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#what to do when ur best friend tells you to your face you're not good enough ?? that you haven't been good enough for a long while ??
popquizhot-shot · 3 days
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Sunshine: Geto Suguru x reader
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a/n:my first jjk fic! this is all over the place i’m so sorry! weird time skips, this fic spans months btw, angst, non sorcerer!reader, probably ooc geto, scratch that INCREDIBLY ooc geto, but he’s my boy idc
The first time he sees you, he’s at a fast food joint. Satoru is going ham on a burger like the pig he is, mayonnaise smeared on the tip of his nose as he all but inhales his food.
The expression on his face as he gawks concerned at his friend is one to be framed.
It’s also what makes you, who is seated on the table opposite, snort out a laugh. one that makes him look at you. you and the smile you’re trying to hide.
The first thing he notices about you are your mischievous eyes. lovely ones that are creased in silent laughter. then your crinkled nose. and the your downturned lips.
His own quirk as his head tilts a little to look at you more intently. pretty, his mind supplies as you tuck strands of messy hair behind your ears as you munch the last of your fries.
Gojo tracks his gaze and grins.
“Hehe, Suguru.” he teases, “she’s pretty.”
isnt she just. Suguru thinks, but out loud he says, “shut up, satoru." with a roll of his eyes. They soften as he looks at you again only to widen when he sees that you're already looking at him.
You look away instantly, hiding your face from him.
Pretty, he thinks again, and he can’t stop thinking about you for a while.
————————
The second time he encounters you is a surprise. He fully expected to never see you again, but here you are, smiling up at him as you hand him a piece of paper and walk away to where your friend giggles and takes your hand and leads you to a store.
Away from him. Careful fingers unfold the piece of paper:
:) you’re cute.
His cheeks feel warm as he scratches the back of his neck with a small smile. Suddenly he’s pushed forward as the weight of another crashes into him from behind.
Satoru grins at the note in Sugurus hand, “She leave her number or what?”
Suguru looks down at the note again, and right next to your sweet words are hastily scrabbled digits. He grins with yet another blush, “Mhmm.”
Satoru laughs at the expression on his best friends face, “Shoko’s going to rag you.”
He looks away with a roll of his eyes.
—————————-
His first conversation/date with you is hilarious. Over a cup of steaming tea, he convinces you that the school he attends is a retreat for where children are to learn the harsh realities of life. A sort of military school.
He supposes he’s not really wrong about that.
When you ask him what crime hes committed for his family to send him to a place like this, he laughs. Says that the only crime he’s ever committed is that a year ago, he contemplated bleaching his hair so that he could try and dye it.
You gasp, a sweet hushed, “No!” escapes your pouty lips, “Your beautiful hair!”
He chuckles, lying down in his bed and staring at the ceiling, replaying your words over and over again.
Maybe next time he’ll tell you how pretty he thinks you are. Maybe next time he’ll buy you that chocolate stuffed bun you were making eyes at.
He drifts off to sleep with a smile on his face. His hair splayed out over his pillow.
—————
‘hope ur doing good :3’
Instant messaging is such a blessing, he thinks as he types his reply to you:
‘i’d be better if u were here :)’
Gosh he’s being such a sap. He can already imagine you look away from your phone with a smile as you cover your face and roll your eyes..
He’s had only two physical dates with you so far, but he uses his free time to talk to you and you only, acknowledging Satoru’s antics and Shoko’s quips with a quirk of his lips and a nod of his head.
Satoru flicks his forehead sharply, drawing him out of his mushy headspace that’s full of flowers and scented candles and thoughts of you. He mumbles a curse at his best friend, who only teasingly whistles, making Shoko laugh at how flushed Suguru currently is.
“When’re you gonna introduce us, Suguru?” Satoru questions with a wiggle of his eyebrows.
“You idiots will scare her off if i introduce her to you this quick. We just started dating.” he mumbles, shutting his phone.
Satoru eyes him and glances at Shoko with a grin.
"Whatever you're thinking," Suguru glares, "Stop it."
------
The flashing lights of the arcade only make you look more lovely, he thinks as you smile at him after he takes your hand.
The others are somewhere on the other side of the complex and he'd snuck away to meet you, eyes crinkling when he saw you win a round of space crusaders for a little kid who grinned and hugged your legs.
"You're staring." you hum, as you lead him through the arcade.
He scoffs, "You're delusional."
"You're so getting ragged!"
The both of you turn around to see Gojo Satoru, with the biggest grin on his face, his hand on his hip and his phone positioned to take a photo.
Suguru groans, "Ugh. Ignore him, he's annoying." he tries to walk away.
"Hi!" you wave with a smile, "I'm guessing you like burgers?"
Gojo laughs, his hand coming to rest on Suguru's shoulder, “Hey, yourself. I like burgers just as much as Suguru over here fancies you!”
Suguru elbows the boy and you snicker, introducing yourself to the white-haired boy who winks at you and gives you his name.
Is the rest history?
Not quite.
————————-
He worries about you sometimes. When he sees you so selflessly help someone, or when you give up your seat for another when they wouldn’t do the same for you. He doesn’t mind that you’re going to have to sit on his lap for a bit, but he worries. Because you’re so good. So kind. The type of selfless that will only lead to you getting hurt.
Shoko’s surprisingly become close to you. It’s absurd, how you’re from a world so different and yet you gel so well with them. How even Satoru, someone who held disdain for the weak, warms up to you.
It might have been the sweets you’d bought him from your hometown, but that’s another story.
Sometimes he wakes up in the middle of the night and thinks it’s all a dream. That you can’t possibly be real, but then his eyes catch the poster you’d bought him and he smiles.
He thinks you’re too good for this world. For him.
—-
Markets are crowded. It’s a fact. A fact he’s known since he was a child and came to help his mother. He’s used to the shuffling. But today for some reason, he can’t seem to bear the noise. The shouting, the yelling, the shoving. Akin to the clapping that’s been playing over and over in his mind.
His hand holds yours, and you’re guiding him through the crowd. You don’t say much, you haven’t said much since he’d met you today. He’s been exceptionally reserved, for lack of a better term. It’d been an asswipe of a mission, the curse leaving a disgusting aftertaste in his mouth that stayed even after he scrubbed his tongue, swashed mouthwash and chewed gum. The memories of a young girl and a man with a gun and his dying best friend all too fresh in his head.
You’re not a person who pushes. Who demands that he tell you exactly what’s going on with him. But you know when he down. He feels guilty when he doesn’t talk much because he knows it makes you feel like you’ve done something wrong.
So he takes your hand in his and asks you to guide him through the market because he’s tired and can’t think.
Second to Satoru, he’s the strongest. But he can be just him, with you. He can rely on you to power through a fuckass crowd, he can hold onto you like you’re the anchor in the storm.
And when someone shoves into you, almost separating the two of you without so much as an apology, he stands still, stunned at the uncharacteristic anger on your face.
“Oi!” you shout at the stranger who turns back, an eyebrow raised, “Watch where you’re going, you dropped your shit!”
Suguru’s prepared to step in if things escalate, if you throw the bag of fruit at the mans face. But you just walk up to him, your mouth still in a frown.
Shoving the bag into the man’s hand, you say, “Don’t bump into people like that.”
The man stutters an apology, lowering his head before stumbling away through the crowd.
“Asshole.” you mutter before turning back around and smiling at him.
He’s never wanted to kiss you more.
——-
He leaves one night, after holding you close to him on a park bench and breathing your scent in.
You hold his hand tight, a bracelet he’d given you snug on your wrist.
The park is dark, the moonlight illuminates your face as you look up at him. Your other hand cups his cheek and for the last time, Suguru kisses you. He kisses you and kisses you. His eyebrows are furrowed and his hands are in your hair. He kisses you till he can’t breathe.
,“You’re too kind for this world. Too good.” he whispers, “Why are you the way that you are?” he nudges your cheek, his eyes closed as he nuzzles you.
“Most people suck.” you say, “They give people bad experiences and ruin their days. I’m not too kind, Suguru.” your fingers trace his features, “I just try not to ruin their day.”
“The bar is low.” he murmurs, “Would you like it if the people who sucked didn’t exist?”
You snort, “I guess. But that would also mean my parents wouldn’t exist. Or some of my teachers, or sometimes even me.” you look into his eyes, “No one good is ever truly good, Sugu. And no one bad is ever truly bad.”
He breathes in when you say that, his eyes softening when he sees you smile, “You enamour me, you know that?” he murmurs.
When he hugs you goodbye, he whispers in your ear, “I love you.”
You hold it close to your heart. It’s the last thing he ever says to you.
———
“Geto-sama! Wake up! It’s late!” Nanako’s shrill cries pull him out of his slumber.
He doesn’t jolt awake or sit up straight, his eyes open slowly, sunlight kisses his skin, akin to your warmth. He clenches his jaw, where the whispers of your peppered kisses will always stay.
His back groans as he sits up, hes aging. A reminder that his life is not what it used to be. And you are not next to him.
He scoffs, it doesn’t matter where you are, whether you’re alive or dead. He cracks his knuckles before patting Nanako’s head with a smile and padding to the bathroom.
Geto Suguru lost all affection for inferior beings, monkeys. He sees them as weeds to be plucked out of the earth, trampled on and burnt. And that is what he will do.
He will ensure that every non sorcerer is exterminated, and he will revel in their suffering. He will lead his followers and curses to a glorious battle to create a better world. He will make merry with his family and smile at his daughters actions.
But when it is quiet, and he is alone with only him and his thoughts. Geto Suguru will remember his life before.
His life with his best friends. His life with you. And he will close his eyes and sleep again, his dreams filled with you and Satoru and Shoko. Of memories of cake and singing and birthdays and your hands in his.
He will remember. That is all he can do.
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hey-hermy · 1 year
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zreamy · 6 months
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i'll love you forever
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pairing: park sunghoon x fem!reader
summary: you were sunghoon's first everything; first friend, first love, and first heartbreak. after years of quietly crushing on you, he was finally ready to confess. so ready to confess, that he told his parents the two of you were already dating! it was an easy enough lie to keep up and he kept it up for months, what could possibly go wrong? he thought. little did he know, you would have a falling out and stop talking for months.. and then, you'd both get invited to spend a week at home with his parents, who still believe you're his girlfriend.
genre: smut, fluff, angst, college au, childhood best friends to lovers, fake dating
warnings: minors dni, fake dating is pretty mild (sorry), she kinda doesn’t rate him at the start, these two kind of exist in a vacuum a little bit idk i had a self-enforced word count to stick to and broke it.. (im within the 10% allowance !), sunghoon in a vest, sunghoon arms, sunghoon
word count: 21,858
playlist: click here.. (for my non-spotify babes, the main song is light by wave to earth (which for some reason i put last.. whatever))
author's note: for silly @asahicore. happy birthday pooks i hope it's amazing and that u enjoy reading this when u have the time !!! LOL (lots of love) also im never writing without telling you things again this was so absurd.
to everyone else.. ok happy reading also emma did not beta read this so im sure it's missing its charm .. anyway it's for emma not you 😭 anyway i hope u enjoy regardless and lmk ur thoughts! omg this is the first fic im nervous about posting.......... please enjoy or else.
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In the three years since Park Sunghoon moved away for university, he’d been doing a pretty good job of going home to see his parents. They’d welcome their baby back to the nest with open arms and wide grins. With a rehearsed level of indifference, his younger sister, Yeji, would say, “Oh, I didn’t know you were coming home this weekend.” when she saw him at the dinner table. Sunghoon pretended to only be marginally hurt by this. 
In the last three months, he hasn’t so much as sent a text to his parents. 
Or to you. 
Ignoring texts from his mother is devastating. Between classes, he watches as, “Hi, sweetie, I love you 😍,” turns into, “Missing you, honey, know you must be busy but spare some time for your old mummy, no?” which turns into, “Getting really worried now, are you doing okay? Has something happened with YN? Talk to me, I love you, my baby boy!” 
Ignoring texts from you is easy because texts from you never come. 
Sitting at the end of his bed, Sunghoon rereads a text his mother sent a few minutes ago: Please talk to me, son. Really worried and YN isn’t answering calls either. What’s going on with you two?
When he leaves his room, he finds Jake lying on the couch, and with his keys in hand, Sunghoon says, “I’m going home.” 
And the drive is great! At least, he tells his mum it is. In truth, the drive home without you was nearly impossible. Your ever-expanding home time playlist buzzed through the speakers in his car, but without you there to screech along to the songs, it wasn’t the same. He felt your absence the most when he stopped to get petrol and you weren’t there behind him struggling to carry enough snacks to feed a small family without offering to pay. 
The look of worry on his mum’s face stirs a pit in his stomach. “Why are you so quiet these days? God, you look so tired,” she says, frowning. “Is it school? Or something with YN? It’s not like her not to text back.” Her brows crease as she whispers the word unless. She pulls him into a hug, her chin resting perfectly on his shoulder, and her comforting hand strokes the hair on the back of his head. “Breakups are never easy, honey. I’m so sorry, I know how much you love her.” 
Breakups are never easy. The sentence hangs heavy over his head. 
Whether she knows it or not, she’s handed him a get-out-of-jail-free card, the opportunity to set things straight, to end this mess once and for all. No further questions, and most importantly, no more lies. 
For the first time since he left your flat three months ago, Sunghoon lets himself cry. He’d imagined this moment countless times, his first cry since you ended things. In his mind, it was always intense. Today, as it happens, only a few salty tears leak from his eyes, spilling onto the cuff of his sleeve, darkening the blue cotton in tiny indigo splotches. 
“We didn’t break up,” he says in a small voice—for some reason. “I’m just having a hard time.” Neither statement is technically untrue, but the words taste rotten in his mouth.
The tightening grip of his mum’s arms around his body is what brings on the harsh, shoulder-racking sobs he’d been anticipating. For a while, they stand like this, Sunghoon weeping into his mum’s cardigan until she sends him upstairs to lie down, promising a cup of tea that never comes. 
His childhood bedroom is chilly, so he changes into clothes he left behind and climbs into bed, pulling his duvet up to his chin. He turns his head to look at the walls and the room around him, everything is exactly where he left it in the summer. It should be comforting, but it’s weird to be home without you. 
There are photos of you and him everywhere, growing up and around each other through different stages of life. The two of you together during the summer your family moved in next door, you wore glasses back then and were the first friend he’d made in his life. Sunbathing and sharing earphones at the beach, listening to music together on your iPod classic. Sunghoon in thick glasses with a stiff smile and your arm around him on the first day of high school. Wide grins at the start of this summer, the last time things were okay between you. 
Overwhelmed, he stares up at the ceiling, only realising he’s crying when a hot tear slips from his eyes to tickle his ear. Because Sunghoon likes to upset himself, he screws his eyes shut and thinks about the night before you stopped talking. 
Though he didn’t know it at the time, you’d left Yeonjun’s place to sit with him in a tiny restaurant on campus, the one you’d only visit to toast to each other’s heartbreaks. It had become a ritual — ever since your first year boyfriend dumped you after two weeks — to cry as much as you wanted and drink as much soju as your bodies could handle before stumbling back to your apartments. 
Having spent years suffering from an unrequited crush on his best friend, Sunghoon was always the one to comfort you. But that night was different; you were there to comfort him. It was easy enough to play the part of ‘boy whose crush likes someone else’ because he spent your entire friendship in that role. He’d had no problem accepting his fate, but his composure started to slip when you met Yeonjun. It was the first time you’d dated someone who Sunghoon had reason to be jealous of. In every way, Yeonjun was better than him—taller, funnier, hotter. Sunghoon knew he didn’t stand a chance. He took it personally, you liking Yeonjun instead of him, and let his jealousy consume him from the inside out. 
This jealousy led him to start telling you about Minjeong—lying to you about Minjeong, and his feelings for her. She was a girl from a college out of town that he saw on his Instagram Explore page. He followed her by accident, and by some stroke of luck, she followed back. Sunghoon didn’t really have feelings for her — he didn’t even know her — but she was a girl that you didn’t know, so you wouldn’t be able to meddle. 
It only took a few weeks for Sunghoon to become so upset about your relationship that he couldn’t hide his emotions anymore. So, in a fit of tears, he told you over the phone that things ended badly with Minjeong, and he was in urgent need of a soju ceremony. 
But the night was missing its usual comforts.
It was strange to be the one crying, to see you looking put together and ordering the food. To see you pouring the drinks and raising your glass to propose a toast to ‘Hoonie’s first heartbreak’. You were driving that night, so you only had a tiny sip of soju and let him drink as much as he needed, the way he always did for you, at the same table, in the same restaurant for years. 
Hours later, in your car, you entertained his drunken rambles, though he remembers how your lips were set into a frown that he wanted to kiss away while you gripped the steering wheel like you thought it would run from you. Sunghoon was more drunk than he’d been in a while, drunk enough to let you sling his arm over your shoulders and keep him upright until you reached his flat. 
The voices coming from Yeji’s room disrupt the memory. He’s thankful.
“Your brother’s going through something, so be nice to him this weekend.” His mother’s voice is her version of hushed—a loud whisper. 
Yeji’s response is harder to make out, but he doesn’t miss the way their mum says, “I mean it, missy.” 
A dramatic sigh rumbles through Yeji as she barges into his room without knocking. Sunghoon sits up, feeling an ache in his back and crossing his legs. 
“Mum told me to lay off you today, which is fine, but before I do, I need to tell you something.” 
Yeji pushes the door shut behind her, and the open window makes it slam, both of them flinching from the sudden noise. She pulls her hair out of a silk scrunchie and throws herself on the floor. A pang of irritation forms in his chest, knowing that he could immediately find the empty hanger in his wardrobe where the shirt she’s wearing used to live. 
“I hate you and your perfect golden boy image, Hoon. Would it kill you to fail a class for once? I don’t know how I’m supposed to carry on your legacy.” She’s looking up at him, her chin in her hands and irritation written in the crease between her thick brows. 
It’s impossible to know if it’s because of Yeji’s complete lack of boundaries or the fact that her ‘perfect, golden boy’ big brother is on track to fail three out of three classes and get cut from the hockey team, but Sunghoon immediately bursts into tears. 
“Oh, uh.. I’m sorry?” Yeji offers. “I was kidding if that helps.” 
“I’m alright, it’s okay.” The tears don’t stop stinging his eyes. “Why do you want me to change everything about myself?” 
With a frown, Yeji pours out her frustration and mild resentment. She doesn’t understand how Sunghoon effortlessly conquers every aspect of life while she struggles. Neither do their parents, who had been baffled by her plummeting grades since she moved to boarding school, especially when Sunghoon’s academic performance has only soared since he left for university. The weight of this perceived injustice pulls Sunghoon’s shoulders down with guilt as she talks about the expectations he has inadvertently set for her. 
“But other than that, I’m good.” She shrugs, sitting with her legs out, and leaning back on her palms. “How’s YN?” she asks. It’s clear from the brightness in her voice that she thinks she’s helping. 
Sunghoon cries again. 
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Back on campus, he’s trying to scrape together what’s left of his academic career with the help of two of the smartest guys he knows, and their friend Jay. Though the word ‘friend’ feels a little strong at the moment given the way Jay’s goading him. 
Sunghoon rolls his eyes, sitting back in his seat. “There’s nothing you can do that I can’t,” he says, meaning every word. 
Jay scoffs, shrugging and raising his brow in a way that, over the years, Sunghoon knows to interpret as his ‘about to say something ridiculous’ look. “Pretty sure I could call YN right now, and she’d answer.” 
There’s a pit in Sunghoon’s stomach as Heeseung turns his head in the other direction like he’s been slapped, trembling with stifled laughter. At least Jake doesn’t hide his amusement, throwing his head back in a fit of giggles that draw nasty looks from the other students in the library. Sunghoon doesn’t waste his energy trying to argue because Jay’s right.
Now composed, Heeseung turns back to the table, flipping through some of Sunghoon’s course materials to find whatever his class was doing in class that week. The English Literature class he’s taking — The Modernist Movement: Joyce, Woolf, and Hemingway — is the same class he had to send a million emails over the summer to get enrolled in, but it’s the same one Heeseung aced two years ago. Lucky for him none of the boys seem to be in the mood to make fun of him for trying so hard to have a class in common with you, and then practically failing out of it before the term had started properly.
“This class is, like, beyond easy, dude.” Heeseung pauses to sniffle and twist the stud in his ear. “Everyone in my class aced it. How are you doing so badly already?” 
“I only took it because YN thought it’d be fun if we had a class together, but.. I kind of haven’t been going since we stopped talking.” Sunghoon shrugs, pretending to be unaffected. 
As if the mere mention of your name has some sort of summoning power, like saying Biggie Smalls in the mirror three times, you appear in his eye line, rounding the corner with a furious stride. Your demeanour crumbles when Jay waves at you, and you grin, waving back, but as soon as you look Sunghoon in the eye again, the rage comes back, and you smack a hand on the table when you reach it, leaning over to him. 
“Sunghoon, a word?” you ask.
He thinks you’re asking, but it’s hard to tell with the way you set your jaw afterwards, and the way the warmth of your signature vanilla scent hits him hard. Dazed, Sunghoon lifts a hand, pointing at himself. “Me?” 
“Does anyone else at the table answer to Sunghoon?” 
“Okay,” he says, somewhat pathetically, nudging Jay for laughing at him. 
As slowly as possible, Sunghoon pushes his chair from the table and stands up, following you to the corner of the references section where only anthropology students in scratchy thrift store knits, and Jay, come to check out encyclopaedias by volume. You look good, save for the rage written all over your face—which, honestly, Sunghoon thinks he likes.
Sunghoon isn’t sure what to expect, so he says, “Hey.” He’s being cautious, waiting a moment to gauge your reaction. “What’s gooooood?” His cheeks burn as soon as he closes his mouth around the vowel, but you laugh. You laugh, and it’s beautiful and happy, and you’re laughing because of him—or at him, but he’s glad either way. 
Annoyance quickly clears all traces of amusement on your face. “Were you ever going to tell me we’re spending next week at Mum and Dad’s?” you ask. 
Sunghoon gasps dramatically, clicking his fingers. “I knew there was something I’ve been meaning to do.” 
His attempt at lightening the mood falls flat, and you only nudge his shoulder gently, sighing. “Can you be serious? For once in your life, even for a second, can you please think about how the things you say affect me?” You’re frowning, crossing your arms over your chest and looking at your feet. “It’s not fair, Sunghoon. For you to keep saying things—making plans involving me and then acting like I’m the bad guy when I turn you down.” 
“I don’t think you’re the bad guy at all,” Sunghoon admits. “If anyone is in the wrong, it’s me, I guess.”
You scoff, looking at him like you hate him. “You guess? Are you serious?” You look furious, but you sound hurt and Sunghoon hates it. Hates himself. “I can’t have this conversation with you right now. Tell mum I’m sick, and it’s contagious.” You roll your eyes and walk away, leaving Sunghoon alone with his thoughts and judgemental stares from students in crochet scarves so long they graze the floor. 
He sighs, slumping against the wall. How does he keep getting it wrong with you? 
Back at the table, Sunghoon manages to act like he’s not falling apart and makes some serious headway on his missing assignments with Heeseung’s help before they call it a day as the sun starts to set. 
When he gets home, he lies down on his bedroom floor, spending hours poring over the conversation you had. Over the minute changes in your facial expression, the tone of your voice, and the endless list of things he should have done, rather than watch you walk away. 
The moment feels familiar, both identical to and worlds apart from what happened after you left three months ago. When he managed to scrape the last shreds of his dignity from the kitchen table, he dragged his feet to his room and lay down like he is now, face to the rug. That day, he left his door open and lay so still that Jake thought he was dead. Sunghoon remembers wishing he had been. 
For once in your life, even for a second, can you please think about how the things you say affect me? The words run on a loop in his mind, over and over, until he can’t remember the order of the sentence or where you put emphasis. They’re cutting all the same. 
Sunghoon sighs into the itchy fibres of his black rug before rolling onto his back. In the diminishing purple light of the setting sun. he looks at the walls of his room. At the Fleetwood Mac poster, he stole from Jay when they moved out of their first year dorm, that curls away from the wall towards the ceiling—a diagonal strip of shiny tape being the only indication of the otherwise invisible tear through the face of Stevie Nicks. 
He’s glad when his phone rings, cutting through the quiet, though the sight of your name and the anatomical heart emoji next to it only dampens his spirit. Reluctantly, Sunghoon answers the phone, holding it to his ear. 
“I just got off the phone with Dad..” You trail off. Tangible silence follows, so thick it weighs on his chest. “I’ll go home with you.” 
“You will?” 
“Yes. Goodbye.” 
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Sunghoon reaches your flat at five in the evening. You don’t smile when you open the door for him, nor do you invite him in. Instead, you dump your bag at your feet and he cringes, looking from the floor to you. You’re aggressively beautiful and cosy-looking as you pull a jacket over the sweater you wore that night. Sunghoon’s heart aches in his chest and he wonders if you even realise. Suddenly, the memory of the last thing you said the morning after hits him like a truck: Then let’s not be friends at all. 
A familiar weight lands on his shoulder—your hand. Concern lines your eyes as you ask if he’s okay. 
With a lump in his throat, Sunghoon nods. 
In the discomfort of his car, the two of you sit in silence while he starts the drive home. 
“How’s Yeonjun,” he asks, eyes flicking towards you but regretting it immediately when he sees how you clench your jaw. 
“No,” you say simply, shaking your head. “You don’t get to ask me about him.” 
These are the only words you exchange until Sunghoon stops for petrol. He has enough fuel for the rest of the journey, but he feels like dying and thinks the fresh air might quell his thoughts of running his car off the road. Like always, the two of you get out and head into the kiosk, where he follows you wordlessly through the aisles, watching you debate on snack choices before settling on the same things you always get. Sunghoon pays for your snacks and you roll your eyes but don’t protest, mumbling thanks as you take them into your arms, leading the way back outside.
He knows he needs to tell you before you reach the house, but he’s not entirely sure how to say it—so he just does. “My, uh.. my parents think we’re dating.”
You stop so suddenly in front of him that he almost bumps into you. Stepping around you, Sunghoon keeps walking. 
Over the top of his car, he watches your face cycle through all five stages of grief until anger comes back around in the loop as you scoff. “Why do they think that?” Your face is devoid of expression now, the blankness over your features dragging a sharp chill over his spine. 
He stares blankly at you, processing. “Because I told them we’re dating,” he mumbles. 
“Why did you.. do that?” You tilt your head, eyes pressing shut in a long blink. “What are you even talking about? Why did you.. What?” 
A thin layer of sweat coats his palms despite the cold. Why did he do that? “We can stage a breakup during the trip or say we broke up right now,” Sunghoon offers. “Just one night, YN, please.” 
The wind whistles by, ruffling your hair and jacket that you hug tightly to your chest. Behind you, Sunghoon takes note of the group of girls standing by the pumps, all five of them jerking their heads abruptly when they notice him watching, suddenly finding interest in the scattered litter and flickering halogen bulbs in the steel canopy over their heads. 
You’re staring when he looks back at you, nostrils twitching with a sniffle before you sigh. “Or we could say that you’re a liar and end things there,” you say. “Or better yet, you go down there on your own and tell them the truth.”
Sunghoon’s gaze drops, his thoughts racing in his mind. He knows you’re right. At some point, his parents will have to find out, and it’d be better for them to find out now. Sunghoon sighs, nodding. “Alright,” he concedes. “I’ll take you back.”
An angry laugh comes out of you as you shake your head. “No need, I’ll walk.” 
The station you’re at is neatly nestled in the middle of nowhere, on a road so narrow he’s not even sure it has a pavement. You’re halfway through the three-hour drive, so there’s no telling how long the walk would be, never mind the fact that the sun is already setting and it’s deep enough into October for the wind to sting. 
“From here?” he asks, incredulous. 
“Yes, open the boot so I can get my bag.” 
Sunghoon can only bring himself to say your name, a desperate whisper. 
“Open the boot.”
He repeats your name as if it’ll make a difference, he’s pleading with you, begging—though he doesn’t know for what. 
You go to the back of his car where Sunghoon joins you, a pit in his stomach when you step away. With misty eyes, you look up at him and his heart breaks. “Please.”
Sunghoon knows you well enough to know that you’re not actually going to attempt the walk home but also knows that you won’t back down if he keeps challenging you. He nods, opening the boot for you and getting into the driver’s seat—your move. 
You stand there, unmoving, and long enough passes that he thinks you’ll actually leave. The boot closes softly and you join him in the passenger seat. You sigh, buckling your seatbelt. “Let’s just get this over with.” 
For the rest of the journey, you sit in silence as Sunghoon briefs you on the relationship, fighting a smile as he thinks about being your boyfriend—even if only for a night. You scoff when he ‘reminds’ you that you’ve been together for four months now and the only reason you haven’t been able to come home recently is that your schedules don’t match up very well anymore—which couldn’t be further from the truth as, before term started, you went out to celebrate the fact that your class schedules couldn’t be more suited for seeing each other. 
Finally, at Sunghoon’s childhood home, the two of you smile and laugh for his parents before going to bed. Your relationship has only made his mother more averse to the idea of you sharing a room under her roof than she had been when you were younger. He’s relieved about this, and in the solitude of his bedroom, he lies on the duvet of his twin bed, staring up at the ceiling and thinking about the last few hours. 
With his parents, you’d sat up in the living room watching TV. They sat on the couch together, his mum nestled in his dad’s side, while you two sat on the couch opposite, mirroring their position. If your complete stiffness was anything to go by, you were less than comfortable with his arm around you and Sunghoon felt terrible for begging you to go along with this. It was after midnight when you all went upstairs and you let him kiss your forehead before all but slamming the door to the guest room in his face. His heart twirled and his mum beamed at him before saying goodnight again. 
Now, at 3 a.m. he can’t sleep. Flinching at the knock on his door, he furrows his brows and goes to open it. It’s you. Standing there with your hair scraped away from your face in one of his t-shirts. Your eyes are red, brimmed with tears as you step into his room and sit on his bed. 
He closes the door softly, heart aching at the sight of you so upset, and when he sits next to you, his heart tears apart because you move over, putting a distance between you. It falls out of his chest onto the floor when he realises you’re not wearing your necklace. 
Sunghoon suspected you might have stopped wearing it, it only made sense that if you didn’t want him, you wouldn’t want the necklace he bought for you either, but at least earlier, your sweatshirt sat so high he couldn’t see if you had it on or not. 
It was a gift for your sixteenth birthday, after your first heartbreak. He was so upset and angry that you let some loser hurt you that way, upset and angry that someone could be loved by you and fuck it up. Sunghoon was inspired by Jay, who’d gotten a pretty necklace for his girlfriend, and talked about her cute reaction for weeks, how happy she was to have a piece of him with her all the time. It was a locket, with a picture of Jay in one side and a picture of her in the other so the pictures would kiss when she wore it. 
While at the jewellers with Jake, Sunghoon thought something like that might be a bit much for the two of you and eventually picked out an equally pretty piece with his first initial on it. He wrote a corny note to put in the box, something about how ‘boys come and go but Sunghoon is forever’ and gave it to you with trembling hands a few nights later—it was the first time he ever made you cry. Immediately, he thought he’d done something wrong and was ready to snatch the box and run back to the jewellers (even though he trashed the receipt). You hugged him and told him you loved him. Sunghoon’s been riding that high ever since. 
Until tonight at least. 
“Are you okay?” he whispers. 
“I’ll do it, Hoon.” Your eyes lift from the floor to meet his gaze. “For as long as you need me to, I’ll pretend.”
As soon as the words leave your mouth, Sunghoon feels lighter, an unbearable weight slipping from his shoulders. You haven’t called him ‘Hoon’ in ages, and he can’t tell if you’ve said it out of vulnerability, or even noticed that you’ve said it at all, but it warms his heart nonetheless. However, he’s not fully at ease, still curious about your sudden change of heart and why you’re crying. 
“What happened?”
You pull him into a hug, and his eyes bulge out of his head. “It doesn’t matter,” you say, the words muffled by the skin at the base of his neck. 
For as long as he’s known you, you’ve smelled like vanilla, a sweet warmth that grounds him. Yet it’s only after these months apart that he’s able to put a name to the sensation: home. The realisation of how much he’s missed this feeling, missed you, floods him with a rush of emotion so overwhelming he can’t find the words to press the issue. A moment passes before he remembers to hug you back, his arms finally wrapping around you, pulling you close, and you sink into his hold. Months ago, he would have kissed the top of your head and mumbled reassurance into your hair, but tonight, Sunghoon settles for stroking the back of your head and hopes it’s enough. 
“You can talk to me, you know? You can always talk to me.”
A heavy silence follows, sharp as a dagger—scraping his skin, making the hair on the back of his neck stand on edge and lodging itself between his shoulder blades. Sunghoon’s breath hitches in his throat when you cling onto him even tighter, shifting so close you’ve had to settle in his lap. His heart races in his chest, pounding a rhythm so loud it fills the room. 
Finally, you speak, assuring him that you know and that you’re okay. At this, Sunghoon holds you as tight as he can, and neither of you speaks for the rest of the night. You fall asleep like this, in his arms, so deeply that you don’t even stir when he lies down. 
Rubbing your back, he watches the clock on his nightstand, the piercing green LED digits cycling through two whole hours right before his stinging eyes until you wake up. Sunghoon presses his eyes shut, pretending to be asleep when you kiss his cheek and leave his room. 
For the entire morning, you stay in your room, and although Sunghoon is concerned, he decides not to bother you. In the afternoon, he sits at the dining table with his mum, listening as she talks about work. When she asks him, he gets up to make a cup of tea for her. It’s at that moment when you finally come downstairs, looking so effortlessly pretty. Your hair is still damp from the shower, and you’re bundled up in one of his old sweatshirts. There’s a bright grin on your face that leaves his heart thudding. 
“Baby!” you squeal when you see him, charging towards him and wrapping your arms around him from behind. “Good morning.” Your words are muffled against the back of his t-shirt, and the four-letter word, and the sugar coating it, make his cheeks burn. 
“It’s great to see you too, YN,” his mum says with a smile. “My night was amazing; I slept very well and had no dreams.” 
You let go of Sunghoon and walk over to the table, kissing his mum on the cheek and wishing her a good morning as well. “Sorry, mum, how are you?” 
His mother doesn’t seem to have the heart to correct you either, allowing your 3 p.m. ‘good morning’ to go unnoticed. 
Sunghoon carefully fills both mugs to the brim and, with extra caution, carries them to the table. He places a steaming cup of peppermint tea in front of his mum and a milky coffee in front of you. A warm smile spreads across your face as you mouth a ‘thank you’, and his knees turn to jelly. 
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The next day, after eating an early dinner with his parents at the table, the four of you go out on a walk along the bike path you used to take for school. His parents have gone ahead, not intentionally, but because Sunghoon can’t stop you from dragging your feet. 
As with most things in the town where you grew up, nothing about the trail has changed. The leaves are yellowing in standard form for the season, and crunching under his feet with each step he takes. The only foreign experience is the silence that you’re determined to uphold. Everything Sunghoon says to you is met with either a hum, a nod, or no acknowledgement at all. At this point, he feels like he could drop dead at your side and the most you’d do is step over his body like a fallen branch. 
After letting you go ahead, the weathered slats of the wooden footbridge sag in the middle under his tread. It’s been like this for as long as he can remember and he wonders how nothing has been done about it. The stream rushes under it, loud and unruly, the smell of wet grass both comforting and suffocating as you look over the railing. It’s like something from a postcard, the low-hanging branches sweeping back and forth under the breeze, the grass lush and green around the path, murky water thrashing against the mud and rocks underneath with you in the middle of the frame, peering over the edge.
You keep walking when Sunghoon approaches, leaving him alone on the creaky bridge with nothing but the ache in his chest. He looks up, staring at the grey clouds in the sky through the gaps in the leaves, and sighs. 
Eventually, he catches up with you, grabbing your hand and locking his fingers with yours when his parents slow down. You stiffen, looking up at him with cut eyes and a creased brow. “What are you doing?”
Sunghoon matches your clipped tone. “Holding my girlfriend’s hand.” 
“No one’s looking, boyfriend.”
“You think my parents aren’t going to wonder why we’re lagging behind?” 
A scoff—your fingers remain defiantly stiff. “Do you think your parents are going to care whether or not we’re holding hands?” 
“My mum might after the show you put on yesterday afternoon, baby.” Bitterness covers the word like a blanket, a stark departure from how you said it. 
A long sigh rumbles its way out of you before you fix your lips into a strained grin. “Sorry, sweetheart, this is my first time pretending to be in love.” 
As your words hang in the air, Sunghoon’s emotions brew like a storm within him. Frustration gnaws at his patience. All hopes for a smooth week are dashed, though determination simmers in his chest with a strong resolve to make this work, to fix your relationship. It doesn’t stop the sharp pang of hurt piercing his stomach—he knows you don’t feel the same way, he knows you’re faking, but the word ‘pretending’ hits him like a truck anyway. 
“We held hands all the time when we were friends,” he points out.
Your smile drops immediately, hurt flashing behind your eyes. “Yeah, and now we’re not.” 
If there was a competition for who could hurt Sunghoon’s feelings the most, you’d be a shoo-in for first place. With distinction. 
“Exactly!” he says, feeling the sting of his own words. “Because now we’re dating.”
At the sight of his mum turning around, you switch up in an instant. Lock your fingers with his, wrapping an arm around his bicep, leaning into him, giggling. It’s forced but his parents are far enough away that all that matters is the curve of your lips.
“You two okay back there?” she asks. 
“Perfect! I feel like a kid again!” you call back, beaming up at Sunghoon in a way that makes his stomach flutter even though it doesn’t meet your eyes. 
The two of you don’t talk at all when you get home, with you hugging his parents goodnight and running up the stairs. 
“She’s not feeling too well,” he explains, nodding when his dad tells him to make you some tea. 
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His parents spend the whole day at work, and you spend the whole day following him around like a shadow until the evening when they return. He doesn’t pretend not to like it.
Sunghoon helps you make dinner, turning leftover rice into fried rice with the help of some eggs and vegetables. It’s nice moving around the kitchen with you, watching you scramble eggs in his t-shirt and bump his hip with a playful frown when he eats some of the peppers you’re chopping. 
His parents watch from the table, cooing over the two of you and he does his best to fight the blush forming on his cheeks and neck. Embarrassed, he hugs you from behind, hiding his face in your neck—the scent of your coconut conditioner mixing with your vanilla perfume doesn’t do anything to stop the flush. 
Over a bottle of wine, the four of you eat together at the table, swapping stories about your days. Sunghoon tries to hide his surprise as you lie about the time you spent at the play park by your primary school, competing for height on the swings and spinning on the roundabout until you couldn’t stand up. You grin at him, and it meets your eyes as you hold his hand under the table, and kiss his cheek.
After eating, his parents head upstairs, leaving to clean up together. You hum a song he’s never heard as you load the dishwasher, carefully placing the plates and cutlery in the rack, shaking your head when he hands you the glasses you’d used. 
“Leave ours,” you say. “If you want.” 
Sunghoon nods, putting them back on the table, where you sit in the seat across from the one he was sitting in. He sits too, staying quiet rather than saying the wrong thing. You don’t speak either. It’s reminiscent of the past—the hours you’d spend in the same room, only speaking to share a funny post you’d come across or to ask if you were hungry. 
His eyes track your movements—reaching for the half-empty bottle on the table to pour yourself another glass, filling it to the brim. Before putting it down, you offer him some, filling his glass too when he nods. The three glasses of wine he’s already had must be the reason he wants to reach across the table and hold your hand, run his thumb over the soft skin on the back of it. 
Sunghoon doesn’t know why you’ve been so nice to him all day or why it makes his chest hurt. 
“You know you don’t have to be nice to me when we’re alone, right?” The words come out before he can stop them.
Over the top of your glass, your brows knit together. A sound of confusion, a low hum, comes from your throat as you try to finish your sip. “What?” you ask finally. 
“I only asked you to do this because of my parents, you know? You don’t have to sit or talk with me when they’re not around.” 
Sunghoon’s known you long enough to recognise the look that flashes across your face. The way your eyes narrow and your brows tug together, the little pout that sets on your lips before you speak; you’re hurt.
“Why can’t I just be nice to you because it’s the right thing to do?” 
Because it hurts, is what he wants to say. He wants to cry, to beg you to forget everything he said that day. “Because I don’t want to make you any more uncomfortable than I already have.” Is what he settles for. 
Your face softens. “I don’t feel uncomfortable around you, Hoon. We were best friends for ages, I don’t think you could ever make me uncomfortable.” You pause to take a gulp of wine. “Why can’t I just want to be nice to you?” 
Sunghoon has to chew on his cheek to distract himself from how much your word choice stings. The implications of were and all of your past tense. “I’m sorry,” he says. 
“What for?” 
“Everything.” 
There’s a sadness in the way you run your fingers on the base of your glass. The way you chew on your lip, how your hair falls when you tilt your head and how it moves when you shake it. “It’s not your fault,” you say. “I don’t know anyone who would choose to have unrequited feelings for their best friend.” 
Wow, he thinks. You’re on a roll. Sunghoon wonders if you’re meticulously choosing your phrasing to upset him. Wonders why you feel the need to remind him that his feelings aren’t reciprocated as if he didn’t live through and spend hours reliving the day he confessed. 
“But I didn’t have to tell you about it. It was unfair of me to spring that on you when I knew about Yeonjun.” 
“Did you.. did you think I was going to leave him for you?” 
“Maybe?” Sunghoon chews on his lip—he has no idea what he thought would happen. “I think I thought I loved you enough for both of us, that you might play the part for fun or out of curiosity, and.. I don’t know, just learn to love me.”
“Hoon,” you whisper, frowning. “How could you even think about settling for something like that?” 
Sunghoon shrugs. “It’s not settling if it’s you.” 
Silence takes a seat at the table after he speaks, interrupted only by the ticking clock on the wall—a glittery mess of scrapbooking paper and washi tape layered over each other that Yeji had decorated at summer camp years ago. You’re picking at your fingernails, letting flecks of black polish fall to the table, stark against the varnished oak. 
“I know it’s not my place to ask,” Sunghoon starts after a while, hesitant and only continuing when you nod. “But what did Yeonjun say when you told him? About.. everything?” 
You take a long sip from your glass and sit quietly for so long that he thinks you’re not going to answer him—he doesn’t blame you. 
“I didn’t.” 
He waits for you to elaborate. You don’t. 
Sunghoon nods slowly, deciding not to ask any follow-up questions. Instead, he takes another drink, scrunching his nose at the bitter taste. “He didn’t ask why we stopped hanging out?” he blurts out.
“I told him we fell out but I didn’t say why.” You shrug, but your posture is stiff. 
“Where did you tell him you were going to be this week?” He knows it’s not his business at all, that he’s pushing your boundaries, but he can’t help his curiosity.
“Nowhere.” 
“You told him you were staying on campus?” 
“I didn’t tell him anything.” Your gaze shifts, avoiding his as you toy with the stem of your glass. You drum your nails against it, letting the dull clink ring out. 
“So you just left?” 
“Does it make a difference to you?” 
Sunghoon nods.
For a while, you tug at the drawstrings on your hoodie, pursing your lips to the side, considering this. “Yeonjun and I aren’t together anymore.” Your admission is so shocking that Sunghoon’s jaw drops. He tries to cover his surprise by coughing, his tongue sticking out like a small child. “I didn’t want to say anything because I didn’t want you to think it was because of you.” 
Sunghoon’s thoughts move at lightspeed, too fast for him to catch onto any of them and process this information. His emotions compete with each other—disbelief, guilt, and a painful glimmer of hope he hadn’t dared to acknowledge until now all at the forefront. 
“Was it?” he asks. “Because of me?” 
You scoff—an incredulous sound that doesn’t match the sad look on your face. “I don’t know, Sunghoon. Do you think my boyfriend used me to make his ex jealous because of you?”
He’s not sure what he expected you to say, but this is.. Complete disbelief eclipses him as his heart sinks in his chest, shock, and guilt bubbling in his stomach. 
“I’m sorry,” he says after too long. “That I wasn’t there. That I haven’t been there.” 
“You didn’t know,” you say, gaze softening as you look up at him. 
“But I made you feel like you couldn’t talk to me about it.” 
You shake your head. “I made me feel like I couldn’t talk to you about it. All you did was change the friendship, I’m the one who ended it.”
“I still should’ve been there.” 
“You’re here now, right?” 
Sunghoon nods, earnestly. “Always.” 
Only one thing comes to mind when you repeat the word ‘always’ before taking a sip from your glass, downing its contents. Sunghoon gets up and crosses the room with wobbly steps to open the fridge, where he pulls out as many bottles of soju as he can hold in his hands and puts them down on the table. He goes back to collect some glasses from the cabinet, puts some of the leftover fried rice from dinner into the microwave, and brings it all over when it’s done, with bowls and utensils. You watch him with a fond smile as he opens a bottle and he hopes you think the flush on his cheeks is from all the drinking you’ve been doing. 
“Is it bad that I’ve missed doing this?” You’re grinning now.
Sunghoon shakes his head, raising his glass. “To YN’s fifteenth heartbreak.” 
You grin, clinking the rim of your glass against his. “To YN’s fifteenth heartbreak,” you repeat. 
Both of you down the glasses, and Sunghoon refills them, pouring the soju with an oddly steady hand. As you eat spoonfuls of rice and sip your drinks, silence settles over the room. The soft glow of the kitchen lights forms a warm ambience, a cosy familiarity that brings up simple memories—doing homework together at the table while gossiping about your classmates, the first New Year after you were both eighteen and had your first drink with his parents. 
For at least an hour, the only sounds are the occasional clinks of forks against bowls, glasses hitting the table, the faint hum of the refrigerator and the steady tick of Yeji’s clock. Sunghoon’s eyes meet yours, and he can’t help but notice the slight change in your expression when they do. 
You clear your throat, running a hand through your hair. “This is my sixteenth, actually.” 
“What?” 
You take a small sip of soju, staring down at the table. “My fifteenth heartbreak was losing you. Yeonjun is my sixteenth.”
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In the two days since your soju ceremony, Sunghoon finds himself sinking into the role of your boyfriend like a hot bath. But there’s no use pretending it doesn’t hurt. Pretending it doesn’t hurt when you kiss his cheek before bed, or when you reach out to push the hair out of his face or snuggle into his side on the couch; because it does hurt—a lot. It hurts to think that in three days when you put your bags in the boot of his car, you’ll sit in silence all the way home. When he drops you off at your flat, you’ll close the door in his face and stop talking to him again. These realisations are harder to confront when he’s alone in his room, like now. 
About an hour ago, you asked if you could borrow his car, saying there was something you needed to do on your own. It seemed important, so he handed over his keys with no question. Sighing, Sunghoon gets up from his bed and heads to the shower, where he jerks off to clear his mind. On his way back to his room, he notices the light leaking from the open kitchen door that illuminates the landing. 
He hears the lock on the front door clicking, and stands at the top of the stairs, dripping water onto the carpet while listening attentively. His ears perk up when he hears a gasp—his mother. 
“What’s this for?” she asks. 
“I just..” You trail off. “I know it’s not much, but I wanted to thank you both for always looking after me.” You pause, and Sunghoon holds his breath, waiting. Your voice trembles as you continue. “It’s been hard since my parents went back home, and I guess it was still hard when they were here, but you both supported me. I don’t think I could’ve managed without you guys. I want to make you guys proud, you know? And I’m trying, really, so this is me saying thank you. I’m sorry it took me so long.” 
He grips the railing by the landing, digging his nails into the wood until they start hurting—an ache in his fingertips that makes him wince. 
An odd feeling settles in his stomach, a bittersweetness tinged in his fondness for you, and the gentle shock of realising how much his parents have done for you. Growing up, you became an honorary member of Sunghoon’s family. His parents showered you with gifts during holidays and birthdays, which you often celebrated with them rather than your own family. 
The memory of your parents’ sudden decision to move across the country still lingers, and Sunghoon vividly recalls the tearful conversation he overheard at the top of the stairs. Your parents understood the enormity of their request but had earnestly asked if Sunghoon’s parents could continue looking after you. 
His chest tightens when you start crying. 
“You don’t have to thank us for anything, sweetie. Just you being here and taking care of our boy is more than enough thanks. You never forget our birthdays, and you always come and visit when you can. You’re doing a great job, and you should give yourself some credit,” his dad says, a little choked up. “We’ve always been proud of you.” 
Sunghoon’s eyes sting with tears and his skin gets dry in the spots where the water from the shower is evaporating. He presses his fingers to his closed eyes, forcing a few tears to fall and walks the rest of the way to his room with his eyes shut. He can’t hear anything through his closed bedroom door, which he decides is a good thing as he coats himself in moisturiser and swipes deodorant under his arms with intention to spend the whole night alone. Once he’s dressed, he gets into bed and pretends not to be bothered by the way his wet hair dampens his pillow. Under the duvet, he tosses and turns before sighing and heading to Yeji’s room.
In her absence, the room’s subtle transformation is stark. The sage green-painted walls, once a backdrop to the A3 faces of Wave to Earth and Beabadoobee, now bear the faint imprints of those missing posters. Tiny, shadowy rectangles are the only remnants of the 6x4-sized pictures of her and her friends, of her and Sunghoon, that she took away with her to school.
Her hairdryer is still on her desk where she’d left it for him to use and he sits in her stiff wooden chair, plugging it in. The airflow starts immediately, hot and loud, humming throughout the space as he runs his fingers through his wet hair, feeling cosy under the heat. His shampoo is fresh and soapy scented under his nose, and his reflection watches him in Yeji’s mirror, eyes red and concerned while his hair blows around his head. Sunghoon closes his eyes and finishes his hair, sighing as he lets his worries slip under the whir of the fan. 
Finished, he shuts off the dryer and opens his eyes, flinching at your reflection in the doorway behind him with a soft smile on your face. “Mum and Dad are going to open a bottle of wine if you want to join,” you say, meeting his eyes in the mirror. 
Sunghoon can’t find it in himself to speak, only nodding in response. You smile wider but don’t move. He unplugs the hairdryer and leaves it on the desk where he found it before crossing the room. Without giving himself a chance to think about it, he pulls you into a hug and kisses the top of your head, smiling into your hair when you wrap your arms around his waist, holding him closer. 
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You’re sitting on the edge of the bathtub, mumbling sleepily that you’re never going to drink again, and Sunghoon leans over the sink brushing his teeth, he’s glad you have the decency to cover your mouth as you speak. 
“Brush your teeth and go back to sleep then,” he mumbles around his toothbrush. 
You don’t respond. 
Sunghoon sighs through his nose, spitting foamy toothpaste into the sink, leaving bubbly, blue splatters on the porcelain. “And quit staring at me, I can feel your beady little eyes on the back of my neck and it’s freaking me out.” 
“But you’re so pretty,” you coo. 
There’s a flutter in his stomach and he rinses off the sink and his mouth, buying himself some time. With a hand on the Listerine, he lifts his gaze to meet yours in the mirror and stops short. You’re still staring at him, features soft and glowing under the afternoon light. You look like an angel; a gentle smile spreading over your lips, and a sleepy glint sparkling in your eyes, wide and gorgeous as you watch him. Sunghoon gulps, mumbling his thanks and looking back at himself. He hopes you can’t see the flush on his cheeks. 
“Go back to sleep,” he says. 
“Will you come and lie down with me if I do?” Your voice is a sleepy drawl, coming out in a slow, high-pitched slur, and your eyes are closing on themselves. 
Lying down doesn’t sound like a terrible idea, especially not if it’s with you, so he nods. “If you brush your teeth, then yeah, baby, I’ll lie down with you.” 
You chuckle softly at Sunghoon’s agreement, the sound carrying a mix of exhaustion and genuine amusement, showing no repulsion to him calling you the B-word. He didn’t mean to, it’s been a confusing few days. You nod, saluting to him and getting up to join him by the sink, using your hip to bump him out of the way, but he feels like he’s glued to the spot. 
“Move, baby,” you mumble sleepily, reaching for your toothbrush. “We can cuddle in my bed,” you suggest, to which Sunghoon only nods, taking your words as a cue to unstick his feet from the floor and go to your room, playing the word ‘baby’ on a loop in his head. 
He stands in the doorway staring at your bed, the duvet is all crumpled in the middle, and the pillows are in an L shape at the top corner. He sighs, he can’t go on like this, can’t stand around hoping even a tiny part of you called him ‘baby’ and it meant something for you as it did for him. It’s not fair for him to project his feelings on you like this, but he can’t help it. You’re already pretending for his parents, so would it be so bad to pretend for his sake as well? Even if only until the day after tomorrow when you leave? 
The sound of the bathroom door shutting behind you snaps him out of his thoughts, your bright smile making his heart race when you tug him by the sleeve to your bed where the mattress dips underneath you as you curl into his form, resting your head on his chest and falling asleep. You’ve shared the bed before, countless times, but he knows you’ve only asked him because you’re tired. Because your brain is foggy with drowsiness that clouds your judgement, not because you want him there, not because you miss him when he’s two doors down the hall, tossing and turning at night thinking about you. He wonders absently if you can feel his aching heart beating through his chest, a painful, yet all too familiar rhythm that pulls his own eyes shut, plunging him into a deep sleep too.
It’s dark in the room when he wakes up, the sun already down behind the curtains and the soft yellow of the bedside lamp casting a glow around the space. You’re staring up at him, smiling and you don’t look away when he catches you. “What is it?” he asks, voice thick with sleep. 
“Nothing,” you mumble. “I just missed you.” Sunghoon has no time to respond or even register what you said before you clear your throat, speaking again.  “Come on, dad’s cooking tonight, he’ll need help.” 
Helping Sunghoon’s dad with dinner always looks an awful lot like Sunghoon eating snacks on the kitchen counter and staring at you as you help his dad cook. Tonight is no exception, he’s sitting on the island, and his snack of choice is a family pack of Chilli Heatwave Doritos his mum bought for Yeji. He’ll have to remember to replace them before leaving seeing as he’s reaching the halfway point. 
You go back and forth with his dad about measurements, with you rummaging through the drawers for measuring cups while his dad says it’s best to trust your gut. Reluctantly, you nod, chewing the inside of your cheek as you watch him eyeball the seasoning. 
The gas stove turns the kitchen into an oven, and you complain about it while opening a window, pulling your hoodie over your head and leaving it in Sunghoon’s lap. Time stops when you grin at him, the light from the stove hood illuminating the necklace you’re wearing, his initial resting on your chest and glowing under the light. He chokes around a crisp when he sees it, catching your attention with his coughing. 
“You’ll spoil your dinner, snacking like that, baby,” you scold, using a hand to push his knee. “We’re almost done, I swear.” 
All he can do is nod, cheeks burning as he folds the crisp packet over before putting it back in the bread bin where he found it. 
“Wow,” his dad says, resting his hands on his hips and shaking his head in amusement. “Being in love looks good on him, he’d never have listened if I said that.” 
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It’s already your last day when Sunghoon picks up Yeji from school. She grumbles for the entire half-hour drive and all the way to the front door about why the two of you couldn’t have started the trip today instead of ending it, but all of her irritation dissolves when she sees you in the hallway, leaving the front door wide open to fling her arms around you. You and Yeji exchange compliments for a while — You look so pretty. No, you look so pretty. I love your hair. I love your hair. — as Sunghoon locks the door and watches with a smile.
“God.” Yeji sighs, holding you by the waist and craning her neck up to look at you, as you push some of her hair from her face, pinning back her wispy bangs with the palm of your hand. Yeji giggles. “I’m so happy you two are together, even though I have no idea what a girl like you sees in my loser brother.” 
Sunghoon rolls his eyes, leaning back against the wall. Despite his mild irritation at Yeji’s words, he finds the sight of you with her so adorable his stomach flutters. Over the top of Yeji’s head, you look at him with a fond smile. “He’s not so bad.” 
It doesn’t sound like a compliment, but Sunghoon takes it to heart. 
Like always, Yeji manages to capture your undivided attention and the two of you giggle and whisper with each other all afternoon while Sunghoon watches, too enamoured by the sight to care about being left out. An hour or so passes like this, until his parents get home from work, excited to see Yeji after a few weeks, and you leave her side, coming to cuddle with Sunghoon instead. 
It’s nice being home with everyone, laughing and sharing a meal before his family walks the two of you to his car with at least a month’s worth of cooked food for you to share at university. Yeji makes you pinky promise that she can visit you and waves with a pout on her face until the car is out of view.
Contrary to what he’d been expecting, the drive back is nice. Your playlist is on, and you’re telling him about all the new songs you added, catching him up on things with Chaewon and Yunjin, and all the things you got up to in the time you spent apart. You tell him about a new café that opened up near your place and how you’ll have to go together when he has the time, and Sunghoon bites his tongue before telling you that he always has time for you. The first half of the trip goes on like this but you start dozing off around the halfway mark, your sentences becoming few and far between, eventually turning into half-mumbled thoughts that end prematurely. 
You’re still asleep when he reaches your flat, head propped up against the window with your soft lips parted, looking too pretty and cosy to wake up. Instead, he drives in circles around your block, deciding to wait for you to wake up on your own. It only takes a half-hour but you blink your eyes open, stretching your neck before looking around and out the car window, recognising the street. You don’t say anything, only smiling when you look at him, a small curve of your lips that makes his heart race.
He gets out of the car with you, opening the boot to get your bag before pulling you into his chest for a hug, liking the way your arms settle around his waist. “Thank you,” he mumbles into your hair. 
Sunghoon doesn’t follow you when you take your bag from him, only watching from the back of his car. You don’t notice until you reach the main door, looking over your shoulder and frowning at him. “Aren’t you going to walk me up?” 
The two of you walk in silence up four flights of stairs as the lift in your building is out of order. Your bag feels much heavier in his hand now than it did outside. At your door, he watches you dig around for your keys, sighing with relief when you find them. 
“Do you want to come in?” you ask from your open doorway.
“I—uh—I have training in the morning and I’m already pretty tired, so..” He trails off.
Unfazed, you nod. “Right, of course. I had fun this week.” 
“Yeah, me too.” 
You smile at him, sweet and sincere. “Text me when you get home, yeah?” 
Sunghoon nods, saying goodbye. Out of habit, he doesn’t leave your doorstep until he hears the lock click shut, and walks back to his car with his head down. 
True to his word, he sends you a text to let you know he got back to his place safely and you read it immediately but don’t reply. It’s empty in the apartment, Jake is out with his football team and the space is larger than usual in his absence. Far too tired to even consider going out and joining him, Sunghoon goes through his night routine, putting his phone on the charger and stepping into the shower where he spends entirely too long wishing he could live in this week forever as he scrubs his body. With brushed teeth and damp hair, he goes back into his room where his phone lights up with a notification; a text, from you.
YN🫀: i’m glad you got home okay, i just got into bed :) i don’t want to make you uncomfortable or overstep or anything and you can say no (obviously).. i’ve been missing you so much and didn’t know how to reach out or if you wanted me to but i had soooo much fun this week and spending time with you again made me happy, so i’d like it if we could keep hanging out, like before yk? ik it’s a long shot ahahaha but just say you’ll think about it? 
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hoonie: You’re not overstepping at all, I’ve missed you too, so bad. I had soooo much fun this week as well and I’d like it a lot if we kept hanging out, thank you for agreeing and coming along 😚 If you’re free after Lit tmrw you could come over? Or we could go out and do something, whatever you prefer
hoonie: I missed you so much.. 
hoonie: 🤍
The texts greet you as the first rays of Monday morning light filter into your room, instantly lifting your mood. Your bright smile doesn’t escape Chaewon’s notice as you find her in the kitchen, bathed in the soft light seeping through the sheer curtains. The kettle is boiling with a loud rumble that fills the whole room and leaves her yelling as she speaks to you. 
“Good trip?” she asks, coming over and hugging you. “Never leave me for that long again,” she mumbles into your shirt. 
“It was a week, Wonie,” you say, rolling your eyes even though you missed her too. 
She leans away, looking at you with knitted brows. “It was nine days.” 
“The longest of my life.” 
Chaewon pulls air through her teeth, tilting her head and releasing you. “That bad, huh?” she asks, walking back to her seat at your tiny square table and shooting you a look that tells you to join her. 
During your trip, you gave her nightly updates over text, so you know she knows how much you enjoyed yourself, but you elaborate anyway, sitting across from her. 
“No, not at all,” you say, shaking your head and trying to fight a smile. “I had fun.” As soon as the words leave your mouth, you have to bite your bottom lip to stop the grin curving them; it doesn’t work. 
Chaewon raises a suggestive brow, crossing her arms over her chest. “How much fun?” 
“You’re disgusting.” 
“I didn’t even say anything!” she defends, holding her hands up. “I made an implication. It was only a matter of time, you two have that whole.. lifelong best friends to lifelong lovers thing going on, and it’s hot.” 
“Shut up.” 
“You’re telling me, you spent nine days playing lovers with Sunghoon and you still don’t want him? You’re a lost cause, people would kill for that chance,” she says, tilting her head. “I think I would kill for that chance.” 
“Don’t touch him.”
“Oh?” 
“Jesus, Chaewon, it’s not like that. Hoon’s too sensitive for your roster.” 
“I never said it was like anything, you’re the one who’s dangling me over the ledge for saying I want to fuck your hot best friend.” 
“Sunghoon isn’t hot; he’s..” You find yourself at a loss for words, unsure how to continue your lie. Of course, Sunghoon is hot, you’ve known since you were seventeen and spent the summer at your grandparents’ house, only to come back to find your previously scrawny best friend having ditched his LEGOs for dumbbells. You sigh. “Just leave him alone.”
Chaewon grins, eyes sparkling as she leaves the table. “Okay,” she says in a singsong voice, leaving you and the irritation in your stomach alone in the kitchen.
You sigh, pressing your eyes shut and trying to will away your discomfort. It’s not like Chaewon would actually try anything with Sunghoon. Right? Even if she did, it wouldn’t bother you, nor would it be any of your business. They’re grownups and reserve the right to explore their options. Still, there’s a nagging feeling you can’t shake, an uninvited guest in the back of your mind. 
When you check your phone, you realise you have half an hour before you need to head to campus, so you leave to get ready and text Sunghoon back on the way to your room.
you: sounds good, see u later 🤍
After showering, you stand in front of your wardrobe, towel hanging from your body as you pick an outfit. For some reason, you feel under pressure, picking a pair of jeans that do the most for your ass and a low-cut top that Sunghoon once — drunkenly — said he loved on you.
You have the residual sting of mouthwash on your tongue, and one foot out the door when your phone vibrates in your hand. 
hoonie: Do you want to head to class together? 
you: sure! i’m omw out, where should i get you? 
hoonie: .. I’m outside your building :D 
Breathing a laugh through your nose, you don’t fight the giddy smile on your face as you make your way downstairs to meet Sunghoon. Through the glass in the main door, he’s standing at the edge of the pavement and kicking a stone between his feet. The top of his puffer jacket covers the bottom half of his face, and the draught nips your skin when the door opens. Two girls you vaguely recognise stumble in with smudged makeup and heels in their hands, smiling at you while holding the door to let you out.
“Hey!” you call out, jogging over to him. 
Sunghoon turns around, his head poking out of his jacket to grin at you, holding a travel cup and an abundance of tinfoil in your direction. 
“I wasn’t sure if you’d have eaten anything yet, you don’t normally in the morning,” he says, a sheepish smile spreading over his lips when you take it. “Matcha. Ham and cheese toastie.” 
“Did you make these?” you ask, inspecting the familiar cup and appreciating the warmth it provides. 
He hums, nodding his head.
You ignore the heat spreading over your cheeks and thank him with a hug, grinning when he offers to hold your drink while you eat on the walk. The toastie is still hot, the cheese coming close to burning your tongue as you chew, but you appreciate it wholeheartedly, humming contently with each bite. When you’re done, you shove the foil into your pocket, taking your drink from him and smiling around the sweet taste of a matcha latte as he tells you about his schedule for the day. 
“I’m meeting with Coach after class to talk about my grades, but I’m all yours after that.” 
“Talk about your grades? What’s wrong with your grades?” 
Sunghoon groans, head falling back and highlighting the bump of his Adam’s apple. “My grades are.. I failed my coursework this month, so I have resubmissions during finals, and I think he’ll bench me if I fail again.” 
He sounds like he’s being serious, and if the look on his face is anything to go by, he is. The news creases your brows because for as long as you remember, Sunghoon’s grades were your parents’ favourite point of comparison.
“Really?” you ask. He nods. “What’s up? Is something the matter?” 
A humourless laugh slips out of him before he pulls air through his teeth. “Yeah, my best friend didn’t talk to me for three months.” 
“Oh..” Guilt stirs your stomach as you look up at him. “I’m sorry.”
“I’m not blaming you, it’s not like I was trying to talk and you ignored me.” He nudges your arm with his elbow, giving you a warm smile. “But if you feel as guilty about it as you look, you can tutor me for Lit.” 
“Deal.” 
Sunghoon grins, wrapping his arm over your shoulders and holding you close; the action itself isn’t unusual, but the increased heart rate it brings about is. “You’re too good to me,” he says, holding onto you for the rest of the walk to class.
At his request, you sit with Sunghoon in the back row, watching as the lecture hall gradually fills up in front of you. He seems well-prepared, with his laptop and a small notepad and pen neatly arranged on the desk in front of him.
Throughout the class, your eyes inadvertently track his every move. He diligently types up colour-coded notes, occasionally pausing to write things in his notepad before continuing to type or stopping entirely to listen. There’s something melodic about his actions and the way his fingers run over the keyboard. 
During a five-minute break, you glance at his screen. What you find is more than just lecture content; it’s a document adorned with Sunghoon’s own musings about Hemingway’s style and carefully analysed quotations that go beyond the class discussion.
“How are your notes so good?” 
“I picked up the book over the summer when you mentioned it,” Sunghoon replies with a shrug, a shy smile playing on his lips as he leans back in his seat. “I liked it.” 
A slow nod is your response, though your thoughts swirl like autumn leaves in a breeze. The last time Sunghoon read for leisure, you were in primary school, buddy reading Diary of a Wimpy Kid. But this—this is different. You can’t help but stare at him, awestruck as you take him in. His eyes are wide, shining amber in the sunlight as he pushes some of his hair from his face, frowning when it falls back where it was. 
“Don’t look at me like that,” he mumbles. 
Sunghoon takes a new line in his document and points at the screen where you watch the cursor move through the words he’s typing: I would’ve read and annotated the Bible if you wanted me to..
There’s no time to digest what he wrote or the funny feeling in your chest as you reread it before he deletes the whole sentence, pressing his lips together and looking out the window. Speechless, you stare at his side profile, willing your heart rate to slip back to normal. Steep-sloping nose, plump lips flattened into a line, two points of the triangular mole constellation on his face. Analysis worsens your condition, breath hitching in your throat before stopping entirely. Warmth and trepidation blend within you, fuzzy enough at the edges to seem like one thing—a single force that makes your palm itch with desire, desperation, to reach out and run a finger over his features, feel the bump of the mole on his nose — the most prominent — against your skin. 
You remain this way — silent, watching — even when your lecturer resumes the lesson, and Sunghoon starts typing, writing, and listening again. Polite enough to pretend he doesn’t notice your gaze searing into his face.
After class, and his meeting with Coach, you let Sunghoon lead the conversation and the way to your flat, where you find Chaewon and Yunjin sitting on the couch, whispering to themselves while the two of you study at the coffee table. It’s uncomfortable, an awkward height, too high for the way you’re sitting but you feel calm under the supervision of Chaewon and Yunjin—you won’t do anything to merit teasing in front of them, no matter how badly you want to feel Sunghoon’s face in your hands or stroke his cheekbones with your thumbs. 
To the best of your ability, you answer the questions he has for you—he’d written a ton in his tiny notepad during class, his own concerns clear with each neatly-penned iteration of: How to see actions/dialogue for what they are and not what I want them to be? written in the margins and you try not to feel heartbroken for him.
Three hours have passed by when you walk him to the door, the two of you wrapped up in a bubble so secure you’re surprised to find Chaewon and Yunjin still sitting on the couch. They don’t say anything about Sunghoon in his absence, or the fact he’d given you his sweater when he noticed you were cold. You’re not sure why their silence disappoints you.
Instead, Yunjin asks you about trivial things like dinner while Chaewon sits in silence. 
“What flavour for ice cream?” Yunjin asks, rolling her eyes when you tug on the blanket but not complaining. “And don’t say something ridiculous like mint chocolate, YN.” 
“That happened once! And it was three years ago.. How was I supposed to know you hate fun?” 
Chaewon leans into you, letting you curl your limbs around her from behind as you rest your chin on her shoulder, liking the way her clean scent tickles your nose. 
“Mint-cho isn’t that bad,” she starts. “It’s a little jarring, sure, but it’s kind of sweet. Like watching people come to terms with their feelings for each other.” 
You nod your head, humming in understanding and furrowing your brows when Yunjin scoffs, staring straight at you. Her tone is equal parts cutting and loving, so you know she’s not trying to insult you, but don’t know what she means when she says, “It must be so nice to be as oblivious as you.” 
Yunjin never elaborates, and you never ask, actually feeling the statement’s journey in through one of your ears and out the other when dinner arrives. The three of you share pizza, ice cream, and secrets — the three pillars of 20-something-teenage-girlhood — at the kitchen table, with Chaewon sitting in your lap and picking pepperoni from your slices. 
It’s only hours after Yunijn’s gone home, that her words circle back to you, the statement and all of its weight perching on your chest with all the debilitation and persistence of a sleep paralysis demon.
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“I think I’m getting sick,” you say as soon as she opens her door. “It’s been coming on for a while now, at least a week, maybe more.” 
Unimpressed and exhausted, Yunjin looks down at you through half-closed eyes. “Do you..” She pinches the bridge of her nose, sighing. “Do you have any idea what time it is right now?” 
“Yes. It’s three a.m.” 
“Exactly. See a doctor if you’re sick, I’m going back to sleep.”
“This is an emergen—” Yunjin cuts you off by pinching your lips together. “It’s three in the morning,” she reminds you. “You can’t yell like that in my hallway, come in.” 
You nod, crossing the threshold and taking off your shoes next to hers. “Sorry,” you whisper when the door is closed. 
Using her hand, Yunjin lifts your chin, squinting as her eyes adjust to the light when she flips the switch to inspect your face. “You don’t look or sound sick,” she mutters, flicking the light back off and going to her room. “What are your symptoms? And why did you come here?” 
You don’t have an answer for her last question so you ignore it, following her and tripping over a pair of her shoes in the process. “My cheeks start burning like crazy and my heart races, sometimes it gets hard to breathe.”
“You seem fine to me.” 
A shoulder-slumping sigh slips from your lips. “That’s the thing. I’ll be fine and then Sunghoon shows up with his pretty smile and perfect hair and I feel like I’ve run a marathon.” You know how it sounds, choosing your wording meticulously to let Yunjin be the one to say the words out loud instead of you—it’ll be easier to confront that way. 
From the doorway, you watch as she arches a brow, her interest piqued. “Oh?” 
“I know.” You nod, head bobbing rapidly in furious agreement. “It’s only a matter of time before I cough up a lung and die in his bedroom.”
At your words, Yunjin doesn't reply, only lifting her duvet and getting cosy underneath. You feel like you’re glued to the spot, waiting for her to say something, anything, but nothing comes. All she does is pat the empty spot in her bed. 
“What are you smirking for?” you ask, entering the room properly and closing the door. 
Her response only comes after you’ve taken your jacket and hoodie off, sitting next to her under the covers. “It’s nothing,” she says, laughing. 
“Tell me.” 
Yunjin sighs, resting a hand gently on your shoulder. You think it’s meant to be comforting but it’s the opposite. “You’ll be fine, I promise. Lovesickness isn’t deadly.” 
Feeling the weight of her reassurance, you settle down properly and sigh when your head hits the pillow. Lovesickness. Hmm. 
Closing your eyes, you try to sleep but can’t help tossing and turning as Yunjin snores behind you. You pat blindly around the end table for your phone, grabbing it and wincing at the brightness of your screen. Chewing on your lip, you open Google, looking up ‘lovesickness’ and frowning immediately at the results. Endless negativity fills the screen, terrifying words like ‘unrequited love’ forming a pit in your stomach. There’s nothing negative about what you feel for Sunghoon, nothing unrequited—you think. 
It was obvious during the trip, painfully so. In the way he’d tuck your hair behind your ear when his parents weren’t there to see, or how he slipped up and called you ‘baby’ in the bathroom, blushing when you said it back. You can’t fake something like that.. Can you?
Yeonjun did.
Shaking your head, you open Instagram to distract yourself. Jake’s story comes up first; he’s at a party where Jay is losing a game of beer pong, and at the other end of the table is Sunghoon grinning with a bright red lipstick kiss on his cheek. You lock your phone, using your hands to press on your belly to stop the stirring. 
Oh, you think. Lovesickness. 
When you wake up, the first thing you do is check Jake’s story again. The video is still there and that terrible stir in your stomach churns on, burrowing deeply into a pit of canyon-like proportion—so vast there’s a safety railing lining its edges. 
You eat breakfast in silence with Yunjin, zoning out mid-chew to figure out the origin of these feelings and how to handle them. Suddenly, the moment hits you clear as day, vivid like you’re watching it on a screen—it was your third night at his parents’ house, after your walk. 
You felt bad about how you acted, and what you said, so went straight up to your room. With nothing but the bedside lamp turned on, it was dimly lit, shadows cast on the walls as you sulked, replaying everything in your head. Guilt wrapped its long arms around your body, making you feel sick as you thought about it all. About the hurt etched over his face with every word you said, and the frown that stuck around for the rest of the walk as his hand clung limply to yours. 
There was a knock at the door, so gentle you almost missed it, and Sunghoon was standing there when you pulled it open, chewing on his lip with a mug in his hand. Steam skated over the opening, a rich chocolatey smell hitting your nose but the real kicker was the mug itself. In its place on Jake and Sunghoon’s mug tree, it was unassuming, a regular white mug, but upon meeting hot water, the face of young Sunghoon appeared, grinning with his tiny glasses on. It was a gift from one of his old coaches and though he never used it, it was your absolute favourite cup in the world. 
You felt soft around the edges when you looked up at him, his eyes wide and unsure as you met his gaze—he brought that mug three hours across the country so you could use it again. The thought shifted your heart into a comfortable position, settling in your chest with overwhelming warmth and an increased rate. 
“Hi,” you said, clearing your throat. 
“Hi,” he repeated, holding the mug out for you to take. “It’s still hot so be careful.” 
Nodding, you covered your hands with your sleeves, taking the cup from him and asking if he wanted to come in. Sunghoon nodded, shutting the door behind him and standing by the bed, watching you set the hot chocolate on the bedside table as you sat down. The two of you stayed like that for a while, with him only moving when you patted the spot next to you on the duvet. Your train of thought escaped you as soon as he sat down, the warmth of his familiar fresh, citrusy scent taking over and becoming the only thing you could register. The smell of summers with him, long days at the beach and short nights spent on the couch at random parties, cuddled into his side with his arm over your shoulders. The smell you’d come to associate with comfort and home—with Sunghoon. 
“It’s not fair for me to treat you like shit just because I’m annoyed, I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that earlier. I’m sorry.” 
A crease ran over Sunghoon’s thick brows as they tugged together, he shook his head. “You don’t have to apologise. I roped you into this whole thing and didn’t even try to think about how you would feel. I’m sorry.” His eyes carried a mix of regret and sincerity, mirroring the weight of his words.
“Anyway, I only came to bring you that,” he said, pointing at the cup. “And to check up on you, I’ll get out of your hair for tonight.” Sunghoon wiped his palms on his pants before standing up, reaching behind him to pick up the cloth he brought. For a moment, he stood there, staring down at it in his hand while you thought about telling him to stay, telling him that you wanted him in your hair—whatever that meant. But he spoke before you had the chance. “You left this, at mine, after.. well, you know. I’m sure you left it intentionally, I mean it was folded up perfectly on the end of my bed, so I know you did, but it didn’t feel right keeping it, you always wore it more than me.” 
Sunghoon extended his hand, holding it out to you and you knew exactly what it was as soon as the fabric touched your skin after so long. It was the shirt Jay bought him for Christmas in first year—they were roommates still trying to get a feel for each other. For a few weeks, Sunghoon had been pestering you about what he should get for Jay, saying it didn’t feel right not to get him anything, and you suggested a targeted t-shirt, one you’d been laughing at all day after seeing an ad for it on your timeline. Sunghoon was sceptical, but bought the red shirt anyway, hoping Jay would find BEING DAD IS AN HONOUR, BEING PAPA IS PRICELESS funny. He did. And Jay bought Sunghoon a targeted shirt too, your favourite. It was black and two sizes too big, with I NEVER DREAMED I’D BE A SEXY FIGURE SKATER BUT HERE I AM KILLING IT written over the chest. 
“Goodnight, YN,” Sunghoon said, crossing the room to leave but hesitating before closing the door. He poked his head through the opening and sighed. “I really am sorry.”
That night, you fell asleep in the shirt, the thinning, yet cosy, fabric wrapped around you like a hug as your heart started to beat a new rhythm, one that eerily echoed the five-foot-eleven figure skater who you let break it. 
This morning, Yunjin claps her hands in your face, seeming irritated when you look over at her. “You have class in an hour, what are you doing?” Before you have the chance to speak, realisation covers her face. “Oh, the feelings.” 
You nod solemnly, too caught up in the butterflies raiding your stomach to come up with something to say. 
At lightspeed, you scarf down the rest of your food, apologising for showing up so late as you head out the door. When you get home, you take the fastest shower of your life and feel grateful Chaewon isn’t around to tease you about the smile you can’t wipe from your face thinking about Sunghoon—you’ll text her later.
You run to campus, feeling the brisk autumn wind beating against your face while the rest of your body overheats under your jacket, hoodie and long sleeve. Despite the discomfort and ache in your lungs, you don’t stop until you reach the door of your lecture hall, huffing and puffing into the faces of classmates who don’t take any notice. Of course, in a stroke of pure luck, your lecturer is late, and you realise bitterly, that all of your huffing and puffing was in vain—you would have gotten to class with time to spare even if you walked.
It’s not a total waste though; you use the time to update Chaewon. 
you: i have news wonie..  i like sunghoon
wonie: …………….. fork in the kitchen yn what’s the news? 
wonie: OHHHH news to YOU.. can i call? 
She calls you immediately. You answer without thinking because your lecturer still hasn’t arrived, and there’s no one sitting close enough to hear or notice you taking a call. 
“Are you going to tell him?!” Chaewon’s voice is so loud you wince, pulling the phone away from your ear. 
“I don’t know.” You shrug even though she can’t see you, still holding the device at a distance just in case. “I don’t have any confirmation that he still.. likes me. It’s been a while, and I was pretty mean that day. 
Chaewon groans and you can picture her throwing herself onto her bed, exasperated. The rustling that comes through the receiver only frames the image, hanging it up. “Did you have to tell him to get a grip?” 
“You know..” You trail off, chewing on your bottom lip. “In hindsight, probably not.” 
A beat passes, she’s thinking. “Don’t worry,” she says. “I’ll help you.” 
“I.. have never been so worried in my life.” You sigh, picking at your freshly painted nails. “But I know you’ll do something no matter what I say, so do what you want, Wonie, but please be subtle about it.” 
Chaewon squeals down the phone. “I love youuuuu!” And it’s the last thing she says before kissing the mic a few times and hanging up. 
Slumping in your seat, you don’t have any time to stress about Chaewon’s plans because your lecturer walks in, with a travel cup in her hand and a paperback tucked under her arm. 
She apologises for being late, running a hand through her hair as she announces that you’ll be watching a film, an adaptation of a book you read at the start of term—Ian McEwan’s Atonement. You spend the first hour of the movie falling in and out of sleep until a text comes through from Sunghoon, and sheer excitement keeps you up.
hoonie: Wanna study together after class? 
you: of course!!!!!! 
hoonie: 🤍
The rest of the movie goes by in a drag, and you come away from it with a mild irritation towards Saoirse Ronan.
you: class just finished, heading to lib rn 
hoonie: Shit, still in the locker room, sorry !!! Omw, can you get a table? 
you: i’ll try..
It takes a while but you find an empty booth on the second floor, and set your bag on the plush green seat to take pictures of your surroundings to send to Sunghoon. You sit on the side facing the stairs so he can see you when he arrives. The thought of seeing him makes your heart race and you try out a few natural-seeming poses for when he’s here, cycling between resting your palm under your chin and sitting with your arms crossed a few times until the top of his head comes into view. 
Seeing him knocks the wind out of you as he approaches the staircase, taking them two at a time with his damp hair clinging to his forehead and neck. It doesn’t help that he’s wearing a tight black vest, and his sweats are hanging low on his hips. A breath you didn’t realise you were holding slips out when he lifts his head, spotting you immediately as a grin spreads over his lips and he raises his arm to wave, the veins in his forearm peeking out to say hi too. You can’t tell if it’s his lack of winter wardrobe or your newfound appreciation for him that’s making his biceps look so huge but it’s hard to look away, even when he reaches the table. 
“Are you hot?” you blurt out. 
Sunghoon laughs, raising a brow and something about the way he’s looking down at you makes your cheeks burn. “Depends who’s asking.” He takes his backpack off, leaving it on the table as he sits down, dumping his jacket and hoodie in a pile beside him.
“I’m asking,” you mumble. 
“Then, yeah, I’d hope so.” 
Is he flirting? It sounds like he’s flirting. Flirt back! “Nice arms.” 
He looks down at his biceps for a beat before looking at you warily. “Are you flirting with me?” He can’t fight the smile twitching at the corners of his lips but he tries his best, pressing them into a straight line.
“A little. They are nice though,” you admit.
Sunghoon grins. “Thanks, I’ve had them for a while now.”
You can’t come up with anything to say, too distracted by the way his smile reaches his eyes, lighting up his whole face and forcing a flustered heat to spread over your cheeks and neck. It’s only when you look away from him that you remember what you’re here for. It’s a study date, not a study date—there’s a difference. 
You hand Sunghoon the material you’d printed for him over the weekend, excerpts from texts you’d studied in class, so he can practise close reading and proper citation. As he makes his way through them, you can’t help stealing glances, smiling at the way his tongue sticks out a little while he focuses, or how he twirls his pen in his fingers while he’s thinking. You aren’t making the best use of your time together, copying out the slides from class yesterday, but you can’t help noticing the way he watches you when he thinks you can’t see. The small smile on his face while he does so only flusters you, an odd weakness settling in your knees as your cheeks heat up. 
After a while, Sunghoon sighs, running a hand through his hair. “Could you stop watching me?”
“If you noticed me watching, that means you’re watching me.” 
He shrugs, chewing on his lip. “Well, yeah. I’m always watching you,” he says like it’s a given. “But you don’t normally watch back, it’s distracting.” 
“You’re distracting.”
A playful smile curves his lips as he arches a brow, smugness painting his face. “Am I?” 
Too scared to verbalise your response, you nod slowly, hoping you don’t look as wound up as you feel. 
Sunghoon’s eyes flick over your face, flashing with something you don’t recognise. At least not from him. He sits back in his seat, assessing you and eventually shaking his head. 
“You know,” he says, eyes glowing with something you do recognise: cockiness. “If my sexy arms are getting to you that much, I can always put my hoodie back on. Wouldn’t want my little tutor getting distracted, would I?” 
Oh. 
Your stomach turns with want, mind reeling from his tone and the way his gaze lands on your lips. Sighing, you roll your eyes and try to seem unaffected. “Sunghoon, I never said your arms were sexy.” 
His phone starts to go off, buzzing against the table and he turns it over immediately, screen down on the surface as he shifts his focus back to his work. He chews on his lip while he does, eyes flicking back and forth between his phone and the words on the page. Curious, you lean over the table, elbows propped up as you rest your chin in your hands. He doesn’t spare you or his phone, which vibrates another four times, a glance.
“Are you going to get that?” 
Sunghoon shakes his head. “It’s nothing.” 
You hum, letting just enough curiosity seep into the sound that he’ll elaborate without being asked to. It doesn’t take long for him to deliver.
“It’s just Chaewon,” he says, running his hand through his hair and lifting his head. Sunghoon smiles. “We’ve been texting a lot these days.” 
“Cool.” You nod a few times, aiming for nonchalance but hitting bobblehead as you wait for him to continue. He doesn’t, only humming in response, nodding too. 
After a beat, he picks up his phone, angling it just high enough that you can’t see the screen. He reads the messages, an exhaled laugh coming from his nose as the tips of his ears redden—Fuck. This is worse than you thought. 
Chaewon’s commitment to girl code runs deep—she’s been rebuffing Jake since first year when she overheard a girl she’d never seen before telling her friends she thought he was cute. So you know without having to read the texts that nothing she’s saying is even remotely flirty, you can smell the auto-caps and use of the word ‘buddy’ from across the table. 
What you hadn’t counted on, however, was the potential for Sunghoon’s feelings to shift. If they really have been texting more, can you rule out the possibility that he might like.. her? Chaewon is a catch, beyond a catch, and you’d already turned Sunghoon down. Brutally. Of course, he’d move on, he has moved on. 
The rest of the study session is spent manifesting, writing Park Sunghoon over and over in the back of your notebook. You fill three pages while brainstorming ways to snatch a lock of his hair until he suggests that the two of you call it a day. He walks you home, telling you about how Jake’s been bribing him with food to get a ride to the LEGO store across town for the new Marvel set. 
“With or without the meals, I would’ve taken him, but his ramen is my favourite, so..” Sunghoon says, climbing the last step of your building and holding the door open for you. “He even brought a slice of tiramisu to the rink for me after practice.” 
“You’re terrible,” you say, frowning up at him as you search for your keys. “Do you want to come in?” 
Sunghoon chuckles, shaking his head. “I have a meeting with one of my lecturers soon, I’d have to leave in—” He pauses, rolling up the sleeve of his jacket to check the time. “—eight minutes.” 
“I’m cool with that if you are,” you mumble, suddenly shy. 
A bright smile spreads over his lips and he nods, following you in. 
Chilled by the harsh wind, the only thing on your mind is a hot drink as you lead Sunghoon to the kitchen. He shakes his head when you offer him one, sitting on the countertop and exhaling into his palms before rubbing them together. You can’t help but frown at the sight, feeling guilty that you can’t change the weather to suit him. At your thought process, your brows raise. Wow, you think. Is this who you are? 
You busy yourself with the selection of hot drinks you and Chaewon have accumulated, eyeing each container from top to bottom. A purple tub of Cadbury’s hot chocolate that you’re sure is on the brink of expiration, coffee—sachets of the instant stuff you’ve grown to like since leaving home, Earl grey from one of many brands, or the fancy silk tea bags Chaewon’s mum brought home from a trip—rooibos or plum-apple-cinnamon. 
Craving something sweet, you settle for hot chocolate, pulling the heavy container from the cupboard next to Sunghoon’s head and setting it beside your cup. He’s on his phone, scrolling too fast to take in anything he’s seeing and he shakes his head when you ask if he wants something to drink. 
On the dish rack, Chaewon’s mug catches your eye, so you pick it up to dry it off and put it down next to yours. “I’m going to check if Wonie wants any,” you say, wiping imaginary crumbs from the counter onto the floor. 
Sunghoon only clears his throat, shaking his head. “She’s not home, one of her acrylics popped off so she’s at the shop waiting for a cancellation.” 
The information itself isn’t jarring but hearing it from Sunghoon is. You put on what you hope is a neutral smile and nod, taking milk from the fridge and assembling your drink on autopilot while thinking of ways to redirect the conversation. 
“If you knew you’d have to go back to campus so soon, why’d you walk me home?” you ask, watching your cup spin in the microwave. “I could’ve walked on my own.” 
Sunghoon is already looking at you when you turn your head, his cheeks puffed out with air as he blinks slowly. Because I love you, is what you hope he’ll say. You think you need him to say it. 
“Because you don’t have to do anything on your own when you have me,” he says instead, and it’s infinitely better. 
The words seep through your every fibre, his intonation and lucid affection making a home for themselves in your heart, spreading warmth from head to toe. Your smile becomes a radiant grin, only brightening when he shakes his head, smiling down at his feet. 
Sunghoon hugs you in the kitchen when it’s time for him to leave, his arms holding you tight to his chest as he rocks you back and forth. You inhale his scent, all warm citrus under freshly washed cotton and something exclusive to him.
Wiping the smile from your face feels impossible. You don’t let go when he does, and a sweet laugh — a giggle, you think — tumbles out of him as he mumbles that he really has to go. Still, you cling onto him, taking clumsy steps backwards, with your arms locked around his waist, to your front door, smiling as you watch him put his shoes on. 
“You don’t have to walk me downstairs, honestly,” he says, looking down at you in the doorway.
“I want to.” 
His lips quirk up at the corners, a full smile breaking through and causing your stomach to flutter with so much force you’re sure it’s visible through your shirt. His eyes fall to your lips, lingering, before he clears his throat, looking away. 
“I’ll text you when I get to the door, promise.” 
You lock your pinky with his. “Send a selfie, just so I know it’s you and not someone else using your phone.” 
Sunghoon’s head falls back in a laugh. “Should I just call you? That way you can make sure I get back to uni in one piece.” 
You nod.
“That wasn’t anything with Chaewon earlier, I just needed advice on some girl stuff..” He trails off, searching your eyes. It’s obvious that he’s telling the truth, that he wants you to believe him. You do. “I wasn’t sure if that was something I could talk about with you.” 
Girl stuff. Hmm. You try not to read too much into it and look at the bigger picture instead—your best friend is going through something and doesn’t feel like he can come to you about it.. You squeeze his pinky reassuringly, a flutter in your stomach when he smiles. 
“You can talk to me about anything,” you say, meaning it. 
Sunghoon presses his lips together, humming and unlinking your fingers. “Next time,” he says after a beat, waving at you. 
You shut the door, locking it while watching through the peephole, he leaves as soon as the lock clicks shut. In the kitchen, your hot chocolate is cooling down, and your phone rings in your back pocket. Sunghoon’s calling. 
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Hanging out with Sunghoon. Making sure he sticks to the time-blocked schedule you made for him. Quizzing him on biology terms until he gets restless. If the last two weeks were an episode of Family Feud, those would be the top three answers to the question: Name something YN is doing right now.
Thankfully tonight, it’s the first one. 
You’ve been sitting on the couch for so long, Jake has both left for football practice and arrived from football practice. Conversation ebbs and flows—an hour or so of nonstop talking, followed by another hour or so of comfortable near silence. 
It’s during a quiet hour that Sunghoon sits up straight, clearing his throat before saying, “Let me ask you something. He retreats to the other side of the couch, turning to face you with his whole body. “I don’t want things to be weird after I ask, so no matter what your answer is, I won’t bring it up or ask again.”
Arching a curious brow, you nod. “You can ask me anything,” you say, meaning it.
Sunghoon’s face is impressively blank—minus the motion of sharp teeth worrying plush lip, there’s absolutely nothing behind his eyes that seem to stare right through you. 
Eventually, he asks, “Can I kiss you?” He says more. Big, scary words like for closure and moving on, but they don’t register. They don’t matter. 
Your heart pounds at the base of your throat as you find interest in your hands that sit in your lap. Even without looking at him, you can’t get over the slight crease he had in his brow and the slight tremor in his hands. 
“For closure,” you repeat, though your voice doesn’t sound like it’s coming from you, muffled under the thump of your heart. 
Sunghoon nods. “For closure.” 
A humourless laugh sneaks past your throat as you look at him. You shouldn’t have. In the lamplight, Sunghoon is golden and glorious. Warm light casts one side of his face, diffusing gently over the steep slope of his nose, highlighting his moles and the look in his eyes, gentle and curious all at once. Unwillingly, your gaze falls to his lips, parted, tempting. 
One firm nod of your head brings Sunghoon’s hand to your face, his palm cupping your cheek with soft skin as his thumb traces your cheekbone. You grow anxious under his stare, under the drag of his eyes over your features, taking them one at a time like he’s committing them to memory.
Leaning in, your eyes flutter shut as your lips meet his and he freezes, mouth completely still on yours. Delicately, your tongue traces the seam of his lips, soft and plump, until they part for you, moving with yours. Sunghoon’s kiss is unpolished when it reaches you. It’s hesitant but tender, clumsy but sweet, he’s trying and he’s perfect; your favourite. 
The kiss is.. it’s everything. It’s the racing of your heart, the thudding, the vibrant buzz you can hear, feel humming against your ears. It’s a rush of blood to the head, a lightness all over that pulls you out of your body. It’s Sunghoon’s soft lips curving into a smile against yours, his gentle hold on your face never letting up as he holds you as close as he can manage, and it’s every bit as lovely as the rest of him.
Palpable is the heartbeat of your friendship, beating to a lull under the surface of the kiss, fizzling out into nothing, a steady silence, flatlining to give way to something more, something bigger. 
Every brush of your lips against his is a revelation, a confession. You’re all I’ve ever wanted, you tell him with your kiss. You’re everything I need. His free hand finds yours, locking your fingers and squeezing, the action timed well enough to make you think he hears you, to make you think he’s saying, we’ll be okay, I still love you. 
With that, he pulls away, a delicate tension piercing the air. Blown eyes and laboured breathing—he’s beautiful, fuzzy around the edges with warm orange and all of the love in your heart. Breathless, you chew on your lip, cognisant of Sunghoon’s hand in yours and the sparkle in his eyes as he looks at you. 
Belatedly, you squeeze his hand back, smiling. “Was it everything you ever dreamed of?” you whisper, part teasing, all curious.
Abruptly, Sunghoon stands up, letting go of you in the process. “I have to go.” 
You want to stop him, you think you’re supposed to. To grab him by the arm and kiss him again, to yell in his face that you love him until he understands. But you don’t. Instead, you stay seated, staring at Sunghoon’s back and following him with your eyes out of the room and down the hall until he’s out of sight. 
It’s your first time being so upset after a kiss, and you can’t tell if it’s his leaving or the mention of him moving on that’s tripping you up so much. That’s causing melancholy to crawl from the shadows, sinking its jagged nails into your skin to pull you under. 
You love him. He’s gone. 
Eyes stuck on the doorway, time stretches over the room around you, thick and malleable, wet and cloying—clay stuck under your nails for days as the fire in the kiln rages on. 
Sighing, you get up and wait at his door. You ball your hand into a limp fist, knocking weakly. Sunghoon doesn’t reply. You try again, harder. Still nothing. 
Barging into the room, you find him sitting on the end of his bed with his face in his hands. 
“Don’t move on.” The words come out before you realise and Sunghoon lifts his head, squinting at you. 
“Huh?” He tilts his head, watching closely as you approach him, tipping it back enough to meet your eyes when you stand over him. 
You take a breath, holding it until your head starts to spin. “I don’t want you to love someone else, Sunghoon. Please don’t move on.” 
The stillness that follows is disconcerting, a long quiet you can feel on your skin, amplifying the blank stare on his face as he looks up at you. His eyes flash, a spark of hope behind them so bright it stings to look at.
“Do you..” He trails off, his lips moving to form the next word though stopping short.
“I do,” you whisper, nodding. “I’m sorry for taking so long.”
An exhaled laugh comes from his nose as he grins, shaking his head. “You like me?” he asks, excitement and disbelief fighting for authority over his voice, his hands holding your waist and pulling you down into his lap.
“I love you,” you admit, settling on his thighs. 
“You do?” His eyes are wide and gleaming, searching every feature on your face before settling on your own.
You nod. “So much.” 
Sunghoon’s chin tips up, his lips pressing against yours, excited pecks that can’t turn into much more for the smiles on your faces. You rest your arms on his shoulders, hands clasping behind his head, nervous fingers playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. 
“So.. will you be my boyfriend? For real?” 
Tilting his head, he tries and fails to fight a smile. “I will. I’m a little bummed though.” 
“Why?” You raise a brow, and the word tips up at the end with it. 
“I wanted to be the one to ask you.” Sunghoon’s honesty warms the room, endearing you completely. 
You grin, loving the heat spreading over your cheeks. “Ask me anyway.” 
“Please can I be your boyfriend?” 
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In the weeks that followed, it became immediately clear that boyfriend Sunghoon operated on a pendulum swinging between sexual ferality and terror. He’d get distracted during study sessions at home, finding more interest in biting at your neck than stream-of-consciousness prose, but closed his eyes if a sex scene came on TV. He’d buck his hips against yours while making out but flinch at the sight of condoms in the store.
He wasn’t ready to have sex and didn’t know how to tell you, so you took matters into your own hands, asking if you could wait until after his results for resubmission came in, saying you didn’t want the distraction for either of you. Sunghoon agreed, pecking your cheek and holding you tight to his chest. 
The only thing was that your lecturer hadn’t given him an exact date, so every morning, you held your phone in a vice grip waiting for Sunghoon to update you, and every morning, you got the same text: Nothing today, baby ☹️ 
This morning, you’re brushing your teeth when he texts you, in all caps: NO FUCKING WAY I GOT A 98 !!! LOOK !!!
When the picture comes through, it’s of him in the mirror and you choke on mouthwash at the sight. He’s smiling, bright and beautiful, in a black vest that he’s holding up a little to show his stomach, though his palm is in the way of his toned abs, and it cuts off right at the top of his grey sweatpants. 
Your mouth goes dry as you click on it, fixating on every little detail you can find: the thickness of his fingers against his phone, the dip in his collarbones, the breadth of his shoulders and the cinch of his waist. In a fit of desperation, you try swiping at the bottom of your screen, willing the picture to magically extend. It doesn’t. 
hoonie: Finger slipped.. You like?
you: mm.. 
you: 98??? HOLY SHIT, LOOK AT YOU!!!
hoonie: All you.. do you like the picture?
you: i love it………….
hoonie: My girl 🤍
Another picture comes in, and sure enough, through the glare of his laptop screen, you see: Course name: The Modernist Movement: Joyce, Woolf, and Hemingway. Marks Awarded: 98.0.
you: well done baby !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hoonie: Thx 😁
hoonie: Can I have my prize now ha ha .. haha 😈
you: just for that emoji, no you absolutely cannot.
Your resolve isn’t strong enough when it comes to Sunghoon, because purple devil emoji and all, you show up at his door with condoms in your bag and a bouquet of lilies behind your back. 
The door creaks open and Sunghoon greets you with a grin. “Hey, gorgeous. You proud of me?” 
You beam at him, holding out the flowers. “I’m very proud, Hoon, well done.” 
“I don’t want to ruin the moment,” he starts, taking the bouquet from your hands and sniffing the flowers with an approving smile. “But hearing you say you’re proud of me is awakening something I didn’t know existed.”
“A good something?” 
“Mm,” he hums, arms finding your waist before he pecks your lips. “A very good something.” 
Sunghoon’s words hit your lips and your core, a desperate heat flooding your stomach as he kisses you deeply, his body pressed tightly against yours while he pulls you into his apartment. He kicks the door shut with his foot, slipping his hand under your jacket to settle in your back pocket, not quite squeezing but holding your ass as gently as he can manage. 
He breaks away from you, love in his eyes as he stares down into yours, catching his breath. “I don’t think we own a vase.” 
In his kitchen, you rifle through cupboards to find something to hold the flowers, eventually finding a whiskey decanter in the cupboard under the sink, and holding it up for Sunghoon to see.
“Oh, yeah,” he says. “It’s Jay’s. It’ll work right?” 
You nod, taking it to the sink to rinse it. Sunghoon wraps his arms around you from behind, resting his chin on your shoulder watching you fill the decanter with water and flower food before grabbing the bouquet. He presses open-mouthed kisses to your neck and you struggle to stay focused as you cut down the stems on the flowers, arranging them neatly. 
“Can I take a photo?” he asks when you’re done. 
He’s smiling when you turn around to look at him, a soft curve of his lips that makes your heart race, a deep tenderness in his eyes when you meet them. You smile too. 
“They’re yours, baby, do whatever you want.” 
“A photo of you with the flowers,” he clarifies. 
Warmth settles in your chest, a grin spreading over your lips from ear to ear. You nod, taking the decanter in your hands when he lets go of you, holding the flowers up beside your face and smiling for his camera. As his phone shutter clicks away, you steal glances at his face behind it. He’s watching the screen with a smile, telling you how beautiful you are.
“I want pictures of you too,” you say, handing the flowers over. 
“I’m yours, baby, do whatever you want.” 
Sunghoon poses for your photos, smiling sweetly in some and sniffing the bouquet appreciatively with closed eyes for others. He’s glowing and he’s beautiful and your heart triples in size while taking picture after picture until your phone tells you it has ten percent. 
“Thank you, YN,” he says. “I’ve never gotten flowers before, I love them.” His arms settle around your waist, lips pressing against yours before you have the chance to respond. 
You try anyway, mumbling against his lips that you love him. In response, Sunghoon grins, but the feeling of his cock growing hard against you is distracting, a lust-coated thorn in the side of the butterflies fluttering in your stomach. With locked lips and uncertain steps, the two of you bump into corners and trip over your own feet, stumbling to his room and parting only to tear his hoodie over his head.
Breathless, you pull away, eyes trailing over him and picking up on everything, from the tremble in his hands to the lust-addled worry in his eyes. He’s nervous, you think—though it escapes you, the last word coming out like a question.
Sunghoon scoffs, his hands resting on your waist under your shirt, skin clammy against yours. “Of course, I’m nervous.” 
“You don’t have to be.”
“I just want to be good for you.” 
“Don’t worry about that, let me take care of you, Hoon.” Your palms drag up his torso — firm abs through soft cotton, defined chest over racing heart — to rest on his shoulders. “Sit,” you say when he nods. 
He gulps, taking a seat on the end of his bed under your gentle push, eyes widening when you sink to your knees between his legs and reach for his drawstring, pulling the ends to untie the knot. 
“Wait,” Sunghoon says, breathless, scrunching up his face and dropping his head. “Let me calm down, baby. At this rate, I’ll come just seeing your hand on it.” 
You giggle, resting your head on his thigh and wrapping the drawstring around your finger.
“I’m serious, YN,” he mumbles, laughing as he takes his vest off. “I need a minute.” 
Sunghoon’s eyes are pressed shut as he tries to collect himself, lips pouty and kiss-bitten, slightly parted with ragged breaths slipping out. You wait patiently for him. He’s so pretty like this, with the crease in his brow and the pretty pink flush dusting his cheeks as his chest rises and falls. You can’t help but smile, leaning into his touch when his hand rests on top of your head, his blunt nails grazing your scalp. After a while, he seems more at ease, his eyes finding yours and he smiles shyly, telling you he’s ready now and lifting his hips from the bed to let you pull his sweats and underwear down. 
Free from the constraints of fabric, his cock slaps his stomach with a wet sound as the tip meets his skin, leaving a pearlescent streak over his abs. The sight makes your mouth water and you can’t look away. “Pretty,” you whisper.
Wrapping a hand under his tip, you swipe it with your thumb, taking time to memorise the flutter of his eyelids, the bobbing of his Adam’s apple, and the soft sigh he lets out. You stroke him slowly, liking the way his breath picks up as his brows knit together before you take him in your mouth. It’s a tight fit but you do your best, spurred on by the way he tugs at your hair and stutters through a holy fuck as you take as much of him as you can. 
Sunghoon goes silent, only squirming when you use your hand to stroke him near his base. Self-conscious about his lack of vocal affirmation, you look up at him through your lashes, and the pure bliss on his face is unbearably attractive. His eyes are rolled back under furrowed brows, his mouth hanging open as he throws his head back.
“Am I doing okay?” you ask, using the moment to catch your breath.
He nods, inhaling shakily and screwing his eyes shut while his hips buck up into your fist. “I’m.. You’re doing such a good job, baby, so good.”
Satisfaction courses through you from the praise, a high that dulls the ache in your jaw. Still watching him, you massage his balls in your palm, pressing open-mouthed kisses to his tip when he whines. You tongue at his slit until he thrusts back into your mouth, tip hitting your throat, and he gasps when you gag, his arm coming up to cover his eyes. A belated apology slips from his lips, mumbled as he strokes your hair with a shaking hand and goes quiet again. When you speed up, his breath stutters, the muscles in his thighs contracting around your head as you suck and lick and drool on his cock. 
A moan of your name, and his hand holding your hand down, are the only warnings you get before Sunghoon comes, spilling his load right down your throat. Whining, his hips buck up against your face, pushing further and further until he falls back onto the mattress.
Your throat is hoarse and aches while you use the back of your hand to wipe at your lips, enjoying what’s left of his taste on your tongue. Deep red tints his neck and chest, a pretty flush gleaming under the sheen of sweat on his skin. He’s mesmerising, as he tries for air through swollen lips and looks up at you through squinted eyes. He reaches for you, cute grabby hands tugging your shirt and pulling you down so you’re lying next to him with your head on his chest. 
“You’re amazing, baby, so good for me,” Sunghoon whispers, eyes fluttering shut as you drag your nails over his torso, feeling the subtle heave of the slick, sculpted muscle over his stomach and chest. 
Pride heats your chest, satisfaction rolling over you like a wave. “Really?”
He hums in affirmation, nodding his head. 
“You were so quiet, I couldn’t really tell,” you add, hungry for more praise. 
“The walls are so thin in here, I just got used to being quiet,” Sunghoon says, frowning. Hand meeting your chin, he tips your head up towards him, pressing a soft kiss to your lips and mumbling, “I’m sorry. You were perfect, I swear.” 
It’s a sweet kiss. Until lips move harder and hands get lower, desperate as he thumbs the top of your leggings, palm unmoving but a dangerous heat blooms in your stomach anyway.
“Can I..” Sunghoon pinches you softly through the material, unsure eyes boring deep into yours. 
You nod. “You can.” 
Slipping under your waistband, his fingers skate across your skin dipping between your thighs. He grazes your slit, satisfaction clear in the groan he lets out as he feels the wetness there, pulling it over the length of your slit to cover your clit. Your breath hitches, a strangled gasp, pleasure and surprise meeting in your throat under the pressure of his thumb on your clit, the gentle sting of his finger pushing into you. 
What Sunghoon lacks in experience, he makes up for with the sheer length and thickness of his fingers. It’s almost jarring, it’s enough to force your eyes closed and bring a sigh rumbling out of you, ache and relief settling between your legs, where he curls a finger against your walls and drags slow circles over your clit. 
“Can you take these off, baby?” he asks, hand away to touch your leggings. 
You don’t waste a second, sitting up to pull them off, throwing them and your underwear across the room. Sunghoon licks his lips, tugging at the hem of your shirt. 
“And this? If you want..” 
You nod, pulling it off immediately to let it join the rest of your clothes in a heap on the floor. The way he gulps is a confidence boost, his dilated pupils taking in every inch of your body, though his gaze always pulls back to your bra—white and lacy, thin enough for your nipples to push through the fabric and Sunghoon can’t seem to get enough, though he waits until you’re lying down again to touch you. 
Sunghoon props himself up on his elbow, leaning over you. “You’re beautiful,” he whispers, dragging a finger over the lace at the top of your bra, toying with the material and the little bow sitting between your breasts. His eyes flick up to meet yours. “So beautiful,” he repeats. 
Hiding your face in his chest, you mumble, “Thank you,” into his skin while trying to ignore the heat spreading over your body wherever he touches you. His hand trails from your arm to your waist, resting on your hips to slip over your ass for a beat, where he grabs and squeezes the flesh there before coming back around to slot between your legs—you lift one of them, resting it over his body, and he’s smiling sweetly when you look up at him.
Sunghoon’s movements are unchanging, though the sensation is heightened by the unbridled desire in his lidded eyes that urges white heat to lick over every inch of your skin—this time he pushes two fingers into you.
It doesn’t get better than this, you think. But it does, quickly. 
Leaning over you, his eyes flick across your face, one feature at a time as he chews on his lip. Reaching up, you push some of his hair from his face, holding it back and saying, “Relax, baby.” 
“Don’t want to hurt you.”
Moving your hand, you blink when his hair flops back over his forehead, tickling your eyelashes. His eyes are focused now, staring straight down into yours, want and worry flashing behind them. 
“You won’t, I promise,” you say, locking your pinky with his, feeling relieved when he smiles.
Sunghoon pushes in slowly, his name slipping from your lips when he exhales shakily, head falling forward. The sting, the pleasure, make it hard to breathe, molten desire taking hold of your lungs as he carves out a place for himself as far as you’ll take him, all the way to the hilt as slow as he can manage. 
A moan tears out of him, lewd and whiny as his hair tickles your collarbone, head falling into the crook of your neck. His skin is hot and damp against yours, his breath burning your shoulder as he tries to calm down. It’s difficult to register much else, tethered only by the sound of his voice when he asks, “Am I hurting you?” 
“Hoon,” you whisper. 
“Can you look at me, baby?” He lifts his head, resting a hand on your cheek. You blink your eyes open, gaze locking with his, where concern pushes through his desire. “Am I hurting you?” he asks again. “Are you okay?” 
You nod. “I’m okay, just..” You sigh. “Full. Need a minute.” 
Sunghoon kisses you, lips moving gently with yours, passing breathy whines between your mouths until you feel yourself relaxing. Pulling his plush bottom lip between yours, you suck on it, nodding. “Want you to move, baby,” you mumble. 
He scans your face, eyes meeting yours as he pulls his hips back. He’s slow, so slow with his thrusts that your belly turns with want, your fingernails sink into the taut skin of his back, and jagged sobs fall out of you with each drag of his cock along your walls. 
Everywhere his skin touches yours is set ablaze with scorching heat, goosebumps pushing past the surface as his breath fans your neck and his sharp teeth graze your skin. He bites hard enough to sting, and you wince as his tongue flicks over your bitten flesh to soothe you.
You were so worked up earlier, writhing against the sheets and coming undone in his palm, so bliss quickly pushes through the ache between your legs. “Good, Hoon, feels so good,” you manage, struggling to convey how perfect it is.
“Just want to make you feel good.” His words melt into each other, vowels soft and elongated as they curl around each other. He’s working up a steady rhythm, his tip consistently nudging you where you need it—the spot that makes the room blur around you. “That’s all I want.” 
Before long, the knot in your stomach pulls you up from the mattress, arching your back towards the ceiling. Mouth to mouth, chest to chest—it’s the closest you’ve ever felt to someone else, the closest you’ve ever been. The thought alone knocks the wind out of you, and his persistent whining does nothing to help.
Your want and adoration for Sunghoon run bone-deep, inching up your spine and creeping over your shoulders, intertwined with an all-consuming pleasure that turns the heat in your stomach molten as a shudder zips through you. Even though you can’t find the words to let him know, he lifts your hips from the bed to fuck you deeper, harder, into the mattress until shaky orgasms pull both of you under. 
You let him fall into you, fingers curling around his hair, whispering I love you into the skin of his neck as he comes, most of his weight on top of you while you catch your breath, relishing in the fullness you feel as the last waves of your high pull back. You stay like this for as long as he needs, his head coming up from the crook of your neck to smile at you before pressing his lips to yours. A sleepy haze fills the room around you, tongue swiping tongue as you giggle happily into his mouth. 
After a while, he gets up, tying the condom to throw it away and comes back with his shirt. He uses it to clean up—gentle between your legs, pressing kisses to your calves while he does. Sunghoon’s tenderness wraps around your heart, and love clouds your vision, forming a blurry trail that follows all of his movements, glowing like something from a dream, ethereal, an apparition. 
The bed dips beside you, his arms around you, pulling you in so his chin rests on your head. You push your cheek into his chest, hoping the two of you will meld into one—the thought makes you warm all over, a fuzziness that reaches every part of your body while he presses kisses into your hair, rubbing your back. 
“I love you,” he says, voice as soft as the rest of him. “I’m glad I exist.”
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mama park: Hi lovely 😍 missing you lots, wondering when you’ll be home for Xmas………..love ma
Sunghoon stirs, nose scrunching as he snores softly into the quiet of a winter morning. His chest rises and falls steadily under your head and he doesn’t move when you sit up. The lamp on his desk is still on — neither of you could be bothered getting up to turn it off last night — and under its dim glow, you admire him. Perfect lips gently curved—long lashes kissing the skin under his eyes. 
Love hits you from all angles, warmth all over from head to toe despite the chill in Sunghoon’s room. You can’t help but grin, leaning up to nose along the underside of his chin, his natural scent so soft yet dizzying as you nuzzle into him. He stirs again, turning his head this way and that before resting, you feel a bit bad, deciding to leave him be and text his mum back. 
you: hi mum !!! missing you sooooooo much :((( will be home asap
mama park: BTW Sunghoon told me everything. I raised such good actors LOL make sure he looks after you and keeps you happy!
you: i’m so sorry we lied to you..
you: but i’m really happy with him and he loves me a lot
you: i love him so much .. never been so sure of anyone in my life
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© zreamy (2023), all rights reserved. do not repost, translate, or plagiarise my work. do let my know your thoughts !
permanent taglist: @asahicore
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awearywritersworld · 8 months
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"took you long enough"
gojo satoru x reader summary: when you ask your best friend to meet the guy you've been seeing, things don't go quite as planned. w/c: 3.2k tags/warnings: angst to smut with a fluffy ending. 18+. friends to lovers. jealous gojo. curse words. drinking. gojo shoves ur love interest. he's just kind of an ass to him in general. fem!reader. no use of y/n. a/n: i don't often write smut, but i kinda got carried away.. carpe diem, i say masterlist
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gojo is tired of hearing you ramble on about the new guy you've been seeing. he barely even glances at your phone screen when you try to show him a picture you took together.
"you're way out of his league," he states dryly.
"hardly," you scoff. "men don't exactly line up for me like women do for you."
it'd be a lie to claim you didn't have a thing for gojo at one point, but you learned a long time ago that he isn't interested in you that way. it wasn't hard to tell, given his parade of hookups and the occasional two week relationship. you've gotten over it though... for the most part, anyway.
he rolls his eyes. "i assure you that's only because you're shy, princess."
"okay, so you should be rejoicing that your best friend finally landed herself a boyfriend—"
"boyfriend?"
"well.. it's not official yet, but i think he's going to ask me soon!"
your apparent enthusiasm at the prospect leaves a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. of course, it's only because he wants the best for you and this guy certainly isn't it. "you've gone on like two dates."
"'toru, i've been seeing him for almost a month!" when he doesn't respond, you continue speaking. "so... that's why i was sort of hoping you'd come out with us tonight."
he looks at you increduously, "i am not third wheeling."
"you won't be!" you assure. "shoko and kento said they'd come. i just want you to meet him because you're really important to me and i actually think this could go somewhere—"
"alright, alright," he acquiesces, albeit begrudgingly. he's never been able to say no to you.
you squeal with excitement, throwing your arms around his neck in a brief hug. "i can't wait! we're all meeting at seven, i'll text you the address."
after a quick kiss to his cheek, you gather your things, all but running out the door. you weren't going to give him a chance to change his mind.
he stares after you wordlessly, running a hand through his hair while an unfamiliar tightness overcomes his chest.
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when gojo enters the bar, he spots you right away despite the sizable crowd. as he makes his way toward your group, he can't help but notice how pretty you look in your little dress. in fact, you'd look absolutely perfect if it weren't for the fact you have another man's arm around your waist.
wait, what?
your laugh rings out across the room and judging by the smirk on shoko's face, he can tell she's said something you find unreasonably funny. once you spot him, your face lights up and you pull away from your almost boyfriend to give gojo a hug, something that brings him a sense of satisfaction.
"hey, sweetheart," he greets loud enough that the other man can hear. "who's this?"
"satoru, this is shinya!" you're beaming at him expectantly, so gojo has no choice but to extend his hand.
"hey, man." shinya shakes it firmly. "it's great to meet you. my girl's told me a lot about you."
gojo's eye twitches and he decides almost immediately that he finds shinya utterly insufferable. his voice is grating and he's too short and didn't you say you prefer guys with lighter hair—
"nice to meet you, too," gojo responds cooly. "i'm always happy to meet one of her friends."
nanami and shoko share a knowing look, more than prepared to break out their hypothetical popcorn. and boy, is this as good an occasion as any.
the strongest sorcerer isn't one to indulge in liquor, but how can he refrain when he has to be in the same room as shinya? each time he touches you, looks in your direction, calls you some sickening pet name— whenever he breathes in your general vicinity, really— gojo brings his drink up to his lips.
everyone else seems to be getting along, but unfortunately, he grows increasingly snarky with each glass he empties.
shinya asks what you'd like when he goes up for another round and it's 'oh, you don't know her favorite drink? well, i guess you're not as close as we are.'
shinya pulls your chair out for you and it's 'wow, you really got yourself a gentleman, princess.'
shinya mentions that he's fairly well versed in martial arts and it's 'really? maybe we should go out back and spar. i think it'd be fun.'
nanami steps in then, not entirely convinced gojo would hesitate before laying him out. "you can put the measuring tape away, idiot."
shinya is being an impressively good sport, but your anxiety has you emptying glasses in a hasty manner, too. you have no idea what's going on with gojo. you understand that he can be abrasive at times and that communication definitely isn't his strong suit, but his behavior is just absurd. you force an awkward laugh at nanami's comment.
"not that i'm not having, um, a great time and all!" you hiccup before continuing. "but i'd really like to dance. c'mon shinya!"
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nanami and shoko wind up joining you both, which comes as a surprise. neither of them are exactly the partying type (not that you are either), but you're happy to see them having fun. honestly, you can't remember the last time either of them let loose.
you wonder if they also just wanted to escape gojo's snide remarks. now that they aren't ringing in your ear every other minute, your nerves have certainly calmed down a bit. well, until—
"so you do know that he's totally in love with you, right?"
"who?" you question, looking around as if it'd be obvious.
and it is, just not to you.
shinya chuckles. "gojo."
"what?" you bellow, completely dumfounded. "no way! i mean he's not— and i'm not— we're just friends."
"yeah?" he still sounds amused, nodding in gojo's direction. "is that why he looks like that?"
turning toward your table, even you have to admit he looks completely miserable. unbeknownst to you, he's spent the last half hour sending away every woman that approaches him asking to dance. he just isn't in the mood right now. at least, that's what he tells himself.
"er.. he just doesn't get out that much," you try your best to brush it off.
"whatever you say, baby."
you're relieved he doesn't seem terribly bothered by the idea, even if you find it completely implausible. it's true you spend a lot of time together and that you know one another like the back of your hands, but you'd given up any hope of it being more than friendship a long time ago. you'd moved on.
but if that's the case, why did shinya calling you baby suddenly feel so wrong? you convince yourself it must just be the alcohol.
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when the four of you finally stumble back to the table, you realize you've missed last call. though it's probably for the best, as the five of you are certainly in for a nasty hangover the following morning.
it's near closing time, but the crowd has hardly thinned out and the music is still beating loudly in your ears. you're going back to jujutsu tech with your friends rather than home with shinya, so you loudly exchange goodbyes over the music as he gets ready to leave.
"i had a really great time tonight," he tells you. "maybe we could go for dinner tomorrow? there's something i've been wanting to ask you."
"okay!" you agree eagerly, eyes shining. "i'll call you in the morning."
gojo feels his stomach drop, his jaw clenching bitterly. he tries to tell himself to relax because this is what you want, but he just can't seem to get his thoughts straight.
shinya leans down, his lips meeting yours sweetly, and it causes white hot anger to flood gojo's body. it all happens so fast, shinya's ripped away from you with astounding force and he staggers backward. you've been struggling to hear over the noise all night, though you make out each word that follows with striking clarity.
"get the fuck away from her!"
gojo stalks off before anyone has time to process what just happened. he's already half way across the room when you come to your senses.
"'toru!" you call out, taking a step in his direction when he doesn't respond. "satoru!"
you take another step but you're stopped when something pulls you back. you look down to find shinya's hand wrapped around your wrist before your gaze turns up to meet his eye. "look, i really like you, but if you go after him, don't bother calling tomorrow."
the ultimatum is simple, but so is your decision. "i'm sorry."
you run off before he can say anything else, shoving your way through the bar patrons, and follow gojo out the door into the cold air of night.
"satoru!" you shout once more, thankful that his pace is slow enough for you to catch up. he turns to face you when you tug on his sleeve.
you nearly shy away from him, his expression something fierce, but the liquor in your system gives you courage. "what the hell was that? you embarrassed me—"
"i don't fucking care," he spits.
he's never taken such a tone with you, so you throw your hands in the air and exhale impatiently. "what do you mean? you should care! you're my friend, aren't you?"
"that's exactly what i mean. you're supposed to be mine," he growls.
you're not sure how it happens, but the next thing you know, his lips are crashing into yours, your teeth knocking together with the force. his hands paw at your hips, pulling your body against his greedily.
"i can't believe," he mumbles against your lips, "you wasted your time," his hands find your hair, tugging your head back and revealing your neck, "with that fucking loser."
once he's finished speaking, his lips trail across your jaw, landing just below your ear. your eyes flutter open and you're suddenly very aware that you're standing in the middle of a public sidewalk.
"'toru," your voice is breathy, even though you're trying desperately to keep it together. "there are people—"
he pulls away heatedly, his eyes narrowed. "you didn't care when he kissed you in front of everyone."
"yeah, but that was just a peck," you reason, though if he keeps this up, you're worried you might lose your resolve.
"tch, i guess you're right." the familiar sensation of warping through space and time sweeps through your body for a few seconds before your feet meet solid ground again. you don't need to look around to know you're in his bedroom. "we're going to do a lot more than that tonight."
your stomach flips at his words, heat rushing to your core. his lips find your neck once more, leaving sloppy kisses along your skin. "that's what you want right? for me to show you who you belong to?"
you nod weakly, feeling as if you're in a daze.
"ah, ah. use your words, sweetheart."
"yes— ah—" he sucks on the spot just above your collarbone before nipping the delicate skin there. "yes, 'toru."
"then get on the bed," he orders lowly.
and who are you to disobey? you can't honestly say you haven't been dreaming of this for years. his blanket feels cool to the touch, making you realize suddenly how much your skin is already burning with desire.
he kneels beside the bed, wasting no time before pushing up your dress and pulling your legs apart. you see his shoulders fall as he exhales harshly at the sight. his eyes flutter shut when he presses a kiss to your core over the tiny cotton panties you decided to wear.
he's rudely reminded of the possibility that you may have put them on with another man in mind.
"did you let him fuck you?" he interrogates. his eyes don't leave yours as he begins placing open mouthed kisses on the inside of your thigh.
"n-no!" it's almost embarrassing how vehemently you deny it, but the man between your legs takes great pleasure in your response.
"mm, knew you were a good girl."
he hooks a finger beneath your panties, pulling them down excruciatingly slow. you buck your hips up once he throws them off to the side.
"feeling eager, princess?" he taunts, his breath fanning across your center.
you nod, your legs shaking with anticipation, before remembering what he said about using your words. "please, 'toru. need you so bad."
he can't possibly deny you, not when you beg for him so sweetly. he presses a soft kiss to your swollen bud before flattening his tongue against it, drawing circles there. he groans when your slickness coat his chin.
you whine when his eyes shift up to meet yours and push yourself against him even further. he chuckles against your skin, but truth be told, he's just as eager as you are. he slips one long finger inside of you, relishing in how easily you take it.
"oh—" you cry out as he adds another finger, his tongue pressing against you just a little harder.
his other hand is gripping your thigh roughly, the flesh spilling between his fingers. one of your arms is supporting your weight, but the other reaches out, your fingers threading through his hair.
you're panting now, tugging on his white locks in pleasure. he moans in response and the way your walls are clenching around him lets him know you're close. "c'mon baby, cum for me."
that's all it takes for you to unravel, his name falling from your lips over and over. he doesn't stop until he's sure you've come down from your high.
"you tasted so perfect," he tells you, unbuckling his pants in a hurry and shoving them down his legs.
his shirt and boxers follow quickly thereafter, so you pull your dress over your head. you can't tear your eyes away from his cock, it's long and thick and pretty.
he pushes you back against the bed and crawls on top of you, but then he just stares down at your face. just as you begin to wonder if something is wrong—
"you're so fucking beautiful. have i ever told you that?"
your mind reels for an answer, but you don't have to worry about it for long, as his lips capture yours. you can taste yourself on his tongue
"tell me what you want," he murmurs against your lips as he moves his cock along your slit, coating himself in your wetness.
"need you, 'toru. p-please, i need you to fuck me."
he smiles against your lips as he lines himself up with your entrance, pushing inside slowly. he leans back to find that your eyes are screwed shut and your lips are parted in bliss. he's determine to seer the image into his mind forever.
splitting you open is absolute ecstasy, the noises he's making are proof enough of that. "fuck, princess. fuck."
he nearly whimpers when he bottoms out. "god, you feel so perfect. i could stay in this pussy forever."
your legs wrap around his waist once he begins to pump in and out. "never felt so full, 'toru. it feels s'good."
he shudders at your words and laces his fingers with yours, sweat beading on his forehead as he picks up his pace. his head dips down, his teeth nipping the skin of your neck aggressively.
"p-people are gonna see—"
"i want them to," he rumbles. "want everyone to know how good i made this tight little pussy feel."
you can't argue with him, not when this is the best anyone's ever made you feel. his head shifts even lower, his tongue moving along your nipples in a way that has your back arching off the bed.
he uses the opportunity to snake an arm beneath your lower back, holding your body against himself firmly. the new angle has you mewling his name in the most sinful way.
"you're takin' me so well. like you were made for this cock."
your head's lolling to the side as you fall to pieces beneath him and he can feel himself getting close. "look at me when i fuck you, baby."
you do as he asks, his hips stuttering when he sees the tears of pleasure swimming in your eyes. "you're mine, aren't you? tell me you're mine."
your pussy clenches around his cock so tight it's almost painful. "i'm yours, 'toru. all yours."
"fuck, that's my good girl. gonna cum for me again, hm?"
you nod up at him meekly, too far gone for words, but he doesn't seem to mind this time.
"'i'm close too, sweetheart." his fingers reach down to rub circles on your clit, eliciting a throaty moan from you.
you feel your stomach tighten and you're nearly there, but you don't go over the edge until he begs, "can i fill you up? want to so bad."
you can't find the strength to respond, so you hope the way you tighten your legs around his waist and claw at his back is answer enough.
your head rolls to the side once more, your vision going fuzzy around the edges. he grips your chin between his thumb and forefinger, turning you to face him. "please, baby. wanna see you when i cum—"
he hums your name through a choked moan, his thrusts becoming sloppy as he reaches his own high. he collapses on top of you, laying there for a moment before pulling out and rolling onto his back beside you.
no words are shared, both of you trying to catch your breath and slow your heart rate. the silence gives your mind a chance to wander, which is never a good thing.
you consider the fact that gojo's never kept a girl around for more than a week or two— that this probably meant way more to you than it did to him. you sit up feeling stupid and wrap your arms around your chest.
you look around the room in search of your panties, his cum running down your thighs when you stand up to grab them. it's not until you pull them up your legs that he opens his eyes. he props himself up on his elbow, furrowing his eyebrows when you pick up your dress.
"what are you doing?" he asks curiously.
"well, i figured i should go back to my room—"
"what, are you crazy?" he gawks at you. "get your ass back in this bed."
you approach him shyly, your apprehension clear to him. "i mean, you can if you want, but why would you go back to your room?"
"i just didn't know if you... you know.."
"no, i don't know." if you knew him any less, you might think he was intent on torturing you, but it's clear to you that he's genuinely confused.
you sigh. "i just didn't know what this meant for us."
"baby, i didn't think i could make it any more clear." he sits up to grab you by the wrist, tugging you onto his lap and wrapping his arms around your waist. "i'm all yours, so you're stuck with me." he tries to mask the nervousness in his voice when he asks, "is that okay with you?"
you nod, hiding your face in his neck. "took you long enough."
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tsukishimakeiswife · 3 months
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nsfw below !
just gojo satoru dragging you to the closest restroom after you get a little too handsy with his best friend geto. or was it the other way around? he doesn't care, and neither do you right now. he practically throws you onto the counter while you try not to fall into the sink with a little yelp.
not a word leaves his mouth as he pulls your lace panties and shoves his pretty cock in your perfect cunt, always so wet for him.
"satoru,-shit- please. we were just talki-" your words are cut off by two long, slender fingers being shoved harshly in your mouth. his pace only gets faster- harder as every second passes. not once does he look away from you, making sure you do the same too.
"this is what you wanted- fuck, yeah? to be stuffed like you deserve. well, i'll make sure of it. i'll see how you're able to walk to him after i'm done with you." shivers run down your spine as you held yourself up, seeking help from the mirror behind you for support as he rammed into you without a care- two fingers in your mouth and two on your clit, fucking you in the way you oh-so loved.
your choked cries and 'slow down's reached gojo perfectly, he understood every single word. but all he did was smirk, as you crumbled underneath him.
he could tell you were close from the way you tightened around him, always so perfect for him. he'd carved your insides to make sure no one could ever please you in the way he does. "close already? my poor baby needs to cum, hm?" he mocked you with that sinister look on his face. he was right. tears welled up in your eyes as you tried to let out a little 'please' before he thrusted into you harder than ever.
but why would he let you win? he's gojo satoru after all. all his movements stopped making you blink your tears away. 'no, how could he?' was all you could think of. the two of you were inches away from each other, bodies still pressed against each other's, but devoid of the pleasure you had moments ago. he took his fingers out of your mouth with a pop before proceeding to put them in his, licking them clean of your saliva.
"no- i'm sorry. please let me cum, i promise i'll be good. please, satoru" you held onto his shirt, tugging it and rocking your hips, hoping for something- anything. you drove him crazy. he was gojo satoru. but because of you, he hesitated. he wanted to give you the pleasure you wanted so good. you sat there so prettily in front of him. wet lips and fucked out face. only he could see you like this, he was gonna make sure of that.
"aww, but my girl looks so pretty when she's flustered," he says, as he wipes off the saliva on ur lips and walks away. he grabbed your panties before shoving them into his pocket.
"we're leaving. gotta finish off what you started here."
a/n- this is my first smut pls i hate it
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poge-life · 24 days
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heyy!! Love ur writing. Can you do a drew fic where they secretly like each other and during interviews, another cast member is flirting with the reader, and Drew gets jealous. This could be smutty, I guess, but write whatever you're comfortable with.
It was easier said than done. Being in a secret relationship with someone. You and Drew had been dating for over a year but kept it a secret just because you both knew how the media and your fans would tear you both apart. Some days were easier than most; the rumors that started about Drew and Odessa caused a major blow out between you two. You gave him an out, to be with someone he could be with in public but he quickly shut that down.
The group had been swamped with back to back interviews; they were all very entertaining and there was never any dull moment with your friends. You guys were doing an interview for Buzzfeed and you were sat in the front with Austin, Maddy, Cleo and Rudy, with Chase, Madison, JD, and Drew behind you guys.
Drew clenched his jaw as he watched you laugh at whatever Austin had said. He knew he was being ridiculous. That he had nothing to be jealous of but he couldn’t help it. How else was he supposed to interact when he knew everyone was going to try and make it seem like his girlfriend was dating one of his best friends?
“Who have you guys bonded most with this season?” The interviewer asked as you all looked around at each other, “I think we’ve all bonded with each other this season. This season was a lot darker than the rest so we all just kind of talked each other through everything.”
“I think I’ve bonded with Austin more this season,” You answered, looking over at the boy, who agreed, “Definitely. I think Topper and Avery both are slowly starting to realize how deep they’re in with Rafe and Sarah, so we had a lot more scenes together.”
“I think I had more scenes with you than I did with Drew.” You pointed out, looking back at him and boy, did he look pissed. You tilted your head at him, your way of asking if he was okay. Drew just nodded his head once at you before turning to look at the interviewer. You stared at him for a couple more seconds before turning back to face the front.
“Wanna tell me what’s been up your ass this whole time?” You asked as you walked in behind Drew into your shared apartment. He had been quiet the whole car ride home, which wasn’t unusual but he kept his hand on the gear shift. Which was unusual because his hand was always on your leg when he drove.
“I’m fine.” He shrugged, kicking his shoes off before walking into the kitchen. You narrowed your eyes at him before kicking off your shoes and following after him. You leaned against the Island, watching him all but down a can of beer. His jaw was clenched as he glanced over at you before leaning on the opposite counter, “What’s going on with you and Austin?”
You thought you gave yourself whiplash looking over him. That’s what this was about? You and Austin? You let out a dry laugh, shaking your head at him, “Seriously? That’s what this is about?”
“Well, is there?” He asked, walking over to you. He stopped just a few inches away from you, causing you to look up at him. His eyes were dark, pupils were blown, “C’mon, baby. Does he make you feel as good as I do?”
You couldn’t help but clench your legs at his words. Drew knew exactly how to turn you into putty in his hands. You shook your head, going to protest but Drew brought his hand up to your neck, tilting your head up, “I know just how you can make it up to me.”
A/N
Please feel free to let me know if you guys want me to continue this fic!!
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suguruplsr · 7 months
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One of the girls
featuring.. Geto Suguru
✰ ✰ ✰ We’ve all seen the edits. And we all love a good friends with benefits romance.. so what happens when you two end up meeting at a party after not talking for a while? But.. maybe Suguru doesn’t want to beat around the bush anymore.
,, x fem!reader , fwb/hook up , party , kitchen sex , public ? sex , unprotected (he pulls out) , cum play + eating , fingering , jerking off , dirty talk , he cums on ur pussy <33
↬ 1K Event Masterlist
wc: 3k+
- divider @/benkeibear
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The beaming lights that flicker throughout large living room seem to glow perfectly on one person.
red and blue colors glow and gleam on your skin as you sway with a man, your hands on his shoulders. a man suguru almost wishes he was. despite having someone sitting in front of him on the couch. yea she’s.. okay looking. did he plan on leaving with her? hell no. especially after seeing you, someone he’s fucked around with a few times over the past year or so. maybe he’d be the one dancing with you if you weren’t avoiding him outside of your shared sex life.
but maybe that’s why suguru’s so attached.
he’s seen glimpses of how you are as a person. he knows when you’re lying about having to leave him in the morning, and he knows when you’re telling the truth, always pacing around the room and finding your clothes quickly. he’s seen the messages you’d get from your siblings or friends, having funny conversations on the phone as he’s undressing you. despite being pretty active during the night, you seem to have an interesting life he so desperately wants to be a part of.
suguru almost has the thought to stand up and leave the person on his side, his eyes glance down at the blabbering woman, “get up.” that definitely wasn’t the best choice of words, considering how her face had confusion crossed all over it. she leans closer, hands on his chest with a pout tugging her lips. “what do y—“ “i said get up.” and she does, grabbing her things and uncomfortably walking off, muttering a few curses under breath as she disappears between the dancing bodies.
suguru’s face scrunches up in disgust at the smell of her lingering perfume, a cheap lilac smell, way too strong for his senses. unlike the rich perfume you usually wore, a smell that makes him stay in bed after you’re out of it and gone within records time. at least he’d have something to remember you by, even if he’s going to wash his sheets a few days later.
his eyes search back through the crowd, already finding the familiar sight of you. and he’s disgusted, even if he’s done worst, but the way the man had his tongue down your throat was so wrong. you don’t even like it, how the man is rushing through everything, suguru can tell from the subtle roll of your eyes, or how you adjust his hands as a sign for him to not get too ahead of himself.
suguru knows he’d do it right, a hand tilting your chin, or maybe on your waist and slowly guiding you to a more secluded area, whispering things in your ear that would make that cute smile form on your face. how your eyes would flicker to him in excitement. you’re a woman suguru deems as to know what you want, more dominant and forward about how you pursue someone.
but he knows just how to make you fall into his hold and allow him to take care of you, becoming more submissive and pliable. but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t like it when you have your little attitudes or get more demanding. if anything, he welcomes it. on those days, he gets to keep you for a little while longer because of that pride you have. but he never edges you on, letting you be a bit mean to him as he adores you, and maybe checking you a few times. at least until you're slipping away from him, thanking him for the breakfast with kisses all over his face.
suguru ends his small daydream, sighing to himself as he gets up and makes his way over to you. “could you please get a room?” he greets the guy with a small scowl, noticing in the corner of his eye how you stare up at him, eyes not leaving his face even when the random guy is asking if you’ll go with him to his car. the poor guy doesn’t even know that you don’t like getting in other people’s cars, especially on the first, and usually, last, night you meet them. at least suguru is an exception.
“uh, no, i’m good, im just gonna go get a drink..” you almost stammer your words, slightly pushing the guy away and heading towards the door that led to the kitchen. yet, the way you looked back at suguru let him know what you really wanted. he pats the guys back with a smug smile, “my bad man.” there was a sly undertone to suguru’s voice, gripping his shoulder a bit tightly before pulling away and following after you.
“do you stalk me?” you question suguru as he closes the door, a small smile playing on your lips as you put down the bottle of wine you found in a cabinet. he watches you take a sip, the red purplish liquid leaving a stain on your lip as you leave one of lip gloss on the glass in return. “no not really. you just so happen to be everywhere i am. maybe it’s a sign?” he shrugs, walking closer.
you scoff, putting down your cup and licking your lips as his arms find themselves perfectly around your waist, “oh? a sign of what?” you giggle, dusting off his collar and looking up at him with those pretty eyes, all doey and full of wonder within them. but he can see it, the tiny squint, as if you know what he plans on doing to you. and it always happens, every single time.
“hm, i dunno. that we’re meant to be..? or that you shouldn’t waste your time with people like him?” suguru’s gently pushes you against the wall, his larger figure towering over you and his hands find your waist. it was intimate, his breath ghosting your skin as he leans down. he takes in the scent of your perfume, lips brushing your jaw, your eyes examine the glint in his, they were low and filled with desire while he takes in the sight of of you.
“you wish i spent more time with people like you huh?” your breathy joke makes suguru purse his lips. you were right and didn’t even know it. “sure. but unfortunately for you.. there’s only one of me..” his words make your breath hitch, heart fluttering as he kisses down your neck. maybe you were just sensitive? you weren’t sure, but his demeanor felt so domineering, like each kiss was a promise of something you’re oblivious too.
“well, have you ever met someone like me? i don’t think you have.” and you’re damn right. suguru has to bite back the urge to rant all about how correct you are. no one leaves suguru as desperate as you have, longing for you in more ways then one. “if i did, would i really be here?” his chuckle vibrates against your chest, the warmth of his lips leaving to pull away and gaze at the loose dress you wore.
the long sleeves remind him of the times you’d try to wear his clothes, trying on a few cardigans that clearly would never fit you. the dress had a long v-neck that gave a delicious sight of your plump breasts, leaving little for an imagination suguru wouldn’t need tonight, and every tomorrow, he hopes. and it definitely didn’t help that the fabric was pretty short, low enough for your thighs to stick out. he thinks it’s his favorite look on you now.
“i guess you do have a point..” you whisper, a hand reaching up and tilting his head down. then finally, you pull him into a deep kiss. but suguru won’t let you get away from him, not now. he pushes further, a hand pining the wall beside your head as his body covers you like a blanket. your lips mesh perfectly, with small pauses of heavy breaths, and you two eagerly move the clothing in your way.
your hands unbutton his shirt quickly, almost ripping it as he pulls up your dress, hands feeling your curves and running up to your breasts. “gonna fuck me in here? thought you had a bit more class suguru~” you gasp against his lips, holding onto him tightly when he lifts you onto the counter, knocking the glass of wine into the sink. his hands undo the straps of your flats, placing them off to the side before chasing after your lips again.
“yea? maybe you make me forget about all of that..” he mutters against your lips as your legs lock around him. your nails scratch along his chest as you feel his defined muscles, making sure to dangerously drag the tips of them around his low v-line, and he’s twitching in his pants. “is that a good thing?” you tease, grinning as he holds you still, shamelessly rubbing his erections against your thigh with groans that vibrate in your ear.
“kinda, until.. f-fuck.. until someone’s walking in. can’t let em’ see ya. y’r only for me.” usually, when people say things like that to you, it’d feel like a turn off. you two were just flings right? but maybe tonight you’ll let it slide. because even you can’t argue against the way his words made your pussy throb. “oh yea? put your money where your mouth is.” you grin, fiddling with his belt buckle.
suguru’s eyes darken, hands finding your wrists and helping you undo the belt. he feels hot all over, hair sticking to his skin sexily as he watches how your pretty little fingers get rid of the annoying accessory. “don’t start complainin’ if i don’t stop when someone comes in..” he smiles as you snap the band of his underwear playfully. before you can admire the leaking cock against your thigh, his fingers are sneaking and pulling down the fabric of your panties, dropping it in the pile of clothes on the floor.
your head almost hits the cabinet when he inserts a finger into your heat, and you lean back, spreading your legs on the cool counter as he curls his finger into your gummy walls. “i won’t. promise. i dont want you to stop..” your voice breaks into a small whine as his gaze locks onto yours. why did he have to look so intimidating, his bangs falling and covering his eyes with a few stray strands framing his face.
“is that it sweet girl? c’mon, say it again f’me and i’ll make you cum.” he makes your stomach twists from the sultry tone of his voice, coaxing moans out of you as he picks up the pace, finger thrusting in and out of you. you roll your hips up as he presses your g-spot, causing your thighs to shake as you spew out mewls, trying to form words with your shaky breaths.
“said i— um, shit, d-don’t want you to stop. please don’t stop sugu!” you cry out, lips quivering as he graces you with another finger inside you. the thick finger stretches your walls just right, filling you up and dragging out your orgasm quickly. you cover your mouth to muffle the murmurs suguru wishes he could hear as he helps you ride out your orgasm. your body shudders with each press of the pads of his fingers.
and suguru’s dark eyes don’t leave you, stuck on the way your body glistens with a sheen of sweat. he can barely even hear the low rnb music playing in the room over, or the sounds of people singing along. he’s just stuck on the sweet noises leaving your lips that he doesn’t even realize that he’s overstimulating you until your teary eyes look up at him with a small sob escaping your pouty lips.
so adorable.
he finally pulls his fingers out, your juices were already coating your thighs, but the strings of cum that stuck to his fingers looked even better. he smears his wet fingers around your bud, careful to not stimulate you any further as his two fingers drag and press the plump of your pussy, watching as cum trickles out onto the surface.
“s-stop playing suguuu, makin’ me too sensitive..” you tuck those pretty lips out with a cute little sniffle, but your hips still chase his fingers as he pulls them up to his mouth and sucks them dry. his eyes close as he takes in the tases of your cum and juices mixed together. something he could never get tired of.
he pulls away with a small ‘pop!’ sound, “never heard of that baby. but the more the better right?” he chuckles, moving closer between your thighs as you grumble under your breath. as he brushes the tip of cock in your folds, both of you hum at the feeling of it, little noises of slick mushing around before he slides in.
“want you to feel me baby. don’t close those eyes, need ta’ see that cute expression of yours.” he chuckles as you’re reduced to murmurs of his name, nails clawing his chest as his cock is pushed into the hilt. your pussy clenched around him, as if trying to suck him, impossibly, further in. “s’a lot suguru, f-feel so..” “full?” suguru chuckles, voice raspy and slightly breaking as he wraps a hand around you to make your pelvis meet.
“y-yea gonna cum already..” you gasp out, almost embarrassed by how you’re just putty in his hands. it always happens, every single time. “yea baby? do it. cum alllll over my cock. gonna keep ya plugged up with it and watch it flow when i pull out.” suguru’s nasty words make you whimper, gripping his biceps as he rolls hips to pump you full of his fat cock.
he places his hands onto the counter as you cling yourself onto him like a koala, arms wrapped around his neck as you shamelessly moan into his ear. “feels so gooood sugu.” you whine, eyes tearing up as he hammers into you with sharp thrusts that make you curl your toes and bite your lip. you can barely even focus on watching the kitchen door just in case it rattles. but hey, it’s not like you two would be able to hide yourselves anyways.
“i know baby, gonna make ya feel e-even better..” his voice his breathy, rumbling in your ear as your thighs shake around him. he bites into your shoulder blades to muffle his groans, his length nearly struggling to brush in n’ out your clammy walls. your head falls limp on his shoulder when he angles to hit your sweet spot, pussy tightening even more as a coil forms in your tummy.
“r-right there su. g’nna cum!” you sob as a particular thrust in you has your orgasm washing over and painting his thick cock white. suguru looks down to where you two meet, slowing his thrusts, and his cock throbs inside you at the sight of your milky cum coating his length, blobs of it spewing out with each small thrust. and it’s all he can hear, little squelching that matches the melodies of your moans.
“did so good f’me sweetie. c’mon let me make your pussy even prettier with my cum, gotta keep it messy for later.” suguru slowly pulls out, and your hole visibly flutters as you reach down with a whine. he stands back to let you grab his wet cock, tip red and leaky, twitching in your smaller hand as you jerk it off in the direction of your folds. making sure to drag your thumb along the vein that always bulge under his cock.
“wan’ you to shoot all over my folds n’ keep my thighs dirty..” you mutter, eyes stuck on the way his muscles tighten and his cock pulses in your hand. you go further down, holding the length in your hand a bit more tighter and dragging from the base up. “fuuuuck, y-yea baby? m’gonna keep that pussy of yours drenched in my cum tonight.” he gives a choked laugh, grinding into your hand and moving his to your thighs, pulling you closer and spreading them wide to shoot his load perfectly onto the gooey mess.
you smile as his hips begin to stutter, cock pulsating in your hand as a long groan escapes him, long ropes of cum landing on your thighs and cunt. it’s warm, beginning to drip down your skin as his cum turns into small spurts coating your hand. suguru tries to catch his breath, a small blush on his cheeks as you lick the cum off your hand with a grin.
“i love your cum..” you hum, being pulled into a deep kiss by him, letting him get a taste of the salty liquid on your tongue. “you can have more later if we hurry up and get out of here before someone sees the mess we made.” he snickers, handing you your panties and beginning to fix himself up. “you really want me today huh?” you tease, hopping off the counter and pulling up the cloth. its comforting, the way his warm cum is tucked all away within your undies.
“yea, m’tired of you always running off..” suguru’s voice lowers with your long silence, fixing up your dress and eyeing him nervously as he buttons up his shirt. you’re not sure why you can’t just tell him off like the other guys, walk away with a promise to never see him again and delete his number. but maybe it’s because you know he’s not like the other guys. he always treats you like you’re not just a fling, but never crossing your boundaries of what you two have.
why can’t he just walk out like others, and not make your heart flutter like some teen girl? “okay.. what do you want me to do?” you whisper, looking away. and you’re just so cute. suguru reaches out, holding your chin up. you weren’t sure if the sex afterglow just made him more attractive than he already is, or the way his hand gently lifted your head up to him, a soft smile on his lips as he tilts his head knowingly.
“you could start by staying the night at my house.. doing something you may like and maybe have a date tomorrow..? and i’d love it if you could stay for breakfast, i know you like those strawberry waffles..” the tender and nervousness in his voice makes a smile of your own form. he wasn’t just pursuing you sexually, he wanted to experience actually dating you and show what he could offer. so, maybe this once, you’ll try to see where this goes.
“i’d love that suguru.”
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remi-thirsts · 2 months
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❝ 𝐈 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍 𝐖𝐄 𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐅𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐊𝐘 𝐎𝐍 𝐂𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐀 ❞
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pairing: r. suna x fem!reader summary: Headcanons abt ur man who loves to record his fav girl ! content: very suggestive, established relationship, (p -> v), oral (f + m receiving), fingering, pet names (baby), cursing, filming (consensual for both parties), teasing (when is suna not teasing?), lmk if I missed anything. (kind of a soft smut release since i'm not confident)
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✧ bf!suna who whips out his phone anytime you wear anything that's tight around your curves.
"Okay Rin, I'm coming out tell me what you think of this dress." He lets out an uninterested hum, because you've been in the store for at least two hours. You need a new dress for your cousin's birthday party.
When you walk out and give him a little twirl he immediately exits whatever game he was playing to pass the time and opens the camera app.
"Holy shit, look at that ass baby. Mmm and those pretty tits."
"Can you focus for like one second?
✧ bf!suna who sends you horny videos throughout the day, because he misses you.
dookie butt 😝💖 [1 video attachment] look what u do to me
you -boyyyy i'm at work rn -but holy fuck... you moan so loud that i had to turn my volume down and i think i got looks from people
dookie butt 😝💖 so.... no titties ?
you ding ding ding ! you win blue balls
dookie butt 😝💖 at least send me some ass 😒
✧ bf!suna has a whole ALBUM on his phone of videos of you two fucking.
✧ bf!suna loves watching that one video where it's so shaky and you can barely tell what's going on, but he knows. He was eating you out so good, he had you back arching off of the bed, and your toes curling. You couldn't even hold the phone properly like he asked you too. Being the meanie he is he continued to harshly suck on your clit and hit your g-spot with his, long, experienced, rough fingers even after you came. You ended up squirting all over his face..
✧ bf!suna LOVES to record his dick bulging in your belly. That's how he knows he's hitting it good.
✧ bf!suna comes up with all these ridiculous scenarios/roleplays that you always seem to agree to do with him. He records ALL of them.
✧ bf!suna saves every single nude you send him, because despite what you say he thinks you're beautiful all day everyday.
✧ bf!suna sends you Twitter links asking if you wanna recreate them. Anytime he watches them he can only think about you and himself.
✧ bf!suna has no shame and will watch your homemade videos even with his friends around.
"Damn, Rin whatever yer watching must be really interestin'!" Atsumu spits sarcasm at the EJP middle blocker.
"Way more interesting than you by a long shot." Suna calmly replies which pisses his friend off even more. The blond snatches Suna's phone. Only to hand it back seconds later with a flushed face, "Gosh yer a pervert, Sunarin, a pervert."
✧ bf!suna is like a photographer when you get a new lingerie set. He'll ask you to make different poses and stand at different angles so he can get "the best possible picture"
✧ bf!suna sends you audios of him moaning because he knows you love it.
dookie butt 😝💖 [1 audio attachment] :3
you RIN. I'M MELTING WTF U SOUND SO HOT
dookie butt 😝💖 u should send something back to show ur appreciation
you 🫡
✧ bf!suna never posts or shares your videos unless you ask him too, and the ones he does share with the internet are the ones where no one can see your faces.
✧ bf!suna all in all loves you and your beauty. Every single video he's recorded is proof of that. When you watch them, you notice the little things, like how he'll prop up a pillow for you, or how he'll quietly ask if it's okay for him to keep going and whatnot. Many would think that he's just horny all the time and doesn't care about you, but he does care. Way more than haters will realize.
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©𝐑𝐄𝐌𝐈-𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓𝐒 All works are written by me! Please do not copy, translate, or upload onto other sites thanks!
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arminsumi · 8 months
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SANCTUARY
💗 GOJO さとる
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warnings : angst, some fluff (?), satoru is such an asshole on the exterior 🥹, not proofread
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the strongest... falling in love with the weakest. he's bullied n teased u about being the weakest, a weakling; "how did they let someone like you into jujutsu tech?"
he's so mean and condescending. he trails alongside u on missions. he asks "hey, bet you missed me" when he intrudes on missions that you very nearly had under control. he watches you from the bleachers as you hopelessly practice martial arts with suguru. he steals your quiz papers when the teacher isn't looking.
but of course... he has ulterior motives. his exterior is just a big act, he's really just a teenager who belongs in the drama club.
he's sticking to ur side during missions to protect ur "stupid weak ass". he's always popping his face into a scene to make sure that curse doesn't escape, cuz otherwise he has to listen to you getting another reprimanding from yaga. satoru's the one who asked suguru to teach you martial arts every day, encouraging his best friend to grill the movements into your brain. and he steals your quiz papers to quickly rub out all the wrong answers you filled in, and correct them so that tomorrow you're met with a baffling A* grade.
he's doing everything he can to keep you from being expelled.
yet he stands in front of you, hands lazing in his pockets, taunting you about being a shorty who can't fight for shit. "you're one of those fucking weaklings i have to protect..." he says bitterly, through gritted teeth... but he doesn't mean it how you interpret it. he's so upset with the world, and how he has to work hard to protect someone who deserves to be born into an idyllic paradise.
when you're making that defeated frown, looking helpless on the floor after losing to a curse, he glares over and yells "what are you doing... get up." and he forces you to get on your feet.
he's confusing, isn't he? how he tells you in the school corridors on hot summer days, "you're too weak to fight for yourself." and then when you're unconscious after encountering a special-grade, he clutches your body protectively and sobs, "are you crazy? why wouldn't you call me... hey, keep your eyes open..." he's furrowing his brows at you, expression angry not because you're weak... but because this world treats frail people terribly and he hates it with all his soul. he doesn't want to see you fighting. he doesn't want to see you practicing jujutsu. he doesn't want you to ever see another curse's morbid face again.
he's determined to turn the world into a sanctuary for you. that's what he puts in his wedding vows to you, when the two of you reach the age of 25. and he doesn't break it, he doesn't falter, he always keeps good pace and drains and exhausts himself in order to mold the shape of the world to fit someone as soft as you.
"i can't believe something as soft as you was given to me from such a hard world."
i'm gonna make it better, baby. i'm gonna build a new world for you. one that doesn't try to hurt us. until i can achieve that goal, i hope my embrace can act as your sanctuary.
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celestie0 · 1 month
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childhood friends to lovers with gojo.
warnings/tags. fluff & angst, sad ending
you two were five when he kisses ur cheek on the playground underneath the slide n you both thought that counted as a first kiss. u two were attached by the hip all throughout elementary school, i mean srs, your parents would even have joint parent teacher conferences bc there was just nothing the two of you wouldn't do together.
and then middle school came around, you joined the marching band n he joined the football team. he starts acting different around you, and it hurts. bc you two were best friends. you were always supposed to be best friends. he starts hanging out w the popular kids, and you find yourself walking home alone. summer before high school, he wants to hang out again, but you tell him you deserve better than that. and you two drift apart.
it's hard starting high school without him, watching him from afar during lunch in the cafeteria. he's with his table of phonies, acting like someone he's not, and you know because you've always known him. better than anyone else. you really wanna join the cheer team, since you've done gymnastics for a long time, but you've always been too afraid to tryout for the team. this time, you do, and you get in. now all of a sudden he wants to talk to you again, now that you're popular in high school and have earned a place on the field during his games. fuck that, you say to him, you threw away what we had just because i wasn't good enough for you to have by your side. you start dating his teammate, you two are nominated for prom queen & king, and he has to watch as you kiss someone else on stage when you win. someone that should've been him. he starts dating the cheer captain, just to show it off when he comes running to her after a winning game, kissing her right in front of you but he's not looking at her, he's looking at you. to make sure you're watching. and you do the same thing to him. and the whole time you two are wondering what are we doing to one another?
summer after high school, he shows up to your doorstep one day on his skateboard. with a box full of all the letters you used to send him as a kid. you still have yours too, somewhere tucked underneath your bed. you spend the whole afternoon laughing with him as you read through them all, laying on the carpet of your living room, and you both feel like kids again. he hovers over you when he kisses you, but you're still mad at him, and to show him how mad you are, you kiss him back. it's no use, you two are going to different colleges, you'll hardly see him, but he swears he'll call. he swears he'll fly to see you. he swears he'll never makes the same mistakes again, because he wants you. and only you. you kiss his cheek, and say okay.
and he does. he does everything he promises you. but the distance is too hard, and he was a little too late. you break up with him over a twenty-one character text sent while you're drunk at a house party your second semester at university, and he just doesn't understand. he'll never understand. and he never sees you again.
until you're both thirty-two, standing in line at the grocery store. he taps your shoulder, you turn around, you wonder if it's a stranger who wants a favor, and you realize he's so much more than that. he's the little boy that kissed your cheek underneath the slide when you were five. your first kiss. except it wasn't, was it? his face is long, and his cheeks have lost plush, but he looks so handsome it makes your heart skip a beat. you two are pleasant, exchanging it's been so long! and you look great! but when his eyes catch the twinkle of the wedding ring on your finger, his smile drops ever so slightly, and when he scratches his cheek to hide the sadness, you notice a band on his finger too. and he pays for your groceries, just to be kind. and you thank him for it, just to be kind. and you go your separate ways, never to speak again. but there's a box that still sits somewhere in your closet. and a similar one still sits in his too.
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lovesphases · 1 month
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Could you write something where reader is best friends with Sarah and has had a crush on rafe for a long time. There’s some situation like going on vacation with the Cameron family and John b joins so the reader has to share a bed with rafe. He wakes up at night bc reader is having a wet dream, cuddled up next to/on him, grinding against his thigh. He gets really turned on and starts touching her & she wakes up. Maybe he teases her a bit like asking if she had a good dream, pointing out how wet she got his thigh and then they have sex. Reader is a bit embarrassed and shy about it. - 🧚🏻‍♂️
i love the way your brain works. also sorry i got a bit carried away. pt 2!
MDNI 18+
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going on a yearly vacation with the cameron’s is not something new to you. you’d always share a room with sarah, staying up late the room filled with your giggles and hushed whispers. this time would be different though. sarah’s new boyfriend, john b would be tagging along. the new addition causing sleeping arrangements to be changed.
“what do you mean i have to share a room with rafe?” you stare at sarah, eyes nearly popping out of your head.
“it’ll be fine. rafe can just sleep on the floor!”
“no fucking way! i’m not sleeping in the same room as him!”
“pleaseeee? for me?” she clasps her hands together, giving you that look that makes you crumble everytime.
“jesus christ. fine. just this once. you owe me though.” you huff out. she lets out a loud squeal
“ohmygosh thank you so much! i definitely owe you big time!” you roll your eyes.
“yeah whatever. you’re lucky i love you.”
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"i am not sleeping on the fucking floor" rafe snaps at you. irritated with the situation and ready to go to bed.
"fine i'll go find somewhere else to sleep then." you huff out crossing your arms. you begin to head towards the door when rafe calls out.
"jesus kid. this bed is big enough for the both of us to sleep and keep a good distance away from each other. what do you think m' gonna do?"
"i dunno. maybe suffocate me in my sleep or something." he lets out a laugh, he can't help but find your dramatics funny.
"just get in the fucking bed"
"fine. but keep your hands to yourself. i swear to god" you poke at him
"got it." he raises his hands in defense.
its 3 am when rafe wakes up to you practically laying on top of him, grinding on his thigh. he rubs his eyes, making sure he's awake and that this is really happening. you let out a quiet whimper as your brows furrow together. he stares down at you, a smirk forming on his face.
he allows his fingers to find your core, softly grazing over your cunt. he can feel the fabric that does little to cover you slowly becoming soaked. this pushes him over the edge as he moves ur panties to the side, slowly dragging his fingers through your folds catching on your clit. you let out a moan as your eyes begin to flutter open.
"rafe? what are you doing?"
"what am i doing? you were the one who woke me up, humping my leg like a bitch in heat. you're a cock hungry whore even when you're asleep.” you let out another moan, his fingers still rubbing at your clit.
"if you don't want this then tell me to stop." your hips begin to buck up involuntary. heat rises to your cheeks, thanking god that its dark and he can't see just how embarrassed you are. but with the pressure he's applying to your needy clit all rational thoughts leave your brain. your senses completely filled with rafe.
"rafe. please just fuck me. need it so bad." you let out a desperate whine, his teasing increasing your arousal, though still not enough.
"yeah that's what i thought." he shoves two thick fingers inside of you without any warning. causing you to take a sharp breath in. his fingers massage that spongy part that makes your head fuzzy and your eyes roll back. the band in your tummy tightening with each stroke of his fingers.
"you gonna cum?" you nod your head vigorously as you feel yourself getting closer to the edge.
"yeah? what happened to you wanting me to keep my hands to myself? over here makin' a mess all over my fingers."
"please rafe im so close. can i please cum? i need it" tears gather at your waterline. the burning in your stomach almost too much to handle.
"fuck. go ahead. cum for me baby. make a fucking mess." his words cause the band to snap, your orgasm washing over you soaking his hand and the sheets.
"good girl. that's it. let me have it." he helps you ride out your high before pulling his fingers out of your cunt. he brings his fingers to your mouth.
"gotta clean up the mess you made. yeah?"
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luvyeni · 3 months
Text
𐙚 : NOT JUST FRIENDS BUT NOT TOGETHER W/RIIZE (reaction) ֶָ֢ !
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request: can u do the “not together but not just friends” for nct dream and riize if you get a chance ?love ur writing btw🫶🏻🫶🏻😽
authors note. i hope you like it.
MINORS DO NOT INTERACT
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𐙚 : SHOTARO ֶָ֢ !
it was normal to you and shotaro , for you to sit in between his legs or on his lap with his arm low on your hip , rest his chin on your shoulder blade — it didn't matter where you were , he was gonna do it; and he was gonna do it with a smile on his face. you two were always like this , so it confused you eunseok brought it , because to you and him it was fine. "are you two dating or what?" he asked. "why do you ask that?" you felt shotaros fingers dance along your skin. "because you're practically living in each other's skin , there's no way you two are just friends." he said , shotaro just laughed watching you get flustered by the question. "we-we're just friends." eunseok wasn't buying — there was no way you two were just friends. "whatever you say , i think it's bullshit." he said , walking out of the practice room , leaving you both alone. "you know he's right." shotaro finally spoke up. "right about what?" you felt his hands reach lower on your waist his fingers inching into your pants. "it's bullshit." his voice much deeper. "what is?"
"us just being friends , i know you know how much i want you."
𐙚 : EUNSEOK ֶָ֢ !
having his card and using his money money came easy to you ,one day you asked for him to order you something and instead of buying it— he sent his card numbers and told you to just spend what you wanted. that was the first time , so you just spent that — but then you told him you were going out with a friend to the mall , and he randomly handed you his card , and ever since then he bought and paid for everything. "are you two in like a sugar daddy sugar baby relationship?" sungchan randomly asked. "what are you talking about?" eunseok said , handing you his card. "thank you." you smiled. "every week she comes and you just hand her you card , and you don't seem to be dating , so 1. you're hiding your relationship or 2. you're her sugar daddy and fucking." he said. "i didn't even think about that." you said. "you wanna date?" he nodded. "sure." sungchan was baffled. "what just happened."
"we're dating , gonna fuck her after she's done spending my money."
𐙚 : SUNGCHAN ֶָ֢ !
sungchan definitely believes you're more than friends , especially when he constantly has his finger deep in your cunt whenever your heart so pleases —other guys unable to please you , but your best friend knew you like the back of his hands , so who was he to deny you when it was you asking. "feeling good bubs?" he hovered over your body , fingers curled , snug in your pussy." gonna cum for me?" you nodded. "please." he gave you the go , fingering you to completion. "feeling better?" you nodded. "you'll definitely make a girl happy one day." how could you say something like that after he literally just gave you a soul shattering orgasm. his frustrations finally catching up to him , pushing you back down on your back. "chan!" you exclaimed. "baby cut the shit." he said. "what are you talking about?" he smirked. "we both know a friend wouldn't just finger you if he didn't have feelings for you."
"so cut the shit , we may not be dating, but we damn sure arent friends."
𐙚 : WONBIN ֶָ֢ !
wonbin knows how flirty and touchy you could be , because he would flirt and touch back. and not to mention you had unintentional fuck me eyes that drove him up the wall — but he couldn't do anything but sit by and tell everyone that you were just friends and you were just joking around with each other. "wonie." you whined as you followed him around your apartment after the outing , he was ignoring you. "why are you ignore me." you pouted. "wonieeeee." you grabbed his arm , whining even louder— and he snapped , grabbing your arms , pushing you against the wall. "you know , you're really pretty , but so dumb." he said. "wh-what a-are you talking?" you were flustered with how close he was. "telling people we're just friends." he scoffed.
"baby , i feel the way you shiver when i touch your pretty body , even you don't believe that."
𐙚 : SEUNGHAN ֶָ֢ !
as your best friend seunghan felt like it was his duty to do everything for you — show you how a real man should treat a great girl like you — which is why he took it upon himself to take you on a "date" , even if he was busy, he would still make time for your weekly date. "maybe we shouldn't go out this week seunghan." you said over the phone, this came as a surprise to him , cause your eyes always lit on date nights. "why?" he asked concerned. "are you sick?" he asked. "no, it's stupid , but let's just cancel it for tonight." he didn't want to end it like this. "nothing you say is stupid so tell me." he heard you sighed. "well because we do these things every week , and then you tell people we're just friends and it hurts my heart." he heard your voice trembling. "i don't want my heart broken anymore." he couldn't believe it , he let you go too long thinking like this. "well then let's make it official then." he said. "huh?"
"princess , you said it yourself , we aren't dating, but we aren't friends , so let's make it official."
𐙚 : SOHEE ֶָ֢ !
you loved your best friend , you really did — but he could never read the room when it came to your feeling about him — how many please fuck me looks could you give him until he finally got the hint and stopped telling people you were just friends. "shotaro said something funny today." he said. "he said that he always thought we were dating." of course he did , you did everything together. "he did?" you tried to play dumb , but you were losing patients. "yeah it's crazy everyone knows we're just friends." you heard him chuckle , scoffing. "you're so cute sohee you know that right?" you sat up. "but you're so dumb." sohee was confused. "what do you mean?" he said. "he thought that because to everyone it looks like we are one." you said. "even to me it looks like it." he was stunned. "really?" he said. "i never noticed."
"there's only so many times i can skip dates to watch you play games with a chance that'll fuck me before i lose my mind."
𐙚 : ANTON ֶָ֢ !
he loved that you were comfortable around him , as your best friend that's all he wanted , but the fact that you were comfortable enough to walk around his room in nothing but your underwear and his shirt — and the fact that you were completely unaware that you were turning him on , and he couldn't do anything about it because you were his friend ate him alive everyday. "can i have a shirt?" you walked out of his bathroom in a towel. "he-here." he tried not looking at your body. "thanks." you put his shirt on , dropping the towel. "now im comfortable." he smiled , watching you climb into his bed , turning back to his computer. "food is here." wonbin walked into the room , assessing the situation. "did i interrupt— what are you talking about." anton shot up nervously , walking to the door. "i did know you two were you know— we aren't." anton prayed you didn't hear him. "she's half naked in your bed." wonbin was confused. "she's just getting comfortable , we're just friends." anton said , wonbin scoffed. "are you dumb?"
"she's practically presenting herself to you, you might think you're friends , but she doesn't, she's just waiting for you to man up and make the moves"
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©️LUVYENI
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spiderlyla · 10 months
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the high school reunion thing is so cute but now I’m also thinking about seeing him as a single person 👀 can you imagine going back to your highschool reunion and your old HS Best friend that you lost touch with after college is now this brooding 6’9 BIG MAN? my god
♤—Miguel O'Hara
—anon ur a genius.
🕸alternate idea to teenage miguel headcanons, you can read the first idea here!
🕸taglist: @general-dweebous , @mamu-writes , @beezblep
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you weren't really sure why you attended this in the first place, you didn't like half of these people during your years in highschool.
but you were free for the night, and it wouldn't hurt if you had a couple of free drinks and went home after
you didn't mingle much, just said hello to a couple of friends, catching up and engaging in small talk
it was fun for a bit, reminiscing on your time spent here, but you soon found yourself getting overwhelmed
you stepped out of the gym, deciding to take a breather in the hall, when you bumped into something
hard.
you stumbled a bit from the impact, but two hands rested on your sides, stabilising you
taking a few steps back, you apologised, and excused yourself, a little too embaressed to look up
"Ay, still as clumsy as always. No es sorprendente."
your eyes met his, and memories came crashing down on you
one person you've never expected to run into here, was your bestfriend, Miguel O'Hara
miguel and you met just like this, not too many years ago. you bumped into him so hard the two of you fell on top of one another
after that little event, you found yourself partnered with him for your biology class, and ever since you were inseprable
that was until he completely dissappeared from everyone's lives as soon as he started working for alchemax
those brown eyes you daydreamed about as a teenager were boring into yours, but you could swear they were now a little...reddish? something about him was different.
then you noticed it. everything was different.
you remember miguel as this scrawny, freakishly tall nerd with dark brown bangs covering his forehead, who barely even held himself together
not as...this.
the man who stood infront of you was nothing like you remember. his body has obviously seen some extreme changes—you were certain that his arm was bigger than your own head
it didn't help that he wore a tight black shirt, because you could see the ripples of his abs from underneath the fabric and because it tugged at all of the right places
his face was still as handsome and defined, but he wore his hair back, it was definitely a good look on him
you had always had a crush on miguel, but seeing him like this made your tummy flutter
"Miggy? What...how are you—"
he smiled, and you could swear you could see...fangs? maybe he got his canins sharpened or something.
"You look good yourself...too good." Just like him, you changed alot too, and you did put some effort into how you looked tonight. Just for a faint moment, you saw his ears turn pink, but you didn't think too much about it, there was alot of things to stare at more important than his ears.
"Its been a while since you saw me. Started working out is all. Are you leaving?"
His answer was too calculated. You haven't seen him in ages, but you know him like you know the back of your hand.
"Just taking a breather."
"Had enough already?"
"Oh, you have no idea. Most of them are even more annoying than I remember them."
He chuckles, running his hand into his soft hair. That feeling in your stomach persisted.
"Then do you want to get out of here? I only came because I thought I might see you. We could go to the bar. Talk there."
"What makes you think I wanna talk to you?" You jab a finger at his chest, and wince at the pain. Gosh, his chest was hard.
"We have alot to talk about," He flashed you another grin, "and I think I should buy you a drink. Make up for lost time."
"Oh fine, only if you're paying." You chuckle.
"...and you need to tell me what 'work out' that makes you turn into this."
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imaginetheonewith · 9 months
Text
The one where Chandler & Y/N end up having a fake baby
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Pairing: Chandler Bing x f!reader
Warnings: reader is a little bit of a bi*ch in the beginning, but other than that no <3
Author's note: loosely based on “The One With The East German Laundry Detergent” (only in the beginning); also I know I have been a little bit inactive here, but requests are open.
"So, Saturday night, the big night, date night, Saturday night, Sat-ur-day night!"
Chandler's excited voice sounded behind you, before he jumped next to the sofa, almost tripping while doing his little dance. You, Phoebe, Ross, Joey and Monica looked at him from your place around the sofa, before exchanging a knowing look between yourselves. As always, the weekend got Chandler way too excited to not do anything and spend his entire day hanging out at the coffee house, before he gets home so he can watch "Baywatch".
"No plans, huh?", Joey asked, raising his eyebrows.
"Not a one", Bing sighed, taking a seat at the empty chair next to the bar. A sudden thought entered your mind and you bit your lip, trying to suppress your smirk.
"Not even, say, breaking up with Janice?", you asked innocently, before bringing the cup of already cold cappuccino to your lips. He gave you annoyed look and you bashed your lashes at him, trying to ignore Ross' snickering next you.
"Oh right... right...", the brunette man murmured under his breath, his finger moving up and down, as if he was mentally calculating the priority of the said task in his imaginary "to-do list". Suddenly his eyes widened, before he jumped on his chair and extended his arms towards you.
"Shut up" he almost yelled through a wide smile, before slumping back to his original position with a scowl on his face.
It was not a secret that while they have been dating for months, Chandler and Janice's relationship was questionable... to everyone. What was supposed to be a one night stand ended in a rapidly progressing relationship, in which Chandler has been trying to break things off almost every week, so far unsuccessfully (apart from that one weekend a few months ago). While all of his friends were showing sympathy at the beginning, you couldn't help but feel bad for Janice too. Sure, she was loud and annoying, and overly excited about everything, but she was also clearly in love with your best friend.
"Chandler, nobody likes breaking up with someone", Monica tried to reason, putting her coffee down on the table, "You just gotta do it."
The man rolled his eyes, before opening and closing his mouth a few times, trying to find the best words to describe his reasons for trying to avoid meeting with Janice today.
"No, I know, but it's just so hard, you know? I mean, you're sitting there with her, she has no idea what's happening, and then you finally get up the courage to do it, and there's the horrible awkward moment when you've handed her the note."
You almost spit your coffee at his last words, and you had to get a few back rubs from Joey in order to be able to get a gulp of fresh air. Crossing your arms in front of your chest, you eyed Chandler with suspicion.
"I can't believe you!", you exclaimed, lifting your hands in front of your face, "Are you not feeling at least a little bit bad for her? You've been stringing her along for months. She deserves to know the truth."
"Stringing her along?", he bit back, looking at you in disbelief, "She has been holding me hostage for months. There is a slight difference there, Y/N."
You opened your mouth to reply but the words stopped in your mouth once you felt Ross's warm hand on yours. He shook his head in a "no" motion, silently telling you that no matter what you say, you won't be able to reason with your friend.
From all of the people in the group, you knew Ross and Chandler the longest. Ross was one of your best friends during college and Chandler was... well, Chandler. He was a good and funny guy, yet your friendship never really evolved in anything past the stage of acquaintances. While you spend time together with everyone else, you never hang out alone and you if by any chance you meet on the street or in the coffee house, you have nothing more than a short casual chat about the weather or today's news.
It was not that you did not like Chandler. He was kind, good-looking, smart and with an amazing sense of humor. You even had a crush on him for a whole year after you met him, despite his weirdly styled hair. However, his commitment issues and inability to stay serious in any type of situation quickly made you realize that there is zero chance for something to happen between you and you are better off as just friends. Chandler has also never really showed any interest in you, other than jokingly flirting with you every now and then, but he did that with everyone so you never read into it too much.
Sensing the awkward silence, Joey was the first to break it by giving his typical advice.
"Why do you have to break up with her?", he raised his shoulders and looked between all of you, as if searching for your support, "Be a man, just stop calling."
You, Phoebe and Monica let out a groan in unison, rolling your eyes at him. While comments like this did stop bothering you a long time ago, you were feeling obliged to show your dissatisfaction at some of his relationship opinions.
Chandler looked at him for a few seconds, his mind deep in thought, but then shook his head, before looking at the rest of the group for help.
"Oh, I know, I know!", Phoebe jumped up and down of the sofa, while clapping her hands, "Y/N can join you."
Your eyes widened and you turned towards her, ready to protest, but were interrupted by Chandler, who looked more annoyed than shocked.
"Oh, thanks, but I think she'd feel like we're gangin' up on her."
"Plus", you added, "I wouldn't want to risk ending up in a poly relationship. I mean Janice is fine, but Chandler..."
"Hey!", he pointed at you, "I am a great lover."
"And almost 6 years of friendship, we are still waiting for a reliable source to testify to that statement", you looked towards the ceiling, while tapping your index finger on your chin, "Oh wait... there is none."
The moment you said these words, you felt the feeling of regret washing over you. The comment sounded way funnier in your head, but it came out way harsher than you intended it to be. And judging by the look on Chandler's face, he also didn't find any humor in it.
"Chandler, I..."
"No, no, you're right."
With these words, he stood up and headed towards the door, before slamming it behind him. You felt of the group's eyes on you and for the first time in your life, you wished there will be a sudden earthquake which will open the deepest crack in the floor, where you can spend your remaining days drowning in guilt and misery.
"Wow", Ross muttered, sneakily looking towards Monica, who silently mouthed "I know" at him.
"I don't know why I said that...", you buried your head in your hands and exhaled deeply, "Can this day get any worse than that? I am so sorry guys." The friends looked at each other and soon they all sat around you on the sofa, embracing your slumped body in their arms. You stayed like that for a few minutes, before you murmured you had to get home. It seems your Saturday was already doomed.
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No matter how hard you tried to take your mind off Chandler, he was the only thing you could think about. The harshness of your words kept ringing inside your head, filling you with guilt.
Why did you even said that? It seems the words escaped your lips, before you even had the chance to think them over. And the worst part was you had no idea how you can make things right. Would he ever speak to you again? Would he even give you the chance to listen to you?
Frustrated with all the questions in your head, you turned off the TV and quickly grabbed your bag and coat. You needed to get out of your apartment and get somewhere where you could have some time to think. Maybe even speak to someone... and what better place to do this than "Central Perk"?
10 minutes later and a hot cup of pumpkin latte, you quickly regretted your decision once Chandler barged through the door. In a minute of panic you quickly ducked at the front of the sofa, hoping that he has not seen you.
"Y/N?"
You cursed under your breath, before lifting your head. Chandler was sitting on the edge of the sofa, looking at you with a slight smirk on his lips.
"Chandler!", you sat on your knees, while brushing your hair on the side, "I did not see you there."
"Strange", he smiled sarcastically, cocking his head to the side, "I wonder if it has something to do with the fact that your head was buried into the carpet."
You let out an awkward chuckle, lifting yourself onto the couch. You licked your lips, trying to gather at least one reasonable excuse for the position he found you in.
"Ha-ha, you see....", you paused, letting out another chuckle, "I was actually... checking for bugs."
"Bugs?", Chandler raised his eyebrows.
"Yes!", you exclaimed, almost too excitedly, "You see I thought something bit me earlier, so I decided to investigate what it was."
The man looked at you for a minute, carefully studying your face in silence. You met his gaze, but soon felt a drop of sweat slowly sliding down your forehead. The intensity of his stare made you shift uncomfortably in your place and you let another awkward chuckle, gathering the courage to speak about what happened earlier.
"Look, Chandler..."
He lifted his palm towards you, stopping your sentence:
"Look, I am not mad. You are right, I do not have great record with women and I know that it is because of me that most of my relationships don't work."
You closed your eyes, letting out a small sign. Without much hesitation, you reached towards one of his hands, wrapping your fingers around it.
"You are an amazing, amazing man, Chandler Bing", you opened your eyelids again, only to find him already staring at you. The sudden eye contact caused a warm feeling to wash over your whole body and you bit your lips in order to stop any inappropriate thought slipping out.
"You are smart, funny, kind and an amazing friend. And while you may not have found your soulmate yet, I know she is one very, very lucky lady. Because I know I would be, if I end up with someone like you."
His fingers squeezed your hand and his body shifted towards you, without breaking eye contact. You gulped, feeling the blood rushing towards your cheeks. You have not seen Chandler like this for years, yet the feeling of his warm skin on yours and his musky perfume made your old feelings rush like a waterfall on you.
"Oh. My. God."
The sudden sound of Janice's voice made you jump apart, resulting with Chandler being on the floor.
"Chandler", Janice exclaimed, looking between both of you, "What is the meaning of this?"
He opened his mouth, but could get nothing more than a groan, so he quickly closed it again. Lifting himself, he opened his arms to his girlfriend, letting out a fake laugh.
"Janice, I am so glad you are here!", he cried, before turning towards the bar, "Can I get an espresso and two lattes over here, please?"
He pushed the dark haired woman towards the sofa, pushing her to sit next to you. You smiled awkwardly at her, putting your bag on your shoulder.
"Nice to see you, Janice! I was just going. Hope you two have a nice.... date?"
You made an attempt to get up, but felt a hand harshly pulling you back down. Looking down, Janice's red nails were firmly wrapped around your wrist, keeping you in place.
"Nuh-uh, missy. I want to know what is going on between you and Chandler."
"Me and Chandler?", you chocked, putting a hand on your chest, "There is nothing going on between us. I don't understand... We are just friends."
She finally let go of your hand, only to cross her arms in front of her chest and squint her eyes at you.
"Really?", her voice suddenly got higher and louder, making you wince, "So you just tell al your friends you would feel lucky if you ended up with them."
"Where is the coffee? Where is the coffee?", Chandler shook on his chair next to you.
You on the other hand could not form even one sentence. Like a mouse trapped in a trap, you could do nothing more than to stare back at her with wide eyes and flushed face. Were you that into Chandler, that you could not see his girlfriend right behind you?
Before you could form any words into your defense, Chandler spoke:
"We are dating. Y/N and I are dating."
Both you and Janice both turned your heads towards him at the same time.
"What?", you said in unison.
"That's right", he nodded, quickly wiping the sweat of his forehead with his shirt sleeve, "We have been dating for six months now."
Janice stared at him in shock for few minutes, before bursting into laughter.
"My little Bing-a-ling!", she grabbed a handful of his cheek, pulling him towards her, "I get it now! This is one of your silly little jokes! You almost got me there!"
He continued laughing, while Chandler's face twisted in pain. His eyes met yours and he mouthed "Help me", while trying to pull away from the woman's grip. You spend a second, considering if that is a good time to leave, but against your better judgement you decide to play along.
"Janice", you grabbed her hand away from Chandler's cheek, turning her towards you, "It is true. Me and Chandler are together."
"But how?", her eyes started to fill with tears, before she turned towards him, "Are you cheating on me?"
"What? NO!"
You quickly glared at Chandler, making him only shake his shoulders in response.
"Then how is this possible?", Janice kept looking between both of you, trying to make sense of the situation.
"She is keeping me hostage", your friend suddenly said, making you roll your eyes. You were trying to go along with his little story but he was making it really, really difficult. You started to wonder if you didn't do a mistake by staying here.
"Hostage?", Janice yelled, getting the attention of a few customers around you. You smiled awkwardly at them, before squeezing her hand once again and giving a warning look to Chandler to keep his mouth shut.
"No, I am not keeping anyone hostage", you assured her, "And we have not told you the full truth."
You took a moment of silence and looked at Chandler for help, but he had his nose buried in his third cup of espresso. Letting out a small sign, you've pulled Janice's hand till it rested on your stomach:
"The truth is... I am pregnant... with Chandler's child."
Your words made him choke on his drink and some of the liquid started dripping out of his nose. Janice looked at you with an open mouth, barely blinking.
"Pregnant?... What... How?"
"Well... You and Chandler were broken up a few months ago and I felt so lonely that I invited him for a movie... Then one thing led to another, and... Boom! I am pregnant."
Finally getting himself together, Chandler took a seat next to Janice and rubbed comforting circles on her shoulder.
"Janice, I am really, really sorry!"
Both of her looked at her shocked form, waiting for her to burst into tears, but surprisingly that never happened. You and your friend exchanged worrying looks, before you cautiously asked:
"Janice, are you okay?"
Shaking her head she gave a thin lipped smile, before turning to Chandler:
"Listen, Bing... I really like you and you are very nice guy, but I don't think it could work out between us. I mean you are going to have a baby with Y/N and I am not ready to be a step-mom. I really hope you understand and I do wish you the best."
She turned towards you:
"To both of you."
With these words she stood up and grabbed her coat, leaving you and Chandler frozen on the sofa. Only once she was out of the door, you relaxed back and let out the breath, which you didn't even know you were holding.
"A baby?", Chandler asked with furrowed eyebrows.
"A hostage?", you asked back, raising yours. Seeing your logic, he nodded his head, before letting out a quiet chuckle: "Oh, freedom does taste niiiceeee."
You let out a laugh, gently packing him on the back. But before you could congratulate him on his new status as a single man, Ross, Monica, Joey, Phoebe and Rachel ran through the door, almost jumping on top of both of you:
"You two are going to have a baby?"
Oh crap.
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just-jordie-things · 1 year
Note
WAAAAH thing about playfighting w megumi (;_;)
he always tries to suppress his giggles but he just can’t help it!!!!! i love thinking about silly soft boyfie megumi he makes me Sob.
what are ur thoughts?!?! keep up the good work!!
ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ
nonnie I've been reduced to a silly girl with a silly crush. how should i tell my partner i am taken by a fictional man.
___
play fighting with megumi has become your love language. it might seem silly but it's the best way to reduce him to blushing and giggles.
he's sitting in bed reading? sneak attack! you throw yourself into his lap with a delighted squeal. but his distraction was a farce! he knew what you were going to do, and was quick to toss his book to the side to flip you over and pin you down. he teases you for falling for his trap as he tickles you.
but you're feistier than he is, and you know just how to trick him.
kisses. your trap is kisses.
but he always gives in! it's too easy to pepper his face with kisses and fool him into thinking you're done with play fighting. silly boy, you think, as you wrap your arms around him and flip him over again.
this sends you both off the bed with a loud thud, but neither of you are bothered as you go back to trying to pin his arms down while he's trying to throw you onto your back again.
you're so lost in your giggling and squirming around, that you don't hear the scurry of footsteps nearing megumi's door.
"surrender" you playfully growl in megumi's face when you successfully hold both his wrists above his head.
"never" he raises his head to be closer to your face. there's a playful look in his eye, hiding something more mischievous behind it because, after all, this is fun because he quite enjoys having you on top of him.
"then face my wrath!" you're practically cheering, but before you can deliver your rain of terror, megumi's door slides open.
"WHAT HAPPENED!?" yuuji screeches.
"ARE YOU DYING?" nobara's scream follows.
both pause in his doorway as they see what the ruckus was all about.
you and megumi are in a rather compromising position, on the floor, the sheets tangled around you from your sudden fall, your faces inches apart and you're still pining his wrists to the ground.
megumi tilts his head backwards, giving his friends an upside down glare, while you just grin at them, finding the whole thing entertaining.
yuuji awkwardly apologizes, swiveling around and nearly running away from the scene. nobara's face contorts into disgust.
"gross!" she hollers, before slamming the door shut and chasing after yuuji while wailing something about bleaching her eyes.
megumi tilts his head to look up at you, furrowing his brows in annoyance.
"what, you embarrassed, 'gumi?" you tease with a smirk.
"they could learn to knock" he grumbles back.
"not like they walked in on anything that bad," you muse, lowering your face so your lips could ghost over his. "although they'll pro'lly leave us alone for a while"
sneaky girl, megumi smirks and finally pulls his hands out of your hold so he could wrap his arms around you and pull you completely down against him, slamming your lips together.
"i still won, by the way" you don't miss the chance to remind him of your victory, as soon as his lips trail away from yours and trace along your jaw.
when you finally get up off the ground, megumi picking you up gently to bring you back to the bed, you pull your finishing move, pushing all of your body weight onto him to make him fall onto his back on the mattress. you pin him again, giggling with glee as you do so.
he's flustered, because his mind had been elsewhere, but he can't help but burst into giggles with you, because you look so happy whenever you 'beat' him.
"i win again!" you declare.
distracting him with kisses always worked.
___
icanticanticant the idea of doing this is ruining my fucking life
xoxo ~ jordie
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voltronisanobsession · 10 months
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Hi hello! I hope your having a good day
This might be a little boring but what about a Percy x reader childhood friends to lovers?
Percy had a fat crush on reader growing up (and never gets over them) but then he was swept away to camp half blood so suddenly so he didn’t have time to say anything to reader, and because of the no cellphone rule at camp reader is like all up in their feels thinking their best friend just left without telling them. So when reader sees Percy at school in the winter they kinda avoid him assuming that he was doing the same, basically they drift apart.
But a year or two later, it turns out reader is also a Demi god just found out later in life maybe a child of Apollo or smt, so they come to camp and they see Percy and suddenly everything is making sense, like why he left on such a short notice why he never contacted them, etc. then Percy and reader just have this little catch up where they realize they still have feelings for each other ,but are maybe too nervous to admit because they don’t wanna ruin their friendship again?
It’s so cliché I know, but I’m such a sucker for the childhood friends to lovers trope.
Percy with a Childhood Friend
Omg this is so CUTE ARGGH!! This is my second time writing this cuz I accidentally deleted everything the first time </3
It’s a little long since I wanted to somewhat incorporate a story🔥 not proofread🔥🔥
Edit: I finished proofreading this and DAMN there were a lot of errors💀💀 do not write when ur about to pass out guys💀
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This is literally the cutest idea EVER!!
You guys would totally become friends because of your mutual confusion with school💀 Like you both bond over struggling with school and immediately grow closer
Since he could remember, Percy always had a harder time learning the materials in school and was outcasted for it in a way
So when you sit next to him during recess and start talking to him out of nowhere, he knows you guys are gonna be stuck with each other for a long time
Since you're basically his first friend, in like forever, he can't help the growing feeling he has for you
The way you brightly smile at him when he asks for help on a reading he can’t quite seem to grasp, or the way you patch him up after getting into a fight with one of the bullies
You’re just like the light in his life, you’re warm presence immediately settling his anxiousness
You guys are stuck together like glue and no one can seem to separate you both, something that many have tried to do
Percy believes that nothing can get better than this honeymoon phase in your friendship, swearing that he’s going to confess his small crush on you and everything😭
Until he’s kicked out of school and your family moves away and you begin attending Yancy Academy💀💀
Percy is obviously just as heart broken as you
So for the next few years, Percy faces all these new schools alone and gets kicked out of all them
And when he’s sent to Yancy Academy and finally reunited with you again, he quite literally JUMPS on you
Like this boy is SO HAPPY to see you omg
That spark never left between the two of you and you both make up for lost time
So while school is still the same, getting to see you everyday now is a game changer for Percy
The buried feelings come back full force, your warm and bright smile still making him feel gooey inside after all this time
And you’re just as nervous to him too cuz AHHH!! Childhood crush is back!!
Of course we all know how this ends, Percy is unfortunately kicked out of school again and you’re both heartbroken in the end
Percy leaves mysteriously while you’re wondering where he went
You question Grover on the boys disappearance, the satyr giving you a nervous look while saying Percy didn’t feel quite right attending the school
Which confused and hurt you because Percy had said you made going to this prison worth it
Percy never got to say his goodbyes and is suddenly dragged into the half blood life, continuing his life with danger at every corner
Even after going on all these exciting and dangerous quests, years later Percy will never be able to stop his mind from straying to the one he let get away
He feels regret for the most part and probably thinks you hate him for leaving you so suddenly💀
He often wonders what your doing
Maybe your reading a book from that one author you like
Or maybe you’ve picked up a new hobby. Last time he saw you, you did mention you’ve had this strong urge to learn archery
School starts again and Percy is once again sent to a new school
He’s already anticipating going to camp next year but is immediately caught off guard when he sees you in the distance in one of the school halls
It’s LITERALY like time slows down
His eyes widen when he makes eye contact with you, the light hitting your face in a certain angle that makes you look ethereal
He feels his heart speeding up when your recognize him from the distance
Your face is scrunched up in confusion and then hurt, quickly looking away from him and walking down a different hallway
He’s so happy to see a familar face that he doesn’t even think about how you might be feeling after not seeing him these past few years
Percy looks different. Hes way taller than he was before. His hair is longer and messier, but makes it work. His face is more defined, skin glowing even under the florescent lights
You can’t deny the way your heart skipped a beat at seeing Percy again but everything crumbles down when you remember his unannounced departure from Yancy Academy
‘He could’ve at least told me’ you bitterly think while slamming your locker
Yeah you would avoid him like the plague while school’s in session
Walking in the opposite direction when you see him and avoiding his eyes when he tries to get your attention during class
It isn’t until when a monster interrupts the formal winter dance that you finally speak to him
Percy is trying his best to fight off the monster when it knocks him to the ground with a force that has him hackling for air
That’s when you come to the rescue
“Percy get down!”
“Y/N?!”
With a bow and arrow in hand, you aim for the beast with such precision and confidence, he stares in amazement as you single handily slay the monster with one arrow
He unfortunately has to flee the scene when he hears people barreling down the hallways, anxious to see all the commotion he caused
Yeah he gets to camp early that year💀
And when this guy sees you at camp during the summer, everything suddenly clicks in his head
The way you could see the monster and WERENT affected by the mist
Your scary accurate hit with a bow that seemingly came out of nowhere
And even the way the sun would shine in your favor in random moments
When you see Percy though, your confusion is maxed out. Was this why he left? Why you were never able to get ahold of him?
Yeah things are a little awkward during this time
While you’re put into the Apollo cabin after being claimed and adjusting to camp, Percy finds a hard time to talk to you
He’s SUPER excited knowing you’re a half blood too
He doesn’t have to worry about keeping any secrets from you and can tell you all about his journey throughout the years!!!
But fate seems to pull you and him further apart, bit by bit
He’s forced to hear your contagious laughter from afar during dinner, watching with soft eyes as your siblings surround you, nudging you suggestively when they catch him staring at you
You look over to him and send him a shy smile, in which he would perk up at finally getting your attention :D
After that night, things get a little easier
He’s still dragged away whenever he tries to approach you, but now he isn’t the only one trying to talk
You both wave whenever you see each other
Percy still stares at you whenever a camper tries asking him a question
While you try to walk up to him, he’s magically bombarded by other campers crowding him
He would push past them all to finally get to you after you nod your head to the side, urging him to follow you
“Yeah you know what guys? How about we catch up with this during the campfire! Yeah yeah, totally, see ya!”
He’s jogging up to you as you both walk the shore
“Well aren’t you popular here.” You say with a sly smile
“Oh yeah, I’m kinda known around camp. I’ve had a few uh, memorable, moments.” This dude is blushing like crazy cuz FINALLY! He’s finally alone with you!
After settling everything between you two, once again you’re stuck together
Training together despite your different weapons, doing activities together is a new norm
Except things are different this time
Percy isn’t the shy boy he was when he was young
He’s more confident and wants to make his intentions know to you
While he shows you how to use his sword during training, you guys already know he’s placing his hands over yours to show you the ‘correct placement’
So sly teehee
During the art and craft activities , he’s suggesting you guys to make a matching bracelet
His smooth flirting isn’t missed by you and you’re literally having a HEARTATTACK
You aren’t used to Percy being so bold, buts it’s honestly such a nice change of pace
He would definitely confess his feelings after dinner near the shore
And despite his suave attitude the past weeks, he’s so clumsy when he reveals his feelings for you
“So um, I like y- wait. Ok ok, sorry. What I wanted to say is that like, I like you. A lot actually. For a while. And you know it’s completely fine if you don’t, but I hope you like me the same because this would be really embarrassing for me-“
“Percy! It’s ok um! I like you too. A lot.”
It’s SUPER CHEESY BUT LIKE
COME ON
HES GIVING YOU PUPPY DOG EYES WHEN YOU SAY THAT AND UGH
He’s would totally lift you up and spin you around because he’s so HAPPY
Bro finally got his crush😭😭
He’s so sweet to you like bro
Always hyping you up during mock battles, cheering you on during camp games even if you’re aren’t on the same team
You already know he’s willing to lay down his life for you😭
And you wouldn’t hesitate to do the same even if he begs you not to say that (he doesn’t want to even think of the thought of you leaving him)
He’s an extremely affectionate person, pda is his middle name
If you aren’t that comfortable with pda though, he’ll settle with just holding your hand. He’ll just cuddle you later in private😻🔥🔥
But of course you guys are still best friends so you both would still clown the other if one of you does something stupid
He would love it if you play with his hair
He would be sitting in front of you during the campfire while you’re on a log seat when you brush some hair away from his face.
You rub his head a bit and Percy would lean his head into your hands.
When you’re done you pull away only for your boyfriend to bring your hands back to his hair, silently asking you to continue (UGHHHH MY HEART)
Sally loves you and is supportive of you guys (your number one supporter)
She invites you to have dinner with them and how could you refuse😩
Percy is so down bad for you and always brags about how long you both have known each other and how close you are
Like no one cares but he’ll just keep and talking about you to anyone around
Sometimes when you bunk in his cabin for a night or two, he likes talking about the past and how far you’ve both come
It’s during these nights where he’ll get emotional, maybe cry because he’s so grateful he has you in his life
You would kiss his tears away (SCREAMING)
Overall, childhood friends to lovers works out PERFECTLY with Percy. He values your friendship as much as he values your relationship
He knows you better than anyone in your life, has seen different versions of yourself and has always stuck by your side, through thick and thin💔
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