#what is believed and what is agreed upon will always be shifting as different people say their peace and as the show itself progresses

[chirpsythismorning]

bylers when over 350k people don’t have the exact same thoughts and opinions as them

[xveenusx]

Indifference

Paring(s): Rafe Cameron x fem!reader

Summary: Two people who are in love, well he used to be

Authors note: you guys like when I make you cry

Rating: angsty

Warnings: it'll hurt :)

__________________

He was late.

Time was a funny thing. Minutes turned to hours which rolled into days then suddenly months began to blur into years. In that time, people tend to go out and experience things, falling in and out of love, enjoying everything life had to offer.

Yet, I somehow found myself motionless, the spark that once ignited my core had been stifled to a small ember. Life continued to pass by while I remained glued in one place, watching as everyone around me attempted to achieve some form of happiness.

I was once like that. Filled with some much hope for a life with someone I loved, who showed up to support me and believed in my capability, because at one time in my life that was exactly what Rafe was.

Like I said, time was a funny thing. The more time passes with your partner, the more comfortable they seem to get. They stop trying. However, at what point does being comfortable become almost negligent?

Dates were canceled, appointments missed, and important accomplishments forgotten the more time went on. Rafe’s priorities shifted and I went from being the center of his world to being a planet merely circling his gravitational pull.

In his mind, we were forever, so a couple of cancellations here and there and bouts of forgetfulness were nothing in the span of things. I would have agreed had the cancellations not doubled with time or our conversations going from intimate and deep to surface level at best.

He was never home. It was always just me in this large house on figure 8.  Suddenly, he went from being the moon and the stars to just a bleak, unforgivable starless night. Cold and dark.

We had met when we were 16 and he was every bit a spoiled little rich boy that had extreme daddy issues, but there was more to him than that. I picked at his defenses until finally they shattered, and I was engulfed by all of him.

He was just different around me and that fact alone left me delighted. It made me feel special, almost stupidly so.

Things between Rafe and his father were already tense enough since Rafe bought a motorbike with the money he was supposed to spend on the generator. Then everything began to snowball out of control from there. He threw himself into his father’s work and when he wasn’t doing that, he was with Kells and Topper doing god knows what and snorting anything he could find.

Despite all of this, Rafe always kept me close and always let me in. 

Last year, when Ward had gone with Sarah and John B to South America, and didn’t return, something shifted inside him. His defenses were rebuilt, only this time he left me on the outside, and no matter how hard I tried to break him down brick by brick, nothing worked. He became obsessed with running Ward’s real estate empire better than he ever did.

Rafe was a cold and calculated legacy with a large chip on his shoulder that made him lethal against competing firms. He chewed them up and spit them out.

With every major milestone, it was never enough for him, and like a man possessed he continued to ruthlessly target anyone that had done him wrong. We had everything and yet the bitterness seemed to consume him. He was someone I saw once a day if I was lucky. He always left before I woke up and was never home by the time I went to bed and suddenly we were glorified roommates.

Once upon a time, I would stay up waiting for him with my heart in my hand, hoping to connect in any way. Even if I only had a few minutes to spend with him before he went to sleep, it was enough for me. But, 10 pm became 11 pm which turned into 12 am and so I gave up. My sleep schedule was already a mess as thoughts and insecurities pestered my mind of another woman.

“Any word from him yet? Some of the donors are asking for him?” The question pulls me out of my thoughts and I turn to face my assistant, Rai.

Her question is innocent enough, but I can hear the slight concern in her voice and I know she has her doubts which only serves as another humiliating reminder that Rafe has done this to me repeatedly.

But this was different. He knew how important this charity dinner was to the shelter I opened up for women and children who suffered from domestic violence.

As someone who came from the cut, it was everywhere and so many didn’t have the means to flee and so they were forced to stay and in the most severe instances, die.

Rafe gave me the start-up money as a gift and it was a huge success that I opened several more as well as fund for scholarships for both the mothers and kids. Which is what brings me to now, a charity dinner and auction to help fund said scholarships and pay for all the shelter necessities.

He promised he would be here. It’s important for the donors to see him here seeing as though he donated a huge sum once more and could ease the minds of those who are teetering on the edge. It’s also important to me. This project is mine, something I created and shared with the world and I want to share it with him too.

I want him to celebrate this accomplishment with me and he is nowhere to be found.

“He’ll be here. Rafe promised.” I clear my throat, “He knows how important this is to me.”

Rai gave me a doubtful look and I know that I couldn’t convince her anymore than I could convince myself. The engagement ring that bore my finger instantly weighed a ton.

Glancing down at the large diamond that once meant the promise of everything, stared back at me as nothing more than a simple accessory.

Rafe had proposed and foolishly I believed that it would save us so I said yes.

I stayed and time and time again, the disappointment slowly began to etch away at the childish hope I tried to cling onto until only a dull ache remained.

“Don’t you look lovely?” Plastering a fake smile onto my face, I let out a sheepish laugh as I take in Kiara’s parents. 

“Thank you guys so much for coming.” The words ring true but I couldn’t help but feel like I was underwater. My focus is shot and I find myself hardly listening with my eyes darting to the front door every minute or so, desperate to see the man I used to think would never stop loving me. 

I float around the room, committed to being a gracious host, because I would not let him take this from me too. Not when he’s taken everything else already. This is the only piece left of me. 

My cheeks hurt two hours later from all the fake smiles and my throat burns from the feigned laughing. The sound of my own voice makes me wince. 

In those two hours, I felt my confidence slowly get chipped piece by piece as everyone questioned where my fiancé was. And for a moment, I hated him. I truly hated him because even this small piece of heaven I made for myself is tied into him. 

Honey, I need to run some numbers with Rafe. Where is he hiding? 

Where is the biggest investor? Surely, he’s here, right?

I haven't seen Mr. Cameron. Has he stepped out? 

With which I responded,” Work emergency, you know how it is. He’s nothing if not committed.” Considering most of these possible donors run their own large companies, they completely understand but it’s their partners reactions that seem to leave me stunned. 

Each had a warm look of understanding dancing in their eyes as I’m sure they’ve used the same excuse time and time again.

I can only take so much. So I excuse myself and glance at the small gold heart shaped watch on my delicate wrist and take note of the time.

There was only 30 minutes left and I haven't gotten so much as a text from him. 

A pit began to form where my stomach used to be as I realized once more that he wasn’t coming. As I stood in a packed room, filled with a flurry of activity, surrounded by people, I’ve never felt more alone.

Then my eyes connect with Mrs. Dune, the wife of a finance guru that works alongside Rafe. She was much older than I, having been with her husband for 30 years but she looked even older. 

It’s almost as though she can read my thoughts, because she sends me a sad smile as she lets her eyes go to where her husband stands talking to other donors. I haven't seen him talk to her the whole night, instead she’s been standing at his side saying nothing. 

I take an uneven breath and my eyes widen in realization. Was this what I had to look forward to? A life sentence of loneliness vacant of any warmth and attention? 

Swallowing hard, I force my eyes away and stare at the door. Begging whoever will listen to please, this once, let me be wrong. I’m so in my thoughts that I’m startled when a soft hand lands on my arm.

“You get used to it. Eventually, you’ll feel nothing.” Mrs. Dune says quietly, her eyes moving back to her husband, with a look I can only describe as longing. 

That’s the thing. I don't want to get used to it. This isn’t how I want to be loved.

“What you’ve accomplished is amazing. Don’t let him take that away from you.” Was her parting words and she left, not sparing her husband another glance. 

When I turn to see if he noticed she left, he’s still engaged in conversations and doesn’t spare her a glance. 

This is not how I want to be loved. 

“Hey, I’ve been looking for you. This is Amy Park.” Rai looks ecstatic as she introduces me to the stunning tall woman next to her. 

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Ms. Park.” The words come out on instinct.

“I wanted to discuss how open you would be to expanding shelters nationwide?”

And for the first time in awhile, a real smile graces my face as I answer her question. 

_____________________

The first thing I notice when I pull into our driveway is the plethora of cars that fill it. The second thing I pick up on is familiar vibrations of music with each step I take along our pathway. 

My front door is wide open as people come in and out, clearly under the influence of something and my chest constricts. 

This is what he’s been doing? This was more important than me? 

Clutching my keys tightly, I welcome the familiar biting against my skin. I recognize many of the faces, most of them having gone to school with Rafe. 

If it was any other night, I would have joined them. We were only 22 and yet have lived what seems to be a hundred lives. But, this is different. He’s different. 

Climbing up the staircase, I head to the balcony where I hear a familiar boast of laughter. 

I cleared my throat. “What’s so funny?”

Heads snap in my direction but my eyes are only on one. One that currently has a short black haired girl nearly in his lap. I recognize her as a bartender at one of the local grills/bars we frequent. 

“Don’t you look gorgeous-“ Topper attempts to run interference, but it’s too late. I raise my hand to silence him. I’ve already seen everything I needed too. 

His body is positioned slightly in front of them as if I was going to body slam them. I might actually. 

“Hey, wait! How did the donor dinner go?” Topper's eyes dart to Rafe’s. “That was tonight right?”

I see the moment everything clicks. His eyes rake down from my newly styled hair to the louboutins in my feet. Everything I wore from the jewelry on my body to the shoes on my feet he bought me, and I’ve never felt more sick.

Rafe clenches his eyes shut as he shakes his head. “Fuck.”

Fuck, indeed.

“Get out of my way, Topper.”

He throws a worried glance to Rafe. “I think maybe-“

“Top, give us a second.” Rafe mutters tensely. He keeps his hard set gaze on me, drilling into me, almost as though he’s daring me to move. 

Kelce stands up giving me an apologetic look. “Rafe, man, there’s a bunch of people here.”

I force myself to look away. 

“Not right now, Kells.” 

He wasn’t wrong. This house was full of people, but the only difference being that none of them matter. Not to me and not to Rafe. 

Steady. Keep steady and just breathe. 

“So what should I do-“

I look at him. Me or them? It was unsaid but he knew what I was asking him. 

“Back the fuck off and give me a fucking second with my girl.” Rafe barks out, running a rough hand through the short cropped strands that brush against his forehead. 

Both hold their hands up in mock surrender before shuffling off to the side. The girl doesn’t get up. 

Topper coughs. “Sophia.” 

Her eyes take me in with clear distaste. Her hand is still dangerously close to Rafe’s waistband. I raise a single eyebrow giving her one last opportunity to move. 

She doesn’t. Not when Kelce calls out for her either.

Sophia made her bed. Setting my bag down, I take three big steps before I’m roughly shoving her off the couch sending her sprawling on the floor. 

Rafe let’s out a curse but makes no move to help her. At least he’s not stupid.

“Get out.” The words leave no room for negotiation.

The glare she sends me is filled with ice. “I was invited.”

Kelce lets out a groan before whispering,”Is she serious?”

The fake smile I’ve perfected over the years decorated my face as I bent down to her height on the floor. 

Flashing my engagement ring in her face. “Get out of my fucking house.”

That seems to shut her up and I watch with narrowed eyes as she struts away, Topper and Kelce in tow.

I can hear my heart pounding in my ears while my chest feels like it’s going to explode. I turn around slowly to face my damnation. 

My heels click against the marble floor and with each step I take, the more the ache in my chest grows. Marching up to Rafe, I grab his chin and force him to look at me. Those familiar glacial blue eyes are red. His pupils are blown wide and my chest cracks wide open. 

He’s high. 

This is not how I want to be loved. 

This is what he wanted to do instead of being there for me. Instead of supporting me. Instead of loving me. 

Dying would be less painful.

 I stare directly into those eyes, searching for an answer, wondering when the love he felt for me slowly became indifference.

I’d almost rather there be a mistress rather than this cold indifference.

“Did you have fun at least?” My words are soft but the intention is anything but. 

He says nothing. Instead Rafe studies me like I’m a wounded animal. 

Dark. Beautiful. Cruel. 

Those are the words I’d use to describe the man in front of me. The gaze that once felt like a soft caress on my skin now felt clinical. 

“It seems like you’re having fun.” I quip, flicking the small bag filled with familiar white powder. 

I thought I could fix him. I will not make that mistake again.

“I completely forgot-“

“How?” I ask. 

His eyes narrow like he’s trying to figure me out. “Work got insanely busy. You know how it is. Even if I own the place, I’m young and the older guys don’t respect me.”

“It was in your work calendar.” 

“No, it wasn’t-“

“It was also on your personal calendar and our joint one. I had your assistant send you a reminder email. So my question is how?” My voice wobbled and it was only by a small miracle that I didn’t throw something in his face. “How did you forget the only thing I’ve asked you for?” 

Something flickered in his eyes. “It wasn’t intentional. It slipped my mind.”

“Something I worked so hard to accomplish just slipped your mind?” Exhaustion has finally got the better of me and I finally let him see just how much he’s managed to chip away. 

“I should have been there for you and I’m so sorry,” His throat flexed a hard swallow. “But there will be other dinners.” 

The dull ache in my chest thrummed harder. Rafe was brushing this off, just like he always did. My skin flushed. 

At my silence, he braces his elbows on his knees and leans forward, tracking my every move. “I feel like you’re not understanding me.”

“No, I understand you just fine. It just wasn’t important enough for you.”

He stilled. “That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

Of course it wasn’t what he meant but he’s managed to make me feel so insignificant. So small. 

“I know that you’ve canceled most of our dates for work. Even an anniversary once. I know that you missed the grand opening of the shelter that I spent a year and half planning.” I force the words out, each breath I take feeling like needles. “I asked for this one thing, Rafe and you couldn’t even give me that.” 

“What about everything I have given you? This house, the car you drive in, the clothes on your back, the boat?”

It’s like I’m staring at 16 year old Rafe again. To him, material things were the equivalent to love. He couldn’t be farther from the truth.

I find that I was much happier when I had little to nothing, than I am now, sitting here with everything, in my gown and jewels. 

“I didn't ask for any of those things.” By the stubborn gleam in his eyes, I knew he was going to fight me on everything. 

Lately, his tactic was always combative and it was easier to give in or to not say anything at all. 

 “No, but you took them all the same. I fucked up, I get that. I know what this shelter means to you, but that doesn’t change the fact that you wouldn’t even have it if it weren’t for me.”

A familiar buzzing filled my ears. His words were ugly but they weren’t a lie. Even my project was his. I had nothing of my own.

I wonder how many other people came to the same revelation. Maybe that’s why so many of them asked where he was? Because this accomplishment wasn’t mine, no clearly it was his.

There is not enough room in my chest for the ache he caused. 

Words can’t seem to make it to my lips. I think my brain has finally broken and realizes that no words I say will get him to change. 

Smoothing out my dress, I stand on shaky legs before kicking off my heels. He can keep them. With that, I leave him out on the porch and make a beeline towards our his room. 

Opening the closet doors, I reach for the suitcase before setting it on the bed. I wasn’t going to be like Mrs. Dune and waste away beside a man that used to love me, hoping that one day he will once more. 

“What the fuck are you doing?” The words are hard and low. 

Rafe stands at the door, his arms crossed over his chest. His face is brewing with several emotions I can't quite place. 

It was funny. I haven't seen this much emotion from him in months.

I ignore him and toss some clothes from my dresser into the open suitcase, making sure to grab only the clothes I needed.

I slowly take off each piece of jewelry and set it on my vanity. He can keep everything he so gloriously mentioned he bought. 

“You loved me once.” I state, tilting my head to the side. I rake over every detail of his face, knowing I’ll never forget it. 

I loved him once too. 

His face morphed to one of confusion before disbelief. “I still love you. That’s never changed.” 

I shake my head. “Yes, it has.”

Rafe stalks towards me, his hand reaching to burl around my neck while the other pulls me to him by my waist. Familiar cologne fills my lungs and I count to ten mentally. It was the same cologne I bought him when we first started dating. 

“I work too much, I know. That’s my fault and I’ll cut back. I’ll be home more and we can spend time together. I’ll do better.” Taking my chin between two fingers, he forces my eyes to his. I see the sincerity in his eyes but I know how this goes. 

The same way it’s gone the last two times. He’ll beg me to stay, promise to change, and things will be good for a month before he slowly starts missing dates or canceling trips we’ve planned months before. Then the cycle repeats. 

“No.” It was time to love myself. Since he clearly couldn’t do it. I will not allow myself to get lost in him again. 

“Baby, just wait. Will you wait-“ He huffs as I try to move around him. No such success as his towering body has me moving back and suddenly I’m caged in by his arms. “Just give me a second, okay?”

“I’ve given you years. I won’t give you another second.” 

“Talk to me.” His voice breaks. “Please just talk to me.”

Longing filled my body. Words I’ve been waiting to hear for months come so easily to him, but only when I already have one foot out the door.

 “I’m alone.” The words come out strangled. “ I’m alone in this. I have been for a long time.”

“What do you mean? Baby, I’m right here.” Rafe’s gripping onto me tighter, almost like he’s ensuring I don’t leave. “I’m right here.”

“You're never here. That’s exactly my point.” 

Rafe’s eyes widen before he shakes his head wildly, staring at me like I’m speaking another language. “That’s not true-“

“What’s today?”

“What?” 

“What’s today?” I repeat, my eyes never leaving his. I want to see every emotion that storms in his eyes, just to remind myself that he is capable of emotion after all. 

“Friday.” 

I smile at him sadly. Exactly my point. “I haven't seen you since Tuesday.” 

“No, that can’t be right. I was with you when we had lunch with-“ He breaks off, reaching for his phone in his pocket. I watch as he pulls up his calendar, an action that mortifies me, and confirms our scheduled date.

 “Tuesday.” He whispers, shocked even. 

I wasn’t. Rafe had to check his calendar to confirm that last time he’s seen his fiancé. 

“You used to come bring me lunch. If you were more than a couple hours, you always found your way to me or gave me a call that you’ll be late.” I shrugged, blinking back the tears stinging my eyes. “Now, I don’t think I’d get a call if you were in the hospital.”

The buzzing in my ears intensifies.

 “You didn’t tell me any of this. None of how you were feeling and you're ready to walk out the door without so much as an argument.” A spark of my old Rafe appears as frustration dances across his face.

“I should have-“

“You’re giving up.” He states, shaking his head in anger. 

Maybe I was. “I’m tired of fighting for us. You gave up a long time ago.” 

Large hands curl around my cheeks, pulling me towards his face. Rafe rests his forehead on mine, his piercing blue eyes darting across my face in panic. 

“I love you. I love you.” He knows he’s grasping at straws, but we feel like strangers now. The words don’t feel like they used to. “You know I love you.”

 “This isn’t how I want to be loved, Rafe. I see you every couple days, the only time we’re ever together is when we have sex.” We lost sight of how we once were. The only thing that remained good between us was sex. 

That alone isn’t healthy. He goes to open his mouth but I cut him off.

“We never talk and when we do, you don’t even listen to me. Your brain is always somewhere else.” 

“I’m in a relationship with a ghost. I’m not letting you suck the life out of me anymore.” My eyes catch the sparkling ring that once brought me such happiness. Now, it simply feels like a ball and chain. 

Before I can convince myself otherwise, I start to tug it off my finger when Rafe truly begins to panic. 

“Don’t do that. Please don’t do that.” I try to hand it to him but Rafe jolts back like he’s been burned. The look he gives my empty hand is nothing short of destroyed.

I think I’m going to throw up. His words are laced with raw grief that makes it hard for me to breathe.

“Put it back on.” I hear the slight tremble in his voice.

“No.” My lips wobble. 

“Please put it back on because if you don’t that means we’re over. That’s not us. We aren’t supposed to end.”

“Rafe, don’t make this any harder than it already is.”

“You’re ripping my fucking heart out of my chest. This isn’t anywhere near hard, it’s excruciating.” Rafe’s hand is notably shaking, but he tries to hide it by clenching and unclenching his palms. 

“Welcome to the last year of my life.” The words are brutal but he needs to hear them. 

“You promised me we’d never end.” 

“You promised to change. I guess we both lied.”

Rafe raises his voice, his arms thrown up in the air in clear distress, “How can you just stand there?”

It was a miracle I haven’t collapsed on my shaky legs yet. The adrenaline pumping though my veins was the only thing getting me through this torture. “Rafe, stop it.”

“You talk about indifference?” Rafe lets out a humorless laugh, shaking his head up at the ceiling. “Who’s heartless now, baby?”

“You don’t get to put this on me. I’ve given you years of my life, showered you with nothing but love and support. I asked for one night, one fucking night, in your busy schedule and you didn’t bother to show up, or send a simple text.” I intake a sharp breath, pushing the hair out of my face with a shaky hand. “Instead, you threw a party in our home and got high.”

I point a finger at his chest, staring at him with open heartbreak. “I needed you,” The tightness in my chest finally pops as I choke on a loud sob, “I needed you and you weren’t there.”

“I lost sight of what’s important to me. I’m just trying to give you everything-” I cut him off. 

Grabbing the clothes I haphazardly tossed in the suitcase, ”You want this? Take it,” I shove them into his chest, “Take all of it. I don’t want it. I’d give this all away in a heartbeat if it meant I could have you back.”

I meant every word. I wanted my best friend back, the person I confided in and depended on. I wanted our late nights back watching trashy reality TV. We used to sit in the bathtub together basking in each other's company. Went on walks along the beach or took the boat out for hours, fucking on the deck, not caring that anyone could see. 

It used to be simple. He loved me and I loved him. 

“I’m angry, baby.I’m so damn angry all the time. At my fucking dad for always having these impossible expections. Then he goes and dies, leaving me without a clue on how to manage everything.” Rafe sags against the wall, exhaustion marring his features, his blue eyes pleading for me to understand. “I feel like I’m drowning all the time.”

I had no idea this was how he was feeling. But, he never let me in. “You could have told me, we’re supposed to be partners in this. You asked me to marry you!”

I think deep down I know that he felt me slipping through his fingers at one point. He could see clearly how unhappy I’ve become and that’s why he proposed. And maybe just like him, I thought the proposal could fix us. This proposal was being manipulated on both ends, it was doomed from the start.

You can’t fix what’s already broken. 

“My head has basically been a war zone and I’m losing. The only thing keeping me sane is that I know, when I walk through that door,” he points to our bedroom door, “I’m going to find you in our bed. Every. Single. Night.” 

“I can’t let the ugly touch you.” My heart splits into two at his words. Words I know feel like acid leaving his mouth. “You’re the only thing I have left.”

“Then you should have taken better care of me. You should have let me take care of you.” 

“Fuck,” He screams, bending down and swiping the lamp clean of the nightstand. The lamp goes flying into the wall, shattering into hundreds of pieces and my eyes are drawn to them. I can’t help but think it reminds me of us.

Dragging my eyes back to his, I fight the urge to wrap him in my arms. Seeing him in pain has never brought me joy, but this was brutal. His eyes shined with unmistakable tears, realizing the strength of my resolve. 

There was no going back this time. There was no trying again. I didn’t have another try in me. 

I grip onto the fabric of my dress moving towards him, my heart pounding out of my chest. He moves instantly, holding out his hand to guide me over the shattered lamp. Why couldn’t he be like this months ago?

Why did he let it get this bad? Why couldn’t he love me?

Now, standing in front of him, I let myself one deep breath, basking in the comforting smell of him. A large hand curls around my neck, his grip strong and firm, demanding my attention. His blue eyes are daunting and so intense, I find myself fighting the urge to look away.

“I’m going to get you back.”

”Take it, Rafe.” I whisper, uncurling his limp hand, “Take it. It doesn’t mean what I want it to.”

Tears blur my vision as I fumble with the ring he refuses to take.

 Rafe shakes his head, clenching his jaw tightly. “There’s no point in taking it off if it’s gonna go right back there in a couple weeks. ”

I can’t help but smile at the determination in his voice. He sounds like the old Rafe and for a second I see a glimmer of who he used to be.

 He had me. Then he lost me. 

This is not how I want to be loved. 

“If spending the next few months without you means that I get to spend a lifetime with you, I can manage. I’ll do whatever I have to.  But don’t think for a second that there is anyone else on this entire fucking planet meant for you.”

That’s how I want to be loved. Too little too late.

I drop the ring.

[loveronlineee]

The Metal Head and the Material Girl Part 2 (Eddie Munson x Reader)

Masterlist   All Parts

Eddie Munson x Reader (She/Her)

Warnings: swearing

Synopsis: As Y/N settles into her new school and her new group of friends, the boys prepare for her first D&D session

ITS HERE ITS FINALLY HERE YALL CAN STOP REQUESTING NOWWWWW.

Okay I’m really fuckin scared to post this one because I can feel the expectations for it to be as loved as part one but I tried my best!! Thanks again D&D peeps for helping me out. I cleared out my DMs cuz they were getting messy but y’all know who you are!

Also uh, this.

Okay okay I’ll shut up now. Go read.

- Willow x

Wanna be on the Eddie Munson tag list? Look here!

Wanna request something? Look here!

Two weeks in, Y/N had fully settled into Hawkins high. She had established herself as part of the outcasts and the window of opportunity for her to be one of the popular kids had officially closed.

The jocks and the cheerleaders tried multiple times to get her away from the Hellfire club, but every glare and mean comment they threw at her friends cemented in Y/N’s mind that they were not people she wanted to be around.

Eddie and Y/N seemed to be inseparable. Eddie would pick her up and drop her home despite the location of Y/N’s house being in the opposite direction of the school. They’d walk to classes together, sit together at lunch… it was uncommon to see one without the other.

The weird looks from most were slowly turning from a look of surprise to a look of oh, them again.

Eddie noticed it more than Y/N. Of course he did. He was used to being looked down upon, he knew all the signs. But he could feel the slight shift too. Y/N was like a buffer for all the hate.

People seemed to have backed off a little since Y/N joined their ranks. Seeing a pretty girl with Eddie made him seem less threatening, less of an outcast. Others didn’t know what to do when Eddie did something weird and Y/N would just laugh, like it was completely normal.

She was disrupting the social hierarchy without even knowing it.

The metalhead spotted Y/N walking into the lunch hall from his table. She waved enthusiastically at him before pointing to the queue for the school lunch. Eddie waved back and gave a thumbs up.

“So when are you gonna ask her out?” Eddie whipped his head around at Dustin’s unexpected question.

“What?” Mike rolled his eyes.

“Dude. You two are pretty much already a couple. She links her arm with yours when you’re walking, she plays with your hands, she laughs at everything you say even when it’s not funny.” The younger one complained.

Eddie wasn’t blind to these things. He felt himself going giddy every time Y/N touched him or beamed at him. But a part of him wouldn’t believe that a girl like her would actually be interested in him.

He shrugged it off.

“She’s just friendly. Y/N’s like that with everyone.”

“She doesn’t act like that to us.” Dustin argued. He looked around the table to see the other boys agreeing. Y/N was always nice to them and enjoyed being their friends but they could all see the difference between that, and how she acted with their dungeon master. “Listen Eddie, I love Y/N. She’s great. She’s like the older sister I never had. I love Y/N. But I don’t love Y/N.”

He raised his eyebrows up, seeing if Eddie understood. He did, pulling a face. He didn’t like his use of that word.

Love.

Eddie thought he didn’t believe in love up until very recently. But Y/N decided to come into his life and completely destroy that ideology.

He hated that Dustin used that word because it was the only word that accurately described what he was feeling. And it made him feel stupid.

Two weeks. This girl had been in his life for two weeks and he was head over heels for her.

But how could he not? She was beautiful and bubbly. She actually listened to him when he rambled on about his interests. She didn’t look down on him for repeating senior year. She genuinely enjoyed spending time with him. And every once in a while, Eddie would let himself believe that she loved him back. Just a little.

Before the boys could say anymore, Y/N dropped her tray on the table. She took her usual seat next to Dustin and Eddie.

“Hey guys. What’d I miss?” She looked around with a smile as she tucked her chair in. Eddie reflexively put his hand out in front her. Y/N liked to see what rings he decided to wear every day. She slid her own hand underneath his and began straightening out the jewellery.

“Uh we were just… taking about your first D&D session coming up!” Dustin saved. He gave Eddie a nod which the dungeon master returned.

“Oh right! Have we decided on a date yet?” Y/N looked up. Eddie huffed a little in annoyance, pulling his hand away from Y/N to fold his arms. This had been a problem for him since Y/N joined Hellfire.

“We can’t decide on a date until we decide what we’re actually doing for it!” He slammed his hands on the table, looking around at everyone “We can’t just do any D&D session! This is Y/N’s first. We gotta do it right.” He stated, tapping his pointer finger on the lunchroom table.

“I’m sure it’s gonna be amazing no matter what Eddie. I sat in on last week’s session and that was so fun already!” Y/N reassured. Eddie made a frustrated whine, leaning back.

“Yeah but it’s gotta be something special!” He stood up on the chair. “We are in the presence of a PRINCESS PEOPLE!” He shouted, before jumping back down. Y/N laughed.

“Hey don’t some people dress up like their characters?” She asked. The boys looked at each other, liking the idea.

“We haven’t done that before.” Dustin commented. “Right Eddie?”

“Yeah. Yeah I like that.” A smile slowly creeping on his face.

So it was decided. On Friday, Hellfire were gonna take their immersive fantasy experience a step further.

———————————————————————

The boys ran down to their club room the second the bell rang. Setting everything up and taking putting on their costumes. Eddie sat in his throne and looked through his notes as the others scrambled around.

Dustin noticed the dungeon master’s leg bouncing up and down. He chewed the end of his pencil, eyebrows furrowed as he read what he had written.

“Eddie, you okay?” Dustin called out. Eddie didn’t look up.

“Yeah yeah I’m fine Henderson just keep doing what you’re doing.” Dustin could tell he was nervous. But it wasn’t like he could ask for anyone’s help, everyone else was a player. It would ruin the game if they knew what was gonna happen ahead of time.

There was a knock at the door.

“Hey guys? Am I allowed to come in now?” It was Y/N.

“We’re not ready!” The chorus of boys replied. Y/N giggled.

“Okay let me know when I can come in.” Eddie ripped the piece of paper he was looking at out of his book and stuffed it in his jean pocket. He frantically flicked to another page and looked back up. All the others had taken their seats and everything was ready.

“Princess you may enter!” Eddie’s voice echoed around the room as Y/N slowly pushed the door open. He could feel the excitement of everyone building and building. Eddie rose from his throne, coming into his dungeon master persona. “Today you will officially join us as part of the Hellfire club! Are you-“

Eddie’s train of thought stopped as Y/N came into view.

She had put glitter and gemstones around her face. Elf ears added onto her actual ears. A dainty tiara on top of her head.

If she was ethereal before, now she was celestial. Seemingly otherworldly.

Eddie gulped as she floated over and took her seat at Eddie’s right.

“Yeah, I’m ready.” She replied with an angelic smile. She noted the look Eddie was giving her. “You okay Eddie?”

“Fucking hell Y/N you coulda warned me.” Eddie mumbled as he rubbed his hands over his face. She didn’t quite hear him. He composed himself. “Never better. Let’s get started, shall we?”

———————————————————————

The session was a massive success and Y/N had a great time. She managed to keep the princess alive, with Eddie giving her hints he probably shouldn’t have.

“I’ll pack up guys. See ya on Monday.” Eddie said as the others got up. The boys said their goodbyes and left the club room. “You still need a ride home?” He asked Y/N with a smiled.

“Yes please.” Y/N smiled back, beginning to help Eddie clear up. The dungeon master breathed in then out slowly before speaking again.

“Uh hey why don’t we do a quick little epilogue, just before we go?” Y/N frowned a little in confusion.

“But the others have already left?”

“Y-Yeah just- just us two.” Eddie began to feel his nerves building.

“Okay then.” Y/N agreed, sitting back down. Eddie composed himself once again and sat down too. Y/N watched as he pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket and unfolded it, putting it down flat on the table. The pair stared at each other. Y/N in anticipation.

“Princess, you find yourself walking around town that night. After the harrowing journey you had been on, you wanted some quiet time to yourself to reflect on all that had happened. The streets were almost silent, only the occasional villager still out, making their way home from the tavern. You turn a corner, heading towards your horse. Walking through the stables you spot the stable boy, hard at work.”

Y/N smiled. The princess had met the stable boy before, early on in the adventurers’ quest when they needed horses. She managed to charm him into letting them borrow the horses with the promise of retuning them, which they did.

He was the only character Eddie didn’t put on a voice for. The stable boy was surprisingly charismatic and charming himself, seeming to favour the princess out of the group of adventurers.

Eddie tilted his head to the side, still smiling. “What do you do?”

“Hello again stable boy. You’re up late.” Y/N said, being the princess.

“Your highness. He bowed in respect at your status. My day is just starting actually. I heard about your quest and I thank you for saving us and keeping your promise. He patted one of the horses.”

“Of course. What kind of a princess wouldn’t keep her promises?”

“Not one as good as you your highness.”

Y/N watched Eddie as his smile faltered for a moment. He took another deep breath in then out. She leaned forward slightly, awaiting whatever was to come next. Eddie stood up and came to kneel on one knee, on the left side of Y/N’s chair. He kept his head down, unable to look up at her as he spoke.

“Princess. I know I am nothing more than a lowly stable boy, and I’ve got some nerve asking someone as high and honourable as you anything… but I must ask you.” Eddie gulped as he slowly lifted his head. He found comfort in Y/N looking at him. Of course he did. She always made him feel at ease. It was silly to think she would fill him with fear, even in this situation.

He continued. “Would you find any pleasure in accompanying me one night?” Y/N’s smile grew wider and wider. Giving Eddie more and more confidence. “We could go to the tavern. Or perhaps a walk around the town? It doesn’t matter much to me, as along as I am in your company.”

Y/N didn’t answer in game. Her hands went to the sides of Eddie’s face as she crashed her lips onto his. Eddie slowly stood up, making Y/N stand too. He found is hands wrapping around her waist and hers moved to the back of his neck. The two could feel the other smiling against the other. Y/N began giggling which ended the kiss, their foreheads touching.

“Did you plan that all out for me?”

“…maybe.” She giggled again, finding his lips.

“My silly stable boy.”

“Princess.”

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[supernatural-dreamer]

The Unnatural and Unexpected (Embry Call x Black! Reader)

A/N: Hey you guys! Guess who’s back..back again! I had a few ideas in my head and want to put it out there..I thought about turning this into a series and expanding it further. Leave a comment if I should … as always like, comment and follow… let me know what you think!

This is set during Eclipse around newborn battle. This is tailored for a African American/Black female reader specifically, however all are welcome to read..

~Lauren

—

Part 2

Masterlist

—

Imagine being Embry’s imprint and tagging along with the wolves to their newborn training session. However, you’re always in for an unexpected surprise when you’re around Bella..

People had a lot of different opinions when it came to you. There was one trait, everyone seemed to agree that you possessed:

You were a skeptic. 

Hell, you didn’t even really believe in the Easter bunny or Santa Claus when you were a kid. Magic? Please. Vampires and wolves, no such thing. 

You should’ve known when your family moved to a sleepy ass town straight out of a mystery novel you would be wrong. Dead ass wrong. When the new girl, Bella, befriended you, normal flew out of the window the same time she did last year.     

She dragged you to La Push after the Cullen’s had left the prior year. It was there you were introduced to Jacob, Quil and Embry. You instantly took a liking to La Push, the boys -and particularly Embry. Unexpectedly, they took a liking to you too. 

From then on, you found yourself gravitating more towards the reservation; the tranquil beaches reminding you of your previous Floridan home. You just felt a connection there that you couldn’t quite put your finger on. 

She also dragged you to Jacob’s house after HE stopped talking to her. 

It was at this point you honestly had to question what this girl was doing to cause people to run away from her like the plague. I mean it wasn’t just a few, but groups of people seemed to just up and cut off ties with her, seemingly overnight

However, after quickly realizing her propensity for sticking her nose in places she probably shouldn’t, it started to make a little more sense. Though, you would be lying if you said that you weren't a tiny bit curious as to what exactly she stumbled upon. 

A group of people that could secretly shift into giant wolves was not at all  on that list of possibilities. 

You being an imprint to one of those shifters? Never even dreamed about it. 

Although, you weren't too upset at the unexpected revelation this time.

She dragged you to the Cullen’s when they returned a few months ago. Outside of Bella’s tales of her interactions with them, you didn’t really hang around or know much about them. You had a few of the members in your class and one of them as a science lab partner a few months back. They were slightly off and distant at first but after you got to a place of polite conversation, you chalked it up to just shyness. When you found out they were vampires, naturally, you didn’t believe her– until you found out about the wolves.

 Suddenly, their isolation and behavior made sense. After that, you never really looked at them the same.

Knowing both vampires and shifters even existed in itself was a shock.  Learning about their sheer abilities was slightly terrifying. You’d be lying if you said being around them didn’t make you feel a little more..vulnerable. Although Bella felt differently, you didn’t like that if things went left for whatever reason, you could be snapped into two with zero hesitation. The only way you could gain any control over this is by immersing yourself into the world of the supernatural at your pace. 

It is why when Embry told you you were his imprint, as much as you liked him, you still kept a little distance. Him and the pack understood- never pushing you past your comfort level. Although Emily, and the other imprints at times, playing referee before things ever got out of control, have a major hand in that you suspect.

Since you lived in Forks, Embry and the pack were away during the day, unless you came to the reservation. You were the only outsider, aside from Bella, that knew both of their secrets. So when she fucked around and found out with Victoria and a newborn broke into your house–you found yourself spending more time at the Cullen's house. Or more accurately, dragged there.

The first few times, it was a little awkward. But after a few visits, they actually started warming up to you and vice versa. Alice gossiped with you from day one–asking you questions about your hair and even complimenting your appearance. You shot the breeze with Emmett about sports. Hell, even Rosalie had warmed up to you a little, much to yours and Bella’s shock. By your third visit, they cooked you dinner.

You had to admit a three hundred-something year old vampire making a pasta dinner from an old ass cookbook was a pretty amusing site. They were actually pretty damn good cooks too.

Embry and the pack were not happy about this, but he knew better than to try and tell you what to do. With all of the newborn activity, there was only so much he could do. He took some solace with the fact others were looking out for you when he was not around. It would be a cold day in hell before he let his pride keep you from being safe--even if it meant dealing with his sworn enemies. Besides, the more comfortable you had gotten around the Cullen's, the closer you got to him and the pack: A bonus in his eyes.

 Regardless of your apprehensions, nothing could be solved if you buried your head in the sand and pretended none of this existed. Whether you liked it or not, yours and Bella’s fates were intertwined. At the very least, you figured you could keep an eye on her to make sure she didn’t get herself, others or you into deeper trouble --or worse. 

When she asked you to go with her to the field and watch them train, you obliged. Hopping from the backseat of Edward’s volvo, you slammed the door shut behind you. Bella emerged from the passenger side shortly after and fell into step next to you. You parked yourself on the sidelines of the clearing, far enough away from the action, but close enough to see and hear what was going on.

Not too long after, the shifters, in all their glory, emerged from the trees. Two of them split off from the group and headed toward you and Bella. The slightly smaller, slender one sniffed and circled around you.

“I’m fine, Embry.” You affirmed, chuckling softly. He nuzzled his snout into your palm, and let you scratch behind his ears before running off to join the others, Jacob in tow behind him. All you could do was hold your breath and hope they could play nice for a few hours, as Carlisle stepped up and took his place in front of the pack, Edward slightly behind him.

~

To your amazement, it actually went way better than anticipated. You actually chuckled a few times when Emmett pummeled Edward several times and Alice had gotten the upper hand on Rosalie. Even Carlisle had a few tricks up his sleeve. For a centuries old vampire, he had some moves.

Everything was just about to wrap up, when you saw a few of the wolves perking their heads up in alert. When the Cullen’s stopped mid-stride, turning their heads into the clearing, you started to grow concerned. Embry was next to you in an instant, staring at the clearing, slightly growling.. You were about to ask what was going on when Edward finally spoke.

“The pack has heard something in the woods and Sam is asking if we could assist them. I let them know that we will and will be right behind them. In the meantime, we need to get Bella and YN out of here.” He translates, heading toward Bella. As if on cue, the pack  disappears into the woods, Embry the last one behind. Edward looks at him.

“Esme, Jasper and myself will take Bella and YN back to the house. You are more than welcome to stop by there after the coast is clear. She will be safe.” You can hear him snarl slightly beside you, until you console him. 

“I will be okay. I’ll see you after,” you assure him, patting his head for good measure. Somewhat satisfied at your response, he starts off toward the trees.. Embry turns around, takes one last look at you and the Cullen’s now beside you, then disappears into the clearing. It was as if he was saying,  “Take care of her or, I’m coming after you next..”

You didn’t have to be Edward to know that. 

Once the rest of the coven had taken off with Embry, Esme wasted no time directing her sons.

“We need to split them up in case someone decides to tail us. Edward and I are going to take Bella the long way back to the house. You take YN back as fast as you can. We will trail you until about halfway, then diverge into a different direction.” Before you could protest, Edward was already shutting the door to his passenger seat, Bella already inside.

“You’ll be back before you know it. We’ll be right behind you.” She squeezes your hand in reassurance.

Jasper then looks at you for a second, and your rising anxiety dampers for a bit. You chalked it up to his abilities, before he instructed you.

“It will be easier and faster if I can carry you. Keep your eyes closed, count backwards from 100, and hold onto me as tight as you can. Don’t worry about hurting me. Trust me on this one.” He gently touched your arm in comfort, goosebumps left behind in the wake of his touch. 

Japer Whitlock was a man of few words, but when he spoke it was hard not to listen. For whatever reason, you actually believed him. 

As soon as you were in his arms, Jasper was off. Esme, Bella and Edward were right on your tail before they approached a fork in the road, just as Esme said, and veered off into another direction.

~

Bella might have been oblivious to many things but this was not one of them. As soon as Edward got into the car, she questioned him. The green trees surrounding them turning into blurs as they whizzed passed them.

“What was that all about?” Her significant other remains silent as he speeds up slightly, trying to keep Esme’s pace. 

“He looked at her, the way you did with me when we first met..” She trails off in realization. 

“You don’t think..”

“As unorthodox as it sounds, yes. That’s exactly what it is. Alice didn’t even see this coming.” He sighs, stunning her into silence. 

Edward knew exactly how you felt about the life of the supernatural. If he’s being honest, he wants the same type of normalcy for Bella, despite her desires otherwise. He has seen many things in his afterlife that he did not want her to have to go through, if he could help that. It was very rare that he did not know something due to his mind reading abilities or general knowledge.

Yet, the reasoning as to how a shifter’s imprint could also be a blood singer eluded him entirely.

For the second time these past few years, Edward was at a loss. He did not think it was possible. Even Carlisle has never seen something like this in his extensive afterlife.

He is even more at a loss as to how Jasper will break this to you. The one thing that is clear is the more he keeps it a secret, the more danger he’ll put you in. Although he loved his brother, you became his good friend. He hated too see anyone he cared about in unnecessary danger. So, he gave Jasper an ultimatum: he tells you or someone else will.

This was unexpected and unnatural even, but it was the truth nonetheless.

For a human that wanted little to do with the supernatural, you were now going to be at the center of it.

The bitter irony, he thought as he continued dashing through the trees in the seemingly endless forest. 

—

[bettsfic]

Venting-

When I hear people give the advice that writing is never a waste of time if you’re having fun or you should never feel like a story was a waste of time, you should enjoy the process. This advice I believe is real and true and works for some writers. But at the same time, there are writers who are very stressed when writing and feel better about their work when it’s finished. Not the “I enjoy having written.” But the “I have crippling anxiety and can only tell if my time, effort, and semi-breakdowns were worth something if I complete what I set out to do.”

Not to diminish anyone who agrees or resonates with the first statement, I admire those people a lot and wish I was calm enough to feel the same.

in my years of teaching and coaching, i've noticed there are two kinds of writers: "process" writers and "product" writers. rather, there exists a spectrum from one to the other.

on the process side, you have writers who reach a flow state fairly easily, who can become immersed in a world or idea of their own invention, and they write in large part to seek that immersive state. the end of a project seems more like a tragedy than an achievement because it marks the loss of the immersive state, and it will take energy and discipline and happenstance to find the next. i've also noticed that it becomes harder rather than easier to find that state over time; the more projects you finish, the fewer ideas appeal to you in the same way.

conversely, product writers get to feel that sense of achievement upon completing a project that process writers may lack, and that pleasure is worth the pain and turmoil of the act of creating something. product writing takes a lot of strength, patience, and discipline i think, to do something hard for the reward of having done it. it's the difference between an athlete and a surgeon. a person becomes an athlete for love of the sport, the act of playing. winning is important, but they wouldn't be able to win without first finding joy in the game. a surgeon, on the other hand, probably doesn't get into the job for the fun of operating. the fulfillment is in the operation's success; it's hard work with high risk. but the reward of saving or improving lives is worth it.

admittedly as a process writer it's always been hard for me to wrap my head around product writers. not only do i not have the patience to seek a sense of achievement, i think i'm mostly incapable of relishing any reward at all unless the reward is in the pursuit itself. looking back, i can't think of any single moment i've ever felt a sense of success. but also i've always struggled with concepts like ambition and competition. i've never had any drive to win anything, but also i've never felt much when i lose or fail. sometimes i wish those things mattered more to me, because then i would be a more driven and decisive person, and i'd be more successful in my career.

i know i'm on the extreme end of the process-product divide, and that colors a lot of my perspective of teaching and mentoring. but i think writers can shift on the spectrum depending on where they're at in their writing life or even with whatever project they're working on. i've been trying to have a more product-based mentality recently to at least develop the skill of shifting to the other side when i need to, so that i can get the patience and focus to write a novel that is not just me plopping my heart onto the page and hoping somebody out there cares. product writers have an easier time convincing other people of the value of their story, because the value of the story is a big reason why they write it. a purely product writer, like the surgeon, writes something because they feel that thing needs to exist in the world. meanwhile the only way for a purely process writer to be professionally successful is to happen by sheer coincidence to find an immersive state that also crosses with the interests of the current market. like the athlete, success involves training, hard work, and being at the right place at the right time. sure, churning out 100k words in a couple months and having a blast while doing it is great, but it comes from this wild inner place that can't really be controlled; meanwhile product writers can take that wildness and intentionally shape it into something. when you're feeling jealous of the other side, though, it's important to remember that both the meadow and the garden are equally beautiful.

[amongemeraldclouds]

Mattheo’s Gamble

Anguished by your tragic passing in the Second Wizarding War, Mattheo makes a bet with the Grim Reaper to get you back (features different AUs)

Mattheo Riddle x Reader

Official entry for @thatdammchickennugget's Hogmarch challenge, prompt 3.

Author's note: Steering off the prompt a bit as I have no idea how to write sports so here's another 'game' I thought of. I usually prefer writing full fics but this idea is so complex, enjoy this bite sized version instead.

✿ Masterlist | 677 words

♡ They had no right to take you away from him, Mattheo seethes as he strides into the Grim Reaper's lair.

♡ He had sacrificed way too much in the war only to lose what's most important to him in the end.

♡ Mattheo pleads his case, the Grim Reaper has to revive you. You are meant to be together in every single lifetime, losing you in this one is a mistake. It was never meant to happen.

♡ Mattheo doesn't actually know if it's true, but he is desperate.

♡ The Grim Reaper agrees to his request, if he wins a wager. He and Mattheo will visit three different lifetimes to test his theory. If proven correct that you always end up together across different lives, Grim Reaper is ready to correct the mistake and revive you fully, as if you never left at all.

♡ But if Mattheo is wrong, he would have to spend a hundred years in damnation. Mattheo believes he has nothing left to lose so he agrees to the wager with no hesitation.

Ancient Egypt AU

⛺︎ In the first lifetime Mattheo and the Grim Reaper visit, you are the pharaoh's daughter, beloved by all people.

⛺︎ Mattheo is the high court magician, highly favored by your father.

⛺︎ You and Mattheo grew up together and eventually become lovers. Your father would not approve if he found out so you keep it a secret.

⛺︎ Meanwhile, your father is arranging a strategic marriage for you.

1800s AU

☾ You and Mattheo meet while taking an extended vacation with your family. He’s staying in the same hotel as you and you become fast friends.

☾ It doesn't take long for the two of you to fall in love and promise to write each other letters to stay in touch.

☾ After your departure, you send him a letter but never hear from him again, thinking he has moved on.

☾ Forty years later, a mailman takes his last shift before retirement. While clearing an old pile of mail, he finds your letter wedged in between cabinets. Mattheo never received your letter.

☾ The mailman takes it upon himself to track down Mattheo to deliver your letter, his first adventure after retiring.

Mafia AU

⭐︎ The final life Mattheo and the Grim Reaper visit. You and Mattheo come from two warring gangs. He's one of the leaders of his gang, whereas your father is the leader in their rival gang.

⭐︎ To keep you safe, your father hid his world away from you and the mafia doesn’t know much about your existence either.

⭐︎ One day, your father disappears. To investigate his whereabouts, you go undercover in the rival gang to gather intel. They assign you to the subgroup that Mattheo leads.

Between the Grim Reaper and Mattheo

♡ The Grim Reaper reveals he chose the hardest timelines for you and Mattheo to end up together. During their journey across the different AUs, the Grim Reaper throws in more obstacles on your path.

♡ "Filthy cheater," Mattheo accuses the Grim Reaper.

♡ "Did you think I was going to go easy on you?" he replies with a cold smile. "I thought you were so sure about this little connection of yours.”

♡ Mattheo grits his teeth but says nothing further.

♡ In the end, you make your relationship work and end up together every single lifetime, against all odds. Thus proving that love is its own kind of magic. And oh, it is one of the most powerful.

♡ The Grim Reaper is amused by the whole wager and holds up his end of the bargain by reuniting you back with Mattheo.

♡ "How?" you ask, looking into Mattheo's eyes once you get a moment to catch your breath from all the happy tears and the vice grip of his embrace.

♡ "Would you believe me if I told you it was the power of love?" he asks.

♡ You laugh, "who are you and what have you done with my Mattheo?"

♡ "I'm right here love and you're here," he says, pulling you back into another hug, savoring the moment. Just as it was always meant to be, he thinks.

Cue Taylor Swift's Timeless: 'Cause I believe that we were supposed to find this so, even in a different life, you still would've been mine, we would've been timeless.

✿ Masterlist

A/N: Changed the name to the Grim Reaper bc tumblr shadowbanned the original name starting with D.

Inspired by: The (Unalived) Hallows, Cloud Atlas, Doctor Who, Letters to Juliet, reading the Akashic Records.

[smhalltheurlsaretaken]

Not me being mad today about people over exaggerating the "do or do not there is no try" and hating on the Jedi for it as if it's not an idiom about always trying your best and giving it your all (and considering things when you do them) instead of literally saying don't try if you can't succeed. :/

I've always understood "do or do not, there is no try" as "ultimately, you will either have done or not done" - it seems like it's about focusing on the outcome instead of the process.

(As a recap of what exactly happens in ESB: Luke is doing a handstand trying to lift stones with Yoda perched on his leg when the ship suddenly sinks further into the water. It breaks Luke's concentration and his rocks fall, along with him, and Yoda. Luke laments they'll never get the ship back, Yoda laments that Luke always thinks things are too hard to be done, Luke says lifting stones is different, Yoda says it isn't, and Luke agrees to try, which is when Yoda has his iconic line.

And critically, after Luke does try and fail, Yoda gives him a great speech about the nature of the Force and how it binds everything together and Luke despondently says that it's just impossible. Upon which Yoda lifts the ship out of the water, of course, and Luke exclaims that he can't believe it, to which Yoda answers that that's why he's failing.)

Obviously you won't always get things right the first time, and that's precisely what Luke is frustrated about in the scene. And because he's disappointed that he's not getting things right, he doesn't even want to try anymore - his first instinct is to give up because he thinks the situation is beyond fixing.

So the critical point about the quote is that this Yoda shifting the focus: he tells Luke to stop thinking about what he's doing and concentrate on what he wants to do.

This is because of Luke's current state of mind, because Luke is currently associating his own efforts with failure, it's not just a random thing he's saying to make him feel bad.

Everything Star Wars tells us about the Force is that it's used through both intuition and confidence:

That's why the Jedi train so hard from such a young age - you can't doubt yourself or second-guess the Force, or you will get your ass kicked by both the universe and your potential opponents. You have to be able to trust your instincts because you have to rely on them - hence the need to either instill good Force-oriented instincts in kids, or in Luke's case relearn his own base sentient instincts. You can't learn to categorize the material world as 'too heavy,' 'too far,' 'not possible' - you have to focus on the Force, not the physical nature of the objects or your own limitations.

Luke thinks and feels the way a non Force-sensitive would: 'heavy things = can't be lifted.' He was doing okay lifting stones upside down, but he was using his muscles to stand upright, not the Force (hence why he was struggling to stay up and why he fell so easily). His concentration was clouded by material concerns (the loss of the ship and his own powerlessness) so he couldn't maintain it. He sees success as depending on his own conscious efforts but that's just not the way it works, he has to let go because his mind is just not wired right yet and so his efforts are necessarily counterproductive. It's that materialism that Yoda is responding to.

That's the point of Yoda's lesson imo - it's not so much about the technicalities of 'giving it everything you've got,' it's about something much deeper. He is trying to get Luke to radically change his mindset and entire worldview (the 'luminous beings, not this crude matter' quote is from this scene too), because Luke is never going to succeed if he thinks in terms of 'trying.'

If Luke could visualize the starship out of the bog and focus on that, the starship would be out of the bog. If he's focused on trying to lift it out of the bog, then he'll fail because everything in his mind tells him he can't.

Which is exactly what happens.

And the fact is, we know Yoda is 100% right with his advice and that everything he says and teaches in that moment is endorsed by the narrative - because he easily succeeds where Luke kept failing.

Story-wise, it couldn't be clearer that Yoda's advice is good, because it's immediately proven that not following it doesn't yield results, but that following it does.

Like most Jedi maxims, "Do, or do not. There is no try," is circumstantial advice and I'm pretty sure it doesn't show up again in Star Wars canon, be it the movies or TCW (until Rebels that is, when Kanan quotes it to Ezra like it's a rote thing that Yoda used to say all the time and it's kind of 'ah ah' moment because neither of them can figure out what it means). Which is why it kinda bugs me that it was elevated to a Yoda proverb like it's something he says constantly and not just something Luke needed to hear in that moment. It's a banger of a quote though.

[gatitties]

Old habits

─Connor & Hank x reader (platonic)

─Summary: some nostalgia hit you and you decide to remember old times, the bad part is that Hank remembered too much.

─Warnings: none

The red and blue lights were the signal that made you accelerate your steps, you hung your backpack more comfortably on both shoulders while you threw a spray can at the nearest trash can as if it were a basketball. You smiled stupidly as you heard the siren of the police car coming and going as you hid and ran like a rat through the alleys of Detroit, you felt like your fifteen year old self.

Using the darkness to your advantage, you took cover for a few minutes in an alley, long enough for the sound of the police sirens to fade away, searching for false clues about your whereabouts. Changing your posture and hanging your backpack on just one shoulder, you grabbed your headphones to walk calmly towards your apartment as if you hadn't graffitied an entire wall without permission from the owner or without checking whether it was legal to do so or not in that place.

You walked watching as children and adults flooded the streets dressed in horror themes, not all of them were certainly something terrifying, but people always like to have an excuse to dress up as anything. Not in your case, at least, not on this occasion, it wouldn't be a nice Halloween when you weren't the one who had to ask for candy but rather give it, and it wouldn't be a nice Halloween when you're the one who's stuck at work all night, you hate and love your work schedule in equal measure, but you've already agreed to it and there's nothing you can do.

You quickly went home to change into your uniform and leave the paint, with no time to waste since to no one's surprise you were going to be late, you didn't even stop for dinner like you usually did before your work shift, although you could always have dinner in the cafeteria there.

You almost tripped when you saw one of your companions with his face painted like a ghost, they offered you some sweets at the entrance and a small welcome as usual, what you did not expect that night was to find Lieutenant Anderson so late there, that old man swore to you that he hated working late, that he'd rather be drunk in a bar than doing reports. But he also swore to hate androids and seems to have adopted Connor like he was a puppy, so you can believe anything.

"Happy Halloween Hank, don't you want candy?"

Despite having just gotten these sweets, offering them never hurts, but Hank just waved his hand denying the proposal, without taking his eyes off of his computer while he typed.

"Yeah, yeah, happy… whatever, I don't like sweets, you can have mine."

"Really?"

Your face seemed to light up at his words, and even before he could give you permission to take them, you already had them in your hands, he shook his head at your childish attitude while a voice in his head murmured “young adults these days.”

You logged into your account, did some paperwork, checked some emails… after at least two hours you decided to take a short break, noticing that Hank was still in his place, although now Connor was also at his side, both of them seemed focused on whatever they were doing, not wanting to interrupt, you walked past them only giving the android a nod in greeting, he smiled slightly at you in response.

Luck seemed to be on your side when upon entering the cafeteria you saw no sign of Gavin, he had been being an idiot lately, that is, more than usual, and it wouldn't be too unusual to find him late going over some paperwork. You looked at the different sandwich options, opting to try a new one instead of the one you usually choose, you also took the opportunity to grab some coffee, your faithful companion would help keep you awake enough even though by now you were used to living like an owl.

You returned to your place and looked for a video on the computer because you are not having dinner without watching something, you finish your dinner quickly, tasting the coffee more slowly, before returning to work you decide to take another look at Hank's site, you smile when you see that he was frowning, annoyed by something, you whistle, catching Connor's attention, who seems to be waiting for you to speak when you exchange glances.

"Why does the old man seem in a bad mood?"

You whisper, hoping the aforementioned doesn't hear you call him old, the android moves a little closer, sliding his wheeled chair closer to your table.

"An old graffiti artist has returned, apparently Lieutenant Anderson started working with small petty crime cases and-"

"And you don't need to whisper so much, I'm still not old enough to have hearing problems." Hank approached both of you, in his own chair, crossing his arms while you tried to hide in some way, his look told you everything you wanted to know "Do you have anything to say in your defense?"

"Yes, you're making accusations too quickly, you don't know if I'm really- I mean, if that graffiti artist is really back, maybe someone is imitating their art, there's a lot of plagiarism in street art world."

"Oh my God, you're not fooling anyone, least of all me, I know you as if I had raised you myself."

Connor was left analyzing the situation confused by the lack of data, he tried to piece together the clues while your conversation with Hank went back and forth in a tightrope fight to prove your innocence. The android studied you carefully, blinking as he looked at your index finger and part of your palm.

"Dry paint?"

Was the only thing he said after seeing your hand, Hank raised one of his eyebrows as you slowly hid your hand, you shot a look at Connor who didn't seem to realize that he had unconsciously give you away.

"Then what the hell are we doing with you, should i arrest you now?"

"Oh, come on Hank! It's no big deal, it's something stupid."

"Something stupid that teenagers do, yeah, are you fifteen again or what?"

"I just thought I would relax a little by painting… it's not like I was committing homicide."

"No, but it can be considered a lesser crime, they can file a proceeding against you for that."

Connor joined once he had all the related data, doing a quick search for your artist pseudonym and the areas you had previously been painting in when you were young.

"You're not helping me."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize."

Both you and Hank said in sync, you looked at each other one last time before he sighed tiredly, he didn't have the desire or time to deal with old habits, he was the only one to discover that his internship student was the one that was doing so much street art at that time, anyway, you promised him that you weren't going to do this every day, you just felt nostalgic when passing by a paint store and decided to treat yourself now that the police were more attentive to Halloween pranks than small graffiti vandals.

The topic remained there when Fowler left his office, about half an hour later them got up, You moved your head away from the monitor, watching suspiciously as Hank put on his jacket to finish his shift.

"Are you leaving so soon? You could give me some company, I will die of loneliness."

"Oh you're not alone, I think you'll survive."

Hank pointed to a couple of officers who were in their booth or in the cafeteria.

"Whatever, then get out now."

You pretended to be angry, crossing your arms, frowning and looking away, though it only lasted a few seconds when he spoke again, Connor just watching the interaction.

"You know, if you're going to go back to your old ways, I'd rather you dress up and do those teenage things, you know, those… um, imstagarm? before you go back to your petty criminal stage."

"Oh- please don't remind me of that time, the way I dressed and acted has to be erased from all the memories of the people who saw me, as well as all my posts on social networks."

"Wow, I would never have thought you had that style, it's… very different from the current one."

Connor rejoined the conversation after searching your old social media, you thought you had gotten rid of all embarrassing content, but you more than anyone knew that the internet does not forget or forgive, you grabbed Connor's shoulders to shake him.

"Can you stop looking for information about those things? It's too embarrassing!"

Hank laughed, pulling you away from the poor android, you sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose, they said goodbye to you as if they hadn't made you remember a time in your life that you preferred to keep in a drawer deep in your mind, although before Connor walked out the door, he turned to you, seeing that you were still thinking about those years.

"By the way, your art is really original, you should think about asking for permission to paint murals, there are also stores that request services of that type, at least they won't be able to fine you that way."

Momentarily forgetting the chaos in your memories, you smiled at Connor, thanking him for his opinion and advice, although he had to leave because Hank was getting impatient outside, you quickly said goodbye as you went back to having a conversation with an expert, namely yourself about you from the past and your old ─and some strange─ habits, coming to the conclusion that you would pretend that years didn't happen in your life and you went from thirteen to twenty-one in a year, yes it would stay that way.

[mdhwrites]

Is Belos the only Owl House villain with a fandom that's giving him more depth than the show?

Edit: I just noticed that you said TOH villain specifically. *smacks self* But also Kikimora exists... Or literally any fanfic about the S1 villains probably. TOH has a lot of dry puddle villains when it comes to depth. As someone who literally ever did King Sombra fiction for the My Little Pony, no. No it is not. In fact, I actually highly doubt that it's really that uncommon. A lot of pure evil villains will be warped and shifted as they hit a fandom so that they are more useful for shipping or can be more complex in their villainy than what was shown in the show. After all, when you start from rock bottom, it's hard to really not go up.

I think the big thing about Belos that makes him bizarre is that where as a lot of other fandoms will just agree that the villain was shallow, the fandom is split on him. There are those like me who believes he's incredibly bland and doesn't care about his backstory elements because, you know, backstory is not a personality. A boring character with an interesting backstory is still a boring character.

There is a side of the fandom though who are REALLY upset about Belos' treatment in the finale because of all those crumbs of backstory that they see as what could have been. Hell, because people linked me a recent review of TOH, I saw people in the comments effectively being split on the reviewers main complaint about the show being that Belos is just bluntly, boringly evil. Some thought he was right on the money, others talked about the shortening and some argued that he was actually complex, you just had to dig for it. (No I won't link the review because of issues surrounding the person who made it. It's also pretty bare bones anyways and what you'd expect from a 12 minute, positive review of TOH.)

This is demonstrative of the issue with Belos though, isn't it? Compelling concepts that are all in service for someone who can be boiled down to "Narcissistic, genocidal, racist moron." Someone betrayed by family who abandoned him and his loneliness and pain lashed out upon the world? A ruler who believes that the oppression of his own people is for their own sake due to religious fervor? A human who believes the other world to be a hell that he must crusade against? Each of these is actually not a bad concept on its own but they're not all compatible together. Maybe any two can do it but these are only three of the like half a dozen concepts you could read into Belos through his backstory and actions, minimum, and pretty much all demand that he actually have more than two braincells together because he is really rock stupid. Remember: He never planned for how to murder the children of the Isles, only the adults. In fact, he made sure to ADD protections on the children rather than making it more dangerous for them which could have led to an actual decline in population.

I will always prefer how Belos presented himself in S1's finale, a portrayal that does NOT work with his actual goals. His statement of "I do not seek conquest, only unity," is just bullshit. Murdering an entire race isn't unity after all. Also why bother lying to the human here? Why not try to get her on your side? Be honest with her? Or trap her so as to make sure not to allow her to backstab you like your brother? I know people say time loop stuff but he is still trying to convince her to work with him and is disappointed when she refuses, while also MURDERING LILITH which is a bit of a big deal if he actually remembers them after so long, so I don't buy it.

That portrayal has always been my favorite though because it makes Luz and Belos have similar goals but differing ideologies for reaching those goals. Belos believes that unity can be found through order and control, even if it restricts expression, while Luz promotes radical expressionism and the idea that it is our differences that make us stronger. It's great theming and makes it so that anytime Luz doesn't make a friend because they're simply too different, she has to question if he's potentially correct.

But then the show does the weird decision that each characters individuality, besides one or traits, is slowly eroded away over the course of the show. Everyone is just a nice person. You get a jock added eventually with Willow but that's about it. You don't have anyone overly serious, minus when Hunter is putting up a front and defaulting to trained behavior, you have no goths, punks, pure balls of sunshine who are annoying, etc. like that. Not amongst those that the show doesn't frame as mostly a joke, like how Lilith's hyperfixations are treated.

It's an awkward element of the main cast that makes Belos as the grand villain really awkward. You can't have a villain who is still seeking unity like that without him potentially being able to point out how those around Luz have lost their personal desires and goals, their interests, besides Willow (and kind of Gus with his human interest that is still... awkward to put it mildly), and so genuinely how different are their methods when she isn't as inclusive as she claims to be?

Even Kikimora, perhaps the most alternative person when compared to Luz's comfort zone, is only brought into Luz's range when she presents herself as capable of being a strawman for Luz and Luz gets an in to say "Look! She's a person! At least in my eyes." Before, you know, she ditches Luz to continue to be ambitious and care about her own goals, evil as they may be.

I've gotten kind of off topic but I guess my main point is to also discuss how you get a villain like Belos to some extent. I can absolutely like a pure evil villain btw. I don't think Ozai is a detriment to Avatar as his pure evil nature matches the fact that the war he is committing is just as much a force of nature, destroying the land, as it is some asshole's desire to conquer, capstoned not with his fight against Aang but his literal attempt to annihilate a CONTINENT. At that point, your goal isn't conquest, it's total destruction. A literal scorched Earth.

But Belos? Every attempt to pretend Belos was nuanced or the like just brought him lower and lower.

======+++++======

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[lotusmi]

https://www.tumblr.com/lotusmi/710901526611329025/i-know-everyone-says-you-can-manifest-anything-in?source=share

if you think this is not possible wouldn't that be limiting in a way

Well, here it comes to a point you are judging my beliefs lol. If you want to believe that, then it is upon you. You do not need to agree with me.

🔖LOTUS thoughts on shifting, manifesting and realities:

I ask you to read this fully - but dont overthink this topic, it is no-sense to overthink it. Again, you don't have to agree with me.

Now here it comes to 2 theories that I still am learning and I dont know what theory I am bending for yet.

1. There are infinite realities, each one with all that already exists. (shifting thinking)

then I have two points:

a) We change our reality? I don't think so. For me, creation is finished. For me, we only shift! For me we shift a reality where we have the desired thing. my anon revised living in Dubai. Does both our awareness shifted together? Or does the reality was changed?

b) And if we got INFINITE realities. Then we are talking here about even life in other planets (which i already real about in cia stuff). We are talking here about you wearing now, in each reality, the same dress but all different colours possible. All the clothes that exist. You having all the different skin colours. You being born in other country. Realities that you already died. Realities where you was not born.

And then comes a person who wants to be married to Jimin in all realities, shit like that. Oh, right. But what about realities that guy was not born? What about realities that guy did not even joined bts? Hm? I like to see the bigger-picture, always. Let's say someone want chickens to stop existing in all realities. Yea. Well... what about planets that chickens already were non-existent? What if in that place, 🍗 were the only food?

Another thing that is really no sense for me are those girlies who want to date a celebrity and date the guy IN ALL realities. I MYSELF. Don't believe that. Why? Because for me, all possibilities are ALREADY DONE. So the guy is dating the girl and in other reality he is with her cousin etc.

Some people really overcomplicate this and overthink it. Like, they are really afraid of shifting. But what they don't remember is: they are manifesting since they were born. So they are shifting since that. They are not in the reality they were at the 'begining', but they shifted at every state. Like 🦋 effect. If you decided to drink coffee is one reality, if you decided to drink tea, other.

2. There is not objetive reality, but only counciousness being reflected. (tradicional loa thinking, hologram universe)

This means there is nothing that exist if you are not aware of it. It means what you aware = what you see. That means there was never something real, but what you were aware, was being projected. Like a simulation. "Nothing to change but self". Why? Because there is no "realities", but shadows of our beliefs, what we were fooled to believe. “There is no 'here' to differentiate it from 'there.'”

But then...

a) is the entire multiverse, 3d and 4d experience and astral experience personal? Because, if it is, then the whole multiverse and all deities and beings are yours to control. EVERY aspect of 'what exists'.

b) If this is the truth, then it is no sense the "fear" some people have of manifest a thing and shift. There was never a 'here' to shift to 'there'. We only change the hologram by changing our counciousness.

Example:

Ok let's say your mom is sick. Then you probably will go to some blogger's inbox and ask something along this lines "Hi, my mom is sick. I want to manifest her to be healthy without shifting, since I don't want her to be sick in my old reality and I shift to one where she is healthy" or "I want her to be healthy in all realities".

We know, we should not concearn about the "how". Our business is only assume it is already done and fullfil our desire within.

We all also know that we should not be reasoning about what is happening in the outside, but within.

So this is mostly all my thoughts on this topic, I try to see the bigger-picture, but I still have so much to learn.

[phoenix-flamed]

As I'm playing through the Rosalith flashback and paying closer attention to things like the NPCs around the area's comments, as well as while bearing in mind everything we learn as the game progresses, in the lore tidbits, the thought lines, and even the Ultimania...

My perspective on Elwin as a ruler has shifted, and I want to amend some of my headcanons regarding his actions and decisions. This post is, as always, speculation borne from my observations and interpretations, which then of course influence my personal headcanons. So as always, please don't worry, you aren't obligated to agree with my thoughts!

I could write pages upon pages about just how overwhelmingly dire Rosaria's situation is at the start of the game, during Clive's flashback. There is so, so much going on, and so much that has led to the at-that-part-of-the-story current situation, and I definitely will tackle all of it at some point... But for now, I'll try and stay simpler, and just focus on, well, Elwin. Elwin and the type of ruler that he is, or strives to be.

He's a kindhearted, compassionate man, and that carries over into his role as a leader as well. At first, I'd taken to assuming that his sole focus was on Rosaria and its people. Now, I strongly disagree with myself on that. It's the opposite -- though his power in terms of rule only extends as far as the duchy's borders, I firmly believe that he does care about the other nations and their people. He is every bit a bleeding heart, to a point that it's detrimental to his own nation.

According to the Ultimania's timeline of events, the war with the Northern Territories officially kicked off while the situation regarding Kanver's push for independence was going on. I'll go into detail about that mess in that other post when I write it, but the reason I mention that is because it adds some perspective to what may have played a part in Elwin's handling of the north.

We know that it was Elwin himself who directly led the campaign against the Northern Territories. Rosaria was, at that time, engaged on two fronts, in two different conflicts, at two different locations entirely. The problem with this is that war is not a cheap endeavor. It requires money, supplies and resources, and of course soldiers. The longer a war lasts, the more of these things are required.

Now, take these necessities and double them, one for each of the two overlapping wars.

A nation only has so many of these needed resources at its disposal. The land can only provide so many crops at one time, there's only so much ore and crystals that can be mined or purchased or traded for, their coffers only have so much gil in them -- and in order to obtain more money, they need to part with resources for trade with the other nations. See how this can very quickly become a problem? It goes on like that in other veins, too, like the means to keep equipping their soldiers with armor and weapons, and even crystals. I could keep going on and on, but I'm pretty sure you get the point without me droning on with too many boring details.

Rosaria was faced with the precarious task of figuring out where, when, and how much resources should be allocated to which front at any given moment. On one hand, Rosaria is in an alliance with Dhalmekia, an agreement which binds them to the situation with Kanver, which means they can't exactly walk away under the explanation that they have more important matters to attend to. Not without jeopardizing future relations with Dhalmekia and Sanbreque, anyway. But the war with the Northern Territories is the more immediate threat, given that unlike the war for Kanver's independence, the prior one is taking place right there in their yard with their neighbors.

All of this is a long-winded way of saying that I speculate that the Northern Territories situation was the top priority, and given the immediate threat it posed to the duchy, it needed to be dealt with quickly and decisively.

Now, circling back to the subject of Elwin's compassionate leadership -- it's my personal belief, based on the conversations that go on during the Rosalith flashback of the game, that Elwin tries to only resort to war as a last ditch effort, or when the situation forces it in the name of defense.

I still don't agree with Elwin taking Jill to Rosaria. I'll probably never agree with it. But I think I have a better understanding now of why he might have done it, or at the very least a headcanon that I feel is more fitting to how I personally see his character. It may well have been to end the conflict as quickly, and with as minimal casualties on both sides, as possible and once and for all. It was an attempt at mercy, albeit an arguably misguided one, because the alternative to ensure that they would no longer attack Rosaria would have likely been something more extreme, such as forcing them to submit to Rosarian rule, or altogether wiping them off the map. Remember: this stirring of violence by the Northern Territories isn't a one-time occurrence. It's been an ongoing issue for centuries for Rosaria, up until that point.

But there's something else, too, that makes me believe in this opinion. When Elwin led the campaign into the Northern Territories to drive them back and fight them on their turf, Rosaria won that war. Elwin could have done anything, as the ruler of the victorious nation -- he could have killed Silvermane to leave their people in disarray and without a leader, he could have chosen to make an example out of the man and/or his troops to scare their people into compliance, he could have ground them under his heel, asserted dominance over them, and taken their land for Rosaria, all to force and maintain their submission as a means of eliminating them as a threat to his nation.

But he didn't do that. He didn't do any of that, actually.

There are a few words used in the summary of Elwin's victory against the Northern Territories, words that I feel are incredibly important. It specifically says that he pacified them. He didn't go there to dominate them or destroy them, he went there to push them back out of Rosarian territory after Silvermane and his soldiers had invaded, and to end their fighting against Rosaria once and for all. How he chose to go about it, no, I don't agree with. But once again, I understand what I believe he was trying to achieve. Unlike the other nations of Storm, the Northern Territories weren't a unified nation. They were a collection of small, individual nations, that started to fall apart after their Mothercrystal, Drake's Eye, died. When they invaded Rosaria at that time, they had dwindled into a series of tribes, whose aggressive nature had been amplified by desperation due to the Blight's spreading across their lands. The other noteworthy part of the summary of Elwin and Rosaria's victory against them, is the specific mention that Elwin unified them.

He didn't conquer them after their loss. He got them to come together as one collective peoples, rather than staying as fragmented tribes.

This is why I believe Elwin is an incredibly, and in fact entirely too compassionate leader. He doesn't just want what's best for his people, he wants to help others as well. Which isn't inherently a bad thing! But where it becomes an issue is with what we find out during that first flashback segment in Rosalith: Rosaria has been taking in refugees from the north, who are fleeing their homes due to the Blight's consumption of more and more of their land.

We find out from Elwin and Rodney themselves that the number of refugees continues to grow, and Rosaria can't keep up in terms of resources -- everything from food to shelter. Meanwhile, the Blight is spreading rapidly towards Rosarian soil, which means that the same fate befalling the Northern Territories is going to befall the duchy as well, if he doesn't do something now. There is no more time; there are no more options left, no alternative methods Elwin can employ to avoid war and, with it, taking Joshua to Phoenix Gate to gain guidance from their ancestors on how to proceed in terms of military strategy.

In his efforts to help others, he forgot the most important rule when it comes to saving people: secure yourself first, then assist others. As a result of his kind heart, he spread his own nation too thin, and put his own people in an even bleaker situation than what it otherwise would have been. (Not that the situation was anything but incredibly, incredibly dire. But if nothing else, having those resources that were provided for the refugees instead kept in reserve for Rosaria's people, and for trading with the other nations to obtain other resources that they need, would have perhaps bought them a little more time.)

[random--fanfics]

MHA Scourge Au

Little bit about Au I'm working on

Izuku was five when he was kidnapped by Stain. He had been at the park when his Friend/Bully Bakugou attacked another kid. Of course he jumped in the middle of it and ended up getting a burn on his leg. Both Bakugou and the kid he saved leave him there.

Seeing his potential Stain kidnaps him and spends the next ten years training him.

-Izuku has scars all over his body from these intense training sessions

-Sense he doesn't have a quirk Izuku was trained to master different types of wepons

-He is an extram nerd and has named one of his swords after Allmight

When Izuku is 15 he starts attacking fake heros or what 'he' (Stain) view as fake heros. However after learning that he had agreed to work with vilians Izuku turns on him save lida in the process. And as thanks for his good deed he is arrested. Having no where to go Izuku let's them take him away.

"So what's your quirk" The investor asked.

"I don't have one" Izuku shrugged.

"You expect me to believe that a quirkless kid was able to take down pro heros?" He demanded.

_____________________________________________

Impressed by his ability Nezu gets him released to UA's custody. Aziawa and Allmight met him. Both of them can see his potential and agree to have him placed in the hero course believing that he can be reformed

Izuku agreed on the condition that his identity would never be released to the public. He had made many enemies and people from his past would be in danger if word got out.

-they allow him to keep his custum on while his is in class

-He moves in with Aziawa until they can find something more permanent

______________________________________________

Izuku is brought into the hero course the one thing he always dreamed of. But this wasn't what he had pictured. Everyone knew his connection to stain and they didn't bother hiding it. The class room was a sea of fear and hate and Izuku wasn't a strong swimmer.

"Since you'll be training in the hero course we'll just use your hero name for right now" Aziawa looked over to the back of the class where Izuku was setting.

"You can call me Scrounge" He said looking up "after all that's what all you see me as right? A scrounge upon your school" all the other students shift their heads trying no to make eye contact. Expected Katsuki who glared daggers at him as if to say he agreed with the boys pervious statement.

______________________________________________

-Izuku spends most of his time planning and analyzing so he often mutters to himself which freaks everyone out expect Aziawa who has be woken up at four o'clock in the morning Izuku's muttering

-Izuku has two notebook hidden in his room one is an analysis on quirks and the other is labeled plan b it contains a list of all his class mates and teachers and how to take them down in case of emergency he has a page for everyone but Allmight as he couldn't never take down his hero

______________________________________________

Despite Aziawa efforts to get everyone to accept him the class still views Izuku as a monster causing him to turn bitter towards his classmates

"It doesn't matter how hard I try they'll aways see me as just another version of him" Izuku snarled look pushing Aziawa away.

"Izuku..." Aziawa frowned at the kid he had come to think of as a son.

"Maybe their right..."

______________________________________________

-Stains words start to sink in and Izuku almost let's the darkness in him win until a girl walks over to his disk and ask him to eat with her

______________________________________________

-Izuku has very conflicted feelings about Ochako since he was taught to hate heros that were in it for the money buts she's also the first one in class to want to get to know the real him and the first person to accept him

Allmight:"I see you and Miss Uraraka have been spending a lot of time together"

Izuku:"I want to take her out"

Allmight: laughs nervously "Like on a date or with a rifle?"

Izuku:"Both" (Note Izuku would never actually kill Uraraka)

_______________________________________________

Izuku's entire room is full of Allmight merch. It drives Aziawa nuts. He has started sneaking in Eraserhead merch to combat the yellow haired menace.

Allmight has no idea why Aziawa seems more crossed with him then usual

_______________________________________________

Izuku kind of blames Katsuki for what happen to him but refuse to admit it to himself so instead he just constantly pick fights with him

"And what's your opinion on the quirkless" Izuku demanded slamming his hand on Bakugou.

"What the heck do you want fallout boy?" Katsuki snarled.

"Actually I prefer Creed" Izuku smirked under his mask "And I said what do you think of the quirkless, herd you use to bully one"

"Shut up you don't know a _____ thing about me" Izuku grinned as Katsuki squirmed part of him know he was being a jerk but he choose to ignore that part.

_______________________________________________

Katsuki has no clue what's going on and it is driving him crazy

Kirishima:"What did you do to tick that guy of so much"

Katsuki:"I didn't do anything!"

Kirishima:"Oh come on Kakashi, I'm you best friend, I know that isn't true"

Katsuki:"Screw you"

_______________________________________________

-Uraraka is the first person to see him with out a mask on accident this leads to them having a pretty close bond even if he refuses to tell her his name

_______________________________________________

Due to so past trauma with doctors while living with stain Izuku refuses to go to recovery girl unless it's absolutely nessary. So most of the time Uraraka

"Why do you always have to pick a fight with him?" Uraraka sigh is she finished wrapping up his arm.

"I don't know" Izuku shrugged "His face just piss me off"

"That doesn't sound like you" She frowned. Deep down he knew what it was. He need to show Katsuki that he could hold his own with a quirk. He need to make him see that he wasn't just a deku but a hero. He needed Katsuki to accept him as an equal.

_______________________________________________

-Izuku has a strong belief that any sickness can be handled with a bottle of water handful of aspirin. To bad for him Aziawa doesn't share that belief as he drags his problem child to the nurse and refuse to leave until he knows Izuku has been taken care of.

"Guess I have a dad now" Izuku joked trying to break the tension in the nurse room.

"You better believe it" Aziawa responded dead serious.

_______________________________________________

-Izuku and Katsuki are both unknownly in the running for One for all

Aizawa:"So how are you coming along with that successor?"

Allmight:"I'm thing about Bakugou or maybe Young Midoriya"

Aizawa:"Are you insane?!"

Meanwhile

Shoto:"hmm Bakugou and Scourge are always messing with each other...and they both seem to get special treatment from Allmight"

Momo:"..."

Shoto:"I've got it they must be half brothers competing for their fathers love, that means Allmight is their dad"

Momo:"I don't think that's it at all"

[leophnyx]

This is a grumbling on the therian community and why we struggle to stay around it sometimes. We're not a therianthrope, we're a shifter, which means there will be discussion of p-shifting down below. Content warning for topics on "zoosexuality" and general shitty, abusive habits. Please do not read if you are sensitive to these things.

When I was younger, much younger, I was introduced to the therianthropy community. I would find the therian community via the internet, and slide into it via a couple of cyberpacks. These cyberpacks were open to all, and often focused on topics such as p-shifting, where we first learned the skill.

Anyway, on these sites we heard of another site for the therian community, called the Werelist. We felt curious and decided to check it out, since we were interested in serious and (what we thought was) therianthropy discussion. We thought we were therianthropes at the time, so we went there to learn more about what we experienced. Oh boy, was that a mistake.

The therianthropy community on Werelist was very hostile to anybody who had differing beliefs on therianthropy. If you didn't believe your therianthropy was pathological in nature, if you didn't agree with the medicalization and rationalization of therianthropy, you were looked down upon.

Therianthropes also seemed to have a problem with kids? Oh lord, they were constantly going on about how "mature" they were and how real therianthropes were mature, rational adults that didn't experience anything weird or supernatural in nature. If you didn't believe in therianthropy as they laid it out, you were immature and silly, no matter how you identified. You could be having fun with you therianthropy and people would always make it seem as if you would grow up and soon realize it's not all fun and games, as if therianthropy could only be serious if it were making your life miserable.

If you were a child you often had that used against you, no matter how you were behaving and whether it was truly irrational or not. They seemed to constantly have a stick up their butts about how all the immature kids were making them look bad, as if they were ever going to come out to their coworkers or friends about it and immediately get associated with p-shifters on an obscure part of the web. (Even if they did, it's not their fault, it's their friend's job to give them a chance to explain their beliefs and their views. No one person is a monolith for the entire community. ) I would end up getting told off by admins after putting a harmless wolf gif in my signature; I misread the forum rules and thought gifs were okay, but it really didn't warrant the "this is a place for adults to talk, not children to play" tagline thrown at me. Adults use gifs too.

As I roamed the site I saw a lot of things that made me uncomfortable. Constant doubt and anxiety around therianthropy made members antsy, and they'd often take out their rage for not being included on forum posts, derailing the whole thing with pedantry. A member might make a post defining mental shifting types for example, only for other members to get upset because they left out a detail or didn't appropriately get into the details they felt were important (often pertaining to them and their experiences).

Beliefs always had to be stated, even when they were bluntly obvious- if I say I reincarnated from another world, I would have to preface it with an "I believe" even when we all know I'm talking about my non-physical and unvalidated beliefs in the context of the post. If I had anything scientific I wanted to share, I had to be precise with my terminology even when it was obvious I wasn't stating a fact (I'm sorry, but we're not all scientists, and we're not practicing any form of science online. We can be a bit imprecise on a post about experiences) and this would eventually kill any motivation I had to share things with the community. P-shifters were much more accepting anyway, so I'd go there and share my posts there, and be accepted.

I found that most therians got angry when you said you're not a therianthrope, or didn't believe in therianthropy. I didn't want to be a part of the community, but I'd constantly be pressured into joining or interacting with therianthropes because "we're all animal-people and you fit the definition so you're included" despite my experiences being precisely shifter in nature. Eventually I kinda gave in, and lived a double life where I'd claim one thing around one group of people, and claim another around shifters. I was only ever a shifter, but I was forced to be around therianthropes because I couldn't be anything else.

Eventually I gave up, and stepped away from the community completely. A couple of things precipitated this change (including teachers encouraging me to prosper and do what I love, which isn't doing things for the community) but what really got me enflamed was what happened on the Werelist a couple of years back. I was on there, and I was an adult by that point so I was in the mature forum. I was in a debate about zoosexuality, my opinion being that nobody should be screwing real animals, but fantasy is okay. I did not target anybody with my opinion, my opinion should not have been controversial, but someone took issue with it and decided to debate me on whether animals could consent.

I was fine with the debate and it was going well, till another member decided to infantilize me (saying that I was just a kid and that the other member debating me should "go easy" on me; I was immediately taken aback and insulted since I was by all means a legal adult going to college, and not a child.) I ducked out of the debate soon after, as I was just so flabbergasted that someone would do that to me in a public forum (discuss me all you like in private, but don't insult me in full view of everyone) and because I wasn't willing to debate someone any further who had previously discussed using animals as "sexual relationship practice." Regardless, I am not a "kid" for not wanting to abuse animals, and I am not childish for thinking that sexually exploiting animals is wrong. THIS IS DISGUSTING BEHAVIOR.

I eventually stepped away for good when I realized the community would not change, and that I was a shifter through and through. I'm not a therian, and I shouldn't feel ashamed for not being one, or for being a physical shifter when there are so many people literally trying to justify their urge to fuck animals in front of me. Many of these same people who would claim animals could consent would also state that I and my shifter friends were horrible people, when we weren't hurting anybody or claiming to do any bad things (p-shifting is not illegal, but bestiality is illegal, and most therians on that forum claimed to have some urge to commit the deed.)

I could hang around therians, but the fact that many will look past people who commit crimes and pathologize those who aren't (I can't count how many times I've been treated as a mentally ill weirdo, even though I'm not distressed by being a shifter, do not experience dysphoria or other mental illnesses caused by it, and don't want to harm animals) makes it hard to hang around even individuals sometimes. If I can't identify your stance I get nervous, because there's a very real possibility that I could get hurt talking to you (there have been many therianthropes in the past that have made attempts to hurt or "take down" even harmless shifters in the community, what makes you think I'm safe from that mob behavior?)

I hate how p-shifting is seen as such a controversial opinion, because I don't want to harm anybody and I don't want to talk about therianthropes and otherkin, I just want to have fun and be myself. I don't even want to talk about zoophilia, I've been dragged into this community without my consent and I feel a need to inform others about what I've been through. I hope you all can make use of my experiences, because I don't want anybody else to go what I have gone through.

[risenhargrove]

[dacre montgomery, cis male, he/him] who’s that? oh it’s [billy hargrove]. i hear they’re [22] and are known as [the dirtbag] around [hawkins]. they’re known to be [charming & independent] and [competitive & unpredictable]. some people say they remind them of [the lingering smell of cigarette smoke long after the butt has been put out, bruises covering carved muscular abs, and a white lighter resting in a half empty marlboro pack]. they [do not] believe they died. 

𝐁𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐬

☆ 𝐍𝐚𝐦𝐞 ━ william hargrove ☆ 𝐍𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞 ━ billy ☆ 𝐀𝐠𝐞 ━ 22 ☆ 𝐁𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐝𝐚𝐲 ━ march 29th ☆ 𝐙𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐚�� ━ aries ☆ 𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 ━ cismale ☆ 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐬 ━ he/him ☆ 𝐒𝐞𝐱𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 ━ honestly who knows ☆ 𝐏𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐬 ━ charming & independent  ☆ 𝐍𝐞𝐠𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐬 ━ competitive & unpredictable

𝐏𝐡𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐃𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

☆ 𝐅𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐂𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦 ━ dacre montgomery ☆ 𝐇𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 ━ 5′11 ☆ 𝐁𝐮𝐢𝐥𝐝 ━ athletic ☆ 𝐇𝐚𝐢𝐫 𝐂𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐫 ━ dirty blond ☆ 𝐄𝐲𝐞 𝐂𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐫 ━ blue

— 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬

TW: ABUSE

☆ Billy has been abused for as long as he can remember at the hands of his father. At first it started off small: yelling, spanking a little harder, even a shove every now and then. When it began, Billy thought it was his fault, that he had done something to bring it upon himself. It only seemed to happen after he did something. That was until one night when Neil came home from a particularly bad day of work. Billy hadn’t done anything wrong. He hadn’t even had the chance to greet his father when Neil pushed Billy’s mother out of the way, causing her to hit her head hard against the wall, and made a b line for Billy. It was the first time he hit him anywhere but the butt. Billy was eight. It only got worse from there and the older that Billy got, the more he internalized it, turning the pain into anger that he could direct at other people. ☆ Billy loves to surf, not that there’s really anywhere for him to do it in Indiana, or Hawkins especially. Surfing is connected to one of his core memories, one of the best and only memories that he has left of his mother when life was still good. That was before she left though, before things got dark. Surfing makes him feel like he’s flying, as if for that brief moment he’s riding the wave, he’s invincible and not even his father can touch him. It reminds him of his mother and always puts a smile to his lips when he’s coming out of the water. ☆ Billy has never actually been in a stable or loving relationship. Growing up, he didn’t have any role models for that sort of thing, only really being exposed to his parent’s relationship before his mother left and his father got remarried to Susan Mayfield. Not that he would ever admit it, but he’s scared to actually commit and open up to anyone romantically because he thinks that they’ll just end up leaving him too. So instead, he plays the field, only sticking around long enough to get what he wants before he’s gone again and pretending like the previous person never existed. ☆ The last memory that Billy has is walking out the front door of his house towards his 1979 Chevrolet Camaro Z/28, ready to meet Karen Wheeler for private swimming lessons at the Motel 6 like they had agreed to that afternoon. Billy was usually indifferent towards the older women, watching as they gawked at him while he worked his lifeguarding shift at the Hawkins Community Pool, but Karen Wheeler had been different. Not only was she the hottest mom in all of Hawkins, I mean come on she was Nancy Wheeler’s mom, but there was something about her approach that was less direct and caught his attention. Private lessons were the least of his concerns that night, anticipating something else entirely to happen.

[backtohawkins]

WELCOME BACK TO HAWKINS, BILLY HARGROVE (dacre montgomery fc)

good luck and have a bitchin summer!

[DACRE MONTGOMERY, CIS MALE, HE/HIM] who’s that? oh it’s [BILLY HARGROVE]. i hear they’re [22] and are known as [THE DIRTBAG] around [HAWKINS]. they’re known to be [CHARMING & INDEPENDENT] and [COMPETITIVE & UNPREDICTABLE]. some people say they remind them of [THE LINGERING SCENT OF CIGARETTE SMOKE LONG AFTER THE BUTT HAS BEEN PUT OUT, BRUISES COVERING CARVED MUSCULAR ABS, AND A WHITE LIGHTER RESTING IN A HALF EMPTY MARLBORO PACK]. they [DO NOT] believe they died. [vix, 24, she/her, none, est]

TW: ABUSE

Billy has been abused for as long as he can remember at the hands of his father. At first it started off small: yelling, spanking a little harder, even a shove every now and then. When it began, Billy thought it was his fault, that he had done something to bring it upon himself. It only seemed to happen after he did something. That was until one night when Neil came home from a particularly bad day of work. Billy hadn’t done anything wrong. He hadn’t even had the chance to greet his father when Neil pushed Billy’s mother out of the way, causing her to hit her head hard against the wall, and made a b line for Billy. It was the first time he hit him anywhere but the butt. Billy was eight. It only got worse from there and the older that Billy got, the more he internalized it, turning the pain into anger that he could direct at other people. 

Billy loves to surf, not that there’s really anywhere for him to do it in Indiana, or Hawkins especially. Surfing is connected to one of his core memories, one of the best and only memories that he has left of his mother when life was still good. That was before she left though, before things got dark. Surfing makes him feel like he’s flying, as if for that brief moment he’s riding the wave, he’s invincible and not even his father can touch him. It reminds him of his mother and always puts a smile to his lips when he’s coming out of the water.

Billy has never actually been in a stable or loving relationship. Growing up, he didn’t have any role models for that sort of thing, only really being exposed to his parent’s relationship before his mother left and his father got remarried to Susan Mayfield. Not that he would ever admit it, but he’s scared to actually commit and open up to anyone romantically because he thinks that they’ll just end up leaving him too. So instead, he plays the field, only sticking around long enough to get what he wants before he’s gone again and pretending like the previous person never existed.

The last memory that Billy has is walking out the front door of his house towards his 1979 Chevrolet Camaro Z/28, ready to meet Karen Wheeler for private swimming lessons at the Motel 6 like they had agreed to that afternoon. Billy was usually indifferent towards the older women, watching as they gawked at him while he worked his lifeguarding shift at the Hawkins Community Pool, but Karen Wheeler had been different. Not only was she the hottest mom in all of Hawkins, I mean come on she was Nancy Wheeler’s mom, but there was something about her approach that was less direct and caught his attention. Private lessons were the least of his concerns that night, anticipating something else entirely to happen.

[arcxnumvitae]

“Fly on the wall” emi and Aur if he would

@cxrsedsouls || Send ‘fly on the wall’ for a Drabble of my muse talking to someone else about your muse  

He felt the presence before he even lay eyes on Adair. He could have sensed it even through the plants composing the palace beneath him if he so desired. That, after all, was part of what the king of Seelie could do. But moments of peace and quiet were few and far between, and atop his palace with the cool night air brushing his cheek, he would prefer to remain in his own head for now.

“It isn’t very secure up here, Your Majesty. Especially when you make it a point to sneak out of your chambers instead of sleeping.” The admonishment was gentle. Maybe others would have been too afraid to speak to him so frankly, but the king new Adair would never truly disrespect him. And he was correct after all.

From where he was seated on the edge of a wall, the man’s eyes drifted up to the night sky and a hand clutched his blanket tighter about him in an effort to stave off the wintery breeze. “I only wanted a few moments to look at the stars. This is the only opportunity I ever get anymore to see them.” There was no hiding the wistful tone in the king’s voice, nor the way his usually cool gaze softened as he took in the glimmering night sky. Adair’s voice was equally as soft.

“Because they remind you of her.” It wasn’t a question.

“They do,” he agreed. There wasn’t much point in trying to hide it. At least, no point in trying to hide it from Adair, not when he accompanied the king on his last visit to see her. Even if his guard had kept his distance, there were only so many ways one could excuse stealing away someone from a ball for a midnight horseback ride. 

“I’d always felt a connection to the stars, but now...” A sigh left the Seelie king. “She’s the only thing I can think of when I see them. It’s ironic, I can’t even comfort myself with the thought that she might be gazing upon the same night sky herself.” No, the silver streaks that smudged the sky and scattered about the starry landscape was enough of a reminder that the skies of Seelie, beautiful as they were, were wholly different from the one that graced the mortal world.

Adair’s voice spoke up once again. “Your Majesty, maybe I overstep, but why not go to her? You care deeply for her, yes?”

A long silence stretched outward from his statement. He nearly believed the king simply hadn’t heard him speak, but eventually the man let out a hollow laugh.

“Do you think Seelie would accept her as its queen? Do you think the gentry would abide having a vampire rule them? Even though fae blood runs true, do you think any children of ours would not become targets or outcasts? My people may ultimately have no say in who I court, but they are vicious in their cruelty nonetheless. She could handle their cruelty and their callousness, I know she could. She is one of the strongest people I know. But...” His eyes closed with a heavy sigh, a pained furrow creasing its way through his brow. “Who would willingly put someone they care about through hardship like that? Someone even now likely still plots for the deaths of the remaining Seelie royalty.” His mother’s quiet but suddenly shattering disappearance from his life. His father’s silver blood still staining his hands even in his dreams... “I accepted the burden of this crown but that does not mean I would wish the same for her.”

The rustle of clothing told him that Adair shifted, but still the guard remained in position standing guard behind him. “I imagine she already knows the burden of ruling, Your Majesty. Do you not think she at least deserves the option? Instead of you taking the choice entirely out of her hands?” An icy breeze accompanied the man’s words. The king shivered against the chill that snuck beneath the warm protection of his blanket. 

“What is even the point of this debate, Adair? She is engaged, presumably of her own choice. She may not love him but the man is kind to her. Wouldn’t it also be inconsiderate of me to insert myself into her own plans with no regard for nothing more than the sake of my feelings?” 

“I think,” another blow of air, this time a sharp gust, whistled through, “that you are simply being a bit of a coward.” The silence that followed was sharp, a clear challenge in the air from the usually easygoing and gentle guard. The king’s shoulders stiffened, seemingly moments from turning to face the other, but they quickly slumped once more into a defeated curl.

“Now you truly do overstep,” Aur murmured. But the words held no real heat behind them.