#what do i look like im made of money??? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

misty-missdee · 29 days

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Gay girl eats gay chili's gayly.

#and it was good #quite #good #oh dee #queer #trans #nonbinary #outfit #the same outfit basically #again #sue me #what do i look like im made of money???#aaaanyways #gay chili's #yeah #i know my life sounds so interesting #but if you know you know you know~#you #know

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beeduoo · 2 months

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wonderful

#there is a ranboo that goes withthis but i didn't like how he was looking imma restart from scratch tmrw😭😭#ctubbo #michael beloved #ctubbo fanart #Guys you have no idea what i went through today like it wa fucking crazy i need to share this #so i went to the mall after school right and im going home at like 8 on the train with my friend bc i was supposed to be picked up ay her #stop right but then im told to just go to my stop and take the bus and im like ok sure but the problem is my phone is on SEVEN PERCENT and w #hen i get to the stop my moms like u have money for the bus right and im like ueah and i check and i have NO MONEY #BUT I DIDNT TELL HER ANUTHING BC I DIDNT WANT HER TI GET MAD BC I KNEW SHE WOUDKNT WANT ME TO WALK ALL THE WAY HOME AT NIGHT (FOURTY BLOCKS #So im like ok im getting on the bus now my phone is on four percent i have to WALK HOME allll that way and there's this crazy ass upward hi #ll that's like ten blocks long ITS NOT EVEN THAT BAD but like my mom thinks im on the bus so im trying to speed walk as fast as i can and i #RAWDOGGED it too because MU PHONE WAS GOING TO IDE!!!!#I made it home at two percent U guys i was so proud of myself thank u for listening #IM SO MAD IT WOUKDVE BEEN OKAY IF I WASNT IN A RUSH And also if i had music uggghhh Whatever #I bought this really cute skirt at garage hold on let me find it #lexi pleated skort color Navy blue ITS SOOOO CUTE got some new leg warmers too yesss....#I NEED TO DOWNLOAD THE TRANSIT APP i woukdve been able to attach my apple pay and buy the stupid ticket if my phonewasnnt #too dead to do al that...#Guys always make sure u carry cash with yiu goodbye

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rohirric-hunter · 12 days

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For reference, in case anyone's curious about the coin shown in the epic coinflip emote.

I believe the profile on the heads side is meant to be Aragorn, which would make this a very strange coin to have for a PC who's not that far along on the Epic.

#lotro #actually im pretty sure that the way they made the heads side was that they took one of their models of aragorn #got a good sideview screenshot of it #masked it and slapped it on the coin and then colored it gold #id bet money on it actually #but enough of that. lets discuss the visible hooded cloak that hes clearly wearing alongside the crown #did the devs put much thought into that? maybe!#but its the telcontar in the official depiction #you know what i mean #anyway this is a gold piece #my long-held headcanon for silver pieces is the tree on one side #(stars if it was minted when there was a king but if there was no king then no stars)#and the winged crown on the other #given that one quest in. uh. wherever that one quest was #arnach? i think?#anyway given that one quest i think it would be neat if post war gondorian copper pieces had the tree on one side and a hammer on the other #also hi quick question ive been looking at regional currencies and uhhhhhhhhh whats the exchange rate on these #are we to assume based on this emote that regular gold silver and copper is gondorian currency?#makes sense in some places. bree and the shire for instance might very well keep on using arnors old currency #one could even argue that when they needed to mint new coins they just made them in the model of the old ones #but why on earth do i get these as a quest reward in forochel? the vales? erebor?#also gondor alone has like 19 thousand different faction currencies #exchange rate? not even because i want to exchange my tokens just explain this aspect of your worldbuilding please

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theygender · 1 month

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I've got too many games I want to play and not enough free time 😭 I still need to finish my BG3 playthrough but since Endless Ocean: Luminous came out I've been playing a lot of that instead. Also just got back into Wizard101 last night. Started playing House Flipper again last weekend. Still need to finish BOTW so I can start a TOTK playthrough and finish Pokemon Shield so I can start on Pokemon Violet. I've been fighting off the urge to start up a new Skyrim playthrough for weeks. My brother just told me that Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door is getting ported to the Switch. And now I'm suddenly feeling inspired to replay DAI... And throughout all of this I'm also playing the hell out of DragonVale on my phone. Someone just pay me to play video games all day please

#and before anyone suggests it: no i cant try to get into streaming #the way i play video games is extremely frustrating for other people to watch ahdjsksl #no one is going to give me money for producing a video where i spend two hours checking every barrel in the map while juggling my inventory #and then immediately give up on a puzzle and just sit in silence for 30 minutes while i look up a walkthrough instead #i need a situation that pays me $200 a day just to be autistic at the screen alone in the comfort of my own home #rambling #a few years ago i made it a mission to play all of the dragon age games and dlcs in order and i did not complete it #i got all the way to inquisition before i quit #i had already played it on ps3 but i wanted to replay on my new gaming laptop and unfortunately my computer decided it was too complicated #and also i just wanted to play as an elf again and i was resisting that urge bc i played as an elf the first time and wanted something new #so i didnt connect to my character as much #BUT ive learned a lot about optimizing my games from getting bg3 to run on my computer #so i think i could get it to handle dai now. especially if i upgrade to ssd like ive been wanting #and i just saw a dai post on my dash that made me daydream about possible characters and i was struck with inspiration #when i first played through on ps3 i didnt know anything about da lore. it was my first dragon age game #i was just doing whatever i thought seemed coolest #so i basically modeled my inquisitor after my dnd oc and then just picked a vallaslin i thought was pretty #and then when it came time to pick a specialization i was just like 'i mean my hand has rift magic right? seems obvious enough'#but now i know the LORE. and the dalish really interest me. and i want to make an inquisitor thats their own character #i didnt want to replay another elf mage bc i thought it would be too similar #but at the same time i wanted to re-experience dai (and experience trespasser for the first time) now that i knew more about the dalish #(with mods that fix the annoying bits where your character seems to not know about their own religion of course lol...)#i was thinking about that and i just got hit with some inspiration #instead of 'my dnd character but with a cool tattoo and rift magic and they kinda roll with the inquisitor stuff bc idk whats going on'#what if i made a more intentional character with a much different personality and their own backstory #theyre still the first of their clan but i know what that means now so theyre not really into the herald of andraste stuff #theyre a devotee of falon'din with his vallaslin and fittingly choose necromancy specialization (tho theyre annoyed by all the maker talk)#they can look cool and goth and maybe they even make some different choices about the well of sorrows 👀#i could keep rambling but im running out of tags gah #anyways ive got lots of ideas now and i think the playthrough would be unique enough to be worth it

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carcarrot · 13 days

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do i really want to make individual drinks again

#reaching back into the file cabinets of my mind to remember how i made certain drinks when i worked at the cafe #in preparation for the possibility of this new job #it would certainly mean far less goofing off time than i have at my current job. and i value my goofing off time dearly #but the people here are so fucking annoying lmao. i hate them soooo much #not that the people at this new job would be any better. we're still dealing with investment bankers #godddddd. what i really would want (which would be impossible)#would be to go back to working at the cafe but like. still have paid time off and insurance lmao #but the cafe was a small business and he was not offering paid time off and insurance. and the pay was way less #but i did get to play whatever music i wanted. unfortunately you cant live on that #like i can always say no to this new job if its offered to me. but is my goofing off time worth:#2 dollars less in pay and a half hour to an hour's more commute. well i dont know #a shorter commute would mean i could sleep more. and have more time at home .#i mean i probably don't Need all this goofing off time. but its nice #i dont knowwwwwww #like even though im a bit nervous abt doing it again i know that i would easily fall back into the routine of making drinks #which i was fairly good at. my one drawback is that i cant do latte art but i dont know that theyd really care here #and (because i found the menu of where id work) theres not a ton of drink options?? just the standard stuff #its being called a starbucks cafe but 1) its not managed by them and 2) it does not have their 5 billion drink options #so thats good. less to worry about #doesnt look like i even have to make anything foodwise which i had to at the cafe #here it looks like people can just buy a pastry and thats it #the hours are like. the same i work now. also good #sorry im like using this post to think through my thoughts.#uhhhh oh i looked up the manager who looks like a weenie so im not keen on the prospect of interviewing with him #but i probably would have thought that about my current manager if id seen a pic of him prior to interviewing. i guess???#and with these kind of catering units it seems you dont often deal directly with the manager that much anyway #i just gotta see if i get good vibes #rn i have unsure vibes. but i need a sign to see if this could be good for me #oh id also save money on transportation. and taxes! bc i wouldnt be working in ny anymore #lol oops tag limit. well i hope you enjoyed my job thoughts you probably didnt i know i didnt

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todayisafridaynight · 9 months

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i HAVE to keep the daigo plush locked away lest i squeeze it every five minutes to alleviate the cuteness aggression i feel whenever i see it

#snap chats #being without my computer charger has been maddening #that makes me sound terminally online and its because i am. its also cause all i ever wanna do is draw :((#AND I ESP WANNA WORK ON MY COMMS NOOOOO FUCK #i mean i was at least able to read through yakuza’s bias vol 2… so theres that…#MY SCHOOL STORE DIDNT HAVE LAPTOP CHARGERS i had to order one… hopefully it gets here Overnight like i asked….. if not ill kill #anyway. daigo plushie so cute :((((((((((((((((#mine cute too but theres just something especially squeezeable about daigo #alas.. thats what the aoki plush’ll be for. my personal stress toy ☠️☠️☠️☠️#lowkey i wish i also got ichi but then i remenbee they made him pale as all hell and Yeah Im Not Putting Money To That #THE SMALLEST BIT OF A TAN I BEG YOU RGG WHY IS HE SO PALE IT DONT LOOK RIIIIGHT :((((#anyway.. i have my last class in half an hour… lemme drink this tea…#also Lowkey obsessed with my outfit today.. its that butterfly shirt + gold accessories since theyre monarch butterflies #tho Lowkey 2x the black and yellow remind me of the watase blokes from gaiden…… wack…..#ok bye its tea time #help one of my roommates just came home and she just announces like. ‘man those edibles were. OUGH’#calling my dad to pick me up nooo im a lame straight edge dont talk about drugs around me ill scream and cry LMAO #ok im done byebye lemme drink this good god

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skunkes · 10 months

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#really really really regretting not being in hell for a few short years of whatever degree wouldve made me money #even if im still convinced i wldnt have made it out alive #bc its starting to really hit now. like im never gonna have a good job or be able to stay afloat #i keep getting sad bc i have expensive tastes for future home decor and fashion and such LOL #wondering if i shld go back to college but idek what id study considering even good career paths dont have guaranteed jawbs...#i need to get lucky somehow... i rlly dont know what I'm gonna do #im never getting out of here and if i do it'll just be a different fight to stay alive...wah #talkys #whatever im [sad] im gonna go [look at ryan goslings ken] so i wont be so [sad]

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ialwaysknewyouwerepunk · 2 months

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#these past two weeks have been so intense that ive just.. not spoken about it once i got home from work #blocked it all out #my beloved colleague whose desk is next to mine has cancer #breast and uterus. she needs two major surgeries #they just diagnosed her two weeks ago #so we've been trying to deal with that as colleagues and friends #because we love and miss her and i am so deeply sad as well #but i feel like i couldn't process that at all bc two days after the news of her diagnosis i was asked to take on half of her work #on top of my fulltime #which i agreed to do bc i like her tasks and i want to help her and i also know i can do it #but it does feel very off bc i know i don't earn enough money for this workload to be long term and it is def like this #for the coming four months at least #so i did tell my manager that i would like a raise and. that bitch told me to BUY MORE SECOND HAND SHIT.#i seriously thought i saw my life flash before my eyes #then the day after she asked one of my colleagues who's been with the firm for over 30 years whether she was looking for another job maybe?#which caused that colleague to instantly go home in tears and be home from basically a nervous breakdown the past 1.5 week #which is her full right and i support her with all my heart but bc my management sucks it meant that we had to also carry her tasks ofc #i felt soooo spread thin and super super angry actually but i didn't even realise how angry i was until last thursday my colleague w cancer #came by the office. and talked about all of it. and i suddenly realised how sad i was but then also how angry #but i was just blocking it all out trying to stay afloat #bc we told her about what the manager had said and she said “i hope that i get the chance to really tell her how it is someday.”#“because the stress she causes with people can actually kill you. just look at me.”#and the rest of the day i felt so ready to be done with everything actually #but seeing her anger made me see my own anger #and released me of my own pent up emotions bc i had actual leg pains this week and it was purely psychosomatic #i then managed to tell some friends yesterday about what was going on and their outrage spurred me on even more #so today i emailed hr. demanding a raise #doing this amount of work while constantly feeling like the house is on fire while also struggling financially seriously makes me suicidal #and i am not joking #so.. if nothing comes of that im leaving that job and not looking back

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dandyshucks · 5 months

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everyone pray for me that i did not just give myself food poisoning (;･∀･)

#i may have made a bad decision with the meat i cooked shdjdkl BUT I THINK IT'LL BE FINE #it was past the date on the packaging but it didnt smell or look or feel off at all so . i decided to risk it #and now im panicking bc i think perhaps that was actually rly stupid fhdkdl #but it was. so much money. i had no idea the date was so soon on the package when i got it from mum #I would've frozen it if I'd known dhdksl i should've looked #alas !!! i think it'll be fine tbh bc it genuinely did not seem spoiled at all so ... now we just pray #i had a fairly small serving of it and I'll see how i feel to figure out if the rest of it is safe to eat or not #im just fhdjdkl crying a little rn bc the past two days have been so awful and im so tired #i rly dont want to get sick on top of everything else going on #i would like one thing to go well fjdkdl just like. one thing. this feels like divine punishment for having the old lady group go so well #im just kind of losing my mind rn i think actually fhfkdl i have a therapy/counseling appt on monday though so we'll see if that helps #i do not have high hopes fjfkdl #MANNNN. can the universe give me a break PLEASE. I've been trying so hard the past three weeks to do well 😭😭#im putting in so much work and effort fhdksl can i PLEASE have this one thing go okay djdksl i do not want to get sick !!!#if i do get sick then im just. hhhhh. idk djdkdl it's just one more thing to add to my pile of Bad ig djdkdl what can ya do djdkdl #i am going to pull myself together and stop crying and go play stardew maybe idk fjdkdl i feel like im starting to crack a little bit #augh. augh. i would love to catch a break djdkdl #dandy.cmd #vent //

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coffee-bat · 9 months

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me when i'm punk (and it's important to me) and have a long-running bat thing going on, and i'm trying to make a cash banooca sona/oc, but there's already a punk bat in the franchise and i have to try way harder to make them distinct and not look like a knock-off

#punk bat is already taken but i want a punk bat so bad!!!!!#ramble #i just keep re-doing designs and i'm honestly not happy with any of the ones i made so far #they either end up too boring or too complicated #and i'm trying to balance my personal style preferences (punk) with the character's job/role #(they're a cortex minion whose role is mainly patrolling/scouting. they're also partially cyborg and have replaced blood for better stamina)#so it has to be a mix between aesthetic and what would be actually practical and reasonable for being active + flight #i'm just gonna assume cortex would let them do online clothes shopping from like monthly pocket money or sth #but yeah im. still working on the design 😭#//another problem is that my absolute favorite hairstyle and one i want to give them is very similar to what alt tawna has #so i have to do a lot of adjustments so they won't look like a catbat-tawna fanchild or sth💀💀

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panspy · 2 months

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hmmmmmm.................vent post under tags...... feel free to give advice or dont¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#i think this is an autism related thing #but i genuinely feel like i wasnt made right for the world we live in #like something is just missing from me that ive never seen ppl talk about #and i know this is going to sound entitled and privileged and i KNOW i know i promise and im so lucky i can even be thinking about this but #it feels weird to have the privilege to be scared #this is specifically in regards to working #like having a job. like going to work #i feel like im missing an extremely important part of my brain or my BEING that is capable ot going through the motions of participating #in society. i never felt that switch of wanting to get a job in high school to make money for myself and get that experience #i feel like there's something i MISSED where everyone took a class on how to apply and go to interviews and write resumes and not be scared #like i NEED to be walked through every SINGLE step because i dont know HOW #and i see my peers and the literal entire world around me participating in this atmosphere and i dont know where to start #im fucking twenty three years old and ive only ever been an intern and an assistant #not even a full year of working #i cant drive and i probably wont ever because thats a whole other can of worms #and that means i have to rely on other people to even get to wherever it was i needed to go #i feel like a fucking child because im missing this knowledge that everyone else seems to have #ive tried i really have but none of it seems simple and its all so much and there arent steps to follow #i mean there ARE but its like 1) look up job 2) apply 3) interview 4) yay you're employed #and im talking about each micro step inbetween #what am i missing #and then theres the fucking demand avoidance that slaps me across the face whenever my mom brings it up to me like i KNOW youre being #supportive and encouraging and its not your fault my brain turns off and decides im full of shame bc i cant CONFRONT ANYTHING #jesus christ #manf i know u can see this maybe dont bring it up to mom i can do that on my own maybe #i WANT to help i just want to help at my own pace but unfortunately the world isnt built around individual paces and nothing revolves #around me. i know this #i want to help my mom i want her to never be stressed about money and to retire and never work or help me pay my student loans but i #genuinely feel like theres a switch that never turned on in my head and im being left behind and i genuinely dont know how to. like be alive

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rox-of-iu · 1 year

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got ghosted by sticker printing company 😔😔😔very sad

#o(-(#s s tick i es (tearful)#just to clarify its not like they took my money and dipped nah i havent made the order yet #i just sent them a question if theyd be able to print it and they said ye just to make the cut lines in vector #so i replied with my attempt asking if they can use it like this or if it needs to be diff (i just transformed the lines from raster)#so prolly not usable so i said if they cant use it that id pay the fee for them to do it #and then i havent heard from them back jhsdkfsd #and like its been more than a week and the first reply from them was sent the day after so..#so idk if they just missed my mail or if they just said fuck you in particular actually we dont want to deal with you hahhajh #like the wait would make sense if they were making the cut lines....but they wouldnt just jump into it without informing me first right #that makes no sense #oh well #ue ue ue #and no im already too embarrassed i cant send them another mail asking whats up #and i cant also act like nothing happened and fix the lines from scratch and just order it from their site without asking more info #cuz.... i still dont know how they want the files to look ITS NOT EXPLAINED ANYWHERE #like do u want svg file with layers or do u want two separate pdfs I DON KNOOooooo #sigh #i could call them and pretend to be rando just interested in possible future order asking how its done hahaa nothing to do with me #head in hands 😔🤡 this is so embarrassing #and any other local stickie printing places dont spark joy this one was perfect in placement and everything #usually i wouldnt have the courage to pursue this any longer but i REALLY want those stickers hashadk #on one hand...anxiety.. on the other stickies 💞💓😊#we'll see which one will win xD #cheerio now #i just reread this and i would like to reiterate i am a wholeass adult ok im just disaster ok i swear im not a child please hajahj #my social anxiety is just unparalleled ✨#ok bye now lol

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babylon5 · 1 year

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im gonna be real with you,

#i found out i cant go to the concert ive been looking forward to since December #for a band that has meant everything to me since i was 13 #because the shuttle isnt accessible like it claimed to be and we have a 10 minute walk from its dropoff location #which i can do in a wheelchair but my mom cannot #and my able bodied cousin swore she'd take me she said absolutely she would take me!! and then she said oops nevermind Last Week.#my mom made new plans to take me and this was a FUCKTON of money lost because she bailed on us #and now my mother is crying because my cousin still hasnt paid back any of the money we lent her years ago #and now we've just lost more #and im on disability the only one here with an income btw lol what we spent was half my monthly paycheck!!#im tired of this world not being accessible to the disabled #im tired of people disappointing me on purpose #she didnt even bail to us directly she had her mother (my moms sister who have a deeply uncomfortable relationship) call my mom and inform-#her that her daughter was suddenly bailing because she doesnt like concerts ?!? after promising multiple times?? ok.#sorry this is an insane vent im just. IM TIRED. I am so tired.#it was supposed to be the first good and genuinely fun day for me in months.

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silverislander · 4 months

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idk if it's genuine excitement or the energy drink i had earlier that's actually letting me focus and work but dude. i am CRUSHING this essay. this is Fun To Write. i think i'm actually doing a really good job here. wtf. i love my major man

#i am a LITTLE bit sad i cant do grad school bc like. im going to miss writing essays and researching and all once i graduate #i do genuinely like doing it. call me a nerd or whatever but i love it esp when its on smth fun and interesting like this #now im not sad enough to actually DO grad school lmao #unless i got offered a scholarship or smth idk. wont happen but. hm. if it did.#seriously tho. i would think more seriously abt it if it werent for my adhd. i just dont think its realistic for me #as much as i like my field i dont think i have the ability to focus well enough to complete the work id need to complete #i went to the meeting abt grad school i learned abt what it requires/why people do it and all. i just dont think i can do that #and bc i ultimately cant get diagnosed -> cannot get help/medication thats not going to improve any time soon #after years of learning how to adapt and work with my brain this is probably the best i can do without medical/institutional intervention #its not worth paying a shitload of money and possibly setting my career back by years only to fail out yk?#im not too torn up abt it. ill give it more thought if it becomes relevant but rn its not really on my radar #ive done an excellent job in school! im getting an honours degree (hopefully)! most people dont even get that far #a lot of people with my condition dont even get into university let alone graduate. im incredibly lucky to be able to do what i can #levi.txt #this is all over the place but takeaway is im having a good time! things are coming together i feel confident in my work #im gathering theorists and sources for the section on night of the living dead and having a blast #ive got my examples all lined up my arguments make sense in my head i know where to look for applicable theories etc etc #i just need supporting quotes and im working on that rn!! it hasnt even been that hard #ok. back to work. i need to harness the power of caffeine once more (made my brain quiet) (no longer full of bees) (im in charge)

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princekirijo · 1 year

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OK this is the last post I make on the topic because I don't like being too personal on Tumblr (not anymore at least) and tbh I might delete this after a while but it is so upsetting to see people shit on people who are addicted to gacha games. It doesn't matter what it is an addiction is an addiction. I've heard of people going into debt over these things like do you understand how sad and terrible that is. And like maybe idk we shouldn't laugh at them for spending 1k+ on some anime waifu maybe we should idk treat them like a human being and help them.

#turning off reblogs on this because i dont want this spreading #i say personal because ive been affected #not the extent that i've put myself in debt or anything wild don't worry #and to me its less how much i spent and more how fucking fast i was to spend it #but thats as much detail as i'll give #because a) i dont want to discuss it with you guys i love y'all but i have to set my boundries #and b) because as i said i would literally get made fun of for it #and people justify it like 'oh the characters are well written!' yeah because they want you to care about them so you spend money #its literally what the whole system is based on #in gensh!n at least i cant speak for other gacha games #the fundemental system is still fucked up #and look i wouldn't judge anyone for playing these games because that would be hypocritical #so like if you play them whatever #but just do really really think about what you're doing #for your own sake #i know its hard too i wont lie i miss gens!n because i used to play with my gf #she was so understanding though when i came away from it love that woman so much #not sure i would have stopped if it wasn't for her #im probably making it sound worse than it was but then again its probably like oh it wasn't that bad but if you think about it kinda was #just not as severe i suppose #and like final thing but the fact that i literally dont feel i can talk to anyone about this #im much better than i was because ultimately just coming away from the game and the fandom helped #but like because of the stigma around it on and offline i wouldn't feel safe talking about it unless its a professional therapist #and that's so fucked up #sounds like im looking for sympathy im sorry im really not (maybe a little subconsciously) but i want people to know that yeah its fucked #and you're not cool or better because you bully people for it especially if you play them yourself #sorry this post is all over the place ill def be deleting this in a few hours LMAO i just need to get it off my chest #and in fairness to y'all ye're good listeners #ask to tag

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siriuslynephilim · 6 months

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tag limit hit ho gayi yaar

#haan toh main kya bol rahi thi.#haan unhone sab itna jaldi kiya cheek pe kiss bhi kiya i was like arey please no aap rakho itne saare paise i can't 😭#cause she already bought me that hoodie for like 700 rs #she was like i can't be here for your birthday na #bhai meko toh rona hi aa gaya itna saara pyaar i swear mere parents ko iska 1% bhi nahi hai mujhse😭😭#and money has been tight bachpan se cause shit happened in like 2013 or something and since then we've all been single #mindedly striving for highest paying jobs best education and now that she's finally there (touchwood)#i think it means a lot to her being able to spend money freeely for her loved ones #and with her idk i do believe that she loves me yes because she said ek baari when she was crying because kuch kuch hua tha #but also attending meeting office ki online rote hue sob karte hue kyunki parents time dekhkar thodi na ladte hai #and i didn't know how to help her and i knew they were. fighting subah se and she hadn't eaten anything so i made her cornflakes ka doodh #(her fav) and gave it to her table pe but it just made her sob much much harder and she couldn't drink it😭#but later on she said ki im so thankful i have you mujhe dikh raha tha ki you wanted to help but you didn't know kaise karu still you tried #and just you being there was enough in that moment #like i don't know why im thinking all this today maybe because bua is here home and she was home that time too it happened in front of her #all this she's the only person who knows what kinda shit dad does #and just. past few weeks i really genuinely wanted to kms like i would sit in morning class and i would look down at my hands and see the #veins and think one cut and it would all be over you're so tired i know you can rest now #it got so bad that i started wearing full sleeve clothes only so i couldn't look at them #but now. i won't say it's completely gone that feeling but like #i want to live because so many plans i have to with my sister how can i leave her alone #like not just for her but for me for us i want us to be happy together like we planned #like yk us as a unit doing things we've always dreamed of visiting places and bachelorette parties and clubbing and living with her and her #bf/husband when i need somewhere to run to and going on a no budget shopping spree and storing ice cream tubs in our house #like they used to do in american movies and her having kids me getting over my disgust for them helping her raise them clean them being #the masi and #I DON'T KNOW OKAY OMG😭#i felt so loved finally after a long time SACH MEIN real way mein #oh pata hai she also offered to pay mere tui ki fees bc i was complaining to mom ki papa kaise taunt maarte hai😭#like it's 20 fucking thousand waise toh kam hi hai but as a salaried person it's still a lot 😭

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