#what stuck with him was Penelope rejecting him

[jazillia007]

I can't stop thinking about how Penelope praised Colin's writing. And it was actually smut, personal smut.

But I think what makes it beautiful. Despite of the content, Penelope really loved his writing in itself. The man barely gets praised by anyone but her.

And to be praised by Penelope who is not only a avid reader but also writer, is the biggest praise you can get.

[norrizzandpia]

You Don’t Even Know What She Looks Like? (Spencer Reid x Reader)

Summary: Spencer’s girlfriend has always been mentioned. Never has the BAU team been shown a photo or given a small rundown of what she looks like. So, when Spencer announces that she’ll be visiting the office to bring him food on a late night, well, you can guess the chaos that ensues.

Warnings: none, very fluffy

Note: aww my first Spencer Reid fic! I hope you all like it <3

The BAU had only ever heard about Y/n. Never did Spencer show pictures of her or give descriptions on her appearance because he wanted to keep the majority of her to himself for as long as he could. Even though she had told him numerous times that showing them pictures and giving them more than the occasional chaotic story was completely fine by her, he never could bring himself to. That was until he started being away a lot more because of a continuous string of cases, making it harder for him to see her outside of the office. The first time she asked to bring him food when he was up late at the office doing paperwork, he declined, rambling about how he didn’t want to have to deal with all the screaming that would go on from the introduction of his girlfriend.

However, the second time she asked, he had had a hard case, one filled with innocent children and one that hurt him the most. As he sat in the chair of his desk, eyes staring at the wall as everyone around him scribbled down words onto paper, he knew he needed to see her. He would’ve left right then and there, but the stack of folders sitting to his left made him completely reject the efficiency of that idea. So, when her name popped up on his phone with a small plea to bring him food, knowing he hadn’t eaten as much as he should with the case, Spencer couldn’t say no.

”Guys,” He said, standing from his chair and turning so he could face the rest of the team.

Everyone’s eyes averted to him. Morgan leaning back in his chair, “What’s up, pretty boy?”

He twiddled his thumbs, “Don’t freak out over what I’m about to tell you, okay?”

At this, Emily and JJ perked up. Penelope, the woman passing by in the hall and overhearing his suspicious sentence, slid into the bullpen.

With everyone’s slow nodding, Spencer broke the news, “My girlfriend is coming in to bring me food.”

”WHAT?” Penelope shouted, completely disregarding his wish for them to be calm. She dropped the folder in her hands, not concerned that classified information lay beneath, and sprinted over to the tall man she knew as her friend.

She shook him, her hands on his shoulders, “SPENCER, ARE YOU MEANING TO TELL ME I’M ABOUT TO MEET YOUR GIRLFRIEND?!”

He giggled, “Yes,”

Morgan gave a glance to Rossi, who was standing against the railing and smirking, before standing from his own chair and making his way over to Penelope, prying her off Spencer, “Okay, babygirl, Spencer asked us to be calm about this.”

She turned to him, eyes widened, “Calm? No way will I be calm about this.”

”I’m with her on this one. Sorry.” Emily admitted, the woman standing next to JJ as the two joined the group.

Spencer rolled his eyes, “Seriously, guys. Don’t scare her away.”

Rossi cocked his head, “Scare her away? If you haven’t already after six months, I’m sure we won’t.”

Spencer frowned just as Penelope yelped, “Is that her?!”

Spencer turned his head to the door of the bullpen, seeing a blonde woman emerge from behind it. He shook his head with a laugh, “Penelope, no. That’s not her. You don’t even know what she looks like.”

Penelope stuck her tongue out at him just as JJ hollered, “That her?”

A random stranger passing by, Spencer shook his head once more.

Morgan joined in, “What about her?”

A man. Morgan pointed to a man. Spencer gave him a glance as Morgan giggled, never getting bored over a good teasing.

Emily tried to guess as well, “Hey! What about her?”

”No! Guys, I will tell you when she’s here.” Spencer said with a slight annoyance. His girlfriend had just texted him she would go to get his food. There was no way she was here yet.

The group got tired after a moment of pointing out random women and all fell back into their paperwork. After about ten minutes, Spencer stood from his desk.

Everyone in the BAU froze.

When he saw their stares, he laughed, “I’m just going to the bathroom. She’s not here yet, but if you stare at her like that when she comes, I swear to God she will run the other way.”

”Hey!” Emily exclaimed, throwing a crumpled up piece of paper at him as he pushed open the door and turned down the hallway.

There was silence for about three minutes seeing as Spencer wasn’t there, watching his mannerisms and determining if Y/n was close or not out the window with him gone.

A creek sounded throughout the floor as the door was pushed open. Y/n stood, with a white plastic bag in her hand, looking out at the people working at their desks. They completely missed the entrance. With no eyes on her, she moved to Spencer’s desk and placed the bag on top. Her eyes glazed over everyone before she cleared her throat, “Um, does anyone know where Spencer is?”

Morgan’s head snapped up as JJ and Emily stopped writing. Rossi’s door swung open and he stepped out forcefully, not graceful in the slightest. As if she was summoned, Penelope flew through the door of the BAU, almost tripping on her heel as she returned from her hibernation in her office.

With all eyes now on her, Y/n blushed slightly. Spencer had mentioned that everyone would be a bit overbearing, but she didn’t know even the smallest thing like their stares would be intimidating.

Penelope moved toward her first, looking at her as if she was an alien, “Are you Y/n?”

Y/n nodded and the entire group erupted into loud overlaps of coos and compliments. Spencer’s girlfriend stood in the midst of them all, being pulled into Penelope’s arms as the colorful woman hugged her tightly. JJ and Emily told her they loved the way she had styled her hair, asking how she had done it, and Morgan interrogated her on how Spencer had managed to “smooth talk” her. Rossi just nodded his head at her and extended his hand, murmuring his name and how nice it was to meet her.

Spencer was walking back from the bathroom, down the hall, when he heard the excited voices. He knew then and there what the situation was, and his feet began to pick up. He was practically running toward the BAU glass door and when he reached it, he yanked it open.

Everyone turned to him, his girlfriend’s face peeking out from behind them all and he immediately softened. The twinkle in her eye, the blush on her face, he could tell she appreciated finally being given the opportunity to meet his chosen family. Spencer wondered why he even waited to introduce her in the first place.

The man made long strides across the office, muscling through the small number of bodies before getting an arm’s length away from Y/n, pulling her into him by the waist.

He turned to everyone, smiling widely as his hand smoothed over her back lovingly, “This is Y/n, my girlfriend. Now, you can pick her out of a crowd.”

[weird-is-life]

Hiiii, I saw your post that you reopen your request. Can I please request Aaron Hotchner x reader where he found out that your seeing a guy in another department after he rejected you. It depends on you if you want a happy ending or not. Thank you so much, I hope you'll see this.

Ty for the request🥰! I changed it up a little to a accidental rejection🤭hope that's okay. Warnings: use of y/n, accidental rejection, swear words, jealous Aaron, happy ending(1.2k)

Aaron just randomly passes your office and notices you're not alone. There's a man leaning over your table, blatantly flirting with you, it's so obvious, that Aaron doesn't even need to hear it to know it's flirting. And seeing your shy smile at that makes it even worse.

He overhears a word 'date' and Aaron's face goes white. Some weird feeling raises in his chest, one, that he hasn't felt in a long, long time.

He can't look at it any longer, so he spins around on his heels and storms into his office. His usual frown deepened like 10 times.

Aaron is aggressively writing reports, slapping papers down onto the table and swearing at the 'stupid pens', that keep spilling under the pressure of his intense writing, the whole afternoon.

The team, of course, notices his sour mood, but they choose to simply let Aaron cool down, not wanting to be the ones under his deadly gaze.

It's almost evening, most of the people already left home, that somebody comes to check up on him. It's Penelope.

She nervously knocks on his door, " you can come in, Garcia." Aaron murmurs, not even looking up, from his paperwork.

"Thank you, sir," she steps awkwardly inside and stays quiet, trying to come up with the right words.

Aaron sighs and looks up at her, when he realises, she won't say anything if he doesn't encourage her, "what do you need, Penelope?"

She smiles at him sheepishly," sir, I just wanted to ask if-if you're okay?"

Aaron should have known, that that's why she's there.

But to answer her question? No, he doesn't really feel okay.  There's jealousy boiling in his chest. He likes you, like a lot and-and he'd thought, that the feelings were mutual. That you liked him too and if he'd asked you on a date, you'd say yes.

Aaron's been trying to gather the courage to ask you out for weeks now. And seeing you with another guy just makes him wanna either punch something or dissappear somewhere for a long, long time.

Maybe he should have seen it coming, you've avoided him this whole week and Aaron didn't want to press you for an answer why. So maybe the guy is the why.

Aaron sighs for a second time and mutters," I'm fine."

Penelope raises her eyebrows, she obviously doesn't believe him," are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure. You should head home, it's late," Aaron says and dives back into the paperwork, even if his mind is still on you. It has been the whole day.

"I will, sir, but you should go home soon, too," then she adds softly," and even if you are really fine....-I just want you to know, I'm here, always."

Aaron doesn't say anything in response, so Penelope wishes him a goodnight and turns to leave.

Something suddenly comes over Aaron and he stops Penelope as she nears the doorway," Penelope?"

"Yes, sir?"

Aaron hesitates, overthinking it," you're friends with y/n, right?"

Penelope's smile grows into a cheeky one, "best of friends, she's the best. I love her, why do you ask?"

Aaron runs his hand across his face," I just happened to pass by her office earlier and saw a guy there," Aaron hopes he won't regret asking her this in the future, " is-is she seeing him?"

Penelope, weirdly, glares at him, " and what if she is? Why do you care? You rejected her, sir, she's free to date anyone she wants to."

Aaron frowns so hard from the confusion, that his face might permanently get stuck that way from now on. What the hell is Penelope talking about? When did he reject you? Why would he even do that? That's impossible. He rakes his mind for an answer.

"What? Penelope, I didn't-" Aaron suddenly stops himself, remembering what she's talking about. He did it.

He did reject you. He's such a fucking idiot, he can't believe it. Last week, you and Aaron were just talking in the Bau's cafeteria. And out of nowhere, you asked him, all shy and nervous, if he wanted to grab lunch together. To Aaron's horror, he replied 'I don't have lunches, I don't have time for them' and he can remember your little, sad 'okay', and how you just quickly excused yourself and left.

He didn't fucking realise, you were asking him out. He was too distracted by your shy, pretty smile and also the current case they were working on, that he didn't catch on.

"Shit," Aaron curses, " I messed up, I gotta go." Aaron basically runs out of his office towards your, hoping you're still there. Penelope, on the other hand, stands there, smiling happily to herself.

To Aaron's luck, you are still there, packing your bag. Aaron knocks on your door to let you know he's there and let's himself in.

"Hi...-," you turn around with a smile, but it drops immediately after you see Aaron," Oh, h-hello, sir."

Aaron is a little hurt, that you are back to calling him 'sir' and not Aaron," hi, c-could we talk? Do you have a minute?"

You look uncertainly at him, but seeing him so desperate to talk, you nod a yes.

"Thank you," he says out of breath," first of all, I just want to say that I'm the biggest fucking idiot there is. I completely didn't realise that you were asking me out on a lunch, like a date. I was too distracted, but I'm not making excuses. I fucked up and I know that."

Aaron takes a big breath before he continues," I've been meaning to ask you out on a date myself for weeks now. And you did it before me and I completely missed it. I'm really sorry, y/n. I'm such an idiot. I wish I could go back in time and slap myself for it. Because I like you y/n, like a lot," Aaron confesses," but I know, I'm too late and that you're already seeing somebody else. I just....I just wanted you to know, how I feel."

You stand there with your eyes wide and your mouth a tiny bit open in shock. You thought, you were just imagining Aaron's feeling after he rejected you, but turns out you weren't. They are just as real as yours are.

You break a small smile," ask me."

Aaron looks baffled at you, "w-what?"

"You said, you've been meaning to ask me on a date. So....ask me."

"What? But what about the guy?"

"There's no guy, if you mean the guy from earlier, I rejected his invitation to a date. I'm not interested in him," the only guy you're interested in is Aaron," ask me?"

Aaron, finally, feels like he can breath normally after hearing your words and he even smiles at you, " y/n, would you like to go on a date with me? Only if you want to of course."

You bashfully look at him," I'd love to Aaron, but only if you make some time to have lunch with me."

Your cheeky smile is everything Aaron needs to know, that he's forgiven.

"I'll always make time for you, " Aaron reassures you, even if you both know that with the work he has, he can't promise that, but he does it anyway.

"Then it's settled," you smile at him happily and stand on your tiptoes to give him a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Call me later, yes?" and with that you're gone, before Aaron even has the time to recover from your soft lips on his cheek.

[sweetbuckybarnes]

I Don't Want to Live Forever

Pairings: Colin Bridgerton + Penelope Featherington

Summary: A little look into Colin's mind after Violet tells him of Penelope's pending engagement to Lord Debling.

Main Masterlist | Albums Masterlist | reputation album

Baby, baby, I feel crazy, up all night, all night and every day. Give me something, oh, but you say nothing, what is happening to me?

"I do hope you feel better," Violet tells her son (the one who was so much like his father). She gave him a gentle smile and left him to his thoughts. She hoped Colin could see what was in front of him, that the chance of a happy marriage with Penelope Featherington. Oh, how she hoped.

Colin watched his mother leave, turning in his spot and making his way up the stairs to the study Anthony had given him whilst he lived in Bridgerton House. He stared off into the distance, dreaming a little to himself.

As he daydreamed, he could picture himself and Penelope at the altar, with children of their own. Playing in the gardens of a somewhat familiar house in Bloomsbury. Two children with his dark hair, two children with Penelope auburn curls. They were perfect. It would be perfect...

But Penelope would be getting a proposal from Lord Debling tonight. A man who given the opportunity to travel would leave his wife behind to 'take care' of the property rather than taking her with him.

He knew he would take Penelope and show her the world, given the opportunity.

There wasn't an engagement ring on Pen's finger, currently. There was nothing stopping him. Well, unless she said 'no'. God, the idea of being rejected by his Pen sent a cold shock down his spine. The idea he could lose Penelope's friendship if he admitted his feelings, he never wanted to lose her friendship, it was the only thing keeping him around London for as long as he does.

I don't wanna live forever, 'cause I know I'll be living in vain. And I don't wanna fit wherever, I just wanna keep calling your name. Until you come back home.

Colin watched from the sidelines for not even a minute, Penelope danced with Debling. He couldn't see an engagement ring on her finger. He had to stop it! He couldn't allow Penelope to go forward with Debling if she didn't know how he feels.

Violet had set her glass down on a passing tray, looking over at Eloise (who was currently talking to Cressida - she longed for Penelope and Eloise to make up, how she missed her daughter's redheaded twin), then over at Francesca who was dancing with Lord Stirling, Earl of Kilmartin. Out of the corner of her eyes, she could see Colin emerging onto the dancefloor - only to interrupt the dance between Penelope and Lord Debling.

"Oh, Colin," Violet sighs, shaking her head. "What are you doing, darling?"

I'm sittin' eyes wide open, and I got one thing stuck in my mind. Wonderin' whether I dodged a bullet or just lost the love of my life. Oh! Baby, baby, I feel crazy. Up all night, and every day. I gave you somethin', but you gave me nothin'. What is happening to me?

After their dance, Colin watched from the sidelines as Penelope and Lord Debling talked. He watched as Lord Debling walked away. He watched as Penelope was talking to her mother.

He watched as Penelope nearly ran away from the ball in tears.

So, in that moment, he decided to chase after Penelope (chase after her carriage), just so he could talk to her.

Hopefully, get her to hear him out over the fact that he has feelings for her.

I just want to keep calling your name until you come back home.

[ackermansimper]

I ended up LOVING this one and wrote a lot more than I normally do for these song inspired write offs. I may or may not do a part two, depends if anyone wants it and if I have time later down the road

Feel better

Word count: 1.8k (Levi x reader)

Feel better - Penelope Scott

-Summary: Levi doesn't wanna feel better after the way he rejected you. He can't bring himself to let himself be after the tears that were shed from your eyes because of him

Levi leaned in his chair and looked up towards the ceiling with blank eyes. The way he rejected you.. He always knew you had feelings for him and truth be told, he felt the same way. He couldn't bring himself to allow a relationship within his life though. Not with everything going on. Having to be vulnerable and show that side of himself wouldn't exactly be easy for him either.

So despite you both being best friends and practically already lovers, he shot you down. He knew you both were close and had mutual feelings but he was willing to ruin your friendship if it meant not having such a weakness be displayed on him. He just couldn't have a relationship. For many reasons.

He had rejected you badly. He didn't let you down slowly in the slightest and he knew that. He didn't intend for it to be so bad that he'd see you cry for the first time but that's what ended up happening.

"Sorry if it's a bit late Levi" you had said with a small smile on your face. "It's fine. You know I wasn't planning on sleeping anyway" Levi responded rubbing his eye a bit. "Walk with me"

He did as instructed and after a bit you spoke again. "Levi. This might sound a bit abrupt but I'm not gonna beat around the bush." you began, slowing down before coming to a complete stop. "I like you. More than a friend. And if you feel the same way, I was thinking we could-" he suddenly interrupted you for one of the few times ever.

"No." was all he said. "No?" you repeated with a confused face before it turned into a pain-struck face. "Oh.. I see" you said with as much composure as you could. You were about to walk away before he spoke again.

"You're pitiful" he said. You didn't know what he was playing at and decided against finding out. You didn't turn to face him and debated whether just walking away now or not. "The most you'd ever be is a friend. And even that is a bit of a stretch." A bit of a stretch? So we aren't friends now?

"You're also a bit too much for me anyway and can act annoying. A relationship with you would be literal hell. There's no way in fuck that i'd date you and you know that. The fact you came and said all that is-"

"Levi. Shut the fuck up." You said before turning to face him. He was obviously taken aback by the tears wetting your cheeks, revealing why you had been so quiet before. The glare you were giving wasn't helping his surprise either

"Now that I think about it, there's no way in fuck that I'd date you! You're ignorant, cold, and don't even think about how the shit you say and do affect other people! You're just a big selfish asshole and this is why you'll always be lost in life!" you yelled out before turning away and speed walking somewhere. Anywhere. It didn't matter where. Just a place that Levi wasn't in and it'd be fine.

Levi couldn't get away from himself though. He was stuck with himself and that to him was the real hell. A relationship with you wouldn't even come close to it but he knew a relationship would him would just about be hell itself.

So whether he regrets it or not, he'll convince himself he doesn't. Because you deserve better and the world just isn't fit for that. He isn't fit for that. Everyone who loves him dies and he's already accepted that curse.

Later that day, when Levi's paperwork and reports were finally finished and he had no more work to do, he finally laid down on his bed in the shared room of his and Erwin's. He rarely visited it nor laid in the bed. It wasn't a common occurrence for him to be able to do this. As he relaxed his muscles into the soft fabric though, you entered his mind. An image of your normally courageous face with tears, and mad. And at no one but him.

He began to question the things you had yelled out at him in a fit of rage. You both hadn't talked since the incident and he didn't blame you but he never bothered to take into account what you had said. Maybe a bit of it was because he was occupied with work but most of it was just that he didn't wanna accept or think of what you had said.

He was ignorant? Cold? Selfish? Lost? You don't think you wanna be with him either? He doesn't think about how he hurts people? He doesn't. Maybe that's what makes him ignorant. Maybe that's what makes him cold. And selfish. And lost.

He furrowed his eyebrows at the feeling of his eyes watering. It wasn't everyday he cried. Nor was it often. But the more he thought about it, the more he regretted it. Someone loved him. Someone fucking loved him and he knows damn well he loved them too. Yet he rejected and broke her in the process. He was the reason behind her tears.

He was worth something to her yet threw it back in her face with a bunch of insults just to salt the wound. He had his chance but he blew it. He blew it so fucking bad that he can't even think of trying to fix it. Not that he really can though.

At this point he doesn't wanna feel better. The most he could do was think about all the things you'd do together. The times you both would sit shoulder to shoulder while sipping on tea, the times you both would have picnics on your rare free days, the times you both would talk in between training the cadets, the times you both always had a habit of buying something for each other while out. There was so much moments he could think about and he hated it. He hated thinking about the random nights he'd knock at your door after leaving his office and just sleep in your room with the excuse of "Mine and Erwin's room is too far, I'm shit tired." which he knew wasn't true. The way you both would cuddle together under the same sheets and he could wake up from a decent night of sleep.

He led you on. That's probably what you thought. That wasn't his intention though. He enjoyed the lover similar affection he got from you without the official title. Without it meant he didn't have to accept that he's becoming vulnerable. Without it meant that it wouldn't hurt if you died in the hands of a Titan. Or at least that's what he wanted to believe. He knew it didn't matter whether the title was on you both or not, if you died it'd hurt like hell. He loved you and he knew that. But now he's lost you and he knows that.

When he was around you he felt like he was worth something. He felt like he actually earned something. He felt like he had rights to everything when he was with you. Death, life, choice, and even love. He can be stubborn and stuck up though. So instead of listening to his heart, he listened to the distant part of his brain telling him not to do it. To end it before it got too far. He wanted to but he couldn't. And when you confessed that was the breaking point. The point where he had no choice and had to end things.

He can't imagine a love like this again. He doesn't want to. No one's gonna love him like you did. No one's gonna understand or even try to as hard as you did. No one can be like you or devote themselves to him the way you did. And for him to treat you that way...

He wants to rip himself apart. He wants to rip himself to shreds. He wants to hurt himself a million times over the way he hurt you. He wants to take revenge on himself as his final devotion to you. He wants to prove something, anything. But he can't.

It hurts worse than hell. The way he hurt you. The look on your face. The hatred in your voice. He hated the way it hurt. He hated the throbbing pain in his heart when he revisited the memories of the rejection. He hated that he had a heart, he wanted to tear it out his chest and throw it in a bush or something. He wanted to get rid of it and never have these feelings again.

It scared him how much he was afraid of losing you although he already had. He hated how he was such a train wreck and you were probably getting over it already. He didn't wanna get over it.

Cause someone loved him. You loved him. The girl he had gotten the closest to since he joined the survey corps and the girl who had always been there for him since the start. The girl who helped him through his friend's deaths and the girl who never down talked him because of where he came from. The girl he had gotten so comfortable with that he could simply fall asleep in her arms. The girl he knew for years yet could hurt in an instant. You were the girl. The girl who fucking loved him and had that love stomped on and destroyed.

In all his filthy life he never thought he'd find love like this. Yet here you were. And he turned it away. Not only that but he turned it away so harshly that he could never take it back. He fell for a girl he barely knew. And soon that girl he barely knew became the person he knew best and the person who knew him best.

He loved you. He loved you so much it hurt. There was no question about it. No I guess, no maybe, no perhaps. He knew. He always did.

But it didn't matter anymore. Because now you're a far distance from him. You're over there while he's over here. Left to sulk in his regrets and stubbornness.

He doesn't wanna feel better. He can't feel better. No one will ever love him like you did. No one will ever love him again. He doesn't wanna get over you, he can't. All he wants to do is go back to cuddling you in bed. He wants to feel better. But that better is only if you're there.

♥ Thank you for reading ♥

[doomed-prophetess]

How do you imagine Claude x Felix would look like?

I can only imagine Claude and Felix as toxic and one-sided. Or rather, I prefer to interpret their relationship that way. Claude was always his prince before he was his friend (in my opinion). I don't think Felix could ever perceive him as a potential romantic partner on his own. It wouldn't be real love, it would be a kind of idolatry.

If he'd have feelings for Claude, he would choose to love him silently, chastely, which even if that love was secretly reciprocated, would most likely result in Claude not revealing his own feelings because he would not want to be seen as a loser in love again. They would be stuck in a stalemate where each of them would believe their feelings were unrequited and they'd keep them secret from one another. Neither of them would be willing to make the first step. Felix because of his duty, Claude because of his pride. I can't imagine Felix doing anything other than punishing himself for his feelings if they'd ever went into the romantic/sexual direction. (if he believed they were unwanted on Claude's side)

It could also be possible that Claude at some point has enough and just takes what he wants. That he forces Felix more or less into a relationship and takes advantage of the fact that Felix can't say no and is so loyal that he would really do anything for Claude. That would mean that Felix doesn't think very highly of himself and sees himself only as a tool with the only task to serve Claude and fullfill his every need. That would include sexual pleasure too. I think the problem in their relationship is that Claude's personality is very dominating while Felix has a tendency to back down, can't set boundaries and has a hard time rejecting him because of their status difference. For him, Claude's wish would be his command.

I also wonder if this is why Felix has trouble recognizing Claude's tyrannical behavior and is unable to take counter measures against them, since his mother may have taught him from an early age that he has to put Claude above anything and he must learn to ignore his own needs when they come in conflict with Claude's will. Or it was the other way around, the early death of his mother prevented him from ever being taught to take his own wishes into consideration and realize that his master is not always in the right no matter how much he adores him.

I imagine that Claude's and Felix' relationship was a strong friendship at first (the novel describes them as bosom brothers I believe), perhaps I allow myself to imagine that Claude had an innocent puppy crush on him (or vica versa) because I hc that young Claude fell easily for people who showed him kindness and never acted on his feelings because he wasn't aware of them or didn't want to ruin their friendship and he was content with what he had, but when they got older Claude began to demand more and more from Felix the more he lost. Basically, Felix had to give him the love that Claude was meant to receive from his mother, Anastacius, Penelope, Diana and so on. Claude demanded an enormous amount of love and attention from a single person, since he himself gave up on forming an intimate bond with others after the negative experience he had with the people he let into his heart so easily. Realistically that one-sided relationship of giving and taking would eventually end up being very draining on Felix and wear him down. But Felix wouldn't be able to recover from it and put space between them because it would just trigger Claude's abandonment issues. He'd get even more possessive and would view any positive relationship Felix might form with others as a threat that needs to be removed. I think young Claude would have been anxious that they'd grow apart and wouldn't like the idea of Felix making experiences that he doesn't/meeting people that he doesn't know/going to places that are foreign to him for a longer time. And that's why they are almost always together. I just can't see it ending well. For manhwa Felix who's entire being revolves around making Claude happy perhaps, but not for a Felix who would have acted like an actual person. Claude values Felix the most but at the same time he has no problems to insult him casually and canonically tell him to shut up or else he "kills him" for protesting against something immoral.

I also like to imagine that there is an element of self projection to their relationship. My headcanon is that just like Claude, Felix was an illegitimate child of a commoner (his mother was a maid) and a noble (his father was the duke). Both of them lost their mothers when they were young and were raised together. Claude might have difficulties understanding that Felix doesn't want the same things as him just because they were raised the same and had similar experiences and share the trauma of losing a parent. He might decide over Felix' head matters that concern him without consulting him first and he'd think Felix would agree with him too and then show his surprise/anger when Felix isn't happy with the outcome.

There could be some mild jealousy that Felix has a family while he doesn't and attemps to put himself between Felix and his biological family. Felix and Claude were raised together which could make him view any biological sibling that Felix might have as a rival to Felix' love. Claude's negative attitude towards his own family could sour Felix' possible relationship with his brother or sister that he didn't grew up with since he spend his youth in the palace as Claude's companion. Claude would be like "blood brothers don't mean anything because they can betray you unlike sworn brothers who have chosen each other. Our bond transcends family I want you to choose always me just like I have chosen you." Felix seeing Claude's words confirmed when Anastacius tries to kill Claude despite them having once been close to each other would make him aware that getting along with your legitimate sibling means nothing once you have become threat to their position by simply being better or more likeable than them. This experience might cause him to be more mindful of his words and actions around his siblings and the duke which would kind of eliminate the possibility of a fully equal and honest relationship.

Basically I can only imagine Claude x Felix just like in the hypothetical Claude x Diana x Felix AU I've talked about once. It starts out sweet and innocent then turns disfunctionally functional and then when someone else enters the stage who could "steal" Felix away it turns into something grotesque and violating.

I also can't see Claude and Felix doing cliche couple activities like cuddling or going on picnic dates or boat trips. For Claude intimacy would be murdering their enemies/ pushing Felix' moral bounderies/ making him sacrifice things for him/ making him vow his eternal loyality to him/ showing each others worst side to the other and still being loved. It doesn't necessarily have to include sex, although I like to headcanon that they fucked after Felix committed the massacre that earned him the name Knight of Crimson Blood, and they totally had a few "in another lifetime" moments during the dynastic revolution. I hc that Claude sometimes misses the time when their mothers died and their codependency peaked. The time when they were fighting against Anastacius' troops and he didn't have to think, he could just kill people to heart's content and it was just him and Felix against the world. Back then Felix didn't pretend to be any better and tried to get him to stop.

[darcyfangirlsfrequently]

I Met You At the End of the World - chapter three: The World Finds Ways to Sting You... and then One Day Decides to Bring You Something to Believe In

Chapter summary: Luke dwells on his newly-discovered feelings for Penelope amid a case about medical experimentation, the two become closer, and a major break is made in the case of the hitmen hunting Garcia.

Chapter word count: 5527

Total word count: 16,622

Songs referenced: "Something to Believe In" by Jeremy Jordan and Kara Lindsay, and "It's Nice to Have a Friend" by Taylor Swift

Can also be read here on Ao3

“I’m in,” Penelope declared, a smile on her face as she dropped a purple fluffy pen to the center of the table where she and Luke were playing poker that evening after work. Something had shifted between the two of them the night before when they’d had dinner, but she didn’t know what. All she knew was that she enjoyed spending time with him, and, ever the optimist, she was extraordinarily glad that this terrible situation had brought such a wonderful friend into her life. In times like these, it’s nice to have a friend. 

Luke, on the other hand, knew exactly what had shifted between them the night before. Or, at least, what had shifted between them from his point of view. However, he had elected not to tell anyone about his newly discovered feelings. Not any of their friends, and certainly not Penelope. It was neither the place nor time for any of that, and, the more he thought about it, Luke felt slightly guilty about his feelings. He was here to protect Penelope, not fall for her. Besides, he’d be leaving soon enough, and he was sure those feelings would fade as soon as he no longer saw her every day. Besides, he didn’t want to make things awkward when she inevitably rejected him and they still had to work together. Penelope was already in the middle of a really terrible situation, and it would be incredibly insensitive of him to try to pursue anything with her. Besides, Morgan would probably be none too pleased with him, considering both her current circumstances and the fact that she was like family to him. Luke had decided that being her friend was all he could ask for, and friends was more than enough for him, and definitely better for her. He knew that in a situation like the one she was currently experiencing, it’s nice to have a friend. So, he decided that he’d make it his personal mission to make her smile at least once a day. Today, that was being done through poker, thanks to a deck of cards he’d brought from home, and her little knick knacks that she’d volunteered as her side of the “pot,” not that Luke would keep them should he win, knowing they were her prized possessions. Besides, he wouldn’t need to. Her smile at playing their game would be enough of a prize for him. God did he sound sappy. He knew it, he just couldn’t find it within himself to care. He was just throwing in whatever he had on him that could be deemed of value, but again, it was all for show. 

“Eh, I think you’re bluffing,” Luke replied. “So, I will see your fuzzy pen, and I will raise you…” he paused for a moment, rifling through his pockets, “my ten-stamps-for-a-free-hot-dog card for the hot dog stand down the road from my place.”

“I don’t understand why we’re betting,” Penelope laughed. “I don’t eat meat!”

“Well A,” Luke said. “I have no use for all your fuzzy pens, so we’re even, and B, poker is no fun unless you have something on the line.”

“Fine,” Penelope conceded. “Give me three cards.

Luke did as she asked, and checked his own hand. “Yeah, I’m good.”

Penelope groaned when she looked at her new cards. “What? Really?”

Luke tried to swallow his laugh. “You have heard the expression ‘a poker face’ before, right?”

Penelope frowned down at her cards, then up at him, then her frown morphed into a smile as she stuck her tongue out at him. “You have heard it’s rude to make fun of people before, right?”

Luke threw his hands up in the air in mock surrender. “I am not making fun!”

“I know, I know, I’m just teasing.”

Luke opened his mouth to make a comment, but she cut him off with the point of a finger.

“But! Before you say ‘I thought it was rude to make fun,’ teasing and making fun are not the same thing.”

Luke laughed again. “Alright, alright, look, whatever you say.”

She smiled back at him, but her smile slowly drifted away, and he noticed.

“Hey, are you okay?”

She only shrugged in response. 

He reached his hand across the table to rest it on hers. “This won’t last forever, Penelope."

“It feels like it will. I’m scared. There are people out there who want to hurt me, I’m scared I’m gonna be stuck in here because there are people that want to hurt me…”

“Hey, that’s why I’m here, okay?” Luke assured her. “To help make sure that those people out there who want to hurt you never get the chance to.”

She nodded, and then her phone rang. Picking it up, she sighed. “It’s Hotch. We have a case.”

She began packing up their things, and he stood up with her and placed his hand on her shoulder. “Listen,” he said. “We’re going to take these guys down. In the meantime, you just have to stay strong. Okay?”

She nodded. “Okay.” She leaned in and hugged him. “Thank you.”

He leaned his head down to her shoulder, the way he always did when he hugged someone. “Any time.”

***

Penelope stood at the front of the Round Table Room, the presentation ready on the screen behind her. She clicked a button on her remote, zooming in on the location of this particular case. “St. Augustine, Florida, two bodies were found early this evening in a remote wooded area just west of the city. Neither have been identified yet.”

Something about the pictures that popped up on the screen caught Tara’s attention. “This woman’s complexion…”

“She was exsanguinated,” Penelope replied, explaining why the woman was so pale. “Which is a really fun word to say, but I didn’t know its really terrible meaning until I started working here.”

Luke had to duck his head down to look at his files to hide his smile. God, she was adorable. 

“Odd that only the female victim had her blood removed,” Rossi said. 

“Well the male victim might have been collateral damage,” JJ suggested. “Or a witness that needed to be silenced.”

“I mean it is the kind of message that rival drug gangs will send to each other,” Luke pointed out, having recovered from his little moment and trying to make sure no one noticed. Trying to keep a secret from profilers could be hard, but he was banking on the facts that he’d been undercover and the team didn’t know him well enough to know his tells to help him keep the secret. He could only hope then that he didn’t slip up around Morgan, the only person who would definitely be able to pick up on it. “The Curiel syndicate recently set up shop in Florida.”

“Except it looks like these two were meant to vanish without anyone the wiser,” Rossi countered. “How is that a message?”

“Well cartels have also been known to use murder as a form of voodoo,” Morgan replied. “In 1989, a University of Texas student was murdered by a satanic gang while on Spring Break.”

“Well my gut says it has nothing to do with drugs,” JJ stated. “More like straight-out vampirism or someone with a blood fetish.”

Hotch was already standing and putting his files in his briefcase. “It’s late, and we need to hit the ground running. Wheels up in 30.” 

After a quick call to his sitter to tell her he needed her to take Roxy for at least the next night, Luke and the others were right behind him on their way to the airstrip.

*** 

Once on the jet and at cruising altitude so Penelope could call in, the team continued to discuss the case. 

“The coroner attributes the lacerations on the bodies to animal bites,” Morgan said as he flipped through the file. “Apparently there’s a lot of raccoons in the area.”

JJ sighed. “Maybe so, but the media’s going all-in with Satanic Mutilation.”

Hotch considered this. “It’s happened before. The West Memphis Three case showed how animal activity on a corpse could be mistaken for ritualized torture.”

“After the first bite, the insect infestation expands and distorts the open wound,” Rossi added.

“Okay,” Penelope cut in. “Here’s my finger, here’s the mute button. Are you guys done talking about critter damage?”

Luke smiled at her comment, knowing the animal lover in her was probably none too pleased to be hearing about all the disgusting things an animal could do to a dead body, and finding her reaction endearing.

“You can put your finger down, Baby Girl,” Morgan assured her. “We’re done.”

“Thank you. And JJ’s right, local news and radio outlets are going wild with this as a blood-worshipping cult murder.” She paused for a moment, then continued. “Hey, new information. Both of those bodies have just been identified. Cheyenne Pravato, 23, and George Henning, 71.”

“Any connection?” Hotch asked.

Luke would be surprised if there was no connection, since the age and sex difference meant that they couldn’t both be surrogates, at least not of the same person.

“My level one search says no, my level two through twenty await. Cheyenne was a waitress that is currently unemployed, Henning was a retired steelworker from Pennsylvania, lived in Florida for a few years. They both went missing three days ago.”

“Three days?” Tara repeated in shock. “The coroner estimated the time of death as less than twenty-four hours from the time of discovery.”

“Means the unsub had the vics for two whole days before killing them,” Luke stated. “So he almost definitely has some kind of secondary location where he holds and kills them before dumping their bodies in the woods.”

“Preliminary indicators show no sign of torture or sexual assault,” JJ said. “What is he doing with them?”

Hotch took the reigns then. “Dave, you find out what you can about Cheyenne from friends and family. Morgan, you do the same for Henning. Lewis and Alvez, you go to the M.E., and JJ, I need you to reign in the media. Hysteria’s growing and we need to contain it.”

***

Once Luke and Tara arrived at the M.E.’s office, they were greeted by a Dr. Gaylen who was quick to get started.

“I’m still waiting on the full tox screen from the male victim,” he informed them. 

“We think they may have been held for up to two days,” Luke said. “Were they fed?”

“Stomach contents were empty, but nutrition and hydration levels were normal. My guess is they were both fed through an IV. I did find one curiosity.” Dr. Gaylen pulled back the sheet over George to reveal his legs.

“It looks like another animal bite,” Tara remarked.

“Not under magnification,” he responded. “It’s actually a surgically precise triangle.”

Tara and Luke exchanged a look and examined the mark closer. A curiosity indeed.

Dr. Gaylen’s phone rang then, and he went to answer it. “Dr. Gaylen… You’re positive of that?” He hung up the phone and returned to the agents. “The tox screen and DNA tests on George Henning just came back. Are you ready for this? Most of the blood in his body isn’t his. It’s Cheyenne’s.”

Luke’s eyebrows shot up his forehead. It was what?

***

The two returned to the police precinct the team was working out of, and relayed this new discovery to them.

“The blood drained from Cheyenne was put into George Henning?” Morgan repeated, disgusted. 

“I agree that that is strange,” Tara said. “And a triangle was cut out from his calf muscle.”

“Dear Diary,” Rossi said. “Just when I thought I heard it all…”

“And there’s still something in the toxicology screen the M.E. can’t identify,” Hotch said.

“Yeah,” Luke confirmed. “We’re hoping we’re going to find out something more in the next few hours.”

JJ walked into the room then, back from meeting with the media outlets covering the story. “So, it took a little arm-wrestling, but the media finally saw the wisdom in toning down the whole demon worship angle.”

Luke knew she was talking metaphorically about arm-wrestling, but he had no doubt from what he’d seen of her in the field that she could most likely absolutely destroy practically anyone in an actual arm-wrestling contest. He wondered if he should challenge her to one one of these days. 

“Don’t take a victory lap just yet,” Rossi told her, handing her a file. 

She examined the paper he had given her and winced. “You’re kidding.”

“I’m just trying to work out the whole calf muscle business,” Tara said. 

“Triangles are big in Illuminati symbolism,” Rossi pointed out.

Morgan considered that. “This is bending back toward cult behavior.”

“What did you find out about George Henning?” Hotch asked him. 

“According to the neighbors, the guy was a shut-in. No friends or family, a lot of health problems. Hypertension, Parkinson’s.”

Rossi’s brows furrowed. “Cheyenne was the opposite. Vegan into New Age lifestyles. Never met a harmonic convergence she didn’t want to converge on.”

Hm. Luke thought to himself. She sounds a bit like Penelope. “I get it,” he said. “With George, he was a recluse, but how did nobody notice Cheyenne missing for three days?”

“Her friends said she was flighty,” Rossi explained. “It was not unusual for her to take off without notice for a week or two.”

“This unsub did his homework,” Morgan stated. “He knew that both victims could go missing without any alarms going off.”

“Transfusions and sustained IV feeding take skill, planning, and access to materials,” Hotch remarked. “And, crude as it was, the replacing of the old blood with new is dialysis. What if the triangle isn’t a symbol but a tissue sample? Could this be medical experimentation?”

Tara agreed with him immediately. “Yeah, I mean, you’ve got a youthful, healthy host in Cheyenne, and a sick test subject in George.”

“If the new missing girl’s his next victim, the unsub could be getting ready to try again,” JJ said.

Rossi nodded. “And his experiment takes two to tango. If Andrea mirrors Cheyenne…”

Luke picked up Rossi’s train of thought. “Then who mirrors George? He’s not done yet, there’s another victim coming.”

There hadn’t been any other missing persons reports, so they decided to call Penelope and see if they could find anything that might help their medical experimentation angle.

“Sir, yes sir?” Penelope said as she answered.

“Garcia I need you to do a search of doctors and medical professionals in the region, and see what kind of red flags pop up,” Hotch instructed.

“But of course. Carmine, scarlet, cherry, crimson, maroon? What shade of red are we looking for?”

Luke was unequivocally not thinking about all the different shades of red lipstick he’d seen her wear in the time he had known her. Definitely not.

“Ethics violations, improper protocol.”

“This person may have washed out of medical school or gotten in trouble with the licensing board for unorthodox practices,” JJ added. 

“That’s a deep shade,” Penelope said. “I’ll hit you back when I have something.”

***

About an hour later, Penelope used the tip of one of her fuzzy pens to press Hotch’s speed dial buttons. 

“What’ve you got, Garcia?”

“Nothing on my crimson flag doctor search,” she told him regretfully, “but I did learn about something with a super cool name. The Mad Scientist’s Club.”

“What’s that?” Luke asked from the other side of the line.

Penelope smiled at her new friend’s voice. “They’re a student group from the Florida College of Medicine in Jacksonville. Before they disbanded, they used to get together and talk about experimental ways to cure disease.”

“Do you have the names of the people in this club?” JJ asked her. 

“Eh,” Penelope replied. “Kinda, sorta, not really. They were totally informal. Here’s the part that made me sit up straight: they used to meet at a local cemetery.”

“Let me guess,” JJ said. “The same cemetery where Andrea Gambrell disappeared.”

Penelope nodded enthusiastically, even though JJ couldn’t see her. “Yeah! The very one!” 

“Alright,” Hotch said. “Keep working on the names, and see if you can find out why the club was disbanded.”

“Okay,” Penelope replied, hanging up the call and getting straight to work.

***

Not long after that call, Tara got one from the M.E., and she put it on speaker so Luke, who was with her, could hear. “Agents Lewis and Alvez,” she said as she answered. 

“Yes, Agents,” Dr. Gaylen said. “I’ve got the full tox screen on George Henning. There were massive amounts of Levodopa in his system.”

Tara seemed thrown by this. “The Parkinson’s drug?”

“Correct,” Dr. Gaylen confirmed.

Tara and Luke exchanged a look. That was strange.

“Okay but his blood was replaced with Cheyenne’s,” Tara stated. “So does that mean the Levodopa was introduced to his system after the transfusion?”

“Yes ma’am. And we got the results from the other DNA samples and the surprises keep coming. Found traces of mesoglea and testudinata keratin.”

Luke’s brows furrowed in confusion. Not being a scientist or a doctor, he had never heard these words before. “Which are?”

“Jellyfish and turtle,” Dr. Gaylen told him. “George Henning had animal DNA in his system.”

Tara and Luke exchanged another look, this time one of pure shock. He had what?

***

The two had raced back from their coffee run to tell the team what the M.E. had told them, and Hotch called Penelope to update her. “Garcia’s tracking recent aquarium and exotic fish sales in the area,” he told them once he got off the phone with her. 

“Aquarium sales in Florida, that’s like tracking snow shovel sales in Alaska,” Rossi commented.

“But jellyfish have unique habitat and dietary needs, so hopefully that’ll narrow it down a little,” Hotch replied.

A police officer entered the room then. “A body’s just been found. Officer on the scene thinks it might be the work of our guy.”

***

JJ and Rossi were dispatched to the scene, and when they were back it was time to deliver the profile. 

As was often the case, Hotch started off. “We believe we’re looking for a male between the ages of twenty-five and thirty-five. He may have had some medical training, and he’s able to obtain large quantities of controlled pharmaceuticals.”

“This guy is working off the legal and ethical grid,” Luke said. “And he’s doing highly dangerous medical experimentation.”

Tara picked up the thread then. “We believe he’s searching for a cure for degenerative neurological diseases, but we don’t know why.”

“It could be personal,” JJ offered. “Either he or a loved one suffers from a disease and it’s a way to leapfrog conventional research in an attempt to find the cure.”

“Or it might not be personal at all,” Morgan told the officers. “This could be the unsub playing God, assuming the told of savior and rescuer of those in need.”

“Another motive is old-fashioned greed,” Rossi said. “Financial rewards for medical breakthroughs are substantial. 

“Whatever the case,” Hotch continued. “Two divergent methodologies are at work in this unsub.”

Morgan nodded. “On the one hand, he does show signs of logic and reason. The scientific method of trial and error.”

“On the other hand,” Luke said, “this person injected animal DNA into George Henning’s body revealing an irrational, almost fantastical approach to achieving these medical goals.”

“And this dichotomy might be present in his everyday life,” Hotch stated. “He might appear charming and trustworthy, which allows him to abduct his victims with little or no difficulty.”

“But the other half of his Jekyll-and-Hyde personality would clash with authority figures,” JJ remarked. “We believe that he had a conflict with a medical establishment in the past.”

“We have reason to believe that the most recent victim, Andrea Gambrell, is still alive,” Morgan informed the officers. “The younger person is needed alive to provide healthy blood.”

“But a new sick subject to receive that blood will almost certainly be sought out,” Luke added.

Rossi spoke again then. “Post-mortem violence on the most recent victim is a strong indicator that the killer is losing control.”

“This increased volatility is cause for concern,” Hotch said. “If there are two voices in his head, the violent one is taking over.”

***

Eventually, Penelope was able to find one member of the Mad Scientists club, and Tara was sent to interview her. She was able to give Tara a tentative first name, either Richard or Robert, who in turn had Penelope run a search for that, along with her search of zoo and aquarium staff in the area who might have had access to the animals the unsub was using, as per Hotch’s direction. The following morning, a doctor was killed in a nearby hospital, to which JJ and Rossi were sent out. They came back having found out that she was a neurologist and the unsub was likely getting his extra supply of drugs from her. They needed to find out if she was the doctor of George Henning or Harold McDermott, the recent victim, as well as look into any of her current patients. In all likelihood, one of them would be next. In the meantime, Penelope had Tara’s search results ready for them.

“Well,” Tara said, flipping through the pages in her file. “Garcia went through every medical student in the north Florida area with the name of Richard or Robert, and I gotta tell you guys, it’s a long list.”

“So which one is our magic man?” JJ asked.

“Well, hey,” Luke said, holding his hand out to Tara. “Many hands makes light work, pass me some.” 

As she did, Tara noticed Rossi fidgeting with his pen, a strange look on his face. “What’s up, Rossi?”

“They identified the bird DNA in George Henning as coming from a scarlet macaw.”

JJ nodded. “Mhmm. And?”

“It’s got me thinking about Turritopsis dohrnii.”

Luke looked up from the papers to the older man. “Turri… what?”

“It’s called the immortal jellyfish,” Rossi explained. “Endlessly recycles its own cells through a process called transdifferentiation, a kind of lineage reprogramming.”

“Oh my goodness,” JJ joked, drawing out each word for emphasis. “Dr. Spencer Reid, master of disguise.”

Luke and Tara laughed at that. Luke had yet to meet the famed “Boy Wonder,” as Penelope called him, but the stories he had heard from both her and Morgan were enough to assure him that JJ’s remark had been bang-on. Rossi’s little spiel was exactly something Reid would say.

“No disguise,” Rossi replied. “I called the kid last night.”

The group laughed harder at that. 

“But think about it,” Rossi continued. “Jellyfish, turtles, sea urchin, and now, scarlet macaw. What do they all have in common?”

“A long lifespan,” Tara answered.

“Exactly,” Rossi said. “Longer than a human’s.”

“So it means the unsub may not be focused on a specific disease but rather, longevity?” Luke asked.

Rossi nodded.

“Oh god,” Tara exclaimed. “Guys, I think I know why the Magic Man thought this place was so magical.” She pointed at the map they were using to pinpoint the unsub’s hunting grounds. “We are right around the corner from the legendary Fountain of Youth.”

***

“Hey, I’ve got Garcia on the phone,” Penelope could hear Tara say to someone from the other side of the line.

“What is it, Garcia?” Hotch asked her.

“Sir, you were right about the scarlet macaw,” she told him. They are very hard to find. When you can find one, they’re real pricey. However, a private zoo outside of St. Augustine reported a macaw stolen. The owner suspected it to be a former employee, but they didn’t have any proof. I checked out this former employee, Bobby Boles, Bobby being short for Robert, Robert being maybe our mad scientist?”

“Did Robert Boles ever go to medical school?” Tara asked her. 

Penelope checked. “Yeah, he totally did. He flunked out in the middle of his first year though. He’s always been sort of a misfit, it seems.”

“How so?” Tara asked.

“He was home-schooled from an early age ‘cause he didn’t fit in with other kids, lots of childhood therapy.”

“What did Boles do after he dropped out of med school?”

“Lots of part-time jobs. He currently works as an orderly…” Penelope felt her stomach sink as she saw where he worked. “At the same hospital as Dr. Braga.”

“Where is he now?” Hotch asked her.

Penelope searched for that information, but to no avail. “I can’t find a physical address, he hasn’t had one for a while. I’ll keep searching.” With that, she hung up her phone and got right back into it.

***

The rest of the team was told of Penelope’s possible breakthrough of their mystery-man-slash-unsub, after which they also discovered that an elderly woman by the name of Eileen Kebler hadn’t shown up for her appointments with Dr. Braga for the last two days. Rossi, JJ, and Tara went to check out her residence, and the rest of them stayed behind.

“Hotch, we think we have something,” Morgan called out.

The Unit Chief approached him and Luke where they were sitting at a table. “What is it?”

“It’s Garcia’s list of recent saltwater aquarium customers.”

“Is Robert Boles on the list?” Hotch asked them.

“No,” Luke admitted. “But he could be using a fake name. It’s where one of the shipments was delivered that caught our eye.” He pointed out the aforementioned location. “The parking lot of a closed medical facility.”

The three of them were instantly in an SUV on their way to the facility.

“All right, thanks, Garcia,” Luke said as he hung up the phone. To the others, he then said, “Robert Boles got a summer job at a gift shop near the Fountain of Youth Archaeological Park. He got fired for breaking in after-hours.”

“Maybe that’s where the obsession with eternal youth started,” Morgan suggested. 

When they arrived at the abandoned medical facility, they found Robert Boles holding a knife over Andrea Gambrell and arguing with another man.

“Robert Boles, drop the weapon,” Hotch ordered.

Luke and Morgan entered the room right behind him. 

“It’s over, man,” Morgan said to him. “You’re not getting out.”

“But the knife down slowly,” Luke said, slowly and clearly.

To his credit, Boles listened to them. He dropped the knife and raised his hands, putting them behind his head. The other man in the room looked horrified.

As Morgan arrested Robert Boles, the other man came up to Luke and Hotch. “My wife needs help,” he pleaded with them. Luke realized the wife in question must be Eileen Kebler, and this was her husband.

“Where is she?” Hotch asked. 

“In the next room,” he answered. “Call an ambulance, please.”

Hotch nodded. “Show me.”

They left, and Luke rushed to Andrea’s side to free her from her restraints. She was alive and breathing, but unconscious. 

As Luke undid the final restraint on Andrea and Morgan hauled their unsub from the room, Robert Boles delivered one final chilling declaration. “I can do my research from prison. No one can stand in the way of the future!”

Luke shuddered. The mentality of a man who thought himself unstoppable… with a complex like he had… was a very dangerous thing indeed. Andrea woke up then, and started to cry, so Luke, not knowing what else to do, pulled her in for a hug and rubbed her shoulders in an attempt to comfort her. “It’s okay,” he whispered to her. “It’s okay.”

He really hoped it would be.

***

On the jet back, Morgan sat down beside his old friend and passed him a water bottle. “Hey, man. I feel like we’ve barely gotten the chance to catch up since you’ve joined us.”

Luke accepted the bottle graciously. “Yeah, it has, it’s all been kind of crazy.”

“So how have you been adjusting to all this?”

“Oh it’s great,” Luke replied. “I’m loving it, actually. I was unsure at first, you know? But there’s a lot more that’s similar in our jobs than I thought, so I’m feeling a lot more comfortable than I thought.”

“Well you’re doing great,” Morgan assured him. “You fit right in, I’d swear you were actually a part of the team.”

Luke’s face lit up. “Seriously? Thank you?”

Morgan smiled and patted his friend on the back. “Any time. We’ll miss you when you’re gone.”

“Yeah, I’ll miss you guys too.”

***

Once they landed, of course, Luke made a beeline for Penelope’s office. She was dressed in her pyjamas and ready for another night on her office couch, but she always had time for a conversation with one of her “fine furry friends.” Especially one that was quickly climbing the ranks in her list of favorites.

“Hey, you,” she said as she opened the door.

“Hey,” he said, stepping in and sitting down on the couch to face her. “How’re you doing?”

She shrugged. “I’m trying to stay optimistic, but it gets harder and harder, you know?”

He nodded sympathetically. “I know. Is there anything I can do to help?”

She shook her head. “Not really. Your visits help though, so thank you, seriously. I still can’t believe you can actually visit me this often. Like, you have no one to go home to other than Roxy? How on earth is a guy like you possibly still single? How are girls not falling at your feet?”

Well feel free to fall at my feet any day. “Well, army rangers and fugitive task force don’t tend to lend themselves well to dating.”

Penelope nodded, understanding. “Yeah, neither does this. Thank god I’m single right now, honestly. This kind of thing could wreak havoc on a relationship.”

“You know, I’m kind of surprised you’re single too,” Luke remarked, bumping her shoulder. “You’re pretty great, Penelope Garcia.”

She laughed. “Thank you. But I don’t know, it’s kind of hard to find the kind of person who wants the same things I do. The last person I seriously dated proposed without even ever asking me if marriage was something I wanted, which it wasn’t. He asked me to leave all this behind and move to a farm with him.”

Luke’s eyebrows shot to his hairline. “I’m sorry, what? How long were you two together?”

“Four years.”

“And he asked you to move to a farm with him? What part of this,” he gestured to the high-tech room around them, “screams willing to live the rest of my life on a farm?”

“You’ve known me for a few weeks and yet somehow you know me better than he ever did. And you know what else? He is also a technical analyst, but for a different department.”

Luke threw his head back and groaned. “No! That’s even worse!” They were silent for a moment before he said, “Hey, can I ask you something random and completely unrelated?”

“Sure.”

“Your last name, ‘Garcia,’ is that from the little-known, blonde-haired, Swedish Garcias?”

“Actually, it’s from the family that took me in after my parents died.”

Luke instantly felt like the world’s biggest asshole. “Oh my god I am so sorry,” he said, absolutely mortified. “I didn’t mean anything by it, I swear I was just curious, I—”

Penelope laughed. “Relax, I’m just messing with you. Well, kind of. Garcia was my stepdad’s last name, he legally adopted me when my mom married him. My mom and stepdad did die, however, so that part I’m not kidding about.”

“I’m so sorry,” Luke said genuinely. “Can I ask what happened?”

“I was eighteen years old, and I had stayed out past curfew one night. They went out to look for me, I got home after they left. They were hit by a drunk driver and killed instantly. I’ve felt guilt over it ever since. I probably always will.”

Luke took her hand in both of his and squeezed. “Hey, I know you’ve probably been told this a million times, but that was not your fault.”

She met his eyes and squeezed his hand in return. “I know that, logically, but it’s hard to accept that, you know?”

“Yeah, I get that. I’m so sorry Penelope.”

They had a moment, then, of complete silence. Just the two of them staring at each other and holding on tight to the other’s hand. Nothing was happening, yet it still felt deeply intimate. 

The moment was soon broken by Hotch entering her office, and they ripped their hands apart from each other, strangely feeling like they were caught doing something they weren’t supposed to be.

“Garcia,” Hotch said. “I need you to come with me right now.”

“Now, now?” Penelope asked.

He nodded. “Yes, now.”

“Should I change? I’m in my PJs—”

Hotch cut her off and spoke to Luke. “Alvez, get some clothes for her and bring them to us. We don’t have time to waste.” 

“Sir,” Penelope implored. “I’m scared, what’s going on?”

“There’s been a major break in the case of the hitmen hunting you.”

Penelope’s eyes widened in disbelief. “There has?”

Hotch nodded. “And we may have found a way to bring the whole network down.”

[infjtarot]

4 of Cups ~ Bachus Tarot

  Here, an idea or a new inspiration is trying to make itself known to you, but you are trying desperately not to notice. There are basically angelic choruses singing above your head, and you have clamped your hands over your ears and are doing your best “La-la-la-la-la, I can’t hear you!” The question is, Why would someone ever ignore something like that? Surely that is what all creatives sit around waiting for: inspiration to strike. But it’s disruptive. You might be almost finished with the project, or maybe you have a very clear sense of how you want things to go, and then here comes the big blinking sign that says, “Nope, dummy, this is the way it should be instead!” It means you are going to have to tear apart the work you’ve already done or maybe abandon it completely to follow this new idea, and who wants to do that? A client of mine, after spending four years on a manuscript and finishing a complete draft, told me that she suddenly realized during her revisions that the novel should have been written in the first person rather than in the third. She had become so stuck on the idea of a third-person narration that she had ignored the signs this was the wrong approach and plowed through to the end. Now that she was done, she was completely unwilling to fix what she knew to be a very obvious problem. My client would not have had to start over from the beginning, but certainly admitting that this was the solution to her book’s problems would mean another year’s worth of work ahead of her. She was so anxious to be done with this book and move on to something else that she was willing to sacrifice the whole thing. Eventually, though, she resigned herself to her task and began the hard work of revision. It took her a long time, but the end result was much improved. In that way, we can all be like Penelope in Homer’s The Odyssey, who prayed for her husband Odysseus’s return from the protracted Trojan War only to fail to recognize him when he finally showed up. If what we get doesn’t fall in line with what we expect, or if what we get is too disruptive, we can fail to see its value. And so we reject it or send it away. Like, “No, I see myself only playing stringed instruments; I have no use for the clarinet.” But maybe the clarinet will open up whole new worlds for you if you are willing to give it a try. With the Four of Cups, you have to maintain an openness and a willingness to be derailed. It’s not good to stay stubborn just so that you can stay on schedule or stick with your original vision when a better way is calling out to you. RECOMMENDED MATERIALS The Beast in the Jungle, book by Henry James “The Stranger with the Face of a Man I Loved,” recording by Sarah Kirkland Snider Cheerful Weather for the Wedding, book by Julia Strachey The Creative Tarot. Jessa Crispin

[enticingprotector]

Derek @babygirlpg Morgan had been through a lot in his life, things that he never wished on anyone. Before joining the BAU , he never let anyone get close to him, never allowed feelings be involved.

But when he joined the BAU and became an FBI agent, things changed for him, he saw clearly that it was okay to let people close, to allow himself to have friends.

But Penelope Garcia, his best friend and the one he have been secretly in love with for so many years he never expected to open his eyes and heart in ways that he never saw possible.

Nor had he planned on falling in love with her, but because of what Carl did to him in the past, he believed his baby girl deserved better than a damaged FBI agent to love her. So he stuck with just being her best friend.

With the work they do, catching bad guys and everything, there were times he had been close to admit his love to her, but he stopped himself every time still meaning he wasn’t good enough for her, even with her knowing everything about him after having been working together for 11 years.

There were no one more important to him than his mother and his baby girl. Lately it had became harder and harder to not give into his love for his baby girl.

One night stands was not for him anymore, he wanted something more, something real and he only wanted that with Penelope.

Sighing he enters his office, tired from having gotten back from their latest case, which had hit him , as the person they had saved from the serial killer had told him she were in love with her best friend but never got the chance to tell him cause of him dying by the serial killer’s hand.

It made him see how short life is. That maybe it was time for him to take a chance, even in fear of rejection, cause why would his baby girl want a damaged man like him?

Hearing a knock on his office door, he knew who it was without even seeing her. “Come in baby girl.” He says loud enough for her to hear.

[allxthingsxglxtter]

Look who just woke up- is that AARON FONTAINE? No, I must have been mistaken that’s ERASMUS from THE ODYSSEY (OC). I heard he is 35 and stuck here just like everyone else. Even in the 20’s, they still give off IN LOVE WITH A MAN HE SHOULDN’T, DETERMINED TO PROTECT, NO HOPE OF SURVIVAL impression. They’re known to be quite DEVOTED but have a tendency to be PESSIMISTIC on their bad days 

Gender/Pronouns

He/Him

How long have they been in Sydney?

He’s been in Sydney two years to his memory.

Job

He’s a farmhand

Which suburb do they live in?

Erasmus has a small place in Liverpool

Memories of their real life :

If pressed, Erasmus can’t say he remembers much of his family. His mother died when he was born, and he vaguely remembers having an older brother and his father’s face.  But he was abandoned on the streets of Ithaca by the time he was seven, and was lucky enough to be found by a guard and brought to the palace grounds to be raised by him.  Erasmus doesn’t know what prompted the man to take him in, but he determined even at such a young age to be useful. He was taught to respect the gods, and not forget to make offerings regularly, and even as a young boy he didn’t fail in honoring the gods. He left offerings weekly at the least, most often praying to Athena for her wisdom and guidance.  He started training to fight, knowing that he would be enlisted to serve the kingdom as soon as he became a man, and Erasmus wanted to prove himself.  Be worth rescuing, and something more than the lost boy who’d been abandoned by his family.

It was during his training that he first encountered Odysseus, the prince someone who had a presence in the training yards and among the soldiers.  He had a sharp wit, and didn’t seem to miss any detail of what was happening around him, not even Erasmus.  Erasmus was surprised when the prince first bothered to interact with him, but they soon had become good friends despite their differences in standing.   Odysseus quickly was someone he was attached to, respecting him greatly as well as finding him attractive, and in a different world he would have voiced his feelings to the other man.  However, he was a rejected orphan and Odysseus was a brilliant prince who soon became king, and Erasmus was now a part of his personal guard.  He knew he was in love with him soon after the crown passed to him, and even as Odysseus was married to the woman he loved.  He knew it was foolish, his heart held by someone who’d never return it, but it was also pointless to try and stop as he had to be at Odysseus side day in and out.  So he didn’t, Erasmus choosing to love the unattainable and simply dedicate his life and time to ensuring that his King was happy and alive.

Then came the call to war, Odysseus called to honor a vow he’d made to Agamemnon years before and sailing for the city of Troy.  Something about it all felt like it was more than it seemed, and as they prepared and assembled some of Greece’s most famous heroes, including Odysseus himself, Erasmus knew it was unlikely they all would return.  He swore a vow then to make sure Odysseus made it back to Penelope and his newborn son Telemachus, and then said goodbye to his adoptive father before sailing for Troy.

The war wasn’t at all what Erasmus expected. Years of endless fighting.  Small victories and big here and there, but it never felt like Troy was any closer to falling.  It was during this long period that Odysseus seemed to truly notice Erasmus, the guard finding the King’s eyes on him more than usual. When Odysseus shifted closer one evening while they were conversing in his tent Erasmus didn’t think anything of it, and was taken by surprise when the other kissed him.  It got more intimate from there, Erasmus assuming he was just a distraction, a way to sate the other’s needs while they were gone, but as the years wore on..they became more.  Odysseus expressed that he had feelings, and would be speaking with Penelope about them on the return, loving both his wife and the man who’d been at his side for years.  The talk made Erasmus happy, but something in him still said he’d never make it back to Ithaca, and he continued to make his offerings to the gods, still asking Athena and the rest to bring Odysseus home safe.

Ten years passed at Troy.  Ten years until finally the Horse was built, and everything came to it’s terrible end.  Spoils were gathered, and the ships that had come to those shores finally pushed off for home. For a brief moment Erasmus hoped they could make it home without incident, and then.  First the Lotus Eaters, then the Cyclops, and Circe, and every other danger between.  The men dying off one by one, and Erasmus knew his instinct would prove true.  He’d never see home again.  He tried to be there for Odysseus as much as he could, wanting the man he loved to be able to scrap together some semblance of peace whenever he did see his family again, but Erasmus couldn’t ever get him to talk about what if he didn’t live, just wanting to know Odysseus could be ready for that.  So all he could do was write a letter for him that Erasmus kept with his things, wanting Odysseus to know at the very least how much he was loved.  

When their journey passed the sea monster Scylla, Erasmus wasn’t surprised when it came his time to die, the creature’s tentacle around him before he could even react and he was yanked off the ship and into the horrifying creatures mouth, gone within moments. 

What was their fake life like?

TBD

[reidsnose]

happy campers

overview: the bau goes on a team building camping trip but reader and spencer spend most of their time together

genre: fluff

a/n: ive been kicking myself for not posting in forever but i think this one is pretty cute! please lmk what yall think :)

masterlist

-

-

the stuffy, eight person suv finally rolled to a stop, the overgrown children that call themselves the bau tumbling out as quickly and gracelessly as possible. Morgan and Reid nearing the end of a 2 and a half minute long slap fight that you happened to be caught directly in the middle of. you looked at jj, pleading to make them stop with her mom powers.

"boys behave or ill ground you both," she sighed, going to help out with taking things out of the trunk.

they immediately stopped, muttering under their breath that the other one started it. but before they could start again, Spencer caught a glance at you. you were taking a deep breath, smiling contently, very clearly happy to get some fresh, forest air. despite being in direct sunlight, your smile was far brighter than anything he'd seen in his whole life.

before he knew it he was being snapped out of his daze and asked to help set up the tents. he was really hoping to have a chance to share a tent with you, like you sometimes had done on cases when hotel rooms were scarce. but he knew that almost everyone wanted a spot in your tent because you're that much fun to be around. Penelope would win, obviously, and he would be paired up with morgan again.

he let out a sigh as he finished up pitching one of the tents, pulling the corner and nailing it into the ground. as he did so, something caught his eye: a pink, round, fat little worm crawled out of the dirt.

his attention was now fully on the worm, ecstatic to see it because he had been reading up on worms for a while. he called morgan and hotch over since they were the closest to him, rambling excitedly all hes learned about them so far. he looked up and could see the disinterest behind their polite smiles. his own smile faltered for a second, until he saw you finishing up pitching a tent.

"im gonna go show y/n. shes gonna love this!" spencer giggled, already walking towards you.

"hey kid i dont know if she-" morgan began.

"reid she might not-" hotch started as well.

but he had already reached you, sticking out his hand and revealing the worm. hotch and morgan looked at each other worriedly, concerned that the tiniest rejection from you, even about something as small as a worm, would tear his heart to pieces.

their faces changed from worry to confusion as they watched a wide grin crack on your face.

"oh! a worm!" you exclaimed gleefully.

they observed as you put your hand out and Spencer dropped the worm in your hand. you watched it wriggle around and would occasionally look up and nod along with his rambling, asking questions and listening intently. hotch and morgan were speechless, knowing full well if they offered a girl they liked a worm, she would not have the same reaction.

you and Spencer started walking back over to the tent, where hotch and morgan tried their best to seem busy. you two were laughing, something about putting the worm back where he found it so it gets home safely. if there was ever any doubt that you and Spencer would be the perfect couple, its completely disintegrated now.

you and Spencer were typically joined at the hip, but after the worm encounter, you two were especially inseparable.

the girls went down by the lake to tan while you and Spencer tried to build a hut out of random sticks and logs you found around the forest. and while the guys were fishing on that same lake, Spencer and you were rock skipping, and he was explaining to you the physics behind it. and you were both scaring away any potential fish for rossi, hotch, and morgan to catch. so you two were banished back into the forest for the time being. when the rest of the team came back, you and him were up in a tree, eating some of the snacks they'd packed, talking and laughing and subconsciously leaning into one another. you didn't need to be a profiler to see the signs. you two were head over heels already, even if you guys didn't know it yet.

after a bonfire full of roasted marshmallows and scary stories, laughs and giggles. it was a wonderful, but tiring night and before you knew it you were getting ready for bed, sharing highlights of the day back and fourth with Penelope.

"i'm picking up on a bit of a pattern," she giggled, wiggling her eyebrows.

you wracked your brain, "what pattern?"

"all of your highlights included a certain adorkable genius."

"what? no we just...he's my best friend so we-cause its fun and i just-" you stammered, feeling your face heat up with every passing second.

"relax my love, i was just teasing," she chuckled, turning over to go to sleep.

"yeah i know. goodnight pen."

"goodnight lovely," she sighed, "but give some thought to lover boy."

you chuckled lightly before whispering to yourself, "trust me i have."

you woke up and checked the time, it was 4:47am but you just could not fall asleep. you crawled out of the tent, grabbing your blanket when you felt the cool morning air rush at you. you didn't want to wake anyone, so you made your way over to the little hill that the suv was parked on, stealing the keys from hotch's bag and crossing to the other side that faced east. the sun would be rising soon, it would be nice to watch; you draped your blanket across your shoulders. you heard footsteps coming from behind you, your blood running cold, immediately assuming the worst.

you turned around and were met with Spencer's sleepy smile. his hair stuck up in all directions and he looked perfectly adorable. you had to resist your urge to give in and kiss him right then and there.

"you scared me!" you whispered, trying to stifle a smile.

"im sorry," he giggled, "why are you up?"

"im not sure i just couldnt fall back asleep. why are you up?" you echoed.

"morgan keeps farting."

you and him let out hearty laughs, quickly covering your mouths as to not wake up the rest of the team.

you faced the car for a second, legs growing tired from standing.

"look how pretty the fogged up windows look," you observed, facing back and fourth between the colorful sky and the muggy version reflecting on the suv. you pressed your hand against the window, leaving a print, "so cold!" you chuckled.

spencer put his hand next your handprint, quickly recoiling, "you werent lying," he laughed, shivering a little.

you looked at the two handprints, his comically larger than yours and you couldnt help but smile to yourself.

"do you want some blanket?" you asked, opening your arms.

"i think im too tall," he frowned, "maybe if i crouch?"

"how about," you dangled the keys infront of your face before opening the trunk of the suv, "front row seats to the sunrise and some blanket."

"that sounds perfect," he smiled, begging his body not to redden his cheeks.

you two crawled into the trunk, draping the blanket across both of your shoulders, being pulled together by the small piece of fabric. you two were completely cuddled together, getting maximum warmth from the blanket and each other's body heat. a comfortable silence floated between you, faint bird songs and the others breathing filling it with peace. you felt your eyelids droop, despite the breathtaking rebirth of the sun happing in front of you. spencer was just so comfortable.

he felt the same way, his head falling to rest on top of yours as sleep pulled at his eyes. he yawned lightly, pulling you closer and breathing you in. you smiled. perfectly content.

about an hour later, hotch woke up, searching frantically for his keys. he ran up to check if the suv was still there, only to be met with your sleeping figures in the open trunk, wrapped up tightly in a blanket, smiles on both of your faces despite being asleep. hotch was good at predicting things, he saw scenarios play out fully before they truly began.

he snapped a picture, knowing it would be put to good use in a few years, he smelled a wedding.

spencer and you spent the drive home smiling like a couple of idiots, grins growing wider each time the sun hit the window just right, revealing your handprints.

-

ultra mega super cool taglist:

@mac99martin @imhreid @spencersmagic @hollydaisy23 @raelady1184 @a-broken-pact @padfootswife @hey-there-angels @star-stuff-in-the-cosmos @sonnydoesrandomshit @averyhotchner @laurakirsten0502 @reidyoulikeabook @rem-ariiana @spencerreid9 @vampire-overlord @takeyourleap-of-faith @spenxerslut @violetspoetic @aperrywilliams @b-a-utiful @eevee0722 @srhxpci @reidemandweep @imdefinitelyfloating @random-human-person @gurkiloni @luvspence @calm-and-doctor @ssavanessa22 @singularityjc

[spencers-renaissance]

The Other Side of the Storm

Summary: Spencer & Luke are not out as a couple but have to attend the same FBI gala where a young, pretty agent insists on flirting with Luke. Misunderstandings and surprising reveals ensue.

Tags: relationship reveal, secret relationship, coming out, jealousy, caught, hurt/comfort, autistic spencer, angst with a happy ending, misunderstandings, found family, est. rel., cuddling & snuggling, domestic fluff

Pairing: Luke Alvez x Spencer Reid

Word Count: 2.7k

Masterlist // Read on AO3

Lets pretend I didn't just disappear for a couple of weeks bc I'm BACK now yay! This is written for a prompt from @ralvezhq who asked: "Ralvez is already dating but no one knows about them yet. they get invited to some sort of FBI gala and a young, accomplished female agent won’t stop flirting with luke and spencer is absolutely not having it so he finds a way to let everyone know they are together." -- I stuck to it except that they're caught rather than willingly confessing, I hope that's okay! I really enjoyed this one, so I hope you do as well.

!!!TW: the woman is very insistent on her flirting and makes Luke uncomfortable when she touches his chest without his consent!!!

“Any particular reason you keep looking over at that table full of Fugitive Task Force members, Spence?” JJ asks amusedly, sipping from her wine glass.

“Mm, I’ve noticed you looking over there a little bit,” Tara muses. “You got your eye on someone?”

Spencer looks down and forces a laugh, but he can feel the tips of his ears turning pink, and knows that he’s not gonna hear the end of this for the rest of the night. The team have never been fond of the FBI Galas they’re forced into attending every year, and unfortunately, Hotch’s usual stunt of pulling a non-urgent case from the stack and jetting off to some far-flung corner of the country to avoid it failed to fool the director this time.

He’d broken the news to them at the start of the week, and conversation in the bullpen has pretty much exclusively revolved around the event ever since. Even Penelope, who loves seeing people win awards and dressing up in her favourite full-glam outfits, has been significantly less upbeat. She only gave him one spontaneous hug all week.

None of them, though, have been dreading it more than Spencer. The others aren’t exactly fond of the faux smiles and convoluted politics and fake niceties either, sure, but tonight he has far more to lose than ever before. Namely, the man sat just out of his direct eye line at the Fugitive Task Force table.

Ironically, he and Luke had gotten ready for the same event together. They’d stood in the mirror side by side and tied one another’s ties in the way that always makes Spencer smile and Luke had gently brushed his hair out of eyes, but when it came time to leave, Spencer called a rideshare, and Luke drove the truck, arriving at completely different times in completely different vehicles.

The thing is, that as much as he loves his team, and as much as the FBI fraternisation policy has been significantly relaxed over the last few years, no one can know they’re together and have been for the last eight months.

Even the thought of Derek or Hotch or even JJ finding out — not only that he’s dating someone but that that person is a man — makes him feel queasy.

Which is why he smiles around an awkward cough and forces himself to meet the eyes of his profiler teammates, fighting every instinct in him to run, leg it out of here, never show your face again.

“No, I’m just looking at the clock above them,” he lies, and it isn’t smooth in any way shape or form but it’ll have to do. “You know I can’t wait for this to end. I haven’t read any Carl Jung in weeks.”

Tara laughs, raising her wine glass slightly. “Now that I understand.”

“Nah, I’m not so sure,” Derek grins slyly, “I think my man has his eye on some girl and he’s just getting a little shy, am I right, pretty boy?” He quirks an eyebrow playfully, leaning over to pat him on the back, and Spencer scrambles to recover.

“Believe whatever you’d like, Morgan,” he says, bringing his own glass to his lips to conceal any tells in his expression. “Doesn’t make it any less false.”

Thankfully, the conversation is interrupted by the Director clearing his throat into the mic on the stage as he introduces the next round of awards. Spencer loses himself in the anonymity of a dark room and a clapping audience, grateful that he’s avoided this round of interrogation.

The rest of the night progresses similarly. Spencer tries to keep his eyes away from Luke’s table — and valiantly attempts to keep from blushing like a schoolgirl when their eyes meet and Luke’s lips quirk upwards in an I-tried-to-stop-it-but-I-just-can’t kind of smile — and the rest of his team rib him pretty relentlessly about this ‘girl’ he supposedly has his eye on.

Hotch tries to get the team to leave him alone, but when a group of skilled, determined profilers all a little tipsy on wine and champagne encounter a friend’s mysterious love life, it’s pretty difficult to stand in their way.

Once dessert is served, though, things rapidly go downhill.

As much as he’s been trying to keep his eyes away from Luke’s table, it’s almost impossible to prevent his gaze from straying in a temporary moment of cognitive lapse every now and then, and while everyone is relatively quiet and occupied, digging into the Belgian waffle dessert, it happens once again. This time, though, instead of a small smile from Luke, he’s rewarded with the frankly heart-stopping sight of a young, pretty agent practically sitting in his lap, trying to feed him dessert.

He looks uncomfortable, and immediately Spencer is hit with an overwhelming wave of insecurity, jealousy, and an urge to protect that strangles his breath for a moment. He stares unabashedly, no longer caring whether anyone sees him because that’s his boyfriend and an extremely pretty woman is all over him and he looks like he wants her to stop, and oh my god, what does he do?

“Is that the girl you like all over that dude?” Derek asks sympathetically, catching onto Spencer’s staring. “It’s alright, man, if she’d choose someone else over you then she’s not right for you anyway. Why don’t you come and enjoy your dessert?”

Spencer senses the rest of the team’s eyes on him, but they don’t say anything, probably from a combination of pity, awkwardness, and confidence in Derek to counsel him through it. He’s hardly cognisant of that, though, instead a roar of emotion crashing through his mind, and he has no idea what to do about it.

When he sees a perfectly manicured hand land directly on Luke’s chest, though; when he sees Luke reject her more firmly, this time pushing her away; when he watches as she clearly gears herself up for some sad protest of self-victimisation, he sees red.

Before he can stop himself, he’s storming across the room over to Luke’s table. “Hi,” he says firmly, audibly pissed off and not in the mood for bullshit, “do you mind if I borrow my friend here? I have some official FBI business to discuss with him. Thanks.”

Without waiting for a response, he grabs Luke’s arm and leads him to the corridor outside the main hall, Luke following quickly and willingly behind him.

“Are you okay?” Spencer asks with his brow furrowed, his hand coming up to gently rest on Luke’s waist as he peers at him concernedly through the dim lighting of the hallway.

“Yes, baby, I’m fine,” Luke smiles reassuringly, raising a hand to Spencer’s face. “I’m sorry you had to see that. She was… persistent.”

“She shouldn’t have made you uncomfortable like that,” Spencer insists, still feeling distressed and anxious despite the immediate situation having been diffused.

“You’re right,” Luke agrees. “And she should’ve listened to me when I told her I was taken. I’m sorry you had to see someone flirting with me so openly like that, carinõ, I know you still get insecure about things like that.”

Spencer sighs, relaxing slowly the more he hears Luke’s voice as steady and strong and kind as it always is. He steps forward and buries his face in Luke’s neck as he nestles in close for a comforting hug.

“You know I only have eyes for you, right, sweetheart?” Luke whispers softly, one arm holding his waist and another tangling itself in Spencer’s loose curls.

He nods into Luke’s neck, but doesn’t make any move to pull away, just enjoying the warmth and closeness of standing so intimately with the man he loves until—

“Spencer!” Derek’s voice pulls him violently from his sweet escape from reality and horror instantly floods him as he jerks away from Luke, staring at Derek in a nauseating mixture of alarm and trepidation.

“What…” Derek stares right back at him as both JJ and Tara come tumbling through the doors behind him, looking ready for a fight—

Oh. That makes sense. They all saw him storming towards a woman they thought he had a crush on, then pull the man she was flirting with out into the most secluded corridor surrounding the hall. Even considering Spencer’s character, he has to admit that the circumstances definitely look like he was gearing up for a fight, and everyone knows that he is not the kind of person who could hold his own against an ex-military man who chases down criminals for a living.

“You’re… not fighting him,” Derek says hesitantly, the puzzle pieces clearly falling into place for him.

Spencer shakes his head minutely, and is only thankful when Luke inches closer and wraps an arm around him. After all, he has nothing more to lose.

“You were looking at him, not her,” Derek continues slowly.

Spencer nods, unable to meet the eyes of any of the three friends standing in front of him.

“You’re dating him,” he says, still sounding shocked, his voice almost entirely numb. “You’re gay.”

“Or bisexual,” Tara offers, and Spencer takes a little comfort in the fact that she doesn’t sound shocked or upset, her voice warm and helpful. He tries to meet her eye, but he can’t work up the courage and buries closer into Luke’s embrace instead.

“Gay,” he whispers.

“Spence,” JJ says quietly, earnestly, “why didn’t you tell us?”

It’s too much to go into right now, too convoluted and long of a story for him to explain when even choking out a single syllable takes a herculean effort, so he shrugs instead.

“We were talking all night assuming you were interested in a woman,” Derek says numbly, more to himself than anything, but Spencer watches out of the corner of his eye as he shakes off the shock and comes back to himself, slowly putting more of the puzzle together as he looks at Spencer. “That’s why you didn’t tell us. We’ve been making assumptions all this time and hurting you in the process.”

“Oh, Spence,” JJ whispers sadly, stepping a little closer.

“I’m so sorry, pretty boy, I— I should’ve known or tried to be more inclusive at least, I’m so sorry I made you feel like this.”

The regret in his friends’ voices and the absence of a negative reaction brings him out of the safety of Luke’s arms slightly. His boyfriend is eyeing him with serious concern, and he tries a smile to reassure him a little, squeezing his hand.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” he manages, clearing his throat awkwardly as he finally succeeds in making eye contact. “It’s a long story and I’ll tell you another time, but, uh​​— this is Luke. We’ve been together for eight months, two weeks, and four days.”

Luke smiles fondly. “As much as we didn’t expect to reveal it like this, it’s nice to meet all of you properly,” Luke says warmly, shaking everyone’s hands quickly before stepping back to Spencer and interlocking their fingers, pressing a quick but meaningful kiss to his temple.

“I’m really glad you felt able to share this with us, Spence,” Tara says encouragingly, smiling at him in that bright, reassuring way of hers that rivals Penelope in the warmth and comfort it radiates. “I’m proud of you.”

Something about her reaction this entire time has him wondering whether she already knew. He’ll ask her later when he feels less like his heart is still firmly lodged in his throat.

“Me too, kid,” Derek agrees, smiling as well. Spencer wonders whether the initial shock and numb reaction was more a response to his own behaviour than anything about him and Luke, and the thought makes him feel substantially better.

JJ grins, stepping forward and grabbing Spencer’s other hand. “Me three.”

Before anyone can say anything else, the doors are opening again and Penelope is flying through them.

“Oh! Thank god you’re all okay! You just ran off after Spencer and I left you guys to it because I thought you could handle it better than I could but then you didn’t come back and even Hotch was worried, and—” she cuts herself off as she realises everyone staring at her, and slowly she takes in the scene around her. “Oh my god, I’ve missed something. Oh my god, I missed a moment, didn’t I? What have I told you guys about having moments without me? Someone tell me what happened, please, before I explode—”

“Alright, Penelope,” Spencer chuckles, interrupting her. He’s known her for too long to expect her to cut herself off when she’s on a tirade like that. “Uh, this is Luke. My boyfriend.”

“Your… your boyfriend? Oh my god, I finally get to meet him? Wait you told the others? Oh my god I’ve missed so much!”

“Penelope knew?” Derek asks, surprised.

“Half of mine and Spencer’s mutual friends are FBI Agents, and the other half are drag queens, of course I knew,” Penelope dismisses him, “but he wasn’t ready for me to meet his boyfriend yet or even know his name and I very nicely did not go hunting to find him out because I could’ve done that, but I didn’t, because I value you so much as a friend, Spencer, and I’m so glad you finally—”

“Penelope!” Spencer interjects, laughing even more as the tension and distress he’d felt only minutes ago finally melts away fully. “Do you actually want to introduce yourself to Luke, or do you want to keep rambling about drag queens?”

“Right! Yes!” she says eagerly, turning to Luke. “I’m Penelope and it is so nice to meet you, like you don’t even know how much I’ve wanted to meet the man who has my blueberry muffin blushing bright pink in the corner of my batcave while he texts on the phone, and I know you call him carinõ because I saw a text once and it’s the sweetest nickname ever, you are just the cutest, and we are going to be best friends—”

Spencer rests his head on Luke’s shoulder as he listens fondly to Penelope rambling and his friends chatting amongst themselves and everyone getting to know the most important man in his life — the only man he’s ever wanted anything long term with, the only man he’s ever wanted to actually marry one day — and a warm, sweet feeling of contentment floods his chest.

It’s far from the way he thought he’d feel after the team found about Luke, and he savours it, holds it in his mouth for as long as he can before swallowing the memory and filing it away to treasure forever. A moment like this deserves that kind of reverence.

“How are you feeling about tonight?” Luke asks gently as they crawl into bed, tired but happy at gone 2am. He pulls Spencer into his side as soon as they’re under the duvet, resting his chin on his head as he always does.

Moments like these make Spencer smile, the kind of familiar routine that’s so essential to their relationship. Luke had figured out early on that close physical contact and firm touches make him feel safe and settle his racing mind, so they’d worked out positions that made them both feel comfortable, and now relaxing into them is second nature.

“A bit weird,” Spencer admits after thinking for a moment. “I’m happy that they know now and everyone took it well, but it’s strange. A significant part of who I am has been not only that I’m gay, but the dedication I felt to protecting that secret. And now that it’s out, it feels like something private has been bared for my friends to inspect.”

“I think that’s only natural,” Luke muses quietly, pressing a kiss to Spencer’s curls. “It’ll take some getting used to, but you’ll adjust eventually.”

Spencer sighs. “Yeah, you’re right. After I tackle telling Hotch and Rossi, it’ll be nice not to have to hide it. I’ll be able to talk about you at work and maybe even go crazy and put a photo of you on my desk.”

“Wow, that is wild, check you out,” Luke chuckles, before they settle into a comfortable silence in the warm glow of their bedroom. Eventually, he speaks up though, quiet and reverent. “I’m proud of you, carinõ. I really am.”

The words instantly make Spencer smile, a light blush tinging his ears again. He hides his face in Luke’s chest, scooching impossibly closer into his arms. “I love you,” he whispers.

“I love you, too, Spencer,” Luke replies, a happy sigh in his voice.

He reaches over and turns off the bedside lamp. His hand returns to Spencer’s hair and something clicks into place somewhere, a fundamental alignment of the universe that brings a feeling of something so incredibly right as their breathing rhythmically matches to one another and they slide into the welcome embrace of sleep.

I hope you enjoyed that! I had a lot of fun with this one. If anyone has any more ralvez relationship reveal prompts, feel free to send them my way!

Taglist: @criminalmindsvibez @suburban--gothic @strippersenseii @takeyourleap-of-faith @makaylajadewrites @iamrenstark @hotchseyebrows @reidology @spencerspecifics @tobias-hankel @marsjareau @hotchscotchh @oliverbrnch @im-autistic @thataveragenerd @anxious-enby @kuolonsyoja @ropoto @cmily @nudgerox @love-pyramus @notevanbuckley @downwiththedoorpoole @nomajdetective (Add yourself to my taglist here!)

[us3rnam3-r3dact3d]

Spotify Wrapped Associations

Now that I've gotten through what I think is all of the asks about my Spotify top 100, I thought I'd give you guys a short little playlist of the songs I actually associate with the Redacted boys.

Cigarette Ahegao | Penelope Scott

Gavin. 100% Gavin. The absolute revulsion to the expectations that are placed on him. The total rejection of what he’s been told he is. What he’s been told all of the people like him are. He went to D.A.M.N and D.A.M.N told him what he was and that he had no chance of escaping that.

So everyone I love is stuck / Because this that, the other, and the state fucked up/ We covered it in a class I’m about to fail

Hey incels, just have sex (duh) / Trash on the walls / And trash on the floor / Liquid eyeliner stuck to the door / Screwing everything up and doing everything wrong / In my defense I wasn't supposed to be around this long, so...

Someday, I'll have my own life / I'll leave this all behind

Saint Bernard and Saint Bernard 2 | Lincoln

Like I mentioned in the request about it, these two songs mark the difference between Sam’s relationship with Alexis and his relationship with Darlin’. I just wanted to show off the difference in the lyrics. Seriously, if you love Saint Bernard please listen to 2. It’s so good.

Tell me where I came from, what I will always be / Just a spoiled little kid who went to Catholic school

Vs.

To tell me where I came from / What I thought I could be / As a spoiled little kid / About to leave Catholic school

I said make me love myself so that I might love you / Don't make me a liar, 'cause I swear to god / When I said it I thought it was true

Vs.

Or please make me love myself / So that I might love you / Or make me a liar / 'Cause I swore to God / Back when swearing / Just felt like the truth

Arsonist’s Lullaby | Hozier

Not to lean into cliches but this song belongs to Damien. Barely controlled anger, a power that he just contains. A thirst. Damien could have turned out so much darker. We’ve seen that. He refuses to tame his anger for the comfort of those around him, but that anger belongs to him. He won’t let it off it’s leash.

When I was a child, I'd sit for hours / Staring into open flame / Something in it had a power / Could barely tear my eyes away

All you have is your fire / And the place you need to reach / Don't you ever tame your demons / But always keep 'em on a leash

Graveyard’s Full | the Growlers

Bracium. At its core, this song is about the human instinct to survive no matter what it costs, up to and including the destruction of their own planet. Bracium’s storyline involves a shift in the balance of nature, a movement among the forces of the world that turns that balance on its head. And if it’s not addressed soon, his graveyard will be very full indeed.

The graveyard’s full / We’re running out of earth / But we can use the bones / To build another church / Thick walls made of men / Whose souls have come and went

Class of 2013- Audiotree Live | Mitski

We hear a lot of David’s dad and their relationship, but we don’t hear much about his mom. I think that’s interesting, and I think that somewhere in David there is a deep curiosity- maybe loss, maybe anger. I listen to this version of the song so much because of how Mitski’s voice breaks, how you can feel it, the reverberation of her voice off of her rib cage. I think that’s the kind of grief that David has when he stops trying to control these uncontrollable emotions. Or more actually- when he fails at controlling them.

Mom, would you wash my back? / This once, and then we can forget / And I'll leave what I'm chasing / For the other girls to pursue

Mom, am I still young? / Can I dream for a few months more?

Cherry Wine | Hozier

(Once again I’ll mention that I don’t like using love songs that use pronouns for the role the listener is assumed into, but the parallels in this song are excellent and I’m just going to ignore it and so should you)

Vincent. This song is about loving someone desperately with limited time. Honestly, I’m going to let the lyrics speak for themselves with this one.

And it's worth it, it's divine / I have this some of the time.

The way [they] show(s) me I'm [theirs] and [they’re] mine / Open hand or closed fist would be fine / The blood is rare and sweet as cherry wine.

I Bet on Losing Dogs | Mitski

Ivan. Doomed love. And a love he knows is doomed. He knows as he acts on it that the love he has is loosing. And he can’t help it. He can never help it. Plus, the repetition to the point of insanity of Ivan’s pet name really drives home the hopelessness for the both of them.

My baby, my baby / You're my baby, say it to me / Baby, my baby / Tell your baby that I'm your baby

I wanna feel it / I bet on losing dogs / I always want you when I'm finally fine

Someone to watch me die / Someone to watch me die / I bet on losing dogs

I Was an Island | A.W.

And finally, a song for a listener character. Darlin’. This is a sappy love song for a loner finally accepting love because of the right person. It’s the sort of love song I think Darlin’ deserves.

I was a fighter and I was so brave / But I lowered my sword when you held me and swore / You'd stay, stay, stay

I was a wolf, dear, apart from the pack /But you answered my cry in the dead of the night / And told me that you had my back

I can't do this alone anymore / 'Cause I'm no good on my own anymore / What did I do to deserve this? / What did you do to me? / Baby, come back / You know I don't want to be free

[mermaidsirennikita]

Do you have any HR recs with bitchy heroines?

Unfortunately, there aren't that many out there. Romance readers (and honestly, especially HR readers) have a huge issue with misogyny, and often reject "unlikable" heroines.

No Good Duke Goes Unpunished by Sarah MacLean--I don't consider Mara necessarily "bitchy", but she's definitely more mercenary and like... focused on herself? Than most HR heroines. I don't mean that she's necessarily super selfish, but she does in fact not want to be forced into marriage to an ancient man with a son older than her. So she basically fakes her death and runs off, and her would-be stepson is framed for her murder (not her intention). He doesn't get convicted but spends years being reviled by society, and Mara does nothing to stop this lmao. Anyway, she comes back into his life and he in fact her hero, and I really enjoyed the fuck out of the book. Lots of people hate it because Mara isn't this perfect angel and fucks up, and whatever man, I'm not about that life.

The Viscount and The Vixen by Lorraine Heath--This heroine (ironically a redhead named Portia lol, predates the Bridgerton adaptation) is another one who I don't think is a traditional bitch, but does have a ruthless side and will do what it takes to survive. The book actually kicks off because she answers an ad and signs a contract to marry this old marquess. The marquess's son is basically like "no fucking way, my dad is old and mentally ill, I don't fucking think so"--but to have her go without a marriage would mean giving her a huge payout, so he marries her instead. There's a lot happening in this book, it's very dramatic and I love it.

I'm Only Wicked with You by Julie Anne Long--I think Lillias falls into the category of "petulant spoiled brat" bitch. She's basically a little virgin who thinks she knows what's up until she meets the virile American~ hero and they begin this bickering, enemies to lovers thing. She's honestly kind of an asshole to him for like... no reason other than the fact that he turns her on, and I enjoy that.

The Earl I Ruined by Scarlett Peckham--I've been recommending this one a lot lately, but it really is a great book. Constance kicks off the book by spreading a false rumor about her brother's best friend, the earl who's always annoyed her for being stuck up and kind of rude. Honestly, it's a bit like what Penelope does, but much less malicious and less intentional. Also, she tries to make it up to him by proposing a fake engagement in order to save his reputation. It's a lovely, very hot book, but she is kind of an asshole in the beginning. Her OWNING her actions makes it all better.

Sweetest Scoundrel by Elizabeth Hoyt--The heroine of this book, Eve, is kind of sanctimoniously bitchy to the hero, Asa in the beginning. A lot of this comes from her being a control freak and having a lot of trauma (tw: childhood sexual abuse). It's kind of an uptight meets wild classic setup, but I think Eve is kind of over the top about it initially lol.

[fellintotartarus]

midnight eyes (ralvez)

(gif by the incredible @zhuzhubii <3 )

Summary: On a late night, Spencer thinks about Luke. 1.7k words.

A/N: Ralvez absolutely owns my ass thanks for coming

Warnings: I can’t think of any .. ? Lmk if you see anything please!

-

It’s late. They’re all exhausted beyond belief and it seemed even the plane made a tired landing, jolting them with unpleasant bouts of adrenaline in their sleepy states. Matt gently shakes Emily awake and they all trudge off the plane in the silence that only red-eye flights can produce.

Spencer’s head feels full of cotton as he clambers down the stairs and into FBI headquarters. It’s been days--even before the case started--since he’s gotten more than four hours of sleep in a row and he feels it strongly behind his eyes. The world feels dim and heavy as he walks the final few steps across the tarmac and into the building.

Then Luke passes from behind him, placing his hand gently on Spencer’s back as he navigates the tight hallway and Spencer suddenly doesn’t feel so tired. Luke glances back at him, flashing him a small smile before turning back and Spencer thinks he might not need sleep so urgently anymore. As long as he replays this moment in his head, he can make it home to pass out on his bed.

Luke remains a few steps ahead of him all the way to the sixth floor and into their offices, where everyone quickly throws down their case files and turns around to leave. Spencer drops into the chair at his desk, his head falling onto the surface. He knows he should get up, pick up his head and go home because he’s in imminent danger of falling asleep. He knows if he doesn’t get up now, the three AM jetlag will catch up to him quickly and--

He lifts his head. The whole office has gone, only the dim power-saving lights illuminating the personal effects and case files littering the numerous desks. Spencer looks around. It’s so peaceful. He knows, logically, what lies in all these case files, that it shouldn’t feel peaceful, but he can’t help but relax at the altered state of the room where he spends most of his life.

His eyes drift over to Luke’s desk, lingering on the single picture of Roxy that seems almost out of place on the clean-cut, nearly bare desk. He blushes at the thought of the man who occupies the desk, not even noticing a smile creep onto his face.

Luke was a breath of fresh air to the BAU. When he joined from the fugitive task force, everyone found solace in the newness he brought to the team. Spencer noticed people smiling more. Penelope found a new hobby in giving him a hard time. He was a change of pace for the tight-knit group of tired, jaded agents.

Spencer remembers the first time he noticed Luke, like, really noticed him. He was explaining something for a case. He was used to being brushed off--his quirks were conditional, only to be appreciated when he served a purpose. But as he sat there, explaining a tangent to a room full of people the rambling would be lost on, he turned his head and saw Luke. He was looking at Spencer with the utmost interest that Spencer’s speech sputtered and stalled like an old car. He hadn’t even noticed he had stopped talking until Luke had said “What were you saying, Dr. Reid?”

From that point on, Spencer had a hard time not noticing Luke. It never actively bothered him that people brushed him off and gave him a hard time. It was just a fact of life. But he supposed he never really knew how much he was missing. Now, whenever he found himself rambling past the point of no return, his eyes would drift over to Luke, who consistently looked delighted to hear more about whatever it was Spencer was talking about.

Spencer knew he was in trouble when he found himself rambling more and more just to see if Luke was really interested. In his head, there was no way Luke actually enjoyed Spencer and his infodumps. There had to be a breaking point.

But it never came. No matter how uninteresting or gross or frequent he made his speeches, Luke’s gaze never faltered. During one particularly terrible rant about flies and their reproductive cycle when Luke still looked at Spencer like he was revealing the secrets of life, Spencer thought he must be seeing things. It was only after Penelope gave him a knowing smile that Spencer came to realize it might not be in his head.

So he reveled in it. He let his eyes flit over to Luke’s clandestinely when he spoke, his breath always hitching imperceptibly at Luke’s returning gaze. He ignored Penelope’s pointed looks and settled for seeing Luke’s enraptured face when he closed his eyes at night.

A sound coming from the break room snaps Spencer out of his reverie. He turns to look at the offending noise with heavy eyes and finds the object of his thoughts stumbling sleepily out of the break room. He’s so tired it somehow surprises him when Luke walks over to him, almost as if he thought he would’ve been invisible.

Spencer jumps slightly in his seat and, to get rid of the nervous energy that suddenly overcomes him (and seems to everytime Luke approaches him), meaninglessly shuffles papers around on his desk. 

Luke smiles, pulling up a chair next to him, not knowing that just his proximity would give Spencer a giddiness that would last until next Friday.

“What are you still doing here, genius?” Luke asks, sighing and settling into his chair. He gives Spencer a warm smile when he clears his throat and shakes his head instead of answering.

What is Spencer still doing here? He’s been sitting at his desk for so long without even realizing it. Everyone else went home at least 10 minutes ago while Spencer sat at his desk daydreaming sleepily. About the man next to him.

Spencer is, and he knows this, terrible at having a crush. It practically consumes him. He acts so weird around them, spouting god-awful facts at terrible times, not picking up on any cues, and never doing absolutely anything about it.

So when Luke looks like he’s about to say something, Spencer jumps to fill the silence first. He shoots into a rant about the first thing his sleep-deprived brain can think of, standing in the process.

“You know, a study recently came out that showed that fist bumps transfer half the bacteria that handshakes do and that people should start employing that as a go-to greeting rather than--”

“I thought you were a proponent of kissing,” Luke jokes softly, rising from his chair.

Spencer blushes furiously. “Well, it’s not so much that I’m a proponent of kissing, it’s more that--”

He’s cut off by Luke’s face a mere inches from his, his breath ghosting Spencer’s face. Luke’s eyes land squarely on his, turning his brain absolutely useless. Even more surprising is the look on Luke’s face. A look Spencer had only seen in front of other people, at work, and that he (seemingly mistakenly) assumed had been a front.

“Not a proponent of kissing, huh?” Luke teases, his voice a mere breath.

Spencer’s voice is stuck in his throat. There is no way this is happening, he thinks, so he breathes lightly through his nose so Luke won’t disappear. He hopelessly stutters out a few syllables--none of them make sense--before Luke takes his hand in his.

A touch that would normally send him into mental hysterics now seems to ground him. Why had he never realized he was taller than Luke? Spencer’s eyes meet Luke’s and flicker down to his lips--the lips that were so soft-looking and pillowy he had found himself dreaming of kissing them more than once--before he realizes his mistake and quickly lowers his gaze to his feet.

“Spencer. Hey,” Luke says, using a finger to lift Spencer’s chin back up to a slightly mismatched gaze. Spencer can barely let the eye contact hold out of embarrassment; he’s sure Luke’s gonna tell him off or reject him before he’s ever said anything. He can feel himself tensing and freezing up.

“How many bacteria are transferred in a kiss?” Luke says softly, and Spencer finds himself relaxing at the opportunity to think about something else for a second. It takes him longer than usual, but he remembers the number fairly quickly. 

“80 million bacteria. More if it’s longer, less if it’s shorter, and, obviously one would have to take into account--”

He’s cut off by Luke’s lips pressing firmly against his. Spencer nearly falls over in shock, but once Luke’s bottom lip slides against his, he’s done for. The warmth in his stomach burns, his eyes flutter shut, and he melts into the floor, leaning down the slightest amount and sighing. Luke smiles against Spencer’s mouth and kisses back deeper, bringing his hand up to Spencer’s neck, leaving him stumbling over himself to get closer to Luke.

They remain like that for some time (honestly neither one of them could tell you how long if they tried) before Luke pulls away, out of breath and lips just barely swollen. Spencer almost doesn’t want to open his eyes to face the aftermath of what he’s sure is the best thing that’s happened to him, but the urge to see Luke’s eyes lit up wins over and slowly opens them, shyly creeping his gaze up to Luke’s face.

Luke’s beaming, running his fingers through the curls at the back of Spencer’s head. Spencer smiles back, letting his head fall to Luke’s shoulder.

“You know, for a genius, that sure took you a long time. I thought I would have to hit you over the head or something,” Luke said, his mouth pressed onto Spencer’s ear. 

Spencer feels his face heat against the fabric of Luke’s dress shirt. It took him a long time? Did that mean--

“I mean, I don’t know how many times I thought I had given myself away. When Garcia let it slip that she thought you liked me, I thought she was playing a prank on me because of how I looked at you,” he continued.

Spencer picked his head up. “No way,” he said softly.

Luke chuckled, “What, like it’s so hard to believe? Didn’t Morgan call you Pretty Boy?”

Spencer blushed redder and rolled his eyes.

“I just didn’t think… you know,” he replied.

Luke smiled. “Obviously.”

And, this time, Spencer kissed him.

tagged: @pretty-b0yy​ 

[hxneyandespressx]

since we’re alone, you can show me your heart

summary: what happens when derek gets a nightmare? the only one who can calm him down is his pretty boy

pairing: spencer reid x derek morgan (moreid)

word count:  1.9k

content warnings: mentions of gun and shooting

a/n: set after criminal minds season 11 episode 11 entropy

☆。*。☆。

Spencer ran frantically around his dark and messy apartment, picking up the case files and Chinese takeout boxes that had piled up on his antique coffee table. Few peanut oil stains stuck onto the wooden top. The anxious man took the nearest napkin, hoping that it was clean, and tried his best to wipe off the oil stains. Seeing that they wouldn’t come off, Spencer exasperatedly dropped the napkin onto the table and rushed over to his kitchen, grabbing the necessary cleaning supplies. He got his bottle of white vinegar and water, a pair of yellow rubber gloves, and an old rag underneath the kitchen sink.

By the time Spencer was done, every room in his apartment was clean to his standard. Not a book out of place, no dust lingering in the air. Spencer felt both scared and excited about having his co-workers come over to his place. He never had them over until today. He felt scared if a game, like truth or dare, made him confess his true feelings about his boyfriend.

Derek and Spencer had worked with each other for a long time. As the years went by, experiencing the highs and lows of being FBI agents together, the two of them felt their hearts yearn for each other, but neither of them acted upon it. They were scared of the possibility of rejection, tarnishing their friendship. It was not until Derek decided to break the ice and asked out Spencer. The young man was delighted to have his crush ask him out. It was the one thing that went right in his life.

Three months in and either of them hasn’t said “I love you” yet. Either of them was scared to frighten off the other. Saying “I love you” was a big commitment. They were trying to take things slow, not to rush each other, even though they had known each other for a long time.

The gang was heading over to Spencer’s for a little sleepover to relax as they hadn’t received any new cases within the past 2 weeks. It was nice to have a break from all the traveling and dealing with unsubs; however, it does get boring doing paperwork and in-office consultations for hours.

Spencer’s phone pinged multiple times and a bunch of text notifications came.

Hotch: Sorry, can’t make it. I couldn’t find a babysitter for Jack and Jessica is busy at work tonight. Maybe next time.

Tara: going out on the town with the ladies!

Penelope: sorry spencer but jj tara and i are having a ladies night :(

JJ: sorry spence! perhaps next time!

Rossi: Sorry kid. Forgot to tell you that I’m driving up to Montauk to visit a buddy of mine.

Spencer sighed and felt defeated. Everyone bailed on him at the last minute. Everyone except for Derek. That was fine with Spencer, as this could be a date night for them. Just then, the doorbell rang, indicating someone had arrived. Having a small smile on his face, Spencer scurried to the front door and opened it. It revealed one handsome Derek Morgan, who was holding a large pizza in one hand and a small bouquet of flowers in the other.

“I saw in the group chat that everyone else bailed on this.” Derek said.

“Yeah but this could be a date night for us.” Spencer smiled at his little proposition. Derek smiled, showing off his brilliant pearly whites, as he entered the apartment.

The couple spent their night-in watching movies, eating pizza, and Spencer going off tangents on his passions. Whenever Spencer starts to rant about one of his passions, Derek just stared at his little genius and smiled at how happy his boyfriend was. And that continued all night long, Derek listening to Spencer talk about 19th-century British literature, coupled with watching random movies of various genres.

Nearing 1 am, the couple laid on the couch, with Spencer in Derek’s arms. The tv was playing Julie & Julia in the background. Spencer was half asleep and noticed that Derek was sleeping already. He gently wiggled out of Derek’s arms and stood up from the couch, scratching his scalp and messing up his already messy curly hair.

“Hey. Let’s go to bed.” Spencer softly said, patting his boyfriend’s shoulder. Derek woke up, feeling groggy. Spencer led the way to his room, holding Derek’s hand. They both flopped onto the bed and Derek wrapped an arm around Spencer’s waist. They were used to sharing a room together, even a bed due to mistakes occurring at the hotels they stayed at when they were on cases. Sleep washed over them as the golden dust of the Sandman worked its magic.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Standing across from Derek were Spencer and Cat Adams. The hitwoman had a gun pointed at one scared Spencer Reid. Internally, Derek was screaming. On the outside, he kept his cool and calm composure.

“Morgan, get out.” Spencer demanded.

“I’m not going anywhere.” Derek said, his voice shaking a little.

“Hm… I guess we’re back where we started. You and me with a gun.” Cat said without a care in the world, keeping the gun aimed at Spencer.

“Reid, it’s time.”

“No.”

“We don’t have a choice. We have to do it,” Derek said. Spencer kept shaking his head no. “We found your father.” the unsub stood there in shock for a few seconds, before rage set inside of her.

“You’re lying. I don’t like men who lie. You men are all the same.” Cat said as she gauged the trigger on her gun. She shot Spencer in the head and without hesitation, Derek started to shoot at the unsub. Derek ran over to Spencer and held his dying love in his arms. He tried to keep him alive until the paramedics came. The last words Derek said was “I love you” before his boy wonder went limp.

Derek woke up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat. He heard himself breathing heavily and felt anxious from the nightmare he just had. The frightened man groggily rubbed his eyes to get rid of the Sandman’s dust. Leaning his back against the headboard, Derek stared at the wall across from him, concentrating his eyes on one spot. He hoped that this technique would help him fall back asleep. Alas, he was shaken up from the nightmare.

The dazed man anxiously searched for his phone, wondering how much time has passed. Fumbling through the grey sheets and trying not to wake up Spencer, Derek found his phone, turning on the touchscreen, the blue screen lit up brightly. 3:20 am. Derek took a deep breath and sighed, leaning his head back onto the headboard and looked over to see his baby-faced boyfriend fast asleep. A soft smile appeared on Derek’s face, reminding him of his reality: Spencer being his angel.

Feeling restless, Derek pushed the comforter off of himself and quietly got off of the bed. He opened the bedroom door and went to the bathroom that was down the hall. His hands turned on the faucet and cupped together to gather the running water. Derek splashed cold water onto his face, making him more alert and awake. His eyes caught the sight of his face in the mirror. Smile lines decorated his face, which contrasted the dark circles forming underneath his eyes. Derek sighed and made his way towards the kitchen.

Derek has come over to Spencer’s place many times before, so much so he knows the way around like the back of his hand. With ease, his muscular hand grabbed a tall glass, with an accompanying coaster, in one of the cabinets above. He filled the glass with water from the faucet below. Loud gulps could be heard as Derek drank the water, cool and fresh like he had found an oasis. Just as Derek gently placed the glass on the coaster, his ears caught the shuffling feet of a tired Spencer.

“Derek?” Spencer tiredly said. “What are you doing up?”

“Just needed some water, that is all.” Derek said his half truth-half lie. The young man shrugged and went towards the refrigerator.

Unknowingly, Derek started to tap his fingers against the dark grey laminate countertop. Spencer caught the sound with his ears and turned to face his boyfriend.

“Derek? Are you okay?”

“Yeah? Why wouldn’t I be okay?”

“Because you’re tapping your fingers across the countertop.” Spencer pointed out. When the tired genius mentioned the action, Derek immediately stopped, his eyes glancing at Spencer.

“We’re profilers, Derek. You can’t hide anything from me.” Spencer said, feeling concerned for his best friend. The mousy-haired man felt like a hypocrite after saying that to Derek. During the many years he worked with the handsome man in front of him, Spencer developed a crush on him. At first, it was just a silly little infatuation, but as time passed, it changed to being a crush. The young man was able to hide it well. That was until Derek reciprocated his feelings. That same crush turned into Spencer dating Derek. In these past few months, Spencer wanted to tell his angel of a boyfriend that he loved him, but he was scared that Derek would run away from him, just like everyone else in his life.

“Ha– you’re right, pretty Ricky,” Derek said in defeat, hanging his head low. Spencer came up behind Derek slowly, hesitant to show some affection to his probably scared boyfriend. He mustered up his own fears and gave Derek a hug from behind, and felt his boyfriend relaxing in his arms. The couple stood in silence for some time, savoring the unspoken quietness between them.

“Remember when you had to go in as bait for Cat Adams?” Derek asked, breaking the silence.

“Oh– yeah. Why are you asking?” Spencer responded, not getting the hint where the conversation was going.

“Two weeks since that case, I had these nightmares. I thought I could get through with it, but I can’t. My nightmare was about that. I dreamt that you were shot by Cat.” Derek explained.

“Derek…” Spencer felt shocked while his heart was breaking. He felt like he had to do something. But all he could do was sit and listen to his boyfriend get everything off his chest.

"I wish this is a nightmare that I could just wake up from... but it feels all real... and I hate every second of it. I felt like I was going to lose you when it actually happened,” Derek’s voice cracked a bit as tears pricked his deep brown eyes. “And I don’t want this to repeat. I wouldn’t forgive myself.”

“I won’t let it happen again,” Spencer quietly said, caresses Derek’s cheek. “We will make sure she stays in prison, alright?” Derek brought Spencer in for a long embrace. The mousy-haired man wrapped his arms around his athletic boyfriend’s waist as he placed his head in the crook of Derek’s neck. The soft warmth coming off of Derek comforted Spencer, clashing with her cold pale skin.

“I just uh…” Derek said tiredly.

“Yeah.” Spencer replied, smiling softly. He knew in his heart that Derek said “I love you” to him.

“You know?”

“I know.”

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