#which i get but i don't think it's working for anyone

[jessiethewitchzard]

Seeing @thydungeongal constantly wrestling with people interpreting her posts about D&D in ways that seem completely alien to me has convinced me that there are actually multiple completely distinct activities both being referred to as "playing D&D" Before we begin, I want to stress that I'm not saying one of these groups is Playing The Game Wrong or anything, but there seems to be a lot of confusion and conflict caused by people not being aware of the distinction. In fact, either one works just fine if everyone's on the same page. So far, I think I've identified at least two main groups. And nobody seems to realize the distinction between these groups even exists. The first group of people think of "Playing D&D" as, well, more or less like any other board game. Players read the whole rulebook all the way through, all the players follow the instructions, and the gameplay experience is determined by what the rules tell each player to do. This group thinks of the mechanics as, not exactly the *whole* game, but certainly the fundamental skeleton that everything else is built on top of. People in the second group think of "Playing D&D" as referring to, hanging out with their friends, collaboratively telling a story inspired by some of the elements in the rulebooks, maybe rolling some dice to see what happens when they can't decide. This group thinks of the mechanics of the game as, like... a spice to sprinkle on top of the story to mix things up. (if you belong to this second group, and think I'm explaining it poorly, please let me know, because I'm kind of piecing things together from other people saying things I don't understand and trying to reverse engineer how they seem to be approaching things.) I think this confusion is exacerbated by the fact that Wizards of the Coast markets D&D as if these are the same thing. They emphatically are not. the specific rules laid out of the D&D rulebooks actually direct players to tell a very specific kind of story. You can tell other stories if you ignore those rules (which still counts as "playing D&D" under the second definition, but doesn't under the first)And I think people in both groups are getting mad because they assume that everyone is also using their definition. For example, there's a common argument that I've seen play out many times that goes something like this:

A: "How do I mod D&D to do [insert theme here]?" B: "D&D is really not built for that, you should play [other TTRPG] that's designed for it instead" A: "But I don't want to learn a whole new game system!" B: "It will be easier to just learn a whole new system than mod D&D to do that." A: "whatever, I'll just mod D&D on my own" And I think where this argument comes from is the two groups described above completely talking past each other. No one understands what the other person is trying to say. From A's perspective, as a person in the second group, it sounds like A: "Anyone have some fun inspirations for telling stories about [insert theme here]?" B: "You can't sit around a table with your friends and tell a story about that theme! That's illegal." A: "But we want to tell a story about this theme!" B: "It's literally impossible to do that and you're a dumb idiot baby for even thinking about it." A: "whatever, jerk, I'll figure it out on my own."

--- Whereas, from B's perspective, the conversation sounds like A: "How do I change the rules of poker to be chess, and not be poker?" B: "uhhh, just play chess?" A: "But I already know how to player poker! I want to play poker, but also have it be chess!" B: "what the hell are you talking about? What does that even mean. They're completely different games." A: "I'm going to frankenstein these rules together into some kind of unplayably complex monster and you can't stop me!" ---

So both people end up coming away from the conversation thinking the other person is an idiot. And really, depending on how you concieve of what it means to "play D&D" what is being asked changes considerably. If you're only planning to look through the books for cool story inspiration, maybe borrow a cool little self contained sub-system here or there, then yeah, it's very possible to steal inspiration for your collaborative story from basically anywhere. Maybe some genres are kind of an awkward fit together, but you can make anything work with a little creativity.

If, however, you are thinking of the question in terms of frankensteining two entire board games together, then it becomes a massively difficult or even outright nonsensical idea. For example, for skill checks, the game Shadowrun has players roll a pool of several d6 at once, then count up how many rolled above a target value to see how well a character succeeded at a task. The whole game is full of specific rules about adding or removing dice from the pool, effects happening if you roll doubles, rerolling only some of the dice, and all sorts of other things that simply do not translate to rolling a single d20 for skill checks. On a basic level, the rules of the games work very differently. Trying to make them compatible would be much harder than just learning a new game from scratch. Now, neither of these approaches is exactly *wrong*, I guess, but personally, I find the rules of TTRPGs to be fascinating and worth taking the time to engage with all the weird little nuances and seeing what shakes out. Also, the first group, "TTRPG as fancy board game" is definitely the older and more widespread one. I kind of get the impression that the second group largely got into D&D through actual play podcasts, but I don't have any actual data to back that up. So, if you're in the second group, who thinks of D&D as basically a context for collaborative storytelling first and a game second, please let me know if I'm wildly misunderstanding how you approach D&D. Because I'm pretty sure it would save us a whole lot of stupid misunderstandings.

[eufezco]

BUCKY'S SECOND FIRST TIME

bucky x fem!reader (smut with plot) no use of y/n

All of this... Bucky hadn't had time to think about when it would happen again, he didn't even think it would ever happen again. He didn't even think deserve to have that kind of intimacy with anyone, didn't think that anyone would want to be in that situation with him.

It's been decades and now his head was full of bizarre thoughts. He had nightmares every time he tried to get some sleep, so the idea of spending the night with somebody was completely out of the table. He was witnessing a complete stranger take over his friend's shield and identity. He had not crossed a name off his list of amends for weeks, he had not answered any of Sam's messages and his psychologist was putting more and more pressure on him.

But in all that chaos there was you who always showed him a kind smile, who always asked him how his day was when you saw him come into the bar, exhausted. You who had his favorite drink ready before he arrived and who looked at him with hearty eyes. You thought you were being too obvious but it had been so long since anyone had looked at him that way that he didn't even notice it.

The day he took Sam to your bar was when he realized, and not even on his own. You were thrilled that he finally introduced you to one of his friends (his only friend in fact) and Sam was so funny and he was always picking on Bucky which made their dynamic even more fun to watch. They arrived almost at closing time so it was just the three of you. That night you ended up closing two hours later, inviting them for a few beers and being walked home by the two of them since it was already very late at night.

—Dude, she's so into you —. Sam huffed a laugh while they walked back from your house.

Bucky arched his eyebrows in surprise and then frowned. —What?

—Oh come on, you gonna tell me you haven't noticed?

Bucky was getting more and more confused. —Noticed what?

Sam stopped on his feet and looked at Bucky in surprise. —Steve told me you used to be a heartthrob back in the day.

—Yeah, back in the day. When I was seventy years younger.

Sam rolled his eyes. —Two things. First, as much as I hate to admit it, you don't look a hundred and seven, and second, I can assure you that this girl is head over heels for you. —Bucky was silent, thinking, so Sam spoke again. —Ask her on a date.

So yes, he asked you out on a date. Well, if inviting you to his house for a drink could be considered a date. He didn't like to be seen in public places too much and fancy restaurants didn't go with him, so while he thought of something better for the second date, his house would work for this time. Bucky shook his head as he found himself thinking about a second date.

Bucky always tried to keep everything tidy, clutter annoyed him and made him even grumpier. But now as he let you walk into his house first he realized how empty it was. He barely had any furniture, only one chair, a small sofa, and a TV. He hadn't even bothered to buy a bed because he slept on the floor. He wondered what was going through your head when you saw his home.

—This is nice —. You stated. At first, you didn't realize how empty his apartment was, you were just appreciating that he had trusted you enough to take you to a place as private and intimate as his home. Then you did notice that some things were missing but you assumed that's all he needed.

Bucky was relieved when he heard those three words come out of your mouth.

You noticed how he kept his jacket and gloves on while he took out two glasses to pour you a drink. Whenever he came home the first thing he did was to take those two things off but with you there, it was different yet when he thought about it, he realized that it was fair that you knew and ran away if you wanted to. So when he caught you looking curious, he first got rid of his gloves, and you could already see the metallic fingers of his hand. Then he took off his jacket, revealing how the metal shaped his left arm.

—You're not going to ask about it? —Bucky thought he was getting ahead of you, saving you from the awkward moment of asking about what happened to him. He poured some liquor in the glasses.

—Do you want to be asked about it?

Bucky looked at you and shook his head. You nodded, understanding his decission. You figured he wouldn't want to talk about it, much less on a first date. Your question caught him off guard yet his answer came almost automatically. He didn't want to talk about it and it was the first time he had been given the option of not doing so.

The rest of the night went great. Bucky was very interested in everything you said. He didn't talk much yet you managed to get some information about him. He had a sister, his favorite fruit was plums, he enjoyed 40s music, and he was a cat person. Every time he told you something about himself, no matter how irrelevant it seemed, you found it fascinating.

You noticed that he was very observant, his icy blue eyes never stopped looking at you for a second. You found it cute, intimidating at times not knowing what thoughts went with those long, intense stares. His eyes were beautiful, captivating, so you could tell every time he broke eye contact to divert his gaze to your lips and then back to your eyes.

Each was on one side of his kitchen island, that way you could look at each other's faces while talking. You were leaning more and more on the table that separated you, taking advantage of the moments of laughter to get closer to each other until that way you kissed him.

At first, you felt him a little stiff even though the sigh that he had let out when you had finally kissed his lips told you otherwise. You parted ways. —Is this okay?

Bucky nodded and immediately after, he leaned in and pressed his lips against yours again. It had been so long since he had kissed anyone that he didn't know if his lip movements were being too clumsy, if the clash of his teeth with yours was bothering you, or if his tongue slipping past your lips was okay. He did not know how to control his breathing that's why he let out little moans against your mouth, trying to catch his breath without having to leave your lips.

He felt like a teenager again. The tingling sensation in his lower abdomen made him want to run away and hide but at the same time did not want to part from your lips for anything in the world. He was afraid of the way you made him feel but at the same time he didn't want that feeling to ever go away.

Didn't know how or when but he ended up sitting on his couch with you on his lap. Your lips and his had come into perfect synchrony and the kiss was getting deeper and wetter. Oh God and he wasn't gonna complain. Your hands were pulling from the root of his hair, your hips rolled subtly against his crotch, his right hand was resting on your hips. Bucky felt how his jeans tightened right where you were sitting.

Bucky tried to keep his left arm away from you, holding your body on top of his just using his right one. He was aware that the touch of the metal was not the most pleasant in the world. It wasn't soft, it wasn't warm, it was nothing like a flesh-and-blood hand.

—It's okay. You can touch me, James —. You moaned against his mouth. Yet he was still a bit reluctant to do so.

In the end, you would have to be the one to gently grab his metal arm and guide his hand to your waist. You kept your hand on top of his metal one while pressing down so he could hold you as tight as he was doing with his other hand, also to assure him that it was okay. You moved your hand from him once you felt his metallic fingers carefully close and grip your body. You smiled in the middle of the kiss, the firm grip of both of his hands encouraged you to grind harder against his crotch.

You pulled his t-shirt over his head and allowed your fingers to travel down his abs until you reached the button and zipper on his jeans. Bucky hissed at the sudden contact and held your hips tighter.

—Wait —. Bucky said against your lips. He pulled away and you were afraid that you had done something wrong. All you had to do was pull down the zipper, but your hands immediately stopped what they were doing when he spoke. You ran your tongue over your lower lip, already missing Bucky's, and you noticed how pink and swollen his were. —It's been a long time since I —. He confessed.

—Oh. —You said in a sigh. —We can't stop if you—

—No. I just— I just wanted you to know. —Bucky groaned. —I'm sorry. I've ruined it. —He let his head fall on your shoulder.

You giggled and you brought your hands to his cheeks so that he would raise his head and look at you. —It's okay, James. You've not ruined anything. I'm glad you've told me. —You gave a quick peck to his lips. —I was just saying that if you want to stop or need to slow down I'm okay with that.

—I don't want to stop.

—Good. Me neither.

And Bucky crashed his lips against yours again. You finished what you started and unzipped his jeans while he pulled from the hem of your shirt and threw it away. Bucky cursed and brought his mouth to the skin of your breasts, using his lips to suck and kiss on it and his teeth for small bites. You moaned and pulled harder from his hair, making him groan. His hands wasted no time and right after they were unbuttoning and unzipping your jeans while his mouth left a trail of kisses from your boobs to your neck and collarbone until he reached your mouth again.

Your lifted your hips from his lap so your hand could sneak inside his underwear. Bucky did the same with your panties. Your fingers wrapped around his hard dick and Bucky's found their way to your clit. You moaned and closed your eyes shut when he started rubbing your bundle of nerves and Bucky's lips parted and let out all the air that he had in his lungs when your hand moved painfully slow from the tip of his cock to the base of it.

You pressed your foreheads together. Your thighs closed around his hand but he continued drawing circles on your clit and his mouth reached for your lips again. Bucky's hips thrust into your fist while some of his moans died in your mouth. He felt a wave of heat running through his body and that sweet knot formed in his lower belly.

—I need you inside, please —You whined.

You didn't have to beg anymore. You moved from his lap so you both could get rid of your jeans and underwear. You straddled him again, using your hands on his shoulders for stability when your fingers brushed the scarred skin that connected with the metal of his arm.

You noticed the worried expression on his face. He was looking at you with his eyebrows raised as if he was waiting for a reaction from you. A reaction of disgust. He could feel his chest rise and fall slowly because of his deep breathing and he was wondering what was going on in your head at the time.

You pressed your lips against his one more time, your hands moved to cup both of his cheeks. —It's okay. Just focus on me —. You mumbled into his mouth and he hummed in response.

Without stopping kissing him, your hands began to travel down. First his neck, then his broad shoulders, feeling again those scars he was so insecure about, and then his arms. His right one was strong, with perfectly defined muscles and the softest skin. His left one was cold and hard, not at all unpleasant to the touch. Your lips moving on his kept Bucky from overthinking.

He gasped when you reached his well-defined abdomen. You would have spent the whole night caressing and feeling his body under your fingertips but you were getting impatient. Your fingers wrapped around the base of his cock to line it up at your entrance and gently lowered yourself. Bucky's mouth opened in a perfect "O" form as he gripped your waist tightly. You had to wait a few seconds to get used to the sensation before you started moving, he needed those seconds as well to get used to your tight walls squeezing him.

You started by rolling your hips against his, it was the best way to adjust to his size. Despite how wet you were you could feel that sweet sting caused by his width. You rested your forehead against his, you both were panting when you began to lift your hips and drop them back onto his cock. The sounds that came out of his mouth were music to your ears, the grunts coming directly from his chest made you vibrate.

You hugged him to feel him even closer. Bucky tried to hold on as hard as he could, he kissed your shoulder and softly sank his teeth into your skin there, getting a whine from you, but it was too much. Every time he felt his dick going fully inside you, the knot on his stomach became tighter, every time he heard you moaning his name in his ear he did his best to last a little bit longer but in the end, he found it impossible.

Bucky emptied himself inside you while he dropped his forehead on your shoulder and apologized for coming so quickly. —Don't worry. We have all night —. You played with the hair on the back of his head and allowed him to come back from his high.

And you spent the whole night until you heard the birds chirping. The stamina he had thanks to the super soldier serum was truly something else and he made it up to you until you felt completely disconnected from your own body and Bucky had to snuggle you next to him on the couch to let you sleep.

Bucky didn't sleep that night. He was afraid that if he did, he'd hurt you or scare you with his nightmares so he stayed awake all night, but he didn't mind either. He had his right arm around you and he held you against his body, your head was on his chest as well as one of your hands. He felt the warmth of your naked body against his under the blanket.

[tia-222]

MASTER " THE STATE " OF BEING A PRO AT THE VOID

" For anyone experiencing a dry spell or having trouble achieving lucidity for the first time you can try this simple "mind over matter" technique. I use this to help break out of dry spells and I generally suggest it to others who are experiencing dry spells. I think it will also help first timers achieve lucidity. Basically here it is...Upon laying down to sleep you need to alter your state of mind. Basically, act as if you are an expert/experienced lucid dreamer and you know 100% that you will have a lucid dream. Don't only say/think to yourself that you will have a lucid dream, but truly 100% believe that you will achieve your goal easily. The best way to describe this "state of mind alteration" is to compare it to acting. Many actors and actresses "get into character" for their particular roles. They will spend several days (or even longer depending on the actor/actress) acting as if they are a completely different person to better prepare and play their role. Basically, you are trying to "get into the character" of an experienced/expert lucid dreamer. You could even go as far as getting into the character of "The Best Lucid Dreamer Ever." The idea is to fall asleep knowing and expecting yourself to become lucid, because you have done it millions of times before and it is easy for you. If you can do it correctly, and truly convince yourself that you will achieve lucidity, than it will greatly raise your chances of success. During a dry spell, I do this for as many nights as I need to break it. I usually am able to overcome my dry spell the very first night trying. Make sure that if you do not succeed, that you stay "in-character" and tell yourself/convince yourself that last night was a fluke and there is no way you won't become lucid the next night. You would be surprised how well this simple method can work. All it takes is a bit of "acting" " . CREDITS TO KING YOSHI ON DREAM VIEW

What makes this technique work?

So basically, this is an extremely easy technique to enter the void with and manifest your desires. Changing your state is extremely valuable and will get your desires overnight! If you don't know what a state is - " A state is an attitude of mind, a state of experience with a body of beliefs which you live by". Our beliefs and behaviours naturally change always as we shift into different states of mind. If you consciously change your behaviour/ attitude towards certain subject, naturally you will align yourself with your desired state. For example, if you are always checking the 3D for your manifestation and wondering why you did not receive it, you're in a state of not having what you want becuz you constantly checking the 3D. If I had something I want, will I constantly be looking for evidence of it? No, I will simply know I have it.

How to do this technique :

RIGHT NOW, ASK YOURSELF THIS QUESTION " IF I HAD WHAT I WANT, HOW WOULD IT MAKE ME FEEL"? AND BE IN THAT DESIRED STATE.

In order to master the void state - JUST GET INTO CHARACTER OF HOW EASY IT IS FOR YOU TO ENTER THE VOID

Example of using this method for the void -

Change " i can't enter the void state '" to " the void state is extremely easy to enter" embody that feeling of knowing that you always enter the void state easily. What attitude will you have if you keep on entering the void? Expect it to happen as if it always happened to you. If you embodied your desired state the right way, you won't be thinking thoughts like " this is not going to work" because you'll know that you will enter the void state with any method. What type of character attributes will you have if you entered the void state? How will you feel knowing that you can enter the void state easily? GET INTO CHARACTER OF SOMEONE THAT IS EXPERIENCED IN ENTERING THE VOID!!

YOU CAN AFFIRM, IMAGINE, RANT WHATEVER GETS YOU INTO A STATE OF ENTERING THE VOID EASILY DO IT!!

Success stories of changing states :

Marilyn Monroe embodied the version of her desired self and everything around her changed immediately

I’ll never forget the day Marilyn and I were walking around New York City, just having a stroll on a nice day. She loved New York because no one bothered her there like they did in Hollywood, she could put on her plain-Jane clothes and no one would notice her. She loved that. So, as we we’re walking down Broadway, she turns to me and says, ‘Do you want to see me become her?’ I didn’t know what she meant but I just said ‘Yes’ — and then I saw it. I don’t know how to explain what she did because it was so very subtle, but she turned something on within herself that was almost like magic. And suddenly cars were slowing, and people were turning their heads and stopping to stare. They were recognizing that this was Marilyn Monroe as if she pulled off a mask or something, even though a second ago nobody noticed her. I had never seen anything like it before.”

“I dreamed of myself walking proudly in beautiful clothes and being admired by everyone and overhearing words of praise. I made up the praises and repeated them aloud as if someone else were saying them.”

Amy Greene, wife of Marilyn’s personal photographer

Reddit success story of how someone manifested appereance overnight by changing states

" basically i was obsesssed with this one tiktok girl and stalked all her tiktoks....she is very pretty and i wanted to look like her so bad.......but as you read i WANTED, SEEKED; DESPERATE ;OMG COULD NEVER BE ME .....so obv it didnt happen but one night i got really deep into the state of being of someone who looks like her......and my wholeeeee attitude changed....bro it was crazy i never felt such a sudden change...... i felt so calm and attractive and powerfull and limitless....like i can have or be anyone i want.....the next day i took some mirror selfies and posted them....literally no fck makeup and the mirror and lighting was the same i used usually....my friend told me how good i look she went like ´´ how are you still single?´´ hahaha and she never says that......anyways in the pic i looked like this tiktok girl....guys in my school were so interested and i didnt feel disgusting and ugly in school, my hair looked like it was blown out and my face looked so pretty and attractive...so weird i still could recognize myself but it was a better version of myself "

Posts on Tumblr about states :

Define states cr @/ remcycle

Applying states for the void cr @/ littlemissprettyprincess

How to get into a state cr @/ remcycle

badass alter ego challenge based on this technique cr fleurlx

How I manifest with states cr @/babygothprincess

[aroaceleovaldez]

i know a lot of people talk about the Cupid Scene as not being great as Nico's coming out story (which i think is a complex matter but that's a rant for another day), but I personally find it way more compelling if it's just not Nico's coming out story at all - it's the beginning of Jason's.

Because it doesn't really work or make sense to be Nico's, right? It's not Nico's pov. Nico doesn't have a POV at all in this book. And in House of Hades, the Cupid Scene is one of the first major things Nico gets to do right out of the box jar. Why introduce a character, have him be outed as gay, lead the crew around, and then leave to go travel with someone else all in one book where he's not even a POV? It's also contrary to the way Nico generally functions as a character - he's either exposition, dues ex machina, or damsel in distress. He's kind of a damsel here, but ultimately he doesn't need anyone else to save him - or even be there. He handles it on his own. Jason is mostly just a witness.

But, if you view the Cupid Scene as being about Jason, it narratively fits a lot more; Jason at this point is dating Piper, and they're three books deep into their relationship. TLH they start dating and are relatively happy with it and where they are. SoN is a skip but we know they're happily dating during that time, and then Mark of Athena we get a slight shift. Jason and Piper see Percy and Annabeth and go "Oh! They're perfect. Their relationship is perfect. We could be happier if we were more like them." Piper and Jason are also both characters who go through an identity turmoil in general - particularly about how both of them want to be perceived by others and who they are as people. The things they identify with - their parents, their heritages, etc etc. Their orientations. Piper's get more focus earlier in HoO, and Jason gets more later.

The Cupid Scene is from Jason's POV, in a book where he is beginning to struggle with his identity and what people expect from him - particularly him not feeling like he perfectly fits with "either camp." He's too "Greek" to be "Roman" but too "Roman" to be "Greek." He's not quite one or the other. He doesn't meet the expectations either has for him. (This is bi-coding, if you couldn't tell. Just replace "Greek" and "Roman" with "Straight" and "Gay.") It starts with Cupid addressing Jason first, before Nico, very directly - asking him if he's so sure he's happy in his relationship? Does he really think it's perfect? Even Favonius very pointedly asks him if he really forget that guys can date guys? Do you have some internalized bias around that, Jason? Hm? Heck, they're both specifically in their Roman forms, not Greek. Why would they appear in their Roman forms if they're there for a Greek demigod? And very notably, they have this exchange:

(remember what I said about the bi-coding with Jason's Greek/Roman identity crisis? I don't think it's coincidence that this so pointedly comes up during the Cupid scene.)

Favonius' introduction to the Cupid scene sets up Nico's portion of it, but Cupid almost exclusively speaks to Jason for the first half of it. Then Nico steps in. He diverts the conversation away from Jason and focuses the attention onto him. Nico's the one Cupid wants, he insists, not Jason. He's the target, not Jason. This is very in line with Nico's character - practically one of his core character traits is he trusts and starts caring about people very quickly, probably quicker than he should or even wants to, and will put himself in harm's way to prevent others from being hurt. The Cupid Scene isn't the start of Nico's coming out story - Nico already knows he's gay. He has no internal doubts about that. He's known it for awhile. He's just in the closet. And he starts coming out of his own free will in the next book, first to Reyna and Coach. The Cupid Scene is Nico recognizing that Favonius and Cupid are pushing Jason for something he's not ready for and hasn't figured out yet, but something Nico has and just hasn't said out loud yet. The Cupid Scene is Nico taking the proverbial bullet/literal arrow for Jason (Jason consistently describes the arrows as whizzing by him before striking near Nico, interestingly) and being outed so Jason isn't. And that presents Jason with the path to begin questioning his identity further. (Jason also then directly compares Cupid to Aphrodite, specifically her Greek form, which also ties into Jason's greek/roman stuff.)

And I don't think it's coincidence that Jason and Nico mirror each other so much, and that their arcs in HoH are so intertwined. The Cupid Scene functionally, on a meta level, establishes an explicitly queer character to parallel Jason and for him to bounce off of during his own arc. (And, also on a meta level, establishes to the audience to be sympathetic to queer struggles, with Jason's arc then proceeding to be a queer-coded struggle.) Jason is presented as having this strange level of isolation from how others perceive him in a positive way/the expectations people have of him that wraps around to something akin to Nico's ostracization as being an outsider and atypical demigod in general. Nico is a rouge - he explicitly expresses how he feels like he doesn't fit in at either camp (something he expresses explicitly during the Cupid Scene, mirroring Jason's simultaneous questioning his own place at Camp Jupiter) and a core part of his character is that he does function outside the rules and expectations of both camps. He operates on an entirely different realm to them. If the camps are an expectation of normative concepts of acceptable relationships, Nico is outside of that. And he recognizes that he operates outside of that and will never fully fit into the mold either expect of him, and he recognizes he doesn't need to fit in, even if he theoretically could force himself to fit that mold. Jason, meanwhile, is still locked within those boundaries, and grappling with this idea of how he can exist between them.

Nico hands Jason a goblet of poison and says "how much do you trust me?" and it's Nico challenging Jason to take his own advice about trusting others about their identities, and almost immediately after that Jason gives up his praetor title to Frank. Jason's Greek/Roman arc is directly tied to Nico and the Cupid scene. BoO ends with Jason asking Nico to stay at CHB so they can hang out that summer. By TOA, we learn that Nico has started dating and is staying at CHB (is exploring the niche of expected and socially accepted relationships) while Jason has broken up with Piper and is living away from both camps (rejecting hetero/allonormative expectations), still struggling with his own identity. They functionally swap places. And that's fascinating.

Anyways i think about Jason's bi-coding a lot.

[ao3commentoftheday]

Hi! I have a writing related question. I have a major problem finishing things, specifically the second half or last third. I'm a pantser, and have tried planning to help fix the issue, but it's just...not my style. I plan and it all changes anyway. This problem has been going on for a long time and by now I'm fairly sure the culprit is psychological/lack of confidence. I know logically this is a common occurrence and I likely just need to push through, but I simply can't do it, most of the time even with shorter works (I then feel worse about myself as a writer, which makes the problem worse, etc). I guess what I'm asking is, if you or anyone has been in this situation, and some general tips or words of wisdom lol. I know the issues, but still can't seem to fix it. It's affecting my ability to write and now I can't even start stories like I used to either. It's making me miserable. I love writing and want to have it "click" again; right now I just feel sort of broken, creatively speaking.

I'm not very fandom social but I do read this blog all the time, it's a gift. So helpful on so many different topics, and I felt comfortable finally reaching out here ♥️ Thank you for everything you do here

I think you know part of the issue. You know that you can't finish works and you know that planning doesn't help you. You think there might be a lack of confidence, but you don't seem all that certain about it.

I think you should dig in a bit more and see what the actual culprit is.

Are you worried that your writing is bad and will be poorly received?

Are you worried your story is too niche and no one will read it?

Are you worried that the things you write might lead to harassment or bullying of some kind?

What you'll notice about all of those things is that the worry is about how other people will react to what you've written. That's something that's completely out of your control.

To get back to the joy of writing, try writing something just for yourself, with no intention of posting it. See if that helps you get to the end. Often people who have issues with perfectionism or shame or anxiety will put off finishing projects because they want to avoid the judgement that comes after something is finished. If it's never done, no one will tell you that you did a bad job.

If you're like me, then planning is the opposite of helpful because as soon as the plan is in place, it feels like the story is already written. Instead, try working with a plotline that has lots of different ways that it can go. Make it into a kind of "choose your own adventure" but for you, the writer. As you get to each stage in the story, leave choices open so that you can go left or go right - but you can also go up or down or swing in a circle.

Refocus on the parts of writing that feel more like play than like work and do more of that. Reconnect with the joy of it. Then, when you actually like it again, you can figure out whether you actually still want to post your works and how you can deal with your worries then.

*hugs* it's a rough spot right now, anon, but I think you'll get through it. Let's see what advice the rest of the blog has to give.

[xiao-come-home]

Giggling, kicking my feet, spinning in circles over Boothill...

Just imagine, S/O in a creative field, and they've been preparing for an event where they get to show off their work..

Except, they've been doing it in secret because they don't feel confident and they're unsure if people would stop by for them..

So cue S/O's surprise when they suddenly bump into Boothill at said event—maybe even burst into (happy) tears if he praises their work.. I just know this man's the sweetest for his S/O ;;;-;;;

YUEESS anyway this got kinda long but take it 🫡

You knew the day was coming - the day so, so important in your career that could possibly shift everyone's opinion about you and your hard work. Day after day, more preparations were made, and people who assisted you kept patting your shoulder as you walked by, already congratulating you.

Yet, amongst all of the joy - your hesitation was certainly present. No one close to you knew about the event - not even the closest people, not even Boothill himself, who was your significant other. Even though so many already praised you - just what meaning does it hold if no one actually shows up to the event itself?

The lack of confidence and worrying were the only ones that bothered you to no end - which, Boothill noticed immediately as it was not your usual behavior. Not only were you constantly busy and away from home when he finally got back, but you were constantly stressed out. He tried not to pressure the matter as you were unwilling to talk, but that's Boothill we're talking about - which means - time for Boothill to snoop around and find out himself.

Today is the day. The day you anticipated so much, but also dreaded to finally have it happen. You hop onto the stage, and gasp at the amount of people below. You can't count the amount of eyes that gaze at you, and people seem to be genuinely impressed at your work - applauding loudly, causing you to tear up on stage.

That's a shame you haven't noticed the familiar cyborg who's been watching you the whole time, smiling widely to himself.

Once the official part is over and the festivities begin, people swarm around you to ask you more about your work or actual interviews, but you gently excuse yourself for now under the excuse of being tired. Surprisingly, the crowd goes away, but they'll surely be back...

You breathe in and out, shaking your head from all the attention, but suddenly, you bump hard against something and your hands automatically cover your poor nose; the pain makes you cry under your nose a tiny "oww," just what the hell is that pole here? Was there one before?!

"Ouch! 'm sorry sweetheart! Thought ya would finally notice me, but not that kinda way..." Boothill's voice reaches your ears and you open your eyes in the span of seconds, "I can't believe ya didn't tell me about all of this! A god dang event just for you, and those little motherfudgers that barely let me in, let alone get closer to ya—"

Boothill takes your hands off your face in his, pressing a soft kiss on your nose, "I didn't know my sweet pea was so smart," his voice gets softer and quieter, eyes gazing into yours, "I'm so proud of ya. I really wish you've told me about this, so we could be properly celebratin' this together."

You no longer could fight your tears and let them run down your cheeks, "I'm sorry, I didn't— I didn't think anyone would even show up," you sobbed, "I didn't even know if I could get through this if—" your sentence gets cut off by Boothill's fingers pushing your chin up and staring at you with ungodly amounts of love in his eyes.

"Silly you," he wiped off the tears with his hand, "of course they'd come. They did. So many people are here just for you, admirin' yer work and almost fightin' to say a word to ya. I know ya often doubt yourself, but, as you can see," Boothill looks behind you and see people fawning over your projects, "there's no need for it. You deserve all of this, sweetheart, even if I can't understand a single fudgin' word. You put yer entire heart into this - I see it, love."

Boothill's words only make you cry harder, wrapping your arms around his neck and hugging him tightly - but this time, your tears are those of joy.

After calming down, you sit nearby with Boothill next to you. Sparing him a glance, you confusingly mention the new hat he's wearing, "Ha! Took ya long enough to see! It worked as intended - ya didn't know it was me back there, in the crowd!" He exclaimed proudly, sending you a smug grin.

[shaunashipman]

what gets me is that date scene was a literally under a minute long which isn’t a whole loft of time exactly of dissect the inner workings of their daddy issues. the minute they had, they used it to its full potential because we had:

- buck and tommy being casually domestic together on their date night in, which while nice, wasn’t like a super fancy thing and shows that this is probably a common occurrence for them. (especially when you see episode 9 and Bobby’s mention of buck going to visit tommy after the shift)

- buck telling tommy about his day, tommy making a joke about the dedicated hospital wing but recognizes that buck is not okay so he ASKS him pointedly how HE is

- buck shares the close relationship he has with bobby and this seems to be the first time they’re delving into that and so of course tommy wants to understand better, hence why he says “your dads alive”, buck replies exactly and tommy gets an understanding buck doesn’t have a great relationship with his father (also I have to add buck sharing how he sees bobby as a father with tommy is a big deal esp considering the buck bobby scene last episode where bobby tells buck tommys good for him soooo)

- tommy then shares his OWN experience after that, bounces off of what buck says to add to the conversation and open up to his boyfriend about his own past so he can get to know him better too. it was a moment where they were both vulnerable (the Gerard mention in particular i 100% believe is to set up an arc with tommy in season 8)

Now at this point there isn’t a whole lot of time left in the scene like maybe 20-25 seconds? they can exactly like I said sit there and examine and analyze their childhoods and their fathers so the tone switches to a more light hearted vibe because it would be weird to end it on a heavy note AND simultaneously it gives us more insight into their relationship

- buck suggestively says the daddy issues line which again, how anyone interpreted that as him wanting to continue a serious discussion is beyond me when again, the scene has hardly any time remaining

- tommy picks up the vibe he’s putting down and tells him he doesn’t have them (he clearly does have daddy issues so again, we know this isn’t about the actual trauma but about sex and what they both like/dislike )

- buck once again responds suggestively with the “you think I do”

- and then tommy with his infamous “God I hope so” - leaving buck giddy and smiling because he got exactly what he wanted

tdlr; We got domestic bucktommy, tommy backstory, both of them being vulnerable with each other, Tommy recognising he was not a good person in the past under Gerard, a set up for a tommy storyline with Gerard in some way for seaosn 8, bucktommy flirting, bucktommy matching each others freak and both very much enjoying it, bucktommy showing they can read each others moods like??? all for his in a scene that was under a minute

that scene was such a masterclass of Show Don't Tell. they had 55 seconds to get across how they're doing and where they are in the relationship and they did it. we can see that they're comfortable with each other; that they're okay with opening up about vulnerable topics but haven't had in-depth conversations on some, like buck and his parents; we can even see some of how they communicate, with tommy relating to buck's admission with similar thoughts of his own father and father-figure (something we've seen tommy do before, and is a lovely subtle showing of his personality); and then we get confirmation that yes, these two have fucked already, and are clearly compatible in that department too.

plus another sprinkle of foreshadowing with gerrard.

in 55 seconds.

that is called economy of time/space/whatever the rule is i can't remember rn. the show doesn't always get it, but when they do it is golden

[agarthanguide]

Forgive me if you’ve answered this already, but what is the timeline you work with for the CR character art? Do you do them all at once, or one at a time? I saw on the Dorian ask you mentioned the deliberation started long enough ago that Robbie didn’t know his brother died. Did you know they were going to a cold location? Or were the outfits designed for any weather? If you were to design their winter outfits now, would you do it any differently?

Your art is very cool! No pressure to answer all/any of these :)

Timeline varies WILDLY. The very first round, back before Bells Hells even premiered, was like 4 months out. But that took a lot more effort. Messing around and zeroing in on a thing. I can turn a character around in a week, as long as that character isn't that important to anyone. Like I know all guests love their characters, but Erika Ishii's first round took like three days (and then I heard about Yu, which took two weeks). Bordor scared the shit out of me because it was so effortless that I was worried that I either missed something or didn't know something.

I start them all at once, within reason. It's really important to get final designs (pre-rendered) to Ian, the mini painter. So one tries to work them in waves. Start as soon as you get the first brief, and then don't get too stuck on anyone. Try to keep a wide open mind so you don't accidentally railroad yourself. I have a tendency to freeze up at the render stage, because it requires a drastic change of style. So I will have to spend a day relearning how to color.

So yeah- no one told me they were going to a cold climate. They try to tell me what I need to know, but "need to know" is different for everyone. I've gotten clips of descriptions of what they are wearing, before, but generally it's just whatever they tell me directly! And no, I don't think I'd change anything too much if I knew they were going to Aeor. I enjoy a Seasonal Design as much as anyone, but only for like a one-shot (I'd love to do a holiday one shot with everyone in swim gear or christmas sweaters or whatever). But if they are going to be playing the main game in an outfit, I'd rather that outfit be iconic than specific.

Check out some Dorian gear concepts!

[garden-variety-jumo]

I want to talk about the latest Doctor Who episode looking at monoculture and worldbuilding and how it adds fantastically to the whole episode.

I knew about the twist in the episode before I went into it, so I have less to say about how the racism shocked me and more about the society they function in.

As I mentioned in a previous post, none of them experience the world around them- pretty much at all.

I watched Lindy walk to work and I thought to myself "is that their gardens? They never stop to look at them?" Maicured grass with decorative shrubs- not only is the grass itself a symbol or capitalism and class systems, but it's perfectly kept and that's pretty much all the biodiversity you see.

It's a monoculture, it's not hospitable to insects, and it reveals more about the planet to you. It's not hospitable to insects because they aren't meant to live there. There probably even aren't any, thanks to the forcefields around the city. They may be seen as pests, but they're absolutely vital to an ecosystem. It makes me imagine that even the dirt housing the grass is likely free of microfauna- meaning some other technological intervention is taking place to make the grass stay green- it might not even be real. Which implies nothing can grow.

Also note you also don't see any pets.

Additionally, the doctor that pops up on Lindy's screen notes she doesn't need to urinate. Sure it's just a silly joke about how when she gets scared she suddenly does need to. But it tells you:

1) That is seen as a good thing, having to pee is seen as an inconvenience or maybe a social faux pas

2) If she doesn't need to pee, she doesn't need to drink. If she doesn't need to drink, she doesn't need to eat either

And if she doesn't need to eat, she probably doesn't, and she almost definitely never cooks either. I'll say it a million times- as will Dungeon Meshi as it's surged in popularity: you need to eat to be alive and, in fact, being alive is all about being able to eat- finding balance and enjoyment and sharing experiences and staying alive. It's a celebration of who you are and where you came from and how good it is to still be alive. And in their society- it's just gone.

Everyone dresses so similarly and even acts similarly. Everyone dresses in clean cut clothing and pastels- even those who have more eccentric styling or hair, they fit into this world and it's not commented on. The most diversity they have is Goth Paul and even he doesn't dress fully in black- he has an almost pastel purple in his hair. So even with those "different" they're actually quite similar

(Thinking about it. Did anyone in that episode have curly hair besides the Doctor...?)

And it all leads back to monoculture. Even think about how everyone in the city is the same sort of demographic: 17-27, rich, white. Likely also able bodied and neurotypical. Nothing can live or thrive in a monoculture, no one can or will change, and so they stagnate- as does the world around them.

People become more accepting and open and kind when they try new experiences and meet new people, by expanding their worlds, they become more tolerant- but this is a world in which that can never happen. Even Ricky September, who turns off his bubble, stays inside to read. He never goes out, never tries anything- so not even he would have the capacity to change, truly.

Knowledge is such a powerful tool as well as being open to outside influences and change. By living with people who are the same, they can never take on the wisdom of their elders, and by living in a monoculture, their fashion will never change, they will never try new food, they will never appreciate new growth on plants or learn to take care of pets.

They can never change or grow. And the racism building their society has ensured that. They will never learn empathy, because they will never interact with different races and are taught to be disgusted by them. They will never be able to experience the joys of those cultures either, not that they deserve them, they won't pick up new fashion or recipes or dance or music. And from their point of view, they never want to.

Experiencing the world will teach you much more than books ever could. Ricky September showed bravery and empathy from his limited freedom, much more than Lindy was capable of. But he would still be racist if it came down to it, because why would he be otherwise?

This is their perfect society: nothing can live there and nothing ever will. And thanks to it, not one of them will survive.

[roxannepolice]

The thing about Ricky September rising to the top of the chart as the most controversial aspect of Dot and Bubble is interesting, because... welp, as many people have pointed out, he's the surface level white twinky manic pixie nuwho Doctor at their most op on steroids. I've seen people comparing him to s6 Eleven specifically, but the offhand remarks about how much he knows, the interest in history, and most importantly, the proper introduction as the handsome guy who leads our protagonist away from cheap looking monsters and then runs hand in hand with her... that's Rose, the episode. The reason people took a liking to him is because he literally echoes the main character of the show we're watching. He's the Doctor doll in this sci fi dollhouse. That's why it's so shocking when Lindy uses him as cannon fodder.

So the fact that he's no less racist than everyone else in Finetime fits into the general concept of this episode as unpacking the naturalised racism of Shakespeare's Tempest/Forbidden Planet sf conventions, that Doctor Who, and the Doctor themself has been guilty of (welp this is what you get for thinking it's a good idea to turn a brown guy over to WWII villains or not filtering for racism when you random generate a time and space you will hide in with a black companion - you watch aryan bubble folks go to their deaths you bent ass over tits to prevent; not for many people this would have been karma doing its job, but for the Doctor it is).

But I don't think... the show wants us to hate itself, or its main character. Like, there are reviewers clutching their pearls over another cult text getting written by people who hate it, but. criticism isn't hatred, it's often an expression of love, and perhaps one of the highest forms of self-love. Which is why it caught my attention Ncuti Gatwa looks extra-doctorish in the last scene. Yes, clothes are surface, but in a visual medium they're a message too. Fifteen has been the most clothes changing Doctor we've seen so far, and he spends most of the episode in a more everyday casual shirt, but he dons the extravagant yet stylish tartan knee length suit for the end. And he does a Speech(tm), too, and helpless shouting, and finally a stern face (which ironically enough reminded me of fury of a Time Lord Ten). And like, he's not ignorant of why Finetimers look at him this way. They always knew, just never were on the practical not abstract side of the deal.

So Ricky the Doctor Doll works not only as a meta textual self reflexive parody, but also a contrast. Not so much as a "but see, this show, or even this era is not like other girls" masturbation, but more as a reflection on what makes this protagonist who they are. Yes, maybe s6 Eleven was op-ed too much, but that's not what made any Doctor, including this one, who they are. From this perspective the concept that Ricky would not have helped anyone from outside the in-group is... ironic considering how much of a separate chaff from grain sentiment there comes about in response to the Doctor's radical - and often pragmatically wrong! - kindness. Yes, the rationales for when they "should" be less merciful are more solid than skin colour, but I think this element of "this guy is what you WANT the Doctor to be, and not just visually" is there. Can't help thinking of how the destruction of Gallifrey - both in s1 and s12 - gets hailed as "yes, that's what the show is telling us is the RIGHT thing to do, just in general, not to prevent a specific outcome!". Meanwhile Fifteen keeps calling it genocide and remains wistful.

[lady-buggerinton]

My Top Five Polin Scenes in Part One (and why!)

My darling gossipers, so far this show is making literally all of my hopeless romantic dreams for this couple come true and who knows what kind of angst and drama were in for in part two, so before things gets too real I just wanted to go into (too much) depth on my favorite scenes and a few swoon-worthy details from part one! *whips reigns on carriage* shall we?

5. Drawing Room Lesson/Journal

Pen's brain: TOUCH ALERT! HIS HAND IS ON MY BACK.

This scene is so best friend coded with the way they are bantering and flirting the whole time. There's an adorable contrast between Penelope's fear of being discovered and Colin being like it's chill!(when in fact it is not Chill because they get interrupted after 5 minutes of gazing into each others eyes)

He just clearly wanted to be completely alone and behind closed doors platonically with his very beautiful friend (who looks like an angel in this scene) to pretend they are courting. Nothing suspicious about that!

I love how he's so into the lesson to the point that he has set out the lemonade as a prop and brought her to Bridgerton house in the first place specifically because she said it was where she was most comfortable (previously, but he's doing his best, and probably hoping she will become comfortable again, ouch)

Colin being the "dashing suitor" for her to flirt with (loser) and when she's resistant to fake flirting with him he hits her with the, "you don't have to be embarrassed, you know me!" trying to put her at ease. And he succeeds! Penelope is so comfortable during this scene when she's opening up about how it's hard for her to get her personality across, it's so sweet and honest.

And this is when the ROMANCING really starts, I love how it's Penelope who takes the lead here. mostly by accident, but the poor man is still left in shambles.

I do kind of wish for this scene they had gone with a more back and forth flirting moment, and seen them both get a little taste of how overtly flirting with each other would feel rather than her little poetic moment, but it was sweet to see her expose a corner of her feelings for him and watching him get a tad flustered at the compliment.

Ok, while it was rather uncool of her to read his journal, I love this part so much. Because I am no better, I would 100 percent do this given the chance. Her examining the space where he spends time, her running her hand over his pirate coat, (who wouldn't) the quiet yearning of that action. As a snoop myself, this was wish fulfillment.

Penelope being hit with a confusing mix of jealousy and intrigue by the contents of the journal entry, the way she stops reading for just a second and then gives in and devours his writing, not being able to hold back from getting inside his head. Don't think about how she probably missed his letters.

Colin's anger here is warranted, and I liked how he didn't come across as aggro-angry Colin from the books but is still justifiably upset that his privacy has been violated. He is likely aware that there are certain DETAILS he wouldn't want her to be reading, like how he's a lonely lonely sad little man trying to be rakish and roguish because his beautiful platonic friend isn't writing him back and encouraging him like she usually does.

Can I just mention that bandaging a wound is an excellent trope and it's such a good romancing vehicle: the care, the tenderness, the touching! the GRUMPINESS! But my favorite thing about the wound bandaging is his reaction to her complimenting his work, of which he hasn't shown ANYONE. He's just so shocked that she likes it, and clearly starved for her encouragement/anyone to be interested in his travels.

I think its also worth noting that this is THE moment that Colin thinks back to when he's considering activating his chaos tendencies by rolling up to the red ball to interrupt her proposal, so I'm gonna interpret that as him recalling his first realization/admittance to himself that he has feelings for her beyond friendship.

It wouldn't surprise me since it is after this moment that we see the hints of jealousy start to manifest at the full moon ball (looking for her, asking her if she likes a suitor, he's not subtle with it). Can't blame him, he was just touched with intimacy and care, and told his creative outlet is well-written, he is being ROMANCED to the max and he can't handle it.

We also have our first "please" as Pen asks to help, and as we will see, these two can't say no to each other once the magic word is spoken! I hope this theme makes a comeback in part two (please please please)

4. Market Scene

ok, besides a semi-silly looking wig on Colin (reshoots) this scene is first of all, so beautiful.

SHE IS SO FINE IN THIS SCENE I CAN'T EVEN THINK. She looks like a preraphaelite painting and I'm gnawing at the bars of my enclosure.

I literally kept saying "wow" out loud. It actually makes the scene very silly to me because she keeps talking about how she'll never snag a husband and I'm over here on one knee begging for a chance.

If Penelope has been Colin's cheerleader and #1 supporter for their whole friendship, this is where that flips. This scene is all about Pen feeling dejected about her prospects and Colin trying to lift her spirits -basically by saying she doesn't need to work on anything because he already likes her so much without her doing anything but I digress!

There is nothing hotter than your crush talking about a shared memory! Literally nothing! You can see her absolutely light up here when he talks about their first meeting like "I can't believe he remembered" and "Shit, I'm trying to not be in love" and it makes me ache for her.

I am very sad we didn't get a meet cute flashback (hello romcom!!) but this was the next best thing. He's also definitely still in Rake Mode with the way he is being charming and flirty, but there is a core of genuine feeling here as he is trying to get her find her confidence and be more like the non-self conscious children they once were. I believe a lot of the rift between them was directly because she had such strong feelings for him and couldn't just connect with him as friends due to the pedestal she put him on, this scene shows that without that as a barrier, they are able to connect much more naturally.

"Living for the estimation of others is a trap, once you break free the world opens up," he says, and he's starting to realize this idea but hasn't quite put it into practice. I think seeing Penelope struggling to be something she's not, just like he is, shows him how it's not working for either of them. This I think kickstarts his self-reflection and eventual rejection of external pressures later on, leaving him open to pursue other passions.

Ok but what I LOVE most in this scene is his subtle digging for information about her that she isn't forthcoming with. He asks her why she wants a husband and where she feels most comfortable, peppering her with questions and also giving her zero personal space. He's very curious about her and what is going on inside, but she's not exactly open with him at this point, giving short and simple answers.

She's genuinely not used to someone asking her this many questions about herself, receiving this kind of devoted attention, and she clearly doesn't know quite how to respond. In fact, the dynamic has always been reversed, where she was encouraging and inquiring about him, so this switch is just excellent. there have been little moments throughout the series where he asks about her and she always seems to deflect to talking more about him, so it's nice to see this shift.

Also fun detail, the grecian statues behind them are a little nod to the eros and psyche vibes of the scene as cupid is trying to find a match for his psyche, but is slowly beginning to fall for her, his curiosity the first step towards total downfall.

When he asks about Eloise is where Pen just completely shuts down and says she has to leave, and the "before we are noticed" with the little smile? I have fallen in love. She's clearly using that as an excuse to dodge the question, and it is almost an inside joke, sadly. As if she's saying "No one would believe you are courting me anyway haha". And yet he's clearly bummed she's leaving, he was having such a good time, and she leaves him hanging, wanting to know more. I also absolutely love the Rae side eye, lethal!

3. Candy Tent

Post-kiss insanity is on full display here. The way she beckons him with a sexy head tilt and he came running, the way his hands give away his nervousness and his eyes keep locking on her helplessly. Just FULL ON crush mode. The soft "How are you?" he missed her!

Also outfits are incredible here, the pearls in the hair, the painted vest, Colin inventing the color brown, it's a rococo dream. The plushy pink of the tent, the ambiance, everything is just in a word: sumptuous? never used that but it feels right here.

Pen's giddiness here is just adorable, she's experiencing blatant interest for the first time and I couldn't be happier for her. But someone else is very peeved, indeed. He's trying to play the part of supportive friend while also just kind of feeling a lot of "confounding feelings"

The way he is trying to be so casual and attempting to keep up his swagger, but his true feelings are showing through BAD kind of harkens back to how Pen would interact with Colin in s1 and 2, with barely contained affection and hope. The script has been FLIPPED and it feels so good!!

I literally squeal every time he asks her if she's formed an attachment to Debling, this is the shit I signed up for!! Her saying Debling is not "unpleasant to gaze upon" and watching Colin just completely glitch out with jealousy. He's like AND WHAT ABOUT ME! Must be frustrating to be the most eligible bachelor of the season, and yet your very beautiful crush friend is complementing another man on his looks. When your crush expresses interest in someone it can be truly insanity inducing, so I feel for him here.

Pen is oblivious completely, she doesn't think any of what she is saying is negatively affecting him, in fact she thinks this news will make him happy! His lessons worked, she didn't care about being perceived and it is having the desired affect! and yet, he's miserable. Mission accomplished unsuccessfully if you will.

He does ALMOST a good job of hiding his feelings, but if Pen were not completely convinced he couldn't have feelings for her, I think she would've picked up on the vibes here. He's way less enthusiastic about the lessons, and is giving fairly curt responses, when before he was yapping on about being yourself and such.

Then of course the blatant staring at her mouth, being the yearning sort of man he is and likely recalling their kiss in detail, reminder it's been at least a week since. She's romancing him without even trying. It also makes sense for "food motivated" Colin to have Penelope + cake equals critical override of his facial expressions and his literally standing there slack-jawed with lust.

His soft "good luck", when she leaves and the fact that he doesn't mean it AT ALL.

I've seen it talked about, but it makes a lot of sense that Penelope wasn't as affected by the kiss as he was. I'm sure she enjoyed it, but for her the kiss was an end (more on that later) and for him it was the moment he admitted his feelings (which were already growing slowly). so it makes sense the yearning is very colin-sided in this scene.

Apart from the yearning, it's also just sweet to see them in cahoots and discussing this development with Debling like its a little group project, and its the perfect scene to show Down Bad Colin, and I love it. She also clearly wants him to share with her in her success, still wanting to be close to him in any way she can, which if I think about too much I'll cry.

Bonus points for him eating the cake later on, such an intimate detail, he just wants to be close to her in any way he can. CRIMINAL! ARREST HIM!

2. First kiss/Dream Sequence

Ok I'm combining these scenes because they happen back to back and sort of like a mirror of each other, sue me. This first kiss scene is, as Whistledown says, RECKLESS. It's nonsensical, it's desperate, and it's beautiful.

This scene has only improved upon rewatches, it really has everything. Best kiss scene on Bridgerton and possibly in anything ever? no doubt no doubt?

The silly back and forth on the "You're not going to die" and the way she doesn't back down when he seems to get embarrassed, but instead says what? The Magic Word! "Please" she says, which of course is both of their activation word. His expressions here definitely mirror the book, where as soon as she asks him to kiss her, he's a bit taken aback by how much he realizes he wants to already.

This is such a low moment for Penelope, and it's one parts embarrassing and two parts brave of her to ask him to kiss her. In her position, she doesn't even have her pride left, so why not ask the boy you love to kiss you? nothing will come of it anyway, and he probably won't even do it, so why not ask? And what are friends for!

then the moment comes, and the music swells, as does the tension as he closes the distance between them, her shocked face and shallow breaths as she realizes its actually going to happen, the way he lifts her face to his with his hand under her chin. It's just pure romance. and this thing between them, this space that has never been crossed, is being crossed, and it feels insane. reckless. intimate!!

What I love is the shot that focuses on his face after they deepen the kiss, he's intent and confused by how good this feels, how little like kindness this is for him as soon as their lips touch. Like we will see later, he just kind of mind-blanks and forgets what is happening.

Whatever he thought they were has just crumbled with this kiss, and he leans his forehead against hers, no awkwardness when there is such tenderness. which is why he's so shook when she whispers "thank you", and rushes off. he's like "wait why is she thanking me? where am I? weren't we doing something here?" The hopeful strings as it focuses on his dumbstruck face, the earth literally shifting under his feet in that moment. UNREAL.

THE DREAM: I won't say a lot about the dream sequence but I just had to throw it in here because it shows how aligned they are romantically. They are both HUGE romantics, and he has orchestrated this sort of do-over kiss where he's really going for it and proving to her that he wants this too, he wants her. And she's enjoying herself, clearly, which we know is something Colin wants more than anything. It's a great way to show his inner feelings with the lack of an inner monologue that a book brings. And this is clearly a sort of parody of Bridgerton itself, or at least the books. It's over the top, a little silly, and exactly what we all want to see.

This dream also isn't just ripping off clothes, it's emotional, a key element is him expressing how he's been thinking about her, consumed by her. This kiss also isn't as innocent and patient as the first kiss, and it's full of Reciprocation, she can't stop thinking about him either. AND NEITHER CAN I!!!

Both of these kiss scenes also set up our contrasting feelings, where Pen views their first kiss as an end of a dream, a bittersweet act to finally let go off him, the dream of him. And then his dream shows the opposite, how she's ignited something in him that begins his dream of her, awake and asleep. Dream-swap! Also the hand on the wall behind her to catch her from hitting the wall. no comment.

1. Carriage Scene

Yeah like what can I say! It's incredible! I honestly have no idea how they can top this scene, but honestly if this is the best love scene they share in the season I am 10000% content. All of my little qualms with how they did the season melt away when I watch this scene because this was what was crucial to nail and they NAILED IT. TO THE WALL BABY. YAY.

And how did he gain access to the carriage (and Penelope)?? by saying please!! we love the magic word!! I do like the confession a lot, especially the "what if I did have feelings for you?" and the way he gets to his KNEES, a truly inspired moment.

How he completely dies inside when she says they are friends, and still accepts it with grace. There were SO many obstacles to him expressing his feelings to her this night, and he just red rovered each one, and we are all very grateful.

Something about this scene is just built different, I like a lot of the love scenes in the show, but this one has some kind of secret ingredient that we didn't know we'd been missing. Maybe its the location, the context, the way they are just grasping at each other desperately (which if you think about how Penelope thought this was a one time thing in the books and she wanted to make the most of it, actually don't think about that)

He's also just so sweet about it, he's not angry, or insistent, he's just honest and intent. and she's just bewildered and INTO IT.

The lightning is gorgeous, the way it looks like Penelope is catching on fire and glowing. the catharsis, the giving into passion. The way she smiles like her dreams are coming true (because they are) before he just completely attacks her. What else can I say but EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

so many of the kisses are so tender and gentle, and they just build and build and build in intensity as they get lost in each other.

on a more horny note, so many moments here actually make me physically roll my eyes back in my head with how insane they make me. The desperate boob grab, the consensual nod, the way his hand slips under her dress, they were truly so insane for this. something tells me they knew I've waited literal years for this, so they knew they had to make it good.

Someone said Nicola should get an Emmy nom for moans, and she should, somehow they don't come across as cartoonish at all, and it doesn't take me out of the scene like some "noise making" does in these types of scenes. and for the record I'm not jealous at all, of either of them. in fact, no sooner did my head hit the pillow that I was met with complete and total darkness....not even a dream....

Like everything I could say has already been said, but it was so much better than I thought it was going to be, blew my expectations out of the water and DELIVERED. and DEVOURED. and RUINED ME. AND I AM VERY GRATEFUL.

Anyway that's all, I'm very afraid for part two so I needed some escapism, why am I already nostalgic for the good ol' times when Polin was happy for 6 minutes. thanks for reading! <3

[ellecdc]

While I don't like to spend time feeding into negativity on my page, I received a rude/aggressive comment which, though it had been sent to me anonymously, I have reason to suspect who it might have been from; so while I'm not going to broadcast it, it prompted something that I would like to remind anyone who might need it [which is truly maybe only 0.02% of you]

I have been on this app for 4 months; I have gotten hundreds [if not thousands] of asks sent to me during that time and I have always made a solid effort to respond to anyone and everyone who has taken time out of their day to reach out to me or even leave comments on my fics because it truly means the world to me

Over the past 4 months and throughout the hundred [or thousands] of asks and just as many comments and messages, I have only ever received 2 negative/rude/insulting asks - both were sent anonymously, one I had responded to and one I have blocked

And while this blog has grown bigger than I have ever imagined possible for myself and I now receive the most number of asks and requests than I ever had before, I continue to try to stay active, diligent in my responses, and enthusiastic in my chats and conversations with you all

I will admit that I have many unanswered asks in my inbox right now from a large number of my mutuals, listed anons, and many more requests that I have been saving for when the inspiration hits - I cannot respond to everyone and everything all of the time and for the most part, people have been very understanding about that

Sometimes I save chats for later when I have the headspace for it, sometimes I'll answer on the whim, and sometimes I save simple chats that I actually think would make for a good fic idea!

But it's important to note that I don't owe anyone the explanation I just gave to you all

The people that you interact with on this app are just that - people

People who have good days and bad days, people who have jobs and lives and loved ones who take precedence, and people who don't actually owe you anything

This is true whether you're a mutual, whether you're a dutiful fan, whether you're a listed anon, or otherwise - blogs don't owe you anything

They don't owe you a response, they don't owe you their time or energy, and they don't owe you their 110% every time you interact with them

I give my best to every single person I have spoken to on here, and some days my best is better than other days. Sometimes I get so excited when I'm out with friends or at work when I notice an ask from someone - mutual, anon, or otherwise - that I reply immediately because I just cannot wait to chat. This means I'm not always sitting down at my computer and able to give every single response the same amount of time or effort because I am a) busy, b) perhaps a little distracted and c) human

But I don't owe anyone that explanation either

This blog has always felt like a super niche book club filled with likeminded people who loved the same things I do, loved the same characters that I do, and who enjoyed chatting about it. It has also felt like a fun and wholesome community that I am happy to be apart of

And while I like to think that my blog is a safe space for everyone and anyone who might want to visit it; it's a safe space for me first

This blog is my space and my safe haven; you are welcome to it - but that welcome is a privilege, not a right - and I am not obligated to cater it to you

Like I said, I have only ever received two rude asks, but even though 99.98% of my messages are positive, the negative ones feel the loudest

Please think before you send criticizing asks to any blog; the 'saddest' thing of all is being both cowardly and cruel to people you don't know

& again, as always, thank you all for being here with me 🫶

-L

[mcromwell]

Four years ago, I installed TikTok and began making art videos to promote my art business. I steadily got better at making videos, had a few big hits, grew my follower count to 75k (my largest on any social platform ever, to this day) and even qualified for the app's creator program, which netted me a fair chunk of change for a few months. Right when I started considering it an integral part of my business, engagement started tanking. Despite my follower count and trying to keep up with trends and editing techniques designed to retain viewers, my videos went from getting about 10k views to less than a thousand--that's not even 10% of my follower-count. The app slowly stopped recommending my videos to anyone, followers or on the FYP. For months. And then after TikTok was voted to be banned in the US, it got even worse, and the CEO even stated in his video addressing the ban that they would "not be able to pay creators as much due to spending more money on legal fees to challenge the vote". At that time I was grimly reminded of what I already knew about social media sites: they aren't your friend and they don't care about you. They'll give you something "nice" (a chance at monetization and virality) with the hope that you'll keep making content for their content farm, and when your videos don't get views, the gambling mindset of "maybe next video will do well" or "the algorithm is just weird right now, maybe it will improve if I just keep going" will keep you addicted.

I finally hit a wall. I can't waste my time. I have very little time to achieve what I want to due to my health. So making videos that get 300 views and no comments is definitely a waste of my time. I used to say good things about the algorithm, how it shows you niche things instead of only just the popular stuff, but clearly that isn't the case. My videos posted elsewhere get tons more interactions and engagement. I am stepping back from TikTok for a while; I even uninstalled it. The endless scrolling is not good for me, either.

All that to say: art videos will be less frequent. The only places I'd be making them for is Instagram and YouTube, and I think if I'm going to pick one to focus on, it'll be Youtube. Subscribe to my channel here, where I am slowly uploading my entire TikTok catalogue of hundreds of art videos.

TikTok did great things for me when it worked. It was really exciting for me to hear folks at in-person events say stuff like, "Oh, I saw a video of this painting!" "Your process is so fun to watch!" I won't forget the support everyone gave me. Thank you.

I hope to use this extra time to focus on my practice more. I want to lean into sketchbook bundle downloads, Patreon, and just simply drawing more! Exploring more! We'll all benefit from that. So here's to newer, healthier directions.

💖 M

[befuddledcinnamonroll]

Catching up on My Stand In episode 6, and I gotta say - I understand Joe.

I'm not talking about whether he's made all the right decisions or not, there's a lot to consider on all sides, but I do understand why he would take the deal with Ming.

It would be lovely to live in a world where it's possible to borrow money from friends & family without strings, but we don't. The nature of our society's relationship to money doesn't allow it.

There's a reason so many marriages fail due to money. There's a reason groups of siblings will stop talking after their parents' estates are distributed. There's a reason friends will fall out over 50 bucks, much less thousands. Money changes relationships.

Because it's never just money.

Sometimes the strings are ones of love, and guilt, and shame, worries that you are letting someone down, or holding someone back.

Look at the relationship between Joe and his new mom - absolutely one of unconditional love. And they are both utterly wracked with guilt about the financial cost the other one incurred due to their illnesses. His mom was ready to fucking die! Over money!

Taking money he doesn't feel like he's earned causes pain for Joe, because it is a huge fucking deal and he knows it. There will be strings. And it will change things.

And I know Joe is a trusting dude and only consciously thinking of not being a burden, not bringing his problem to people he wants to keep as friends, but also, subconsciously, it makes sense there would be hesitance with them.

Wut has been helpful to new Joe, yes, but when old Joe revealed he had been literally kidnapped, what was Wut's response? Sorry, can't help. He didn't even try to talk to anyone, didn't try to problem-solve, come up with a way for Joe to still work - maybe he doesn't go to sets, maybe he trains the new crop of stuntmen, maybe he learns to do something else. The point is, Wut just shrugged and said sorry. That's when old Joe decided to take the dangerous job. And sure Wut feels guilty now, and is trying to make up for it, but - but what would he do when the chips are down? What would he do if Joe struggled to pay him back? If it impacted his wife, his kid?

And sure, Sol may generally be a "good guy", but he still didn't give a shit about knocking Joe to the ground while fighting Ming. He's not entirely selfless. And what happens if he decides he likes new Joe? Wants to date him? You think Joe would feel like he could say no? Striiiiings.

Those relationships would never be the same.

But with Ming - Ming already destroyed his life. There's no guilt in taking from Ming. Joe sees it as going to work, to once again being a stand in. The strings are laid out upfront, he knows just who Ming is, and thinks he can manage it (which of course we know is not true, but he's trying to believe it!)

So yeah, I get it Joe.

[ao3commentoftheday]

i've seen you (or i'm pretty sure it was you) give people advice that boils down to like. just write the scenes you WANT to write, basically, and skip the rest. which i think i want to try to do more because i do NOT have the bandwidth for long or complex stories right now. but i'm wondering if there are good ways to contextualize snapshots like that? like would you suggest adding more context to the metadata/tags/author's notes? or even in the text itself, like do you have suggestions for how to establish or distill a larger AU or story into like. an introductory paragraph?

(also your blog is great, and also you do good work, and i'm sorry if i'm mixing up who said this specific thing. i might have mentioned that i don't have any bandwidth for things lmfao)

I'm forever telling people to skip the boring parts and just write what's fun. There are probably folks out there who wish I'd shut up about it 🤣

I tend to do most of my context-setting in my tags and summary, but author's notes can be useful too if you want to go that route.

To do that, you need to have a clear idea of what it is that you're actually going to write and then you also have to know what your readers need to know in order dive right in with you. But I want to put the emphasis on need to know there. you don't have to get into all of the nitty gritty details first.

If you're writing something smutty in the context of the characters being in a relationship - even though they've never met in canon - then you can tag your fic with established relationship and put in whatever tags related to smut you want, then write a simple summary of the set up. "A and B shower together - and not just to save water."

The reader doesn't need to know how they met or why they got together or when this is happening. They just want to see their ship have shower sex.

If your characters are usually in the Star Trek universe but you want to write them into a period romance, tag your work with regency AU or Bridgerton AU and then give a summary snapshot of what they'll be doing in that setting. "Janeway and Chakotay chaperone Nelix's ball, but rather than simply watching the younger people court, they find themselves the recipients of a matchmaking attempt."

Your readers already know the characters, and they can understand the setting from your tags and summary, so you're ready to get started.

The more you do it, the better you'll get at distilling your idea down into a 1-3 sentence summary.

Characters are in place doing thing and issue arises.

Villain takes action and now our heroes need to fix that

A and B are in current relationship status but inciting incident changes that

In a world where X is true, characters need to do a thing. Unfortunately, Y happens and now they are left doing something else instead. Will they be able to achieve their goal?

One of the shortest fics I've ever posted to AO3 is 37 words. It's an Original Work, so people are coming into it with no information. And yet, between my title, my tags, my summary, and the series it's a part of it is 100% intelligible to anyone in any fandom. [link] I had a joke that I wanted to tell, and I think I landed it pretty well.

Readers will fill in the blanks that you've left empty. All you have to do is give them enough information to fill in whatever you don't provide.

[olderthannetfic]

https://olderthannetfic.tumblr.com/post/751898325515665408/because-not-every-brown-person-is-black#notes

I think what gets me about BIPOC is that is doesn't just describe more Anglo/US race politics. But especially RECENT ones. I think POC is like from the 20's?

BIPOC/POC also explains different layers of systematic oppression and social issues that have been ongoing and are still happening. There are certain big difference between the oppression a Black/Indigenous person faces vs eg East Asians. But that doesn't mean that both don't experience some form of oppression in the American system, and some forms of oppression do still overlap. That is an oppression no actual white group in US faces in any comparable margin, and why the term BIPOC to make it clear it is about that unique oppression makes sense, because of American politics.

Europe has a really weird connection to race that isn't a 1:1 reflection of the US. I think you can also find this in Asia. Europe even used race the same way some people use nationality for some time. If you went by how the system fucks with people, you could definitely talk about black people are heavily oppressed in Europe like in the US, and anyone "Not european enough" but in Europe there's for example also heavy and recent oppression of the Irish, Saami, and Eastern Europeans in Western Europe. Do they face the SAME oppression as example black people in Europe? No historically there are large differences, but certain overlaps. There have been systemic issues in Europe that historically targeted Irish, Saami, and Slavic people. That's something unique to Europe, where white people oppressed other white people. But also oppressed Not white people. That's why BIPOC/POC makes very little sense and feels more like also trying to adopt US racial politics into Europe including the history, which just doesn't work. Maybe terms more unique to Europe should be created to both respect the racial issues of non-white groups in Europe, while also not forgetting that Europeans have for a long time also oppressed and keep oppressing "other" Europeans. And that's not even starting on the racial politics further of into Eastern Europe

BIPOC/POC isn't just about being "Not whites" it's also about the system these people live in. US/Canada has a very specific system that is very unique. I think maybe Australia and New Zealand come close? YOU CAN'T REMOVE THE SYSTEM FROM THAT TERM.

POC living in the Americas found a term that actually encompasses a lot of their unique experiences in this world, and a certain togherness that this caused in that system. That there are certain quirks that you need to understand to really get why the term is so specific to NOT white people living in the US, aka BIPOC, and why it's rooted in the American politics, race politics, and oppression of minorities. It's just weird to take a term that belongs to a very specific experience of racial/ethnic minorities in the US, and try and remove the very specific political and historical context of racial oppression.

Side tangent. In Asia, example China you could also compare their oppression of ethnic and racial minorities to how it's done in West European countries, say Germany. In China anyone not from the Han majority is oppressed by the system, the system is made to oppress anyone who's not part of the majority, which includes anyone now Chinese, which includes black people, and people are subjugated to a forced "conversion" and assimilation into the majority; this specifically includes indigenous Chinese people of minority ethnic groups, like the Yao people. In Germany there's a history of a system that oppresses people who're not white, and ethnic white minorities, like Slavic people, especially during the Germanization of the "country" during Germany's many shifts in borders, where minorities were forcefully assimilated in an attempt Germanize them. These are all people of the same "race" and this is a specific experience in parts of the world where ethnicity is a big factor rather than just race, if not a bigger factor. But again, that's not the experience from the US where race is one of the biggest factor of oppression, because that's how it just went historically in the US after the colonization and everything that followed.

BIPOC makes more sense for Americans because it's their word for their history.

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