#which I guess makes sense he IS the Whisper of the group

[victorluvsalice]

VITD Sims Lookbook: Victor

All right, we've seen Smiler -- time to move onto the group's beloved Whisper, Victor!

First up, a perfect everyday casual outfit for Victor once he ditches his parents and moves in with Smiler and Alice -- look at that nice red waistcoat! :D This Realm of Magic top actually looks something like what you might see if the Victor in the movie took off his tie and his jacket -- yeah, okay, it's more brightly colored, but poor Victor deserves to have a bit of color in his life, damn it. XD

For bedtime, we have some lovely blue pajamas for my boy. I went for a slightly-mismatched look between the solid blue top and the striped pants, but I think it works for him. (Besides, most of my own pajamas are like that.)

For those sort-of-formal party situations (or any situation where Victor might want a nice jacket), I decided Victor had to have this particular Realm of Magic jacket because it has a little silver moth pin on it! :D That is very much in keeping with Victor's aesthetic. Though looking at the pants again, not sold on those thick cuffs -- I think they make poor Victor's feet look even smaller.

And for those times when Victor has to go full formal, here we have him showing off the Authoritative Aristocrat's Suit from History Lover's Sims Blog! (Paired, of course, with a Simmer of the Dawn top hat.) This looked like a good "fancy" outfit for Victor, even if he is "new money" rather than an aristocrat. XD Feels, again, like something he might actually wear in the movie if we ever saw him at his actual wedding, or going to a fancy party.

As for when Victor needs to get athletic -- okay, I know this is one of the teen High School Years sports team outfits, but I really liked it on Victor as it felt like he was throwing on his old "private school" gym kit for working out. XD It just fits him! (Though I guess this does imply that private schools exist in my Valicer In The Dark AU -- maybe as part of the universities? *shrug* I shall have to update my worldbuilding!)

And finally, Victor gets his own comfy sweater to hang out in for those nippy days around Duskwall! Part of me wonders if the undershirt is a bit too casual for Victor, but I really like the sweater itself -- and he's supposed to reject his nouveau riche upbringing and become at least a little bit less of an anxious mess during his time with the Three Pillars, so hell with it. Victor can have proper casual looks. :p

[nyoomerr]

Normally, the community of Proud Immortal Demon Way can hardly be called as such. To call PIDW readers a ‘fandom’ would be akin to calling everyone who visited the same porn site a family. PeerlessCucumber is a loud exception, but in the end he’s still only an exception - by and large, people reading PIDW know exactly what they’re there for, and it certainly isn’t for any sense of shared enjoyment or community.

The community of people following PeerlessCucumber himself, however, is a whole different story.

PeerlessCucumber is the asshole single handedly responsible for at least seven different copypastas, the rich bastard that will pay an artist’s rent for a single picture of Luo Binghe if only the artist can tolerate his demands for constant revisions, the dictionary definition of an anti-fan.

He is also blissfully unaware of the absolute glee in which people take in riling him up. And in the age of the modern internet, nothing brings a group of strangers together like the opportunity to poke fun of a guy like that.

“How do I look?” HualingsWife whispers to her companions. They take a moment to scrutinize her, gaze lingering around her chest.

“I don’t know,” SwordsOfCultivators says, “I think the guy ahead of you let his robes drape open further.”

HualingsWife rolls her eyes. “If I let my robes drape open that far, I’d be disqualified - you know the rules are different for men.”

“It’s not like you’re looking to win, though,” XuanyuMeat says. “And the open chest is clearly effective.”

The three of them pause, turning to look at the stage from their spot in the wings. The competitor that came before HualingsWife is running through a series of poses that are slowly but surely allowing his robes to slip ever wider. 

Two of the judges are watching with thinly veiled amusement - after several years of this tradition, they’ve gotten used to the chaos that PeerlessCucumber’s fans bring to these cosplay competitions. 

The third judge is PeerlessCucumber himself, and he looks like he might be experiencing a serious health condition. A serious mental health condition, to be clear.

“- robes of inferior make! Binghe’s exposure is always purposeful, and artful, and it wouldn’t be because he was wearing robes that didn’t fit him! If you don’t care about dressing true to his character -!”

“Hm,” SwordsOfCultivators hums. “Is it just me, or is Peerless not being as harsh as he usually is? Do you think he’s finally losing some of his obsession with Luo Binghe?”

“He better not!” HualingsWife cries. “I’ve put way too much time and money into working on a cosplay for that awful porn book for him to lose interest right when I get my chance to join the torturing-Peerless-fun!”

“No, no,” XuanyuMeat says, shaking their head. “You heard his rants for the Luo Binghe cosplayers one through four - he was especially cruel to them! Look at his face now, that isn’t the face of someone losing interest!”

They turn back to the stage. Luo Binghe cosplayer number five - likely DickBiggerThanBinghe, if HualingsWife were to guess based on her limited interactions with him in the PeerlessWatchers discord chat - looks unbearably smug. His robes have fallen completely off his shoulders by now.

PeerlessCucumber, on the other hand, looks so red HualingsWife wouldn’t be surprised if she started seeing steam pouring out of his ears.

“Ah,” she says, understanding. “You think he’s recently finally realized his obsession with Luo Binghe isn’t that of a straight man’s?”

“I wouldn’t put it past him to get this flustered over a man’s exposed chest and still think it was caused purely by the outrage of seeing one of our ‘poorly done’ cosplays,” XuanyuMeat says wryly. They send HaulingsWife a pointed side eye. “So…”

“Oh yeah, I’m on it,” HualingsWife says, already loosening her robes further. “Just make sure to have the cameras ready to get the direct comparison of his reaction to a woman’s nip-slip versus the absolute conniption he’s going through now.”

“Please, he probably won’t even see it - he’ll probably get all awkward and look away like he does with any female cosplayer dressed in anything but a full body suit.”

“I think he’ll peek through his fingers anyway,” SwordsOfCultivators says gleefully. “He wouldn’t dare miss the chance to oggle another Luo Binghe cosplayer.”

On stage, DickBiggerThanBinghe finally waltzes off, having received his scoring from all three judges and a score from the back of the room where the group of PeerlessWatchers are sitting. 

After all, none of them are really here for the actual cosplay competition. They only care about one thing: whoever can get the highest scoring Peerless rant about their cosplay will pay for dinner for everyone that night. 

“Ohh, seven out of ten!” HualingsWife says, as the group PeerlessWatchers wave their scorecard around with glee. “The last time someone got scored that highly was when TofuBuns dared to cosplay as a half-dead Luo Binghe covered in wounds!”

“TofuBuns still has their display name set to ‘faithless mongrel undeserving of witnessing Binghes success’ in the discord server,” SwordsOfCultivators sighs. “I can only hope to one day trigger a Peerless rant so iconic.”

On stage, one of the judges glances down at the score sheet, sees that another Luo Binghe cosplayer is scheduled to come out next, and stifles a laugh before gesturing for HualingsWife to come on.

“No way I’m getting something that iconic my first try,” HualingsWife says, “but if I can get Peerless to make that hilarious choking noise he made the last time he saw a female-presenting Luo Binghe, I’ll count it as a win.”

[won4kiss]

𖠵 . ׅ ࣪ ⌇ 𝐽𝐸𝐴𝐿𝑂𝑈𝑆

ᯓ ᡣ𐭩 bf! 𝓀im 𝓈unoo x 𝑓! reader 𝒢enre. angst &fluff. 𝓢ynopsis. in which your boyfriend is jealous ! 𝑤𝑐 𐙚ㅤㅤ 612 ‎⸝⸝ not proofread skinship insecurities kiss. ୭ৎ — 𝓵𝗂𝖻𝗋𝖺𝗋𝔂 ᥫ᭡

PLEASE LIKE & REBLOG ! 𓂃

YOU HAD ALWAYS BEEN CLOSE WITH RIKI, THE YOUNGEST MEMBER OF YOUR BOYFRIENDS FRIEND GROUP.

his playful nature and youthful energy made him feel like the little brother you never had.

you enjoyed spending time with him, whether it was sharing inside jokes, playing video games, playing baseball together when jake was too tired, or even helping him with dance practice.

it was a sibling-like bond that brought you joy and comfort.

however, sunoo had been acting strangely lately. he seemed distant, often watching you and riki with an unreadable expression painted on his face.

one evening, after you had spent the day hanging out with riki, sunoo had finally reached his limit. — more under cut !

you found him sitting on the balcony, the cool night air ruffling his bright hair.

the stars twinkled above the two of you, but you could cut the tension in the air with a knife.

you took a deep breath and approached him, sensing that something was wrong.

"sunoo, can we talk?" you asked gently, taking a seat beside him.

he turned to you, his eyes filled with mixed feelings of hurt and irritation.

"do you really like spending time with riki that much?" he suddenly asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

the question caught you off guard, blinking twice in confusion.

"what do you mean?"

sunoo looked away, staring at the lit up moon.

"it just feels like... like you prefer being with him over me. i see how much fun you have together, and it makes me wonder if— if you even need me around."

your heart ached at his words, leaving a big pout on your face.

you reached out, placing a hand on his arm.

"baby, no, it's not like that at all. you got it all wrong!"

he finally looked at you with his visibly hurt expression, his eyes searching yours for reassurance.

"then what is it? why do you spend so much time with him?"

you took a deep breath, wanting to choose your words carefully.

"riki reminds me of the little brother i never had growing up. i love spending time with him because he brings out a side of me that i never got to experience. it's like having a sibling i can care for and have fun with."

sunoo's expression softened, and he seemed to relax his tense figure a little.

"wait— so, it's not because... you like him more than me?"

you shook your head, squeezing his arm gently.

"not at all. my bond with riki is different. it's special in its own way, but it doesn't compare to what i have with you. you're the one i love, sunoo. i cherish every single moment we have together."

he sighed, his shoulders dropping as the tension left his body.

"i'm sorry for feeling this way. i guess i just got insecure. i should have trusted you."

you leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek.

"it's okay to feel that way sometimes. i'm glad you told me. we should always talk about how we feel."

sunoo let out a soft giggle, the sound warming up your heart at the hint of his usual brightness returning.

"thank you for understanding. and for being honest with me."

you rested your head on his shoulder, feeling a sense of peace settle between the two of you.

"always. i love you, sunoo."

"i love you too, so much." he whispered.

the rest of the night consisted of being wrapped in sunoo’s arms holding you as you both watched the stars twinkle in the night sky, no problems in this very moment.

everything was going to be just fine.

© won4kiss 2024

taglist open ‹𝟹 @nshmuras @mioons @suneng @pnghoon @shawnyle @laylasbunbunny @privareum @briefsaladfun @greentulip

[leaderwonim]

𝐇𝐈𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐑𝐂𝐇𝐘 — one: you slept with who?

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠. lee heeseung x fem!reader, park sunghoon x fem!reader

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲. Y/N always knew that her high school was dominated by wealth and privilege. Upon having a one night stand with with popular athlete Lee Heeseung, she uncovers that Heeseung's friend group controls not only social dynamics but also school policies and local affairs, revealing a hidden world of power and manipulation behind their so called perfectly polished exteriors

masterlist | next

You woke up groaning, hand on your head as you try to make sense of what was around you.

Your head was absolutely killing you, and the mess around your room was not making things any better.

“Geez,” you whisper underneath your breath as you try to pick up some of the clothes that were on the floor, only to realize—wait—these aren’t your clothes.

You quickly turn around, eyes bulging out of their sockets when you realize Lee Heeseung is sleeping in your bed. And not just sleeping, but his clothes were discarded all over your floor.

What happened last night?

“You look like you’ve just seen a ghost.”

His voice makes you flinch back, and he raises his hands in surrender, not knowing you’d react so sensitively.

“Sorry.” He mumbles, before leaning over to check his phone on your nightstand. “Shit shit shit.”

“Do you remember what the hell happened last night?” You asked, rubbing your forehead to try and ease the pain.

“Well—Dani threw a party, and I was going for a drink refill when I bumped into you. You were pretty bummed out I guess, something about how the scholarship money wasn’t cutting it so I thought I’d show you a good time.”

He’s scrolling through his phone now, eyes widening at the amount of messages his group chat had sent last night.

Lee Heeseung, where are you?

Did your idiot ass hop the fence again? You know the neighbors don’t like you face planted on their front lawn.

You know what? Don’t even come to the breakfast at Wonyoung’s tomorrow. You’ll probably be too hungover ㅋㅋ

“Oh..” you say, knowing full well why there were clothes all over the floor now.

Heeseung seems to not care, more focused on whatever was on his phone than the complete stranger he just had sex with the other night.

“Hanni’s gonna kill me,” he groans, standing up to grab his discarded sweatpants.

“Hanni Pham? Are you guys exclusive or something because I swear I didn’t know—”

“No, we’re not.” Heeseung quickly shakes his head. “She’s just a close friend, she’s very serious about me being punctual.”

You knew Hanni. Her and Danielle were both from Australia, and on the Decelis Cheer Squad, which intimidated the shit out of you.

Hanni and Danielle were filthy rich, hell, Heeseung himself was filthy rich. Their entire friend group screamed upper high class.

“I’m gonna go,” Heeseung motions towards the door. “Promise you won’t say anything to anyone?”

“I promise.” You say.

“Thanks, you’re the best!”

He leaves without saying anything else, making you frown.

While this was your first time hooking up with someone, this must’ve been Heeseung’s hundredth.

He made it so casual that it almost has you wondering if he sees you as anything at all.

TAGLIST (closed) @cupidhoons @lilyuwon @soobeboobe @immelissaaa @coqhee @shuichi-sama @ssukiyakii @deobitifull @sunpov @anittamaxwynnn @minjaexvz @katarinamae @capri-cuntz @jooniesbears-blog @sakanelli-afc

[ukiiseikou]

these hands that saved me, they're so fragile.

tartaglia x gn! reader. when you take a hit for him. he's referred to by his real name here.

you wouldn't really call yourself a fighter per say, more of an scholar or explorer. but like everyone else in the village, you knew some basic self defense - like how to hold a bow properly and the best way to wield a knife and cut through flesh. when you finally started dating ajax, he taught you how to throw a punch properly, with your fist as tight as possible and not with your thumb tucked into your palm, "because it'll break that way".

he's brought you on several trips already - fatui missions, you know, but he swears he has the time to lounge around and accompany you on your survey of various local offerings, and he makes well on his promises, despite the bruises and extra cuts he has to go through to clean up in time. you always scold him - don't go into a battle without a clear head! - but he laughs and says that it'll be a waste to come all the way here with his favourite person and not enjoy it.

you know he has his fair share of enemies - people who would do anything to take his head off. ajax jumps at any chance to fight - like a wolf that just learnt to bare it's teeth and fight tooth and nail with reckless abandonment. he comes home bloodied and bruised nine times out of ten, always with an apology hanging by his lips as you sit him down and wipe away the splash of blood on his cheek.

you've had your own close run-ins with his foes - even after ajax made an example out of the first group that dared to touch a hair of you, the fatui's enemies pinpointed you as the weakness of the eleventh harbinger - a surefire way of getting under his skin and catching him by surprise.

"i'll protect you," he murmurs every so often in your ear at night, arms tightening around your waist as he buried his head in the crook of your shoulder, "i'll be your knight."

"i know, ajax," you've always whispered back, smoothing back ginger curls and leaving a tender kiss on his forehead.

so that's why you didn't second guess yourself and threw yourself in the line of an arrow heading towards him in his blind spot. a sniper perched in a tree that quickly slinked off when the arrowhead pierced the flesh of your shoulder and you cried out in pain.

the overwhelming sensation of pain overtakes all your senses, you can barely hear ajax call out your name and you don't register him catching you in his arms and frantically patting you on your cheek. the taste of blood fills your mouth and your eyes water at the sensation - and smell of iron in the air.

your vision fades to black.

"i'll keep an eye on them. thanks for coming around, doctor."

ajax's voice finally makes it over the noise and his face finally makes it into focus in your vision. you vaguely register that you're on a bed and you can't feel the entirety of your left side.

"ajax?" you manage to croak out. you hear frantic feet against the floor and his face pops into view, brows drawn together in worry. the bed creaks under his weight as he sits on the bed beside you, leaning over your body.

"the doctor said that most people usually take 3 hours to wake up," he mutters, and you manage to catch it as he scans over you with scrutiny.

"guess i'm not most people," you manage to raise your right arm to give him at quick tap on his hand, which immediately moves to grasps yours and give you squeeze.

"does it hurt?"

"not really. can't feel it at all, actually."

he lets out a satisfied hum, before his blue eyes turn steely again.

"what you did was stupid. why did you do that - for me?"

"hey," you muster enough strength to squeeze his hand back in response, "it goes both ways, ajax. if you were me, you would done the same."

he fumes, because he knows you're right. he would rather throw himself to the flames than to watch anyone hurt you, and he knows that if he starts scolding you all you would do is do the same thing back to him.

he settles for sighing, playing with your fingers.

"i only wish it didn't have to be that way. i'm sorry, it's all on me. i should've been better."

he places your hand on his cheek, feeling the warmth against his skin.

"ajax," you say softly as his eyes close, "i told you before - i chose to be with you. i knew what i was getting into. so don't say sorry, okay?"

you watch as he inhales, then exhales, again.

"you really are the best, you know?"

not my best work but i suddenly felt the urge. like or reblog if you enjoyed thank you~

[generalllimaginesss]

I just have this feeling that Quinn would listen to his girlfriend talk drama all day long, but he would give her the most common sense advice and it would make her frustrated. Like , no advice, just ears and the occasion opinion (but only if it agrees with her opinion).

A sweet little something for my fellow Quinn girls :))

Spilling the Tea…or Juice

There’s many important things that Quinn Hughes was responsible for since becoming captain of the Canucks. Anything from communicating practice schedules to game day pep talks and so many things in between.

While all of his responsibilities were important, he considered being your boyfriend the most important. He was often tasked with being your voice of reason, talking you down from assuming the worse of things and making sound decisions when you felt impulsive.

If he kept a resumé of the relationship between the two of you, he’d definitely add he was one of the girls. He knew every detail that passed amongst the group chat with you and your friends, whether he wanted to know or not wasn’t really a choice that he had the luxury of choosing. You could say he made the decision when he chose to be your boyfriend.

It was a picture perfect Sunday in the apartment that the two of you shared, the sun shining through the blinds, dust circulating despite yours and Quinn’s best effort to clean the day prior. As you chatted away, Quinn poured the two of you some juice that he had pressed himself, his newfound hobby giving him joy along with your presence.

“I have to tell you something that you can’t repeat, okay Quinn?” You said, taking a sip from the glass while swiveling left to right on the barstool.

“Babe, who would I have to tell?” He chuckled, stealing some strawberry slices off your plate.

“So, you know my coworker? The one that got written up last week?” You stole a piece of cantaloupe off of his plate, perhaps subconsciously playing a game of retaliation.

“The one that decided that they didn’t want to show up for work one day?” He questioned for clarity.

“Yes, that one! Well there’s rumors going around the office that he knocked up the boss’s wife and he’s about to get fired. I was told this, but it may not be true…” Trailing off, Quinn’s eyebrows raised in surprise, a sweet smirk accompanying.

“So why are you talking about it if you don’t know if it’s true? Seems like that’s not fair…” His gaze was soft, but teasing. He knew that wasn’t what you wanted to hear.

“Quinn…that’s not the point!” You whined, his smile growing in response, “…what if he did get her pregnant? We need a TV show at work.”

“What if he didn’t, though. What if you talking about it is just keeping a rumor circulating?” His words were frustrating, too true, but not what you wanted. You wanted him to gossip, which he knew, but he was giving you straight facts.

“Yeah, well, that’s not what the girls are saying…”

He walked around the bar towards you, standing behind you as he rested his head on your shoulder. His arms wrapped around your torso, thumbs rubbing along you sides.

“Oh, really?” He whispered against your ear, “What are the girls saying?”

“They’re saying that it’s true.”

“Well that just means it’s facts, then, doesn’t it?” His fingers began tickling ferociously at your sides, squeals quickly followed as you desperately tried to escape his grip.

“Quinn Hughes, stop it!”

“What do the girls say about this?” He spun your stool around as he placed a gentle kiss to your lips, supporting your chin with his hand.

“Mmm,” You said between kisses, “…I think they would say that we should have a second course here on the bar…” You moaned.

You tried to deepen the kiss, but he pulled away, giggling as you whined about it.

“Has anybody ever told you that you suck at spilling tea?” You grabbed his hand, pulling him close to you.

“Well I guess it’s a good thing I drink juice…”

*

*

*

*

I love Quinn Hughes. That is all.

[wannab-urs]

Title: Something Sweet

Pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader

Summary: You’re new to the team in Colombia and all alone on your birthday. Your partner, Javier Peña, decides to do something sweet for you. 

Tags: Set vaguely during season 1 before Javi gets extra angsty, canon compliant-ish, reader feeling lonely, sassy!reader, flirty!javi, alcohol (wine), brief mention of a gun bc I feel like a DEA agent wouldn’t just answer the door all willy nilly, kissing, javi asking for consent, but y’all did share a bottle of wine, kissing, fingering f receiving, marking, unprotected PinV, cuddling. I always write angsty Javi, but this is FLUFF, so sorry if it’s OOC, I’m slightly out of my element here. 

WC: 2107

A/N: This fic is a birthday gift for @psychedelic-ink. Sil, you’re a wonderful friend and you do so much for the Pedro Pascal Fandom community on top of being an incredible writer. So, with some help from @pedrorascal with the beautiful gifs, I schemed up a little fic for you. I hope you love it! Happy Birthday and Happy Holidays AHHHH. 

Moving to a new country two weeks before your birthday, which also happens to be Christmas Eve, is not ideal. You moved to Colombia from Miami after a promotion, earning a spot on the elite team working to catch Pablo Escobar. 

The last two weeks have been a whirlwind, trying to catch up on all the facts of the case. You have to learn every sicario by sight and all of their names, aliases, and frequent hang outs. You have to learn about everything Escobar has done in Colombia, all the cartels and how they connect, it’s all extremely exhausting and time consuming. 

Which is why you have no friends yet, unless you count your new partners Javier Peña and Steve Murphy. Which you don’t. You barely know them, and from what you’ve seen so far, Peña is an asshole. Steve might be okay, but you just haven’t had time to get to know him yet. 

You take off your windbreaker and hang it on the back of your chair. It’s kind of ridiculous that you have to work on Christmas Eve, but there’s no rest for the wicked and therefore no rest for you either. You sit down and open the first file on your desk, immediately getting down to business without so much as a greeting for your partners. 

A couple hours into the work day, a shadow darkens your desk. “What do you want, Peña?” 

“God damn, hermosa. Touchy today? I brought you a coffee.” Peña sets the cup of lukewarm black slop on your desk and leans further into your space, peeking at the files you’re reading. 

“Yes, actually. Did you need something or did you just come over here to bother me?” 

“I just came over here to compliment your nails, actually,” he takes your hand in his, inspecting your nails, and then looks into your eyes. “I like the color. Suits you.” 

You feel heat rise to your cheeks. Peña is cute. Gorgeous, really, but you don’t make a habit of flirting with your coworkers. “Thanks… They were my birthday gift to myself.” You tug your hand away from him and place it in your lap. 

“It’s your birthday?” He asks, still leaning much too far into your personal space. You nod and look back down at the file. 

“I have to get back to work now,” you almost whisper to him, all your bitter snark from earlier replaced by a sense of melancholy. There’s not a soul in this entire country who knows it’s your birthday today. Aside from Javier, now, you guess. Javier lingers for another moment before pushing off your desk and leaving you to your work. 

You’re starting to pack up for the day when Peña comes up to your desk again, sitting on the corner. 

 “So what are your plans tonight?” he asks. 

“Huh?” You don’t have any plans. A phone call from your friend in Miami and a bottle of Chilean wine maybe. 

“Your plans? For your birthday?” 

“Oh. I don’t have any. Don’t really know anyone yet so…” you trail off. You feel kind of pathetic, even though you know it’s completely reasonable to not have a group of friends yet. 

“Me and Murphy could take you out?” 

“Oh um–”

“Actually, Jav,”  Steve calls out from his desk. “Me and Connie have plans tonight. Christmas Eve and all,” he gives you an apologetic look. 

“It’s fine really. I’m gonna have a nice relaxing night in. Thanks though.” You put on the best smile you can and head for the door. 

You hang up the phone after your short call with your friend. It’s expensive to call long distance, but she stayed on with you as long as she could. She told you all about her new boyfriend and that everyone had wished you a Happy Birthday and Happy Holidays. You’re grateful she didn’t ask about your job or your love life. 

As you pop the cork on a bottle of wine, there’s a knock on your door. You stare at the door questioningly, as if it will tell you who’s there. Who on earth could be knocking at your door at 8pm on Christmas Eve? 

You grab your gun and sneak over to the door, peeking through the peephole. Broad shoulders and a dark head of hair are all you can make out through the tiny lens. Javier? You set your gun on the side table and pull open the door. 

“Peña? What are you doing here?” 

He turns around and holds his hands out to you. “Brought you something.” He’s holding a birthday cake, clearly store bought, decorated with a generic “Feliz cumpleaños” scrawled on top. A bright smile lights up your face. 

“Oh Javi, you didn’t have to!” 

“I wanted to. You gonna invite me in for some cake?” He raises his eyebrows at you. 

“Oh! Yeah sure. Come in!” You step to the side to let him through and close and lock the door behind him. “Sorry about the mess. I’m not fully unpacked yet.” 

“I’ve been here for 7 years and I’m not fully unpacked. It’s fine.” Javi reassures you. He sets the cake down on your kitchen counter and starts rifling around for plates and silverware. 

“I can do that,” you try to move him out of the way, but he’s having none of it. 

“No, it’s your birthday. Let me. You pour yourself a glass of wine and go sit on the couch.” 

“Fine… thank you.” 

“You’re welcome.” 

You grab a couple glasses and the bottle of wine and carry it to the living room with you. You’re kind of shocked he’s here. He’s always flirty in the office, but he’s like that with everyone. He’s not what you’d call friendly otherwise. Maybe he just feels bad for you. 

Javier drops down onto the couch beside you holding two plates with hefty slices of chocolate cake. He hands you one of the plates and a fork. “Happy birthday. I’m not going to make you do the whole candle thing.”

“Thank you, Javier. This is really, really nice.” You feel like you might cry. It’s just cake, but you felt so alone, and it’s like he really saw you. He saw through whatever exterior shell you were wearing and decided to try to make your day better. 

“Just Javi is fine. And it’s not a big deal, really. You deserve something sweet on your birthday,” he says looking down at the cake in his hands.

“It is to me. A big deal, I mean,” you say softly before taking a bite of the cake. It’s nothing special, just a plain chocolate cake, but it means so much to you. 

You and Javier, Javi, chat about where you’re from and how you came to work for the DEA. You tell him about living in Miami, about the promotion that brought you here. You finish the bottle of wine and a couple more pieces of cake and the conversation doesn’t stop for a long time.

Late in the evening, you finish a story about your 6th birthday, one your aunt always told to the whole family every single year at your birthday dinner. He’s sitting close to you, his thigh pressed against yours despite there being plenty of room on the couch to sit without touching. It makes your heart flutter a little. 

You don’t know if it’s the wine or what, but the little crush you have on him is getting pretty hard to ignore. Javi smirks at you, reaches up, and brushes his thumb over the corner of your lip. 

“Got a little icing there, cariño,” he says, his voice lower and huskier than it has been all night. He brings the icing smeared thumb to his mouth and sucks it between his lips. Your eyes track the movement, pupils blowing wide. He really is pretty. 

You feel yourself lean in toward him, almost unconsciously chasing that thumb to his mouth. He brings his hand up to your cheek and searches your eyes for a moment. He must see what he was looking for because he pulls you closer and presses his lips to yours. 

His lips are soft, warm, gentle on yours. You grab his face in your hands, not wanting him to pull away yet. He slips his tongue along the seam of your lips and you part them, letting him in. You’re not sure who makes the move, but slowly, your back is lowered to the couch, Javi a comfortable weight on top of you. Your hands explore his broad shoulders, the muscles of his back, his trim waist, as he plunders your mouth with his tongue. 

“Can I touch you?” He rasps against your lips. 

“You already are,” you giggle. “Sorry. Yes, Javi.” 

He huffs a laugh into your mouth and slips a hand into your lounge pants, fingers finding your dripping seam. “Wet for me already, hermosa?” 

Your cheeks heat up in slight embarrassment, but you nod. You’re soaked just from kissing him. By the feel of him against your thigh, he’s not better off. He pushes two fingers inside you and presses his lips back to yours. You gasp into his mouth, hands fisting in the back of his shirt. 

His fingers immediately find the spongy spot deep in your core. He curls them, dragging the pads of his fingers along your g-spot with every pump of them inside you. You cling tightly to him, burying your face in his shoulder. 

“Come for me, baby.” 

Your body responds to his command instantly, the tension in your belly releasing into waves of pleasure. Your cunt flutters around his fingers and you whine into his neck as he works you through it. You collapse back onto the couch, and he wastes no time dragging your pants off you. 

You hear the clink of his belt opening, the sound of it hitting the floor. You sit up on your elbows to watch him as he strips off the rest of his clothes. You bite your lip, drinking in the sight of the gorgeous man before you. 

He takes your hands in his and pulls you to your feet before pulling your tank top off you. “Shit, hermosa,” he whispers almost reverently as he takes one of your tits in his large hand, rolling the nipple between two fingers. “Gorgeous.” 

 He kisses you again, wrapping his strong arms around your body and pushing his chest flush with yours. “Bedroom, cariño?” 

You walk him back to your room, barely separating your lips from his for the entire journey. You fall back on your bed and he follows, settling between your legs. His lips drag down your jaw line to your neck as he lines himself up with your entrance. Javi sucks a mark just below your collarbone as he slowly thrusts inside you. 

You wrap your legs around his hips and pull him deeper into you, whining at the stretch. “Fuck, Javi.” 

“Working on it, cariño,” he teases as he bottoms out inside you. He pushes himself up on his elbows and stares into your eyes as he pulls out and thrusts back in smoothly. Your mouth falls open, a little huff spilling out as he bottoms out again. He feels so fucking good inside you. 

Javi sets a steady pace, thrusting into you hard and slow, eyes never leaving yours. When your eyes flutter shut and your back starts to arch in pleasure, he slips his arm under your back, pulling your hips higher on his thighs. The new angle is everything. You gasp out a moan every time his cock punches deep inside you.

Javi is everything in this moment. Your world narrowed to the feeling of his cock pounding into you at that same maddeningly slow, hard rhythm. You feel yourself tightening around him, feel a coil winding in your belly tighter and tighter. 

Javi’s lips find yours again with a kiss that’s more a clash of teeth and tongues than anything as you come hard on his cock. Javi lets out a low groan into your mouth at the way you squeeze him. He thrusts into you a few more times, fucking you through your high, before he quickly pulls out and spills all over your belly. 

He rests his forehead on yours for a moment, catching his breath. He kisses you deeply one more time before falling to the bed beside you. Javi pulls you into his arms, not paying any mind to the mess he made on your stomach. He holds you close, kissing the top of your head. 

“Happy Birthday, cariño.”

[hart269]

Corridors and Confessions | Oneshot

Pairing : Remus Lupin x Reader Summary : Were you avoiding Remus Lupin, yes. Did you want to? No. Will you gather to courage to solve all this? Maybee Warnings : Idiots in love

Masterlist

You've been avoiding Remus Lupin. Did you want to, no, Merlin, no, but did you need to, not really that too, but you had to or you will surely combust.  He is one of the greatest people to walk on Earth, and you have one of the greatest crush crush on him, or maybe even more than that, considering how long you've had it.

The reason you were avoiding him was purely embarassing if you may, you were in the library, searching for a charms book, when you saw remus with the rest of the group, and you couldn't help yourself.

He stood there talking, maybe arguing, his sweater stretched as he rubbed the back of his head in frustration, you were practically gawking at the point, when he turned around, both of your eyes simultaneously widened as they locked.

The silent library fell even more quiet as everyone turned to look at you, you felt your cheeks warm up. Your head shot up as Remus called your name,  you gulped, "I, um, I".

Your brain had  practically stopped working, the room felt like a small box with the walls closing in, you couldn't look at Remus anymore, you sharply turned and practically ran out.

Since then you wanted to strangle yourself just releiving the memory, and thus you were avoiding him but it wasn't you only, Remus was sorta avoiding you too, which definitely meant he didn't want to face you either, God he probably knew and didn't want to confront.

You wanted the eartth to swallow you whole.

At the same time, you hated the rift that came between you,you didn't even have your caual talks. Even his friends stared at you weirdly, you knew you needed to atleast talk to Remus, you just needed to corner him when he was alone.

The opportunity presented itself, since both Remus and you were prefects, you were required to patrol the hallways. So, the next date it was due, you were fiddling with your robe when Remus silently joined you. The corridor felt stuffy, covered in a tension so thick, you can make whipped cream out of it.

You internally groaned, and glanced at Remus who looked at anywhere but you, god you must had made him feel really awkward, especially infront of his friends.

You had to do it, "Remus". His had snapped towards you, "Yes". You gulped, "I'm sorry for, uh that day, in the library"

Remus nodded, still avoiding  to look at you, "Yeah, I mean, I guessed you would have probably found out that I'm a werewolf"

You choked on your spit, "You are a werewolf" you whisper-yelled wide eyed. Now, Remus panicked, "Wait, you didn't know"

"No, no, I didn't" you were gaping you.

"Why did you run from the library then?" Remus's frenzied voice echoed.

"Because I was ogling at you and I thought you all caught me, it was embarassing"

Remus was full on panicking, "Oh my God, whhat have I done" he leaned against thte wall, Remus grabbed your hand, "Please, don't tell anyone"

"I won't" you solemnly nodded, ignoring the sommersaults in your stomach, as you held his hands, your head came to a sudden realization, "Is that why you were avoiding me?"

"The day at the library, you were standing near us and we were talking about it and, we thought that you had heard, and that's why run, cause-" he took a big gulp of air, you squeezed his hand "cause it's horrifying to know the person you wander the corridors with is a monster"

 

"No, you're not" you whispered, he shook his head.

You shook his shoulders violently, "You idiot, Merlin, Are you stupid, or am I" you trailed before looking him in the eyes, " No, how can you say that, you are like the best person I've met in hogwarts, you are so kind, you are so smart, you are like the best student and you're so stupidly pretty, in the sense, that I lose my brains whenever I look at you, you run through my mind and I lose all my train of thoughts and Merlin-" you were shushed as Remus's lips were pressed onto yours, which went as quickly as they came.

Remus gaped at you, "Sorry, I should have asked fir-" this time you were the one to shut him up, this time properly kissing him, Merlin it felt like a dreamwhen you two pulled away,

"You like me" Remus said, resting his forehead on yours. 

"I think I made that pretty sure" you giggled, "I should ask you that"

"I do, I have since forever" Remus sighed, you were pretty sure you had died and come back.

Remus smiled, he leaned to kis-"OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE" you two jumped apart as you saw the rest of the marauders standing there.

"We were pretty sure somebody died and here you two are" James exclaimed.

You shook your head, "What are you all doing here?"

"You two were at one location for so long, we thought something must have gone wrong" Peter explained.

Sirius grinned, "But the scene here is-", Remus loudly interrupted him, "Okay that's enough, guys go back, I'll be pack after patrol"

They all turned around there way, "Tell us if you discover a new corridor though" Sirius winked.

Remus groaned in embaressment, his cheeks flushed red, while you giggled leaning to kiss him again.

[all4aoki]

  ⊹ 𝓢END 𝓐 𝓢IGNAL ⠀Ꮺ ָ࣪ ۰ ִ

you hated change, but maybe it was necessary for your happiness . . . enha x f!reader (pjs focused), poly!enha, enha8thmember

wc . . . 13.1k , warnings! my poor attempts of writing angst, cheating / talks of cheating, mentions of kidnapping & death, rushed writing, me guessing stuff about being an idol, not proofread

previous episode ᨳ next episode

©all4aoki, 2024

Something was wrong. Not the kind of wrong that settled heavily in your gut and told you that you needed to remove yourself from the situation, but the kind that started as a small voice in your brain and morphed into something you thought about constantly. Which was strange to you. Promotions for Border: Day One were finally coming to an end and the preparations for your group’s next mini album had already begun, so while the stress of your job hadn’t fully gone away, you didn’t think it was the cause of your intuition going haywire

That feeling would only rear its ugly head where it was unwanted when you would watch them interact. Normally, when the male members of Enhypen spent time together, love was the only emotion you could sense. Fondness. Joy. Whatever you wanted to call it, it didn’t make you feel uneasy. But recently, when you saw Sunghoon and Jay together, a part of your mind related them to a ticking time bomb. The reason was unclear, but the way their eyes shined with a kind of passive aggressiveness when the other wasn’t looking and the fact that they had been only communicating with each other in short sentences since a week ago screamed unhealthy to you. After all, you had never seen them engage in what you assumed to be a fight. And since you were such a good girlfriend, you were going to stay out of it until Sunghoon said something to you.

Besides, resolving tensions was Jungwon’s job.

“I think you’ve developed a staring habit,” Sunoo said from beside you on the couch. You blinked away from the video game the eldest four of the group were playing on the TV.

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion, “What’d you mean?”

“What do you mean, ‘What do you mean’?” He continued eating the ice cream that had somehow found its way into your fridge one day. “I swear every time I look at you now you’re spacing out.”

Well, to be fair, you were trying to put the pieces of some kind of puzzle together. “I was just thinking–” you hesitated, but quickly concluded that if anyone would shut down your worries speedily, it would be Sunoo. You lowered your voice to a whisper, “Do you think Hoon and Jay-oppa are mad at each other?”

The two boys in question were sitting on the floor, a large amount of distance and Heeseung between them. 

Sunoo didn’t say anything.

“Mmm… you know something, don’t you?” you giggled as he shrugged and took another bite from his dessert. “Tell meee,” you whined, throwing yourself onto Sunoo’s lap only for him to (somewhat) gently push you off and onto the floor. 

The thud of your landing made seven other heads snap in your direction. 

“Sunoo-ah did you just push my girlfriend off the couch?” Sunghoon asked, getting up quickly and taking the short five steps to your spot on the floor. You sat up easily and rubbed the back of your head to make sure nothing hurt.

The rest of your members were unsurprised when Sunghoon and you announced your relationship. Maybe you two hadn’t done the best job of hiding it, but you still thought that with the debut, they wouldn’t have noticed anything. Turns out the way Sunghoon looked at you, as if you hung the moon and stars, and how you had barely let him out of your grasp were clear indicators of your relationship. So after a few weeks of being together, and when you were sure you were never getting away from the honeymoon phase, the two of you had sat the rest of the members down only to be met with: “Oh we already knew.”

Sunghoon kneeled down next to you, one of his hands coming up to meet yours on the back of your head and the other wrapping around your waist. His fingers rubbed against the silky strands of your hair as he felt for any kind of forming bump.

“He didn’t push me that hard,” you reassured. “I’m fine. Promise.”

You tried to disregard the concerned looks and Heeseung’s request for he himself to look at your head. In an attempt to distract yourself, you took Sunghoon’s hand from the back of your hand and tenderly placed a kiss on his palm, then on the corner of his mouth after shifting onto your knees.

“M’ not a baby,” you said, ruffling his hair before sliding over to the base of the couch. Your feet crossed under you as you settled between Jay and Sunoo, who was still unphased on the sofa. 

Riki scoffed from his spot on the furniture, in the far right corner, “Get a room!” 

Sunghoon responded with a roll of his eyes. 

He followed you to your new position on the floor, pushing at your legs so he could lay on his back between them. You complied, dropping them straight and letting him rest his head back on your stomach. Sunghoon at some point had gotten his controller back as well, and for a few minutes, there was silence apart from the shooting and violence of the video game.

The game was quick to become boring and you reached behind you, hand blindly searching for your phone. Thankfully, Sunoo placed the device right in your grip before you would’ve had to ask Sunghoon to sit up for you to look. 

“Thanks, Sun,” you whispered to him and he smiled softly at you. When you turned your eyes away from him, glancing to your right, there was Jay. His jaw was set in a form that looked too tense to be comfortable and his knuckles white from holding onto the controller with a hand that was probably too tight. 

Yeah, something was definitely wrong.

You felt something shift against your stomach and you looked down to realize that Sunghoon had been looking up at you. He had been watching you study one of his best friends who was sitting a little too close to you for him to not feel a bit antsy. A small grumble left him with a choice of words you couldn’t comprehend and then Sunghoon was forcing one of your hands into his luxurious-feeling locks. Out of instinct, you ran your fingernails along his scalp in an attempt to calm him down. 

You had kept your interference between the male members and their conflicts to a minimum, in firm belief that they were mature enough to sort out their differences, but there was a part of you that kept tempting you to do something this time. 

Rarely did they need help, and you figured that they wouldn’t ask for it unless it was absolutely necessary. In fact, they honestly might not ask for help at all, pride and ego being traits that were still overwhelmingly strong in their personalities. And while you didn’t want them to be angry at you for trying to extend an assisting hand, you didn’t want the people you loved fighting each other either. So, maybe you didn’t have to do anything. Asking wouldn’t hurt. That way, you would at least be aware of whatever was going on between the two boys. Then you would be able to decide what to do. 

Nodding a bit to yourself, you twisted your head to be directed towards the elder male on your right. “After this round can you help me make some food?”

Jay’s eyes snapped over to you, and you were surprised at the sharpness they held. Was he angry at you too? Your confidence in your plan faltered at his reaction to your request. Subconsciously, you shrunk away from him, your eyes suddenly unable to meet his for more than a few seconds. 

“Sorry, I was just hungry.”

Jay blinked slowly and tilted his head to the side as he went back to the game, “Of course, we can make something. Don’t apologize if you’re hungry.” Somehow that made you feel worse. 

Sunghoon moved against your belly again, “Let me make something for you.” Normally, you would’ve gladly accepted the offer, but you felt as if you needed to talk to Jay. It was weird, you’d never played the mediator before. Usually, you would stand off to the side and watch everything unfold, only interjecting when necessary, but maybe it was time that you began trying to help your loved ones in more ways than one. 

You smiled down at Sunghoon, his head pressing into the soft skin of your stomach as he craned his head back at you. “Thank you, Hoon, but I want an edible meal.”

“Yah, I can cook!” he pouted and you cooed at the cute expression. Your thumbs ran over the smooth expanse of his cheeks and he leaned into your touch.

Prickles of heat on the right side of your body began to rise and at the feeling, you glanced over your shoulder to find Jay staring at the two of you. 

“Jay-oppa can make me something, Hoon.”

“Yeah, Hoon, let Jay-oppa make YN-ie something.” You didn’t like how he emphasized the two boys’ names. Especially with the way Sunghoon sharply tilted his head towards his elder. If you could’ve seen his eyes, you figured they would be burning with some kind of anger considering the way his muscles tensed.

For a moment, the only sounds that met your ears were the quiet conversation the other members were having, the TV in the background, and the video Sunoo was watching as he undoubtedly eavesdropped on the three of you.

“Mmm, okay,” Sunghoon sighed as he turned away from Jay, facing the television and placing his elbows on the outside of your legs. Harshly, he pulled your limbs closer to his sides with his arms and you almost yelped at the way your legs slid on the ground. 

His thumbs rattled the buttons and joysticks with an alarming speed, “As long as I get to feed you when he’s done cooking, princess.”

Your face scrunched up in confusion and maybe a hint of disgust at his words. Feed you? What was he saying? Sunghoon was well aware of your love for your independence, and while you’d slowly been allowing him to take care of you in ways that you previously hadn’t wanted, he should’ve known that you could do basic human functions. 

“What’re you…” you softly muttered to yourself, but ultimately gave up on your point. You cleared your throat quickly, shifting your attention back to Jay. “Do we still have stuff for bibimbap?”

“I don’t want bibimbap!” Jake cried from the other side of the room.

You laughed, “Then you don’t have to have any!”

“Yeah, I’m just making food for YN-ie and me to eat,” Jay added. 

“And me,” Sunghoon said. You mentally cursed him. Of course, you loved the boy more than anything else in the world, but there shouldn’t have been a reason as to why he wasn’t letting you spend one-on-one time with another member. Especially not Jay. 

The elder had been there for you as soon as Part 2 of I-Land began, almost acting as some sort of caregiver. Brother definitely wasn’t the right word, he was always too nice and a tad bit too nervous to engage in any sort of sibling-like banter. Friend for sure. He was always the one checking up on you after those first weeks, making sure you were tending to your needs and doing it for you if you admitted you hadn’t.

If Sunghoon should’ve had the most trust in any of the members for your well-being, it should’ve been Jay. But now he was engaging himself in every instance of alone time you had with Jay.

Your fingers stroked his face again, relishing in the warmth that radiated from his body, “Didn’t you just eat?”

He chuckled, “I’m always hungry.”

“Don’t they need you here to play the game?”

“I’m sure they’ll manage.” So he wasn’t going to relent this time. “It’s starting to sound like you don’t want to spend time with me!” Sunghoon teased playfully. You did your best to act like he hadn’t caught your plan of action to solve this cold war-esque fight.

Suddenly, your face felt warm. “Hoon, that’s not true. I don’t want you to overeat–”

“Wow,” Sunoo said from above you. 

You glared at him from over your shoulder, “Hush.” The boy simply shrugged. “You know what, I actually can’t wait.” As gently and lovingly as you could manage, you lifted Sunghoon’s upper body off of you and laid him back on the ground as you stood up. 

You offered a hand to Jay. 

His dark eyes flickered between your outstretched palm and your boyfriend that was spread out on the tile, Sunghoon’s own eyes studying you as if you were some sort of goddess. It looked like he was thinking about something, but before you could try to deduce what, Jay’s rough palm slid into your hand as he got up. 

Even when you tried to tug away, his fingers held your smaller ones tight.

“I was asking for your controller,” you muttered, taking the item from his other hand and tossing it to Sunoo. “Here, Sun, you play.”

Sunoo whined a bit, but made room in his hands for the device, balancing what little remained of his ice cream against the object. Sunghoon nudged your ankle with his hand and you instantly found him.

A soft smile was swift to grace your lips and his small grin matched yours.

“I love you,” you said and Jay moved behind you, pulling you towards the kitchen. A chorus of “I love you too” followed, Sunghoon yelling how your words were meant for him being the last thing you heard before you were left in mediocre silence with the older male in the kitchen.

For a while, nothing was said. Your throat felt clogged every time you thought you were finally going to say something. It was almost embarrassing how you couldn’t find the comfort that was usually there when you spoke to Jay. It had been routine for everything to be so easy between the two of you and you weren’t sure when that’d changed.

Silently, you slid into one of the chairs at the island that Jay was now using to prep your requested dish.

“Do you want to help?” he asked, beginning to prepare the rice. You shrugged and pulled the cutting board that he’d gotten out to your side of the island. 

“If you need it so bad, sure.” He glanced at you from over his shoulder. Snarkily, you smiled at him. And as he got the package of shredded carrots out of the fridge, you began cutting up the cucumber.

Jay furrowed his eyebrows and leaned on the counter, “I’m not sure if I like that cutting technique you’re using.”

“I thought you wanted me to help,” you said, popping one of the slices into your mouth and chewing.

Jay slipped the cutting board away from you as quickly as you had taken it, “Sorry Kendall Jenner, but I don’t want you losing a finger.” You pouted at his words, face scrunching up as he voiced his playful doubt. 

“Hey…” you whined as he gently took hold of the wrist of the hand that was holding the knife, taking the tool from you. “I’m never gonna get better at cooking if you don’t let me try!”

He chuckled at your reaction, chopping up the rest of the vegetable and handing you a few pieces as he did so. You ate them, but not without frowning at him as he gave you each one. 

“Don’t need you hurting yourself though,” he explained. “And when I teach you to cook we would be making a nice meal. Something they would serve at an expensive restaurant.” 

The thought of him instructing you, getting closer than he normally would, whispering to you as you both shared laughter made your face flush. The alarming sensation of butterflies in your gut suddenly rushed over you. It was a feeling that you only got with Sunghoon. A feeling that you were only supposed to get with Sunghoon. You brushed it off. You were thinking about Sunghoon, that was probably why you suddenly felt that good kind of nervousness. The one that was one of the many reasons that made you understand why being in love was so wonderful. Something that made life so enjoyable. 

You did your best to smile, pushing down whatever had found its way into your gut. 

“I don’t think I have the patience to work on something for that long.”

“Well, you do it every day. As your job, so the least you could do is spend some time with me.” One more cucumber. You took it halfheartedly. 

“Yeah… I’m sorry I haven’t been hanging out with you guys as often as I used to but I’ve been trying to–”

“Be with Sunghoon,” Jay finished for you. As a response, you nodded. The timer for the rice went off, and Jay slowly spun around to get the food. The smell of comfort filled the space, and you sunk a bit into the hardness of your seat. “I just can’t believe that he thinks it’s okay for you to be with him 24/7 because you’re…”

He couldn’t even finish his sentence.

“Dating?”

“Yeah,” Jay agreed right away. You watched as he retrieved two bowls from one of the cupboards and began assembling the bibimbap for the two of you. After those words, it was easy to piece together that he was angry at Sunghoon because you’d been spending all of your free time with him. And honestly, that made you angry.

Of course you were going to spend time with your boyfriend. While you still wanted to keep your friendships with the rest of the members strong, you were going to prioritize the boy you were in love with because, well, you were in love with him. 

You cleared your throat awkwardly, “Is that why you’ve been so passive-aggressive with him lately?” Jay said nothing as he moved to the end of the table to retrieve two pairs of chopsticks. 

“Don’t worry about whatever small fight we’re having,” Jay said, giving you a close-lipped smile as he handed you the bowl of food that you’d been supposedly craving. “We’ll get past it soon. We’re just like brothers… and it’s a small misunderstanding.”

Gently, you blew on the food before you brought a mouthful to your lips, humming as you chewed. He was probably right. The boys had had small arguments and miscommunications before, and it never took them extremely long before they made up. They loved each other too much to fight for that long. And they probably already had separation anxiety from each other, like you did. You always felt guilty whenever you were mad at one of the other members. At first, anger would drive your actions and thoughts, but the culpability would never be far behind, and you were never able to hold a grudge or stay in a fight for more than two or three days.

Maybe you forgave people too easily, or maybe you just had the blessing of empathy.

“Well,” you started, stirring your food around with the metal chopsticks. “If there’s anything I can do, please let me know.” Jay grinned at you, his mouth full of the hot bibimbap. 

“Just don’t forget about the rest of us, okay?” He reached over and instinctively, you leaned back, dodging his touch. “Relax, you have sauce on your mouth,” he laughed and you tried to do the same as he wiped the corner of your lips with his thumb. Something in your chest sped up. 

Your shocked expression must’ve been extremely amusing to the older male because as he slipped the thumb with the gochujang sauce into his mouth, he couldn’t help but laugh again.

You shouldn’t have listened to Jay.

While he almost always knew what he was talking about, somehow having just a bit more wisdom than the rest of you and not hesitating to use it, apparently, he had no idea that this whole scenario was worse for Sunghoon. You had left the subject of his growing tensions with Jay to rest, figuring that you were doing the right thing by letting them fix things on their own. Especially after your interaction with Jay in the kitchen. 

You had slowly begun returning to your old ways of spreading your time out equally with all of the members. Eating breakfast with all of them instead of hole-ing yourself up in your room with Sunghoon and going out with the members one-on-one. Not to say you were ignoring them in the first place, you still had been with them for the majority of your days, but having the opportunity to connect with them on a personal level again was making a part of you feel whole again. It was weird to think about. Your heart was already so full and content when you were with Sunghoon, and you knew that being with him was more than enough for your happiness. But that happiness increased tenfold with the rediscovered relationships of you and your other members.

You hadn’t even noticed that you’d somewhat been isolating yourself with Sunghoon.

But apparently, this sudden change in your everyday routine was enough to send him over the edge. 

The two of you had yet to sleep in separate beds since you got together, and it had become a nightly ritual for the two of you to get ready for bed together. It was an intimate way to end the day and being with him calmed all of the worries and stresses that you’d dealt with for all of the hours that you’d been awake. Laughing with him was so easy and it was adorable the way he’d sit on the closed toilet while waiting for you to finish your skincare. 

And as you both entered the bathroom, you found yourself repeating that same phrase that had become your mantra for the past week: something was wrong. 

He was quiet as you slipped on your headband and he stayed that way as you brushed your teeth, waiting for you to spit in the sink so he would have the space to do so as well. You studied him as you stood straight, left hand holding your hair back so you wouldn’t get any toothpaste in it. Sunghoon’s face was devoid of any emotion. Blank. But his eyes held a kind of annoyance that you’d rarely noticed before. 

His movements were sharp with agitation as he turned the water on to wash the brushes, and you didn’t miss how he bit the inside of his cheek. You gaped for words. The last thing you wanted to do was make him even angrier, and considering you had yet to see Sunghoon this angry without him even saying anything, you weren’t quite sure how to comfort him. You weren’t that great at comforting people in the first place. Once again, you never really knew what to say, but that was what worked so well with you and Sunghoon. He never knew what to say either. You would hold each other and only share words to explain after your severe emotions had passed like the worst of a storm. 

This didn’t feel like that. It was almost as if he was waiting for you to say something, to provoke him. He’d been bottling up his frustration with the rest of your members for so long that he was ready to explode. And at that moment, you knew he wanted to explode at you.

“What’s wrong?” you finally asked, voice meek. No eye contact was made as Sunghoon sighed deeply, not even bothering to lift his head in your direction. 

“Nothing.”

You wanted to groan, to roll your eyes at his stubbornness, but you reminded yourself to have patience or nothing good would come from this conversation. “That’s not true, Hoon… I love you and if something’s bothering you–”

“Do you?” You looked at the back of his head, face scrunching a bit in confusion. Before you could say anything he continued, “Still love me?”

“What?!” you half laughed, which you immediately regretted. “What is this nonsense? Why would I not love you, Hoon.”

His hands on the sink shook a bit and he closed his fingers around the edge to stop the jittering. “Why have you been– have been avoiding me all week?” 

“I haven’t been avoiding you,” you instantly denied. “We’ve been doing everything we normally do–”

“No–” he cut himself off, clearing something in his throat and for a split second it almost sounded like he was choking down a sob. “We haven’t had a meal with just each other once. I don’t think we’ve had a conversation for this long since Sunday and do you remember that coffee date we were supposed to go on yesterday?”

Your heart dropped and the tears came almost instantaneously.

How could you have forgotten that? 

“That’s what I thought,” Sunghoon laughed, sounding watery as he finally pushed himself away from the sink to face you. Your stomach was made of wet sand and you couldn’t bear to look at him. “And you skipped it–” he was blinking harshly now, one of his index fingers pointing at you. “To watch a movie with Jay.”

You were crying now, tears making little streams down your face and you reached for your boyfriend. He pushed your hands away quickly.

“Hoon at least let me apologize!”

“No! You don’t even deserve to be the one crying right now!” He was shouting now and the loud sounds made you shrink back from him. He didn’t even acknowledge it. “I’m the one that deserves to be upset! The guy that has a crush on my girlfriend convinced her that she was neglecting everyone else when she was just neglecting me!”

You shouldn’t have listened to Jay. He had lied to you.

“Sunghoon I didn’t know, please–” You tried to take hold of his face again but he caught your hands, refusing your touch again. “Jay doesn’t like me! And even if he did, I love you. Not him–”

“It doesn’t matter!” Your wrists shook with his movements. “It’s too late. I was stupid to think that I would get to have you to myself when you act like that all the time.”

“Act like what?” you spat at him. Your faces were inches apart now and you could see that a few trails of water had slipped from Sunghoon’s own beautiful eyes too. The urge to wipe them away and kiss his face almost overpowered your growing exasperation. 

“Like you’re their girlfriend too! Like you would choose them over me!–”

“Sunghoon stop it!” 

You tugged your hands away from him, fed up with how he wasn’t actually listening to what you had to say. An uncomfortable silence found its way into the bathroom like a ghost. Only then did you realize how quiet the rest of the dorm was too. Which meant that everyone had probably heard you and Sunghoon fighting. Great.

He huffed, irritation clear even in the small action.

“Have some respect.”

His shoulder hit yours as he pushed past you to the bathroom exit, swinging the door open without a second glance back. You could only listen as his footsteps made their way down the hallway and a door slammed loudly after they’d slowed to a stop. 

You needed to get out.

In a much quieter fashion than Sunghoon, you slipped out of the bathroom and made a beeline for the exit. And to your confirmation, Heeseung, Jay, and Jake were sitting in the living room, not muttering a single word as you stormed past the room to the door. You didn’t even feel their eyes on you as you tossed on a random pair of slippers and tugged on a coat that probably wasn’t even yours. 

“YN-ah, wait!–” one of them finally called, although you weren’t sure which one it was since you were outside in the cold before they could say anything else.

Something inside of you must’ve disconnected as you walked down the driveway and along the street, not sure where you were going, but it felt so good to be by yourself for once that you didn’t really care. But as you left the neighborhood and entered the portion of Seoul that was maybe a few miles away from the dorm, you were back to thinking.

And the question that stood out among the rest was: why was your best never enough? Why didn’t people understand that you were trying?

Then the sobbing started. Your hands gingerly found their way to your elbows as you hugged yourself to try and find some comfort in the cold weather. Part of your brain tried to alert you that you were an idol out in public with no bodyguards, crying and out after 9 p.m. on a Saturday, but your heart and eyes didn’t listen. Your steps had decreased in speed and you were now shuffling along the sidewalk.

Exhaustion wasn’t far behind you. The strength of which you’d been pouring your feelings out had taken a toll on you, and as you hiccuped for the final time, a headache settled in. And after that, reality followed. 

Everyone was probably worried about where you had run off to. Considering you didn’t have a phone, they had no way of reaching you until you decided you wanted to go back to the dorm. Which, honestly, you didn’t have a problem with. While being comforted was always welcome and a majority of the time necessary to truly calm you down, you realized that this moment to yourself was another thing that’d been missing from your life for weeks. Your brain finally had a moment of silence for itself, and as the late January wind blew across your maskless face, the coolness was refreshing. 

Alone time had always been important for you. For your social battery to recover, for you to feel like yourself, and for you to not lose your wits. But in this lifestyle you’d chosen, it was rare for you to be left by yourself. Your members often understood that you needed a second to breathe to function properly, but for the past week, you’d been so busy trying to give your attention back to them that you’d been ignoring your own needs.

If only you’d recognized that, maybe you wouldn’t have forgotten about your date with Sunghoon. Or you could’ve realized how everyone else was feeling. 

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw a metal bench, devoid of any people. Your feet were tired as you brought yourself over to the seat and plopped down, muscles relaxing instantly at the chance for rest. The fresh air was doing wonders for you too. Focus was seeping back into your head and with each inhale and exhale, your headache began to dissipate. Gently, you closed your eyes, not even bothering to worry about if anyone saw you. A freshly debuted idol who already had a decent amount of fame, with dried tears on her cheeks sitting in the middle of a random strip of stores.

Naturally, after you’d taken yet another moment to cool off and regather your emotions, the first thing you thought about was Sunghoon. 

Making up with him was the first thing you needed to do when you got back. Apologize for the mistake you’d made and hope that he would forgive you before you both went to bed angry at each other, which was something your mother had warned you to never do in a relationship. You knew that he was an understanding person who was truly sensitive deep down. Especially when it came to people he loved. Sunghoon’s first impulse was to protect. And that applied to both those he cared about and himself. 

His lashing out at you was just one of his ingrained reactions to defend himself from hurt. And you hated that you had made him feel that way. You’d hurt him. 

You also knew that you both were very mature people. After all, you had to be considering the industry you were in. Talking to him was often all he asked for. He didn’t need gifts or ornate gestures as an apology, just a way to speak about things so you both could understand what had happened and how to properly deal with it in the future. 

This pondering had strangely made you feel a bit better. A small lightness in your chest made you feel hopeful that this would all be nothing but a story to laugh at within the next few days. Or probably weeks. This first fight was something you needed to be careful with until both you and Sunghoon had wholly moved on from it.

You had no idea how long you’d been gone, but you didn’t want to head back anytime soon. Nervousness or anxiety about seeing your boyfriend again wasn’t what kept you perched on the chilly iron of the bench. Rather, the opportunity for you to reconnect with yourself and be at peace– 

“YN!”

That would’ve never lasted that long considering how you might as well have just run away.

“YN,” Jay repeated as the sound of his voice got closer. He sounded out of breath. Slowly, you opened your eyes back up. 

Puffs of air left his mouth in clouds of steam, thanks to the below-freezing weather, and he had to take a moment to presumably calm his racing heart before he was in your personal space. His arms gripped you tightly, fingers digging into the skin of your waist as he buried his face in your neck. The angle was awkward, considering how he was bent over strangely to embrace your sitting figure, but he ignored the slight stiffness that came with it to hold you. To relieve himself that you were there and you were okay.

The best you could do with your arms pinned to your sides was clumsily pat his right hip. 

When he pulled away, hands shifting to grip your biceps almost painfully, the worry in his deep brown eyes had become something more displeased. You were already predicting what scolding would leave him.

“What were you thinking?!” You simply blinked at him, vision flicking around his face, taking in his pink cheeks and slightly runny nose and irises filled with intenseness. Your lack of response only spurred him on further, “Leaving without saying where you were going, without any of us for protection, without saying if you’re okay–”

“I’m fine.”

“God, you have everyone worried sick! Jungwon-ie had to call Sejin-hyung and now, everyone’s out looking for you… You have to be more careful, you could’ve gotten mobbed or– or kidnapped or even killed!–”

“You sound like my father,” you pouted. He huffed out what must’ve been a fake laugh as he turned his head to the side for a split second before taking the spot next to you on the bench. “And I don’t think anyone is trying to kill me.”

Jay looked back at your face, “I want to kill you right now.” He pulled you into his side, tugging your head to the space between his neck and shoulder. “Don’t do that again or we’re gonna have to lock you up or something.”

His bad joke drew a small giggle out of you. You felt his tautness lessen at the sensation. 

“I’m serious, YN,” he said and his tone reflected his words almost a little too perfectly. “We heard you fight with Sunghoon and you were clearly upset–”

“I’m fine,” you repeated, fighting against his hold as you tilted your head back to look at his face. “I just couldn’t stay in that house.”

He frowned. “You could’ve talked to us though,” he said, and the hurt he spoke with made your heart clench for the millionth time that night with contrition. “You can trust us with anything. The last thing I want you to do is feel uncomfortable around me.”

You decided to ignore the change of subjects. 

“I don’t want to sound selfish, but I really couldn’t.” You sighed, weight releasing from your shoulders as you cuddled back into Jay’s side. His chin rested on your hair. “Not when you guys were what we fought about.”

A beat of silence. You were really getting tired of that.

“Sunghoon-ie’s a wreck,” Jay finally said.

You didn’t know what to say, “I am too.” At some point, your breathing pace had synced with his and you enjoyed the sensation of being so connected to someone. “I hate fighting with him more than anything, it's just– I don’t know, it just feels so wrong… Does that make sense?”

Jay nodded against the top of your head. 

“I know the feeling.”

You hesitated before continuing, “Hoon said something…” You trailed off and Jay repositioned himself again, leaning the two of you further back on the bench. “Never mind.”

“What?” he pushed. 

“He said something about you liking me.” And with that, the pressure of agitation grew in the body against you once more. Cautiously, you drew yourself away from Jay. He didn’t fight you.

Jay’s face was stoic and you struggled to read whatever emotion he was experiencing. “When I told you you didn’t have anything to worry about, I meant it,” he said plainly. Your nose wrinkled and your eyebrows drew together. 

“What?–” But Jay was pulling out his phone, dialing what you assumed to be your manager and therefore, a car to take you both back to the dorm. You didn’t stop him, tired of the night you’d had and the wide range of emotions you’d been put through. 

In mere seconds a black SUV pulled up in the street beside you. Jay got up first, offering you a hand and you took it, him helping you off the seat and over to the vehicle. He opened the door for you, and you muttered a small “Thanks” as you clambered inside.

The cushioned seat was welcome after sitting on the hard material of the bench for so long, but the way that no one said anything in the short ride back to the house wasn’t. That alone time and silence that you’d longed for earlier was now making you twitch with discomfort. Where was the Jay that joked with you? The one that made you feel so much like yourself? In the pale moonlight that shined in through the car windows, he looked princely despite the dark circles under his eyes and ruffled hair. He didn’t move his eyes from watching the scenery pass by outside and you concluded that he was in deep thought about something.

As the car pulled into the driveway, your manager in the front seat gave you one final warning about leaving the house unsupervised and left the conversation with a good night. You said nothing. Opening the car door with more strength than you probably should’ve you hoped out and slammed it behind you, not waiting for Jay as you stomped up to the front door. You weren’t sure when your anger had returned, but you took it out on the keypad of the dorm, Jay coming to watch you mess up the code twice due to your annoyance which only shortened your self-restraint. After the second time, he reached around you to enter the four numbers and opened the entry for you. 

Six other bodies rushed to you when you walked past the threshold and your hands shot up to try and block your body from the impending embrace. The last thing you wanted at that moment was to be touched by more than one pair of hands. Thankfully, Jay came to your rescue for one last time that night.

“Give her some space,” he said, shooing Jungwon away from your left side. “Let her go see Sunghoon-ie.” The whisper was meant for just Heeseung, who’d been the one standing closest to the hallway that contained all of the bedrooms. 

The eldest nodded. “He’s in your room,” Heeseung said.

“Thank you,” you offered delicately. “Good night.”

“Night.” He shuffled to the side and you walked past them without a second thought, the only thing on your mind being your boyfriend.

The sharpness of their gaze on your back prickled your nerves as you reached for the doorknob. Composure was something that lacked as you creaked the door open just enough for you to slip through, shutting it behind you swiftly. 

Sunghoon was curled up on your bed, facing the wall and with the way his shoulders were heaving, you could tell he was crying. He looked like a small child. It made your heart ache. 

You toed out of your shoes, having forgotten to take them off at the front door and softly, you tip-toed over to the bed. 

“Hi, Hoon,” you said as gently as possible, sliding your right hand over his arm as you used the other to set yourself down on the small space left on the mattress. 

His head snapped to look at you and to your confirmation, his eyes were red, tears still brimming on his waterline. 

“YN-ie…” Your other hand found the side of his head as he pushed himself up into a sitting position. His bottom lip quivered, “I’m sorry.” And then it was his turn to sob as he pushed his head against your stomach. Sunghoon echoed the words again. Then again. Then again, like a mantra. All you could do was curl over him, pressing your lips against the back of his neck and whisper reassurances against his skin. 

“Breathe, Hoon,” you said, trying to get him to settle down. “Breathe with me. Please.” And then you were breathing in slowly, counting to four, and then exhaling in the same way. On your fourth deep breath, your palm on his back rose in time with your own lungs. Eventually, his whimpers stopped.

Your crewneck was wet now, but you didn’t care. Having him here with you, in your arms again as you comforted him was the only thing you could concentrate on. 

“I thought you weren’t gonna come back,” Sunghoon finally said. 

You cooed a bit at his words, “Nothing would stop me from coming back to you.”

His eyes peeked up at you from his place on your lap. And then in a blink, his forehead was against yours, his hands pulling you closer to his upright body, chest against chest. Sunghoon opened his mouth, getting ready to apologize. You kissed him before he could.

You were desperate as you both continued to pull each other as close as physically possible, tongues intertwining as a way of saying: “I’m here”. As much as you wanted to keep kissing him, there was no way you two could make up correctly if you did so. You pulled away to look at his puffy face, eyes and all. Your thumbs stroked the area under his lashes, wiping off the tears.

“Don’t you dare apologize.”

“I want to, though,” he said quickly. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you or– or said any of those words because I didn’t mean them and they didn’t help anything–”

“I forgive you,” you interjected. “I’m at fault too. I’m sorry that I didn’t notice how you were feeling, and I’m sorry that I forgot our date.” You both exchanged a weak laugh. “I didn’t mean to ignore you and I promise and I swear and I vow, cross my heart, all of it… That I won’t do it again.”

“I highly doubt that,” Sunghoon protested, but he was smiling softly. You adopted the same expression. “But I know that you’re going to do everything in your power to try and not to.”

You nodded furiously, “You’re going to get sick of me asking if you’ve gotten enough attention.”

He chuckled, “I’m sorry if I’ve been keeping you from spending time with the others. And I’m sorry that I made you feel bad about it.”

“We’re both trying to figure out relationships,” you said. “And how to balance them with our friendships… But we’re gonna work it out together.” Sunghoon stared at you intently, his whole attention on you as you spoke. “We aren’t done talking about this, but I am not mad at you.”

He cut you off, “I love you.” That last piece of concern in your emotions eased.

“I love you.”

The next morning you and Sunghoon had spent quite a bit of time talking everything through. Him sharing his worries about his possessiveness and how to get better with it and you sharing how his words did hurt you, but understanding his point of view and how you weren’t completely innocent in the situation. By the time the group was ready to leave for Enhypen’s schedules for the day, you and Sunghoon had successfully made up from your first fight, and the rest of the members (apart from Jay) had given you a small scolding on how much you’d scared them the previous night.

The rest of the day was easy. Finally, you’d regained your attentiveness to the group’s preparation for both the last of the award show performances as well as already the next upcoming mini album. You’d felt like yourself again as you laughed with Sangmi and Riki during your dance practices and gladly took the spot next to Sunghoon during the meeting you’d had that day to discuss future content. It was the recurring theme for the week, you finding yourself again, but it was welcome. Strangely enough, you hadn’t even realized that you’d become the persona of “Just Sunghoon’s Girlfriend”. Fitting that side of you while maintaining all of your own hobbies and relationships was something you could now feel yourself getting better at. And it only made you more and more joyful. 

Sunghoon was happier as well. It was easy to tell with how he was reaching for time with the others now, and with his growing ability to share his troubles with you. Despite the changes in your relationship with him, for the better, many of your old habits stayed. You both still went on multiple dates a week (at least one of them being at a café), spent the nights together, slept on each other during car rides… the list went on. So it wasn’t abnormal for the members to find you both curled around each other on the couch when your list of to-dos for the day had been completed.

You were relaxed into Sunghoon’s side, legs thrown over his lap and talking his ear off about some cartoon you used to watch when you were little that he’d never heard of when Jay came into the living room. 

“YN-ie,” he said, interrupting your chattering and causing both you and your boyfriend to look over in his direction. Jay was standing next to the front door, parka on and a black beanie hiding the majority of his still bleach-blond hair. “D’you still wanna learn how to cook?”

You nudged Sunghoon’s head with your own and peered over at him. He was still smiling, not a hint of discomfort on his face as he bumped your head back. 

“Go,” he whispered to you. “I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“Jay-hyung, you're doing me a favor,” Sunghoon suddenly spoke up. “Maybe by the time you’re back she’ll be tired of talking about Gravity Falls.”

You gasped and smacked Sunghoon’s chest lightly, “I’d never get tired of talking about Gravity Falls.” 

He grabbed the hand that had just hit him and stuck his tongue out at you. You used your free hand to try and swat at his face but he just barely dodged you, swiftly taking hold of your right hand too. Sunghoon puckered his lips at you, “Kiss.”

“No please?”

“Please?–”

“Oh my god, get a room,” Jay said from his spot by the entryway. At his words, you leaned over and gave Sunghoon a quick peck before you were clambering off his lap, Sunghoon yelling out in faux pain as you did so. 

“Is the car already here?” you asked as you approached Jay, him already holding a coat open for you to put on. 

You turned so your back was facing him, and he helped you pull on the outerwear. “Yeah, so say your goodbyes.”

“Does this cooking involve me never seeing anyone again?” you joked, tugging your hair free from the space between the coat and your neck. Both of the boys laughed. 

“Depends on how long it takes us to get these groceries,” Jay responded, opening the door for you as you pulled on your shoes. 

You sighed, “Okay, okay. Bye, Hoon! Love you!”

The phrase was repeated back to you as you and Jay exited the dorms. The ride to the store market Jay had picked out was shorter than you thought it’d be and before the two of you could get too deep into your conversation, he was already helping you out of the car and starting along the vendors, bodyguard following closely behind the two of you. 

“What are we making?” you questioned after passing by a vendor that was making Odeng for a couple that was wearing matching jackets. The sight made you wonder if that’s what you and Jay looked like–a couple.

He interrupted your thoughts, “Atlang.” You furrowed your eyebrows as your mouth dropped open a bit.

“Fish egg soup?”

“Don’t give me that look,” he said, barely moving his eyes to look at you. “You’re acting like you don’t breathe and sleep sushi.”

He had a point there.

“So I’m guessing we’re here for the fish eggs,” you continued.

“The myeongnan–” you rolled your eyes a little at his fancy terms, “and the gochujang paste. We have the vegetables and spices at home–”

“On your left!”

You were in Jay’s arms before you could process something whirring past you in a blur. His jacket was plush and cold between your fingers as you gripped onto him tightly and you were grateful that you hadn’t tripped over your own feet and taken you both down to the cement. A dryness caught in your throat when you recognized how close Jay’s face was to yours. Your brain felt empty as you stared at his warm brown eyes that seemed strong and ever-growing–his attention focused on the scooter that had almost just run you over. 

That sudden adrenaline that always came after a close call never appeared in your veins, though. Because the only thing you could sense as you pulled him closer, hanging on tight and taking in the woody perfume that he’d been using lately, was calmness. Centered. Security. Surprise, at the fact that you were feeling these things. 

“Idiot. Who rides a scooter in the middle of a marketplace?– God…” And then he was looking at you and that calmness was replaced with a rush of dopamine and the adrenaline you’d been waiting for. “Are you okay?”

Your tongue barely darted out to wet your lips as you stared at his own. 

“Mhm,” you softly hummed and you were back on your feet before you could finish the sentence and process what was happening. 

“Good, let’s go.”

What? At his change in attitude, you felt out of breath. Nonetheless, you followed him. 

The rest of the shopping trip flew by. As the two (three, bodyguard– duh) of you strolled along the stands and vendors, searching for what you needed, you couldn’t help but get distracted by some of the items. A necklace that you didn’t have the money with you to buy, a scarf that you would’ve loved to give your sister for Christmas, and some delicious-looking tteokbokki that Jay wouldn't let you get.

“You’ll ruin your dinner!”

“Please! I’m starving.”

“That’ll make this meal that much better!” 

Begrudgingly, you’d given up on the street food and thankfully, not much longer after that, you’d found the last thing you were looking for. With the staff that’d come with you holding the bags, you whispered to Jay about how your feet hurt.

He squatted down almost instantly. Grinning widely, you’d climbed onto his back, wrapping your arms around his neck. But then his hands curled around the backs of your thighs and it was all you could think about. For the walk back to the car, his fingers digging into your skin and making you feel warm. In an attempt to hide your heated face, you hid it in his neck and somehow, Jay didn’t complain about how your breath tickled his skin. 

Your mouth was so close to him. You wondered if he tasted as good as he smelled. If he would like it if you kissed that birthmark that was just under his jaw. That mark was so adorable–

Once again, your feet were being placed back on the pavement without you noticing it. Your hands moved slowly away from Jay’s neck, down his back a bit and then they were retracted immediately after you processed how inappropriate it was for you to be touching him like that. Especially when you had a boyfriend. Jay didn’t seem like he cared though, and if he did, he didn’t say anything. 

He still opened the car door for you, helped you in, and made you laugh on the car ride back. Easing the thoughts you had of whether he saw how you’d been acting or not. It was almost happening unconsciously, the thoughts and longings that you usually only had with Sunghoon. And the guilt you felt about it was heavy, considering how Sunghoon had shown how bothered he was about you acting like a girlfriend to the other members. To your shared friends. 

Everyone had apparently headed off to their respective rooms by the time you and Jay re-entered the dorms. Night had barely fallen so you figured that they were all taking a moment for themselves before you and Jay called them out for dinner. After removing your outerwear, Jay and you headed into the kitchen, him carrying the groceries as you slid along the tile in your fuzzy socks.

“Haul time!” you cheered, jumping around the edge of the island so you were on the side that was with the stove. 

Jay chuckled, “First…” he took something out of the bag. “The gochujang paste!” You let out a small ‘yay’ as you took the container out of his hands, placing it on the counter. “And lastly…” he revealed the package of myeongnan!”

“Whoo!”

“‘Whoo’ is absolutely right,” he said as he joined you on your side of the room, opening the fridge to store the marinated pollack roe. “Everyone should be grateful that we’re making them such a high-quality meal tonight.”

“Maybe I’ll just watch you make it.”

Jokingly, you moved away from him, hands gliding behind you on the cool surface of the island. As expected, Jay’s fingers circled your wrists before you could get too far and you were being pulled back to him.

“Nice try,” he laughed and you frowned. “You’re a big girl and you can help me make dinner.”

Well, you weren’t going to argue with that. Especially when his voice sounded a bit deeper than it usually did. 

Nervously, you separated your touch from his to tuck some of your hair behind your ear. “Fair enough. What do we start with?”

“Washing your hands,” Jay said, tilting his head back towards the sink as he moved to rummage through the cupboards for the utensils you’d be needing. 

You nodded, “Makes sense.” 

The hot water was borderline scalding on your hands, but at that point, you were willing to try anything to remove the electricity that Jay left behind on your skin.

Cooking when you were doing it right, and with someone who you enjoyed spending time with, was surprisingly easy. You had thought that it would require more precision, exact measurements and stirs and timeframes, but Jay made everything look so natural. He told you that almost everything could be done with your instincts and a little bit of guidance from the recipe and he was absolutely right. It was effortless to relax after you gained a bit more confidence in your movements and the jokes and conversation flowed as a harmony with the quiet background music Jay had turned on at some point.

Everything was done cooking sooner than you’d thought it’d be and you were almost disappointed that your time alone with the older male was almost up for the night. Trying not to dwell on the collapse of contentedness, you continued slowly chopping up the last of the vegetables that would go with the altang. 

“Ah,” Jay said from behind you and you looked over your shoulder to see him approaching you. “That was the other thing I wanted to fix.”

“What part of me are you trying to fix?” You laughed.

He smiled as he shifted so he was standing directly behind you, “Your cutting skills.”

The hardness of his chest pressed against your back and your nerves seized and you dropped the knife onto the cutting board at the sudden closeness. Frozen was the only way to describe your movements as Jay silently reached his arm across your body, one hand delicately taking hold of your right hand to turn it over while the other retrieved the knife. Only his soft breathing was against your ears as he placed the handle back into your grasp, his fingers arranging your own to hold the blade in a certain way. 

The rise and fall of your lungs slowed. You felt dizzy, like his nose brushing against the shell of your ear as he peered over your smaller frame was putting some kind of spell on you. Focusing on the task at hand felt impossible as he somehow got even closer, arms practically wrapped around you while he adjusted your other hand. His fingers looked so large compared to your own and the sight of him effortlessly bending your knuckles so you wouldn’t cut your fingertips off only intensified that dizziness.

Maybe this was too inappropriate for a girl who already had a boyfriend but at that moment you couldn’t find it in yourself to care. Your love for Sunghoon was so strong and you thought that there was no possible way it could’ve been matched, but there was something else growing in your heart that made those conclusions falter. 

Jay had always been there for you, had always been the one to take care of you, and was the one noticing the things that no one else did. You’d always appreciated him, been grateful for the way he treated you like a princess, but you couldn’t help but recall recent times when he’d been a bit too assertive over others when it came to you. Him calling off the other boys when you ran out of water during practice, saying you would share with him. Him sending a glare to anyone who’d enter the beauty room while you were getting ready with him being the one keeping you company. Him indirectly trying to get you to spend less time with Sunghoon and more with the other members. Including Jay himself. Little things, but now, in this intimate position you couldn’t help but think they had a different meaning. 

Overwhelmed, you set the knife down, Jay loosening his grip on you to let you do so safely. 

“Jay…” Your whisper could barely be heard over the hushed music, but he still hummed after you said his name. Hip brushing against his, you carefully turned around. Jay’s hands didn’t move from around you, his hands resting on the edge of the counter. You were caged in against him. 

His eyes were so pretty. You couldn’t read the look in them, your brain too cloudy and his intense stare almost made it impossible to maintain eye contact. But you might as well have been hypnotized. The brown of irises was so warm that you could only think of chocolate and how badly you wanted to drown in them.

You weren’t sure who kissed who first. 

Jay could’ve leaned down or you could’ve risen on your toes but it didn’t matter because his lips were finally moving against your own. 

It didn’t take long for his mouth to crash against yours and you think you might’ve whimpered as his tongue found its way between your lips. Subconsciously, her hands roamed under the hem of his shirt, discovering the firm muscles of his lower back as his tongue explored your mouth. It was a kiss that was meant for lovers behind locked doors, not in a dimly lit kitchen where anyone could walk in. Jay deepened the kiss even more, which you didn’t think was possible, and only then did you realize what you were doing. 

Your hands that had been lovingly holding him to you were abruptly pulling him away from you, knowing that now he should be as far away from you as possible. Jay stumbled back at the tugging against his white t-shirt, hitting the edge of the stove and causing the pans placed on the border to clatter back towards the middle. 

“Sorry! I’m sorry!” you gasped, hand shooting up to your mouth. 

Jay shook his head, “No, it’s okay. I’m okay. Are you alright–”

Now your own head was moving side to side hard enough to cause a dull pain behind your skull. A tear fell despite you not even realizing that they had begun to well up. 

The guilt that was creeping up inside of you made you feel physically ill, unlike anything you’d ever experienced before. You felt horrible, you were horrible. You were a horrible girlfriend. God, how could you keep making mistakes like this when Sunghoon…

“Sunghoon…” you sobbed, hand against your mouth shaking as you processed what you’d just done. Jay was instantly back at your side. 

Softly, he took your hand in his and moved it away from your face, holding it in his. “Shh– shh… I’m sorry, I’m sorry. We can talk to him and explain–”

“Explain what?” you cried in a manner that was perhaps a bit too loud. “That I– I– cheated on him?” You couldn’t get enough air in your chest. You were going to puke. There was a steady thumping under your palm. 

Jay lifted your hand to his chest, letting it rest on his heart and feel the slower pace at which he was breathing. “You need to breathe, YN, you’re having a panic attack.” 

Closing your eyes, you let a trembling breath escape your lips. And as Jay’s chest rose, you took a deep breath and exhaled as he did so. Repeating the process was easy, but opening your eyes to Jay’s saddened face made your heartbreak and guilt build up all over again.

“I–”

“You guys okay? Thought I heard something break,” Heeseung said from the doorway. Neither of you said anything, Jay just kept looking at you as you turned your vision to the floor. 

Clenching your fist tightly, you let the pain of your fingernails digging into your skin distract you from the pain in your heart and you cleared your throat. “Yeah, we’re fine. Dinner’s ready.”

You pushed away from Jay, wiping the water from your cheeks. Keeping your head down, you brushed past Heeseung, beelining for the bathroom you used most often since you figured that was the only place where no one would question why you were crying. You burst into the room quickly, shutting the door behind you as quietly as possible.

And for the next hour, you laid on the bathroom floor, the coolness of the tile on your face keeping you present. Keeping you thinking about how you hated yourself for kissing Jay. Hated yourself for liking it and loving him.

All of the progress you’d made in your relationship with Sunghoon had been ruined in under five minutes. All of the self-love that was beginning to return to you had been ripped away the moment you’d decided to kiss Jay back. And if the avoiding you’d done with Sunghoon before you both got together was bad, the way you were avoiding Jay was borderline criminal. You’d thrown yourself fully into your relationship with Sunghoon, making up your mind about how if you gave him more love it would cancel out the tiny mistake you’d made. The huge mistake you’d made. 

It had only been two days, but the time that’d passed felt like an eternity. There was no way you’d be able to keep your actions with Jay a secret for much longer. You told Sunghoon everything. He was your best friend, your person, and you rarely kept things from him. Usually when you messed up, you and he would be able to open up and share how you were feeling and how to make it better. But you knew that if he ever found out about this, he would never forgive you. It was wrong to keep something like this from him, but you didn’t want to lose him. 

But you didn’t want to lose Jay in the process either. 

And that was exactly what was happening. You liked to think that you took your time to process things and think your options through when really, you would put decisions off to avoid the consequences of them. Ignoring Jay almost every time he tried to speak with you and never allowing yourself to be alone in a room with him was hurting him. You could tell that much. With the way the shine that was in his eyes when he would see you would dim when you would pretend like you didn’t hear him. The way you’d stop coming to him for help with things. You knew you were making him feel unneeded and unwanted, but you couldn’t dare pick between the two boys.

Because you were in love with both of them.

The thought still didn’t seem morally correct to you, you weren’t sure if it would ever feel socially acceptable either, but it was true. Your coming to terms with your feelings for Jay were much different than your experience with the ones for Sunghoon. You weren’t able to embrace them fully in fear that both boys would leave you if you played your cards wrong or said something that would set them both off. And it didn’t help that they both had possessive tendencies. 

So you turned to Sangmi, one of the only people you could trust with this information. 

“You like both of them?” she’d asked, removing the sheet mask that you’d both been doing in the soft lighting of your guys’ room. 

You nodded, “Love. I think I love both of them.”

She pursed her lips and puffed her cheeks out, focused on folding her mask. After a moment, she’d thrown it into the trash can, almost missing so the skincare hung over one of the sides of the gray plastic. 

“I don’t know what to tell you, babe. I can’t say I’ve ever been in that position–”

“Just tell me what you would do.”

“But I can’t,” she had sighed. “Because we’re each our own person. Just because I would do something one way doesn’t mean you should do it as well.”

You whined and slumped over onto her lap. In a comforting manner, she threaded her fingers through your hair, scratching her nails lightly over your scalp. “I’m stuck! I don’t think I would be able to live without either of them…”

“First of all, you definitely would–” Your groan of annoyance cut her off and she giggled. “Second of all, from what you’ve told me, they love you too.” Her voice had gotten quiet. You straightened your spine back to an upright position and locked eyes with your best friend. 

“You think so?”

Sangmi had hummed in agreement, “Talk with them. If they love you as much as you love them, then they would be willing to do anything to be with you. To make you happy.”

“Even sharing,” you sighed as you flipped around and rested back down on her folded legs. “That’s so much to ask of a man, though. One can’t even stay loyal to one girl most of the time.” Your hands flopped to your side. “How am I supposed to ask for so much from them? One girl and two guys? No way that could ever last.”

“Not with that mindset,” Sangmi laughed. Her face grew pensive and while you waited for her to continue, you stared at the white ceiling. “I think that you’ve always made love out to be trickier than it actually is–”

“But sometimes–”

“Sometimes there are exceptions, and this whole kiss thing with Jay-oppa might be one of them, but YN-ie–let yourself go for once.”

You looked down at your hands, folded over your chest, rising and falling as you breathed. 

“I just feel like every time I do that I mess up.”

“You’re human. Humans mess up all the time but you’re never going to get anywhere if you don’t take a risk.”

You bit your lip, “Maybe you’re right.”

Sangmi shrugged, “I tend to be.”

“Or maybe you’re just feeding my delusions– Hey!” You squealed as she threw one of her pillows at your face. 

“I’m never giving you advice again,” she said, sounding like a stressed mother. You giggled. 

And now, swallowing your pride, your feet padded against the smooth tile of the living room as you approached Sunghoon after claiming that you were going to use the bathroom. When really, you’d spent a good four minutes in the space mentally preparing yourself for this difficult conversation. 

“Hey,” you said, a smile on your face as you found your spot right next to him on the couch again. 

Sunghoon turned off his phone, watching you approach him with his own dazed expression. “Hi. How was the bathroom?”

“As awesome as ever.” You sounded nervous. Nervous was an understatement. You were pretty sure you were shaking. “Um… I actually needed to talk to you about something that’s been– um, bothering me for a couple of days.”

Sunghoon’s eyebrows knitted together and he nodded slowly, “Yeah, what is it?”

“So…” you started, shifting onto your knees so you were closer to eye-level with him. “I’m not really sure how to say this but um… the other night, when Jay-oppa and I were cooking we… um…”

Sunghoon tilted his head to the side, narrowing his eyes a bit at you. “You what?”

“We kissed,” Jay said from the doorway, entering the conversation just like he did the night Sunghoon and you were speaking of. 

Afraid, you glanced back at Jay, who looked angry, then at Sunghoon, whose face was blank. Your heart dropped. Their reactions were exactly the opposite of what you’d been hoping for. But they were exactly what you’d been expecting. 

You waited for one of them to yell at you. To call you a horrible name and say you were disgusting. For Sunghoon to break up with you, for Jay to say he regretted ever kissing you, but neither of them said anything. And that only scared you more, but you had no idea what to say.

Finally, Sunghoon clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth, and his eyes zoned in on Jay. Then he was standing up and your vision followed him, uncertain of what he was going to do. 

“God, man, what do I have to do to get you to back the fuck off from my girlfriend?” He laughed bitterly and you felt frozen once again, just like you do in every conflicting situation. 

Jay scoffed, eyes shooting back and forth between you and Sunghoon, “She kissed me back. And you know, I think she liked it.” The last part was a whisper and you couldn’t help but let your gaze fall to the floor as both boys let the sight of you looking pitiful on the couch be the center of their attention. 

Embarrassed, you nodded. 

“Well, then what do we do?” Sunghoon said, his anger creeping into his tone. “Because you’re clearly trying to ruin my relationship with her–”

“YN’s not completely innocent in this either!”

“I’m right here!” you yelled, fed up with how neither you nor Jay were refusing to take responsibility for the situation and for how Sunghoon wasn’t accepting that you cheated on him. “And if anything, this whole thing is my fault. Not yours.” You looked at Sunghoon as you also stood up, pushing away from the couch. “Or yours,” you said, eyeing Jay. 

You blinked back tears, trying to remain strong.

“Because– because I’m in love with you both. And I feel disgusting saying it because you both deserve someone that will love you both how you deserve and–” Sunghoon’s arms were around you before you could finish your sentence. The only words you could repeat were “I’m sorry” as Sunghoon soothingly hushed you, hand resting at the back of your neck as he held you close to his chest. 

You felt another pair of hands travel around your sides as Jay wrapped around you both, effectively surrounding you from every free space. Sunghoon’s cheek fell onto your head and Jay’s chin ended up on your left shoulder. Their scents, the warmth of their skin, and the feeling of their heartbeats was enough to ground you again and you found yourself calming down as you weakly encircled Sunghoon’s middle with your arms.

“Okay, I’m okay,” you said, getting a bit overwhelmed with the tightness you were enveloped in. Both of the boys backed away hesitatingly, and you took a spot on the couch again. Sunghoon followed suit quickly as Jay stood next to your side in front of the furniture. 

“Sunghoon-ah, I’m not trying to destroy your relationship with YN-ie,” Jay confessed. “You’re important to her and… and you’re important to me too.” 

With a confirming nod, Sunghoon accepted the elder’s words. 

“I’m in love with her too,” Jay added and his words made your heart practically stop. Your eyes felt a bit too wide to be normal and he stared down at you with a small smile on his lips. “And I want what’s best for her and clearly, that’s you.”

“We shouldn’t have kissed, Hoon,” you joined in, turning to face your boyfriend. His elbows were resting on his knees as he took in what Jay and you had to say. “And I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you, and apologizing for not telling you about it right away, and I’m sorry I didn’t say that I was falling in love with Jay sooner because– I love you so so much.”

“I don’t know what to say,” Sunghoon admitted after you finished speaking. “I don’t think I’m really that mad, actually just more sad that you felt like you couldn’t tell me.”

Reaching for his left hand, you carefully took it into your own. “You mean so much to me, Hoon. I didn’t want to hurt you–”

“It does hurt,” he said and your bottom lip trembled a bit. “You aren’t forgiven yet, but I’m not going to break up with you.”

Hope lit through you, you could practically feel it seeping out of your pores. “Really?”

“I love you,” he said simply. “And I know you love me. But I know that you love Jay too–”

“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable,” you said, squeezing his hand tightly. “I’ll do whatever makes both of you happy.” Glancing back and forth between them, you continued, “If that’s not being with either of you, so be it–”

“Absolutely not,” Jay laughed. “Do you know how hard Hoon here had to work to get you to date him?”

Sunghoon sighed, “That’s not the point.” You stifle a giggle at the irritated look he sent Jay. “Let me finish. It’s going to take a lot of work, for me and Jay-hyung, but I’m okay with… I don’t wanna say sharing, that sounds wrong, but, if being with both of us is what you want…” he cocked his head to the side, eyes swimming with a varied mix of emotions. “Then I’m okay with it.”

“So what… You’re suggesting I date both of you?” you asked, eyebrows furrowing. Peering over your shoulder, you locked eyes with Jay, who also looked like he was in deep thought. “If you want to, Jay-oppa.”

A few seconds passed before Jay answered, “We’ll have to take things super slow. And Sunghoon-ie and I are gonna have to figure out how to get over our jealousy, but yeah. Let’s do it.”

You didn’t even try to hide how overjoyed you were, a grin proudly present on your face as you practically jumped on Sunghoon, peppering kisses all over his face. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I love you so so so so so–”

“Okay– okay! Calm down, princess, I love you too,” he chuckled. You pulled away, gazing sweetly at his eyes before leaning in to kiss him. Nothing deep, just a long peck on the lips before you withdrew from Sunghoon and turned to Jay. 

“C’mere,” you said, reaching for him. He complied, smirking a bit as you tugged his face to yours, giving Jay his own peck on the lips. “I love you.”

Jay gave you a peck on your cheek, “I love you.”

“Okay, that’s enough for now,” Sunghoon said. His hands drew you back to his chest and tucking your head under his chin protectively. 

“I don’t get to join in on the cuddles?”

“No. Just me. Remember you guys need to make it up to me for kissing before we agreed on… whatever this is.” Sunghoon’s hair was silk-like between your fingers as you twisted your arm up so you could play with his locks. 

Laughing, you patted the spot next to you on the couch. “You can sit next to us, Jay. I’ll play with your hair too if you want me to.”

Jay seemed to brighten again. He was leading your hand to his head as he laid down on the cushions, head falling on your lap. Sunghoon complained a bit, but after a few kisses, he finally settled in. 

You knew you all had a lot of work to do, but with both of them laughing and being there with you, that feeling of fullness–of being complete, you’d been searching for for so long returned. Permanently. Happiness would be easier every day as long as you had both of your boys by your side, just like this.

마리셀의 노트 , thanks to miss lana del rey for giving me the motivation to finish this😓 I’ll try to be faster with writing in the future but I am in school so that’s my first priority!🌷🩷 please don’t be afraid to ask me stuff / interact with me! and thank you for all of the support🥰💕💋

[estellan0vella]

Wouldn't Want To Be Anywhere Else ❀Megumi Masterlist HFBU

You’re lying in bed, staring at the ceiling. The room is dim, the only light coming from the digital clock on the nightstand. Megumi lies next to you, his steady breathing the only sound breaking the silence. His presence is comforting, a warm anchor in the cool, quiet night. You turn your head slightly, looking at his relaxed face, his dark hair tousled against the pillow. You feel a surge of affection and a hint of anxiety, the latter always lurking in the background since your diagnosis.

Living with epilepsy is a constant balance of caution and normalcy, and having Megumi by your side has made it easier. He’s calm, reliable, and incredibly understanding. He never makes you feel like a burden, which is something you’ve feared with previous partners. Instead, he treats your condition with a practical matter-of-factness that helps you feel safe.

You remember the first time you told him about your epilepsy. It was early in your relationship, a time when revealing such personal details felt like peeling back layers of vulnerability. You’d been at a small café, the buzz of conversation and the clinking of cups creating a cozy backdrop. Megumi had listened intently, his eyes never leaving yours, and when you were done, he’d simply nodded.

“I understand,” he’d said. “We’ll handle it together.”

And you have. From keeping track of your medication schedule to learning the best ways to support you during and after a seizure, Megumi has become an expert on the intricacies of your condition. He’s attended appointments with you, asked the right questions, and even researched new treatments and support groups. His dedication is unwavering, and it fills you with gratitude and love.

Tonight, though, you’re restless. You shift slightly, trying not to disturb him, but Megumi is a light sleeper. His eyes flutter open, and he turns his head to look at you.

“Hey,” he murmurs, his voice husky with sleep. “You okay?”

“Yeah, just can’t sleep,” you whisper back, trying to keep your voice steady.

He reaches out and gently squeezes your hand. “Want to talk about it?”

You hesitate, then nod. “I’m just… worried, I guess. About the future. About having another seizure.”

Megumi shifts closer, his presence a solid, reassuring weight beside you. “I know it’s hard,” he says softly. “But we’re in this together. You’re not alone.”

You smile, feeling a little better. His words, simple as they are, hold a lot of weight. You turn on your side to face him, taking comfort in his familiar features. His eyes, usually sharp and focused, are soft in the dim light, full of concern and love.

“Thank you,” you whisper, your voice trembling slightly.

He cups your cheek, his thumb brushing gently against your skin. “You don’t have to thank me. I love you, and that means being here for you, no matter what.”

You feel tears prick at the corners of your eyes, but they’re the good kind—tears of relief, of gratitude. You lean in, and he meets you halfway, your lips brushing in a tender kiss. It’s a reminder that you’re not facing this alone, that Megumi is right there with you, every step of the way.

The next day, you’re at the park, enjoying the warmth of the sun on your face. Megumi is next to you, his hand entwined with yours as you stroll along the path. It’s a beautiful day, the kind that makes you forget about your worries, even if just for a little while. You’re both quiet, content to just be in each other’s company.

As you walk, you see a group of children playing nearby, their laughter ringing out across the park. You watch them for a moment, feeling a pang of longing. You’d love to have a family someday, but the thought of raising children with your condition is daunting.

Megumi seems to sense your shift in mood. He gives your hand a gentle squeeze. “What’s on your mind?”

You glance at him, considering how to put your feelings into words. “I was just thinking about the future,” you say slowly. “About having a family. It feels… complicated.”

Megumi nods, his expression thoughtful. “It’s something we’d have to plan for, sure. But I don’t think it’s impossible. We’d just need to be careful and make sure we have the right support in place.”

His words are reassuring, and you find yourself relaxing a little. “You’re right. I guess I just worry about the ‘what ifs’ sometimes.”

“We all do,” Megumi says quietly. “But we can’t let them stop us from living our lives. We’ll figure it out, together.”

You smile, feeling a weight lift off your shoulders. You know that with Megumi by your side, you can face whatever challenges come your way.

Later that evening, you’re at home, preparing dinner together. Megumi is chopping vegetables while you stir a pot on the stove. It’s a simple, domestic scene, but it’s moments like these that you cherish the most. The comfortable routine, the easy conversation, the way you move around each other in perfect sync.

As you set the table, you feel a familiar aura begin to settle over you. It’s a sensation you’ve come to recognize all too well—the onset of a seizure. Your heart starts to race, and you clutch the edge of the table, trying to steady yourself.

“Megumi,” you manage to say, your voice strained.

He’s at your side in an instant, his eyes sharp with concern. “It’s happening?”

You nod, and he gently guides you to the couch, helping you to lie down on your side. He moves quickly and efficiently, making sure the area around you is safe. He’s done this so many times, and his calmness helps to ground you.

“I’m here,” he says softly, holding your hand. “I’m right here.”

The seizure takes hold, and everything becomes a blur. But through it all, you’re aware of Megumi’s presence, his steady voice, and the comforting feel of his hand in yours. It’s over relatively quickly, but it leaves you exhausted and disoriented.

When it’s over, Megumi helps you sit up, his eyes full of concern. “Are you okay?”

You nod weakly, leaning against him for support. “Yeah, I think so. Just tired.”

He wraps his arms around you, holding you close. “Rest for a bit. I’ll finish up dinner.”

You’re too tired to argue, so you let him take care of everything. As you rest on the couch, you watch him move around the kitchen, marveling at how effortlessly he seems to handle everything. His quiet competence and unwavering support make you feel incredibly lucky.

After a while, he brings over a plate of food and sits down next to you. You eat together in companionable silence, the simple act of sharing a meal grounding you after the seizure. Megumi’s presence is a constant reminder that you’re not alone, that you have someone who loves you and will always be there for you.

As you lie in bed that night, you think about the future again. This time, though, it doesn’t seem quite so daunting. With Megumi by your side, you know you can face whatever comes your way. You reach out and take his hand, feeling a sense of peace settle over you.

“Thank you,” you whisper, your voice full of emotion.

He turns to you, his eyes soft and full of love. “For what?”

“For being here. For everything.”

He smiles, squeezing your hand gently. “I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.”

You drift off to sleep, feeling safe and loved. And as you do, you know that no matter what challenges lie ahead, you’ll face them together.

[roadkillremi]

Quote 24 smut with billy pleas🩷🩷

I can do that!!!

24. "I wouldn't imagine breaking your underwear rule." (Billy Loomis says this to Sydney Prescott)

Masterlist 300 Event

Billy Loomis X F!Reader

Summary: after a long day of "busy" work Billy wants some company. Reader and Billy are 18+

Warnings : MINORS DNI, smut, p in V, unprotected, Billy kinda pressures?, He has a knife, language, he uses that knife to carve his initial into you, a bit of praise.

You read a book in your room while your music played. You softly hummed to yourself flipping through your book. A soft knock interrupted you, you looked up and walked towards your window. You moved your curtains over to reveal Billy looking into the window. You softly smiled and opened your window.

"Billy. It's 9pm." You leaned towards him. He smiled, "I know. It's more fun this way.". You moved to the side to let him in. He climbed through and looked around. You had music and movie posters on the walls. He always found it interesting to look at them.

"Let me guess you got done at Sydney's and had to go to your secret affair?" You gave him a look. Billy shook his head, "I didn't come from Sydney's.".

"you just came to a losers house for fun?" You tilted your head.

You weren't part of his friend group, and you had no desire to be part of it. You met Billy through Randy Meeks. You were a frequent customer of Bradley's video store. You had a routine, Friday you get food, get a movie, and pass out. Billy seems to figure out your routine and joined you one night. You were scared you were just another girl. You heard the rumors about Christina, you didn't wanna end up like her. So you told him you wouldn't sleep with him, which made him more eager to see you.

He softly smiled at you, "You're not a loser...". You shrugged, "Just a random girl Billy Loomis is visiting.". He looked down, "You're not... Random.". You sighed, "Billy I was joking-".

"I told you I.. I like being around you.".

"So that's why you ignore me at school? It makes total sense." You argued. You shook your head, "I told you im not some... Some-".

"slut?" Billy asked looking at you with a smirk. He stared at your exorcist poster, "I know you're not.".

"What do you want Billy?" You asked softly. He looked at you and slowly scanned your body.

"You."

"I told you I can't ... You're dating Sydney!" You said putting your hands to your face.

"When did you start caring about Sydney?!" Billy scoffed.

"Last I checked her and Tatum teased you." He added. You looked up at him, "Shut the fuck up.". You stood up, he softly smiled.

"See? Sydney's not like you. She cares too much... About herself... she's a push over too. She's always scared and shit. But you... You don't care. You like the dark stuff... Like me...".

"Then break up with her." You crossed your arms. Billy shook his head, "I told you it's difficult, her mom died.".

"I'm aware." You muttered. Billy stepped closer, "I just need you... It was a rough day okay?!" His voice grew more irritated. He sat on the edge of your bed and stared at the wall ahead of him.

"My dad... He's an asshole... You understand that... You're mom left too..." Billy tried to shove his emotions back. You stepped towards him, "I know... I'm sorry...". He hugged your torso burning his face in your stomach. You ran your fingers through his hair, "I'm sorry I fussed at you. I'm just... Worried.".

"I know." He glanced up at you. You looked over at your TV, "Do you wanna watch the exorcist?".

"We watched that last time...".

"it's my favorite." You whisper. He nods, "sure.". You turn on your TV and set up the Exorcist. Once you sat by Billy on your bed you leaned on his shoulder. He'd slowly start kissing your head, then cheek, then neck. You breath a bit heavier and grab his arm.

"What are you doing?" You asked softly. He looked at you, "I'm kissing you.". He then gently kissed you on the lips. You gave in to him leaning into his touch. His hands slid behind your back and he pushed his body towards you more. He positioned you beneath him as he continued to kiss you. His hand moved towards your pajama pants. His fingers wrapped around the elastic, you backed your face away from his.

"Billy..."

"Don't worry. I wouldn't dream of breaking your no underwear rule." He sounded annoyed.

Your stomach noted, he complained about Sydney being the same way in the past. You took a Shakey breath, "No..". He looked up at you, "I want to tell you I'm ready.". His eyes went wide and then he smirked. He kissed you before sliding off your pajama pants.

"That's my girl." He whispered. You grinned, His girl... You grabbed his face pulling him into a kiss. He grunted lowly, he pulled away to examine your face. You gently smiled at him, he sat up unbuttoning his blue shirt. You leaned up slightly on your elbows to watch him. He stared directly in your eyes as he took off his white t-shirt. Your eyes traveled down his slightly toned body. You sat up and took off your shirt as a response. He smirked laying you back down. He trailed his face down your neck. You felt his nose slightly touch your skin. He kissed your collarbone a couple times before biting it. You gasps your hands clinging to your bed. Billy softly chuckled, his laugh vibrating onto your skin.

"Billy.." you softly whispered, he looked up quickly.

"Yes?"

"I..I'm scared.. n-not scared but nervous..". You looked off to the side. Billy smiled, "It's okay. I'll take... Good care of you.". He leaned back down to kiss your collarbone. His hands slid to your hips, "So beautiful" he muttered. He sat up pulling a pocket knife from his back pocket. He flicked it open cutting the sides of your underwear. He threw the piece of fabric to the side. Your eyes widen at the scene, your heart pounded. He started unbuckling his belt and taking off his jeans.

"Gonna take real good care of you..." He whispered. You watched his knife carefully, he glanced up at you and then looked at the knife. He smiled, "Not scared of this old thing are you?". You shook your head, "No." You gave him a small pathetic smile. He leaned closer to your face, "Are you scared of me?". The blade contacted your thigh, you jumped a bit.

"No.". He smirked, "You really are something else" he softly chuckled. He kissed you before returning to his position. He took his boxers off revealing himself to you. You stared down at him unsure of how to respond.

It sprung up against his stomach and was easily 7ish inches. Your eyes widened and you looked up at Billy.

"Don't worry.." he rubbed the tip in-between your folds. "It'll only hurt for a moment." He smiled. He soon thrust himself in, causing a loud gasp. He quickly covered your mouth with his hand.

"Don't wanna wake up your folks now do you?" He whispered. You shook your head no, he smiled and slowly thrusted. You tried to relax your body giving into the feeling. His hand was still planted in your mouth while his other gripped your hip and held his knife. He looked into your eyes showing no sympathy. He breathed heavily sometimes letting out a grunt.

You hand grabbed his wrist to the hand covering your mouth. He grinned down at you, observing you like a piece of art. He slowly removed his hand from your mouth.

"I.. wanna.. hear you.." he said in between breaths. Your breathing was jagged and your body was tense. Your eyes rolled back as you arched your back. His arms wrapped around you back. He pulled you closer using your position to use you more. Billy groaned watching your face contort.

"so good..." He mumbled watching you. You moaned in response, you reached for his shoulder to grab on for support. A coil twisted in your stomach as you got more intense.

"Let it happen." Billy whispered knowing you were close. Your legs spasmed as you whined. Billy gently laid you back down, "Good girl." He smiled. He took his knife carving a B into your hip. You hissed softly, "What was that?". Billy just smirked and got up putting his clothes back on.

"You're leaving?" You whispered. Billy looked over "We have school tomorrow. But.. I promise I'll break up with Sydney by the end of this week.". You nodded, "okay. Bye Billy..". He leaned down to kiss you, "Bye.".

A week later

"Billy Loomis visited you?"

"Yes.. but I didn't know!"

"Did he mention anything?"

"He.. he mentioned breaking up with Sydney at the end of the week."

"Is that all?"

"He told me not to go to the party... I didn't know why.. well.. I do now."

[theemporium]

im so bad at requesting things so hopefully this actually makes sense lmao, could you please write something about james comforting reader after meeting his friends for the first time bc she thinks she left a bad impression but in reality they loved her? i love your writing btw <3

thank you! and thank you for requesting!🫶🏽

.

There was no doubt in your mind that you loved James Potter.

Despite the relationship only being a few months old, you had never felt this way about any previous partner. James made you feel special, made you feel like you were floating on cloud nine. James was what all the bad dates and shitty relationships were leading up to, and you couldn’t be happier. 

You wanted him to be a part of your life, and you wanted to be a part of his—which meant meeting the important people in his life. 

He wanted to start out with something small and casual. It was just meant to be a casual night at the pub beside his apartment, to just meet his best friends and the group he had kept close with throughout school. It should’ve been no big deal. 

Except, it went worse than you could’ve imagined—or at least, that’s what you assumed. 

They were a close knit group, that fact was undeniable. And it was clear they cared about your boyfriend as much as you did. It warmed your heart to witness the way they laughed and joked and smiled and cheered the whole night, but you couldn’t help but feel a piece of the puzzle that was never really meant to be there. 

James had noticed you had been quiet since you left the pub, giving all his friends a parting hug before you both started to make the walk to his apartment. You looked lost in thought, with that crease between your brows that told him you were deep in your own head. 

“So,” he started, almost startling you out of your daze when he wrapped his arm around your shoulder to tug you into his side. “What did you think?” 

You blinked. “Hm?” 

“My friends,” he said, looking down at you with a dopey smile that hadn’t left his face since the night began. “What did you think of them?” 

“They were great, Jamie,” you smiled softly. “They really love you.” 

His grin widened. “And now they love you too.” 

You must’ve made a face because that was the only explanation as to why James suddenly frowned, stopping on the side of the street and pulling you to top with him. He looked almost concerned. 

“Is everything okay?” 

You looked at him like he was insane, laughing it off. “What? Of course it is!” 

“Baby,” he gave you a pointed look. “Something’s bothering you. Tell me.” 

You opened your mouth but just sighed. “It’s nothing.” 

His frown deepened. “You don’t have to lie to me.”

“James—”

“Princess.” 

Your eyes dropped away from his, focusing on some cracks on the pavement below you. You let out a deep breath before you began speaking. “I don’t know, I guess…I just wanted your friends to like me.”

His concern turned to confusion. “Huh?”

“They mean a lot to you, James, and I can tell they care about you too and I just wanted them to like me too,” you started to ramble, the words flowing out of your mouth and you couldn’t stop them. “And I wanna be with you for a…really long time and I don’t want them to hate me—-”

“Woah, woah, woah,” James interrupted, taking a step closer to you. His fingers gripped your chin, tilting your head up so he could look at you, wide eyes and alcohol flushed cheeks. “Who said anything about hating?” 

“I—” you started before shrugging. 

“Baby, they adore you,” he whispered in a soft voice. “I think they probably like you more than me.”

You rolled your eyes. “That’s not true.”

“Oh, it’s very true,” he murmured with a small smile. “Just ask Pads. He would choose you over me in a heartbeat.” 

You laughed, though it still felt a bit strained.

“Plus,” James continued. “You make me happy. And if you make me happy, they will love you regardless.”

Your eyes still held some doubt. “Yeah?”

“Yeah, baby,” he grinned before his hands moved to hold your face. “I wanna be with you for a really long time too.” 

“Glad we are on the same page then,” you murmured, your lips twitched as he knocked his nose against yours. 

“Yeah, you’re stuck with me for a while, princess,” he said before moving down to connect his lips with yours. “Better get used to this.”

“Pub nights with your friends?”

“I was gonna say making out with you on the street, but that too.”

.

[hwanchaesong]

━⁠☞🍽️ Sixth Course: You've always wished for him the best life could offer. But what if you are the best that the universe could ever offer to him? Be salty enough, you guess? 🥢

🎧: Olivia Rodrigo - Happier

wc: 678

genre & warnings: angst, fluff if u squint, lovers to exes to friends, Yeji from ITZY, etc etc

a/n: this is a part of The Sour Restaurant series. if y'all want, you can read the other album inspired fics of other groups here.

"Look! It's adorable! Do you think Mingi will like this?" the girl squeals, grabbing a lilac sweater and showing it to you.

You examined the fabric, and somehow, it made you remember the exact clothing that Mingi prefers.

Gray. Cotton. Oversized.

Still, Mingi will appreciate the thoughtful gift.

"Yeah, he'll love it. Especially since you bought it." you smile, and the girl jumps excitedly, immediately buying the sweater before clinging to you.

"Thank you so much for accompanying me." Yeji hooks her arm with yours, happily skipping in the mall and you can only give her a weak smile.

"It's no problem, really. I'm glad that I can help you." you mumble, laughing a bit when she whines about how helpful you are.

Lies.

Who on earth would feel any ounce of joy when the current girlfriend is asking the ex-girlfriend to help her with picking a gift.. for the man that was once yours and now her boyfriend.

You suppose that it's normal (self gaslight), since you and Mingi broke up mutually, and you two are in the same circle of friends.

The romantic aspect of your relationship was long gone but the camaraderie remains.

It was a well-thought decision on both sides, for the sake of your friends and family, to be casual with each other with no hard feelings.

It was fine and all, until he got a new girl.

You have to bear the pain of watching him be a better, or best, version of himself simply because he is utterly in love with her.

Her being Yeji.

As much as you wanted to hate her, you can't.

Not only is she pretty, but she's also very mature.

When you first met her and she learned that you and Mingi were exes, the way she handled the information was excellent. You explained to her the situation and the agreement, and she was very understanding.

She embraced you fully, accepting you like a sister. She showed you kindness, basically an angel sent from heaven to grace you with blessings. No jealousy, no hostility, only pure intentions.

You hated the way Mingi smiles at her adoringly, his eyes crinkling with affection with the same valor that was once reserved for you.

You hated it whenever Mingi did things for Yeji that he failed to do during your relationship.

But you hated it the most whenever it was shoved in your face that Mingi had found someone new but you still haven't.

You have been replaced so easily while you continuously find it difficult to love again.

The bottom line of all these though, is the fact that you can't hate Yeji.

She has been nothing but a good friend to you. She supported you when you needed it the most, gave you gifts, and she even tried to make you date when you spilled to her the ever growing insecurity of wanting to be with someone again.

You don't despise it when she handed the gift to Mingi, said man happily accepted it then proceeded to give her a loving kiss.

Loathe is not an emotion you harbor but rather... melancholy.

When Yeji turned to you with a proud smile, you had no choice but to act like everything was okay.

You watch her whisper to Mingi, then he turns to you to give you a thumbs up, to which you roll your eyes at him before doing the same thing.

You did wish for him to lead a life of rainbows and flowers, but you weren't ready to witness it.

You did pray for him to meet someone but not so soon, as it gives you a sense of bitterness that the gods listen to you when you pray for someone, but never to you since you are always facing some sort of a challenge before completely having the things that you wanted.

A sigh escapes your lips as your eyes follow the joyful couple.

Selfish yes, but somehow, you hoped that paradise wouldn't come so effortlessly for them unless a storm comes in first.

taglist:

@acciocriativity @iarayara @stolasisyourparent @xdannix @nsixns @heartssol @vixensss @shakalakaboomboo

[vyutg]

☆ a little hand during date night?

content ⊂⊃ loser!hanbin x female reader, 18+

️️ ️️️️️️️️️ ️️—

the atmosphere of the cozy restaurant felt just right for a night out with hanbin. as you scanned the menu, you couldn’t help but notice the way he looked at you. those warm, deep eyes full of affection. “what?” you glanced up, your brows raising. your nonchalance was a feeble attempt to mask the fluster rising in your cheeks.

hanbin shook his head and offered you a smile. “you look really cute when you’re trying to decide what to eat.” the sincerity in his voice made your heart skip a beat.

you rolled your eyes, trying to play it cool, but a smile tugged at the corner of your lips. “thanks, i guess?” apart from academic endeavors, your loser also never fails to captivate you.

as your dishes arrived, you took the opportunity to lean closer, resting your elbow on the table, and casually brushed your hand against his thigh. hanbin’s eyes widened in surprise, a mix of amusement and anxiety flickering across his face. “do you know how hard it is to concentrate on eating?” you teased, your fingers inching closer to his waistband. “maybe i should help you out.”

hanbin let out a nervous chuckle and darted glances around the busy pub, panic in his eyes as he took in the couple at the next table with their playful banter and the group of friends laughing loudly nearby. “come on, baby, not here,” he replied, his voice low. his face was a delightful shade of pink, and you couldn’t help but fancy the effect you had on him.

“but it’s so tempting,” you continued, playfully biting your lip. “what if i just… i don’t know, gave you a little handjob right here… right now?” you drew your hand back mockingly, pretending to consider your options. his eyes darted around the room. god, you were making him way too nervous!

your fingers once again moved closer to his thigh, brushing against the edge of his bulge, which had begun to respond to your touch. “binnie, just think about it—a little release to make this night more enjoyable, hmm?”

with a chuckle laced with embarrassment, he tried to redirect the conversation, but your excitement was still bubbling over. hanbin looked so cute trying to keep it together. “do you think anyone would notice?” you whispered to him, your fingers still grazing his bulge. you held his gaze, seeing his breath hitch slightly.

“please stop,” he said. “we’re in public.”

“i’m just giving you a little attention,” you retorted, reveling in the game you were playing. as much as the anxiety of getting caught was evident in him, you knew he was still turned on.

you retreated slightly, fingers still lingering on his thigh as the waiter approached you just then, disrupting your playful tension as he politely asked if you needed anything else. hanbin cleared his throat, managing to compose himself just in time to respond, “no, thank you.” you stifled a giggle, well aware that the waiter had no idea how much mischief was brewing beneath the table.

“can we at least wait until we’re not in here?” he pleaded, his hands running through his hair in that way he did when he was flustered. it was hard to take him seriously when he looked like this, all flustered and a little helpless.

“gosh, fine!” you said, feigning a sigh of resignation. “i’ll behave… for now.”

dinner rolled on, with you stealing glances at him every so often. hanbin was trying to focus on the conversation, but every time you caught his eye, you could sense him thinking about what you had said earlier.

one thing about your loser is he isn’t the best at hiding something, hence why you could tell he couldn’t wait for what was to come once you two were out of the restaurant.

© vyutg, 2024.

[laviefantasie]

Video 1

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A dark classroom’s window with rain pouring down its glass, that’s what you’re pointing your videocamera at as you record. Ignoring the loud voices behind you as you focus on the soothing whisper of the falling drops.

“I’m soooooooo bored”, whines Gojo.

You sigh, looking through the screen at the window you’re currently recording after Yaga prohibited you all to go out because of the rain, saying how none of you had to get sick before your group mission.

Which meant all of you locked in one classroom dying of boredom.

“You know what we could do?” Shoko says, mischief in her tone, “How about we give Satoru a new look?”

The videocamera moves as you do, excitement coursing through your body as you see Gojo’s panicked expression.

You don’t hesitate to turn your camera to capture the horrified look on the white-haired sorcerer and the mischief and ecstasy on Shoko’s and Suguru’s.

“Woah! We are not giving me anything!” He exclaims, pointing his finger at his face, “THIS is perfection! You don’t mess with perfection!”

Suguro scoffs, “Oh, come on! It’s just a little trim or… oh! Are you scared? You are scared”

Shoko and you laugh quietly as Satoru looks at Geto in absolute disbelief and betrayal.

“I’m not scared! I’m not scared of anything!”

“Really?” Asks Shoko, “Then what’s all this yapping you got going on?”

“That’s not being scared! That’s just… Y/N! Tell them I don’t need a makeover!”

His hopeful eyes shining unblinkingly in your direction make you feel the slightest guilty. But not guilty enough.

Shoko grabs the camera from you with a smile that lets you know exactly what she expects you to do, making you groan internally. You truly doubted it’d work but Shoko and Suguro had been adamant on it.

Better try it out then.

The camera records you as you stare at Gojo before looking down for a second, smiling slightly with innocence.

“Oh! I…” you flutter your eyelashes innocently, “I just think you’d look great with shorter hair”

The camera records every single emotion that goes through Satoru’s face in a second. From the way his breath hitches and his eyes widen, to the red that slightly tints his neck, to the bashful look he directs to the side as he tries to appear unaffected.

It also captures the silent scoff you let out and the ‘I told you so’ look you direct at Shoko, believing her and Geto to be wrong.

But, oh boy, were they right.

“I guess…” he clears his throat, “a little trimming would look good on me. I mean anything would really”

That’s how later, Satoru found himself sat with the videocamera directed at him recording and the three of you behind him as you pondered how much to cut.

He had the most frightened look on his face every single time either of your hands got close to his hair, and even screeched when he saw one of you grab a scissor. It was taking every ounce of restraint he had to not run out the door. Why had he ever agreed to this?

“I’m so excited!” You laughed, “You’re gonna look great, Satoru!”

Oh, now he remembers why he agreed to it.

It was all your fault. You with your bright e/c eyes and glazed s/c skin. Why would you look at him with that expression? It made him forget for a second he was the strongest, that he was all-mighty and godly.

He didn’t truly understand why it made him forget. When had it become so easy to forget what everyone saw him as when you were around? Was it when you showed him your cursed technique after he promised to go easy on you during training? Or was it when you had listened to him talk about Digimon attentively, even going as far as reading the mangas too?

What exactly was what he felt anytime he had your attention? Why did his knees feel wobbly and his heart beat so loudly? Why did his senses become dull?

When had you started cutting his hair?

“AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!”

Long story short, for a while Gojo Satoru didn’t go out without something covering his head. He’d never let any of you cut his hair again.

Never ever.

[icallhimjoey]

idk why but I think it would be funny reader stuck in the elevator with joe and reader freaking out bc the elevator stopped while joe is all soft and trying to calm her down

YES excellent – i merged this idea with another request from anon who asked for a story that starts on the tube, so, here we go... a new five-part series! here's part one! thanks for the request, you're well sexy and the best, love ya for life xo Wordcount: 2.6K

---

Between Floors and Feelings

part one - part two - part three - part four - part five

“Rough night?”

You knew what this looked like.

You understood why the person who you'd sat down next to immediately got up and moved a few seats down. Why they avoided the drama of it all.

You understood why the lady opposite you stared at the floor and nothing but the floor, pretending that she hadn't seen you, probably because that would just be easiest for everyone involved, the politest thing to do.

You understood why the handsome stranger at the end of the carriage kept looking over, his big round eyes overflowing with pity for the runaway bride in the dirty dress, mascara stains all down her face and her hair a tangled up mess.

You got it.

You probably would’ve felt the same had you witnessed a girl in a wedding dress sit down in an empty seat, sort of dazed and empty-looking, numb to the stares and whispers – if people even whispered at all; the tube was notoriously quiet, always and forever.

“Rough night?” a boy from a group of four, maybe five, called over, and the rest of them all tried to hide their laughs.

Badly.

It was obvious they’d been drinking and you guessed they were on their way to the next party. Off to find another bar or a club that still let people in after the last tube had gone.

You made direct eye-contact with the kid, and you looked exhausted the way people can only look exhausted after they’ve cried for a good while.

Made sense, since, you know, you’d cried for a good while.

You just looked at this boy, who thought maybe he’d get a reaction out of you, but your lack of expression and unwavering stare quickly made him grow uncomfortable. Made his buddies shove his shoulders as they told him to leave her alone man, suddenly all respectful and well-mannered.

They felt the vibe. None of this was fucking funny.

It was enough to get him to back off, and thank fuck they all got off at Leicester Square – of course they did – and when the doors closed again, you noticed the carriage was mostly empty now.

A glance sideways told you the handsome stranger who’d been sneaking looks at you was still there.

Watching you.

What an outfit to be seen in by someone who had looks that would usually make you sit up a little straighter. Would make you faff with your hair a bit. Would make you stick your chin out and push your shoulders back, just in case he looked at you again.

You absolutely didn’t give a single shit about it now.

Couldn't care less about what you currently looked like.

You knew your face was a mess of streaky foundation with black mascara marks all the way down to your chin and, fuck it, you weren’t even planning on washing it off tonight. You’d wallow in bed and probably would cry some more before you’d fall asleep.

Tomorrow could be the day on which you’d care.

Maybe.

Right now all you’d wanted to do was murder someone, then sleep, and also, empty the rest of your bladder.

Perhaps that was the only thing about tonight that brought you secret joy; the memory of squatting over your boss’s handbag to piss right into it. You had to stop in a scurry when you heard footsteps coming up the stairs and didn’t want to be caught, but, if you had been, ultimately, it wouldn't have mattered.

You had resigned with immediate effect when you'd seen them.

Finding her unguarded handbag on your way out was exactly what she fucking deserved. You knew you'd probably regret it later, but for right now, it was all you fucking had.

The train stopped at Covent Garden, and it took a second for your body to get up to get out. Like the signals your eyes and ears picked up took longer to travel to the right parts of your brain, that then following signals took longer to travel from your brain to the right parts of your body.

You had to lift up your skirt, two fists grabbing at the tulle, to make sure your feet didn't get caught up as you stepped onto the platform.

With the increasingly annoying See It, Say It, Sorted repeating itself for the millionth time within the fourteen minutes you'd been on the tube, the doors beeped behind you before you heard them roll shut.

The platform felt empty, just a couple other people making their way towards the exit, and with your zest for life currently non-existent, the sensation of the wind from the tube leaving felt nice. So, you took a second, just stood there and thought to yourself how long it would take for it to become weird that you weren't moving.

There were just too many things to freak out over, far too much to completely overwhelm you, but it was almost like none of it was real. As if every single survival mechanism your body held within itself had switched on. They all made sure that the only thing you had going inside your brain was a low, constant hum. Nothing else.

It was almost like you weren't even there.

Like the whole evening had been a dream.

Like you didn't even really exist in this moment right now.

Yea. You were definitely dissociating.

You felt like a ghost a little.

One that had to pee, still. That motivated you enough to turn your head, tired heavy-lidded eyes reading the signs to follow them out.

Exit. To the lifts and stairs.

You were nearly home.

Home, where you were definitely 100 per cent going to beeline it straight from your front door right into bed.

Just that thought alone brought you back into yourself a little more, but it was just so you could tear up again. You felt the hot pinpricks behind your eyes and quickly shoved yourself out again.

No more crying, please.

You could just... float down the underground tunnels behind yourself. Follow your own footsteps out of the station. You knew were you lived. You would find yourself there later.

It was fine.

It was after the last theater rush, so for Covent Garden standards, it felt eerily quiet. Not that you were complaining. Waiting for the lifts whilst crushed between a bunch of tourists was the last thing you wanted right now.

But stepping into an empty lift with just one other person stepping in behind you, seeing just a few people step out on the other side, felt weird too.

Especially when you looked, and you saw that the one other person was the handsome stranger from your carriage. He'd apparently gotten off too, and suddenly, you felt embarrassed.

You were wearing a dirty wedding dress. Had black marks all over your face, all over your hands.

He looked fucking stunning. All prim and proper. Vintage-looking tweed green suit. Olive-y green. Gorgeous and well put together, the literal exact opposite from you in your current state. Like, sure, his curls were a little messy, but it seemed part of his look.

As the lift doors closed behind you, the stranger gave you a polite nod accompanied by a tight lipped smile. And you would have returned it, would've made it a kind, well-mannered exchange of acknowledgement, but, you weren't really inside of your body, remember?

All you did was look at him a second, face all blank, and you only slightly noticed that the empathy in his eyes doubled right in front of you before you turned away. You turned and slumped against the side, head resting back, eyes scanning the ads but not really reading anything, and you wondered if these lifts ever got cleaned. If someone ever took a rag and some cleaning solution and wiped down all the panels. By the look of things, probably not.

What if that was your job?

Clean the Covent Garden tube station lifts every day. There were four of them, and you imagined they all could use a good scrub.

You honestly wouldn't mind a job like it. You needed a new job anyway, 't was close to home and you liked the sense of accomplishment cleaning something incredibly dirty gave you. Where you could really see the difference.

You were doing a stellar job at distracting yourself from the current situation you were in. Made sure to stay all the way out of your body. Made sure that this veil that separated you from the real world, that blurred the boundaries between what was real and what was not, made sure that it stayed in place.

You were so close to home.

Wanted to be there right this second.

Fuck, you were so tired.

Maybe your new job could be figuring out this whole teleportation thing. See if you could make that work for yourself.

You didn't realise that your eyes were staring at the man who stood near where the doors were meant to open when you reached ground floor. Just, comfortably locked at the shoulder seam of his jacket.

Even when he turned his head a little for a quick look before he took a small sip from a half empty water bottle, surely because he could sense your two bulging wet eyeballs burn into his back, you didn't move your eyes.

Felt too nice to keep them there.

But then, without warning, there was a sudden jolt. It shocked you right back into your body and you couldn't help the small gasp that escaped you. The lift had come to an abrupt halt, and the lights flickered for a moment before they settled into a dim glow.

Oh no.

“Oh no,” the barely audible sound of your voice surprised you. Your throat still felt thick from crying, and hearing it out loud just reminded you of it more.

“Is it stuck?”

For a second, you thought that maybe, you were wrong.

You made a mistake.

Clearly you weren't really with it right now, so you didn't really trust your senses currently. You didn't really know what was real and what wasn't and found it difficult to differentiate.

But then the guy who was in there with you looked around, and then lowered his head. By the way his eyes moved, you could tell he was trying to listen for something.

“Are we stuck?” you tried again, and his eyes shot up to look at you.

No answer.

Fuck.

A mix of emotions washed over you; disbelief, annoyance, a new good dose of self-pity along with a strong healthy pang of sheer panic.

Cute.

It was kind of exactly how you felt about an hour ago.

If only there was a handbag of someone you really hated to piss into to elevate the situation a little. It helped a lot before.

“I think we're stuck.”

That was exactly the wrong thing to hear and it immediately threw you for a loop.

A panic attack.

The whole ordeal.

Your heart quickened its pace, an unsettling sensation tightened your whole chest and your breathing picked up, became all shallow at a rapid rate. Before you knew it, the box you were now trapped in felt like it was shrinking around you and suddenly you were in a place of imminent danger.

You were inside a mortal trap, a tragedy waiting to happen.

You had to sit down.

But your knees were locked.

You didn't know if the moisture you felt on your face were tears or sweat.

Oh man, it was hot in there. Did this guy feel hot in there too? Jesus Christ, why were wedding gowns so fucking restricting?

You saw how the emergency button was pressed, just once. Sensible. And then this guy waited patiently as he listened to static coming from the little intercom below it.

Well, fuck that.

In your panic you kind of threw yourself at this emergency button and with frantic hands and shaking fingers, you pressed it over and over and over, until two big hands took hold of you and guided your arms down.

“It's OK, don't worry. Help will come,”

Those words meant nothing to you, no matter how kindly they were said.

“Hello?!” you shouted like anyone would hear you, eyes big and darting, and you scanned the rest of the lift for more buttons.

Your phone!

Of course.

You fished your phone out, panicked movements making you nearly drop it.

No service.

Why?!

“Hey, breathe,” the far-too-good-looking-for-his-own-good stranger tried, but you had already slung both arms over your head and got the jitters in your legs, desperately needing to move and so you started pacing.

Two small steps towards the back, two small steps back to where this guy was stood.

“This is just perfect, what the fuck, this is just–” the loud and sudden sob that escaped you made you slap a hand over your mouth.

“Calm down, we're safe, you need to–” he huffed a humourless laugh through his nostrils, all obvious nerves and tense uncomfortability. “You need to breathe,”

And he was right. You did need to breathe. You started feeling light-headed a little, felt your cheeks start to tingle, so you covered your face with both hands and squatted down, making the tulle skirt of your dress take up half the floorspace.

He joined you down there and held out his opened water bottle to you.

“Do you need some water?”

You didn't move your hands as you shook your head no.

“Okay, let me try that again. My name's Joe, I think you're having an anxiety attack, and I think you need some water. Here, have some water,”

“I don't want water.”

It was definitely sweat and tears. You felt clammy and cold but somehow uncomfortably hot at the same time.

“Breathe in, hey,” a finger got snapped in front of your face several times. That didn't do shit. “You're just breathing out, you've got to let air in too.”

And just for a second, the smallest fraction of a teeny tiny moment, everything suddenly cleared up in your mind. Comfort and ease took over and you felt... well, nothing.

Felt like drifting.

You felt everything flush down your body, all the way from your face right into your toes until it was all gone.

Just for a mere second, though.

“I'm fine,” you croaked before everything went slack. You lost your balance, your eyes rolled back and just like that, everything went dark.

“Oh, shit, oh shit,” Joe muttered, moving forward from sitting on his haunches to pressing his knees into the fabric of your dress as he tried to reach for you in a flash.

He got you by the arm, his open water bottle terribly in the way, and his other hand managed to reach around your neck. He got to slowly lower you down, ease you towards the floor entirely unsure of what to do next.

What did he need to do next?!

He was trapped in a tube station lift, on a stop he didn't even need to get out of, with an unconscious runaway bride who'd quite clearly was having the absolutely worst day of her life ever.

What the fuck was he going to do?

Then, behind him, from the corner of the elevator, the intercom static picked up again and was followed by a crackly voice.

“Emergency services, how can we assist you?”

---

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