#when thats not the case at all she wanted her to come to practises !!

[ghostlypawn]

the way i literally still havent decided if lupe/carson represents pride or prejudice bc they really BOTH do and ik thats the way in the book but ppl still agree liz is prej and darcy is pride......

[wind-becomes-lightning]

Heyyy :D for the 600 followers thingy, could you write an itahana story with the prompt ‘please never stop smiling’ 🤗❤️‍🩹congratulations btw

Hello! Sorry for the wait, here goes nothing! Hope thats fine :3

Uchiha Itachi x Inuzuka Hana

@kankuroplease tattoo shop au (because I literally cant see them ending up any other way)

check out @lemony-snickers "chicken & egg" which helped a little with the idea for this

Rated T (blood)

2058 words.

Ao3 Link [x]

After sustaining a cut while trying to defend Sasuke during a hitman job, Itachi finds himself in Hana's vet shop.

Itachi’s head was bleeding from a nasty knife cut he had sustained from a skirmish that he had unfortunately needed to partake in. His brother, Sasuke, was a very good hit man and did more than enough for the family at large, but sometimes even he could mess up. So Itachi had jumped in to support him against the target he was supposed to kill and gotten cut up, such was the reality of their everyday life. The most important thing, however, was that Sasuke was unharmed and right back home and on top of that, he didn’t know that Itachi had been injured so he wouldn’t need to worry.

The easiest thing to do would be to go to Tsunade’s practise and get himself patched up, since she wouldn’t snitch to local authority or police and was generally on good terms with Madara and the rest of the Uchiha, but when Itachi figured where his feet were carrying him he realised that instead he was going to the veterinary office. 

He had been there a couple of times with his chicken, for check ups and minor injuries and found the vet, Inuzuka Hana, to be a very agreeable company to keep. She was smart and fast, she was interesting and hard working, and she was beautiful, especially when she took care of animals and made sure they were well cared for. In his world of repeated violence and power hungry relations, a soft soul for animals could go a long way.

Maybe that was why he wanted to go see her now and not Tsunade. The latter was still related to this world that he had grown up in, the fighting and the inter clan politics that most of them tried to play from the moment they had been born. He knew Hana at least had the basic training of how to stitch up cuts like this, humans were just animals anyway, at least he told himself as much to justify where he was headed. 

It was dark already, her practice was probably closed and when he arrived he realised that he had been completely right about his assessment. The sigh that was easily visible from the street was turned off, and the windows were darkened out, which meant that she was either in the backroom where her office was or she was not at home at all. Itachi knew it would have probably been better to just call ahead and tell her he was coming, maybe make up an excuse or two, but it was too late for this now. All he could do was hope that she would open once he rang her doorbell.

Itachi stepped in front of the door to the practice, looked at her name on the sign next to it. He knew the Inuzuka had a real connection to animals, dogs in particular, but he still felt like Hana was a special case. When she took care of his beloved partner, it felt like she could see into the soul of the animal. There was almost nothing that was more beautiful than that. 

He rang the bell. Nothing. He rang it again. Nothing. Itachi sent silent pleas to the sky that she was around after all and as if whoever ran the sky to send the pleas had heard him, the door was unlocked open and Hana looked directly at him.

Her hair was bound up at the back, a sign that she had actually still been working, and she was wearing a lab coat. Hopefully she hadn’t just come out of surgery, he thought, because otherwise she would never forgive him for his intrusion for one measly cut. And the last thing he wanted was for Hana to be mad at him.

“Itachi,” she said, eyes raised in surprise. “What are you do-” Her eyes reached the cut on his forehead and he followed her eyes to the trail of blood on his nose. “You’re bleeding,” she stated.

He bowed his head lightly. “Can I come in?”  She scanned his face for something he couldn’t quite place, but then she stepped aside to let him go through.

Hana hadn’t been in surgery, he could tell so immediately when he entered the practice and saw all the urine samples standing around in the open. She had probably just worn the lab coat to analyse for illnesses or such, so that the samples would not be tainted. He let out a quiet, relieved sigh. 

“I didn’t know where else to go,” he said. A lie, but it was a lie in good faith so he told himself it was alright. Itachi was an honest man for much of his life, at least when it came to his family and loved ones. But if he were always honest about everything he did, a woman like Hana would never even talk to him, or meet him. If he were honest all the time to her specifically he would rarely have a reason to go see her and he really enjoyed seeing her. Being honest about that sort of thing though came with implications, some that he didn’t feel like touching just yet.

Itachi followed Hana as she circled the table in the centre of the room to reach her samples and close them up tightly. “Do you think you could stitch this up for me?” He offered her a smile.

“You know I’m not a doctor for humans, right,” she looked over her sounder and raised a brow at him. “I have only limited knowledge of human skin.”

Sure, he had suspected as much, but: “I’m sure you can do it. I trust you.” It was true. While he could be initially a spectacle of anyone he met, their objectives and goals, Hana had always seemed very natural and trustworthy around him. Maybe that was because she only tangentially was aware of the life he was leading and what it said about him as a person. 

She sighed and then opened a drawer that contained an assortment of what looked like sewing supplies. “I can close it up for you- I can try, I mean- but you will need to go to a hospital to get it checked up.” She turned to face him. “Will you promise me that you will do that?”

Itachi bowed his head down a little: “Promise.” Tsunade would ask him who had done the stitches which would force him to lie and tell her that he had done them himself. Still, a lie seemed easier than to risk that Hana was somehow caught up into his business when she just tried to help him.

Hana walked over and pulled a string through a needle. “You know,” she said, “you remind me a little of a weasel that was brought in here today.” Itachi looked up at her with one brow raised and when she met his eyes she laughed. “I didnt- didn’t even think about your name for a second.”

“Not everyone has the honour to be named after the greatest animal there is: the weasel,” Itachi said with a smile. “I’m glad to be compared to them, they are cute little fellows.”

She seemed to be taken aback by his jokey remark, but caught herself quickly. “Sit down here, you are too tall for me if you stand.” She offered him a chair. Itachi diligently sat down.

“So that weasel,” Hana started again as she cleaned out the wound with a sterile paper she had made wet before, “He was super skittish, always running around according to his owner, restless and wild.” Itachi watched her bite her lip in slight insecurity, but when she put the needle into his skin her hand was as steady as ever. “Needed to be everywhere and see everything, you know? Anyway, he hurt himself while trying to help one of his mates climb out of their owner's enclosure. Needed ten stitches to be fine and a lot of pain killers.”

Slowly, carefully, she moved the needle through the skin on Itachi’s forehead. It hurt more than Itachi wanted to show, so he crawled his fingers into the plastic of the chair beneath him. “Is he fine now, though?” Itachi tried to sound as casual as he could.

Hanna sighed. “I assume he will only rest the time it takes to be sort of alright again. Not sure this little guy can sit still for long. He’ll be back here in no time for me to stitch him up again.”

Itachi hummed in agreement. That did indeed sound like him. He thought of the way he had interfered instantly when he had heard that Sasuke was in trouble, how easily rival gangs could use the knowledge that Itachi would do everything for his little brother against him. This was in large part why Itachi needed to keep Hana out of everything, what he might have felt for her suppressed deep down, so that she could not be harmed in order to hurt him.

“Well either way,” Hana pulled the string, which stung, to pull the wound close together, “Though you promised me that you will go to a hospital after this, I have this very strong feeling that you will be back here quickly after I’ve done this favour for you once.” There was a light in her eyes indicating that she really wasn’t as clueless about the way Itachi was making money as he thought she was.

She moved her thumb over the stitch, the softness of it making Itachi flinch. He wasn’t use to soft touch, at least not since Sasuke was old enough to no longer want to take naps with his big brother. 

“Is that a problem?” Itachi asked. “If I would come around another time, I mean.”

Hana sighed and he was half ready for her to tell him that it did in fact bother her, but then she looked up and a wide smile showed on her face. He had seen Hana smile before, when she looked at animals that she thought were adorable (which was almost all of them really). It was like the sun had come out in the middle of the darkness, like he had never seen the light until she had first aimed one of these smiles at him directly. Itachi felt as if his heart had temporarily stopped.

“I would never turn you away if you’d ask for help,” Hana said and Itachi could swear there was a light blush on her cheeks. “Though I would wish you would make better excuses for coming to see me. You don’t need to actually get yourself cut up just to talk to me.” She turned and walked back to her normal table to put the sewing supplies in. “Or bring your chicken buddy to five hundred check ups.”

Itachi laughed to himself, a little embarrassed. Of course, he should have figured that Hana was smart enough to figure something like that out easily. “Oh no, it was that obvious wasn’t it?” He stretched and got up from the chair.

“It was a little, yes,” Hana turned to him again. “If there is one thing you could do for me it would be to just, you know, call me and arrange a meetup like a normal person.” She smiled again.

It was such luck that Itachi was given this magical smile of hers not once, but twice in the span of a few minutes. There was a warmth at his core that filled him while he was looking at her, the same warmth that kept him coming back to her with so many excuses, that made him worry that he might be able to taint her if she’d found out more about his life. The warmth that right now he could not express, because expressing it would mean too much.

“I’m going to try,” he said honestly. Hana laughed: “Well at least.”

He was already half turning to go when he looked back at her. “Can you also do me a favour?”

She blinked at him: “What?”

“Just-”, he felt a little embarrassed again at having to say it out loud, “- never stop smiling. Your smile is like the brightest star in the darkest night.” 

When he looked up her entire face was flushed red.

[polar-bears-making-pancakes]

i think communication is a lot of practising and im really bad at it myself so idk how helpful this tip is but: other ppl are just like you, theyre scared and all have different emotional scars. but irl isnt like the internet and people will not hate and block you if you offend them for saying a wrong thing. and if they do and cant forgive you despite your good intentions then theyre not worth hanging around anyway. so the tip is to remember that people irl are forgiving and nuanced. they are adults, not children anymore who see things in black and white.

(side tangent: where im from its culturally the case that people do not ask others about themselves and its very inappropriate to point out obvious things, maybe its the same thing for you. its not rlly the case that germans are direct, its that if they say sth about a specific topic about themselves, its an indirect invitation for you to do the same thing, but you cant ask them directly, thats very rude. it could seem to some like the autistic dream but i swear its awful and i find it impossible to ask my german autistic friend anything personal (eg. i fear if i ask about her dog she's going to tell me that he died and i'll think i made her feel bad for mentioning it). im trying to unlearn it because not only is it culturally different in the uk, but its also impossible to make friends that way.) (((sorry if i slander germany again its a bit immoral but its how i tell myself im morally superior to my family who thinks i shouldnt live in the uk. )))

so my tip is: get a feel for what you can ask them about. listen to them and what they like, and then ask them about it. it will make them feel loved and appreciated. tell them what you want them to know because they will feel that you trust them and then they can do the same thing for you. its a way of showing them that you love them.

i love you and im asking you how your degree and thesis are going? you were saying that you struggled with it and i know you are very busy atm. i wish you good luck with it <3 you got this bro

hiiii thank you so much for this message and I'm sorry it took me so long to answer

that's the problem, i see consequences of my actions in very much black and white way. as I learnt from my counselor it's because of trauma. and I know I need to unlearn it because most people, as you said, are more forgiving than I am to myself and they are adults. but I still deep down fear that they are going to leave me like when my friends left when we were kids.

ooooh that's very interesting!! I get how you feel, I think, because I often blurt stuff out even without wanting to, that would be really rude, it seems, in that culture. I feel like polish people are really defensive and we are expected to be though. so it's like, if you'd point out someone's flaw, they would, on average, take it as an attack and attack you back. but also our way of shielding our insecurities is to bargain who has it worse. I feel like that's where the stereotype of main trait of polish people being complaining comes from. so I kind feel like I should stay in my lane and not get into people's lives as long as they don't invite me to. I don't want to overstep because I know that if I get involved I want to with my whole being. again, i dislike doing something halfway, it needs to be 1 or 0, black or white :/

thank you so much for the advice 🥹 I love you too

I'll try making myself ask questions, even if I feel like I'm not allowed to ask anyone for anything ever. nad I try get the feel to not ask questions that may make someone uncomfortable, another fear of mine

[honesthammie]

From my prompt list:

4) After reaching your 16th birthday you gain the ability to see everyone's red strings of fate and on your 18th you finally get to see yours, except yours dissappears into the ground/sky.

Fandom:Doctor who

Pairing: 13 x gender neutral reader

This is my first fic on tumblr. I know its hella long and not all of my fics will be like this. This came to me from a dream I had recently. I love Jodie and I decided to write the spider episode from a different perspective. I may have change the episode slightly to fit the reader. I am thinking of doing a part 2 but it may be a while before I do as I have deadlines and stuff to keep up with. The next part may be more fluff between 13 and yourself. I know this didn't have much but it's something. I'm also sorry to any Americans reading this, I love yas but its just the personality I put to go with the readers personality. I'm also sorry for any spelling mistakes as I'm doing this on my phone.

Summary: spider episode with a small change I'm plot to accommodate your beautiful self in this fic

Warnings: slight description of a couple of panic/anxiety attacks, swearing and a bit of angst. Long intro for small fluff. And it's a part 1 do I guess a small cliffhanger is a warning?

Beep beep beep. Your alarm starts blaring in your ears, waking you up with a start. You glare at the interrupting machine before turning it off. After such a crazy night, you did not want your sleep so rudely interrupted. Why did you have a crazy night? It's your 18th birthday today and your friends decided to visit your place for a little house party, last night, to celebrate and now you have a pounding headache.

You groaned as you realised, you would need to take some pain meds before you even think about going back to sleep. Slipping out of your bed, you walk to the bathroom and find the cupboard with all sorts of medicinal and bathroom bits and bobs. You then grab the glass that you placed there in preparation for the definite hangover. The glass was a little cold to the touch but you filled it with some cool water from the sinks tap.

You took two, just so you could have a longer sleep. You waddle back into your bedroom and just as you get comfy, you widen your eyes at the memory. You needed to see your mother today, she said she had a gift for you but she would only be at home until 11. You looked at the machine that you hated for the time. It was currently 10:05. You jumped to your feet and rush to get ready.

As you walked outside, you saw the regular red strings that you saw everyday. Why do you see strings? You honestly didn't know, but you knew their purpose, it helped match 2 soulmates together. But something seemed a little off, there was no one on the street anymore, so why could you still see one line of destiny? You decided to follow the string south, down to your own (s/c) hand which was now slightly shaking at the sight.

"Fuck. Fuck,fucky fucking fuck. Why now? Why me? What the shit is going on with me?" You curse to yourself. You could feel your breath getting rapid and your head started spinning slightly. You quickly unlocked your car and sat down to help calm you down. You took a few deep breaths and focused on your senses.

When you eventually calmed down, you decided to look at where the string led. Oh, how you shouldn't have looked. It didn't go in any way of a compass, it went straight up and past the clouds. How? You had so many questions but you had to focus on the day ahead.

You had been to your mothers house and collected your new (fave game series) and your card. You were incredibly thankful as you have been saving up to buy it for yourself one day. You had played the previous games and loved every one of them and to say you were excited was an understatement. You almost ran back into your place if it wasn't for needing the key to access the gates.

Living in a gated community helped you feel a lot safer but it did also make you a big target for thieves to practise picking locks. No one had figured out where the hidden camera that kept alerting the authorities was though. Even you have tried put of plain curiosity but you got stumped after the 10th day of searching. You were sure you looked in every possible hiding spot, yet the camera always seemed to evade you in the pointless game of hide and seek.

As you unlocked the gate, you felt a twitch on your finger. The string was moving down and at a very fast pace, almost falling speed. You looked up and saw a small black dot heading towards the ground, if thats your soulmate, they would certainly be dead the second they meet their fate. When you could no longer see the dot, you kept your eyes glued to the string, waiting for it to disappear like everyone else's did when a soulmate died.

After five minutes, the string was still there and was still as red as ever, like no harm had come to them. But thats not possible. No creature could survive that especially from that great a height! You were beyond curious and quickly went into your living room and searched on all your social media for anyone else that may have spotted the dot in the sky, yet no one had but you knew (b/f) had another massive fight with their roommate, Stella, over whose turn it was to do the dishes again.

If you didn't know that Stella was in a relationship with another, you would have sworn those two were in a relationship. You giggled at the silly thought, "if Stella ever goes through a break up with her, I'm totally gonna set those two up."

You give up on finding anything out today, maybe it'll be on the news tomorrow and you set off to go on an online shopping spree, you had a few codes and now, thanks to your wonderful mother, had a little cash to spare and you did see that gorgeous top on sale. Once you had spent the day either shopping or gaming you decided to head to bed but you couldn't stop thinking about that dot and what the red string meant for you.

When your alarm had went off, you hit it and got dressed for your new job at some hot shot posh hotel run by an aspiring American with High expectations and little experience with Sheffield. You had been told you wouldn't get to meet him much and you were beyond fine with that, you hated Americans, simply because you hated violence and guns were the big no on your weaponry list of avoidance. You didn't mind weapons in video games, those were harmless to the outside world. You didn't mind verbal violence though, it was all you had to defend yourself with and in Sheffield, that was better than nothing. You were very short tempered when it came to your anger but you found that it was either verbal or physical, you chose to be verbal.

You looked at your phone for any messages from (b/f) and had a good luck message. You replied with a smiley face and a "ill need all the luck I can get. I've heard from a few employees that he can be a real asshole for no reason and fires people just because they made eye contact for too long. It's like he suspects someone is out for his blood."

After 2 minutes you received a reply from from them. "You better be on your best behaviour then, young lady!"

"That's the problem. I wonder what the record is for the quickest a person has got fired? Because I may break that, you know me! I don't exactly do as I'm told, that's why finding a job has been so hard. Anyway, I best get ready, gotta look the part! First impressions and all!" You replied with a nervous face. What you failed to notice was the red string no longer pointing towards the sky and you were making it shorter with every step you took. You did give up on finding out about the strange dot and came to the assumption that it fell in a lake, there were plenty of them around.

You walked into the swanky looking hotel and noticed the cobwebs that definitely were not there two days ago when you had your interview, yet they looked like they had been there for weeks. You would have put it down to Halloween decorations if it wasn't for the fact that it was June. You decided to not ask in case this was some sort of strange new American trend that your boss was following to help bring in the youth. It does help make it fit into Sheffield a lot more with the run down and abandoned look. It would need some rust, water damage, mold and cracks to finish the look but it was a start. If you had to be honest, the spider webs helped bring the place together. It was way too posh for Sheffield but you had to lie and say you love it in order to get hired. Just from that lie alone you knew exactly the personality of your boss, arrogant, vain and ignorant.

"Hello, you must be my new helper! I'm Najia, your second in command here. As you can see, there are loads of spider webs so they should be priority. If you could start cleaning in the south west second floor and continue that floor, that would be amazing. Now here's your cleaning trolley and if you happen to finish the floor early, send me a little message through the walkie talkie and I'll give you another room or floor. Do you have any questions?" Najia spoke softly. She seemed lovely and it was shame that she had to be in a place that would get more damage than its worth.

"Just one question: why so many spider webs?"

"I don't know, they just seemed to have appeared, I thought it was silly string from some teenagers that managed to break in somehow but it is actual spider web. It wasn't here when I left last night. I guess I'll have to ask someone about that."

And with that you separated and got to your floor when you finally noticed a slight burning sensation on your finger, it wasn't hurtful. It was like putting the finger in a really hot bath. You looked down and noticed it now pointed downhill and seemed to be glowing a shade of gold ever so gently that you would miss it if the weird sensation didn't make you look.

You left your trolley outside a toilet to make it seem like you were in there when really you had wondered off to follow the string. You would probably lose yourself in the maze of hallways that all looked the same as the last if the string didn't help lead you to a ballroom. You opened the door and instantly screamed. A giant spider was walking towards you, however you couldn't get out, you had used a staff door which needed a key card to use from this side as the other side still needed to be fitted and you left yours in the trolley, near the toilets. And the massive spider seemed to be blocking the other way out so you were trapped.

You weren't scared of spiders but seeing them at the size of a van did intimidate you. You started shaking from fear of what it would do to you. Out of pure instinct, you put your hand out to protect yourself and the sound of 8 legs against wooden flooring had ceased. The only sound was your laboured breathing. It stayed like this for what seemed like hours but in actuality was only 5 minutes. You opened your eyes slowly to see 8 more stare right back. 8 eyes that showed fear but no intention of harm. Instead the spider gave you space to breathe by walking back a few feet. Then it seemed to be watching you, studying your next move to see if you were a threat and whether or not it should kill you.

You stayed still for a moment, wrapping your head around what had just happened before gently walking towards the creature with both hands forward to show them clean of weapons. You decided to try and speak to the spider to see if it can understand you.

"Hello. I'm new around here, I'm sorry if I'm trespassing on your area, I wasn't aware of you being here to be honest. I mean you no harm, if anything, I want to help you but unfortunately, I'm stuck in here aswell." You spoke carefully as if it was a child that was afraid. You gently put your hand in its head and it seemed to understand your good intentions and your situation as it let you pet it. Now you were close, you started to admire it and realised it wasn't poisonous or venomous, it was just a regular house spider. But you couldn't figure out how or why it got this big but it did explain the cobwebs everywhere.

You had been with the spider for hours and it seemed like Najia either didn't care or has gotten fired as she hasn't asked about you. You had spent the time talking or singing to the spider. She, as you found out after looking it up, seemed to put her body around you to protect you. You had even met a couple of her children as they gave you food from the cafeteria to nibble on when your stomach growled.

Eventually the burning on your fingers turned up massively and was causing you pain. The spider seemed to sense this and wrapped her web around your finger to help cool it down a little. It didn't help but you showed gratitude anyway as she was only trying to help in anyway she could. You gave her a small smile and her eyes seemed to show sympathy in return.

Then the doors opened again and the sound of several feet walked in. "Oh thank god. I thought I was never going to be found in here." You thought to yourself as you heard the voices mumble to each other and probably about Betty and what's the best way to get rid of her. You would have paid more attention if your finger didn't feel like it had caught fire and was tight as if your soulmate was amongst those that had walked in.

Now you were nervous. How would you introduce yourself? What did they look like? Were they male or female, not that you really cared? So many questions made you feel lightheaded so you grabbed onto Betty to keep yourself planted.

Then the door opened again and a familiar voice echoed in the hall and you knew exactly how he'd want to deal with Betty and after your bond today, you would rather die than her. She was obviously innocent here and maybe the others could see it. Then you heard the familiar click of a gun safety being taken off and your body reacted before your mind did and you jumped in front of her to stop him, although you had a feeling it wouldn't, but it was worth a shot for the others to stop him.

"Don't you fucking dare shoot that gun Dickhead! Not without going through me!" You spoke with fire in your eyes and maybe a slight mix if fear aswell. That's when you looked over at the new group of people. They all seemed trustworthy enough.

There was Najia, who welcomed you here earlier and she looked sad, so she had definitely been fired. Then there was another woman who looked a lot like her, you guessed she was a daughter or something and she was pretty and definitely somone with authority with the way she stood and held herself, maybe she is a police officer? A man who looked as though he was in his 50s and definitely did not belong in this weird group. A young man who looked of a similar age to the police woman, maybe they are friends.

Then you laid your eyes on one of the most beautiful woman, no, human, you had ever seen and would probably never see again. She had short blonde hair in a bob. They seemed to be brunette at the root. She had beautiful chocolate honey eyes that glimmers with so much emotion and age well beyond her years, like she had experienced thousands of years before this moment. You also noticed her odd sense of style but you admired her boldness and it did look amazing on her. You decided she could only be described as sunshine and rainbows.

Then you noticed her hand And a familiar red string that was also glowing a beautiful subtle gold. Like millions of tiny golden stars circled around the string in a beautiful dance of love. Your eyes started to follow the string down and back to your own. She was your soulmate. That goddess that stood before you, was to be yours forever some day.

Then you looked into her hypnotic eyes before you remembered where you were and what situation you were in. And you realised everyone was staring at you for your previous action towards a spider.

"If you want to keep your job, I'd suggest you move out of the way silly girl!" Your boss grumbled in a threatening tone.

"Nope. You are about to hurt an innocent creature that is stuck and terrified. You built on top of landfill and didn't bother to check and thought of no consequences. This is your fault. Is this how you would treat a child that was a mistake after a one night stand or something? Would you shoot a child that had no choice?" You spoke with confidence yet more nerves now she was there listening to every word. When he didn't answer you shouted "Answer me! Would you shoot your mistake of a child?"

He glared at you. "This is different. This is an animal. A pest. It needs to be killed so more can't be born! I made my mistake and now I'm fixing it!" He bellowed just seconds before a shot was made from his gun. You had expected pain but instead you heard a horrible shriek from behind you.

You quickly turned around and petted her whilst whispering sweet words as she took her last breath. You stood up and made your way over to the murderer. You couldn't stand him and you were so tempted to take his gun and shoot him with it, but you didn't. With fire in your eyes and pure hatred, you slapped him hard enough to leave a mark and maybe a bruise as a reminder of his shitty choices. "You can't fire me because I fucking quit you arrogant dick! She had caused no harm to you or I and I'm sure if you would have sorted it sooner, so many more lives could have been saved as she only had humans because flies didn't fill her anymore! She was so kind and just so afraid. I hope you lose everything you pathetic sad sack of boiled shit! You are truest one of the lowest excuses for a human I have ever met and if we meet again please be very afraid, because next time, it won't just be a slap you have to worry about! It'll be your balls as I cut them off beacuse men like you shouldn't repopulate the planet! You horrid scum! I hope your empire fucking collapses!" You spoke with venom lacing every word. You were seething and boy did his face look punchable. Instead you walked away with your middle finger proudly being the last thing he sees as you walk out the normal doors.

Once you were outside, you sat in the steps and finally let out all the emotions. You cried so hard, over your loss of yet another job and a newly found friend. You screamed at him with a string of curses that would offend just about anybody. You suddenly felt somone sit at the side of you. You knew who it was when the string was burning more than ever before and yet you couldn't feel it over the pain your heart.

"You did brilliant back there. You chose, not just your job, but your life over a creature you barely even knew! If you wouldn't have jumped in when you did, I don't think her children would've had a chance to escape to my TARDIS because he's going on a hunt right now for the rest of them. Sure, you didn't save her but you saved so many more lives than you think. And I know each one is eternally grateful for what you did. I know I would be." Her words were certain and sympathetic. They seemed to calm you down instantly. Or maybe is was the way she talked that helped with her soft but strong voice and you knew you already couldn't get enough like it was the best drug ever. You could listen to her all day and yet, she had said very little to you. It was a strange effect but you liked it.

She fell into a silence for a while just keeping you company as you came to terms with had happened.

[swansstuff]

So uh, I've been thinking about a hypothetical Trucy Wright: Act Attorney and here is the very poorly written outline for it because yeah. No spoilers except the Apollo Trucy thing. Tw death, murder, blood and grieving so yeah.

Trucy's first case is literally her first ever case. This is a flashback case. We follow her as she wakes up, slightly stressed about today, Phoenix gives her cereal and a pep talk and a cryptic message. Trucy asks where Papa is, it is Miles, they are married. Phoenix is cryptic about that too. He stays behind as he "has to buy groceries" so Trucy heads into the office. Apollo greets her, it's clear they know they're siblings, and he hands her a case. Miles is prosecuting. She is fucking terrified. She goes to the crime scene, Gumshoe is the detective and he's educating his teenage sons, constant confusion of who's who, because they are twins and they look very like Gumshoe, it'll be kinda funny. Its a simple investigation. During the investigation, the player can check Trucy's profile and the profile system shows character's middle names now. We get some gems such as Klavier Hyacintha Gavin later on, the reasoning behind this is coz Trucy is nosy. The important one here is Trucy Mia Wright. She says something about how she chose her own middle name when Phoenix adopted her and she chose Mia after learning about her. Yada yada. Trucy wins the case. Edgeworth is very proud, Phoenix is in the gallery and there's a flash of him crying proud tears, Apollo hugs her afterwards, Athena congrats her.

Next case, flash forward three years later, we do not see Phoenix and nobody really mentions him. Thats because he's fucking dead but we don't know that yet. This case is a Fey case, we meet Maya who is married to Franziska and they're technically on honeymoon in Kurain and Pearl becomes the Maya to Trucy's Phoenix. Its another fey murder case. There are a few mentions of Trucy's admiration of Mia, mainly just a mirror of a few lines she's said and a conversation where her and Maya talk about her, Trucy says she would have loved to meet her and Maya explains how her spirit has been dormant for ages now and how she assumes she's moved on.

"If you want I can try and channel-"

"No no no no NO. Its ok!"

This is our first hint that Phoenix is no longer with us, but we don't know until later thats what she means. Sebastian is the prosecutor, the player finds out that Miles is taking a break from prosecuting work, Trucy already knew of course, and Sebastian is dubbed Chief until he comes back, Fran says

"It would've been me were I not on my literal honeymoon right now." We are not told why yet, but it is because of Phoenix. Kay Faraday is the detective, somebody murders someone and frames Maya, no-one is shocked by this. We also get an update on Iris, she's thriving. She wins yada yada.

Next case, a couple of months later, Trucy gets a call from a friend that the player can't identify at first. Its Katrielle Layton. She needs Trucy's legal knowledge because someone is sueing her detective agency because have you seen how they practice. This, of course, turns to murder and we get another surprise when we meet the prosecutor. Who probably has a licence to practise law in England? Simon Blackquill, he is British ok. Yeah, Trucy wins with Kat's help, we meet Ernest and Sherl and Alfendi and Flora if we have time. I miss them. Trucy and Kat have a conversation that cryptically addresses their fathers and their "whereabouts" and living up to their legacy. We see Trucy cry, but only a similar flash to AJ:AA and we do not know why. Yet.

Next case, flashback case. Trucy is the assistant on this case but we still play as her, even in the court sections since Phoenix is prepping her for the bar and getting her to give him the answers. The bar exam is only in three days. Klavier is prosecuting. The case somehow relates to Kristoph and there's the whole mirror dynamic thing of when Phoenix lost his badge. Kristoph is dead by now, but the whole thing is there was a plot inside prison to make Phoenix pay for putting a bunch of them in, Kristoph was the assumed ring leader until he died and the cops now dont know who's running it. Somebody (Godot? That would hurt big time) was their inside man, sent to figure that out, so when whoever it was turned up dead, the whole thing got exposed. We get a bit of a Mia moment in the trial where Trucy tells Phoenix to flip over the receipt (thats evidence for some reason). Phoenix says "I feel like that shouldn't be the second time someone has said that to me". The killer is found, by Phoenix, and put into isolation, as have most of the other participants. We then see Trucy get her badge. They have a conversation and Trucy says Phoenix basically forgot about it for a couple of months. The case closes with a foreboding "and I forgot about it too, until..."

Next case. Phoenix is fucking murdered. Trucy gets a phone call late at night, she hears laboured breathing on the other end and a "don't forget I love you" from Phoenix. Trucy pulls a simba and goes "dad? Dad?!!" And the line goes dead. The player is presented with a choice of who to call. They have two phone calls. Who they choose first makes no difference, but the second time they are forced to choose Ema who will trace Phoenix's phone call. They could call Apollo and he would comfort her, Miles would panic, Maya would say he was just messing around, Athena would sense her distress and say she's coming over etc. You could attempt to call Phoenix back but he would not answer and you would be allowed to call someone else. Ema then traces the phone call and we follow Trucy to the crime scene. We get a truly haunting cutscene where everything kinda goes blurry except Phoenix's face and the blood. Trucy doesn't cry. She stands there in shock. The WAA is there in various states of shock and upset. Return of grieving Apollo I guess. Miles turns up and the look on his face is haunting. Trucy and him make eye contact and they share the thought of something has to be done. And then. "The bar association took me off the case and Papa too, they said we were too close to it. As a result, we never found out who did it... Until now." And we see a determined Trucy face. We jump forward to where we last saw Trucy, she and Pearl are coming back from England and its a bit more cheery. Trucy sends Pearl on a train back to Kurain and heads on home. She enters the house and we see Miles pouring over Phoenix's case. He jumps up and runs towards her.

"Trucy! I think I have a lead, I-"

"Papa, you're tired, go to bed." (Or better dialogue along those lines)

Its clear he's been doing this sort of thing a lot.

"But I do! At least...I think I do..."

He trails off and rests his head in his hands.

"Do I? Or am I just a mess?"

Trucy gives him a sad smile.

"C'mon let's go to bed."

Miles returns the sad smile and fades out like all ace attorney characters do. The player is given the option to look around. There's probably some emotional dialogue and bits that give clues to how she and Miles have been fairing the past 3 years. Answer is, not very well. Examine the pile of papers on the table. Trucy will take a look and then realise her papa may have actually been onto something. Its a diagram of which prisoners knew each other, with an arrow from each leading to a defense attorney we have never met. Trucy is confused, but she calls for Miles anyway. He comes back downstairs and Trucy asks him about this lead he found.

"Well I realised all those prisoners would know this defense attorney (insert name?)"

"Why? And why would they be suspicious?'

"They (pronouns?) Were always the defense attorney who would take on the cases of those Wright had already accused. They gained a reputation of being the doomed defense attorney."

"So... They knew all the prisoners in the plot and they had a grudge against daddy... Papa I think you're onto something!"

And the case continues, since we already know who's been accused, it plays out more like an investigations game, Trucy has to prove it, with Miles' help of course, literally every other character we know and love plays a part in making sure this guy gets a guilty verdict. There is still a courtroom bit and a moment when all is looking dark, Trucy literally has a full on breakdown as the Judge threatens to remove her from the case again. Miles is by her side, they're both technically prosecution here i guess. Miles, however, is too deep in his own mental breakdown to help. Everyone else is in the gallery besides Pearl. Pearl channels Phoenix as a last hope sort of thing. Phoenix comforts her and tells her to keep fighting, he touches her badge and probably says some sort of bullshit about it. The Judge is about to bang the gavel when Trucy and Phoenix object at the same time. Miles looks up and realises whats going on and he objects too, a little later. The battle goes on until it finishes and the other attorney has a breakdown that steals little bits from every other murderer Phoenix has put behind bars.This is the one time seeing the word guilty on your screen feels good. There's a whole heartwarming celebration at the end, Phoenix sticks around for a little bit and everyone gets a bit of closure. Its assumed he's gone since Pearl passes out and Trucy dips out for a sec. She's away from the festivities, staring at the badge in her hand and we see someone coming up behind her. Maya is channelling Phoenix now. He gives Trucy a hug and utters the words "the only time a lawyer can cry is when its all over and, Trucy darling, my light, its over." Echoing both Diego and Mia.

And the screen fades to black with a final hug between father and daughter.

:)

[autumn-foxfire]

I always end up thinking it comes back to Shoto *needed* a abusive father who also abused and coerced his mom whom he bought to pop out kids, separated the family, practised eugenics, talked trash about the whole family year after year and turned his brother into a murdering villain. While being a selfish, power hungry No 2 hero who is greedy, uses money and abuses power and is known for his violent heroics and generally disliked. He is next in line to AFO for doing every unimaginable bad but in terms of family abuse.

He could have been a quirkless top cop, he could have been a disabled ex-hero and had the same story. It was important he was what he was just an asshole corrupt top hero. Also to show he was running away from hurting his body and from responsibility by torturing his bought family to suffer in his place.

It was never about Endeavor. His story is like an afterthought to give substance to Shoto's story and bolster him and later, the rest of Todofam's stories. Pro Hero Arc's objective was to set Endeavor up as the symbol of downfall of hero society after All Might era. It was foreshadowed after Kamino Arc by Jin Bubaigawara's comments no less. And Twice being someone Hawks replaced for admiring as the ideal for the man's virtues unlike the sins of a man who was more fake than All Might's true inspiration on a TV. And this downfall was pinned on Endeavor as his personal failure as if to say he isn't the victim folks, move along. It is said as if to make it seem unfair but when it concerns Endeavor the plot always flips to show that wasn't the case it really was his fault. It kind of is. His arrogance, his delusional view of himself, his average competence in comparison to true heroes and his weak hero motivation(I'm No. 1 instead of altruism), etc were clearly depicted. And contrasted with All Might who did his best and was not the one in the wrong in the system. And the Commission who were evil ar dead.

Endeavor's character is frequently contradictory or inconsistent and modt of what he says or thinks is contradicted and depicted as his misunderstandings or sugarcoated delusions. In fact it won't be surprising if Endeavor commented on Toya having only a fire quirk and Rei nervously suggesting having another child to be the Ice sidekick to Toya but Endeavor only believed in one body to be the only hero and mistook Fuyumi's role as the cheerleader. To make every interaction or connection negative than it appears does seem the current purpose of plot.

But what never makes sense from a real person point of view is why marriage and child at 20. Very few people think I'll have a child and spend years grooming it to replace me while I'm being impatient right now. People can say 20 is adult enough all they want but thats two years after graduating from UA high school and its unusual unlike in the States. Didn't he have parents? They also practiced quirk marriage doesn't feel like a good enough answer.

He could have experimented on himself like Danzo from Naruto, he could have had a child with a woman he gets rid permanently- a clone with genetic modifications like in Star Wars or a child throgh a surrogate. Instead he needed the free nanny, cook, cleaner and housekeeper that came with a marriage to look after the child while he was away doing heroics. That is what is pointed out recently was Rei's sole role according to Endeavor.

AFO and his cronies could have been hidden in plain sight as miraculous doctors. Quirks can be updated once without suspicion(Deku never raised red flags?) AFO can give and take quirks. Endeavor was desperate enough to commit a legal seeming unethical practice so if Dr Kyudai Garaki ran a legal experimental scene where he lured in people who searched enough to find him, then why not Endeavor?

But I feel if that was the type of plot then it will be explained how Endeavor's body was not suited to holding cooling quirk or extra quirk would shorten his lifespan. Since Shoto is the real character who has to exist with his mother of a origin. And most likely is the scenario that Endeavor forced Rei to undergo dangerous treatment for pregnancy in one of Kyudai Garaki's machines. Its typical shonen plot btw torturing the mom to have a extra special child.

As told through Rei, Endeavor's character is one who runs away from responsibility and pushes it onto people instead of doing anything himself or troubling himself to suffer at all and shows no remorse afterwards or makes no noticeable effort to do sone action to sepict the same. His endeavoring is only that- a show of endeavour, no substance. In terms of plot having a child makes sense but think of him as a real consistent human character, it no longer is. Rei's assessment contradicts what she excused during the Pro Hero Arc. If he only runs away why would she be so deluded to think he is trying to face his past and not just giving her flowers because he got what he wanted completely at last. It doesn't explain anything about his character beyond being empty words to explain why he should be given a chance. And currently the family really doesn't need him they needed Dabi to be saved and it was said in the raws Shoto stated he did not feel "saved" by having to lend a hand to Endeavor.

I do agree that a major aspect of Enji's character is to provide greater context for both his sons, one who is a main character and one who is a main villain, as well as used to highlight the flaws present in hero society but I disagree with that being all he's supposed to be, at least not anymore.

Hori has gone through great lengths to try and flesh out his character beyond what he originally wrote though it was kind of awkward at the time when he started to do so because he had already dug Enji into such a horrible hole, slowly retconning aspects of the Todoroki family past (such as him "buying" Rei to be his brood mare) in a way that wasn't jarring (by making the family unreliable narrators which is something one would expect) but sadly he couldn't change the image he had already built for Enji for the most part.

I also agree that because Hori had began to flesh out Enji more, there has been more contradictions in his story when you start to pick it apart (such as how he's supposed to be the most stubborn character and yet gave up before he should have), but these issues are really only something a reader that likes to analyse the story will notice, not that of a casual reader (which I guess Hori should be thankful for). I'm not sure if Hori planned to make Enji into a more likable character from the beginning or if he changed plans midstory (...which to be honest, the way his story is written does appear to be the later), but because of the drastic change, it has left us feeling a bit of whiplash.

I do disagree with your last sentences though, Enji is important to the family and important to saving Dabi (kinda). Unlike Shouto, who is trying to break free from Enji and because of that he doesn't need his father, Dabi is desperate for his father's attention which has evolved into hatred and spite. It needs to be Enji that reaches out to him (and I wonder if this is why he decided to have Enji begin to reform as well, to be in a place where he'd actually try to save his son? Hmmm...).

Enji is an interesting character but a lot of his writing has a lot to be desired at times, is what I'm trying to say T-T

[sweetiejunie]

Cupid’s Arrow

Summary: all it took was a few shots and a phone call

Genre: fluff / angst

Yeonjun x reader (ft. Best friend! Kai)

Warning: swearing • drinking, pls drink responsibly 🍻

=====================================

An arrow is said to be shaped as a concave quadrilateral. Unlike a knife, it makes it harder to be removed once you’ve been hit. It causes you to bleed out. Putting an end to the misery and inevitably, your life.

That’s exactly how yeonjun felt when he first saw you. You had shot cupid’s arrow at his heart and no matter how hard he tried there was no way for him to remove it. A perfectly crafted arrow that ensured it hit its target, him. The only difference in this case was that there was no end to his suffering or pain. Whenever he saw you talking or laughing with his other members, that arrow only got deeper making his heart twist and hurt more.

He had met you through Kai. You were in the same class and one day Kai had invited you to their dorm to work on an assignment you had. And ever since, the boys had been inviting you over more and more often.

The moment yeonjun laid an eye on you, he was gone. The way you shyly smiled and greeted them just made his heart race. You were probably the cutest thing he’s ever seen.

He’s never been brave enough to tell you how he’d fallen victim to one of your fatal arrows, he just couldn’t. In his mind you were the huntress and he was your prey. And a huntress never gets hit by their own arrows, do they. There’s no way you fell for him.

To him, you were some untouchable prize he couldn’t even dream of achieving, the one with the bow and an impenetrable heart. Little did he know, your heart had been hit. And by who? The answer would really surprise him.

It’s been a year since he’s been hit, but the arrow still stuck with him, as painful as it’s ever been. A year of all the pent-up frustration, jealously and love. Throughout that time, he’s tried multiple times to tell you how he felt, and every time he backed out at the last minute, in fears of rejection. He was about to explode and on that one faithful day he finally did. All it took was a couple shots and a phone call.

Yeonjun had tried and attempted many times to get over you. Whenever he failed to confess, he immediately wanted to give up on you in general. He assumed being friends with you enough for him but time and time again he proved himself wrong.

He always drank when he felt the pain, drinking just enough to help numb his heart. A feeling he’s gotten accustomed to.

Today, the stinging in his chest was worse than ever. He had overheard your plans with Kai to go to a some new ice cream parlor. How he wanted Kai to say no and for you to have asked him instead.

Thats how he ended up here, at McClaren’s bar, the only person spending time with him was a little birdie called jack daniel, someone he considered a close friend by this point. He took a shot, cringing as the alcohol slide down his throat, burning, but no pain could compare to what his heart was going through.

Earlier that day he saw you entering the practice room as their practise was coming to an end. In his heart he hoped you were there looking for him but instead you greeted him and the other boys and turned to Kai. He knows you and Kai were best friends, but it still hurt how he wasn’t your number one choice and probably would never be.

He remembered how you had showed Kai a picture of the parlor, the way your face lit up as you talked about how excited you were to try it. He took another shot.

He remembered how you waited for Kai to end practice. He wished you had been waiting for him instead, taking another shot.

The way you and Kai left the building together, laughing and chatting about god knows what. With each shot he took, he felt his frustration build. But that didnt last long. A wave of sadness crashed on him and he realised there was no way he could stay mad at you, no matter how drunk and/or sober he was. He just cared and loved you too much.

As the alcohol started to take effect, yeonjun felt his negative thoughts, along with his sobriety, fade away. All his thoughts, except one, you. In a way he was glad all he could think about was you, but he despised the jealousy and pain that came with it.

“Why can’t she just realise how i felt about her? I’ve been trying so fucking hard to make it obvious, why is she so ignorant?” He rambled, to no one in particular.

There was no one close enough to hear him, hell, it was too early for anyone to be at a bar, but he still continued mumbling to himself. He was depressed, or maybe it was anger? He didn’t know anymore, all his emotions were numb, creating a mess in his mind. A few more shots through his soliloquy and suddenly everything went black.

——————————————————————————

“What! You jumped on a glass coffee table?!” Kai exclaimed, bursting into a fit of laughter as you told him the story of how you wanted to test a glass table by jumping on it, breaking it in the process, obviously.

“Hey! Its not my fault it broke okay!”

“Yeah, right. The table came out of no where and got in your way right?”

“Exactly!” You said sarcastically, folding your arm in a defensive manner, “you get me. But there’s something you need to know about me Kai-”

“That you like glass coffee tables?” He intrupted with another round of laughs.

“No. It’s that I’m just really dumb,” you reponded, and with that, the entire street was filled with your laughters. Thankfully, the street was practically empty at that hour.

It was nearly 11pm as you and Kai made your way back home. The past few hours you spent with your best friend had been fun. After getting ice cream, you headed to the nearby park to walk off the calories. However, you both somehow ended up at the playground playing on the swings, with Kai pushing you, of course. You had fun, but eventually the sun had to call it a day and so did you.

It was a beautiful night, stars filled the sky and the moon hung brightly beside them. You’ve always loved stargazing and one day you hoped to be able to lie in the grass, stargazing with your favourite person.

“So... you planning to confess anytime soon?”

You chocked at Kai’s sudden question, “what?”

“Oh, dont pretend. You know who I’m talking about and i know you’re thinking of him right now.”

Blushing at how obvious you were being, you replied, “no way, he doesn’t like me. Ill just be digging my own grave.”

As if on cue, you felt your phone ring in your back pocket.

“Hold on Kai,” you paused, retrieving your phone.

‘Yeonjun 🥴💓’ you heart fluttered as the screen lit up, revealing the caller. ‘That’s weird, why would he be calling me?’ You thought.

No doubt, Kai saw the name and was now teasing you about it. Kai was the only person you trusted enough to tell about your crush on yeonjun, you didnt know him long at the time, but something about him just drew you in. You hit Kai’s arm and answered the phone, signalling Kai to be quiet.

“Hey yeonjun! What’s up?”

Kai blew a kiss in your direction and you responded by rolling your eyes and shaking your head.

You heard someone at the other end of the line but the voice that replied didn’t belong to the blue haired boy you knew.

“Um hi, is this y/n?”

“Yes, that would be me.”

“Oh hi, um so your friend here passed out and he’s been mubbling your name a lot, so i figured you were the person i should call,” the stranger said, letting out a dry laugh at the awkwardness of the call.

“What? Is he okay? Where is he?” You asked, panic overtaking you.

“Yes, he seems fine, he just had a bit too much to drink. He’s at McClaren’s.”

“Alright, thank you! I’ll go pick him up now!” With that, you hung up.

You turned to face Kai, who was looking at you with the face of confusion, “come on we have to pick up yeonjun, he’s at the bar.”

——————————————————————————

You hailed a taxi and you both jumped in. Your mind flooded with worry as you wondered what could have made yeonjun drink so much. He was fine when you were at the practice room earlier, did you miss something when you left?

The moment you arrived, you rushed into the bar, leaving Kai to pay for the ride. When you stepped in, a mixture of alcohol and smoke filled your senses but you couldn’t care less. Your main goal was ensuring yeonjun was alright.

Your eyes scanned the scene until they fell upon the boy slumbering at bar counter. An open bottle of whiskey rested infront of him. He must have had at least five to six shots. Your eyes soften at this realisation and you made your way over to him. Seeing his sleeping face, you couldn’t help but give a small smile. He just looked so... breathtaking.

Gently nudging him, you tried waking him up. “Yeonjun, wake up, we need to get you home.”

“Y/n?” He said groggily, lifting his head as he slowly woke up, smell of alcohol in his breath.

“Hey, yeah it’s me.”

“You’re not y/n, she’s out with Kai. There’s no way she cared about me enough to come here.”

Hearing this left you at a loss for words. You didn’t care about him enough? It hurt your soul knowing that’s what he thought. The only thing you cared about was him. More than anything.

“It’s been a year and she hasn’t even noticed how much i love her. I love her to point it hurts me so fucking badly. I love her more than Kai ever will. But she always asks him to hang out instead of me. I wish i was her first choice, not him,” he continued, laying his head back down on his arms.

His sudden confession left you speechless. ‘Did he mean it? Or was it just the alcohol talking.’ A million thoughts ran through your head until Kai intrupted them by coming in to look for you.

“There you are, what’s taking so long? Let’s get him and go. Help me get him up,” Kai said, not wanting to stay in the bar any longer than required. After making sure yeonjun had all his belongings, Kai slung Yeonjun’s arm over his shoulders and lead him out of the bar and into the taxi.

Throughout the entire journey back, yeonjun slept peacefully in the back seat and you didn’t mutter a single sentence, his words still on your mind.

Being your best friend, of course Kai noticed something was wrong but he didn’t want to say anything since yeonjun was around, and who knows what he will remember when he sobers up.

After reaching the dorm, you thanked the taxi driver and got out. You opened the dorm door for Kai as he dragged the drunked inside and threw him on the couch, letting out a heavy sigh from all the exercise he’d just done.

Kai followed you into the kitchen as you prepared an aspirin and water for yeonjun when he woke up the next day.

“Okay, what’s wrong? You didn’t say a single thing the entire ride back. What happened before i found you in the bar? And don’t lie to me,” he said, using his arm to lean against the door frame, blocking the exit, preventing you from leaving till he gets a satisfactory answer.

You hesitated, “i... yeonjun... he confessed before you came in. But I’m sure that was just the alcohol talking. He also said he’s hurt by how you’re always my first choice and how I didn’t care enough about him.” You let out an awkward laugh, the glass of water making it obvious how badly your hand was shaking.

Kai’s eyes widened in shock, “that’s great, isn’t it? You like him and, revelation tonight, he likes you. You could ask him again tomorrow if you want. I doubt he’ll remember any of it.”

There was silence as you tried to process everything that happened tonight.

“You should stay here tonight, it’s really late, you can borrow some of my clothes. I’ll take care of him for a while, alright?” Kai continued, taking the glass of water out of your hands.

——————————————————————————

The next morning 8am

Yeonjun woke up, head pounding, throat dry. He couldn’t remember a single thing that happened the previous night. He remembered being angry, then sad, then... nothing. He didn’t even remember how or who got him home.

The dorm was quiet, the other boys hadn’t woken up yet. It was quite early, earlier than yeonjun was used to waking up. Sitting up, he noticed the water and aspirin sitting on the coffee table.

‘Who left this here?’ He wondered, knowing his members definitely wouldn’t do that. They would have been kicking and swearing at him for making them carry him home.

Along with the pill, he downed the glass of water and stood up. He wobbled a bit, legs still asleep but eventually regained his balance and made his way to the kitchen. He heard footsteps approaching him, but he figured it was just one of the boys.

“Oh yeonjun you’re awake, how are you feeling?”

He spun around on his heels, surprised to hear your voice, a voice he would recognise before he even saw your face.

“Y/n- good- good morning,” he stuttered after getting the air knocked out of his lungs. You looked adorable, hair messy, wearing an oversized tshirt that belonged to... Kai. He swallowed the lump that formed in his throat.

“I didn’t know you stayed over. Massive headache, but I’ll get over it.”

“Drink a lot of water okay. Why did you drink so much yesterday?” You asked as you made your way to pour yourself a glass of water.

“Oh... i just... didn’t know my own limit i guess.”

Lies.

You let out a ‘hm’ in reponse. “Well, you said some funny stuff last night. Do u remember any of it?” You looked to the ground, not daring to make eye contact with him.

He shook his head.

A dry laugh escaped you lips as you contemplated if you should continue. “Well, i guess you... kind of confessed to me...” you trailed off as you felt a blush creep up to your cheeks.

Yeonjun’s mouth hung open as he looked for the right words to say. Millions of things running through his mind. Should he lie or should he just admit to it? I guess there was no point hiding his crush now, was there?

“Shit... I’m sorry if i made you feel awkward,” he looked down, hand scratching the back of his neck. He took a deep breath and continued, “I’ve liked you for almost a year now. I know you don’t see me that way and I’ve been trying to get over you for a while now, but i just can’t. Since the day i saw you, there’s been an arrow in my heart. I’m sorry.”

You dont see him that way? Gosh, he couldn’t be anymore wrong and it broke your heart. Without thinking, your arms were around him, engulfing him in a hug.

“Don’t be sorry. Don’t ever think i don’t care about you, because i do. I care about you more than anyone, because... i like you too... so much, since the day i met you.”

“Oh, thank god,” he let out in a breath, hugging you back, hiding his face in the crook of your neck. “You wouldn’t belive how many times I’ve tried telling you and how many times i imagined you would say that.”

You stayed like this for a while, both too happy to say anything.

“You know, there’s a new cafe that opened recently. Would you want to go with me?” You asked, looking up at him, breaking the silence.

“Of course i would,” he replied, resting his forehead against yours. He was grinning like a cheshire, he had gotten his wish.

“Maybe i should have got drunk a long time ago,” he joked, making you giggle.

Just like that, yeonjun felt the arrow in his heart disappear. The once permanent scare was now gone, and he was happier than ever. All it took was a few shots and phone call.

.

.

.

=====================================

So this was a bit longer than i usually write. But i really enjoyed writing this, and hope you enjoy reading it!

Masterlist

[dvp95]

can’t breathe when you touch my sleeve - chapter 10

pairing: dan howell/phil lester

rating: e

warnings: none

tags: alternate universe, slow burn, fluff & humour, tiny bit of inner turmoil wrt sexuality but trust me it’s not that deep, deeper than anticipated but still not that deep y'all this is primarily silly, eventual smut, idiots in love

word count: 4,286 for this chapter (45,795 total)

summary: Dan keeps making a fool of himself in interviews, to the point where it’s basically a meme. Now he’s got to sit down for the better part of an hour and sell his show to the YouTuber he’d had a massive crush on when he was a teenager.

read from the beginning on ao3 or on tumblr!

read this chapter on ao3 or here!

"Daniel?"

Dan blinks. He blinks again, zoning back into the conversation he's supposed to be a part of.

"Er," he says, sheepish. "What was the question?"

"Are you sure you're feeling okay, Daniel?" the woman asks - the interviewer asks, fuck, this is like the sixth time he's asked her to repeat herself. "I heard you were ill yesterday, weren't you?"

He wasn't. But that is what Jaime and Patrick had sworn up and down to anyone who asked, because they're good partners in crime like that. They look like they regret it now.

"Yeah, Daniel," Jaime says, stressing his name in a way that makes Dan think she's one more fuckup from smacking him in the back of the head. He'd probably deserve it, at this point. He can't remember being this scatterbrained in his whole life, and that's saying something. "You sure you're okay being out of bed?"

The word 'bed' gets stressed too, just a bit, and Dan feels a flush creeping up his neck.

It's honestly unreasonable how he can't seem to focus on the task at hand, which is answering softball questions about the show he's worked on for three years, because his mind keeps drifting back to Phil.

Phil, who he'd left in bed with Thor, all sleepy noises and grumpiness at Dan needing to leave. Phil, who has the day off and might still be mostly naked and lazy while he waits for Dan to come back. Phil, who he only has three days left with.

Three more days in London. Two sleeps. And Dan has shit to do every single goddamn day of it.

This is a work trip, technically. They've got a handful of interviews the next two days that couldn't be scheduled for their first London stretch, and then they're going to France. That's exciting, it is, a mark of success that Dan never expected for himself, but right now he's frustrated by anything that cuts into the time he could be using to kiss Phil.

Dan is so busy remembering how Phil's mouth had felt against his that he forgets to answer the question. He can practically feel his eyes glaze over.

"Daniel," Patrick says, audibly exasperated.

It takes a lot to get Patrick to that point, so Dan ducks his head and mumbles another apology.

"He's fine," Jaime tells the very nice and concerned interviewer whose name Dan has long forgotten. "He's just got a lot on his mind right now and he's really shit at multitasking."

"Hey," says Dan. It's a weak protest.

The interviewer is a tall woman with kind eyes that crinkle into laughter lines when she smiles at him. She's dressed casually, has a denim jacket with patches and pins all over it, and Dan feels his eyes linger at the rainbow on her pocket.

What is that like? To be so certain and so confident that you can wear it on your sleeve even in a professional environment? Dan doesn't know that he'll be able to get there.

He wants to compliment her on it. It's the same urge he had in the restaurant with Phil's family, vocalizing that he wishes he could wear more nail polish. The same swirling anxiety of being judged for it follows quickly, but this time it's amplified by the recording device in the interviewer's hand, the knowledge that anything he says right now will be analyzed to death later.

Dan wants to live authentically, and he wants to get to a place where he doesn't need to hide, but he's frustrated by the reality of how much progress that's going to take. It's not going to be easy, it already hasn't been, and it's never going to stop.

Even with making a name for himself and having an audience, Dan knows that coming out publicly still won't stop strangers from making assumptions about him or demanding an explanation for the women he's been seen with. He'll have to come out over and over and - it's scary. It's really scary.

The compliment catches in his throat. He can't say it to someone recording him, no matter how kind her eyes are. He hasn't even told his grandma yet.

"I like your jacket," he says instead. He feels like a coward for it.

"Thanks," the woman says brightly, looking down at herself and tapping one of her bigger patches. "Customized it myself, obviously. It's a wee bit more colourful than you like to be seen in, right?"

The casual chirping helps Dan relax, reminds him that this is a laid-back interview with easy questions. Nobody is shining a heat lamp on him and asking for an expose on how he spent part of last night inside of another man.

He grins and shrugs. "Yeah, alright, I wear a lot of black. Sue me. I can still think colours look nice on some people."

Great. Now he's thinking about Phil again.

"Like Jaime," Patrick offers, tugging at one of Jaime's bubblegum braids. Dan still can't tell if it's a wig or not, but she smacks Patrick's hand away like it's her own hair.

"That's true," says Dan. "Jaime wears as much black as I do, though, I dunno that she's the best example."

Patrick nods, solemn. "At least her hair is interesting."

"Oi, fuck you. Sorry," Dan adds sheepishly. Even though this is an online print interview, he still feels a little bit of shame whenever he slips up and curses during an interview.

The woman - Cara? Catherine? Camilla? Ca-something? - just laughs and waves his apology off.

With an ease that Dan can't help but notice isn't quite as practised as Phil's, the interviewer moves on to questions about their other cast members. While they don't have any trouble making fun of each other, it's even more fun to exaggerate stories of people who aren't here to defend themselves.

Dan tries so hard to participate. He does. He laughs in all the right places and gives Jaime grief for not remembering something right, because he's given this poor interviewer nothing of substance. The thing is that Jaime is better at telling stories and Patrick is so dry and stoic with interrupting jokes that Dan knows he isn't needed for this. He lets them bicker over a story detail that he's long forgotten and feels himself start to zone back out.

He listens to Patrick's slow timbre, Jaime's trill of a laugh, and lets his mind drift back to where it wants to be.

--

Even though it's tempting, Dan isn't stupid enough to text Phil in the middle of doing his fucking job. He has to resort to checking his phone between interviews and pictures, getting more and more pouty about the lack of response to the things he's sending throughout the morning. Phil must be having a lie-in, because it takes him a couple of hours to even see Dan's texts.

ugh i should have just stayed in bed

pls send thor pics

and you pics but like give me a heads up if your dick is out im at work

i dropped my coffee on jaimes lap fml shes gonna kill me

im just so distracted lmaooo

canft believe youre just asleep thats so rude

Oh nooooooo. I always cry over spilt coffee :( you want me to bring you one? I can come hang out for lunch!

The sweet text is accompanied by a photo of Thor asleep on the sofa, his little head pillowed on Phil's knee. Phil is wearing Dan's pyjama pants and - it's hard to tell for sure, with the way the photo is angled, but Dan thinks he's got the Friends shirt on. Frankly, that should be gross. Dan wore that shirt for way too long for it not to smell like, well, his sweat, and that is objectively not sexy.

Dan feels gooey warmth spread from his stomach outwards, anyway. Maybe it is gross, but it makes him happy to think about Phil's shirt smelling like him the way that his own Yeezy shirt still faintly smells like Phil. He covers his mouth with a hand so nobody milling around will see him grinning like an idiot.

thats ok, Dan texts back one-handed. yall look comfy you should stay. i'll b back for dinner and snuggles ok?

Ok! ^_^

God, but Dan wants to be there now. He wants to be the one cuddled up with his head in Phil's lap. He recognises that it's very stupid to be jealous of a dog, but he isn't going to let that stop him.

"Hey, Howell." Patrick's voice interrupts the daydream of slender fingers carding through Dan's hair.

Dan blinks. He blinks again, looks up.

"I didn't even see you sit down," Dan tells him, bemused. They're sharing a bench in the building's lobby, not wanting to go too far in case they need to go back upstairs for more photos during the short break in their day.

"Yeah, you're on another planet," says Patrick. Dan wishes he could argue that fact. "Things went well with your whole Love Actually emergency, then?"

The reference pulls Dan up short. He feels his brow furrow as he walks through the entire film in his head. "What are you talking about? None of this happened in Love Actually."

"It's British, isn't it," Patrick says nonsensically.

"I don't," Dan starts, but then he gives up. He and Patrick are close as coworkers - friends, even - but Dan never quite understands the links that Patrick's brain makes. "It went well. It went really well. I don't know if Jaime told you everything I texted her, but I like... fully ended up meeting the family."

Patrick's eyebrows raise slightly. That's quite a reaction, from him. "You met the parents? Bro. You just started dating."

They're not in an overly crowded area, but people keep waking by them on their way in or out of the building, so Dan is pleasantly surprised to discover that Patrick can play the pronoun game, too.

"Yeah," says Dan. He doesn't want to get into the mix-up right now. He's sure that Patrick will have another incomprehensible reference when he hears about it. "But it just feels... I dunno. Right? In a way other people haven't? Maybe that's obvious."

"It's not obvious," says Patrick. He's snapping a hair elastic around his wrist idly, the gesture something Dan had thought was an expression of annoyance or frustration when they first met. Dan knows now that it means Patrick is tired, that he wants to shove his hair off his shoulders and stop it from tickling his neck. They're only halfway through their day, though, still a couple of photoshoots to get through, so he can't put his hair up just yet.

Dan knows so much about these people. He's learned it all from such close proximity for the past three years, but he also genuinely likes spending time with them. He feels, suddenly, very guilty for wishing cancellation on this thing they've all worked so hard for.

"Sorry," Dan says.

"For what?"

He doesn't really know how to voice it. He shrugs. "For being a shit coworker right now."

Patrick gives him an indecipherable look and shakes his head. "Daniel," he says, "you're not being a shit coworker."

"I kind of am, though," says Dan. "Like I can't focus at all, I'm missing interviews, and I... I don't know how much I want to go back to Atlanta. Is that bad?"

"Why would that be bad?" Patrick hums. "This is your home."

Home isn't an easy concept for Dan to wrap his head around. He hadn't had a happy one for most of his life, hadn't been able to find somewhere that felt quite right ever since he escaped that. So it's a little disconcerting when Patrick's words settle into his chest and feel like indisputable truth.

"London is home," Dan echoes, wondering it it feels just as right coming out of his own mouth. It does. His head is spinning, a bit.

"Yeah," Patrick says, like it's that easy.

Dan gives himself a little shake back into the present. He smiles, wry. "Still, I probably shouldn't be crossing my fingers under tables for the producers to shut us down."

For a moment, Patrick looks confused. Dan is all ready to apologise again, shove those feelings down, but Patrick just says, "So negotiate your contract. You know that you aren't required by law to see the show through to the end, right? You can just not come back for season four, or only come back for a couple episodes instead of a full season."

They're sat in a fairly public area, with other people walking about, but Dan could hear a pin drop in the shattering silence that rings in his ears at Patrick's use of logic.

"I," says Dan, "did not think of that."

Patrick nods. "You kind of tunnel-vision sometimes, has anyone ever told you that?"

--

By the time Dan returns to Phil's building, he's talked himself into and back out of quitting his job a dozen times. It's a dumb decision, but not much dumber than simply waiting for someone else to make the decision for him.

He decides to call Amy when he's in France and talk the options through with her. She's already looking for potential gigs in the UK for him, so hopefully the conversation isn't going to come as much of a surprise to her. The last thing he needs is for his agent to get upset with him over making changes in his life.

Dan's head is buzzing with it, loud enough to give him a headache. He texts Phil that he's outside and waits to be let in. He gets an intrusive domestic fantasy of letting himself in with his own key, and reminds himself to rein in this U-Haul bullshit.

"Hey!" Phil beams as he opens the door and steps back for Dan to come in. Other people live on the other floors, but Phil still leans in for a long kiss the moment the door closes behind Dan.

It sends sparks up Dan's spine and quiets some of the unending noise in his head. He sighs, leans into the kiss, wraps his arms around Phil's waist to pull him even closer.

He's cognizant of where they are, though, so he pulls back to rest their foreheads together after a moment. "Hey yourself."

"Did you have a good day?" Phil asks, his tri-coloured eyes bright and unguarded.

"Yeah, but it's better now," says Dan. He's parroting what Phil said to him yesterday, and he can tell that Phil recognises it from the little smile on his face. "You look nice. You showered just for me?"

Phil laughs and tugs at Dan's wrist, pulling him down the stairs. They've got four left feet between them, honestly, so it's a miracle nobody takes a nosedive.

"Yeah," he says as they narrowly avoid any number of broken bones. He presses Dan against the wall next to his front door and grins at him. "But it was also for the judgey moms at the dog park. You look nicer, you didn't take the makeup off?"

To be honest, Dan had forgotten it was even on his face. He settles his hands on Phil's hips and smiles. "They made me look like the best version of me, why would I erase all their hard work?"

"Mm, you do look pretty," Phil says, and Dan is lucky to have his back against a wall. His knees might have actually buckled at the praise if he was unsupported.

"Pretty, huh?" Dan asks. He tries to keep his tone dry, like it's a big joke, but Phil's big eyes just see too much.

"Very pretty," says Phil. Dan doesn't know how to handle being complimented by Phil's deep, sincere voice, but he isn't given much of a chance to react before Phil is speaking again. "But I don't know that I'd call this the best version of you. You looked really nice when you came, y'know."

"Fuck, Phil," Dan laughs, a little breathless. "I was literally gone for ten hours."

"Ten hours too many," Phil grumbles.

Dan laughs again, but he has to admit that Phil has a point. The day had absolutely dragged on with the knowledge that his probably-boyfriend was waiting for him.

"You wanna go inside, then?" Dan suggests, running his thumbs just under the hem of Phil's clean shirt. "I'll do a lot of things, but this floor is cement, mate. I'm not blowing you out here."

The giggle that's surprised out of Phil makes Dan smile so wide it hurts his cheeks. He smacks the center of Dan's chest lightly and steps back to let them both into his flat. "I was thinking we could, like, order dinner first or whatever, but I'm not going to complain if you want to switch up the itinerary."

"The itinerary," Dan mocks, looking around for a ball of fluff running directly at them as he struggles with his shoes. "Uh, where's Thor?"

"Uh," says Phil. There's colour high in his cheeks that he tries to hide by flopping onto the sofa. The sweats he stole off of Dan don't really leave much to the imagination at all, not when he's sitting like that, and Dan almost loses his balance when he stands up straight. The pink doesn't leave Phil's face, but a knowing smirk joins it. "He's in the bathroom."

Dan's heart skips like an old CD player and he laughs to mask just how fond he is. "Uh huh, and here you are acting like you were really ordering food first."

"Well," Phil says, his smirk growing, "we could still order first, it'd be at least twenty."

"Sounds like a challenge," Dan hums, coming around the sofa to sit on the other end and lean forward, kissing the sliver of skin where Phil's shirt is riding up. "Why don't you do that, and I'll go get a bloody condom."

Phil blushes, proper blushes, and pulls a packet out of his pocket. "Ta-da," he jokes, weakly. "For my next trick -"

"If you say you're going to make your penis disappear," Dan says, flat, "then I'm walking out."

They just look at each other for a long moment, like a staring contest neither of them initiated, and then Phil snorts. That sets them both off and soon enough they're laughing, Dan's nose tucked against Phil's hipbone and Phil's hand over his mouth.

"I wasn't going to say that," Phil insists, still giggling. "I wasn't."

"Sure you weren't." Dan grins up at him and slides up his body, a little less graceful than he'd imagined it in his head. He presses their smiles together and licks into Phil's mouth. A little noise passes between them when Phil's hands find their way into Dan's hair, but Dan isn't sure which of them it comes from.

The giddy feeling of laughter doesn't leave Dan's chest. He lets it make a home there as he trails kisses all over Phil's long, pale neck. He doesn't need to guess when Phil likes something - he squirms and makes these little huffs of noises, grip on Dan's curls tightening just a bit before it loosens again. It feels impossibly powerful to learn how to take Phil apart like this, like they're teenagers snogging on the sofa in their first relationship.

It's strange that this does feel like a first relationship for Dan, in a lot of ways. He loved his first girlfriend and cared about other women he's dated, but it's not the same at all.

Finally, Dan is allowed to feel all the things he's supposed to have felt when he was younger. He's allowed to let budding affection and lust and friendship all wrap up in one person.

"So, the piercings," Dan murmurs, letting his hand slide up Phil's shirt to toy with one of them.

"What about them?" Phil asks. He already sounds impatient and needy, like he had last night, and the sound of it goes straight to Dan's dick.

Dan laughs and sits up, helping Phil get his shirt off over his head. "I mean, do they do things for you? Do they feel good when I touch them? How do you want me to touch them to make them feel good?"

"Do you always ask this many questions during sex?" Phil asks, dry.

There's no point in lying. "Yeah, I tend to babble." Dan gives him a winning smile and taps at Phil's hips, a silent request for him to lift up. Phil does happily, arching up for Dan and letting his stolen sweats get tugged off. "Guess you'll have to shut me up somehow."

Phil laughs, muffling the sound of it with his palm, and shakes his head. He looks so fucking gorgeous like this, giggly and naked and starting to get hard against his thigh. Dan has no idea how he got this lucky.

"That's such a terrible line," Phil informs him, grinning wide. He doesn't seem bothered by Dan being dressed when he isn't. He just settles back against the cushions and wiggles a bit, either trying to get comfortable or just teasing Dan. Either is possible at this point.

"It's not a line," Dan protests, shrugging his jacket off and settling back between Phil's legs. He presses his mouth to Phil's soft tummy and, unable to help himself, blows a raspberry.

Phil kicks out at him, instinctive, and his tongue is trapped between his teeth as he tries to hold back giggles.

"My nipples aren't sensitive," Phil tells him, voice wavering with some combination of amusement and arousal. He drops a hand to wrap around his own cock, thumbing at the metal on the tip of it. "This is. It, like, tugs. It's nice."

Biting back a groan at the sight, Dan digs around for the condom. He impatiently knocks Phil's hand out of the way to get him hard enough that he can roll it on. The piercing just above his balls settles nicely at the bottom of the latex, almost like it's holding it in place. Dan rolls it between his fingers, watches Phil's eyes flutter closed. "And this one?"

"Not as much. Still good, though." Phil's tongue darts out to lick his lips, and Dan grins at the unconscious reminder of what he's meant to be doing.

It's not the most comfortable for them to be laid out on the sofa like this, lanky as they are, but Dan isn't nineteen anymore. His knees do not hold up the way they used to. He wraps his hand around the base of Phil's cock and lets the tips of his fingers idly play with the metal bar as he finally gets his mouth on Phil.

Dan isn't used to the taste of latex accompanying a blowjob, but it isn't unpleasant. He gives Phil a couple of long licks and then sucks lightly at the head, not sure how much pressure Phil likes yet.

That's something he thinks he'd love to learn. He wants to know everything about Phil's body, wants to make him tremble with it.

Dan is extremely offended when he glances up and sees that Phil is tapping something on his phone, but the offense settles when Phil huffs a laugh and says, "Put in for takeaway. All yours, now."

The phone gets put down and Dan tongues at the bump of Phil's Prince Albert ring through the condom. That makes Phil's breath hitch, his hips jerk just a bit.

It's been years since Dan has had a cock in his mouth, but he likes to think it's like riding a bike. He takes Phil deep, hollows out his cheeks, repeats any motion that makes Phil let out soft groans. He forgot how much he likes this, fuck.

Much like everything else, it's somehow impossibly better with Phil.

Phil keeps a hand in Dan's hair and braces the other on the back of the sofa, breathing hard, and Dan doesn't want to close his eyes and miss a fucking moment of this.

"Fuck," Phil breathes, and Dan responds with an answering moan around his dick. "Yeah, alright, that's - fuck, Dan, you feel so good, look so pretty like that."

The praise still makes Dan shudder. He sucks Phil harder, feeling the weight of Phil's cock on his tongue as he speeds up his movements.

Dan remembers blowjobs to be pretty fast. He also never gave one to a man older than twenty, though, and his jaw starts to ache once he realises that Phil isn't going to be pushed over the edge as quickly as he's used to.

He pulls off to give his jaw a break, stroking Phil and pressing his open mouth along the side of him.

"You think I feel nice?" Dan laughs, pleased by the way the gust of air makes Phil's cock twitch. "Fucking, forgot how good this feels."

"Yeah?" Phil prompts, his voice deep and breathy and so, so nice to listen to. No wonder he's so successful on the radio. "You like sucking cock?"

Dan shivers. "Yeah," he says. He's unashamed, because he feels safe here with Phil. He can admit to liking a cock in his mouth, a hand in his hair, being called pretty. "Yours specifically, though."

Phil laughs. "That's good. I like specifically your cock, too." He looks over at his kitchen for a moment and raises his eyebrows. "I'll get dressed and answer the door when the pizza gets here if you can make me come in the next five minutes."

Well. Never let it be said that Dan Howell backs down from a challenge.

[thestormfall]

Everything about Beat today was a little too much. [TSoS 2019: Hexa-Code Kernel]

----

Characters: Daisukenojo ‘Beat’ Bito &  Neku Sakuraba 

Wordcount:  2,677

Also on Ao3

hohoho I’ve finally written fanfic again. Gotta give some fanfic love to my fave Beat. feel free to read it there and leave a review if you enjoy it haha  

or just here, under the cut.

03/07 10:00AM

- yo, Phones! you free today? lets hang out!

- Sorry, I can't today, I'm kind of busy.

- thats cool

03/09 10:20AM

- man, the weathers sick today! cmon Ill go teach you that move I was talking about

- Can't do today either, Beat. Family stuff.

- No probs man

03/10 09:00AM

- so Doi is doing a special lunch menu today wanna go?

- I've already got lunch plans, sorry

- issokay man

- How about later? We can hang in the park after I'm done with lunch?

- yeah! aight Ill see you later.

xx

Of No Envy

Neku wasn't great at skateboarding but he didn't think that he was terrible. At the very least, after two years of being taught by Beat, he thought he would end up being decent. The unconcealed impish grins of a group of middle-school kids told him otherwise, though. Yeah, yeah laugh it up.

On the other hand, Beat was practising a few tricks that made the kids forget all about him. One of them even clapped. Yeah, Neku wasn't going to manage to do that. He couldn't even remember what it was called.

He resigned to heading towards their resting spot at the top of the skating bowl, leaning against one of the slim trees. Neku wiped the sweat off his neck using his wristband. He always exerted a lot of energy skating with Beat. With him, no matter how idle Neku might have wanted to be, Beat simply dragged him along. Not that he minded, of course.

"Phones, did you see that?" Beat skated up to him, hopping off his board and landing perfectly on the spot next to Neku, catching his board with one hand. For someone so brash, it was almost comical how smooth he was with his skateboard. "Been trying to land that nollie laser for a month!" So that's what it was called. "Gotta see if I can do it again!"

"I'm sure you will."

Beat settled down beside him, crossed leg. "Put 'em here!" He held up a fist, awaiting eagerly.

"Haha, good job." Neku returned the gesture, noting how Beat seemed pretty satisfied with himself today. "So, what? Was that what you wanted to show me all week?"

"Nah, didntcha hear me? That's the first time I've done it." He nudged Neku with his shoulder. "Had a feelin' I wouldn't get it 'till I had you around."

"Oh please, you would have got it eventually. Don't think I know anyone more stubborn than you."

"Thanks, Phones!"

Neku wanted to tell Beat that it wasn't usually meant to be a compliment…but he supposed that in this case, it was. He grabbed his water bottle, poking Beat in the cheek with it. "Want some?"

"Bwaaaah! Phones, that's cold!" Though he said that, Beat took the drink, gulping it down.

"Beat. What's wrong?"

This caused Beat to spit out about half his drink. "Huh? What d'ya mean? There ain't anythin' wrong?"

"Judging how you spit out enough water to keep all the trees in Miyashita Park hydrated, I'd argue otherwise."

His friend opened his mouth, then closed it again. A few times.

"Beat. What's wrong?" He repeated, a bit more sternly this time.

"…Yeah, yeah okay, you've got me." Beat sighed deeply and leaned back against the tree. "How'd you know?"

"You've been bugging me to meet up for the past two weeks," Neku said, drily. "Pretty sure I told you after the last ramen session that I was going to be busy, but there's been a message from you, what…every morning?"

It wasn't just that. Everything about Beat today was a little too much. Yes, Beat was always one to spend the whole day boarding but right now? In the middle of March? Neku had warmed up from the exercise but even after sitting here for a few minutes, the cool spring air was starting to seep into his skin. Beat hated the cold, too. Neku would know, Beat never failed to complain about it.

There was something about the look in his eyes, too. There, even as they were talking. Even as Beat was looking right at him.

"…Is it because Rhyme's leaving?"

Beat stiffened as the words left Neku's mouth.

I knew it.

Neku already knew that Rhyme was leaving, she and Beat had told all of them. She was off to a specialist high school overseas. When Rhyme said that she had a dream to chase, she really meant it. Of course, it would hit Beat hard. They all knew how much she meant to him.

"Hey, I'm going to miss her too, you know," he offered, quietly.

His friend stayed quiet. He lowered his eyes, then looked away.

"That's ain't it, Phones."

"It's…not?"

"Not all of it. It is and it ain't."

Well, that had Neku stumped.

"You're going to have to help me out, here a little Beat. You wanted to tell me what it was, didn't you?"

"…Ya know how you said I was 'buggin' you' for a while?" Beat finally said.

"Beat, you're not actually bothering me," Neku tried to clarify. "It's just a figure of speech –"

"I got that one," Beat interrupted. "At the start, I was jus' wantin' to hang out. I didn't want to ask Rhyme 'cause she's busy with gettin' ready to leave. But you've been busy too. An' Shiki." He paused. "…I even asked Priss." Neku raised an eyebrow, and Beat returned a look that said, 'I know'. "Anyway, everyone was doin' somethin'."

"Beat…"

"So I just kept askin' you. But you've got other friends now, right? You were havin' lunch with them today, right?"

"I guess I do," Neku said. "Beat, yeah sure I was having lunch today with other friends, but it's not like you're any less of a friend to me. Heck, I'm pretty sure you guys were the ones who were telling me to make more friends."

"Yeah, an' you did. I'm not sayin' you shouldn't have. It's a good thing. I know that," Beat said. "I know you worked pretty hard to make friends."

Hearing that made Neku felt slightly embarrassed.

Beat could probably tell. "You did. An' I'm glad you did. I know you didn't wanna have any friends…back when…back when we were in the Game." Beat whispered 'the game', something that they all tended to do. "The point is you changed. An' you kept changin' after the Game. All of you did."

He said the last sentence, with such a bitter sting that Neku was taken aback. "You don't like that we've changed?"

"I don't like that I haven't changed." There was a softer, "not one bit."

Neku hadn't seen Beat like this…not since the Game. It seemed that Beat needed a moment to compose himself.

He wasn't speaking, so all Neku could hear was the sound of those kids skateboarding, laughing with and at each other as they continued showing off tricks to each other. It was jarring, how downcast the atmosphere around Beat was in comparison. It was almost like Beat didn't belong in this picture.

Or maybe it's like that because that's how he feels.

"Rhyme's still chasing her dream," said Beat, speaking suddenly again. "An' she's leavin' because of it. I'm happy for her an' all that but we used to hang out all the time. But she's too busy now, so yeah I thought I'd leave her alone for a bit. But besides you guys, what do I have? Nothin' but this skateboard. The rest of you have tried to change, but I didn't. After the Game, I thought that was enough. Rhyme was back so that was enough. But I'm still a good for nothin' loser who doesn't matter and who has nothin' that matters to me."

Neku wanted to argue because it's not like Beat didn't have other friends. Except thinking back on it, he never mentioned having any. Not having friends was kind of Neku's thing. Perhaps he made such a big deal of it that Beat never wanted to because Neku couldn't recall Beat ever mentioning having other friends either.

Come to think of it…Hadn't Beat always gone a bit quieter whenever Shiki mentioned she was working on a new project? Whenever Neku said Hanekoma was going to help iron out a few things about his new track? Whenever Rhyme went on and on about her new school?

…When had Beat talked about himself?

He knew the answer: not much. Not since the game.

Not until now.

"You're not a loser, Beat."

"I knew you'd say that," was the immediate response. "Doesn't make it true."

He never thought he'd be the one left speechless with Beat. Neku didn't know what to say. He was never good at this. Maybe Shiki or Rhyme could have dealt with this better. Maybe even Josh – no, not Joshua, he would just say something that would make things worse.

Neku hated this, he hated seeing Beat like this.

He just…he just never assumed Beat would be anything but okay. They all had their nightmares about the Game but that was something they shared and talked about. There was nothing to indicate that there were things weren't going well after that.

And he couldn't outright say that Beat had definitely changed because he hadn't. Not in any way that he could tell.

…but so what?

"So what if you haven't changed? So, you haven't made any new friends? Or you don't have a dream? You don't need to have them, it doesn't make us any better than you."

"Phones?"

"Yeah, fine. You're still the same Beat who did everything to save your sister and who wasn't afraid to ask me for help," he continued, words falling out before he could catch them. "You're the same guy back then, who wanted to make friends with me of all people. Then, I'm sorry, but that's perfectly fine with me. Who says you need to change anyway? Screw that. If you want to find a dream or whatever crap, fine. We'll help you, but you don't need to change to do it. Another thing,you don't need a whole bunch of other people as friends because you matter to me."

Beat blinked at Neku.

"…Man, I didn't think you were goin' to get…angry with me."

"I'm not – "

Oh.

Uh, maybe he had been shouting.

Yep, those kids were giving him strange looks.

"The bottom line is," he tried to say with a bit more calm. "You're one of my best friends, and always will be whether you change or not. Or whether you have a dream or not. If you're really having a bad day or something you just need to tell me. And not with just some 'let's hang out' texts that you drop after one reply."

The person Neku was two years ago, before he met his friends, was a thorny person of no envy. Beat, however, had always had a heart of gold. Neku just wished that Beat could see that too.

"…I guess you're right," Beat said, though Neku was unsure if he was entirely convinced. "An' I think maybe I was feelin' a bit left out."

"Yeah…but seriously, if you just want to cry or whatever, I'll drop my plans."

Beat shook his head. "…That would be pretty mean to your other friends."

"I'm serious." Dead serious.

"An' why would I text you, to say 'I'm cryin', that's weird, dude."

"You're crying right now," Neku pointed out.

"Huh."

He guessed Beat, didn't realise, but there were definitely a bunch of tears just rolling down his eyes right now. Beat was always a crier; another thing that Neku was glad didn't change.

At this point, the kids were definitely staring.

"Alright, let's go Beat. The special might not still be on, but I bet you could do with some ramen right now."

Getting up, he gathered his skateboard and helmet, helping Beat to do the same. They got more stares as they left the skate park, but Neku ignored them.

"Phones?"

They only just made it out of the entrance, and Neku turned to see that Beat was wiping his face his hand. "Thanks for that, man."

"Yeah, no worries. Just…just don't keep these kinda things in, okay?" Neku tugged at his hair, a habit that hadn't changed for him after the Game. "I don't know if whatever crap I just said was good advice or not, but that's just what I think. If that's good enough for you, then you know, you can talk to me."

"Okay," he grinned, looking a lot better already, even though his eyes were still puffy. "Yeah, I haven't talked about that before so I guess I needed to let it all out."

Neku nodded. "And I'm here, whenever you need to."

"If you've got anythin' to get off your chest, you can tell me too," Beat declared.

He swung an arm around Neku's shoulder, to which Neku would usually tell him to do a bit less zealously but he would let it slide this time. "Aight, now let's get some of that ramen you were talkin' about."

"Heh, of course."

He was glad that even if Beat wasn't completely better, he had cheered up a little. The idea of ramen probably helped too.

"Thanks again, Neku."

"Anytime."

…Wait, did he just call me –

"Man, I'm starved now, Phones. I'll race ya there!"

Beat took off before Neku could say anything else. He stood there for a bit, wondering if his ears were working right.

"Hey, what're you doin'? This is a race! Pick it up, Phones!"

Shaking his head, he sighed, even as a smile came to his face.

"I'm there!"

A/N: Tadaa! Wow, I haven't posted anything since…June 2017? Not to say I haven't been writing, but most things I posted on Ao3 because the fandoms I wrote for were there…Ew, that makes me feel totally disloyal now. Okay nope, that's it, I'm giving my fics back to ffnet first, always. That said, happy start of TSoS 2019: Hexa-Code Kernel. If you didn't already know, the Twelve Shots of Summer, is exactly that – twelve one-shots all through summer!

And of course, I thought I'd get my gears going into the mood by starting off with one of my still most beloved and favourite things to write about: TWEWY!

I wanted to write something a bit more Beat-centric, though for writing Beat I usually need a bit more of a warm-up before writing in his voice so…this happened. The prompt was 'Open()' and as you probably can tell I used it in an 'opening up' sense. Not to be confused with 'open up your senses' ;D *bdm tsss*

My twewy writing is a bit rusty but I hope I did okay with my fave boy Beat. Always thought that things might not always go well for him, even after the Game so yep. And I would think Neku tried to make some friends from class after the TWEWY game, though of course the Hachiko Gang are still his best friends.

Anyway, I hope this gave you some good twewy feels. Thanks for reading!

- Dina 09/06/2019

[brinytrolls]

Hey! I was wondering if maybe you could throw me a post of all your trolls and a lil blurb abt them? I'm a wee bit new to your blog and friggin love your trolls already but I don't know they're names v well or too much abt them.

OOOO ok sure anon!! im trying to work on a new select page with lots of new info on each troll…but due to university its taking me. a long ass time bc i got No Free Tiiiime 

anyway! ill go hemospectrum order, starting with lowest….and hopefully help u learn a little bit about em! ;v; [u can click their names to go to their character pages ;0 tags also included in case u wannna look em up on my blog!! i also have 2 dancestors so throw an ask if u wanna see them too] 

veleno caudae [#vcaudae]

🐍 severely underloved and underrapreciated-she’s a tough vintage city lesbian with a penchant for illegal things and pushing her luck. she works part time as a lounge singer and cabaret dancer, but thats not where her money comes from.

🎲 she likes to gamble against highbloods in risky games of chance, and often cheats or rigs the game. she doesn’t care, she needs the money more than they do. she’s probably one of the city’s richest lowbloods-but no one knows that.

🐍 she’s pretty coldhearted and untrusting of people-being by herself has gotten her this far, and she’s not about to change her system now. 

rest under the cut or this is gonna get LONG

florem viridi [#fviridi]

🐝 sweet lil jade gal just trying to breeze through life. [or..afterlife? it’s difficult to quantify when you’re a rainbow drinker.] life has kicked her down hard in the past, and she’s trying her best not to let it rule her in the present day, despite her anxieties about it.

🌱 she loves nature and all things that come with it-both the beautiful and the morbid. gardening is her main hobby, but it sits alongside hiking, outdoorsy sports, camping and tea making. not to mention a little dissection, taxidermy and carnivorous plant care to shake up her quads more than a little!

🐝 she’s the ultimate grandma friend–trying to feed up all of her friends and quads and help their lifestyle, but she’s not afraid to stand up for herself or tell you if you’re being ridiculous. she’s no pushover, and has a stubborn temper. she’s three ounces of whoop ass

sarkan sarky nerdal [#snerdal]

🐉 my blogs resident dumbass meme man & grubtuber. despite knowing how to build robots and being a pro at maths and science, he prefers to use his tech knowledge to run a pretty well known grubtube channel. he spends way too much time on the internet as a result. 

🎮 has no sense of self preservation whatsoever, doing dumb stunts he passes off as “parkour”, never sleeping [being a shifter doesn’t help], and generally leading a stupidly unhealthy lifestyle. he consumes enough caffeine in one day to fuel a small family, which doesn’t help with his paranoia and jitters about the empire. 

🐉 generally, he’s a pretty sweet dude, although he never knows when to stop joking or tone down the sarcasm. he’s trying his best.

harrel hierax [#harrel]

📰 stuck up birdboy. he works for the mafia, but not out of his own will, forced into it during his studies as a forensics student. he cleans up crime scenes for a price, and is one of the best in the business to cover up your tracks and stop you being chased down by the police. he’s incredibly professional and businesslike to his clients. 

🎷 behind closed doors and away from…illegal business…he’s a total recluse. a huge hypchondriac and germaphobe, he tries to avoid the outside world-and the people in it-in order to try and gain some control of his life. he compulsively and obsessively cleans and reorganises his apartments, hoping it’ll help his anxieties some. it doesn’t.

📰 in the rare alone moments he manages to chill, he really enjoys music, especially jazz. singing, piano and saxophone is a secret passion of his, not that he gets enough calm moments to practise anymore.

faldur gemela [#fgemela]

🐠 a BASTARD MAN. a violet-fuchsia cusp who thinks he’s the hottest shit around, and could not be more wrong if he tried. awful temper, sour disposition, and generally unfriendly attitude make him possibly the worst person to be around this side of the planet. alternia’s portrayal of seadwellers has him believing he’s above the others and deserves everything he wants, and he gets it.

👑 getting everything handed to him on a silver platter has made him jaded and bored-he’s reckless and impulsive with little empathy, turning to other trolls for entertainment ( 😉 ), as well as alcohol, bars, and the occasional murder. spoiled rich kid levels of boredom leads you to extreme things. 

🐠 his quads are trying to make him better, though-trying to make him focus on his less destructive hobbies like reading, writing, book restoration, astronomy and his 15 cats. it’s...a difficult process. 

ans thats everyone!! feel free to ask more stuff abt anyone ur interested in! im aLWAYS open to it!!

[michaelreaderreblog]

Angels and Hockey

AN: “ And I have a request for you as well!!!! Michael watching his first hockey game with reader. Don’t matter if it’s on tv or live at the arena. Don’t matter on the team either, you can choose on that part. Reader explains why the referee blew the whistle and why the one goal is called off. So as the game goes on he is beginning to understand the game and begins getting frustrated with calls and goals. Even noticed an angel has taken a particular well known hockey player for a host vessel. 😃😃😃” A request made by @jacobmarkstrom25 I hope I wrote this to your expectations and sorry I wrote it out so long but I couldnt help myself. I liked a few parts and well this is the outcome of it all. I hope everyone enjoys this one and thanks for reading and requesting. Requests are always open

**********************************************

Word Count: 4,733

You and your brothers finish up a case with no problems at all. A case that took you all the way to Vancouver, Canada. The drive up was even beautiful.

“Who else needs an ice pack” Dean asks while getting them from the cooler

“Im good. I just took an advil” Sam replies while getting comfortable on the bed

“Wow you guys are old” you say while looking between them

“Shut up” Dean says while getting on the bed and try and get comfortable as well

“So we staying for a couple of days?” you ask looking up from your laptop

“Yeah. I want to go fishing” Dean says while laying on the bed

“I want to check out the farmers markets and just explore” Sams turn to add in

Once you got your answer, you continued going through the Vancouver Canucks website. The beloved hockey team to the city.

For once you wanted to check out a hockey game but you werent sure if your brothers would want to go with you.

“Do any of you want to check out a hockey game? I can buy the tickets” you ask before purchasing them

“No thanks” Dean says

“No but thanks for asking” Sam says while looking to you

After they both reply you hear a familiar sound of wings in the room

“Michael” Sam says looking to him

“You’re late to the party. We cleaned up the mess here” Dean says adjusting the pillows behind him

“My help wasnt needed then” Michael says coming to sit with you

“Nah” Dean replies while continuing to relax on the bed

“Catch any other cases?” Michael asks looking between all three of you

“No, other hunters caught a few and are taking care of them” Dean says while finally getting comfortable

“What now?” Michael asks

“Well we are going to spend a couple more days here and just explore the city” Sam says while getting up from the bed and getting himself a beer.

He throws Dean one as well, he looks to you if you would like one but you nod. He goes back to the bed.

“Michael would you like to go to a hockey game with me?” you ask looking away from your laptop

“I would love to” he agrees with a smile

“If I hear one more thing about hockey. Im gonna puke” Dean says looking to you

“Hockey” you reply while smirking to him

“Bugger” Dean mutters to himself

You heard what he said and giggled. Sam rolls his eyes at the both of you.

“So when is this game?” Michael asks looking to you

“The game is tonight. So we should head out soon” you tell him while an email is being sent

You opened the email and your digital tickets were emailed. You downloaded the file and it was done.

“Are you guys going to be ok by yourselves for a few hours?” you ask looking between Sam and Dean

“Yes. You know we can take care of ourselves” Dean says while looking to you

“Before yes. Now you’re old is why Im asking” you reply

“Bugger” Dean says once more

“Get out” Sam says pointing to the door while getting a laugh out of it

Michael with the snap of his fingers brings the both of you outside the Rogers Arena

“What time does the game start?” Michael asks standing beside you.

“The game starts in an hour” you tell him while looking to your watch

“What shall we do for an hour?” he asks looking around

“Well I want to eat” you reply

Michael then zaps the both of you to a restaurant. All the zapping is getting you dizzy but you were getting used to it. Slowly.

“I didnt realize how hungry I was. Those appetizers didnt do a thing” you say while finishing off the last of your nachos

“Those nachos were really good” he says while wiping his hands

Once the main course meal was placed in front of you is when you finished it off with no problem at all. Michael did the same as well and thankfully he is full

“Ok that was the greatest meal” you say while cleaning the table

“How much more time til the game starts?” he asks placing his plate on top of yours.

You cleaned the table before the waitress came and made her job easier. All she had to do was take the plates, cups and utensils away while wiping the table.

“Half hour” you reply looking to your watch

The both of you get up from the table and walk to the register to pay for the meal. The waitress comes back and is thankful for the table is cleaned. She is also thankful for the generous tip.

Once the both of you are in front of the arena is when you walk in the building. You line up to get your tickets scanned. You pull out your phone and open the email with the tickets. Once they scan your tickets is when the both of you walk in the direction of your seats.

“These are amazing seats” Michael says as soon as the both of you get to your seats

You managed to get ice level seats for the both of you.

“You know the rules of the game?” you ask smiling to him

“Yes I do. I was there when the game was created, just waited for someone to come along and take the game far” he says while looking to you.

As the players begin to take the ice for pregame warm ups is when you got excited because you never got the chance to attend these types of games.

Never had the time. Dean and Sam went to these types of things but it was never the sport that interested you. So you never went with them.

You and Michael talk about the case that you and your brothers finished to pass the time. Finally when it was time for puck drop is when Michael is fascinated.

The Canucks score the first goal and the crowd goes wild. You and Michael cheer as loud as the both of you can. The arena is loud with cheers and hollers for their favourite player.

You see Daniel Sedin skate by and made your inner fan girl jump for joy. You see him nod to Michael and wondered if it was just a fan appreciation kind of thing. You didnt think much of it

Michael couldnt believe who he just saw, he thought he died right after the fall because no one has ever heard from him in a while.

Soon after the first goal was scored, another was scored but it wasnt the home team. It was the opposing team and the game is tied in the first period.

Michael keeps an eye for anyone else he is familiar with but no one is. Only the one Daniel Sedin.

“Enjoying yourself?” you ask while never taking your eyes off from the game

“Yes I am” he answers quickly

He leaps out of his seat for an embellished penalty call against the Canucks and the opposing team is on the power play. Leaving the Canucks one man short.

“That was an unnecessary call” Michael says while sitting back in his seat

“Very agreeable” you reply while the opposing team scores once more.

They lead by one goal and the first period is over. Intermission while everyone gets out of their seats and goes to the food vendors or even alcohol vendors.

“Thanks for coming with me to the game. Dean nor Sam wanted to come, they wanted to do their own thing. Which I dont mind but it just would have been nice for a family thing” you tell him while the zamboni makes its rounds

“Not a problem. We all need to do our own things when they havent been practised in a long time and the three of you hunt as a family. So I see that as a family thing” he says as he looks to you.

Daniel looks across the rink and sees Michael. Well the angel hosting his body sees Michael and wondered how he escaped out of the cage. He will wait until the second period is over to tell him to wait for him after the game. Along with the Winchester girl.

As the second period is about to start, the players come back to their benches but the goalies switch sides.

“Now we get to see all the action” you say while looking to the main face off

“NO MORE STUPID CALLS REF!!” Michael yells while banging on the glass

Other people in your section clap and agree to his comment.

Finally the Canucks score to tie the game in the second period and the goal is by Henrik Sedin assisted by Daniel. His brother.

After puck drop from the main face off the Canucks score another goal but that was called off for goalie interference.

“THAT WAS A GOOD GOAL!!! HE DIDNT TOUCH HIM!!!” it was your turn to leap out of your seat and yell at the ref for the stupid call.

You and Michael both look to the jumbotron to review the play. Over and over they showed the clip and the entire arena cheered because they see the goal is good. The goalie was untouched.

“THATS A GOOD GOAL!!!!” you yell once more

You notice that Michael is chuckling to himself and you look over to him and wonder why he is chuckling to himself.

“Whats so funny?” you ask looking to Michael

“Every time you go frantic over the call, the camera man always points the camera on you” he replies while laughing once more

You look up to the jumbotron once and sure enough, the camera is right on you but soon switches back to the call.

Daniel sees what you are doing and chuckles to himself as he watches you go frantic over the call and appreciates that. For the teams sake.

Back at the room Dean and Sam are having a laugh while watching the game.

“Looks like they are having fun” Dean says while taking a gulp from his beer

“You see that one players eyes glow?” Sam asks pointing to the TV

“No, what they glow?” Dean asks looking to Sam and the TV

“Hope they will have replay and wish these TV’s had the option to pause” Sam says in hopes they will have the replay

Sure enough as they replay the one play is when they both noticed Daniel’s eye glow blue as he chases the puck down.

“It could be the glare from the camera flashes off his visor” Dean says not really thinking of anything

“Maybe” is all Sam says but once the game is over is when he will research this once the game is over

He feels as though an angel is hosting a vessel

They finally rule that the goal is good and the Canucks finally have the tying game

“Well its about time” you say while sitting back down.

As the period ends is when you notice Daniel Sedin skating towards the both of you is when you get all excited once more

“Michael wait for me after the game” Daniel says looking to him

Michael nods and feels something familiar about him

“How do you know Daniel Sedin?” you ask while feeling excited

“I dont but we’ll see how this goes” he says never keeping his eyes off of him.

“Mind staying after the game?” he asks looking to you once he doesnt see him anymore

“Sure, I dont” you reply very quickly

“An angel is using that hockey player as a vessel” Michael says looking to you.

You look to him quickly and couldnt believe what he just said

“Who?” you ask

“Lets get drinks” he says while he leads the way to the vendors

You follow him up the stairs and leads the way to the nearest one. He gets himself a water while you get a coffee.

“You think Daniel is a vessel?” you ask

“Yes I do but I am not sure who is using him as a vessel” he says while the both of you slowly make your back to the seats

“What are we going to do?” you ask while making your way down the stairs

“Well we are going to stay after the game and hear what he has to say” Michael says while taking a sip from his water

“Alright” is you say and the players come back for the third and final period.

Back at the room Sam manages to find a clip from the game and goes through the one play where he saw the glowing blue eyes.

“Hey check this out” Sam says while freezing on the one player that glowed the blue eyes

“Angel? Or something else?” Dean asks once he has the laptop in front of him

“Let me screen print this and I’ll send it to y/n” Sam says cropping out a few things from the screen print.

When he is done, he sends it to you and maybe Michael would know something about it.

“Sent” Sam says while Dean is placing his laptop to the side

“You think y/n can handle this?” Dean asks while looking away from the TV and to Sam

“She has Michael and I am most definitely sure she will call if she needs more help” Sam says looking away from the TV and to Dean

“I knew we should have went to the game with her” Dean says with regret

“Shes fine. She has Michael” Sam reassures him

Its the last minute of the third period and the Canucks are in a comfortable lead. When the final buzzer goes off is when everyone cheers and sighs of relief.

“Well moment of truth” you say as a notification goes off on your phone

You pull out your phone and its a text from Sam. He sent a picture and you open it right away. Its a picture of Daniel Sedin with blue glowing eyes and captions ‘you might be up against something’

You show the text to Michael and he sees what Sam has captured

“Tell him its alright. An angel and I am going to find out more” Michael says while giving you back your phone

“I will send that now” you say while texting back to Sam

“You: We know. Its an angel using him as a vessel. Michael is going to find out who” you hit send

Sam pulls out his phone and reads the text

“Dean, they know. Michael is going to find out more” Sam tells him while Dean was about to get ready

“Find out more as in who the angel is?” Dean asks putting his jacket down.

“Seems that way” Sam says while waiting for another text from you.

They sit in the room patiently waiting. Dean on the other hand just wants to head down to the arena and find out what is going on.

“I dont think we need my brothers right?” you ask after reading the text from Sam

“No, we will be fine” Michael replies while getting up from the seat and heading out

“I will let Sam know that we wont be needing back up” you tell him while sending a quick text.

As the both of you make your way to the players entrance is when a security guard stops Michael. They both have a quick conversation and both look to you. You knew Michael was telling him about what Daniel said and the guard let him through along with you.

“You and Daniel must go way back if its important to meet up with you” the guard says while leading the both of you to the players lounge.

“We sure do. All the way back to Sweden” Michael says while walking beside him

“Alright wait in here and make yourselves comfortable” the guard says and disappears into the players locker room

Well what it appears to be.

“Did you want me to wait in the hall or here?” you ask looking to Michael

“See what hes comfortable with” Michael replies looking to you as he grabs your hand

You smile to the gesture and go close to him as you give him a kiss to the lips.

“I didnt realize you two are bonded” Daniel says as he comes into the lounge

“Yes we are. We have been for a while” Michael looks to him with a faint smile

“I guess Castiel wasnt the only one who is fond of the Winchester’s” Daniel says while walking closer to the both of you.

“Ezekiel” Michael says as Daniel gets closer.

Michael smiles once he realizes who he is, past the vessel.

“Finally you come to realization on who I am” Ezekiel says looking to Michael as he places his hand on his shoulder

“May we have a word in private. Sorry y/n but I’d like to speak to my brother in private” Ezekiel says looking to you

“Sure, I can wait out in the hall. I saw a bench some where down the hall” you reply while smiling to him

“If you just walk out there is another lounge where they serve coffee. Its for the wives and girlfriends” Ezekiel says looking to you.

Instead he leads you to the lounge and sure enough the servers are still there but the room is empty

“Thank you” you tell him

“Not a problem. Ion can take care of you” he says while looking to the server and his eyes glow blue as well.

“Winchester” is all he says and continues doing what he was doing before the both of you walked into the room

“What can I get you?” he asks leaning against the bar

“Coffee” is all you say and he places the order for you.

“You come here with your brothers and Michael?” he asks while serving you the coffee and the cream and sugar

“Well my brothers and I came here for a case and we handled it pretty well. Michael showed up after we cleaned up the mess” you tell him while taking a sip from you coffee and its really good

“Nice. Happy to hear you three cleaned up the mess” he says while wiping down the counter top

“Im glad to see you arent as hostile as the other angels and Ezekiel” you admit while setting your coffee down.

“Well when I heard Castiel was looking for Metatron and seeking retribution. I knew that you Winchester’s would be doing the same with Amara” he says while looking to you.

“After all that why didnt you go back to Heaven like all the angels did?” you ask

“What happen to you? I thought you perished” Michael says as soon as Ezekiel/Daniel enter into the players lounge and takes a seat across from Michael on the arm chair

“Well I didnt get in touch with the other angels because my grace was partially mutilated” he says looking to his hands

“This vessel. How did you come across this athlete?” Michael asks once more

“Well once I found a temporary one, which wasnt holding me well and Daniel Sedin was hospitalized after sustaining a major injury” he replies remembering back to the time he found Daniel in a hospital.

His hockey career was in jeopardy when the injury came along. He wasnt ready to walk away from the game just yet and prayed constantly for a speedy recovery. Until his prayers were sort of answered.

“You didnt force yourself on him?” Michael asks in hopes he wouldnt.

He hoped he wouldnt be the type of abomination to forcefully take a vessel.

“Father no. Once I saw him, I told him who I was and once I asked if I can take him as my vessel. I can heal him and also heal myself. He liked the idea so much he didnt hesitate. He didnt want his hockey career to end” Ezekiel said while looking to Michael.

“How did you get here to Vancouver?” Michael asks never taking his eyes off of Ezekiel

“During the fall, I ended up falling in a park called Stanley Park here in Vancouver” he replies while slightly smiling

“Dean and Sam found out you were something celestial due to the grace glowing during the game” Michael tells him

“Well I guess they arent useless at all” Ezekiel says while chuckling

“You are still doing Heavens work and I cant say anything about that” Michael says while looking around the lounge

He looks to the TV in front of him and notices its on the sports channel showing the replays from earlier games.

“Either way still doing the Lord’s work” he says while his smile never fades

“Daniel is an amazing husband, father and athlete. Something I thought I would never enjoy but I do” Ezekiel says while looking to his hands

“Ezekiel the prophet and now a healer. Always doing whats right, Im extremely proud of you” Michael says while looking back to his brother.

“Thank you” he says while feeling shocked he heard Michael say that.

“And what is of Heaven?” he asks looking to Michael

“Well Heaven is restored but still short of angels. Im in the process of making more but still need to train them. For they are fledglings” Michael replies

“Who is in charge?” he asks curiously

“I left Hannah in charge, she knows what she is doing and she is very trustworthy” Michael says while looking to his brother once more

He wants to ask if he would like to come back to Heaven and train the fledglings during the off season but he gets the feeling he would rather enjoy the time off as Daniel.

“You enjoy the hockey game? Y/n sure did” Ezekiel asks looking to Michael

“Yes I did enjoy the game and it was my first” he replies while chuckling at the thought of your reactions.

“When I found Ezekiel, we had long conversations about going back but in the end we decided to stay earth bound” Ion says looking to you.

You already finished your second cup of coffee and basically enjoying a conversation with an angel.

“How did the both of you find each other?” you ask while tilting your head to the side

Ion looks to you and couldnt help but smile for it reminded him of a certain angel.

“Well it was during training camp last season and I already got this job. I saw him and knew that there something familiar about him” he says while taking the cup from you.

“Your grace” is all you say while holding onto every word he says

“My grace was broken from the fall and being locked out of Heaven but wasnt lost. I could still sense other angels” he says while looking to you.

“Wow and now you work as a server at the Rogers Arena and attend to the wives and girlfriends of the team” you say while smiling

“By night yes. By day I work as a librarian” he says while finishing cleaning his station

“I always wanted to work in a library but with these monsters out there. I couldnt” you tell him while following his every movements.

“Are you and Michael bonded?” he asks being curios about the both of you being together at the hockey game

“Yes we are. We have been for a while, well after he escaped the cage and some how he lead himself to the bunker” you tell him while remembering those days

It felt like a life time ago

“After the release of the darkness is when he got out of the cage. Not escaped” he corrects you.

“How was that even possible anyway?” you ask while you never got the chance to ask Michael yourself

“Well the cage is only meant to hold Lucifer and if any being is ever released to earth is when the warding is weakened for Michael” he says while remembering the testaments as a fledgling.

“So thats how he got out of the cage” you say in a hushed tone

“Well it was good seeing you and speaking with you. I think its time I head home” Ezekiel says while getting up from the arm chair

“Like wise. I think Dean and Sam are anxiously waiting for our return to the room” Michael says as they both walk out of the lounge and into the lounge you are in.

You look to the door and see the both of them walk in with smiles on their faces.

“I take it was a good reunion then” you say while looking to them

“Yes it is” Ezekiel says looking to you.

“Well it was good the both of you and hope to meet up again soon” Michael says while looking to his brothers

“I hope as well. Never know we can be fighting side by side once more” Ion says while waving the both of you off.

Finally Michael zaps the both of you back to the room.

Dean and Sam look to the both of you. Once they land their eyes on you is when they both begin to laugh.

You give a sour look at them and makes them laugh even more.

“Why are you guys laughing?” you ask while taking your jacket off and placing it over the chair

“We saw you go nuts on camera during that one play there” Dean says while finally containing his laughing.

“Oh geez” you reply while sinking into the chair

“Anyways, how was your evening guys?” you ask while getting up and getting beers from the fridge and giving everyone

“Well we didnt get the chance to do the things we wanted but we are going to do them tomorrow” Sam says while opening his beer

“Dean I will go fishing with you” you say while looking to him

“Sam, I will go to the farmers market with you. And actually tell you what is organic” Michael says looking to Sam

“Thanks, Im good with that” he replies while smiling to him

“Me and baby girl spending some much needed time” Dean says as he sits next to you and wraps his arm around your neck.

“Awesome” you smile to him while looking to Michael.

“So the angel taking a vessel. Who was it? And who was the vessel?” Sam asks looking to Michael

“Ezekiel, he is taking a Daniel Sedin as a vessel” Michael replies while looking to Sam

“How did he end up using him as a vessel?” Dean asks finishing off his beer

“Well after the fall and him almost loosing his grace. He heard Daniel’s prayer and went to the hospital. He sustained a career ending injury but when Ezekiel told him who he was and immediately said yes about taking him as a vessel” Michael continues while remembering his story.

“While Ezekiel was healing Daniel, he was also healing himself and while Daniel healed. He felt younger while playing the game and wanted Ezekiel to say longer” Michael adds while looking between Dean and Sam

“So he never wanted to go back to Heaven?” Sam asks

“No, he didnt have any interest in going back to Heaven at all” Michael replies looking to you.

“Are there other angels taking vessels in other leagues?” Dean asks looking to Michael

“I have no idea. Ezekiel didnt mention anything” Michael replies while thinking back to their conversation.

“Well I am going to check out the bar and even get myself a labatt” Dean smiles as he mentions the Canadian beer.

You immediately think of Bobby, the time he told you and your brothers the story of taking a case in Saskatchewan and celebrating with labatts with a fellow hunter.

You loved how Michael liked to hang around with your brothers, even though it was a bad start but that faded once the darkness came along.

Michael enjoyed the time with you at the hockey game and loved every moment of it. For once there was no hunting involved or the talks of monsters or angels killing each other. It was a good evening.

The break that you all some what needed and it was a great one.

[michaelsongrace]

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[survivormontenegro]

Episode 9: “-28... negative. 28. negative. twenty. eight.” - Jason

i'm fully a psycho, i practiced my acting in the mirror to pretend I accidentally voted Ian. its a mess. a REAL mess. and I might have done it for no reason, they took it super well so maybe I... shouldn't tell Jason...

i literally am why Ian left. I wanted him out since round two, and I made it happen even though nobody wanted it to. I FINALLY ACTUALLY MADE A MOVE IN A GAME. I FINALLY DID SOMETHING I'M SO HAPPY asldfa. I could CRY, I can leave this game happy.

um da fuck alalkdgh well I aldlkj so alkjdfc;l.

^ decipher thats all I got.

No honestly I don't know what to think right now. Everyone went crazy last tribal and I feel like I need to explain myself a little bit? First off my alliance voted someone oppositely of what they told me they'd do. And secondly, they used me as a total fallback. And what made it me CRACKED asf was that they told me none of it. Like we talked in the morning about how shit was going to go down tonight and decided on Jason. We were all in agreement and it was in motion. Later Tom asked me what the vote was and I was told to tell him Ian. Except Alex told me that he told him Me. Without warning me. At all. Which is like shitty. So I kinda got paranoid and started asking around and seeing what was what, and thats when Tom came up to me and said that there was a big blindside to vote me off led by Alex. Of course, my initial thought was that this could be happening and he made this big plan to vote off Alex and I talked to Ali about it but ULTIMATELY I decided to go with Jason as I promised. My mistake I guess was telling Jones, who I really trusted, saying that they wanted to make a move on Alex but I trusted him and said I voted Jason. I only said so because I was worried that it might fall through and I might need to be saved by her idol. Which I know is hers of course and I don't want to dictate when she can use it but with this insanity going around I just was really nervous. But honestly I can't believe that Alex and them all just decided against voting Jason without telling me. They said it was to save me, which of course is true, but they didn't tell me. And it was SHITTY for Alex to not tell me that he threw my name to Tom, like truly dumb. I know I've said I might want him out soon a lot, but honestly I HAVE NO IDEA what I'm going to be doing with the next tribal. I do wanna say tho that I like him as a person a whole lot! He's sweet and loyal and really kind, I just think he's gonna end up dominating this game if people let him.

PS I don't know if Julia has a problem with me. We were suppose to be voting together for Jason, and while she doesn't owe me anything, she just wouldn't talk to me. Like I think I wouldn't have CRACKED so hard if I could just reach her and get a grip on how she was voting.

She's being chaotic on purpose but only to me? I don't get it.

okay I'm off the alliance call. I just sent a really like emo paragraph to my hostchat but I'm so happy, which is gross because I just did Ian so dirty but lemme explain.

I have played 7 games before this (3 Survivor, 4 Big Brother) - I've come 2nd in five of those games, and without exception I have never EVER played a game I'm proud of. I always make fun of my game for being crap. Like I'm always a goat, always crap, and always play passively.

I'm so excited about this season and this game because... I'm finally playing the game and a game I am proud of. Like I'm not fussed about winning or making FTC, because lets be real, it fully is not happening, but I wanna leave the season proud of my game. And I already so am, like... I've wanted Ian out since round two, and I've been determined to make it happen.

And I did that. I literally was angling to get him out via a vote switch and then when the vote split came up, I knew exactly what to do. I knew Ian would be less willing to make amends and more able to make connections. I knew Ian was a threat and so urgently needed to be removed because he could keep a grip on the game.

I can't believe that. In a tribe of twelve people, where nobody wanted Ian out (the four votes for him were all just for the sake of a vote split), and I singlehandedly forced it through. I saw a target, knew to make a move and got them out. IM SO HAPPY.

in other news... I am a psycho, I literally went to a mirror, practised how to look shocked and then went on that call and acted my HEART OUT. I think people bought it, but it is. the. most. cracked. thing. I. have. ever. done.

I'm now kinda stuck, because I have two options. Either I tell Jason what I did earning his trust, or I just... try and work with Jason without telling him. One is riskier with more potential long term benefit, and one is a much safer bet. I am gonna think on it and decide tomorrow.

Also I was really mean about Jones, Mo & Alex in my confessionals earlier. I take it back, on calls they are so FUN. I think they just aren't texting people so I don't judge. Doesn't mean I necessarily wanna go too far with them, but I love them as people and feel bad for being mean.

also since this round solidified that much as I'm proud of my game, I'm not making FTC, I'd rank people in the order I'd vote for them as a juror as:

Jules > Alex > Mitch > Tom > Benj > Jones > Julia > Jason > Caeleb > Mo

Jules/Alex/Mitch seem very switched on, Tom making it to the end would be a real underdog journey, Benj is a king and has the right idea with an undercover duo, Jones/Julia savvy queens, Jason actually also has an underdog story we will need to see with that one, Caeleb telling Jones about the Alex plan is a real dumb move imo which lowers his rank for me. Mo is my SON and I love him but would need to see more game from him to be comfortable voting him at FTC in any scenario.

also ian talking about dom not deserving to win switzerland set off kill bill red flags for me. nobody who talks about dom negatively lives to tell the tale, you go BYEBYE. but also ian ilysm, like you were a major threat and had to go, but on a personal level i love you with my whole heart.

okay last confessional for now, the two moods:

June 30th yeehaw

July 2nd

Extra notes:

Benj and i are working on the idol hunt together and I’m already on like,, 30 w him so it’s gucci, I’m not gonna tell Alex ab it or anything bc I kinda wanna try and stray away from him a bit?? Like he doesn’t have to know EVERYTHING Ab my advantages yk?

And I’m probs not gonna try and use the vote cover on anyone rn bc every single one of my allies is like,,, up for exposure???? So that’s wacky,,

Also bc Ian was absolutely ROBBED of jury we’re thinking it’s a F2

Bc OF COURSE IT IS which I’m not mad ab but I have to think ab who i’d Really want to sit with,,, best case scenario for me is probs Benj,, maybe Mo? Not too sure,, but um ya barbecue sauce on my thiddies here we go into f11 onward and upward amirite

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RGv10gbJxVU

this was b4 tribal 

So I lost Ian... and I'm kinda mad about it! I can't help but feel like I'm on my way to the jury because even the next day people are still acting super weird with me. I don't really understand how I'm a threat to anyone right now though??? Like I guess the Me/Ian power duo thing was valid but Ian's gone now so that argument should be moot.

I have no idea what to do moving forward. Up this point my game has been based on how I interpret conversations with people and how much I thought I could trust them... but I can't do shit if no one wants to talk to me (and I cannot stress ENOUGH how much sense this doesn't make).

The one good thing about me staying in the game I guess is I now have free reign to do whatever the fuck I want with my time left here. If I can blow up as many games as possible and stir the pot as much as I can at least I go out having fun?? Right?? But bottom line is I fully intend on lone-wolfing this game for however long I'm still here for.

My current first steps are to first throw Julia under the bus to Caeleb, and hopefully get something going with Caeleb. If I'm in with Caeleb, it might help with Alex, Jones, and Mo using me as a number.

Next is to pretty much sell my soul to the kingpin of this entire thing right now, Alex. I'm imagining a faux-Phillip Sheppard scenario where I tell Alex he owns my vote, but he doesn't really. I have no clue if he'd bite but it's worth trying because what the fuck else do I have left.

On the topic of Alex, I could also try to shift his attention into targeting someone like Mitch or Benj? I can embellish a little bit and tell Alex that Mitch is spreading a rumor that he has the Dirt People Idol or something along those lines.

Next on the (tentative) agenda is to talk with Jules and try to see where I stand with her. For some reason I feel the most burned by her from last tribal?? I don't trust her at all but as long as she thinks that door is still open I'll hear what she has to say. Maybe I can guilt her into giving me more info as well?

And the last thing I can think of is try making a better connection with Mo and Jones, and hopefully start some sort of game relationship with those two. I don't really see myself getting far with this one considering these two have been hit or miss in the conversations I've had with them, but there isn't anything worth not trying at this point.

Back to a less gamebotty point of view, I've honestly been oscillating between being angry and being upset about how last tribal broke down, mainly because I feel like Ali, Julia, and Mitch could've waited a lot longer to do something like this if they were worried about me and Ian (which I still believe they had very little reason to be worried right now in the first place). But I also feel like I had 9 doors slam in my face and the only person I can still be real with is Tom. I'm back at square one and I'm not happy about it, but I didn't come back to this godforsaken ORG to go down easy so I've gotta keep moving for as long as I can.

(Also I need to be willing to let go of Tom. I'm not gonna go out of my way to burn him, but I'm also beyond the point of wanting to stick my neck out too far for him. My longevity is the only priority right now.)

okay so... this vote is operation get Caeleb out of here. I really wanted to work with Caeleb, and I think he could have been a really useful number, but like... him telling Jones about the plan to vote Alex really, really rubbed me the wrong way. Like I do not trust him at all after that, I really do not know where we are at now.

So here is the goal. I'm about to call Jason and hopefully get him back on side. Then hopefully between Jules and I, we can convince Space Jam to vote Caeleb (I'm still confused how close he is to Mo/Jones/Alex, could be a good test). With Caeleb, a potential number for them, out of the way, next round its time for a big move, its time for one of Jones/Alex/Mo to go.

The numbers for that move would be (hopefully) Me, Jules, Julia, Tom, Jason, Mitch (6/10) + Benj hopefully, or at worst I'll just keep him in the loop. I really think Caeleb going could be so so good, it really opens up numbers and weakens Jones/Mo/Alex - it also narrows down where the idol is, something that we have to stay conscious of.

At the moment, my closest allies are definitely Jules and Benj. Jules is just.... the best, so woke, so on the ball, I am LOVING playing this season with them. Benj is such a king, my earliest like 'proper' ally even though Julia approached me after like 0.5 seconds in the game ha. I love Benj, and at the moment he also is quite out of the loop, he could also be a workable FTC option. I'm really stuck with Jules and FTC - you would be crazy to take Jules, as articulate and smart as they are, to FTC, but I really don't think I could face writing Jules' name down, I would feel AWFUL.

Also thoughts on Tom? He is too good for this world, he was so sweet about Ian/Jason going and like I really relate to the emotions he feels in games, on a personal level he is the best.

I feel like my plan going forwards is vote off Caeleb, then Alex, then Jones/Mo, and then figure it out from there. I really think if I play it right, I can slowly and calmly continue to have real swing over this game, I'm mc'loving it.

Also, because I keep doing this and its a fun pattern at this point, this is the order in which I would vote for people at FTC, if I go 11th at the moment:

Jules > Jason > Alex > Julia > Mitch > Jones > Tom > Benj > Caeleb > Mo

okay i just called Jason, such a king! i feel like i was VERY awkward, and I like I didn't articulate myself very well, but... he gets that we are going to need to potentially pull some shenanigans. I really want Caeleb then Alex, but if we need to just do Alex first, I can deal with that.

I think ideal situation is Tom wins immunity, Space Jam wants to vote Caeleb - we all go along with it, and then Alex goes next round, but we will see eek!

Oh wow hi it’s me, Mo.

So here’s the rundown on what’s happened the past couple rounds for my dumbass. First let’s start off with getting to merge, it’s a talent of mine, don’t look at my Italy placement. We’re out of that dumb fucking cave so no more waiting which is great. Another cool thing is I’m actually allies with Julia now which is weird because I’m going to be honest I was terrified of her going into this game. We had a past game experience that made me fearful. But now I’m sitting comfy in a majority alliance with Alex, Ali, Jones, Jules & Julia. By the way this is a first time thing for me, being in a majority alliance during merge. So this at least guarantees me final 7 or 6. It took me four tries to spell guarantees, who’s idea was it to put the u in front of the a it’s fucking stupid. But like here’s the thing, my gameplay is somewhat underwhelming. Basically my game relies on jury management and likability. Because I can’t strategize for shit, I just kinda smile and waddle forward when a door opens. I thought at this part of the game I would be close allies with Tom again but that didn’t happen. Apparently JJ told Tom about an alliance made in old Durmitor with Alex, Jules, Jones & Evan??? Made to like simmer JJ down. So now Tom doesn’t want to work with any of them (Which mind you three of them are my close allies) so he confronted Alex about it and I think he was like butthurt about not being included??? But like bitch I wasn’t included either but I’m not sulking about it. It wasn’t even a serious alliance. Also back to my alliances, sorry I know this is mixed up. MESSY, WHO BROUGHT NAPKINS IM GETTING MESSY. But I was also in an alliance with Alex, Jones & Caeleb after the swap. Called the Durmitor Dominators which is still a thing. But Caeleb wasn’t added to the Space Jam alliance with the group of 6 so I’m like??? What’s going on there??? I should probably talk about it with Alex because I am confusion. Also now there’s this new twist since we got out of the Dua Lipa cave, now we have to adjust to the sunlight with this exposure twist which basically means whoever gets eliminated gets to expose three people and whoever is exposed still by the tribal has to write who they’re voting for in chat. So I love that. But that’s about it for me thank you for taking the time to read this.

I DO NOT WANT TO BE VOTING JASON AT ALL THE FUCK I WANT TO GET ALEX THE FUCK OUT OF HERE BUT NO CAELEB APPARENTLY WANTS TO VOTE JASON I HATE THIS THEY REALLY ARE TRYING TO GET MY HOMIE JASON OUT!!! WAS I CONSPIRING AGAINST HIM AND IAN ALL WEEK? MAYBE SO! BUT I DON'T WANT HIM OUT YET!!! I DON'T!! WE ARE TRYING TO BLINDSIDE ALEX BUT THIS AIN'T WORKING UGHGHGHGHG *STOMPS ON THE GROUND* UGHGHGHGH I HATE THIS GOODBYE

Sooo besides the fact that it took me 5 minutes to find the confessional tab because I havent been doing these im here to update!!! Ian was just voted out and although i'm fine with it for now, I was NOT expecting a split vote. That makes me feel a little bit nervous going further into the game. I did think it was beneficial to split up the Jason/Ian duo but i was expecting Jason to go; not Ian. Anywho im almost positive im in the same predicament this vote. I've mended my relationship with Jason and im working very well with Tom to flip the script on Alex (who I believe to be running the game). Typically I would wait a few more rounds to get Alex out, but if everyone is playing for him to win, I might miss my opportunity like I did in my last season. I'm not blind! I'll do whatever it takes to go far and put myself in people's endgames. RN swapped Durmitor has the power. I dont necessarily like that because although im not on bad terms with them, I'm definitely on the bottom of that totem pole.

Tom sent seven confessionals in a row to be put at different places throughout this and last episode??? I guess??? But no thank you, so enjoy the thoughts in the order he apparently had them. ~Drew

*1 hour before tribal*

WHY IS ALEX SO CRACKED HONESTLY alex has said ian, caeleb and jason to 3 people i dont understand i am most likely getting played here but i dont want any of them to go, i see very high potential when working with all three of them so i think im going to try to make a big move and take out alex. I'm immune this round but next round im not so its a bit risky. I think Ali and Jules would be on board if there was the numbers there so if me ian jason julia ali and caeleb all voted together that would be majority and alex would be the first blindside of the game....

Tom

*10 hours before tribal council*

Everyone is pretty much dead silence i feel like everyone has an idea of who they would like to target but no one is really wanting to be the first person to throw a name out there so like its gonna get so fucking messy whilst im asleep and imma wake up to one big mess i already know it

Tom

*1-2 hours before tribal*

Okay so I've just woken up and i just spoke to alex and he seems like he just wants to do anything to get his ass safe this round which is sketch af, he is saying the vote is caeleb to me so thats cool and all but i asked caeleb what he was hearing just to get both sides and caeleb said alex said jason..... so like wtf is alex trying to do.....

TOM

ABORT MISSION ABORT MISSION sinking ship is near i cba voting for alex now that he has told jones, he did the same thing as evan and i am just ready for his ass to go out the door ugh im so annoyed!

Tom

OKAY I CANNOT DEAL WHO THE FUCK IS THIS CAELEB KID HONESTLY WHY ARE YOU SUCH A FUCKING IDIOT WHY DID YOU GO AND TELL JONES LITERALLY ALL OF WHAT I SAID....ITS A KNOWN FACT THAT THEY'RE A DUO OPEN YOUR STUPID EYES IDIOT!!!! THANKS SO MUCH NOW IMMA GET FUCKED OVER AND GET TARGETED BY ALEX AND HIS MINIONS NEXT ROUND. THIS IS WHAT I GET FOR TRYING TO SAVE SOMEONE I WANT TO WORK WITH IN THIS GAME....

Tom

*Tribal just happened*

Oh okay uhm well thats just fucking sad. I would like to say i never cry when a close ally is eliminated but i am a mess, i am crying right now at work and my driver is like "uhm are you okay..." yeah man im okay just crying over an ally that essentially died because i cant even speak to him anymore rip :( I miss ian so much i am so fucking furious that i am blindsided again at merge tho.... also really 9 people were in on that blindside split vote.....WOW! I am so surprised that ali and jules didnt tell me about the plan tbh they can say all they want about how they thought i knew but like if you thought i knew you should've just spoken to me about the vote.... like WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU SPLIT UP JIAN when JONEX is still in the game they're much more dangerous and so much harder to get out every round we get closer.

Tom

waa waaa waaa call the wambulance! My plan is working so far i think tbh, mitch has been very responsive about this round and i am fairly certain that he has realised how fucked of a position he is in this game without me and jason here so he made an alliance chat which is good because that means he will work with us even just for this round. I think a lot of people now jian is out, have realised the next big big duo in this game is jalex so hopefully the movement on them occurs!

Tom

*hour after tribal*

Okay so this is shit me and jason are in minority and will most likely get votes split against us.... time to do something about it, in the past merges ive been too ive been in the bottom, and i was taken out this time it wont be happening as much as alex would like it too i will not let it happen! This cast seems to have fairly emotional sympathetic people in this game so imma express how sad i was at the tribal say i was balling my eyes out when ian left and how i feel so down and out and that i am very lost and sad in this game. Because this will make people feel bad for not including me in the plans and also it will create conversation for them to work with me to build my spirits up again and make me happy.

Just thinking about this exposure twist. Kinda cool actually. I'm surprised to say it but I think this might be the type of thing that I like to see??? Who am I. Kinda wish the reward challenge was more of a flash game over a typing game, only because I wanna know how hard the winner worked to get that score. Like for typing you kinda either are already good at it prior or you're shit at it, so I can't tell if Alex put in a bunch of time and effort to win. If it was some weird flash game that had a steep learning curve then I would know better and have a better grip on the game Alex is playing. Regardless, kinda excited about Benj having the curse because I think(?) that we can use that to actually do something crazy? Like I'm thinking a 5 vote blindside tie type situation where Benj throws out a red herring type of vote. We'll see, but I think I need to keep a low profile so who knows if that'll come to fruition.

okay mitch! has! been! elevated! to! king! status!

me and mitch have had a good conversation which I'm super SUPER happy about, he is someone who is in a similar spot to me, so I am SOOO happy we are talking yay. He agrees Alex needs to go soon, like... people are on the same page, maybe its time for it to hap' hap' happen.

since alex won reward, he'll of course save himself, which is fine. it means julia and benj are exposed, and while they're both close allies of mine, they are probably the two who would be in the toughest spot to vote alex, julia since she is like out of nowhere close to him, and benj since he is close to jones.

the plan could be to get alex and co to agree to another split vote or something, which separates numbers that could allow us to strike versus Alex. Maybe if we did like... Alex/Jones/Mo/Caleb on someone, Benj/Julia on another and then Me/Jason/Tom/Jules/Mitch on someone, making a 5-4-2 vote. oh god these merge vote counts have been so so cracked.

we will see. i think my placement this season is going to be like... 8th or something? I am scared of flipping for two votes in a row, BUT I feel like the good news is if I was getting voted out, either Tom or Benj would now hear about it, so I should be able to still play my idol. We will see ahh, but its very scary!

as always with my confessionals:

Bootlist: Alex > Caeleb > Jones > Jason > Mo > Mitch > Julia > Jules > Me/Tom/Benj F3

here is the problem though, I can't vote Jules out. I am such a Jules stan, voting them out would snap my heart it half, I really don't think I could do it. I think I would need others to do it, I'd probably want to be blindsided by it and kept in the dark.

and then the order I would vote people in an FTC:

Jules > Alex > Jason > Mitch > Benj > Julia > Tom > Jones > Caeleb > Mo

Ok so now I’m getting added to a third alliance chat which is supposedly a final 3 alliance. But like here’s the thing, I’d be sitting next to Jones & Alex. I have a snowballs chance in hell of winning against either of them. Everyone loves Jones and Alex has been kinda running this game so far. I’m just kinda his goat. Don’t get me wrong I wanna start making some moves but it’s too early, right now I want to stay unthreatening and low key. I might just have to ride this coat tail to the end because if we have bitter jurors they’ll end up looking at Alex.

So Alex says he didnt read the challenge post... yet came 2nd?

I dont buy it, I fully believe if I ask Benj and others what Alex asked to give him, he will say negatives. He is such a fraud.

also this split vote will be his undoing... his ass is about to be grass... mwahahahahha

-28... negative. 28. negative. twenty. eight. what the FUCK did i do to these people??

I don't even know where to go from here.

...but I mean I kinda do.

I can use this to further push the narrative that I've got no one and hence nowhere near the biggest threat/I'm the easiest target there is and HOPEFULLY people take their eyes off of me.

Aside from that what I WANT to do is vote Alex out (big change from my last confessional, I know). I think I have Tom and Jules on board if I were to pitch it to them, same with Mitch and Ali. I MIGHT have Caeleb but he ran it back to Jones last round so the precedent's already set. So from there to have a five vote majority was I was considering to split the other 6 votes. Julia and Benj are getting their votes exposed so they probably want to vote majority, which I'm anticipating to be someone like myself, Tom, or Caeleb. Ideally, the vote splits one of two ways— NEVERMIND

!! BREAKING !!

Tom says via Ali that Alex thinks that the 9 that split their vote on me and Ian are gonna split their vote again on me and Tom, but Ali isn't on board with that (if he's being honest), and I'd have to assume the same goes for Mitch since there's now a chat with myself him and Tom. So the plan from there (which ties into what I was planning anyway) is to get Jules on board (we called the day after tribal, she SOUNDS like she'd be down), and let the rest of them split their vote.

So that means...

FUCK Alex

FUCK Caeleb

FUCK Julia

FUCK the rest of em bc who??

[but not really it's a game I don't mean it]

But as far as tribal plans right now go... ideally it turns out

5-4-2

5: Me/Tom/Mitch/Ali/Jules for Alex

4-2: Some combination of Alex/Mo/Caeleb/Jones/Julia/Benj for me/Tom

I probably get the 4 again, Tom gets 2... or other way around??? I get the 2 if Mitch/Ali/Jules are meant to vote for me?

But anyways don't be shocked if this is all for nothing and this is my last confessional x

god... negative 28...

i am so frustrated with julia. okay so tom told me apparently on call she said she has a F3 with Alex/Jones, specifically a F2 with Alex. Now... I fully feel like Tom made this up, BUT I asked Julia about the vote and she says she wants to ride out the Space Jam alliance...

is she nuts. is she NUTS kjlasdfas. Literally I feel like WAY too much of this tribe is drinking the Alex Kool-Aid and I can't describe how frustrating it is lowkey. Like I sided with Alex relying on like... Julia's wokeness that we could then detach ourselves, Alex is now FULLY running this tribe and it terrifies me.

It solidifies to me that Alex needs to go this round. Like....this round. He is running this tribe, he has grips on Jones/Mo/Caeleb/Julia, and potentially Benj through Jones. That is SUCH a large amount of this tribe, so I need to stick my neck out. I'm fully embracing that I'm not making FTC at this rate, so it's just time to shake stuff up.

Here is the plan. I am going to play into the split vote plan, we can get Alex and his minions as they shall henceforth be called to split their votes between Jason and Tom, and then maybe Me/Tom/Jules/Mitch/Jason vote out Alex or any of his minions, I don't care which.

At this rate, I'm going to be going into F10 in a potential 5-5 situation, but honestly... Jones/Mo say about a word and a half of game between them each round so they are not workable allies, Julia who flips at literally the drop of a hat is suddenly misted by Alex and Co., Caeleb is just infuriating for telling Jones about the Alex vote, shows he can't be trusted. That leaves only Benj my king, the only woke one, though I am afraid of his connection to Jones.

I just WISH this TRIBE would use their BRAINS. Specifically Julia at the minute.

I’m so TIRED I’ve been so quiet maybe that’s why people are thinking about targeting me :)

Ok ok lemme back up a lil,, this is all according to Alex,, which,,,,,,, idk about YALL but he’s giving off a bit of a paranoid energy right now,, and I’m fully aware of the fact that he has the best chance at winning this game out of anyone here, sooooo maybe let him get eaten by the wolves soon? Not necessarily soon but like,, ya soon. Don’t wanna get him to the end skkdkdkdks. I also think separating myself from Alex might take a target off of MY back, I’ve been trying to separate myself like on my own terms but I think I need to start like,,, setting the stage kind of thing. Idk all I know is that I have a better chance sitting with anyone BUT him,, So maybe it wouldn’t be a bad thing to push Alex into the fire a little bit.

I have yet to hear a name, though I’d like to get Tom out personally? He can slide utr really easily,, plus we can (or at least I can) confirm he doesn’t have an idol, the only question is does Jason have an idol and is willing to play it on the only person he voted with? Who KNOWS!! We just have to make them feel comfy (assuming we have the majority vote that is KSKSKS)

But ya stay tuned laid ease

okay so alex is really trying to play me and its very transparent. now, this could just be tom playing which if so, good for him, his mind and his MIST, but here is the deal.

tom tells me him and alex had a conversation about pairs, where Tom threw out Alex/Jones as a pair, and Alex threw out Julia and I. Then in Alex's retelling of that same conversation, side note its funny that I heard the same conversation from both sides in the space of about 10 minutes, Alex conveniently leaves out that he threw out me and Julia as a pair, and he is SO defensive about him and Jones as a pair.

Jones was on my ass immediately when Caeleb told her Alex could be the vote, and Alex also knew super fast. You are really going to try and convince me that you aren't even close when you have spent 23 days on a tribe together, and from the sounds of things, voted together every single time! im not buying it.

for this vote, i want either alex or an alex minion out, i think mo would be the most do-able. jones is close to caeleb, who we will need as a number, so if alex's idol paranoia is too big, maybe we need to remove mo from the equation? we will see.

mo is my org son, and i love him on calls and such, but I am confused by the game he is playing. I'm potentially super underestimating him, which is a definite possibility, but at the moment.... its like... do something charlie. is he just going to hide behind Jones and Alex, because that's not smart.

i would like to see Alex go this vote, but i think he is already too paranoid (i think tom stoked his paranoia WAY too much). I think Mo could end up being the back up vote, which is probably actually okay, because Alex is a definite shield moving forwards, particularly if still paired with Jones.

Updated Jury Vote Rankings:

Jules > Alex > Jason > Tom > Mitch > Benj > Julia > Jones > Caeleb > Mo

okay I'm like... getting frustrated with Alex. he literally does not know how to be subtle about anything lowkey, like this vote split is literally his 4 OG Durmitors voting 'correctly', leaving all his unsure numbers Me/Jules/Julia/Benj on Jason... like mc'what...

i really want him gone, EVERYONE is drinking the Alex Kool-Aid. Maybe I'm not seeing it, but Jones and Mo particularly are playing SO passively, I fully want to scream.

I need to convince Caeleb to make a move. It's really time to just send Alex, or literally any of his minions out of here. I want to include Julia so badly, but she is so blindly misted by him out of nowhere, I hate it UGH.

I think I want Alex and Mo out as the next two votes, Alex runs the show and Mo is just too passive of a player to be a workable ally. Jones is much more of a threat, but Benj likes her and I want to respect.

I just can't deal with Alex and Co. playing so passively for another round, I'll scream KLASDFA.

Alex aka Gru (because of his minions) unfortunately goes byebye tonight. It took a bit of last minute persuading of Caeleb, but we have GOT THIS ahh.

It looks like its going to be either 6 votes or 5 if Tom self-votes on Alex (Me, Caeleb, Jules, Tom, Jason & Mitch), 3 on Tom (Jones, Mo & Alex) and 2 on Jason (Julia and Benj).

This could definitely backfire, but I don't think I'll go home (famous last words), and if Tom/Jason gets idoled out, next round there is still wiggle room because I still have my KING Benj on the other side. Jones/Mo/Julia are going to be coming for my neck, but I'd rather face the minions than Gru himself NNN,

i might live to regret this if Caeleb turns on me, but I take back everything negative I've EVER said about Caeleb. He is an icon, and so so fun to talk to. I feel like he really trusts me now, so I can't turn on him unless I have to.

New goal final five is Me/Jules/Benj/Tom/Caeleb... and I think its do-able. We get Alex out this vote, then Julia/Mo/Jones/Jason as the next four, followed by Mitch... I'm not sure how exactly, but we will figure it out AHH.

[mollymauk-teafleak]

The Seal Lullaby: Chapter 5

Chapter 5!

This one might feel a little bit shorter than the last because I’ve just started a nine to five job for four weeks so thats soaking up a lot of time. But still, I’m very proud of this chapter, in which the makeshift Hamilton family gets another member. Feedback would be insanely appreciated!

As always, so much thanks to some of the best people on this godforsaken earth @minky-for-short @childofdustandashes @purearcticfire @oversaturated-ocean

And huge, huge thanks to @brainypaperbullets @hollywoodx4 @kilocurican @arya-durin-77

Love you all

Alex sat cross legged on the sofa, his fingers so tightly tangled in his hair there was a definite chance he’d never get them loose. His eyes were fixed on Eliza as she paced back and forth like a caged tiger, anxiety and worry buzzing between the two of them.

“Alex?” Eliza moaned, stopping a minute to lean against the edge of the bookcase, pressing her free hand to the small of her back.

“Yeah?” he straightened up, waiting for instruction, eager for something, anything, to do to help.

“This fucking sucks,” she growled, her face twisting again.

Alex slumped, as lost as ever, as lost as he had been since Eliza had shaken him awake the night before after her first contraction. They must have passed fifty by now, a hundred, the sun was sinking below the horizon again and Alex had no more of an idea what to do now than he did then. Then, when his response to the fact that his wife was in labour had been to catapult to his feet so fast he nearly gave himself a concussion on the doorframe.

“I know, sweetheart,” Alex groaned, worrying the neck of his shirt now with anxious twisting hands, “Y’know I was reading, it’s because humans are bipedal? Like you guys evolved complex brains for thinking and the…the farming and the foraging and all that so that lead to bigger skulls on infants and then cos you walk on two legs that left less space for- “

“Alex?” Eliza grunted, cutting across his rambling, still braced against the bookshelf.

He bit his lip, “I…should shut up, shouldn’t I?”

“Good instincts,” she gasped, relaxing a little as the pain faded for now.

Alex closed his eyes, wishing that his run into the doorway had knocked him out. Maybe he would have been of more use to Eliza.

With all the books he’d been reading, the websites he’d been making pages and pages of notes from, the amount of times Eliza had patiently taken his hand and explained that no, they couldn’t do practise runs to the hospital, that would be a little too weird, how would they explain that to the reception lady? She already thought they were odd enough the amount of times Alex had been to the ER with electrical burns from forgetting that bread stuck in the toaster couldn’t be retrieved with a butter knife and regular burns in some very unusual places from not understanding the obvious dangers of cooking while naked.

With all of that, Alex had expected to feel more prepared for when it actually happened. But it had been nearly twenty-four hours, they’d driven the two hours to the hospital and back after being told that things weren’t ‘progressing’ enough and that Eliza needed to rest at home until it was ‘closer to the time’ and ‘there was no cause for panic just yet’. But now he was watching Eliza catch her breath and curl into a tight, painful ball every ten minutes, he couldn’t help but wonder how close things had to get because this sure felt a lot like panicking.

Alex just wanted to be able to do something. He just wanted some way he could make up for the fact that his Eliza, his beautiful Eliza was in pain and it was all his fault.

He’d held her until the sun came up, it hadn’t stopped her whimpering. He’d rubbed her shoulders but she still had to change positions every five minutes to stay on the bearable side of uncomfortable. He’d brought her ice and tied her hair back and painted her nails and read to her and rocked her but none of it had stopped her pains gradually getting worse to the point where she didn’t want him anywhere near her, apologetically shrinking away from his hands, preferring this restless, solitary pacing.

And all the while, a thought had started to grow in the stem of Alex’s brain, something black and restless that kept plucking at him with fingers like splintered tree branches nudging him. All they had to go on here was songs and stories, the information he’d been collecting like a magpie over the last few months could only take them so far. What if the reality was that he and Eliza just couldn’t work? Biologically, scientifically, physically?

And what if he’d only realised that too late to help her?

As Eliza gave another pained, keening cry, Alex forced himself to mentally smack the pinching, restless hands away. He could freak out as much as he wanted later, right now his mate needed him. He got to his feet, wiping as much of the anxiety and exhaustion from his face as he could manage, coming to stand by her, brushing errant hairs away from her pale face.

“Hey there,” Eliza whispered weakly, once the pain had faded enough to speak.

“Hey,” Alex couldn’t help but chuckle a little, awed by how brave and strong she was, “Come on, why don’t you sit down? Take another shower or something, that seemed to help?”

Eliza shook her head tightly, “Don’t think so. Think I want to keep moving.”

She couldn’t be sure of anything, she was only getting fractured information from her body in sharp, painful bursts, like she was tuned to the wrong radio station and all she had were garbled snatches of songs in languages she couldn’t place. It was sickeningly distressing; the only thing she knew for certain was that she hated it and wanted this to be over. Tears that didn’t just come from her physical pain were leaking from her eyes and dripping off her chin like a raw, endless waterfall.

Where are you? she thought, mournfully, her hands on her stomach

Alex gnawed on his lower lip as his hands kneaded her shoulders unconsciously, the way a cat paws at a soft surface for comfort. And then, in a moment of clarity, he had his first good idea all day.

Eliza tried not to moan piteously as she felt him move away. She knew she must be torturing her poor Alex, wanting him close and then pushing him back without warning, snapping and sobbing for him, moving between the two as errantly as butterfly wings. She knew every sound she made, every time he caught her face tightening and twisting, he felt a pain as deep and sharp as her own, that this had put him in one of his least favourite states- helplessness.

But the truth was that Eliza needed him desperately, no matter what came out of her mouth or what her hands did. If he hadn’t been here, she’d have crumbled a long time ago.

But Alex returned quickly, skittering around in the corner with something she didn’t have the strength to turn her head to see. And then the room was filled with sound, a hesitant scratching and a staticky crunch and then music. Fleetwood Mac. Her favourite.

Alex’s smile was tentative and a little coy when he moved back into her field of vision and offered her his hand, the palm cracked and calloused as it had been the day she first met him. Now Eliza could map the valley of it with her eyes closed.

“May I have this dance?” Alex looked disarmed, his face open and sweet in a way that made Eliza want to cry.

She really, really loved this guy.

“Sure,” she managed a rough smile, taking his hand and resting her head on his chest, letting his wiry frame hold her up too.

He guided her carefully to the middle of the room. There was a steady beat of rain on the window pane, one of the almost playful summer showers that had been bursting in and out of existence over the past few days like they were tied to some switch that kept getting leaned on accidentally. It seemed like the only change the weather ever experienced here was what kind of rain came down.

Not that Eliza was complaining, in the last few weeks she’d grown bigger than she’d thought it possible for a human to get and any kind of warmth had become instantly unbearable. The rain and shade was such a relief, a reminder that the world didn’t actually hate her and want her to suffer. Alex had actually found himself relegated to the couch some nights when Eliza just couldn’t stand to have the heat of another against her own, the baby inside her feeling like a little sun burning away underneath the film of her skin. He’d sworn blind he didn’t mind, he only wanted to help, she’d apologised with guilty tears in her eyes that he’d kissed away with his pillow tucked under his arm. But still, he’d discovered that every night he didn’t have her in his arms was full of nothing but nightmares.

That handful of restless, haunted hours was far behind them now. Alex had her in his arms and now, as he let her rock back and forth on the balls of her feet in vague time with the music, he felt like they were finally doing something. It felt purposeful, like action. And in any case, having her impatient heartbeat pressed against his own counted for a lot right now; it was hard to stay scared and anxious and helpless when he had that constant, steady reminder that she was here and she was real and she was his, every bit as much as he was hers. Far more than he would ever belong to himself. Despite that slight irregularity, the offbeat between the supernaturally faster pace of his heart and the slower, surer beat of Eliza’s, there would come a moment in amongst it all when the motion in and out would come exactly in time with one another. Alex’s mother had told him once, in a common Selkie way of trying to explain to a child how they straddled two very different worlds and truly belonged to neither, that Selkie heartbeats moved in time with the pull between the moon and the sea. But human hearts were attuned to the flickering of the sun, the steady pulse of heat energy through space. That gap could never be breached, it was sewn into the fabric of the universe, scribbled in bold on the chalkboard of patterns and equations that ruled a whole civilisation’s understanding.

But as Alex held his wife and swayed carefully with her to their favourite song, as her body fought its silent battle to bring their child into the world, he swore he felt that passing moment where they’d slip into harmonisation. Wavelengths would align and their hearts would beat in perfect synchrony maybe one time in every thirty. But it was enough.

“It was raining on the day I was born, too,” he murmured softly, caught up in the song of the raindrops and his own thoughts.

“Was it?” Eliza was surprised. Alex had yet to offer anything more than abstract scraps about his life before her and even those she’d had to tease out of his poetry, like pulling mismatched threads out of an old jumper. But this was solid fact, given to her to errantly and her curiosity made her lean in for more.

“Yeah,” Alex had a faraway smile on his face, his hands pressed to the small of her back to try and support her aching spine, “It wasn’t a storm exactly but it was raining pretty hard, enough to make the sea swell. Mama said it came up the walls of the cave, this little cavern tucked away along the shoreline of Puerto Rico. And there was birdsong.”

Eliza’s grip on his arm tightened, not with a contraction this time, but with fondness.

“No birdsong here,” she commented weakly, smiling wanly, her sentences coming in snatches in amongst heavy, laboured breaths, “All the birds are hiding away. If they have any sense.”

“We’ve got the next best thing,” Alex chuckled, bobbing his head in the direction of the record player.

Eliza nodded, “Song is song.”

“Song is song,” he echoed back to her, liking that little phrase.

Certainly, not for the first time in his life, Alex wished his mother was with him again. She’d have known exactly what to do right now, with the worrying fact that the pains were building and strengthening, crowding on top of each other and making Eliza buckle, but nothing was happening. Things just seemed to have stalled.

As much as she wanted to avoid it, Eliza was thrown onto his train of thought as Stevie Nicks’ voice was replaced by an almost acidic, awful scratch and hiss, the record’s end.

In the silence that followed, she whispered, “Something’s not right, isn’t it?”

Knowing what she meant and also knowing that lying to her would be wrong and useless, Alex nodded, “We’re just…missing something.”

It did feel like that, like things couldn’t progress until some last puzzle piece fell into place, some disconnected wires were brought close enough together for there to finally be a spark. As he thought, Eliza groaned and sank lower in his arms yet again, shaking and panting and adding a sting of urgency. Alex bit so hard on his lower lip he could taste blood, rubbing her back and trying to soothe her, straining his ears for the sound of the waves outside, that had always helped to calm him when he was anxious and needed to think…

Ah.

“You trust me, right, baby?” he murmured, cupping Eliza’s pale, sweat worn face in his shaking hands.

Too tired, too exhausted to speak, she just nodded.

“Then let’s get you a blanket…”

-

Eliza did have to remind herself forcefully that yes, she did trust him, when she saw what he was planning.

But as soon as he wrapped her most favourite blanket around her shoulders to help her thin cotton nightdress keep the chill off, the blissfully cooling rain misted on her burning skin and she knelt close enough to the shoreline that there was an oddly soothing, grounding spray of salt against her back, she realised Alex knew exactly what he was doing. Everything clicked into place and deep buried instincts took hold of her, strong enough that she could almost believe she could do this.

There was still pain, of course, an amount so dangerously close to more than Eliza could bear. Her screams and growls must have echoed down the whole beach, permeating the mist like some kind of banshee or twisted version of a siren was haunting the coast. But she was somewhere too far away to notice that she was even screaming, that hours were slipping past like the shifting sand under her hands and knees. All she was aware of was her nerves on fire and Alex’s endless encouragement and the rumbling, regular voice of the sea joining with her husband’s as they both told her that she could do this, she was doing so well, just a little more. At some point Alex started to sing, a song very similar and yet somehow leagues away from the one he sang before. The cadence, the tone, the painfully raw vulnerability of this one told Eliza that this wasn’t a lullaby. It was a love song, one that twisted and roiled and wept and it was all for her. With it, with Alex’s hands and his salt tinged kisses, Eliza managed to stay anchored and focused enough until there was a final rush, a white-hot sunburst behind her eyes and a new voice joined the rest.

Well, not exactly a voice, more of a sound that was on its way to becoming a voice, something stumbling and hesitant and finding its feet. A little snuffling and squeaking that Eliza reached towards with an ache more powerful than anything she’d ever felt before. Alex was sobbing somewhere in the distance, some part of her brain vaguely wondered why, but she was dragged towards this new, warm weight in her arms like her vision, her whole focus in life, was swimming and shifting and resetting to revolve around this new treasure.

“Hello there,” she murmured softly, her voice cracking and snapping with overuse, bringing her baby closer to her face so she could drink in every single detail, “Hey there, little one.”

Warm, amber skin. A damp tangle of dark and full curls, soft and slick like a seal pup’s fur. A gentle heart shaped face, a rosy birthmark on the bridge of a sloping, prominent nose. Full lips upturned in the sweetest smile Eliza had ever seen, no tears or fussing or wailing, just a beautiful, curious smile.

“Oh god, Alex, he’s perfect ,” she broke into sobs, clinging to her newborn son and covering his face with kisses before pulling Alex in towards her and kissing him as hard and as fiercely as her body could manage, hoping that all of the things she felt for him in that moment could come across in their touch because she knew there would never ever be words, on land or sea, for something like this.

From the way Alex wept with raw, almost-too-much-to-carry joy and rested his forehead against her own as his hand joined hers on the top of their son’s head, holding him together, Eliza felt he got the message.

-

One of the things that surprised and scared Alex most about his new life on land was his deepened capacity for emotion.

Wearing his sealskin, living a life governed by tides and moons and seasons, everything had felt dulled. It was as if the leagues of water dampened more than just sound and light; problems were limited to finding enough food, having a place to hide from the rain and the sharp teeth of whatever was bigger than him. The consequences were dire but the emotions attached were simple and raw, basic desires and ingenuous drives that never broke the colour scheme of the world he lived in. Grey, blue, green, fear, need, pain. It had always been so easy to follow.

But here things were so bright, feelings were so deep and sharp to touch, hard to hold and heavy to carry around all the time. He learned so many new words in such a short space of time by feeling them tear through his heart, making him burst out laughing or cry suddenly with no explanation, double over in shock when he was doing nothing more than standing at the kitchen sink, shudder with almost sickening fear whenever he was bolted out of sleep. How humans had walked around feeling this much, this intensely, since the day they were born, it was beyond him.

And love was the fiercest and most staggering burn he’d felt of any of them. So much that he’d felt afraid over these last months, so many times as he’d lain awake caressing Eliza’s swollen stomach in an effort to calm their baby. He worried that with everything he felt for her, his mate, that there just wouldn’t be enough room in his heart to love this little baby too. That when he finally had them in his arms, he’d just…melt. Break. Shatter from the pressure of trying to hold too much heat, like glass under the heel of just the right note or sandstone crumbling to dust. Surely in Alex, who’d been alone and closed off and cold for so long, just so he could survive, it would be too much. Surely there was a limit to how much one heart could hold?

But from the very first second that Alex felt his hands dip under the weight of his son, an unfamiliar sensation and yet his arms moved to support and cradle and hold like they were made for this alone and nothing else, he discovered what it meant to love someone. What he felt for Eliza was more…preordained. Written into his very DNA, she was his mate, he was hers and loving her came as naturally to him as breathing, the paths of their lives were joined and couldn’t be separated. But with his son, he made a choice. In the first second he held him and watched his dark eyes, ringed with light like there was a spark trapped in their deep blue irises, open and fix on the faces of his parents, Alex made a choice. He loved this little baby, he’d do anything and everything under the sun for him, he’d spend the rest of his life making sure he was safe and happy and protected. It was a long time before he could even breathe, the wonder of it was so great.

He’d laugh about it in the following hours as he helped Eliza to her feet, half carried her back to the house and into the shower and then into bed, their son never leaving the safe nest of her arms, steady and sure no matter how much the rest of her trembled with exhaustion. When his wife, his gorgeous, beautiful, powerful, incredible wife- there would never, ever be enough words in either of their languages to describe what he felt for her after watching her deliver their baby but damn it, he was going to try- had finally had to fall asleep, and he’d been left alone with his son, he laughed. He sat in the chair by the window, watching the raindrops run and join and swell and part across the glass, his son gently cheeping and snuffling and gnawing toothlessly on his shoulder in a whole chorus of questioning and gentle noises that made Alex’s heart swell. It was strange, when their little one had been growing inside Eliza he’d seemed like an enormity, she’d seemed to grow bigger than life itself, a vast island. But now he was here, his own entity, he was just so small. Alex could hold him in one palm, if the compulsion hadn’t been to clasp him as tightly as he dared, so light and delicate and precious, making his father think of pieces of sea glass and grass stems and eggshells and bird skulls.

But it wasn’t this odd juxtaposition that made Alex laugh, gently as he could so he didn’t disturb his baby son. Not that he’d cried once since he was born, he seemed just a little too curious about everything around him to cry just yet. No, Alex laughed at the sheer absurdity, how naïve he’d been just a few days ago, to think that he couldn’t love his little son, that there wasn’t room in him to feel it. Alex had learned very quickly, down on the beach in that one second he shifted from just a worried, anxious semi-adult into a father, that humans bodies came equipped with hearts as vast as the ocean he’d spent most of his life in. That the capacity for love held within such unassuming ribs was limitless, a number up there with the amount of stars in the sky, blades of grass on the earth, all the words ever spoken and all that would be spoken across years. A number so big it wasn’t even really a number, it was a concept.

Plenty of room for such a little thing, Alex snorted and chuckled to himself, hitching his son further up his shoulder to a more secure perch. More than enough. They’d discussed names, he and Eliza, who he kept stealing glances over to and being floored every single time by her mere existence, they had a boy’s name chosen and picked out and playfully argued over. Alex had been hesitant to attach it to their little one just yet, to pin it to him while Eliza slept. But it was becoming more and more clear as the moments went by and he avidly drank in every single little movement and snuffle from his son, that no other name was going to fit him quite as well. It was like he’d come out of Eliza wearing it like a badge.

Alex held him gently but securely, as he moved him from his shoulder to his arms so he could see his son’s face, look into his eyes as he murmured,

“I love you, Philip. Your Pops loves you.”

[stormdream]

The Psyche of Phi

1: What’s your OC’s biggest insecurity and how would they react if someone pointed it out to them?

Phi: Her ‘mask’ that fact that she surrounds herself in this upbeat friendly attitude and yet inside she’s still that lonely sad girl that was locked away. If someone DID call her on it, she may either 1] laugh it off and verify the identity she created for herself. OR 2] break down and fall further into herself.

2: If your OC wants to buy a firearm, what it might be for?

Phi: She wouldn’t. She prefers a more up close approach. Let them see her as she cuts someone down. I suppose it may be for someone she couldn’t handle getting close to.

3: Does your OC behave differently around different people, if so with whom and how?

Phi: Of course she does. That is all she does. She is what you need her to be.

4: Would your OC want to involve themselves in humanitarian work ? If yes, then for what? If not, then why not?

Phi: She would never admit it, and sometimes the work may end badly. However, she does want to save people that have a situation similar to her own. Freedom and Choices mean everything to her and she wants others to have that as well.

5: How would your OC generally react to someone being verbally abusive towards them for no apparent reason?

Phi: Depends on what mask she has. Most likely she will either laugh it off and be even sweeter to them [she likes a challenge] or she’d get extremely irate and go off on them. Yet no matter which happens on the outside she’d be awfully upset and self-loathing on the inside.

6: Does your OC have a realistic image of their own intelligence?

Phi: She KNOWS she’s good at so many things. She knows that she’s a smart girl who knows how to read situations fairly well. However, she may be cockier than she should be. Or at least come off that way.

7: Does your OC have any irrational phobias?

Phi: Irrational? NO. they’re completely rational, just no one knows it. [being trapped]

8: How is/was your OC’s relationship with their parents?

Phi: HA. parents... you mean monsters?

9: Does your OC feel a pressure to achieve or are they content and calm with doing what they can at the moment?

Phi: Achieve, she has to prove herself, to well herself. 

10: Does your OC guard their emotions by being tough? If not how would they?

Phi: Yes she does, but not always tough. [Please refer to other answers]

11: How would your OC react to hearing they’re adopted?

Phi: She’d honestly be distraught. That the family who ‘chose’ to adopt her would treat her in such a manner. 

12: What is one of the most primary things your OC feels that is missing from their life?

Phi: A true companion. Someone she is on equal footing with and that will protect her and accept her no matter what. [Applies both Platonic and Romantically]

13: What kind of situations does your OC avoid the most?

Phi: One that would force her to drop the mask.

14: If your OC gets into a fight with their best friend, would they wait for their friend to make up with them, or would they try to make up with their friend?

Phi: Both, I mean it depends on the friend and the fight.

15: Does your OC consider themselves a good person?

Phi: No. She doesn’t.

16: Is your OC good at giving others validation of their feelings and making them feel understood?

Phi: Yes, she is. She prides herself on her understanding

17: Does your OC suffer from any mental health issues?

Phi: ......oh if only that weren’t the case.

18: What kind of intrapersonal values does your OC have? (values about their self, what makes them feel like a valid person)

Phi: none? She doesn’t feel she’s a valid person most of the time. 

19: What boosts your OC’s confidence the most?

Phi: Being right, and people loving her mask, and feeling as if she has fooled them all.

20: Does your OC hurt others often unintentionally? If yes, how?

Phi: She probably does, she doesn’t always say things the right way, not to mention her ever changing mask will most likely confuse and hurt people who feel they know her well.

21: Does your OC hurt others often intentionally? If yes, how?

Phi: Often? No. She does do it. It’s so easy sometimes and she does it to protect herself.

22: How does your OC usually show affection? Are they openly romantic or more restricted with their affectionate emotions?

Phi: True Affection? Rarely, very rarely. Showy Affection? Yes, often. So much so she may seem loose. 

23: Does your OC tend to hide something about their personality/essence when meeting new people? If yes, what?

Phi: Yes. Please refer to above posts. 

24: How would your OC react if they got humiliated by someone in a group of people?

Phi: Laugh it off, possibly. Most likely.

25: How would your OC process the grief caused by the death of a loved one?

Phi: If it was Benny, horribly. Thats the only person she considers as a loved one. She’d be devastated. Suicide would be a high possibility to be honest.

26: What is the most intense thing your OC has been battling with?

Phi: Her own self-hatred. The fact that she’s torn between wanting to be who she needs to be and hating what that caused her to go through.

27: Does your OC practise any kind of escapism? If yes, what kind?

Phi: Her very being is escapism at it’s finest.

28: How would your OC react if a bully stole their lunch money in high school?

Phi: In another world? She’s probably mock the bully but then end up giving her lunch to them regardless, saying the must have needed it more.

29: How does your OC behave on the face of a conflict?

Phi: Serious conflict? She’s be surprisingly level headed. Anything other than that highly serious conflict, she’d do what she does best. Play around.

30: What makes your OC defensive quickest?

Phi: Her past, her scars, herself.

@subterraneanterror and @kyrusthewaker

[winterrsun]

Avengers x Supernatural crossover

Summary: A Supernatural AU where the famine horseman hits the Avengers’ area and they all subsequently go nuts- lust and hunger and all kinds of crazy. take over the tower. 

A/N: Ok this got really smutty wow whoops, this is the most insane thing I’ve ever written and its quite possibly a hot mess...but thats kinda the point when the entire team loses their inhibitions? It’s my first attempt at a crossover, also the first fic I’ve written in third person and without the reader as a character and ALSO my first time writing Stony AND winter widow.

Warnings: SMUT, alcohol, unprotected sex, public sexual activity/basically an orgy, over eating and drinking?? 

If you aren’t familiar with Supernatural and have no idea what I’m talking about see the explanation below :) - its essentially based on this scene https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qaYnz8HR6yY

Supernatural explanation: The apocalypse hits and it brings four horseman with it; war, pestilence, famine and death. When the famine horseman arrives he makes basically everyone in town go crazy for whatever it is they crave; whether that be a certain food, food in general, sex, alcohol, (in Sam’s case, demon blood) etc.. and basically they have no will power against it and aggressively indulge themselves to death. I’ve decided the Avengers wouldn’t get QUITE so effected by it but they still can’t resist it fully. 

Its a dull day, following a stubborn clump of dull days that has formed a dull week or so in the tower. Its not like the Avengers at all to have such a long quiet period, to have so much time on their hands and so little to do. They’ve trained, sparred, practised shooting, firing and using every weapon they have, they’ve cleaned and tidied, gotten drunk, even did a day of touristy sight seeing as well as cleaned out all their Netflix watch lists. And still the days are dragging on. 

Nat’s decided to take up baking after Wanda offered to teach her cook, so now she stands behind the kitchen bench wearing an apron and furiously mixing.  Drops of cake batter spatter something every now and then, while Wanda sits at a stool on the other side of the counter, sifting through a magazine and affectionately rolling her eyes at her teammate. A continuous tapping noise rings throughout the room as Sam, Steve and Clint toss a small ball between them while Bucky watches, having grown bored of the mundane game quickly. Tony and Bruce are upstairs occupying themselves with something in the lab, and otherwise the tower is a ghost town, with Vision and Rhodey away at the UN on official business. 

“Nat I think your batter’s good now!” Bucky says, wiping some off the side of his face. 

She sticks her tongue out at him and laughs, but proceeds to tip the bowl into a cake pan and place it in the oven. 

“And how long is that gonna take again Wanda?” she asks. 

“About 40 minutes” the Scarlett Witch replies without looking up from her magazine. 

Nat nods before strolling over to the couch and plonking herself down.

“And now what then?” she sighs. 

“Come on lets finish the last of that Twilight movie series” Bucky offers, sitting down next to her.

“We really have hit a new low,” she mumbles, turning on the TV. 

20 minutes into Breaking Dawn part 2, Tony strolls into the room. 

“Guys! I’ve got uh, good news and bad news.” They all stop to focus on him, as the Iron Man continues. 

“Well, we aren’t going to be bored anymore. There’s something coming and its something big. So big I kind of wish we had more help but I think its gonna have to just be us.” He pauses, gazing around at his fellow teammates and feeling a sense of pride and confidence in their abilities, before taking a deep breath.

“Any of you familiar with the four horsemen?” he asks.

Most of the gang nod and murmur that they are familiar with the concept but not much else. 

“It’s like...a biblical thing right?” asks Bucky.

Tony nods, Bruce now behind him. “Yeah, they’re associated with the apocalypse traditionally. But um, well apparently they’re as real as Thor and Loki, and one of them has to decided to pop in and say hi and fuck shit up” Tony says. 

Steve sighs before asking “do we even want to know which one?”

“Well,” Tony replies, “debatably, one that is the least dangerous. It’s famine”

“As in, we’re all gonna starve to death?” asks Wanda, wide eyed. 

“I’d say its more complicated than that, kiddo” chuckles Clint. 

“They aren’t certain what the full impact is gonna be, just that he will have an effect over everyone, at a pretty decent distance but we don’t know the exact radius. I don’t even really know how we can prepare for this to be honest..” Tony trailed off, throwing his hands in the air. 

“So when does it hit?” asks Nat. 

Tony raises his eyebrows and shrugs, prompting a “great” from Nat. 

“Who did you get all this information from?” Steve inquires.

“Fury. He called me.” Ton replies, a bit on the defensive. 

Steve remains silent but glares at Tony for a bit. He likes to be the leader of the group; he’s the captain for gods sake. And he’s far more responsible than Tony.

“Alright boys put your testosterone away, we need all our strength and teamwork to combat this it sounds like” Wanda placates. 

Tony raises an eyebrow at her, then glances back at Steve before turning away. 

The team all head off to their own rooms and apartments to get changed and grab whatever they think might help, though of course everyone’s feeling uncertain and frankly a little worried. 

By the time they meet in the conference room to await any news or disturbance, Sam, Clint, Nat and Tony have started feeling a little weird.

He’s eaten lunch only about an hour ago but Sam’s suddenly feeling very peckish. He licks his lip and chews down on the bottom one, trying to occupy his mind with something else.

“So uh, what do you think this is gonna be like?” he asks Clint, who is agitatedly tapping his fingers on the desk.

“What?” Clint snaps, looking at Sam before instantly softening his expression. “Sorry man. I..I don’t know. I’m feeling really edgy about it though.” 

Clint looks over to his best friend and frowns at how rigidly she’s sitting, but gets distracted immediately as another wave of it washes over him; the craving for alcohol. 

Wanda’s getting her magic fired up, making a chair levitate in front of her before dropping it to the ground and raising it up again, when Steve addresses her.

“I’ve been thinking, you might be the best one to diffuse this situation quickly Wanda. I think your ability to manipulate the mind is going to be a real advantage.”

“Actually Cap we don’t know whats doing to be an advantage here, that’s kind of the point”. Tony snaps.

Bucky raises his eyebrows and smirks at Wanda and Bruce; the only other two in the room paying attention. 

“I’m aware of that, Tony” Steve says through gritted teeth. “I’m just being logical and trying to deal with this the best way. Just because we don’t know much about this enemy doesn’t mean I don't know what I’m doing as a captain.” 

Tony rolls his eyes and tries to ignore the blood he can practically feel and hear rushing through him, clenching his fists.

After laughing at their stupid friends, Bruce and Wanda start to feel it too. Something intense and just...off. Then it grows and Wanda remembers the cake they left in the oven..it should be nearly done now. Bruce shifts uncomfortably and assures himself of his amazingly developed self control, though beginning to wonder if he should have removed himself from such an unstable situation. 

Not longer after it hits Bucky and Steve too. The two super soldiers almost mirror each other as they beginning fidgeting in their positions and become vaguely aware that their blood is also rushing, and that it seems to be rushing to one particular, downstairs spot. 

The entire room sits uncomfortably, now having internal battles. They’re somewhat aware that they are all in this predicament, that each of them is experiencing it, but only because they’re all so skilled and highly trained to monitor the environment. Suddenly, Clint snaps to his senses if only for a moment. 

He clears his throat; “guys, I think its hit...the famine effect.”

His teammates gaze at him blankly.

“Is anyone else” he continues, “um...craving anything?” 

Realisation hits them as hard as the famine did. The problem is, he must be getting closer because the feelings are getting stronger and stronger. 

Tony, not even really knowing what he's doing and definitely not able to control himself, starts to palm himself through his pants. Everyones wrapped up in their own thing but Steve notices him, feeling anger and disgust at his audacity to do that in front of everyone, ignoring the fact that he feels something else too. Because actually, its kind of hot. And he was going to yell at Tony and tell him to stop, but now he thinks maybe he’ll watch a bit longer. 

Steve licks his lips slowly as Tony closes his eyes and tries to resist the urge, thats getting stronger and stronger, to just stick his hand right into his pants. 

Suddenly Sam jumps up and strides quickly from the room. The gang are all sort of snapped out their dazes from this and they follow him into the kitchen to the sound of the fridge door slamming open and watch him help himself animatedly. They’re transfixed for a moment before becoming overwhelmed with their own feelings again. Wanda rushes past him to the oven, forgetting to grab a glove and yelping as her finger makes contact with the scalding hot metal of the cake pan. No matter for the witch, she levitates the cake out of the hot tray and begins devouring it.

Nat, who had been biting her lip and clamping her legs shut ferociously, suddenly yells “Screw it!” and grips the back of Bucky’s neck pulling his lips to hers hungrily. He instantly complies and slams her body back against the wall. 

“Wow right, okay then!” Clint exclaims at the pair, before striding over to the bar and helping himself to a 20 year old scotch, drinking straight from the bottle.

“I gotta get out of here” Bruce says to no one in particular. He rushes outside, not knowing how to handle his potential hulk out while he’s in this state, the only one to crave nothing in particular, not being able to identify this overwhelming feeling of desire, just knowing that he’s losing control. 

Steve noticed his best friend, who is now grinding against Natasha, trying to relieve his tension and is painfully reminded of his own. He hears a soft moan and is shocked to see Tony, hand in his pants stroking himself, watching the Captain. They make eye contact and Tony’s eyes widen, but he doesn’t stop. 

Steve walks over to him slowly, like its the hardest thing he's ever done, but at this point he doesn’t have a choice. 

“Take your hand out of your god dam pants” he orders in a low voice, and Tony slowly complies, eyes glued to Steve’s blue ones. 

Steve then thrusts his own hand inside his teammate’s pants, doing something he’s tried to suppress the fantasy of- the fantasy that sneaks into his head late at night when he can’t sleep- for god knows how long, grabbing his frenemies cock firmly. 

“Oh GOD Cap!” Tony is on the verge on losing control completely and thrusts into Steve’s hand. 

Steve begins rapidly stroking him and groans, disoriented and single-mindedly focused on this innate task; “Fuck Tony..I don’t know what I’m doing I-” he trails off. He succumbs to his urge further, leans over and attaches his lips to Tony’s neck, making the latter gasp loudly.

“We should’ve known–ah” Tony interrupts himself with a moan, “this would be the best way to handle all that tension between us.” 

Steve raises his head to give him a ‘shut up’ kind of look, before grabbing either side of Tony’s face and bringing his lips to his own, kissing his teammate’s smart-ass mouth aggressively. 

Everyone else in the room either doesn’t notice or doesn’t care what the rest are up to,  so engrossed in their own current actions. Wanda’s stomach has begun screaming as she is already three quarters through the fresh vanilla sponge Nat has completely forgotten about, having been so excited to produce it less than an hour ago. Sam, on the other hand, isn’t slowing down any time soon. He wraps an entire block of cheese up in salami and munches contentedly, though far from fulfilment and satisfaction. 

Clint has begun hicupping, with all instincts telling him to STOP drinking he now stands still, fighting against himself, the bottle frozen halfway to his mouth. He knows they need to snap out of it but dam it they can’t, he’s thinking of his wife and kids as he tries with all his might to put the bottle down while also trying to suppress the equally disruptive thoughts in his mind saying ‘nobody else is fighting it..you aren’t stronger than them...give in to it’. 

A loud, female moan echoes throughout the floor. Bucky and Nat had enough of their wits about them to make it around the corner into the somewhat privacy of the hallway before ripping away each others clothing. Bucky had hooked his metal arm underneath Nat’s legs as she jumped up onto him, pushing her against the wall and thrusting straight into her, bringing them back to now. 

Bucky pounds into the girl he has always been attracted to but had never felt enough desire to act upon, now wanting nothing more than to ravish her over and over as she writhes in his hands. He feels her wet slick folds envelop him with every thrust and groans into the crook of her neck.

For once, Nat happily lets her male colleague take charge as she succumbs to pleasure and the feeling of receiving something she craves so, so badly. The Winter Soldier is merciless as he drives into her, filling her wonderfully and sending her senses into overdrive. She has never felt so blissfully overwhelmed. Her stomach tightens and her pleasure builds and she whimpers, managing to stutter “Bucky..fuck i, I’m gonna come” before it crashes through her.

She shudders and shakes turning to putty, thankfully still fully supported by Bucky who if anything pounds into her harder after that encouraging display. Exhausted but still wanting more she happily complies, wrapping her hands around his neck when she gathers the energy and beginning to bob up and down, riding his cock the best she can, eliciting a deep moan from Bucky. 

Meanwhile, Steve continues to jerk Tony off, now craving his own release as well. 

“If this doesn’t stop soon, you know I’m going to have to take you into the conference room and fuck you” Steve murmurs into his ear, Tony bites his lip at the notion.

“Whatever you think is best, Cap” he responds lethargically. 

Steve nods and yanks his hand back and grips Tony by the wrist, marching out of the room. 

Wanda, having nearly demolished the cake, gazes around realising the indescribably strong feeling of desire is still there, but it has changed. Her hunger quelled she now feels...lust? She definitely desires something other than food. But maybe she can fight it. She swallows the last mouthful of cake and grips the bench determinedly, trying to clear her mind. 

“Fuck it” she murmurs and strides over to a positively drunk Clint. She places her palms either side of his face and kisses him square on the mouth. 

Clint lurches backwards, stumbling in his intoxicated state. “Kiddo-WHOA slow down there wha-what are you doing! God I need another drink.” 

His whisky soaked breath is off-putting, washing over her face, yet the unsatisfied craving in her remains, though she knows how much of a mistake her action was. She turns away and frustratedly bites down on her finger, willing the feelings to subside. 

Sam is less than four feet away from them but he hasnt even noticed the interaction, his face being stuck in the fridge that is rapidly being drained of its contents. 

In the hallway, Bucky and Nat are still going at it after he’s come inside her, his ejaculate dripping down her legs as they continue to desperately thrust at an unrelenting pace. She bites down on his neck hard enough to break the skin and tiny droplets of blood appear from the wound. 

Steve slams the conference room door shut and pushes Tony backwards until his legs hit the desk. Without hesitation he spins him around and bends him over.

“You sure you can handle this Stark?” he asks, with no intention of stopping now.

“Just fuck me already Rogers” Tony replies, hastening to undo his belt. 

Somewhere near the Avengers compound, the officials working with famine receive information that Fury and his team are aware of their presence and working against them. As suddenly as they had arrived, famine and his accomplices depart the area.

Its fast and intense, like waking up from one of those dreams where you’ve fallen from a height and your heart jumps. Feeling like they had all been dowsed in cold water to sober them up, the Avengers come to their senses.

Steve’s holding his proud American cock in his hand, had he really been about to put it in Tony? Tony. Who has stood up as fast as if he'd sat on a pin and yanked his pants back up. The men both awkwardly clear their throats, looking anywhere but at each other. Steve sort of half nods before pivoting on his heel and striding determinedly back into the main rooms. Tony rubs his hand across his jaw, shaking his head. 

Their discomfort holds nothing, however, to their teammates. Nat finds herself suspended in the air, Bucky’s metal arm hooked under her knees while his chest presses her against the wall. He’s still hard, and still inside her. Wet, sticky and very messy, their eyes widen as they stare at each other, faces an inch apart. Clumsily, quickly they separate and he puts her back on the ground. They attempt to redress with nothing really to clean up with. 

“Sooo we just...” Bucky starts.

“Yup,” replies Nat, “famine huh?” 

Bucky clenches his teeth and nods, however the two manage to not feel too ashamed given the extremity of the situation. Nat tends to make everything easier and they both have to admit, they’ve always had chemistry.  

“Come on” Bucky laughs, “I guess we gotta all go and...debrief?” he lazily throws an arm over her shoulder and they walk together. 

The first thing Sam notices is that he has never been so full in his life. Not when he went to three thanksgiving dinners in one day, not when he got back from Afghanistan and hit the Taco Bell, McDonalds and KFC drive thru’s all in a row, never. He groans and clutches his stomach, thinking to himself how famine did a number on him, being completely oblivious to what the rest of his team went through.

Wanda is mortified. She tried to kiss Clint. She did kiss him. After scoffing an entire cake. Actually, mortified doesn’t really begin to describe it. She glances at Clint but he's running to the sink to vomit. Guiltily she can’t help but be relieved; hopefully he will have been too drunk to remember. 

Steve, Nat and Bucky come back into the room looking sheepish, followed by Tony. The air is thick with tension until Sam breaks it.

“So guys, that was some experience huh? But... I ate everything in the fridge, how was everyone else dealing with their cravings?”