#what do you mean this wasn't a romance film?

[reidmania]

sharpest tool | s.reid

(chapter four, motion sickness)

'I hate you for what you did and I miss you like a little kid. i faked it every time but that's alright. i can hardly feel anything, i hardly feel anything at all, I have emotional motion sickness somebody roll the windows down, there are no words in the english language, i could scream to drown you out'

summary; you never had someone make you feel safe enough to open up, until spencer. now trying to cope with his sudden absence you learn to lean on your new found friendship with his coworker, penelope.

warnings; fem reader, mentions of bad relationships, ghosting, commitment issues, self doubt & overthinking, preettyy angsty idk guys, no comfort yet but there is some fluff, and theres penelope & reader friendship!! reader lowkey shit talks spencer but he deserves it. reader is embarrassed & upset. reader is lowkey really mean, but shes coping guys. i think this is my favourite chapter out of all of them.

2.3k words

taglist; @gghostwriter @lavonee @guiltyyassin @spencersinonlygf @criminalmindssworld @iknwreid @fortheloveofgubler @yokaimoon @sapphirecobalt-1 @eddiesdrummergf @livvyliv15 @lover-of-books-and-tea a @sebastiansstanswhore @bloodredrubyrose @sp3ncelle @nemobee777 @jencole214 @hazzarules

SERIES MASTERLIST

The lights are low, casting a soft, warm glow on the room, making it feel almost too cozy for the storm of emotions swirling inside of you. Penelope sits across from you on the other side of the coffee table, her vibrant personality seeming muted for once. She’s not wearing her usual bright colors, just a simple oversized shirt and pajama pants, the kind of clothes that scream comfort. It fits the night. It fits the conversation.

“You want to talk about it?” Penelope asks, voice gentle, but still full of that spark of energy that only she has. There’s no judgment there. Her eyes made you believe there never would be.

Your fingers tug absentmindedly at a loose thread on the hem of your sweatpants, the silence stretching between you like an invisible barrier. But it’s not an uncomfortable silence. Penelope doesn’t push. She doesn’t know you well enough to push. You’re not sure how to start, not sure how to talk about something you’re still struggling to process.

The night had consisted of making cookies, watching sickeningly sweet romance films you both gushed over — there were numerous times you had to stop your mind from drifting to Spencer, and when it did, you felt a sickening ache in your stomach. For the most part, besides those moments where the room fell quiet and your mind drifted, the night had been great.

“He just... stopped,” you whisper, voice barely audible, but Penelope catches it. Her eyes soften, and she leans forward slightly, offering silent encouragement for you to continue. "One day, Spencer was there, and the next... he wasn't. Theoretically of course..”

Spencer was different to anyone else you met, or at least he seemed that way. You thought he understood you. The way he listened, the way his eyes softened when he looked at you, the way he made you feel like you could breathe around him. No one had ever done that for you before. But then, when things had started getting real—when you both were on the verge of making it official—he disappeared. You couldn’t help but wonder if maybe it was a commitment issue thing. Or if he really just had been playing with you the entire time.

“I don’t understand why,” you continue, the words tumbling out faster now, as if saying them out loud will make them make sense. “One day, we were close. He’d text me every morning. He’d ask how I was feeling, what I was doing. He made me feel… seen. Like he actually cared. And then, nothing. No calls, no messages. He just—”

“Ghosted you?” Penelope finishes for you, and the bluntness of the term hits you harder than you thought it would. You nod, feeling the sting of it all over again.

“He just disappeared,” you say, the words coming out harsh, jagged. You laugh bitterly, but there’s no humor in it. “Like I wasn’t even worth an explanation.”

Penelope’s hand reaches across the table, her fingers curling around yours in a comforting squeeze. She doesn’t say anything for a moment, just lets you sit with the weight of your own pain. But her presence, her warmth, makes it feel a little less suffocating.

“I’m so sorry, sweetie,” she murmurs, her thumb brushing over the back of your hand. “Spencer… he’s complicated. I don’t know why he did this to you, but I can tell you for sure, it’s not your fault. It never was.”

You close your eyes for a second, trying to swallow down the hurt, but it lingers there, a dull ache that refuses to fade. It’s not just about Spencer ghosting you; it’s about all the hope you had pinned on him. You thought he was different, thought he could be the person who made you feel safe in a way you had never felt before.

You couldn’t help the embarrassment you felt, all you had been thinking about for days was ‘how could i be so stupid.’ You had your guard up for a reason. You didn’t date for a reason, and the fact that you had let him let you forget that. You were so mad at yourself.

You missed Spencer more than you were willing to admit. Sleep evades you, and when it comes, it’s restless—haunted by the ghost of his touch. Your limbs grew weary, not from movement but from the effort of carrying the silence he left behind.

Your lips twitch into a bitter smile. “Yeah, well, maybe that’s on me. I was stupid for thinking it would be different.”

“No. Absolutely not,” Penelope says firmly, her voice suddenly fierce in a way that surprises you. “No. You were not stupid. You opened up because he made you feel like you could, and that’s on him, not you. He gave you the signals. He made the promises, and then he broke them. Spencer—he’s got his issues. He’s been through a lot, but that doesn’t excuse what he did to you. You deserved better.”

You pull your knees up to your chest, hugging them tightly as Penelope’s words sink in. It’s hard to believe that sometimes, that you deserved better. Spencer had made you feel like you could finally let your guard down, but in the end, it just made the hurt cut deeper. — Maybe thats all you’d ever deserve.

“He made me feel safe,” you admit, your voice breaking slightly. “Which i know sounds stupid— But— I don’t know.. I trusted him.”

“And then he took that away,” Penelope finishes, her voice softening again, filled with understanding. “It’s okay to be hurt. It’s okay to be angry. You opened up to him because you trusted him, and he didn’t treat that trust the way he should have.”

You nod, biting your lip to keep the tears at bay. You hadn’t wanted to cry tonight. You hadn’t wanted to break down. But being here with Penelope, his friend, his co-worker, who was so sweet and so understanding, it’s harder to keep everything bottled up.

“I just don’t get it,” you say, voice shaking. “Why would he make me feel like I mattered, like we were something, and then just leave?”

Penelope sighs, leaning back against the couch. “Spencer’s not great at dealing with his emotions,” she explains gently. “He’s always in his head, analyzing things, trying to make sense of the world. But feelings aren’t always logical. And sometimes… sometimes he runs from things he can’t control.”

You shake your head, a bitter laugh escaping your lips. “Well, he sure ran fast.”

Penelope gives you a sad smile, squeezing your hand again. “I know it doesn’t make it easier, but sometimes people can care about you and still hurt you. It doesn’t mean what you had wasn’t real. It just means he is an idiot.”

You stare down at your hands, the weight of her words settling on your shoulders. Maybe she’s right. Maybe Spencer did care about you in his own way, but that didn’t change the fact that he left you when you needed him most. It didn’t change the fact that you were still trying to pick up the pieces of your heart while he was nowhere to be found.

“I mean, he’s so damn smart, right? So.. So smart, always figuring things out. But apparently, figuring out how to treat people isn’t part of his skill set.”

Penelope chuckles softly, though there’s no real humor in it. “Yeah, sometimes Spencer’s great at solving every problem except the ones that really matter.”

“Yeah, no kidding,” you mutter, shaking your head. The frustration still courses through your veins, and you grip the fabric of your pants tightly, trying to channel it somewhere, anywhere. “I’m not going to sit around waiting for some half-assed explanation either. If he wanted to tell me why he bailed, he would have.”

She nodded her head. “He is dumb.” She said.

A laugh passed through your lips as you nodded quickly in agreement. “How is he so smart — and sweet yet such a fucking coward? I’m so pissed that he couldn’t even end things in person — that he didn’t even say anything.” You ran your hands down your face.

Penelope smiled. Maybe you were being mean in order to deflect from the hurt in your heart and the way your brain fizzled with an overwhelming ache for the comfort of Spencer. “Are you sure you don’t want me to ask him about it?” She asked.

You were quick to shake your head. While you were desperate for an answer of what you could have possibly done — you weren’t desperate enough to go through his friends to get an answer. You refused to give him the satisfaction of knowing you cared so much. “No. No- Please don’t— Does he even know we have been talking?” Penelope was quick to shake her head with a grin.

“Nope! I haven’t said anything to him.. I sent a photo to JJ earlier of your bobble head collection, but I highly doubt she would’ve just shown Spencer?” She mumbled, shrugging her shoulders slightly. The words made you frown, yet glad. You didn’t care about Penelope sharing your silly bobble head collection, it was something you were very proud of.

“I don’t really care if he knows. Is it bad I hope he is really mad? Like I hope he is really really pissed off about it. Is that petty?” You tumbled out the questions as your mind swirled. You hoped he was mad because at least then in some way maybe you could believe he cared.

“Yes. Definitely petty.” Penelope nodded, a playful smile on her face. “But— If anyone has a right to be petty, it’s you.. You’re handing this better than I would. i’d want to egg his house.” She shrugged, the words made a string of laughter leave your lips.

“I really really do want to” You said honestly, “maybe then he would have to say something” It was silly, but it would lie to say the thought hadn’t crossed your mind. It was childish, and immature and so petty, but leaving someone with no explanation was also just as childish and immature so in your head, it evened out.

“I reckon he would start crying” Penelope giggled.

“God I hope so.” you huffed out, running your hands through your hair before a small smile made way onto your lips as you looked up at the blonde women. The last thing you expected was to get along so quickly with the girl. You had expected it to be awkward between the two of you, but it wasn’t. You two spent hours watching silly chick-flics and laughing, before this conversation even started.

“Thank you- by the way. For this” you mumbled, referring to her just being there. She didn’t have to. She didn’t know you, she didn’t owe you anything, she was Spencer’s friend, not yours.

Penelope grinned widely, “Don’t thank me. I love boy genius but he can be such a tool sometimes without even realising it. He fucked up and you need somebody, plus who else would make sugar cookies with me?” She teased.

You curled up by Penelope’s side, smiling at her gently. You really were grateful. “Speaking of sugar cookies, do you think we could frost them yet?”

[thegraininessofitall]

[monicahar]

“my wife.”

how they address you. why does it make your heart skip a beat each time?

characters; neuvillette, wriothesley

—female pronouns obvi, aaaa this is so random😭 fluff, tad bit of crack, has suggestive themes/dirty jokes cause that's my humor in general, just tryna get into writing again heehaa don't mind me ʘ⁠‿⁠ʘ

NEUVILETTE always accompanies the term with unmatched affection. it rolls off his tongue perfectly like a match made in heaven, coupled with the serene image of you instantaneously appearing in his mind before he even thinks of the uttering the endearing term. he still finds it surreal that you are both even lawfully married, yet the way he calls you his wife is already on instinct. is it too presumptuous of him?

well, in the end, he can't find any means to worry about it when you seem to equally adore the nickname.

“ooohh, say it again, say it again!”

he can't tell whether he married a child or not, but he still obliges your request and calls you his wife affectionately once more.

meanwhile, furina nearly gags everytime she hears him say it so softly—like using any other tone when referring to you would land him in the hands of the fortress of meropide. sure—she might've been the one who set up both of you—but the drama and thrill akin to watching a romance film has delightfully ended, and she can only meddle so much in marital matters. the iudex just might actually have her head in a platter if she were to do anything mischievous at that point.

but while a happy neuvillette is running around announcing 'my wife' this and 'my wife' that, you are currently stuck on what to call him in return, sadly enough.

“at this point, i think i'm just going to call you daddy.”

it was unfortunate with the way he choked on some of the water he was drinking—well, thank goodness he didn't spill much as before. for this wasn't the first time you said something unprompted while he was in peace with his water—he can only internally sigh.

“and what exactly has influenced you to arrive at such a conclusion, my wife?” he does not miss the tiny shudder of your body that followed the endearment. your face burns a tad bit at that, and he softly chuckles.

“your effect on me is no joke, you know?” you pout at his amused smile, “the way you refer to me so sweetly makes me want to call you my dearest husband everytime.”

“i don't recall voicing any complaints. is something else holding you back from doing so?”

you nod solemnly in agreement at that, which prompts him to raise a brow in mild curiousity.

“thing is, i really like calling you by your first name. same with monsieur neuvilette. there's something mildly erotic within it—you get what i mean, hehehe...” he only stares at you, clearly unimpressed, and a bit concerned at the implication. you clear your throat, apologizing under your breath.

“still—it's such a devastating predicament to be unable to choose between the three.” you sigh defeatedly, moving to slump your entire weight on his lap. you mutter, “my dearest husband monsieur neuvillette...mmm, no, that's too long.”

chuckling at your dramatic antics, he plants a soothing hand on your waist, the other fixing your wrinkled clothing as you practically melt against his hold. “and you thought settling on daddy was the appropriate option?”

“i'm not hearing any objections.” you jest, feeling cheeky.

“please refrain from calling me such a thing in the eyes of the public atleast.”

“...huh? you're actually allowing it??”

WRIOTHESLEY on the other hand, says it as if he's flaunting. it leaves his lips like a taunt each time, indirectly telling the other party 'i have a hot wife and you dont' even though most of the time the people he mentions you to don't even know what you actually look like. it's silly, childish even, but you still love it nonetheless.

sigewinne and the other inmates have collectively told you that ever since you got married, he has never uttered your actual name to anyone else. some find it weird, some find it somehow disrespectful, and some are now convinced he's crazily obsessed with you, and now he's showing it off every chance he gets, much to everyone's dismay.

it's arrived to the point where a small percentage of people have actually forgotten about your name, and now refer to you as the duke's wife, or even duchess, to which you made a face at. that's kind of pushing it by then.

anywho, in the end, it's funny and endearing, maybe even makes you a bit giddy, but there is no way you're telling him that. the situation might escalate even more if possible.

“you know, my wife is very mean to me today.”

as a pair of strong yet gentle arms wrap around your waist, you resist the growing smile on your face, deciding to mess with your husband for a bit.

“is that so?” you continue your chores without a care in the world. he huffs.

“mhm. she won't look me in the eye the whole day, even though she seemed sooo happy last night.” face instantly burning, you hiss as you slap his arm in a fit of embarrassment, pulling a hearty chuckle from the man behind you.

“—and now she's hitting me as well. i can't believe this.” you both know very well he was not fazed in the slightest bit.

“if her husband wasn't such a pervert then maybe—”

his facade cracks as he forces out an awkward laugh, “hey now, baby, you know i'm nothing like that.”

“wriothesley.”

he clears his throat awkwardly, “okay, maybe a little. it's exclusive for you though! my wife doesn't have to be so mean about it, you're making me reallyyy sad here, y'know?”

there it is again, you think. that nickname. that damned word that makes you want to turn around and smash your lips against his and—wait, hold yourself together! don't forget the reason you're being cold to him!

“you deserve to feel remorse. i've been struggling to even move the whole day because of you.”

you go rigid.

you didn't mean for that to come out so bitter...oh no.

“oh. so that's what this is about.” you don't even have to turn around to know that there's a smug look on his stupidly handsome face, his grip on your waist turning into soothing circles as he presses a kiss to your neck.

“if my wife wanted a massage, she could've just said so.” it's husky when it leaves his mouth, leaving you to shiver with the chills he enunciates.

flustered, you completely disregard the way your knees buckle at the endearment laced with that low voice of his, hitting his arm once more, earning a tiny 'ouch' from him.

“pervert. i want rest, not another round!”

“heh, i didn't say anything about another round, my perverted wife.”

“you—” you are abrupt cut off as you yelp in surprise when your feet are raised off the ground, your face now much closer to your husband's as he carries you gently in his arms.

“shhh, just let me take you to bed. if my wife was feeling terrible the whole day, she should've just told me in the first place so she could stay in, don't you think?”

he's right, but you're still angry. “shut up.”

“just letting you know i'm not completely at fault, wife.” you attempt to ignore the furious beating of your heart, face burning at his smug expression. “i'm not the only one who wanted it.”

hsr version...? if i feel like it...🤔🤔

[fivelilas]

What Aidan said on Patreon about fivelila and the program:

●fivelila

X: Aidan, What was the most difficult scene for you to film in season 4?👀

Aidan:

I think the kiss...it was hard to make it real. I really had to let go of myself and be Five. It's really not easy to give a kiss and make it real. There's a lot of the relationship with Lila that we filmed but they cut it. It took weeks to film it and they used a few minutes in a montage. That wasn't right. It also made it very hard for viewers to believe when we spent weeks filming scenes to set up that scenario Ritu and I were there for weeks before someone else came to Canada to film our secret scenes first

There are also articles online that are not true. For example, David never had any problem with the romance between Lila and Five. Neither did Ritu. That's completely made up to attract clicks.

● umbrella academy

X: What was the most difficult thing for you recording the last season

Aidan:

Knowing it was the end

We also didn't know how it would end. Steve always hides the last script until the very end.

Steve basically wrote what he wanted and we were paid to do it.

No cast member has a vote on anything.

I would change it back to the original 10 episodes that Steve wrote.

When Netflix told him to cut it down to 6 episodes and remove all the expensive scenes, I'm sure that hurt the season a lot. It's like reading a well written story that has everything you ever wanted to explain about the show.

I mean, I understand that the show was no longer profitable, so it was a business decision.

We were lucky to be able to get a fourth season; it was actually a gift from Netflix to the fans because they didn't make any money on it

Actually, you should thank them for season 4. Any other network would have just cancelled the show. I heard they tried for years to fix the deal with UCP to make it profitable to move forward and UCP didn't do it.

OK, so UCP owns the show and struck a deal with Netflix to distribute it on their network. But with each season, the show cost Netflix more and more money from UCP. By season 4, it was no longer profitable

Anyway, I'm glad they made UA. It almost never got made. For years it was going to be a movie

[retroellie]

Dating Spencer Reid

Summary: What dating spencer Reid is like

A/N: I wrote this super-fast because I know I haven't really been active... so I wanted to write something quick for y'all! I miss y'all and I hope y'all enjoy!

Warnings: Some NSFW moments

Word count: 1.5K

-Spencer grew up on Victorian romance novels and old valentines' poems, so he was quite the hopeless romantic

-When Spencer wasn't solving theories and getting PHDs, he was dreaming of a beautiful romance. Basically, what I'm trying to say is that he isn't the most confident boyfriend, but he makes up for it in his own way!

-Y'alls first date was something straight out of a movie! I mean it was a bouquet of flowers, an expensive dinner followed by a movie theater that played only old 50's films.

-It was the kind of date that had you falling in love with him first thing, knowing that this boy was the person you see yourself coming home to every night.

-After the date, Spencer offered you his jacket and walked you home. It was a chilly night, the streets lit up from the moonlight. He rambled on and on about the movie, but you couldn't even focus on what he was saying because you were too distracted by him.

-What you fell more in love with was the fact he didn't expect you to even kiss him!

-He was more than okay to say your "goodbyes" and "see you later" than leave.... but you gave him a soft peck before heading into your apartment. Even throughout the darkness you could see his blush.

-Anyways, that date led to a beautiful love story between y'all

-Spencer was a romantic even in the littlest of ways, like sending flowers to your work randomly or leaving you small poems in your fridge before he leaves so it feels as though he never really leaves.

-Spencer would always make sure to call you every night when he was away for work... I mean EVERY night.

-"Spencer honey it's 3am here..."

-"I know! But I just wanted to call you, should I call back in the morning?"

-"No, I'm already up and well I miss hearing your voice anyways." You laughed softly.

-The start of your relationship was so innocent, there was no sex or jealousy... it was just so simple and romantic

-There was lots of making out though, something that surprisingly Spencer was the one to initiate every time.

-There were just lots of times when you two would be discussing a book that Spencer probably recommended to you, then all of a sudden, his tongue would be down your throat.

-He was getting used to hugs and the touching, but kissing was something that felt so natural when he did it with you.

-Speaking of books! He had a list of books he recommended to you, like books that you never thought you'd read but you're glad you did yk?

-You would finish a book in one sitting and call him immediately to talk about it

-In turn though, you would bring him into the modern era and show him newer movies and music. Most of the stuff he did not like, but he pretended to like it to be nice.

-The first couple of months of your relationship, the team had no idea you existed. They started to notice spencer being in a lot better mood, but nothing too alarming.

-However, Derek Morgan is a lady killer... so he caught on a lot faster than the others.

-Like one time, the whole team was going out for drinks and Spencer said he had plans... Derek caught him in a lie real fast

-"So, who's the lucky lady?"

-"What?"

-"Pretty boy...I don't need to be a profiler to figure out why your suddenly so "busy.""

-Because of Morgan prying, Spencer decided to invite you out with the team one night.

-The team was all pretty nice, but very confused on why someone like you would want someone like spencer?? You two were completely different from each other... like night and day damn near

-Besides your differences, the team fell in love with you probably harder than Spencer did. I mean Penelope basically adopted you by the end of the night... she did however do her background checking before meeting you, but we don't gotta talk about that.

-The meeting of the team made the relationship real, like now you had become a part of their small family, and they trusted you enough to take care of spencer

-Spencer also felt this was a huge step, like now that his family accepted you, he was going to spend the rest of his life with you

-Spencer would always bring you up when he got the chance now, putting a framed picture of you and him on his desk just so people would ask about you.

-"Oh, who's this?" Someone would ask.

-"That's my girlfriend, Y/N. We've been dating for 11 months, 2 weeks, and 4 days. She's a (profession) and she smells like lavender."

-Like girl, all they asked was who you were... not every detail of your existence.

-But now that you guys are now officially dating, and everyone knows it... there's some newfound jealousy

-Spencer knew that you were attractive, but sometimes he forgets that you are also attractive to others as well

-Sometimes when you come into the FBI office, he sees other men staring you down... probably wondering how a nerdy boy like him could get someone like you.

-Spencer getting jealous is quiet and polite. He doesn't get angry or upset, we all know he does not do good with emotions. So, he'll just keep his distance from you, accepting the fact that you could leave him at any moment and not wanting to feel the effects of it.

-He will go silent for days if you didn't ask him about it, not even sure what he was feeling but knew he didn't like it.

-"Just didn't like how he was looking at you... made me feel weird."

-"You're jealous?"

-"I guess... I don't know."

-You just laughed it off, telling him how you would never choose anyone over him even if there was a gun to your head.

-Spencer also remembers everything about everything so... he picks up on your favorite things and your little quirks, plus he never forgets an anniversary!

-Derek bullies the shit out of him, like omfg

-he'll always call you his mommy and make kissing sounds when you call him, loud enough for the entire office to hear.

-"Muah muah muah... Oh Y/N!!" Derek yells, making sure you heard him.

-"So let me guess... Dereks with you?"

-"How'd you know?"

-He actually doesn't use too many pet names, but you definitely do lmao. His name is literally "Spenice poo <3" on your phone.

-Eventually, Spencer asks you to move in with him and omfg!!! You are so excited, like jumping up and down excitedly.

-I feel like spencer would be so domestic too omfg

-He would play music while cleaning the house, but it would all be like Mozart and classical music. You would always grab him by the waist and start dancing with him, you both looked so stupid but at least it was together.

-He would ramble to you all the time and you were probably the only person in the world that would let him, honestly you enjoyed it too.

-Like you had just gotten out of the shower, Spencer barged in and started talking about a case. He sat on the toilet seat while you did your skin care, just rambling on and on about how sick this person was.

-Yours and Spencer's different aesthetics clashed a lot in the house, like Spencer's apartment was slowly being taken over by you and your stuff... but he didn't mind.

-Since you guys have decided to take your relationship to another big step... Spencer decided he wanted you to pop his cherry.

-Spencer wasn't too experienced and he's never really had sex before. He's done stuff with someone, but never the actual act of it.

-He wanted to do it way before, but he thought it would complicate everything and honestly, he wasn't completely ready for it yet.

-You made sure it was the perfect night, you had it planned out. You took him on a picnic, watching the sunset as you loosened him up a little bit, making sure he was comfortable before setting yourself down on his lap.

-You were so soft with him; I mean you were afraid you might break him. He had to beg for you at one point because you weren't going fast enough.

-The next morning, he had to go into work, something about him was different... his confidence boosted a bit. Derek could sense it from a mile away, making sure Spencer knew that he knew.

-The popping of his cherry had created something inside spencer, he found his favorite thing to do, and he wanted it at all times

-You obviously were glad to give him whatever his little heart desired, so you let him fuck you anytime he wanted. Sometimes it even got a little filthy... something you would have never guessed about spencer.

-My bad I got sidetracked... but spencer was also way touchier with you

-Spencer was never really touchy in public, but now it's all he ever did. If you were in the room with him, then his attention would be completely on you.

-He really just felt so safe with you, knowing that you gave him not only your body but also your mind... he just wanted you, period. 

[cheolism]

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ GREED

✧ hoshi x f!reader ✧ summary: you go to bed feeling horny and decide to try and be quiet while you fuck yourself with your fingers while watching a video of soonyoung. too bad you're not as quiet as you think you are. ✧ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

✧ warnings: mean!dom!hoshi x sub!reader. messy sex, masturbation while he sleeps next to you, he films his own porn videos for you <3 true romance <3 pussy n tit slapping, spanking, rough handling. degradation (slut/whore), reprimanding. possibly free use, dumbification, cock-drunk reader, crying during sex n dacryphilia, spitting, missionary and doggy. cumming inside, unprotected sex. aftercare and cuddling!!

tagging @the-boy-meets-evil and @shuadotcom ; tag list: @coffeestay @tinkerbell460 @hyneyedfiz @wonuhour @sweet-like-caramel

with a groan you pushed the covers off of you, baring your skin to the cool air of your bedroom. soonyoung was quiet next to you, pillow in his arms. usually his soft snores helped guide you into sleep, helped your body ooze into slumber, but tonight seemed to be the exception. despite his snores, despite how the moon was high in the sky, you just couldn't sleep.

you were restless. despite how night blanketed the city, your body was wide awake and with no signs of sleeping.

soonyoung shifted next to you. you moved onto your side, watching as your boyfriend jostled the pillow in his arms. he moved to hold the pillow in one arm, his other reaching up towards the wall. he stretched, a low groan leaving his lips, and then he was still once more.

you let your eyes roam over him. soonyoung didn't wear clothes to bed -- tried to encourage you to do the same, saying that nothing made him more comfy than the feel of your skin against his. and because of his tendency towards sleeping in the nude and his stretching only moments prior, his lithe body was on full display for your eyes, the blanket having fallen to his waist.

though, you reflected, soonyoung wasn't exactly lithe anymore. his arms were thick with muscle and only growing by the day, veins on his forearms so delicious took look at. and his tits were growing more and more noticeable too, so much so that when he wore loose shirts they clung to his tits, to the shape of them, drawing your eyes and making it hard to look away.

and of course there were his abs. you weren't a shallow person, usually -- didn't drool over random men and their six packs, didn't get wet panties just from watching a man wash dishes.

but soonyoung? he was truly the exception.

just looking at his chest, watching his abs move up and down with each breath, eyes flickering over his tanned skin and taking in how the shadows of the room painted them even more prominently than they usually were, you couldn't help but feel wetness begin to stain your panties.

and just as visible as his abs and tits and face was his cock. it was flaccid, but even then soft his cock was thick and pretty. and his thighs, just as pretty as the rest of him with, thick muscle and your favorite seat to rest on.

god -- here your boyfriend was just sleeping and you were getting wet over his body. what did that say about you, you thought, hands drifting down to your sleeping shorts. what did that say about you, getting horny over your boyfriend while all he did was lay there and snore.

you cursed softly, and then you turned on the bed. you grabbed your phone and earbuds off of the nightstand. quickly you shoved your earbuds into your ears, unlocking your phone and going to that secret shared folder between you and soonyoung.

you went to a favorite one he had sent. his phone was propped up on a counter, pants shoved down underneath his dick and chest bare. his voice, deep and sly, filled your ears. "miss you, baby. gotta do what i do, okay? be a good girl for me and follow along."

if soonyoung asked for your obedience, even if it was past-him, you would give it. you adjusted yourself, fingers framing your clit. two of his own hands went to his dick, thick and dark; his thumb and forefinger focused on his head, softly rubbing, gently torturing himself.

you followed along. your forefinger and middle finger delicately dragged along the sides of your clit. as his fingers quickened, so did yours; as his cock leaked, your cunt followed suit, though your pussy leaked considerably more than his cock. soon enough, though you couldn't hear it due to your earbuds, your cunt was squelching with every move of your hand.

"fucking miss you," he growled, sucking his lower lip into his mouth for a moment. his dark bangs hung over his eyes as soonyoung bowed his head, thumb meanly pressing down on the slit of his cockhead. you followed suit, harshly thumbing at your clit in rapid movements.

"want your cunt so bad," he grumbled, one of his hands bracing against the counter. his veins in his arm bulged, thin hills running up his arms. "wanna fuck you so hard, fuck your sweet little puss -- fill you with my spunk, make sure you take every single fucking drop."

you swallowed, eyes zeroing in on his cock, knowing what would happen next, having seen it perhaps a hundred times before. he would keep his face low; his mouth would pucker. he would spit on his cock, saliva dropping and covering his tip. soonyoung would laugh, hand smearing over his dick. "wish it was your cunt covered in my spit and spunk instead of my dick."

but before any of that could happen -- before you were blessed with that image -- your phone was ripped from your hands.

you gasped, eyes shooting to soonyoung. he was moving against you before you could fully comprehend that he was awake.

"soonie --"

"what are you doing?" he demanded, voice deep from sleep. it did nothing to help the dampness in your underwear -- nothing could. your heart leapt and thudded with excitement as your boyfriend took your earbuds out and threw them onto the bedside table, his hands rough and quick.

originally you had just wanted to reach an orgasm so you could sleep, you thought; but this was a much better outcome.

his hands yanked down your shorts, and then they were being thrown across the room. next went your panties, discarded onto the bed. soonyoung's hands went to your top and then he was yanking that too, though he just shoved it up above your tits so he could palm at them.

"fucking yourself while your boyfriend sleeps," soonyoung answered his own question in a growl, thumbs pinching your nipples meanly. you whimpered softly. "oh -- don't try and be pathetic now," he snapped, "not after i've caught you."

soonyoung released your tits with another mean pinch, moving down your body. he shoved your thighs up, and then his hand was slapping on your cunt. you cried out, toes curling, followed by another heavy slap. soonyoung hooked his finger into your hole, pumping quickly.

"fuckin' greedy," he spat. soonyoung's dark eyes were narrowed, glinting with dangerous and delight. he was happy to have found you in such a situation, happy to have an excuse to be mean. and, despite having originally planned on letting him sleep, you couldn't help but be thrilled at the realization of the bullying he was about to put you through.

soonyoung slid his finger from your cunt and delivered another slap. the sharp sting shot sparks of pleasure and pain through your spine, toes curling and mouth dropping wide.

soonyoung shoved two of his fingers into your hole, rough and fucking up into you. every single pump was joined by the horridly wet squelching noise of your cunt, your cunt leaking so much that you could feel your juices slide down your rear and onto the bed.

he moved his free hand back to your tit. soonyoung pinched it again, your responding whine loud. he punished your whine with a sharp slap to the underside of your tit. "fucking desperate little whore. fucking yourself in our bed like a goddamn slut desperate for a cock. is that it, baby? you a fucking slut?"

you bit down on your lip, eyes watering at the edges from the roughness of his touch and the sharpness of his words. you loved it. "'m a slut, soonie, 'm sorry --"

soonyoung growled, and then he was slapping your cunt again. you cried out, thrashing in his hold, the pleasure-pain igniting every single one of your nerves on fire. he began to thrust three of his fat fingers into your pussy, the dull slapping sound of his hand as he fucked his fingers into you filled the air; coupled with the noises from your wet cunt your room was filled with obscene, sinful noises.

"you're not fucking sorry," he hissed. soonyoung's dark eyes were narrowed, their usual bright spark gone. instead he was a predator and you were the prey that wandered right into his trap; the tiger and the mouse that walked right into his paws.

"only sorry you got caught," soonyoung grumbled. he grabbed at your tit again, massaging it roughly, watching as your flesh molded around his fingers.

"i'm sorry --"

"no you're fucking not," soonyoung shot back, voice doused in poison. "fucking your little cunt when i'm sleeping right next to you. un-fucking-believable. can't fucking believe --"

soonyoung ripped his hand from your cunt. you let out a cry, trying to buck your hips back up to his hand. he laughed meanly, and then he was slapping your thigh. "eager little slut," he said. soonyoung was smiling, white teeth glinting in the moonlight. "just wanted something in your little cunt, yeah? just were so goddamn desperate --"

"wanted you," you sobbed, trying to reach for him. soonyoung pushed you back onto the bed, his hand pressing down on your shoulder and keeping you still. his arm flexed as you strained against him, and you couldn't help but watch as his muscles bounced, veins popping.

soonyoung moved to grab your hips. you immediately opened your thighs wide, letting him press against you. he lifted your lower half, fingers digging into your thighs. "opening your legs like a little whore in heat," he said, tilting his head, smirking. "that it, baby? you my little whore in heat, desperate for my dick?"

your eyes widened, all air leaving your lungs. soonyoung was still for a moment, just watching you, gauging your reaction to his words. but then you whined, high and needy, legs tightening around him, feeling nothing but arousal and thrill. "wanted you, soonie, wanted you so bad --"

"so you decided to fuck yourself in the bed next to me?" he asked, raising his brows. soonyoung released his grip on one of your thighs to run his hand along your cunt. the slide had you groaning, lashes fluttering and hips trying to seek out more friction. instead soonyoung moved his hand to your stomach; there he spread your slick over your skin.

"look at how fucking wet you are," he laughed. "fucking whore. so goddamn wet from just a fucking video."

then his sharp eyes snapped up at your face. your cunt clenched in response to his dark look. he used his free hand to grab his dick. soonyoung slapped the tip of his cock, a little spurt of precum shooting out in answer to his tease.

he moved forward, the tip of his dick rubbing against your pussy lips. you moaned, and then you were moving your hips, seeking more friction, trying to get his cock to slip in to where you needed it most.

"dunno if i should give it to you," he taunted, tongue poking out. his eyes were on your cunt, watching as he dragged the tip of his cock through your cunt, soaking it in your juices. "what was it, baby? decided a fucking video and your cute little fingers were enough? didn't need me? didn't need my dick?"

"need it," you sobbed. and you did. you needed his dick in you, needed him to shove his cock inside of you and fuck you. it was all you wanted needed. you needed him, needed kwon soonyoung.

"needed you," you cried, water stinging at the corners of your eyes. "needed you so bad, soonie. wanted your cock -- so so bad! didn't want to wake you, didn't want to -- soonie --"

and then you bursted into tears. you weren't sad, weren't crying from anything bad. you were just so desperate. you wanted soonyoung, you wanted him, you wanted, you wanted, you wanted.

soonyoung sighed, and then he was fucking his cock into you.

a loud cry escaped your mouth, and you arched your back up into him. soonyoung kept pressing, pushing his cock further and further. it stung, especially as his cock was so fat, fatter than even three of his fingers. but above that, above any pain that possibly could've come from it, you were wanton for it. you wanted it. you wanted his cock, wanted soonyoung's dick and any pain that might have come with it.

"take it," he urged, slapping your thigh. "take my cock, baby. gotta take it all. you were so desperate for it, yeah? wanted it so bad? wanted it so bad you were gonna cry like a little fucking slut. so now you gotta take it."

"want it," you gasped. you let your mouth hang wide open, brows knit in pleasure from the sting of his cock forcing your walls to accommodate him. wetness dribbled from your mouth, though you didn't quite realizing you were drooling. "soonie!"

"fuck," he hissed, and then he was bottoming out, his pelvis pressing against your ass. soonyoung's eyes were trained on your pussy, watching as your hole fluttered around his dick. "fuck, baby."

and then soonyoung was pulling out. the drag of his cock against your pussy walls had you keening, thighs tightening around his hips. it felt good, felt delicious. it was all you wanted and more, it was as if his cock inside of you was the missing piece to the universe, as if only now that his dick was in your gummy walls could the planets align and harmony be achieved.

(future you would cringe at the dramatics of cock-drunk you, but really; you were kwon soonyoung's girlfriend. it was a requirement for you to be somewhat dramatic.)

"fuck me," you begged, using your legs to try and force him to fuck back into you. "fuck me, soonie, fuck me."

he laughed, hands tight on your hips. as he spoke his grip continued to flex, as if the only thing keeping him somewhat composed was your body in his hands. "fucking desperate for me, aren't you? desperate for whatever i give you."

you blinked rapidly, lashes wet from your tears. "whatever you want," you echoed, excited at just the thought of him and his dick. "whatever you want, soonie."

soonyoung grinned. he grabbed your thighs and forced them to your chest. soonyoung used the new position to grab your jaw, and then he was spitting into your mouth.

"swallow," he commanded, smirking still. "want whatever i'll give? swallow my fucking spit."

you did as he said, mindless. soonyoung, delighted, wedged his thumb into your mouth and kept it open so he could spit again. you could feel his saliva hit your tongue, little droplets of spittle hitting your lips.

"swallow."

you did as he said, licking your lips after doing so.

soonyoung laughed, and then he was pressing his mouth to yours. you gasped, hands scrambling along his shoulders. soonyoung didn't kiss you as much as he fucked your mouth. his tongue slid in and out, shoving more of his saliva into your mouth, claiming even this part of you as his own.

then he snapped his hips into your cunt, sheathing his dick in one movement. you cried out, teeth nipping at his mouth on accident.

soonyoung pulled away, using one of his hands to wipe at his mouth. he then wiped the spit and drool from your kiss onto your shoulder. "gonna fuck your cute cunt so good," he said.

soonyoung went to his knees, keeping his pelvis pressed to your ass. he gripped your thighs and, using them as anchors, began to fuck you. soonyoung's hips slapped against you harshly, the sharp drive of his fucking making the skin where his hips met your ass sting, though this was drowned out by the pure ecstasy of his cock striking deep within you.

"take it," he growled, pushing your thighs to your chest, eyes dancing over your figure. "take my fat cock in your tight little cunt, fucking take it, take it all."

"please," you sobbed, wanting nothing more than to do as he says, "please --"

"begging so prettily," he continued, mouth just as fast as his hips. soonyoung fucked you urgently, desperately. it appeared, on the surface, as though he was just after his pleasure, uncaring if you found any. but he kept adjusting your thighs and ass, searching for that one gummy spot in your cunt that would bring you pleasure.

then, with a harsh fuck into your pussy, he found it.

you shouted out, hands shooting out and grabbing at him. one of your hands found his hair and gripped it tight.

soonyoung shot you a sharp look. and then he was grabbing your hand and forcing it to the bed, keeping you from touching him. "i said to fucking take it," he snapped. "fucking take my cock. you decided to fuck yourself in the bed, decided to go behind my back. now you gotta lay there and take it like a slut."

you sobbed, nodding. soonyoung moaned, hips stuttering for a moment. then he managed to control himself and resumed, cock slamming against your core in a rushed, harsh rhythm. "fucking pretty," soonyoung grunted. "so fucking pretty when you cry, fuck --"

soonyoung withdrew from your pussy, making a loud, horrible sob escape you. with quick, strong hands he was flipping your body over. your hair fell into your face as he shoved your shoulders down to the bed, his other arm looping around your middle and wrenching your ass up.

he swiftly entered your pussy once more, impaling you on his dick in one swift move. you cried out, hands fisting the sheets. your cries were somewhat muffled from the bed, lips pressed against the sheets.

"fuck," he hissed, his hands moving to your hips and gripping you. soonyoung fucked you with earnest, using his strength to bring your cunt back onto his dick again and again. "fuck --"

you cried, mouth wide open from pleasure. he was reaching so deep inside of you, dick reaching so fucking deep inside that you swore you could feel it in your throat. you felt like you truly could -- he was filling your senses, from his dick to his hands to his voice, and you felt like you were drowning in kwon soonyoung.

"good girl," he growled, shifting. "am i making you feel good? huh? your soonie's dick making your little pussy feel good?"

you sobbed out an answer. your face was just as wet as your cunt, though soaked with your tears and drool. you tried to speak but all that came out was a moan, muffled by the bed.

soonyoung's hand left your hip, and then he was grabbing your hair. he forced your face from the bed, a loud gasp tearing from your throat at his roughness. "fucking speak," he demanded, hand leaving your hair to slap at your hip. "told you to fucking talk, princess. think you're too good to talk while i'm fucking your pussy?"

"no," you said sobbed. "no -- just -- soonie --"

"what? fucking you so good you can't speak?" he laughed meanly, slapping your ass. "use your words like a good girl. be a good girl, baby."

it took a moment to gather yourself, trying to get your brain to flick back online. it wasn't like soonyoung helped, either. he continued to fuck you, balls slapping against your ass.

finally you managed something. your words came out in a slop. "good," you moaned, "fucking me sooo good!"

"fuck yes i am," he taunted, draping himself along your back. the change in angle had you squealing, driving your hips back and forcing his cock further. soonyoung let out a strangled groan, nails digging into your skin. "fuck -- baby --"

you fucked back again, eyes furrowing from how delicious it felt. soonyoung moved his hand to your cunt. he slapped over your clit once, and then he was hurriedly grinding his fingers around it, sending your body into overdrive from all the pleasure he was inflicting on you.

"such a good girl," soonyoung breathed, thrusts turning quick and short as he neared his peak. he refused to cum before you, however, and so he focused on your clit more than he did thrusting. "my good girl, yeah? my good girl, my baby."

"yours," you whined, and then he was slapping your cunt once more, sending you into orgasm.

it was loud, your orgasm. it rushed your body like a wave intent on drowning you, roaring in your ears and forcing your eyes shut. you couldn't even move, fingers and toes splaying out, limbs stretching. soonyoung didn't let you go far, forcing you still to fuck into you a handful of more times before he, too, reached his peak.

if your brain had gone offline from soonyoung fucking you, it was now floating in space from your orgasm. you weren't even on this plane of existence, your body reaching heaven.

when you returned, your brain deciding to reinhabit your body once more, you were on your side. soonyoung was pressed against your back, his arm thrown over your waist, keeping you close. both of you were covered in sweat and you could feel the mess between your thighs.

you let out a weak moan, and then soonyoung was rising from behind you. he smoothed your hair back from your face. he was just as sweaty as you, his bangs stuck to his forehead, face red from exertion. despite it all, despite how exhausted the fucking let him, despite how he had spewed such filth what seemed like only moments before, soonyoung gave you a bright smile, eyes crinkling.

"hey baby," he cooed, hand cradling your cheek. soonyoung ducked down and pressed a chaste kiss to your mouth. "how you doing?"

you groaned again, trying to work your sore throat. "good. tired."

soonyoung hummed, pouting down at you. "my baby's throat is sore, isn't it? let me get you a water."

you braced himself to retreat from you, to get up and leave the room to fetch you fresh water. instead your boyfriend stretched over your body, reaching onto the nightstand to grab your cup of water.

he guided you into a sitting position. "here you go, baby."

you blinked at him. "soonyoung," you croaked, "it's old water."

soonyoung pouted, sticking out his lip and making his eyes sad. "don't wanna leave you to get new water," he whined, pressing close. he moved his hand to cup your neck, raising the water cup to your mouth. "c'mon, baby. it's as good as any."

you took a sip but immediately pulled away, making a face. "soonie, i'll just go and get --"

"no!" he shrieked, hurriedly putting your water back on the nightstand. soonyoung pushed you back down onto the bed, and, despite how sweaty you were and your body was drenched in fluids from every end, soonyoung laid down on top of you. he pressed quick kisses to your face.

"no moving," he whined. "cuddles only."

you sighed, eyes sliding shut as his kisses neared your eyes. "we'll have to shower, soonyoung," you said, already feeling discomfort from where your cum and his cum was beginning to stick your thighs together. "we're all sticky and nasty --"

"can't we just cuddle and sleep?" he begged. you threw him a glare, not willing to sleep in a puddle of cum. soonyoung sighed, loud and exaggerated, and then he was lowering himself back onto your body, arms wrapping around your waist and pressing his face into your neck.

"just five more minutes," he whined, nose gently poking against your neck. "please?"

you were quiet for a moment. soonyoung hummed happily, thinking he won the spat. but then, projecting your voice, you called out: "siri! set a timer for five minutes!"

"baby, nooooo!"

[chocolatetittymilk]

“I’m in love with you!” Series

Alhaitham x reader Summary — Alhaitham has never been one for social interactions - in fact, neither of you knew each other in the first place. His pride never allowed anyone to befriend him fully. Until you decide to confess your love to him bluntly one morning, ultimately changing his perspective about you. TW : angst-comfort, unrequited love, strangers to enemies to lovers, possible smut, aged-up characters word count : 2.9k

pt. 1 - "Excuse me?"

“I’m in love with you.”

“Excuse me?”

You both stood in the middle of a park, some corny shit out of some little kid romance film.

“I’m in love with you.”

Bags on the back of both of you, freshly out of class.

“This is what you dragged me out here for? Tch.”

He scoffs a little, almost like it’s a joke. The wrinkle in between his eyebrows was even more prominent. He’d never been one for jokes or wasting time. In fact, he hates wasting time. Even more so when it's people wasting his time.

But you don’t flinch, not a hint of hurt. Just a straight face while holding your books in your arms: like a fucking schoolgirl. (even if you technically are one)

He goes to open his mouth, reject you and move on with his day. Only, you interrupted him quickly, not a stutter or hitch.

“If you don’t feel the same way then I’ll be on my way.”

Not even batting an eye, you turn around swiftly and start walking away. No outburst, no crying, its dramatic flair to his annoyance. ‘Odd.’ That’s all that comes to mind when he watches you leave, not making any move to stop you.

See Alhaitham has always been popular among women; whether it be Valentine's Day or a rainy day, there was always someone wanting to confess their interest or feelings for the silver-haired man. Most of the time it ends with them raising their voices, crying and sobbing. Knowing that his interest in romantic aspects were, well, none.

But this was the first time someone didn't care slightly that someone, little to nothing himself, didn't return the feelings. Alhaitham turns some music on connecting it to his headphones, trying to shake whatever feeling came over him. Envy? Anger? This was one of the rare times Alhaitham had been consumed with something he didn't know logically to do with.

Meanwhile, you walked away not a care in the world. Your friends had hidden behind some trees aways away, trying to see some sort of drama or events take place. Especially with their all-nonchalant friend who didn't care for rejection or romance in the first place.

Coming up behind you, Dehya had a frown on her face. "You seriously didn't care one bit, did you?" It wasn't even a question, more of a statement. Observing your straight face, you raised an eyebrow.

You had asked Alhaitham after a class to meet up with him in the park to discuss something. It went fairly smoothly; he didn't even ask what about. You had thought he probably already had an idea about what it would be about. 'Always the cut-and-dry type.' you thought as you walked.

"Why would I care? What exactly would I care about?" You replied back, with no form of irritation or any negative emotion. 'Typical', Dehya had thought as Candace chose to speak up next, all of you walking towards home. Sun starting to set in the background.

"I mean, you liked him, didn't you?" She started to say, "It's okay to feel bad about it-"

"But I don't. Life goes on, nothing changes. In fact, I'm glad he didn't waste my time with idle chit-chat about, "when" or "how" I ended up liking him. It's so exhausting." You interrupted her, ranting about how it's not that important. Dehya just rolled her eyes, Candace trying to smile slightly at the both of you.

"That's a smart way of thinking about it but... I mean... It can be disappointing too."

You huff a little, eye twitching just a little. 'How irritating.'

"I love and appreciate you both for your concern and, uhm, support. But I do not need it, think of it all as a little experiment." You turned towards them, halting your steps. The three of you standing on the sidewalk, almost to your destination. "It failed and my hypothesis was incorrect. So, it's back to the drawing board." You smile slightly, walking up the steps of your home. Getting out your keys, Candace and Dehya look with a knowing look.

"Wasn't it you who even proposed the setting? Maybe he thought it was a joke since it was at a park..." Dehya offered an explanation, but even she didn't fully believe it.

"It was one of the better settings, it was secluded, away from prying eyes and away from earshot. Quiet and nothing to be distracted by. But maybe I should've chosen somewhere else." You finished, trying to think through all possible errors. "Either way it doesn't matter, what happened, happened. No use in fretting about it."

Dehya gave a grim look, "I didn't mean it like that..."

"It's okay. Plus, we're still studying, still young. I'm not expecting someone like him to be even hint in that direction with anyone. You know Alhaitham." You had a sly little smile on your face as you unlocked the door, glancing at the two girls.

Dehya laughs a little, "Oh we are very well aware... I honestly don't see how you had feelings for that iceman." Stepping inside your house as well with the two of you. Candace makes a face towards Dehya, knowing that it wasn't as polite as it could've been said.

You snorted a little as you got out leftovers. "Well, I took into account his demeanor but also his interests. He cuts to the chase, doesn't like idle-chit chatting, moving towards a career and goal-"

"I think we get the picture... Almost the male version of you." Candace replies cutting you off as Dehya tries not to laugh.

You roll your eyes and laugh a little, "Yeah yeah. So, are we watching a movie?"

"I'll make the popcorn-" Dehya starts to say.

"I call choosing the movie!" Candace says from the living room, already picking up the remote.

'This is all I need anyways.' you think with a smile on your face as you get out the snacks.

The next day was the same, at least both Alhaitham and you tried to go about it that way.

Attending classes, even the ones where the both of you shared. Going to lunch, where most of the time Alhaitham would be reading in a quiet space, teal eyes focused on the pages. Or you would be taking notes while sitting at a table with Candace or Dehya.

Barely a moment slipped passed your mind about him, and you to him.

It was almost like the confession had never happened; everything was in place as if it were untouched.

And, in all honesty, a week had passed with this routine. Each of you living your lives, studying hard to earn your degree. Alhaitham studied mathematics and science (and reading everything and anything in between) to be a scribe to Sumeru. While you studied biology and botany; trying to achieve a Naturopathic doctor of Sumeru for the head scribe. That is why both of you shared science classes in the first place.

Everything going smoothly until a shared class between the two of you. The professor had allowed the rest of the class to be used as studying or note taking; free to leave anytime in between.

"Hey, you're trying to become a doctor, aren't you?"

Alhaitham's ears picked up in the crowded lecture room.

"Yes, a Naturopathic doctor... if that makes any difference." You replied, still focusing on whatever last needed notes to write down. Kaveh sat down beside you, clearly interested in a conversation between the two of you.

'Always the annoying roach.' Alhaitham thought, knowing full well how Kaveh was. Being his roommate definitely had its perks, like constant groceries and good furniture. But that's about it, now that he thought about it.

The constant nagging, scoffs, and judgments from the blonde were the epitome of annoyance. Always, "You're always so cold" "Put away your books they're everywhere" and even "All you ever do is study, one drink won't hurt." The future architect didn't have any sense of routine, at least that's what Alhaitham believed. Except maybe the constant time at the bar for drinks after classes.

"Oh, what type of doctor is that?" Kaveh's eyes were full of curiosity as if he found his new thing to be obsessed with for a week.

"A healthcare professional who practices naturopathic medicine. Naturopathic medicine is an alternative medicine approach that emphasizes using natural medicine and a “whole person” approach to prevent, diagnose, and treat health conditions." You highlighted part of your notes, then shut your notebook, finally looking at the red eyes of the blonde.

"Basically, a doctor whose treatment and medication are plant or nature-based. No fake shit." You give a little fake smile and pack your things up, already slinging your bag on your back.

"You know, you seem pretty cool, wanna catch a drink together? I know this fantastic place, even the dishes are quite tasty-"

"I have studies I need to do, plus I already have some plans with a couple of friends of mine." You cut him off, trying to hurry off in the process. But Kaveh is one of the most stubborn people Alhaitham has ever met.

Alhaitham smirked a little at the rejection, hands pausing to listen. Of course, he wasn't truly trying to pry into the conversation, you both are just so loud. At least that's what he told himself. Trying to tune them out, he focuses back on his note-taking. Plugging his headphones into his ears, drifting off into his little world.

"That's okay! How about your friends and you come by - my friends also go there to get a drink so think of it like a big get-together." Kaveh tried to explain, hoping that his honest to God's idea would work.

You gritted your teeth, jaw clenching. It's not that social interaction was unattainable, but very much not wanted. It was hard enough trying to befriend Candace and Dehya years ago, little to nothing now. Walking out into the hallway towards outside, Kaveh still trails behind you, waiting for an answer.

"I don't know, my friends aren't really keen on big groups, so I'll have to ask them-" Suddenly Candace and Dehya are there waving at you to come closer. 'Looks like they were waiting for me to finish up...' you look a little surprised when Kaveh notices your look. "Are those your friends?" he asks, and without even waiting for your answer he walks up to them.

"Fuck." you mumble as you try to catch up and stop Kaveh from talking them into having a gathering together.

It's not that you didn't like Kaveh, in fact, you bet he's a very nice and kind guy... But you're not one for social events, nor making friends. They require a lot: opening up, spending time together, making time for them, and even dragging you into things you don't necessarily want to be a part of. And, as you watch the three of them talk, I guess this was one of those moments.

"Oh, we'd love to all hangout. In fact, we were all going to do that anyway." Candace smiles at Kaveh, accepting his invitation on behalf of quite literally the whole group. Dehya had a little cautiousness to her but still agreed anyway. Meanwhile. you tried your best to stay composed.

They exchanged words with each other and headed towards your home. 5 pm, that's the agreed time for the get-together. The girls and you had agreed to head back to your place to chill out (or, in your case, study) and then get ready to go.

"Do we really need to do all this unnecessary socializing? What if his friends are weird or perverts." You said, trying on some casual clothes. You knew it was unrealistic to think something of that, but you couldn't help but make excuses. Maybe if you put certain thoughts in their heads then you wouldn't have to endure this social gathering.

Candace is in the background fixing her makeup and Dehya watching from the sidelines. "It'll be finnnee, no need to worry we'll be in a public setting if anything happens." Candace tried comforting you, knowing full well how much you despised idle chitchat.

"Plus, there is our big strong guard dog that will protect us." She made a snide remark, looking towards Dehya who had her eyebrow raised.

You laugh, "Oh yes our big scary guard dog. How could I ever forget her." Candace and you bust out laughing, Dehya replying in an eye roll and sigh going out of the room and into the living room.

"Oh! I also invited Layla; she's been meaning to get out more so I thought this would be the perfect opportunity." Candace mentions as she finishes touching up her makeup.

Layla, always the quiet and tired woman who surprisingly hasn't died from lack of sleep. She's joined our group on the occasion, meeting her from Candace on one outing with them all. 'She's one of the only people I can tolerate for a long while.' You thought, thinking back on how Layla wasn't much of a talker. A commenter? Sure, but not out of any negative intentions, merely out of pure observation.

"Yeah, that's fine, I haven't spoken to her in a while." You concluded as you headed into the bathroom to change.

Oh, this was going to be an eventful night.

"Just go with us for once, it's not a big deal unless you make it one."

Kaveh stood in his and Alhaitham's living room, trying to convince the ever-so-monotone man to join in the fun for a night.

"And why would I waste time with pleasantries when I could be doing something much more productive." Alhaitham concluded, eyes never wavering from the pages of the book set in his hands.

Alhaitham hated wasting time, and what he believed in wasting time was quite a list. Social events, social gatherings, taking unnecessary amounts of notes, pleasantries, and idle chitchat. Oh and of course any and all romantic aspects. He just believed it was unnecessary, boring, time-consuming, and useless.

"And what is productive, Alhaitham? Reading all day? Making more of a mess?" Kaveh scoffed, truly not understanding why the man had no sense of respect for even his roommate.

"Do you need a list?" Alhaitham asked coyly, "I can give you one if you truly need one, Kaveh. Unless you're too busy drinking your sorrows away."

Kaveh just scoffed again, angrily grabbing his coat. "To think I wanted to introduce you to my new acquaintances." He stomped towards the door only to stop by the sound of Alhaitham's indifferent voice.

"And who in their right mind would agree to have a drink with you? I know Cyno and Tighnari are your usual, but besides that, I don't think anyone could tolerate ten minutes of your yapping."

Although, Alhaitham had truly meant what he said - Kaveh's non-stop talking had made a lot of people cut their visits short - part of him was wondering who was joining them. Wondering if it was you who had agreed.

Kaveh turned around sharply, "For your information, it was the girl in our class and her friends who were more than happy to join Cyno, Tighnari, and me. So, pull your delusions out of your ASS!" Kaveh said loudly and defensively, then turned around curtly and headed out of the door.

"The only delusions here are your life, dear Kaveh." Alhaitham muttered, wondering why you had accepted his invitation. 'Is she just interested in anyone?' he had wondered. 'Why does it matter, she's just a classmate.' Alhaitham had settled, yet part of him was curious about you.

Candance, Dehya and you had dropped by Layla's to accompany her to the bar. The four of you walked towards the bar, already spotting where Kaveh was waiting for you at the entrance. Nerves were a bit high already coming closer to the building, knowing you're not the best in social situations. Yet it wasn't as bad as you had thought previously.

'How sweet of him.' you had thought as he greeted each of you, opening the door and showing you to the table they already had.

The air was slightly stuffy due to the cooking and people gathered around, but ultimately it wasn't as loud as you thought it would be. The place was cozy, and the smell of mouth-watering food wafted through the air. 'Looks like Kaveh knows his places.'

Walking towards the table you spot a familiar face, "Tighnari, nice seeing you again." You had sat down next to him, offering him a small smile.

Tighnari smiled brightly at you, "Ah if it isn't the doctor in training! I wasn't expecting you to join us." He leaned in towards you looking at your face. "Did you grow your hair out a little? It's been a while."

Your ears turn a little red, embarrassed by his observation. You cleared your throat a little, "I haven't had time to get a haircut, studies are a necessity to-"

"-to success. Ah still saying the same thing I see." He finishes your sentence, smiling and shaking his head a little.

Tighnari had recently graduated from Amurta, specializing in biology, ecology, and medicine. Exactly what you wanted to study. The both of you knew each other from preliminaries, him registering for his last year in Amurta and you applying for your second year. Three years in total. One year difference. You both had bonded through the mutual interests in biology and medicine, Tighnari going as far as offering to mentor you if needed.

But you had your own things I suppose.

Then suddenly, a deep familiar voice spoke between the two of you.

"Proper care to oneself is also the path to success. Neglecting one's basic needs will only lower your chance of success." He pauses, slyness dripping from his voice, "Unless you're intentionally wanting to fail."

'This cocky piece of shit.'

pt.2 here | ''im in love with you!" m!list

2024 © chocolatetittymilk : do not repost or translate my works anywhere. do not copy or use my works in any site.

[thealogie]

picture this. you're michael sheen, beloved queer-friendly welsh actor and recent twilight saga vampire. you want your favorite book to become a tv show, and you want to be the lead. so what do you do? you befriend the author. he wines and dines you, you become a confidant in the scriptwriting phase. and in the process of the GO script you decide you don't want to be crowley, actually, you want to be aziraphale. you put in the work for months to influence the author to the same conclusion. so when neil gaiman comes to you one day saying, "i know you joined on to be crowley... but how would you feel about playing aziraphale?" you say, what a novel idea! i was feeling the same way, i just didn't want to say anything! let's do it.

you're michael sheen, the lead in the adaptation of your favorite book. you meet david tennant as your leading man, a rising star (and vocal fan of yours) you've had a few vague interactions with in the past. on set you immediately find the closest friend you have ever and will ever find in your life, and you know this. the romance you have in your (yes, your) show is ambiguous, but you're michael sheen. you think that romance needs to be explicit. so what do you do? you become a nightmare on set. you get really hands-on; you make costume choices, you make story decisions, you tell your author friend at the very end of filming: aziraphale is in love with crowley and realizes it in 1941. now go do it again.

so the author goes and does it again. you get a season 2. you get 1941 part 2. you're michael sheen, and you are the lead of the adaptation of your favorite book, and the romance you littered into the character you built from the ground up has become unambiguous. everything goes according to plan. but, you see, you have a problem: the author you have baby trapped is acting a FIEND on twitter and tumblr. he's saying everything he can to imply aziraphale and crowley aren't sexually attracted to each other. he's getting a bit too bold with his character assumptions, is all i'm saying. so here's what you're going to do: you play it up with your pal david tennant. you made a show with him during lockdown. you're going to depict your lives as even more intertwined and homoerotically codependent as previously possible. you grow even closer. your wives become best friends, too, because how could they not? this has been the plan since the beginning, too. your lockdown show ends. it wasn't enough.

so you, michael sheen, of course you put in the work. if david tennant's there, you're damn sure you're there physically, spiritually, biblically, in whatever capacity you can be. it's not hard. david tennant is a big fan of yours, after all, so he MAKES SURE you're always in the conversation. you have him wrapped around your little finger, this lovely little boy, and so you know what you do next? you become neighbors. you make your directorial debut casting your best friend's wife watching her husband and male neighbor initiate sex with each other. you play into the swinging rumors (that you, michael sheen, had started). you create a narrative that you and david tennant are two homoerotic besties, and is there more going on in the background there? any deeper conspiracy? who really knows, but what you do know is that the world is talking about it.

and you, michael sheen, your entire acting career has led to this moment, your gay quips, your oscar wilde sex scene (and the interviews following), all of your queer roles, EVERYTHING has brought us to this conclusion. you have created the lab perfect conditions where season 3 must have an explicit gay sex scene. i'm sorry neil, my hands are tied! the people are clamoring for me and david tennant to have sex-- i mean aziraphale and crowley to have sex, the public decided this all on their own! i really don't think you have much choice. but of course, i would never deign to tell an author how to practice his veritable craft. i concede to whatever version of series 3 you create, and i will happy to bring this beloved character to his deserved ending.

and why do you say this? because you're michael sheen. you're just an actor who incidentally stumbled his way into leading the queer romance adaptation of your favorite book that wasn't a romance, and you just read the script the way that it was given to you. and if series 3 means an explicit sex scene between you and your best friend david tennant, then what a lovely coincidence that you had absolutely no part in making happen. because what power do you really have?

This is my favorite book I’ve read so far this year. A rare occasion where the author pulls off use of the second person pov. I really felt like I was a beloved welsh actor crossed with Machiavelli when I read this

[whimsicalwritingsandmore]

Want You Back | ateez x reader

Pairing: werewolf!ot8!ateez x werewolf!reader

Genre: fluff mostly, romance, poly, a little angst?

Warnings: mention of being depressed

Word Count: 1537 words

a/n: hello! welcome to the first chapter of my new story! I hope you enjoy it, and I would love your feedback especially when it comes to structure and flow of the story. I'm still getting the hang of tumblr again, so if you'd like to be a part of a taglist, please leave a comment under this post! :)

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Chapter 1

How did it end up like this?

This question never left your mind as you stared out at the forest trees in your backyard from your balcony, arms folded with a blank facial expression as the cool wind blew by and the beautiful moon shone in all its brilliance and wonder over you. 

Luna meant moon. And it also meant the alpha female of the pack with your mate, this being determined by the Moon Goddess herself. Luckily for you, you had eight mates. Being a Luna meant one thing and one thing only. You were just a partner to your mate. You were to produce your mate or mates’ offspring and most of your education was dedicated to learning how to be a good mate. You never learnt anything outside of that.

And you hated it.

You loved your mates through and through. You loved the way Hongjoong would nestle into your arms and nuzzle into your neck when no one was watching, because he wasn't the biggest fan of public displays of affection. You were enamoured with Seonghwa - every time the both of you would cook meals together and his not so subtle way of making you blush. 

Yunho was the most endearing one you had met, he wasn't afraid to show his affection for you, and would grab and spin you around and then look you in the eyes with the warmest and sweetest smile as if you held the entire galaxy in your eyes. Meanwhile, Yeosang was the opposite, he was much more shy than Yunho but he never steered away from showing you how much you meant to him. The both of you would find a book to read together and would place yourselves in the little corner of his window with your head in his lap and him mindlessly playing with your hair while you both read for hours upon end. 

San loved adventures and sharing them with you. He would always take you with him wherever he went and together, you would create endless memories of the day and take endless pictures with an old film camera for your album. Mingi liked playing games so you two would play board games and sometimes even make up your own games which was a special thing just for the two of you. Only the two of you knew the rules. 

Like Seonghwa, Wooyoung loved to cook with you. He wouldn't shy away from giving you a big kiss on the cheek or lips and wouldn't hesitate to create a little chaos so you would chase him and he could scoop you up and kiss you again.

Jongho loved the little moments with you. When the two of you would just watch tv or even do laundry together. He liked just being with you. His favourite memory being the time you nearly fought an aunty at the laundromat for the basket and sat inside of it refusing to budge. He laughed endlessly that day as he watched you place yourself with your hair falling in front of your face and a determined look plastered.

These 8 boys meant the world to you. But with time comes growing up and growing up means taking up responsibility. They were in charge of leading the pack, taking control and handling all the affairs. And with time, things had changed. 

You hardly saw them anymore even though you all lived together. And with time, you started to realise how lost you felt. You didn't know what to do with yourself. You tried cooking and baking to pass the time, but what fun was it when you didn't have anyone to share the food with? The boys were gone for long periods of time, sitting in meetings, negotiating pack deals and handling personal issues within the pack. They weren't there like they used to be and suddenly, it seemed like they just expected that you would be there for them. They started to take you for granted, and it hurt. It hurt a lot.

At first you tried to rationalise it. They were busy taking care of the pack. But then, Hongjoong's mom, who never hid her dislike for you, introduced the pack to a new member who she hoped would take your place. Lila was the only other girl the boys knew besides you and their siblings. And in their mind, it was nice to have a new friend, especially someone who came from a different pack from another part of the realm. 

But they didn't realise they were neglecting you. And slowly, as you saw the way they strayed away from you and Hongjoong's mom constantly berating everything you did, you became depressed and struggled to do anything. The boys noticed but still didn't realise it for what it was.

"It's okay to take time but you can't be lazy."

"It's just a phase."

"You should dress up more like Lila."

You were tired, beyond tired and drained. Nights consisted of you being unable to fall asleep until 1AM, and mornings consisted of waking up at the crack of dawn with all the hurt and pain rushing back in as you came back to reality. All you wanted was to feel like yourself again. You wanted the pain you felt to stop. You wanted the tears that flowed every night like a rushing stream as you muffled yourself into your pillow to stop. You wanted to feel like you again. 

Hongjoong's father was aware of his wife's motives and chastised and begged her to stop. But she ignored him and continued to attack you. He decided you needed a space for yourself until he could talk to his son. He would've done it already if the stupid rogue pack would stop threatening to wage war. 

So he told you about the secret lake and the Moon Goddess temple. Werewolf history prophesied that the lake was where wishes came true and the one with a pure heart and soul could see the Moon Goddess herself if they were truly devoted. In addition, some lore claimed that the lake was a portal to the human realm. Since 1998, all of the realms had been closed off to the human realm after the great siege, and no one had been to the human realm since.

And that's where you spent your time. You befriended the forest animals, you made flower crowns, prayed in the temple seeking for solace from your harsh reality and tried to keep yourself busy for the day.

No one knew of this and Hongjoong's mom tried to insinuate you were seeing someone. But his father immediately put a stop to it, saying that he had you helping out with the young pups on the other side of town.

All fared well for the most part. You still weren't okay but you had a safe space. 

And then it all went down.

You were snapped out of your thoughts. A loud bang pierced through the entire mansion with shrill screams and shouts. 

The rogue werewolf clan attacked that night. 

Everyone screamed and scrambled as fast as they could have. They pushed and rushed for safety as wails pierced through the air. The boys were on the other side of the town and in the large mansion were only you, the boys' families and some members of the pack and the mansion’s workers. 

You raced out of the room hoping to find someone, but ran into one of the rogues with a sickening and sinister smile on his face. You could fight but you weren’t sure if you could take him especially with that giant axe in his hand. Before you could react, a loud clang rang through the room and the rogue fell to the ground groaning in pain as blood began to leak out from the back of his head. In place of him stood your dear friend Cleo, daughter of one of the maids. She breathed heavily, still coming to terms with what she just did.

“Cleo! That was amazing!” 

“Yeah…hah, didn’t know I had that in me.”

As another loud bang was heard, you both snapped out of your thoughts and began to search for a way out. Suddenly, you remembered the secret passage in the library. Both you and Cleo scampered as fast as you could, tripping on your own feet as adrenaline rushed through you and you could hear your heartbeat in your ears. Finally arriving at the library, you slammed the door and began to find the book that would get you out of here.

You had barely escaped that night. You ran to the lake, stumbling and pushing the fear down your chest. You and Cleo both split up deciding that was the best idea at the moment. In the clearing, you looked around hoping to feel safe. But you could hear the evil snarls and growls approaching you. You didn't know what to do and looked towards the temple, a small prayer on your tongue. 

After that, only one thing came to mind, you hoped those swimming classes would pay off now. You jumped in the lake. As you opened your eyes under the water, there was not much you could see except…a white glow. It gave off a safe vibration, you felt drawn to it.

As you tried to swim towards it, your vision started to become hazy.

And then, it all went dark.

[animeficsworld]

Romance

Saitama x Reader

Summary: It's a well-known fact that Saitama doesn't feel anything, but that doesn't mean he can't try. 

---

It was no surprise that your boyfriend was someone who wasn't really fond of romance. Being emotionless didn't really work for his favour either. 

But Saitama decided a long time ago, that he would do anything not to lose you. He tried to be romantic as much as he could. He read a lot into it as well.

So, it was no surprise to you, that when he asked you to stay over at his place, you found the whole apartment lit with candles and flowers. 

Your heart always melted whenever he did something like this. You found it incredibly cute.

"Sai?" you called out when you didn't find him in the living room. His apartment was rather small so he couldn't really hide anywhere.

Suddenly the door to the balcony opened, and there he stood. With his usually yellow shirt on.

"Oh, you are early." he said. He must have been watering his cactus.

"I might have been a tad bit too excited so I got here quickly. But I did get us some sweets from the store." you said placing the plastic bag onto his table. He didn't say anything, his usual blank expression on his face.

But he soon gathered himself as you put all your stuff out of the way and he walked over to you and kissed you. 

"You look beautiful."

"Thank you." you knew that he must have learned that from one of his manga, but you just decided to take the compliment. You kissed him back. "So, what did you plan?" you asked, knowing that there had to be one. Saitama usually had a list of what he wanted and needed to do on dates, but of course, you never told him that you knew about that list. 

"A movie, you got snacks but I have some too."

"Cuddling?"

"All the cuddling." he answered and watched as your smile grew. He loved it when you smiled, that's what made him feel again. 

His futon was a bit small for two people, but he managed to pull you into his body just right, so you could fit.

Saitama had your back against his chest as a horror movie played. Saitama read it somewhere that if your partner is scared, they will cling onto you, and that's exactly what he wanted and why he picked a movie that would surely terrify you.

And so that's how you spent the rest of the evening, cuddled up into his very muscular chest while watching the movie. He occasionally squeezed you closer to himself when he felt that you were scared.

And scared you were.

The movie was absolutely terrifying. 

And once it finally ended, you were very grateful. You looked at the clock and saw that it was actually pretty late, so you decided to go, take a bath and go to sleep.

"Sai, will you join me to the bath?"

"I-I already had a bath, before you arrived."

"Oh." you didn't push it further, seeing his red flustered face was enough. Into the bathroom, you went to enjoy a warm bath. Although the movie was scary, the thought of sleeping in the arms of the Worlds strongest helped a lot with easing your mind. You wondered if he did it on purpose or was he just genuinely interested in the movie since you knew he liked these kinds of films. 

Anyways, you got out of the bath and put your pyjama on. When you got back to the futon, Saitama blew the candles out and was already half asleep. You turned the TV off and went ahead to lay down beside your boyfriend. He pulled you close as you placed your head on his chest.

Falling asleep you felt so lucky because even though Saitama is emotionless, you were very thankful for the things he did and how hard he tried. 

[butterscotchpiesandguys]

Acting The Part

I was a film student, that means I had to play a lot of roles. Mostly, however, I remained the one behind the cameras. Why? Well it was simply because I was pretty humble... in my own words, others would call me shy and reserved.

I had a project coming up, a final film for the semester. Had to be within the genre we were working for an unfortunately for me that was romance. I was not good with romance, obviously of course. I was shy. So... that was why I partnered up with a few buddies, Chris, Tony, Danielle, and Skylar. It was an optional group project due to how big it was. Unfortunately one guy who was left out was Brian. A total douche, called himself a sigma and everything. Totally full of himself.

Saw himself being the star too, always was in the movies... although with his ripped abs, jawline, and general physique... it was obvious why he thought he would be in the group... so we started scripting. It went well at first, that was until Brian started butting in. Asked if his girlfriend could be the love interest. This was supposed to be a group project and so we said no, Danielle would be covering that part. He whined about it until Skylar came up to me to ask something. "Do we need Brian here?" He asked softly, so he didn't actually hear. He was off arguing with Tony again, Go figure.

"Well... I did have an idea..." I admitted. Of course this idea was also a bit rude. We would simply do the script without him. Meetup some times, make excuses. It worked for a while until he started to get suspicious. He was stupid but he wasn't that stupid.

About a week into scripting, everything was coming out well. We almost had it done and we even had a role for Brian! Now we weren't going to tell him until the day of, and seeing how he needed this for a good grade... he'd have to go along with it. Well that was what I thought until he stopped me on the way to a class. "Hey [Y/N], how's it hangin." He put his hand beside my head as I leaned against the wall. He asked a simple question, quite friendly too... if it wasn't for his threatening tone. "Been a while, started to think my film partner died. That would have been bad." He chuckled and let up a bit. "Why don't we talk about the script for a bit. "I uh..." I tried to speak up but he put his hand on my back as he walked me away from the class I had next.

"You say somethin? No? Okay well good, we're goin someplace nice and comfortable." He started to walk me out of the building and through the campus. Some people stared at us, I mean a star football player and some film student would draw some eyes. Eventually we got to the bleachers of the football stadium. It was super empty and due to Brian having a part time job cleaning the place he had keys.

We sat down on some metal bleachers near the announcer's box and he had me get out my laptop. "So, run me through the script. Last I heard I was going to be the star?" He smirked a bit. This would be hard to break.

"Well uh... I'll just uh... we made some changes but everything's still very flexible!" I tried to assure him. I started at where it would begin, a nerd getting bullied. The bully was played by... Brian. he wasn't too happy but was willing to hear me out. Then I went through the story slower, more cautiously to not offend the giant oaf. Stuff about the nerds banding together... having a fun time and ultimately the nerd getting the nerdy chick. Danielle was supposed to play the nerdy girl, Skylar wanted to be the main character. I would be the camera man and director. Brian looked annoyed. "So... this sucks."

"Wait what? What about it sucks? Is it just because you're not the main star? You know what'd be weird." I tried to fight back. It was partially my script.

"Lemme guess, your buddy Skylar wrote a lot of it." I looked down and did have to agree... so I nodded, Skylar was a great writer though! "Look man, I know you don't like being in front of the camera and stuff but this might be your last little movie, why not have fun with it? How is this fair to you at all?" Wait was Brian sticking up for me?

"I uh... I guess it's not... But I don't really like being the star." I looked at the bigger guy who was now being oddly nice.

He sighed. "Yeah, and I'm not sayin you have to be. I mean you gave me a pretty raw deal." Brian looked oddly sad.

I was always the one to make peace... god damn it... would I really do this? I had to... "Well uh... what would you propose to change that stuff?" I asked, nervous to what he would propose.

"Well, here's my idea. We swap some roles around. Make it better for all of us. Skylar can run the camera this time, he always gets to be in front of it." I nodded, Skylar could be a competent camera man... "Glad you agree, then I can take his role as a nerd and you can be the rival... hell maybe you can get your own babe out of it."

"Wait, what?" I looked at the big guy confused. Him? The nerd? No way. And me as the rival? How the hell would I do that? "I don't think that'll work. I mean we should cast for what we're good at and..."

Brian cut me off, "Yeah and I'm pretty nice, right?" I looked at him, he was looking me right in the eyes. I nodded, not wanting to be rude. "Exactly! So I should be given the chance to play a fun nice guy!" His smile was reassuring but I still had issues.

"Yeah but I really don't think people will buy me as a douchebag..." I sighed and scratched my head. It was true. I was smaller, weaker, and dorky as hell.

"Well, sure, right now you don't but trust me! I got some ideas that can help you! But it's what someone would call... method acting. Probably heard of it."

"That sounds like a dumb idea, I'll be honest. I mean... that'll just get me bullied.... more than usual at least." I sighed, feeling like this was going nowhere.

"Nah, trust me bro. I mean if you stick with me I'll vouch."

"But I barely have any classes with you aside from film related ones." I looked a bit confused. How would that work.

"Well here's the deal. I can talk to my professors, tell them you wanna do some stuff and I'm sure with a little flexing of my status... we can get you in for the few more weeks or months we have left of class this semester. It's not gonna be much, mister straight As." He was going to do that for me?

"I guess... I could see how this goes... I could use a break before my other finals..." I chuckled a bit nervously, which made him pat my back, almost flinging me out of my seat.

"There we go! Here's my phone number and..." He grabbed my phone and put his number and contacts in, "We should be good to go, send me a link to the script btw! Gotta work on that thing!

That night I sent him the link, and felt oddly nervous about this. I mean... it was like starting a whole new life! I hadn't been in front of the cameras in a while so that would be nerve racking too! Brian's advice was to "Not think about it." Seemed he could go his whole life without thinking about much.

The next day we spent working out, and working on attitude. His girlfriend Tori came over during some of it and Brian said it would be a great time to practice confidence. I didn't nail it. He had a good laugh though and she took it in stride. Overall a good Saturday.

The day after that we worked on some more muscle, while also just hanging out again... this time some of his douchey friends came over. He was saying this was both confidence and some experience training. Like being in job training. Eventually I somewhat grew accustomed to them. They all were charismatic and handsome too. I felt oddly at home near some of them, hell I even threw some insults back at them when they came my way. I wasn't great at it yet.

Day three of this shit and I was now walking around with Brian and his little group. Seemed most of them had the same classes. I got stopped in the hall though by a classmate. He tried to direct me to class but... as per a whispered instruction... I mocked him and his shit haircut. After classes we worked out, seemed like this was something I had to do... Brian and Tanner, one of Brian's friends who was more in on it, said this was to make me not sound like a dork when referencing sports and shit. Good reason...

My the next week I was already feeling the burn. Skylar and the others were a bit pissed at me for blowing off our group meetings for hangouts with Brian and his crew. I told him I was method acting and he should get off my case. Well he didn't take it too well. "Well maybe you should stop being in our fucking shit if you like Brian that much!" That was a bad insult.

I yelled back. "Well, maybe if you didn't try to hog the limelight all the time I wouldn't be doing this shit!" It kind of just came out of me. For some reason... Skylar looked a bit... weaker and smaller than me. "Besides, not like you could even carry a movie with that fuckin acne." I may have went too far, he looked pissed and I felt awful. He stormed off leaving me alone...

I had a party that night, at the frat. Brian noticed me looking down the entire time. Came to comfort me. "Bro, trust me. He deserved it. I mean he's always been pushing you back and the moment you try and get out there and have fun he tries to put you back down? Not cool, you know that."

"Yeah but... I don't wanna fuck shit up with my friends and all that." I said with a red solocup in my hand.

"Well... maybe you're better off without them. I mean the only one I see potential in is maybe Danielle." I nodded.

"Yeah, Tony is a nobody, Skylar is a pussy... And I was both. Still feel bad for Danielle." I had a crush on her before.

"Well don't go around pussyfooting. I'm sure we can change the script and as her to method act too! I mean how much fun has it been for you, Oliver."

"Oliver?" I laughed and looked at Brian, "Why'd you call me that?"

"Oh! Well I had an idea. Just a small one. I mean why not go by your character's name? You are supposed to be method acting!"

"Yeah... Oliver... that... works well." I smiled. I mean I did look like an Oliver now... or at least the character! I didn't know how but in retrospect god my body was wimpy. Now I looked fire as hell!

The next few days would be painfully awkward. Skylar would try and salvage the script, much to the annoyance of Brian and I. There were two sides clashing and I knew which one sounded better, Skylar was just doing this for himself. Eventually Brian and I started a secret document, included Danielle in there too. Got them over Discord on a call to talk about the newer idea. By now we had enough of the nice guy act. Brian thought it was way too soft... he pitched the new idea. "Why don't we, instead of doing whatever that little soy boy wants, do our own thing. Like... Why don't we do something where the bullies got some character."

Danielle was hesitant. "Well what about the others? And what would my role be?"

I had an answer already. "Well we need a camera man and Tony, by far, is the best of Skylar and him. I mean I could do it but I've worked pretty hard."

"[Y/N]..." Danielle sighed, She was getting tired of this.

"Dani, it's Oliver or Ollie. I'm taking it pretty serious as you can see." I smiled. into the webcam which I never used before... hell my whole profile changed. Near daily pics of me were my banner and icon instead of some anime boy.

Brian nodded a bit. "So, we want you in this film too Dani, you're a great actress but we want you to practice your new role. You'll be Ollie's bitchy GF, like a mean girl kinda thing."

"But that isn't...." She got cut off by me again.

"Look, Dani... I know it ain't your style but this isn't mine either. To be a star you have to make sacrifices, and playing the part is the thing. I already asked and Tori can help you get into role. And hey, we can hang more if you do... I mean if you want my place is pretty open." It was an invite to fuck. By now I was still a virgin, even if Brian tried to change that many times.

"Okay..." She finally agreed. Thank god this was getting annoying.

Eventually we got our crew together. Some guys from the soccer team for scrawnier nerds, some guys from Brian's crew to be our friends and... Danielle was coming along fine. My type had shifted a bit, especially now that I could have options... they were molding her real nicely.

Skylar soon got wind of our plan but by now it was too late to stop. I was getting ready for the first day of filming. I had my body in peak performance, all done up by one of Tori's friends. And he came over to yell at me. Not congratulate me. By this point I just had Alex, one of Brian and I's friends walk him off the little set we staged. Students would be happy to actually get in this film. I mean we were big stars around campus and we knew it.

People loved how I changed. I became a star. I mean... with my now blonde hair, scuffy facial hair, ripped abs, giant body... who wouldn't. Brian helped me realize something. I was made to be in front of the cameras. I was made to be a star. Danielle would realize that in time too.

As for the filming... it went spectacular. We all got great grades, hell... we started helping Tony out with getting better himself! I mean... we'd need it if we wanted to make more of these. It was a fun parody film... even if it was meant to be serious. The audience didn't get it but whateves. Wasn't my problem. I just didn't have to think too hard about it.

Within months I asked out Danielle, she said yes... of course. We became a new power couple. I urged her to join a sports team like I was doing. I started football like Brian. We did well as a team... also started power lifting and by god I was great! Danielle did gymnastics and by god was she flexible. Eventually I had my name changed. I was welcomed into Brian's family pretty easily too... so I adopted his last name. We were the Greene brothers.... started small with acting and sports but soon, through some modeling and commercials... we started getting big.

As for Skylar... who knows what became of that no name wannabe. He didn't take his shot. Maybe if he was more eager he could have ended up as a male model like Tony. Eh, not my problem. I just played my part and helped everyone around me. That's what being a star is for... you play your part and you like it... And I love it.

[queerfables]

The Rules of the Twist

Given the themes of deception and sleight of hand in Good Omens season 2, I think most of us agree it's at least possible there's some kind of twist waiting to be revealed in season 3. We're bouncing around a lot of theories, but I wanted to take a step back and look at the general shape of what we might expect.

The big twist we've seen before in Good Omens is Crowley and Aziraphale's body swap. (Okay, technically it was an appearance swap. But that just doesn't sound as pithy.) Rather than anticipate an exact repeat of this trick, I'm considering the swap as a sort of model. What does it tell us about the rules Neil plays by when he pulls a twist in this story? What clues can we expect, and what can we not count on? Sure, there's no guarantee that a season 2 twist is going to map exactly onto what we've seen in the past, but I think it's a reasonable place to start. Take these as guidelines and take them with a grain of salt, but if you're sorting through all our fascinating Good Omens theories and trying to decide what you think, you might find them helpful.

So then, what are the rules?

Broadly speaking, Neil plays fair with twists. He foreshadows and includes enough hints for the audience to make a reasonable guess at what's going on, or at least to look back after the reveal and go, "oh, of course". But he still keeps some cards close to the chest.

During the body swap, there are two big gaps in the information we're given:

Key events happen off screen The swap happened between scenes, during a time that it was only suggested, not confirmed, that Crowley and Aziraphale would be together. The transition between these scenes also used film and tv conventions to make that passage of time "invisible" - we see Crowley and Aziraphale get on the bus, and then we see them in the morning going about their days separately, and we're conditioned to think nothing important could have happened in between.

Key tools (eg abilities, items, information) haven't been shown before The swap was not something we'd ever seen Crowley and Aziraphale do, and it wasn't something they'd ever talked about either. It fit comfortably into the established world building but it hadn't been specifically signposted as a possibility.

The other big twist that Good Omens pulled was the romance between Gabriel and Beelzebub as the explanation for Gabriel's disappearance from heaven. Both of these information gaps are involved here too. The offscreen event is obviously the meetings between Gabriel and Beelzebub that lead to them falling in love - up until Gabriel's flashback sequence, the only indication they'd ever met each other was a brief conversation at the airbase during Armageddon. The tool that we haven't seen before is Beelzebub's ability to create a fly vessel for Gabriel's memories (protecting him in much the same way that Crowley and Aziraphale protected each other with their body swap, in fact).

These are pretty big gaps, really. And given that Neil knew there'd be years between seasons 2 and 3, I expect he would have leaned pretty heavily into them if he wanted to hide something. So how do we predict a twist if we can't know where it is and haven't seen what it might involve?

Unanswered questions

This is the big one. Looking at where the furniture isn't, you might say.

What's interesting is that the questions that point to a twist aren't usually subtle or ambiguous. For the body swap, the two converging questions were: what did Agnes' last prophecy mean, and how could Crowley and Aziraphale survive their executions? In season two, some of the unanswered questions signposting Gabriel/Beelzebub were: how did Gabriel lose his memory, why was he carrying a box, what was the significance of the song he kept singing, who was he at the Resurrectionist with...

I think guesses about upcoming twists are most convincing when they seek to tie up loose threads from the show. For this reason, I'm a little skeptical of theories proposing the kiss between Crowley and Aziraphale involved some kind of twist. It isn't impossible, I just don't see any unanswered questions there. (Savvy readers may note that I too have speculated about a twist hidden in the kiss. I do find the possibility fun, but it's not a theory I'm seriously committed to). If I was going to really buy into one of these theories, I'd want it to explain one of my big unanswered questions other than "but how could they get into a fight that hurts me so deep in my soul?" That's definitely a question I have, but not technically a mystery.

It's worth noting that in the case of the body swap, we were initially given a false answer to the question "how did they survive their executions?" The angels and demons watching attribute it to Crowley and Aziraphale having "gone native", believing that their natures had fundamentally changed, making them immune to holy water and hellfire. It might be the case, then, that some of the apparently resolved questions this season warrant further investigation. Is there more to the story of Gabriel's disappearance than we know, for example?

2. Unexplained details

If examining an unanswered question is looking at where the furniture isn't, then this is where we take all the pieces of furniture piled up in storage and see if we've got anything that fits. Everything is fair game here: script, acting, music, props, sets, costumes, editing, camera angles, audio effects, visual effects, everything. If it's on the screen or coming through the speakers, it was put there on purpose by multiple teams of highly skilled and attentive creators all working together to create the final product.

I think you could probably do an entire meta on all the little details pointing towards the season 1 body swap, but here are some of the big ones:

"Crowley" sees the restored Bentley, but takes a taxi instead of driving it

"Aziraphale" circles "Crowley" when they order their ice creams, the way Crowley more typically moves around Aziraphale

"Crowley" says "tickety boo", an extraordinarily Aziraphalean phrase

The collar on "Crowley's" jacket is a beige tartan rather than its usual red

There are general differences in the ways David Tennant and Michael Sheen embody the characters throughout the swap

Similarly, Gabriel and Beelzebub's romance has lots of small details pointing to it. The big one that keeps showing up is the connection between Gabriel and flies. He mentions them and interacts with them repeatedly, and although it isn't obvious at first glance, there's a fly in the box that he carries to the bookshop. This all culminates in the reveal that it's the same fly, Beelzebub's gift to him.

Here's the problem, of course: if everything in the show is intentional and crafted with meticulous attention to detail, how do we know what actually matters? This is why I think it's so important to look at the unanswered questions first. There's a joy in seeking out Easter eggs and connecting all the dots, and sometimes you might strike gold this way, but there's also a lot of noise in the signal. It's helpful to know the general shape of what you're looking for, so you'll know when you've found it.

You can reverse engineer this. Start with details that jump out at you and then look for a puzzle they might explain. This works, but it's a little easier to get lost in the weeds, struggling to sort out what's significant and what's a fun reference to another piece of media or a hint to a question that's already been resolved. Going back to the twists we've already seen on this show, the unanswered questions around them were really big and obvious, so I think it's a good idea to ask: if I hadn't noticed this detail, would I have thought this was a mystery that needed solving?

Okay, but what do we do with this?

Well, maybe nothing. These criteria can't confirm or rule out any theories, after all. I'm laying it out like a rubric but it isn't really, I'm just describing a few storytelling patterns we've seen before and making some rough guesses about how they might show up again. If I were really serious about this I'd probably take a look at other examples of Neil's work and see how well my model holds up there, but the truth is I'm not really familiar with enough of his other works to do this. (Confession time: I was always more of a Pratchett fan).

The main reason that I've laid everything out like this is it informs my thinking when I stress test my own theories, and I figured other people might be interested in it. I'm also hoping it will help me to be able to refer back to this when I write meta in the future. For my own purposes, I find a breakdown like this helpful because it gives me a sense of how a writer approaches their story, where they'll tip their hand and where they'll hold things close. It's no guarantee and it wouldn't be any fun if it was, but in a lot of cases we're not aware of our own patterns, so it can be surprisingly illuminating.

[bettyfrommars]

Video store Eddie? 👀

Mel I'm going to break the rules of this weekend WIP game and just post the whole thing instead of a snippet. It's a very short part 1, and I'm not sure if I'll continue it, but I do love the vibe. I have so many finished WIPs I'm holding onto for whatever reason. @the-unforgivenn was also wondering about this one.

Eddie x older!Reader

This takes place in late 1987 - early 1988, Eddie is...however old he would be, and afab Reader is in their mid 30's. She/they pronouns. Would Steve and Robin still be working at Family Video at that time? Probably not, but I love the idea of visiting them there, infinity. Smut in other parts, if I ever write them.

Word Count: 1.3k

No major warnings but my blog is 18+Only

“Excuse me, do you work here?”

Eddie was squatting down looking through the horror section of Family Video with his butt crack peeking out from the waist of his belted denim when he first heard your voice.

“Sorry,” he sighed as he stood, wallet chain and a set of keys jangling at his hip. Once he saw you, his breath caught, and his brain shifted gears.  “What I meant to say is sorry, it’s my day off but yeah, I work here.  How can I help you?

He ran a flat hand down his chest a few times, eyes darting around to see if Steve or Robin were anywhere near enough to hear it and call him out.  

You weren’t ready for the guy to be so cute when he turned around, or for his eyes to be such a deep velvet brown.  If you had to guess, you'd say he was in his early 20's. Had you ever been that young? If you didn’t have the 1975 Led Zeppelin tour ticket stubs at home as proof, you might’ve believed you’d skipped those years entirely. 

That was the second time you’d spotted him at the video store, and you’d frozen in place, mind flustered to think of some excuse to talk to him.

“I was hoping for an opinion, if you have a second?”

Eddie shuffled around so that, when one of the other two actual employees noticed them, they wouldn’t see who he was talking to right away.

“That’s what I’m here for,” his tongue flicked out to wet his lips before a grin.  “I mean, I do other things around here too, but opinions are sort of my thing.”

You had two tapes in your hand, both new releases, and you held them out to face him.  One was Dirty Dancing, and the other was Evil Dead 2.

“Gun to your head, which one would you choose?”

“Gun to my head? Damn,” he chuckled, rubbing the palm of one hand with his other thumb. “Well, we’re talking about two vastly different films here.  What’s the occasion?”

Shit, you were sexy.  You were beautiful, sure, but it wasn't just that. You made him curious; he wanted to open up the top of your head and see what was inside. You smelled good too, like those spicy essential oil blends they sold at that mystical shop downtown.  The place with all of the incense and gemstones and shit. 

Obviously he’s choosing Evil Dead 2, but he wants to give you the most helpful, educated answer possible.  Patrick had moves, he’d give him that.  

“If it’s like, a girls night thing, definitely go for Swayze,” he pointed at the vhs.  “But if it’s a date or something, nothing says romance like Ash Willimas with a chainsaw.”

Please say it wasn’t for a date.

“It’s not for a date,” you muttered, looking down at your choices.  You held up Evil Dead 2.  “This is the one I want to watch,” you switched and held up the other. “And this is the one I feel like I should watch because it’s all anyone is talking about.”

Eddie put his hands on his hips authoritatively.  “Well, I think you have your answer.  Have you watched The Lost Boys yet? Prince of Darkness is a bit of a sleeper.  Not sure if that’s your speed but—”

Robin came back to the floor wiping tzatziki sauce from the corners of her mouth.  She saw you talking with Eddie, but knew it was in her job description to give you a proper greeting regardless.

“Hello, welcome to Family Video.  Can I help you find anything today?”

Your gaze flicked from her to him and back again, framed by an awkward silence.

“It’s okay Robs, I’ve got it,” Eddie gave her a thumbs up, hoping she didn’t decide to blow his cover right then and there.  

Robin raised a single brow, watching him suspiciously as she scooted behind the counter.  

“What if you got both? Rent three, get one free,” Eddie reasoned with a shrug.  “It’s Friday, live a little.”

“You’re right,” you cupped both tapes in one hand.  “I watched Lost Boys in the theater when it came out, but maybe I’ll check out Prince of Darkness, if you think it’s good.”

“Hey, me too,” he popped up on the balls of his feet.  “Saw Lost Boys in the theater, I mean.  It was badass.”  He might not have gone on opening day, but for the double date Steve had begged him to go along with. It was a disaster.

Steve’s head shot up from the far corner of the store where he’d been stocking shelves.  “Are you back on the floor?” He asked Robin.  “I need to run to Melvalds.”

She gave Eddie a pointed look when she said, “yeah, we’re fine. You can go.”

Eddie’s fourth movie recommendation was Legend.  “Darkness, my man,” he clapped the cassette to his chest when you said you’d take it, and then led you up to the checkout counter as if he really knew what he was doing.  There were grease smudges on his jeans, and the Bark at the Moon shirt he had on was ripped wide in the arm holes, enough to show his ribs and the lines of a tattoo under there.

You wondered about all of his tattoos, even wished he’d take off his shirt and explain them all to you, but perhaps you were getting ahead of yourself. It was his job to be so attentive with you, he probably wasn't flirting.    

Robin eyed him steadily before giving you her best customer service smile.  “Did you find everything okay?”

“He was a big help,” you put the tapes down on the counter.  “I’m sorry, what is your name?”

“Eddie,” he stuck a hand out, the one with all of the metal rings on it. He had calluses on the tips of his fingers and pads of his palm.  “Eddie Munson, at your service.”

“If you work on Sunday when I return them, I’ll let you know how they were.”

“I–I—” he stuttered, sweating under Robin’s stare.  “I don’t work on Sunday, but I should be around, so, yeah.”

“He’s here pretty much every day,” Robin said with a snide edge to her voice as she put the videos in a plastic bag.  It’s true, Eddie had been hanging around an awful lot after work at his actual job slinging wrenches at the garage.  Ever since he’d saved up for a VCR, there were a lot of movies he wanted to catch up on.  

That and he loved being a pest.

After you were out the door, he watched you walk to your car through the window.  You got behind the wheel of a station wagon, and he wondered if maybe you had a family and shit? Kids? You didn’t seem to care about the films you’d chosen being family friendly, but maybe they were away for the weekend? A divorce? Maybe they were at their dads place.

He was thinking way too much about your living situation and relationship status.  

“Okay, mind telling me what that was all about?” Robin put her chin on her fist.  

“She asked me if I worked here and I got nervous and said I did,” he admitted, watching you go until the car was out of sight.  “I wanted to keep talking to her, so I lied.  Now I feel stupid as fuck.”

“You’ll probably never see her again, anyway,” she shrugged.  

“Don’t say that,” he frowned.  

“If she asks about you on Sunday and you’re not here, I’ll just tell her you got fired.”

“You won’t have to, I’ll be here.”

Robin gave a snort.  “You don’t even know what time she’ll come by.  We’re open till—”

“I said I’ll be here,” he stared out into the parking lot space where your car had been, patting the counter with each word.  “Yep, yep, yep, this is where I shall be.”

Robin rolled her eyes so hard they went white.  

[queenshelby]

Our Little Secret (Part 65)

Pairing: Cillian Murphy x Reader

Warning: Infidelity, Age-Gap, Triggers, Smut

The following morning, Cillian had to get up early again for the filming and you decided to spend a day in town with Mara, leaving early as well.

On your way to the local tram station, you swung by the local coffee shop to get a drink and a croissant, and this is when you saw her again, Annabelle, walking into the shop with another woman in tow, chatting away happily. 

"I honestly do not know what Cillian even sees in her. She is so bland and too young to have any kind of experience, you know," she was saying, not noticing your presence in the corner. 

"But they had a kid together, Belle. So, no matter what, she will stick around even if you get your chance with him," the other woman replied, rolling her eyes.

Your grip on your coffee cup tightened, the heat making the ceramic burn your hand as you listened in on their conversation. But it wasn't just the words that pierced through you, but the way she said them. It was disrespectful and you were worried about her intentions. 

"I honestly think that he is just keeps her around because of the kid. There is no way that he would actually be in love with her," Annabelle retorted back, not noticing the blush on your cheeks from the nearby corner whish is when, finally, the barista called out to Annabelle, letting her know that her coffee was ready.

As she picked up her coffee from the counter, she noticed  your presence out of the corner of her eye and she smiled curtly at you.

"Hey, good morning, Y/N," she said in passing, heading out of the coffee shop before you could even respond. "Big day on set today," she cheered on, and you let out a huff of frustration, feeling a cold dread settling at the pit of your stomach.

"That's bullshit," you muttered under your breath. A flicker of annoyance flashed across your face, and you did what you would usually do in an instance like this. You called your best friend Emma and asked her for advice after telling her that, just last night, Cillian and you rekindled your romance before mentioning Annabelle and her antics.

"Oh, I knew it! I knew you would get back together," Emma exclaimed, her voice vibrating with excitement on the other end of the phone call. "This is exactly what you needed!" she added, her tone warm and comforting.

"I suppose it is," you confirmed, still stewing over the encounter with Annabelle. "But then why on earth am I so goddamn jealous all of a sudden." 

"Because he did cheat and because there are rumors about them, so I would say it is understandable," Emma reasoned and you kept on vending. 

"I suppose you are right," you said again before taking a quick pause and then continuing. "She's so fucking unbearable though, Em and I cannot just stand for it," you sighed as you paced around your newly shared home. "I mean, I know I can't control who Cillian films with, and I won't be making a scene, but she just seems so manipulative and insincere, it worries me."

"I know Y/N," Emma said, her voice coming through the phone loud and clear. "And here is what you are going to do," she added, her voice brimming with determination. "You are going to call Cillian to see whether he could show you and Mara around on set today and when he does, you will mark your territory,"  Emma emphasized, her voice just a little louder with every word. "Make yourself known as his girlfriend. Give him a little PDA and a big passionate kiss, right in front of her,"  Emma said, and you could almost imagine her wagging her finger at you.

You couldn't help but laugh at her fierce tone. "Oh god, I am not this kind of girlfriend, Em. Cillian would know something is up if I did that," you replied, a little worried about the plan Emma just proposed to you.

"Well, you either do that or you confront her at his workplace and make a huge scene. Because you are not going to let her disrespect you like that, are you?" Emma's tone was stern and even a little disappointed in you for not sticking up for yourself.

"Alright. Okay. You are right. I will stick up for myself," you confirmed, taking a deep breath to calm your nerves. "I will call Cillian and ask him about the set visit, and then I will make sure that Annabelle gets the hint." 

"Good for you! And if she tries to be rude again, just tell Cillian. He can sort it out," Emma offered helpfully, and you knew she was right.

After hanging up the phone, you took a moment to gather your thoughts before dialing Cillian's number. He picked up after the second ring, sounding a little groggy, probably because he didn't get much sleep last night as you had a lot of intimate catching up to do.

"Hey, it's me. I know you are busy, but I was wondering if maybe Mara and I could come by the set later and visit," you asked hopefully, crossing your fingers as you waited for his response.

"I would love for you and Mara to visit," Cillian said, sounding genuinely happy. "But I think this morning's schedule is really packed, especially since we are reshooting a few scenes. So, how about lunch? I have break around one I think and then I've got about an hour to show you around," he said, his voice warm and inviting. 

"Awesome. I will be there at one , then," you replied, already feeling a bit of excitement bubbling in your chest at the idea of seeing Cillian in his work environment, as well as the prospect of seeing Annabelle's reaction when you show up. You knew it was a little petty, but you could not help it. You needed her to see her place and being there would clearly send the right message. 

When you arrived at just before one o'clock that day, the set was bustling with activity, but Cillian was true to his word.

At exactly one o'clock, he met you and Mara in front of the soundstage, looking every bit the leading man he was.

"Dada," Mara cried out, beaming up at him as she walked towards him and Cillian swept her up into his arms, planting a kiss on her cheek.

"There's my little angel," he said, grinning broadly before giving her a kiss and walking towards you, carrying her at the same time. 

"Hi," you smiled at him shyly and he wasted no time to  approach you and press a lingering kiss to your lips, making you blush at the public display of affection.

"Come on, I will show you around," Cillian said with a wink, taking you and Mara on a tour of the set. As you walked through the bustling area, Cillian greeted the cast and crew with ease, showing you the different sets and introducing you to a few of his colleagues whom you have not met yet.

You couldn't help but be in awe of the whole process, watching as the cameras rolled and scenes were shot. 

"This is so weird. All those people and cameras," you turned to Cillian with a surprised expression on your face, shaking your head slightly.

"I know, right?" Cillian chuckled. "I don't think I will ever get used to it," he told you just before you ran into Cillian assistant, Lindsay, whom you knew very well. 

"Ah Mara is here," she said excitedly, bending down to give Mara a kiss on the cheek. "Is your dad giving you and Gigi a tour? That must be pretty boring, huh?"  Lindsay asked, smiling wryly at Mara before turning to Cillian. "Do you want me to take her for half an hour so you can show Y/N around properly? We could hang in the staff room and have some cake and maybe play with Gigi?"  Lindsay asked, gesturing towards a building in the distance.

Cillian looked at you for confirmation, and you nodded your approval. "That sounds great," you said, smiling gratefully at Lindsay before thanking her for her generous offer.

"Alright then Mara, let's go huh," she said, as she held out her hand to Mara, who took it without hesitation. "We'll bring cake for you too, Y/N," she called out over her shoulder as they walked away.

Cillian chuckled and turned to you with a grin. "Lindsay adores her," he told you, seeing how, even when you were not together, you kept in touch with his assistant and she even attended Mara's birthday party with a present. 

"She sure does,"  you agreed, watching as Lindsay and Mara disappeared into the crowd of staff before turning back to Cillian. "Shall we then?" you asked, raising your eyebrow and taking his hand, letting him know that you were ready to proceed with the tour, and maybe even cause a little drama while you were at it.

As you walked through the set together, you soon ran into the person you were hoping to see, namely Annabelle  . She was chatting with a colleague, but as soon as she noticed you and Cillian approaching, she stopped talking and looked at you with narrowed eyes.

She noticed right away that you and Cillian were holding hands, which was new to her seeing how, until last night, you were still separated  .

Annabelle's gaze lingered on your joined hands for a little too long, and this made you feel more powerful than ever.

You couldn't help but smile at her as you walked past her, your grip on Cillian's hand tightening slightly.

Cillian seemed to notice the tension between the two of you, and he made a point of leaning in closer to you, his free arm wrapping around your waist as he whispered in your ear, "Why are you so jealous?" 

You shrugged and looked up at him. "I don't know. I guess because I just don't trust her," you replied quietly, not wanting to admit the real reason why you were feeling so jittery, namely because of what you had overheard this morning.

"But you need to trust me and the only woman I want is you,"

Cillian replied, his tone sincere and earnest as he looked into your eyes, trying to get you to understand the seriousness of what he was saying.

"I know, I know. I just can't help it," you admitted, giving him a small smile, grateful that he understood where you were coming from.

You walked a bit further together, Cillian pointing out different things around the set, before you found yourselves walking towards Annabelle again.

She was now standing alone, looking at the both of you with daggers in her eyes.

"Steven wants to reshoot at two," she simply told him, ignoring your presence for the moment  as she looked at the schedule on her phone.

Cillian nodded, looking at his own schedule before nodding in agreement. "This means we still have half an hour and a bit," he told you. "Is there something else you wanted to see before we grab Mara from the staff room?"

Cillian asked, looking at you with a faint smile. You couldn't help but appreciate how patient and understanding he was being, given the circumstances. Instead of getting angry or dismissive about your jealousy, he was doing his best to alleviate your fears and reassure you of his devotion.

"Actually, yes, do you have a trailer?" you asked. "I know that most actors have them and I was always rather curious about what's inside,"   you stated, making your intentions clear and while Annabelle got the hint, Cillian certainly did not.

"I do, but it's nothing special. It's just, well, a trailer," Cillian chuckled, oblivious to what you were suggesting.

"Show me," you prompted him nonetheless  , a cheeky smile playing on your lips.

Tags:

@sunbeamseas @saint-ackerman @oatmealisweird @naxxsstuff @amanda08319 @r-m-cidnah @elysiannook @cillshot @infireddabdab @tastycakee @harrysbestiee @lilybabe22 @adalynlowell @henrywintersdearestgirl @ietss @thatgirlthatreadswattpad @ryiamarie @axionn

@nela-cutie @futurecorps3 @delishen @nosebleeds-247 @thirteenis-myluckynumber @gills-lounge @hjmalmed @lost-fantasy @tiredkitten @sidechrisporn @smallsoulunknown @charqing-qing @hopefulinlove @aporiasposts @shycrybaby @me-and-your-husband @hjmalmed @lacontroller1991 @galxydefender @aporiasposts @blondie-22

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[absolutebl]

I Cannot Reach You - Kimi ni wa Todokanai REVIEWED

This image perfectly captures how I feel about this show. You ready? I wasn't.

I Cannot Reach You

AKA I Can't Reach You AKA Kimi ni wa Todokanai

Japan 2023 - 8 eps 20 ea approx 2.5 hours

Themes, main tropes & archetypes: friends to lovers, tsundere/sunshine, self acceptance, self worth, high school BL, live action yaoi, soft romance, kindness

Rating? 10/10

Yeah, it happened again in 2023.

Adapted from a manga.

The moment I finished binging this show I was thinking about writing about it and re-watching it. This is a sure sign that I adored a piece of media. 

This is a wonderful BL.

Truly well executed, with smooth filming and lovely acting, both of a simplistic style that felt slightly more Korean than it did Japanese. It reminded me a little bit of Seven Days and a little bit of Takara and Amagi, and since these are my two favorite high school JBLs obviously I was bound to adore ICRY.

But what it reminded me of more than anything was Cherry Blossoms After Winter.

Odd for JBL and KBL to be so closely linked. 

Like CBAW show, ICRY is classic live action yaoi.

Like the MOST classic of CLASSIC.

All the JBL tropes. I mean look at that image above? It's rooftop assignation, kabedon, and a handhold ALL AT ONCE.

There was also multiple runnings of the gays, surprise kisses (one on a bridge), and shoulder leans.

There is even a “seme looses control to desire” scene which leads to dub con. There is an abject apology after but still - you’ve been warned. 

The premise is: smart sporty hot (and hella gay) Yamato has a long standing crush on his silly sunshine sweetheart bestie, Kakeru. Yamato is also stiff, self isolated, shy, and has only ever really managed to get along with Kakeru. I love this kind of pining seme so damn much, it probably biased me. 

Unlike most uke, Kakeru starts to slowly figure out that his best friend is in love with him by ep 2 (let the chaos bisexual identity crisis commence).

So do some of the friends around them.

The story thus revolves around Yamato trying to unsuccessfully suppress his desire, and Kakeru trying to figure out if he can return Yamato‘s affection.

This biggest barrier is actually Kakeru's feelings of inadequacy and unworthiness (when compared to Yamato). But this is tempered by his genuine kindness which forces him into act with integrity around his dear friend's love and strive to fix everything (even himself) to prove worthy of it - whether he can ultimately return it or not.

Kakeru's struggles are pitted against Yamato‘s repressed need that keeps bubbling over and figuratively (sometimes literally) attacking Kakeru with romantic, emotional, and physical intensity. 

Quick pitch:

This classic friends-to-lovers BL is everything Japan does best. Angsty. Emo. Aching. Driven by real thirst. Yamato is deeply in love with his childhood bestie, Kakeru, and has been for ages, unable to hide his ungainly damaging high school need. He wants Kakeru in every way possible and it oozes off of the screen. Kakeru is silly and a little simple, but not frenetic or overly camp about it. He is earnest, and genuinely wants to keep Yamato in his life which means giving a romance (and gayness) a fair chance. We watch him realize his affection and what form it can take in a truly authentic way. This show was impossibly kind to both of its lead characters and I felt almost honored that I got to watch something so lovely and rare play out on my screen.

I’m not gonna lie, I dithered over whether to give this a 10/10 and nearly didn’t. But there is nothing wrong with it AS A BL.

And it's so GOOD to ALL of its characters and they are so good to each other. It's quiet, and because of that and its goodness, it will get overlooked, but I LOVED IT.

It's not one of those that BL outsiders will get and you must like Japan's style to enjoy it. But I'm in it. It's for me.

What am I hung up over? Even the kisses are good.

10/10

I CAN'T RECOMMEND IT HIGHLY ENOUGH

Welcome to a very elite club. I gotta change all my best of lists now.

I am sorry to tell you how difficult this show is to get hold of. It deserves a much wider distribution. As of Nov 2023 I do not know where to legally find it internationally with eng subs. Please check the comments for updates.

It's on Netflix in some countries!

Try to find it, you won't regret it.

(source)

[soshadysoquiet]

TUA S4 thoughts.

Below, spoilers.

Okay. Lord gonna need some strength to get through this coherently.

Basics first:

The Music: Maybe 2-3 good songs. Dissapointing. Let's talk of a mo about Baby Shark: to me it wasn't funny, the song being such a social media present one in this world really took me out of the show. Yes sure the funnies of parents having to listen to kid music and them being stuck that way but I really wish they'd taken the time to make an original annoying jingle. TUA is usually such a delight for the ears that this hurt me bad! Plus they then kept changing whether the song was on or off, seemed like Diego could control it somewhat, but then why would he turn it back on for them riding into the final battle?

The Dialogue: Felt forced and cheap in places. They can use the word 'fuck' now and seem to therefor have decided they don't need to make the characters have witty insults for each other.

The 'Themes' of the show: Why has my quirky family drama been turned into a 90's romance film. Who asked for this. No.

The "Plot": When your own characters don't care about the plot for the sake of shindigs you think will be more entertaining then you know you fucked up. It made sense the first 2 series them having side quests. Less so in the third. Even less so now. Literally at times they had to say to each other 'oh yeah shouldn't we find Ben?' I'll be here in the corner raisining. Also they came up with these 'stages' for the apocalypse but had one guy throw up, a couple things go boom and then they merge, it was one of the least threatening depictions of apocalypse I've seen - though that could be that it wasn't shot in very interesting ways.

Also side note for why there were so many shots that started upside down and rotated? Like I get if Klaus is upside down, and yeah the umbrellas are inside out, but it (plus the Bennifer monster) gave me too many stranger things vibes.

Now the sub-cast:

Jennifer: Love that for 1/2 the protagonist of the apocalypse she had little to no love put into her character, I legit kept forgetting her and Ben were part of the storyline. I loved that she was birthed from the squid, but why put something eerie and cool like that in and make it have meant nothing? Such a waste.

The villains [Gene, Jean and Abigail/Psy(sp?)]: Whilst I liked the idea of memories infecting the timeline, literally all of these guys was Tell don't Show. And for a series with only six episodes I do not want my time wasted with some side-character villains getting a dance number over the main cast. Despicable. Also there were WAY too many villains here especially if you then also count Reggie as one. Literally make Jennifer be trying to link up with Ben and coercing him (then Viktor could break through to him briefly from past experience of a similar relationship - the symmetry is nice) and have Abbigail be pulling the strings. There were so many side characters of no import that I lost track of the main cast. Hell, make Kenny's Mom be the bad guy I'd have loved that! Also, I like that Abigail was somewhat evil, but then they tried to make her good too? No thank you. Pick a lane not everybody needs redemption.

Special RIP to Diego and Lila's twins that Never Even Got Names 💀 fucking hell that's lazy ass writing.

Now the main cast:

Viktor: He deserved better, why bother to introduce that he's had a girlfriend, slept through the entire town, and owns a bar when you then don't talk about any of it. He's told to 'grow up' it's so specific, what does it mean? Also since last we saw he was the sort of ride or die for his love type (with both Leonard and Sissy) this is a frustrating turn with no explanation. Also his whole fight with Reggie and getting things off his chest arc felt forced and not as well written to me. And his character seemed to have been given zero changes from the last 6 years. I miss when his powers actually had a sound element to them rather than just, Havoc from X Men hands. You're taking the Viktor out of my Viktor.

Allison: We have no explanation of how she and Klaus found each other and fell in together. No info of how she and Reggie parted ways. We only hear that 'Ray left her' and nothing else. She says no one wants her at the party but then seems to know Gracie? Has she talked with Any of them since? Nothing was addressed from the end of last season, or even referred to being addressed in the past. I don't see the point of her new powers, or any of them having slightly off or new powers when then some of them don't? Either way, her rumours are so classic and now she's floating people? I see the link and if they'd been developing new powers over 6 years fine but no. You're taking the Allison out of my Allison.

Luther: Praise be, I did like Luther this season. He mentioned Sloane (shock horror, a love interest from a time gone by being brought up?!?! In TUA!!??) he was cracking me up and was really being Best Boy. Although I felt a lot of his dialogue was flat, and it seemed really out of character for him to start attacking the piñata? I don't think we've ever seen him physically lash out unless angry? It looked to me like 'oh yeah here's another silly gimmick that will be a haha. Diego, sure. Luther, no. They also decided (not surprised but always so disappointed) to make him getting ape-i-fied again humorous and not the soul destroying thing it would be. Also, why was he ape-i-fied??? His ape-ness came from the serum not the marigolds? Generally though, I really did enjoy him this season.

Diego: Love that we're throwing every over used marriage-in-pieces trope in the book at these two. Love that. Especially as they seemed to have sorted out some of their communication issues. I get their trajectories but was so deeply, Deeply bored watching it. Diego was sadly pretty dislikable for the whole season, which was real sad because I had grown to love him. There were some funny moments don't get me wrong, he's got too much personality to be a boring character, but whilst they didn't have to have a perfect marriage it was so dull and in hindsight such an obvious set up for the bleh that was to come. Plus they threw in a 'don't make me turn this car around' type moment to show how 'he's a parent now look wow' but I can't imagine any of the siblings hearing that and not laughing at him.

Lila: Again, marriage and wrong-conclusions and it was so boring. She's such a fun character and she was reduced to 'ooo how can we make her be a cheater and with Five' Why do you even need to do that? I just feel sad about it. And it doesn't help that we Don't Know Two Of Her Kids Names and neither her nor Diego seem to think of them for however long they're on the road, and she mentions them only once in the 7years of subway hell and both of them seem relatively undistressed without them. Sure, parents do need a break, but if you don't care about the kids visibly you know for sure I the audience member ain't gonna. Also why the eye lasers save for again a brief gag? It makes no sense when she then also has mimics abilities?

Claire: Let's give Claire a side note at this point. I do so hate it when shows decide to make children their parent's brains and moral compasses, take little to no time to show any bond between parent and child until the last 2 episodes, and instead choose to spend that time showing us how naturally fractious a relationship they have. Love that, so much. Never seen it before really. I get it's normal, but when ever other part of the show is cookie cutter predictable I don't need this too. Give her an actual personality that isn't "the wise old rebellious teenager"

Ben: Wow. So glad that A) I had to hear a character explain crypto currency for me, so glad we wasted precious time of a 6 episode series on that. B) Ben had changed 0%. C) that he had Even Less input and impact at the end emotionally than in any previous season and this one was About Him! And do you know why? Because D) they basically used star-crossed-lovers-can't-help-ourselves and made him use every creepy stalker OTT moving way too fast line in the books especially when Jennifer at a lot of moments was verbally saying she wasn't into it.. Also why does he talk about her like he's a 12 yr old and, idk, it was a shame to have no real impact from him until the end when he's suddenly scared and pushing Viktor away to save him but we see no connection from him and Viktor previously as to why he'd listen it would make more sense if it had been Klaus or Luther at this point.

Klaus: Now, I know a lot of his storyline this season came from the comic, and sure it's good material, that should probably have been used Throughout the seasons rather than crammed into 1 day. But let's chat for a hot mo: Now I like that we got to see him be nasty rather than the precious uwu Klaus that I've been guilty of perceiving at times, and that we see some of the negative effects of addiction on the family for the first time. Great moments, important. BUT. I'd have felt his rage out at Allison and turn to drugs would have been a lot more impactful if they'd bothered to show him waking up to the sound of being screamed at, barely able to hear his siblings, struggling to focus on them and wanting to drown it out. But we don't get that, the horror of what this means for him. Then we proceed to got through this whole let's have him want to get shot by a drug dealer (don't quite get why - or how Claire knows he's immortal now? did the powers back thing ever come up??) have him kidnapped and forced to prostitute himself, take more drugs (but still use his powers?) Develop a new power though without using the comic's fun quirk that he has to take his shoes off, and then bury him alive. Wow. this guy had plenty going on, but sure. Then -he can save himself, I thought this might become something poignant - he's able to conjure the dog to Go to Allison and lead them there, but no, he just gets rescued again. Gee I wonder what grave he's in Mom? All I don't know Claire, how about the Only One That's Been Dug Up? I thought it was really interesting to see his moments as a teen with Allison, and how he was living with her and thought they handled the worry about death/germs etc thing well tbf. Though also how the hell did he get home from being 13 hrs away and why nobody cared to go with him was pretty low.

Five: Dear lord that moustache was awful and I'm glad they all called it creepy and he had no concept. I despise 2 things they did here: made it canon that he gets romantic with Lila. Made going back into the literal apocalypse that he spent time having flashbacks about barely if at all affect him - it's unsure if his hesitation going back into it the second time was hesitation to go in there, and that's what I hoped they would do, but then, no. no. Please, Pleeaasse don't take away this nice, safe space I had in this nice, safe 'you literally can't sexualise him with anyone it would be so problematic' character and say 'they held out 7 years but yeaaahhh they hook up.' don't see why it was needed. It didn't 'heal' him, it was a plot for conflict but I've got plenty of other conflict plots that can end with Lila and Diego fighting without having to make every damn character have a god damn love interest! I loved their bond before, it was so fun and special to see a male and female not have to fall in love, and they ruined it. And it was for nothing? And they didn't have time to make the 7 years feel like 7 years and it was lazy writing for cheap conflict in my opinion. I hated it, I hate that it's "canon". I don't think I can describe just how awful I found it and unnecessary. I also don't buy that Five would be willing to not drink the marigolds as much as the others, or that there would be a timeline full of given up fives that sit around a diner. It was fun to watch though. And up until they started the montage in the subway and we knew where it was going I was enjoying Five in this season. that boy has had such a shit life and this is how it ends?

I will say that the flashback to them as kids was my favourite part of this series. It's always good to have a little deeper insight into how they interacted as children but I do have some Opinions here too of course: Reggie saying 'you look ridiculous' to Viktor, no, he made their outfits? I felt that was lazy writing when Reggie in the past has laid into Viktor's insecurities much more keenly: 'That outfit is only for your brothers and sisters / we've been over this, you're not special take it off / I will not have you wasting time with frivolity when the Academy has important work to do, leave us." etc. Also I thought there might be something different about why they all forgot their Ben memories. It was brutal yes, which I appreciated, but I can't believe that these guys wouldn't see their father kill their brother and not One of them flip their shit? Idk, it was a little... good and bad I guess.

I think that's it for now, if anyone read this far then well done! I might write a fix it post in a bit for my own entertainment.