#what he truly wants is a sense of belonging; acceptance; and security

[soldsouls]

after speaking to Raphael about the Crown of Karsus, you can ask Luci why he doesn't seem interested in it, and he's like "because I don't have lava rocks for brains"

[wyvernest]

cregan stark x f!targaryen!reader

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>>Queen Rhaenyra has sent you away from the brewing war to safety since your brother, Jacaerys, has secured the Pact of Ice and Fire. You have to honor it by marrying Lord Cregan Stark, Warden of the North.

chapter cw: sex in the hot springs, so smut, fluff, piv, two positions?, a bit of chasing as primal play, breeding kink

His thick arms hold you with undeniable ardour. The steam fuming from the waters in misty ribbons do little to clear your head, as your lord husband peppers the sensitive skin below your ear with kisses full of want.

One of your legs curls up around his own, as if on instinct; a seemingly romantic yet primal instinct of silently allowing him to have you. Your breathing only deepens when you feel the coarse hair on his leg, as if the embrace did not already bring your bare breasts against him, and every patch of your shivery skin under his touch.

Even with the clear ripples of the water, you sense something against your hip, and the breath leaving your lungs gets caught on a moan on its way out.

“My dear wife.” He mumbles with sincere infatuation, as your hands escape his hold and run down his massive shoulders.

“Wasn’t I to be less easy, Lord Stark?” You tease, with barely half a breathy voice, and he visibly tenses in pride at the name.

He stops, and when he moves his head away from your neck to look at you, you nearly regret even speaking as the reminiscence of his heated touch burns needily above your clavicle.

“You are anything but.” His tone is low and intimate, and it has your insides twisting and turning in anticipation. You wanted to have him fight for it, as late as it was. Though you are now unsure of how much longer you could bear it yourself. “Did you have a change of heart?”

“No.” Your answer shoots out fast, contrary to your desire to play a different game. “I only wish to relish this for longer.”

The slight twitch of his features when you clarify your intentions strikes a lighting into your already boiling blood; the twitch of a wolf whose prey evaded his swiftest attack. He knows she can’t run forever, but the hunt weaves frustration and eagerness on his face nonetheless. He accepts and loosens his possessive hold, though his eyes betray his thoughts.

A hunger so profound and restless darkens his gaze, and you almost want him to have refused your little diversion. To have taken you however he pleased, tell you that you’ll be the most perfect mother for his pups and show you what it truly meant to belong to a northerner.

But alas, you drift away into the crystalline pond, and even the smouldering waters feel colder without his skin on yours.

Your giggle bounces off the cave walls with an echo so sweet to his ears that you thought for a moment he may pounce on you and end the wait. But he remained restrained, slowly following you further behind stalagmites.

Luring him further deep into the springs, you twist and turn in the rippling waters from moment to moment just to gaze at him, just to see more and more of him; the way he carefully got up to freeze the image of you swimming naked in his mind. You watch the droplets run down his stomach, the shine of the dimly lit cave mirrored in his irises.

“You have such beautiful eyes, lover.”

“Lover.” He retorts, his tone almost a threat. “Nigh yours they’re naught but stones beneath frostfires.”

You blush at the deftness of his compliment.

“Though winter blooms only ever endure if they grow in the shadow of stout stones. There is more beauty in living to defend than in living to survive.” You declare, still backing away, intimidated but enticed by his stalking pace approaching you.

He smiles, distracted by your cleverness.

“We must be perfect for eachother then.”

He leaps with no warning, wanting to entrap you back in his arms. You avoid his swift hands only with the merit of water slowing him down. As he catches his balance, you push yourself onto your elbows on the edge of the pond, coming to raise to your feet in front of him.

It is the first time he truly sees you, no turned back, no waves or foam to veil you. His eyes rake across your body shamelessly, a reminder of how you’re his. The air, however steamy, hits you with the slightest cold gust, and your skin prickles with goosebumps, nipples hardening as your skin weeps with a sheer shroud of damp varnish; a statue of beauty and desire.

You ought to feel at the very least timid under his hungry gaze, but you don’t. You feel wanted, adored by his expression alone, and near want and adoration there is no place for coyness. You feel precious and pure, so that you offer yourself to him, allow him to touch you for he has earned it.

The sense of great importance yet dissolves quickly as he, too, rises from the waters, seemingly reaching for his prize. You don’t wait to see him entirely because if you did, you would have seen him at the cost of your freedom.

With a leap and a giddy scream, you sprint through the cave to evade him. Your heart thumps too fast for you to even have the courage to look behind, though you hear the water splashing violently in your wake. You decide to dive back into the pond and hide into a crevice.

You can only hear your rash breathing as you search around the rocky shores for him.

Suvion’s back horns twitch in his sleep, slightly disturbed by your raucous play, but nonetheless calm.

Strong arms curl around your middle, not tight enough to hurt and not loose enough for you to fight back. With a yelp, you give in and settle back against his chest, turning your head just enough to see his face. His erection brushes up your thigh, and you lose all willingness to delay.

“A man can only be so strong.” He adjusts his hold, keeping one arm around you, moving your hair from your neck with his other hand, baring the skin above your shoulder. “- when his pretty lady wife gets all naked and wet and dances around him so happily just to drive him mad.”

You feel his hot breath over your pulse.

“Do you enjoy seeing my need get so dire, flower?”

“I do.”

“Then it seems I have awfully neglected my duties as husband. I might just have to remind you that you haven’t wed some craven southern lord who doesn’t have the guts to take what is his when he wants it.”

You arch back slowly, feeling him up. He places a firm hand on your shoulder and pushes you into a more manageable position, taking you by surprise. You try to brace yourself with your palms on any stone you could find, while his own hands ride down your back, stopping at your hips to grip the supple flesh of your arse.

A pleasured gasp fills your lungs as Cregan brings his hard cock to rub on your tender flower. He groans at the feeling, teasing you so close yet so far from pleasure.

As your own hips begin to move in sync with his, chasing the promised intrusion, one of his hands roams your belly, your waist, his warm, calloused palm setting your skin aflame in its wake. His fingers reach the underside of your right breast, and your breathing stops; as if you’re afraid any more movement might dismiss his touch.

“Cregan.”

His palm remains on your ribs, and your whole being silently begs for him to continue.

“Don’t fret, I’m not leaving your side, wife. This is for your own good.”

“I don’t --” Your protest is cut short as both his hands reach your breasts, fondling firmly.

Your body feels inexplicably light and soft in his arms as he lifts your torso back against his chest, his large, rough hands not once breaking away from your tits. You’re cornered, at his will.

His mouth finds your neck, licking and biting away as you resume his motions where he stopped, pushing your ass into his groin and asking him in the most primal ways to take you at once.

“I cannot wait to see you heavy with child.” He caresses your lower belly, and you feel his cock twitch between your thighs in excitement at the thought. “Do you want that, my love?”

“Of course I do - ” You confess with a trembling, quiet moan.

“Say it, then, wife.” He interrupts, clearly overrun with heat and desire.

“I want – ah” He kisses down your neck, one of his hands leaving your breasts to slide his fingers over the petals of your cunt. He hums approvingly, bringing the head of his cock to your core. You’re soaked in more ways than one. “ - I want your babes, please, Cregan, you- ”

You mewl as he pushes in, the water splashing right above your knees. Pleasure shifts into pain and pain into pleasure as he takes your maidenhood, mounting you with a bruising hold on your waist. He groans with you, his breathing laboured. At a particularly sharp sting, you whimper, making him stop to plant a kiss on your shoulder blade. You can’t move, you can’t think of anything but him, the scent of him, the sounds that escape straight from his throat, his warm hands on you.

An echo of his guttural groans makes you clench around him, making him halt right before he could bottom out. You feel him up in your guts, though his girth stings worst.

He pushes you forward again, a hand on your neck and another providing leverage on your hip. Giving a few well measured thrusts, he starts to properly move. Your back arched for him, thighs parting, your essence coating his cock like you were made to take his seed.

Your own moans spur him on as he quickly finds his pace, relentless and steady. His heavy balls slam against your sensitive bundle of nerves, drawing your breaths out with every lunge of his hips into your behind.

“Fuck, I want to see you. Ugh, I want to-” He grunts, drawing his still hard cock out of your cunt with a pained curse, your own insides squeezing him on his way out.

You yelp as he picks you up the way he picked you up on the way back from the Weirwood tree on your wedding night, taking you out of the warm waters and walking over to his discarded furs on the cave floor.

The air is suddenly brisk on your damp skin, but your husband is quick to climb on top of you and shield you from the cold with his own body heat.

He gazes at you with such wonder and adoration in his eyes you, for a mere moment, swear you could faint from it all. When lust seeps back into his pupils you don’t fail to notice, his lips finding yours in a messy, wet kiss. You sigh into it to catch the breath you still haven’t found since he left you, he breaks it to groan as he grabs himself in his hand to re-enter you.

You both gasp, forehead to forehead as you meet again, his cock twitching as he once again pushes through your vestal resistance. When he begins to pound, you curl your legs around his hips and tangle your hands in his dark hair.

A sweet cacophony of conjoined sighs and groans reverberates into the cave walls, ever so slightly eclipsed by the waterfalls. With every thrust you start to climb towards your peak, and with every one of your “Cregan!”, “Yes, yes, yes, don’t stop!” he grows closer to his own.

Your own little death finds you as he presses his lips to the sensitive trails he’d found on your neck before biting down to muffle his own pleasure. He pushes in with a few final lunges, and you feel his cock pulsate and release his seed.

You suddenly grow insanely hot as you come down, though you don’t hesitate to snuggle at his side on the soft furs as he drops beside you panting and dragging your smaller frame with him.

“It took, lover.” You break the silence, speaking into his neck.

He turns to you, pleased and interested.

“I know it did.” You explain, smiling up at him. “I know it.”

“Even if it didn’t, we have plenty of time to try, flower.”

a/n if i missed tags sorry guys also will soon show u suvion<3

tags:

@ohsnapitzmarvelficrec @crypticlxrsh @louiselouve @karmaswitch @just-pure-trash @yujyujj @cost234 @dracaryxzs @cherrymallowtm @lady-targaryens-world @lightdragonrayne @krokietino @sukunassfinger @ithilwen-blackwood @rey26 @beebeechaos @melsunshine @aemondwhoresworld @romeavecryst @raynetargaryan2 @fireandblood-mharmie @mitski9328373 @drwho-ess @dorkysupernova @nitimurinvetitumsposts @ghitakhnifissa @darylspersonalwhore @helo1281917 @delaynew @poochies04 @accidentpronedork @fiction-fanfic-reader @rha3nyra @wallacewillow0773638 @star-serpent @potionsclub @moadvx @jellybeanstacey0519 @italianchameleon @ephemeralninon @sithapprentice @cloveradora @hawkins-2000 @thatspiderwebinthecorner @wolvestitches @idohknow @nyxbranwenn @asteria33 @nina6708 @r-3dlips

[mythicmanuscripts]

Hi! I love your blog so much. I'm literally obsessed! I've wanted sub aemond content for so long and your account is like an oasis in the desert.

I was thinking about aemond and how for so long he felt unwanted and unloved, like he didn't have a place among his family. Because of this I think he'd really like reader telling him "Your mine", even more so than being told "im yours". Not in a aggressive or possessive way (although I do think he'd like reader being protective of him) but in the sense that someone loves him so much that they would openly claim him as theirs. That they aren't ashamed of him or for others to know he's all theirs.

I also think it provides him some sense of security. Like he feels so safe knowing he belongs to you so he doesn't have to worry about anyone else.

Idk if this makes sense, hopefully it does😭I just can't stop thinking about this, I've had it on my mind for a while now.

Oh my god I love this!!! This is so perfect everything you wrote here is incredible.

There’s nothing explicit in my answer but it is very clearly sub!Aemond and has some suggestive tones so I’ll hide it under the cut just in case :))

So I think Aemond really struggles with the idea of being anyone’s first choice? He grew up as a second son, always teased and mocked and never taken seriously. He didn’t expect you to be any different.

The first thing you do that really shows Aemond how much you care for him is just how loyal you are? I’m thinking of a situation where you and your family are at the red keep to look for a husband for you, and obviously your family are trying their hardest to secure an betrothal from Aegon because he’s king.

But then Aemond catches your eye? You end up having a very simple conversations with him, and you know pretty much instantly that he’s the one you want. Aemond wants you too of course. He hasn’t felt this accepted in his life and he absolutely loves talking with you. You and him sit together at the far end of the table every dinner, taking amongst yourselves and Aemond doesn’t even acknowledge anyone else. He takes every scrap of your attention that he can, especially because he’s so certain that your parents are angling for Aegon and that once the betrothal is announced he won’t be able to spend time with you like this again.

You put a spanner in the works. After a few weeks at the red keep you tell your family in no uncertain terms that you want Aemond and Aemond only. Your family is hesitant, both because Aemond is the second son and because Aemond is known to be violent and cold.

But you insist.

When your parents go to Aemond to tell him that you have expressed your desire to marry him instead of Aegon, the poor lad just about feints. He says he would be honoured of course, and then the moment they leave he’s sprinting across the castle to your quarters.

You’re confused to see him knocking on your door. You know you shouldn’t open the door because people might see and rumours may start but you couldn’t care less. He is here, so you will let him in.

At first you actually think he looks upset? When you ask what’s going on he just softly asks, “Do you really want me? Did you mean it when you told your parents I was your first choice?”

You don’t even get to finish the word “yes” before he’s barrelling forwards and pulling you into a tight hug. He buries his head in your shoulder and clings to you. He’s so overwhelmed to hear that someone actually chooses him, never mind it being someone he already wishes he could marry.

You hug him back of course, and then when you try to pull away he just grips you tighter. It's like he's afraid if he lets go of you that you'll disappear. You end up having to just rub his back and whisper that you mean it, that you aren't going anywhere.

Aemond truly doesn’t even know what to do with himself when you tell him that you never even considered Aegon, from the moment you saw him no one else came close.

This is definitely where the possessiveness comes in, because there’d be a period between expressing this and actually having the betrothal ironed out and announced.

Until then, all the other male suiters try to get your attention and win your love and it drives Aemond absolutely insane. You actually have to watch him very closely or else he will lure a suitor into the gardens and kill them. He’s threatens to plenty of times.

A big part of this possessive comes from the fact that he honestly is just waiting for the other shoe to drop? He’s so certain that one day you'll wake up and realise what a terrible decision you've made and beg for the betrothal to be canceled.

So every time you talk to another man, he's so so convinced you'll prefer them and tell him that you don't want him anymore. Which is why he absolutely hates seeing you with other people because he thinks every time he's losing his chance.

And so every time you walk back to him and tell him that you can't wait for your parents to officially announce the betrothal he nearly starts crying. He's watching you choose him over and over again and he truly cannot believe it.

As much as he's very traditional and respectful, I think he kinda just falls apart when faced with the fact that you genuinely want him? He tell himself he'll do this the right way, the way that's expected of him but he can't control himself when he's faced with the reality that you actually genuinely want him.

I don't think you two would be able to wait until marriage for that exact reason. He cannot stand the thought of another even considering being with you and honestly he can't even sleep thinking about it.

He ends up knocking on your door most nights and spending hours with you. He can't get enough of you, and he especially can't get enough of hearing you say you love him and want him. How could he ever be expected to spend the night alone knowing that a few floors down there's a woman he absolutely adores who will open her door and let him cuddle her and hear about her day?

He cannot be expected to spend the nights alone and to watch you speak to others and to wait patiently until the betrothal is announced. He never expected to find someone who makes him feel loved and safe and now that he has found you he will never ever let you go.

[south-of-heaven]

Can I have a Priestly x Fem reader with "You've begun to feel like home" I need some sweetness 🥺

Home || Rhea Ripley x Reader x Damian Priest

Summary: You feel at home with Rhea and Damian.

You had always felt a bit lost, searching for a place where you truly belonged. But all of that changed when you met Rhea and Damian. From the moment you entered their lives, you knew you had found your home.

With Rhea and Damian, you felt a sense of comfort and belonging that you had never experienced before. They doted on you, showering you with love and affection, and you couldn't help but fall in love with them in return.

One lazy Sunday afternoon, you found yourself lounging on the couch with Rhea and Damian, nestled comfortably between them. The warmth of their bodies enveloped you, and you felt a sense of peace and contentment that you had never known before.

Rhea's arms were wrapped around you, and she placed a gentle kiss on your forehead. "You're everything to us, you know that?" she whispered, her voice filled with love.

You smiled, feeling your heart flutter at her words. "And you both mean the world to me, this time I've spent with you is the first time I've felt at home." you replied, your voice filled with sincerity.

Damian leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek. "We love you so much," he said, his voice a sweet melody.

You leaned into him, feeling the strength and security that his presence brought. "I love you both too," you said, your voice filled with emotion.

With Rhea and Damian, you felt truly seen and cherished. They loved every part of you, even the parts you had once considered flaws. They made you feel special and valued, and you couldn't ask for anything more.

As the day turned into evening, you found yourself snuggled up in bed with Rhea and Damian. They wrapped their arms around you, holding you close as you drifted off to sleep. In their embrace, you felt safe and loved, and you knew that this was where you were meant to be.

From that day on, your life was filled with love, laughter, and happiness. Rhea and Damian showed you what it meant to be truly loved and accepted for who you were, and you treasured every moment with them.

With Rhea and Damian by your side, you knew that you had found your home. And as you drifted off to sleep, wrapped in their love, you felt a sense of gratitude and contentment that you had never known before.

In their arms, you had found everything you had ever wanted – a place where you truly belonged, and two hearts that loved you more than words could express. With Rhea and Damian, you knew that you had found your forever. And in that moment, you couldn't help but smile, knowing that your heart was finally where it was meant to be.

[mewmewpercy]

Why Lantern Rite 2024 Was A Trans Allegory

Ever since seeing the entire 2024 Lantern Rite I've been debating making this post because I feel like I was the only one who saw it and maybe it was just me looking too hard at things. It's only because a friend of a friend also agreed that this story was a trans allegory as a fellow trans guy that I'm finally making this post.

This post will be written as chronologically as possible with explanations for why each mentioned part is important.

Let's start with when Gaming first discovers lion dancing. When he first discovers it from watching with his family he instantly knows that that's who and what he is. There's no hesitation and no confusion. How does this apply to being trans? Well a lot of trans people figure out early on in life that they're trans by seeing or hearing about fellow trans people. We find that feeling of belonging and knowing that's who we are and always will be. Suddenly everything makes sense and we grasp onto that knowledge because that's important to our character.

Some time after discovering lion dance Gaming is very open about wanting to go down that career path. His dad is very against it and it causes a rift between them. This is pretty common when coming out as trans. You finally build up the confidence to say that's who you are and then the person or people you think would support you no matter what tell you that you're wrong. They tell you that you don't know for sure so they outright deny what you know is your truth. And obviously that'd cause a rift in relationships.

Later on Gaming gets older. He isn't talking to his dad as much and is still secure in his knowledge that lion dancing is an integral part of his identity. Neither of them budge on their ideas and after a big fight Gaming runs away. As sad as it is that's fairly common for trans people too. You try to give every reason you can as to why and they don't listen. Emotions build up and suddenly you're so exhausted from trying and failing over and over that you just leave.

After that they don't talk much. Gaming becomes a lion dancer and is happy knowing he can do what he's wanted to for years. They continue not speaking to each other for years. Gaming meets somebody(Traveler) and decides to trust them with this story. They go on to tell people they think can help and next thing these two know they're being forced into an awkward conversation where outsider influence tries to prove they're better off now and here's why. As a person who was deeply uncomfortable with this entire situation from a trans and parent issues perspective please don't do this without consent. This could make things arguably worse and whoever confided in you may lose trust. Ask for consent. But that aside this is a method people use that has worked. Getting someone unrelated to the bigger situation to play mediator and help prove that they're doing okay or maybe even better can and has worked.

When this doesn't seem to change much everybody seems to give up. The subtle change that only Zhongli was able to really get from Yip Tak was important because when he finally has the revelation that he was looking at things from a very limited perspective clouded by what he thought was important. That often happens with older people. They don't view the world from any lens besides theirs so it takes getting someone more uninvolved to help them understand and work through the bias that comes from being a different generation.

The final and most important moment is the iconic lion dance scene we all know and love. Yip Tak sees his son free, happy, and comfortable and it's finally set in stone that he truly understands his son. This is by far the most important part of this being an acceptance story. Finally seeing how happy it makes that person when they're allowed to be themselves and then being there for them afterwards is where that bridge starts getting repaired. I think that's why I cried so hard at the hug scene.

No matter if you view the story as a trans allegory or just an unnaccepting parent learning to accept their kid it's still such an emotional moment.

[flipping-the-coin]

[Audio file: #003 - Lies]

[Audio file of Optimus Prime: Security level = PRIME]

[Authorization detected… Confirmed]

[Audio playback commencing… Recording begins]

═════════════════

Lies have been a part of my life for as long as I have functioned, and that is not just because I was the one spinning them. My entire reality was built on a set of lies given to me mere stellar cycles after my creation. Alpha Trion gave me a cover story to make sense of the fact that my behaviors no longer matched those of my host perfectly. At the time I was too afraid and too young to question, I did not see the harm. I did not understand why such a lie could be dangerous, and so I allowed the belief that I was merely a reforged version of Orion Pax to circulate. 

In my mind, it was better that they believed me to be someone familiar rather than a calculating stranger wearing the face of one they held dear. I was not an emotional or experienced being in the beginning, but I was no fool. I knew I would never be accepted and be allowed to lead the Autobots if the truth of my creation were to become common knowledge. Thus, my duty came first, and the lie festered, growing and becoming putrid as time passed and I finally began to understand what the lie meant, what it entailed, and just how slagged I really was.

Everything I made myself into happened to be built upon the lie Alpha Trion had me weave. By the time I was aware of the cruelty and immorality of the falsehood, I couldn’t say a word. Every single one of my Autobots believed the lie, they thought I was Orion Pax given new form. They assumed that my initial lack of emotion and understanding was because of the trauma of war and the workings of the Matrix. They did not suspect that a being from between the stars crept within the protoform of the one they truly cared for like a parasite. How was I to tell them what I was when doing so would have shredded my entire existence?

I had no guide, I had no one to fall back on. If my Autobots decided to turn on me and forcefully remove me from my host’s frame… I would have been near powerless to stop them. And in turn… I would have either perished with my duty unfulfilled and my loved ones stripped from me, or I would have been locked away, left to wallow and lament my ill gotten existence. I could not allow that to be my reality, especially since with time, it became clear Megatron knew I was not Orion Pax, he knew I was something other and if given the chance, he would have gladly torn me to pieces.

It was selfish, but I didn’t want to die. I didn’t want to leave my sparkling and my beloved to reel at the reality of my nature and the brutality of my near inevitable death in that scenario. I wanted… No, I needed to keep playing along with the lie that my life was built upon. I refused to lose everything just because it originally belonged to another, no matter how cruel continuing to pretend was. 

With all that said, I am no stranger to lies. I have always tried to not outright give false information. I much prefer to offer intricate tales when I need to be careful with what data I give away rather than throwing out a direct falsehood. It is easier to ensure sensitive data is kept secure by avoiding giving certain pieces of information through clever wordplay and careful handling of statements. I am by no means innocent considering my entire existence was a walking lie, but when I could… I wanted to try and alleviate some of the guilt by offering what truths I could. 

It is in my nature to keep that which hurts others to myself. I hate seeing others suffer because of a truth that is too much to bear. Hence my desire to keep certain details to myself. I understand intimately the thought process behind keeping information from others. In my experience, it is usually done out of love. Sometimes it is simply for the best to not reveal the full truth until the partial truth has settled. Even then… it is not always best for everything to be laid out truthfully. Sometimes it is better for others to live in ignorance, that way they can continue without fear… without knowledge of the horrors hidden behind the veil.

I did not tell Bumblebee the state in which I found his Caretakers when I tracked them down for many vorns. All I told him when he was young was that they perished. I originally had no intention to find his Caretakers for fear that they would be alive and my little warrior would be taken from me. But I felt the need to at least find some sort of closure should Bumblebee ever want to know more about where he came from. Not only that, but I had… plans in the event that his Caretakers were alive. I had no intention to give up what I had been gifted, and while I am not proud of it, at the time love and care were new emotions for me. They were not yet strong, and I was fully prepared to eliminate Bumblebee’s Caretakers if the area was secluded enough and the danger they posed was too great. 

I had no reason to be so concerned. His Caretakers were located via CNA tracking and identification and their corpses were found skewered in Decepticon territory, a symbol. Looking into their records showed they were Autobot supporters and thus were labeled as combatants when their city was overrun. It was a miracle Bumblebee made it out alive… and while it pains my spark to admit it… I am glad his Caretakers died. Without Bee, my life and my mind would be so much darker. 

Lies made me. Lies gave me life. Lies became part of my very spark as both a way to protect myself and as a method to protect others. They are a core part of my being, no matter how much I despise that fact. It was not my fault that I came into being this way or that I endured this fate. But I know the lies I continue to spin through my simple methods of leaving out information and creating metaphors and intricate tales are sins of my own creation. I did not choose my beginning, but I am deciding my future whether I like it or not. 

It feels as though I can not escape this spiral of lies I continue to weave for others and that I create to comfort myself. I am a Prime, I cannot falter or fall to my emotions. It is not my place. Thus I will continue to tell myself these falsehoods and make myself believe I am some sort of innocent victim in this storm. I cannot help it… I do not wish to believe that I truly was a leading cause in so much pain… and that my creation was nothing but a stain on this world and its people. I want my life to have meaning, for my existence to lead to something good. Yet with every passing cycle, I see more and more of the cracks and faults that I made from my own foolish, despicable, abominable, and parasitic nature. 

When I leave this place of solitude, my mind will once again weave its lies to have me no longer capable of seeing the possibility that I was wrong. It is as though the very Matrix itself does not want me to consider the chance that I might have been the core of this disaster that has caused the children of Primus so much agony and torment. 

If I were never forged, Orion Pax and Megatron would have gone on with their plans. It would not have been the perfect world I envisioned, but it would be more just. They would have rebuilt everything, created a realm where all mecha are equal and given the chance to pursue their freedoms. They would have abolished the slavery and the castes. They would have made things right and maybe even brought me into being willingly and with care when the time was right. I cannot predict what could have been, but I know my very creation brought an end to any sort of pleasant conclusion to this tale. 

I am that which was unwanted. I am that which hailed the end for our kind and was only stopped due to the torment my host inflicted on me. If not for him, I would have carried on. I was never meant to be. I was merely a monster that was created because it was what was deemed best by mecha too foolish to understand what birthing a Prime entailed. 

I want to live, but I now know that everyone would have been better off if I had never had my spark ignited.

═════════════════

[Recording ends.]

[akumanoken]

"WHAT IN THE NINE HELLS ARE YOU THINKING???"

The king was a shade of scarlet the princess had never seen before, and while he stormed back and forth, aside from a sharp inhale when the king approached menacingly toward him, Sakura felt a strange sense of calm. "Father pacing and getting upset will do you no favors. It would not do for you to fall ill from stress--"

"STRESS OF YOUR MAKING!!!" The king nearly shrieked. "What compelled you to--"

"Tell our people the truth?? To tell them that they have been lied to?? Because they deserve to know, Father. You and I both know that this plan, while in good faith, was doomed from the start. You wished for me to what.. to marry a man who had no idea who I truly was, to somehow not be offended that instead of a woman who could bear him a child he was given me instead, and not wish to retaliate in some way?" Silence. "You know it's a fool's errand, and yet you persisted. And I followed along because all I wanted to do was keep Makoto safe… to do what I could to make you proud."

"And so what changed your mind? How does this secure any future for Makot-"

"What good does lying do?? I get found out as male, slain in the best case scenario, war waged against Makoto in the worst!! There is no merit in your plan, Father. It died the moment I was born. We both know this. As for making you proud…" His calm mask cracked then, and he turned away. "I was never entitled to that. We both know it. I cannot be someone you're proud of… because all I am is a lie. Because to you, all I am is a failure. Because I am not the princess you want me to be. Because I am who I am. I have made peace with that."

There was a bitter silence, and Sakura clenched his teeth, shaking a little. No rebuttal, no half-hearted attempt to call him wrong. Nothing. "But I do not live for you, Father. I never have. My life belongs to our people. I will, now and always, put their needs above all else. Above mine, and most certainly above yours. I will continue to learn all I can, to grow and become someone worthy of queendom. As for what has happened… I do not expect you to appreciate it, but it has happened. All that can be done is to accept it. You may take your time." He did not look back, leaving the room.

[stellarsolarisblog]

Dragostea ta arde ca răsăritul soarelui (Valentin Rusmanov x OC )

Chapter 1. Spider and the fly

New York City has never been quiet. Even during the faintest hours it refused to be silenced. Too many lives were being lived, too many tongues conversing at once, too many souls needing comfort. There was a certain charm to it; a person has a way of knowing they belong there. The city was as alive as a human, its heart beating in sync with those who can match it, inviting them in the concrete jungle of urban life.

It was not uncommon for people to hate navigating it at first. It was not the safest city to treverse and it made its dangers evident upon arrival. It was survival, only those capable were welcome as they could see through the noise and glamour, captivated in its secrets. The shadows of the city were inviting to some, those who yearned for the crowd as its blanket provided perfect cover for their more mischievous activities.

The tall, glooming buildings acted as urban canopies, the crooked and tucked away alleys were not unlike a hollowed out log perfect for a stealthy predator. Such predators varied; some were lowlifes that have either been born as such or cast away from society. There were those who were made that way by unforeseen events that brought them to the darkness which engulfed them.

In the latter category of predators, there were subcategories. The differences were simple; how the predator hunts their game. Some had no choice but to hide in the same alleyways and attack from the darkness, others had many resources which granted them unique advantages over their prey.

The promise of a better life, the false sense of security, friendship, epic romance only available in prose and many other empty promises. So, pick your poison. New York will choose the provider for you. The reason this worked was simple. Wealthy socialites had connections all over the world. They know more than you ever will. They can plan your future out for you without your consent and the best part it; you’ll be oblivious to any of it. Not unlike how a spider weaves its intricate web then sits back and waits for the poor fly. The fly can, of course, resist the web and try to flee. This only amuses the spider and provides entertainment as it enjoys its meal.

In this story, I am the fly. I’ve always had the uncomfortable feeling that I was one. Never in my life have I felt truly at peace and in control. I’ve always known there was something being hidden from me. Other children on my street were allowed to play until the streetlamps turned on, I was ushered home as soon as the sun moved a bit too close to the horizon. I could never fully make my family tree despite my teacher and her calls home to complain about my missing assignment.

Dinners were never comfortable, either. My father would come home late, if he came back at all. My mother barely spoke to him and the tension was obvious. All I knew about his job was that it involved the British government. What he was actually employed to do, he never specified. As I grew older, I started sharing my mother’s suspicions of an affair. I hated him for it, the thought of looking at his face and knowing that the man who made me and who was supposed to raise me and protect me was a stranger to me was disheartening.

He was never there. He never showed to my recitals, school events or graduation. He never showed any interest in the fact that I, as his only daughter, was at the top of my class. My mother was over the moon when she heard that I got accepted into Columbia. She wasn’t as ecstatic when I told her my chosen major.

For as long as I remember, I was drawn to the science behind investigative work. I wanted to understand how killers were caught, I wanted to aid in the noble cause of ridding the streets of dangerous individuals who rejected their humanity.

A degree in forensics was sure to set me on the right path.  Something told me I won’t be coming back there anymore. I felt shameful leaving my mother virtually alone, stuck in a dead marriage with nothing to do but housework, seemingly only for herself as of today. Logically, I knew this was a natural turn of events. I couldn’t stay with her my whole life. She was, and continues to be, a good mother. Lord knows she tried to be a good wife, my only hope is that she finds herself again.

Another thing I forgot to mention, losing yourself in thought was dangerous here. Of course, depending on location. Currently, the Columbia library was empty. Under normal circumstances, this would have pleased me. That implies there are no freshmen treating the library like a café in which they can get to know each other and gossip about which professor was the cutest, which was the meanest and which was the friendliest. I saw no harm in this, usually. But exam season was approaching. I had to focus and I couldn’t afford any loud noises distracting me.

The thing about New York was that you learn to appreciate the noise and feel uneasy in the silence. The library was the only exception for me. There was something comforting in the smell of books mingled with coffee and energy drinks and the students consumed in excess.

I always knew my study session was coming to an end when I stretched and my spine cracked in place. The clock on my phone indicated it was almost midnight and if I wanted to avoid the frustrated huffs and puffs of the librarian, I should start packing up and leaving sometime soon.

It was a relatively quiet evening. Other than the usual noise from traffic, there was really nothing happening outside. It was colder than the previous evening so I stuffed my hands in my University issued hoodie, careful to place the many keys I carried around my right hand knuckles inside. You learn to live with these sorts of things implemented in your daily routine, so it didn’t bother then average New Yorker.

Nothing grand happened on the walk home, I took my usual routine through Central Park to the crappy apartment building I lived in. While crappy, the price was steep because of the slight glance I got to Central Park. I lived in a small studio. You couldn’t separate the usual rooms a home consists of, but it was close to campus, I had a convenience store nearby and all the necessary utilities.

I kept to myself. I was never a great socialite nor did I ever wish to be one. The small space was perfect, it was easy to clean and I generally had no issues with my daily routines. All in all, I had a pretty standard way of living as a student. I wasn’t spending more than I needed, I did my task with varying success and I was content. There was nothing I could have asked for that wouldn’t be pushing my luck.

Life has a funny way of reminding you that you are not the only one making these calls, however. Every time things would start looking up, I knew something was cooking in the astral planes to shift the balance. I did make the spider and the fly analogy for a reason, after all.

[guaxinimraccoon]

jesus christ why-

oh mY DEAR GOD-

FIRST OF ALL I'm SO sorry for taking so damn long to answer those, I've been really really busy and I'm very sorry, I'm doing my best to answer everybody ; o ;

BUT FINALLY let's talk about our big last Euphoria reveal (about four months ago but ok-), where I showed you guys that Alex is Brad's father and Elisa is Toby's mom.

"BUT GUAX WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK??? HOW?? WHEN??? WHERE??"

SHUSH , CALM YOUR TITS DOWN and let me explain:

Ok, so I'll be putting some links here and there because yes, Alex and Elisa's story is very, VERY connected to Brad and Toby's. 

And get ready for a veeeeeeeeeeeeery long post. You were warned.

As you all already know, Alex and Elisa had a troublesome meeting, but eventually got closer to each other, they fell in love yadda yadda yadda BUT their will to get closer to each other, in other words, their relationship brought HUGE consequences.

Yes, they did manage to build a healthy relationship, they were happy, they were fine.

But they were also adults, adults that wanted something serious and concrete, they couldn't spend the rest of their lives as forbbiden lovers.

So Elisa did something literally illegal. She did a potion that was forbidden by the Colony authorities - a shrunken potion - to get closer to Alex.

Those potions were never developed, they're rustic and really antique, so they could do more harm than good or not work at all.

But Alex didn't care, he took the risk and drank the potion to get closer to his girl, the woman that was the love of his life.

The effect of the potion is temporary, so Alex would drink them from time to time whenever he had the opportunity to visit the Colony, spend some time with Elisa and, of course, be a part of her life.

He wasn't just trying to "be like her", he was also trying to be a part of her home. He made friends with her friends, he met her family, he met new imps, new fairies, all of it under his "imp disguise". He even fought for the Colony at it's war times (that is lasting till the current story time). He EVEN presented himself with a more “impish name” - Turk - to make sure people wouldn’t suspect anything.

Of course, people eventually started to ask why didn’t he live in the Colony with Elisa, why did he only showed up from time to time. Alex and Elisa lied, obviously, they told everyone that Alex belonged to a secluded imp tribe that lived walking around the forest as nomads, which made sense since those types of imp communities do exist.

ANYWAY THE POINT IS Alex grew affectioned of those people and with their lifestyle. He started to feel like he was one of them. 

And, of course, he was now closer than he ever was to Elisa.

Since they were different species, they never worried about having kids. I’ve never said this before but Alex is a doctor, he knows about this stuff, so he always made sure to reassure Elisa that "they were their own condon" and, as sad as it may sound, they couldn't have kids.

... Or so Alex thought.

You know how tigers and lions can have offspring together? Yeah, it's the same thing.

It's very hard to happen, but they spent YEARS together if you know what I mean so yeah

That's how Alex and Elisa gave birth to their first child: Tobias, the only one of a specie that is a mix between human and imp.

His parents were really worried at first, afterall, they new NOTHING about Toby's condition. They didn't know if he was going to grow as large as a human or if he'd assume imp proportions forever. After some research with his son's blood, Alex found out that Toby was indeed half human and half imp, but he was predominantly physically an imp. That means his biological features are, mostly, imp like: he'd hardly grow as large as a human through his life's course and could live as a normal imp in the Colony. The fact that he showed talent for magic (once he was old enough to do so) and was able to do it just like any other imp in the Colony also made things easier.

Elisa and Alex chose to raise Toby in the Colony, they believed it’d be healthier and safer for him (especially after some events that I’ll be talking about in other posts), although it hurt Alex to pretend that he was an imp to his son and that he couldn’t see him everyday. 

Even if they couldn’t see each other everyday, Alex and Toby were very close. Toby loved his daddy very much and was very attached to him.

After five years after Toby was born, Elisa got pregnant again and gave birth to their second child: Bernardo (that’d eventually be nicknamed as “Brad”), one of the two only beings of the specie Alex and Elisa accidently created together.

For preucation, Alex took a bit of Brad’s blood and made some research, just like he did to Toby.

And what he found out wasn’t exactly... relieving.

Brad, just like Toby, was half human and half imp, but he had expressed mostly human features in his physical body. He was as small as a baby imp now, but it was a matter of time until he started to grow very VERY large.

Unlike Toby, Brad couldn’t live as an imp in the Colony and things got very complicated for them.

Alex wanted to leave. He told Elisa the Colony’s community would NEVER accept their youngest, they would never accept Alex and probably wouldn’t accept Toby either. They had to leave that place before they couldn’t hide the truth anymore, even if it cost revealing Toby, a five year old child, that most of his life was a lie.

But Elisa was hesitant. She didn’t want to leave her home, her parents, her friends. She knew Alex was right, they couldn’t stand that play for too long, but how to leave everything she had built behind? How to leave everything she knew as home behind? It wasn’t that easy.

Until something very bad happened.

Remember I said Alex made a few friends in the Colony? So, one of them was Stefan, a experienced fairy soldier that had known Elisa for as long as she was alive. He was pretty much her best friend (even if he was old enough to be her father) and now he was also great friends with Alex.

Stefan is important here. He has a very tragic backstory involving humans. He lost pretty much everything to them: his whole family and his wings, something that meant more than just flying to him.

So, as expected, he hates humans and truly believes that they are nothing more than monsters that try to manipulate you and to get advantage from imp’s and fairy’s magic. 

After some years, he started to get very suspicious over Alex. Some things weren’t making any sense anymore and that “nomad imp community” was starting to sound way more like an excuse than the actual truth. He simply didn’t understand what was stopping him to live with Elisa and his sons for once.

So he did some investigation. One day, he followed Alex (that he knew as Turk) out of the Colony, in one of the days he had only come to visit his family. Alex had said earlier that he had to “go back to his own society”. Yeah, right. Stefan was hiding the whole time and followed Alex till a good distane from the Colony’s limits. 

And he didn’t get exaclty happy to see his best friend growing impossibly huge out of nowhere.

Stefan now knew the truth: Alex was pretending to be an imp using shrinking potions. He didn’t belong to any nomad imp group, he was a human that lived in his own house and was coming to the Colony to play family with them.

Of course, he didn’t only felt betrayed, but pissed as fuck. Stefan didn’t waste any time: as soon as Alex came back to the Colony he confronted him. Alex tried to explain himself, but they only argued and ended up having a pretty bad fight.

In anger, Stefan didn’t want to hear no more explanations, so he told some of the Colony’s high authorities about Alex’s lies and that they had to do something about it. 

The Colony’s Council decided to call Elisa and solve things between imps and fairies only. But they showed her no mercy.

They basically gave her two options: or she’d prove her loyalty to the Colony and would kill her husband and her human son, or the Colony would sentence all of them to death penalty, including Toby and Brad, children that they claimed should have never been born. 

Elisa was in shatters. She didn’t know what to do. She couldn’t kill the man she loved and her baby child, she just couldn’t. She was about to accept the second option, rathering die with her family than killing them, but Stefan decided to help her out.

He wasn’t expecting the Council to be so cruel and he started to regret his decisions the moment he saw how Elisa was worried about her family and how much she loved them, even if they were human. He hated Alex and Brad, but seeing Elisa in excruciating pain over them was impossible for him, so he made up a plan with her to save everybody.

It cost Elisa to trust Stefan, he had told their secrets to the worst people possible, but she had no option aside from accepting his help and following his plan.

The plan was simple: Elisa would tell the Council she’d kill Alex and Brad and would tell Alex that she had changed her mind and that they should leave the Colony as soon as possible now that Stefan knew the truth.

Alex believed her and, after Stefan’s confirmation, so the Council did. The next step was to take Alex and Brad to the Colony’s limits, pretending they were about to leave. 

Then it happened.

Elisa made, with Stefan’s help, a huge barrier on the Colony’s frontier that didn’t allowed humans to cross it. It was basically a security method that they never thought it’d be necessary.

But now it was and it wasn’t meant to protect the ones inside the Colony...

Of course, Alex didn’t understand SHIT.

He spent MONTHS returning to the Colony in his shrinking form, trying to find a way to cross the barrier and to get Toby back. 

Or to talk to Elisa.

Or to understand.

Or anything.

He just wanted his family.

Eventually, his potions ended and he was left to raise Brad on his own and to never see his wife and oldest son again.

Since then, he hates Elisa. Or at least thinks he does. He’s just deeply mad at her, he doesn’t understand why she left them. 

He did everything for her. Denyed his own race, submitted himself to the dangerous effects of a extremely nocive potion which he faces the consequences till this day, did his fucking best to be the best father and husband his family could have-

All this love, all this effort, all this sweat and blood

Wasted.

It took years for him to fully recover. Aside from the health problems the abusive use of the shrinking potions brought, he also became alcohoolic. Because he wasn’t mentally estable enough, neither to take care of himself and of his very very small son, he went to live in his parents house. His family knew about Elisa and the children they had together, his folks actually liked her a lot so it saddened them as well that she simply abandoned Alex and Brad and that they would never see Toby again.

His family didn’t had to worry about Brad’s very little size for too long though, before he was one year old he had already reached his human size.

Anyway, Alex’s family gave him a huge help until he was healthy enough to take care of Brad, the only one left from the family he built.

Back to Elisa, she didn’t told Alex her plan because she KNEW he wouldn’t want to do it. She simply knew Alex would be too stubborn. He’d have wanted to try to escape or to face the Council. Both alternatives would get them all killed.

Toby didn’t understand why his mother did what she did. He was forced to go back home with her, screaming the whole time, saying that they left his father and brother behind while Elisa was crying endelessly.

Stefan came to them eventually and calmed Toby down. His heart broke when he saw Elisa. She was... not okay.

Unfortunately, he didn’t have time to assist her. He immediatly went to a representent of the Council and took them to Elisa and to the Colony’s frontier to prove that she had done it and did even more than she was suppose to. Of course, not without consequences to her sanity, she had just killed her husband and baby, of course she was in pain.

Nevertheless, the Council confirmed Elisa had done her part and left to leave her alone with the child they let live.

After that, Toby spent weeks returning to that spot of the frontier to look for his dad and brother. No sucess.

As time went by, he eventually forgot about Brad, he was very young when they tore apart and Elisa and Stefan never talked about him nor Alex. All he can remember is that there was a baby in the middle of that mess, but he can’t relate to it.

He kept the memories of his father though, who was closer to him, and till this day he believes he’s alive somewhere and that he can be found. But he has no idea he’s a human and has no idea of his own true nature.

Elisa and Alex miss their respective sons deeply and think about them everyday. They also miss each other very much and the first months after the incident were terribly agonizing for the both of them.

They kept going for the child that had remained for the both of them and raised them apart from each other. Alex never told Brad what happened and so Elisa did to Toby. Like that, none of the brothers knew about the existence of each other.

Until the day Toby was sent, coincidentally, to his “little” brother’s house

And none of them has no idea of this fucking long backstory I just spent four months writing :)

enjoy

[fairieboywhump]

pet clement au - branding

nicholas belongs to @spookyboywhump

TW: pet whump, branding, dehumanization, collared whumpee, gags, whumper made whumpee

enjoy sickos [hahaha... yes!! YES!!!]

~~

Clement had never imagined that he would be on this side of the equation. 

Nicholas kept a tight grip on his leash, knowing he could very well try to run, and yanked him forward every time he hesitated. He kept his head down, trying to avoid being seen by anyone else, or worse - recognized, and thus had not paid quite enough attention to where they were headed. He hadn’t actually been in this part of the facility before, but from the things Cain had told him… he knew it was the last place he wanted to be.

The stench of burning flesh was unmistakable, and it filled his senses so quickly that Clement barely even noticed himself recoiling, too focused on the fear that smell brought with it. Nicholas tugged on his leash, urging him forward with an unsympathetic glare set into his expression and Clement stumbled, heart in his throat, through the doors of hell.

If he had been able, Clement would have begged to get out of this. Begged to be taken somewhere, anywhere else and have something, please, anything else done to him. He hadn’t realized this was the other option when he refused to let Nicholas put a tattoo on him, but the damage had been done - and he had been gagged for the occasion. Nothing particularly special, a silicone bar between his teeth - he felt like an animal - preventing him from getting out more than pathetic, panicked little whines as he was forced to his knees to wait to be branded. 

“Mr. Fairfax?” A small voice called. Clement made the mistake of glancing up, just enough to see the wreckage that truly was the poor pet standing before the two of them. His hands shook, and Clement couldn’t even begin to count the scars on him, countless brands and burns, and if this hurt as much as he was led to believe… that poor dog. Nicholas seemed to pay no mind to the damaged state of him, instead cocking an eyebrow in acknowledgement. “H-he, he’s ready for you, sir.” The dog said, gesturing with his arm. “R-right this way.” 

“Fantastic,” Nicholas smiled, standing up and pulling Clement to as well. “Thank you,” he paused a moment, eyeing the small tag on the pet’s collar. “...Brennan.” 

Brennan seemed to light up at the use of his name, and led them down the short hallway with a previously unfound confidence. Nicholas chuckled under his breath, causing a chill to run down Clement’s back as he was dragged through to the actual operating room. 

At least, that was all he could think to call it. Somewhat of a medical suite, although he would be damned before he ever willingly accepted such care in a place so filthy. However the fire - and the iron rods sticking out of it, were what really scared him. He froze when he caught sight of them, having to let Nicholas maneuver him to where he would sit, and Clement whined in opposition as he pushed him down by the shoulders. 

“Hush, pretty boy. Come on now, I told you that you would be marked as mine one way or another, what did you think was going to happen?” Nicholas smirked at the horrified, empty expression on Clement’s face and ruffled his hair. Oh, the pure devastation on his face when Nicholas had cut his hair was nothing compared to this. Clement turned to look at him when Nicholas stepped away, tears just beginning to fall, and Nicholas laughed.

“Crying already, love? I expected better of you.” 

He whined behind his gag, loudly attempting to protest the leather straps wrapping around his wrists and forearms, securing him to the cot-like seating he had been shoved into. His legs were next, straps around his ankles and his thighs, he assumed in case he tried to kick. Not that he could do much damage as he was, practically barefoot and malnourished, whatever strength he had previously draining further with each passing day. 

His shirt was torn open, exposing the rapid rise and fall of his chest as he panicked. Clement whined pathetically, desperately, pulling on the restraints and knocking his head against the cot with a panic in his eyes unlike anything Nicholas had seen from him prior. The terrified cries were only the beginning, however, and the scream that came from him as the red hot iron pressed into his chest only cemented in Nicholas’ mind that he did, in fact, make the right choice. What a fucking catch. 

Clement’s head hung, his eyes empty even as Nicholas grabbed his chin and forced him to look up. Tears streamed down his cheeks, although it didn’t seem like Clement had much control over them. As Nicholas looked in his eyes, Clement stared right through him, and any attempts to make him stay upright resulted in his head lolling to the side, drool spilling past his gag and onto his chest. Right next to the bloody, fresh wound that would heal into the letter F above his heart. 

Marked as an object, as someone else’s for as long as he lived.

Just as he had done to another.

[messrmoonyy]

Hay, could you do number 44 for Remadora plz...😘

Some happy fluffy post deathly hallows fluff because they deserve it.

Also psa to people who have sent requests, i don’t write them in the order I receive them so if yours is taking it while it’s simply because others have given me more motivation. But it’ll show eventually :)

Prompt: sitting on the other’s lap

Pairing: Remus lupin x Nymphadora Tonks

Warnings: none

You can find all my other writing on my masterlist and remember my ask box is always open, so drop me a request! Check my masterlist for who I write for!

Remus couldn’t sleep, the same as most nights just lately. He rolled around in bed for a few hours but eventually got up, not wanting to wake Dora. She was easily woken still, her motherly instincts still on high alert even if Teddy was past the age of waking up screaming in the night for food. And there were still old habits from the war, never truly letting yourself fall into a deep sleep. Always on edge and ready to jump out of bed and fight at a moments notice. He’d still wake up some mornings to see she had her wand clutched in her hand, still fast asleep.

She still had nights filled with nightmares too, as did he. She often asked him when they’d go away. He dare not tell her that hadn’t even gotten over his from the first war yet, Never mind the second, and that they would never truly leave her. He simply gave her the same answers every time

‘Soon my love’

‘You’re getting better everyday’

‘They won’t be with you forever’

He didn’t like to lie to her, but he couldnt bare the truth.

Thankfully him getting out of bed hadn’t seemed to have woken her from her rarely undisturbed sleep and he’d placed himself in his armchair by the fire. Christmas was coming around and the only light in the room came from the tree and the fire burning in the hearth. It felt wonderfully cosy. And homely. And domestic. And he adored it.

He finally had the family that he’d always wanted and dreamed of. He’d popped his head into Teddy’s room before making his way downstairs, the 3 year old sleeping soundly splayed out in his bed. Much like his mother he liked to take up as much room as possible, far more than a person so small should be capable of. He’d dodged the two creaky steps on the stairs and was now quite peaceful with his mug of tea and the fire.

They’d moved into the small house in hogsmeade not long after the war had ended, Remus has graciously taken back his position of dark arts professor, so it made sense for them be close to the school. Dora had been given her job back at the ministry with a hefty promotion too. Things were…. Good. They were all still in that sweet post war period where every seemed to get on, the darkness seemingly having been permanently shut out by the light. He didn’t know how long it would last. It hadn’t lasted particularly long the first time around. But then again this did feel different, because maybe the first time around the darkness had never really left. But it felt like it had now.

His days were constantly filled with light now, the bright faces of his students, the familiar feel of belonging in the hogwarts halls, then coming home to the smell of Dora attempting another one of Mollys recipes, Teddy charging around the house on his tiny broomstick that Harry had gifted him the Christmas before. Just waking up to his family, going to a job he adored and then returning home to his wife. His child. Some might call it an unbelievably dull existence, but he couldn’t think of anything he’d want more.

Even his monthly transitions weren’t as dreaded as they used to be. Wolfsbane potion was within easy access of every man, woman or child that needed it from the ministry. And no stigma was attached to collecting it either. Of course the overall acceptance of Lycanthropes was still a work in progress. But it was the best it had been in forever. His full moons no longer consisted of having to lock himself securely away, writhing and screaming for hours and hours as his bones broke and re set themselves. No, now he spent them curled up by the fire with Dora at his side simply napping the night away.

Occasionally he’d let himself think of the people he’d lost, all members of both the original and the second order that had lost their lives had gained portraits in hogwarts. Alongside all the other brave individuals that had died. He visited Sirius, James and Lily often. It got easier every time. Though James did like to throw the occasional jibe at his age, the James in the frame forever stuck in his twenties whilst Remus was in his forties now. Not that he minded. He didn’t think he’d ever reach that age so he was happily embracing it.

“ cant sleep? “ he startled slightly as a voice broke him from his daydreaming and he turned his head. Dora was stood at the bottom of the stairs, a sleepy smile on her face and rubbing at her eyes.

“ Sorry Darling did I wake you? “ she shook her head and yawned. He smiled warmly at her and placed his mug onto the coffee table before opening his arms. She returned the smile, grabbing a blanket from the back of the sofa before shuffling sleepily over and climbing into his lap. She wrapped the blanket around them both and his arms looped around her, holding her close “ Teddy alright? “

“ snoring just like his father “ his heart still did little flutters when he was reminded of the fact he was in fact a father. A proud one too “ nothing could wake that kid. You could go in there and hold a private Weird sisters concert and he’d sleep through the lot “ she played idly with a thread on his pyjama shirt and yawned again.

He ran his hand gently though her hair, pressing a kiss to her forehead and looking towards the Christmas tree. This would be the first Christmas Teddy would understand more. He was holding almost coherent conversations with his parents now and was understanding what Christmas meant- his Christmas list had been a hefty one.

“ what’re you smiling at? “ Dora asked quietly, brushing the backs of her fingers against his chin. He hadn’t even realised he had been smiling.

“ Christmas with Teddy “ Dora smiled too and laughed slightly.

“ poor kids gonna be upset when he realises we couldn’t get him a real pet hippogriff “

“ he’ll love the stuffed one just as much “ it had been a nightmare to wrap, it was bigger than Teddy himself “ he’ll understand things a little more this year and not just throw his mashed potatoes at your mother “ Dora snorted a laugh at the memory. She’d been in tears she’d found the situation that hilarious.

“ it’s a good job she loves him. Only grandchild perks? “ Remus smiled and pondered on what thing his son would do this Christmas to cause chaos, morphing into random things or deciding he wanted to climb everything within reach. He quite liked the chaos though, he’d loved boring and ‘normal’ for far too long. And you couldn’t get any less normal than a werewolf with his metamorphmagus wife and their half werewolf morphing son.

They stayed down stairs for a while longer, Dora still sat in his lap and a comfortable silence surrounding them. She dropped off again after a few minutes, her breathing become slower and her full weight leaning on him. He debated attempting to carry her up to bed, but wasn’t sure his aged bones could carry her. He struggled sometimes just lifting Teddy. So he simply stayed in the chair, rested his chin onto his wife’s head and closed his eyes, getting a little more sleep himself in the dying light of the fire.

[thedragonnerd]

Rayaari headcanon - let's have celebrations for their Wedding

(Inspired by these lovely anons)

Raya spends weeks having a beautiful golden armband made by Fang metalsmiths, which she then brings to Heart artists for the engraving process - wanting her proposal offering to have aspects of both cultures displayed prominently.

But while the armband is still with the engravers, she ends up being beaten to the proposal accidentally by Namaari. They've gone for an evening walk, taking the opportunity to spend time together in private, and enjoy the night sky. Raya is gazing at the stars and pointing out different constellation shapes, when she realizes Namaari is watching her instead of where she is pointing.

'I was going to have a whole...thing planned,' Namaari tries to explain, and Raya just smiles at her, confused at what she's referencing. Namaari grasps her hand tightly, and rests their foreheads together. 'Dep la, I don't want to wait. I just want to spend the rest of my life with you. Would...would you do me the honour of becoming my wife?'

Raya kisses her deeply, tasting a slightly hint of salt, although she isn't sure which of them is crying - or if they both are. She almost forgets to say yes afterwards, too busy covering Namaari's cheeks with kisses.

They tell Benja first, if only because they are currently staying at the palace in Heart. He swings Raya round in a hug, and she can't help but laugh at his joy. Namaari approaches and tries to bow formally to him, about to apologize for the lack of ceremony she's displayed with her proposal, but he merely steps forward and sweeps her into an embrace also.

Raya accompanies Namaari to Fang two days later, wanting to tell Chief Virana as soon as possible. Virana isn't surprised by the news, but alternates between welcoming Raya to the family in a warm voice, and scolding Namaari for being unable to wait a few more days until the ceremonial daggers were ready for a proposal.

Namaari finally presents Raya with the daggers the following night, when they are sat side-by-side on the large windowsill of her bedroom, looking out at Fang's kingdom. 'These represent the balance between you and me,' Namaari explains, presenting both knives with slightly unsteady hands. 'The symbols are for protection, so you will never fall in battle.'

Raya laughs slightly when she takes them - they feel solid yet lightweight in her hands, perfect for close-quarter fighting. Truly a wonderful gift for her.

Raya uses the moment to thrust her own offering towards Namaari, having collected it in Heart before they left. The armband also has protective symbols engraved along the side, as well as important moments of mythology from Heart and Fang alike - combining the history of the two lands into one.

They agree on two ceremonies; firstly because they would never risk telling one of their parents that a wedding won't happen in their land, and secondly because it is important to introduce the other in an official sense to the citizens.

Namaari suggests that the first ceremony is held in Heart, well aware of the message it sends to the rest of the lands: Heart and Fang are uniting, and there are no longer grudges held between their families. Raya agrees, especially since she wants everyone to accept her new wife as easily as possible, considering their history.

That being said, Raya is somewhat disgruntled that the largest crowd of guests will be coming to this first ceremony, especially as it seems like every dignitary from Talon, Spine and Tail have agreed to attend. But this wedding is bigger than just the two of them - it's a symbol of hope and peace for Kumandra. And at the end of the day, she knows she will be walking away with Namaari as her wife, so it's a small price to pay.

Benja goes wild with the catering for the ceremony. He wants everything to be absolutely perfect for his Dew Drop, although Raya gets an incredibly embarrassed look on her face whenever he says as much. Namaari just nods along wisely at everything he says, and says 'You can't blame him for wanting everything to be perfect for his favourite daughter.' Raya dislikes this new vibe of her father and 'Maari bonding together against her, but merely grumbles 'I'm his only daughter.'

Soon, of course, he will also have a daughter-in-law.

On the day of the ceremony, Raya almost wants to flee, just from the fear of the crowds and expectations surrounding her. But Namaari holds onto her hand tightly, and whispers how she can't wait to begin the rest of their lives together, and it is this image Raya clings onto whenever she begins to feel overwhelmed.

As part of her wedding ensemble, she insists on wearing the two daggers from Namaari, strapped to her waist, as well as a necklace that belonged to her mother.

Namaari wears Raya's armband meanwhile, as well as a well-worn necklace in the shape of Sisu - a private connection to their history, that no-one else knows. There is a large sword hanging at her own waist. It had belonged to her father, and although it is too great in size to be a good weapon for Namaari to comfortably wield, just having it with her brings a feeling of strength.

Tuk Tuk is not allowed to the official ceremony, but as soon as the evening party begins, Namaari sneaks him (as much as she can sneak, with his size) into the palace just to see Raya smile in surprise.

The ceremony in Fang is held a week later, and is a much more subdued affair, at least in terms of the number of guests invited - focusing not on world-saving symbols, but on introducing Raya to the Fang citizens.

Unlike Benja, Virana seems to be quite content at allowing Namaari to deal with all the preparations (but in reality, neither of the girls realize how much micromanaging she is carrying out behind the scenes - she is adamant that her Morning Mist will have the perfect wedding, even if it's a second one).

In tone however, there is nothing subdued about how Fang celebrates weddings. They are a warrior culture, and with that comes, to Raya's amusement, sparring and fighting as entertainment. General Atitaya wins the competition, bowing low to her two Princesses.

'It could have been romantic for me to fight for your hand,' Raya teases in a whisper to Namaari, whose cheeks blush pink in response. 'You had my hand long ago,' she whispers back, and follows that up with a subtle squeeze of her fingers on Raya's knee.

Namaari's serlot is curled up at their feet throughout the entirety of the evening's feast, and if anyone asks, Namaari merely smiles serenely and says it is for security purposes.

Sisu and her siblings of course attend both ceremonies, and Raya is amused to see that Namaari is still as star-struck all these years later as she was when she first met Sisu.

When the wedding finally ends, they take a week to enjoy travelling, not as Princesses of Heart and of Fang, but as Raya and Namaari, two newly-weds who want to have personal adventures and time to themselves.

They take Tuk Tuk and Namaari's serlot, spending their week exploring forests, deserts, market places and more through all the lands. They camp under the stars as much as possible, and remain incognito whenever they enter towns.

They finish their time away by arriving back in Heart. That evening, Namaari takes Raya's hand and leads her on a walk, and they stroll along the pathway while enjoying the growing darkness.

Raya realizes she's taken them to the exact place where she proposed, and they kiss under the stars.

[letsloveimagines]

Title: Forever

Pairing: Corpse Husband x female!reader

Requested by: Anonymous

Request: How about one where Corpse proposes? With flowers and everything! Like he went out of his comfort zone to propose to you in public because he felt like you deserved it!

Word Count: 2225

Warnings: luff and some swearing

Note: The images doesn’t belong to me, all the credits go to the respective creators. I only made the collage. Also, I will not make anything to make Corpse uncomfortable, if he ends saying he doesn’t like fanfiction about him, I will delete this.

                                                           ♦⋅☆⋅♦

The little black box, with that important thing hidden inside, weighed in the pocket of his dark jeans as he headed for her condo. Corpse's breathing was fast, his hands were shaking immensely, and his heart was beating fast, so fast that it seemed to want to escape his chest.

He strode, always faster than anyone, avoiding people who came in the opposite direction as far away as possible. The further away the better.

Swallowing hard feeling a lump in his throat, Corpse looked at the sky, which at that moment was a sea of red, orange and yellow, indicating that it would not be long before dark and for the moon to replace the sun.

Grabbing his phone and watching the time, he quickened his pace even more, playing with the rings on his long fingers and feeling his back cold with the nervous sweat.

He was ready, however, and he was sure that Y/N was the one. Since that day they met at the small cafe, he knew she was his forever. That day Corpse had risked going out for the first time in a very long time, trying to win even though he knew he would never really be able, at least not as he almost did now with her. That red-haired employee looked at him bored - certainly tired and dissatisfied with his own life, but who wasn’t? - his deep voice stuttering nervously as he tried to place the order. He succeeded there, and the minutes that it took the employee to complete it were truly terrifying. He said a small thank you, handed over the money, and in the moment he took the cup his hands were shaking so much that he thought he was going to drop it. Everyone was looking at him, Corpse was able to feel their gaze and there was nothing he wanted to do but disappear from there. But then an angel came up to him, gently touched his hands assuring him that everything was fine, and offering him a big, beautiful smile that made him dreamy for the rest of the day. Cliché he had the notion of that, but so incredibly good that remembering it makes him feel butterflies in his belly.

The memory was long enough to reach its destination, and the nerves tripled at the moment he saw the condominium of white and brown buildings. He was quick to send a message to let her know that he was already there, and it didn't take long to receive one in exchange of her saying she was going down as fast as she could.

Corpse took a deep breath, leaning against the wall with the white paint a little chipped and in need of a new coat of paint, and reached into his pocket feeling the velvet box stroking his fingerprints. It was still there, safe and heavy with all hopes for a bright future.

"Hey, love." Y/N’s sweet voice sounded nearby, along with the sound of her elegant footsteps.

"Hey, babe.." Corpse greeted pulling the mask away slightly - he couldn't get out without it, even on that very important day - and kissed his girlfriend's black-colored lips (she started to like seeing herself in black since they were together). It was a gentle kiss but full of longing and security, and especially full love. Her lips tasted like blackberries, which he loved, and the black lipstick helped to highlight the beautiful features of her face that only left him even more enchanted. How he was lucky enough to have someone so wonderful in his shitty life? This was something that Corpse questioned every day…

Y/N's eyes were bright when they pulled away and she smiled sweetly. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I missed you."

"As did I, baby. Where do you want to go?"

"I thought it would be good for us to take a little walk."

"Are you sure? We can stay home if you want to, or if you don’t feel comfortable." Oh, how he loved her. Y/N was so understanding and attentive, and if she was another girl, she would have left his sorry ass a long time ago. And yes, Corpse was uncomfortable being on the outside, in plain sight, but it was something he wanted to do for her.

"I'm sure, let's go. It will be dark soon."

Y/N was quick to get to his left side, interlacing their fingers when they joined hands, Corpse's bigger hand practically swallowing hers.

Without further ado they began to walk calmly, Corpse remembering to slow down knowing that it would be difficult for his girlfriend to keep up with his hurried pace.

"I was thinking that we could go to dinner at that restaurant that you like." He informed her. It was a small and quiet restaurant, and they had been there before. It had gone well and without any problem. That was how he wanted it that night.

"Sure, I'd love it as long as it's okay with you." Y/N looked at him again with an uncertain look.

Corpse stroked her small hand. "I'll be fine as long as I'm with you."

The pink tone on her cheeks and the passionate smile with which she presented him made it all worthwhile.

On the way to the restaurant they talked about their days. Y/N told him how it had been a little busy day (she was a graphic designer) and she had already finished the cover of a fantasy book, and given it to the writer when he decided he wanted to change something at the last minute. She managed to do so, but not without feeling that she would tear her hair out in frustration. Corpse pulled her closer to him and assured her that everything was fine, that she was great at what she did and that better days would come.

He was telling her about the two-hour stream playing with the friends he had made, and the music he was writing, when they finally arrived.

They went in, asked for a table further away and without much trouble went to sit in their seats, with the menu on the wooden table waiting for them. There was no need to look though, whenever they went there they asked for the same thing, so that's what they did. She ordered spaghetti bolognese and for him just a vegetable soup with chicken. To accompany, they ordered a small bottle of wine. Corpse's left leg swung quickly, while discreetly touching his pocket.

"Is everything alright, baby?" She asked at the same time that the food was being served.

"Yes, don't worry."

Y/N didn’t stop looking at him with concern, but she did not insist. While they ate they were talking about nothing and everything, enjoying the feeling of being in public in what had been a long time. The restaurant was almost empty, with just another couple at a distant table with their backs to them, which made him more comfortable. It was small with the floor, tables and chairs all in wood, with brick walls with a rustic effect, and small iron lamps lighting the place almost lovingly.

Time passed and Corpse's nervousness only grew. They ate and drank wine, enjoyed dessert, and were happy and smiling.

Corpse was helping Y/N to put on the black leather jacket - her outfit consisted of comfortable shoes, red pants and a cute black tank top, as well as the delicate shamrock necklace he had given her on their one year anniversary -, when she questioned him curiously. "We are going home now?

"Let's go out for a little while." The beautiful girl's surprised look did not escape him, even he was surprised that he was succeeding to do that.

They left the restaurant after paying and ventured into the city, holding hands and full of soft words. Every now and then, Y/N would lift his hand to her lips and give a small kiss on the skin full of protruding veins.

The stars shone in the middle of the night, the moon was full and round, high and illuminating the path to the park. There were wooden benches every few meters, tall street lamps peeking out near the trees and the round lake by the children's swing. Y/N used to go there in her childhood.

They sat on the grass by the lake, their feet immersed in the cold water that reflected the moon. They were silent for a moment, completely at peace watching the couple of swans swimming nearby, gently cutting the water and with their long white necks almost intertwined.

It was now. Now was the moment.

"Y / N…"

"Yes, Corpse?" She looked at him with the stars shining in her eyes, and leaving him speechless.

Corpse’s heart sped up, blood pounded in his ears and his hands trembled when he opened his coat and removed the flower he had protected in the inner pocket. The black rose was in perfect condition, sparkling with the small silver particles that embellished the petals.

He handed it over to Y/N, who accepted her happily with a smile almost as big as his love for her.

"Oh, babe, it's beautiful! Thank you so much."

He smiled shyly, with extremely sweaty palms, and watched as the girl in front of him admired the flower, without knowing that she was also being admired by him.

"I do not deserve you." He said at last, immediately regretting it seeing her smile fading.

"What are you saying?"

"I-"

"Babe, you’re really scaring me right now. What's going on?" Y/N's gentle hands came to his face, taking off his mask (which was fine by him because he trusted her absurdly, and they were alone), and caressed the skin of his cheeks with concern.

"Let me talk before I turn myself into a coward once again. I don't deserve you, I have a full sense of that, you're too good for me and kinder than anyone will ever be. I'm not a religious person, my life didn't allow me to be , but since we’re together I pray every day that you would not wake up one day, and realize that it’s not me who you want by your side."

"It will never happen, you are everything I ever wanted." She whispered.

"I am not... but you are what I always desired." He smiled. "You take my problems when you shouldn't, you help me and you take care of me. I can talk to you about everything because I know my secrets with you are safe. You support me when I doubt myself, and you do it all without asking for anything in return. "

"I just want your love."

Corpse kissed her, feeling the soft brush of her lips against his. Just a simple kiss from her was enough to calm him down for good. "You already have it." He assured her, then touched the velvet box and took it out of his pocket. Y/N's shocked sigh filled the air, and she raised her hands to her mouth. "And I know that I will never be enough, that I will never be good enough... But I will try. From sunrise to bedtime I swear to love you and try to make you happy every day. And if one day I don't, I know that I wasted the best thing I have in my fucking life... "

The tears overflowed from her eyes, sliding down her face in rivers of happiness. "Corpse…"

Corpse opened the box showing her what he had been hiding for several months. It was a simple ring - too simple for her in the boy's opinion, but that was how she liked it - made of silver with an oval diamond in the middle, flanked by two smaller ones in square shape, and many smaller ones around it, embellishing the circle.

"Y/N…" He sighed deeply, more sure than ever in his life, even though trying to control his anxiety. "Do you want to marry me?"

The girl threw herself at him, hugging him tightly and crying in his chest. "Yes, yes! Of course I do! Of course I want to marry you."

He laughed happily and deeply, smiling so much that he thought the corners of his lips must reach his ears. He kissed the top of her head, inhaling her perfume and murmuring how much he loved her... But mainly thanking her for loving him.

After a few minutes of laughter and sobbing, Y / N walked away with red, wet cheeks and slightly swollen eyes, but looking more beautiful than ever.

"How long…?"

"Much too long." Gently he took her hand and stuck the engagement ring on her left ring finger, where it glowed as if it belonged there. "I should have done this a long time ago."

"It's beautiful." Y/N said in admiration. "I love you."

"Not more than I love you."

They shared another kiss, this one longer than the others, and left their foreheads gently touching each other, with their eyes closed and wanting to record the moment forever in their memory.

"Thank you." He whispered.

"I’m the one who should be thanking you…"

"I knew you were forever. I've known it since that day at the cafe."

"Yes…" Y/N agreed. "Forever."

                                                           ♦⋅☆⋅♦ Tag List: @breathygasps @unicornblood4ever @jay-jay-love @mintchip17 

[amesstm]

I’ll Carry You

Pairing: Ushijima Wakatoshi x Reader

Word Count: 1376

A/N: Sorry for not updating in a while, my ADHD said “Hey, let’s hyperfocus on something that is not writing fanfiction.” So, we’ll see when I have a phase of writing fanfiction more consistently lol

First part: https://amesstm.tumblr.com/post/647216128109723648/nose-bleeds-part-1

Ushijima didn’t know what to do when you asked, “Is this heaven?” So, he did what he thought was best.

“No, this is Shiratorizawa Academy,” he replied with his eyebrows furrowed in concern. Did he really hit you that hard?

You chuckled, but winced from the pain. “I know, Ushijima.”

Not paying too much attention to whatever joke went over his head, Ushijima silently folded up his shirt to put over your nose. The scent of mint and sweat overwhelmed your senses. Ushijima was simple, so of course he would smell like mint. Minus the blood pouring out of your nose, you could get used to this smell.

He lifted you up from the ground, but then you stumbled. A strong hand clutched onto your waist, trying to steady you. But then you almost fell forward. “I can walk just fine.”

“I’ll carry you.” Ushijima stated as a fact, leaving no room for argument.

His arms lifted you with ease. You pouted, annoyed that this was becoming a common occurrence now. He softly chuckled under his breath from looking at you. When he stepped out of the gym, everyone stared at the spectacle.

Why in the world was Ushijima shirtless? Why was he carrying the girls’ team’s libero? Why was she clutching onto his shirt for dear life? You were sure those were the questions swarming your peers’ mind. Surely, the fangirls would’ve loved this indirect fan service.

A protest was about to erupt from you, but then you looked up. His jawline was on full view. Could that cut you just from one touch? Possibly. Okay, maybe you can get used to this view. So, you stayed silent.

“Why are you staring at me?” Ushijima asked, starting to blush now.

You squirmed a bit when his eyes looked at you. Something about his eyes were so piercing yet so gentle all at once. “I’ve just never seen you up close.”

“That’s because you always run away from me.” Again, he was just stating a simple fact. Yet, there was a twinge of hurt in his voice. Ushijima was a paradox in one living body. You made a mental note to know every side of him.

Whatever fright you had dissipated into guilt. Thoughts that you should’ve tried harder to get to know him – no, truly know him – flooded your mind. Was he always so soft despite being so rough? Did he hurt on the outside despite looking stone-faced?

Your eyes softened, “Sorry about that.”

He didn’t reply. Perhaps he accepted your apology, or he didn’t want to pry. Once you were at the nurse’s office, she looked shocked to see the spectacle; a crowd had formed with people taking pictures. No doubt, those pictures would end up on gossip blogs or shared between friends.

The nurse instructed Ushijima to lay you onto a bed inside a room. “You’re free to leave if you have something else, Ushijima.”

“No, I did this. So, I’ll stay,” Ushijima replied to the older lady.

After undergoing an examination and interview, you were allowed to rest. Ushijima refused to leave your side, sitting in a chair near the bed. The regular-sized chair looked so small underneath Ushijima’s huge body that you could laugh, but you knew that he wouldn’t appreciate it. His mouth formed a small frown, with eyes distantly looking at the floor.

You softly spoke up, “Hey, it’s fine, Ushijima. You really don’t have to stay here.”

“I’m staying,” he replied. You waited a second, but he didn’t go further.

You frowned looking at him. He only really looked like this when his opponents got a few points ahead of him. Speaking of his team, an idea popped into your head that would make Tendo proud. You hummed, “Okay, then I guess you owe me a favor.”

He turned from his stare-down with the floor to gaze at you. You continued, “For as long as I’m showing symptoms, you should help me. We have plenty of classes together, anyways.”

“I would help you even if you don’t have a concussion,” Ushijima declared in a low tone. Your eyes widened slightly.

The door swung open, with the nurse not looking pleased. “I’m sorry to say but you have a concussion.”

After the news, Ushijima helped you back to your dorm. Apparently, you weren’t supposed to strain your brain too much with sports or too much thinking. Yet here you were – overthinking the fact that you couldn’t practice with your team like usual. The sounds of the volleyball would be too much to even sit in to watch.

As you walked to your dorm, the other students stared at you and Ushijima walking together. The sunglasses were a dead giveaway that you had a concussion from earlier. Now, the students understood why Ushijima carried you to the nurse, shirtless and all. Unfortunately, he was given a shirt by the nurse.

Going up the stairs made you feel nauseous, so you reached for Ushijima’s hand by accident. You stopped walking, so he stopped, too. His olive eyes grew a color of worry as he looked down on you. His warm hand literally swallowed yours whole, forming a secure fist. He hummed, with an inflection of confusion. After collecting yourself, you managed to mutter, “O-oh, sorry, just going upstairs makes me feel sick.”

“I can carry you tomorrow if you want.”

“Paron?” A sting spiked your brain. Yep, definitely shouldn’t think too much about what was going on around you.

“I’ll take care of you,” he reiterated. You simply nodded your head. It was useless trying to argue with him, especially since it was your idea in the first place.

Against your wishes, a blush formed on your cheeks. “I better see you tomorrow then.”

Ushijima stopped in front of your dorm room, avoiding the whispers and stares from the other girls like he always does. He seemed pleased that you were finally showing your confident side to him. For the longest time, he only saw that side of you when you were around Tendo. Now, he was able to experience it firsthand.

Was this a smile? As soon as you thought that, you felt another string. You cringed and clutched your head. Of course, this would happen when you had a concussion.

“Don’t forget to take your medicine and rest,” Ushijima advised, holding out the medication bag towards you.

You smiled, “Thank you.”

Luckily for Ushijima, the sunglasses made it hard to tell that he was blushing.

“Goodbye, Ushijima.” As customary, Ushijima nodded his farewell.

~

Tendo called you in the evening, making you cringe when you heard how loud your ringer was. Your roommate Yuki went out to the cafeteria, promising to get you food, as well. Thank goodness she wasn’t here to listen in on Tendo ripping you a new one.

“How could you get a concussion?” Tendo cried. You put a bit of distance between you and your phone when you heard him about to start ranting. Tendo acted like an older brother, so of course he would start to scold you.

“Thank you, Tendo. It’s like I wanted a concussion,” you responded sarcastically.

“Did you?” You heard a deep voice that could only belong to one person.

“Tendo, am I on speaker?” You asked, suddenly feeling nervous.

There was a pause on the other end. “Maybe.”

You could envision the evil grin plastered on Tendo’s face. You sighed, “Well, Ushijima is making it up to me until my symptoms disappear.”

“Oh?” Tendo said. You hated when he got this way. Even after being friends for a few years, you couldn’t tell what went on in his head sometimes. “Ushijima failed to mention this to me.”

“Now you know,” Ushijima replied.

Tendo whined, “It would’ve been better to hear it from my own roommate first!”

“What happens between Y/N and I will stay between us.”

You blushed, secretly enjoying what he was insinuating. Then you remembered. “By the way, Ushijima... I will be leaving to meet up with my cousin after school tomorrow. So, you won’t need to help me.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. Trust me, you wouldn’t want to be hounded by him.”

“Okay, now back to me-” Tendo said before he started rambling about his day.

A/N: Any guesses on who the cousin is? 👀

[evakuality]

Matteo - Episode three

Social Media - There’s so much of it this week!  At the time, I only followed a couple of accounts and then only saw the rest when it was posted to the tag.  I think I’m grateful for that.  This is absolutely overwhelming, the sheer volume of things the characters were putting out.  But it’s also really nice that we get all this normal teenage life stuff.  It really does allow an immersive ‘this is real people doing real stuff’ feeling to everything.  Particularly people like Kiki and Sam who have little to do with the plot.  It keeps them real and alive through a season where they were a bit more sidelined (and I love that Matteo and David’s little trip later on keeps them alive in a way that doesn’t overpower Amira’s season - this is a really clever way for the producers to keep fan favourites active without having to shoehorn them into places where they don’t belong).  I am also a bit concerned about some of this though - how on earth did the boys not get in trouble for filming the dancing girls and posting it to social media?  At most schools I know that would have resulted in some serious discipline action.  However, the most fascinating thing about the social media is the party at the end of the episode.  Sara didn’t start posting much on her stuff until much later in the evening (the reason this post is so late is because I was waiting to watch through all the social media before I worked with it - and there was so much for so long that I was able to notice the patterns in it in a way I didn’t at the time) and then Leonie took over and it was interesting what she chose to show and how non-perfect it all was compared to what Sara was trying to do before she got really incapacitated.  I know it’s not technically part of this episode but the text string between the two of them the next day where Sara panics over how Matteo might take seeing her in such a sloppy drunken state is very telling.  She really really wants to put on a show to make sure he’s not turned off by her not being ‘perfect’ - again, this is all very subtly done but there’s a really strong push to show how much of what is put onto social media isn’t a real and true depiction of who we really are.  And of course that’s most important for Matteo himself.  He’s still very actively putting on a front and it’s only partly to try to cover for the fact that he’s interested in boys not girls.  He’s really not happy or at ease with pretty much any aspect of himself, but he’s also not really willing to show it to anyone.  Except David.  Which we’ll see as we go through the clips.

Clip one - Matteo’s shelf in the fridge is so sad!  Someone (a parent maybe?) should really be making sure he has food and is looking after himself.  We touched a bit last episode on food and nurturing and what we see here is Matteo very much not nurturing himself.  Even more so than Sara, he has no care for his own wellbeing.  Also he’s relying heavily on other people (Hans in this case) to do the heavy lifting for him.  It’s also a major contrast to the playful, if disgusting, sandwich he made with David.  Here it’s really just about putting something in to his body and there’s no thought for anything other than basic survival.  Which is, tbh, a good metaphor for Matteo’s approach to his life at this time.  The chat with Mia again veers close to things that are difficult for Matteo - he’s wearing David’s beanie, trying to get that bit of closeness to him, but then Mia starts asking awkward questions about why the kitchen was so terrible and what Matteo was up to and it’s all a bit tough.  Matteo tries again to deflect and lie to cover his tracks.  Which... is he ever going to learn?  This lying is forever getting him in hot water when he’s caught out.  Jonas even calls him out on it, basically saying ‘if you’re going to use me as an excuse then give me a heads up first’ showing that he has Matteo’s back, but is incapable of helping him if he won’t help himself.  At this point, of course, Matteo has closed off because there’s a lot he finds too hard to talk about but Jonas is already giving those hints that he’d be there for Matteo if only Matteo would let him be.  But at least Mia’s pushing serves one purpose - Matteo makes contact with David again and they manage to connect and get over the little hitch that David’s ditching caused.  Both are still hiding bits of themselves from each other (David more so obviously), but both are quite happy to make these connections and are comfortable with each other.  That David responds is so nice; it sets up the dynamic so different to the original and Matteo is much more secure in David’s friendship than Isak was with Even at this point just because of this.  Then of course Matteo does the gay test, and it’s clear he already knows but he’s just sort of trying to work through some things.  It leads to some of the things he says later that are quite unfortunate (both to the boys about the dance teacher in this episode and to Hans later about the ways to be gay), but I think there’s a genuine desire to figure out what gay might look like rather than any truly homophobic stuff.  societal expectations and stereotypes and our own internal biases mess with us big time!!

Clip two - There’s not a lot of difference with the dancing girls clip, but it’s nice to see David again and the interactions between him and Matteo are a lot more natural than with Isak and Even.  I guess because these two are in the same year, it’s much easier to pass off knowing each other and so Matteo really is a lot more casual than Isak ever was.  The tone of the ‘why does he have to be so gay’ is different here too - Matteo’s much more low key and subdued when he’s called out on ‘why do we insult gays’ and he’s apologising fairly quickly.  It really is much more obvious that he’s trying to work out what ‘gay’ is than trying to distance himself from the idea of being gay.  He has a lot of issues and a lot of stuff to work through but it’s entrenched in an entirely different way to the og even though the words are almost exactly the same.  The power of acting and body language!!  Of course, this makes sense for both characters too - Isak and Matteo have different experiences and different lives and so they each act in a way that makes sense for them.  I’m super impressed that the same conversation can look so different - both actors are very very good.

Clip three - This scene with Matteo and Sara works much better for me than the one with Isak and Emma.  But perhaps that’s because Sara is allowed to be much more of a rounded character rather than a plot device.  We can say all we like (and Leonie is so clearly right there with us) that Sara needs to wake up and see how badly Matteo is treating her, but the way this is developing makes it clear why she thinks and acts the way she does and we can have a lot of sympathy for her even while rolling our eyes at how obviously this is not working out.  This right here is the moment where Matteo really should have said ‘yeah sorry, this isn’t working for me’ but he chooses not to because he still wants that security of having ‘someone’ if the thing with David turns out the way he expects it to (eg, David and Leonie being a thing).  He wants the ability to hide and say ‘see, there was nothing there, I have a girlfriend so I’m not at all upset that David has one too’ and it’s shitty behaviour and it’s totally unfair to Sara, but at this point Matteo can’t see beyond his own needs.  Sara is very clearly not happy with the situation and she rightly feels sidelined and unappreciated but she is still willing to accept his word when she puts those words into his mouth.  She’s still invested in this fantasy in her head and she is carefully scripting it so that it goes the way she wants it to.  Like last week when she was talking over Matteo to avoid hearing anything he’s saying, here she’s literally telling him what to say to get the outcome she wants.  Leonie has quite obviously got a better handle on the situation, but Sara doesn’t want to hear it.  Sara, again bless her, is very open about what she wants and needs from a relationship and how she’s feeling.  She refuses to take Matteo’s very half-hearted attempt at sweet talking her at face value and demands some accountability.  But it’s the very nature of those demands that sets her doom.  She tells him what she needs and he gives it to her - only it’s a very pale and weak imitation of what she would really like.  He uses her communication skills to play her.

Clip four - I loathe how no-one takes Matteo’s wants and needs into account, pretty much ever.  He’s in such a rut of being used to just going with the flow that even when he tries to assert his own wants people straight up ignore him.  It’s sad that he allows Kiki etc to basically commandeer his home for their party but it’s very much in keeping with how everything else is going.  Last week, Kiki was super irritated because she had a picture of how things were going to go (they would have their event and Matteo would host it) and she couldn’t deal with things not being under her control.  I suspect that if Sara hadn’t been with them and hadn’t done the speaking for Matteo, he would have been bullied into doing what she wanted then too.  He clearly doesn't want to do this , but at least he uses it as a way to get closer to David.  ‘Well, this party idea sucks, but maybe I can get this guy I like there’ and so he goes right up to him and invites him.  While he’s quite checked out of significant parts of his life, when Matteo really wants something he’s not scared of going after it.  Of course, as we see in later events, this gets him in trouble at times.  But for right now it’s nice to see him taking some small control of his life.  This is only possible, of course, because he was able to connect with David fairly quickly after he left last week.  The fact that they are able to do this is testament to how easily they do understand each other and even while its awkward, this relationship doesn’t have the underlying tensions that the one with Sara does.  It’s awkward in a positive way.

Clip five - there’s lots going on in this one.  The studying and how little interest and engagement Matteo has with it.  The consequent stalking of David on Sara’s account, the flow over into looking for David’s favourite movie, and of course Hans and his intrusion into Matteo’s quiet space again and then his attempt at using grindr.  It’s a slow, fairly quiet clip and yet Matteo ends up doing a lot in it.  It shows again, I think, just how much he values his time by himself and how much it works for him to be allowed to do things at his own pace.  I’ve said before I really enjoy seeing the characters in their own environments being chill and just hanging with themselves.  It shows us a lot of how they are.  In this case, Matteo moves very quickly from the boredom of the studying to things he has more interest in.  Like David.  He’s restless and disengaged, using all of his tricks to try to distract himself (playing with plants etc) and then very quickly giving up on what he should do.  I like that we get these sorts of smaller, lower key indications of how much David means to him as well.  It’s not big grandiose expressions of interest, but he watches the movie because David likes it.  He can’t even let himself stare at the picture for too long because it feels like a huge admission (he literally breaks eye contact with it and looks away the way he often does with David himself).  It’s in these unguarded moments in his own space that we really see Matteo and he’s a mess, but he’s a mess who really does want connection and to find meaning with someone.  

Clip six - We all love this one, right?  It’s such a nice moment with David and their almost-kissing is very intense.  But there’s a lot going on before that that I also want to look at.  First, the way the boys call Matteo a ‘player’?????? how???? That’s his girlfriend?????  He is playing her and stringing her along when he shouldn’t, but he’s not playing the field which is generally what we mean when we say this sort of thing.  He has one girl and that one girl has made it pretty clear that he is hers.  In many ways Matteo would be better off if he was playing the field - then there’s no expectations and he gets a rep as a ladies man.  But this works better for him - he can sort of fall into it and follow along with it without having to put any effort in at all.  She literally speaks for him, even.  I have always found it fascinating how much Matteo keeps to himself in this clip.  He hugs the walls like they’re his home and Sara is out there in the middle and there’s such a disconnect between the way they’re both acting.  How would Matteo have coped with the expectations Sara outlines about sex had she not got so blind drunk she had to be taken home?  It seems like it would have led to something very awkward and maybe she’d have finally got the picture.

Laura's little visit to see Matteo is cute too.  Obviously she knows that David is interested and so she checks him out.  It’s a shame it’s interrupted by Hans who then monopolises Matteo, but she was quite deliberate in finding him and speaking with him and I love the sibling support.  David’s shirt he chooses to appeal to Matteo is hilarious too.  The thought process (and the discussions with Laura at home beforehand) must have been brilliant.  ‘I always wear black and am mysterious and aloof and cool, but to attract this boy I will wear a white shirt with a stupid picture on it’ - that it does attract Matteo just shows how attuned David is to his future boyfriend.  Maybe he’s stalking the instagrams too - the Matteo Monday and Florenzi Friday do suggest that this is something that might appeal to Matteo.  

Hans and Andi bother me too.  In much the same way that I dislike that Sara assumes that Matteo not wanting sex with her means he’s gay (like?  It’s okay not to want sex!!  It doesn’t say anything about your sexuality), I don’t like that Hans has talked about Matteo to Andi and allows him to be so forward and aggressively sexual with someone who is very obviously not willing to be out.  I know Hans is trying to be there for Matteo and to encourage him to accept himself (I think it’s pretty clear that he knows or thinks Matteo likes guys).  But this is a party with all of Matteo’s friends.  What did they think would happen?  Why did they think he’d react in any way other than the one he does?  Hans looks confused when Matteo pushes away and leaves, but why?  This behaviour is entirely consistent with everything we know of his character. That it ends in an actual panic attack makes it all much more sad and difficult to watch.  Honestly, outing people when they’re not ready is not cool and Hans should know this.

The panic attack itself is so well done.  There’s no dialogue and yet we can see very obviously how Matteo is feeling and just how ‘normal’ this is to him.  He has a set of behaviours that he follows to try to take the edge off.  He throws things (this is his go-to when he’s stressed and he does it a LOT), he tries weed and he finally tries music and sitting by himself, cuddling a cushion for comfort.  I know a million people have discussed this at length, but I don’t think we can speak about this clip without at least touching on it.  Everything about it is done so well and it all combines to allow Matteo’s feelings to shine through.  I love that it’s allowed to happen at a party and that we see very clearly how these things can be overwhelming for characters.  I won’t go on anymore, but it’s just great and the acting is so perfect.  I genuinely think this small part of this clip is probably my favourite acting out of everything in this show.

And then of course we have the stuff after everyone else has left.  Again, a million people have discussed this in a million ways, but I love how this scene again shows how easily they get each other, how good they are at communicating with each other and how quickly they get on the same page.  Matteo has no trouble at all saying what he thinks and pressing for information.  This parallels Sara in some ways - she is like this with Matteo, making her wants and needs clear and putting herself on the line.  Again, this is all very good set up for later on when Matteo finally finds himself in her position and realises just how much his behaviour hurt her because he’s living her side.  However, unlike Matteo, David is quite clear and honest back.  And that’s why they can so quickly move into a potential kiss.  As with Matteo and Sara, there are close ups as they lean into each other, but somehow it feels like there’s more space for them to breathe here.  The camera allows them both to be in the frame naturally, whether Sara is often invading into Matteo’s shots.  Here, they’re both on board and both want it.  I like that Matteo gets a moment to be open and himself after his experience with Andi.  It must take a lot of courage to do this after he was so badly affected earlier.  Testament to David’s calming presence which reassures rather than pushes, and how honest they are with each other - there’s no way David could miss how relieved Matteo is when he finds out that Laura is David’s sister not his girlfriend.  They’re both very brave here - David for telling Matteo he looks good and Matteo for trying to take that next step even after his panic attack.   And I think that’s a nice place to leave this.  Because that’s already such a lot and this has all already been said before.  

[oniongentleman]

Lilanette Week Day 1 Prompt: Trapped Together (quite literally) 

Marinette helps Lila fix her jacket. They get to talking while she sewing and, too involved in the conversation to focus on her needle, Marinette stitches the two of them together.

Maybe Marinette is inviting Lila out after she’s exposed as as liar and the backlash hits hard. Maybe Lila’s heart flutters in the chest (the first it has in a long while) at this clumsy girl with two left feet but quick clever hands and stars in her eyes. She’ll accept the invite, hiding a smile (but never her reddening cheeks) at Marinette’s antics. Perhaps Lila learns to charm the world with her quick wit and sharp smile instead of extravagant stories and flashy adventures. Lila will learn value of creating and living her own stories where she doesn’t need an endless cast of celebrities to make it worth hearing. 

Or perhaps Lila is never exposed but she learns to play the field more cautiously. Marinette and Adrien never say a word. Adrien because for all his reckless preening and prancing as Chat Noir, he is a boy who thinks twice before he speaks. And when he looks at Lila Rossi, he sees a girl who is all too much like Chloe and he softens. Lila’s lies are not his to expose and especially not when he considers how they might reflect on Ladybug. Marinette can not hold back the bitter tang of regret when she looks at Lila. She doesn’t know this girl and she created the tiniest of rifts in her heart for Hawkmoth to squirm into. Her classmates who have been akumatized said it felt like they were sinking into a bog of sickening sweet syrup. Their limbs were heavy, their eyes fogged, but every one of their senses alive and thrumming with anger. There was a giddy, nauseous joy in seeing the city burn and hearing screams in their wake. Marinette doesn’t know if Lila felt the same but she knows that if she did, and if she lies awake at night reliving those feelings, she, Ladybug, Marinette, is the reason behind it. So Marinette tries to pry own Lila’s wall of lies. Bit by bit, she chips away at their foundation, and finds that she and Lila are more alike than she thought.

Lila weaves a complicated pattern of half-truths, lies and honesty, so thickly meshed into one another that it’s hard to pick out what is and isn’t real. But this is how she grew up, watching her parents’ pretty lies and fake smiles, and Lila learns that this is how the world is. She moves from one country to another, an endless parade of changing schools, changing faces, and soon there’s no point in trying to make a real connection when no one is there long enough to listen. Lila is used to people tripping their feet for a taste of her stories and is she really to blame if others are gullible? When she lies, it’s always what people want to hear and she’s learned long ago that few care for the humdrum mundance reality of truth when a well-crafted lie can provide so much more fuel for the imagination.  Try as she might, Lila can’t see why that might be a problem.

Marinette likes to think she’s never lied before and maybe she’s right by some standards. She’s never spent hours and hours crafting together a perfect lie, a story that has just enough truth behind it that no one can fully expose it as a falsehood. Neither has she ever tried to decimate someone’s hard work and reputation because they stumbled into her path to success. Marinette’s lies are clumsy things and she thinks that perhaps, just perhaps, if she had Lila’s polished smooth smile and quick flowing way with words, or Chloe’s arrogant confidence and vicious streak, she might also lie. But she has neither and it’s a thought she isn’t entirely comfortable to linger on. If Marinette is entirely honest with herself, she needs to admit her hatred of liars comes from a place where her truth, the part that is truly amazing and miraculous, isn’t something she can expose, and when she can’t, Marinette Dupain-Cheng, the baker’s daughter, isn’t something that belongs to the same rank as those dazzling golden lies. 

It takes time. It takes days, weeks, maybe even months for Lila to let her guard down for this strange girl who reaches for her with friendly hands and a guileless smile, but eyes that are incomprehensibly guarded and wary. When Marinette finally admits why in an attempt to come clean (and maybe in a desperate bid for Lila to open up to her), Lila smiles and teaches Marinette to hold a better poker face. 

They are not friends, not really, not yet. 

Lila needs to learn the value of the truth, not just as a foundation to build lies upon, but as something with inherent value in and of itself. Marinette needs to pull back the reins on her immediate dislike of anything posing as something other than itself. They both need to grow and understand what they’re worth without a mask.

At the end though, Lila will know who Ladybug is sooner or later and it’ll be a rough ride. 

In one world, Lila doesn’t need Marinette. She has lived a life of lies with only herself for support and there would have been many more years before she eventually collapsed on that solitary path. But in this life, she has Marinette, and with Marinette came others. The road to friendship (and maybe more) is a slow grueling experience but the day Ladybug stands before her and off comes the mask to expose Marinette, Lila exhales slow and hard through her nose before pinching her friend’s cheeks so hard that tears leap to the superhero’s eyes. 

“That’s for ruining my chances with a cute boy and turning me into an akuma,” Lila says, a grin belying her stern tone. “Now we’re even.” 

Marinette hugs her so hard Lila swears her ribs groaned upon the pressure.

In another world, Marinette can never find the right time to tell Lila her truth and Lila worries, and frets, and grows suspicious. When Marinette finally works up the courage to take off the mask, Lila shatters.

On this route, Lila is taken for a villain and Marinette is a lifesaver she clings desperately onto. Here Marinette is a saviour and Lila loves her for being able to see past the lies she told, for being able to know what she did and still be the first to come up to her with open arms and an extension of friendship that blossoms into more. 

Marinette wants Lila to understand. She wants her to know that none of what she did was a lie (but she can’t fully convince herself it came from a genuine place either). 

“Was it fun for you? Playing me for a fool?”

Lila storms away and Marinette isn’t sure if she should follow or not (she does anyway). Whenever an akuma attacks, Ladybug’s first item of business is to find Lila and whisk her away to the safest location. The top of the Rossi’s apartment is often decorated with a superhero, dangling her legs off the edge of their roof, casting frequent glances at the sliver of light gleaming through tightly shut curtains. Marinette has apologized for many things in her life but she’s never had to apologize for breaking, then mending, then breaking someone again. She isn’t sure she knows how.

It isn’t an easy road to recovery. Lila maintains a chilly contact with Marinette, for the sake of keeping the peace if nothing else. Marinette waits and watches and lets her heart break when she hears Lila muffled sobs through her apartment window. 

When Lila cracks, it’s after months of frosty silence and hearing the softest thump of feet landing on her roof. It happens after she is whisked away, stiff and uncompromising, in arms that seem to be trying their best to be both secure yet politely distanced. The changes are small but to the peope who matter, they’re significant. A pair of curtains, cracked open, and muttered thanks when she’s being carefully set on her feet to safety during an attack. On cold and rainy days, there is a window open for her to enter, though there isn’t any conversation (that will take time). When Lila flinches during a thunderstorm and Ladybug reaches cautiously over to brush a hand over hers, Lila doesn’t move away and they both think that it’ll be okay.