#actually swinging to CC for a moment:

[princess-of-the-corner]

Amnesia!Dabi: "So, did I get on okay with my dad?" / Everyone else: *sweats nervously* "UHHHHHH-"

YEAH ABOUT THAT

[theminecraftbee]

being in true sexyman nostalgia mode today (on account of. IT'S BEEN ONE YEAR BABY.) i think one of the most fascinating things about it is that we will never manage to do that again. like, not in a "we couldn't organize it better" way; there were better ways to do the spreadsheet, we would just turn off comments on posts and anon asks from day one so that we wouldn't then get people accusing us of censorship while we tried and failed to control the tide of things that ended up in the comments and inbox, we'd definitely have a WAY higher non-hermit contingent, both thanks to qsmp and thanks to the sexyman blog and medusa now having MUCH wider reach to other corners of the fandom and the original spread not all rooting at me, etc.

but the reason we couldn't do it again is that i don't know if we could ever replicate the exact circumstances that lead to it blowing up quite to the extent it blew up.

it was while tumblr polls and doing tumblr poll brackets on tumblr itself was still new-ish, and people were still excited about them. the idea of a mcytblr bracket was basically brand new; i won't claim we did it FIRST (because i have no idea if we did and doubt we did), but certainly we did it big first. so there's that; we can never again invent in real time "shit people are sending us threats about fraud lets legalize fraud because its funny, we can't stop it, and that neutralizes that drama as a thing anyone will take seriously", and then in turn accidentally invent a fandom culture of. um. wide-spread voter fraud.

(i don't know if we should apologize for, uh, causing the specific way mcytblr voter frauds. i still think it was better than the alternative at least, especially after seeing how so many other polls crashed and burned after us. there were MANY things we could have done better but i have seen SO MANY ways we could have done things worse since then so i think we came out looking pretty okay.)

but also: february 2023 was a very different time in mcytblr. we were in a hermitcraft dead period, where most of the hermits were either on vacation or playing tcg (which was fun, but didn't end up generating that much fandom activity by that time in february). the former dsmp crew was very much doing Nothing (and in that awkward space when the entire fandom knew dsmp 2 was never happening, but also people were still claiming it would happen, so it was just... busy waiting). qsmp didn't exist yet. there was no ongoing life series and wouldn't be for some time. i think even the dominioners and lifestealers were in a fairly dead zone. there was very little new for people to be excited about, mcyt content-wise.

enter: our poll. our poll which cleo then thinks its funny to call out on twitter. our poll, which was not only new mcyt content for the fandom to interact with (thanks to the fact we KEPT GETTING CC INTERACTIONS???), but participatory.

for about two weeks, we were the mcyt event de jour.

and like. the thing is. now we're in february 2024. mcyt is BOOMING. a new hermitcraft season JUST STARTED. we came off of vault hunters before that. meanwhile, qsmp just restarted and is, if i'm understanding correctly, booming. they just added a new guy! the two current juggernauts of the fandom are in FULL SWING. i honestly think we'd be somewhat overtaken by the fact things are actually happening in fandom. there's stuff to do that ISN'T go insane about a poll.

and it's not new, and we've seen it all before now, and frankly, it's hard to cause a mass hysteria event TWICE. lightning in a bottle, as they say.

i think part of the reason we all just REMEMBER mcytblr sexyman so much is that we could never, ever recreate it, so it remains crystalized in a single moment in time, impossible to replicate, forever memorable.

anyway: HAPPY ONE YEAR TO THE JOE HILLS SWEEP BABY,

[waitmyturtles]

THE MORNING AFTER: ONLY FRIENDS, EPISODE 9 EDITION -- SEX, RELIEF, HYPOCRISY, AND A MEDITATION FOR THE HOES

There's a lot to dig into, so let's git it. This episode was more complicated than it actually seemed on the surface -- THANKS, TOP.

@lurkingshan and @respectthepetty came OUTTA the GATES as soon as yesterday's episode dropped, swinging their chanclas at the hypocrisies that larded this episode. Shan read almost every last one of these motherfuckers for filth in her post, naming Atom (there goes my NeoTitle dreams already) for unfairly shaming Boston; Ray, for clearly cheating on Mew; and Sand, for equivocating Ray to Boston -- all while Boston is actually still clearly communicating his preferences to not date, despite people all around him judging him for the sex he has. RTP Senpai points out that Sand is pissed off at Top for stealing Sand's ex-boyfriend -- but that Sand full well knows that while he's sleeping with Ray, Ray was technically still dating Mew. So -- is Sand stealing Mew's boyfriend from Ray? Why, oh yes he is, and Sand ain't holding himself accountable for it, Big Boba Kanaphan Eyes.

Hypocrisy. It was the name of the game of this episode. Or.... was it? It was actually way more complicated than that.

Atom in particular, just like -- where's my chappal -- but let me get back to him in a sec. As the hypocrisies were starting to click in, I saw something else going on in this episode, an opposite to the hypocrisy. I saw some clear revelations, and a learning and leaning into love through the inexperienced eyes of Mew, as compared to the painfully experienced eyes of Yo.

The episode started with Mew waking up at the hostel, unaware of Top's behaviors after Mew passed out at the Halloween party. (Top, by the way, was just -- CHEF'S KISS -- drippingly condescending, hypocritical, and sneaky this episode. Force just laid it awl out. What a performance. More on this in a bit.) Mew parties with Yo, who is like, the friend we need the MOST in this series, and asks her about whether or not he SHOULD like Ray. And Yo has to remind Mew to check himself before he wrecks himself over any sense of obligation he may have to Ray.

Yo's starting to help Mew's thoughts tickle away from obligation to a reality of his heart. At least -- one reality.

I thought of this scene when we went on the camping trip with Sand and Nick, and we had, I think, the best scene in all of Only Friends so far (cc @wen-kexing-apologist and @lurkingshan who were very, VERY right) -- in Sand and Nick clicking into their moment where they're both single, they both real cute, and why don't we see if something's there? Because that happens among friends, sometimes, and if you don't try, you won't know, right? Especially in a queer friend community that will almost always be smaller than a het community, making love that much harder to find. So you might dibble and dabble with your friends here and there.

And they smooched, and they laughed, and they were like, this doesn't work, and they laughed more, and moved on. And they were just so mad cool about it.

The way that this particular line of engagement ended with two pairs -- with Sand and Nick finding clarity, and Ray and Mew together at the social services office and communicating, to confirm that Ray and Mew just would not work together -- was a kind of relief that I haven't experienced in Only Friends yet. The slight lift I got from seeing these considerations and interactions reminded me of how I felt when the tide of trauma began to turn in Bed Friend, where the second act of that series was just trauma pummel after trauma pummel -- how much more could Uea take, I wondered. As we saw, in this episode of Only Friends, clarity roll through SandNick and RayMew, I felt relieved that there was some closure, somewhere, among some of these individuals who had tried, even ever so briefly, to pair up.

But -- this being Only Friends, heh -- it was not only relief that I felt in this episode, but we also still saw a lot of sticky toxicity and hypocritical judgements.

Atom couldn't just leave Boston ALONE. As ever, Boston has communicated to his hook-up that he's not a dating guy, not a relationship guy. And Atom doesn't take the hint.

I love that at this point in the series, at episode 9, we STILL have people judging one-night stands as "awful." What a stark reminder of the ways in which people use judgements against sex to forever condemn those who choose to engage in casual sex.

After episode 6, I wrote a little about the phenomenon of having "feelings" after sex. Many, many people have a biological urge (or even a socially expectant urge) to care/have feelings for for the person they have slept with, whether they had sex after a one-night stand, a friends-with-benefits arrangement, sex in a relationship, etc. Others, like Boston, don't.

Either of these phenomena are okay and utterly normal -- as long as you're accountable to yourself for your feelings, and not placing on anyone else any obligation to respond to those feelings that are only emanating from you, yourself.

In other words: even if Atom had "feelings" for Boston after sex -- what is Boston's responsibility to respond in kind to those feelings?

Boston had the right answer to Atom here. Boston says to Atom: no one (meaning, me, Boston) asked you to care for me. And I'm not here to hold that caring for you. I don't owe you that, Atom. That's not what's assumed when two people have sex as casually as we did.

Compare this to Nick's farewell monologue to Boston (right before Boston is about to have a hook-up, oh my god, Nick). Nick had a thing to say about his feelings ("I like you, Boston, and I am sorry for everything I did, and I am going to move on from you"), he said his piece, and he moved on.

At first, I was CRINGING at what was happening, because I thought Nick would make an embarrassingly grand and dramaaaaatic farewell, of a kind that I saw many of my drunk girlfriends make to their exes at bars when I was in my 20s, all with an intent of making their exes feel guilty for the break-ups that had previously happened.

But Nick, in that moment, actually owned his feelings, despite the timing of the conversation. And we saw Boston respond, ready to approach Nick -- and Nick had bounced and moved on with Daddy Dan, right then and there.

What a MIRROR of behavior between Atom ("Boston, you owe me") and Nick ("I thought about this, and I'm going to end it, for your happiness and for mine"). While Boston and his reputation still remain as a kind of bottom standard for people who want to feel superior when they compare themselves to him (ex: Top, Ray, Sand), Boston himself is direct about his feelings, or lack thereof, and Nick demonstrated that he himself has moved on from equivocating about a feeling of like/love that at least, he thinks, is not there anymore. (Which, from Boston's eyes -- we know now is not the case, as Boston continues to give hints of regret.)

I gotta tell y'all something. I was a party girl, like this group of friends, in my 20s. And I was heavily judged for being a ho. The terms slut, ho, whore -- were all used to describe my behavior in dripping judgement that I wasn't, instead, seeking safe and Puritanical monogamy. I was having fun with and in sex, and I was very heavily judged for it. Maybe, in part, it was because some of my friends had a harder time finding sex? Perhaps. But because sex is so EASY to judge, based on the majority popular judgements against sex -- isn't it easier to roll with the tide, than to think outside of the box and to not judge someone for having casual sex?

While Boston's ho reputation precedes him -- it is a reputation based on an unfair, almost Puritanical judgement against sex, and against people who have sex. (Once again: hello, Khai.) I give major applause to the hoes in this episode of Only Friends. All while people around them are judging sex, and judging people like Boston for having sex: Boston and Nick are not hiding anything -- they are not trying to equivocate away their actions. Their own timing isn't right. Nick knows he's about to go and hit that with a new dude. But they both have clarity about what's happening inside of them at their given moments, and they've become better about communicating what's happening inside of them over the course of the series. It's yet to be seen if the timing will work out for Boston and Nick -- but they're inching towards a clearer line of openness than we've seen in the past.

So. While awwwwlllll of this is going on: Top continues to try to infuse himself in Mew's life. Man. THIS GUY.

Top? Shut the hell up. Condescending foo. And then showing up to invite yourself to accompany Mew's moms? All while Mew doesn't know that you crossed his boundaries the last episode? And that you recorded Ray smooching Sand? Stooping to the very same tactics that got you, Top, caught? AND YOU CALLED A BOOTY CALL? While trying to win back Mew?

And...... amazingly. For Top, it worked. Or at least, it was working for a second. Mew was reconsidering.

To me -- in my opinion -- Top's behavior seems conniving, sniveling, more about winning than about love. But he also knows that he still has a hook in Mew, and was pulling rapidly on the fishing line.

And Mew... Mew began to follow that fishing line again, showing up to Top's building, and hopping into that elevator, with another person that Top had on his hook. And, good lord, now with Mond (MOND!) in the mix, we're going to have ANOTHER dramatic pile-up next week.

God, for me, while there were these notes of relief in this episode, these moments of clarity among people like Sand, Nick, and Boston, I just, like, wanted to tear MY HAIR OUT when I saw Mew and Boeing both approach Top's door at the same time. What the fuck will happen next.

And while Top will try to convince Mew to stay with him, surely, in episode 10 -- Top will also continue to judge Boston to Mew, I am sure. Top will judge Ray. Top will try to "heal" and "protect" and "take care" of Mew.

Top, leveraging judgement against sex by others to build up his own supposed moral and ethical fabric, "taking care" of Mew and leading Mew to think that Top is still a viable candidate for dating -- Cheum even interprets Top's behavior at the Halloween party as "taking care" of Mew -- will it come crumbling down as Boeing the Ex shows up for a little boing-boing?

Dudes, I have no idea, because Top keeps catching breaks! For people at The Top -- that's so often how it works in society, no?

Like I said: this was a hella complicated episode. We have three more to go. This episode captured in a snapshot a group of gloriously imperfect people making equivocating decisions as they bumble along, minute by minute. SandNick and RayMew got CLARITY. Boston got CLARITY on his feelings for Nick. Cheum is getting CLARITY on her association with the hostel. Atom got CLARITY on where Boston stood. I don't know that we have CLARITY on SandRay yet, but.... I dunno, I'll let the capitalists at GMMTV decide that, ha.

Where we don't have clarity is now with Top and Mew, with Top acting clearly duplicitously, and how Mew is going to manage this latest fall-out. I have no idea if Boeing will serve as competition to Mew, if Boeing will be the lug nut in the polycule we're all dying for -- I have no idea. I just know that Top -- who purports himself to be above all moral judgement, winning the hearts and minds of at least two moms from out of town, wtf -- will face yet another challenge in winning Mew's heart that he likely has a stronger chance of winning, due to his station in life. Top was about to come out on Top in this episode, and I wouldn't be surprised if he hangs on for another playoff win next week. We shall see.

I'm tagging the Ephemerality Squad in permanent fury over the permanence of people judging sex, let's go! @ranchthoughts @chickenstrangers @twig-tea @distant-screaming @thatgirl4815 (THATGIRL WITH THE THEORY THAT BOEING MAY NOT BE THE EX THAT TOP AND SAND SHARE, OH SHIT!) @lurkingshan @neuroticbookworm @wen-kexing-apologist @clara-maybe-ontheroad @kayatoasted

[angelsanarchy]

Glass Houses: Jack Thurlow x Y/N Series CH 16 -> CH 17

Tagging: @roryculkinluvr @thatsthewrongwallcraig @icarus-star @cc-luvr @madamemaximoff06 @shady-the-simp @quicksilversg1rl @s-0lar @kristennero-wallacewellsver @ophelialaufey @mayathepsychic1999 @x-prettyboy-x @rorylover71

Jack knew he had to come clean to Dr. Carty about what he did the other night. He was surprisingly not as pissed as he would have expected.

"Jack, if your side effects were this bad then you should have told me. I will send a few new prescriptions to the pharmacy but I want you to start making notes of the side effects every day. We have to figure out a better way for you to get the things you need without wrecking your system." Dr. Carty pinched the bridge of his nose.

"You're lucky she checked on you when she did. You could have died." He scolded softly and Jack nodded his head.

"I know. I guess if I'm going to have a guardian angel, it's probably a good thing she's a nurse that lives next door." Jack could see that Dr. Carty wasn't impressed with the humor.

"You should consider adding her as an emergency contact in the event you decide you want to get a little fast and loose with your medications again." He peered over his glasses and Jack scrunched his face.

"I don't think we're there just yet." Jack didn't want to burden Y/n with so much of his shit so soon. He wanted to build up a connection before she had to be a part of all his demons.

They talked for almost an extra hour, discussing new medications, what they're supposed to do and some of the side effects. Jack made sure to make a list to ask Y/n about the next time he saw her which turned out to be at around 9:30 that night. He saw her taking her evening walk as he sat on the porch reading through googles best medication side effects. He sat the computer down and jogged towards her.

"Hey!" She jumped making him laugh.

"Sorry, you scared me." She pulled her headphones out and pocketed them as he started walking next to her.

"You're looking a lot better. How are you feeling?" Y/n she asked as he shoved his hands in his pockets.

"I'm feeling a lot better thanks to you. I just wanted to apologize again-"

"Jack please. I'm just glad I was able to get to you in time. I highly suggest switching to weed if you need something to knock you out but that's just my medical opinion." She smiled at him.

"I finally talked to my Doc about the medicine change. I made a list of all the ones he's changing up just in case you want to give an opinion on that too." Jack pulled the list out and she laughed.

"Are you comfortable sharing that with me? I mean you can just tell me about the side effects when they hit. You don't have to-"

"I trust you." Jack pressed and she took the slip of paper. She nodded at the names and handed it back to him.

"These are some good alternatives. I would keep an eye out for dry mouth with this one. They make tabs to put under your tongue if it gets too annoying." Jack smiled at the recommendation.

"Who takes care of you if you're taking care of everyone else?" Jack asked curiously.

"Oh I've taken care of myself since I was young. I don't require a lot of care anyway. You'll be shocked to hear I am insanely boring." She lowered her voice.

"I don't believe that for one second. I'm sure you've got a wild night life that no one knows about. Maybe a secret second job at a club where you can dance in scantly clad clothes to get your kicks." Jack teased.

"So you think I'm a nurse by day and a stripper by night?" She laughed.

"I barely have enough energy to wash my hair let alone change out of scrubs to find some upper body to swing around a pole. Plus I have terrible knees." Jack laughed as she tried to show off a squat and winced.

"Okay so no secret double life. How about hobbies? What do you like to do when you aren't working or taking care of your mom and crazy neighbor?" Jack watched her take a moment to actually think about it.

"I like to read. I like to build things with my hands. I love to paint." Jack let out a belly laugh.

"Well shit why didn't you say that? I have tons of house that needs painting!" Jack gestured over his shoulder towards the house and she shook her head at him.

"I like landscape painting, not free manual labor." She pointed out.

"Maybe you could do a painting for me? My dad was an artist. He has this drawing of the house that kind of got wrecked during the clean out. I would love to get it redone. I'll even pay you for it." Jack offered.

"You don't have to pay me. I'm not an artist. I just like to paint." She blushed. This was kind of the first time Jack had seen a more vulnerable side of Y/n. She always seemed confident in how she presented herself. As a nurse, as a daughter, as a care taker.

"What about you? I think you mentioned you like to write?" Y/n remembered.

"Yeah I'm working on a book about my life...kind of. Changing the names to protect the guilty I suppose." Jack rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

"I'm sure it'll be great. The horror stories of our lives always make for believable fiction. Most people don't think there are people who actually struggle as writers portray." She paused in front of the front gate and Jack stopped walking.

"Maybe...you could read some of what I have? Let me know how believable it is?" Jack asked nervously earning a sweet smile.

"I would love that, Jack." Jack now felt more anxious than before knowing she might hate his writing or his life story.

"I'm glad you're feeling better. Please call me if you start to feel your breathing getting weird. I'm still worried you're going to have after effects." Y/n touched his arm and he nodded.

"I'm feeling better, I promise but I will call you if anything feels off." Jack promised.

"You can call me too if you need anything...or you know, you just want to talk." Jack took a step further and Y/n laughed.

"You want to talk about all the neighborhood gossip? Did you see Sharon's new gardening outfit? Absolutely scandalous." She teased.

"If Sharon's the one with the red hair and huge tits then yes, absolutely scandalous." Jack's smirk made Y/n hit his chest with the back of her hand.

"Ew Jack! Stop jerking off to the neighbors!" She pushed her way through the gate and Jack threw his hands up.

"What!? You can't just expect me to not take advantage of free tits!? I'm a man!" He defended.

"Now you're hurting my feelings. I thought I was special." She put her hands over her heart.

"You are. You still hold the top spot of best tits in town." Jack admitted. Y/n smiled so brightly her cheeks were blushed as she shook her head.

"Goodnight Jack." She waved over her shoulder and Jack turned back to the road to walk himself home. He took a breath he didn't know he had been holding, worried things would have changed between them. He was ready to make a different kind of connection with Y/n. He just hoped she felt the same way.

[lucyfrostblade]

lucy frostblade 👽🦾💝

headcanon ask game !!

👽 A headcanon about a weird quirk of there

i must once again cc: @vortahoney on this one, bc we are constantly talking about lucy frostblade and our ideas bleed together in my head but i think lucy had an odd fascination with death and decay prior to her own death and decay. it's part romanticization of death, of dying young in particular, and part worship. winter is after all the bleakest season and often symbolizes death. she knows a lot of random facts about the insects and bacteria and fungus that aid in decomposition and she was not afraid to share them constantly. i imagine her and ivy could hold a conversation on the topic while the rest of the party slowly stop eating their lunch and start glaring at them.

of course, lucy died and then came back, and it all feels a little too real for her to be so blasé about it.

🦾 A disability headcanon

hEDS lucy frostblade. have you seen how she holds her morning star in the official art? she holds it like that despite her doctor telling her she's going to end up injuring herself if she doesn't stop. plus her knees look a little hyperextended to me, especially in comparison to how ivy and buddy are depicted. maybe it's just the socks but in my heart? hEDS lucy frostblade is canon. she swings her morning star and bam, shoulder subluxation. she has a bunch of braces she wears depending on what's wrong at that moment. kipperlilly carried them around for her just in case she needed one.

💝 A headcanon about their love language

okay so i don't actually believe in love languages but for the sake of the ask game: i think physical touch and gift giving would equally suit lucy as her primary displays of love, but she prefers to receive words of affirmation!

[spacehero-23]

May be unpopular ..but anytime someone is sad about Grace and Kit not happening on the timeline ..I can’t help but feel vindicated? Especially since the fandom downplayed what happened to him and thought it was okay to ship James’ ex gf and abuser with his first cousin, so because of having to see that all these years I’m glad she ended up the way she did at the end of Chain of Thorns, Im sad for Kit but not sad that they didn’t end up romantic. It feels like Cassie respected his trauma, even if I didn’t like Kit standing up for her and meeting her in secret in the first place. That was something that would’ve felt more comfortable to read if it were Jesse defending her there, not Kit. With Kit his focus on Grace almost felt disloyal, I was surprised with James’ temperament and fragile emotions that he didn’t snap at Kit over his doting over Grace..It was an ooc moment for James not to react but CC just didn’t want Kit to be called out only by Anna and Tom for some reason

oh I don’t think it’s an unpopular opinion, maybe it depends on who you follow but I saw a lot of people here and on twitter (myself included) criticize the Kit scene and how clear it was that he did not care about James's trauma. 

I’m re-reading the book right now, and every scene with Kit and James/The Merry Thieves is kind of spoiled for me, because I know that he chose this girl he knew for a month? over one of his closest friends. 

I think James didn’t say anything because he was just so exhausted from telling the story and he didn't want to fight with Kit right away. And I feel like Kit’s death robbed us of an actual confrontation (but I think she did that, because she knew most people would hate Kit for siding and fighting on the behalf of the abuser). 

I also saw people say that since Thomas forgave Alastair and wanted everyone else to forgive him, he should understand Kit. Which is???? nope. Those are apples and oranges, my guy. One was a stupid kid who didn’t know how much damage he was doing and the other knew exactly what she was doing and kept doing it (while having mood swings about how she felt about it, but that was more on Cassie and how she decided to write Grace). 

I’m really glad Cassie spent so much time highlighting how much damage Grace and the bracelet had done, because yeah, like you said, a lot of people in this fandom didn’t see what happened to James as something horrific or were a little too quick to forget because Kit and grace had a cute scene together.

anyway, everytime I “hate on”/criticize Grace I get a ton of dm/asks saying that I don’t understand her character, but I do. I really do. It's just like Cassie said, Grace is the embodiment of explanation not an excuse. And since she knew damn well what she was doing and kept doing it to other people, I cannot bring myself to like her or even feel bad for her. 

So this is a PSA to everyone who wants to say I blame the victim or something. everytime you say that I’m gonna respond with this image:

[mrrightandmrbubble]

I hope you’re doing well XO

Hi, hello, I still exist though my blog upkeep would say otherwise. It's been a minute. That's really sweet that you 1) thought of me and 2) wanted to check in. I start to type up something about last year but keep abandoning it because how do you casually introduce that to people's timelines?

So, yeah, ripping off the Band-Aid (putting behind a read-more in case of triggers):

Someone tried to kill me. Well, not just someone, a now-former housemate who I thought was a friend. I still don't understand what lead to it and I don't know if I ever will, because they swing between "nothing happened" and "but if something did, it's her fault" (the O.J. defense). They were removed kicking and screaming from the house by police, and a provisional APVO was served that night with the provision that they must not come within 50 metres of any place where I live or work. It's already had a few court mentions, which I didn't have to attend, but an actual hearing has been adjourned to my birthday this year (happy fucking birthday to me) upon which I expect i'll be called to give my evidence. Charges include: Armed with intent to commit serious indictable offense, destroy/damage property, intimidation, common assault, and intentional choking. They're pleading not guilty on the grounds of mental health, but pull the other one. They had awareness and intent, and the ability to understand the events and make different choices in real-time - such as putting down the knife and saying to the other housemate who was trying to keep me safe, "The only reason i'm not killing her is because you're here".

They tracked down CC (after i'd shared that shit heap of a situation with them) to try and dig for dirt to use against me. They sent the other housemate messages and accusations through her via text for a few months, until the other housemate moved out and blocked them on everything. Some continued willful actions.

Once the property recovery order was finally sorted, they sent a family member and their partner to collect their belongings, and it became obvious rather quickly that they have not been honest with anyone about what they did. The fact that they refused my initial proposal of having a mutual friend do the collection supports that. Not that them acknowledging it would provide any kind of validation or resolution - they've bent over backwards to avoid taking responsibility for themselves since i've known them. But it's that which worries me re: how the hearings could go. I have to prepare myself for the likelihood that they won't face any natural consequences for their actions. The mentions so far have been more concerned with their wellbeing than mine. I haven't been contacted by anyone in months. If it eventuates that they get to go on their merry way, i'm not sure yet how I would respond.

At least the Department of Justice has been amazing, approving an Immediate Needs Support Package to fund a complete security overhaul for the premises. My GP also referred me to a psychologist while the local Domestic Violence Court Advocacy Service applied to VOCAL (Victims of Crime Assistance League) on my behalf, though nothing's come of that yet. [EDIT: I just called to follow up and they seem to have lost me in the system, which is awesome but they can't all be winners.]

I wasn't seriously injured, thankfully, besides a chunk of my hair being pulled out (and subsequent blood) and cuts and bruises around my body.

As for my mental health, i'm...okay, I guess. That I knew I needed to quickly access support to mitigate development of PTSD probably saved me from being much worse. I had panic attacks and would replay the event like a video over and over for the first few months after it happened. I have occasional moments when I have trouble dealing with it and get real hard on myself, wishing they'd finished me off. But those moments, thankfully, do pass. Maintaining connection with friends and family, as a means of navigating the trauma recovery, hasn't been easy in recent months (will cover it in another post) but in fighting against my old instinct of avoiding asking for help, it serves as a reminder that there are places and people I can still trust and feel safe around. I've basically treated myself like a client and thought, "Ignore the lies your brain is trying to feed you - what would your best self do right now?"

I survived. I'm continuing to survive. That's the big takeaway.

[zenjestrr]

some of the characters I made in the Skyrim Nolvus Ascension mod

Auriela. altmer dual wielding spellblade. first character I realized I could modify with the new body slider. as such I gave her a Pixar mom body, obviously. and like giga tall. like her forehead touches the doorframe tall. like I have to sneak in order to fit thru some places tall lmao.

also I gave her glowing freckles

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this dude was made using the Sarpa - Beyond Skyrim: Argonia mod. for those that don't know, Argonians also have different subspecies like the Khajiit. bird-like Argonians are called Sarpa (they're an ESO creation, they never existed before that). I think this is a fan interpretation of how they'd look like and I think it's super cool. His name is Steals-Your-Spoons. fore roleplay purposes I am obligated to steal any spoon I come across. I won't be actively looking for them but I will have a drawer in one of my player homes that's just crammed with spoons because this name decided to come to me while showering lol. in combat, he's gonna be a frontline archer that uses summons and followers to tank instead of being a stealth archer because we've all played that style to death. this mod actually added an acrobatic archer playstyle that's really cool. you know that backflip scatter arrow move you can do in Dragon Age: Inquisition? yea that's possible here with this mod

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Kanaheda the bosmer. initially I planned on making her a stealth mage since the mod's new perk system allows for a stealth mage playstyle by giving magic attacks sneak damage......but then while messing with the CC I realized I could give her glowing body tattoos and then the plan changed. she's now a naked brawler. she literally just runs in there shrieking beating people into paste with her fists. cuz I wanna see the tats lol. this is supported cuz this mod brings back the Unarmored skill from Morrowind and the Hand-to-Hand skill from Daggerfall/Morrowind/Oblivion.

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Titania the breton. based her on my favorite paladin from the Fire Emblem series: Titania from Path of Radiance/Radiant Dawn

while in the overworld, I'll ride around on the horse and swing my axe around to replicate the FE cavalier playstyle. obv in dungeons and stuff I'll have to stick to being on foot but that's fine cuz I love the new battleaxe animations in this mod. very meaty

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Zenandrayda the dunmer. initially made her to be the stealth archer but since the new combat mechanics are more similar to Elden Ring I just decided to be a weapon + shield knight sort of character with her. 100% because I found this purple shield lmao. she also sprinkles in some illusion magic before fights.

oh and this mod adds bladestaffs to the game. they literally have the same moveset as staves do in Dragon Age 2/Inquisition

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Zen-Ma will be a pure mage most likely. her armor is the Ancient Argonian Armor made by 4thUnknown. I fell in love with this armor the moment I saw it. massive Twilight Princess Fused Shadow vibes + I love that Argonians get some love cuz they're probably my favorite race in the series

it doesn't come across in screenshots but the lights glow in and out (just like the Fused Shadow lol)

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Zenaida the redguard. might go back in the CC and change her body tattoos. the armor below is 4thUnknown's Mythic Dawn Armor.

I also made 2 Khajiit, a male Bosmer, and an Imperial lady but I don't have any screenshots of them. the character creator is insane so I'm probably gonna make like 20 more characters. the CC even has a sculptor feature so if you have the patience you can literally mold your character however you want.

[xitty]

Time to ramble. I saw again a post of someone having read Enstars stories and going “Eichi and Wataru are actually canon!? Wow” (I absolutely love people realizing this!) and that got me thinking again how nowadays it’s harder for fans to accept couples as canon unless there’s super explicit confirmation or a word of god. Ship tease is absolutely heavily played in JP media (talking about joseimuke now but elsewhere too) and a lot is left ambiguous for everybody stay happy (whether who they ship the characters with or wanting to leave some self-insert possibility even when it’s not an otome game). Western media still likes to queerbait (although it’s lessening) so western fans these days are so fixated on labeled representation that anything else isn’t “good enough” or worth calling canon. Wanting labels said aloud etc. is absolutely valid and important but that shouldn’t be only way of storytelling that matters and it sometimes swings so hard to the extreme.

I’ve said it before too, but certain characters in Enstars go beyond ship tease and/or crush tease so clearly. Let me compare the way it’s presented to… shoujo series side couples (especially series that aren't mainly a romance)! It's very similar. An example: Touya and Yukito from Cardcaptor Sakura. People agree they are a couple, yet in some parts it’s left for the reader to pick up. Sakura asks Yuki if the person he loves is her brother and he says yes. From Touya’s side it’s mostly implied plus the moment he saves Yuki by giving up his magic of course. And they just become a couple. Sure, CCS is meant for little girls, but actually, don’t you think it’s wonderful it has subtle storytelling like this and trust in readers’ ability even when the target demographic is middle-grade kids?

Why I say “fans nowadays” is because back when I got into manga and anime etc. there wasn’t so much this kind of “don’t say they are canon, it’s not canon *to me* because I read the characters *this way*”. People were happy there was stuff like Touya and Yuki on page/screen (not every series/show/game was good with its content/representation but that’s a different discussion). Fiction calls for interpretation of course and people can find different meanings in the same thing and that’s beautiful, but people are much quicker to disvalue what’s in text if it’s not extremely plainly spelled out. Heteronormativity plays a part but I won’t go more into that now. I’m may sound like old fart saying everything used to be better but no, not everything, but some things yes. Some other things are absolutely better now and it’s a good thing.

So, hell yes Eichi and Wataru are canon. And you can say so. They are just one example but a good one.

[branw3lls]

cp2 thoughts!

-i’m stressed!!!!! theres no chain of gold audiobook available at any of the 3 libraries i’m a member of and it’s gonna take me too long to read during the week. i want to read CoT when it comes out, i am so bad about staying offline when i know there are spoilers but i want to give myself time to process my re-read. tlh books are so fucking long! thankful but i’m stressed!

- again listened to the audiobook and forgot it’s daniel sharman of teen wolf fame lol but he’s very good! was he another will fancast of the time? does not sing the irish ballads but he has a very nice voice and does all the accents well. does will with a welsh accent, you gotta love it

-this book this book this book. it’s gut punch after gut punch

“though i am the consul and lead the clave, it seems very much to me that this will go down as the time as charlotte branwell, and my legacy will be lost.” WELL! 

-consul wayland’s turn is still very abrupt to me, at least how it escalates from clockwork prince. he really turns to comically evil and i feel like we’re getting that with bridgestock. bridgestock has been much more straightforwardly a dick and but still. god will she ever catch a break 

-curse-less will is so heartbreaking and wonderful to see. makes me love dad!will even more. he’s just a goofy guy 

-‘that is what it means to be consul, charlotte’ i really think chain of thorns is going to put charlotte into more duty over family/loved ones whether that’s lucie being charged w something for necromancy or the inquisitor learning about matthew’s secret and forcing her hand in front of everyone to have him punished and to hurt her. i don’t think she’d punish either of them but i do think it’s going to be put in front of her. she will always bend the law for the ones she loves but how long/to what degree is she able to do that and still be consul. i’m scared!!!!!!!

-‘even his tufts of ginger hair radiating anxiety and love’ charlotte and henry showing small little affection towards each other makes any onlooker have to look away from them almost every time. their power

-can’t believe cecily is only in one book and is still such a big presence. gabrily forever! they fucking rock. charlotte gave gabriel one comforting hug and he said ok actually, i would die for you queen 

-i love these siblings and i love that tlh is even more about siblings and families

-charlotte interrupting literally every couple’s tender moments by abruptly swinging the library door open. i can’t imagine the institute after clockwork princess, too many couples, everyone had to be secretly making out in corridors constantly

-gewgaws!! gideon writing these letters to the consul about charlottes fake spending habits is soooo funny. lucie needs to ask her uncle gideon to be her editor

-mortmain is a fun villain. it’s almost scarier that he’s just a mortal human man who has twisted technology and dark magic and created something more sinister than a supernatural villain would and his motivations are all very tragic. i like exploring more of the downworlder tension/ shadowhunter relations and how that’s always an undercurrent of all these series

-bridget daly what the hell are you, sister

-the cadair idris battle scene kills me every time every time! “i am not mad! he is alive! he is alive and i will not leave him!” henry and charles both have been brought back from the brink of death by warlock magic and if charlotte has to also hold matthew while he’s injured and dying, i’ll lose it. no more gravely injured fairchilds! 

-it does feel like this book has about 6 different endings but i kind of always love that about tsc books. the big climax/battle is almost in the middle of the book and there’s plenty of fallout. like as much as there will always be angst and people we love dying, cc will always give us so many small sweet scenes as a balm. not that CoT will end happy per say but that’s a long fucking book. christmas at the institute is so so beautiful and i am dreading this christmas party at the institute where ‘terrible things happens”

-do you think callida fairchild died at the clockwork attack at the council meeting

-the god damn epilogue....nothing has messed me up quite the same way since. traumatizing truly. herongreystairs really is something else.  tessa leaving really makes me cry cry cry.  i know will’s death scene is not to be referenced for any tlh outcome anymore but “fairchild sons and daughters with curling red hair like henry’s had once been” i choose to believe this not referencing henry being dead but actually henry’s hair is just grey at that point

[thedovahcat]

Gorillas and the Barely Touched Transference of Credits

Finally went over to the student login page to see what on my transcript counted towards GEs. Shockingly or not, only 4 classes out of my whole degree were transferable towards the GE’s.

On one hand I’m not too shocked, and on the other I sort of am. Looking over it again, I’m going to have to ask an advisor about at least one or two of them, any class I can get knocked off will be immensely helpful. What I really am bummed about is my Geometry class not transfering but...For the best really. I’m practicing maths right now so that will take care of that.

I’ll need to schedule that math-English-grammar assessment test thing soon, I took a practice test just to gauge where I’m at right now and I scored 80% so, not bad! Just gotta keep periodically doing it and re-taking it.

AND I got a 100% on my quiz and unit test for math today earlier this morning. Overall the day’s been pretty all right! I just feel overwhelmed at how much is happening so fast and needing to go from 0 to 100 with all these paper signings and preparings and what have you.

Dad asked me again today if I’m sure I don’t want to just put the money I’m spending towards my mental health assessment into college again, but I stood firm on that. I’m still really nervous that I’m going to be brushed off and told I’m as normal as they come. Cuz then it really WILL feel like a waste, but, talking with some mutuals really helps me a lot. They’re able to tell me what they know/offer advice and reassure that I’m not just faking all this for attention. It’s such a hard thing to grasp and now I understand why people struggle so much with it. This is all new territory for me so... yeah. It’s just wild.

FAFSA is kind of a bust this year because I worked two years ago but I expected that unfortunately, and no word on the scholarships yet. Money really frightens me right now but I’m absolutely against loans at the moment. I have enough to swing it but it’s going to hurt. Still, you put in a fair chunk of money going to school in hopes you’ll be able to make it all back and more later on.

I’m really nervous about all the studying that lies ahead. After counting everything I’ll be in CC for at least 2 years just plowing through GE’s, which will be nothing but busy work for me. That much I’m certain of. So...the next two years at minimum are decided for me, generally speaking. I don’t know, I still somehow feel like...a sense of dread about it. Like I’m wasting my time, but I’m absolutely -not!-. Mostly a big fear I have is by the time I get out of school and get into work, the pets are going to start keeling over just like when I graduated college and got my first job. I only got to enjoy a few months of that before everyone started like...dying to disease around here. Tato’s going to be 6 years old this February and I’m glad he’s doing well! Him and Riley are both being taken care of so much more carefully and more prompt..ly.. than the other two were. Not that we didn’t care, but we didn’t know! First time long-time cat owners and all. Now we’ve learned. I hope they’re both around for a long long time and get to see the days when I have a good job and everything is going well!

So there’s that.. Every day that goes by too I’m able to hide less and less in my video games and that’s really scary for me as well. Things are starting to ‘lose their color’ if you would, I’m just...bored. And I don’t want to be bored, but there’s nothing I can do about it. I’ve talked about this kind of thing before. And like I’ve told myself, this is the low point right now, the preparation, the quiet. Once all this is set up and I actually start, things will be on the up again. They always are. I hope me and my friends are all in better places and still alive by that point in time certainly!

In some other minor, brighter news, I just have my new motherboard to recieve in the mail before I can start putting in the new parts into my computer! I’ve been needing to beef this thing up, it’s 7 years old now. And if I’m diving into computers, yeah, that was a necessary and good decision. Need to stop by Best Buy tomorrow. I should probably get a webcam.

So...just gotta wait for Wednesday mental assessment now! And see how I feel after that. I really really want to open commissions and right now I’m expecting to after that’s all taken care of! If I need more time to recover though of course. I’m going to give myself that time. Learning to give myself time away from things and forcing myself to preoccupy my time and attention with more important and usually often IRL things has been a learning experience. I can’t say I’m crazy about it, but... You gotta do what you gotta do.

Anyway! A little status report...a long status report. But, today things are OK. Thank god.

[princess-of-the-corner]

Any thoughts on how Mic & Aizawa got together in CC? Like, did they start dating in high school? After they graduated? Was there a painful pining phase that made all their friends want to kill them?

OH GOD SO LIKE

I hinted before that it was a poly thing with them and Oboro(who was probs the one who asked them out if Midnight didn't watch them all pining and smack them upside the head) and like.

They did get together in high school and that was mostly just some normal pining and such but also due to the Oboro situation that went sideways for a bit.

Oboro's death kinda. Hit them hard in different ways and swung between finding comfort in each other but more often than not it was just. A lot. For them to be with each other.

Mic is handling things.... decently. He's more bottling everything up and it /will/ come out one day but he's just kinda trying his best to move forward while Aizawa is kinda lost in grief. And that does kinda fuck them up because Mic is upset that Aizawa doesn't seem to be trying to make progress while Aizawa's in the 'how dare you try to move on' thing. (neither are right or wrong here but god do they need therapy)

They didn't explicitly break up, but they weren't exactly together anymore.

And then I'm like. I'm speedrunning Aizawa's character development so that a lot of it happened pre-Canon of him like. Coping by overcompensating. Pushing himself too hard. And eventually taking out his anger on people who aren't pushing themselves to the same unhealthy extent in the same unhealthy ways

Ms. Joke was kinda the first target in this, given her entire persona is about being goofy and all so when given close proximity... but she's also got thick skin and is a determined motherfucker and is like "I can fix him!" (baby girl please your taste in men is awful)

This continues for a while and even into Aizawa's first year as a UA teacher where he just starts randomly expelling any student he feels isn't extremely dedicated and taking it seriously. Which is, ultimately, all of his students within the first like month. Because they're dumbass 15 year olds who are mostly trauma-free ofc they're gonna good off and not buckle down and be serious all the goddamn time.

Nezu is like 'look I love some chaos as much as anyone else HOWEVER you need to get your shit together because I can't have you expelling literally all of your students. PLEASE get therapy!'.

Which does piss Aizawa off for a bit. Because he's heavily projecting. He lost someone. Any of them could die at any moment they need to take this seriously and prepare for it! They're here to be Heroes not have fun! Not taking things seriously will get them killed!

This does swing back around to Ms. Joke who does end up snapping at him of just like a 'god don't you get it? People have to have fun and goof off and be fuckin happy sometimes or else they're absolutely miserable and probably just want to die!'(she might like being silly and all but humor is /also/ a coping mechanism for her)

And it's.... yeah just her snapping and pointing that out does kinda. Hit. In having him realize that 'oh I'm very much Not Okay™'.

Which gets him to actually get his ass some therapy so he can help process the grief and the whole like. You're allowed to take a break, you're allowed to be happy and do things that aren't serious when you don't have to be on the job you don't have to be paranoid 24/7 that someone else you love is gonna fuckin drop.

After a bit of this he does meet up with Mic again to talk on just. Everything. Kind of apologize. Mic def hits his own breaking point here too. And they need to do a bit of work but GOD do they miss each other.

Slowly but surely they work on themselves and each other and by the time of CC they've gotten to the point where they're married now and while they still have some hiccups they're a hell of a lot better.

ofc we get the added 'oh hey your dead boyfriend is actually alive but was kidnapped, experimented on, given amnesia, and has been forced into villainy for the last 10+ years and for bonus points he's a dilf now' drama later

[fwacata]

SUNDAY FUNDAY: We all knew this day would come, Algernon

You got to swing from one vine to another in this concrete jungle, if not Babylon eats you. LET'S GO

Everglades National Park. This image by National Park Service is licensed under CC-CC0 1.0 HELLO from the triangle of Bermuda, aka Miami, aka the 305 aka Depingaville, population ME. It been actually COLD this week though I suspect this is ruse by the fireball in the sky that wants KILL US. Already this week I felt the “oh Fuck it’s getting hot” moments like when you force sweat to stay cool,…

[sublimeobservationarcade]

Golf: A Rich and Rewarding Game

A very tiny proportion of golfers play for lots of prize money and accrue lucrative sponsorships to boot. This is the reward in a highly materialistic society, where elite sportspeople and sales people earn huge amounts of money. Golf: A rich and rewarding game for those at the pointy end of tournament golf. Manufacturers and associated businesses can also reap good returns on their investments within the game and industry. The rewards for the vast majority of golfers, however, is within the actual game itself. The playing of golf as a recreational pursuit delivers a highly engaging experience for millions around the world.

Golfers vintage drawing by The British Library is licensed under CC-CC0 1.0

Golf’s Dominion Grips Us

The challenging and at times frustrating nature of golf hooks a certain type of individual. We are gripped, good and proper, by the demands of the game itself upon our abilities and mental fortitude. The enormous arena upon which golf is played makes for an enigma-like multitude of possibilities. The fact that we employ 14 different clubs to play a small, dimpled ball provides further opportunities for triumph and disaster. The golfer is hardly ever bored by the proceedings, as he or she wends their way around the course. The rewards are both awesome and awful.

Hazlehead , 9 hole golf course by Lizzie is licensed under CC-BY-SA 2.0 Golf Consumers or Conquistadors? Most of us reside in urban settings within substantial metropolises and are part of a populous army of consumers. We consume the adventures of our golfing heroes and the gear they sport. Some of us dream of occasionally playing golf at a rarefied level in the shadow of these superstars. The reality of chunked and duffed shots is far more graceless and prosaic. Despite this we tread the links in search of golfing glory amid our hum drum lives. To swing with gay abandon and find the fairway, some fair way down, is a pretty, bloody, good feeling. This happens all too infrequently for the majority of us. If golf was easy a great many of us would not bother. Think of Seve, when you ask the question of yourself – golf consumer or conquistador? Remember to savour the good moments out on the course, as they can dissipate all too quickly. Take a brief respite from the grinding demands of keeping score every now and then. Let yourself smile at a well-executed stroke on the way around the course. Enjoy a few deep breaths of clean air amid mother nature’s greenkeeper tended enclave. Smell the roses, as they say. See the beauty of your golfing realm to put things in perspective and to lift your head above the trenches. We can do these things and play good golf.

Photo by Centre for Ageing Better on Pexels.com If you always focus on your score, you will be a miserable bastard. Nobody wants to play golf with these fellow travellers, as the ambience is less than ideal. Four plus hours in a microcosm with three other golfers deserves a little light and shade. A few laughs and smiles makes the temporal investment a much richer experience no matter the result. The technical requirements of the golf swing can be a dry affair. The repetitive nature of the game can do with some spicing up on occasion. The madness of golf’s introspective journey can be alleviated by good company and the camaraderie between players. Golf: A rich and rewarding game, measured not in dollars but in sense. Good sense for the workings of the human body descended from apes. Swing our monkey bodies and get off of your arse. Walk the course if you can. Breath fresh air and take in your sweet surroundings. Gary Player always said never sit down during a competitive round of golf. Stand up and fight it out until the very end and that last putt falls. Robert Sudha Hamilton is the author of The Golf Book: Green Cathedral Dreams. ©GolfDom Read the full article

[sunflowerdaisybee]

could you do cc!sapnap x male reader (romantic) where the reader comes home from a family event that wasn’t too good and is just exhausted and sapnap takes care of him ^__^ thank you!!

Ah I totally felt this one, being around my family (any member really) is so draining and I just wanna crawl into bed with my cat and sleep for a week lol, anyways I know this is late but I hope you enjoy anyways! :]

Pairing: Sapnap X Reader

Pronouns: None used but male intended

[A/n]: Requests are open! Feel free to swing by :]

You blinked slowly as you unlocked the door, your key jamming and getting stuck as you tiredly tried to tug it free. The last thing you need was your door blocking you from getting into your home and getting some rest, especially after dealing with your family all day. That isn’t to say you hate your family, it’s just that family gatherings with them, or generally spending extended periods of time with them, can be exhausting and generally shitty. Thankfully you got to come home to the warm embrace of your bed and the even warmer hold of your boyfriend.

“(Y/n), hey!” Sapnap had been waiting for you by the door, having heard your struggle with your keys and approaching to greet you. His cheery greeting was meant to be followed with even brighter questions, but seeing how you were in the current moment, he decided to hold off. “Everything ok?” He approached you slowly, pulling you gently into a hug as the door swung closed behind you. Sapnap knew everything wasn’t ok, with how quickly you sunk into his arms, your limbs wrapping around him and hands grasping at his shirt, it was obvious. Everything about you clearly stated how you were feeling, tired, and done with today.

As expected, your response was nothing more than a grumble of how your family sucks and how you missed him, the usual response given when you were forced to be around family.

“Why don’t you take your shoes off and go change into some comfy clothes? I’ll grab some snacks and set the bed up with your favorite blankets and pillows ok?” You nodded, slowly letting Sapnap go after holding him another moment. Taking off your shoes and changing was easy, waiting for Sapnap was not. You had been apart from him all day and wanted so desperately to cuddle him, to lay in bed with him as he chatted mindlessly about some new game he started playing or a new idea he had for a stream. You could listen to Sapnap talk for hours, especially when you weren’t in the mood to talk.

“All comfy and cozy?” Walking into the room, arms full of snacks and drinks, was your beloved boyfriend. He made quick work of the snacks, setting them up in a place where you could reach them without them being in the way or anything, his next job being blankets and pillows. Most of those had already been on the bed, as he liked to lay with them when you were gone, but a few had been stored so as to not crowd the bed. All of these were tossed not at you, but on the bed and in your general direction.

“Sap,” You hadn’t meant to whine at him like that but you really had missed him, asking for him to hurry with only a brief call of his name. He, of course, understood and did his best to pick up the pace, collecting up everything he had thrown and settling it around you. He then settled himself in beside you, smiling as you instantly clung to him.

“Mm, I missed you today. I actually got so bored without you here that I started looking for new games and,” Sapnap started off on the long, mostly one-sided, chat you had expected. Occasionally you would pipe up with some words or a hum in response but you mostly focused on his voice, allowing it to relax all your tense muscles and thoughts.

Sapnap didn’t mind how the conversation ran, he knew you would be drained after such an event and that you’d speak about it when you were ready. He had grown accustomed to comforting you in such manners whenever you’d return from particularly bad family outings, and he knows you’d do the same for him if need be.

Taglist: (if you’d like to be tagged for fics just let me know!)

[retroaria]

Sapnap: Fluff Alphabet

cc!Sapnap x reader

pronouns: gender neutral

warnings: just swearing

here’s my 500 Follower Event ^o^

A is for Affection (How do they like to show affection?)

sapnap would give you so many compliments omg. he loves making you all smiley and blushy :) he just wants to make sure that you are always aware of the fact that he thinks you’re the most perfect thing to ever exist

B is for Bond (What kind of bond do you guys have? What could your relationship be labeled as?)

the best friend couple!!! sapnap tells you literally everything. any drama going on or any strong emotions he’s feeling, you know about it. most of the time, the second something happens his brain immediately goes “omg i have to tell y/n”. you guys always complain about the same things and get excited over the same things. you are genuinely one of the most important people in his life and he doesn’t know how he’d do it without you.

C is for Comfort (How do they comfort their s/o?)

he will literally drop everything just to hold you and not speak for like hours if you so needed. he strikes me as a naturally comforting person to the people he really cares about so I say he gets an A+ in this department

D is for Dates (What are dates with them like?)

dates with sapnap are either really chill or super fun. he’s the type of guy that would take you to play laser tag or to an arcade or a trampoline park. he’s like a little kid i love sapnap :3

E is for Emotions (How do they express their emotions around you?)

he’s a pretty expressive person when it comes to certain things. at the very least he definitely wears his heart on his sleeve a little so it isn’t hard to tell even if he does try hiding stuff. and like I said he tells you everything.

F is for Fiancé (How long into the relationship before they propose?)

I feel like he’s so young and he really just wouldn’t be thinking about that too seriously for awhile. like he loves you and you guys have talked about having a future together but he isn’t in any rush at all. hell just do it when he feels is the right time not matter how long it takes.

G is for Gentle (Are they gentle?)

it depends on the situation. he’s definitely the type of guy to pick you up from a super comfy position and just body slam you on the bed. but if he can tell you’re not in the mood to play around like that he’ll just sit down and hold you, so yeah he can be gentle. but most of the time be prepared for playful fist fights and getting picked up and thrown every now and then lol.

H is for Hand Holding (How do they like hand holding?)

sapnap always holds your hand. in fact he makes an effort to search for it whenever you aren’t holding hands. and sometimes he’ll even get whiny about it especially with like a lot of people around he’ll be like, “babe, why aren’t you holding my hand :( what if I get lost how are you gonna find me this place is big”

I is for I Love You (Who said “I love you” first?)

he did !! the first time sapnap said “I love you” was probably one of his most confident moments. he was so proud to be able to say it and so sure of himself and his feelings for you.

J is Jealousy (Do they get jealous?)

YES OH MY GOD. he gets super jealous and it’s so easy to tell omg. his attitude starts to get like super bad and he is very clearly annoyed by the situation. he won’t ever be too overbearing about it and if you ever feel like he is once you sit him down and explain that he’ll back off a bit. but he’s still gonna be bothered by it so just always remind him that he love him and no one else.

K is for Kiss (What’s kissing them like?)

THIS IS THE FIRST TIME IM ACTUALLY GOING TO BE DESCRIPTIVE SO IM SORRY IF ITS CRINGE. anyways, he’d be a pretty deep kisser but not like full on making out every single time. he just likes to make them last and he isn’t one to just give you random kisses all throughout the day so it always feels special. kissing him makes you feel all warm and happy inside.

L is for Love Language (What’s their love language?)

sapnaps love language is quality time or acts of service!! i’d say mainly quality time. even while long distance he just likes having you on call while he does stuff or even just complaining to you about how tired he is while actively not going to bed so he can keep talking to you lol. he just likes having you around it’s a huge comfort for him. i say acts of service because he would get so giddy and happy anytime you did something special for him. he would show it off and brag about it forever and it would genuinely mean so much to him aahhajdxh i love sapnap

M is for Memories (Their favourite memory with their s/o?)

For your first time seeing each other irl, sapnap flew to where you live and you guys spent a whole week together. his favorite memories are definitely from that first week of seeing each other in person. of course you guys already had an amazing relationship while long distance, but there’s something so different about finally meeting the person you’re with in real life. it felt like he had to start over from scratch and you guys had to get to know each other all over again. also the idea of now having to build a physical bond. it was just such an amazing and beautiful experience. definitely the one that made him realize he really is in love with you.

N is for Nicknames (Their favourite nicknames given and received?)

IM SO BAD AT THINKING OF CUTE NAMES USHSJDH. probably just babe tho lol. for fem!readers, i can totally picture him using princess in a slightly sarcastic tone.

O is for Open (At what point do they start opening up to you about their life and feelings?)

mmm i’d say he actually starts opening up to you pretty early into the relationship. If you guys were like really close friends before hand he’s definitely already opened up to you. He doesn’t really have that many people in his life that he doesn’t trust.

P is for PDA (Are they into PDA?)

not really but he isn’t like super shy about it if that makes sense ??? like he’s 100% fine with hand holding, hugging, and light pecks when saying hello or goodbye.

Q is for Quiz (How much do they remember about you?)

I don’t think he really tries to remember stuff but he just does and he’s always making connections to you and things he sees and stuff it’s so cute :)

R is for Romantic (How romantic are they?)

he tries but he isn’t exactly the most romantic boy. like I said before you guys have a best friend type of connection so when it comes to romance he doesn’t go too above and beyond because he just doesn’t feel like he needs to. but on special occasions he will do something nice for you. He likes taking you out places !!

S is for Security (How protective/possessive are they?)

very much of both. once again, total sapnap vibes. i’d say he’s a lot more possessive than protective. he would never stop you from doing things like going out without him and having guy friends or making flirty jokes. he trusts you so much partly cus he’s a little narcissistic LMAO. but when a serious threat comes about he can get kinda crazy.

T is for Try (How much effort do they put into the relationship?)

GAAAAAA HE PUTS SO MUCH EFFORT IN!! you would probably be like his first ever serious partner so he would try his best at literally everything. in the beginning of the relationship you could totally tell how nervous he was at times but as you guys got more comfortable he just became an effortlessly amazing bf

U is for Uphold (How do they show you they’re proud? What kind of support do they give you?)

he talks about you so muchjahsjxjxh mostly to dream and george or on stream and he brags about you too. he can get pretty cocky about it but his friends can’t get mad because it’s literally adorable how whipped he is.

V is for Vaunt (Do they like to show off?)

YES OF COURSE !!! it’s sapnap guys…come on. literally any little accomplishment you make is turned into a way bigger deal than it should be because of him. he’s so proud of for literally just existing and he talks about all the cool stuff you’ve done all the time

W is for Wild Card (A random fluff headcanon.)

you guys really like going to different food places and eating different items compared to other places. THIS IS SO RANDOM LMAOO but like…sapnap would definitely have fun doing that

X is for X-ray (How well can they read you and your emotions/feelings?)

mmm he can usually tell if you’re acting strange or being distant. he cant always figure out exactly what’s wrong but he knows it’s something and he would confront you about it like almost immediately or whenever he thought would be a good time for you

Y is for Yearning (How much do they miss their s/o when they’re gone?)

he literally talks about you non stop when you’re apart. and when you guys are on the phone he comes up with all these plans for you guys to do when you see each other again and he always wants you to join vc on his streams if you can. in conclusion he misses you like crazy

Z is for Zebra (What kind of pet would they want with their s/o?)

A CAT!! or like a bearded dragon lol.

IM SO SORRY IVE BEEN GONE FOR LIKE TWO WEEKS HAGSKDHD

school is literally kicking my ass so hard man 😔

i’m gonna try to write more, working on a karlnap weed fic rn too LMAO

I’m taking a major creative writing class rn so between writing for school and writing for tumblr i am so drained but i promise i’ll get back into the swing of things soon :)

love you guys, thank you for everything and stay safe <333

@crackityy @fantasy-innit @joyfullymulti @k-l-a-w-s