#which depending on how quickly i write could be as long as another MONTH of work

[leviscolwill]

adore

pairing: bsf!jude x fem!reader

summary: you adored your friendship with jude, but sometimes you wished things weren't so complicated between the two of you. [wc: 3,2k]

contents: mostly angst ??? a few cute moments here and there bc i'm fluff girly thru and thru 🤞, they can't communicate to save their life, drunk jude, a random man being annoying, jude being a dumb fuck, language, did i miss anything ?

note: this wip has been rotting in my drafts for a couple of months, i hope you enjoy it because i really enjoyed writing it 🫶

now playing adore by cashmere cat & ariana grande...

"please don't leave me y/n... you don't understand, i need you here."

"jude, i'm literally going to the toilet. i'll be back in 5 minutes, now let me go."

your best friend had always been the clingy type whenever he'd reach his alcohol limit (which was usually only after a couple of drinks). but tonight he was practically glued to your side, not that you minded, you basically spent your whole life attached by the hip. but you had to admit, it hurt a bit to see the person you couldn't have, not in the way you wanted to have him, at least, act all lovey-dovey with you.

the nature of your relationship with jude was complex, to say the least. he was your best friend since you were kids and you wouldn't change that for the world. but the way he looked at you sometimes made you yearn for something more, or whenever his touches on your shoulder or your waist would linger a bit too long to be friendly. maybe it was your mind playing tricks on you, after all, the chances of jude wanting you the way you wanted him were very low, not to mention the fact you led two different lives. but it didn't matter, you could manage to live and long for him with the hope that one day you could be more than a best friend to him. and this thought was all you needed to face him and his sparkly eyes for the rest of the night.

when you got out of the bathroom, your mind was still full of thoughts of your relationship with jude running in your mind. you were so engrossed in your thoughts that you bumped into a man's chest, not really being careful about your surroundings.

"i'm sorry, i wasn't looking." you quickly apologise to him, you were already on your way to your friends before the man grabbed your wrist, quickly letting it go.

"it's okay sweetheart, can i get your name as an apology ?" you cringed at his poor attempt at flirting with you, but you weren't feeling confrontational tonight.

"i'm-"

"y/n !" jude's voice made your head turn in surprise.

"you were gone for so long i almost forgot what your beautiful face looked like." he said smashing his face on your shoulder.

"is that your boyfriend?"

"ummm, no he's my-"

"depends who's asking." jude interrupted you, side-eyeing the nameless man.

"jude. i can speak for myself." the look he gave you broke your heart a bit, his lips pouting in sadness.

"if he is not your boyfriend, i'd gladly take your number, might even take you back to my hotel room..." it was obvious to everyone around that the situation was uncomfortable for you, that familiar feeling of disgust you always got when a man was being too friendly creeping on you.

"who do you think you are?" your best friend stared at the man with a frown on his face.

"jude, let's not..." the tension between the two men was evident as people stopped to stare at whatever was happening.

"relax mate, i just wanna talk to your friend nothing more." the stranger grabbed your wrist, still looking at jude, testing him, testing how far he would go to stop this.

"let me go." you didn't have to try getting away from him because jude did it for you.

the nameless guy suddenly let you go, and seeing him hold his jaw while screaming profanities at your best friend was all you needed to understand what just happened. jude punched him, but the alcohol in his veins prevented him from dodging the punch that came straight for his eyebrow.

immediately you took jude's arm before he found another idea to mess up your night some more, and walked out of the packed club for some air. you ordered a uber for the two of you and texted your friends that you were getting home early.

even fresh air couldn't rid you of the anger that coursed through your body. of course, you were mad at the man who couldn't keep his hands to himself. but another part of you couldn't help but be pissed at jude and his impulsive behaviour. but when you looked at him and saw blood trickle down from his eyebrow, everything was suddenly forgotten and you could only worry.

"fuck you're bleeding, why didn't you tell me? fuck, fuck, fuck." you searched through your bag for a tissue, mentally cursing yourself for how messy it was, and handed one to jude.

"just didn't wanna bother you..." he mumbled, holding it to his wound.

you both waited for the uber in complete silence, you knew you needed to have a conversation with jude about what just happened but you'd do it tomorrow, when he was sober and when your judgement wouldn't be clouded by anger.

thankfully, your uber didn't take too long to arrive, you helped jude put his seatbelt on after watching him struggle with it for a good minute. the atmosphere was tense and it seemed the driver felt it so he didn't try to make conversation with any of you.

you were halfway to your destination when you felt jude's fingers brush against yours lightly. you took a glance at where your hand lay, on the middle seat, jude's hand was right next to yours and when you looked at him he was suddenly entranced by his shoes, busy pretending it never happened.

you were sick of him acting like a child, so you held his hand, since he obviously wouldn't do it himself. the rest of the drive was silent but the atmosphere was peaceful, a nice change from the club.

you let go of jude's hand once you arrived at the villa you rented with your group of friends. you immediately took jude to the bathroom to clean his cut, he looked like a child while you were gathering the material you needed, mumbling words to himself with a frown on his face.

"is it gonna hurt?"

"probably not." these were the first words you exchanged since the club, the uneasy atmosphere of the room wasn't one you were used to whenever you were with jude. he was the one person who could understand you the best in the world, but it just wasn't the case tonight.

"can you hold my hand?" it was like he turned four again. but you couldn't deny anything from him, especially not when his eyes were glassy from all the drinks he had, so you took jude's hand in yours.

you started cleaning the cut, fully focused on your task, trying your best not to be distracted by the way your faces were inches from each other's.

"you're so pretty..."

if there was one thing you knew about drunk jude, it was that had loose lips. he couldn't keep any secret from you whenever he had the right amount of alcohol in his veins, and that often worked in your favour, but right now his words were only distracting you from your job.

"don't say that..." your heart was racing both at his words and at the proximity you two shared.

"i mean it." he was tracing your jaw with his fingers. you felt your hand quiver at the unexpected contact, and afraid you might mess something up because of jude, you quickly put a bandage on top of his, now clean, cut.

you started tidying up everything you used and expected jude to go to his room but he didn't budge.

"what's wrong?" you were a bit worried his injury was more serious than you thought and his brain was just working a bit slower than usual.

"kiss it better... please?" he said pointing at his bandage with a kissy face.

you were torn between kissing or slapping some sense into the boy standing in front of you. jude bent down so your face was in front of his, you obliged because you knew hammered jude would not have let you go to bed before you kissed him better. not because you wanted to, of course.

he was still unmoved, looking deep into your eyes so you took his hand in yours and led him to his bedroom for him to get a good night of sleep.

once you got jude to his bedroom safely, which wasn't an easy task given how starstruck he was at every little everyday thing in the house, he threw himself on his bed and grumbled something about clothes, before taking off his shirt with no prior notice. you immediately looked at your feet to give him some privacy while he changed clothes. he only giggled at your action saying he knows how much you would like to watch undress. which wasn't true, of course.

you took a quick peek, to make sure he was under his sheets. handing him a glass of water once he had his sheets pulled up to his chin and a content look on his face.

"no thanks, i'm not hungry."

"this is a glass of water?" you were perplexed at jude's words. the fatigue of your body preventing you from trying to understand his nonsense.

"well, i'm not hungry for water." you sighed at his childlike behaviour and considered shoving the water down his throat at some point before retracting, not really wanting to deal with the homicide of one the most in-demand football players of the moment.

you placed the glass on his bedside table and walked towards the door, unwilling to talk to a very drunk jude when all your body asked for was a good night of sleep.

but you couldn't ignore jude calling your name in a tired voice. you turned around to listen to whatever he had to say to you, only for him to beckon you closer with his hand. you rolled your eyes but still obliged, sitting on the unoccupied side of his bed.

"i just wanted to know why you were mad at me tonight." you didn't want to have this conversation tonight, but it seemed jude had other plans.

"because even if your intention was right, i think we could've solved the issue with no fits of screaming and fighting. i know you meant right but you can't just act without thinking all the time." you weren't even sure jude was registering your words properly, his eyes moving up and down your face.

"but i was mad at him too, he kept talking to my girl as if i wasn't right there." although jude was hardly convincing by the way the words came out of his mouth all slurred, you had to admit him calling you his girl put a faint smile on your face.

you thought your best friend was done but he just kept right on.

"fuck, you don't even know how many times i wished i was your boyfriend to stop these men looking at you that way. i mean i wished i was your boyfriend all the time, but especially then and also when you show me whoever you're talking to, you really have a vile taste in men y'know."

you looked at jude in total shock, he wasn't aware of what he just said from the way his face had the same drunken expression as before.

"do you mean it?" maybe he was pulling a prank on you. the look on his face didn't seem too serious, but then again he was drunk, how could you know how serious he was?

he laughed, how could he laugh in what was a very serious situation from your point of view?

"of course i mean it, sometimes it even looks like you want me too, maybe i just thought wrong. just tell me you don't want me, i reckon i could live with the fact i'm your best friend a bit longer." jude's nonsense somehow got even more nonsensical. how could he be saying all this with a smile on his face? even worse, how could he possibly think you didn't want him to be your boyfriend? you didn't even know what to say to him. hell, was there even a right thing to say in this exact situation?

"you can't do this to me jude... you can't just say this shit to me when you're drunk out of your mind. what do you expect me to say? i don't even know if you're aware of what you're telling me right now." words finally found their way out, your voice was much less cheery and much angrier than his as you felt a sense of injustice seeping through your veins. how could he say this to you like it was the simplest thing in the world? did he only love you when he was drunk? did he actually mean that, or was he over-exaggerating things under the influence?

"i love you and i loved you for a long time, please believe me, i know you're my best friend, and i don't want to ruin things between us... but i just needed to get this off my chest." jude was truly confused as to why you were so mad at him for this sudden 'confession'. of course, you didn't have to reciprocate his feelings, but he could only think about how he ruined your friendship for good from the way you responded so vehemently.

"goodnight jude." you left his room before he could add anything, and your thoughts were already running wild. you weren't sure if you should be feeling happy that he felt for you what you felt for him, or if you should be mad at jude for dropping this bomb on you so suddenly when he could clearly not think straight, making you doubt about the whole thing.

if you were overthinking before, your brain was now about to explode from everything that just happened in the span of an hour.

once you got under your sheets, no amount of sheep counting, lofi music, or breathing methods could put you to sleep. your brain was screaming at you, urging you to freak out about what just happened. every and each of your thoughts led back to jude, your own brain was torturing you, forcing you to separate truth from fiction at 3am.

you wished jude told you the truth, you wished his drunken words were his sober thoughts. but you didn't know how you were supposed to act like this never happened if this wasn't the case. how could you possibly come back to your little role, so well perfected over the years, of jude's best friend after he gave you the smallest glimpse of hope? your friendship with jude was the most important thing for you, but you wondered if you'd be able to pretend for the rest of your life or if you would go insane before that.

when sleep finally started taking over your endless train of thought, you came to the conclusion that if he meant what he said earlier, he'd have no issues telling you once he sobered up. you comforted yourself with this idea while your eyes closed by themselves, no more energy left in them to fight for the sake of overthinking.

jude had been avoiding you all day. the only time you exchanged an eye contact was during breakfast and even then he quickly went back to his room, not speaking a word to you. you could tell he was avoiding you like the plague, if he happened to be where you were he'd immediately flee the room, suddenly mesmerized by his phone.

you wished you were mad at him for how he was treating you and how he was making you feel, but the truth is, you could only focus on your heart breaking a little more each time he'd walk past you like you were two strangers.

after dining with the rest of your friends, you decided you were sick of jude's little games. if he didn't want to talk to you, then you would confront him whether he liked it or not.

it took you all the strength of the world to knock on his door after taking a deep breath.

no answer.

there was no way he knew it was you, you were sure of it. maybe he was just avoiding everyone tonight? you quickly refuted this idea, you saw him laugh with a couple of your friends half an hour ago.

you knocked again, a bit harsher this time to make sure he'd hear it. still nothing. you were preparing yourself to knock one more time, with much less hope than the first time.

"y/n, what are you doing?" yasmeen's voice startled you, it almost felt like getting caught doing something you shouldn't be doing.

"um... just needed to talk to jude, do you know where he is?" you couldn't help but feel embarrassed at the question. you were his best friend, if anyone should know where he was, that would be you. and your friend's dumbfounded look wasn't helping the heat creeping on your face right now.

"what do you mean? he left like an hour ago, had an unexpected meeting in london or something like that... he didn't tell you?"

it had been a very long time since you felt this way, maybe since middle school when your math teacher made fun of you in front of the whole class. your mouth suddenly drying, the sensation of your heart constricting, and your eyes stinging, trying their best not to let the sadness spill. it all felt like one big joke, you hoped jude would open the door, he'd tell you he was messing with you, he'd tell you everything he said last night again.

but that moment did not come. you couldn't answer yasmeen, afraid that the truth might spill along with your tears if you uttered a word. you simply shook your head, and went to your room, trying your best not to meet her eyes. your friends weren't blind, they could tell something was wrong between jude and you today, although none of them asked you what happened, they just kept a watchful eye on you and the way you looked at jude, in hopes he'd look back.

it felt good to cry in the privacy of your own room, far from the speculative conversation others were most likely having about the whole situation.

once your eyes were short of tears, you somehow found the strength to take your phone and click on your messages with jude to type a new one.

let's just keep doing what you did all day

i'll pretend you don't exist and last night never happened

probably best for us :)

[delululand]

enhypen (hyung line) in a relationship. astrological analysis (+ nsfw too)

astrology only shows the propensity for something and a lot depends on upbringing, influence of environment, cultural peculiarities of the country where a person grew up and other things.

p.s. since members have the same placement, some points can be repeated or written by one member with a connection to another member

heeseung

his venus is in virgo, which makes him practical and rational. such people can appreciate order, methodicality and structurality in life and in relationships. usually they are not inclined to show strong emotions, but at the same time they can be very attached to their partners. and we remember that at school heeseung liked one girl for 3 years, which indicates stability and affection even at a young age. and we don't know the exact time of his birth yet, so I can assume that his moon is also in virgo. he has many earthly positions in the natal chart and this once again emphasizes stability and rationality. sometimes these people can have a slightly inflated and idealized image of their partner and when they face reality it can be disappointing for them. this is just one possibility, but he liked a girl for 3 years and they only dated for 3 months. we don't know why this happened and of course it is worth considering that he was young and literally still was in school, but loving someone from a distance is much easier than building a relationship with a real person. so he may be a man who looks long before starting a relationship but may quickly become disillusioned once the relationship begins but if he does find the one, he will be very caring and loyal. actually when i think about his potential girlfriend, i come up with a slightly stereotypes image of the that girl who gets up early in the morning, does meditation, writes a plan for the day and necessarily follows him, monitors nutrition and all that which he could admire and achieve goals together

nsfw

• he is moon in virgo and he’ll literally monitors your every reaction to understand exactly what you like and what you don't like, to give you pleasure and see how you finish this is his biggest motivation

• moon in virgo really wants to hear praise from how well they did in bed otherwise they may be overthinking about it. so yeah hi praise kink

• people with earthly placement in mars/venus/moon (in his case venus in virgo) often tend to be the most generous in bed, they're all about providing his partner

• capricorn mars is all about that BDSM

jay

his venus is a taurus and this indicates a propensity for material security and comfort. he is a real hedonist, people with venus in taurus really love a good life and everything connected with it, such as buying beautiful things, delicious food, luxury and fashion (and actually sex ofс too, but more on that later). and we see these appearances very vividly in his personality. he loves to cook well, he is very interested in fashion, perfume and he even said that he would like to create his own clothing brand one day. when jungwon was asked about how jay would like it, he said that through cooking food and when he was asked about jay's dating style, he replied food and going to a restaurant. soooo taurus venus. he is quite a rational and reasonable person, but this does not concern his partner. he would complitely spoil his girlfriend. he would spare no effort, time and money to show his girlfriend the best places with the most delicious food and the most beautiful views. venus in taurus is also associated with a love of naturalness and nature, and he mentioned that he sometimes likes to go to quiet places alone, such as a park, and he also chose a place with a beautiful landscape to confess to a person he likes and once said that he likes camping. i often hear the opinion that jay is a cold person and people who say such things are absolutely blind. taurus venus is also responsible for tactility. and firstly, the way he constantly slaps members on the ass, and secondly, how gently he always touches jungwon, he often puts his hands on him, strokes him on the back, lets him sit on his lap and generally allows jungwon to do anything with him. after that i can't even imagine how gentle he will be with his partner. since his time of birth is already known, we know that his moon is in cancer. the key word for moon crayfish in love is connection. it’s extremely important for them that the beloved is not just a lover, but a person who is ready to share all emotional experiences. moon cancer is ready to devote his life to such a person. the moon in cancer gives a man a romantic and passionate temperament. the combination of his venus and the moon makes him an emotionally open and sensitive partner, who can to listen and support, as well as an excellent family man. i will never stop saying that he’s such husband material

nsfw

• venus in taurus would be delighted with beautiful lingerie and creating a sexy atmosphere in the bedroom in general, like candles, rose petals and all that

• venus in taurus may indicate praise kink, but his mars is in gemini + taurus ven makes a person noisy and talkative in bed, so yes, he is the one who will talk a lot about how good you make him feel and will expect the same from a partner (with words or sounds). one of the big turn offs for such people is silence in the bedroom

• and also gemini mars may show a tendency to sexting

• taurus/cancer in venus or mars (and the big 6 in general) will be attracted by a more curvy figure and an hourglass-type figure. BUT in jay's natal chart, venus is in taurus and the moon is in cancer, so the answer to the popular question "is he an ass guy or a boobs guy?" he is BOTH

• venus taurus reaaaally enjoy slow and possessive sex paying more attention and time to foreplay (starting from seduce messages, a elegant date and only then moving to bed with long kisses)

• also, venus in taurus and the moon in cancer indicate that a person doesn’t accept disrespect. he needs his partner to be attentive, caring and appreciate his efforts and pleasure (in the bedroom and out)

• the moon in cancer makes him very passionate in bed but only if he has feelings for you. sometimes he want be taken care of, but usually in combination with his other placement he is very dominate and take the role of care-giver (and not only in bed)

• cancer moon = breeding kink. that's what i'm saying

jake

okay his venus in scorpio and actually i've heard so many different things about it. like you can see a lot of information that people with venus in scorpio are quite manipulative, they don't let anyone get close and can even communicate somewhat coldly/rudely with a person they like, and I even heard somewhere that these are people who find it very difficult (almost impossible) to find and keep true love. but in my opinion, this is a situation where upbringing and environment have influenced in a positive way. i really don't see anything extra manipulative in him or a person who would intentionally hurt his partner. even just watching him with members and especially with maknae, he is a very gentle person and jay and jungwon characterized him as the person who listens best and always helps with any question, even if it's hard for him at this moment. in my opinion venus in scorpio in his case gives such an influence: 1) a person with a riddle, some mystery could really attract him or perhaps something like a forbidden relationship as a relationship in which there is no equivalence of partners, where someone may be higher and someone lower, where someone is strong and someone is weak, where someone poor, and someone rich, where someone is free, and someone is already in a relationship, where someone is kind, and someone is categorically evil. but in a milder manifestation, given that he is an idol, this would be the majority of relationships for him since he would need to hide them and it would absolutely attract him as a game. 2) jealousy? i don’t know, actually he doesn’t give a jealous person a vibe, but we have only seen him with members and maybe he is not jealous of friends, but jealous of a partner. 3) the fear of losing which can be expressed either in excessive attachment and control with which he will strangle his partner or vice versa with some coldness due to the fear of opening up and hurting his feelings

nsfw

• his moon in aries and aries moons love a "right here n right now" kinda sex and tend to be really fond of bold and nonchalant advances

• scorpio venus/mercury has a tendency to degrade kink and jake literally has both so…

• the moon in aries can say that he would be attracted by a very confident and brave girl who could put him in his place. in my opinion, in this case it would be a little softened in life, but more in the bedroom + the point above about degradation… it would be a fucking fiery mix

• libra mars tends to vent stress and negative emotions (especially anger) during sex

• aries moon are the most horny people who is ready always and everywhere

• his mars in libra makes him pretty dominant in bed and he's also likely to be good at dirty talk

• scorpio mercury is sooo good at oral sex

sunghoon

sunghoon as jake has a moon in scorpio and i think for the most part they are similar. however, perhaps sunghoon is a little more inclined to show coldness and indifference towards the person he likes and perhaps a little more inclined to hurt a partner in a relationship with words or actions (not consciously). he's like you know the guy who likes you, but he pretends not to notice you or in extreme cases, if one way or another you have become closer can sometimes tease you (but not much so that you suddenly don't think that he cares!). most likely would have been attracted by someone with tsundere energy. people with the moon in sagittarius are quite freedom-loving, do not like routine and are open to learning something new that can lead to conflicts if a partner treats life differently and would try to lock him in a cage

nsfw

• venus in scorpio and mars in scorpio can indicate dominance in bed and sunghoon has both of these placements so…

• mars in scorpio can behave literally like a sex addict with a person he is in love with

• sunghoon has venus in scorpio as jake, so the degrading kink is also here

• mars in scorpio can make a person a little impatient like the type that goes straight to the point forgetting about any preludes and other types of stimulation

• but also mars in scorpio makes it very resistant and can make go many rounds per night

• with his scorpio placement he would like someone innocent so that he could completely ruin them

p.s. maybe i’ll update it later and add some more and i’ll glad to hear your opinion

[justporo]

A Night of Song and Laughter (Part 6)

In which Astarion basically says "Murder is okay, but it's not okay to disrespect my wife". A lot of swearing in this one, be warned - also Astarion's bares his claws.

So - ARE YOU READY FOR ANOTHER ONE?? I'm honestly so tired, at the moment, it's doing my job at day, being a fanfic writer and servant to the fandom at night. Which results in poor sleep schedule and eating habits. Didn't even get to keep playing for a few days. But I love all the things happening, all the content people create and people liking my content as well - after all I am just as prone to flattery as Astarion is.

Also I should make a post where I will link all chapters - I will do that probably tonight or tomorrow - depending on how quick writing the next part will be.

You know the drill by now, you can already continue reading on AO3!

Rating: Explicit

Pairing: Astarion/Fem!Tav (You)

(Gif from here!)

Astarion quickly made to take everyone’s drink orders. When Daegin opted to get off his stool and get himself another beer and almost fell off it, Eodin just about caught him and convinced him to take a round of water. So the dwarf complained and made to rest his head on the table.

Before Astarion left for the bar he threw a quick questioning glance at you, with it asking if it would be okay to leave you for a few moments. You nodded slightly and smiled reassuringly at him but in fact you were dreading to be alone with these people even though they were your friends.

When Lira offered to go with him to help carry everything your heart sank even deeper. Closing your eyes for a short moment, you steeled yourself for the words that would definitely be had once Astarion and Lira would be out of earshot. At least they would think that, when you were pretty sure Astarion would use every one of his heightened vampiric and elven senses to not miss a single word.

When you opened your eyes again you saw how Lira practically beamed at Astarion who was much taller than her. She didn’t even reach his shoulders. Lira had always been your closest friend in the group, she was truly a sweetheart – you had wondered how she did make such a formidable thief though since she seemed so honest and soft. You were more than sure Astarion already had a place in her heart, and she would use the moments she had to completely obliterate the vampire with many more questions about him and your relationship. The thought made you smile.

Astarion swiftly and elegantly managed to navigate through the now much bigger crowd to the bar while making sure the much smaller half-elf wasn’t pushed over by anyone in the pretty drunk crowd. You could barely make a step without bumping into people, so he softly touched her shoulder, kept his hand there lightly and motioned her to walk in front of him, so she wouldn’t be elbowed in the face by accident. She was completely oblivious to his show of polite chivalry since she had started bombarding him with questions about himself and Tav.

“Have you been together long? Did you save her like a hero on a white horse and she inevitably fell for you? Wait, you said, she saved you, what happened? Are you staying in Baldur’s Gate? We have to meet again some time, I need to know absolutely everything. You two are such a beautiful couple, Gods, you would have gorgeous babies! Does she make you happy? She seems so happy, I’ve never seen her this happy, you have to take good care of her for me, promise?” Astarion kept softly nudging her to get her to move to the bar while she basically kept walking backwards and blabbering. Since he was also trying to focus on the conversation that no doubt was going on at the table he had just left, he only gave pretty short answers to Lira: “A few months now. Once or twice, no horse needed though, they bite too much for my liking. Much longer story. We are. I’m sure we can. Uhm, thank you.” But the last few things Lira had said and asked made Astarion focus entirely on her. He looked at her expecting face and replied: “She makes me very happy and in a way, I didn’t think I could ever feel. And if I truly make her only a fraction as happy as she’s made me, I can be considered the luckiest man in all of Baldur’s Gate, nay, Faerun. And I’ll promise you I will do anything I can to keep her happy and safe as long as she’ll want me by her side.” The sudden change in tone and sincerity in his words stopped Lira in her rambling. “Wow”, she simply whispered silently and looked at Astarion. Then she suddenly jumped to give him a quick hug. Astarion almost made to step out of reach before her arms went around his waist, but he let it happen. The concept of hugging was still pretty new to him, except with you of course. And since he didn’t quite know how to react correctly in such a situation, he just kind of went to awkwardly pat the adorable half-elf on the back. This was still new, but he was pretty sure that it was nice and warmth filled his chest.

Lira let go off him, seemingly also surprised by her sudden outburst: “Sorry… I’m just so happy for her… and for you too!” She smiled warmly then turned around, since they were finally at the bar. “Soooo – I am certainly invited to the wedding, am I not? Can I be Tav’s Maid of Honor?” Astarion would have probably blushed would that have been possible for him. Did anyone ever make him this flustered in a matter of hours since meeting? Well, you probably, but other than that? He was released from questioning though when the barmaid came over and took their order. As they waited, Astarion decided he definitely liked this one of your friends and decided to be his best polite and interested self and asked Lira to tell him about herself.

You watched the two of them wander off into the crowd. Then you remembered the two rather grim faces in front of you and the one, that was already much too drunk to actually really notice anything.

Eodin had crossed the arms over his chest again, dropping the façade completely: “You have some nerve, Tav.” His tone was bitter. You see Miyena’s lip slightly curve into a smirk. “You disappear for months, leave us with a load of jobs, we can’t finish because we need your goddamn elven ass, since you are the best with sleight of hand and all. Which made us not only miss out on said jobs but also caused us to lose most of our clients, because now we seem to be the most unreliable band of thieves this city has ever seen! And then you reappear with this fucking elven twink and basically let him take you right on the fucking table like a slut!”, Eodin’s voice rises more and more during his rant while Miyena’s malicious smirk grows bigger. At least you can tell who it was who spewed so much venom into his ear. Daegin didn’t seem to react even though Eodin was practically shouting, in fact, you could hear some soft snoring.

You are completely dumbstruck. Had you expected a verbal ass-whooping? Absolutely! Had you expected this? Absolutely not! The feelings of guilt you had for abandoning your friends albeit there hadn’t been anything you could’ve done about this vanished in an instant. His words were pure venom and you could feel rage slowly rear inside you. Being angry about all of this was the one thing but it was the way he said it, especially with the intonation of your and Astarion’s elven heritage and calling you a slut? You were done with the niceties and you started to feel murderous.

You sucked on your teeth and mimicked Eodin’s aggressive stance, looked him straight in the eyes and asked: “Mind telling me, what exactly changed in the past months I wasn’t here? I get being angry and wanting an explanation. What I don’t get is you insulting me and Astarion – who you’ve never met before today, might I add – making a scene here in front of everyone and especially, what specifically makes this about me being an elf?” You saw how Miyena side-eyed him and raised an expectant eyebrow. “And you certainly didn’t think of me as slut, when I jerked you off and you were too drunk to get it up properly! You disgust me!” He winced at the mention of this particularly embarrassing night you had shared, which incidentally had been the last. You were disgusted by the memory. Bile was raising in your throat, making you gag – why did you ever think this guy deserved you at all?

“Well, I thought you weren’t like them – all fleeting attention, mysteries, riddles. I thought I knew you, Tav, I thought you were my friend… and I even thought you were more for some time. I thought you were one of us, so sweet and nice… So… indeed, Tav, what has changed?” You couldn’t believe your ears. Never had your elven heritage made any difference at all, especially since you’d grown up on the city streets and hadn’t had the comfort of a sheltered childhood far off in the woods in some elven enclave. His words hurt. You might’ve never seen him in the way he once wanted you, but he had been a close friend, an understanding friend. This angry and obviously jealous side was not only new but disgusting to you. Your eyes wandered over to Miyena who was still smirking. “Well, for starters”, you said “thinking really ever wasn’t your strong suit. You should leave that to the others. Ah, but seems you already handed that duty over to Miyena here.” You turned to the tiefling and threw her a death glare: “Don’t think I don’t see how you’ve been smirking and side-eyeing Eodin the whole time, you bitch. You always wanted everything for yourself. Go ahead, you can have him, his limp-dick and all loot and coin you get from your jobs, I don’t care.” The tiefling woman looked ready to throw daggers at you. Eodin opened his mouth, now having at least the decency to look the slightest bit guilty, but you lifted your hand before he could speak and continued: “If all it takes for you to turn against me and discriminate me is being away for a few months, then consider everything – our work friendship, our work arrangement – separated. You were always very impressionable, but never would I have thought you were so easy to turn into a hot toxic pile of garbage. Go right on with Miyena, but be careful, she was already eyeing Astarion, because she always wants what others have.” And with that you ended your spiteful little speech.

The man and the tiefling looked at each other for a second, then continued to stare angrily at you. A year back, you ‘d never would have called them out on their bullshit, you had indeed changed. Back then you would have eaten up the shame and would have given in to your strong people-pleasing tendency. But you were done taking the world’s and everyone’s shit and be thankful for mere scraps they threw you, you deserved better than this – something your vampiric soulmate had taught you. “Now, you can fuck off or you can stay and be nice for the night because I don’t want to spoil the evening for Lira and Daegin”, you added when neither of them said anything.

This suddenly seemed to get Miyena and Eodin out of their stupor. Miyena simply hissed at you, when Eodin spat: “Why don’t you fuck off, you and that arrogant elven prick. Who is he really anyway, did you sell yourself off to him as a plaything or mistress or something? You don’t belong…”

A glint of silver and there was a blade at each Miyena’s and Eodin’s throat. Astarion was standing impossibly close behind them both, his arms around each of their shoulders. He’d masterfully had sneaked up behind them. To others, it would have looked simply like a drunken hug from afar – only the two daggers pressing against their necks were distracting from that. “I’d advise you to hold very still or you’ll find out exactly how prickly I can be”, Astarion whispered to them in a voice that was actually rather made for candle light and dark bedrooms, his red eyes were glinting with fury. The tiefling slightly hissed at him but tensed, Eodin just whimpered.

“Now, I really did not appreciate your tone and how you spoke to my partner. But seeing as I was enjoying myself so much tonight, I’m giving you one more chance. You can be nice little puppies now and be polite and graceful for the rest of the evening. And after tonight I never want to see a shred of you again”, he whispered to them hoarsely, his mouth wandering from Eodin’s ear to Miyena’s and back again. The daggers pressed slightly harder against their throats now.

“Or”, Astarion drawled and smiled wickedly “you can fuck off right now, just as my lovely lady here proposed. Choose as you wish but behave or I will splatter you all over the walls.” You swallowed hard, did he have to be this threatening and with that tone in his voice. In a very twisted way, you enjoyed what was happening way too much. Gods, you loved when Astarion became all protective. And something wild and dark in you enjoyed his threatening, predatory demeanor. The softest gasp left your mouth and you squeezed your thighs together – hard. This was not the time to get aroused. Astarion heard though and his eyebrow shot up, his eyes flicking to yours for a split second and his signature smirk found its way back on his lips.

“What will it be now?”, he then whispered to his two captives again “I wouldn’t want to end the night in bloodshed – well, maybe a little.” He grinned baring his fangs and licked over his lips slowly. Eodin turned completely pale and Miyena’s eyes widened.

“Go… let us go”, the man whispered and started to struggle against Astarion’s hold while trying to not get knicked by the knife at his throat.

“Then have it your way”, Astarion sneered and in one swift movement withdrew his daggers, turned them around and pushed them off into the crowd - hard. They stumbled away, bumping into the people around them but quickly made their way away from you.

Astarion rolled his shoulders and sighed dramatically, then looked at you grinning: “Ah, darling, so good to be alone with you again, don’t you think?” His eyes wandered down your body and he licked his lips again. “Nothing like a little drama and knife play to spice up the night, am I right?” His red eyes turned even darker with an impossible hunger shining in them. You gulped, Daegin snored.

[stormy-river]

Transcripts from the Humanity Hotline 5

This one's been a long time in the making; had to make sure I did it right. Special thanks to @mothepissedoffmidget for the idea, and my roomie, @starryeyedlarkspur for helping with the advice.

-------

Operator: "Hi, thank you for holding. My name is Mindy. How can I help you today?"

Caller: "Yes, hi! I'm Nishel, the EMO [Entertainment and Morale Officer] on my ship. We hired a human about a month ago, and I'm struggling to keep up. Is it normal for humans to tire of activities so quickly?"

O: "That depends on the human, and the activities. Could you tell me a little more?"

C: "Yes. When we hired the human, she brought books and knitting supplies to entertain herself, which I though was helpful, but after a day or two she requested some puzzles. I was able to approve and acquire some fairly easily, but the human returned only a few days later asking for scrapbooking materials, and, well, the same thing happened. Over the last month, I've acquired puzzles, scrapbooks, a climbing wall for the gym, locks and a lockpicking set -- that one was a hassle to get approved, more knitting supplies, crochet supplies (I don't even know how that's different from knitting?), painting supplies, face painting supplies (again, I don't know how that's different), strange plastic bricks that fit together, and a violin. And that's just what was approved. I've also heard from the crew that she's downloaded more books, started writing stories on her personal computer, and started learning how to write programs, and yet, with all these things, she told me this morning that she has nothing to do and was bored. I don't know what else to do. I've spent 78% of this year's entertainment budget this month!"

O: "That's a lot. Some humans have a few different hobbies at once, but usually not that many. Do you have access to crew psychological evaluations?"

C: "Yes, when necessary for morale concerns."

O: "Is there anything in the human's file?"

C: "It says Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder, which is also something she's mentioned a few times, but that's tagged for possibly interfering with work, not morale."

O: "ADHD would explain it. It shouldn't only be tagged as work-related as it can actually affect a human's whole life. This is another human thing that's different for everyone, with some hyper-fixating on one thing for a really long time, or different aspects of a single subject, and others, like your crewmember, gaining and losing interest in many different things very quickly."

C: "So this will keep happening? I can see about increasing the budget for next year, but I don't think this is sustainable long term."

O: "Don't panic, there's actually a cheaper method. Communicate with other ships and supply stations with humans on board to see if they are having a similar problem. If you can find others who get and lose hobbies quickly, you can trade the supplies; give them what your human is done with, and receive their extras for her. This will also have the extra benefit of building social connections as they discuss and trade."

C: "That makes sense. It would take a lot of coordination, but I can start asking the nearby fleet."

O: "Good. I will also send a report to the Alliance to see if something can be officially established. Is there anything else I can help you with today?"

C: "No, thank you, Mindy. You've been a great help."

O: "Of course. Don't hesitate to call again if something else comes up."

End Transmission

Transcription Note: Following this call, the Alliance established the Hobby Interfleet Trade Service, now the Interfleet Surplus Exchange (ISE), commissioning a fleet of delivery ships to shuttle supplies.

[tackytigerfic]

im soo hyped for that wartime fic :O do you have any entire how long in terms of chapters it will be?

Hello Anon, thank you so much for being excited about this. It really is such a kind thing to tell me, esp after I've been writing this fic for so long and having absolutely zero perspective on it anymore.

I am hoping to post it in chapters, as I have never had a fic long enough to do that with before! And it might be my only chance. It's currently nearly 220k with a bit more to write (but not much more!) though I am going to try to cut it back as close to about 150k as I can get it. And then I'm going to try to divide it into about 15 chapters or so, and post a chapter every 2 days for a month. They will be big chunky boys, those chapters! I know a lot of people don't read WIPs and I don't mind if people don't follow along, but I have read along with a handful of WIPs myself and it was such fun that I thought I'd like to try it from the other side. I do also have a smut epilogue planned which I might have to post a bit later, depending on how quickly I get through the editing process.

Here's a little snip from the fic too, just while I'm here, and since it's still WIP Snip Sunday! In this scene, Harry and Draco are no longer friends, after Draco ran off to France. They have just been humiliated to learn (through drinking a charmed drink) that they share the same happiest memory, and it involves a day out they had in London together many years before.

"It’s obviously some sort of error in the charm, like you said.”

“Exactly.” Draco had the steel of conviction in his voice. “But even if it wasn’t… if that really was your happiest memory, I mean. Well, you know I’m not judging you.”

“Well, you’re not exactly in any position to judge me, are you?” Harry said nastily, hating himself a bit for it. “After all, it was your happiest memory too.”

They were quiet then, Harry weighing up Draco’s silence, judging it for what he knew it was; a confession.

“Well,” Draco said, and cleared his throat. “It really was excellent ice-cream.”

“Hermione says we all have some sort of trauma reaction from being at war for so long, and she thinks I’m latching onto anything that isn’t completely terrible in my past.”

“Oh, cheers,” Draco broke in. “Though I suppose not-completely-terrible is a fair assessment.”

Harry wanted to tell him that there was a time when he was pretty much the exact opposite of terrible—the counterpoint to all the shitty things Harry had to worry about, the thing that undercut all the misery and drudgery of the war Harry was locked into. But Harry couldn’t remember feeling the purity of those feelings anymore, not since they’d been all muddied up by Draco leaving, the awful gasping pain of the surprise abandonment, the sick relentless ache of the realisation that Draco really wasn’t coming back.

“I miss London,” he said instead. “Sometimes I even miss Grimmauld Place.”

“That’s another thing he’s ruined,” Draco said, shoving his sweating plastic bags of takeaway onto the small table. “London always felt so safe. It was so big, so anonymous. I could be anyone I wanted there. And now he’s everywhere, like a virus. How often do you get back there?”

“Hardly ever,” Harry said. “When I went to meet you, that was the first time in months. The Council thinks it’s too much of a risk, me going into his territory. His warding system isn’t as sophisticated as ours yet, of course, but he’s working with a lot of innate power there, and it’s concentrated stuff. If I fall into his hands, it would be all over for us.”

“Lots of magic per square foot in London,” Draco agreed. “I do worry about that. If he gets back to his full strength at any point, with all that magical energy behind him…”

“I know,” Harry said. “It’s one of the things that keeps me up at night, to be honest.”

“There are probably quite a few of those,” Draco said, lip curling not unkindly. “Do you— I mean, I always order too much…” He waved his hand at the bags of takeaway. Harry could see a curling bag of brown paper with the corner of a herb-dappled naan poking out, and he felt ravenous again, all of a sudden.

“Yeah, I could eat,” he said. “If you’re sure.”

[nervoushottee]

Flaws and All CH. 1 | Joel Miller x Fem!Reader Series

Warnings: Violence, guns, blood, cuts, regular ole the last of us shit.

Note: Had so much fun writing this. I’ve been working nonstop and haven’t had anytime to write but I am so happy I was able to get this out.

(Not edited at all so sorry not sorry just wanted to get this out of my head)

Series Masterlist

—————

Chapter 1

Winter was a deadly beast.

Depending on what side of the planet you’re on, it could be your saving grace or the demon within. The cold weather could bring frost bitten limbs, harsh winds and even death. Or it could be a glimpse of pure joy, excitement and tranquility.

And for you? You were honestly hoping it'd be your escape. The both of you were.

But all in all, right now you couldn’t feel your fucking fingers. And you were sure as hell that Joel couldn’t either. No matter how many grunts and grumbles that came from indicating that he was okay. It was just two words that he was saying to himself to help warm his chest.

You could hardly tell what time it was. With clouds filled with snow covering the sun leaving a tint of grey and white. You just hoped that you had a few more hours before nightfall.

Joel was in front of you, his dark green coat covering his back. His head hunched over a bit as he walked. Map in hand as he continues his stride.

“How long now?” You ask the man in front of you. He slows his pace for you to catch up with him. Your boots trudging in the cold snow. “Not far out.” He says to you simply. You sigh at his short response.

This is how it was with you two since leaving. Short and sweet conversations. Quiet nights, and even quiet walks.

You couldn’t tell if it was because you were still strangers to one another or that it was because he simply didn’t like you.

You were hoping it wasn’t the latter.

From what you noticed, Joel was a quiet man.

The two of you met on a whim. A fast chaotic and last minute decision. A quick change that maybe somehow was fate.

The settlement the two of you were in turned sour fast. What you thought was a decent place with decent rules of living turned into hell on earth in just two weeks. You and Joel were neighbors. Living in the same apartment and from time to time you would bump into each other during the day.

A simple “good morning” or “good night”. Or a “morning” or “night” on Joel’s end. Nothing but simple pleasantries between two people.

But one night, you woke up to the sound of glass breaking. Which probably wouldn’t be such a nervous thing with how the world was now. But this sounded a bit too close for comfort.

You had accidentally slept on the couch the night before and your living room window gave you a full view of what was happening within the streets.

There were people in the streets, screaming and killing each other. Matzel tovs were being thrown into apartment buildings. Nail bombs at the front doors of the makeshift stores people created for the community. You could hear the sound of women screaming. Men, bandits, laughing.

You couldn’t believe what you were seeing. Slowly in fear of not making any sudden movements for someone to see you through the window you quickly throw your jacket back on that you had dropped on the floor.

Thankful that you fell asleep still in the clothes your worn that day.

You were always an overthinker. Since birth it was something that was engraved in you whether you liked it or not. Even worse with how shitty life was. But despite its negative causes it had on your life, there were certain times where you were thankful for it.

The bag you brought into the settlement on your first day here was still packed with things. You didn’t pack out everything into the dusty closets or old dressers slowly starting to mildew. You would simply take out each thing you needed for the day and put it back at night.

You would rinse and repeat this method until you had lived here for a month. That was your plan. That was your routine. But life doesn’t always go to plan. You hurriedly put your boots back on. One already snug on your left foot.

The urge to keep your bag close came over you and you quickly limped through your bedroom door to retrieve it. But the minute you opened the door to your room. You were greeted with the reason you heard the broken glass in the first place.

A masked man broke into your bedroom.

He had a knife in one hand and your bag in the other. The pack was open and you could see the contents you had in there were swished around. Probably from him rummaging through it for anything of value for him to take.

That bag was like a pot of gold to anyone desperate enough.

But at the sight of you, his need to steal your bag was washed. A new need in mind as he dropped your bag to the floor. He storms over to you with his knife raised. You gasp at how quickly everything happens.

You’re slamming the bedroom door to his face but it doesn’t stagger him. You run to your kitchen area in a panic. A shriek leaving your throat as you run and go beside your table. You push it with all of your might into the stranger who simply laughs at your attempt to stop him.

He laughs like this is a joke to him. Like he’s play a game of cat and mouse. You knew if he catched you, that death would be more favorable than whatever ideas he had in mind. You could see his hunger in his eyes.

He continues forward walking toward you slowly until he has you cornered. And if you had any mind to do so you could hit him with something. Grabbed a knife from the kitchen. Hit him with your other shoe. Anything.

But it was too late to think about that. All you could think about now is trying not to die. Trying to stop whatever he would do to you before that if you could. And in this moment you thought that dying would be more of a blessing than a curse.

He charged at you which causes you to scream. Using all your might to push him off of you. Grabbing the knife quickly before he plunged it into your shoulder. You shriek at the intense pain of the knife slicing through your gripped palm.

You were trying so hard. Kicking and pushing using all the strength you could. But you didn’t think it would be enough. You knew it wouldn’t. In the end, he sadly had the upperhand. He was bigger than you and caught you by suprise.

And you were going to fucking die. With a final scream you almost accepted your fate. But the immediate force of your front door getting kicked down gave you a glimpse of hope.

Joel had seen what was happening outside his apartment window. Started grabbing his own things same as you did. And was a few feet out of his door before he had heard you scream and didn’t waste a second to come help you.

Both you and the masked man froze from the sudden intrusion. Which gave Joel enough time to shoot the man dead. The shot rang out, the man falling to the floor. His blood splattering against your face. The heavy sets of breathing leaving your mouth.

Joel walked over to you and bent down to your level. You didn’t realize til then that the man had you basically on the floor fighting for your life was dead.

“Are you okay?” He asked, his eyes trailing your face. “Are you hurt?”

You swallowed, still in shock for all that had happened so quickly. “My hand.” You croaked out. Your throat is sore from how loud you were screaming.

Joel nodded his head looking at your bloody palm. “Can you stand?” You nodded as you grasp the hand Joel extends to you. Your injured one curled against your chest, throbbing from pain.

“Get your stuff, we’re leaving.” He said to you.

We’re leaving.

After a few seconds of letting what he said register you limped over back to your room to grab your bag. Some of the items spilled out on the floor and you hurriedly pushed it back inside. You finally put on your second shoe and see Joel staring out your window. “What’s going on?” You say to him hoarsely.

Joel shakes his head without turning to you. His eyes still looking at the streets of the settlement. “Not sure. More or less Raiders, a big group of them. Wanting something like this. It was easy pickings with a settlement so small. With the mask on that guy I think I’m right.” Joel turns to you. Giving you a once over look. “You ready?”

You hadn’t even realize his attire. His green jacket in over his body. A bag of his own around both of his arms. And a rifle strapped on his shoulder.

You nod your head at the question.

With your confirmation, Joel starts to walk out of your apartment. Muttering for you to follow him. And you did exactly that.

That was four days ago.

Now here you both were. Walking in the snow to get to wherever the hell Joel was looking at the map for.

“There.” He spoke up. He points to the gas station in the far distance. You squint your eyes to see it better. It wasn’t far but it wasn’t close either. Still you couldn’t wait to get out of the cold. You doubt the gas station would even have electricity, so it would more than likely still be cold. But being cold in a shelter is better than nothing.

“Let’s go then.” You pushed ahead of Joel, walking toward the faint view of the building in front of you. Joel eventually catching up to you with a fiew long strides.

“So what’s the reason why we’re going here?”

You finally speak up. Turning your head to the man who saved you nearly days before.And granted you probably should’ve asked him that three days ago. But the trek to get up here was too dangerous as is.

The settlement was smackdown in the middle of a small city. So it took about two days to get out of there on foot. Hiding from raiders, killing any infected you saw along the way. Joel was very smart and skilled in both departments. There wasn’t much talk for what happens next. The priority was getting out of there.

When those days passed, you both were finally out of the city and there was nothing but greenery for miles. You were too exhausted to speak from all the walking you did. Your palm throbbing with pain every step of the way.

On the third night, the temperature dropped. By morning of the fourth day, it was snowing.

So as you both walked the snow dusted trail you felt like it was a good as time as any to ask him questions. “A guy that I knew before I stayed at the settlement has a radio. Marked my map with a few spots of where another might be just in case I would ever need to contact him.” He explains.

You contemplate what he says as the two of you reach the gas station. Joel turns to you, looking briefly at your empty hands. A silent statement for you to be armed and on your guard.

You grab the pistol that he had given to you to use and a flash light from your pack in the other hand. You twist your hands and wrists on top of each other. Both gun and flashlight in hand, aimed and ready to use.

You were hardly a good shot. It takes a few times to actually shoot a target from afar on a good day. But fear and survival have a good way of showing us what exactly we are capable of in certain moments.

Your wrapped palm hated the harsh tug you had on your gun, but it was the least of your worries. You nod your head towards Joel as he starts to pry the door open. The cold air causing it to need more force than it probably would have.

You check your surroundings as Joel struggles with the door. No one was out here for miles. The only thing you could see were trees and stranded cars. The snow that came in that morning was already starting to cover the surface of anything and everything it could. You hoped that the two of you could stay here for the night instead of out in the wilderness again.

The sudden jolt of the door pushing open made your turn your head back over to Joel. He had gotten the door open and quickly pulled his own gun and flashlight out. “Wait here.” He tells you before going into the gas station. Giving it a good look around, before calling your name to follow inside.

You look back for a second to look around in case anyone for some reason followed you for four days. You hear Joel call your name again. A lot closer now than he was before. You shake your anxious thoughts and enter the gas station with a heavy breath.

The gas station was ransacked. Shelves were bare and broken. And any supplies that were left were nearly finished. Joel had been a few steps out the door and nearly knocked into you before you came inside. His face almost filled with worry, a question almost leaving his mouth before he sighs. Going behind you to push the door closed and sliding a piece of wood through the door handles.

“The place seems secure. Ransacked for sure but no one’s here so we should be good for now.” Joel tells you as he walks back ahead of you. “Great.” You respond idly. Placing your gun away (your injured hand thank you for it) and flashing your flashlight through the abandoned station.

The building was small. Not a big gas station which was obvious. Probably just being a small gas station for travelers to full up on gas and stale snacks before hitting the road again. That’s what it was like only a few years ago. A simple store to get lottery tickets and making sure to press the right gas button instead of the diesel.

Now it was a free for all, ransacked for survival. Oh how time flies when it’s the end of the world.

You walk further into the station, behind what were once clean isles now filled with dirty and trash. The fridges that were once cold filed with refreshing drinks were now barren with only a few stranglers of bottles left. You could hear Joel doing the same as you. Looking through isles, rummaging for anything that was useful in the dim light of his flashlight.

This is what life was now. Breaking and entering, and stealing to survive. Hiding in plain sight from the dead that risen. Infected with sick disease that wouldn’t stop from killing you and a sudden sound. Raiders doing as they pleased. Like a god or devil granted them their wish of the world turning to shit so they can do as they please without a care in the world. Or people to stop them.

“Got some pain killers. Not much but a few packets to help with that hand.” Joel says to you out loud. You don’t turn to look at him or respond. To his statement. You flashlight shining over the drink you had not seen in a long time.“I got a can of Yahoo if you want to trade.” You say jokingly.

You turn your head back to see Joel staring at you with a confused face. You move your body slightly, hand still shining on the dead fridge with the red and yellow can sitting in one of the holders. Joel huffs a laugh before standing up from his need position. Shaking his head as he walks over to the cash register.

You look back over to the can of Yahoo for a few seconds before you hear Joel call your name. You quickly open the fridge door, the smell of dried water and mildew wafted your nose as you nonetheless pick up the can and sliding it inside your jacket pocket before heading over to Joel’s direction.

There was an door behind the register that was now open. Walking inside to see Joel behind an office desk. It was slightly warmer in this room. You really had no clue why but it would be a decent place to sleep for the rest of night if you played your cars right.

“Help me with this.” He asks you. You walk behind the desk to see Joel hovering over a old radio that had been hidden away in a old vent. You kneel beside him, shoulders touching as you both slide the rest of the radio and its equipment out of the slim vent. Placing it on the office desk with a grunt.

“That shit is heavy.” You mutter with a groan after releasing it.

“Abe preferred the outdated stuff than the modern day. With how its going now, its a good thing he did. Because this thing still works.” He nods his head towards it. “Abe’s your radio guy?” You question him.

Joel nods without saying a world. Starting to move his hands against the radio. Twisting and turning things you had no clue what for. You assumed in attempt to turn it on.

You let Joel focus on the radio as you get a further look around the office. The office was pretty small. Only the office desk and a wooden chair for furniture. There was a tall window that was covered in dirt and grime on the outside. It still created enough light for you both not to need you flashlights. There were a few potted plants on the windowsill. Small, dead plants that probably bought some joy once before.

A broken picture frame face down on the floor. You kneel down to pick it up, dusting the small shards of glass to take the slim picture out.

It was a picture of a family. A mother and father, with an older daughter and younger son. All smiling wide with fishes in their hands. A lake in the background.

This picture makes you think that this gas station was once family owned. Once a place where a family dedicated their time and money to make it useful for customers.

Now it is a graveyard.

It still baffles you how quick life changed. How so sudden the world went to shit. Just two years ago you were in your apartment, in your favorite pair of socks. With a warm cup of tea at your side. Now you’re taking whatever clothing you can find and tea is a useless thing to you now.

At least you had Joel.

You didn’t know how long you two would be together. But you were thankful all the same for his company. He was a quiet man, but a helpful one. He knew his way around. How to survive and protect like it was instilled in him before all of this happened. Despite only truly being in his presence nonstop for four days straight. You want to get to know him more. Hoping that whatever Robert says on this radio (Hopefully it works). That Joel will want to take you with him.

If you were honest. You were tired of doing this alone. And some company wouldn’t hurt. Even if it was company from a man who hadn’t talked much.

Ever so delicately, you place the flimsy picture against the window sill. Like placing a flower on top of a closed casket. You bid a farewell to the old life that feels like a lifetime away.

You put your hands in your pocket. Wincing at the cold aluminum can of chocolate milk against your injured hand. You walk over to the desk where Joel tinkers with the radio.

The loud noise of static makes the both of you jump from the sudden sound. Joel springs into action pulling out his map and and a small notebook from his bag. Turning the radio at whatever frequency has written throughout one of the pages.

He turns the knob back and forth and grabs the the microphone and takes a breath before speaking. “Abe. It’s Joel.” He says into the mic. Releasing his thumb from the mic button.

There’s nothing but static. You heart races with each long moment the two of you wait. Please listen, please respond. Please let this work.

“Abe. Hello? Are you there?” Joel says more sternly. His anticipation and fear crawling into to him. You know it is. He isn’t looking at you, ever so focused on the radio. Turning back to the notebook to make sure he was at the right channel.

All of the cards, all of your marbles. Whatever other fucking saying you could think of relies on this radio working and the person Joel needed to contact responding.

You didn’t come up with another plan besides this one. Hell you hadn’t even known this is where you were going to be five days ago. What would the two of you do now if Abe didn’t answer? Would Joel still stick with you without him? Will he still if he does?

“Joel-”,you start to say to him. Not wanting to tell him that the both of you might need to come up with a plan since the only sound coming from that radio was static. But he didn’t let you finish.

Quickly shaking his head he brings the comm up to his lips again. “Abe, This is Joel. Are you there?” He says again. This time, his voice is almost a bit weary. Trying to grasp onto some sort of hope.

He releases his thumb from the button and static comes on once again.

You start to turn around, feeling overwhelmed with stress and walk out the office to give yourself some space so Joel won’t see you cry over something like this. It was stupid of you for being so hopeful. It was a blessing you even got out of there alive all those few days ago. Nowadays, hope is a very small term and it is more than likely never as frequent as was before.

“Joel. It’s Abe. Turn to the second channel I written on your map.” You hear a man say on the radio. More static than actual noise. But you let out a breath you were holding. Walking toward the office desk, eager to hear more from the stranger.

Joel instantly grabs the make and brings his finger down to the old paper. Looking at the small handwriting to find whatever Abe had told him to turn to. You reach for you flashlight and shine the light over the map to try to help Joel see better.

He turns to the nobs on the radio before grabbing the mic again. “Abe. It’s Joel.”

“Been’s a long time since I heard from you Miller.” Abe says from the radio.

The both of you let out a relieved sigh when you hear the man’s voice. Eager to hear more, you lean both your hands over the office desk to listen in on what he has to say.

“Was hoping I wouldn’t need to for a while longer at least. But you know how things go.” Joel says.

“Unfortunately I do. Give me second and let me see if there’s any news for communities welcoming strays.” Abe tells him.

The line goes silent for a bit, the two of you not saying anything. Both eyeing the radio, hearts racing in anticipation for whatever Abe was going to say. You had yet to make your presence known. Neither has Joel. And if you were honest, you don’t know if you wanted to or not.

“So there is a place that’s available from what I heard over the radio a week ago. Small group, not too friendly but could work for a temporary solution to gather your bearings and try to find something else in the wind.” Abe suggest.

Joel asks for where the group is settled, telling Abe that he was radioing from the old gas station. “It’s South from that station. Not awful but not good either. Works better if you have a car but I really wouldn’t advise because the group may not let you in.”

You flash the flashlight again to give Joel more light as Abe tells him the city name and area. He draws lines down the map to find the way for the two of you to take.

“I’ve known you for a while Joel and I’m sure you can handle it. But this group aren’t the best to hang around. It’s mostly men and not the good kind. So I would advise you to go alone if you are with a group or anything. Especially any women.” Abe finishes

Hearing Abe’s last sentence, causes Joel to stop drawing on the map. His wooden pencil frozen. You hold in a breath as Joel locks eyes with you from across the table.

Here it is. What you’ve been worried about. The decision of whether Joel will leave you here. That one night four days ago was simply you getting lucky. And now you’ll have to be on your own again.

Joel stands straight from his hovered position over the map and his eyes doesn’t leave yours. You don’t know what he’s thinking. You don’t know what is on his mind and what decision he’s going to make. Something in you feels like you know that Joel isn’t the kind of man to leave you stranded. But you’ve been wrong about men too many times than you could count.

He puts his head down and stares at the floor. Almost if he’s contemplating something. In seconds that feel like days, he makes a small nod of his head as if he’s made up his mind. He raises the microphone to his lips and speaks.

“That’s not going to work. I have someone with me.”

With that, he extends his hand out with the microphone for you to take. You look at the microphone and look at him. It’s almost as if you could cry from relief. But you don’t . You simply take the microphone in your hand.

“Hello Abe.” You say the stranger’s name awkwardly.

“Hello.” Abe says intrigued.

“Well. There is one place. You can stay in temporarily. Another hideout I have with another radio hidden in there. It’s not much but it will give me some time to listen in on any other groups that are open for strangers. You aren’t the only person I help from time to time Joel.” He says.

Joel nods his head as if the man can see him but doesn’t say anything else. “It’s a lot farther than the one I just told you. It’s North. Not on the map when I marked for you because its really a hideout for me if where I’m at goes to shit. But, I’ve known you along time and let’s call this a referral or friendly discount of some sort.”

He tells the both of you the proper directions and Joel erases the old lines he made on the map just minutes before. “It’s not much. I know you were probably hoping for something more permanent .” Abe apologizes

“It’s great. Thank you.” You say on the microphone.

“It would be best if you take a car. Which hopefully won’t be too hard given the area you’re in currently. Until then, Joel and his lady friend. Hopefully I can have something better soon for ya.”

Joel says his thank yous and you do as well. Before turning to put the radio back in its originally hiding place. He stands up with a sigh and turns to you. “We should sleep here for the night. Find a car that works in the morning.” You nod your head in agreement.

A few hours pass and day becomes night. The both of you made the office your place of rest. Your sleeping bag against the wall and Joel’s near the office door. You had found an old lanter in the supply closet. It sits in the middle of the room. You and Joel’s laying on your own sleeping bags across from each other.

You were finishing the cold can of soup from your food supply. Joel looking through the map for the tenth time that night. The room silent.

With a couple more spoonfuls you place the empty can on the ground with a sigh. “I’m happy we aren’t outside. But I miss my soup being warm.” You joke.

Joel huffs a laugh and shakes his head. “Well you’ll get your wish soon enough. From what I’m seeing its going to be a long drive. Might be a day or two before we get to the place. I’ll try to siphon enough gas from a couple of the cars down the road. To have with us.” He tells you.

You nod at the plan. Still very thankful that Joel still wants you to tag along with him. From how Abe had spoke, it seemed that he wasn’t one to have company with him at all. So you wanted to thank him for it soon.

Lifting your injured hand. You slowly unwrap the dirty gauze, seething when it pulls on the sore scar. “Shit.” You mutter.

“Slow down.” Joel says.

“I am.” You respond back. You weren’t. It hurt too much to pull it slow. Not having much ointment to cover the cut caused it to stick tightly against the dry gauze. You wince again when you tug more off. “Jesus woman.” You hear Joel mutter.

He walks the short distance across to sit next to you. Taking your injured hand in his with caution. “You keep pulling at it like that and you’re going to tear the scab and have to let it heal all over again.” He scolds.

You sigh in annoyance and let Joel do what he’s done more than once since you’ve been traveling together. Tend to your wound.

You were right handed. So trying to wrap your bleeding hand the first night with the flashlight in your mouth. Your non dominant hand struggling to wrap the gauze tightly to stop the bleeding. Hearing your winces and groans from having to start over multiple times. Joel got up from his sleeping bag and wrapped your hand for you.

Ever since then he’ll ask about it. If it still hurts, does it need new gauze, to make sure you weren’t putting too much pressure on it.

You watch Joel slowly pull the gauze. Ever so soft feather-like touches against your scar. He removes the gauze. His calloused hands being so delicately soft against yours.

Flicking your eyes from his hands to his face. His eyebrows furrowed in concentration on your hand. You can’t help but feel thankful.

“Thank you.” You whisper to him.

“Be more careful next time, don’t want to have it bleedin’ again.” He says to you, still focused on your injured hand. The old gauze gone now as he reaches for the new gauze that you had pulled out moments before.

“No- not about this.” You gesture lightly with your other hand. “For the other night.”

Joel knows what you’re referring to. The night he saved you. The night he killed the man that was going to bad things to you and probably kill you afterwards. The night he took you with him to where you both are now.

He pauses from rewrapping your injured hand. Sits quietly. “I heard you screamin’. Wouldn’t have been right to just leave you after hearing that.”and with that he continues to wrap the gauze. “It pretty much looks healed. But you should keep it wrapped for maybe a day or two longer.”

You thank him as he stands up from his seated position. “You should get some sleep. We got a long trek ahead of us.”

“What about you?” You ask him. He softly jerks his head toward the map. “I’m going to mark a few alternative routes just in case the main one we’ll be taken is a dead end or blocked or something.”

You nod at his response before slipping inside your sleeping bag. You turn away from Joel and face the wall. You blink to see the picture you had once placed on the window sill, had been on the floor. Your eyes drift close as you think of simpler times, and the life you once had before this.

—————————————-

HEYYYY… How y’all doing??

I’m here with a new series that’s been flooding my brain nonstop for the past month. I am not setting any expectations on it but this is chapter one. I will post a more official series post later on. I just wanted to get this out thereeee

Glad to be writing again!!!

[slashmagpie]

Blood & Snow

Pt. I

Directory: {Pt. II} {Pt. III} {Pt. IV} {Pt. V} {Pt. VI} {Pt. VII} {AO3}

Welcome to my @hermithorrorweek fic! I spent a while trying to figure out seven different fic concepts based on the prompt, and kept coming up blank, up until I decided to combine them all and write a single fic, with each prompt being the theme for a different chapter. Blood & Snow is the result, and at the time of posting it is not quite complete, but I'm excited to share it with you nonetheless. I'm hoping to post a chapter once per day, but later chapters may be delayed depending on how long it takes me to get them written. Some of this builds off concepts I played with in some of my earlier Decked Out 2 ficlets, which you can find in my writing tag. TWs for this chapter include: non-consensual body modification*, unreality*, panic attacks

I. GAME MECHANICS

Game design is simple, really.

Well, no, it’s difficult—but the principles behind it are simple. Make it fun. Make it challenging. Make it rewarding. 

Decked Out 2 is a game.

To be more precise, it’s a long-running, deck-building, dungeon-crawling game. It’s competitive. It has rewards—bragging rights, for one. Trophies, for another. If you win, you can get crowns, and buy things to make you more powerful, to make the game more fun. You get frost embers, which are used to build the deck, and—

Clank is Decked Out’s central mechanic. Trigger a shrieker, generate clank. Easy as that. Taking your artefact will also generate clank, because it angers the spirits of the dungeon. That’s another important thing about game design: atmosphere. Design. Having something that feels cohesive. So—no, max clank isn’t quite as dangerous as it should be, but very few mobs would work to replace the vex, because, well, they’re not the spirits of the dungeon, and—

Hazard is generated every thirty-seven seconds, roughly. It used to be thirty, but that lined up with card draws, and the sound cues were hard to keep track of. So. Hazard is generated every thirty-seven seconds, roughly. Hazard makes the dungeon more dangerous to traverse, by closing doors, raising pathways, and otherwise making certain routes more dangerous or downright impossible to cross. People underestimate hazard at first, but quickly find out that hazard kills. When clank maxes out, that turns into hazard too, because max clank wasn’t dangerous enough by itself, because the vexes aren’t doing their damn jobs—

There were two older systems that got replaced. Not a lot of people know that. Focus could be built up, would synergise with other cards, but it was just—it wasn’t working. It got reworked. No one would miss it. Delve was a difficulty setting, but it was dumb, just press a button to choose your difficulty, that works way better, and—

Game design is simple, really. 

Decked Out is not a game.

Had it ever been a game? In its first iteration, back in season seven, had it hungered the way it does now? Had it slept, slumbering beneath the earth, soaking in blood that would slowly, slowly bring it to life? When the idea had wormed its way into Tango’s head, a sequel—had that been his own thought? Does it matter if it was?

He’d certainly thought it was. Began drafting up plans, re-evaluating what he’d done in the past and putting better spins on them. Decked Out 2 would be huge, would be the biggest project he’d ever worked on, but it wouldn’t take that long. Surely.

…Thirteen months later, Decked Out 2 opened its doors.

Thirteen months. It had started as a hole, as many things do. A hole, a build, a plan, a citadel—Tango had thrown himself into it like he would with any huge project. And at first it had been—it had been a project. A build, a game. A giant hole filled with promise. A castle built in a week. Just Hermitcraft things. The usual.

When had it started? When he’d dug, and dug, for hours and hours upon end? When he’d carved jagged-looking scars into the landscape and dragged the citadel up from them? When he’d started building level one? When he’d begun assembling the redstone? When the ravagers and wardens began to roam its halls? When did Decked Out come alive?

…Had it always been alive?

Okay, better question: when did—

A frozen shard is placed into the barrel. The door lights up, sounds play. The door opens. The hermit—Joe?—begins to take off their armour and items and set up the game. A difficulty button is pressed. A shulker is placed into its slot. The cards begin to filter through the system. A minecart ride, and a pressure plate—

Decked Out turns on.

The Dungeon watches carefully, hungrily. A shrieker triggers. A hazard door closes. The game is running, the game is alive, the game is always alive—

The Dungeon Master floats, untethered, bodiless, watching, speaking, unheard, unseen. His body stands in the dark, empty, eyes sightless and lungs unbreathing. Why would he need to breathe? Dungeons don’t need to breathe, after all. Games don’t need to breathe. And Decked Out isn’t a game, not really, but it still works on principles of game design, and none of those principles require the game to breathe.

So the Dungeon watches, and the Dungeon Master watches, and Joe runs straight into the blood-stained horns of a ravager, and—

And—

Tango tries to blink. To breathe. A hazard door slams open and closed. The wires are crossed, that’s not—he needs to go—an attempt to step forward dispenses a stack of frost embers into the dungeon. They’re not supposed to do that. That’s a bug, he needs to fix—

He needs his hands—

Stone walls aren’t fingers, but they flex all the same, groaning under the strain—

There’s an itching in his legs. Skulk creeps up the walls. This wasn’t supposed to happen. This isn’t—

It’s dark. A warden sniffs. A shrieker howls. Stone becomes sinew becomes skulk becomes shadow becomes smoke becomes a soul. The Dungeon Master wrenches open his sightless eyes, and the Dungeon sees—

(Buildings aren’t meant to have panic attacks. Neither are dungeons. Nor games. But Decked Out is not a game, never really has been, and Tango—)

Joe and Hypno stare in bafflement at the flickering availability metre outside of the dungeon. “Tango, fix your game!” Hypno cries, and—

Ha.

Here’s a better question: when did Tango become Decked Out?

[northern-passage]

Hello! I have a few questions as someone who takes great inspiration from brilliant works of interaction fiction and similar methods of storytelling. I hope you don’t mind me asking!

1. If there something that draws you to the current format of interactive fiction storytelling rather than something such as a visual novel? Do you enjoy it more, is it less costly, easier for you, etc…?

2. What are some of the most prevalent difficulties in writing within the medium?

3. What do you wish you knew before you began writing interactive fiction?

Keep up the incredible work, I always love seeing what you post and create <3

ohhh these are fun questions :-) thank you!

question 1: i actually tried to do a visual novel first! but it is a LOT of work. i managed to do some sprites and a few backgrounds before i gave up. if i was to try and do it again i'd have to pay another artist to join me which just isn't feasible for me right now. i suppose the things i like about IF could be applied to VNs too, but i like what interactive fiction adds to whatever narrative you're trying to tell. the medium itself is a part of the story, if that makes sense. it can't exist without the main character who can't exist without a player to guide them. i like giving the player choices & i like taking them away. i like how vast the genre is, and i like seeing how other people use the mechanics and code to pull off some really interesting & unique stories.

question 2: hmmm i think what gets hard for me is just fatigue... when you write big branching narratives, you have to write a lot of tedious shit, hahaha. like currently with blood choke i've been working on the same conversation for about 3 weeks. there are dozens of variations of it, depending on who the mc is, what choices they've made, and how the other character feels about them, and whether or not the mc went with her or went with someone else means the conversation has to be shuffled around elsewhere in the chapter, and it's all extremely extremely tedious. it feels like you're writing so much, but it's literally just one conversation, one scene in the entire chapter. but you have to write it about 20 times. so it's easy in IF to run out of steam very quickly. i definitely think that's what happened with me with tnp, i hit a huge block after writing all of the combat variations in ch2, i was just so exhausted & knowing that i would have to write even more complex scenes at the end of the chapter accounting for all of it was very demoralizing. BUT i feel like my long break has helped quite a bit and i am excited to get back into tnp next month 😈

question 3: this one is tough... i'm not really sure, to be honest. i've been here for a while now and i feel pretty comfortable for the most part. i was a reader & a lurker before i started writing so i got to see a lot of the way other readers treat writers before i became one, which was helpful for me. i think if i could go back i'd tell myself that this was going to be a way bigger project than i anticipated. and also tell myself that this is my hobby and i should be having fun, not stressing or worrying about making money or pleasing other people. of course i want people to like my work and i appreciate their support, but that shouldn’t be the only reason why i'm writing… i’m writing because i want to.

[bcbdrums]

🍓🕯️🔪

"🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction?"

well. one day in 2004 when visiting my cousin in the hospital after her car accident. i missed an episode of Bonanza, due to...you know, being at the hospital. this was back in ye olden days of TV guides, recording things on VCR's, and....no....wikis.... not like we have now. no sites to tell you everything, no screencaps, no youtube... and ye olde dial-up internet days. and anyway.... the TV guide descrip made that episode sound thrilling. and...and i just had to know!

and i knew... i remember, knowing in my heart. that if i went online and tried to find out what happened. i'd never get off the computer again. well, i was right. the short conclusion to this tale is i found specific Bonanza fansites loaded with fanfiction!!! and i devoured it. i wanna say within the same month? i was hand-writing fanfic in spiral notebooks for Bonanza. still have that spiral notebook and that unfinished fic, literally locked in a treasure chest. and i still remember the entire plot, what i planned to do with it... yeah.

no, i never did find out what was in that episode i missed/didn't get to record... like i said, no wikis or anything of that nature... (we had to leave from school that day so i didn't get to go home and program the VCR; i'd not known that morning we'd be going to the hospital later.) and they didn't re-run the episode again... so i've still not seen it... but, i started writing fanfic that summer. a defining moment in my life. and yes, my cousin is well!

"🕯️ ⇢ on a scale from 1 to 10, how much do you enjoy editing? why is that?"

ohhh, hmmm... idk if i could scale it. maybe right in the middle, a 5 or 6? this will make more sense if i describe my process perhaps.

so if i'm really in the writing zone, i just...plow ahead until i'm finished. and then i go back and edit. when i'm "in the zone" oftentimes i don't see things that could genuinely be improved by better phrasing, better language choices... they just elude me cuz i'm so hyperfixated on the story and it's so clear in my head, so, of course it's great on the page! (example: Forfeit was written this way.) usually i then just quickly fix obvious typos/grammar things and toss the fic into the void. then i'll return a few months later when it's no longer fresh, and then see soooo many things that could be better, and depending on my mood i'll go back and heavily edit, or, i won't.

the other process... if i'm not "in the zone" usually i write a few lines, get stuck, and to get myself unstuck i go back and edit what i've done. fixing things, adding things... and usually once those few lines are edited i have the next ones ready to be written in my head. it's a slower process overall.

editing for other people is a whole different ball game. i love doing that (as long as i'm in the mood/have the energy/time) because it helps me refine my writing craft too, in trying to assist someone with a totally different style than mine. it's great. and i've edited/beta-read for so many diff people now with such a variety of styles it's really making me more aware of my own, and how it's changed over the years. and i also just enjoy helping people.

the idea of something getting better just appeals to me i guess. it's a good feeling, it's productive. so in that sense, i enjoy editing. if i feel really stuck on a project, then it can become just another slow-down however. that would be the only negative i suppose.

"🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?"

haha, already answered this in a prior ask but i'll choose a different one.

i spent days learning how to waltz properly. all the techniques, and the process by which one learns... to write one character teaching another character, very, very methodically. and apparently i did it well, i received a comment about it from someone who actually waltzes professionally if i remember correctly who was very pleased with my writing of it! can i waltz? or dance at all? no, no i cannot. but i could probably talk someone else through how to learn!

thank you SO much for the ask!!! ^_^

[artsyunderstudy]

Happy New Year! 

I want to open with saying thanks to everyone in this amazing fandom, both the creators and the cheerleaders, because all of you make it an incredibly fun and warm place to be.  I’ve consumed and created so much this year it’s hard to narrow things down to my favorites, but damn it all, I’m going to try. 

We Still Bloom (T, 18.4k)

The Mirrors that Hold Us (E, 70.4k)

Sixty Seconds (T, 2.8k)

What Lies Behind Doorways (M, 10.8k)

A Mild Case of Madness (M, 22.6k, WIP)

Meet Me Under the Mistletoe (T, 4.7k)

Every One With You (M, 5.3k)

What We Crave (E, 9.3k)

Touch Starved (E, 5k)

Here in the Dark (E, 4.7k)

Total: 9 complete fics, 1 fic in progress

Word count: 154k

Favorite story this year?  Not the most popular, but the one that makes you the happiest?

We Still Bloom, definitely not my most popular but it was my personal favorite.

Okay, now your most popular story?

Sixty Seconds, which was unfathomable to me because I wrote it in two days (though it was HEAVILY edited over a week) and it’s very short, very simple, and VERY fluffy. And I was so terrified while posting it because I didn't know if it was any good at all.  But apparently fluff is the business I should be in because the two fluffiest fics I wrote were much better received than I originally expected.  (The other is Meet me Under the Mistletoe.)

Story most underappreciated by the universe?

I wouldn’t say We Still Bloom is "underappreciated", but it’s the one I’m most proud of but has the least amount of kudos, which honestly I understand.  It’s angsty, its sad and tense the whole way through.   And while I personally enjoy stuff like that, not everyone does.  But I think it’s some of my best writing, and has a really lovely conclusion. The whole point of it was to explore why they love one another, and how. And honestly how hard it is to accept love, sometimes.

Story that could have been better?

I’m generally the most critical of my longer works, because they take a lot of planning, and even if pieces are really good there is pacing and build-up and the overall flow to consider.  So I think Mirrors could have been better?  It was my first long fic for the fandom, and honestly the first long thing I’ve written in a decade, so I’m overall proud of it and happy with it.  But I’m sure it could have been a lot better.

Sexiest story?

Touch Starved is the hottest thing I’ve written, I’m pretty sure.  (Here in the Dark is a close second, they are both PWP lol)  It’s one fic where I allowed myself to go a little darker and filthier, since usually I tend toward tender intimacy/emotions over sexiness.  Though TS has a lot of both, it definitely lets itself just be a horny little fic.

Saddest story?

Mirrors?  Probably?  It depends on what makes you sad, but that story is mired in grief which is sad.  But What Lies Behind Doorways is sad in that it’s about Baz dealing with PTSD alone, and We Still Bloom is about Baz loving Simon without a lot of hope, and breakup angst always hits ME the hardest.  So, I dunno.  Take your pick.  I write a lot of sad shit.

Most fun?

A Mild Case of Madness has been so much fun.  I didn’t think I could be funny.  Like, I’m funny IRL, but I’ve never tried to write anything funny.  It’s not hilarious by any means, but it’s got this sassy energy I don’t think a lot of my other stuff has.  It’s been so much fun to write.  (I NEED TO FINISH IT)

Story with the single sweetest moment?

I have … no idea.  Probably every hug in Sixty Seconds, or the last hug??  The whole thing is about comfort hugs, it’s the definition of saccharine.

Hardest story to write?

We Still Bloom was written very very quickly, but only after MONTHS of fussing over it.  I thought that fic to death, and there was a point I was wondering if I’d ever be able to actually write it, so it was definitely a challenge.  Once I had the plan, though, I feverishly wrote it in only a couple weeks. 

Easiest/most fun story to write?

Meet Me Under the Mistletoe was very quick and easy to write.  It’s just a bunch of kissing! 

Most overdue story?

Well clearly it’s A Mild Case of Madness.

Did you take any writing risks this year?  What did you learn from them?

Everything feels like a risk, honestly.  Maybe What We Crave was the biggest risk, and I still feel really conflicted about it?  It also happens to be my least favorite fic of the year.  If I had known what it would end up being, I probably would have planned more, and maybe I wouldn’t have posted it at all.  I don’t know.  Mmm.  On a more positive note I am glad I took the risk and got outside of my comfort zone. I do think parts of it are really good, specifically the final chapter.

Coming back to edit because I need to add Sixty Seconds, I challenged myself with brevity for this fic and I have to say it was absolutely a great experience even if it felt risky. It taught me a lot about how to make cuts and really narrow down the narrative to its more important components, something I definitely struggle with.

This year's theme and the story that demonstrates it?

I tend to focus on emotional intimacy in pretty much everything I write.  Most of my stories revolve around the exploration of that intimacy or striving to correct intimacy that’s missing, like Baz finally opening up about his trauma to Simon in What Lies Behind Doorways, or Simon recognizing and pushing beyond his fear of loss in We Still Bloom.  Then, the way intimacy helps them to express themselves and get closer, like the comfort sex in Every One with You, the hugs in Sixty Seconds, and the way Baz touches Simon and allows himself to be touched in Touch Starved.  Intimacy, intimacy, intimacy.

I drew a ton of art this year, so I'm just going to highlight a few favorites. ♥

I just joined this fandom in March and I have read so, so, so much fic. it's not going to be possible to highlight all my favorites in this post, so I just want to preface this by say if I kudosed, commented or bookmarked any of your fics, I loved them. That being said, here are my top 10 completed fics and top 5 WIPS, and my apologies if they weren't all written this year. I tried, but like I said. I read so much.

Completed

Ready or Not by @bookish-bogwitch (E, 20.7k)

Baker boxer teacher grief (Or: The thing that lasts) by @chen-chen-chen-again-chen (E, 21.3k)

Snow, Baz, and the Seven Bunces by LakeWitch (M, 54k)

London Loves Us Only by imjusthereforthefreefood (E, 47.6k)

Restoration Ecology by @captain-aralias (E, 51k)

What's Left by @cutestkilla (M, 133.8k)

when the dust settles (you'll come home to me) by @diningpagentry (E, 65.8k)

Where the Sand Meets the Sea by @amywaterwings (T, 76.5k)

A Light from Miles Away and A Light From Within by @stillmadaboutpetra (T, 67k and 60k)

The Space In Between by @whatevertheweather (M, 101.1k)

WIP

What Remains After The Storm by @hushed-chorus (M, 14.7k)

Depth of Reason by @you-remind-me-of-the-babe (M, 22.7k)

A Dangerous Affinity by @larkral (T, 67.8k)

Every little helps by @nightimedreamersworld (E, 28.6k)

More Than Friends by @fatalfangirl (E, 6.3k)

Comment more and do more fic rec posts. ♥♥

Finish a new fic over 70k

Be kinder to myself and stop being so self-critical. Enjoy the process.

Participate in more fests

Make more fandom friends ♥ There are so many amazing people here and I would really love to get to know you all better.

Here's to 2023! So excited for what's ahead. ♥

[bluespring864]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you @yoellglia, @kingfisherprince and @shambolicchaos for tagging me even though I haven't done one of these in months, I appreciate it <3 And look at this, I am actually doing a tag game.

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 57. How did that happen.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

418,066. Some of those 57 are pretty long ;-)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Well I won't list them all, we'll be here tomorrow. The published ones are mainly: Tatort, Good Omens, Potter, Tennis RPF, Skating RPF and a few Music RPFs. There's an awful lot of WiPs from Sherlock Holmes to Poirot to Star Trek to Oasis to Austen to various Panel Shows to Les Miz to The Hobbit and back again though. Plus WiPs for all the published fandoms. Sigh.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Alright this is going to be a trip down memory lane, seeing as I'm mostly active in very niche fandoms these days. Also, this statistic is perhaps skewed by the fact that lots of my fics are in German (a few nearly made it onto the list though!) and my RPF is locked (for registered users only).

Days in the Sun: Tops the list by a very long way. Harry Potter. A Snape/Hermione post war fic published in 2018. I'm a different writer these days but I still like lots of things about it.

To Trust in One Another: Good Omens. Aziraphale/Crowley post Season 1. I remember the response to this overwhelming me at the time, I had never gotten so many comments so quickly after posting and haven't since. This fandom is so lovely (and filled with writers!).

To those who wait, eventually: Harry Potter. Snape/McGonagall. I love this pairing and this story. And while I am very surprised that both the Potter Fics I actually published are het, I am not surprised they both feature Severus Snape.

Almost Too Kind, or: Prometo: Figure Skating RPF. Yuzu/Javi. I still like the Yuzu POV, although I think I've perhaps written more interesting skating stories, but this was obviously the most popular parinig at the time. Hence the amount of kudos I guess.

Language Barrier Sidestepped: Figure Skating RPF. Yuzu/Javi. This one surprised me because it's just a silly fluffy oneshot. But with some language nerdship in the title and the story (that part is less surprising, if you know me)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Always, and sometimes too verbosely :D I like a good comment discussion and I have made friends that way.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Angsty endings? Me? I would if I could. Maybe some day. I guess the angstiest one is this unrequited love drabble in the Tatort Münster Fandom.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Well, most of them have pretty happy endings, I think.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not so far. Most of the comments I get are really nice. I can remember only a handful slightly weird ones over the years.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

No one is more surprised than me, but yes. In my case, it's usually part of a story and has a function in the story. But it can be pretty graphic because it's weird to me to treat sex as something to gloss over. That being said, sometimes a story decides on a fade to black. On the other end of the spectrum, I've also come pretty close to writing PwP, depending on your definition of it.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Never written one, very rarely read them.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

People have asked for permission several times and I always grant it (of course I do) but I don't think I've ever gotten a link to a finished translation (which I always ask for). I get it though, some of my stories are pretty long and I know all about the difficulties of translation :-)

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

It's not finished but I hope we can get back to it @kingfisherprince! I might not always be the easiest person to work with, but I thoroughly enjoyed it so far.

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

I don't have one, I write whatever pairing is interesting to me. And would love to write more gen fic if inspiration strikes. The concept of an OTP used to make no senses to me either, though I guess I've come close with Novandy in the Tennis fandom. I still write lots of other stuff in that fandom though.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I have trouble going back to the Potter stuff for various reasons. Would love to finish a Snarry which is already at almost 30k but doubt I will. I also have a Poirot/Hastings case fic I really want to finish but (see writing weaknesses)

16. What are your writing strengths?

I'm not sure. I hope Í write realistic relationships that make sense in the story. I try to write clear prose that's not too cluttered (I don't always succeed). Sometimes with my longer fics I've managed to slightly miraculously tie things together, which is amazing to me when it happens but I can't control that at all.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I sometimes overexplain. I tend to forget about 'setting the scene' descriptions now and then. And the big one: I can't plot for the life of me, I write as I go along, which isn't always a problem but definitely is when you try to write a murder mystery (I've got an unfinished Poirot one and an unfinished Tatort Münster one which I would love to continue).

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I like it, though I tend to use it relatively sparingly and either add translations or try to make it clear in other ways in the text what was being said (a translation degree comes in handy for this).

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Well the first time I tried writing fic it was Kirk/Spock but the first thing I finished and published was Tatort Münster.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Don't do this to me. The answer will be different every day, I think, and for lots of reasons. This is not me being pretentious (I hope), because I would have just as much trouble choosing my favourite song or book etc. Let's pick Two and Two Together for today because I never would have thought I'd write a 42k poly fic, but here we are. I think we've established I sometimes surprise myself.

Tagging: I think most of the writers on my dash have been tagged... but maybe @bonos-grindcore-sideproject and @advantage-sinner and @savageandwise and @all-my-worlds-a-stage if you want to do it?

[malleleothreesome]

Update on my 12 Days of TWSTmas Prompt Request Event

Hey everyone! I'm gonna try to keep this short cause I feel like I talk too much and it makes my posts unreadable lol

TLDR: I will continue to fulfill your requests throughout the year.

The past 12 days, I have written over 20,000 words (12,000 of which got posted) across 4 different WIPs and 2 posted fics. I really wish I could have posted more, but I am a perfectionist, and I also put my blood, sweat, and tears into each and every thing I post. Even if you sent me only 3 words for your request, chances are, thats gonna be 4k words from me. If you sent me a sentence with some backstory, thats probably another 4k words from me. That's just the type of writer I am—so I'm not efficient at pumping things out quickly, but I hope the quality of my work makes up for that fact! Hopefully, I can get these 4 WIPs out for you guys this January, but I need to keep putting hours into them to get to a place where I'm happy with the story. I'm doing my best!

I have A LOT of requests in my inbox. A lot of amazing, well thought out, exciting requests that I want to keep working on. I want everyone who sent me a request ask to know how much it means to me that you are interested in my work and took the time to send me your ideas.

My number one goal of this year is to keep writing. Writing fics the past few months has been the most fulfilling thing I've done in my 20s (and I'm 27 lmfao) so pretty much when I'm not in my 9 to 5, I want to be writing.

I still can't guarantee if I will get to your request (or when, considering how many hours I put in to each request) but I can promise that if I do get to your request, I will give it my all to bring your vision to life and create a story that was hopefully worth waiting for!

My ask box will always remain open for your ideas (related to or unrelated to the prompts I posted, I'll welcome anything!) as long as you understand I may not be able to fulfill your request. Most of the time, I can only work on things I'm really passionate about. So if you happen to send me something that really sparks my interest, I could very well get it out to you within a week hahaha, but it all depends.

[fabfemmeboy]

One of the things that strikes me, looking back, is both how long it took to get marriage equality and then how quickly it happened.

Like...we got married in 2008, as part of that pre-prop 8 cohort where it was legal in California for 3 months.  I still get instinctively angry thinking about election night 2008; everyone else was celebrating tolerance and diversity and I was refreshing state returns and watching my marriage be dissolved in the most liberal state in the country.  

(Turned out it didn’t actually dissolve my marriage because the writers of the legislation didn’t know what the hell they were doing, so it wasn’t retroactive.  But they tried, and there was a whole court case about whether we + 18,000 other couples were still married.)

So from 6/2008-1/2013, we were simultaneously legally married and not legally married.  If we had lived in California, we would have had state marriage rights but we lived in Maryland, which at the time didn’t recognize same-sex marriages.  We had to get really creative when my partner applied to school because he was under 27 and “not married” so he needed his parents’ information for FAFSA, but his parents had literally taken him to conversion camp on his birthday so we didn’t talk to them.  We did all our taxes with him as a random dependent member of my household.  And every time I filled out forms from HR, like insurance or whatever, my first question was “Where is this being adjudicated?”  Because in some states, I was allowed to list him as my partner.  In others I had to list him as a random beneficiary.  I remember I was all excited when it turned out that one of our policies was out of Iowa, which had just recognized marriage equality, so I got to list him as my legal spouse.  Oh, and the HR director was uber-religious and got mad at me every time I asked and just said “Write what’s true!”  Well, it’s true that I’m married and I have the certificate to prove it, but this is a law office and you’re HR so you know damn well it’s not that simple.

Then Maryland started recognizing out-of-state marriages if they were valid when performed.  So our taxes that year were weird.  We were single in the eyes of the Federal government, but married in the eyes of the state. So we (like countless other taxpayers) had to do two sets of tax returns: the federal ones we actually filed, and a “dummy federal” that showed what our numbers would have been if we’d been considered married, so we could use those numbers to put on our state returns.   By that point, lots of states (mostly California, New England, and Iowa) had people in the same situation.  And I still had to ask “what state is this form for?” for everything, but at least I was at a job where the HR person wasn’t so awful.

Then on 6/26/13, DOMA was struck down (and so was Prop 8, which I actually celebrated harder because it was Personal).  So for our 2014 taxes, we just did one set as we were federally married.  And originally people in states that didn’t recognize their marriage were supposed to still be unmarried for federal taxes, but the Obama administration said you could file as married anyway, so people had to still do dummy returns - only this time with federal-married and state-unmarried.

it took another 2 years before it was finally just legal.  Everywhere.  

In reality, it wasn’t all that long.  Universal marriage equality nationwide was ordered the day before our 7th anniversary.  But it felt like a lifetime.  And that’s nothing compared to the people who had a handful of domestic partnerships or civil unions beforehand because states kept changing their minds, or who got married in the 2004 window in California (which was much shorter than the 2008 window).  And the roughly 8 years since marriage equality was ordered nationwide feels like another lifetime - like we’ve had it forever, even though (for perspective) it had been in place for fewer than 5 years before the pandemic hit.  Time is so fucking weird.

[plentyoffandoms]

hi, love your writing.

TW: mention of SH, drugs and alcohol dependance

I would like to request a Jon Moxley x F!reader x Ex-boyfriend!Seth Rollins, where Seth broke her heart and she leaves WWE to join AEW and her and Jon (+ Eddie) reunite. But he quickly sees that she's not over her heartbreak (weird marks on her arms, she is always drunk and/or high) and Jon and Eddie try everything to make her happy but along the way Jon and Reader fall in love

Jon Moxley x f/Reader x ex!Seth Rollins

Main Masterlist ♡ AEW Masterlist ♡ Jon Moxley Masterlist

Just like all my other stories, this has not been proofread, but please enjoy.

Warnings: Some swearing. Self-harm, drug & alcohol dependence.

Gifs & photos do not belong to me. 1st gif @jonmoxleys 2nd gif @allelitewrestlings 3rd @ricochetthegoat

Thank you for loving my writing & I hope you like this.

Colby - Seth Rollins

Summary: f/Reader has left the WWE after a bad breakup from Seth Rollins. Tony Khan has offered her a job at AEW & reconnects with Jon Moxley & Eddie Kingston, but she is hiding something from her friends.

Jon Moxley's POV:

The moment I saw YN standing there talking to Tony Khan, I knew something was off about her.

Her smile didn't quite reach her eyes. She was wearing long shirts even though it is very hot right now because it is the middle of summer.

YN didn't want to hang out after shows or conventions and she was always up for a good time.

That was before her break up with Colby.

The two of them dated for years and everyone who knew them, myself included, thought they were going to get married.

But then rumours began to spread that Colby was stepping out on YN. I even asked him if it was true and he said he wasn't.

That he could never do that to her. But he was lying to me and everyone else who asked him.

The moment the news of him cheating on YN with Becky came to light, I tried calling her to see if she needed anything.

But YN never returned my calls. The last thing I heard was that she quit WWE and has hardly made an appearance since.

But about seven months ago when I saw her standing there, I hugged her with all my might and told her how happy I am to see her.

She hugged me tight too, telling me how much she missed me. Then we heard Eddie calling for her and he came and joined us.

The three of us went to dinner that night and I didn't notice then how she kept asking for another drink right after her glass would be empty.

But I sure as hell noticed when we would go out and she would buy a bunch of shots and they would all be for her.

I just figured she was just having a good time, so I didn't bring it up, but Eddie did.

Their conversation and their fight that happened after said conversation still pops into my mind from time-to-time.

"YN, maybe you should slow down a bit," Eddie said to her. YN pretended to ignore him as she downed two more shots. So he repeated himself once more.

"Mind your business, Eddie. Damn, you don't see me saying anything to you about how much you fuckin' smoke." YN slurred her words.

The two of them went back and forth, getting louder and louder until she threw her drink in his face.

I quickly got behind YN and held her arms behind her back as she was reaching for another drink to throw at him.

Then she looked at her phone as it lit up indicating that she got a notification. I let her go when I felt she was calm enough.

She gave Eddie the finger as she passed him and the two of them haven't spoken since then.

Since that night, it has seemed like she has pulled herself away from the two of us. She comes to work and does what she needs to do, and then she is gone.

Eddie has tried to talk to her, to apologise for that night and their fight, but she just ignores him.

I have tried too as well, but she just tells me she doesn't want to talk about it, so I let it slide.

When I don't bring up her odd behaviour, YN is fine, almost like her old self before the breakup, which I have asked her if she wants to talk about it.

I saw the pained expression come over her face when I last brought it up, but her expression quickly went back to being normal.

"Jon, honey, I am fine. I am trying to move on from Colby."

"I know but," she placed her finger against my lips to shush me.

"There is no buts. I have to work past this myself." I knew she was right, but I wanted to be there for her.

YN's POV:

I looked at myself in the mirror and just sighed as I brought the bottle to my lips and chugged the beer. 'Another day, another shitty day.' I thought to myself.

I left the bathroom and looked around the hotel room, looking at all the empty bottles of alcohol that I had all over the place.

It was almost check-out time and if I left the place like this, the housekeeping may complain and I don't want that.

Actually I don't want it to get back to anyone from AEW who pays for my accommodations, so with a heavy head, I clean as best as I could.

But I have to stop and rush to the bathroom to throw up the contents of my stomach and the vomit seems to burn even worse than usual.

I laid my head on cool, bathroom floor and curled into myself, wondering once again how I have fallen so far.

'That's right because of Colby and Becky.'

Just the thought of them had me reaching for the small bag I keep on the bathroom counter.

I opened the bag and pull out the small razer blade, looked at it and brought it to my skin. Leaving a new mark on me, hoping I will feel something this time.

But I felt nothing as I cried as I held up my arms and saw the blood dripping down them.

In the haze of my tears and thoughts, I heard my phone ringing. I recognised the ring tone and new it was Jon.

"Hello?" I answered as normal as I could.

"YN, are you okay? You sound like you have been crying."

"No, no I am good Jon. Just stubbed my toe."

"Okay, well I am waiting downstairs with Eddie. We have to leave soon and we won't leave with out you."

I almost scowled when he said Eddie was with him but I didn't. I knew Eddie was just being a friend and looking out for me.

"I'll be done there soon. Just gonna shower quickly and tell Eddie I say hi."

I got ready as fast as I could and went down to the main lobby to see if what Jon said was true and yup, they are still there.

Eddie gave me a hug and we apologised to one another. I knew he was just looking out for me.

Jon was standing to the side, with his arms crossed smiling at the two of us. I felt my stomach flutter and my face heat up when I saw him looking at us.

I cleared my throat and pulled away from Eddie. Jon put his arm across my shoulders and leaned down and kissed the top of my head.

I felt the fluttering once again in my stomach and I just pushed it aside as the three of us left the hotel and on to our next destination.

~

Whenever I saw Jon after that, I felt the same fluttering in my stomach and I would sometimes turn into a bubblering mess.

But I soon learned to push my developing feelings away and focus on myself and just having a good time with my friends.

In every city we go to know, the three of us are always doing something. We see the local attractions, go to the amusement parks, shop and eat at the best restaurants that we want to try.

Being with Jon and Eddie has made me want to work on myself and I have been trying to cut back on smoking and drinking.

Thinking I can do it myself, but I found that I still needed it to function. Like right now for example.

There is a wrestling convention going on and I was standing outside, with a joint between my fingers. Just trying to smoke enough that I can handle today, but I am already waiting to head down to the nearest bar and drink.

I was about to head back inside when I saw the two of them walking towards me. Before I knew it, I found myself pulling my phone out of my pocket and looking for the closest bar.

I had to get away from everyone, but I sure as hell can not be in the same building as Colby and Becky.

Jon Moxley's POV:

I am sitting next to Eddie and the spot next to me is empty. Eddie and I were both looking at our phones, wondering where the hell she is.

We both tried calling her and texting. No response.

"Where the hell is she?" I asked him probably for the fourth time.

"I don't know Jon, but she said she would be here and YN always keeps her word." I was going to respond to him when the first fan came up.

Have to focus now on this but YN wasn't too far from my mind.

~

Break time, finally.

I told Eddie I would try to find her, but as I went to go searching for YN, I felt my phone vibrate and I looked at the screen and saw that is from YN.

In between the many added letters, there was a name of a Bar and saw that it wasn't far.

I practically ran to it and the smell of weed and smoke invaded my nose once I opened the door.

I looked around the dark room and saw that YN was at the jukebox, wobbling back and forth.

"Let's get you home YN," I said to her when I got to her. YN looked up at me and her eyes were glossy.

"Come on, time for some food and coffee," I said to her gently. I grasped her wrist and pulled her towards me, but with how drunk she was, YN stumbled into me.

"I'm fine Jon." YN slurred as she tried to push me away.

"I know you are but why don't we leave here, just you and I huh?" YN pushed away from me and I watched as she went to a table in the corner and sat down.

"Come on YN, we have to go." I tried to coax her once more. "I will get your favourite food and chocolate bar?" That had her interest.

It was at that moment I realised she wasn't wearing her usual long shirt or jacket. Even in this dim lighting, I can see the new and faded marks and scars on her arms.

My heart broke when I could finally see what the hell she has been hiding from everyone.

"Let's go home, love." I softly said to YN as I helped her stand and held her against my side as we left.

~

I took her straight to my hotel room and had as much food and coffee delivered to my room.

I called Tony and told him that YN was out sick and that is why she wasn't there and why she wasn't answering her phone earlier. That I became worried about her and went to her room and found her sleeping. I don't know if he believed me but he just said okay.

I did call Eddie and I told him what is going on and that I will be staying with her.

YN ate as much as she could and went straight to sleep afterwards. I checked on her periodically to make sure she was okay.

I knew she would wake up and be running for the bathroom or look for a garbage can and I will be right here to help her.

~

YN didn't even see me when she woke up, running to the bathroom. I winced when I heard that sound of her throwing up.

But then I heard her scream when she realised she wasn't in her room. The bathroom door flung open and YN was standing there with a wild look in her eyes.

Tag List: if you would like to be added, please let me know. @lghockey @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch @anaeve @crowleysqueenofhell @thenerdybaker523 @nicoleveno14 @cashwheelersgirl89 @1rsolideranna @legit9thlunaticwarrior @damnnhausen @wwenhlimagines @blaquekittycat

"It's me YN. Calm down. It's all okay."

It was like once her vision cleared as well as her mind, she realised where she was. She gave a slight yelp and slammed the door in my face.

"YN," I called out her name.

"Go away Jon. Leave me alone."

"I can't do that and you know that." I could hear her slide down the door and sit on the ground.

"I'm not going anywhere YN." I sat on the bed and patiently waited for her to leave the bathroom.

~

One hour and she hasn't even said another word, but this is getting ridiculous. "Come on YN, you may as well leave bathroom. I'm not going anywhere."

Silence.

I sighed once more. "I am just here if you want to talk. I won't say a word."

"Promise?" Came the meek voice.

"Yes YN, I promise. Now come on out and join me on the bed."

I didn't move or make a sound when I finally saw her tear-stained face appear.

YN joined me on the bed and I waited for her to talk, but she was rubbing her arms up and down and was biting her lip, but I didn't dare make a sound.

Then she started to speak and it all came out of her. Her dependence on booze and drugs to get through the day. The self-harm and she showed me her arms and her inner thighs.

I wanted to say something but I knew if I interrupt her she may not continue.

"I need help, Jon. I want to get help." I pulled her into my arms and rubbed her back as she cried into my chest.

"I am here for you YN."

~

After that day, YN took time off of work to work on herself and Eddie and I were along for the ride.

He and I both took time off as well and we were there for YN whenever she needed us.

There was lots of screaming and yelling between YN and Eddie and at first I thought he just had a crush on her and was acting out like that.

I could feel myself getting jealous at times so I causally brought it up to Eddie...or as casual as I could get.

"You like YN?" I asked him as he was taking a sip of his water. The two of us have decided to give up alcohol to help YN with her recovery.

He almost chocked as water came spitting out of his mouth. "What?" He asked me between coughs.

"Just wondering is all."

"No, I look at her as a sister." Then it was like a light went off in his head.

"You like her? You, Jonathan Good!"

"Will you shut up. Yes, you happy."

"Absolutely you jackass. Just ask her out."

"When she is trying to recover? No, YN may think I am trying to take advantage of her."

"No harm in trying Jon."

I let what Eddie said to me stew for a few days and just thought about it. I could see YN act different between Eddie and I so I figured I will try.

So once she and I were alone, I just blurted it out, with absolutely no thought process behind it.

"Want to go out?"

"I thought that is what we are doing Jon?" YN said and she isn't wrong. We were heading to dinner, just the two of us.

"No, like on a date." She stopped walking and looked at me and she was angry.

"I don't need your pity Jon."

"This isn't pity YN. Fuck, I like you okay? I did before you got with Colby and still do."

"Wait, what? Why didn't you say anything?"

"I didn't want to lose our friendship and you were happy but I get if you still want to be friends."

"Jon, I would like that very much."

"Which one? The date or friends?" I asked her, confused.

"The date. I tried to push my feelings aside for you and I was about to ask you out soon."

"Really?"

"Really. Eddie brought it up to me and he said I should ask you out."

"Of course he did, he did the same thing to me," I said to her with a smile on my face. I put my arm across her shoulders and the two of us went on our first date.

Who would have thought it would be Eddie Moore that would be our cupid?

[ganondoodle]

Hey, I adore your artstyle mate, I loveeee all the vivid colors and the fact that most of it lacks lines?? You doing the hard stuff, but it paying off 💜

can I ask, as I’d like to get into comic making, how long does it take you to finish a a single panel?

Hi!! thank you very much!! drawing lineart is incredibly frustrating to me so im very glad i was able to make the jump to mostly lineless artwork, tho im very much still at the beginning to learn how to do it xD

to answer your question, i .. cant say really, it depends on what is on the panel, and i always jump around when working on a page, i draw half of the very last panel, then jump to another, maybe i see something i want to change right away and work on the third besides i ... dont know anything about panel composition, i think in movies so i play it and try to pause it on a frame that could work as a panel, whichs is probably why it goes alot slower than normal comics, idk how much to skip gndfjknvgfdjk

im by no means an expert in making comics, you kinda have to find your own way of what works for you, i have done many in the past but all failed, i gave up before getting even one chapter done many times

general advice i can give you is, most importantly, dont wait, i know its daunting to start, but you have to start, even if you dont think you are good enough, you will always change and improve anyway, better start now or you might do it never, and remember, when a page is done its done, i know how tempting it is to go back and redo it, but if you start with that it will only lead to an endless cycle of remaking it over and over

a cause that made me abandon my old projects, was partly lack of support/recognition, but mostly that i was forcing myself to things that werent fun, like one i made in black and white bc i thought you had to do it bc color takes too long, but i live for colors, so it drained the fun out of it immediately

the only "rules" i have set for myself is that its understandable, the flow of the action doesnt flip around too much, speech bubbles are aligned in a way that guides you (of course im not perfect at that either and always learn); i dont jump between pages, i jump between working on panels, but i dont start another page before the previous is at least acceptable, otherwise id get ahead of myself and get impatient, just wanting to skip ahead and neglect older pages; and that i only work on a panel/page as long as it has acceptable quality and is fun to draw, when i notice im getting bored or frustrated i finish it quickly as best as i can and move on, otherwise it might drag the entire project down, which is why each panel or page in 'Destiny' varies alot in quality

i can barely look at the first pages .. or even at the last one i made for that matter, but its also fascinating, how much my art changes within even one update which takes me about a month for 4 pages, since i have set my 'fun' rules at least, it used to take much longer (i wish i was faster, and i could be, but i have a job, and have to look out for my health, both physically and mentally, so i take whatever time i need and draw however much i feel like drawing, no rushing)

my progress so far is that i write a rough script, what happens, what dialog, where it ends, and so on, it doesnt have to sound good, god knows mine are shitty xD but its a good guideline, even if rough! then i make a rough draft, basic panel layout, dialog (it always changes fro mthe script, again its more liek a guideline than a rule ;) ) then i start with actually drawing the first page, my art and way of .. art and writing changes incredibly fast (idk if its for the better lol) so .. by that point i redraw the rough draft version of the page if i see how it works better, rewrite dialog too, and even cut stuff from the rough draft

im not done with the first chapter (im slow af lol), but wrote the script for the second one when my hand was injured and i couldnt draw for a month, once im done with this chapter i will draw the rough draft for ch2, then write the script for ch3 then go and draw ch2 fully, at least thats the plan the more time passes the more i know what the next chapters are gonna be, tho i know the important points long before; right now i have the entirety of the first arc sepeareted into chapters, and the end of it all too, but between there its still a lil blurry and im adjusting everytime i think of soemthing better

anyway, sorry for that long ass ramble, its late and i thoguht about this ask bc im trying to get my want to draw back (not feeling well rn nkfdnkd) so i randomly decided to answer it .. probably in the most unhelpful way possible, alot of stuff noone aksed for lol

anyway, sorry, and goodnight uwu

[dean-winchester-is-a-warrior]

You Really Tickle Me

Summary: Dean discovers Y/N’s ticklish side and shows no mercy!

Warnings: Explicit 18+: None really, bit of kissing and making out. Endless tickling, just lots of fluffy fun. 💓

Pairings: Dean x Y/N

Word Count: 726

A/N: This was a request from @winchesterfanatic1967 for my 1K Follower Celebration. Thank you so much for sending this one - it was a lot of fun to write! Hope it’s what you were looking for, my dear! 

The beautiful divider below and at the bottom were created by @talesmaniac89

Masterlist || Tag Lists

You’d always been very ticklish, everywhere. Under your knees and arms, your feet, inner thighs, and ribs were all easy targets for wandering fingers. But nowhere was as bad as your neck. Depending on the day, even someone just adjusting a necklace for you, or folding down your collar, could cause you to screech and turtle your neck into your shoulders.

But Dean hadn’t realized just how ticklish you were until about a month into dating.  You were watching a movie one night, cuddled up in his bed.  He had his arm slung over your waist and he was pressed up behind you, as close to you as he could get.

The movie was fairly boring and you’d both started paying more attention to each other.  You relished the feel of his hard, warm body all along yours. He was letting his fingers explore, figuring out just where to apply pressure to coax breathy sighs, or even better, whiny moans from your throat.

He took hold of your chin with his strong fingers and turned your head so that he could kiss you, sucking on your tongue and licking up into the roof of your mouth. He tasted of whiskey and something else spicy and you moaned into his mouth. He rolled you so that you were underneath him and he allowed his hands to keep roaming, searching, until…a shrill screech pierced the night.

Dean pulled back from you immediately, taking his hand from the inside of your thigh where he’d started kneading your flesh.

“Shit, Y/N! I’m so sorry.” He said quickly, slightly breathless.  Then he frowned and shook his head.  “I don’t know what I did.”

Your face was red with embarrassment and you grabbed hold of his hand to reassure him.  “No, baby, it’s fine. You didn’t do anything.  I’m just…” You bit your bottom lip.  “I’m just really ticklish.”

Dean’s eyes widened slightly.  “You made that sound because it tickled? Jesus, I don’t want to imagine the sound you’d make if you got hurt.”

You smiled sheepishly and ducked your head. Which was why you missed Dean’s grasping fingers going in for another try. Another scream tore through the bunker and you were glad Sam was staying with Eileen for the night.

Dean’s green eyes glittered suddenly with fiendish delight and he immediately pinned you down, one hand easily holding both your wrists.  

“Don’t you dare!” You screeched just before he attacked your ribs with his free hand.

You twisted away from his strong fingers over and over, but Dean was relentless. He’d stop just long enough for you to catch your breath and then he’d be moving on to the next area. When it came to your feet, he simply sat on your legs facing away from you, and made it impossible for you to reach him and make him stop.

Eventually, he turned back around and as you were panting he lifted your tank top, exposing your tummy and blew a raspberry against your skin, making you squeal and giggle.

“What are you three years old?” You gasped, pushing at his broad shoulders to make him stop. But it was like pushing against a brick wall. Dean wasn’t going to move till he was good and ready. And he hadn’t yet reached the motherlode of ticklishness in your neck.  He kissed his way up your torso, so that you were sighing and running your fingers through his short hair, leaving it messy.

But then he was at your neck and instead of kissing it lightly like he usually did, he rubbed his scruffy cheeks against your extremely sensitive skin there, bringing about high-pitched laughter and pleas for him to stop. He did, but only so he could start massaging his fingers into the crook of your neck and cause you to thrash about beneath him.

Finally, he stopped, pulling back and pinning your arms down beside your head. He kissed you deep, pulling the rest of your limited air from your lungs. Your chest was still heaving as he slid down to press kisses across your collarbone and then your clothed breasts. He chuckled as he came up to kiss your lips again, a wicked grin on his face.

“That was a new kind of foreplay.” He said before nibbling gently on your earlobe, making you shiver. “I like it.”

1. Jensen RPF + Any/All characters Jensen plays. @lyarr24 @siospins2 @impalaslytherin @maggiegirl17 @akshi8278 @candy-coated-misery0731 @nt-multi-fandom @deanswaywardgirl @slytherinlyn314 @globetrotter28 @jensensgirl

2. Dean Winchester Fics Only. @saikosheadcanons @lgranger67 @carryonwaywardgirl

3. Any/All Fics (regardless of fandom/character.) @sunshineandwings86 @kazsrm67 @sexyvixen7

4. Everything (includes fan vid/DOOL edits as well) @unabashed-lover-of-fictional-men @awkward-and-indecisive @maliburenee @supernatural4life2022 @spn730015 @b3autyfuldisast3r @kickingitwithkirk @waywardbaby @foxyjwls007 @deanwanddamons @deandreamernp @deanwithscissors @myloversgone @snowlovespie @leigh70 @all-alone-he-turns-to-stone @fangirlxwritesx67 @charred-angelwings @hopefuldreamers-world @mysherlock221b @jensensgotyoudean @stixnstripesworld @thoughts-and-funnies @magssteenkamp @norman1967 @princessmisery666 @eevvvaa @mishkatelwarriorgoddess @deepsketchsupernaturalcowboy @b-i-t-c-h-i-e @twirpbunwarrior @mysweetlittledesire @waynes-multiverse @mrsjenniferwinchester @bernasaurus @jensenslady79