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myun-saidthoughts · 9 months

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Understanding 12th House Synastry

(*updated* and more accurate post about about 12th house synastry overlays along with Neptune synastry that makes harsh aspects to another's inner planets such as the Sun, Moon, rising, Venus or Mars)

This post focuses exclusively on a 12th house relationship between two kind and evolved individuals. While there are other darker themes associated with 12th house synastry — such as deception, substance abuse, hidden affairs (like being the other woman or mistress), lies about one partner’s true nature, or fear that one partner is withholding information or their true self — I won’t be discussing those here. I might explore those themes in a future post, as they are important to note, but for now, my main focus will not include those themes.

“Though I barely know you, it feels as if I do. Your eyes and body language seem to speak your thoughts, even the ones I can’t fully grasp. There’s no visible thread connecting us, yet this feeling remains.” — Planet Person

There are two sides of 12th house synastry that I commonly see. The spectrum is different compared to the 8th house because with the 8th house, there are highs and lows, obvious extremes, there's oftentimes constant lessons, cycles and loops, but with the 12th house, there's a different undertone.

The 12th house is a very unforeseen house, when it comes with synastry, the spectrum of love that can be received and given is unfathomable. I am going to first discuss what this energy is like when someone deals with this type of synastry while having Neptune (especially harshly) aspecting your inner planets/12th house placements/Pisces placements; then I will go in-depth for how they would feel without those placements.

(that being said my main discussion deals with the foundation of both individuals having attraction or interest on both ends, as well as other intense synastry overlays such as harsh or soft attraction synastry aspects, + eros, lilith, chiron, pluto, or 8th house synastry)

As a 12th house native or with heavy Pisces influence (e.g., a Pisces Venus, Sun, Moon, rising, or with a natal Neptune squaring, opposing or conjunct the Sun, Moon, rising, Venus) this type of synastry is confusing, it's blurry and parts of you can second guess almost everything about them, what you are to them, what they are to you etc. There are no tangible boundaries when it comes to the emotional depth you are willing to feel for them. On some days you can find yourself wondering where you stand with them, you fixate on their energy, and you'll wonder if they're thinking of you. You look into their eyes and just feel their mental health struggles, their fears, their hidden thoughts, what they need to hear to feel seen past the 3D. You're like a walking and breathing affirmation audio tape of everything their subconscious always wished to of heard throughout life. That one broken image or belief they have within their subconscious self is the one thing you can't help but compliment them on, the feelings they ignore, suppress or hide away are the feelings you want to naturally reassure them about. It's like you become this real life 3D fixer upper for this individual, and you just can't help but be drawn with saving, helping, or fixing them. (undoubtedly so if you also fall in their 2nd house, especially your inner planets, if there is no 2nd house influence then the compliments/praising will be less intense or frequent)

The beginning of this synastry embodies confusion. Since there's no real tangible statement or understanding you can hold onto. You'll just know how they operate before ever really knowing them.

You'll just want to make sure that they are okay, and that can come in many different ways, you yourself will just know. You can turn into this savior that they never knew they needed, you'll just want to give and love everything out of them; and in some cases receiving or having that mutual give and take may be something you think you don't need, especially when it comes to them, and especially if you have a natal 12th House Venus or a Pisces Venus/a Natal Venus that squares, conjuncts or opposes Neptune (this can apply to the Moon as well).

If the above scenario resonates with you, then this individual is provoking a wound within yourself that deals with the acceptance of receiving authentic love. This innate need to only give highlights your own fear of receiving real reciprocal, stable, tangible love.

Therefore if you want to save, fix, heal or give, this desire only highlights that fearful nature within you where you allow to stay in shallow waters. You subconsciously know that you have such passionate love to give, but that thought of giving to someone who in turn might be willing to give back evokes fear and uncertainty within you.

This subconscious block holds more comfortability within you since it allows you to never accept a love where your soul will fully be fulfilled. It's self sabotaging and self written, you naturally already know how the story will end between you two, and so you subconsciously will find a character who perfectly embodies the story you yourself say you try to run from.

To reiterate; if you share the above placements you instantly can become drawn towards the house person. You will look at them and see every facet of their being, their hidden pain, their sorrows, why they feel the way they do, why they struggle the way they struggle, their mental health dilemmas, their soul; especially so if you as well have a water Moon that harshly aspects Neptune as well as the above listed placements. But these feelings don't persist automatically or openly, the desires the planet person or the one person who has the placements I listed/spiritual enlightenment + attraction towards the house person (or the other person) stays at bay and stays being unsaid, especially in the beginning. The planet person with these placements etc etc, can hold onto constant dilemmas and wonder if what they are feeling is real, if what they desire is one sided, especially if there is little to no communication between the dynamic.

On the other side of the spectrum, this bond (when wanted on both ends) can create a soul binding connection where the house person would feel like no one else can ever understand them the way the planet person can. No one else would be able to read them like the book they secretly are, no one else can look into their eyes and bring solace into their bones, which in-turn can cause the dynamic between them to consistently become something that is impossible to let go of.

With attraction + desire the house person may feel like a hug from the planet person* (or vice versa) is equivalent to receiving a sense of understanding and safety that they weren't aware they ever needed. The house person may just find themselves fully being able to lay and hold onto the planet person* and there's this unsaid desire just be next to them. The planet person* may instinctively feel this pull or knowing that there is a softer more serene side of the house person that not everyone see's and even though there's no tangible words to hold onto, that feeling within them doesn't dissipate. Just with one hug from the house person and the planet person* will know that there's a soft and quiet side inside them that they hide or suppress away.

* = placements I listed + spiritually understanding/enlighted

The house person will ask themselves: How do I let go of the one soul who speaks to the parts of myself that I don't even know? The intensity of the bond can vary based on each others natal placements, but I do believe the connection can become deep and unworldly even without the placements I've listed since attraction and desire are two KEY factors that would override any natal placement. Instant psychic understanding about one another on both ends (regardless of natal placements) can occur, you both will know what the other person is thinking, feeling, and needing. If there is genuine desire for one another then the depth of care can become very ethereal and unspoken, especially if the Moon or Venus are involved; if attraction is present and you have the placements I mentioned, a part of you will just want to hold onto the house person. You'll just want to comfort and be present in the moment with them. All that matters to you is that they are doing and feeling okay, with them this part of you unlocks where you just want to caress their soul. But like I said natal placements do have an immense influence, one individual could feel this pull and understanding (w/o the placements I mentioned) but the depth and length for caring may not run as deep as someone else who has the natal placements I listed. They will still care in some shape or form in ways they never knew was possible; but the turnover of moving on or of minimizing selfless acts can become more shallow and less frequent throughout time.

When wanted on both ends with genuine care and desire the song Run To You by Lea Michele perfectly depicts this type of deep care.

Now this type of synastry can also begin the influence of delusion or false presumptions. Genuineness and self awareness is key, not everyone will desire such depth of the unknown especially if they themselves have no set understanding of their own subconscious beliefs.

To reiterate, if this is one sided therefore if they don't share attraction or desire for you; then this type of behavior will feel invasive and they may become confused or unsure with what to do with that type of depth that your eyes can bring them, if they are unaware of their own shadow self, along with not wanting to change or be spiritually awoken, this type of connection can be daunting and misleading in some way for them.

Now lets go deeper: for someone who doesn't have any 12th house Venus, Pisces Venus, Neptune influence (or if you have little to no attraction or interest towards them), or low spiritual awareness/acknowledgement of your own mental health struggles/hidden fears and if someone comes in to your life where they fall in your 12th house, the feelings that acclimate mainly are confusion, resistance or hesitation. You might have some hidden curiosity about the planet person but generally the curiosity can be the furthest you go with this individual. There might be some hidden tension or eye glances towards another but with it there is also a barrier between the two of you. You may feel like you know their body language or what their eye glances mean but you more than likely brush it off and set aside any spiritual coincidences that you have with them. You may also wither back and forth between being more inclined to getting to know them to being unsure with your interest in them or there's a sense of unpreparedness you may struggle with when it comes to this individual. A part of you may feel like their type of love can sooth parts of you that you ignore or mentally struggle with but that type of care can feel unneeded and can bring in fear; since there is a unspoken knowing of what they are able to truly view and feel for you if they were your partner. You may ask yourself, "Can this person fix, and heal me? " "Do I really need to be saved?" "Is this all in my head?" "Can they be the pacifier for the pain I can't even openly express; or will they bring me more sorrow?"

(this dilemma of curiosity is more apparent if you share other direct intense synastry aspects such as 8th/pluto/intense attraction aspects especially with eros or lilith etc)

Another strong note I wanted to state is how often times with 12th house and Neptune synastry; the reason why this is the house of "hidden enemies" or there's horror stories where one partner hid addiction, lies, another woman or their true agenda towards the other partner is because this type of synastry can genuinely cloud judgment and hinder honest communication. There is often hidden uncertainty or a lack of awareness of what is really going on, primarily because this dynamic makes it easy to fall "victim" to a false persona. This happens when you're unaware of your own wounds, patterns of self-undoing, or fears surrounding with receiving reciprocal love. While I'm not going too in-depth with these themes—since, in my opinion, they deserve their own post—I want to reiterate the importance of staying grounded, aware, and avoiding getting lost in illusions or overthinking about someone who you know won't (or can't) change.

That being said, if there is a connection where one person has these natal placements and desires for the other individual but the other partner doesn't share the same attraction/placements; then that is when unrequited love or unspoken love can occur. To summarize, for 12th house and neptune synastry to be mutual even if the other partner doesn't have those natal placements, there has to be attraction or desire; whether it be physical, or emotional. Someone could have these placements that I've listed but if there is no want, attraction or desire towards the other person; the dynamic can also become one sided on their end even with the placements and tendencies of being drawn towards connections that share 12th/neptune/pisces influence.

12th house synastry is the house of selflessness, this is the house of giving and giving to no end; since in one essence this house holds no end or beginning, therefore the boundaries and understanding that this house can carry is unknown. Each dynamic with 12th house synastry can be complexed, there are many factors that play a role in influencing this type of connection such as your natal placements, their natal placements, your natal aspects, their natal aspects, you desire and attraction and their desire and attraction and so on. Someone could sit in this confused and undesired energy for the other person for months and have all the placements I've listed. Therefore if that said individual is not prepared or have any desires to hold a connection that is deep and unspoken, they themselves (the planet person or the person who has 12th house/neptune/pisces influence) may even still feel fear or invasiveness towards the other individual that their share 12th house synastry with or vice versa; there are so many avenues and routes these connections can take, at least that's from my own astrological understanding and take on these type of connections.

Side Note: To balance the intensity these synastry aspects/overlays bring, taking on the opposite houses themes would bring more ease and create less intensity.

For example, dealing with 12H (Even Neptune) synastry, the opposite house is the 6H, the house of routine, daily life, mundane affairs, healthcare, helping others/giving etc etc. So to ease this type of fixation this synastry can cause, focus and enhance your own skills when it comes to your physical/mental health. Add more day to day to activities that solely focuses on changing your routine; however big or small. That will ease the fixation that 12H and Neptune synastry brings. This synastry can cause you to daydream or obsess over them, and since you may have this innate need to be their savior that wants to try and fix their wounds, the chance of putting yourself in situations where your priority is solely them is very likely. You could also fantasize and have an escapist attitude with them, (or the idea of them) therefore, they can serve as an escape for you; by focusing on their pain and struggles might cause you to forget about your own mental health challenges. You also might repeat scenarios in your head or fantasize about situations happening; especially since you might feel confused/hazy with where you stand with them, therefore keeping yourself busy is key with this synastry, and that will create more control within you.

P.S

This is all from my own interpretation of 12th house synastry, I would confidently say I am a very very introspective person at heart, I read between the lines constantly and overly fixate on behavior etc and this synastry still clouded my own judgment and understanding for years; it brought in tendencies for me to doubt my true feelings and curiosity, only until I more so let go of the relationship that I am referencing (the boy where I have 8th house synastry with) was the only time I was able to fully look outside my situation with him when it came to my actions and feelings. The constant back and fourth dilemma I struggled with when it came to knowing him and who he was was constant yet truly instant. My soul knew him before my brain did and because of that knowing I was unsure and unconfident with the type of feelings that persisted in the dynamic I shared with him. I have made so many posts about 12th house synastry but I can confidently say that this current post is now the most accurate representation of what can occur between these relationships.

Hope this brings some clarity and understanding for others who have dealt with 12th house and Neptune synastry; if not disregard and again this type of synastry is truly nuanced and multifaceted.

If this resonates with you I have an eBook that perfectly depicts and explains if you are in a karmic relationship. It's about 8th/12th/Pluto/Neptune/Saturn/Vertex/Nodal synastry. I give insights, exact transits, exact synastry overlays, natal chart interpretations and more advice on what to do in these situations. More information is pinned on my page.

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lotusflowerbreakingthesurface · 1 month

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PingXie Moments Compilation

𝐇𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲 𝟖𝟏𝟕 𝐃𝐚𝐨𝐦𝐢 𝐅𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐥!! 🎉

On this special day, let's reminisce about PingXie moments in the book∼ Fanfictions are indeed tasty, but the canon moments are also delicious, right? (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)

Truthfully, I planned to compile all of them in one post, but I realized that there are too many PingXie moments, I'm afraid if I post them all, I will become a PingXie Bot, thus I picked some moments (and some jokes) that I thought were quite memorable and interesting. It's only 40 moments, it doesn't follow the timeline, perhaps only 80% of them.

Warning: Spoilers! Very long post! CP-oriented post! It's a compilation of PingXie moments in the book, naturally, there are spoilers. I added a little notes/meta/comments/related interviews as supplementary files. And I'm not an expert in the Chinese language (as you already know, I use mtl) so I put the source below, just in case you want to check the Chinese raw or other translations yourself. I apologize in advance if there is any mistake m(_ _)m

(Since there is a limit to insert images, I went with quoting them.)

Sources: Chinese Raw | MereBear's Translation | 瓶邪bot

1. Daomu Biji Vol. 1: Seven Star Lu Palace Chapter 2

As I was talking, I saw a young man walking out of the front door with a long thing on his back that was tightly wrapped in cloth. I knew at first glance that it was an ancient weapon. This thing was indeed very valuable, and if it sold well, the price could go for more than ten times its worth.

Note: In the book, it was their first meeting. But in an old Daomu Biji mobile game, NPSS added this line (it seems that he forgot about it later though):

“The first meeting with Zhang Qiling was not downstairs of Uncle Three's house, but at Wu Xie's full-month celebration, but they both forgot it.” ☆

2. Daomu Biji Vol. 4: Snake Marsh Ghost City (Part II) Chapter 18 | Chapter 47 (MereBear)

He continued, "I am a person without a past and a future. All I do is to find find my connection with this world. Where did I come from and why am I here?" He looked at his hands and said calmly, "Can you imagine that if someone like me disappears from this world, no one will find out, as if I have never existed in this world, without leaving any trace? Sometimes when I look in the mirror, I often doubt whether I really exist or am just a phantom of a person."

I was speechless and thought for a while before saying, "It's not as exaggerated as you say. If you disappear, at least I will find out."

3. Daomu Biji Vol. 6: Ancient Building Under the Dark Mountain Chapter 39

Pangzi gestured for me to ask Men You Ping. I looked at him and heard him say, "About five hours ago, you appeared where you are now, in a deep coma, barely conscious. We gave you a simple first aid, and then five hours later, you woke up."

I waited for Men You Ping to continue speaking, but he shut up.

"That’s it?" I asked in surprise.

"That’s it." He said in a muffled voice.

[....]

Pangzi nodded and said, "Xiaoge and I have been in another cave, which is relatively dry, but I will come here to get water every once in a while. When I found that there was suddenly another person in the cave, I was scared to death, but I recognized you immediately, called Xiaoge, and rescued you together. You were already dead, so if you really need to find someone to save your life, I, Pangye, was still qualified to make a guest appearance. Later, we were afraid that you might have broken bones, so we didn't dare to move and just waited here for you to wake up."

Note: Xiaoge gives Wu Xie mouth-to-mouth resuscitation here. Someone analyzed it and NPSS confirmed it. Here is the analysis:

“If you want to perform CPR on a person who is not breathing without moving the body, the most basic and important thing is artificial respiration. Judging from Pangzi's tone, the whole rescue process was completed by him and Men You Ping. But there is a key word here: "guest appearance". Pangzi did not play the main role in the rescue process. So who played this main role? I think everyone should understand.” ☆

4. Daomu Biji Vol. 6: Ancient Building Under the Dark Mountain Chapter 49

He leaned against the stone wall behind him and said calmly: "He and I can't leave."

"What nonsense are you talking about?" I cursed.

He suddenly smiled at me and said: "Fortunately, I didn't kill you..."

I was stunned. He spat out a mouthful of blood.

"You--" My head buzzed.

He still smiled at me, his head slowly lowered, and sat there, as if he was just taking a rest. However, the surroundings were completely silent.

Note: There once was a typo in the first draft, but it was edited later.

Edited version: “还好，我没有害死你……”

Unedited version: “一汀烟雨杏花寒好，还好，我没有害死你......”

“一汀烟雨杏花寒” comes from an ancient poem “戴叔伦：燕子不归春事晚，一汀烟雨杏花寒”, it describes the scenery of late spring and expresses the feelings of melancholy and separation. ☆

5. Daomu Biji Vol. 7: Stone Shadow in Qiong Cave Chapter 18

Men You Ping did not answer her. Instead, he turned to me and said, "Take me home." Then he walked out without looking back.

6. Daomu Biji Vol 8: The Finale Book 2 Chapter 3 | Part 2 Chapter 54 (MereBear)

I was stunned for a moment, and then froze. At that moment, my mind became blank.

I couldn’t describe the emptiness in my heart. I suddenly didn’t know what I should do.

Dead? You’ve got to be kidding me.

Is he really dead? Hey, what kind of international joke is this?

"Wake up. Let's go home." I patted his face, suddenly finding it all very funny. I turned to Pangzi and laughed. "Look at Xiaoge."

"I know." Pangzi said on the side, his voice was very low.

Then, my hands began to tremble uncontrollably. I looked at my hands and found that there was no sadness in my heart. My consciousness did not react, but my body instinctively felt despair.

I thought to myself, he’s really fucking sitting there, he’s really fucking dead. Men You Ping is really fucking dead!

There were actually such things in this world, and Men You Ping could actually die.

[....]

My instincts were collapsing under the pressure, but all kinds of uncomfortable feelings were still leaking out of the "pressure cooker" of emotions. I felt that I couldn't let my emotions run wild, because if I got sad, I might die here. I feel very strange in my heart, not just sad. I don’t know if others can understand my complicated feelings. First there was despair, then more of a distrust of what I saw. My mind went blank for a long time before all the emotions in my heart came to the surface.

I have always wondered how I would feel if Men You Ping died. I thought that maybe I was extremely sad, or maybe I had thought about it too much and done too much mental preparation, so I became numb and felt that I could totally bear it. Now that it has really happened, it has turned into a strange mood that I can’t even deal with.

After that, I was in a dilemma, not knowing whether I should be sad or pretend to be calm and endure the pain. In the end, the former gradually prevailed. I did nothing beside his body, just stared blankly.

But just when I felt that tears were about to fall, I suddenly saw Men You Ping's hand move and scratch the floor!

Comment: I feel like "Wake up. Let's go home." is the answer to Xiaoge's "Take me home." in the previous moment, don't you think so? And here is the description of Wu Xie's feelings when he thought that Xiaoge died. It's quite long and depressing... T_T

7. Daomu Biji Vol. 8: The Finale Book 2 Chapter 25 | Part 2 Chapter 76 (MereBear)

"I came to say goodbye to you." He said, "It's all over. I thought about my connection with this world, and it seems that the only one I can find now is you."

Comment: Is this the kind of connection that Xiaoge was looking for in Daomu Biji Vol. 4?

Note: In the Live Broadcast Interview on June 11, 2021, there was a question about what "嫩牛五方" Nenniu Wufang (Iron Triangle + HeiHua) think of Wu Xie, and this is Xiaoge's part:

NPSS: For Zhang Qiling, Wu Xie is his only connection with the human world. He can live without any connection with the human world. After so many years, Wu Xie was the opportunity that made him willing to connect with the human world, which was also something that required courage for him, because connecting with Wu Xie means connecting with other people. At the beginning, Wu Xie was just one of the many people he had saved, but Wu Xie reached a state of transcendence through his own qualities. He was able to attract another person who was not a mortal. There is such a person, when you look him in the eye, you will have this feeling-

Host: This is that person, this is the person I am looking for.

NPSS: Yes. ☆

8. Daomu Biji Vol. 8: The Finale Book 2 Chapter 27 | Part 2 Chapter 78 (MereBear)

That night, we found a relatively dry place and lit a fire. Sitting in front of the fire, he silently looked at me for the first time.

I also stared at him for a long time. Since he kept looking at me like this, I began to wonder whether the focus of his gaze was actually on me. When I found that he was really looking at me, however, I felt very strange. I said, "Is something wrong with me? Is there a monster behind me?" I asked him several times, but he didn't respond. I thought this person was not very normal at ordinary times. Now in this situation, I definitely couldn't understand and didn't need to understand. But after a while, he suddenly asked me for a cigarette.

9. Daomu Biji Vol. 8: The Finale Book 2 Chapter 28 | Part 2 Chapter 79 (MereBear)

I screamed as I rolled all the way down the hillside. I knew it was a very steep cliff with a drop of at least thirty meters, so even if there was snow below, I would never be safe.

[....]

Just when I was about to despair, I suddenly heard a movement outside. Then, my flailing hands were grabbed by someone, and I was pulled out of the snow pit. I gasped for breath, and saw Men You Ping grabbed the back of my collar and pulled me out of the snow with force.

My eyes still saw a pink color, which was quite blurry. I looked at him, and I was so angry that I asked him: "Why did you come back again?"

He looked at me, then at the cliff above his head, and said to me, "I heard your cry for help."

Note: This is one of the famous PingXie moments, which later someone brought up this scene again in the comment section of the online version of Sand Sea 3 Chapter 5 (Chapter 116 on MereBear's site: Like a Red Bean in the Exquisite Dice, My Love for You is Deep in My Bones) in 2014. Here is the famous comment that is still circulating around in the DMBJ fandom:

“The moment I fell, holding my neck, I thought I couldn't speak anymore. The sky of Motuo was still empty, just like the Changbai Mountain. But this time, no one would jump down thirty meters to pull me up. I asked him why he came, and he said he heard my voice.” ☆

However, people still doubt where this quote actually comes from. As someone said, what I've mentioned before is the most likely source since it is the earliest one that can be found. The site was closed down, so I can't check it myself.

10. Daomu Biji Vol. 8: The Finale Book 2 Chapter 28 | Part 2 Chapter 79 (MereBear)

"That’s fine, do whatever you want. If you really knock me out, I have nothing to say, but I hope you know that if you need someone to accompany you to the end, I won’t refuse." I said, "I want to accompany you. This is my own decision, so don't worry about it."

Top comment: One is a confession that travels thousands of miles away, and the other is a stumbling pursuit. ☆

11. Daomu Biji Vol. 8: The Finale Book 2 Chapter 29 | Part 2 Chapter 80 (MereBear)

Men You Ping nodded, and I asked him: "If this is not the case, according to the promise, who should be the next in line for the Old Nine Gates?"

"You." Men You Ping said.

Me? I was stunned for a moment: "You mean, I was supposed to stay behind this bronze door for ten years?"

Men You Ping nodded, and just as I was about to ask him to clarify, Men You Ping suddenly reached out and pressed the back of my neck, and I lost consciousness."

12. Excerpt from 《与邪共予起灵书》 or see more here

I saw Menyouping standing in the dazzling light of the bronze door, as if waiting for me. It turns out that not everyone has left me. He is right here, behind this mysterious bronze door, looking forward to meeting me again just like me. Ten years, it sounds like a long time that cannot be passed, but when that moment comes, we will definitely feel the brevity of time. Its brevity may just be because you are looking forward to a reunion. You use your ten years to exchange my lifelong innocence, then I will use the next ten years and more ten years to exchange your ten years.

The passage above is related to the famous quote “用我一生换你十年的天真无邪” (I'll give you my whole life in exchange for your ten years of innocence).

According to this post, this sentence first appeared in a forum interview in 2010. When NPSS talked with readers about the final ending of the characters in the main story (Daomu Biji Vol. 1-8), he used the sentence "用自己的一生，再换你十年的天真无邪" (I'll give you my whole life in exchange for another ten years of your innocence) to summarize the ending of Zhang Qiling and Wu Xie in the main story.

NPSS's interview with Nangong Ling, the owner of PingXie Bar on Baidu Post Bar or Tieba (a popular Chinese forum) at that time: The Long-Delayed New Year Interview on March 11, 2010 ☆

Q: Is Wu Xie the most miserable person in the whole book? Is it true that one of him and Pingzi (Xiaoge) will die in the end?

A: Wu Xie is the most miserable, his life is a doomed tragedy, but Lao Zhang is not easy either.

Q: Then?

A: It delayed the occurrence of the whole tragedy.

Q: Then they suffered a tragedy together?

A: I use my life to exchange for your ten years of innocence.

And there is a follow-up. On November 1, 2011, NPSS participated in a symposium at Shenzhen University and interpreted the meaning of this sentence. ☆

Q: How do you understand "用我一生换你十年天真无邪" (I will give you my whole life for your ten years of innocence)?

A: On a very quiet night, I was sitting in front of my computer, chatting with an online friend who was my reader. She asked me if I could describe the whole story in one sentence. Then I thought about it and realized that the story could be described in one sentence: "用我一生换你十年的天真无邪" (I will give you my whole life for your ten years of innocence). It is not a very equal exchange. It is an infinite sacrifice of one person for another in exchange for a limited benefit.

13. Tibetan Sea Flower Part 1 Chapter 39

I said, "I don't know. I always feel that it's safer to be around Xiaoge. If he's not around, at least having his statue is better than having no statue at all."

14. Sand Sea 2 Chapter 53 | Chapter 92 (MereBear)

"Are you really willing to bear it?"

"I have no choice."

"You have a choice, you just can't see it."

"That means there is no choice."

Sigh

"Then will you tell him all this?"

"No."

"Then what will you tell him?"

"I will tell him that he is just a patient, and from now on, he can rest."

"They won't let you say these words."

"I won't allow them to stop me."

15. Sand Sea Part 3 Chapter 5 | Chapter 116 (MereBear)

玲珑骰子安红豆，入骨相思知不知

A dainty die with red beans engraved in it, don't you know, is a love yearning that penetrates to the bone?

(—Rediscovering Wen Tingyun by Mou, Huaichuan)

Note: As we know, this candy is only a title, but it has a deep meaning. “玲珑骰子安红豆，入骨相思知不知” is a passage from a poem by Tang Dynasty poet, Wen Tingyun (温庭筠), it's the second poem of two love poems in his collection of poems 《新添声杨柳枝词二首》/《南歌子词二首》.

井底点灯深烛伊，共郎长行莫围棋

玲珑骰子安红豆，入骨相思知不知

The poem is written in the voice of a woman, expressing her attachment to her lover, in the first line, it means she earnestly asked her husband not to miss the return date when he travelled far away. It is the woman's deep longing for her husband and the strong love she has for him that is hard to let go. The second line means the lovesickness that goes deep into the bones, revealing -once again- the woman's strong love that is hard to let go. And the words "Don’t you know?" (知不知) vividly expresses the woman's long separation, the difficulty of reunion, the deep pain of missing him, and even the fact that she wants to talk to no one. It can be said that the ending is natural and the aftertaste is endless. What the readers feel is the sincere and passionate love in the woman's heart —Baidu Encyclopedia

Since there is no way for me, a complete novice, to explain it through semantic and syntactic analysis, please visit here or here for more explanation.

In WeChat interview on August 6, 2013, NPSS said the reason why he chose that title:

Q: Sanshu, I would like to ask you, in Sand Sea series, when Wu Xie was slashed in the throat by the man in white, why was the chapter titled "玲珑骰子安红豆，入骨相思知不知"?

A: I chose that chapter title because that was the emotion I felt at the time. ☆

16. 2014 Chinese New Year Special "Fantasy" Chapter 27 (Epilogue) | Chapter 2.31 (MereBear)

When the sun absorbed the fog and dispersed it, the black fog completely dissipated. I turned my head to see where Men You Ping was, but saw the sunset shining in from the window next to me.

It was over, I was stunned for a moment and realized.

I was back in the small power station.

My hands and feet slowly revived, and the severe pain in my nasal cavity began to attack. The throat was full of the smell of blood, and all the blood turned into a paste in my throat.

In all the moments of coming back, I always felt a very sad emotion in my heart, which would make me silent for a moment.

Don't make the illusion too beautiful because it will eventually disappear. You think you have obtained and grasped it, but in fact there is nothing. This kind of memory is no different from my real memory. People themselves cannot really own anything.

17. Ten Years Chapter 31

This was written for me, he knew I would fulfill my promise. He hid the clue in Chen Pi Ah Si's nose, which really gave me face.

I clenched my fists, and a sense of security that I hadn't felt for many years suddenly rose from the bottom of my heart.

Note: The bolded sentence is an additional sentence in the physical book of Ten Years.

18. Ten Years Chapter 36

In the past ten years, I have had many dreams. I dreamed of him when he was young and I met him when I was young.

19. Ten Years Physical Book

"Not only that, if you can truly believe that you can do this, you can do anything." The voice in my heart answered me, "But, believing in yourself may be the most difficult thing in the world."

"What's so difficult about believing in yourself?" I asked.

"Just like you can't believe that you can walk on the water, only a very few people can truly believe in themselves." The voice in my heart answered me, "You can't even believe that you really entered here and heard these words."

A vast pool of water suddenly appeared in front of me, and the water surface was as calm as a mirror.

I looked at the surface of the pool and touched it with my feet. It was cold water. The waves spread and quickly disappeared at the end of the visible range. I saw a figure appearing very, very far away.

It was a familiar back, it was Xiaoge.

I stepped on it and fell into the water.

Then, I woke up. I looked up at the bronze door.

It was a dream, the door was still closed tightly.

I looked at my hand, and the wound was not cracked.

Comment: I really like the implication here, Wu Xie trusts Xiaoge more than himself...

20. Ten Years Chapter 41

"The people in that village make a dessert from glutinous rice and brown sugar. Since there’s plenty of rain in the village, a special weed called Yuzai ginseng grows there. The petals of this weed are put into the dessert, and are said to help with memory. Of course, it’s only a local legend."

I kept yawning as I spoke. My consciousness began to blur, but I didn’t stop talking.

I don’t know how long I stayed up, but in my hazy state, I suddenly felt someone slowly sit down beside me.

I hesitated for a moment, turned my head to look, and the other person also turned his head to look at me.

Pangzi slowly woke up and looked at us.I saw a familiar face, indifferent eyes, reflecting the light of the campfire.

People say that when you forget someone, the first thing you forget is their voice. But when he spoke, it wasn’t unfamiliar at all.

"You are old." He said

The music was still flowing, in this place closest to hell.

Pangzi came up, hooked his arm around Men You Ping's shoulder, and caused him to stumble: "How can we compare with you, Xiaoge? And you were willing to come out!!"

Men You Ping swayed from all the jostling.I pulled down my sleeve, covered the scars on my arm, and stood up.

He smiled at me and I lifted my bag: 'Let’s go."We just…haven’t seen you for a long time.

....

I live at the North Sea and you at the South Sea,

I asked the wild goose to pass a letter but was told they could not.

Each of us held a cup of wine and talked amid spring wind with peach and plum blossom,

For ten years we missed each other before lamps during night rain outside.

Note: About the poem, MereBear has already explained here. This is the Chinese version:

我居北海君南海，寄雁传书谢不能；

桃李春风一杯酒，江湖夜雨十年灯。

In short, it's about friendship, a happy gathering and how deeply they missed each other after they parted.

There is an interesting meta about Xiaoge's "you're old", read here.

Top comment: So when Xiaoge explained the amnesia brought by the heavenly gift in Sea of Lights, he looked into Wu Xie's eyes and said "there will be a little left", which means that Xiaoge faced endless darkness in the door, lost his perception of time, and had to use his remaining memory to try to recall Wu Xie's appearance. The words "you are old" in the past ten years contains Xiaoge's deep and heavy longing for Wu Xie.

21. Daomu Biji Extra: 2019 Mid-Autumn Festival

If Men You Ping said something, then it was fine, but he wouldn’t say anything. Instead, Zhang Haike kept telling me that as an outsider follower of Zhang Qiling, I should take care of these things. Fuck that shit, I thought to myself. I’m a guardian, not an outsider follower. He said that if I did well, I could start the special procedures that would give me the surname Zhang. I could be called Zhang Xie or Zhang Wu Xie in the future. Of course, I could also follow my master and be called Zhang Qixie.

I was so angry that day that I thought my liver was going to burst.

22. Daomu Biji Extra: The Other Shore | The Other Shore (MereBear)

It was too cold here, so after I died, I wouldn't be degraded. I would exist here for thousands and millions of years. I could sit here and let the wind and snow freeze me. According to my experience, hundreds of years later, Men You Ping would see the moment he was seeing now.

I seemed to be seriously ill and chose this ending myself. I was surprisingly calm and had no regrets. Although I could not be truly eternal like him, I found a way to coexist in the same time and space as him.

[....]

I didn't expect it to be so romantic. In this world, there was no other person who could use death as a romantic condiment so naturally.

Note: I think almost the whole short story is candy with a knife, but I can't possibly put it all here. There is a good PV about this short story, you can see it here or here.

Top comment:

”When we first begin to truly love someone, our greatest fear is that the person we love no longer loves us. What we should be afraid of is that even though they are dead, we still can’t stop loving them.”

23. A joke that is written by NPSS and posted on the official blog on Weibo

I hope this letter finds you well, I have heard that Wu Xie is well-informed, has a strong memory, is wise in all things, knows everything about the world like a little snow falls on a red stove and melts immediately, and often stays by the side of the patriarch as the two musical instruments strike the same note. I will come on the moon to meet you.

I looked at the letter, and Pangzi also looked at it, looking at me with an awkward look. I touched my nose and said, "What is this, Chu Liuxiang?"

Note: This joke was about the Zhang family sending a letter to Xiaoge and Wu Xie. “笙磬同音” (the two musical instruments strike the same note) is a metaphor for harmonious relationship as a family, but is often used in wedding congratulations. ☆☆

24. Thousand Faces Part 1-001 | Part 1-Introduction 2 (MereBear)

She looked at me and said, "Wu Xie, what is the secret in your heart? Is there anything you will never let anyone know until you die?"

I looked up at him, and a thought moved in my heart. She tilted her head and caught it: "Ah, you have it in your heart."

I smiled awkwardly. Yes, my thoughts moved just now.

I did have one.

I asked Ah Tuo: "Isn't this embarrassing?"

"That's something only you know." Ah Tou looked at some group photos I had hanging in my study room. "If I tell you a secret that I think is the most incredible. You have to tell me the thought you just had."

[....]

She looked at me, "Let me guess first, do you want... to live forever?"

[....]

"I do, but this is not my secret." I said to Ah Tou, "If there is no afterlife, then I want to live forever. I still have a lot of things I want to do with my friends, but I am not afraid of death. The richness of my life is second to none. I have enough. However, I agree to your conditions."

Note: In the second line, "我抬眼看着他" (I looked up at him), if it was referring to Ah Tou, "他" should be "她". I don't know whether it's a typo or not, some say it's not, and I check the Chinese raw, it still hasn't changed. If it's not a typo, "him" in "I looked up at him" can actually refer to Xiaoge, someone explained it on MereBear's site. Nevertheless, it doesn't change the meaning of "if there is no afterlife, then I want to live forever". Later, in Notes in Rain Village: Courtyard Chapter 12 or Notes in Rain Village: Part 2 Chapter 17, it was emphasized again:

Maybe I don’t believe in the afterlife.

Moreover, the afterlife is meaningless to me. I will not have a more thrilling life than this one.

On the ancient road, I met the ancient soul.

25. Restart Part 1-Not a Chapter | Restart Part 1 Chapter 112,5 (MereBear)

I drank to my heart's content that night. In the past ten or twenty years, I spent my days alone imagining things, panicking and being cowardly. At this moment, I understood the meaning of all of this.

I said to Bai Haotian, "I always hope not to disappoint others. Although it is difficult, I have finally reached the point in my life where I will be satisfied if I can just not disappoint one person."

[....]

I dreamed of the Tibetan Lama Temple, the floating ribbons in my dream, and I dreamed of everything, where I belonged, where my life belonged to, but I dared not touch, emphasize, or solidify it. I was afraid that I was not worthy of those memories, those times. Even though I had done so many things and controlled so many other people, I still did not dare to say any beautiful words.

26. Restart Part 1 Chapter 141 | Part 1 Chapter 141 (MereBear)

What was so important about me? I was a person who would have to say goodbye to Men You Ping one day in his life. I was a person who delayed Pangzi for getting rich and getting married. I made Xiaohua bankrupt, separated Xiuxiu from her closest relatives, and made my parents live in fear that I would follow Uncle Three’s path. I was far from worthy of the name "innocent (无邪)" my grandfather had given me. But in my confused first half of life, I lived an incredibly wonderful life. I had seen countless wonders in the world. I had the most amazing partner with the most stories in the world. We sang loudly on the cliffs, chanted the sutras on the snow-capped mountains, drank wine in the Gobi Desert, and watched the moon on the sea.

I've had enough in this life.

In Sina Weibo micro interview on August 03, 2018, NPSS talked about the bolded sentence:

Q: In the past ten years, Wu Xie's inner demon was Xiaoge. Ten years later, is Wu Xie's inner demon the life span? In the Reboot, he mentioned it many times. I feel depressed when I think of "I am a person who will have to say goodbye to Men You Ping one day in his life".

A: Most people in life will eventually say goodbye. For the one who leaves first, everything will return to peace. The one who leaves later will feel a little painful. It's not that scary. It's just unwilling to accept it.

27. Restart Part 1 Chapter 204 & Chapter 208

"...You have to understand what love is. Love is like a ghost. You can't see it when it comes, and it makes no sound when it leaves. Even if it's there, it's moving around. This thing doesn't make sense, it's fucking haunted. When you see it, it'll just pat its butt and leave. You ask it if it wants to leave or not. If it doesn’t go, you’ll have to light three pillars of incense. If it goes away, you can't find it back even if you burn down the house..."

[....]

"I just want to know what's behind the bronze door. If I'm about to die, can you please whisper something in my ear?" I said in the direction of Men You Ping.

There was no response from the other end, so I said, "If I am about to die, just say something in my ear, and then I will leave with peace of mind. Otherwise, you can't send me away even with three pillars of incense.

28. Restart Part 2 Chapter 12 | Chapter 12 (MereBear)

...But when I saw the look in Men You Ping's eyes when he looked at the rain, I didn't know what year or century he was thinking about.

It was so annoying to partner with a god.

29. Notes in Rain Village Chapter 5

Men You Ping looked at the snow. The wind was blowing in the wrong direction, and the snowflakes kept drifting in. His hair quickly turned white.

I wonder what he would look like with white hair.

30. Notes in Rain Village Chapter 15

"If I were your child*, would you not allow me to smoke?"

"Ah, I don't know, but you fell into a crack in the ground in the middle of the night. I don't have a daughter with night blindness." I glanced at Men You Ping, who was leaning against the door and looking at the two of us. His expression seemed to say, "You two both fell into a crack in the ground, what's there to discuss?"

Note: "If I were your child" is “如果我是你生的” in Chinese raw. There is a comment saying:

“The sentence "if I was born by you (如果我是你生的)" is very interesting. Children usually only use the word "birth (生)" to their mothers, and should say "if I were your child (如果我是你的孩子)" to their fathers. Xu Lei (NPSS) used the word "birth (生)" to Wu Xie through the girl's mouth, and I dare not think about it too much.” ☆

Comment: It's not the first time NPSS used the "birth" joke to Wu Xie, and I still remember how Wu Xie's word in Restart "我他妈能生四个" (I can give birth to four) is like a well-known joke in the fandom. So, I can only blame NPSS for how normal I feel about PingXie Mpreg fics and how many there are.. (ᵕ—ᴗ—)

31. Notes in Rain Village Chapter 17

Men You Ping walked towards us, one step, two steps, three steps, six or seven steps.

He walked to our side, and I looked back at where he was just now, and he was no longer there.

Don't worry about it, I thought to myself, we couldn’t go up, so he walked down.

32. Notes in Rain Village Chapter 23

The two dismantled caissons were finally put up with a simple scaffolding. Men You Ping was so damn cool, I had no idea how he dismantled it. Apart from the movements, I found his extreme concentration and skill really enviable.

33. Notes in Rain Village Chapter 24

I felt a little dizzy after drinking and had a very long dream that night. I dreamed of snow-capped mountains and my own ending.

It was the first time I had this kind of dream, but I knew that I would often dream about this moment from now on.

In this world, everyone was a circle and Men You Ping was the only eternal straight line. We were strung on this straight line like Buddhist prayer beads, heading for the other side that Buddha could see. It was just that the other side was an infinite time and space.

34. Notes in Rain Village: Courtyard Chapter 4 | Chapter 9 (MereBear)

At about 9 o'clock, I was looking at the yard from the window and saw Men You Ping tidying up the moss in the yard alone. I leaned on the windowsill, he sorted it out for more than two hours, and I watched him for more than two hours.

I didn't know if he liked my plan or not, but I thought if Pangzi liked it very much, he might like it a little.

35. Notes in Rain Village: Travel Chapter (Physical Book Version)

That night I had a dream. I dreamed that all the happiness here turned into little elves, flying around people. There was also one behind Deren. His face was constantly changing, but the elf was still shining.

"Don't worry, it's okay." In the dream, Men You Ping said to me. The elf behind him hid in his hair and looked at me shyly.

36. Notes in Rain Village 3: Travel Chapter 43

It just happened to be the last moment of sunset, and the sunset glow on the sea turned colorful. We parked the car and unloaded the poultry and livestock. Pangzi went in to prepare dinner with his friends, and Men You Ping and I sat on the embankment by the sea.

Source: Here

37. Notes in Rain Village 4: Pastoral Chapter 8

Then I saw a very magical place: there was a place far away in the starry sky, where the stars were very dense, and those stars were like waterfalls sliding down from the sky, rushing all the way to the clouds below the train.

"The stars are falling," I said to Men You Ping, sounding like a nonsensical child. "Falling, falling down."

38. Notes in Rain Village 4: Pastoral Chapter 33

When I was halfway up, even though I was wearing a raincoat, I was completely soaked and looked very miserable. I knew I would not give up, but I still felt a little desperate. As if I had sensed something, I suddenly stopped and looked back.

Men You Ping was standing behind me.

I didn't know when he came, but it was just like ten thousand times before.

39. Looking for the Dead in the Sea of Lights Chapter 24

As soon as I walked out of the circle of light from the bonfire, Men You Ping rushed out from the darkness on the other side of the camp, in the opposite direction from me. He jumped on his horse, leaped over the bonfire, rushed behind me, and lifted me onto the horse with one hand. Then, two men and one horse rushed towards Pangzi.

40. Queen Mother's Ghost Banquet Chapter 82

"I, I, I..." I tried to describe it, but I couldn't see clearly with my eyes squinting. I murmured, "I need Xiaoge. I really need him this time."

That's it. Obviously, it's not all of them, but I'm spent haha. People in the Chinese fandom often said that PingXie is a Chinese-style cp and pure love “纯爱” type of ship, which I think it's indeed true. Their heartfelt moments are often hidden between allusions and metaphors, and the strong bond between them mostly relies on the emotional attachment rather than just physical touches or skinships. To me, it makes them so unique and interesting. What's more the taste of pure love that people often associate with this cp/ship is actually pretty rare itself. In the end, they did care for each other regardless of what people used to define their relationship (⁠人⁠*⁠´⁠∀⁠｀⁠)⁠｡⁠*+♡

𝐇𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲 𝟖𝟏𝟕!ヾ⁠(⁠･⁠ω⁠･⁠*⁠)⁠ﾉ

#pingxie #dmbj #daomu biji #817 rice festival #special 817 #happy 817 #盗墓笔记 #瓶邪 #pingxie only #瓶邪only #congratulatory post

38 notes · View notes

thormanick · 6 months

Text

All the Kavetham/Haikaveh ideas I don't have capacity to currently write, a very detailed list:

(Which I am humbly placing here before you. Be warned: this post is an incredibly long one!)

1. Fatui!Kaveh AU, where the night before the meeting happens between Kaveh and Alhaitham at the tavern, Kaveh gets a deal from Fatui representatives to work on a huge project in Snezhnaya. Kaveh is sceptical about it, but decides to accept the offer during the dialogue with Alhaitham (seeing himself as a burden, Kaveh decides that he will cause more trouble to Alhaitham than the Fatui, thus he decides to accept their offer even if it seems too good to be true). He tells Alhaitham about his decision to leave for Snezhnaya, and so the two relatively amicably/peacefully part their ways (not without Alhaitham testing Kaveh's reasoning a bit, but Kaveh's resolve remains strong).

And so, Kaveh leaves for Snezhnaya, where he gets to work on several huge projects for the next several years under Sandrone. Most of them are related to construction, engineering and reverse-engineering of Khaenri'ahn and Khaenri'ah-inspired technology, and he gets barely any time to work on his personal projects (he's overworked and exhausted and doesn't get much time and opportunity to be creative; however, the payments are good and he's on his way to getting out of debt, which is practically the sole reason driving him forward. The projects get progressively more complicated and, in a way, unhinged - engineering military equipment is alright, but working with the remains of Khaenri'ahn technology, dead gods and such proves to be... mentally taxing. Everything happens very gradually though, so Kaveh does not immediately notice the true scale of where the Fatui are ready to go to achieve certain goals). Kaveh doesn't really like the work environment of the Fatui, but he does his best (the Harbingers creep him out whenever he gets to see them on a rare official occasion (he might specifically dislike Pantalone because the Harbinger keeps picking at him for his debt, given a chance), but Sandrone's a decent boss who is somewhat encouraging and invested in his work and personal projects. She might be especially interested in Mehrak's existence and operation). Overall, everything goes quite smoothly for Kaveh, even if he doesn't feel quite at home in Snezhnaya and is aware of how dangerous the Fatui can be. He does not consider himself to be paranoid, but the other shoe has to drop at some point - and that happens when the new Acting Grand Sage of Sumeru gets to visit Snezhnaya on a diplomatic mission (aka: Kaveh reconnects with Alhaitham & Co for the first time in what feels like forever). The situation gets complicated when Kaveh realizes that Sandrone encourages the reestablishment of his connection with Alhaitham specifically - and she never encourages an action if she doesn't directly contribute from it.

Feelings, emotions and shenanigans ensue.

TLDR: Kaveh's doing his best despite being restricted in his ways of work, prevented from realizing most of his creative projects and slowly but surely building emotional walls around himself because Fatui and Snezhnaya; Sandrone being a kind of decent boss with sorta good work ethic but horrendous morals who is not exactly a good influence on Kaveh's idealistic tendencies and guilt complex; Fatui being contextually horrifying but kinda normal coworkers if you don't look at them too close; Alhaitham trying his best as a political figure (Nahida help him) while also trying to get Kaveh to return home with him (because he misses him); the main conflict revolving around Kaveh and his life choices with Sandrone and Alhaitham being kind of foils to each other (with Sandrone gradually destroying Kaveh's idealistic morals and playing on his guilt to get the most out of his potential as an innovator, and with Alhaitham actively trying to resolve Kaveh's guilt and show him that, despite their arguments, Kaveh's idealism still has place in the world and can co-exist with other philosophies). There might or might not be some macguffin-esque Deshret relic that both Akademia and Fatui hunt for that eventually brings the whole crew back to Sumeru. Kaveh might or might not get a chance to meet a fragment of Deshret's spirit within the mentioned relic. But there definitely will be a happy end for everyone here (Deshret will make sure of it).

2. Calamity!AU. The new Cataclysm comes, enveloping all Seven Nations, and so Sumeru does its best to survive. The cities are ruined, and the people gather together in random places to survive. Alhaitham gets to live within one of the settlements, established by the Akademiya. While trying to survive the first wave of the new Calamity, he is also looking for Kaveh; after an argument between the two the architect left for an expedition to the Desert, right before the new Calamity began. Unfortunately, the news comes that his group should have been around Tunigi Hollow - one of the spots in Sumeru where the first wave of the new Calamity hit the hardest. There is no concrete information on whether Kaveh's group survived or not. Alhaitham, not loosing hope, does his best to find any information on Kaveh's whereabouts, but due to Sumeru becoming extremely dangerous to traverse and disjointed as a result of the new Calamity, the search stretches out for almost a decade.

One day Alhaitham helps a caravan, traversing the forests to get to one of the settlements, to fight off the monsters. Unexpectedly, Kaveh turns out to be one of the members of the caravan. Their reunion is almost cut short by the caravan's need to keep going, but Alhaitham convinces Kaveh to join him instead. The two return to the new Sumeru city settlement, where Alhaitham lives and works under the watch of Akademiya and Lord Kusanali. It appears that during his years of travels around the destroyed Sumeru Kaveh learned new ways of architectural construction that would be more efficient against the monsters, born by the Calamity. He also seems to behave quite differently, hardened by the experiences of the past years. Alhaitham proposes for Kaveh to stay with him in the city, and Kaveh accepts. The feelings, new routines, dealings with the changed versions of each other and attempts to find new pace of life in the new world ensue.

TLDR: The world might be ending and impossible to live in, but even so each new day is brighter when the person one loves is by their side.

3. Another Cataclysm!AU, where Kaveh and Alhaitham get assigned separate missions in the grander scheme of things created to prevent the coming of a new Calamity. The plan succeeds and the world remains safe, but not without heavy losses: amongst many others, Kaveh does not survive while carrying out his mission.

Decades pass as Alhaitham goes through his grieving process. Eventually, one evening on the anniversary of the Calamity's prevention, Alhaitham wanders to a place he and Kaveh used to visit together. A Ley Line disruption occurs, and he gets to see a glimpse of Kaveh through it. They have a conversation; the Ley Line apparition (a memory of Kaveh) is convinced that Alhaitham is from the future, and so they talk a lot about the Calamity, whether it was prevented, and about each other's futures. Alhaitham can't bring himself to tell Kaveh that he does not survive the Calamity, but he does tell Kaveh that his architectural legacy lives on. Kaveh commends Alhaitham on his achievements (though not an acting grand sage for a very long time, Alhaitham kept playing an important role throughout Sumeru's history, helping to keep it safe).

Eventually, their time runs out. Ley Line disorder starts gradually disappearing. Alhaitham urges Kaveh to be careful and stay safe, knowing that the Calamity (on Kaveh's side) is yet to come. Kaveh laughs and tells him that on his side, Alhaitham just told him the same words after they finished the debriefing session, related to the Calamity. He says that he was feeling very nervous, but that seeing future-Alhaitham made him convinced that they are on the right path.

And so, the Ley Line disorder disappears. Alhaitham spends some more time at the spot before returning home. Despite painful memories having been brought up, his heart feels a bit lighter.

TLDR: closure comes unexpectedly, takes many forms and does not erase the pain in an instant, but, nevertheless, it heals.

4. AU! where Kaveh and Alhaitham are both magical birds that can transform into humans (and half-humans).

They live together in the depths of Sumeru forest - a domain of a long lost God of Wisdom. Kaveh's feathers are rumoured to bring blessings, while Alhaitham's feathers, on the contrary, are said to bring bad luck or even curses. Humans, living at the edge of magical forest, kinda worship them, but also prefer not to interact with them, primarily because Alhaitham is not happy when others trespass on his lands, and because searching for Kaveh is extremely hard (he's often off working on his projects deep within the forest), and the magical forest is very dangerous on its own. So, the humans build their cities outside of the Sumeru forest, and Alhaitham and Kaveh peacefully live together in the depths of it.

Despite Kaveh and Alhaitham living together for a long time, their opinions on humanity are diametrically opposed: Alhaitham barely tolerates humans, finding them to be reckless, meddling, cowardly and deceitful; Kaveh, on the contrary, finds humans to be creative, inspiring, free and beautiful in their own way. Throughout the years, Kaveh manages to build somewhat of an amicable relationship with the humans, living at the edge of the forest: he learns more about their traditions and arts, while the humans receive his guidance and blessings in various matters of living, craftsmanship and arts. Eventually, Kaveh's knowledge and magical powers catch the eye of Lord Sangemah Bay, who resides in and governs one of the bigger settlements at the forest's border. She makes a deal with Kaveh that, despite providing him with valuable (in his eyes) experience of working with humans on some of his grandest architectural projects, costs him a lot - meaning he has to give away lots of his blessed feathers, which makes his remaining magic much weaker (and generally undermines his health for a bit). Alhaitham is not a huge fan of such approach (in his eyes, Kaveh is wasting his powers and time for nothing, endangering himself), and so a conflict between him and Kaveh breaks. As a result, Kaveh flees their home, secluding himself while he's focusing on other projects he finds curious. Kaveh keeps working with humans, and though Alhaitham certainly keeps an eye on Kaveh's wellbeing, he does not make it easy for humans to reach him. So what if there are new random magical seals, obstacles, almost-traps and riddles appearing here and there when people try to get to Kaveh? It's a magical forest, things happen! (Kaveh knows that Alhaitham does this on purpose, and Alhaitham knows that Kaveh knows, and it leads to them indirectly, and then directly bickering and arguing. The magical forest quite possibly grows very tired of them. Their friends Tighnari and Cyno certainly do, but alas.)

The new equilibrium, found by Alhaitham and Kaveh, is challenged once more when Kaveh leaves to the Lord Sangemah Bay's city to direct yet another one of his grand projects. They do not see each other for a long while. Despite all the challenges, Kaveh's relationship with Dori gradually grows stronger - the two value their partnership - and Kaveh ends up making friends amongst humans. However, not everyone is happy about Lord Sangema Bay's growing friendship with the "deity of blessings" personified. As some people come to despise her for her wealth, influence and ever growing power, so do they come to despise the bird of paradise.

When the project is complete, the time for celebration comes. Kaveh gets to attend a feast by Dori's side as a guest of honour, and is invited to stay the night in her palace before returning to the forest. Kaveh agrees: he's been spending all his days and nights at the building site, and resting a night before returning home would be nice. As the night goes on, however, Kaveh begins to feel weary and unwell - the new type of wine he was served did him no good. He excuses himself early for the night and, as soon as he gets to his bed, he's out cold.

After an undetermined amount of time (in what appears to be the middle of the night), Kaveh wakes up because of immense pain in his back.

As he gradually comes to his senses, he has a horrible realization: one of his wings was cut off when he was asleep. Alerting the guards and Dori yields no results: the intruder escaped, presumably with Kaveh's wing, and there are no traces of them left. While Kaveh gets immediately attended to, he goes in shock and, eventually, loses consciousness.

When the messengers form the city arrive to the forest, Alhaitham receives them reluctantly at first, but as soon as he hears of what happened, he rushes to the city. He ends up taking Kaveh back to the forest, hoping that its healing magic will help restore his wing. However, nothing seems to work: neither spells, nor the powers of nature, not even Tighnari's medicine. Though the wound is slowly healing, Kaveh remains unconscious for days. To get more information on what happened, Alhaitham returns to the city to question Dori together with Cyno (who's also to continue the investigation within the city once Alhaitham returns home), while Tighnari stays with Kaveh.

Though the questioning concludes that Dori knows nothing and is willing to assist in the search of the perpetrator, Cyno concludes that she was not thorough enough in ensuring Kaveh's safety and overall security of the celebration in general, revealing that Dori recklessly cut corners here and there. Furious, Alhaitham leaves Dori his cursed feather, giving her an ultimatum: she has to find the perpetrator and give them to Alhaitham to deal the final punishment. Until then, her city is doomed to slowly crumble into decay and oblivion. Dori accepts the deal.

Alhaitham returns to the forest to look after Kaveh, while Cyno remains in the city to continue the search. When Alhaitham comes back, Kaveh is finally awake. However, he remains extremely closed-off, practically a shadow of himself. The recovery process is slow and challenging, but Alhaitham does his best to support Kaveh in all ways that matter. Kaveh struggles with healing: the loss of a wing affected not only his body, but also his mental state and magic. He cannot transform, he can barely use any of his magical skills, and he cannot fly anymore, which hurts him most of all. It takes a while for Kaveh to get on his feet (quite literally), even longer to finally leave his room. He also feels guilty for being in Alhaitham's care, because he remembers all of the Alhaitham warnings about the humans he didn't listen to, and so lots of internal conflict ensues.

Meanwhile Alhaitham does all he can to try and navigate the situation. He looks after Kaveh's healing process; brings back his blueprints and equipment from Kaveh's place so that he has enough to work with if he wishes; he also (to the best of his ability) remodels their home to make it more accessible to Kaveh. Given that their natural method of moving around their house was flying (whether in form of birds of half-humans), Alhaitham now implements more adjustments for walking or climbing. (When Kaveh feels good enough to leave his room, he's amazed by what Alhaitham managed to achieve. He also helps fix some of the constructions, given he's the one with the experience in architecture.) Alhaitham and Kaveh grow closer, slowly unpacking and mending their relationship, turning it into something new and beautiful.

At the same time, Alhaitham continues to watch the forest borders - to make sure that no intruders interrupt Kaveh's recovery and their peaceful life together. One day he notices an interesting sight: a small, but beautiful shrine appeared right by the forest. He decides to investigate; upon approaching the shrine, he meets Nilou (whom he saw in the palace when he visited Dori). She explains to him that, after he and Kaveh left the city, a group of people decided to organize a shrine, dedicated to Kaveh, to pray for his recovery. Nilou explains that in their eyes it's the least they can offer for all the help that their city received in the past and as amends for the pain they have caused. Alhaitham warns her not to get any closer to the forest, but the action of people leaves a lasting impression on him.

Meanwhile, Cyno's investigation progresses. Cyno writes to Alhaitham that together with Dori they managed to find and capture the perpetrator. Questioning reveals no useful information, but Cyno suspects that there might be more to the attack on Kaveh than they anticipated. To uphold his end of the deal Alhaitham goes to the city to deliver the punishment to the attacker and to undo the curse he put on Dori's city. Before he leaves, Kaveh, scared of what might happen to Alhaitham, sews into his cloak a blessed feather for protection (because Alhaitham wouldn't accept it outright). While Alhaitham is away, Kaveh begins working on a new project: a mechanical wing.

When Alhaitham gets to the city, he is led to the cell where the attacker is being held. Cyno and Dori are by his side for the final questioning. The man - a mere mortal (with strange red-ish eyes), one of Dori's citizens - keeps talking in circles, making less and less sense with each new word. Alhaitham lets Cyno and Dori go before rendering the punishment. When the curse (one of Alhaitham's darkest yet) is finally prepared, suddenly, the tables are turned. The perpetrator attacks Alhaitham, but his movements seem unnatural, almost like those of a puppet. Alhaitham realizes, that the man is being controlled by someone with prowess for strong, incredibly dark magic that seems similar to that of the Desert. The strange puppet manages to overpower Alhaitham in a fight, but cannot harm him (due to the protection from Kaveh's feather). The perpetrator manages to escape, taking with him Alhaitham's cursed feather (they seemed to be pleased to receive it. Alhaitham fears to think what they will use it for).

Dori and Cyno pick up the investigation, with Cyno going straight to the Desert. Dori begins reinforcing the city (her people discover that Alhaithams curse (now lifted) awakened Miasma deep under the ground. The Miasma begins to slowly spread, seemingly in the direction of the Sumeru Forest). Cyno sends back a message, confirming that strong and dark magic seems to be gathering within the Desert, possibly for the purpose of destroying the magical forest.

Alhaitham manages to get back to Kaveh and tell him of what happened in the city. In order to be able to protect the forest together with Alhaitham, Kaveh doubles down on his efforts to create a mechanical working wing. Everything works, besides the golden feathers - they need to be blessed in order to allow the mechanism to work as intended, but Kaveh does not have enough power for it. Alhaitham takes a risk and brings the feathers to the shrine, created by Nilou and other humans, so that they could bless them for Kaveh. (They are short of one feather eventually, and Alhaitham gives Kaveh one of his own, his first blessed feather, to complete the wing.)

TLDR: Kaveh works on restoring his wing and faith in himself and humanity; Alhaitham learns that humanity is not always evil. Dori and Cyno discover that the escaped perpetrator (caugh controlled by Dottore caugh) used Kaveh to get to Alhaitham to gain his cursed feather for completing some sort of ancient ritual to unseal the forbidden knowledge magic deep within the Desert in roder to unleash it on the magical forest, slumbering God of Wisdom and human cities. Kaveh learns to curse his feathers (while opposing Dottore in a final fight), and Alhaitham learns to bless his. Humans and Sumeru Forest continue to coexist peacefully. Alhaitham and Kaveh live together happily ever after.

5. Pacific Rim!AU, where Kaveh and Alhaitham used to be pilots of a Jaeger, but during one of their battles they suffered too much damage. In order to save Alhaitham and what remains of their Jaeger, Kaveh takes most of the damage by severing already unstable connection between Alhaitham and Jaeger's system. Both barely survive the encounter, but meanwhile Alhaitham manages to recover fast, the damage Kaveh has taken leaves him in a critical condition, eventually resulting in him being unable to ever pilot a Jaeger ever again (and putting many new restraints on his usual daily life).

As soon as Kaveh comes to his senses, the two have a huge fight about Kaveh's rash decision, and eventually break off their friendship. They don't see each other for a long, long time.

As the time goes on, Kaveh learns how to live with the changes that his body sustained with the help of his service dog Mehrak. Eventually he takes on a job at one of the Jaeger construction facilities (together with his friend Tighnari), studying Kaiju and creating new Jaeger modifications - though no Kaiju has been seen in the past several years, the world is still afraid of their return.

When the suspicion of the new Kaiju appearance arises, new pilot recruits and ex-pilots are summoned to the facility. There, Kaveh meets Alhaitham for the first time in years. After their fallout, Alahitham resigned from piloting Jaegers, yet now he had no choice but to return to train new recruits (and possibly resume his role of a Jaeger pilot). Now once again the two have to work together as a part of a team in face of approaching danger, trying to resolve their past conflicts and overcome their fears and insecurities along the way (when deep down they simply want to keep each other safe).

TLDR: Kaveh & service animal Mehrak is a neat concept I'd love to see more of, just as a concept in general. I think this one could be an interesting story idea centered mostly around Kaveh's day to day life. Additionally, Alhaitham who used to be only drift compatible with Kaveh but now suddenly discovers he's drift compatible with Cyno. I need more Cyno & Alhaitham camaraderie I think it would do them lots of good (at least in this specific AU setting lol).

6. Oxenfree!AU where Kaveh and Alhaitham are two ex-best friends turned reluctant coworkers (photo-journalist and journalist respectively) working on writing a piece about the disappearances of a group of teenagers that happened at the Edwards Island several years prior (timeline somewhere between the first and the second games). The radio shenanigans ensue, making the two face their past, possible futures and, most importantly, their present. (In Oxenfree tuning into certain radio sequences can temporarily mess up time-space shenanigans, just fyi).

TLDR: I just think that this setting could facilitate some character exploration that would be very fun.

7. Modern MermanKaveh!AU, post-fallout, where it's a little bit more about haunting Alhaitham (and the narrative), than being a merman. Due to an unfortunate set of circumstances, Kaveh drowns one day, trying to save someone from the water. Due to an unfortunate set of circumstances, he doesn't really die, being stuck in between (existence and death, normal life and the necessity to live in water). Kaveh manages, for quite a while even!

But of course Alhaitham has to come back and turn his world upside down once again.

TLDR: can you tell Alhaitham's quote about drowning stuck with me huh (and I made it literal lol). On a serious note... Idk, vibes??? I want to see the "stuck in the middle" Kaveh, whatever that entails. Some existential explorations. And the development of his relationship with Alhaitham, of course. // Kaveh is a merman unable to fully live the life he used to have, and Alhaitham doesn't know that he survived (for a while), alternatively "let me help to save you from metaphorical and literal drowning" Alhaitham and "I learned to live like this, this is what my norm now looks like" Kaveh.

8. Another Modern MermanKaveh!AU/DrownedGhostKaveh!AU, because I apparently have no self-control (I feel like I should also clarify that whenever I mention a mermaid, I think of them more as of ghosts of drowned people and less as mermaids-mermaids, the half-human half-marine creature ones). This idea was initially prepared for chili/zhongchi but it's been sooooooooooooooooooo long and I still haven't done anything substantial for it so I'm borrowing it from myself for myself and tweaking it for kavetham because I figured it could fit them. So here it goes,

Alhaitham is a scientist/marine biologist that moves from the city to a much smaller port town, getting himself a place in a local partially repurposed lighthouse. Kaveh is a merman, who has been dead for a long while and who's been living within local waters ever since he drowned. Alhaitham leads a very isolated life, going through a rather rough patch emotionally (maybe a badly ended past relationship and relocation from an established group of friends to a remote place brought up past negative emotions related to loss that were bottled up for a while. who knows, not me). Anyways, Alhaitham's not doing too well, but seaside walks help him unwind, even if for a short periods of time. During one of such walks, he finds an old pendant washed ashore. He picks up his find, hoping to do some research on it outside of his work time (because research is his fun-time).

He expects this to be a brief excursion into local history. He does not expect to become haunted by the ghost of a man to whom this pendant belonged to way back when.

Kaveh, in turn, is extremely excited to finally, finally be able to get out of the sea to the surface. He intends to stay ashore as long as possible and, well, if he just so gets to amuse himself by haunting a grumpy marine biologist that refuses to believe in merpeople, ghosts of drowned and other supernatural occurences - who's he to say no?

TLDR: this AU can go two ways (in my eyes): the happy ending way and probably more gothic-horror-story-esque ending. So, Alahitham is cursed to be haunted by Kaveh: for a while he's the only one who can see him, with Kaveh being something akin to a ghost. However, the longer Kaveh haunts Alhaitham, the more human he becomes (others can see him, he cannot phase through walls anymore, etc.). The curse in itself goes something like this: the cursed thing, after being picked up/taken in, cannot be thrown away and will always come back. The ghost, tied to the haunted thing, shall haunt whoever picks the cursed thing (the thing should be tied to the ghost, but may not necessarily belong to them) and drain their life energy. The ghost can become free and human again if the haunting goes long enough and they kill the human who picked the cursed object in the end during a very specific time that doesn't occur too often (proverbial blue moon, idk). If they don't kill the human and decide to let them go, then the ghost will seize to exist and the human will regain their strength. (An alternative option to the ghost dying for a less angsty au: the ghost voluntarily takes back the cursed object and returns to the place where they died, but then they will never be able to haunt anyone ever again. The effect of the curse on the haunted remain, but much weaker).

In this case, let's say Kaveh and Alhaitham stay by each other's side from half a year to a year, idk. They grow closer, eventually becoming friends and maybe more (the usual kavetham shenanigans Kaveh falls first but Alhaitham falls harder). Alhaitham's mental state gradually improves, yet overall he becomes weaker because of the curse (to the point that it becomes a serious concern), which Kaveh blames himself for. The appointed time approaches (both Kaveh and Alhaitham are in on the details of the curse), and Kaveh, seeing it as an opportunity to set Alhaitham free, manages to separate himself from Alhaitham. Kaveh is ready to return to the sea/merge with it (ah yes the classic Little Mermaid influence does anybody feel it lol). However, Alhaitham sees through his plan and arrives just in time to stop him. They have a confrontation. Eventually, they manage to lift the curse (as you can see I have not figured out exactly how this can happen but! it definitely can!) with Kaveh becoming human again and Alhaitham regaining his health. The two continue to live together happily ever after.

The other scenario is practically the same, but it's more ghothic? and abstract (and probably more suitable for the og pairing it was made for, but i'll throw it in anyways). I have not engaged with gothic literature much and thus don't have much experience in how it works/how to write it, but the idea is that Kaveh is more of a projection of Alhaitham's grief than a ghost fo a drowned person (in other words, he's definitely a ghost, but his presence is also much more symbolical). The story follows quite similar beats, except the setting of the curse is a bit different: it's more of a "kill first or be killed" thingy with a deadline. Kaveh earnestly tries to drown Alhaitham at first through various means, but the more time they spend together, the more Kaveh sees of Alhaitham's life and pain and feels sympathetic for him. Despite the curse, Kaveh tires to help Alhaitham in various ways; and it works! Alhaitham gradually begins to feel better; the two grow closer to each other (more in a platonic way).

So now the precedent is that though Alhaitham's overall doing better, the curse still preys on him, hindering his life in various ways that become more and more serious/dangerous (the curse's deadline approaches, and it tries to survive the best way it can through Kaveh's influence on Alhaitham). Eventually, Kaveh lets Alhaitham go, merging with the sea (once again, yes, it was partially inspired by the Little Mermaid). Alhaitham realizes what happened and tries to look for Kaveh, but it is in vain.

Eventually, life goes on.

Bonus Elden Ring AU (because guess who suddenly went on a lore video watching spree): Kaveh is a craftsman and one of the inhabitants of Castle Morne who managed to escape before it was overrun by Misbegotten. He's a follower of St. Trina and Miquella (he doesn't follow Miquella at first, but slowly he comes to suspect that the two are one and the same). After escaping from Castle Morne, he finds his way to Jarburg, where he is welcomed to stay and be the new Potentate.

Alhaitham is from a distant branch of Carian royal family and a scholar at the Academy of Raya Lucaria. Quite possibly explored an area of studies similar to Sellen's. Eventually he separates himself from both Academy and his family, becoming a wandering scholar.

The two meet somewhere nearby Jarburg when Kaveh gets ambushed by the same people who were trying to get to Alhaitham. The two fight them off. Kaveh, trying to help injured Alhaitham, leads him to Jarburg. The two continue living together there ever since (not without hiccups, but they're doing their best).

TLDR: this one is short and very simple because I just started diving into the Elden Ring's lore, but I just. Really wanted to make some AU for them. I also desperately wanted it to be peaceful and happy one despite it being a seeming impossibility for anything dark souls/elden ring related, but one can dream. If I were to make this one darker I'd probably expand on the duality of their two characters here, and how Alhaitham probably used to conjure spells on humans (with gaining knowledge being his sole life purpose for a long time) and has challenges with comprehending the world outside of a framework of pure logic, and how Kaveh gets an increasing tendency of escaping to the dream world/wherever Miquella is in order to alleviate his mental turmoil (maybe he witnessed too much during his escape from the Castle), and how the two have opposing perspectives on the idea of worshipping gods, and- like, there's a lot that can be done. But I also just really really really want them to simply be happy together in a jar village, leading a peaceful life.

That's it for now! Thank you for reading all of this, I can't commend your patience enough if you got to the end of this list!!!✨🎉✨

Maybe in the future I will unpack some of these aus. who knows.

#if you made it till the end you're officially a hero #sorry for so many words lol #genshin impact #afinna explores teyvat #genshin impact kaveh #genshin impact alhaitham #kavetham #haikaveh #alhaitham x kaveh #genshin impact writing #genshin impact writing ideas #magical birds au my beloved (can you tell lol)#maybe one day #one day i might write it #i was sure i'd never write the inquisitioner x witch kavetham AU but guess what #istg the first chapter should be ready sometime this year. probably. i hope. i dream of it...#pacific rim au is also something i just cradle gently in my hands. weird apocalyptic-esque setting but make it more a piece of life thing #in order to better unpack the relationships between people and various internal turmoils #and the fatui au!!! i want fatui to be weird menacing coworkers that end up being weirdly decent!!! sometimes!!!#idk i just think kaveh and sandrone could be a great work duo #and just the interactions with others could be sooooo much fun #anyways hope these ideas are. decent #also lowkey i need more dori-kaveh-alhaitham shenanigans #like alhaitham is canonically banned from seeing dori as far as i remember [well. blacklisted from the market or something similar]#granted it's probably bc he's with the Akademiya but like. Are We Sure [glances at Kaveh's debt]#anyways i just think there can be some exploration done here lol #also a hot take probably but. we need more 'Dori the Scary Businesswoman that Seems Inhumane But is Actually Wise'#like I want her to push others to their limits for mutual/personal gain BUT doing so knowing exactly when to stop and not cross the line #she is The Monkey's Paw for people who come to her. anyways i just find her interesting #yay that's it thanks for reading all of it have a great day byeeeeeeeeeeeee!

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madame-fear · 5 months

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Okay, so. Yesterday I received a rather extent anon message blaming me for, apparently, “not being neutral in the drama” because I’m mutuals with someone that had little involvement in the situation I think, and as I found out today, my mutual already clarified things and apologised.

I left my answer to the ask in the drafts, but today I opted to ignore the message and remove the drafted answer. I did this not only because I wanted to drop things already and not stir up any more shit, but also because I have a condition where I constantly tremble, and any extreme emotion — whether it’s good or bad — makes my shaking worsen to the point I can barely function even for basic things and I feel sick in the stomach.

It wasn’t worth going through that. I thought it would be better to answer ask messages of people ranting, or asking things about it that were within the reach of my knowledge.

Until today, that a burner account named @/quillantrophy (which, they accidentally exposed their real account @/wewereforever in one of their screenshots and now they both deactivated), thought they could do a “call out” post... Posting my answers to anon asks & basically treating me as a hypocrite over nothing?

And they said I should explain things because since I wasn’t commenting on anything they said on the post, I was “adding fuel to the fire” (that exact quote). I didn’t have time to explain things at the moment, but I do now and I will answer bit by bit. I will do this just to avoid possible misunderstandings.

I want to clarify that I don’t feel comfortable getting involved in things that I’ve never been involved in— and if I receive more messages about the drama itself, those messages will be deleted. I feel kind of bad about this since people have only been coming to my ask box asking thing about it confuses, or seeking comfort from the moment, but like we’ve been saying, it’s better to drop things already, and focus on the good things inside the fandom.

The answer to the post is below the cut. It’s going to be long, sorry, but I prefer to clear any misunderstandings. And I will highlight something extremely important down below, besides apologising deeply for any misunderstanding. And this is the last time I will be talking about it

“there’s no issue with this, but she claims to be neutral and is currently explaining/advocating on the situation whilst adopting this stance.” I am neutral on the situation. I will eternally remain neutral because as we’ve seen, neither side is good.

As I’ve said before, Cal had little to do with all of this huge mess. From what I learned today, she already clarified and apologised about the situation. Cal was dragged through the mud by both of the groups out of nowhere, and she also fell for their shit so she was fooled by them just like lots of other people— she told me herself.

“This is bullshit, there’s no transparency” huh? what does that even mean,, I just… Literally don’t have any involvement at all? What can I say or do about it? Both groups of people were already on my blocklist since last year lmao.

“She has connection to the drama purely through this even as she apparently didn’t participate — allegedly.” I’m sorry but the allegedly part is killing me too. I wasn’t even on their Discord groups, nor talked to any of the people involved, explain why the word ‘allegedly’ was even added?

also, how the hell am I supposed to be connected to the drama if, as you said, I didn’t even participate in it, only because I’m mutuals with someone who was named in it? What kind of sense does that make?

As I stated above, I am, and always have been a neutral onlooker about the situation, who explained the situation to the confused people, even posting the links with the full info and proof to not spread incorrect information accidentally.

“Does @bucknastysbabe even know or care you’re slamming her on main and then love bombing her the next?” Cal knows about all your post, and all my answers to each ask regarding the situation.

She knows I hadn’t seen her apology/clarifying video until today. She even cheered me up when I had an anxiety attack after this person made this post, only to then delete it and deactivate the account. So, yes, she knows pretty much everything and she knows it was a mere mistake of mine.

Then, the person posted this. I will show the screenshots of what they said, and what answered ask they were referring to using their own SS.

(sorry if the screenshot pics are switched of their right places) I had no idea that was a direct quote from Cal’s apology video, because I OBVIOUSLY HADN’T SEEN IT. I don’t know how else to stress this, but I’m not chronically online, and neither I see everything my mutuals post.

Either way, I literally re-read my own response to check what I had answered, and this was terribly misunderstood. The only response I had about Cal’s statement was “why am I not surprised?”, and in the rest of my response, I tried to be as neutral as possible— in the rest of my response, I was referring to the general situation of the drama, and in fact I was mostly referring to the things Bel, Fae, Em and Ange said + did.

But nothing else, thats it, because I wanted to speak about the situation in general and I was referring to the group of people— I didn’t name names and neither I referenced Cal’s statement any further. I deeply apologise for the misunderstanding, but sometimes I explain myself awfully mostly because English isn’t my native language.

if this was considered with any possible ill intention at all, I offer once again my most sincere apologies. I never had any bad intention, and the only thing I’ve been doing was answer the asks of the people who came to my ask box inquiring about what had happened, try to offer comfort to those who felt disappointed and heartbroken, and in general just try to provide as much positivity as I could amidst the terrible situation.

Some believe I was trying to gain attention from the situation, and that I was stroking the flames of the drama. I at no cost even thought of ‘getting attention’ from it, or that I was actually getting attention, I simply answered the messages I was receiving to interact with my own followers— I mean, it didn’t feel good to leave them hanging.

I do have to take responsibility that perhaps my actions continued to keep the drama up, but again, I never had this intention, and I’m terribly sorry if that’s what my answers and interactions caused.

Please I do hope you guys understand my point of view, and that I never intended for any of this to be understood in the wrong manner. I have to admit that despite all the lovely people and fun moments I had/have in the fandom, it’s also responsible for worsening my condition the 90% of the times due to the unnecessary drama, and this situation today made me feel extremely bad physically as it automatically involved me in a situation I didn’t want to be involved in, nor have anything to do with it.

And that’s why, from now on, I won’t be answering any message related to the drama anymore to not keep mentioning the things that happened. As I said all the way above, we should currently be focusing only on the good, positive things of the fandom— and hopefully, we will all learn to not be rude or gossip about other people over mere fandoms, or fanfanfiction.

Then again, thank you for reading and understanding. If I expressed myself wrongly anywhere in here, please feel free to ask me about it and I will glady re-explain it. I hope this can clear everything, and please, I don’t want to be involved any further in anything.

#fandom rants #I hope this cleared everything out. I am as polite and as clear as I can be about the situation.#important #✧.* amiraverse #hotd drama

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unrestrained-balderdash-art-blog · 3 months

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Going on a Riddler fanart break

I'm having a break from posting Riddler fanart to Tumblr. The backlog will still be posted on Cara and Instagram (both @ tbalderdash), and if the break is long enough for it to catch up I will post things made during the break on there before Tumblr. I will still be posting bird art here. I will still post fanart for other fandoms here if I make any (I am currently undecided about non-Riddler DC). The break will be for at least a month. I will probably come back when the OCD medication has kicked in for a bit. Thank you for all of the support on the last post. I don't want to take a break, but I have to for my mental health.

"Organised" ramble about reasoning (this is heavily influenced by neurodivergence/mental illness and I am not trying to sound like an entitled/ungrateful twat. I don't want to guilt trip anyone, please don't feel guilty):

The Timezone Curse: Tumblr has a reverse-chronological dashboard. I am British. I live earlier than the majority of the userbase. I have no idea what time to post things so they don't get buried. Recently I've tried to stop waiting for the exact right minute to post things, as it doesn't stop them from flopping.

Likes vs Reblogs, (and OCD?): I will preface this and say: a lot of this is my brain's fault. Since Likes don't do anything to spread things, my brain gets upset when things keep getting Liked without Reblogged. Unless it is from a bird fan on the fanart, better artist, or irl friend, Likes mean nothing to me. I know this is silly and irrational, but I can't help it and this is the main reason why my brain is suffering posting fanart. I hope medication will fix my feelings. Additionally, OCD brain keeps trying to find a reason: Am I dislikable? Is my art bad? Does it have no appeal? Is it aphobia? Did I do something cancellable without knowing and now everyone hates me? I (think I) know the answer is people just don't use this website that way, but my brain is never sure. This is why I don't have the problem on the other websites, every like helps the algorithm and actually means something in my brain

The combination of the Timezone Curse and lack of reblogs means my art often gets barely any reach (or reach my brain deems meaningful). I desperately want to feel like part of the Riddler fandom community. Unfortunately, due to Tumblr making me suffer (overwhelmed by compulsive need to scroll entire dash, repulsed aroace, and simple posts being able to make me ruminate unpleasantly for a long time) I find it very hard to follow new blogs or connect with people on this site. I love birds, but I need Riddler interaction. I can't look at much fandom on other sites, as they have barely any/no tag filtering, which means I will suffer if I look for him.

Why it's just fanart and not birds affected by this: I started off as a fanartist with no expectation to get big with birds, so I had a que sera sera attitude and I post them whenever they're ready, I didn't expect to get big. I am more fulfilled when it comes to the bird interest (more community interaction + every day can have different birds out there + people in my real life are interested in birds). Additionally, the bird art spreads a lot more (due to bird blogs reblogging). Bird art is my "job" art (it is where I plan to make money from) whereas Riddler is where my passion lies the most (I still love the birds but I have many other ways of interacting with them without needing art). This means I get more emotionally invested in the Riddler art than the bird art

Is art becoming a compulsion? This applies to the birds as well, but since they're "job art" it doesn't matter too much. I keep being worried about not posting enough Riddler art, and feelings of social media sometimes overshadow the joy of creating - I keep thinking about posting, rather than doing. I get too anxious to make art that is "unpostable" (eg: self-insert and him hugging), especially due to the fact I'm trying to get more professional. I feel like there's more I want to expand on this but it's been too long and I'm tired. This break might help me do more high-quality art instead of having to churn it out out of fear of everyone forgetting me.

Sorry for all the text. I don't know if I've explained everything very well but it's been an hour and usually if I post something after 8 it fails, which I don't usually want to worry about but it's a bit important for an announcement like this

#i was going to make another piece for announcing but it's a week since i started this one (and i did the lil doodle today)#gonna make this my pinned post. pretty sure readmores are automatically expanded when scrolling through a blog. sorry haha #the riddler #edward nigma #edward nygma #riddler fanart #riddler #the riddler fanart #dc fanart #dc #arkham riddler #arkham city #arkham city riddler #arkhamverse riddler #arkhamverse #fanart #tw eyestrain #cw eyestrain #wauk wauk

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princess-of-the-corner · 5 months

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So, more serious musings on Aware Lila.

I tend to gloss over post Season 3 stuff due to not really watching it extensively or at all and not liking what I heard though I will borrow bits and pieces from time to time.

With that in mind, Lila is where she's at in season 1 to 3.

IE, she has one mother, a Madame Rossi who is an Italian Diplomat recently moved to France. She is a woman who is evidently either profoundly gullible or profoundly checked out when it comes to parenting. Given Lila was able to stay home for six months based on a lie, despite efforts by the school to reach her.

Given her line of work I am going to say its the second one, as I know some people who work in the diplomat cores and unless you are a major nepotism hire, you are fucked if you aren't at least decent at your job and being easy to lie to will fuck you over.

With that reference point of RL in mind too I have a fun observation.

Its been noted to me that children of diplomats tend to come up a bit oddly. An anecdote I was told involved a six year old clicking their fingers for a wait, doing the finger swirl and casually ordering a round of drinks for their table of other children.

The main take away is that diplomat kids tend to be expected to or by dint of circumstances, start acting like mini adults.

This works well for Lila cos she is rather like Chloe in that both come off as presenting as older than they are in terms of fashion and manner and the like. Not totally, but of all the class they feel the least "Childlike" upon a quick glance.

Moving on from that, we know Lila lies a lot and wants people to admire her and she's convincing enough that she can usually get away with it for long enough periods of time that her mothers never noticed.

She's also prone to intense reactions that dwarf even Chloe's most bitter grudge holding given she spent six months locked in her room faking being in Achu. Even when it was clear the class still bought her deceptions she didn't go back.

I will note some of this could be tied to Hawk Moth as Nathalie did note they'd apparently been keeping an eye on or perhaps handling her in that interim. Still, girl has a temper and grudges and clearly doesn't see her mother as someone to confide in.

With all this in mind, here's what I think her situation is:

Her mother is a diplomat, and a fairly high ranked one. Enough so that Lila actually can occasionally get pictures with notable figures at events, which helps sell her lies.

This means she is an intensely busy person and they never stay anywhere for more than a few years. Meaning Lila's never really had a chance to put down roots that didn't get ripped out & her mother doesn't prioritize her needs.

Madame Rossi also expected Lila to be able to be 'mature' beyond her years when meeting others, dealing with her not being home and to otherwise get along well with others and not cause her problems.

I imagine she's very much one of those, "I work hard for you. Look at all the nice things you own because I work hard. Is it so difficult for you to just not complain, just not cause trouble?"

IE, neglectful, has high-ish expectations but only in the sense that Lila not make waves and if so barely checking in on her and prone to emotional manipulation like guilting or shaming.

So yeah, Lila' definitely abused. She's very much a latch key kid, but one who was chastized for being a kid and wasn't able to form long lasting connections to support her in place of a family.

To compensate for the utter dearth of affection and lacking sense of home and identity, she sought the approval of others but only in the most superficial sense. This means her mother won't complain, and she won't get attached, while still getting a form of positive affirmation.

If thing start to get hard, she will lie, neg, shame and guilt others to keep the con going. Because that's how her mother kept her pliant for as long as she did until Lila just stopped viewing her as anything other than another person to lie to to get what she wants. It is an incredibly empty life with a flashy mask.

Like with the others I doubt she will consider herself abused, though she might be the most willing to say it but the least willing to mean it. She'll likely be dismissive or defensive, quick to cast off the idea that her actions are motivated by anything other than desire or aren't justified. & that she likes having a mother who is so disinterested Lila can 'do anything.

She likely has a bit of Chloe's "I can make X parent do what I want by playing this role or telling this lie" and feigning it makes her happy to have the situation "In control" like that. But its just another way of trying to give herself the impression of control in a life she actually has zero control over. Where everything could slip away at any moment.

Why she reacts so intensely to what went down in Volpina is harder to say:

Is it just that she's never had this happen before and wildly overreacted by pretending to move away? Or is it that it evokes a different time she was uncovered? Or is t a trauma response? Or did it come down to just her being pissed off initially and then Hawk Moth continuing to stoke the flames to keep it going?

But I think this is a pretty good personality profile.

Or at least I hope so.

Oh yeah no 100% this is about what I have her for HC/LL aka: not conning a bunch of women

I also added things in for like. Her former classmates accidentally enabled her by giving her stories more attention than her, Lila learning the lesson of 'if one person unravels the lie, they all turn on me and act horrible' which causes her to discredit anyone who catches on, and her dad dying right before moving to Paris which is why she's scrambling so desperately to cling to this little 'happiness' she's created.

#aware au

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lgcnathan · 6 months

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*guess_who's_back_back_again.mp3* hi all ! thank you so much all the warm welcome (back's) 🤍 i'm kristin / admin *, and for those of you who don't know, nathan is my previous third-turned-second muse before i dropped out of the rp completely back in may of last year. i've still been around doing graphics, but nathan has always had a special place in my heart – and i knew that if i were to return with a muse, it would be with him. so when soobin opened up, i knew this was my one and only chance !

that being said, nathan is ~pretty much~ the same but ofc different in ways. his timeline is a continuation from where he was ic-wise last year, and you can read more under the cut about what his life is like now in the post-type zero era of his career. i've also linked his previous introduction that includes more of his backstory before he came to legacy for your reference !

now, without further ado, please like or reply to this post if you want to plot ! and if we plotted before, please don't feel like we need to keep the same connection – i'm practically starting from scratch here, and i'm excited to see what the future holds for nathan + all of you !

because i am an admin, you can easily reach me here or on the main. alternatively, you can find me on twitter or discord – just ask for my username, and i'll add you !

super stoked to be back here in my favorite place with my favorite people – let's get this party started 🥳

tl;dr on his backstory is that he (1) grew up in new york city, (2) acted out a lot because of parental neglect (re: being raised in boarding schools his whole life), (3) ended up in korea because the school board threatened to expel him after a prank-gone-wrong, (4) auditioned for legacy after his npc-big brother got signed to the company, (5) stayed because it was the first time in his life he ever got praised for literally anything and, wow, very much attention and affection-starved from the get-go, and (6) debuted in type zero in april of 2021 after four years of training!

now ... where, oh, WHERE do i even begin? like i mentioned in my ooc post when i dropped, nathan ultimately left type zero because of massive burnout. at the time, he was practically hard-carrying the group's promotions with his solo activities, and the burden of maintaining type zero's 'status' in the industry was eventually too much for him.

it was a lot for him, okay. not only was he dealing with the emotional turmoil that came from being in a group with so many line-up changes and differing opinions from the public, he was succumbing to the pressure of all these expectations placed on him that he (as he knows now) never felt properly prepared for before his debut.

the first few weeks after his departure, he had an extended staycation with his grandparents in the outskirts of seoul before flying back to nyc for some much-needed r&r.

since he was still signed to legacy even after leaving type zero, he returned to training after about three months of 'vacation' – so he's only been full-time training for a little over six months now.

he's been avoiding, basically, everyone – previous managers and stylists and other staff members, other debuted idols in the company, and, of course, the type zero members.

he's so ashamed of himself, for giving something up that (as he first-hand witnessed himself!) hundreds of kids only dream of after sacrificing their childhoods, their youths, their critical developments years all for the goal of becoming an idol.

and he's embarrassed, for obvious reasons. when he left type zero, he was practically at the top of his game, but now? now he's stuck in the basement, in the hallways of dance studios and practice rooms, surrounded by unfamiliar faces that whisper and gossip as he passes by. he's visibly older than most trainees now, and his energy nor enthusiasm can barely keep up anymore.

before, nathan thought he could take the world on by storm – that no matter what problem or obstacle, he could bulldoze through with sheer willpower alone. but now he's scared, and more jaded. the idol industry isn't anything like they tell you to believe, and there truly are things you can only learn through real-life experience.

but at the end of the day, nathan knows why he's still here, why he's tormenting himself by going through this rigorous training process again. he loves it. he loves it so much, and so much more than wanting to run away from it all once again.

#lgc:intro #OUT OF CHARACTER (TAG)#whew got a lil emotional writing this

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spiderpussinc · 1 year

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I don’t think it’s very fair for you to try and knock others from reading Miguel’s OG run because truthfully that’s the only place you’re going to get his full character since every run after that is just “Let’s place him in different time scenarios to fix other people’s problems”. I’ve read ur reasonings and some of the issues I just don’t see and that’s coming from someone who’s ALSO half Hispanic and had similar family experiences. Idk I guess comic Miguel is rlly important and relatable to me and you shouldn’t turn others away from having that potential connection too. :/

NAH LOL it is *not* the only place to get his character truthfully -- his character is not consistent between runs, or between comic and movie! Not even Pdavid's runs have an unified version of Miguel since he just becomes an author self-insert after one point. The way Pdavid writes '92 Miguel - Gabriel is also shamelessly almost the same as he wrote Bruce Banner - Rick Jones. (another series where he ended up being pushed off the book after he started making really weird decisions; and notice these last two are white guys, which is how pdavid depicts Miguel all the time.)

I haven't even told people to not read them. In multiple posts i say 'read the first ones to see how it is, stop when you get annoyed, look up summaries, don't feel obligated to treat it as canon because it isn't.' If anyone feels threatened by this they should examine where that defensiveness is coming from.

I'm gonna be real with you that's like saying "the only way to REALLY understand Miles Morales is to read his ultimates run." You know, the one where his mother gets eaten alive by Venom, his dad thinks he's at fault for killing her and nearly beats him with a cane, where the closest thing he has to peter is a clone named jessica drew, and that eventually gets completely retconned in a universe explosion so main universe Miles can be rewritten. Do you remember seeing any of the things above in ITSV? Would you call them *the only real way to fundamentally understand Miles as a character?*

I keep seeing the rhetoric that 'real fans' have to subscribe to the very first script of these characters and that somehow enjoying their ATSV versions is fake-stanning and that is just... not true. That's not how comics work. Our most iconic, definitive, memorable traits for MANY of these superheroes have come from subsequent comic runs, rewrites, feats of adaptation and the interaction between fanwork-becoming-canon. Even uncle Ben's 'power and responsibility' schtick is NOT an original part of Peter's first draft. That came from re-imaginings and rewrites.

I'm really, truly not a fan of the argument that 'relating to parts of a character' completely absolves the text from criticism. It's not a good comic. It barely tries to be latino rep and frankly, I'm not going to praise it for just placing a label on him and doing nothing with it. I don't care for this white man's truth. It's racist and creepy and I should be paid reparations for having to read a storyline where the same girl gets paired up with two different brothers and then their father just to end up getting killed for a sexier token love interest. I am constantly frustrated by the argument that new fans should be forced to read it and potentially get turned away from comics forever; it's one of the worst offerings you could give them. 90's Marvel and DC are a public fandom joke and nearly led the market into bankruptcy!!!!! (Marvel filled for loss in 1996. IT WAS BAD. That's part of why the whole 2099 line went up in flames! The money was going down the drain.)

I've been a comic reader for a long time and I just can't give them blissful innocence passes like that. The current editor-in-chief at Marvel did yellowface and pretended to be a japanese man for years to write some shitty superhero weeb comics with no accountability whatsoever. He still has a job. RUNNING the company!

And here's the thing: I like Miguel too. I have a shitty family and I empathize with that but I KNOW he deserves much better than to be confined by white people's scripts and fetishes. I *want* him to have a chance, multiple chances even, to be completely rewritten and remolded by latine voices without the need for them to constantly refer or tie back into that white man's work; It is our right just as any other.

ATSV throws away most of Miguel's baggage, and straight up refuses to refer to the weird indepth sludge pdavid had going on; the artbook doesn't mention these first comics or most of his runs, they actually talk about other groundbreaking sci-fi concept work and the idea of basically rebuilding the landscape from scratch, and I am deeply thankful they do that. One of the biggest themes of the movie *is* that the idea of comic canon is fraught and full of holes, and that we should subvert it into joyful and honest expressions of these characters' cultures. These are movies that begin with the Comics Code Authority stamp, a censorship marker that among other things explicitly prohibited the positive depiction of pro-civil rights narratives and homosexual relationships, and actively turned their nose at protagonist black characters — & proceed to rip it to shreds. That's what we should be doing!

#miguel ohara #miguel o'hara #spiderman 2099 #atsv #spider man: across the spider verse #spiderverse #marvel comics #spiderman #meta tag #miles morales

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heatwa-ves · 4 months

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pls yap abt ur fave jojo part 🎤

yippeeeee ^_^ okay so from fav to least fav it's 5/6/4/2/3/1 to me 4 and 2 are interchangeable. I haven't finished part 6 yet I have only a few episodes left but I don't want it to be over so I keep putting off finishing it...

part 5 is my fav because I just love the main cast sososososososoooo much it's definitely the strongest main cast of any of the parts imo I find them all so interesting and compelling and it's hard to choose a fav (it's fugo tho. sobs dies etc) the relationships between the characters are so good as well...

also trish I LOVE trish. she's everything she's such an interesting character I do wish she had more moments like her first scenes where she's an annoying teen and I would've loveedddddd a scene where she lashes out at the rest of the cast and kind of hates them because of everything she's been through she's suddenly taken from her life and thrown into a world of violence and it's not fair and she should've been allowed to be mad about it!! she does have a lot of really good moments tho ofc the part where she awakens her stand and everything leading up to it (on that note spice girl should've been used more I can only think of maybe two instances where she was used??) and also another fav is in the cioccolata fight where she talks to narancia about bruno it's really nice characterisation for all of them + you see more of narancias blind faith in bruno that ultimately leads to his death. semi related naratrish is really cute guys . ... straight people rights.

another trish moment I am deeply obsessed with is the purple haze feedback bonus chapter which is her visiting brunos grave and speaking with his mother. makes me stupid emotional. her becoming a singer post canon is soooooooo important music is a pretty big theme in the relationships between the main cast most importantly in this case is when fugo says (roughly paraphrased) "how can you throw your life away for this girl you barely know, you don't even know what music she likes" (fun fact in phf fugo goes on to talk about how he's not too fond of women he hates his mother and he doesn't like trish 😭)

ANYWAYYY wait I'm gonna talk about music more because. I'm sick. so there's stuff like abbacchio having headphones on in the first scene we see him and narancia having a stereo on the boat and then ofc the torture dance... it's fun and silly but also it's like. they're just kids. sobs. music is their thing all the characters have a listed favourite artist all the stands are named after music!!! and then my fav part this scene in phf .

so yeah trish becoming a singer is both a connection with her mother because they used to sing together and connection with the people who died so she would have a chance to live and a chance to move from her father's influence and have a bright future. I do wonder if she stays in contact with the survivors post canon I like to think she does with mista at least. maybe not giorno at first because that's all too raw and also I think he would discourage contact between them for her safety but maybe eventually. also another trish scene I like (well. She's not actually present for it) is right before the finale where bruno is dying and he can't tell people apart and he talks to doppio thinking it's trish and he promises her she can stay in his house if she has nowhere to go because he knows he won't make it home and he never does and she wasn't even there to hear him say that to her. sobs. I saw a hc that post canon she gets a tattoo around her wrist of a zipper in memory and I really like that idea

also it's insane to me that she is the ONLY female character in part 5. What? Huh? jojo had never been good with women leading up to this but I thought we were finally getting somewhere with diu and reimi yukako tomoko shinobu aya yuyas three weed smoking gfs etc but no. we're back to one again. she's a really good character but still. One. sheila doesn't count she's not in the main part. how are none of la squadra women. I hate la squadra but I would've taken it. I would've hated diavolo slightly less if he was a woman. but no. just one. well the intelligent among us (me) will know and understand that mista is butch but well. araki doesn't know that. Ah well at least we get jolyne next part. Also I just found out apparently giorno was meant to be a girl but arakis editor made him change it.. sigh.

speaking of la squadra can I just express how much I hate them. they're so annoying the only one I can tolerate is illuso and that's because man in the mirror & purple haze is my absolute fav part of golden wind and also he's somewhat interesting in his relationship with sheila and then her relationship with fugo in that he killed the man she had her heart set on taking revenge on because he killed her sister and forced her down the path to the mafia. I can't stand risotto he looks like a tokyo ghoul reject and yet everyone on tumblr dot com wants his dick. why. where is the appeal. he pisses me offfff and also it doesn't help that his stand at least the way it appears in the anime makes me like physically uncomfortable which is a little bit embarrassing it's a really cool stand I just can't watch the episode without feeling sick . and his name is RISOTTO how can you want a man named risotto. that would kill the mood in bed so fucking fast you can't call him that 😭😭😭😭 anyway I hate him moving on. I also hate diavolo and doppio sorry guys they're annoying and diavolo pisses me off bc his hair looks like a dragon fruit . the torture time loop was cruel tho giorno . just put him out of his misery. his lace shirt thing is cute tho at the very least. so yeah my main issue with part 5 is aside from the main cast I really don't like any of the other characters wait no. scratch that. I like squalo and tiziano they're cute. I hate all the others tho. melone is the worst by far to me and it bothers me how many people like him. he shows up sexually assaults a woman and then dies there is nothing to like. wait I take that back there is one thing to like and it's the tadashi harada x jojo thing LOOK. melone is the last one but can we talk about bruno?????? Hello???????????????????? im obsessed

Anywayyyyy I talked about trish for a bit so now im gonna talk about the other characters hopefully this won't be too long but. well. I like to talk. can u believe I was gonna talk about some of my opinions on other parts on this post it would be so long 💀 my endless hatred for part 3 can be a topic for another time

first of all bruno 💖 sorry to anyone who was following me in november of last year I swear I'm not normally Like That he's just the exception. combination of that fuckass bob and titty window and . everything . anyway I calmed down now only because I got my fix by actually watching the show not hoping mutuals would take pity on me and rb art of him onto the dash. i was so excited to see him and his narrative exceeded my expectations by far. died and came back wrong??? walking corpse that is slowly decaying??? saviour complex????? forced to grow up too fast???? I love thinking about his life in the mafia pre fugo as well as the early days of his own team... his relationships with all the other characters are sooooo interesting to me especially giorno I've talked about them before here

I love sticky fingers it's soooo cool he should use it more for making severed.hands come out of random kids mouths like he did in episode one. let him be a fucking freak again. not a fan of the stand design tho sadly but I guess they can't all be winners 😓 I think it's the blue it kinda throws me off like that's notttt the vibes. but what do I know. also shoutout to the actual album sticky fingers it fucks hard and no I definitely did not start listening to it because I was sick over bruno that is not why I listened to it at all. (it totally is)

I also love abbacchio sm like acab but.. at least he's not a cop anymore. shoutout to suicidal characters always my favs . I don't really know how to talk about him without just going ouughghhj he makes me sick in the head. he joined passione to have something to die for.. and he ended up dying not for passione but for his own cause (well. bruno's cause but he's so devoted to bruno that he'd do anything. let's talk about "I only feel at ease when im with you". Hello? phf also implies he's straight which????? this is Mr "I only feel anything if I'm following the orders of men superior to me" we're talking about. bdsm could save him)

he's haunted by the ghost of his past and well without getting too into my interpretation of stands I think it would be so cool if pre passione moody blues isn't fully there yet but he can see her in the corner of his eye sometimes in the form of his dead partner. speaking of moody blues she's soooooo cool most fuckable stand by far. I mean what who said that. she has such an awesome ability I wish it was used more she's so interesting to me bc her ability is the literal manifestation of his inability to move on from the past I like to think about their relationship.. to me stands have varying levels of sentience randing from like. power outlet. to echoes act 3. and moody blues idk I think she has some level of sentience. i think she stands there looking creepy and wet to get her point across and it works. anyway my endless thoughts on stands is a topic for another time back to abbacchio.

it's canon that he's the most physically strong of the team I would love if he had some fights. before starting the show I had only seen his design a couple times and I was sooooo convinced he had a long black morticia addams ass dress and nothing compared to my disappointment when I realised it was a coat thing. the purple lipstick is everything. I think a lot about his life post police pre passione as well as early passione days. finally obligatory mention that I like bruabba but I think it's most fun if it's onesided. abbacchio is 1000000% in love with bruno like that's not even debatable but I don't think it's reciprocated 💖 actually this reminds me there's one araki interview where he's asked if abbacchio loves bruno and he says something along the lines of "NO???? THEYRE NOT LIKE THAT. dio is tho. did you know dio is bisexual did you know dio likes men. sexually. did you know dio has awesome gay sex. abbacchio is straight tho" I wish I could find it again because it's so funny to me

I love narancia. have I mentioned that I love narancia. I love narancia. what can I even say other than I love narancia. best character araki has ever made 10/10 no notes I sobbed when he died. going into the last few episodes I knew two people were gonna die and I knew one of them would be bruno and I was just hoping narancia wouldn't die. and then he did and I was inconsolable uaaagghhhhhh giorno growing flowers over him.... he just wanted to go home.... he wanted to see fugo again.... the scene with fugo where he thinks he sees aerosmith I'll kill myself AFGHHHH. the scene in venice where he can't decide whether to go or stay.... him realising the similarities between him and trish... his backstory... his character design... he's literally perfect. did u know I love him. what else can I even say.

now mista. well you see. um. read this . I just think he's neat. I love his relationship with fugo especially post canon like. they were friends!!! I think they were both closer to narancia than to eachother but regardless they were friends and then fugos "betrayal" not that it was a betrayal but to mista it felt like that. especially because he then lost his best friend and can't help but think if fugo was here maybe that wouldn't have happened. and I think fugo has the same feelings if he was there maybe they wouldn't have lost so many people. and this drives a huge rift into their relationship you can see how they are at the start of phf that's another scene I really like and I think it would take a really long time for them especially mista to be in a place where they can consider eachother friends again and even when they do it will never be the same as it once was. also the sex pistols are great I love them.

now giorno. yesterday on instagram I discovered that there's a sizable minority of people who think he's boring 😭 and I feel the need to defend him. he's literally my little brother I love him . he's such a funny character he's fifteen and a mafia boss and his dad is an evil semi immortal bisexual vampire and that's not even the weirdest member of his family. he wears hot pink heart cutout suits. he's fine with robbery and gang violence and murder but draws the line at drug use. he's so serious that it's silly. he's fifteen. boy why are you running italys criminal underworld go hand in your homework

but then he's also an incredibly tragic character he has never ever been close to anyone all he's known is loneliness. and you expect me not to burst into tears????? he wasn't even particularly close with any of passione they were friendly aside from abbacchio because abbacchio is a bitch ass hater who has nothing better to do than pick fights with teenagers (he should meet rohan.. worlds most insufferable yaoi. gay sex would fix everything wrong with both of them so idk maybe they could help eachother out but they would absolutely hate eachother. Anyway.) the closest he is with any of the others is bruno like I talked about earlier but again they only knew eachother for a week or so and their relationship is founded on and primarily revolves around a shared goal. I do picture him getting very close with fugo post canon I would've loved them to have more interactions in canon but the final scene of phf fed me well so I can't complain too much. their personalities work well together I think whether romantically or not they can be the companionship they both desperately need.

not the point but his mother is also a deeply fascinating character to me I wanna see inside her brain. there's her understandable frustration at the loss of her youth due to a child she never planned for and lack of a support system but that frustration leads to complete apathy towards her baby. I don't think she's deliberately malicious she just doesn't care. I don't think she ignores him all the time she probably has moments where she plays with him or shows him to her friends like aww look how cute my baby is but more often than not she leaves him completely alone and that apathy is just cruel. her lack of care then develops into her turning a blind eye to her husband abusing him which okay maybe she didn't notice at first but it gets to a point where you can't not notice. so she just ignores it and tells herself it's strong parenting or whatever and continues gallivanting around living her best life like she doesn't even have a kid. she's awful but I can understand what led her to this point. maam let me into your head I wanna examine it

back to giorno let's talk about gold experience. one of the most interesting abilities in the entire series to me and it's used in such versatile ways similar to crazy diamond which I really like. the ability to Literally Create Life is sooooo everything don't even get me started on religious motifs. in the first fight against bruno gold experience is used to imbue more life into him and iirc that ability is never used again which is a shame. araki loves doing interesting things in the first fight and never addressing them again. I'm looking at you kakyoin. anyway cool stand moving on

now fugo!! so before going into part 5 I had some level of knowledge of the characters from tumblr + friends but I didn't really know anything about him and as I watched he was just kinda there I had no real opinion other than thinking the strawberry theme was cute but then we got to man in the mirror and I was like oh shit. I see the vision. the scene in venice where he chooses to stay behind is soooo good but I was expecting for the whole second half that he would come back and I was really surprised that he didn't but in retrospect that was definitely a good choice even tho im sad we didn't see more of him. his final scene where it cuts to him alone in naples for a minute is sooooo agjghhjhn and then of course there's phf. we'll get to that

I read that araki initially intended for fugo to be a spy for diavolo and giorno would've had to kill him and while that's interesting I'm glad it's not what he went with I think what we actually got is so much more tragic because no one is really in the wrong? but they hurt eachother and fugo has to live with the fact that he lost his friends because he wasn't there and nothing will ever be the same. It will definitely be hard for him post canon especially without bruno because bruno was the first person aside from his grandmother who he was close to and he lost them both!!!! bruno is the one who saved him and bruno is the one who told him they can't survive outside of passione and bruno is the one who told him his loyalty is to passione first and foremost so the events in venice feel even worse to fugo it feels like bruno betrayed him rather than him betraying the rest of them. it's not that fugo doesn't care for the others because he's put himself at risk for them before (man in the mirror etc) but he's very intelligent and rational and when he's not angry he will evaluate the risks of a situation before acting. and here he just can't fathom why bruno and the others would throw everything they have away for a suicide mission to protect one random girl. and then when it's just him and narancia and he feels like shit but at least narancia is there except then he goes on his whole trish is me and I am trish thing and leaves too and fugo just has to watch the boat leave!!!! there's a part in phf which I have to quote because I reached image limit

"Thinking too much...that's why I couldn 't get on the boat! The thought surprised him. He couldn 't get on the boat. Not 'didn't', but 'couldn't.' Was it true? Had he actually wanted to get on the boat? Had he wanted to go with the others? Deep down? But if that's true... That didn't sound like him at all. Buccellati had scouted him, counted on him to stay calm, pick the logical option, minimize losses. No, wait...wait...

The wheels were spinning now. Why hadn't he been able to get on the boat? Because nobody had expected him to. Who hadn't expected him to? Buccellati. But Buccellati had told them to get on the boat... No. No, he didn't say that.

"I won't order you to come with me. I won't even wish for it." Those were his words. That's why Narancia had begged him to order him on board.

So I...took him at his word? Since it wasn't an order, I... Without direct orders, he was expected to chose the course with less peril. Take no unnecessary action until the next opportunity was made clear. Was that why he'd been frozen to the spot? He’d felt like he’d made up his own mind, but had he really been robotically conforming to the common sense drilled into his head since he was born?"

agh. explodes. another thing I find really interesting is how he used to take on orders privately that he knew would hurt bruno and then eventually got abbacchio to help and he's been doing this since he was what. fourteen? thirteen? bruno had been in the mafia almost six years at that point he's reached a point where he's mostly desensitized to murder so what sort of shit would he not be able to take mentally? it's that which fugo took upon himself to do at such a young age what the FUCK.

fugo is so compelling to me he's a kid who's been hurt so much by everyone in his life and he doesn't know how to cope with that and he's so angry at the world and he can't control how he reacts so he lashes out at everyone. he reminds me a bit of my oc rayaan they're both so traumatised and react with anger because what else can they do. except rayaan then has to come to terms with being gay and in love with his roommate slash best friend who is Not Interested and meanwhile all fugos friends die. anyway. his stand is the physical manifestation of his own anger and self loathing and no wonder he hates it!!! can't imagine the pain of your soul being laid bare in front of you and all it can do is hurt. I think he internalises that to a degree his hatred of purple haze reflects his hatred of himself and the world but to a greater level because this is all the worst parts of him. BUT!!!!! at the end of phf when he bites the virus capsule murolo says "Stands reflect the owner's personality, when there's a shift in the psyche, the stand changes too." and then there's this passage which is everything to me

"Purple Haze. His own alter ego. A reflection of his own mind. Another Pannacotta Fugo. It was staring at him.

And for the first time, Fugo stared back. Had its eyes always looked like this? He felt the eyes had been more lonely, before.

Or was that an emotion he’d forgotten somewhere along the way?

Like the bacteria that fill our world, existing without our help, rebuffing all attempts to get rid of them. Something you didn't want, but were, for some reason, certain you could never be free of. A shadow of conflicted emotion.

It looked down at him, and he looked up at it. When he could no longer believe anything, and had nowhere else to go, it would always be at his side. Neither of them said anything."

he's grown so much!!!!! Im stupid emotional rn I need to reread phf in full it's what got me so obsessed with fugo as a character it's sooooo good. the ending... fugo calling giorno giogio... this illustration... the chapter title being "the soldier in love" which of course is referencing trish's song but also you can't tell me that's not talking about fugo especially combined with the final lines???? "I am yours, our giogio" and "Half a step," he said. "If you can't take a step forward, then I'll step halfway to you. Everything hinges on your decision, but if grief anchors your feet, then let me share it."

and THIS LINE??? "Only one person could do something about that. You. Pannacotta Fugo - you were the only person who could do something about this threat. The only person who can change your stand is you." literally what the fuck. sobs dies etc. not to sound insane but I love fugo so much his growth as a person makes me sooooooo emotional. In his last fight in phf he goes "Sheila is me, her anger is my anger" and I think that's a really nice line to summarise his character growth he's now understanding what made narancia chase after the boat sheila is also someone he doesn't know well just like trish was but he decides to risk everything to protect and fight for her he's grown so much in such a short period of time. And I love him.

And with that I'm done!! I still have more to say of course but this is enough for now 💖 very quickly summary of my opinion on other parts

1. I'm gonna be honest all I remember about part 1 is it sent me and my friend down a rabbit hole of those thomas jefferson miku binder esque politician drawings.

2. I like joseph sorry everyone. caejose my world. araki doing gods work by putting them both in cute little crop tops half the time

3. part 3 pisses me off I have so much to say about it but that's a rant for another time. shoutout to holly kujo I luv her

4. I wasn't vibing with part 4 at first it's very slice of life which isn't my preferred genre but after kira shows up it gets REALLY good. I love josuke he's my baby brother fr. I love shinobu

6. jolyne save me FF save me jolyne save me FF save me etc. excited but also scared to finish it 💖

#tia answers #jjba #rin 💖#IM SORRY THIS IS SO LONG BUT I HOPE U ENJOY READING IT... I HAD SO MUCH FUN WRITING

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jujumin-translates · 1 month

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[A3!] ★ Main Story | Act 14 - DREAM CATCHER | Episode 28 - a connection fr

Izumi: Excuse me, I’m Tachibana from MANKAI Company, the person you just contacted.

Coffee Shop Owner: Right, sorry to have bothered you. Just a moment, please.

Coffee Shop Owner: Is this the picture you were looking for?

Coffee Shop Owner: One of the kids working part-time here found it out front and thought it belonged to a customer, so he brought it into the shop for safekeeping.

Misumi: It’s Gramps…! Thank you for finding it…!

Izumi: Thank you so, so much. And if there’s anything we can do to thank the person who picked it up--.

Coffee Shop Owner: No, no, don’t worry about it at all.

Coffee Shop Owner: The kid working part-time already left for the day…

Coffee Shop Owner: He wanted me to tell you that he found your post on social media.

Coffee Shop Owner: Most importantly, he was just glad that something so precious was returned to its owner.

Izumi: We really are sorry. Thank you so much for going through the trouble.

Kumon: This is so great, Sumi-san!

Tenma: Now don’t lose it again.

Yuki: I’ll make something that’s even harder to miss this time.

Misumi: Really, thank you so much, guys…

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Manager: Ahh, thank goodness! Everyone, please hurry! We’re running out of time!

Tenma: We’ll make sure to be ready in time!

Ibuki: Was it the right one?

Misumi: Yeah! Thanks, Ibuki!

Ibuki: If you want someone to thank, thank those guys, not me.

Ibuki: I only did it because they were freaking out and coming at me so hard to help look for it.

Misumi: Guys…

Yuki: We don’t have time to dwell on it. We need to hurry up and get changed.

Kazunari: Right~!

Kumon: Let’s go, let’s go~!

*They run off*

Ibuki: Are things always this chaotic before a show?

Izumi: Ah, n-no, not really-- Well, kind of?

Izumi: But you’re what really saved us, Ibuki-kun. I think everyone can rest easy and give it their all for the opening day of the performance.

Ibuki: …Those guys really are close, huh.

Ibuki: Even though they belong to the same theater company, I thought they’d be like those fake-as-hell business friends.

Izumi: That’s really how they are, inside and out.

Ibuki: I dunno how someone could have that kinda desperation for another person… I’m kinda jealous.

Izumi: When they first me, all they did was fight.

Izumi: But they grew closer little by little, and every time they did a performance together, their bond grew stronger.

Ibuki: …Is that part of the beauty of theater too or whatever?

Izumi: Yep, but it might not just be theater…

Izumi: Outside of their daily lives, they clash with each other during rehearsals and communicate with each other through their plays.

Izumi: And they’ve got a sort of friendly competition going on as they work towards the same goal… I’m sure that all those things are what have deepened their bonds over time.

Ibuki: Nowadays, you can always talk to people on social media if you want to. Want new friends? New connections? It’s all so easy.

Ibuki: Is it really any different from that?

Izumi: I think those kinds of connections are important too, of course. But I think they’re just different types of things.

Ibuki: …

Izumi: I’m sure you’ll find people like that someday too, Ibuki-kun.

Ibuki: …I hope so.

Ibuki: Well, anyway, time for Ibuki to dip.

Izumi: Ah, wait a second! Since you’re already here, do you have a bit more time?

Ibuki: Hm?

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Kumon: Hurry, hurry!

Muku: Just in time…!

Kazunari: We just barely made it~!

Tenma: It’s a full house.

Yuki: And Hakkaku-san?

Misumi: I put him somewhere where I won’t lose him! I asked the staff to look after him!

Kazunari: Okay.

Misumi: Guys, I really am sorry for--.

Tenma: Stop.

Tenma: Instead of apologizing, just focus on making this the best opening day performance ever. Let’s huddle up.

Kazunari: You’ve got it!

Kumon: Scooch in~.

Yuki: That’s too scooched in.

Tenma: I think each of us has grown through taking on different challenges and feeling a lot of different things.

Tenma: We won’t give up on the New Fleur Award or anything else. Let’s do the best we can now and seize it all.

Tenma: …Don’t let anyone say it’s just a fantasy, let’s go to the oasis! It’s time for us to go on an adventure!

Misumi: Yeah~!

Muku: Yeah!

Kazunari: Let’s go~!

Yuki: Yep, yep.

Kumon: Let’s go!

[ ⇠ Previous Part ] • [ Next Part ⇢ ]

#a3!#a3! translation #tenma sumeragi #yuki rurikawa #muku sakisaka #misumi ikaruga #kazunari miyoshi #kumon hyodo #ibuki dozono

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away-ward · 4 months

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I am so sorry to bother you and I have no idea If you’ve answered this before, I tried looking but couldn’t find it, but whats like the run down on what actually happens during devils night in the book? Like what do the four horsemen do? I’ve yet to read the books as I’m already reading a different series but I can literally not find any info on what they do on the night. Feel free to ignore this lol

Yeah, no worries! You're not a bother at all. I've never done a complete run down of what happens. I can't tell if you're asking for like a general idea or a complete break down of the series. Message back if you're looking for something more detailed.

The general idea of Devil's Night, which is not something that originated with this series, is that on the night before Halloween, these kids go out and preform, for the most part, harmless but extreme pranks.

To give a full run down of the events in all four books, keeping in mind that the last one is 650+ pages, would be too much for any one person to do in a single post. I don't even remember all the major plot points or order of evens from Hideaway and Kill Switch.

If you have specific questions that would be considered spoilers, feel free to ask. I have no problem spoiling things.

All four books have the same basic tropes: second chance romance w/ enemies-to-lovers (depending on your definition of enemies), where the mml is seeking revenge for a perceived wrong.

The books:

should be read in series order, as each book builds on what happened in the previous book, with new characters introduced.

are dual povs, and told in a past and present format, with an the chapters from past and present timeline overlapping each other; All events in the books takes place in the month of October, with the climax of events taking place on Devil's Night or around then.

feature sharing/multiple partner scenes, but end with the main couple together (the HEA is up for debate in the fandom, but it's intended to be HEA).

Overview:

The Horsemen are four friends from Thunder Bay, a small affluent town in the Northeastern part of the US. They attended Thunder Bay Prep, and where known for being the best players on the school's basketball team. Some time during their school years, they started the tradition of Devil's Night, where they and their schoolmates spend the night partying and playing pranks. In the series, the Horsemen take the lead in planning and arranging the pranks and events, usually by themselves, letting others join later for the party. They're generally supported by others in the community, barely chastised by law enforcement. Rule of thumb seems to be, as long as they don't kill someone, it's mostly just a fun night that ends in a revelry and sex for those who join in the festivities.

Summary: In Corrupt, the series starts when three of the four Horsemen are released after spending 2.5 years in prison. They were sentenced after pleading guilty when evidence of some of their "pranks" (read as: actual crimes) was released online. They first seek revenge from Rika, former schoolmate and family friend, who they believe to be the source of the leak. But as an intense attraction between the leader of the Horsemen, Michael, and Rika is reignited, new information comes to light that makes them question everything they've been told. From there a new enemy emerges.

In Hideaway, Kai, is he is trying to rebuild his life. At the same time, he is trying to track down their new enemy, who knows some disturbing secrets about him. His efforts reunite him with, Banks, a girl he knew for only one night in his senior year of high school, but with whom he had an extraordinary connection. Banks has a questionable connection to his enemy, and Kai finds it in his best interest to keep her close while looking for more information. During this time, their feelings for each other resurface and in the end they're faced with choosing who they'll prioritize.

In Kill Switch, Damon returns to the spotlight in Thunder Bay when he marries the corrupted former mayor's daughter - just not the one he was sent to prison for sexually assaulting and who has been the object of his obsession since he was eleven, Winter. Damon and Winter met each other as children, when an accident left her blind. She returns to Thunder Bay years later for high school, where Damon takes advantage of her blindness to insert himself into her life. He quickly becomes her confidant and rock. Despite not knowing the identity of her new friend, Winter falls in love. Until she's told the truth. Winter knows that everything that happened between them was consensual, and that the sexual assault charge was because she was underage when he recorded one of their times together. However, she couldn't bring herself to admit it then, and she'll be damned if she gives in him now. However, Damon is a threat, but he's a threat she's never been able to fully resist.

In the final installment, Nightfall, Emory Scott, former classmate of the horsemen and Will's crush, is abducted from her life in San Francisco, and wakes up in a secluded house with five men. Will has been missing from Thunder Bay for over a year. He's in a place few know; a place meant for rich young men who are embarrassments to their public families. While his friend's were growing up, becoming parents and business owners, Will lost himself in drugs, booze, and sex. Locked in a house with men she knows nothing about, except that they're criminals of some kind, Emory looks to Will to be an ally. Only Will wants nothing to do with her, and it's all because lies she told, and how he blames her for the years he spent in prison.

However, nothing with this series is as it seems. There are mysteries and surprise reveals, plot twists galore - some good, some. . . not so good. It's not a perfect series; most readers don't love all of the characters, but say that there was something addicting about the series nonetheless. It's interesting world, and a fun ride to turn your brain off while reading.

Hope this helped. Thank you.

#asked and answered #asked and answer 318 #devil's night series #series discussion #series break down #horsemen of devil's night #women of devil's night

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themanwhomadeamonster · 6 months

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prefacing this by saying i love dd2's soundtrack and i have some of it downloaded on my phone already. but i recognise that it gets a lot of criticism (for good reason too imo) and i am going to explore why that is without trying to sound like a hater 😭 also slight spoilers because i talk about the end credits theme

tl;dr: main title screen theme fucks up perception of the rest of the soundtrack because it's so musically disconnected from everything else

i think the problem with dd2's soundtrack "lacking a (recognisable) leitmotif" isn't that there lacks a leitmotif because there's actually two main ones, both of which stem from the end credits song. this generally isn't a bad thing, though just one is usually standard, there are sets out there where more than one leitmotif is used. the thing is though, in dd2 most of the in-game soundtracks use variations of the chorus melody (cyclops, griffin, some story cinematics, etc.) and quite recognisably too imo which makes sense!, but the (main) title screen uses the melody from the verses.

(side note: before anyone argues that even the chorus leitmotif isn't present in the generic combat soundtracks either, that wasn't the case for dd1/da either (except for the low intensity dd1 combat track) so i think dd2 can be excused on that front. i also think it's good that they didn't use it everywhere in either game because it would get annoying very quickly)

nobody remembers the theme of the dd2 title screen (don't lie, i don't either and i had to crank my brain to recall it when writing this) because you barely hear its leitmotif in-game until the very end during a handful of cinematic cutscenes. i think even the trailer music uses the chorus melody. so you have two competing leitmotifs, and on top of that, the one which SHOULD be memorable because it's the title screen theme is actually very rarely heard in-game. you wouldn't piece this together until the end of the game, AND that's if you even stick around for the credits to let it play!

in ddda, the title screen theme already plays in the first cassardis cinematic AT THE BEGINNING OF THE GAME, in a scene that was emotionally significant early on. those who hand down the story as an ending medley works because it's of two already strongly established themes (cassardis + eternal return). this didn't work with dd2's end credits theme because the two leitmotifs were not established as cohesively by that point. dd2's chosen leitmotifs should've recurred more regularly and in emotionally significant points in the game - even melve by itself and not anywhere else until the end would've been a good opportunity to use the verse motif because it's at the start of the game to hook the player + let them be able to connect it to the main theme, and it also lines up with the end credit's verse's lyrics

so musically i think the dd2 soundtrack is fine. catchy enough and imo memorable that it's an earworm. though i miss the rock/jazz/flamenco elements from the first game, the theme of dd2 as being very high fantasy instead of classic medieval low makes the folk/orchestra/occasional dungeon synth hybrid an appropriate choice to me, and this proves itself as a strength imo in its ambience. the lowkey ethereal dungeon synth of seafloor shrine and ancient battleground soundtracks + post-game ambience is atmospherically amazing. on top of that, i think its identity this time around lies more strongly in the folk instruments style for both vermundian/battahli ambience/combat music, which establishes the high fantasy folk vibe strongly.

unfortunately, the title theme does not reflect this at all LOL being a purely orchestral arrangement only - no folk instruments. into free was weirdly jpop but at least the rock elements did have some place in the soundtrack. as a COHESIVE soundtrack, it sounds very confused with its direction and that in itself is understandably more than enough to fundamentally turn off fans despite the positives. ultimately i think its musical identity would be stronger if the main title theme was changed tbh 😐 (and it did later, but by then it's too late + it only matches post-game vibes not the other 90% of the game). there's a thematic disconnect (conflicting theme/leitmotif until the end credits) as well as stylistic one (in-game folk music vs classic orchestra) which skews expectations of the rest of the soundtrack

additionally, i think due to the wack difficulty scaling - somehow worse than dd1 RIP, the side effect is that we end up hearing the low intensity soundtracks for most of the game and further ng+'s which of course are meant to sound less complex in comparison, which further perpetuates the weak soundtrack perception

#i do appreciate the variations on the eternal return leitmotif in the vermund and cave ambience tracks that's a nice easter egg #i wrote this at 5am sorry if im not clear ahdjsndn #but yeah....... oof the music in this game is so ?¿?¿?¿#dragon's dogma #dragon's dogma 2 #dd2 #dd2 spoilers

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doom-dreaming · 3 months

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no i lied i am going to rant because it's only tangentially-related to the essay and i can't let myself go on tangents there. but i can link this post into it. win-win.

Last Light is not a murder mystery. It has the aesthetic of a murder mystery, but it is not a murder mystery. Why? Because there's no mystery. Not for the readers, which is really what matters. We know by the first few chapters who the killer is and what her motive is. The façade of a murder mystery is blown at that point, because there's nothing for the audience to figure out.

However, it gets weird because the main character...is still (technically) in a murder mystery. She's supposed to be, anyway. She doesn't know what we know. This format can work, dramatic irony is cool and the audience seeing behind the curtain before the sleuth does is a lot of fun...as long as the person crafting the story puts in the work to make sure all the internal logic is still functioning. Denning does not do this. The individual components of a murder mystery are still there, we still have the veneer of the genre, but the sleuth isn't actively solving anything or putting pieces together in a meaningful way.

The whole reason I'm so bothered by Mark being a suspect is that it's a classic red-herring...but for who? Not for the audience, we don't need a red herring, we already know who the killer is. So he's supposed to serve as a red herring for Veta...only there's no logical reason for her to cling to this so hard. He goes from being barely mentioned to being her top suspect at the drop of a hat. Well, the drop of a boulder, really. Because she only starts to suspect the Gammas could be capable of the kind of violence inflicted on the victims once she witnesses Olivia going Hulk Smash(tm).

...but then why Mark specifically? He wasn't the one who raged out. In fact, he never gets brutally violent at all during this novel, even when he's fully off his smoothers and fucking around on his own in the caves. All his kills are clean and precise and well-planned, absolutely nothing like the other murders.

Denning wants us to buy into this so desperately without having any actual, textual support for why Veta herself would believe this. The internal logic isn't there. We don't have anything to connect the final dot from "brutality" -> "enhanced strength" -> "spartans" -> "gamma company enhancements" -> ??? -> "Mark". Why not Ash? Why not Olivia, the one we (and Veta) actually witnessed beating a Sentinel into scrap metal with her bare hands?

All Mark does is make vaguely sinister remarks and remain standoffish. That's it. That's not evidence. That's the author wanting to reinforce a paper-thin plot complication because otherwise this book would be 200 pages shorter than it is.

There's not really any procedure involved for gathering evidence, either. Information drops conveniently into Veta's lap because every other character can't keep their fucking mouth shut. She doesn't have to work for any of it. Hey Denning, if you're gonna write a detective, for the love of god, she better do some fucking detecting. We see attempts at this. But in every conversation where she attempts to """trick""" someone into divulging something, they just talk in circles for a couple lines and then *poof* suddenly they're giving up classified secrets. There's not actually any clever dialogue or process of breaking them down, just the (very poor) illusion of it.

Anyway, now I'm losing the plot. Last Light is just sci-fi action with a whisper of intrigue (and I'm using that word so loosely), dressed up like a murder mystery. Denning can't write smart characters and I feel myself getting dumber the more I try to make sense of it.

#really debating maintagging this one #will i be scaring the hoes #guess we'll find out #halo #halo books #essay reference tag #it's a fun book if you put the same amount of thought into it that denning did #which is to say: none whatsoever #i'm being so salty and i apologize #character analysis hell tag

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analyzingadventure · 2 years

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Ghost Game Episode Guide

This post is an episode guide for Digimon Ghost Game. Some people may not have time to watch all 67 episodes of the series. This post exists to help people pinpoint which episodes of the anime they want to watch and what to skip, as some episodes aren't plot-relevant at all. So get out your 🍿 popcorn 🍿 and let's watch some Ghost Game!

NOTE: I am posting this before the final two episodes of Ghost Game have aired. As I do not know how things will go at the end, there is a possibility I might change the way I've labeled certain episodes once the series is completed.

I do want to note that although Ghost Game sometimes calls back to previous events or characters, I may not label all such episodes as important/reccomended (see: 🦐). Sometimes you have two non-plot relevant episodes connected by a side character who never appears again, sometimes an episode might call back to another episode in a "remember when we had fun" kinda way, where I do not believe having seen the specific episode is nececary to understand the feeling/idea that they are trying to get across.

Here is how episodes have been labeled:

Episodes labeled as 🌟 are the Bare Minimum you should watch for the most bare-bones Ghost Game experience, as this is purely Plot Relevant and nothing else.

Episodes labeled with 🌠 may not be purely plot-relevant, but they may either develop the world of Ghost Game or its characters, sometimes in ways where it may become foreshadowing for things to come.

Episodes labeled with 🧍 are filler with single word lore bombs, and I would frankly reccomend skipping them if you're not desperate for single word lore bombs

Episodes labeled with 🦐 may introduce side plots or characters who might appear in more episodes but aren't plot-relevant and might only appear a few times within other filler episodes. If it's labeled with an additional ❤️, I'd really reccomend watching it, if it's ❌, then I'd really reccomend skipping it.

Unlabeled episodes are filler, some are good, some are bad, regardless, you can skip these.

So for The Bare Minimum experience, watch the 🌟 episodes. If you want to experience all of the sideplots and see every single re-occuring characters, and not miss out on a single crumb of lore, watch all of the 🌟🌠🦐🧍 episodes. Personally I'd reccomend just 🌟🌠 with a few ❤️ labeled 🦐s.

One last thing is that there's TWO versions of this guide below: first there's a spoiler free version with JUST the labels, episode number and title. Further down the post is another copy of the list, but this one will include information about why an episode has been labeled the way it is, as well as highlighting the major Monster of the Week of the episode. (For example, the first episode is labeled 🌟 because it introduces important characters, while the MotW is Clockmon.) I've done this to give extra bit of information about why some episode are/n't skipable, and to help people find specific episodes if one of their favorite Digimon appear in an episode as The Major/Main Monster of the Week. Mind you, these are not full episode summaries, they're summaries done in about 5 words or less.

Episode Guide - Spoiler Free Version

🌟 1. The Sewn-lip Man 🌟 2. The Mystery of the Museum 🌟 3. Scribbles 🌠 4. The Doll’s Manor 🌟 5. Divine Anger 6. The Cursed Song 🌟 7. Birds 🌠 8. Nightly Procession of Monsters 🌟 9. Warped Time

🌟 10. Game of Death 🌠 11. Kamaitachi 🌟 12. Chain Letter 🌟 13. Executioner 🌟 14. Zashiki-warashi 🌟 15. The Fortuneteller’s Manor 🌠 16. The Maneater Forest 17. Icy Hell 18. The Land of Children 🦐 19. The Witching Hour

🌟 20. The Prison of Fire 🌟 21. The Spider’s Lure 🌠🦐 23. Moaning Bug 24. Twisted Love 🌟 25. The Crimson Banquet 🌠 26. Cannibal Mansion 🦐❌ 27. Monster’s Beauty Serum 🌠 28. Face Taker 🌟 29. Monster Pollen

30. Bad Friend 🦐❌ 31. Killer Blade 🦐❤️ 32. Who Are You? 33. Whispers of the Dead 34. Wall Crawlers 🌟 35. Werewolf 36. Labyrinth of Grief 🌠 37. Herd of the Dead 🌟 38. The Diviner 🌟 39. Contagion Island

🌠 40. Spiral Beach 41. Clown 🧍 42. Human Hunter 43. Red Eyes 🦐❌ 44. Rust 45. Ghost Newspaper 🦐 46. Queen's Banquet 🌟 47. Memory of Eternity 🌟 48. The White Bride 🧍 49. The Crimson Harvest Festival 🦐 50. Payback 🌟 51. Headless 52. Mysterious Lake 53. King of Knowledge 54. Second Sight 🧍 55. Bakeneko 🌟 56. Impurity 🌟 57. Ghost Taxi 🌟 58. Pyramid 59. Jiraiya

🌟 60. Water Ghost 🌠🦐 61. Resurrection 🌟 62. The Strange Floor 🌠 63. Gluttony 🌟 64. The Call 🌟 65. The Black Zone of Death 🌟 66. UNAIRED 🌟 67. The Devourer of All

Episode Guide - Spoiler Version

For the Spoiler Version of the Guide, here is a Special Label:

Episodes labeled with 🤘 are for GulusGammamon's Appearances: please note that I do not considder all of GulusGammamon's appearances inherently plot-relevant, they can still be filler.

🌟 1. The Sewn-lip Man (Clockmon) 🌟 2. The Mystery of the Museum (Evolution: BetelGammamon) (Mummymon) 🌟 3. Scribbles (Ruri/Angoramon intro) (Dracumon) 🌠 4. The Doll’s Manor (Angoramon gives exposition) (Pumpmon) 🌟 5. Divine Anger (Kiyoshirou/Jellymon intro) (Majiramon) 6. The Cursed Song (Sirenmon) 🌟 7. Birds (Evolution: KausGammamon) (Yatagaramon) 🌠 8. Nightly Procession of Monsters (Uver can open Gates) (Sistermon Ciel) 🌟 9. Warped Time (Bokomon, Bakumon introduced) (Clockmon again)

🌟 10. Game of Death (Evolution: TeslaJellymon) (Kinkakumon, Ginkakumon) 🌠 11. Kamaitachi (Digimon Community) (Reppamon) 🌟 12. Chain Letter (Evolution: WezenGammamon) (Zassoumon) 🌟🤘 13. Executioner (Evolution: GulusGammamon) (Sealsdramon) 🌟 14. Zashiki-warashi (New chips and a message from Hokuto) (Koemon) 🌟 15. The Fortuneteller’s Manor (Evolution: SymbareAngoramon) (Phelesmon) 🌠 16. The Maneater Forest (Some Digimon are killing humans) (Jyureimon) 17. Icy Hell (Frozomon) 18. The Land of Children (Petermon) 🦐 19. The Witching Hour (Piccolomon introduced as a minor re-occurring character) (Piccolomon)

🌟 20. The Prison of Fire (Gammamon learns to control his evolutions) (DarkLizamon, Saberdramon) 🌟🤘 21. The Spider’s Lure (GulusGammamon) (Archnemon) 22. Nightmare (SkullGreymon, Pilomon) 🌠🦐 23. Moaning Bug (Mummymon returns) (Morphomon) 24. Twisted Love (Ajatarmon) 🌟 25. The Crimson Banquet (Evolution: CanoWeissmon) (Vamdemon) 🌠 26. Cannibal Mansion (MINOR worldbuilding) (Digitamamon) 🦐❌ 27. Monster’s Beauty Serum (Hiro sends his dad a letter) (Splashmon) 🌠 28. Face Taker (There's a timelimit to Perfect evolutions) (Asuramon) 🌟 29. Monster Pollen (Evolution: Thetismon) (Tropiamon)

30. Bad Friend (ExTyrannomon, WaruMonzaemon) 🦐❌ 31. Killer Blade (Musyamon, Zubamon) (Letter sideplot wrap up) 🦐❤️ 32. Who Are You? (Betsumon introduced as a minor re-occurring character) (Betsumon) 33. Whispers of the Dead (Sepikmon) 34. Wall Crawlers (Salamandamon) 🌟 35. Werewolf (Evolution: Lamortmon) (Manticoremon) 36. Labyrinth of Grief (Gigasmon) 🌠 37. Herd of the Dead (Re-examining death) (Rareraremon) (CW: Animal death) 🌟 38. The Diviner (Espimon, Airdramon introduced) (Doumon) 🌟 39. Contagion Island (Ryudamon introduced) (Gyukimon)

🌠 40. Spiral Beach (Gamma character development, Fake Hiro) (Calamaramon) 41. Clown (Technically introduces Ultimates but this is never brought up in the episode itself nor made a big deal of, so this episode can be skipped) (Piemon) 🤘🧍 42. Human Hunter (Single Word Lore Bomb) (Oboromon) 43. Red Eyes (Eyesmon) 🦐❌ 44. Rust (Minor Hokuto Lore, Fukatsu introduced) (Antylamon) 45. Ghost Newspaper (Publimon) 🦐 46. Queen's Banquet (Minor Hokuto Lore) (Oleamon) 🌟 47. Memory of Eternity (Death/Rebirth lore) (Letter to Hokuto 2) (Nanomon) 🌟 48. The White Bride (Evolution: Ginryumon) (Chamblemon) 🧍 49. The Crimson Harvest Festival (Single Word Lore Bomb) (Witchmon) 🦐 50. Payback (Gets referenced in the finale briefly)(Pucchie/MeiCrackmon) 🌟 51. Headless (Letter 2 Follow Up, Digivice upgrade, Warp Evolution unlocked) (DarkKnightmon) 52. Mysterious Lake (Shaujinmon, Gawappamon) (Angora first Warp) 53. King of Knowledge (Ba'almon) (Jelly first Warp) 54. Second Sight (Fujitsumon) 🧍 55. Bakeneko (Bastemon) (Baste almost recognizes Gammamon) 🌟 56. Impurity (Evolution: Siriusmon) (Kuzuhamon) 🌟 57. Ghost Taxi (Lilithmon says things that get called back to multiple times) (Lilithmon) 🌟 58. Pyramid (Evolution: Diarbbitmon) (Ancient Sphinxmon) 🤘 59. Jiraiya (Tonosama Geckomon)

🌟 60. Water Ghost (Evolution: Amphimon) (Cthyllamon) 🌠🦐 61. Resurrection (Hiro obtains MoonMille, reappears once but unsure if plot-relevant) (ZeedMilleniummon) 🌟 62. The Strange Floor (Evolution: HoverEspimon) (ClavisAngemon) 🌠 63. Gluttony (Something Is About To Happen) (Quartzmon) 🌟 64. The Call (Dagomon) 🌟 65. The Black Zone of Death (Rafflesimon) 🌟 66. The Black Dragon of Destruction (BloomLordmon) 🌟 67. The Devourer of All ()

#Digimon #Ghost Game #Digimon Ghost Game #ALRIGHT I FINALLY FINISHED THIS POST #Kinda I need to come back and edit it once the series has actually finished BUT IT'S MOSTLY DONE #Y'all can now go rewatch The Highlights of Ghost Game if you want to

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