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#im rambling now but really im just hurting and i need to talk to the void for a bit
enigma-the-anomaly · 3 months
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:/
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hey-hermy · 1 year
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.
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mishapen-dear · 2 years
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i've learned how to draw from complete strangers. like just. little internet tutorials, or seeing how someone draws a nose or a jawline and copying them, or watching speedpaints on youtube and learning what the hell an overlay layer was from that. like sure i've learned a lot of my ability from a few studies and experiments, but my perspective rules? colour theory? shape language? i only knew to study and experiment with those Because of all the tutorials i've seen. the second-most given art advice (beyond "practice") is "see what your favourite artist is doing and pick out what you like about their style!" and! idk! there's something so beautiful about how we're all strangers, but there's so much community in the art community? there's so so many strangers who took time out of their own lives to make flesh clouds or anatomy guides or explain perspective rules, and I wouldn't be where i am today without them. i cannot explain how grateful i am to those people, and how happy i am that so many people fucking. share. sometimes i think about a rose drawing tutorial made by some 15 yo that i watched when i was 12. it was pretty basic im not gonna lie, but i drew roses like that for years. I still draw roses like that when i want to spent a little extra time on them. i saw some artist talking about using thin lines so they'd have to get better with their linework rather than relying on the juicy thick lines, and i copied them and can now wield linewidth like a beast (when. i want to . which is not often). i've watched so many speedpaints that render skin in so many different ways that its all boiled down to the one method i use. neck width. hair physics. hair shine or lack thereof. eyes, pupils, mouth. fucking noses and the million variations. clothes???? idk i am like 100% rambling at this point but it's so fuckin nice to look at my art and see the ways i've been shaped by the kindness of other people
#mishapen rambles#i am completely incoherent tonight and thus it is Text Wall time#i bet id be really good at writing an essay rn im so fuckin verbose#anyway this is why i LOVE it when people talk about their creative processes#do you create things? want to talk about it? PLEASE DO#there are people who will see it and will learn from it#even if youre 'not good enough' i swear 12 yo me beginning artist baby would have had no idea how to spot a single one of the mistakes#you're agonized by. again ive now surpassed the skill of that rose tutorial but i still think about it a lot and how i couldnt see any erro#it's stunning to show a non-artist a piece you're not happy with and they're just. amazed#i once drew a real Shit Pile worthy face in front of my dad and one of his work friends and they were blown away by how fast i made it#idk just hey here's a love letter to everyone who shares anything about their creative process#ilu you're doing great and are a vertebrae in the backbone of this community#this all goes for writing too but the circulated writing tricks seem to be. trendified? more often than art tips#hey fun fact you can use 'said' as many fuckin times as you want i prommy#you don't always need whatever big fancy phrase or detailed description#if it hurts to write just don't write it#you will get so much farther with two sentences than a three paragraph slog#this mishapen dear is full of too much love for the creative community and all the people who never knew her but still taught her
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Feeling something about growing up afab and experiencing misogyny my whole life and sharing that with other afab people and women (trans and cis ones) and then realizing I’m genderfluid and Sometimes A Boy and learning very quickly I can’t share that with anyone.
Because now I’M the problem. Now I’M the misogynistic, violent, disgusting, scary, evil masculine person that women and non-binary people (yes, even the queer ones) don’t want around for those reasons. The misogyny I experienced my entire life (side by side with them!) doesn’t matter anymore even when I still experience it!! And cis men don’t want me either, because I’m “not a real man.” And the people that still want me around usually say it’s because I’m “not a real man.” And terfs love to say I have “internalized misogyny.”
And so where do I fit? What group wants a Sometimes Guy or just any transmasculine person? And looking back at times I’ve come out to myself and others and very quickly realized it was a mistake and gone right back in the closet. Or I’ll be out to them but have to claim to never identify as masculine because doing so is Just Not Acceptable and they make that very clear. She/they or they/them if cool but the second I’m a she/they/he or a he/they we have a problem. “Oh, you’re genderfluid? That’s cool. You’re not like, a guy, right?” “Non-binary? At least you’re not a boy! Men are just the WORST.”
And I’m tired of squishing and crushing and destroying this piece of myself so people accept me in queer spaces or as their friend I’m tired of coming out to partners and getting dumped because it’s fine if I’m feminine or non-binary but not fine if I’m masculine, I’m tired of hearing maybe it’s okay if I’m transmasc if I only wanna bind and pack but oops never mind it’s not okay if I wanna start T. I’m tired of being taught to hate myself or that masculinity is inherently evil and I’m
Tired. Just. Tired.
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toastsnaffler · 2 months
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ohhhhh my god girl i don't careeeee
#love my roommate but urghhhh. sorry they dont make enough fictional female characters that interest u but u dont need to justify it to me#write your mlm its literally fine. sorry but ur not gonna gain my respect or approval by defending why u write more mlm than wlw#i dont care if u have equal amounts of each or not LOL we just have different tastes thats all there is to it#and I KNOOOOOOWWWW she writes femslash too im not denying that !!!!!!#most of my fav media is lesbian centric bc I have a strong connection to my identity as a dyke. so i gravitate towards things that explore-#that + complex relationships to gender + its social enforcement etcetc. and its easier for me to get attached to characters that i can-#connect with bc we have shared experiences or the world percieves us in similar ways or we percieve the world in similar ways etc#and shes said she DOESNT feel particularly attached to her sexuality in that way. so ofc shes not going to be looking for the same things-#in media and thats OKAY!!#literally have nothing against her writing gay men i like some fictional mlm relationships myself!! and its cool that she enjoys it#i just find it disappointing that we dont have much in common taste-wise bc thatd be more fun to talk abt#but thats why i come on tumblr dot com.. to talk abt fictional women w dykes who understand them like i do amen#and im happy to listen to her talk abt things she likes and projects shes clearly enjoying working on like thats awesome love to hear it#but sometimes its like shes trying to persuade me abt smth but theres nothing to persuade. i dont knooooow#like ik shes not trying to get me into her interests she already has plenty of friends who are. but theres no approval to win from me???#i think im just annoyed bc i feel like i cant rly talk abt the things im into w her bc she disliked them so much#and also annoying to be around someone who shares an identity w me but is clearly more uncomfortable w it than i am#maybe thats not even true actually the real reason im annoyed is bc ive had a long and exhausting week and im coming down from-#my first day on new meds and im soooo so so tired have i sajd that already. and my head hurts#and i want a fucking hug and im just projecting my lack of physical and emotional intimacy onto her bc she happens to be the person i-#spend the most time with. but thats really unfair of me its not her fault or obligation at all. ah i just want to shower and sleeeepp#and tomorrow day 2 of meds im gonna get so much shit done!!!!!!!! i hope.. i wanna finish drafting my comic too teehee#wouldnt it be so crazy if now im medicated i might actually be able to start and finish projects i reallyyyy want to do..#well i wont get my hopes up yet#anyway........#another day another 5 million tag rambling post complaining abt everything. and dont expect me to ever stop 😚#.diaries#literally why would i care abt the tastes of a girl whose fave character in tlt was naberius........#she rly had to pick one of the ONLY men and not even one of the particularly interesting ones. and shes not even straight???? her loss 🙄
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caruliaa · 9 months
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this is my joe alwyn and taylor swift breakup <- joking but its smth thats genuinely hugely big and awful for me i feel
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hannieehaee · 6 months
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hi! i wanted to request seungcheol x reader based off of ‘how you get the girl’ by taylor swift? thank you!
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content: inspired by 'how you get the girl' by taylor swift, angsty, fight between reader and cheol implied, fluff ending, etc.
wc: 738
a/n: ive never rlly listened to taylor before so im sorry if i took the lyrics out of context i tried to research the meaning of the song but i wasnt 100% sure T-T anyways tysm for requesting sorry i took so long <3
masterlist
seungcheol knew he had royally fucked up.
the details didn't matter now. it had been a while now – six months to be exact – and he still couldnt get over you. he'd see you around town occasionally, and you'd look perfectly fine. how could you be fine when he was so empty without you in his life? were you really better off without him?
he tried to move on, he really did, but no one was like you. the type of love you had was the type he wanted to be his endgame. there was no question about it. which was why he needed to fix his this.
it started with attempts to be in the same spaces as you again. he would find out where you'd be from mutual friends (okay, a little stalkerish, but it was fine!) and make sure to be in attendance to any party you'd go to. lucky for him, you were best friends with his good friends soonyoung and vernon, which gave him the perfect opening to approach you every time. at first you'd look peeved off by his presence, but after a few times you seemed to warm up to him, even laughing at his jokes sometimes. after a few weeks of intruding your friend hangouts, it was as if he'd always been there.
the day finally came in which you'd been left alone together at a party, with both soonyoung and vernon leaving one by one. it was getting late, so seungcheol offered to walk you home, which you surprisingly accepted with a polite smile. you talked like old friends on your way back, never once making any mention of the relationship you used to have. that made cheol both sad and relieved. it was good you weren't hurt by it anymore, but did this mean you were now looking for a mere friendship out of him? he had tried to bring back the old dynamics between the two of you. he had even been as physically affectionate as your newly-developed friendship would allow, but it seemed like that wasnt what you were looking for. seungcheol couldnt help but carry the disappointment in his face as the two of you arrived to your home.
"cheol? what's wrong?", you asked as soon as you caught sight of his face.
"hmm? oh, nothing. im fine. i, uh, goodnight. thanks for letting me walk you."
before he could even turn around, you pulled at his arm to grab his attention.
"cheol, what is it?"
he hesitated in speaking up again. he knew himself to be an outspoken man to a fault. and how was be expected to hold back when you looked so pretty under the moonlight and were even showing concern for him?
"i love you,"
fuck. that's not how he meant to start. and that was clearly not what you had expected him to say, judging by the shocked expression on your face.
"what?"
"im still in love with you, i- i know i fucked up, and i know i waited too long, but ... seeing you move on in life without me made me lose my mind. i know i shouldve apologized earlier. and i cant even blame you for breaking up with me, i ... i was a shitty boyfriend. i didnt treat you how you deserved. but i'll be better now, i promise! just give me one more chance. ill give you everything i shouldve back then and more. i know it's been six months, but ive been losing my mind without you. i know we could make this work. please?"
he knew he mustve looked crazy as he rambled his sudden love confession to you, but he still hoped that you'd maybe take pity on him and take him back. however, after a full minute of silence from you as you didn't meet his eyes, he knew that luck probably wouldnt be smiling at him today.
he turned to leave without a word until you unexpectedly stopped him again.
"wait, cheol," you seemed kind of shy about your movements, but still offered him a smile.
"come in? do you ... will you stay the night? please?"
your shy smile was met with his bright one as his arms warmly wrapped around yours, kissing your cheeks over and over as he used to once upon a time, walking the two of you into the apartment he was once oh so familiar with.
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normansnt · 4 months
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Could I request a third part of the prince? I love it!
YES OMG YOU ARE MY FIRST REQUEST HIIII THANK YOU SM IM HAPPY YOU LIKE IT🧡🧡
Yeah I might have forgot to mention I do in fact take requests😎
Actually ya'll have been loving the prince series and I was wondering if you want me to making it into like a full blown story like following the series events and what not, or like just a little series of cute scenarios?
Let me know.
Warnings:
The prince (part 3)
(Alastor x male reader)
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Currently you were arguing with your father. Since the moment he found out you are dating Alastor he was not happy, to say the least.
"Why the sudden urge to leave? Is it not good here anymore because I can clean up the rubber ducks-"
"No dad thats not the point I just think I'm old enough to move out and Charlie has her hotel with a lot of rooms, and I mean I guess her dream is not that impossible-"
"Yeah right, like I'm going to believe that you just want to move in with that bambi of yours" he scoffed
"Dont call him- thats not- ok fine yeah, I want to move in with Alastor why is that such a problem I am a grown ass adult I can do as I please." And with that you left the room to pack.
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"I swear, he still thinks I am a kid." You were pacing in Alastor's room while he was sitting on a couch and calmly drinking tea.
"He let Charlie go?? Why not me why cant I do what I want with my life" you continued your angry ranting while unpacking you clothes.
At this point you were basically moved in with Alastor. You had all your stuff there you just needed to unpack, which he solved with a flick of his wrist. You could have done that too, but your father raised both you and your sister to not be careless with the amount of power you have, also you were busy rambling.
"*sigh*...thank you honey." You said quietly as you took a seat next to him slumping into the couch.
Alastor looked at you. Till now he was just half listening to you ramble and he thought you would feel better once you let it out and you two could cuddle but right now you looked even more sad, defeated even.
This did not sit right with him. If there was anything he hated most was seeing you sad or hurt.
He took a hold of your hand and put his other one on your cheek to guide your head to look at him.
"My dear, this issue will be resolved just as any other, you will make up with your father." He reassured you with a smile.
"I know but than it will start again, and I'm starting to feel like he will never accept you even though you are so important to me and... it's just too much right now, I'm sorry I need to be alone." And with that you left.
There it was again. That stinging feeling in his chest. Alastor had to take matters into his own hands.
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You walked down the stairs and took a seat by the bar.
"Damn kid, rough day?" Asked Husk as you put your head into your hands and groaned.
"Thats one way to put it, can you please get me a whisky on the rocks" you said in your ever so kind voice.
Husk liked you. On contrary to your father and older sister you were calm, quiet and well spoken. All this while still having the heart of gold they have as well.
He never understood how a charming young man such as yourself would find himself in a relationship with a demon like Alastor.
During your numerous visits to the Hotel you have talked to Husk a lot and you two became really good friends. The same went for Angel who usually joined you guys. You three usually sat by the bar chatting for hours.
"Hi (Y/N)," you heard Angels voice approaching as you sipped on your whisky. He took a seat next to you and shared a quick kiss with Husk. You chuckled to yourself quietly, you have been rooting for the two from the very beginning and when they finally got together you were so happy you shedded a few tears.
"Hi Angel" you gave him a small smile but he saw through it.
"Aww, toots hard times?" He asked as Husk handed him his drink.
"It's a long story" you answered.
"We got time" said Husk encouragingly.
You smiled a little than started telling the story.
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Alastor was on his way to find Charlie. He needed to solve the situation or he had to gauge his own eyes out so he doesn't have to see you sad.
He figured if he got your father to come to the hotel you can talk things out. As well as, he is going to try and make an effort not to be a complete ass with him but Lucifer has to try and be nice as well, for your sake.
He needed Charlie for this because if Alastor asked Lucifer to come he would not. However if Charlie asked, he'd be there in a second.
"Oh Charlie?" He wondered into the princess's room.
"Yes? OH Alastor HI how is my brother doing?" She asked with excitement. She was more than thrilled that her little brother is going to move into her hotel.
"Not so well I'm afraid I acquire your assistance to make him feel better"
"What? Whats the problem is he ok? Did you hurt him? Alastor I do not care how helpful you are around here if you hurt my little brother-" Her eyes started glowing red as her hair was swept into the air and her horns started to show.
Before this could go any further Alastor cut her off.
"My dear, rest assured I would kill hell's entire population and my self before causing any harm to your darling brother." He said calmly.
"Oh, then whats the problem?" Asked Charlie now calm.
And so Alastor explained everything to Charlie.
When Alastor and Charlie knocked on her father's door there was no answer. They looked at one another and Charlie checked if it was open. It was, so they could go in without problems.
"Hello? Dad?" Yelled Charlie as her voice echoed in the huge mansion.
"YOU, It's your fault you took them away from me" they heard as they looked to their right.
In seconds Alastor was tackled to the floor with a very angry Lucifer on top.
When Charlie registered what she was seeing she started to pull her father off of the Radio demon to almost no avail. The devil wouldn't budge.
"YOU TOOK BOTH OF MY CHILDREN AWAY FROM ME ARE YOU HAPPY NOW IS THAT ENOUGH?"
Lucifer was not happy. He was yelling in his demon form wings out and fire spewing from his mouth.
"DAD"
Everyone stopped. You were standing in the door looking at the scene before you, baffled.
You rarely raised your voice, so to hear it this loud and clear shocked most people in the room.
You cleared your throat. And said in your normal calm voice again.
"Can we talk in private."
Lucifer calmed down and followed you into the room you left to.
When he entered the room to his surprise, you hugged him.
"Listen dad, I understand that both of your kids growing up is hard for you, and I'm sorry for leaving you alone but I need my space I'm starting to live my life and its with Alastor because I love him."
You said in a very gentle tone.
Your dad looked at you for some time then hugged you again.
"You really love him, kiddo?" He looked at you with understanding eyes as he let go.
"I do, dad I really do." You answered.
Your dad sighed. He took a hold of your hands.
"All that matters to me is that you are happy. I'm sorry I have been such a jerk about it but...it's so hard to let you kids go, you will always be my babies" He sniffed lightly.
You chuckled at that and squeezed his hands.
"Can you please make an effort to not hate Alastor?" You tried.
He groaned.
"Yeah, yeah I'll see what I can do but he needs to be cooperative"
You walked out of the room.
Charlie stood up with tears in her eyes and hugged you both.
"Oh...the walls are thin here aren't they?" You asked as you looked at your dad.
"Yeaaah, forgot to mention that."
"You guys, I'm so happy you made up are we ok now?" She asked between sniffles.
"Yeah, we are ok" you smiled at your dad.
After your sister let you go from her crushing embrace Alastor walked up to you.
"I- listen no pressure about saying-" he cut you off by swapping you off your feet into a breathtaking kiss.
"I...I love you too, darling" he said quietly, without the radio statics, he said it in his real voice, as he put his forehead on yours.
"OK, see, I promised to be nice but there is no need to rub it in my face" your father said as he dragged you away.
Alastor straightened up and, with the static back in his voice and an eye twitching, he held his hand out to your father.
"I promise to make an effort to not murder you" he smiled eerily at your dad.
Lucifer had a brooding expression on his face but shook the radio demons hand none the less.
"Thank you." You said at last as you hugged both of them. They hugged you back. While glaring at each other behind your back.
Sure they are gonna make an effort. When you're looking.
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TADA
I really hope you like it again thank you for the request.
Also please let me know if y'all want any of what I mentioned in the beginning.
When Alastor's staff broke and he started talking w/o the statics I was ON MY KNEES.
I WANNA THANK EVERY SINGLE ON OF YOU WHO LIKE MY STORIES THEY HAVE RECEIVED A LOT OF LOVE AND IM THANKFUL BEYOND IMAGINATION THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU💗💗
OK LOVE YOU HAVE A NICE DAY/NIGHT/MORNING WHATEVER MWUAH💋
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Omg I just read the hc about arguments with Tan and now I DESPERATELY want something angsty about how he’d be if he accidentally really hurt our feelings during an argument and we walk out 😭 that’s so angsty and he’d be such a mess and I just fucking love it (same with silent treatment tbh, like kinda a lengthy one where he thinks we’d talk to him the day after, but NOPE bc we’re HURT omg)
I LOVE LOVE LURVEE ANGST!!!! especially with tan🤭 here are my thoughts babe
AN ARGUMENT WITH TANGERINE.
I think he can sometimes go a little low in an argument, and he gets so angry (he's got a temper) that he doesn't even really know what he's saying. most of the time he doesn't mean what he says, but you know, once you say it, you can't un-say it. and then once he realises what he's said, it's too late
maybe you're a little non-confrontational or you've just had enough and don't want to be shouted at. so when he says something a little spiteful and hurtful, you shut yourself off and walk away. maybe when you walk off, he's following behind trying to make amends like "didn't mean that" "wait a minute" "one second, let's talk about it"
but you don't wanna hear it, so you get your shoes and bag and phone and things you'll need for a few hours. you ignore him and then walk out the door (you'll be back later, you just need space etcetc)
he'd be calling you nonstop, texting you trying to find out where you are. maybe asking your friends and family if they've spoken to you (drama queen) maybe to make it EXTRA angsty, you text tan back with "stop bothering my friends" and he texts back INSTANTLY like "can we talk? I'll come meet you. im so sorry. tell me where you are and we sort everything out" but it's not one message, he's sending each line individually (he quadruple texted. embarrassing for him)
and then you come back hours later, and he's sitting on the steps by the front door waiting for you or on the sofa facing the door. and he has a gift for you to aid his apology. and he's rambling 'sorry's' trying to get your attention. but you ignore them and he's clutching at straws like "can we just talk? I miss you" and you turn around and say "no, you spoke to me like shit. I don't want to hear what you have to say"
and then go to bed and things are prickly with you over the next few days
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neosexuals · 5 months
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˙ 𖥦  ⪧ ◟together ˒ ˶ taehyun
> synopsis: you and taehyun have been in a business marriage for 4 years,you’ve never had anything between you two. Most of the time taehyun would go around fucking other rich women, everyone knows it’s just business. Exept you
A/n : I literally loved writing this like AHHHH I hope you guys like it <3
Tag list^^: @heiiolifeee @f4iryfever @iweirdthingsblog @yuriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii @cinnikoi
“Always been mine…”
︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵
“Honey im home” he sang out as he entered the home you had together. You were pissed to say the least, you let out a heavy sigh “don’t call me honey, taehyun you’ve gotten into another scandal” you huff again “how do you plan on covering this up”.
He stares at you, his gaze confused and amused at the same time. He ruffled his hair "why do you care?" He grunted as he sat down beside you on the couch "you know that means I'm the wife who let's their man whore of a husband fuck around right? Which leads to them thinking I'm cheating too..?" You argue scooting away from him, before getting up to go away "whatever it's not like you aren't, your just better at hiding it" his attitude scorching through you, grabbing your hand "now sit down I'll go get coffee and tell you everything"
He walks away , once again. You never said you need or want an explanation, but deep down you do.your heart burns as you stare at your phone, the article everywhere.
"Kang taehyun , cheater"
The silence becomes louder in your head, you try to surpress tears. No matter how hard you try he always replays in your mind, he hurt you. He doesn't even know after 3 years of your undivided attention towards him. He doesn't realise you love him. Before you know it your lost in your thoughts once again....
"y/n? Y/N?" He waved his hand infront of your lost figure, you jumped back when he smacked your head "y/n oh my god" his voice clearer now. You won't even acknowledge that he hit you, you don't care.
To be honest taehyun felt bad for you too, he loved you just as much, he wanted to hold you, to feel you to be close to you. But he knows he couldn't, he knows you dont like him, so he acts like he hates you, he hooks up with girls left and right 'knowing' you don't care.
The problem is, you do care.
"anyway, I met her at a club, I felt sexually pent up so, I decided to... You know" he explained himself he was rambling on and on after this before you stopped him "taehyun stop rambling I really don't care" you did.
"I'm gonna go to bed" you walked upstairs the stairs tiring you out before you plop onto your bed,you had a joint bedroom only a wall and a door dividing you twos room.
He regrets his decision every time he fucks around, he acts like it doesn't matter but when he walked into his room he feels an absence. You were that absence.
#######
"Kang y/n finally gets revenge"
"icon y/n"
Your name surrounded the web , you finally decided to fuck around after 3 years. It felt odd ofcourse but you didn't carw., You just wanted to get over taehyun. But you got caught, you thought he wouldn't care since he's always on the news.
You sat on the couch once again, it was a habit for you by now to wait for him at the couch. As soon as the door handle turned,so did your stomach why did you feel so bad all of a sudden.
"how was it?" He dropped his bag, not even making eye contact with you. "How was what?" You asked hesitant of his reply, you were slightly trembling "the sex" his tone grew more aggressive by the word. "I asked how was the sex y/n"
His tone had a hint of sadness to it, you didn't notice it though. His gaze hit you atlas the flames in his eyes grew."it wasn't great" you responded, you wanted to lie but you couldn't. It wasn't great it was sad, miserable actually.
"then why'd you do it" his voice odly calmer than before, he was less jelous. Yet you stayed quiet
You wanted to talk back, you couldn't however. He walked towards you, step by step making you tremble. His next move wasn't clear at all, he sat beside you grabbing your jaw "look at me darling, why'd you do it" you were now facing him, the tention grew between you.
"I..." You fucked up, how or why you don't know but it felt like you fucked up "you??" His leg shaking, you couldn't tell why tho.
"taehyun." You paused his eyes widen as you use his name anticipation coarsing through him.
"taehyun...I used to like you." You blurted it out, the gaze and pressure let it out of you. But you still liked him.
"like I know it's not meant to be that way, I know it's business and I know I'm just being delusional but-" your ramble cut off by his touch. He wraps his hand around your nape, pushing your face closer to his. Your lips almost meeting.
He stares at your lips, your eyes roaming the situation, trying to avoid contact. Your mind travels wanting to kiss him so bad, but you don't want to act suddenly. Waiting for him to make the move, was he playing with you?
"I like you too" he mumbles onto your lips before smashing them together. The kiss soft yet laced with desire. He was holding back for you, the kiss sent shivers down your spine. You stay frozen in place before he pulls away , "you didn't pull away?" He cuts your words off again with a kiss, this time you reciprocate the kiss sending shivers down your spine. Your arms wrapping around his neck pulling him closer, he smiles during the kiss as you do this.
Breaking off once more his smile widens he stands you up "wait." You pause the situation. His eyes widen once again. "Shit whatever" you dismiss your negative thoughts smashing your lips together once more, your hands still wrapped around his neck as his hands roam around your body landing on your waist.
Picking you up lightly. You wrap your legs around his torso as he indicated with a tap on your thighs, the kiss sloppy as he climbed up the stairs carrying you. He opens his door with force as his hands still roaming your body.
"you've always been mine baby" he mumbles onto your lips , dropping you on the bed as he climbs over you leaning for another kiss. This time hungrier more rough. You start to crave his attention, you needed him more than ever now.
"fuck babe" the nickname forming something in you. As the kiss continued, Taehyun's hands moved up to play with your hair, his tongue exploring deeper into your mouth. He could feel himself growing hard against your leg and he knew he wanted more than just a kiss from you.
Feeling the heat between them, Taehyun broke the kiss, panting softly. His eyes met yours, filled with lust and anticipation.his breath hot against your skin. “Taehyun….” You huff out. Wanting more out of him . With a smirk, Taehyun slowly removed his shirt, revealing his well-toned body. His hands slipped back down to your pants, tugging them gently over your hips and down your legs. You were even more beautiful than he had imagined. He kissed his way down your stomach, taking in the taste of your skin. His hands continued their exploration, tracing patterns on your thighs and teasingly brushing against your underwear.
Eager to work with you, he knew his girth couldn’t fit into your pussy. “Want you so bad…” his eyes practically eating you out. His hands find its way inside your soaked panties, his fingers running through your folds. Playing with your puffy clit he starts slowly inserts a digit into you, your folds tightly squeezing his fingers “so tight….” He whispers into your ear “are you sure you’ll take my cock like this?” He glides his free arm across your face, his eyes loving yet sarcastic pity covers his face.
His finger working on you painfully slow as he leaves marks on your neckline. His length gets painfully harder as he fingers you, starting to grind on your thigh. He slowly inserts another finger his breathing ragged as he continues to finger you slowly, his other hand moving up to massage your breast. your breath heavy trying to speak while he mercilessly fingers your cunt. Scissoring inside stretching you out.
You moan out his name softly. “You feel so good around my fingers, baby. My little whore” His words are heavy with lust as he presses a soft kiss to your jaw before returning his attention to your neck and shoulders, nipping and licking softly. He can feel your pussy tightening around his fingers adding a third one chasing your high.
Your moans seem to get louder as his actions get faster, your hips bucking grinding against his fingers. You let out his name before releasing over his fingers as he curled them inside, the orgasm shaking you. You try to catch your breath laying there a bead of sweat trickling down the side of your face.
He gives you time to breath tasting you on his fingers, licking them dry. His body gets more tense as it seems his boxers now have a wet spot from his pre cum, he couldn’t wait any longer kneeling onto the bed and pulling your legs onto his tights “sorry baby, you look so Pretty I can’t take it anymore” he leans in, now in a missionary position and kisses you, the kiss hungry deep and sultry. You could tell how desperate he was
“You ready?” He lines himself between your legs, lubricating his tip with the remaining orgasm you had let out. You nodded eager for his cock to fill you up. As he slowly enters you realise how big his member actually is.
Stretching you out deliciously he groans feeling your tight walls around him “such a slutty little pussy hm?” His breath getting heavily, he would’ve cum right then and there “can their cocks stretch you this well” the pleasure distracts you from his malicious words. He goes on whispering sweet nothings into your ear as he finally fills you up balls deep.
He gives you a pause to get used to his length “says the man-whore” you finally catch your breath replying to his former words. He fumes with anger and starts to move relentlessly.
“Man-whore?” He huffs fucking into you his girth so mouth wateringingly wrapped inside your soaping pussy. He whispers sweet nothings once again, nicknames spewing out of his mouth sweetly.
“y/n if you, fuck- if you keep squeezing me like that I’ll cum inside” he groans and curses under his breath. He was addictive to you, you felt painfully pleasant his, face admiring your features. His girth creating a small outline in your stomach, his cock twitching at the sight.
Your eyes close shut as you get closer and closer to your orgasm, evident by your pussy tightening around him. He takes this as a sign to press on the outline around your stomach , causing you to whimper, the stimulation making you sensitive.
“Baby I’m gonna” his words get cut off by his groan
“Just- do it Baby” you nod your head allowing him to release inside you as you chase your high along side him. He gets cockier and starts to play with your clit, your words driving him. His movements get faster, slowing down at lass to release alongside you.
His juices mixing with yours as he falls on-top of you he slowly pulls out. Shifting beside you, cuddling you to relax.
“Why did you fuck around if you like me?” You start to question his actions. Looking forward to his response
“Cause I thought you hated me , I tried to get over you…” he paused “and also,I don’t just like you y/n love you” his words shook you, a smile forming after you pause “I love you too” you finally respond.
You turn to see he had passed out already, you could only let out a chuckle before kissing his cheek and snuggling against his arm.
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mayearies · 9 months
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˚ʚ ©hiimayee ɞ˚
OPEN ARMS? …. miles g. morales ⟡
જ⁀➴ genre : angst | warnings : breakup, no happy ending, lengthy blurb
꒰ঌ ໒꒱ note! : yeah this made me cry if u cry sorrieee
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miles knew you too well. you wanted him to choose a new path in life, and he thought different.
you liked to take him out on random dates sometimes. walks around brooklyn, stay up talking, but most of all—convincing him he doesn’t need to do this. he’s heard it a thousand times. he has to.
today was a bad day to catch him. and he would later come to you in the dead of night and find your endless persuasive ramblings being an earworm for him.
“ listen. i get your point, i seriously do. but can you shut up with the prowler shit. for five seconds.”
“ i’m sorry-”
“ i just- i dont wanna talk about it, okay?”
miles wasn’t like this all the time. in fact, he was rather sweet towards you. no matter how annoyed he was, he was usually nice. but he didn’t look recognizable to you anymore. he looked disappointed.
he didn’t hold your hand like he used to when you walked down the street, he was more distant. and you didn’t see him as much anymore.
the ringing of your protests against him were always in his ear, even if you weren’t speaking. thats just what made him more upset. but he didn’t know what to be upset at.
you walked slightly beside him. he would slow down if you trailed too far behind. you didn’t know if you should follow him back home. suddenly, he stopped. “ can i ask you somethin’?”
“ mhm.”
“ do you really think i’m a hero?”
you knew what he had to see. some die, some live, some injured. some of those he had to inflict. but he said he did it for the greater good. for you and brooklyn. “ …i don’t know.”
miles scoffed at your answer, kicking the rocks on the pavement. his sudden change startled you a bit. “ great answer. just absolutely amazing.”
now, there’s one thing here. he can be upset all he wants. but he shouldn’t gain an attitude.
“ you need to chill out-”
“ don’t tell me what to do, [name].”
he doesn’t use your first name a lot. what happened to nicknames? what happened to ‘ma?’ ‘darling?’ ‘amor?’ what happened to those? are they just lost to time now..?
his distance was bothering you. he just wasn’t miles anymore. you don’t know who this is. is this the prowler you’re talking to? you grabbed his wrist making him stumble back. “ i’m worried! i’m worried about you.”
“ well don’t.” snapping at you was something he never did. never once in his life. he would tell you to back off, yeah, but never like that before. “ i’m fine.”
“that’s bullshit!”
he was really trying not to snap at you right now. you were working his last nerve. he doesn’t want to argue. he just wants you to leave it alone and move on. as you always do.
he huffed before relaxing his expression. “ look. just don’t worry about me, alright?” he paused, “ you hear me? just stop.”
you felt unheard. you felt so ignored. " you're a fucking liar! do you expect me not to worry about you when you come to my window at three in the morning? covered in bruises?! is that how you wanna play this out!?"
miles’ expression turned stern. even as he began to shake a little. you couldn’t believe this was miles. “ you think i’m still your sweet boy ?? do you really think that !?"
he looked hurt, he wasn’t happy.
" …i-" you felt your heart shatter into a million pieces. he used to be so loving. so caring. it didnt feel like he was here at all. he just felt like a stranger. someone who walked all over your heart.
“ forget it-” silence filled the thick atmosphere again.
“ do you even think im alive, miles?"
miles stopped walking, he looked back quickly. he seemed confused.. and a little hurt. he saw you on the verge of crying. he would always say if he made you cry, he would never forgive himself for that.
" do you think im here? do you think i just-" your voice started breaking, " i just dont ever think about what you're going through? when i clean up your blood from my sheets? do you think i dont care?"
you cant avoid the inevitable, huh? yeah. he thought that too. he knew this would happen. “ because i assure you— i do care. i care more than- more than anyone else! anyone else that you know as a friend. thats why i ask. but you never tell me. never once. i do all of this for you, and i get nothing. miles.”
miles sighed, he had always felt this way—he didn’t deserve you. he knew he didn’t. you? he doesn’t know. it’s just hard for him to show how he really feels sometimes. “ ..please know i care.” he paused, wrapping his arms around you.
“ i really do. i hate to see you so worried about me.. and i hate that i have to put you through that.” he looked down over your shoulder, ashamed.
"then why? why, miles?"
miles paused for a minute, trying to find the right words. “ i have to do it.” he knew those weren’t the words you wanted to hear.
"for what sake!?"
" …i can’t just stand by..” miles sighed, his voice becoming weak. " i can’t."
you cried into his jacket as he rubbed your back. you knew a solution to this. you did, but it wouldn’t be pretty. it wouldn’t be anything considered nice.
pulling away, you stared at you feet. some tears still dripping to the pavement, "… maybe it isnt best… we see each other right now." your breath was shaky, and you could feel his demeanor change. "its just- you have a lot on your plate and… i dont wanna be involved in that."
miles was now silent, there didn’t seem to be anything he could say right now. he felt defeated, like there wasn’t anything he could do to change your mind. “ are you sure?”
you sighed lightly, “ no.”
you knew it had to happen. it was the only way to catch him a break. this was for him, not you. "you cant have it all, miles. i just wish we had better timing… you know?" you were on the verge of crying again.
miles was trying his best to keep you from crying. he knew that. he was lucky enough to even know you. he wish you met somewhere else. some other universe. “ no- please don’t cry. don’t do this to me.." he took his hand to yours, he really didn’t want this to be the last time you talked.
you had to let him go. you had to. it was for the greater good.
miles was still waiting with his hand in yours.. “ please. just tell me your not going to leave. im sorry." he said, he sounded.. really worried. he hated this.
"i just.. feel like i cant love you the same.."
miles had frozen, he didn’t know what to say. he felt like you were leaving forever. tears had started to form in his eyes, he was speechless. those were the words he’s always feared. the one thing he wanted to avoid.
“ please don’t leave me.. it’s just- i dont- i dont know what to do anymore. please. i love you.”
even after everything, you still believed he could figure it out. but you weren’t part of that equation at all. you could see his breath hitching softly as tears stained his face.
you cupped his face and smiled weakly at him. "… meet me in a year. just… find yourself before you find me. can you promise me that?"
your eyes looked pleading and caring. he shakily nodded his head which made you giggle a little. he seemed to have calmed down now, and was prepared for whatever the future has to hold. “ you’re a pretty crier, y’know?”
“ heh,” he sniffled, “ you never fail to make me smile.”
even with all his doubts, he still couldnt grasp how he met someone like you. you were his everything. everything he liked in one. he couldn’t ask for any less.
“i’ll be waiting for you with open arms, mamita.”
and he did. but you never came.
as i said before. you can’t avoid the inevitable, yeah?
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afterwards note! : my layout will continue to be inconsistent thanks for asking
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kneelingshadowsalome · 7 months
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Hey i just read some of your fics and i can’t lie..IM. IN. LOVE!!!! I absolutely adore your writing style too! When i saw you wrote something that included Roman Empire I screamed lol.
I was curious tho how would König from that au would’ve react to his lover being tired and pregnant carrying his heir. (Pregnancy kink alert) and their sex life looks during pregnancy 👀.
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(This is not a *fic* fic, I just love to do these cute little moodboards! lmao)
Roman!König gets so fussy when his little fairy gets pregnant 🥺
Their new hut is barely even built before she notices that her moonblood no longer arrives. When she tells König the good news, he's already the happiest man in the world but now he's about to burst from joy. All his dreams are finally coming true!
König is so proud of his queen, but he's also proud of himself. He’s been working hard every day – as a man should! – hunting and fishing and building their new home and making love to his woman, basically toiling from sunrise to sunset. Now that there's a baby on the way, he can finally catch his breath and concentrate on taking care of his wife and finishing the roof for their new house ❤️
And lovemaking! There's lots of it in the first months, but when the baby starts to grow, König refuses to "bully" her before the child is born. Says that in his homeland people believe that it can hurt the baby if a man tries to get an already pregnant woman pregnant again. As much as he would love to do his daily duties, he can't risk the health of their child so it will simply have to wait.
Man starts to talk to her belly before even a month has passed, and in his own crude language too. Doesn't see how his fairy queen is rolling her eyes at this – even a mighty warrior turns into a simpleton when they've managed to get a woman pregnant, it seems.
She’s not jealous, per se, she just thinks he’s being a bit silly :/ König likes to ramble to the baby even more than he rambles to her these days, and the baby bump is not even visible yet! And when it is, gods, he gets even more silly. Every morning König gives her a kiss, then goes down to her belly and gives the baby a kiss too, then says Guten Morgen with a wide, cheerful smile.
It’s nice to see that at least someone here is happy, because she’s not having it easy; her back and knees hurt all the time, she wakes up five times during the night, her feet are always sore, she has to pee constantly, and her appetite is gone. König isn't really helping: he tries to feed her all the time “to make the baby strong” and gets worried if she doesn’t eat enough.
So it's a good thing that König has his little building project going on, otherwise he would go mad :/ Man is working hard to build the animal pens before winter, hunt the food, and do some carpentry such as make them a sturdy enough bed (...) that he dozes off in the evening after eating three large bowls of stew. These two lovebirds are soon sleeping under a pile of furs, with König's large hand protectively over Fee's tummy while the embers in the firepit offer them warmth through the night ❤️
And if Fee was treated like a queen before, now she's almost like a goddess. Barely gets to prepare the food because König doesn't want Fee to exert herself. The only thing she's allowed to do is weave (they have this cute little vertical loom), and if she ever looks tired, König will order her to rest and comes to pet her head or massage her feet.
Starts to excitedly talk about how he will teach the child how to run and wrestle and hunt and fight, be it boy or a girl. He has to teach their little wolf cub to fend for itself if need be, right? When Fee cuts in and says that if it’s a girl she can always marry a strong husband, König looks at her in shock. His baby girl, marrying some ugly, big brute who just wants to force his head under her dress?? There's no way he’ll let that happen!
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widowmaxff · 5 months
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I’ve been having some bad days, could you write something where Y/N is having a rough week and pretends she’s fine except Wanda knows her daughter and comforts her?
I just love the way you write Wanda as a mother and that she just always knows
overwhelmed
pairings: mom!wanda maximoff × fem!reader
warnings: angst, reader crying, depressed reader — i think that's all!
a/n: tysm for your request love and im so sorry for your bad days, i really hope things get better for you and if you need someone to talk you can dm me, okay? <33
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Interacting with any other human being was the last thing you wanted to do today. Saying that you had a bad week was an understatement, all the bad things that could happen to you happened. And not just things around you, but also your mind didn't stop for a second. You felt so overwhelmed that anyone could see on your face how much that week was hurting you.
"This can't be happening right now." You mumble as you feel the raindrops start to fall on your head. There was still more than half the way until you arrived at the Compound, you didn't have an umbrella, much less a coat to protect yourself from the cold that would come. No one could come and get you since everyone was busy and you didn't want to disturb your mother, she had enough problems to deal with yours.
You were coming home from school after another stressful day. You've spent the last few weeks studying for an incredibly difficult test, especially in a subject you had difficulty with, and seeing that big red note made your urge to cry even more. You studied so much that you thought it was impossible for that to happen. So many nights without having slept and so many energy drinks wasted for nothing.
You were absolutely soaked when you stepped into the Compound. Your sneakers made a funny noise when you stepped on them, but the only thing you wanted to do now was take them off your feet and throw them at the person closest to you, shouting in their face. "You're going to clean this up, Little Maximoff." Tony's annoying voice says, obviously joking, but still your head hurt just hearing that you had to do something that day. Your jaw tightens and you close your eyes tightly, taking a deep breath.
"I know, Tony." You ramble, trying to keep your voice as calm as possible. You walk past him to head towards your room, feeling your eyes burn from having something else on your list of things that made your week worse than it already was.
On normal days the first thing you would do was go look for your mother in her office, but the last thing you wanted to do that day was worry her, because you knew that the moment she laid eyes on you she would know that something was wrong. And filling her with your problems would make you feel guilty for a long time, you hated making people feel sorry for you and looking like you were a baby. You just needed to calm down, didn't you?
"Fuck!" You scream when you see all your notebooks soaked, especially your sketchbook, which you spent hours and hours drawing. You drop your things on the floor and run your hands through your hair, taking a deep breath. You wished your mother was there now, she would know what to do and help you with whatever you needed to calm down, but you put that idea out of your head before you ran towards her arms.
You enter the bathroom connected to your room and take off your clothes before you catch a cold. The hot water from the shower makes your muscles finally relax after the terrible days you prayed would end. In a few seconds you no longer knew what water was or what the tears on your face were. All those things that happened in your week came together into one, and you started to feel like you were on that empty, dark hole that took you a long time to get out of. You thought that maybe the problem was you, that maybe you deserved all those bad things, from the smallest to the ones that made you cry and scream like that moment.
You didn't hear the knock on your door because your bad thoughts were so loud that it was almost impossible to even hear the shower water hitting the floor. But when Wanda entered her room after hearing no response, she felt like something was wrong at the moment. She looks at your completely wet things lying on the floor and frowns. You told your mom you didn't need a ride home from school, but apparently, you did.
"Honey, is everything okay?" When she heard the shower turning off after long minutes, she knocked on the bathroom door just to let you know she was there and see if everything was okay. "Yeah, I'll be out in a minute." You say in a low voice, taking a deep breath. You knew that the moment you left the bathroom, your mother would know that your bad thoughts came back again, but you also knew that she wouldn't pressure you to say anything.
You close the bathroom door quietly, finally looking into Wanda's green eyes and seeing the worry through them. She held your backpack in her hands with her face confused at you, because she wouldn't think twice to get in the car and drive to you. "I was almost here at the Compound and the rain caught me." You chuckled, trying to hide your red eyes, your cheeks and the tip of your nose with the same color as your mother's hair.
"Are you okay, love?" She asks again, her face relaxed now. You put a fake smile on your face, but still with enormous affection for your mother.
"Yeah, just a little upset that my sketchbook got ruined, but it's okay." You don't completely lie. Yes, you were upset that your drawings would now have to go in the trash, but no, nothing was okay.
"I'm sorry, sweetheart." Wanda says approaching you. You just throw it away, muttering 'it's okay' but she wraps her arms around you, giving you a relaxing hug. Your mother leaves a long kiss on your head, making the urge to cry increase even more. You loved all the affectionate actions that your mother gave you, it made you feel so vulnerable and light. "Come on, let's get you something to eat, shall we?" You didn't like eating when you were feeling bad like that, you felt like you were going to throw up when you put anything in your stomach because of the anxiety, but you just agreed.
You were so lost in your thoughts that you didn't even notice when you arrived in the kitchen which, unfortunately, was made up of a few people. You felt so overwhelmed that being in the same environment as some people made you feel even worse. The small group of Avengers on your left irritated you. The loud noises they made. The conversations. The sound of people swallowing food. The tapping of Steve's shoe on the floor. Everything irritated you. From the small scratches on the counter to the farthest lamp that blinked every one minute and two seconds. Wanda noticed that. She noticed that you were itching to keep from freaking out. That you closed your eyes tightly trying to ignore your surroundings. That she needed to do something to help. She wanted to come to you and ask what intrigued you so much. What made you take deep breaths and crack your fingers every second was curious.
"Thank you, momma." She almost didn't hear you because of your low and hoarse voice. Wanda leaves a kiss on your head as she watches your foot bouncing up and down, eating the sandwich she made.
Wanda debated in her head what she could do to make you feel better. She knew she couldn't pressure you into saying anything, but she was so worried that she would do anything to see you well again. And even if it got to the point where she had to read your mind, she couldn't. You somehow managed to block your mother from reading your thoughts and seeing what was wrong.
You place your plate in the sink, taking a deep breath. Finally you would get away from people and that feeling of anxiety would finally leave you, that's what you thought. You thought that just a few hours of lying in bed doing nothing would solve your problems, but deep down, you knew that wasn't what would happen. And, now walking towards your room, not even your plan of closing yourself under the covers would be complete, as your mother followed you with the comfortable atmosphere that she always exuded.
You lie in your bed watching your mother calmly wait for your permission to lie down next to you. You nod to her with a smile on your face. Wanda puts her arms around your body, running her hand on your back, making your body relax. You loved these moments between the two of you, you realized how important you are to her and how loved you are. "You know you can always talk to me, don't you?" She murmurs, making you lean into her even more. Your face was in the crook of her neck, hiding how your lip trembled trying to hold back your crying. "I love you so much, sweetheart."
You finally let out a sob when Wanda murmurs those words that came out of her mouth so sweetly. Her grip around you tightens as she feels tears fall onto the skin of her neck, leaving a kiss on your head. The caress on your back never stopped, reassuring you that you were safe in your mother's arms. "It's okay, baby. Everything's going to be okay." You hated crying out loud, but at that moment you couldn't control all those feelings that made your heart ache spilling across your face, and Wanda was there to remind you that it was okay to cry and feel that way. "I-I'm sorry."
"Honey... we never apologize because of our emotions, right? Never." Wanda pulls you to place you on her lap, making you lay your head on her chest. You start playing with the hem of your mother's shirt, sniffling as you try to think of words you could say to her. "Do you want to talk about it, детка?"
"It was just... a bad week." You murmur, snuggling even closer to Wanda, feeling her heartbeat in your ear, which made you calm down a little more. "I just- I'm just feeling so overwhelmed and... and I don't know what to do."
"Oh, baby... it's okay. We'll get through this, yeah? It's okay to feel this way and I'll help you with whatever you need, my love." She strokes your hair, making your body relax in her lap. You agree, feeling her comfortable words enter your ears and help you with the horrible thoughts. "You're so strong, honey. Remember you're not alone, okay?" You mumble something, agreeing with her. You never knew how Wanda could make you feel better with just a few words, maybe it was her magic? You never knew. But she would always be your best friend and the person who would always make you feel better again. "Thank you, momma."
You would never be able to explain how grateful you were to have your mother by your side, because there are so many people in the world who don't have that comfort, and just thinking about not having someone to help you through your episodes made you feel sick. Even if she didn't say it, you knew Wanda was afraid you'd go back to that time when the hole was deeper than it is now. You remember exactly how she cried with you when you vented to her about everything you were feeling, and how she helped you every step of the way again.
"You don't need to thank me, детка. I love you so much, okay? I will always be by your side, on whatever you need." And you knew she was telling the truth, because Wanda loves you so much. You will always be her little miracle and the most important thing in her life. She feels so proud of you, because she knows that you can get through this, that you are strong enough to get through all the challenges in your life. She believes in your ability to overcome these difficult times - because you can - and there will always be people to support and walk alongside you, because you'll never be alone.
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asmoslverboy · 5 months
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To love the devil; Dottore x GN!Reader.
He is who he has always been. Despite the centuries he's had to accept and embrace his darkness, though he claims otherwise, he can't help but try to hide away from you. Neither one of you's a saint, but through his eyes, you're an angel. CW! Angst, immortal × immortal, Dottore is referred to as "Zandik", self sabotage on Dottore's part♡, dottore being emotional (ooc tbh, im self projecting on him)??
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Dottore has many sides to him that he'd rather hide off from you. For someone so egotistical, so full of pride, you'd never expect him to be ashamed of who he is, who he has become. And he's not— shame, embarrassment— those aren't emotions that he's familiar with.
But fear, now that's a whole other conversation. It's not like you don't know what he's done, the things he's guilty of, his list of crimes, and of unethical desires he's tried to fulfill. It's not like you haven't personally seen him drown in sin over the 400 years of knowing him.
"Zandik, did I upset you?" You ask him as you're sitting on top of his desk while he's in his chair, looking up at your figure. He's been quite distant lately, more than usual. You could easily assume that he was having one of his isolative episodes, but he doesn't seem to be avoiding anyone other than you.
"Hm?" That's all you get from him, accompanied by a raise of his right brow, but his focus soon goes back to his notes, going over them, rambling about how he needs his next project to be the embodiment of perfection. Creating an aranara, was it? Some things, it seems, never change. He was so obsessed with the idea of capturing one of those little creatures of nature, back when the two of you were still students.
The next few hours pass by in the same cycle of events. You try talking to him, he shrugs it off and continues digging his head deep into his research files.
Do not expect any more of him for the next days, weeks even. It's like your existence no longer matters to him. All you see is the man that you've been with throughout basically your whole entire lives, acting as if you were a mere accomplice. He has repeated this type of scheme in the past, more than once, but it never lasted as long as it did this time.
Each of your attempts of getting a simple response out of him, one that requires actual words instead of some grunt or hum, has gone to waste.
You're unsure of what to do. Should you be more worried for him or for yourself? Is this the time it all ends between the two of you? Should you really just give up on him at this point?
"Zandik," you called out, but not to him, nor to anyone else. Sitting by a lake, all by yourself, no one to your company, other than the thousand microorganisms that lived and thrived in the waters. "I wish you would just speak to me."
It's not like you lack friends to confide in. But would anyone be as understanding towards him— the one who was labeled a monster, by all who've known him and by himself first and foremost— after you tell them about his present behaviors?
You laid your head on the cold, wet grass. Surrounded by nature, the collective of existence. You could never be alone in this world, not as long as you believe that everything around you is as alive as you are.
But are you truly alive? If, in the past, your definition of the word was to express yourself in every way, to feel and to be felt, would you consider yourself alive at this very moment?
Another day has come— it seems you had fallen asleep on the ground. You awoke, a couple ducks quaking as they poke you with their beaks. They didn't mean to hurt you, though. And if you think about it, your beloved is much like these ducks. He does what he thinks would best help you. Even if it has opposing effects.
"You shouldn't stay," he told you, his tone felt like it could cut through metal. You were back at his office again, figuring you could at least help him out at work, if unable to help his inner world. He was taking off his gloves as he was done inspecting some ancient Khaenri'ahn technology items. "Do you want me to—"
"I've given you every reason to leave. Yet you still cling to me like a bloodthirsty eel." He cut you off. He has never spoken to you like this (not whilst he was sober, nor whilst he was in his right mind). He was calm, but he spoke as if you were an object to be dismissed.
"Do you not love me anymore?" You wanted to ask him so, so desperately. But the potential answers to that question shook you to your very core. So you dared not speak.
Such conflict within you. Shall you leave him be? Shall you listen to his words instead of pursuing him any further? You're painfully aware of his nature; to push you away when he needs your presence most.
But it's been going on for far too long, has it not? If he's not allowing you to help him, then really, what else is there to do, if not fend for yourself?
"You deserve better," he wrote to you, in a letter that'll never reach your sight. "Your love should not be limited to one who can not accept, nor react to it," he wrote again. But who is he trying to fool? He knows that this piece of paper, along with all the other ones he's tried to write, will be crunched up and disposed of.
Not even once, for the sake of the person who's loved him through it all, will he allow himself to be heard.
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breaddwoo · 2 years
Text
-Just a Few Scratches-
pairing: xavier thorpe x reader
word count: 4.36k
warnings: injury/blood
desc: you get injured trying to solve xavier's problems for him. silly you :)
a/n: im having a field day writing all my fic ideas :)) can't decide if the next one will be another xavier or wednesday
edit: pt 2 is now posted! 🦭
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"fuck, fuck!" xavier yelled, sprinting across the field of pine needles before him and leaping over bushes and rocks.
cold sweat dripped down his flushed face; he could feel tears sting the back of his eyes. xavier felt like he could puke as he ran, but only one thing occupied his mind:
"(y/n)!"
> > >
-5 hours prior-
“are you doing okay, xavier?" you ask with worry. after class you had to stay late to ask the teacher something, so it was a surprise when you found xavier sitting on a bench in the hallway with his head in his hands.
he jolted. looking up, he seemed tired. really tired. you noticed the purple bags under his eyes and the way his breathing appeared to be unsteady.
xavier tried to smile, but it instantly fell off his face when he met your gaze. he bit the inside of he cheek to keep salty tears from spilling out of his eyes.
"I... " he began, but it came out as a strangled sob.
the sight of his pitiful state filled you with worry, and you picked up your pace as you sped over to him.
standing in front of xavier, you ask, "have you been sleeping? you look like a wreck."
xavier laughed at this, quickly wiping away a tear that dared to escape, "yeah, i know. I'm just.." he looked down, "I'm just really stressed."
you stepped closer and he pressed the top of his head to your stomach, refusing to look at you as he loosely wrapped his arms around your waist.
you began to move your hand to pat his head, but hesitated. "can i...?"
without hearing the rest, xavier said, "please."
this consent allowed you to weave your fingers through his hair. "do you want to talk about it?" you asked in a low voice, afraid that somehow, despite the hall's vacancy, someone would hear this sensitive conversation.
he was quiet for a few moments, considering his words.
"it's... wednesday. i'm so, so tired of her- of her blaming me! always saying i'm a mass murdering monster! it fucking hurts and she keeps finding new evidence that genuinely makes sense, " his voice is strained as he tightens his hold, "but i can't do anything to convince her it's not me. and she even found my art studio, which just makes me look worse."
seeing him like this made you want to cry, but you restrained yourself because this wasn't about you; this was about xavier.
"i'm so fucking scared that she's going to get me locked up. i can't even blame her- all of the evidence points directly at me! and these nightmares, they plague me in my sleep and i wake up screaming and then i can't go back to sleep so i've just been painting that fucking thing so i-" his rambling is cut short when he hiccups through his frustrated tears. he felt angry and hurt and afraid.
you leaned down to hug his head, pushing his face into your tummy as he sniffles. "i'm sorry, xavier. i wish there was something i could do."
xavier looked up from your (now wet) shirt to say, "just listening is enough. don't worry about it, hopefully everything will fix itself soon."
and as he rested his head once more, an idea came to you.
there's a way to help xavier.
> > >
three knocks and wednesday was ready to order thing to strangle the person at the door.
she lifted from her desk, about to tell off the perpetrator for interrupting her writing time. when she opened the door, however, she recognized you as the person that xavier constantly follows around.
"enid isn't here," she said point blank, beginning to shut the door. you stick your hand out and risked amputation to make sure it doesn't close, "actually, im here to see you."
wednesday narrowed her dead eyes, "go on then. explain."
"i need to know where the hyde's lair is."
wednesday's facial expression didn't change, but you could tell she was confused.
"why don't you ask xavier? he would know."
the fake smile that you wore to feign being nice dropped. instead, you replaced it with a tight, irritated line on your lips.
"haha, yeah, i would. yknow, if he were the hyde. but here i am, asking you. why do you think that is?" you said all this with a lighthearted tone through clenched teeth.
wednesday could read the passive aggressiveness of your words but decided to press on, "try looking at his gallery of police evidence. that would give you the answer you're looking for."
with that, the door closed and you soon heard the sharp clicks of a type writer. you knew she was talking about xavier's art studio, but he hasn't allowed you in since people started dying around the school.
you decided that the only way to enact your plan would be to sneak into the renovated shed. sneaking in you could do, but distracting him for enough time to find something was completely different.
fuck, this is gonna be hard.
> > >
in the end, enid was your best bet. your plan was for enid to ask him for help on a subject and get him to tutor her for a bit in the library.
she agreed immediately, hoping it would also make ajax jealous; it was a win-win situation.
though, when she asked, you would not tell her why you needed her to do this in the first place. she was skeptical but trusted that you were doing it for a good reason.
finding the studio was easy, you had been there so many times that you knew the trail like the back of your hand. you were xavier's rock after his breakup with bianca, so it made sense that he'd commonly invite you to paint with him in his secret hideout.
when you made it there, you took no time to begin searching every single art piece for a deeper meaning. xavier mentioned that he was having nightmares about the foretold monster, but wouldn't allow you to see the art "for your own safety".
there was nothing of value on the walls and canvases, so you turned to plan b.
you bent down to the trash, fishing through it, hoping you'd find something important. about ten pieces of paper had been uncrumpled by the time you found something worth your dumpster diving.
"there it is!" you excitedly whisper-scream to yourself.
it was a drawing of the monster in front of a familiar cave. though its name and exact location eluded you, there was someone who would know those exact details.
later, after asking eugene if he knew anything considering you'd seen him working alongside wednesday on the investigation, you set the final steps of your plan in motion.
it is here that you will find out who the hyde is, if only to relieve xavier of his stress.
> > >
"enid, we've gone over this topic, like, ten times. i think you're just a lost cause," xavier said in exasperation. he had been attempting to teach enid the different geometrical formulas but she hasn't understood a single word he's said in the past two hours.
xavier, giving up, grabs his phone off the library table to check his notifications.
"huh, that's weird."
"what?" enid asked.
"(y/n) hasn't texted me. usually she'd have sent several messages asking to hang or something by now," he frowned, his expression a dark overcast.
enid, feeling something was off, finally broke, "uhm, well, (y/n) kind of asked me to distract you. im not really sure what for, but she did mention something about an art studio?"
xavier's heart lept in his chest. "what?"
"yeah, sorry, i felt she had a good reason but now i'm a little worried, " enid replied with an awkward laugh.
he wracked his brain for any reason that you might have had to go to his studio. a surprise? was she curious about the paintings i wouldn't let her see? why would she need to sneak around to do it?
instead of searching for an answer that wouldn't come to him, xavier stood from the table, gave a small "thanks", and left the library in a hurry.
at the studio, he found nothing amiss. none of the paintings were gone and nothing had been moved.
that's what he thought, however, until he saw the trash can laying on its side in the corner of the room. kneeling, he sifted through the scattered, unfolded papers.
his eyebrows knitted together in further confusion. what is missing?
then it hit him:
the drawing of the hyde's lair.
xavier didn't know exactly what you were up to, but he knew with every fiber of his being that it was definitely dangerous. he was absolutely terrified.
the doors burst open as xavier ran out of the studio, an unwelcome gust of wind blowing many of the drawings off the walls. at that moment, he couldn't have cared less.
a mirage of trees passed him by as he sprinted. the nighttime autumn air was far too cold for the season.
"fuck, fuck!"
the words were strangled and every noise around him felt muffled; all he could hear was the crunching of the leaves beneath his racing feet and his own hammering heartbeat.
"(y/n)!" he shouted, the distress in his voice echoing back at him.
xavier slowed to a stop, unable to tell where he had gone in his desperation to find you. he took a second to breathe when a shrill scream sounded from an unknown direction.
the scream of a girl. a girl who was horrified, or worse, in danger.
and he would know that voice from anywhere. it was someone familiar; someone close to him. the person most important to him.
"(y/n)! where are you!?" he yelled in response, but the forest had turned into something akin to a funhouse mirror maze and he couldn't tell left from right.
xavier heard footsteps running toward him at a high speed, and just as he began dash in the similar direction, you came into full view.
pain spread through his chest as you slammed into him, sending you both crashing to the moist soil beneath.
you were laying on top of him now; shaking with labored breaths.
it rook a moment for xavier to process what had happened, but he wrapped his arms around you with little delay.
"you- are you okay!? what were you doing!? are you stupid!? there's a fucking monster on the loose and you-"
he shut his mouth when saw a steadily growing red patch on his shirt.
"you're bleeding! oh shit, we need to get you back to nevermore fast," he was quick to hold you, your body laying bridal style across his arms.
you winced in pain, sobbing out the words, "i'm sorry. i'm sorry xavier, i just wanted to help. i really wanted to help. i'm sorry."
xavier didn't give a shit about your apology. he wasn't mad at you. he was mad at that thing that hurt you. he was fucking furious.
he had many, many things to say to you but for now, he'd let you rest in his arms.
he then headed back in the direction he had come from, you now tucked safely in his embrace.
> > >
once the final stitch was in, xavier was allowed to visit your hospital room.
the bright white lights made him feel sick. even more so when he saw you sitting in bed with a hospital gown and an IV drip in your arm.
the moment he walked in, you gave him a warm, content smile.
"is right now really a good time for you to be smiling?" xavier questioned, sitting on a seat next to the bed.
you held the hand that he placed on the edge of the sheets, "well, i was able to achieve my goal."
"at the cost of several pints of blood and a couple scars on your arm? what was worth that?" he asked, unrestrainable anger surfacing on his face.
though, when he took in the finer details of your state, he couldn't help but soften. many scrapes graced your skin from the collision earlier; the complexion of your face much paler than normal.
rubbing his knuckles to ease his frustration, you say, "i was able to convince wednesday that you're not the hyde. how could she believe that out of all the people you could attack, you'd attack me?"
something clicked in xavier's head and it all made sense. this all started after his breakdown in the hallway, caused by wednesday's meddling. the sneaking around, stealing his drawing and going off into the woods.
"so you did this on purpose? you scared me half to death!" he bursted, his emotions a flurry of love, anger, and guilt.
"so what if i did? it's just a few scratches."
god, he loved you. could you believe he had yet to even ask you out?
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firsttimewriter92 · 1 year
Note
Heyo! I’ve requested this to a couple different writers just to see the way it differs and so far Im still waiting for them to respond, which is fine, but I was hoping I could at least request it to you as well :)
I have ADHD and other mental conditions and stuff and was wondering, if it doesn’t make you uncomfortable, that you could do the 141 + Konig where the reader (female) had ADHD and was super energetic and talkative the entire day and the boys were just stressed out from the long day or a bad mission and had said something hurtful to the reader, which caused them to either try and suppress their ADHD ticks or just talk less and become less energetic and social.
I’m a sucker for angst cuz I’m sad and lonely lol 🥹. If you could please do this or at least think about it that would be amazing, thanks 🫶🫶
Hello, my love. I LOVED your ask and gave it a shot. I hope you´ll forgive me that I only came up with something for Ghost, Price and König so far. Maybe I´ll do another part with Gaz and Soap.
As I don´t have ADHD or know anyone who does, I really hope I catured what it´s like as best as possible. Please let me know if there´s something wrong. Please enjoy and don´t feel lonely! There´s a whole community for CoD out there who welcome you with open arms! <3
Warnings: angst, panic, yelling, cursing, fluff, hurt/comfort
Words: 3.001
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Ghost
You were just putting away the dishes from your dinner when you heard the front door open. Your heart lurched into your throat knowing who just came home. You bolted around the corner and there he was. The hulking figure of your boyfriend Simon. His frame took over most of the space of the short hallway as he moved to take off his jacket. You knew he needed a little time to adjust before he would be able to give you attention so you waited, though still hopping from one excited foot to the other quickly. Grinning wildly and lightly giggling.   
You heard a long sigh coming from Simon and your heart sank a little. It must have been a draining mission. He lifted his head and his dark eyes looked at you wearily. You stopped hopping immediately and a cold, cold shiver ran over your back. You saw the haunted look in your boyfriends eyes and you didn’t know how to help him best right now. Then, to really spike your panic, you saw Simon shake his head and move backwards to the door. “I can´t deal with this tonight” was all he murmured before he turned and left your shared apartment, leaving you standing there with the most horrible feeling in your stomach.
Simon was at a loss. He was sitting in a quiet corner of his favourite Pub, sulking into his pint. The last mission almost cost him every single one of his team members. Johnny was still in hospital. He just couldn’t deal with bubbly, happy or hyper right now. At least that´s what he thought. His fist clenched around the glass when he tried to suppress his self-loathing. Wasn’t your talkative person and happy nature exactly what had enticed him in the first place? What was he doing? Instead of listening to you ramble about your day, about the newest plant you got or how much you enjoyed cooking this new dish, effectively draining all the bad thoughts from his mind, he was sitting alone in a Pub, still thinking about the horrors of the last couple of weeks.
He knew all you´d wanted to do a couple of hours ago was envelop him into your arms and making him feel home. A huge gash opened in his chest. Growling at himself he stood and left the Pub. He had to see you right now.
In your apartment you sat on the couch, trying to read one of your favourite books and not feel rejected by the one you loved. You really tried to understand why he left. Why he left you with these words hanging in the air. Where you really too much? You were just excited. Was that too much as well? You felt your eyes sting. The front door opened and your heart plummeted into your stomach.
He needed space, so you stayed seated and decided you wouldn’t bother him with your presence until he really wanted it. At the door, Simon waited for your hurried footsteps, craving your hug more than anything. But nothing came. No footsteps, no happy squeal, nothing. He knew he´d fucked up big time then.
As he walked into the living room and saw you sitting on the couch, his heart squeezed painfully when you wouldn’t look at him. He heard you sniffle and immediately went over to you. “I´m sorry, dove. I´m so, so sorry” he whispered when he sat down and immediately pulled your whimpering form onto his lap. You held onto his shirt and marvelled in his scent and warm, firm chest. Simon buried his head into your hair and still continued to apologise. “I stepped over the line when I said what I said, my love. I can deal with it! I need your bubbly self, especially now. I´m so sorry.” His big arms caged you in and slowly you came down. Warmth and love melted into your veins again as you spoke.
“If you need more space from me when you come back, just let me know before you come home. So I´m not a bother.” You heard a desperate sound crawling up his throat when he repositioned you to look into your eyes. His big hands were framing your face when he said in a choked up voice “No. No, don’t ever hide who you are from me. I´m the one who needs to work on this. You did nothing wrong.” He sighed. “I thought I couldn’t deal with it but the truth is, it made everything much worse. I need your adorable rambling when I come back so I don’t have to think about what happened. It just took me a while to realise and I´m incredibly sorry. I´ll do better, I promise. I love you.” You shook your head and lovingly stroked his face. “Just let me know exactly what you need and I´ll adjust. Just don’t push me away like that. I love you just as much.” He kissed your fingertips, your nose, your forehead and finally your lips. “Never again, love. I promise.” You smiled against his lips and kissed them again.
Cuddling on the couch for several minutes he could feel the words stuck on your tongue just dying to come out. “What is it?” he asked with a grin. You grinned back just as wide. “I bought a new plant” you said with a giggle. Simon sighed happily and nodded his head. “Of course you did” he said lovingly. “Go on then, show me.”
Price
John had been home for about three days now and was still on edge. He really tried not to let it show or not make you worried about him. He still had a lot of paperwork to fill out and visits to the base. You wanted him to feel as comfortable as possible so you decided to really scrub down the flat.
You were really proud of yourself when you finally came to the last room, John´s office. It smelled of leather, John and faint cigar smoke. Smiling fondly you looked at the clean and organised desk. John´s things always had a designated place to be, at least on his desk. Smiling giddily you took a picture frame into your hands. It showed John and you at one of Gaz´s barbeques. John had a beer bottle in hand, red cheeks and smiling so wide, his eyes were completely closed. The picture was made just as you´d jumped onto his back clumsily, almost making him fall. You were perched on his back, your arms thrown around his shoulders. John was leaning forward slightly but already had one hand securely and possessively on your thigh, holding you to him. At this very moment you felt so incredibly lucky to have met him.
John came back later that evening, just as you started preparing dinner. He looked exhausted and a little annoyed as he entered the kitchen and living space, smiling at you shortly and kissing your forehead. You hummed sweetly. “I cleaned the whole apartment today” you said grinning. John raised an eyebrow and looked around. His lips twitched. “You did good, love. Everything´s so orderly.” You knew how much he loved it when the lovely chaos you preferred living in was a little more controlled. You giggled and kissed his cheek. “Get washed up, dinner will be ready soon.” He gave you a grateful smile and nodded, leaving the kitchen.
Several minutes later you heard heavy footsteps stomping down the hallway. Curious you looked at the door just as John walked in. His shoulders were tense and his blue eyes blitzed dangerously and annoyed. “Did you clean my office as well?” he asked quickly, crossing his arms over his chest. You blinked. “Yes, why?” you asked. He shook his head and huffed. “Then I´m sure you can tell me where the bloody hell my work phone is!” You took a short step back when you heard him raise his voice that way. Slight panic settled into your chest. “Uhm” you said and tried to think if you saw his phone. “I´m not sure if…” “You´re not sure? Ok. I´m sure,___. It was on my desk when I left. You know how important that thing is? Where did you put it?” Your head was reeling when you really tried to think if you removed the phone from his desk. “I-I don’t remember” you said breathlessly. John groaned.
“You know, what good is it that you finally clean up your clutter if you remove the things that I actually need?”
Immediately after he closed his mouth he saw you fall into yourself. Your shoulders sagged, your whole face showed panic and bewilderment. Worst of all however was the moment he saw all the light vanish from your eyes. He knew instantly he made a huge mistake. Yes, he was annoyed, but it wasn’t like the phone was gone forever. The both of you just had to find it. When you turned around he knew you didn’t want him to see you like that. He felt terrible. You´d put up with his demeanour for the last couple of days and the first inconvenience made him explode like that. He heard you sniffle.
“___” he said in a small voice, walking over to you. “___, love, I´m sorry. That wasn’t fair of me to say. It´s just a phone. We´ll find it.” He saw you nod but you didn’t turn around. “Baby” he tried again. This time you did turn around and his heart almost gave out. Your eyes were brimming with tears but they looked at him with no emotion at all. Your mouth was a straight line and your jaw was set. “You know I have trouble remembering things. You know that keeping up with one task at the time is basically impossible for me.” He nodded and hung his head. “I know” he said slowly. You huffed. “I´m sorry. I´ll find your phone as soon as dinner is ready.”
John shook his head, walked over and turned off the stove. You looked at him curiously. He grabbed your hand and led you over to the sofa. He urged you to sit down and the moment you did, he knelt on the floor in front of you and touched his forehead to your knees. He breathed you in for several moments before lifting his head. “I really should learn how to prioritise things better. I know how to keep everything orderly and all that but…now it´s not only me and my job. Now it´s also you and me. I sometimes forget about that, my love and I am sorry.”
You looked down at him and felt your anger, embarrassment and shame slowly fade. You nodded weakly. “My sweet girl” he whispered and held you face in his palms. “I really appreciate that you did this. That you put up with me as well. I know I haven’t been very communicative with you.” You lightly shrugged and he shook his head. “You can´t just let me get away with these things, my love. Please. I know it´s hard for you, but you can hold me accountable for what I´m doing or saying.”
“Okey” you said and breathed in deep. “You´re right. What you said was absolutely uncalled for. It hurt and embarrassed me. I´m not proud of the way I let things go sometimes. It takes an immense amount of effort to even come to the point of wanting to organise and clean stuff.” John stroked his thumbs lovingly over your cheeks. “And I´m sorry about your phone, John. I promise, I´ll help you find it.” He sighed deeply and pulled your head towards him. Hesitating for a moment to see your reaction, you smiled at him and leaned down more to kiss him. A relieved breath escaped his nose when he kissed you back right away. You detached from him again and with pure joy he saw the light back in your eyes.
“Let´s have dinner and then we´ll look for your phone, yeah?” you asked. He nodded immediately and helped you stand again. He pulled you close by the waist and peppered your face with little kisses until you giggled and tried to wriggle out of his hold.
“Can I help?” he asked. You nodded and gestured towards the fridge. “Could you please get the meatballs out?” John nodded and opened the fridge. Stunned, he stood in front of it for a bit too long. You looked over to him questioningly. “John? What is it? The meatballs are right there.”
He nodded slowly and then his shoulders started to shake with laughter. “What?” you asked perplexed.
John, still giggling, closed the fridge with the platter of meatballs in one hand and his work phone in the other. Your eyes went round and a blush crept up your neck and up to your cheeks. “Oh, Jesus…”
Both of you started laughing again and John went over to you and held you in his strong arms until you both stopped, short of breath. He leaned his head against yours and very softly said “I love you so much.”
König
Laughing hysterically at one of Soap´s jokes you clutched König´s arm next to you and buried your head in his shoulder. The latest mission was over and the 141 decided to wind down at one of the local pubs. König had asked you to join them and shortly after you walked into the pub and jumped into your lovers arms without hesitation. He lifted you up and swung you from side to side before holding your face gently and kissing you long and hard. The whoops and hollers from Gaz and Johnny were ignored by the two of you. You were just happy to be with each other again.
Your happiness bubbled through every pore in your body, the alcohol in your system making you relaxed and buzzing. You´d bantered with Soap the whole evening. The music and over all volume of the pub forced you to raise your voice once in a while. No one seemed to care though.
With a light kiss to König´s cheek you excused yourself to the bathroom and stumbled over to the little door. König watched your with fond eyes, his heart swelling by the minute. Soaps elbow connecting with his ribs and he gave him a sly wink. “So, when´re you goin´ to ask the lass ta marry your arse?” he asked. König´s face lit up immediately. He grinned shily. “I do have the ring already but…I´m really not sure when I should ask.” Johnny nodded. “Best not wait too long my friend” he said wisely. “Yer not the only one noticin´ her. She surely knows how to present herself.” He winked at König.
König´s eyes had a soft look in them. “Yeah, I know.” He said and sighed deeply. “She´s a LOT!”
Just as he said it, he felt your presence next to him and smiled up at you. Said smile vanished immediately when he saw the hurt on your face. He was a bit bewildered as to why you looked at him like her whole world just collapsed. Without saying anything you turned around and stormed towards the doors. “___!” he yelled and scrambled from his seat in the booth going after you.
Outside he looked left and right quickly and spotted you walking briskly away from the venue to his right. He started running and thanks to his long legs it didn’t take him much time to catch up with you. The moment he reached out for your arm and you whipped around shaking it off, his heart broke into a million pieces. Tears were streaming down your face and deep, deep hurt was still edged onto your features. “Liebling, what-?” “I´m a lot, huh? König, do you have any idea how embarrassing that was? You making fun of me in front of our friends?” You hiccupped and wiped your face with your sleeve.
König´s heart began to hammer in his chest. “Making fun of you? I didn´t. How could I make fun of you?” He started hyperventilating a little when you flinched away from his touch yet again. “What´d I do?” he asked in a panicked voice.  You huffed disbelievingly. “You said I was a lot to handle, König. That´s so…rude. You know I can´t control how loud I am sometimes.” König´s eyes went wide.
“A lot to handle….” He whispered desperately. “No. No, Liebling, that´s not what I meant at all!” You gave him a questioning look. “I´d never say something like that about you.”
“Then what did you mean? König, saying someone is a lot, is quite-“
“A lot of perfect!! You´re…you´re perfect” he almost yelled at you, desperate to bring his point across. “I sometimes don’t really know the words to express what I´m trying to say but, mein Schatz….I´d never willingly hurt you or try to put you down like that.”
A feeling of shame overcame you. Here was this wonderful, soft man just trying to get through the day as best he can. You should´ve considered that English wasn’t his first language.
“König” you said breathily and reached out your hand which he immediately took. “I´m sorry. I should´ve talked to you first but…you know, being a bother or too much….it´s just one of the things that make me very insecure.” König lifted your hand to his lips immediately and you could have cried again by the way he so gently kissed your knuckles.
“You´re not too loud, or too talkative, or too forward. You´re too much…you! Sometimes I don´t know how to tell people that I would literally kill for you. That I would do anything to make you happy!”
Your arms wined themselves around his neck as you pulled him down for a passionate kiss. “I love you, König” you said against his mouth. “I´m sorry I stormed out like that.” He shook his head and brushed his nose with yours. “I love you too, my love. So much.” You grinned and hugged him again, having to stand on your tiptoes to do so. He pressed another kiss to your forehead. “Will you come back inside? The evening is still young” he asked. You nodded immediately and took his large hand in yours.
König´s heart raced and he knew exactly what to do to erase every single doubt from your mind. As he guided you back to the pub, his other hand that wasn´t holding yours gently thumbed at the locket around his neck, containing the ring he wanted to give you since day one.
_________________________________________
Thank you so much for reading. Please let me know in the comments what you think about this take. A like and reblog is of course always appreciated <3
Love you and stay safe!
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