#when the disability kicks in

[is-this-yuri]

just got kicked out of the best panhandling spot i've ever had by the mcdonalds management due to a customer complaint. all i got today so far is one dollar.

a dozen people are kind and generous to me every day, and it takes just one asshole to ruin the whole thing.

i'm so tired of moving around and avoiding the wave of stigma and hatred against homeless people. i'm just trying to survive out here, man. cops and other homeless people drove me out of the previous spot, and now i don't know where i'm gonna go.

i'm gonna have to spend the day driving around and finding a new spot to sleep and get my cash, but first i need some gas. the prices went up 10 cents recently too.

i'm sorry to ask again, but if you want to support me through this and are able to, please consider donating to my ko-fi. i would greatly appreciate it as it's all i have for today and until i find another option.

[snapcracklepop-myjoints]

I've been seeing this a lot lately, but a little while ago I mentioned something to do with disability in a discord and someone asked me if I was a "spoonie". Not if I was disabled, but a spoonie. I need y’all to fucking get it into ur heads that disabled is not a dirty word. You can use the term spoonie for yourself all you want, but the second you start imposing it on other people and generally using it in place of the word "disabled", its just another woo-woo euphemism that seeks to soften and make comfortable the vocabulary and concept of disability.

Like at a certain point it becomes clear that a lot of people now are using “spoonie” in the same damn way as “differently abled” or "handicapable". The origin and intent of the term become moot within that usage because what it serves to do is invoke disability euphemistically, obfuscating and softening it in service of compulsory normative able-bodymindedness.

If you want to use that term for yourself, fine. Have fun. It doesn't have these same connotations when its used as a self identifier rather than as a replacement for the word "disabled". But stop applying it to others in place of "disabled" I’m so fucking serious.

[puppyeared]

adhd is when you shoot for the moon but you forgot the rocket fuel and by the time you realize it everyones already on the moon and then you panic and crash into the sun and it explodes

[cherry-pop-elf]

Cuddle Party

George figured a new couch was in order, given the last one kinda uh. Exploded. Might as well help him break it in!

I blame @george-weasleys-girl for this. It literally all stemmed for this pic

Warnings: Heavy petting. ((Yeah it seems like a vanilla warning, but hey sometimes you aren’t in the right headspace for sexual content. Even if there isn’t sex. You valid sweetie!)) lots of fluff, and some wholesome “teaching your kid about deafness”

Writing coms open

“See? As if nothing had ever happened!” That nothing being your son, Fred the second, inherited someone’s pyrotechnic passion. Wasn’t Freddy’s fault. He wasn’t even old enough for a wand yet, but he was showing brilliant magic. Even so young. You two made sure he understood it was an accident, but also used it as a good learning lesson that when accidents happen you do your best to fix them. Gentle parenting was what helped Freddy best, and like hell you would ever yell at him for such an accident.

“You wanted an excuse for this, didn’t you?” You would tease, as you leaned over the massive thing. Was pretty much a alaskan king, with many purple cushions to accent the orange material. It was loud, and that was how you liked it. It was also perfect for when family was over. Just move the furniture around, and the couch was suddenly much longer with many seats. You did like that. This would make having company over far easier. You really did like it.

"MAYBE~" He cackled, before he jumped onto the thing. A graceful flop he went, with so much space to move around. That had you rolling your eyes, but you were smiling. Your husband. Such a adorable man, and that made you so happy. Kept you feeling young, even with so much happening. With that being said, it also meant you had a streak of mischeif all the same. Before your husband knew it, you jump right on him. Making him wheeze, before laughing.

"NO FAIR! IM DEAF I COULDNT HEAR YOU COMING!" He, playfully, argued. Along with took advantage of your laughter to pin you down. Made you laugh more, as you would fight back. Your wrists pinned, and sock feet flailing, as your were attacked with kisses. Left you squealing, as he made sure to attack your sweet spots. Leaving no mercy, as the two of you broke in the new furniture.

“You are a menace to society, just my type~” He growled, as he gave you a kiss. Then another, and another, and before either of knew it. It was more than just kissing. You two were just engulfed by each other. Utterly addicted to each other’s flavors and scents. The fresh ash, and sweet pastries.

Suppose you two were breaking in the new couch, that’s for sure. As if either of you could complain. That is, until your passionate moment was interrupted by someone jumping onto George’s back. Made him wheeze, before tumbling across the furniture. Leaving you to have someone fall on your stomach.

“ITS LIKE A BIG BED-!” Junior shouted, before he crawled off of you. Quick to stand up, and jump on it. Meanwhile, you two needed a moment to breathe again. You caught your breath far quicker than George did. Since he was full on WWE-ed.

“Dad! DAD-!” Junior shouted, but George was busy with a bruised back. Not to mention his good ear was forced into the cushion, so he didn’t hear Freddy at all. You used that to your advantage, and soon scooped Freddy up.

“Remember, Daddy doesn’t hear to well. Right?” A nice learning moment. With Freddy in your lap, as you sat crossed legged. “Yeah yeah-! He hears only half the stuff we do-!” Junior would agree, and made the sign for ‘silent’ on his left ear. Just like where George’s was missing.

“That’s a good job-! Oh you did so well, you remembered!” You praised, making your son beam. Learning languages sure comes naturally, when half your family’s speaks more than one language. Romanian, Mandarían, French, Arabic, Latin, and throw in some British Sign Language.

“And you remember what we said about yelling?” You asked, as he nodded. “Not everyone likes it! So you gotta ask em first. Cause yelling is scary sometimes. Like when grandma Molly yells. She yells loud!” Junior said, making an explosion motion with his hands.

“Oh she got lungs alright-“ George huffed, as he caught himself again. Once he was steady, Junior was quick to camper over to George. Yanked into the older man’s arms, and held high in the air. Then, he collapsed on the couch. With Junior plopping on his chest. You were quick to snuggle your husbands side, as Junior sat on his chest. Having to much energy.

“Your kid-“ You tease, before kissing your husbands cheek. That made Junior stick his tongue out, and George mimicked him. Having a silly face off. That made you laugh, as you enjoyed the cuddle session with your family.

Eh, that old couch had been here since you three had got the permit for the place. Some things needed to be replaced. But memories like this? Never. You wanted to simply keep creating, and keeping, more and more. Forever, and ever.

[lizzydizzyyo]

I think what's really compelling about House's absolute unwillingness to bow down to anything or anyone (the ethical board, the law, extra rich CEO, vindictive police officer, and even the patients themselves) regardless of how absolutely batshit and downright illegal his actions are, is because it's coming from a chronically disabled person, in more ways than one.

He cannot walk without agony or his cane. His chronic and severe pain led him down the path of deep Vicodin addiction until he also becomes psychologically dependent on it too (once, Dr Cuddy gives him saline placebo and it "works", in that he is not feeling his leg pain anymore for a few hours).

He understands it deeply just how desperate people can be when they're in pain and nobody can (or are willing to) help them—at least, so far, until they land on his doorstep. Which is canonically the most extreme step patients take when everything else fails—you don't just go straight to Plainsborough Teaching Hospital and to Dr Gregory House MD's office; you have to go through dozens of other doctors in various specialties and failed treatments too.

(Although that's a separate discussion about how doctors, particularly resident ones, are overworked and underpaid and redtaped by shithead insurance companies even if they do know how to treat a patient and want to).

He knows, from the bottom of his heart, that having such a painful and life-limitting debilitating condition is comparable to hell on earth, because he has one. He knows, that despite his disability being visible to everyone, yet no one wants to put an effort to help him deal with it—is also hell on earth.

Cuddy simply throws money at him and turns the other way to his Vicodin abuse, like she is saying, "I don't care if he takes 10 Vicodin pills a day or more, and I have to pay at least $1M every year for lawsuits, as long as he gets the job done," (and when they decide to go into relationship, she immediately drops him when he relapses, even if the reason for his relapse is her—although, yes, there is another discussion to be had about keeping yourself and your child(ren) safe being a priority compared to helping an addict, recovering or not). Wilson, as loyal as he is to House, simply either enables him or lectures him without going into the root of the issue and thoroughly help House that way. His subordinates, especially after the original trio, are simply too scared, too ignorant, or too ambitious to even approach the issue and choose to keep their job than help House (also another discussion to be had about how you can't help people who don't want to help themselves and so on).

So when he sees a patient who has gone through hell trying to get a correct diagnosis and treatment, he becomes laser-focused on doing everything under the sun to get to the bottom of it and cure the patient. He doesn't care if he has to break into countless of houses (haha pun) and collect insane and probably biohazard samples to do it—he absolutely will, no question.

Yes, hate-criming and being a bigot is his favorite hobby (still livid at the asexual ep and the production's choice for the resolution, let's just say I still have beef with Hugh Laurie and the entire production team for it), and so is insulting patients in so many ways that Shakespeare would personally fly to New Jersey and shake his hands if someone manage to successfully perform necromancy on ol' Billy boy. But House is no one if not dedicated. "Yes, my patient is an idiot, everyone is an idiot too, but I WILL cure their condition like my life depends on it," is basically his middle name.

Besides, you can make the argument that he is more compassionate than all the other doctors around him, because despite his absolute disdain towards some of his patients' beliefs and stupidity, he still works his ass off to treat them. He will call your god an idiot in 7 different languages while putting you in a diagnostic machine he manipulated the whole hospital into letting him use so that you could get a test which weren't available to you before. He will tell you that your currently-happy marriage will end in a bloody divorce and your ex will leave you penniless so love is not real while injecting you with a medication he had to hack the CDC's database for.

There are even episodes that show him being truly earnest, like the clinic duty scene where he is snarky as usual to a girl who seemingly stupidly had unprotected sex until she lashes out, and House is like, "Oh shit, this is above my paygrade", and immediately goes to Cuddy with a very serious expression and no sarcastic dilly-daliying, demanding her to transfer the patient to someone else because he is not good with "curing" rape case (interesting choice on the writers' part to make the patient insist to have therapy with House, though).

There is an episode about a very workaholic woman executive in a fashion company who has tremor and partial paralysis, and later on it's shown that she seems to tie her worth as a person to her corporate success while band-aiding her deep psychological issue like her suicidal ideation, and House genuinely asks her, "Do you want to live? I cannot help you unless you want me to," or something along the line.

There is also the cursed 9-year-old terminal brain cancer episode where Chase kissed the patient (ew), where at first it shows House being a usual misanthophe to Wilson and saying, "She is not brave, it's the brain tumor clot talking because it must be near the amygdala." Later in the episode, House sits near the patient alone, and compassionately asks her if she even wants to live, going through the rest of her short-lived but horrible agony, even if they catch the clot. The surgery to find and get rid of the clot is risky and can debilitate her even more, and this is why House is laying the decision to her hands. That she gets to choose. This is what truly reveals to him that she is genuinely brave (aside from the scan showing the clot to be so far away from her amygdala), but for the wrong reason. She is brave for her mom, willing to go through horrible surgery and drag out her already painful cancer-ridden life because, "My mom needs me". When everyone is congratulating her in the end, you can tell House has a bittersweet expression of both awe towards her bravery, and sadness that this 9-year-old sick girl has to bear the brunt of her horrible pain just so that her mother is not sad. That he couldn't convince her to be a child until the nearing end of her life.

The most interesting evidence of his compassion to me is the gunman hostage episode. It might sound weird because in the whole episode, he is depicted to first want to outsmart the gunman patient, then becomes laser-focused but only because he sees it as a puzzle, then absolutely selfish and dangerous because he volunteers himself as the last hostage and gives the gun back to the guy after the MRI. I do think it's true that his dedication to solving patients-are-just-puzzle-to-me conditions shines through in the episode, especially the scene of him returning his gun, but there is something else I catch when I rewatched it before.

When the gunman patient is put in the MRI because Cameron tells him a theory through the hostage call, the remaining doctors in the room including House are wary at the gunman but also hopeful. Yet, when the result shows up on the screen, he realizes that the theory is wrong and the guy let go his only bargaining chip for nothing. If you watch this part carefully, you'll notice that House actually looks pitying and sad at the gunman's disappointed demeanor and expression. He realizes he is going to be another notch in the guy's failed doctors list, and at this point (with the gun given away and even the best, most talented doctor also not finding out what's wrong with him), the guy has given up hope that he will ever see the day he will be cured, certainly not behind the bars.

Yes, his thirst for puzzle is House's big driving force in giving back the gun, but you'll be lying to yourself if you don't notice House's compassion for the guy because he doesn't want the guy to go out empty-handed, with absolutely no more hope because House knows once they step out of the door, this guy will never, ever be allowed to be in the vicinity of any hospital or doctor ever again in his life, aside from jail's bare-minimum exams and medications. House can't handle the thought of putting someone else through his own disappointment—that nothing works to help his leg pain. He especially doesn't want to be the cause for this gunman guy's case either. Even in the end when House realizes the guy is a fucking moron because he doesn't know that Florida is, in fact, in earthwide-horizontal tropical zone and this is what stumps most of the guy's previous doctors—House still gives him a subtle salute to the guy while being handcuffed and led away, almost to say, "Enjoy your healing and the defeat of your arch nemesis The Sickness™, glad to be part of it."

Majority of his drive to stop at nothing until his patient is cured is definitely thanks to his own fucked-up leg, even if there are some dialogues with Cuddy and Stacy Warner (House's ex wife) that seem to imply he has always been a misanthrophe whose hobby is getting into malpractice (or general) lawsuits. I wholeheartedly believe that after his leg clot rendered him disabled and with chronic pain, he became much more dedicated and obsessed with getting to the bottom of a patient's medical information, even for info that seems innocuous or irrelevant that always turn out to be important (probably more like a plot armor than established characterization, to be honest), almost like this is his method of relating to the patients in his own weirdly human way, and maybe a little bit (actually, a lot) of projecting.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

[uncanny-tranny]

Whatever skills or knowledge you think is "universal" absolutely isn't, and when you understand this, you can understand deeper how people experience the world. There are so many things that are deemed "common knowledge" that just aren't to some people.

Maybe you think it's common knowledge to know how to eat, for example. But it isn't common knowledge for me; I don't know how to eat because of my disabilities and because of my history. I can physically eat, yes, but the knowledge of how and when is something I never learned. I can absolutely learn, sure, but it is a time and energy investment, which is why I hadn't done so before.

What would help me more: being belittled and demeaned because I don't "know" something like a normal person would or being educated in an understanding way? Now, apply this to other people who struggle with things you think are "fool-proof," and you will start to understand how people operate when they aren't "normal"

[brionnne]

note that i will only ever call mithrun "stupid" jokingly. by "stupid", i only mean "frustrating behavior that i am immensely familar with". seeing him do something that makes me groan aloud, closing my eyes, sighing "stupid (affectionate, mournful)". like when he fucking... his dumbass "i don't want to [use the bathroom] right now, so it's fine." oughh. i know you! i know you! that's not how that works!!! and he's smart!!! he's so smart... but god, god... he's kind of an absent professor. he's kind of a cloudcuckoolander. i love him dearly. he gets called a dummy, a little idiot, and i flick his forehead, a little bonk of hard-heads, like "try again, idiot. that's not how bodies work." and "ooh, 'that's not going to work'. yes it is. shut up, stoopid. stubborn little man, my god." rolling my eyes forever.

[roguemonsterfucker]

Sorry to talk about it again but I'm just still flabbergasted by the whole plagiarism thing

Like... When watching hbomb's video the first time and seeing him point out the rewording of stuff to change it *just* enough to (hopefully) not get caught stealing... I flashed back to my college days of when I did exactly that. 😅

There was a limit on how many actual quotes I could use, so I got around that by literally looking at my sources and rewording it enough to get past the plagiarism checker (TurnItIn.com my belothed) without losing the meaning of the text that I honestly didn't fully understand because I was writing on topics I had no real knowledge of myself.

BUT BUT BUT

I still cited my fucking sources.

Yes, I was using other people's words so I could get through the hell that was college, but if you read my stuff, you'd know exactly where I got it from. I never claimed credit for all the ideas.

And... again... I was just doing it to survive. I wasn't making money. I didn't even end up actually graduating, so it didn't even help me academically.

Somerton on the other hand not only rarely *if ever* credited the people whose words he stole, he was doing it for money, while also putting down fellow queer creators. He *wanted* full credit for all the ideas in his videos. To cite his sources would be to pass the credit on to others. And he couldn't do that.

Edited to add: It's probably a bit extreme to say I "stole" anything for my papers. Like I said, I cited my sources. I just paraphrased what I could when needed, probably to a degree that was questionable at worst. I just have anxiety and feel like "OH NO I"M A TERRIBLE PLAGIARIST."

[int0theabyssknownaslife]

Random but reminder to all, winter means flare ups for soooo many people. Nerve joint bones issues looovee the cold. Body is meaner cause weather. Give everyone a bit of grace if things are harder to do.

Also hey you random person who does struggle wirh this reminder you are not any less because you ar3 struggling more. It's the weather. It makes pain and symptoms be sooo much worse. Please give yourself grace, and take it easy and stay warm. You'd do the same to a loved one so do the same to yourself

[jonny-b-meowborn]

As time goes by I'm becoming more and more sure that I just can't survive on my own. I can take basic care of myself, but the second I have to go to a doctor or do some formal stuff I get paralyzed. I just can't. Fuck, I can barely even talk to strangers in general. Or even not strangers, I can't fucking text someone back if I'm not close to them, it's just so scary and exhausting. I'm becoming emotionally tired more easily and sometimes even talking with my mom about anything is too much for me and I love my mom. And I really need her, I can't do basic stuff without her pretty much holding my hand all the time. I can't get a normal job. We went to this blueberry plantation a few times but I just couldn't go there without her, and now the job is over and we can't go there at all. If I wasn't such a fucking baby I'd go there a few more times alone and get some money. I can't make calls, there's literally like two people I feel comfortable talking on the phone with. People used to say I was mature for my age when I was younger but I never grew up and now I'm almost 21 and can't do anything with my life. I'm scared of everything, I'm constantly exhausted physically and mentally. I'm like a fucking child. I'm scared that I'm gonna have to live with my mom my whole life. I can't see a future for myself, I'm just not able to survive without help and at some point I won't be able to get help, I don't want to be a parasite living off of my mom's money but I don't see anything else I could do. I hate my brain so much. I hate the way it refuses to work. I hate myself for being such a child.

[gregmarriage]

really just feels like the last four years of my life have been in pretty permanent stagnation, everything’s temporary and transitional, and i’ve been trying to fix it, but every time i do, something happens to make it worse

[pastafossa]

I - I finished the online process for medicaid in my new state a week ago. And there's now a medicaid card in my hand??? They got it to me that fast??? Like they want me to be able to have my medicine??? And I don't have to go through 50k more hoops over 6 months while hunting down a unicorn for its blood so I can sign in Mythos Blood that yes ffs my incurable illnesses they have records of haven't changed???? Which was the process in my old state and I kinda assumed it was the same in every state???

I'm honestly blown away by the process here, because it feels like they want to help me instead of sabatoge/stall until I give up. I realize there are still a lot of structural issues in the US and god knows we need healthcare for all, but damn. My new state cleared my low bar more than I expected.

[tittyinfinity]

I'm disabled and yes it is very wrong to tell your kids "get over it" or ''you're faking it'' their whole life and then turn around and expect your kid(s) to take care of you in the event of disability. Like no, you made your bed. "But I'll struggle to survive!" And so did your kids after years of abuse. Believe it or not, your kids have bodily autonomy, and aren't owed you their labor just because you birthed them. You wanna tell your kids that they're faking every fever and illness for attention then expect them to give a shit when you go down. Well, get the fuck over it.

[uncanny-tranny]

Look, if you've encountered a disabled person's life or living standards and you personally don't like it, the least you can do is not saying "I'm so grateful I don't like like that" or worse "I'm so glad I'm not you"

It is actually incredibly simple to simultaneously not center yourself and the way you aren't disabled or the way your disabilities don't impact your life like others and to not shame and humiliate others. It's sometimes okay to keep comments like that inside your mind, where it won't hurt that person.

[lickthatbattery]

i feel like every time i try to look into ANY of my various leg problems all the results are "this happens in elderly people because of age" or "this happens in runners/dancers/athletes because of injuries and wear&tear" like i'm unfit and about to be 26. explodes

[kdhume]