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#which is a funny thing to say while attempting to upload a video of the process
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flwrkisses · 10 months
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tiktoks enhypen would make with you.
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happy 3 years of enha!!! to celebrate here's my first ot7 enha headcannon !! i hope you guys enjoyyyy.
genre: fluff. established relationship.
warning: links to tiktok. i do not know anyone in the videos below. not proof read.
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LEE HEESEUNG ‧₊˚❀༉‧
he's not one to outwardly ask to make tiktoks with you, or be really on top of current trends. however, you thought it would be funny to record his reaction to you playing the "water" song associated with the tiktok trend to see if he would look over. it was something most people were doing with their boyfriends and it looked funny. heeseung was well aware of the "water" trend and even did the dance for you one night to make you laugh. however, he did not know people were testing their boyfriends to see if they would look over in attempt to see a girl doing the sensual dance on the screen. so when you take the video you both can't help but laugh uncontrollably. watching him playfully sulk in the corner was also an added plus.
PARK JONGSEONG ‧₊˚❀༉‧
a lot like heeseung, jay is aware of tiktok and maybe some trends however he had never need the lipstick trend you had been dying to do with him. so when you show him the tiktok he can't help but smile a little at the fact that you wanted to do it with him. as you placed the kisses all over his face he giggled and looked in the mirror. it was safe to say that jay had never been covered in lipstick like this before so it made him extremely giggly. even made him want to snap a selfie once you had planted each kiss and made sure the lipstick stain was visible on his tanned skin. you'd have to film the video multiple times because he'd get a little too distracted while looking at you. theres no hiding the love in his eyes for you... fr.
SIM JAEYUN ‧₊˚❀༉‧
he was the one who saw this trend on his fyp and showed you the videos. he thought it was the cutest thing and literally begged you to film it with him. after a couple days on convincing you said yes. so on your way to your dinner date, jake props up his phone on a street lamp and with out rehearsing much filmed the interaction with you. what you didn't expect was for him to lean in and kiss you so passionately and aggressively as he did. in between kisses all you can hear were his happy giggles because he knew he took you off guard in the best way possible. so that one and only take was the one he used to upload, and man he was reaaaaaal proud about it.
PARK SUNGHOON ‧₊˚❀༉‧
you've been dying to post something cute with your boyfriend on social media, however sunghoon is so anti pda and couples content it took him a little bit on convincing. luckily, when you showed him this trend he realized he hardly had to be in the video and the focus was on you, which in his shy nature he really enjoyed. so when you guys went outside to film it, he didn't think about his speed or force. grabbing you to his chest a little too roughly made the both of you burst out into laughter uncontrollably. he obviously apologized for almost snapping you in half in between his sweet smile and chuckles. and when you both looked back at the video, sunghoon begged you to post it because he just thought the end result was way too funny not to put out there.
KIM SEONWOO ‧₊˚❀༉‧
sunoo loves scrolling through tiktok, he's on all the trends and knows all about the "sassy man apocalypse". and is very proud to say he is in fact part of it. he always talks about how you're so lucky to have such a soft, sensitive, and sassy boyfriend to keep it real with you all the time. however, he never thought you would make a tiktok like this and post it. he honestly had no idea why you were filming him while he played on his phone, and of course gave you the hardest side eye on earth. but, later you show hin the video you made and it made him laugh. he knew he had to watch his facial expressions moving forward because his face said it all in that video. yes you have a sassy man but you wouldn't have it any other way!
YANG JUNGWON ‧₊˚❀༉‧
being honest, jungwon has always let you know how much he hates cringy couple tiktok trends and tends to make fun of them. so one day when you're out in the park he sees another couple doing a rather sweet looking trend and it makes him want to immediately make fun of it. so when he gives you the idea of spinning and then running at you at full speed you laugh and agree. while filming you couldn't help but notice his bright dimpled smile coming at you at as he ran towards you. you fought the urge of stopping him in his tracks and kissing his excessively cute face and ran away as instructed. watching the video back, the both of you couldn't help but laugh. it ended up being much cuter than intended but, you guys were always an unintentionally cute couple.
NISHIMURA RIKI ‧₊˚❀༉‧
riki is the definition of your hype man. if you do something he stands and watches happily all the time and usually hypes you up while doing it. so when you pull out your phone and prop it up while on a walk home after dinner, he couldn't help but watch you dance to your little tiktok song. if he's being honest, he's not a tiktok type guy and a little like jungwon finds couple tiktok trends kinda cringy and honestly most tiktok trends cringe in general. he's always in his head about looking cool... but, when you encorage him to dance a little he gets kinda into it making it fun for both of you. looking back at the video he thinks it's funny and actually kinda cute. but he never expected you to post it. it was just a video of the two of you messing around like young people do, deep down however he's actually kinda happy you're showing him off... even if it is on tiktok.
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©flwrkisses ; please do not copy, translate, repost and/or reuse my work without my permission. (2023)
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pipebombsabitsuki · 6 months
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uh.. hello
today I wanted to talk about my most favorite game ever, it's a game that has been by my side for many years and has helped me at my worst times... so it's kind of my comfort zone.
I know it's not the usual, but.. I guess that's just me!
so, I'd like to talk about the first song of the game's soundtrack I ever heard.. even though it's actually the last track in the official playlist,,,, funny that, right?
THE TITLE SCREEN!
I can't really upload the video with the track.. i think, so, I'm going to just link the video. if the link doesn't work or the video is unavailable or something just please please just let me know..
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Now, I know, I know... it looks creepy and scary, but it's going to be fine, okay? It won't hurt you, I promise. There aren't any weird sudden imagery or strident sounds.. it's just a quiet, eerie tune...
But! if the imagery is too unnerving I understand! you don't have to force yourself to experience these things if you don't want to. that doesn't make you weak or a coward! if anything, attempting to try new things is a very brave thing to do! and knowing when something isn't for you is a sign of wisdom and maturity. so whatever you do, be proud of yourself!
Now, I'm going to talk about dotflow's title screen for a bit.. would you entertain me?
"Very well, let us ramble on, then, my friend, old sport!"
A warm welcome.....
I am always amazed by how... empty and hollow the music sounds. And it's not just the simplicity of a loop or instruments used, but the sound, the melody and its endless repeating, somehow, when combined together, despite the fact that it's just sort of a remix of Yume Nikki's title theme, deliver a profound blow on consciousness... at least for me it feels that way.
I remember the first time I loaded the game, quite a while ago. It was during one of those times of my life, I was moved to that studio at the seaside town because they said the marine climate would alleviate my skin issue. I had just recovered from anemia and was feeling physically okay, but somehow my time there I felt so.... numb. I didn't know anyone in that fishing town, and the people were very cold and distant.. besides, this was during winter, so instead of a blue sky there were only foggy days and storms... which I kinda liked, actually,,, hehehe :,) I lived there by myself for around three weeks, and during those weeks this tune was just stuck in my head, I couldn't help but feel incredibly lonely, as if I was abandonned at the bottom of a lightless ocean...
Needless to say, the game itself was one hell of a nightmarish fever dream and I enjoyed every bit of it, despite the fear, despite the uneasiness I felt...
And I have to admit it, this game was scary. Not because of creepy and gory imagery (though there was plenty of that) and not because of sudden uncalled jumpscares (there were actually none of this kind) but because of the sheer persistent atmosphere of this... decrepit, defunct, rusted world, that is doomed to corrode and tumble down into oblivion more as the time passes. The decay, the silent unspoken hopelessness were present even in somewhat more colourful and cheerful areas, those little sanctuaries, (probably) representing past memories of Sabitsuki that didn't change the overall dreadful scheme of things one bit. I don't know, maybe the author tried to make their own "edgy dream diary game", because in certain parts it does feel that the game is being extreme for the sake of being extreme, but... I still love it. I keep coming back to it.
I still hear this tune in my head.
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happy-tori-friends · 4 months
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a collection of reposts from twotter including the long ago promised oc ramblings
1. The OC Ramblings
i had an oc named emily that i shipped with splendid actually. she ended up becoming a non htf oc i used for some lil booklets i wrote in the 3rd grade. i was also under 13 and on 13+ sites bc i was stupid and im 99% sure emily's best friend in that series had the same name and a similar design to a friends htf oc.
i ended up reusing them for a kids book project in a sociology class back in hs. im sad i didn't get to keep it rip
i also apparently had two others named smokey the cat and alex the dog according to an old youtube account? but idr ever making them.
i also submitted a lilac cat named felicity i drew in ms paint to the voting competition lmao.
all of them - except felicity had hair. but tbf i also gave my sonic ocs hair (in the vain of honey the cat, i think her name was) bc i felt weird with them being 'bald'
and smurb (i used some htf oc maker to make him, he was gonna be the masot of a happy tree friends oc rating tumblr blog which since turned into a blog i reblog things to so i can save them for later)
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2. the tomodachi life in my brain (ft. my ocs and shizuo and izaya from durarara)
the tomodachi life-esque apartment in my mind has somehow gotten even funnier. ray and tsubasa invite shizuo and izaya to meet the new ppl who moved into the building. they knock on the door. the door opens and there stand lifty and shifty from happy tree friends. there is a long silent pause. someone shuts the door. there is more silence.
finally tsubasa says 'were those fucking two anthropromorphic green raccoons'
everyone goes back to their apartments, confused as all hell.
3. if i tiktok'd
if i used tiktok id probably make a video of my 3ds closed on my bed and my lifty and shifty plushes sitting in front of it and me going 'okay boys its time for you to get an education :) lets learn about Pokemon War' and i open the 3ds and its pokemon conquest
it just cuts to them looking at each other with 'wtf' and '???' overlayed.
so far they've just stayed on my bedside shelf but i want to be silly with them
the alternative is me tucking them in and going 'goodnight i love you' and then just jump cut to a poorly eduted sequence of them beating the shit out of my self portrait while the pmd outlaw theme plays
im completely and totally unaware that i am not funny at all. ever.
4. cub
human cub htf is just the babysitting mama baby and in this essay i-
5. graphic design is my passion
it would be really easy to snatch cub's hat and put it on the cooking mama baby but how easy do you think it would be to remove cuddles's hair and replace his feet with ones without slippers and recolor him pink to make bunny maloney
i considered drawing him myself but a. the shitty recolor is arguably funnier and b. the last time i attempted to draw in the htf style was my first attempt at magical warrior au mascot and i just accidentally made an actual htf
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if this had eyelashes and an actual more human hairstyle + clothes it would be emily (she had green hair 4 a while according to old doink to youtube uploads but i swear she originally had blue hair + i think the cat club version had blue hair and the version of her i used for my childrens book project in sociology class in hs was based on the cat club version of her and therefor had blue hair)
6. ultima weapon
htf ffxiv au where shifty lifty and splendont just pull out cards and start playing go fish in the ultima weapon fight l during the cutscenes (
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thankskenpenders · 2 years
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Comic-Con has come and gone! It’s been an exciting time for Sonic comic fans with news about the upcoming Scrapnik Island miniseries, a live mural painting from Adam Bryce Thomas, Gigi Dutreix, and co., and more. Also, Penders was there
For a while now Penders has been saying that SDCC 2022 would be where he released the new hardcover reissue of Mobius: 25 Years Later with an added extra chapter and a few names changed, now packaged as The Lara-Su Chronicles: Beginnings. (Before anyone asks: yes, he has the rights to rerelease his old Archie Sonic stories following the lawsuit, and yes, he says he’s going to pay the artists royalties. Kudos to him for that, at least.) While I take every creative endeavor the guy announces on Twitter with a massive grain of salt for obvious reasons, I thought this one might have some small hope of actually happening because it’s mostly just a collected volume of some comics that already exist and not a whole new graphic novel
So, did that happen?
Nope!
But he did show off a new build of the iOS-exclusive The Lara-Su Chronicles motion comic app, which is the main way he plans on releasing these things. He’s shared a few new videos on Twitter, too, so let’s take a look at those. This is what he’s been working on all these years
Let’s tackle these in chronological order. First up: the M25YL “remaster.” (I'm just linking directly to the original tweet because Tumblr won't let me upload more than one video.)
From that first page it's immediately obvious that the hand lettering is gone, replaced with a font. Between the few character names changed to maintain consistency with TLSC and the many translations he's doing, digital lettering is probably just easier on that front. I won't knock him too much for that, although the fact that he kept the same random words bolded is funny to me
No, what really knocks me on my ass here is when we get to the second page and we see that the new motion comic format and the need to show more of the backgrounds means that not even this "remaster" is safe from Ken's horrible fucking photo backgrounds. Here's a direct comparison of how he ruined this panel, originally drawn by Steven Butler and colored by Jason Jensen:
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I should add in here that I don't hate the use of photo backgrounds on principal. You can do some really cool things with mixed media! As is true of basically everything in art, any technique can be cool if it's used with the right intent. I was a Homestuck reader in its heyday, and it made cool use of color-altered photo landscapes and images taken straight off the internet mixed with the cartoony characters and original elements. But this is not that. This isn't trying to be mixed media or alternative or counterculture or whatever, it's just a shoddy attempt to save time on a hamfisted tribute to Silver Age comics
It's also worth noting that Angel Island, which looks extremely tiny here, is in fact the same shitty image Penders has been using as his personal logo for years
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Next up, an excerpt from The Storm, the prologue chapter starring Geoffrey that will be included with the rerelease of M25YL. He's been posting previews of this for years
This one also has voice acting! Bad voice acting!
When asked what happened to Geoffrey's signature accent, Penders said that he only had access to an American actor, and that he'd rather not have him use a fake accent. The audio is apparently also temporary, although how much will or won't be changed in the full release is impossible to predict. Either way, the wooden voice acting does Ken's typically clunky dialogue zero favors here, and it continues to baffle me that he thinks all of these motion comic bells and whistles are somehow worth all the added time and effort when it's been over a fucking decade and he still hasn't released the first of seven planned volumes
Also noteworthy here is that we actually see the point where the timeline-altering energy wave or whatever hits? I guess? I assume that's what's happening, because the art style deliberately changes from Ken's best approximation of what he thinks Archie Sonic looked like (which already isn't great, although the dog girl is almost kinda cute) to his new style for TLSC, which. God. Look at that profile view of Geoffrey
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Lastly we have a preview of the opening of The Lara-Su Chronicles: Shattered Tomorrows, AKA the actual first volume of the series. It's the scene of Lara-Su walking on the beach and shedding a single tear over how Knuckles is dead, as one does
It's not as noticeable in the video, but I need to link to the full res version of the shot of Lara-Su sitting on the rocks so you can appreciate how truly fucking horrendous the jpeg artifacting is. At the risk of referencing Homestuck too many times in one post, this is truly some Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff level shit. I don't know how he did this
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And, at the very end we have a special guest appearance from the one, the only... the unlicensed likeness of Anthony Mackie that he is still fucking using for this character. Despite his appearance changing slightly in other art, this page still very much just uses a redraw(?) of Mackie's IMDB profile photo
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And that's it! If you've been following the updates on this project for years like I have, you may have noticed something
None of these pages are actually new!
I'm pretty sure we've seen every single one of these before. Some of them are from years ago. If there's actual new material in this preview build of the app beyond the addition of speech bubbles to some of these pages, it's not present in these videos. Penders says that his next priority after recharging from the con will be releasing TLSC Beginnings (the M25YL rerelease + that Geoffrey chapter), but it's hard for me to believe he's anywhere close to releasing anything in the state these previews are in, unless he's secretly sitting on a whole bunch of pages that he just didn't want people to read for free at his con table
As usual, though, Penders claims that the responses from Comic-Con attendees were positive, particularly in comparison to the constant dunking he's subjected to on Twitter. People were even buying his prints. (He also posted a photo of Karl Bollers visiting his table. I don't know what Bollers thought about the app.) My kneejerk reaction is that I find this kind of hard to believe, but it's also like... I dunno, people are just generally going to be polite at a con, nine times out of ten. Most people are not going to walk up to someone at an artist alley and be like "hey bro your prints look like dogshit." It isn't the place for that. They don't wanna cause a scene by getting into an argument in the middle of their expensive con trip. I also don't doubt that there are a lot of people out there who probably see the old Archie Sonic comics he always has for sale at cons and go "oh hey I've heard of that" or "oh I read some of those as a kid!" and then realize he was one of the writers and wish him luck on his new endeavors, blissfully unaware of decades of obscure Sonic drama. And while it's well documented that I don't like the guy or his work, I don't think that's a bad thing! People are allowed to be polite to him. I do not want him to get pelted with fucking tomatoes every time he goes outside
But the thing is, most of the feedback the guy's getting is either polite well-wishing within the context of a busy convention, or people spamming him with pictures of Donkey Kong and telling him to retire on Twitter. And so he's shutting out the latter, and taking the fact that people aren't beating his ass in the QRTs at the SDCC show floor as a sign that he's on the right track, and that Twitter is just full of haters looking for ammo
And like. He's not wrong on that last point! People blame him for all sorts of shit he didn't actually do and take many things wildly out of context and spam his replies for fun
But Jesus Christ, my guy. You've been working on these comics for a decade and the art looks like this
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stormblessed95 · 2 years
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Hey Storm, this is a bit of a cheeky ask, as I know that you’ve mentioned this moment before, so feel free to ignore it if it’s too repetitive!! This is in regards to the jikook moments in run BTS episodes 77-78 , as well as the behind the scenes of the episodes (massage and recording). I love the sweetness, flirtiness and sly thirstiness (…jk, rm is trying to hi five you) that we got to see here. It’s currently not on your master list (under run posts) so if ticontinue rewatching run, I’d like too see an individual post just on these moments, if that’s something you’d also be interested in. Kind regards to you and yours!
Second attempt at answering this because tumblr hates me and didn't upload the first one. Lol SIGH. THESE EPISODES THOUGH ARE AMAZING.
Link to the episodes:
In Episode 77, about 7 minutes in. Jin pits Jikook against each other in the palm pushing game. Jimin immediately whines about already having lost since JK is strong. Yet when the game actually starts, JK doesn't even make an attempt to push Jimin, much less trying to win. Jimin just smacks JKs chest a couple times. JK is staring at him with the world's biggest heart eyes. They are all giggling and speaking so softly to each other. The flirting is out of control and we are all clearly intruding. My god. Jin has to interrupt them and cracks a joke about them acting like a couple, asking if they are a dating couple. And then they both just burst into giggles and Jimin basically falls to the floor, thereby losing the game and everyone quickly moves on. Lol
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And then we've got Jimin taking his turn at pictionary with the blow pens. And JK.... got lost watching Jimin... on his knees blowing on that pen. We totally lost him. Namjoon tried to give him a high five, TWICE and JK didn't even notice RM holding his hand in front of him. Not until Jin called him out on it (again, Jin lmfao) and told him to give Joon a high five. Lol JK finally snaps out of it and gives him a high five and some awkward giggles. Before immediately turning back to watch Jimin draw his picture, on his knees with a blow pen. Take what you will from this. Lmao
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In the Behinds for 77, we see JK giving Jimin a back massage with the cutest smile. And Jimin just contently moaning through the whole thing. Which was something. Lol but very cute
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In Episode 78, about 15 minutes in we see JK jokingly ask Jin for the answers to the game. Of which Jimin finds super cute and funny. Almost folding in half with his giggles over it all. JK smiling so big. Everyone else ignoring them and moving on with the game. Jimin will laugh at everything JK does, he is so endeared.
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In the behinds for Episode 78, we get some of the cutest Jimin dances while they eat to Anpanman. Jimin just dancing away in front of the tables. JK ends up joining and dances too and wiggles his hips at Jimin, earning a smile as Jimin notices. Lol looks like Jimin was going to say something too, but the clips ended
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Right after that, we see Jimin continuing to dance to Anpanman, but this time FOR JK, who is now filming him and loving the show. Lol and Jimin seems to be loving acting goofy for JK. JK zooming in on Jimins face a couple times too. This is seriously so freaking cute. JK looks very into it as well. Lol
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These episodes were a LOT in terms of jikookery with how much could be unpacked just from these few moments. Lol like... a lot. Sweetness, flirty and thirsty is the perfect way to describe all of them anon. You are so right on the money. 😅 sometimes I felt like i was interrupting 🙈🤣
Bonus. Because they are all so cute in these episodes. Jimin once again failing to stay in his chair. Tae trying to save him but otherwise unbothered lol
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Everyone feeding each other so sweetly
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NamGiKook being the absolute cutest teammates ever
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Vhopemin being the cutest punishment bunnies ever at the airport
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Thanks for the ask anon! I love these episodes!
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dreamkidddream · 4 years
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Can I please request a scenario/hcs for how the brothers would react to mc giving Lucifer a snickers bar and saying,”you’re not you when you’re hungry “ when Lucifer is giving one of his world famous lectures. Please please
Sorry about the wait! These are just a tad bit short for some of the bros, and I loved the scenario. MC is a brave yet dumb soul. Reader is gender neutral. Hope you enjoy!
Lucifer
So you have chosen DEATH
Not only did you INTERRUPT him, but you also tried to give him some sort of human made treat as a means to calm him down??
Does he look like Beel to you?!
Is super SHOOK
Kinda just stares at you as he processes what in the world you’re doing
Which then turned into anger
You had one thing and that was the AUDACITY to do this
Oh boy, if he wasn’t about to blow his top before he’s definitely going to do it now
Especially since you can see Satan and Belphie trying to hide their grins and hold in their laugh (jk they really don’t care lmao)
While you all have gotten past the point of trying to kill each other (or really them trying to kill you), that doesn’t mean that he won’t flip out and/or change into his demon form
Luckily for everyone, he doesn’t transform.
Unluckily for you, whatever the punishment everybody received you basically got doubled
Have fun walking and cleaning Cerberus for the next 1000 years
Although he did take the Snickers and ate it once everyone left, and he did feel a little bit better
But you definitely don’t need to know that
And it was pretty good too for some human food
Mammon
Immediate shock which turns into panic
Listen human! Just because no one is trying to kill you anymore doesn’t mean you need to joke like that! Geez, are you that dumb??
Even though it was kind of funny, he’s surprisingly smart enough not to laugh (he almost cracked though, almost)
He is the main one that knows how severe Lucifer punishments can get (hello, he’s like the only brother that gets punished on a daily, if not weekly, basis)
Tries to get you to apologize/tell Lucifer that it was a poorly timed joke/distract Lucifer from getting you into anymore trouble
All of which are failed attempts, and convinces Lucifer that Mammon somehow had a hand in this even though you try to tell him otherwise
He stopped listening to either of you
So now you both got twice the punishment, which included hanging upside down in the hallway
Which he complained about obviously, but if he had to be punished he was glad it was you
You also offered him a snickers to make him feel better
Which he proceeded to swing over, flick your forehead, and called you a dumb human
He still took the Snickers though once y’all got down though
Leviathan
Oh man, you were brave enough to do that?!
Has respect for you but also thinks that you’re stupid
Another one that thinks this is funny but is very smart enough to not laugh
However, he does record it
Especially since once he uploads this to the DevilTube he needs you to live to tell the tale
You got punished sure, but look at the potential views MC! Plus, this is a good memory to LOL at in the future
Until Lucifer finds out and bans him from playing video games and buying anything that is even close to resembling Ruri-Chan for life if he doesn’t delete the video
Oh well, it was good while it lasted
Besides he totally didn’t send the video to himself and you already, psh what kind of brother would he be if he did that??
Satan
Do I even need to say it?
This man, as soon as you tried to hand Lucifer the candy, completely lost all composure
Man is laughing so hard that he has actual tears coming out of his eyes and he is close to falling on the ground
MC, if he didn’t love you before (which would be a complete lie), he definitely loves you now
His love and respect for you = through the ROOF
He obviously didn’t make the situation any better, but this is Satan, you think he cares?
He still gets punished without a doubt, but he doesn’t care
He’s definitely taking you to that new cat cafe after this
Think of it as a celebration and a date too
Just, don’t get any ideas of trying this on him. Especially when he’s really mad
Honestly just don’t try this on him at all if you value your life seriously
Asmodeus
Lives for the drama
This man is messy, honey, and does not care
Was shocked that you actually did this, but then wasn’t really surprised
How many “not smart” things have you done since you got here?? Exactly
Was definitely recording this to upload. I mean hello?? The Avatar of Pride, made speechless by a human, and still standing??
Thought it was funny, but wasn’t about to get punished with you. Everyone already has some sort of punishment, he wasn’t about to add on anything else
Was close to uploading the video but was caught, sadly
Was able to convince (ie. whine and pitch a fit) that he learned his lesson and deleted the video
Was sad about the video, but look at the bright side. You guys can totally do a story time about this for his fans, and the candy bar can be proof!
Beelzebub
You were giving away food??
Why are you only offering it to Lucifer and not him? :(
Then remembers the situation that they’re in and realizes that maybe this isn’t the best time to do this
Was thinking at first that the Snickers was enchanted or something to make Lucifer feel less stress or dare I say...happy
Then saw how everyone reacted around the room, and figured out that that wasn’t the case
Knew that Lucifer wouldn’t attack you, and in the worst case scenario that he did, he was ready to protect you
Kinda found it funny, but not really. His mind was too busy focusing on the candy and it was also the fact that he was already in trouble
And Beel rarely gets punished by Lucifer (or at least doesn’t get punished like Mammon and even Levi)
He didn’t want Lucifer to make his punishment worse, so he kept his mouth shut and face straight
Once everyone was dismissed and got their fitting punishment, he immediately went to MC and asked if they had any more bars left
“Of course Beel, I had already saved you some.”
Cue a happy Beel
Went to your room later that night to try it, and immediately knew why they had that slogan
Lucifer definitely should’ve ate it, cause Beel definitely feels much better
Belphegor
Woke up out of his daze to witness this
Another one that obviously found it funny
Wasn’t cracking up like Satan, but definitely chuckling and had a smug grin on his face the whole time
Was proud of you 10000%
The look on Lucifer’s face is just priceless
Still got punished, still didn’t care
After being dismissed, he went straight to you and grabbed you for a celebratory cuddle/napping session
Didn’t care about the punishments
“MC, you’ll have enough time to do it later and I’m sleepy now. *Yawn* See? Let’s go. I got to show you how much I appreciate you for embarrassing Lucifer.”
Makes you the member of the month for the “Anti Lucifer League/Lucifer you SUCK” club with no objections
For sure tried to make a hex (him and Satan) to have the Snickers to appear whenever Lucifer is stressed or about to blow a gasket
You’re a genius, MC, and while Belphie was sure this was going to bite all of you in the ass, it was going to be worth it
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thespoonisvictory · 3 years
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why do you (@ anon, but also you said you agree) say dream has nothing planned ? the dteam have all talked a bunch about how they have a lot of plans for content when george moves to america in dec-jan. dream doesn't upload as frequently as other yters but his uploads are consistent (around 1 video a month) & his vids have only increased in quality/editing
this is going to be very long, but here goes:
for me, there are two types of content ccs make: content that maintains and satisfies their current audience, and content that is good enough to reach new fans and grow both their skills and audience. while obviously you need the second type, the first type is also kind of needed as filler, so ccs don't burn themselves out, and so the fanbase can get a sense of familiarity with your content.
let's use wilbur as an example. content like his arg, skyblock randomizer, his loh video, and his dsmp plot are all examples of "growth" content. they're high quality, tap into a new niche, and show off his skills in different areas. one off streams like chill geoguessr, games like ultimate chicken horse, and his later ylyl streams, chill origins streams, etc, are "maintenance" content. he's usually not reaching many new people with them, but he's maintaining an audience with still high quality content that's familiar to them. neither category is inherently better than the other, and you need both to coexist.
now, overtime, "growth" content will become more familiar and stop pulling in as many new viewers as it's popularity peaks, obviously (what happened with ylyl for wilbur). this isn't a bad thing, but it usually means that if the creator wants to continue growing something has to rise to replace it (100 players at the time got much bigger, I believe, then dsmp).
the issue with dream is that he hasn't produced any "growth" content that's lived up to manhunt in absolutely ages. he's pulling a lot of views, sure, but his attempts at something new to replace it are lack luster at best (for example: his survivalist video underperformed), and his manhunts haven't gotten the same fandom hype, nor have his two most recent manhunts performed up to snuff.
once again, that isn't to say dream is "doomed" or anything, far from. 20 million views is still 20 million views, for god's sake. the issue is that his content isn't progressing towards anything. his streams are nonexistent, and he's mainly riding off the manhunt clout as anything that's not a manhunt under performs. which is fine... until fans get bored of manhunt. he's essentially driven himself into a corner where his content is stagnating and not really improving beyond technical aspects like editing, as you mentioned.
what is he known for, besides manhunt? it used to be speedrunning, but, well...
the same for sapnap, except worse. he's ventured far further into variety than dream, but he hasn't really innovated anything to have him stand on his own. george is a whole other case, and I genuinely think he's the most stable cc in terms of content of all of them, but I'll limit myself to dream here.
while irl content is around the corner, that's a risky venture at best. sure, the vlogs could be a hit, and they definitely will be for his super fans and those attached to his dynamic with the dteam, but the idea that dream will suddenly be this super charismatic and funny person to watch irl when he's never had to deal with so much as a facecam, is unrealistic. once again, sapnap is similar, and george is a whole other can of worms.
tommy's vlogs worked immediately because his confidence level is skyhigh and he has a stage presence like no other. dream doesn't have that built in, so what is irl content going to be beyond them just awkwardly vlogging their experiences? I don't think that they're going to be able to carry high intensity bits like tommy and wilbur, so... what are they going to do lmao. george is by far the most comfortable with it, but he's never had to carry content by itself, which seems ridiculously difficult in public lmao.
this isn't to say the dteam aren't talented, just that this is way out of their wheelhouse and they're going to need time they might not have to learn, practice, and adjust. hardcore fans will love it no matter what, but your average manhunt viewer probably won't enjoy dream carving pumpkins with sapnap, and the internet at large looks down on the dteam.
they have enough viewers to sustain them for years, but nothing new on the horizon that promises continued growth and maintenance of their audiences, especially with minecraft views on the decline (especially as we come of the pandemic)
td;lr: the dteam isn't going anywhere in terms of their livelihoods and hardcore fans, but I don't really see them maintaining their insane popularity
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On Livewire
You know Leslie is probably the most popular and well known female Superman Rogue mainly because they use her so heavily in outside media.
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Which makes sense given her debut in Superman: The Animated Series, but it still kind of fascinates me. They didn't bring her into comics continuity until 2006 apparently, with Gail Simone and John Byrne (Byrne of all the creators!) being the ones to finally fold her in. Even after they brought her in, they still have never given her that much attention or focus which is a disappointment for me frankly, because Livewire is honestly fantastic in Scott McCloud and later Mark Millar's Superman Adventures runs, and I would say with complete sincerity that those two are probably her best writers. "Millar writing a female character well?" you scoff at in disbelief. I know, I was shocked too! But she's funny, clever, and a huge pain in the ass for Supes. Reading how she was used there, and rewatching her STAS incarnation recently, really made a big realization for the character hit me like a lightning bolt (couldn't resist):
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She's basically an evil superpowered Lois Lane! I know I can't have been the first one to realize that, although I haven't seen anyone else actually outright state it anywhere, but c'mon it's so obvious! She's a reporter of a sorts as well thanks to being a disc jockey, her debut in STAS even has her interviewing Lois and Clark! She's got strong opinions on Superman that conflict with the general opinion about him (Lois being pro-Superman when everyone else is more hostile towards him at first, Livewire being anti-Superman when everyone else has embraced him as their hero). She's rude and abrasive, and doesn't care if her opinions offend people, which sure does remind me of Lois at her meanest.
Livewire to me is an examination of what Lois would be like if she abandoned her morals or never really had them in the first place. Leslie doesn't care about the "truth" which is the big difference between her and Lois. Lois can be headstrong, willful, and outright rude, but it's all in service of her pursuit of higher ideals. Livewire doesn't care about that, she carries about getting people to pay attention to her, and getting the recognition and wealth she believes she's owed.
What I'd Do With Livewire
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It wasn't until I had that big realization about Leslie that I figured out what role she should play with regards to Clark: She should be Clark's old college ex who was the one who got him into journalism in the first place.
Clark's college years are unexplored territory narratively, typically we jump from his childhood in Smallville right into his debut in Metropolis. Now I know Clark dated Lori that mermaid back in Pre-Crisis during his college years, and while that's a fun bit of trivia, it doesn't really add anything meaningful in the same way that I think Leslie and Clark dating could. So I'd rather go with Leslie because I think she makes for a better foil for Clark and because the two of them would benefit from having a deeper connection established, plus Leslie could get fleshed out as a character more.
I like the explanation that Clark chose journalism in part because it challenges him in ways his powers can't, but in the comics they've rarely bothered to explain how he chose that field in the first place. I would have meeting Leslie at college be that big moment where he starts to figure himself out. She's assertive and confident, and Clark is attracted to that for similar reasons he's attracted to Lois. Leslie would start out as an optimist and idealist in the same way Clark is, and the two would bond and go into journalism together, with Leslie being the one who really believes in the field initially. They'd both be big believers in the duty of the press to inform and the presses ability to shape public opinion, with Clark attracted to investigative journalism and Leslie attracted more to broadcast and digital journalism. They start to date and for a moment, Clark seriously wonders if this is the one.
The big break between them comes when Clark and Leslie go on a trip around the world during their senior year of college. That trip would be where both of them learn how crappy the world is. Clark always had some idea of how bad things were because of his powers, but the trip is where he really starts to realize that there is a real need for someone of his powers to step up, and that there are hard limits to just how much he can accomplish as a member of the press. That same realization is what shatters Leslie's idealism and optimism. She loses faith in the ability to make a difference, to punch through the wall of public indifference, and as a result she gives up that dream. Instead she decides that if you can't beat them, join them: she switches instead to telling the masses what the powers that be want them to hear in exchange for money, to saying whatever the masses will give her attention and prestige for, embracing tabloid journalism that prioritizes clicks and engagement over information. Ultimately it destroys the relationship between Leslie and Clark with her viewing him as a sap and him viewing her as a sellout.
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I think that origin really would help flesh out her worldview and motivation a lot more. She's a former idealist who has been broken by the world in a similar way to Poison Ivy. Leslie thus acts as a foil to Clark and Lois in that she's someone who let the world rob her of her idealism and sold out on the truth in exchange for material success. She's what Clark or Lois could've been if they took Lex's offer to work for him, and they should recognize that to some degree. Clark should have conflicting feelings for her, not romantically that relationship is dead, but in terms of sometimes he wonders if he's just wasting his life trying to fight for truth and justice. So few people seem to care about those principles, why hold on so tight to them? Why not just look out for his own self-interest the way everyone else seems to? It's the refusal to give up even when it looks pointless that makes the two of them different, and makes Clark a hero and Livewire a villain.
How I'd Like Livewire To Operate
There's a lack of imagination in how Livewire is used on the comic side as I see it.
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Like most Superman Rogues the typical Superman writer doesn't seem to have a clue what to do with her beyond generic "villain" stuff, but that does a disservice to what Livewire brings to the table. Livewire does want to fry Superman to a crisp, but that's not what her daily goal is to accomplish. More importantly, she wants respect and she wants money, and the way she gets both is not by trying to rob banks, it's by leaning into her background as a media personality combined with her new powers. Unleashing electric bolts is honestly the least impressive part of her powerset in terms of her ability to manipulate anything and everything technology.
The Internet? Livewire can crash the entire thing with ease, or restrict access to portions of it. She can do the reverse and smash through firewalls and encryption like it's made of paper. Imagine Livewire shutting off the power grid or causing it to explode, secretly using your "smart" tech to record your every move, uploading ransomware to every piece of technology in Metropolis, emptying the bank accounts of anyone who annoys her, or bringing Metropolis to it's knees thanks to the "City of Tomorrow" being a test ground for the Internet of Things, so everything is connected and thus easily manipulated. Smart cars crash into each other, elevators randomly drop, trains are unable to stop and simply accelerate onward unceasingly, plans attempting to land find their instruments on the fritz, anything and everything is Livewire's to control. But terrorism, while entertaining and occasionally profitable, isn't Livewire's main focus either.
One of my favorite Superman Adventures stories with her had Livewire manipulating TV broadcast signals so that any time there was a male news reporter on screen, the signal wouldn't come through. Stuff like that, where Livewire is making life hell for people in a way that isn't immediately life-threatening is what I envision as her day to day operations, but her bread and butter is fake news. What Livewire is REALLY good at doing is manipulating the public due to her journalism background plus her powers. She can make fake videos that look totally authentic, fake articles that seem to come from credible sources, fake voice recordings, she can make anyone appear to do or say anything through the Internet, and then she can upload that to the devices of every single person in Metropolis.
You can get stories about the mayor being framed for taking bribes, local activists cast as grifters, and supposed upstanding citizens such as Lois Lane and Clark Kent appearing to take orders from criminals like Intergang on what stories to run. Basically you lean into the journalism aspect for Livewire stories where Clark and Lois have to investigate to see whether what Livewire is putting out there is fake or legit, with peoples lives and reputations at stake (including frequently their own).
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And when Superman and Livewire actually do clash physically? I don't care how it gets justified, Livewire simply being that powerful, her lightning being "special", she has the ability to manipulate Superman's bioelectric field, whatever: she can hurt him. When she hits Supes with lightning, it burns. It's painful as all hell. Livewire needs to be a threat and I'd like her to be treated as a powerhouse since I don't see a reason why that shouldn't be the case. Livewire is a really cool Rogue, there's a reason she's managed to keep getting used long after the DCAU ended. I hope the comics creators start utilizing her to her full potential.
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cinnamonest · 4 years
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Yandere Profile -- Eijiro Kirishima
Ahhh I finally finished this one! I love my loud red boy bless him
For @shorkbrian !!
Tws:  Fem reader, yandere, delusional mindsets, kidnapping, manipulation, stalking, mentions of death, normal yandere content, mentions of a high school setting
Tws (below cut): Noncon, throatfucking, pain content
This is also the first time I'm including my new severity scale (which I just made a post about before this one) in a profile!
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Severity Scale
Intelligence/Perceptiveness: 6 Brutality: 5 Physical capability: 9 Mental/emotional instability: 6 Restrictiveness: 5 Sexual sadism: 6 Stubbornness: 8
What are they generally like? Lucid, aware? Obsessive? How do they behave?
He's actually not one of the yanderes that stalks from a distance - he's not so nervous that he can't approach you, no, he's comfortable enough to talk to you in person. Being away from you physically is almost painful, he wants to spend as much time with you as possible. He's also one you might catch onto a little bit, because he's just on the border of being a little lacking in self awareness to the point that he doesn't always realize when he's smothering you. Of course, it aligns well enough with his general personality that you won't think too much of it, just that he can be a little overbearing or clingy.
That being said, he does do his fair share of information collecting when you're not together. Boy is a master at data collection - he'll find socials you forgot you had, posts you made years ago, every major information collection site there is, he'll use to find everything he can about you. Your socials, your friends' socials, your relatives' socials. Even if you have one of those apps that lets you see who's stalking you on your social media, he's already planned ahead for that, and uses a variety of burner accounts so you never notice a thing.
Especially in later stages, as his mental stability is slowly worn down, he's prone to the classic yandere persona flip. Can go from his usual very energetic, spirited, happy go lucky sort of demeanor and, in very shocking and unexpected moments, become highly aggressive towards others, or even snap at you with an uncharacteristic coldness. However, he's aware enough to know he's doing it, and quickly backpedals once he does, apologizing and telling you he's just having a really bad day. Only these "bad days" seem to pile up quite a bit as time goes on.
Similarly, he becomes more delusional with time. At first he might actually be fairly receptive towards your friends, even male ones, and while his behaviors and stalking is present, it's not over-the-top just yet. It will take a few months but gradually he finds himself slipping into an increasing pattern -- just one more hour sitting outside your dorm room, just one more text, one more post of yours from five years ago, just one more of this or that and soon it's completely spiraled out of his control.
He's also aware enough at first to realize you might not be too keen on, you know, essentially imprisonment. If it weren't so fucked up, it would almost be funny to watch him - rehearsing the whole speech he will have to give to darling when she wakes up to himself in the mirror, nervously pacing, not making eye contact the whole time he's explaining himself and later finishing off telling you you're here forever with a "so, uh, yeah," and a nervous little laugh. He's a bit panicked himself but will do his best to calm poor darling down, and, as he tells himself, your initial reaction will be bad, but you'll adjust.
How likely are they to kidnap their darling? How quickly will they do so?
He's surprisingly patient and can bide his time. If you're good, he's one of a few where you may be able to prolong your freedom and evade captivity for a very long time, years even. In order to achieve this, though, you'll have to never question his very much questionable behaviors, listen to him when he says not to talk to anyone else, spending every waking moment with him, that sorta thing. So really, it only works for a very naive darling who is already paranoid of others. For most people, who will, you know, call him out on his bullshit, he'll change his mind about letting you be free pretty quickly.
This is especially true if he feels like he's losing you -- if you just get upset that's one thing, but if he senses you're starting to become wary of him or even avoid him, he'll be pushed to the edge very quickly. He's not the brightest when it comes to his methods, most likely opting for a very simple break-in during your sleep or kidnapping you on the way home sort of deal.
He was something of this "waiting period," a time some types of yanderes have where they try to be normal. These types of yanderes are most likely to start of their relationships as normal and organic and only gradually devolve, or snap, into a higher state of delusion and unhealthy behavior. He's no exception to this, and you may get a few months of a very normal relationship with only small red flags that seem to be gradually increasing. 
How difficult is it to escape from them? How do they keep you restrained? How do they deal with attempted escape? 
To escape, only moderate difficulty, actually. To stay escaped? That's a different story.
You see, he's got a slight predator-prey thing going on and will most likely give you a window of opportunity here or there (not a lot, only when he's carefully arranged it out). Early on he has a tracking device implanted in you while you're knocked out, but never tells you about it. He'll let you get a little ways, never so far that there's any risk, and always stays within very close proximity. Watching your worried eyes as you can't shake the feeling of something watching you, knowing you're questioning your own sanity in your state of paranoia. It's really cute, watching you dart your head back and forth into the shadows, every which way except for the actual place he's standing. Will wait until you inevitably run into seclusion, when you take that turn onto a corner with no eyewitnesses, when you duck into a business closed for the night for cover, and he'll have a hand around your mouth before you can even make a noise.
He knows he should be mad, but he gets off to it so much it's hard to be genuinely angry rather than just... Roughly exerting the pent up energy into you. Which in and of itself is something of a punishment.
How easy are they to trick, deceive, or manipulate?
It's a mix of "more intelligent than he lets on," and "still kinda on the dull side." In particular, he's not very good at telling when someone is lying. It's honestly a coin toss every time you try, which actually makes it more difficult, really. You'll be just hopeful enough that maybe you can deceive him on this one thing, but there's a 50-50 chance it won't work. Unlike a super intelligent yandere who you automatically know better than to try, you'll keep getting your hopes up and trying with him, which ultimately results in more punishments when it fails.
How lenient are they? What privileges can you have, and what will you be denied?
He's moderate on allowances, but still restrictive on contact. As in, he'll get you the things you want, especially once he's making tons of money as a pro. Lets you have a highly controlled phone, complete with internet, but given a lock to prevent commenting or sending or uploading of any kind (aside from messages to him, of course). He doesn't really care too much about the media you consume or whatnot, but if he decides he doesn't like something specifically -- say, youtube videos on lockpicking -- then he'll probably take it away for a time until he can figure out how to better control it.
He's one to let you roam his place to an extent, once again it's a case-by-case basis of "you have this privilege until you do something to lose it." You can cook and access the kitchen until an incident of you hurting yourself or attacking him. You can watch tv and roam around until you break something intentionally out of spite. That sort of thing -- he deals with the problems when they arise, but is generally fairly lenient on your allowances, so really it's very unwise to take that privilege for granted, since it's a lot more than what a lot of yans would allow.
When you're really really good, he'll definitely let you go out with him. As we'll discuss, he likes to emulate normalcy, and really likes the fun kind of dates - theme parks and movies and the like. It'll be quite a while before you get to this stage though, as he has to feel 100% confident you won't try anything at all. Of course, if you do try anything, the privilege will be lost until you earn it back. However, this will also be entirely undercover on his end, probably wearing masks and sunglasses or the like. He doesn't want people to see you with him and recognize him, like a lot of the mha yans, he fears the potential of someone using you against him.
What kind of rules do they have? What kind of punishment would they use?
Once again a "make them up as you go" guy. Listen, he didn't plan much beyond the initial kidnapping you and security, so there's a lot he hasn't thought about. From day one, what's made clear is you're not to leave and that you need to accept the way things are as soon as possible, and you know, be a doll and be sweet for him. As time goes on things get added -- don't look up this or that, don't attack or resist, don't backtalk him, don't give him the cold shoulder, etc etc. Over time it will amount to a lot, actually, you see, he's got a very specific image of how you should behave in his mind. Anything that deviates from that will quickly become a rule. So it's kind of like a puzzle for poor darling, you're not given an exact image of what you're supposed to act like or what you're not allowed to do, you just gradually find out with trial and error and an ever-growing behavioral rule list what is and isn't acceptable
.He can't stand isolation punishments, can't take being away from you for that long. He might try at first, but, almost comically, he cracks very early and brings you back out (just went you thought you were gonna get a break from him). It's primarily, (in our sfw section) a matter of losing privileges. To him, he knows that one of the worst punishments is boredom, so he'll take away your things that occupy you and leave you with nothing, potentially restraining you to a single room, so that you eventually cave and apologize.
How do they deal with rivals, or perceived rivals? Will they get rid of them? Will they kill them themselves, or find another way?
He uses social methods or underhanded, subtle tricks to eliminate people rather than killing them. Frames them for stealing, or some other misdeed to get them expelled, ruins their social reputation, fakes messages to make you hate them, maybe even to make them hate you. that's during the school-age stages of things. Now, an older hero Kirishima, definitely uses his status to get things done the way he wants. Come on, who in their right mind would try to take the girl of a pro hero to begin with? They were asking for it. He has a few similar methods -- ruins their public image, frames them for a crime, or, if they're persistent enough, may very well just use a couple connections to make sure they disappear -- potentially disappear entirely, or perhaps get permanently hospitalized from a bad accident, become the random victim of some villains, etc.
That being said, during the pre-kidnapping stages, he's definitely gonna start fights with other dudes for looking at you the wrong way. Even if it's horrifically embarrassing, he thinks of it as a show of manliness. You'll eventually have to pull him off and calm him down before he pummels the poor victim of choice completely. Over time, this earns him a reputation for being insanely protective, and it makes people start to avoid both him and you, which is all the better in his mind.
How easy is it to make them mad? What does their anger look like?
With most things, he's pretty slow to anger, tries to be very patient and understanding. You have to wittle down that patience with repeated and deliberate disobedience to get a snap out of him - which is highly possible, considering poor darling initially is given no bad reaction. You'll think he's a pushover since he doesn't get super mad the first time, or the second or third, so when he finally does snap it's pretty frightening - it's all the irritation bottled up and released at once.
He tries hard to project the image of who he's known to be - a chill, good natured, optimistic guy, which is why he manages to be so patient. He doesn't want that image ruined for you, and he's very very particular about, and worries about, the image of him in your mind. He has a deep need for you to see him as a heroic figure, to look up to him, and to see him as above you, so he doesn't want to ruin that with violence and anger.
It's usually a literal snap of some sort - whatever he's holding gets slammed down on the table, or crushed or snapped in half (say, a glass or pen). His voice gets low, and builds up into a snarl. Definitely one to grab you by the hair. Drags you to wherever he deems a suitable place to take care of your issues.
So they see you as above them, beneath them, or equal to them?
He doesn't think about these things too much, and really, he's somewhat in the middle or can even fluctuate. A lot of it depends on you. If you're good and obedient, he treats you like you're an angel, says he doesn't deserve you. Now, if you're not being so good, he might sometimes let the frustrations slip out into some bitterness, likewise muttering that you should be a bit more grateful that someone like him loves you so much.
That being said, he does want you to see him as above you, wants you to look up to him and, simply, he wants you to think he's amazing and heroic! He goes out of his way to repeatedly impress you with displays of strength and the like, and, like a lot of the hero yanderes, will frequently subject you to watching the news of him saving people. He exaggerates his heroics significantly and makes sure you know just how many people he saved, and of course, he makes sure to show you every girl that blows up his phone after finding his number somehow, all the adoring females fans, and so on, in a very blatant attempt to make you jealous -- having all those fans does get his ego going a bit.
How determined are they for you to love them? How hard will they try to make it happen? Or are they content just having you?
Definitely strongly determined. He wants not only your acceptance, but also to somewhat normalize the relationship. He emulates a lot of normal behaviors like aforementioned dates, but also things like "date night" at home (cuddles on the couch and watching TV, playing games, takeout etc), little good morning texts for you to wake up to when he has to leave early, making food together. It's so tender and sweet that sometimes you could almost forget that you're being trapped against your will. It also, of course, is very beneficial for his imperatives, considering that that sweetness will only help you adjust more quickly.
Bonus: Is there anything that makes them unique, in comparison to other yanderes?
Probably the previously noted extent to which he strives towards a very butchered resemblance of normalcy. It's like he wants to just be a normal couple... but he doesn't, he can't. I'd say that even he himself kind of struggles with it a bit -- psychologically, he's one of the yanderes that deludes himself because he has to. It doesn't come super naturally, it's that, being forced to recognize how unhealthy and harmful his extreme controlling and possessiveness is, to come to terms with the fact that those urges aren't normal... the guilt would eat him alive if he actually stopped to think about that, if he actually allowed himself to admit that reality to himself. So, he doesn't. He will push that thought away, even though it does exist somewhere deep down, until the day he dies. He couldn't live with himself if he didn't delude himself into believing it's all necessary, and that he's good to you. A lot of his more lenient tendencies stem from this.
It's a conflict between parts of his brain -- a duality of sorts. One part says he wants the normalcy -- he wants dates and love and sex and fun and he wants it all organically, he doesn't want to be a kidnapper, doesn't want to have to do these things. But as much as he wishes he didn't have to, the other part of him does, in fact, say that he has to do these things. Yanderes that have these sorts of internal conflicts due to a strong sense of morality (which he DOES have, really) tend to have a "waiting period," as he does, which I mentioned above -- a time where they try to go about things normally but find themselves unable to.
As a result, I'd say he's one of the yanderes that's actually very likely to start off as an actual boyfriend, rather than a stranger or a friend. He's confident enough to ask you out and charming enough to get a yes, but he just can't control himself over time.
General perverseness: how sexual of a person are they? What’s their drive like? How touchy do they get? Do they have any reservations about sexuality?
Like some of my other yans I've discussed, he has what you call reactive sexuality. On his own, he's average for a young man, but once he has someone he really has a lot of affection for, that drive goes up significantly in their presence. There's a lot more stimulation, after all, it gets those hormones raging and the urge to fuck goes way up pretty quickly now that there's an availability.
He's moderate-to-heavy on the perversion for what you'd expect from a guy like himself. He's far from pure but he knows exactly how to teeter the line of being just gross enough to make you squirm and blush without being such a horndog that he actually offends you or drives you away. Not that he won't push that line as far as he can, constantly testing your boundaries.
As for touchiness, oof he's VERY touchy. Poor darling. It, like many things, increases with time in the pre-kidnapping stage -- even from the get go he's prone to slinging an arm over your shoulder or leaning on you, but that progresses into gradual soft gropes that you almost feel like you imagined, and extended touches, hands gripping your shoulders, etc. Post-kidnapping, very touchy all the time. Very much a cuddler and likes to grab at everything he can when he does so.
How forceful are they? Do they care about your willingness?
It's eh, moderate, but ultimately, as in yandere nature, force will be used if necessary. He's so sweet about it at first that it almost doesn't even feel like it. He tells himself you're afraid, and any lashing out is just because of that. Even if you say he's the problem, he thinks that's just because you're embarrassed to admit you're scared. Everything you can come up with, he'll loop back to that rationalization. It helps him get over any potential guilt he'd otherwise have, which he certainly would if he didn't lie to himself.
He's so sweet about the whole thing its nauseating for poor darling. Wiping away any tears on your face, taking a long long time to prepare you up with fingers and touches and words, and telling you it'll be ok, that it only hurts for a second, that he'll make you feel so good, that you'll be happy this happened just as much as he is.
What sort of kinks or fetishes do they have, or would they fill?
Oral fixation
This boy just... saying he wants you to blow him is understating it. He wants to throatfuck you -- grab you by the hair and use your face like a toy. In the beginning he'll be gentler, but he fantasizes about reaching a point at which he can really just go at it, train your gag reflex to be virtually non-existent. He likes to cum down your throat, but even more he loves pulling out at the last moment and telling you to hold your mouth open and tongue out, jerking off onto your tongue, getting some on your face, and telling you to swallow.
Roleplay/Lingerie
Specifically, he'll get into anything service related. Maid outfits galore. He loves treating you like a doll, really, dressing you up in whatever newest lewdest thing he can find. Definitely keeps up with the newest outfit trends of the egirl type of sphere -- loves the things like thigh highs, virgin killer sweaters, garters, anything of the sort. Very much into the "cutesy" type of stuff on you, expect lots of pastel colors and soft fluffy things. Also 100% will get a tail plug and animal ears of some kind. And it's not just for looks, he likes you to act out the role, too. He's actually super-blushy about the whole idea at first, but he does like the idea of being called "Master," especially when it's all soft and embarrassed coming out of your own mouth. 
Size difference/strength difference
It ties back into the thing of wanting you to look up to him. He loves loves loves seeing the faces and the little squeals you make for him when he gives you displays of raw strength - and he'll be sure to frequently remind you of exactly how strong he is. Standing-fucking, slinging you over his shoulder when he's dragging you back home, picking you up and throwing you on the bed, grabbing you by the hips and lifting your entire body up and down when you're on top of him and using you as effortlessly as if you were a near-weightless fleshlight.
No matter which size you may be, he loves it whichever way. If you're tiny and short it gives him an automatic power rush, but if you're larger and taller he loves that too - it gives him a massive ego boost that he can pin you down and control your body with such ease, bonus points if you thought he couldn't since you're bigger than he is.
Size kink pt 2
Also a size related thing, but specifically dick. Listen I refuse to believe this man doesn't have a girthy, thick dick. And he loves the things it can do to you -- the way you gasp and shudder, even little whimpers of pain. He feels bad if there's any pain, but he can't help but get off to the squeals just a little bit, the tears in your eyes are just so cute. Definitely loves making a visible bulge on your stomach, and will make sure you see it too, holding your head in place to force you to watch your stomach bulge every time he thrusts in. Bulging your throat is equally hot, as mentioned above. And he loves the way that there's just that slightly visible gape for a few minutes after he pulls out as your body adjusts.
Threeways
Perhaps very rare for a yandere, he's one of a few that isn't 100% opposed to sharing, provided it's with special individuals, namely a certain blonde friend. Not so much in the relationship aspect, but a sexual one, and it's very well-controlled on his end, with him having the ultimate power over the whole situation. There will always be things that only HE can do to you that no one else can, of course, and it's all only with those he trusts to never spill about your existence. Still, he just really really likes seeing you get spitroasted, really. Can you blame him?
And of course, he'll make sure to get reassurance from you that you only love him and don't care about Katsuki at all, and if he ever gets even the slightest feeling that that might not be the case, it's a kink he'll give up easily if it means soothing the potential raging jealousy.
How do they feel about pregnancy or babies? Do they want them?
He actually really, really likes the thought of being a dad. It's sort of a pride thing, having a family he can love and support (it's not like you're gonna be allowed to work), showing you off to everyone. And of course, the emotional attachment you'll undoubtedly form, the dependency you'll have on him. 
Getting to watch cum drip out of you and never having to pull out is a nice bonus, too.
What kind of (nsfw) punishments would they use?
Big into overstim. It's perfect because it's a punishment that is both effective, doesn't technically hurt you, and releases all those good chemicals all at the same time. He doesn't initially want to hurt you too bad, but, if you're really bad -- either in terms of the severity of the offense or the number of times you continue to do it -- he can reach a point of anger at which he'll resort to impact-pain-based punishments, too. Ever the sweet one, he actually does research first to make sure he won't go too far and seriously injure you, but once's he's made all the right purchases, I could see him settling on riding crops, he will make you hurt.
And, really, because it all gets him off at the same time -- the strangled little cries and mewls and whimpers are so much hotter than they should  be. He likely blindfolds you the whole time, partially to increase your fear and anticipation, but also so that you don't know he's jerking off to the whole thing.
The aforementioned throatfucking is also an effective and very quick, straight-to-the-point punishment when need be. If he's super mad and doesn't have the self control to take you elsewhere he may very well just dump you on your knees and demand you open your mouth or else you'll be in for a lot more pain. If he's in that kind of borderline-sadist mood he can get cruel with it too -- cumming in your mouth but not letting you swallow, making you hold the gross taste against your tongue for several minutes, or, his favorite guilty pleasure he feels too bad making you do most of the time, slamming your face all the way down and holding his cock all the way down your throat, perfectly still. No matter how hard you try to pull back or beat on his thighs, he has an iron grip and will hold you there until you nearly pass out.
Also, hell, just fucking him can be a punishment if he wants it to be. He can manhandle you with such a brutality and strength that it's genuinely painful. You want to know what it feels like to have a, literally, rock-hard dick ramming into your cervix?
What body parts of their darling do they like the most?
Very much a thigh boy. Not only are they soft and pillowy, but he loves to bite and suck at the insides of your thighs and leave lots and lots of marks. They're just as much for you as they are for him. He makes sure you always wear shorts or short skirts (or nothing is fine too) to make sure said marks are always within your vision.
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natewrightt · 3 years
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hiya, can i get a richie tozier fic? like theyve been like best friends since they were tiny hoomans. and they started dating around age 14 and for dates they just hang out at the arcade
Arcade Dates | R.T
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Summary: Richie ran out of his arcade money for the third time this week.
Ship: Richie Tozier x fem!reader
Warnings: just extreme fluff lmao
Notes: I liked writing this
“Hey! Can I come in?” A very familiar voice called from the door. You smirked, immediately knowing it was Richie and gestured for him to step in. You guessed correct and he was immediately grabbing your waist and pressing kisses to your neck as you straightened your hair.
Richie Tozier: quite the interesting concept. Although, more accurately, YOUR interesting concept. That’s right. You and the infamous trashmouth have been going out for quite some time now.
He claims to have always had feelings for you, but you both know he had originally started liking you.
“Richie!” You shrieked, pushing him out of the way as IT’s large hand came to grab at his throat and, thankfully, missed. Unfortunately for Richie, he hit his head on one of the rocks. The losers all gasped at his pain but was distracted by IT as he started taunting them all. Except you.
The Tozier child felt a warm and welcoming hand caressing his injury softly, waking up to lock eyes with Y/N L/N - the girl who has been there for him ever since he was only 8 years old.
“Thank yo—”
“Oh thank god! Okay, look. We’re making a plan to get IT. Here’s what we’re gonna do...” You pulled him up and started discussing how to defeat the monster.
Although, the only thing he could focus on was how beautiful you looked, even with your panicked expression and slightly ruined clothes and hair.
Richie snapped out of his gaze when you started pretending to straighten his hair. He gasped, pulling away and smiling while putting the straightener down.
“Y/N, my dearest, let’s not ruin this amazing Bob Ross look I have going on right now.” He scolded in a weird british accent, to which you laughed at. Richie smiled at your reaction. It felt great when you thought he was funny.
“Yeah yeah, whatever, let’s go dumbass.” You joked, pulling him by the hand and out the door.
Whilst Richie was swearing at the arcade game, you sat on a bench behind him reading a magazine. The both of you took turns playing the machines - but his were often a lot longer then yours specifically because of his rage towards video games.
Suddenly he was coming up behind you and pecking your cheek. You looked up at him and he smiled, his lips onto yours in less than a second. It was weird of him to do that, he usually asked before he kissed you, especially since this one was so passionate. But, who were you to complain?
And that’s when you felt one of his hands go inside your pocket, which was where your loss change was located.
“Fuck you dude!” You say in annoyance, pushing him off as he laughs. After a few minutes, he lifts himself up and goes to sit beside you.
“Oh come on, princess, just a few bucks?”
“This is the third time this week!”
“That’s what she said!”
You furrowed your brows, confused at the weak attempts of a sex joke to distract you. He sighed, taking off his glasses and giving you puppy dog eyes. No. No, you’re not going to fall for it. You’re not going to fall for it no matter how cute he is-
“Fine. One last time, Richie, I swear.”
His face lights up in excitement and he smiles, pressing a kiss to your cheek again and running to the game to continue.
hey guysss hfjkxk I hope this was good. gonna upload a bunch of IT stuff today <33
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IOTA Reviews: Gang of Secrets
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Well... I'll give this episode one thing. It's better than what we got from both “Truth” and “Lies”, and it did do one of the things I hoped the writers would tackle this season. That's not saying much, but I'll take what I can get.
Let's get into the fourth (chronologically the third) episode of Miraculous Ladybug's fourth season: Gang of Secrets
We start off right after an Akuma battle, and while Cat Noir is eager for their victory fist bump, Ladybug seems to be on edge, insisting that they go on patrol. Cat Noir thinks of a place that they can relax at without talking... and he chooses to take Ladybug to see a romantic comedy.
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We're not even a minute in, people, and it already looks like Ladybug is considering using her authority as Guardian to take away Cat Noir's Miraculous.
Ladybug goes on a brief tangent summarizing what happened with Luka (which conveniently happens to reflect the events of the movie), and naturally isn't happy with the movie. Gee, it's almost like Cat Noir's plan was a bad idea. He seriously tries the whole “pretend to yawn as an excuse to put his arm around Ladybug” trick, so you can't tell me he didn't have romantic intentions here.
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Why Kagami couldn't accept Adrien's “true self” is beyond me.
After storming out of the movie theater, Cat Noir tries to emphasize with Ladybug (key word being “tries”) by going on about how “he knows what a broken heart is like”. At least he didn't ask if she was single now. Ladybug decides to go for a swim, but we cut back to Marinette's house, with Ladybug in her aqua form, implying she went to the pool while still transformed. And here's a big problem with the episode. In theory, I like the idea of Marinette stressing over her new responsibilities, as it could lead to some interesting plotlines. The problem is that when we get something like that in this episode, it's played entirely for laughs. At one point, Alya mentions hearing Marinette crying in the bathroom because of the stress she's been going through. And instead of being a dramatic scene, she just runs out in some Groucho Marx glasses for some reason, because according to the writers, we're supposed to laugh at Marinette suffering from a potential mental breakdown.
This just raises several questions about the way we're supposed to treat Marinette's behavior in this episode. Are we supposed to take this seriously? Not completely, because of how a lot of the “jokes” in the first act of the episode revolve around Marinette's anxiety being driven up to eleven. Are we supposed to see all of this as a joke? Not completely, because the end of the episode is when the writers decide to take Marinette's inner demons seriously. It leads to a very conflicting picture the episode is trying to paint with the way Marintte's conflict is portrayed.
We then cut to what seems to be the only thing the writers like to do with this character now, Alya acting like has control over Marinette's love life.
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Of course those are the only pictures Alya got of Marinette.
Uh... Alya? Honey? Have you even considered the fact that maybe Marinette didn't tell you about Luka because that's none of your damn business??? What gives you the right to know every single detail about your friend's life? I understand that you're a hardcore Adrienette shipper (and an unintentional metaphor for how obsessed the writers are with the Love Square), but why would Marinette be obligated to tell you about Luka?
I know that I asked Marinette if she told Alya about Luka in my “Truth” review, but that was because she continued to force the belief that Marinette still liked Adrien onto her. Yeah, I'm still confused as to why Marinette didn't tell Alya, but the difference is that I was more confused at her not explaining it, and felt it would have made the conflict in the New York special a lot easier. I don't think Marinette has to tell Alya, I just think it would make some things easier between them with how much Alya wants Adrienette to be canon. Marinette has no obligation to tell Alya anything about who she's dating. What goes on in someone's love life is a private matter, and we'll see that Alya has no regards for privacy.
Alya, along with Juleka, Rose, Mylene, and Alix, devises a plan to give Marinette a friendship bracelet to show their support for her. And as usual, Alix has the simple idea to talk to Marinette about what's going on with her, and of course, she's ignored. Sorry, Alix, but this is an Alya episode, where smart choices don't fly here.
We cut back to Marinette's room where we get a pretty good scene where Marinette confides to Tikki about how she knows she has no chance of having a love life. She points out how she had to end things with Luka because of her secrets, and knows that even if she worked up the courage to talk to Adrien, she couldn't do anything because of the same secrets. She can't tell her parents or friends about her secrets and is forced to lie to everyone all the time. The voice actress gives a good performance, and the animators did a good job rendering the red eyes Marinette gets from crying.
And then we get back to the stupid stuff, where Marinette decides to transform into Ladybug and demands Hawkmoth (even though he's Shadowmoth at this point) show himself. This is really just an excuse for the Girl Squad to barge into Marinette's room, where Rose sees the dollhouse Marinette uses to hide the Miracle Ball. Marinette quickly runs back in and tries to hide the the Miracle Ball from her friends, who confront her about her “problem”.
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No, real friends respect boundaries and don't demand to know every single detail about someone's life. They understand that there are secrets they don't have the right to know about. If Alya found out that Alix still needs to sleep with a nightlight and told everyone, would you really be surprised if she got mad at Alya for exposing this secret of hers? Right now, Marinette is clearly uncomfortable about telling her friends about a secret she has, and rather than understand she doesn't want to, they just keep pressing on, and don't care how unhappy she looks.
Unsurprisingly, Marinette tells them all to get out, saying she doesn't want them as friends anymore. Okay, so we're in every salt fic ever written now. Again, we get a good scene where Marinette feels remorseful for what she said (as understandable as it was), while the girls leave with their heads down.
Shadowmoth sends out an Akuma for the friendship bracelet, and because the object had personal meaning to all of them, Alya, Juleka, Rose, Mylene, and Alix all get akumatized into their previous Akuma forms, Lady Wifi, Reflekta (yet again), Princess Fragrance, Horrificator, and Timebreaker respectively. Shadowmoth calls them the “Gang of Secrets”. But they were akumatized because of secrets. Wouldn't a more accurate name be something like “The Honesty Brigate” or “Truth Troop?”
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When I reviewed “Felix”, I had talked about how the motivations for the three Punishers weren't didn't reflect their Akuma forms, which were twisted versions of what they were feeling like at the time. While the same thing applies here (as well as “Heroes' Day”, now that I think about it, though I always thought it was like a drawback to Scarletmoth's powers), the titular Gang of Secrets is actually a pretty good lineup.
I think my main problem in “Felix” is that we didn't get to see the three Akumas working together much because the writers were trying to prioritize Felix as the primary threat of the episode and failed miserably. Here, we get to see a lot of interesting combos and strategies I never really thought about. Lady Wifi uses her powers to freeze some civilians while Timebreaker skates by and absorbs their energy for her skates. Reflekta zaps some other civilians while Princess Fragrance sprays them with her perfume to brainwash them into looking for Marinette, even if it’s the only time this episode that we get to hear “At your service, Princess Fragrance~!”. Horrificator intentionally goes around scaring people while growing in size, acting as the muscle (even though she doesn't do anything in this episode). They all work surprisingly well together, acting like Ladybug and Cat Noir's own Sinister Six.
After making a new safe to hide the Miracle Ball, Lady Wifi breaks into Marinette's room again, so Trixx, the Fox Kwami, uses his power to create a mirage to distract her. But like when Plagg used his Cataclysm in “Style Queen”, it has a little drawback.
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The funny thing is that this doesn't even crack the top 5 in terms of weirdest things to happen to the Eiffel Tower in this show.
We cut to Adrien's room so the show can remind the audience he exists before he transforms into Cat Noir. The two don't meet up in person, but Ladybug tells Cat Noir to keep Timebreaker busy so she doesn't travel back in time while Ladybug goes after Lady Wifi. Of course, she doesn't have the friendship bracelet, but that wasn't Ladybug's plan in the first place.
Her actual plan is talking to Lady Wifi in an attempt to get Alya to break free of Shadowmoth's control. It's short, but it's a nice scene, with Ladybug explaining to Alya that even though they can't know everything about each other, they're still friends. So against all odds, Alya manages to reject the bond with Shadowmoth.
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Oh yeah, it's not like we saw Chloe reject an Akuma in “Miraculer”, right? And Chrismaster giving up his akumatized object for Ladybug to purify? That didn't count either. Alya is clearly the first person to ever do this, and this is why you should immediately accept what happens later on.
Alya tells Ladybug where the Akuma is, and in response, Ladybug gives Alya the Fox Miraculous, which she uses to transform into Rena Rouge... even though she was already benched in “Feast” for endangering herself by uploading a video about the history of the Guardians to the internet, just like how Queen Bee and Ryuko were benched earlier for similar reasons, and the latter only appeared again because Ladybug wanted to get Kagami away from Adrien. Because I guess we're just going to ignore one of the biggest plotpoints of “Miracle Queen” now.
The other Akumas have Cat Noir at their mercy, so Rena Rouge uses her Mirage to create an illusion of Marinette to distract them. Timebreaker goes off to chase the illusion, and while Horrificator, Princess Fragrance, and Reflekta are about to take Ladybug's Miraculous, Rena Rouge and Cat Noir are the ones to break the object. Overall, a really clever climax to the episode.
So after Alya returns her Miraculous to Ladybug, we cut back to Marinette apologizing to her friends, who never apologize for invading her privacy. And while she mentions Luka, Marinette suddenly talks about how hard is to confess her feelings for Adrien, something that was never mentioned in this episode, because the writers are desperately trying to encourage the audience to ship the Love Square again brutally shooting down Lukanette and Adrigami. And after all this, Alya goes back up after everyone else leaves because she can just tell Marinette has another secret. How does she know this?
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Okay, fine, Alya can be supportive of Marinette, and even her worst moments like the New York special were motivated by what she thought would make Marinette happy. A little misguided, and yeah, her teasing can be annoying at times, but she's ultimately there to help push Marinette to be honest with her feelings. “Reporter” is stretching it a little. No matter what the show likes to say, Alya isn't a good reporter. She barely verifies her sources and just posts things online. I'm sorry, but the Ladyblog is basically the superhero equivalent to TMZ. Alya probably doesn't even know who Joseph Pulitzer or Edward R. Murrow are, because rather than reporting the news to the public, she just wants to find things that will get her clicks on her website. Alya's biggest flaw as a character is that she is incredibly impulsive, but like everything else in the show, this flaw is never acknowledged, and is basically rewarded. Why do I say that? Well...
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I have a lot of mixed feelings about this scene. On the one hand, it's very well acted, and the interaction genuinely highlights Marinette and Alya's friendship. Before she tells Alya, Marinette is just opening her heart out to her friend, and the grievances are played completely seriously. Even the reaction Alya gives when she finds out is very subdued, simply showing her shocked face before she gives Marinette a hug, with no dialogue. It's a very profound moment, and it's arguably one of the best in the entire series. Even the ending card doesn't show an action scene, but rather, it continues to focus on the hug while the Kwamis watch.
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And thankfully, the episode doesn't end with the standard upbeat “Duh dun dun dun dunnnn, DA DA DA DA~!” track that almost every episode, no matter how depressing, usually ends with. It's just a really great moment, and a good way to end the episode... on its own.
When you think about previous episodes, like what I've mentioned with Alya, it's just strange that despite all the times she has shown herself to be bad at keeping secrets (like the aforementioned scene in “Feast”, posting a picture of her and Cat Noir kissing on the Ladyblog without her consent, and invading her privacy in this very episode, demanding to know her secrets), Marinette suddenly decides to give Alya a chance. Even worse, she had just said that she wasn't going to force her to tell her anything, which seemed like a strong character moment for her, but then the writers go back on the lesson and have Marinette do what Alya was trying to do the whole episode and tell her she's Ladybug.
Sure, Ladybug told Alya she was the Guardian and to keep it a secret earlier, but this lesson in keeping secrets should have stuck when she first became Rena Rouge in Season 2. I don't have a problem with Alya being Marinette's confidant (lord knows she needs one at this point), but I just don't think Alya is ready for this. It's the same thing with what happened with Adrien in “Syren”, by saying him immaturely threatening to quit being Cat Noir because of Ladybug's secrets was meant to show how he was ready to meet Master Fu even though it showed how selfish he was and was anything but ready. How is an episode where Alya tries to force Marinette into telling her everything she's keeping a secret meant to show she's ready to learn Ladybug's identity. Maybe if this episode kickstarted a character arc for Alya where she learned about why people keep secrets and that getting the truth isn't the right thing to do, culminating in a later episode where Alya learns Ladybug's identity, I'd be fine with that. As it is, this just had some poor timing and was the result of the writers not really thinking this through.
I guess I'm still interested to see where this goes, and how Marinette and Alya's friendship will change as a result of this. Maybe Alya can help Marinette get away to transform, or worry about her safety after an Akuma fight. Although the worst case scenario is that if Cat Noir finds out about this, he'll use it as an excuse to bitch and moan about how Ladybug is still keeping secrets from him and of course, she'll be blamed for whatever happens as a result of that.
Though I can't help but feel like I'm forgetting to mention something. Wasn't there someone else who wanted to know the truth about Marinette?
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OH YEAH, I FORGOT ABOUT HIM JUST LIKE THE WRITERS DID.
This is what really kills the episode for me, just how it goes back on everything established in “Truth”. The whole reason Marinette broke up with Luka in the first place (which motivated the conflict of this episode) was because she realized keeping secrets from him wouldn't lead to a healthy relationship. As much as it pained her, it was a necessary evil Marinette had to do in order to protect her identity.
But now you're telling me that it's okay for Marinette to tell Alya her secret? WHY? How is this any different from what happened with Luka? Like Alya, Luka also wanted to known the truth, but the only difference was the way he confronted Marinette. He calmly asked her about what she was hiding, and even though she couldn't tell him, he respected her boundaries, and they both managed to end things on good terms.
Alya, who has a history of exposing secrets to the public, who barged into Marinette's room and demanded she tell her all of her secrets, is more trustworthy than Luka? This is why I don't buy the writers making Alya Marinette's confidant. I get that they want to give her some more story presence after how she had mostly faded into the background in Season 3, but this just isn't the way to do it.
Barring that, what did I think of the episode?
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Yeah, it's just... it's just okay at best, mediocre at worst. There were a handful of decent moments in the episode, and some creative action scenes. Even stuff like Cat Noir's forced movie date and Alya violating Marinette's privacy isn't anything new, and unlike other episodes, the latter actually seems to apologize for that. The problem, as I already stated, was the ending. I think maybe the ending could have worked if Alya had found out Marinette's identity, but decided to keep it a secret. That way, it would make for an interesting dynamic, with Alya learning to be more responsible while secretly helping come up with ways for Marinette to get away to transform.
But as it stands, the episode is alright, but mostly forgettable if not for the ridiculous ending.
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bentforkent · 3 years
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CAMP FIREFLY - chapter one
word count: 4,210
content warnings: brief joking mention of child death
read on ao3 / read on wattpad (coming soon too lazy to upload there rn lol) / previous part / next part
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Emily wakes up on the first day of camp feeling like someone is sitting on her chest. It’s the same atmosphere as usual; her head rises from the same old flat pillow to the same old bunk above her. It’s the same atmosphere, sure, but today feels fundamentally different, for it’s the first time she’ll be interacting with real campers. Children. A gaggle of young folk coming to her every day for instruction or nurturing or a hand with the hot-glue stick. She’s been trained for this, of course, but what if she messes up a craft? What if she accidentally says “fuck”?
Wide awake, JJ and Penelope are up and bouncing around the cabin cheerily by the time Emily wiggles her toes and comes to from Dreamland. Emily had only awoken in the first place because the early-rising pair tuned the radio to something upbeat and relatively staticless, cranking up the volume. Emily would’ve considered that very rude had she not already slept in for an extra hour, and had she not been greeted with incredible excitement once her eyes popped open.
“She’s awake!” JJ cheered, Penelope replying with a soft good morning!. Emily took her time pulling her body from the mattress, and now sits still-groggy on the floor by her bunk, trying to do her makeup in a tiny, fogged compact mirror. Penelope is standing behind JJ, braiding bright purple ribbons into her hair.
It’s so early it’s still dark outside, so the three of them are illuminated by a sorta-eerie yellow light, an old light bulb wired smack in the center of the cabin. Penelope’s bags are packed by the door, and when Emily notices them, she feels a pang of sadness upon remembering that Penelope will be moving out to her own cabin with her own group of campers today. Emily will get to stay with JJ, which she thinks is quite nice, because the only other option was a single room all the way over by Rossi’s office all by herself. And she’s finding that she quite likes spending time with JJ and Penelope, so newfound solitude would be a drag.
The bunch have spent their past week in training--learning the lay of the land through semi-degraded VHS tapes of Rossi when he was young and sprightly still, walking through the camp and delivering very specific instructions on how to deal with very specific situations. Penelope was in charge of teaching the fun stuff---chants and traditions and how to make friendship bracelets.
On a particularly sweaty, boring training day, Emily pulled Aaron aside--away from the group who was watching an old-Rossi-video about the lake just behind the camp--and asked him if everything was always like this. Emily wasn’t entirely sure what the “this” was, whether she meant peppy or hot or musty or involved, but Aaron had nodded his head sympathetically and walked Emily back to her seat with a whispered, “You’ll get used to it.” Emily was only a tiny bit aware of Penelope’s eyes fixated on her as she slumped back down in the sticky plastic seat and focused back on Rossi-with-hair explaining the stupid history of the stupid lake.
And used to it she got. Spencer, too.
Turns out he shared the same sentiment as Emily--the, “I’m not entirely sure what’s going on, and I don’t know what the hell I’m doing here, but I don’t hate it,” sentiment, as they’d so concisely dubbed it, when they sat together in the back of the big room training was taking place in, gossiping and giggling as Rossi, real Rossi --- old Rossi --- stood in front of the small group and explained yet another probably-self-explanatory camp rule.
For as much training as it feels like they participate in --- or sit through, rather --- Spencer still wakes up on the first day of Real Camp so stressed out he checks for gray hairs in the mirror.
It turns out that you can sit through a series of convoluted VHS tapes and Penelope-lessons and still not know a thing about what you’re supposed to be doing. It also turns out that while Camp Firefly is clearly very loved, it’s not the most...efficient summer camp of the area. Or the most safe. Or staffed. Or large. In fact, Spencer marvels at the fact people even send their kids here to stay. It’s not that the camp is poorly run or anything (to imply that would be to question the abilities of him and his friends, Spencer acknowledges), but there’s got to be better options, is the point.
Besides the small handful of counselors Spencer had become close with, the staff only consists of a trio of kitchen staff, one (one!) lifeguard, and a male nurse that Spencer had spoken to once and left the conversation supremely uneasy at the poor guy giving any medical advice. Spencer made a mental note to try his hardest to not have any health issues during his time here.
The kitchen staff are older---like, appear-in-the-old-training-videos older, but they entertain the rest of the newer, younger staff with stories of their youth. The nature of Camp Firefly means that they have stories about Spencer’s friends, too, as the majority of them have been going to the camp every summer since they were children, aging up into their jobs as counselors.
Spencer hears about the time an elementary-aged Derek begged to help serve food to the other campers just because, and about the time Penelope and JJ (when the story is told, they call her Jennifer) passed a petition calling for Rossi’s retirement around the whole camp, just because he cancelled the Talent Show. (The petition turned up only 4 signatures, and the Talent Show is no longer a Camp Firefly tradition).
It’s awe-inducing to Spencer that these people around him have lived whole lives in these dingy cabins. They’ve known each other for ages, built relationships and traditions and memories and stories, all because their parents chose the cheapest sleepaway camp option.
Spencer wonders how different his life would have turned out if he’d been indoctrinated into Summer Camp Culture in his youth, whether he’d even be at Camp Firefly now. Probably not. Definitely not.
Everyone is hanging out around Rossi’s office when the first bus arrives, lounging against the walls and picking at their cuticles. The sun is meandering its way over the horizon finally, but it still feels impossibly early. The group wears bright orange Camp Firefly t-shirts that are meant to be matching, but budget things mean that some of the shirts are more worn---Aaron’s has the sleeves cut off, and the logo is largely rubbed off of JJ’s---and some are brand new.
The crackling of the bus’ tires signals it’s presence before the vehicle peeks over the hill, and when it’s finally in everyone’s line of vision, it’s like a switch flips. They’re hooting and hollering, jumping and dancing in the name of welcoming this bus. Spencer has a wild grin on his face, and when he meets Emily’s eyes, they share a look of fondness and excitement.
After the first bus arrives, the day goes by as quickly as a montage--a cluster of quickly moving vignettes.
Spencer watches as a young girl stares up at Derek, eyes wide and full of wonder. He’s lifting her--and three other girls’--duffle bags with ease, muscles flexing and shiny with sweat. Same, Spencer thinks, realizing his expression is most likely the same as the girl’s. Derek flashes him a quick, hot smile, and Spencer grins in return.
Emily executes her first craft--a cluster of glitter and string and construction paper--flawlessly. Each group introduces themselves to her with a chorus of “hi Emily,” and it warms her heart more than she expected. One girl missing her front tooth hangs back as her group is leaving--Penelope’s group is leaving--just to tell Emily that she likes her “funny makeup.” It’s just eyeliner, really, it’s not that funny, but the sentiment makes Emily smile nonetheless.
Aaron has some trouble with children in his group picking beds, a small verbal scuffle breaking out between two campers vying for the last top bunk. Aaron, ever a mediator, solves it with a stern glance at the pair and a reminder that the other option out of the two is a bed near a window, another highly-sought-after spot. They fight for the window bed next, and Aaron feels a gray hair sprout on the spot.
Once all of Penelope’s campers have unpacked, she takes them on a top-secret trip down to the lake. It’s definitely not top-secret, it’s a staple of every group’s first-day tour, but Penelope has a knack for making her campers feel special, so they creep around the sandy shore on their tiptoes, whispering, while Andrea the Lifeguard looks on.
Despite the speed and relative easiness of the day, everyone finds themselves exhausted, greeting each other with pantomimes of falling asleep and loud sighs. It’s not been a bad day at all, but a long one, and in an attempt to remedy the feeling Derek graciously offers to run to the supermarket and pick up some fun snacks---a counselors only affair.
Spencer volunteers to accompany him on account of him wanting to spend obscene amounts of time with Derek, and also on the account of Rossi offering his expensive car for Derek to drive. Oh, to feel buttery leather seats and hear music and smell anything but dry leaves and B.O.
As soon as their campers are pawned off to other people and sufficiently supervised, Rossi tosses his keys to Derek, who catches them with a jingle.
“Be back soon,” Derek promises, and Spencer punctuates with a wave and a smile.
The fluorescent lights buzz in Spencer’s ear, comforting him. Bzz, bzz. Hope you like the air conditioning, they call out to him. He sure does.
Normally the energy of these 24/7 high-budget chain grocery stores freak Spencer out. It’s always too bright, too loud, too full-of-people. But tonight, there’s not a soul around except him and Derek and the high-school-aged cashier, so Spencer’s actually feeling particularly soothed. The sounds of Derek’s feet dragging on the shiny floor and the squeaky wheel are good sounds, he decides. He could still do without the candy-coated pop music wafting through the speakers.
The shopping cart remains empty for about fifteen minutes before either of them address it. Derek and Spencer spend those 15 minutes wandering aisles, relatively silent save for short, casual remarks like, “Oh, maybe we should get barbecue chips,” or, “JJ loves these Fruit by The Foot.”
Derek pauses from where he’s pushing the cart and turns to Spencer. “We should probably start shopping for real now, huh?”
Honestly, half of Spencer thought they had been shopping for real already. But apparently, if you’re not putting things in the cart, it doesn’t count, he learns. (Derek might be a misguided teacher in that lesson, though.)
“I like to take my time here, because it’s about the only time during camp I get to be alone,” Derek explains, tossing a loaf of bread into the cart absentmindedly. Bread is not on the list.
Spencer tugs at his fraying string bracelet. “Oh. Sorry, then,” he says. Three boxes of graham crackers are set delicately next to the bread.
“For what?”
“Well, you’re not really alone right now,” Spencer observes.
Derek shrugs casually. “Sure, I guess. But you don’t really count, Spence,” he says.
He means it kindly, Spencer knows. But it’s an odd thing to hear--what does that mean? Is he implying Spencer is too boring, or too quiet? Before Spencer can spiral too much, Derek notices his uncomfortable silence and continues, “Hey, no, I mean because I like spending time with you. Like, it’s easy. I don’t have to think about it.”
Spencer has a flash of a vision of Derek dipping him right there in aisle 6 and planting a nice firm kiss onto his lips. In that vision, there’s a fog machine whirring and some Chopin playing. Vision-Spencer nips at vision-Derek’s lower lip.
Instead of all that, present-moment-Spencer nudges Derek’s shoulder with his own, murmuring a happy little “likewise,” and clinging onto the sound of Derek’s chuckle.
Derek kept his hand on the center console the whole drive home, and Spencer desperately wanted to reach out and grab it, to open his palm and lay in it, letting him be engulfed like a weighted blanket. But he kept his hands to himself, squarely on his thighs.
It’s dark when they return, and the bright LED headlights of Rossi’s fancy car seem out of place when they pull back into the camp. Everything seems out of place. Spencer can’t put his finger on it --- the buildings haven’t shifted, and the camp is exactly the same as it was before he left, and yet he’s got this strange premonition that something is just...off.
Spencer’s shoe is untied, and he can feel the laces whipping his ankle as he and Derek trek to Rossi’s office to return his keys to him. He’d reach down and tie them if not for the plastic bags of groceries in his hand---god forbid he let food sit on the dirty, unpaved path, no matter how many layers of plastic packaging protect it. Besides, the air feels thicker than usual, and each time the knit of his shoelace brushes his skin, Spencer is reminded just how uncomfortable everything feels and how desperate he is to be inside.
Everyone is packed into Rossi’s office when the pair gets there, and Spencer’s stomach sinks the tiniest bit.
Penelope and Emily are lounging in those sticky plastic chairs, showered and smelling like a cocktail of cheap, fruity shampoo. Behind them are Aaron and JJ --- JJ’s standing to braid French braids into Penelope’s wet hair, and Aaron just appears to be shaking out pent-up energy. How he isn’t tired, Spencer doesn’t know. Confused, and with hesitant movements, Derek pushes away a stack of bright-white papers on Rossi’s desk to make space for the grocery bags. “What’s everyone doing in here?” he asks. “I thought we were doing Shifts tonight.”
Now that campers have arrived at the camp, it’s become a little more complicated to hang out as a group in the evenings, as they’ve all got an obligation to be in their cabins just in case. Liabilities, and all that.
The first year Aaron was old enough to become a counselor---he was the first of the bunch to age up into the job---he devised an elaborate, elaborate system that allowed the group to socialize without any sleeping campers being left alone.
It’s complete with maps and rules and a very strict set of time shifts, so in addition to Spencer and Emily’s official training, they’d been trained on the side by a very drill-sergeant-y JJ in what Aaron all those years ago so aptly dubbed “Shifts.”
Neither Spencer nor Emily have got it down yet.
“Rossi has an announcement,” Aaron says, pulling his ankle up behind him into a simple hamstring stretch.
“Yeah, I heard he’s gonna promote you to Head of Grocery Shopping, Der,” Penelope teases, peering jovially at Derek through the corner of her eye.
“Haha,” Derek deadpans, and tosses her a pack of fruit snacks that he’d picked out specifically for her. They're the good brand, the blue bag, and she accepts graciously with a kiss blown in his direction. Derek catches it, and presses it to his cheek.
Emily has noticed that Rossi always slinks into his office after his guests have arrived. He’s never there waiting, never anticipating. She has no clue where he’s coming from, although she assumes it’s from his cabin. He always makes an entrance, always sits with a weird old-guy sigh, and then launches into whatever reason he’d called the meeting in the first place.
On cue, Rossi swings the door open and lowers himself into his chair slowly. Emily anticipates it and then there it is---Rossi sighs that damn sigh, and leans forward onto his desk. Although no one else moves, the air shifts towards him as well, and it feels like the seven of them are all standing nose-to-nose.
Penelope slips Rossi a fruit snack discreetly, sliding it across the table to rest by his elbow.
“You know I love you all very much,” Rossi starts, and Emily feels like she might puke. That’s the thing about her Rossi prediction --- the important part, the part where he speaks, is the part she’ll never be able to guess.
So, she feels like she might puke. Not because she feels ill, of course, but in her experience all of that cheesy, “I love you” bullshit always prefaces the worst news, and she has absolutely no clue what is about to come out of Rossi’s mouth. Her mind leaps to the worst possible conclusion---”You’re firing all of us,” she blurts out, relieving the tension just a tad as JJ bursts into snickers behind her.
Another sigh. “No, I’m not firing you.”
“A kid died?”
“Jesus, Emily, would you let me finish?” Rossi says.
Then, after a deep breath, “Developers are coming tomorrow to look at the land. I’m planning on selling Camp as soon as this summer is finished.”
Oh, Emily thinks.
It hits them like a punch to the gut.
There’s hardly room to breathe in the cabin, let alone fall to the floor, but somehow JJ makes it work. The sound of her knees hitting the wooden floor reverberates and warps through the space.
Emily and Spencer exchange a watery glance and mirror each other, biting the inside of their cheeks at the same time. They share a small, spiritless smile at the misfortune.
Penelope is gasping short and shallow breaths as she staves off cries, reaching down and behind her for JJ, who has tucked her head into her knees, pulling off an emotional Child’s Pose on the filthy floor.
Penelope crying is awkward because Emily is sitting right there, upset as well but characteristically less overt about it. Their knees are touching --- Emily’s right to Penelope’s left --- and yet, there’s no tissue for Emily to give Penelope, no way to console her without feeling irreparably out of place. Emily sinks lower into her seat, wishing she had the confidence to place her hand on Penelope’s leg as a tender signal that she’s there and she understands.
Derek is shoved into Spencer as Aaron pushes past him and out of Rossi’s office. It’s not a malicious push, and the sad look Derek gives Spencer is one of pity both for Aaron and for himself, too. An anguished cry comes from outside, from Aaron, and everyone’s eyes widen a little at the sound.
It’s impressive to Emily just how immediately everyone started crying. Before Rossi had even finished his sentence, there were tears welling up in Penelope’s big hazel eyes. Emily almost feels jealous at the brazen displays of emotion. She wants to love something so hard that she could cry at the drop of a hat over it. Nothing has ever touched her as Camp Firefly has touched Penelope, touched JJ, touched Aaron, touched Derek.
“I feel like my world is crashing around me,” Derek admits shyly. “As stupid as that sounds.”
Spencer nods. He knows the feeling. They sit on the porch of their cabin in creaky rocking chairs, a cloud of bug spray encompassing them.
“It’s like, I grew up at this camp. This camp saved me as a kid.” Derek shakes his head.
This camp is saving me now, Spencer thinks wryly before tucking that thought away in a deep corner of his brain. “I’m really sorry, Derek,” he says sincerely.
The door to the cabin creaks open, and a teary-eyed child steps out onto the porch. His feet are light, and he closes the door behind him slowly, clearly not trying to wake any of his fellow campers. “Derek?” he asks quietly. “I can’t sleep...and I kinda miss my mom.”
“C’mere, then,” Derek says tenderly, and gestures for the boy to sit in one of the unoccupied rocking chairs. “Spencer and I were just talking about how much we miss our moms, right Spence?”
Spencer agrees with a nod and a kind smile directed at the boy, then he takes a backseat to the conversation unfolding in front of him. He watches as Derek effortlessly consoles the weeping child before him by sharing his own stories of similar plights in homesickness and offering jokingly to sing the cabin to sleep next time.
After a few minutes Spencer’s mind starts to wander, curious on how the rest of his friends are sleeping tonight after the news of Camp Firefly’s imminent closure. He hopes Emily is chatting with JJ just as he’s chatting with Derek, comforting her and providing the very few words of solace that would help in this situation. He thinks of Penelope and Aaron, all alone, and he half-considers walking over to each of their cabins just to check on them. He doesn’t, though, because it’s technically against the rules, and because Derek is standing, wrapping up his conversation and holding his hand out to help Spencer up out of his seat. The camper, who Spencer has learned is named Alex, scampers inside, tears dried.
Derek holds intense locked eye-contact with Spencer for a second. His eyes are soul-searching, making it clear that he has something he would like to say to Spencer. Maybe he wants to thank Spencer for listening to him talk, or accompanying him to the grocery store. Spencer quickly flips through a plethora of ideas of what Derek could say next like he’s flipping through a book, but he comes up short.
Derek’s mouth is open slightly, like he’d taken in a breath to speak and then lost his train of thought. The sight of him makes Spencer sweat a little, and just for a moment he feels like maybe he should break the short distance between them and kiss him.
Then Derek is tearing his eyes away, dropping Spencer’s hand, murmuring a gentle, “Sleep well, Spencer,” and retreating inside and to his bunk.
“Goodnight,” Spencer replies, but Derek’s already tucked himself in and turned his back to where Spencer stands by the open door.
Emily is always the last one to fall asleep. She knows this based solely on a feeling, an energy that settles over the camp when everyone else’s eyelashes are finally closed and their breathing patterns slowed. It takes a little longer on this night, considering the 40 new bodies in the vicinity--Welcome, Campers!--and the obviously upsetting news that’d been delivered to her and her friends, but finally Emily feels it. She’s the only one awake.
As much as Emily doesn’t like to spend time to herself, as she often finds herself in rabbit holes of self-loathing thoughts, this nightly hour-or-so of atmospheric solitude is comforting. Usually.
Tonight, she’s reeling with visions of land developers coming to the camp in fancy suits, and clipboards, and leather loafers that are far unsuited to trek through Camp Firefly’s unpaved land. And it sucks to imagine.
Emily has only spent a week or so here at the camp, so she doesn't feel like this loss hits her particularly hard. The only reason she’s even at this tiny camp in the first place is the fact that it’s on the exact opposite end of the country from where she’d spent her spring.
When summer ends, and this camp is gone, all she’ll need to do to heal is move to a new city, and make new friends. Then she’ll repeat the process once she gets hurt or bored. The collection of people who have known and loved Emily Prentiss is so impossibly large, and as a result, large is the collection of people who have lost her and haven’t thought about her since.
With regret, Emily recognizes that the group she’s met and befriended this past week will eventually forget about her, remembering her only as the charismatic figure who took over the Craft Cabin the year the camp closed.
And yet, she feels differently than usual. She thinks of pretty Penelope, who is so sweet and sheepish and shy around her, but blooms into wide smiles and rosy cheeks around others. Of JJ, who eagerly taught her how to braid and make friendship bracelets on only their second day of meeting. Derek and Aaron, the rare macho men who haven’t made her want to gouge her eyes out but instead make her laugh constantly. She thinks of Spencer, the quiet intellectual who she feels such a warmth toward, considering him her baby sibling or her protegé.
She’s not entirely sure of what this emotion is, what it means or what it will mean in the future. What she does know, though, is that she’ll take up as much space as possible until her quiet disband from the mismatched group of friends. It’s how she always goes.
It’s then that she decides fuck the developers and fuck Rossi’s plans. If she’s going down and away with this camp, she might as well make it count. As she closes her eyes, finally ready to sleep, a plan begins to formulate in her mind.
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Chapter 68: December
Hey guys, welcome back.  As you can tell by the title, we have a very special rant in store.  As you guys may know, this rant series is meant to be about me catching up with BCB and where it’s been going recently, and give my thoughts about it.  But today we are going to be doing something a little different, instead we are going to go back.  And I mean WAY back.  To one of if not the most notorious, the most infamous chapter in all of Bittersweet Candy Bowl.  That’s right boys and girls…
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WARNING: Very long Tumblr breaking rant below the break.
If you’re wondering why I’m doing this, it’s mostly because I wanted to do another Let’s Rant video but most of the boys don’t know about BCB.  So when I made comparisons to December, they didn’t really understand what I was talking about.  And I know that some of you new viewers may not understand why people hate December as much as we do.  To really understand, you must put yourself in the shoes of a dedicated reader.  Back to the year of 2011, a simpler time.  A dark time.  And we start off with one of my personal favorite pages in Bittersweet Candy Bowl.
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SNOW.  FUCKING SNOW!
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FUCK. YEEEAAAAAAAH! LET’S HEAR IT FOR FUCKING SNNNNNNOOOOOWWWWWWWW!
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Alright that may seem like an over reaction, but let me set the stage for you alright, because at the time that this chapter came out I was a dedicated reader.  And I mean full blown fan, waiting for the hour to change to read the pages as they came out.  And at this time, Taeshi was going through a real rough time and it was quite apparent to everyone who was in the community.  The plot seemed to stagnate, and there wasn’t much happening.  Taeshi’s behavior had grown very strained and it was the common consensus that she needed to take a break.  
So she did, and in order to take a break the upload schedule turned to two pages a week… The problem was that up to this point, Bittersweet Candy Bowl was uploading on an every other day upload schedule.  Now the problem that comes when you slow down your schedule like that, is that it’s meant to be temporary, or that you compensate that with content in the pages and chapter that makes the wait more bearable or at least less tedious…
Now with all that in mind. Imagine if you will, that you had to wait 4 days for a new page to start a new chapter, and you were greeted by…
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FUCKING SNOW! And a dread filled your heart as you realized you’d have to stare at snow for another full 2 days before you could look at something else, and hope that it’s more interesting than fucking. Snow.
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The next page does not disappoint though, because now we actually have characters! And dialogue!
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And look a joke, haha! Except
Look at all the characters in this page.  You got Daisy, you got Paulo, you got abbey, you got David, you got sir Noodles, and you got a reinforcing action to remind us about how Abbey and Paulo’s relationship is.
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Guess how how many or which of these characters actually matter in this chapter or have an effect on it. Can you guess?
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Yup, yeah that’s right none of em.  Not a single fucking one of these characters matter.  Not a single fucking thing in this page fucking matters at all, it barely even constitutes as a set up for the rest of the chapter.  Congratulations, we just wasted a week of your time. Actually I was wrong, you know what the one and only thing that this page does that means anything?
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There! That one fucking line.  You waited a whole fucking week to digest two pages and all it really tells you that you didn’t know is what FUCKING TIME IT IS! EXCEPT EVEN THAT IS TOLD TO YOU
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BY THE TITLE OF THE FUCKING CHAPTER! I am losing my shit this early because I want to make it abundantly clear just how infuriating this chapter was to read.  This was when I realized we were in for a LONG ride.  To better understand this, the chapters that preceded this one were centered around Lucy’s slow decline into depression, after her friendship with Mike had become fractured leading to her isolating (or at least distancing herself) from Mike (and the rest of the gang by proxy). This chapter was billed to be the culmination of all that fallout, which makes this pacing SO GRATING.
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Thankfully page 3 actually does have characters that matter, and it actually is a set up for what the chapter is going to be centered around which is the kids working on a World War 2 Essay.  
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And we finally get a bit of substance to sink our teeth into! But before we go any further I should tell you a bit about my. Man. Mike. So Mike is a moody bitch.  I talked a bit about what happened to Lucy, but Mike despite literally NOTHING happening to him directly since then aside from the rest of the gang not understanding why he wanted to separate from Lucy is still being moody and bitchy.  And here we see him reach PEAK MOODY MIKE!
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Haha that’s an actually good joke.  I appreciated that when it came out.  
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And so, because Mike is being a moody bitch he ends up sealing his fate and is paired with Lucy. And for a second here, I had hope. Since Taeshi is pretty much declaring how frustrating and stupid Mike’s moodiness has been for the past number of chapters.  Also while we’re here, I’d like to point out how everyone in this page apparently got their arm lopped off.  I mean look!
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At least Lucy was able to find her right arm at the end there.  But also, look at Abbey!
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Oh look at him, you can see how he cares about Mike’s position on distancing from Lucy!  Awww such a good friend.  Oh he’s definitely not going to make a heel turn and accuse others of not caring about Mike!
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I am so glad I saved that image.
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Anyway the next page is Mike and Lucy deciding to go to the library to work on the essay.
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And then the page after that is Lucy trying to make an effort to ease the awkwardness, while Mike gives her the cold shoulder. Congratulations.  We have spent a week, walking to the fucking library.
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The monotony is broken up though, as we get to see that Augustus is at this library.
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It doesn’t stop the back and forth that we just got in the last two pages from continuing though, and as a reminder this is all that we’ve been given to sustain ourselves for three whole weeks!
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At least Augustus is able to break up this feet-dragging by giving us SOMETHING different to talk about.
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Ooh look, something actually interesting! We get some insight into Lucy and Augustus’ relationship. For context, Augustus has been a very interesting side-character; one of the best.  And his relationship with Lucy is a pretty nice one with its own complexities and great chemistry.  As I’ve mentioned before, Lucy had spent the last few chapters isolating herself from Mike to try to let things cool off and respect his wishes.  In that time, she ended up finding company in Augustus, the resident bad boy.  He was suspected of attempted rape on Daisy, but we’re not talking about that.
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Well maybe a little.
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Lucy expresses what she’s dealing with and like before, she’s trying to find understanding from Augustus.
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And he is having NONE OF IT! As someone who actually has serious problems, he calls Lucy out for being a privileged blue-eyed white cat whose only problem in life is being rejected by someone she loves.  
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But Augustus does give Lucy some advice, in how he sees and deals with his situation.  Showing that while he does think Lucy is stupid for even thinking about killing herself over Mike, he does want to help her.  It’s just…
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He’s wrong.  He’s so fucking wrong.
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We now know through the power of hindsight, that Abbey and Daisy’s relationship was a total sham! It wasn’t a healthy loving relationship at all! It was all a lie!
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GOTTA LOVE THEM RETCONS AMIRITE?!
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Nah we haven’t even STARTED to begin.
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Anyway, Augustus leaves and we’re back to this bullshit.  Now Mike’s not just being moody, he’s being judgy!
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Oh no, fuck you Lucy! I don’t want anything to do with you, I want you to be out of my life!
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Hey, what are you doing, talking and having a conversation with someone I don’t care about?  Stop being such a leech! Just because I don’t want you to be in my life, doesn’t mean you can just go and move on to find company in other people!  Why don’t you just die alone and unloved like I tell you to?!
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But don’t worry right after, Lucy breaks the ice and gets a smile out of the boy!
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It’s a breath of fresh air, and we see the dynamic with the two is still there and-
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No, I didn’t buy that when this page came out either. It’s meant to portray that Lucy can make Mike feel better and break him out of his funk, but…yeah at this point I knew better. By the way, it has now been one whole month of December.
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And we’re only a third of the way through.
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And thankfully we’re out of the library.  And even more fortunately…
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Taeshi learned that you don’t have to spend two whole updates on moving your characters from one location to the other!  She’s learned you can smash two pages together and NOT WASTE YOUR AUDIENCE’S FUCKING TIME!
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As for the actual content of this page, Lucy and Mike go to Mike’s house and we get a bit of Lucy interacting with Mike’s family, and how they get along well.  Mike’s still moody as ever though, and we get our first glimpse that things aren’t perfect for him.  Also
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RIP the boy, Chris. he ain’t dead but I do miss him.
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Anyway, the two go to Mike’s room to study, and it’s still awkward until Lucy breaks the silence!
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Old joke is old, but I love it nonetheless.
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Okay, enough foolin’ around. Actually Lucy decides that she’s tired of pussyfooting around, and decides to say, “fuck it” and let off some steam by playing some video games like old times!
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Mike is of course denying it and content in stewing in his anger. But lucy is adamant about doing something to break this stupid cycle of drama.  I like it.  Even though I didn’t buy the bit of Lucy making Mike laugh by showing a funny face, this one I do like.  And while some (especially at the time) would point to this as an example of Lucy emotionally manipulating Mike to get what she wants in making him not angry at her, I would say-
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SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LET ME HAVE THIS ONE, JUST THIS ONCE!  I HAVE BEEN SO GOD DAMN CONTENT STARVED, THIS FUCKING DRAMA HAS BEEN GOING AROUND IN CIRCLES FOR ALMOST TWO YEARS!  MIKE AND LUCY HAVEN’T TALKED OR ADVANCED THEIR POSITIONS IN MONTHS! LET ME EMBRACE THIS ONE LIGHT IN DARKNESS BEFORE IT IS SNUFFED OUT!  LET. ME. HAVE. HOPE.
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THANK YOU!
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And so after a bit of a timelapse we get to see Mike and Lucy playing together, and how the turns tabled!
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It’s great, and we even get a glimpse at how Lucy has been progressing herself.  Perhaps the improvement in gaming being a metaphor of her own self-improvement.
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We even get a bit of Mike reflecting and thinking how it is nice.  And remembering that Lucy isn’t really that bad.
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The scene continues, and we get a peek into Mike’s circumstance.  As Mike kind of reveals that he himself has felt quite alone without Lucy there.  And it’s really touching, it’s good character development.
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And Lucy continues to take initiative to stop the awkwardness, by giving Mike a distraction. Not looking to fill the hole in his heart, not looking to force him to accept her.  But allowing him to enjoy himself in the moment.  It’s nice.  It’s…
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Really…nice…
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Y’know…
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It really was nice.
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Ladies and gentlemen.
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This is December.
[redacted due to Tumblr purposes.  insert the entire Mike yelling scene from January here]
One month.   That’s how long this scene lasted in real-time. Everyone who was a fan in 2011, everyone who had been so deeply invested in these characters watching them grow, interact, struggle, and suffer for years.  All of them could only watch for one entire month as Taeshi ripped their hearts out. People defended this scene when it came out.  There’s still people who defend this scene to this day, saying that Mike was right.  I wasn’t one of those people.  When this scene came out, I was shocked.  I couldn’t understand what was going on, but I knew it was wrong.  It was the first time I ever got into a discussion about BCB, because I just had to understand what the fuck was happening and why.  Why is this happening?  Why would Mike do this?  How is this possible?  And the only response I got, was that I just couldn’t understand.  And y’know…
They were right.  I didn’t understand.  I was never really abused as a child.  I never had bad friends, or was really bullied (except one time).  There was no way I could grasp what the fuck just happened.  Which felt so bizarre, because when this chapter came out…I was 15. I was the same age as these characters and I couldn’t fathom doing what Mike just did.  I couldn’t imagine any of my friends saying what Mike just said. And yet everyone else seemed to understand, to the point I thought that I was the weird one.   Did I just fucking win the social lottery or something and just not have any shitty friends?
Maybe so…But y’know after all these years, stewing and thinking about December which has haunted me as I’m sure it has, many other readers.  And after all this time, running it around my head, and arguing about it, I think I finally understand.  I get it…I finally get what Mike’s saying here.
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That being said, no this scene is still bullshit.
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Now let me tell you why.
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First of all, look at this face.
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Just look at this dopey doe-eyed cute cat right here, BECAUSE YOU WILL NEVER SEE THAT AGAIN.
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But just to recap, let’s start with the actual preamble to the bullshit.  Mike gets a text from Sandy which makes him revert back to his moody Mike self.  And I will say at least here, Mike is in character.  He’s been a bitch this whole chapter, and he’s just snapping back to it because he is reminded “Oh yeah, Sandy exists!” so he tells Lucy to beat it.
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Lucy is understandably frustrated because we were seeming to finally get to a better place between these two characters.  And instead of Mike being upfront about what his problem is, he chooses to shutdown the conversation and act like there’s nothing.  Or to put it in another way…
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So what exactly is causing Mike to revert to his moody mode?
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Right, right, of course. It’s because Sandy’s coming!  And just to catch up those of us blessed enough to not remember…
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This is Sandy.  Mike’s long time long-distance girlfriend and central conflict for BCB for the last…well for pretty much most of BCB at this point.  Mike loves her, bordering on the point of obsession.  To where most of his actions in BCB can be linked directly to Sandy.  We’ll get to that later, but this is all you really need to know right now.  Just briefly keep it in mind,
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Lucy is surprisingly taking it in stride, or at least trying to be supportive of Mike and Sandy’s relationship.  Obviously it does hurt her, but she is trying to make the best of it.  Taking what Augustus had said to heart, in accepting Mike and Sandy’s relationship but still trying to be there for Mike.  Using that to grow and maybe be a stronger person.
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But sadly…this is December.
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And nothing is allowed to grow in December.
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Well…yes.  Partly because we were literally told NINE PAGES AGO!
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I believe this is what the kids call…gaslighting. But I prefer to call it
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BULLSHIT!
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But now we’re getting into it…
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Let’s dig into the real hard bullshit of December.
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You ready?
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I’m ready.
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Yes, right.  Lucy is a bitch who has absolutely nothing for Mike, and never acted like a friend, or god forbid did something selfless for Mike like oh I don’t know…
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Risking her life to try to save you from drowning, when she herself couldn’t swim and knew it could very well lead to her death.
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Or what about when she was almost raped, and put literally put herself between you and danger!
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TWICE! Wait, what the hell? They changed Confrontation! She’s supposed to say…
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Because before mike got pinned he was saying…
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That was like an actually cool and bad ass line.  One of the best moments in BCB, why would you change it?  Why would you change it to something as soft as that? And I’m the guy who wrote a comic where the moral of the story is that you can solve everything through the power of friendship!
But I digress.  Was Lucy mean to Mike?  Yeah.  Did she pick on him a lot in the early chapters? Sure!  But here’s the thing that people seem to forget about those early volumes…
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Mike was kind of a little shit back then!
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Lucy often picked on Mike because he was doing something wrong like trying to treat her like Sandy.
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And lest you forget, Mike was more than capable of doing the exact same things!
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Yes Lucy picked on Mike, but Mike also gave shit to Lucy.  They both were active participants in giving shit to one another, but no it’s not bullying.  It’s giving someone shit for doing something stupid, to keep them grounded, it’s a form of support that helps to build someone up not just through violent means, but because you care enough to want them to stop being stupid.  And as the saying goes, “A good friend will hold you and support you to tell you everything will be okay no matter what. Your best friend, will kick you in the side and tell you to stop being a pussy and get over it.”
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BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT FRIENDS FUCKING DO! THEY DON’T LIFT YOU UP! THEY MAKE YOU PICK YOURSELF UP! AND Y’KNOW WHY MIKE IS THINKING THIS WAY?  YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT THE FUCKING CHERRY ON TOP OF THIS BULLSHIT CAKE IS?!
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Sandy…
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Mother…Fucking…Sandy. Up to this point Sandy herself had little to no presence as a person in this story. I mean she had an effect on a lot of things, but as an actual character we never got to see much of her personality outside of one standalone chapter: To the Top which only served to give us a shallow and basic understanding of her character.  But even then, as far as actual personality, writing, hobbies, and chemistry we really didn’t get much at all as far as understanding who she is. The only things we knew for certain was that she’s in a long-term long-distance relationship with Mike. She’s a model.  She goes to school.  And she’s beautiful.  That’s it. But that in and of itself doesn’t make Sandy a bad character.  I mean for cryin’ out loud, two my favorite characters that I shoe-horn into all my projects are McCain and Carter.  And they’re the most one-note characters in this comic! No, the problem with Sandy isn’t that we don’t know anything about her.  It’s that despite us knowing nothing about her, Sandy has her fingerprints on almost every fucking conflict in Bittersweet Candy Bowl.  And worse, the only purpose she seems to have on the comic is INFLUENCING MIKE! Let me pull some examples…
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Mike and Lucy go on an adventure into the city which fleshes out the inner problems in their relationship.
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Because Sandy might be there.
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Mike and Lucy are starting to act awkward with each other, and it’s making everyone take notice. Why?
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Because Mike is delusional about Sandy.
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In the chapter directly after that, Mike is now suddenly obnoxiously happy and giddy, why?
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Because he finally got to talk with Sandy!
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It’s Christmas time, and Tess is having a party and Mike’s coming, why?
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BECAUSE OF FUCKING SANDY!
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Mike rebuffs Daisy’s advances during the carnival date…why?
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Because of Sandy!
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Although, to be fair of course there WAS a lot of other things going on in that scene, primarily Daisy being REALLY pushy, and needy.  So it’s not JUST because of Sandy.  It was because we just weren’t ready for Slut Daisy. The Free Daisy.
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Tess is organizing a group vacation trip to Acapulco!
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And what’s this? Mike doesn’t want to go? Is it because he thinks Lucy is gonna go and he wants to separate himself from her? Is it because he’s finally woken up and decided to stand up for himself?!
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NO YOU FUCKING IDIOT! IT’S BECAUSE OF MOTHER FUCKING SANDY! AND THE WORST PART OF IT ALL, IS THAT NONE OF THESE SCENES ARE EVER DIRECTLY BECAUSE OF SANDY’S ACTIONS AS A PERSON! IT’S LITERALLY JUST BECAUSE SHE EXISTS! YOU COULD MAKE UP ANYTHING ABOUT SANDY, AND SHE WOULD STILL HAVE THE SAME FUCKING IMPACT ON THE STORY THAT SHE HAS HAD UP TO THIS POINT! All that Sandy’s character has been used for is just a means of influencing Mike!
And that’s not a character…that’s a plot device.  
And nothing makes that point more clear…than this scene.
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We get a scene where Mike is talking with Sandy, and he shows how over and over, Lucy’s jabs and abuses which were played for laughs in Volume 1 apparently were a super serious problem and we should’ve seen them as such.  Now as a reader, I didn’t buy that for a fucking second, for reasons I’ve already explained.  However, Sandy being on the other side of that long-distance relationship doesn’t fully understand the situation.  But still she’s very worried and concerned for Mike, which leads to this.
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Sandy making Mike hate Lucy. Some have pointed out that this is actually a good scene.  Because here we get to see that Sandy at least cares about Mike.  Except that, if you strip away those tears, and all the bullshit.  What little characterization we get here, which is shit we already know in Sandy caring about Mike and Lucy’s relationship.  Is something we should already know.  She’s in a long-term long-distance relationship with Mike SHE FUCKING BETTER CARE ABOUT LUCY! The problem though, is like I said… Sandy isn’t treated like a fucking character.  She’s treated like a fucking plot device! If she were an actual character, we should’ve seen her actually have a back and forth with Mike.  The whole conversation about Lucy should’ve come up a LONG time ago.  Because if she were treated like an actual character with agency…
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She would’ve already known this.  
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You telling me that after how many phone calls, in the time that elapsed between these phone scenes Mike never actually told her about Lucy; the other biggest part of his life?!  Did Mike never tell her about the amount of times that Lucy almost died to save his life?  Or the amount of times he did the same for her?  No! Because that would bring character growth.  And we don’t want character growth.
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We want to push this narrative! We want to implant these thoughts into Mike.  We want him to have  a victim complex so that he can do shit like THIS!
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We want to push this plot point.  And Sandy is the vessel to drive it off the cliff. This is why I fucking hate December. Because worst of all THIS…
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Is no longer Mike speaking. This is Sandy’s influence speaking. Now LITERALLY ALL THE FUCKING SHIT THAT MIKE PEDALLED ABOUT NOT WANTING TO BE LUCY’S BABY SITTER AND BULLSHIT, CAN NOW BE ATTRIBUTED TO SANDY INFLUENCING HOW MIKE SEES HIS OWN FRIENDSHIP! And since we don’t have a clear timeframe of where these calls were made, and when exactly Sandy got through to Mike, that means you could pick any time where Mike was being cold or distancing from Lucy and blame it on Sandy! Including…
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This scene…
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Lest you think characters were the only casualty of December’s nuclear blast, it took with it one of the most emotionally tense and moving chapters of Bittersweet Candy Bowl: A Distance Apart.  
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I’ve already talked about this chapter in my rant on Golden Hour (aka December 2: homosexual boogaloo) so I’m not gonna get too into how the perspective of this chapter was changed because of December, but I will say that lines like the above now are specifically what’s tainted because of December.  No longer is this Mike realizing that Lucy isn’t who he thinks she is, or him realizing that their relationship is not a healthy one on his own. It’s because as he said himself!
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It’s Sandy’s fault.  Because all she heard about Lucy was the negative, and now all Mike can see is the negative.  And this chapter is saying it’s all Sandy’s fault that Mike now has a victim complex and it’s totally fair for him to say what he’s about to say.  
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WAIT! DID YOU JUST SAY…
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JANUARY?!
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Hah, nah I’m just fuckin’ with ya.  We’re trying to stay focused here, so I’m holding off on the January references. Don’t worry kids, you’re safe for now.
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For now…
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Let’s unpack this first, because believe it or not we still have a LOT of ground to cover. Specifically, let’s talk about Mike’s glorious plan to leave the table!
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God it is taking a lot to not just paste panels from Daisy’s rant in January.  You people have no idea… But to summarize, this is fucking stupid at best and manipulative at worst.  What Mike is talking about, is selfishly pide-pipering their whole friend group (minus Tess because Tess doesn’t exist anymore) away from Lucy, and he’s betting all of that on the fact that he knows Daisy is still head over heels for him.  And what’s absolutely stupid about this fucking idea (which by the way seems to be premeditated so this can’t even be blamed on Sandy) is that if this was Mike’s plan all along.  And December didn’t happen, and he did this table move guess what? Sure.  Daisy follows Mike, Abbey and Paulo follow Daisy, and David follows Paulo…and then they invite Lucy, because in case you forgot SHE’S THEIR FRIEND TOO! (also I just noticed Mike completely forgot about Susan.  That’s kinda fucked up, dude.)
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But not as fucked up as this!  Seriously, that’s a fucking low blow.  And so fucking judgy.  I guess we now know where Abbey learned to stoop so low while grand standing on his high horse! And yes I have heard the “muh hormones” and “they’re just KiDs!” excuses.  But none of that really explains…
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WHY THE FUCK DOES MIKE CARE?!  DO YOU SERIOUSLY CARE IF LUCY (as you would put it) LEACHES OFF OF PAULO?  HE’S LIKE ONE OF THE TOP OFFENDERS FOR PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY ABUSED YOU! THE MOTHERFUCKER SICCED A GAGGLE OF GIRLS TO BEAT UP ON YOU FOR BEING A “CHEATER”! Or are you worried because if Lucy clings to Paulo, then it ruins your fool-proof plan of going to another table since she’ll follow Paulo?  OH NO, WE’VE FOUND A HOLE IN YOUR INGENIOUS PLAN!  But speaking of worst offenders…
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THIS. LINE.  THIS FUCKING LINE!  I don’t care who you are, I don’t care what the fuck you think.  YOU DO NOT COME BACK FROM SAYING THIS.  YOU CAN NOT FUCKING SAY THIS SHIT, AND THEN BE THE GOOD GUY! This is the point where I and many others realized Mike, was too far gone.  And yet SOME PEOPLE WILL STILL ARGUE ABOUT THIS SHIT!
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Oh you don’t understand, Amazil! He is just a stupid 16 year old ball of emotions and hormones!  This has been building up THIS ENTIRE TIME! You even pointed out how Mike’s frustrations have been hinted at since the Vacation Arc! Obviously this has been hinted at for years! You’re just too ignorant to understand what Mike’s doing here! Of course he’s being overly cruel here, he feels backed into a corner, and is facing off against his abuser!
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Now listen here, you may be right.  I can’t, I hope, and I am grateful that; I don’t fully understand how it feels to be abused for all my life.    But what I do know, is that NO ONE. Child, Teenager, or adult.  Would fucking stoop that fucking low, and think they have any business.  Any chance. Of coming back from that terribly burnt bridge. No one is that fucking ignorant!  WHEN YOU BURN A BRIDGE LIKE THAT, WHEN YOU GO THAT FAR, YOU BETTER FUCKING BE READY TO LIVE WITH THE CONSEQUENCES!  AND MIKE AT THIS POINT, SHOULD KNOW VERY WELL WHAT THE CONSEQUENCES MAY INCLUDE!  AS THE PERSON WHO KNOWS LUCY MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE ABOUT LUCY, HE SHOULD BE FULLY FUCKING AWARE WHAT SHE IS GOING TO FUCKING DO WHEN TOLD THAT SHE IS A PARASITE AND THAT NO ONE FUCKING LOVES HER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU EXPECT SHE WAS GOING TO FUCKING DO, MIKE?!
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JESUS CHRIST, HE’S LITERALLY USING HER DEEPEST SECRETS AND HIDDEN INSECURITIES THAT ONLY HE KNOWS ABOUT AGAINST HER! HOW THE FUCK DO YOU SUPPORT THIS SHIT?  AND FURTHERMORE, “Like I’m the only one who cares about you.” TO QUOTE YOU LITERALLY A PAGE AGO!
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YOU FUCKING TOLD HER THAT NOBODY LOVES HER.  AND THAT SHE’S A FUCKING PARASITE!  HOW ARE YOU THIS FUCKING STUPID!  HOW CAN YOU STILL THINK THAT YOU’RE IN THE RIGHT?  HOW DO OTHER PEOPLE THINK YOU’RE IN THE RIGHT?  HOW CAN YOU STOOP SO FUCKING LOW, WHILE GRAND STANDING ON YOUR HIGH HORSE?!
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Now, imagine if you will, after 2 whole months of reading December.  You sit there and you wonder what is going to happen now.  What is left to say?  What more is Mike going to do? I mean there’s no way this chapter can get any worse!  There’s NO WAY that Mike can be any more of an asshole.  It’s not possible!  And as if to get one last knife twist out of you.  To kill the last shred of hope you had, that maybe.  Just maybe this could be salvaged, and Mike can’t be worse… Taeshi does this.
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….
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Y’know, I once heard a story that someone actually killed themselves over BCB.
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And I completely believe that.  Two whole months we spent, having to watch week after week as this character we cared about.  Rips apart the other character we’ve spent so much time learning about, growing with, understanding, and learning to love.  And how do you end this chapter?
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Grindingly slow.   With Lucy throwing up, then eyeing Mike’s phone.
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Followed by a nothing page where Mike’s happy.
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Another nothing page where Mike goes to his room.
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Dialogue that means nothing.
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A whole fucking page of Lucy leaving.
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MORE FUCKING SNOW
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And one last lie.
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And that, kids.  Is the chapter of December.  The most infamous chapter in all of Bittersweet Candy Bowl.  And I hope you’re starting to understand why that is the case.  Although, I’m sure a lot of you may have some contentions especially given the newer chapters that have come out.  I mean, I often compare bad or infuriating scenes to December. And many may wonder or feel like those chapters are worse than December.  I mean sure Mike ripping into Lucy is bad…
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But what about the one-sided and almost carbon copy of December in Golden Hour?
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Or what about Guest of Honor with it’s Abbey Smash?
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And what about the second coming of the Carnival Chapter, with its DISGUSTING implications?
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Or lest we all forget the wonderous return of Lucy herself, in Love Again!  All of these chapters are fucking terrible in their own right.  And it’s debatable how they ruin some characters worse than December.  But there’s one very important factor that is lost to us now, that makes December in my eyes worse than any other chapter that Taeshi has put out.  One singular thing makes December worse than anything Taeshi has come out with so far…  And what is that factor?
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Why, it’s TIME my dear reader.  Time is what sets December apart from every other chapter.  Readers at the time had to spend three whole months waiting for this chapter to end.  We stared at each singular page for days, waiting hours on end, hoping that the next page would somehow be better, or give us an out.  Instead it got worse and worse and worse.  But what also sets it apart from all those other chapters I’ve mentioned is that, unlike Guest of Honor, Golden Hour, or Return to Carnival chapter; December was a very important moment in Bittersweet Candy Bowl. Not only because of how it changed the character, but because it is one of the only times in this fucking comic where the plot actually starts to develop.  And we finally get a clear conflict to grasp onto and focus on.  
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In the chapters that came before December, the conflict of Mike and Lucy was just slowly getting worse and worse.  And for the most part it just seemed to stagnate, with Lucy trying to keep her distance from Mike, and Mike constantly giving Lucy the cold shoulder.  And everyone else having to deal with that.  December was meant to be (and it did succeed in becoming) a bombshell chapter.  A big revelation moment where things finally kick into high gear.  Like, “Oh man that was brutal!” “What’s gonna happen now? Sandy is coming!”  “Lucy just got fucking REKT!” “What is she gonna do?”  “Taeshi just dropped the biggest bomb on top of us, where is she gonna take us?  How are we going to follow up this momentum?!”
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BY RELEASING ONE OF THE LONGEST.  MOST NEEDLESS CHAPTERS EVER!
FOURTY EIGHT FUCKING PAGES. ALMOST FOUR MONTHS DEDICATED TO A PLOT POINT THAT HAS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH THE GIANT NUCLEAR BOMBSHELL THAT WAS JUST DROPPED ON US!  And it’s especially needless because the entire point of this chapter is to tell us that Abbey’s mom died.  Except that WE ALREADY THOUGHT SHE WAS DEAD! Oh you mean this character who all we know about was that she in a terribly abusive marriage, who we have not heard from since Abbey was introduced into the comic, who was in such a terrible state that she left her son and daughter orphaned. You mean the person so fucked up, that the last time we saw them was on a fucking stretcher is…DEAD?!  SAY IT AIN’T SO! Y’know, it would’ve actually been more of a twist, and a lot more interesting if we found out ABBEY’S MOM WAS ACTUALLY ALIVE!  
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INSTEAD OF BUILDING OFF THE FUCKING MOMENTUM THAT YOU JUST SET UP, WE GET STRUNG ALONG FOR FOURTY EIGHT FUCKING PAGES!  INSTEAD OF FOCUSING ON LUCY, AND USING DECEMBER AS A LAUNCHING POINT TO DRIVE THE FUCKING PLOT, ALL OF THE MOMENTUM IS GROUND TO A FUCKING HALT IN SERVICE OF A PLOT POINT THAT ULTIMATELY DOESN’T FUCKING MATTER! And if you made it through that and was hoping, “okay NOW we can start to get into the actual plot! NOW we can focus on Lucy, and what the aftermath of December is!  Well…
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Paulo tries to give a cake to Lucy, and he mostly fails, giving us
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NOTHING!
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Just beautiful! The one chapter where it would be okay to not give all the attention to Mike and Lucy’s relationship.  The one chapter where we could maybe get to see Sandy be a character!  Mike X Lucy is fucked, but maybe we can find comfort in Mike X Sandy!  Maybe we can have some sweet moments, and strengthen this central love triangle that we’ve been dancing around for all these years!  Maybe, just maybe, Sandy can be more than just a fucking plot device!
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BUT NOPE! SHE’S JUST THERE TO BE USED SO THAT MIKE CAN REALIZE THAT HE WAS WRONG AND FEEL BAD, SO HE CAN TRY TO MAKE IT UP TO LUCY!  TOO BAD IT’S TOO LATE, SO IF YOU WERE LOOKING TO HAVE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT EITHER FROM LUCY OR SANDY, I’M SORRY BUT YOU GET
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TWO BIG HEAPING SERVINGS OF NOTHING!
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AND IF YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE STARVING FOR CONTENT BEFORE,  BRACE YOURSELF FOR A ONE-PAGE CHAPTER THAT GIVES YOU
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NOTHING!
AND I HOPE YOU FUCKING LIKE THAT ONE-PAGE BECAUSE YOU’RE GONNA HAVE TO LOOK AT IT FOR
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FOUR
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WHOLE
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MONTHS!
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Although… to be fair, I think during that hiatus period Taeshi had guest comics and exclusive content to keep us occupied, but you get the point. As for the rest of the chapters…
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Paulo breaks up with Jasmine in the most hackneyed fucking way possible, and we get a fake-out of Lucy’s suicide attempt.
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We finally get the play chapter, and it teases us with the idea that Lucy and Mike are getting better except that no one falls for it because IT’S IN THE PLAY.  AND WE ALL KNOW THAT IT’S JUST AN ACT AND IT’S FUCKING…
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And then Lucy finally attempts suicide and it’s all OFF-SCREEN! THEY KILLED OFF THE MAIN CHARACTER! THE ONE FUCKING BIT THAT WE WERE ALL LOOKING FORWARD TO, AND IT’S OFF-SCREEN!
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Do you see what I mean now? December isn’t just a fucking chapter. It’s an arc.  The most teeth grindingly slow, and agonizing arc Taeshi ever made!  This is why December is and always will be the absolute fucking worst!  It’s like Taeshi knew what we wanted and refused to deliver! Instead being content with teasing the readers over and over for almost two years, with the prospect of seeing Lucy go through a depression arc. Instead, we’re focused on literally everyone else and all of Lucy’s inner turmoil, heartbreak, thoughts, and progressions are just hinted at and we’re just left in the dark.  We never got to see Lucy in her final moments.  What was she doing? What was she thinking?  Where was she?  How is she doing?  We wouldn’t get that information for
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Nearly four years! And even then, IT WAS ALSO BULLSHIT!  December is like a nuclear warhead of a bombshell that was dropped on us, except instead of going off and blowing us away, sending us to the greater plains. It just leaked radiation everywhere and killed us from the inside slowly.   Its carbon footprint can be felt to this very day, we can’t get over December.  Because THE COMIC ITSELF CAN NOT GET OVER DECEMBER! People who wanted to see Lucy become a better person, to see her try to get better, get help, or do SOMETHING! Would never get that relief.  When I thought about December and how it treated its characters.  I felt sorry for all the people who had to read this, who felt for Lucy.  Who wanted to see her get better… I felt bad because I knew deep down that we were never going to get that story…
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So I did it myself…
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Don’t act surprised. You knew I was gonna go there.  I literally warned you!  There is no way in hell I’m gonna talk about December without bringing up the comic I literally made BECAUSE of December in: January.  And this time we’re looking at January as a whole.  Because now that you know WHY and WHAT I hate about December, you can start to see why January was made the way it was.  I feel the need to explain this, because January still gets a bad rap by people saying that it’s “hate-filled” which it’s not.  January is not a death threat  , nor is it meant to say “I’m better than you”, it’s not a love note to BCB, it’s a Get Well Soon card.  Not necessarily saying that I can do it better, but rather this is what you could’ve done.  Whether or not it’s better is up to you to decide.  And with that context, you can see why January was written the way it was. And it all starts with one simple change.
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Instead of just outright removing December, the only thing I changed was that Mike didn’t get paired with Lucy and throw a fit.  It doesn’t spitefully act like December never happened, in fact…
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December plays out the exact same way as it did in the canon, just with Susan supplementing for Lucy. So Sandy’s still coming home, Mike’s still pissed at Lucy, and he’s planning on moving to a new table to get away from her. But because Lucy’s not there…
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She’s able to fucking do something.
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We get to see her try.
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We get to see her fail.
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We see how Mike’s plan comes to fruition.
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We see how things fall apart, even with Lucy’s best efforts.
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We see how December still takes its toll.
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We get to see her snap out of it, briefly.
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We see her at her lowest point.
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We see what she’s thinking and why she’s doing what she’s doing.
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We see her try to figure out what to do.
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We see her picking up the pieces.
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We see her take action to improve herself.
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We see her getting help.
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We see her taking action.
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We see her getting better.
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We see everyone come together to support her.
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We see her at the end of her journey, come to terms with what she’s done.  And wanting to improve not only herself, but her friendship with Mike. She shows maturity, empathy, and most importantly GROWTH as a character.
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And in the end, the reader never gets to see how Mike and Lucy end up talking things out, but they can rest easy knowing that everything is going to be okay.  And if THAT’S hate-filled, I don’t know what the fuck you’d call the canon’s handling of Lucy in the December arc.    
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The fact that we never got to see Lucy try.
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The fact that the comic kept dicking us around, and baiting us with the inevitable.
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The fact it KEPT FUCKING BAITING US WITH FALSE HOPE.
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The fact we don’t get to even see her at the end of the line. The fact we had to wait three years for her to come back and let us know that she’s even ALIVE!
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The fact that when she does comes back, SHE’S A HORRIBLE CUNTY SHELL OF THE PERSON SHE ONCE WAS…
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That… is why December is the most infamous chapter in all of Bittersweet Candy Bowl.  Not just because of what it did.  But because of what it didn’t do.  Because it promised the end to Mike and Lucy’s drama one way or another. It promised us that we were going to tackle these issues that Mike brought up in Lucy, but yet… Here we are.
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Back to square fucking one. You know what they say…Those who don’t know their history are doomed to repeat it. So you better brush up on your December knowledge, or at least I hope this rant serves as a good refresher. Cause from the looks of it, we’ve been repeating these plot points for almost 10 years…
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Y’know I thought I was actually going crazy there for a second.  Obsessing and never getting over December for all these years. But now I see. This comic…never moved on from it. We’ve never recovered.  We’ve been stuck in December for almost 10 years…
0/10 never forget…
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awesomefairytailfan · 3 years
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Fanfiction
So I Going to be starting a Dynasty Warriors fan fiction series here and on fanfiction.net that does not mean I'm going to stop uploading funny picture text images and this is the first chapter no real conversation hasn't even been proof weed by who's going to start it just me talking to my tablet with my speech to text thingy and the protagonist who I haven't made a name for it yet from Canada before the pandemic contemplating on his situation in ancient China.
In less then a week I should be able to have someone check over this and we're going to go through the first chapter. Maybe I should call this first chapter an opening.
Chapter one am I just in a dream?
The last few weeks I just keep asking myself the same question over and over is this all a dream is this just one big dream now? Being in ancient China don't let me know when on the calendar I supposed to use don't even know if this world has an equivalent of it no it's not my world I'm not some sort of super badass in my own world but in this world I am strong I take damaged easily when I woke up in this world or made me fell asleep in my own I found myself walking for I don't know I have no watch on me but I found a number of people being attacked by wolves was completely convinced at that point I was in a dream so I figured let's go wake myself up by grabbing a big stick in it packing them but then something funny happened I found myself running faster than I ever had outside of video games I attacked the walls and I actually sent them major damage one of them jumped me from behind I barely even noticed it then I'm headed to the ground and killed it the people said to me you must be a music Warrior what what Lord do you serve have you gone to fight someone named on Don Zillow do you know who that was I'll talk about what I know about him in a bit I noticed a a small irritation in my back I asked them to look at it and they said I got a small Scar from where the wolf attempted to bite me to death I said Tiny bite me to death I need a doctor my day say no it's only a minor scrape especially to a Musa Warrior I asked him to speak English but they responded what's English? I said it was the language we was speak they said no we speak Mandarin I decided yep I'm definitely in the dream at that point sorry running myself into a tree it hurt a bit but I actually broke the tree in half some people showed up who I did not say from the walls and they'll ask me what was going on and they was saying the Musa Warrior saved us stick just flying off the ground and then done to me I have noticed a big annoyance I was hungry luckily they wanted to have a feast for me shall we walk back to the village and order for us to get some food and number of them dead some things I'd rather not talk about with the Wolves sad don't let stuff like this go to waste I asked him where we are I think they were pretty Pacific and I'm like okay no idea what that means I asked them what country we are in they said China I started finger to myself find it this really wasn't the dream if I'm somehow stuck in China and I don't know what time they asked me a bunch of questions where I'm from Canada over a great ocean and I also said my ancestors are technically from the same land mass as here but I think that continent is actually farther than where my home line is from China don't let me know for sure I'm not an expert in distance of countries and all that have I got that today prepared a small feast they did tell me it was a small village and I had to agree smaller than my hometown and no technology anywhere I was thinking if this is my life now I am going to be I'm going to be so bored but I got offered a lot of free food took some adjustment for me to actually eat things was never no I'm already ten but never was normal to begin with I've always had Asperger's I'm supposed to take medication not going to be able to in ancient China I guess nobody knew about the calendar I kept calling the Christian calendar I think that's what they mean by the years we use never did find out if it was after or before Jesus Christ and then I found the weirdest ability of all I'm super strong now a bunch of heavy wooden blocks was about to smash a kid I pushed the young child out the way thinking suicide maybe I'll wake up but those heavy things did not even hurt me they say see you must be a Musa Warrior can you protect our small village from the evil Don Zillow I told them it's probably the best kind of job I can do for now I'm and told them I never really add something you could call an actual job told them I was on disability a lot of what I say they constantly laughing did not believe they saw me at 2 Mighty and magnificent to be considered disabled in my own world
and they did not believe that I wasn't actually Chinese I was clearly not from this world but I'm constantly moved on I managed to do a number of odd jobs around the town with superhuman strength and with all my time watch and consuming recreational entertainment I managed to entertain them when they had down time which allowed them had more because I could make jobs a lot quicker and easier the kids found me hilarious adult sometime Tom me not to talk about certain things on topics the way I did say good yeah don't want to upset them too much this lasted for about a month I think and tell the town faced its biggest danger of all I was actually the first one to notice that because I had to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night I noticed the fire off in the distance and decided to wake the town mayor of not knowing how dangerous it was noticeably closer the mayor said evacuate everyone we can he started shouting knowing immediately Dan got it was super dangerous I'm like danger fire luckily with my always completely loud voice and my ability to one very fast it was less than like 4 minutes before everyone what's going out of bed quickly the mayor told me top send some trees flying out an amount I think I managed to save the town Catching Fire for like 15 minutes then luckily. Got every one to evacuate and get them money and thinks it could carry but eventually the whole town went up in Flames nobody died everyone had close to travel in but the town was found dead I might have just went into fire except at this point there was so much time passing I believe mostly I wasn't dreaming anymore and that just would have killed me mosa Dean man in the village was talking with the mayor of the town a bunch of the kids were asking can't you make everything better can't you make all the fire damage go away I had to say I don't I can't do anything like that and I don't even know what we were going to do next his not my decision I don't know the knowledge to make that decision and the News came from the mare he decided we're going to one of the Cities some of the people protested we were just beep on ourselves in the danger of the Warlords and on Zillow fighting but the mayor said only a city trying to accommodate so many people at once our hometown is destroyed we do not have the resources to build another before the winter and then we started going towards the city I figured if I can get everybody to the city NeNe I could earn some extra money and you some future knowledge to benefit Chinese Society in general not like I can make them ocracy happen but maybe I couldn't please how much stuff they're about to plant or how quickly they can do harvesting I know a bit about that stuff we travelled as fast as we can and I often had to find myself killing animals with whatever I could it wasn't really that dangerous I beat the crap out of them they could barely do anything to me we had to sweep in pants and a like but I usually got a good night sleep despite being on main source of Defense because while they decided the high people on Sentry Duty and to have somebody wife buy me to wake me up they had to wake me up a few times like that but no one got killed and one day I bet after we started going for that day we were on a big we went up a big hill and then we saw the city I was thinking nice city maybe get to look around but Polly should spend at least a few days after we get there with the townspeople who take good care of me some of them said I'm might be needed to get a job or Join one of the military armies when I asked about it I wasn't thinking I'd probably do that I like saving people but never really been much for military outside of playing video games it was going to be a few hours on our way down that's when the biggest action happened that I wanted to wake up phlegm when I kill somebody.
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purplesurveys · 3 years
Text
1279
Are you and the last person you kissed in a relationship or just friends?  I don’t keep contact.
Has anyone ever pointed out that your laugh was unusual?  Hmmmm, I don’t think so. I feel like that would be the type of comment that would get to me so I definitely would’ve remembered it.
Would you get a lip piercing?  I don’t plan on getting any piercings.
Nose piercing?  Nopes.
What are you currently waiting for?  For this fucking day to end so I can be closer to Thursday and to the weekend.
Do you have feelings for anyone?  Nah.
Have you ever run over an animal?  Nope. I’ve had extremely close calls with animals who suddenly dart into the road, but fortunately these have all been situations wherein I got to hit the brakes with nobody behind me.
Have you chewed gum after someone else already has?  That’s disgusting, no.
When people sneeze do you say ‘bless you’?  Sure, out of habit and just to be polite.
When was the last time you were on a bouncy castle?  I don’t think I’ve ever been on a bouncy castle, but I’ve been on a lot of bouncy other things haha, like inflatable slides, soccer balls, Anpanmans, etc. The last time would probably be a nearly a decade ago; I definitely haven’t been near one in a while.
Have you ever went on a bouncy castle whilst drunk?  Well no, because the ones I’ve been on were situated in school fairs, which is the last place I would want to be drunk in.
Have you ever entered an art competition?  No, I have no justification to join one haha.
What is one thing you will never do? Try hardcore drugs. < Same. 
What is one food that you detest?  Pineapples.
Did you have a rebellious phase growing up?  Yeah I was a bit of a handful to raise, but I’m in firm in my stance that it had a lot to do with the way I was raised. I grew up mostly without a father figure because my dad worked abroad and I felt neglected by my mom who had her own shit to deal with. There was no stable support system to lean on, so I ended up lashing out a lot in my puberty years. Unfortunately everyone else just saw a rebellious child and not a plea for help.
These days when I show off my achievements on social media, I’ll see congratulatory comments from my mom’s friends and she’ll usually go on about some “late bloomers grow with time” narrative and it pisses me off because nobody knows how much I’ve had to grow and mature and learn how to be happier all by myself, all from scratch. If I had just received the proper care and attention early on, I wouldn’t have had to do any catching up to begin with.
What religion were you brought up with? Roman Catholic.
Are you still that religion?  Jesus no. I darted out of there as soon as I gained the consciousness to think about these sorts of things.
Do you often find yourself questioning your future?  Sometimes, but I do my best to not let it get to me.
How many friends do you have on Facebook?  Over 670.
What sort of music did you listen to when you were in high school?  I started with punk rock in the first half of high school, so I had my Rancids, H2Os, Against Me!s, Cro-Mags, etc on my iPod. It evolved a little bit towards more indie, folksy sounds towards the latter half - Banks, alt-J, Hozier, Twenty One Pilots - which I largely attribute to the crowd I was part of at the time.
What pet names do you use with your significant other?  I’m pretty straightforward so baby works out for me. Other, more specific pet names just grow naturally with the relationship, I think.
What’s the name of the store you usually get your groceries?  S&R.
Have you ever seen a theatre show?  Yeah. Most of them have been required.
What’s your favourite vegetable?  Broccoli or bell peppers.
Have you ever missed a flight?  Never. I’ve experienced several delayed flights, though, which is always such a hassle especially if the delays happen in provincial airports since they never have any recreational offers to keep passengers from getting bored other than TVs that run the same damn five ads.
Do your neighbours have any pets? Have you ever met them?  Yeah, a lot of have dogs. I’ve met some.
What color is your bedroom door?  Brown.
If you were ever to become famous, would you grow annoyed at fans?  Only towards obsessive ones who wouldn’t give me time to breathe or would go so far so as to stalk me or my loved ones. But I am a fan too, so I imagine I would actually be understanding of those who would ask for pictures or whatever as long as they were polite and not at all intrusive.
Have you ever met your favourite band/singer?  Nah. I am terrified of meeting celebrities HAHA so I’ve always shut down the chance. I’m pretty sure I would actually turn down the chance to meet BTS if I hypothetically suddenly got the magic keys to that door.
Are you embarrassed by any of the songs/singers/bands you like?  No. I feel like that sort of thing just happens in like high school, when your friends are still a bit judgmental. Nowadays I don’t see why I should be embarrassed of anything I like, especially if it’s not hurting anyone.
Have you ever written a story?  I’ve made attempts but was always terrible.
Think of the last poem you wrote: What inspired you to write it?  My homework that required me to write said poem hahaha.
Do you have a chance with the person you like right now? 
What’s the weirdest thing you were scared of as a child?  Watching commercials at night. It’s still a slight fear of mine but it’s mostly dissipated now.
Are there any embarrassing stories your family tells about you?  About me? No. I don’t have a lot of those since I was a really shy kid who barely moved a finger anyway.
In your opinion, what is the funniest TV show?  I have a *really* soft spot for Perfect Strangers, which I actually revisited yesterday :) The show was never super popular so it’s near impossible to find clips online, but when I checked YouTube I did see a slight increase in short snippets from the show so I had a really fun time binge-watching yesterday.
What is the maximum number of children you’d ever have?  Three, but that’s pushing it. Ideally, I’d have two so my first would have company.
Have you ever been concerned you had a serious illness?  Mental ones, yes.
Are you comfortable with who you are?  For the most part, yes.
Would you date someone even if you knew you’d get made fun of for it?  No. Why would it be any of their business?
Does popularity matter to you at all?  I mean, yeah in the sense that I honestly aspire to be well-liked by as many people as possible. But I don’t necessarily want to rub shoulders with popular kids.
Would you ever consider homeschooling your children?  Continued from sometime this week ider. No. I don’t think I’m capable of teaching, and generally I’d want them to be able to learn in a more open environment where they can have regular contact with different kinds of people.
Who told you about the band/singer you are currently listening to?  Well Angela got into them first and since we’re best friends, there was a certain point where she just decided to loop me into conversations that involved them. I was impossible to sway for a long time, but then one day a video compilation of them showed up on my feed, and for some reason I actually watched it, and I watched all the way through, and I was immediately intrigued – particularly by J-Hope haha. I then asked Angela to tell me more about them and the rest was...financially irresponsible history HAHAHAHA
Do you ever read fanfiction?  OMG yes. Funny you should mention that because my favorite author uploaded a brand new fic this morning, which I obviously couldn’t get to all day because I had to go to work. I’ll be reading it in all its 44,000-word glory tonight :D
Would you rather die in a plane crash, ship wreck or fire?  Plane crash. Instant and mostly painless.
What are your top five favourite TV shows?  Breaking Bad, BoJack Horseman, Friends, The Crown even though I was never able to continue it since...andddd that’s all I got.
What is your favorite superhero movie?  Not a fan of superhero movies.
If you died next week, what would be the cause of death?  Stress from overworking. I’ve FINALLY started to consider taking a leave for the first time this year because I’ve just realized just how fucking exhausted, burned out, and overwhelmed I actually already am from having no rest at all in the last 13 months.
Have you ever taken a break from Facebook or other social media? Why?  Yes, I do mass deactivations when I’m severely depressed. These days I can’t really afford to that anymore, though, since my work is closely tied to social media.
Who is the most talented person you know?  Probably Andi.
Are you currently platonic friends with anyone you’ve had sex with?  No.
Where did you and your current interest go on your first date? 
Have you ever experienced two people fighting over you (physically or mentally)? What happened?  Nah. I’ve had two people like me at the same time, but there was never any tension to watch out for since they mostly didn’t know each other.
Have your parents ever thought you were gay? What happened?  I think they know I dated Gabie and that we broke up because they’ve stopped asking about her. Everyone knew we were best friends, so the fact that they’ve avoided her as a topic for a whole year is able to tell me something.
Are your parents more liberal or conservative?  Dad’s on the liberal side, mom dances around on the spectrum a little bit. I know she’s fine with things like tattoos and having LGBTQ+ co-workers, but she’s also conservative especially towards matters like religion.
What year are you going into at the beginning of the next academic year?  No longer in school.
How far away does your closest family member live?  A few footsteps away.
If you’ve seen both, did you prefer the Disney version or the Tim Burton version of Alice in Wonderland?  It’s not my type of movie/genre to begin with.
Would you have sex before marriage? Why or why not?  Yes. I don’t see the big deal; I’ve already done it anyway.
Are you more liberal or conservative?  Liberal.
Who is your favorite Harry Potter character?  Ooh not sure. I haven’t gone back to the books in a while, so I don’t remember if there was anyone I had an attachment to.
What’s the worst that could come out of letting gays marry?  Nothing.
What’s the most sexual thing you’ve done?  Had sex...I guess? And a bunch of stuff that comes with it.
Name something that you are against.  Racial discrimination.
Why are you against it?  Because it is infuriating to see, and it shows me the very same treatment can happen to me or my family as well and that scares me, especially since some people turn particularly violent towards people of color.
Have you ever played the Tomb Raider games?  No.
Do you like it or hate it when your partner is clingy?  I imagine I wouldn’t enjoy it if I’m not as into whoever my next partner would be.
Beatles or Rolling Stones?  I don’t listen to either.
When was the last time you changed your opinion on somebody?  Not so sure about a whole change in opinion because that hasn’t happened in a while, but I grew more grateful for my manager today because I finally mustered the strength to tell her that I’m begin to struggle mentally with work and she not only encouraged (read: begged) me to file a damn leave for once, but she also got sushi delivered to my place.
What was the last thing that made you feel proud and why?  Andi was telling me about their day today and how they handled being misgendered by a prof, who then proceeded to throw a fit when he got corrected, and how they, again, maturely handled said fit. I was proud of them because there are a million ways that incident could’ve turned out, but they dealt with it in an extremely mature and calm manner considering they were the one who was wronged.
Do you feel uncomfortable when people you hardly know confide in you?  If it was about an extremely personal problem I would probably be taken aback at first, but I still would definitely make some time for them and help in however way I can, since they apparently trust me enough to confide.
What was the last thing to fascinate you?  The music video for My Universe! Super cool to watch and I love that they made a short film out of it too.
Is there a certain noise/sound which scares you?  Doors being slammed shut, because that’s what my mom does when she’s furious. She did that when I was a kid and she does it to this day, so I get extremely nervous when I hear the sound, even if it happens by accident.
Do you have a favourite microorganism? Nope.
Out of the people you know, whose birthday is next?  My cousin Bree.
If you have pet fish do you bother to name them?  I did when I had them as a kid.
Do you keep your eggs in the fridge?  Yes?
Have you ever owned chickens?  Nope.
When did you last listen to music?  Like five minutes ago. I tried to have a jazz playlist on but I realized I wasn’t in the mood for music so I changed my background noise to have a random VLive on instead. 
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