#which frankly was weird because what if that was just a regular man jason

[chickensoupleg]

2 random aus since I got in a mood.

Eddie living near a lake that had rumours of mermaids living in there. The lake being huge and deep, so deep that Eddie would joke it's just a mini ocean in his own backyard. He and his uncle Wayne would go fishing there all the time, and so it was a very comforting place. Especially with the mermaid rumours. Eddie even would put the 'mermaid lake' into some of his campaigns, just for fun. Sometimes it was an important feature, where he would encourage his players to visit it, or maybe even have the big bad appear there. Then suddenly the rumours come true, when he's just writing and playing songs by the lake and hears singing coming from it. He would look out to the lake and see eyes staring back at him before disappearing into the deep. Of course, nobody believes him, because sure. The rumours are popular, but it doesn't mean people actually believe anyone would actually see them. Eddie is persistent though and keeps visiting. Even if he doesn't see whatever he saw that day, he gets to be by the lake, which is just added perk. Then he sees the mermaid for real, and turns out mermaids know English. He also learns that mermaids can be dudes, even if it's far more popular for them to be female. His mermaid friend finds it hilarious, because if mermaids were only girls than how would they procreate? Like bacteria? Which, when he puts it like that, does sound kind of stupid. Anyways, he learns the mermaid is named Billy, and that he's not actually from here at all. Which, obviously, sounds insane to Eddie, because where else would he have come from? It's a lake, and as far as Eddie is aware, not connected to the ocean in the slightest. It is a sole standing body of water as far as he's aware. Billy, the prick, laughs at him. Apparently it is connected to other bodies of water, it's just not feasible by human standards. There's a hidden underground tunnel apparently, and Billy just sort of... migrated there. Accidentally. The tunnel is somehow a powerful current, and only works one way. So he's been stuck there for years. There are a handful of other mermaids in the lake, but they don't come up since they can breathe underwater just fine despite appearing human. Ergo, they never interact with humans much either. The only reason Billy even showed up was because he liked the music Eddie was playing. Which launches Eddie into a whole plethora of questions, because this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Billy only answers some of them freely, and makes Eddie work to get other answers. They grow close, and since then Eddie makes it his mission to continually visit his new friend. Billy isn't much of a nerd as Eddie is, but they connect with their shared appreciation for the metal genre, even if Eddie has to be the one to supply it. In return, Billy gives him cool shells and rocks he finds. And a crab once. Which was weird, because Eddie didn't know the lake had crabs. They get close, and maybe even a little affectionate. Who knows.

Basically just centaur Harringroveson AU. Steve is a cervitaur, Eddie is a centaur, and Billy is a bariaur. They're just vibing honestly. Maybe Eddie gets the fun time of watching Steve and Billy fight by antler/horns. And then help them because they got stuck to each other. Which happens a lot, because something in their hindbrains wants to just slam their antlers/horns against each other. Dominance, or whatever it is supposed to be. Eddie certainly isn't up for the task. Fun times when Steve casually shed his antlers. Or shed his velvet, where Eddie has to go hide because it is a gory sight. He finds it metal, but also his stomach can only take so much. Billy finds it equally as gross, but his stomach is much stronger for this. Eddie is probably like... a black thoroughbred horse. Or a mustang. Just... a runner of a guy. Steve is either a common white-tailed deer or a red deer. Just for the idea of the red deer being huge and the whole King Steve kind of idea. Billy is a rambouillet ram or a rocky mountain bighorn. Just... stocky but also has a sort of glamour to him. Of course just to make it fair everyone gets the fun perk of being centaur hybrid things. Maybe El can be a unicorn centaur, as a psychic treat. (Oh my gosh unicorn Vecna.... Dark crispy unicorn Vecna.... Flesh monster...) Also I don't think cars exist in this universe, because it would be very awkward trying to fit in one, unless they were very specifically built and long to accommodate the rest of them. Oh they'd be so long. So either it is long cars, or everyone walks everywhere. Alternatively, wagons for passengers. Just for extra fun (mostly just for me) Robin is also a cervitaur, and she jokes that she stole Steve's antlers when hers come in when Steve's falls off. She'd be a reindeer, which is why it works. It also means they can put trinkets on their antlers year round. When Steve's falls off they go right on Robin's. Fun fact, sheeps can swim. Billy is not banned from his water. However, sheep can also sink because wool is a thing. Billy has to shave. Extra treat: Demotaurs. Why not.

[bklynmusicnerd]

GH Petty Polls Roundup! (Cause I felt kinda bad that I dropped the ball last time, and didn't compile the results of the last round 🙈)

Since we're currently in the midst of the union writers' comeback, there's a lot of developments happening at once. The mood based on a glance at the results is fairly pessimistic but some hope here and there. Which is not that surprising considering post-stockpile, audience trust is at an all-time low, but let's just get into these results.

Going in order of what you guys were most interested in putting your two cents in about:

The groundwork is rapidly (thank god) being laid for the final Trina vs. Esme showdown and regardless of how we feel, battle lines are being drawn and some of our faves are not on the same side. This week made clear that Laura is firmly Team Esme and Ava is firmly Team Trina. I wanted to know where you guys stood and you made yourselves very clear lol.

When asked whose side are you on in the event of Trina/Ava vs. Laura/Esme it really wasn't close at all:

At 97.7 %, Trina and Ava are the people's choice because of course they are! They're ride or die, exude regular bad bitch energy and are found family in its essence.

They have never seriously wavered on each other while Laura and Esme were literally built on the whitewashing of the harm Esme did to Laura's own flesh and blood. Trina and Ava are a comfort power mentor/mentee duo, Laura and Esme are botched redemption prop duty gone seriously wrong. No real competition here.

As for the 2.3% that chose Esme and Laura...

Now onto the results you guys were slightly more divided on...

A certain someone's return was announced on a certain poorly reviewed primetime special and the discourse was immediate. All of a sudden, we had taken a time machine back to 2007. But, since his actual last return was 2017 and a huge dud, I wanted to see where you guys landed on Sonny's Permanent Bottom Bitc-I mean Jason Morgan's announced return.

And for a plurality of you, the answer was the stone cold thrill is gone:

The 2017 return did its damage and there's just nothing for Jason, or his many ships, to offer for you this time around. You're over the leather jacket, the refusal to step up and raise his kids and commitment to a thug life he's clearly aging out of.

32.4% of you are equally annoyed with the announcement of his return but can at least find joy in the man formerly known as Jax fuming in the corner with the confirmation that his conservative clout chasing gamble to sue the network was a huge waste of time.

20.6% of were still too numb over what a bizarre mess the primetime special was to even process the news (I hope you're feeling better ❤️)

And because I do believe in the voice of the minority too, 11.8% of you are excited for Jason's return. You're like me in 2017 and still have hope that he can mature beyond his cyborg ways. All I can say to that is...

And in a related poll, because we are a community united in snark, when I asked how hard you guys will laugh when Drew gets tossed aside for Jason...again. The consensus was clear, 90.6% of you will need a medic on standby, you'll be laughing that hard (I'll be right there with you).

6.3% of you are too kind for this world and will smirk, because you're human and Justice for Scout, but also feel a little bad.

3.1 % can call yourselves the classy minority as you said you'd contain your schadenfreude to a moderate chuckle.

Enough old ass mobster Jason Morgan chat, onto more important matters!

I admittedly felt weird about the first week of the Bobbie's death storyline. Particularly that it was purposefully lined up with the SEC reveal/Granny War fallout. I wanted to know if you guys felt the same and frankly, a majority of you did:

This was a dramatic choice that was a failure for the most of you. Bobbie's death being conflated with Carly's latest feud left us as an audience feeling icky. Especially paired with moments like Carly throwing Bobbie's death in Nina's face and Drew dancing around threatening violence on Nina.

A majority of you (74.2%) felt it was gross and not the proper way to start the honoring of Bobbie's legacy. What was supposed to be an exploration of grief suddenly became a badly timed Nina pile-on.

Luckily, it was followed by a much stronger second week for Bobbie's memorial that focused on her and set the SEC nonsense to the side. But it was definitely a reminder of all the worst habits of the union writers that have led many of us to lose faith in them to focus on the right things.

Which leads me right into my next, equally serious question. When I asked what the truly most compelling feud on GH is, since most of us can agree it's not Granny Wars, the results were unsurprising. The ongoing feud that keeps a majority of you (53.3%) on the edge of your seat the most is....

THE GH WRITERS VS. CONSISTENTLY STRONG STORYTELLING AND CHARACTERIZATION

And who can be surprised by those results? Nothing has been more unpredictable than tuning into see what new, creative ways the writers will come up with to fumble an easy storytelling win!

In second place, it was a tie of Spencer vs. Spencer (13.3%) and Portia vs. Trina's Adulthood (13.3%). Spencer's chaotic tendency for self-destruction and Portia's disturbing commitment to ruining her relationship with her daughter go hand in hand for you guys.

Third but not least, Trina vs. Demon Spawn (6.7%). Trina's tormentor hid behind a baby for a year which meant that Trina, despite her best efforts, was dragged into beefing with a baby for a year. This is a feud that makes no sense but continues to be pushed by the writers, made all the funnier by demon spawn clearly being a Trina fan.

Speaking of Trina fans, since she is once again being bombarded by marriage allegations, let's get into the divorce poll. So many toxic marriages in PC and they can't all last. I was curious to see who you think is more likely headed for splitsville:

The majority of you are not nearly as optimistic as Nina is. You don't think her and Sonny's marriage will survive the onslaught of the SEC nonsense and the inevitable reunion of the Unholy Trinity (Carly, Sonny, Jason 🤢).

The rest of you (34.5%) think that Portia's toxic marriage that she's somehow kept together through sheer force of will (and regularly manipulative weaponization of Trina), will collapse before Nina and Sonny do. All I can say is, for Trina's sake, I hope you're right.

Speaking of failed marriages, I wanted to know what you guys thought of Ava and Nik's post-attempted manslaughter divorcees dynamic. I have to say, these results amused me the most, cause there are a lot more Nava curious people than I thought (stop hiding behind these polls, live your truth 👀)

A plurality (48.1%) are here for the united-in-toxicity chem that Nik and Ava have going on right now. They were a disaster together, but they kind of miss the disaster, and you kind of love watching how much they miss disaster. As someone who considers Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf, I share your "why do I not hate Nava???" dilemma and understand it well.

That said, 22.2% of you are staying strong and remember that Nik had a baby (allegedly) on Queen Ava and believe Ava's pride should override any residual chem. Real, and let's hope Ava agrees with you (🥲).

Oh and the 18.5% of you that are most concerned about Ava getting out of Sonny's house are the smartest ones in the room. None of this will matter if Ava has a front row seat to that Unholy Trinity reunion, we gotta get her outta there!

Onto another amusing result. After another Sprina getaway was announced (the union writers clearly saw us all mock them for losing their crown jewel pairing to temps that outwrote them), I wanted to know how you guys felt about this lil Sprina-centered union vs. temp writers competition. And a majority of you (51.9%) have your priorities in order:

Union, temp, who cares as long as you get more Trina and Spencer fluff. You're Sprina capitalists first and Sprina purists second. You don't really care if this upcoming getaway lives up the NYC hype or writing. Your take on this union vs. temp Sprina competition is this:

But for those of you who do care about this temp vs. union competition, 44.4% of you think the union writers are fighting a losing battle trying to do their own Trina and Spencer getaway. You think the NYC trip was a level of magic that can't be topped, especially because the temps snatched not one, but two key milestones from them. You think the union writers slow-burned too close to the sun and won't be able to top NYC despite their best efforts.

3.7% of you actually do have faith in the union writers to reclaim Sprina as theirs, and I have to say I admire that level of optimism post-stockpile, I really do.

Speaking of audience trust (or lack thereof) in the abilities of the returned writers, I was more than a little frustrated in the way beloved throwback character Lois was written in the SEC story and wanted to know how you guys felt about this regime's brand of sloppily warping history for their agenda:

74.1% of you said "hell no" to the idea of your fave from the past being written by this regime. If the price is that they all of a sudden have to sing Carly's praises, regardless of whatever history they had with her, then you'd rather they stay gone and hold onto your pleasant memories of them (good call). You don't trust these writers to not ruin your faves and considering what they're doing to characters like Lois or even Laura, I can't argue with that.

To be frank, the strike stockpile left the audience and the returned writers on a sour note with each other. While there have been some real positives with their return (Bobbie's memorial week was well done and well-received), there are still a lot of kinks to work out. I was curious about how you felt about their return so far:

43.5% of you felt it was the "same ol crap" from them. No clear improvement, just the usual nonsense.

30.4% of you found their return so far to be so terrible that it made you miss the temps (ngl the weak pov for Trina this week made me miss the temps too).

21.7% of you think the returned writers have come back with interesting story ideas but are executing them badly so far and 4.3% of you agree the ideas are interesting but also think they're executing them well.

So, for the most part, trust in these writers remains low. The vibes are wary and pessimistic with the return of the union writers. Maybe I'll ask this question again in a month or two to see if the union writers prove us wrong and acquire some consistent goodwill. For now, their welcome back isn't exactly warm.

Last but not least, I wanted to know how you guys are feeling about Trina's teased morally gray era in the midst of the endgame of the sociopathic mooch. Moral grayness is its own spectrum, and I wanted to see where you guys wanted Trina to fall on that spectrum, light gray or darker gray?

In a very exciting turn of events, 73.1% of you said that you want Trina vs. Esme to escalate until Trina is forced to kill that pest in self-defense. You don't want Trina to just dabble in moral quandary. You want her to get blood on her hands. You want to see the full extent of the darker side of her heroine traits like protectiveness.

26.9% of you are more protective over Trina's "pure" status and aren't quite as ready to let go of her as a good girl moral compass yet and you'd rather her send Esme to prison with Victor's evidence. A neat little full circle to the Pandora's Box motif that started in the summer. Trina was against the idea of using fake evidence because it was wrong but changes her mind when she sees the system as is won't contain Esme because she has power people backing her (Laura 😔).

Whether you're Team Light Gray Trina or Dark Gray Trina, I think pretty much everyone is ready for our girl to start retaliating because going high hasn't worked out all that well for her.

And so concludes another GH Petty Polls Roundup! You guys were as hilariously and brutally honest as ever in your participation, and I appreciate it. I know everyone isn't as loud in the tag about what they think so I like to see what you quieter ones are thinking. Glad to see you're as messy as the rest of us ❤️

[jasontoddiefor]

Title: Under your wings

Summary: Jason didn’t have black wings as massive as the ones attached to his back. They kind of looked like the wings he’d always wanted to have, but most certainly wouldn’t get.  When Jason got resurrected, his wings weren't red anymore.

AN: For the batfam discord’s @thursday-batfam-prompts Wings

When Jason woke up again, the first thing that disturbed him was the weight on his back. His wings weren’t that heavy. Of course, they had gained some weight with them slowly reaching maturity and their full wingspan. Alfred had said to give it another year before-

Before-

What-

Where was he? What had happened? Where was Bruce, he wanted to go home, he wanted his Dad, why didn’t the laughing stop!?

“Breathe, child.”

Jason could hardly see anything through the haze. Vague figures. A hand.

He couldn’t hear and he was choking on his own thoughts.

“Sleep a little longer, child.”

X

The next time Jason woke up, he didn’t freak out. There was no point to panicking about confusing dreams, was there?

Instead, Jason settled on inspecting his surroundings. To his right, Jason could see a lot of medical equipment. Tubes and measuring of all kinds seemed to take up most of the space. On his left, curtains covered a window. The sound of birds and people running around shouting in Arabic reached his ears. Bruce had gotten him started on lessons and that language came to him much easier than the Russian had learned before it.

Jason had a lot of dreams that were just filled with him waking up somewhere he didn’t know. According to Barbara, they were a sign of wanderlust. It fitted that a kid from Crime Alley wanted to go out and see the world. It was rare though that his dreams were as lucid as they were now.

Curious, he threw off the blanket. Jason wanted out and explore the world around himself. Of all the things to hold him back, from terrifying monsters to whatever weirdness he could dream up, Jason didn’t expect bandaged wings.

His wings were enormous for his size, making him look ridiculous. He knew he’d grow into his wingspan, but a kid that was on the short end of the spectrum with bright red wings? Yeah, needless to say, he had heard the whispers (or shouts) at school and hadn’t been impressed. In between all the rich kids with their perfectly regular and average browns, grays and blacks, red wings stood out like nothing else. His wings weren’t any help on patrol either. Coloring them dark took ages. Bruce never had to color his already pitch-black wings, but Jason hadn’t been as fortunate. And trying to get the dye out again? Even worse. It took hours with water if Jason didn’t have the actual dye remover on hand.

As annoyed as Jason was with his wings though, he took good care of them, which was why the bandages were the first surprise.

Their size the second, and their color the third.

Jason didn’t have black wings as massive as the ones attached to his back. They kind of looked like the wings he’d always wanted to have, but most certainly wouldn’t get.

The door to his room opened. The person he saw step into it wasn’t someone he expected his subconsciousness to dream up.

“Talia?” Jason asked. “Huh, alright.”

Talia mustered him, her dark green wings pressed to her back like she expected someone to leap for them. Bruce did that too when he got too wary, or when he was dosed with Fear Gas. Jason had spent most of his childhood before he had been adopted with his wings close to his body.

You could tell a lot about people from the way they held them.

Then, Talia frowned and her expression shifted to worry and pity.

“Oh, Jason,” she said. She sounded kind. Motherly. “Don’t you remember?”

The Joker laughed. Time froze.

The world kept spinning.

Jason had died and the world had kept moving.

X

Training took ages. First, Jason had to regain muscle mass, then he had to learn how to adjust to his new wings.

And new wings they were indeed. Jason’s own had been too damaged and couldn’t be saved, so Talia had ensured Jason would receive a different pair. Wing transplantations had been done successfully only a handful of times, but access to a Lazarus Pit apparently made it a lot more manageable.

“Whose wings are they?” Jason asked only once.

“Yours,” Talia replied.

Jason stopped with his training exercises to observe her. “I meant before.”

She didn’t even bother to look away from her paperwork. The sheets were strange, covered in colors and neat lines.

“They belong to a strong man, and if not broken, they will always keep you in the sky. They’re yours.”

Jason didn’t speak up again.

X

Above him, the stars of the night sky were hidden away behind clouds while below him, the streets were mostly desolate. Jason adjusted his lenses, focused on his target. Then he jumped down from the building, unfurling his wings completely.

I look like him, Jason would think later when watching and deleting the security tapes. Crashing down on the disgusting excuse of a human being, Jason appeared as a vengeful terror of massive black wings.

Good.

X

“I need one of your feathers,” Talia said. “Preferably the biggest you have.”

Jason stopped polishing his guns to face her. “Why?”

“Because I asked you to, so?”

Jason rolled his eyes. “Fine. Just take whatever.”

He returned to his previous task, but sat op straight for better access, as Talia made her way around him. She mustered the feathers, softly moved her hands over them, before coming to a stop.

“This one,” she said and pulled at it so that Jason could feel which one she would take. “Brace yourself.”

Jason barely felt the pain. Truthfully speaking, he hardly got any kind of feedback from the wings. He could control them just fine, but the connection felt dulled.

“Thank you, Jason.”

“No problem,” he replied. “I’ll be leaving for Gotham tomorrow.”

“I know. I hope you’ll find what you seek there.”

Jason didn’t.

X

The new Robin was small and his wingspan frankly speaking pathetic. Barbara’s wings had been broken and her title had been taken by a small predator. There was another girl with bright wings she would have been better off with covering and Dick’s wings, of course, were obsessively clean and cared for as they had always been.

Bruce’s wings were smaller than he remembered. But then again, Jason wasn’t as short, young and naïve as he had been. Naturally, Batman wasn’t as grand as Jason had recalled.

As he had never been.

X

Talia asked him to come back and Jason refused. It would be too much like admitting defeat. Instead, he carved out his own territory, stayed away from the Bats. This was still his city and nothing short of death could make him leave, and even that hadn’t really stuck the last time.

X

It started with a call. One foolish, irritating call Jason hadn’t wanted to answer. He didn’t particularly hate the rest of the Bats anymore, and if they needed back up, he was there. Gotham wouldn’t suffer because of him or their incompetence.

Besides, it was Tim who had called.

Usually, Robin didn’t interact with him. Whether that was because Dick had told him off or because of their history, Jason didn’t know. He didn’t care either. He most certainly wasn’t curious why Tim had such a problem with Jason’s wings especially. Whenever he saw Jason, his eyes kept flickering to his wings and it didn’t annoy Jason at all.

Whatsoever.

Okay, maybe it did.

Jason had grown fond of his dark feathers. It wasn’t terribly hard when they were precisely what he had always wanted to have.

Either way, Tim calling, sounding seconds away from a panic attack and asking Jason to come to the Cave ASAP wasn’t something he was going to ignore out of anger.

What Jason expected to find was a crisis that would throw all of Gotham into disarrange.

Not a child with Talia’s green eyes and Bruce’s frown, waving a familiar feather in Bruce’s face while Tim sat at the other end of the Cave with Alfred by his side.

“What the hell?”

Bruce stood up straight, his cape concealing his wings.

“Jason,” Bruce said. If Bruce was surprised to see him, he didn’t show. “Did you know?”

Jason bit down on his rage. “Know what?”

“About Damian. Talia’s son.”

“And yours,” the child, Damian, added rather hot-headedly. His black wings twitched. “I have your feather as proof. Mother gave it to me.”

“This is not proof,” Tim hissed. “That’s just a stupid feather and Talia couldn’t have given you any of Bruce’s either way.”

“Stop talking to me, Drake. This is a conversation between father and son-“

“My name is Wayne, you damned brat-“

“Enough.”

Jason was getting a headache and if not for the fact that there was Talia’s son standing just a few meters away from him, he would have turned around on his heels and walked away again.

“Don’t antagonize each other.”

“But-“ Damian protested, only to stop talking when Bruce shot him a look.

“I don’t doubt that you are my son, but Tim is right. This feather isn’t mine.”

“But it looks like yours! I saw the photos of your wings. It’s the right color and shape, it even has the dark gray markings at the end. Mother said your wings were completely gray as a child and that’s the only leftover from it. Don’t call me a liar.”

Fighting crime was exhausting. You didn’t get much sleep, your body ached all over (except those times you were so full of pain killers, you couldn’t even tell when you got a new wound or if you were Jason and in general didn’t feel much of anything anymore) and every time you tried to fall asleep, either your nightmares or another gruesome murder would wake you up.

They all got tired, but Jason couldn’t think of a time Bruce had ever emitted such an aura of defeat.

“I’m not calling you liar, Damian. But the fact is that the feather can’t be mine. It cannot have been plucked from them.”

Damian’s face flushed in anger and desperation, perhaps. Your parents’ feathers, the ones they gave you willingly once you lost your last baby downs were something special. Jason had treasured Catherine’s, his real mother who had loved him until she couldn’t anymore, and Bruce’s like nothing else.

“Why not?”

“I don’t have wings anymore, Damian. I lost them a while ago when Bane took over Gotham.”

Jason felt like throwing up.

“Mother said Bane broke your spine and Lady Shiva trained you afterward to take back the city.”

They belong to a strong man, and if not broken, they will always keep you in the sky.

“That he did too.”

“But I saw your wings!”

“Fake. It would have been too suspicious if Bruce Wayne lost his wings at the same time as Batman.”

Jason liked to flare his wings when he left, make himself look bigger than he actually was, but right now he didn’t dare to move his no, no they weren’t they never them even an inch away from his body as he turned around and stormed outside.

Nobody would follow him.

They had bigger problems.

X

It wasn’t Bruce that tracked him down months later (because Bruce was dead, killed by a monster too big for grounded humans. Maybe, if he had been able to fly-) or Tim, who had disappeared with a bang to go on a never-ending search.

He had expected the little brat, coming to him for answers maybe, or Dick once he realized he wasn’t cut out for this Gotham anymore. Jason hardly knew the new Batgirl and he had never even spoken a word to Cassandra.

Somehow, despite her Big Brother-like presence, Jason had never accounted for Barbara.

“Your safe house isn’t very accessible,” she said and moved inside his apartment.

Of course, it wasn’t accessible. It was a cheap shithole in Crime Alley – what did she expect.

“What do you want?”

Jason used to adore Barbara. When he had first met her, she had been energetic and funny, told Batman off and thought Dick was an idiot. She had been bright and every ‘no’ was a challenge.

He couldn’t claim that he knew this version of her. She had calmed down, or maybe just grown as world-weary as the rest of them.

“We tried to find Bruce’s wings after Bane cut them off,” she said, going straight to business and delving right into Jason’s nightmares.

“I don’t want to hear it.”

Barbara pushed up her glasses. “I think you need to.”

He could stop her if he wanted to. He doubted that any regular thugs could provide a challenge, her wheelchair didn’t look like standard either and he wouldn’t be surprised to learn that she had hidden all kinds of small gadgets in there. The edges of Barbara’s wings were covered in light steel like those of many police officers. A hit from those hurt immensely.

However, Jason had trained to take down the Batman (lifetimes ago it felt like) and Oracle, while undoubtedly smarter, couldn’t fight like him.

“He took them as a trophy and while Tim and Alfred rushed to Bruce’s aid, I kept my eyes on them. I lost them while they were in Gotham still. We assumed that Bane had hidden them, but perhaps had lost them as well instead.”

“I didn’t know.”

His defense sounded weak in his own ears. He had known that the wings sewn to his back hadn’t been the wings of the closest dead body Talia could find. Every action had meaning for her, every cruel gift well-meant wasn’t just efficient but a puzzle to solve.

He should have insisted. He should have kept asking.

“When I woke up, really as myself and not full of rage or catatonic, they were already there. Talia meant well, she only wanted to help.”

Barbara kept silent for a while, let her gaze drift to the blood on the ground, the guns on the table and the take-out food on the mattress. Jason hadn’t been handling things well in the last weeks.

“In winter,” she spoke up suddenly, “when Dick and I were young, Bruce used to cover us with his wings on observation missions because we, young and stupid, refused to put on the ugly winter uniforms. The two of us could fit right beneath one wing with still so much space left over.”

Jason remembered that. Bruce always covered Jason with his wings every time he felt like he had an excuse for it. There was no word to describe the warmth Jason had felt then.

“What do you want, Oracle?”

Barbara crossed her arms, still the perfect picture of resistance.

“I need you to come home and work with us. We’re missing three of our heavy hitters and Dick’s busy trying to reign in Damian half the time they’re on patrol. You feel ashamed of these wings? Then do something worthwhile with them. I need to be able to count on you and I need you to actually cover us. This city’s never been alright when even one of us is gone.”

Alright. Okay.

Jason could understand desperation. You didn’t claw your way out of your coffin simply because you felt like it. He could do this.

He had to.

[toasttz]

How to make games: MMORPGs

Hey, you! Does your current job not fill enough of your life with soul-crushing misery? Have you ever stopped to consider 'man, I wish I could get into a line of work that involved me wasting more time away from home and friends but I would have to pay infinity dollars for the experience'? I have to say that's a very particular set of tastes, but I play Mei in Overwatch too, so I understand having a weird sadist/masochist relationship with our gaming experiences. I'd also say that it sounds like you're in the market for an MMORPG, which is good because that's what we'll be talking about today! Making an MMORPG is easy, since it requires literally less effort than the last two genres we've covered: no one actually expects you to innovate past the good-old WoW standard of gameplay. So steal the most generic Tolkien stereotypes you can bring together, but leave out all that "Jesus" and "patriotism" stuff that accompanied Tolkien's work, because our primary market is going to be east-Asian countries and 13 year olds with money burning holes in their pockets. Making a character creator is as easy as going through the process of making one yourself, as you start with the obvious stuff like species. Species should include, but never exceed: Humans who are neither good nor bad at anything (but called some kind of stupid fantasy name), Elves for sissy magic users, Dwarves for your tanks, some kind of dragon hybrid for the fucking furry degenerates, and the obligatory Sexy Race which you'll slap all over your ads that show up on the sides and bottoms of webpages when viewed by morons who don't know what AdBlock is for. If the above doesn't address it, you should also pick a class, so just steal them from early D&D: Fighter, Mage, Cleric, Thief, etc. No more than that - gotta save room for those sweet, sweet expansion packs so you can fleece your players for "Monthly Server Maintenance Fees" in addition to the price of the game. Never mind that 'sever maintenance' is just ripping out old HDDs and putting in new ones and that HDDs are dirt-fucking cheap, you need to fleece these fuckers for gold like your name was Jason. (That's a smart joke.) Your art style should revolve around the most generic mono-themes you can steal assets for, preferably in the Unity engine since that won't make it look like unabashed shit or anything. For music, just hit royalty free music websites, because everyone's just gonna put Youtube in the background when they play anyways, so fuck it. We got money to earn and gameplay to digest, so let's get what your players can expect. Remember, making each class distinct is important as all members of a given party operate like different members of a family unit. For instance: DPS Roles are the family dog. They get excited easily and rush into situations without regard for life or limb, usually making way more noise than they have earned any right to make. They think they're the leader of the party since they insist on being front and center of every encounter even though they are not. Tank Roles are the Asian helicopter moms. They feel the need to live vicariously through their DPS compatriots because the damage they dish out is, frankly, paltry and any time the situation isn't about them - they make it about them somehow. They believe they are the leaders of the party, though they obviously rarely have control over the most immediate threats, let alone the entire party of sociopaths. Support Roles are the stern fathers. They can't immediately intervene on the behalves of the above roles no matter how much they want to, so they stand back and grant all the help they can muster and, at best, will be largely ignored despite the fact that their movements will dictate the pace, flow, and results of combat above all others. They will only be recognized for what they do when they fail in their tasks, which makes this metaphor hit a bit too close to home for most. Just remember: Supports who aren't active in their party are every Raid Boss's future wingman. Don't come crying to me when your DPS Daughteru comes home dating one of those degenerate dragon-people! Anyways, the pacing of the game is paramount, since making an "end" of an MMORPG is essentially illegal, so you need to make it so it's easy to get to somewhere between levels 30-50 before you just start scaling things on a logarithmic basis. For those who don't math good like what I do: your first three level ups should happen more or less instantly upon completion of the tutorial and the players should be able to make good progress over the next few dozen levels as they play with their friends and make larger parties for stronger instances. However, you're not gonna be wringing any monthly server fees out of these plebs if you make it that easy on them, so around level 40-ish or so, just start slapping higher multiplier values on the Exp. required to level up to the point where solar eclipses happen with greater regularity than the "LEVEL UP" chime. By the time players hit this wall, they'll make one of three choices: that they will persist through the grind because the game is literally all they do outside of work now, they will ragequit (and hopefully forget to cancel their credit card subscription to the game with some luck!), or they'll resort to the premium cash shop. What, you didn't know your MMO needed a premium cash shop? Well it does, wake up and smell the lack of ethics, game dev! For some paltry sum between 1 and infinity bucks, your players can buy some kind of in-game premium currency, as mentioned in my gacha explanation. In fact the comparisons here are apt as this, too, is morally dubious and really is for trying to wrench even more money out of your players for something that they can rest more or less assured that you aren't gonna update meaningfully until Halley's Comet passes through the solar system again. However, for some amount of this premium currency, they should be allowed super powerful weapons and armors that completely invalidate any sense of pacing up until the low 70s level range. This will help them play further into the mindless grind until they are playing at least for a few months (worth of fees) time. Once hopelessly addicted, they'll slog through the remaining 30 levels or so of grind, ideally. All other premium currency items should be cosmetics - preferably cosmetics with expiration dates so you can fleece them for their fashionista tendencies repeatedly. If you have any pangs that make you think this might be "not exactly on-the-level", hey, you're right! You're really getting the hang of modern game design! After that, it's time make expansion packs! The beauty of this is that not only have they paid for the base game and monthly fees, but now they get to buy the game ALL OVER AGAIN! Slap on a few extra islands and some quests to populate them and sometimes raise the level cap. The design is the easy part. The name is where you will likely struggle. However, using our advanced scientific algorithms, we have deduced that the ideal title should follow the template: "Adjective Noun Adjective" plus or minus a definitive article and a couple of "Of"s. Do you not know what those are? That probably means you're at the right IQ level to actively make MMOs! Or to play them! Oh yeah, every second expansion pack you should add an additional class - preferably one that invalidates the classes of an earlier build, so as to subtly 'encourage' making a new character. But the prereqs for getting these should be difficult to the point of patent absurdity. After all, you can't class change to a "Bumtickler" until you get that level 85 Pirate! Congrats! You're a soulless monster who cares naught for their fellow man. You are now a living example of gaining the world and losing your soul. I hope the Faustian bargain was worth it. You're welcome.

[botslayer]

Triple reboot review. (Puppet Master the Littlest Reich, Titans, Mega Man: Fully Charged)

Okay, Now, while I have yet to see these things in full (Titans being nothing more than a trailer right now, Littlest Reich not being out in the general public yet to my knowledge, and only having seen a preview of MMFC), But quite frankly, fuck you. I’m angry, I had a shit day, let me do some Sabre Rattling for the properties I like. 

Up First, this sneak peek of Mega Man: Fully Charged:

https://youtu.be/MWMopzUcG_Q

So we have a character who needs to blow his fucking nose, It is a massive distraction everytime he’s on screen, his voice is also the worst in the clip in my opinion. Megaman’s “Civilian” form also looks dull. The only thing that would make him stand out in a crowd is his stupidly big hair. 

Also: WHY DOES HE HAVE A CIVILIAN FORM?! In the games, he has an “Armorless” mode, yeah, but at the same time, that is usually just for when the Robot Masters aren’t a threat. Why, if you could just be walking around and suddenly, giant jet lady robot attacks, would you ever get OUT of the armored mode? In the old show that was just how he looked, he could still talk with people, hold conversations, etc. And while, yes, it is sort of weird to talk to the dude with a laser blaster built into him, A LOT of the Robot masters were built for specific jobs and given non-human anatomy to distinguish them from regular people. (At least that’s my headcanon.) The point is if this version of Mega Man is a kid with a Power Rangers/Beetleborgs-esque “Normal kid life mixed with superhero stuff.” (As implied by the “No one’s looking.”) WHY? Why not build a robot with the shit you just gave this kid!? There’s a big fat half-jet lady taking up good space begging that particular question. If he IS a robot, what does it matter that no one’s watching? Does he not want people to know he’s a robot? How would they not? I don’t care how “human” he may look if he’s avoiding certain “Human” activities too much (Say, Eating, resting, drinking, what have you) then it will probably be obvious.

Going on, Mega Man’s voice is annoying as hell. I don’t have anything to add to that, I just hate his voice. The armor isn’t TOO bad, maybe a LITTLE too busy, but if he is a robot you could explain the lights as “System failure in shoulder” making that light turn red or something, but if he isn’t what is it other than decoration? Plus there are lots of un-needed lines, but you don’t really have to convince me that it’s Megaman, and at the end of the day, that’s all that really matters. (I would also like to point out his Helmet looks more like X’s, which might be an interesting visual easter egg if intentional)

The random cut to the Pixel animation was stupid, sudden, and REALLY broke the (minimal) flow that fight had going. I will say though, the ending joke is good. So out of that entire clip, I had 3 good things to say... Jesus this is gonna suck. 

And don’t give me any of that “Well it isn’t for you” bullshit, we all know full well that a reboot should probably do SOMETHING to appeal to the old fans in some way. And the way they tried to do that here was bullshit. It was like when Power Rangers Operation Overdrive tried to ape the first episode of Light Speed Rescue without really getting what made that work. 

And lastly, I don’t mind Blasto Woman. They should have just used an old Robot Master, though, to be fair, someone like Metal Man would probably be too edgy. (Bah-dumb Tiss)

In short: High hopes for a new Mega Man cartoon, dashed from a single clip.

Up next: Puppet Master, The Littlest Reich:

https://youtu.be/rtSF_-Gyl40

For starters, Toulon looks creepy in a way that he just shouldn’t. I read a review that spoiled a LOT of the movie and quite frankly, I am not impressed. This all looks and sounds like a gore hound’s wet dream, and while I like buckets o’ guts, that isn’t the point of Puppet Master. 

Blade looks like shit design-wise, he and Torch both look Too Plasticky for my tastes, there’s a weird froggy looking one that reminds me of the Joker (Due to the lighting), and it’s all, in my SO’s words, “a giant morality swap AU.” Which I agree with. Andre didn’t make the puppets to torture and kill people constantly, he made them to keep his friends' spirits alive and fight against Nazis. This is so stupid. AGH. Look, before I die of an aneurysm, as there anything I LIKED?

I like that Blade’s knife is hidden in his hand, that is fairly clever design. I also liked the brief snippet look at Pinhead, he doesn’t look terrible, at least. plus, the Frog dude (”Amphibian”) Is okay, and they express SOME logic in the killer sentient puppets. Logic you could see from a mile off, mind you, but I like that they sat down and explained it a little. The closing “joke” is also okay. That is all the goodwill I have.

Finally, Titans:

https://youtu.be/d6rWiM1BQ5E

So... Fuck this trailer. 

Let me explain some shit: Robin being some sort of cop, I can accept. That isn’t a bad idea, I think that happens a few times in the comics, even. no, the problem is just about everything after he whips the “R” into a wall or whatever he hit. 

For starters, Raven looks weird. Like she looks like a Half-ass Cosplayer. Now, while I’m a fan of Cosplay and see that you can do just about anything, long as the character is recognizable, she looks like the epitome of “No fucks given, lol.” and just going in pseudo-goth attire. And then the slightly infamous “Fuck Batman.” ... Yeah. “Fuck the guy that wanted to help me seek justice for my parents being shot.” “Fuck the guy who probably stopped me from slaughtering all these kinds of thugs in the past.” Fuck you, Dick. If this was Jason Todd or Damian Wayne, I’d go “Yeah, sure, why not?” BUT IT’S DICK GRAYSON! (Most likely) and if it isn’t, they are intentionally misleading people with this trailer, if you have to do that, you are part of a trash project. Although I will say I can’t weigh in on most of the costume, so that might look alright. 

Raven having to deal with a demon inside her as a more constant part of the show rather than “Whenever” is a good change if it is indeed put in. 

Beast Boy looks wrong. He looks like Trip from Time Force without the head gem. 

Am I the only one who sees this?! I know “Green skin.” But that isn’t helping by much given that second look we got of him at the end where he looks to be a pale little shit. 

Star Fire looks god awful. Everyone says it, I say it too. “Prostitute.” She looks like a hooker with a wig, really whacked out eyes, and an outfit that screams “I will suck your whatever for the right price.” Her skin looks weird with that “Crawling” effect, AND FOR THE LOVE OF TZEENTCH, WHY ARE HER POWERS ORANGE FLAME!? WHY ISN’T SHE USING STAR BOLTS!?

Then there are Hawk and Dove seen mutilating some dude about as bad as Robin... and why? Why are hawk and dove lacerating some poor bastard’s knee? Some context for that would have been nice, especially when Dove looks to be the one doing it and she isn’t that sadistic! I don’t have anything to say about how they look because I didn’t get a good enough look.

Finally, We have a line that agitates me. “My mom says there’s no such things as monsters.” ... BITCH YOU LIVE IN THE DC UNIVERSE! THERE IS A DEMON LIVING INSIDE YOU/YOU ARE HALF DEMON, PARADEMONS ARE A THING, MEDUSA EXISTS, THERE IS A COUNTRY OF TALKING GORILLAS, MARS HAS A REAL BAD RACISM ISSUE, THERE ARE ENTIRE UNIVERSAL SCALE POLICE FORCES DEDICATED TO EMOTION USING ALL MANNER OF ALIENS, YOU SAY THIS WHILE RIDING WITH A DUDE WHO IS CLEARLY A KILLING MACHINE, FUCK WHAT YOUR MOTHER SAID! “MONSTERS EXIST!” WOULDN’T BE A SURPRISE AT THAT POINT, ALL I’M SAYING!

And even if most of that shit isn’t a THING in this continuity, I still want to point out Raven’s demon thing and who she tells that too. I hate it when this shit happens in anything. “No such things as monsters.” That is actively harder to belive in ANY comic book universe.

TL;DR, Fuck all of these projects, they all look like garbage.

[lichfucker]

hey sorry can i ask... what foreververse is and if its worth getting into?

foreververse is an rpg show from geek & sundry (it airs live on twitch and alpha wednesdays at 4:30 pacific time) that follows a group of characters as they move through multiple rpg systems in search of... something.

it gets a little confusing bc each player has their “prime” character / “alpha” character (terms used interchangeably) who they play mostly in flashback sequences and who ultimately underscore all their subsequent characters, and they also have characters that are specific to each system they play. so far they’ve played pugmire (which was technically the last mini-campaign of no survivors before it turned officially into foreververse (no survivors was an rpg show that ran on geek and sundry for like a year or something that was a series of completely unconnected mini-campaigns-- if you saw the paranoia oneshot on the g&s youtube featuring wil wheaton, felicia day, laura bailey, matt mercer, and the regular cast, that was no survivors) but they still count pugmire as foreververse canon), world of darkness, 7th sea, the witch is dead, and puppetland, and they either have just started or are just about to start playing eclipse phase, not to mention the 3572037234 one-shots they’ve done.

if you like sci-fi, foreververse has got it. if you like fantasy, foreververse has got it. if you particularly like fantasy where instead of orcs and elves and humans everyone are dogs, foreververse has got it. if you like pirates, foreververse has got it. if you like strong sibling relationships, foreververse has got it (seriously, the most enduring and profound relationship in the entire show is between two siblings. the only “romances” are played 100% as jokes and have no major impact on the story or the characters at all).

if you find yourself particularly frustrated about popular rpg shows being overwhelmingly white, foreververse has your back there, too: of the six current cast members (gm not included), one is hector navarro (a latino man, whose primary character and 7th sea character both speak with spanish accents), damion poitier (a black man), and erika ishii (an asian woman). half of the players are nonwhite (disclaimer: damion doesn’t show up until 7th sea and erika doesn’t show up until the witch is dead).

it’s not a perfect show (one npc in particular comes across, at least to me, like a weird stereotype of a developmentally disabled person? but I’m abled so I’m not really qualified to speak on that, and he disappears pretty quickly once world of darkness ends), but it is very, very good.

its following is tiny-- it averages roughly 300 views on twitch per episode, and any tumblr fandom presence is pretty much just me, so if you’re looking for a new fandom to jump into with lots of art and fanfiction (there’s a bunch of art on twitter though!) this show can’t really fulfill that need. if you’re looking for really innovative storytelling, foreververse is unlike any show I have ever seen before. I, personally, highly recommend it.

the backlog of episodes is very slowly being uploaded to youtube and the g&s website, but they started doing that a number of months after the show actually started (it officially switched over from no survivors to foreververse in october) so don’t expect to get caught up that way. I also don’t suggest watching them on alpha, because alpha only has, like, 2/3 of the episodes and they’re numbered as though none of them are missing, so it’s a confusing and, frankly, misleading option. it’s not ideal, but the best bet, I’ve found, is to scroll through the g&s twitch backlog and watch the vods there. I know that’s a lot of work, but I’ve found it’s the most reliable option.

I used to keep a sort of database of where each episode can be found over on foreververse dot tumblr dot com but I haven’t updated it in close to 2 months (life got in the way).

anyway, it’s a really good show. I, personally, cherish it dearly. I’ve been watching no survivors since before foreververse was even a twinkle in ivan van norman’s eye, and I’m gonna see this show through to the end. I love it. but I understand that it’s a big commitment-- it’s a lot of episodes-- and it’s inconvenient and fandom-wise it’s high-risk-no-reward, since pretty much nobody makes any sort of content for it (once I’m caught up I’ll get back into gif-making). but it’s a really good show with a lot of heart and it is so much more than just a high-fantasy dnd romp; they make it a point to feature up-and-coming and indie rpgs, so who knows? you might just find your new favorite system.

plus! amy vorpahl and jason charles miller write songs about the previous week’s adventure and play them at the beginning of each episode! how fucking sweet is that!!

plus plus! one of their wold of darkness characters is a gay jewish werewolf and truly no fictional character could ever even dream of representing me better. truly my pinnacle.