#what the fuck else are they supposed to do to make this more clearly alcohol

[theamazingannie]

Losing my mind over people arguing on Twitter that alcohol needs to be labeled better to avoid misunderstandings and THIS IS THE MAIN EXAMPLE THEY ARE ARGUING OVER

[koqabear]

Nights Like These

☆ Playlist! ☆

“It was tradition between you and your roommates to relax and drink together once a month. One day a month where you could forget about all your responsibilities and speak about whatever was on your mind. Confronting your undeniable attraction to said roommates was not what you were expecting on a night like this.”

Yeonjun x fem! reader x Taehyun

Genre: and they were roommates, a whopping 2k of “plot”, smut 

word count: 7.7K

Warnings: use of alcohol, mentions of food (they get tipsy at most) 

Smut warnings: dom! Yeonjun, Dom!taehyun, sub!mc, threesome, tae is packing !! (who else is shocked), exhibitionism/ voyeurism, teasing, reader is mentioned to be more vanilla / inexperienced, corruption (?), degrading, praise, pet names, (pretty girl, baby, cutie, etc.) masturbating, (fem) manhandling, biting, marking, grinding, oral, (fem rec.) breast play, fingering, hair pulling, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, messy handjobs, strength kink, dacryphilia, double vaginal penetration, scratching, bulge kink, size kink, possessiveness, dumbification, creampies , cockwarming (lemme know if I missed anything!)

Notes: How bizarre is it to have two regular warnings then a whole fucking paragraph of smut warnings? Only on my blog, I suppose. Listen to me, I’ve been meaning to write about double penetration on this godforsaken app but have been too scared to— I refuse to be silenced!! Enjoy while you can before it disappears from the tags!!

Nothing good came from nights like these. 

That still didn’t stop you from doing it, feeling yourself sink back more into the couch cushions as your grip tightens on your wine glass; you feel tipsy at most, and the drink in your hand is tamer in comparison to the nights where you and your roommates would go through bottles of soju and order takeout after a particularly stressful day.

On nights like those, where you were too drunk to properly clean up after yourselves, nothing good ever happened. There are too many incidents of you spilling your drinks all over the floor, waking up to a sticky floor that would have you scolded badly by your friends— not to mention the number of drunk rambles your two roommates have gone on, confessing things that would change your perception of them if you were lucky enough to remember it. 

Tonight was one of those nights. 

“Well, it wasn’t ever anything serious,” Yeonjun said, pausing to take another sip of his drink. Tonight wasn’t as bad as the other nights, and you’d like to chalk it all up to the fact that you haven’t really drunk much. But it was enough to loosen Yeonjun’s tongue, sitting back in amusement as you listened to him tell you two stories of his delinquent days, “But I seriously stressed out my mom back then. I feel so bad for her honestly, I don’t know how she put up with me.” 

“I guess that makes sense,” Taehyun says, sitting on the floor and leaning on the coffee table as he grabs a slice of pizza— it’s probably gone cold now, given the fact that the two can never stop talking whenever they drink, “no wonder you’re such a freak.” 

Yeonjun seems to bristle at his friend’s comments, crossing his arms defensively as he glares down at Taehyun. “What the hell do you mean by that?” 

They seem to be communicating as Taehyun gives him a knowing look. It only serves to make you curious as Yeonjun’s ears turn red, clearly defeated as he chooses to take a sip from his drink. The sight is enough to make you laugh, giggly as always as you lean forward clumsily. 

“What?” You say, looking between your two friends to see if you can pry out any information from them, “What’re you guys talking about?”

“Nothing just,” Yeonjun clears his throat, downing his glass as he leans forward to place it down on the table, “just some embarrassing shit I used to do, I don’t think you’d wanna hear about it.”

“Oh, but Taehyun would?” You say, raising a brow as you look towards the said man; he’s smiling, mischievous and tempting as his eyes sparkle cutely under the lights— almost giving him an aura of innocence, if you didn’t know any better, “come on, try me. We’ve known each other long enough, right?” 

“Mmm. It’s just this one time,” Taehyun starts, pausing to take a bite of pizza as he tries to gauge Yeonjun’s reaction; you glance at him, but he refuses to look at you, covering his face in embarrassment as you’re still able to pick up on the red tinge of his cheeks, “I caught Yeonjun and one of his girls fucking, that’s all… It happened multiple times actually, had me thinking it wasn’t an accident at some point. Weird time, honestly.”

“She was really into it, okay?” Yeonjun admits, attempting poorly to defend himself as his hands come away from his face. He’s clearly flustered, his hair a mess with how much he’s been running his hands through it as he listened to Taehyun tell you his story.

“Yeah? Was it because of me? Because I’ve never heard this happening with any of our other friends,” Taehyun is clearly provoking Yeonjun as the two begin to bicker, casually spilling truths that have your eyes widening in surprise. 

There he goes again— Yeonjun has dropped a fact on you so casually as you try to pretend that it doesn’t affect you at all; this time, it seems to have been revealed that Yeonjun is quite the exhibitionist. 

“Don’t act like you were quick to leave, either,” Yeonjun says, words beginning to slur slightly as he points an accusing finger at the younger man. 

“I won’t deny that,” Taehyun is the definition of evil as he grins, biting his lip slightly as he glances at you, “I won’t deny that she was cute— and who am I to refuse a free show?”

Okay, this is all taking a strange turn; you knew the two men before you knew each other way longer than they knew you, and had a very close relationship in turn, but this seemed a little too much for you— you really hadn’t been expecting Taehyun to confess that he was into watching when you pressured him into telling Yeonjun’s secret. 

It’s not like you’ve never talked about your little sexcapades, as Yeonjun likes to call them, but you never truly feel ready for them as you usually find them on the more intense side, your experiences put to shame as it all usually ranges on the more vanilla side. 

Maybe that’s why you find yourself feeling a bit hot— that, and the copious amount you’ve drunk tonight, you tell yourself, gulping nervously as you try to ignore that the way they’ve begun to go into detail isn’t affecting you. At all. 

“Dude, do you have any idea how many times she would ask to invite you?” Yeonjun groaned, throwing his head back against the couch at the very thought, “I seriously thought she was into you instead of me.” 

“I wouldn’t mind sharing,” Taehyun says, the cheeky comment immediately getting a shut the fuck up, in return from Yeonjun. It’s a bit embarrassing when you jump as Taehyun’s eyes land on you again, trying to pretend it didn’t happen as Taehyun only chuckles at your state, “What’s wrong, why are you so quiet? Did we freak you out?”

“No, just…” you clear your throat attempting to not let your flustered state show as you shrug casually, “Just didn’t think you guys would be into that.”

“Oh, you wouldn’t be?” If you didn’t know better, you’d think Yeonjun was genuinely curious as he leans forward, laying on the opposite end of the couch as he tilts his head like a puppy. He’s well beyond tipsy, his pouty lips stained and his eyes lidded as his bangs fall into his eyes; a reminder of how good he looks with long hair hits you suddenly, your stomach churning as you desperately try to keep these thoughts under lock and key. 

“I— I don’t know,” you say, biting your lip at the stutter you accidentally let slip through, “what kind of question is that?” 

“Well, we’ve told you a bit about us,” Taehyun says, his foot tapping rhythmically at the table leg as his gaze doesn’t break away from yours, “just think it’d be fair to hear a bit about you, no?”

This was dangerous territory. This type of conversation was usually only breached when you knew you wouldn’t be able to remember it the next day, but men before you are way too experienced to let a few glasses of wine get to them— they were definitely teasing you. 

Was this a normal thing to talk about between friends? Usually, you wouldn’t think much of it; you can think of plenty of times when you’ve all expressed your own stories, unadulterated and light-hearted as you all shared a laugh about it. But this, it definitely felt different; you’re not sure why, but maybe it’s because of the way you can’t help pressing your legs together, your mind beginning to stray as you take in the intensity of their eyes— dark, dangerous, still waiting for an answer as you clear your throat shyly. 

“I dunno, I’m pretty open to trying new things,” you say, trying to change the subject as you stare down at your empty glass, “Tae, could you pass me the bottle?”

Taehyun is quick to heed your request, scooting closer to you to pass you the bottle; you think you might just be going insane when he takes this chance to grab onto your hand, tugging at it slightly so you’re leaning towards him. The way you gulp nervously isn’t lost on Taehyun as he smiles tenderly, his chest pressing against your bare thigh as you try to ignore the way he’s practically laying on you.

“Are you drunk already?” Taehyun asks, ever a tease as he leans in closer to take a closer look at your face, “You’re usually a lot more talkative than this.”

“No,” you say, oddly defensive as you pull away from him; curling up in the corner of the couch, you huff, pouring yourself another glass as you ignore the way the two men grin at your shy state, “what do you expect me to say?” 

“You usually contribute a lot more to our conversations,” Yeonjun muses, scooting closer to you as he watches you avoid his eyes, opting to take another sip from your glass instead, “plus, weren’t you the one that was so eager to hear about my past?”

“When I asked, I was expecting crime stories or something,” you say, your tongue loosened as you look at your friend directly in his eyes, “not stories about you two sharing a girl.” 

There’s something in Yeonjun’s gaze that darkens as he hears you say that. You can practically feel the stares of your two friends burning into your skin as you clear your throat awkwardly, trying to not shift as Yeonjun only scoots closer to you; he’s sitting at your feet now, his arm thrown over the couch as he makes himself comfortable, a cocky smile slowly growing on his face as he speaks.

“Oh, we never shared her,” Yeonjun drawls, tilting his head at the very thought. Below you, Taehyun shakes his head, resting his chin on your thigh as he stares up at you with sparkling doe eyes, clearly tipsy by the way his cheekbones are flushed pink, “she wasn’t special enough for that.”

“You practically did,” you say, shivering at the way Yeonjun runs a hand up your thigh, stopping as he begins to play with the hem of your sweater— the same sweater that Yeonjun and Taehyun are matching with you now, a stupid gift you got them for Christmas and never really expected them to wear. 

Yeonjun can only huff out a laugh at your little comment. You look so cute as you’re cradling your glass, unsure of what else to do as you take another drink out of nervous habit, eventually downing the rest of it. Despite your tense demeanor, your eyes give you away, a dim curiosity showing through as you allow the two men to get closer still. 

“What, you don’t like the idea?” Yeonjun whispers, feeling the way you’re shifting underneath his touch as he gets closer to you, “Would it be too much for someone like you?” 

Someone like you. Someone who wasn’t as experienced or active as them, who preferred to stay with what you knew instead of trying something dangerous and experimenting. 

“No,” you bluffed, refusing to back down as you listened to the two men before you chuckle at your words, “I could handle it.”

“Could you really?” Yeonjun asks, pulling away as you feel your body yearning for his warm presence again, “I don’t believe you.” 

There are so many ways things could go now— a single choice could change the way you see your roommates forever, your heart pounding against your chest as you let out a shaky sigh. 

“What am I supposed to do?” You sigh out shakily, watching the way the remaining droplets in your glass swish around, averting your eyes to avoid their reactions, “prove it to you?” 

“Show us.” 

Your head practically snaps up at Yeonjun’s words. Your mouth has gone dry and you feel as though your tongue has gone numb, unable to articulate any words as you simply give your friend a dumbfounded stare. 

A pause ensues; they wait patiently, giving you a moment to back out and leave if you want to. But even then, they can’t ignore the way your thighs press together impatiently, your throat bobbing as you finally part your lips to speak. 

“Show you?”

The way the men chuckle at your state is downright degrading— and it makes you stifle a whine that threatens to creep up your throat, feeling insanely aroused the longer they take to say or do anything. It’s like they’re trapping you in, feeling small under their gaze as Yeonjun glances down at the pathetic excuse of shorts that cover your legs. 

“Show us you can take it, baby.” Slowly, you nod, allowing Taehyun to take your empty glass from you as your fingers slowly slip under the waistband of your shorts, proceeding to pull them off you. You feel so exposed as you watch the way their eyes follow your every move, gulping for the nth time tonight as you keep your panties on; the way they eye the cute lace has you clenching your legs nervously, unsure of what to do before Yeonjun is reaching out to pry your legs open gently.

“Come on cutie, don’t be shy,” Yeonjun smiles, an action ever so sweet and tempting as he spots the way you’ve made a wet spot on your panties. Taehyun is encouraging as he slowly takes your hand, allowing him to lead you down and place it right over your core before he’s placing his hand over your own, practically engulfing it as he forces you to apply pressure to your pussy.

“Can you show us how you touch yourself, pretty?” 

Their cute nicknames for you are enough to have you melting under their every command, feeling the way your legs open on their own, eager to follow their orders as your hand practically disappears under Taehyun’s. You still can’t help but feel shy under their watchful gaze as you slide your hand under your waistband, your eyes meeting with Yeonjun’s as the pad of your fingertips meets your clit; you jump at the sudden feeling, your mouth falling open as you slowly begin to circle the bud. 

You feel so powerful as you watch the two men become infatuated with you, unable to take their eyes off you for a second as you allow your middle and ring finger to run over your slit— the wet noises that come from it have Yeonjun biting his lip tensely, shifting in his seat as his eyes dart down to where your hand has disappeared. 

Your chest juts out at a particularly harsh touch on your clit— the material of your sweater is thin and pastel, and it allows both your friends to watch the way your nipples poke through, unable to help the way their eyes widen at the fact that you haven’t been wearing a bra all night. 

Yeonjun thinks he might go insane; the sight of you is so sweet and fragile as he watches the way you slowly fuck yourself, a broken whimper escaping you as your fingertips begin to tease your entrance. Beneath you, Taehyun is doing no better, able to get a closer look at your pussy as he watches the material dampen, wanting nothing more than to rip the material off and get a proper view of you toying with your pretty cunt.

After a moment, you decide it’s not enough. Your eyes can’t help but stray as you take in how big the hands of the two men before you are in comparison to yours, feeling your pussy clench uncontrollably at the thought of having either of them touch you instead. The moan you let out is weak and pathetic as you reach your free hand to Yeonjun, tugging at his sleeve until he’s scooting closer to you, eyes hazed and lips parted as he takes in your broken face.

“More,” you whine out, tugging at his sleeve as you bring him closer, until you can feel his breath fan against your face and graze your lips against his, “need more. Please.”

You can taste the wine on Yeonjun’s lips as you finally gather the strength to close the gap between the two of you. The taste only becomes more prominent as he pushes his tongue past your lips, allowing you to tangle your free hand into his hair as you begin bucking your hips uselessly into your hands— you can only whine weakly at the way Yeonjun leaves you messy and breathless, pulling away as his swollen and shiny lips come into view. 

“Fuck, come here,” he breathes out, grabbing onto your hand and tugging you roughly as you allow him to situate you however he likes— it ends with you seated comfortably on his lap, your ass pressing against his clear erection as he drapes your legs over his thighs; you’re practically spread open as Taehyun situates himself between the two of you, on his knees and staring up with you with such a dark and dangerous gaze that has your cunt clenching around nothing. 

“God, look at you,” Yeonjun breathes out into your ear, resting his chin on your shoulder as his hands rub teasingly on your thighs. You jump at the sensitive feeling, trying to close your legs on instinct, only for it to fail as Yeonjun’s strong thighs keep you spread open. Taehyun is only able to laugh at your pathetic state, leaning in closer to your pussy as his eyes never leave yours— he’s so close, almost able to touch you as you rock your hips toward him subtly. 

“Dripping all over me when we’ve barely even started,” Yeonjun’s words are lazy and slurred together as he leaves kisses on the column of your neck, sloppy and wet as he goes to leave marks all over you. 

Wordlessly, Taehyun reaches forward to plant a soft kiss on your panty-covered cunt. The feeling is enough to have you throwing your head back against Yeonjun’s shoulder, your panties practically stuck to you with how needy you are. With every rock of your hips, Yeonjun groans into your ear, feeling your ass press perfectly against his cock, unable to help the way he thrusts up into you, enjoying the way you yelp cutely at the feeling, jolting in his lap from the sheer action. 

Your eyes are fluttering shut the moment Taehyun’s mouth connects with your cunt. He’s making a mess of the pretty lace panties you have on, practically making out with your pussy as he presses his warm tongue on your slit, pushing against the fabric and dragging it up before he’s stopping at your clit. You’re a whining and moaning mess by now, unable to control the way your face contorts with pleasure as Taehyun sucks your clit, hearing the way your moans pick up as he runs his tongue over the fabric teasingly. 

Your panties are an absolute mess by the time he’s pulling away, and Taehyun can’t hide the way the sight is clearly affecting him— your pussy is practically outlined against the fabric, the garment skewed as the pretty bow by your navel practically begs him to unwrap you like a present. 

He does so gladly; both men are groaning weakly as they watch the way as a string of your arousal remains connected to your panties, a weak whimper escaping you as you feel Yeonjun lift your hips with no effort— you’re practically staining his sweatpants the moment he’s sitting you back down, and it certainly doesn’t help that you can still feel his hip rutting into the swell of your ass occasionally, wrapping a secure arm around your waist before he’s pulling you flush against his chest. 

“So soft,” Yeonjun mutters, his hand that was wrapped around your waist sneaking under the hem of your sweater and moving up to grope your beasts; you can’t help the way you mewl as you feel his cold hands on your nipples, sensitive to the way he plays with them, as though he knows your body like the back of his hand.

His other hand is reaching down to your pussy, his deep chuckle hitting your ears as you jump when his fingers come in contact with your cunt; before you realize what he’s doing, you feel him spreading you open with his two fingers, a glob of arousal escaping you as you feel his other hand reach down and tug your sweater over your chest— you’re left displayed perfectly to Taehyun, spread out prettily for him as he’s left to enjoy the sight.

“Isn’t she pretty?” Yeonjun hums out softly, rubbing his fingers up and down your slit as the wet sounds ring around the room. Taehyun can only groan at the sight, ever so weak for your pussy as he finally leans in to get a taste. 

Yeonjun’s other hand has left your breasts. Instead, it traveled up to get a hold of your chin, forcing you to look down and gaze at the way Taehyun’s head was stuck between your thighs; Yeonjun keeping you spread open for him, feeling the way Taehyun’s tongue lapped at you teasingly. 

“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” Yeonjun whispers in your ear, like a dirty secret no one else should know as he begins humping against you at a steady pace, “Love being our cute little attention whore?” 

The way you agree to his words without hesitation should be embarrassing— but it’s not, especially with the way Taehyun is leaving you speechless, his tongue teasing at your entrance before he’s finally fucking it into you. 

He’s so sloppy and eager as he allows your arousal to coat his face, moving it side to side and listening to the way you moan whenever his nose bumps against your clit. Yeonjun holds you open all the while, and the way Taehyun pulls away to slurp lewdly at your arousal leaves you warm and flustered as you tuck your head into Yeonjun’s neck. 

It doesn’t take you long before the said man is pulling you back away, keeping his hold on your face firm as he watches the way your face changes intently, his hand moving away from your pussy to rub your thigh soothingly. 

“Look at you, such a pretty thing, letting yourself get used by us,” Yeonjun mutters, his voice dark as he places soft kisses all over your face; it’s a stark contrast to the way Taehyun only becomes more eager to hear you cum, his swollen lips sucking eagerly at your clit as you feel his tongue run ruthlessly over it all the while. 

“You have no idea how much I’ve thought of you. How hard it was to ignore these feelings, to pretend like I wouldn’t love to fuck you senseless,” Yeonjun’s confessions have a fire of desire licking all throughout your body, hearing the way he stumbles over his words, unable to take his eyes away from the scene before him, “I felt so guilty when I saw you, so cute and perfect, innocent to the fact that we’ve wanted you for so long.”

You’re a mess under their hands as the sudden confessions take you by surprise, whimpering out weakly that you’ve felt the same— Taehyun’s eyes flick up to meet yours for a second, tilting his head before he’s practically making out with your pussy slowly, the feeling of his tongue all over you making you reach down and tug his hair thoughtlessly; the moan he lets out from the feeling is enough to bring you close to your climax, unable to control yourself as you begin to roll your hips against his face. 

“Yeah? Do you think about us a lot?” Yeonjun whines teasingly in your ear, mimicking you and smiling as you moan out a weak y-yes! 

“Do you touch yourself to the thought of us?” Yeonjun’s questions are dangerous to your fuzzy mind as you nod frantically, weak to his voice as you find yourself confessing things you never thought you ever would. 

“God, I do too,” Yeonjun groans, his cock pressing against you as he reaches down to keep your hips still, bringing you back against him as you remain victim to the way Taehyun licks your pussy mercilessly. You think your mind has gone blank the moment his fingers sneak in to prod at your entrance, the way he messily kisses and sucks at your clit your downfall as you let out one last moan— you’re stilling against his face as he lets you ride out your orgasm, weak whimpers and cries streaming from your lips as you weakly cry out that it’s too much. 

Taehyun only listens to your commands once he feels you pushing at his face weakly, your eyes fluttering open weakly and your chest heaving as you lock gazes with Taehyun— you feel beyond flustered at the way his lips and chin shine with your arousal, his tongue slowly darting out to lick it all off before he’s leaning in to place a gentle, feather-like kiss at your inner knee. 

“I’ve thought about having you like this for so long,” Yeonjun breathes out, his hand reaching down to play with your pussy teasingly; he ignores the way you keen softly at his touch, still sensitive from your previous orgasm as he begins to put on a show for Taehyun— the said man only sits back on his heels, hands on your knees as he watches your face with a dark expression. 

Yeonjun’s fingers are long and cool against your walls; the stretch is enough to make you moan out weakly, falling limp against Yeonjun as you let him set up a gentle pace. You shiver with every motion he does, flinching when he curls his fingers to press against your sweet spot cruelly, focusing on it as he immediately notices your reaction. 

His lips that were once soothing against your neck have now become harsh, leaving bites and marks that bloom on your skin prettily— the sight of you marked up and leaking desperately for him is enough to have him trying to not fuck you senselessly right that second— instead, you can feel him beginning to thrust against you, his cock fully hard as he nuzzles his head into your neck.

“Please,” you beg, breathy and useless as Taehyun stands up to tower over you; his cock is straining against his sweats as he places careful hands on your waist, his chest heaving as he leans in to kiss you— you’re pulling him in desperately, hopelessly lost in the feeling of his plush lips and sharp teeth that dig into your flesh as Yeonjun begins to pick up the pace. 

You’re a mess at this point, unable to keep up with Taehyun as your mouth is left open, moans swallowed up by Taehyun as you let him kiss you senselessly, feeling Yeonjun still nibbling at your neck as you try to ignore the fact that you’re practically drooling at the way he’s fingering you, his palm rubbing against your clit as he brings you closer to your second orgasm of the night.

Nothing is piecing itself together in your mind at this point— Taehyun is panting against your mouth, and you realized that it’s because you’ve managed to slip a hand through his sweats, guided by him as you finally got a hold of his cock. You don’t remember doing such a thing, but your mind is nothing but a haze as you take in the way he’s continuously dripping precum from his head, your hand sticky as you feel him straining against the fabric of his boxers. 

“Don’t stop, please don’t stop,” you manage to whine out, unsure of who you may be talking to as your mouth is swallowed up by Taehyun’s kiss again— your free hand reaches down to grip Yeonjun’s forearm, your hips stuttering against his movements as you feel your brain going fuzzy. You know it’s more than the alcohol at this point as you feel Taehyun pulling away from you, watching as you fall apart on Yeonjun’s fingers and cum for the second time tonight. 

Your hand has gone limp against Taehyun’s cock; it isn’t until you’re regaining your breath that you’re pulling your hand out from the confines of his sweats, staring at the sticky mess on your fingers before you lock eyes with Taehyun— he thinks he could come untouched as he watches the way your tongue begins to clean up the mess, circling the muscle around your delicate fingers until there’s nothing left. 

“Shit, you’re so fucking dirty,” Yeonjun sighs out, hips still rutting against you as his fingers have yet to leave your cunt; you might just start crying when you feel him beginning to stretch you out, scissoring you slowly as he grins at the wet sounds your pussy is making for him. 

“Need you to fuck me,” you find yourself whining, your back arching at the way Yeonjun continues to toy with you, the feeling agonizing as he begins to tease the tips of his fingers at your entrance, “want both of you.” 

“Both of us?” Taehyun laughs, finally speaking to you after being a bystander for so long, “Baby, I don’t think you could handle that.” 

“No, I can, I really can,” you cry out, tugging his sweater softly and pawing his chest as you begin to beg weakly, “wanna feel you both, I can take it.” 

Yeonjun and Taehyun are exchanging silent looks— they’re communicating, it seems, unsure of what to do as you continue to ramble on weakly, unable to get your eyes off of Taehyun’s cock that clearly strains against his sweats. It takes a second before they’re finally coming to a conclusion, your body erupting in shivers as they turn their attention back on you. 

“Can you really take it sweet thing?” Yeonjun is mumbling against your skin, placing gentle kisses along your shoulder as Taehyun goes to sit down beside you; you’re nodding, hazy and clumsy as you run your hands down Taehyun’s chest, sneaking under the hem before you’re tugging his shirt up and exposing his perfect muscles. 

It’s no secret Taehyun loved to work out— but seeing him here, tan skin and rippling muscles ready to be marked by your lips, made you so incredibly needy, enjoying the way he shivers as you run a curious hand over his abdomen and biceps. 

“Curious?” Taehyun asks, shifting so that he’s sitting back against the couch; he looks so attractive as he looks up at you, hair splayed out on the end armrest of the couch while his legs remain spread out like a tempting seat— you can’t help the way your face feels hot as he pulls you towards him, his strength easily allowing him to manhandle you into position as you’re straddling his lap, right above his cock as your sweater falls back over your chest messily. 

“So damn pretty,” Taehyun mutters, breathless as he stares up at your fucked out form; you could say the same thing about him, but you’d rather express it in your actions as you attempt to grind down against him, only for it to be stopped by his firm grip on your hips. 

“Don’t you wanna feel the real thing, pretty?” Taehyun grins, shifting around so he’s able to take off the rest of his clothes, left bare under you as watches you nod needily, feeling a whine escape you as you finally get to see his cock; for a second, you understand why Taehyun had been so doubtful of your ability, eyeing the sheer size and girth of him as you inevitably feel yourself clenching around nothing. His tip is leaking from the sight of you, red and throbbing as his mind begs nothing more than to be inside you and fuck you senseless. 

Instead, he waits for you to make a move, biting his lip as he watches the way your hand looks small as you wrap it around his shaft; he hisses as you slowly align him with your entrance, rubbing him against your slit as you whimper at the way your cum runs down his cock. 

“Jesus, you’re so…” Taehyun is unable to finish his thought as you’re sinking down on him, the hiss you two share at the feeling lethal as he feels the way your walls flutter around his cock uncontrollably. 

Tight. Warm. Wet. Taehyun’s mind is racing as he lets out a loud groan the moment you’re touching the base of his cock, eyes shutting as he tries to focus on not coming inside you immediately. You’re doing no better than him, whining uncontrollably as you grind on him softly, unable to help yourself as you take in the way he stretches you out so well. 

“Shit, I don’t think I’ll last if you keep squeezing me like this pretty girl,” Taehyun breathes out, a sweat forming on his forehead as his hair begins to stick to his skin. All you can do is whine in return, slowly picking up your hips before you’re slamming back down on him— you can’t help but be loud at the feeling, Taehyun sharing the same feelings as you as he lets out a choked moan; your pace is brutally slow as you begin adjusting to his size, the wet sounds of skin on skin and your pathetic sounds driving Taehyun mad as he does his best to thrust up into you in return.

“Cute little pussy is so loud,” Yeonjun says, emerging behind you as he wraps his arms around you, your legs tiring out as you’ve slowed down to nothing but a pathetic grind. His hands find their way under your sweater again before he’s pulling it off you, your pretty tits finally revealed to them as Yeonjun doesn’t waste a second to palm at them. 

“Want you,” you mutter, breathless as you lean back against Yeonjun’s chest, “want you right now.” 

“Oh baby, I don’t think you could handle that,” Yeonjun coos in your ear, pitying the way your eyes shine with needy tears as you shake your head in refusal, “you can barely handle Taehyun as it is.”

“N…no,  I can—!” Taehyun is teasing as he thrusts up into you, jolting your body as you cry out pitifully. You can’t seem to back down though, dead set on feeling both your roommates inside you at once as you reach behind to grab Yeonjun’s bulge, “please? Please please please, I can take it, I promise I can…” 

You know Yeonjun is only teasing you as he takes a moment to think, enjoying the way your clumsy hand attempts to palm him, much too distracted by the way Taehyun has begun to roll his hips up into you. Gently, he takes a hold of your face, turning you to look at him as he captures you in a slow kiss; you feel as though you’re being devoured when you can feel Yeonjun shifting behind you, finally pulling away before he’s smiling at you sweetly. 

You’re forced to face forward again as Yeonjun places firm hands on your shoulders, pushing you forward until you’re chest to chest with Taehyun; the new position has you whimpering softly, burying your face in Taehyun’s neck as you feel him rocking his hips up into you subtly. 

“Since you asked so nicely…” Yeonjun trails off, enjoying the way you flinch as he prods his tip at your already stuffed entrance, a long moan drawn out of you as he begins to push in.

The stretch is enough to have your eyes rolling to the back of your head, clawing at Taehyun’s shoulders as he grunts at the feeling— both of your scratches and Yeonjun situating himself beside Taehyun. You’re incredibly tight as Yeonjun pushes forward, going inch by inch as he watches you intently for any signs of discomfort. He’s almost bottomed out when you squeeze the two of them, your grip like a vice as the two men let out loud moans, filling your ears like music and causing you to clench again. 

The pleasure is enough to make you dizzy as you slowly push yourself up on your hands, hovering over Taehyun who simply looks at you with hungry eyes. You can feel yourself going in for another kiss, only to crash down against Taehyun’s chest as Yeonjun thrusts the rest of himself in, his hips meeting yours as you yelp against Taehyun’s collarbones. 

Your whines and whimpers don’t seem to cease for a second as the two men begin to grind into you, shakily trying to push yourself up again before you find your strength failing you; it’s Taehyun who pushes you up gently, cupping your face with such tenderness that you can’t help the way you grow teary-eyed, overwhelmed with pleasure yet still wanting more as you allow Taehyun to direct you into a sweet kiss. 

It doesn’t take long before you grow lax against him, feeling Yeonjun slowly pull out before he’s beginning to thrust shallowly into you. Taehyun remains still all the while, his breathy moans and quiet groans of pleasure barely reaching your ears as you rock against his body, your clit being stimulated as you cry at the pleasure. 

“Look at you, barely able to handle it,” Yeonjun moans breathily, sneaking a hand between your and Taehyun’s bodies as he’s pressing against your stomach, able to feel the bulge that’s formed as both he and Taehyun groan, “are we too big for you baby?”

In a daze, you nod. You feel so full. So, so so full and stretched out as Yeonjun’s other hand goes on your hip, guiding you back into him as praises and filth exit his mouth in a continuous stream. You can’t help the way your pussy flutters with every word, his moans only riling you up more as you wish you could feel him more against you; your wish comes true as he hovers over you, his chest against your back as he slowly grinds into you, placing feather-like kisses along your shoulder blades as he drinks up your sounds of pleasure. 

Beneath you, Taehyun slowly begins to pull out; your eyes squeeze shut at the feeling, your grip on him tightening for a second as he slowly thrusts back into you. The two men slowly begin to find their pace as you grow accustomed to them, your body relaxed and pliant as they fuck you dumb. 

“So perfect, so good,” Yeonjun pants behind you, shutting his eyes tight at the way it feels to be inside you, to be able to feel Taehyun’s cock rubbing against his as well, “god, such a good girl, looks like you really can take it.”

His praise is unrelenting as he watches the way your body rocks from the way they fuck you; there’s a white ring that’s beginning to form on his cock as his eyes fall down to your stretched hole, brows furrowing at the sight of you leaking uncontrollably, the liquid running all over Taehyun’s cock and onto the couch. The sight alone is enough to have him fucking into you rougher, taking both you and Taehyun by surprise as you weakly fall apart under him.

Taehyun isn’t able to kiss you anymore— there’s not a single thought in your mind as your mouth falls open, face screwing up in pleasure as you tuck your head into the crook of Taehyun’s neck, finding solace in the space as you absentmindedly begin to suck and bite marks onto his skin. The thought of seeing the aftermath of everything you did to him later has Taehyun thrusting up into you with more desperation, eager to hear you fall apart on them as you begin to babble about how good it all feels. 

“Yeah? Feels good? I know pretty, I know,” Taehyun coos, wrapping an arm around your waist and pressing you flat against him as he kisses your shoulder. You’re practically being pushed around as Taehyun begins to shift under you, their movements ceasing as he begins to adjust his position, your tiny whines about not wanting them to stop being shushed by Taehyun as he tugs on your hair softly. 

“Be quiet baby, before you regret it,” Taehyun whispers in your ear, his heels digging into the sofa as you ignore him and continue to complain; as a result, he begins to thrust into you harshly, able to jackhammer into you as Yeonjun begins to do the same— it’s hard to go as fast as he wants to when you’re stuffed full, but Taehyun knows it’s enough by the way you grab onto him desperately, your mouth falling open as unabashed moans begin to fall from you. 

“Shit, our pretty girl,” Yeonjun groans, feeling himself twitch inside you as you blindly reach back to him, searching for his hand as he finally takes it; his fingers interlock with yours, pulling you back into him and Taehyun as he laughs at your pitiful state, “All ours. Won’t be able to get fucked again unless it’s by us.”

“We ruined you for anyone else,” Taehyun continues, reaching for your face as he’s forcing you to look at him; you’re unstable, a hand planted on his chest and the other holding onto his shoulder as you’re rocked back and forth by them, your face a mess as drool escapes the corner of your lips— you’ve been fucked absolutely stupid as you clench at their words, feeling your high approaching again as you feel hot tears escaping your eyes. 

“Holy shit Yeonjun, wish you could see this right now,” Taehyun laughs, slowing his pace down as he turns your face to look at Yeonjun; the said man only grins at you, cooing mockingly as he chases a stray tear away— he can’t help but be endeared at the way they pool at your eyes, running quickly down your cheeks and clinging onto your chin before they’re falling on your tits and Taehyun’s chest; you’re a complete mess as you choke back on a sob, head hanging at the way they keep fucking you throughout it. 

“We fucked her stupid,” Taehyun breathes out, bouncing you on him as he thrusts up harshly, listening to the way your cries pick up as you approach your orgasm. 

“Completely ruined,” Yeonjun breathes out, never thinking that he’d be able to see you like this. Laughing, he picks up his pace again, able to feel the way his cock begs for release as you clench down mercilessly against the two of them— you’re so close and they can feel it, your cunt a vice as you practically push them out with every clench of your walls. 

“You won’t fuck anyone else but us,” Yeonjun growls out, his hands turning possessive as his fingers dig into your hips, “ruined for everyone else but us. Isn’t that right, pretty?”

Clumsily, you nod, the action barely visible from how much your body is already rocking from his thrusts. But Yeonjun is still able to see it, feeling the way Taehyun picks up his pace as well as he chokes back a loud groan. 

“Say it. Say you’re ruined for us, that you’re all ours now.” 

“I— I’m—“ you’re barely able to get out a coherent word with how well you’re being fucked, your voice quivering pathetically as Taehyun cranes his neck to be able to suck on your pretty skin, biting onto your neck harshly and leaving bruises he’ll definitely be admiring later.

“Come on, we know you can do it pretty,” Taehyun encourages, his brows furrowed as he can feel his cock begin to twitch inside you, the feeling of Yeonjun’s tip brushing against his own making him sensitive as it becomes harder to keep his pace. 

“I’m yours!” You cry out, babbling uselessly as you feel like you’ll snap at any moment, “I’m yours, only yours— don’t want anyone else’s cock, you both fuck me so good, I’m only yours— all ruined—“ 

Your rambles are enough to set Yeonjun off, feeling him thrust into you harshly before he’s bottoming out, his chest pressed flush against your back as he rests his forehead between your shoulder blades; his moans are breathy and ticklish against your skin as you feel him filling you with his cum, an endless stream as his cock continues to spurt inside you ruthlessly. 

The action is enough to set you and Taehyun off like a chain reaction, feeling the band in your stomach snap before you’re practically seeing white, falling limp on top of Taehyun who quickly comes after you— he’s moaning loudly against the crown of your head as he bottoms out as well, still feeling Yeonjun coming inside you as he becomes next; you’re practically stuffed as their cum begins to leak out of you, your hole fluttering pathetically around them as they groan weakly at the action. 

“Shit…” you’re unsure of who it is that breathes that out, on the verge of blacking out as you try to regain your breath. You still feel as though none of it has settled in your mind yet, the tipsy feeling of the alcohol in your bloodstream rendering you entirely useless after being fucked into oblivion. 

You trust Yeonjun and Taehyun to be the ones to come back to their senses and clean up, but you’re unsure if that should be the case as you’re beginning to feel Taehyun’s breath even out under you— a weak smack on his chest is enough to startle him awake, barely conscious yourself as you try to pretend that Taehyun’s strong arms that wrap around your middle and Yeonjun’s kisses that span along your back isn’t enough to lull you to sleep. 

It definitely is. You have yet to feel either of them pull out of you yet, but all you can do is hope and pray that you won’t be having another spilled drink incident when you wake up again. 

As you said, nothing good came from nights like these. 

(At least, tomorrow will be the judge of that.)

[thetriumphantpanda]

where have all the good men gone? | javier peña

Take The Weight Off His Shoulders - Chapter Three

Chapter Summary | A date, supposed to get your mind of Javier, goes terribly, and he's the only person you can think to call that will make anything better.

Chapter Warnings | Mutual pining, slow burn, sexual tension, flirting, alcohol consumption, protective!Javi, misogynistic comments (not from Javi), (1) man being a pushy douchebag (also not Javi), swearing, mentions of the drug trade - nothing else I can think of.

Pairing | dbf!Javier Peña x F!Reader

Word Count | 3k

Authors Note | I am truly having the most fun with these two and I hope you're enjoying their story so far! Things are definitely going to be heating up soon, so please hang in there, it'll be spectacular when they finally do get spicy with each other! If you're enjoying this then comments, asks and reblogs are my lifeblood and if you'd like to support me further, please consider a donation to my  Ko-Fi.

I no longer use taglists. Please follow @thetriumphantpandanotifs to be notified of new updates.

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist | Ko-Fi | Series Playlist

“I promise he’s good fun,” Liv’s voice speaks through the phone, cradled to your ear by your shoulder as you skim through your wardrobe, “Nice, and age appropriate.” She teases. 

“Shut up,” You grumble, still annoyed that you’ve allowed her to talk you into this at all, “This is still a terrible idea.” 

“You were the one complaining about Javier Peña being a bad idea,” She defends herself, “And you also could have said no, too late now.” 

You sigh because she’s right. You’ve been trying for the past week to convince yourself that finding someone else might make wanting Javier go away, even just a little bit. Someone your age, not entangled in your family dynamics, or at least you’re hoping anyway. Liv had suggested someone she knew from work, a nice boy, two years older than you, his head screwed on, a managerial position at work. Sensible. 

“I have no idea what to wear.” You groan down the phone, there are plenty of dresses you could choose, but somehow, it feels like this person you don’t know doesn’t deserve that of you. 

“Put those jeans on,” Liv speaks, crunching coming down the phone line, clearly she’s snacking like she always does, “The tight ones, makes your ass look phenomenal, and the lowest cut top you own.” 

“Liv,” You chastise, “I’ve never met him before, I’m not fucking him tonight.” 

“I didn’t suggest you did,” She chuckles, “Just give him a taste of what’s to come.” 

“Unbelievable,” You mutter, but follow her advice anyway, pulling out a shirt that cuts low, scooping out your jeans from the drawer, “Right, I gotta go and get ready, but if this is awful, you’re entirely to blame, okay?” 

“Hearing you loud and clear girl,” She chuckles, “Have fun and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” 

“Goodbye!” You chuckle, hanging up. 

It’s still light out, so you opt to walk to the bar in town. It’s not all that far, and the air has cooled enough by the time you leave that it doesn’t feel too stiflingly hot. The bar is not one you would have chosen, one of the more upmarket establishments in town. You wish you could go back to your normal dive bar, with its slightly sticky floor and the smell of fried food. You give him the benefit of the doubt though, maybe he’s just trying to impress you and you can’t fault him for that, can you? 

Liv told you he’d be sat at the bar in a blue shirt, and there’s only one person it can be when you get close enough, “Victor?” You ask, stood next to him. 

“The one and only,” He smiles at you, standing from the barstool to give you a hug, which you allow, “You look hot.” 

“Thanks,” You chuckle, sitting down on the stool next him, noticing a drink already there for you, it’s a cocktail, bright pink, and you know you’ll already hate it, and you do when you take a sip, wincing as the fruity blend moves down your throat, “Oh, it’s very sweet.” 

“I thought it was a safe option, most girls love this drink.” 

You’re tempted to make a comment about this clearly being his favourite place to bring his dates but you bite your tongue, working through the necessary small talk as you try and drink it as fast as you can so you can choose something you might actually enjoy. 

“So, Liv told me you’re a journalist,” He comments, sipping his glass of whiskey, “What kind of things do you write?” 

“I mainly cover news about the drug trade and how that affects the town.” You explain, taking the last sip of your drink, flagging the bartender down. 

“Pretty morbid,” He shrugs, ordering himself another whiskey as you opt for a margarita, “Surely a girl like you should be writing about fashion or something.” 

You scoff, “So I can’t write about things that are important to our town because I’m a woman?” 

“No, I don’t mean it like that,” He tries to backtrack, “Just that it’s intimidating, is all, might put people off,” He chuckles then, “Although not me, like my girls with a bit of personality.” 

You roll your eyes and don’t even try and hide it as you sip at your margarita, much better, you think. It carries on like that for another hour, Victor and his thinly veiled misogyny and his boring, surface level conversation. He tries at some point to put his hand on your knee, but you jerk away, moving so he can’t touch you. 

“You want another?” He asks when you finish your third drink, “The night is still young.”

“No thank you,” You say, trying to be as polite as possible, “I have work tomorrow so probably best to head home.” 

You try and insist that you pay for your part of the bill, but to his only credit, he insists on covering the tab but does then try and wrap his arm around your waist to walk you outside, which makes you want to hit him more than anything. 

You stand next to him on the pavement outside the bar as the doors close behind you. You can still hear everyone else talking inside, but you have no idea what to do. You want to go home, but it’s dark, and you know you’d told your dad that Victor would walk you home, but you don’t want to spend another minute in his company. 

“So, am I gonna get my goodnight kiss?” He asks, trying to take hold of your wrist to pull you into him. 

He’s stronger than you, so he does sort of succeed in pulling you into his body, but you manage to put your palm against his chest to push him back. 

“I don’t think so.” You cringe a little, trying to lean back as far as you can with his hand pulling your wrist. 

“You’re joking right?” He scoffs, “I paid for your drinks, try and be interested in what you said and you’re going to refuse me?” 

“Look, I don’t mean to be rude,” You speak, trying to talk the situation down, “I just don’t think this is gonna work.” 

“Don’t need to tell me,” He snaps, “Such a fucking tease turning up dressed like this, but you’re really just a prude.” 

“Oh fuck off man!” You try and push him again, succeeding in doing it enough for him to let go of your wrist so you can put some distance between you, “I don’t owe you shit.” 

“Forget it,” He turns around and walks away, leaving you on your own, “Probably would have been a shit lay anyway.” 

You’re tempted to call back but realise it’s not worth it, so you let him wander off, leaving you on the sidewalk on your own with no idea what to do now. You would walk home, but if your dad see’s you on your own, he’s going to kill you for being silly enough to walk home alone after dark, and then find Victor and kill him too for being a jerk. 

You slump against the brick wall of the bar, rooting through your bag, there’s enough cash to go back in and get a drink and try and calm down a little, then, your fingers brush against the card you’d slipped in there a few days ago. The name and the number, and the few coins in the bottom of your bag, draw you to the phone box at the end of the street. You’re putting the money in and dialing before you can convince yourself it’s a silly idea. 

He picks up on the third ring. 

“Peña.” It’s so formal. 

“Javi?” You ask, trying to keep your voice level, but ultimately failing. 

“Are you okay?” Is the first thing he asks, and he sounds frantic. 

“Y-yeah, I’m fine, I just-” God this seems so stupid now, mainly because you don’t want to admit you were on a date, you don’t want to make yourself seem unavailable to him, “I was on a date and it didn’t go well, he was meant to walk me home and well, I don’t want him to, but I don’t wanna call my dad.” 

“He hurt you?” He seems cross, protective even, which makes your tummy flutter. 

“N-no,” You sigh, “He got pushy when I wouldn’t kiss him but I’m fine.” 

You can hear him shuffling around on the other end of the phone, can hear the jangle of keys, “Where are you?” 

“I’m at the phone box at the end of Grant Street.” You say, you’re about to speak again when Javi beats you to it. 

“Stay there, go inside a store or something and wait for me, I’ll be there as soon as I can, okay?” 

“Okay,” You nod, like he can see you, “Javi?” 

“Yeah, querida?” 

“I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t you dare,” He scoffs, “Never apologise for needing my help, okay?” You can hear the sound of his truck engine in the background, “I gotta hang up to drive, but I’ll be there soon, promise.” 

“Okay,” You sniff, “Thank you.” 

You can hear the dial tone before he can reply, so you hang the receiver back up and head into the liquor store on the other side of the road. You smile at the clerk, who asks if you need anything, you shake your head, tell him you’re just waiting for someone and then spend the rest of the time looking out of the window. 

He’s parking up in a worryingly short amount of time, and as you walk from the store you worry that he put himself in danger driving so fast to get you. He’s opening his door and climbing down from the truck. As soon as you’re close enough, he’s got his hands on your shoulders, searching your face to make sure you’re alright. 

“I’m fine Javi, I promise,” You insist, holding gently to his arms, giving him a smile, “I’ve probably overreacted.” 

He lets his arm drops and signals for you to get into the truck, following swiftly, “If he made you uncomfortable it’s not an overreaction,” He speaks, turning the truck back on and pulling away, “He still around?” 

You shake your head, “I don’t think so.” 

“Good.” 

It makes you wonder if he means good because he won’t bother you anymore, or good because it means he won’t be tempted to do something about his blatant disrespect. You decide not to probe that one, but file it away for later. You’re driving down the street when your stomach grumbles, reminding you that you’ve not eaten since lunch. 

“You hungry?” 

“I could eat,” You mumble sheepishly, “I’m sure there’s something at home.” 

Javi nods, but drives straight past the turning he would need to take you home, driving straight on instead and turning off a little later. You’re about to ask where he’s taking you when he pulls into the parking lot at McDonalds. He parks up and tells you to stay where you are. 

You watch him as he walks away, perfectly broad back, shirt tucked into his jeans. He really is a vision in every way when you look at him. He’s striding back out a little while later, brown paper bag in one hand and a soda cup in the other. He passes them both to you as he climbs back into his seat. 

“What’s this?” You ask, taking a sip of the cold soda. 

“Cheeseburger, extra pickles and a Sprite with extra ice.” 

Yet again, he’s managed to amaze you with his observation skills. There was a time where he’d taken a trip with you and your parents, just a day out of town somewhere, and you’d stopped to get food on the way home, you’d made this exact order, turned to him and told him it was your favourite, and somehow he’d filed that away for right now, when you needed it the most. 

“Thank you.” You speak simply, reaching in for the burger, unwrapping it carefully before taking a bite. 

Javi can’t help but watch out of the side of his eye as you eat. God, you looked beautiful. Jeans that looked like they’d been painted onto your skin, showing off all those perfect parts of you. A shirt that was enticing without being too much. Fuck, he wanted to reach over, use his thumb to wipe away the tiny bit of sauce that had gathered in the corner of your mouth, push it into your mouth and let you lick it off his thumb. 

You ball up the wrapper your burger had come in once you’ve finished, dropping it into the paper bag, picking up the cup of soda to suck the Sprite through the straw, “You alright now?” He asks. 

You look at him, small, sad smile on your lips, “Just can’t help feeling there’s something wrong with me.” You shrug, offering him a sip of your drink which he declines. 

“What do you mean?” He asks, wanting to reach over to you, put a comforting hand on you, but deciding against it for now. 

You shrug a little, leaning your head back against the seat, “No-one ever looks at me in that way, I suppose,” You answer honestly, and he wants to tell you it isn’t true, that he thinks of you exactly like that, no matter how much he shouldn’t, “I’ve been with one guy in my whole life and I don’t think he ever really liked me, was only with me because I was the only one left out of my friends.” 

“Did he say that?” 

“He didn’t have to,” You shrug again, “He never really made an effort, never took me out, never really wanted to sleep with me much either, I guess I was just easy for him,” You say, “Convenient.” Is what you finish on. 

“It isn’t you,” Javi speaks, turning his head to look at you, resting it against his seat in much the same way you are, “First of all, college boys are always idiots, don’t let that be your base line,” You snort and turn your head to look at him now, “What did tonight’s idiot do?” 

You shake your head at him, “He was just a misogynistic asshole,” You add a shrug, “Apparently because I’m a woman I should write about fashion and not anything that actually matters.” 

Javi scoffs, because in his experience, women make the best journalists, quiet, unassuming but they always knew how to pull strings and get what they wanted and he doesn’t doubt you’re the same, “Take it as a compliment,” He offers, “Sometimes it’s best to intimidate boys, and the ones that you don’t?” He asks as a rhetorical question, “Those will be the men worth your time.”

You chuckle a bit, rolling your head on the headrest behind you to look back out of the front of the car, “You’re just saying this to make me feel better.” 

Javi reaches over, takes hold of your hand and gives it a slight squeeze before he’s letting it drop again, almost like he’s been burnt, like he knows he shouldn’t have done it, “I am saying it to make you feel better, that’s the whole point, but it’s true,” He shrugs a little in his seat, “Don’t feel like you’ve got to rush into that side of life either, you’re still young, there’s plenty of time for you.” 

You hum in agreement because you know he’s right, it’s what everyone always says to you in these circumstances, but somehow, coming from him, it means more. He’s older than you and although you’ve no doubt that he’s known plenty of women in his time, he’s in just the same predicament as you are. 

“Will you take me home?” You ask softly, “I’m tired.” 

He nods, starting up his car, pulling out of the parking lot and finally driving you back home. 

He pulls his truck up just down the street from your house, far enough away that your dad won’t be able to see, but close enough that he knows he’ll be able to sit and wait to watch you get in safely. He cuts the engine and turns to you, giving you a soft smile, trying to tell you that it’ll all be okay. 

“Thanks,” You speak softly, “For all this, made a shitty night not so bad in the end.” 

“Always,” He smiles back, “I mean it when I say you don’t ever need to worry about calling me.” 

“I know,” You smile, and he feels his heart swell at the sight, “Well, goodnight Javi.” 

He doesn’t really register what’s happening until it’s too late. You drag your body across the truck instead of moving to the door to open it and press a gentle kiss to his cheek. It would be innocent enough if it wasn’t for the fact your lips press into the skin just far enough away from his mouth so as not to cross a line, but not right in the middle of his cheek either. It’s the softest way he’s been touched in a long time, and he can feel himself wanting to grip onto you, smash his mouth to your own and finally scratch the itch that’s sitting under his skin. 

You pull away, but before you can open the door, he’s taking hold of your wrist and moving closer, pressing his own kiss to your cheek right back, further up your skin than you had done to him, but it’s a kiss to your skin none-the-less, one that floods his chest with hope, a feeling he hasn’t really felt in years. He keeps his mouth there probably for a little longer than he should, committing the feel of your skin on his mouth because he knows this is as far as he should push things, but he also knows that he now needs to know what the rest of your skin feels like under his mouth. 

He pulls away and when he looks at your eyes, all full of hope and want, the same look he’d seen countless times in Colombia, whether he was promising a visa or led next to someone in bed, and he knows he shouldn’t have done it, shouldn’t have encouraged these kinds of feelings, but he’s done it now, he can’t take it back, wouldn’t want to if he could either. 

“There’s nothing wrong with you, querida,” He says softly, “Nothing wrong with you at all.” 

[fyeahnix]

While the Enforcers who patrol Zaun are paid off and have been told to not bother the locals, the few of them who are brave enough venture into the Lanes to lounge around, sometimes while on duty. The most foolhardy of them will mosey into Babette's brothel for a session.

The workers hate them. But money is money.

Every blue moon some too-green Enforcer will try to press their luck on getting away with mistreating the workers or attempting (sometimes succeeding) to leave without paying. The workers will, of course, complain to Babette about it. The girls, especially, will complain to Sevika.

Most Enforcers know to never get complaints brought up to Sevika, lest they jeopardize the deal Silco has in place with the sheriff.

"So, you're the pig I've been hearing about."

The enforcer whipped his head around to catch Sevika's pointed glare. He was young, dark-haired, and attempting in vain to grow facial hair. Not too unattractive for anyone else seemingly under the age of 23. He reeked of alcohol and sweaty sex and Sevika scrunched her nose at that. The cigarette in his mouth clung on for dear life as he sputtered a response.

"Fuck did you say?"

He missed matching Sevika's height by two inches, but even with his chest puffed out, he severely lacked the muscle mass to back up the bass in his voice. A nonthreat. Probably a kid on his fourth patrol in the Undercity. Sevika had stumbled into enforcers like him before. All annoying little shitheels who thought they ran the place because of a shiny badge.

Sevika kept her composure and her arms—her weapons–hidden under her poncho. "I think you heard me loud and clear. Or did you forget where you were?"

He looked around at the glowing neon and smoke-filled air of Zaun's red-light district. Then sized Sevika up. A haughty smirk painted his chapped lips next.

"The backwoods, clearly. Don't know why anyone bothers coming here. Just a bunch of cheap whores and booze."

"And yet... You're a repeat customer."

The enforcer narrows his eyes. "Where'd you get that from?"

Sevika leaned in. "Got eyes and ears everywhere. Also heard you didn't bother paying for a service."

His lip twitched, only somewhat regaining his composure as he flicked his cigarette to the pavement. "Well. Service wasn't satisfactory."

Sevika chuckled. "That so?"

The enforcer reached for his weapon when she moved. "You touch me, and I'll have an entire squad on your ass. Back. Up."

The chuckle morphed into a full laugh. "I don't see any 'backup' around. Do you?"

Sure enough, he scanned his surroundings. No one around except the supposed "cheap whores" and peddlers at the end of the block, curious but keeping their noses out of their business.

"Your superiors must be hazin' you. What were they thinking, sending a little man like you around to do their patrolling for them?" He steeled his jaw as Sevika continued. "Let me tell you something.

"Ever seen a wolf? They're apex predators. Strong alone, sure, but even more deadly in a pack. There's power in numbers and that pack allows them to take down prey many times their own size. But what happens when a lone wolf encounters a farmer and his flock of sheep?

"It gets bold, brazen. Stupid. The sheep disappear one by one. And the wolf keeps showing up. That is... until the farmer gets a deterrent, a guard dog. But that wolf? It wants those sheep, because they should be easy prey, right? So, it brings more wolves, hoping the size of the pack will scare the dog away."

Sevika leaned in again.

"But no matter how many fuckin' wolves show up, that dog isn't backing down."

The enforcer's grip on his weapon intensified so much, his veins popped. He swallowed.

"If I see you down here again, I'll make sure you never make it back topside for your 'pack.' Now. Get the fuck outta here."

The junior enforcer gritted his teeth before he snarled and stomped away.

taglist: @gaudesstuff @archangeldyke-all @abitohoney @lesbeaniegreenie @sexysapphicshopowner

[moodymelanist]

you look so pretty (and i love this view)

happy @sjmromanceweek everyone! I'm so excited to be doing this event for the third year running and I can't wait to see what everyone comes up with this week 🤍🤍🤍

I’m planning to post at least 3 or 4 fics this week, starting off with some good old fashioned Nemerie. Stay tuned for some Elucien, Nezriel, Nessian, and perhaps even some Azris this week if I can get to them 👀👀

Summary: Nesta's Hinge date doesn't show, so Emerie steps in.

Word Count: 1.7k

Read on AO3 here!

♡♡♡♡♡ Emerie

After a long day at work, Emerie was more than happy to stop at one of the bars on her way home for a much-needed drink. She’d had to stay much later at the office than usual because of someone else’s fuck up, and although she was more than ready to fall into bed, she’d much rather do it with some alcohol and a warm dinner in her stomach. 

Emerie signaled the bartender and ordered her usual drink, taking slow sips as she looked around the place. For a Thursday night things weren’t as busy as she’d expected, but she supposed the happy hour crew had came and left while she was still mentally cursing out her coworkers. There were more than a few empty seats at the bar, but there was a decent crowd spread out amongst the booths and tables ready to have dinner. 

Nobody really caught her eye until she noticed a gorgeous woman sitting at one of the booths near the door, and Emerie watched as she periodically kept checking her phone and looking over her shoulder every time someone came in. If Emerie had to guess, it looked like she was waiting for a date to show up, and Emerie hoped whoever it was didn’t keep the woman waiting much longer. 

You didn’t keep someone who looked like that waiting. With her golden brown hair, pretty eyes, and the way her dark dress was clinging to her, Emerie would kill for an excuse to get to know her. Dating had been pretty… uneventful for her after her last relationship had imploded, so maybe it was just wishful thinking that maybe this woman would look back, but that wouldn’t stop Emerie from wishing. 

Emerie kept her eye on the woman over the next fifteen minutes, watching as her expression grew more and more pinched. Her server came by to check on her several times, and each time the woman declined to order anything while she waited for her so-called date to show up. Emerie half hoped whoever the woman was waiting on would show up just to keep that expression off her pretty face, but the much larger part of Emerie was hoping that the date never showed so she could swoop in. 

Swoop in to do what exactly, Emerie wasn’t quite sure; clearly, her wishful thinking mentality was still in effect.

The next time the woman’s server came by, the woman heaved a heavy sigh before she started talking. She seemed more… defeated, this time, and Emerie hated to see it.

I guess they’re not coming, Emerie saw the woman say to her server. Emerie had a flash of panic — what if the woman left before she could say anything to her, or even get her name? 

Looking back on this moment later, Emerie wouldn’t be able to put her finger on what made her do it, but something made her get out of her stool. Before she could second-guess herself too strongly, she tossed back the rest of her drink, walked around the bar, and sat herself down right at the woman’s table. 

“Hi,” Emerie said, her heart pounding in her chest at all the different ways this could go wrong. The woman’s eyes were piercing this close up, and Emerie thanked her lucky stars she’d decided to take a little extra time getting ready this morning for work. “I’m really sorry I’m late. I’m Emerie.”

The woman blinked at her for several long moments before reaching out and offering her hand. “Nesta.”

Their server — a pretty, brown-skinned woman named Clare — gave Emerie some serious side eye before flipping her notepad back open and clicking her pen. “Glad you could make it. Would you like any appetizers?”

Nesta ordered some calamari for the table and waited a few seconds for Clare to be out of earshot before looking back at Emerie. “You’re not my date.”

“You can tell me to leave if you want,” Emerie said, already mentally preparing herself to get right back up again, “but I think you’re gorgeous, and gorgeous women should never be kept waiting.”

“Oh,” Nesta said back, her cheeks turning a pretty shade of pink. Emerie half wondered how far that blush could go, given the chance, but she forced herself to stay focused on the task at hand. “Well. I suppose you’re right.”

“You suppose?” Emerie replied with a hopeful little smile. 

“Yes,” Nesta answered, raising one of her eyebrows. “But don’t get used to it. I’m the one who’s always right.”

Emerie laughed. “Maybe that’s because you haven’t met your match yet.”

“Are you saying that’s you?” Nesta fired back without missing a beat. 

“Only one way to find out, right?” Emerie replied. She couldn’t believe her luck — here she was, sitting across from a beautiful woman, and the two of them were already going back and forth effortlessly. 

“Yeah,” Nesta agreed slowly, her eyes taking their time trailing over Emerie’s top half. “I guess there is.”

As they talked over their appetizers and eventually their meals, Emerie fell a little more head over heels with every detail she learned about Nesta. She was an attorney working in intellectual property, she had a cat, and most importantly, she had indeed been stood up on a date. 

“I mean, it’s not that hard to send a text if you changed your mind,” Nesta grumbled over her eggplant Parmesan. “It only takes a couple of seconds.”

“She sounds like she sucks,” Emerie replied, pulling a huff of a laugh out of Nesta.

“Yeah,” Nesta agreed. “I never got to meet up with her, but this is a much better date than whatever excuse she would’ve pulled out of her ass if she ever showed up.”

“It definitely wouldn’t have been good enough for you,” Emerie told her, picking up a few pieces of her penne alle vodka with her fork. 

“After almost twenty minutes? Definitely not.” Nesta took a sip of her soda before fixing Emerie with a considering stare. “But that’s enough about me. Tell me about you.”

Emerie was more than happy to share details about herself, and found herself preening a little bit that Nesta seemed to like what she was hearing. Emerie was more than happy to talk about her marketing job, but the real fun started when they realized they had similar tastes in books. They easily killed another twenty minutes just talking about the newest Sellyn Drake release, and Emerie couldn’t remember the last time she’d smiled and laughed so much talking to a stranger.

As much fun as they were having, though, the night eventually had to come to a close. Clare came by to drop off the check and Emerie had to hold in a sigh as she realized she and Nesta would probably be parting ways in the next ten to fifteen minutes.

“Please, it’s the least I can do,” Nesta said, grabbing the check before Emerie could even take a look at what they owed. Emerie opened her mouth to argue, but Nesta fixed her with a look that made her close her mouth almost immediately. “Don’t even think about it.”

“Fine,” Emerie said back. “But next time’s on me.”

“Mhmm,” Nesta replied, though the playful look in her eyes told a different story. Emerie couldn’t wait to tell Gwyn about all this.

Once they settled their tab, they ended up outside and walking down the street. Nesta had driven to the bar after work, but Emerie had taken the train, so she offered to walk Nesta to her car. It was the opposite direction from the closest station, but she didn’t mind a few extra minutes if it meant she could spend them with Nesta.

“Thanks for saving me, Emerie,” Nesta said once they got to her car. Her hand had brushed Emerie’s a few times during the walk and Emerie swore her skin was tingling a little bit. “I had a really good time tonight.”

“You’re very welcome,” Emerie said back, seriously distracted by the way her name sounded coming out of Nesta’s mouth. “I’m happy to rescue you anytime you want, Nesta.”

“Is that what you did?” Nesta teased. She cocked her head ever so slightly and Emerie fell a little in love with the way her hair looked brushing across her shoulders when she did. “Those are some strong words.”

“I feel strongly about it,” Emerie replied, stepping just a little closer into Nesta’s personal space. Nesta was just an inch or two shorter than Emerie, and as a woman on the taller side, it was nice to not have to look too far down when they were speaking.

Nesta’s eyes darted quickly to Emerie’s lips and back up. “Is that the only thing you feel strongly about?”

“No,” Emerie whispered, and then she was leaning down while Nesta was leaning slightly up. Nesta’s lips were soft against Emerie’s, her kiss slow and sweet and absolutely perfect. Emerie brought her hand up to gently cup the side of Nesta’s face and was immediately rewarded with one of Nesta’s hands plunging into her hair.

“Okay, okay,” Nesta said after a few minutes, smiling as she pulled back from Emerie. Her lips were a little pink from where they’d been kissing, and Emerie knew she’d never get that image out of her mind. “It’s tempting, but we can’t be out here all night.”

“Whatever you say, counselor,” Emerie teased, even though they both knew Nesta wasn’t that kind of lawyer. “Can I at least have your phone number so we can see each other again?”

“I was starting to think you’d never ask,” Nesta responded. She pulled out her phone and offered it to Emerie, waiting patiently while Emerie typed in her number. Emerie triple-checked to make sure it was right – no way was she letting Nesta get away from her over something as simple as a mixed-up phone number – before handing it back over.

“I’ll text you,” Nesta promised, leaning in for one last kiss before starting to walk toward the driver’s side of her car. “Have a good night, Emerie.”

“You too,” Emerie replied, taking a few steps back from the edge of the sidewalk. 

As Emerie started to head toward the train, she couldn’t help but touch her fingers to her still-warm lips. Whatever she’d done to get so lucky to suddenly be living out a romance novel, she certainly wasn’t complaining.

tag list: @perseusannabeth | @bookstantrash | @charming-butt-insane | @oversizedbats | @melphss | @sv0430 | @podemechamardek | @autumnbabylon | @live-the-fangirl-life | @julemmaes | @that-little-red-head | @jmoonjones | @sayosdreams | @thewayshedreamed | @hiimheresworld | @brieq | @pearlfortears | @swankii-art-teacher | @nerdperson524 | @snickerdoodlechittybangbang | @imsointobooks | @nesquik-arccheron | @sweet-pea1 | @champanheandluxxury | @dustjacketmusings | @mrs-shadowsinger04 | @unlikelypersonalknight1 | @goddess-aelin | @arinbelle | @talkfantasytome | @simpingfornestaarcheron | @duskandstarlight | @letstakethedawn | @vidalinav | @c-e-d-dreamer | @dealfea | @katekatpattywack | @burningsnowleopard | @thatsowlmazing | @avidromancereader | @a-little-disguised | @kale-theteaqueen

[hwanchaesong]

Double Take

Lee Haechan/Donghyuck X Reader

genre & warnings: angst, fluff, suggestive, childhood friends to lovers au, some cursing and mentions of alcohol and sex

word count: 1.3k

a/n: here it is~ thank you so much for requesting! to anyone who wants to request please check out the rules 🫶

"Don't leave me!" you wailed, clinging to Haechan further as he tried to console you.

"Don't worry." he gave you a light pat on the head, grinning at you brightly, "We will always be together! Friends forever!"

Two decades later and his own words continued to haunt him. He did his best to keep that promise, but his bitter expression and balled fist said otherwise.

He regrets inviting you to his frat party. Watching you enjoy yourself with other people, especially with another man is not his cup of tea.

"Keep it up and you might melt the poor guy away." Mark, his best friend, commented at his side, making Haechan scoff.

"What's so good about him anyway?" he asked, annoyance in his voice palpable as he continued watching you converse with Sunwoo.

Kim fucking Sunwoo.

Popular guy, tall, handsome, good in sports. Thank god he's dumb or else Haechan will actually be in a disadvantage against him.

Mark laughed, taking a chug of his beer, "You tell me." he replied nonchalantly before his eyes almost bulged out of his skull.

Haechan wasn't doing any better, seeing you go outside with Sunwoo. Oh, he knows what will happen tonight.

"Dude, are you okay?" Mark placed a hand on his back as an attempt to comfort him to no avail. Haechan could only let out a sigh, slumping in his seat.

He couldn't remember when these stupid feelings surfaced.

Was it back in elementary, when you gave him half of your food because he dropped his on the dirty floor?

Was it back in highschool, when you supported him in a dance contest that he won because you were there for him when no one else believed in him?

Or was it that time, which he couldn't remember clearly, but you ran under the rain. Umbrella completely forgotten as you both played and danced, happiness in your hearts despite the gloomy weather.

"The girl that I like will probably have sex with the guy that I hate." he deadpanned, standing up and marching away like a little kid before shouting a response, "Of course I'm not okay!"

Haechan tried not to think about it anymore, but you're making it harder for him because it seems like you don't plan on shutting up anytime soon.

"He was such a gentleman." you dreamily sighed, telling Haechan your experiences with Sunwoo. "And oh! Did you know that he asked me out on a date next week?"

He couldn't bring himself to listen anymore, but he needs to keep his facade. Thus, he forced a smile, "Yeah? Good for you then, you'll finally have a boyfriend."

You smiled at him, not knowing the inner turmoil that he was going through. Though it began to show itself when the day for the said date comes closer.

Haechan became more distant, failing to message you or do the things that he usually does to or with you.

He doesn't eat with you during lunch, he stopped greeting you in the morning with a hug, he doesn't joke and play around with you anymore.

What is going on?

Haechan was driving around town to keep his mind off of you. He needs to move on from you asap or else he wouldn't be able to hold himself back.

He absentmindedly brought himself to a secluded place near the forest, a place special to the two of you.

This is your so-called 'secret base', a meeting spot where you can spill each other's deepest emotions and thoughts (even tea) and maybe cry about how fucked up your life is sometimes.

He sat on the soft grass, looking up at the star filled skies.

It's pretty, like you.

Haechan flinched, mentally slapping himself because he's not supposed to think of you... but really whose he kidding?

Everywhere and anywhere his eyes land on, it will always remind him of you.

The street arts back in the city reminds him of that time when you both tried doing graffiti after sneaking out of your respective homes in the middle of the night.

The various shapes of the fluffy clouds remind him of his nickname, Teddy Bear, one that you gave to him when you saw a bear shaped cloud. Claiming that Haechan himself looks like a bear, but since he's so huggable, he can never be a vicious bear.

He groaned, running his hands in his hair out of frustration. How the heck can he do this?

The sound of footsteps and ruffling caught his attention, turning around and he sees you in a cute outfit.

"I knew you'd be here." you softly said, walking towards him and sitting by his side.

"Why are you here?" he inquired, knowing that today is your date with Sunwoo.

"I can't." you mumbled, looking down while you played with your fingers, a nervous habit of yours that Haechan definitely noticed.

"I can't continue with the date, because I.." you took a deep breath before you gathered the courage to gaze directly in his eyes, "I'm worried about you."

"What?"

Haechan's breathing hitched. He did not expect that from you, and so, he tried to play it cool, hoping to calm his erratic heartbeat.

"So you decided to ditch your date?" he teased, poking your side which made you pout.

"I did not!" you protested, lightly hitting his shoulder, "I told him that I'll look for you."

It was semi-true. Initially, you had wanted to continue the date but Sunwoo himself said that it's better for you two to stay as friends.

"Y/N, I don't know if you've noticed but you've been telling me stories about Haechan all night. I think we both know what that means."

Sunwoo gave you a knowing smile and pushed your back slightly, thus, you're here.

Haechan hummed, eyes gazing upwards as he mumbled a question, "And why would you look for me?"

You hesitate for a second, contemplating whether to answer him directly, "Well, I felt like I need to be with you right now."

Haechan is by no means patient but he knows his limits, he can control himself during the most difficult times and think rationally yet your words have a different effect on him.

He did not know what came over him, all he knew was that his body moved on its own.

He held your shoulders, turned your body towards him and crashed his lips against yours.

"Donghyuck." you muttered his name in a soft voice when you pulled away from each other for air, and the way you said his name was enough to make him go feral.

One thing led to another and you find yourself inside his car, fogging up the windows and muffled voices filling the cramped space.

"Hyuck!" you squealed when he nipped at the sensitive spot on your neck, a moan followed when you felt him dip his fingers in your heat.

"You're so good to me, baby."

Haechan kissed every inch of your skin, made love to you as if its his last and savored your taste as you allowed him to show you how much you truly meant to him.

He's living in his dream. All the things he wanted, he's now making it happen. But is this okay? Are you okay? Will everything be okay after this?

When you noticed his doubts about the situation, you kissed his nose and whispered, "I trust you."

Then he remembered, back when you were five year olds at the beach . You let him drag you into a cave which is said to have a 'treasure.'

"I trust you." you told him with a bright grin on your face.

You knew how much of a troublemaker he is yet you still chose to have confidence in him. This realization, despite his young age, made him fall in love with you.

As he watches you giggle and cuddle at his backseat, he made a decision that yes, he did love you during the summer, but he sure as hell will continue for a lifetime.

[hsdiaries]

chapter one

3.9k words

First chapter of eight count.

mention of alcoholism, violence via boxing.

"One..."

When a man is down hard, he gets eight counts to get back up.

"Two..."

Eight counts to get his shit back together. Shake off the embarrassing blow to the face that has him on the floor in the first place.

"Three..."

Right before the halfway point, that's when you can usually tell if you're getting back up or not. Right before you hear...

"Four..."

Is when the world will finally start coming too, the dizzy feeling, fading or growing stronger.

"Five..."

Fuck. I wasn't getting up. I was the embarrassing one on the floor, knocked out by a damn check hook. I invented fucking check hooks in this city, always the one to successfully land one; never the one on the receiving end.

"Six..."

At this point, I knew I should just give up, the taste of blood filling my mouth more than I had realized. I tried to divert my eyes to my corner, shaking my head softly when I thought I finally caught Louis' eyes.

"Coach threw the towel, coach threw the towel!" I heard someone yell, the sound of the bell and the crowd bursting into roars for my opponent. It just all went black after that.

I came to eventually, the smell of old beer filling my nostrils only increasing the heavy feeling of nausea that shook my core.

"Hoo, hoo, big boy Styles is finally joining us!" I hear Louis say, his hand smacks my hip bone hard, making me wince. My hand quickly went up to swat him away, only causing more pain to travel everywhere else in my body.

"Fuck off, Tomlinson," I groaned, sitting up slowly, realizing I had been lying down in our usual booth at Birmingham's. I glanced over the table, reaching for Louis' beer and chugging it; not exactly the correct antidote, nor something I ever did but my ego was hurt. Hurt enough for me to do the one thing I never did, drink.

"He knocked you out cold bruv! He clearly watched your fights." Louis chuckled, glancing up at Brad, my trainer then back at me.

"Ha ha ha, it was supposed to be a one round fight, bruv. It never should have even gone to round two. I told you to grab me his tapes, I should have studied his technique," I shot back.

"Harry, you don't have to win every single fight to be the best, you still are. Best of anyone in this goddamn joint," Brad said, my thumb wiping the beer from my lips.

"I just lost to a fucking nobody piece of shit," I heard myself snarl, my head knocking back against the booth.

"Look, just go home, sleep it off, I already talked to the manager, you'll get your rematch and I'll get you his tapes this time," I heard Louis say, but I knew damn well that he wouldn't get me his tapes, I would have to get them myself. That's just how it worked for Louis, managing me just meant setting up the fights, not helping me with the actual work to prepare for the fight. It's why I lost tonight; I didn't have time to look for his tapes, hence, I didn't have enough time to study his fights.

I understood why, as none of this was actually legal. None of this was in any way actually professional. It all went down in the basement of Birmingham's. An old boxing ring setup by the owner's father and a bunch of stupid men thinking this is their first step to professional boxing.

Dumbasses.

All this did was help us get the anger out that was built up from childhood trauma and failed dreams. At least that's what it did for me. I turned eighteen and this seemed to be the only place I could escape all the pressures my drunken dad tried to put on me. It wasn't easy being his only support, it wasn't easy making sure our only home didn't burn down every time I left. None of it was fucking easy, even at fucking 26 it hadn't gotten easier.

This always felt easy though, boxing, fighting, knocking someone out cold. The best part was every winning fight won you a nice handful of cash. It was the only way my rent got paid, my savings grew, the only way I would ever get out of my father's hold.

Shit, I didn't win. I'm not getting fucking paid.

"Louis...I'm going to need a loan until the next fight. Unless you can get me in here tomorrow," I said, finishing off his beer, tugging at my hair.

"Harry...." he said, looking over my face.

"I know, I hate to ask. I know you paid the booking fee....I just didn't save enough. I was counting on this fight...rents due, and pops is going to–..."

"...--I got it. You're good. Just add it to my cut after you beat his ass the next time," Brad said, quickly pulling out his wallet, grabbing a wad of hundreds without counting them out. I knew it was more than what I needed. I also knew that he wouldn't let me pay him back the same amount. Brad, in comparison to Louis and I, was better off. Came from a good family, a lawyer for a father and a stepford wife of a mother. He only came around us as a way of rebelling. He also really did want to train boxers, so the tapes of my fights were his resume, his way of making it one day.

"Thanks man. Alright, Imma go, pops usually begins his first bit of hangover about now. Gotta go clean up some puke," I said, smacking Louis' shoulder as I got up, rolling up the cash and sticking it in my sock to avoid it somehow getting stolen. Chicago wasn't the worst city, but it also wasn't the best, especially at this time of night. I threw my favorite brown jacket over my shoulders, slipping my arms through the familiar sleeves, avoiding the holes so my fingers didn't snag at them making them bigger. It was a habit, more than actually trying to avoid it, just second nature.

It was a chilly spring night, there was a warmth in the air that quickly disappeared once the breeze hit your skin. It was my favorite time of the year, especially during the day. Perfect weather for running, for reading in the park, and enjoying a meal outdoors. I was alone most days, so spending time outdoors helped bring light to my life. Even though I was alone realistically, hypothetically outside, I was surrounded by people.

I walked the few blocks between Birmingham's and our apartment complex, pushing through the glass door as Richard, the lobby security, looked up at me.

"Mr. Styles, good morning," he smiled, analyzing my face that I now realized, probably looked pretty beat.

"Morning Rich, did you happen to check?" I said, tugging at my hair, licking my lips.

"Yes, he was asleep, finished a vodka bottle, but nothing looked hazardous, so I just left him. Don't think he even noticed me there." He chucked as I nodded. I bent down, taking out the cash from my sock, pulling out a hundred and handing it to him.

"I'm short the usual this week, but I'll make it up, I promise," I said, shoving the rest in my back pocket.

"Lost the fight tonight?" He asked, slipping the hundred in his jacket pocket.

"Unfortunately, I didn't make time to study his skill set, Louis didn't get me what I needed," I shrugged, my hands slipping in my jacket pocket, fingers toying with the ripped up lining to calm my nerves. I hated losing, it made my dads drunken words to me feel real, like maybe he had a point.

Bastard child, you'll never amount to anything.

"You know, I heard Percy Maddox is holding in-person tryouts for his management. Looking to pick up new clients to his roster, I think it would do you some good to see how you measure up," Richard said, his eyebrows raised as if challenging me to come up with a good excuse as to why I shouldn't.

"Louis' my manager, I can't do him dirty like that," I said, moving to lean against the wall next to him.

"Louis is just looking out for his twenty percent Harry, and I know you know that," Richard said, a tilt to his head making me laugh slightly.

"And I'm only looking to pay rent, he and I are the same. I would have to join a team that would understand he's included in the package deal. Brad too."

"And that's why you are my boy and I help you out when I can. You understand loyalty, very few do," he smiled at me as I nodded, turning over my shoulder at the ding of the elevator. The five am crowd was starting to make their way to the gym and morning runs, things I seemed to never understand.

"Thanks, Rich. I should go though, he usually starts waking up around this time. Night!" I said, walking backwards before turning around and swinging into the elevator. I pressed four, moving my body to lean against the back, hands gripping at the railing. I couldn't wait to take a long cold shower, my muscles needing it drastically after tonight.

"Hold the elevator! Please!" I heard a voice call out, a small groan built in my chest, squeezing my eyes tighter as I heard the doors start to close, "God please it's going to take twenty years for another to come down," the voice called out again, making me sigh through my nose as I moved to quickly stick my hand between the doors, the sensors sending them back open in the opposite direction.

When I tell you, time stood fucking still, time stood fucking still when she was infront of me. I had seen glimpses of her before. Through the elevator door as it was closing on me, as she ran quickly in and out of her apartment that was right next to mine. Never had it been like this, this close, this almost felt personal. Her chocolate like hair was up in a high ponytail, draped on her golden caramel skin was maroon scrubs underneath a layered white jacket, I never realized before she was probably a nurse, maybe even a doctor. She had simple diamond studs in her ears and though almost gone, a beautiful peach touch to the blush on her cheeks. She smelled like expensive baby power and pear, two smells I never knew to be so delicious in combination.

"Are you just going to stand there or are we going up?" She questioned, snapping me out of my trance making me back into the elevator again, "And what the hell happened to your face?"

She turned to press her floor, realizing we were heading to the same, she gave me a quick once over as all I could do was stare at her face, "Are you concussed? I'm serious, you feeling alright?"

She seemed to have no hesitation as she moved towards me, causing me to move against the back of the elevator, her hand quickly pulling my eye open as she grabbed a tiny flashlight from her jacket pocket, the light flashing in my eyes finally snapping me out of being temporarily mute, "Hey, sorry, sorry, I'm fine." I said gently moving her hand from my face. "Mmm, sorry, just tired. Barely getting in," I swallowed, my hand moving to tug at my hair, swirling the longest parts at the top around my fingers.

Her eyebrows furrowed slightly, "Did you get jumped or something?" She crossed her arms in front of her chest, finally backing away slightly.

"Felt like it," I chuckled, shaking my head and looking down at my shoes, the small holes at the top making me suddenly feel self conscience about my appearance. Even in her work uniform, probably after a 12 hour shift, she looked more well put together than I ever could, "But uh, no, just fell at work, knocked down some shit. I'm clumsy sometimes."

When my eyes moved back up to meet her, I saw the look of utter disbelief in my words, but the sound of the elevator doors opening as we reached our floor seemed to save me from further explanation. I pressed my lips together into a tight smile, pushing off the back wall and past her into the hall. I reached into my pockets, trying quickly to grab my keys and make my way inside my apartment before she asked anything further. I got to my door, hand on the handle when she spoke again, my eyes closing tight.

"Hey! Wait!" she called, her footsteps letting me know when she was finally right next to me, "I can treat it, clean it up and bandage it. Your eyebrow is split a bit, I can fix it, no questions asked. I just...my conscience won't let me sleep tonight if I don't help you out," her words so soft, I inhaled deeply, placing my ear to my door. My father was clearly still not awake, and my eyebrow did bloody hurt. I shifted my body towards her, biting my lip and nodding.

"Perfect, come on." She pointed her chin forward to her door, both of our bodies moving together towards it. I allowed her the space to grab her keys, starting to unlock her door, when she stopped, chuckling to herself before turning to look over at me, her deep brown eyes soft, "I'm Emilia, by the way. Figured you should know before I invite you in."

I chuckled, nodding, "Harry. Nice to meet you." I smiled to one side, before she bit her lip and led us into her apartment. It was so different from mine, neater. All the furniture matched, no burn stains or tears covered the couches. Her carpet was so white, I instantly moved to remove my shoes, her head tilting at my actions.

"You don't have to do that," she said softly, placing down her bag on the kitchen counter, slipping out of her white jacket.

"No, trust me, it's probably best I do," I placed my beat up Nikes against the wall, padding my way over to her.

"Let's move to the bathroom, the lighting is better in there." I followed her in the bathroom, finally getting a good look at myself in the mirror. My eyebrow was split like she said, blood dried up around it and my eye. My lips had minor cuts, which were the only things I was actually aware of, feeling the sting anytime I touched them, the blood taste lingering in my mouth since the fight. I sat on the closed toilet, swallowing, trying to avoid pulling at my hair again; but my nerves instantly tugged at the strands. Even her bathroom was fucking prestine, making me realize we never were going to get our security deposit back if we ever moved. She moved around her bathroom, pulling out supplies from different drawers and cabinets, finally washing her hands before moving over to me.

She grabbed a small white square package, tearing it open and pulling out a wipe, her eyes landing on mine softly, "It's probably going to sting, especially cause the bloods pretty dried up now."

Nodding at her, she moved to begin cleaning up my face, it truly did fucking hurt, my fingers pinching at my thighs to avoid me wincing like a fucking baby. I tried my best to divert my eyes from her as she worked, but it was so hard from how close she was to me. Her hands were soft against my face, her eyes so concentrated on the task at hand. I took her in, section by section. The perfectly defined cupid's bow, that made the perfect top to a heart, the hooded eyes that seemed to carry a sweet mystery, a nose that finally made me understand why they were often compared to buttons. Her eyes landed on mine as I took her in, both of us shyly looking away.

I cleared my throat, moving my gaze back down, "So are you a doctor?" I asked as she prepared the butterfly shaped bandage.

"Mm, nurse. Though sometimes I feel like I could be a doctor," she smirked a bit, a passive thought seemed to run through her mind before she shook it away.

"And you?" She said softly, grabbing the bandage, pinching my eyebrow softly as she began to apply it.

"You said no questions asked," I said softly, our eyes meeting again, earning me a gentle giggle and shake of the head.

"Touché. Well, you're all done. Try to keep it dry, don't rub on it too hard. I'll check it again later this week." She smiled, stepping back and starting to clean up.

As I opened my mouth to speak, loud thuds could be heard coming from next door. Glass shattered in the distance before a door could be heard slamming shut a few minutes later.

Good morning daddy Styles.

I rolled my eyes, realizing just how much she could hear from the thin walls of this place. I wondered how many times she heard us yell. Heard the way he insulted me constantly, my nerves making it so I tugged my hair so hard you would think I was going to go bald.

"I hear that often. Got a frisky cat?" She said, almost as if obvious to my tension.

"Yeah, Thomas the fat frisky cat," I rolled my eyes, shaking my head a bit, "I should um, probably go tend to Thomas, I think it's feeding time."

"Can't have a starved cat, never a good choice," she said, throwing away everything before quickly washing her hands again. She led me down the hall to the door, I grabbed my shoes standing up straight and glancing at her.

"Thanks again, um, Emilia," I smiled tight, watching her shrug.

"I'll need a light bulb changed or something at some point. Just, don't forget to stop by in a day or two, just so I can see if you're going to need stitches or not," she said gently and I nodded, reluctantly opening the door and walking out to quiet byes being exchanged.

I looked over my shoulder one more time at her as she closed the door, before dragging my feet to my apartment. I unlocked the door, pushing my way in, taking in the mess he had made today. Food wrappers were everywhere, cans covering what felt like every furniture piece that could hold them. I inhaled the smell of stale beer, breathing out as I heard my dads pained groans as he threw up.

"Pops, you alright?" I called out, throwing my shoes on the floor, taking off my jacket as I made my way over to the bathroom. I opened it, a painful sight as always waiting for me. He was wrapped around the disgusting toilet, his puke making it to more areas than just the bowl.

"God, pops, why do you do this?" I sighed, grabbing gloves and towels from the cabinets, starting to clean him up.

"Harrrrry I'm sory, I'mmm a meess," he slurred, my eyes rolling as if I didn't already know.

"It's fine, pops. Come on, let's get you in the shower, yeah?" I said, bracing my lower back as I brought him to his stumbling feet. I dragged him into the shower, turning the water on him, he exclaimed as the cold water hit him before it warmed. Curses seemed to be his only vocabulary. Eventually, he stood still, letting the water hit him and wash off the throw up before I pulled off his wet clothes.

"I got it," he said swatting me away, "I fucking got it!" He shoved me, my fists curling tight as I remembered his current condition. I walked out, heading into my room and stripping myself clean of all the dirty clothes on my body, covered in sweat blood and now my father's mess. I laid back on my bed, eyes close, the sheets feeling good against my bare skin, the backs of my lids playing out a vision of Emilia on them.

She smiled at me, pulling me in her apartment, arms wrapping around my neck as she pulled me into a kiss. Her fingers tangled into my hair, pulling me tighter on her lips, her tongue running against mine. I felt the damn blood rushing to my prick, my stomach knotting up as she invaded my thoughts further; imagining what her skin would feel like pressed against mine.

My hand began to crawl down my stomach, over the shaft of my cock, wrapping my fingers around myself. That's as far as I got before I heard the loud thump on the floor snapping me out of my dirty mind.

"Fuck!" I yelled out. I yelled out because I hated that I just met her and my mind was already in such a dirty place with her. I yelled out because I was tired of this fucking life I was living. I grabbed my towel and wrapped it around my waist tightly, making my way over to see my dad stumbling out of the bathroom, pushing past me. He walked into his room, stumbled onto his bed naked and was out the moment his body hit the bed.

I sighed, shaking my head and making my way to the bathroom, finishing my clean up before getting in the shower. I felt the water hit along my body as I washed up, planning out what tomorrow would be like when I finally woke up. What bills I had to make sure got paid before I could buy groceries to last the week. I needed to find tapes on this guy's previous fights, study them until I knew he's footwork like a dance.

I needed to not let my mind wander to dirty places with Emilia.

I carefully washed my hair and face, not wetting my bandage before finally getting out and drying up, changing into clean clothes. My stomach growled as I made my way through the living room, picking up the mess I knew would just be back tomorrow. I was starved, but unfortunately when I opened the fridge, there was nothing inside. I sighed, closing my eyes and deciding that I would just have to sleep it off.

A knock came from the door, my eyes narrowing as we never had visitors and all my packages were delivered to Brad's. I walked over, opening the door slightly seeing no one around. As I moved to close the door, I noticed a foil wrapped container on the floor, my eyebrow raising slightly. I opened the door, bending down to pick it up, a small note taped to the top. Closing the door with my hip, I opened up the note, writing with tiny letters and big swoops read:

"Made too much mac and cheese for just one person, hope you can eat cheese."

— E

My lips pursed, trying to stop the smile that began in my cheeks, aching from the need to let my lips spread. It was something so simple, so sweet, but I hated that it made me feel pitied. I quickly shook the thought, grabbing one of the two good forks that we had and settling on the couch. I took a forkful in my mouth, my eyes closing at the cheesy goodness. My stomach thanked me for not making it suffer through the night.

I finished, feeling so thankful for the nurse next door and her beautiful kindness tonight.

[mizukamiyaseiryu]

OKAY TWF4 spoilers and Felix Kranken as a character (really more of just him)

(tw for suicide ideations)

how do I say this man I just. I just find felix kranken so fucking interesting?

like obviously we knew of him as this skeevy, alcoholic businessman who killed his best friend's kids (though unintentionally), hid his crimes, silenced anyone who came close to discovering the truth, and was now likely out to get his niece sophie as well. clearly we were meant to view him as someone irredeemable and a villain right?

but then came twf4 and we get so many more layers to his character than we initially thought

we knew from "Guilty" that he regretted killing the kids, yet still worried more about the restaurant opening, making him seem a bit more unsympathetic to his supposed niece and nephew. but with twf4, that wasn't entirely the case.

we were given a man so distraught at the idea that he'd gotten his best friend's children killed (kids who he was close enough to consider family as well) that he'd thought about killing himself more than once after burying them. in the end, he didn't, and even kept a memento of the incident.

we thought that he killed jack and everyone else just to keep them from finding out, but instead he "fessed up" to the family. except he didn't actually, and lied about what really happened to the children.

we knew him for being an alcoholic thanks to linda and his own confession tapes, but we found out now that he actively lied about his alcoholism to his own friends, with the only ones who actually do know about it being his ex-wife and seemingly the cyberfun tech employees (also worth noting that it seemed like jack wasn't involved with handling this department, hence why he didn't find out about it). this makes the phone call of jack asking felix to drive the kids to school and back even WORSE. because jack doesn't know about the alcoholism, he didn't know that he was giving a man with a drinking problem a handle on his kids' safety. felix clearly knew of his own addiction and yet still took the kids anyway, despite hesitating to do so.

several different occasions we've been given of felix where he plans to do one thing, but turns around to do another. felix is aware of when he's doing something wrong and very much wants to admit to them, but he chickens out and deflects last minute. he's afraid of the repercussions, of losing respect from people he cares about, or at least people who he didn't want seeing him be a "failure". even when he'd come close when admitting to the waltens, he chickened out and lied to them on what really happened to the children.

he was too cowardly to admit to his addiction, too cowardly say no to his best friend, too cowardly to end his own life after his crime, too cowardly to throw away incriminating evidence (and even hid it from the family) and too cowardly to actually confess his killing of children. he's a real coward, through and through. because of that, his cowardice brought about the worst consequences, what with a malicious entity seemingly latching onto him and killing those close to him one by one with him none the wiser. and now that entity had set their sights on sophie, who it seems he personally took in and cared for.

it's very interesting of martin to write such a complex character who we're clearly not meant to root for but understood how he felt the way he did. it makes me wonder what martin actually plans for felix now, with sophie being the target. will he finally, finally start his path to redemption and stop being a coward to protect her? i suppose we'll find out in the future. either way, i'm looking forward to it.

[redfoxwritesstuff]

Sunflower: Book 1, Chapter 2

AN: Look, a second chapter! Who would have thought! Masterlist Chapter 1 Chapter 3

Tom Hiddleston x OFC Series rated: M Chapter warnings: Some light nudity, drinking ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Chapter 2

“A year?” That’s it, he was insane but was she surprised? How many times has the thought crossed her mind this morning?

He nodded, “I could make a year work, I’m sure.”

“I’m so glad you could make a year work but I have a life too. I can’t just sneak a whole ass man into my life and hide him for a year.” She was on her feet again, pacing the room, “Why do you even want to do this?”

“I believe everything happens for a reason.” It was the same nonsense as when he proposed the idea. “And who said anything about hiding?”

“And the reason this happened was a lot of alcohol on your little Las Vegas adventure.” 

While they argued about the future of their marriage, he pulled a suitcase from the closet. At least they wound up back in his room though she wasn’t sure which resort his room was in. She hadn’t the faintest clue where her clothes from the day prior had disappeared to, there certainly wasn’t any sign of them in this room. 

“I have faith that I saw something in you that made me believe it was the right choice.”

 He pulled out a change of clothes- lucky him. Without shame, he shed his boxers. She hated his confidence in his body as she tried to keep her eyes on his face and nothing else. 

Everything else was ever so tempting to look at though. If she hadn’t been so drunk she would have been able to close her eyes and remember what being with him was like at least. How unfair to be robbed of the memory of fucking what could be the most attractive man she had been with. 

“Again, that thing you saw was alcohol.” 

“We’ll agree to disagree.” The simple V neck tee-shirt and denim jeans combo he slipped on flattered his frame though she was more importantly thankful for the fact that it covered his frame. “There’s shops near, I’ll go get you some clothes.” 

“You can’t just walk away,” She demanded knowing full well she couldn’t leave that room until she had something other than a ripped wedding dress or oversized men’s shirt to wear. 

“I think it’s better if we have a little space to think. Then we can decide what we’re going to do after we’re both dressed and have something in our stomachs. The pills only help so much with the hangover.”

“Breakfast!” Shit, she’d forgotten again. “I’m supposed to meet-” 

“I think we’ve got more pressing matters.” He crossed the simple hotel room quickly and grabbed her phone off the bed before she could. It was strange, seeing this slight show of force from him. He’d been so soft until then. 

“That’s my-”

“I’m aware.” Across the room, his phone rang after he quickly punched in the digits. “I can’t make you stay but I’m going to go get you some clothes. I would like for us to get breakfast together and make our decision after a bit of time to think and discuss.”

“You really want to not get an annulment?” 

“I want to give this a chance,” He confirmed yet again. On his way to the door, he hesitated and looked back at her. “I need to know your sizes, can you message them to me?” 

“Yeah, sure.” This was the most ridiculous thing that had ever happened to her. 

“For-” he chuckled nervously before continuing, “everything you need me to buy for you to wear today… Including any under garments you need.”

“You’re not- I can’t ask you to- That’s not right-”

“I’m your husband, at least for now. It’s my first husbandly duty of the day.” He smiled at her from the door. He was clearly tired, hungover but there was something in his eyes. 

“Is this a joke to you?” She yelled as the door shut behind him. 

She glared at the closed door, willing the man to come back so she could yell at him some more. He didn’t and that was probably for the best though if asked she wouldn’t admit it. Silence dragged on as she tried to put her thoughts in order.

Fingertips shook as she selected her sister’s name and pressed the call button. The line rang hardly once before her sister’s voice was in her ear. “Where are you?”

“I’m not going to make it to breakfast.” She wasn’t sure when she decided that. 

“I gathered. That’s fine, we got pancakes with all the sprinkles, whipped cream and chocolate chips.” A small voice giggled from near Ashley and Mia couldn’t help but smile.

“Can you keep her for a while longer? I’ve got to clean something up.” Mia walked around the small room as she talked on the phone. She didn’t want to invade Tom’s privacy but curiosity couldn’t be helped. 

“Is everything okay?” Ashley was careful to mind her tone, for that Mia was thankful.

“You wouldn’t believe it if I told you.” There were clean suits hanging in the closet and polished shoes on the floor. In the suitcase were much more relaxed though she didn’t find a single item purchased at Walmart. 

“Try me.” 

“I got wasted, have a splitting headache and apparently got married to someone who has designer suits last night.” 

“Ha-Ha you’re so funny. Seriously, what’s up with you? Are you okay?” 

“I wish I was joking.” the bathroom was stocked with quality products. He didn’t travel planning on using the hotel samples. 

“What’s his name? Have you googled him? Are you s-a-f-e?” Ashley asked, spelling out the word ‘safe’ to avoid worrying the little girl at her table.

“I haven’t googled him. I think I’m safe, I don’t know. He’s been nice enough all morning. His name is Tom Hidestone? Let me get the papers…”

“Where is he now?” 

“Down at the shops. He said he’s going to buy me some clothes.” 

“Do you want me to come get you? I can be on the Strip in-”

“No, I think I’m okay. We’ve still got to talk about things.” 

“What’s there to talk about? I’m not finding a Tom Hidestone-” 

“Here’s the paper. It’s Hiddleston. Thomas William Hiddleston. He’s British.”

“Googling now. So, you heading to the courthouse to file for annulment?”

“We’re going to get breakfast first and talk some more.” Mia sat on the bed, facing the door and waited. 

“What is there to talk about? You are getting an annulment, right? Holy shit- never mind I found him.”

“Is that a good holy shit or a bad holy shit?” Every terrible option ran through her head in a instant, no matter how unlikely.

“He’s an actor. A little bit of a big deal. He’s hot. How the fuck did you bag him?”

“I wish I could remember.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Whiskey buzzed in his head. Music pounded and lights flashed. No one recognized him in the dark. Her hands were soft against his body. Long fingers tangled in hair that smelled of flowers. 

“Do you feel better?” He had to raise his voice to be heard over the music.

“I do.” She said and he marveled at the fact that somewhere else in the world a woman he thought would be his forever was saying the exact same two words to someone else. He liked how those words sounded from her lips.

Her voice sounded like home. Those words sounded like a promise. 

“Can I get you another drink?” 

“I’d like that.” 

~~~~~~~~~ <3 Tag List: @winterisakiller, @alexakeyloveloki, @jennyggggrrr, @dangertoozmanykids101, @tilltheendwilliwrite, @tinchentitri, @buttercupcookies-blog, @violethaze,

@wizardcherryblossom (Strikeout = couldn't tag)

[izvmimi]

Matchlit - Chapter 2

cw: alcohol mention. day at the beach.

Masterlist

Perhaps you were more tired last night than you realized, because you were clearly the last to rise the next morning.

Upset with no one else but yourself, you are out of your room, grumpy but otherwise presentable by 11 am, and mercifully your friends have still left you with a warm breakfast wrapped in foil. 

“Welcome sleepyhead!” Lili calls from the balcony. She stands with Shinsou coaxing him to tell her something, she herself doesn’t know what, but there is a deeper frown on his face than usual and his lips are pressed tightly while she rubs his back sympathetically. 

Mina is painting her nails, a silly venture because you all plan to go to the beach in the next hour. Denki is looking at her feet with morbid fascination, enough that it’s slightly unsettling.

Izuku’s face is glued to the television screen, switched onto the local news, and while you take bites of porridge and bread, Kirishima wrestles the remote away from the young hero, reminding him that he’s on a damn vacation.

“I’m just trying to be aware of our surroundings!” he protests.

“I need you to fucking concentrate on chilling, man!” Kirishima yells back and Izuku frowns, which makes you burst out laughing.

Katsuki is nowhere to be found, but you can tell by the taste that he made at least part of the breakfast. The eggs are spiced subtly in the way you’ve been familiar with since early morning breakfasts at the UA dorms, deliciously familiar.

As you finish up your meal, you wonder if he’s still upset from last night, but remember that your friend is quite resilient even if he’s a bit ornery at times.

The ten of you head out to the beach as anticipated a short while thereafter, and you spend most of the time soaking up the sun and gossiping with June and Lili, while the remainder swim, read or play beach games.

“There’s no way that shit’s fair!” Denki yells as the third volleyball of the day pops after Kirishima’s harsh spike. “You’re supposed to be playing Quirkless!”

“I am!” Kirishima fires back, raising his palm.

“What the fuck kind of calluses do you have then, bro?!” 

“Are you calling me a fucking liar, bro ?” The normally easygoing redhead now stands with a fierce looking expression and the two glare at each other from the opposite sides of the net while Shoto reminds the group that they’re officially out of spare balls.

Lili from a distance, a book she’s not reading still in hand, glances over at the commotion then leans into the small three-person circle in the sand you’ve made to whisper.

“I swear I forget Shoto is here sometimes,” she giggles.

“Yeah, right?” June says, laughing a little too loudly and for a little too long. You and Lili give her a strange look and she turns suddenly to take a long sip of water. Lili wrinkles her nose further and you can see her mind working but she doesn’t say anything additional. When the three of you turn around again, Shoto is staring in your direction, and the two of you (with the exception of June who doesn’t turn) wave at him; he waves back, then heads back to the water for a swim.

You decide to change the subject.

“Is Shinsou okay?” you ask and June seems to pale even further but Lili shrugs.

“He won’t talk to either of us,” Lili says, slathering more sunscreen on her legs. She hasn’t dipped into the water once since you’ve gotten here, claiming she’s a bad swimmer, despite the fact that the UA Hero Course requires the basic skill, and despite Katsuki taking the time to chew her out extensively for being a first responder that’s nervous about swimming.

“I guess we’ll wait till he’s ready,” you offer noncommittally.

“What’s wrong with Boom Patrol over there?” Lili asks in return. “I’m surprised you’re not attached at the hip.” You cut a glare at her and she grins slyly. 

“Family stuff,” you reply, curtly.

Lili and June both shift to concern.

“Everything okay?” June asks.

You sigh. “I mean he won’t tell me details but apparently something important is going to be discussed in a couple days so it’s making him nervous.”

Lili crosses her arms.

“I hope he’s not sad throughout the vacation. That would suck.”

You nod. Katsuki really needs a break, and you do too given all you do, and hopefully he can push whatever’s going in the back of his mind just for a little while.

---

By evening the beach air is cool and salty but you are warm around a roaring fire. You sit across from Katsuki on the other end, and are flanked by Denki on one side and Lili on the other. June divides Bakugou and Kirishima, and Mina draws in close to the redhead. Shoto and Shinsou sit next to each other, cross-legged, and Shinsou appears far more bothered by this arrangement than Shoto is.

Kirishima clearly notices this and tosses a beer to him over the fire, which clearly upsets Izuku.

“Hey man, you look a little stressed, get started on drinking first!” Kirishima and Mina link arms while shotgunning theirs, while Shinsou puts his beer down in irritation.

Shoto asks him if he’s gonna drink that, and Shinsou gets up and squeezes between Lili and Izuku. Izuku gives him the slightest glare but says nothing while Lili gives him a quizzical look, whispering a “is everything okay?” and Shinsou saying something about a draft on the other side he’s trying to avoid.

Shoto looks at him and blinks but then cracks open the beer Shinsou’s left behind. June stares quickly at Shoto and then Shinsou and then downs her own beer.

“Do you have anything other than beer?” Lili asks, frowning. “Sorry to be annoying.”

“And yet you did it anyway,” Katsuki says, over the flames. Lili throws an empty can at him. 

“Can we not throw flammable objects over the fire?” Izuku asks, exasperated.

“Chill, Izuku, we’ve got Shoto here to put it out,” Denki laughs, the flush in his cheeks from him starting ahead of everyone else betraying his tipsiness.

“I only deal with emergencies,” he replies flatly. June stifles a laugh and Shinsou glares at her briefly. 

A few more moments of banter pass until Mina has the suggestion of playing Truth or Dare which has both Lili and Izuku share the same grimace in unison, Denki very excited, and Mina starting first.

“Okay, I’ll start and I’m picking…” She scans the group, and settles on Lili who already looks upset at being singled out.

“I dare you to submerge yourself over there in the ocean for a full 3 minutes.”

Lili’s mouth falls open. She looks to Izuku who gives her a sympathetic and useless look.

“I literally hate water and it’s dark and-”

Mina sticks out her tongue mischievously. “That’s why I asked you to do it, silly. It’s a DARE.”

Lili makes her way desolately to the freezing water, dips her toe in, looks again to Izuku to save her while the group stays with arms crossed, and sighs before running in.

“You LITERALLY perform rescues for a living!” Bakugou yells again, irritated.

“Fuck you!” she calls out in the distance, then disappears. The group watch, themselves holding their breath for the next three minutes, and she pops back up. Izuku lets out a sigh of a relief and helps her out and Bakugou rolls his eyes. You laugh, standing beside him.

“Why is she so dramatic?” Bakugou mumbles as Lili makes a show of shivering while soaking wet and Izuku deflects her complaints about her boyfriend not protecting her.

“Leave her alone,” you say, lightly. He shakes his head. “Don’t let her rub off on you,” he murmurs as the group rejoin the circle.

The next dare is Mina being asked to set her own acid on fire and Izuku groans while Lili tries to calm him down. The one after that involves a race between Kirishima and Denki along the sand which terminates in Denki slipping and passing out and a quick bout of unnecessary CPR.

“We’re switching to truth,” June finally decides after that.

And the first truth question is from Shinsou, who looks directly at her, and with clear vitriol in his eyes that the entire group can see, asks:

“How did you sleep last night?”

June pales, again, the flickering flames doing nothing to negate her ghostly visage.

“W-well…?”

Shinsou says nothing further, and June swallows hard. By now, it’s clear that something is up. 

Shoto is next up, and asks Kirishima his opinion on casual sex, which has the group’s eyes widen completely. 

“Dude, what?”

Shoto finishes his second beer. “Answer the question.”

Kirishima looks at Mina who is clearly flustered, and answers, “I-I think it’s fine? Maybe?” He turns and Mina is gritting her teeth. “No, actually casual sex is terrible.”

There is a pause, then the group bursts out in laughter.

“I guess since now we’ve moved to this part of the night,” Denki starts, rising up from his passed out position in the sand, he looks directly at you, and points.

“Tell us how you feel about Katsuki. Right now.”

His words slur but they’re still sharp and pointed. 

You’re caught off guard. For some reason, today, tonight , possibly because of the alcohol and the dark, and the fact that Lili looks cozily wrapped in a blanket as she rests against Izuku, Shinsou shifted to the wayside, and the crackling fire, you feel more vulnerable, and actually for once, pause to answer this question.

Your face is warm and you know it has nothing to do with the flames. When you look over the fire at the man in question, he is looking intently at you, lips slightly parted. You’re surprised he hasn’t rescued you by starting a ruckus, and it dawns on you that he too, for once, might actually want to know.

You stumble on your words for a moment, nothing coming out of your mouth.

“What do you want me to say?” you sputter out instead. There’s a sudden lump in your throat. Katsuki is already in a bad mood, you have to choose your words wisely you think; the obvious answer is ‘we are just friends’ but why are you not suddenly saying it? And why isn’t he saying it? And why are so many eyes suddenly on you?

Why is he staring at you?

“We’re friends,” Katsuki says finally. “Don’t ask stupid ass questions.”

Katsuki walks over and sits next to you.

“You drunk?” he asks. But instead, he places a hand on your forehead as if you were sick instead. You are not drunk. You are confused.

“Party foul!” Kirishima says, laughing, trying to keep the mood light. They switch back to dares, and Mina somehow manages to shotgun six beers at once. Your head spins. Lili and June give you and then each other a concerned look, and Katsuki decides to pull you aside to talk, slipping away from the rest of the party.

---

You’re not sure where Katsuki is taking  you, but wherever it is it’s in the wrong direction of either the van or the beach house, just away from prying eyes, the huddled bodies of drunken young adults becoming smaller and smaller in the distance.

“Katsuki, I’m okay, I just think the alcohol got to me, and I got a little dazed so - ” you explain as Bakugou continues to pull you along the sand at an oddly quickened pace.

He stops suddenly enough that you almost stumble and turns in your direction.

“Tell me.”

Katsuki stuns you for the second time that night. There’s a new pensive expression on his face, and you realize that you remember that look - the same one you recall from the day after he re-emerged from intensive care on that terrible day in second year, and woke up with a scar across the right side of his face and miraculously spared vision…

And you sitting right beside him.

You’re too far from the flames to be this warm, and the salty sea breeze does nothing to cool you down. The beach waves mount and crash against the rocks at the coast and your thoughts remain loud and clear nonetheless. You wonder when it became so often like this, your feelings muddled every time the two of you found yourself alone, but that’s the least of your problems right now.

“Tell you what?” you ask, your voice barely a whisper. 

You cannot possibly be this drunk. 

“There was something else you wanted to say, I could tell…”

Of course he can - he knows you almost better than yourself. And yet, Bakugou is uncharacteristically hushed too. You both mull over the moment yet again and try to collect your thoughts.

Bakugou realizes he’s still holding your wrist and lets go suddenly, and now you both stand and face each other.

You’ve heard your entire life that you and Katsuki were meant to be. You’ve taken that for granted because all friends are somewhat in love with each other, aren’t they?

“You’re important to me,” you offer.

Katsuki gives you a look that is meant to look you up and down, and the bottom of his lip quivers ever so slightly, and suddenly it clicks.

Important is not the word for it. It’s more than that. 

But you don’t elaborate. Instead, you smile like you usually do, turning off any emotions that risk falling out of line. 

And it seems like Katsuki is just about done with it, because suddenly he reaches over and cups your face in his hands.

“___,” he says your name, and it’s not harsh, or teasing or soft in the same way it’s always been. Your eyes widen as he looks into them, eyebrows furrowed as if he is deciding what the right route to take is.

And then he decides, and before his lips meet yours, you’ve realized which path you’re taking.

The waves continue to crash, and you can no longer see or hear your friends, and you are kissing your best friend for the very first time.

[cheapbodyshots]

A Courting Process: III

“You might feel better if you just do it”

He shoots you a glare before gagging again and facing the bush. You thought helping Bakugou would be a good way to give yourself a little distance to cool off after talking to Midoriya so…intimately…. But now you just felt bad for him, hunched over the shrubbery trying to keep it together.

“Really, throwing up might help. Why’d you even drink this much? You could have had something else…Don’t you know your limits?” “...Never done it”

“Never done what? Beer pong?” “Alcohol”

Oh.

Now you feel like an asshole. You slowly approach to guide him away from the bush and sit him down on the front lawn before offering him the water bottle. He takes a few sips before leaning back on his elbows to stare up at you-clearly the alcohol is starting to hit him really hard.

“I think you might be done for the night. Maybe you should ask Midoriya to take you home?”

“‘M not askin’ shit”, a pause, like he’s gonna say something more, before flopping all the way back onto the grass and shutting his eyes. You wait a second before deciding to plop down next to him. 

“You’re new to town right? Staying with your cousin, right?” 

You watch as his face scrunches into a scowl before he gives you a short nod. 

“Well…what do you do for work then?”

He pops one eye open to give you a side eye with a scowl.

“What? I’m not very good at small talk, and you could help me out here!”

He tries to ignore you, so you try to poke his cheek and force him to pay attention to you. The moment you make contact, he grabs your wrist and pulls you so you fall across his chest.

“Quiet”

“--Excuse me??”

“Don’t talk, ’s loud”

“Me??? I’m loud??”

He gives your arm another tug before using his other hand to push your head into his chest (to quiet down your supposedly loud mouth, or perhaps to smother you, we’ll never know). You struggle a bit, but those muscles are not just for show, and he holds you down easily, wrapping both arms around your torso. You protest a bit more before just sitting still and waiting for him to release you.

The alcohol must really be messing with him as he begins to stroke your hair for a few minutes before ultimately stilling as his breathing evens out. Wait a goddamn minute-did he just–is he–no fucking way. 

He fell asleep. Or, maybe passed out is the more accurate way to put it. But still, he could have at least released you first before deciding to take a nap on the front lawn.

You try to wiggle out of his grasp, but even in a dead drunken sleep, he’s still too strong to move off of you. Fate has left you lying ass up and facedown on this man’s chest with no exit-granted, this could be worse, you think. His pecs are quite comfy, and when else do you have the opportunity to be nestled within a nice pair like this? Enjoy it while it lasts, I suppose; you muse to yourself.

It’s in this position Kirishima finds you about 20 min later after coming out to make sure his friend is ok.

Once he’s finished laughing, he snaps a photo of you two before helping you pry his arms off you (even with two people it's not easy-the man has strong grappling instincts apparently). Once you're free, Kirishima picks up his friend and drags him over his shoulders to carry him inside. You follow, slightly worried, as he brings him upstairs and promptly deposits him on a bed with little delicacy. Bakugou barely stirs, rolling onto his side before beginning to snore. 

“He’ll be alright, right?”

“Yeah, he’ll be fine. Pissed as hell in the morning,” he chuckles, “but fine. You alright?” You laugh a bit, “Yeah I’m fine. The surprise cuddle session wasn’t too bad!”

You both share a giggle before making your way back downstairs, where the party has mellowed out. Your new green haired friend keeps sneaking glances at you as you chat with the others in the kitchen again into the wee hours of the morning, until there’s only a few stragglers left. Denki sobs and clings to your legs when you start to prepare to leave sometime around 3am. After some help from Mina, who gives you an apology for Denki being a “sloppy drunk”, you manage to escape to the front lawn before waving off Midoriya and the others as you find your keys and drive home to sleep. The alcohol (and your social battery) has worn off, and it’s time to rest, although you have already promised to meet up with them on the beach when they come again to surf on Friday again. 

What a night.

When you arrive at the beach next Friday, Denki and Kirishima are already there, along with Midoriya, Bakugou, lounging on the beach, clearly relaxing after already being out in the water. Naturally, Denki spots you first.

“HEY BABY!!! I’m so glad you made it!! I missed you so m-” Kirishima knocks him on the back of his head with a disappointed face.

You laugh and give a wave as you approach the group. They return a chorus of hellos when you get close, with the exception of Bakugou’s grunt of acknowledgement. As you chat with Kirishima and try not to meet Bakugou’s ever-present burning stare (Seriously, you were starting to wonder if something was wrong with him, or it’s just your face) you notice it. 

Not only can Midoriya not meet your eyes, he appears to be giving you a 6 foot radius at all times. However, as you settle in, Denki and Kirishima drag Bakugou off for his “surf lessons”, you can feel him tense behind you, despite your confusion.

“How are you doing Izuku?”

He gives you a nervous smile, followed by incoherent mumbling, as he looks to the ground and folds his hands together.

…More confusion

“It's alright that I call you that right? You said it was ok at the party…is it?”

His gaze shoots up to meet yours,“YES! Yes! It’s totally fine! Actually better…” and continues his ramblings, avoiding your eyes and scratching his head.

“Is everything ok? You seem uncomfortable…Did I do something?”

“No! Not At All! I just…” He takes a few seconds, stewing on his thoughts, as his face becomes completely flushed, all the way up to his ears.

“I’M REALLY SORRY!” He bows at the waste and starts again, at a normal volume this time.

 “I’m really sorry about the party, I think I was way too forward with you, and if you don’t already hate me, I would really really  like to take you out on a date”

[volturiwolf]

Ker si en delček vzela s seboj - Bojan x fem!musician!reader - part 2

A/N: Sentences/words written in italics are in their native languages.

A/N 2: Not everything is accurate/according to what actually happened. Many things are made up, like this story.

A/N 3: This story and the way the characters play out have nothing to do with the real people. This is an imaginary story, in an imaginary world, with imaginary situations.

This series contains mature/adult content (use of drugs and alcohol, explicit material, swearing, etc).

I woke up in the morning, having no idea what time it was. My eyes felt so heavy I could barely open them, but I knew I had to eventually, because if I didn't, I'd quickly fall back asleep again.

So, I forced myself to open them, expecting to find a sleepy Bojan lying beside me. Though, when I did manage to fully open my eyes, I realized that Bojan was gone and I wasn't wearing my nightgown anymore. Or my underwear if I were honest.

I jumped off the bed, covering myself with the sheets, whisper-shouting "Bojan? Bojan?" around the room, hoping he was in the bathroom.

"Bojan's not here, (Y/N)."

I turned around to see Mini having a smoke on the balcony. She had changed clothes since last night. But how did she, if she slept over at Alex's?

"Bojan was never here, (Y/N). You were hallucinating."

What?

Mini pointed at the bottle of wine on top of my nightstand. "I got this bottle out of curiosity; to see what I'd do to me. I think I got my answer already."

I was still totally confused. Why wasn't Bojan here? What happened last night? What's in that wine? Why was I naked? 

I felt a liquid running down the back of my neck and back. I wasn't sweating that much. I patted my head. Was my hair wet?

I stumbled to grab the bottle and check around the label. Shit!

"Why does this wine have cannabis in it?"

"Because I wanted to try it out! Why did you open it?"

"I was tired and I wanted to take a sip. I didn't see what it was!"

"Really? You didn't notice the big skull in the front?"

"At that time, I thought it was just the aesthetic! I didn't think of it! Obviously!" 

"Okay, whatever, that doesn't matter right now. What matters is that, even in this state, you're clearly obsessed with Bojan, to the point where you self-destruct yourself. Again. I think it would be better for you AND the band if you stopped…whatever this is. This isn't you. Since when do you even drink so much?!" 

I took a look at the bottle in my hands. Over half of it was gone. I'd usually have a glass or two and feel dizzy, but half of this? How did I even make it out alive?

"We’re less than a month away from the Semi-Finals and we have to think of the competition. YOU have to think of the competition. You have to focus on the competition, not hoping for someone who gave you mixed signals once and nothing more after that. Okay, (Y/N)? I sound cruel; I know that, but this is important for all of us. So, try to forget him and whatever he’s doing.”

Mini did sound cruel like she always did, but once again, she made sense. We were here to compete in a music competition that was broadcasted to the whole world. We were given a once-in-a-lifetime chance to show our talent to the world; to show that Greek can be as successful a language as English or other languages in the competition. Thinking of Bojan, or anyone else for the matter, should and could wait. 

“Yeah. You’re right. I should focus on our goals.”

“I knew you’d see that. I don’t say that you shouldn’t be friends or whatever you are even supposed to be right now, but think that we don’t do this just for ourselves but for the whole country, our families, and friends. To give them something to be proud of.” Mini caressed my cheek, her eyes pinned on me, full of meaning, reminding me to forget about unrelated things and not fuck up, like we promised to ourselves. "And try to take care of yourself, okay? Don't do crazy shit anymore."

“Okay, Mini. I understood that in the first place.” She didn’t have to be mean about it by bringing up such seriousness when we were supposed to have fun, no matter the result.

“I’m going back to the boys before they start to worry even more. When you called us last night and started blurring things on your phone, we all got worried for you. I’ll go calm them down.” Mini kissed my cheek and left me with thoughts racing through my mind.

What even happened last night? I barely remember myself tasting the 'wine' Mini brought here. But the evidence didn't lie. The bottle was almost gone; no glass needed. 

I tried to trace my steps back to anything that could possibly remind me of last night. The room was a bit messy, but that was probably because I messed up everything around already. I quickly put on a bra, underwear, a t-shirt, and shorts that I grabbed from my suitcase, and took two aspirins from the shared suitcase, along with some water, before I went on to investigate.

At first glance, the bed sheets were messy - I slept in them, after all. Mini and I's shared suitcase was open and a few snacks were missing - just like in my hallucination. Though when I looked over at the couch, they weren't there. I found them, at some point, under the bed, by Mini's side; all open, all partially consumed. Snacks that I wouldn't normally eat.

I went over to the bathroom, where I supposedly called Mini. There was still water dripping down the shower door and walls, and a few used towels tossed on the floor. Some black details stood out from the pile of white towels. I was disgusted that I had to go through the used fabrics, but I was now pretty sure that I made this mess anyway.

Pulling out the foreign fabric from the pile, I felt like I was instantly hit by a brick wall. It was a pair of “SEIZE THE DAY” boxers, and I knew already that there were only 5 people - maybe more, but I for sure knew 5 people - who only wore those for promotion.

I felt numb and dizzy. Who was here and left with no underwear? Why did he take his underwear off in the first place? What have I done? And most importantly, with whom?

I tried to gather up my mind, trying to remember anything from last night, but the more I did, the more my head hurt. I let myself slide on the floor, still holding the underwear in my hand. It didn’t have an identifier whose underwear it could be, but it was the only clue that narrowed down my hotel room’s “intruder”.

Also, the fact that Kris and Nace had girlfriends, narrowed down the results to 3 people. And I still didn’t want to think that I may have done something with any of those three. It would be so awkward and bad if I ever got to look any of them in the eyes, which was inevitable since today was the pre-party.

I cursed myself for getting wasted a day before the pre-party when we should have been focused on getting well-rested and performing for the fans. As painful as it was, I had to clear out everything before I could even walk on stage.

I pulled myself up and embraced myself. Just to be sure, I searched again through the pile until I confirmed that that was where I also got naked when I found my own underwear and the nightgown I was missing. I sighed heavily, before washing my hands meticulously.

I grabbed my phone and then it hit me: I was talking to my friends last night. Maybe I should have looked at my phone first. I clicked on the messages first. I had sent a message to Alex at 01:13, saying nothing - it was basically Greek letters here and there, making no sense. But Alex only read the message two and a half hours later.

I scrolled through my texts, having sent messages to all my bandmates after I texted Alex, and got no response. Still, no response from them for at least 2 or 3 hours. I saw that, for some reason, I texted Bojan?! I pressed to see the conversation, and it was so embarrassing from the very start:

(Y/N): Γειά, Μπουποογαν. Τι κνς; Πς εσιδοδςξφω ; !23μξ

B: ???

(Y/N): *Μπόγιαν *κάνεις u no wut? I ain’t gon try

B: (Y/N)? Are you texting me?

(Y/N): Yeaaa! How d u no it was m?

B: I suppose because you texted in…Greek? And your name is literally at the top of my screen.

(Y/N): hihihi

B: Btw this is Jan, Bojan is taking a shower and he’s taking too long in the bathroom, as usual.

(Y/N): cm here then.

B: What?

(Y/N): Bojan’s tkng 2 long. cm here. i’m alone

B: To do what?

(Y/N): 2 tk a showr. i no mind. i hav e3tr towls

B: Hey, can I text you from my number? It’s 0038659…..

(Y/N): Sur!

The texts stopped there, so I switched to the conversation with Jan’s number on it.

J: Hey, (Y/N). Are you okay? Where are your bandmates?

(Y/N): Out. they lef me her. min left a bootle vine. it tast fun. will u cm ovwer?

J: Okay, I will. You need someone to take care of you. I guess I’ll have to for now. I’ll be there in 5’.

(Y/N): Ok, Janci. c u soun.

The texts stopped there, and now I knew who I’d have to talk to about all this mess. What was I even thinking when I told him to come over to shower? Who does that? Why am I so cringy?

Talking to Jan was now my number one priority. I saw myself in the mirror; I was presentable enough to go out of my room, despite the obvious tiredness I still felt. I grabbed a purse and threw my keys and my phone in, and I put Jan’s underwear in my shorts’ pocket, heading to the elevator. Normally, I’d take the stairs, but I didn’t trust my legs now to get me up two floors. I looked around, seeing if anyone was watching me before I stepped in.

Within a couple of minutes, I was standing in front of Jan’s door. It was either that or one of three in total. Joker Out were spread among three different rooms, just like we were because the organizers preferred us to sleep in proper beds rather than couches.

I knocked on the door, waiting for someone to open up. After a minute, I knocked again, still waiting for an answer. The door opened, and a rather sleepy and upset Nace opened up. His hair was messy, but, thankfully, he was wearing pajamas.

“(Y/N)?” His voice was deeper than usual, and he sounded somewhat surprised or irritated, I couldn’t figure out which one. He was trying to rub sleep off of his eyes, but I was certain he’d rather be sleeping than talking to anyone right now.

“Hey, Nace, I’m sorry to bother you. Do you know where Jan’s room is? I needed to ask him something… About guitars.” The lie came out easily; of course, a guitarist would talk to another guitarist about guitars. Duh!

“Okay? He’s in room 507, down the hall.” He pointed towards my left side.

“Thank you.” I smiled at him, and he smiled a bit in response.

I waited until he shut his door to take a breath and embrace myself because shit was getting real and I still hadn’t decided what I was going to say to Jan. I walked down the hall until I found Jan’s door and knocked on it, a bit harsher than before.

I waited and waited, and knocked again. Either those guys were all passed out or they slept more heavily than even I did. The door opened, and while I was expecting to face Jan, I didn’t. Bojan opened up the door and he looked just as surprised as I was.

“Bojan?”

“Hey, (Y/N). Long time no see, right?” He laughed awkwardly.

“Yeah, it’s…been a while, right? Like a week? Less than a week?” I laughed back at him, also awkwardly. “I heard you got sick by the way. I’m so sorry. Do you feel any better now?”

He laughed but he was a bit more genuine than I was. “Yeah, I was a bit sick, but I’m better now, thank you for your worry. And I mean since we really saw each other. Back in Barcelona?”

“Oh, yeah. Things are going by so fast and you guys are growing so successful, and the interviews, and meet and greets, and everything, you know. And I met some of the girls that participate in the contest, and I thought it’d be good to connect with them too, you know?” I was trying to hide my nervousness, but my delirium did not help.

“Yeah, yeah. But I’d like to hang out again, whenever you feel like it, okay? I don’t want to intervene in your busy schedule, so just tell me when.” He laughed and my heart filled with the warmth of his charm. It was so easy to fall for the singer, and so hard to forget him.

“Don’t worry, if I ever find some time and want to hang out with anyone, I’ll let you know.”

“Okay.” His eyes were sparkling, and I had to remind myself why I was actually there.

“Right. Ehm, is Jan here? I needed to talk to him about guitars.”

“Guitars?” He raised one eyebrow as if he was trying to figure out both me and the real reason I was there.

“Yeah… I was actually looking for new guitars but I could not decide between a few models, so I needed some other guitarist’s expertise on it. And I figured out Jan knows his guitars and he could suggest something to me.”

“Oh, okay. I thought you knew more about guitars since you play better - and longer - than Jan, but don’t tell him I said that. I’ll never hear the end of it.” He put one finger on his lips to emphasize the ‘not telling Jan’ part.

“I would never tell him, I promise.” I raised my pinky and we made a ‘secret’ pact with our pinkies. “But I’m pretty indecisive about everything and anything. I really get stuck on the details and in the end, I have to use one of my old guitars. And I really have to buy a new one. That thing’s crying for help.”

Bojan let out a laugh, not taking his eyes off me yet. “Okay. I’ll leave you two alone to talk. I’ll go see Jure. Props to you if you manage to wake him up. He came back from your room really early today.” He winked at me and walked towards the path I came from.

I froze. How did Bojan know? Was it the texts on his phone? It was probably the texts on his phone! How much did he read? But he didn’t know what happened! Did Jan tell him anything? I didn’t even know what happened!

I felt my cheeks burning up from the embarrassment, but I remembered that I was still standing alone under the doorframe. I stepped into the hotel room and walked towards the beds where a sleepy Jan was lying, trying to avoid the small piles of clothes around the bed that were scattered all across the room. I approached his side.

He looked so peaceful and cute when he was sleeping. His lips looked full and puffy as they always were, and his hair was stuck around his face, but he looked like the most beautiful person I had ever seen at that very moment. He was also shirtless - I hoped he was just shirtless - and his chest was showing.

I couldn’t deny that I liked Jan - maybe, at first, not as much as Bojan, but my mind was reminding me of the subtle moments Jan and I were close all this time; during the pre-parties, or interviews, or when we would hang out all together.

I may have been focused on Bojan or on avoiding Bojan and thought that Jan was only a character in the background, but he was actually the quiet, discreet friend I needed. And apparently, the only one who immediately came to help me when I was at my lowest last night.

“Hey, Jan? Janči?” I whispered, trying to wake him up but not scare him. I shook him a bit - it didn’t work. I slid my hand through his hair. It was so soft, luscious, and shiny. And they were definitely still wet.

The feeling of caressing Jan’s head lit a memory in my mind of something that I either dreamed about or that actually happened, but I couldn’t remember exactly what, as the spark left as fast as it came. The sensation seemed to stir Jan a bit.

He mumbled a few things, but the only thing I could make out of his words was the sweet, yet deep “Bojči?” His voice was deeper and more coarse than usual, and it caused sensations all over my back, neck, and head.

“Hey, Jan, I’m not Bojan. Can you please wake up? I want to talk to you.”

He could barely open his eyes, but he seemed to recognize me quickly because he slipped away from my touch, trying to cover himself up. “(Y/N)? What are you doing here?” His eyes were popping out, and his hair was still sticking all over his face.

“Ehm, I don’t know where to start, so I’m just gonna give you this one back.” I reached out and grabbed Jan’s underwear from my pocket. It took him a few seconds to realize what it was, but when he did, he reached out to grab it with shaky hands.

“Is this my…?”

“I think so. You’re the one who came by my room last night, right?” 

Jan could not speak a word, but, by the way he seemed lost in thought, I assumed he either remembered something or was trying to remember something. “Yeah. Yeah. I came to your room. You…didn’t sound so well from the texts and I got worried. I came to check in on you. You opened the door, and you seemed really drunk. You…danced around? And you sang something in Greek? You offered me wine, I think.” Jan grabbed his head with both hands, and I assumed he had a terrible headache; the result of last night.

I grabbed a couple of aspirins that I knew I always left in my bag and the bottle of water standing on his nightstand. “Open up.” Jan opened his mouth and I popped the pills in and carefully gave him some water to swallow them down. “It will take a few minutes but you’ll soon feel a bit better.”

Jan looked at me. He was calmer now, his eyes shining, and whispered a ‘Hvala’. I smiled at him. The more I stared at him, the more fuzzy and warm inside I felt. I didn’t know if that was the result of last night or something I always felt for him deep inside.

I didn’t know what got inside me when I leaned to hug him tightly. Jan seemed taken aback but eventually hugged me back. He smelled like musk, but also baby powder, vanilla, and sandalwood; just like my hallucination Bojan did.

“What’s that for?”

“Because you were the only one who cared about me when I was at my lowest.” I let out a sob I was trying to hold in, and Jan hugged me tighter, one hand caressing me up and down my spine.

We stayed like that for a while. I didn’t want to let go of Jan. For some weird reason that I couldn’t explain, it felt like his hug brought immense meaning within it. In some weird way, it felt like I had someone who looked out for me; someone who cared; someone who wouldn’t like seeing me hurt.

It felt familiar and comforting in a way hugging a friend who you haven’t seen for a while and want to communicate all your feelings to felt like. It felt like a hug between friends who had been through a lot together, and only they could understand each other. In a sense, Jan and I had been going through this unique experience together, though at a bit of different pace, rhythm, and pressure.

But at the same time, it also felt like so much more than a simple hug between friends. Touching him made me feel warm and fuzzy on the inside again, and not in a friendly or cute way. No one could deny that Jan oozed mystery, eroticism, and desire. Every single member of JO looked like a different Greek god, but Jan's mystified persona reminded me of a forbidden fruit that I suddenly and desperately wanted to bite into.

I pulled away from the hug with a sudden hunger for the man before me. His eyes were looking me up and down, just like mine were. The air around us was charged and heavy as neither of us made a move or said anything. I saw Jan gulp and his Adam’s apple bob up and down.

With my newly-found confidence driven by my desire for him, I leaned forward capturing Jan’s lips with mine, as my hands went up to capture his cheeks. Sparks of memories that had most definitely happened bombarded my brain, and I was now sure that Jan and I kissed last night.

In the shower we took together, naked; on our way out of the shower and towards the bed, after we attempted to dry ourselves off; lying on the bed, on our sides, before Jan pulled me on his lap to straddle him. 

For some reason, it seemed that, at some point, my brain went off of the effect of the tempered wine, and I knew I was with Jan in the shower, and not Bojan, as my delusional mind wanted me to think. And I was okay with that, as long as he was.

As a response, Jan wrapped his arms around my back, and pulled me impossibly close, so much so that I felt his growing erection, even under the relatively thick fabrics of my underwear, shorts, and bed sheets. I left an involuntary moan on the contact, and Jan took the opportunity to deepen the kiss. I slid my hands through his thick, dark brown hair, pulling slightly, eliciting a moan from him this time.

Hearing him moan was the sexiest sound I had ever heard. His deep voice was already driving me insane, but his deeper moans created another level of ecstasy for me. As my hands were gliding between the back of his neck and his shoulder blades, he slightly pulled away, only to lift my t-shirt off of me and throw it somewhere on the floor.

We went back to making out, but Jan took his chance to leave kisses all over my neck; my weak spot. Goosebumps filled my whole skin, as his lips moved expertly over my cold skin that was now burning up from pleasure and delight. I moaned loudly - open mouth and everything - and I felt Jan smile against my skin.

I had never been touched like that, and though I had experienced neck kisses and whatnot, none of my previous partners was such an expert as Jan apparently was. He was nibbling, biting, leaving open mouth kisses, and generally driving me insane. One of his hands was grabbing a handful of my hair, just like I did, and the other one unclasped my bra. I let out a surprise sound and Jan laughed in return before I finally removed my bra and went back to making out.

Our bodies were pressed against each other and I was already in heaven. Jan’s hands traveled to my shorts, trying to pull them down, exposing my underwear and ass. At that moment, I was certain what was going to happen between us and I was too willing and horny not to respond to his touch.

My shorts being halfway down already gave Jan easier access into my underwear, as he slid one hand in. He started rubbing and circling my clit lightly, making me stand still and forget about everything else. As he started applying a bit more pressure, I could feel my mind slowly numbing; the only thing I felt was pure pleasure building up, and the only thing I heard was my sharp breathing, as Jan worked his magic fingers on me. 

But I was also pretty sure that someone had cursed me or given me the eye, because just as my shorts were almost off, exposing the entirety of my underwear and my ass, the door clicked and opened, and Bojan and Jure’s heads popped from the side, now staring at Jan and me. Their expressions were something between shock, embarrassment, and horniness.

I froze, trying to cover myself up, but Jan opted to cover me with the bed sheets and expose himself to his friends, which…could have happened before? I wasn’t sure. He covered his dick with his hands as he walked off the bed, talking to his friends in Slovenian. I wondered what he was telling them because he was stuttering, and I had never heard him stutter this much before.

As Jan was trying to talk to them, Bojan looked at me with a look I couldn’t really decipher; I wanted to say it was a look of jealousy, regret, possessiveness, and lust, but I was probably delusional once again. Did I regret not telling him I liked him since the beginning? Definitely. But would I not have sex with Jan if we weren’t caught? Definitely not.

I liked Jan, just as I liked Bojan, but Jan took his chance when he was given one. Both times. Bojan never approached me like this. Would he if he was given the chance? I wouldn’t know. He treated me as a friend, and then he avoided me, so I avoided him. And then Käärijä came along, and I let them be because he seemed happier all of a sudden. So, I wouldn’t know how and what he felt, and I was too chickened out to ask him directly anyway.

Speaking of Bojan, he just nodded, still looking at me, and he finally left, along with Jure who was smirking wildly and winking at me. If I wasn’t blushing before, I definitely was now. Not only because we got caught but also because we may have become a spectacle for Joker Out to gossip and laugh about. I just wanted the earth to open in two and swallow me whole.

Jan closed the door behind them and turned around to look at me. He looked just as embarrassed as I was, mouth agape, cheeks flushed, and hair somehow messier than before.

“Maybe I should go?” I suggested, and he only nodded. I pointed/asked him to turn around, and he turned his back on me as I was gathering up my clothes and putting them back on. I couldn’t help but take a sneak peek of his ass. Nice.

I quickly got dressed and ready to leave. I was too embarrassed to tell Jan anything, but I didn’t want to leave us on a bad note. I only dared to step on my tiptoes and lightly kiss him on the cheek, before I finally left the room. I didn’t get all the answers I came here for, but I got more than enough, as well as the certainty that this wouldn’t be a one-time thing between Jan and me.

.*.·:·.☽✧✦✧☾.·:·.*.·:·.☽✧✦✧☾.·:·.*.

My head was killing me already, and we still had a long day to go. It was our first performance in the Netherlands, in front of - probably - the biggest crowd I had seen at a pre-party so far. Fans had been gathering outside for a few hours now, while all the performers were inside, practicing before the big show.

Thankfully, everything else, regarding the interviews and sound checks, was going smoothly, and the only thing that bothered me for now was waiting another 10 or so minutes until lunch. The organizers were generous through and through, providing us with dressing rooms, our own bathrooms, extra help for our “instruments”, and a long buffet full of different options, catering to pretty much every dietary need and allergy.

Out of everything, I truly appreciated good food, so when the time came, I ate like I had never eaten before. I didn't expect such good food from Northern Europeans, but everything was delicious. It was probably the first time I didn't care if anyone was watching, and I finally enjoyed food after a long time.

Some would say that sandwiches, tarts, wraps, salads, and side dishes couldn't be considered food; more like snacks. And I would tell them that when you hadn't eaten properly for a while, these "humble" snacks would be considered the best food you had ever had. I grabbed a few snacks here and there and walked towards my bandmates’ table.

“I see we eat.” Alex giggled from my right side. His plate was already full, and he had another one like that next to it.

“They have options! Of course, I’m gonna eat!” It was probably the first time there was such a wide variety of snacks for everyone; usually, there were 5 options max, not over 20.

I went back to eating, finally happy to enjoy food again. While the others started chatting about their night out, I kept quiet, eating and occasionally looking around. The tables’ area wasn’t too big or too small, but with over 40 tables around for the acts and technicians, the room was already crowded. Most performers were sitting at their tables, eating, while others went around to have some chat and fun.

I felt a tap on my shoulder and I turned around to see who it was, still holding my sandwich because if I let it go, I wouldn’t guarantee Alex wouldn’t eat that as well. It was actually Teya and Salena, and I got so excited to see them that I actually let go of my sandwich.

“Hey, girlies!” We went for a group hug. “What are you up to?”

“So,” Salena started speaking, looking at Teya with a look they only understood, “we were thinking of playing a game between us, before the doors open and we have to take the stage. Would you like to join us?”

“What kind of game?”

“We were thinking of playing ‘Would you rather?’” Salena smiled widely.

“Are you sure about that? It can get pretty bad, pretty fast.”

“It will be just a few of us.”

“How few, Teya?”

“About 26.”

“26 are ‘a few’?!”

“Please, (Y/N)! Please, please, please!”

“I don’t know, guys.”

“Well, if only you come from your band, it will be 22, plus Alessandra and Brunette as the mediators, but we wanted to include as many people as possible.”

“Okay, I guess. I’ll come with you. Mainly because I like you too much to lose this opportunity to spend some time together and probably laugh at everyone.”

Teya and Salena cheered at that and squeezed me into another group hug. They were such nice and open people, honestly, and I couldn’t say no to whatever they asked me. I slipped away just for a second to tell my friends “I would go play with the other kids” and if they wanted to come. They laughed but refused to leave the table, saying that they may come by later.

I told them I’d see them in a bit, before I was dragged away by Teya and Salena, who, for some reason, were too excited for this whole ‘game’ we were going to play. I wondered what they had in their mind. Walking away from the table area, we walked towards the dressing rooms area where the others were already gathered. Jan smiled at me and I smiled back, feeling my heart fluttering.

“Okay, guys. Gather up. If we want to play this game right, we must explain the rules first.” Alessandra started. “We’ll ask a question and we’ll give you two options. If you choose option A, you’ll move towards me, to your left. If you choose option B, you’ll move towards Brunette’s side, to your right. Got it? Let’s start.”

We all walked in a line between the two girls, ready for the game to start. It seemed fun as a concept, but I was worried about the weird questions that were most likely to come.

“Okay, first question: Would you rather never be stuck in traffic again or never get another cold?’

That was so easy for me. My friends knew how much I hated getting sick, even if it was a small cold because I couldn’t stop complaining every time I got sick. And as for the traffic, there was no way you wouldn’t be stuck in traffic in Thessaloniki. One accident on the ring road around the city, and chaos was sure to ensue in the city.

A few chose never to get stuck in traffic, but I saw Bojan at my side, probably because of his latest experience which made him lose a couple of days before he could finally fly to Amsterdam. I laughed to myself.

“Would you rather travel the world for a year, all expenses paid, or have 40,000 euros to spend on whatever you want?”

This time I moved towards Alessandra’s side. It had always been a dream of mine to travel around the world, but the financial part was what prevented me. If I could travel, I’d travel the whole of Europe, and then the Americas, Oceania, Asia, and then Africa. If I could, I’d also love to travel to Antarctica, just for the experience. I saw that everyone had actually chosen the same thing.

“Would you rather be the only one drunk at a party or the only one sober?⁠”

Oh, that was a good one, but I knew already so I moved to Brunette’s side.

“Really, (Y/N)?” Jure called from the “only one drunk” side, smirking and laughing.

“Yeah. Alcohol gets to me quickly. I don’t look good drunk.”

I thought I heard Jan whispering “You do.” from nearby, also having chosen the “only one sober” side. I felt my cheeks burning slightly at Jan’s cute comment, and I tried to hide my involuntary smile, going back in the line.

“Okay. The next question is not really a ‘would you rather’, but I really like it: Cats or dogs?”

Also easy. Probably the easiest to answer, as I moved to Alessandra’s side, along with Jure, Jan, and Kris, out of the 22 of us.

“Really?!” Jure questioned me.

“Yeah! I love cats! I actually had a family cat. Well, my sister did, but we all took care of him.” The memory of our baby brought me instant sadness.

Jan noticed. “What happened to him?”

“It’s a really long story. But…he was hit by a car.” It was still difficult to think about it.

Jan didn’t say a word but caressed my knuckles in understanding. As a cat dad himself, I couldn’t even imagine the pain he’d feel if anything happened to his cat, Igor.

"I'll be honest. I'm actually surprised that you, Kris, chose cats. I thought of you as more of a dog person."

"Yeah, dogs are cool, but I really like cats. They're fun and relaxed. And also crazy and hyperactive, which is me in both cases." The tallest guy of all here laughed, and his face turned bright pink. The young one was adorable.

“So, no dogs then?” Bojan tried to put his two cents in the conversation.

“No, not really. I’m actually terrified of dogs. I’ve been chased…3 times before. Two of them I was really young. One was many years later. It was a tiny dog but still, I haven’t run faster in my life.” I laughed, as others joined me, and we walked back in line.

“I can help you with your fear if you would like.” Bojan whispered from behind me.

“I appreciate that, but there’s nothing and nobody to help me get over my phobia.” I whispered back at him, snorting.

“I can try.” I felt him smirking.

“We’ll see about that.” I turned my focus on Alessandra and Brunette, as Bojan caressed my back. His touch brought goosebumps all over my back and sides, but I refused to react in any way.

“Next question is triggering for Alessandra.” Brunette laughed, as she continued, “Would you rather eat pasta with ketchup or carrots with Nutella?”

“Are the carrots boiled, grilled, or raw?” Kris asked a reasonable question because I also had that same question.

“Let’s say raw.” Alessandra answered, with an eyebrow raised, waiting for people’s answers.

I moved to Alessandra’s side and she kept looking at me as I kept looking at her. It felt like a scene from ‘The Office’.

“Ma perché, (Y/N)? Perché?” Alessandra turned into a triggered Italian within seconds.

“‘Cause I’ve eaten pasta with ketchup before. It’s not that bad, though it is really sweet. But if you said boiled carrot, I’d probably try that. So…it’s really on you.” I was holding back my laughter as Ales was fighting to keep the Italian in her but chose to laugh instead, thankfully.

“Next question: Would you rather get rich in a way that upsets your family or just make enough money to live?”

That was a question that divided us. Almost half chose one side and the other half chose the other side.

“Does anyone want to elaborate on choosing option A?” Asked Brunette.

“Well, we already do something that upsets our family one way or another, so we might as well get rich out of it.” Jan stated the obvious.

“I second that. Balkan parents can disapprove of anything that’s not university-, teaching-, doctor-, or lawyer-related.” I replied, and others also seemed to agree with Jan and me.

“Well, it makes sense, I guess. I haven’t experienced that ‘disapproval’, honestly, so I wouldn't know.” Alessandra shrugged. Lucky you.

“Next question: Would you rather stay in or go out on a Friday night?”

Again, easy for me, as I walked over to Alessandra’s side. Only Jan followed me this time.

“Okay, party people.” I laughed at the 20 people who were standing across from me.

“Do you seriously prefer to stay in instead of going out, (Y/N)?” Salena questioned me, dancing around a bit.

“Yeah! The most I went out clubbing was when I was 16, and that was a long time ago. But seriously, I so much prefer staying in, watching Netflix, listening to music, coming up with lyrics or melodies, sleeping, or just lying down on the couch. But don’t target me! Jan chose the same thing!”

“Jan is a cat. He’s tired of everything, and prefers sleeping in.” Nace burst into laughter, and Bojan, Kris, and Jure followed suit.

“Jure is also a cat!” I pointed out the obvious.

“Yeah, but Jure is a crazy, orange cat. You can’t stop him when he starts going crazy.” Kris replied, in between laughs, and the JO boys started singing “And when the world got me going crazy”, like they usually did.

Yeah, Jure seemed nuts, but in a good way. He was good nuts. He probably was the impersonation of everyone’s impulsive thoughts put into one person. I loved that for him. He was everything I sometimes wished I was, but I still knew that I got bored of everything as quickly as I got interested in them.

“Okay, fair enough. But, side note, if you manage to convince me to go out, and I’m actually having a good time, you won’t be able to get me back home early. Just ask my bandmates.” I raised an eyebrow, smirking. It was true that I didn’t enjoy going out, but once I was mentally prepared to go out, nothing else mattered.

“We’ll note it down for the next time, then.” Jure smiled and winked at me, while Jan coughed next to me, to which the older blonde stopped smiling. I didn’t want to know what was going on between them, though I had a thought.

“Ehm…”, Alessandra interrupted whatever was going on, “...should I continue? The next questions are…a bit…sexual.” She pursed her lips, not knowing what to do.

There were a lot of enthusiastic “Yeah!”s, mostly from the guys, so Alessandra had no other option but to go on.

Alessandra shallowed before asking “Would you rather have a sex playlist with classical music on it or hardcore rock?”

I walked towards Brunette’s side, mostly because I didn’t enjoy classical music in any situation, and hardcore rock could, most likely, lead to hardcore situations - not that I had ever lived something like that, but a girl can only dream, right?

What surprised me was that there were a few people who chose classical music over hardcore rock, like Alika, Andrejs, Jeffery, Andrii, Mia, Mae, and even Salena, who I thought was an actual rocker. Other than that, I expected that Joker Out and Jere would choose the hardcore rock.

“Okay, the next question is worse, so I’m gonna have Brunette ask the questions from now on.”

Brunette laughed, until she saw the question, swallowing. “Ehm, okay this is awkward, I’m just gonna start with that. Would you rather have long, slow sex or a quickie?”

Oh, that was an embarrassingly interesting question to which I didn’t have a direct reply. Both were enjoyable, each one in their own nature and sense, under different circumstances and times, and each one required different prerequisites. I decided to remain neutral.

“(Y/N)? Will you pick a side?” Alessandra showed between both lines.

“I think I’ll remain neutral in this question, ‘cause I cannot choose both at the same time, right?”

“No, but is it even allowed? Can you remain neutral?”

The others started whispering around, not knowing if there were even rules for this game.

“Okay, let’s just say you can remain neutral if you cannot pick a side. Anyone else wants to switch after that?”

And suddenly, pretty much everyone moved between the two girls, not actually knowing definitively what to choose between the two options. I smirked because I was pretty sure nobody preferred either over the other; they each had their own magic and their different needs to fulfill, so, personally, I could never say one was better than the other.

“Okay, and last question because we don’t want to go out on the stage looking like that. Would you rather be kissed all day or teased all day?”

I took a minute to think well about it, before moving to Brunette’s side for the last time. Funny thing was that both Jan and Bojan chose the same thing as I did, and it really made me wonder how it would feel like to tease them all day long. Or be teased by them all day long. Fuck! Focus, (Y/N)! Though, thinking about it again, it didn’t seem right to ‘play’ with both of them like that, or them playing with me.

“I think we’re not gonna go with a follow-up question, just for the sake of our own sanity, okay? We learned a lot about each other already.” Alessandra looked like she was gonna have a meltdown, and I wanted to laugh looking at her, but it wasn’t appropriate.

I turned to look at Teya and Salena, and mouthed a “I told you it’d turn really bad, really quickly.” Both girls slightly blushed, but still laughed quietly. I guessed they seemed to like the whole thing that led us to open up at this level.

I took a look at my phone. We still had about 30 minutes to be done with lunch before the doors opened for the audience, and we had to go backstage to get ready. I thought I had enough time to grab something to eat, so I walked back to the table where my bandmates were still sitting, having eaten my food as well.

I gave Alex an unamused look because I was certain he was the one who ate my food, to which he just smiled and did a halo above his head. That bitch ate twice or thrice as much as the average person and was still fit. I wondered how he would actually look like if he didn’t spend so much time at the gym.

I rolled my eyes, walking toward the bathroom to look myself up and fix whatever needed to be fixed. In reality, I could spend hours looking at myself, staring at every imperfection and messing up with every single pimple or scar I saw.

I tried to keep myself from reopening wounds, but they always fascinated me too much not to scratch them. I liked the way my blood dripped on small streaks. I didn’t think of myself as ‘weird’ on that topic, until others pointed it out - that it was weird to scratch my healing wounds, just to see the blood dripping.

I tried extra hard to control myself, especially now that we were watched by the general public. I didn’t want people to think I was weird, but I couldn’t find any alternatives or solutions, and the more I kept looking at myself and the small bumps on the surface of my skin, the more I imagined some pimples here and there, and the more my hands were eating me to scratch and pinch my skin.

I needed to keep myself occupied before I dared touch my face. I needed a smoke. I walked out of the bathroom, looking for someone who I knew smoked a lot and pretty much everywhere and every time I saw him. I found him sitting at their table, eating and chatting with Kris.

“Hey, Jure? Can I ask you a favor?”

The blonde man turned around on his chair, swallowing down his food before answering. “Yeah, sure.”

“Do you have a cig to spare?”

He looked at me in slight disbelief. “Yeah. Let me check.” He stuck his hand in his pocket and pulled out half a pack of cigarettes. “I didn’t know you smoked.”

“I usually don’t. I haven’t smoked in a while, actually, but I need it right now.”

Jure passed me the pack and a purple lighter. “Take them if you want. I have more with me.”

“Are you sure? I just needed one.”

“Yeah, I am. One is never enough, (Y/N).” He smiled understandingly.

“Hvala, Jurček.” I put the pack and lighter in my pocket, so nobody could see, and smiled at my peer, who, though blonde and Slovene, was acting like a proper Greek, or, better yet, a true Balkan.

I walked towards the nearest exit, letting the cool air hit me. I was grateful for how cool the air was at times in Northern Europe. Back home, it was cool but still warmer than here. Here I would still need a jacket in a month or so, while t-shirts and sleeveless dresses would be the only things I could handle with Greece’s heat.

I leaned against the wall, taking a breath and trying to loose my thoughts. I looked around to make sure nobody was there, before pulling the pack from my pocket and taking a cigarette out. I lit it and took a puff, feeling the smoke filling my insides quickly. I coughed a bit, quite unused to smoking for a while. The more I puffed, the quicker my lungs remembered how it was when I smoked.

I usually didn’t drink alcohol or regular coffee; I usually didn’t smoke. But I seemed to have stepped over a few ‘rules’ of mine lately, so why not break more? I wondered when was the last time I smoked. I hadn’t smoked either since before Covid or for two years now; I wasn’t sure. But I know I did smoke shisha at some point during the last 2 or 3 years, and I had also picked up vaping at some point.

It didn’t matter anyway. The smoke was slowly obfuscating my mind enough to make me forget about my sudden worries or my habit and urge to ‘self-destruct’, as my friends called me picking on my skin, among other things.

I told Jure I would only smoke one cig, but he was right. One cig led to another one, as the smoke burned my tongue and made me dizzy enough to finally relax. I didn't even look up when the exit door near me opened, not caring if anyone saw me now. My bandmates knew me already, and I didn't care enough for anyone else's opinion.

"Hey, (Y/N), Kris told me I'd find you here." I would recognize that voice among a thousand others. Because that voice still made me weak on my knees.

"Yeah, I wanted to take a break. You?"

"I wanted to talk to you."

"Oh." I wouldn't expect him to talk to me, especially after our awkward encounter earlier that day. Being surrounded by others calmed the awkwardness, but the two of us alone?

"You shouldn't be smoking, you know." He looked at me sadly, but he also was clearly criticizing me.

"Bojan, I've seen you smoke as well. And you're your band's singer. Nothing will happen if I smoke." I took another drag of the cigarette before it was snatched and stomped on by Bojan's foot.

"Ei! Why are you trying to take charge? Go back inside! Your band will be looking for you." I reached into my pocket to grab another cigarette before Bojan grabbed them and threw them away.

"What are you doing? These weren't yours!"

"They weren't yours either. Why are you trying to hurt yourself?"

Why did he seem to know everything that was going on with me? "I'm not trying to hurt myself. Just…mind your own business, please." I didn't want to be mad at him, but I had no patience at all.

"I cannot watch you do that to yourself. You're too good and too innocent to smoke. Don't hurt yourself, please." Bojan's hand caressed my cheek lightly as his eyes half-closed, and my heart was about to burst out of my chest.

I didn't want to like him - I needed to forget him, so I could try with Jan, something which I wanted, but Bojan didn't seem to share the same intentions with me. Before I could even process a thought to blurt out, he leaned forward and pressed a light kiss on my lips.

Despite how small and soft that kiss was, it still made me feel heavenly. I didn't realize I had closed my eyes, and when I opened them, Bojan was still looking at me, smirking lightly, probably seeing how much he affected me.

"Don't play with me, Cvjetićanin. I'm not in the mood for games."

"I'm not, believe me. I like you. A lot. I have liked you since Barcelona. And I'm tired of trying to hide it just because I don't know how you feel about me. I want to know how you feel, (Y/N)."

It took me a minute to process a thought. "What if it's not what you want to hear?"

Bojan gulped deeply. "I'll respect your decision and I won't try to pursue you anymore. I'll move on and won't disturb you ever again if that's what you want. Or we can stay friends, or whatever you want."

I bit my tongue, trying to think of a way to let him down slowly, but I had to be honest, otherwise, everything would turn against me eventually.

"For everyone's sake, I'll tell you the truth. My truth. And frankly, I don't care what you or anyone else thinks at the end, okay?"

Bojan simply nodded, waiting for me to finally speak up.

"I have liked you since our tour around Barcelona. On the first night, at the lobby hotel, when we first met, I thought you were obnoxious and thought of yourself as above everyone else. But you're not. You're a good person and that's what attracted me to you. But you're also a serious flirt, and when I saw you with Mae, I lost it."

"You're talking? I lost it when I saw you on Alex's lap. I thought you guys were together and every chance I got to get to you was lost at that very moment."

"What are you talking about? Alex and I are just friends! That's what we do! We're so close to each other that it seems weird to an outsider but we've been in the same band for a decade. Aren't you, Kris, and Jan like this? You've known each other forever!"

"Well, yeah, but…"

"Don't assume situations, Bojan. Just because you see two people close to each other, doesn't mean they're together, or fucking, or whatever."

"But you assumed the same thing about me!"

"Yeah, because you were actively flirting with pretty much everyone. And I am tired of this behavior. I've been through it before, I don't want to relive it. So, I decided that I'm gonna protect myself first, and that's when I started avoiding you. And then, you were flirting with Noa, and I had seen your post about Noa, Bojči, so don't try to deny that you like her."

"I'm not, but I don't like her the way I like you. That post was way before I got to meet and know you. To be honest, I forgot about her the moment I saw you."

"And then, it was Käärijä, who I actually love and respect a lot, so when I saw you were genuinely happy when you were with him, it made me realize that I may have finally lost you, but at least you found someone who puts a genuine smile on your face, and who makes you forget all your worries."

"Jere is just a friend. Yeah, we like to play this 'will they/won't they' game, because for some reason it excites the fans, but I don't think of him like that, (Y/N). Not entirely, at least. I'm not against gay people, I'm an ally, but that's all we are. That's all we ever were."

"I'm an ally too, and part of the community actually, which was why my first thought was that you like him as more than a friend. And still, if you ever felt something more about him, you should let him know, before it’s too late. Don’t make the same mistake I did. Otherwise, you’ll end up confused and lost, and you won’t know what to do or say.”

“You are LGBTQ+?” Bojan was now looking at me with a lot of genuine curiosity, not weirdness or disgust.

“Yeah, I’m bi, actually.” It was probably the first time I was so casual about my sexuality with someone I didn’t know that well. Because, let’s be honest, despite the attraction and the hangouts, I didn’t actually know Bojan, and there were a lot of malicious people around, but my gut told me it would be okay to tell him.

“Oh, that’s nice. I’m happy for you. But, I still want to ask you. Forget about Mae, Noa, and Jere. Forget about Jan.” I took a deep, shaky breath in, upon hearing Jan’s name. “Would you have ever given me a chance to get together? Would you have given us a chance?”

“I would. Honestly. It would have taken some time to think about it, definitely, because I overthink everything, but I would. But you never showed me a sign that you actually liked me, and you flirted around; you didn’t try to hang out with me, and I don’t think I had talked to you face to face until this morning.”

“I saw you with Alex and I assumed things, but I could see after that that you were avoiding me and you were looking at me weirdly like you wanted to choke me or something.” Bojan laughed, but it was a somewhat pitiful laugh.

I laughed along. “It’s just my ‘resting bitch face’. Don’t think I wanted to kill you or something. But I did try to avoid you, so I wouldn’t have to deal with all those emotions and fall on my face when nothing worked out.”

“What about Jan? Do you like him?”

I moved my body back and forth, nodding my head. “I do. Jan was surprisingly always there, even if he was too quiet to notice him. He was subtle and likable. And after yesterday, it was too sudden and intense, and I realized I like him too.”

Bojan looked down at his feet. “I see. Did you sleep with him yesterday?”

“Not that I remember, no.” I did remember making out with him, but in my mind, I had no recollection of having sex with Jan.

“Would you? If we didn’t interrupt you?”

“Yes, I would. I was in the mood. Jan seemed to be in the mood. So, we would have.”

He chuckled at himself. “Would it be weird if I said I’m glad we interrupted you?”

“Honestly? It wouldn’t. That’s how you feel. I thought I caught something in your eyes at that time, but I didn’t want to assume or say anything.”

It felt hard to breathe as if the air had gotten so thick from awkwardness, it wasn’t even gas anymore. We stayed quiet, sometimes sneakily looking at each other, but still without saying a thing.

“(Y/N)?”, Bojan broke the silence first, “Would you like to go out with me? Tonight?”

“We can’t do tonight. We have to be in London tomorrow.”

“Then tomorrow? After the pre-party? Please?” Bojan looked at me with puppy eyes, as if he wasn’t already impossible to resist.

“Okay. Tomorrow. Pick something good, okay?” I teased.

His whole demeanor instantly changed, and a bright smile lit up his face. “Okay.” He moved closer and grabbed my face between his palms, smashing his lips with mine.

This kiss wasn’t as hesitant as before; this one was confident, self-asserting, almost smug. But it felt so good and it felt like I was finally awake, having forgotten my headaches and bad mood. Bojan was an amazing kisser - that was for sure. His kisses caused a feeling of euphoria to the point you thought you were drunk and you wanted more.

I slipped my arms around the back of his neck to pull him closer, having briefly forgotten about Jan or the actual pre-party that was about to start in one hour or so. I pulled away abruptly, and Bojan whined.

“The pre-party! We have to go! Get ready!”

“Okay, okay, don’t worry. We still have time.” Bojan hugged me tightly, moving us around, all smiley and happy now.

“Yeah, but we have to get our makeup done. Come on! Let’s go!” I slipped out of his embrace and grabbed his hand, dragging him inside, without him actually resisting at all.

For a moment, I felt so carefree. For a moment, I was happy.

[puffpasstea]

Jealous Guy

One shot of Harry trying to make his ex jealous but it ends up backfiring.

Warnings: small bit of angst, swearing, alcohol consumption.

---

"What do you want me to do, Harry? Formally disinvite her from everything?" Tom leaned forward, closer to his friend's ear, attempting to have a semi-private conversation with him in the middle of the party.

"I didn't say that, did I?" Harry sipped on his drink, his eyes still on the woman across the room.

"You didn't have to say anything. The way you're trying to kill her with your eyes says a lot."

Harry finally turned to look at Tom. "Okay, then, how about this? Thanks, mate! Totally love that you've invited my ex-girlfriend to your birthday party without so much as a heads up! What a brilliant surprise! Now I feel like it's my birthday...that better?"

"Oh, C'mon, man..."

"Who's the guy anyway?" Harry gulped down the remainder of his drink, setting his empty glass down on the table, and standing up.

"Don't know. Never seen him before."

"You don't know the guests at your own party? good job, mate. Really, well done..." Harry patted his friend's shoulder, walking away to disappear into the crowd.

The next time that Tom saw him, Harry was making out with a model. Of course, standing strategically, a mere few feet away from his ex.

Tom rushed over, fantasizing about shoving his clearly drunk friend into a closet for the rest of the night to save him from any more stupid decisions. It was already too late, though. He could see that she'd looked up, her eyes stunned at the sight in front of her. Just as Harry had intended.

She got up off the couch, grabbing the hand of her date, and walking away.

Tom rolled his eyes as he watched the catastrophe unfold. No longer able to remain out of it, he grabbed Harry by the back of his shirt, pulling him off the model.

"What the fuck are you doing, H?"

"What? I'm not doing anything!" Harry adjusted his shirt. "So, what are you saying? She's allowed to bring some random person off the street with her, but I'm supposed to stay alone forever? Can't even kiss anyone else?"

"Harry- she left." Tom nodded in the direction of the couch where she'd been sitting. "No more drinking. No more dumb shit. Please..."

Harry rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand, and, ignoring his concerned friend and his kissing partner, he plodded out into the yard for some fresh air.

He inhaled deeply, his lungs filling with clean air for the first time today. Closing his eyes and exhaling, he felt his head already get clearer. It was way too stuffy inside. He began to slowly walk around the yard in a circle, trying not to think about his actions moments earlier. That's when he saw her, standing in the dark shade of a tree, crying.

He meandered over to her , in feigned aimlessness, hands in his pocket. "Don't cry..." he mumbled barely loud enough to be heard against her loud sniffling, his eyes up at the sky, avoiding her.

"C'mon, now. Please. No tears." Harry spoke again when his first attempt had failed to induce a response from her.

She wiped at her eyes and looked up at him. "Leave me alone, Harry! go back to kissing someone else." Her voice had cracked at that statement. The image of him with his hands all over someone else, his tongue down the model's throat, came rushing back.

"That's not fair! You brought someone, too!" Harry finally looked her in the eyes. Clearly outraged.

"That's my cousin, you moron!"

"Your co- fuckkkk." He squeezed his eyes shut, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Of course it's your cousin...." The information slowly flooded his memory. "Oh, you're cousin! Cuz he was supposed to come see you." Harry could suddenly recall the discussion they'd had about her family flying out to see her. He'd even promised to show them around, and let her cousin tag along to the studio sometime.

"Clearly everything about our relationship has been wiped from your memory." She spoke, still crying.

"No, no- C'mon. Don't. Don't do that..." Not his most compelling argument. The drinking had clearly gotten to him. "I- I still remember. And you're the one who dumped me, remember?"

She shook her head, frustrated. She couldn't believe he was digging up those tired comebacks yet again. How many times have they been over this?

"Doesn't make it any less difficult for me!"

Harry felt his heart split in half at the sight of fresh tears pouring down her face again.

"yes, you're right." He put his arms out, pulling her into an embrace. "You're right. I'm sorry. I'm such a dick." He rubbed her back as she sobbed into his chest.

[hippiegoth97]

Last Christmas: An Eddie Munson x Reader Holiday Story Pt. 2

Description: You and the gang play White Elephant, opening and stealing one another's gifts. You end up with a present you least expect, and share a dance with friends. When you and Eddie take a turn on the dance floor, things get a little too close for comfort. Can you and Eddie salvage your relationship, or are you too far gone?

Warnings: swearing, female reader, drug use, alcohol use, angst, heartbreak, crying, light smut mention, fluff

Last Christmas Pt. 2

A crowded room, friends with tired eyes...

Eddie's POV

You watch silently as Y/N walks towards the rear of Harrington's humble home with Robin and Argyle to have a little smoke session. Usually you'd join them, since you're quite the stoner yourself. But you can see you're far from welcome, she wants absolutely nothing to do with you. Her words earlier, no feelings at all, ring in your head over and over. "You good, Munson?" Steve asks once the trio slide the glass door shut behind them.

"Not really. But that doesn't really matter, does it?" You say bitterly, taking a swig of your eggnog. Usually you hate the stuff, but you've been steadily consuming it to keep yourself in one piece. Seeing Y/N again feels just as awful as the day she left and never came back.

"Don't say that, man. Of course it does." Jonathan pipes up, flashing you an apologetic look. You just shrug in response, unsure of what else to say. You really wish you weren't having this conversation at all. Clearly you have no chance of getting Y/N back, so what's the point of rehashing the same old shit?

"Even so, do you guys really wanna hear about my extinct love life for the millionth time? It's Christmas, there's supposed to be music and presents and all that holly jolly crap. Maybe I should go, I don't wanna bring you guys down all night." You start getting up to leave, but everyone quickly protests. You sigh, plopping back down into your chair. You know for a fact they'd sooner tie you down than let you walk out that door. There's more of them than there are of you, and Steve is ridiculously strong. "Fine! I'll stay! But can we drop it? Please? I'm hangin' on by a thread as it is." You sniffle, exhaling sharply as tears prick your tired eyes.

"Eddie, we really think you need to have a talk with Y/N." Dustin says, looking away from the claymation elves singing about making toys to speak to you seriously.

You just shake your head, the thought of that alone makes you want to off yourself. "Nah, man. She wants nothin' to do with me. And I don't blame her." Your voice trembles slightly. Goddammit, here come the waterworks.

"I wouldn't be too sure about that, dude. Robin told me Y/N still sleeps in your old t-shirt. She used to sniff it for the scent of you when she thought Robin wasn't looking. She cried for hours when it didn't smell like you anymore. And she hums your guys' song all the time without realizing it, "Beast of Burden", right?" Your eyes widen at Steve telling you this. The possibility that Y/N doesn't completely hate you blows your mind. Since the day she walked out the door, she's never contacted you again. She had Robin pick up any of her stuff still at your place, exchanging it for the things you left with her. The only thing missing was that beat-up Mötley Crüe t-shirt, you figured you'd lost it while you were drunk or something.

"Either way, I don't think she's in the mood to talk. I don't wanna hurt her again." You really don't get why everyone seems to have planned this ambush tonight. No doubt Robin and Argyle are working their mojo on Y/N to convince her to speak with you. You'd love it if she did, but you can see it now. She's letting them have an earful, telling them to mind their own fucking business. She's so damn stubborn, it's one of the million things you love about her. Loved, you mentally correct yourself.

"But you're both sitting here like goddamn ticking time bombs. Any minute, you're bound to explode. Unless you resolve this. We're not saying you'd necessarily get back together, but it would be good for both of you to work towards being able to tolerate sitting in the same room." Nancy takes her turn now, and you just roll your eyes.

"You guys really can't let this go, can you? Why do you care so much about mine and Y/N's relationship anyways?" You finish the rest of your drink, setting the empty glass on the floor. You cross your arms in frustration, waiting for this stupid talk to be over.

"No, we can't let it go. Because you and Y/N are our friends, and we love you. And we've had to sit and watch you both be in pain for months. And none of us can make that hurt go away, only you guys can do that." Mike says, hoping you understand how hard it's been for everyone to watch you and Y/N suffer.

You sigh, dragging your palms down your face. Partially in aggravation, and partially to wipe your tears away. "Fuck! Fine! But I'm not gonna force it. If she won't talk, I'm gonna let her be. Fair enough?"

The group nods in agreement, murmuring various 'yes's and 'okay's as they finally drop the subject. "I'm gonna go get the others from outside. I'd say now's as good a time as ever to start the game." Max says, standing up from her cozying up to Lucas. She walks to the door, sliding it open before shouting into the cold. "Hey, potheads! Hurry up, it's time for presents!"

Y/N POV

"Alright, who wants to pick the first gift?" Jonathan asks, taking on the task of supervising this little game. Nobody volunteers, when Robin speaks up.

"How about we have Y/N go first?" She smiles at you, trying to get you in the spirit of things. You roll your eyes, she's incorrigible sometimes.

"Uh, sure. Step on up, Y/N." Jonathan says awkwardly. You take a deep breath, standing up slowly as the weed has finally decided to kick in. You walk over to the tree, looking over the plentiful pile of presents wrapped in shiny paper. You pick up a smaller one, leaving the larger gifts for the others. You return to your seat to open it, tearing the paper to reveal a jar of soaking salts.

"Ooh! These'll make bathtime very relaxing!" You say cheerily, showing everyone what you got. You actually really like this present, long hot baths are one of your favorite ways to relieve stress. Everyone murmurs in agreement, and Robin goes next. She gets a matching hat and glove set, which looks very cozy. Next is Argyle, who opens up a box of fancy chocolates.

"Sweet! I've got major munchies, man!" Argyle says, opening the box and taking one of the sweets out of its wrapper before popping it into his mouth.

"Well, safe to say that gift is out of play now." Jonathan shakes his head, his poor friend clearly doesn't understand the rules. Nobody seems to mind though, it's just chocolate. Next to pick a present is Nancy, who decides to steal your bath salts. You stand up to open another present, which turns out to be a Magic 8 Ball. You're less enthused about this item, but you figure one of the kiddos will take it off your hands at some point.

"Okay, my turn!" Steve says while rubbing his hands together. He picks up a gift bag, pulling a pack of warm socks from under the tissue paper. "Wow, just what I wanted." He says sarcastically, wondering if his parents secretly put a gift of their own in the bunch before leaving town.

"I will happily take those off your hands, Stevie." Eddie says, holding out his hands for Steve to toss him the socks. He catches them with ease, placing them in his lap. Your eyes meet again, and he instinctively gives you a small smile. You return it out of reflex, before realizing who you're looking at. You quickly frown instead, turning away to see what Steve reveals this time. It's a D&D starter set.

"Dammit." Steve mutters, cursing his inability to pick one of the better presents. Next up is Will, taking a chance with a larger box. He tears the paper away, revealing a portable radio.

"Nice!" Will says, very pleased with this find. Jonathan and the rest of the kids take their turns, most opting to open a brand new gift as opposed to stealing someone else's. The next six gifts are a Stephen King novel, the Star Wars trilogy on VHS, a Santa Claus mug with hot cocoa mix, a sketchbook, a knitted blanket, and a Walkman. Max steals the D&D set from Steve, deciding to give the game a try since the boys love it so much. Steve gets to pick for a third time, and he ends up with a thick, cozy scarf.

"Now this I can live with." Steve says, smirking as he’s got something he actually wants. Erica is last, taking your 8 Ball for herself. She claims she'll use it to make any and all further decisions for the foreseeable future. This leaves you empty handed once again, and there's only one gift left beneath the tree. Jonathan hands it to you, and everyone watches in anticipation to see what's inside.

You tear open the paper, pulling the lid off the flimsy box beneath. And inside, is a Santa hat. With devil horns glued onto it. Just like Eddie's. Leave it to you to end up with the gift that your ex-boyfriend brought. The room goes completely silent, and you don't know what to say. Your eyes dart across the room to him again, and he tries his hardest to silently apologize. You can feel the others watching you two, waiting to see what happens next. You look away, inspecting the hat for a moment. You rub your fingers over the fuzzy material, smiling slightly at the hand-stitched letters that spell 'SATAN' on the white brim. "You can trade with me if you want, Y/N." Robin offers, extending her gift to you.

"No, it's fine! It's a cute hat, cheeky." You giggle genuinely, it really plays into the sense of humor you and Eddie used to share. You wanna be a good sport, and not hurt his feelings. You pick up the hat, settling it on top of your head with a big smile on your face. It's very warm, but comfortable. You imagine you look a little silly, but you don't mind it one bit.

"Alright then, looks like the game is over. Anyone need a refill?" Jonathan asks, and every adult's hand goes up into the air. You may have graciously accepted your present, but the tension in the room has only gotten worse. You and Eddie keep looking at each other curiously, but avert your gaze when either of you get caught staring. "Yeah, sounds about right." Jonathan sighs, gathering everyone's glasses to head into the kitchen.

"You really don't mind it?" Eddie asks as the others move on to other activities. The kiddos open Max's D&D box, showing her how to build a character and how the game works. Nancy gets up to put on some music, picking out a Rolling Stones album from Steve's extensive collection. Some Girls, to be exact.

"Not at all, Eds. You know I love shit like this." You reply, realizing you just used his nickname. Maybe you don't need that refill after all. His eyes widen when he realizes what you said, hoping this means you'll talk to him...and maybe take him back. "Don't get any ideas, Munson. I'll get back together with you when hell freezes over." You quip, not meaning it in a hurtful way whatsoever.

"Well, we are in Hawkins in the middle of winter. I'd say that's pretty close." He retorts, making you laugh. It's been so long since he's done that, and you can't help missing it. Jonathan returns with the drinks, and you decide to throw caution to the wind and keep drinking. You're feeling warm and fuzzy inside, despite the perfect storm brewing between you and Eddie. You put it aside for the time being, focusing on enjoying the night with your friends. All your friends.

For the first time in what feels like forever, the group as a whole is able to fall back into the familiar groove you used to share. There's no more worried glances, awkward silences, or talks about your past relationship. Everyone's joking, laughing, and having a great fuckin' time. You have a dance with a few members of your little band of misfits. Steve, Robin, even Dustin. You can't stop smiling, downing a steady stream of eggnog the whole way to keep yourself merry and bright.

You're having a rather uncoordinated turn with Argyle, when the record begins to play a tune you haven't heard in an eternity. "Beast of Burden", the song you and Eddie once claimed as yours. You stop moving, noticing him walking over to you. He's taking his shot, hoping this is enough. "Mind if I cut in?" You look at him, finding his impossibly large brown eyes gazing at you expectantly. He gives you a kind smile, holding out his ringed hand.

"Fuck it! I'm pretty wasted. And everyone else has had a turn. Why not?" You reply with a hiccuping giggle. You take his hand, letting him pull you into his space. He clasps your fingers together, his other hand going to the small of your back. You put yours on his shoulder, sharing an awkward look as Mick Jagger begins to sing.

I'll never be your beast of burden. My back is broad, but it's a-hurtin'. All I want is for you to make love to me. The opening lines remind you of the first time you heard this song with Eddie. It was late one night, in the fall if you recall it correctly. You'd gone on a long drive all over town, not caring about the final destination as there wasn't really one in mind. The radio played real low, and you smoked cigarette after cigarette while staring out the window at the full moon while Eddie drove. Conversation was light, the two of you in comfortable bliss. And then the opening riff spilled forth from the worn stereo speakers in his van, prompting him to turn the volume up. "Shit, this is one of my favorites." You remember him saying, smiling at you to see if you also recognized it. You hadn't heard it before, but you listened closely to the words.

I'll never be your beast of burden. I've walked for miles, my feet are hurtin'. All I want is for you to make love to me. Eddie sang along with Mick, in perfect key at that. It was far from the first time you'd heard his deep, sultry tone. He is in a metal band, after all. But nevertheless, he enchanted you time and time again. And this particular evening from the recesses of your memory was no different. You watched his lips open and close in various shapes to form the lyrics, his face dimly lit by every passing street lamp. This dashboard performance in particular felt different from the others. He was tenderly asking you for something. To love him forever, to have him as yours the same as he wanted to keep you for his own.

You gladly granted the request, your heart soaring across the universe at the thought of never letting Eddie go. When the song was reaching its end, you had ended up at the edge of Lover's Lake. The maddening man in the sky reflected upon the still, black waters. Stars twinkled overhead, it was the most beautiful night. Eddie killed the ignition, inviting you to the back of the van like he'd done so many times before. You followed him like a moth to a flame, letting him lay you down on the mismatched blankets splayed about the floor. You made the sweetest love you'd ever had, sealing your promise that you thought would never be broken.

The two of you sway to the music, slowly rotating in a cautious waltz. You do your best to loosen up, bringing yourself a bit closer. Eddie's had a considerable amount to drink too, playfully crooning the lyrics of the song to you. Just like the old days. "Am I hard enough? Am I rough enough? Am I rich enough? I'm not too blind to see." Your smile grows wider at him singing for you, you used to love it when he did this. His voice is gorgeous, and he made you feel like the most special person in the world when he'd serenade you with your favorite songs.

The others pretend not to stare as they make their own pairings to dance. You ignore their approving glances and nods. It's like everyone else disappears, leaving only you and Eddie in the room anymore. Your movements are more fluid now, facilitated by the weed and alcohol. You let Eddie lean down to softly sing the repeating 'pretty, pretty girl' part of the song in your ear. His chest is flush against yours, and it's almost as if you've never been apart. You want so badly to just smash the walls down, and let him back in. Nostalgia and longing wash over you, tempting you to take what you've been wanting since the day you walked away.

He pulls back a moment, meeting your hazy eyes. You can see loud and clear that he still loves you, and he can tell you're mirroring the sentiment back at him. You can feel his heart pounding in his chest, the pace staying in sync with yours. Your mouths are dangerously close together, and your breath fans in each other's faces. The sickly sweet scent of rum and sugar cookies wafts between you. He tries to make a move to kiss you, and you almost lean into it. But when you really look at him, you can't help remembering how you two ended in the first place.

You drop his hand and push him away, a single tear falling from your eye. "I-I can't." You choke out the words, frantically looking at everyone staring at you.

"Y/N-" Eddie takes a step forward, reaching for your arm.

"Don't!" You back up again while shaking your head, turning away to leave the room. You push past Nancy and Jonathan, and you begin to sob uncontrollably. You make a break for the stairs, your heels thumping as you bound up each step.

"Go after her, you idiot!" Steve yells to Eddie, and you try to find a place to hide. It's too much, you can't just pretend he didn't break your heart into a million pieces. You can't act like everything's okay now, because it isn't. You hear another set of shoes coming up from the ground floor, just as you run into Steve's parents' room. You slam the door and click the lock, leaning against the wood while your chest heaves.

"Y/N?" You hear Eddie's voice from the other side. Why can't he just leave you alone?

"Go away, Eddie. I can't do this." You say through your tears, pulling the Santa hat from your head. You don't want to wear it anymore. You toss it across the room, refusing to look at it again. You slide down to the floor, your knees tented in front of you. Your head falls in your hands, tears and saliva soaking through your dress.

"Y/N, please? I just wanna talk." You can hear the pain in his voice, and you fucking hate it. You hear him shuffling to sit on the other side of the door, his own stifled cries spilling out. His hand brushes the finished wood, wishing he could feel you through it. "Baby, please. I-" He begs.

"Don't call me that! You lost the right to use that name a long time ago." You shout, turning around to face the solid barrier between you.

"Okay, okay. I'm sorry. Just...I don't wanna be like this anymore." His voice trembles, he's just as shaken to the core as you are.

"I don't either, Eddie. But what else is there? You ended us, when I thought you'd never do that."

"I know. And I'm a fucking idiot." Eddie replies through clenched teeth, he's so frustrated with himself for making such a dumb decision.

"Well, at least you admit it." You can't help cracking this small joke, making both of you laugh on either side of the door. Even though you can't see each other, you know exactly how the other's face and body language looks with every passing word.

"Steve said you still sleep in my shirt. Is that true?" He asks, unable to rein in his curiosity. You gasp at the question, Robin must've said something to him.

"Yes." You say softly, not wanting to admit it. "But only because it's comfortable." You try to make up an excuse, but you already know he doesn't believe you. "Robin said you were really messed up after I left. Is that true too?" You figure you might as well get some confirmation of your own while you're trapped in here.

"Shit, yeah. I don't think I had a sober moment for at least two weeks after you left. It was awful. But I couldn't stand to keep being reminded of you at every turn." Eddie recalls how those drunken, drug-addled days played out. He woke up late, head pounding from the night before. He'd crack open another beer, and smoke a blunt or two before breakfast. All he could manage to eat during that time was Honeycomb cereal and Poptarts. Not to say those stayed in his stomach long, far from it.

By lunchtime he'd be face-first in the porcelain throne, rejecting every last bit of sugary snacks and booze. And the cycle would continue. More alcohol, toss some cocaine in the mix, another joint, or a few. Reefer Rick even threatened to cut off his supply if he didn't stop consuming all the product. He had to work twice as hard to recoup the cost of the illicit substances. And all that did was further remind him of how he lost you.

"Jesus, Eddie. I'm sorry." You can't help feeling bad when you hear the words from his own lips. A secondhand story doesn't have nearly the same impact.

"Not your fault. I did this, remember?" This is absolutely killing you, you can't stand the sullen tone in his voice. It makes you want to unlock the door, to allow him back where he clearly belongs. But that's not enough. You can't put the past behind you and give it a second try so easily. Especially when he could just as easily break your heart again, deeming himself unworthy of you. Just like last time.

"Why did you? We had a good thing, didn't we?" You really want to understand why he made that decision all those months ago. He technically gave you a reason, but was that really enough to end a relationship?

"Of course we did, Y/N. It was the best thing I've ever had in my entire life." Eddie says, complete and total regret working its way through his body. It cuts like a knife, deep and jagged. More tears spring from his eyes, tapping wetly as they land on the hardwood floor below him. His heart aches for you more than he ever thought possible. You're so close, and yet you're a million miles away. If he wanted to act selfishly, he'd smash this damn door to pieces and scoop you into his arms. But he won't, because it's not what you want. And that's the only thing that has ever mattered to him.

"Then why?" You hoarsely croak out the words. You're fighting to swallow a wedge in your throat, it's grating and bitter. Like a lump of coal scraping your esophagus. You press your hand against the door, laying your head beside it. You want to be closer to him in this silly, small way.

"Well, it's like I said before. I didn't feel like I was enough for you. You were starting college soon, and I know you're gonna be something great." Eddie smiles slightly at that thought. You have big dreams of saving the world, changing it for the better. He'd listen to you talk for hours about cleaning up the oceans or regulating big corporations that over-pollute. Seeing your eyes light up when you cared about something made him even more helplessly in love with you. "Whereas, I'm gonna be stuck flipping burgers or fixing cars my whole life. Would you really wanna spend your days with someone like that?"

"I told you before, I didn't care about that. I just wanted to be with you. What you did for a job or how much money you had was always a non-factor for me. People do those things their whole lives, and there's nothing wrong with that." You reassure him, speaking sincerely. Just because others may look down upon those who work in 'unskilled' jobs, that doesn't make them worthless.

"But how could I provide for you when I make shit pay like that? You deserve someone who can take care of you, Y/N." You really have no idea why Eddie insists on this idea that he has to be the big spender in the relationship. It's oddly old-fashioned for someone like him.

"Eddie, did I ever say I wanted you to be the 'provider' in our relationship? You know better than anyone I don't subscribe to medieval ideals like that." You don't mean to come off so harsh, but it's a bit annoying that he seems to ignore this rather fundamental thing about you. "Plus, you provided plenty. You were kind, sweet, and loving. You comforted me in my weakest moments, and we made so many meaningful memories together."

"I know, you're right. The more I say it out loud, the stupider it sounds." He chuckles dryly, shaking his head. But there's something else, something he's kept close to the chest this whole time. You can sense the hesitation in his voice, the little hitch in his breath when he forces his tongue to hold back.

"What is it, Eddie? Please, tell me." You ask quietly, wanting to know what he's been hiding.

"I was afraid you'd outgrow me. You'd slowly earn your degree, make new friends. Then you'd no doubt go wherever the planet needs you, and where would that leave me? You'd see how big and beautiful the world is, and being with me would pale in comparison. And then you'd leave, finding a foxy marine biologist instead or something. Then you'd win some kinda Nobel Prize or some shit, and I'd still be here in Hawkins. With nothing to show for it." He realizes how silly he sounds now, how he's spent so long fantasizing about you leaving him behind.

"Thought about that a lot, did you?" You ask, unable to hide the smirk in your voice. You understand his fears, you'd probably have them too if the roles were reversed.

"Every goddamn day, Y/N." He chuckles again, but he sounds far from happy about it. Your face falls, there must be a way for him to see that his anxieties held no water.

"You do realize I would've taken you with me, right? If your hypotheticals ever came to be, I mean." You speak matter-of-factly.

"Really?" Eddie still doesn't understand, does he? Just as he claims to love you to the ends of the earth and back, you feel just as strongly. If not moreso.

"Yes, you big idiot!" You exclaim, grabbing his attention. "I would've had you by my side every step of the way. We would've moved in together while I went to school. Then after graduation you'd come with me to wherever I was interning at, until I’d eventually lead the charge in some world-saving research. And then you'd be right there in the audience while I accept my 'Nobel Prize or some shit', dressed in a cute tux and everything. And then we'd go home to our house, and our pets or plants or whatever." Eddie's eyes widen at your words, he never imagined that you would actually want to spend the rest of your life with him. Him, the metalhead, freak, loser, asshole that deals drugs.

"Thought about that a lot, did you?" He parrots your previous statement at you, drawing light laughs from both of your mouths.

"Every goddamn day, Eds." Another copied comment, and another slip of his nickname. You're headed for trouble if you don't knock it off.

"Fuck, I wish more than anything I could take it back, Y/N." Eddie says, desperately wanting this conversation to end in reconciliation. He wants you, no, needs you in his life. You're like the sun in the sky, the air in his lungs, the ground beneath his feet, the blood in his veins. You are everything to him.

"So do I." You reply simply, the tears have been steadily pouring from your eyes this whole time. As is the case with Eddie, you suspect.

"Would it be so terrible to try again? I miss you so much, it's killing me." There it is. That oh, so dangerous question. You've been simultaneously dreading it and wishing for it all night. How easy it would be to accept him back into your heart, to reignite the burning flame of love you used to share.

"I miss you too, more than you know. But I don't want to get hurt again. I can't go through the hell you put me in a second time." You sniffle, unable to stop yourself from remembering the endless sob-fest you had at Robin's for the first few days after your breakup.

"I promise, I will never let you go again. I'll never be so fucking stupid." He pleads, yanking at your heartstrings.

"But how do I know for sure, Eddie? I was under the impression that the first time would never come, and it did. Who's to say you won't break us to pieces again when things get tough?" As much as you'd love to be together again, you have valid reservations about the prospect.

He doesn't say anything else for a minute, carefully considering what you've said. He feels so fucking awful for hurting you, and he wants to prove himself worthy of a second chance. "What if we move in together?" He blurts out, as it's the first step in your little fantasy about the future.

You scoff, he can't be serious. "Eddie, you don't have to jump the gun like that."

"I'm serious. I wanna be with you, commit to a life with you. What better way to do that than to get a place together? We could look after New Year's if you want. I think there's a place by-" His tone is frantic now, eager to sell you on the idea.

"Eddie, slow down!" You shout, interrupting his babbling. He shuts his trap, his teeth clacking at the force. "Look, it's really sweet of you to offer. But I think we would need time to get reacquainted first, to see if this would even work again." He perks up at your words, hoping this means you're saying yes to him.

"I'm sorry, you're right. But, does that mean we can give this another shot?" He asks expectantly, crossing his fingers and praying to whatever God is up there that you'll take him back.

You sigh, shaking your head as you giggle at the thought. "I can't believe I'm actually saying this. But yes, we can try again, Eds." You say as you stand up, clicking the lock to open the door. Eddie falls forward into the room, almost smacking his head on the floor. You shriek in surprise, and he bounces back up in no time. He scrambles to his feet, his eyes meeting yours for the first time in what feels like hours. He laughs awkwardly, blushing hard as he rubs the back of his neck. You giggle in reply, rolling your eyes at his clumsiness.

You move closer to him, wrapping your arms around his neck while his go around your waist. You're standing in the threshold of the room, looking up to see some mistletoe hanging right above your heads. "Well, would ya look at that? Seems like the Harringtons have the right idea." Eddie says, returning his gaze to yours. The air between you is different now. It's no longer somber and heartbroken, but filled with unbridled joy and a dash of booze-fueled lust.

"That they do." You reply, just barely above a whisper. You can't stop staring at each other's lips, the familiar scent of Christmas treats dizzying your heads in your proximity. Eddie's just about to bring his lips to yours, when-

To be continued...

[lollaika]

Chapter 5 of The Agony is here!

Chapter 5, the aftermath of season 3, featuring hurt Steve and in over his head Eddie. Also, like always very lovely artwork by @cuips-not-cute, it's nsfw, so be warned. (It's very good, though, so go and check it out.

TW: Rape, Non-Con, Alcoholism

Excerpt under the read-more!

“He’s dead.” It’s said without inflection, like the flatline of a heart-monitor, like the mirror-flat of a calm sea above a deadly current dragging you down into lightlessness. Eddie doesn’t have to ask who he is, briefly wonders how Harrington managed that, poison in the alcohol? A knife through the chest? But then he focuses on more important matters.

“Do you need help hiding the body? Because I will, but I doubt that I’d be much help.”

And now Harrington startles, eyes focusing on him for the first time.

“What? No, no, I didn’t kill him. The–um, the mall burned down? While a bunch of people were in it? And Hargrove–he–he–fuck, he saved a girl from falling debris, took it to the chest, died there on the spot.”

If Dio wasn’t playing, there would be silence. Eddie lets the words play over and over in his head. He still can’t make sense of them, it just doesn’t form a picture in his head, not one that includes all the details Harrington just offered and that usually isn’t a problem for Eddie but–the mall burned down? The fucking mall where Eddie had been just two days ago checking out the music store and staying far away from Scoops Ahoy? That mall? That mall burned down to the point where there had been debris? Fucking debris falling onto little girls? And Hargrove was supposed to—No, no, the picture wouldn’t come together, dissolving into static every time he tried. Maybe he’d heard wrong. Maybe Harrington had said something, anything, but what Eddie had heard.

“What? No, seriously, what?” He couldn’t keep the incredulity out of his voice, because that couldn’t be right. No way, no fucking way.

Harrington starts to chuckle, almost breaks into actual laughing, and then he’s crying again. Silently, softly crying. The music dies and Eddie can hear the cassette keep on turning and he should take it out, should make sure it doesn’t get damaged, but he’s rooted to the spot. He cannot turn his eyes away from Harrington, from the tear tracks streaked on his face that he doesn’t even attempt to hide.

“Yeah,” he says, and it sounds relieved deep, deep inside, behind walls of hurt. “Yeah, he’s dead, and people will remember him for, for saving a girl, and it’s not fair, it’s not fucking fair that he gets to have that, that he gets to be a hero to, to these people who didn’t even know him, who didn’t even like him, but, but at least he’s dead, you know. At least, at the very fucking least he’s dead and I don’t have to fucking deal with him.”

Eddie stares at Harrington, so many questions filling him, wanting to be asked, wanting to escape his lips, and he asks none of them. He doesn’t ask how Harrington got those injuries, if they were still inflicted by Hargrove. He doesn’t ask about the other people at the mall, that apparently is no longer, doesn’t ask who else has died. Most importantly, he doesn’t ask how Harrington knows all this, if he had been there himself and, if so, why he had been there this late. There are so many possible answers to those questions, and he doesn’t want any of them. Instead, he gestures to the first aid kit again.

“Please,” and now he’s the one pleading. “Please allow me to patch you up?”

Harrington waves him off. “No need already had first aid. I’m fine, it’ll heal in time. And I’m sorry for disturbing you at night, I just wanted to—well, I wanted you to hear it from me, firsthand, I guess. And now you know and um, yeah, now you know.” Harrington shrugs, the tears have stopped. He’s clearly still unbalanced; he clearly still needs somebody to help him come down. It’s just also very obvious that Eddie won’t be that person, that Harrington will not allow him to do that.

“Will you allow me to drive you home, at least?”

He gets waved off again. “No need, no need. I got here fine enough, I can drive myself home.”

And as fast as he had appeared, he disappears again, out of the trailer door, down the steps and into his car. Eddie watches him drive off, stands there in the night's cool air and watches the frozen pack thaw inside the wrapping, small drops rolling down, pooling at the edge of the still unopened first aid kit.

[ghoulfriendfangs]

Febuwhump ‘23 - “Fever Dream for You”

Day Eleven and Twelve: “Fever” and “Can You Hear Me?” with Lucio (the Arcana)

I decided to combine Day Eleven and Day to help me catch up! I tried to write a fever from Lucio’s perspective, so the wording will be a bit experimental ٩(｡•́‿•̀｡)۶

{WC: ~600} {Implied Lucio x reader, Lucio plague moments, I enjoy it when he is wet and pathetic, shaking Lucio vigorously}

@febuwhump

  Somewhere in his swirling mind, Lucio is aware that he’s gotten drastically worse. Sure, he’s been sick for a long, long time, but… He knows he wasn’t always this way. This way… this…

  He likes when the couriers come. Sometimes they say mean things to him.

  But, he thinks, with a smirk, it does not matter because I won’t remember.

  “What are you smirking about?” Asks Vulgora. Or Valdemar? It would make more sense if it was Valdemar, but its deep like Vulgora. Huh- the couriers all sound really close…

  He shivers. His chamber is so cold. He should ask for another blank-

  He isn’t some baby. He doesn’t need more blankets, and it would be humiliating to ask for another blanket. He isn’t a baby. He’s the count. And the count should get anything he asks for, right? Yes- yes he should get another blanket.

  “E-excusssee me,” Lucio hiccups. Anonother blank…et?”

  For the devil’s sake, his voice isn’t supposed to be like that. His voice is loud and strong and silky, like good alcohol. Not some pathetic old man, whose voice wobbles and wibbles like he’s on a sled going down a mountain. Gods- he feels like he is. He feels like he’s going down the river.

  “Buh… lanket. Now.” What the fuck is taking them so long!? Lucio bolts upright.

  …the room is empty. Did the couriers leave? Or did he imagine them- a fever dream. Lucio starts to giggle, then laugh. Why would he imagine the couriers? If he was going to hallucinate someon there- he wouldn’t waste his time on them. He’d imagine… you. He hadn’t seen you in so long- it would be nice if you were here.

  Lucio lies back in bed, and pretends moving his bedsore spotted back doesn’t hurt as much as it does. Gods, it’s hot in here. It’s hot. He starts to shimmy down the blanket- watched. He is being watched by red eyes and a beak. Predator. There’s a beast in his chamber, Montag get your knife something broke in. Kill it, kill it before it kills you. But he’s scrambling away from it, he can’t fight, he is going to die-

  “Can you hear me?” The beast asks. The beast talks soothingly. “Can you hear me?” 

  It’s a doctor- the ones from the dungeon. Their ghastly masks. Lucio nearly faints in relief. Not just not a beast. A person. A friend. Yes, yes someone to help him. He doesn’t even flinch as the gloves inspect his arms, he thinks he feels a needle in his arm. That’s ok, as long as you aren’t a monster.

  “Can you hear me?” The doctor asks, it’s voice is so familiar. He nods, but he doesn’t speak. He can’t, his brain is occupied. Whose voice is that?

  “Can you hear me?”

  “Yes, yes I… I…”

  “Can you hear me?”

  “I can, I can- is… is that you?”

  “Can you hear me?”

  “I missed you, I miss you so much. You’re always nice to me and nobody else is. Please, please stay here. Just until my fever passes?”

  “Can you hear me?”

  “Why do you keep asking me that? I clearly can. Sorry- I can hear you. Yes, sit- sit in the armchair.”

  “Can you hear me?”

  “Yes!” Lucio yelps, sitting suddenly upright, “I can hear, I can hear you! Please, stay!”

  He’s covered in what feels like an inch of sweat. Lucio looks around his room. The gray darkness isn’t even broken by so much as a candle. A little dust lays on almost every surface.

  …were you here?

  Lucio’s heart twists, he puts his claw to his head to try to cool down the fierce burning. He feels a shiver in his chest.

  Is it better if you were here and he missed you, too feverish to reply? Or does he prefer the idea that you were never here- so he missed out on nothing. Lucio can’t decide.

  But he has nothing but time to kill while he thinks about it.