#which is a weird thing to complain about if i wasn't even that interested in the games to begin with

[maaruin]

I wonder: Do I just not like combat heavy games at all, or do I just not like a lot of combat in games with a beautiful world?

Just today I saw a video about Assassin's Creed: Mirage's world and I thought: If this game played more like Hitman I would absolutely buy it, but it looks like so much of the game will be about killing hundreds of guards.

Actually, there is another possible option: If the games story isn't about combat (and assassination isn't combat, if an assassin needs to fight, that means they have failed), I want there to be a minimum of combat in the game.

[hughiecampbelle]

The Boys Preference: Having The Same Abilities As Wolverine

Requested: Heyy! Can I request a the boys preference where reader is a supe who pretty much has wolverine's powers? Ty!! - @ghostlyaccurate

Requested: Hii can I request the boys pref x female wolverine? <33 - anon

A/N: Reminder my loves! Everything is written as gender neutral, I don't write specifically freader or mreader. I hope you like it! I am working 100% from Wolverines Wikipedia page lol since I forget most of his powers. Feedback is always appreciated 💜💜💜

Butcher finds your abilities both disgusting and impressive. Your super sight, smell, etc. are really helpful in certain situations. He jokingly calls you their own personal Tek Knight, which you shut down immediately. What's disgusting is when your claws come out, breaking through the skin of your knuckles. There's a lot of blood. There's a lot of pain even with your healing. And something about them just freaks him out. You jokingly try to poke him with them, touch him with them, and though he'd never admit it, he absolutely hates the feeling. There's just something wrong about them that he can't pinpoint or describe. They're helpful for sure and watching you use them is always gory, he'd just like for them to go away as quickly as possible.

Hughie finds you fascinating. The healing and the claws are always cool, but it's the fact that you're so much older than all of them, so much more experienced, and yet you age so little. Because you're body heals so well, you age at a slower rate than the rest of the world. While that's not totally new for Supes, he's always interested in hearing about your life. You have so much knowledge, so many more experiences, so many lives lived before this mess took over. You find it the least interesting part of your abilities, but Hughie's always had an appreciation for the underappreciated. He loves to listen to you talk about the past, what the world was like, what Vought and The Seven were like. It wasn't always this fucked, at least that's the conclusion he comes to as you talk. It was fucked, it was a mess, but the introduction of Homelander really set in stone this future.

Annie is your confidant. The healing factor has saved your and others lives countless times, but everyone forgets you can still feel pain. Long after your body has put itself back together, the phantom pain lingers. It's excruciating and, secretly, you live in fear of being torn apart. Days and weeks later, you move as if you're still broken. You'll wake up, confused for a moment, expecting to be torn limb from limb, before you come to your senses. Even your claws leave your hands raw, arthritic. You know Annie thinks about that more than anyone else. You told her one night about the pain and since then she's always been aware, quietly asking you if you're alright. Sometimes the pain goes away in a few hours, other times it takes weeks. It all depends on the severity. You try not to complain, knowing you must sound like a broken record, but she doesn't see it that way.

M.M., kind of like Butcher, is weirded out by your claws. He doesn't mind the healing or the heightened senses. For the most part, those things are hidden. It's the claws he gets the heebie jeebies from. You poke fun at him because of this. Out of all the Supe abilities you could have gotten, claws aren't the oddest thing you could have developed. He is reminded of Webweavers abilities and that puts things into perspective for a little while. He didn't trust you in the beginning. It was hard to show him you weren't just another Supe hopped up on V. You're a lot older than everyone, you've experienced more, you're wiser than he gives you credit for. He learns to trust you because of your level head. In situations where other people would be losing their shit, you're calm, cool, and collected. It isn't your abilities that make him befriend you, it's the person underneath them.

Frenchie both loves and hates your abilities. He finds your claws fascinating. Every time you use them he's left in awe. He loves watching you use them, the way you can hide them and bring them out when they're least expecting it. He doesn't find them weird or odd like his friends. They're amazing. He hates, though, that your heightened senses are basically a lie detector test he fails every time. You know when he's been drinking, smoking, getting high. You try not to make a big deal about it, but you do talk to him about it in private. You know when he's lying, though any non-Supe could figure it out when they learn all his tells. He's not as good as he thinks he is at lying. He's always amazed with your stamina, too. It's something a lot of people tend to overlook about your powers, but he doesn't.

Kimiko and you bond effortlessly. Your abilities are so similar and yet so different. Together you're a fantastic duo, unstoppable. She likes touching your claws, though hates the way they have to come out. She knows what it's like, to have to sacrifice yourself, your body, for the greater good. She knows what it's like to wake up confused and, for a moment, feeling as if you're missing parts of yourself. The two of you work together effortlessly and find a lot of humor in your abilities whereas everyone else sees a severed limb of broken bones, you can see just how silly the body is, how fragile and easily it both breaks and repairs itself. She loves your heightened senses and always tells her what you can find out: M.M. got a new chapstick (strawberry), Butcher ate something with peppers, Annie got Hughie a new cologne, etc.

[shdysders]

the fallout

pairing: jenna ortega & female reader

summary: in which you and jenna unexpectedly run into each other after a long complicated time, which makes things take a big turn for you.

word count: 4.8k

warnings: 18+ heavy topics; depression, suicide, unhealthy weight loss.

authors note: my longest imagine so far, but also the darkest one i would say. please tell me if it’s too confusing bc i feel like it might be. the ending is a little rushed, so tell me if you have any questions about it.

The weird thing about relationships is that they have a way of defying expectations. Just when you think you have it all figured out, love throws you a curveball, leaving you both bewildered and amazed. Especially when you're in a relationship that's all out in the public, everybody knows about it and is all up in your business. Not that any of that mattered if were deeply in love.

Although the lack of privacy and a judgmental crowd could ruin som parts of it, you wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

Your girlfriend Jenna, was everything you had ever wanted, not because of the fame, nor the money, but because she was the epitome of your dreams. She embodied everything you had ever hoped for, ever since you were a little girl.

When the news about the it-girl's new girlfriend got out, the whole media was astonished. The movie star had never shown any interest towards girls publicly, or any romantic feelings at all for that matter.

After the surprising information about your relationship with Jenna, you guys quickly became a huge favorite among the fans and admirers, known for being the biggest love-birds on the internet. Every paparazzi picture that was ever taken of the two of you contained heart eyes full of admiration while the two of you looked at each other.

Everyone made it their goal in life to find love like the two of you had.

The life in the spotlight was a whole new experience for you. You had no clue about what it was going to be like til you got pushed into it in one day. But you didn't complain, thanks to the relationship with your girlfriend your dreams of becoming a musician came true, and before you knew it; you were known as one of the biggest rising stars in the music industry.

To say your life was complicated would've been an understatement.  Considering both of you had very different careers, you guys barely made as much time for each other as you did before.

Jenna was barely home due all of the big jobs and interviews she was assigned for, which obviously hurt your relationship more than it should've. It felt like every moment she got the chance to be home with you, was about her being filled with anger and stress; taking it out on nobody else but you.

In other words the American 'it couple' wasn't as perfect as the public thought, they had painted up these perfect expectations that they were sure you guys lived up to, and that was one of the main reasons on why the media was aghast when the news about the thing leaked out.

The break up.

The separation shocked the whole audience, mainly fans that had followed you guys since the beginning, but also people that barely knew who you were. Everything happened so unexpectedly, nobody could ever see it coming.

For some reason, the break up almost became more known than the time you were actually together. Mainly because news leak out rather quickly, but also because nobody could figure out the reason for it, and Jenna's ignorance did not help when it came to solving the mystery.

Only one week after the incident Jenna was back at set, doing interviews and events, acting like nothing had changed. Which the media found extremely strange, some people even thought the break up didn't happen at all.

They didn't have much information about the reason for the break up, only a discreetly taken paparazzi picture of you leaving Jenna's apartment in full on tears; that was quickly leaked on the internet with all sorts of captions and headlines.

That was the last picture the paparazzi could ever take of you before you disappeared from the spotlight completely. Nobody knew why, not even you.

The day Jenna broke up with you, was the day your whole life fell apart. She was everything you had, due your parents always being neglecting or gone for work trips. Jenna was the only thing you were living for. That's why you went home that day, and barely went anywhere else.

You wallowed in your small apartment for days, eventually the days turned into weeks, the weeks turned into months, and the months turned into years. You would go a long amount of time without eating or drinking, and you couldn't remember the last time you had gotten a proper night sleep or eaten a full meal.

This was a big deal for the media, what could've possibly happened that made the next rising music star disappear completely? Some people actually thought that you and Jenna didn't break up at all, just that you decided to keep it private.

Some tried to convince the public that maybe the singing career wasn't for you and that you might've just started working as something else, but nobody believed that considering the fact that Jenna had said you looked happier than she had ever seen you when you were on stage. Well, that was in an interview when the two of you were still together. Nowadays you could never catch the actress talking about you.

It was never revealed why the separation happened or who was responsible for it. The only people knowing about being you, Jenna, and your families.

Jenna had broken up with you just a few weeks before your birthday. She claimed that both of you had completely different goals in life, that you were heading in different directions and we're holding each other back. You tried convincing her that all you would ever want in life was her, even if it meant dropping everything you had. But it didn't work.

After hours of pleading and crying, Jenna had instructed for you to go home. To your "home" that in your mind wasn't nearly close to a home, it wasn't somewhere you wanted to be. You wanted to be with her, in her apartment, like it had always been.

That's when the photos were taken of you, but the tears in your eyes and panic feeling in your throat stopped you from noticing. So did your depression from seeing the news and articles about you.

Time passed, and you still didn't get better. You didn't try to get better either, seeing no point if your future wasn't with who you wanted to. You tried telling yourself that you would wait for her to come around, she would realize how much you belonged together and would eventually come back to you. That was worth living for. The only thing worth living for.

Since the depression made time feel like it just flew by, you weren't really surprised when already two and a half years had passed since the break up, and the more days that passed, you were starting to doubt that Jenna was ever gonna come back.

In your mind, Jenna was thinking about you every day, trying to find the right way to come back to you, but whether it was true or just your brain trying to start a war with you, you didn't know, nor care.

But what you also didn't know; due to the lack of time you spent checking the news or social media. Jenna's life had changed way more than you thought and imagined.

She had met someone new.

***

Walking down the busy streets of New York was basically a part time job while living there. Jenna was an expert about it if anyone, and in her state right now, it was even tougher to make it through, like an intense workout.

Finally making it to one of the calmer streets, she made sure to catch a breath; like the doctor had told her if anything felt too heavy while moving, she was carrying extra pressure after all.

Walking through the city, carefully sneaking glances into the shops she passed, curious to see who was in the different areas today.

After for what felt like hours she finally made it to the library, where she was supposed to borrow some books for herself to keep her entertained for all the following weeks were she supposed she would just lay at home, waiting for something to happen with the growing thing inside of her.

The bell above the door greeted her with a ring as she opened the door, the librarian giving her a small smile before going back to her work at the front desk.

Jenna returned a small smile, trying her hardest not to let out a loud sigh from all the walking as she held her stomach, her footsteps making the carpeted wooden floor creak as she walked.

The library looked fully empty, it usually was considering it was a pretty small one, not one of the best looking either; smelled like dust and looked like it was something from the early 2000s. But it was her favorite one, it always had the books she was looking for available.

Looking through the different shelves, trying to find the right one she was looking for, letting out a few grunts when she had been standing still for too long, flipping through the books. She heard a creek of the floor coming from the other side of the 'corridor' in the small library. 

Carefully directing her head towards the sound, she noticed a slim figure standing there, delicately flipping through the pages of a book in her hands.

A recognizable feeling ran through Jenna's body as she watched the person. The hair gracefully draping over the shoulders, exuding an aura of elegance and charm, as if it were a scene from a captivating book.  

But when she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, revealing her side profile and the wide eyes curiously scanning the text on the pages of the book. Jenna's eyes could process who it was, and the sight made her throat feel thick and cold sweat beginning to form on her body. Despised that, she still couldn't stop herself when she walked forward, calling your name.

"Y/n?" Her voice creaked out.

The voice calling your name quickly made your head turn to where she was situated. And when your eyes met hers, you could swear you felt your heart finding a place in your stomach. She looked just as the day she broke you, although her face was a little bit more swollen than the last time.

You wanted to smile, you wanted to hug her and tell her how much you had missed her. But your body didn't move. Did she search you up? Did she come here to take you back?

Your eyes were filled with admiration as you inspected Jenna's face. You couldn't say the same for her eyes, they were filled with worry and was scanning your whole body.

You barely looked like yourself. Your eyes that was once bright and full of life, was now replaced with tired ones with a red waterline, the wrinkles that used to be visible under your eyes from smiling so much, was now replaced by dark eye bags that told her that you hadn't slept for ages.

Your body didn't look the same either, the clothes you were wearing practically swallowed you whole, your face had sunken a huge amount and the exposed part of your collarbone showed that you had lost a ton of weight.

"Jenna..Hi." You almost shuttered out, unsurely moving your hands to put them in the front pockets of your pants.

She tried pushing the worry of your current state to the side as she tried to start a conversation with you. "Hi.." She smiled, noticing that you were trying so hardly to smile back at her.

"It's been so long, I– It's so nice to see you again." Jenna spoke almost eagerly, being quick to break the silence that tried to sneak through the two of you; knowing that silence was not something you loved as much as she did.

"How have you been doing?" She added to the conversation, when she in reality should've walked away the second she saw you. But she just couldn't, you had always had the ability to get her captivated by you, no matter what the situation was.

You swallowed thickly, trying your hardest to get your voice to sound normal. "Fine.." You spoke lowly, nodding a little receiving a small nod from her as well.

"Great, actually." You tried again, wanting to sound more confident this time. Because maybe there was a bigger chance she would take you back if she knew you were doing good.

"Yeah?" Jenna nodded bigger this time, smile growing bigger on her face. "What about the music? How's that going?" She asked carefully, hoping to receive that sparkle in your eye that she would see every time you got the chance to talk about your music.

But who was she trying to fool? She knew exactly what had been going on with you. She knew you weren't playing anymore, that nobody had seen you ever since your last concert almost three years ago.

Jenna would be lying if she said she never searched your name up incase there had been any news about you, because she did it every day.

She had been trying to text you a few weeks after the blow out, even trying to wish you a happy birthday when the day arrived. But she was never surprised to see that you hadn't answered any of the text messages she had written whenever she had the time.

And sure, the guilt was getting to her, basically everyone knew that the reason for your downfall was her, her mainly or her only, it didn't matter. Knowing that she might've been the reason you looked like this, made her heart fill up with a deep ache.

Her thoughts came to a quit when she noticed you ashamedly directed your head down, finding your shoes interesting. But Jenna didn't stop, she wanted to see that spark so badly that her mouth moved faster than she could process.

"Y–you're gonna have to tell me of you're having having a concert or something... It would be so much fun to see you again." Jenna spoke, the words falling out of her mouth before she had the chance to think them through.

You were now looking at her again, a mix of emotions painted on your face. But Jenna could see the forced smile that made its way up on your face.

But you were starting to grow impatient. Did she come here to take you back or not? That's why you softly tried to ask her the question you so badly wanted her to ask.

"Would you like to grab a coffee some day?" You felt your heartbeat quicken at your own words, even more when you saw her face lit up with a smile.

But the sentence meant totally different things for the two of you. For you it was a date, but for Jenna it was a friendly request, basically telling her you wanted to keep going as friends.

"Yeah I–I'd love that.." She nodded, almost laughing while talking, making her stomach feel heavier than before, which made her caress it carefully with one of her hands.

And then it came, the sparkle in your eyes she so desperately wanted to see again. It appeared in your eyes for a split second, making her breath hitch as she carefully watched you with a smile.

But your happy expression with sparkles in your eyes was quickly exchanged with a crushed one when your gaze followed down to where Jenna's hand was placed. Tears almost immediately filling your eyes as you looked down at the bump on Jenna's stomach, along with the diamond placed on her ring finger.

Jenna immediately noticed your change of emotions, almost feeling ashamed as she watched your breathing stop for a split second. She bit her lip nervously, trying to figure out your next move.

"I–I uhm.. I have to get home." You hurried out, quickly wiping your eyes before the tears had a chance to fall. 

Jenna could feel her mouth open trying to say something, but nothing came out. She sadly watched as you quickly walked away from her and out of the library, making herself feel like she made a mistake by even walking up to you.

She didn't know you weren't aware of her pregnancy, because she thought you did, technically everyone knew about it. The whole world was in shock when the news about the pregnancy of the new it girl came out; posting it everywhere as soon as it was revealed.

But what Jenna didn't know was that you had deleted all social media platforms from all of your devices, not taking any chances of seeing fake news about yourself or headlines about Jenna being happier than ever; when you were about to let your bed swallow you whole.

You couldn't hear Jennas voice calling your name when you hurried out the store. The high pitched beep and the loud voices in your head taking over your thoughts.

She didn't come to take you back, she didn't plan to find you at all. She doesn't want you back in her life, she's moved on. She didn't think about you every day, she had someone else to think about now.

Your legs were moving so rapidly that you could barely feel them, the tears in your eyes refused to fall no matter how close to the edge they got. You didn't blink, you didn't think, nothing was worth it.

The quick steps turned into slow ones as the thoughts disappeared from your mind. Now that you got the confirmation about the things you prayed weren't true. There was nothing to live for.

If you were going to live a future without the person you had thought about for three years straight, there was no point.

***

The day at the library had been clouding Jenna's mind for two days straight, never leaving her alone no matter how hard she tried.

She couldn't stop thinking about your crushed face; that she could only see for a second before you rushed away. It reminded her way too much of the face you wore when she ended things between the two of you; the face that she had nightmares of for months.

She had tried to leave messages and calls to your number; she wanted to talk things out. She wanted to still know you, and based on the person she saw a few days before, she couldn't anticipate how difficult that process would be.

She didn't know who you were anymore, and the pain of not knowing the person that was once the most important individual in her life was eating her alive. She weren't in your life anymore, so that's why she was surprised to see your mother's name and number appear on her phone screen.

Both hesitation and worry filled her veins as she answered the call from your mother. You had never had a close relationship to your parents; they were gone for work trips the majority of your childhood.

Jenna tried to greet the woman on the phone, but quickly shut her eyes in embarrassment as she heard how shaky and questioning her voice sounded.

But your mom didn't seem to notice. "Jenna! Hi.." she sighed out of relief. Jenna could almost hear her sniffling on the other line, making her brows furrow out of confusion. "How have you been?"

"I've been great.." Jenna answered, uncertainty lacing her voice, "Sorry what is this about?" She tried to cancel the dry talking, feeling her worry growing bigger every second that passed.

"Oh yes of course.. sorry." She sniffled again, making the concern in Jenna only growing stronger.

"I uhm, I'm calling to say that..." Your mother paused, like the words that were about to come out of her mouth were poison. "Y/n is no longer with us.." She finished, a muffled sob leaving her mouth.

Jenna felt like her heart took a plunge, sinking into the depths of her being. "What?" She managed to breath out.

"She killed herself last night.." Your mothers shaky voice explained, followed by quiet sobs.

The whole world felt like it stopped. And for a second, Jenna could almost hear your laugh fill her eardrums, your smell filling her nostrils, your smile filling her eyes and your touch roaming her body.

This couldn't be true, there was no way. She was just about to make things right with you.

Jenna couldn't find her voice, it was like it had fallen the same path as her heart. Her mouth opening but nothing coming out, mind only focusing on you.

You, you radiated joy like a sunbeam, brightening everyone's day with your infectious laughter. Your magnetic personality pulled people in without hesitation, like a bees to a field of blooming flowers. Your heart was full of sunshine that spread warmth and happiness wherever you went. Your effervescent spirit bubbled over, filling every room with laughter. People were drawn to you like a moth to a flame, captivated by your vibrant and lively presence. And now you were gone.

The person she saw at the library just days before, was nothing like the person she once knew you as. She didn't know what destroyed you like that, but something did, and she felt the need to know what.

***

Jenna stared at the steam that was flying from the big coffee mug. She felt as if she was teetering on the edge of sleep, her eyelids heavy and her body yearning for rest.

She didn't get a single wink of rest that night, tossing and turning throughout the whole hours of darkness.

The tiredness was quick to disappear when she heard the sound of the bell ringing, signalizing that somebody walked in. She rapidly turned around to check who it was, careful not to make herself dizzy due the exhaustion.

When she saw it was your mom who walked into the coffee shop, she tried shooting her a tired smile, but it quickly disappeared when she saw your mothers state.

She had messy hair, red waterlines and faint eye bags under her eyes, but they were no where close to the ones she saw on your face three days before.

Jenna rose to her feet, ready to shake the woman's hand, but to her surprise your mom just walked straight into her, embracing her with a warm hug.

Your mom slowly pulled away, keeping her hands in a soft grip on Jenna's shoulders and looked into her eyes with a tired smile, almost inspecting her face.

Your mother had asked Jenna if she'd liked to meet up somewhere, just to talk. She accepted without hesitation, feeling like it was a must in their situation.

She was nervous tho, she hadn't seen you or your mom for about 3 years, and she didn't know how much you had told her about the break up. But your mom didn't seem to hate her like she would've thought, she didn't have a single look of hatred in her eyes when she looked at Jenna.

"So Jenna.." your mom sat down in the chair in-front of her on the other side of the table. "Do you have any new projects coming soon?" She smiled, picking up the coffee mug from the table and taking a sip.

Jenna couldn't help but feel at home, a smile creeping up her lips. "Yeah..Yeah I do actually. I have a few." Making your mom nod with an even bigger smile.

And she did, she did have a few coming out soon, but she didn't have any projects that she was currently working on. But she couldn't say that, because then your mom would ask her why, and she couldn't answer that. She couldn't say that she was pregnant when your mother had just lost her daughter. That's why Jenna wore a black coat, trying her best to cover it up; it was just for the best.

"We actually watched one of your most recent projects a few weeks ago.." She kept the conversation going, wiping her mouth with her sleeve. "And I really liked it. You're a very talented girl.."

Jenna could feel herself blush at the compliment, but it quickly faded when she realized that was what you used to call her. She was your talented girl, and you were hers.

"Thank you.. Thank you that means a lot. You're too kind."

Your mother smiled sadly, "Y/n loved it a lot as well." She tried, but maybe it was too early to talk about you.

The sound of your name falling out of your moms mouth made a thick layer of silence fall between them. Jenna felt like the room turned smaller, making it harder to breath. She gulped, but the woman in-front of her didn't seem affected by the words; her tired expression didn't change. But she looked down towards the coffee on the table as she started to speak.

"Y'know.. I thought she had gotten better since the.." Your mom abruptly halted her words, as if they were toxic and she couldn't utter them. "Her last attempt." She sighed out, rubbing her temple gently.

Jenna furrowed her eyebrows, her mouth opening before she could even think. "What?"

Your mom returned the furrowed brows, not understanding the younger girl's confusion. "Her last attempt." She repeated, suddenly in a much more questioning tone than last time. "Last year." She tried to explained further.

Jenna's posture that she had previously straightened now fell, a small 'oh' falling from her lips. She didn't know about that, but what did she expect? You hadn't talked to each other in over three years, of course she didn't know about that.

"It was so nice of you to interrupt your filming just to check up on her." Your mom was now smiling at Jenna again.

It felt as if her entire being was in a state of disarray, with every fiber of her being unsure and bewildered. "Check up on her? Wha– I didn't do that." Jenna stuttered like a messed up vinyl on a record player.

Maybe it was rude to admit such a thing, and in such a confused tone as well. But Jenna couldn't help it, she had no idea what the woman was talking about.

Your moms smile faded as a confused expression took over her face. She opened her mouth to speak, but Jenna broke her to it.

"Mrs L/N, me and Y/n have been broken up for three years." She hesitated while speaking, unsure if it was the right thing to say. Maybe she already knew?

But based on the shocked reaction she got showed that she didn't til now. "Three years?" She questioned, not sure if she had heard it right.

Jenna just nodded as a response; her mouth too dry to say anything more. The grimace on your moms face made her nervous, not having a clue on what was going to happen next.

Your mom didn't lash out like Jenna thought she would, she just put a hand over her mouth, tears almost visible in her eyes.

Jenna began to panic, did she ruin it all? Is your mom going to hate her now? All kinds of questions flashing through her head, you had clearly not told your mom the whole story, how much did you tell?

Without having to ask the question herself, your mom spoke up, like she could've read Jenna's mind. "She told me you guys broke up three weeks ago.." The tears almost fell from her eyes, nothing but confusion and sadness pooling in her eyes.

Jennas mouth opened and closed like a fish in the water, not knowing what to say at all. Why would you lie?

"And she called me the night before, rambling about how she saw you and that you wouldn't want her back like she had wished. I didn't understand what she was talking about.." Your mother spoke rapidly, almost too quickly for Jenna to recall what she was saying.

Jenna's mind went blank, her ears shutting your mothers voice out as she continued talking. The last part she heard was that you had told your mom it was your first time going outside of your apartment in months; aside from going to your therapist.

That's when it all clicked; it was her fault. She was the reason you had flipped and didn't want to live any longer.

You had spent all of your three years waiting for Jenna to take you back, and she didn't. Instead she found another man, got pregnant and engaged to him.

You had waited for her the whole time, but your anticipation was left unappreciated, by her and her only.

[tranzjen]

🖤💙 4 days until my Surgery 💙🖤

(Picture taken Dec 9th, 2023)

I'm very very excited for my surgery (it's my second gender affirming surgery but this one is more significant to me since it'll be top and bottom surgery) and I'm obviously counting the days until it and I thought some people might be interested in my trans journey 🏳️‍⚧️ So see part 7 below the cut.

Part 1 here

As the summer was ending, I got really lucky! A lesbian hairstylist (who helped organize the drag show I went in the last update) gave my name to this sales lady who sold accounting work to like companies and she needed help with researching CEO and CFO types. And she paid me out of pocket and honestly it was pretty easy internet research using Google. I felt like a little rat scurrying across the Internet 🐀 So, thank you lesbians 🙏🙏

(Picture taken Nov 6th, 2022)

Apparently I really impressed her so she got me hired full time as a sales admin for her company (I wouldn't have gotten with my lack of a college degree without her) and I've had that job since! And a lot of my transition wouldn't be possible without the pay and benefits of this job. Also this is my first job where I get gendered correctly and I'm slowly getting less anxious about going to the bathroom at work 🥰

She honestly mom'd up on me and bought me a bunch of new business casual clothes for the job. And here's an example of one of my new work outfits 😁

(Picture taken Nov 14, 2022)

Bc of the new job I was able to afford a lot more things for transitioning! Like voice training. I remember when I first cracked I tried to just teach myself using videos but I wasn't good at it 😅 Also a friend during the summer of 2022 helped me and I did make some progress with her help. But, I started making a lot more progress once I started seeing a speech therapist. But, there was a barrier since I could tell she hadn't worked too much with trans people. I went to a speech therapist bc it was covered by my insurance but she moved and then I couldn't find anyone for insurance covered speech therapy. So, I eventually just paid for lessons Your Lessons Now. And, honestly it's going a lot better! It's really nice to be able to talk about my frustrations with voice training with another transfem. The biggest thing I'm learning from here is how to break the bad habit of pitching up my voice by squeezing my vocal chords.

(Picture taken Sept 8th, 2023)

I had also switched to injections and I highly recommend it! A friend even made my first two vials into earrings 🔥

I also got a lot lazier with makeup 😅 I do eyeliner wings, mascara, and blush for when I go into the office. Which for a bunch of accountants means I do about as much makeup that is normal for the women in the office 🤷‍♀️

(Pictures taken October 31st and December 2nd of 2022)

These were two notable exceptions. I really love the makeup I did for the Halloween of 2022 bc I decided to go as a ghost-type trainer. And the one on the right is when I learned how to use concealer to cover my 'raccoon eyes' as my dad liked to call them 🦝

Also this would be a good time to mention something I probably should've mentioned earlier 😅 I never learned how to use foundation. I know it's easy but I have a weird mental block around it 🤷‍♀️ But, in the summer of 2021 I started doing twice daily skincare routine for my face. Which took me from a very acne heavy face to people being surprised I'm not wearing foundation. Also the routine is really nice. Would recommend to those who want to get rid of their acne (send an ask if you want to know specifics).

(Picture taken Aug 20, 2023)

Romance update since I've been doing that lol: Well, things ended with all the girlfriends I had so I am down to 1 partner. And I got caught in a romance scam for a few months 😭 However, I can't really complain because I got engaged!!! It was so sweet in cute. My partner and I had this date the night before Valentine's Day under a statue outside of a local art museum. We read sapphic poetry by candle light and then they popped the question 🥰🥰

But, I say another big part of this era was I made a lot more local trans friends. Went to a good amount of house parties which would've surprised pre-transition me! And I really love my community of queer people I've been building 🥺🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️💕

(Picture taken July 21st, 2023)

Oh yeah!! I also started laser hair removal at the beginning of 2021 as well. Which was before this era but time is a lie. But the new job definitely made it easier to afford.

The biggest step for my transition was getting my surgeries set up!! And my FFS (facial feminization surgery) marks the end of this era. Below was the last picture I took before my FFS.

(Picture taken Feb 17th, 2024)

So, in my next update, I'll be showing my post-op pictures once most of the swelling went down. See you tomorrow!! 😁✌️

Next Part Here

[gemini-sensei]

binary boyfriends pt2👀👀

Binary Boyfriends x Innocent!Reader

● Part 1 ●

Shout out to @cades-outsider bc they motived me to finish this post 😆 hope you don't mind if I tag you <3

CW: first sexual experience, first blowjob, guiding blowjob, use of "good girl", gagging, cum eating, tit play, fingering, mlm sex. A/N: I didn't have time to edit this but I had to finish it, so have it and please enjoy.

The tour of the Valley Hawk and Demetri ended up giving Reader was a lot more fun than they first thought it would be. They've lived there their entire lives, so of course they didn't think it would be interesting, but Reader changed that really quickly. Everywhere they went, she made the most of it, even if it was as simple as showing her what grocery store to shop at because it had better prices. But they didn't just show her the practical spots, they showed her the hot spots around town.

When they sat down for lunch at Hawk's favorite pizza place, Reader rambled about how great the Valley already was. Though she complained that her apartment was lonely and her neighbors were a little rude, but she always tried to look on the bright side of things. However the thought stuck with Hawk and Demetri as she continued on about maybe getting a pet. Then Hawk, seemingly out of nowhere, invited her over for a movie at their place.

She accepted happily and the first night she came over, she brought her favorite throw blanket and snacks. They've made the place cozy for her, more pillows and blankets laid out on the couch. She sits on one of of the couch so Hawk and Demetri can cuddle up - which by the way, Demetri is the big spoon by default when cuddling on the couch; he's too lanky and awkward to be the little spoon. Nothing else happened that night other than watching a movie with new friends. However, movie nights at Hawk and Demetri's place became a normal thing.

After her coming over so often, there's one night when their friendship changes...

They picked a newer movie to watch thinking nothing of it but it turned out to be a snore-fest. It was hard to sit through and Reader found herself so bored, messing with her phone more than anything else. She didn't want to say anything because at first, it seemed like Hawk and Demetri were enjoying it. However, she didn't really see the way Demetri was rolling his eyes at what was happening on screen.

Then an out-of-nowhere sex scene came on. It wasn't bad - just extremely out of place.

Demetri got uncomfortable fast and Hawk knew it; Hawk fucking felt it and teased him quietly for the duration of the scene. Demetri had to clamp his mouth shut but had a little trouble. He would look over at Reader as she stared at the screen, a little in shock. And that was when he remembered she was so sweet and innocent and probably didn't look at anything like that. The thought made him come in his pants and Hawk had to hold back a laugh.

Demetri excused himself quickly after that, red in the face and in need of a change of clothes. And he gave Hawk a pointed look on his way out, to which Hawk gave a smirk that was not at all innocent.

Hawk turned off the movie but only after that scene had ended. "I couldn't take anymore of that."

Reader, also flustered, nodded. "Yeah, um, it was certainly something."

Hawk laughed and nodded. "Yeah, it was so bad, I wasn't expecting that to happen."

Reader nodded but didn't say anything else. Hawk took the moment to scoot over on the couch closer to her. He wanted to say something but all the things he wanted to say were caught in his throat, so he put his arm around her.

She looked at him. "What are you doing?"

While she was innocent and never had a boyfriend before, she knew the signs. And seeing them come from Hawk was a little weird - he had a boyfriend! - so she was unsure of what exactly was going on. She didn't want to think the worst, this was her friend after all, but she had to ask before something weird happened.

He smiled. "You caught me."

"Yeah, and?"

"Look, Reader, you're really cute and hot," he told her, turning his body to face her. He pulled his arm away, sensing that that wasn't the move.

She stared at him and whispered, "Hawk... you have a boyfriend."

"Who is as into as I am," he told her, flashing that confident smile.

She gasped because that just sounded crazy to her because no one had ever shown interest in her before. What was this? It made her heart hammer in her chest and she didn't know if she liked that or not. In all honesty, it was a little overwhelming.

"Really?"

"Really," a voice said from the hall.

She turned to look, finding Demetri in a new pair of pajama pants, but they did little to hide his still-hard cock. It created a rather big tent in the front of his pants and Reader found herself staring at him, mouth agape.

"Jesus Christ," Hawk laughed, unable to keep his mouth shut. He looked away from his boyfriend and to Reader. "Sorry about him, he's a mess."

"Hey, don't act like you didn't do this," Demetri said accusingly. "You sat here and got me off during that lewd fuck fest that should not have been in that movie! So I don't want to hear your greater than thou crap right now!"

Reader's jaw managed to drop lower as she heard this. "You guys... did stuff with me here?"

They looked at her, both a little embarrassed now that she had put it like that. "Kind of?"

Hawk swallowed hard. "Yes, but this was only the first time something like this has happened with you here."

"Something like that with me here?" she asked, looking between them. "What is that supposed to mean?"

Demetri began stammering. "Well, um, you see... sometimes, uh," then it call came out at once. "Wehavesexandthinkaboutyouwhilewedoit."

"Excuse me?"

Hawk jumped in. "It's not what it sounds like. Really. I mean, we just think you're so great and gorgeous and super fucking hot."

She stared at them for a long while, curled up under her blanket. What they don't know is that they've totally flattered her. No one has ever thought about her like this, at least not that they've ever admitted. And she was a little turned on by this strange form of flattery.

What she said next left them speechless and eager:

"Would you show me?"

That's how they ended up with Reader perched on the edge of the couch getting lessons in how to give a blowjob. Hawk held her hand around the base of Demetri's huge cock as she sucked on the tip. His eyes were closed as he stood before them, her inexperienced mouth on him hot and wet and so eager to learn. He had to remind himself he wanted to see this and unscrew his eyes to watch.

"Now, let your jaw relax and take more of him in your mouth," Hawk instructed.

Reader did as told, but gagged when his tip hit the back of her throat. She pulled back and coughed and Hawk rubbed her back, telling her it was okay, that happens sometimes. She took a few deep breaths before taking Demetri in her mouth again and Hawk, turned on from watching, let out a low "Good girl. Don't give up."

She bobbed her head over what she could take of Demetri's length, her hands around the base of his cock. Hawk helped her squeeze and pump his dick, but didn't have her do too much while she was still learning. Demetri was moaning and groaning, muttering to himself as he watched.

"Reader," he groaned and she looked up at him with her pretty, innocent eyes. "Oh shit."

"That means he's close," Hawk rasped in her ear, smirking. "Let's help him finish."

He put a hand on the back of Reader's head and slowly pushed her onto him. As Demetri's dick was fed into her mouth, he told her to tap out if she needed to and she moaned in response, sending vibrations over Demetri that made his eyes roll. When his cock hit the back of her throat, she gagged but sat through it, soon letting her jaw and muscles relax enough that he pushed into her throat.

As soon as her tight throat was wrapped around just the tip, Demetri was coming. His cock throbbed and shot hot ropes of cum down her throat. It was a strange feelings but Reader loved it, moaning as he practically force-fed her his cum. He began to pull out after a few shots because he didn't want to overwhelm her, coming on her tongue without really meaning to and letting her taste him, which she moaned as soon as she got a taste of him. She held his cock on her tongue until he finished and Hawk helped her, tapping his boyfriend's dick on her tongue as the last few weak shots came out.

After a moment, Hawk looked at Reader, drool running down her chin. "How was that?"

"Really fun," she giggled.

"Wanna have more fun?"

She nodded and he used the hand on the back of her head to pull her into a heady kiss. He forewent little kisses and went straight into making out with her, and groaned as he tasted Demetri on her tongue. She leaned into him and he pulled her onto his lap so she felt how hard his dick was in his sweats, making her almost pull out of the kiss to gasp. She got a half of a gasp in before he groaned and pulled her back into him, smashing their lips together.

Demetri dropped onto the couch, watching them. His half-soft cock was wet with spit and glistening. He took his cock in his hand and slowly pumped his sensitive cock, this was his second orgasm of the night after all and he needed to pace himself.

When Hawk pushed his hands up Reader's shirt, squeezing and pinching her pudge sides, she pulled away and squealed with a smile. She felt hot all over and his little squeeze game was not helping with that. She smiled at him, giggling, then licked her lips and bit her lip.

He could tell something was on her mind. "What is it?"

"Can we go somewhere else?" she asked, a little shy.

He looked at Demetri, who nodded, and Hawk nodded to her. "Hell yeah."

They took her to their bedroom and threw the comforter off. Hawk laid her down and kissed her again, pulling moans out of her as his hands wandered her sides again. He loved feeling her soft fat spill between his fingers and he found the best place for that to happen be her stomach and waist, both being so soft and squeezable. Demetri teased him for it lightly as he crawled onto the bed beside him, which earned him a middle finger as Hawk didn't dare pull out of the hot make-out session to tell him off.

Demetri was impatient and wanted to see them naked, so he started pulling at Hawk's shirt. It got a little annoying and Hawk pulled away, grunting as he was forced to part from Reader's hot, swollen lips. Demetri was satisfied to get his shirt off, pulling it over Hawk's head and tossing it aside. Once it was off, his lips descended upon Hawk's lean body and kissed along the scaling skin, along his back, and his huge tattoo that Demetri swore up and down he didn't care that much for (but that was a lie because he found it to be so hot on his skin). Hawk did something similar, kissing Reader's jaw and down to her neck. Her shirt came off next when he wanted to kiss further down her body.

He licked his lips as he got a look at her fat tits in her cute bra. He had that undone soon enough and tossed it aside, staring at her tit. "Dem, look at how pretty she is."

Demetri pulled away and looked over Hawk's shoulder at her, eyes unable to stay in one place as he took in the sight of her. "Wow."

From where she lay, Reader was breathless, but it wasn't just because of the heavy making out she'd just been doing. It was the eyes on her, soaking up her upper body in a way she didn't know could make her feel all hot and bothered. She squirmed under their gaze, smiling at their flattering words. She looked away from them though, unsure of what to do or say. It made what happened next a bit of a shock.

A hot mouth came down on her nipple, sucking on it lightly, quickly followed by a second mouth that lapped at her other pert nipple. She gasped and moaned, eyes fluttering closed as she felt ecstasy course through her like hot lava. It all sent sensations to her core, which was throbbing behind her wet panties. She whined at the need to be touched there, there and everywhere else. She found herself wanting to be touched by Hawk and Demetri's big hands all over her body and she needed them so desperately, but she didn't know how to tell them that. The words were lost on her as their mouths played with her tits, sucking and teasing them mercilessly.

When Hawk had enough of sucking hickeys onto her skin, he moved further down her body while one of Demetri's hand took hold of her abandoned tit. Hawk's lips kissed a trail down her tummy, occasionally biting the soft fat as to tease her and hear her yelp. It was so hot, but not as hot as what waited for him between her legs.

He sat up some to pull her comfy pants off along with her panties, finding her soaking wet pussy. She was untouched, so he knew she was tight and that he was going to have to prep her if they were going to do anything other than oral and hand stuff. So he touched her gently and listened for her reaction, unable to see her face very well thanks to Demetri.

She gasped as he slid his thumb over her slit, spreading her wetness. He asked, "How's that?"

"Nice," she breathed out.

He hummed and nodded, watching her hole. "Tell me if you get uncomfortable or if it hurts and I'll stop. The last thing I want to do is hurt you."

"Okay," she said, moaning softly because Demetri was seemingly insatiable when it came to her fat, pretty tits. He was doing wonders on her and it was sending jolts of pleasure down to her cunt, making her wetter than she even knew. "What are you going to do, Hawk?"

"I'm gonna finger you," he told her. He knew it might tire her out and that would be as far as they got, but if that were going to be the case, then he was going to do one Hell of a job at it. Only time would tell.

She whined softly and her hips thrust up as he lightly touched her clit, making Hawk realize she wasn't just untouched but touch-starved. It made him want to give her everything, but he had to pace it out. He knew he couldn't overwhelm her. He shushed her as she whimpered. "It's okay, I'm gonna make you feel so good."

At that promise, he slid one long finger into her cunt. He was right, she was tight, but her abundance of wetness made it easy to slid in knuckle-deep and he bit his lip as he watched her hungry little cunt take his digit. It was so hot. Not to mention she moaned so pretty when he did it. He slowly pulled his finger out and pushed it back in, getting her used to the feeling.

"Oh my god," she moaned softly, the feeling of his single finger accompanied by Demetri's ravishing of her tits had her head a little foggy. She couldn't help the way her hips tried to wiggle and move with Hawk's movements, making him use his free hand to hold her still, which somehow made it better. "Feels nice."

"Yeah?" he asked, smirking to himself. He was proud to hear that he could pleasure her like this. Especially since it was her first time doing anything like this. So he added a second finger and it felt nice, his fingers wrapped up in her pussy. "Shit, you're so fucking tight, baby. Wanna stretch you out."

She whined as he pushed a third finger into her, the stretch a little strange. It wasn't exactly discomfort but it was a new feeling. Her cunt clenched around his fingers and she gushed with fluid, making Hawk grin wide. He leaned down and lapped up her juices, moaning at her almost sweet taste. "Fuck, you taste divine."

When he added his tongue to the mix, Reader felt lost in the pleasure. It was the most stimulation she'd ever had at one time and as his fingers thrust in and out of her tight cunt, which was being stretched out for the first time, his tongue was lapping at her pussy lips, and Demetri was squeezing and sucking on her tits, it was over for her. She came in seconds, throwing her head back as she cried out for them so pretty. Her hands twisted up the sheets and pulled on them, almost taking them off the mattress. It was such a pretty sight, Demetri and Hawk pulled away from her to watch, except Hawk finger fucked her through it, watching her squirt all over her hand and wrist and the bedsheets.

Demetri squirmed as he watched her, cock throbbing between his legs. His lips were swollen and wet from playing with her tits so much, having left them drool-covered and perky. Pre cum dripped from the tip of his cock as he couldn't take his eyes off of her. He was due for another orgasm without a doubt, but edged himself by squeezing the base of his cock.

Hawk pulled his fingers out of Reader's twitching cunt when she finished, her body tired and shaking under their gazes. She lay there for a moment, out of breath and reeling from her first orgasm ever. Her thighs were shaking the most, trembling and jiggling with the post-orgasm bliss. She smiled, eyes still closed, as she collected herself.

"I think she's done for tonight," Demetri muttered, almost sad to say it. However, neither of them were going to push her limits, and she was clearly at her end.

Hawk smirked, obviously proud of himself. "Yeah, well, I haven't gotten my dick wet yet, so come here, babe."

Demetri followed the order happily, letting Hawk take hold of him and manhandle him to hover over Reader's exhausted body. His long, hard cock slapped against her stomach, making her open her eyes and see what they were doing, further flustered to find the two preparing to fuck over her. It made her sensitive cunt clench around nothing and she whined, biting her lip.

Hawk shoved his pants down to his knees and used Reader's hot juices to prep his cock and Demetri's hole, who was moaning so pretty for him. He didn't need a lot of prep, his hole was almost always ready to take Hawk, so he closed his eyes as Hawk pushed in and didn't waste time letting him get used to the feeling of being full.

The pace was radically different than what Reader had experienced a moment ago. From under them, she watched Demetri's face as he moaned and called out Hawk's real name - Eli - while his cock rubbed against her belly. She could only stare for a moment as they grunted and groaned over her, and when she looked over Demetri's shoulder, Hawk was staring right at her. He smirked.

"This is his dirty little fantasy," he told her of Demetri. "It's all he's dreamed of since we met you, to get fucked up the ass while you watch. And get fucked while you help him get off. And so much more. Fuck, the things he wants us to do to him, and what he wants to do to you."

At hearing all of this, Reader gaped. She couldn't believe it, but after everything they just did, she had to. So, she brought her hands up to her belly and clasped them gently around Demetri's hard cock. He whined at the feeling, dropping his head to look at it. She didn't apply a lot of pressure, letting him fuck her hands, and he was mesmerized by it. It also helped him come a lot faster, not that his previous two orgasms hadn't helped in that either.

He came in large spurts, his still-heavy balls holding too much for his own good. He came all over Reader, shots of cum reaching her tits as she lay under him and his trembling body. And even though he' was coming, Hawk was still fucking him hard. Hawk pulled his hips back into his thrusts fast and hard until he, too, came a buckets worth in his boyfriend. He grunted as he finished just as Demetri was tapering off.

Hawk pulled out of Demetri and helped him lay beside Reader, thoroughly exhausted. He could barely hold his eyes open as his cock finally got a break, making Hawk laugh as he made a trip to their master bathroom to grab a few warm rags. When he returned, Demetri was mumbling about how that was some of the best sex he'd ever had, missing how Reader was dipping her finger in the cum that was pooled between her tits and eating it. She moaned and Demetri took it as a hum of agreement, mind gone after his third and final orgasm of the night, which was a lot for him.

Hawk cleaned himself up before wiping Demetri down, leaving Reader for last as she seemed to enjoy Demetri's cum as a post-sex treat. Demetri whined as his soft cock was gently wiped down and the rag was tossed aside.

"You overdid it," Hawk laughed in his ear softly and Demetri swatted him away, face scrunching up in slight annoyance. "It's true."

Once they were cleaned up enough, Hawk got a fresh rag and wiped Reader's wet thighs and sensitive pussy. She gasped and watched him. He used his tongue to lap up some of Demetri's cum off her body, making eye contact with her as he did it. Her heart beat in her chest fast and hard, but she was too tired to do anything about it.

He followed his tongue with the rag and then grabbed the comforter off the floor, throwing it over her and Demetri before crawling under it on her other side. He threw an arm over her and cuddled up to her, then grabbed Demetri and pulled him in.

Before he could doze off, Reader's sweet voice break through the haze,

"Um... does this mean I'm, like, your girlfriend?" she asked, then quickly added, "Both of your girlfriend?"

"Only if you wanna be ours," he told her, then peppered kisses on her neck. "We'd be more than happy if you were apart of our relationship."

"Mmhmm," Demetri hummed, too tired to form words. Hawk was almost scared he'd fucked him dumb.

"Oh, okay," Reader said, smiling tiredly.

As she cuddled up to each of them, Hawk was assured that she was theirs. The details could be worked out in the morning.

[silent-stories]

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐎𝐍𝐋𝐘 𝐆𝐎𝐎𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 - 𝟏

Pairing: Eddie x F!Reader

Summary: After moving to Hawkings for a fresh start, you meet a boy with kind, brown eyes who will quickly become a friend and maybe something more. The only problem is: you took something that belongs to him by accident and now you don't know what to do.

A/N: Yes, there will be more parts. No, i don't know when. I hope this start doesn't suck.

You kind of hated how you had thought moving there was a good idea. Of course, your aunt had told you that she would welcome you with open arms if you ever decided to go and live with her but she had never told you that the people there seemed to look all the same and that everyone would have stared at you in a weird way, being the only crazy person who moved there after years of no new arrivals.

Hawkins was a small midwestern town located in Roane County in the state of Indiana and it wasn't hard to tell that it wasn't a very busy or interesting place even though you were driving down the main street for the first time, heading towards the house where you were supposed to live for quite some time, if everything would have gone as it should and your aunt hadn't decided to get rid of you after a few days, like you had basically done with your parents.

You looked first on the left and then the right side of the road, while the music was still playing loudly in the vehicle, trying to figure out which way you were supposed to go, then you remembered that you had a map of the city somewhere in your pickup.

You glanced at the back seats, where there were several suitcases and a few bags full of things that you would probably never need and which were just taking up a lot of space in your car already always full of various junk.

You noticed a lamp peeking out from a bag and wondered for the second time that morning what the hell was going on in your mind.

"C'mon, where are you?" You talked to yourself, searching through the sea of ​​objects scattered on the dashboard: a concert ticket, some polaroids containing memories of a life you were leaving behind (which had fallen from the ceiling of the car where you kept at least fifty of them fixed with tacks), a horror book by an unknown writer (the school library had crossed it out because it was considered inappropriate for kids), a shoe whose match had been lost while you were packing your bags, a half-empty green spray can and no trace of the city map.

The car behind you honked: you had not moved for at least two minutes.

"I'm trying to figure out where I need to go! I'm sorry!" You shouted through the rolled down window before the car passed you and a man gave you the middle finger.

"Rude." You commented, sighing and thinking about what to do.

Did continuing to wander around the city until you found the right path make sense?

You were about to restart the pickup when you saw a boy who couldn't have been older than fourteen and a taller, blond boy wearing a green and white jacket talking to each other as they walked along the sidewalk.

You grabbed your leather jacket and got out of the car, hoping no one would complain about the inappropriate place you were leaving it. Your driving teacher was probably right when she told you you sucked at parking.

"I'll be right back Casper." You said to the thing in the passenger seat. Nobody responded.

You reached the two boys just as the blond guy took the hat off the younger one, laughing.

You didn't immediately understand what was happening.

"Sorry, do you know where I can find-"

"Hey! Give it back!" The younger one tried to grab the hat while the other laughed, raising his arm straight up so he couldn't reach it.

"Give what back?" The blond laughed.

You cleared your throat. The two turned to you suddenly.

"What do you want?" The older one asked in an annoyed tone, looking you up and down.

"I wanted to know where Piney Wood Lane was but now I don't wanna talk with you anymore. Give the hat back."

He snorted as if I had come to ruin the party. "You can never have fun with you weirdos around."

You caught it before it landed in a puddle as the blonde dropped it to the ground.

He pointed to the kid saying something like "I'm not fucking done with you" before walking away.

"What a nice guy!" You yelled after him as he turned the corner.

"As always." The younger commented.

"Is everyone like this around here? I just moved but people like him make me want to go back to where I came from." You handed the hat back to him with a half smile.

You hated people like that guy, you had never understood how anyone could take pleasure in making someone else suffer.

"Not all. Most but not all, some of my friends are really cool. Thanks for that." He put the hat back on his head, covering his short curls, on his face a grateful expression even if you didn't do much.

You found yourself wondering what these "cool friends" of his were like.

"Good to know." You sighed ironically.

“I'm Dustin, by the way.” Dustin smiled at you.

You said your name and shook his hand, you thought that you had known that kid for about five minutes and you would already do anything to protect him.

Dustin looked at the car parked behind you. “Your car is so cool!” He commented in amazement, pointing with his finger at the drawings standing out against the black background, on the side of it.

"Thanks, it's a mess but it represents me, I think."

“Wait, what is that thing sitting in the passenger seat?”

"Oh, that's Casper!"

"It's a-"

"A skeleton, yes. My biology teacher let me borrow it from his class."

Dustin looked at you questioningly.

"Okay, I stole it. But he's a great travel companion, and never complains about the music I choose."

Dustin laughed. "I swear, you would love my friends."

"And I really would like to get to know them but now, could you help me find Piney Wood Lane? I lost the map in the middle of all the shit in my car."

"Sure I can, I know that street!" The boy nodded, hoping that you could become one of his "cool friends".

That afternoon, what had become your room was already full of stuff scattered around and suitcases that you didn't feel like unpacking everywhere. The posters you would soon hang were on the desk but you had decided to leave Casper in the car for a while longer. You had put most of your clothes in the closet and packed a bag full of spray cans with the intention of going out and finding a nice wall to do your first mural in the new town.

That time you didn't have any of your friends to make sure the cops didn't come but you figured that for your first few days there, you could manage on your own.

You grabbed a book in case you found a quiet place to read: you felt safer when you went out taking a book with you, even if you weren't sure you'd find a place or time to read.

“Are you going to explore the town?” Your aunt asked with a smile as you came out of your room with your bag over your shoulder.

You couldn't help but be grateful to her, she had said she would treat you like a daughter and give you a room of your own and that was exactly what she had done. You hadn't seen her in years and you didn't know each other very well but for the moment you seemed to get along well and your relationship seemed more peaceful than the one you'd had with many people in your old hometown.

Maybe this was really a new beginning for you.

"Yeah, something like that." You tried to sound convincing.

"Okay, don't get in trouble on your first day here."

You smiled.

"Oh, I would never do that."

You jumped off the trash can you were standing on, in the alley you had chosen for your mural.

You turned the spray can in your paint-stained hands, observing the work on the wall in front of you: you liked dragons in fantasy stories, you thought it might be nice to experiment with something like that.

"Yeah, you don’t look that bad." You said to the creature painted on the wall, before noticing that the sun was starting to set and it was probably time to go home.

You put the spray cans back in your bag and threw the empty ones into the bins you climbed onto.

Then, you heard a noise.

"Please don't be a cop." You muttered to yourself, placing your bag over your shoulder and walking out of the alley.

The footsteps got closer.

"Please don't be a cop." You repeated, keeping your gaze down as you rounded the corner, hoping to escape, that way, from whoever was coming in your direction.

Of course, luck wasn't on your side, as always: you collided with the person who was coming in your direction and if they hadn't grabbed you by the arm you would have surely ended up on the ground like the rest of your stuff.

Your book, your bag, and several spray cans scattered across the ground, some rolling away from you.

"Shit." You said through your teeth, looking up to look into the eyes of the person you had collided with.

A gentle and slightly worried gaze met yours, his chocolate brown eyes watching you as if to make sure you were okay. His expression was completely different from the way the boy who was bothering Dustin had looked at you that morning.

His messy, curly hair was brown like his eyes and his slight smile was reassuring.

"Are you good?" He asked, letting go of your arm after making sure you wouldn't fall.

"Oh, thank god you're not a cop!"

“And neither are you, good for both of us.” He chuckled before helping you pick up what you had dropped. You did the same, so quickly that you didn't even realize you had put something in the bag that didn't belong to you.

"I'm fine." You grabbed the spray can he was holding out to you, your fingers grazed his, adorned with chunky silver rings, and the action made you feel a weird sensation that you couldn't identify and that only lasted a few seconds in your stomach, “thank you.”

"It's a pleasure. It's always nice to help pretty girls break the law." He chuckled.

"I wasn't breaking any laws." You rolled your eyes, aware that you both knew you were lying, almost without realizing that he had called you pretty.

"Then why did you hope I wasn't a cop?"

"Maybe I just think they're not nice."

"Well, believe me, I've been arrested several times and I can guarantee you that most of them aren't."

You raised your eyebrows. "You've been arrested several times? What the hell did you do?"

"You really don't wanna know."

“Okay mystery man,” You rolled your eyes, the boy laughed at the nickname and you immediately liked the sound of it, then you held out your hand, introducing yourself.

He shook it and you felt that feeling in your stomach again but decided to ignore it, “Eddie.”

"Okay Eddie, are you good at giving an unbiased opinion on a mural done in an alley while standing on garbage bins?" You asked and without even waiting for an answer you started pushing him towards the dragon on the wall.

Usually you didn't need random strangers' opinions on your street art but this time you felt like you wanted to spend more time with that metal singer looking guy with the sweetest eyes you'd ever seen. And also, he wasn't a stranger anymore, he was Eddie.

“Oh sure, I was born for that.” He stated confidently.

Your laughter echoed down the alley as you reached the mural.

"There we go. Now you are an accessory to the crime."

"Well, in reality.... I didn't do anything. I'm just an innocent witness."

"You have paint on your hands."

"I don't-" He looked at his palms and realized you had stained one of his hands with green paint when you held it. "Oh, fuck you."

You laughed. "So? What do you think?"

“I think it's worthy of being on the cover of a metal album, it's amazing, really.”

"Well, thanks. For now it will stay on the wall of a dark alley."

"Really, that's so fucking cool. You should do this as a job or something like that."

"Well, I'm still in high school and I'm looking for someone who needs a babysitter to earn some money so... not yet, I guess."

"Well then I guess we'll meet there."

“Are you still in high school?”

Eddie sighed, as if expecting a joke on that.

"Hey, we don't judge people here. What do you expect from a girl who's spending her Sunday afternoon with a stranger chatting in front of some garbage cans?"

"I expect her to be cool as hell. And well-" He paused, as if thinking about it carefully, "I think she is."

You couldn't help but laugh again.

When you got home you still had a stupid smile on your face. You liked Eddie, you liked the way he made you feel like you didn't have to pretend to be someone else around him, you liked the way he called you "pretty" five more times that afternoon, you liked the way his eyes lit up when he talked about music, you liked the way he kindly asked you if he could walk you home since the sky was getting dark and he didn't want anything bad to happen to you, you liked the sound of his laughter and the way he tried to hide the blush on his cheeks when you told him that your opinion on Hawkings had become better after you met him.

"Why are you smiling like that?" Your aunt asked you when you entered the house.

"I met a boy."

She smirked.

"Don't look at me with that face, I just met him. He was just being nice."

"Mh-mh sure." She laughed as you rolled your eyes and walked into your room, leaving your bag on the bed.

When you unzipped it, something inside caught your attention: a small, brown leather-covered notebook you'd never seen before.

Your first thought was how the hell did he end up in there, then you remembered your clash with Eddie a few hours earlier. Was it possible that you had taken it without realizing it?

You got under the covers with the notebook in your hands. It was small but the pages were so many and so thin that someone could have started writing in it years before and still not filled it all.

You knew you shouldn't have done it, it might have contained private things, but you couldn't resist.

You opened it.

As soon as you did, a black and white photo of a girl with dark hair and a sun dress fell off the first page.

She was smiling and she was really pretty, you wondered who she could be. In the background you could see a garden and the sun shining in the sky.

It was wrinkled as if someone had held it in their hands for a long time.

Then, you read the first lines of the first page of the notebook. The writing was messy but legible, some words had been crossed out and rewritten probably due to some grammatical error or unclear thoughts.

"I realized that I almost don't remember her anymore and that's the thing that scares me the most. I don't want to forget her."

You couldn't help but wonder how you could feel the pain in those words simply by reading them in an old, crumpled notebook.

Tags: @jacklesbrainworms @morning-sky7 @pipsqueakkitten @navs-bhat @michaelfuckinglangdon @flawiette @needylilgal022 @bubsonnobx @yujyujj @findmeincorneliastreet @kennedy-brooke @witchwolflea

[fairyhaos]

how seventeen act with their spontaneous s/o

requested by anon: hi i’m so glad that you’ve opened your requests again i really like your works!💟💟 can i request svt with a partner who has a really loud and messy personality/lifestyle and like very random w their actions(?) i hope that makes sense 😭😭😭

notes: this is such a cute idea omg

masterlist

seungcheol

lowkey makes him a little worried to see you running around and finding so many new things that interest you and leaving so many things around you in your wake. he's concerned that you're doing too much and you'll burn yourself out. but after several conversations, you reassure him that it's all okay, and now he just laughs, endeared, as you rattle off all the new facts about birds that you found out. doesn't really understand the entire idea of spontaneous trips, though. agrees to come with you when you wanna take a sudden trip all the way to jeju, but on the flight he plans exactly how long you're gonna be staying there and exactly what you're gonna do

jeonghan

on no less than fifteen occasions, you've managed to startle jeonghan awake because you yelped too loudly or jostled the bed too much in your haste to get up because of something or other. and that was saying something, because jeonghan was a decently deep sleeper. supports you in all the weird hobbies you suddenly wanna pick up, watches in interest as you water your plants diligently for an entire month before suddenly gaining a new fixation. (he's looking after your potted plants rn btw.) won't go on spontaneous trips with you, tho. sit down and think about what you wanna do first, then he'll join in

joshua

you've gone on many a spontaneous trip with joshua bc a) he can never refuse you and b) he's often as impulsive as you when it comes to these things. sometimes they go well, sometimes they don't, but he's there to laugh with you and calmly navigates the situation,  so that in the end your memories of the trip won't be all negative. thinks the sudden noises you make are really really cute. laughs when he thinks one is particularly funny, and loves to imitate them until you're rolling your eyes and pinching him on the shoulder for being annoying. his mischief backfires on him tho, bc now he sometimes unironically makes those very same noises

junhui

LOVEESSSSS it so much. you're so cute!! so vivid and happy and smiley and you look so lovely when you're gesturing animatedly and it makes him blush a little bc you??? are in love with him???? that's actually insane. he loves the little noises you make whenever you remember something, bump into something, successfully complete a task, anything. giggles into his hand and looks at you with stars in his eyes every time. not as much of a big fan of spontaneous outings (it makes him nervous) but he's always there to support you when you suddenly wanna know how to finger knit

hoshi

he's your energizer, and you're his energizer too. your bright, bubbly nature has most definitely helped him out of a slump where he wasn't feeling himself on countless occasions, and he very seriously tells people that he wouldn't be where he is right now if it wasn't because of you. yelps in surprise when you suddenly exclaim loudly, which in turns makes you yelp even louder in shock and it carries on back and forth between you two before one or both of your dissolve into giggles. loves you with his entire being. your brightness, your vivid nature and the way you never fail to make him smile means that he's staying by your side till the end of time

wonwoo

you two work, like, perfectly together. your spontaneity has led him to experience things he's ended up adoring, and allows him to get out of his room and actually into the real world. he loves it a lot. he'll jokingly complain to junhui and hoshi that you're always so messy and he's having to pick up your things after you, but he really likes it. you live so vividly, and he can practically see you living your life everywhere he turns—from your socks next to his table, your unfinished mug of tea balanced precariously on his couch arm rest, to every other possession of yours that has somehow managed to find itself lost in his living room. it's nice. it makes him feel a part of the brilliant, colourful life you lead. 

woozi

pretends to roll his eyes and tsk at the random things you keep leaving in his studio, but he always makes sure to stack your sweaters and the blankets you leave into a neat pile so you can pick them up when you return. literally thinks you're the loveliest, sunniest person in the entire world, and that's saying something because he knows seokmin. but for him, there is nothing sunnier than your infectious laughter over the new, weird ideas you get and the way your eyes twinkle and then soften when they land on him. it's the most beautiful thing in the world. 

minghao

it makes him a little dizzy, actually, how quickly you can jump from one thought to another, but he thinks it's endearing. he'll never say it out loud, of course, and more often than not, people will be able to hear him berating you for talking to quickly, telling you to take a breath and calm down for a moment. but your spontaneity, your vividness is accompanied by endless optimism, and minghao adores seeing you smile. he comes with you on any sudden trips you decide to make, and he's the one who makes sure you actually get to where you want to go, and get to do all the things you actually want to do. he's like a gentle enabler, of sorts. 

mingyu

is patiently trying to teach you how to clean up after yourself. it's not working tho, bc he's Forgetful and only remembers every other month, so when he tries to get you to clean your room it basically turns into an entire spring cleaning session, and you despise it so much that you vow never to clean it again. looks at you weirdly every time you come to him with a new hobby you're into, but he genuinely cried when you knitted him a sweater for his birthday last year. goes with you on all the trips you want. you're gonna have to book something other than budget flights tho bc last time he went on one, his knees were basically squished to his chest the entire flight

dokyeom

you're!!! just like him!!!! he gets you so bad. you finish each other's sentences. you go off on tangents that apparently you both get instantly. you guys can talk together for hours and never get bored. he adores you so, so much. thinks you're the funniest person ever. he's adopted mannerisms bc you have them, and you've adopted mannerisms bc he has then too. also, though, your house is kind of a mess? minghao cries every time he steps through the front door, but it's an organized mess, xu minghao, we know where everything is! (you don't. just last week you declared your last pair of white socks lost to the void forever.) 

seungkwan

you may or may not have given him mini heart attacks several times whenever you suddenly cry out as a new thought comes to you, bc he literally thinks you're being attacked or something. puts a hand to his chest while he pats your head with the other hand, telling you not to scare him like that. still thinks it's cute, though. keeps all the watercolour paintings you made from this one time that you were fixated on the art form, looks over at them fondly and treats them as if they're national treasures. gently pokes your cheek and smiles at you to get you to focus back in on a conversation when he sees you zoning out while his friends ramble on around you

vernon

you're like an excitable puppy, and vernon is like your endeared, chill owner. he lets you do literally anything you want. cheers you on with basically everything you do. looks at you mystified whenever you randomly make finger guns at him while reciting your flashcards for revision, but hesitantly makes finger guns back, and it always makes you laugh. doesn't go on your spontaneous outings with you tho, bc one time he agreed to go to a roller rink bc you really wanted to go to one at that evening and he accidentally managed to get himself drugged and had a mild concussion after. makes you go with either josh or cheol and has you text him every hour bc he wants to make sure that you're okay

chan

goes along with literally everything you do. joins in on any random hobbies you pick up. awwed and ahhed over your new helix piercing when you spontaneously decided to get one, and then held you in the night when it grew too painful for you to lie down on. stares at you in surprise whenever you make a weird noise with a weird gesture, before promptly making the same gesture that you had and amplifying the noise 10x so that you end up laughing and punching him lightly on the arm. tells you very sincerely, when you have worries about not knowing what you're doing with your life, that it's okay not to know, as long as you're having fun just like you are right now. 

request guidelines

reactions tags: @jeonginssa @magicaltonaru @weird-bookworm @minhui896 @turningcarat @zarara @bunnyiix @slytherinshua @haowrld @belladaises @summery-bat @newgirlygirl @moonlitskiiies @ejspencer14 @mirxzii @wonranghaeee @saythename-chess @yonabutnotyuna @youthoughtiwasfeelingyou @crackedpumpkin @wqnwoos @sunshinekyeom-sang @ocyeanicc @zozojella @thesmellofcoffeeandrain @kthstrawberryshortcake-main @kawennote09 @a-wandering-stay @icyminghao @nananacomeonnnn @valenhui @sweet-like-caramel @hansolaria @gam3bo1z @marisblogg @evasaysstuff @odxrilove @kyeomyun @chansburgah @pepperonijem @jeonride @kellesvt @butiluvu @hanniehaee @sakufilms @immabecreepin @astrozuya

[x-liv25-jamieswife]

unpopular(ish) tig opinions/mostly just me ranting

a few people have done this so here are mine (also just me ranting)

this one isn't super controversial but i don't really like alisa. she's nice and all, but the way she treats libby is just so weird to me and i can't bring myself to love her.

most people in this fandom are grayson stans but my fav is jameson. i love grayson, don't get me wrong, but i feel like his character is sort of overdone. i mean, almost all love interests nowadays are moody, broody, i never smile except when im with you. im happy avery ended up with jamie not just cause they fit together, but bc, for once, the love interest isn't the broody type (like i said, love grayson dont hate me)

i commented this under a post, and i don't think this is super unpopular but im lyra neutral. i literally cannot love a character unless i know them (i dont hate her either, i just don't have an opinion)

ok, this one might get me some hate, but, although grayson had the right to be mad in tig bc avery inherited the money, i do think he did go too far sometimes. there's this one time, where he was just unnecessarily rude to avery, telling her she didn't know what it was like to suffer (midway through to book, don't remember the chapter but its there and it makes no sense bc she grew up with no money while this dude is a privileged white man, like all of his brothers (except for xander cause he isn't white)). like i said, he had the right to be mad, but avery did nothing to him, and, so, he had no right to say some of the things he said to her. he does get better, and he does apologize (i think, but even if he doesn't idc cause hes nice to her now). like i said, he had the right to be mad cause i mean he did grow up thinking he'd inherit and he didn't, but he shouldn't have taken out all of his anger on her. he had the right to doubt her and think she had ulterior motives, but he had no right to accuse her of being a gold digger when she had done NOTHING to gray for him think that (dont take this as me not liking gray, he's one of my fav characters ever (but no one beats jamie (and nash)))

idk if this one will make sense and ik some people will agree with me if this does, but the way avery is treated in this fandom is really shitty. she's pretty much only mentioned when people are talking about the love triangle. she's bashed bc she didn't choose grayson (which she had the right to bc jamie was made for her and gray wasn't), her trauma is super overlooked. i wish people would pay more attention to her. also, i mentioned this earlier, but some people (not many but some) let other people (like gray and thea) get away will at the mean things they said to avery bc they're their favorite characters. (obviously, they can be your fav characters. my best friend's fav character is gray, and, when i first read the books, i liked gray over jamie for a small period of time, but its wrong to let them get away things just bc you like them.

people will agree with me, but jameson and grayson's trauma should NOT be compared. trauma is trauma no matter how "bad" it is (note the quotation marks around bad). ive mostly seen people compare jamie to gray saying that gray's trauma is worse which is so fucking mean. they both have trauma. they both have it bad. no one should be comparing. i will make a longer post about this bc this is smth i'm very passionate about and it pisses me off. (ive lost count of the amount of times ive compared my trauma to others thinking i had no right to complain bc others had it worse, so don't do it to fictional characters plsss)

the tiktok/insta fandom sucks. the amount of averygrayson shippers ive seen bash avery on those platforms is too much. the only healthy part of the fandom is on tumblr.

not controversial but thea is not a girl boss, she's just a mean girl. she's not iconic.

people should not bash people for their favorite characters. i've seen this mostly on older posts (like before tfg was released) but some people will go 'xander's my fav' or 'avery's my fav' and people in the comments would go 'but grayson exists' or 'but jameson exists'. let people like who they want to like. all characters are great (mostly, i hate thea and all of the bad guys).

i couldn't care less about eve's redemption arc. she ruined toby's life, and as someone who loves toby and avery's father-daughter dynamic, i will never forgive her. she also treated grayson horribly, basically got alisa kidnapped (cause alisa wouldn't have gotten kidnapped if eve hadn't gotten toby kidnapped), and more so if she ever does get a redemption arc, i will be throwing hands.

if i see people complaining about lyra's character when tgg comes out bc 'they were expecting someone different' i will be pissed. im sure lyra will be great (hopefully). it doesn't matter if she's a girl boss or more like rebecca.

grayson is not 'the most misunderstood character in the fandom'. he's literally the most popular character. people are constantly gushing about him and his trauma. other characters like avery, jameson, and xander (and others) are so much more misunderstood. no ones takes the time to understand them like they do with grayson. people are constantly talking about his trauma, and how people shouldn't hate him bc he's 'misunderstood'. people have the right to hate him, and his trauma isn't overlooked as the fandom's most popular character. he is a complex character, and i will be making in depth posts about him bc i find him interesting and i really like his character, but he's the most understood character in the fandom. i've noticed that people tend to say he's misunderstood right after coming up with the most nonsensical take defending all of his actions saying that he has trauma (trauma is not an excuse its an explanation)

even if grayson would've gotten up to help avery after the bombing 1. he would've never gotten there on time and 2. he might have gotten more hurt.

i said this earlier while talking about gray but trauma is not an excuse its an explanation. do with that what you will. i just have to repeat it.

people who claim jameson was not affected by emily are the bane of my existence (yes, they exist, i've seen them)

ik i mentioned gray a lot in this and it might seem like i don't like him, but i swear i LOVE him. i find his character very interesting and complex and i really wanna analyze his character once i'm done rereading. i just hate toxic grayson stans (most of yall aren't, but they exist)

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I were to report my ex friend's antisemitism to their university?

So I 20nb have been friends with most my current friend group since we were 11. Two years ago I stopped being friends with a guy in my friend group due to toxic behavior on his part (not antisemitic yet, just giving background info) He would constantly say things like "don't make fun of neurodivergent people's special interests and hyperfixations as they can't help it" and then would go and make fun of my special interests (note: said ex friend has ADHD). Over our friendship he had a lot of double standards like that and one day I had enough. The first time I brought it up he dismissed it as someone else in the friend group did the behaviors I'm accusing him of. I kinda dropped it as I didn't want to deal with that level of denial and thought that if I waited a few days he would have had some time to reflect. So I brought it up again and he continued to blame it being one of our other friends doing it and that I was simply "misremembering". I gave specific examples and rough time frames yet he continued to deny it. All I wanted was a simple "I'm sorry and I will work on that" yet he refused to do that. So I ended our friendship.

Since then we have been on rocky terms. We are still in the same friend group since the issue was between me and him, I didn't want to involve my friends and make people pick sides. He was moving away soon at the time of the end of our friendship so it wasn't like I was going to see him when the friend group all hung our together.

Since we are still in the same friend group, he is in the discord server our friend group has which is just like a massive group chat with things categorized into topics.

Recently there is the current conflict going on in Israel and Palenstine. I am Jewish and vented to the vent section of that discord server about how I have seen people I know irl post online antisemitic things. I am very much against Israels actions and made sure to include that in my vent so no one coukd twist my words. I didn't initially say exactly what I was seeing as I was still processing the fact that I was going to have to cut some people off.

He then replied to my vent saying that he has never seen anything antisemitic online and that if he has, he has seen Jewish people saying that it isnt. I replied that his reply to my vent was weird and that i was talking about people saying that all jews should die. I felt hurt as yet again he was being hypocritical towards me as he has said before that you should say that (what he said) when people complain about seeing hateful things towards a group (eg racism, homophobia, etc).

He then responded that I was only calling him antisemitic because he was arab. The thing is, I never called him antisemitic and I myself am also arab. (Yes I know, most people have never met an arab jew but we do exist).

I pointed out that I never called him antisemitic and I am also arab which he seems to have forgotten. I said that his response was still weird considering what he has said in the past about people who say what he said. I then invited him to dm me privately to discuss things further if he wants to as it's not fair to do this in front of all of our friends.

He did not respond and ended up blocking me on discord.

This irked me quite a bit but in the end I decided that him blocking me was for the better if he stands by his original response. I was talking to my partner about it who is not Jewish and he said that my ex friend's response was definitely weird and the fact that he was so quick to defend himself about being called an antisemite without even being called it was indicative that he probably is. I decided to look at my ex friends tumblr to see if there was anything to suggest that and there was. I saw a few posts which he has recently reblogged which used anti Semitic dog whistles like the echo, example: (((insert text you which doesnt say jew but you are implying jewish people are))).

I was quite appalled to see that and am debating if I should send it to his university. The university he attends has spoken out about antisemitism before and has kicked out people in the past for using racist dog whistles due to a potential danger to POC students so it is likely that he would get kicked out for using antisemitic dog whistles.

In my mind, he fucked around and therefore should find out aka face natural consequences for his actions.

WIBTA if I contacted his University about his antisemitism?

What are these acronyms?

[menlove]

What do you think actually happened between John and Paul that caused John to become so bitter and vindictive towards Paul? If I remember correctly, the prevailing theory of John being rejected by Paul was actually conceived to retroactively 'explain ' John's behavior because otherwise it seems inexplicable why he would turn on so completely on the person who had been arguably his closest friend, if not lover. However, it's evident from Paul's lyrics and interview to Hunter Davies that he is entirely confused and hurt by John's behavior. Like he even complains everyone always looks to him for blame but nobody sees how much he was hurt by John. I'm not trying to take any sides here of course, both John and Paul had their faults and issues which complicated their relationship but genuinely curious to hear what your theory is.

honestly? bpd. like I barely even think of it as a theory, although ofc it is, bc sooooo many people agree that john could have Easily been diagnosed w bpd

like there's a thing called splitting w bpd where you just. like on a Dime you can't stand someone. and this can be very brief (I've split on people and it lasted like an hour) or permanent but it's very common. like you go every quickly from idealization to demonization of a person. or complete apathy (which is my personal kryptonite rip)

not only that but there's quite a few paul quotes where he talks about the fact that john started "slagging him off" as a way to distance himself from paul/the beatles and sort of "prove" to yoko that he was entirely devoted to her. which also makes sense to me as a bpd cunt bc I've unfortunately done that too 😭 and it's not necessarily an act either, it's just like.......... your brain can't make room for the way you feel for a New Person and an Old Person so you start analyzing everything that Old Person did and finding every flaw and magnifying it and blowing it up until you start feeling bitter or angry and suddenly in your mind someone that was once your world is like. some kind of villain out of a storybook.

and this is very very difficult to deal with and he wasn't really........ getting any help or outside people telling him that his view of paul/the beatles was being distorted. yoko was also pretty paranoid & from several sources encouraged his bitterness/paranoia (which isn't a dunk on her- I'm just a firm believer that she was a Complicated Person and villifying OR deifying is just weird and racist). not to Mention the scream therapy stuff, where I'm Pretty sure he himself has even said he was encouraged to pick apart his life and relationships and find Issues.

so you've got someone whose brain is already a goddamn game of mouse trap telling him that if he's not w paul/the beatles anymore he Has to hate him, surrounded by people encouraging that line of thought, and hounded by media asking him about it and pitting him against paul

and with that in mind, I do think it was also a bit exaggerated by the media. it was definitely encouraged, that's for sure. but even if john didn't Hate Paul, that's how it would be portrayed bc it made a more dramatic and interesting story. they'd ask him (and paul) leading questions to get the most material.

I honestly don't find it inexplicable that he'd turn on him without a "reason" so maybe my own mouse trap of a brain is part of why I disagree so much w that dominant narrative of rejection to explain it 😭 bc for me and many other bpd cunts I know it's just. it could Literally be nothing. often it's just a SENSE of rejection that will cause a split. and I'm willing to bet that their growing distance, paul pushing the band harder to work after brian died, paul not really accepting yoko and johnandyoko, the possible dying out of a sexual aspect of their relationship, paul proposing to jane & later getting with/marrying linda, paul Accepting john's ask for a divorce, paul going out and making an album on his own....... well. it's a perfect storm for my fellow bpd bitch to go "well fuck him I never loved him that guy fucking sucks and whatever he does doesn't hurt me anyway bc I don't care At All he's just the absolute worst and I can't stand him"

which of course had to be whiplash for paul. from his pov it was genuinely out of nowhere. but I will say all his comments about it and john needing to put him/the beatles aside for yoko and just..... all his quotes around john's mental health seem to be very VERY aware of all this. he knew john better than anyone & his main confusion seems to be around whether or not john ever actually loved or even liked him. which is an understandable emotional reaction. I think, though, he does show a deep understanding of john when he talks about all of this which makes me soooo :(

[s1m0nth3swag]

Gotta yap about my Dead boy boyfriends sorry chat

Like

I physically need to talk about them but my friends haven't watched the show yet (WATCH IT OTS SO GREAT AAHHHHH)

Some short imagines/ short scenario type of stuff? Idk

Not proofread (atp I don't know what that word means ngl I never proofread my studf)

It is currently 11pm for me, I am tired, this probably sucks but I do not care actually

☆ Imagine meeting the two for the first time and you genuinely cannot speak because they're both a little too gorgeous, I mean, Edwin slays his outfit and Charles has the biggest brown eyes. Pretty boys fr

★ I just think that, if you're another ghost, Edwin would like you more at first, if you're alive, Charles would (because of the whole Charles hates being dead thing and Edwin doesn't like being around the living)

☆ In this scenario, let's play with you being alive and (mostly) well. Involved in one of their cases, maybe, or you went into Jennys shop to get meat or something (if you don't eat meat pretend you're cooking a meal for a friend or something)

★ Probably immediately you kinda notice a strange aura (totally not Charles staring you down because he's never seen someone as cool and swag as you) - and let's be honest you aren't even surprised when you meet Crystal and she's looking at the corner all weird.

☆ meeting them again however, you probably just had some near death experience (maybe you wandered into a haunted house, or you somehow got involved in the whole Esther business) and you probably don't even care that ghosts exist because yeah, kinda checks out

★ Charles is probably immediately on your heel (Edwin is just the tiniest bit jealous) asking you all sorts of questions (Edwin is just the tiniest bit interested as well)

☆ getting to know them better, Edwin finds he quite likes yapping about cases with you (my autistic ghost boy needs someone that ACTUALLY listens to what he says) he will be overjoyed if he starts talking about a case and you go "Oh wasn't that the one where.." because yes!! It was that case! You remembered!! Good job!!!

★ I feel like the whole relationship would come along naturally at some point. Just you complaining how you can't sleep because your pillow is too warm and both of them offering to stay with you since ghosts are pretty cold

☆ they have the mutual agreement that they're somewhat sharing your affection since you give both of them the same. They'll just have conversations like "did you already tell them [...]" and "Oh, yeah I did could you do [...] for them?" Already being fully in the mindset of 'we can and will make this work with three people'

★ I think Charles would actually have a more difficult time when the relationship officially starts though. He just has so much affection for you and Edwin that he's almost bursting, but Edwin doesn't always like touch so he has ti be careful and look for the signs and you actually have to keep yourself up and cared for instead of being able to cuddle 24/7

☆ Just a silly boy struggling with not kissing and hugging both his partners at all times (though he has two hands, and will be the middle part whenever the three of you walk somewhere.)

☆ Edwin is more a acts of service type of guy while Charles, obviously, is big on physical touch, so whenever Charles holds you back from doing laundry or the dishes, Edwin will do it for you so you can chill out

★ doesn't mean you don't do things for the boys, though. You regularly get books for Edwin (which he's happier about that he shows) and always give Charles the chance to talk to you without any judgement (same goes for Edwin, though he doesn't use that offer as often as Charles)

☆ Imagine Charles rescuing Edwin from hell and that night the three cuddle up with each other even though Edwin and Charles don't sleep, just so you can hold both of them to make sure they're still there and well

[yois2aki]

੭୧ chishiya with a reader who likes gift giving... . ۫

chishiya shuntaro x gn!reader (requested)

— warnings: fluff, ooc chishiya, beach arc, love confession, shy chishiya ohhh....

— summary: your gift giving and weird fact telling habit seemed to catch chishiya's attention. that was until it got too much to him.

— word count: 1.3k

people could tell you had a habit of collecting things that caught your interest in the most random occurrences. the motive had never been elucidated, as you wouldn't mind the others staring.

coming home from games tired and exhausted was part of your weekly routine. sometimes, you would refuse to take the car back to the beach just to breathe some air and later walk back by yourself.

it was unusual for you to come back empty-handed. during your time in the borderlands, you found out that gift giving was a pretty easy way for you to show your affection towards others. and even though sometimes you'd look at a pretty rock and mention it to kuina, or tell mira a random fact you heard about some time back in the real world, nothing compared to the surprises you'd prepare, chishiya.

you have noticed, way before even getting close to him, that he does not seem to get fazed by anything. if he complimented you, that'd be a reason for your sleep to be slightly better than the other nights.

knowing that about him, you made it your daily goal to try and steal a reaction from him. from the littlest things, like telling him all about how you learned that cheetahs don't roar but instead meow and purr. to more thoughtful stuff, like gifting him a personally handmade butterfly origami you spent an hour trying to figure out.

chishiya didn't understand the point of all this effort you took to catch him by surprise. why you were so devoted to making him seem happier. he had lost interest in life a long time ago. so why did he look forward to your every day's information?

"it's for you," you said, handing him a roughly made bouquet of red, white, and yellow flowers you plucked from a garden. "i don't have a place to keep them, and you seem like a much more responsible person for treating flowers."

chishiya knew that wasn't the real reasoning behind it, since your little presents and surprises every day had already become something he expected. he took the poorly made bouquet in his hands, which didn't really look like a bouquet, just a bunch of flowers gathered around.

he kept his eyes on them for a while, almost becoming philosophical from looking at them. he seemed to recognize this kind of plant; however, his memory betrayed him.

"these flowers are called chrysanthemus," you started, biting your lip in apprehension, in case he thought the idea of gifting him a bouquet was stupid. "or simply mums, or chrysanths."

chishiya didn't really know what to say. every single gift you had given him so far were simple things he found amusing but didn't pay much attention to. however, for some reason, being gifted a bouquet seemed to make his heart throb a little faster. he couldn't help but imagine the scenario in his head. you, contently plucking the flowers out of their natural spot and wrapping them together, thinking of him while doing so.

if he were with you at that moment, he probably wouldn't have minded it as much as he does now. instead complaining about the fact you're disturbing the eco system and urging you to leave the plants be. but he couldn't bring himself to be upset with you right now, not while you were so shyly giving him a bouquet of flowers.

"did you know these are native to east asia?" you commented, and he started listening intently. "however, the center of diversity is in china. i was quite lucky to find them."

chishiya felt like he should say something. perhaps a snarky remark on how you really gave yourself the need to study flowers well enough to recognize them, or maybe a lighter response like a simple thank you and a smile. but no coherent sentences could be formed in his mind, let alone out of his mouth.

at this point, he felt like even the flowers were judging him, given how silent the whole room felt. chishiya knew of the habit of giving others plants, obviously, but he had never even been on the giving end. how was he supposed to react to the receiving one?

it's necessary to mention that he also felt foolish. normally, it's the more serious person on both ends that gives the bouquet, as a way to show their appreciation towards the other if the physical touch or the words of affirmation are too tough. not the other way around.

"i also heard that the white variant of this species means truth, the yellow one means slighted love, and the red one means—" you suddenly stopped your words, your eyes opening like you had just seen a ghost, your line of thinking interrupting itself without your demanding.

"chishiya," you couldn't help but stand still, trying to make sure what you were seeing was true. the rosy tint present on his cheeks is getting more perceptible by the second. "are you blushing?"

he could only turn his head to the side in an attempt to avoid your attention. if he had the ability to sense others's feelings, he would be certain of the biggest smile on your face without even looking. this was definitely the largest process you had made so far, ever since you started this habit of yours. pride filled your chest as you finally realized you were the one capable of teasing him and getting revenge for all the times he made you feel like an idiot.

"why are you so shy?" you asked with a present smirk on your face. your voice alone was a sign you were smiling, not going easy on the teasing. "it's just flowers; have you never been given some?"

"shut up." chishiya managed to mumble out, seemingly not caring about whether you heard it or not.

he turned around, still with the flowers in hand, standing in an awkward position as he tried to remember who he even was and what he was doing here. he suddenly stared at an empty jar on his desk, his movements returning to usual as he seemed to have calmed down a bit, away from your gaze.

"hey!" you scurried after him, the smile unable to leave your face as your mind repeated the image of chishiya shuntaro speechless for once. "i wasn't done; don't run away!"

he ignored your protests, grabbing the handle with strength and almost kicking the bathroom door open, seemingly using anger to cope with the embarrassment he just presented you with. you could only imagine what was going on inside his mind. probably a ton of insulting words running towards him for looking like an idiot once in his life.

he filled the jar with water to a certain point, shoving the flowers inside it, and left the bathroom as he threw the item back on his desk.

"there you go," he began. back to that sharp tone of voice he normally uses, he still refused to turn around and look at you. "your plants are safe and sound."

"you still shouldn't have plucked them out of a garden." he sourly informed. you wondered if he was trying to save the littlest bit of dignity he had left on his soul; unfortunately, you were feeling quite mean that night.

"they were so pretty, though!" you whined out, your hands sitting at your hips. "oh, by the way..."

"the red variant of the chrysanths means i love you." you said with that devious voice again. the only thing that changed in chishiya's posture was the red tint of the flowers, now matching the color present on the tips of his ears.

— n/a: KANDKSJFKEJFNSJDN THIS WAS SO CUTEEEE!! i love writing shy chishiya or stupid chishiya in love he's such a loser....... (i say about a man who's 13 times smarter than me) :cc it's quite sad i have to get a bit outside his character to make it better but i still loved writing this. i hope you guys like it as much!!!

[catnippackets]

My sister in law and I once had a very deep chat where she told me she's a bit jealous of how I'm "capable" of obsessing over interests; I got the feeling that to her it seemed like a specific type of joy she would never really know. In turn, I told her that even though I sometimes wish it had an off switch, I rlly can't imagine a version of myself thay doesn't get joyfully hyperfixated on things, since it's so intrinsic to my personality/neuro-chemistry.

Anyways, I totally relate to that feeling of detached embarrassment, but it was eye-opening to talk abt it with her and see that A) some people really admire the capacity for such "passion" and B) some people genuinely just can't have that experience, which seems both unthinkable and obvious lol

I genuinely can't imagine a life like that for myself either. I've gone through periods of time before where I wasn't hyperfixated on something and genuinely I felt like...deeply empty the entire time. As soon as something new entered my life to fixate on I felt like myself again. I definitely have interests and hobbies that I enjoy in a very normal non-obsessive way but it feels so different and they don't feel like...sustainable. like I'm just living off of bread and milk. idk how else to phrase that. because the things I always hyperfixate on are tv shows and fictional characters I kind of just assumed it came with the territory of being an artist, cuz as a creator it's like...this is what I'm meant to do with my life, right? I know I'm supposed to be telling stories and creating characters and exploring concepts through fiction so it makes perfect sense that I'm depressed without any source of inspiration or rejuvenation. Cuz it's inspiring as hell to be hyperfixated on something!! it gives me endless energy and inspiration to create and that makes me feel amazing.

most of my friends are ND too but I know some of them aren't the same as me in this regard and they've even expressed similar jealousy that they're not someone who obsesses over things. it's both understandable and so weird to me cuz obviously you can't pick and choose what your brain is gonna latch on to but like...you haven't even had ONE time in your life where you spent years only thinking about one thing? not even once? that's unfathomable to me, that's like my entire life.

and while I definitely do not enjoy the embarrassment of having feelings and how upsetting it can be to constantly be distracted from real life tasks that take priority and also feeling self conscious and wondering if I even have a personality sometimes beyond my fave video games/shows/movies, I'm really glad that I'm someone who can experience it cuz it really does feel like I'm just sitting around and waiting if I don't have a story to think about all the time. sometimes I hear people talk about how stressful and sad it is that they feel so deeply and I'm like yeah I mean sometimes but like...what about the joy. what about all the love. there's nothing sad about it! embarrassing sometimes yeah but that's worth it if it means I get to be so deeply happy and excited! I'll complain from time to time but never in a THOUSAND years would I ever want to change this about myself. I will take all the embarrassing annoying feelings if it means I get to experience pure wild autistic joy haha

[lazyneonrabbitt]

Shared Interests [Pt.3]

Daryl Dixon x Reader [Pt.1][Pt.2] [Pt.4]

Daryl's pack loves parties, so you agree to throw one in honor of your daughter.

While you loved having the pack around for celebrations, now was a little too early.

Baby Lily was born all but two days ago and the family members started trickling in already to bring gifts and talk about the big party to celebrate the little one.

Right now all you wanted was rest.

You had allowed the calmest pack mother to come help around the house and teach you about taking care of an infant werewolf, which Daryl also found very helpful seeing he had no clue on how to be a father.

You learned their feeding habits were different from human babies and were shown how the little one easily chowed down small pieces of meat at only a few days old.

Daryl's pack had proven to be a persistant bunch, each member coming over to drop off gifts ranging from full ready meals to toys for the pup. One of Daryl's cousins, the one who had built the crib you had now, had offered to build a kiddie bed too. "for when the kid got too big for her crib."

It was still weird to be so welcomed from day one. Even while being the odd one out you were immediately seen as a part of the pack.

So here you sat with Daryl, discussing when to give the pack their party. It was a tradition and you weren't going to withold them from celebrating. You just had to set some ground rules.

You blessed the weather being nice enough to celebrate outside and planned all the necessary things in record time.

Daryl suggested two weeks would be enough for everyone to have dropped by for their initial visit so the focus could be more on getting together instead of hovering around the newborn.

Laura, your cousin in-law slash house help told you pack stories of herself and other mothers.

Surrounded by their closest pack members even while the pups were being born. All the ladies had seem multiple litters being born because of how normal it was to share those moments. But she also knew Daryl wasn't one of the people who needed folk around him every day. After admitting on one hand she found it sad to not be there when your child was born, she also understood you were human and had other preferences. Besides the fact that your pup came unexpected, a few days early and in the middle of the night.

Two weeks of slow visitation and party prep passed and you had fallen into a pleasant routine around the pup that worked for both you and Daryl. But you started noticing the leftover benefits from carying a wolf pup were fading because the bitemarks left around your nipples weren't healing as quickly anymore.

Daryl had caught your discomfort and made quick work of cornering you for a chat.

"Yer mind's loud. Hear it buzzin' through the walls." You were captured between his frame and the kitchen counter, unable to escape and admit your annoyingly loud thoughts.

"I'm just sore. The wolfblood is filtering out of my body I think." You automatically sulked into him at the annoying confession. You were so used to the faster healing and improved endurance you were sad your weak human self was returning.

"How 'bout we have a serious chat after the party. Cuz I don' want ya feelin' like yer weak just cus yer a human."

You gave him a soft kiss and agreed to wait for the party to be over. Now focusing on getting everything ready for tomorrow.

The day started slow like any other. You were blessed with a child that slept throigh the night as long as she got fed before bed.

While you prepared breakfast Daryl made his way around the house with a complaining Lily in his arms. The second she saw you she wanted to be fed, but making breakfast and feeding her were no tasks to be combined.

Daryl had given her a slice of ham already, but that didn't suffice. Her whines made that very clear.

"Daryl?" Your voice was picked up by your husband and within moments he was at your side. "Just the bacon left. I can go feed her if you wanna finish this?" You already held your arms open to take Lily from him.

Your kitchen held enough space for you to hang out comfortably as Lily had her breakfast and also give you a lovely view of Daryl cooking bacon to go with your egg sandwiches.

Today was gonna be a good day. You had it all planned out and were excited to see the in-laws again.

But first breakfast. With Lily done feeding you could finally start eating. Thankfullyneach pack mom had the same idea and each gifted you a large basket full of puppy items and a note informing the basket itself and the added blanket were perfect to place your newborn in for a bit to rest your arms. You kept one in almost every room, including one next to you on the table.

You coo'ed at her as you placed her in the soft basket, much to Daryl's amusement.

You found the baskets a bit strange at first, but Daryl had convinced you to give them a chance and now you couldn't function without them.

Just as your butt touched yoir chair again, Daryl came up to the table with two large plates of food.

You two ate dinner and went through the day's plans again before cleaning up the dishes and taking turns taking a shower and setting up the last party prep.

You made sure to give Lily her lunchtime feeding so she'd be asleep just before the people started coming in.

With the large double doors to the back porch opened up you had a perfect view of her living room nap spot and worried a bit less about having to stay at her side the whole time.

Folks started coming in, quickly finding you and Daryl to share congratulations and more small gifts.

The farmers had come empry handed, but not without a promise of a large produce delivery coming in tomorrow. The eight wolves living there took care of greens, eggs, milk and meat.

Some parents had brought their kids too, who were all too eager to grab your hands to be lead to the newborn for a look. You admitted to be a bit anxious, but they all behaved exceptionately well. They sat down on the floor and said quiet hello's.

While you were away from the parents one of the older teens came to you. She had a worried look on her face and sat down close to you before speaking softly.

"Can I ask you something?" She had her head almost laying on your shoulder with how close she got, but you let her stay and let her speak.

"How did you react when you found out Daryl was a werewolf?" The question came out so careful, she was clearly afraid of something she didn't share out loud but the memory made you giggle a bit.

"My dad told me, because I love monster movies. Let's just say I reacted really well to it. Otherwise I wouldn't be here and have a kid with him." You gave her your kindest smile but couldn't help to ask what was bothering her so much.

This younger generation was almost perfectly human with the amount of control they had outside of the full moon, so they were allowed to mingle way more than their parents. Ans so it turned out the girl had developed a crush on a human boy.

She had come to you for advice on humans, not having told even her parents yet.

"It's never easy to show your real self to a human. We're not used to seeing werewolves outside of books and TV." Truth was, the monsters on TV were nothing compared to the beautiful creatures that surrounded you now.

"I think my best advice would be to just be you for now, figure out if he likes you as well and then think about more." You had picked up Lily from her spot and were holding her in your lap now. "Maybe the guy ends up being a weirdo, in the bad sense of the word." The comment managed to get a laugh out of her, luckily brightening the mood again just as Daryl came by.

"There y'are. Lost ya for a minute." He bent down to kiss your head as he stared at his kid nephews and nieces all surrounding his wife and child.

And said nephews and nieces were quickly surrounding uncle Daryl, bombarding him with questions. "Why do you only have one puppy? Can we see missus's wolf? Uncle, when are you having a big family we can play with?"

They swarmed him, clinging to his leg and begging for answers. He had picked up the smallest boy and bribed the kids to be calm around the baby if he'd give them answers. "Now listen y'all. 'N sit yer asses down." In a heartbeat the rowdy bunch plopped their butts down in front of him and stared up. "Momma here ain't a wolf. I thought yer parents told y'all tha' already." An array of "whaaat?" and "woooww"s sounded through the room and pairs of eyes peeked over at you before Daryl continued. "The other pack mommas are all wolves, fhey ca have more pups in one go. She's human, an' human ladies only have one pup at a time." Daryl had sat down on his haunches and had let go of his nephew again. "So be kind to 'er. She's family."

"So is the puppy only half puppy?" The genuine curiosity was adorable, knowing they would never mean harm with their questions. But Daryl's carefully chosen words when he answered were so sweet too. "Neh, Lily's all pup. See human ladies can have lil' ones with all kinds of creatures, not just other humans."

Another wave of "woooowww"s came in reply as some got up and ran for their parents to share the newly aquired facts, and others made sure to come to you and state how cool you were.

"So, humans and wolves really do mix better than most humans think, right?" Your original conversation was almost forgotten thanks to the little ones' questionaire.

"Usually humans are scared of things they don't know. But if you show you're not a threat, it could end up going really well." You gave her a soft side-hug and pat her shoulder, Daryl stepping in on her other side. "There's always gon' be older wolves tha'll think yer wrong fer likin' a human. But fuck' em. Ya can date who ya wan'."

Of course Daryl would be the one who agreed with more modern ways of life when it came to befriending humans. He considered his human best friend a brother and now even had a child with one.

"Thanks for being so open towards the pack, about all of this."

Daryl took her hand and pulled her to her feet, grabbing her and giving her the biggest bear hug. "My folks woulda hunted 'er for sport. Glad they ain't around no more. Nothin' wrong with humans when ya pick 'em well."

She gave him a happy nod in return, thanking you both again before heading out to grab a drink.

Parents had started to round up their kids, getting ready to head home after saying their goodbyes. Just in time to catch Merle come in with his truck stacked to the high heavens with moonshine. The older wolves, and even the ones just turned eightteen were offered to take a jar from the crate Merle took to set on the table on his way to his baby brother.

Without missing a beat he grabbed Daryl's wrist, yanked him towards him and put him in an inescapable hug, praising him and congratulating him on the healthy pup. When he let go he went in to give you the same bone crushing hug before he spotted the pup in your arms and backed up. He stepped up a lot more calm and offered a soft squeeze of the arm instead, congratulating you as well in a much softer voice. "Ya look great, momma. 'N so does the lil' nugget." A choked laugh escaped your lips at the name. "Nugget? Your baby niece has a name you know."

"'Course I know 'er name's Lily. Wha' kina uncle would I be if I didn'?"

You laughed together as Daryl silently appriciated Merle's ability to adjust his behavior around the pup.

The men went back outside after you excused yourself to feed Lily one last time today and try and get her to sleep in her nap spot until you were going to bed and taking her upstairs with you.

"Hey, dontchu drink tha' one! Aint yers!" You heard Merle's voice call out, making you head over outside just that bit faster.

Not that there was a fight, but you didn't want to deal with badly behaving wolves.

Merle noticed you walking through the door and handed you a bottle. Not moonshine, but an expensive brand of wine. "Weren't sure if ya'd be drinkin' cuz of the lil' one. Ya can drink it whenever."

You thanked him and brought the bottle inside, not drinking yet for as long as Lily still drank from you.

Outside the adults were getting loud, howling with laughter. You caught Daryl's voice immediately, he was toasting to you, "his pride and joy", praising you until he was out of breath.

You stood at the oposite end of where he was and watched from a distance, appriciating your loving husband's words.

"And cheers to lil' baby Dixon!" Merle shouted after his brother's speech.

While the men were being their rowdy self, the younger wolves had all banded together and were hanging out at the far end of the property while the women had swarmed you to chit chat. Talks about your daughter and husband were what filled the hours until you could barely keep your eyes open. Some of the mothers had decided then it was time to go round up their teens, get them to help drag dad to the car and head back home while you had gotten up to kiss Daryl goodnight.

"Night, momma~!" Merle's voice slurred as he swayed to wrap an arm around your shoulders and kissed the side of your head. "Good night, Merle. See ya in the morning?" Your sweet smile went straight to his heart, giving you that drunk giggle and nodded. "Ya know I love tha' hammock, find me passed out til' ya bring me some eggs 'n bacon."

You bid him goodnight and moved to find your husband who was still very invested in his conversation about mechanics.

"Baby I'm gonna go sleep." You let him know with a hand on his shoulder to keep his attention. He was drinking, but from a glass instead of a jar, having promised to get at most a bit tipsy tomight and make sure the house was left in a neat state before going to sleep himself.

"Hmhm, goodnight Bunny. Takin' Lily witcha?" He grabbed your side from where he sat next to you and tugged to get a kiss from you.

Bending down you smiled into the kiss, tasting the nasty moonshine.

"Lily and I will be upstairs. Love ya." You gave him another kiss to temple and heqded inside with a few waves to the others still hanging around.

Once upstairs in your bedroom you placed Lily in her crib, babbling soft apologies for waking her up until she slept again and putting yourself to bed as well, falling asleep to the howling of your celebrating family.

A/N: There's so much to write about Daryl's pack, it's so big!!

[bambi-kinos]

After reading your view on John's treatment of Paul, I have to ask if you also have thougts on what happend between George and Paul during and after post Beatles. We know how they both treated him as the younger brother and how he tought they were to busy being John and Paul so they failed to see him though other artist saw him etc. We can also understand how he back away from John and Yoko. But what was his problems with Paul? Paul played on more George-Beatle songs than John did and George even played on John's solo record but said he would never play in a band with Paul again. Because there still seem to that he had another issue with Paul and there still seem to be tensions between them during the Anthology. Did Paul really deserved to be treated like that by both John and George. George went on a lot about his faith and spiritual seaching but not really lived up to it all the time. He played a lot about how unhappy he was in the Beatles and being famous buthe lived large with his cars and big house etc. I'm not defending Paul, well I do, but they both treated him so badly. Why, do you have any more ideas about that. Or what other artists, like ex Wings members etc who also complained about Paul's ways. I only ever see it as jealousy.

Legit had no idea how to answer this as George's dynamic with the rest of the band is opaque to me. I put the question to the McLennon server and they provided some very good answers, they have given me permission to copypaste it all here. I hope this helps Anon.

Note: I let the others talk and then I used Discord's "reply" function liberally to @ the different paragraphs. For tumblr I have rearranged the posts so that they read in order as full conversations instead of the weird mishmash that Discord produces. When you see weird timestamps, that is why.

***

Leggy「IT'S A GUNDAM 」 — Yesterday at 11:00 AM received an interesting ask from an anon, its very long so i'm just copy pasting

ask

What do we think of this? my take is basically that George resented Paul because he replaced George with John and their relationship never recovered, which snowballed into these bigger issues about George's contributions to the Beatles and his growth as an artist.

I think it was amoralto who pointed out that Paul was safer for George to attack because Paul would forgive him whereas with John that wasn't the case. and yet George was able to cut John off later so what gives?

LocalGoblin — Yesterday at 1:43 PM I think there's a lot to this dynamic that we're not privvy too. What we do know, however, are things like how during the white album sessions, Paul was constantly undermining George's suggestions. I think it was George Martin who said that. We can even see it a bit in Get Back.

On top of that, even to this day, Paul calls George his little brother in interviews. He has always viewed George as the little kid of the group and that would feel incredibly patronising and demoralising. Paul is a lot more wired that John, and I think that personality trait is just something that George stuggles with. John is the 'cool/fun parent'.

I know John also viewed George as the little kid. And I think this hurt George less because 1. John WAS that older kid/parental figure for so long. 2. You can't take what John was as seriously because he changes his mind day-to-day. 3. I think George honestly (probably) secretly respected Paul's opinion more. So Paul's remarks hurt more.

John = The deadbeat Disney dad. Paul = The more serious and caring/overbearing parent You can see how he would grow to resent Paul more. And I think he also blamed Paul for the breakup too. Or at least, how messy all of that was and all the horrible legal issues that came with it

Leggy「IT'S A GUNDAM 」 — Yesterday at 2:06 PM this one hurts. oof. when I read about the break up in excerpts I get the feeling that George thought Paul's problem was the money and the business decisions and he didn't consider (or didn't want to consider) what was driving it emotionally….after all he felt like Paul didn't consider his feelings 😬

LocalGoblin — Yesterday at 1:52 PM Anthology is interesting though. I really think George's attitude in that it partly because he needed to do it. He needed the money. I don't think he really wanted to do it. It was Paul's baby, and he also resented him for that. Hated Paul for being more comfortable financially too. Paul didn't need to do anthology. George did.

Leggy「IT'S A GUNDAM 」 — Yesterday at 1:53 PM genius, you're absolutely right

Leggy「IT'S A GUNDAM 」 — Yesterday at 2:08 PM this was also around the time that Paul's sweet new deal with Capitol became a thing, i think, because Capitol offered like a significant profit increase for Paul on Beatles royalties if he signed his next few solo albums with them. That caused a lot of upset with George and Ringo iirc, so damn :(

LocalGoblin — Yesterday at 1:55 PM (Also, Paul in a few interviews, has said that he was on good terms with John when he died - UNLIKE George. Almost rubbing it in George's face. I know he doesn't mean it. But I would be incredibly upset by that in George's position. To be constantly reminded of that.)

I think its funny that Paul is viewed as the PR savvy Beatles cause he puts his foot in his mouth all the time haha That actually might be why he's more reserved in interviews now. Sticking to a script… Who knows!

Leggy「IT'S A GUNDAM 」 — Yesterday at 2:19 PM Ha, god, probably. Paul has his moments, there's a good 80s interview where he bemoaned Frank Sinatra attributing a George song to maccalennon, but he doesn't seem to have been humbled until the Heather Mills circus.

vanessaaa0388 — Yesterday at 1:57 PM In one of the AKOM podcasts they mentioned a George quote about how he was the closest beatle to John back when it was only them 2 taking LSD… it's my personal theory than in those months he almost felt like he was finally taking over Paul's spot in John's life…I dunno, I get very competitive vibes from George. In his mind he was competing for John with Paul. At least in certain points. And I think John took advantage of that.

Leggy「IT'S A GUNDAM 」 — Yesterday at 2:20 PM Absolutely. Reminds me of, ha, Paul when he said that John was their personal Elvis. They all wanted his attention and approval. I also wonder if George was seeking a mentor somewhere and if he thought John was it since they dropped together.

vanessaaa0388 — Yesterday at 2:01 PM It's very complex, the Paul-George dynamic

Leggy「IT'S A GUNDAM 」 — Yesterday at 2:02 PM Paul is the one who's always looking for a "project" and can't turn off, being with him must have been exhausting and then you add being talked down to all the time. whereas John can be fun and turn himself off and then maybe the sting of being talked down to isn't so bad. And like we saw in Get Back when John said "we need George Harrison" because he realized George was looking for reassurance, so he could also build George up when he felt like he should.

I guess with John its more like "lots of fun with a few pointed barbs thrown in" whereas with Paul he's steamrollering you constantly and will only occasionally throw in a compliment.

maybe since Paul is more consistent, it meant more to earn his respect? or something like that, like Vanessa pointed out George was competitive for John's approval and attention.

Leggy「IT'S A GUNDAM 」 — Yesterday at 2:12 PM there's this consistent theme with George and Paul where Paul's closeness with John seems to really hurt and damage George. And its not like he could let it go easily either because Paul was also his teammate, not just John's. It was a quad act, not a double.

I think George said that being outside Lennon/Mccartney meant observing Beatlemania as a fan instead of as a bandmate. So he's getting all the trouble but very few of the benefits. And then there's the royalty issues on top of that.

Like, Paul was George's friend first, but then Paul pulped that friendship pretty much immediately when he saw John and never felt like he should do anything to fix it. And then George gets pulled into Beatlemania and then there's money problems and then Brian died.

Brian was George's big advocate I noticed, setting up a newspaper column in George's name (ghostwritten by someone else) because he wanted George to be his own brand outside the Beatles and maccalennon, so when he died a lot of that probably went down the drain too.

Leggy「IT'S A GUNDAM 」 — Yesterday at 2:23 PM George seems to have been very lonely in the Beatles but due to all this:

I know John also viewed George as the little kid. And I think this hurt George less because 1. John WAS that older kid/parental figure for so long. 2. You can't take what John was as seriously because he changes his mind day-to-day. 3. I think George honestly (probably) secretly respected Paul's opinion more. So Paul's remarks hurt more.

I guess it was easier to shift some blame onto Paul. A lot of George's spiritual journey appears to be about wanting to escape like when he sings about wanting to see God but being frustrated at how long it will take him. Its real but it also seems like he was pretty weary of life by his mid20s.

LocalGoblin — Yesterday at 2:40 PM Yeah, you're so right. John was also the other Beatle who was more spiritually inclined. He was the only one besides George who was fully committed to the India trip. (At least for a time.) This was probably something they bonded over too.

There's also that quote… I can't remember what interview it's from. But George was asked what it was like being a Beatle and he says he doesn't really know. He always felt like he was on the outside looking in on Lennon/McCartney. It must've felt like a very lonely place.

vanessaaa0388 — Yesterday at 2:40 PM I'm fascinated by J&P but I give George a lot of credit for putting up with them both for so long. I would've cut them out of my life so fast 😂

Leggy「IT'S A GUNDAM 」 — Yesterday at 4:05 PM honestly they ruined George's life in some ways!

[creaturefeaster]

Now I’m curious of some of the other characters upbringing, if you could give a short summary (or long, I love reading your rambles!!) of each of the Fated 15’s upbringing, what would they be like?

I'll go down the list ^^.

Tim's upbringing was just fine. A bit of an overprotective mother, but a loving and caring one. She really drilled home the morals of hard work & hospitality into him growing up. He and his mom are very close, especially because they're all they have at home.

Hannah couldn't complain about her childhood either. It was a very chill upbringing. She takes heavily after her dad-- he's a cool and relaxed kind of dude, handy. Their whole family (Mother, Father, Hannah, Step-brother) are big on helping out others and spend a lot of their free time in community service, and that's had a big effect on how she interacts with others, especially post-Fault.

Brook, as I'm sure most of you know already, grew up with a very very traditional, anti-tech family. Not a lot of exposure to the outside world, her and her siblings were schooled on their property and were taught a lot of untrue things about the world beyond their small town. But, her childhood was not bad. Her family is very loving-- conditionally so, but she's never had an issue falling under those conditions-- and perhaps a little overbearing at times. Her and her older siblings have all learned to hide certain aspects of their lives, thoughts, and desires from their parents as a result of their aggressively traditional ways of thinking. Brook's thing was sneaking out at night, a habit her parents believe she's grown out of (she hasn't).

Gary's upbringing was both lavish yet harsh. He's a prince after all, taught many skills and hyper-specific manners, had high expectations, all of which he failed to excell enough at for his dad to ever be proud of him. His dad and step dad always seemed like they were watching and judging everything he did. He was prone to lashing out, running away for short periods, or intentionally causing issues just so he could be grounded and be alone for a while. It's left him with a lot of bad habits and poor emotional regulation. Never taught or praised for doing the right thing, only punished for doing the wrong thing.

Lauren's homelife was nearly picturesque. Loving parents, bratty older sister but never anything more than a bit annoying at time, an incredibly large and decked out home in a gated community with friendly neighbors and seriously, nothing to complain about. She simply had interests that never aligned with her family's, and even though they supported her she convinced herself that they either didn't understand, or that they were overbearing and controlling. They weren't. She just functions on a different wavelength and made it their problem, lmao.

Elliot's upbringing was a little rough, his dad was rarely there and a bit of a deadbeat, and his mother was a hard worker trying to make enough to support their family. Elliot had to raise his younger brother which matured him quickly, but he missed out on a lot of his later childhood as a result. He often found himself in a lot of risky situations with nobody around to provide some foresight, so he's lost and learned a lot throughout his life

Tanner's upbringing was kind of boring. His family was never super close, it just wasn't really in their nature. Often they would be off doing their own things rather than participate in family gatherings. Even meals were typically enjoyed alone or distracted by things like television. There wasn't always much to do at home, and he grew to be very tolerant of inactivity. He spent a lot of his time in his room listening to music, or getting up to weird or questionable things late at night with April.

April has always been a contrarian, and even in instances where she wasn't, her parents grew to expect it from her and acted accordingly anyways. There's always been a lot of arguing in her family, and as a result she has a hard time not defaulting to arguing or just straight up opposing a statement, even in the event that she does agree with it. Her brothers were often cruel towards her and never got in trouble for it, and she never really felt like she belonged at home growing up.

Leon's life was pretty free. He grew up in the very small nowhere town of Lystrike with parents who had him later in life than most, so he was raised by not just them, but as they got older and couldn't always keep up, the greater community as well. You'd hear no complaints from him about his childhood, he felt safe in his town and stuck hard to the good morals it taught him.

Rachel's upbringing was pleasant, her family was close-knit and sociable. Despite magic being quite the uncommon thing to learn as a talpian (and even questionable depending on where you live in the underworld), her family was always supportive of her. They raised her well and she felt more than confident in moving out when she was old enough, and always kept in close contact with them after she left.

Bonnie's upbringing was hard. Her mother was frequently ill, and her father worked long days at sea. She took care of her mother from a young age, and when she wasnt, hung around the docks either with or waiting for her father. She had to be the one to acquire the family's goods and necessities more often than not, and her home town was not a particularly safe one, especially for a young girl to be walking around in all alone. She never complained though, not once. She was lucky to have a home whereas many others in her town did not.

Michael's childhood was loving. He's always been a bit babied by his mothers, though they've laid off it a little in more recent years, and so he tended to be a little more ignorant and immature growing up. He went through an oppositional phase in his teens that made his home life a little more tense, but that's kind of on him-- his mothers have always been supportive and given him everything they could for him to live a comfortable life.

Samantha's, as stated a few asks ago, was lonely. Life lessons were missed or taught begrudgingly through house workers, or rarely learned the hard way. She has grown cautious of the unknown and gets a bit uncomfortable stepping out of her comfort zone, because nobody at home has ever taken the time to teach her some confidence. Yuan helps her through this, by virtue of being a huge fucking dragon.

Debbie's upbringing wasn't awful, but not very fun either. Raised soley by her dad who was a militant control freak, she could hardly be herself at home. She learned to become proficient at sneaking out at night, and gets away with all of her rambunctiousness when her father is away with work. A lot of her life has involved being yelled at or around, or walking on eggshells to avoid upsetting her dad-- especially in her earlier years. If there is one thing she got from her dad, it'd be her volume control.

Vilmr was raised as best as he could by Maja, a lady who has never had any children of her own. She's given him a roof, enough food, plenty of wisdom, and some harsh love here and there. He's always been a hard child to keep tame, but respect and discipline have been constant lessons throughout his upbringing and he's always worked hard to make her proud, even if he finds himself being problematic from time to time.