#thoughts and feelings
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Pain and suffering are essential to human existence. Death is what keeps us alive, Love is what saves us from it all.
#love and death#i love poetry#i love writing#thought daughter#thoughts and feelings#poems and quotes#writeblr#poets corner#writing#just thinking#life and death#life and love#self love#love quotes#love#poetry#writers and poets#female writers#poem#writing life#thinking hard#just girly thoughts#girl blogger#girlblog#gothic#goth aesthetic
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My coworkers ask, “How are you?”
“I’m good,” I lie,
Because I don’t know how to explain
That my heart has broken
For two little boys
On the other side of the world
Who lie still in coffins,
Their lives cut short before they began.
And their mother,
Who did all she could to protect them,
Lying there alongside them.
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The more I dig into the lore around the Second Kinslaying for my current project, the more I'm fascinated by the detail that it was specifically Dior who killed Celegorm. That's one of the main details we get, we aren't even explicitly told who killed Dior, Nimloth, Curufin and Caranthir, just that they were slain.
Celegorm meets his end at the hands of the son of the woman he tried to marry, the son of the couple he fought against and I just love it when narrative threads come full circle (or parallel one another).
I know opinions differ in regards to the level of sexual or romantic interest Celegorm had in Lúthien, as well as the exact appearance of Dior, but this is why I love having him look like a male copy of his mother. I love the idea that Celegorm, in a way, sees her face one more time, but this time it's Dior's. I love the idea that the opponent he fights to the death looks like Lúthien. I love the idea that Dior's face may have been the last thing he saw.
And yes, I also love the idea that Dior may have wanted revenge for what happened to his mother.
If you then put the Silmaril aside for a moment, you can see a more private, personal conflict at the heart of this tragedy: Dior vs Celegorm, though Dior, true to his name meaning "successor", acts as a sort of stand-in for Beren, Lúthien and Thingol in Celegorm's perception.
It's just... ugh. So very fascinating and emotional and tragic.
#thoughts and feelings#silm meta#headcanons#silmarillion#doriath#second kinslaying#dior#dior eluchil#celegorm#just to be clear: this is not an anti celegorm post or whatever#i love all of these characters for who they are and enjoy their shenanigans
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Nobody dies a virgin. Life certainly fucks us all.
#desiblr#late night thoughts#thoughts and feelings#desi tumblr#desi tag#desi life#mini rant#rant post#facts
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#book quotes#bookish#quotes#bookblr#self love#thoutghts#poetry#self control#thoughts#self care#alone with my thoughts#thoughts and feelings#deep thoughts#inspiring quotes#just saying#situationships#relationship#toxic relationship#introvert#novels#book quote#quoteoftheday#life quote#booklr#poems on tumblr#love him#love her#i miss her#i miss him
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20.07.2024, 10pm-ish ✍🏼 reblog is ok, don’t repost/use
#my photos#my journal#my writing#journal#journaling#notebook#handwriting#thoughts#mentally tired#mentally exhausted#mental health#moleskine#thoughts and feelings#thoughts at night#dark academia#dark academia aesthetic#dark aesthetic#academia
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There's an interesting theme in the movie of grey areas in a world of binaries and I think the question of whether someone wants to be pope (or wants anything similar; power, fame, etc) falls in the same grey area. I don't think Aldo was lying when he said he didn't want to be pope, and I also don't think his later admission of ego in a moment of anger and stress negates the previous statement. He said it himself "Shameful, to be this age and still not know yourself" In a similar way I think Thomas's confession to Aldo that his popesona's name is John doesn't really mean that he ever truly wanted to be pope in his heart of hearts. I think part of Aldo wants to be pope and part of him realizes that it would suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck lol. I do think the part of Thomas that ever contemplated being pope is much smaller than Aldo's ambition though.
You can want something and not want it at the same time. Humans are weird like that. Part of you can be screaming; "That would be terrible, and I'd hate it. I'd be miserable the whole time, my life would be forever changed, and I would never be alone again, most of life's simple pleasures would be impossible, and it'd suck so bad. I'd be in a gilded cage unable to escape except through death." And another part of you whispers; "What if? I could do so much good, I could help people, I could change things for the better. I'd be powerful, people would have to listen to me! Am I really going to let THAT idiot do it? I'm not perfect but look at them! Imagine my name going down in history as the pope, etc."
If you're a good person genuinely trying your best who is nevertheless a human with flaws, it can be pretty easy to ignore or suppress the shallower or more ego driven motivations in favor of the more altruistic ones. They can still give faint pokes from the back of your brain now and again and maybe steer your actions in moments of weakness. Does that make your good intentions and motivations and thoughts all lies? Maybe you're lying to yourself by ignoring or suppressing some of your other thoughts and feelings, but even so, does the presence of contradictory thoughts and feelings make you a liar if you express them as you come to consciously know and feel them, or does it just make you a normal messy human? I'd argue the latter.
#conclave#conclave 2024#aldo bellini#thomas lawrence#truth#lies#thoughts and feelings#of course#aldo had to be all catholic about it#the only shameful part#was you being a dick to your friend aldo#you apologized#you don't have to police your thoughts my guy#you're fine#you learned and grew!#if the choice was between#you and tedesco#you'd absolutely be a better pope#he fits into thomas' homily#asking for a pope#who sins and asks for forgiveness
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something about pierre saying pre-season that working with esteban was a chance to get back to the friendship they used to have 20 years ago and now saying “it’s very formal. that’s all I can ask.” and “I know esteban won’t ask me out for dinner” and “I would not say we’re friends”
#stomach in knots etc#don’t get me wrong it was a mature interview it was interesting#and ‘managing Esteban’ yes okay sure babe#but this makes me a little? sad? idk?#thoughts and feelings#pierre gasly#esteban ocon#pierresteban#I guess
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My thoughts on BOWSER VS EGGMAN
This was easily my most hyped matchup thus far. Knowing that we were getting Bowser Vs Eggman this year, I was definitely more excited for this compared to Bardock Vs Omni-Man.
This matchup carries a fucking legacy with it. These are the two most notorious video game villains of all time, and the chance to see them actually bash against each other is something that, for Death Battle, has been a long time coming.
But was the episode good and did it live up to the hype? Let's see.
Everything is under the cut as per normal, because I will be spoiling the episode:
Okay. Short answer?
Yes.
Yes it did.
You want to know what my biggest regret for this fight was in general? The fact that I didn't think to grab a goddamn bucket of popcorn before I watched it because MY GOD.
I!
JUST!
WATCHED!
SOME!
CINEMMMAAAAA!
I'm gonna talk about this in the order that I normally talk about this, which means I'm gonna start by talking about the analysis, but...to be perfectly honest, I don't really CARE about the analysis this time, lol.
I think it's because it's honestly VERY hard to come by someone who DOESN'T know who either of these guys are and what they can do. Like I said, they're easily the two most notorious and well-known video game villains to ever exist. Even if you're not a gamer, no doubt you know who Mario and Sonic are, and by extention, you should also realistically know who Bowser and Dr. Eggman are.
With that said, I didn't really have a problem with either of these analyses besides the fact that they're a little hard to follow. They were intuitive, but it also just kind of felt like STATS STATS STATS NUMBERS MORE STATS MORE LORE STATS LORE LORE LORE!
Besides the overabundance of lore squishing and stat squishing, it's all good and kind of fun, especially in the editing.
Also, for Bowsers segment, it surprises me just how little time they spend talking about Kamek, despite how in the post-analysis, Boomstick mentions that Kamek is one of the largest reasons why Bowsers army triumphed.
And in Eggman's analysis, they brought up the Hard-Boiled Heavies and...I didn't even see them in the fight the first time I watched it.
Most of the limelight in terms of the minions was given to Kamek, Metal Sonic, Bowser Jr. and Sage, and that's kind of what I wanted anyway, but still, why bring them up if they're not going to show up?
And I expect this, and this isn't a nitpick at all, but there are several points where they talk about resources that don't really matter, because they're never actually used in the fight. They CAN use everything, but we'd be here forever if they did, it ultimately comes down to what's their best kit, and who's best kit is better.
But with that said, I will be coming back to this in the post analysis because there's something else that's kind of important that I need to mention.
Either way, what's most important to me with the analysis and post analysis is that bost combatants are respected, and made out to be as powerful as they can be, and for this battle, that was done very well.
Even listening to the stats, it didn't give me a clear indication of who was going to win in the end, and I actually think that's a good thing because it makes me more hyped for the fight.
Okay, NOW we talk about the fight! YES YES and more YESSSS!
I just want to take a moment to talk about the animator for this fight, MORO. With these analyses, I don't really talk about the actual animators behind Death Battle, because I treat all of them with an equal amount of respect, and I will only talk about the actual animator if the battle itself stands out.
And trust me. THIS stands OUT!
I said in my previous analysis of Joker Vs Giorno that I was really hoping that MORO would blow it out of the park with his battle, because that's what I cared about most of all, and holy fucking hell he DID IT and he DID IT WELL!
MORO first started working with Death Battle in Season 10, and no doubt bringing him on to work on the show was one of the best decisions that Death Battle have made in their entire run. Bill Cipher Vs Discord, Gojo Vs Makima, and Stitch Vs Rocket are just a few of his previous battles, and all of them were hype as fuck.
This one is EASILY the most hype though. The way everything happens in this fight, well...I could break it down and...you know what? I think I WILL!
Especially considering that...well, I can't speak FOR him, of course, but I get the feeling that MORO really loved animating this fight, because the thing I wanted to say about the post-analysis is that it features fully-animated scenes of the alternate outcomes, and a post-battle scene of Eggman's forces signing up for Bowser's army, which we haven't seen in YEARS.
I doubt MORO NEEDED to make these scenes, but he still did it because he cared so much about exploring these alternate outcomes, and covering everything that they discussed in the analysis, so they could go over all of them in the post analysis.
Because there are so many ways this fight could have gone, and thanks to this gigachad of an animator, we got to see all of them.
Okay, but the fight itself, and what we DID see in the MAIN sequence. Yeah...It's GODLY!
Something I absolutely loved about this fight was that going into it, we all knew that this was going to be an all out battle of armies, and everyone leading up to this was "This is less of a battle, and more of a war."
And goddamn it FELT like one!
The ambiance of this entire fight, from beginning to end, felt so goddamn chaotic and...honestly FRIGHTENING! Like, this goes above and beyond just the simple cartoonish antics of the Mario and Sonic series. This fight is fucking GRITTY, and EMOTIONAL! With stuff like the grey sky, the copious amounts of destruction that comes as a result of the fighting, the rain, the ambiance, etc.
And no, that's not me memeing. This generally felt like a short war flick, just with silly superpowers in it. There's genuinely a climactic and emotional weight to this fight, and one thing I noticed upon rewatching is that this lacks something that Death Battle is famous for, and yet it still manages to be a fantastic battle anyway:
Blood.
The lack of blood in this episode is pretty surprising, because when the characters die, they die in ways that replicate their deaths in the original games; i.e. kind of just popping out of existence. Even when Metal Sonic runs Bowser through post-transformation, there's no blood. Bowser just collapses to the ground.
And I actually don't mind it!
I genuinely think that even if this is a war, and it feels like a war thanks to the ambiance, if there was loads of blood, it would actually take away from the experience for me. The lack of blood doesn't reduce the impact of what's going on for me, and I think if there was this much gore, they'd be trying too hard. They were trying to make a spectacle of Mario's arch-enemy and Sonic's arch-enemy and their respective armies brawling each other, and they damn well succeeded.
This is very much backed up by the voice acting from everybody, which in general is very well done. Only three characters; Bowser, Eggman, and Sage, (Metal Sonic gets I think ONE line) speak in this. I don't actually know who voiced Sage, but they do a very good job, but even more importantly is Arthur Romeo as Eggman.
I don't know if Romeo was intending to go this route, but I really like that his Eggman impression is more reminiscent of Deem Bristow instead of Mike Pollock. I love Mike Pollock as Eggman, don't get me wrong, but Deem Bristow (for those who don't know, Bristow is the one who voiced Eggman in the Adventure games) really works for this fight because it's not the kind of scenario where Eggman would be the kooky villain that he is in a lot of the modern games, where it's kind of funny to see him fail.
This fight is treated VERY seriously, and the voice really works for it. As for Bowsers' VA, Zack Watkins (an animator who has been with Death Battle for a long time now, with his first animated fight being Batman Vs Captain America) his voice is pitch-shifted because...well, it HAS to be, because you can't really reach that low gruff voice if you don't. But when he DOES get a good line, he sells it really well. The highlight for me is Bowsers rage after Junior gets whomped by Metal.
The fight admittedly starts very weirdly, even if it's pretty funny. I think what was supposed to be going on is Eggman tricked Bowser into thinking he was marrying Peach so that he could get all of his forces in one place to wipe them out at once, which is admittedly cool in concept, but for me at least, I didn't get that on the first watch. It felt more to me like Eggman pulled a prank on Bowser, then announced that he was going to take over the Mushroom Kingdom.
Also, I know that people weren't very happy about the Snapcube reference, but...what's the problem with it? It's a neat reference, but you're not supposed to linger on it.
But yeah, in case I haven't sold it hard enough yet, this fight is brilliant from the establishing shot that shows the two armies and when they launch themselves at each other, right until the end when Bowser deals the final blow. MORO absolutely KILLED IT, and I CANNOT stress that enough.
Like, genuinely, there was so much stellar animation, and so much emotional weight, power, and feeling to this fight that it genuinely made me tear up a little, and I'm not joking. Like I already said, this was CINEMA, there is no other way to express it.
Side note: I genuinely wasn't expecting Infinite to be in this fight, but its hilarious how he shows up for about...10 seconds, does his bullshit, then dies almost immediately, and I...do NOT care, lol.
Honestly, had Infinite been in the fight any longer than he was, I might not have liked it as much. So to have him here to establish how Eggman has the Phantom Ruby and little more was honestly the perfect way to go about it, especially since we get a brief "clash" (I'm hesitant to call it that because King Boo basically just one-taps him) between Infinite and King Boo with their similar abilities.
And I love how in this scene, you can really see the difference between Bowser and Eggman in that, instead of trying to find a way to fight back against Infinite's control, Bowser is instead using his dark magic to protect his minions, and it's up to King Boo to take Infinite out.
That doesn't only show me how much Bowser cares about his minions like they're his family, but also that he TRUSTS them, because to me, it felt like he knew he couldn't take out Infinite without sacrificing his men, but trusted King Boo to do it.
Both Bowser and Eggman are written masterfully in this episode, and I'm glad because they are already such phenomenal characters on their own, and to show both of them for who they really are inside is wonderful, especially if it's done in a way that is this subtle that it doesn't take away from the action.
Just...GOD I LOVED THIS EPISODE!
I don't want to go into a full breakdown, because we might be here for a while, but beyond this opening sequence that shows how both of these sides are treating this war, here's a list of other moments in the fight that I think were absolutely godlike. And keep in mind this is just a FEW stand-out moments for me personally:
Metal Sonic's transformation into Neo Metal Sonic, and the step he does towards the camera before he pounds Bowser's ass.
The scene where Bowser Jr. turns Bowser into Fury Bowser, and Bowser's "SHOWTIME...!" as he transforms. As I said, even if his voice is pitch-shifted, and even if he lacks in the dialogue department compared to Eggman, when Zack Watkins delivered a line, he delivered it in a pristine package with a nice little bow wrap.
Sage throwing a legion of robots at Fury Bowser, and Kamek building a war of pipes to block it - Absolutely mindblowing choreography.
My absolute favourite moment in the fight: Metal Sonic Vs Shadow Mario, being a nice callback to Mario Vs Sonic, and Bowsers reaction when Junior gets knocked to the floor and is badly hurt. The rage in his voice and the blast he lets out that absolutely DECIMATES not just Metal Sonic, but creates a black hole that wipes out most of Eggman's fleet is so Dragon Ball-like.
Bowser shielding his ENTIRE ARMY against the Death Egg blast! THIS is the moment that made me tear up! Like, how could you NOT root for Bowser after this!? The guy absorbed the full blast to prevent his minions from getting annihilated, to the point where it completely shed his skin off his body and almost killed him, but he held his ground because he would rather have DIED than let his army; the people he CARES ABOUT, get wiped out by Eggman. And then the motherfucker comes back swinging anyway and ENDS that bald bastard!
Eggman's death isn't climactic for the death itself, but for what Bowser does to him during the sequence, as well as the actual setting. Again, the animation and choreography for this episode is godlike, but this shot at the end when Bowser is reassembling himself as Dry Bowser ready to deal the final hit, it's important to note that Bowser has his son at his feet, and his minions rallying behind him. They are in the middle of a warzone, many of their comerades have died, and yet they are STILL WITH HIM! And as for Eggman, he has no one. Not even Sage is there anymore. And as Bowser sucks him in for the final blow, Eggman exhausts all of his options, and Bowser counters all of them. Bowser's final line might as well have been "YOU'RE FUCKED!" because yeah, he just was, and Bowser let him know it regardless. (Also, it's revealed in the end that Kamek also survived, despite being knocked into the horizon by Metal Sonic.)
Alas, despite all this grandeur, I have one minor complaint. Granted, it's not a huge one, and it doesn't affect my overall opinion of the fight, but I still feel like I should bring it up.
I understand that it's next to impossible for every single one of these minions to get a time in the limelight, but what was important for me going into it was that Junior, Kamek, Metal Sonic, and Sage all got some time in the limelight to absolutely kick ass.
And most of them did...except Sage.
It's not like Sage did nothing, but compared to Bowser Jr. and Metal Sonic especially, she didn't really do an awful lot beyond throw things, block an attack, and activate the Death Egg when Eggman told her to. Metal was doing most of the fighting and yeah, okay, Metal is built for combat while Sage isn't, but Sage can still fight. I would have absolutely loved to see Bowser's son throw hands with Eggman's daughter though.
Again, it's not enough to completely throw my opinion to the wayside, but had Sage been given more to do, that would have made this episode absolutely perfect.
And overall, my least favourite part about this fight, genuinely, is that it ENDED!
Like, I KNOW these can't go on for more than a few minutes but I didn't want this fight to stop. I could watch a whole MOVIE about these two armies going at it.
More specifically I would watch it if MORO was the one animating it. But again, the guy has done MORE than enough.
And of course, the last thing that I have yet to talk about is the music.
My god the music, especially when it hits in the fight. Remember how I said my favourite moments in this fight were when Bowser rages over Junior, then blocks the Death Egg? A big part of what made those scenes so phenomenal is that the music went full-capital HARD for those scenes!
Like...Brandon Yates! HOW does he DO it!?
I genuinely think Brandon Yates is one of the best music composers of all time, and that's not even an exageration. I love all of the work he does for Death Battle and I love all the work outside of it. I love that the Death Battle crew are lucky enough to have found this man because he, and Therewolf Media too, are a massive part of why the Death Battle fights are so enjoyable to watch. Music makes these fights so good, and the modern episodes are so much better compared to the old episodes where they had to use other audio.
Also, I'm not gonna ignore Victor Borbo and Tyler Anderson who sung the vocals for the track, because they together are, medium, 50% of the reason why it absolutely slaps.
Final thoughts: When this fight was coming out, I genuinely expected that Eggman would win it. But now that I've actually watched this episode, and I got to see Eggman and Bowser at their full potential and doing everything they can to destroy each other, I actually think that had Bowser lost, I wouldn't have been as satisfied.
As they said in the post analysis, Bowser actually cares about his minions. Eggman doesn't, except for Sage. And as I pointed out, there are several points in the fight where Bowser actively tries to protect his minions over trying to take out Eggman's. When he defends them against the Phantom Ruby and Infinite, and then when he shields all of them from the Death Egg. And they REPAY that loyalty and kindness in the end, and are with Bowser during the final blow.
I was rooting for Bowser, but betting Eggman, but after this whole fight ended, I don't care what anyone else has to say about the stats, or whether things add up or not. That Koopa King EARNED and DESERVED THAT W!
It's honestly hilarious how I'm both a Persona fan and a JoJo fan, and Joker Vs Giorno didn't captivate me NEARLY as much as this spectacle did. It's not that I think Joker Vs Giorno is bad; I rewatched it a dozen times. But this fight is hands down the best fight they've done in YEARS! I think it even beats out my top contenders from Season 10.
My last note is the next time:
Okay, I wasn't expecting the 2024 finale to be such a meme matchup, but...I know that this was a thing that people kind of wanted to see, but I'm genuinely curious HOW they scale this with any kind of logic.
My current bet is on the Imposters because they actually kill things and have stuff in their bodies and equipment that are designed to kill, and the Fall Guys are just stupid beans that get knocked around a lot.
So my biggest thoughts about this are 1) how the fuck to you stage a fight between them, and 2) What kind of stats do you calculate?
Like, as a meme, I like this fight, but now that it's an official episode? I don't know, man. I really don't know how to feel about it.
Teaser was hilarious though.
Final score for Eggman and Bowser? 10 out of goddamn 10.
#death battle#mario#super mario bros#sonic the hedgehog#sonic#bowser#dr eggman#dr robotnik#bowser jr#bowser junior#metal sonic#kamek#kamek koopa#sage#sage robotnik#sage sonic#review#thoughts and feelings#db#bowser vs eggman#bowser vs dr eggman
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I run barefoot, shoes at the door
The air so sweet, I gulp and gasp for more
A night so still, I dance, I soar
Oh, this is what I’m living for
Air So Sweet - dodie
#just wilmon things#wilmon#young royals#just going through my screenshots because why not#help#thoughts and feelings
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As someone who has been hurt and traumatized a lot by toxic masculinity in real life, I cannot express how much the men in Tolkien's legendarium mean to me (there are many examples I could cite, but I'm going to stick to a few that mean the most to me personally and also don't get talked about as much).
I love how Manwë's first reaction is never anger. He is the Elder King, King of the Valar, King of Arda and he's not afraid to cry in public, to be worried and saddened and therefore show "weakness" instead of fluffing up big time and being angry just so he can pretend to be The Man. He's compassionate and believes in the good in people even when he shouldn't.
I love how Ulmo decided to help those he cared about, even if the people in question were not perfect to say the least and officially he was not supposed to be helping at all. He is neither afraid nor ashamed to care.
I love how excited Aulë was for the arrival of the Children (so much so that he made his own), how much joy he finds in teaching and being creative with others instead of wanting to be The Best At Everything and how he speaks up for other creatives too, trying to help others understand their mindset.
I love how polite and warm Eönwë is, giving a rather cordial greeting to someone who was technically trespassing in his home. He's a hero to me not because a line was included that he's the best warrior Maia, but because he's kind and wise, sparing Maedhros and Maglor because he knew the senseless violence had to end. And yes, I also love how old lore Fionwë was crushing on Arien/Urwendi.
So yeah, just some examples, but these are among the ones that stuck with me.
#obligatory disclaimer that this doesn't mean these people are perfect and always right#it just means so much to me that they are like this#ok? ok#manwe#manwe sulimo#ulmo#aule#aulë#eonwe#eönwë#valar#maiar#ainur#thoughts and feelings#silmarillion#silm meta#(kinda)
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Idk why but every christmas, i start thinking about spideypool, and i just can't stop again

#deadpool#spideypool#wade wilson#spiderman#peter parker#marvel#thoughts and feelings#thoughts and prayers#i think it's something about them being happy???? in life????? makes me??????? feel THINGS??
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sometimes, you miss a person, and sometimes you just miss who you were when they used to be around.
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lecturer said that a guy writing about having a passionate fling with a source is "a bit creepy" clearly Someone has never read a good book
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