#well there are certainly directions it's going to go Very soon... hmmmm

[orcelito]

Oh I just remembered where I left off for discacc. Oh Huh

[fractaldunes]

desire, hate, and mistake?

desire: What's one thing your OC wants more than anything in the world? Are they open with that desire? Why or why not? What would they do to fulfill it?

Okay okay for this one I'll do my sweet girl Tulip. So after Tulip was dragged out of the dirt from her 600 year nap, she was rehabilitated by the woman who found her, Willow, and her father. Over the course of like a year or two (i cant decide on how long) the two of them grow closer and like. They aren't exactly like partners or anything. But Tulip feels this deep sense of loyalty and debt and also bits of love that she isn't able to identify. Being a robot that is either 5 or 650 years old and was "raised" in a lab doesn't give you good emotional intelligence. But yeah she feels very connected to Willow and Willow kinda feels that back. Buuuuuut then womp womp Willow gets kidnapped and their house gets burnt down and Willows dad is killed oh no.

So Tulip is quite unhappy about that. And SLATE is about her journey tracking Willow down and defeating the mysterious organization that orchestrated all of this. She wants Willow back more than anything, and she will do just about anything to reach that goal.

Shes pretty open about her desire to save Willow, albeit only to her party. She's mute and antisocial and even with her party shes very direct about it. Even then its only because them being in on what her goal is will make everything more efficient and, in theory, get her there faster. She's very impatient.

By the time she gets to her final destination, shes killed quite a few people in order to get to Willow.

hate: What does your OC hate? Why? How do they act towards the object of their hatred?

Hmmmm I think I'll do Victoria for this one. She's from one of my other stories, Quick Shift. She's a recently turned vampire that was brought in by a secret subdivision of a US government agency. However, she used to be a corporate manager before she turned. She's ruthlessly efficient and bloodthirsty (in more ways than one).

She hates anyone and everyone that doesn't meet her very specific criteria. If they aren't maximally efficient, extremely competent, well composed, etc, then they are worthless to her. As soon as she is moved into the agency's base, she's greatly disappointed by the (perceived) incompetence going on. Even her assigned bodyguard/assistants Suit and Coat are morons (though she does have a soft spot for them + they're useful). So she immediately sets a mutiny in motion and gets it done by next week. She's a bit disgusted with her own methods (seducing random guards and office workers and turning them into ghouls. hey maybe shes a bad person) but she can't argue with results.

So with her new vampiric powers, ghouls, and a subdivision of a government agency under her control, she decides to go to the logical next step. Take over the world (starting with the country) and leave it a heap of smoldering ash and wailing souls. Because she can and because she's certainly better than everyone else. She is entirely convinced of her own superiority and others' inferiority. She hates almost everybody but herself and even then that is iffy at times. She sucks and I hate her.

mistake: What's the worst mistake your OC ever made? What led to them making it? Have they been able to fix it? How have they moved on?

Ohohohoho I'm definitely doing Wolfram. Wolfram is another character from SLATE. He's the (former) king of the city of Paderbrück and (former) hero of the city during his youth. He was chosen by their god, Our Holy Protector (generic i know. thats on purpose dont worry), to protect the city against a pair of incursions by an army and some goo things. By the time of SLATE hes an old man still ruling over the city, but he's lost a lot of his respect since the glory days. He doesn't let it get to him though. And then BAM this random humanoid girl thing made of metal(??????) barges in and beats the shit out of him. Eventually he gets her to stop and they talk (Tulip just writes, really). He figures out what she's doing this for, is very moved by her story, and decides to join her party even though she didn't ask and doesn't want him at all. He seems to know some good places to go though.

So they journey together for a while and the important things happen a bit later here. So in this city called Ash Pillar they're fighting this roided up skinhead prick called The General and then he gets the big idea to drop some shit. He reveals that he knows Wolfram! And pretty well at that. You see, the organization The General is under, Slate, basically has a human trafficking highway going through a series of cities... including Paderbrück! Wolfram initially resisted, but he folded as soon as The General killed his fucking wife! A recent addition to the party, a teen girl named Bibigul who had her father very much killed by The General is shocked! They have something in common! Tulip, on the other hand, is fucking pissed. That trafficking highway is what Willow's kidnappers used.

But anyways The General turns into a horrible flesh monster and then they defeat him. Bibi is knocked out in the fight (she's a frail 16 year old with burns on like half her body to be fair. its a miracle she was even in any condition to fight and do her magic shit. oh yeah she can do magic sorta dont worry abt that right now) and The General is like half dead and shriveled up like a raisin. Allain (another party member) gives Wolfram the right to do whatever he wants. However, Wolfram decides to spare the man! He decries that he could never kill the man, since it's not at all what his late wife would want. How noble! He lets the man go and he wanders off into the plains.

And then Bibi wakes up and he explains what he did to her and she nearly kills him then and there. Wolfram had the man who killed her father and burned down almost all of the massive city she called home and killed so so so many people (oh yeah he also did that) under his foot and he let. him. go. So then Wolfram realizes that he's a fucking idiot and is immediately struck by guilt for what he's done. Bibi leaves the party and ventures out into the plains alone to find and kill The General.

So Wolfram has to live with that for a while. He's not even convinced that it was even something his wife wouldn't want. Maybe his act of mercy was kind of very stupid. He has no real way to make it up either. Even after Bibi rejoins the party, The General is still alive out there somewhere. It's not something he could ever fix.

I haven't quite decided on how this plotline ends yet. I'm thinking somewhere in the latter half of the story, maybe towards the tail end of Grand Sprawl or a quiet moment in Victrola him and Bibi make some sort of resolution. But for now idk. But i'd like to think he's able to move on from his mistake though.

[outoftheirdifferences]

Imagine a story where scamp and annette collette and danielle swapped places.

HMMMM...

That would be interesting because it prompts the question of what, exactly, would make them decide to run away, especially if Scamp stayed put? I know Dani can be boisterous sometimes, so I suppose if she was the one to cause serious trouble instead of Scamp and was the one who got put outside as punishment? While Annette and Collette might tut about it behind her back, they'd definitely be more sympathetic to her than they were to Scamp... but even if together they decide that their parents' / Jim Dear's treatment of her is unfair, neither Anne nor Colle have Scamp's rebellious streak, so I don't see either of them willingly suggesting to run off.

Under the cut because, heh, you got me thinking and this ended up getting longer than I expected!

Unless... Dani got away on her own, leaving her two sisters to panic and decide that they have to bring her back before their parents realise she's gone, to save her from getting into further trouble. She's certainly impulsive enough for that, and I'm sure Annette and Collette, between them, would be sure that together they could talk sense into her so would maybe count on the fact that they don't expect her to have got very far...

I guess maybe they do catch up with Dani fairly soon - whether before or after she runs into Angel, I don't know - but she refuses to come back because she feels like the rest of the family is treating her unfairly. I know that if Angel is present she'd subtly throw her weight behind the sisters' side of the argument, but Dani can for sure be stubborn, and if she feels that Annette and Collette aren't giving consideration to her feelings she would for sure blow them off. She'd also find Angel incredibly cool and try to attach herself to her.

If they did make it to the junkyard though, Dani following Angel and her sisters trailing after still trying to make her see sense... well. Buster might not have recognised Scamp as Tramp's son right away, but three prissy spaniel girls who remind him far too much of the woman who Tramp ditched him for, and who so clearly smell of house dog? Oh, there's no way that would go over well. He'd definitely direct the conversation in such a way as to let them make fools of themselves, get the gang making fun of them, maybe even rough them up a little... all the while thinking of ways to use them to get back at Tramp for abandoning him all that time ago.

I wasn't sure at first exactly what strategy he'd settle on. I feel like the one he used in the movie, getting Scamp taken by the dog catcher, only came about because of the specific set of circumstances surrounding it, it wouldn't be something he'd default to automatically. He wouldn't just trap them somewhere, because he doesn't know if they've inherited Tramp's resourcefulness; if they have then he'd have to imagine that not much would hold them for long - plus, Buster wouldn't want to just make Tramp's daughters disappear, he'd want Tramp to know that he was the one behind it, that it was his revenge, and that there was nothing Tramp could do about it.

Maybe... maybe he'd get the pack to take the girls somewhere, then when Tramp shows up looking for them, throw them into some kind of lethal situation that he wouldn't be able to save them all from. He might be able to save one of them, or even two... but Buster knows what Tramp's limits are and would arrange it specifically so that he wouldn't be able to rescue all three, not in time, and he'd then forever have to live with the knowledge that he'd had to make a choice to save one of his daughters over another.

Only... I imagine in the interim, while Buster's plotting and scheming and laying the hints to lead Tramp to that site, he has the rest of the pack keep guard over the girls... and while the others are disinterested, Angel gets talking to them. It starts off with her just subtly asking about their home, in a way that sounds like she doesn't much care, even as she secretly just indulged her longing for that type of life for just a moment... but that kicks off the old ache for a family in her. She's still SUPER guarded, especially with the rest of the pack around, but what they describe speaks to her... and maybe, too, the way that, even though Annette and Collette very much blame Dani for getting them into this, when the need arises both of them still stick their necks out to defend her despite that. There's a loyalty there that Angel hasn't known with the past families who dropped her at a moment's notice, and it sparks off something in her, gets her almost daring to hope again...

So in that confrontation, seeing what Buster's doing, seeing the realisation hit Tramp that he can't save all of his daughters alone (or even with the family members he's brought with him, because the rest of the pack hold them at bay to keep them from interfering)... Angel has made sure to position herself in just the right place that she can leap in and save one of the girls, allowing Tramp and Lady the time to rescue the other two. Buster, furious that his plan has been thwarted, turns viciously on Angel even as he commands the pack to tear Tramp and his family apart - if he can't wreck Tramp emotionally, then physically will have to do. He wounds Angel, then turns on Tramp while the rest of the pack, while horrified, still obey and tangle with Lady, Jock and Trusty...

...meanwhile Scamp, waiting at home for news, just wonders why nothing exciting ever happens to him... xD

As to how we'd bring it to a climax from there... The girls would definitely race to help Angel and take care of her wounds... and I think maybe, when Tramp and Buster prove to be too even a physical match for either to get an upper hand, the four girls put their heads together and come up with a strategy to trip him up somehow. Despite being the cause of the trouble in the beginning, I feel like Dani's impulsive streak would prove to have its uses when she breaks from the plan at a crucial moment, but in such a way that things would have gone wrong if she hadn't and that results in a better outcome than they'd intended.

Ultimately Buster is defeated / trapped, and the rest of the pack, shaken by his brutal attack on Angel, feel no inclination to help him and run off to do their own thing. Buster is found and picked up by the dog catcher, while the family make amends and return home, bringing Angel with them to nurse her back to health... and where she ultimately ends up staying for good, of course.

[wagner-fell]

Spiders Are Ugly And Other Lies Capitalism Has Told Us (part one)

“Dad,” Astrid called out, shutting the coral coloured front door behind her. “Are you home?”

She dumped her cream tote bag spray painted with the words ‘Washing Machine Heart’ in big, rainbow letters onto one of the stools facing the granite countertop. The rest of the Merry Hoes followed suit. It was weird seeing a person as chaotic as Astrid in such a calm environment.

They were all spending the summer in LA with Astrid and her Dad. It had taken a while for Kevin to convince his family it was a good idea. Especially because he and Blessica had finally put years of pinning behind them. Making out on Kit’s bed at Mina’s third birthday party certainly wasn’t the way they had envisioned it but as the longing was over with, they were happy.

The Chu’s didn’t love the idea of their son living in a different country for three months with his girlfriend but we’re on board once Kevin assured them there was no possible way Blessica could get pregnant.

Kit wasn’t officially sleeping at the Yang’s but at the Institute with his boyfriend. Julian wasn’t so thrilled about the situation but Emma was. She was positively ecstatic about having a training partner as skilled as Kit was, courtesy of Jem and Tessa. Though staying a thirty minute drive away (on the wrong side of the road, Mari noted) wouldn’t keep Kit away for long. Even now he was with them instead of having his own reunion make out session.

Speaking of making out…

Mari rested their chin on the top of Astrid’s head and wrapped their arms around her middle. “Why don’t you show us your room while we wait for your dad to get home.”

It was kinda perfect, Mari often remarked, that she realized her feelings for their best friend weren’t so platonic as she previously led herself to believe at the same time they and Kit realized they were better off as just platonic.

Astrid hit her hand playfully. “That’s not fair!” she whined! ”How dare you take advantage of my constant hornyness when my God-fearing Presbyterian father could be in the next room? Shame! Shame on you, shame on your family, shame on your cow.”

“I’m pretty sure it’s ‘dishonor’”, said Kit, who didn’t even look up from his phone when he addressed her, “but go off I guess.”

Astrid looked like she was questioning all her life choices up to this point. “A white boy knows Mulan better than me.” She shook her head in disgust. Mari could feel the loose hairs of her girlfriend’s ponytail ticking her exposed collar bone. “Mulan.”

Mari laughed before softly brushing their lips against Astrid mop of bleached strands of pastel yellow, pink and blue mixed magnificently with her natural inky black.

“Is hornyness even a word?” Kevin wondered aloud as he observed the knickknacks placed at even intervals utop the kitchen cabinets. Blessica was with him. She was gazing at one of a crab steering a ship when she spotted a slim piece of paper taped below it.

“Ast,” she called. The both looked in her direction, despite Blessica needing the attention of one. “Your dad says he won’t be home till seven. Emergency at work.”

“Which leaves us more than enough time to pack and head over to meet Ty, Dru and Thaìs at the arcade,” said Kit. He finally turned his phone off and shoved it into the back pocket of his ripped jeans. “Marstrid can do the ol’ devil’s tango then catch up to us.”

‘Marstrid’ wrinkled their noses. “I thought we agreed on Astari, Christopher.”

“Astari sounds gayer,” confirmed Kevin, his eyes never leaving the miniature decorations.

“Not to be rude but why does Astari sound gayer?” asked a visibly confused Blessica.

“Because,” answered Mari, unraveling herself from Astrid to slide onto one of the bar stools and reaching into the Jolly Rancher jar, blindly searching for a green, “Astari has ‘star’ in it. Star equals astrology. An obsession with astrology is the price you pay for the gay agenda. Besides, Marstrid sounds like an old southern lady.” Then she furrowed her eyebrows and swiveled to face Astrid. “Southern is Texas, right?” Astrid nooded, a smile so big the Cheshire Cat would be jealous.

Without looking, she stuck her hand in the jar and pulled out a green apple flavoured hard candy on her first try. She held it out to Mari, who snatched it out of her hand with an angry huff.

“Hey, Ast, where do you guys keep the crisps?” asked Kevin when he finished inspecting all the knickknacks.

“Uh, under the barbecue sauce, I think.”

Kit’s eyes lit up. “So I’m sitting there”- Astrid understood what was happening in just enough time to quote- “barbecue sauce on my titties” in unison.

Mari put her head into their open palms, still sucking on the pity candy. “Why is this my type?”

“Are you sure this is the right place?” asked Blessica as Kit attempted to parallel park outside the location Ty had texted him to meet at. Key word, attempt. When Tessa had taught him to drive, he’d been such a disaster at parallel parking she had instructed him to ‘take the underground when tight spaces might be a possibility.’ Which he prided himself in doing. But this was America and the underground was called the subway, so, technically, no rules were being broken.

“Yes, Blessie, I’m certain.”

“Okay. Just checking cause a few turns back the GPS said-”

“Blessie!” He nearly crashed into the car in front of him.

“Right. Shutting up.”

When Kit managed to park with minimal damage and the three were about to exit, the voice of Nicki Minaj boomed from his pocket. Ty was calling him. He accepted the call, putting it on speaker.

“Hello Tiberius.” There was giggling from the other end of the line. A groan soon followed it.

“It’s been a year,” came the annoyed voice of Dru. “Get over your British kink already.” Kevin’s laughter echoed from the backseat.

“Hey Ty!

“Hi Kevin.”

”Hey Dru!”

“Fuck off.”

“Ouch. Why do you feel the need to hurt me so?” Blessica laughed.

“Hey…Thaìs?”

“Here,” replied Thaìs cheerfully.

“Are you here yet,” asked Ty.

“Uh, yeah! We were just getting out of the rental car when you called. You didn’t tell me it was going to be crowded. I had to parallel park!”

“What are you talking about?” interrupted Dru. ”There are only four cars in the parking lot.”

“But,” Ty countered, “there are lots of Billy’s Fun Zones’ around here. You guys must have got mixed up and taken a wrong turn. I could have sworn I sent you the correct location on GPS.” Maybe Ty said more on the subject but Kit could hear anything or see anything except the superior smirk Blessica was giving him.

He covered the speaker. “Not. A. Word.” And no word came out of her mouth the entire ride to the correct Billy’s Fun Zone but the ‘I told you so’ look on her face spoke loud enough.

Kit slid back into the booth next to Ty, handing him his pretzel. Ty kissed him on the check in gratitude.

Dru and Ty were right. About this one being empty. He told him he had heard about it from Alyssa. Her pack frequented it often. They were left alone because, well, there was no one else there to bother them.

“Where are Astrid and Mari?” he asked.

“Fucking. I think. Or maybe just making out. I’ll know which one when they finish.” When Ty gave him a puzzled look he continued, “Astrid describes it all to me in full detail. I honestly don’t know whether she doesn’t have a filter or she just needs someone to scream to about how amazing Mari is.”

“Why can’t it be both?”

“True, true.”

They sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes before Ty picked up the conversation again. “When Thaìs first met Astrid, she had a huge crush on her. They got along great. I always thought they would end up together. Or hook up at the very least.”

“Huh, that’s funny,” observed Kit.

“What is?”

“When me and Mari split, I was planning on trying to set them up with Thaìs. But then I caught her ans Astrid making out in a storage closet at school. Which, in hindsight, was pretty stupid cause they were in there so I wouldn’t be sad Mari moved on when I opened the door in the first place avoiding her to call you.”

“Hmmmm.”

The gears in Ty’s head were visibly turning. Kit loved watching this process. An idea was forming in his boyfriend’s genius mind, he could sense it.

“What is their stance on monogamy?” he asked finally.

“Um, fuck, hold on. Mari sent me this whole speech about it.” Kit scrolled through his phone at a rapid rate before he saw what he was looking for. He cleared his throat and began reading aloud.

Mari_da_bisexual_whore, sent 1:52 AM: monogamy is just another lie capitalism has fed us

Mari_da_bisexual_whore, sent 1:55 AM: like, for example, the notion that house spiders are ugly and to be feared

Mari_da_bisexual_whore, sent 1:56 AM: it’s just to sell bug spray

Mari_da_bisexual_whore, sent 1:56 AM: same with monogamy

Mari_da_bisexual_whore, sent 1:56 AM: pointless!!!

Mari_da_bisexual_whore, sent 1:58 AM: in conclusion, if I want to join a polyam cult, who tf is the government to stop me?

Kev-Kev, sent 2:01 AM: mari please go to sleep

Bless-ing_to_the_world, sent 2:04 AM: ^^^^^^^^^^^

Mitski_my_love, sent 2:05 AM: preach!

Mitski_my_love, sent 2:05 AM: go off queen

By the time Kit was finished with his dramatic reading, Ty’s plan was fully formed.

“That settles it! We are going to play matchmakers!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alyssa, Ty’s friend mentioned is @thechangeling OC, not mine.

@the-blackdale @the-wckd-powers @adoravel-fenomeno @thomas-gaypanic-lightwood @illusions-give-reasons-to-live @ithurielkeepsgettingkidnapped @im-not-ruined-im-ruination @sofiatheskeleton @cncnbr @its-taff @noah-herondale-lightwood @maxboythedog @arangiajoan @shelvesofgold @book-dragon-not-worm sorry if I missed anyone LMK if you want to be added or removed from The tag List!!

[evakuality]

Hanna, episode 9

1.  Hanna is such a sweet character.  Occasionally it’s easy to forget that, but even in the face of her own hurt and justifiable anger at Matteo and what he’s done, as soon as she realises he’s going through some shit, she not only doesn’t pursue her anger but asks Jonas to hug him for her and give him best wishes.  Honestly, I love her so so so much.  I don’t actually much recall the way this scene goes in Eva’s season, but Eva always felt tougher (? I think that’s what I mean?) somehow.  I mean, I know Hanna doesn’t let it lie forever (good for her!) but she has so much compassion in this particular moment.

2.  I adore that Hanna is wearing this ‘stronger together; shirt when she’s talking with Jule.  This is always such a great moment - the girls realising that actually they need to stop tearing each other up and actually place blame where it needs to go.  This scene with Jule is also much nicer/better than the previous one.  I really do think that’s because the stuff with Leonie was SO emotional that the Jule thing had no time to breathe.  But here it’s a) much longer and b) is given the space it deserves, and Hanna is being so proactive in such a positive way.  Love this for her.  Also, look at this gorgeous yellow surrounding this scene.  It’s so warm and calm and it calls back to those soft colours of the early season, but it’s so much stronger and brighter.  I like that we’re kind of getting a return to Hanna’s true self (if that’s even a thing) but it’s not so washed out and pale.  My girl is getting stronger.

3.  Hanna and Jonas.  Awkwaaarrrrddddd.  But also this hallway/stairway they meet in is so cool.  I love how many different textures this place has.  Also, it’s a bit.... hmmmm.  I don’t know, it feel so artificial the way they are giving us this information about Matteo’s family.  It could arguably have come out (the stuff about his mother anyway) more organically earlier in the season.  It’s good to know, but the execution isn’t the best.  I do like the bit with Sam and Jonas.  I mean, not ‘like’ as in approve, but like as in I like the way it’s executed.  This is so real for this age, and it really felt like it could be genuine.  I also really really like how Hanna’s immediate reaction is to try to settle Jonas, to give him the same attention she used to, and how natural that also feels.  But of course, he’s still in pain and so it doesn’t work.  But it does show just how well connected they were - and lends weight to what Hanna was saying about how she has genuine feelings for Jonas.  It wasn’t just about stealing a boyfriend.  I really do like the way these clips bleed into each other, bits from one informing what comes into another.

4.  I do like these little girl squad moments.  And while Kiki really does get on my nerves, it’s nice that they are all thinking about and concerned about her.  It’s nice when they support each other.  Still.  She still really hasn’t grown up, and is still chasing that whole popularity thing at any cost.  She’s at risk of losing genuine friends, and of seriously damaging her health.  But we know that, and it sucks what’s going to be coming for her.  

5.  Ahh, the karaoke is so much fun!!  I really really do love this whole bit.  It reminds me of ho0w much fun we used to have doing it.  Though I was never good enough at singing or confident (or drunk!) enough to do it by myself, so full kudos to everyone here who did it.

6.  The thing with Matteo is also super well done.  The acting here, from both of them, is really great.  Her voice changes when she asks if he’s better and when she says he’s trustworthy you can see on his face that he knows that she’s caught him before she even has to say anything.  This is always a moment I like in these scenes - when the Isak character is so close to the verge of admitting that he likes the Jonas character, and the Eva character goes in an entirely wrong direction.�� And it is really well done here.  His little face when he realises she hasn’t got it, and the absolute irritation in her voice when she says that’s no reason to be doing all this fucked up shit.  I’ve seen people saying they don’t like the way Matteo is acted in this season, but it’s very much consistent with how he develops later, particularly given the changes in his life situation rn.  It’s a lot in the face and the body language, and I guess again because Matteo is subtly different to Isak you might see that as ‘bad’ but I really like it.  I like that they’re two different characters who happen to go through a similar life path (and I did go over that at length in this series of posts starting here).  The acting really has been great this season imo.  Even when it was finding its feet early on, Hanna always resonated and rang true and it’s still true here.  And the really nice thing is, you can see here that they are and have been good friends.  So when she tells him she misses him in s3, you can believe it.  You can see it here, how upsetting this is for her.  

7.  I’d forgotten just how much is in this clip.  It’s roughly half of the entire episode!  And oh.  Kiki.  Again, I think the acting is so superb, from all of them.  But Lea infuses so much into Kiki, that as irritating and hard headed and just plain horrible as she can be sometimes, you can’t help but feel so much for her.  This moment is awful.  You can feel how lost and unhappy she is, and while the other characters are bemused (Amira’s face when she grabs the mic is amazing), I can’t help but feel so sad for her.  I also find the way Druck moves PoVs occasionally to be a strange choice.  But it does allow us to get this little insight into Mia before we’re with her fulltime (and ick.  Alex needs to learn boundaries and back off - how does he even have her number?  Do we find that out?  I don’t remember).  

8.  The whole thing with Hanna and Jonas is so painful, from the wistful looks between the two of them, to the scene together and how that all plays out, and I really like that the way it’s shot is so awkward and just a bit ‘off.  The fact that Jonas is singing a Matteo song (to Matteo, no less), and then ends up singing it to Hanna.   Then they’re not properly framed in the shot at the end, and it almost feels designed to make it uncomfortable.  They clearly have a great connection, but at the same time nothing has been talked about and so everything is just subtly ‘wrong’ and that’s why this whole bit works for me.  It’s all off, kind of difficult to parse, and leaves the episode in this place where things are not really right.  They’re not right with Mia and Kiki and they’re certainly not right with Hanna and Jonas.  

This is such a difficult episode in so many ways.  You can see why it’s called ‘crashes’ - so many things are crashing down for so many people.  So much is packed into this last clip too, that it must have been really intense when it aired.  And so we’re close to the end - one to go.  Which is a bit sad because I really really am going to miss this revisit of Hanna.  I’d forgotten just how much I love her because it’s been far too long since I watched her.

[starlxghtmoon]

Spread Your Wings || Chapter Four

Pairing: Hawks x Reader || Tangled AU

Warnings: Manipulation in the beginning (Mother Gothel is manipulative and abusive as hell, let’s all be honest here)

Word Count: 3,605 words

A/N: To anyone who cares, I apologize for taking so long to write this up. I did warn that the updates will be slow, so please bear with me! I will get it out, it’s just gonna take time cause I’m super lazy and cannot sit and write out a movie for more than 10 mins ajklskowoik anyways, perfect time to get this chapter out cause it’s our favorite bird man’s birthday!! I love him sm aklajpwign enjoy more of my garbage writing!

Disclaimer: I do not own BNHA or Tangled, both and all characters except OCs [Mimi the cat] belong to their respective creators. This is purely creative fun.  

Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three || Chapter Five

Masterlist

You dropped the frying pan you were holding with a squeal and immediately hid behind a piece of furniture as the unknown man fell to the ground. Cautiously, you peeked over top of the furniture piece you were hiding behind, seeing that the man only laid, face down on the ground, unmoving. For a moment you feared that he was dead, so you decided to see and make sure. Warily approaching him, frying pan in hand, you gently tapped at the back of his head. He made no move, but you didn’t trust it at all.

Letting out a heavy breath, stomach in knots, completely on edge, you looked over at Mimi for an answer and all she offered in return was a shrug with a soft purr. You looked back at the intruder and leaned forward once more, nudging his head to the side. Guard still up, your gaze darted back over to Mimi again, unsure what to do. The midnight black cat in question padded over to the crude painting your mother had left on the ground a few hours prior. She pawed at the painting and looked up at you, putting on an angry face, baring her own fangs. 

You nodded and gripped the frying pan by the other side, using the handle to pull his upper lip back to see his teeth, clenching yours as you looked. Your expression dropped when you saw that he didn’t have razor sharp teeth like your mother had entailed. 

“Huh.” You breathed before curiously prodding his hair from his face. Reeling back just in case he woke up and suddenly attacked you, you were taken aback by his handsome features. Your heart skipped a beat and your face grew a little warm as your gaze examined his features, taking in his side profile even though you knocked him out. 

You leaned in a little to get a closer look at the way the sunlight from the window brushed across his face before suddenly, his eye snapped open. “Huh?” You gasped out loud and quickly slammed your frying pan into his head again, successfully taking him out once more.

“Oh god! Mimi! Mimi, what do I do!?” You shouted frantically, grabbing at the roots of your hair. You gasp again, “Oh my god! Mimi, we aren’t defenseless! I’m not defenseless!” You realized, eyes glittering as you giggled with excitement. “This will show her! Then she’ll let me see the lights!” You exclaimed happily, scooping Mimi up and spinning around with her in your arms. “We should probably do something with him… oh! Let’s surprise her!” You set the cat down and searched around the room with your eyes, mapping out a place to put the intruder until she got back. Your gaze settled on your large empty wardrobe. “That should do…” You mumbled to yourself and went to try to pick the man up, but stumbled back as soon as you tried to lift and pull him. “Oh wow, you’re much heavier than I thought…” You huffed, blowing your hair out of your face and picking yourself back up. “Hmmmm…” You put a finger to your chin as you examined his body, thinking up how you were gonna get him into the closet. And then a light bulb went off in your head. I’ve got it! You knocked your fist against the palm of your hand and began gathering up your hair to wrap around the intruder’s torso.

Once you had securely wrapped him up, you got a good grip on the slack of your hair and began tugging him in the direction of the wardrobe. The task was difficult, but not impossible. You grunted as you pulled him along, soon your back was slamming into the wardrobe from how hard you were pulling him. You panted as you dropped your hold on your hair and looked back at your wardrobe. This is gonna be much harder than I thought. You proceeded to unwrap him from your hair and swing open your wardrobe. This is gonna be a lot of trial and error.

You first tried to lift him into the wardrobe. Didn’t work. Then you tried to shove him in at full speed. Also didn’t work. Pray for this mans neck. And you tried to swing him into the closet with your hair. It worked, but now your hair was stuck. Thunk. 

You sighed as you looked at his upside down figure in the wardrobe, arms and legs sticking out. That certainly wasn’t gonna work. You shoved him in legs first, pushing him back in and quickly slamming the doors closed. You let out a triumphant chuckle, dusting off your hands and walking away from the door. It worked… until the wardrobe swung open again and now, you were being crushed by the intruder’s unconscious body. 

Whipping out the broom, you struggled to get him back in the wardrobe, jabbing at him and shoving him back with the broomstick. You successfully got the door closed, but his fingers were sticking out. “Hm?” You raised a brow and proceeded to poke his fingers back in. Success!

For extra measure, you grabbed a chair and propped it up against the doors to keep him from falling out again, frying pan in hand. “Okay, okay, okay. I’ve got a person in my closet.” You started as you backed away, on your guard again. “I’ve got a person in my closet.” You looked at your reflection in the mirror as you repeated your words, “I’ve got a person in my closet!” You exclaimed with an excited laugh, twirling the frying pan in your hand and dusting it off,  “Too weak to handle myself out there huh, Mother?” You tossed the pan up and caught it, swinging it back and spinning it around your finger, “Well, tell that to my frying pan-” You knocked yourself right in the forehead with it, wincing in pain as you rubbed the sore spot. “Ow…” You mumbled before you noticed a satchel lying on the ground in the reflection behind you. 

Curiously, you inspected it, the open flap just begging you to see what was inside. A sparkle of jewels caught your eye and you leaned down to take it. Carefully holding it in your hands, you examined the many pretty jewels decorating the piece. It was certainly beautiful, but you weren’t sure what it was for. It actually looked like an oversized bracelet. Very oversized actually. 

“Hmm.” You tested the idea, sliding your arm through it, but it only hung from your wrist. Raising a brow, you looked over at your cat with a tilt of your head, seeking approval. She looked for a moment before firmly shaking her head. Taking it off your arm, you inspected it again, this time with a more scrutinizing gaze. Looking into the gems, you looked at Mimi through the crystal, seeing her shake her head again. Lowering it from your gaze, you turned toward the mirror, looking at your reflection. Maybe… You took the piece and placed it on your head. It rested nicely upon your hair. Looking at yourself with the accessory on, Mimi shook her head-

“Y/N!” You gasped, eyes widening in surprise.

“Oh!” You took the accessory off your head and stuffed it along with the satchel into a pot on the floor, rushing over to the window. Swinging the shutters open, you took your hair and tossed it onto the hook above the window, “One moment, Mother!” You called, lowering your hair down to her.

“I have a big surprise!” She announced while grabbing onto your hair.

“Uh, I do too!” You began pulling her up, chuckling a little under your breath.

“Ooh! I bet my surprise is bigger!”

“I seriously doubt it.” You mumbled as she sat up on the window sill. 

“I brought back parsnips.” She announced as she swung her legs inside. “I’m going to make hazelnut soup for dinner. Your favorite. Surprise!”

“Well, Mother, there’s something I wanna tell you.”

She sighed, taking off her cloak and hanging it up. “Oh, Y/N, you know I hate leaving you after a fight. Especially when I’ve done absolutely nothing wrong.”

Her words ticked you off a little, you knew she was trying to redirect any wrong doing onto you, but you brushed it off, wanting to get to the point, “Okay. I’ve been thinking a lot about what you said earlier.”

“I hope you’re not still talking about the stars.”

“Floating lights.” You corrected, “And yes, I’m leading up to that.”

“Because I really thought we dropped the issue, sweetheart.”

“No, Mother, I’m just saying, you think I’m not strong enough to handle myself out there.”

“Oh, darling. I know you’re not strong enough to handle yourself out there.” She looked over her shoulder at you.

“But if you just-”

“Y/N, we’re done talking about this.”

“Trust me! I know what I’m-”

“Y/N.” 

You reached for the chair holding your wardrobe closed. “Oh, come on!”

“Enough with the lights, Y/N!” She snapped, “You are not leaving this tower! Ever!” You stopped, blinking up at Midnight. You knew it was true, you always did. You knew that you weren’t going to be allowed to leave ever, but hearing her say it. Hearing her confirm it, hit hard. Your heart sunk into the deepest part of your stomach at the reality of the situation, the anger that flashed across her face, behind her eyes. You weren’t leaving ever.

Your mother plopped herself down onto a chair, “Ugh, great. Now I’m the bad guy.” She groaned, propping her head up on her hand. You drew your eyes away from her, gaze trailing up to your latest painting of yourself. Your heart ached with longing, your body filling with envy at yourself in that painting. You were never going to have what she had and you made her. You were never going to know the purpose of those lights, you were never going to know anything. And maybe... it was for the best.

“All I was gonna say, Mother, is that… I know what I want for my birthday now.” You stepped in front of the chair propped up against the wardrobe.

“And what is that?”

You hugged yourself, heart heavy as you looked at her. “New paint.” You simply said, “The paint made from the white shells you once brought me.”

“Well, that is a very long trip, Y/N. Almost three days’ time.”

“I just thought it was a better idea than the stars.” She thought about it for a moment before heaving a heavy sigh.

“You’re sure you’ll be alright on your own?” She stood from her seat and approached you.

You wrapped your arms around her in an embrace as she lifted her hands to pet your head, “I know I’m safe as long as I’m here.” She pressed a kiss to the top of your head and with that, you helped her prepare for her three day trip.

Seeing her off, you watched from the window as she headed for the opening of the cave that led to the tower. She stopped and turned to wave at you, to which you waved back before darting back inside in search for your frying pan.

Hesitantly, you approached the chair propped up against the wardrobe, carefully tugging it back and hiding behind it to pull yourself together with a deep breath.

“Okay.” You whispered to yourself as you took your hair and used it to pull open the wardrobe from your spot safely behind your chair.

You watch as the stranger’s limp body falls forward from the wardrobe and faceplants right in front of you. You gasp a little, watching him lying there before his body slowly slides forward so he’s fully lying on his front on the floor. 

Proceeding with caution, you approach the unconscious stranger before letting out a soft, “Huh.” and looking around to figure out what to do with him.

You’d settled on setting him up in the chair and tying him down with your hair. Tugging him into the center of the room, directly under the light coming in from the sky light in the roof, interrogation style. Mimi was perched around his shoulders, curiously examining his unconscious face before attempting to wake him up for you. First, she tried pawing at his face, letting out a soft ‘meow’. When he didn’t budge, she glared at him a little with her feline eyes and swatted harder at his face before jumping back in a flash of fear. Once she realized that he still wasn’t waking up, she got bolder and pawed and swatted at him some more, even letting out an intimidating hiss. Still, with no response, Mimi went with a last resort decision and opted to lick his ear, effectively waking him up. He let out a groan of distaste and looked over at the cat in his state of drowsiness.

“The hell…” He grumbled upon seeing her and she rolled her eyes with sass in response before hoping off his shoulders. “Strange…” He mumbled before looking around, taking in his surroundings for a moment and looking down at his hands that were strapped down with… hair? Struggling against his restraints, his gaze followed the trail of hair leading from his chair. “Is this hair?” 

“Struggling… Struggling is pointless.” You informed from one of the support beams of the roof. He looked confused as he tried to see where your voice was coming from.

“Huh?” You climbed down from the roof, gracefully landing on the floor as his eyes followed your venture down. Even though he saw you climb down, you still tried to hide and sound intimidating.

“I know why you’re here, and I’m not afraid of you.” You spoke, trying to put on a brave face, but only continued to further confuse him.

“What?”

You stepped out of the shadows and into the light, still wielding your frying pan, “Who are you? And how did you find me?”

“Aha…” He stammered, looking at you strangely. 

“Who are you, and how did you find me.” You reeled back your frying pan, enunciating your words with a more firm tone. A warning indeed. You were not afraid to start swinging again. 

He cleared his throat before speaking, “I know not who you are, nor how I came to find you. But may I just say…” He took on a dramatic tone before pausing and putting on a grin, “Hi.” You furrowed your brows, deeply confused and unimpressed. Is this… some sort of tactic…? Or is he just not all there…? “How you doing? The name’s Hawks.” Your gaze darted around as he continued, keeping your guard up, “How’s your day going? Huh?”

You scoffed in annoyance and confusion. What’s his game here? “Who else knows my location,” You gestured your frying pan at him, making him lean back away. “Hawks?”

“Alright, snow white.”

“Y/N.” You corrected.

“Gesundheit. Here’s the deal.” Hawks starts, “I was in a situation, gallivanting through the forest. I came across your tower and…” He stopped, seemingly realizing something. He looked around, slightly panicked. “Oh! Oh, no. Where is my satchel?” 

You crossed your arms, looking at him with an arch of your brow, knowing you now have leverage. “I’ve hidden it. Somewhere you’ll never find it.”

“It’s in that pot, isn’t it?” He pointed out after looking around for a moment. To which, you knock him out once more with your frying pan. Brain damage be damned!

By the time he woke up again, Mimi was mid lick up his ear. With a shout, Mimi was knocked off his shoulder once more. She let out a hiss and a meow as Hawks tried to wipe his ear off against the fabric of his vermilion vest he wore.

“Would you stop doing that!?” He exclaimed, glaring at the cat as she sat herself down and began licking at her paw, grooming herself, unbothered.

“Now, it’s hidden where you’ll never find it.” He grumbled at you as you began walking around him with a flip of your hair. “So, what do you want with my hair? To cut it?” You waved your frying pan around carelessly before threatening him with it as you walked around him. 

“What?”

“Sell it?”

“No! Listen, the only thing I want to do with your hair is to get out of it, literally.” 

“You…” You stopped, slightly put off by his admission. “Wait. You don’t want my hair?”

“Why on earth would I want your hair.” He spoke, gesturing his hands around. “Look, I was being chased, I saw a tower, I climbed it. End of story.”

You were hesitant to accept this as the truth, afterall Midnight did warn you that men were evil and out to get you for your hair. You couldn’t tell if he was being deceitful or truthful. “You’re telling the truth?”

“Yes!” You waved your frying pan out to him, watching him skeptically as Mimi came up to you and circled around your feet, also glaring skeptically at the man called Hawks. The cat jumped up on his lap, tail swishing around behind her and stood against his chest, eyeing him intimidatingly as he stared back, slightly confused and taken aback. She growled low at him before jumping into your arms, keeping a watchful glare on him. He watched as you walked away from him, turning around so you could whisper to Mimi, her tilting her head and meowing in response.

“I know. I need someone to take me.” You whispered as she gave soft mews of assurance. “I think he’s telling the truth too.” You agreed. Mimi’s senses were never wrong. “He doesn’t have fangs.” She continued giving her responses, Hawks was trying to see what you were doing behind you, but was restricted to the chair as you talked to your cat. “But what choice do I have?” You sighed, finally coming to a decision and turning to him as he rocked in his chair, but you trusted that he wouldn’t break free. “Okay, Hawks. I’m prepared to offer you a deal.” You announced, beginning to walk away, tugging him along to face you.

“Deal?”

“Look here.” You began climbing up the archway to your most recent painting, the pull on your hair causing Hawks to spin around and fall over. You reached for the drapes hiding your painting, “Do you know what these are?” 

He looked at your painting from his place on the floor. “You mean the lantern thing they do for the princess?” This information brought you relief. So you weren’t crazy. They really aren’t stars!

“Lanterns? I knew they weren’t stars.” You whispered to yourself, internally jumping for joy at the confirmation. “Well, tomorrow evening, they will light the night sky with these lanterns.” You pointed your frying pan at Hawks, “You will act as my guide, take me to these lanterns, and return me home safely. Then, and only then, will I return your satchel to you. That is my deal.” You wager, not taking any negotiations.

Hawks adjusted himself on the ground to lay on his side in the chair instead of his face with a grunt. “Yeah. No can do. Unfortunately the kingdom and I aren’t exactly simpatico at the moment, so I won’t be taking you anywhere.” He rejected, making you stare at him for a moment. You were dead set on seeing those lanterns, and he was going to take you to see them, buddies with the kingdom or not. You didn’t care. You looked over a Mimi, curious of her opinion, to which she tapped her paw against the other in a threatening manner, encouraging you to rock em sock em if he didn’t comply with your terms.

You jumped down from the archway and grabbed up your hair to begin tugging him toward you. “Something brought you here, Hawks.” You pulled him back upright. “Call it what you will, fate, destiny…”

“A horse.” He interjected, but you ignored him in favor of pulling him toward you.

“So I have made the decision to trust you.”

“A horrible decision, really.” He deadpanned as you kept going.

“But trust me when I tell you this.” You pulled him forward, tilting his chair and slamming your palm into the back of it to hold him steady and draw him close. “You could tear this tower apart brick by brick, but without my help, you will never find your precious satchel.” You spoke in a serious tone, actually putting him off for a moment at your determination.

He cleared his throat before speaking, “Let me just get this straight. I take you to see the lanterns, bring you back home, and you’ll give me my satchel back?” It sounded like he was actually considering the idea.

“I promise.” He looked at you skeptically. “And when I promise something, I never ever break that promise.” He raised a brow, encouraging you to further convince him. “Ever.” Mimi meowed in agreement.

“Alright, listen. I didn’t want to have to do this, but you leave me no choice. Here comes the smolder.” He looked down and looked back up at you with a face, making you raise a brow, completely unimpressed by his antics. He stared at you for a moment, noticing that it wasn’t working at all, “This is kind of an off day for me. This doesn’t normally happen.” He finally broke the face he was putting on and gave in, caving to your proposition, “Fine! I’ll take you to see the lanterns.”

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[keelywolfe]

FIC: The Royal We ch.5

Summary: Finally the concluding chapter of 'The Royal We'! Wonder what's gonna happen here, hmmmm.

Tags:  Spicyhoney, Kustard, Established Relationships, Angst, Hurt/Comfort

Part of the ‘by any other name’ series.

~~*~~

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Read it here!

Edge woke far later than normal to the sound of the shower running. He jerked halfway upright in the bed, briefly disoriented, before the events of the day before came back to him in a rush. The baby shower planning, the discussion with Stretch about having children, or rather not having them, Janice’s son getting lost, and learning that Stretch’s abilities as a Judge allowed him see Monster souls, including his own.

Small wonder he’d overslept, Any one of those things would be tiring but put together it was entirely too much for a single day, particularly one where he and Stretch finally came upstairs in the wee hours of the morning, barely taking the time to shed their clothes before flopping together into their bed.

At least Stretch seemed to be somewhat recovered if he were up to taking a shower. Edge sank back against the mattress, kicking the blankets from his feet as he stretched with joint-popping bliss, luxuriating in a moment of uncommon laziness. As stressful as the day before had been it had also been cathartic in some ways, certain issues clouded between him and Stretch discussed then cleared away.

This morning his leg felt fine even without the brace, without even a trace of a pain. It was actually healing as the doctor promised it would, despite Edge’s occasional loose interpretation of their directions, and as time passed it would keep getting better until the injury was only a memory and an occasional ache on very cold days.

Getting back to normal, that was all. The term ‘normal’ when it came to their lives was certainly up for creative interpretation, but it honestly felt like they were getting to it. Of course, that was dependent on nothing new cropping up in their lives and it surely would. It didn’t matter, whatever came he and Stretch would face it together.

Thinking of togetherness, Edge rolled out of bed and made his way to the ensuite bathroom. Muffled strains of music were coming through the closed door and when he opened it, it poured out, bright and pop-cheerful. Behind the shower curtain, oblivious to his audience, Stretch was singing along. He’d always have a lovely singing voice, husky sweet and pitch perfect but it was the lyrics gave Edge a pause.

“i’d get down on my knees, i’d do anything for you…ohhhh, i don’t want anybody else, when i think about you, i touch myself…”

Well, that was an invitation if he’d ever heard one.

Edge only took long enough to strip of his pajamas, casting them off in a rare messy pile on the floor before sliding around the shower curtain. He was ready for Stretch to yelp and jump, catching him before he could slip on the wet porcelain. His lovely bones were slick with water and soap and he was blinking through the spray, his pale eye lights still bright from the surprise.

“holy shit, babe,” Stretch sputtered, licking water from his teeth. “a little warning would be nice!”

Edge only shifted Stretch in his arms, settling him with his spine pressed firmly against Edge’s chest. At his silent urging, Stretch let his head drop back against Edge’s shoulder, huffing a groan as Edge murmured against his skull. “And miss the chance to sweep you off your feet?”

“you can get in your gropes without giving me a—oooh,” Stretch broke off and Edge smirked, mouthing lightly at his scapula as his hands wandered lower, his bare fingers seeking out places he knew were sensitive, pressing and stroking until Stretch shivered in his arms despite the heat of the water pouring down on them.

“What was that?” Edge crooned. “I couldn’t quite hear.”

“baaaaaabe,” Stretch moaned. He squirmed, his pelvis scraping tantalizingly against Edge’s. “this isn’t fair.”

“No? I was only trying to confirm the truth of your statement,” and before Stretch could ask, “Do you, then? Touch yourself when you think about me?”

“heh.” That squirm turned into a deliberate grind and Edge caught his breath, “want a demonstration?”

As it turned out, by the time Stretch was finished ‘demonstrating’, they both needed another shower and Edge was never more pleased to have splurged on their hot water heater. The chance to hold Stretch in his arms for longer without any chilly surprises was well worth the extra cost.

~~*~~

It was a few hours later that Edge was finishing buttoning his shirt, giving his husband a sideways look where he was still sprawled out on the bed, entirely naked except for a single sock that was still sagging at the ankle. The other was in his hand, waiting for its owner to either work up the energy to put it on or to abandoned it to its lonely fate.

Tipping the scales in favor of wearing might be in order. “Are you planning on putting that sock on or do you need longer to bond?”

“i’ll put it on as soon as i can feel my feet,” Stretch sighed out dreamily, “babe, you sure know how to make an entrance.”

“In a variety of ways,” Edge said serenely. “I do well with entrances.” He sat on the side of the bed next to Stretch and leaned in to give him a lingering kiss before snatching up the sweatshirt beside him and dropping it on his head. “Come on, get dressed, we need to check on the chickens. I believe there may have been an event we missed.”

Stretch lurched upright, fighting his way out of the clinging folds of the sweatshirt to give Edge a stricken look, “fuck, i forgot!” The sweatshirt was only half on when he started for the door and he was still struggling to pull it over his skull when he made for the stairs.

“Pants!” Edge shouted after him. Their neighbors asked so little of them and he really didn’t think that no unexpected nudity was an unreasonable request.

A shout floated back up, “bring ‘em with you and i’ll get the coffee going!”

Edge only shook his head and retrieved a clean pair of track pants from their dresser. However this might end, at least it would be with a reasonable amount of dignity.

Well, that might be a tall ask of Stretch and if he couldn’t be clothed in dignity, pants would have to do, so long as it wasn’t the bare minimum.

Edge stifled his grin and headed for the stairs, pants in hand and ready to share that particular witticism with his husband. Anytime was a good time for pun to Stretch, but over morning coffee held a certain brewtiful appeal.

It was with puns exchanged (among them was Stretch declaration that so many jokes this early was a latte to handle) and coffee in hand that they finally made their way to the chicken coop to investigate yesterday’s happenings. The morning air was still tinged cool, only hinting at the afternoon’s predicted warmth and Stretch shuffled through the fallen leaves to the coop door where Noodle and Dumpling were already waiting impatiently for the bringer of their breakfast.

“yeah, sorry, gals,” Stretch set his coffee cup down outside the coop before opening the door. He leaned over to give them each a brief pat before heading to the feed trough. “i know, we’re running late. let’s get you fed before checking on your sis, okay?”

“I wouldn’t get your hopes too far up,” Edge cautioned. He set his cup alongside Stretch's and followed him inside. “I can’t even calculate the odds of her not only finding a fertilized egg but also managing to hatch it.” Her finding an egg at all was a question that Edge already decided not to look into too deeply.

“i can calculate it and trust me, it’s a lot of decimal points. don’t worry,” Stretch said as he measured out a scoopful of feed. “i won’t. not even sure i wanna meet whatever’s supposed to come out of the cryptid egg she stole. hope nugget isn’t too disappointed when her basilisk doesn’t hatch.”

The sound of feed pouring into the trough was enough to summon the smallest of their wayward poultry. Nugget poked her small head through the coop’s door flap, chirring inquisitively, and then darting out to beeline right for the feed. Hungry indeed, she didn’t detour even briefly in Edge’s direction, intent on her pursuit of tasty grains.

But it wasn’t Nugget that had their attention. Behind her, coming from the coop was a faint sound, a peeping reminiscent of those Edge heard on the farm back when he was considering whether to invest in chickens of their own. Stretch only stood frozen, staring at the coop door and Edge was the one who finally opened it and stepped inside.

They’d persuaded Nugget to abandon the plastic bucket she’d nested in for one of the coop boxes, lining it with soft hay and that was where the sound was coming from. The single caged bulb overhead didn’t provide much light and Edge peered into the darkened nest, his sockets narrowed. Nearly buried into the hay was a tiny ball of yellow fluff. Edge reached for it, scooping it cautiously into his hands and bringing it out into the light.

Stretch hovered over his shoulder anxiously, “is that…what is it?”

From the rounded cup of his hands, a tiny, billed head poked out. Webbed feet shifted against his palm as the little creature peeped anxiously, its eyes dark against the bright yellow fluff.

“it’s a duckling! holy shit!” Stretch managed to keep his delight to a muted squeal, reaching out with cautiously grabby hands. Very carefully, Edge deposited it into his hands, watching as the little bird settled against the warm bones. “this is way better than a basilisk!”

“I believe the neighbors will agree,” Edge said dryly, watching as Stretch very gently inspected their newest acquisition, petting that feathery softness. “Is it male or female?”

Stretch rolled his eye lights. “welp, all the years i spent studying physics instead of zoology are letting us down here, babe. i’ve barely got ‘duck’ cleared, if you want a more detailed report, you’re gonna have to hire a pro.”

“Understood,” Edge said. He looked out the door at their backyard, freshly layered in falling leaves. “What on earth are we going to do with a duck?”

Stretch only held the little duckling closer to his chest with a gasp, “we can’t get rid of it!”

“Of course not,” Edge said, exasperated, “I’m not suggesting we drop it off at the local livestock orphanage, it was a legitimate question. We’ll need to make arrangements for it, ducks may have different nutritional needs than chickens. It will need some sort of pond to swim in and—” He broke off as Stretch gave him a look. “What?”

That gentle smile matched the softness in Stretch’s eye lights as they briefly flashed into hearts, shining with love, “nothing, babe. you’re really gonna let me keep cheese?”

Edge blinked. “Did you just call that duckling ‘Cheese’?”

“yeah.” Stretch grinned. “short for cheese and quackers.”

“Oh, for—” Edge sighed. “I walked right into that one.”

“headfirst,” Stretch agreed. “don’t feel bad, i left the door wide open.” At that moment Nugget came wandering back into the coop and started to make concerned motherly noises. Stretch hastily set the duckling, no, Cheese back into the nesting box. Nugget hopped up into it, squirming back to bury her child beneath the bulk of her feathery warmth.

“guess introductions are over.” Lacking a tiny duckling to hold, Stretch settled for flinging his arms around Edge and giving him a hard squeeze. “c’mon, hot coffee waits for no fowl and cold coffee is foul, so let’s get ours.”

“You’re an endless font of hilarity, love.” Edge followed him out and the two of them retrieved their cups. By unspoken agreement, they settled to sit at the patio, sipping their coffee as the trees rustled softly around them.

His phone buzzed, breaking the silence, and Edge checked it to see a text from Papyrus. Ah, another loose end from yesterday’s tapestry to tie up. He opened the text to find not a jumbled of excited words but a picture. Of Undyne in a hospital bed, looking both weary and elated, Alphys at her side, but it was the small bundle in their arms that drew Edge’s gaze.

The only thing visible from the swaddling of striped blankets was the child’s face, the same deep blue skin tone as their mother and a small tuft of red fronds falling over their forehead. Childbirth seemed to have left a certain squashed quality to that face that hadn’t had time yet to fade, puffy cheeks and swollen eyes, and as Edge studied the picture another text came through.

It’s a girl!

A girl, a little niece to spoil and teach, and Edge could already picture her toddling along and joining the other children as they followed Stretch around very much like ducklings as he taught them science and experiments, spending his weekends building snowmen and painting excited faces. Without making any undue assumptions, Edge could imagine the formidable child that Undyne and Papyrus’s genes would produce and the adventures that might come of it, the coming years would certainly be interesting and—

“is that the baby?”

Almost, Edge twitched his phone away before Stretch could see the picture. But none of yesterday's upset or melancholy appeared, Stretch only looked at it with an appropriate expression of interest, smiling widely.

“aww, what a cutey,” Stretch cooed. “tell undyne she does good work.”

“I will,” Edge agreed, and did so. Before he set his phone aside, another picture came through, this time with Papyrus holding the baby, the very vision of a delighted uncle and why his arm was in a sling, Edge decided not to ask. The story of Undyne’s labor and delivery was likely an epic one and not to be heard before plenty of coffee. He was nearly ready for a second cup when Stretch spoke again.

“so,” Stretch began. He shuffled his feet against the porch, his coffee cup held tightly in both hands. “you wanna get started on the pond today?”

Edge smiled faintly. “Of course, love, best to get it ready before Cheese needs it.”

He watched as Stretch lit up, equally delighted by his answer and his ready use of Stretch’s chosen name. It was hardly more ridiculous than Noodle, Nugget, and Dumpling, and besides, their baby deserved the best, too, did it not?

A pond and some research into their little duckling’s needs, that was the challenge for the day and Edge was more than up for it, so long as Stretch was by his side.

Edge set his cup on the table and reached over to take Stretch’s hand in his, slender fingers tangling with his own. He ran his thumb over Stretch’s wedding band, the smooth metal body-warm. Together, no matter what, and Edge was ready for that adventure as well and any that came along with it, for the rest of his life.

Even when it included unexpected additions.

-finis

[seasonofthegeek]

Camp Fake It Til You Make It

This drabble featuring Alya and Kim is an anonymous ko-fi request from the fanfic trope mash-ups featuring the prompts “summer camp AU” and “fake dating”. Thanks so much for the support, Nonny!

___

“Please, Al, pretty please with a cherry on top,” Kim begged, following Alya from table to table as she put down cabin place cards for the campers that would be arriving soon. “I’m literally begging you. I can get on my hands and knees if you really want. I can even put my big toe in my ear if that helps.”

Alya paused her task long enough to look back at him and raise an eyebrow. “In what way would that help?”

He blinked. “I don’t know, but it’s what I’ve got to offer. It usually makes people laugh.”

She shook her head. “I don’t think it’s a good idea.” She pushed past him to start on the next row of tables.

"Why?”

“Because it feels weird and it would be lying for no good reason.”

“The very good reason is because Ondine’s dating the guy running the obstacle course and I’m going to look like a loser to everyone if I’m single now and she’s already moved on when we were engaged last summer.”

“Why do you even care what people think?”

Kim slumped down on one of the benches and watched Alya continue to wind through the tables. “I don’t know. I never have before but...” He scrunched his nose. “I guess maybe I’m still not over her.”

“Well, duh.”

“Hey.”

Alya dropped the remaining place cards on one of the tables with a sigh and made her way back to Kim, taking the bench opposite his. “I thought you guys parted on good terms.”

“We did, I guess, but...but they were mostly her terms,” he shrugged. “I’m not mad at her or anything because it would’ve been bad to get married when she wasn’t into it, but I still miss her.”

“You might be a little smarter than I gave you credit for.” She winked when she saw his frown and was glad to see it smooth into a small smile though it still held an edge of sadness. “I guess I’m just wondering how it’s going to help you if everyone thinks we’re dating. You’re still going to be upset about Ondine, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, I guess,” he admitted, “but I’m trying not to be.”

“It’s okay to be upset if you aren’t a butthead about it, but is this just something to try to make her jealous?”

Kim shifted uncomfortably. “Not entirely.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Max said getting a fake girlfriend for the summer might help me move on because people were statistically more interested in drama and and me still being single while Ondine isn’t would be more dramatic,” he rambled, “and you’re the only person I can imagine trying to pretend with and it not be weird.”

“It would still be weird.”

“Nu-uh. We’ve known each other, like, forever, and we don’t like each other like that and all you’d have to do is stand near me during meetings and stuff. We already hang out during free time anyway.”

“What about Alix? All the stuff is the same with her too.”

“She’d laugh in my face if I said any of this to her.”

Alya pulled at one of the loose frays from her cut-off jeans. “You promise it won’t get weird?”

“I double doozy promise,” Kim swore.

“And what do I get out of this little deal?”

“Oh, uh, hmmmm. What do you want?”

“A free pass to use you as a fake boyfriend in the future if the need arises. One of my aunts likes to visit and it gets exhausting telling her I’m not seeing anyone.”

Kim beamed at her and held out his hand. “It’s a deal. You’re my fake girlfriend for two and a half months and then I’m your fake boyfriend whenever you need me.”

Alya eyed his big hand warily before placing her own in it. “Deal.”

___

“One of the many perks of being my girlfriend--”

“Fake girlfriend,” Alya reminded him.

Kim continued, nonplussed. “Is that I happen to be an excellent maker of s’mores.” He held a line of marshmallows speared on a steel rod over the open fire.

“You’ve made me s’mores before so I think that’s just something you do.”

“Ah, but Boyfriend Kim’s s’mores are ultimately better than Friend Kim’s s’mores.”

“Well, I guess I’ll be the judge of that.” Alya braced her palms against the edge of the smoothly cut log and leaned back. The fire was almost too much heat on the muggy summer night but it was still nice to look at. “These are always my favorite nights.”

“The ones without the campers?”

“Mmhmm. It’s that nice period between finishing with one set and not dealing with getting ready for the next one just yet. That’s tomorrow Alya’s problem.”

“Yeah, I get that. You had a good group this week though.”

“They were sweet,” she agreed. “How were yours?”

“Fun as hell. I got them to all try to rope swing at the lake and not one of them wussed out.”

“We have different hopes for campers,” she noted. “I’m glad you had fun though.” She caught the odd way he was looking at her and it made her feel...something she wasn’t used to feeling around Kim. She cleared her throat. “You might be too hot.”

“What? Oh!” Kim yelped as the marshmallows caught fire and he dropped the rod into the flames. They both watched the lumps of sugar goodness blacken and fall off.

“So you were saying Boyfriend Kim is better at this? Have you seen him around anywhere?” Alya teased.

___

“I can’t believe you two finally hooked up.” 

Alya glared at Alix who smirked in return. She made the mistake of looking past the smaller woman to see that Alix’s comment had grabbed Ondine’s attention on the other side of the small changing room by the pool. She was doing a poor job of attempting to look like she wasn’t listening to their conversation. Great.

“It’s not a big deal.” Alya jerked the top of her sock up too quickly and heard the fabric let out a pointed ripping sound. She ignored it and picked up her shoe. Alix knew she and Kim weren’t really dating. She’d figured it out the first week of camp so she was obviously doing this for Ondine’s benefit. A month and a half in and Alya had been able to avoid any major awkwardness from the situation and here came the half-pint with hot pink hair to stir the pot.

“I think it’s awesome. He needed someone smart and pretty.” Alix stretched out on the bench, apparently in no hurry to change out of her bathing suit and into her counselor uniform. “I’ve never seen him so happy.”

Alya could feel her face burning and didn’t dare look in Ondine’s direction.  “Yeah, he’s great,” she muttered noncommittally. “You better hurry or your cabin is going to go crazy without you there.”

Alix waved a careless hand. “I got a buncha goody-two-shoes this week. They wouldn’t dare.” She stretched lazily and stood. “But yeah, yeah, I’ll get to it.”

“See you at dinner.” Alya gave her a direct look that she’d seen make lesser people shake but the most reaction she got from Alix was a slight upturn of her mouth. She hurried out of the changing room and ran straight into Ondine who’d been suspiciously loitering right outside the doorway.

“Oh, sorry.” Ondine tucked a short lock of hair behind her ear and a blush was spreading out beneath her freckles. “Um, I couldn’t help but overhear...”

Alya tried to meet her eyes but settled for looking at her nose instead. “Oh?” The word caught in her throat and she held back a grimace.

“I just thought I’d say...well...” She sucked in a loud breath. “I’m glad Kim found you. He’s wonderful and I hate things didn’t work out the way we thought they would, but...oh, but now he has you, and I just think that’s, um, that’s great,” she finished lamely. “So...great for you guys.”

“Thanks,” Alya repled slowly. “I appreciate that.”

Ondine gave her a quick nod and then she was quickly walking past her and out of the gate around the pool. Alya took a moment to gather herself before following the same path but veering away towards the boys’ cabins instead of returning to her own.

Halfway there, she spun on her heels and retreated in the direction of her cabin. Her campers would be waiting for her and she needed to be a responsible counselor. She could fake break-up with her fake boyfriend later.

The more she thought about the situation, the more irritated she became. It’d been unfair of Kim to ask her to play along with his charade. There had been no consideration for her feelings in the whole matter and now she was--

Alya stopped in her tracks, a twig snapping under the heel of her sneaker. Now she was what? Why did she care if Kim was thinking about her feelings? What did that have to do with anything? It wasn’t as if she had feelings about Kim, at least not anything more than friendship feelings.

She didn’t.

She most certainly didn’t.

She started to walk again, but this time slower as if her feet weren’t certain they wanted to reach their destination. It wasn’t as if there was anything wrong with Kim. He was obviously attractive and that dimple in his left cheek that showed up when he smiled was definitely nice to look at. He was goofy but it was endearing and even if he wasn’t exactly smart in the way most people think of, he noticed more in others and their feelings than most people and that was an asset all on its own.

It’s not like falling for Kim would be something to be ashamed of, but Alya didn’t have those kind of feelings towards him. They were friends and fellow camp counselors and fake boyfriend and girlfriend and that was the extent of it. 

That was it.

She was almost sure of it, but the funny feeling in her gut was making her wonder.

___

“I made sure Ondine knew you and Alya are dating.” Alix made air quotes around the last word. “Oi! Manon! If you keep swimming with that lanyard around your neck, you’ll die!” She eyed the young girl in the lake and then nodded in approval when the lanyard was tossed on a float.

Kim went for nonchalant and failed miserably. “How’d she react?”

“I don’t know. Weird. I heard her telling Alya she was happy for you guys, but it sounded all fake.”

“Oh.”

“Don’t tell me you’re going to get back with her if this whole jealousy plan works. Come on, dude. Don’t be dumb.”

“It’s not a jealousy plan.” Kim stood and picked up a stray beach ball that landed on the pier and punted it back out into the lake to the cheers of campers. “It was just supposed to help with the drama.”

“Ah, the drama. This is why I don’t date, well, and like a thousand other reasons.”

He rolled his eyes. “I thought you liked Ondine. You were going to be my better man at the wedding.”

“Which I still say is a step up from being the best man,” she nodded. “Max can shove it.” She flicked at a water beetle that had crawled up the plank towards her hand. “I don’t know. I never had a problem with her, but I don’t like the way she did you so now I don’t like her.”

“Aww, you do care about me,” Kim teased. 

“Shut up.”

His expression grew serious. “I don’t want you to not like her because of that. She didn’t do anything wrong.”

Alix shrugged. “Anyway, what’s the deal with you and Alya?”

“What do you mean? You know the deal.”

“Okay, sure, the deal.” She made air quotes again. “But I’m talking about the real deal that neither one of you want to admit to.”

Kim looked at her in confusion. “Uh, what?”

“You honestly don’t know that you’ve fallen for her?”

The universe was on his side because before Kim was forced to answer, there was a chorus of screams as one of the male campers broke the surface of the water with a bloody gash on his temple from showing off during his jump. Kim stood and went to the edge of the dock to help the laughing boy out of the water.

He didn’t dare look at Alix as he passed by. Her words were still ringing in his ears.

____

“I can’t believe we’re about to start the last week. I feel like this summer went by a lot quicker than the others.” Alya watched Kim force marshmallows onto the roasting rod and frowned. He seemed distracted and irritated and not his usual cheerful self during the campfires they had at the end of each week once the campers left. 

“Yeah, I guess.” He swore under his breath as one of the marshmallows tore and dropped to the ground.

“Do you want some help?”

“No.”

“Okay.” Alya didn’t like the way his quick response made her feel. She’d started looking forward to these nights, counting down the days and hours until every camper left the grounds and she could meet Kim at one of the more hidden fire pits and enjoy a relaxing night with just the two of them. She refused to look too deeply into why she’d grown to love them so much, falling back on the easy answer that it was simply a nice treat after a long week of babysitting. “We don’t have to do this tonight if you’re too tired or something.”

Kim’s head whipped up and he looked at her with wide eyes. “No, I want to.”

She felt taken aback by his expression. “Okay...you just don’t seem like you’re in the best mood.”

He picked up the fallen marshmallow and tossed it into the fire. “Sorry. I think I’m a little bummed we’re at the end already.”

“Is it because I’ve been such a great fake girlfriend?” Alya batted her eyelashes and tried to pretend that she didn’t care what his answer was.

Kim grinned at her but it didn’t have the same spark his smiles usually held.  “Something like that. Was it as bad as you thought it would be?”

She considered it. “The s’mores made up for the awkward bits.”

“I better get to roasting then.” His smile took on more of a genuine feel and that made Alya relax.

“Hop to it, mister.”

He saluted her and finished spearing the marshmallows.

Alya watched him, trying to decide if she wanted to continue in the same conversational direction or change the subject. She opted to be brave. “Do you think your plan worked?”

“Hmmm?”

“Was there less drama since other counselors thought we were dating?”

“There would’ve been less if Alix wasn’t around.” He shook his head. “But yeah, I think it really helped. Thank you.” He met her eyes over the fire and Alya felt like her heart was leaping into her throat. He really was gorgeous.

“It was no big deal,” she answered and was surprised her voice didn’t sound as shaky as she felt.

“I guess you’ll want to fake break up at the end of the week, huh?” Kim watched the marshmallows soften and Alya watched him.

“I...well, that was the deal, I guess.”

“Yeah.”

“But, you know, there will be the counselor appreciation thing like two weeks after we leave here.”

Kim frowned. “I forgot about that.”

“So I guess if we still need to be dating for that, we can be.” Alya bit her lip shyly.

“That would probably be good if you don’t mind.” He met her eyes but then quickly looked back down at the marshmallows as he pulled them away from the flames.

“I don’t mind.”

“Good.” Kim’s lips spread in a wide grin as he began to assemble their s’mores.

Alya echoed and knew she was smiling like an idiot. “Good.”

“And you know, when you look at it that way, next summer really won’t be that far away so it might be easier if--”

“Kim, just ask me out already,” Alya interrupted.

He jumped a little and then beamed at her. “You wanna keep being my fake girlfriend?”

“No.”

“Ah.”

“But for a few s’mores, I could be persuaded to be your real one maybe.”

“Is that so?”

“Eh, we’ll see how the night goes,” she teased, feeling a mixture of embarrassment and excitement.

Buy me a cherry coke?

[rannadylin]

OC Personality Test: Idalia

Tagged by @queen-scribbles and I’m passing on the tag to @aban-ataashi @serenbach86 @lunarowena @risualto!

Here are the rules:

1. Go to this website.

2. Choose an OC and take the test for them.

3. Put their stats here.

I’m doing this for Idalia. I think I had attempted an MBTI test for her earlier in the campaign and got INFP but have had my doubts as her story progressed, and this result seems quite a bit more accurate for her:

Defender (ISFJ-T)

Mind -  This trait determines how we interact with our environment.

3% EXTRAVERTED | 97% INTROVERTED

Yep, no surprise there; I write/play mostly introverts but Dal is the shyest of them all by far! Even shyer than Xipil who also happens to be an ISFJ...

Energy - This trait shows where we direct our mental energy.

41% INTUITIVE | 59% OBSERVANT

Well, she did have plenty of high awareness rolls in the game. This is pretty close to the middle though.

Nature - This trait determines how we make decisions and cope with emotions.

21% THINKING | 79% FEELING

She’s one of those quiet ones with *very deep feelings* that no one else is likely to ever hear about, yep.

Tactics - This trait reflects our approach to work, planning and decision-making.

64% JUDGING | 36% PROSPECTING

I suspect she scored so high on J because she’s such a hard worker and diligent and also just not fond of plans changing in the middle of them and such. (Much as she loves Ona, spending a day with her highly spontaneous Waelite friend would probably wear Dal out!) She was kind of confused when the God Squad was first assigned to go spy on Waidwen but then immediately changed course to go look for Magran’s artifact; being Dal, however, she did not at all speak up about it but it bothered her. (It bothers her even more in retrospect once they found the artifact and it was used to blow up her god, I suppose.)

Identity - This trait underpins all others, showing how confident we are in our abilities and decisions.

28% ASSERTIVE | 72% TURBULENT

Honestly I don’t even know where that 28% came from, has Dal ever been assertive in her life? Well, maybe a little when she attempted that intimidation roll against Yarrow despite not being able to add her glow to it anymore. XD But then - if she’s committed to a course of action - like rescuing her brother - Dal does get a little more assertive to make sure she sticks to it.

Bonus, behind the cut: Some highlights of the ISFJ descriptions that definitely do fit Dal, though there are parts of them that aren’t quite her either, but hey, that’s how personality types go :-D

“Defenders are true altruists, meeting kindness with kindness-in-excess and engaging the work and people they believe in with enthusiasm and generosity.”

Yeeeep. That’s like the basic Idalia definition right there.

“Defenders are found in lines of work with a sense of history behind them, such as medicine, academics and charitable social work.”

Yeah I guess being a priest (pretty well educated for Gilded Vale standards, right?) with healing magic and then later being a cook in a soup kitchen kind of ticks all those boxes...

“Defender personalities (especially Turbulent ones) are often meticulous to the point of perfectionism, and though they procrastinate, they can always be relied on to get the job done on time. Defenders take their responsibilities personally, consistently going above and beyond, doing everything they can to exceed expectations and delight others, at work and at home.”

Hmmmm I hadn’t considered Dal being a perfectionist, but she’s certainly meticulous and reliable. 

“Naturally social, an odd quality for Introverts, Defenders utilize excellent memories not to retain data and trivia, but to remember people, and details about their lives.”

So the idea of Dal as “Naturally social” sounds kind of odd, but she does enjoy interacting one-on-one or in small groups with people she knows well enough. It’s just getting to know them that is so awkward.

Her strengths:

Supportive (”choosing empathy over judgment whenever possible“ yeah that’s pretty much how hearing from her parents the story of why they left her at the temple as a baby went...)

Reliable & Patient

Imaginative & Observant (she sees you blushing, Nona)

Enthusiastic (not a trait we’ve had much chance to see, I must write her a purpose in life to be enthusiastic about now!)

Loyal & Hard-working (”Defender personalities often form an emotional attachment to the ideas and organizations they’ve dedicated themselves to. Anything short of meeting their obligations with good, hard work fails their own expectations.“ yeah she definitely had an emotional attachment to her temple!)

Good Practical Skills (”The best part is, Defenders have the practical sense to actually do something with all this altruism. If mundane, routine tasks are what need to be done, Defenders can see the beauty and harmony that they create, because they know that it helps them to care for their friends, family, and anyone else who needs it.“ Dal is a big fan of mundane, routine tasks that do in fact help others! Like cooking!)

And her weaknesses:

Humble & Shy (yeah this is like Dal 101)

Take Things Too Personally (”Defenders have trouble separating personal and impersonal situations – any situation is still an interaction between two people, after all – and any negativity from conflict or criticism can carry over from their professional to their personal lives, and back again.“ Definitely applies to Yarrow being suspicious of her after Waidwen’s camp!)

Repress Their Feelings (”People with the Defender personality type are private and very sensitive, internalizing their feelings a great deal. Much in the way that Defenders protect others’ feelings, they must protect their own, and this lack of healthy emotional expression can lead to a lot of stress and frustration.“ Ha this also is like Dal 101)

Overload Themselves (“Their strong senses of duty and perfectionism combine with this aversion to emotional conflict to create a situation where it is far too easy for Defenders to overload themselves – or to be overloaded by others – as they struggle silently to meet everyone’s expectations, especially their own.” Aw, poor Dal!)

Reluctant to Change (She really hated leaving her temple!)

Too Altruistic (”Being such warm, good-natured people, Defenders are willing to let things slide, to believe that things will get better soon, to not burden others by accepting their offers of help, while their troubles mount unassisted.” Again, poor Dal!)

I must also quote the bit on Romantic Relationships for ISFJs, because uh...some of these elements may already be in my fic outline for her XD

“When it comes to romantic relationships, Defenders’ kindness grows into a joy that is only found in taking care of their family and home, in being there for emotional and practical support whenever it’s needed. Home is where the heart is for people with the Defender personality type, and in no other area of their lives do they strive with such dedication to create the harmony and beauty they wish to see in the world.

The trouble is, these are the benefits of an established long-term relationship, and Defenders’ unbearable shyness means it can take a long time to reach this point. Defenders are most attractive when they are simply being themselves in a comfortable environment such as work, where their natural flow shows this kindness and dedication. Relationships built on established familiarity are a warm prospect for Defenders – they take dating seriously and only enter into relationships that have a real chance of lasting a lifetime.“

[startrekandwars]

Mistakes

Word Count: 1947

Tags: None

Summary: Ramirhe Jacora gets sidelined because of a single mistake, all while finding out his request for a padawan has been fulfilled at the worst time possible.

AN: This was written for @celebrate-the-clone-wars prompt Unplugged

Ramirhe Jacora has a cybernetic left leg. He lost his leg protecting Senator Alyeil Laygos of Lothal before the clone wars in a speeder accident. Fitting seeing as how his master, Pavi Bevu, ended up losing both of her arms in an explosion while she was still a padawan. Normally his cybernetic isn’t a problem, he does regular maintenance on it between fights and as long as he doesn’t get too much sand in his leg, it works wonderfully. Thus his problem is as follows, he can’t be near EMP pulses if he wants to keep standing in a fight, which includes droid poppers. If he stands too close, his leg gets shut off and he risks falling over because he can no longer balance. This is something all of his men are aware of, and they’re very careful about their usage of droid poppers.

That’s the current problem he has right now. A droid popper didn’t get thrown far enough, and now he can’t move his leg, “Haar’chak!” Ramirhe Jacora, one of the best lightsaber duelists of his generation, felt his leg get zapped and then felt it lock. His balance was only maintained by the fact that he had planted his left leg in his fighting stance, but it wouldn’t last, especially if he tried to shift his weight at all. 

“Who was the di’kitla who threw that droid popper?!” Jasavo had been keeping track of where his General was, and realized that the droid popper was thrown too close to the General. “Bevinn- get the general out of there now!”

Bevinn changed directions on his bike to weave into the droid ranks. “Consider it done, Commander. Hang in there a little bit longer, General.”

“I don’t seem to have a choice, Bevinn.” As Ramirhe said that, he used the force to pull a droid close so that he could slice it in half before he pushed the broken droid into some of its still functioning comrades. It was a risky move that almost led to him falling over. 

Just as he stumbled, Bevinn pulled him onto the speeder. “Welcome aboard, General. Your orders?”

Ramirhe let himself relax some before tightening his grip on his lightsaber, “Get me as close to the droids as you can, Bevinn. Do you have any droid poppers on you?”

“Yes sir.” Bevinn answered, changing direction again before handing the bag of poppers over. “Ba’slan shev’la?”

The red haired Jedi nodded, “We’ll weaken their forces and then retreat.” He then took out three droid poppers and thew them as far as he could into the droid ranks as Bevinn drove. 

Jasavo grinned a little bit under his helmet as he watched Bevinn weave through the droid ranks, “Ba’slan shev’la! The General’s creating a distraction. And Then I Want To Know Who Threw That Droid Popper So Close To The General!” He climbed onto his own speeder bike to help thin out some more droids and pick up an injured clone trooper. “Hang in there, vod. We’ll get you medical treatment soon enough.”

“Thank you sir,” Coil mumbled, leaning into his commanding officer. “I think I may have thrown that droid popper sir.”

“Easy, Coil. We’ll ask Blow later.I don’t think it was you. You know better than to do that and I didn’t see you take any droid poppers when we left.” 

The Commander slowed down as he got to their ‘base’. Really it was a well defended encampment they set up. The Bes’bavar try to be as efficient as they can be. “Baar’ur- Coil needs medical treatment.”

Baar’ur looked up from one of the other clones and winced when he saw Coil with the shrapnel in his side. “I’ll get right on that, Commander. Also when you see the general, tell him that Admiral Shul needs to speak to him.”

“I’ll be seeing him soon, I have to fix his leg.” The commander grabbed his tools and watched as Bevinn parked his bike before helping the general walk over. “General- are you alright?”

“Outside of my leg, I’m fine. If it weren’t for your quick thinking or Bevinn’s fancy driving I might not be standing here to talk to you,” he answered before sitting down on a crate. “Just tell me you can fix it, Jasavo.” He rolled up his pant leg so that the commander could see the cybernetic prosthetic.

The Commander took his helmet off and then started to take off the outer casing, “I should be able to. Since droid poppers cause EMP blasts, I should just have to jump your leg... it will hurt though.” The nerves that the leg connect to would get the same shock that the cybernetic needs to turn back on, sending shooting pain through the General’s leg. “We could also wait and see if it will wear off.”

“No, we don’t have the time to wait for it to cycle back on.” Ramirhe looked at Jasavo and then smiled, “It’s alright, Jasavo. I trust you.”

“I’m glad. I just don’t want to get kicked in the head because of this,” he half mumbled as he set up the jump. Without warning the jedi, he powered it on, sending a strong shock through the cybernetic.

“Haar’chak that hurts like hell- What happened to warning me about shocking the leg?” Ramirhe had gripped the side of the crate the moment Jasavo shocked his leg. “Thank you for fixing my leg but was that necessary?”

“K’atini. With all due respect, suck it up, general. You’d think I did something more than just rebooting your leg.” The clone grinned as he started to do more repairs on the cybernetic, “Necessary? No, but you’re less likely to try to move the leg if I don’t warn you. I’m going to do some other minor repairs since you’re sitting here still. And the Admiral needs to speak with you apparently.”

“Hmmmm, I’ll answer that now then.” Ramirhe pulled out the holoprojector from his sleeve and turned it on, “Admiral. You need to speak with me?”

Brisco Shul is a fairly well built man who is generally very kind. Today, however, he appears to be very serious. “Indeed. A youngling is insisting that she is your padawan and should be allowed to go down to the planet’s surface with you.”

The young girl in question was a Rattataki, and she looked defiantly at Ramirhe, “Master Ramirhe Jacora? I am Padawan Learner Aubewem. The council has assigned me to be your new padawan, and Admiral Shul isn’t letting me go down to the surface.”

“That... may be for the best at the moment, Padawan.” He winced as Jasavo realigned something in the prosthetic. “We’re a little busy down here and it’s not save to fly to our landing zone. After we meet up with Master Bageeh’s forces- then you can land and we can meet properly.” Ramirhe hated putting this off, but he wasn’t going to make any of his men fly in this. “I shall contact you personally when it’s safe, Aubewem. Haat, Ijaa, Haa’it. I promise.” 

She studied her new master’s face before nodding, “Very well, Master Jacora... I’ll... watch the Admiral quietly then.”

“That sounds agreeable.” Ramirhe stood up once Jasavo had gently tapped his prosthetic to give the okay. “Admiral, I shall contact you the moment Master Bageeh and I have begun our final assault. Ret’urcye mhi, Admiral.”

“Oh we shall certainly meet  again, General Jacora.” Brisco ended the transmission, leaving Ramirhe staring at a holoprojector for a few moments.

Bevinn ran over from the speeders and stood in front of the two, “General, good to see you back on your feet. General Bageeh’s made his move sir. The Droid Army is completely cut off. We won’t get.a better chance to defeat them.”

“Well, then let’s get going.” Ramirhe jumped onto the closest walker after taking a few test steps. “Bes’bavar- It’s time to make our final move! I only have one real order for you since you all know your assignments- k’oyacyi!” Stay alive was always the final order he gave. As always, it was met with a a chorus of yes sirs as they moved out. 

Once again, there was the sound of blaster fire and tank fire as they once again confronted the droid army. This time, he could see two sets of blue blaster fire, signifying that the droid army was indeed cut off from further support. “Well done, Master Bageeh. Well done indeed.” 

Ramirhe Jumped into the air, grabbing onto a droid’s flying speeder and kicked the droid off, flying into the chaos of the fight and using his lightsaber to deflect incoming blaster fire. He had noticed that his leg felt stiff when he jumped but he tried to pass that off as residual stiffness from when it had locked earlier.

“Master Jacora, it is good to see that the Bes’bavar really do enjoy acting as the calvary,” Arif’s amused voice crackled over their commlinks. “I was expecting you to have already been in combat though.”

“You’ll have to forgive me, Master Bageeh. I ran into a little problem with my leg. I had to call a tactical retreat or risk dying, and I made a promise to a certain senator that I would come back alive.” Ramirhe countered lightly Jumping from his small speeder to one of the Vulture droids that flew by. He landed heavier than he would have liked. “And I might still be having problems with my leg. If you’ll excuse me.” Ramirhe’s lightsaber was the only thing keeping him on the Vulture droid as it spun. “Jasavo- there’s still something wrong with my leg.”

“Sir- Kriff how did you get on a Vul- never mind. Try to get on one of the walkers. We can finish this without you getting hurt because of your leg. I’ll run a full diagnostic after the fight.” Jasavo could have sworn he did all of the necessary repairs but its possible he missed an underlying problem. 

The vulture droid Ramirhe was barely hanging on to, ended up getting shot down by another vulture droid, leading to Ramirhe barely sliding off in time before he got caught in another explosion. He rolled through the sand and felt something break in his prosthetic before he responded to Jasavo. “I may have to take your advice, Commander. Bevinn I need a pick up. Again.” 

“I’m on it sir, I was heading towards you anyways. It Looks like General Bageeh has it covered though.” Bevinn commented, once again weaving through the fight to get to his general.

“That’s good.” Ramirhe opened his holoprojector. “We’re making our final move Admiral. The fight should be over shortly.”

“I understand, General. I’ll send your padawan down once we’re done up here,” Brisco answered before hanging up again. If Ramirhe were anyone else he would be insulted, instead he was just amused.

Bevinn held out his hand for the mandalorian jedi to take, “Sir.”

“I think I broke something else in my leg. Thank you for picking me up, Bevinn.” He accepted the hand and climbed onto the speeder, his left leg not moving at all.

“Not a problem, general. Let’s finish this.” The Lancer then started up the speeder, fully trusting his general to keep them from getting shot at from behind. 

Just as soon as the fighting had begun again, it ended with a full surrender. “Finally... now I can get my leg properly repaired.” Ramirhe stayed on the speeder as he heard  and watched the clones celebrate their victory, and he couldn’t help but smile. Not all was lost, even if he was pretty sure his prosthetic was done for.

[dumbpissfiend]

Lala Omorashi Pt. 2 (Monster Musume)

Lala was doing her best to keep it from showing, but she was giddy with anticipation. Today was the release of a movie that was like a dream: based on her favorite horror novel by one of her favorite writers, directed by one of her top five filmmakers, with a stellar cast bringing it to life. When it had first been announced, she'd thought it was too good to be true. She'd reserved a ticket as soon as they went on sale, and had applied for a solo-activities pass months in advance (there was just something she appreciated about the experience of going to a movie by herself). Everything was in order, she'd arrived at the theater a full 20 minutes early, and as she situated herself in her seat with her popcorn and drink, she was practically bouncing off the walls with excitement. With so much time left to kill, she dropped a handful of popcorn down her throat followed by a small pour of her drink. The latter made her conscious of her bladder. She wasn't remotely full, but was reminded that she hadn't gone before leaving the house, and she quickly made her way to the bathroom while she still had time. She sighed contentedly as she emptied her bladder, and was glad that she'd thought of this before the previews started. She didn't want any distractions.

However, this was to prove beyond her control. While she was out of the theater for her quick pre-movie pee, two other patrons made their way into the theater and took their seats, one directly behind where Lala was sitting, the other a few rows back: none other than Doppel and Zombina of M.O.N. Sure, Lala had been well-behaved since moving into the Kurusu household, but as a well-documented flight risk, when the dullahan's request for a solo-activities pass had come across Ms. Smith's desk, she'd taken precautions and ordered the zombie and shapeshifter to keep an eye on her. A simple enough task. And that was what bothered Doppel about it. She wasn't much of a cinephile, and, being ever-mischievous as she was, had resolved to entertain herself for the evening at Lala's expense, and Zombina, no saint herself, had agreed to help her.

Lala returned from the bathroom, paying little to no heed to the nondescript man now sitting behind her, certainly never suspecting it was actually Doppel in disguise. The previews were now starting, and Lala set her head in her lap for more convenient access to her popcorn and beverage. She once again took a few morsels of popcorn and dropped them down her neck, followed by a small sip of her drink. But what she didn't realize was, as she did so, Doppel poured some of her own drink, purchased expressly for this purpose, down Lala's throat as well. She was careful to match Lala's own timing and volume so as not to arouse suspicion, but she knew that even if she was only approximately doubling the amount of liquid intake, that would add up fast, and she grinned wickedly in anticipation of where this evening would go.

Once the movie started the pattern continued on without incident for some time. Lala would distractedly snack and drink as her head gazed at the screen from her lap, enraptured, and Doppel kept on top of filling Lala's bladder faster than she realized. After about 45 minutes of this, Doppel noticed Lala's body occasionally shifting its weight and rocking back and forth ever so slightly. This stoked the mischievous fire in her eyes and afterwards she grew more daring with her pours; still not enough to catch Lala's attention, but likely tripling the amount she was drinking rather than doubling it. At an hour and a half into the film, Lala's fidgeting became more pronounced, and she finally unconsciously crossed one leg over another, toppling her head to the side of her chair. Shocked and discombobulated, Lala picked herself up and was about to set herself back in her lap, but the shock had finally made her realize what the movie had been distracting her from so well: she REALLY had to pee. She couldn't account for how full her bladder was. Sure, she'd been drinking fairly regularly, but she'd deliberately tried to do so in moderation, knowing she didn't want to be forced to miss any of the movie by something as silly as her bladder. However, she didn't have time to wonder how she'd gotten so full, as she uncrossed her legs to set her head back on her lap, a wave of desperation sent one of her hands flying to her crotch. Her head blushed in her lap, and she contemplated what to do in this situation. She could tell the movie was approaching its climax, and felt like she could hold it until the end. However, now that she was definitely aware of her bladder, it was seriously distracting her from what was happening on screen, and maybe it was silly, but she'd been looking forward to this for a long time and didn't want to spend the last part of it thinking about how badly she needed to pee.

Suddenly, she had an idea. It was risky, and she hesitated a good moment before acting on it. Separating her head from her body inevitably led to problems, but desperate times called for desperate measures. She took a deep breath and thought carefully through the route to the toilets in her mind. They weren't far from her theater, and if she picked her way slowly along the wall, she was confident she could make it there and relieve herself without any trouble. That in mind, she set her head down in her chair, and willed her body to the door as quickly as she could while keeping her pale blue thighs pressed tightly together. She did her best to focus on the rest of the movie while feeling her way along the wall to the bathroom. Thus distracted, she didn't even notice another patron come down from the back rows and leave immediately after her body.

Doppel silently chuckled to herself. She hadn't been 100% sure this is what the dullahan would do, but she was glad she'd planned for it. This was where Zombina came in. She followed Lala's body out into the hall, and when she saw her blindly feeling her way down the wall, taking small, tight, waddly steps, she couldn't help but grin. She wasn't as much of a prankster as Doppel, but she had to admit this was fun. She'd been getting kinda antsy removed from the action at the back of the theater, but seeing the headless girl silently struggle with her desperation, she was pretty cute. The body had almost made it to the bathrooms, and now it was time for Zombina to throw a wrench in the poor girl's plan. She gently, but firmly, shouldered Lala's body against the wall, and as she bounced off, spun around with her a few times before depositing her in the middle of the hallway. When the headless body stopped moving, she bent at the waist, shoved both hands between her legs, and stood very still, breathing hard.

Back in the theater, Lala's face flushed a bright red as she hoped that no one had heard her quick squeal of desperation. So much for enjoying the end of the movie without distraction. She didn't know what had happened, but someone had jostled her something fierce, not only cranking her bladder's urgency to critical levels for a moment, nearly making her leak in her panties, but completely disorienting her. She had been almost certain she was nearly to the bathroom door when it happened, but all the movement out of her control, on top of the shock, had destroyed her bearings. She didn't know if she was facing the theater or the toilets, or if she had stumbled past the bathroom in the confusion. The more she thought about her current predicament, the more her dread increased. Without her eyes, whether she tried to find her way to the bathroom, or back to the theater to retrieve her head, she could wind up more lost than ever, which would be disastrous considering the state of her bladder. Behind her, Doppel was biting her lip trying not to laugh at the dullahan's obviously flustered state. Whatever Zombina had done had apparently worked.

Out in the hall, Zombina watched Lala's body, amused as it pee danced in the middle of the hall, unaware of the curious looks she drew from passersby. Eventually it took a few tentative steps to the left until it felt the wall, where it came to a rest, crossing its legs, bending slightly at the waist, and folding her hands in front of her lap, firmly pressing them against her crotch. In this position, she squirmed slightly, and Zombina once again thought of how cute this whole display was. She may have started out just going along with Doppel's scheme on a whim, but now she was truly enjoying herself and wanted to keep this going.

The credits were rolling, but Lala would have to save being disappointed in how this outing had gone for later. For now, she had to focus on making sure she could get to a bathroom, quickly. She was quite desperate by this point. She wanted to ask someone else leaving the theater for help finding her body, but she was too shy and embarrassed to do so, and soon the theater was empty. She supposed that soon enough someone would come to clean the theater, and when the found her, she could ask them. She didn't relish the idea, but at least it was a guarantee that she would have someone along who could help her sooner rather than later.

And normally she would've been right. But Doppel and Zombina had other plans. After rendezvousing in the hallway, Doppel remarked on Lala's pronounced increase in squirminess.

"Wow, our little plaything's really struggling, huh?"

"Hehe, sure is." Zombina replied. "Not gonna lie, I wanna keep this going. Any ideas?"

"Hmmmm...well, we've got some time until the next screening in that particular theater...yeah...yeah, I think we can make this work. You keep an eye on little miss headless, I'll run interference and keep in touch."

"You got it." the zombie replied with a wink and a thumbs up.

As she walked back to the theater, Doppel shifted her form to that of someone else she'd seen working in the building, intercepting the young man about to head in with cleaning supplies.

"Hey, I got this one, you go ahead and take your break early."

"You sure?...Well, thanks! Much appreciated!"

Doppel took the equipment through the door, but stayed in the entryway, biding her time and keeping abreast of the state Lala's body was in via text with Zombina. She felt kinda bad for the kid, who would surely be chewed out later for slacking off. Oh well. Zombina was right, this was too much fun to stop now.

After 15 minutes, Lala was sweating nervously in her chair. She was really struggling to hold it now, and was certain someone should have made the rounds to clean by now. She'd thought she heard the door some time ago, but no one had actually come in, so she was left alone, whimpering with the effort of not wetting herself in public. Worse than that, she was at a loss of what to do. If no one came in and found her, her only options were pretty much to wander, deaf, blind, and mute through the area, hoping she was lucky enough to stumble into a bathroom in time, which wasn't a gamble she was keen on taking, or wet herself where she stood and wait until someone noticed, called security on her, they checked her host address and called Kimihito out to collect her, which would be so horrible she scarcely dared entertain the thought.

Wait a minute...She thought. Kimihito! He could help! She didn’t exactly want him aware of her situation, but he’d already seen her wet herself, if she could stand asking anyone for help bailing her out of a desperate situation, it was him. Carefully removing one hand from between her legs and squeezing her thighs extra hard together to compensate, she removed her phone from her jacket pocket and opened it (she still used a flip phone for situations just like this. It was easier to use an analog keyboard robbed of her senses than a touch screen), carefully typing out Kimihito’s number. When she’d dialed it she held the phone up...to where her ear would have been, if her head were on her shoulders. She cursed her bladder for ruining her ability to think straight, and as if in response to her frustration, she leaked just a little bit. In her seat, Lala’s head whined desperately and tears started forming in her eyes, and in the hall her other hand flew back to her crotch and she frantically stepped in place in an effort to keep dry.

Zombina had been having a good laugh when the headless body tried calling someone on the phone, but was shocked by its sudden explosion of movement. She had been squirming pretty consistently this whole time, but this kind of dancing was something else, Zombina could tell it was much more urgent. She had no way to check, but suspected the headless girl might have just wet herself a little. That thought made it real for her in a way it hadn’t been so far and she started feeling like they’d taken this far enough and it was time to lead the poor thing to a toilet. She was distracted from this train of thought by a familiar voice, coming from the floor. Zombina realized Lala had dropped her phone and someone had picked up. She grabbed it from the floor and said

“Yo, who is this?”

“...Lala? No, wait...Zombina? Is that you? What are you doing with Lala’s phone?”

“Oh, hey babe! Well, it’s kind of a long story…”

While this conversation was going on, Lala was recovering from her leak and realizing with awful dread that she had dropped her phone, her last lifeline. She knew bending over to to try to find it would only crush her overfilled bladder and her chances of actually finding it were none to slim. Shedding a tear at the indignity of it all, she made a decision. She was going to just feel her way along this wall and open every door she came across until one of them turned out to be a bathroom or some kind stranger caught onto her predicament and led her to one. The perfect plan? Far from it. But she was so desperate she’d try anything. And in the quite likely event she flooded her panties before making it to a bathroom...well, somehow it felt better for her body to be as far from her head as possible in that case. So she gingerly uncrossed her legs, once again took a had from her crotch to feel the wall, and started feeling her way along it.

“So yeah, I’m just keepin’ an eye on her body, and Doppel’s out looking for her head.”

Zombina had told Kimihto why they’d been tailing Lala, but neglected to mention the dire straits they’d put her in. No reason he needed to know, once they hung up she’d tell Doppel she clearly wasn’t gonna last much longer and lead her to-

“Oh, shit…”

Zombina had just glanced over at Lala to check on her and found herself staring at the wall. There was some joke about losing one’s head if it wasn’t screwed on to be made here, but Zombina didn’t have time to be witty.

“Uh, babe, I’m gonna have to call you back.”

She flipped the phone closed, and as she started running down the hall, frantically looking for the headless girl in black, pulled out her own and hurriedly called Doppel.

Her phone ringing startled the hell out of both Doppel and Lala. The former hurriedly answered and quietly growled “What?! You’re gonna give me away, you idiot!” and the latter called out a tentative “Hello…? Is someone there…?”

“Dude, forget being stealthy, I lost the girl, and last I saw her she looked like she was about to piss herself.”

“Oh shit…”

“Yeah, exactly, you need to get the rest of her and help me find her body, fucking fast.”

Now Doppel was getting worried. The fun thing about pranks was being in control of the situation, and the situation was decidedly out of her control now. She had never intended to let the girl wet herself, she wasn’t that cruel, but if she did now, it would certainly be her fault, and she didn’t want that on her conscience, let alone to have to explain it to Miss Smith.

Not bothering to change form, she ran into the theater proper and picked up Lala’s head, cradling it under her arm like a football. The flustered dullahan tripped over words trying to ask what was happening, but Doppel quickly explained,

“Don’t worry, I’m a friend, I’m gonna try to help you find your body, stay wherever you are.”

Lala was stunned, and had a million and one questions, but for now had to pee too badly to bother asking any of them, so instead she simply said

“Please just find it fast…” and silently prayed she could hold it just a little bit longer.

Doppel nodded, running as fast as she could while trying not to jostle Lala’s head too much and brought her phone back to her ear, asking Zombina

“Did you find her yet?”

“No, I’m checking outside now...shit, there’s a lot of people, it’s hard to...wait, hang on, I think I might see her at the corner!”  

Zombina made her way through the crowd to investigate.

“My partner might have spotted you, just hang on.”

“Ahh!!! Hnnh!...”

“What, what’s wrong?”

“It’s not...I can’t...I’m…”

Doppel could feel the girl’s tears against her skin and all things considered knew it didn’t bode well. She put the phone back to her ear.

“Z, fuckin’ tell me you found her...Z? Z?!”

As she approached the corner she thought she might’ve seen a scrap of black fabric around, she was relieved to see that it was, in fact, little miss headless. But that relief died in her mouth when she saw a not insignificant amount of liquid running down the back of her thighs. It appeared she hadn’t completely lost control yet, but she obviously didn’t have much time left. Her right hand was braced against the wall, her left was buried deep in her crotch, frantically rubbing against it, her thighs pressed together for dear life with her calves splayed apart, one foot rhythmically stomping the pavement. She was about to tell Doppel to haul ass, but she now realized that they were right out front of a small chain coffee shop. Zombina could see through the glass facade that they had a bathroom, and decided to take the initiative. Hanging up on Doppel, she put one hand on Lala’s elbow and put her other arm around her shoulders, leading her quickly and just keeping her fingers crossed that the movement wouldn’t be too much for her bladder.

There was only one gender-neutral bathroom, apparently for a single occupant. There was a small line, but as luck would have it someone was exiting as they approached. Before the next person could think too hard about going in themselves, Zombina pulled out her badge, which she really hadn’t thought she’d need, and shouted,

“Official M.O.N. business, get the fuck out of my way!!!” When the smoke cleared, Zombina would recall that that felt just as badass as she’d always imagined it would.

The people in line were too startled to disobey, and the zombie and dullahan entered the bathroom unimpeded. After quickly shutting and locking the door, Zombina led the frantically squirming headless girl to the toilet, reached under her skirt on her hips, ripped her underwear down to her knees, and sat her down. There was a slight pause as the absent head worked to catch up with what was happening, followed by a tentative trickle, as if she still wasn’t totally sure she was allowed to pee here, before finally giving way to a gushing torrent. This torrent lasted so long that Zombina had time to breathe a sigh of relief that they hadn’t made the poor thing wet herself, reflect that this was the closest thing she’d had to an adrenaline rush in a long damn time, and then come back to reality and think holy shit, she’s STILL going?! Fuck me...now I really feel bad...I don’t think I ever peed that much in my life. OR my death. I’m impressed…She’d thought the display of desperation had been cute, but this was just stirring something up within her, and she blushed, thinking maybe she should cover her ears, but not making any move to actually do so.

Eventually Lala’s stream tapered back down to a trickle and finally stopped. Zombina tore off a few squares of toilet paper and placed them in her hands, looking away as she wiped herself off between her legs. She then felt around her ankles for her underwear and pulled them back on as she stood up. Zombina pressed the lever on the toilet and led the dullahan to the sink, helping her step by step through the process of washing and drying her hands. Finally she put her arm around her shoulder again and led her out of the door, calling to the other confused, concerned, and/or curious patrons

“Sorry ‘bout that, folks. Carry on.” as they exited the shop.

Once outside, Zombina called Doppel back, prepared to explain what had happened, but instead her greeting was

“So I guess she made it?”

“Yeah, how’d you know?”

“Well, after you hung up, she started acting all confused, but then pretty soon after that she started making noises that’d make a succubus blush, and I hoped if she was enjoying it that much it meant she wasn’t pissing herself.”

“Right on the money. We were cutting it close, but it all worked out.”

“Well thank god for that. Meet me back here, we can deal with explaining ourselves.”

“On my way.”

For her part in all this, Lala’s feelings were mixed. After she had leaked enough to get her hand wet, she’d lost all hope and nearly just let go entirely, but then someone had apparently led her to a toilet and she’d made it (relatively speaking), after all. She could still hardly believe it, and didn’t think she’d ever relished a trip to the bathroom so deeply. But now that the wave of pleasure at finally having sweet relief was subsiding, she was feeling prickles of anxiety and embarrassment. The stranger holding her head claimed to be a friend, but friend or no, she had, to borrow the stranger’s phrase, “made noises that would make a succubus blush”, which was plenty embarrassing on its own, but on top of that, if she interpreted their conversation right, this stranger’s partner had been the one to lead her to the bathroom, and while she was grateful for that, she was now realizing it meant whoever this mysterious partner was, they had seen and heard the entirety of her peeing, to say nothing of taken her underwear off and helped her wash her hands afterward. The thought of it all set her cheeks on fire. But the embarrassment gave way to surprise and confusion when her body was led into the lobby of the theater by someone she recognized, the zombie girl from M.O.N. As she was processing this, the flesh supporting her chin shifted, and when she looked sideways at the stranger’s body, she saw it was now naked, with light brown skin, and long, silky white hair. Another M.O.N. member. What was going on? Doppel handed Lala’s head to her body, who took it in her own hands and nestled it in the scarf atop her shoulders. Once she had her bearings, she looked at Zombina and Doppel, who were shuffling their feet and looking at the floor sheepishly. For a moment, none of them said anything. Finally Zombina spoke up.

“So, uh...full disclosure, it’s kinda...our fault, that you, um...were in that situation…”

“It was my idea.” Doppel admitted. “If you have to blame anyone, blame me. I definitely wouldn’t blame you if you tell Smith.”

“It’s not like she forced me to go along with it, though. I’m just as responsible, and I’m really, really sorry.”

“I’m really sorry too.”

Both of the M.O.N. girls were bowing deeply, and as Lala processed what they were saying, she mostly felt a mixture of boiling, resentful embarrassment and chilly, spiteful anger. But, grappling with the questions she still had about why they were even here, and how exactly they could’ve been responsible for overfilling her bladder, it was hard to let the anger overwhelm her, and she was forced to accept that they both seemed genuinely remorseful, and she couldn’t deny that without Zombina, she undoubtedly would’ve wet herself in public, so things could have gone much, much worse. After a long moment of contemplation, she said

“I have two questions…” Zombina and Doppel looked up expectantly.

“...Do you promise not to do anything like this again?”

Both girls nodded vigorously.

“Do you promise not to...tell anyone?”

“Oh, of course, that goes without saying.”

“Sweety, I would never, don’t worry.”

“...very well. Let that be the end of it.”

Relief washed over both girls faces, and they reiterated how sorry they were, in the middle of which, something over Lala’s shoulder caught Zombina’s eye and she called

“Babe! What’re you doin’ here?”

Panicked, Lala turned around, and indeed saw Kimihtio near the doors, now approaching them. She hid behind Zombina, worried that, though her skirt was pitch black, he might somehow be able to tell it was more than a bit wet at the crotch.

“Well, the way you hung up so suddenly, I got worried Lala might be lost, so I thought I’d come just in case you guys needed help searching. But it looks like everything’s fine?”

Lala blushed and looked at the floor thinking of the implications of that question. But the fact that he’d come to help after all without a second thought, not even knowing the situation eased her anxiety somewhat. Zombina answered Kimihito,

“Yup! All clear, babe. Sorry to worry ya.”

“No, that’s fine, as long as it all worked out. Well, Lala, if you want, I can walk back to the house with you? Or I can just meet you there if you’re still busy.”

Lala looked up from the floor at Kimihito’s earnest smile.

“...very well. Let us return.”

“Sure thing.”

“Ah!”

“What’s up?”

Lala opened her mouth to say something, but seemed to get caught looking for words. She blushed, and shifted her weight slightly from foot to foot. At least, she simply said,

“Wait.”

Before turning around and walking decisively in the direction of the bathrooms. The three left behind each blushed and looked elsewhere until she returned to them and then left with Kimihito.

A few days later, as Lala spent the afternoon in her darkened room reading, Kimihito knocked on her door.

“Hey Lala, you’ve got some mail.” he called.

Confused, she crossed to the door and took the envelope from Kimihito. Once he had moved on to hand out the rest, she closed her door and examined the letter. It had no return address, so someone must have dropped it in their mailbox directly. Curious, she opened it and removed the contents. There was a small note that read Sorry again about ruining the other night for you. We know these can’t make up for it, but they’re good for whenever, we won’t distract you this time <3 D + Z and two free passes to the same movie theater. She smiled to herself before wondering why there were two, then she realized she’d have to take Kimihito if she didn’t want to apply for a solo pass again. Well...maybe that wouldn’t be so bad...She thought.

[knittedkikwi]

Ironsworn update

So I just finished my first quest. Mira is scrappy y’all. And Gabriel is best bird boy. Story is under the cut. I started getting a little more in depth with my roll notes cause keeping track of initiative in combat is a little tricky.

for anyone who’s curious but doesn’t want to read the almost 6000 words I wrote between yesterday and today, here’s the tl:dr - Mira has a terrible, no good, very bad day. Gabriel gets her back on track. She tries to be sneaky but instead gets snuck up on. She asks for macguffin. Thieves propose a trade for the only things that matter to her. Instead she opts to kill them. Fight starts badass, ends badass, but the middle is messy.

The town scatters as Mira turns to Emelyn.

“Is there any sign of which direction they went? Or who might have taken it?”

Emelyn shook her head, “No. We were unable to find any clues within the hall. Perhaps you will be able to find something around the perimeter of town. Or someone might have seen something in the night.”

“I guess I’ll start by talking to those who live closest. That’s as likely to point me in a direction as anything.” Mira turned to walk away when she felt a hand on her shoulder. When she turned back, Emelyn had a serious look on her face that appeared out of place on one who was usually so happy.

“Mira, thank you. I know Grimtree has not really opened up to you in the past few months, but please know we will do what we can to help you.”

Mira simply nodded before heading off to the nearest house.

(gather information – miss. Price is that it wastes resources)

Mira spent the rest of the day canvassing the town. Everyone she spoke with said they saw nothing the previous night. She tried searching for footprints to no avail. The ground surrounding the hall was thoroughly trampled by the earlier crowd and would certainly not offer any trails to follow. She even made several loops of the village, hoping to find tracks leading her somewhere. Nothing turned up and she eventually had to return to her room at the inn, frustrated and tired. Perhaps Sadia or Themon might have some advice. Mira decided to ask them in the morning. For now, she was too tired to do anything but fall into a deep sleep.

(strong hit – discover something helpful from Sadia or Themon.)

Mira woke early, determined to not let anymore time pass on her quest. The longer she took, the more exposed the village was. Nothing bad seemed to have happened last night, but it was only a matter of time before the creatures came calling. She pulled her tangled mass of blonde hair back into a ponytail and started putting on her new armor. Thoughts about how she might approach this investigation swirled through her head.

Sadia tended to know all of the gossip in the village. One of the perks of being the only tavern in town was that people were often drunk around you, and drunk folks were bad at keeping secrets. She could start there.

A slight tapping brought Mira out of her reverie. Gabriel was perched outside the window with a small mouse in his talons. Mira crossed the room and opened the window so Gabriel could enter. He hopped onto the small table beside the window and held the mouse out to her.

“Thanks Gabriel, but I think I will get breakfast from Sadia this morning. You enjoy your treat. We may be out hunting again soon, though,” she said. Gabriel cocked his head to the side, which Mira took to mean he was intrigued. “I have to find something stolen from the village. I have a feeling it was taken outside of town, but no one’s seen anything. Hopefully Sadia can help. Or maybe Themon.”

There was an idea. Themon was on friendly terms with most folks around here, and his penchant for give discounts in exchange for stories meant people told him quite a bit about themselves. Yes, she’d speak to both of them and hope they had heard something that could help her.

Mira looked at Gabriel just in time to see him swallow that mouse whole. “You know, I never quite get used to seeing you do that.”

He hooted at her slightly indignantly.

“Yeah, yeah, I suppose my eating is weird to you too. Now go to sleep. I’ll come get you if we get to go on a hunt.” She gave him a small scritch on top of his head before walking out to find Sadia.

The warm glow from the kitchen and occasional yelling led her right to Sadia.

“Damnit girl! You’ve let the bread rise too much! It’s more air than food at this point. Punch it down and start over.” Mira walked into the kitchen just in time to see the very disgruntled kitchen maid take out her aggression on the supposedly over risen dough. She grabbed an apple and sauntered over to where Sadia was by the fire.

“Was the bread really that bad? It didn’t seem too big to me,” she mumbled around a mouthful of apple.

“It probably could have worked, but she can do better and she knows it,” Sadia said. She threw a handful of herbs into the soup she was making before glancing sideways as Mira. “You got in late last night. Does that mean the village’s precious shield is safe?”

“No luck,” Mira sighed, “No one saw anything and any tracks were destroyed by the crowd and general hubbub of the town. I actually was hoping you might be able to help me. I don’t suppose you’ve heard anyone talking about taking it have you? Or perhaps bandits in the woods? Anything for me to go on would be a huge help.”

“Hmmmm, can’t say I’ve heard anyone talking about stealing it. I have heard some folk talk about a hearing strange sounds from the ravine out by the hills to the east,” Sadia paused to take a sip from the pot before frowning and throwing in another fistful of herbs. “I suppose that could be bandits, albeit stupid ones. If you’re planning on stealing something, don’t alert the villagers to your presence by making weird noises. That’s bound to attract attention sooner or later.”

“I can definitely check it out. It’s a bit of a trek, though. I probably won’t be able to do any chores today, if that’s alright by you.”

“Fine, fine. It’s not like you do a lot when you’re here anyways,” Sadia caught Mira’s eyes with a strangely piercing look, “But try not to get yourself killed. Those hills are dangerous in the best of times.”

Mira smiled. “I’ll do my best. I’m going to check with Themon before I head out. Maybe he’s seen these bandits.”

“Good idea. Now, get out of my kitchen before you get hair in my food.”

Mira headed out the back door, tossing her apple core to the pigs. She headed towards where Themon’s cart was parked near the square.

The merchant was starting to open shop for the morning when she arrived. She was always amazed at how much stuff he was able to fit in one cart.

“Themon, could I ask you something?”

He looked around and his face broke into a wide smile. “You’re already breaking in that armor I see. I hope the question isn’t a duel.”

Mira chuckled. “I would never challenge you to a duel. It would be unfair, seeing as I have the advantage in both youth and strength.” She smiled as she poked him in his rather soft belly.

“Ha ha ha, I suppose you’ve got me there. What can I do for you?”

“Have you heard anything about strange noises out in the ravine? Or heard any news of bandits in the area?” She glanced over towards the Main Hall. “I suppose you heard the announcement about the shield yesterday. I’ve come up with nothing except strange noises in the hills.”

“Aye, I heard the announcement. And I have heard about bandits stealing from other towns, although that was further south of here. I suppose they could have come north since my last trip, though.”

“When you say stealing items, was it always something like our shield?”

“No, this is the first time I’ve heard of them taking something like that. Usually they just break into houses or take all of the silver from the town’s longhouse. I doubt whoever did this realized what they were taking and merely recognized the value of a well crafted iron shield.”

Mira pause for a moment. That shield was the most ornate piece of iron in the village, and would probably sell for a high price if they could get it away from the area. She needed to move quickly. Mira turned to head back to the inn, then paused and looked back at Themon. “Sadia said people had her strange noises in the ravine. I don’t suppose you would know what is causing that, would you?”

Themon pursed his lips while he thought, “My best guess is that they have some sort of animal with them. Possibly dogs or horses. I can’t imagine the bandits themselves would draw attention to themselves like that on purpose.”

“So I might need to sneak past guard dogs. I better bring treats.”

“Good luck, Mira. I expect to hear the full story when you return.”

Mira looked back over her shoulder has she started walking away, “Thanks, Themon. I might save this story for the next time I need a discount though.”

Mira sprinted back to her room. The bandits were likely getting ready to move soon. She need to catch up to them before they broke down their camp. She started frantically throwing the rations she’d just bought into a pillowcase. She picked up her battle axe and shield from where they leaned against her bedpost, tucking the axe into her belt and sling the shield onto her back. The strange green cloak was hanging on the back of her door, where it had remained since she came into town. Mira sighed and then removed it from the hook. She stared at it for a moment before finally drawing it over her shoulders. She then woke up her, now grumpy, barn owl and stuck him on her shoulder. With a final glance around the room, Mira headed out to find the bandits.

(undertake a journey – miss. Pay the price – something of value is lost or destroyed.)

Mira started hiking east. She’d never really explored outside the village in the past 3 months. She was so focused on earning money towards her armor that the idea of taking a day to run around just hadn’t occurred to her. Now she wished she had. The terrain was so different from the Deep Wilds. The trees were shorter and far more scattered. There was grass instead of moss and the only wildlife she saw were birds flying high above her. This was not the terrain she had learned to track in and she wasn’t quite sure how to adapt. What bothered her the most was the hills. There was always something new behind each one, whether is was a cave or a river or even just a larger hill.

At one point, Mira managed to find what she thought was a set of tracks that led her to an old log crossing a swift river. She eyed the log with distrust. Part of it was submerged in the rapids. Who knows how sturdy that is, but the bandits came this way. Mira took a deep breath and stepped onto the log. Gabriel gave a low hoot and flew off to a tree on the other side of the river.

“Coward,” she muttered after him.

The first few steps seemed fairly solid, but she was still wary as she crossed. She moved slowly, an inch at a time. It took several minutes for her to reach the central portion of the log that was submerged. The log lurched under her, sending her head first into the water. She lashed out and managed to grab hold of a branch. The rapids tore at her as she hauled herself back onto the log. For a moment, she feared she might be strangled by her own cloak as it was pulled by the river. Finally, she got her leg back over the makeshift bridge and crawled quickly to the other side. Mira collapsed onto the ground once she reached relative safety, breathing heavily as she tried to calm her heartrate. That was far too close for her liking. She needed to sit for a moment. Mira reached for the bag of rations she had tucked into her belt, but it wasn’t there.

“Oh no…” Mira looked downriver. It’s hard to tell, but she could have sworn she could see the pillowcase rushing downriver. Gabriel swooped down to perch on her shoulder again. “Shit. It looks like we’ll be hunting if we have to spend a night out here. I probably should have taken you up on that mouse offer earlier.”

Gabriel let out a low hoo that somehow manage to sound like I told you.

(Undertake a Journey. Miss – it wastes resources.)

Mira forced herself to stand up and start walking again. She couldn’t find the trail on the other side though. No matter what tricks she used, nothing presented itself. Even Gabriel couldn’t seem to spot any trace of them from the air. They reconvened at the river once it started getting dark.

“This is pointless!” Mira picked up a rock and threw it into the river with as much force as she could. “We’ve just wasted another day and the thieves are probably halfway to the coast at this point.”

“Hoot hoot.”

“I know there’s no point in getting angry! But I made a vow and at this rate, I’m likely to fail. I just started liking Grimtree, I don’t want to be branded a Forsaker!”

“Hooooo”

“Fine, let’s make camp. We’ll try again in the morning. I don’t suppose you’d be willing to go get us some food, would you?”

Gabriel gave a head bob and soared off in search of what she hoped was rabbits. It was probably going to be more mice. He really liked mice.

(Resupply – strong hit. Supplies back to full, momentum +2 because of Gabriel. Make camp – strong hit. Choose two, focus and prepare.)

Mira started looking around for supplies. Fortunately, there was a small copse of pine trees a short way from the river. She was able to find plenty of needles to made a somewhat soft surface to sleep on. It might be a little pokey, but that’s what the armor was for. Ferrous bless Themon for still having it. Mira suspected he was saving it for her. Surely someone else had tried to buy it in the past two months.

With the bed sorted, she started collecting wood for a small fire. Ferrous bless Dotani as well. That elf made sure she knew how to make a fire on day one. She still remembered spending hours with that stupid stick trying to get any sort of flame. She was considerably faster now and had the fire going by the time Gabriel returned with not one, but two fat rabbits.

“Wow, you had a good night!”

His chest puffed up a little in pride. He always seemed to like compliments a little more than an animal should.

“Do you want me to cook both or do you want your rabbit raw?”

“Hoo”

“I can leave half raw. Pass them over.”

Mira got to work stripping them of their fur and innards. Thankfully, her axe had stayed in her belt when she fell in the river. She chopped one rabbit in half and tossed the front half up in the air. Gabriel swooped past and caught it without a sound. She started cooking the rest for herself. Now she had food for tomorrow. That owl might be the best thing that ever happened to her.

Mira looked over at her friend. “So, no luck today. Actually, really bad luck today. But, I hope we might be able to find something in the morning. Maybe the sun will show us something shining from the east instead of the west.”

“Hoot hoo”

“You can try scouting in the night if you want. Just don’t go too far. I don’t want them to see you and take a shot thinking you’re food. I’m going to go to sleep. Wake me up if you see anything dangerous, ok?”

“Hoo,” Gabriel bobbed his head again before returning to his dinner.

Mira curled up in her cloak, praying that they were getting close to this ravine.

(Undertake a Journey – weak hit. Mark progress and lose one supply.)

The sun crested over the hills and warmed Mira’s face. For a moment, she pretended to was back at the inn, where it was safe and she hadn’t lost all of her food to a river. Then she hear the tell-tale sounds of an owl tearing apart a rabbit.

“Gabriel!” Mira bolted upright in time to see her friend swallow the last of the food she was saving for the rest of their journey. “What are you doing? We were supposed to make that last!”

He clicked his beak at her before flying over to a tree and looking pointedly at the ground. She wandered over to where he was looking. There, very faintly visible in the morning sun, was a set of tracks.

“Gabriel you beautiful bird! You can have all the rabbit you want!” She kissed him on the head before running back to the camp. “We have to move quickly, before the sun gets too high and we lose the trail.”

She gathered her things, kicked dirt over the ashes of the fire and started nearly sprinting in the direction of the footprints.

(Secure an advantage – weak hit. +1 momentum, the advantage is fleeting.)

Mira followed the tracks for hours without resting. Gabriel eventually gave up on flying and decided it was easier to just sleep on her shoulder than try to keep pace with her. Her body started to show signs of exhaustion from to the frantic pace. Her mouth went dry, she didn’t lift her feet enough and started tripping, her heart was beating in her ears. Eventually, she pushed herself too far.

The hills had started getting rockier and harder to navigate. She came to a small, natural wall of stone that she needed to get over, maybe 7 feet tall. She started to climb, but fell when she was almost to the top. Wheezing, Mira lay there for a moment as Gabriel looked down at her making a strange sound. Was he laughing at her?

“Shut up! I need to rest a moment. Just…give me a sec.”

She sat up and felt for any broken bones. All she found were bruises, including her pride. At least she’d made good progress, until now. She can’t be too far. This seemed like exactly the type of place to have a ravine.

(Undertake a journey – strong hit)

It took ten minutes for Mira’s breath to even out. She finally hauled herself up the small ridge and continued on around the hill. As she reached the other side, she heard a strange sort of growling coming from all around her. The source was hard to locate at first, but she eventually was able to trace to the ravine she was looking for. The did indeed have a guard dog. It’s barking was reverberating off the stone walls. She saw two men sitting around the campfire. They looked like they just finishing a meal. One of them stood up and threw something to the dog. He headed over a makeshift shelter and started to put some items in packs.

There! A flash of iron. The man walked back out to fire, giving Mira a clearer view of the packs. That was definitely the shield.

(Reach your destination – weak hit, unforeseen hazard.)

Mira started to creep towards the camp. She watched as the men started to bicker. That was perfect. While they’re distracted, she can sneak in, grab the shield, and get out before they even knew she was there.

“Gabriel,” she whispered, “stay here. I’m going to sneak in and get the shield.”

“Why sneak? I’ll walk you right in there.” Mira whirled around. A third man stood behind her with a spear pointed at her back. How had he snuck up on her?

She slowly raised her arms up in front of her. “I just want the shield. You don’t understand how important it is to the town.”

The man gestured toward the camp with his spear. “Why don’t we sort this out over there?”

Mira nodded and started walking towards the camp.

“Hey guys, I found something while I was on patrol.” The other two stopped fighting and looked up as they walked. “She said that shield is important and we should give it back. What d’you think?”

Mira spoke up, trying project as much confidence and appeal in her voice as possible. “Please? That shield protects the town. It will be destroyed if I don’t take it back.”

(Compel – weak hit. They’ll do what you want in exchange for something.)

“We might be persuaded,” one of them said, “if you’re willing to trade for it.”

“I have nothing to give you, though.”

“What about that axe?” The scout suggest as he flipped her cloak back to get a better look. “It looks like it would be worth something. Looks like an heirloom. Maybe from the old country?”

No, that was her axe. “I can’t, I need it to defend myself on the way home.”

The third man piped up, “What about the bird? Seems like you have him well trained. We could definitely use him for hunting since you never seem to, Lio.” He shot a smug grin at his friend by the fire.

Lio picked up a small bone from the ground and threw it at him, “Shut it, Okoth! I’m the one who found these rats, ain’t I? But you’re right, the bird would be useful. Whatcha say, lass? Is the shield worth your bird?”

Mira sized up the men. They didn’t seem particularly strong. Three on one weren’t great odds though.  The dog was chained up, so she would just need to stay away from it. Fighting would be dangerous, but she was strong and knew how to use her axe well.

“No, Gabriel and my axe stay with me. And I’m taking the shield.”

(Secure an advantage with aggressive action – opportunity. Refuse strength? Take control.)

Mira drew her axe faster than any of them expected, making Gabriel fly off towards the nearest tree. The scout, who was still leaning down to investigate too the side of the axehead in his face. He staggered back and Mira grabbed for his spear. His grip tightened as he realized what she was doing. For a moment, they were locked in a brutal tug of war, but she was stronger. She ripped the spear from his grasp and turned it on him instead.

(mechanically, downgrade his harm. Enter the fray – weak hit. Take initiative. Strike – weak hit, do harm and lose initiative.)

Mira threw the spear at the scout, hitting him square in the chest. He crumpled to the ground before he even had a chance to scream. Stunned at both her aim and at how easy it was to kill someone, Mira didn’t notice Lio running at her with his axe raised until the last moment. She whirled around, raising her axe to block his blow.

(Clash – strong hit, do harm and take initiative)

The axes locked together. Lio stood a foot taller than her and was using his height to force  her to the ground. Mira was strong, she kept her footing for now. But she could see Okoth circling around to come at her from the side. She needed to end this quickly. She used all the strength she could muster to keep her axe up with one arm and pulled her knife. A look of shock passed over Lio’s face as he saw it fly towards his throat. The spray of blood was far larger than Mira expected, leaving her coated in it as she turned towards the final bandit. The dog was barking frantically while Okoth stared at her in horror.

“You killed my friends! You’re gonna pay for that!” He roared, but Mira was already sprinting towards him.

(Strike – weak hit)

Mira screamed as she raised her axe. All of her strength was behind the blow, but Okoth brought his spear up to block it. The two struggle for a moment before Okoth flung her axe to the side. She slashed at him with her knife and managed to connect with his torso. More blood sprayed on her as he staggered back, holding his hand to his chest. They stared at each other for a moment before Okoth raised his spear. Mira turned and sprinted towards her axe.

(Face Danger +edge – weak hit. Endure Harm – weak hit.)

Mira feels the spear dig into her thigh right as she gets to her axe. There’s no time to think or even react to the pain. She needs to end this now.

(Secure an advantage – complication, dog is in play. Pay the price – a friend or companion is put in harm’s way. )

Mira hurls her axe towards Okoth, but too slow. He rolls to the side and sizes up the situation. He’s next to the dog, Mira may not have her axe but she still has her knife, and Gabriel is watching everything from a tree. Okoth pulls the chain off the large wolfhound before taking aim and launching his spear at Gabriel. The dog sprints at Mira, teeth bared, but all she can see is the spear flying towards her companion.

“Gabriel, fly!” she screams.

(Companion endure harm – miss)

Gabriel spreads his wings to take off, but the spear sends him sprawling.

“Bastard! You I’m gonna rip you’re fucking heart out for that!”

(clash – weak hit. Pay the price – a companion is put in harm’s way (or you, if alone). You’ve got to be kidding me. I choose for it to be me. Foe has initiative)

Mira tries to kick the dog out of the way, but it latches onto her leg instead and starts shaking vigorously. She tries to pull away.

(Endure Harm – weak hit. Press on)

She manages to wrench her leg from the hound, but struggles to walk. Okoth walks over to the body of the scout and pulls the spear from his chest, aiming for Mira. He throws the spear right as she pulls the shield from her back.

(Face Danger, forceful defense +iron – strong hit!! Finally!!!)

She holds the shield up in front of her and manages to brace herself in time to catch the spear. Okoth threw with such force that the spear sticks in the crude shield. But that means Mira has a weapon now. It’s time to finish this.

(End the fight – strong hit)

Mira grabs the shaft of the spear and swings it at the dog, sending it sprawling. The shield is knocked from the tip. Perfect. Before she even realizes what she’s doing, Mira adjusts her grip and sends the spear flying. It sails through the air and connects with that stupid, smug face that murdered Gabriel. His jaw goes slack as his body is thrown backwards. Through her haze of pain and anger, Mira is barely aware of the dog running of into the countryside. Instead she staggers towards where she last saw her owl.

“Gabriel! Where are you?!” she screams.

A soft hoot answers her, barely audible above the wind rushing through the ravine. Pain makes her limp as she moves to her friend. She finds him with the spear sticking through his right wing, but otherwise unhurt. She removes the spear and takes him over to the camp, hoping to find some sort of healing supplies. She digs through the packs, but finds no herbs or bandages. Instead, the cuts her hand on a knife hidden in one of the packs.

“Those assholes are fighting me even when they’re dead. Fine, but they’re damn well gonna help me heal my owl, too,” she mutters. Grabbing her knife, she stalks over to Okoth’s body and starts cutting strips of fabric from the clean, non-bloody parts of his shirt. She then limps back to Gabriel and starts setting his wing.

(Heal – strong hit)

“HOOT!”

“I’m sorry, but it has to hurt before it can feel better,” Mira says, “I think you’ll be able to fly again, but you’re going to have ride on my shoulder all the way back to town. Sadia probably has something that can prevent infection, but try to keep it clean for now.”’

“hoo.” Gabriel stared at his now bandaged wing for a moment before nudging her injured leg with his beak.

“I know, I’ll get to it in a moment.” Mira looked pointedly at the other bodies. “I just need to get more bandages.”

(Heal – weak hit. -1 momentum)

Mira manage to force herself to stand and cut more bandages from the bandit’s clothes. Now that the adrenaline was starting to wear off, she could feel herself start to wobble as she sat back down. The macabre situation also started to hit here. She was dressing her wounds with the clothing of dead men.

“Ferrous, I need to get home. We need proper bandages and I would die for some willow bark tea.” Gabriel made a soft hum in response, but his eyes were already closed as he leaned into Mira’s side. “You’re right, we’re not going anywhere tonight. I suppose we should take advantage of this camp and leave in the morning.”

(make camp, +1 for using bandit’s camp – strong hit. Recuperate and prepare)

Mira slept like the dead that night, which she found a little disquieting given that she was surrounded by actual dead. But she felt better when she awoke. And so did Gabriel, judging by his bright eyes and the insistent hooting that woke her.

“Five more minutes, bud. Please?”

“Hoo, hoo, hoo”

“Fine, we’ll head out. Just let me grab my stuff. We may as well take their stuff too. It’s not like they need it.” Mira groaned as she stood. Her leg was stiff, and throbbed slightly, but it could take her weight and only slowed her down slightly.

(Resupply – miss. Pay the price – your action has an unintended effect.)

She condensed what she could into one bag, but they didn’t have anything useful. Okoth apparently hadn’t been kidding when he said they needed Gabriel to hunt. They had no rations, no medicine, no money. The only thing of value in the camp was the shield and their weapons. Mira kicked out at a lump of dirt in frustration, only to be greeted with the sight of ants swarming towards. She shrieked and stumbled back as fast as her bloody leg would carry her. It was definitely time to go. She gathered the Iron Shield and her supplies quickly. Then she stuck the extra battle axe in her belt. The two spears would make good walking sticks, at least. Finally, she scooped up Gabriel and plopped him on her shoulder. Time to head back to Grimtree.

(Undertake a journey – weak hit.)

Fortunately, the journey back was faster. Mira didn’t have to spend a day trying to find a trail, so even at her slower pace, she was able to make it back in a day. Unfortunately, she lost the spears as she crossed the river. That river seemed to be actively stealing from her at this point.

When she finally hobbled into town, she was greeted by cheers as folks saw the shield slung on her back, followed by some whispers as they saw the blood splatter on her clothes. She’d taken a moment to wash her face and hands at the river, but didn’t want to risk taking off her armor while alone and wounded. She slowly made her way to the Main Hall just as Emelyn walked out onto the porch.

“Welcome back, Mira of the Deep Wilds!” Emelyn’s voice rang over the square, filled with a joy that Mira had never heard directed at her. “Come, fulfill your vow and then we shall tend to your wounds.”

(Fulfill your vow – weak hit. I had 10 points in progress and somehow manage to roll a 10 on a d10. What the fuck?! Forge a bond with the village of Grimtree – Strong hit. Had to reroll a challenge die though.)

Mira slowly walked up the stairs, making sure not to use her bad leg.

“Forgive me for not kneeling, my lady, but I fear my leg will not allow it,” Mira pulled the shield from her back, “I present to you the Iron Shield. May it keep the village safe and the townsfolk free from harm.”

Emelyn’s smile faltered for a moment. “Thank you, Mira,” She reached out and took the shield from her hands, “As Head Woman, I hold your vow fulfilled. You have proven yourself a true member of our community and shall always have a home here. Now, help me put this back in its rightful place.”

The crowd started to scatter as Emelyn headed back inside the hall. Mira followed behind, concerned about that look she had seen flash across Emelyn’s face.

“Did something happen while I was gone?” Mira grew concerned, as Emelyn said nothing. She watched as the normally cheerful woman slowly walked to the back of the hall and returned the shield to it’s hook on the wall. Mira felt a small thrum go through her, though she was not sure if that was the magic of the shield or fear at what might have happened.

Emelyn turned to her at last and gestured towards one of the chairs by the shield. “Have a seat.”

Mira walked towards the chair, but her fear grew with each step. “Something did happen. I wasn’t fast enough, was I?”

“This is not on you. There was no way you could have returned the shield in time. A farmer was found dead in his field only hours after you left,” Emelyn sighed and leaned forward, “We suspect gaunts from Wilds. He was trampled almost beyond recognition. What concerns me is that his son was out working with him, but no one can find him.”

“His son? How old?”

“13. He’d only just started to learn how to wield an axe. You have more experience in the Wilds than anyone in town. I’m sorry to put this on you, especially considering your injuries, but would you look for him?”

[buckychristwrites]

Mine Is Black, Her’s Is Gold | Part 4 | b.b.

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Summary: A ghost of Bucky’s past comes back to haunt him, and soon he finds himself wondering if he was built to have a normal life, or if he was always meant to live as a broken man who can only make it by alone.

Word Count: 3.4k

Warnings: Dad!Bucky, SO fluffy

A/N: I don’t think I’ve ever written something with so much fluff. Enjoy! Let me know what you think :)

| Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 |

Masterlist

A small hand smacking against his face was how Bucky woke up one morning. When he peeked through his slightly opened eyelids, he found Zoey staring at him with alert eyes and a wide smile. Not your typical start to the day, but it was one Bucky was starting to become accustomed to.

“Whass going on?” Bucky asked in a deep, tired voice. She giggled, shuffling closer to him.

“Come play with me,” She said simply. Bucky groaned before rolling over and mumbling something about how she should go find you to play with. He felt another hard smack against the back of his head, causing him to roll back towards her. Her face was a painfully adorable combination of angry and desperate, which made it hard for Bucky to ignore her.

“She’s not here,” She told him. He sat up slightly in a sort of panic before remembering that you were on a mission and had been gone for almost a week. Tony felt that your powers would be necessary this time around, and that excited you. And while he’d never admit it, it made Bucky proud. You never really got the chance to use your abilities, and in the right circumstances, Bucky believed you could easily be the most powerful Avenger.

“Daddy,” The small voice said almost pleadingly. A wave of emotions filled Bucky, as they always did when Zoey referred to him in this way. “Please come play with me.” He stared at her for a few seconds as he tried to ignore the heavy thumps in his chest.

Over the course of the week it had been since his life had drastically changed, Bucky had been adjusting a lot better than he had expected from himself. Zoey had begun responding to him almost as much as she responded to you, which was a good sign to everyone. The one downside was that she was very smart, which means she picked up on everyone’s habits quickly and used the information accordingly. One that she was particularly fond of using to her advantage, was that her father was one of the biggest pushovers she had ever met.

Sighing, Bucky sat up, throwing the blanket off of him and rubbing his eyes. He tried not to think about the fact that it was only a quarter after seven. When he looked down at his daughter, she was smiling triumphantly at him. Even his grumpy morning self couldn’t deny how cute she was.

“Have you had breakfast?” He asked. The toddler shook her head. Throwing his legs over the side of the bed, he grabbed the black shirt he dropped on the floor the night prior and threw it over his head. Zoey bounced excitedly as she watched him stand. He smiled warmly at her. “Let’s get some food in you.” She raised her hand, taking his first two fingers on his right hand in her tiny fist before guiding him out of the bedroom. He had to lean down slightly in order to let her keep her grip on him, but he did it without complaint.

Zoey sat on a stool at the island counter while Bucky searched the cabinets. What do three year olds eat? Usually by the time he woke up in the mornings, you had already fed Zoey breakfast, sometimes even lunch as well. It was slightly embarrassing to him how much better you were at raising his kid. While there was no doubt that he had improved, you still did it with a sort of suave that he still didn’t understand. You just knew things. You knew when and what to feed her, what she wanted to play or watch even when she didn’t, what to do when she was crying. It was like you and Zoey shared a frequency that he could only dream of being on.

“What do you want to eat, doll?” He called over his shoulder to the little girl, who was coloring on a blank piece of paper with crayons. For a second, he wondered where she had gotten them, but then he shook his head at the thought. Of course you’d leave them there for her, to make things easier on him.

“Froot Loops!” She exclaimed without looking up from her drawing. He grabbed the red box from the cabinet along with a bowl. Setting them both down on the counter, he pulled a second bowl down and filled them with cereal. He eyed Zoey as he added milk, watching her color.

“What are you drawing?” He asked as he pushed her the smaller of the two bowls. She continued to color for a second as if he didn’t speak. When she dropped her crayons, she examined it before picking it up and showing it to him. He took it from her to look at it for himself, his heart swelling so much that he felt like his whole chest would burst. It was stick figure drawings of herself, Bucky and all of the Avengers. Bucky was holding her hand on one side, and you were holding her hand on the other. The smile on his face was so wide that his cheeks hurt. When he looked up from the picture at Zoey, she was shoveling cereal into her mouth. He set the picture down on the counter and took a bite from his own bowl of cereal.

“So after we eat, what do you wanna do?” He asked her, watching as she finished her food before he even finished his sentence. She put her finger to her chin, obviously lost in thought.

“Hmmm,” She said aloud. She was frozen for a second before her face lit up. “Hide and seek!” Bucky chuckled. He had caught you and her playing a few rounds of hide and seek in the week it had been since Zoey had made her way into your lives. It appeared to be her favorite game. Bucky finished up his cereal, making sure to clear Zoey’s bowl as well as his own before turning back to her.

“Alright, let’s play hide and seek,” He told her. She squealed before jumping off the seat and running out of the room. Bucky covered his eyes, laughing while he counted. The distant sound of her laughing filled the compound. It was a blissful noise that added new excitement to the lives of the Avengers.

“Eight… nine… ten! Ready or not, here I come!” He shouted, hoping his voice carried. He slowly walked out of the kitchen and into the living room. The only plus about having ever been an assassin was that his footsteps were silent as he crossed the floor. He considered asking F.R.I.D.A.Y for help, but then decided against it. It wouldn’t be fair.

In the distance, he heard a loud giggle. He picked up his pace as he sped in the direction of the noise.

“Oh Zoooooeey,” He said in a spooky voice, tiptoeing down the hallway. He heard the giggle again, coming from Steve’s room. His smirk grew as he made his way inside. There was movement between the crack of Steve’s wardrobe, but Bucky pretended not to see it. “Wherever could she be?” He went to the bed, lifting the covers as he looked underneath. “Not under the bed.” A hushed giggle hit his ears, and he suppressed a smile. Slowly, he made his way to the closet, dramatically throwing the door open and peeking his head inside. “Not in the closet.”

He walked around the room, methodically stopping in front of the wardrobe. It was hard to ignore the tiny eye that was watching him from the slight opening.

“Hmmmm,” He said audibly, looking around the room in faux confusion.

“Could she be…” He said, turning slowly towards the wardrobe. An excited giggle echoed from inside. “... in the wardrobe?” He inched towards it, creeping his hands towards the doors. For a few seconds, he paused with his hands at the doors. The silence was deafening. Then he threw the doors open, pouncing.

“AHAHA!” He shouted while laughing. An explosion of Zoey’s giggles echoed throughout the room as he grabbed her, cradling her in one arm as he tickled her. She began smacking his arms.

“Daddy, no! Stop!” Zoey said through fits of laughter. He stopped, wiping tears from his eyes as he set her back down. She was still smiling up at her. “Your turn!” Bucky looked around before looking back down at her.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y?” He asked looking at the ceiling.

“Yes, Sergeant Barnes?” The AI’s voice filled the room. Zoey looked around the room in awe, as she always did when F.R.I.D.A.Y. spoke.

“Can you count to ten for Zoey, please?” He asked.

“Certainly. Let me know when Princess Zoey is ready,” The automated voice answered. A wave of gratefulness hit Bucky at the name that Stark had given his daughter in his systems. He turned back to the toddler.

“When the voice says ten, come find me!” He pointed at her, narrowing his eyes. “No cheating though.” She nodded her head rapidly. He nodded back at her. “Okay, F.R.I.D.A.Y, she’s ready.” The AI began to count, and Bucky bolted from the room. Adrenaline filled him as he froze in the living room, trying to find a good place. Instinctively, he tried to implement strategy. But then he remembered that this is a game where he has ten seconds to hide from a three year old, and not a mission. There was no reason to take it so seriously.

He ran into your room just as F.R.I.D.A.Y got to eight, diving under your bed. It wasn’t the most comfortable of spots, but it wasn’t awful. The sound of fast, light footsteps echoed down the hallways once the count reached ten. Bucky watched as a tiny figure zipped passed the doorway.

“Daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy,” Zoey chanted as she went. They faded away for a while, but then slowly got closer and closer again until she ran passed the door again, her footsteps stopping a short distance down the hallway. Bucky grunted and received a loud gasp in return. He bit his lip as Zoey came back into view, this time making her way into your room. Her eyes said suspicion but her smile gave her away as she tiptoed around the room. A slight bounce on the mattress above let him know that she had climbed on the bed. Bucky tried to scoot further back towards the bed frame. His foot kicked something hard, and he froze, pressing his teeth together. The next thing he knew, Zoey’s head popped out from over the bed, her curls circling her face as she smiled.

“FOUND YOU!” She shouted excitedly. Bucky laughed, pushing himself out from under your bed. It was harder to get out than it was to get under, and it took him longer than expected. Zoey was bouncing as she watched him crawl out and stand back up. “My turn to hide!” Bucky threw his hand over his face.

“One...two…” He began. She squealed loudly and he listened to her as she ran out of the room. As he continued to count, Bucky wondered if he should’ve made rules for her before beginning the game, like certain places she couldn’t hide or a set boundary in which she could. The compound was very big and it was easy to get lost in, especially for a little girl. But it was too late for that.

When Bucky got to ten, he began to sneak around the compound. She was shockingly quiet this time. He peeked under beds and dug through closets, to no avail. He crouched slightly as he walked, stomping his feet down in slow yet loud steps.

“I’m gonna get you, Zoey!” He called. A giggle echoed from the kitchen, and he began running in that direction, still stamping his feet. As soon as he entered the threshold of the kitchen, he spotted Zoey, who screamed and ran away from him. “Come here, you!” He went after her as she tore through the living room. Her shrieks of joy could be heard for miles, he figured. For a while, he let her stay ahead of him but then he closed in on her and scooped her up. She fought his grip as he fell to the floor, rolling onto his back. “I’VE GOT YOU!” He yelled, tickling her. The both of them were laughing so hard that their stomachs hurt. Zoey wiggled her way out of Bucky’s grip, looking quite pleased with herself as he pushed himself off the floor. The both of them were still giggling slightly.

“Your turn to hide, Daddy!” She proclaimed.

“Whenever Princess Zoey is ready, Sergeant,” F.R.I.D.A.Y. said just as Bucky was about to ask for her assistance once more. Bucky turned to Zoey.

“You ready?” He asked. She nodded in warped speed, her adrenaline clearly pumping.

“She’s ready,” Bucky announced. As soon as F.R.I.D.A.Y. began to count, he booked it from the room, already having a hiding place in mind. He went to the closet by the front door, jumping in and quietly closing the door, leaving it open just enough so he could see outside. When F.R.I.D.A.Y. got to ten, the footsteps picked back up again. He could hear her mantra of calling out for him, just like she had done before. Through the crack, he watched her run through the living room, speeding by like a bunny out of time. He patiently waited, his back finding the wall of the closet. Five, ten, fifteen minutes passed with no indication that Zoey had the slightest idea of where he was. By now, he had slid down to the floor, his hands folded in his lap as he stared at the light streaming in. Her chanting had stopped and her running only seemed to get faster. He was just waiting for her to notice the cracked door. It was only when he heard a muffled cry that all amusement left his body.

“Daddy?” A soft wail echoed down the hallway. “Daddy!” In an instant, Bucky burst through the closet, running out to find where the cries were coming from. He almost ran passed her, standing in your room with tears streaming down her face. He dropped down to his knees, putting his arms around her as she buried her face in the crook of his neck. Her grip on his shirt was so tight that if she held any tight he thought he’d rip chunks out.

“What’s wrong? What happened?” He asked, his voice soft as he ran his hand up and down her back.

“I was scared,” She whimpered. “I thought you were lost forever.” His heart shattered. He softly laid his head against hers.

“Do you want to do something else?” He asked her. She nodded against his neck, pulling away from him. As he wiped away her tears, he looked around your room, contemplating what he could do with Zoey that wouldn’t upset her anymore. A light bulb went off in his head. He looked at Zoey with a wide smile

“I have an idea for something we could do,” He told her. She tilted her head as she stared at him in curiosity. “Wanna grab some extra blankets, baby doll?”

_________________________________________

Bucky didn’t realize he had fallen asleep until he was woken up by someone running their fingers through his hair. His eyes fluttered open and fell on you, a soft smile on your face as you looked at him. He glanced down at the toddler, sleeping away while tucked into his arm. The TV was still on behind you, it being really the only thing in the room that could be seen inside the elaborate fort he and Zoey had built together. It had taken hours, and obviously it had worn the two of them out more than he thought.

“You two have been busy,” You said, shaking your head as you took a look around at their work. “What a nice surprise.” Shifting positions, you sat down fully next to Bucky, crossing your legs in front of you.

“You guys are back a lot sooner than expected,” He said in a gravelly voice. “We’ll can clean everything up. Sorry for using your room.” You shook your head.

“The mission ended sooner than expected,” You said, monotone, before waving a hand at him. “And don’t worry about it. You guys look comfortable.”

When Bucky looked back at you to respond, he stopped, his eyebrows furrowed slightly. The bags under your eyes were weighing down your face. You usually radiated a warm light, but the switch somehow got shut off, and now you just felt bleak, and he could see it all over you. He wanted to sit up, but also didn’t want to disturb Zoey.

“How’d it go?” He asked, but by the way you slumped slightly at his question, he already knew the answer. “What’d you find?”

“Nothing,” You said quietly. Your eyes fell on the floor as you shook your head. “Three different facilities and we couldn’t find the damn weapons anywhere.” The tone of your voice was exasperation and frustration, but Bucky could also hear the slight sound of defeat beneath them. He reached forward and put his hand on your knee. For a second, he thought you would push him away, but you did nothing instead.

“It’s not on you,” He said, moving his head over to try to catch your eye. You rolled your eyes, and he couldn’t help but notice the tears in them.

“I don’t do much,” You said in an angry, yet still quiet voice. “My abilities are circumstantial and so I never get the chance to be useful. And now I’m suddenly given this chance and I…” You trailed off, looking up at the blanket roof of the fort before looking back down at Bucky. “I feel like I’m blowing it. Like shouldn’t I be able to find these weapons?” Bucky’s thumb began to stroke your knee.

“You know that your abilities only go so far,” He said, making you shake your head at him. Your eyes locked with his, and the sadness in them made his heart hurt for you.

“Yeah, but I’m the only one who can do what I do,” You told him. “I have to be better.”

Bucky watched you as you played with your fingers, something you did when you were anxious. It was hard to see you like this. There were periods when you would second guess yourself and your place on the team, and it was hard for him to convince you otherwise once you started spiraling down this road.

“You’re good enough,” He said firmly. The sigh you let out was so heavy, it felt like it filled the entire room. You stood up suddenly, Bucky’s hand falling from your knee and hitting the floor. “You can stay if you want, there’s plenty of room.” While saying it, Bucky hoped he didn’t sound as desperate as he felt. He hadn’t seen you in a few days, and he wanted to hear about everything. Or anything. He just wanted to hear your voice for a while. But despite the gentle smile you gave him, you still shook your head.

“I think I’m going to go take a shower and then make some dinner,” You shrugged. “Maybe get really drunk and pass out on the couch. We’ll see.” You began to leave but stopped mid-step, looking back down at Bucky and the small child in his arms. Kneeling back down, you kissed Zoey on the top of her head, and then leaned forward and kissed Bucky on his forehead too.

“I’m glad you two were okay while I was gone, Buckaroo,” You whispered. Bucky was speechless as you left the room, watching your receding back disappear out the doorway. His forehead burned where your lips had just been, and as he laid back down and thought about everything you had said, he couldn’t quite shake the smile that had planted itself on his face almost immediately after you had looked away from him.

_________________________________________

Tags

@pizzarollpatrol, @of-outerspace, @fallenaristocat, @gracefulish, @wintersthor, @buckysbeech, @nicole-sec, @stevieboyharrington, @built4broadway, @tannyator, @fab-notfat, @kawaiispacepriincess, @lovely-geek, @celinejfong, @salty-buchanan, @tonifrances297, @srgntjmes, @bvckysmanbun, @bucky-slut

[neganandblake]

I think I liked you better when you didn’t have a knife in your hand, Peaches... Chapter 138- The house

When Blake finds herself sold out to the Saviours by her abusive fiancé, she realises that she’s certainly not on her own anymore and finds an unlikely friend in Negan. And Negan does NOT like men who beat their girlfriends, one tiny bit….

MASTERLIST

Chapter 138- The house

[Blake and Negan enjoy being out of the Sanctuary, and stumble across a house among the trees...]

"Is iiiiit...an animal?"

Negan grinned, but shook his head. "Nope," he replied, popping the 'p'.

They had been driving for the last hour at least, going nowhere in particular but both just happy to be out of the Sanctuary for a little while. It was good for them, giving them a chance to spend time together out of the confines of the looming and often oppressive factory building.

The pale grey sky was now barely visible though the rain that was currently lashing the windscreen with deafening raindrops. And for the last half hour of their drive, Blake had been forcing Negan to play twenty questions with her.

Blake's gaze drifted out of the passenger side window, as she drummed her fingernails against the seat beside her.

"Ok, is it a person then?" she asked, her head turning to look at the dark-haired Saviour once more.

But he gave a sigh, lifting a tanned finger to scratch at his stubbly chin.

"Hmmmm, not quite..." he sighed. "Although she'd make a damn better number two than Si, that's for fucking sure."

But at his words, Blake gave a huge huff and a roll of her eyes.

"It's that stupid bat of yours again, isn't it," she nodded, sounding slightly irritated. "God, Negan, if you're not gonna play properly-"

Negan stared over at her, giving a chuckle. "Then we can give up playin'?" he tried hopefully. "Halle-fuckin'-lujah!"

But the blonde woman narrowed her green eyes in his direction, folding her arms over herself huffily.

She wasn't gonna let him get his way that easily.

"Alright, my turn," she said, much to Negan's visible dismay.

"Shit, darlin', alright...fiiine," he huffed. "Vegetable?"

Blake shook her head.

"A person then. 'S'it Babe Ruth?" he said grinning as he steered their truck around a wide bend in the road.

Blake gave a tut. "It's not Babe Ruth, Negan..."

But the dark-haired Saviour, from the driver' seat, shrugged. "Hell, then I don' fuckin' know. Can't I just give up already, Sweetheart?" he asked.

Blake gave another sigh and accepted defeat finally, giving him a cross look, shifting slightly in her seat and staring moodily out of the window beside her instead.

"Ok fine," she snapped. "But it was Eugene, if you wanted to know."

Negan gave a long puff of air, smirking to himself. "An' we're back to Dr Smarty Pants again," he commented in a teasing voice. "You know I'm still not one hundred percent convinced that you an' him don' have some sorta' secret fuckin' thing goin' on, Doll-face. You positive that that kid inside you's definitely mine?"

But Blake couldn't help but give a laugh, her eyes twinkling as she looked over at the leader of the Saviours, sat beside her.

"It definitely is," she replied, before giving a light shrug of her slender shoulders. "But maybe if he's more up for playing twenty questions with me than you are, I should think about switching men."

Her tone dripped with a very obvious sarcasm now, that caused Negan to look her way, smiling widely and showing off his straight white teeth in a wolf-like grin.

"He might be more up for playin' shit like that with you, Darlin'. But you know for a fact that he ain't gonna be able to eat you out like I can..." Negan suddenly uttered arrogantly. "His tongue's too busy mumblin' out a damn thesaurus full'a long-ass words, to be tasting that sweet spot between those gorgeous thighs of yours. So I think when it comes down to it, I'd be a damn winner everyday. Twenty questions or not."

Blake pursed her lips together tightly, pausing for a moment, before suddenly letting out a stifled laugh.

"You're an asshole," she said rolling her eyes again and staring out at the rainy windshield before her, feeling Negan's dark eyes on her face.

But Negan just gave a nonchalant grimace.

"An asshole that's good in the sack though, right?" he growled smugly.

The blonde woman hovered for a long moment before closing her eyes slowly, smirking and shaking her head.

"Asshole..." she muttered under her breath, her lack of a viable argument obviously confirming his statement as true.

Negan, beside her, grinned again, but didn't say a word, the only sound being heard being the rain and the short screech of brakes as he slowed the slick truck near to the side of the road.

He lifted his gloved hand suddenly, pointing.

"You see that?" he said, a frown shifting its way between his brows suddenly.

Curious, Blake slid across the seat, moving closer to the window to take a look through the never ending rain splatters.

But sure enough, there was something up ahead, just visible through the trees.

Was it a house?

Or a shed?

It looked like a neat white building whatever it was. Painted white, with white wooden shutters on the windows.

"Yeah, I see it..." Blake murmured, peering out. "We should go take a look."

As soon as she has said it, she heard Negan make to scoff and open his mouth to refuse her request.

But Blake turned to him, scowling sharply. "No Negan, no arguments. I want to go look. It might have a some supplies or a garden," she said poignantly. "Winter will be here soon and even with tributes coming in from other camps, we've still got a lot of people to feed."

Her case was a weak one, she knew that, but she missed being outside the walls. She had lived out here for a long time, with David and her small group, surviving. And she knew that pregnant or not she could handle herself out there.

But Negan didn't look too convinced, his bearded jaw clenched tightly, a tick working its way through his cheek.

But after what felt like an eternity, Negan finally gave a humongous huff, before pointing her way with a gloved finger.

"Alright fine," he said, sounding slightly peeved. "But you keep your ass with me, we clear? None of your wandering off shit, this time."

Blake nodded seriously.

"Jesus, fuckin' Christ," he mused, dragging a hand down his chin and switching off the engine. "Here I am, pussy-whipped by a damn wolf in sheep's clothin'. I used to be a damn badass, before you came along, Peaches."

Blake wrinkled her nose smiling, but she leaned over, patting his hand comfortingly.

"I know," she said soothingly, before shifting in her seat towards the passenger side door, her hand hovering over her belt as she did so.

From behind her, she heard Negan give a sigh, giving his own door a shove open before stepping out into the rain with a "shit."

Blake followed suit quickly enough, and almost immediately agreed with Negan's outburst, wincing as the rain drenched her instantly.

She braced her shoulders, shivering a little as she flung on her jacket over her wet shirt.

"Ugh, what is with this weather?" she complained, but Negan who had strolled easily around the truck, Lucille brought up onto his shoulder, obviously wasn't listening.

Instead his chocolate eyes were darting this way and that, as he came to stop beside her, as tall and as looming as ever.

"Alright, we keep to the woods," he said in a stiff tone, pressing his free hand to her lower back and urging her forwards. "I ain't riskin' the damn road."

Blake nodded.

She knew the drill. She had done this plenty of times before.

She glanced over at the building again, much clearer from their view here.

From here she could make out that it was indeed a house, with a pretty white front door and porch that seemed to look out onto a small overgrown garden. Around that, was a small white picket fence, with two identical pale blue planters which now homed only long-deceased flowers.

"C'mon," said Negan in a low voice, gesturing with his head over to the close-knit trees which surrounded outer perimeter of the house.

Blake knew it was unlikely there would be anything of real value to them here, but her rule while she was out there scavenging for anything she could find for those long, sorry years, had been to never leave a place unchecked.

There were very few things from the past these days that Blake considered treasures. Things that she had once coveted. Money, expensive clothes and jewellery, her cell phone... things like that, well, they were useless in this world.

Food, medicine, good, hardy walking boots...THOSE were the things she had always been on the lookout for. And the things that had soon proved to be the most elusive once the real looting had started.

Many times, Blake had searched houses, only to find piles of cash hidden in drawers or under mattresses. Diamond earrings and sapphire necklaces, worth more than Blake would have hoped to earn in her lifetime. All pointless now. Worth nothing to anyone.

She had soon learned that the smallest can of tuna or the stalest old box of crackers...now things like that, were worth more than anything.

For nights, she and David and the others she had travelled with, had gone hungry, wasting away...with their only option to keep searching...to carry on. Even when, at her most desperate, Blake on going four days without food, had collapsed from exhaustion, bursting into tears in an empty outhouse one chilly winter's day, almost two long years ago now.

She had been alone and scared. Managing to find a hidden stash of dog food which she had brought back to her group, much to David's vocalised dismay. It had been a low point in her life, amidst all of the pain and horror of this world. But she had survived it.

And here she was now. No longer skin and bones, or forced to wear the same clothes for weeks on end. She was healthy now. And happy too. She had a family, and the man she loved standing right beside her.

But her instincts were still good, despite all David had done to try and twist that out of her. And Blake knew that this place was worth checking out today. It had to be.

She walked side-by-side with Negan, trudging their way through the rain and into the heavily wooded area to their left, leaving the road behind.

The pair of them seemed like good match, both tall and fit and both headstrong enough to keep themselves safe. But despite this, Blake still kept her promise, sticking close to Negan's side, her fingers tensed at the leather holster on her hip.

She chanced a glance over at Negan now, whose faced looked fixed and his jaw tensed hard. He looked far more ruffled than normal, usually cool and cocky, although Blake was certain that had something to do with her presence with him here, as well as the presence of the baby now growing inside her.

It was no surprise that he wanted to protect them both. That was just the way he was...with them at least. Her, Mia, and now the new baby.

They trudged ahead, stopping only once to fell a biter, loping it's way slowly towards them, which Negan swiftly took care of with one foul swing of his baseball bat. And before Blake knew it, they were standing at the tree-line which surrounded the small, one story house and its once-neat little fenced garden.

Blake imagine what this place had been like before. A perfect little home for a family who wanted to get away from it all. It was like something from a storybook nestled safe, just off the road, amongst the trees. With its sweet little porch, and flowered drapes, just about visible through the dusty windows.

The garden was overgrown, a tangle of weeds now, but from this angle, just beyond the rear of the house, Blake could make out a large hardy looking tree with a tire swing hanging from it.

She blinked a little, feeling sad, wondering what had happened to the family that must have lived here, long ago. But she quickly shook these thoughts from her, having learned years ago, that things like that we're not worth dwelling on.

"Let me go ahead, check if the damn coasts clear…" Negan growled out now, his shoulders hunched and tensed.

But Blake merely swatted him with her hand.

"You're not leaving me here," she scolded with a soft whisper. "We can check together."

Negan gave a huff but didn't argue, stepping out of the safety of the tree line and approaching the house, with her at his side.

Blake removed her gun from her belt, holding it aloft, waiting for a tell-tale sound that told them that they were not alone, but as they both climbed the steps of the porch and peered in through the windows, the place did indeed look as deserted as it seemed from the outside.

Blake tentatively made her way over to the back door, trying the handle and allowing the door to swing back on its hinges, bracing herself against the nauseating smell that was likely to drift out towards her.

That had taken some used to at the start of everything. For the scent of the rotting dead in an enclosed space was something she would never get any easier to handle.

But thankfully, this house smelled of nothing but stale dust, singed from the hot sun of summer.

The blonde woman took a step inside, her foot creaking against the white painted floorboards, causing Negan to frown severely.

She felt his hand on on the small of her back once again, keeping as close to her as he could.

Blake looked about.

The place was small yet cosy, obviously having been lived in recently, with a long-abandoned sleeping bag, lying abandoned across the couch, as well as a couple of tins of opened, crusty, dried up tomatoes, lying on the coffee table beside it.

Negan soon strode across the small living area to check on the other rooms next door, whilst Blake wandered slowly over to the fireplace, where the remnants of a fire, long gone cold, spilled out onto the rug just in front of it.

It was an eerie thing to be in a place like this, such a quiet space, after the hustle of bustle of being at the Sanctuary day in-day out.

But there was a gentle sort of hum about this house, a warmth that Blake could feel resonating through her.

Silently, she bent down to pick up a rumpled photograph, hanging out of a broken picture-frame lying underneath the blue ashes at her feet, turning it over in her hands as she eased herself to standing once more.

The picture showed a faded colour photograph of a young couple standing outside in the garden of this very house, next to that old tire swing outside. A smiling young boy of about six years old, standing between them, a soccer ball underneath one arm.

The caramel-blonde woman tilted her head to one side, feeling a lone tear suddenly slide its way down her cheek, just as she heard the sound of recognisable footsteps behind her.

She glanced around as Negan's dark eyes met with hers, his face suddenly becoming a picture of utter concern as he took in the tears that were strewn across her gentle features.

"You alright, Darlin'?" he asked, searching her face, as he moved over to her.

But Blake merley offered him a soft smile, shaking her head, and replacing the photo frame on top of the mantelpiece gently.

"I'm fine," she murmured reassuringly. "Just a bit hormonal, that's all."

Negan came to stand at her side, eyeing the photo for only a second before tearing his eyes away uninterestedly.

"Place looks clear, not even any of those dead pricks inside. Looks like we got lucky," he commented, his chocolate eyes drifting to the wide window that looked out onto the rear garden beyond.

Blake glanced at him. "Well we should take a look around," she said, replacing her gun back into the holster on her belt. "See if there's anything worth taking back with us."

But Negan gave a small scoff at her words, shifting his weight from foot-to-foot, peering closer to squint out of the window.

"Pfft. I fuckin' doubt it, Sweetheart," he said in a bored tone. "Place looks pretty fuckin' loooted alaredy. Sons of bitches who were here before us made one hell of goddamn mess of that kitchen."

He nodded over towards the small archway that led into the kitchen just visible beyond.

Blake crossed the room now, and peered inside herself to see the small white worktops all covered in flour and rice and other things that had been torn hastily from cupboards.

The place had obviously once belonged to people who had been very house proud, with faded fake flowers sat in a dusty vase on the windowsill, as well as a crocheted 'home sweet home' sign hanging above the dining table in the corner of the room.

Blake gave a sigh, taking a small step further into the kitchen and running a finger over the flowery fake-marble worktop, where small black bugs jumped and danced as she did so.

This was the kind of home she would have dreamed of owning when she was a little girl. It was nothing fancy but it felt just so homely and inviting, and Blake imagined now what it had been like on a warm summers' day, with the doors flung open and the smell of honeysuckle drifting in from the garden, as she sat on the porch and watched her kids play on the tire swing in the back garden.

Another small sigh drifted pst her lips as the floorboards creaked behind her and Negan appeared in the doorway, propping himself up against the wall beside him easily.

"So what are we thinkin'?" he said with a small grin. "Vacation home number two?"

But Blake licked at her lips, staring around and giving a smile.

"Mmmmm, I don't know," she mused after a moment or two, wrinkling her nose lightly. "I'd say it's more like a forever home."

Negan's gaze lingered on her face for a few seconds.

"Hmmmm. You think we should move in?" he teased gently, watching now as Blake moved around the counter.

But the blonde woman just smiled.

"Maybe…" she replied coyly, pushing open the door to a small pantry to disappointingly find it empty save for a couple of packets of out of date cat food.

It was a silly dream, but one that she knew Negan or anyone else in this fucked up world would understand her wanting, especially with a baby on the way.

But the Sanctuary was safer. She knew that. And as much as she wanted this, she knew it would always be nothing but a dream.

Negan turned on his heel heading back into the living room, as Blake took one final look around the empty kitchen, letting out one last sigh and following him….

…...but what neither of them were aware of, was a sudden movement, in the trees just outside the small white house...

...just outside the kitchen window….

...and perhaps, if they had paid a little more attention, one of them might have noticed, that through the rain, and the trees, and the dusty-paned windows….

….they were, indeed, being watched.

(Gif credit belongs to the owners.)

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[filosofablogger]

Neither fools nor angst nor Trump nor rabbit holes stays Jill & Jolly from bringing humour to their friends.

And thus, here we are, a bit ruffled, a bit worn and torn, but nonetheless doing what we can to find humour amid the rubble.

We apologize, but you’ll find the smorgasbord a bit limited today … no sweets, for I have run out of sugar and apparently there was a run on it, as there is none at the grocery.  And no bacon, for the store had only one brand and it was $6.99 a pound!!!  When the day comes that I pay $7 for a lousy pound of bacon, you’ll know I’ve lost the last of my marbles!  I best be careful, though, for I remember back in the early 1970s when I made the claim that I would never pay $1 for a gallon of gasoline!

Anyway, I asked Jolly to scroung around in the pantry and see what he could find, so grab a bite, a cuppa, and let’s see if we can find a chuckle somewhere in here, shall we?

JOLLY!!!!  You weren’t supposed to take a bit of everything!  And … onions?  Oh Jolly, you even spilt the coffee!  Sigh … ah well, you did the best you could.  Sorry, folks … there’s a Taco Bell just across the street if you’d like to go get a snack.  We’ll do better next week!

Beer please?

Olive Veronesi is 93 and lives alone in the tiny community of Seminole, Pennsylvania, population 84.  Seminole used to have their own post office, until it closed in September 2002, but they do still have their own zip code!  Now, my friend Herb lives in Pennsylvania, though not Seminole, and from him I know that Governor Wolf ordered all liquor stores shut down last month, saying they aren’t considered an ‘essential business’.  Some might argue that point.  Anyway … I digress.

Last week, Olive ran out of … beer!  GASP!!!  She was seen holding a sign from her window …

News station KDKA-TV shared a photo on Facebook where it went viral (some people have far too much time on their hands these days!).  Several neighbors offered to get her some beer, but the real kicker was when Coors Light said in a Twitter post that Veronesi would soon be receiving some beer directly from the company! 

Hmmmm … I wonder … if I stand in my window with my empty wine bottle and a sign, do you think the company might send me a case?

Emergency???

There are many reasons one might call 9-1-1, or in the UK, 9-9-9.  A burglary in process, someone having a heart attack, a missing child, domestic violence.  But this was a new one, and I cannot begin to imagine the thought processes of the person who called the emergency police number.

It happened in the UK when a call came in to the Essex Police Department’s emergency number.  The caller wished to report that he/she could hear a neighbor … snoring.  Yep, folks … snoring.

Now, my neighbors have a teenage son, and sometimes he likes the music a bit loud … um, to the point it shakes the pictures on my walls, but even so, I would not call 9-1-1!!!  Sheesh.

The police advised the caller that “snoring is never a reason to call 999, no matter how annoying it is.”  Here, the caller would likely have been fined, and rightly so!

Oops!

Volunteer firefighter Charles Calvin of New Chicago, Indiana (not to be confused with plain ol’ Chicago in Illinois) needed to withdraw $200 from the ATM to do a bit of shopping last weekend.  So, while he was at it, he thought he would check and see if his $1,700 stimulus check had been deposited to his account yet.  Imagine his surprise when the machine spit out a receipt that said his balance was $8.2 million!  Needless to say, there was a mistake and the bank sorted it all on Monday.  Charles said he wasn’t sure if the error was on the part of his bank, or by the IRS as they arranged the direct deposit of his check.  I’m betting the latter.  Said Charles …

“It kind of sucks. You go from being a millionaire one second then back to being broke again. But hey, once you’re poor you don’t have anywhere else to go but up.”

And Oops again!

Nick Blanusha of plain ol’ Chicago in Illinois (not to be confused with New Chicago in Indiana) also had a financial oops last week!  He went to the grocery store to pick up the order he had placed online earlier, and paid for the order totaling $90.96 with his debit card.

“I signed the receipt got in my car and then went home to check my bank account to see if my stimulus check had hit and, uh, noticed that it was empty. And I looked back at the receipt and noticed I had been charged $11,500.”

He immediately contacted the store but was told it would take up to five business days to refund the money to his account!!!  At this point, I would have been at the store cracking some heads!

Nick, however, did a very smart thing (most people are smarter than me in such situations) and contacted Chicago television station WLS-TV.  Funny how well that worked!  It wasn’t long before Nick received a call from the grocery store’s corporate offices, apologizing profusely and the very next day, refunded the entire amount of the charge, including the $90.96 for his order.  Plus, they promised to pay any overdraft fees he might incur as a result of the error.

Just enough time left for some ‘toons ‘n memes … let’s see what we can find over at Phil’s Phun …

No, I swear this is not me!!!

And last, but certainly not least, we’ve got time for a short cute animal video … you’ll love this one!

This one’s for Hugh … thought you might need this today, my friend!

Have a great decent week, my friends … get outside, enjoy the beauty of nature, go for long walks … anything to take your mind off of … stuff.  Much love and many hugs from Filosofa and Jolly!

Jolly Monday … Stuff ‘n More Stuff Neither fools nor angst nor Trump nor rabbit holes stays Jill & Jolly from bringing humour to their friends.

[ellenembee]

The Revelation of All Things - 50. In which she gets by with a little help (from her friends)

Read the full fic on AO3.

Read on Tumblr (desktop)

Bull and Varric watched from their regular table as the Inquisitor emerged from Josephine's office into the main hall. Bull raised his hand to get her attention, but she didn't look his way at all. Instead, she walked quickly to her own door and disappeared through it, her posture stiff and her face emotionless. If he were anyone else, he probably wouldn't have noticed a thing. But he wasn't anyone else.

"Hmmmmm..."

Varric nodded. "Yeah. Wonder what's up?"

Figures that the dwarf would notice, too.

"Don't know. But here comes someone who does."

Unlike the Inquisitor, Leliana made a beeline for the table where he and Varric were enjoying their evening meal.

"Bull. Just who I was looking for. Come with me."

"Uh, sure thing, Red."

Leliana barely glanced at him as she passed by. Bull and Varric shared a mutual look of surprise, but Bull quickly got up and followed the spymaster up to her rookery. When they reached the top, Bull stood patiently as she sent her agents out. Finally, she crossed her arms and let out a small huff.

"I need your assistance," she said quietly, mindful of the center opening into the library below.

"Sure. What's up?" he replied in a similar low tone.

"I'm not sure, yet. Josephine has been trying to reinstate her family's ability to trade in Orlais, but someone has killed her couriers and destroyed the paperwork. I have uncovered a few leads, but the more I find, the more worried I become that someone will make an attempt on Josie's life. I don't want to worry her prematurely, but I would be immensely grateful for another set of eyes and ears on the ground here in Skyhold. And if you see or hear of anything useful from your Ben-Hassrath contacts, let me know."

"Absolutely. Are we talking a noble with a grudge or professional assassins?"

"Everything points to assassins. I'm not sure if they've been hired by someone else or if they themselves have a grudge against the Montilyet family."

"Hmmmm... I'll send out feelers within the network. Between the two of us, I'm sure we can track this down."

Leliana nodded. "Thank you, Bull. Your help is appreciated."

Bull chuckled. "Hey, that's what you pay me for, right? I'll be honest, though. This wasn't the conversation I expected."

"Oh? How so?"

"Varric and I saw the Inquisitor leave your little tea party. She didn't look so happy. I mean, to us. No one else would have noticed, but..."

"Ahhh... yes. Well, that's something else entirely. We have been receiving some... unpleasant messages from various citizens about the impropriety of the rumored affair between our Inquisitor and her Commander. The whispered talk in the back rooms and dark hallways all over Thedas is worse. She did not take it well."

"What are they saying?"

"Here. You can read them yourself if you like."

Leliana handed him a small stack of parchment. As he quickly skimmed the notes, he found himself cursing under his breath. The vitriol directed at the Commander in particular for "sullying himself" with a "knife-eared upstart" sickened him. Some even went so far as to compare him to Andraste's betrayer and husband, Maferath, and warned that the Commander would betray their Herald of Andraste soon enough. Many more, however, were directly degrading to the Inquisitor's status as an elf and a mage.

"These people insane," he muttered under his breath.

Leliana laughed. "Quite possibly. The conspiracy theories and ravings of sick people never cease to amaze me. It's one reason I have always strived to remain in the shadows. And the reality of an organization this large is that we could very well be torn apart from within, so it is best to keep them around as a reminder of what we hope to avoid."

"Anyone who knows her - anyone who knows the Commander for that matter - would never say such shitty things."

"Which is why it is important that she continue to travel around Thedas closing rifts and uniting people against Corypheus. In the end, we do not need these crazy townsfolk to believe in us. We need the average person and the powerful to recognize and join with us. Before our alliance with Orlais, we would occasionally receive a scathing note from this or that noble, but since the Empress offered her support, those messages have largely turned into whispers behind closed doors. The rich and powerful know where their bread is buttered, and right now, it is with us."

"I guess." Bull narrowed his one good eye. "In that spirit, perhaps you wouldn't object to a possible alliance with the Qunari, then?"

Usually, Leliana was too good at the Game to let her emotions show. His offer, however, clearly took her by surprise.

"I... I don't know. What kind of alliance?"

Bull shrugged. "Don't know, yet. There've been flutters among the Ben-Hassrath about it. I know they'll require a show of good faith. I just didn't think it'd be something you'd entertain. But maybe you wouldn't object if I brought it up with the boss?"

"I... don't suppose there's any harm in at least hearing what they have to say. I've never heard of the Qunari allying with anyone before."

Bull gave her a smug grin. "That's because they never have. Corypheus is bad news. They know that as well as anyone."

"Corypheus is a threat to their hope of ever conquering Tevinter."

Bull laughed. In truth, he wasn't sure of the motivation behind such an offer, but he wasn't in a position to question it.

"Well, yes. That's part of it."

"Run it by the Inquisitor. If she approves, we'll talk more about it."

Bull nodded and turned to leave, but Leliana's voice stopped him.

"Will you let the other companions know that the Inquisitor and Commander will be out for the next few days on Inquisition business?"

Bull threw Leliana a lewd look over his shoulder as he descended the stairs. She smirked at him in return.

By the time he reached the great hall, Dorian had joined Varric at the table. Bull sat down at his plate and started eating again. The other two just stared at him until Varric loudly and deliberately cleared his throat.

"Well?"

"The Inquisitor is going to be gone for the next few days on Inquisition business."

The dwarf gave him a shrewd look. "On 'business'? Without her companions?"

"Yup." Bull paused, reveling in the reveal. "And with the Commander."

Dorian let out a low whistle. "Well, well, well. Who would've thought he'd work up the nerve? I wonder where they're going." He started to stand. "Perhaps I should go give the Commander some pointers..."

Bull put his hand on the mage's shoulder and gently pushed him back down into his chair. "She and the Commander are reviewing the work of a blacksmith near Honnleath. They'll be taking a few soldiers with them. I wouldn't call it a romantic trip, Dorian."

The mage tinged red at the contact but said nothing. Since their last trip together, tensions between himself and the Tevinter mage were now at critical levels, but Dorian had yet to make a move. Either it would end in mayhem or in the bedroom. Bull would prefer the latter - not least because the former might upset their Inquisitor. Regardless, he decided to leave the teasing for later. They had more important matters to deal with tonight. Dorian brushed Bull's hand off his shoulder and made a petulant face.

"Spoilsport. I could have gotten at least four or five blushes out of the Commander before he threw me out of his office."

Varric snickered but then turned almost immediately back to Bull with a more serious expression. "What else?"

"She's been getting some hate mail. Pretty awful stuff. Some of it about her and the Commander... Rumors and such. I'm sure you can relate. Not everyone loves your fiction as much as Cassandra."

"Well. Shit. I certainly can. My editor usually keeps most of it out of my sight, though. It takes some time to get desensitized to things like that. I'm surprised Leliana even showed her the letters."

"I don't think she saw them. Just heard about them. But it's something she'll need to get used to as a public figure. Sheltering her from these things won't help her."

He firmly believed it, but it didn't make it any easier to take. Bull sometimes wished the Inquisitor had a thicker skin. Then again, she wouldn't be her if she did.

The three of them fell into a solemn silence, each chewing through their dinners slowly, wrapped up in their own thoughts. After a few minutes, Hawke approached, plate in hand, and looked them over. Her bow-shaped lips contorted in displeasure. Bull just shrugged at her as Dorian let out a deep sigh and took a long drink from his wine.

"I'd ask if someone died, but in our line of work, the answer is far too likely to be yes," she joked as she sat down next to Varric and then frowned at the complete lack of response. "Alright. I'll bite. What's up? I don't think I've ever seen the three of you this quiet. Either you're planning something really big - in which case, I want in - or something really depressing just happened - and I should probably know about it whether I want to or not."

Varric filled her in on the conversation. There was a bit of a lull before Varric took a sarcastic poke at Hawke.

"You've never had to deal with people who hated you before, have you?"

"Oh, no! Not at all. A Circle full of hostile mages and templars, Qunari, Carta, Coterie, various and sundry evil doers whose plots and schemes I've ruined, Chantry Mothers, a decimated city full of angry people..." She paused, but when no one spoke, she continued airily, "Plenty of people said nasty things about me, but I never believe any of it. Deep down, I'm sure they all really adore me. Cullen did. If I can turn a stodgy templar like him, I must be some kind of badass hero or something. Still glad that man finally came to his senses in the end. He's a good sort, even if he does have a stick up his ass most of the time." She leaned back and looked at them all in turn. "But if you're all so concerned for your lovely Inquisitor, why aren't you upstairs cheering her up?"

After a long pause, Dorian stood suddenly. "Excellent question, my dear." He picked up his bottle of wine and a couple of glasses off the table then looked around expectantly. "Well?"

Bull shrugged. Just because she needed to learn how to deal with it didn't mean she needed to do it alone.

"I'm in. You two coming?"

Hawke held up her hands. "I wouldn't want to intrude on family bonding time."

"You've got a shit ton of experience with this sort of thing, though," Bull reminded her.

Hawke seemed to waver as she considered Bull's point. Varric finally got up and grabbed her by the elbow.

"Come on. If we don't cheer her up, she'll be stewing on this all night. Grab another bottle or three, Sparkler. If we're gonna do this, we should do it up right."

Dorian gave a little cheer and pulled another few bottles off a nearby table. They finagled their way past the guards and took the stairs up to the Inquisitor's quarters. After a short but heated debate on whether they should knock, Bull pounded his fist on the door. They heard nothing until a small voice called out from the other side.

"Who's there?"

"Everyone, apparently," Dorian said jovially. "But more specifically, it's me, Varric, Bull, and Hawke. You looked a little down earlier, so we've come to cheer you up... with wine!"

The lock clicked, and the Inquisitor's tired face appeared. She smiled at them weakly, and it was apparent to all that she'd shed a few tears at least. Bull felt a little twinge of regret that they hadn't thought to come up sooner. What the woman needed was a distraction. If the Commander couldn't provide that tonight, then it was up to them.

"Well, as long as you have wine..."

She backed away and waved her hand for them to ascend the stairs into her quarters. As soon as they crested the stairs, Hawke gave a long, low whistle and threw herself down on the couch in front of the fire.

"Fancy digs, Inquisitor! Must be pretty lonely up here on your own, though."

The Inquisitor motioned for everyone to sit. Varric sat on the couch with Hawke, and Dorian lounged on the rug in front of the fire. Bull took a spot toward the back against the wall next to the fire place. The Inquisitor sat on the floor in front of the couch. From his spot, Bull could see everyone's face except Dorian's.

"It took some getting used to - the being alone. Those first few weeks in Haven, I thought I might go stir crazy in that tiny cabin by myself. But I've adjusted fairly well. We're often out in the field anyway. The large windows and tall ceilings here help, too."

Bull considered her words. He knew a little about the Dalish, but he hadn't really stopped to consider how the different customs might affect her.

"You were never alone in your clan?" he queried.

"Not really, no. Not like you mean. I... kept to myself more often than the others, but even then, we all slept near each other. Having a big space like this to myself is quite out of the ordinary. Half my clan could fit in here. It does have its upsides, though. I've even developed a taste for shemlen beds."

Dorian made a face as he handed each of them a glass of wine. "I can't imagine sleeping on the ground all the time. And around a whole group of people? It's bad enough when we're traveling around the back hills of Ferelden and Orlais. Give me a fluffy bed with plush velvet pillows, a full wine cellar and possibly a nice bubble bath."

Varric chuckled. "Yes, Dorian. We're all aware of your idea of the 'bare necessities.'" Dorian merely gave Varric a disdainful look, so the dwarf continued, "I don't mind sleeping on the ground. Maker knows I had to do enough of it while wandering around Sundermount with Hawke."

"Hey! I never made you come along. You were there of your own free will... unlike here, I understand. Something about being conscripted - detained and questioned about a certain dashing warrior's whereabouts?"

Varric shook his head. "The things I do for you..."

Hawke looked around at them with a smug look. "See? Unmitigated adoration."

Bull watched a small smile play at the corners of the Inquisitor's mouth as the two friends bantered back and forth. But she had yet to truly smile, and the glass of wine Dorian provided earlier sat untouched on the floor.

"I'm not sure how you do it, Hawke... stay so positive in the face of such darkness."

"My dearest Inquisitor, never mistake sarcasm and arrogance for positivity. I've got the former in large supply, but positivity? That's a hard commodity to come by. I have to admit, I'm impressed by your fortitude. Running the Inquisition - an organization this large - with so much responsibility... I'm not sure how you manage to stay sane."

The Inquisitor finally gave them a real, albeit small, smile. "It is a bit terrifying, isn't it? But I've made good friends here. My advisors and companions have been the real driving force behind the success of the Inquisition. And, of course, people like you and Stroud - strong warriors sacrificing themselves once again for the greater good. The Inquisition couldn't succeed without you - without all of you."

Hawke blinked once and then broke into a wide grin. "That was quite amazing what you did there. We came up here to cheer you up, and suddenly you're giving us a pep talk. If I didn't know better, I'd think you were buttering us up for some awful battle in the desert wastelands of Orlais... ... oh, wait..."

She winked at the Inquisitor, and Bull laughed. Hawke was certainly a larger than life personality, but in retrospect, he found himself glad that the job of Inquisitor hadn't fallen in her lap. Their Inquisitor might be quiet sometimes. She might have moments of doubt and introspection. But she had an inherent kindness held up by an iron will. She never pushed her advantage unless absolutely necessary. It wasn't his style, per se, but people like him and Hawke didn't need to be in charge of organizations like this one.

And your fellow followers of the Qun would probably exile you for even thinking like that.

He should be figuring out weaknesses and finding ways to exploit the kingdoms of Ferelden and Orlais. He shouldn't care about who was in charge of the Inquisition as long as that person eliminated the threat - Corypheus. The Qun allowed no personal thoughts, only honor and duty to the exclusion of all else. He was supposed to be working to help these lost people comprehend "the way." Perhaps he'd been a spy among the unenlightened for too long. He'd begun to think like them, and even more troubling, he wasn't nearly as upset about it as he should be.

"Don't let her fool you, Snowflake," Varric warned. "She's just using that sarcasm to cover up her glaring insecurities. Hawke's not as invincible as she seems. You should have seen her after Fenris left-"

"Maker's balls, Varric! That was a special circumstance and has long since been resolved, as you well know. A minor blip in the heroic history of Marian Hawke."

Varric's eyes positively twinkled. "How is Fenris, by the way? Still as broodingly handsome and gratingly rude as ever, I expect."

"As if I'd be with anyone who wasn't at least as pretty as me... Fenris is fine, thank you. It's only taken... what? A month or two for you to ask?"

"Well, I never know what to expect. You're on, then you're off, then you're on-"

Hawke leaned back on the couch, crossed her arms in front of her, and gave them all an exaggerated roll of her eyes. "One time. One time he ran away from our relationship-"

"-for three years-" Varric inserted.

"-because he'd been hurt! And anyway, you're just jealous."

Varric let out a sarcastic laugh. "Me? Jealous of that depressing elf?"

Bull heard the note of bitterness in Varric's tone and filed it away for later while he watched the Inquisitor's expression go from mildly amused and slightly uncomfortable to rapt attention in a split second. No one else seemed to notice, not even the typically observant dwarf... although Varric clearly had some issues to work through where Marian Hawke was concerned. Dorian turned his head to look back at Bull with a devilish grin on his face.

"This is quite entertaining," he murmured with a quirk of his perfectly manicured brow.

And Varric wasn't through, yet. "You're kidding, right? If you're still together, where is Fenris now?"

"He's got his own things to take care of. Besides, you know he would die to protect me. I'd rather not give him the opportunity."

"He's just ok with that? The Fenris I know would be livid that you left him behind."

Hawke raised an eyebrow and turned to look at the others. "Oh, hello everyone! Don't mind us! Same conversation, different day. Here I thought we'd cheer up the Inquisitor, maybe eat some fancy treats from snooty nobles... instead you get an earful about my love life. At least you do look a little cheered up. Glad to know my relationship foibles are entertaining. Got any chocolates?"

The Inquisitor smiled. "No chocolates, but I do have cookies."

She got up to retrieve a large, ornate tin from her desk and passed it around. There was a brief, awkward lull as everyone chewed on Orlesian caramel cookies. Finally the Inquisitor spoke.

"I don't mean to pry, but... you're with an elf?"

Hawke gave her a confused look. "Yes, Fenris is an elf. He was a slave in Tevinter for a long time. I helped free him from his master, Danarius."

"Oh. I didn't know that. I've only read bits and pieces of the Tale of the-"

"Don't bother," Hawke interrupted with a wave of her hand. "That book is not even close to an accurate depiction of what happened. But Varric likes to take 'artistic liberties' with the truth. Be careful or you, too, might end up a celebrity on the run."

Varric rolled his eyes. "You're so dramatic, Hawke. You know I just want you to be happy..."

Hawke reached over and pulled him into a bear hug. "Oh, there's my trusty dwarf!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah."

Varric grumbled, but he was grinning ear to ear. Bull chuckled to himself at their complex relationship. Except for the deeply buried undertone of sexual tension, they reminded him strongly of a Qunari relationship. For the Qunari, sex and relationships existed in completely separate spheres.

Bull reflected briefly on Dorian. Even if their game of cat and mouse ended with casual sex at some point, the idea of sleeping with someone he knew - someone he worked with on a regular basis - was decidedly un-Qunari. And as with his shifting thoughts, that didn't bother him as much as it should. On a superficial level, he understood that he should probably analyze those thoughts a bit harder, but he couldn't seem to summon the strength for it. So, he shook his head as if to clear the thoughts away and focused on the Inquisitor once more.

"Do you ever find that being with him makes things... harder for you? Do you feel like you have fewer opportunities?"

Hawke furrowed her brow. "I don't quite follow..."

"I mean... do people treat you differently because he's there? Because he's... not human."

Hawke smiled and slowly nodded her head in understanding. "Ahhh... I see what you're asking. Do I feel slighted or that I've missed out on opportunities from bigoted, idiotic people because I'm with an elf?"

The Inquisitor blushed. "I... sorry. You don't have to answer."

"No. I'm happy to let you know that I've never cared what others thought of my relationship with Fenris-" she shot a glare at Varric "-or what 'opportunities' I might miss. I love him. He's far more valuable to me than a few lost jobs or whispered insults. And the advantage of being a warrior is no one insults you to your face unless they're looking for a fight. It's a part of life." She paused and then added with a small smile, "If I know Cullen at all - which I do - he doesn't care, either. He doesn't do anything by halves. If he said he's in, he's all in. Educating some backward ass hats on how to treat his woman won't bother him a bit."

The Inquisitor's face flushed deep red, and she looked down at her hands. "Um... yes. Thank you. I appreciate your candor. Still... it's hard knowing I could potentially harm him by simply existing and being with him. I'm not used to shem- human culture, but the disparagement of elves seems universal."

Dorian gave her a sheepish half smile. "I wish I could argue, but as you've just heard, my own country actively keeps elves as slaves. The best I can offer is that there are many in Tevinter who would like to see that change."

"And there are people like you, Snowflake," Varric added softly, "making that change happen... even if it is gradual. What you did in Orlais - Briala being named the first elven nobility - that will have consequences far and wide. You are actively making the world a better place for elves with every move you make. If... when you defeat Corypheus, you'll secure your place as another elven hero of Thedas... I'll make sure of that."

Varric grinned, and the Inquisitor laughed. "I knew you were writing all this down!"

"I'll at least have a cameo appearance, right?" Hawke queried. "Don't write me as too tragic should the worst befall me in this siege."

Varric laughed at Hawke's long-suffering tone and the hand she'd thrown against her forehead with dramatic flourish. Then he shuddered.

"Don't jinx it, Hawke!"

Bull let his mind drift as the conversation turned to more mundane topics. They spoke a little about the siege and then more about some odd happenings around Skyhold involving a barrel full of daggers and some missing cheese. Then the Inquisitor asked for a story, and Hawke and Varric took some time to argue about which story to tell. Eventually they settled on the Kirkwall Rebellions because the Inquisitor needed to know how "badass" her Commander really was. And indeed, if even a portion of the story were true, Bull had to credit the Commander with his bravery in the face of a mad woman. Varric had settled into full storyteller mode, his voice undulating with the emotion of the story, and Bull relaxed into the stone wall as he watched the others watch Varric.

"Meredith ordered the templars to kill Hawke, but Cullen refused and demanded the Knight-Commander step down. When he took his stand, he had no way of knowing whether his fellow templars would back him up. They very well could have followed Meredith's orders to kill all of us. But he stepped right between Hawke and Meredith, raised his sword against his Knight-Commander and shouted, 'You'll have to go through me!' It was chaos for a while after that, but the Commander fought with us valiantly."

Bull chuckled slightly at the proud but shy look on the Inquisitor's face as she listened to Varric and Hawke sing his praises. If Cullen were here, he'd be blushing wildly and arguing that his stand had come far too late - that he should have seen through Meredith sooner. But this was Varric and Hawke's show for the Inquisitor, and they were going to play it up as much as possible.

"Meredith was reduced to a toxic statue, and Cullen, now leading the templars, let us go in peace. He spent most of his time working with one of our other companions, Aveline, to rebuild Kirkwall until the Seeker tapped him a few years later to join her little start-up organization. Something about an Inquisition..."

The Inquisitor laughed. "And you told her you didn't have any idea how to find the Champion. So they made me Inquisitor instead."

Hawke shook her head. "You're the one with the glowy mark that closes rifts. I just defended a city against a Qunari invasion and took out a mad Knight-Commander."

"Among other things," Varric mumbled.

The Inquisitor laughed again and looked around her, resting her eyes on each of them in turn. Bull suddenly felt naked under her gaze, as if he had no defenses. He averted his eye, unsure of why he was reacting that way.

"Thank you all so much. This has been a lovely evening... just the distraction I needed, as you all seemed to already know. I'm not sure what I did to deserve such friends."

"Besides saving our asses on a regular basis?"

The Inquisitor grinned at Varric's question. "Yes, besides that."

"I'll write up a list," he promised.

They all laughed and then stood to go. Bull was the last to wish her a goodnight. As he was about to walk out her door, though, a small hand on his arm stopped him.

"Thank you again, Bull. Also, I'll be back in a few days if there's anything you'd like to discuss."

Bull was stunned. He literally couldn't think of anything to say except, "Uh... what?"

"You just seem like you have something on your mind. If you'd like to talk about it, I'm happy to listen."

Bull wracked his brain for any way she could have possibly talked with Leliana before he'd come up the stairs. Perhaps a note? But why would the spymaster have sent a note about that?

"Uh, sure boss. Just have a question for you. Nothing special."

"OK. I'll come find you when I get back."

"Sounds good. I'll... uh... let you get to sleep now. Safe travels."

"Thank you. Good night."

Bull walked out and waved nonchalantly as she closed and locked the door behind him. Inside, however, he was reeling from her pointed comment. Was he that easy to read? He'd never been before. Varric had mentioned something about her uncanny ability to sense when someone was hiding something, but he wasn't really hiding anything. He couldn't hide what he didn't know.

But he did suspect the Qunari were up to something. Perhaps that's what she'd picked up on. That meant that he had a tell, though. A Ben-Hassrath couldn't afford tells, especially ones the leader of the Inquisition could suss out. The Iron Bull frowned and knew he wouldn't be getting much sleep tonight as he sifted through anything and everything that might have given him away.