#which I might have back home
Text
Been missing & thinking about you a lot lately 🖤
#can not believe it’s been 25 years…#his death day anniversary was this month#closest thing I’ve ever had to a sibling 😔#we always celebrated our birthdays on the same day#since our bdays were 2 days apart#can’t help but imagine what it’d be like to have him here & what he’d be like#cancer sucks#wish I had photos of us together from us being older#which I might have back home#i remember some but no idea who has them now#the top right photo was on our last birthday together#you can tell he doesn’t feel good there 🥺#sorry like 80% of my original posts are sad shit I am unfortunately constantly haunted by the horrors 😄
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
last year i found a wii at goodwill for 25 dollars and it came with everything except a wiimote but it was in such good condition i was like hell yeah ill take it how hard can it be to find a wiimote. the answer is it's nearly impossible to find them at thrift stores now so i've spent like 8 months looking for ones in thrift stores but there wasn't a single one and then online but i just couldn't bring myself to spend 30 dollars on one single wiimote so i waited so. patiently. and then 2 weeks ago i finally found one at goodwill for 9 dollars but it was absolutely disgusting and the battery cover was missing and the compartment was all corroded so i put it back and regretted it the whole week but then this last weekend i went to savers and there was an absolutely perfect wiimote just sitting there with no corrosion and a jacket and the wrist strap and motion plus and the nunchuck was there too and i got it all for 10 dollars so the moral of the story is that sometimes things seem right for you in the moment but you have to recognize that they aren't and leave them behind so the things that are meant for you will in fact find you when the time is right. peace and love <3
#for real though im so happy i cant even lie like i regretted selling my wii soooooo much but anyway im back baby <3#im disinfecting everything rn bc i have a germ problem but once it it's done.....i am SO back#when i first got it i didnt have the remote right so i couldnt plug it in and make sure that it worked but i did just plug it into an outle#to make sure it ran and it did and wii sports resort popped out of the drive so thats fun bc i didnt have that one#and anyway i might cry when i hear the menu sound ngl ngl.#but the city i live in is like an overgrown retirement home and so the goodwill is full of old people things and this wii had stickers#like explaining which cord was which so i just know it was a wii that they bought for like grandmas house and only played it when they were#over there so anyway cant wait to see what's on there and if the news channel and weather channel are still on the homepage even though#i dont think they work anymore lol#also shoutout to the type a kid who kept their wiimote in such perfect condition that i wanted to cry when i saw it sitting on the shelf#ty <3
762 notes
·
View notes
Text
I had a clear vision with this one.
I did NOT need to spend that much time on this BUT DAMN IT IT’S FUNNY-
Context: Peppino was annoying the fuck outta’ him and it got so bad he wanted to take him home.
He was done with his bullshit- 💀
#Pizza Tower#TW: Alcohol#I’m a LITTLE upset that the last panel only came out….okay#I don’t like how it looks- I COULD DO BETTER#But that was my third attempt at drawing it so I got tired AND I NEED TO GO TO SLEEP- 😭#But it’s okay. It’s not GREAT but it’s okay and I’d rather have it look okay than bad-#Anyways the idea of Peppino annoying the absolute FUCK out of Gustavo while drunk is too funny#I tested it today and yeah he snapped at me-#It was mostly cuz I was doing stupid shit and he couldn’t control me 😂#And then he drove me back home which was nice- and still funny#Gotta mention how much I love drawing Gustavo mad-#He’s an absolute sweetheart but I’m telling you- bend the straw too much you might just break it.#And he had a migraine so I made it worse- 💀#I love C.AI bro it’s a masterpiece ✨✨#Took me a bit but I had fun. And I like the first two panels they looks great#Peppino#Gustavo#Drunk#Art
161 notes
·
View notes
Text
Aroace Riz real but also Fabian is SO clearly in love with him and Riz has no idea
#honestly fabian might not even fully know yet#a core part of fabians character is that he is so deeply afraid of rejection that he is never going to pursue the people he actually wants#i do think he likes Maezy a lot but i think he only knows how to pursue hot toxic women that will discard him at a moments notice#which in a way protects him from ever actually dealing with heartbreak#is he a gay man dealing with comphet? ehh maybe#i could see that#but I think the vibe i get is more about how he has these platonic friends he completely adores and is fully devoted to#and then in another category he has the people that he does not have any actual attachment to that he will allow himself to pursue#and crossing the boundaries in between those two categories or allowing himself to pursue someone he really cares for#would require a level of vulnerability he is in no way prepared for#in his home life he has an emotionally detached mother who is well liked but kind of floats through interactions on a surface level#and a father who is extremely concerned with fame and glory and attention but doesnt seem to have ever stopped moving in his life#genuinely fabian does not know what a safe loving partnership would look like#and we see him constantly oscillating between emulating his mother and his father in relationships#but just beneath the surface is a little boy who wants so badly to cling to his loved ones so tight and be squeezed right back#with no way of knowing how to even ask for that if he wanted#and riz is his best friend in the world and he knows on some level that riz is simply not interested in having that kind of relationship#not on the level fabian needs#but that also makes riz a safe target for these feelings of devotion#theyre just friends! just besties! fabian never has to reckon with his own loneliness or harmful patterns#if he channels all of his yearning for closeness onto his best friend#anyway! this boy needs therapy#fhjy#fhjy spoilers#fabriz
104 notes
·
View notes
Text
I saw the Northern Lights and I’m having an extreme emotional reaction excuse me
#I always planned on going somewhere else to see them#never in a million years thought I’d see them at home#it was like when I went to the Grand Canyon#I went because everyone hyped it up and it was on my way home#then I got to the grandview point#I climbed out to a pillar I really shouldn’t have#one lady was yelling about it the entire time#but then other people joined me#it was probably one of the most peaceful moments in my life#that’s what tonight was#profound peace#pure awe and wonder#a desperate wish that I also am part of those colors and swirls that inspire so much#I might not be much#but maybe the collection tells these stories#please don’t ruin them.#northern lights#aurora borealis#EDIT: I live in the east coast of the USA & I was roadtripping back from the west coast#which is why I mention stopping at the Grand Canyon#my sister and I roadtripped to get me there but we got snowed in at flagstaff and couldn’t go to the canyon#so I went on my way back#I had a whole national park tour planned#and I arrived 3 days later than intended specifically because of the Grand Canyon and Grabd Teton
31 notes
·
View notes
Text
How pissed do you think Shermie was when he found out about what really happened with Stan and Ford???
#Hayley Speaks#It might not hit as hard if you headcanon him as the baby in the flashback#But if you don't and you headcanon him as older than them it's like#Okay so he comes home to find out one of his younger brothers got kicked out#And the other moved all the way to the other side of the country#And then the news about Stan being dead comes up#So I fully imagine that while Stan never outright told him about what happened; he knows damn well that he's not Ford#Even after all the time they spent apart; that is so CLEARLY Stanley Pines who is suddenly going by Stanford#Maybe Stan hides his hands around Shermie to continue the con but Shermie knows#Which means something probably happened to Ford and Stan doesn't want anyone to know#So he keeps the secret and doesn't let on that he knows#He could always confront Stan about it but also like#The last time he really saw Stan was long before he got kicked out of the house#He does NOT want to scare off what is potentially the only brother he has left#He's always felt like the third wheel when it came to them; both because of the twin thing and the 'being the oldest' thing#Combined with the whole 'Pines men don't talk about their feelings' thing; he thinks it's best to just let Stan keep pretending to be Ford#And silently mourn the loss of the brother that the rest of the family doesn't realize is even gone#But THEN the grandkids are like 'Yeah Grunkle Stan's twin brother is back now!' and he's PISSED OFF#He kept Stan's secret for THIRTY YEARS and the bastard didn't even have the gall to let him know that Ford was back face to face#Neither of the bastards had the gall to do it?!#They just took off on a fishing boat together in search of adventure??#He's so mad at them but also...that is so painfully in character for them. At least from the memories he has of them as young kids.#But also.......he's their brother#They couldn't have told him ANYTHING???
22 notes
·
View notes
Note
Amnesia!Dabi: "So, did I get on okay with my dad?" / Everyone else: *sweats nervously* "UHHHHHH-"
YEAH ABOUT THAT
#honestly the wild shifting on things of like#toya pre-death very much loved his dad and wanted to be like him and wanted to earn his affection#so it's not as bad as current canon where it's pure hatred and murderous intent#especially because that shift had multiple factors to it#yes there was the fact that Toya realized *oh hey this dynamic is fucked and dad's an Asshole™ and I shouldn't have to fight to be loved*#which is entirely valid#but in /canon/ we had two other factors#one was that the league as a whole but def AfO was enabling that realization and manipulating it from *cut my losses and move on* to#*become a villain and commit some murders*#the other factor is Toya feeling like his death meant nothing to the family because they were exactly the same when he tried to go home#and I think that even with him still getting the first *this shit's fucked* realization#that the other two factors won't make him as furious and able to be manipulated#like he still might join the lov due to a lack of options but he's not quite as in the cause#actually swinging to CC for a moment:#toya finding out how devestated the whole family was /including/ his father is probably something that really helps pull him back#amnesia!dabi
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
for like 3 weeks i was wondering why i was sleeping so much and felt listless. and just now I managed to email 3 people and responded to a month old message in the span of an hour because I got back to TAKING MY FUCKIN MEDS..........
#MOTHER FFFFUCKER#to be fair. my doc said I could stop taking them while im on break since i wouldnt need to be constantly pumped on stimulants#im not sure if it was a side effect but i managed to take like 3 different naps in one day and STILL managed to sleep thru the whole night#at least 2 days into my break. the weird thing is i didnt feel more or less rested afterwards. but mentally i think im in a good place rn#to really put the level of awakeness im at rn i feel weirdly confident i could start one piece. also bc of that sick new opening it BANGS#the song is really good and im in love with the animation style. did some digging and it seems one of the lead animators is masato mori#but i could be wrong. it seems he also did some work on mp100 which could explain a lot lol.. he uses smear frames really well to convey#consistent movement and fluidity!!! someone else might have done color design but it works really really well esp with odas style!!#just love the overall vibe and aesthetic and id really love to study it and incorporate a bit of it into my art.. especially the thick#outlines which i think helps to separate characters and objects on screen. though i have to say the style is definitely more suited to#animation bc of the simpleness and smears. maybe that will help me explore shapes and perspective when i draw... i wanna get better#at drawing poses and angles but i have a hard time wrapping my head around space and using perspective guide lines NGHHHH#i wonder if it has to do with my dogshit ability to judge distance. not depth perception but like. judge how far smth is in metres etc#im also wearing an N95 for the first couple weeks back bc of the wave. absolutely NO BODY is wearing a mask its so fucking over#where im sitting ive heard 5 different people coughing probably not into their elbows!!! and im just. head in my fucking hands#there was a kid sitting a couple seats away in class coughing as he pleases and i wanted to grab him in a chokehold so badly. PLEASEE#ive been annoying my family by asking them to mask up and reminding them to bring masks when they go out and showing them news articles#but at least its working bc we ordered some KN95s and my mom is at least taking me seriously so. please dont be afraid to speak up abt your#health. take care of yourself and others however u can!! wear that mask indoors at your maskless friends house!!! stay home when u can!!#im wearing a surgical mask at home too bc my parents have '''a dry throat cough''' and they are so bad at coughing into their sleeves#also im pretty sure dry throat isnt transmissible bc my brother started coughing too so.. i also tested negative but they havent tested yet#im also not a doctor but i have to keep reminding ppl whenever i can that covid and flu work differently. covid is new and too recent to#have nearly as much research done on it. it seems its also compounding so instead of building immunity it weakens the body and spreads to#to other systems which might explain brain fog and muscle weakness. i remember someone early in the pandemic got infected and it messed up#their smell/taste receptors so bad that they cant eat most foods and that stays in the front of my mind when i think abt covid. christ#yapping
45 notes
·
View notes
Text
#bonus under the cut getting that snout facing right at the camera#camerupt#early 2000s animation cow‚ apparently. that's what someone just said about the bonus image. i honestly never understood this thing's name#i always thought it was pretty obviously a cow. but then its name implies camel. camel erupt. camerupt. is there a specific kind of#camel that just looks like a cow?? or. what. or am i just misremembering what camels look like#either way‚ i still think this pokémon is pretty cool‚ but i don't really use it ever in my own playthroughs. i don't think i *ever* have#not even in pokémon colosseum where i'm pretty sure you can get a shadow numel at some point. bc i already had a fire-type#not sure which one it was but it was definitely one of them. maybe cyndaquil? because of the dudes with the johto starters#that you fight near the beginning in pppp uuuhhh the PHENAC city i couldn't remember the name. for a second there.#i wasn't aware as a kid that their outfits corresponded to the type of the starter they had and also that you could only fight one of them#i think as a kid i was under the impression that there was only the one. for some reason i remember fighting the green one#oh wait they have the second-evos yeah. cuz he had bayleef. and the red one would've had quilava. not cyndaquil#ugh my memory is not very good evidently. i'm writing these tags after work. normally i do them right when i wake up but this time i just#do not have an excuse for not being able to remember shit. this is just on me. maybe it's amplified by the fact that i have yet to eat today#which i have a very bad habit of doing. forgetting to eat all day and not eating until like 5 and then that being my only meal for the day#i'm trynna get better about it but it is Not easy for some reason. for something that should be decidedly very simple#but my brain doesn't often let me eat until i've completed all of my silly little Tasks. so. idk. this will however post the day after i've#arrived back home from my trip which is nice. the first time future me will be sleeping in her own bed again. good luck again future me#you might need it
41 notes
·
View notes
Text
Who up and wanna take me out back and shoot me rn
#anybody else having like the worst fucking night of all time or just me !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m at the end of my rope !!!#I can’t take this shit anymore!!! (continues to take it)#first I go to help someone give her cat it’s FIP treatment and got bit like 14 times and then I went to the ER#and then it was super crowded and I felt like I was overreacting so I left#even tho I know I wasn’t lol I have enough experience with this shit to know this is bad#and then coming home I almost got in a fucking head on collision#and then got a message about a dead cat someone had hit and left on the side of the road#so I had to go get it and take it 20 minutes away to the emergency vet to be cremated#and the cat had clearly been recently pregnant which means there are kittens somewhere dying without her#so I’m gonna have to go back tomorrow and try to find them if they’re still alive#which means I’m gonna have to deal with the homeowners#fuck!!!!!!!#and that’s IF I’m not back in the ER in the morning if these bites get infected#like her teeth hit the bone in my finger lol#I might um. kill myself. idk#personal
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
not get littol man :(
#shelter got back to me: they'd mislabeled his profile#and want to prioritize getting him a home with multiple pets#which. fair. i'm glad they're not going to force him somewhere he might not be happy and i'm not planning on getting another cat soon#but i'm disappointed#applied for another cat who'd do better as an only pet#so it's not like i'll NEVER have a cat#but probs not today#and not this particular silly guy#me; shaking the bars of my enclosure: want pet!!!#i have all the basics in my spare bath and a handful of toys already#it IS deranged how immediately the ocd took this and went#''this is a sign. you don't deserve a pet. you don't NEED a pet. you should be donating that money.''#''clearly you're not in a position to care for another living thing''#''how dare you want a companion animal when the world is suffering''#so uh. cool? luv that for me.
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
We're in this weird limbo right now with rally ob. New rules are being developed to be closer aligned to the FCI RO rules, but the process is slow and pretty painstaking, and while it's still ongoing we have no trials to attend. And when we do get a chance to trial again I don't really know what exactly the new rules will look like, so everything’s a bit ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ right now.
In the meantime, Kaija and I are just hanging out and having fun and making some lovely progress in training that may or may not end up being useful at some point. It's kinda nice having the pressure be off like this, and I'm trying to use our time in the rally limbo to work on my own attitude in training. Trying to get better at laughing off errors and backslides. I've struggled in the past with wanting to push through when my dog isn't getting it and with becoming flustered or frustrated bc we're in class and people are watching us etc etc etc. But pushing past what she's prepared for and getting frustrated when it doesn't really work has never actually helped. So I'm trying to just laugh and move on when mistakes do happen. And when something needs to be fixed, we fix it at home and then slowly bring it back to class, I don't worry about it in the moment.
I want to be as fair to Kaija as I can be while we're doing this silly little sport together, and not having any pressure to be trial ready in however many weeks is honestly really helping me stick with that mindset. Even when we fail spectacularly in front of everyone lol.
#we're going to classes every week and training at home almost every day but we're also kind of just chilling#i've been experimenting more with training recently#taught kaija a directed send around a cone which we actually struggled with for a bit but then i decided to move on to other stuff#and when we came back to the cones kaija immediately nailed it#so that was pretty cool#and i think i might try shaping a retrieve#i don't use shaping a whole lot despite enjoying the process so we'll see how it goes and if it goes at all#i feel like we could use a fun shaping project and since i have a dumbbell lying around and we don't actually need a retrieve for anything#it might as well be that right#anyway as always the bottom line is that i love my dog and she's my favourite and that's it :) bye
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
idk how to even like. put this pain into words and i would normally vent about this shit on twitter, but the person its about follows me on there so like. anybody have skills for coping with the crushing realization that the person u love most in this world and have built ur life around sees ur current situation together as a temporary hurdle that's preventing them from their truest and happiest self which. is separate from u entirely? anyone know how to deal with this?
#live with my best friend in the whole entire world who. honest to god makes me the happiest person alive.#like im always waxing poetic about her in the tags on posts about platonic love#and i talk about her like she put the stars in the skies because for real it feels like she did for me#she is. the most important person in my life#and every day i feel grateful just to come home and sit with her#like honest to god i cannot imagine a future that is better than this#if i have a bad day i get to come home and my best friend in the world will make me laugh#what more could i ever ask for#but tonight we talked and she made it abundantly clear that. even if i do everything right#even if i'm the perfect roommate and the best friend i can be#in just over a year#when she's making enough money for it#she plans on moving into a place of her own#which like. makes sense for her. of course we were going to get to this point.#but i just. don't know what i'm going to do.#and it kills me that we're on different pages because for some reason i thought this was a long term thing#i thought we were going to move into a house together#i was just telling my coworker this week that we need to move into our forever home soon which was partially a joke#but also. even if i was making a million dollars a year.#i would still want to be here. with her.#or somewhere else. with her.#like it's so hard to imagine a future without her. it breaks my heart and scares the shit out of me.#and i know i can't afford it here. and i can't move in with strangers. and i'm working my dream job but i'm scared that i'm going to have t#give it all up and move back east because. i can't do this alone. and she's all i have. and all i ever wanted.#and she's leaving.#she doesn't want to be with me.#sry this is so fucking. ugh. idk. i just don't know what to do.#for real might just drop everything and move to chicago if it comes down to it ksdkfljdfs#its what sufjan would have wanted#fucked up terrible no good week
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
pro tip: if you think you have adhd then don't start a master's program before you even get a diagnosis (also you need a stronger prescription, you have astigmatism, and reading glasses aren't gonna cut it)
#i can handle one class just fine but 2 classes??? im killing myself#im working too so its like i never have time for myself and its just a neverending well of assignments and work plus i hate the schedule#why is everything due at 10:59 and why is it due in the middle of the week but i have to come back the next 2 days and write responses#one of my classes will trade out a disucssion for the week with an assignment thats due at the end of the week and i like that sm better#the other class makes use do a discussion and an assignment in the same week#and usually they're all due at the same time so i go to work and then go home do my homework and then do more homework on the weekend#then go back to work do you understand my problem#anyway my mom casually confirmed that i have astigmatism recently which ???#but my eyesight is fine but driving in the dark is hell and its not b/c of the dark!#any kind of bright light blinds me like it could be a sunny day and i won't be seeing shit for that entire drive omg#just realized that this might be the cause of an increase in headaches wait...#ok back on track: adhd consultation (maybe) in a month and a half!#i don't have a therapist so im hoping my doctor can help? or at least refer me to somebody that can help b/c looking is hard omg#where the therapists at omg#moon posts#long one today because i am procrastinating so i can give up <3
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
'going to georgia' by the mountain goats but it's about lee everett during twdg s1
#.#i don't have the energy to explain myself on this one#i have a lot of complex thoughts about this that i dont think i can fully articulate rn#twdg#lee everett#oh actually im going to elaborate on one part of this because i might forget#the whole 'crossing the macon county line' repeating part of the song#lee grew up in macon#and i like the emphasis in the song of not just travelling to georgia#but having to go through macon to be there#(having to get over a hurdle to get somewhere)#and to lee the first time they go to macon after the apocalypse begins. thats still his home.#but by the time he leaves and they're back on their way to their final destination#hes gotten closure. and knows that place itsnt him anymore#but yeah theres that one part in the song where it replaces the macon line#with “this is nowhere. going to georgia”. which would be him letting go of macon. and all of his past. focusing on his current self + goal#and with all the verses and everything#i like to think that clementine. whilst softening him up as person#also makes lee unbind himself from his past. most of which he stores in macon#because of not only growing up there#but also feeling the guilt of showing up there again after his conviction#because that was the only place he could still call home#and knowing every good memory he had left was tainted with that one mistake. because all he had nothing else but his home#so yeah. after the apocalypse. before he got the closure in macon#that was the one place he had unfinished business. and its what was holding him back#so being able to say#he's simply 'crossing the macon county line' in the end. not even regarding it as nowhere. regarding it for what it was.#is monumental#even more#its not acknowledging that macon is a place of negative significance for him
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#making an automatic watering system w arduino#have it flashed to trigger the relays already for a variable amt of time#which at the end of the day is basically all it takes + scheduling#but now ofc its growing its own potential spinoffs...#i wanna add a BLE module to be able to control the scheduling from like a phone#which will then also require some minimal data storage...#then the big question is rly how to power it...#its probably gonna b within an extension cord length from the back door but dont wanna deal w unplugging it for rain etc#so maybe like a weatherproof case w solar & a battery? but then ive gotta figure out the best way of battery-izing it....#lithium seems like an overkill unless its like maybe lifepo#& generally prefer lifepo over cobalt etc for safety#but then ive gotta figure out how to add a charging circuit to it....#anyway then once i have the app controlling scheduling i can also start integrating it into my home organizing/etc app?#& ideally be able to like have a couple nodes like that?#ah fuck also gotta figure out a case#maybe just start w a nice n dirty project box til i eventually make a custom enclosure/PCB backplate for the assemblage#maybe just put it next to our sprinkler box & just make the tubes longer so i dont have to fuck around w batteries for this?#starting to convince myself of that idea tbh#rn the relayboard has 4 guys...might b better to just have this as the master instead of having nodes so just get more relays#centralize & dont have to deal w synching headaches#maybe get like a multiplexer? not like this would necessarily need multiple at a time 1 at a time wouldnt b the end of the world#& i have some cheap moisture sensors but dont rly trust em tbh#esp w plants i intend to eat#eventually tho maybe link some sensors into the system#tho weather alone is probably enough to figure out#oh! huh how would i do that....#dont wanna have a whole ass wifi connection on the arduino#or like parsing web results on there...#& i dont rly wanna only know when connecting to my phone...#so that seems to point towards some client that checks the weather prediction like once a day & sends that/consequences to arduino?
21 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
ankaratravestiester
Ankara Travesti Ester
sound-happen-edge-edge
Untitled
teksmithes
ReBar Mill Manufacturer
insecuurities
you sunshine, you temptress
jasonkaraan-blog-blog
Let it all out.