#when my husband and i were watching Hawkeye

[rorywritesjunk]

There's no race, no ending in sight

r rating. title comes from "two of us on the run" by lucius

(Casual chapter. Nothing too exciting happens.)

Taglist: @hey-august @thoraeth

pt 1 + pt 2 + p3 + p4 + pt 5 + p6 + pt 7 +Pt 8 + Pt 9 + Pt 10 + Pt 11 + Pt 12 + Pt 13 + Pt 14 + Pt 15 + pt 16 + Pt 17 (End)

Pt 13

They parted ways with Buggy kissing the back of her hand. She allowed it, smiling at him as Alvida led her back to her room to change back into her regular clothes and clean off the makeup to remove any sign of what Sunny had been up to that night. She let Alvida brush her hair out, removing the braids carefully before smoothing her hair out.

"So, you were surprised, weren't you?" Alvida grinned as she finished up with Sunny.

"I really was." She grinned. "Clever lie."

"Not really, I do have a date, it's just tomorrow." She told the blonde as she led her out of her room and out of the tent. "And playing with you gave me some ideas for her, so thank you."

Sunny laughed softly, shaking her head as she followed along. It was a good trick, really, and she appreciated the outcome. It was hard to go back home as she would have preferred to say back, but she had to. She didn't want Crocodile looking for her.

"Did you fall in love with him?" Alvida asked as they left the tent and walked along. "You had stars in your eyes and you couldn't stop smiling at him."

"Maybe... I don't know." She admitted as she stuck her hands in her pockets. "I got married at 19 and... Never loved my husband so I don't really know what it's like to be in love, which sounds silly, I guess."

Alvida shook her head and sighed. "You'll know it when it happens. Buggy won't stop moping about you. He's completely head over heels in love for you."

Sunny huffed softly and looked at her. "I almost wish he wasn't then none of this would be happening, you know? Maybe... Maybe I could have finally left Crocodile had Buggy not been an idiot about this and told him how he felt. How did he expect that to go?"

"He doesn't necessarily think before he acts unfortunately."

"Yea, I've seen that first hand."

Sunny sighed and stopped to look back at Buggy's tent. The bright colors and sounds coming from it made it far more inviting than Crocodile's, but she had to go back to her husband as much as she didn't want to. Alvida parted with her halfway there, letting Sunny walk the rest of the way by herself which she was glad for. She needed to think.

~

A few days passed. It was hard not to want to see Sunny. Buggy paced around the tent, jiggled his leg and tapped his pen during meetings, and even was watching how much he was drinking because he was so focused on coming up with some way to have another 'get together' that wouldn't make Crocodile suspicious.

One time he saw her in the garden, wondering if he could use the excuse that Richie missed her to get her to visit, but when he saw Crocodile making his way over to see her, Buggy went in the opposite direction. He wasn't in the mood for a beat down.

More days. More pining from Buggy.

He wasn't paying attention during one meeting, distracted by the appearance of Sunny bringing them a tray of drinks and snacks. When Crocodile kissed her Buggy's head dropped onto the table. Mihawk cleared his throat while Sunny hurried out, refusing to look at the clown. It hurt.

"It looks like there's an invite to a party on a nearby island." Mihawk said, breaking the tension as he held up a letter. "In a week."

"For everyone?" Buggy asked, rubbing his face as he sat up.

"Yes, you'll be attending as well." Mihawk said as Crocodile leaned back.

"Hawkeyes and I will do all the talking, of course."

Buggy knew he shouldn't ask, but he couldn't stop himself, "Are you bringing your wife?"

Crocodile turned to look at him slowly, a grin on his face. "Of course I will. Maybe I'll even dance with her this time."

"Anyway." The swordsman interrupted them, not wanting a fight to break out. "Just an overnight should be fine. The island has some lovely shops so Miss Sunny could have some fun while us three meet with these investors before the party."

"She'll like that. I'll have her buy herself something pretty for the party."

Buggy snorted and rolled his eyes. He doubted that. Sunny would be undoubtedly forced into some outfit she hated, something that was too tight on her that left marks on her body. Buggy couldn't stop thinking of her in the dress Alvida put her in, how happy and relaxed she look in the flowy material. He didn't want to think of her being miserable at the party.

"She probably shouldn't come if she's going to be a distraction." Buggy scoffed. "We have to talk about business, right? You'll spend half the time grabbing her ass and kissing her."

Crocodile looked at him again as Mihawk just shook his head. "Something you want to say to me about my wife, clown?"

"Just sayin' what I'm thinking." He retorted.

"And what else are you thinking, hm?"

"I'm thinking ab-"

"Gentlemen." Mihawk warned as he put the letter down. "Deal with this outside the room. We have a lot to go over today and I'd rather not waste anymore time with your personal business."

Buggy shrugged while Crocodile looked down at the paperwork in front of him. Pity he couldn't just kill the clown but they did need him to keep attention off him and Mihawk. Maybe they could get rid of him after the party.

~

Sunny wrinkled her nose at the idea of the party. She really didn't want to go. She'd be bored the entire time, Buggy wouldn't be allowed near her, and she'd just have to spend the time snacking and drinking to get by. Even after her husband told her she could go shopping and buy whatever she wanted, she didn't care because she didn't want to go.

"You're coming along." Crocodile told her that night in bed as she laid beside him, arms crossed as she stared up at the ceiling. "Stop acting like a child."

"What's the point? I'll be bored the entire time!" She told him. "I could stay here and tend to the garden!"

"I'm not letting you out of my sight." He chuckled. "There's no telling what you'd do if I wasn't around."

"I'd have less hickeys." She muttered as he pulled her closer to him. She tensed up, looking over at him. "I don't want to tonight."

"I just want to hold you." He murmured, kissing her cheek as he pressed his chest against her back, holding her tightly to him as his hand went to her stomach, rubbing slowly. "I want you to pick out something you'd like for the party, darling."

Sunny frowned and looked back at him. "Really? What do you want me to wear?"

"Whatever you want." He nuzzled her gently; times like this made Sunny wonder if she could have fallen in love with him. She got to see a side of him no one else saw, someone gentle and careful with her at times despite the damage and chaos he had caused to others. "You'll look beautiful in anything."

She nodded slowly, forcing herself to relax in his arms as she wondered what she should look for in the shops. Maybe something pink with a cute print on it. Something comfortable.

[mylittleredgirl]

previously on mylittleredgirl: [four seasons of m*a*s*h] [six weeks of screaming about margaret houlihan]

i have now finished season five disc one and a bullet point recap is due! [yeah there's more screaming in it]

bug out was a fucking DELIGHT

god i was so worried though when klinger had to trade all his dresses i was wailing internally. what if he just wears fatigues forever!?!??? but it's all okay!!!! that tassel mod dress he has on in "the abduction of margaret houlihan" healed me ten times over. his outfits have been 🔥 this season.

such a mix of really dumb slapstick comedy and "oh god the war is Right Here" drama and little character sweetness... love it.

and the family reunion happiness at the end!!!! god bless. i left my body for like thirty-six hours.

i really really love the tone they're striking with frank this season. they've walked back the cartoon villainy of late season four, so he's once again a relatively harmless clown. i breathed a huge sigh of relief. he's soooo much more fun this way.

margaret's engagement: bonkers. delightful. she's unbearable. there is so much wrong with her. i want to study her in a jar. i will never shut up again.

with this put together with some bits later in the disc (including that cut scene crayon joke lmao), did she somehow manage to trade DOWN from frank? is that even possible??? it's either that or this new dude is actually just The Exact Same Guy, but now she'll be the fool wife at home instead of the beloved mistress.

i mean personally if i were louise burns i'd be very happy for my dumbass husband to fuck around on the other side of the world for as long as possible while i enjoy the $35,000 house and two cars without him, but for someone like margaret who is far more interested in being wined and dined than running a household, this... may not be the field promotion she thinks it is.

hawkeye rising to frank's defense and him and b.j. enabling frank's little takedown of margaret at the end felt very real. sure, in the grand scheme of things, margaret is Annoying and frank tried to have hawkeye executed last season, but bros before hos.

okay how FUNNY would it be though if the "little redheaded nurse" frank planned to seduce was baker-from-the-nurses, because she would have scratched frank's eyes out for trying and not felt bad about it

and actually, that's a plausible backstory for the extra bad blood between her and margaret, too??? oh yeah. that definitely happened.

i actively missed frank/margaret as the disc went along though. maybe the show had stretched the tension of that relationship as tight as it could go, and it's nice that they get to do new things... but they're so funny and awful together and i miss them sharing scenes!!!

i really assumed - like frank did lol - that they would continue to rabbit around together, only now she would also get to string him along with the jealousy game, but...... well, i'm glad it's still hanging out in the background of the narrative, anyway. i live in hope that they will slip and fuck and it will be soooo messy.

FUCK is it possible i shipped that for real???? god. i don't know if my family name can bear this dishonor.

out of sight, out of mind...

...has taught us the very important lesson that hawkeye is 9000x more annoying without something to do (annoying to everyone else i mean!! not to me. i will happily watch him annoy everyone.)

him asking b.j. to visit him a million times a day 🥺

i'm almost satisfied now by the "doctor-experiences-the-role-of-patient" theme that i didn't get in "hawkeye." i suppose hurt/comfort fic can take it from here.

however i'm totally satisfied by how sweet it was to see everyone taking care of him!! and how much they love him!!

lt. radar o'reilly... devastating. i mean funny and delightful but it's mean!! so glad that boy is back in stripes. however they could have at least promoted him a little for his trouble. sergeant o'reilly???

i have already said more about the nurses (post here) than ever needed to be said. and yet. i'm quite sure i could say more if pressed

the abduction of margaret houlihan

........ will i never be free of colonel flagg episodes 😞

i love the continuing evidence that she has invested time in learning korean, and i really really really love the slow expansion of our perspective to include like oh yeah. there's a village where people live full time and it's literally right here.

imagine if after the war she becomes an ob nurse...

on the one hand, how do they not make frank do gun handling training. on the other hand they probably don't because it always ends with stitches and an accident report.

i sometimes wonder if mash was like jury duty for asian actors in the 70s. you probably won't get to say anything but they call you up and you just have to go.

dear sigmund!!!!!! this is another episode where people were staring at me through the window so i'll comment a little more:

the fandom's favorite guy sidney freedman deserves that crown. what a weirdo. talk about a busman's holiday for a psychiatrist to come to the 4077 for a vacation and psychoanalyze everyone. but for fun!

i really don't have a proper sense of the geography at play here because he really does like. just come by to play cards once a week. and drives through a war zone i guess to do it? he has probably sacked out in the swamp before when the air raid situation changes but this time he just... doesn't leave.

and aaaa!! margaret took her very special episode about How To Make Friends to heart!!!! she joined the poker game!!!

she had plenty of time to work on that lesson though because the jeremy bearimy time shenanigans are in full swing here at the 4077. we went from midsummer in 'the nurses' to a bitter cold march two episodes later.

i always kind of assumed the mash weather was loosely inspired by real human weather, but no, in fact the actors just have to randomly suffer in parkas or getting sprayed in the face to look sweaty in alternating weeks regardless of the surrounding conditions.

SUFFERING for their ART

also jfc b.j.!!!! dunking frank in cold water in freezing temperatures is a serious health and safety concern my dude!!!!

i'm afraid b.j. is still not beating the little brother allegations, he has just aged up from innocent baby to fucking gremlin

(i should confess that my little brother diagnosis is guided by the fact that in my complex family and housing history i only ever lived with "brothers" younger than me, and never older ones. but the innocent baby and prank gremlin stages are real.)

i made a note here of "margaret randomly drinking gin in the swamp now!!?!??" like the poker game was one thing, people could strong-arm her into that while she feigns protest, but ma'am WHO are you and what have you done with— and then the next note is "oh good she's still insane"

potter named his horse sophie <3 also he's collecting granddaughters, i think the count is up to 3 now. or baby sherry is experiencing a temporal anomaly of her own!

the letter radar wrote to the dead guy's parents and potter reading it... fucking ended me. please let harry morgan do serious bits more often, it's outstanding and far too rare.

it's not surprising that frank's wife changing (wearing pants! doing activities!) would stress him out, and not just because he's a dick. any of them would struggle with their families growing without them, because that means they can Never Go Home to the life they left!! (e.g. trapper losing it because his girls were getting older.) but it is kind of fascinating that he loves both his wife and margaret, and even said mid-fever that he wanted them to be friends, but he also wants them to be NOTHING alike.

all in all it's understandable that sidney would check in to the no boundaries motel to have his poker buddies shake it out of him, but he could also have taken his leave somewhere with indoor heat. so he's as crazy as the rest of them. <3

also they're not his patients he's just observing them like zoo animals so forget confidentiality he's absolutely gonna write a book about them someday.

mulcahy's war: i don't know why i have been misspelling his name with an 'e' the whole time because it was literally in the end credits of almost every episode for four seasons.

oh god he's so precious i don't talk about it enough. playing poker for orphans. feeling like he doesn't do enough while potter thinks he has the hardest job. that unrelenting positive regard for everyone. always with that little grin.

that little grin in FULL PLAY as he sneaks out of the house to go off to war when dad's not looking

radar should never be sent on a mission where people are bleeding when will they LEARN

corporal cupcake deserves every medal he gets!!!!

frank's foot fetish becoming his one true medical specialty is just. i don't know what to do with this. good for him??? do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life???

speaking of unrelenting positive regard, margaret's policy of nurses never talking back to the doctors in the operating room sure has taken a hit. i realize this is about frank being an intolerable ex, but i choose to believe that the detente between margaret and her nurses has turned the O.R. into a pvp zone. the next time hawkeye tries to seduce a nurse over an open body, he's gonna get wrecked and margaret's just going to shrug pretty and look the other way.

in conclusion: season five is soooo gooooooood!!!!! can't wait for disc two!

[iriel3000]

#000000

Summary: #000000 - Black, the absence of any color on a screen. Part 1 of 3

Whumptober day 7: “I paced around for hours on empty; I jumped at the slightest of sounds.” | Radio Silence

Natasha whump, light whump, emotional whump

AN: THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO READ, LIKED OR/AND COMMENTED ON Hurry, She Needs You. I appreciate your support so much !!💘💘💘

“Natasha.”

Steve was surprised to see her jerk at the sound of his voice. Rarely did anyone sneak up on the Black Widow.

Dressed in plain, black leggings and a purple sweatshirt that looked too big to be hers, Natasha sat with her knees up on the ledge of the Tower roof. Worry lines creased her forehead and the dark circles under her eyes stood out against her pale skin.

Natasha Romanov was the most determined, self assured person Steve knew, but right now, she looked...lost.

“I’m sorry, Nat, we haven't heard anything. I just came to check on you.” He sat down beside her, hating that he didn't have better news.

Seventy-two hours had passed since Hawkeye's last check-in. No word, no cryptic message, no ransom from the enemy. His comms were dead and their radar hadn’t been able to detect him or the signature from his arrows.

Steve held out an apple. Natasha refused.

“Name one thing you've eaten in the last two days.”

Reluctantly, she accepted it. But instead of taking a bite, Natasha drew her arm back and whipped the apple across to the opposite rooftop.

“They put a damper on me. I'm not allowed to leave.”

“I know.” Steve said.

"Word travels fast."

“I'm the one who gave the order.”

“What?!” She leapt to her feet. “How could you?”

Steve stood with his hand up.

“I would do the same to him if it were you. We sent a recovery team, Natasha. They will find him.”

“If it was Bucky, we wouldn't be having this conversation. I would be stealing a fucking jet for you!” She paced back and forth, glaring at him as if he betrayed her. "They don't know what they're doing. They don't know how he operates, or where his safe houses are. I’m his partner, I can find him.”

"Nat..."

Steve's phone chimed.

He hid the caller id, doing his best to put on a neutral expression.

"Rogers."

Natasha watched his face for the tiniest of clues.

"I understand. We'll be right down." He hung up.

"Fury?"

"Maria, she needs us downstairs."

"Why?"

"She'll explain when we meet her."

"Is it about Clint?"

"We need to go, Nat."

"Don’t. Don't do that to me, Rogers. What happened? Where's my partner?"

Steve had trouble meeting her eyes.

"Tell me what happened to my husband!"

part 2 cont'd on day 11

[sofiaaaaaaaa03]

Moonknight Scribe of the God Headcannons (Layla, Marc, and Steven)

Request!: Okay ifk how to ask for head-canons? This is my first time so sorry if this is confuesing but!! Can we get some head-canons of layla marcs/steves relationship with y/n (of ur platonic series) omg im so sorry if this sounds weird?? Also make sure to take breaks! And dont rush! 🥰 

Hello! Here are the HCs as requested. I just worked on them as a way to get a feel for how my writing has been since I last wrote, so apologies if some things don't sound right. I hope you enjoy!

Layla headcanons!!

Layla was confused by y/n’s presence when they initially met outside of the windows of Steven’s apartment

But of all of the things that had happened to layla in her life she knew better than to question things and to go with the flow unless deemed a danger

Surely the kid was involved for a reason, right?

Layla definitely thought that out of everything that was happening, your young age was the craziest part about it all

She’d watched the news about a spiderboy over at the northern hemisphere climbing walls and fighting aliens at age 19

Rumors of a young girl , something marvel (?) in new jersey with superpowers

An associate of Layla had sent word that even Hawkeye had taken up an apprentice

For some time Layla had this underwhelming feeling that the next generation of superheroes were getting younger and younger and the fate of the world and public safety was in questionable hands

So yes, when layla followed marc to find the scarab and learned of the presence of the mystical gods and their pursuits, it didn’t preterb her

But when she saw the young avatar, summoning weapons and working for an ancient Egyptian god , all she could do was wonder if having the kid with them was a good thing or not. 

But she trusted her husband, despite his… actions

If Marc was taking the kid with him, despite his obvious grudges, then alright, the kid is coming with them

Layla had this mentality that y/n was simply a coworker

But eventually… she genuinely enjoyed their presence

It was because y/n had shown their soft spot whenever Layla spoke to them

Unlike the sharp, quick witted and snarky demeanor they displayed to Marc and sometimes steven, they had an entirely different personality anytime Layla asked anything of them

“Can you keep an eye on the fire, y/n?”

“Yes ma’am.” And that fire was watched 

“Kid, grab some more firewood.”

y/n would throw marc the finger and begrudgingly do it 

At the first sign of danger, Layla would make sure that you were in her vision at all times

It wasn’t that she didn’t trust y/n

It was just that unlike Marc, who had years worth of experience and age, y/n was still a baby in her eyes

We all know that is far from the truth, but still

After the events of moon knight, Layla made sure to keep tabs on y/n 

Her work took her to all ends of the earth 

She wasn’t able to visit y/n often but when she does she and y/n go out during the day to explore london and get some food from comfort restaurants

y/n, layla, and steven would get together to watch The Mummy 

It’s a tradition to have a movie night for them, Layla’s rule

Layla also likes to speak to you in arabic

She was shocked to find out that you were fluent

Obviously, she takes jabs at Marc for not being as fluent as y/n 

He glowers at the obvious look Layla throws at him whenever she and y/n speak together

y/n likes to learn new dishes to cook from Layla

She isn’t the best cook, but she makes cooking really fun

It was more of a company thing

When they make something, they always use marc as the guinea pig to taste test it

Layla is the kind of person to sneak a pile of salt under a layer of food and give it to y/n to give to marc

Just to cause a little trouble 

Layla is the kind of person that everyone is able to confide in, so y/n feels comfortable speaking to her about anything. Whether its about their day at work or if its about something they saw on tiktok

She also uses this to help quell disputes

“Hey, Marc told me that you were rude to him the other day. It really got to him-” she’ll mention one day over breakfast, trying to get you to go apologize to him

even though layla isn’t great in cooking, she loves to bake

You ask her to make baked good for you and steven as often as you can

You’ve tried countless times to get Layla to bring you to her missions to retrieve stolen artifacts

Initially she refused, claiming that you needed to focus on your studies and your job at the ennead 

But she let you in by asking you for insight about the locations she was heading to. Teaching her the history of the location or the artifact according to the texts in Djehuty’s library.

You were more than happy to help her, and did so everytime she asked until finally she let you go with her to one mission

On the condition that you didn’t wander off and that you would listen to her

You did so of course, because you knew that if you didn’t then she would never trust you to join her to a mission again

Layla is like an aunt to you, it isn’t necessarily her responsibility to take care of you but she is more than happy to be there for you and to enjoy your company

Marc

Marc wanted you close by after the events of Cairo

He was worried that you were carrying some trauma or mental exhaustion after the battle, and while he had full confidence that you were able to take care of yourself he still wanted you to know that he was there for you and make sure you were doing well

He had some experience in coping mechanisms for traumatic events

So for whatever reason you were trying to mask, he was still able to read you like a book

He would invite y/n over for dinner every night after you finished working at the library 

Some nights he didn’t feel like cooking, so you both would go out to eat

Marc is the kind of person to find one restaurant in London and only eat there

“Marc, we’ve eaten here for the last three times. Can we go try another place?”

“What’s wrong, it’s good isn’t it?”

It takes a lot of convincing on your part to get him to budge. When he finally does, you offer up a place that you really enjoy

He trusts your judgment and follows whatever you order.

Marc is the kind of person to nag you if you’re on your phone for too long at any point

He doesn’t want you to be talking to him the entire time, but if he feels like you’re on your phone for too long it will bother him at some point

He’s the kind of person to only listen to rock music

Maybe even old latin rock as well

Whenever its just the two of you hanging out he’ll randomly go “hey listen to this” and play it in the apartment

He’ll do it without asking for ur consent or if you say no

For the most part Marc is able to handle your attitude

But sometimes you can say something that just ticks him off

He’ll snap at you almost immediately 

But, when he bites, you bite back harder

He’ll get fed up with you and absolutely fume for the rest of the day, which doesn’t bother you in the slightest, so you both ignore each other’s presence

This can go on for a very long time, as both of you are too stubborn to reconcile.

Sometimes Marc will simply let Steven front so that he can cool off or simply just getaway

Sometimes Steven will refuse to front, insisting that this was marc’s mess and he had to fix it, not steven

When this happens and no one has made any moves yet, Marc will ultimately sigh deeply and eventually extend an olive branch

He’ll ask if you wanted to go get coffee or something outside of the apartment, to which you give him a look before ultimately agreeing and everything is right in the world

This is their relationship in a nutshell

When they are able to work and live together peacefully one moment

And tension and grudges the next

But its out of love, and respect for one another

Although you both are avatars, Marc will still consider himself to have seniority over you

Completely disregard the fact that you were technically an avatar for longer than him, he considers to have seniority over you because of his age and his experience in the field

Often time this means that he’ll unintentionally undermine your ability or your opinions, but you are very quick to put him in his place and tell him that you can handle the mission

When Marc gives up his position as the avatar for Khonshu, he tells you that he does not judge you for not continuing to work for the gods

He tells you that he admires you for the work and dedication you’ve put into their cause

“You’re the best of all of us,” he’d tell you one day as you sat on the roof of his apartment, late one night, “maybe the gods see what we humans are like through you.”

Steven:

Before the events of moonknight

In the early days steven only knew of y/n as a young librarian at the library close to his work

He didn’t think much of them originally

He knew no one in london and was often drawn away from reaching out to others

People were very rude or dismissive of him 

So he just wanted to make this visit short 

Just get the books and check out 

But they made a comment to a book that he was checking out and he absolutely spiraled

It was a book about farming practices from various civilizations back in the ancient days

He wanted to start gardening as a hobby

So why not learn from the best????

Lots of blabbering

Steven realized he was rambling, and apologized to y/n, hoping they finished checking out his books so that he could leave quickly due to embarrassment

But they were actually okay with his rambling ???

They even indulged into the conversation by recommending similar books in the library that he would have liked

“I can show you if you’d like”

They didn’t even wait for his approval before taking him 

Since that one interaction, steven found trust in y/n to be able to talk to them about anything

Steven would go to the library twice a week at the least

Mostly it was to replace the books he’d gotten the last visit 

He ran through books very quickly 

Late nights and all trying to make sure that the nightmares never came back

But honestly, with each visit he grew more excited to interact with y/n

This happened even after the events during and after the moon knight

When they were traveling to the location of Senfu’s tomb, Steven had a remarkable amount of respect for y/n

it ‘s just

They seemed like they were so sure of themselves when they spoke about navigating to the tomb 

Their confidence and knowledge of the egyptian mythology and folklores

Making connections between the significance of the tomb and to ammit’s demise 

During the drive to the tomb steven would ask y/n all sorts of questions 

He was just

Really really curious

He had to know yknow

At some point, he found out that he’d asked too many questions after y/n threatened to open the door and fall out of the car if he asked one more question

There was a moment of silence as he turned toward the road and shut his mouth

They sighed, and continued answering his questions after

Happy steven : D

Truly it had been a long time since Steven had found someone who was more knowledgeable than him in ancient egyptology

He truly admired y/n

And honestly hoped that he could live up to the expectations given to him by Marc, so that he could make the mission less burdensome not just for marc but for y/n as well

After the events of moonknight, steven was adamant to find a new job to make life feel more normal

He often went to the library to use their computers

y/n had to teach him how to use one properly, but eventually he got it figured out

Steven loved to go on walks after eating a meal

He liked to ask you to go with him, insisting that it was a good way to enjoy the outdoors

Together the two would wander the streets of london, trying new routes, sometimes you would walk into a shop that looked interesting to you, but always always you would visit the park that was adjacent to the apartment complex steven lived in

You had to travel often for the ennead, now that you were under their service

This line of work often meant that y/n was away from the moonknight system for a few days to several weeks, often with very little contact due to discretion

Whenever you were away, eventually a postcard would be sent to steven

He’d pick it up from the front desk of his apartment, shifting through letters until he finally got to the postcard

It sent a lot of relief to him, seeing postcards from Myanmar, Beijing, El Salvador, Egypt, the States

“Dear Steve, I’m having a great time here in New York. I think you’d be happy to know my internship is going well, I even made some new friends. Sending you lots of love, y/n.”

“Marc, remember how you said you always wanted to go here? I’m having a good time and can’t wait to go back to see you guys. Goodbye from Guatemala, y/n.”

“Steven, I’ve made my way to Belgium for some time for a weekend getaway. I’ll be home soon!”

Steven knew, despite these generic writings, that each post card sent to him was your way of telling him that you were safe and where you were at the time. 

When y/n came back, steven tries his best to be there to greet you when you arrive 

Sometimes he makes it on time, and sometimes he completely loses track of the time and misses your arrival

Whatever is the case, he doesn’t worry too much considering that you have a knack for finding him 

Anytime you come over to the apartment, whether you’re with Marc or there for Steven, there is always a cup of your preferred tea made for you at any point

Steven never misses a chance to make you smile, he knows that you have a lot on your plate as an avatar for djehuty and working for the ennead, so he tries his best to remind you that you’re still a kid and you’re allowed to have fun

Unlike Marc, steven is able to take your sassiness in a light hearted manner and even go back at you

Unlike marc again, you are able to take it well and you both just sass each other 

You introduced steven to fictional books and got him to fall in love with Rick Riordan’s works

Although Steven absolutely adored the Kane Chronicles, he fell in love with Percy Jackson

He’ll talk to you for hours on end about what he’s read about and how he wishes that a greek god had chosen him rather than khonshu

He’ll try to ask you if they were even real, which you frankly admitted you had no conception on if they were real 

Surely they were, but you had never once had an encounter with one of them or even a representative, and the gods seemed to dismiss the idea

Whenever the two of you are together, you either talk or simply enjoy each other’s company while doing your own thing

-------

@astrobuzzsstuff

@blustalker

@thekaibabes@nerds4life246 @samanthacookieone @thekaibabes @kiara-is-gay @pcotato @sagedgeek @blustalker @atzlena @xiernia @dheet @astrobuzzsstuff @lourecovette @fezlvr @wanderingmaximoffs @jay-alison @dweeb-central @theseawa @mothperson666 @yeetyeetchickenmeat @allynplays @raylan-c @crowpop

 @maryvon3002 @flyingmushroomss @livpoststhings @lunalixya @jvdethirlwall @ihatemyselfmorethanmydepressionydepression @childofthemoon7 @daughterofthequeen @forgetful-cupid @lunalixya @voonha

[ohtobeleah]

There’s a video on Lauren’s instagram where Glen is dancing outside with his nephew and all I could think about when I saw it was uncle Hangman visiting Chaos and Rooster. Nicks been plagued with his night terrors and uncle Jake is taking him outside to count the stars and suddenly it becomes a dance party at 3:30 in the morning.

Chaos & To Have & To Hold

Is this the one you were talking about? If so yes.

Roosters got his fresh out the womb baby girl in his arms, up having an early morning feed—burping her softly after you heard Nick screaming and had to go calming him down.

Jakes running out into the hall like the house is on fucking fire because that kids got a set of lungs.

“What’s wrong? Who’s dying?” Jakes asking all the questions.

“It’s just Nick.” Oh the sight of Bradley Bradshaw holding his baby girl, only two weeks old, Jake would never get used to it. How was this fucking guy a father of three before Jake was even a father of one. Soon—expecting, but still baking in his wife. He couldn’t wait. “Night terrors.”

“Okay, why don’t we just sit in the living room and calm down before we try to fall asleep again okay?” Jake felt like he fell into a parallel universe whenever he watched his friends actually parent.

“I have an even better idea—“ Jakes smirking as he’s scooping a teary eyed, tired Nick Bradshaw up into his arms. “I’ve got this one covered you two.” He’s beaming at you and Bradley who just stand there confused as Jake walks out the front door with your son.

Only to walk out a few moments later to see this:

Chaos is imminently texting Hawkeye:

“Come get your husband.” With the video attached. Which is met with a simple but snarky reply.

“He’s not my problem again until Sunday morning, until then it’s just me and the bun in the oven.” You smiled with a soft chuckle before another text is coming through from Hawk. “Send him home any earlier and I’ll send him right back to the sender Bradshaw.”

[full---ofstarlight]

tagged by @sun-marie for this "people you'd like to know better" tag game! ty for the tag :3c

--

THREE SHIPS: 

resisting the urge to fill this with my oc x canon ships, sO:

Roy Mustang x Riza Hawkeye from Fullmetal Alchemist I recently finished a book where within the first few chapters, I looked up on the subway and put the book down and squinted, thinking to myself wait. Is this Royai fanfic? Turns out, it probably was! The author posted about finishing the manga back in 2019, the book came out in 2022 (I think) and was billed as Fullmetal Alchemist meets (Something I can’t remember). Anyway, Royai has my entire heart, because if there’s one trope that has a stronghold on me it is Dedicated Leader with a Mission x Their Unflinchingly Loyal Second-in-Command Who Will Literally Follow Them Into Hell. The mission comes first! They cannot admit their love to each other! They’re also childhood acquaintances????? An apprentice x master’s daughter????????? And atoning for war crimes?????????????????? AHhHHHHHhHHhHHHHHHHHHHHH. 

Haymitch Abernathy x Effie Trinket from The Hunger Games: Listen. Listen. I’m rereading the series now and apparently what happens when you read them ten years later is that instead of having a big crush on Finnick and shipping Finnick x Annie, you notice that Haymitch is a fantastic smart, snarky, tortured character and Effie is way more resilient and clever than she lets herself on to be and IDK I JUST. Must resist the urge to write the events of the Main Trilogy, but oops Haymitch and Effie were secretly hooking up the whole time. I have stuff to do. I have other fic to write!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Leorio x Kurapika from Hunter x Hunter: At any given moment, they are constantly in the back of my mind. I have my bad HxH brainworms from 2021 to thank for getting me back into fic and tumblr fandom and I just pulled a 35K fic outta my ass in 2021 somehow and even though I'm not writing for them much anymore, I love them with my whole damn heart and I can summon that love with a snap of my fingers.

LAST FILM:

I had to watch a movie for work last week that is out this week and I really wanted to like it but it disappointed me SO MUCH. :’( 

CURRENTLY WATCHING:

I’m kicking off Season three of The Legend of Korra! I finally at long last watched ATLA this year (I KNOW I KNOW), and now I’m working my way through Korra. I’m also watching Spice and Wolf and the new seasons of JJK and Spy x Family. 

CURRENTLY READING:

I am rereading the Hunger Games trilogy! I also checked out three new books from the library and I'm torn on which one I should bring on Thanksgiving vacation (it's an Agatha Christie, a dark contemporary fantasy, and a witchy rom-com). Might go with the Christie since it is the Lightest (like, physically).

CURRENTLY CONSUMING:

Chunky Monkey Ice Cream <3 (I have a pint in the fridge that my husband specifically got just for me since he's allergic to banana)

Ibuprofen for my sore shoulder :(

Coral Island

CURRENTLY CRAVING

A vacation that doesn't involve traveling to two different large Thanksgiving celebrations

A massage for said sore shoulder

A cup of tea (this one, at least, can easily be fixed)

--

taggingggg @theladysarmor @kelofmindelan @maryxoliver @rowingtherubicon @cynda-queer @gwaindrifter @birbycakes @n7viper @gwynbleidd and uhhh anyone who wants to do this!!!!! i will read your thing!

[trappper-johnathan]

writing patterns (tag game)

rules: list the first line of your last 10 (posted) fics and see if there's a pattern!

Thank you @remyfire for tagging me!!! It's an honor 🫡

Working backwards from most recent:

1) Margie lay tucked against Hawkeye’s body, idly playing with the sparse hair on his chest as she watched it rise and fall with his steady breathing. [Don't Worry, Your Husband Won't Mind]

2) The O.R. was empty except for Doctors Pierce and McIntyre, Nurse Bayliss, and the fiercely wounded soldier on their table. [To the Things That Are New]

3) The 4077 had decided to celebrate Halloween. [Ride 'em, Cowboy]

4) Trapper sat completely still. [Sit, Stay, Speak]

5) Hawkeye had been stationed at the 4077th for a little under a month when it happened. [To My Stomach]

6) It was movie night again at the 4077, and after a long, grueling week, the majority of the personnel were seated in the modified mess tent to watch. [Far, Far Away]

7) Radar loved when it rained. [Four Tiny Paws, Eight Stolen Hearts]

8) The rain was coming down hard, which was nothing new. [Together is the Only Way]

9) “I’ll suck you off for a three-day pass,” Hawkeye said from where he was lounging on one of the chairs in Henry’s office. [We're All Winners Here]

10) Trapper was scared. [Leaving on a Jet Plane]

My god, these sentences are so short! I feel like I'm always droning on and on, but not when it comes to my openers, I guess. I checked the rest of my works too, and yup! Same pattern shgfshfg. Not beating the middle school "attention-grabbing" essay opener allegations smfh.

Anyway, this was fun!! I haven't read any of these since I published them, which, for quite a few is pushing a year now :0 Time, amiright?

Thanks again, Remy! MUAH!

Tagging: I'm gonna be honest, I can't really remember who is and isn't a fic writer.. So if you see this on my page and want to do it, you can say I tagged you!! Because I did in my heart <33 Love and peace 🤞

[prince-of-elsinore]

4 povs fic!!

Ok! So that is my languishing MASH wip. It's post-canon, a couple years after the war, and the main pairing is beejhawk of the mutual-pining type (although there is a surprise other past pairing as well). 4 povs is because I planned one chapter each from the perspective of BJ, Peg (BJ's wife), Hawkeye, and Daniel (Hawkeye's dad). (So far only BJ's and Peg's sections are complete.) It takes place over the course of one evening, night, and morning full of revelations and reminiscences that cause the characters to reevaluate their relationships.

I got the idea for the fic after watching a production of Cat on a Hot Tin Roof and seeing a lot of parallels between Brick, the closeted husband, and BJ. I wanted to write a confrontation like the one between Big Daddy and Brick, where Big Daddy makes (surprisingly nonjudgmental) insinuations about Brick's relationship with his late best friend. Brick is torn apart by the accusation and tries to deny it:

BRICK: Normal? No!–It was too rare to be normal, any true thing between two people is too rare to be normal. Oh, once in a while he put his hand on my shoulder or I’d put mine on his, oh, maybe even, when we were touring the country in pro-football an’ shared hotel-rooms we’d reach across the space between the two beds and shake hands to say goodnight, yeah, one or two times we– BIG DADDY: Brick, nobody thinks that that’s not normal! BRICK: Well, they’re mistaken, it was! It was a pure an’ true thing an’ that’s not normal.

I mean! Is that not so very BJ and Hawkeye?? Anyway, that gave rise to a fic where BJ has been trying, like Brick, to numb the pain of a sexless marriage and separation from Hawkeye with alcohol. BJ's parents are over for dinner, BJ gets quite drunk, and everything unravels:

****preview****

B.J.’s mouth opens. He closes it. “You seem to know more about my marriage than I’ve told you.” He looks at Peg, whose hand is shielding her eyes in mortification.

“For God’s sake, B.J.!” his father goes on. “You’re a civilian now. Your place is with your wife and child.”

“Who said it’s not?” he says petulantly. He feels ambushed and contrary.

“You need to believe it with your heart.”

“Trust me, I’m not secretly yearning for the rats and fleas of Uijeongbu,” he sneers.

“That’s not what I’m talking about.”

“Well, what are you talking about then? I’m on tenterhooks, Dad.” Anger prickles at his skin, pounds in his skull. He needs to reel it back or he won’t be able to stop. But it feels so good to open the valves. It’s been festering too long. This dark, hot thing, this fury, at all of them, expecting him to slip back into the life he had before the war as if he could possibly fit, as if the very shape of him hasn’t changed. They don’t care about who he is, who he’s become. They want the old B.J. back. Get in line, he thinks. The only person not clamoring for that old B.J., good ol’ good tempered get-along B.J., is on the other side of the country. And B.J.’s managed to drive even him away.

“All right, then.” His father’s face is deadly serious. Suddenly B.J. second guesses his challenge. “What happens in war, between soldiers…that’s foxhole comfort. You wouldn’t be the first man to need it, and you won’t be the last. But it’s time to wake up. You’re not in the foxhole anymore.”

B.J.’s mouth opens. He drops his gaze to his fork. He wonders how much he’d have to drink before he could stab it into his hand and not feel a thing.

“You think I’m a queer.” It slips from his brain to his mouth before he can stop it.

Peg makes a small noise. Bea’s hand jumps to the small silver cross around her neck. Even his father has the decency to look chagrined.

B.J. is as shocked as them. It’s not a word he uses. It’s a medical condition, and B.J. is a man of medicine. He prides himself on his tolerance, his willingness to treat anyone who comes to him for help. He knows homosexuals exist, and he’s never been fussed about it. He’s sympathetic, even—everyone’s got their own burden to carry in this life. But that’s not his burden.

“I didn’t say that,” says Jay cautiously. “One indiscretion—”

B.J. barks an ugly laugh. “You think, Hawkeye and I—you think we—indiscretion—”

“Now, calm down, son—”

“Who put that idea in your head?” B.J. glares at his father. Even as the words leave him he knows the answer. He turns to his wife. She won’t look at him. “Peg?” he asks. The numb unreality of the situation is draining away, leaving nothing but the anger. “You think I’m a queer?”

Peg closes her eyes. “B.J.,” she whispers. “I don’t want to have this conversation in front of your parents—”

B.J. is slamming his fork down on the table before he’s conscious of the urge to do it. He shoves his chair back and stands. If he stays in this room he’s going to lose it. He steps towards the hallway.

“So you deny it?” his father booms behind him. “If you’re not a—a queer—give me one good reason to believe you!”

That word, from his father’s lips, cuts through B.J. like a scalpel. He spins around. “Nothing happened between me and Hawkeye! Nothing!” The windowpanes ring with the force of his denial. “You don’t know the first thing about me and Hawkeye! How could you? You weren’t there! You don’t know what it was like! Living the way we did. If you can call it that. It wasn’t life. It wasn’t anything. And the only reason I’m still here is because of him.” His throat is torn raw but he keeps going. “And you think—just because two men—love each other, and need each other—? You’re the one who’s sick!”

His father regards him from behind the fortress of his wizened face. “Then why haven’t you slept with your wife in a year?”

The calm accusation, the certainty behind it, knocks the wind from B.J.’s lungs. He clutches the back of his chair for support. He wants to scream, stamp his feet like a child in the face of his father’s implacable will. His father won’t back down, not till B.J. bends or breaks entirely. And in front of his mother. In front of his wife. He’s never felt so humiliated and small.

“B.J.,” Peg ventures. As if speaking to a spooked horse. “Let’s finish this conversation later—”

“You told them I was a queer.” It rips from his chest in a vicious whisper.

“B.J., please—”

“You told them I was a queer!” It’s not a whisper anymore. It’s a howl. “You told them I was a queer!” He bends double over his chair.

Peg is crying. B.J.’s vision blurs and he realizes he is, too. But he can’t stop and he can’t hold back. “You told them I—you—you told them—you told them,” he wails. “You told them…”

He hears himself. He knows how it sounds. He doesn’t have the strength to deny it.

****end preview****

Thanks so much for the ask!

[yorshie]

Hi Yorshie!

(Edit from the future. I'm sorry this is so long)

I'm the same annon who mentioned the Leo and Hawkeye comparison, and I actually really liked and agree with your opinions! I didn't know how to articulate them before, and it's actually been a long minute since I've seen any MASH, but I really loved your analysis of the characters! I absolutely agree 100% that the similarities are on the surface, but once you get down into the meat of their personalities and how they handle conflict (past their masks), they really are very different. I think I initially considered the two very, very, very similar because I have been considering some of the Fandoms more angsty aus of Leo instead of the original version from the cartoon. Either way, thank you so much for writing a whole character analysis just for little o'l me! *happy spin*

I still like the characters and their similarities a lot, and I wonder how they would bounce off each other if they ever did meet? I don't know when or how that would happen, but would they be friends? would their competitive nature's create conflict? friends to enemies over the course of the war? could they even become enemies when all they want is for the fighting to. just. stop?! would they initially bond of their similar mask styles and then later grow resentful when Leo would inevitably rise *giggles* up to the challenge? hmm. I also think there would be a ton of comedy potential in a character pairing like that if you also consider their age gap. Would Pierce find Leo's teen antics amusing and remind him of himself when he was a teen, or would they constantly be at odds because Leo has No Respect for authority?

My parents would leave M*A*S*H on the TV when I was a kid, so I remember seeing the characters all the time, which is how I know anything about it at all. A couple of years ago, I sat down to watch it from the beginning and in order. While I enjoyed it, I got distracted in the middle and never picked it back up, so I wouldn't really be able to call myself much of a fan, I guess. That being said, my favorite character from M*A*S*H has always been B.J. Honeycut! I was a prankster when I was a kid, and I loved that even though he was an adult, B.J. also liked to clown around and be silly. He also really loves his wife and child, and he actively misses them all the time.

(also gives Henry Blake and Trapper John the grinchiest side-eye I can muster)

I'm thrilled you got to see the movie and that you enjoyed it! I love the Rise movie so much that when I had to get my first root canal, I picked it to watch during my appointment to help keep me calm (I had already seen it 5 or 6 times lmaooo) and I actually giggled several times while the dentists were hollowing out my molar (my husband, there for emotional support, couldn't believe it 😅🤣)

Thank you again for sharing your art, time, and energy with us! (Continue to hydrate friend! Many hugs)

Hello Nonnie! Thank you for coming by again! Absolutely don't worry about the length of the ask lol it's all good.

(Side bar before I get into the Leo and Hawkeye talk, at least Trapper had an agreement with his wife. Idk if that agreement included she could do as she pleased while he was away at the war, but he was at least up front about his infidelities.)

I think if Hawkeye and Rise Leonardo were ever to meet, it would be an explosion of many different things at once. First and foremost being, I think it would break Hawkeye a little bit. Let's not forget that Leo would be sixteen at the time of the movie (if that's when they would meet) and I imagine Hawkeye would 1. be insanely angry a kid was risking his life, followed by 2. insanely angry to hear that this kid blames himself for everything bad happening. I think it would be a complete 180 if Hawkeye met Leo when he was older, maybe further into the war, because as much as a wonderful character Hawkeye is I don't think he could be in the same room with the man that "started the war" without busting a vein to is heart and dying on the spot or having a complete mental break. (i know you say you haven't watched the show a lot so I won't spoil specific things but Hawkeye's state of mind is a reoccurring factor)

I think they'd get along personality wise if Hawkeye never found out Leo was "responsible" for the war. And since Hawkeye has no respect for authority himself, I don't think Leo having none would bother him at all. Probably hijinks would ensue though lol, i mean it is Rise after all.

BJ is by far one of the best characters in M*A*S*H. I think my favorite episode with him (that's not heavy) is Dear Siegfried, and I'd recommend it if you haven't seen it yet. The best part about M*A*S*H is how real each character feels, how they each have their own goals and flaws.

Included some M*A*S*H gifs for you hehe

[variousqueerthings]

Was thinking about what you said about the likelihood BJ never sees any of them / Hawkeye again, and besides the very interesting cocktail of emotions that idea makes me feel (agreement and denial at war, essentially), it inevitably got me thinking about the Trapper & BJ comparison again.

I think about BJ calling out, I'll see you in the states, I promise! and the smile he wears. and I think the reason it hits so hard is bc in the moment when he says it, he absolutely does mean it? the flush of emotion in those big life moments can make everything seem undeniable e.g. "you mean a lot to me, so of course we will see each other again". but ofc people don't live in those big life moments.

it's so easy to envision BJ finding a way to integrate Korea into the greater lie that is his life (easier to do when it's over, in the past and subject to whatever framing he chooses to give it). the truth he can't face in the moment of goodbye is that it really IS goodbye, that Korea-as-it-was and Hawkeye do not fit in the life he told himself he burned to get back to.

(Hawkeye was so tired, I got the impression he implicitly understood all this about BJ and wearily accepted it even though it hurt -- another way GFA knocked me down; sometimes people are not as strong for the people they love as they'd hope, and sometimes you just have to accept that it's going to hurt and there's nothing to be done.)

With Trapper, I think it is also very likely he never sees Hawkeye again, or at least not for a very long time. But I don't think he ever lied to himself about it; he seemed like a "ripping the bandaid" type. the pain of not seeing hawkeye again is one he is willing to confront and accept (and inflict?)

(...apologies, this didn't end up being as coherent as I'd hoped, I sat down with coffee on my break and started rambling in your inbox lol)

OK FRIEND WE ARE HERE WE ARE QUEER WE ARE (STILL SICK AND RUMINATING OVER YOUR WORDS BUT I GOT ABOUT FIVE HOURS SLEEP LAST NIGHT BUT I THINK THAT BRINGS OUT MY BEST RAMBLES SO!)

"I think the reason it hits so hard is bc in the moment when he says it, he absolutely does mean it" <- oh heck yes, BJ is -- to me -- the character on this show who faces all of this experience the least, including the bits that, despite everything, were good. he's got that increasingly at-odds-with-his-outbursts genial type of "everything will be fine" attitude right up until the last moment we see him.

something about the best lies are the ones we believe ourselves and the things he's going to be slapped in the face with when he gets home, despite knowing that it's not the home he left (also do we think he shaves off the moustache, yay or nay? if he does, I put that down to the commitment to put on the "nice young husband/father/veteran/doctor/community man" man again, for better or for worse, but if he keeps it, I'll assume it's his one concession, because I doubt he'll actually properly talk about anything).

Trapper was weary and pragmatic and (correctly) pessimistic way back in ceasefire (although he allowed Hawkeye to be hopeful for the most part, I like the read that Trapper tries very hard to not bring Hawkeye down, but occasionally how he really feels just slips out), not to mention the way he talked in mail call.

Who was it that said Trapper's speech about the war in mail call is basically Hawkeye's journey's-end by s11, because um... ouch.

I just watched my first Mike Farrell interview yesterday (the first interview I've seen with any cast member except for Alan Alda, and it was very emotional, but at least I didn't tear up as Mr Farrell himself did!) in which he said that he imagines they'll see each other at least once again, and that BJ would "walk across America" to see him -- but then he also added that it wouldn't be same, which was quite a sad little amendment to what until that point seemed like his personal BJ/Hawkeye is end-game headcanon.

Whether or not BJ and Hawkeye do see each other again (and purely geographically, there's a higher chance of Hawkeye bumping into Trapper, especially considering the fact that Charles is in Boston and I like the idea of Charles and Hawkeye getting surprisingly close after the war -- surprising to them of course, they have more in common than they'd admit!) I would love to know (but would be afraid to ask) Mr Farrell what he feels about how they left things, and how that might play into one or two odd reunions.

I've gone deep down a rabbit-hole of thinking about all of this in terms of BJ's issues (and Hawkeye's issues -- I say this over and over again, but was BJ wrong when he felt like he was Trapper's replacement, and to rage against the box he'd been put into that didn't really allow him his own personhood. On a meta sense, if Hawkeye knows they're in a haunted narrative, then BJ specifically is aware that he is Trapper's shadow and he doesn't like it! and I don't think it helped with everything else that was going on) and so the idea of fluffy mutually healing BJ and Hawkeye doesn't really gel with me, because they've hurt each other -- and BJ has really hurt Hawkeye, sometimes in very pointed, somewhat vindictive-seeming ways -- a lot!

But would BJ romanticize it in his head after he got back and real life there got hard to handle (as I imagine it will for him)? Would he smooth out the rough parts and -- who knows -- create outright lies to fix things (in which BJ Hunnicutt creates the ultimate AU) -- he and Hawkeye were the best of friends after all, and he says in their last scene that he doesn't know how he would have made it without him (I cannot go back and look at the wording, I cannot go back and look at that episode yet, I'm not strong enough!) so he's not wrong when he remembers just how important Hawkeye was to him.

The ways in which Hawkeye at times becomes a kind of stand-in for Peg (or, that is, the wife that BJ has in Korea -- I said this in another post, but I want to reiterate that I use "wife" deliberately, because I hc BJ veering wildly between acting with Hawkeye as his male best friend, and BJ treating Hawkeye like his put-upon spouse, because he's just... real fucked up about his actual wife, but then also at times they're a gay couple), versus the idea that Peg could start to be the butt of comparisons to Hawkeye?

I'd have to think about that one some more, now I've just written it. It depends on the Flavour of post-war fucked up BJ.

Anyway, Mike... Mike, care to go into detail about it not being the same? Do you think BJ will be able to live a life of benignly empty oppressive polite middle-class heterosexual suburbia after all of this? Would he just... carry on, living the dream (the dream here being used as in a literal sense that he builds the fantasy to cope)?

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: West Coast Avengers #35: The VOICE of DOOM

August, 1988

The man who would be DOOM!

Wait so Doom would be Doom? Why isn’t he Doom right now? Isn’t Doom primarily known for being Doom? What’s the deeeeeeal?

-flips ahead- Ah ha. Well then that’s wrong on two levels. Another lying cover smh.

Anyway.

What have the West Coast Avengers been up to?

Lots of drama.

Remember the time that Mockingbird manslaughtered a cowboy during cowboy times for drugging her into being his girlfriend? Phantom Rider remembers because he was that cowboy. And now he’s trying to ruin her life. Afraid that her teammates and husband would sympathize if Mockingbird came clean about what happened to her, Phantom Rider told Hawkeye, Wonder Man, and Tigra before she could. They believe this random cowbody and are mad at her for doing a murder.

Mockingbird did tell Scarlet Witch, the Vision, the Wasp, Dr Pym, and Moon Knight and they were sympathetic.

Oh yeah, Scarlet Witch, the Vision, and the Wasp are here.

The other half of the drama is Hank Pym drama. He heard a rumor on the net that his dead wife was not dead and the West Coast Avengers plus the Wasp flew out to Hungary to investigate. Turns out it was a ruuuuuuse by Quicksilver who is in one of his asshole phases again. He also teamed up with a bunch of Hank’s old enemies who captured the Avengers.

Thanks in part to Phantom Rider, the Avengers break out of the super jail and escape Hungary. But Tigra forgot to put on the anti-get-shot-down defenses so the Quinjet gets shot down and they crash in Latveria.

Home of Doom.

And that’s why Doom is on the cover.

And that’s why Doom is watching Hawkeye and Mockingbird sleep.

See, it all comes together.

You might think that’s a bit short for a Doom and maybe its some random nine year old that’s had Doom doomloaded into his brain but that’s clearly ridiculous sedition.

This is Doctor Doom.

And he’s very upset that the (West Coast) Avengers have invaded Latveria.

Mockingbird insists nuh uh, they didn’t invade, they crash landed. But she doesn’t want to tell Doom they were fleeing Hungary so she doesn’t.

Hawkeye yells that Doom is a nine year old and gets TZAPP for his trouble.

Let that be a lesson.

Do not yell at Doom.

Use your inside voice. So says DOOOOOOOM!

Doom graciously explains that they are ignorant idiots who have been fed misinformation by the Fantastic Four.

Yes, Doom inhabits the body of Kristoff Vernard. He does not dispute that. But Doom mind swapping into bodies is nothing new. He walked around inside Daredevil for a while. And was still Doom.

Therefore, despite this body being more compact than usual, Doom is Doom. And he’ll zap you if you disagree.

Of course, there is the matter of a completely different guy out there claiming to be the real Doom who has the convincing argument that he is in the original body.

Compact Doom says “that imposter is a dangerous lunatic who stole my true body!”

Englehart, I’m begging you. Please do not have the other Doom show up. I already have to deal with a bunch of Kangs in the East Coast Avengers book. I don’t want to have to be like Cape Doom and Beard Doom and Doom But Lady! Just... please. This Doom and no Doomer.

...

So Mockingbird says Reed Richards said that the other Doom is the true Doom and Compact Doom is like bah, but have you noticed that Reed Richards fucked off somewhere after coming to that conclusion?

And sure, he’ll argue that he was taking a leave of absence to spend more time with his son. WHICH IS A WISE DECISION TO MAKE WHEN THERE’S A BODY SNATCHING LUNATIC ON THE LOOSE!

DOOM’S LOGIC IS UNASSAILABLE!

Mockingbird wants to continue arguing with the dude who has an answer for everything but Hawkeye interrupts because he has some questions about why they’re in a fancy bedroom and not in a jail cell.

Doom: “Through no fault of my own, Clint Barton, I am in a war with the imposter! He is attempting to enlist allies in an insane plan to attack Latveria and remove me from my throne! Therefore, I seek allies myself!”

According to a friend who reads FF, this Kristoff plot is pretty damn stupid. But over in West Coast Avengers land, it looks funny to have Doom fighting a secret war with Doom, and one of them is stuck in a nine year old’s body.

I don’t want multiple Dooms in THIS book but I do want to know that somewhere out there, those multiple Dooms were in the same room at the same time yelling about how they were the one true Doom.

Doom reveals that he knows that they were fleeing Hungary. While the West Coast Avengers were unconscious, he contacted the Hungarian Ministry of Defense and got the low down.

Hungary has offered Doom an alliance if he returns the West Coast Avengers to them. But Doom would prefer to have the West Coast Avengers as his allies. So he’ll set them free if they agree to help when the time comes for him to engage the Imposter Doom.

He gives them until midnight to decide and then walks out of the guest bedroom.

Hawkeye tries to chase after him to continue the conversation but an energy barrier bounces him back into the room.

Hawkeye: “His finest room is still a prison! I’m sick a’ prisons!!”

Meanwhile, the rest of the West Coast Avengers (and guests).

In much less nice quarters.

Hank Pym has been put in a helmet that will squish his head if he tries to size change anything. Scarlet Witch’s hands have been put in those giant manacles people use in comic books - preventing her from making the hand movements she needs to do to do her probability manipulation. Some kind of energy barrier has been set up in the wall that prevents Vision from phasing through or from punching through in his diamond hard form. Wonder Man is wrapped in a harness that drains his energy. Annnnnd... Wasp has been left free to fly around the room but there’s no gap that she can slip through tiny sized.

(I don’t see Moon Knight or Tigra here but I assume they’re somewhere.)

Hank suggests Wasp try to grow antenna and summon ANTS. He can’t do it for her because of the head squishing helmet. So she clenches and goes UHNNNNNHH! and out pops the antenna.

But... dangit, there’s no insects in the whole castle! That wily Doom thinks of everything!

Aforementioned compact Doom comes in and informs the captured West Coast Avengers and guests that he will free them if Hawkeye agrees to aid Latveria.

Scarlet Witch defiantly says she and her husband will never help Doom! So Doom drops some continuity on her.

Doom: “I would remind you that you have done so before, witch! All of you have! It was before the Avengers split in twain -- Dr. Pym was Yellowjacket, and Wonder Man was newly risen from the dead -- but all of you were there! We joined forces against Attuma the Sea-Barbarian, because he was a threat to our common interests!”

Scarlet Witch: “We had different goals!”

Dr Pym: “We turned against you as soon as Attuma was defeated, and you ran! And it wasn’t you anyway!!”

Doom: “Calm yourself, doctor! With the defeat of Attuma, my purpose was accomplished, so I had no need of remaining! I always accomplish my purpose -- and whatever you think of me, the defeat of the lunatic who stole my body is clearly of benefit to everyone!”

Wonder Man points out that beating up Doctor Doom IS kinda what Avengers are about. Which Hank rejects because they’d be beating up one Doom to help another.

Plus: he’s only interested in finding out if his wife is alive.

Hank... what the fuck. You... you still think it could be legit? When Quicksilver all about said it was a ruse? WHEN HER DEAD BODY WAS FOUND AFTER SHE WAS KIDNAPPED??

This is just sad, dude.

Scarlet Witch backs up Hank, saying they should focus on Hank’s totally dead wife and that whole Quicksilver being a dick thing. Which Wasp seconds.

But Vision says, basically, ‘there is logic in what he says’ about Wonder Man’s point.

Doom shrugs and goes well you have until midnight to decide, toodles.

Elsewhere, we see where Tigra and Moon Knight are.

Doom doesn’t really know them so he’s put them in a gauntlet of deadly traps to study their strengths and weaknesses.

Tigra: “Study us? How?”

Oh that wacky Doom!

I’m really curious about that ribbon gun.

Doom watches the two heroes being put under various trials for about seventy minutes before stalking off elsewhere.

And time is tick tick ticking away.

It was sunset when Doom delivered his ultimatdoom to Hawkeye and Mockingbird. It’s been at least an hour past that.

So lets check on that drama bomb.

Hawkeye has spent the time moodily staring out a window so he doesn’t have to look at Mockingbird and she finally asks why he’s avoiding her.

Hawkeye: “You know why! The Phantom Rider told us everything, Bobbi! You as good as killed him!”

Mockingbird is shocked that the cowboy creep went and told Hawkeye but she asks if he explained why. But Hawkeye declares it doesn’t matter why, context doesn’t exist, Avengers don’t kill, period, end of story.

Mockingbird: “I didn’t kill him! I let him die, because he drugged me -- forced me to love him!”

Hawkeye: “That’s not what he says!”

Mockingbird: “What?! You believe him instead of me?!”

Hawkeye: “I don’t want to -- but you haven’t played straight with me so far!”

Mockingbird: “Why you big creep!!”

They’re both far too proud by half. So this conversation only escalates into yelling. With Mockingbird put on the wrong foot by not being able to broach the topic, she’s getting mad instead of showing the sincerity that made the jail buds listen with such sympathy.

Whether or not he believes Phantom Rider or Mockingbird, Hawkeye is mostly just hurt. Hurt that Mockingbird didn’t trust him enough to confide in him.

And why should she trust him, if this is how he’s going to be? shoots back Mockingbird. She says that he’s too caught up in the Avenger thing (to sympathize with what she’s been through, is the subtext) and he shoots back that if she’s not so caught up in the Avengers thing, she doesn’t have to be in the Avengers at all!

WELL SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO BE IN THIS MARRIAGE AT ALL THEN.

So despite the hope spot last issue that Clint Barton could be a people and sympathize with the extraordinary circumstances that led Mockingbird to not stop a cowboy from falling off a cliff, the two just yell at each other.

Alas.

And invisible, inaudible, intangible Phantom Rider is loving this.

Back in Doom’s finest jail cell, Wasp decides to grow to full size since she “can’t do much Wasp-size!” which Hank readily agrees with.

Wasp gets snippy about what Hank is implying but course corrects immediately by admitting that she’s still touchy around him.

Hank goes to go give her a hug with his manacled hands but Wasp moves away.

Wasp: “No Hank! Divorce means divorce!”

Not so amiable exes.

I shouldn’t but I’m laughing at Hank hanging his head sadly here.

Over at Moon Knight and Tigra’s unfun exam day, Moon Knight has a plan for how to get out of this.

He lets himself get bonked in the noggin with a mace, getting knocked out.

The technician running the gauntlet notes Moon Knight getting knocked out and continues the program for Tigra.

Meanwhile, Khonshu steps out of Moon Knight’s body... Huh! I guess Khonshu was driving?

Weird.

And Khonshu just goes for a walk.

Khonshu: “Marc Spector served me well before I gained an interest in the Avengers! But once exposed to Hawkeye’s triumphant spirit -- I felt the need for personal experience of his team!”

Meanwhile, Doom is done staring moodily from a parapet. The Hungarian representative is arriving by helicopter so Doom tells Boris to make the preparations for his midnight meetings.

Doom walks off and finds god.

The opposite, Doom.

Khonshu is overly dramatic as one might expect and introduces himself as KHONSHU, TAKER OF VENGEANCE! And tells Doom to release the Avengers or face AWESOME FURY!

Doom immediately tries to punch Khonshu.

He just falls through him and gets shocked for his trouble.

Punching not being an option, Doom doomduces from Khonshu saying he’s a god that he came out of Moon Knight.

I mean, the appearance should also give it away. Khonshu looks like a fancier Moon Knight.

Doom: “If I free the Avengers, will you ensure that they labor in my cause?”

Khonshu: “BEWARE, Doom! For those who displease me, I demand the STRICTEST JUDGEMENT!”

Doom: “‘Doom,’ you said! You know me to be Doom! For that reason alone you have earned my compliance, spirit! For know this: Doom bends to no one’s will! NO ONE’S!!”

Doom then presses the free all the Avengers button. A button that frees the Avengers. He just happens to carry it around with him for convenience.

Then he walks off, telling Khonshu to gtfo.

So if Doom has freed the Avengers because Khonshu asked, what’s he going to tell the Hungarian representative?

Well, that’s not going to be a problem. For Doom.

Because the Hungarian representative is Quicksilver.

And Quicksilver personally insulted Kristoff Doom in an earlier appearance. Also, he’s not acknowledging him as Doom which is just digging the grave deeper.

Quicksilver tries to flee but Doom slams the door shut and summons his robo-guards to attack. Quicksilver is able to outrace the guards but Doom also clicks a different button which shoot paralysis rays. And because of momentum, Quicksilver keeps going and bonks into a wall.

Ah, yes. Running headfirst into the wall. Just like the old days.

Doom rants to Quicksilver that he can’t understand what it’s like being trapped in a child’s body when you have an adult dictator’s mind. The struggle to command respect!

Anyway, Quicksilver did not respect him so now Doom is going to choke him out.

Then Scarlet Witch and Vision CRUMP through the wall.

OH YEAH.

Doom is like huh I know I freed them but I didn’t expect it to bite me in the ass so quickly.

Even though Quicksilver is being excessively Quicksilver, Wanda still doesn’t want him dead.

Doom really wants to kill him so he goes for his control panel to use the devastating technology at his disposal.

But get this.

He’s still in a nine-year-old’s body. Vision just physically restrains him. Just grabs his wrists and holds them above his head. What’s Doom going to do, kick Vision’s shins? Vision can become hard as a diamond.

And the rest of the West Coast Avengers and guests beat up the guards on their way into the room.

Quicksilver regains consciousness, kinda rendering the protecting him from Doom thing moot.

He regains consciousness and immediately starts whining.

So, like, remember how his new thing is that he wants to become the new Magneto and he wants to make all the Avengers suffer for various imagined crimes and also banging his sister in the case of Vision. He has made it very clear to them that he wishes bad things for them. He has already jailed many of them and tried to have the Hungarian government perform horrible experiments on them.

I have no idea why he thinks he has the moral high ground to proclaim Doom an attempted murderer and demanding the Avengers do something about it. And in the same breath he goes ‘kick his ass, he’s a nine year old.’

Quicksilver is really demanding that the Avengers do something about a child attempting to murder him.

Maybe out of contrariness or because the danger is passed, Vision just lets Doom go.

This is why Quicksilver was never going to work as the new Magneto, as the new boss of evil mutants.

He’s a chump. Nobody seems to want to write him as anything but a chump.

Anyway, Doom seems content with ending things here. The Avengers don’t do anything to him, so he has his dignity, and Quicksilver is the one who looks like an idiot. Especially once he runs away rather than do anything about Doom himself.

Doom tells the West Coast Avengers plus guests to gtfo out of his country. He’ll even give them a new craft to take them to America since theirs crashed.

But Hank decides he has unfinished business in Hungary and says that instead they’ll take Doom’s craft there.

Doom doesn’t care one way or the other.

But WHY ARE YOU GOING BACK TO HUNGARY!? Do you still think your wife is alive after all this time? Her dead body was found after she was kidnapped! The message about her being alive is very likely a ruse, just like the letter from Bova that lured Wanda and Vision to Eastern Europe!

What are you expecting out of this subplot??

But either way, the West Coast Avengers and guests leave. Doom marveling that they have no idea that a god walks amongst them unknown. And also briefly wondering why Mockingbird and Hawkeye are keeping their distance from each other.

Doom is not privy to their drama. Nor would Doom care.

SO SAYS DOOOOOM!

Follow @essential-avengers​. So says Doom. Actually, I can’t lie. Doom does not care about this liveblog. But like and reblog and comment if you’d like. I’d appreciate it.

[onekisstotakewithme]

💖, 🤩, and 🤲!!

💖 What made you start writing?

Not to sound too earnest or whatever, but I've wanted to be a writer since i was probably eight years old (my parents were both journalists, I loved telling stories, etc. etc.). In terms of fanfiction, I had things I wanted to see happen to characters I loved, and since it didn't happen in the show I was watching, I'd have to do it myself!

🤩 Who is your favorite character to write?

It's a lot of fun fleshing out Peg Hunnicutt, I'm ngl. But writing Hawkeye can be so special because he's clever and writing him makes me clever too, dammit. Or at least, makes me feel more clever. I also just love writing CJ Cregg, for literally no particular reason except I adore her.

🤲 Would you please share a snippet of a wip?

Sure! This is from the 'subverted noir' AU I started writing for M*A*S*H the other weekend:

Peg fiddles with Dr. Pierce’s stethoscope, which hangs off his desk, letting it trail through her fingers like a string of pearls, pitching her voice low as she looks up at him through her eyelashes, “I understand you’re quite the crackerjack surgeon, Dr. Pierce.” He blinks, noticing the shift in her voice, but all he says is, “You don’t look sick.” “I’m not looking for a surgeon for me. It’s for my husband.” “He has something wrong with his heart?” Dr. Pierce asks, and she smiles, because he’s like a bloodhound catching a scent, his eyes lighting up. Of course, he tries to hide it – no doctor wants to show it when they’re interested in a case – but he looks like he’s been presented with an interesting puzzle. She keeps her wording ambiguous, her heart starting to pound again. “You could say that.” “Well, fixing broken hearts is my specialty. It ought to be since I’ve broken so many myself.” He grins at his own joke. “Your conquests aside-.” “Look, Mrs. Hayden, trust me when I say that there’s nothing I’d rather do than take on a tricky case. But without a case history, with a consultation, without a patient, I just don’t know what you want me to say.” “I’m asking for your help.” “I don’t take patients by mail order. Or any order, for that matter. If you want, send your husband. I’ll gladly slap him on the rack and give him a lube job, but I can’t cure what I don’t know.” “That’s fine. I don’t want you to cure him.” “Come again?” “I want you to botch the surgery,” Peg says, her heart pounding so loudly in her ears that she can barely hear what she’s saying. Dr. Pierce stares at her, unblinking.

[lattehearted]

‘ you look so familiar … didn’t we take a class together? because i could’ve sworn we had chemistry. ‘ (Beej @ Peg fsdhkfjds)

It's the first thing he says, leaning against the door jamb and sweeping her over with that indescribably warm gaze. It's not quite arousal but not entirely pure; it's a look of love that reflects the multitudes or BJ and their decade and a half together.

Peg hasn't grown more than an inch since high school, if that. She's still drowning in his old letterman jacket, hands disappearing inside the sleeves. She and Hawkeye had been sorting through old boxes from the attic and the sight of old high school relics had filled the brunet with such giddiness that Peg couldn't help but reflect it.

Peg had insisted that Hawkeye try BJ's letterman on first. That little milestone of teenage puppy love that Peg had already gotten to indulge in; Hawk deserved a taste of it. And by the way he had preened in the mirror, it was a taste he was gonna savor and sample further down the line. But when he drapes it over Peg's shoulders, he looks breathless, awed in a way that she's still learning to bask in from him. She's flushed pink and glowing from the inside out under the heat of Hawkeye's stare.

No wonder BJ feels the need to chime in with equal reverence.

"It was geometry, actually," is the first thing Peg can think to counter with, her mind swimming pleasantly but incoherently under the weight of her lovers' combined gaze.

"What, no waxing poetic about meeting in drama class this time?" Hawk's shaken off his stupor, the quip falling from his lip when Peg fails to retaliate BJ's flirt successfully.

Her mind finds a direction, leads her to a small classroom where she nearly mistakes her future husband for a teacher, towering over half of the class as he did. "Nope," she assures, popping the last syllable as she reaches into the box of mementos for a yearbook. "Mr. Myers' geometry class. His name came right after mine in the roll call," she recalls.

"Right," BJ draws the word out in realization as the memories return, slowly but surely. "You were a couple rows behind me, weren't you?"

"Close enough to watch your jaw clench when Mr. Myers nearly said your full name in class."

Hawkeye for his part clutches a hand to his chest, collapsing beside Peg on the couch in a faux feint. "I can't believe I had to go through hell and back to try and find out his full name and you got it within half an hour of meeting him."

"You'd think that, wouldn't you?" Peg smirks, though it softens immediately as Hawkeye reaches out to twirl an errant lock of her golden curls around his finger. "But no, our Beej was very lucky roll call started with last names first, because he cut poor Mr. Myers off immediately and told him he goes by BJ."

"You're one to talk," BJ laughs, perched on the arm of the couch beside his wife. "If I recall correctly, you were the one who had to let everyone know you go by Peg and not Margaret."

"I was a good girl and waited until he finished speaking before correcting him," she counters primly, giggling when BJ, without a rebuttal, leans down to kiss the tip of her nose.

"Love at first sight, huh?" Hawk has that look in his eye again, the one where he's okay just watching, soaking up the history deep in BJ and Peg's marrow from before he had even walked into their lives. As if he could walk in their past hand in hand with them if he just heard enough tales.

Instead of a joke, Peg ponders for a moment before admitting, "More like confusion at first sight. I remember writing his name down in my notebook with a big question mark, because it was such an unusual nickname."

A pause, and though she doesn't move much so Hawk can still toy with her hair, she turns to glance at her husband. She can only see reflections of the boy she met; and all the better for it. He was more free now, looser, warmer, happier. And she loved him all the more. "I didn't start doodling Mr. and Mrs. BJ Hunnicutt in my notebooks until at least a year later."

She could drown in the look BJ gives her, warm and inviting. She doesn't close her eyes yet, even as he leans in closer. "Sounds like chemistry to me, don't you think Hawk?"

Hawkeye only hums, pressing against Peg's back and reaching forward to lace his fingers with BJ's. Locked between two of her favorite people, her husband's mouth warm and familiar on hers, Hawk's mouth soft and searching on the back of her neck, Peg doesn't have the urge to argue the point.

[grissomesque]

Thank you for the tag, @overseer-picard! 😊

1. 3 ships: aaah. Janeway/Paris, let's say Mulder/Scully because I'm rewatching X-Files right this hot second, and Grissom/Sara

2. first ever ship: I think it had to be Mulder/Scully.

Voyager was hot on X-Files' heels, so I tend to conflate a bunch of Highly Formative Ships right around that time, but Mulder/Scully formatted my brain so that I could go on to accept life-altering ship after ship after ship (J/P J/C GSR E/O and also Hawkeye/BJ in reruns on the Hallmark Channel).

(Although I was personally wedded to Gates McFadden in my heart, I didn't start shipping P/C til I started shipping J/C, in like an oh we really in it now shipping-mania sort of way.)

And then there was Roslin/Adama, and I saw the Roslin/Adama, and it was good.

(Ps I actually wrote an essay in 1998 on why it was So Important that Mulder and Scully were gonna kiss and then there were bees and that's how I learned to Trust No One, Least Of All Chris Carter.)

3. last song: Wild by Spoon, which is my current Tom Paris Theme Song and is prepping me spiritually for my next fic after I evacuate angst city High Place in the Darkness (which I hope to finish this week!)

4. last movie: Europa Report. A rewatch for me, but when I found out my husband had never seen I had to drop everything and queue it up.

5. currently reading: David Duchovny, Truly Like Lightning. I'm petering out on it a little. Bucky F*cking Dent was better.

6. currently watching: X-Files (rewatching on my own), Star Trek TOS (rewatching with my husband), Only Murders in the Building, Ghost Files

7. currently consuming: This is so boring, but I'm drinking a protein shake because I just worked out half an hour ago. I sincerely wish I had a better answer for you.

8. currently craving: Honestly, like, I just want to veg on the couch but my preschooler is still awake and I have to prep for class. The thing I long for most in all the world is literally to just enter into a television coma without repercussion. Send help.

I ammmm not going to tag anyone because of tagxiety so therefore I tag you all, yes you, every one of you (who wants to be tagged), go tag yourselves in my name.

[marley-manson]

abortion and george

Thank you!

Abortion was basically my response to watching What's Up Doc and really wishing Hawkeye suggested an abortion, even though I knew it wouldn't happen. So basically Margaret tests positive and Hawkeye offers to abort it. I didn't get very far, and I believe the idea's been written now so I'm happy to close the book on it, since I don't think I would've finished it anyway. Though one aspect I quite liked was Margaret having a crisis while trying to decide, and letting herself agree to it specifically because Hawkeye suggested it, in a somewhat irrational yet thematically on point "well if Hawkeye's willing to do it then it can't be child-murder," kind of way.

I'm gonna post most of what I have written because it's otherwise never gonna see the light of day lol so might as well:

He couldn’t deny the rush of excitement he felt when he saw the result, but it only took a second for his brain to kick in and sober him up. When he turned to Margaret his smile was gone. “It’s positive,” he said. 

“Oh,” Margaret said. “Oh, I -- I see. Oh God.” She took a clumsy step back, hand moving to cradle her head like a hurricane of a headache had just descended on her.

“I’m sorry,” he offered. The U.S. Army losing a valuable officer wasn’t exactly breaking his heart, but the way this would trap her in her marriage -- she deserved more than Donald Penobscott and his mistresses. He didn’t want her to lose her chance for more. “I-” he began, and stumbled. How should he say this? 

“It’s all right,” she said. “It’ll be fine. I’ll-” and then she burst into the tears she’d been holding back for days. 

Okay, first things first. “Shh,” he said as comfortingly as he knew how, and drew her into his arms. He stood with her and held her for a long time, the chest of his scrubs growing damp with tears and snot. She didn’t have to be mourning her life on him right now, but this was a delicate issue, one he could theoretically lose his license over, or even worse. It wouldn’t hurt to let her get her feelings out before broaching the subject.

Eventually she started to calm down. “Sorry,” she said, face still pressed against him and voice muffled. “I shouldn’t be upset. I’m a woman for god’s sake, I should be happier than you.”

“Hey, look, I get it. I love kids, and if you were ready to have them I’d be throwing you a week long party to celebrate, and two baby showers on top of that. But sometimes it’s just not the right time or place. Or husband.”

“Or all three.” Finally she pulled away. “Well. I suppose I’d better start writing my resignation letter. Will - will you tell Colonel Potter for me? Tell him I’ll discuss it tomorrow?” 

It was now or never. “Wait. Completely hypothetically, and please forget I ever said anything if you say no, what if I told him it was negative? And then we... got rid of it?” 

Shock painted itself over her face and he braced himself for shouting, but what she said next came out in a frantic whisper. “You mean - an abortion?” 

“Yeah. I’ll throw you the party if you want one, but, y’know, you have another option.”

She was speechless for a long, tense moment. Whether she was debating the question or debating whether to slap or punch him, he didn’t know. Her next words were a furious rush. “Where would I get one? Some Korean midwife’s hut? Do you have any herbs in your footlocker I can chew? A knitting needle I can borrow?”

“Margaret, I was offering.”

That stopped her cold. “You can do that?” 

“If you want. I used to make a killing in the alley behind”- her expression warned him away like the colors of a poison frog -"Sorry. I did a couple out of my living room during my residency. For friends.” At this point he didn’t think she was going to turn around and report him, but he still winced internally at the thought. 

"And you weren't worried about the risk?"

"I kept things sterile."

"I meant -"

"Yeah I know.” He shrugged. “It was worth it. I can’t stand to see a girl cry. You know, one of those friends would’ve ended up on the street if she’d had to tell her parents. She was psyching herself up to stab herself with a kitchen skewer and came to me to ask how to minimize the chances of an infection. I got the story out of her and what else could I do? Hand her a bottle of rubbing alcohol and say, ‘good luck?’” 

Margaret was silent for a beat and a half before she said, "That was decent of you."

He grinned, feeling a weight slip off his shoulders. Maybe in other circumstances that revelation would’ve drawn disgust or outrage from her, but politics didn’t seem too important right now. He wanted to help, and Margaret hadn’t slapped his outstretched hand away yet.

***

George is just a half-baked idea like, what if George returns with another injury during BJ's years, Hawkeye shoos BJ off so he can hang out and shoot the shit with him and BJ gets despondent and goes around trying to find out who George even is and why he's not invited, learns from Radar that George is gay and gets sus. All I have written here is a kind of meh conversation imo - I'd offer an excerpt from BJ's pov but that's written down in a notebook, not in my docs lol.

“How do you do it?”

“Well, you take five parts gin, stirred, not shaken, and drink to honour the vermouth’s memory.” He demonstrated that last with a flourish.

George laughed and shook his head. “I mean, how do you get away with it? I let one ‘he’ slip out while drunk and got my ass kicked. But in the last two days you told a corpsman to meet you in the supply room, you told Harry you’ll ask him to the movies when he can walk there, and you threatened to kiss Major Burns.”

“You should see what I do on my days off.” He drained his glass and sighed. “Look, I’m lucky. I was blessed with an eye for the female figure as well, and the total inability to be serious for more than two sentences at a time. I couldn’t keep my tastes a secret if it would end the war tomorrow, but no one’s taken me seriously yet, unless they’ve got the same tastes. But unless you want to study Groucho Marx until you’re phd certified, I don’t think my tricks will help you much. You’re better off staying sober and subtle.”

George looked at his own drink pointedly, and Hawkeye laughed. “Just us girls tonight, you can let loose a little.”

[machihunnicutt]

haha hellooooo just stopping by to say that 1. I loved what you did with this section the stand-in of clothes and 'fitting' for a larger issue of belonging was brilliant I loved it and also the way that you played with the taboo idea that there might be some things BJ missed from the war and 2. I'd love to hear your thoughts on it!!!

BJ Hunnicutt had never expected to get a divorce. He’d expected everything to fall into place once he was home. He held things together, for a while, even though he jumped at loud noises and took quick, freezing showers, on instinct. And sleeping was difficult. Peg found him curled up on the floor, in Erin’s bedroom more nights than not. He kept a compulsive watch over her crib. Erin was often the star of his nightmares.

His hands shook sometimes, in surgery, and when he was done with work he had to hide in the bathroom stall and hyperventilate until his heart stopped pounding.

Peg was trying, but BJ was distant. He threw himself into projects: repainting the house, starting a garden, restoring an old motorcycle from the 30s. He worked late and sat in his car in the driveway for ten minutes before he came inside. 

Most of the time BJ felt like none of his clothes fit. His pant legs were too short and the waists too big and then, in time, too small. Shirt seams chafed and made him break out in rashes. Shoes he’d had for years started to give him blisters. It was like he was a stranger in his own body.

And he longed for the Swamp. He longed for his lumpy cot and the burn of dogshit gin. He missed nights when the air would get hot and heavy and punishing, and BJ would be drenched in sweat, half‐dressed, staring up at the top of the tent. He’d listen to Hawkeye’s breathing, beside him, and his muttering. He’d sit up and watch the shadows moonlight made on their things: the spidery lines of the still, the deep blue‐black of vinyl on Charles’ record player, Hawk’s robe, draped over a chair. Some of those nights BJ had felt completely at peace.

tysm for asking!!

i think mostly I’m obsessed with costuming, particularly in mash and particularly bj bc he develops such a distinctive personal style that is so contrary to the wife guy/boy next door/square whatever you want to call it bj persona we’re introduced to in season 4

and despite that being personally relatable to me (i am a shy gay loser and i love ridiculous fashion choices), i think it serves as an interesting closeting/visibility metaphor and makes me wonder what happens when bj goes back to the suburbs and has to fit in the way he used to? Will it come naturally now that he knows what it’s like to express himself outside of the conventions of a 50s marriage? Will he recognize himself in his old masks? — tangent about how i think Margaret’s costuming does similarly interesting things with regard to her expressions of femininity (wedding dress, scully, dress her hair over time etc.) and I love margaret & bj comparison moments. they are my top 2 for a reason.

I also think that bj’s repression is so intense that he will have physical reactions at home. I think that disengaging from his feelings and trauma from the war will lead to a dissociation in his body UGH it’s so much I really love writing bj he’s really sooo insane babygirl to me

he just needs so badly to feel like he’s needed and seen and understood for who he is and he’s sooo bad at using his words to ask for these things 😫

on the point of the taboo of missing aspects of the war I think it ties into my (extensive) gfa thoughts on bj going home to a life that is almost certainly going to blow up. he does not have the self awareness or emotional availability to be a good husband/father. he has barely been able to say goodbye. the war has changed him irreparably in ways that WILL impact his family and so of course the war is also going to be a source of escape too. It was a time when he didn’t have to worry about his responsibilities at home and could maintain a fantasy of what his family life was. It was a place he didn’t have to hide, he could just be himself and be understood !

tangent 2 I’ve also been thinking about this point while watching mad men ! Like the idea of going back to a normal job after being in a war and like how don draper uses his slick persona to cover up the trauma of his backstory idk idk it’s all about repressed assholes for me I guess

Thanks for reading and asking I hope this all makes sense I love to ramble 😭