#what a talented fox my god

[milkybleachtea]

<3

these are some of the BEST PICTURES IVE EVER SEEN IM BOUTA CRY <33333333

[dr3c0mix]

All You Need

Yandere! Bodyguard x Gn Reader

CW: obsessive behavior, minor stalking

i changed his name, his old name was doo doo, it was but a trick of the light

IM CHANGING HIS NAME AGAI-

♠️ Never before would you have ever considered hiring a bodyguard, you could defend yourself on your own just fine, but with all your rival manufacturers trying to get you out of the competition with assassinations and attempted kidnappings, you had no choice.

♠️ Feelings were a very rare thing for Baron, and he was fine with it, after all, emotions weren't a very helpful thing to have when your job is to kill people. There was no room for soft, sappy things like that when you lived in his side of the city.

♠️ But his cold and empty demeanor was somehow broken through the moment he saw you.

♠️ The smile you had on your face pierced his heart like cupid's arrow, it was like love at first sight for him.

♠️ He was just getting some rest after a particularly stressful job at a nearby bar when he heard the sweetest laughter from across the room.

♠️ There you were, the most beautiful person he's ever laid eyes upon. You were sitting with some other people, talking and drinking together like all the other patrons, but you stood out to him like a precious gem amongst stone.

♠️ It seemed as if the world slowed down when your eyes briefly met his.

♠️ He would now frequent that bar, learning what you like to order, when you get there and who you'd be with.

♠️ He's never talked to you, or even interacted with you in any way, but the feelings he had for you couldn't be denied. You're just too adorable!!

♠️ Through his connections, he found out you were a big name in weapons design. Unique and beautifully deadly instruments of death were created by your hands. Is it weird he finds that hot?

♠️ He'd start off making anonymous orders for weapons to you, it was normal to get one that was unnamed, so you thought nothing of it.

♠️ When he got his order, an intricately designed dagger, he couldn't bring himself to use it on anyone. This is a gift from his kind and talented darling! He couldn't just stab it into someone's chest like any other knife!

♠️ Yes, he has a little shrine of you.

♠️ When he heard you were hiring for a bodyguard, he was ecstatic! Finally, he can be with you for real! He had to stop himself from giggling like a little girl in front of his colleagues.

♠️ He applied for the job and immediately was given instructions to your address, he read it over and over again until it was engraved into his mind.

♠️ "Tomorrow, 5pm. 93 Lebberside Ave. Door with the hummingbird symbol on it in the alley. Do not be late."

♠️ When he arrived at the location, his heart was pounding under his cold expression. He knocked on the door and heard a muffled crash from inside with a small "Shit!" before the sound of multiple clicks of locks followed.

♠️ You pulled the door open and looked up at the man with dark eyes.

♠️ "Are you the applicant?"

♠️ "Y-yes.." God he stuttered, he hoped you couldn't see his flushed face.

♠️ "Good, come in." You pulled him in and swiftly locked the door again.

♠️ He looks around and it looked like a normal home, albeit a little cluttered. Boxes of files and paper were almost everywhere with takeout boxes and noodle cups on every surface of the house. Looks like you've been piled with work for a long time, poor thing, you really need him to take care of you don't you?

♠️ He sits down on the couch across from the little bean bag you were sitting on while reading a file you grabbed from the coffee table, god you're adorable..

♠️ "So you're..?"

♠️ "Baron..Baron Valencia.."

♠️ "Baron..."

♠️ Oh god say his name again please plea-

♠️ "Hm..your file's pretty good..and you don't have any recent dealings with my competitors? Interesting, looks like you have a good eye for quality weaponry huh?" You smile at his file before looking at him with fox eyes. The things he'd let you do to him...

♠️ "I just took a liking to your model's, they're more convenient and useful than others.." He says with a straight face.

♠️ You chuckle and ask him a few more questions before eventually moving on to small talk, he relished in the time you two spent together laughing at past experiences and jokes, it was like he's known you forever, it took every muscle in his body just to stop himself from smiling too much.

♠️ Eventually, you got up and patted his lap, putting down the file. "Well, Mr. Valencia, you're hired!" You say with a smile, the same smile that melted his heart the first time he saw you.

♠️ "Really?! I-I mean- thank you..Boss.."

♠️ He regains his calm composure after letting his voice go a little too high for his liking, any embarrassment he would've had in that situation was replaced with a warm, tingly feeling as you placed a hand on his shoulder, giggling.

♠️ After that, he'd watch you like a hawk, always being by your side ready to protect you, even if you’re just at home. You never know when someone will try to hurt you!

♠️ He'd be looming over you, giving any poor soul trying to talk to you a death stare until you introduced them as friends of yours, he's a giant guard dog basically.

♠️ His stoic expression would persist even when you make small talk with him all the time so casually. It was like he wasn't even your bodyguard sometimes, just a friend you were hanging out with.

♠️ He wasn't all intimidating and cold, he was also very concerned for your health...all the time, and can you blame him? You've been living off of takeout and instant noodles for months!

♠️ "Boss, I think you should eat a proper dinner and not fastfood again, I'll cook for you."

♠️ "Your work can wait, Boss. I'm sure your client can wait another day, please, you look tired."

♠️ It's all part of being your bodyguard! He has to keep you safe and healthy! He'd be happy to move in so he can protect you 24/7 if you'd let him.

♠️ He'd offer to help you clean your living space a little too, since you're so busy and all with work, he might as well make life easier for you. You said yes to get him to stop pestering you about it and when you came back to the living room, all the clutter and empty food containers were gone..as well as a few of your clothes..I guess he put them away as well, how nice of him.

♠️ If you confront him about this, he'd deny it all flushed in between stutters.

♠️ "Well Baron, it sounds to me like you want to be my househusband more than a bodyguard with all your offers for looking after me and such."

♠️ "Wh- Me? N-no! I'd never! I-I mean unless you'd want that..Not that I'm saying I want to! But well uhm- I-if you uh..uhm..I'll leave you alone to work..."

♠️ On days off a.k.a. days you forced him to take a break from taking care of you to get a bit of breathing space for yourself, he'd stalk your social medias or flat out stalk you. A true bodyguard never stops protecting their boss! He just wants to watch over you!

♠️ On the rare occasions that you're too deep in work and not getting a blink of sleep, he'd use his strong arms to pull you into bed and force you to rest. It wasn't long before he heard you softly snoring in his arms, you were exhausted from long days of working and delivering orders and evading taxes and such, no wonder you went out like a light.

♠️ He looked down at you as he sighed lovingly, placing a kiss on your head, whispering a soft "Goodnight, cariño.." Before drifting off to sleep himself.

♠️ "..Goodnight Baron.."

♠️ "B-Boss! Y-you heard that?!"

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Madhubala (Mughal-e-Azam, Barsaat Ki Raat, Mr. & Mrs. '55)—The Venus of India; heart-throb of all who saw her; responsible for the sexual awakening of every single desi lesbian I know (including me!) And my god, she is breathtakingly beautiful. Look at the subtle grace with which she moves, and that smile - the kind of radiant smile that can make you laugh with sheer delight, or cry because of its hidden pain. Those wild curls! That Cupid's bow! The way she tilts back her head and smiles at you with mischief dancing in her eyes! She has a way of looking at the camera that makes you feel she's sharing a private joke just with you; it's something about that quizzical twist of the lips and eyebrows. As an actress, she is inimitable; she seems to effortlessly inhabit roles ranging from a heart-broken courtesan to a laughter-loving socialite. Fun fact : she's had quite the fan following in Greece! Stelios Kazantidis even wrote a song as a tribute to her.

Linda Darnell (Hangover Square, Unfaithfully Yours, A Letter to Three Wives)— Her dick is ENORMOUS. She was Fox’s resident bad girl for a while, and she was goddamn sexy during it. She could also play sweeter, and she was still beautiful when she wasn’t crushing men beneath her heels, but also she sometimes crushed men beneath her heels and it was really hot

This is round 4 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Madhubala:

An icon of Bollywood, who was well known for her beauty and has continued to inspire performances and songs into the 21st century. She was at times described as "the number one beauty of the Indian screen" and "the biggest star in the world".

SHE IS EVERYTHING AHHH. JUST LOOK AT HER SMILE-

She's been nicknamed the Marilyn Monroe of India and was one of the highest paid actresses in the Hindi film industry (the term Bollywood did not exist yet) during the 1950s. Also an extremely talented dancer and singer

SHE'S JUST SO STUNNING, like seeing her eyes IMMEDIATELY CAPTIVATES YOU, THE DANCING, THE BEAUTY!!!!!!!!! She worked in Bollywood for over 20 years and passed away at a sad early age of 36, BUT THE IMPACT SHE HAD WAS UNMATCHED!!!!!

That sassy sideways glance she does always has me WEAK AT THE KNEES. And when she's making silly faces at the camera to mimic someone ahhhh my gay little heart <3

Linda Darnell:

LOOK AT THOSE EYES. She redefines sultry and dreamy.

ok i have a lot of feelings about linda darnell. she was so complex and messy and talented and just such a tragic figure and deserved so much better. her mom basically ignored the rest of her kids in favor of pushing linda into hollywood, which led to her missing out on a lot of childhood experiences, prevented her from enrolling in college, and caused some mental health issues later in life. it’s especially heartbreaking that she met such a preventable end so early in life, and i always wonder what might’ve happened if she had been able to make more movies. she also disliked the hollywood social scene, which i think is totally valid of her. anyway, i loved her in a letter to three women and unfaithfully yours, and especially in no way out, which i think is one of her better roles, really showcasing her acting ability. and the fact that she never really got recognition keeps me up at night,, in my heart she has all the oscars

[dangerphd]

I have been on a bit of a kick for the last few months, setting a budget and then buying everything that caught my eye in the timeline until I hit the total every month. The goods I have received in return are blowing my mind, you guys!

The timeline is so creative and talented and amazing, I am in awe of all y'all's handskills. This post is an ENDORSEMENT of these artists, for real.

if no pics, it means I haven't quite received the order yet (but I am super looking forward to it), or I am still waiting on a frame.

in no order:

from @lunarlightforge, a great knife in a sheath whose theme goes with the Smol Gods. Due to the smallish handle size on this one, it has become MY daily carry, rather than the birthday gift I had in mind when shopping 😂

from @hyydraworks, an adorable trio of the tiniest cows for the Smol Gods to steward. they are so very tiny and so very detailed 🐮❤️

from @yuumei-art , a super deal on a quintuple of gorgeous prints, a couple to keep and a couple intended as gifts

from @claypigeonpottery , a fabulously glazed plate and superchill capybara little dude

from @teaweltzer, a fantastically stitched pair of four-sided pyramid bags in super cute patterns and a couple of myco stickers

from ruralpearl, #Angie Pickman, a super-sentimental-to-me fox print I just love

from @fruitblush , a brightly colored reminder that Palestine persists

from StellaNCWorks, a pair of nature-inspired small dishes for various desktop goods

from @creations-by-chaosfay , a super bright set of miniature quilts (coasters)

from @littlebirdinagarden , the warmest soothingest saturated hand-dyed colorway to ever match its name, Moth Orchid

from @robinsceramics, a couple of little guys to add to what I guess is gonna be an ongoing pottery collection? I love them so much already; chinchilla is so fren shaped!

[thebadboyfanclub]

Master list

I want to preface this by saying I’m sorry for forcing y’all to having to scroll to find my imagines this took like two days to make, also I hope you were not expecting some fancy and beautiful list I am not that talented but this will do the trick.

Also everybody needs to thank @pearlstiare cause she quite literally took me by the hand and walked me through the entire process out of the goodness of their heart, so thank you for being such a wonderful person. Without further or due, enjoy!

Part two of the masterlist

Full list of the characters I write for

Aemond Targaryen

You Are No Dragon

All For The Motherland

My Little Sea Snake

The Apple Of His Eye

Do You Love Me?

‘Till The Seven Rings Of Hell

Take Care Of Me, My Love

I Would Be Honored

Grow Forever, Never Yield

I Will Do It

Lead The Way

Lady Wife Falling Asleep Headcanon

Aegon Targaryen

The Man You Deserve

I Spill My Blood For You

What’s Your Name?

I Want To Try

After You Little Pet

Queen Of My Life

Lady Wife Falling Asleep Headcanon

Jacaerys Velaryon

Do You Want this?

Part One

Part Two

Lady Wife Falling Asleep Headcanon

Cregan Stark

My hearts soldier

My Beloved Wife

Daemon Targaryen

My Moonlight

You Bled For Them, You Decide

Part One

Part Two

An Eye For An Eye

Your Sweet Princess

Are You Mad?

The Death Of Me

She Has Your Eyes

Left Or Right?

It Is Time

What Are You Waiting For Then?

My Turn

We’ll Finish This Later

The Sunflower Of Highgarden

A Risk Taker

Gods Have Mercy

My Dragon

Lady Wife Falling Asleep Headcanon

Tywin Lannister

I Got You, Little Wolf

The Bloody Princess

Massimo Torricelli

Fire And Flame

Part one

Part two

Part three

Part four

Part five

Sherlock Holmes

It’s Alright Darling

You Are Family Now

Napoleon Solo

I Got You

Henry Cavill

The Lady Of The House

Part one

Part two

Let Me Have This

Geralt Of Rivia

Protect The Queen

Part one

Part two

There’s Nothing Wrong With Submission

The Dream

Part one

Part two

You Are My Home

Rio

You Can Do Better

A Boy, A Girl And A Game

You Are My Light

She Will Learn

Pete Davidson

The Sun And Moon

Dating Pete Davidson (Spiritual Edition)

Cedric Diggory

You Sneaky Little Fox

Draco Malfoy

We’ll Get Caught

Carlisle Cullen

What’s For Dinner?

Do I Have To?

One Way To Find Out

Just Like You

Of Course Precious

What’s Your Biggest Fear?

Off To Bed For You

Aro Volturi

Lamb For Slaughter

Emmett Cullen

Sir, This Is McDonald’s

That’s My Girl

Edward Cullen

Let Me Do Better

Jasper Hale

Pleasure Is All Mine

Niklaus Mikaelson

You Started This?

Part One

Part Two

My Little Cub

Our Love Is Eternal

Mess Is Mine

Sounds Like Heaven

Maybe It’s Better This Way

Elijah Mikaelson

I Quite Enjoyed It

We’ll See About That

Kai Parker

You’ll Be Fine

See You Around Honey

Excuse Me?

Ivar The Boneless

She Is A Lady

Harwin Strong

I Promise

Look At Me, Princess

I Would Like That

Khal Drogo

Stay With Me

[apoemaday]

Helen of Troy Does Countertop Dancing

by Margaret Atwood

The world is full of women who’d tell me I should be ashamed of myself if they had the chance. Quit dancing. Get some self-respect and a day job. Right. And minimum wage, and varicose veins, just standing in one place for eight hours behind a glass counter bundled up to the neck, instead of naked as a meat sandwich. Selling gloves, or something. Instead of what I do sell. You have to have talent to peddle a thing so nebulous and without material form. Exploited, they’d say. Yes, any way you cut it, but I’ve a choice of how, and I’ll take the money. I do give value. Like preachers, I sell vision, like perfume ads, desire or its facsimile. Like jokes or war, it’s all in the timing. I sell men back their worse suspicions: that everything’s for sale, and piecemeal. They gaze at me and see a chain-saw murder just before it happens, when thigh, ass, inkblot, crevice, tit, and nipple are still connected. Such hatred leaps in them, my beery worshipers! That, or a bleary hopeless love. Seeing the rows of heads and upturned eyes, imploring but ready to snap at my ankles, I understand floods and earthquakes, and the urge to step on ants. I keep the beat, and dance for them because they can’t. The music smells like foxes, crisp as heated metal searing the nostrils or humid as August, hazy and languorous as a looted city the day after, when all the rape’s been done already, and the killing, and the survivors wander around looking for garbage to eat, and there’s only a bleak exhaustion. Speaking of which, it’s the smiling tires me out the most. This, and the pretence that I can’t hear them. And I can’t, because I’m after all a foreigner to them. The speech here is all warty gutturals, obvious as a slab of ham, but I come from the province of the gods where meanings are lilting and oblique. I don’t let on to everyone, but lean close, and I’ll whisper: My mother was raped by a holy swan. You believe that? You can take me out to dinner. That’s what we tell all the husbands. There sure are a lot of dangerous birds around. Not that anyone here but you would understand. The rest of them would like to watch me and feel nothing. Reduce me to components as in a clock factory or abattoir. Crush out the mystery. Wall me up alive in my own body. They’d like to see through me, but nothing is more opaque than absolute transparency. Look–my feet don’t hit the marble! Like breath or a balloon, I’m rising, I hover six inches in the air in my blazing swan-egg of light. You think I’m not a goddess? Try me. This is a torch song. Touch me and you’ll burn. 

[jtl-fics]

Math Nerd AU

I’ve got quite a few time travel AFTG fics banging around in my head but by far the funniest one is this:

Neil dies in 40s to a drunk driver after a respectable professional Exy career, two olympic golds, a very successful and healthy relationship, a steady post-injury career as Ichirou Moriyama’s preferred accountant (kept himself squeaky clean) and years to get his shit together. He wakes up back early on into his runaway life with his mom and is immediately like “oh no I’m NOT doing this shit again.”

He makes a lot of changes, mostly for Andrew’s benefit but also gets Mary to the Hatfords, and gets himself set up in Ichirou’s confidence again because man he’s gonna play Exy again but Ichirou was actually a very solid boss if you’re competent and Neil is very good at managing finances.

Ichirou had plans for Neil. He’s waiting for his father to pass before he brings Neil fully out in the open as one of his since his father is still demanding that the Wesninski heir be given over to his brother and Ichirou is not about to let the only accountant who has ever gotten him a completely legal tax refund go to the NEST. He’s also not about to let the Butcher near Neil so he puts Neil off in the middle of nowhere with a steady paycheck and orders to graduate highschool. Neil picks Millport.

Hernandez still notices that no one ever comes to Neil’s games and that the kid is driven but doesn’t make any real attachments with his teammates despite Millport becoming the Arizona State Champs the year Neil leads the team. So he sends tapes to Wymack and Kevin. Neil is surprised to see them since he’d planned on never getting anywhere near Andrew after he set things up for the blond. (Killed Drake, paid some people to legally adopt and look after Andrew, got CPS to investigate Tilda properly, paid off the right people so that the couple who took in Andrew took in Aaron too, and paid for them to move out to SC (it’s close to the twins remaining family) and then Tilda managed to die on her own from an OD and the twins got the money without Andrew needing to have any part in it.)

Neil ends up signing for the Foxes despite Ichirou having plans for Neil to start attending University of Texas (Great Accounting Program) in the fall. Neil of course completely fails to tell Ichirou this since Ichirou hadn’t said anything beyond finishing highschool and if he had plans for Neil then he should have told him.

Neil, the utterly self-sufficient adult that he is, proceeds to just be the most bizarre stabilizing force the foxes have ever encountered. He knows all about their shit, their issues, their triggers, and how to help them. The Foxes all kind of crave that stability and Neil can take whatever they say unflinchingly. He’ll give as good as he gets but he also makes team breakfast pretty much every morning after he finishes his absurdly early run. Kevin is in heaven with his Striker pick (Neil in this thing is so incredibly boring and well-adjusted that Andrew just cannot believe that he’s a spy so Kevin and Neil start night practices almost immediately & Neil shows Kevin drills that he and Future!Kevin had made and Kevin is just like “I am so good at picking talent. I am a god.”)

The 3 things that make this so funny (at least to me) is:

1. All the Foxes just like not understanding why the hell Neil is a Fox (They’re glad he’s there but it feels like a clerical error that such a nice well-adjusted guy is on the team) until they see him without a shirt and until immediately after the Kathy Ferdinand show where Ichirou shows up and is like “Palmetto doesn’t even have a nationally ranked accounting program!? Also what if this sport gives you a TBI and you can’t do my taxes anymore????”

2. Andrew is just inexplicably and infuriatingly smitten, enamored, crushing, heart-eyes for this BORING ASS MATH NERD. Neil’s sense of humor was honed against Andrew so he’s got like a direct line to Andrew’s funny bone. He never has never once for even a second confused Aaron and Andrew (and they’re a lot closer in this fic because there’s no Tilda angst and the ‘parents’ handled getting Aaron’s rehabilitation handled off the books so he could have a future in medicine.) Even after the whole mob accountant reveal Andrew is seething because even with that Neil is just incredibly well-adjusted and normal despite all the insane shit going on with him. He propositions Neil when Neil mentions having a past male significant other but Neil has the AUDACITY to get all sad-eyed and say that he can’t be with Andrew because his heart still belongs to some CHUMP in his past. (Cue Current!Andrew having an unknowing bitter hatred / rivalry of Future!Andrew and swearing that he’ll woo Neil away from a guy who’s probably in the mob or shitty because Andrew hasn’t seen any evidence of Neil’s SO reaching out to him but he knows Neil isn’t lying)

3. One of the reasons that Andrew is inexplicably and infuriatingly attracted / smitten to Neil is that Future!Andrew did not really spend a lot of time in the future after Neil died and he’s slowly seeping through until Neil’s confrontation with his dad and then Future!Andrew fully wakes up and he’s PISSED because at least in the original timeline Andrew was inexplicably and infuriatingly attracted to the mysterious freshmen who was hiding his appearance, looked like he was seconds away from running across the country at all times, and had a whole aura of danger around him. Now he’s revealed that he’d have fallen for Neil no matter what because he fell for Neil when he was just a BORING ASS MATH NERD and WORST OF ALL Neil went and made him jealous of HIMSELF because Neil didn’t want to cheat on Andrew with ANDREW. What an asshole. He’s gotta kiss his entire face off and tell him that he’s never allowed to cross a street without Andrew again because if a drunk driver is going to take one of them out then it’s going to take BOTH of them out.

[lonelycowgirls]

Lonely Cowgirls Fic's of the Week

Had to skip two weeks because of Mother's Day and my dissertation ❤️

So here's three (!) weeks worth of the written word published by the talented minds of the wonderful users of Tumblr. Enjoy!

List posted: 2 April 2023

----

This little bit of angsty deliciousness from @avatar-anna was so good - especially if you like your y/n's smart af.

This by @fkinavocado. No words, just read it. Go on. NOW.

Rough Day by @goldengalore got a little too intense for me, but if you love degradation in your smut then this SLAPS. (No pun intended 🫠)

Gotcha by the dream writer that is @twostepstyless this is GORGEOUS. I can't say it enough, G is a beautiful writer and deserves more credit! Go read all her stuff, please and thank you.

Stupid by @shawnxstyles is smutty deliciousness with a very unique concept. A must-read if you want well-written and cheeky dirty-ness.

This is hooooot by @harryistheonlyoneforme!

Traditions by @watchmegetobsessed... oh, my god. You guys, this is a domesticated dream. I just can't. Cuteness overload.

This is so cute and well-written by @gucciwins - but I mean, of course it is, I wouldn't expect less from this amazing writer.

I'm about to put you on to the best of the best here... Lucky Fox by @temptress-writes - this is some of the best smut I've EVER read. Please write a book, babe because I'll be first in line to buy it.

Sugar Sugar part eight by @jarofstyles. This shit slaps. I was sweating and I know this is quickly turning into a totally R-rated list I don't care, let it be what it is because the smut on this site recently is... 😮‍💨

This concept is so cute by @freedomfireflies and something I think will really catch on! And the winner is... by them is also so bloody good.

💗💗💗

Happy reading!

Nel xo

[dairy-farmer]

If you like, (as I saw you indeed do, from an ask) De-ageing promts/asks? Consider THIS~!

Everyone always hitting our poor baby boy Tim with that De-Ageing! As though his puss ain't tight and assets perky! Rude! You know who SHOULD be hit?

>:Dc Bruce~

Because him and Ra's are once again going at it. Bruce is not blind and DOES NOT appreciate this man panting after his Son. Is he a hypocrite? Maybe. But he's still gonna punch Ra's about kicking his boy out a window and the various bits of leering.

They do the Traditional by now, Dramatic Heroic/Immortal Sword Fight near the pits.

Ra's makes A Comment(tm). Of what he'll do when Bruce is dead. Since Bruce has failed to join him, Talia failed to give him a Worthy Heir, and Tim proven... Interesting(tm).

Can't do SHIT without limbs, Ra's. Bruce sees red and tries to feed the fucker his own entrails. Very calm. Toooootally thinking clearly.

It was, rather predictably, a trap. But Bruce is a talented man. So now they're BOTH stabbed pretty badly. Very homo-erotic, which is also traditional. Because with Ra's of course it is. Regardless, Ra's has NOT survived this long just to die to Daddy "don't fuck my son".

Into the pits we both go!

Which? Honestly, he's been trying for YEARS to get Bruce to use. So he can see reason. Ra's can admit the irony.

They struggle. Are drowning. Healing. Still impaled. Break free of each other, even as they try to grapple each other into submission. Again, the homo-eroticism is thick enough to choke lesser men. All the while? The pits are healing.

The wounds, yes. But also everything ELSE. They ARE submerged after all. Ra's? Expects this. Bruce? No idea what's coming.

He drags Ra's blade free of his body and breaks surface. Pit furious and seeing green. Damn near baby faced, at JUST under 20.

Turns out taking care of your body means there's less to "Fix". Self destructive Missions come back to bite him once again. But? Shit. Ninjas. Pouring in to help a fresh faced Ra's. Late 20s and in his prime once more. Damn it!

This isn't over, he growls.

Does NOT like the amused way Ra's is smirking.

One fight out and a stolen jet later? Bruce gets to stare in horror at his Twink-ification. Half his sons are physically OLDER then him. There is no way in hell he can hide this with make up. Luckily, it's Gotham.

He stages a kidnapping of himself. "Unknown chemical agent" combined with the INFAMOUS Gotham bay water. Clark, pretending to be him (once he's done laughing) goes in, Twink Bruce comes out.

People believe it.

Brucie Wayne is too dumb to make this up, after all. And stranger things have happened. Once cleared by the hospital? He heads home.

Now what.

He LIKED his Dilf status. His "silver fox in the making". He didn't have to "date". Booze it up or party. He was FREE damn it. He sulks. Jason and Dick are laughing at him.

Tim let's him hide in his office. Starts crafting "new lease on life" PR campaigns. They are, unfortunately, going to have to attend a Fad Pilates-Yoga-Samba Fusion Dance class. He's so sorry.

It's awful.

What's WORSE?

Is he forgot how HORNY he was at this age. It Does. NOT. Stop. Just an endless stream of wanting to thrust and fuck and lick and suck and-. It literally keeps him up at night! Even after patrol! And Selina? She won't touch him with a ten foot pole.

He's "an infant".

Call her when he's fixed.

He ALMOST considers some of the girls in his god awful class. But then they open their mouths and say some of the most soulless, casually cruel, things he's ever heard. And THAT reminds him he has standards.

He manages to find NICE ones, but then THEN start talking? And good lord, they are BABIES. Where are their fathers and why have they failed these wonderful young ladies? Have a college fund. Bruce is your father now.

And STILL horny.

Possibly in hell.

He tells this, even though he probably shouldn't, to Tim. Rants really. Because Tim let him hide again. Brought him coffee and dinner. And? Frankly? TIM is reasonable! Bruce wouldn't BE in this situation if he could find even a SINGLE woman like him!

And Tim watches Bruce pace. Muscles rolling as he walks. Still in work out gear. Young, nearly his age, so hot Tim wants to choke himself on his... Well. Tim COULD point out the obvious. Fleshlights. Modern toys that Bruce could no doubt improve.

OR~ Tim could shoot his shot and go for glory.

......fuck it.

Witness Him.

Tim deliberately splays his legs. Sprawls, open and inviting. And muses, not looking at Bruce of course, if Bruce needs a Woman or just the right hole?

Bruce freezes. Because of course not. He's Bi AF, just REALLY want to fuck a... wait. Wait(tm). Bruce's brain starts punching out Options. Why Would Tim Ask That? He looks at Tim. His body language. Considers if he wants to ignore it or take this clear offer.

He's across the room and plucking the tablet from Tim's hands in a handful of strides. Naked. Now.

Young Bruce is the HORNIEST, NEEDIEST fuck you can imagine. Once you let him in? It's all over. You're gonna wake up to that morning wood pounding your puss. Spend breakfast, being his desert. As he eats you out. Humping your leg like a dog in heat. Gotta go to work? Well not before his good by fuckies! Needs to shoot his load nice and deep, so you know he loves you.

Visit you at the office. Finger fuck you at your desk. Worship your clit like he's trying to win a medal. When you finally can't concentrate any more? Pull you from your office chair and fuck you til you're a sloppy mess on the floor. Don't worry! He brought a plug so you won't mess the change of clothes he brought you! See you at lunch~!

And on and on and on. Because Bruce is physically in the horniest phase of his life, has his FULL Batman stamina, and? Realized almost IMMEDIATELY? Tim cuddles when he's well fucked and exhausted. And Bruce misses him.

So Bruce is gonna take advantage of the situation.

Can't drift away from me and go off to join some random hero team, if I'm the Best Dick Of Your Life. If your body craves me. You get so used to my constant fuckings, your day is incomplete without them~

Use my WORDS? Pshhhhh. No. I'm just going to use a seventy step plan to permanently tie Tim to me for life with my dick! Because I love him! This is a reasonable and well adjusted way for me to act, I'm gonna get such a good grade in Dad. Now if you'll excuse Bruce, he's gonna go fuck his son.

-🐼🐼🐼

!!! oh my god bruce getting deaged would be his worst nightmare ever- having to join 'new age' spritual things like something-yoga or eating some trendy new food because it aligns with his 'brucie' character- add that in to him not being able to fuck within any age group. his new '20 year old peers' are so incredibly immature and he can't fathom breaking his morality enough to fuck them and the older ones wont let him near them because THEY feel like creeps. so tim being the only logical choice left and bruce also being able to kill two birds with one stone by being able to 1. get off and 2. make sure tim stays close to him😭😭😭

[sun-roach]

I already mentioned these to @commander-sunshine but here are some of my head canons about A-17's favorite batch, because I am still thinking about them

I will start with the oldest of the batch:

Wolffe: Wolffe has that protective shabuir aura older siblings have. He is logical, has a hardshell and is sassy af. He wants to do the right thing at all times and perhaps is afraid of failures (especially after he lost his pack). As a cadet he was that one kid, who acted older and tougher than they were. He would try to be the brother to look up to. Tho wolffe is born sassy. It’s very easy to get under his skin and his vod'ike all respect and love to tease him with the simplest things. He can be an asshole if he wants to, which is almost every time when his vod'ike decide to be shitheads. His sense of humor is probably a little weird but at the same time very hilarious

Next is Fox: Fox is Wolffe’s twin. He is only a few milliseconds younger than him, which is why Fox hates it so much when Wolffe plays the 'I-am-the-older-twin'-card. Much like Wolffe, Fox is very protective of his brothers and shows it in weird ways since both aren’t good expressing their feelings. They both would rather bottle their feelings up than to burden anyone. Tho while Wolffe is more straightforward and rational, Fox is more sneaky and intuitive. That’s why the two argue almost 24/7. They are just too similar and yet so different. Also never anger Fox. As a cadet he bit a lot of brothers and kicked their shebs during sparring. In my head canon he was one of the best, if not the best, which is why he became the commander of the coruscant guard, directly serving the chancellor. His humor tho was probably dark since his early ages thanks to his perception and intuition

Ponds is the true middle child: He is always overlooked, despite him trying his best at all times. He is one of the kindest souls and always honest and true to himself. Thanks to him being overlooked tho, he can get away with a loooot of shit. He probably played so many pranks but no one ever suspected him. He is that sibling to take responsibility and lead when no one else will. Most of the vod'ike would probably go to him to confess anything, since wolffe and fox tend to be more… unhinged with their problem solving. Ponds humor probably contains a lot of word plays and puns. He doesn’t try to be funny tho

Now Bly: Bly is similar to Ponds but leans towards the younger brother category. He too is sometimes overlooked/ overshadowed by his siblings but not as bad as Ponds. If Bly plays pranks everyone will know that it was him. I think as a cadet Bly was very sensible and naive. He would make a lot of bets and end up losing so much, that Fox and his intuition would need to come to the rescue and het him back to the winning end. Bly is very caring and empathetic. His humor is kinda dorky and he sometimes ends up saying the wrong things despite his good intentions

And the youngest of the batch is Cody: Yes Cody is very responsible, tough and proud… but underneath all that… Cody is… he just has that little-shit energy. He plays and acts big, he is very talented and skilled in anything he does, but oh god that man was such a feral trouble maker as a cadet. Cody is so kriffing competitive he would challenge anyone walking past him. Most of the time he would challenge Fox. I think Cody and Fox had a special bond. They are both very competitive and see things in a similar ways. They just have mutual understandings of any situation. (This is also the reason why I think that Cody would have often visited Fox after order 66. They were both working for the empire and Cody slowly came to realize what Fox must have gone trough. I think Fox's death was an additional reason to go awol and find obi-wan)

Anyway Cody was an extreme brat, yet very caring and gentle when he saw someone in need of compassion. He always wanted to be an older brother and teach and help others.

With Rex he got that: Rex is the babiest baby of the batch. He is literally the batches favorite and no one tries to even hide it. Rex got all the cuddle and all the love his batch had to offer. Anyone who treated Rex like a defect because of his blonde hair… well lets say they all ended up in a medbay. Tho Rex was a little shit too. Not like Cody, but still a little shit. Rex would sometimes do the craziest things, but did he ever got punished for them? No. Did Cody get blamed for his chaos? Yes absolutely.

Rex and Cody were always close. They would prank their ori'vode nearly everyday and never did anyone blame kyute little Rex. Rex is also the only one who can stop any of their batchmates temper tantrums. Yet he likes to watch the chaos that are his brothers.

Bonus:

Rex watching Cody getting scolded for his chaos:

Cody looking at Rex after the scolding:

[postmodernbeliever]

okay so first of all love your work so far, thanks for sharing!! second i was thinking about how easily fox would get a hard on in public, like you give him a single word of praise or you say his name in a certain way and suddenly his work pants are feeling incredibly tight and his hands are running all over his face and he has to stay behind his desk or maybe stick a pillow down against his groin just for a little bit of relief and you barely even did anything

anyways i want to scream i need him so bad

payback- fox mulder x female reader (smut!!!!)

it takes very little to get fox going. one touch, one word, and he’s putty in your hands. so one day, when he's a little too much for you, you decide to hit the man with a little payback- and god, it's worth it!

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩

to whoever sent this ask in, babeeeee I DROOLED!!! i hope i completed the fantasy for you, even if just a little ;) put my own twist on it. hope you enjoy. <3

my ao3 | word count: 4,010

content tags: smut, teasing, public hand jobs, light angst, fox is needy as hell, you’re kinda hot… damn, cross posted on ao3

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°

it was embarrassing, honestly. he just couldn’t keep it together. fox isn’t typically so easy– well, in a way he is, because he knows just as well as you do that pretty much anything will set him off. but he’s always been good about hiding it in public… at least, he was before he met you. 

for a guy as horny as he is, you’d think he would thrive under pressure. you’d seen plenty of guys respond to the feeling, seeking a reward, and it would make sense for fox to fit this approach; he was cocky, often to his own detriment, and he pushed until he got what he wanted, whether that be top-secret files or a diet coke from the vending machine. he was a go-getter in every sense of the word. but the second his brain couldn’t keep up with his crotch, he became a lost cause. you liked that about him. it was so easy to get him flustered, and when he was, it was adorable; he tripped up every other word, he got fidgety, he struggled to comprehend even the simplest of conversation, and all that dysfunction was the result of a touch or a sound. 

you learned of this little talent of his the first time you visited him at work. the two of you hadn’t been dating long, but anybody in the same room as you could recognize the disgusting eyes the two of you gave each other. as much as he made your heart flutter, he also made your hips ache, and you were just dying for him– and he felt the same. he couldn’t get enough of you. one afternoon the agent gave you a ring on your cell phone and asked if you wanted to take your lunch break with him, and you laughed and informed the man you’d called in sick for no other reason than you couldn't bear to go into work that day. so he insisted you come and hang out with him in his office, at least for a little while, and you had no problem saying yes. when you got there, you finally got to snap the missing piece of his puzzle into place; the walls screamed of his nature, of his passion, the insanity that turned everyone but you off of him. all the files and disorganization piled high around him like a palace throne, and he sat in his squeaking desk chair, king of it all. you could’ve drowned in that room almost as badly as you wished to drown in him. you’d brought food from a shop down the street, and he ate it gratefully, and you talked his ear off for hours about cases and what it’s like to shoot a gun and have you ever seen any vampires?, and after a while of letting you see him in a space intimate as that, he was getting himself all worked up. you sat so pretty on his desk as he had his back to you, rifling through case files and showing you confidential things he could get fired for. you also looked so pretty when you gazed into his microscope in the back of the office, playing around with all his toys. but when you walked over to where he sat behind his desk and touched all his photographs with curious eyes, and said, “looks like you’re good at your job, fox,” you learned for the first time how easy he was to please. you ogled how he crossed one leg over the other and let out a frustrated groan, and how every move you made wasn’t so much admired as coveted; you saw pleading eyes, a dry mouth, restless hands running up and down his legs and over his blushing skin. you saw how once he couldn’t take it anymore, he cornered you by his favorite poster and kissed you right beneath the saucer, and you’d never forget it.

you didn’t wield this power too often, because you didn’t want to frustrate him. it was so easy to get him riled up and leave him hanging, but you didn’t always have the willpower not to help him out after the fact. and who could blame you, when you have a six-foot-tall government agent for a boyfriend, noisy and whiny and brutally hot all at once? torturing him was fun, yet it had to be done sparingly. but it was a good kick in the back of the knee when he was getting too aggravating, and you could use that leverage right about now.

all day, fox had been getting on your nerves. it takes a lot for him to annoy you because most of the time if he's getting arrogant, you find it attractive. but today was a different situation. the agent came home early, pissed off beyond reconciliation, yet another official reprimand to stain his personal file with the bureau. he burst through the door with a mouthful to spew, and you’d hung around him all day as he paced the floor and brooded over his desktop full of files. you did just about everything you could to cheer the guy up; you made him fresh coffee, you threw his favorite sweater in the dryer so he could pull on something warm, you’d even called in a chinese food order so he could get something in his stomach. but none of it was working. when you tried to play with his hair, he brushed you off, and every time you kissed his shoulder, he’d meet you with near indifference. if you didn’t know how much he loved you, you might’ve slapped him, but this mood wasn’t one he could just get over. he was snappy and tired and upset, and there was only so much you could take, so when hours had passed and he was still being a grump, you decided to get some fresh air– but not without an ulterior motive, of course. 

with freshly set curls and the darkest lipstick you had on hand, you primped yourself to go out for a drink with a few girls from work. they invite you every friday night and you always decline, because there is typically a certain man waiting up for you– but that man seemed not to care, so you chose to take them up on the offer this time around. you shuffled through your blended closet, pulling one of fox’s suit jackets off the rack and draping it over your bare shoulders. you wore a little black dress with a sweetheart neck that stopped just above your knees, the very dress you wore on your and fox’s first date. shoving your feet into a pair of kitten heels, you clicked your way out of the bedroom and into the apartment, standing squarely before the television so fox was forced to take a look. 

“what do you think?”

you watched his big eyes trail up your pantyhose-clad legs, admiring the lacy pattern, and a smile quirked on his lips. “pretty. hey, you’re wearing the dress.”

“i’m going out,” you sighed, blowing past his acknowledgement.

“out? where?”

“some girls from work invited me to grab a drink at the bar,”

“but it’s friday night!”

you rolled your eyes, forcing yourself to tuck away the mischievous grin you felt creeping in. “well, i’ve been stuck inside all day with you, debbie downer. i wanna go have a little fun.”

the man shifted in his seat, expression turning sour. “so you’re not gonna hang out with me tonight?”

“baby, i’ve been trying to hang out with you all day. you just keep brushing me off.”

you crossed the living room to the foyer, where your purse sat on his dining room table. he got up and followed you in, and when you turned around he was right behind you. he had a softer look about him, something like regret, and you had to remind yourself to stand tall in the face of your biggest weakness.

“i’m sorry. i’ve been an asshole.”

“yeah, you have.”

“you know i love you,” he frowned, “more than anything in the world.”

even in heels, you still had to push onto your toes to reach him. with a soft kiss to his cheek, you replied, “i know you do, don’t worry.”

“but you’re still going out anyway,” he huffed.

“i am. but…” you pushed on his chest so he’d take a step back, “if you want to come with me–”

all of a sudden he had floppy ears and a tail, his sparkling eyes full of hope that you’d already forgiven him. “i can come?”

“sure, you can come… it’ll be work friends, though, you have to be social.”

“psh, me? antisocial? love, you’re crazy.”

you giggled as he hurried off to the bedroom, rushing to change out of the work clothes he’d sulked in all day. you leaned against the wall in the foyer, peeking through the door as he changed. you admired the curve of his back while he draped it with a white t-shirt and layered a henley over top, tucking the front into his jeans. you saw him reach for the brown leather jacket in the closet and silently thanked god. once he wriggled into that beat-up pair of timberlands you adored, you straightened out against the wall, working to keep your nonchalant composure. 

he did a little spin and asked in a girly voice, “what do you think?”

and in the deepest tone you could muster, you answered, “pretty.”

he scoffed, taking your hand and leading you out the door, promising, “not as pretty as you.”

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩

this is where the fun begins. you got him out of the house and in public, where he can’t escape you, and you were going to have your way.

you saw it in every move he made after you placed your hand on his thigh. you sat with three coworkers at the bar, chatting and laughing while they slammed glasses of wine and you nursed a lukewarm beer. fox wasn’t a drinker, so he had a club soda and cranberry, and after a while, you started sharing his drink and leaving yours to collect sweat. you told them all about fox’s job and they questioned him endlessly about solving unexplained cases, and they all seemed to fawn over him which you expected; girls always drool over him when you’re around. he found it funny, and despite the inkling of jealousy, so did you. he seemed to be enjoying himself as he talked about his most recent case, and you smiled, because you’d been waiting all day to do this. you waited for him to finish his sentence, and you let your hand fall gently on his thigh, laughing along with the others. 

“crazy job, don’t you guys think so?” you teased, and they all nodded, yelling over each other in the chaos of the bar. 

fox shot you a look, and you bit your lip like you had nothing on your mind at all. he leaned in close to your ear and asked, “what are you doing?”

you bumped your nose into his cheek playfully. “nothing!” 

“b-but–”

“but what?” you interrupted, pushing your hand down his leg to reach his knee, which you scratched at softly with your fingernails. he felt the sensation through his jeans and shuddered. 

the agent took a sip of his drink and placed his hand over yours on his knee, stopping your teasing. he glanced at the girls who'd invited you, and all three of them were in some deafening debate, almost like you two never showed up. you crossed one leg over the other on the barstool and turned towards the man, deciding that if they were going to be in their own world, you might as well have fun in yours. 

“they’re pretty hammered,” he diverted.

“good,” you smirked, “maybe they’ll be drunk enough to leave us alone.”

“i thought you wanted to come spend time with them,”

“i did, but you know me. i like you better.”

you admired the blush on his cheeks, and you knew it was burning hot because the only light inside the place radiated from neon signs. his eyes darted all over, and he kept chugging his soda, and you felt pride flooding your chest. 

“listen, i’m sorry about today,” fox apologized, tucking a lock behind your ear. “i hope you’re not mad.”

“not anymore,” you winked, and you leaned over to press a kiss to his jaw. you barely let your lips touch his skin– you wanted him to wish you’d come closer. 

slowly, calculated-like, you took his glass and stole the last sip, making the effort to dribble a little down your chin. you wiped up the spill with your thumb and licked it off, and fox’s lips parted. you wished it wasn’t so loud, because you could imagine the soft pant that fell from those lips. 

“what is it, baby?”

the man gave you a look, and then he shifted in his seat. your eyes drifted to his lap, where a little bump was rising, and they nearly bugged out of your head. even if it was what you set out for, you'd never get used to how little it took to get him going. you draped your hand over his bicep and squeezed, placing down his empty glass with glittering eyes.

“y-you… what- what are you trying to do?” fox stammered.

with an innocent bat of a lash, you answered, “nothing, foxie!” and when the flames began to paint his face, you giggled, “something wrong?”

“well- you- i- i mean,” fox groaned, rubbing his hands back and forth over his rosy face to try and shake the feeling swirling inside him. “you’re acting all…”

“all what?”

you stared intently as he passed his hands through all that thick, tawny hair on his head, wishing they were yours. something about him was unbelievable when he got this way. he licked his lips and swallowed nothing but air.

“fox, what’s gotten into you?” you chuckled as the man began running his palms back and forth across the wooden bartop. 

as he dug at the counter with his nails, he grumbled, “you– you’re doing this on purpose, aren’t you?”

“m’not doing anything,” you lied as you let your hand fall on his thigh again, this time dangerously close to the bulge with your name written on it. 

you watched him hiss, taking your hand and putting it back in your lap. he raised his own in an attempt to flag down the waiter, but there was no chance he’d get noticed; the bar was packed to the gills with drunken bodies, all swarming around you, all moments away from being privy to his situation if you pulled anything else. fox looked like he was lost– in the bar, in his head, in the pressure pushing against his pants– and you were soaking it in like sunshine.

“you look so good tonight, have i told you that?” you gushed, “well, i did as a joke before, but i mean it. you’re so handsome.”

“come on, love,” fox rolled his eyes as if he couldn’t believe you were doing this here, now, in front of the world.

“what? i’m being serious! i like that shirt on you, it makes you look so strong,” you brushed your fingertips along the neckline, letting your nails drag across the base of his throat. you watched a torrential shudder tumble down his back, a curated avalanche in the making. 

“i- i mean-”

“–and you’ve been so sweet since you got over your mood, which makes me so happy. you know i love when you’re good to me,” you sighed, “and you are. you’re so good to me, foxie.”

suddenly, a strong palm wrapped itself around your wrist and tugged you off the barstool. fox didn’t even bother telling the girls where you were going since you hadn’t heard from them in a while anyway; he only pulled you through the thumping building, weeding through clusters of drunks towards the glowing bathroom sign in the back. butterflies were stuffing you full as he pushed open the women’s bathroom door, which was miraculously a dingy little single with a lock. letting go of his grip on you, he locked the door, muffling the blaring noise coming from outside. 

“hey, wait a minute–”

fox’s face dropped. you yelped as he rushed his hands across you, touching everywhere he could, snaking them beneath your stolen jacket and under your dress. you reveled in the feeling, but once his lips tried to press against your neck, you clicked your tongue in disapproval. 

“not here, fox,”

“nobody’s gonna see us,” the man urged, “i– you– come on, please?”

“if you want anything, you have to take me home.”

“you just fuckin’ teased me all night,” he growled, “please, baby.”

you giggled as he backed your hips up to the one and only sink, trapping you beneath his palms. his hard-on twitched against your stomach, and as you looked up into his tall, swimming eyes, you could see something surrendering inside them. you pressed your hands against his stomach, and he pressed himself against you, sighing softly at the ounce of relief. 

“you’re so bad, wanting me to get you off in a bar bathroom,” you teased.

“yeah, i’m the bad one. don’t act stupid.”

“don’t be mean, or you get nothing.” you sucked on your teeth, giving him maliciously sweet eyes. 

“okay, okay, i’m sorry. just… please.”

fox leaned down to rest his head on your shoulder, letting out a whimper so soft it was nearly undetectable. you had to stop your eyes from rolling back at how needy he was; he’s never been this bad, of all the times you’d brutally strung him out in public. maybe it was because he was experiencing your twisted form of payback, or maybe it was all the stress from work in the morning, but you pushed him to a new limit without ever really touching him. your entire body began to burn as you reached your palm down between his hips and rested your hand where he begged for you, and felt a pair of lips attach themselves to your neck, nipping softly at the skin in gratitude. you massaged him like he was fragile, like anything rougher would break him, and in a way, it was true– his knees were weak already, and as he rolled his hips against your palm, his hands trembled at his hold on the hem of your dress. 

“need me that bad, hm?”

all you got back was a strangled, “mm.”

“m’not gonna get on my knees, the floor is too dirty,” you chuckled, knowing he wanted more than what he was getting. 

fox didn’t speak. his brain was too wired to indulge you, but his body ached to be touched, so he found a nonverbal way to ask for it; he lifted you and shoved you onto the sink, and you scrambled to grab at the ceramic countertop. 

“fox–”

his big hands shoved beneath your dress and dug into the chub of your hips, scratching at your legs like a dog. he craned his neck down to kiss you, and as you got distracted by the sugary cranberry crystals at the corners of his lips, he moved in a hurry to unbutton his jeans. you didn’t know exactly what he was doing until your hand made contact with smooth skin, and you looked down to see his cock just barely bouncing in your buzzing palm, swollen and screaming for contact. 

your lips turned downward in a sympathetic smile as you cooed, “oh, baby.”

you shuffled up the counter a little bit so you had a little more room to arch forward. bringing your palm up to let a little spit dribble out of your mouth, nice and slow, just how he likes, you watched his jaw drop and you spread the stuff around your hand with your tongue. when he was sufficiently driven insane, you wrapped your hand all the way around him and laughed. 

“i can feel that second heartbeat you’ve got,” was all you said before you began pumping. 

fox’s hands flew to your face as you stroked him, his thumb gravitating to your tongue; his eyes were glazed over like never before, and you wished you could take a picture. you watched air fill his tummy over and over, heaving in desperation, and he bucked into your hand as if he’d never been touched before in his life. you moved a little faster, feeling the soft disruption of his veins underneath your fingers, swiping your thumb over his tip and making him shake. and fox was all noise, louder and prettier sounding than any club song baring behind the locked door. strings of your name interlaced with curses and promises and praises of how good you were, and how he loved you, and that he wished he was home so you could do more than this, and you sat there swearing that he would get what he wanted the second you two left. by the time you shut him up with your mouth, he was nearly there; and by the time you pulled him by the hips right against your soft stomach, both hands on him, his cock close enough he could feel your dress bunching up on his head, he was there. he was far fucking past there, cumming all over your pretty black dress, leaving milky stains you’d have to cover with his jacket, stains he would be reminded of later when he ripped that thing off you at home. you were in his ear instantly as he collapsed into your shoulder, holding him up, voice soft so you didn’t make his head buzz any more than it was already. 

“oh, good job, baby, good boy,” you smiled, “how’s that, hm? better?”

“bet… better,” he panted, back to the obsessive kissing all over your neck. 

“there’s so much more where that came from, foxie, i promise.”

“then can we get the fuck outta here?” he whined, pulling away to show you his pretty pink face. 

with one last warm kiss, one where you caught his lip between your teeth just for fun, you nodded. “get me a towel first."

fox passed you a paper towel which you used to wipe your dress with, and he chuckled at how you gently folded it up and dropped it in the trash can, like it was a treasure to you. then, as you hopped down from the counter and he zipped his jeans back up, you took him by the hand and dragged him out of the restroom, back over to the bar where your three coworkers were wasted beyond saving. you leaned into the conversation and said, “gotta bounce! i’ll see you guys next week!” and didn’t stick around to hear the drunken replies. instead, you guided the pretty boy behind you out to the parking lot, where he rushed to get behind the wheel and drive you home. you thanked god he didn’t have a drink in his system because he was in a real hurry. 

as you sat in his passenger seat, watching his jittering hand play with the gear shift, you were almost satisfied. your idea of revenge might be a little twisted, but it worked. you’d accomplished what you set out for, now the owner of an apology and a man aching for you. but after that stunt at the bar, you had a newfound greed, one you wouldn’t shake until he got you home; and maybe you were abusing your power, but how could you let up now? as you placed your hand over his, the engine revved beneath your feet, and you giggled. maybe it was torture, but he liked it– so you played with his fingers, and he groaned, and when you finally reached his apartment building, the two of you couldn’t get upstairs fast enough.

[anonymousbeefriendfanfics]

My Thoughts on Touchstarved

So, I've finished the demo! Let me start off by saying that I love the story! The concept is awesome, I adore that you can choose your own background, I love how immersive the setting is, everything is just... amazing. I can't wait for the full game to come out! Especially with all the special treats we're getting from the Kickstarter goals, it's going to be fantastic! And now, my friends, I shall share with you my thoughts & Headcannons for each of our lovely love interests, in order of appearance. If you'd like to see more, my requests are open!! I haven't gotten any for Touchstarved yet but I'm itching to write for them, I just... need some inspiration, so the more the merrier!

Kuras

First of all: pretty. I love his design, it's wonderful. He looks so ethereal! And very doctor-y, which was the point.

Can we talk about the hair, though???? How cool is that?? I love it. It looks very soft and fluffy. And so long... Could you imagine sleeping next to him? You wake up and you're drowning in floof.

He's very kind and gentle, but is obviously holding back. He distances himself from people, and like everybody else on this list, he needs to find someone he can really trust to open up and be himself with.

And he stays so busy, like... when does he ever take the time to relax? I know the city needs him and his clinic, but he deserves some time off, too.

To be honest Kuras gives me kinda like.... asexual vibes? Maybe demisexual? Idk, maybe I'm reading too much into him being reserved, but. I just feel like he either wouldn't be interested or he'd want to fall in love with someone before taking them to bed.

Leander

I love him, he's incredible. So talented, so kind!! I love the respect the Bloodhounds have for him, and how willing he is to go out of his way to help a stranger.

Also he blushes very easily and I love it, he's absolutely adorable

I am very very curious how he got so much skill with magic, because that doesn't seem to be normal. I bet it has something to do with his secret.

He very clearly has some serious trauma in his past, too. I wonder how he got that scar, if it has anything to do with his magic, if it is indeed the same scar running from his face to his arm....

Seems like he drowns his trauma in alcohol, his gang, and keeping himself very busy. Poor thing clearly doesn't get as much sleep as he should.

I think he just wants to be loved, but he's afraid to let himself be too vulnerable.

Vere

Foxboy Foxboy Foxboy Foxboy Fox-

Can I just say that I'm a little bit in love with his design. I mean I am with all of them but. Especially Vere. I love foxes and it's just. *Chef's kiss*

He's a cocky lil son of a biscuit tho. That tongue of his is quite sharp... as are his teeth~

I feel like he'd flirt with a Soulless to get what he wanted. In actuality he'd just murder it, but... you get my point. You're never sure if he's gonna seduce you or slit your neck.

Literally if Sage and Rime from Last Legacy had a child.

He's absolutely not trustworthy but I wanna get to the bottom of things and form that trust with him.

Romancing him would be very interesting. He's always three seconds away from eating you, but the question is... will he eat your soul, or your [redacted]?

Ais

He reminds me far too much of my friend's OC, and for that, I am the sliiiightest bit obsessed with him. At least that gives me a headstart on his characterization.

Would sell you to Satan for one cornchip, but fortunately MC interests him enough to keep them around

And Princess???? Oh my god. My heart. I adore her, I adore him, yes please

And he calls the MC "Sparrow"!!! That's absolutely precious. I love how he has nicknames for people, it's wonderful

Ais seems like the person who will tell you he doesn't care what happens to you and you can go get yourself killed for all he cares, then move heaven and earth to save you once you're even slightly in danger.

Mhin

Baby needs a hug. Enough said.

l absolutely adore them. They have stolen my heart.

And yes, maybe I do have the slightest bit of a savior complex, shut up. I'm just addicted to the hurt/comfort angst of it all, okay?

Literally hates everyone and everyone hates them (Except for, y'know, Kuras) because they're such a grumpy little loner and dear god just let me love you, let me teach you what love is.

They definitely fit into the whole "stronger than they appear" archetype because they're specifically mentioned to be pretty scrawny, but they have an impressive amount of strength and holy hells they're good with that dagger. That's incredible skill

I just. I want to break down those walls and earn their trust and teach them they have someone they can rely on who won't betray them, no matter what happens or how dark things get.

I just want to cuddle them and reassure them that everything's gonna be alright, is that a crime?

[midheavenastrology]

𓆏𓆏𓆏Your outer appearance + astrology ✪︎︎✌︎

****Celebrities examples are all sun sign placements, but description would be more for rising+sun.

👀Sagittarius placements always have cat eyes and really luscious lips 👄 they’re like the siren 🚨 personified xxx I personally think they’re some of the most beautiful people that have graced the earth- so sensual, so sessy. ex: Zoe Kravitz, Scarlett Johansson, Alexa Demie, Lucy Liu, Jane Birkin, Brad Pitt, Gemma Chan,

👀Cancer placements …y’all are SO ethereally beautiful, like what ? You all look like fallen angels: full, round face, soft eyes and perfectly pouty lips. So angelic, so divine 👼not stereotyping but y’all do look a little moony lol 🌝 ex: Margot Robbie, Selena Gomez, Ariana Grande, Kali Uchis, Hoyeon Jung, Lana Del Rey, Hope Sandoval,

👀Taurus placements..your bone structure is insane. This one’s obvious because Taurus is ruled by the planet of beauty, Venus, but there’s this grace and goddess/god like energy of Taurus placements. Earth mama/daddy energy. 🌎🍃Nurturing, grounding peaceful. 🕊ex: Gigi Hadid, Robert Pattinson, George Clooney, Cate Blanchett, Travis Scott, Megan Fox, Machine Gun Kelly, Penelope Cruz

👀Gemini placements: there’s this untouchable kinda beauty to y’all. Almost like you’re not from this planet. Eternal youthfulness (Mercury ruled y’all) feminine yet masculine at the same time or vice versa. 🧔‍♀️Very gender fluid. Mischievous look in ur eyes. Deep set eyes that have perma Smokey eye filter. Smaller frame ex: Angelina Jolie, Natalie Portman, Lily Rose Depp and Johnny Depp, Tom Holland, Princess Nokia, Emma Chamberlain, Emily Ratajkowski, Stevie Nicks, Naomi Campbell

👀Capricorn placements..this one’s personal because I have many caprisun placements, but everyone always says I have great bone structure. I see that in a lot of Capricorn celebrities. Great smiles (Capricorn rules the teeth), oddly goat 🐐 like but in the best way possible. Beautiful skin and usually blessed with great hair as well. Actually really ageless, no joke, we ages backwards I swear…a little elf like 🪄🧝‍♀️ ex: my boy Timothee Chalamet, Suki Waterhouse, FKA Twigs, Kate Moss, Hunter Schafer, Jared Leto, Francois Hardy, Florence Pugh

👀Scorpio placements: for real, y’all are so frickin sexy. Like damn.. you got those bedroom eyes and killer smile. Even if they’re not traditionally handsome (like Libras lol) there’s always something about Scorpio placements that draws you to them magnetically. Hypnotizing. Also there’s a kinda vampire 🧛‍♀️ vibe to them ngl. ex: Ryan Gosling, Leo DiCaprio, Travis Barker, Adam Driver, Winona Ryder, WILLOW, Joaquin Phoenix, Drake

👀Pisces placements: otherworldly beauty, like so so dreamy. They have that “dream girl” “dream guy” aura to them. Enchanting, intoxicating. 🔮Neptune rules Pisces and there is a undeniable fantastical quality to y’all. The kinda peeps that you can’t really take your eyes off of. Old soul energy with deep kindness in their eyes. Mermaid/merman energy 🧜‍♀️🧜 ex: Rihanna, Bad Bunny, Ansel Elgort, Olivia Wilde, Liz Taylor, Lupita Nyung’O, Drew Barrymore, Erykah Badu, Kurt Russell

👀Libra placements : I always tell people that Libras are gods favorite. They got the charm+ the looks+the artistic talent. 🙏Sheesh 🙄 There’s a kinda sweetness to their looks, yet you know they’re hiding something from you. It’s the same trickster energy as Gemini. If you were to create the perfectly balanced ⚖️human face, it would be on a Libra for sure. ex: Kim K, A$AP Rocky, Doja Cat, Brigitte Bardot, Gwen Stefani, Snoop Dogg, Dakota Johnson

👀Leo placements: there’s def a cat like energy to y’all- cat eyes, cat nose- just the way you carry yourself is regal 👸 you’re royalty and you know it. Big messy beautiful hair and even bigger luminous smiles. Your aura is like a big ball of light. Super star 🌟 quality. ex: Madonna, J Lo, Austin Butler, Jason Momoa, Chris Hemsworth, Mila Kunis, Cara Delevingne, Obama, Charlize Theron

👀Aquarius placements: Def something really striking about y’all, it’s like a beauty you can’t describe in words. 👀Tend to be quite slender in frame. Badass energy. 🏍Intimidating, yet warm. Contradicting to a T and that’s Uranian energy for you. ex: Harry Styles, Emma Roberts, Christian Bale, The Weeknd, Kid Cudi, Alicia Keys, Megan Thee Stallion, Shakira, Paris Hilton

👀Aries placements: there’s a childlike 👶🏻👶🏻innocence to your look, yet because of the Martian influence there is a fiery 🔥quality to ur looks and aura. Super sexy, yet looks like you wouldn’t hurt a fly. Smaller frame usually ex: Emma Watson, Paul Rudd, Kristen Stewart, Saoirse Ronan, Lady Gaga, Kiera Knightly, Pharrell

👀Virgo placements: Virgo is the virgin🧘‍♀️ maiden, and earthy energy of Mercury. There is a youthful quality to Virgo placements, just like Gemini, but it’s more feminine and soft in nature because Virgo is a feminine sign. Y’all have this wisdom in your eyes, like you see all the worlds hurts. Kind, gentle, yet a hidden sexiness to y’all. The kinda peeps who look innocent on the outside but u know there’s something quite tempting about them. 😉Smaller frame usually ex: Keanu Reeves, Salma Hayek, Zendaya, Beyoncé, Blake Lively, Tom Hardy, Idris Elba, Sydney Sweeny

That’s all y’all 💜 thanks for reading 🙏

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Linda Darnell (Hangover Square, Unfaithfully Yours, A Letter to Three Wives)— Her dick is ENORMOUS. She was Fox’s resident bad girl for a while, and she was goddamn sexy during it. She could also play sweeter, and she was still beautiful when she wasn’t crushing men beneath her heels, but also she sometimes crushed men beneath her heels and it was really hot

Vera Zorina (I was an adventuress)—I'm going to be honest, I saw her in a movie for the first time just yesterday but, my god! I have been made a simp. I watched 'I was an adventuress' and she was literally so good. The way she used her body and voice was excellent and the ballet section was wonderful. She was lovely and her (and Peter Lorre) brought such excellent energy to that film. Also, just look at those legs... and strong face.

This is round 2 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut]

Vera Zorina:

Linda Darnell:

LOOK AT THOSE EYES. She redefines sultry and dreamy.

ok i have a lot of feelings about linda darnell. she was so complex and messy and talented and just such a tragic figure and deserved so much better. her mom basically ignored the rest of her kids in favor of pushing linda into hollywood, which led to her missing out on a lot of childhood experiences, prevented her from enrolling in college, and caused some mental health issues later in life. it’s especially heartbreaking that she met such a preventable end so early in life, and i always wonder what might’ve happened if she had been able to make more movies. she also disliked the hollywood social scene, which i think is totally valid of her. anyway, i loved her in a letter to three women and unfaithfully yours, and especially in no way out, which i think is one of her better roles, really showcasing her acting ability. and the fact that she never really got recognition keeps me up at night,, in my heart she has all the oscars

[pennyserenade]

there is a plethora of good x-files fanfics out there and i've just started to develop the problem of reading a very good one and not being able to find it again. because of this - and because all of these are genuinely novel worthy and the writers are INSANELY talented - i've decided to compile a list of some of my absolute favorites. some of these are from ao3 & some of them i found on other websites, such as x-libris and the gossamer project. i hope you enjoy these as much as i did and do. they mean the world to my romantic heart.

incrementum by lepusarcticus (explicit) - this was the first x-files fanfic i ever remember reading. i was trying desperately not to spoil the show for myself and i found out that this fic followed along the narrative, which was a godsend. i got the best of both worlds: a delectable, angsty passionate mulder/scully fic (in which they fucked from day 1) and no spoilers. it was so so so so fun reading this alongside watching the show. this writer is brilliant

omens by lepusarcticus (explicit) - i was not lying when i said this writer is brilliant. this entire thing reads like a novel and i could not for the life of me put it down when i stumbled upon it. its angsty and interesting, and could very well be another episode of the x-files because the case mulder and scully are one is so compelling. it is not easy feat to write something this good. chris carter, eat your heart out

triptych by iconicscullyoutfits (not rated but i'd say mature) - THIS WAS SO FUCKING GOOD. i can't speak highly enough about this one. its an au where mulder is married to diana fowley when he meets scully. its so so so so amazing. like i'd very well call this literature because it expanded my mind (i learned a great deal from this, especially from the chapter ice). i think diana was a very interesting character and i feel as though this fic treats her with the interest she deserves. the writing in this one is simply insane too - i'm envious of it and so so so in love with it.

love in all the wrong places by sisterspooky1013 (explicit) - mulder and scully accidentally have cybersex with each other while trying out online dating group chats. what more can i say? (also i applaud this author for making mulder's online handle allshookup61. that's so fucking mulder)

universal invariants (set from 1 to early season 2) and its sequel, laws of motion (set season 5) (both explicit) by syntax6 - these both hold such a special place in my heart. it is an au that takes on the idea that scully's bf (who was cut from the pilot, never to see the light of day) stays in the picture and there when dana starts working with fox. universal invariants makes me want to weep to because dana and fox are both so young and earnest and stupid! and laws of motion is great because they're still stupid but they're wiser about it. this is very dana and fox. i love, love, love the parts of universal invariants that cover dana's abduction arc. god these are GOOD.

arizona highways by fialka (explicit) - if you're one of those girlies who really likes an x-files episode that has a lot of case-file and scully going on, this one is FOR you. it is angsty in the worst of ways, covering more of what we see in the episodes christmas carol and emily. this is another one that i would call a novel, both in length and content. it is great and it is a very good dive into the character of scully and how she handles problems in her life

heart's desire by malibusunset (explicit) - this another really great scully-focused fic, where mulder is being a bit of an ass - as he is prone to - but she makes him come to his senses accidentally. i love a good jealous mulder and i love it even more when scully isn't exactly aware she's making him that way. this is so good that i stayed up an entire night reading it. you should too!

the guts / the incision / cauterize by wtfmulder (not all of the chapters are explicit but i would call this explicit in general) - this one is so fucking angsty it made me ache incredibly. it is a sucker punch to the gut that only the lovers (or rather, dedicated haters) of the diana/fox/dana situationship can truly appreciate. also, if you like your mulder a bit of an ass (i do! i think he really can be! i think its good to talk about!) this author is for you!!!

doorway to gods by wtfmulder (explicit) - a fic where mulder & scully go investigate a supposed portal to other dimensions shortly after scully recovers from cancer, and they both find themselves in separate hellish alternative universes where other mulder & scullys aren't doing so well. this is angsty, TOP TIER angsty. some of the scenes from this i think about often still and i read this a month ago. also this is hot. i can't not mention that small fact

the tiger complex by longgunguy (i'd say r for graphic violence but no sex or anything) - i'll be real, there isn't a whole lot of mulder/scully romance in this thing, aside from the a hand hold and a lot of quiet affection but this IS the x-files. in another world, this fic is an episode and it is brutal. you'll be biting your nails as you make your way through this one. its got a great cast of original characters and an incredible case-file, up there with an episode like ice.

[deedala]

💘weekly tag wednesday💘

love edition - thanks @heymacy for this weeks game and for tagging me!! &lt;3

name: deanna🌱

where the heck are ya? oHIo🌽

do you believe in love at first sight? in my fiction? yes. in reality? eeehhh...

do you believe in soulmates? like predestined one person for one person, not really. but i believe there are people out there you can make soulmate level connections with.

what’s a song you’ve been loving? im still on my guilty pleasure by chappell roan shit right now

how about a show you’ve been loving? ive been enjoying the show death and other details starring the loml rahul kohli

your ultimate OTP: i mean its gonna be ian and mickey huh

your comfort book: the masked empire by patrick weekes

a fan work you adore (fic, art, manip, etc — tag the creator!): i've been thinking about the incredible amount of detail and hard work and talent involved in these cookies made by @michellemisfit every single one of them is such ART. and so many different techniques used to create the right textures and the shiny decorative glass on the alibi?? i mean jesus michelle you were so insane for this. and two fics: a short one Flyboy and the Gearhead by @the-rat-wins which i read recently. im obsessed with the scifi world depicted in it and i loved the ian and mickey in it, they hurt me in the good way lol. And a long one you'll never see us again by @spoonfulstar which i read awhile ago but i still think about it on a regular basis, i maintain it permanently altered my brain chemistry. It's beautiful, its a work of art, it ripped my soul in two...but in the good way.

a trope that captures your heart: mutual pininnnggggg

favorite candy: is it andes chocolate mints?? yeah i think so.

dark chocolate or white chocolate? dark chocolate!

romance novels or thrillers? god i'd love it if theyre both at the same time but if i have to pick then romance.

pink or red? pink :>

and finally, spread some love! share words of encouragement, a positive message, or say something kind to yourself — it’s up to you! to me and everyone else: keep making the things that get stuck in your head and make your heart sing. you cant please everybody so first and foremost make sure you're enjoying what you're doing <3

and now i shall tag some precious nuggets to either play or not, but either way i am handing each of you a little valentine 💘💘💘@michellemisfit @darlingian @too-schoolforcool @mmmichyyy @heymrspatel @gallawitchxx @metalheadmickey @energievie @jrooc @mybrainismelted @mickeysgaymom @whatwouldmickeydo @the-rat-wins @creepkinginc @squirrel-fund @iansw0rld @rereadanon @sickness-health-all-that-shit @softmick @juliakayyy @crossmydna @themarchg1rl @lingy910y @thisdivorce @sleepyfacetoughguy @callivich @ardent-fox @vintagelacerosette @gardenerian @sam-loves-seb @lee-ow @transmickey @tanktopgallavich @palepinkgoat @suzy-queued