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starcrossed591 · 1 year ago

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KDrama Year in Review 2023

While I watched more KDramas this year than CDramas, none of them consumed my heart and soul quite like this year's crop of CDramas did (CDrama review post here). And I dropped KDramas more readily than I have in years past, in part because there were so many more things to watch than I had time for (also I had to finish my dissertation and graduate, etc etc). Still, there were definitely some that I really, really enjoyed, so here's this year's KDrama round up:

16. My Lovely Liar: Started strong, got boring real quick. Dropped for homophobic murder plot. Still, glad to see that Hwang Min Hyn can actually act (although full disclosure, I did still enjoy him in Alchemy of Souls, wooden as that performance may be). Hoping Kim So Hyun can catch a break and get a role in a drama more worthy of her in the near future.

15. Crash Course in Romance: Excellent performances and chemistry by the ML and FL. Romance between two middle aged people instead of youths is also a treat. Dropped around ep 12 because of the unnecessary, homophobic murder plot. Pass.

14. A Good Day to Be a Dog: Surprisingly stronger than the goofy premise suggests, largely on the basis of Park Gyu-Young's performance as the FL who turns into a dog upon being kissed. Pacing problems in the third act around the origins of the whole dog curse thing. Can't say I recommend unless you're really in the mood for some shenanigans, but largely inoffensive if a little silly. (Also it turns out Cha Eun Woo *really* leveled up his kiss game for this one!)

13. Love to Hate You: Perfectly serviceable rom com. Nothing too special, but a nice weekend binge if you're in the mood for that. Also a good way to see Kim Ji-Hoon's v handsome face and that *hair* without having to deal with everything involved with his rather murderous run in Flower of Evil.

12. Joseon Attorney: A Morality: Perfectly serviceable law procedural/Joseon historical. If you don't like either of those genres your mileage may vary, but I had missed having Bona on my screen, so it worked well enough for me.

11. Welcome to Samdal-ri: I seem to like this one more than literally everyone else I know, and I fully admit that my enjoyment of this drama is more vibes-based than plot-based. I guess I have a soft spot for Shin Hye Sun yelling at people at Ji Chang Wook going a bit unhinged over a woman who ran away from him (see also: Lovestruck in the City).

10. My Demon: Very much enjoying Song Kang as a cranky demon falling in love with a human. Very tropey in the best way, and feels like a return to form for the supernatural romance genre. Remains to be seen if they'll land the ending as of this writing, but enjoying as it goes.

9. Doctor Cha: A contribution to the slate of divorce comedies I watched this year (see also: Strangers Again (KDrama) and Let's Get Divorced (JDrama)), a surprisingly touching story about growing older when you've devoted your life to someone who has not done the same for you.

8. Alchemy of Souls: Light and Shadow (Part 2): While Ko Joon-Yung never quite managed to replace Jung So-Min as the FL for me, I definitely still enjoyed the closer to this fun fantasy series. Special shout out to Shin Seung-Ho as Prince Go Won and his pet turtle

7. Strangers Again: I didn't see a ton about this one on tumblr as it was airing, but I found this rom com? melodrama? divorce procedural? makjang? story about relationships and why they end unexpectedly profound. I tuned in expecting mindless makjang hot mess, and instead got a thoughtful meditation on divorce. Left me feeling unexpectedly melancholy at the end, but glad I watched it.

6. The Secret Romantic Guesthouse: Very fun sageuk! Probably won't knock your socks off, but it does what it does very well. Bonus points for a B couple as compelling as the A couple. I've also been a big Kang Hoon fan since Little Women, and there are a couple of other actors in here that I'm always glad to see working.

5. Perfect Marriage Revenge: Tour de force makjang. Came out of nowhere and blew me away. Hits all the right beats, and unexpectedly fun (and was a nice break from the heaviness of My Dearest for me). This was a good year for jaded and slightly unhinged transmigrated FL's back for their #revenge (see also: Story of Kunning Palace in CDrama land), and I was here for it. Also features one of the spiciest make-out scenes of the year, 10/10 recommend

4. See You in My 19th Life: Absolutely loved this haunting, melancholy, and sometimes unexpectedly goofy reincarnation drama. I loved the webtoon and had high expectations, and this drama largely met them! The continuing relationship between sisters Ji-Eum (Shin Hye Sun) and Cho-Won (Ha Yoon Kyung) was a special highlight for me, and while Shin Hye Sun is already a never-miss for me, I'm especially looking forward to whatever Ha Yoon Kyung does next. I prefer the ending of the Webtoon to the KDrama, but I'm still delighted this drama exists and am glad I watched it.

3. The Interest of Love: Look, I loved this drama. Even though it seemed on the surface like nothing but *mess* in the interpersonal lives of these characters working at a bank on the border between a rich and poor neighborhood in Seoul, it nonetheless had some of the most searing class commentary of the year for me. I also love an FL who will (spoiler) pack up her things and disappear at the drop of a hat, even if no one else will understand her decision to do so, because she just cannot deal anymore (see also: the FL in Lovestruck in the City, whom I also love but everyone else hated). This drama kept me gleefully coming back every week in a year where not a lot of others did.

2. Call It Love: A revenge slice of life melodrama that I found unexpectedly touching in its deep melancholy. Loved not only the main couple, but the relationship between the siblings and their pharmacist bestie. A lovely character study. (Also I somehow ended up watching this at the same time as Till the End of the Moon and Li Susu as Ye Xiwu's hidden identity/revenge plot, which was unexpectedly stressful! Had a very "it's the same picture" moment despite two dramas in two genres that could not be further apart.) If you missed this one (and since it aired on Disney+, you might have--Disney+'s effects on the KDrama streaming ecosystem will be the death of me), it's worth seeking out!

1. My Dearest (Parts 1 and 2): Kind of feels like everyone has said everything there is to say about sageuk of truly epic proportions, but it blew me away as well. Epic romance? Check. Twisty political machinations? Check. Heartwarming friendships between women? Check. Strong ensemble cast? And my top FL of the year, Lady Gil-Chae, played to perfection by Ahn Eun-Jin. I've adored her since Hospital Playlist, and am delighted that she's getting the attention and the roles she deserves. Namkoong Min also a top contender for ML of the year as Lee Jang-Hyun. Part 2 dragged for me a bit in places after a nearly perfect Part 1, but such a great drama overall.

Favorite Drama of the Year: My Dearest. See above.

Favorite Female Character: I mean, it's gotta be Gil Chae from My Dearest, right? She starts out as such a spiteful, spoiled noblewoman, and then turns out to have a core of pure steel. Turns out all her conniving and strategizing, which went towards causing mischief in the village, really just needed a proper outlet. While I would never want to be in the circumstances in which she found herself, if I did, she's exactly who I would want on my side.

Favorite Male Character: Everything's coming up My Dearest this year, because this one is Lee Jang-Hyun in My Dearest as well. Checks the box for my competence kink, and has a knack for showing up just when Gil-Chae needs him, even at great personal cost. Also a smart-ass, which I probably like a bit too much in a man.

Favorite Secondary Female Character: Cho-Won from See You in My 19th Life. Her relationship with her reincarnated older sister was almost more compelling to me than the main romance sometimes, and really helped develop how the ties that bind us are not just romantic ones. Also she was just super cute

Favorite Secondary Male Character: Could have picked anyone from Team Himbo in Alchemy of Souls, but gonna have to give this one to Go Won, himbo prince of my heart

Favorite Ship: Again, it's gotta be Gil-Chae and Lee Jang-Hyun in My Dearest. Sometimes, there are drama couples that nearly cause me pain when they are apart, and these two quickly became one of them. Though their relationships is hardly functional for much of it, through all that push and pull, they ultimately learn how to show up for each other. Also, their *chemistry* is insane!

Favorite Secondary Ship: I loved Hye-Seong and Sung Joon, the B couple in Call it Love. Seeing the SFL grow more comfortable with herself after a truly shitty ending to her previous relationship was a nice respite from the hidden identity stress of the A couple in this one. I'm also a sucker for a good romance where you start to see someone you've long taken for granted differently. (Close Runner Up: Cho Won and Do-Yun in See You in My 19th Life)

Favorite Platonic Relationship: Gil-Chae, Eun-Ae, and their maids, Jong Jong and Bong Doo, in My Dearest. I loved loved loved the relationship between these women in this drama, and part of the reason the second half of the drama suffered a bit for me is because of how far it moved away from this core relationship. They were ride or die for each other more than the majority of the men in their lives, and I loved that for them.

Trope that Needs to Die: While I find murder plots in rom coms tedious at the best of times, homophobic murder plots are really not it. Quit it, y'all. It's not cute.

Dramas I Missed: Moon in the Day, The Story of Park's Marriage Contract, and Tell Me That You Love Me (grrr Disney+ on this one) are on the list for next year. I'm probably missing others.

Non-2023 Drama Spotlight: Finally went back and watched Do You Like Brahms? for a hit of Park Eun-Bin. A lovely, if also melancholy, slice of life romance that's just as much about what to do when a (career related) dream that you've worked really, really hard for just isn't going to come through as it is about the main romance. Also made me fall in love with Kim Min-Jae and his lovely deep voice, enough so that I also then went back and finally watched Dali and the Cocky Prince, which was also a treat. Recommend both.

Most Looking Forward To: I continue to yearn for a Yumi's Cells 3, and who's to say if that one will ever come through, but I'm putting it out into the universe anyway. More realistically, I'm looking forward to the surprisingly stacked line-up of sageuks coming up, including Captivating the King and Love Song for Illusion.

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st4r-black · 5 months ago

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Hello. I have randomly found your account and was disheartened to see that you've been enduring a lot of family abuse. I'm only here to say that things get better overtime, please don't be afraid of fighting for your own sake and for your own beliefs. If your parents aren't helping you with your siblings' abuse, please consider notifying another trusted adult. You'll be okay, your life is cherished and appreciated. You're only a kid, none of this stuff is your fault, more so it's your neglectful parents' fault. Hope you can understand this text, please don't harm yourself ❤️

I'll be clear on this question...

I never had a good family or sibling relationship. I appeared to be flawed in everything. Most of the time, I was someone they could just make fun of, but I didn't like that. I couldn't do anything they expected from me. I always failed. They were always expecting something from me. I tried everything, but I couldn't do enough. Over time, I stopped trying.Unfortunately, we had a fight again yesterday. They use harsher words each time, but now I've gotten used to it and I'm often subjected to physical violence. I remember my father breaking two soda bottles on my head when I was 8 years old, and how my mother made me lie down on the ground with a knife on my neck when I was 11... These were the ones that could cause me the most pain, other than that, tons of times. I have been exposed to such things since my childhood. I have never felt free. I felt the need to hide the smallest thing from my family because I was afraid they would hear the same words again and hurt me. For them, I should be a source of pride. Other than that, I guess I was nothing more than a punching bag or someone they could just make fun of.He had verbally abused me a few times. My father told me that he was just joking and that it was not harassment, but I was very uncomfortable with this situation, but they continued to do it. When I first went through puberty, my father would constantly talk about the growth of my genitals, he would be very uncomfortable with this, and he would also constantly hit me or hit me for no reason.

I always told him that I was uncomfortable with this, but he kept doing it, sometimes even forcefully trying to bite and kiss me. He said that it was just a joke and that it was okay because he was my father, but I am really uncomfortable with this.My siblings were always people who thought they were superior. They would make fun of me for no reason and try to drive me crazy by damaging my belongings and beating me. They were the reasons for my anger problems, but they always proved me right. They freely did all the fun things that I couldn't do when I was their age because of fear of family. My family even always loved them. Even when they were playing games, they would play with them, talk about the game and have fun. When it comes to me, they only say hurtful things about me, that I'm wasting my time and that I'm a naughty person.I have a button phobia, which means that when I see buttons on clothes, it makes me want to vomit, but especially my siblings always try to make fun of it. They grab any button in their hands, walk towards me and try to make me vomit. Even when I tell them to go away, Vein is the culprit. My family says that I am rude, they are children and they cannot understand this.(They are in 6. and 5. grades so they are not that small and they can understand)

I am not actually a failure in my studies, I never had any problems with school, but the thing is, I was not an outstanding person, but I was still the person who came home at the end of the year with appreciation, but my family always expected better, I always felt inadequate, I tried everything, but it didn't work, I was always excited, I would forget certain things. In the end, I could not achieve that desired success.

I asked my family this question many times:

"Why don't you love me the way I am?"

The answer I got was this:

"Why should we? Why should we love a freak like you instead of someone better?"

After it was revealed that I was autistic, my family did not seek any help on the issue. Otherwise, they did everything that would trigger my autism. They forced me to talk to people or my relatives or have physical contact. They said that I was not normal and that they were trying to fix me, but I only got worse.

There are so many bad and traumatic things about my family that I can't tell, I don't know how to tell them.

So why didn't you go to the police or social services? As you may know, the situation is that the justice system in my country works like shit (I'm talking about a system where murderers of women can get a reduced sentence just because they wear suits..), so these types of parents can easily deceive the police and then continue the violence. My family is very good at manipulation, after they did a lot of bad things to me. Then they can deceive people by telling them that I see things that are not real.For a more concrete example:

My friend's friend's mother and father are separated and even though her alcoholic father went so far as to try to kill her, the police who came three times still did not take her from there or an investigation was not opened against her father (I guess that girl still lives with her father).

I hope it's clear enough why I couldn't go to the police.

Did I have friends? very little. I was always someone who couldn't keep up with the environment, I was seen as a freak and a childish person depending on my age. I was bullied in primary and secondary school for 3 years. Especially in my primary and secondary school, a girl whose name I don't want to give would always beat me and make fun of me. I would go to school with fear. I was beaten for hours every day, but my family didn't even care. They claimed that I deserved it, and even after I left school, my father repeatedly said that he regretted taking me to that school and seeing me like that. He said he had fun of seeing me in pain

In short, I am a freak who has no friends or family relationships, always lives in an imaginary world, looks like a man, is useless, ugly, doesn't even love herself and harms herself. :)

Thanks for the supports I love you guys 💟

#my post #lavina-arts #shitpost #tw sui vent #vent post #personal vent #vent #toxic parents #strict parents

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inariizaki · 2 years ago

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WAIT , WHAT ? — SHINSUKE K.

tags : fluff , angst ?? , mentions of alcohol , aged up!kita shinsuke.

notes : watch me make my haikyū debut lmao, also kita 🫶🫶 this is the first time i ever wrote for him so he's probably ooc ?? anw

you had an argument with kita recently. normally, you both would work it out, but today wasn't the case.

and now, you're here, sitting on the couch, while watching the clock.

kita left the house at 9:00 pm, and now, it's already 11:00 pm and he still isn't home, which made you worry.

‘ where could he be? ’ was repeating on your mind like a loop. you were very worried about your husband, you just wish he isn't doing something stupid.

11:05 pm. no kita.

you sighed. as minutes pass by, you were getting fidgety. you wanted to cry so much, but tears wouldn't come out.

sleep hasn't been getting into you, thankfully. you could still wait for kita. for your kita.

another sigh escaped your lips, does kita even realize that he's making you worry? did it ever cross his mind?

11:10 pm. no kita.

you were pacing back and forth in the living room. making theories in your head about where and how is kita doing.

you run your hands to your hair aggressively. which what kita hates so much when you're frustrated.

11:15 pm. still no kita.

it's almost 11:20 pm, and he still isn't here. your palms were sweating like crazy. you've tried calming yourself down, but it didn't lessen your nervousness.

you jumped as you heard your phone ring, but you thought, it could be kita.

you answer it without even hesitating, “ uh, hello? [name] [lastname] speaking. ”

kita. kita. kita. kita. shinsuke kita. please answer.

“ oh! [name]! good to hear that you're still awake. it's me, tsumu. ” atsumu replied.

“ well, actually, i was waiting for kita to come home. he left at 9:00 pm today, but it has been 11:00 pm and he still hasn't come back. are you perhaps with him? ” you ask.

“ speaking of captain, he's with us. and you don't have to worry. we're returning him back right now. we're heading to your place. ” atsumu said in a reassuring tone, which made the uneasy feeling go away.

you hum in confusion, “ wait, i'm confused, did something happened? ”

atsumu giggles, ” well, captain was drunk, so we wanted to take him home. since we didn't your worries to take over you. ”

“ thankyou so much. atsumu. ” you thank him.

“ yer welcome! ” atsumu says before hanging up.

you lay your back in the sofa, finally relaxing.

a few minutes later, you heard someone was knocking on the door. which made you think that it could be atsumu.

you open the door, just to see the miya twins, and kita's old teammates infront of you. kita was being assisted by atsumu, since he was very drunk.

you chuckled, “ maybe he enjoyed himself too much. ”

you hug kita from the back, preventing him not to fall. atsumu laughed at the sight of their old captain.

“ well, gotta go, [name]. and also, sorry for returning kita very very late. ” atsumu says with an apologetic smile.

you shake your head. “ oh, no problem. thank you again, atsumu. ”

as atsumu closed the door, you sighed in relief.

you drag kita in the living room. he smelt like alcohol, but you could careless.

you lay him on the sofa softly. you were about to undress kita, but he suddenly slapped your hands away.

maybe he was still upset about what happened. you thought.

“ please stop touching me, i have a girlfriend. ” kita says, which made you crack.

you try to undress him again, but the same thing happened again.

kita groans, “ please stop. she might think i'm cheating on her.. ”

you sigh, “ i'm your girlfriend, idiot. go change clothes, you smell bad. ”

kita whines, “ love, i'm sorry about what happened recently~ ”

“ you're already forgiven. just don't go out and come back home very late! ” you scold him, which made kita laugh.

“ yes, ma'am. ”

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iguessweallcrazyithinktho · 4 years ago

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run to you | Harry Styles

Summary: harry can’t help but feel a little jealous when it seems like his best friend is interested in someone else

GENRE: angst, fluff at the end

WARNING: jealous harry, roommates, being dumped, drunk reader briefly, crying

Pairing: harry styles x reader

Word count: 2.5k

Author note: I write a ton of friends to Lovers fic

Blog appropriate for all ages

Please don't post any of my content anywhere else without my permission.

---

Harry's fingers drummed on the table he was sitting at. His eyes knitted as he watched your figure across the room like you were some type of prey.

You were grinding up against a guy as the alcohol you consumed ran through your veins. You were carefree, living you life and enjoying yourself like lots of people were doing in the club that night except harry.

God he hated how that guy was touching your waist, and how you smiled as you looked at him, and how your lips were almost touching his. He hated it, harry really fucking hated it.

He wanted nothing more than tear that guy away from you, but he couldn't.

Harry adjusted himself in his seat, tearing his eyes away from you and the mystery man. His hands went down to his lap and he cleared his throat. He used every inch in his body to not look back over at you.

5 minutes later the song died down and you came back giggling. "Hi harry." Harry looked up at you, pressing his lips into a thin line.

You of course didn't notice and kept talking. "It's fun night. I just met this cute guy and he blew me away. He's going to take me on a date later this week because he likes me. It's going to be so fun." You squealed.

Harry growled under his breath before getting up. "Let's go." He took your hand. You looked up at him confused as to what the problem was. "Harry, what is it?"

Harry pulled you out of the club and to the car he drove you in. "It's late and you're really drunk. It's time to go."

You got in the car, harry did as well, and he drove you away to your apartment.

The whole ride harry grip on the steering wheel was tight. His mind was clouded with thoughts he just couldn't shake.

You on the other hand was confused. You peered over at Harry every now and then seeing his jaw tighten and his knuckles white from his grip. You didn't know what was wrong with him but you didn't bother trying to figure out either.

About 10 minutes later harry pulled into the driveway. He parked the car and got out. He helped you out of the car Because of your drunk state before letting you into the house.

Harry walked right passed you to his room with out a word. You felt yourself tear up at the action. You don't know if it was because you were drunk or you were genuinely upset, but you hated it.

That night you went to sleep crying and confused. Harry heard your cries loud and clear seeing that he was in the room next to you. He felt guilty for treating you like that but he was pissed.

The next morning harry woke up at the crack of dawn. He ripped the blanket off and dragged himself out of bed.

He went straight to the kitchen to get you some water Because he knew you were going to have a killer headache when you awoke. He still cared about you of course.

He walked back up the creaking stairs, grabbed an aspirin from the bathroom before walking to your room.

You were sprawled out on the bed, mouth open as you snored. Harry chuckled to himself at the image. He sat the water and pill down on your nightstand before shaking you awake.

"y/n, time to wake up."

You opened your eyes, groaning as your head started to throb. You easily regretted getting wasted last night.

You looked up at harry; he had a faint smile on his face that didn't quite meet the eyes. Images of last night flooded in your brain of harry being unknowingly mad at you. It made your heart drop in your chest.

You sat up and reached out for the water and aspirin. With harry's help you gulped it down before you looked up at him.

"uhh what was your problem yesterday?"

Harry sighed, "nothin' I was just ready to go." Harry lied. You knew it was a lie but didn't pry.

Your phone on the bedside table ring causing you to reach over for it. You opened your messages and began to read.

Harry watched as a smile creeped up on your face. "What is it?"

"the guy from yesterday message me. He wants to take me on a date tonight." You giddy said.

Harry swallowed, jaw tightening. "Well.. that sounds fun."

"I-"

Before you could get a word out, harry walked out of the room. You sat there dumbfounded. You didn't understand what his problem was and right now you seriously had a problem with him. He was being an huge ass.

Your makeup was done, you were dressed in a silk dress and a few expensive pieces of jewelry for your date. You exhaled as you stood in front of the mirror in the foyer. You were waiting for your date to come.

Harry walked down the stairs and saw you in that beautiful dress. God you were beautiful but it wasn't for him.

He walked straight to the kitchen without saying a word to you even though you looked right at him.

You walked into the kitchen ignoring his pissed state. "so, I'm probably going to be out till 11 so I'll see you later." You said to him.

He turned away from you grabbing a mug from the cabinet. "Have fun I guess."

You grew angry at him, "what is your problem? You've been acting like a huge jackass!"

Harry scuffed, "I'm a jackass. At least I'm not the one who's going out with a fuck boy." He placed the kettle on and placed the mug on the counter. His eyes didn't met yours at all. You decided it was time to give him a taste of his own medicine and ignore him like he's been ignoring you.

You walked out of the kitchen as you heard a knock on the door. You grabbed your bag and coat before walking to the door. Before you left you yelled out to harry.

"have a good Rest of your fucking day Harry." You walked out of the house, slamming the door slightly.

"you too y/n." Harry spat out to himself.

---

Days and days went on since you and harry talked on the night on your date.

Everytime you both were in the same room you ignored each other. It was like you were both strangers in your own home.

It wasn't like you both wanted to do this but harry was being a prick and you wanted absolutely nothing to do with him.

It was the day of another date with the guy you met at the bar. You were really excited. You sat in the restaurant waiting for him to come.

5 minutes turned to 10 minutes, 10 turned to 20, and 20 turned to 30 and he hasn't shown up. You started to worry, aggressively texting him but there was no response.

You were getting embarrassed at all the waiting you were doing right now. After a while you just decided to leave. After telling the waiters you were leaving, you walked out of the restaurant. As soon as you reached your car your phone went off.

You opened it seeing a message.

Bar guy | I'm not coming, I found another girl. Sry

You felt your heart drop as you got in your car. You held in your tears as you drove to your apartment. The only thing you wanted more than anything was to be with Harry. Even though you hated his guts, he was always the one there when you had a breakup.

You pulled into the driveway, parking the car. Harry who was inside wasn't expecting you back so early. He frowned as he sat his guitar down.

The door open revealing you. You were crying and went straight to harry.

"hey, love what happened?" Harry asked as placed a kiss on your forehead, wrapping his arms around you.

"he dumped me." You cried out. Harry awed as he once again kissed your head. "It's okay, he didn't deserve you."

You pulled away sniffling. "I'm sorry. I called you a jackass and you were right. He was a fuck boy and I didn't see it and I'm so so-"

"hey, no no it's okay, it's okay." Harry stopped you. "You didn't do anything wrong. He's the one I'm mad at not you ok."

"yeah... Ok." You whipped your eyes and sat down on the couch. Harry did the same. He picked up his guitar. "So I know I'm a shit friend sometimes but what do you think about us having a little bit of fun. Just me and you. I'll sing you a song."

You chuckled, "okay."

Harry smiled, "alright, let's do this."

---

You and Harry spent the whole night enjoying each other's company. After a few days of not talking it was worth it.

Later that night you and harry are laying on the floor after you both had a long dance party– yes you both were cheesy like that.

Your chest was rising and falling as you looked up at the ceiling. "that was fun."

Harry looked up at you, "of course it was, you're with me bitch, it's obviously going to be fun." Harry said

You laughed. You turned to harry and smiled. "Thanks for today." Harry smiled at you, "you're welcome."

He leaned over and placed a kiss on your nose, something that was normal and he has been doing for years. But this felt different to you.

His lips lingered making your skin tingle. When Harry pulled away he was inches away from your face. You couldn't help but close the gap between the both of you.

Your lips moved with his slowly with meaning. You moaned softly into his lips as harry pushed your back on the ground and hovered over you.

Eventually he pulled away and looked down at you. "Wow." Was all you could get out as he stared down at you. Harry chuckled, "yeah, wow." He placed another soft kiss on your lips before getting up leaving you shocked on the ground.

----

@captainamerica-is-bae

#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x reader #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff #harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n

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toujoursmiraculous · 4 years ago

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Thoughts and Reaction to Guiltrip!

Alright, so this one is a bit more of a serious one for me. But I'll be going in order of the episode so the more serious talk will be a bit further down! First thing we get is this lovely moment:

I've already addressed it in a post, but I'll say it again here. Guiltrip is episode 11, several episodes take place before Guiltrip that we haven't seen yet, so this is awhile after Marinette and Luka broke up. We also know that Marinette has always had feelings for Adrien, even when she was with Luka. Luka always knew that fact too. None of this is new and is to be expected, obviously, when Love Square is endgame. But! I also want to point out here that this is just a soft look. Very gentle, very common. I see people looking at each other both in real life and in other shows all the time. A look that says "I adore you". And I think it's sweet! Very subtle, but enough. Something's wrong with Rose. We never get told (in this episode anyway) what it is, but it's a chronic illness that's a worry in Rose's life, ever since she was young. I feel really bad for Juleka, knowing that her friend's been struggling with an illness, and whenever something happens she has to worry about it alone. Also that really sucks when you try to cheer somebody up and make a joke, that because you were mislead about a situation you end up making things worse. Poor Marinette. :c Adrien when he realizes he's bumped into someone (and the pink bubbles to remind us of Marinette's feelings for him):

Adrien when he realizes just who it was he bumped into!:

Scroll up now and look at how Marinette was looking at Adrien earlier that day. It's the exact same look. Yet, something feels different from usual to me, idk. But continuing on. Marinette gets slightly jumbled with her words, but manages to give herself a kick and says nope not now! Good for her! You can't expect to change overnight, but she's working on it.

She looks to the side, gathering her surroundings for a split second and she misses the top step. I'd like to say that this is just a joke for the show but well, this kind of thing has happened to me a lot because I'm that much of a klutz so I feel for her here. (On Halloween I forgot that there was another step as I was walking down as I wasn't paying attention. I couldn't walk on my foot for 2 weeks. It's a serious problem, guys. Really. xDD) Marinette had told Adrien she's concerned it was something she said that upset Juleka and Adrien tells her while sometimes she doesn't make sense, what she says is never mean. This scene reminds me of when Ladybug's worried about something and Chat Noir's there to keep her grounded and remind her of how things really are. I very much appreciate seeing such a scene with Adrienette! Makes the Love Square much more rounded. Also the way he stops her and says let him go talk to her to try to help the situation and any possible misunderstandings from taking place. ;-;

Can I just say... oh my gosh. He went from determined, to hearing Marinette trying to comfort her, to looking with confidence "This girl is amazing." and the whole Ladynoir vibe I'm getting from this scene makes me happy. The thing that's unrealistic about this scene though is you expect to tell me that 8 kids went down those stairs and came up behind them and Marinette, Adrien, and Juleka didn't hear? XD Now here's where the serious comes in. Rose is hospitalized with an illness we don't know about, but has been a long-term thing that has Juleka really worried a lot. That must be so stressful :c I'm going to be honest and say I never really saw Julerose romantically. Like I can see how people do, but to me, I could see that their bond was really unique. It didn't really fit completely in the "BFF" category either. But if felt like there was more to them that I didn't really understand. I think the best example off the top of my head was during Zombizou, when Rose was going to help Chloe after she slid down Chat's stick and she went too fast for him to catch her. Juleka seemed especially worried and concerned for her. Rose never seemed to get concerned about Juleka in the same way Juleka was about Rose. Juleka's always been more protective and worried and it was always one of those things that made me go "hmm, interesting". Now this episode finally explains why and I'm honestly super glad for it. Because this kind of a relationship is not a common one in media, especially kids media. Partially because having such serious illnesses in young people is not particularly common, and having someone who's so caring and protective of that person is even less common. And most people probably don't realize how amazing it is to have health problems and then have someone in their life who acts like Juleka does for Rose. I had a life-threatening illness as a kid, one that still affects me greatly today. When in school, my friends knew about it without me having to say anything unfortunately, and while they didn't usually treat me differently, sometimes they were pretty ignorant and didn't understand why I wasn't "normal" like them. They asked questions that were harder ones to answer, and tended to forget my answers. I got a lot of "I know you have X problem but I still don't see why you can't..." as well as thinking I was lying if I said I wasn't well and couldn't go to a party, and that was hard to deal with, being limited in what you can do which makes you different and being judged for things out of your control. So seeing these kids who only know something's wrong with her, but are willing to do so much to make her life better and happier, not judging her at all, wanting to take care of her no questions asked was really heart-warming for me. I only had one friend during that time that was anything close to this. I never had to explain anything to him if I didn't want to. He never asked me personal questions I didn't want to answer. And he seemed to know what he could do to make things for me easier if I was having a hard time without me ever saying so. And this is another reminder to me that this show is aimed at kids. To show kids that they'll likely encounter someone around their age that's going through something serious like a health problem, and what that kid needs most is kindness and not to be made to feel like they're even more different from the other kids than they already feel. The way they handled that aspect of it for such a short, limited intro to it, I think they did good. I discussed this next bit with a friend. She mentioned it first, the trope where those with chronic or serious illnesses are usually an "inspiration". With this episode, you kind of get the feeling that because Rose's been through so much, she's therefore a really positive and bubbly person and it kind of gives off the vibe that if you don't view things the way she does, then you're not doing it right. "What matters isn't the problem, but how you handle it." While I agree with this, and that when you come out of or regularly deal with

such hard times, automatically trying to see the world better and brighter can easily happen, but it's not exactly realistic either, at least not to the extent Rose and other people the media has portrayed. For one, I think you have to have always been more of that kind of person from the start to realistically be so positive. As my friend said and I agree, positivity is just who Rose is, she's not who she is just for the sake of a trope. But honestly, when you've gone through something so difficult, and if life continues to throw you more difficulties on top of it, being positive so much can sometimes turn into a negative and be harmful too. When you've been through a lot, it's important to allow yourself to feel the negative too because it's part of dealing with such problems. And if you've been through a lot in life and you haven't come out of it being all sunshine and rainbows, always looking on the brighter side of things, that's perfectly okay. Life's hard and tends not to work out how we'd like, or even for the better sometimes. If being positive and hopeful after struggling is hard to do, you're not bad or wrong for feeling that way, everybody handles things differently. c: ANYWAY, moving on to the rest of the episode! Juleka being all irritated and worried that the class was going to expose her spilling Rose's secret xD While the situation isn't ideal, it's nice that this is the most involved she's seemed with everyone in the entire duration of the show. But Rose knows something's up, and I love that she talks to her about it and realizes that she should've told everyone herself instead of Juleka being the only one who knew. Which has been such a burden on her. (Oh no, what if this is a reflection of Alya knowing Marinette's Ladybug later on? I'm hoping not.) Ugh these children and how much they care about Rose! These kids are the absolute best. But then they kind of ruin it a little with going overboard. Which, frankly, I think is just ignorance of her situation really. I mean, we don't know what exactly is wrong with Rose. Just that she ends up in the hospital. If they knew about her condition, what causes her to get sick, what to look out for, etc, they'd be much more informed and much less likely to be frantic whenever something's not perfectly "normal" with her. All of these kids are going to be overprotective parents someday, aren't they?

Okay so like... are Adrien and Marinette going to question at all how Ladybug and Chat Noir showed up immediately after Juleka was akumatized, and no damage had happened outside of the school for it to be known to the public? Literally the only ones that could've possibly known were the class to have shown up that fast. ??? I am confusion. "I can't help my best friend face his father." "No, Nino..." Two things: The fact that THIS is what he's feeling guilty about? My poor Nino! Dx I just love him, he really doesn't get enough love and appreciation imo. Also, um, isn't Ladybug like right by Chat? Didn't she hear that? What? Idk but I feel like we're really missing something here. Usually we get things that are kind of hints, that make us wonder if they know right, but this? This is a bit too blaring-in-your-face, and there's two major things so close together. Really strange. Chat about to use Cataclysm on himself. Good grief that was not expected. Chat Blanc threatened to destroy himself along with everything else. Now Chat Noir while affected with negative emotions from an akuma almost Cataclysmed himself. This show really is getting deep and dark isn't it. o.o Also is there something Adrien needs to work out with someone...? Daizzi and Rose saying the other's so cute, ugh they're both so cute! And Pigella's costume and transformation is so adorable omg. Okay so Pigella's power allows people to see their biggest wish, the thing that'd make them the most happy and feel positive emotions. I know some people probably think "That's it?" Considering that Shadow Moth preys on people's negative emotions, such a power is actually extremely useful facing Shadow Moth. (And let's not forget, that while that's her power, she has the ability to fight and make a difference just from being transformed too) BUT AWWW Juleka's wish! And her face when Pigella said it aloud. ;-; Am I the only one wondering if Pigella may someday use her power on Shadow Moth and that's how they learn his motive? I'm so impressed with how Rose knew how to handle everything. She knew she can't slip up with Juleka. She knew to sneak away to detransform and come back as Rose. She knew to subtly give the Miraculous back so nobody would ever know she had it. Even Chat Noir had no idea! I don't know why, I'm just so very proud of that. "She doesn't need a Miraculous to be a superhero." She really has the characteristics of one, and I can't wait to see more of Pigella. Also I'm really wondering. This scene here:

All the kids that are part of that friend group are there...except Marinette and Adrien, of course. Alya knows why Marinette isn't there. But is she wondering about why Adrien isn't there too? LOL Marinette being like "I'm taking your pillow back, sorry! Gotta wait for it like everyone else." and the boys being like LE GASP. Marinette's right, she's not fragile! The fact Rose jokes with her and makes everyone laugh, and Chloe saying "Hey, why doesn't everyone laugh when I say something like that?!" Adrien: Because in your case, it's never a joke. Chloe: Hm, that's true. Which is super funny, especially how he just so casually says it. But also it really shows again how Chloe wants to be liked. She wishes the kids would laugh when she makes comments, but it's because they're said in a serious/obnoxious way, instead of making light of something like in Rose's case here, that they don't. I know she talked about it with Ladybug in an episode, but it again shows that that's what she'd like. All that needs to happen is someone helping her get there. Maybe Zoe and Luka will somehow help with that later on. Anyway, this was a really great episode! I feel like some things might not make quite as much sense as they should if we got it in order, but what can you do when Gloob has to air them? Even a friend of mine who's been doing what she can to avoid spoilers, still got spoiled. She's having to delete tumblr to avoid future spoilers because people can't help themselves and tag things properly. So thanks Gloob. :P All we wanted was the episodes in order. We've waited this long for S4, we can wait a bit longer. But they gotta make money I guess. I'm glad other countries are trying their best to keep it in order anyway. c: Guiltrip also has some really great Adrienette moments, and covered a more serious topic which was really interesting and shows how much the show's changing. Especially with some of the choice of camera angles and movements! Like the zoom-in on the door with Adrien and Marinette, the boys LE GASP scene. Very cool artistic choices! Looking forward to the episodes that come before this one to try to help fill in some of the gaps! And apologies to those that frequently read these posts from me, I started writing it up late and couldn't finish so you get it the day after instead. xD

#ml #miraculous ladybug #ml spoilers #ml season 4 spoilers #guiltrip spoilers #adrienette #juleka couffaine #rose lavillant #adrien agreste #marinette dupain-cheng #thoughts and reaction to guiltrip #miraculous tales of ladybug and chat noir #miraculous ladybug spoilers

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bondsmagii · 4 years ago

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Lol in my school the boys always reunite to talk about their genitals, they be like "yeah, my dick is 30 cm, I have so much pubic hair that you could make a whole ass wig with it and I've definitely had sex with at least 100 girls. Also, my boners usually last at least 2 hours and I cum like 2 liters". A fun fact is that having such long boners often could indicate you have a problem down there lmao

Anyways, I think it's curious that you've had such a different experience when it comes to boys and their sexual experiences, I thought that even in religious environments boys do talk about these type of stuff, just secretly

I mean, there were still dick jokes and dick-based insults, of course, because teenage boys are gonna be teenage boys no matter what. from my limited experience (going to a tiny school in a rural village where my whole year consisted of about 100 pupils) talking about sexual experience was rare because... well, none of us had any and it was very obvious lmao. as I said, our village was tiny and we knew everyone our age because we all went to the same school -- there was only one high school for our whole area. there was no more than 500 pupils total at any time, and we all knew not just one another's names but one another's whole families, too. it was very difficult to be like “yeah I’ve been fucking and trucking with SO MANY GIRLS man” when there’s 50 girls in your year, you’ve known all of them since you were 5 years old, and there’s only one bus a week to the Big City. in my part of Ireland, we’re also in high school from age 11-16, so like literally nobody will believe you and you’ll look like a total fucking twat, so nobody bothers.

in fact, I’d say the opposite was true. when we did start getting old enough that things might more reasonably happen, you kept that shit under lock and key. you did not advertise it, because you’d get the girl in trouble (of course, just the girl). obviously this varies from place to place, but in my school at least, a couple of guys who did blab got real shit for it. kind of just like “yeah, how good can you be if you have to constantly go on about it and tell everyone how good you are?” people would tease the shit out of him and tell him to shut the fuck up, and the girl would just deny it.

as for my experiences in Catholic rural Ireland, I was fucking other guys by that point so I stayed right out of it 😂

#anon #asks

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senadimell · 5 years ago

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If you've got time to share, I'd love to hear more about your thoughts around Snape and Lupin.

@deathdaydungeon, here you are!

After a conversation with @frederick-the-great, I’ve been thinking about Lupin, Snape, and what they say about morality in HP. I’m not talking about the troublesome white hats, black hats morality, but am instead looking at from this angle: Lupin is nice and well-liked, but often lacks a backbone, whereas Snape is mean and disliked, but incredibly brave. Which is more important? I find Harry’s last sacrifice to be a useful point by which we measure their impact.

Lupin and Snape useful to compare on several important fronts.

As foils for each others’ teaching methods

The way they deal with social disadvantage

Their connections to Harry’s father and how they pass on James’ legacy

1) They both teach at Hogwarts, and are foils for each other in many ways. Snape is mean and takes away points. He’s seen as selfish. His classes are hard and unpleasant for Harry. He’s mean to Neville, and rather than encouraging him, mocks him and belittles him, which just adds to the overall disaster of Neville’s poor self-esteem mixing badly with potions class.

However, even Umbridge admits that Snape’s teaching methods work, and she’s working for Fudge who doesn’t like Death Eaters and has been defied by Snape in GoF, so we know he’s effective for a lot of people, if not Neville.

Yet, for all that, Snape saves Harry’s life multiple times. On top of that, Snape wants to keep the fact that he saved Harry’s life a secret.

“Very well. Very Well. But never--Never tell, Dumbledore! This must be between us! Swear it, I cannot bear...especially Potter’s son...I want your word!

My word, Severus, that I will never reveal the best of you? Dumbledore sighed, looking down into Snape’s ferocious, anguished face. “If you insist...”

DH 679, The Prince’s Tale

Conversely, Lupin is nice and rewards points. He’s seen as generous. His classes are fun and interesting for Harry. He’s kind to Neville, and expresses confidence in him that leads him to succeed and do well. That confidence is a huge part of Neville’s character development. I doubt he’d grow into the resistance leader in DH if not for the many times teachers expressed confidence in him, like Dumbledore in PS, Lupin in PoA, Fake!Moody in GoF, and Harry in OotP. Harry certainly approves of his methods:

“You’re the best Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher we’ve ever had!” said Harry. “Don’t go!”

PoA 424, Owl Post Again

However, it’s worth noticing that Hermione does worse on his exam than we ever see. She fails the Boggart test, and she and Harry were the only two people not permitted to experience the Boggart in class. Lupin’s teaching methods aren’t foolproof. Despite that, he’s overall seen as a nice guy and good teacher.

Yet Lupin endangers Harry’s life. The secrets he keeps are dangerous: his secret to keep is that he’s a werewolf and actively endangered three students lives with his negligence, as well as the fact that he hid a secret about a believed and convicted mass murderer to save face with Dumbledore.

“That was still really dangerous! Running around in the dark with a werewolf! What if you’d given the others the slip, and bitten somebody?”

“A thought that still haunts me,” Lupin said heavily. “And there were near misses, many of them. We laughed about them afterwards. We were young, thoughtless--carried away with out own cleverness.

“I sometimes felt guilty about betraying Dumbledore’s trust, of course....he had admitted me to Hogwarts when no other headmasters would have done so, and he had no idea I was breaking the rules he had set down for my own and others’ safety. He never knew I had led three fellow students into becoming Animagi illegally. But I always managed to forget my guilty feelings every time we sat down to plan our next month’s adventure. And I haven’t changed...

Lupin’s face had hardened, and there was self-disgust in his voice. “All this year I have been battling with myself, wondering whether I should tell Dumbledore that Sirius was an Animagus. But I didn’t do it. Why? Because I was too cowardly. It would have meant admitting that I’d betrayed his tryst while I was at school, admitting that I’d led others along with me...and Dumbledore’s trust has meant everything to me. He let me into Hogwarts as a boy, and he gave me a job when I have been shunned all my adult life, unable to find paid work because of what I am. And so I convinced myself that Sirius was getting into the school using Dark Arts he learned from Voldemort, that being an Animagus had nothing to do with it...so in a way, Snape’s been right about me all along.”

PoA 355, Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs

Plan is emphasized because those trips that ended in “near misses” weren’t some impulsive romp. They were planned and coordinated in advance.

“I just saw Hagrid,” said Harry. “And he said you’d resigned. It’s not true, is it?”

“I’m afraid it is, said Lupin. He stared opening his desk drawers and taking out the contents.

“Why?” said Harry. The Ministry of Magic don’t think you were helping Sirius, do they?”

Lupin crossed to the door and closed it behind Harry.

“No. Professor Dumbledore managed to convince Fudge that I was trying to save your lives.” He sighed. “That was the final straw for Severus. I think* the loss of the Order of Merlin hit him hard. So he--er--accidentally let slip that I am a werewolf this morning at breakfast.”

“You’re not leaving because of that!” said Harry.

Lupin smiled wryly.

“This time tomorrow, the owls will start arriving from parents ....They will not want a werewolf teaching their children, Harry. And after last night, I see their point. I could have bitten any of you...That must never happen again.

“You’re the best Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher we’ve ever had!” said Harry. “Don’t go!”

PoA 424, Owl Post Again

What strikes me about this conversation is how Lupin shifts the blame around. This doesn’t start with an admission of guilt. He’s not leaving because the parents are right. He’s not leaving because he’s seen how dangerous he can be, or because he owns up to making an incredibly dangerous decision. He’s leaving because Snape forced his hand. If Snape didn’t do that, he would do the same thing he’s always been doing: sweeping his misdoing under the rug and promising himself privately that he’s going to change, but never doing it.

It’s always someone else’s fault for Lupin. That’s a neat tie in to the next point of comparison:

2. Lupin and Snape both experience marginalization in wizarding society, but in very different ways. Lupin faces socio-legal** marginalization and Snape faces socio-economic marginalization.

Lupin’s a werewolf. We see how prejudice affects his life, from his inability to find a job and his worn out clothes to his people-pleasing nature. He’s always acting nice and harmless. He does nothing to play into the condemning stereotypes he’s faced since childhood. Despite that, he still can’t find a job. Nobody will hire him, and people are scared to interact with him. From the way he talks about werewolves, it’s implied that this prejudice is held blindly across Wizarding society. Both Ron and Hermione are horrified to learn Lupin’s a werewolf. *** Later on, he’s legally limited in the kinds of jobs he holds and the kind of magic he’s allowed to perform. Lupin has no control over his transformations, and did not choose his condition.

Lupin’s not really wrong when pities himself. The odds really are stacked against him when he’s treated as if he’s a wolf 24/7, not just a few predictable times a month. His prospects are honestly awful.

The problem is, his condition is dangerous. Thus, the issue of victim blaming is particularly thorny for Lupin. He can’t just accept that he’s a monster for something he has no say over, and yet he can’t escape the fact that sometimes he is monstrous for reasons out of his control. He feels guilty for the people he could have hurt, but also seems to resent that people blame him for something that’s not his fault. The problem is that he carries that lack of accountability into spheres where he should be accountable, like not taking his medication and endangering children because of it.

Snape’s story is very different. He is poor in both the wizard and muggle worlds, and half-blooded, and was sorted into Slytherin as a child. He doesn’t have one condition against him, but checks boxes that make it hard for any one side to accept him. He’s too impure and poor to survive on his own for the Slytherin, but is a Slytherin with Death Eater friends and housemates interested in dark magic, which means he’s never going to fit in with the Order of the Phoenix crowd, especially when some of its members torment him at school. ****4

This essay makes a convincing point that the wizarding world is not a meritocracy, and that people like Snape need powerful patronage to advance if they don’t have the money to support themselves.

I don’t consider the sorting a proper choice. I know Harry does, but I’m of the opinion that at age 11, very few people have been taught how to analyze different perspectives and make an informed decision. Most 11-year-olds are trained to obey their parents and accept their family’s ideology. Harry’s choice rests on very little evidence--most of what he knows is what Hagrid told him, and that he doesn’t want to be sorted into Voldemort’s house along with Draco Malfoy, someone who reminds him of Dudley. I don’t think Snape was very informed either (I’d love to know why), because he doesn’t realize why it Lily wouldn’t be sorted into Slytherin.

“You’d better be in Slytherin,” said Snape, encouraged that she had brightened a little. DH 671, The Prince’s Tale

Either the pureblood rhetoric just wasn’t strong in those days, or his mother didn’t tell him about that.

...“Where are you heading, if you’ve got the choice?”

James lifted an invisible sword.

“’Gryffindor, where dwell the brave at heart!’ Like my dad.”

Snape made a small, disparaging noise. James turned on him.

“Got a problem with that?”

“No,” said Snape, though his slight sneer said otherwise. “If you’d rather be brawny than brainy--”

DH 671-2, The Prince’s Tale

It seems that most people just follow familial preferences. As to why Snape wants to be in Ravenclaw over Slytherin, my preferred interpretation is that he had a family legacy, knew that Slytherin rewarded the ambitious and clever, and that Slughorn, the head of Slytherin house, had a knack for making the kind of connections that a poor, clever boy would need to succeed.

Nevertheless, once Snape was in Slytherin, the odds were stacked against him. The house in that era was full of people who would later be Death Eaters. “Dark Magic” wasn’t frowned upon among his housemates, and siding with Voldemort wasn’t yet widely acknowledged as a transgression by wider society.

“No, no, but believe me, [Sirius’ parents] thought Voldemort had the right idea, they were all for the purification of the wizarding race, getting rid of Muggle-borns and having pure-bloods in charge. They weren’t alone either, there were quite a few people, before Voldemort showed his true colors, who thought he had the right idea about things.…” OotP 112

Additionally, people like Bellatrix were in the years above him, and given how Fred and George acted with younger students, I think it’s highly likely younger students had to find a place in the hierarchy or be the target of ‘pranks.’ He was a halfblood, after all, and dirt poor.

Snape knew these people. He ate with them, slept with them, and went to class with them. It is so much easier to understand and befriend someone you spend time with. I’d say that most people who subscribe to problematic ideologies aren’t just awful to be around all the time, or else these movements wouldn’t gain any traction. They’re likely funny and nice to be around if you’re not on their bad side.

In addition to strong peer pressure to befriend the people who would be death eaters, he was also bullied four to one. His bullies received protection from the headmaster when he was nearly killed or permanently maimed. They were popular and well liked.

The best analogy I’ve heard to describe Snape's Hogwarts situation is that he’s a kid in a rough neighborhood who joins the local gang. It provides protection and the hope of social mobility, and from his perspective, the other gang fights just as dirty (his treatment by the marauders). He doesn’t stop to think that the system is flawed, or that the gang’s very existence indicates the failure of authority and threatens its members. He just sees himself as a kid with nothing who needs help with protection and advancement. We know that Voldemort hasn’t shown his true colors, and it’s possible he showed different faces to different people.

‘Now, yer mum an’ dad were as good a witch an’ wizard as I ever knew. Head Boy an’ Girl at Hogwarts in their day! Suppose the myst’ry is why You-Know-Who never tried to get ’em on his side before ... probably knew they were too close ter Dumbledore ter want anythin’ ter do with the Dark Side.

‘Maybe he thought he could persuade ’em ... maybe he just wanted ’em outta the way. All anyone knows is, he turned up in the village where you was all living, on Hallowe’en ten years ago. You was just a year old. He came ter yer house an’ – an’ –’ (“The Keeper of the Keys”)

Dumbledore’s cited as the reason they turned him down, not their blood status. I think there’s evidence that the wholesale anti-muggleborn campaign wasn’t a huge part of the first wizarding war, and wasn’t implemented until the second, even if there was anti-muggle propaganda. (Muggle=/=muggleborn). It’s implied that Tobias is abusive and that Snape hates him for what he did to him and his mother; it’s implied that faced class prejudice by the muggles around him as well:

“I know who you are. You’re that Snape boy! They live down Spinner’s End by the river,” she told Lily, and it was evident from her tone that she considered the address a poor recommendation.

DH 665, The Prince’s Tale

When you read stories about people who are able to escape cycles of gang violence and poverty, there’s almost always someone who lifts them out. There’s someone who pushes them, or extends a hand, or believes in them. There are community outreach programs, or churches, or an English teacher that pushed them to do better and try out for a scholarship. That person is usually someone who knows what it’s like and knows how hard it is to get out.

Snape doesn’t seem to get that support anywhere. Slughorn doesn’t seem to notice him, for whatever reason. Lily doesn’t approve of his friends, but also doesn’t understand at all what the pull is--that it’s hard to swim against the current of what everyone else is saying, despite the fact that she feels the same pressure to end her friendship with Snape.

“… thought we were supposed to be friends?” Snape was saying. “Best friends?” “We are, Sev, but I don’t like some of the people you’re hanging round with! I’m sorry, but I detest Every and Mulciber! Mulciber! What do you see in him, Sev, he’s creepy! D’you know what he tried to do to Marry Macdonald the other day?”

DH 673, The Prince’s Tale

In the very same conversation, the fact that Snape is not allowed to share what happened to him with Lupin and the werewolf incident means that Lily will never be able to understand what Snape is facing: That the leader of the good guys makes excuses for and protects people who recklessly endanger the lives of others.

“And you’re being really ungrateful. I heard what happened the other night. You went sneaking down that tunnel by the Whomping Wollow, and James Potter saved you from whatever’s down there--”

Snape’s whole face contorted and he spluttered, “Saved? Saved? You think he was playing the hero? He was saving his neck and his friends’ too!...”

DH 674, The Prince’s Tale

Later in the year after SWM, she tells Snape this:

“None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you.”

DH 675 The Prince’s Tale

She expects him to reject all of his classmates and stand against the tide, despite the fact that she knows how hard it is to do that and can’t comprehend why he sticks with his classmates. She expects him to be grateful to James Potter as if what he did was altruistic, because the Headmaster swore Snape to secrecy and he keeps his promises, despite the fact that someone else was spreading the story. (The fact that she says she heard it instead of talking about it like its common knowledge implies that she heard it from a friend, so our friends the Marauders likely weren’t keeping their lips zipped even if Snape was.)

I don’t say this to shift the blame away from Snape to Lily in regards to Snape joining the Death Eaters. I just want to point out that Lily wasn't someone who could help him break the cycle. He didn’t squander some chance she offered him. She just wasn’t enough to break him out--not empathetic, motivated, or well-informed enough. (I think the fact that they were peers plays a big role in that).

Ultimately, Snape did choose to join the Death Eaters. He did yield to peer pressure. He did obey his assignment and report the prophecy to Voldemort. He spent his youth yielding, following the path in front of him, and choosing what was probably the easier choice: stick with your group, find powerful friends, do what they want, and don’t ask too many questions about their methods. That’s what makes his decision to betray Voldemort so powerful to me.

Here’s part of the passage when Snape betrays Voldemort:

...The adult Snape was panting, turning on the spot, his wand gripped tightly in his hand, waiting for something or for someone...His fear infected Harry too, even though he knew that he could not be harmed, and he looked over his shoulder wondering what it was that Snape was waiting for--

Then a sliding, jagged jet of white light flew through the air. Harry thought of lightning, but Snape had dropped to his knees and his wand had flown out of his hand.

“Don’t kill me!”

DH 676, The Prince’s Tale

He was terrified. He knew he was caught between the world’s two most powerful wizards, but it was worth it if he could save his childhood friend.

Then when Lily dies:

“Her son lives. He has her eyes, precisely her eyes. You remember the share and color of Lily Evans’s eyes, I am sure?”

“DON’T!” bellowed Snape. “Gone...dead...”

“Is this remorse, Severus?”

“I wish..I wish I were dead....”

“And what use would that be to anyone?” said Dumbledore coldly.

DH 678, The Prince’s Tale

Whatever motivation Snape had before is gone. A person’s life who is not his own is worth more than his own, and he’s drowning in guilt. From now on, Snape works to be useful in saving Harry’s life, and later many lives, at risk of death. His choices are a black mark on his record, likely making it difficult for him to get a job when he’s been tried as a Death Eater, and all of his wizarding connections are Death Eaters or their associates. He has no money or influence. Dumbledore hires him.

So Lupin has a single ailment and faces constant social and legal discrimination. He constantly tries to undermine people’s expectations about werewolves by being mild, but unfortunately is too afraid of rejection and its consequences to stand up against bad behavior or take full responsibility for his failings. He has friends who support him, but do it by engaging in risky behavior. He does not stop them. Perhaps he fears exposure and expulsion. Perhaps he just likes belonging for once. Either way, he does not come clean until forced to.

Snape is different; instead of facing outright rejection, he’s from a poor background and grows up surrounded by peers who join something somewhere between a gang and a cult while being bullied by people groomed by a rival organization. The headmaster of his school supports the rival organization and swears him to secrecy about an incident when they endangered his life, sending the message that his life is worthless. That same group continues to publicly bully him. He continues down this path until he realizes that it endangers something he cares about, and makes a decision that puts him at risk of being killed by the two most powerful wizards alive. He changes course.

Snape seems to view his problems as challenges facing him, whereas Lupin sees his problems as part of who he is, and not something he can change. Lupin seems to accept what happens to him in a fatalist kind of way. He sees what happens as inevitable and somewhat out of his control, whereas Snape never seems to blame his circumstances for him becoming a death eater, even though they clearly limited his options. I think that attitude matters. However, because Lupin’s facing a fictional magical malady, it’s difficult to fully blame him for that attitude.

Both Lupin and Snape have to react to powerful societal pressure that makes it difficult for them to succeed. Comparing them is apples and oranges at best, because their circumstances were so different. I don’t think you can judge either’s morality based on group identity, though.

3. Finally, they both act as a window on James: who he was, and what he means to Harry, who never knew him. That means in some way, they help pass on his parental legacy to orphaned Harry.

Hogwarts is Harry’s home, which means that the teachers are more than just teachers, but play a symbolic parental role in his life.

Hogwarts was the first and best home he had known. He and Voldemort and Snape, the abandoned boys, had all found home here.

DH 697, The Forest Again

You can’t understand Harry without realizing what he lacks: a loving home and living parents. He’s always looking into the past to find his parents, and is saddled with a legacy he struggles to understand--why did he live, who were his parents, and what does he need to do now?

Lupin and Snape also share a connection with Harry that goes beyond a normal teacher-student relationship, unlike McGonagall or Flitwick. Snape and Lupin are more personally connected to Harry than the other professors because they know Harry’s parents and went to school with them. I will mostly focus on James from here on out since we know so little about Lily personally and Harry mostly tries to emulate or avoid his father’s behavior and legacy.

They’re also the last people who knew James to survive, and they die almost at the same time. They’re the only teachers apart from Dumbledore who give Harry private lessons. More importantly, these lessons are all tied thematically to Harry’s past. Harry’s experience with dementors and the patronus charm are his first re-encounter with his parents and his past.

Terrible though it was to hear his parents’ last moments replayed inside his head, these are the only times Harry had heard their voices since he was a very small child. But he’d never be able to produce a proper patronus if he half wanted to hear his parents again.

PoA 243, The Patronus

In the end of PoA, Harry sees himself and mistakenly thinks it’s his father.

“Come on!” he muttered, staring about. “Where are you? Dad, come on--”

But no one came. Harry raised his head to look atet he circle of dementors across the lake. One of them was lowering its hood. It was time for the rescuer to appear--but no one was coming to help this time--

And then it hit him--he understood. He hadn’t seen his father--he had seen himself--

Harry flung himself out from behind the bush and pulled out his want.

“EXPECTO PATRONUM!” he yelled.

PoA 411, Hermione’s Secret

So the patronus itself is linked up with Harry’s past, and his coming-of-age. He doesn’t rely on others to save him, but must do it himself. (Though Harry’s never really trusted the adults to save him.) It’s interesting to note that Harry actually learns the Patronus charm under Lupin’s tutelage.

On the other hand, Snape introduces Harry to the unpleasant side of his father’s legacy. Through Snape, we see that James wasn’t just a little cocky, but a bully.

“Apologize to Evans!” James roared at Snape, his wand pointed threateningly at him. “I don't want you to make him apologize,” Lily shouted, rounding on James. “You're as bad as he is.” “What?” yelped James. “I'd NEVER call you a--you-know-what!” “Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you've just got off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid Snitch, walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can--I'm surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me SICK.” She turned on her heel and hurried away.

....

He had no desire at all to return to Gryffindor Tower so early, nor to tell Ron and Hermione what he had just seen. What was making Harry feel so horrified and unhappy was not being shouted at or having jars thrown at him; it was that he knew how it felt to be humiliated in the middle of a circle of onlookers, knew exactly how Snape had felt as his father had taunted him, and that judging from what he had just seen, his father had been every bit as arrogant as Snape had always told him. OotP, Snape’s Worst Memory, emphasis added

It’s interesting note that Harry fails to learn Occlumency from Snape. (In fact, we never see Harry use magical skills he learned from Snape apart from Expelliarmus, which is...important). At the same time, he gains an important perspective.

You can’t have James without this part of him. However kind James was to Lupin, however brave James was when he saved his wife, he was neither kind nor brave when he bullied Snape. It’s uncomfortable and awkward, but it’s important.

When he had finished, neither Sirius nor Lupin spoke for a moment. Then Lupin said quietly, “I wouldn’t like you to judge your father on what you saw there, Harry. He was only fifteen —”

“I’m fifteen!” said Harry heatedly.

OotP

Harry rejects the idea that actively bullying someone is just folly of youth. He knows what it’s like to be disenfranchised. Regardless of what Snape and James’ relationship was, he didn’t deserve that kind of humiliation. And Lupin watched, and defends him. Harry has to grapple with that.

Ultimately, Snape and Lupin do more than just connect him to his past. They also teach him his two signature spells, Expelliarmus and Expecto Patronum. One saves his soul, and one saves his life and frees the wizarding world from Voldemort because of Voldemort’s fractured soul.

Snape and Lupin as moral counterpoints

How do we evaluate this:

“I’d never have believed this,” Harry said. “The man who taught me to fight dementors--a coward.”*****5

DH 213, The Bribe

and this?

“Albus Severus, you were named for two headmasters of Hogwarts. One of them was a Slytherin and he was probably the bravest man I ever knew.

DH 758, Seventeen years later

Ultimately, I don’t think it’s really that useful to pit two people with different backgrounds against each other. At the same time, they represent two different halves of a question: when it comes down to it, should we try to be kind or brave? I don’t think you have to pick one, but when pursuing the two, there are bound to be moments of conflict.

I always come back to the lyrics to Last Midnight from Sondheim’s Into the Woods.******6

You're so nice You're not good You're not bad You're just nice I'm not good I'm not nice I'm just right I'm the witch You're the world

Snape doesn’t care about being nice. I think this is where most non-Snape fans start pulling out the pitchforks and torches. Snape isn’t nice, and he’s not nice to kids. He’s not nurturing.*******7 He’s abrasive, allergic to coddling, and petty when he can get away with it. In fact, most of the people he’s ‘nice’ to are significantly more powerful than him, or someone he needs to be on good terms with.

Lupin is nice. He’s mild. He’s often kind. However, he often picks being liked over standing up for something.

What does that result in? He doesn’t stand up for Snape. The bullying continues and keeps Snape firmly on his path. He wins the respect of the Gryffindors with the Snape Boggart incident but loses whatever credibility he had to tell Snape to ‘put their past behind him.’

On the other hand, Neville’s bravery in DH was nurtured by Lupin’s confidence. Neville kept hope alive and led a rebellion. Lupin is one of the few adults that Harry fully respects and trusts up until the Grimmauld place confrontation. (He likes Hagrid and Molly, but doesn’t necessarily trust them to make decisions in their best interest, while he usually respects Lupin’s judgement). Harry loves him, and it’s because he loved him and watched him die that he needs to act and fight back against Voldemort.

Ultimately, Harry’s relationship with James and the adults who pass on his legacy is one of the most important symbolic relationships in the book. The thematic resolution of the series is Harry’s act of sacrificial love.

He did not know what to feel, except shock at the way Snape had been killed, and the reason for which it had been done....

...He could not bear to look at any of the other bodies, to see who else had died for him. He could not bear to join the Weasleys, could not look into their eyes, when if he had given himself up in the first place, Fred might never had died...

He turned away and ran up the marble staircase. Lupin, Tongs...He yearned not to feel....He wished he could rip out his heart, his innards, everything that was screaming inside of him.

To escape into someone else’s head would be a blessed relief....Nothing that even Snape had left him could be worse than his own thoughts.

DH 660-662, The Prince’s Tale

He rushes to the headmaster’s office to escape into Snape's memories. His memories convince Harry that sacrificing himself is the expedient thing to do, and he heads to the Forbidden Forest. To enable is last sacrifice, he uses the Resurrection stone to witness his parents and his father’s friends. Their combined testimony is enough to ameliorate his personal fears about following through with this final act.

Lupin and Snape leave entirely different legacies behind. Lupin encourages and inspires. As an authority figure, he gives people like Neville space to grow and his compassion towards Harry gives him the strength to face his demons. Harry’s decision in DH to die must have something to do with the kindness he was shown, and the sacrifices people who loved him made for him, of which Lupin is a part. Despite what he saw in Princes’ Tale, Snape wasn’t one of the people who’d make an appearance with the Resurrection stone.

Yet Snape sacrificed his life for Harry and the wizarding world, entities that Snape didn’t seem to like and that certainly weren’t kind to him. His form of bravery is about endurance, tenacity, and willingness to do what is right even when you hate your allies and no one else is going to credit you for what you do. And that’s very Harry. Even if he hates Draco, he’s not about to let him die if he can help it. Harry has much more in common with Snape than Lupin, I think.

Since this is about souls, let’s return to the Patronus charm. Snape’s not the kind of person who typically inspires that kind of emotion required to cast a Patronus in others, at least from what we see in Harry’s perspective. Yet because he has experienced that love, he can cast it and shows Harry what needs to be done. Snape enables Harry to dive under the ice. Lupin’s the kind of person who can inspire a patronus, but isn’t the one to make the sacrifice play until after Harry confronts him about his duty to his family. Ultimately, though, they both sacrifice themselves in the Battle of Hogwarts.

* Ever since I realized how blatantly tangential Order of Merlin must be to Snape’s character motivation, that line has frustrated me to no end. There’s no way frothing-at-the-mouth PoA Snape just really coveted that Order of Merlin. He’s often petty, yeah, but if Lupin believes it’s just about that and has nothing to do with Snape’s real conviction about how dangerous Lupin’s actions were, he’s deluding himself. I hate that he passes it on to his students.

**Yes, I am making up words today. Lupin’s faces prejudice and discrimination on a social level enforced by increasingly powerful discriminatory laws.

*** It’s worth noting that if we take every book as equally valid canon, then there’s either widespread ignorance towards lycanthropy, as Lockhart convinces everyone he was able to “cure” the Wagga-Wagga werewolf, and as teenage Horcrux!Riddle said Hagrid raised werewolf cubs under his bed, or else lycanthropy is actually a wide range of conditions under a wolfy umbrella ranging from treatable to incurable. Lupin is our primary source for lycanthropy: he’s the one who tells us about Greyback, for example. If we hold the first two books as equally valid, then perhaps we only know about Lupin’s particular type of condition. That’s the Watsonian analysis, anyways.

****4 These footnotes are getting ridiculous. Basically, there’s no consensus on what Dark Magic is, and on what basis it’s Evil. This essay goes into things that are labelled as curses. I’m inclined to believe that the vast majority of Dark Magic is just Magic We Don’t Like for Reasons.

The definition of what is and isn't considered Dark Magic is never explained: often it just seems to mean "a curse I don't approve of". Even "curse" has never been satisfactorily defined, but we can certainly say that not all curses are regarded as evil, since some appear to be on the Hogwarts curriculum, and are certainly performed without censure.

*****5 While I paired the quotes at the top of this section together for dramatic effect, it’d be a shame not to look at the context of the Lupin fight.

“I thought you’d say [that your mission was top secret],” said Lupin, looking disappointed. But I might still be of some use to you. You know what I am and what I can do. I could come with you to provide protection. There would be no need to tell me exactly what you were up to. Harry hesitated. It was a very tempting offer.

Hermione then asks about Tonks.

“I’m pretty sure my father would have wanted to know why you aren’t sticking with your own kid, actually”... ...“I’d never have believed this,” Harry said. “The man who taught me to fight dementors--a coward.”

...“Parents shouldn’t leave their kids unless--unless they’ve got to.”

...“I know I shouldn’t have called him a coward.”“No, you shouldn’t,” said Ron at once. “But he’s acting like one. “ “All the same...” said Hermione.

“I know,” said Harry. “But if it makes him go back to Tonks, it’ll be worth it, won’t it?”

He could not keep the plea out of his voice. Hermione looked sympathetic, Ron uncertain. Harry looked down at his feet, thinking of his father. Would James have backed Harry in what he had said to Lupin, or would he have bene angry at how his son had treated his old friend?

DH 213, The Bribe

Harry feels personally betrayed that someone who has a family and child would abandon them. Here he is unyielding and accusing to someone he cares about in the hopes that they re-evaluate what matters. It’s a rather Snape-like tactic, actually. Or else a Dumbledore one.

I love the dialogue in this scene, but have some major issues with how Harry’s internalization drops out the window for shock value. JKR does the same thing when has Harry pull the Veritaserum trick in HBP. I don’t like it.

******6 The witch and Snape aren’t perfect analogues, since she’s decidedly more amoral in my opinion, but they’re both contractually-motivated characters whose humanity is shown by their (platonic/familial) love for a more “innocent” character and the guilt at the innocent character’s sacrificial death. Guilt doesn’t lead the witch to do anything productive, and for Snape it does, which is where they diverge on the character path.

*******7 Draco may be an exception to this. However, watching Snape struggle to build rapport with Draco in HBP leads me to think that while Snape’s been on Draco’s side, he’s still not “nurturing,” or in other words, good at cultivating trust and encouraging the strong and wholesome parts of someone’s personality to grow.

#hp meta #snape #pro snape #severus snape #remus lupin #i haven't figured out how to make this appear above the cut...

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thedreadvampy · 4 years ago

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Like idk what you want from me here. If you want to engage me in a specific question about ace/aro identities, as I've said several times and nobody has ever actually done, then ask me the specific question. Don't fuck around with vague gestures at Points of Discourse and then get cross with me because I haven't answered the Exact Question you Didn't Ask But Expected Me To Intuit.

Preface: If you don't want to answer any of these because you are allo/allo and don't have a say because its not your place, say that. In fact, I'm asking these because you seem to do have opinions on things you shouldn't based off things you have said in the past.

I also want to state that I agree fully with your points about Martin- minus the blatant aphobia. Not just acephobia, arophobia as well.

1. Do you think qprs are problematic? I believe you once made a post saying roughly that qprs are just normal friendships, or something like that, that has since been deleted. What is your current opinion?

2. Are het aros lgbt?

3. Are het aces lgbt?

4. Cis aro/aces lgbt?

5. Cishet aro/aces?

6. Do the spectrums and micro identities exist? You've implied in the past they don't, in the post about how they were supposedly created from sex positivity

7. Can aros be in or desire romantic relationships?

8. Can aces have or desire sex?

9. Does the split attraction model exist and does it benefit people?

10. Can teenagers identify as aro/ace or do you think they're too young?

11. Can you be, say, an aroace lesbian, or an aroace gay, aroace bi, etc. Idk how to phrase this one but like can you be aroace and still id with another orientation?

I could send another anon detailing the aphobia in the post, because I at least am certainly not upset about Martin being sexual, rather it was the very blatant aphobia. It could have stemmed from ignorance, and if that's the case I don't mind explaining it.

Ok this is a lot of questions, some with quite involved answers, so I'm gonna answer them chunk by chunk so it's a bit more manageable, and then I might come back to some of the surrounding message. This isn't gonna be an immediate bang bang bang, but I'll try and work through them over the next couple of days.

Question 1

1. No, I don't think qprs are problematic. I don't necessarily understand them but I don't need to understand them to understand and respect that they're a thing that's important to a lot of people. I don't know what post you're referring to, but I'm surprised that you say it was deleted, because I very rarely delete posts except, occasionally, reblogs where people have flagged up misinformation or dogwhistles or which I reblogged by accident. tbh I'm the messiest online presence I'm way too lazy to delete past posts or block people even when I probably should bc I don't like to feel like I'm ~hiding evidence~. So I'm not saying you're wrong, you're probably totally right, but I'm surprised.

I'm thinking about what posts I've made that you could be thinking of, and obviously I don't remember everything I say on here bc I say A Lot and I actively post to get things out of my head so 🤷‍♀️ but I do remember making a post a while ago where I said that it was a normal expectation of friendship to have some friends close enough that you'll live with them, raise kids with them, etc, and I'm wondering if that was the post you're thinking of? I did have qprs in mind while writing that to a degree, but only because I think 'you wouldn't do this with your friends' is a very common argument people put forward about qprs and I think it's a weak argument, because many people have different definitions of friendship, and the only argument I think is needed for any sort of I Have X Emotional Relationship To This Thing is...I Have X Emotional Relationship To This Thing. Like you can't offer a universal materialist definition of the differences between romantic, queerplatonic, sexual and platonic relationships, because the boundaries are very personal and it's really an emotional and experiential difference. so if that is the post you're thinking of, I wasn't criticising The Concept Of QPRs as much as saying that I thought trying to put hard lines around What Friends Do Vs What QPPs Do was a) counterproductive when arguing with someone who thinks QPR is Just Normal Friendships bc. if they do those things with their friends then saying NO THIS IS A QPR THING just reinforces their existing belief that you're talking about the same thing as they mean by friendships and b) to me seems to set a painful expectation to young people that you can only get these kinds of close friendships occasionally and in the form of a QPR and it will be stigmatised and misunderstood (and depending on how people talk about it, is only accessible to aspec people and allo people should only expect it to come through romantic/sexual relationships), when in fact most people of most ages I know have friends with whom they can share things like housing, deep feelings, futures, finances, who they miss if they don't see for a few days, who are mutually supportive and vital to their wellbeing. I don't think that's mutually exclusive with the existence of QPRs though - like I personally don't know what the difference is between a QPR and a close friendship, but I also don't know what the difference is between a romantic relationship and a close friendship but I know there is one and I know it's not a question of What You Do but a question of How You Feel And Interact, and that's pretty hard to define in unambiguous terms.

Like generally I don't Not Think QPRs exist, and I think it's a dick move to try and tell people they're wrong about how they experience and define their relationships because???? how are you meant to know that better than the person whose relationship it is??? but I do think the way people talk about QPRs (both from the perspective of defending them and from the perspective of attacking them) is pretty rife with problems and I don't think it's invalidating the reality of QPRs to talk about where the arguments and language around them potentially falls down or has unexpected consequences.

On the other hand, I don't know if that actually is the post you're referring to - the reason I'm calling back to that is that that and a few resultant asks are the only time I remember talking about QPRs on here in the last year or so. So like, several of these questions reference past posts, which is very fair, but I do need it to be clear that, since I don't really tag anything and I don't have a great memory, I can only really speak to What I Think Now In This Context, not to what I posted in the past and what I was thinking when I posted it. Like, this isn't too deny responsibility - I reckon I'm responsible for what I post even if I don't still agree with it, which is why I don't tend to delete my own posts on purpose - but just to deny capacity, I guess? I don't really KNOW what I've posted so if you talk about it in vague terms (and I do understand that if it's been deleted there's not a lot you can do but that) I may not necessarily be responding to the part of it that's worried you, so if I'm not speaking to something specific I've said or done, it's not because I Don't Want To, I just don't necessarily know to.

I'm waffling about this because looking through your messages there's a lot of "you said X" and like. given that the intended message of the post that's kicked this off was very different to the message people have taken from it, it feels important to me to know whether if I looked at the posts you're referencing I'd be like "ah yeah I did believe that but now I believe X" or if it's more a situation of "oh right I can see how you took X from that but my thinking was more Y".

(also sometimes when people say "you made a post" they mean "you reblogged a post" and I am a compulsive discourse scroller so sometimes I reblog a random post to bookmark my place on someone's discourse blog or I accidentally longpress the reblog button while scrolling - I try to delete reblogs that I don't agree with but sometimes I miss some, all of which to say if there's a post on my blog that doesn't seem to reflect what I say in my original posts then it doesn't necessarily mean I'm a crypto-whatever so much as I'm very lazy and messy with my blog. Doesn't mean I shouldn't be held accountable for reblogs but it's useful to know if we're talking original content or reblogs bc I'm unlikely to fully accidentally make a post. but I quite often accidentally reblog stuff. I doubt this is the case with this sitch just bc of your phrasing but I want to cover my bases)

anyway tl;dr: no I don't believe that QPRs themselves are inherently problematic, nor do I think I have at any point believed that, but I do think that a lot of the language and ideas used to talk about them are based in miscommunication or absolutist ideas about relationships and can have damaging knock on effects.

#i recognise that your past ask implied that it was somehow evasive to answer in long form #so sorry but this is gonna get loooong #but I'd rather be long and honest than say something snappy and absolutist that doesn't reflect what i actually think #so yeah this is gonna go ooooooooooon

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