#what i think is so interesting is i’m honestly not sure whether roman truly believes in that shit bc like. i absolutely see him

[dashiellqvverty]

thinking about when the episode with the alt right guy happened and everyone was like roman girlies lost tonight 😔 like no??? are you a roman girlie because you LIKE HIM?? as a PERSON??? a character i enjoy watching reached the inevitable endpoint of the disgusting path he’s been on since the beginning of the show i WON

[5-falsehoods-phonated]

You Don’t Own Me (You Don’t Even Know Me)

Chapter 5

Summary:  As the son of a Baron, Roman Sanders always knew that when he married, it would be due to a political arrangement rather than true love. Still, when he is sent away to marry an older, more powerful Earl, he is determined to make the best of his situation. Despite the Earl’s indifference towards him, Roman forges ahead and prepares to become the best husband he can possibly be, making new friends along the way. But when his fiancé’s demeanor turns from cold to cruel, Roman must shift all of his focus to survival, and find a way out of his marriage before it’s too late.

Ships: Logince (Logan x Roman)  Moxiety (Virgil x Patton)

Content Warnings: arranged marriage, abuse, attempted sexual assault, murder, poisoning, character death, hurt/comfort, angst

Chapter Warnings: mentions of physical and emotional abuse, murder planning

Word Count: 2490

Read on AO3: here!

Cowritten with @ironwoman359 masterlist

False masterlist

Roman was not used to feeling small.

He was used to standing out, being loud, and carrying his shoulders with a confidence worthy of the title he held and the company he was expected to keep. Wherever he went, he knew he could always hold his head high.

Staring at his reflection now, he had to fight the urge to duck his head. His face was, quite simply, a mess. The cut from Lord Howard’s ring was small enough that Roman didn’t feel the need to bandage it, but the wound was slightly swollen, and his cheek was a truly shocking shade of purple.

Swallowing, Roman picked up a small compact that had been left on his vanity. He wasn’t in the habit of applying makeup, but when the supplies for doing so had appeared in his room overnight, the message he was being sent was quite clear. He wasn’t even sure whether he was sickened or relieved by the act, at this point. In some ways, it felt like another mark of ownership; the earl wanted him as perfect and pristine as ever, no matter what happened. But on the other hand, Roman wasn’t sure if he could stand to walk about the estate with the mark on full display like a brand.

Roman winced as he gingerly applied the powder to his face. It didn’t completely erase the injury’s appearance, but if he added some blush to the other cheek and styled his hair so it hung lower than usual, obscuring the bruise from the side...it was almost enough.

It would have to do for now.

Taking a deep breath, Roman exited his room and quickly made his way through the halls. He’d told Patton that he didn’t feel well this morning (which was not entirely untrue), and so he wasn’t expecting anyone to wonder where he was. After a few turns, he found himself standing before a door that he had never actually gone through before: the door to Logan’s office.

The office’s large door glistened with fresh wood polish and gave a pleasant, welcoming smell, though the scent actually only succeeded in making Roman’s nerves worse. He knew Logan would be on the other side, working on managing this set of numbers or that pile of letters even this early in the morning. Lightly touching the bruise across his cheek he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. It had to be Logan- no one else. He trusted Patton with everything he had, but there was no telling how the loyal attendant would react. He knew Patton cared about him, but as kind and caring as he was, he was hardly a good actor. And Virgil was far from a snitch, but he was so wary of any sign of trouble that Roman didn’t want to burden him with this...at least not yet.

He had to be sure...he had to know he had even half a chance before letting the others in, and to have that chance, he needed Logan.

If Roman listened closely, he could hear him on the other side of the door, muttering softly to himself as he ran through whatever calculations he was scratching out with his favorite pen. Paper rustled every now and then and Roman could tell by the coolness of the hardwood floor just in front of the door that the window must be open. He stood a moment more, letting his mind’s eye follow the thought, picturing Logan’s long hair blowing softly across his shoulders as he sat hunched over his desk, glasses sitting just so on the bridge of his nose that Roman could probably reach forward and straighten them if he was quick enough.

Shaking the thought out of his head, he took a breath and knocked quickly, then without waiting for an answer, pushed the door open before he could lose his nerve.

Logan glanced up from his work, frowning slightly as Roman entered. His eyes widened when he saw Roman, and he stood so quickly that his chair screeched across the floor. Wincing at the sound, he smiled apologetically and gestured for Roman to take the seat in front of him.

“Roman, to what do I owe the pleasure this late in the evening?”

“I-” Roman’s throat ran dry, and his thoughts along with it. Logan was looking at him, worry etched across his brow and work forgotten, and Roman swallowed. “I need your help.”

“Certainly,” Logan said immediately. “How can I assist you?”

Sitting across from Logan now, Roman almost changed his mind. It seemed absurd to think that Logan would agree to what he had in mind...what if he had misjudged him? What if he had misinterpreted the withering looks Logan shot the earl when he thought no one was looking, what if he had placed too much faith in their budding friendship, and if Roman so much as breathed a word of his plan, Logan would be the first to warn Lord Howard?

“Roman? Are you alright?”

Logan’s voice pulled him from his thoughts, and Roman looked up. Logan was sitting patiently, nothing but concern and quiet understanding marking his features, and Roman suddenly didn’t know why he should be worried at all. He could trust this man- he was sure of it.

“I need your help taking control away from Lord Howard.”

Logan binked once, then twice, fiddling with a pen that lay in front of his hands before setting it down firmly and leaning forward. No sound came from his mouth when he opened it at first, snapping it shut to blink a third time, slow and deliberate while he gathered his thoughts. “I’m sorry?”

“I- I need your help, please Logan.” Roman leaned forward as the other man straightened back up, his attention fully caught. “The earl has his fingers in far too many pies...and I’m not even sure he remembers what all the flavors are. If last week's meeting was anything to go by he disregards anything that doesn’t directly benefit him and only him and I’m sure land isn’t the only thing he’s notoriously stubborn with. Look at the way he treats his staff, expecting them up day and night to serve him and his entertainment of the day, extending that to you and all the responsibilities he shoves to the side in his confidence that you’ll pick up the slack. I haven’t even been here for very long but I know you hardly sleep for all the work you do in his stead. He expects everyone around him to be the perfect picture of their roles to mask the fact that he cannot play his own and I cannot continue this betrothal and eventual marriage in a state of constant anxiety and silence. He isn’t...he isn’t a good man Logan.”

Pursing his lips, Logan held up a hand. “Roman, I still don’t know that I understand what you want me-”

“He isn’t a good man, Logan,” Roman interrupted. “You must see that.”

“Yes, but Roman, he- I don’t know what you’re asking of me. He has more power than he knows what to do with, true, and he certainly abuses it, but I’m not certain what you expect me to be able to do about taking it away. I manage his finances and remind him of meetings; I hardly have the reach to do anything substantial.”

“For people like him, money is his power, and you’re the one that takes care of that. How many times does he actually ask you about anything official? Does he ever want full accounts of where anything goes? You sign documents for him of all things because he believes himself too important and you’re going to sit there and say you have no weight to throw?”

“But I-”

Seeing the doubt, Roman was quick to lean forward. “What if we could control the estate? Actually control it, and make smart decisions for it and know what’s going in and out of it? Surely you of all people would jump at the opportunity to make the changes you know need to be made here.”

“Roman.” Logan fixed him with a stern look, and Roman snapped his mouth shut. “It’s a nice thought in theory. I’ve spent many nights worrying over things that truly should not be my responsibility, and have done enough research to present to the earl a myriad of solutions to his problems, should he ever decide he actually wants to listen to my counsel. But for us to be in control of the estate, the earl would have to be deceased.”

Roman stared at him blankly.

Logan’s eyes widened. “Roman that is not-”

Taking a deep breath, Roman brought up a hand to wipe at his face, the flesh colored powder smearing his sleeve to reveal the dark purple and red underneath. This time it was Logan that snapped his mouth shut, with an audible click. Horror, anger and worry flashed across his face, and Roman winced.

“It’s going to get worse. I know it and so do you. This is how it starts, especially once he has someone who officially belongs to him, and especially when that someone doesn’t just lie down and take it. I won’t. And so it will keep getting worse, and he will never be accountable until one of us finally has an accident. I am not going to let that one of us be me.”

Logan regarded him sadly, sighing as he lowered his gaze. “What you’re suggesting is extremely risky. Even if we could do something after you marry him, the fact of the matter is that this is the Howard family’s estate. And I’m sure you’ve figured out by now that the earl isn’t exactly...interested in making you an official member of the family in any capacity. If he were to pass away, the estate wouldn’t be bequeathed to you. You’d still have no control, and might honestly end up with less if his other family members decide not to tolerate your presence.”

“That’s where you come in.” Roman smirked, and Logan’s head snapped up. “I need your help to forge the will.”

--- --- ---

“Well that’s-”

“Excuse me, what?”

Roman fidgeted with his sleeve as Logan attempted to sooth Patton and Virgil long enough to allow them to explain. After getting Logan to agree to help him, Roman had immediately requested that they bring Patton and Virgil into the scheme. Roman was certain he could trust them, and Logan seemed to agree. They certainly wouldn’t be able to pull their plan off with only two of them. Getting Patton and Virgil to see the necessity in it, though...well that was the first hurdle they were trying to clear.

“It seems like a drastic measure to take, even with the lord’s uh...mood as of late.” Patton squirmed on the haystack he was curled up on, pointedly ignoring the baffled expression Virgil threw him.

“A drastic measure? You think? This is treason, Patton! We’ll be hanged!” Virgil turned to glare at the two men across from him. “We will be hanged. There has to be a better way.’

“We will have the will forged and officiated before the wedding, and then arrange it to look like his death was natural. As long as we can figure out a way to do that it’s a fairly simple process.” Logan held his hands in front of him in a pleading gesture. “Even if we can’t find a way to make it look natural, I assure you Lord Howard has enough enemies grabbing at his various businesses and properties that it’d be anyone’s guess who tried killing him off. Half of them would end up paying investigators off just to avoid any public suspicion, it is almost guaranteed that no one would expect Roman to be the culprit.”

Virgil stared at him. “You’ve thought this through. Logan, why have you thought this through?”

Patton reached over and grabbed Virgil’s hand, rubbing soothing motions against his knuckles while humming softly. Virgil’s shoulders remained tense but he leaned against the attendant's shoulder, taking a shuddering breath as he raised his eyes to the ceiling.

“I think...” Patton said slowly. “I think that maybe while we have this opportunity we should take it. Not that I take any pride in using you Roman!” He was quick to assure. “But- I’ve seen the way he gets...and how he is getting. People like that only worsen with age, and I’d rather not see any of us hurt...more.”

Roman touched his cheek self-consciously, trying to subtly cover up the spot where he had wiped the make-up off, but of course fooling no one. Patton glanced away but Virgil’s gaze only hardened, squeezing the other man’s hand and swearing under his breath.

“I guess....I guess all of us here- everyone at the estate really- would benefit from him not being in charge. It’s still incredibly risky.” Here Virgil glared daggers at Logan and Roman specifically. “But I think with the right people...the right poison maybe, it could work.”

“Do you have a suggestion?” Logan asked curiously.

“Not me, but I know people that might. What are we thinking the time table will be for this?”

Roman perked up as they all looked at him. “Well...it might be a good idea to carry it out a good while after the wedding. If it happens immediately after, it would look a lot more suspicious than if we waited.”

Logan frowned.  “But Roman-”

“Logan, you know I’m right.” Roman startled a bit at the sheer amount of concern he saw in Logan’s eyes, but gave him a small smile as reassurance. “I’ll be fine until then.”

“Well,” Both of their heads snapped around to face Virgil again, neither acknowledging the slight pink in their cheeks. “If we’re waiting that long that’s plenty of time for me to get in contact with my guys and figure something out. Really it shouldn’t be too hard.”

Patton made a small noise in the back of his throat. “Um, exactly what kind of guys, Virgil?”

Virgil laughed outright. “Oh, total degenerates for sure! But they’re also both idiots, and that didn’t change when they set up their apothecary, so I wouldn’t worry about it too much.”

“So it’s set then? We’re doing this?” Roman couldn’t help the hopeful edge to his tone, and he immediately felt a stab of guilt.

What would his friends think of him now, so eager to take such a drastic measure? But a quick glance at their faces revealed only sympathy and determination, and he forced himself to breathe. There was a reason he’d come to these three specifically, and now he had to trust that he’d made the right call.

“Yes.” Logan said, taking his hand and giving it a squeeze, and Roman felt himself relax. “We are.”

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[youwontlikethisblog]

Locura Mia <3

Remember when Betty clarified everything to Mario and Armando about Nicolas role in Terra Moda and general manager?

She let them know that though Nicolas did manage Terra Moda that he didn't do anything without her say and that she was still the legal representative of Terra Moda.

One: that sets aside the fear of Betty giving too much responsibilities to Nicolas for the sake of him noticing her as she clears the air that she is the one with the last say.

Two: that Nicolas has Betty blinded.

This is both Mario's and Armando's worry, they talked about it at the cocktail the night before and Betty goes to clear the air so they aren't worried or distrusting of them.

However they still decide to enact the sinister plan.

When Armando realizes that Betty potentially cares for him as more than her boss its when the guilt of hurting sets in but when he hears Betty speaking on the phone with Nicolas he decides that he will make Betty fall in love with him.

Now, I want to make it clear that Armando is not in love with Betty. He's confused about his feelings. As well that Armando is worried about Eco Moda, the future of it, and his. That's why he agrees to do that.

Later that night when Betty returns to the meeting room after having spoken to Nicolas she tells them that because she's staying to work that he{Nic] will be going to talk and deal with the lawyer and Armando gets mad at her but she explains why it's important that they do that and Mario agrees.

Then Armando tells Betty to bring him the entire bottle of whisky and she asks if he's well and that he's drinking too much which he tells her to bring it to him.

When she leaves the room Armando tells Mario that she's no longer listening to him or obeying him.

This again proves again that Armando isn't solely worried about the company as now his subconscious is the one leading as he now worries that Nicolas is taking Betty from him.

I do believe that Armando would have fallen in love with Betty regardless of Eco Moda and Terra Moda.

What we have seen so far(before Nicolas was introduced as the love interest of Betty) was Armando slowly building a friendship with Betty as he was also developing feelings for her but all of a sudden these small moments of him just simply liking to spend time with Betty at the office and letting his guard down and letting her into his personal life come crashing into a wall of realization that he isn't ready to face and when he is being forced to face it he decides to deny it. Had it not happened like that I do think he would have ended up falling in love with her in the long run.

As a writer you have to think of all the possibilities that can happen. A scene you write has different alternative endings and you always go with the best one that pushes the story and the intensity forward.

So when watching the romance begin I often wonder what could have been of that scene and where that could have lead the story. When his original secretary quit because she fell in love with him the girls told Betty that Armando was never even aware of it and that he didn't even pay attention to her, it is a fact that Armando doesn't like getting involved with the employee's of Eco Moda so we can assume that it was true. After all when Bertha mentioned that Mariana had foretold that she'd quite her job Armando didn't even look fazed by it. He had no micro expressions or reaction to that. It was as if it wasn't important to him that she quit or why.

She wasn't important to him and she didn't really matter at all as he tells Betty that if she were to leave Eco Moda he would miss her.

Armando is hella drunk here. His eyes are droopy, he can't stand straight at times and he looks like he wants to run out of there.

Betty despite her feelings is trying to keep everything professional. When Armando tells her that they should cheer for something Betty cheer's for Eco Moda, now here Armando is acting. He isn't really talking with the heart.

I often talk about Armando but I am honestly so excited to finally start talking about Betty and her complexities because this romance isn't just from Armando's perspective but Betty's too and she deserves to be talked about more.

From previous episodes we know Betty had a relationship with a guy named Miguel. We know this because when Roman asked her to go out with them for the night as a joke Betty mentioned it after her Don Hermes didn't let her go and later that night after she got stood up she wrote in her diary something that personally moved me a lot.

"When will someone give me the opportunity to give them my love?"

Most times when we're watching a romantic drama or reading one we get this trope of the main character wanting to be loved themselves. They're searching for someone to love them because they've got this idea that love is meant on what others can give you. Armando is like that. He bases love on what others can give you, just like his parents and Marcela is the exact same way however real love isn't like that at all. That's being selfish.

Real love is wanting to give yourself without expecting anything in return and that's how we see Betty show her love towards Armando but the reason why it moved me so much to hear Betty say that is because she wasn't looking for someone to love her but instead she wanted to give her love, she wanted someone to give her the chance to give all the love she knew she could give to them. Betty, our sweet and kind Betty wasn't looking to be selfish in love.

However because of the fact that she did once love someone, she gave her love to someone who didn't appreciate it and just used her Betty is traumatized. It wasn't just heartbreak that she dealt with but she dealt with a humiliation that broke down her self-esteem more, ruined her self worth and killed her.

Though Betty knows she's "ugly" to people and that because of that no man will ever notice her, she believed that her love, the love she could give, would make someone love her. She believes that real love isn't based on physical attraction but rather a deep rooted spiritual connection with someone. Betty has a very beautiful understanding of love.

So it isn't just because her parents raised her to be a decent human with morals that she is keeping things professional but as a defense mechanism.

She is keeping herself away so she won't suffer again but her emotions start to win over after Armando asks her to dance.

She leans her head closer to him, not resting it on his shoulder, and we hear her inner monologue of "I can't believe it." in a hopeful and shocked tone while Armando's inner monologue is the same words his tone is disgusted.

He is disgusted to be so close to Betty, that he is dancing with an "ugly"(I always put quotation marks when I refer to Betty as ugly because she is very gorgeous to me!) woman.

When they return to the table Betty, as a concerned employee but also someone who is secretly in love with her boss respectfully tells Armando to forgive her for not minding her business but that he's drinking too much and he has to drive.

Notice the shift in tone from Armando's voice. Before he asked Betty to dance and they were talking Armando's tone was superficial. It was manipulative but this time it's careless and he's annoyed.

Again here you can notice in the same scene that shift as he lies to Betty and tells her "I'm enjoying my drinking" he shifts to look at her so they can talk better and his emotions give way here as he says "or what is it? What's your problem, Betty?" his facial expression switches to anger as he asks her in an accusing tone "or what am I so boring?"

Betty quickly tells him no "It's not that."

"Then explain it to me. Since Calderon left all you've wanted is for us to not drink, to not dance, to not do this or that. Beatriz, tell me, am I boring guy?"

I recalled Armando talking to Marcela once(when they were going to decide whether they got married though the church or court) and he told her "It's not about me. Are you sure you want to be married to me for life? I'm a really boring guy and you know that."

Here we can tell the difference in how Armando views these two women. While with Marcela he doesn't care that he's a boring guy, he does care that Betty doesn't think of him that way.

You can argue that Armando is drunk therefore he doesn't know what he's saying but he's manipulative by nature. He can do that sober or drunk and we saw that already in the scene before he asked Betty to dance. Besides have you ever heard the saying that toddlers and drunks have one thing in common and it's that they both can piss their pants but speak the truth.

Armando is a lot more drunk than he was at the start of the night with just him and Betty.

Once again Betty reassures Armando and in a loving voice tells him No , but that she understand he is worried for the company, marcela and that he is in a place unusual for him and with company he's not used to.

Really pay attention to Armando's tone. It constantly shifts from being natural to being forced. You can pick up when he is lying and being manipulative to it being honest.

Before I continue this I want to bring a detail I've noticed that came full circle the night of the museum.

Betty often tells Armando not to explain things, that she understands him. Armando however, unlike with Marcela who he just gaslights and manipulates, with Betty he constantly wants to explain things and talk them through, but Betty telling him that he understand him holds a lot of weight in their conversations because she truly does.

Armando takes in a deep breath, squints his eyes at her, before he speaks. He's thinking of what to say to her and trying to figure her out because unlike all the other women who Armando has been with(it's not because of what he said that he didn't know how to seduce an ugly woman) Betty isn't responding to any of his advances. She continues to keep things professional and behaves like a concerned employee so naturally Armando is confused and trying to figure a way to make things work.

He agrees with her about the first thing she said but disagrees about him not being in a place he'd enjoy that he's having a good time and all of that was said in a natural tone but when he leans closer and whispers drunklike "and as for the company." He widens his eyes and tells her "I love it."

Betty's eyes grow wide and she looks at him and then around. She looks surprised but also scared.

She tells him that she thinks he should drink slower or mix his drink with water and he chuckles at that.

"You're not coordinating with what you're saying."

"What? How am I not coordinating with what I'm saying?" He has a smirk on his face and turns to look at her, making eye contact he tells her "'cause I tell you Beatriz" he switches from openly speaking to now whispering as he finishes off by saying "I enjoying being with you." he says looking around the room. This represents the actual dilema he is facing. We know he does like spending time with Betty, especially in the previous days so we know that's true but notice how he was able to talk so openly before until he had to admit that he likes spending time with her. He whispered it to her and looked around the room. He knows he's somewhere that none of his friends or people in his social circle would be in so he isn't paranoid that they'll catch him. It symbolizes his inner battle. He's embarrassed to be seen with a woman like Betty, so he denies to care for her, however he admits he enjoys her company.

Now Armando lets his guard down, you can tell that he isn't as tense however still feeling nervous, he touches his upper lip and leans forward on the table "I'mma tell you something you know." he chuckles and points to Betty's drink "there with you blackberry juice" he chuckles, he finds it endearing, he touches his lips for a micro second often seen as a sign of nervousness. He's nervous to confess this to Betty or even to say it outloud.

Betty is starting at him freaked out and girl I WOULD TOO.

"See when you started working for me, if they would've fired you then I wouldn't have cared or been affected by it but now if you left I wouldn't be able to bare being without you."the haws theme song starts to play and he crazily looks around him. He really doesn't want anyone to hear him say these things because he is embarrassed to feel this way!

Betty's expression doesn't change. She's like a deer hit with headlights.

"But it's just a matter of custom. I'm sure if I left Eco Moda and I left everything organized for the new assistant they'll accomplish-" she's interrupted by an angry Armando.

As Betty was telling him this he took a drink and then started to rub his eyebrow; self soothing.

"Nonononono! I'm not talking about another assistant. " he hisses at her. "I'm saying that you," He chuckles nervously and swiftly covers his face, smiles and says "this is incredible." he fidgets with rubbing his forehead and his tone of voice is what lets us know he is being truthful to Betty. Here Armando is nervous to confess this, not only because he is confessing it to Betty but because now he has to accept it and no longer deny that he does care about Betty. He is being vulnerable.

Do you remember when you'd talk to your crush in middle school how you'd get, especially when the conversation shifted to talking about who you liked?

Armando's behavior reminds me of that.

The literal translation of what he tells her butchers the meaning as Armando tells her "Yo estoy diciendo, es increible esto, pero usted me haria falta, me haria falta como mujer."

"What I'm saying is that you, i can't believe this, is incredible, but I would feel the absence of you, the absence of you as a woman." his tone is very truthful. It isn't like before where it shifted from lying, manipulation and being somewhat truthful. Now it's coming form the heart and we later get more examples of this.

"Um sir please don't continue drinking anymore."

"Why? Why not? I need to drink, see." He drinks from his whisky. "You know why?" he shivers, slightly coughs because of it and shakes his head. "You know why I need to drink? Because I need to, I need to get out what, get out what I have inside of me about what I feel for you." Betty again is looking at him like a deer with headlights. "This is serious don't look at me like me shocked eyes. I'm going to tell you." He slurs. "Since I found out that you have a boyfriend right-"

"But I don't have a boyfriend."

"well, well, whatever, whatever he is, I don't care." He starts to angirly point his finger on the table and with a tone that matches continues "since I found out that guy Nicolas Mora exists I began to feel like bad." He's hunched forward, leaning towards the table and then turning to Betty, his face is very expressive as he shows that what is saying is hard for him to say because it pains him "like this wimper inside of me, I felt like a discomfort that I didn't like and I reflected, I started to think." He begins to act out him reflecting. "Reflecting. Armando, what's going on with you? and I discovered that I'm jealous, I'm jealous of Nicolas Mora." his eyes are wide and lips pursed, showing that he is stressed or holding back emotion.

"Sir don't joke."Betty's voice is shaky, she looks like she's got her heart in her throat as she is leaning far from him. She is afraid of what he is telling her and on guard.

"Do I look like a clown to you?" Betty shakes her head "No right? I don't play with that, Betty. I don't play with that."

Notice the shift in his tone again. It went from being his natural voice, albit drunk and slurred but still his natural tone, to now again being raspy, it's the best way I can discribe his tone which he has whenever he is being manipulative towards anyone. Armando grabs his glass to drink from it which shows us that now he no longer is being honest.

The next sequence is Armando trying to seduce Betty. She explained that she's got nothing going on with Nicolas and tries to excuse herself but Armando tells her to stay and that she isn't going anywhere.

This is him using his power of position to keep Betty in a situation she wants to run from. It is wrong. We know this and so does the writer as we get the Jaws theme song and a creepy smile from Armando. This is intended to be this way and not to be mistaken as something romantic.

He leans in closer and tells her "You fascinate me." Betty reacts to him being so close and leans forward and puckers her lips and they kiss. Armando's reaction is him being grossed out by it.

For the comedic effect Betty opens her eyes and then faints.

What do we get from this?

Armando is a piece of ish!

Now that that's out of the way.

We see Betty struggle with what's going on. She really is scared of what Armando is doing and saying because she doesn't want to have her hopes up and she's afraid of what it entitles. She doesn't want to get hurt.

Armando as always is all over the place. One moment he is angry, the next annoyed, then grossed out, and then he is being vulnerable, honest and baring his bones and then he is being manipulative. I am personally exhausted, imagine him?

Betty wakes up and apologizes, tells him she doesn't know what what's going on and that she crossed the line. She gets up and leaves and Armando goes after her.

See unlike the women of the past, the models or whatever, Betty isn't reacting like he expects her to. She isn't flirting, fawning, getting closer to him. She is in her seat silent while he speaks, telling him to stop drinking, that he doesn't know what he's saying.

Betty runs out of that place and once outside she touches her lips and thinks to herself "He kissed me, he kissed me."

I already mentioned how someone else wrote a post about Armando and the reason he doesn't date women outside of his social circle and here, now, in this scene he is going against that. He is doing the very thing that he lectured Mario about.

He used his position of power to keep Betty there. We get a scene of Armando sitting at the table with his head down and his fist clasped together, unlike with Mario who did that to show power, Armando's body language allows us to see that he is doing it to self-sooth.

I imagine that he is processing everything but mostly feeling guilty for what he is doing. Guilty for taking advantage of Betty and following through with the plan to seduce her and then it hits him that he kissed her. He touches his lips over and over again, it doesn't seem like he's wiping his lips as he gently rubs them and repeats that he kissed her. His brows furrow and instead of having a face of disgust he shows to have a face of confusion because now he is left with the feelings that that kiss produced and left in him. As well as him realizing what he is capable of doing.

Again, Armando is aware that Betty isn't society's standard of Beauty and aware that she isn't want he imagined in his perfect woman body wise, so he is grossed out by the idea of having something physical with her because of his obsession with perfection. This doesn't mean he is grossed out by her, just the idea of her, if that makes sense.

Which I know it's hard to understand, muchless explain right now but I am tired and hungry so I will leave y'all off here.

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

'Til next time :)

Ps again ignore my typos.

[sign-from-god-complex]

celestial bodies

Summary: “It was vulnerability and adoration and safety in nothing but his name and Roman would say he doubted he'd ever hear a more perfect sound but Logan always managed to surprise him. Every time he said his name it was different; every time it was more beautiful.”

Pairing: Logince!

A/N: This is my birthday present to Roman, written entirely without planning like two hour before I’m posting this!!! And it’s soft as fuck logince, of course, because what else could we possibly expect from me?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You know, it's interesting," Logan whispered, the silence of the room parting for his words, "I never thought that my life could ever be so intrinsically tied to someone else's."

Roman didn't sit up from where he lay against Logan's chest, a hand carding steady through his hair like the ocean tide. It was late evening, their work was long completed and their food had since been eaten, the day collapsing alongside them into a bed filled with blankets and silk and warmth. Roman felt tied up here too—in Logan, in their life—and he wasn't sure he ever wanted to leave.

In reply, he hummed and Logan correctly took that as cue to continue.

"I just- I'm sure I don't need to reiterate to you that I spent much of my childhood alone. I spent much of my teenage years alone. I've spent… too much of my life alone."

He paused. For a moment, there was just the sound of breathing as Logan seemed to think through his next words. Roman knew he wasn't finished; there were still sentiments echoing in the air around them that Logan hadn't had the chance to articulate and Roman hadn't ever known him to leave things unsaid. It was both deeply frustrating and terribly endearing.

Logan inhaled, the action pushing Roman's head up with his breath. "I love you."

It wasn't a revelation or a confession, it wasn't the first time it would be said and it wasn't the last but it warmed Roman's heart all the same.

"I love you too, darling," he echoed.

Jarringly, Logan began to move, displacing Roman from where he'd begun to grow roots and sitting up to flick the lamp on. Roman blinked through the brightness and came around to both sight and a sense of coherency with Logan standing in front of the bed, a small box clutched in his hand.

For a moment, it didn't click.

Then, Logan got down on one knee.

"Oh my god."

Roman blinked, then blinked again since the first one hadn't quite jolted him out of what must be a dream. There was absolutely no way this was happening, he couldn't believe it. He didn't deserve it.

"Roman," Logan spoke softly and gods, was it soft—not just in volume but in tone and in shape, like a brand new winter jacket in the middle of a snowstorm or a cat rolling over to show you their stomach because they trust you not to harm them. It was vulnerability and adoration and safety in nothing but his name and Roman would say he doubted he'd ever hear a more perfect sound but Logan always managed to surprise him. Every time he said his name it was different; every time it was more beautiful.

Logan inhaled again and Roman watched his chest rise and fall, shaky but sure. He could imagine the way Logan's heart must be beating, thumping like his own in the quiet of their bedroom and he wondered, for just a second, if they were beating in time.

"Roman, I am so frequently uncertain of whether you truly know how much I love you. I know that I am the way I am, I know that I am difficult. I don't… communicate the way other people do and I often feel as if I'm not making it obvious enough what you mean to me, the fact that you're the star I feel I revolve around. You're bright and shining and golden in a way I can barely fathom, you're life and warmth and the kind of excitement you feel on the drop of a roller-coaster—anticipation and joy paired with the sense that nothing could ever truly go wrong."

Logan smiled ruefully then, shaking his head. It seemed almost bitter and though Roman longed to reach out and brush those thoughts away like nothing more than a strand of hair from his face, he didn't dare move.

"Truthfully, I think the me of five years ago would be appalled by this development but I've let myself… grow in the light that you give off. I've learnt and I've understood and of all the things that I've come to know, I don't think any of them are worth quite so much to me as the things I've discovered about you.

“The way you sing to yourself as you carry out small tasks, so under your breath you often don't even realise you're doing it until the task is completed. The way you trap pencils between your teeth when you're thinking—not quite biting or sucking, just rolling it back-and-forth in your fingers. Your affinity for scented candles despite the fact that you rarely light them. Your insistence that sweet is the superior popcorn flavour despite the fact that you're blatantly incorrect—"

"I am not—" Roman spluttered wetly in protest, entirely unable to help himself, and in response, Logan beamed. It felt almost impossibly bright, like every light on earth had turned on all at once in an attempt to rival the sun in its glow.

Roman recalled Logan once informing him that fire continued to burn by consuming surrounding oxygen. He assumed, then, that Logan must operate on a similar principle because Roman found himself entirely devoid of breath, his lungs filled instead with longing and all-too-familiar warmth.

"The truth is," Logan continued, as if Roman wasn't burning up from the inside out, "I think every day I come to love you even more than the last. It feels entirely impossible to quantify the feeling in my chest when you look at me but, honestly, this might be the one thing I am perfectly content to remain ignorant of. I love you, more than I think anyone could ever truly comprehend, but if you give me the rest of our lives I will certainly try my best to show you.

"So…" He reached up, grasping onto Roman's hand and squeezing—lips quirking at the corners when Roman weakly squeezed back. "Roman Prince, will you do me the incredible honour of becoming my husband?"

For a moment, Roman could only breathe. His face was hot with tears, with a blush of red against his skin brought out by the layers of affection Logan had seen fit to smother him in. The idea of speaking seemed almost impossible—if he had lungs left at all, if the space wasn't entirely taken up by his love for Logan, they certainly weren't functioning as they should.

Logan's face was beginning to close off though and so Roman pitched forward, pressing their foreheads and narrowly avoiding straight up headbutting him.

"I love you," he choked out because it felt like it was maybe all the words he had left, "I love you, I love you, I love you."

It wasn't quite a yes, so Logan just held him—clutching him tight with all the surety of two celestial bodies, rotating eternally, providing the other with a sense of belonging that they hadn't quite had before. His tears ran dry eventually, evaporating against his skin, and Roman felt air fill his lungs again as he sucked in a breath.

Briefly, that's all there was. Their breathing echoed each other, chests rising and falling in time and when Roman finally pulled away, he felt the absence like someone had pulled out the ground from under him.

"I love you," he repeated once more because, truly, he didn't think it could ever be said enough, "And getting a chance to continue to do so for the rest of my life would be a dream come true, starshine."

Logan paused, furrowing his brow slightly and Roman stifled a smile at the small expression of hesitancy that flit across his face. "Just to be entirely clear, that is a—"

"Yes, Logan, I would love to marry you."

"Oh," Logan said, the utterance completely at odds with the rather besotted look on his face, "Good."

Roman laughed, bright and almost startled, as he reached to cup Logan's face in his hands. He didn't even need to lean forward before Logan's eyes were fluttering shut—trust and love shown clear in every plane of his body—and even if Roman had wanted anything more in that moment than to kiss his fiance, he isn't entirely sure he would have been able to.

And so, slowly, Roman pulled them together, drawing the air from both their lungs and filling the room with light.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tag list: @mutechild @super-magical-wizard @shadowsfromthesun @teadays @sandersships @camcam774 @autism-goblin @deadlyhuggles6 @romanthestarstruckqueer @whispers-stuff-in-your-ear @in-it-for-debussy @welpweregonnadie @hold-my-hat @goodandbadisallmadeupnonsense ​ @stop-it-anxiety ​ @figurative-falsehood ​ @idosanderssidespromptssometimes ​ @poisonedapples ​ @sanders-screams @another-sandersidesblog ​ @do-not-just-see-observe ​ @mychemicalpanicatthepunk @harleyquinnamiright ​ @localtransgrape @fandomsofrandom ​ @gattonero17 ​ @airiervessel ​ @ollyollyoxinfree ​ @tired-and-probably-crying ​ .

[galactic-magick]

Kiss Me: Logan x Reader

Request: Hmmm. So from the prompt list, maybe number 7 (“If you don’t kiss me right this second I swear I’ll strangle you”) with childhood best friends to lovers logan x reader? Thank you!

Summary: You have a summer party with the sides and come to terms with your feelings for Logan.

Words: 2100+                                        

Warnings: swears, some kissy kissy

Author’s Notes: I got a little carried away with this one XD This is probably the longest one shot I’ve ever written lol, hope y’all like it!

Taglist: @luluwinchester​ @nerve-ous-love​ @zarieslayer​ @amayaisokay​

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“Food’s ready everyone!” Patton calls, sliding the last burger onto the serving plate. He’s always been fantastic on the grill, and today he made pretty much everything he knows how. He made burgers, veggie burgers, hot dogs, kabobs, and everything in between.

It’s been a while since you’ve had a fun gathering with the sides, so when he suggested having a summer party in the backyard you all were ecstatic. You’ve all been friends for years, but sadly life gets in the way sometimes and you don’t get to hang out as much anymore.

As much as you’re happy to see everyone there, you can’t help but be extra excited to see Logan. He’s your best friend, and has been through thick and thin. He’s always the first to check in on you and help you out whenever you need it and you truly feel like you can be yourself around him. He lifts you up yet isn’t afraid to be honest with you. He balances you out perfectly.

“Hey guys!” you wave.

“Y/N! So glad you could make it!” Patton runs over and gives you a hug.

Virgil and Janus wave back and Roman and Remus greet you as well.

“Hello,” Logan nods with a smile.

You skip to him as your grin brightens, “Hello,”

“It’s very nice to see you,”

“Of course it is,” you laugh. “It’s nice to see you too. How’ve you been?”

“Very well. Everything appears to be working smoothly. You?”

“I’ve been alright,”

If you’re not mistaken, he’s gotten even more handsome since the last time you saw him. Is that possible?

Wait, what are you thinking?

No, no, it’s fine. It’s totally normal to find your friends attractive, right? You’re sure he’d say the same about you, and it wouldn’t be weird at all.

But damn does his smile make your heart flutter, and the way his slightly grown out bangs fall around his forehead gives you an irresistible urge to touch it. As you grab your food together his hand brushes against yours just for a moment, but it sends shivers down your spine for several more. He makes you laugh whether or not he’s trying to and fascinates you with his extensive knowledge on various topics. He makes you happier than anyone on the planet.

But of course none of that really means anything, right? Never mind the fact that since seeing him today you haven’t been able to get the thought of kissing him out of your head, how badly you want to just whisk him away to the side of the house, grab his shirt and make out with him ‘til you can’t breathe.

Alright, maybe that’s not normal.

It’s not like it would ever happen anyway, you’re sure he sees you as just a friend and you’re honestly fine with that. You’d never want to lose your best friend simply because you caught feelings.

As everyone finishes up their meal, you notice Remus running to the porch and shuffling around in a trash bag.

You turn to Logan, “What’s he doing?”

“I’ve found it’s best not to wonder,” he rolls his eyes. “It’s probably nothing of importance…NO WAIT WATCH OUT!”

Before you know it, you’re completely soaked head to toe and swivel around to see Remus pointing a huge water gun directly at you.

“WATER FIGHT!!” he screeches, pulling out more guns from the bag and tossing them to everyone.

Logan got a bit wet too, but not nearly as much as you, “Oh, Y/N, I’m so sorry, allow me to grab you some towels-“

“No, no, it’s fine, it’s just water,” you glare at Remus. “Hopefully,”

“Neither the color or smell indicate that it’s not,”

You chuckle, grabbing a squirter from the ground, “Come on, help me get back at him,”

“I really shouldn’t, I would prefer to stay as dry as possible,”

“Come on,” you grab his hand and pull him up. “Please?”

He stares at you helplessly, searching for an excuse but unable to resist, “Alright,”

You smile, grabbing him another gun and racing across the yard.

Patton starts filling up some water balloons while Roman flings them around, no one can tell whose side he’s on because he’s barely hitting anything. Janus is taking advantage of his extra arms by having a super soaker in each and aiming at literally everyone. Virgil has teamed up with you and Logan and focuses everything he’s got on Remus.

“Roman I must say, your aim is absolutely preposterous,” Logan comments.

“Oh, would you like to try it? I highly doubt you could do any better,”

“Actually, yes,” he grins, taking a water balloon and throwing it directly at Remus’s face.

Everyone’s mouth falls open.

“Where’d you learn how to do that?” Roman gasps, completely baffled.

“It’s not too difficult, just a few physics calculations and some practice,”

“Can you show me?” you ask, taking another balloon and squinting your eye towards Remus.

“Of course,” he places his hands on your shoulders and straightens out your stance. You desperately hope he doesn’t notice you stiffening and holding your breath from his touch. “The key is to have your arm in line with your eyesight. Even when you pull it back, if you’re not focused the follow through won’t work,”

You nod, gulping a bit and trying not to shake.

“Okay, now try it. It’s alright if you don’t hit him immediately,” his palm stays on your back as you throw it, hitting Remus’s leg.

“I hit him!” you squeal.

“Wonderful! Now we just have to work on aiming a bit higher-“ he steps in front of you as Remus darts a balloon back in your direction. His shirt gets drenched and Remus cackles.

“Oh no, Logan-“

His expression isn’t angry surprisingly. Instead, there’s a fire in his eyes that you’ve never seen before, the face of someone genuinely having fun.

He smirks at you, the way he always does when the gears are turning in his brain.

“Patton, can I see that?” he points towards the hose he’s been using to fill the balloons. Patton nods and Logan gets to work, using all your water guns to build a big canon and positioning it towards Remus. He turns it up to the highest pressure possible and blasts him.

It doesn’t hurt him of course, and even if it did he probably wouldn’t care. He merely falls back laughing, rolling around on the ground and covering himself with dirt and grass.

“Wow,” you sigh, eyes wide.

“You did ask me to help you get back at him, did you not?”

“I most certainly did,”

“Well,” he sets everything down. “I hope I delivered,”

“You did…” your gaze is locked on him. Who knew such a silly water war could make you so much more in love with him, especially with the way his wet shirt clings to him and the droplets on his glasses-

“Are you quite alright?” Logan inquires, concerned.

“Mhmmm,”

“Who wants to make some s’mores?” Patton calls, snatching some firewood. Everyone agrees so he gets it started, wanting to give it time to turn into hot coals. He grabs some crackers, chocolate, and marshmallows from inside and some sticks.

Logan gets towels for everyone and tenderly wraps one around your shoulders. The dampness is still cold, but the sweet gesture warms you up a bit.

Would it be crazy if you told him how you’ve been feeling tonight? Would it be completely irresponsible to flirt with him a bit? It feels wrong, but it feels more right than wrong. You just know he’s the one you’re meant to be with. You can’t imagine yourself with anyone else. He’s your best friend after all, and you’re sure any future partner you could ever have would be threatened by how close you are anyway. If you simply dated each other that wouldn’t be a problem.

But you’re terrified. You can feel your heart pulsing through your fingertips as you hold the marshmallow over the coals. The hot flames make your face burn and you can’t tell the difference between your sweat and the water covering you from earlier. You grow quiet, and Logan notices.

“Is there something wrong?”

Thankfully the other sides are engaged in their own conversation, so they don’t put any attention on you.

“I’m fine, just a bit tired,” you say, pulling your marshmallow away and squishing it between your graham crackers and chocolate.

“Did I mention that you look exquisite today?”

You almost choke on your sandwich, “What?”

“And I assure you our little water detour didn’t change that,”

“Oh, um,” you wipe your mouth with a napkin. “Thank you. You look really good too,”

“I hope that’s alright for me to say, please forgive me if I’ve crossed a line,”

“No!” you shake your head a bit too hard. “I mean, it’s fine. You can say that as much as you want, if that is what you want. Of course you don’t have to,”

Shit.

A smile tugs at his lips, as if he’s actually charmed by your bumbling, “Would you care to go inside? I believe Patton has quite a few card and board games if you’re interested,”

You nod. It’s getting a bit chilly outside anyway, and maybe being alone with him will settle your nerves a bit. Your newly discovered feelings for him aside, he’s always the one person who makes you most comfortable.

He grabs the checkers and sets it up on the table next to the couch, “You can go first,”

You move your first piece and the game begins. He doesn’t hold back of course, he’s not the type to let anyone win on purpose, but he doesn’t rub it in your face either. He makes you smile the entire time and you almost forget how anxious you were before.

That is, until the game finishes and it all comes rushing back. He won, and he looks absolutely adorable. Your stomach is in knots and you just want to look at him this satisfied forever.

“Hey, Logan?”

“Yes?”

“Do you ever wonder if we’d work well in a relationship? Like a romantic one?”

“I…” he considers it, his cheeks flushing a deep pink. “I can’t say I’ve never contemplated the idea. Why do you ask?”

“I was just wondering,” you shrug it off, assuming he’ll want to move on from the topic.

“I think we would,” he says confidently, yet still not able to meet your eyes. “If I’m being completely honest, which I assure you I am, I’ve thought about it many times,”

Your heart pounds in your chest.

“You’re wonderful, Y/N. I admire everything about you. You’re everything I want and value in both a friend and a partner, and I daresay even more. If you ever wanted to escalate our relationship to a deeper level, I would oblige immediately. I truly would,”

You don’t really know what to say. He just confessed his affections for you better than you ever could’ve, and quite frankly you don’t think you could top it. It feels like your heart is beating faster and slower at the same time, the relief of knowing and the panic of what happens next. Obviously he wants you to say yes, right?

But all you can think about is how much you want his lips on yours.

You meet his gaze, “If you don’t kiss me right this second I swear I’ll strangle you,”

“I’m sorry?”

“I love you. It took me a long time to realize, but I know it now. I love you,” you release all the nervous energy. “Now please just kiss me,”

“I…I love you too,” his eyes dart around your face and his grin lights up. It’s as if he can’t take you all in not matter how hard he tries. Nothing in the universe could ever compare to you or what he feels for you.

He kisses you gently at first, resting his hand on your neck. His lips taste like chocolate from the s’mores and they’re perfectly warm.

He pulls away, “Is this okay? Is this what you want?”

“Oh my gosh yes please don’t stop,” you pull him back to you, wrapping your arms around him and kissing him harder. He becomes more self-assured as you go, running his fingers through your hair and holding your waist to bring you closer.

He apologizes when his glasses hit you, but you don’t care. All you can focus on is the fact that his body is on yours and you’re finally kissing the love of your life.

After a while you fall back on the cushions breathless. Logan props himself up on his elbows and grasps your hands, holding them to his cheeks. You smile up at him, giggling a bit.

“I can’t believe we waited so long to do this,” he says, kissing your palm.

You smirk, “Well let’s not wait to do it again,”

[just-a-tired-fangirl]

Alright ya’ll buckle up, because I think me and my sister just solved Sanders Sides.

The idea stemmed from a comment that one of my sister’s friends made regarding her deceit christmas sweater. This friend had never seen the show before and after my sister explained the concept of the show to her, she asked if the side on her sweater was envy. My sister obviously corrected her and said that the side was Deceit, but she thought it was super strange how that was the first thing the friend came up with. Apparently it was the two headed snake that led her to pick envy.

So this made us think that if Deceit could also represent envy, then maybe the other sides could also encompass one of the seven deadly sins. The sin is not their main function, but each side has a sin that they are in control of. This theory also solidifies the orange side theory as there are seven deadly sins, and with six sides, that would mean we only have one sin left. It’s also fair to mention that the show itself goes out of its way to talk about the seven deadly sins in DWIT, and the show rarely does things without a purpose. So here’s our big, seven deadly sins theory on the show.

💛Deceit and envy:

Envy is defined as a sad or resentful covetousness towards the traits or possessions of someone else. Basically jealously towards what someone has that you do not. Interestingly enough, we’ve already seen Deceit display envy on multiple occasions. Throughout SvsS Deceit is baffled that Thomas is allowing his friends to be happy and have their special day, while letting himself suffer. Deceit feels envious of Thomas’ friends and the joy that they’ll be having on their wedding day. Not only this but, Deceit has also been established as containing a lot of Thomas’ selfish desires, and it goes without saying that envy is a faily selfish sin.

There are also many places where it can be assumed that Deceit feels envy. He is envious towards the light sides and how easily thomas accepts them. He is envious of Patton, not only because of how much Thomas loves him, but how much more Virgil loves him that he loved Deceit. He could also be envious of Virgil for leaving the dark sides and getting what Deceit wants most, acceptance from Thomas. I believe that Deceits arc is where his envy will truly shine.

❤️Roman and greed:

Roman’s connection to his sin is fairly interesting as he, out of all the sides, does the best job ignoring it. Roman is clearly greedy and wants what he desires, but he seems to push away the greed in order to appease not only Thomas, but also Patton. Roman could have easily been greedy and pushed Thomas to go to the callback in SvsS, but he didnt, instead hiding his deepest desires. While doing this obviously made patton feel a lot happier, it also leaves open a door for Roman’s much anticipated arc.

Unfortunatly for Roman, a lot of his desires are impossible to accheive. He is creativity and imagination after all, so he could really want something that is simply too unrealistic to have. For example, in Dealing with a Breakup, Roman clearly wants to get back together with Thomas’ ex, but everyone knows that something like that is unrealistic. In almost every case that Roman shows greed, he pushes it down and ignores it. All of this build up is leading to an arc where he deals with his greedy thoughts and possibly learns that sometimes, its okay to be greedy.

💚Remus and lust:

Honestly, I don’t really feel like I have to explain this one. So far Remus has been the only side to show any sexual character traits, so he would clearly also carry the sin of lust with him.

💜Virgil and sloth:

This one I’m super excited about because it makes a ton of sense. Anyone with anxiety would know that it keeps you from doing a lot of things that you really want to do. Have a social event to go to? Nope. How about we stay home instead and watch youtube. I’m sure a lot of you can relate. This same interaction is literally the entire basis of the newest Asides episode. Virgil is anxious about going to the party with the friend they fought with, so Thomas stays home and sits on the couch watching movies the whole night. Logan even goes as far as mentioning something along the lines of “Do you know how many times we worry about a decision over and over again until its too late for Thomas to change his mind?” Practically calling virgil out.

Apart from this, its also fair to mention that Virgil talks constantly about how he’s lazy and doesn’t like to work hard.

💙Patton and gluttony:

All right Patton time! So, out of all the sins, Patton clearly represents gluttony. One of the only sides to mention food (except for obviously logan and Crofters) is Patton. Whether is pizza or cookies, Patton clearly loves food. He encourages Thomas to eat whatever he wants because he believes that Thomas deserves it. That’s ones obvious with the whole “second cookie” line and also the “when your an adult, you can eat whatever you want!” line.

Even Patton’s gift for Roman in the christmas episode is food! A container of spaghetti. Not to mention that pattons christmas scarf also has milk and cookies and it. Basically patton is just surrounded by food imagery and its hard to see him having any other sin.

🖤Logan and Pride:

Logan is another side where his sin is leading him up to his arc. While a lot of people assume that Roman is pride, I think it makes much more sense as Logan and here’s why. Having pride in your work and the things that you create is almost never a bad thing. You should be proud of those things. But being too proud of yourself and your capabilities can get a bit dangerous. Logan has shown time and time again that he believes he’s the smartest and most important of Thomas’ sides. Saying things like “I’m the most important side here” or “I know I’m smarter than everyone else” or “I can usually solve problems on my own”. All of these show that Logan had a huge ego and a whole lot of pride.

Not only this, but Thomas recently built up this pride by complimenting Logan at the end of DWIT. Something that logan immediately let get to his head in the Asides episode. We all remember “Just your cool teacher being his cool self”. Logan’s whole character is built apon maintaining his pride and his image. He refuses to admit that he has feeling or show any weakness and he is too prideful in himself. This is where Logan’s arc is eventually going to take him.

🧡Orange and Wrath:

So that of course leaves us with one sin, wrath. I think that a lot of fans have speculated that wrath would be the next side, but with this theory, wrath would simply be one part of the sides personality. In each of the other sides, their sin is a small part of a whole. So with this logic, the next side would not be entirely wrathful, but would sometimes exhibit wrathful behavior or desires. Me and my sister, unfortunately couldn’t come up with one set-in-stone name for this character, but we were able to determine a lot of his charcteristics based on the context of the show.

Each dark side has been hinted at or forshadowed before he was revealed. For Deceit, thomas says something along the lines of “Lying is wrong, and thats a side of myself I would rather not feed into”. Remus has quite a few forshadowings. At one point, Roman says “and hopefully not thoughts of your naked aunt patty!” Which him and thomas then proceeds to be disturbed by. Remus is also forshadowed when Logan brings up being beheaded on A roller coaster. He’s even forshadowed right before he’s revealed in DWIT when Roman says “fishier than the crackens crack” and Patton reacts a little disgusted.

So we looked for instances where orange could have possibly been forshadowed and we found two moments in particular. The one obvious example is when Logan throws the balled up paper at Romans eye in LNTAO. The way in which the scene is filmed and logans remark “I don’t know where that came from” make this scene out to be very important. Not only this, but logans remark is the exact same one that Roman makes after the aunt patty naked quote. So this would then go to show that the next side contains a lot of frustration and build up anger and rage.

Another example of forshadowing is in the aSides episode. Virgil explains the encounter that Thomas had with his friend. Clearly Thomas was very angry and upset with this friend for his past homophobic views. He lashed out in a way that couldnt be encompassed by any of the sides other than orange. We’ve never seen one of the other sides angry like this before (except for the forshadowing with logan) so it has to be the last side. Thomas even responds to his friends “your behavior is unacceptable” with the snarky remark “oh yeah, like me being with a man is unacceptable?” Which is so out of character for any of the current sides to say. It’s also very curious to note that virgil is extremely anxious about the encounter. Virgil has shown in the past that his reactions to the dark sides are very intense, and I would feel comfortable saying that this is the most intense anxious reaction we’ve seen from virgil as of yet. With all that said, this encounter shows orange’s ability to hold a grudge and resentment or hatred for another person. While this doesnt show him being wrathful, or seeking vengence, it’s fairly easy to see how such hatred and grudginess could lead to him seeking revenge in the future.

Okay, wow! That took a really long time to write out... Please let me know your thoughts in the comments, or if you have anything else to add to the theory! I really appreciate if you made it through that whole thing, because I know I probably rambled quite a bit.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #363

(one more that’s a late upload from way earlier in the day, and i yet again don’t feel like updating the answers)

What brings out the worst in you? When I'm very anxious or having a PTSD episode, I can become very snappy and just not a joy to be around. What all did you eat today? This morning I had oatmeal, I had a rice cake as a snack, and lunch was ham and cheese on a tortilla. Some people were really destructive as a child, were you? No, I was a good kid. Who was the last person you were in a car with? My mom. Who was the last person you cried in front of? It was probably Mom. Do you talk about your feelings or hide them? I usually talk about them somewhere, like in surveys if I feel I can't with anyone else. Please be vocal with your feelings. It is so destructive to let them build up. Who was the last person you were with that smelled REALLY good? I'm unsure. Do you know anyone that is gothic? A good number of people, myself included at least in spirit. ;~; I can't really afford good attire, nor do I have the patience for so much makeup maintenance. Have you seen UP? I actually haven't seen the full movie, but I'd like to. How is your mom? Stressed as fuck and tired of everything. What color hair does your mom have? She recently dyed it black. Her hair is growing back totally gray now and she hated it. She's gotten so self-conscious as she's aged. When was the last time you were told you were cute? Idk. Do you feel comfortable getting up and giving speeches? FUCK NO. Have you ever dipped french fries in a frosty? I tried it once and did not get the appeal. Did you have school/class today? No. My school endeavors are done. Do you have any paintings in your room? If so, of what? Yeah, I have my big painting of meerkats grooming above all my 'kat plushies. Have you ever had your photo professionally taken? As a child and by school photographers, anyway. Would you prefer eating jello or pudding? Pudding. After washing your hair, do you put any products in it? No. Last time you ate a salad? Like a week ago when we went to Ichiban for my sister's bday. Do you know how old your house is? No, I don't. Have you ever been described as ”adorable”? Yeah. Have you ever given a lap dance? No. They seem incredibly awkward to me?? Would you accept a boring job if it meant you would make mega bucks? No. I can't do a job I hate for anything. I would be so depressed. Are you a moody person? Yes. What are you listening to? I'm watching Gab Smolders' new episode of Resident Evil 8: Village. I'm deadass watching four different LPers play it, I'm only moderately obsessed lmao. What video game could you waste the most time on? WoW, given it has like a zillion different things to do. Yet I still get bored lmao. What is your favorite condiment? Maybe Ketchup? I think I use that for the most things. What is the worst thing that you have ever done? I don't feel like getting into this. How old were you when your parents gave you the "birds and the bees" talk? They didn't; I learned in my school's sex ed in the 5th grade. Have you ever questioned whether or not you'd benefit from therapy? I have benefited from it. What would you like it to say on your gravestone? Hypothetically, idk. But I'd rather be cremated. Would you ever wear real leather or animal fur? NO. Have you ever completely failed a year of school and had to repeat a grade? No. Have you ever been bitten by an animal that wasn't a cat or a dog? Which? I think my old baby iguana bit me once or twice, not that it was very painful at her young age. I can't recall another animal. What type of literature are you most likely to read? (book, magazine, etc) Books. Do you prefer using candles, wax melts, or incense? Incense. Are you someone who actually doesn't have a Facebook? No, I have one. What kind(s) of Facebook groups are you active in, if any? I'm not really *active* in any; I just observe them and interact via "like"s. I'm actually in a whole lot of groups, though. Do you enjoy any herbal or fruit teas? What kinds? Neither. Do you hear any animals right now? No. What are your thoughts on Avenged Sevenfold? I know and like a few songs, especially "Dear God." Do you like Batman? Yeah, I like his "refuse to murder" ideology. The only thing is I kinda have a bad connection attached to him, because Batman was Jason's thing. Have you ever played fetch with a dog? Yes. Does your house have a fireplace? Yeah actually, but it might be fake? I don't even know lol. Have you ever pet a stingray? No. Have you ever dissected a baby pig in a class at school? Oh my god, no. I literally could never. I did dissect a frog in the 7th grade that wound up to be pregnant, though... I wasn't happy about it, but at the same time it was very interesting. Who is the last baby you held? My niece. Do you like Sunkist? The orange kind is fine, but the STRAWBERRY flavor? Jfc I love that shit. Would you ever consider being a cannibal? UM NO Do you have any scars from an animal? I have a lot of scars on my hands from playing with Roman. I scar extremely easily, so just his little scrapes leave marks. Have you ever seen an Igloo? No. Do you like Korn? Love 'em. How many animals do you have? Really two, but we have three in the house right now. Idk when this dog is going away. Are you more afraid of tornadoes or hurricanes? Tornados. Ever rode in a helicopter? No. Do you like rabbits? Yes, they're adorable. Do you like mushrooms? NO. What was the last movie you cried at? I want to say Logan, but I'm not sure. I watch movies so rarely that I really don't know. Would you rather work for a small or large company? Small. I'd feel more useful. What is the rudest thing a guy has ever done to you? I don't know. Have you ever read the book 13 Reasons Why? Yeah. I thought it was good, but now I don't remember like... anything about it. What did you have for breakfast this morning? I had apple and cinnamon oatmeal. How many times have you read your favorite book? Just once. I don't re-read books. Have you ever been on Omegle? No. Are you still in love with one of your exes? "In love," no. Do you think being born was a mistake? Yeesh, no. Has a relative ever been arrested? My psychotic uncle (by marriage) has been. Was it a serious crime? Quite honestly, I don't remember. I just know he's an angry and dangerous motherfucker. Do you think the Fountain of Youth exists? No. How about in a parallel dimension? Doubtful. Do you believe humans are part of a giant alien experiment? I ponder over the possibility of being a research simulation, kind of like a much advanced version of The Sims, but I honestly doubt it. Have you ever been suicidal? Yes. Was it a passing phase or is it something controlled by medication? Therapy and medication saved me. Is there a holiday you wish no one celebrated? Which is it? Why do you feel that way? Fight me about Christopher Columbus Day. He didn't discover shit. Have you taken any writing classes? How about art? I've taken a writing course in college, and I've taken loads of art classes. What’s your all-time favourite band? How about all-time fave singer? Ozzy Osbourne; Freddie Mercury. What three songs do you want played at your funeral? Why those particular songs? "Like A Woman" by Alice Cooper, "Life Is Beautiful" by Sixx A.M., and "Angels on the Moon" by Thriving Ivory. I just like them and find them suiting. Do you think most mythological creatures exist? No. Have you ever had lice? No. What is one superstition that freaks you out? Why is that? I’m not superstitious. Are either of your parents retired yet and if not, what do they do? No. Dad is a mailman, and while Mom doesn't ~officially~ work yet because she's recovering from intense cancer treatment, she very recently resumed lightly cleaning a church for a small payment. Kinda like a warmup. When did you or do you want to move out of your parents’ house? I wanna move out once I'm in a long-term, stable relationship with someone so we can live together. Me living alone is NOT a good idea. How do you like your current job, or if you’re unemployed, have you been looking for employment? I don't have a job, but when I go to my tattoo appointment, I'm going to ask them if they'd be interested in hiring someone for the front desk. I think it's def something I could do because I love the environment, there's really not that much I need to know (like where the Doritos are, dealing with exact change, answering a dozen unique questions), it's not insanely busy, and the occasional phone call would challenge my anxiety and just be a minor inconvenience to me until I got used to it. My partial hospitalization program really got me wanting to fight back against what gives me anxiety, to truly expose myself to what scares me, while not going totally overboard with it. It was encouraging to hear my therapist there thought it was a magnificent idea for me. I decided I wanted to ask while at the parlor getting work done to show serious interest (like I'm not just some random chick walking in and asking for a job), as well as let the people warm up to me. I'm trying not to get my hopes up too much, but damn am I wishing. I want it so badly. What kind of booze did you last take shots of? I've never taken shots.

[ts-unpopular-opinions]

Side Track Opinions Part 4: Patton

(Only three boys left! I think Patton may be the side who I’ve seen the least analysis about with regards to his playlist, so I’m excited to look a bit deeper)

1) Campfire Song Song: I don’t think the lyrics are very deep with this one 😂 You’ll find that a lot of Pattons songs talk about growing up, so I just find it fitting that a childhood song that probably brought Thomas a lot of joy is Patton’s first song.

2) Turnaround: Both Patton and Logan have songs from The Little Prince on their playlists, so my mind instantly goes to Logan. The song feels like Patton trying to get Logan out of his own head (““Straight (Straight), how can you be so straight? Life is everything but straight (Straight)” “Now, why don't you sing out loud? The tune you keep inside?”) He loves Logan a lot and thinks that sometimes he takes life too seriously and doesnt have enough fun (“Turnaround, and put your pen down”). Patton wishes Logan would relax and just enjoy life sometimes because he worries that taking everything so serious can be harmful (“How can you be so shy?” “Don't say hello, say hi”).

3) I Got a Name: Patton has trouble with Thomas growing up, we know this from the most recent episode. He worries that life is moving too fast and that he doesn’t know how to handle the change (“Movin' ahead so life won't pass me by”). Despite this, he has so many memories of Thomas’ childhood and he holds them very close to his heart (“I've got a song, I've got a song, And I carry it with me and I sing it loud. If it gets me nowhere, I'll go there proud”). Even though he cherishes these memories, he still thinks hes foolish to dwell on them and doubts he will ever be able to get over those memories (“Like the fool I am and I'll always be” “They can change their minds but they can't change me”).

4) Oranges: This song bothers me... Not in the fact that it’s a bad song or that its hard to understand, but it goes against everything we canonically know about Patton. While on first glance its a silly song about the words oranges and chocolates not rhyming with anything, its deeper meaning is actually more so about hiding away ideas and being afraid to make use of them (“How we take our ideas and put them in storage, But peel back the rind, who knows what you'll find”). If the song is supposed to be conveying Patton’s emotions, then I’m just confused. This song makes me feel like he wants to try out all of Thomas’ ideas and love every part of him, but we’ve seen his distaste for Remus is very obvious (“If you don't open a chocolate, who knows what you get”). I’m still on the train that Patton is the reason creativity split in the first place, so him saying things like these just make absolutely no sense...

5) I Don’t Wanna Pray: Although Patton takes religion very seriously and bases a lot of his morals on his faith, he has some doubts about whether religion can be the answer to everything (“Help me to the sun, hey I'm looking everywhere” “And now I don't wanna pray, no I say I don't wanna pray, no”). Patton has also begun to realize that God has created everything in the world, not just good and love, but also hate and pain (“I love my god, god made love. I love my god, god made good. I love my god, god made hate. I love my god, god made bad”). Perhaps this is shows his willingness to start accepting the darker parts of Thomas.

6) New Soul: Oh this is such a Patton song... Of course theres the obvious: Patton is Thomas’ inner child and encompases a lot of those feelings from Thomas’ youth. He hasn’t quite figured out how to function in Thomas’ more serious, adult life (“See I'm a young soul in this very strange world”). Then there’s lines like “Hoping I could learn a bit 'bout how to give and take” and “Finding myself making every possible mistake” that just feel so Pattony. He’s so lost and confused anymore when it comes to guiding Thomas in the right direction, but he tries his best. We can see that in the newest episode with him trying his less ‘assertive’ guidance. Despite this, he knows that he messes up all of the time and he feels awful for it. Everytime I listen to this song I just think of the “I’m sorry.... Again!...” line from POF.

7) Better Together: Oof... This is a tough one because its so loving and sweet. I find it hard imagining Patton singing to only one person, so I just like imagining him singing to Thomas, Roman, Virgil, and Logan. Patton, as we know, cherishes all of the memories that Thomas has created and that all of them have created together (“Our dreams, and they are made out of real things. Like a shoe box of photographs” “And all of these moments Just might find their way into my dreams tonight” “I believe in memories”). I also though it was super interesting that the song mentions “sepia-toned loving” because Patton’s room has a sepia affect when we see it in Moving On and I think this Patton’s nostalgia and this song go together very well.

8) Vienna: This song is so sad, but so sweet... To me, it’s pretty clear that Patton is singing to Roman (and obviously Thomas as well). He worries that Roman dreams too big and works way too hard in an attempt to acheive those dreams (“Slow down, you crazy child. You're so ambitious for a juvenile” “You've got your passion, you've got your pride, But don't you know that only fools are satisfied?” “Dream on, but don't imagine they'll all come true”). Patton wishes that Roman would be able to relax and just enjoy what he already has because he knows that Roman will only burn himself out in his attempt to accomplish everything he wants to (“Where's the fire, what's the hurry about? You'd better cool it off before you burn it out” “You're so ahead of yourself that you forgot what you need”). Basically, Patton loves Roman, but worries that some of his dreams are impossible to reach and that is hurting Thomas.

9) It’s You I Like: This song is for sure about Virgil or Thomas. I’m leaning more towards Virgil because the next song is also about Virgil. Really all I have to say is that the title says it all. Patton is ready to accept Virgil for who he is, problems and all.

10) Little Shadow: THIS SONG IS IMPORTANT! Patton is the one who brought Virgil out from the dark sides, or at least convinced him to leave for good (“Little shadow, to the night, will you follow me?”). I think this could be a big reason why Janus and Virgil have a lot of bad blood. Janus used to be Virgil’s source of comfort and protection, but one day Patton just decided to fill in that role and do it arguably better? I’d be pretty butt-hurt if I was Janus too. That explains why Janus was honestly such a jerk to Patton up until the end of the most recent episode when Patton accepted him. I think Janus realized just what Virgil must have felt like way back when Patton accepted him. Janus realized that he wasn’t good for Virgil like Patton is and that had to have stung... I guess we’ll see what happens between those two in the future...

11) Sad: What do yah know? Another Virgil song! This one was actually confirmed by Thomas to be about Virgil so that makes it easier to analyze for me 😂. Patton wants to help Virgil get over his pain and history with the dark sides, but he doubt if anything he does is helping (“You're just too good at being sad. I'm just a Band-Aid on a broken heart. Yeah, I'm the best at making you laugh for a breath, and you're back in your head, you're so sad” “Don't know if I'm hurting or helping” “All I wanna do is take the sad from you, But I can't and you wouldn't let me anyways”). It’s sad, its sweet, its very Patton.

12) Oh Heart: Thomas has a crush! Basically this whole song is Thomas singing about being in love with someone and him begging Patton, or his heart, not to make a fool out of him. I imagine Patton get’s really confused and jumbled up whenever Thomas is in love because love can do that to a person! It’s really cute and I honestly overlooked this song on my first couple of listens through the playlist. Here’s just some cute lines I liked: “Who am I kidding? You're the one” “Oh heart, Oh Heart, stop making a fool of me” “You should look at me. Look at me!” “I'm going to make you laugh again”. With this song and Jumpstarted from Roman’s playlist, I’m starting to see just how hard to handle Roman and Patton may be whenever Thomas has a crush 😂

13) The Flame: This one seems really deep, but for the life of me I cannot crack it. To me it just feels like Patton telling Thomas that no matter how dark things get, he can always look to his heart for the answer (“But hold on for your heart to beat inside To be your guide”). I honestly get really creepy vibes from this song. Like Patton is trying to get Thomas to ignore all of the dark parts of him and instead just keep listening to him and him alone (“There will be times that grow darker with the dusk, But light will still remain in us”). This song is just interesting to me because it feels like one of the first instances where Patton believes he has all of the answers and doesn’t need the others help. But truly, I’m not sure what this song is about.

14) Landslide: Did someone say time to cry? Cause it’s time to cry! This is a PERFECT song for the ending of POF where Patton admits to being afraid of growing up and changing. I think this song is Patton singing to Thomas about these exact fears (“Can the child within my heart rise above? Can I sail through the changin' ocean tides? Can I handle the seasons of my life?” “Well, I've been 'fraid of changin' 'Cause I've built my life around you, But time makes you bolder, Even children get older, And I'm gettin' older, too”). It’s honestly like this song was just written for Patton and it makes me wanna cry every time I hear it.

15) Float On: One word... REPRESSION! Not much to say other than Patton ignores all the bad things that happen to Thomas and just tries to act like everything is okay. Not a very good thing to do, but very on brand for Patton.

16) With a Little Help From my Friends: Another song that I hate to take at face value, but I don’t really have any other ideas for what it means. Whenever Patton is feeling down or in a slump, he looks to the others for comfort and support. Think, Logan giving Patton the cat hoodie at the end of Moving On. Those are the kinds of vibes I get from this song.

17) What Makes the World: (edited because I was looking at the wrong lyrics) Basically Patton thinks that love is the answer to everything (“Love makes the world go 'round”). No matter what, no matter how dangerous or serious a situation is, you should always trust your heart (“Oh, I heard to turn away a neighbour, Is living without danger, But that ain’t so”). All in all, Patton has a very unrealistic view of society. He tends to always see the good in people which can be a bad thing sometimes.

18) Somewhere Over the Rainbow: You thought the last song was foolishly optimistic... well youre in for a shocker with this one! Patton basically just goes on and on about how great the world is. I’m honestly starting to wonder if Patton is even capable of criticizing the world and the people in it. It seems like the only thing he can criticize is Thomas. Also, like I said in the last song, I think this creates an interesting dynamic between Patton and Janus: One loves the world world and only ever sees the good in everyone while the other despises it and sees the bad in everything.

19) Golden Slumbers: I feel like this one is way too short to get a huge idea on what it’s about. It seems to me like Patton is just comforting Thomas and reasuring him that things will be okay, despite the changes that are happening in his life.

20) So Long: AHHHH THIS SONG IS SO CUTE! It’s very fitting as Patton’s last song as well, based on the events of the last episode. If you can come up with an argument that convinces me that this song isn’t about Janus, be my guest, but it’ll be hard to do. In the song Patton basically sings about how Janus can be a pain in the butt and really get to him, but they work well as a team and he wants them to stay together as a team (“I won't get too sappy, I had no epiphany, I just enjoy your company” “You test my nerves, It makes me stronger. So can you bother me a little bit longer?” “Because it's been so long since I made a friend like you” “I could dot the I's and you could cross the T's, Cause letters alone are lonely”). Basically I love them, they are great, they are best friends now, and that after credit scene still has me shook over how quickly they just became friends. We stan our divorced dads 💙💛

(Sorry this took so long guys! I’ve been procrastinating! Let me know what you think 💙)

[raindropsduringthesunset]

Share Tea With Me (Can't We Watch The Stars?) (TSS Fateful Fae AU)

Ao3 ~~~ Wattpad

First Part, Last Part, Next Part

Characters: Virgil, Logan, Janus, Roman (mentioned), Remus (mentioned), Patton (mentioned)

Relationships: Analogical (Platonic), Analogical (Romantic?), Anxciet (Platonic), Anxceit (Romantic?), Loceit (Platonic), Analoceit (Platonic), Analoceit (Romantic?)

TW: neglect (mentioned), wishing death upon someone (mentioned), panic attack, crying, anger (brief, not directed)

cw: Remus (brief showing) (sympathetic), Janus (sympathetic), Patton (brief showing) (sympathetic), kissing (forehead, platonic), fear, exhaustion, food

Summary: Logan understood many things, but perhaps he has more to learn.

~~~

Logan had learned to not care anymore. He wasn’t unempathetic or unsympathetic- no no, those weren't the right words. He honestly wasn’t quite sure if there was a word for how he treated his empathy. So he settled with repressed. The word had a connotation that didn’t fit perfectly, but it fit enough. It wasn’t that bad; just a way to get shit done for once.

When he was younger there was never a time that he truly had to care. He was carefree, without any responsibilities quite yet. At that age, he’d settled for reading and researching when he had spare time- not that anything had changed over the years in that regard. Logan had always had a knack for picking up information and a talent for staying quiet. He used that to his advantage when he used to go to fae meetings.

He would hear one fae make a passive-aggressive remark toward another one, take note of when the selkies whispered to each other, pay close attention to the higher ranking faes eye movement. When you’re a young fae, there’s not much you can do other than observe while you wait for your magic and traits to grow in. It didn’t help that Logan, while a quick study, was a slow grower.

While he was far more mature than any of his clan- with the possible exception of J- could ever be, he always managed to get assumed to be the youngest at fae events. During the occasional poly-realm ball, Logan would constantly get assumed to be a new fae.

While most would find the assumption of youth flattering, Logan found it to be quite annoying. Why shouldn’t his maturity be reflected in his appearance? To be fair, Logan had full control over his human appearance, but his fae appearance was far too complex for him to break down enough to transform. Too much light, too many parts, too many oddities. He’ll stay comfortable with a human body that is malleable.

Now with V around, he wasn’t the youngest anymore- not by a long shot. V wasn’t that much younger than all of them- not when comparing fae years to V’s human years. At most V was about a year or two younger than Logan.

Logan thought it was… interesting. He by no means was going to make V a test subject. That wasn’t his place- nor anybody’s for that matter. He just found it so… fascinating how quickly humans aged yet how young they could appear to be. Logan tested a few things once V had arrived, checking outside of the realm every few days to see how the world aged and then checking on V. V was a passive test subject, not fully aware that he was participating in an experiment.

‘Experiment,’ J would kill Logan if he heard him refer to spending time with V as an experiment. Logan quickly realized that calling V anything other than a human was not his place. He found it appropriate considering that V, of course, was sentient and very capable of making his own decisions.

There weren’t many things that Logan didn’t understand. That was his ‘talent’. Apparently his clan- a chorus of very capable and powerful fae- lacked basic understanding in some- most- fields. Logan hated to sound self-conceited but the majority of his clan had… a different type of intelligence to put it lightly. The others had emotional intelligence, Logan had practical intelligence.

He supposed that was why he hadn’t tried to speak to V one-on-one until he had fully acclimated. Humans were very emotional beings. They made decisions and connections based on feelings more than facts. Logan somewhat admired that, it was interesting to see how humans were just so affected by emotions. V was a small example, emotionally attaching himself to J the moment the others were out of the way. J seemed to be far from complaining, happily taking the mortal under his wing.

Perhaps Logan wanted to know what it would be like to take V under his wing. He boiled down the urge to just wanting to study him more. Humans were interesting. Logan had many books about humans in his library- which in itself was very large- but none of them seemed to set out a full picture for him to analyze. Still, he managed to grasp at least a basic understanding.

There were very few things that Logan didn’t understand. He took great pride in that.

LINEBREAK

Logan ate quietly, chiming into the conversation sweeping over the table every so often. Pat had cooked supper that night, just a soup and sandwich. V was still getting used to regular foods and no one was very keen on accidentally triggering a possible allergy.

V sat across the table from Logan, J next to him. The two softly whispered to each other, J occasionally smirking a little bit and glancing up to the others at the table. V picked at his food, taking a bite every minute or so. Logan pursed his lips.

He wished V would eat more- or at least more often. Janus hadn’t gotten him to eat three meals even after a week of trying. When he would get the hang of eating, the boy was seemingly a metaphorical bottomless pit, but until then he seemed to barely be able to stomach even the thinnest broth.

“L?” J asked from over the table, “Would you possibly like to accompany us to tonight’s full moon? I’m aware that you will be staying up to observe it and I do not wish for you to be alone.”

Logan stared at the two across from him, thinking for a moment. His eyes managed to catch V’s for a microsecond, but that was enough for him.

“Of course, I’d be pleased to have you two- um,” Logan looked at his notebook for a moment, “ tag along…?” He looked over to the Prince and waited for his nod before returning his attention to J.

“Wonderful,” J moved his gaze back down to V, leaning down a little to whisper something in his ear. Logan watched as V nodded and picked up his spoon again, eating more of his soup. A loud clink sounded at the other end of the table causing the three of them to jump, the Duke looking over with a guilty look on his face.

“Sorry, Princy here thought it would be a good idea to hit my arm while I was eating.” The Duke sent a teasing glare to his brother, earning an exasperated scoff.

“Since when have you eaten soup with utensils and not just drank it from the bowl?” L asked, his face pinching together.

“I don’t know, I just felt like it today.”

“Sure, you totally weren’t trying to impress- hey!” The Prince’s teasing was cut off by the Duke elbowing him with a newfound smile.

“Kiddos, no play at the table.” Pat hummed before taking a bite of his sandwich. Logan rolled his eyes and stirred his soup.

TIME SKIP

Logan looked up at the sky, a warm hue of deep and dark blues capturing his gaze as he attempted to stare through the stars to see a planet that was supposed to be visible that week. He had a telescope but he preferred to not use it as his eyes had always been quite keen.

The chains on his glasses tickled his cheeks as he tilted his head back. The cold feeling of the quartz and gemstone beads ghosted his cheeks in a faux kiss from the crystals. The stars sparkled and reflected off his lenses, the light glimmering in his eyes.

“I do hope we aren't too late,” A voice- Janus- called as he walked into the field, V close on his heels. Logan tore his gaze away from the sky, shifting to look at the two.

“You need not worry, you haven't missed a thing,” Logan looked to V, “Good evening little one, I'm pleased you wished to join me.”

“Tha-,” V cut himself short, “I am grateful that you allowed my presence.”

“Oh darling, do stop with the formalities. Just relax for a bit, will you, my darling?” Janus rubbed his hand against V’s back smiling when he leaned into the pressure. Logan rolled his eyes at his fellow fae and returned his gaze to the sky.

The stars seemed to glimmer with newfound vigor, sending sharp waves of dark green over the sky that Logan was sure V could not see. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Janus helping the mortal get comfortable, taking off his cloak and folding it carefully before placing it on the ground.

You’re so meticulous with him.

Oh shut it and get on with whatever space tangent you have planned.

Watch your tone, Logan teased, his eyes locking with Janus’s.

Or what?

“You know,” Logan looked at the moon, “The moon, while it appears very white, is actually a soft yellow. Tell me little one, have mortals like you made it to space quite yet?” V blushed and shifted from foot to foot, words getting caught in his throat before he coughed them out.

“No, we haven't. I’m sure if humans went to space we would never believe the stories told by the explorers.” Logan hummed in acknowledgment.

“It’s not often that people truly believe stories, whether or not they are from reliable sources. The stories that I have seen humans believe have been purely nonsensical,” Logan cringed and glanced at V, “No offense intended.”

“None received. I understand why you have only seen examples like that. It’s not like you’re wrong,” V laughed to himself, making the two faes hearts leap and bound, “I’ve heard some… intense stories of my own…” The mood seemed to darken.

Janus and Logan looked between each other, both internally debating whether or not to change the subject. They watched as V slowly sat onto Janus’s coat, brushing his fingertips softly over the grass and its carefully grown ferns and fibers.

“The moon looks so big…” V muttered, letting out a shaky breath. A question begged on his tongue, his eyebrows knitting together. Logan pursed his lips and shrugged off his coat, placing it on the floor below him.

“The moon does tend to appear fairly large on nights like these. It does help that the sky is wonderfully dark tonight- and of course our setting assists in its clarity.”

“If you wish to ask a question, please do so. It would be a pleasure to answer any inquiries you may have.”

“Oh- uh… I was just wondering...” V tilted his head up to look at the sky. His face morphed slowly, unreadable to LOgan as he thought for a long moment before shaking his head.

“It’s alright. I… I’m not sure what I would ask you anyway.”

Logan and Janus exchanged a look over V before Logan nodded his head and glided through the grass to the telescope.

Taking off his glasses, Logan bent down slightly, gripping the body of the tool gently before putting the lens to his eye and closing his other. After a few moments of gently twisting the focus piece, he finally got the telescope to focus on the moon. The surface looked close enough to touch. It felt as if he could pluck the moon from the sky. Logan imagined what it would be like to touch the moon.

Perhaps it would be smooth, rolling gently in his hand leaving a residue of gray and tan in the crevices of his palm. Maybe it would be rough, like a dry ball of fragile mud, its craters leaving indents in his fingers. He knew it was illogical to imagine simply taking the moon from the sky like a berry from a bush, but the hypothetical of the situation was too interesting to ignore.

“Go ahead, ask.” Logan heard a soft encouragement from Janus, a quieter whisper from V attempting to counter it, “Darling, I swear by my honor that he would never be cross over you for wondering.”

Logan stood up straight, turning his head to look at V who was still trying to quietly reason with Janus as to why no he could not ask Logan a question, are you insane?

“If you have something to ask please go ahead little one, I truly do not mind.”

V’s body snapped to look at Logan, a surprised look in his eyes as he took a step back into Janus. He jumped at the feeling of a pair of gloved hands on his back, gently pushing him forward.

“Um- I- um,” V shifted from foot to foot, “Can I… May I use the telescope?”

“Of course! Humans have more… inefficient eyesight if I remember correctly, yes?” Logan asked, stepping to the side. Janus sent him a quick look before lowering his eyes back to the mortal.

“We uh- yeah.” L nodded and gestured down to the telescope, “How do I- where do I look?” V asked, a blush crossing his face.

“Just look through this eyepiece right here with one eye and close the other, if you wish to change the focus just rotate this right here.”

V strode up and hesitantly reached out, gently taking the body of the telescope in his hands with a feather-like touch. Slowly, he bent down to look through the telescope. The sky appeared a brilliant black, the moon radiating light.

Stars twinkled just past the focus, the faint sight of a plant he couldn’t remember the name of to the left of the moon. Perhaps he could ask Lo… Wait. A fist in his chest tightened on his heart as he spent more time looking. He tore himself away from the telescope, a pit of guilt settling in his stomach as he realized the fae were staring at him.

“I didn’t mean to… I apologize if I looked for too long.” V twidled with his hands.

“Oh little one, it’s quite alright. I can’t fault you for wanting to look- I offered after all. If you wish, you can look longer.” Logan reassured, a gentle smile gracing his features before he steeled his features. Despite his attempts at calming V’s worry, he stepped away from the telescope and wandered over to Janus, stepping behind him.

The three eventually grew more comfortable as the night grew darker and the moon posed itself about them. V laid in the grass, blinking up at the twinkling sky with his lips slightly parted. Janus sat on a stump beside V that he insists was there before he tried to down- oh please L, may we just move past it? Logan was busying himself with studying the planet beside the moon. The wind blew intermediately, keeping the three of them cool. A serine calm washed through like a rain shower, seeping deep under Logan’s skin as he scanned the sky.

Time seemed to pass slower in the moment as V slowly closed his eyes, letting the exhaustion built up over weeks of little sleep pull him into a deep pool of serenity.

“Is he asleep?” Logan asked, glancing over to V. Janus looked up from where he was busy sewing up a shirt and looked over V for a moment.

“I believe so.”

“Oh… He looks quite peaceful when sleeping. Younger, perhaps, is an appropriate word.” Logan said, tilting his head slightly as V’s nose scrunched up at the feeling of stray grass brushing against it. Janus hummed in agreement and slowly stood, dusting off his coat and letting out a low breath.

“I feel now may be a good enough time as any to take V to bed. We’re both thankful for you allowing us to take your time,” Janus thanked, bending down to gently place his hand on V’s arm.

He muttered a quiet, darling, may I carry you to your room? Which was followed shortly by a soft hum and V reaching one of his hands to take one of Janus’s in an attempt to sit up.

Logan watched, his heart aching with something he wished he knew how to identify, as Janus helped V stand and subsequently swept him up and carefully carried him. Janus draped his cloak over V as he pressed a gentle kiss to the top of his head before beginning to walk away towards the path. Logan took in a shaky breath and closed his eyes for a long moment.

Perhaps it was an appropriate time for him to turn in for the night as well.

TIME SKIP

V cursed quietly under his breath, falling forward slightly as he reached for the top of a cabinet. His attempts to reach the cups always seemed to be fruitless as he would eventually either have to climb up onto the counter or wait for a fae to wander into the kitchen and offer to get a cup down for him.

“If you would like some assistance I’m more than happy to-”

“HOLY FUCK-” V stumbled back, falling flat on his ass with a plop that made his head hurt.

“I apologize for startling you, that was not my intention,” Logan said from the doorway. At some point, he had entered the room, and V, somehow despite his typically sharp sense of perception had missed his entry.

“It’s fine,” V pushed himself up, rubbing his temples and the space above his eyebrows gently, “and… Yes, I would like some help.”

Logan strode gracefully across the kitchen and effortlessly took a pair of glasses from the shelf, handing one to V and placing his own on the counter below. He chose to ignore when V muttered under his breath, “Stupid fae and their stupidly long arms- not fair.” Logan let out a soft breath, a smile twisting at his lips at the comment.

“Would you like some tea? I always seem to make more than needed.” That was a… slight lie. Logan always made extra in case any of the others- more notably J- may like a cup. He was always more than happy to share with his friends.

“I, um… Sure?” V shrugged as he reached up once more and grabbed one of the far more accessible plates before pausing and taking down a second one.

The two worked separately; Logan boiling the water before placing in the tea leaves to steep, V buttering two buns before placing them on their respective plates. Logan hummed in satisfaction as he strained the tea and added a little bit of honey to both cups.

As domestic and comfortable as the energy of the room was, V couldn’t shake the tense feeling of his shoulders being hunched. He was so frustrated that he couldn’t just relax. He knew he was safe… didn’t he?

“Here you go. I hope you enjoy it, though it is alright if you don’t fancy the flavor,” Logan gently placed V’s glass in front of him, snapping him out of his thoughts.

“Oh, uh, here.” V slid one of the plates to the side, catching Logan by surprise.

“Little one, you didn’t have to.”

“I-... I wanted to. It felt right.” V interrupted, his shoulders tense as he awaited Logan’s reaction.

“Well then, I appreciate your kindness. I do quite enjoy these buns, to be honest,” Logan carefully picked up the plate, “I wish to eat with you if you are alright with that.”

“Yes- Yes, of course.”

V followed Logan as he wandered through the off door of the kitchen, entering the dining room beside him. The two sat down quietly next to each other, looking up every so often to acknowledge when a new fae would enter the room. The Prince and Duke simply bowed and took their respective spots across from the two. Pat waved excitedly and sat beside the Prince. J raised an eyebrow and moved to sit next to V, dropping a biscuit on his plate with a throwaway remark about how he should be eating more.

“V?” Logan asked as he placed his glass on top of his plate, scooting his chair back.

“Yes?”

“Would you perhaps like to join me tonight to study the moon again?”

“... Sure.”

LINEBREAK

It quickly became a routine for Logan and V- and Janus of course- to go watch the stars together at least once a week. Not that the routine had been happening for a while. They really wouldn’t interact much during the time they would spend out in the field, instead favoring observing the sky in silence.

After about a month the three had grown comfortable enough to share casual conversation. Sometimes Logan or Janus would tell a story about the fae, V always captivated by their colorful language and unusual tales. Not once though had V spoken a story of his own, though neither of the fae were making a living attempt to get him to do so.

Sometimes V would get so close to sharing a story before he would catch himself and quickly change the subject, tensing up after. Maybe, he thought, he should tell them something- anything really. He felt that they deserved to know something, even if V knew damn well that they were not going to like what they hear.

LINEBREAK

Logan had expected neither J nor V to come to visit him that evening. The two of them had had a long day, busy with things that Logan had decided were none of his business to know. It truly wasn’t his business, but when he saw the two of them at supper, their exhausted and slightly sad demeanors throwing off the entire table.

As much as Logan wished to check in on the two’s health, he figured that perhaps with how closed off they were it was best to leave them be. Even if the bags under their eyes made his heart ache.

While he knew well that J and V needed sleep, he did feel rather lonely at the moment. The lack of a questioning remark or warm body to simply spend the hours with left Logan feeling forlorn. He debated for a moment possibly waking Pat or even one of the twins before simply sighing and looking back down at his notebook to return to his sky mapping.

The wind blew harder that night, an occasional clear-skyed drizzle of dew dropping every once in a while. Logan could feel the tall grass bush its gentle bristles against his ankles, tickling the skin like a kiss from nature.

Logan cursed under his breath as he dotted incorrectly, only waiting a moment before using his magic to clear the ink from the page. His perfectionism never ceased he supposed.

A soft sniffle sounded a few meters away from Logan, him pausing his writing in curiosity. After a few moments of silence, he shook his head and resumed his work. Just as his pen touched the page a shaky exhale echoed closer to him, the soft brushing of grass and ferns rubbing against fabric trekking closer.

He raised his head to the sound and was shocked to find eye contact with none other than V. He assessed his body for a moment, taking in the tear tracks and red friction rashes that painted V’s face.

“Are you alright?” Logan found himself asking. V shrugged in response and shifted from foot to foot. Logan bit his lip and thought for a moment, glancing around the stargazing space.

“Do you perhaps wish to stay with me?” V nodded, hesitating before walking forward and stopping only a few feet away from Logan. Logan shrugged off his coat and shook it out before handing it carefully to V, smiling gently when he took it with a grateful nod.

V managed to settle on a dry patch of dirt- Logan refused to admit that he used his magic just for him to sit. V took the coat and wrapped it around his shoulders, holding the hands with a white-knuckled grip.

“Would you like to speak of what ails you?” Logan gently kneeled down as to not tower over the mortal.

V gazed up at him, the light behind his eyes morphic as if his soul were aching to tell him what was wrong. To Logan’s dismay, V broke their eye contact to look down at a flower, shaking his head just the smallest bit.

“‘Jus don’ wanna be alone,” V’s voice quavered, “Please?”

A sharp spike of pain shot its way through Logan’s heart. V’s shoulders trembled, him flinching when Logan reached forward before retracting his hand and shuffling to sit next to V.

“I won’t leave, I promise- it’s alright,” Logan soothed, keeping his eyes on the human for a few moments before tearing his gaze away. V spared a few glances to his side before slouching and allowing his body to relax.

The two sat in silence, the sky eventually recapturing Logan’s attention- though a part of him stayed focused on V’s presence. He glanced over to V for a moment before pulling his notebook out again and attempting to pick up where he had left off.

Out of the corner of Logan’s eye, he could see V staring down at the journal. He tilted his notebook towards V so he could see the drawing better while carefully drawing a faint line against the parchment, connecting two stars.

“Would you be interested in listening to my ramblings?” Logan asked with a gentle hum. V blinked up at him before nodding and scooting a bit closer.

“It’s easy to see the sky this time of year, I usually take the time to map the sky in this weather. You see,” Logan flipped the pages, showcasing a few very slightly different maps, “I do this once a month- I started this a few centuries ago. The earth orbits oh so slightly around the sun every day, changing the sky in such a way that you can practically never get the same image of the stars twice.

“Look here- This constellation, Taurus, is visible this time of year. If you look at the moon at the moment, the brightest star in the constellation, Aldebaran, is positioned close to the bottom left. Do you see it?” V nodded while looking to the sky. Logan smiled at the way the stars seemed to sparkle in his eyes, a newfound smile gracing V’s lips.

Logan continued to sketch and explain what each line meant, on occasion directing V’s gaze to a specific star or constellation. About an hour into their shared time, Logan felt the mortal lean his head against his shoulder, his eyes half-lidded and tired before fluttering closed. Logan smiled softly at the feeling of V’s warm body beside his. His lips tingled in a way he couldn’t make sense of. Logan turned his head and gently place a kiss on V’s forehead, resting his lips on the skin for a long moment before returning to quietly writing.

His chest burst with flurries of stardust and bliss. Later that evening Logan would have to scoop V up and take him back to his room, but for now to bask in the feeling of V beside him.

TIME SKIP

The following week, V seemed to open up more. While the emotion and nerves seemed to exhaust him by the end of the day, he still managed to spend the nights of the week out with Logan and Janus to watch the meteor shower.

“Did you know meteor showers are also referred to as shooting stars or star showers?” Logan tipped. V smiled and raised his eyebrows.

“Really? Well- I like star shower more than meteor shower. It sounds… Prettier.” He justified, Janus and Logan nodding in agreement. V shifted his gaze between the two fae before directing his gaze to the sky with wistful bliss coating his body.

“How do you just… know this stuff?”

“Humans haven’t discovered much of space- or any of it from what I’ve observed. But fae are a bit more… advanced than humans.” Logan explained, cringing slightly at his own wording.

“... Like with their eyesight?” V asked, not looking away from the stars. Logan sent him a small smile.

“Yes, you’re doing a wonderful job.” Janus nodded to Logan, giving him quiet praise of his own. V paused, his face morphing between expressions before he looked to the side, away from the fae. Janus looked over at the two from where he was standing, raising an eyebrow at V.

“Is there anything wrong, darling?” He asked. V’s eyes glanced over to the fae before snapping back to the sky.

“I… Space is…” He groaned and brought his hands to his face.

“Take your time little one.” Logan gently lifted V’s hand from his face, brushing his thumb over his knuckles. The touch was less to make sure that V didn’t hurt himself in his efforts to find words, more to just… touch him. Logan couldn’t explain to anyone why he felt such an urge to touch and pamper the mortal but he found he couldn’t find the need to.

“Space is big. I… Don’t know if I like it or not,” He continued, sighing before looking up again, “Space is big and… and scary and-” A few beats of silence passed before Janus frowned and strode over, kneeling in front of V and taking his chin gently in his hand.

“You’re leaving something out darling. It’s alright if you wish to tell us. We are more than happy to listen.” He hummed with a gentleness Logan wasn’t fully aware Janus was capable of- that didn’t mean he was surprised.

“It just… it reminds me of when I lived in my town.” The air immediately went stale.

“I wouldn’t- They wouldn’t let me in some nights. Some nights it was cold, others it was just dark, sometimes it was both. I… I hated it. Space wasn’t nice then- there was never enough light those days. It was like even the sky didn’t want anything to do with me…” V blinked blankly into space.

“I remember- the day I decided I was going to leave I was locked out. I already knew I was going to be but it still hurt. Someone had lit a bonfire at some point and I- I thought I was going to get burned again-” the fae’s blood boiled deep in their veins at how casually V uttered such abuse, “-so I just… planned in my head. I know there basically no going back. I’m… I’m alright with that. They don’t want me there anyway.”

V laughed at himself, tears springing into his eyes, “I’m not even sure I’m wanted here.”

A pang shot its way through Janus and Logan’s hearts as V tried to curl into himself. Janus reached carefully forward and cupped V’s cheeks in his hands, brushing his fingers against his cheekbones. Logan sat frozen as he tried to remember what the hell he’s supposed to do in these situations. Gods, human psychology books are hard to come by- let alone reliable books.

Logan swiped his thumbs against the backs of V’s hands, his throat bubbling as Janus cooed and soothed the mortal. V shook and tightened his grip on Logan’s hands.

“I don’t- I don’t know why I didn’t leave sooner. They wanted me to leave or- or die, or-” Janus hushed him softly, wiping away V’s tears as his voice was torn away from him. Logan looked up to Janus, silently begging for him to tell him to do something to help. He was answered with a glance of panic equal to his own

V let out a surprisingly quiet sob. Logan reached behind him and rubbed his back, his chest heavy with the need to hold him. Janus sighed sadly and reached his hands around V’s back pulling him forward to rest his forehead against Janus’s chest.

“Oh darling, it’s alright. Let go little one, we have you.” V took his now free hand and gripped tightly at Janus’s cloak, burying his face in his shirt. Janus wrapped one hand around his waist and buried his other hand in V’s hair.

“Take a deep breath starlight, breathe in- good,” Logan praised as V took in a deep shaky breath before wheezing it out and continuing to heave, “Come on little one. Look at me for a moment- just a moment.”

V turned his head, his red-tinted eyes meeting Logan’s, the tears seemingly never-ending. Logan reached the hand that was on V’s back up and gently took the hand V had on Janus’s chest into his own. He carefully pulled V’s hand towards his own chest, exaggerating his breathing. Janus watched the movements with understanding before beginning to move his hand in V’s hair.

“Darling, can you breathe with L? Can you do that dear?” Janus hummed while looking down at V. He nodded shakily and squeezed Logan’s hand a few times before attempting to follow his breathing.

Every so often V would space out and forget to breathe out but one of the fae would simply tighten their respective grips on him to grab his attention. After several failed attempts and gentle reassurances, the fae managed to get V’s breathing under control.

“Are you alright?” Janus asked, removing his arm from around V to allow him to move away. The mortal looked up with tired eyes before nodding and mouthing a reassurance voicelessly. He stood slowly, tugging his hands away from Logan and hugging himself at the sudden cold fire that burned his skin.

“I’m… gonna go to bed…”

“Would you mind us walking with you?” Logan stood up, brushing off the dust from his knees. V hesitated, biting his lip before slowly nodding. Only a moment later Janus was at his feet and the three began walking to the clearing.

The forest glowed with a strange aura of worry. As V walked ahead, leaves brushed against his arms as if the forest was trying to comfort him. After the practically silent trek to his room, he quickly reached for the door handle and twisted it.

“Wait!” Janus called, stepping forward quickly and took off his cloak, folding it and handing it to V, “If you start to feel lonely call for me darling.” Janus bent down slightly and pressed a kiss to V’s forehead. V gave him a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes and opened his door, holding the cloak close to him as he stepped through the gateway and closed it behind him.

Tension hung heavy in the air as the fae stared at the door, processing whatever the hell had happened in the past hour. Logan looked to Janus and clapped his mouth open and closed, words failing him at the moment. J sighed, fixing his hair and rubbing at his temples.

“I need some tea.”

TIME SKIP

“J, would you please calm down?”

“Calm down? Calm down?! L, you’re just as enraged as I am- don’t even try to hide it! That was completely unacceptable!” Janus ranted, pacing back and forth.

Logan let out a shaky sigh and flexed his fingers, sparks of magic popping aggressively under his skin. The rational part of Logan wanted to take a deep breath and talk about what had just occurred. The irrational part of him wanted to set something on fucking fire.

Rationality in any tense situation- and somehow it felt especially a situation under these circumstances- was hard to come by. Logan just so happened to have the eternal label of ‘voice of reason’.

“I am angry J, but perhaps now is not the time to… express that anger,” Logan rubbed the bridge of his nose, “I have the feeling that we haven't even scratched the surface of his trauma.”

“And that's supposed to be comforting information?” Janus asked, sending a glare to the other fae. Logan sighed and sent a twin glare back.

“Well you see, I’m not the one who is known to provide comfort .” He bit.

“Yeah- sure, says the one who just comforted V.”

“This isn't-” Logan cut himself off, closing his eyes and breathing deeply? “This isn't the same thing- and this isn't helping. We're just getting angry at each other. At this rate, we aren't going to get anywhere with this new information.”

Janus sat down in a chair that they had brought from the dining room, slouching before burying his face in his hands with a heavy sigh. Logan pursed his lips and turned around to the now whistling kettle, pouring the boiling water in two teacups and placing a tea strainer in each cup to steep. He gripped the counter, closing his eyes for a moment to just think.

What should he do in this situation- gods what would anyone do in this situation? This wasn’t Logan’s field. It’s a damn miracle that he even got V to calm down! Humans are so... so complicated, and Logan couldn’t understand how they worked- let alone the topic of emotions and how those worked with humans.

Logan's eyes focused on the now gold-tinted water in front of him, his hands suddenly scrambling to take out the loose tea to put in bowl to the side. He spooned in honey and placed the tea cups on matching saucers, breathing slowly as he did so.

“Here,” Logan said as he turned around, carefully handing a plate to Janus before returning to his place against the counter.

“I… I appreciate your kindness. I regret my wrath, you weren’t deserving of that.” Janus looked to the floor, shame shining faintly in his eyes.

“It’s quite alright, I too was acting inappropriately,” Logan took a sip of his tea, letting the warm sweetness of the chamomile coat his tongue, “While our rage is fitting, now does not seem to be the time to apply such a harsh emotion. We have to discuss what we must do with what we now know.” Janus smirked over his cup, swallowing a bit of his drink.

“Right back to business as usual my dear,” He teased. Logan rolled his eyes, hiding his own smile as he looked to his shoes.

“While the tone change is very welcome, I would like to make a few suggestions as to what we can do as precautions.” And as quick as the light air had come, it was washed out and replaced with a serious fog.

“Do share.”

“Well, to start,” Logan wandered to his seat, placing his saucer and cup on his flat lap, “We should make a plan on how to handle breakdowns such as this and share it with the others. Neither of us would like to see what would become of a situation where one or more of us do not know how to calm down V.

“Second, we need to make plans on how to ease into conversations like that with V. Clearly the abruptness of the conversation did not aid in his panic. Third, we have to tread lightly around him for the next few days. Perhaps-”

“On the contrary, I feel he may be more distressed if he changed our body language over the next few days. He seems to be more comfortable with how we act currently over how we would behave if we were to walk on eggshells around him.” Janus explained.

“Why would we walk on eggshells-”

“Just a figure of speech dear.” A fond smile quirked J’s lips, the taller fae blinking at him as he processed the words.

“Oh- alright, so what are we to do in order to make him more comfortable?”

“Just… behave regularly. Perhaps ask the twins to hold off their activities for a day or two.” Logan nodded, bringing his cup to his lips.

“Nothing more to suggest from me, is there anything else you wish to say?” Logan asked, sipping his tea. Janus got a chaotic glint in his eye before he looked to his tea, stirring it gently.

“You spilled tea on your tunic?”

“I did?,” Logan looked down, scowling when his eyes met a yellow-ish stain, “ Damn!”

TIME SKIP

When V walked into the kitchen the next day, Pat had left a plate on the counter covered with a damp cloth and bowl to keep the food warm. It wasn’t anything V could note as eventful, but the thought still managed to calm what tension he had woken up with.

As he wandered into the dining room, he noticed Logan sitting in his usual seat, reading a book with a plate of crumbs in front of him. Janus stood on the other side of the room, tending to a line of herbs outside of a ‘window’ (V had found that the window was simply a projection, not exactly real but not exactly fake. He couldn’t wrap his head around it but he decided that it made sense.)

Logan peeked up from his book, sensing V’s presence in the room. He smiled gently up at him before taking a hand off of his book and carefully pulling out a chair beside him. V moved quickly to sit in the chair and placing his plate on the table.

“Good afternoon little one,” Logan greeted, causing Janus to look up sharply with hopeful eyes. Once he had spotted V, he softened his expression and took off his gloves, placing them on the windowsill before walking over to the two at the table.

“It’s hardly the afternoon dear- good morning darling, how was your sleep?” Janus asked, lifting V’s head before ruffling his hair fondly.

“I slept alright, nothing notable.” V lied through his teeth, both the fae in the room internally cringing at the taste it left in their mouths. Janus sent Logan a look.

Should we?

No, not yet. One day, but not now. We’ll get there eventually. Let's just… enjoy the morning while it’s here.

Logan couldn’t object. Especially when V appeared so comfortable in his seat eating his breakfast. He allowed his focus to drift back to his reading as Janus returned to his work.

LINEBREAK

Logan was still struggling to grasp how to handle V’s mental health- not for lack of trying. Emotions had never been and he supposed would never be his strong suit. He had asked Pat for assistance on how he could help V cope with his trauma, but he didn’t get much of an answer- Pat didn’t quite understand how humans worked either. His empathy though- when in tense situations- had always been admirable.

He found it scare, not being able to understand. His heart ached with the need to understand, sharp spikes of pain slicing through his chest whenever he would see V tense and shy away from touch he very obviously needed. It scared Logan to know he didn’t understand how to help, or what he was feeling, or why he was so damn protective over V.

Logan felt something for the human. Something he didn’t dare call devotion. Something he didn’t dare call love. He didn’t understand how he could feel such things- such trivial, sporadic, terrifying things.

Janus had suggested in a late-night exchange of quips and tea that perhaps Logan just cared for V. Logan… couldn’t object. Caring was easier than loving- and as Janus pointed out that Logan adamantly ignored, loving caring a were possible to do simultaneously.

Logan preferred to simply care because he understood what it was to do so. There was security in understanding. Logan would call whatever he felt for V simply caring if he understood it- if he felt secure in his words.

Security and understanding were when V seemed to need in dire situations. Logan could provide that. Truly, he would provide anything V needed if he so asked- even if he would never admit it to save his pride.

Logan cared for V- that was enough for him to understand. That was enough for him to feel safe in his thoughts. Enough for him to know he would keep V safe. Caring was enough.

Taglist: @i-read-by-lamp

[wreckshavocmoved-blog]

    i cannot believe i hit such a huge milestone recently. I’m blessed with such amazing people and writers on my dash. #shookaf yeah i’m going to make that a hashtag. i cannot express how happy i am that more than five hundred of you have stuck with me with a blog that i’ve only had since january. and though this may be something small, just know that i appreciate every one of you. thank you for giving me and my portrayal of veronica a chance. even if we may not write together, just remember you are hella amazing. i hope you guys have an amazing day/evening wherever you are.  

            stuntin’ gang

 @vanityriot / @spellmage :  OMG where do i even start with you? this has been such a wild ride. so wild that we got to know each other so quickly in a span of six months. and it’s weird because i feel like i’ve known you my whole entire life. i’d totally believe we knew each other in a past life ( :thinking face: ).  i can’t believe you’re seven hours away from me and you’re the first person i’ve met on tumblr in RL, an experience that’s unforgettable. you know how b & v were forever forged, well rita and krislyn are forever forged. i guess we just knew from one meme that this was going to be it, that we were going to write reggie and veronica the way we’ve been doing. our writing and just in general, your presence, the vibes we’ve given off each other just cement how much you’re in important person you are in my life. i’m so happy and blessed to call you my bestie. i can’t believe we have so many similarities in interests and in our personal lives. i admire you so much, you’ve always motivated me to workout, to just be a better person in general. and i’m forever blessed by that. here’s to many more hangouts, drinking parties, sobbing about reggie and veronica, korean drama binge watching, and being there for each other. you know i’ll always be here no matter what. that’ll never change. just like somehow my day isn’t actually a day until i’m talking to you. #rideordie can you believe we were sleeping on each other until the river.dale fandom? 

@valiidations : okay i couldn’t tag your other blog, but i hope you can see this. leela, leela LOML.the river.dale fandom wouldn’t be complete without you. i remember we connected over a rant about kevin. and i think i knew from there you were just going to be someone special in my life. i’m so honored we were able to explore kevin and veronica, the way we have, and how in a way our friendship mirrors their own. i mean that in the way that we’re very close friends. we’ve been through a lot of things and despite that i’ve always loved despite the hectic schedule going on with our lives, you’ll always make time to talk to me. even if it’s just a little hello. you don’t know how much that means to me, how much happiness i get whenever i see you pop up. you never have to apologize for taking breaks, i’ll always be here. same with everyone else <3

@welldriven / @leftown:  lee, lee <3 wow, i can’t believe that this was another person i was sleeping on. i still remember being hella nervous to talk to you on jughead because your writing and your mannersisms were just so on point. and i’m like what am i doing ? i’m just this awkward mess. but we’re both cheese balls at the end of the day, we’re going to unite with that. your portrayal of all your muses and the love you put into them are just hella flawless. you know i’m always going to listen to whatever is bugging you. and we can definitely relate with a few things. next time, when we’re all united together we will be definitely going to that bar and yes we’ll have rum together. lol. i made you a promise about that and i’m not going to forget that. i’m just glad with how close we are and i can’t thank you enough for being there for me. also our snap rants stay iconic af.

@steeledveins :  sam ! my OG meme dealer, my cooking expert, and lover of all things HOT DOG BOI!!!! i will never forget that we bonded over gordon ramsey and we watched kitche nightmares while i was in the process of moving. good times and also many more rabbi.t adventures. it’s facts that we watch movies together. you never fail to make me laugh all the time, you’re so ridiculous, and i appreciate that we have the same type of humor. i’m blessed to have met you tbh. and i’m always in love with seeing you thrive on roman, aka the only roman for me. we’re pretty much the same in how we put a lot of effort into our muses. like we’re extra af when it comes to research and you get my struggles when we gotta make it on point as possible. i’m always happy to hear your thoughts on roman and i’m always happy to each about anything else you’ve been willing to share with me. thank you so much for being an amazing friend to me. 

@kefsana / @sonderlai  : miza, you’re here because ?? honestly i don’t think my dash would be the same without you. i’ve always admired the way you write. how you describe how your muses feel with such precise words like it stays making me cry. i love all the effort you put into your muses, whether it be from something philosophical sayings or just the random back and forth in our conversations that are insightful. we don’t have to be in the same fandom, i just love to admire you and everything you do. also, no matter what i’m always going to be here for you. i hope you know that. so, just thank you for being a blessing in my life <3. still pretty convinced you’re real life sana ? xoxo @ithurielbled : i have to include you, you know you are my love even if we haven’t written anything on veronica. i love you and clary to pieces. you’re such a sunshine and truly your words always bring me to tears. you’re so good to me, like you’re always spreading positivity through our convos and i know you do the same with others. you’re always making me smile and i’m convinced you’re an angel. also the way you detail how clary views someone or even the metaphors you use are so well thought out. your writing is very beautiful to me. also i always die with your rants about SH, they crack me up so much because of your passion for clary, the books, and your ship gives me joy. it’s a highlight i look forward to after watching an episode. i love you <3

@dangeress / @heartlikegold : dani! i think what makes me cry about you is that fact that i somehow inspire you to be a better writer/ you admire my writing?? idk, i’m always shook that someone would think that way about me. like that convo that we had about that really touched me. so thank you for that ? but also thank you for being hella supportive of my ideas and just in general. regardless of whatever happens, you’ve always remained resilient through it all. and i just admire that quality about you so much. thank you for being friend and blessing me with your portrayals. good shit if i say so myself !!!

@ithurielblade : MY GUUURL!!! i think you’re such a blessing in the SH fandom and i’ve always admired your honesty with anything. i’m always going to be proud to be your friend, and even if we are not always in the same fandoms i know that we’ll always find each other. are you sure you aren’t tracking me? jk jk. though we deffo need one soon, i love our ps4 calls and just our bonding of animes or video games. i think ffxv will forever hold such a special place in my heart because it brought us closer. i’m not sure i can imagine ffxv without because of that 3 hour call lol and supporting me through that post game quest. lord oh lord. and also, thank you for being such an understanding and lovely friend. you are of course my shade to my himalyan salt. one half of the most amazing thing and best inside joke we’ve come up with. we’re forever going down in history like that. #matchingdiscordusernames 

             people i love and admire ( whether or not we’ve written anything doesn’t matter):

     @steeledwill @joneshead @chaosblossomed @eatsboys @glossedlip @bravewitch @nightswarriors @crimsonuproar @atomicked @cinephiliac / @halfwithered @piinkperfection @scrveuse @daayaan @beedork @jerkisms @awesomegaydar 

[ethanjscannell-blog]

3

Apologies, this one is going to be a bit scatter-brained. I’ve been warming myself up to using this like a genuine blog where I can just put my feelings out publicly, but I’m still getting used to it. I’m already starting to feel much better about myself, and oddly enough, more like “myself” again. By that I mean, returning to a state that is as unregulated by a superego / authority as possible. 

Let me begin,

I think that the level of dishonesty that is apparent in any one person is proportional to the amount of unhappiness that the person will feel. Think of yourself as a child, carefree and enjoying the world, playing with your imagination, and having all the freedom to do whatever you wanted so long as you obeyed your parents to a degree (unless you had a shitty childhood idk). 

You were free to act in a totally natural way, including in how you responded to outside stimulus and other people, etc. but over time you needed to put dampeners on those feelings because not everything you did was deemed acceptable by society. And of course not, because bla bla bla, you get it, right? 

so over time you accrue augmentations to your personality by means of conditioned responses to the outside world. that’s fine. but this is also dishonest. it’s not transparent. it’s not really you at all. 

but then we would all act instinctively, like animals, and end up killing and raping each other until we’re full blown tribalism. 

I think there are two modes to the human personality, really... there’s the Id and the Ego, like Freud would say. Every living creature has the Id, which is desires like wanting to survive and fuck anything that moves. Even trees compete for sunlight. 

But what separates us from trees, insects and animals is our possession of the Ego, in other words, consciousness. But let me make it even more simple... it’s called Emotions. 

The state of humanity is therefore proportional to the amount of feelings and emotions we are free to express, which leads me to think that The Freedom of Speech is actually the only thing that matters when it comes to separating us from animals. 

I listened to Jordan Peterson a lot while I was in my alt-right-ish phase. I caught wind of him through other Youtubers and started to listen to his lectures on psychology. He was a really interesting guy, not because of what he was saying exactly, but how he said it. He was giving an accurate description to things and and yet seemed to remain politically neutral on most matters. This was totally different than the other people I was listening to, take Stefan Molyneux for instance (no offense, bro. you’re still a genius). 

Most importantly he was explaining political issues from both sides, as if they were both speaking a language that the other could not understand, and he could be the mediator. This was something I wished would appear in the political climate at the time, because as tensions escalated it seemed that all we needed would be someone to help each side understand the other. 

Peterson had an idea that he mentions as his “message to millennials” which is something along the lines of “clean your own room before you go out and fix the world”. And while this has good merit, and perhaps will lead to some people transforming their lives, I don’t fully agree with it, in part because it’s somewhat of a criticism against people protesting against the powers that be. 

Let me explain, 

Peterson thinks that if we were honest in our own lives and cleared up any dishonesty between how we feel and how we act, eventually this would ripple out in small amounts. First, we would clean our room. Then, we might clean our whole house, then the whole street, then the world. While I like the idea, and like I said, it has good merit... I don’t think it’s very practical. 

Why? Because it’s become incredibly hard (but not impossible) for ANYONE to survive in today’s world without living dishonestly in SOME WAY. We require the help of technology, businesses, money, and all other manner of amenities in order to earn our bread and fucking stay alive. And it’s not entirely clear whether or not these businesses are truly honest themselves.

This is why you have HUGE groups of unemployed people in protests like the Occupy movement. Sure, you may laugh and say “wow, look at them, they’re so pitiful!” But what would your alternative for them be?! To go get jobs and help perpetuate the same fucking businesses that are being dishonest to them? These people are the only ones acting honestly, and your solution would be for them to introduce dishonesty into their lives? 

I sympathize, these people may be acting honestly on real feelings they have, but their actions themselves are pitiful only because they are misinformed. What they should have done (if they were smart enough to make this connection) was go through the courts to make it so each and every business would have to be 100% honest about everything that they do. 

what? that’s fucking crazy! why should a business need to disclose every bit of information about who they are and what they do? how would they compete? how would they survive? 

I’m glad you asked. 

This is where I start to get passionate. 

A business, at its most fundamental level, is a transaction between two people over goods that they own, or whatever. Over time, that business might grow to include more people performing the labor required to make the product, and through this process, the business becomes further distanced from its customers. 

Who cares? Well, it wouldn’t have been so easy to sell your clay pots to Geraldo down the street if he knew you were making them with a mixture of 80% clay and 20% bullshit. But once you become a big business, those kinds of changes become necessary, apparently. 

Do you see what I’m getting at? 

Imagine the Google search engine when it was first created - it just searched for certain keywords and then returned some results. And it was really fucking good. So good, that you keep using it over and over until it becomes necessary to use it when you have any question. 

One day they realize this and think to themselves, gee, we could make some money off this if we compromise our original values and be a little bit dishonest with people. Fuck yeah, let’s do it! So they start collecting your information, lots and lots of it, with your implied permission (why else would you be using it?!). And to this day, Google is running strong. 

But what if they had been completely honest from the get go? What if they had said “we’re going to start collecting information from you because we want to sell it to other companies. Oh, and we’re going to start implementing a user interface that hijacks your dopamine pathways so that you’ll keep using our service, even though there’s no outcome to you for doing this. And there’s some other shit we won’t tell you about...”

If THIS were written explicitly in the Terms and Conditions, don’t you think some people would have slowly backed away? Don’t you think that some group of people wouldn’t have attempted to create a BETTER search engine that doesn’t include this bullshit? So tell me, how does a lack of transparency actually promote competition and innovation? I genuinely want to know. 

I mentioned in my number 1 post that if I mysteriously go missing, you’ll know to investigate the government first. However, I want to edit that now. 

The government isn’t the problem, per say. The problem is their inability to protect me from people who want to enslave me. Ideally, government is supposed to represent the people, and so the start to protecting us would be to stop treating businesses like people and granting them the privacy they need to be dishonest with us. 

Do you think this is ridiculous? The first step to wisdom is to call things by their true name. 

Why do you think that Jesus and Buddha were such monumental figures? What do they have in common?

I like to think of them both as people who were really good at seeing society in its most transparent form. They knew somehow that there was a TRUE way for people to live that was the most natural, and that society was making it impossible for some people to live that way. Jesus and Buddha are just examples of people who wanted to live as true as possible, but their approaches were quite different. 

I would label Jesus’s approach as more of a Revolution approach. He saw that the Romans or whatever were ignoring the fundamental values that they claimed to live by, resulting in large groups of people suffering as peasants and outsiders. He wanted to change it, so he started revealing what the Romans were doing and, out of fear of revolution, they killed him. Woo hoo, sacrifice! The Roman empire collapsed not long afterwards, just like Jesus said it would. 

The Buddha or Siddhartha or whatever you want to call him approached the truth from more of a Protest angle. Whereas Jesus wanted to change the society, Sidd decided that there was nothing he could do about it directly, so he lead by example. He attempted to rid himself of all desires such that there was nothing that society could really offer him. I think this is a less powerful approach, but it effectively does the same job of indicating that there is something wrong with society as it is. 

These are obviously very simplified versions of their stories, but I did this on purpose to illustrate a connection I see with modern day society. 

More and more we see people opting out either through drug use, running away, or becoming welfare basement dwellers. Why? These people have feelings which are totally legitimate and real concerns that can’t be easily answered by society. And so, interestingly, their feelings are forcing them to protest society at the cost of their own lives. Most of them cannot explain it this way, but I believe it is the truth. Modern day Buddhas. 

The others are out in the streets, protesting at rallies and crying out to the people in power to be honest with everyone else. If Jesus was alive today, what do you think he’d be doing? 

Anyway that’s it for now. Hopefully I don’t sound like a guy who’s too overly paranoid or someone with lots of observations but no solutions. I’ve only just started to open up about all my thoughts so there’s more to come. 

As for any dishonest businesses out there reading this and thinking “oh shit”. Well repent now, lawyer up, and do whatever you gotta do, because I’ll be coming for YOU, motherfucker. And if I go missing then you know where to start.

;)

Love, me. 

[sign-from-god-complex]

Spooked

@partialentirety I can’t believe you made me write this (I’m kidding, but you suggested someone write the Logan Crofter’s thing and I thought about it and just couldn’t help myself). So this is loosely based on this post!

Summary: It's well established that Logan would do almost anything for a jar of Crofter's and Virgil and Roman are not above using that to their advantage.

Pairing: Platonic LAMP, with a focus on (platonic) analogical

Warnings: Food mention? Other than that really nothing!

Tag list: @mutechild @super-magical-wizard 

AO3 Link

It had started off subtle. At least, Logan thought it had.

To begin with, it was more of a pavlovian response than anything. First with Patton asking for his assistance with dinner and subsequently making pancakes with Crofter's for breakfast the next morning; next with Roman wanting help with organising his writing and providing Logan with Crofter's on toast afterwards; then Virgil getting him to keep Roman distracted for an hour in return for a Crofter’s and Nutella sandwich, etc. etc.

Logan sort of just... came to expect a Crofter's-type reward for helping out his roommates. And he received one, without fail, every single time.

Most commonly it was toast or sandwiches, sometimes even biscuits, but on rare occasions, Logan would be provided with Patton’s Crofter's cookies—delicious homemade shortbread with Crofter's baked into the middle. And on even rarer occasions Logan would be rewarded with a whole jar. An entire jar of Crofter's jelly for him to do whatever he pleased with (though really, both he and his roommates knew exactly what he was going to do with it—consume the entire jar the second he returned to his room).

And, okay, sure, maybe the lure of that delicious fruit spread had enticed him into doing a few things he may not have done otherwise—take care of Virgil’s pet spider for a week while he was away, agree to read Patton a bedtime story and clean Roman’s entire room, to name a few—but he had it under control! He knew what was happening and it was all under control.

So how, exactly, he'd managed to get to this point, he wasn't entirely sure.

11:37 p.m.

"I'm sorry, what are we doing?"

The living room was covered in empty cardboard boxes, wires and... Logan supposed “equipment” would be the correct term, but he used that word loosely. Virgil was currently preoccupied with laying some cables across the living room rug but at Logan’s question he glanced over and rolled his eyes.

"The apartment is haunted, genius, I told you. Me and Princey here are setting up a trap and you—" he pointed a finger at Logan—"are going to be the bait."

Logan blinked.

"The apartment is not haunted, Virgil."

"Oh yeah?” Virgil sat up, giving him a mostly harmless glare. “Then how do you explain that time when we woke up to find every cabinet in the kitchen open? Huh? And what about the time every single pair of our shoes were thrown out the window overnight?" He adjusted a wire beside him, muttering, “Thank god we only live on the second floor.”

"You know I hate to agree with our resident storm cloud, but he is right,” Roman said, pushing himself up from where he was fiddling with a grey box on the ground, “Weird things keep happening in this apartment and we’re going to find out why.”

Logan sighed. This clearly wasn’t a fight he was going to win today.

“Okay, alright. Regardless of whether or not the apartment is haunted—which, by the way, it isn’t—what makes you think I’m going to agree to be the bait?”

Virgil and Roman exchanged a look which Logan was sure did not spell out good things for him.

The two of them were notorious for mischief, actually. There had been an ongoing pranks war for months during their first year of living together before they’d eventually called a truce, and even now April Fools Day was a day to be feared.

Virgil, of course, had a running list of things it was not okay to mess with during a prank—including obvious things like physical harm and anyone’s mental wellbeing, and not so obvious things like the sugar content of meals or the destruction of any books.c

Logan had managed to avoid being involved in any of Virgil and Roman’s hairbrained schemes thus far mostly by claiming complete disinterest, but he had a feeling he wasn’t going to be able to get away with that this time.

He watched as Roman reached into his bag and drew out a single jar of jelly. Crofter’s. Logan’s Berry.

Goddammit! He had classes in the morning! He could not afford to be playing ghost hunters with his stupid roommates well into the night; he needed optimal sleep and rest.

“No. No! You cannot keep doing this! This is not going to work every ti-” Logan was waving his hands in front of his body in a negating gesture but stopped cold when Roman made direct eye contact, reached into his bag, and drew out another jar of Crofter’s.

Shit.

Logan shut his eyes with a resigned sigh. “Give me the fucking jars.”

There was a cheer from the other two as Roman handed the jelly over—complete with a spoon—and Logan dropped into the armchair, clutching the obtained Crofter’s closely to his chest.

12:05 a.m.

Just as Logan was finishing off his first jar of Crofter’s, Virgil announced that they were “all set up”. He took a seat on the couch next to Roman, pulling his knees up to his chest.

Across the living room rug, Logan could see about 15 different wires in all different colours, set up in a grid pattern. Logan assumed there was some sort of method to the colours, as it certainly wasn’t arranged for aesthetic purposes—plainly put, it looked awful.

“Right.” Logan frowned at the floor. “And what is this, exactly?”

Virgil grinned, balancing on the balls of his feet on the couch cushions and really, couldn’t anyone in this house ever sit like a normal human being? 

“It’s an electromagnetic grid,” he explained, “Don’t worry, it’s totally harmless to us, but to ghosts… and, uh, rats, it’s kinda like a super uncomfortable jail.”

Logan inhaled. “I see.”

He didn’t know where Virgil got the information he was standing so firmly behind, and quite honestly, he wasn’t sure he wanted to know. It was probably best he was left in the dark on this one.

“Okay, Lo,” Virgil instructed, “What we need you to do is, when you see the ghost try and lure it over here so that it’s floating above the grid, and then, when it’s in position, press the big red button on the box by your feet and we should have it trapped. You got that?”

Honestly, he looked entirely too proud of himself for a plan that could have just as easily been concocted by a four-year-old with an overactive imagination (so, Roman), but he kept that to himself. After all, the whole situation was ridiculous so the complexity of the plan wasn’t really something he was all that worried about.

“Okay,” Logan responded, with what he thought was a healthy amount of scepticism, “and what exactly do you plan on doing with this “ghost” once it’s captured?”

Roman gave him a look like he was being an idiot, which Logan thought was ironic given the circumstances. “Why, we ask them to politely leave, of course!”

Right, of course.

“Anyway,” Virgil continued, voice a little sharper, “While you play bait out here, me and Ro will be hiding so the ghost doesn’t see us and get spooked. You ready to go?”

Logan sighed. “As I’ll ever be, I suppose.”

“Great,” Virgil replied and with a grin, dashed to hide in the entrance to the kitchen.

1:22 a.m.

Logan felt as if he’d been waiting in the dark for days now at this point, though likely it had only been an hour or so. As was to be expected, no one had heard a single strange noise or seen a single strange thing in the time they’d been sitting there and Logan truly wasn’t sure how much more he could take.

He had counted and mentally catalogued every item in this room twice already and he was strongly regretting not fetching a book before they’d begun, even if all he would’ve had to read by was the light produced by the box at his feet and Roman’s flashlight resting on the windowsill behind him. His patience was seriously beginning to wear thin.

“And when, exactly, is this so-called-ghost supposed to show up?” Logan whispered in the general direction of the doorway where Virgil was “hiding”. He’d tried speaking a regular volume earlier this evening and, to the backdrop of Roman and Virgil’s insistent shushing, Logan had decided it was best to play along.

There was a slight shuffling noise from the kitchen before Virgil spoke up. “I dunno, it probably should have been here by now, right?”

There was a note of hesitancy in his voice that Logan felt was entirely justified and, in fact, probably should have appeared sooner.

You would think that Virgil would be more nervous about this whole “ghost catching” situation considering his almost crippling anxiety disorder. From many a late night conversation, Logan was aware ghosts were a thing that Virgil was interested in, however, he’d always thought it was more in the abstract—enjoying creepy places and being curious about historically significant “hauntings”—not quite so concrete as believing their actual, real-life apartment was haunted.

It seemed as if his excitement was trumping any fear and Logan was not entirely sure that that was a good thing.

“Well, maybe it doesn’t want to show up, what with specs over here searching the room like he’s looking for his lost contact lens!” Roman hissed from his spot behind the couch—and really, if their problem truly were a ghost, Logan is sure Roman’s hiding spot would not protect him from being seen—“Pretend to be asleep or something!”

Logan sighed, moving around in the chair until his head was settled against the armrest and closing his eyes. “That shouldn’t be hard, considering that is what I should be doing right now.”

And with that, the room fell back into silence, and despite Logan’s best (well, maybe second-best) attempts, he found himself drifting off to sleep.

3:13 a.m.

“Guys. Guys, wake up. I heard something.”

Logan felt a voice pulling him out of sleep and into consciousness. The surface beneath him was moderately uncomfortable—it certainly wasn’t his bed, it seemed more like a chair. In fact, when he opened his eyes he could vaguely make out the shapes of the living room furniture.

Logan blinked a few times. Why was he in the living room? And if this was the living room, then what was that all over the flo-

Oh. Right. This.

“What was that, Virgil?” Logan mumbled, stretching out in the armchair and wiping the sleep out of his eyes.

Virgil's voice was a little harsher this time, slightly more panicked yet still quiet. “I said, I heard something.”

Logan sighed. “Are you sure it isn’t simply a cat on the roof? Possibly the w-”

His rationalising was cut off by the sound of a step creaking.

Oh.

Okay, well, there was no reason to jump to conclusions. Logan was sure it was just the apartment settling, old buildings did that sometimes.

“You heard that too, right?” Virgil sounded panicked and Logan raced to assuage his fears.

“Yes, Virgil,” he whispered, “but I’m sure it’s noth-”

Another creak on the stairs. Closer this time.

Logan took a deep breath, trying to calm his racing heart. What could he possibly have to be worried about? Ghosts weren’t real. He was simply indulging Virgil and Roman (the latter of which, actually, Logan was sure was still asleep) with their nonsensical ghost theory and nothing more.

It was only a moment before the stairs creaked again, closer than before, and Logan distantly realised he had curled up tightly in the chair—his legs pulled in tight to his body and arms wrapped around them. He forced himself to relax. There was nothing to worry about. There was absolutely nothing to worry about.

With a final creak, a figure appeared in the doorway to the living room.

And as that figure stepped out of the doorway and into the light of the flashlight, all the tension Logan held left him in one big exhale.

“Patton?” Virgil said, clearly giving up on the idea of being quiet, and this time it was Logan’s turn to shush him.

“Virgil, he is clearly sleepwalking,” Logan whispered, “Please refrain from startling him; he would likely be very disoriented were he to wake up here.”

Logan watched him curiously, all his previous apprehension far gone. Patton was making his way around the couch, mumbling to himself words that Logan couldn’t quite hear. Once he reached the windows, Patton grabbed the ends of both of the curtains and began tying them together.

Logan could make out, “Gotta make sure you don’ fly away,” in amongst all the gibberish and he chuckled softly to himself. It seems they’d found the culprit after all.

Logan raised an eyebrow at Virgil, who’d stepped out of his hiding place to sulk in the doorway instead. “Would you still like me to “trap” him?”

“Oh, shut up,” Virgil scowled, “I can’t believe I bought all this stupid equipment for nothing.”

He moved over to the middle of the room and began to pack up all the junk laying there, evidently deciding that it wasn’t worth it to wake up Roman.

“Yes, it would appear that is the case, wouldn’t it?” Logan said smugly, acting as if he’d never been worried even in the slightest. He wasn’t sure Virgil bought it. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to put Patton back to bed and maybe finally get some proper sleep myself.”

He placed a hand on Patton’s back and led him gently towards the stairs. Before they actually began to ascend the steps, however, Logan spun around to glare at Virgil.

“Oh, and the next time you two want a guinea pig for your ridiculous antics, call someone else.”

So, of course, two weeks later Roman and Virgil were back, waving two individual jars of Crofter’s in front of Logan to entice him into something ludicrous and time wasting. Logan agreed. After all, they were nothing if not predictable.

[perspectiveswithjasmine]

Interview W/ Pamela Herbert By Jasmine Huete

As I began to exit the Elevator and proceed down the Hallway, which led me to a classroom numbered D419, I could hear the murmurs of students chattering and laughing as I stood behind the door. Entering the room, I saw 4 rows of desks lined up. Among them were students, each one working on their own art projects. Each table and student was equipped with a different type of utensil that would assist them in their work. Some had paint and brushes, while others had different types of chalk for individual shading. There were students who were using water colors and some who were simply sketching with a Pencil.

“You’re Doing an excellent job, just don’t forget the detail”, I turn to see Pamela Herbert, one of the current art Professors at Los Angeles Trade Tech college, who was assisting one of her students with their painting. She sat in the corner of her room alongside her desk, which sat a computer monitor which she would use to help students with research in art history or inspiration, or in my case, help me find google images of this year’s 2017 Met Gala’s best Dressed.

With her classic blonde bob haircut and paint covered smock, she greeted me with a smile. Though she was covered up to prevent from getting her clothes covered in art materials, you could still catch a glimpse of her style through her accessories. From a variety of bracelets, accompanied by a silver watch, to simple pearl earrings, she still managed to uphold class and chicness, even in her professional setting.

(Pamela Herbert Sitting At Her Desk In The Front Of Her Classroom)

JH: What is it about art that Moves you? Do you feel it is a skill you are born with? Or do you think it’s something you can teach yourself?

PH: I’m a firm believer that if you’re Interested in something, that it is not imbred in you. I was the Daughter of an art teacher and by the time I was three, she stuck a crayon in my hand and so became Pamela’s first drawing, so I think since I was around it my whole life and I was so interested in it, I don’t think it has anything to do with genetics. I think it just has to do with passion, and just like any other skill, to keep at it and keep trying. It starts with an Interest and a love and you find the more you do, the better you get.

JH: At what point did you know you wanted to be an Artist? Do you feel like artist’s have moreof an openness and understanding to the world? Or do you see that as a Cliché?

PH: I’ve always wanted to be an Artist and I’ve always wanted to be a teacher. Even my mom laughed, when I was a kid I would arrange my dolls and take attendance, she knew I was in trouble. And I honestly do think artists do look at the world differently. They’re so visual, little things don’t escape them and they’re creative thinkers. They have a tendency to put things together that people normally wouldn’t think of doing beforehand. It’s the creative process, whether It’s in art  or in literature, it goes towards all of the arts. It’s just the way you look at the world and re-piece it together.

JH: Taking your course, I’ve personally seen your teaching style and how much you enjoy you profession. You’re really Good at it. What is it about teaching art makes you happy?

PH: I think to watch someone blossom, like yourself when you turned in your shading project and got an A, you were so happy, your face lit up. To see people who’ve never worked with color before start to be very comfortable with color, somebody who has never thought of going to an art museum or an art show, getting themselves out there and looking at the world differently. In my Art history class, one student came up to me and said. “I was so content living in my house for thirty years and after taking your class, I realized that I have roman columns on my front porch, and it’s all your fault. Everyday I come home  and stare at the columns, analyzing it’s history and where it came from”.

(A Portrait From A Student From Pamela Herbert’s Class)

JH: It’s funny how in every art, there’s something you capture. For me, since I’m more into writing, I personally pay attention to song lyrics, and I internalize them, and it becomes something more meaningful to me. So I totally agree, I think because we are so critical on those things.

PH: Because we look at things so differently and we’re so perceptive, we have a tendency to put things in a different way that makes the rest of the world go “I never saw it that way, or I never would have thought of that”. Art really is a reaction to the world around us. The more we see the world around us, it’s just our reaction. And so for me, to teach someone to look at the world in a way they’ve never seen it before, I think that’s my greatest gift. Definitely my greatest reward.

JH: It’s crazy because you know you’re making someone’s life better.

PH: Well I don’t know about better, just weirder for sure haha.

(Pamela Herbert provides all of the Art Material For her students, allowing them to save money and focus on their Art)

JH: With the social climate being so tense all over the world, how would you describe you perfect World/Country/Society?

PH: Well, I think it’s a reflective of what I try to teach. And I think in the ideal world is something that people here in southern California deal with everyday, and that is that we all have to live together, regardless of size, shape, color, ethnic background or whatever. We all have to deal with the people involved and not the stereotypes. And I think that would be the ideal world, and we leave all that other junk behind and look at each other as individuals and nothing else.

JH: And for a community off of that?

PH: And form a community off of that, absolutely, that would be amazing, there would be no pre-conceived ideas.

JH: Out of all of your experiences as an artist, can you recall one of your memories?

PH: It seems like everyday a new favorite one comes. Not one in particular, I really can’t, because I’ve been so fortunate to travel and to be able to work with such great students. To be here at a school where people ask “Well why would you want to come down here”, and I really am so blessed to be here, and to be a teacher, and to be able to travel. I think everyday is special. I can’t see any day being one more special then any other day in the Arts.

(Pamela Herbert Assisting A Student With Their Artwork)

JH: Art. What’s the best part about it? Do you think it’s the fact that people can express themselves in their own reality? Or do you think it’s the fact that they create something tangible?

PH: That’s a tough one because every artist is different in what they’re trying to portray and what they’re trying to show the world. Some of them are showing personal expression, some of them reacting to a certain event, and some reacting to materials. Every artist is very unique and different in how their trying to see themselves in the world. And  I think that’s the main thing, how each person sees themselves within the world and within the community.

After the Interview with Pamela, i had felt a sense of contentness and peace. It was refreshing to get some insight from someone who genuinely woke up every morning just to Teach and to not only help students learn art, but to help them grow as Human Beings. Hearing her Perspective on life, it opened my eyes to the ways of an Artist and how she interprets the World. She truly is an Inspiration and it’s an honor to be able to show everyone her opinion and share her reality.

[sign-from-god-complex]

A Gift From Me To You - Chapter 4

Chapter Summary: Roman remembers a moment with Logan and learns something new about him too.

Warnings: Some negative self-talk

A/N: Ohh, things are starting to happen now! Hopefully, it’s all okay!! There are things in this chapter I could be a bit happier with, but I gotta keep moving on to actually get this finished, haha. We’re nearly there!! 2 or 3 more chapters, probably.

AO3 Link //  Link to Chapter One! //  And Two! // And Three!

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Roman couldn’t get the boy from the hallway out of his mind. Beautiful dark brown eyes had haunted him throughout the rest of his classes, occupying his thoughts far more than the lessons did.

Really, he tried to not take the boy’s quick exit personally. He’d already appeared to be quite upset, so even though Roman had been trying his best to be calming and non-threatening, he must have seemed a bit intimidating all the same.

People put him up on some weird “popular” pedestal—which was frankly quite ridiculous—and it had resulted in more than a few people being afraid to talk to him. It’s not like he was generally all that interested in talking to people as it was, but this boy was different.

It had been a while since Roman had had a crush. Probably not since he got together with Patton in fact. Although Roman and Patton had discussed polyamory—a major change in their relationship that it certainly took him a while to be comfortable with agreeing to—Roman hadn’t so much as looked at anyone outside of Patton and Logan for over a year.

And Logan was… well, Logan was different. How Roman felt for Logan wasn’t a crush, not really. It was some kind of indescribable admiration paired with the sense that he was just always going to be there. Days when Logan wasn’t present at school, either due to sickness or extracurriculars, they always felt… off. Logan had managed to entwine himself so subtly and intrinsically into Roman’s life that he hadn’t even noticed the day he fell for him.

It was different from how he felt for Patton, and it was different from how he felt for the boy in the hallway, but it was special. It was close. It was solid and dependable. And Roman honestly couldn’t imagine living the rest of his life without him anymore.

Which definitely scared him to death, though he’d loathe to ever admit it.

The idea to add Logan to their relationship had originally been proposed by Patton, about a month after Patton had confessed his initial attraction. Roman’s gut reaction had been to say, “No, absolutely not, you’re mine and no one else’s”, but he’d been working on not letting his insecurities get the best of him. So, instead, he’d thought for a moment.

How he’d felt for Logan at the time had remained unclear. It had been lost in the mess of emotions swirling in him at the premise of having more than one partner at once. It was something that interested him, but at the same time, it was something that frightened him deeply. He knew that.

There was too much potential for heartbreak with three partners. Roman knew he wasn’t a catch—not the way Patton and Logan were—and once they realised they were better off on their own, they would drop Roman in a heartbeat. Patton would feel bad about it of course, but in the end, he would be happier.

That was the worst part about it. Roman knew Patton would be happier with Logan and without him, but he loved Patton. He just couldn’t bring himself to let go.

“I’m not saying yes, and I’m not saying no,” he’d spoken slowly, “But would you please let me think about it for a while?”

“Of course, Ro,” Patton had beamed, “And I’m proud of you, you know? I know it’s hard for you to not instinctively reject the idea, hard for you to believe that my love for you is unwavering and forever, but it is!”

Patton’s face had become a little more serious, a little less bright.

“And, if dating Logan—whether that’s just me or both of us—proves to be too much for you? That’s okay. I won’t push you into anything you don’t feel comfortable with, my prince.”

Patton had pulled Roman into his arms, kissing the top of his head gently as Roman mumbled a thank you into his chest.

Roman had considered it for several months, then it had all come to a head one day during maths.

They’d been doing some practice from a workbook, so although Logan was trying his best to concentrate, Roman was talking at him. And he says talking at him because Logan virtually never replied.

It was one of their established routines. If Logan was in a good mood and the teacher wasn’t talking, Roman would spend part of the lesson telling him about his most recent audition or about the cool tv show he was watching or any number of different things. Logan never gave any kind of response, but Roman knew he was listening.

Roman had been rambling on about how he’d been revisiting some older tv shows and, “have you even seen The Nanny? It’s hilarious. And Fran’s outfits? Truly she’s a goddess,” when he’d been interrupted by a quiet, “what?” from Logan.

Hearing Logan say anything during the lesson was surprising, so Roman had looked up from his book to check what was going on. Logan had been clutching his pencil tightly, focusing a glare on the book in front of him. He’d then scrambled for the answers at the back of the book and levelled a glare at that as well, before slamming the book shut.

Roman had been about to ask Logan if he was having trouble—and truly that would be surprising, Logan was excellent at maths—when Logan had scowled and said, “This book is wrong.”

He’d looked so indignant that Roman had had to laugh. He’d known he was going to get in trouble for being so loud but he just hadn’t been able to help himself. Of course, Logan would be the only one in the class to find an error in the book—and Roman hadn't doubt for a second that there was one, Logan wouldn't have said anything unless he was at least 90% sure. His chest had felt so light and as his eyes had begun to water, Roman had realised he was in love.

He was in love with his dork of a best friend—with the boy who would insist on studying for a test months in advance; who would drag them up to the roof on clear nights to point out constellations; who would let Roman ramble on and on about things he didn’t care about because he knew it was important to him.

He was completely in love and it was amazing.

And as he’d wiped the tears out of his eyes, watching Logan’s brow furrow in confusion—and how hadn’t he noticed before just how cute that expression was—Roman had wondered if maybe this could work after all.

Roman let his body drop under the tree where they usually had lunch during the summer, waiting for the others to arrive. It was always much quieter out here than it was in the cafeteria, people generally not brave enough to face the hot Floridian sun. The three of them had found a spot of shade under this rather large pine tree at some point last year though and it had since become their spot of choice for lunches. Logan would usually complain the most about the heat, but he would always trade in the cold air for a more peaceful environment.

It was cooler today. Cool enough that Patton had elected to wear his fuzzy baby blue jumper, though he still paired it with a short pastel skirt, so it should be enough to prevent overheating. Patton had several outfits kept at Roman’s house and vice versa, just in case of impromptu sleepovers, but that was definitely one of Roman’s favourite’s.

Another item on the long list of things Roman loved about his boyfriend was his confidence. Sure, Roman had confidence—he had confidence on the stage and he had confidence when faced with conflict—but Patton had confidence in his identity. Patton didn’t let insecurities get the best of him, he was who he was no matter what anyone else thought of him and that was something Roman strived for. Seeing Patton so happy in his “less conventional” outfits made Roman incredibly proud to know him.

Plus Patton looked really cute in a skirt.

Speaking of Patton, said boy had just slipped out of the doors of the school and taken up residence next to him. Roman felt the fabric of Patton’s sweater tickle his arm as his boyfriend linked their hands together, the warmth of Patton's body pressing up against his side. Roman sighed. He was so lucky.

“How did it go with the boy from the hallway?” he asked, trying his best to pretend the question was more casual than it was.

Patton nodded absentmindedly. “Okay, I think! He definitely has some stuff he needs to work through on his own, but I think he’ll make the right decision.”

Roman didn’t ask exactly what had made the boy upset in the first place and Patton didn’t tell him. They’d agreed early on that just because people felt comfortable enough to tell Patton their problems, didn’t mean they necessarily wanted anyone else to know. Roman wouldn’t tell anyone of course, but that wasn’t the point. It was about trust.

Patton was just instinctually trustworthy. When you tell Patton your secret you don’t worry about it being spread around the school, you know that your secret is safe—another thing Roman loved about him.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, just soaking up each others company.

Roman took a deep breath before addressing his boyfriend. “Patton?”

Patton hummed in response. Roman felt like he owed it to his boyfriend to mention his feelings, even if it ended up being nothing. Patton had been so straight-forward about developing feelings for someone else, bringing it up the very same day he realised things had changed, so it was only fair Roman paid him the same courtesy.

“You know how we talked about polyamory?”

Instantly, Patton's face brightened. He nodded vigorously, his hair flopping slightly as he did so.

Roman didn't think before he started to speak. If he started thinking then he'd start second-guessing himself and he couldn't afford to do that here. "Right, so we have Logan, and Logan's is great! Excellent, even! I'm not going back on the decision to ask him out at all, but- uh, there might be som-"

Patton's eyes cut over to over his shoulder.

"Logan!"

Patton yelled across the grounds to Logan, who looked like he was in the process of entering the cafeteria.

Roman frowned as Patton insistently waved him over. Logan knew where they ate lunch, they'd been sitting there for months. Logan also didn't eat cafeteria food, instead packing his own lunch, citing that the food the cafeteria made was unhealthy at best and a health hazard at worst. There was absolutely no reason for him to be going in there.

Roman knew he was probably jumping to conclusions—cognitive distortions, Logan taught him that one—but he couldn't help but feel like something was wrong. He didn't have much to base it off of other than a gut feeling though, so he kept it to himself.

Patton gave Roman an apologetic look. "Sorry, Ro. You can tell me about it later, yeah?"

Roman nodded his head. There really wasn't any rush, and anyway, it gave him a little more time to sort out his feelings for the boy in the hallway. Actually...

"Patton, my dear, did the boy from earlier give you a name or anything?"

A confused expression crossed Patton's face, but he answered nonetheless. "He told me I could call him Anxiety; I didn't push him on his actual name. Why, Ro?"

"No real reason, just wondering," Roman lied.

Patton didn't look like he entirely believed him, but before he could question Roman further his attention seemed to be caught by something else.

Logan had arrived at some point during Roman and Patton's brief conversation and Roman watched as Patton's gaze passed over the bandage on Logan's wrist. Roman realised belatedly that he hadn't warned Logan about showing off his injury around Patton. Whoops.

"Logan McKenzie, what in the world happened to your hand?"

Patton sounded angry and incredibly concerned all at the same time. It caused Logan to open his mouth slightly in shock, eyes flicking from where he was searching through his bag over to Patton. He seemed like he was about to answer, but Patton quickly let go of Roman's hand, stood up and crossed the distance between them, taking hold of Logan's wrist firmly.

Really, nothing about Patton's demeanour left room for argument, but Logan liked pushing the limits of Patton's patience. Logan tried to tug his wrist away but Patton held tight, levelling him with a glare. It was a very unnatural look on the usually happy, bubbly Patton and Logan looked just as taken aback as Roman was.

“Patton, it’s just a strain,” Logan said, voice uneasy, “This is hugely unnecessary.”

Patton gave him another look. "Nope, that’s not good enough. Now, you are going to let me check how bad it is and you're not going to complain about it, alright?"

Logan's eyes widened and he began babbling with an uncharacteristic amount of emotion, unsuccessfully trying to persuade Patton to do literally anything but this.

Roman wasn't really sure what the big deal was. At the most Logan was going to get away with a lecture about practising self-care, but Logan was reacting like it was much more than that. He looked... frightened. And it was horrifying. Logan obviously wasn't one for overtly displaying emotions, so if he was afraid, there must seriously be something wrong. Something worse than a strain.

Patton had begun unwrapping Logan's bandage, ignoring the cries of protest, but all of a sudden, he stopped. Roman heard a gasp escape Patton's lips as his whole body froze.

"Logan..." The word was hesitant but unwavering—it reminded Roman of the kind of tone you might use when attempting to approach a skittish animal.

At the noise, Roman began to stand. Just how bad was this injury? What had Logan managed to do to himself? Before he could catch a glimpse of Logan's wrist though, Logan pulled out of Patton's grip, holding his hand protectively against his chest.

He gave one last look to the two of them, Patton smiling—smiling?—and Roman just confused, before dashing away, ducking inside the school building and running out of sight.

What the fuck just happened?

Roman, realising that Patton likely had much more of a clue of what was going on, decided to repeat this question aloud.

"What the fuck just happened?"

In response, Patton began to laugh.

It started off quiet, more a hysterical giggle than anything else, but in just a moment it became loud and full of absolute joy. Patton was actually doubled over, absolutely beaming, and as his laughter petered out he grabbed the back of Roman's head and pulled him into a kiss. Roman was surprised but reciprocated all the same—he was always willing to indulge his boyfriend.

The kiss was over just as quick as it began and Roman took a moment to get his bearings. In the midst of attempting to process everything that was going on, he almost missed Patton going to speak.

"Roman," Patton said, voice full of awe, "He has our soulmark."

And suddenly Roman was smiling too.

He could feel it spreading across his face, growing wider and wider and brighter and brighter with each passing second. He realised why Patton had laughed the way he did—the joy he felt rising up inside him was impossible to contain.

Logan was their soulmate. Logan was their soulmate!

Patton squeaked slightly as Roman swept him into his arms, spinning him in circles, hearing his boyfriend’s laughter echoing in his ears.

They never had to worry about Logan leaving now; he really would always be there. They didn’t have to worry that he wouldn’t feel as loved or included in their relationship—didn’t have to worry, didn’t have to worry, didn’t have to worry. It was all going to be okay because Roman was loved and so, so happy.

Breathless, Roman put Patton back down on solid ground.

“God, we’re going to have to talk to him,” Roman panted out.

Patton’s smile dimmed a little bit at that, his face taking on a more contemplative look. “Yeah. We’re gonna have to be careful, Ro. You know how he is about things like this.”

Roman nodded. He did know, in fact. Roman had kind of hoped that developing a soulmark would change the way that Logan viewed them, but maybe that was foolish. His fear seemed to be as present as always, though it was usually hidden a little bit more behind science and snarky remarks.

He wasn’t sure if Patton had picked up on exactly how Logan felt about the concept of soulmates, but Roman had enough of his own insecurities to recognise others’ when he saw them.

When they argued about soulmarks, which was far more frequently than Roman would have wished, Logan hid behind a mask of indifference. He claimed that he was right, objectively, backing up his argument with “facts” to make his statements sound more important. But occasionally, Roman would say something that would leave Logan speechless. Roman would watch as he inhaled sharply, his mouth dropping open and his eyes widening, and the look he displayed would always be fear. It never lasted for more than a split-second, but Roman saw it every time.

Roman didn’t know why Logan was afraid of soulmarks—and he would continue to not know why until Logan trusted him enough to tell him—but he was going to do his best to help him get past it no matter what. He wasn’t going to lose his soulmate to some unfounded worry; that wasn’t fair on them, or on Logan for that matter.

“We need to find him, Patton,” Roman said, “But we don’t even know where he is! He could be anywhere in the school by now. He could have left!”

Roman severely doubted Logan would skip school, but at this point, he wouldn’t put anything past him. The lengths Logan would go to to avoid them talking about his soulmark was not to be doubted; if they didn’t find him now, it’s very possible that they’d never find him again.

Patton looked thoughtful for a moment before giving Roman a soft smile. It was filled with a quiet sort of determination and Roman was reminded for a moment just how in love with him he was.

“I think I know where he is.”

And before Roman could question how or where Patton was grabbing his hand and tugging him into the school building.

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Chapter 5

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