I love how on Tumblr, "media literacy" has become "Um, just because someone writes about this doesn't mean they're endorsing this. I hate all these media puritans ruining everything."
I'm sad to inform you that knowing when and whether an author is endorsing something, implying something, saying something, is also part of media literacy. Knowing when they are doing this and when they're not is part of media literacy. Assuming that no author has ever endorsed a bad thing is how you fall for proper gander. It's not media literacy to always assume that nobody ever has agreed with the morally reprehensible ideas in their work.
Sometimes, authors are endorsing something, and you need to be aware when that happens, and you also need to be aware when you're doing it as an author. All media isn't horny dubcon fanfic where you and the author know it's problematic IRL but you get off to it in the privacy of your brain. Sometimes very smart people can convince you of something that'll hurt others in the real world. Sometimes very dumb people will romanticize something without realizing they're doing it and you'll be caught up in it without realizing that you are.
Being aware of this is also media literacy. Being aware of the narrative tools used to affect your thinking is media literacy. Deciding on your own whether you agree with an author or not is media literacy. Enjoying characters doing bad things and allowing authors to create flawed or cruel characters for the sake of a story is perfectly fine, but it is not the same as being media literate. Being smug about how you never think an author has bad intentions tells me you're edgy, not that you're media literate. You can't use one rule to apply to all media. That's not how media literacy works. Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Aheem heem. Anyway.
they want to talk about mental illness and acceptance and how everyone is a little ocd it's cute and quirky and their "intrusive thoughts" are about cutting their hair off and you say yours are about taking a razorblade to your eye and they say ew can you not and everyone is a little adhd sometimes! except if you're late it's a personality flaw and it's because you are careless and cruel (and someone else with adhd mentions they can be on time, so why can't you?) and it's not an eating disorder if it's girl dinner! it's not mania if it's girl math! what do you mean you blew all of your savings on nonrefundable plane tickets for a plane you didn't even end up taking. what do you mean that you are afraid of eating. get over it. they roll their little lips up into a sneer. can you not, like, trauma dump?
they love it on them they like to wear pieces of your suffering like jewels so that it hangs off their tongue in rapiers. they are allowed to arm-chair diagnose and cherrypick their poisons but you can't ever miss too many showers because that's, like, "fuckken gross?" so anyone mean is a narcissist. so anyone with visual tics is clearly faking it and is so cringe. but they get to scream and hit customer service employees because well, i got overwhelmed.
you keep seeing these posts about how people pleasers are "inherently manipulative" and how it's totally unfair behavior. but you are a people pleaser, you have an ingrained fawn response. in the comments, you have typed and deleted the words just because it is technically true does not make it an empathetic or kind reading of the reaction about one million times. it is technically accurate, after all. you think of catholic guilt, how sometimes you feel bad when doing a good deed because the sense of pride you get from acting kind - that pride is a sin. the word "manipulation" is not without bias or stigma attached to it. many people with the fawn response are direct victims of someone who was malignantly manipulative. calling the victims manipulative too is an unfair and unkind reading of the situation. it would be better and more empathetic to say it is safety-seeking or connection-seeking behavior. yes, it can be toxic. no, in general it is not intended to be toxic. there is no reason to make mentally ill people feel worse for what we undergo.
you type why is everyone so quick to turn on someone showing clear signs of trauma but you already know the fucking answer, so what's the point of bothering. you kind of hate those this is what anxiety looks like! infographics because at this point you're so good at white-knuckling through a severe panic attack that people just think you're stoic. even people who know the situation sometimes comment you just don't seem depressed. and you're not a 9 year old white kid so there's no way you're on the spectrum, you're not obsessed with trains and you were never a good mathematician. okay then.
mental illness is trending. in 2012 tumblr said don't romanticize our symptoms but to be fair tiktok didn't exist yet. there's these series of videos where someone pretends to be "the most boring person on earth" and is just being a normal fucking person, which makes your skin crawl, because that probably means you are boring. your friend reads aloud a profile from tinder - no depressed bitches i fucking hate that mental illness crap. your father says that medication never actually works.
you still haven't told your grandmother that you're in therapy. despite everything (and the fact it's helping): you just don't want her to see you differently.
rare punishing r for going on the date with jj anyways
"you need to learn how to fuckin' listen, when- when you're told something-"
"rafe," you breathe back, exasperated at the exhausted dialogue. you two have had this conversation so many times. you love your best friend, maybe more than a friend should, but you're tired of being lectured by someone who regularly makes worse decisions than you going on a date with a pogue boy.
"no, m'serious." rafe moves over, getting closer to you, closing in the space in your bedroom. you don't know how he even knew you were home, since you hadn't talked to him since the club yesterday, before your date with jj.
the date had been fine. jj was nice, funny. you two got along well enough. if your friends weren't breathing down your neck about how much they don't like him, you think maybe you'd be more excited, more engaged, replying to his text immediately to plan the next day instead of letting him sit on delivered while rafe sits on your bed next to you.
"are y'listening to me? huh?" you blink up at him, snapped out of your daze. no, you're positive now, if rafe was supportive (then topper and kelce would be too, of course) then you'd feel better about the whole thing.
the truth was that if rafe didn't approve of the boy you wanted to date, you didn't feel like dating him. you wanted someone who would fit right in with your best friends, make himself comfortable in your group and get along. the sad reality was that no one like that existed, and rafe hadn't approved of a single one of your dates since you had first met him.
"sorry. what?"
"i said, you always do this shit."
"rafe, i don't feel like getting reprimanded like some kid right now-"
"no, that's just it. you are a fuckin' kid. you never listen to me, you fuckin' act out by going on dates with pogues-" he spits the word like there's nothing worse in the world you could do, maybe besides ignoring what he tells you to do.
"why should i listen to you?" you snap back, suddenly sick of the double standard. you'd never so much as questioned him when he had a new girl on his arm every week.
"why should you listen to me?" rafe repeats slowly, back at you. "i dunno, maybe because i know best for you. maybe because m'trying to take fuckin' care of you, watch out for you."
you groan, but rafe interrupts you.
"are you seein' him again?" you stare up at him. "answer me."
"no," you admit finally, bringing your knees to your chest and hugging them. "m'not."
"good." you don't look up, but rafe licks his lips. he sits back down next to you, swinging an arm around you. "m'right here. what else do you need, kid? hm?"
you roll your eyes.
"a best friend that doesn't act like my dad would be nice."
"yeah, well, tough shit. do not see him again. this is nice compared to what'll happen."
"rafe!" you protest, met to deaf ears.
"you think m'joking? try me. if i see you texting that pogue again i'll snap your phone in half." you sigh, but he still presses a wet kiss to your temple. "now c'mon. it's tee time."
Currently obsessed with the idea that the boys go to Time for love advice, since "he's married so he knows this stuff right?"
I mean they couldn't recognize a wedding ring??? And neither did he???
And time was saying this in his youth I mean cmon
Twilight: So ancestor. What would you do if like. Malon left to another world and never came back
Time: ... bro Malon called me fairy boy and then we were married like what
Hyrule: So uhh old man. How does one. Meet a girl.
Time: By speaking to her I guess? Or not, Malon did the talking for me
Hyrule: riiiiight...
Wild *no tact*: Hey so like... what if your redheaded wife who's name started with M died.
Time: what?!?!
Wild, undeterred: but like before she proposed.
Time: ...
Wild: and you don't remember if you would have said yes. What's your advice for dealing with that?
Time: ... vent to a fairy?
Warriors: hey old man
Time: no no no not this one asking me please
Warriors: how do I get women to stop coming after me. So I can ya know. Choose without war trying to force me into relationships
Time: I can safely say I've never had that problem captain
Wars: of course not *smirks*
Wars: ok but seriously how do I make them go away
Time: ... wear a wedding ring so they think you're taken, I've got a shiny extra
Time: no no why- they won't stop, I don't know how to do love!
Time: ok well at least I have legend. That kid would never ask for advice, I'll sit by him.
Legend: so old man.
Time, looking forward to a normal conversation: yeah?
Legend: hypothetically, what would you do if you found out Malon didn't exist.
Legend: And her whole world didn't, but it did, and now it doesn't
Time: ...Excuse me for a minute.
Time, writing a letter as fast as he can: MALON HOW DO I GIVE LOVE ADVICE THEY THINK IM WISE
Malon: lol
Happy Valentine's Day guys, have a headcanon :P
The boys go to Time for love advice and Time spouts whatever wise-sounding bs he can, before shoving them all on Malon for therapy when they visit the ranch
hoemygodddddddd it's happeningsjekjejr look at paul wesley our man on the inside are u joking is this a joke the face journey??????????? the look in the second to last one?????? hello???? hello?!?!??!!? can anyone even hear me rn
It's the end of the year and I'm feeling the need to give out some awards! We talk a lot about best show, best actors, best writing, best directing, blah blah but I gotta be honest, these are the categories that really spoke to me this year. In no particular order:
Best supporting garment: Porsche’s sweater, A Boss and A Babe
Did I create this entire list just to have an excuse to post about this sweater one more time? Maybe so.
Best performance despite a terrible wig: Daou, Love in Translation
This man managed to perform one of the hottest scenes of the year with that bowl cut monstrosity on his head. Respect must be paid.
Best new terminology: BGP, Bump Up Business
BUB gave us so many gifts, but I will always be most thankful for the business gay performance concept (BGP), a term that is highly relevant in discussions of the bl industry.
Best advice: "Unfuck it," Tien in La Pluie
It's not only the succinct phrasing, but also the delivery method.
Best ex who deserved better: Alan, Moonlight Chicken
Yes, I will be staying on the Alan apologist beat in 2024, thank you for asking.
Best unexpected needle drop: Wetter, The Eighth Sense
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The moment this show captured my full attention.
Best WTF ending: The End of the World With You
You can probably still hear my scream of "WHAT" echoing in the hills. (Actual ending not pictured in case y'all decide to watch).
Best gut punch line: "Have you been well? Without me?", Our Dating Sim
Sure Shin Gi Tae, Lee Wan deserved it, but did I??
Best adorable child: Tane, Our Dining Table
Need I say more??
Best weapon: sparkle murder dust, Khun Chai
Truly the MVP of this show. I can't find an actual gif of the dust in action (too violent to be depicted) so enjoy these pretty men instead.
Best great character trapped in a bad show: Boston, Only Friends
My beloved, I will seek vengeance in your name.
Best use of music to fuck me up: Plumeria, I Feel You Linger in the Air
youtube
Cocktail and Tee Bundit, you know what you did!
Best meal: Chicken curry and cheese naan, What Did You Eat Yesterday?
Yes, this category is kind of a cheat so I can mention WDYEY on this list. And what about it!
Best unhinged energy: Nawin, Laws of Attraction
He may not have succeeded at stealing back his man but he certainly stole the show.
Best bl horror: Grand Guignol
I just need to make sure all you jbl fans know that this movie exists and that Issei fucked Mr Unlucky!!! IYKYK.
Best character comeback: Phupha, Our Skyy 2
From boring stoic love interest to actually compelling and kinda funny leading man! See what a little flirting with Pat Jindapat can do for you?!
no, but really, we need to talk about the casual objectification that has become the fallback discourse of the internet: if you're pretty and dressed nicely, you're a slut. and if you're even vaguely outside of their body standard, you're fucking disgusting.
too-frequently, people position sex workers as being "the problem". they sneer you're addicted to pornography, you don't know what a real woman looks like. but real women are in pornography. the real bodies on display are not the issue here: the issue is that other people feel extremely confident when commenting on someone's physique.
2000's super-thin is slowly worming its way back into the public ideal. recently i saw someone get told to "go for a run", despite the fact she was on the thinner side of average. not that it would ever be appropriate to say that: but it's kind of like sticker shock when you see it. people think that is fat? holy shit. do they just have no idea about things?
but what are you going to do about it? that's the problem, right. because chances are - you're a normal person. we can say normalize carrying fat on your body, but we are not the billion-dollar diet industry. we are not the billion-dollar fashion industry. we are just, like. people. who are trying to make content on the internet, without being treated shittily.
as someone who has been on both sides of things: you are treated better when you are thin and pretty. this is statistically correct. i am not saying that you cannot be bullied for being thin; i'm saying there are objective institutional biases against certain bodytypes. there are videos of men and women who lost weight all saying: i now know for a fact exactly how much worse you're treated. in the comments, some asshole inevitably says something akin to you deserved to be dehumanized when you were fat.
which means that ... the easiest thing to do is be pretty and thin. it is the path of least resistance, because of course it is, because any time you post a picture of yourself without a thigh gap, someone immediately comments something like you need to try a diet.
the other half is also dehumanizing though, huh, just in a different way. when i put on makeup and nice clothes, i am told i slept my way to the top as a professional. do you know how many women in STEM have told me they purposefully dress to "unimpress" because they already struggle to be taken seriously and if they're ever considered pretty - it for some reason takes away from their authority.
so they make it seem like it's your fault. you, existing in a body - it's your fault! if you didn't want shitty comments, don't have a body. they position us against each other like chess pieces; vying for male attention we don't even need.
and i can be an authority on this unless you think i'm fat and unattractive. when i am pretty and thin, i'm an activist. when i am just a normal person who makes a good point: i am immediately dismissed. nobody fucking believes you if you're not seen as attractive. you literally lose value. you cease to exist.
but the whole time, it feels like - is anyone actually grounded the fuck in reality? the line of "pretty and thin" keeps shifting. nobody seems to understand what "a normal weight" even looks like, because it's not something that exists - you cannot tell a person's health by looking at their body. even if you think you could tell that, even if you're sure a person is dangerously overweight - people are not your dolls. they do not need to be dressed up or displayed properly to soothe your aesthetics. you aren't concerned for them, you're stealing their agency. you don't get to say if they're "allowed" to take pictures and post them on the internet - you don't get to tell them how to exist.
people hide behind "the obesity epidemic" without any actual qualifications. they crow things about "normalizing unhealthiness".
but it's bullshit. i have visible abs. there is a pair of parallel lines on my body, even when i'm relaxed; where my obliques meet my abdominal wall. i am proud of this because it means i'm strong, because i overcame an eating disorder only to be ripped as fuck. it is genetic and physical luck that i even get any definition, i'm pleased as punch.
but it does mean that my abdominal wall sticks out a little bit. the other day i posted a video of myself dancing, and, for a moment, my shirt slipped. you could see a little bit of my stomach. i was cartwheeling to the floor. moments before this, i'd had my foot over my head.
a guy slid into my DMs. a row of vomiting emojis prefaced: you should really lose some weight before you think about dancing.
i stared at it for a long time. there was a time when i would have been triggered by this, where it would have encouraged me to starve myself. i would have ignored the fact i'm flexible, agile, good at jumping: i would have lost the weight for a stranger's passing comment. i would have found myself and my body fucking disgusting.
and for what? to please what? because why? so that he can exist in this world without an unchallenged eyeball? what would my self-hatred even accomplish? usually i write paragraphs. obviously. on this particular occasion, in this body i've been at war with for ages: i just felt exhausted.
it shouldn't be even worth saying. it shouldn't be hard to explain. all of this emotional turmoil when he cannot even comprehend the most basic truth: i am not an object on display for him.