#well the second one was pikes idea but spock was like GOOD IDEA CAPTAIN so. thats on you buddy

[seraphsfire]

spock's first idea that didn't work: shoot the musical theater space anomaly

spock's second idea: blow up the musical theater space anomaly

[shanastoryteller]

Star Trek please!! Happy Halloween

a continuation of 1 2 3 4 5 6

Admiral Archer is unwilling to take his rescission at face value and demands a more complete explanation. To Spock's relief, and the gathered students' disappointment, he's willing to hear it in his private office.

Captain Pike slips in behind them, which gets him an irritated scowl but the admiral allows it. Spock is only marginally surprised by this. Admiral Archer and Captain Pike are known to be on good terms and James Kirk had entered the academy on Captain Pike's recommendation.

"Explain," Admiral Archer demands.

Spock hesitates.

Starfleet is of course aware of the events that took place on Tarsus IV and so they must be equally aware of James Kirk's role in it. While Admiral Archer certainly has the clearance to know the particulars, it does not mean that he does, and Spock is loathe to reveal these particulars, even to someone who could find them out himself. Additionally, Captain Pike does not have the necessary clearance, and while he does not think that James Kirk would allow his presence if he did not wish him to know, or had not already told him, Spock cannot be certain and there is no way for him to ask.

"Commander," Admiral Archer snaps. "Is this a joke to you?"

"No, sir," he answers. He doesn't find any of this funny at all.

James Kirk steps up next to him and rests a hand on his shoulder. Spock resists the urge to flinch and shoots him a disapproving look. The contact is not skin on skin, but any casual contact is discouraged. James Kirk is very well aware of Vulcan customs.

Then again, his point of contact for Vulcan culture is Sybok. His brother had been significantly more... affectionate after Tarsus IV. Spock wonders if that's something he picked up from his association with James Kirk.

"It's alright," James Kirk says warmly. "Spock, tell Admiral Archer whatever you want him to know."

He doesn't remove his hand. Human's run hot, their physiology not perfectly calibrated to survive in the deep heat of the desert, but even still James Kirk's hand feels unusually warm.

"I was unaware of Cadet Kirk's background with facing impossible odds when I made my accusation," he says. "Having been made aware of it, my perspective has shifted. Cadet Kirk does not allow rules or the constraints of logic prevent him from doing what he believes must be done. This was what he was demonstrating by bypassing and reprogramming my system."

He can feel James Kirk staring at him but he doesn't take his eyes of Admiral Archer.

Admiral Archer frowns. "You didn't know he was on Tarsus IV with your brother?"

That he already knows is a source of relief. The incredulity is less.

"Spock had exams the time I went to Vulcan," James Kirk says. "Sybok loves an excuse to go off-planet, so we usually meet up on Earth. Spock and I have never met before." He turns to him with a grin that Spock is distinctly uncomfortable having aimed in his direction. "I should have known the second I saw you. You look a lot like your mother."

Being compared to one's mother on Vulcan is a high compliment. Or it's supposed to be. Spock's had those same words hurled at him before, but it was with cruelty, as a way to demean him rather than honor the woman who bore him.

James Kirk say the words easily, exactly as they are intended to be spoken.

"You're driving me to drink," Admiral Archer says.

Spock has no idea how to appropriately respond to that.

"What about me? You're driving me to drink," James Kirk says, "which is driving Bones to as of yet unknown heights of nagging. The stress isn't good for him but he keeps threatening me with hypos when I tell him that. Can't I just be concerned for my friend?"

That is not an appropriate response on top of being incomprehensible.

Admiral Archer rubs his forehead. "Chris."

"Sir," Captain Pike returns, grabs the back of James Kirk's jacket, and hauls him out of there like grabbing a wayward kitten by the scruff of its neck.

Spock stands there, unsure, until Admiral Archer glances up and says, "You too, Commander. I'll consider this matter closed."

He nods, "Thank you, Sir," and steps outside to an empty hall. Captain Pike and James Kirk are nowhere to be seen.

Once he returns to his quarters, he video calls his brother.

He doesn't pick up.

Typical.

[gender-snatched]

Hey so I want you to tell me every single thing I could possibly want to know about Star Trek

OK YEAH. under cut because. well. you know me.

So, in the 60s, Gene Roddenberry started a sci-fi series. This was Star Trek. It's about a starship named the USS Enterprise, which is part of Starfleet. Starfleet is the exploration branch of the Federation of Planets, which is basically the UN of the galaxy. The USS Enterprise is, at the time of the show, captained by James T Kirk, although it was previously captained by Christopher Pike. Kirk is an extremely traumatized nerd who is doing what he really wants to do. His First Officer (and Science Officer) is Mr. Spock, the only alien on the ship. Spock is (half) Vulcan, a species that values "logic" above all, yadda yadda. His Chief Medical Officer is his bestie, Leonard "Bones" McCoy.

He also has: Lieutenant Nyota Uhura (Communications Officer), Lt. Commander Montgomery "Scotty" Scott (Chief Engineer), Lt Hikaru Sulu (Navigator), Nurse Christine Chapel (Nurse), Ensign Pavel Chekov (pilot [?]), and Yeoman Janice Rand (Yeoman)

All these characters are MASSIVELY important for the time. Uhura was a black woman in a major position on the ship; Chapel, Uhura, and Rand were all strong women; Chekov was Russian during the Cold War; Spock was a metaphor for xenophobia and was also Jewish; Sulu was Asian in a time where anti-Asian racism was super high (and his actor, George Takei was Japanese and was raised in internment camps).

Importantly, Star Trek was so so amazing for a show from the sixties. It had one of the first interracial kisses on TV, and had multiple episodes with all sorts of metaphors. Yes, it had problems (misogyny and a fair bit of racism), but for the sixties? It was so incredible.

And the second season started with the episode "Amok Time", which was written by a queer man and focuses on the idea of Spock going into heat and going to die if he doesn't fuck. Somehow, writhing in the sand with Kirk cures this.

And that's the start of slash culture! Almost all slash culture is the fault of either Star Trek or X Files.

So Star Trek: The Original Series got 3 seasons and became a cult classic. And then in the 80s (?) it got the movies. The Motion Picture (bad, but tolerable), Wrath of Khan (pretty damn good), Search for Spock (bad and questionable), Voyage Home (aka The One With the Whales and fucking AWESOME), and then two others I didn't care about whatsoever.

And then, after the movies, The Next Generation came out. It takes place a bit later, with better cameras and effects. The spaceship is smoother, and it's also incredible. Its cast includes: Captain Jean Luc Picard, First Officer William Riker, Chief Medical Officer Beverly Crusher, Chief Engineer Geordi La Forge, Lt Cmr Data (what is his role I can't remember), Security Officer Tash Yar, Worf (also can't remember his role), Dr. Pulaski (I don't like her), Guinan (bartender), and Wesley Crusher.

Terrible confession, but I only finished TOS. I still know TNG pretty well tho.

After TNG we got: Deep Space Nine (my BELOVED), Voyager (wish I had watched more), Enterprise (good if you ignore the misogyny), and then all the nuTrek I haven't been paying attention to because I can't watch it.

Deep Space Nine is the other one I never finished but know, and it focuses on a space station near the planet Bajor. Bajor just threw off the rule of Cardassia, an empire. The Federation, with questionable motives, is helping them rebuild. They send a captain there, and then a wormhole opens, making the space station super super important. Then a war happens but I didn't reach that.

It focuses on Captain Sisko, his son Jake, his first officer Major Kira Nerys, his CMO Julian Bashir, his science officer Jadzia Dax (trangender worm), his engineer Miles O'Brien, a cop Odo, a bartender Quark, a "simple tailor" (actually an exiled Cardassian spy) Garak, and later, Worf.

It's really good, because while TNG pulls a full utopia, DS9 contradicts it and also has just amazing characters. Shame I didn't finish it before Netflix lost it. It also has the first CANONICALLY bisexual character in Star Trek.

There's a LOT of Trek, and I can probably give vague overviews about all of them and also answer any and all questions about it. Please. Please have questions.

[tailsrevane]

[tv review] snw 1x10 “a quality of mercy” (2022)

they did it. they stuck the landing.

i kind of sussed out from the various clips and trailers the general shape of what this episode was going to be, and it seemed like a good idea but a risky one. and, you know, that’s kind of super appropriate actually? considering you have pike meeting captain james “risk is our business, gentlemen” kirk.

kirk is certainly more synonymous with risk-taking, and does indeed accuse pike of being too risk-averse, the narrative ends up not bearing him out. because pike does take a risk, a huge one. just a much different one than the kind kirk is synonymous with. it doesn’t pan out, but in that last scene between pike and kirk, you can tell that kirk had a newfound respect for pike. and that they have more in common than might first appear.

the other side of this episode also finds a captain pike armed with the knowledge that sometimes you can’t avoid a fight. and that seems like a pretty important thing for him to have heard right at that moment in time for, you know, reasons.

the second i heard future pike’s voice i knew basically what was going to happen, but when they cut to him standing there in a wrath of khan-era admiral uniform i couldn’t help but let out a fanby squee.

ending on a retelling of one of the best and most beloved tos episodes was a bold move. but it paid off. what they did with it was fantastic. and this episode accomplished so much. it closed the book on a difficult part of pike’s life, and he’s clearly approaching the future with a more resolute attitude. i’m looking forward to him, hopefully, just being the best captain he can be going forward.

it’s funny, i started the season a little annoyed that they were continuing this plot thread from discovery because i just wanted an uncomplicated tng-style star trek show, but i have to admit at this point that i was just super wrong. the way they resolved it took it from a liability to an asset, and on top of that the moment where him and spock told each other how important they were to each other genuinely made me tear up. i’m not saying i ship it, but i’m also not saying i don’t ship it.

literally my only complaint is that slotting ortegas into a toned down version of lt. riley’s space racism storyline felt thoroughly awkward, and i think it did a disservice to her character. it didn’t really add anything to the story, and it wasn’t really resolved. it feels a little like it was included out of a sense of obligation.

still, though, i’m nitpicking at this point. this was a fantastic episode, and it sets up a great future for the show going forward. and considering its first season might very well be the best season of any star trek show, i cannot wait to see where the show goes from here.

s-rank

[jillianallen14]

Spirk fanfic rec

Some amazing Spirk fanfic to bless your dash because I’m falling in love with this shit all over again (this is like the 10th time this has happened lol):

Entering Orbit:  Jim escapes to Iowa to avoid the media frenzy following the Narada incident, but a late-night miscommunication results in Spock turning up on his front porch; rated m; 30,957 words

Papers in the Roadside:  Non-Starfleet AU. Jim owns a small bar in Chicago, keeps on picking up strays and taking care of everyone no matter how hard it makes his own life. Spock is a journalist writing feature articles for the Chicago Tribune; he depicts the world with uncanny skill, but hides more than one personal drama and is possibly under surveillance from the Vulcan royal family. They meet by accident just before their lives start to spin out of control; rated e; 49,637 words

Take Refuge in What You Know:  AU - Kirk has moved into a apartment/house and wants to get to know his neighbors. He meets his neighbor Spock, a loner who suffers from extreme agoraphobia. Kirk thinks he's beautiful enigma; rated e; 120,334 words

Listen, this is not only my favorite Star Trek fic of all time, it’s also one of my favorite fanfics in general. It’s right up there with Text Talk and The Shoebox Project from the HP fandom, which if you’ve read, you know are incredible and frankly life-changing. And this fanfic changed my life. The description the author gives doesn’t do the beauty of this fic justice. I suffer from agoraphobia and Spock’s depiction as an agoraphobic man was probably the most well-researched, sympathetic, empathetic, caring, realistic portrayal of what it’s like to be agoraphobic that I’ve ever witnessed in fiction. It made me cry like a child because I had never felt so seen and understood. This writer is incredible, and this fic is incredible. I can’t recommend it enough. It’s an AU, which I’m usually pretty wary about, but it barely even feels like an AU. It just feels like Jim and Spock. The author’s understanding of both of their characters’ is perfect, like just a spot-on portrayal of who they are. This fic genuinely helped me accept who I am and helped me understand that I am capable of & deserving of love. If you don’t read any other Star Trek fics (and you def should read more Star Trek fics because they’re amazing), then let this one be the one you read. I dare you not to read it three times in a row like I did.

Observations:  First Officer Spock comments on life aboard the Enterprise and his service under Captain James T. Kirk; rated m; 500,000+ words.

So the author of this fic actually did a thing where they made this fic into two books (similar to what The Shoebox Project authors did many years ago in the HP fandom). They don’t get any money from people buying the books; the cost is just to go towards producing the books. This fic is the equivalent of two LARGE novels. We’re talking 600 pages & up. It’s a huge fic. Now, that being said, I read it in one day. ONE DAY. It’s that good. This is another one of my all-time favorite fics, though not quite as dear to my heart as the one I listed above. It’s focused on AOS, and tbh, I forget that what happens in this book isn’t actually canon. Like it’s so well-told, it just feels like it’s now part of the timeless story of Kirk & Spock. The “professional” Star Trek writers would never be brave enough to do what this author does with Kirk and Spock, though. This fic will make you angry, will make you laugh, will make you cry. It has such a good grasp on every single character. It also shows the love between the crew of the Enterprise, which is always a treat, and it’s beautifully done in this fic. It has a sorta-enemies-to-lovers arc between Spirk and an enemies-to-close-friends arc between Spock and McCoy that is beautifully done and fleshed out. This fic is definitely a journey to go through, and I can’t recommend it enough. It’s extremely slow burn, and you will want to slap both Kirk and Spock (and McCoy) upside the head at certain points lol. 

Of Coffee Beans and Green Tea Leaves:  The progression of a relationship, through Coffee Beans and Green Tea Leaves. Basically, it’s an AU where Kirk works at a coffee shop to pay his way through school, and Spock visits often. rated t; 16,429 words

Love, love, love, this fic. It’s cute, it’s in character. They have kind of a rocky start together, so it’s got a little bit of that Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy i-hated-you-but-now-i-love-you-marry-me vibes to it. I’m a sucker for that, if you haven’t figured that out by now lol. It’s really good, and a really enjoyable read. And it’s not too long, if you’re in the mood for something on the shorter end of things.

 Please Don’t Touch the Vulcans:  The "yes" is out of Jim's mouth before he can think about it. Jim is chipper about having time off for the holidays. He asks everyone if they want to spend time together but sadly, everyone ditches Jim over the holidays because they have plans. McCoy visits his daughter, Nyota visits her family, and everyone splits. Not knowing Spock has feelings for him, Jim doesn't even bother asking if he wants to spend time together figuring he has something to do. Something cute, romantic with the boys spending time with one another and confessions; rated m; 17,690 words

Super cute and has lots of Sarek, which idk about y’all, but I’m always a fan of. Sarek and Jim kind of get to know each other a bit, and it’s cute. Sarek knows about they’re in love before Spock & Kirk know lol. If I remember correctly, there’s also some appearances from everyone’s favorite: Old!Spock! You also get a little bit of jealous and protective Young!Spock. So you’re in for a real treat with this one. 

The Ren shat’var Trilogy:  A split-second decision changes Jim's life forever, as he enters into a bond with Spock in the face of certain torture. Enemies to the Federation emerge from unlikely places, and the command team must contend with unexpected threats, as well as challenges within their own intense relationship. In this three-part series, the Enterprise races across the galaxy to confront the unknown, and Jim and Spock discover the true significance of their unprecedented connection; rated e; 184,411 words

Textual Attraction:  Valentine’s Day does not bring up pleasant memories for Cadet Kirk. But the serendipitous switch-up of his cell phone with a particular Vulcan professor’s will make his day far more interesting –and romantic. Perhaps some new memories can be made! 15,900 words

SO GOOD. Just SO good

Spaceman:  Academy AU. Five times Spock realizes he's attracted to a barista at the academy spaceport, and one time he decides to do something about it. rated t; 3728 words

Short, sweet, funny. You’ll love it.

Subtext: Texting your Vulcan first officer in the middle of the night is never a good idea. Especially when you have an obsessive crush on said Vulcan.The holidays are approaching and Jim is left entirely Spockless aboard the Enterprise when his First takes shore leave on New Vulcan. After some midnight pining, Jim sends a text he instantly regrets. That is, until Spock responds and willingly continues their textual communications to an inevitable conclusion; rated t; 13,032 words

Cute, sweet, funny. It’s a texting fic. I think you’ve probably figured out I love those. This one makes me laugh so fucking hard. Like actually laugh-out-loud-omg-did-i-just-snort kind of funny. Spock is great in this one

All Spock Wants For Christmas:  While Jim is away on a delegation mission, he panics about what to give Spock for Christmas. With help from Bones and Uhura, and in between some spam texting with Spock, Jim realizes he already has the perfect gift. And all it needs is wrapping paper and a bow; rated t; 11,966 words

And here we have another cute, sweet, funny texting fic. Sue me lol

The Morning After:  Jim convinces Spock to take shore leave with him on Risa, hoping the time together will help re-solidify their bond of friendship after some recent tension. Meanwhile, Spock convinces himself he's on Risa for one reason and one reason only, to prevent his wayward captain from getting into trouble. After a passionately illogical night of Romulan Ale and chocolate infused liquor, everything changes when Jim wakes with something other than a hangover filling his head. Something he's sure neither he nor Spock can handle. Because if Jim knows anything for sure, it's that his messed up thoughts belong nowhere near Spock's clean, ordered mind; rated m; 50,381 words

HAHA. This fic fucking cracks me up. You’ve got drunk boys pining over each other & not realizing it. You’ve got accidental marriage. You’ve got bed sharing. It’s great, it’s cute, it’s funny. 

Take This Sinking Boat (And Point It Home):  In which Spock pines, Jim isn’t stupid (except he kind of is), and Christopher Pike has had enough of this bullshit; 6698 words

Pike is great in this one, and it’s super, super funny.

Extracurricular Activities:   Spock returns to the Academy from a tour of duty to find an intriguing cadet captures his attention; rated e; 15,433 words

Veritas: Basically, Kirk and Spock are on trial because the Federation thinks they are emotionally compromised by each other, which is putting the lives of their crew in danger. They have to convince a court they’re not actually in love with each other. They think the claims are bullshit. They think it will be easy to prove that they aren’t in love or emotionally compromised, damn it. It isn’t; rated m; 186,80 words

This one is so, so good. A real gem off of Fanfic.net. I remember it was actually one of the first Spirk fanfics I ever read, and it blew me away. The progression of their relationship is really well-done and interesting. It has star-crossed lovers vibes and has some really emotionally intense moments in it, especially for Spock. 

A Habitual Affection:  Living in 1930s New York with the Vulcan you're secretly in love with is no simple thing. But Jim never liked anything simple. And then, the big snowstorm hit...; rated t; 7998 words

A beautiful TOS fic about one of the gayest episodes of Star Trek. Love this one. 

Atlas:  Between what was and what will be stands James Tiberius Kirk, in all his fractured patchwork glory. Because saving the Federation was only the beginning; rated t; 135,529 words

A beaut. Really great characterization, and the progression of Jim and Spock’s relationship is really well-done.

[youvebeenlivingfictional]

I’m Always Curious Part Thirty Four

Previous Part | Next Part |  Masterlist Notes: I hope everyone’s having a good week 💕

Warnings: Cursing, a lil fluff, a lil angst. Y’all know me. Summary: I already knew that whatever my fate in this time, it would be different from my own now.

“This doesn’t seem such a bad place to be. I’m an Admiral here,” Eli smiled.

“Well you’re technically not you, so someone that looks and sounds like you is an Admiral,” I reminded him, “You would not be an Admiral if we got stuck here.”

“Have you looked yourself up yet?” 

“No.”

“Why not?-- Maybe you and Pike are loved up somewhere.”

He was teasing, or trying to, but I couldn’t take the jest in stride. I hadn't told him what Mr. Spock had told me about Christopher in this universe; I hadn’t told anyone. I was trying not to let it cloud my mind. I wanted to focus on the task at hand: returning to our universe. But how could this new insight not make that mission all the more urgent? “...Hey,” Eli frowned, “What is it?” I glanced at him, considering. I couldn’t tell Eli— I’d hardly gotten Spock to tell me. Besides, if my hunch was correct and the same events didn’t occur in our universe, it could sound an alarm for nothing. I just shook my head, excusing, “Just...Can’t believe I didn’t attend the Academy in this universe— at least, not with Spock. I can’t imagine going to the Academy without him. We practically lived in the long-range sensor lab together our second year.” “I didn’t know that.” “...Eli, this has to work. We have to get back.” “This Spock says there’s a 12.31% chance that our plan works. That leaves an incredibly large margin of error—” “Durling, you are the Captain of the Pinnacle. What is a pinnacle? It’s a successful point, a culmination. You were over the frickin’ moon when you became Captain— and you’re just going to roll over because there’s a version of you that’s become an Admiral in some universe? Why not focus some of that smugness into your work, get us home, and become an Admiral where people that really know you will be able to see it?” Eli was quiet for a moment, watching me before his eyes darted to the doorway behind us. “I thought that the captains were meant to make the rousing speeches,” Came Kirk’s amused voice behind us. I turned to look at him and Mr. Spock and cleared my throat. “Yes, well… Sometimes Communications officers have to drum up a speech or two to get a captain’s wheels turning,” I grumbled, tucked my hands behind my back. “The occasions are far and few between,” Durling added. -- “Commander, a word, if I may.” “Yes, Mr. Spock?” I turned from the transporter bay with Durling and the rest of our crew was preparing to return to the Pinnacle. “I took the liberty of looking into your existing whereabouts in this universe.” My stomach swooped in fear and anticipation. “Oh– You did not have to do that.” “I must admit that I found it quite curious that you were so adamant about learning about Captain Pike’s future and not your own.” My eyes lowered to the floor as I considered my answer, “Well… Perhaps I care more about the fate of my friends than my own. Is that terribly suspicious?” “I believe I used the word curious, Commander.” “...I guess you did,” I conceded. Spock nodded a little, bringing an envelope out from behind his back. “I cannot force you to come to terms with your own fate in this time,” He said, “But I will allow you the opportunity, should you choose it.” I looked at the envelope for a long moment. I already knew that whatever my fate in this time, it would be different from my own now — my beginnings were already different, my day-to-day existence was entirely separate. I hesitated before I reached out, taking hold of the envelope. “Thank you, Mr. Spock,” I nodded. “Have a safe journey, Commander.” “And you,” I raised my hand in a Vulcan salute. Mr. Spock arched a critical brow, tipping his head toward me as he mirrored the gesture. “Live long, and prosper.” -- 

I held my breath as we dropped out of warp. We all held very still and quiet for a moment, but as the moments passed without a hail from Captain Kirk, the Bridge collectively relaxed and began to whoop with relief. I had never been so relieved to not see the Enterprise anywhere in my periphery. I turned to my station, opening the channels to try and get a hold of any ships in the area. I raised my hand to my earpiece, scanning the array of sensors and monitors in front of me. As I waited, I eyed the envelope on my console, as I waited. I shivered a little, shaking my head. While I hated knowing what Christopher may be in for, I hated the idea of my own potential fate sitting just inches from me nearly twice as much. 

-- When I heard that I was receiving a message from the Enterprise, I was expecting Christopher. I had, instead, been greeted by Una. “Before I ask where you’ve been, let me begin with my purpose,” She said, “Thaleh is leaving the Enterprise. We need a Communications officer. You can, of course, decline.” “I’ll need time to pack,” Was my quick answer. “Well, then you can tell me where you’ve been once you beam aboard. And we’ll have to find someone to replace you with for the Pinnacle.” “....Right, that,” I muttered. Una smiled a little. “I’m sure Durling will be disappointed.” “A little, maybe, but he won’t be surprised.” 

“And I should warn you, Pike has been more than a little...harried with your lack of communication.” “Understandable. If one of you suddenly blipped elsewhere, I would be concerned.” Una arched a sharp brow. “Blipped elsewhere?” She repeated, “Well… I’m certainly looking forward to reviewing that log.” 

-- “Door,” I ordered. I didn’t turn away from the box of things that I was unpacking. I could’ve sworn I’d left more notebooks on the Enterprise— “...Finding the new quarters alright?” I stilled at the sound of his voice. So much had happened since we’d warped through the singularity: the Discovery had beamed to an uncertain future, Spock— my Spock, had returned to the Enterprise...And so had Christopher. I hadn’t seen or spoken to Christopher since Mr. Spock had told me of his potential fate. It had been on my mind since I beamed aboard, and it had lingered, even as I settled into my new quarters and unpacked the boxes of my things that had been saved and stored. 

“It’s certainly larger than the last time I was aboard,” I conceded, lowering a notebook and brushing the dust from my hands as I turned to face him. I found Christopher looking around, and I took the chance to look him over. It was nice to see him in Command gold again, especially after that jarring experience of seeing Kirk in Captain’s chair of the Enterprise. Christopher’s eyes drifted to me, finally, and he smiled, “Well, you weren’t a Commander the last time you were aboard.” “That is an excellent point.” Christopher was quiet for a moment before he took a couple of steps deeper into the room. His hands were still tucked behind his back, and I found myself wishing that he would just reach out; I wish that I felt like I could. “What happened out there?” He asked, “Una used the word blipped.” I sighed softly, scrubbing my hand over my brow. I’d explained to Una exactly what had happened as I’d unpacked what I’d brought over from the Pinnacle. “Oh… Sometimes you accidentally warp through a singularity and wind up a universe where you never went to Starfleet. Typical Thursday, you know.” Christopher’s brows rose, his head tipping forward. “An alternate universe?” He repeated. I nodded. “I know you’ve some experience with that. Una told me about the Terran incident before I became part of the crew. It’s uh…. Jarring.” “It certainly is.” “We were only there for about three days but here, it was… It was months.” Christopher nodded as he came to a full stop just in front of me, looking down into my box from storage. “Everything you needed in there?” He asked. “Um— … Could’a sworn I had a couple hundred more notebooks aboard, but it’s been a while, you know. And Pal might have a few, I used to lend them to him all the time for conjugations and stuff,” I leaned back against my desk, folding my arms across my chest, “You’re um… You’re alright?” “Fine. It’s nice to see that you’re in one piece. I was concerned.” That warmed me more than it was surely meant to, and I had to duck my head to hide the smile that crept up at his admission. “I didn’t mean to concern you. I can point you in the direction of the singularity that we warped through, if you’d like to pick a fight.” Christopher huffed a soft laugh, shaking his head a little bit. “How about I just...See you on the Bridge tomorrow?” “Sounds good, Captain.” “Don’t be late.” “I wouldn’t dare, sir.” I smiled, watching Christopher leave my quarters. I sighed softly, sliding off of my desk and into my chair, looking out of my window for a few moments. I had a warm feeling swirling in my chest, something safe and soft. It felt like home. Tag list: @angels-pie​​ ; @fantasticcopeaglepasta​​  ; @mylittlelonelyappreciationtoo​​ ; @how-am-i-serpose-to-know​​ ; @onlyhereforthefandomandgiggles​​ ; @inmyowncorner​​  ; @tardis-23​​  ; @paintballkid711​​ ; @katrynec​​ ; @hypnobananaangelfish ; @elen-aranel​​ ; @blueeyesatnight​​ ; @hotchswifey​​​

[elen-aranel]

Lt., Phone Home (Part 2)

The Engineer’s Adventures

1-1 • 1-2 • 2 •  3 • 4

For @autumnleaves1991-blog Writer Wednesday. I saw the prompt and was inspired Pairing: Captain Christopher Pike x F!Reader (no Y/N) Warnings: mild cursing, drunk guy being creepy, mild canon-typical violence, alcohol mentions. WC: 2.5k A/N: what is happening to me I wrote this today and um. Yeah. Lots of plot but no kissing? Idk what to say. This is the Captain I needed today. Please excuse the pun title.

“I don’t think I can do this, Captain.”

It has been an... unusual day. Even if in space in general and on the Enterprise in particular there aren’t all that many usual days, this one has been exceptional.

You aren’t privy to all the details of what happened – you were in Engineering, running a level three diagnostic when the alien ship had crossed your path, and, well, ships and technology are your thing. Not theoretical temporal mechanics. Although, you suppose, looking at the... ‘phone booth’? Maybe the mechanics aren’t theoretical anymore.

You were surprised when you were summoned to the conference room, and told that you would be joining the Captain on this mission. Between getting dressed in civvies that wouldn’t look out of place in the twentieth century, and packing a bag with the equipment you’d need to retrieve the artefact, you couldn’t decide if you were more surprised that you were going or that Number One was letting the Captain off the ship, given the circumstances.

“So, why are we doing this?” You ask, as you scan the small town you’ve beamed to the edge of with your tricorder. You know what you’re looking for, but that’s about all.

“The Layrians maybe could have asked before they sent us back in time but... something was stolen from them and wound up here.” he quirks a wry smile at you. “If the... artefact, is allowed to stay here? They showed me the damage that would be done to the timeline, and Spock was able to verify it. Sending us back shielded us.”

“Oh. I guess that makes sense,” you reply, adjusting the tricorder. “Well, whatever it is, it’s this way,” you say, gesturing, as you put your tricorder back in your bag. You can’t bring yourself to ask why you had been chosen for the mission.

“Lead on,” Pike says, and the two of you head into the town.

It’s evening, getting dark, and the streets are quiet. Shops are shut, and only a couple of people pass as you walk.

“Is it wrong that even though I can’t believe how lucky I am to be here, part of me wishes it was daytime?” you say, as you turn a corner on to what looks to be the main street.

“No, I don’t think so. I would like to stop for a coffee. Look in the shops. But...”

“But we would probably mess up the timeline.” A vehicle drives past, and you wrinkle your nose. “I wasn’t expecting the smell.”

Pike laughs. “Horrible, isn’t it? Give me a horse to get around on any day.”

“Horses smell too, though, right? Especially when...”

“But it’s a natural smell. It’s different.”

“Whatever you say, sir,” you say, rolling your eyes a little to show you aren’t convinced. “The building we want is that one.” You point across the road to a bar. You hear music coming through the doorway, see people going in and out.

“You’d better call me Chris when we’re in there. We don’t want to draw attention when we’re around people.”

“Um... yes, Chris.”

You should have known that a bar would be trouble. Inside you take a seat at a table in the corner, where you can scan surreptitiously, and the Captain – Chris – goes to buy you drinks. You take a look round. It isn’t full, but it’s a week night, and there are a decent number of people. A band is playing in the corner, with guitars and a girl sitting on a stool singing. A few people are listening but most are chatting. You’re pleased to see that the currency you synthesised on the ship hasn’t raised any suspicions, as Chris returns with a beer for you and a scotch on the rocks for himself.

“Cheers,” he says, clinking his glass with your bottle. You take a sip, savouring the authentic taste of the alcohol.

“Don’t forget, this is the real stuff,” he adds, as he takes a sip himself.

“I can’t. I think this might spoil me for the stuff we usually have.” You avoid saying synthehol – you don’t know if anyone can hear you.

“Don’t play innocent. I know about the hooch you guys brew in the test bay.”

You laugh. “I never drink that stuff, Chris. It is absolutely disgusting.” He raises an eyebrow at you. “It’s fine if you just want to get plastered, but the hangover is not worth it.”

“Sounds like you’re speaking from experience there... do you have a story to tell?” He smiles, dimples at you, and wow. You’re in a bar, in the twentieth century, with a Captain that looks like that, and he has dimples.

“I am absolutely not telling you any stories of any kind,” you return, taking another sip of your beer before opening your tricorder under the table.

You look at your readings. This is going to be a problem.

“The artefact. It’s that thing on the counter behind the bar. Next to the machine they put the money in.”

“The doll-looking thing?” Chris sounds sceptical.

“That’s the one.” You sigh. You have no idea how you’ll get to it.

“I’m going to go take a closer look.” Chris goes to the bar and orders another drink, but this time he stays, flirting with the bartender. She’s pretty, and she doesn’t seem to be trying to shut him down – her laugh looks natural as she leans in toward him, not paying any attention to a couple of guys further along the bar who are clearly waiting to be served. You feel a pang of jealousy go through you at that, but he’s the Captain. There’s no way he’d ever want to be with you. You sigh and power off your tricorder, putting it back in the bag.

“Hey beautiful, looks like your guy abandoned you. How about you and me have some fun, make him jealous?” You look up into the inebriated face of a man in his mid thirties, dark hair greasy and beard unkept. He might even have been attractive if he got cleaned up. If he wasn’t so clearly drunk.

“No thanks, I’m good,” you say, polite.

“Yeah you are,” he says as he sits down anyway. You scan the room. Chris hasn’t noticed – he’s still talking with the bartender, and the band is playing a louder number now. No one is paying attention to you.

“If you’ll excuse me,” you say, moving to stand, but he grabs your arm.

“Don’t be a bitch. I just want to get to know you.”

You stand, yanking your arm out of his grip, and he falls backwards off the chair. But he gets up surprisingly fast, advancing toward you before you can get round him. And somehow, he has friends – those two guys at the bar have got up and are flanking him.

“Come on, honey, is that any way to treat a guy who’s being nice to you?” He makes toward you again and, well. Starfleet doesn’t give you combat training for nothing. You punch him, hard, and he goes sprawling into his friends. Everything goes quiet for a second, and suddenly you realise you have friends too – Chris is on one side of you, and a stranger on the other. Then the guy you punched rallies and all hell breaks loose.

Suddenly everyone in the place has taken sides; a fight must have been waiting to happen, you think, as you push forward to the bar. The bartender is going for the phone, and you see your chance. You catch the Captain’s eye, mouth “leave”, then you jump up onto and over the bar, glad for your pants and sensible shoes.

What you didn’t expect, as you hear sirens in the distance, was that the artefact was going to release some kind of EM pulse when you touched it. The lights all blow. The sprinklers come on. The money machine thing spews out a load of paper then catches on fire before the sprinklers dowse it.

Chris was nearly out the door, so he only stumbled out into the street. You held on to the doll-statue thing with a death grip – you hadn’t come this far to be thwarted – and maybe that protected you? But either way, where everyone else had been fighting or moving to get out the way or protect their drinks, they were now all sprawled on the floor like so many puppets with cut strings.

You check the bartender – she is still breathing, pulse still strong – but the sirens are getting louder. You stow the doll in your bag, go through the bar’s back door, through the dark kitchen, step over the cook’s prone form, and out into the alley.

You want to lean against the wall, calm down a little, but the siren is close now and you need to find the Captain, so you continue out onto the street.

Pike’s hair is mussed. You’ve never seen him look less then perfect before, but there is no other word for it.

“Captain, are you okay?” You ask as you fall into step with him.

“Chris. And I’m fine. Did you get...?”

“Yes, it’s in here.” You pat your bag. “I can believe it could mess up a timeline, based on what happened in there.”

“That was something else,” he says, taking your arm to draw you into an alleyway, out of sight of prying eyes.

He reaches in his pocket for his communicator with his other hand, and flips it open. It doesn’t make the usual sound.

“Pike to Enterprise, come in please,” he says but there’s just silence. Not even static.

He closes and re-opens it but still nothing, so you reach in your bag for yours, handing it to him wordlessly.

“Pike to Enterprise?” but there’s nothing. Yours is fried too.

You get out your tricorder, expecting it to be dead, but it switches on.

“I think the... doll... fried all active devices. Communicators run on low power all the time for translation. We have the tricorder but I can’t use it to contact the ship.”

“Well, we better not stay here. We’re loitering,” he says, with that lopsided smile again. “Not that I... well.”

You wonder what he had been going to say, when—

“Excuse me, sir, ma’am, is everything all right?” You turn to see a Police officer, looking you up and down. You’re glad for a second time that you’re wearing practical clothing.

“We’re fine, Officer. Thank you,” Pike replies, putting sincerity into his voice.

“There was a bit of a disturbance at the bar, Jane’s, earlier. You been there this evening?”

“We stopped by for a drink, but we didn’t stay long. The band was a little loud, and we couldn’t talk. Everything was fine when we left, though. What happened?” Pike looks concerned, and you work to match his expression.

“We’re not sure. They called us to say there was a fight, but when we got there all the lights were off and everyone was flat out on the floor. Looked like they’d been electrocuted.”

“Oh my god that’s awful! Is—is everyone okay?” You hope you didn’t ham it up too much, but the policeman looks at you with approval.

“We’ve got medics on the scene but it looks like everyone will be fine.” He takes a step back. “Call us if you think of anything you saw, that could be suspicious.”

“Of course,” Chris says. Calling. You need to make a call.

“Um... officer? I should call my sister, let her know we’re okay. Is there...?” You’re sure there is some kind of communication system in this era, but you’ve no idea what it’s called.

“A phone booth? Sure.” He points. Just down there, on the right. You two take care now,” he says as he walks away.

Chris takes your arm again as he steers you across the road.

“Well done,” he says softly, and suddenly it begins to hit you. You’re in the past. You’re cut off from your ship. You were nearly electrocuted. That creep who you had to punch. The weird doll. Dealing with the police officer.

You come to a stop in front of the phone booth. It’s very dark now, though the booth itself is lit, and this road is even quieter. There’s no one else around. Still—

“I don’t think I can do this, Captain.” You’re embarrassed to admit it – you’re Starfleet, you’re supposed to be ready for anything. “I know I should be impressing you right now, rising to the challenge, but I—” You stare at the ground.

“Hey,” he says, drawing you round to face him. “This has been a lot, and you’re not used to it. Away missions... you can train all you want but it takes real life practice before you get comfortable, especially when the shit hits the fan.” He touches your face gently, quickly, just enough to make you look up. “I wouldn’t have picked you if I didn’t know you can do this. I know this is your first time on a mission like this, and I am impressed with how you’ve handled yourself so far. Your quick thinking in the bar back there? You’re a natural. You just need to try one more time. Are you with me?”

“Yes Captain.” You take a breath, and get your tricorder out, and a toolkit. You scan the circuitry, then set to work. Something occurs to you while you have the phone in pieces, and you smile

“What’s funny?” The Captain asks, and you gesture to the keypad.

“Enter 1701,” you say.

It’s worth it for his grin as he presses the buttons.

“Pike to Enterprise?” He says as the phone connects, and you can just hear Number One’s voice, a little tinny, though the speaker. “We have the artefact. Can you beam us back from this location?” He sees you holding up three fingers. “In three minutes. Our communicators got fried and we need to put the... uh... phone booth back. Yes I know.” He rolls his eyes. “All right. See you soon,” he hangs up, and you get your tools out again.

Back on the ship, back in your uniform, back in your time, you are called to the ready room. You bring a PADD with your report.

“Captain,” you say, handing it over.

“Thank you,” he replies. “I wanted to ask you here to say... thank you for your exemplary performance. I wouldn’t be surprised if the mission ends up being classified, but you saved the timeline. The important people know.”

“Thank you, sir. And thank you for your support down there. The stress did get to me but... I’d do it again.”

He looks at you, then, his blue eyes holding yours as he comes to some decision.

“Please understand, this is a request you can say no to. I don’t want to put you under any pressure but... I abandoned you at that bar, a bit, and I was wondering... would you like to join me for a drink, after shift? I only have the real stuff.”

You feel butterflies in your stomach as you reply, “I—I’d like that. Yes.”

“Then it’s a date.”

(Part 2)

[startreckobsessed]

Let you go

Hi! Can i make a request? 🥺 For AOS Leonard Mccoy? With a lil bit of TOS Old Spock. Should probably set on Into Darkness, Bones and reader broke up between the event of the first and second film, so bones was a bit unbothered to flirt with Dr.Marcus (he’s trying to make reader jealous). Old spock talk them out of their misery by telling them that they’re story was quiet unique because in his timeline they didn’t even met, so they should cherish it. (Or whatever, as long as spock intervenes). They talk, and made up. And oh, fluff. Emotional tear jerking fluff. Thank you thank you!!

I have this idea (this was supposed to be a different request, but hey! ), that reader used to date and was in love with this hotshot before she met Leonard. Said ex died in action as a honored captain. Reader was devistated. Again this was supposed a different request, but you can make it as a back story. Can i make this my second request? Hehe 🥺😅

@lykxzandlove Thank you for requesting darling, and thanks for your patience, this one really faught me haha. If you recognise some of the dialogue it's from thirteen reasons why.

Warnings: ANGST ANGST ANGST. I may or may not have cried while writing this.

[[READ MORE]]

You stood in rank dressed in your grey uniform, cap framing your line of vision, shoulder to shoulder between checkov and Sulu as you gazed up at the podium where captain pike was speaking.

"Exceptional courage, is what drives us....

And our crew, is what fuels us..."

Your crew had just finished the first two year leg of your mission. A long two years...

"Let's take a moment to pay tribute to past captain's whom have made the ultimate sacrifice..." the images roll, and a firmiliar face flashed before your eyes and you suck in a breath, squeazing your eyes shut to keep your tears at bay.

You breath out carefully out of your nose, trying desperately to keep the sudden onslaught of emotions contained.

People told you time would numb it, but even give years later, the pain was still fresh and raw each and every time you heard his name, or saw his picture pop up in your records.

You gritted your teeth, struggling to ground yourself in this moment, focusing on your feet on the ground.

You blinked harshly, lifting your face and focusing your attention on captain Pike.

You don't fail to notice the doctors face turned toward you, no doubt brows mashed together over concerned eyes. The urge to meet his eyes and sink into their depths is nearly overpowers your will, but you hold strong, chin high.

------

You had never meant to fall for Leonard. You were deep in it before you even realised what was happening. You were complacent with where you were, some people go their entire lives without knowing true love, you got yours. You didn't feel the need for a new one. But there he came, blazing and true like a comment blasting across the black abyss your crew so faithfully piloted. It happened so naturally, slipping through your defences so you never noticed it.

Until it was too late, and both of you had been wounded in the process.

----

"Sweetheart?" Leonard called from behind you. You cursed silently, slowly turning to face him, trying to keep the guilt off your face as you turned to face him. "You should probably stop calling me that.." You said softly. He frowned, and not the way you liked when he was being sardonic or adorably frustrated with the captain, this one was real.

"Sorry." He said "habit. Are you alright? You left the ceremony yesterday so quickly..." you shake your head, looking away from him. "Fine, I'm fine." You said, swiftly turning and walking away from him. He frowned, looking after you, not noticing his hand was slightly extended, reaching out for you.

------

Later that day, you made your way down to the mess hall, spotting the old Ambasseter Spock, sitting alone by a window. You go through and get your food before approaching the table, greeted by a warm smile.

"Hello ambassator, " you awenered with your own. "Mind if I join you?"

"Not at all Y/N. Your company has always always been welcome." You sit down across from him. "Do tell me, how is the good doctor doing." Your fork freezes near your mouth before you set it down. "Oh, I don't know." He frowns deeply.

"I can't imagine why not." He says. "We-" your voice cracks. You clear your throat. "Were not together anymore." Suprise flits crosses his face.

"Well, now that can't be right." He says. You grimace, "I know, nothing feels right anymore, it's like reality has been tilted on its hinges, but..."

"If you don't mind me prying..." He prompts. "Go ahead, you can ask."

"What caused the separation?"

"me." You say thickly. Unexpectedly he reaches across the table and pats your hand in a grandfatherly gesture.

"And by my estimation, you do not seem satisfied with the conclusion, correct?" You hesitate before nodding. "Then mabey its time to rethink that course of action?" Your eyes widen before you look down at the table, shame radiating off of you. "I can't do that, I've already hurt him too bad, I still hurt him." You grimace, thinking of the encounter in the hallway. "I don't know how to stop hurting him." You say, more to yourself than to him.

"Then perhapse it's time to discover what is hurting you." He says. You look away into the porthole, into the black inky abyss that you sometimes wished would swallow you up.

"You know, you two are a remarkable pair." You look at him quissicly. "What makes you say that?" "In every universe I've traveled there are differences, the events in a person's life, and how they react to them, shape who they become. In every universe a different set of events happen in both of your lives, and yet every single time, one of the only constants I find are both of you coming together, no matter the space or the time nor the obstacles placed before you, the one constant is your souls coming together. And from what I can tell, it hurts your souls to be apart."

Question bubbles to your lips, but you silence it. "Ask your question, Y/N." You smile grimly. "You know me too well." "Well I've only had two lifetimes to know you."

"Where you come from... what are we like?" He smiles fondly, memories coming back to him. He sighs in a melancholy way.

"Your other self passed on just a few months ago, from a human ailement not yet curable, he blames himself for not being able to save you." Your eyes widened before blinking in shock. "Wow, thats... God how is he?" He frowns even more deeply. "Trying to go day by day, but losing someone one loves so deeply for so long... is not an easy thing to accommodate to." "Well whats.." many questions bubble to your lips at once before deciding on one. "I-Is he alone?" You ask, voice cracking. He shakes his head. "The good captain has come to earth to stay with hm, along with your daughter and grandchildren." "Joanna?" He smiles just slightly. "Well I couldn't give everything away could I?" You bark out a teary laugh and he chuckles. "But time, is so very precious my dear, you yourself told me that after your diagnosis." "Well, at least one of us has sense."

"But to thoroughly awenser your question, might I go over a timeline?" "Yes, I'd like that." You sigh, resting your head on your palm. "You met on this ship, like so many other times...."

--------

A few days later, you smooth down your hair as you look in the mirror. You were ready to come clean with Leonard about everything you've been keeping buried. Your heart thundered at the thought of unearthing the source of so much pain, but you were ready to start again with him, start fresh, open and raw, with no secrets.

You exited your quarters and went looking for him. Your fingers nervously tapped against your legs as you walked, looking for him, first going to the Med bay. Christine greeted you, her brows burrowing when you ask for him. "Oh hun, he's off planet on a mission." "Oh." You say "thank you Christine." You say before dashing off for the bridge, where you knew they'd be monitoring.

The tube doors opened up and you made your way to stand next to the captains chair, where Jim was watching. He greeted you silently with a nod, both of you listening to the audio feed coming in. You asked what they were doing, knowing he could probably hear you being so close to Jim. Jim quietly filled you in. "We found some ancient Clingon battle tech on this planet, were trying to salvage it."

"Well sweetheart, there something I can help you with?" His voice came through painfully clear, flirtatious and laying it on thick. Your heart seized and you swallowed against the lump suddenly stuck in your throat

Jim eyed you warily "Dr. McCoy may I remind you you are not there to flirt." He said in a stern voice, concerned for your feelings. Dr. Marcus' voice rang in. "We've got it, beam us up."

Once you saw him you forgot that you were surrounded by your crewmates, your hurt voice ringing out.

"You... You called her sweetheart." You said, betrayal filling you, eyes filling with tears.

Without another word you took off down the adjoining hallway, Leonard taking off after you. You sped until you were in an abandoned hallway two floors down with him still following.

Your face got hot, embarasment taking hold. You didn't want to cry over a tiny little word.

His eyes widened, regret filling them when he saw how hurt you were. "Baby- " he stopped himself. He only called you baby when he was really concerned.

"No, no I'm sorry. It's okay, Carols great, she's a great person." You forced out, turning to try and walk away. He grabbed your arm spinning you back around. "I don't want Carol. I want you. I'm sorry." You blinked. "So your not ready to move on?" He shakes his head vehidamently. "It was stupid. So stupid. I've never done anything like that in my life. I wanted to make you jealous." It felt like all the air was sucked from your lungs.

"You still want me? After evrything-" he shakes his head. "My god woman, were you listening? Yes! I love you." He breaths, gently squeezing your bicep. "But I- I hurt you! I broke up with you without giving you a reason-" "I know, sweetheart." He says Your heart stopped.

"You know?"

"I know as much as I can guess. But why don't you tell me?" You took a shuddering breath.

"So you know I was on a different ship before this one."

"Yes."

"When I went onto that ship from the academy, I came with the captain. He made it so we'd make it onto the same ship, because we were..."

"together?"

You nodded. "We loved each other. He was my captain, and I was by his side as head of security and defense tactics." He nodded, fingers pressed against his lips as he listened. "One day, we were attacked by an enemy bregade, and crash landed us on a deserted planet. In order to save me, he threw himself in front the lazer that would have incinerated me and two other crew members. They would have killed all of us, all it did was incinerate him.

After he was killed the crew, furious overpowered them, and we survived, but..." You trailed off, before looking back to him. "How did you know?"

He sighed, as if debating telling you something. "As part of protocol, a captain must... gain permission from Starfleet to enter into marriage with another crew mate. His request form was entered just a few days before his death, with your name attached." You stilled, before another wave of emotion crashed over you. A sob escaped you, and you leaned against the wall for support, a hand coming up to try to muffle your cries.

Leonard watched you with glassy eyes, your pain like a twisting knife in his chest. He waited for a moment before slowly inching forward to wrap his arms around you, testing the waters. You pull him closer, wrapping your arms tightly around him, his warmth sinking into your cold body. "I'm sorry." He whispers into your neck. "I'm so sorry." You shake your head, pressing your face into his neck. His scent calmed you, and eventually your breathing slowed as his hands rubbed your back. "I love you." You said, his hands paused, and he untangled himself to look at you, hope in his eyes. "Really?" "Yes, I'm sorry I made such a mess. Do you want to try this again?" You ask. He let out a breathless chuckle before pressing his lips to your forehead. "Yes, God yes." You smile teary eyed, bittersweet joy filling you. You placed your hands on both sides of his face before giving him a slow melting kiss, thumbs stroking his face. "I just have to do something first." You say. His brows crease slightly, but he let's you go. "Okay.." He says uuncertainly

You smile. "I'll come and see you at dinner, okay?" "Yeah, I'll see you."

---------

You entered your quarters without turning on the light, blindly reaching for your padd. It glowed brightly in the darkness of your room, easily finding the picture of him you loved the most, him dashing in his captains uniform hat just a little bit crooked, every inch of him glowing from happiness. Hot thick tears leaked from your eyes as You gently placed your padd on the table in front of your window, his face materializing against the empty black abyss, somewhere where you knew his ashes were scattered, floating forever in the universe, amidst stardust and wonder.

"I love you." You whispered into the silence, looking at him. "Wherever you are, I hope you know that I love you. I hope you know that I'll never not love you... a good friend once told me, I can love you, and still let you go.... I know one day, thinking about you won't hurt so much, and the other feelings will fade, and I'll be only left with love. The way you loved me so fiercly and how i loved you. I'll never forget you i promise, how could I? Even when I'm dying I know you'll come back to me, when I'm old and tired. But there is this amazing man that I love that wants to love me, and I think I'm ready to be happy again. I know you'd want me to be." You looked back at his flickering image

"I hope we meet again. And So, Derek.... I love you, and I let you go. And I hope wherever you are, you feel peace, you feel safe...and I hope you know that I love you." You say, a feeling of weight being stripped off of you makes you feel lighter, and a strange peace settles over you, and somehow you know he hears you.

"I'll never forget you."

[fireinmywoods]

the heart of the matter (is Leonard McCoy)

Followers...friends. I come to you today, hat in hand, to ask for your support in a certain fandom matter, a trifling concern of little real consequence which nevertheless has been driving me absolutely cross-eyed bonkers for some years now.

Simply put: can we please all agree that Bones is the heart of the Enterprise???

In AOS, I mean. I’m not aware of any debate over this when it comes to TOS, where the roles of the triumvirate have always been explicit, though there are a few different ways to identify them:

Spock = logos = superego = head

Bones = pathos = id = heart

Kirk = ethos = ego = soul

So clear! So clean! So universally accepted by Trek fandom at large!

Oh, but things get murkier in AOS, and there are plenty of posts floating around which suggest that it’s Kirk, not McCoy, who serves as the heart in the Kelvin timeline. Even the writers of the first two AOS films have outright stated that their interpretation of the triumvirate had the original roles switched, with Kirk as the highly emotional one and McCoy as the arbiter between Kirk’s passion and Spock’s logic. It’s true that this technically counts as a Word of God pronouncement by the actual creators of 2/3 of the series thus far, which some would argue renders it canon. However, it’s equally true that those same creators also felt that Kirk was a fuckboi and that Benedict Cumberbatch wonderfully embodied their vision for Khan Noonien Singh, so honestly, who gives a hot hollerin’ fuck what those dingdongs think. This seems as justified a time as any to invoke Death of the Author, and in fact, it’s my firm belief that despite the writers’ intentions, Star Trek and Into Darkness both support the original triumvirate breakdown.

Under the cut you’ll find a long-winded and self-indulgent ~*~character analysis~*~ of the Kelvin-timeline incarnations of Jim Kirk and Leonard “Bones” McCoy, reviewing why Leonard is still unmistakably the heart, unpacking what the hell Jim’s deal is, and finally taking a look at some key examples from canon, because ya girl believes in showing her work.

Let’s get down to business.

[A quick warning, as this is starting to spread beyond my own followers: if you don’t like McKirk as a romantic pairing, you ain’t gonna like part IV, so I’d bow out before then or just take your leave now.]

i. Leonard

Independent of Jim’s characterization, it should be blindingly obvious that Leonard is the heart. He’s by far the most nakedly emotional of our seven core crew members, a trait we see writ large and small throughout the films. He’s reactive; he’s passionate; he’s humane. He cares, first and foremost.

Not about Starfleet, of course. Leonard doesn’t give a damn about playing the game or advancing his career, or even really about the Enterprise’s mission - he has no desire to explore strange new worlds, he’ll pass on seeking out new life and new civilizations, and he spends half his time trying to convince everyone else that boldly going where no man has gone before is a great way to die horribly. Fuck exploration, fuck space, and fuck the Federation while we’re at it. Leonard is perhaps the most improbable of the Enterprise’s senior officers for the simple reason that he seems to resent everything about the job.

Well. Almost everything.

See, what Leonard cares about is people. He cares about their lives, about their stories, about their hopes and dreams, about their suffering. That’s why he entered and has stayed in an extremely taxing caring profession, and it’s why he’s still on the Enterprise despite his incessant bitching about everything they do. He wouldn’t trust anyone else to take care of the crew he’s become so attached to, and he finds fulfillment in helping the people they encounter out there in the nightmare of space.

In every timeline, Leonard McCoy defines himself by what he can do for others: the pain he can ameliorate, the wounds he can heal, the diseases he can cure, the small amounts of good he can bring to a galaxy filled with so much absolute horseshit. Unlike most of his colleagues, he’s not motivated by curiosity or an adventurer’s spirit or a burning desire to make sense of the universe. (Fuck the universe, too, as a matter of fact.) Instead, he’s driven by the incredible depths of his compassion and empathy and concern for the people he serves alongside and those they meet along the way.

Sure sounds like the heart to me.

ii. Jim

I actually totally get why some people characterize Kelvin-timeline Jim as the heart. He’s quite literally a different man than the original timeline’s Kirk, and he definitely has more of the pathos qualities to him. Early on, he’s a total spitfire, fierce and hot-blooded, quick to anger and other sharp-edged emotions we’re not used to associating with James T. Kirk. Even as he grows into himself and leaves some of those traits behind, he remains spontaneous, passionate, protective, and self-sacrificing - easy enough to mistake for the heart if you squint.

But let’s not confuse having a heart for being the heart. Sure, Jim is more openly emotional and reactive than his TOS counterpart, but there’s still a marked difference between the way he and Leonard express and act on their emotions.

AOS Jim definitely has a lot of feelings - big ones - but at the end of the day, he’s not driven by his heart. He’s driven by his gut.

Whenever there’s trouble, Jim makes a beeline right for the center of it. He’s impulsive as hell, rarely pausing to think past his first instinct, because he just wants to be doing something, no matter the odds, no matter what it costs him. He explicitly calls himself out on this in ST:ID when arguing with Spock: “I have no idea what I’m supposed to do. I only know what I can do.” He doesn’t have the patience or the constitution to sit and debate all the options, either internally or with his crew. If there’s a path forward from where he is, even a bad one, Jim’s gonna take it.

[Sidebar: One could make the case that the roots of Jim’s instinct to act reach back to his childhood traumas - canonically ignored abuse and neglect on the one hand, and the Tarsus IV famine and massacre on the other - but that’s a whole post on its own and we ain’t got all day here.]

Jim can’t not act, and while that gets him into a lot of trouble, it also saves lives. Sulu probably appreciated that Jim’s gut drove him to leap off Nero’s drilling platform without a moment’s hesitation after a man he’d only just met. He may have been a real shithead about it, but Jim’s impassioned insistence on going after the Narada and not wasting time on the possibility of a better option was key to saving Pike and Earth itself. And I don’t know why Spock was so surprised that Jim intervened to save him on Nibiru, considering that the reason they were there in the first place was because Jim couldn’t sit back and watch the Nibirans die when there was something his crew could do to help them, even if it meant risking a violation of the Prime Directive.

Jim is a good man with a big heart, and he cares about people, absolutely. But he cares most of all about Doing The Right Thing - which in the heat of the moment often translates to Doing Something, Anything, Hold My Beer.

iii. heart vs. gut (i.e., time for some receipts)

I think one of the main reasons Leonard and Jim’s characterizations get confused is because they both tend to act on instinct, only lightly informed by higher reasoning. However, I’d argue that their motivations and the nature of those actions are super distinct, and those distinctions remain relatively consistent throughout all three films. (And y’all know I really mean this shit if I’m out here calling ST:ID consistent.)

Jim is a big picture guy, figuratively and often literally heaving himself full-body into the mix of whatever problem the crew has encountered for lack of any better alternative. That energy propels the plots of all three films: the chaotic path he carves through the events of Star Trek and ST:ID, and the slightly calmer but still undeniably bananas course he charts for himself and his crew in the second half of Beyond.

As the heart, Leonard operates on a more micro level. His concern invariably lies with the individual people caught up in those grand events Captain Chaos is busy dragging them all through. While Jim’s zooming around flipping plot switches, Leonard can always be counted on to bring it back to the personal.

We frequently see this juxtaposed right there on film. Think of that slow pan through medbay in the first movie after the Narada’s ambush and the destruction of Vulcan: while Jim is stewing over what to do about the Big Bad, Leonard has stepped into the CMO role without fuss or fanfare to care for the wounded crew and traumatized survivors.

Or jump ahead to Beyond: during Krall’s attack on the Enterprise, there’s a gorgeous cinematic shot of Jim sprinting down the corridor with two crew members to take on the invaders - and then we cut to Leonard moving slowly through those same ghastly red-lit corridors, searching for casualties in need of help, visibly affected by what his scanner is telling him about the downed crewman he tries to save.

Actually, Beyond as a whole does terrific justice to each of their roles. (Perhaps because it was not written by dingdongs.) The first act finds Jim flailing around for a sense of purpose and forward momentum - an understandable consequence of a gut-driven character having stalled out for too long - and he ultimately gets his mojo back by spending the rest of the film careening through one insane seat-of-his-pants ploy after another. Meanwhile, in the quieter moments between all the mayhem, Leonard serves as the empathetic sounding board for both Jim and Spock as they struggle with deep emotionally charged secrets and Big Life Questions, helping them untangle their feelings and reminding them of the emotional attachments which are ultimately key to their respective decisions to stay on the Enterprise.

More examples, you say? Don’t mind if I do!

Star Trek

GUT: Jim hurtles around the Narada, improvising almost every step of the way and paying the price for his and Spock’s scheme in bodily harm, and ultimately succeeds in rescuing Pike. HEART: Leonard calls out for Jim as he runs into the transporter room, overwhelmed with relief that he’s made it back, and takes Chris Pike’s weight literally and figuratively onto his own shoulders to begin healing him while Jim runs back off to the center of the action.

Star Trek: Into Darkness

GUT: Jim argues with Leonard, Spock, and Scotty in quick succession as he’s preparing to drag them all off to Qo’noS, immune to their attempts to reason with him because, unraveled as he is by grief and pain, he can only focus on his visceral drive to Do Something. HEART: Unlike the others, Leonard is upset not about the larger moral questions of whether it’s right to go after John Harrison or bring torpedoes aboard the ship, but about the fact that Jim himself is hurt and hurting and won’t accept help.

GUT: Jim makes a snap decision to sacrifice himself by hurling his body against the warp core to realign it and save his crew. HEART: Shellshocked by the emotional grenade of his best friend’s death, Leonard suddenly realizes, through the haze of his own numbness and upswelling grief, that he might still be able to do something for this lonely radiation-ravaged body he’s been brought and the life it represents.

Star Trek Beyond

GUT: At the tail end of an improvised plan to out-maneuver Kalara, Jim quite literally shoots first and asks questions later, igniting a fuel tank and setting off an explosive series of events which he and Chekov just barely escape. HEART: The next time we see Leonard, Spock is opening up to him about Ambassador Spock’s death and his own plan to leave Starfleet for New Vulcan - and while he’s empathetic toward Spock (I can’t imagine what that must feel like), Leonard’s thoughts go immediately to the emotional impact of Spock’s plan on the other people he’s closest with. (I can see how that would upset [Nyota]. / I can tell you, [Jim]’s not gonna like that.)

GUT: Jim frantically strains to reach the final switch in the life support hub, believing that he’s going to die either way since the vent has already opened, but spurred on by the knowledge that his ability to move that switch is the only thing standing between Yorktown and annihilation. HEART: Knowing exactly what’s at stake, with the fate of the station and millions of lives hanging in the balance, Leonard’s greatest concern is that Jim won’t make it out in time.

iv. never bet against the heart

Let’s wrap this up with a deep dive on one of the absolute best examples of Leonard as the heart: his decision to sneak Jim onto the Enterprise in the first movie.

As relentlessly as I drag him for the, you know, poisoning and kidnapping aspects of that whole deal, there’s no denying that it is a god-tier heart move. Is it logical? Absolutely not. Is it really the right thing to do for either himself or Jim, as far as he knows at the time? Nope. It’s 100% the wrong choice for his own job security, reputation, and relationships with his fellow crew, and it’s almost guaranteed to get Jim into even worse trouble. Leonard is a smart dude who must understand that this course of action will likely end up coming back on them both in a real bad way. For someone who argues loudly and often in defense of self-preservation, this is a shockingly bad idea.

But none of that matters, because Jim shakes his hand and tells him to be safe with that horrible empty-eyed smile, and it gets him right in the heart, one-two-three.

One: sympathy, worry, and affection for Jim - his best friend, his wild and troublesome stray, his only family.

Two: guilt over adding onto Jim’s pain, and the instinctive urge to fix whatever‘s hurting him.

Three: fear of heading out into the unknown by himself, the agonizing uncertainty of not knowing what’s coming, craving for the security and reassurance Jim’s presence would give him.

“Dammit,” Leonard says, as his heart wins out over his brain. He knows this is a garbage plan, and he doesn’t care. His heart chooses Jim. That’s all that matters.

So he goes back for Jim, and to his own surprise it turns out that this Very Bad Idea was actually a Very Good Idea because Jim’s impulsive instincts end up saving Earth, and Leonard’s not in the habit of fixing what ain’t broke so he figures he may as well keep on chasing Jim’s crazy ass around the galaxy for a while, through jungles and off cliffs and into the goddamn afterlife when need be, until finally one day Jim’s gut drives him right into Leonard’s arms and he suddenly realizes that this is what his heart was choosing all those years ago: Jim’s wide terrified eyes, Jim’s voice breaking over his name, Jim’s hand pressing hard against his chest, reaching out for what’s his.

But that’s another story.

[twentiethcenturymoviesandtv]

Star Trek: Facets of Filmmaking

As it turns out, before Star Trek was fully realized in the form we know today, the show was originally not going to be about Kirk and the Enterprise at all.  In fact, it was going to be about a ship called the S.S. Yorktown, captained by a man named Robert April, on a mission to explore the Milky Way galaxy.  The original concept, still named Star Trek and set in the 23rd century, was loosely based on the Horatio Hornblower novels, and took inspiration from The Voyage of the Space Beagle, the Marathon series and the 1956 film Forbidden Planet.

By the year 1964, when this idea began to take shape, Gene Roddenberry, creator of Star Trek was an experienced writer for western television shows, and was well accustomed to (at the time) television’s favorite and most popular genre.  By 1964, however, Roddenberry was tired of the shootouts, and wanted to do something different, something with a little more depth to it.

Still, Roddenberry knew what the executives, and the public, was used to.  As a result, the first draft of this new Star Trek idea was generalized as a sort of ‘Wagon Train to the Stars’, a formulaic type of show where every episode was a standalone adventure in the continuous exploration of the final frontier: space.

As Roddenberry wrote the draft, a few things changed.  Gone was Robert April, replaced by Captain Christopher Pike, who would be portrayed by Jefferey Hunter, and the rest of the crew.  The name of the ship changed too, to the more familiar Enterprise.  As these changes came about, so too did the true nature of Roddenberry’s dream show: both an adventure story, and a thought-provoking morality tale.

Armed with his script, Roddenberry brought Star Trek to Desilu Productions, (a rather large television production company headed and half-formed by Lucille Ball herself) and met with director of production Herbert F. Solow.  Solow saw promise in the concept, and signed a three-year development contract with Roddenberry.

Star Trek moved into the next stage of development.  Further drafts were drawn up and the idea that would later become the episode The Cage was revised, until it was shown to CBS as part of the ‘First Look’ deal with Desilu productions.  CBS wasn’t impressed with the show, declining to purchase it.  They had another ‘space show’ in development that seemed too similar, a show that would become Lost in Space.

However, another company became interested: NBC.  In May of 1964, Grant Tinker, the head of the West Coast programming department, commissioned the pilot that would become The Cage (which would later be reworked into the episode The Menagerie).  After it was completed, NBC turned it down, claiming that it was ‘too cerebral’, but although this was a mild defeat, Star Trek wasn’t beaten.  NBC still showed interest in the concept, and made the highly unusual decision to commission a second pilot: the episode that would become Where No Man Has Gone Before.

With this came quite a few changes.

Christopher Pike was scrapped as a character, as was the vast majority of other cast members.  Only the character of Spock, as portrayed by Leonard Nimoy, was kept, and of the other cast members, only Majel Barrett stayed, demoted from playing the second-in-command (scrapped due to the unthinkable notion of a woman Commander) to the ship’s nurse, Christine Chapel.  With this new pilot came an onslaught of new, more familiar names and faces: William Shatner as Captain Kirk, Chief Engineer Lieutenant Commander Scott played by James Doohan, and Lieutenant Sulu, (originally a physicist in the first episode, but a helmsman afterwards) played by George Takei.

This pilot passed with flying colors, and with that, NBC added Star Trek to their fall lineup for 1966.

Still, there were changes to be made.  In this first pilot, the ship’s doctor was Mark Piper, played by Paul Fix.  Dr. Leonard McCoy, played by DeForest Kelley, would join the cast when principal filming for the first season began.  Also joining the cast was Nichelle Nichols, playing Lieutenant Uhura, and Grace Lee Whitney as Yeoman Rand.  (Whitney would depart halfway through the first season, after being on the receiving end of sexual assault from one of the executives of the show, but would later appear in the film series beginning in the 1970s.)

Besides Where No Man Has Gone Before, NBC ordered 15 episodes to start off the show.  The first episode of Star Trek, The Man Trap, aired at 8:30 PM on Thursday, September 8th of 1966 as part of NBC’s ‘sneak preview’ time slot, received with mixed feelings.  While some papers and reviewers genuinely liked the new show, (such as The Philadelphia Inquirer and the San Francisco Chronicle) others, such as The Boston Globe and The New York Times didn’t.  Variety described the show as ‘an incredible and dreary mess of confusion and complexities’, and predicted that it would fail.

Fighting for position against reruns of previous shows, despite the critics’ warnings, Star Trek won a time slot, and began with decent ratings.  However, it didn’t last long.  By the end of the first season, Star Trek was sitting at 52nd out of 94 programs.

Star Trek was sinking, fast.

But even then, it wasn’t without its supporters.

The editor of Galaxy Science Fiction, Frederik Pohl, offered up his amazement that Star Trek’s consistency remained good, with no drop in quality after its Tricon winning early episodes.  He expressed his fear that the show would be cancelled due to its low ratings, and pleaded with audiences to help save Star Trek, writing letters to prevent its cancellation.

At this time, the only thing that was keeping the show on the air in the first place was the demographics it was reaching.  NBC had become interested in the demographics of the shows it was producing in the early 1960s, and by 1967, was using that as part of the decision making as to which shows got dropped.  

And something about Star Trek’s demographics interested NBC very much: it had managed to attract ‘quality’ audiences: high income, high educated people (primarily males).

As a result, NBC ordered ten more episodes for the first season, and ordered a second in March of 1967.  The network then changed Star Trek’s timeslot, moving it to 8:30 on Friday nights, a timeslot that seemed doomed for failure among the audience that Star Trek had gathered.

The next season, things didn’t seem to be getting any better.  It was at this point that the show added on Walter Koenig as Ensign Chekov (as George Takei was working on The Green Berets and was not as available for shooting), although some might have wondered why they would have bothered.  The show’s ratings were still dropping.  William Shatner, expecting the show to be cancelled, began to prepare for other projects.  

Again, the demographics saved the day.

Roddenberry’s initial concept of adventure alongside morality tales intrigued the audiences Star Trek had attracted.  The show had values, values that had to be applied to every situation.  The show was sincere, and serious in its exploration of issues like racism, war and peace, human rights, technology, class warfare, and imperialism, far different in tone and content than the other chief sci-fi show at the time: Lost in Space.  As a result, the show generated a more interested fanbase, perhaps the first true ‘fanbase’ of any franchise in history.  In the end, it was they who saved Star Trek.

By the end of the first season, NBC had received well over 29,000 fan letters.  During the second season, Roddenberry began a campaign to persuade fans to write in to NBC, to support the show and save the program.  Between December of 1967 and March of 1968, NCB had received nearly 116,000 letters from people who did not want to see Star Trek cancelled.  Science fiction conventions, magazines, and newspaper columnists encouraged readers to save what was called ‘the best science-fiction show on the air’.

The fans didn’t stop with letters.  Over 200 students of the California Institute of Technology marched to NBC’s studio in Burbank to protest the cancellation of Star Trek in January of 1968, carrying signs that said things like ‘Vulcan Power’.  They weren’t alone; other groups of students of MIT and Berkeley did the same thing in New York City and San Francisco.

Interestingly, the letters that NBC received were not of the typical ‘fan mail’ quality.

“Much of the mail came from doctors, scientists, teachers, and other professional people, and was for the most part literate–and written on good stationery. And if there is anything a network wants almost as much as a high Nielsen ratings, it is the prestige of a show that appeals to the upper middle class and high-brow audiences.” (Lowry, Cynthia (January 17, 1968). “One Network Goes ‘Unconventional’”. Nashua Telegraph. Associated Press. p. 13)

“The show, according to the 6,000 letters it draws a week (more than any other in television), is watched by scientists, museum curators, psychiatrists, doctors, university professors, and other highbrows. The Smithsonian Institution asked for a print of the show for its archives, the only show so honored.” (Scott, Vernon (February 7, 1968). “Letters Can Save 'Star Trek’”. The Press-Courier. Oxnard, California. United Press International. p. 17.)

After the episode The Omega Glory, on March 1st, 1968, the announcement came:

“And now an announcement of interest to all viewers of Star Trek. We are pleased to tell you that Star Trek will continue to be seen on NBC Television. We know you will be looking forward to seeing the weekly adventure in space on Star Trek.” (“Letters For 'Star Trek’ Hit 114,667”. The Modesto Bee. April 14, 1968. p. 26.)

If this was intended to stop the letter writing campaign, it was a dismal failure.  A comparable number of letters came in to NBC following this announcement, full of thanks for renewing the show for the third season.

In March of 1968, NBC moved Star Trek to another time slot: 10:00 PM on Fridays, an even worse shot than before.  To make matters worse, it was only being seen by 181 out of 210 of NBC’s affiliates.  Roddenberry fought the network to move it to a better time, but he was denied.  Exhausted, Roddenberry quit working on production of Star Trek, remaining executive producer in name only.  The running of the show went to Fred Freiberger, who was with the show as it stood on its last, shaky, legs.

And it was on its last legs.

Star Trek season three was a dying breath, the death-rattle of a show that was being intentionally destroyed by its own network.

To quote Nichelle Nichols:

“While NBC paid lip service to expanding Star Trek’s audience, it [now] slashed our production budget until it was actually 10% lower than it had been in our first season … This is why in the third season you saw fewer outdoor location shots, for example. Top writers, top guest stars, top anything you needed was harder to come by. Thus, Star Trek’s demise became a self-fulfilling prophecy. And I can assure you, that is exactly as it was meant to be.”

It showed.

While I hesitate to call season three of Star Trek a mess, it is difficult to deny that the show was definitely struggling.  Episodes dropped in quality, characters became more exaggerated and less ‘true’. Star Trek stopped filming in January of 1969, and after a total run of 79 episodes, the show  was cancelled.

As a newspaper columnist advised:

“You Star Trek fans have fought the “good fight,” but the show has been cancelled and there’s nothing to be done now.”

Rather incongruous with the image of the pop-culture giant we know it as today, wouldn’t you think?

So what happened?

As it turns out, Star Trek had enough episodes (thanks to the third season) to enter syndication.  Desilu Productions, which at that point had become Paramount, licensed the syndication rights in order to turn a profit, and reruns of Star Trek began airing in late 1969.

In syndication, Star Trek became a cult classic, finding a larger audience on reruns than it had during its original run.  The show, which was airing in the afternoons and early evenings, was attracting a young demographic, and, ironically, Star Trek became known as ‘the show that wouldn’t die’.  By 1970, Star Trek was boosting Paramount’s ratings, and becoming extremely popular.  In January of 1972, over 3,000 fans attended the first Star Trek convention in New York City, kicking off a previously unheard-of trend of organized fan gatherings where they could buy merchandise, meet cast and crew, and screen episodes of the show.  These people, coming to be known as ‘trekkies’, took pride in their knowledge and extreme love for this series, which was becoming renowned for being a smart, heartfelt science fiction show that had been cancelled too early.

17 years after Star Trek was cancelled and started reruns, Star Trek became the most popular syndicated show of all time.  By 1987, Paramount was bringing in $1 million per episode, and by 1994, reruns were still airing in over 90% of the United States of America.

The rest is history.

It has been over fifty years since Gene Roddenberry’s vision of a wagon train to the stars first took flight, and it was a hard battle fought to get as far as it did.  Never before had a show garnered the support and devoted love from a fanbase, never had it inspired such huge leaps and bounds in television and fandom alike.  Never had a television show meant so much to so many, and continued to do so well past its end.

For a show that struggled through a third season, it seems incredible that Star Trek still holds the weight that it does today.  The show that wouldn’t die gained new life beyond the grave, still capturing people’s attention decades after it was cancelled, growing to become one of the best known and best loved television shows ever made.

Against all odds, Star Trek lives on, remaining one of the greatest television shows of all time, for very good reason.

Join me for one last article as next time we take one last look at Star Trek in our Final Thoughts.  If you have any thoughts, questions, suggestions, recommendations, or just want to say hi, don’t forget to leave an ask!  Thank you all so much for reading, and I hope to see you in the next article.  

[caitlinsfandomthoughts]

Watching Star Trek TOS For the First Time! Season 1 Reaction

I’ve been a TNG, DS9 and Voyager fan for maybe 10 years but had never watched TOS until I decided that I would. And then I realised I couldn’t live with the possibility of the internet not being able to know my incoherent rambling reactions if it so desired. Most of these were written the day after I saw them but with the early ones it was later so sorry if I don’t remember your favourite.

Season 1:

The Cage: Be still my beating heart why must number 1 leave the show? Why?! Imagine a world in which Majel Barrett got to continue to be her in the Star Trek universe instead of Lwuxana (sorry I don’t love her) and Nurse Chapel. She’s so beautiful I love her. And she gets to where pants and be the second in command. While the episode for sure has sexist moments it does seem like there was more of an actual effort to present to future as having gender equality. When you compare this to the ultra mini skirted version of the actual show, it does feel like executives went through it to make it more marketable. It’s been noted by others that she is quite similar to what Spock’s character became: the cold, logical one, while Spock smiles in this episode. While I ended up loving Spock I still would’ve loved to see a woman in that kind of role, especially in the 60s. Although I’m not sure she would’ve been treated that well.

So Vina can’t like, get medical treatment from Starfleet doctors who know how to put a human body together? No? We’re just gonna leave her there? She’s too ugly? She’s better off living in a fantasy world where she’s pretty? Ok then…

The Man Trap: I don’t even really remember this one so I’d have to rewatch it.

Charlie X: Charlie sees women and becomes an incel, Kirk has to try and teach him not to be. This is a decent goal that somehow culminates in a space boxing match. Kirk loses his shirt. Sexual tension is presumably resolved. Uhura sings.

Where No Man Has Gone Before: The pants are back. Man becomes some kind of god and Kirk beats him up if I remember correctly.

The Naked Time: This is where The Naked Now comes from. This one was less sexual, which is probably a good thing, and less drunk, which is too bad cause I love drunk Crusher and Picard trying to focus on work while their brains won’t brain. Highly relatable mood. This one is where the immortal line “sorry, neither” comes from, spoken by Uhura in response to Sulu calling her a “fair maiden.” According to the internet that was an ad lib and I so hope that’s true cause it’s amazing. Also according to Spock Sulu is a “swashbuckler at heart” which is cool and all but I wish we got to find that out by him actually being a character that we know the personality of rather than a background diversity guy who gets to say a couple of lines sometimes. Also each to their own but shirtless Sulu is infinitely more attractive than shirtless Kirk.

The Enemy Within: Bad. Women at Warp podcast said it best, it’s bad because they say the evil Kirk is still Kirk and is needed for him to be a good captain/person. This could’ve been ok if he didn’t do something so irredeemable, or they could’ve not had him be defined as a true and necessary part of Kirk, but you can’t have both and sell it as an ok message. Rand not being able to look at ‘good’ Kirk after really makes it feel real, her acting in general makes it feel too real.

Mudd’s Women: Women take beauty pills that make them have makeup on and men find them too ugly to marry without them even though they are still beautiful. Also said women were kinda slaves but don’t worry about it! *hand waves*

What Are Little Girls Made Off: I don’t know what the title has to do with the episode. This is the episode where Nurse Chapel is introduced even though she was in a previous episode. And she’s taken more seriously than I thought she would be. Kirk gets an android version of himself made by a guy who he already doesn’t trust and doesn’t predict that maybe that’s not a good idea. Apparently to make an android all you need to do is put one person and one dummy on a giant plate and spin them around real fast. If only the guy who wanted to take apart Data in Measure of a Man knew.

Miri: Problematic. I think the crush angle could’ve worked if it was one sided, but Kirk played into it and it was creepy, and you know, also manipulative, assuming Kirk doesn’t actually feel the same way and is using it to get her to help them. That’s my more charitable interpretation anyway. Also McCoy doesn’t know how vaccines work. Also this episode doesn’t know what puberty is, or rather when it starts. If the virus is supposed to get to you then, that starts round the preteen age. Miri is older than that even though she’s not an adult.

Dagger of the Mind: This was the first one where I was starting to quite like it and it was feeling a little more like Star Trek to me (I know this is the first Star Trek but there’s a certain way 80s/90s era Star Trek feels to me). I really liked the beginning where it was setting up this whole maybe prisoners become violent because of how the prison treats them thing and that it was challenging the viewpoints of some of the main characters, although McCoy was already team prisons are bad and I love him for that. It then went more into the lobotomising asylum type story which was still ok. The guy turned out to be a doctor rather than a prisoner which I didn’t like cause I wanted the prisoners to be humanised. Although you could’ve done a “see anyone, even ‘innocent’ non criminals can be turned violent with this treatment” but they didn’t really emphasise that.

The Corbomite Maneuver: I don’t remember this. Kirk playing poker with some alien I think. Edit: I’m been informed this is the one where the alien turns out to be a lollypop guild kid lip-syncing to an adult’s voice, which I do remember, and probably thought it was some kind of sleep-deprived fever dream.

The Menagerie Part 1 & 2:  I laughed so much when they wheeled Pike out and I finally got the Futurama reference in Where No Fan Has Gone Before. I mean I obviously knew the whole thing was a Star Trek Reference, but I had never seen that specific imagery before and now the joke makes sense! Also Pike wanting to go back there seems kinda wrong. I mean they say he’s a vegetable mentally I think but he doesn’t seem to be? I can kinda get that he’s got more incentive to be there than Vina who could probably be helped by Federation doctors but also, he hated that place and spent the whole episode trying to get out of it and it doesn’t feel like a fitting ending for him.

The Conscious of the King: And here begins Star Trek’s love affair with Shakespeare. The only thing I have to say really is, if I didn’t mishear something… a father and daughter played Macbeth and Lady Macbeth? A married couple. And no-one thought that was weird? She was the daughter of a dictator though so there was an Ivanka Trump vibe.

Balance of Terror: Romulans. Spock wasn’t sure that they were related to Vulcans till this ep, though he suspected it. How far back did they split for it to be unknown? I like that the Romulans were sympathetic and we had scenes with them just in their ship from their perspective, and they had some conflicting views with each other. And I really like how Spock was suspected as a spy cause racism and of course he wasn’t and saved that guy cause he’s the better person. That said I found this episode pretty boring and I don’t know why. I kinda wish it turned into a witchhunt situation and was more about the racism on the Enterprise, kinda like The Drumhead from TNG.

Shore leave: Wtf was this episode?! And I don’t ask that because the white rabbit from Alice in Wonderland showed up, or that it was a random holodeck planet episode, that’s fine. When the White Rabbit appeared I was just like, ok it’s going to be one of those episodes, that’s fine. Holodeck episodes are fun, I don’t even mind a random magic alien or two appearing for no reason to wreak havoc, say by making everyone larp as Robin Hood, that’s all Star Trek, that’s Star Trek doing a Star Trek, what I didn’t like is this episode goes nowhere! McCoy sees the White Rabbit, we’re off to a good start, Sulu “Swashbuckler at Heart” sees an old gun that he geeks out on, cool. Kirk sees some woman of course. Also there’s some guy fending off a tiger. Random female guest star of the week rather than letting Uhura be part of the story gets her uniform torn by some guy. Then she imagines a princess dress and if that were me as soon as I realised I could think things into existence I would just imagine all my dream clothes. Kirk imagines an old student friend who is attempting very hard to be Irish (thank you Colm Meany for saving us from this).

Anyway so the planets a holodeck cool. And I’m like, Spock should beam down, I wanna know what he’ll see, this is where the episode could get interesting. And then it happens, but nothing happens, they don’t even make much of a deal of him not seeing anything. But then I thought what if! What if Spock didn’t beam down and this was another imagination?! What if he was some alien with some ulterior motive OR better than that we get to see Spock as imagined by whoever was thinking of him. You could go down a very fanfic road if it were Kirk’s imagined or desired view of him, or maybe you could show different people’s perceptions and then they still suspect he’s not acting like himself even though it’s how they see him, but its not quite right, cause it’s not actually how he is. Or at least I thought they were going to find out what was going on. But NOPE none of that happens. Instead leprechaun guy shows up again and Kirk just wonders off to fight him for the next fucking millennium! The uniforms they wore at the academy seem like they were made out of better quality material than that of a Starfleet captain’s. Poor Kirk must be having to replicate new uniforms every other day. Then they laugh I think, and sexual tension is presumably resolved. Then the aliens show up and are like yeah this planet is a holodeck we thought you’d like it also McCoy died but he didn’t and I’m like THEY DIDN’T CONSENT TO THIS. But then they decide to party.

It reminded me of a Red Dwarf episode called Better Than Life where they knowingly go into a virtual reality game which is basically the same as this planet. But over time Rimmer keeps sabotaging what he imagines cause he hates himself so much his brain won’t let him have nice things. And it’s still a comedy, but there’s an opportunity for exploring the character’s psyche with this setup that wasn’t done here and that made it boring.

The Galileo Seven: This episode was good!! In contrast to the last one it delivered on promises it made, it had a satisfying ending, it’s probably my favourite so far. The whole time I was like this should be about how Spock can be wrong and logic isn’t everything to be a good commander. But given the quality of the previous episodes wasn’t that great and Spock was always right about everything I didn’t trust them to do that. BUT I WAS WRONG. I thought it would be about how just because you don’t have emotions doesn’t mean you can disregard those of the crew. But instead it was about how he couldn’t predict their enemy wouldn’t act based on emotion rather than logic. And then he admitted he was wrong and helped the guy bury the other guy, and then they were about to die and McCoy was like at least I’ve lived to hear Spock say he fucked up. And then Spock jettisoned the fuel so that it might act like a flare but it gave them less time and I was like no you’ve learned nothing! Don’t just do things that severe without asking your crew. But then after they were saved it was described as an act of desperation rather than anything logical and Kirk was like that’s an emotion isn’t it? You acted on emotion? And Spock was like well yes but I’m not gonna say it like that.

I like that emotion was good actually. I think it’s a fine balance between the message of its ok to be different and using Spock as an analogy for racism, and inadvertently neurodiversity, but also not buying into the idea that emotions = weakness and lack of emotion, or emotional repression = objectivity. Even if you don’t factor emotion into your decisions (which would be impossible unless you don’t experience emotions at all) it doesn’t mean that you don’t have personal biases in your perspective. So I’m glad Spock was wrong for once.

The Squire of Gothos: This is Q this is Proto-Q. He does all the same things that Q does; he shows up in clothes that are way out of date (and he thinks they’re from 900 years ago when they’re clearly early 19th century) and he flirts with the captain. Oh and he has powers, maybe they were computer powers, but not all? And he goes on about humans being brutal, warmongering people but he’s kinda into it. He fights Kirk but there was actual tension so it wasn’t annoying like the one with the Irish guy. And then it turns out he was just a kid exactly like the Futurama episode, except he is a kid not 35. I think him being a kid makes the flirting seem weird though.

Arena: Kirk and the Gorn at Tanagra. Kirk fights a lizard because aliens wanted to encourage them to not fight by telling them to fight. I thought maybe these lizards could be proto Cardassians but then I thought they can’t be they don’t talk, but then he spoke so I thought they could be, but then he was the one who was invaded and was only defending his people so I thought they couldn’t be, unless that was actually just lies and justifications in which case they definitely would be, but then that would undermine the message of the episode so I guess not. I wonder how many leaders have killed each other before these alien’s negotiation tactic actually worked.

Tomorrow is Yesterday: This was fun. There were a lot of twists and turns. I wonder if it was before or after the moonlanding. Every plan just makes it worse and more and more people keep getting exposed to the future. Kirk could’ve easily just closed the door and beamed back at the end but instead opts to punch like six people. (I think this is where “a woman?” “Crewman.” Comes from).

Court Martial: What if Kirk actually did it though? Would that be more interesting? Maybe. At least here he has an age appropriate love interest. She’s prosecuting against him which is surely a conflict of interest. AND she has a uniform with a longer skirt! And it actually looks good, like it looks like an actual dress that she can sit down in and it still looks like a dress and not a crumpled up shirt. It’s elegant but it’s still short. I could see this being an option (for any gender) as a dress uniform but it would still make no sense when they’re serving on a ship.

Return of the Archons: I am LIVING for Spock in a medieval style hood. It’s giving me Peter Cook in a Mother Superior’s wimple in Bedazzled vibe, it’s not quite on that level of beauty, but it’s close. For some reason Sulu returned from the planet in 18th century gear but then everyone else is dressed like it’s the 19th century, with some medieval robes thrown in, and this annoys me more than it should. Maybe it’s because he’s a swashbuckler at heart. Apparently they had a completely peaceful society except for the nightly purge they seemed to have going on that is never mentioned again.

Space Seed: KHHANN! I liked this a lot until the end. I want to know the lore behind Data’s Dad having his middle and last name. Edit: Actually only the middle name is the same and the last name is just similar. I still think there’s lore there (excuse the pun), probably he’s a descendent of his cult followers or something. The story seemed to be eugenics bad and also the type of guy to basically be a eugenics cult leader would be super manipulative and abusive but just charming enough in a relationship. It does a pretty good job of showing the abuse in his relationship with the historian woman, how he switches between being loving and I guess charming, and flattering to being abusive and degrading. I wish that the historian woman could find someone that she can explore domination and submission with consensually cause that seems like it would be what she really wants. Anyway but in the end they just let him go? Like he tried to take over the ship but they were like here have a colony. They compared the place to Australia when the colonists arrived at Botany Bay and that it could be... I forget what the word was but basically ‘civilised’ and No NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO STOP RIGHT THERE NO Australia was already populated and didn’t need eugenicist cult leaders who were demonstrably bad to show up make it ‘better.’ AND THEN the historian is given the choice to go with them and she does and its framed like it’s good? Or at least ok? When they just did a pretty decent job of showing how abusive and manipulative he was and she had redeemed herself by turning against him? So I get that they probably wanted to bring him back although they’re probably not gonna bring her back, but they could’ve easily had him escape instead.

A Taste of Armageddon: Suicide machines. I forget the rest.

This Side of Paradise: SEX POLLEN! Well it’s more fall in love pollen, I guess, for one character. There’s a woman and there’s the music and the soft focus and BUT WAIT then the camera cuts to Spock not Kirk! Because she has taste. It’s about this point that I think the ‘Spock’s the most popular but Shatner wants to remain the star so we’ll emphasise their character’s relationship thus inadvertently inventing slash fic’ might’ve started. It’s time for a love triangle! She makes Spock get the sex pollen, which is not getting consent, and then he falls in love with her and is climbing trees and is all happy. Kirk can’t get a text back from Spock. Then Kirk and two others get the pollen except Kirk didn’t, but he did, but anyway I thought everyone would be horny but they weren’t they were just brainwashed. Soon Kirk is all alone on the bridge, then he gets the pollen and is happy to live as a poly triad but then he gets angry and it’s gone. Then he calls Spock to the ship and approaches the situation in the only way Kirk knows how: Homoerotic punching! So they fight for not long enough and then Spock is cured but he’s a little sad, there’s sadness in his voice, it’s not quite so matter of fact. Then Spock’s gf gets sad and the sex pollen is gone too, Spock might still have feelings for her but he has responsibilities to the ship and “to that man on the bridge” which if he was saying to just mean once again the whole ship, and its mission and the captain in a professional sense, seems a little redundant, which would surely be illogical.

The colonists get sad that they haven’t done anything for years because the sex pollen made them unambitious but I would argue maybe the sex pollen was right and you were better off just vibing. This episode was more interesting and less silly than I thought the creator of sex pollen would be. At the end Spock says that for the first time in his life he was happy. While every other character could still easily become addicted to a thing like that they could at least know they would experience happiness or any feelings again in their life, for Spock it was going back to nothingness.

Devil in the Dark: Spock calls Kirk Jim which I don’t think he has before, when he’s talking over the communicator and he’s worried he’s in danger, there’s some actual fear or urgency in his voice. Also the moment that got me was when Kirk wanted to send Spock back the ship cause he didn’t trust him to kill the creature and Spock was like “but… I’m not really as useful there I am here… so…” If I was writing it I would’ve played that up more but anyway, I like that they didn’t kill the creature. I like that McCoy said the thing. And also said “I’m starting to think I can cure a rainy day.” He’s my favourite.

Errand of Mercy: It’s kinda becoming the Kirk Spock show now, I like the ship but I miss McCoy. I like that the passive pacifists who Kirk was so angry with were actually more powerful. And KLINGONS! Oh yeah the orientalism, the yellow peril, it’s… it’s there all right. They were played a lot colder here, a little Cardassian maybe, still bloodthirsty but I don’t believe this guy has to do it himself to feel honourable, he can kill for sure but he’s fine ordering someone else to do it and being a chessmaster too.

The Alternative Factor: God this one was boring. But it does have a man with the worst beard wig I’ve ever seen. Now he’s stuck fighting the bad version of himself or something to save the universe. So remember that when you’re watching later Trek series, all of this could suddenly be destroyed if one of them gets tired.

The City on the Edge of Forever: UHURA GETS TO GO ON AN AWAY MISSION! Aaaand she doesn’t get to do anything :/ The usual three go back in time! To the 60s again! Oh wait… that’s meant to be the 30s? Oh. That’s some tall hair that lady has for the 30s. But at least said lady is a character, she’s a little perfect but she does things, she has strong beliefs, she might be written a little idealised, but she is still written like a person compared to almost every other Kirk love interest. “He says it (captain) even when he doesn’t say it” is an interesting line. So she has to die, I still think they could’ve just convinced her that you don’t make friends with fascists but ok. They never say what the Clark Gable movie is.

Operation Annihilate! Kirk’s brother dies, and so does his sister in law, leaving his nephew without parents. This is never resolved and the episode ends with them laughing about how Spock got his eyesight back.

[kinetic-elaboration]

February 13: Star Trek Beyond

Some attempted thoughts on Star Trek Beyond.

So first it was bad lol. It is the worst. I thought maybe it would be less the worst than I had previously thought but it really, really is just irredeemably bad.

Trying to keep up with what was actually happening and talk in the group chat was too difficult and I now feel very exhausted lol. And I’m not even sure what I watched.

I liked Jaylah a lot, including her back story, characterization, “house,” traps, and cool mirror tricks.

I also like Kirk in that emergency uniform with the jacket unzipped.

That’s it! That’s all I liked.

In the past I’ve also said I liked the Spock and Bones parts but I honestly wasn’t a fan of them either this time around!

None of the characters felt IC and none of the relationships felt true or were compelling. Which is particularly egregious given that the alleged theme was strength in unity.

The movie was especially lacking in K/S content or even K & S interaction, which obviously didn’t please me. And it’s definitely the worst Kirk characterization I’ve ever seen. There’s no excuse for that either because it’s halfway through the 5YM, which means he should be pretty close to TOS Kirk--yes, he has a different set of experiences, so there’s going to be some variation, but there’s comparatively less excuse for a radically different characterization than in STXI and STID. They should have had Shatner read the script and make notes lol because whatever else you might say about him he KNOWS Captain Kirk.

Like, he (Kirk) lacked humor and charm and, often, confidence. He had moments when he was very smart and moments when he had a commanding presence. But he had just as many moments when he was whiny or bored and his Captain’s log??? I deserve financial compensation for every time I’ve listened to that. Bored of space?? No, this man is bored when he’s stuck on Earth. He stagnates in desk jobs. He is an adventurer and explorer before he’s ANYTHING else; if you don’t get that, you don’t need to be writing Star Trek.

Also, as I have frequently complained, I’m tired of him having no internal conflict or emotional complexity past his father issues. First reboot movie: dealing with his dead father’s memory and his step-father’s abuse. Fine, that makes sense for how they set up the AU. Second reboot movie: entirely motivated by the need for Manly Vengeance upon the person who killed his father figure. And for this redundant story line (in many sense) we had to lose Pike? Third reboot movie: you’d think he’d finally be ready to move on to other conflicts but actually no this time he’s sad about his birthday and having a longer life span than his...you guessed it!! father!! Yet again.

What else has ever motivated him? Legitimate question.

The destruction of the Enterprise was truly horrific. Long, boring, unwarranted, and without any emotional punch. As if it were just any ship! No, she’s a character in her own right and she’s not to be sacrificed like that but please tell me again how Simon Pegg is a true fan who brought the franchise back to its roots?

B said he did like that they split up the crew into unusual units but I have mixed feelings about it. I don’t entirely disagree, but I don’t think they did a lot that was interesting with any of those separated units. Uhura and Sulu are a cool pair (but this would have been a good opportunity to include Sulu’s semi-canonical crush on Uhura but whatever... a different rant) and they almost did some interesting stuff with them. There were glimmers of a caper in that story line and times when I could tell they were straining especially hard to make Uhura, their Sole Female Main--now that they cut out Rand, Chapel, and even Carol Marcus--into something Feminist and Interesting. But it didn’t quite gel for me. Like, Uhura would be having almost interesting dialogue with the villain and holding her own...and then she loses track of her colleague and has to watch that person die, thus undercutting everything she just said about unity and seeming to prove the villain’s point. Is she competent or not?

Bones and Spock are a pair I care about and like but again I think their canonical relationship in TOS is more interesting than STB showed. I personally read them as like...reluctant best friends who originally just had one person in common, and then realized they also like each other too, but they’ll never really say it. They understand each other but pretend not to. They have fun with the barbs they throw at each other. They both deeply love Jim but in different ways. They enjoy their intellectual debates. (That’s one thing that was definitely missing from them here! The intellectual debates!) So again, there was something there but not enough.

And Kirk and Chekov just happened to land near each other; nothing was done with that relationship per se. They really aren’t people who have much of a relationship in TOS so there’s not a lot to work off of but then on the other hand there IS an opportunity to create something new. Maybe I’m being too harsh and too vague but it just didn’t gel for me. The only specific K and C moment I remember was that supremely un-funny joke about Kirk’s aim as he sets off the “wery large bomb.”

But like there are possibilities.. they’re both pretty horny and Chekov is a whiz kid and Kirk is also very smart and has always been smart... Like in other words people Chekov’s age don’t end up on the bridge crew, in either ‘verse, without the Captain’s say, so even though he’s TOS!Spock’s and AOS!Scotty’s protege, Kirk is important to his life. Something with that maybe??

I’m upset that Spock’s individual story line was about whether or not he should go off and make baby Vulcans because, again as I have complained many times before, that was a conflict he faced and resolved in ten minutes two movies ago, and it doesn’t make sense to me for him to bring it up again now just because the Ambassador is dead. Like... the Ambassador told him to stay in Starfleet!! “Ah, yes, I will honor him by doing precisely the opposite of what he wanted me to do.”

Also--if they had made his motivation different or gone into it more, I would have been more into it. Make it about New Vulcan! Say there’s news from New Vulcan that it’s not doing well. Or what if T’Pring got in contact with him? Or what if we used this as an excuse to bring in Sarek?

This is part of a larger point for me which is that STXI set up a really cool AU and STID tried to do something with it--a little hit or miss, but it tried--and instead of pushing even more at the AU and developing it more and doing more with it... STB just ignored it! Was that part of what Paramount was warning about with making it “not too Star Trek-y?” Was it SUPPOSED to be a movie you could watch without having seen the last two? If so they did succeed but like.. .why? They made the supremely ballsy move of blowing up a founding Federation planet two movies ago and now they’ve just forgotten about that and all the reverberations that would necessarily have?

But of course we got a call back to Kirk being a Beastie Boys fan so.... Guess it was Deep all along.

We all three agreed that the core story of this film was potentially interesting but could have been done as a 50-some minute episode of a TV series rather than a whole-ass 2 hour movie. First off, cutting or cutting down the action sequences would have shaved off half an hour easily.

I’m frustrated in large part because there are certain things that are interesting here. I do like the concept of the crew being pulled on to an alien planet by a ship of former Federation crew, from the early days of the Federation/deep space flight, who were presumed missing but are somehow still alive because they have turned into aliens/used alien tech to prolong life, and who have also captured other aliens, like Jaylah, for the main crew to interact with. All of that was cool.

I would even be okay with these old Federation crew being villains but I don’t think that’s necessary or even the most interesting take.

But...first of all, as my mom pointed out, Krall was basically Nero in his illogical motivations: feeling aggrieved because someone who couldn’t help him didn’t help him and then just maniacally wanting revenge. It made more sense to me with Nero in a way. Maybe that was because he was better characterized, maybe it was because his anger was more personal (the loss of his wife), maybe--probably--it was because he was angry at Spock and Spock had actually promised to help, so there was some kernel of logic in his sense of betrayal, even if it was out of proportion etc. Also, Nero’s mania was portrayed as mania--we were all supposed to recognize that the strength of his emotion was warranted but his logic was deeply flawed. I think we were supposed to think Krall had some kinda... real criticism of the Federation, but in fact he doesn’t! He’s wrong! So like if he’d been angry with the Federation for abandoning him but the narrative and the other characters explicitly recognize that he’s wrong--the Federation tried but he was just doing something very dangerous and he recognized that danger on signing on--that might have been more palatable to me.

I’m not sure I’m making sense here entirely or explaining myself as well as I could.

I just don’t entirely get Krall’s beef with the Federation. I don’t get that whole “being a soldier and having conflict makes you strong and having people you can rely on and connections and community makes you weak.” That seems pretty obviously false. It also doesn’t really seem, not that I’m an expert, but particularly in line with military ethos either.

BUT the idea that he had a life that was comfortable to him as a soldier and then the Federation comes in and forms Starfleet and says, actually, we’re going to pull back on the soldiering and up the diplomacy and the exploration and the science--yeah, I could see that. I DO think Starfleet is military but even if you must insist it’s not, it’s clearly based on and formed from the military, and it has certain military functions. So obviously the first people to join or be folded into Starfleet probably were more explicitly military.

So he’s one of those people. Now he’s supposed to be a scientist and a diplomat and an explorer and he doesn’t like that. He’s given this very prestigious and interesting mission and jumps at it. Starfleet warns him, you might go beyond where we can reach, we might not be able to help you. That’s fine. But then when his ship is stranded and he is lost, he gets angry--maybe somewhat irrationally, but understandably--why?? Why did the Federation do this to him? What was even the point? When he put himself in danger before, at least he knew why. But just flying around space for the hell of it, and this is the cost? So that’s what creates his anger.

I thin this could be tied into Kirk’s diplomacy at the beginning--if the scene were written to not be a comedy bit where Kirk looks like an incompetent buffoon and is completely disrespectful the whole time. He’s good at this job and we should say it. But we could emphasize that this IS a diplomatic mission often, just as often as it’s a military or scientific mission. Maybe we could include other bits of their missions, too, to play up the variety of things they do and roles they play.

Another thing I think could be interesting, going back to my point about Spock, Vulcan, and using the first two movies and expanding on the world building... what if Spock wanted to leave Starfleet for better, more well-defined reasons, and we used that? Paralleled the two? Connected the two?

Because I think Vulcan in the AOS verse is very interesting and the movies didn’t do nearly enough with it. First, we have the Romulans showing up way earlier, at least visibly: in TOS, no one knew what they looked like or their connection to Vulcans until Spock is in his late 30s. In AOS, it happens not long after he’s born. So he’s growing up probably with more anti-Vulcan racism floating around the Federation. THEN Vulcan is destroyed. Now it has nothing and it needs to rely on the rest of the Federation, which must be both humbling and frustrating to many Vulcans, on top of the extreme tragedy of losing everything. Most of their population, a lot of their history, their manufacturing, their scientific facilities, their resources, their animals, literally whatever else you can think of that a planet has--all gone. Now all of the survivors have lived some period on an alien planet, by definition, and they’re probably very dependent on the Federation not just to set up the new colony, but to replace all of the resources--natural and Vulcan-made--that they lost. And they’re a founding Federation member, Earth’s first contact. They’re especially important. And now they’re weak, and reliant on others.

So maybe Spock, early on, hears from New Vulcan and they’re not doing well. Maybe we hear from Sarek or T’Pring (...I’d just like to see reboot T’Pring). Maybe it’s not about, or just about, having children, but about being from an important and ancient family, and being seen as a hero for his part in the Narada mission, that makes him want to go and help rebuild their government (taking his mother’s place perhaps? she was on the High Council) or their scientific facilities, or the VSA, or their space travel capabilities--you know Vulcan had space ships of their own, outside of Federation ships. This would be the perfect place to showcase that tension between wanting to be independent--out of pride, out of fear, even--and needing help, because Vulcan could not survive without the Federation, probably less than 10 years out from the original planet’s destruction.

And then you feed it back into Krall.

So I could see like... well the tension, and then Krall comes in, and he's angry that the Federation "abandoned" him, but we actually explicitly address this. Maybe Spock gets to interact with him and say "I get it. You had a life and a mission and a purpose that was comfortable for you. Then the Federation came in and changed everything. A lot of my people are also feeling upset for similar reasons. But here's why actually you're wrong."

So anyway as you can see I’m smarter and more interesting than Simon Pegg.

I also hated, speaking of writers of this movie, the gay Sulu thing and HEAR ME OUT on this. It’s homophobic. His husband doesn’t have a name? Might not be his husband at all? Looks like he could be his nanny or his brother? As B said “at least grab his butt or something.” That was the most sanitized, no-homo depiction of a gay person I’ve ever seen. He’s gay (see, progressives and queers! gay! you like that right!) but DON’T WORRY STRAIGHTS--he’s in a monogamous relationship and has a child, he’ll show nothing but the most platonic physical affection with his male significant other, and the plot point will be so minuscule you’ll need a microscope to detect it. Also, we’ll throw in a no homo joke about two male characters not wanting to hug and we’ll make sure Kirk and Spock interact as little as possible, because we know they give off Big Queer Vibes every time they’re together.

Yes the last point is a little unfair but can you blame me for being angry about all the “look how hip to the times we are” back-patting that went on in 2016 when canonical bisexual Kirk is RIGHT THERE and we could have had ex-boyfriend Gary Mitchell instead of Unnamed Nanny??

Also Sulu is a hella random choice because again, like... he may not have had an s.o. in TOS but nor was there any indication he was gay. So it seems a LITTLE like they picked him because (1) his original actor is gay and gay people can’t play straight people duh so probably Sulu was Gay All Along I mean did you not get vibes???; and/or (2) asexual Asian stereotypes preclude giving Sulu any kind of love interest, male or female, that is actually... sexual, outright romantic, anything.

Anyway I can’t remember if I had any other thoughts, but I’ve said quite enough I think.

I miss Kirk so much... real Kirk... even my version of AOS Kirk who is probably not even characterized that well but at least I worked with love!!!

[space-helen]

Intrude

Words: 1083

Pairing: Spock x reader

A/N: Ngl I had a lil trouble getting my idea across but I think we got there in the end? I hope I did the request justice! 

Request: Hi! Sorry for another request... Could you maybe do a Spock (Disco) x plus size reader? Maybe the Spock is smitten with the reader who but much like him she gets left behind by the Discovery. It could be about them bonding on the Enterprise and the reader not quite fitting in. Idk, angst but also fluffy. Could also work with Chris Pike. Thanks! Hope your day has been good! - @morganofthecoves1​

___________________

"Lieutenant Y/L/N you need to get to the transport room asap if you want to get back onto the Discovery, you have less than 2 minutes."  Captain Pikes voice come across the shipwide comms.

You froze for a second before getting back to the task at hand. You crouched down and slung the young Ensign's arm around your shoulders and put an arm around his waist "C'mon, up you get"  he clutched your uniform shirt and allowed him to help you up

"You need to leave." He wheezed from next to you, clutching his middle with his free arm.

"No. What I need to do is get you to medbay, it's not far" you guided and supported him while you walked.

"You won't make it I'm fine. I can walk the rest of the way."

You laughed "I'd like so see you try. Look we're nearly there just a couple more steps" 

Upon making it through the medbay doors some nurses took him off of you before asking if you were ok. Nodding you left the medbay and froze in the corridor, it'd definitely been over two minutes, before you knew it your legs had taken you to the bridge where the Captain gave you an astonished look before turning back to the screen.

The Discovery, your home, disappeared before your eyes. Tears rushed forward as the Captain and other bridge members worriedly looked at you. You turned on your heels fast and only let the streams of tears run after you got into the corridor. Sliding down the wall and sobbing. 

It'd been three days since the Discovery left and it'd all gone by in a blur, Number One had found you in the corridor and quickly got you quarters on the ship and sat with you for a while before leaving. Since then you'd barely moved from your bed, a continuous cycle of crying and sleeping happening. Trying to will yourself to socialise or watch a film but you couldn't bring yourself to it. But today was the day you were going to try and socialise.

Spock sat up more as he saw you walk into the mess hall, his eyes followed your body in concern, the two of you had been getting to know each other on the Discovery and to say he didn’t care about you would be a lie, he was intrigued by you and could also in a very small way share your pain. You looked sunken and pale and ignored everyone as you moved. Grabbing a small tray of food you kept your head down, peering up only briefly before heading towards the exit. Spock stood and was over to you in a mere second, gently grasping your wrist. “Y/n” you stopped “May I walk you back?”

You nodded your head and let him walk with you, staying silent the whole way, wanting to speak but also not having the energy. Getting to your quarters you let the man in in front of you before admitting yourself. You sat down with the food you picked up and slowly nibbled away at it, Spock sitting in silence next to you, his back straight and hands resting on his knees.

You felt an overwhelming sense of sadness wash over you, "Spock" your voice cracked "please can you leave"

"Are you certain you'd like to be alone right now? I may be able to help you"

A tear ran down your cheek "no one needs to see me cry, please-"

"I agree, no one needs to see you cry. Therefore let me help you not cry by cheering you up."

A wet spluttery laugh left your mouth before sobbing more "I miss them so much, I miss my home. I'm scared Spock" 

Your raw and human display of emotion cracked Spock's heart and before he knew it his hand was on your back, he didn't relax it but you still found it comforting. You cried your heart out and Spock listened, knowing you needed to get it out and adding his thoughts on the matter intermittently, he stayed with you long into the night until you fell asleep. 

It'd been a month since the Discovery incident and you'd recovered as well as you could have, still crying some nights but that was natural. 

You and Spock walked side by side in the corridor on your way to the bridge, it was your firstday of officially working for the Enterprise.

Spock showed admiration in his eyes when he looked at you, he really appreciated your company and knew he was lucky to have you as a friend. But he also knew you thought the same about him.

You hesitated before stopping just short of the bridge, grabbing Spock’s wrist as he passed you. He turned and his eyes instantly met yours, shiny with moisture.

“What if I don’t fit in?”

“I’m certain you will.”

“I feel like I’m intruding on the ship. I know Starfleet is one big family but each ship is also a family and I don’t want to intrude.”

He stepped closer to you and put a hand on your shoulder. “You’d never be intruding here, many people on this ship fully support you and do also like you.”

“Who Spock? I’ve only spoken to like 3 of the crew, you, Una and Pike.”

“Everyone thinks you’re incredibly brave for staying behind, and helping the crew member even though it meant losing your home. I for one admire that. I admire you.”

You were speechless at what the man had just said, frozen in time for a second. He turned and continued towards the bridge. “Spock.” you called to stop him. Turning he clasped his hands behind him and raised an eyebrow. “I admire you too, it must have been just as hard for you as well, I’m sorry for not considering it sooner. Thank you.”

A small smile pulled at the corner of his mouth in appreciation “Thank you, we can discuss things further later but we have a job to do.” he gestured towards the door to the bridge.

“Ready to show off your new hair?” 

He nodded and allowed you through the door first, lingering behind to allow you your proper welcome to the bridge. You were greeted warmly by the Captain and some other crew members as you made your way to your new station. Yes it felt foreign now, but the Enterprise would soon become home.

Tag list: (open)

Spock:

@endlesssummerfun​ @cynthianokamaria @nuclearwessel @nikkzwrites

Spock and Pike:

@allthetrek​ @mrscasnovak​ @carietrekkie​

All ST Disco and AOS:

@spaskaalekha @wallows-spring​

All st

@morganofthecoves1​ @sophiaescapes

[calliecat93]

Star Trek TOS Liveblog: S1E1 - The Cage (Original Pilot)

I didn’t watch this one during the first watchthrough since I assumed it wans’t canon... then. Got to The Menagerie. Oops. But that episode also used a good amount of the pilot’s footage, so I still didn’t feel the need to go and do it. But now with a second watchthrough underway and since Strange New Worlds is filming... well, why not do it now?

It’s Young Spock XD

Nice sweater uniforms.

Gosh Nimoy’s portrayal of Spock is so...different than in series. Obviously they hadn’t figured the character out at this point which is why, but still.

You can see the basis for Kirk and Bones’ relationship was already in existent with Pike and Boyce, except without the strong chemistry with Shatner and Kelley that made it work.

Oh hey paper still exists. Did they ever use that in TOS?

The bridge looks so much... duller. Splash some blue on it at least!

Shiiiiiny liiiiights~

Ah good, the blatant sexism existed even in this! At least the ladies were allowed to wear pants in this one and Number One’s look when Pike talked XD

Wouldn’t it make more sense to leave the Captain on board as the most experienced officer and send the First Officer to lead the landing party? Oh right, woman... and TBF when did Kirk ever do that? Guess by Picard’s time protocols got changed.

...yeah you know they hadn’t figured Spock out yet when he’s openly expressing emotions/smiling. Then again this is young Spock, maybe he hadn’t mastered the control yet.

Ah yes, I’m starting to recognize the sections shown in The Menagerie.

Pike is kind of.. boring. TBF Kirk could have easily ended up this dull if not for Spock and McCoy helping balance it out and Shatner being... Shatner. The bit I’ve seen of Pike in recent material seem good though, so I’m rooting for Anson Mount to make Pike his own~!

Yep, being easily romanced/suckered by women and their love lives in general sucking has GOT to be a pre-requisite to be a Starfleet Captain. That’s my headcanon now and I can’t be proven otherwise~!

Spock’s haircut in this is so cute to me for some reason and IDK why.

While the bridge and the planet look kind of dull, the weird lab are actually looks pretty cool~

Does anyone else think that the Talosians kind of look like the Vians? Are they sister species like the Vulcans and Romulans are? They DID both kidnap humans for experimentation so... hmm...

Number One is freakin’ great. it’s a bummer that they had to drop her cause NBC was against a female in charge and/or forced Roddenberry to pick between her and Spock. But hey Majel Barrett got to be Chapel and SNW is going to give Number One the limelight she deserves~!

Guess now I know where some of the ideas for Shore Leave came from. They even got the princess part down. Pike, if the guy draws a lance, DON’T STAND THERE! RUN FOR IT! SERIOUSLY, IT’LL HURT!

Yeah, they absolutely borrowed from this when they did Shore Leave. Just for wacky hijinks instead of human experimentation.

I was gonna ask why they never bothered using the giant laser again in TOS... but it failed so I guess that’s why. Dang it, giant lasers would have made it better!

Yeah, keep your specimens happy and get the girl a mate... and forcibly imprison others at your guys mercy. This is NOT how matchmaking works guys!

Pony~!

Oh, the Green Alien Girl bit... forgot about that...

Lady, I’m sure that the 23rd Century Medics can help you and your physical condition. There are better options than living in a delusion like this...

And now that I’ve seen the pilot in full... Spock, I love you... but wHY DID YOU DECIDE TO HAVE PIKE PLACED HERE OF ALL PLACES ALL THOSE YEARS LATER?!

Well... that was a thing. I can see the pieces that would make TOS... but yeah it needed work. A LOT of work. But I’m glad that I watched it and I’m very interested to see how SNW is going to handle things.

[pendragonfics]

Set It Up

Paring: Leonard McCoy/Reader

Tags: gender-neutral reader, no pronouns, Starfleet Academy era, Starfleet, post-Star Trek (2009), co-workers, mutual pining, requited unrequited love, medical professionals, emotionally hurt Leonard "Bones" McCoy, whump, hurt/comfort, eventual fluff

Summary: You've known (of) Doctor McCoy since the Academy, but keeping to professionalism, you keep those feelings to yourself. Captain Kirk, tired of seeing two idiots dancing around their feelings, intervenes.

Word Count: 3,318

Current Date: 2019-12-22

Requested By: @karasong​

It was years ago, the first time you ever saw him. You were sitting in the group study area of the Starfleet San Francisco student library. It was your fourth year, and the semester was almost over. But exams were yet to come. You, having organised the study group for your fellow fourth-year medicine students, sat idly as they brainstormed on what you had already learned, and memorised.

While they discussed non-human anatomical diagrams, you were people watching, idly. Your eyes grazed throughout the bottom floor of the study area until you caught sight of him. Dark hair, eyes, and the look on his face drew your attention. Frown lines, and unused but etched out smile-lines beside his eyes.

Just as you began to ponder further, your friend Christine walked and gently smacked you with the underside of her thick textbook.

“Ouch, what was that for?” You whispered, cursing a string of words. Hushed of course for the library’s volume limit. You weren't an animal.

“Oh, it won’t leave a mark, don’t be such a baby.” She admonished you, perching in the empty seat to your left. "That’s what you get for gawking at boys when you’re supposed to be studying.”

“__________’s actually running the group,” a member of the study circle piped up to your defence. “Did you know they already like, memorised the xenobiology textbook back to front?”

Christine chuckled. “Yeah, so have I, but I’m not staring at James Kirk like a brain-dead bug.” She nudged you gently, and added, “no offence but I’m just saying, you could do better...and you know, not on study time.”

"I was not-," you protest, rubbing the back of your head. "Is this because of second year?"

"He's like that with everyone," another member of your study group spoke up, softly. "Don't take it personally."

You didn’t have the guts to correct them, nor stir the pot at the mention of Christine's one-sided romance-slash-one-night-stand with Cadet Kirk. Unlike many of the people in Starfleet academy, you were not interested in James T. Kirk in that way. Sure, he had the manners of a country boy, but he also slept with anything that had legs, and the ability to consent.

So not your type.

No; you were not looking at James Kirk, the golden boy with hair that matched the sun. You were looking at his closest friend, the gruff man with inky midnight hair. His friend, a mystery to you.

---

Captain James Tiberius Kirk was not a laid-back man for simple reasons. Sure, he had the stress of organising safe passage for over two thousand people at a time and orchestrated the wills of Starfleet for their mission. On top of that, he had the problems of a regular man, be that in family, money, love and friends. He rarely saw his half-family back on Earth, and money wasn't a problem when he was paid the generous salary of a captain. Sex came as it did, mostly not so often while he was commandeering the Enterprise.

That was what shore leave was for.

But as a good friend, Jim Kirk was not one to fool around on the clock (too much). Scotty had Keenser, Spock had Uhura, and while he didn't have any long-term interests in settling down, he knew that his friend Bones surely did.

The poor bastard had been divorced and stripped of all he had before they met, and then with everything else that came with the job of being CMO on the ship, he had the gall to stay being a year-long Grinch. Jim's mind had been set since Bones' reaction to the second one night stand that he'd had back as a cadet. But now it was a thing: by the time that mandated shore leave came to an end, he would have Bones with someone.

---

His reputation, while not as prolific as some of the faces that he kept as company, still preceded him. At first, you only knew him as the ‘gruff man that flanked Captain Kirk's side’, but as time went on, you learned his name.

Doctor Leonard McCoy.

If it wasn't for the fact that you were transferred by Admiral Pike, you perhaps wouldn't have had the opportunity to be on the same starship as each other. Let alone working beneath him as Nurse.  But still, it was an honour, and whenever your paths crossed, you kept your professional face forward. No matter what, you would keep to your oath as a healer, and those feelings would come second.

While in the Medbay, he was curt, quick to the jump, and a furiously good worker. Not that you believed that Captain Kirk was one to get into trouble - he was - or that he often endangered the crew with those actions - anyplace was dangerous, and it was a fact - but it seemed that the work in the Medbay was never finished. There was always an engineer with a pinched nerve, a scientist with an adverse reaction to alien flora, and because of this, the immersion into your work was both a blessing and a curse.

Maybe because the closer you came to your superior, that crush from years ago would flare up, and you’d have to work extra hard to keep your work ethic up. It didn’t help that half the time that you and Doctor McCoy were on shift together, he was doubly grumpy, and you’d have to circumnavigate that as well as your own feelings.

But that was fine. You were a professional. Keeping your feelings to yourself in order to keep to Starfleet code was easily done. It wasn’t like you were denying yourself anything - if anything, your needs were still there. Waiting. On the back burner.

That was fine. Everything was fine.

---

In time, you were alerted, like the rest of the crew, that the USS Enterprise was to approach a Federation planet for among other things, structural maintenance, restocking, and such. It also meant that everyone working on the Enterprise would get time to themselves while docked. It was your first ever shore leave, and excited, you idly planned things to do with such freedom. But while your co-workers chatted eagerly about the chance for some time away from the Enterprise, you kept quiet, and to your duties while on the clock.

Not that Doctor McCoy also being on shift as the news broke had anything to do with that.

"Oh, you -" he acknowledges upon entering the Medbay. "Nurse -,"

"__________," you supply, perhaps too quickly, "What can I do to be of assistance?"

He pauses in the doorway, swaying where he stands. Your keen eyes swept over his form; though he had just arrived on shift, you could see hints of fatigue; the bags beneath his eyes, the slowed movement, the deep frown upon his face.

He doesn't reply and approaching your superior officer, you ask again, "Are you feeling well, sir? Should I -,"

"It's fine, Nurse __________." He snaps, brushing past you.

It's a very rare day with no patients in the room, and you watch him as he goes toward his small office in the rear of the Medbay. He closes the door behind him and flicks the old-style Earth blinds over the glass on the door. You bite at your lip, chewing in earnest. What could be the matter?

---

By the time that Jim found out that Bones wasn't going to be on-planet for shore leave, it was too late to reschedule things so there would be an excuse for his friend to go and have fun. Not that Jim needed any reasonable excuse for that to happen.

He'd once orchestrated a fake wedding between Spock and Uhura to try and get Bones to stop working so damn late (but that had fallen through, mostly because it turned out that Spock was actually thinking about proposing to Nyota, and Jim's intervention had apparently been a "disaster" to Spock's carefully planned proposal). Jim had even once pretended to be sick in his quarters to have Bones inspect him personally (Jim had planned to trap him inside, watch holo-films and drink whiskey) but then Doctor M'Benga came instead of his friend, and he was forced to get the vaccinations that he'd been avoiding.

But now Jim had the perfect plan. He'd seen how Bones acted around that Nurse he always worked with - Nurse __________. Jim could have sworn that his friend chose to work alongside her because the man had driven every other person of her rank away. But, nonetheless. Jim had a plan. While not exactly a connoisseur of true love, Jim knew how to make it all pan out.

He could go about it like his other tricks, make something that was memorable, perhaps borderline disastrous, but his friend deserved the best. It wasn't a prank if someone was at least consenting in some way, right? And as far as Jim knew, both parties certainly were.

He saw how the pair of them looked at each other on the security footage. Like lovesick children! Like kids who had no idea how to communicate the finer details of their feelings to one another! Like two medical professionals too immersed in their careers to see beyond their noses!

That was where Jim came in, and smirking to himself at his brilliance, Jim went to reply to the message that had come into his communicator and make some magic.

---

The fact that Christine called you up out of the blue, and then set you up on a date should have seemed fishier than it was. But to you, your fellow Nurse was just a close friend, looking out for your pitiful love life, and even being assigned to a separate Medbay to you wouldn’t stop her from reaching out. But you trusted Christine, perhaps with your own life, if it ever came to it. Her judgement was (nearly) law, and so, you buzzed throughout the day, a mix of trepidation and excitement keeping you going.

You were supposed to meet the person at five at the entrance of the main mess hall, but there wasn’t anyone there. Confused, and a little betrayed, you messaged Christine for answers, but all she said was that he worked with you and that she’d kick his ass if he stood you up. You wouldn’t wish her wrath on anyone, and instead of feeling upset, you decided to find the mystery date yourself.

It was a quick walk to the Medbay, and though it was the off shift, the current nurses greeted you kindly. But when you asked about anyone who wasn’t supposed to be working being in the Medbay, all that one nurse who wasn’t wearing his nametag said was, “I don’t know about anyone, but the CMO is still in his office.”

Was Christine setting me up with…? You wondered.

There wasn’t a reply as you knocked at the door, and walking in, you saw why. Laying face-down on the desk, arms cradling his head, was Doctor Leonard McCoy. His hair was crisp in a way in which needed washing, from either from being carded through or lack of a care routine to it. He slept soundly as you closed the door behind you and made your way to his side of the desk, creeping around the papers that littered all the surfaces of the room.

A pit settled in your stomach as you regarded him.

Sleeping, he looked like a different man from the one you worked with. His frown-lines were unwrinkled, demeanour relaxed, and for a moment, you felt your heart jump at the sight of your long-time crush, and senior officer before you.

Ever since you were a little kid, your favourite type of person was someone that had two faces; one to the world, and one hidden beneath that one. That was perhaps because your favourite fairy- was Snow White & Rose Red. When you were seven, you spent a weekend seeking out the bears in the forest in search of a fairy-tale prince that was cursed to be one. Your parents quickly put an end to that, and ever since, you were left with one type of love on your mind. The kind where you would sift through, searching for the hidden prince beneath.

Maybe that’s why, after all this time you still liked him.

He stirred as you placed a hand on his, sitting up when you started to make sense of all the papers that were everywhere. You didn’t realise that he’d been awake until you looked over your shoulder, his papers in your hands.

“Hi,” you greeted, “uh, Doctor McCoy. Sorry to wake you.”

He blinked.

---

Jim was having a not very good day on the bridge, what, with Spock and Uhura’s latest spat over something that he didn’t care about. He excused himself, leaving his duties to his first mate, and made his way to the Medbay for something for the headache. Hopefully, he’d be administered something that wasn’t in a shot.

But when he got down there, he couldn’t see Bones anywhere. Records on his PADD said that he hadn’t clocked off, and yet, he wasn’t in the main area. Curious, Jim let himself into the back room, only to find -

“Nurse __________,” he greeted, looking between them, and his friend, “Bones!”

“Jim,” Leonard gritted out. “What are you doing here?”

“I want something for the migraine. Or at least, it feels like one. Don’t diagnose me, just give me the good stuff.” He prattled, looking through a first aid box that sat on one of the tables beside the desk. “I see you two are hitting it off. I thought tonight was your date, Nurse __________?”

“Uh -,”

“Jim, you have no right to pry into the private lives of my staff,” Leonard spoke up.

“Speaking of, why aren’t you at your date?” Jim added, finding what he needed in the box, and popping the paracetamol into his mouth, the captain of the Enterprise swallowed the pill dry in one go. “Sorry. I shouldn’t pry, bye!”

At that, he left the pair of them to their confusion, and waltzed back to his post, confident he’d ride out the headache.

---

“You have a date?” You heard Doctor McCoy ask you, a flush of heat growing on his pale face. Suddenly, you felt barer than you did five seconds ago when your captain and personal nuisance had waltzed in and exposed your private life. “Why aren’t you - what are you doing here?”

“They didn’t show up,” you reply, softly. “My friend - Nurse Chapel - she said they worked here, and I came to give them a piece of my mind, but then someone out there said you were still here, and I -,” you felt a wave of embarrassment flash across your face, and somewhat mortified, you stopped speaking.

“I’ll give that guy a piece of my mind.” He grunted. But as he went to stand, he sat almost immediately back down, in an unceremoniously simple way in which made you hear sirens. “…but not right yet.”

You blinked, placing all the things together that you’d observed over the last few days. “…sir, I think you’re experiencing fatigue.” You tell him, placing your wrist against his forehead. He recoiled, but just as you thought, he was burning up. Rescinding your hand, you began working on finding something to get him enough energy to rest in his room. “At least tell me you had plans that you’re missing, so I can feel better about missing out on mine.”

He snorted. “…Jim set me up. The bastard doesn’t realise what today is to me.”

You paused, looking to your superior. “If you don’t mind me asking, sir…what is today, to you?”

Doctor McCoy paused, and, softly, as if he’d never said it aloud in the first place, he told you, “It’s my daughter’s birthday. She’s eleven today, and I promised I’d be - I’d be back home for her.”

You looked to your hands. You'd never think of him having a daughter, and yet...you could already picture her. “I can see how that would tear you up.” You empathise, the words slipping out as fast as they come to your mind, no time to filter them at all. “…although I’m glad I missed out on my date, too. I don’t have a good experience with it at all.”

“If you don’t mind me asking, Nurse - __________…?”

“Oh, well…the last time I went on a date, it was back at the academy, about fourth year? He was a quite nice guy, studying computer engineering. A looker.” You tell him, not sure why you feel so comfortable saying all this to him. “He turned out to be very much in love with his ex-girlfriend and he told me all about her all that night.”

“Did you call him back?” Doctor McCoy asked you humourlessly.

“Stars, no. And I haven’t gone out with anyone else since. Well, until…” you trail off, turning back to your supervisor. “I can’t find anything in here to give you, so I’m prescribing you the old-fashioned treatment of rest.” You tell Doctor McCoy. “I’ll even walk you back to your room so that I know you make it there.”

“My hero,” he said in his dry, Georgian accent.

Once you helped him to his feet, you got Doctor McCoy to walk out surreptitiously without your help. But once you exited the Medbay, you reclaimed your hold on him as so to keep his status in the workplace and got to talking. You spoke of how you knew of his friend the Captain, and how you were to meet the date at five o’clock. It was then he paused.

“I was supposed to meet my date at five.” He said.

You frown. “The one you said Captain Kirk set you up on?” you asked him.

Doctor McCoy nodded. “Yep, that’s the one. I was supposed to meet them at the mess hall, the big one, but -,”

“Oh my -,” you realise, looking at your feet like you just realised that they were attached to you, feeling something new in your chest, a rush of surprise, and exhilaration, “I think you’re my blind date.”

There was a strange noise, and looking to the man beside you in curiosity, you realised quite quickly that he was laughing. Quietly, of course, and in a way that sounded like a snuffle, or a chuckle, really. But he was laughing.

“Of course,” he smirked. “No wonder Jim was in our business like that. And your friend, Chapel, I’m sure she hates Jim but would do anything for you -,”

“Very true,” you retort. “It’s just…quite funny that it’s come to this.” You gesture toward Doctor McCoy, leaning on your tiredly as if he’s from the old Earth film Weekend at Bernie’s but is very much alive. “…I’ve always had a thing for you, you know.”

“Sorry, I…sorry I messed up your date for you,” He replied sheepishly, and added softly, looking your way, “…and I like you too. Have done for a while.”

“Would you go out with me?” you ask, hopefully. “Doctor McCoy?”

He grinned and pecked your cheek with a kiss. The five o’clock shadow tickled you and left you tingling after he rescinded from your proximity. “’course I’ll go out with you. Just not while I’m like,” he gestured to himself, just like you did before.

“Let’s get you to your room, doctor.” You chuckle, walking him on his way once more. Working together, you both made short work of it and made it to Doctor McCoy’s private room in good time. “…rest up, sir.”

“Thank you, __________.” He nodded, turning toward his room.

The door was about to close, but placing your hand in the way, it waited, and you met his eyes. “Good night, Doctor. And a happy birthday to your daughter.”

[oh-great-authoress]

19 for Fandom Asks! :)

Do you have any idea how hard your ask was, Welsh?

This drove me up the wall.

Okay, if I could be a part of any story, which story would I want to tag along in?

Well, it all depends.

Are we talking unadulterated canon stories, or fanfic—but then again, those things are not mutually exclusive.

So, here are the unadulterated canon stories I would love to be in, either to change outcomes myself, or to just enjoy the ride.

1. The Rise of Skywalker. I can save Ben and Armitage. I know I can. I’m a Slytherclaw. I can manage that.

2. Revenge of the Sith. I’m sure I can find a subtle way to convince Anakin that no, Padmè is not going to die in childbirth, yes, Palpatine is totally skeevy, and no, Obi-Wan’s not going to kill you for having a wife. He might be momentarily shocked and maybe a little bit upset, but he’s not going to kill you.

3. Harry Potter. You can bet your bottom dollar that I’d be right there, trying to convince Draco Malfoy to defect, and that I’d be right there at the Shrieking Shack/Boathouse with a bezoar to shove down Severus Snape’s throat, and a wand to intone Vulnera Sanentur three times. (Yes, I like Snape and Malfoy, I’m sorry, sue me, tumblr)

4. Lord of the Rings, but in particular, The Return of the King.

5. It’s not even been released yet, but Star Trek: Strange New Worlds, because Anson Mount’s Captain Pike was awesome, and so were Ethan Peck as Spock, and Rebecca Romijn as Number One, and this show’s definitely going to be awesome.

6. Again, another thing that hasn’t even been released yet, but The Falcon and the Winter Soldier. These two have some of the biggest dumbass energy I’ve ever seen, and I just want to eat popcorn while following Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes.

7. Basically all of the Star Trek Alternate Original Series, but in particular, Star Trek: Into Darkness. If I can’t save the original timeline’s Captain Pike, because his fate is one that is unavoidable, you’re definitely going to find me pulling the the Kelvin Timeline’s Admiral Pike out of the way of that phaser blast. Jim Kirk lost one father, he doesn’t need to lose another.

8. 1995 Sense and Sensibility. Alan Rickman as Colonel Brandon. Enough said.

9. Pride and Prejudice. Again, enough said.

10. Game of Thrones. While I believe that Jaime Lannister went back to King’s Landing to save his sister, not his lover, (since that’s the only way I can wrap my head around that) I’d only be there to set a trap on the Kingsroad, knock his ass out cold, and drag him back to Winterfell.

Now, regarding fanfiction, that’s more difficult. But here are the fanfics I’d like to tag along in, in no particular order, because these are all amazing works. I’m naming non-pairing centric fics, because if I did, this list would be literal miles long, even longer than it already is.

1. When Darkness Seems to Hide This Place by IllyanaA. This fifty chapter epic is a wild ride, but this story kept me so entertained, I barely noticed the chapter count.

2. The whole Lord Vader’s Limpet Saga by frodogenic. This entire AU is just an amazing combo of laughs, feels, and drama. One of my favorite tropes is Admiral Piett is Done With Life, and the story in this AU, Meet the Skywalkers, which chronologically, is the first story in this wonderful AU, is from his point of view, and boy, let me tell you, it really, really delivered with Admiral Piett is Done With Life. I cannot recommend this whole AU more.

3. You Shall Become (Me) by Jedipati. This story was great, and the premise is all too plausible.

4. The Sanctuary AU by Sheankelor. As a Catholic, I loved this story; it was very well-written and the details were dead on, especially when you consider the author does not seem to be Catholic nor Christian.

5. A Riddled Universe by hazeldragon. I love the idea that there’s a universe where Tom Riddle is a good guy.

6. The Thrice Defied Series by Rae Kelly. This was so good, I ate this whole series up in two days.

7. The On The Flip Side series by MusicMelis. This. I am such a sucker for mentor!Severus & Harry fics, and these are good ones.

8. A Second Chance by keyphoenix. See the above.

9. Anakin and the Darkness Within by SsgtC. This is really, really good, with drama, laughs, and details I never thought I needed.

10. Legend of the Lost by Rosaria Marie. I was kinda torn about putting this, because I always cry whenever I read this, but it’s too good not to include.

11. Bonus: A Wolf Amongst Lions by @kallypsowrites . The pairing here is very unusual, (don’t worry, it happens after Arya’s of age) in that it is Arya/Jaime, and at first I wasn’t sold on that, but the story isn’t really centric on that pairing, its main focus is its Arya & Tywin dynamic, which is what really sucked me in, and along the way, to my not-unpleasant surprise, I found myself not minding the Jaime/Arya. I was blown away by how amazingly this story was written, that I faithfully followed whenever the author would upload a chapter. Honestly, it was a highlight of my Thursday, that’s how much liked this fic.