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whitewolfofwinterfell · 6 years

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Angel and Cordelia (Cangel) - an in-depth analysis of their relationship

Angel and Cordelia are a ship I never expected to ship before watching Angel, but since finishing the show around November, I’ve fallen in love with them (and the show generally) and wanted to compile a post where I could express all my thoughts and feelings about them. This meta will be very in-depth and is divided into 9 sections:

1. ‘Pensiver Face’: Opposites Attract - Will explore Angel and Cordelia’s personalities and the ways in which these two unlikely characters came together and brought out new and wonderful sides to each other.

2. ‘Help the Helpless’: Finding purpose - Discusses the way in which Angel and Cordelia found purpose in their lives through meeting and the creation of Angel Investigations.

3. ‘We’re family’: Belonging and Family - Insight into how Angel and Cordelia created a family and home with each other that provided them with a sense of belonging (perhaps for the first time in their lives).

4. ‘My Dearest Friend’: Friendship and Love - Looks at Angel and Cordelia’s friendship and how that was at the core of their relationship throughout the series.

5. ‘You’re not alone’: Emotional connection - Uncovers the profound emotional connection Angel and Cordelia established with each other.

6. ‘It’s the stars’: Everyone can see it - Reflects on the common ‘Everyone can see it’ trope and how that was important to Angel and Cordelia’s relationship.

7. ‘Were we in love?’: Romantic love - An exploration of when and how Angel and Cordy’s romantic feelings for each other developed.

8. ‘I’ll be seeing you’: Missed Opportunity - Analyses the writing in seasons 4 and 5, and the ways in which Angel and Cordelia’s relationship was hugely disadvantaged by the writing.

9. ‘There are no people like us’: Why Angel/Cordelia are misunderstood and live in Buffy/Angel’s shadow - Unpicks some of the common misconceptions I’ve seen about Angel and Cordy’s relationship and the how comparisons made between their relationship and Buffy and Angel’s is unfair and does a disservice to both couples.

As you can see, section 9 does discuss Buffy and Angel, because I really couldn’t discuss Angel and Cordelia without also talking about Angel’s relationship with Buffy since she was so significant to Angel. It won’t be anti-Buffy/Angel (because I’m a huge Bangel shipper, as anyone that follows me will know), but I just wanted to give a warning for those that are a big fan of the ship as you might not want to read. However, the primary focus throughout will be on Angel and Cordelia’s relationship on ATS (I don’t really give much focus to BTVS since their interactions were so brief and lacking).

Before we get into it, I wanted to say this post is long, (coming in at around 9k words, whew! I had more to say than I realised), so if you’re interested in reading you might want to grab a drink or a snack and make yourself comfortable.

1. ‘Pensiver Face’: Opposites Attract

What makes Angel and Cordelia’s relationship so special is that it’s between two unlikely characters who, on the surface are polar opposites, but that compliment each other beautifully. Cordelia was specifically chosen to be a regular on ATS because she was the opposite to Angel - Whedon stated that Cordelia’s bright smile was needed to counteract Angel’s broody persona (x). The fundamental differences in Angel and Cordelia’s personalities meant that together they brought out different sides to each other. Angel was known for being reserved, contemplative, melancholy, deep and pessimistic, whilst in contrast Cordelia was known for being outgoing, bubbly, outspoken, shallow and optimistic.

Both characters came to ATS season 1 displaying these characteristics which they were well-known for on BTVS, but through meeting each other, they changed. Angel smiled more with Cordelia than arguably any other character in the Buffyverse (x) (x) (x) (x). Her infectious personality, witty sense of humour and straight-talking attitude coaxed him out of his shell. Also, because he was more submissive by nature, Angel responded to Cordelia’s assertiveness - she wasn’t afraid to take charge, call him out on things, make demands of him and ensure he stayed on the right path. She was the one that took charge of the business, launching Angel Investigations from practically nothing; she persuaded Angel that he should pay Gunn for working with them; she didn’t easily relent after he fired her, Wesley and Gunn; she told him he needed to set boundaries with Fred when she had a crush on Angel to prevent Fred from getting hurt; she held him accountable for getting Darla pregnant in season 3; she consistently encouraged him to fight for Connor no matter how hopeless or difficult it became and even in her brief return in season 5 she continued with this pattern. She straight up told Angel that he’d lost his way, lost sight of their mantra to help the helpless and had become entangled in the messiness of W&H. In doing so, she set Angel back on the right path. It’s strange because generally people view Angel as having more positive traits than Cordelia, but despite his good intentions, he was more prone to giving up and wallowing than Cordelia. Angel was more malleable, more willing to accept the bad in the world whilst Cordelia, on the other hand, persevered no matter what obstacles came her way and was firm in her morals. She knew what she believed to be good and she didn’t stray from that no matter what. That clear-cut attitude really helped Angel, who being a vampire and having seen so much evil, often become lost in the blurriness between good and evil, and became disheartened about fighting the good fight on numerous ocassions. Cordelia was truly Angel’s centre of gravity and moral compass - she was the one he relied on most in his redemptive journey and helping the helpless. That’s why throughout the series there was such a heavy emphasis on Angel needing Cordy (x) and why he proclaimed to be lost without her. Angel needing Cordelia was also demonstrative of a deeper emotional connection between them, which I’ll discuss later on.

Whilst Angel and Cordelia’s differences helped/changed Angel, they did the same for Cordy. Cordelia as a person was very focused on superficial gratification. She sought popularity and status, and she enjoyed money and material objects because of the pleasure they brought her. Her desire to become an actress reflects those desires she had. Although Cordelia demonstrated on BTVS that she was much more than the stereotypical popular-shallow girl she was portrayed to be (x), she wasn’t inclined to be considerate of others and empathy didn’t come naturally to her. In comparison, Angel spent a majority of his time thinking of others and had a wealth of empathy, for everybody regardless of whether they were those he loved or strangers; good or bad. There’s no doubt that the visions were a large part of what enabled Cordelia to be more empathetic since she was quite literally experiencing the traumas of others, but being close to Angel also impacted this. Until Cordelia became friends with Angel (and Doyle, Wes and Gunn), she’d never really been prioritised or cared for unconditionally. Angel’s kindness, consideration and support enabled Cordelia to open up emotionally in a way she never had before, not just to those closest to her, but to everybody. Ironically, a vampire (albeit a vampire with a soul) was the deepest insight Cordelia had gained into humanity. Angel devoted himself to helping others and Cordelia witnessed first-hand the positive impact that had on others and the rewards it brought. Whilst she fought against evil alongside the Scoobies on BTVS, it was being part of Angel Investigations that truly showed her the true meaning of fighting. It gave her purpose and belonging, which in turn allowed her to blossom in an entirely new way.

2. ‘Help the Helpless’: Finding purpose

Despite being different in many ways, Angel and Cordelia had one main thing in common - they were both seeking purpose, meaning and belonging in their lives at the start of ATS - and they found that with each other.

On BTVS Angel went through a traumatic ordeal with losing his soul, being killed by the woman he loved, being trapped in a hell dimension, coming back to life and then having to break up with Buffy. After Angel was cursed and his soul was restored, he retreated into the shadows and lived like a hermit for a century. He no longer belonged in the vampire or the human world, and he was so consumed with the guilt about his actions as Angelus that he was paralysed. He lived a lonely and purposeless existence - until the moment he saw Buffy. Buffy symbolised hope for Angel, because she was destined to fight evil and helping her provided him with a purpose for the first time in decades and I strongly believe that this (amongst other reasons) is why he fell in love with her. So when he split up with her and left for L.A. he lost his purpose along with Buffy. It’s clear that Angel’s time with Buffy and the Scoobies had been so significant to him that he couldn’t return to the life he had before he met Buffy, he needed to continue helping people, but he didn’t know how. Meeting Doyle immediately provided him with a sense of purpose by providing him with a connection to the HP, but as I already mentioned above, Cordelia really cemented that. Although Doyle knew he and Angel had a mission that they needed to work on together, he didn’t know how to make that a reality. Cordelia’s practicality, pragmatism and organisation is what took an idea - helping the helpless - and made it a reality - Angel Investigations. Like I said, Angel knew he wanted to help others but he didn’t really have a plan. When Angel Investigations was born, it became so much more than simply helping the odd person in distress after having stumbled upon them by chance. It became an indefinite commitment and mission which provided Angel with a true purpose - a purpose he realised was the singular most important thing to him in ‘Epiphany’ (2x16).

Cordelia was also in a similar place to Angel when she arrived in L.A. at the start of ATS. During her time on BTVS Cordelia’s character was built upon her status in high-school - she was pretty, rich and popular. Although she wasn’t afraid to stand up for what she believed in (such as defending Xander against her HS friends), she generally sought the approval of others. In HS Cordelia felt that she was somebody and that really came from her popularity and status. However, she admitted that that popularity came with a downside and that she was in fact, very lonely as a result of it (x). Cordelia’s experience in her relationship with Xander only fuelled that loneliness she felt because she isolated herself from her friends to be with him, and when he cheated on her, her ‘friendships’ with the rest of the Scoobies were revealed to be superficial in nature and quickly broke down. By the time she came to ATS, she had left high school and therefore was without her boyfriend (Xander), friends and the status that HS afforded her. This explains why she was on a mission to become a famous actress - to reclaim that status that she’d lost but on an even grander scale. The problem with this is that regardless of how shallow Cordy may have appeared, she clearly craved more than just popularity, fame or money. She’d already had that but it hadn’t fulfilled her. Enter Angel. Cordelia saw that Angel (and Doyle) needed guidance and that she could bring something important to the table. When she joined Angel and Doyle and set up Angel Investigations, she found her purpose just like Angel did. Initially, Cordelia’s desire to stick with Angel may have been because she didn’t have any other particularly appealing options, but it became so much more than that and by the end of season 1 Cordelia was wholly devoted to helping the helpless (x). In ‘Disharmony’ (2x17) she told Harmony that despite the popularity she had at HS, she was happier than she’d ever been because of the work she was doing, and having that sense of purpose came from meeting Angel. ‘Birthday’ (3x11) further reaffirmed this, when Cordelia chose being with Angel and helping the helpless over her dream of being a famous actress.

The creation of Angel Investigations (not just the business but also the family) wouldn’t have happened if Angel and Cordelia hadn’t of come together in the way they did. From the beginning, they were the heart of everything it was and when Angel lost Cordy in season 5, he admitted that he lost his way and was lost without her (again, this beckons back to Cordy being Angel’s centre of gravity). Poetically, Cordelia kissing Angel in ‘You’re Welcome’ (5x11) and passing on the vision to him quite literally set Angel (and co.) on the path to their final battle and brought purpose back into his life. But in addition to bringing purpose to each other’s lives through their shared mission of helping the helpless, they brought something else, perhaps more significant - belonging and family.

3. ‘We’re family’: Belonging and Family

Although Angel and Cordelia had bonds with others prior to ATS - Angel had relationships with Darla, Dru, Spike, Buffy; Cordelia with Harmony, Xander and the Scoobies - they never had with anyone else what they found with each other (and the rest of Angel Investigations) (x). In season 1 Cordelia referred to Angel as being her family and Angel reiterated that later in the series. The unconditional support, acceptance and care Angel and Cordelia had towards one other was unlike anything they’d had in any of their previous relationships (particularly for Cordelia).

Angel prioritised Cordelia, he devoted himself to keeping her safe (x) (x), he was always concerned for her well-being and he took the time to get to know her as a person. He didn’t like Cordy because of her status or popularity, he liked her for her and he expressed that numerous times - he told her he liked both versions of her (old and new), that she was an extraordinary woman and that he’d never known anybody like her (x) (x). Likewise, Cordelia accepted Angel - warts and all - without white washing his past or being ignorant to his darkness. She knew Angelus had done terrible things, and that Angel wasn’t immune from making mistakes and she held him accountable for that. But she also encouraged Angel to be open with her about that side of himself, telling him to drink blood in front of her and reassuring him that she and Doyle wouldn’t judge his vamp face (x). Cordelia came face to face with Angelus multiple times and she knew that even with a soul Angel had the capacity for darkness, but she still saw the good in him and believed it out-weighed the bad. She was never under any false illusions that Angel was perfect and that’s why she was firm in her promise that if needs be she would stake Angelus without hesitation.

It’s really that unconditional support and acceptance that led them to consider each other family. What’s most significant about this is that neither of them really had that before ATS. Angel (Liam) grew up in a volatile family situation with an abusive father and Cordelia’s family was so insignificant in her life that we only had a few references to them throughout the course of BTVS and ATS and not a single appearance from them. Neither of them really had a true home or family until they found each other. The friendship they found with each other (and the rest of Angel Investigations) truly was one of the most beautiful things that ever happened to either of them and provided them with a true home for the first time in their lives. In fact, in season 4 Angel explicitly said when Cordelia was missing “We’ll do whatever it takes to bring her home, where she belongs”, which perfectly sums up the title for this section about belonging and family. The bond they forged was one of the first they established with another that felt completely secure and contented (which is also why Cordelia reacted so negatively to him abandoning her, Wes and Gunn in season 2 over Darla), because at it’s core it was a friendship built upon familial love, which in my opinion, is the strongest and most enduring love there is.

4. ‘My Dearest Friend’: Friendship and Love

The most common argument I’ve seen against Angel and Cordelia as a romantic ship is, “They should’ve just stayed friends, they were better that way”. My issue with this is that Angel and Cordelia didn’t just fulfil one or the other - friendship or romance - they fulfilled both and so much more (x). What makes Angel and Cordelia’s relationship so special is that they morphed from acquaintances, to coworkers, to confidantes, to friends, to family, to lovers and were often some (or all) of these things to each other at once. Their feelings for each other cannot be boxed in, because they encompass so much, but there is no disputing that they loved each other.

Angel and Cordy had a profound connection spanning across the entirety of ATS, that no amount of words I type can quite express. They were a constant presence in each others’ lives for years, they were by each others’ sides through some of the most significant events of their lives and they shared it all - the highs and lows, the good and bad. Even when their romantic feelings came into fruition, their friendship remained unchanged. Nothing could change that fundamental dynamic between them or the ease with which they communicated and bounced off of one another. Any scene between Angel and Cordy has a natural chemistry (the nature of that chemistry is up to interpretation), and even when Angel was a awkward, bumbling and flustered fool, their interactions never felt strained or uncomfortable. This is because they knew each other so well and were so attuned to each other, but also because their relationship was already so well established by the time they realised they had romantic feelings for each other that there was no danger of those feelings complicating or endangering that friendship. It’s why in ‘Spin the Bottle’ (4x06) Angel told Cordelia that she was his dearest friend and he wanted that back. He was able to push aside his romantic feelings and desires because her friendship was more important to him than anything else.

Some may claim it’s weird for two people who referred to each other as family to be in love with each other, but when you’re in love with someone they are your family. The fact that Angel and Cordelia had that kind of connection provided them with the closeness, comfortableness, familiarity and security for those romantic feelings to blossom. Angel, in particular, had an aversion to romance because of The Curse and his experience with Buffy, but he felt so safe with Cordelia that it’s almost like he allowed himself to feel that way about him. Likewise, Cordelia was rather guarded in matters of the heart given her romantic history with Xander, but she felt so safe with Angel that she was able to finally open herself up in that way without even really realising she was. That profound connection between them can’t really be quantified, but can be seen in their actions.

5. ‘You’re not alone’: Emotional connection

When I say that it would do them a disservice to try and box Angel and Cordelia’s relationship into the platonic or romantic arena, that’s because of the emotional connection they shared which extends beyond such labels.

According to Wiki, ‘Emotional intimacy is a psychological event that happens when trust levels and communication between two people are such that it fosters the mutual sharing of one another's deepest selves.’ It involves trust, mutual trust, sense of community, understanding, open communication and sharing a duty. As you read this I’m sure you’re realising that Angel and Cordelia had all of this. They lived in close proximity day after day for years - they worked together, they fought together, they laughed together, they loved the same people (Doyle, Wes, Gunn, Fred, Connor), they grieved together (for Doyle and Connor), they shared the same beliefs and morals and they were united in the same mission to help the helpless. All of this led to them developing a profound emotional connection whereby they came to rely on each other and trust each other, and were able to open up to each other without fear of judgement or rejection (x). Throughout the series Angel and Cordy had multiple heart to hearts in which they confided in each other, encouraged or reassured each other and those talks became more regular as their connection grew. Something as simple as Angel calling Cordelia ‘Cordy’ (which he didn’t do until ATS ‘Are You Now or Have You Ever Been?’ 2x02) demonstrated that developing connection between them.

Again, it would be futile for me to list every example of when Angel and Cordelia had a scene that showed this emotional connection (particularly since you’ll have seen them all if you’ve watched the show), but off the top of my head some key examples would be - Cordelia helped Angel open up about Doyle’s death after Angel accidentally called Wesley Doyle; Cordelia helped Angel to open up about Buffy’s death after he’d spent 3 months trying to come to terms with it; when Cordelia fell ill from a vision Angel reassured her that her value to him wasn’t invested solely in her visions; generally Angel supported Cordelia repeatedly through the trauma of her visions; after Connor was born Angel developed an overly-protective paternal instinct and wouldn’t let anybody hold him, and Cordelia was the first he allowed to hold him; after Connor’s kidnapping Cordelia was able to simply sit with him in the silence and provide the emotional support no one else could and when Angel was insecure about bonding with Connor (after his return) she reassured him he was a capable and loving father.

Nothing showed the depth of that emotional connection more than the beginning of season 4 when Angel was at the bottom of the ocean. In order to hold on to his sanity, Angel repeatedly dreamt of Cordelia in various romantic scenarios and admitted to Wes and Gunn when he returned that the one thing that had kept him holding on was the thought of returning home to Cordelia. Cordy and his love for her was the tether to his humanity, his hope when everything was hopeless, his light in the dark.

I could continue exploring this because their emotional connection is demonstrated in nearly every scene they have together, but the point has been made that Angel and Cordelia consistently opened up to one another and were by each other’s sides through the hardest of times. Although they both had the rest of Angel Investigations (Wesley, Gunn, Fred and Lorne), they primarily turned to each other in their time or need or when they were feeling low. They instinctively knew what to do/say to ease each other’s insecurities, fears or anxieties and were each other’s source of emotional strength. What’s even more significant about this is that their connection was so profound, that even those around them noticed it.

6. ‘It’s the stars’: Everyone can see it

‘Everyone can see it’ is a popular romantic trope whereby a couple are perfect for each other but don’t realise their feelings for one another, but everyone else around them does. This was an integral part of Angel and Cordelia’s relationship since they found it very difficult, as friends, to make sense of their romantic feelings for each other and to acknowledge those feelings.

The first person to notice the chemistry between Angel and Cordelia was Fred in ‘Offspring’ (3x07). After seeing them sparring Fred spoke about kyrumption (two heroes meeting in battle and recognising their same fate) and moira (the gut physical attraction between two larger-than-life souls). Angel’s feelings for Cordelia had already been present long before then, but Fred’s observations provided him with an opportunity to acknowledge them for the first time and reflect on them.

Lorne being an empath naturally had an insight into Angel’s feelings and in ‘Waiting in the Wings’ (3x13) he revealed that he’d read Angel and knew he had feelings for Cordelia. Like Fred, he also spoke of kyrumption and told Angel that the way he was feeling for Cordelia was real. Lorne consistently was attuned to Angel’s feelings for Cordelia and understood that they’d grown beyond friendship. He also actively encouraged Angel to act on them because he believed Cordelia felt the same way about him and he shouldn’t miss the chance to see what they could be.

I watched ‘Waiting in the Wings’ with commentary from Whedon last week and in that he explained that the spell was a way for Angel and Cordelia to act on the feelings they had for each other (that they were only just starting to realise) in a way whereby they didn’t actually have to admit that they had those feelings and wanted to act on them (because they were afraid of the consequences). Fred and Lorne’s observations are very much the same - they’re a conduit through which Angel was able to internally explore his growing romantic feelings for Cordy and slowly come to the realisation that he was in love with her.

7. ‘Were we in love?’: Romantic love

Although I’ve been primarily focused on the general connection between Angel and Cordelia and what they brought to each other’s lives, there was definitely romantic love and attraction between the two of them and it’s important to discuss that.

I think when people compare Angel and Cordy’s relationship to Angel’s relationship with Buffy people feel Angel’s love for Cordelia wasn’t romantic or passionate, but it was, it’s just that the love he had for Cordy and their relationship was so fundamentally different from his relationship with Buffy that the two can’t really be compared. Buffy was Angel’s epic, great love - it consumed him from the inside out, it was intense, passionate and devastating - but Cordy was something entirely different. She wasn’t supposed to be some big epic love, she was supposed to be a friend with whom he developed a strong bond with and slowly came to fall in love with over time. Their love wasn’t characterised by angst-ridden scenes, grand speeches of forbidden love and sexual tension - it was grounded in family, friendship and emotional connection (as I’ve explored above). Their feelings for each other weren’t sudden and didn’t start out big (they truly were just acquaintances at the start of ATS season 1), but as they spent time together, shared experiences and got to know each other, their romantic feelings quietly grew in the background until neither of them could ignore it anymore.

It’s frustrating that we never got a clear admission of love between the two (all of their love confessions were to other people or cut off before they finished), but there is no doubt in my mind that Angel and Cordelia were in love. Their actions proved that and from a personal perspective, I could feel the love between them. Everyone will have different interpretations of when they believe the pair fell in love, but interestingly, I don’t think there’s supposed to be ‘one moment’ that they fell in love, because the whole point of their relationship is that it was never that clear cut. They didn’t go to bed one night as best friends and wake up the next day a think, “I’m in love with Angel/Cordelia!”. It was a subtle evolution of feelings over time, which neither of them truly noticed until it was brought to their attention by others, because they were so used to being friends and navigating within the realms of that, that they didn’t consider the possibility that their feelings could have gone beyond that.

Since ATS was primarily focused on Angel’s POV, it’s very easy to follow Angel’s evolving feelings for Cordelia and attempt to pin-point the moment at which his romantic feelings came to fruition. Like I said, I don’t think there was one particular moment where Angel realised his feelings for Cordelia, but in my opinion, they had definitley developed by ‘Dead End’ (2x18). At the beginning of season 2, Angel had a crisis due to Darla’s return and he fired Cordelia, Wesley and Gunn. It was really the darkest we saw Angel get in ATS whilst he had his soul, he truly lost his way for a while and Cordelia was so hurt and angry by his actions that she couldn’t forgive him. When Angel finally realised he’d made a mistake cutting his friends out of his life, he did everything he could to make amends, but he seemed most affected by the loss of Cordelia’s friendship and he was determined to earn her forgiveness. What’s interesting about this is that at this point one could argue that Angel’s friendship with Cordelia wasn’t that profound and it didn’t particularly matter if they made up, because they still could’ve worked together as co-workers (although it might’ve been a little awkward and uncomfortable). But Angel was adamant that he wanted her friendship back and almost the entirety of ‘Epiphany’ (2x16) was focused on Angel’s desire to make amends with Cordy and his devastation when she refused to accept him back. This continued in ‘Disharmony’ (2x17), with him desperately fighting to earn her forgiveness and ending with him winning Cordelia over by buying her clothes, which he was visibly happy about (x). Angel’s reaction at the prospect of losing Cordelia beckons back to ‘To Shanshu to L.A.’ (1x22) when we witnessed for the first time how scared he was to lose her and also suggests that at this point in season 2 his romantic feelings were developing for her. In the following episode ‘Dead End’ (2x18), he was so focused on making Cordelia feel better (and this was likely a continuation of him making it up to her) that he brought her food and his reaction to her saying she loved him was perhaps the brightest smile I’ve ever seen on Angel’s face (x). In ‘Belonging’ (2x19), Angel’s attraction to Cordelia was made clear when he saw her in a bikini and he also expressed anger at the director of the commercial she was filming for treating her like a ‘commodity’ and a ‘slave’, forcing him to apologise to Cordelia for the way he spoke to her and telling Cordelia he would rip his head off if she wanted him to. When Cordelia was sucked into the portal to Pylea in ‘Over the Rainbow’ (2x20), Angel’s profound emotional connection to Cordelia was clear (x) - he just wanted her back, he didn’t care how or what they had to do and he expressed that he couldn’t lose Cordy again after just getting her back (also that one line, ‘It’s Cordy’, that Angel says to Wesley when he tells Angel it’s too dangerous to go through the portal and they may never get back holds so much emotion). When Cordelia admitted to loving Groo in Pylea, Angel mistakenly thought she was saying it to him and was disappointed to learn otherwise. So basically, by the end of season 2 Angel undoubtedly had romantic feelings for Cordelia, but wasn’t yet aware of them. Season 3 continued to build on that by allowing Angel to heal following Buffy’s death and reach a resolution in ‘Heartthrob’ (3x01) whereby he could start to process his feelings for Cordy, putting him a situation where he was faced with the prospect of losing her again, therefore cementing the depth of his feelings for her (‘That Vision Thing’ 3x02) and having Fred share her observations about his feelings for her, finally allowing him to fully acknowledge them for the first time.

From Cordelia’s POV it’s much harder to guess when her romantic feelings for Angel developed, because we didn’t get as much insight into her. I do think her feelings for him didn’t come as soon as Angel’s did for her and neither did the realisation that she felt that way. ‘That Vision Thing’ (3x02) hints that Cordelia’s feelings for Angel may have begun to grow beyond friendship when she said, “If I lose the visions I wouldn't be able to help you anymore. You wouldn't need me.” Notice, Cordelia was concerned with Angel needing her, not the rest of the team. Also, since Angel was so devoted to saving Cordelia and explicitly told her she was more important to him than his vendetta against W&H, we can assume this impacted Cordelia’s feelings towards him since this was perhaps the first time she noticed how committed he was to keeping her safe and how much he wanted her in his life. I also think that witnessing Angel go through the process of becoming a father significantly impacted Cordy’s feelings for Angel. Seeing him take on the role of a father showed an even softer, nurturing side of him and the bond Cordy developed with Connor also brought them closer together. However, ‘Birthday’ (3x11) is the first episode that properly affirms the depth of Cordelia’s feelings for Angel. She was given everything she ever wanted - fame, money, stardom - and she gave it all up to return to Angel. Despite having no memory, upon seeing Angel so broken, Cordelia instinctively leaned in and kissed him fulfilling the old fairy-tale trope of true love’s kiss breaking the spell. I think from Cordelia’s POV, she was much more closed off to allowing herself to acknowledge her romantic feelings for Angel because she didn’t even consider Angel a romantic option given The Curse. This also explains why upon Groo’s return in season 3, she resumed her relationship with him despite having clearly developed profound romantic feelings for Angel that led her to prioritise him above Groo repeatedly to the point that Groo himself noticed that she had feelings for Angel.

This brings me back to the main point about Angel and Cordelia’s romantic feelings for each other never being straightforward or easily defined. In ‘Waiting in the Wings’ (3x13) it was clear - spell or no spell - that Angel and Cordelia shared a mutual sexual attraction and that Angel’s canonically confirmed romantic feelings for Cordelia were reciprocated. Yet Cordelia didn’t confirm her feelings for him explicitly to the audience until 9 episodes later in the finale of the season. This is for a number of reasons, but primarily because it was easier to continue denying their feelings and remain friends than face the complications that a romance posed. Even if they had been given the chance to openly express their feelings for each other, what would’ve happened next? As Angel said to Lorne in ‘Waiting in the Wings’, what could he offer her (as a cursed vampire)? It would’ve been too complicated and they knew that.

That criss-cross and complexity of their love is part of the reason I love them so much, because it’s authentic and relatable. Particularly in the case of friends who have fallen in love - it’s no easy transition and it’s definitely not easy to make sense of your feelings Plus, Angel and Cordy had the added complications that went with their life (Angel being a vampire, The Curse, Darla, their friends, Angel Investigations, W&H and the supernatural world generally, to name a few). In an interview a long time ago SMG said that the most heartbreaking thing about Buffy and Angel was that it was unfulfilled love, and in this respect so are Angel and Cordelia. It’s heartbreaking because they truly loved one another but they were never even given the opportunity to see what they could potentially be. They missed their chance and because of that they were always left wondering ‘what if?’

8. ‘I’ll be seeing you’: Missed Opportunity

The fact that Angel and Cordy never got their shot to be together (which they discussed in ‘You’re Welcome’ 5x11) is the tragedy of their love. However, it wouldn’t be the same love story if it didn’t have that unresolved element to it. Everybody longs for closure and resolution with their ships, but the truth is, in real life few people truly get that, they simply have to move on and live with their regrets. But whilst I love Angel and Cordelia’s relationship and story as it is, there’s no escaping the fact that they were done dirty in seasons 4 and 5 in regards to the writing and as a result their story did go in a...shall we say unfavourable direction?

Everyone that’s ever watched ATS has problems with season 4 (I could write a separate post about the problems with season 4, particularly in regards to Cordelia’s character), and when it comes to Angel and Cordelia’s relationship, there’s a lot that was handled badly which unfortunately, derailed the beautiful development that took place between them in season 3. We still had a lot of key moments that played out between Angel and Cordelia in season 4, but the main problem with the season is that we don’t actually know when Cordelia was actually Cordelia. At what point was she herself, if she ever was? Did she really have amnesia? If so, can we count amnesia!Cordy as still being Cordy to an extent? When did Jasmine start to take over? Did she have any agency at all when she was possessed by Jasmine, even if it was only the briefest of moments? All of these questions remain unanswered and make it very difficult to fully assess the Angel/Cordelia relationship during season 4, but I’m going to try to anyway.

What remained clear throughout season 4 was that Angel loved Cordy. In fact, despite Cordelia technically being absent for the majority of the season, it was very Cangel-heavy, perhaps more than the seasons before it. Angel had multiple dreams/fantasies about Cordelia, devoted himself to finding her when she was missing at the start of the season, was visibly distraught to have her lose her memories and strike up a relationship with Connor, and lost his soul from a fantasy of making love to her. In my opinion, this is the season that really affirmed that Angel was in love with Cordy beyond any doubt. When Angel asked Cordelia if they were in love and she replied, “We were”, I strongly believe that was Cordelia. She’d just gotten her memories back so Jasmine hadn’t had chance to worm her way to the forefront yet, and I believe in that moment that was Cordelia finally breaking through and telling Angel that she loved him. Although the circumstances are ambiguous to say the least, I believe this to be the first admission of love exchanged between the two whereby the words were said plainly (because obviously they said ‘I love you’ to each other repeatedly before this moment in other ways). However, this doesn’t undo the dirty that was done to Angel and Cordelia in this season. Despite the fact that we know Cordelia wasn’t responsible for any of her actions since she was possessed by Jasmine, it’s still very hard when watching her with Connor to separate Jasmine from Cordelia. And from Angel’s perspective, he literally watched the woman he loved have sex with his son. Finding out afterwards that it wasn’t actually Cordelia doesn’t reduce the devastating impact of witnessing that and the way the Cordelia!Jasmine arc was written did taint some aspects of their relationship by forcing Angel to have to witness ‘Cordelia’ enter into a romantic relationship with Connor and have a child with him. Also, it was utterly ridiculous and unbelievable that Angel and co. wouldn’t recognise that Cordy wasn’t herself. This is definitely a writing issue, because the whole possession thing was handled so badly in the respect that Cordelia seemed like herself (even her sleeping with Connor was believable due to her amnesiac state), but it was still not in-keeping with the show that none of her friends (and especially Angel) would notice that Cordelia was possessed. Overall, season 4 did a huge disservice to Angel and Cordelia’s romance (although the biggest disservice was definitely done to Cordelia’s character) and whilst their relationship was beautifully developed in seasons 1-3, season 4 stopped that development in its tracks.

Season 5 continued to do a disservice to Cordelia (and Angel and Cordelia) by practically erasing Cordy from existence (I know that backstage issues with the cast need to be taken into consideration here, but the lack of consideration to Cordelia’s character is still a valid point to discuss). Despite how utterly terrified Angel was whenever faced with the prospect of losing Cordelia, in season 5 he was visibly fine about Cordelia being in a coma and wasn’t even attempting to pull her out of it. The fact that Angel (and co.) would simply stand by and go on with the rest of their lives without devoting every single second to waking Cordy is ridiculous and completely OOC for all of them. Angel, Wes, Gunn, Fred, Lorne and Cordy were deeply connected and would have done anything for each other, and there’s no way they would’ve given up on Cordy like that. But back to the point, despite Angel being in love with Cordelia throughout season 4, there was no reference to his feelings for her until ‘You’re Welcome’ (5x11). Now, don’t get me wrong, I love that episode and I always will, but I also can’t help but notice how out of place that episode feels within the rest of the season. In the episodes leading up to it Cordelia was barely mentioned and in the episodes afterwards, her death was completely ignored with only a few passing references from Angel near the end of the season (don’t even get me started on the fact that she didn’t even get a funeral. What the hell was that all about?!?!? This is Cordy.) Furthermore, Angel reverted back to being actively in love with Buffy (particularly in ‘The Girl in Question’ 5x20, which is honestly such a bad episode, I can’t even) with no consideration given to the fact that he had feelings for Cordelia. Personally, I believe all of these consistencies come from fan pandering - the reaction to Angel and Cordelia becoming a couple was very negative so they reverted back to the Angel/Buffy relationship because it was so popular and well-loved. But back to, ‘You’re Welcome’, the episode definitely redeemed some of what was done to Cordelia (and her relationship with Angel) by giving her/them a satisfying ending after an horrendous season 4, but nothing can truly make up for the fact that Angel and Cordelia’s relationship was so abruptly ended in the manner it was. It also can’t make up for the fact that we missed out on two entire seasons worth of development that we would’ve potentially got if the Jasmine plot hadn’t taken place (again, I understand this was largely down to behind-the-scenes complications with Charisma and Whedon).

These flaws in the writing (and execution of the relationship) in seasons 4 and 5 is far and above my biggest criticism of Angel and Cordelia’s relationship as a whole (although it’s a criticism of the writers more so than Cordelia and Angel or David and Charisma). It never would have made sense for Angel and Cordy to have a plain sailing fairy-tale romance, but they had so much more potential and could have grown to become something even more beautiful if season 4 had continued to build upon their development from seasons 1-3. ‘You’re Welcome’ perfectly demonstrates the potential they had and what they could’ve become if Cordelia hadn’t been possessed by Jasmine. And that was only a taster and we could’ve had, we could’ve so much more. In my opinion, there were no limits on where their relationship could have been taken since it was so well written, built-up and established leading up to season 4. The fact that we’ll never know how the relationship would’ve played out if it had continued is sad, but as I said, that missed chance that they had is key to Angel and Cordelia’s relationship. It’s the one that got away, the love that could never be and that one person whom we always wonder, “What if?” about.

9. ‘There are no people like us’: Why Angel/Cordelia are misunderstood and live in Buffy/Angel’s shadow

The final section I wanted to do is an exploration of the reasons why I feel Cordelia and Angel are misunderstood as a ship and how I believe this primarily stems from the fact that they live in Buffy/Angel’s shadow. This is where I’ll be comparing Angel/Cordelia and Buffy/Angel, so if you’re a fan of Buffy/Angel, you may not want to read this final section. However, this isn’t anti-Buffy/Angel, it’s really me working through my own thoughts and feelings as both a Buffy/Angel and a Angel/Cordelia shipper (yes, we exist haha).

People have a tendency to make comparisons between the Angel/Cordelia and Buffy/Angel relationship two relationships, when in reality (as I’ve mentioned above) the two aren’t really comparable. Angel’s relationships with Buffy and Cordelia were distinctive, took place under completely different circumstances and brought different things to his life. Angel was fully engaged in a romantic relationship with Buffy for 2 years (on and off), but he never had the opportunity to do that with Cordelia. The romantic feelings were there, as was the potential for them to act on that and see what they could be, but it didn’t happen. So to compare the two relationships (when technically Angel and Cordy never entered into a romantic relationship) is futile to say the least. However, people naturally make those comparisons and when they do they seem to come up with two key reasons Angel/Cordelia are inferior to Buffy/Angel:

1. Sexual relationship/chemistry - It hasn’t escaped my attention that Buffy and Angel have a lot more sexual chemistry than Angel and Cordelia. Honestly, in my opinion, nothing can really compare to SMG/David chemistry, it’s so damn good. However, this criticism simply fails to understand that Angel and Cordelia’s love/connection never was primarily one of a sexual nature (notice that every fantasy Angel ever had of Cordelia was romantic not sexual). Romance was definitely part of their relationship (particularly in seasons 3, 4 and 5) and they had an attraction and they had chemistry (’Waiting in the Wings’ damn well proved that), but their relationship was never about sex. In comparison to Angel and Buffy, their relationship was deeply rooted in attraction. From the moment they meet each other they’re very physically attracted to each other and in seasons 1 and 2 they both make references made to how badly they want to kiss each other whenever they’re together, whilst in season 3 they discuss the difficulties they find in fighting against their sexual attraction to each other. As a result, Angel and Buffy’s relationship was always heavily steeped in sexual tension. The fact that Angel and Cordelia’s relationship didn’t have the same level of sexual attraction doesn’t make that relationship any less important, just different (which I know I keep saying, but it’s kind of my whole argument here - the two relationships are so fundamentally different you can’t compare them).

2. Buffy is Angel’s one and only true love - There’s no denying that Buffy was and always will be Angel’s great love, but to quote one of my not-so-favourite shows (The Vampire Diaries), contrary to popular belief, people can (and usually do) have more than one great love in their lives. Clinging too tightly to the Buffy/Angel relationship ignores the immense changes Angel undergoes on ATS and the fact he moved on from Buffy (up until Spike’s return in season 5, which reverts him back to being kind of obsessed with Buffy, which is such bad writing and so inconsistent that it annoys me. And this isn’t including crossovers either, because damn, they’re so problematic/inconsistent and I didn’t even realised until I watched ATS, but I can see now why the writers didn’t want to do too many crossovers despite the fans wanting them). Buffy was always in Angel’s heart and he always carried her with him, but he didn’t actively pine over her or yearn for her when he moved to L.A. (he did more so in season 1 and particularly after the events of ‘I Will Remember You’, but he slowly moved on). Angel conclusively and healthily moved on from Buffy - he established a life for himself which he loved and made him happy, he found a home, friends and embarked on a new love with Cordy. When two people have shared a love like Angel did with Buffy, it never goes away but it does change and it almost grows dormant (for reference, there’s a brilliant meta that discusses Angel moving on from Buffy which you can read here). To use a real life example here, my mom (who’s now 50) has been in around 5 serious long-term relationships in her life and has been with her current partner for 5 years and is completely in love with him. However, she’s openly admitted to me that she loved my dad more than she’s ever loved any man and she still regards him the love of her life. That doesn’t mean she’s still in love with him, because she’s not. She hasn’t seen him in two decades, she’s moved on and she’s found love with someone new. That love she had with him is a memory in her head and her heart, but it has no place in her life now. She’s a different person, her life has changed dramatically and that love is in the past. If he rocked up now he’d be a stranger to her and regardless of those memories she has of him, he’s no longer the person she’s in love with. That’s exactly what happened with Buffy and Angel. They always loved each other, but Angel truly did move forward (whether Buffy moved on is something I’m less unsure of). In ‘Heartthrob’ (3x01) Angel told James that he’d lost the woman he loved (Buffy) and that he had loved her with his whole heart. In response, James said that that couldn’t be true because if it was, when she had died Angel would’ve died along with her. After that, in a scene with Cordy (x), Angel admitted that he was okay and had dealt with Buffy’s death and how he felt guilty about that. In my opinion, this episode (and those scenes in particular) confirmed that Angel had moved on from Buffy and had gotten to a place where he could finally open himself up to Cordelia wholeheartedly. In fact, David spoke about how Angel had moved on from Buffy and that Cordy was what he needed (he also mentioned Darla, which is a topic I won’t get into because I could write an entirely separate post about that too) and here’s what he said:

Interviewer: Darla killed herself, right? The baby's mother? Who's gonna step up and help Angel raise the baby? Buffy?

David: God, no. Buffy's pretty much out of the picture. They've played their storyline and that's just the past. I think between Cordelia and Fred he'll be mommied to death. But, Buffy's just the past.

Interviewer: Oh, come on. Buffy can never really be just the past, can she? I mean, that's Angel's soulmate.

David: I think Darla was probably his soulmate. I mean, they spent a hundred years together, then made a baby. You can't just--

Interviewer: Well, then Buffy was his first love.

David: Angel was Buffy's first love, but Angel loved Darla in a sick way.

Interviewer: I'm a Buffy/Angel fan. Sorry.

David: You're forgiven. No, I'm just saying that the two shows are on different networks and it's not gonna happen. There's no more story there for those two. Buffy isn't Angel's priority anymore. In season one and two of our show, she was always in the back of his mind, well, now it's all about the baby and Buffy is just, well, she's just a person he used to know.

Interviewer : Awww, come on! The story there was so incredible.

David: And like every good story, it came to an end. And then started over. On. Different. Networks. (again with the emphasis)

Interviewer : Is Angel going to hook up with Cordy?

David: Well, I'm all for it. I don't know what the writers have planned in that regard, but I'm a fan of Charisma's work and I'd love for our characters to be romantically involved. Cordy is really what Angel needs, I believe. (x)

See, it’s important to acknowledge that as amazing as Buffy and Angel’s story was, they broke up and went their separate ways. As David rightfully pointed out, it was the past and Buffy was no longer his priority. It’s always frustrated me that Angel was expected not to move on and to pine for Buffy, whilst Buffy was allowed to move on and find love again. The argument is that Angel was so much older than Buffy that he couldn’t or rather shouldn’t want to find love, whilst Buffy was still young, but the problem is, although Angel was technically old, he was still a teenager himself in terms of his experiences in love. He didn’t have a soul for 100 years so was incapable of love and then he spent 100 years when he had a soul cut off from the world. He had barely experienced anything the world had to offer and he certainly hadn’t had the opportunity to forge connections with others or explore the world of love. Buffy was able to move on from Angel and experience different types of relationships/loves with Parker (urgh), Riley and Spike (amongst others who she flirted with or briefly dated post-BTVS season 3). Angel deserved the same opportunity to experience new types of relationships that were different than the one he had with Buffy. I’m going to use another quote The Vampire Diaries because I feel it sums this up perfectly, “I realised that I may not be able to explain what I feel for her, but it is something, and, yeah, maybe all love isn't true love in the messed up way that you and I have experienced it, but I think this could turn into something even better.” This right here is exactly how I perceive Angel’s feelings for Buffy and Cordelia to be. Angel had only ever loved one person, Buffy was all he’d ever known of love and it was so big, messy and all-consuming , but with Cordelia he realised that love didn’t necessarily have to be like that and that there are different types of love.

There’s no disputing that Angel never loved Cordelia in the same way he loved Buffy (which this post explains perfectly) - Angel will never love anyone the way he loved Buffy, but he did fall in love with Cordelia and she enriched his life in new ways and filled a void in him in much the same way Buffy did. During ATS Cordelia surpassed Buffy in importance simply because of the place she had in Angel’s life - she was the center of his world and without her it wouldn’t be the same (we saw that in season 5). It would be unfair to claim Angel couldn’t or shouldn’t love someone else just because he had such an intense love with Buffy. What makes his relationship with Cordelia so special is that it was so different than the love he had with Buffy. Those two loves will always sit in contrast to each other, but will never overshadow or replace one another because they’re both significant and special for different reasons.

The point of talking about this was really just to highlight that Angel and Cordelia’s relationship is not by any means invalid or inferior because of Buffy/Angel. Both relationships are important and exist in contrast to each other. Angel and Cordelia’s relationship does tend to be misunderstood and/or unappreciated due to the nature of the writing (which had a lot of problems in seasons 4 and 5, and even a little in season 3) and because they’re too heavily compared to the hot and heavy romance between Angel and Buffy. However, Angel and Cordelia’s relationship developed organically over time in a subtle way and is demonstrative of how much relationships can evolve as life progresses and circumstances change, and how two people can grow together. Theirs was a story about two people, who in the beginning were indifferent to each other, but grew to know each other profoundly and found a lot through being in each others lives - purpose, belonging, family, friendship and love - and through having and sharing that, they fell in love. It’s not a conventional romantic love as most of us would expect, and they didn’t have the chances to fully explore their romantic connection because their story ended prematurely, but it was a beautiful relationship embedded in human connection and friendship at the deepest and purest level.

If you got to the end of this, thank you so much for reading. This took me days and days to write and edit, so I’m really grateful to you for reading and would appreciate likes/reblogs if you found this interesting. I’d also love to hear your thoughts on this topic, so if you have any feel free to stop by my ask box :)

#angel the series #ats #cangel #angel x cordelia #ats meta #angel the series meta #cangel meta #mine #my meta #i can't even explain how long this took to write #i just hope that at least one person reads it now lmao #i spent so long on my last meta about the punisher and that has no notes #i guess even if no one reads it i get the enjoyment out of writing it and that's what counts

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marginalgloss · 6 years

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vapor lock

I picked up Open, the autobiography of Andre Agassi, in search of something good to read about tennis. There aren’t a great many books about that sport, but this one now seems to be generally regarded as a classic of its kind. And though it does suffer from some of the usual traits of the ghostwritten celebrity autobiography, it has enough charisma to carry itself through. As well as being the document of a fairly extraordinary life, it is also a pretty good book about the playing of tennis in the modern era.

More so than some other sports, tennis seems to demand a near-infinite level of commitment from the people who play it at a high level. It is not only the level of athletic prowess it demands, and it’s not just the densely-packed pro tournament calendar which leaves little time for anything else — it’s that any kind of player response which differs from monotone bright-eyed optimism is immediately singled out and condemned for lacking commitment, passion, professionalism, or any number of other vague signifiers that suggest the person in question simply isn’t adequate. You need only look at how Andy Murray was treated throughout his career for the most minor of transgressions; in his case a certain tone of voice was enough to do it. Or look at how Nick Kyrgios attracts the ire of the press whenever he admits to a kind of indifference towards the sport, or when he insists that the people who write about the sport don’t know how it feels to play it. Neither of these should be considered radical statements, but somehow they’re seen as a sign of a deeper malaise.

Agassi’s book seems different because so much of it is incredibly bleak. It goes entirely against that tone of bland sanguinity which we normally hear from players under scrutiny. To begin with, Agassi is insistent throughout that he never wanted to be a tennis player — not only that but he actively hates tennis. For most of his career this takes on the feeling of a terrible secret, which he only shares with a handful of the closest people in his life. He hates tennis because his father forced him to play it from a very young age. Any resistance was effectively beaten out of him. One penetrating image from the early chapters is of a young boy standing alone in the tennis court his father built in the yard of the family home, struggling to return shots fired down from a ball machine propped up at an adult height — and doing that for hours and hours — until his father decides that being ankle-deep in balls is perhaps not conducive to the progression of his son’s skills.

For the young Agassi there was no choice in the matter, and really no alternative. As he grew older his father drove him to tournaments and even pushed him into passing contact with the great players of the day. Later he was sent to a tennis boarding school, the depiction of which here makes some of those classically bleak British boarding schools look cushy by comparison. From then on, he is on a steadily upwards trudge through the rankings till he is playing with some of the most talented players in the world. Along the way he picks up a regular team, some of who (like his physical trainer Gil) stay with him right through to the end of his career.

If this is a rags-to-riches story, it’s a strange one. It would be difficult to cite this book as inspirational, simply because for much of it Agassi struggles with his own essential indifference to thing which (to the outside world) seems to be his reason for existing. Often it seems he’s less driven to win than driven to avoid failure. Again, this is not something we’d expect to hear from a player today, but with all those Grand Slams under his belt Agassi seems content to be candid. Refreshingly, he doesn’t seem to care if he admits to losing countless matches because he was mentally preoccupied, or (perhaps more often) because he basically didn’t care whether he won or not. And all this is before we even get to the unbelievable struggle against his own physiology: he was born with an issue in his spine which gave him a flat-footed walk, and eventually caused an incredible amount of pain when playing in the later parts of his career.

But it’s also a very funny book. There are some amazing anecdotes here, many of which feature the bewildering array of the great and the good with whom Agassi socialised at the zenith of his career. There’s an incredible story about the episode of Friends featuring his then girlfriend Brooke Shields, which I won’t spoil. Naturally, the rather more serious Pete Sampras comes in for some good-tempered ribbing (at one point Agassi brings a parrot to a joint interview). His much-discussed relationship with Barbra Streisand is here, and is rather cute. He explains why he started playing in denim shorts (because McEnroe thought they were ridiculous).

But even under all that this levity there’s a terrible sadness. That oversized mullet he wore in the early part of his career was partly fake — a complex concoction of spray, wig and bandanna, intended to hide his fast-thinning hair — and it’s painful to read of his anxiety over whether it could come loose at a crucial point in a tennis match. And there’s one story about the time he was caught taking recreational drugs that seems like an astonishing admission of his privileged position at the time, and of a lax drug culture within the sport.

The effect of all this is enlivened by the style, even while it renders it all somewhat harmless. It’s lush, cinematic, and impossibly detailed. It has the ‘author as protagonist’ feel that’s almost the definitive characteristic of a certain kind of autobiography. It would make for a pretty good Wes Anderson movie (and I like Wes Anderson movies). Complex events are mustered into neat little stories and scenes that don’t have quite the feeling of real memories. And that’s fine, I think, but it has the (perhaps unintentional) effect of making the whole thing feel like it couldn’t quite be entirely real.

It is only Agassi’s eventual mastery of his field that would get this book shelved amongst the other sporting autobiographies, and not alongside the volumes about parental abuse. But I kept thinking of what he might have become if it hadn’t worked out. I thought of his brother, another victim of his father, who tried for years to turn professional without ever seeing real success. There is something of the sausage factory about modern tennis. If we knew how it was made, the idea of inflicting it on any young person might come to seem intolerable.

#books #andre agassi #tennis

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the-desolated-quill · 6 years

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Luther 5x01 - Luther blog

(SPOILER WARNING: The following is an in-depth critical analysis. If you haven’t seen this episode yet, you may want to before reading this review)

Can you remember the last time I’ve written about this show? 24th December 2015. Feeling old yet? Back then I was lucky if my reviews got two notes. Now I can get as many as thirty. Goodness me, I’ve gone up in the world XD

If you would like to read my reviews of the previous episodes... well... I’d rather you didn’t if I’m honest because they’re not very good. I was still finding my feet as an amateur critic/blogger/moaning old fart at the time and only had a vague idea of what I was talking about. I can give you a quick summary of my views on the show. I love it for the most part. In recent years it’s become almost trendy to take the piss out of it due to its over the top villains and gratuitous violence, but that’s always been part of its charm for me. But above all, what puts Luther head and shoulders above most other crime shows for me is the title character. Writer Neil Cross has created one of the most compelling and morally complex characters I’ve ever seen and Idris Elba brings him to life expertly. As horrific and ludicrous as the crimes and plots usually are, it’s DCI John Luther that keeps me coming back for more.

Luther has always been more of a horror show than a crime drama and the first episode of Series 5 is no different. A masked killer with LED lights on his hood to confuse CCTV cameras, (which makes him look a lot like that ghost astronaut from Scooby Doo), is roaming around London, sneaking up on unsuspecting strangers and hammering nails into their bodies because that’s the only way he can achieve an orgasm. Oh yeah, and he also has a jar of eyeballs in his sex dungeon because of course he does. The villains in this show can be many things, but subtle isn’t usually one of them. At one point newcomer DS Haliday asks Luther if this kind of depravity is normal for him, which made me laugh. Any Luther fan could tell you that this is just an average Tuesday for him.

No other show can get away with this kind of grotesqueness, but in Luther it just works. It revels in how insane and weird it is. It’s not a question of whether or not it’s believable (because let’s face it, it bloody isn’t). It’s a question of whether or not it’s scary and it absolutely is. Jamie Payne’s direction really helps to up the creep factor and the concept itself is just inherently icky. By far the most terrifying scene was the killer creeping up on that woman on the top deck of the the night bus, almost panther-like. What made it scarier for me is that the scene was actually filmed near the Olympic Park in Stratford, which is close to where I live. Seeing a psycho wandering around areas you’re familiar with is disconcerting to say the least.

The episode also does a good job of piquing the audience’s interest and building intrigue. Hermione Norris is captivating to watch in her role as Dr. Vivien Lake, who claims to know who the killer is, but there’s clearly more to her than we think. Luther notices straight away this isn’t a normal patient/doctor relationship and we the viewer know from the outset there’s something not quite right about her. It goes beyond her empathising with the killer. She seems to have a degree of control over him, which makes you question whether she is playing a part in these murders, perhaps for her own sexual gratification. Even the reveal at the end that the patient was just a patsy and that her husband is the real killer doesn’t give away everything. I feel there’s a lot more to unpack here with this relationship and this character, and I can’t wait to see how it unfolds in the next three episodes.

The main cast are pretty good. Idris Elba is predictably brilliant, stepping back into the tweed coat and red tie with little effort. Dermot Crowley and Michael Smiley return as DSU Martin Schenk and Benny respectively and both are great fun to watch. Benny in particular plays a more active role this time, no longer being just the stereotypical computer guy and instead taking part in the action, helping Luther to remove a bomb collar from a hostage, which was cool. The weak link is probably DS Catherine Haliday, played by Wunmi Mosaku. She’s set up as the newcomer, being fast tracked to the Serious and Serial Crimes Unit from the public sector, but she doesn’t really have that much of a part to play. Luther barely even acknowledges her existence most of the time. There’s none of the Batman and Robin-esque camaraderie that Luther and Justin Ripley had in the first three series and she’s not as interesting as Emma Lane was in the previous series. She just... exists. Hopefully she’ll get more to do as the series go on.

Another actor who’s wasted in this episode is Patrick Malahide, returning from Series 4 as ‘old school’ gangster George Cornelius. Actually this is something of a recurring problem for Luther. The first series I remember fondly because Neil Cross kept everything simple for the most part. Each episode was about a different serial killer and how Luther was going to catch him. But from Series 2 onward, everything started to get needlessly complicated with B plots and C plots and side stories and so on. I can understand why they’re doing this. Idris Elba and Neil Cross aren’t as readily available as they used to be so when they do find the time to make more Luther episodes, they want to cram in as much material as they can to make up for the long wait by fans. I get it completely, but it comes at the cost of the narrative as a whole. Vivien and her sexually deranged husband is an interesting plot in and of itself, but we keep getting yanked away from it in order to deal with an entirely separate plot about George trying to find his kidnapped son. George isn’t a bad character, don’t get me wrong. Malahide does a great job in the role, but you can’t help but feel all of this is a bit pointless. Why should I care about this guy? He’s a cockney arsehole who tried to assassinate Alice Morgan (the most popular character in the show) for a bunch of diamonds last series. Fuck him. At least now that Alice is back, we can hopefully see her exact her revenge on him.

On the whole, a solid start to the new series with a lot of potential going forward.

#luther 5x01 #luther #idris elba #neil cross #bbc #review #spoilers

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jaykore · 8 years

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I always wonder whenever I come across someone who ships Jason/Tim, so I just thought I'd actually ask for once: how do you think Bruce would react when he discovered they were in a relationship? I mean, they're not technically related but he does consider them his sons and has adopted them both. Plus, there was the whole time when Jason seemed to hate Tim and even tried to kill him. There's also the possibility of it affecting their vigilantism.

OOF.A fair but loaded question- and you’ve come to the absolute, most inarticulate person on this hellsite. Buckle up friend, we’re going on this journey of discovery together.

Long post under the cut!

I’d like to believe that Bruce would be tolerant and hopefully even supportive. Though to be honest, this is a hard question to really answer easily and adequately, and I’m not just saying that as a cop out.

Which version of Bruce are you asking about? And which versions of Jason and Tim?

For me personally, my headcanons and interpretations of all the characters are a melding of all of the different timelines. Asking questions like, “would Bruce approve” or saying “he has adopted them both” forces them into a singular, static iteration of the character. And I think to form any kind of opinion, we have to either reconcile the different versions or treat them as separate entities altogether (which DC itself is terrible at!)

Let’s touch on the adoptions first since those thoughts are easiest for me to work through.

Were Jason and Tim both adopted by Bruce Wayne? Yes, in the Pre52 verses. Does this legally make them brothers? Perhaps. But we also need to consider (and this is fact), that Jason’s existence in Tim’s life was by reputation only, that they were entirely unacquainted with each other until Jason returned to life. Jason was an idea, and a warning to Tim. I don’t think they perceive one another as a ‘brother’ at all, except that according to documentation they are/were Bruce’s sons. Certainly I would say that Tim and Jay each consider Bruce to be a father, but I truly think its a stretch to say that they consider themselves to be familial. Dick is a closer to a brother to either of them then they are each other, particularly Tim.

In New52 they have a much closer relationship (more brotherly I would say), but they are not brothers -at all-. Jason refers to Tim as “bro” once (in RHatO), though the quotations imply (imo) that this is a sarcastic comment. Tim also notes that Bruce really isn’t Jason’s father due to his death- though there are continuity issues on this point. While Tim states Bruce isn’t Jays father “anymore” Jason notes that Dick and Jason were wards only; implying he was never actually adopted. The one thing that is static in the New52 is Tim himself was never adopted by Bruce Wayne. Hence, at least by this timeline, Jay and Tim and Dick are not brothers regardless of the some of the sloppy writing.

Would Bruce take issue with two people who are not blood relatives, who have never lived under the same roof, who have not shared a last name, who don’t consider themselves ‘family’, and in the case of new52, aren’t even adopted relatives, being together? Maybe not. But I think it would have to do more with how they treat each other and less with him considering them to be his sons. Which brings me to my next point.

To state explicitly that “Bruce would 100% not approve” I would assume would be in a timeline where Jason, Tim and Bruce were on the outs. Where Jason was still ostracized from the Batfamily. Where Tim was brutalized by Jason. Essentially the pre52!Jay who held a vendetta against everyone and launched premeditated attacks against Tim. Would Bruce be okay with a relationship in this timeline? Honestly, likely not. Bruce goes out of his way to warn Tim about Jason much in the same way as he warned Jason about the Joker, implying that he considers Jason to be insane, and a criminal. Although how many times does B give his foes a second chance hm? And I think that’s one of the more interesting things about the Batfam- there’s always room (it seems) for redemption. But I digress.

Tim and Jason’s adoption aside I think a relationship between the two of them, and how the fam would take would be largely affected by Tim and Jason themselves. Personally I love to see Jason working to earn Tim’s trust. I like the friction between the two of them. I like the idea that Jason could ‘heal’ (if that’s what we should call it) from his death, from the pit, from feeling like he’d been abandoned. I like the idea that Tim (who I think is potentially the most Machiavellian of the fam) could help Jay work through that. And…. aside from the anger, the jealousy and the very black and white morality, even in this timeline (Pre52) Jason still comes to respect Tim and his abilities to some degree (going so far as to ask him to join him in taking down the gangs). So we get glimpses of this potential for them to be -more- than antagonists.

Whether or not Tim would/should forgive Jason is a completely different monster... though Tim has often seemed to want to try and see the good in Jay, and get him to change (see “Pre Battle for the Cowl” in particular). Similarly, New52 tries to imply a past friction between the two that has since been on the mend and its insinuated that Tim is perhaps in part responsible (regardless of how Bruce feels). We’re never told to what extent Jason acted negatively towards Tim however- that is completely left up to interpretation (or an assumption that its referring to pre52).

(can we stop and appreciate the sass of this stare for a moment? Tim plz.)

I wouldn’t say that this version of Jason is a complete departure from his former self. Rather it does seem like an effort to try and reconcile his more villainous nature, with an anti-hero who’s ‘doing his best’™. Jason still kills pretty indiscriminately, aside from the instances where Tim calls for his help and while his morals are still very black and white, and don’t fit Bruce’s ideal, he is more tempered and functions on a more even keel. (I feel like Im getting derailed but stick with me).

Fast forward to Rebirth, and Jason is now arguably back in the fold. He’s proven to Bruce that he’s capable of operating as a vigilante without the use of terminal force and we’ve been gifted (hallelujah) with some pretty amazing ‘bonding’ scenes between Bruce and Jason. While Jay and Tim have yet to have any tangible interaction (New52 was definitely the run for jaytim fodder), Jason and Tim both consider each other on different occasions if only to note their aptitude or usefulness.

Either way you slice this, if this a ‘redemption’ for pre52 Jason, or an entire retcon of his character, its obvious that the mania he suffered upon returning from the dead is no longer there and that he is capable of, and would be accepted as being, a member of the “Batfam”. Now... Would this version of Bruce be accepting of this version of Jason and Tim having a relationship? They’re not adopted brothers anymore, there is no apparent lingering animosity (we don’t even know if Jay explicitly attacked Tim), and, there appears to be some modicum of mutual respect… so why wouldn’t he be for it?

As I said early on (and kudos if you’ve made if this far). Which versions are we dealing with? Truthfully I don’t buy into the ‘adopted brothers’ argument because I don’t read them as being familial in any sense. Their relationship therefore hinges on Jasons attitude, his interactions with Bruce, and his treatment of Tim.

If we’re dealing with static timelines… I dont think pre52 JayTim would be OK in B’s eyes. Aside from Jason’s nature being in such opposition to how Bruce operates, he does attack Tim (and Dick), with malice and with purpose. Regardless of how you want to rationalize it (personally I do like the ‘pit madness’ headcanon), it happened. And although Tim seems to be able to move past that, I think there’s is a lot of damage that would not easily be repaired.

In terms of New52 or Rebirth Jason and Tim? Hell yeah… why not? Jason’s relationships are on the mend. He’s shown that he can operate within the bounds of Bruce’s moral code. He and Tim have a respectful and functioning relationship that looks good on them both. I don’t see how one couldn’t read anything from New52 and argue that they don’t compliment each other. They’re the self proclaimed “Black Sheep” of the lot. They’ve both tried (and felt like they’ve failed), to fill their predecessors shoes. They both want to prove themselves and desire to be needed. I could keep going on but this is already long enough.

In summation, would Bruce approve? Yes and No. Depending on which Bruce, which Jason, and which Tim you’re talking about. And if you wanted to brave and try to harmonize the mess that is the DC timeline, you’d have a lot of work taking what is/could be a toxic relationship and molding it into something closer to that of the New52. The question of whether or not you should is something else entirely I won’t touch on here (but to give you an idea on my stance... this is what transformative works and AUs are for yes?).

Oh! And lastly, “would it affect their vigilantism”? How so? In terms of being able to operate and function? I don’t think it would have a negative impact. I think they would operate much the same as we see in New52; with trust, and sass and camaraderie.

Sorry this got so long, but thanks for the opportunity to empty my brain-cage and I hope thats a satisfactory answer for you! : )

I’d love to hear anyone else’s thoughts if you’d like to share, and also if I’ve misinterpreted a fact let me know… these storylines are hard to keep in order!

#jaytim #long post #jaykore talks #please don't yell at me if I've totally missed something #I am absolutely open to polite conversation #and opposing ideas #I did ma best!#thanks for the question :)#cloakedsparrow

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tumblunni · 8 years

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Bunni’s Rune Factory 4 Headcanons Even More So

okay MISC CHARACTER HEADCANONS AND THINGS

* first and most important one: arthur and dylas consider porcoline their adopted father just like margaret does, and they all see each other as siblings. Its never actually stated in canon but IT HAS TO BE TRUE OKAY * I wish Illuminata, Bado and Pico could have been marriages in dlc or something. Thats not really a headcanon but I wanted to mention it. * ALL THE GAY JOKES ARE NOW NOT JOKES BUT CANON. That is my headcanon. Stop teasing me with ‘lol isnt it somehow funny that they seem to be gay but arent’, and give me more actual being the what they are. Pico has a crush on Dolce, Doug and Dylas have a crush, Margaret is totally crushing on Forte, imagine a universe where all of that gets to be canon and not just a ‘joke’! And imagine if these characters that’re implied to be gay or bisexual could get to be gay or bisexual with regards to the protagonist too! If dylas, doug, margaret and forte could be marriageable no matter which gender you picked! Maybe if you could have some options that’re exclusively gay too? Perhaps pico is the lesbian marriage and I dunno.. bado could be gay because he’s kinda bara? XD Tho I think it’d be neat if frey could marry him too, i just wish he had a route in general. * Also i wish we could have been able to help Arthur track down his mother again and reconcile with her. It was mega heartwarming that you could help him discover that his mother loved him all along and only left because of outside cricumstances involving the controversy of arthur being the product of his father’s affair with a commoner, but still we dont know where she is now and whether she’s happy. I like to hope maybe she’s out there still alive somewhere, and maybe she collects newspaper clippings hearing about her son’s adventures as super businessman prince! And thus someday she hears that he moved to selphia and married frey the commoner, and maybe this leads to her deciding to come back and confess why she really left. And also maybe the marriage to the protagonist could help society get over the whole predjudice and stuff and arthur’s mum could regain a better reputation in the eyes of the nobles. or maybe she never does and she just ends up moving into selphia and never being able to return to her home city, but still its all ok cos at least she can hug her son and meet her new grandkid. * My thoughts for the guardians who didnt get much said about their past lives! For Amber the game says she ‘wanted to fly with ventuswill’ and thats at least more than we know for Dylas, but still its very undeveloped. My headcanon is that maybe she was a pilot? or like.. lived in an era before airships were actually invented, and was someone who dreamed of finding a way to make it possible. And her notes were discovered after she vanished, and ended up inspiring the person who ended up inventing the first flying machine! And even though now she can fly on her own wings, it could be heartwarming for her to find out about this and have a bit of conclusion to her life. I also headcanon that Amber’s relationship with Ventuswill was maybe more like an adoptive mother-daughter thing? I think it would fit with how strange and monster-like Amber thinks sometimes, even though she must have been human to begin with. I mean maybe thats just how the magic works and if you’re a weirdo who loves eating raw potatos and climbing trees to steal honey from beehives you become a butterfly?? But I think it could work if maybe she was an orphan who was raised by the native dragon and ended up a little ditzy because she hadn’t interacted with humans much until nowadays. like, maybe this was a period when ventuswill was mourning the first person who became a guardian (what order did it happen, actually...?) and she became more solitary instead of having this personal presence in the town. She flew off to watch over selphia from within the forest cave instead, and found an abandoned child by chance. And then once Amber had grown up she was always trying to drop her off at the town and make her live with her own kind, but amber would always find her way back. And ventuswill was like ‘aww shit no i ended up loving someone again’ and couldnt stop amber from finding out about the guardian ritual and doing it too. And like... the only reason ventuswill went back to the town was because now corrupted-amber is the boss of the forest area and ventuswill cant break through her magic to get back in. So amber’s sacrifice also helped convince venti to open up to other people again. *eternal sobbing* * And my headcanons for Dylas’s past are less developed, but I was considering maybe the idea that he was the last one to be guardianized? And by this point it had become seen as a tradition by the people of selphia, and they would like.. look for a human sacrifice, rather than it being someone who willingly did it. It was a very dark time in the town’s history. It was nearly the end of the town not because it was in danger, but because if they’d gone through with such a horrible plan it just wouldnt be selphia anymore. Those people wouldnt be worth protecting, it probably would have caused ventuswill to leave and never return. So anyway I was thinking maybe Dylas was some sort of weird loner fisherman on the edge of town that everyone hated, so they considered him the one who should be sacrificed. And he was so lonely and suicidal that he wanted to agree to it, just because he wanted to die and didnt care how. But then ventuswill put a stop to the angry mob and rescued him, and he regained his faith in people and found his first and greatest friend as he got to know her. So in the end he performed the ritual out of his own free will, after realizing she was the one who would be saved by his sacrifice. And she was haunted by the guilt that by saving him she’d inadvertantly caused him to go down the same path anyway, just for different reasons. And then Dylas is just way more happy nowadays because whatever reason the town hated him is now gone, and he’s seeing how kind and wonderful its become, and he’s never had so many friends before!! And he can still go fishing and hang out with venti, and even meet three other people who also loved venti enough to die, and bond over their super sadness together. Oh! An idea! Maybe Dylas was part of a different race of nomadic humans who travel in caravans, and the town treated him so shittily because they were racist fucks? I was just thinking how that could maybe be a reason why his monster form was a horse, if maybe horses were a highly respected animal in his home culture, and he’s all estranged from it and stuck living in a foreign land with a bunch of intolerant bastards. And it could be extra heartwarming cos nowadays he’s living in the future version of this town that is even more foreign to him, but nowadays that racial tension is less common and he’s actually been welcomed as one of them. And maybe he could have extra quests added to his rather short romance route, cos he could be trying to learn whether his clan actually survived and still exists nowadays. And then have a heartwarming reunion with the grandchild of one of his siblings maybe? look, everyone else in the batchelors got a big sad questline, why cant perfect tsundere horseman join them?? IT WOULD BE THE SADDEST OF ALL THE SADS * also it would be really cool if when you married the guardian characters your child could inherit monster powers! I’m still gonna forever headcanon that they do, even if they dont get any of the appearance traits. It would be so cute if noel/luna could poof into a tiny baby unicorn and dylas is just sobbing with pride :3 * also headcanon: I wish Leon’s fox statue guardians could move into the city after you marry him, and be like loving uncle babysitters to your child! the excuse would be like ‘we need to protect the next in the proud dragon priest lineage’. And maybe once they leave the temple they could be stuck in de-powered tiny pet forms of cute? * Oh and a possible headcanon that the name Leon is passed down from father to son in Leon’s family. That’d explain why that temple is called Leon Karnak. Unless it was renamed into a memorial to him after he sacrificed himself? But it could be cute if your kid with him was Leon Jr/Leona and had adorkable fox statue pets and was a prodigy champion in the buddy battle festival and made their parents proud. I HAVE MANY HEADCANONS! * Gahhhh I really dont know who I should marry! Arthur was the first one I dated and I really like him though I wish you could have a friend route with him where you still help him with his backstory problems, I dont feel like I like the ship as much. And then Leon’s backstory was so sad I feel guilty not marrying him, but Dylas’s marriage route was so BAD that I feel guilty not marrying him! He didnt get as many scenes as leon, so I wanna marry him instead so i can fly off headcanoning more scenes!! But gahhh leon!! I think I ship leon with female protagonist and dylas with the male one :P I might make two saves to try both. And a third save just to see what arthur’s route is like, though i still like him and female protagonist better as a brotp, yknow? Or maybe amicable exes. Or just people who dated once casually but didnt end up together. Or any way i could get the happy ending to his backstory stuff without having to date him, seriously why does everyone be backstory sad unless I date them?? Except dylas who DOESNT GET ANY SCREENTIME INSTEAD *pout* *....im gonna go back to the game and marry dylas aaaa * and everyone else * aaaaaaa * i just care so much about these characters * i think dylas might win cos marrying him also means my fave character porcoline becomes my father in law * i wonder if he’s at the wedding? that’d kinda confirm my headcanon dylas and arthur are like margaret’s adopted brothers. * I WANT EVERY FAM TO BE HAPPY AAA

#bunni plays rf4

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arishae · 5 years

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open letter to you know who you are:

Or maybe im being too sensitive, irrational and emotional kid. But heres an open n sincere letter to whoever u are, u know urselves better, u know how’s ur current relationship with me. I never write an honest letter about my feelings. Because u guys see me as care-less person. Please, read til the end of this letter.

I’ve noticed that some of u have decided to leave me cos i’ve changed? Cos im becoming something else? Cos u never thought that i would change to this bad? I’ve noticed that some of u has slowly distancing urselves from me? Did i ever influence or ask u to do the things that ive been doing all this while? Or was it cos im not in the circle anymore? Ur kinda circle?

I dont owe ur explanation. If u really wanted to stop the relationship, pls go ahead and dont ever come back. I do have feelings too. I didnt tell u whats really happening, how does it feel. It feels damn empty and heavy have u ever asked me, “are you feeling better?”. All u did was seeing the new me, or perhaps the dark side of arifah arisha? “Im staying” but have u ever supported me? Have u ever gave me a shoulder to rely and cry on? Have u ever spent a minute to talk to me so that i could feel better? Im changing but i was silently asking for help. I was deeply asking for supports. Mutual supports. Im laughing, im smilling, im enjoying my life but have u ever gave a single thought about how this empty and heavy feelings have been haunting me? U never, all u think is ur feelings n ur issues or others.

I never or maybe i rarely tell u guys about my feelings. That doesn’t mean i dont have any. That doesn’t give u a ticket for u to let all your emotions, telling all problems and what more to me without thinking i highkey wanted u to ask me how am i feeling now. Was it bcs u see me as someone who really doesnt care about feelings or problemless? Or maybe was it bcs i always share and rant my feelings on twitter n thats why u thought im doing ok? Things that i tweeted on twitter are all on the surface, no? My main point is, i do have feelings n my personal issues that i sometimes need u guys to understand me and continuously support me? U never asked me ever since then how am i doing. The one whos going to ask ur state and condition, is me. Cos i do fucking care about u n i fucking hope the same in return. Am i not that important to u? How often did u come to me n ask, “how are u now?” This. This is what everyone never did to me yet expected that im doing better now just bcs i tweet so much n enjoy my life to the fullest on instagram?

Im telling u this, demi Allah, im freaking dissapointed with all of u. The reasons why i never told u guys my feelings n personal issues cos i know u guys never really care. U guys have been taking advantage on me cos i kept on checking on u guys.

Leave me. Im no one anymore n i understand that ure taking precaution actions by cutting me away or ghosting me. Please go. I dont wanna keep people who dont give a damn about me, who never spend a minute to check on me whether im ok or not. Leave.

arisha.

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realblackhelix · 5 years

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Regarding Season 5 Legends of Tomorrow

Spoilers mostly because of two paragraphs of quotes hinting at Season 5 but it's not really spoilery.

So everyone seems a little worried about the season finale spoilers which are hinting about what season 5 may be about and while I am a little something has been niggling at me, a lot of somethings.

If you are here only for Avalance. Check #4 it's a theory that I haven't been able to shake since I read the Season 5 spoilers.

Here for potential episode count of Season 5 of Legends of Tomorrow and/or the potential reasoning behind it's midseason, next year move? Try #3

Or here for a potential theory regarding Season 5 entirely. This also includes Avalance and has a little more backbone then #4. Check out #5

Here for Crisis on Infinite Earths? Check the last part.

So I made a list and dug back through almost every episode of Legends from season 3-4 to try to calm my fears and honestly I think there are some huge clues buried deep in there.

1. People are worried that next Season will be Legends of Tomorrow's last and I honest to god think Legends of Tomorrow will end with a Season 6 and not 5. Why do I think this? Mostly because the CW renewed it for season 5 didn't mention it was ending and renewed Arrow for season 8 and mentioned that it would be it's final season. Plus I doubt they'd end two of the Arrowverse shows one after the other. I know it hasn't been running as long as Arrow and Legends isn't the flagship show but I do believe they would've let people know if that would be it. Though that said I do believe Legends will have a Season 6 and that will be it's last, do I want it to be? No.

Should it be? That's to be determined.

There are hundreds of stories a show like Legends could tell but honestly ask yourself is it worth the risk of Legends losing what makes it Legends, let it and those in it go down as Legends I say.

2. And what happens when the Legends awaken the original guardians of Time (no, not the Time Masters, sillies, that was season one!) who wish to erase everything the Legends have “screwed up for the better” over the past four seasons?

I needed to especially hit this nail on the head, considering I began writing a fic back at the beginning of 3B about original guardians of time, I literally even called them Time Guardians and tied the original 2 of them to Adam and Eve and there was this whole plot surrounding what if and honestly Im scrapping it now, I was probably never going to finish it but I was almost half way through so thats something.

Now to get on with the actual point of this quote, I dont know if anybody has noticed but this entire season offset with the actors and actressess and onset as their characters, especially the closer it gets to the finale has been extremely focused on the wrongs season 1 did, how bad it was, how much the actors didn't like it (example - Dominic Purcell's quote, Phil Klemmers comments about it and on and on with the other actors), the quote above even mentions the fact that these guardians will try to correct the past 4 seasons and then there's Sara's and Mick's mention to it in "Nip/Stuck", the offshoot moment that had everyone going awwww when Mick mentioned they were the last of the originals and Sara mentioned they were different back then and that they are growing up but hopefully not apart (a huge hint I believe that this show is ready to tie the knot, just not season 5 ready because they'll need to be adults for that ending and they aren't quite there yet) season 4 was about coming to terms with that fact and season 5 will be about them acting on it, season 6 will be the realisation that every Legend has an ending. This is where season 5 'them acting on being adults' comes into it, I believe Legends is going to try to write season 1's wrong in a way they haven't done yet, do I mean they'll literally go back and rewrite season 1? No, i swear to god they better not that would be another level of unbelievable yet to be achieved but that doesn't mean certain aspects of season 1 won't have a huge impact, season 1 brought them together as in Sara's words "the original losers, not important to history" and now look at them. Season 1 of Legends will play a pivotal plot point to Season 5, a realisation of soughts. It's time for the Legends to grow up, realise that every action truly has consequences and that nothing lasts forever, something they couldn't fathom when Rip tried to keep them from fixing their mess in 3x01 forcing them to get normal lives and not be time travelling superheroes. Though they'll surely have their fun discovering this.

3. Midseason Return and episode count

Okay, I am not worried at all about this. Is it shitty? Yeah definitely. We won't be getting episodes until at least at minimum January next year but let's be honest with Batwoman hitting our screens, this was going to happen.

Legends of Tomorrow is the CW's most outrageous, crazy, no ordinary run of the mill show they have. It's no longer able to fit with the nitty gritty of the Arrowverse, it's in a league of its own.

These things are what make Legends of Tomorrow, Legends of Tomorrow. It wouldn't be the same if it resembled the street show Arrow is or the teen superhero show the Flash is or the normal, kind of? that Supergirl is or whatever type of darl thing Batwoman will be. Just like Black Lightning (which if you aren't watching, why?) Legends is something of its own. Unique.

Moving Legends away may very well be them realising this.

As for episode count, I don't expect anything above 16 episodes but I certainly don't expect anything below 13. This whole 10 episode rumour going around, I find it hard to believe, Arrow got 10 mostly because it's the last season and Stephen Amell requested a shorter series to end on.

4. Avalance - let's be honest most of you reading this are only here for the Avalance. Probably.

What do I think of Avalance leading into season 5? I think we got our answer perhaps in the form of Clexacon, 4B and the spoiler. Everyone is so concerned with the fact that they may break up that they haven't considered something entirely different.

In attempting to change her future, Zari Tomaz (Tala Ashe) will accidentally change not just the past she shared with Nate Heywood (Nick Zano), but fundamentally change who the Legends are in season five.

From this one paragraph everybody assumes they are going to be broken up in this new reality. If that turns out to be the case I am all here for a finding their way back to each other season. Remember, Sara and Ava are who each other want. They'll find their way back to one another.

Though this isn't what I get from this, remember Clexacon. Remember baby Beebo's? Remember Ava wanting a life with Sara and Sara not entirely sure she could give that to Ava with her past, remember everything with Sara's father, remember Ava wanting to talk about kids and so on and so on. Now I'm not saying Quentin will make an appearance but I am suggesting that what if this new reality is everything they ever wanted, what if it's paradise, Ava has a kid with Sara, Sara has her father and she's in a good place with Ava but nothing feels right. What if it changes their lives all for the better and season 5 is them coming to terms with the fact that they can't have something that isn't really real. Imagine Ava having to let go of a child, Sara having to say goodbye to a living family, Nate saying goodbye to his Dad again, Mick having to let go off being some famous writer and so on and so on for every other character. It's not their reality whether it's perfect or not at the end of the day they are heroes and now they need to prove it.

Will Avalance have a rough patch? No doubt.

Will they be broken up at the start of next season? Who knows, I don't, not really.

Will they find their place together? Definitely, I'd bet my life Legends Season 5 ends with Avalance. Though Season 6 may start with only one of them.

5. What if the opposite of the above happens?

What if it's the fact that Zari erases herself from history or never meets the Legends and detrimentally changes the future, I mean that was a theme through all of season 3 and looking back at the fantastic episode "Here We Go Again" Gideon and Zari figure out that without her they can't stop Mallus, what else would've happened without Zari.

If Zari never met the Legends what would the impact be?

First we need to take a look at Zari and what brought her too the Legends, namely her brother and the desire to save him, he gave her the totem, so let's think this through, if Zari some how manages to save her brother (I'm gonna say she saves him with her dragon, that dragon will come into play somehow, leaving it at Zari's was in no way a random thing), she never gets the totem, she never joins the Legends and the Legends no longer have six totems.

What then? What about Mallus? What about Nora?

What about Avalance, Zari (with the help of the cheeky bot, Sara's words not mine,) were catalysts for them, is it possible that without her push to Sara, Ava moved on with that ex in Vegas or someone else. It would give Legends and opportunity for some hilarious Sara jealousy and pining something we haven't really ever seen. Could you imagine? They would be friends with or without Zari but would they be together? Sara is a little stupid when it comes to admitting feelings and Ava is a little dense when it comes to anything Sara related, it would make for a joy to watch as Sara and Ava fall in love all over again but never truly get together until everything is fixed with time and they realise the lynch pin to their relationship starting was Zari.

What about Charlie? Or Constantine? Zari had a huge impact on both characters, "Legends of To-Meow-Meow" is all the proof you need.

Would Constantine even be a part of the team?

Would Charlie?

Would Mick be a writer, Zari gave him the push he needed, to be out as a writer and to be a writer. Without Zari, Here We Go Again never happened.

Zari impacted every one of Legends, willing or not. Mostly not.

What about those donuts? Would the Waverider be overrun by donuts? Poor Gideon.

Crisis on Infinite Earths

Alright this is because this makes me more nervous than Season 5 of Legends spoilers does. Probably because we haven't heard anything really and only have the comics to truly back the crazy theories surrounding it.

Lets give it a look. Canon flow of the story between all shows hasn't been the CW's greatest forte, their plot holes only seem to get bigger and bigger with every second or third episode that hits the screen as they try to tie all these shows together.

That said, one thing that has yet to become a plot hole, at least not that I've seen. Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.

The Legends were picked because they wouldn't impact history in any great way. Sara dying or any Legends dying to save the multiverse would throw a wrench into this and blow the biggest plot hole in Legends that would be pretty hard to turn around from. I'm not saying that they might not try because it is the CW but let's be honest going into Clexacon, Jes and Caity knew how Legends was going to end, Caity will be back for the next season which would be awkward if she died in the crossover (Though she does have a habit of coming back from death), so relax chill and wait to see that most likely this Crossover will show what happens with Oliver Queen the Arrow, one final Arrowverse send of for the one who started it. Love or loathe Arrow, personally for me it went downhill around season 5 but I hold a soft spot for it, love or loathe you probably wouldn't have everything else without it. So give it a round of applause when it finishes, Stephen Amell and the rest of them deserve it.

That said it is Crisis on Infinite Earths, who's to say that the new season of Legends will take place on the Earth we are familiar with, after all they're time travellers, who needs Earth, time will do just fine. Just have to wait and see.

If only we had a time machine right?

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writingguide003-blog · 5 years

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How should young women react as #MeToo moves into dating? Female writers discuss | Anne Perkins, Iman Amrani, Marie Le Conte, Rachel Shabi and Ash Sarkar

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How should young women react as #MeToo moves into dating? Female writers discuss | Anne Perkins, Iman Amrani, Marie Le Conte, Rachel Shabi and Ash Sarkar

Five female commentators share their views on how Aziz Ansari and Cat Person are taking the #MeToo debate into todays dating scene, showing gender disparity and raising consent issues

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How should young women react as #MeToo moves into dating? Female writers discuss

Aziz Ansari and Cat Person are taking the #MeToo debate into todays dating scene, showing gender disparity and raising consent issues

Anne Perkins, Iman Amrani, Marie Le Conte, Rachel Shabi and Ash Sarkar

Wed 17 Jan 2018 07.48EST Last modified on Wed 17 Jan 2018 17.54EST

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I recognise that by blaming Graces response, I am also saying that on one level Ansaris behaviour is OK. Photograph: Cassie Wright/WireImage

Anne Perkins: Being young is the time when you should be utopian in your views

Part of me wants to give Grace a really good shake. What did she expect, dating Aziz Ansari, a man 10 years older than herself and famous enough to have an overdeveloped sense of entitlement, whatever his public reputation as a thoughtful and considerate person fully signed up to #MeToo. The message of his haste to leave the restaurant, the food barely finished, the wine untasted, and race her back to his apartment is so blatant it might have been written up in one of those neon bubbles.

Her failure to tell him where to go once things went pear-shaped when she was there is even more worrying. Sure, she indicated that it was not what she wanted. A genuinely thoughtful man of course would have responded appropriately. He didnt. She should have left. That is level one in elementary social skills.

But I recognise that by blaming Graces response, I am also saying that on one level Ansaris behaviour is OK. Thats what men do. Its down to women to handle it. Get used to it.

And the point of telling stories like this is to say to other women, and men, its not you, its him. To say, check your ideas about consent. Consent is not the absence of rejection. It is not a tense silence. It is not passive. It should not be capable of being misread.

Utopian, perhaps. But whats the point of being 23 if you dont refuse to get used to stuff thats wrong?

Anne Perkins is a Guardian columnist

Iman Amrani: Bad experiences should not be lumped with serious assaults

There are three main things in my experience that can expose young women to exploitative or uncomfortable situations. First, money. Whether its keeping a job or a roof over your head, the need for it can push some women into circumstances that they wouldnt freely choose. Second, ambition. Drive can lead to women feeling forced to put up with things that they know are unacceptable, in order to achieve a greater objective.

Both of these factors expose women to abuses of power as we have seen in many of the cases of workplace harassment, from Hollywood to Westminster to all the women contributing to the #MeToo movement. Its this power struggle that adds weight to the stories about hands being placed on womens knees or unwanted advances, and its important this movement continues.

The third trap is the desire to be liked. There is a societal pressure on women to be attractive, friendly, and grateful, felt most acutely in young women. Aziz Ansaris accuser, Grace, and the narrator of Cat Person fall into this one. The latter might be fictional, but both accounts resonated widely with many young women. Both feature women in their early 20s, who found themselves in circumstances they didnt want, but felt unable to fully vocalise that they had reached their comfort limits.

Part of dating and sex as a young person is finding our boundaries, learning to protect them and develop the confidence to tell people who overstep, in no uncertain terms, where they can go. Not many people are born with this confidence, and it isnt something you can learn in a two-hour workshop on consent, but through making mistakes. Some of the situations that contribute to our experience may be unpleasant or regretful, but that doesnt necessarily mean that they should be grouped with assault, harassment or rape.

There has to be room for both men and women to make mistakes, to create a space where real dialogue can happen and where people can learn what is and isnt OK. Lumping all these grey-area stories in the wider #MeToo debate about rape, assault and the abuse of power only serves to drown out the voices of women whose stories should be focusing on this week, such as Simone Biles, and the countless other women who are bravely speaking out.

Iman Amrani is a Guardian multimedia journalist

Marie Le Conte: Men can no longer be seen as guided by their sweaty crotches

I had a conversation with an older feminist recently and she asked why women of my generation seem to hate men. We never stop criticising them, find endless examples of objectionable behaviour, and will gleefully turn on any man deemed not good enough by our precious standards.

She wasnt entirely wrong our expectations are undeniably higher than they used to be but my response was that it was, at least from my viewpoint, the exact opposite.

We expect more from men because we want to have more faith in them.

I refuse to see them as foolish animals, clumsy and to be pitied because life isnt easy when one simply cannot understand the complex and confusing women around them, choosing instead to be guided by their sweaty crotches.

This is why some of the responses to the claims about Aziz Ansari felt puzzling sure, we could have an argument about why the woman didnt leave, but why not talk about why he felt the need to keep trying it on?

Why can so many men feel so comfortable trying to sleep with women who dont want to sleep with them? Why do so many men think they can plunge their tongue down a womans throat before making sure its wanted?

Incidents which to some feel too small to be scandalous actually reveal the way men see women, and if they have no trouble crossing womens boundaries once or twice, where will they stop?

Weve been raised to see men as the superior intellectual gender, so spare me the idea that they just dont know what theyre doing.

If women can go through life without lunging at men, groping them, and treating their bodies as property, then surely we can expect men to do the same in return.

Marie Le Conte is a French freelance journalist living in London

Rachel Shabi: Older women wondering why millennials dont walk away have forgotten dark times

These stories have forced light into another area where it is sorely lacking: the stark lack of parity over sexual agency, expectation and desire. Its there in harsh, excruciating detail: the distorting and damaging ways in which heterosexual men and women are socialised about sex.

This isnt about a generational divide, despite some of the responses to such stories. Doubtless this terrain is thornier for younger women who, on top of the usual biases, are also navigating complications imposed by a certain kind of porn culture, and the image- and confidence-twisting burdens of social media.

But maybe the older women wondering why millennials dont just walk away from horrible sexual encounters have forgotten the times when they also stayed, rather than dealing with the awkwardness, risk his angry response, or navigating the paralysing weight of confusing expectation. Because women are socialised to be polite and accommodating, and are under constant pressure to be passive pleasers in every way, to the extent that our own desires and ambitions are routinely subjugated.

Such is the pervasive social messaging around gender and sexuality, such are the ever-present biases, that a woman asserting her own will or expressing a preference risks being labelled as unpleasant, unattractive or aggressive as it is in the boardroom, so it is in the bedroom. And thats before we even get to the men in the equation, with all their socially conditioned expectations, damaging biases and toxic assumptions.

Its messy and awkward and all tangled up, but if this #Metoo discussion is bringing us on to the question of what genuine equality in sex and relationships might look like, then good. In that spirit as with all parts of this debate we could do with less judgment and a lot more listening.

Rachel Shabi is a freelance writer and commentator

Ash Sarkar: A divergence in perception between men and women must be addressed

Theres a truth to the Aziz Ansari story which extends beyond whether or not he behaved in the manner alleged; that all too many of us have had sexual encounters in which one persons comfort is subordinated to the urgency of anothers desire.

Traditional feminist discourse from Susan Brownmillers Against Our Will to more recent discussions prompted by the Harvey Weinstein revelations has focused on a figure of the rapist as monstrous and malevolent. However, nearly one in three women have experienced sexual violence at the hands of an intimate partner the archetypical perpetrator looks less like a grotesque outsider, and more like a familiar neighbour. We hold him in affection and esteem. We trust him. We might even desire him.

Whatever we wear, wherever we go yes means yes, and no means no! The old Reclaim the Night slogan misled a generation of feminists into understanding consent as binary, and violation as self-evident. Were supposed to announce our consent (or lack thereof) like were entering a plea at trial.

But yes, in a context of mutual respect, might be a joyful wordlessness; no might come in the guise of not now, maybe later, or even well, OK then. In a society where sex is often seen as something to be extracted from partners like a mineral or an ore, a soft no is just so much social sediment to be worn away.

A rigidly legalistic model for understanding consent doesnt encourage men to shift the parameters of how they understand sex. The Ansari allegations show us that the task isnt to get men to see themselves as rapists, but to see their partners pace of desire as being of equal primacy to their own. There is no god-given right to orgasm: even a one-night stand requires patience, empathy and a capacity to interpret more complex cues than what is accepted in a court of law.

For what its worth, I believe Grace in her account of events. I also believe Ansari when he says: It was true that everything did seem OK to me, so when I heard that it was not the case for her, I was surprised and concerned. Its precisely this divergence of perception which men need to address. That starts with viewing consent as the beginning of a social process not a verdict at the end of a long process of litigation.

Ash Sarkar is a senior editor at Novara Media, and lectures in political theory at Anglia Ruskin and the Sandberg Instituut

Read more: http://www.theguardian.com/us

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mysteriouslyzealouspandalov-blog · 5 years

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Should I stay with my partner in our safe but loveless relationship? | Dear Mariella

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Should I stay with my partner in our safe but loveless relationship? | Dear Mariella

The fallout from an affair is still being felt and its not healthy just to wait around anticipating being separated, says Mariella Frostrup. Is it time to move on?

The dilemma Ive been with my partner for 12 years; Im 33 and hes 38. On the surface our relationship seems fine we spend time together and dont argue but I dont feel emotionally close to him. I think its because of him having an affair five years ago I have had to harden up so that I can cope on my own when he inevitably cheats again. We had counselling and I tried to move on, but I still find myself thinking about it every day. The trust has gone. Were a good match in outlook on life neither of us wants marriage or children. But my partner doesnt share my main interest, which is the outdoors, and this is holding me back from enjoying myself, as I dont want to go walking on my own or with a group of strangers. Am I being unreasonable? I dont know what love is meant to feel like after 12 years. I dont feel we are soulmates. Does it mean I dont love him any more? Ive not talked to him about any of this as I want to be more certain of my own thoughts and feelings before I open Pandoras box.

Mariella replies The lid is off. Though much of what you describe here are just the side effects of long-term cohabitation, in your case there are additional elements. The fallout from his affair has definitely not receded into the past. Its not healthy just to be waiting for him to do it again while anticipating the separation so vividly that youve emotionally prepared yourself. Its certainly a lot to do with him and his choice to be unfaithful, but you also have to take some of the blame for where you are five years down the line. If you cant forgive him, or move on past that unfortunate period, then there really is little point in staying together. A watching and waiting game is unhealthy for all concerned and if you dont see any chance of your feelings changing, I would seriously consider moving on.

The endurance test youve set yourself and the detrimental effect it will have on your relationship just isnt worth continuing with. If you cant move on mentally, then you need to do so physically so that you can both continue your lives without remaining bogged down by past betrayal. Its challenging to forgive and forget but you dont really have options. Staying together but all the while anticipating separation is a death sentence for a relationship.

I wouldnt worry so much about the overused phrases people bandy about. Im not even sure what soulmates means aside from that exciting sense of connection you experience in the first few months of a relationship when you are regularly amazed that someone could know and care for you quite so well. We live in a big, bad world and sticking together in that environment is no mean feat, but it can also offer salvation. Its the small things that really start to count, and trust and companionship are definitely high on that list.

That is why your struggle with the latter is worrying. You do seem quite set in your ways if you dont mind me saying. If you love the outdoors, why wouldnt you want to go walking alone? As a fellow walker I have to say its one of my essential sanity restorers. If you need a companion to get you going wholl offer dogged devotion and a purpose for striking out across the countryside, perhaps you could get a dog.

Youre even dismissive of walking with a group of strangers, some of whom might indeed become friends. Some of my favourite adventures have been the charity walks Ive been on with the Childrens Society, 50 total strangers hiking the Inca Trail or the foothills of Nepal, returning home with happy memories, new pals and, even on my last outing, a husband, who I met in Kathmandu!

Sometimes pushing yourself into uncomfortable situations is the best way to reinvent your life. We are often our own worst enemies when it comes to creating excuses for not doing what we know will give us pleasure. Of course there are plenty of couples to be seen wandering the highways and byways, holding hands as they pore over maps and sharing snacks from their his-and-hers knapsacks, but youll also see friends, families, siblings, colleagues and many other versions of companionship out on the footpaths. It really doesnt have to be a coupled-up affair.

Im not unsympathetic to your predicament much of what you describe will chime with others in long-term relationships but there are some bigger issues here thats its hard to ignore. My advice would be to allow yourself a few weeks and a few long walks to think carefully about everything youve written here and work out where you can do better and where you are simply stuck. Then sit down and have a conversation with your partner, who may have views of his own on the future of your relationship.

Whether he surprises you with his differing view, or confirms your current feelings are accurate about where the relationship is heading, youll at least get to air and share your feelings. No relationship can be expected to survive if you cant even discuss its future with your other half.

If you have a dilemma, send a brief email to [email protected]. Follow her on Twitter @mariellaf1

Read more: http://www.theguardian.com/us

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viralhottopics · 8 years

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Nashville lies at the heart of a divided country: Trump got bubbas to the polls

As the president staged a rally attended largely by out-of-towners, Democratic-leaning denizens of Tennessees Brooklyn pondered an urban-rural rift

Men in stetsons, check shirts and jeans swing their partners around to the thrum of drums, fiddle, keyboard and steel guitar of Mike Oldham & The Tone Rangers. The walls at Roberts Western World in Nashville, Tennessee, are coated with beer logos spelled out in neon or on lampshades or mirrors, old concert posters, photos of country music greats and three rows of cowboy boots for sale. The tiled floor is barely visible under the heaving crowd.

At this and other honky tonk bars on Broadway, Nashvilles main tourist drag, the music is old country: songs about drink, divorce, hardscrabble heartbreak, the miserable struggle to make ends meet. It is a playlist that has taken on new resonance in the era of Donald Trump, like a requiem for white working class voters in small towns who, feeling left behind with nothing to lose, propelled him to the White House.

But Nashville is a booming city where southern civility, religion and conservatism collide with a young, creative and liberal population. Paradoxically, the heart of country music is increasingly at odds in class, culture and politics with the heartland that surrounds it. In this it mirrors the dislocation of other burgeoning American cities that are islands of Democratic blue in deep red Republican states.

There is a vast gulf in ideology and approach to the world, said Bruce Dobie, a Nashville-based media entrepreneur. Its just crazy right now. My street and city are overwhelmingly Democratic. Were astonished by everything we see at the moment.

Dobie estimated that when the US president rolled into Nashville on Wednesday for a campaign-style rally, around 80% of the crowd was from out of town. Trumps warm-up acts were country singers the Gatlin Brothers and Lee Greenwood, whose rendition of God bless the USA earned a cheer with the words to the hills of Tennessee. Trump joined him on stage, grinned, shook his hand and raised two thumbs up as the crowd chanted USA! USA!, some with fists raised, in a near-religious frenzy.

So Im thrilled to be here in Nashville, Tennessee, the home of country music, southern hospitality and the great president Andrew Jackson, Trump said, referring to the 19th-century populist described by the state museum as champion of the common man and notorious for forcing Native Americans off their land.

The crowd waved signs including Promises made, promises kept, Lefty media lies and Women for Trump. Carma Williams, 63, a retired office manager who had travelled from 70 miles away, said: I love him because hes honest. Hes doing everything he said he would do during the campaign. I think hes the first president whos done that.

Inside Roberts Western World after Trumps rally in Nashville, Tennessee. Photograph: Jon Morgan for the Guardian

Outside the Nashville Municipal Auditorium there was a modest gathering of protesters. One stood out. James Walker was wearing a red Make America great again baseball cap, sunglasses, a beard, a black North Face jacket and khaki trousers. He held aloft a sign that said: Ive made a huge mistake.

The 31-year-old explained: I voted for Trump. I thought it would be a positive change, a change that Obama didnt come through on, and it would shake things up. It has shaken things up but in a bad way. I realise now that some of the things that were just campaign promises seemed to carry on beyond the election and become a reality.

Walker, who grew up in California and spent two years in the military, said he ordered the trademark Make America great again hat many weeks ago but it had only just arrived. So that was the spark: I know what Im going to do with this.

He expressed a desire for atonement. I dont know what thats going to be but this is the first step: showing up and being honest.

Walker now works as a wine broker and lives across the Cumberland river in east Nashville, dubbed the citys own Brooklyn with its embrace of beards, tattoos and artisanal foods, along with Jack Whites record label and an explosion of diverse guitar bands and songwriters. Walker added: Its mostly Democratic, blue territory. Only a few of my friends admitted to voting for Trump and did so in confidence. Today is the first day Ive gone public.

Beside him at Wednesdays demonstration was Lisa Kaas Boyle, an environmental attorney holding a bag that posed the question: What would Dolly do? a reference to country music hall-of-famer Dolly Parton, who supports gay rights but said of Trump and rival Hillary Clinton: I think theyre both nuts. Surveying the queue of thousands of Trump supporters that snaked up and around and down a grassy hill, she said: Im shocked by this huge turnout. It really feels like a gut punch for me. Im sure they came from far and wide. Its shocking to me that people have no regard for their fellow Americans.

Boyle has just returned to Nashville after 30 years, partly to be close to family and partly in response to Hillbilly Elegy, author JD Vances personal insight into problems of the white working class including alcoholism, divorce, domestic violence, drugs and hopelessness. As the Washington Post put it, elites in both parties are studying the book as a sort of Rosetta Stone to understand the conditions that enabled the rise of Trump.

The 52-year-old, said: After reading Hillbilly Elegy, I feel progressives have to be involved. I cant just hang out in California with my like-minded friends. I have to make a difference here.

In last years election, Trump trounced Hillary Clinton by 26% in Tennessee, a Bible belt state that was the birthplace of the Ku Klux Klan and was last won by a Democrat when Bill Clinton, a southerner, carried it in 1996. Among the few counties he did not win were those containing Memphis and Nashville.

There are a lot of liberal artists

Now, Nashville is thriving with an influx of young professionals priced out of other cities. A record 13.9 million people visited the area in 2016, up 45% over the past decade. The music industry is worth $10bn to the region, according to a 2013 report commissioned by the Music City Music Council, and includes Americana, jazz and other genres as well as country.

It has come a long way since the Grand Ole Opry barn dance became a radio hit in the 1940s, leading to a recording industry and stars from Hank Williams then to Taylor Swift today. It has long been seen as music of the conservative heartland when Elton John denied a rumour that he would perform Trumps inauguration, he suggested, Why not ask … one of those fucking country stars? Theyd do it for you but its relationship with politics has always been more complex than often assumed.

Downtown Nashville. Visitors to the area, drawn by its famous music scene, are up 45% over the past decade. Photograph: Jon Morgan for the Guardian

Bob Dylan, the troubadour responsible for some of the 60s defining protest songs, spent the end of the decade in Nashville and collaborated with Johnny Cash, the man in black who performed for presidents and prisoners. Merle Haggards 1969 Okie from Muskogee was regarded as a conservative anthem but he later defended the Dixie Chicks after they condemned George W Bushs invasion of Iraq and recorded a song in support of Hillary Clinton.

During last years presidential election an informal survey conducted by the trade publication Country Aircheck found that 46% of industry professionals supported Trump while 41% favoured Clinton. But unlike Hollywood, most prefer to remain silent, perhaps fearing that any declaration of allegiance risks losing half their audience.

Earlier this month an analysis by BuzzFeed found that of the 87 artists currently on either Billboards Top Country Albums or Hot Country Songs charts, only five Sturgill Simpson, Justin Moore, Chris Janson, Maren Morris and the Brothers Osborne have gone on the record with clear pro or anti-Trump views.

Sitting at the bar at the Red Door Saloon in east Nashville, Clay Johnson, 29, a composer, said: Trump probably got a lot more support from country music artists than hip-hop artists. But there are a lot of liberal artists. It would be wrong to paint them all as conservatives.

Musing on the urban-rural divide, he added: In rural Tennessee youll see people whove lived there and grown up there. In Nashville people tend to come and go like in any city. Its population versus space. Its shitty how one side can dictate how the other side lives because they live different lives. Its the same anywhere. When you live in the city, its different from living on a farm.

At another table as the clock ticked past 1am was Zie Campbell, 25, a freelance illustrator and teacher. Tennessee is a red state, Nashville is not, she said. Its a melting pot, as much of a New York as its going to get down here. This has been very hard for our specific community because we are surrounded by ignorance and bigotry.

In the rural areas theres not a desire to experience anything else. My dad smokes Marlboro Reds, Ill smoke Marlboro Reds. My dad listens to Johnny Cash, Ill listen to Johnny Cash. In the city you dont have that option any more: whether or not you are seeking it, youre forced to see others.

Zie Campbell, an illustrator and teacher in Nashville: This has been very hard for our specific community. We are surrounded by ignorance. Photograph: Jon Morgan for the Guardian

Campbells parents live 220 miles away in Knoxville. Her father voted for Trump but she found Clintons defeat devastating. She continued: I am an example of the exact opposite of my dads opinions. When the sexual harassment allegations against Trump came out, my dad and I had a long conversation. I cried. We decided were not talking politics after that.

If the other side is willing to bomb Dresden, how do you fight that?

How can the rift between urban and rural, between blue and red, be healed? I dont know if there is something to be done, Campbell said. I dont think anyone is trying to sway anyone else. I dont think theres a whole lot of grey area.

Dobie, the media entrepreneur, said: Thats the $64m question. If youre a modern Democrat youre not in the mood to pussyfoot any more, having been subjected to what amounted to the bombing of Dresden in the last election. Trump committed Dresden. No one is in the mood be accommodating or easy.

Were now in a moment when I dont see much room for sitting around the campfire and holding hands. If the other side is willing to bomb Dresden, how do you fight that? You really have to take it to the streets.

Both parties are likely to compete fiercely for what might be described as the country music constituency. Dobie said: Struggling to meet bills, shooting a deer, breaking up with your girlfriend the lyrics of the country song speak the needs, desires and concerns of the conservative folk and thats why its been successful.

Thats the crowd were all talking about. Thats the demographic thats up for grabs in America and Clinton couldnt harness. Trump got the bubbas to the polls; Clinton did not. The bubbas are listening to country music.

Clay Johnson, a composer in Nashville: Its shitty how one side can dictate how the other side lives. Photograph: Jon Morgan for the Guardian

The divisions here are reflected across America, after an election that exposed brutal faultines and the education split among whites was said to be the critical factor.

Nadine Hubbs, a professor of music at the University of Michigan and author of Rednecks, Queers, and Country Music, said: In the US, our cities are places where many of us go to prosper while small towns or exurbs or suburbs are often places where people are left behind.

Nashville and Austin [in Texas] are really good examples of this phenomenon. To bridge the gap there are economic inequalities we need to pay attention to. Often the most unbridgeable gaps are the ones created by contempt for another group: lack of respect and stripping of dignity.

The way people who are prospering look down on folks who are in rural spaces, often associated with country music, creates the kind of divisions that are really hard to bridge.

The elites talk about the need for education of people in rural spaces; well, we know almost nothing about them. The economic and social segregation of the classes is worse maybe than its ever been in our history.