#which is easily done with the method to my madness in excel

[bethecrayon]

all you need to know about me is I will produce a perfectly organized, sortable spreadsheet with cross referenced tables and cells that grey out when appropriate, see everyone else did their research notes in word, and FREAK OUT even when some of them are tables because like... I’m the only excel doc and that’s weird.

[muffinrecord]

One Hundred Evils and You: Stall Teams (for the F2P Player)

Introduction:

Here is a guide on how to defeat the Hundred Evils/Hundred Calamities with easy-to-acquire units and easy-to-aquire memoria! 

Please note that this is not the only approach to the Hundred Evils, and it might not even be the best approach for you personally. However, it is the most generic approach that is made with Free-to-Play Players in mind. Stall teams are easier and more accessible to make than most Charge or Magia teams. Blast teams can work in the Hundred Evils (I’ve done them before) but it’s tricky and they’re not always applicable, depending greatly on who you fight. In the end a Stall team might be your best option!

This is an extremely long guide. I wanted to be thorough, but I might have overdone it. Still, I hope this is helpful! Some of these hints might be a little obvious, but I wanted to make sure that even new players could get some practical advice.

What is the Hundred Evils? 

The Hundred Evils is located on the far right tab where you have three different battles to fight that only cost a reasonable 1AP each. Inside, you’ll battle against several different waves of Magical Girls (and only Magical Girls-- no Witches, Uwasa, Kimochi, or other kinds of minions will be found inside).

What is a Stall Team?

A Stall team is a team that 

Uses Magia to protect its team + deal out damage

Uses memoria to protect its team and debuff enemy

Uses specific characters for buffing, debuffing, healing, ect

This is not a team that will kill fast, but is one that can take some serious hits and stick around.

Preparing Your Team

Like many strategies, most of the difficulty is in the planning. But before we talk about the characters themselves, let’s take a quick moment to talk about the preparation needed to make them excel at their work. Unfortunately this will require investment in both their Spirit Enhancement and in their Magia (you’ll want several of them to have Doppels).

More importantly, you’ll also want these characters to have multiple slots-- the worse your memoria are, the more slots you’ll want. Essentially, you really need each character to have four of them.

For more established players, it’s very possible that you’ll have several of these girls kitted out already with their required slots, but for very new players, it might take a few events to finally get them fully slotted. Luckily you can do this easily with Magia Chips and Destiny Bottles, unlike with natural four-stars, but this still might take time to build up.

As for Spirit Enhancement, it depends-- some characters you’ll really want that Active (for example, Kako’s party-wide HP Regen heal) and some characters... eh. It’s not as important.

But it’s still a good idea to grab as much as you can. Some characters, like Kako again, have SE that gives them more MP at the start of the battle or HP Regen. This is inconsequential for high-end content, but vital for a FTP Magia Stall strategy team. You want everything that will make a character live longer, heal themselves on their own, get them to Magia faster, ect. You don’t need to get them to 60/60 SE, but it’d be good to aim for them to have all their Passives and Active.

Who to Use:

Let me introduce you to a F2P’s saviors:

Let’s go through them and analyze why these girls in particular are so good for Stall teams. 

Oriko Mikuni: Oriko is the team leader of this bunch. Why is that? She’s your go-to Magia damage dealer. She’s a Magia type, she deals a decent amount of damage for an uncapped girl, her Magia is an AOE, and her typing (Light) means that she should be able to deal decent damage against anything you throw at her. Her Spirit Enhancement is full of increased Magia Damage Up, and she also has the passive 15% chance to inflict Skill Seal on her enemies-- it’s not enough to be reliable, but I find that it’s still really useful when it pops off unexpectedly. The focus on Evade can be useful in some circumstances-- she’s fragile, and it’s an easy way to protect her. Lastly, her connect gives Accele MP Gain Up, which lets her help your team gain more MP.

Kako Natsume: The GOAT for F2P, Kako Natsume is pretty mighty. Her Accele Draw personal memoria is great for getting things set up, she offers good heals through her connect, her Magia/Doppel, and even through her Active SE, and her SE is also pretty decent with giving her lots of stuff that helps her survive. Her damage isn’t the best as a Healer, but her single-target Magia/Doppel can kill troublesome Aqua-types when needed. Her Magia/Doppel/Connect also gives “Remove Status Ailments” which can be extremely helpful. Lastly, her Doppel will provide “Remove Buffs” towards the target which can help with increasing damage potential.

Emiri Kisaki: Don’t let Emiri fool you into thinking she’s all giggles-- she's fearsome! She’s excellent as a Debuffer and will protect your team through inflicting Dazzle onto the enemies. Not only does Dazzle make them more liable to miss, but it also means the enemy takes increased damage from their weak element, so she can also help increase damage done. Additionally, her Magia/Doppel gives all enemies Damage Down for three turns, making her Magia even more protective. Lastly, she has Skill Quicken as part of her Spirit Enhancement, meaning it’s an excellent idea to equip memoria on her that you want to use more often than the cooldown let’s you.

Manaka Kurumi: Manaka is fucking incredible. Like Kako she’s a heal-type, but don’t be tricked into thinking that’s all she can do. She has one of the highest Attack Up connects in the game and her Magia/Doppel offers an excellent amount of Attack Up to all allies for three turns. This gives her the role of being the buffer-- if you’re facing a tough enemy, use Manaka’s Magia/Doppel first and then use the other Magia after. She has two Accele MP Gain Up passive nodes and an active that gives her more Accele MP Gain Up, so don’t be afraid to use her Magia/Doppel often.

Other Good F2P-Friendly Units

Now, you’ll probably notice that I only included four up there, but that you can use five in total for your team. If you need to use a Magia Stall Team, then I recommend using all five spaces so that you have more room for potential Magia/Doppels. The fifth slot can be swapped for anyone in particular, but if you’re looking for a F2P-friendly character then I’d recommend one of these girls.

Umika Misaki: Personally this would be my most recommended option. Umika is another healer, which makes your team even more protective than before, and she can fill a very protective role. First, her connect won’t just heal someone but it’ll also give them Damage Cut and almost 100% Defense Up-- making her excellent at protecting someone. Her Magia/Doppel act similarly to Kako’s, restoring health to all allies and also removing Status Ailments. Her SE is similarly useful-- like Emiri, she has passive 15% Skill Quicken, so she’s a good choice to equip active memoria you want to use often on. Like Oriko, she has a chance to Skill Seal on attack-- not enough to be reliable, but enough that it should still be good. Her SE active is MP Damage for 30MP-- situational, but it can be extremely helpful if you’re not able to kill an enemy before they can Magia you. Her DEF and HP make her solid, not as much as a proper tank, but as someone who can stand in for one. 

Hotaru Yura: A bit of a bold choice, but Hotaru can be good. She’s another healer, but she has some excellent supportive capabilities. First, you don’t need to worry about her dying, unless she can’t Regen HP-- her SE Active gives her 100% HP Restore (with the cost of Attack down on self, but no one is using Hotaru for damage). She has passive HP Regen, Defense Up, and Status Ailment Resistance so she can take a bit of punishment. Her connect is a generic heal, and her Magia has a generic HP Regen, but what makes her really shine is the MP Regen from her Magia-- this means you can use her to keep your party having topped off MP gauges. 

Haruka Kanade: If you have Haruka, she can be a good choice as a tank. Despite being a Support, she has a ton of tanking capabilities, and she can protect your team through a variety of methods. She has passive Provoke chance, meaning she can draw aggro away, Skill Quicken (you want to probably use her active slots for taunt memoria and for defense up/damage cut memoria though), and HP Regen. Her active lets her taunt the enemies while also inflicting a 52% chance of Charm onto them-- it’s a long cooldown, but can serve as a panic button when things are going wrong. Her connect gives Charm as well, meaning you can protect the party from hits. Her Magia/Doppel is also a good defensive panic button of sorts-- the target will deal less damage, Haruka gains Provoke and Damage Cut (and hp regen), and she can protect your team for that turn.

Sana Futaba: Sana has decent DEF and HP stats, so she will do well as a tank. She has a passive Provoke and a passive Endure-- meaning that she can draw hits and also stay alive past one potentially fatal one. Her SE gives her Accele MP Gain Up and MP Gain Up nodes, so it shouldn’t be too difficult to get her to Magia/Doppel. Her Anti-Debuff SE active is situationally useful. Her connect gives 100% Damage Cut, making it a good way to protect the user, and her Magia gives Damage Cut/Defense Up to all allies, again making her a good way to defend her team. Her Doppel has a chance of being very defensive or of inflicting Status Ailments (Burn, Darkness, Bind). This does make her more tricky to use if she gets to 150 MP as opposed to 100-- you can’t guarantee if she’ll protect your team or inflict ailments on the enemy.

Good Four-Star Units to Use

There are too many good units to list here-- believe me, I tried to actually do that and after the first twenty characters I realized I’d have to tackle this in a different way. However, here are some extremely notable characters, who you should bring even if they only have one slot:

Madoka & Iroha

Madoka Kaname

Mikage Yakumo

Outside of that, if you have someone with a few slots and you’re wondering if they’re good to bring, ask yourself these questions:

Do they have good disks? Characters with two or more Accele disks are better than ones with only one. 

Do they help with MP generation in any sort of form? It’s not a must-have, but it’s a plus.

What do they provide to the party-- do they have a protective role, a defensive one, an offensive one? For example, you can swap out Emiri for a slotted Mifuyu since they share similar roles, or a Sayuki for a Manaka.

Last Notes on Choosing Characters

Here are a few last things to consider when choosing some characters.

First off, you don’t always fight every element. You might not know who you’re fighting, but you can know what element they’ll be-- you can then use your characters accordingly. For example, it might not be worth it to bring an Aqua-element if you could use another Forest type here. Just make sure that you don’t miss important team roles!

You can always try to use memoria to fill in missing character gaps. For example, some fights might have you face teams that build up MP to use on deadly Magia. You could try to get your one-slot Touka to work... or you could just use Magia Damage Down or MP Gain Down memoria instead.

Tanks can be really helpful here but also sometimes not. A tank really needs 3+ slots to work properly so that they can have enough defensive passives plus an active that grabs aggro. However, you don’t need to choose a proper tank-- any character with a passive Provoke or Guardian can work if they have the right memoria for it. Just make sure you keep them alive. 

Three healers on a team might seem excessive, but personally I find it to help cover bases. This way you don’t run into a situation where your healer needs help but no one can help them, and you also are able to use Magia more strategically-- Manaka can heal, sure, but you don’t need to waste her Magia on someone when you don’t need the Attack Buff right then as long as Kako has her Magia up still. This is also really helpful if you don’t have any tanks on your team.

When it comes to filling in the fifth member of the F2P team (Oriko, Manaka, Kako, Emiri), I prefer aqua types so that you can fill in all elemental slots. Again though, make sure you check what elements you’re fighting first!

The formation you use can be important too. This one for example gives increased Status Ailment Resistance and HP Regen. Additionally, make sure you place your characters with consideration. Characters closer to the front will be targeted more than characters towards the behind. If you have a tank with Provoke memoria, then make sure whoever is horizontal and vertical with them can also take some hits when the enemy uses a blast attack.

Equipping Your Team: What Memoria to Choose?

Okay, so you’ve chosen your characters. What about memoria? Do you need top of the line stuff here? 

Nah. You can do this with event rewards easily!

Going through a list of everything that could potentially be helpful would be extremely long, so the above provides some examples. Let’s go over some notes:

For passive memoria, I prefer to do one Accele MP Gain Up/MP Gain Up memoria paired with one Attack Up/Damage Up/Damage Increase memoria. That way your units can get to Magia easily and still deal decent damage when they get there. If your characters are fragile, then using memoria with Defense Up/Damage Cut are good ideas too. Memoria with passive HP Regen aren’t a bad idea-- you probably have a lot of good healers on your team, but a character who can passively heal themselves means you can use those Magia for more offensive purposes.

As for Actives, your choices are expanded. I mentioned above that memoria can fill in missing gaps that you couldn’t fit characters in for. Actives are part of that. Accele Draw memoria are always a must, and memoria that help increase your MP Gain is always a plus. The biggest key though will be Attack Down / Damage Down memoria. Memoria like Mito Rain are the best thing possible for a F2P-- it has a low cooldown, effects everyone, gives a ton of its percentage, ect. You’re actually better off keeping five separate copies of Mito Rain instead of max awakening it to one, because then you can give each character one copy-- this means you can use a Mito Rain on every turn. This will protect your units and keep them safe in addition to all the healing you can do, and it also will help you deal increased damage thanks to its Defense Down.

One memoria that can inflict MP Gain Down is generally a good idea. 

Characters with passive Skill Quicken should be given memoria that you want to use more often-- Mito Rain is a good idea on them of course, but so are other debuffers. 

Tailor your memoria to your needs. If you find that all your characters are constantly at 150 MP but you’re never in a good place to use it, try decreasing the amount of MP Regen memoria you’ve got going on and replace them with more damaging effects.

DON’T OVERLOOK THREE STAR MEMORIA. They can be extremely helpful and even better than some four-star ones! For example, Leila Rain is an overlooked hero and definitely worth considering! Three-star memoria are easier to max awaken too, so in some cases, a max awakened three-star memoria is going to be better than a single copy of a four-star one!

If you’re a newer player, then chances are you’ll struggle with having good memoria along with having good units. Memoria can be just as much an investment as characters can be-- so make sure you’re getting 3* Over Limiters from your events and spend them wisely. 

Don’t forget you can negate Evade through Status Ailments-- memoria can be extremely helpful with that.

Actually Fighting

So now you’re fighting. Cool! What now?

First you want to build up your MP for everyone. If you have an Accele combo without needing to use an Accele draw memoria, take it!

For your first wave, try to build up MP slowly across everyone. Use your Accele Draw(s) here and prioritize Accele combos-- even if it means using an Accele disc for someone who already has max MP. For example, if I got an acele disc option from Umika, Manka, and Oriko, I’d still use Umika’s to get all of that MP.

Remember that the order the Accele disc goes in determines how much MP they get! The first character gets the least amount of MP with the last one getting the most. Using the previous example, I’d use Umika’s disc, Oriko’s disc, and then Manaka’s disc. Don’t forget that the characters get a flat +20 MP boost too.

Choose your target enemy wisely. For example, you can generally count on Touka featuring some sort of anti-MP gain/MP Gain on self, and Nemu to inflict a status ailment onto your team. Here, the Rena hits harder than her Rena-chan self. You can’t always predict who is going to use what, but general familiarity with the characters helps.

Some enemies are better for generating MP against than others. You can’t always predict who you’ll get and what they’ll do, but if you come across easy enemies, take advantage of the situation to farm some MP. 

There are lots of tricks to getting more MP out of situations. For example, all characters will gain more MP after they hit 100MP than before they do-- so using an Accele disc before a Magia is an easy way of regaining your losses.

Using an Accele disc before any others will increase the MP gained by each subsequent disc, even for Blast. If your disc selection is bad, try to make the most of it with squeezing out what you can.

Additionally, if you’re confident a Magia will kill a target, use the Magia last. You can put two potential accele discs in front of it to get even more MP out of the thing. 

This line of thinking can go with charging up connects. You don’t actually need to use the disc (if the enemy dies) to get the + for it, so if you’re confident a Magia will kill a target, pick discs that will give you a connect on your next turn.

This is a little overkill, but personally I like to go into the last wave with as many Doppels and Memoria up as possible. Don’t stay on any character too long-- you can only use three doppel a turn after all, and using one of your five to finish someone off isn’t a bad idea-- but also don’t be afraid to sit for a bit either. Just make sure you’re under the 40 turn time limit. It’s possible that whatever you face in the final wave will need more than three doppels to die.

It’s time. It’s the final, toughest wave. You’re here! You’ve got all the Doppels ready and a bunch of memoria ready too. So what order do you do this in?

In general a safe bet is to go Manaka > Emiri > Oriko. This is so that Manaka will buff the entire team, making each Doppel hit harder, Emiri can inflict Bewitch (possibly making Oriko hit harder if she counters the element, though it doesn’t work in this scenario) and use your main damage dealer (Oriko) last.

If your characters have some lingering status ailments, or if the enemy has an annoying buff, Kako’s doppel might be a good idea to go first instead. It’s not a bad idea to save your defensive doppels/healing doppels for a potential second round though.

And that’s it! You did it! Congratulations!

Other Advice that I Don’t Have Screenshots For

You’ve got at least two healers who can heal through connects, magia/doppel, and one through her SE Active. Don’t blow a Doppel when a connect will do just as well.

If you don’t have enough debuff memoria to “blanket” the enemy every turn, then use Emiri’s connect to try and blanket them with Bewitch instead. 

Connects in general are a tricky thing to use. You want to save them for times when their effects are needed, but sometimes you also want to give someone an Accele disk to get their MP up. Don’t get too greedy, but conversely don’t hoard them.

If you mess up and want to redo a wave, forcefully exit the game. When you bring it back up, you’ll have an option to go right back to the beginning of that wave (the answer “yes” is the right button). 

Try not to overcap on effects. For example, don’t use two active Attack Up effects Oriko, have Manaka use her Doppel, then have Manaka connect to Oriko. Attack Up has a cap of 100%, and anything over that is completely wasted. Space stuff out over turns, or use a variety of different memoria to provide different buffs.

Conclusion

I hope this helps! I think I covered everything...? You might notice that some of these screenshots come from different events because I was lazy because this took a little while to write.

There are lots of strategies you can use for this challenge. But this one is for new players/F2P players who don’t have a lot of good units/memoria yet. Eventually you’ll outgrow this team and have better characters to use. There are all sorts of cool strategies one can employ with the right characters; lots of people will try to finish the Hundred Evil fights with as few turns as possible using Charge strategies for example. 

But, if you need a tried-and-true method of defeating the Hundred Evils with easy-to-aquire characters, then the above method is for you. Good luck out there, you can do it!

[sheerfreesia007]

Down

Title: Down

Pairing: Marcus Pike x Reader

Author: @sheerfreesia007​​

Words: 2,979

Warnings: Fluff, Insecurity, Mutual Pining, Idiots being idiots

Permanent Tag List: @paintballkid711​, @fioccodineveautunnale​

Author Notes: I feel like this a little bit all over the place. I was inspired by the song “Down” by 5th Harmony. And I wanted the reader to show Marcus how much she sees him as a good partner. I don’t know if I’ve done this but I hope you enjoy it anyway. Feedback is much apprecaited!

Gif Credit: @pascalitopike​

         It was another late night in the office. You were sitting in one of the conference rooms with files and papers strewn about around you as you worked. Steady footsteps sounded from behind you and you didn’t bother turning around as you heard the soft sigh.

         “You alright Pike?” you asked as you poured over another page of information. The agent that had joined your department in D.C. about two months ago had quickly shown that he was leadership material and had risen up in the department. You hadn’t even been upset when he had slid into the leadership role for your department that you were aiming for; he was that much a leading force that you couldn’t argue with the promotion.

         But something did surprise you about the agent. As much as he was a driving force as a leader he still had insecurities. Rather large ones about his ability in the romance department. Which you found confusing as since you found the man to be as handsome as someone could be. His dark chestnut hair fell over his face looked soft and made you want to run your fingers through it. His warm chocolate eyes were so expressive if you actually looked at him, they mostly held kindness and happiness but sometimes you’d seen them hold anger and determination. They had also held sadness and uncertainty in them, and it was those emotions that you picked up on that made you want to rub a hand across his back and lean in whispering to him that everything would be alright.

         Marcus Pike had slowly but surely wormed his way into your life and taken up residence in not only your daily life but your mind and heart. But while you had started to grow feelings for him you knew that he didn’t reciprocate them towards you and you had slowly become accepting of that fact. It hurt, fuck did it hurt but you were more than happy to have him as a close friend and confidante. That was the best thing about Marcus he gave his all in any situation whether it be at work or in out of work. He was a man who gave in 100% effort in everything he did and that was commendable.

         “Yeah I’m alright.” He said dejectedly and you looked over at him as he came to sit next to you in one of the chairs. You watched him silently for a minute as he linked his hands together and rested them over his stomach as he leaned back in the chair. Something was bothering him, and you knew after working with him for months now that his mind would be elsewhere while you tried to work. “How’s the case coming along?” he asked softly as he nodded at the table.

         “It’s coming. I’m slowly working through the paperwork the local P.D. gave us. It’s just a lot to get through. Some reports they had pertain to our case others not so much. It’s just having to read through all of them to figure out if they’re pertinent.” You explained with a wave of your hand at all of your scattered papers.

         “I can help.” He said easily as he leaned forward and reached for a stack of papers. You quickly slapped his hand away and he looked over at you surprised.

         “Nah-uh. First of all that’s the not relevant pile I’ve got going.” You explained pointing your finger at the pile he tried going for.

         “How is any of this in order?” he asked in awe as he took in the random piles around your seat. You frowned over at him and huffed out an irritated breath.

         “Seriously Pike? We’ve been working together for almost three months. I would hope by now that you know the method to my madness.” You griped at him with a scowl and furrowed eyebrows. You didn’t want to admit it but it did hurt that he didn’t seem to understand the way you worked after all this time.

         “You’re right I’m sorry. I do know how you work I’m just distracted.” He admitted softly with a sigh.

         “Which brings me to point number two. You’re not helping me until we work out whatever it is that’s bothering you. You wouldn’t be helping me anyway if you’re distracted with whatever issue is going on with you.” You said sincerely as you looked over at him kindly. Marcus turned his eyes away from you with a guilty look. “Wanna talk about it?” you asked softly as you turned your chair to face him. Marcus didn’t look at you and didn’t say anything to you making you sigh softly. “Look if you don’t wanna talk about it tonight that’s fine but go home. You’re no good to me distracted. And I gotta get through at least a quarter of these before tomorrow.” You said honestly as you looked back at the table of papers.

         “Do you think I’m attractive?” Marcus asked suddenly and the sudden change of topic made your head whip to stare at him flabbergasted. You felt your pulse rise and your heart started to race in your chest.

         “Excuse me?” you asked confused. Did he know? Fuck he knew didn’t he? How did he find out? Fuck this was horrible. You were going to have to transfer weren’t you? Your mind was racing with worst case scenarios and you could feel your breath catch in your throat.

         “Do you find me attractive?” he asked again and you noticed that he wasn’t looking at you but down at his hands which were back in his lap. “I mean would I make a good boyfriend?” he asked suddenly sound so insecure that your heart shattered in your chest. Who hurt him like this? You knew he was divorced and had dated some women that didn’t work out but lately you hadn’t heard if he was dating again. “I just-I mean I went on a date last night.” He explained.

         You darted your eyes over to him and felt your body sag in disappointment. Your heart that had slowly been piecing itself back together was crumbling again in your chest at his words. What you wouldn’t give to take this man on a date.

         “And I thought it was going great you know? I took her to nice restaurant; we talked for hours during dinner. We shared some interests. And I didn’t think I was too eager during the date but at the end of it she told me-“ he explained softly before cutting himself off.

         You reached a hand over and placed it on his bicep softly. You watched as his head turned to look at your hand and then over towards you. Smiling kindly at him you nodded your head in gesture for him to continue.

         “She said that it wasn’t going to work out. That I wasn’t what she was looking for.” He finished so quietly that you barely heard him. He dropped his head forward in defeat and you let him a moment to feel sorry for himself and then you tightened your hand on his bicep.

         “Fuck her.” You said lowly but in a firm tone. Marcus’ head jerked up and looked at you with wide eyes filled with shock. “I’m serious. Fuck her.” You reiterated firmly nodding your head. Marcus moved like he was going to start defending her but you lifted your hand from his bicep in front of him in a stop motion. “If you start defending her I’m going to punch you.” You warned and Marcus stopped instantly staring at you with wide eyes but he shut his mouth silently.

         Standing from your chair you began to pace the floor in anxious agitation in your bare feet. It had been hours ago when you had taken your heels off and the feel of the carpet under your toes seemed to ground you enough to begin talking again. Marcus just sat there staring at you with wide eyes as he tracked your pacing.

         “Seriously Pike? Do you really feel like you’re not attractive or wouldn’t be a good boyfriend all because some woman said it wouldn’t work out after one date?” you began your one sided tirade as you continued to pace. You swung back to face him and threw a shrewd look at him. “If you need constant validation that you’re a good man and would make a wonderful partner then you’re not the man I’ve been working with.” You said harshly and continued your pacing again without looking over at him. “Look dating sucks. There’s so much pressure to make a good impression on the other person to get that second date that it’s no wonder that people give up on dating after a few fails. Take it from me I know. But seriously? Nothing worth having comes easy.” You said empathically as you paced away from him.

         “Did you just quote one of those inspirational quotes to me?” Marcus asked softly in disbelief from behind you. You whirled around and glared at him as you began stalking over to him.

         “It fits this issue doesn’t it?” you asked almost coldly. Why were you feeling so angry about this? Why were you so determined to make him believe he was worth the effort?

         “I guess it does. But it still doesn’t ease any of my worry that I would make a good partner to someone.” Marcus says almost dismissively with a wave of his hand.

         “Well fuck you too Pike.” You snapped at him and crossed your arms over your chest. Your eyes widened slightly but then narrowed on him as he jerked his head back to you. “What do you call us then? We’re partners aren’t we?”

         “Yeah but that’s different. We’re partners at work.” He tried to reason and you glared at him until he stopped talking.

         “So you being a good partner at work doesn’t matter?” you asked lowly and watched as Marcus watched you discerningly. “You’re not only a good man you’re a great partner. You have the brains to figure out most of the crimes that we come across. You not only know how to firm and commanding of our team but you also know how to kind and emphatic towards the victims that we deal with.” You begin listing off to him to try and show him that he was worth it. “You would make an excellent boyfriend Pike. You’re willing to be there for your partner no matter what, you’ve shown that not only to me but also to the rest of our team. You put people before yourself almost to a fault.”

         You begin pacing again feeling like you’re on a roll explaining to him that he is a good partner and how much a catch he is.

         “And yeah you’re attractive. You’ve got this whole suave without trying thing going for you. And while I give you shit for that patchy scruff on your face you call a beard it fits your face and makes you look ruggedly handsome.” You say as you wave your hands in the air around you while you continue to pace. You don’t notice Marcus sitting up straighter in his seat as he turns his head to you. “You got nice looking hair that looks like all you did was roll out of bed and run a hand through it. It’s so soft looking too. Do you know how many women would kill to have effortless hair like you? Millions.” You don’t realize you’re starting to ramble now and Marcus is watching you with a contemplative look on his face. “Your eyes are a pretty chocolate color that have hints of gold in them that just make them shine. And your nose while I think it’s your least favorite feature. If I remember correctly you once told me you thought it was too big. It’s prominent yeah but it fits you, it’s a strong nose that you shouldn’t be ashamed of.” You continue on.

         Marcus is watching you now and he’s starting to feel a little hot under the collar at all of your compliments. That conversation had only been in passing as you and your team had all sat around this conference table just shooting the shit. Talking about things you would’ve changed about yourself if you could. Marcus remembers that he had mentioned he’d change his nose because it was an insecurity, and if he remembers you hadn’t partaken in that conversation easily dodging the question. But you had remembered that conversation from a month ago.

         Looking back over at you Marcus tuned back into your rambling as he watched to speak passionately about him feeling insecure, when you obviously thought he shouldn’t.

         “You’ve got so much to bring to a relationship and maybe one day you will find someone who actually sees that for themselves. And it’s a pity that you don’t see that either. Because I see it.” You conclude with a soft sigh. Marcus watches as you stand next to your chair resting a hand on the table and drop your head between your shoulders. You see it. Marcus tilts his head as he watches you take in a breath and shake your head slightly before you sit back into your chair. “Go home Pike I’ll finish up here and make sure the lights are turned off.” You say wearily without looking over at him. You see it. Marcus furrows his eyebrows slightly.

         He’s thinking back on all the memories he has with you. The way you would grow quiet when he would talk about his dates that he would infrequently go on. Or the way you would watch his six whenever you went into the field together. The way you always pick up coffee for him if you knew he had been working late the night before. Marcus darts his eyes over to you and sees you pouring over another sheet of paper in your hands not paying any mind to him. Your hair is pulled back away from your face and your eyes are darting around the page as your mouth purses into an adorable pout.

         He wonders if you’ve seen the way he takes care of you as well. The way he’s always checked in on you during the work day. The way he’ll always make sure you’ve eaten and that you don’t stay too late at the office. He wonders if you’ve seen the way his hand would find the small of your back when you’re out in the field together working together. Or the way he likes keeping you close just so he knows you’re safe. He wonders if you’ve seen the way his heart beats harder when he’s alone with you. Or the way he had to pull his hands back when he wants to touch you. He wonders if you’ve seen the way he’s fallen hard for you and dates other women to try to distract him from you. And he wonders if you’ve seen the way he doesn’t talk about those dates because he’s seen that it upsets you.

         “How long have you seen it?” he asks suddenly and you’re jolting in surprise. He grins softly wondering if you had completely forgotten he was there.

         “What?” you ask confused as you squint your eyes at him in that way he knows means you’re trying to figure out his angle.

         “How long have you seen that I would make a good partner?” he asks softly and watches as your eyes dart over to him and wave your hand dismissively.

         “Since I’ve met you.” You said nonchalantly shrugging your shoulders.

         “And you didn’t think to mention anything whenever I’ve brought up my other dates?” he asked softly.

         “Marcus, what was I supposed to say? That I think all the women you’ve dated are idiots and weren’t good for you? I’m pretty sure I have said that before.” You gripped at him with a tired huff. “If they can’t see that you’re a good looking compassionate man then their loss. You need to find someone who can see that and more about you.”

         “Like you?” he asks almost breathlessly. Your face darts up to him and he sees the hurt in your face, but he doesn’t understand why you’re feeling hurt.

         “Don’t patronize me.” You say lowly and Marcus shakes his head.

         “I’m not, you said you see it. And obviously you have seen it for some time. Why didn’t you tell me?” he asks persistently now.

         “Yeah that would’ve been a great conversation Marcus. Let me just tell my coworker I’m in love with him and that’s he’s too blind and stupid to notice it.” You say sarcastically. It’s quiet for a span of time when you whisper out. “Fuck.”

         Marcus’ eyes are dancing delightedly across your frame as you slump forward resting your head on the table with a thud. He chuckles softly and shakes his head at your antics.

         “Well if I’m blind and stupid so are you.” He quips back to you and grins as you turn your head to look at him with a scowl.

         “What are you talking about?” you grouse at him with that scowl and furrowed eyebrow look you give him when he’s annoying you.

         “I didn’t notice that you were in love me but you also didn’t notice that I fallen in love with you either sweetheart.” He bantered to you with a grin. Your eyes widen and your lips part with a soft pant.

         “For real life?” you ask breathlessly as you lift your head for the table and Marcus chuckles softly at you as he moves closer to you.

         “For real life.” He says lowly as his hands cup your face and bring you closer as he presses his lips to yours.

[tripleaxeldiaz]

all was golden when the day met the night

chapter 1/5

for @hearteyesforbuck (it’s for EVERYONE but definitely for eli)

read on ao3

Eddie’s bad at words. 

He can talk, of course, will happily go on for hours about how great Christopher’s latest art project is, can give a sermon about the Rangers’ chances of winning the World Series. But when it comes to discussing what’s happening in his brain, the gloomy, sticky parts that follow him around and keep him awake, he clams up. Keeps them locked in because it’s easier than exposing to anyone just how gross it all is, how dark everything is, how dark he is. He wants to talk about things, he does. Wants to make sure Chris knows that he should talk about his feelings, especially the bad ones. And he does his best to be open with him as well, but he’s the only one he seems to be able to do that with. Anyone else — his parents, Abuela, Shannon — he just...can’t. He’d rather save them the trouble.

Eddie’s bad at words, but he’s good at flowers.

He partially blames Abuela for making him spend hours with her in her garden when he was a kid. She taught him different planting methods, how to cut the flowers so they stayed alive longer, and a few basic meanings she learned from Good Housekeeping. After his first tour, they didn’t have the money for him to even try and get into med school, so he got a job at a local flower shop to help with their landscaping team. The owner, Mrs. Negrelli, saw he was better with the roses than the mulch and took him under her wing, teaching him everything she knew. When she retired shortly after Shannon left, she handed him a check with a lot of zeros and said, “It’s time to go plant your own seeds.”

So he did. The Greenhouse has been up and running for just over a year, and it may very well be the best year Eddie’s had in a long time. They’re in a small plaza just outside of LA proper, with an apartment above the shop that makes early morning deliveries much less horrible. Chris is doing great in school (“very popular and excellent in all subject areas”, according to his homeroom teacher) and he’s made some good friends with the other local business owners. It’s the peaceful, quiet life he always dreamed of having when he finally got out of the Army.

Peaceful except for—

“Morning, Diazes!”

“Dad! Buck’s here!”

Eddie pokes his head through the doorway from the back room in time to see his son crash into his friend’s legs, Buck scooping him up and throwing him over his shoulder. Chris laughs loudly, echoing through the whole shop, and starts talking animatedly about his latest drawing when Buck sets him on the counter. He listens intently, throwing a wink towards Eddie when he catches him lingering a few feet away.

As usual, Eddie has to school his face into something other than heart eyes as he watches the two chat. Buck’s in his standard uniform of ripped black jeans that hug his thighs in all the right places and a t-shirt featuring some grungy rock band he’s never heard of. He’s a stark contrast against the rows of hyacinths and magnolias currently on the wall, and Eddie feels a blush rise on his cheeks as he tries (and fails) to stop staring.

When he first met Buck, he was pretty sure he was getting robbed. When a six foot whatever stranger in all black and combat boots and covered in tattoos comes barreling into your newly opened flower shop, that’s kind of the first place your mind goes. He had 9 and 1 dialed on his phone before the stranger ran up to the counter and frantically asked, “What kind of flowers can I buy to apologize to my very intimidating adoptive mother for sideswiping her brand new car?”

Eddie figured an actual criminal would have bigger problems to worry about than his mom’s Nissan.

They formally met the next day, when Buck came to thank him for the bouquet (a small arrangement of broom for humility and common rue for regret; all the yellow tended to make people happier and more likely to forgive you for being a dumbass). He told Eddie he could come by the shop anytime for a tattoo, on the house.

He’d been in Armageddon Tattoo when he was first looking for a space, had met Maddie, the co-owner, and Chimney, their head artist. If he had known the other co-owner looked like Buck, he would have signed the lease much faster. Faster still once he saw how quickly and easily he and Chris got along.

A year on and Buck’s in the shop almost every day, either to buy a bouquet or to give Chris tips on a drawing or to complain about an annoying customer who changed their mind about a design after it was halfway done.

For all the peace that Eddie’s found, Buck is the one chaotic spot that keeps his reflexes in check. He’s a microburst, a runaway firework, an ATV rolling through a field of wildflowers. He blasts his music as he drives in in the mornings, and he opens doors so hard they almost fall off their hinges.

Eddie is painfully, unbearably in love with him.

Which is funny, really, because his whole life, Eddie has always been “the good guy” or “the good son” or “the good soldier”. He was homecoming king, set multiple records on courses in Basic, and became Staff Sergeant quicker than any of his superiors had seen in years. He was always by the book, always tried to be the best, and he usually was the best. 

Until he wasn’t. Until his brain was so full of sadness and horrors that it was a battle to get out of bed each day. Until he was missing so much of Chris’s life that he might as well not have been in his life at all.

Until he wasn’t enough.

His marriage crumbled from there. He knew any path he and Shannon tried to take to move forward would be foggy with the guilt of all he hadn’t done in the past to help their family, so when she left, he didn’t go after her. And that guilt — knowing that he could have fixed it if he tried, if he had just been better — follows him wherever he goes now. He second guesses himself with Chris all the time because he knows one wrong move will lead to whispers among the PTA moms about the single dad who isn’t doing it right. He almost withdrew his lease application for the shop four times because he was constantly worried that it wouldn’t work, that he’d invest all this money and time and effort and it wouldn’t matter. He had done things by the book for so long because that was supposed to be how he succeeded. But now the books are empty and he’s in free fall, hoping he finds a soft landing before splatting on the asphalt.

When he met Buck, the complete antithesis to doing anything “by the book”, a voice whispered in his head that’s your landing. He’s the opposite of everything Eddie knew how to be, and that was thrilling to see. Freeing. To see someone living a happy life by making their own way and not giving a shit what anyone else thought. Not to mention that he was gorgeous, a gentle soul armored in chains and ink, and so unabashedly himself that he drew everyone to him like a magnet.

So Eddie fell, hard but quietly. Because on top of all that, Buck is the best friend he’s made since moving to LA, and he’ll be damned if he screws that up for himself or for Chris.

He finally gets himself moving to the counter, pulled by that damn magnet, where Buck is now showing Chris his latest tattoo — a small skull with a string of roses weaving in and out of the eye sockets and mouth on his right bicep.

“Does it mean anything?” Chris asks, running a small finger over it, taking in the detail.

“Chim says so, went on and on about how it symbolizes life after death and blah blah blah. I just thought it looked cool.”

“Peach blossoms would have been better.” Eddie mutters absently, eyes glued to Buck’s arm and the pale skin under the ink. He blinks as his words register, meeting Buck’s eyes and internally wincing. Thankfully, Buck just looks amused, not mad. “They’re a sign of longevity and immortality in some Eastern cultures. Would’ve fit the life after death idea a little better.”

“See, this is why I need you and your flower wisdom on retainer at the shop. You’d save me a lot of time researching, and our stuff would be even cooler because it would make sense.” He leans down to stage-whisper to Chris. “Between you and me, I think roses are the only flowers Chim knows how to do anyway.” Chris giggles, and Eddie huffs out a laugh too. 

“Any real flowers today, Buck?” Eddie asks. He grabs the craft paper, already knowing the answer.

“Of course! Whatever feels right to you.”

Buck gets a bouquet for the shop about once a week, claims they’re good for inspiration and help some of the more nervous clients relax among the black leather chairs and tattoo guns. Sometimes he has very specific requests (“I just want orange. Like so much orange you could die.” or “Someone asked for tulips on their arm, can I get those in every color so I can practice?”), other times he tells Eddie to put together “whatever feels right”. At first, Eddie never put too much thought into those, just used whatever he was running low on and still looked okay together. But one day, one particularly dark day, when all Eddie was doing was feeling, he took Buck’s words to heart. It was a pretty morbid bouquet — cyprus for despair, peonies for the anger that never seemed to leave him, vervain as a plea to whoever was listening to protect him from the evils of his own mind. His internal mess must have been written all over his face too, because when he handed the flowers to Buck, he just looked at him for a while, like he could feel the sadness that Eddie had physically given him, like he knew the weight of what he was holding, even though Eddie knew he didn’t really. When he said thank you, it was more sincere than usual, laced with something like empathy that Eddie wasn’t ready to look at too closely.

Buck kept those flowers alive for three weeks, said he just couldn’t bear to let them go.

Luckily for everyone, Eddie is in a much less terrible place this week. With his son’s laughter still floating in his mind, he puts together crocuses and daisies, youthful joy and innocence, and ties them together with a dark blue ribbon, Chris’s favorite color. He wraps them in paper and hands them to Buck, who beams as he helps Chris down from the counter.

“Oh, these are beautiful. Almost as beautiful as the man who arranged them.” Eddie feels his cheeks get red and sees Buck’s smile turn smug. “How much do I owe for this masterpiece?”

“Please, you haven’t paid for anything here in months.” Eddie stopped charging while he was only using almost bad flowers, and told Buck as much. He just didn’t tell him when he started using the good stuff.

“I know, but I’m a gentleman, I always have to try. Remember that when you’re older, buddy.”

“I will.” Chris replies. “Dad, we’re gonna be late for school.”

“Okay okay, go grab your backpack.” Chris heads towards the back room as Buck heads towards the front door.

“Well, I’m off to stab people with needles for fun. See you later, boys! Bye Hen!”

Eddie whips his head around and sure enough, there’s Hen, leaning on the far side of the counter, looking far too smug for Eddie’s liking.

“When did you get here?”

“My shift started 20 minutes ago, boss. Glad I got here in time for the show.”

“The show?”

“Yeah, the show. You really should get an Oscar or something for how hard you act like you’re not head over heels for that man.”

Eddie’s jaw drops and Hen cackles. He doesn’t even have time to explain himself before Chris returns with his backpack and starts shoving Eddie towards the door.

“Don’t worry,” Hen calls as she opens the register for the day, “at least you’re cute when you blush!”

Eddie pointedly ignores Chris’s questioning look as he drives, his face and neck still blazing.

He can only hope Buck is less perceptive than Hen. If not, they’re going to have to move cities. Maybe countries. Maybe to the moon.

[opheliancano]

    ❝  and there's nothing like a mad woman         what a shame she went mad         no one likes a mad woman         you made her like that ❞

CORINTH TASK: HEADCANONS

Andromeda: Talk about your character’s relationship with their siblings (if they have any).

Ophelia does not have any biological siblings that she knows of. She had adoptive siblings, but never had a particularly close relationship with any of them, as she was treated more like a nanny than a daughter. Once she left her hometown she never had contact with them again. 

Asclepius: Talk about your character’s morality. How do they decide who is morally good and who is not? What does “good” mean to them?

Ohhhhh god. This is... a good question, with kind of a complex answer I’m not sure I can put well into words? Which is kind of funny, because as a fury, Ophelia is all about justice, and she thinks that she has a good moral center. But it’s also unquestionably been warped by her own personal experiences in her human life, like a distrust for authority figures/law enforcement and the belief that following human rules do not automatically equal being a good person. She has very much her own moral code which she holds others to, in whether she deems them a “good” or not. I think it honestly just comes down to vibes, as kind of ridiculous as it sounds. She gets a feel for people and decides off of that? Which... is not the best method probably, consider how easily Ophelia could probably be manipulated. She’s one of those people who subconsciously looks for the good in others, and wants to believe it, even if she herself isn’t aware of that fact. So it’d be more easy to fool her into believing someone is good when they’re not than it would an older fury, probably. 

Atlas: Talk about how your character deals with their “responsibility” to either side of the war for the veil, if they are aware of it.

I think Ophelia sort of views herself as above it all? She’s definitely aware of it happening, has seen the power struggle between the gods in the near-century that she’s been a fury. But the way she sees it is that however it shakes out, it doesn’t really concern her? Her job is to protect the human world against these creatures the gods created to be their soldiers. On one hand, the elimination of the veil and subsequently all the supernatural creatures of the world would make it infinitely safer for humans. On the other hand, would Ophelia be considered one of the creatures that would cease to be? She was created as a sort of checks and balances to keep others from running wild, but still created into something other none the less. The question of what would happen to her should the veil fall is unclear, and while it troubles her at times, since it’s out of her grasp, she’s done a pretty good job at shoving it down and ignoring it. Her job is what matters, ultimately. 

Charon: Talk about your character’s greatest fears.

It depends on what type of fear you’re looking for, honestly. If we’re talking global scale, it’d be that something happens to herself and the other furies, and then there’s nothing left to enact justice in the mortal world. But as of right now, that doesn’t seem like much of a possibility, so it’s more of a worst case scenario type fear. On a personal level, deep down she’s concerned that she’s not particularly good at being a fury. Ophelia is aware of the fact that she has a lot of feelings, sometimes too many, and is concerned it can conflict with her ability to serve her leader properly. As much as she likes to comfort Alexios that he’ll find his footing in this new life he’s stepped into, that it only takes time and practices, there are sometimes when she wonders if that’s true. She has enough righteous fury to cover the planet and then some, sure, and when she acts out her role as a harbinger of justice, there’s no feeling like it. But sometimes the waters can get muddy, where her own emotions get involved and she’s not quite sure what the right decision would be. And she worries that she’s failing in her duty.

Chronos: Talk about how your character deals with their past.

Sad and soft immortal hours baby. That’s basically it, to be honest. She’s very reminiscent, and can get hit with bouts of nostalgia by even the littlest of triggers. It’s not something she tries to run from or even suppress, unless caught at an ill-opportune time. Ophelia probably has the healthiest coping mechanism of any of my characters, because unlike the others, she doesn’t try to pretend like those feelings don’t exist, but embraces them willingly.

Circe: Talk about how your character deals with betrayal.

She’d be heartbroken. And vengeful. Ophelia naively believes that she is a good judge of character, that the people she surrounds herself with are good people at their core. Like mentioned above, her soul wants to believe in the decency of people, even when her head tells her otherwise, which is how she could almost easily find herself falling into the trap of trusting someone she shouldn’t. So long as they don’t have a neon I’M A EVIL PERSON sign over their head, she’s usually open to giving people a fair chance. To have someone betray that trust would absolutely be a crushing experience, and greatly damage Ophelia’s faith in herself and her ability as a fury; that she would become so blind as to be fooled, when she is suppose to be acting as a hand of justice to judge the character of those around her. Depending on the betrayal, and just how deep of a wound it inflicts, it could set forth a chain reaction of her questioning every decision she’s ever made in her life as a fury, and no longer trusting her instincts. And there would absolutely be hell to pay. In the literal sense. Don’t cross someone capable of dragging your ass to the Underworld for eternal torment. 

Eros: Talk about your character’s love life, and how they see “love.”

Ophelia is a romantic at heart. I honestly believe she’s one of those people who could fall in love with anyone, because that’s just the type of heart she has. She’s had two serious relationships, both of which happened in her human life, that she put her heart and soul into in a way that hasn’t happened since. She’s had flings and relationships over the years of her immortality, and I think a part of her has fallen in love with each of them a little bit, all in different ways. But ultimately, none have been to the degree of her second love. As of right now, her girlfriend from her human life was the love of her life, and she still looks back on those memories in fondness and longing. At the same time though, she’s not crippled by it, and it hasn’t keep her from experiencing those emotions again with anyone else unlike Lykaon’s stubborn ass. She’s open to it, basically. Romanticizes it. 

Euryale: Talk about someone’s death that would hit your muse the hardest, or their greatest loss.

I don’t think Ophelia’s been exposed to much death, really. Not at least in terms of physically witnessing it. The one that hit her hardest would be the death of her first love, a soldier boy who died in World War I, but even then it almost seemed... unreal? That because there was never a body to bury that came back, she didn’t really have to acknowledge it. The same thing with her second love, the woman she knew in Chicago. Though rationally Ophelia thinks her to be dead at this point, under the assumption she lived out a normal human life, she never had to witness it firsthand. When or if it actually happens, I imagine it’ll be a sort of a reality shock. I could honestly see her even trying to travel to the Underworld to bargain with the furies for the soul of the person, if it’s someone she particularly cares about, or at least trying to seek permission to walk them through their passage into the afterlife. Losing any of the other furies would absolutely break her, but fortunately, their species is immortal with no known methods of killing them yet. 

Hektor: Talk about how your character deals with something that is out of their control.

There is very little Ophelia feels like she cannot control, in one way or another. Thus, when faced with such a problem, it perturbs her like nothing else. When something is truly, completely out of her hands, her method of dealing with it is to just ignore it. If she chooses not to acknowledge it, then it can’t affect her, right? Right. Excellent logic there.

Lamia: Talk about what other species your character would be/wants to be.

She’s very happy to be a fury, and I don’t think Ophelia would willingly trade it away for anything else. Despite the doubts she might have on whether she’s particularly good at it, she’s very grateful that Megaera gave her this gift, and would not give it up for anything. That being said, if I had to pick something else for her, when I was first playing with her character model I had her as a vampire. I think it would be interesting to mix in her strong sense of justice with a creature that’s less morally-aligned than furies are, especially one that has to feed on others to survive. Ophelia would probably be one of those vampires that’s constantly at war with her own nature, and yet using her compulsion as freely as she uses her mental manipulation currently. In her mind, she’d see herself as the hero of the story, but whether that would align with what others would view as “good” is... an interesting idea. 

Lethe: Talk about if your character would rather forget certain memories or hold on to them.

Ophelia would not give up any of her memories, not even the bad ones. Again, she’s very nostalgic by nature. Her thought process is that without the bad memories, the good ones would not hold so much meaning. You can’t experience true happiness without experiencing true sadness first, and all that type of philosophy. 

Medea: Talk about your characters thoughts on redemption, and if they think they need it or are worthy of it.

She is a big believer in redemption, though with her role as a fury, she does not think herself in need of it as Ophelia already views herself as on the right side. 

Philotes: Talk about your character’s best friends and what friendship means to them.

Again, undoubtedly the furies. @selaxamin and @alexiosflorus, in particular, although that’s easy to say when they’re the only other ones currently in the group right now. But even with others, I think it’d be true. Sela was the one that took Ophelia under her wing when she first became a fury, fulfilling the mentor role that Ophelia now serves as for Alexios. There’s few who she looks up to so reverently as Sela, and almost no one whose opinion she values more. And Alexios she’s almost completely adopted as her son, at this point. Outside of the furies, a few friends that she’s made that she’s already beginning to care a great deal for (or will come to care for) would be @silaskyun, @ajaxgriffin, @leonidaskaratasos, @winterdupont, and maybe @atlasxrose. Ophelia has never had a problem making friends wherever she goes, because the display she puts on most of the time is that of a charming, kind young woman. 

(The) Phonoi: Talk about your character’s view on murder.

Mixed. Unjustified murder is bad, obviously. She doesn’t have to be a follower of Tisiphone to know that. But at the same time, a murder can be justified. Like someone acting in retribution for a wrong. So long as it’s justifiable, or she can reason it, then Ophelia can condone it. There was actually a meme I answered on this scenario, where she walked in on Atlas committing a murder, and honestly it’s pretty accurate to how she would respond, especially if it were someone that she cares about. You can read it here if you want.

Ponos: Talk about what would make your character emotionally break.

Again, I feel like betrayal would be pretty high up there. But also, like previously mentioned as well, witnessing the death of someone she cared about. 

Tartarus: Talk about your character’s view on retribution.

It’s her whole thing, baby. What she’s been put on this earth to do. Retribution is a big part of who Ophelia is, to the point where if she witnesses an injustice happening, she cannot rest until she corrects it. It does not matter whether it happens to her, someone she knows, or even a stranger on the street. She cannot abide by immorality that harms others unnecessarily, and if the person that was wronged is unable to enact justice themselves, then she will be the one to do it. 

[saihahas]

The sheer brilliance of the Pikmin shorts

And how their success shows that a cartoon with no dialog can excel in quality.

This is going to be seperated into three portions, for each short! Short 1 will be titled in RED. Short 2 will be titled in BLUE. Short 3 will be titled in PURPLE.

SHORT 1

Short one, The Night Juicer, is my least favorite out of the three. Granted, I still really enjoy the short! But it's not memorable in comparison to the other two. It's the shortest, and plays off of what Pikmin are named after! For those not aware of Pikmin lore or the games, Pikmin were named based off of Pikpik Carrots, which are very popular on Capitan Olimar's home planet, Hocotate.

This short begins with a very cute title sequence, showing Pikmin just doing Pikmin things! Which the series is exceptional at.

The first short starts with a Red, Blue and Yellow Pikmin watching Olimar make himself an unassuming red smoothie.

A lil squeaky sound effect is made when Oli puts his hands on his hips, thats all.

ANYWAYS-

The Primary Pikmin trio all run up to Olimar as he finishes up his cup, but stop after glancing over to the side of the blender, seeing a cut up Pikpik carrot they mistake for a Red Pikmin.

This sends the trio into a frenzy, freaking out and running away from Olimar.

Oh and this

Consider my timbers, shivered. Olimar creepily walks towards them, as if it was a horror movie. The trio fantasize what will become of them once Olimar catches them, while trying to get as far away from him as possible.

Olimar corners them in the storage closet, and the trio fear the worst. Only for Olimar to daintily push them to the side, and pick up two pikpik carrots for another smoothie.

All in all, this short isn't bad! It's cute and simple, a jokey horror trope. It simply suffers the fate most pilot episodes do. The other two are much less Olimar centered, and shine as a result.

SHORT 2

Short 2, Treasure in a Bottle, is my second favorite of the trio, but it definitely is close to overtaking short 3. This series is devoid of Olimar entirely, focused on Pikmin interacting with eachother. (And our protag, a Red Pikmin's desire for the shiny)

Short 2 starts out with a Red Pikmin, lets call him Steve, in a field chasing a butterfly. He gets distracted by a bottle, and proceeds to stare at his reflection in the glass.

The ramune is giant in comparison to Steve, and then he notices the shine of the marble inside. He screams in excitement, before scaling multiple objects to reach the top of the ramune bottle. (After falling off a grass blade gently)

Steve marvels at the marble, and hops into the bottle. He notices the long way down from where the marble lies and shudders, determined to roll the marble out. He attempts several times to do so, and on his last attempt, the marble gets stuck. After a few seconds, the marble falls and steve lands at the bottom of the bottle, and can't get out. While stuck, a trio of a single red, blue and yellow Pikmin come across Steve!

After laughing about how silly he looks inside the bottle, the trio tries to come up with a plan to break Steve out. Blue suggests filling the bottle with water, so Steve floats to the top and can be pulled off. Steve quickly shuts the idea down, as all Pikmin aside from blue Pikmin can't swim. Yellow has a much more direct approach, grabbing a bomb rock and allowing it to detonate, launching the bottle into the air. Steve flies out of the bottle, but as the bottle lands on the ground, Steve falls back into the bottle.

The three watch a trio of blue pikmin latched to eachother trying to pull down a butterfly, before a purple adds too much weight and the butterfly gets away. The trio has an idea, and like that Steve is saved!!!!

But not without taking the ramune with him ;)

SHORT 3

The final and longest Pikmin short, Occupational Hazard, is easily the best of the three in my opinion. It has Olimar present, but he isn't the focus of the short, the pikmin doing their thing are!

The short starts off showing some Pikmin taking apart pieces of a large machine, carrying bits ans pieces along, with come cute slapstick type comedy throughout. The camera pans out, showing how small the pikmin are compared to PNF-404 (Earth)

A quick pan later, and Olimar appears! He's using his whistle to direct Pikmin on where to go, much like in the games. The Pikmin are catapulting eachother, two go down, one comes up. They all carry the bits of metal to the Reasearch Pod, which assesses value. The Pod takes a brief leave, panning over Olimar and the Pikmin.

What a great shot

A yellow pikmin gets catapulted, offering a bent nail, which Olimar declines. The pikmin tosses the nail over the edge, hitting a white pikmin on the head. (Which they are VERY angry about) Two blue attempt to pull up a purple Pikmin, which was definitely unsuccessful, followed by a very angry white Pikmin yelling and taking his spot, only to be flung into the stratosphere after two purple Pikmin come down the catapult.

Back to business as usual.

The camera pans to some yellow Pikmin making their way inside the machine itself! Some yellows are carrying materials, but two stop and notice a small bolt. One touches it and gets shocked, followed by both touching it, and their leaves sprout into bulbs and flash, as they made a current! A blue tries to join in on the fun, but dies, as they can't conduct electricity. Poor guy :(

A small group of Pikmin sneak off to some pipes, ready to go have some fun! A blue Pikmin kicks a red through a pipe, and we get a cute transition to the other side of the pipes! A yellow pulls out a mushroom, a red and blue pull out screws and, there's a cute mario reference with a red Pikmin! Our lovely gang finds an odd looking pipe and decide to check it out, only for it to have been the snout of a Blowhog! It spews fire before emerging from the pipes, nearly burning the group. Luckily for them, some red Pikmin take on the Blowhog, because they're fire resistant. The red Pikmin are playing with thr Blowhog, despite it still chasing their friends around breathing fire. Luckily AGAIN, the Blowhog trips, and lands in the mud, its snout being filled with it. Naturally, they decide to have fun with the mud.

Back to Olimar and the construction site, my absolute favorite piece of pikmin media occurs. (Spliced 4 convenience, sound on!!!)

Something very big in these shorts are exaggerated reactions as well as music and sound effects playing to convey a specific feeling. Pikmin do not speak, and neither does Olimar. But in these shorts, their small soundbytes are able to convey what the pikmin are saying to eachother. This method of sound design is done extremely well, and I would argue to say that if these shorts prove anything at all, it's that nintendo could make a TV series that has no dialog whatsoever, and still have the audience rolling on thr floor laughing.

Back to the mud buds, we get a few more shots of them playing before yellow gets distracted. The shiny strikes again. Yellow walks into a large oil drum, and picks up a screw. Deeper in the drum, another sparkle catches his attention. Yellow picks the second up, and finds himself at a place with several odd colored objects. One of which he kicks.

It's a Bulborb!!! And its MAD. The mud buds are in trouble, and they're running as fast as they can from the Bulborb, who gets a red and blue Pikmin into its mouth. The two manage to get out through its nostrils, giving the others enough time to make a plan to outsmart the Bulborb.

A giant glove comes out of nowhere, halting the Bulborb and hypnotizing it, before flinging itself onto its backside. The glove was being controlled by an entourage of Pikmin, and the Bulborb catches on rather quickly, biting the glove and flinging the mud buds out. They all hide in a wheel rim(?) and some slapstick ensues.

Fed up with the mud bud's antics, the Bulborb kicks the rim, but hurts his toe instead. Poor guy,,, but he had it coming.

With a cute fanfare, we quickly return to Olimar, who has scaled the machine! But now his attention turns to the Bulborb that has been oddly fascinated with the rim.

The Bulborb finally manages to free the car wheel, throwing it into the air! Once it hits the ground, the mud buds all fall out, much to Olimar's dismay. And the way he struggles while whistling for the pikmin's attention is a BIG mood for people who've played the game before.

The mud buds start running to Olimar after hearing his call, much to the Bulborb's dismay. A chase ensues, and the Blowhog appears again, with its fire abilities regained. Rhe Bulborb continues to give chase, with two Pikmin meeting their demise. Everything seems hopeless, as the buds and Bulborb are huddled into the scoop of the machine.

And we get thrown back to the yellow Pikmin's party, with several linking to eachother and sparkling. One's foot touches the other's head, completing the current and turning the machine on.

The scoop gets sent upwards, as Olimar falls and lands on a lever, causing the scoop to let loose the contents inside. Right when it seems the buds are going to hit the ground along with the Bulborb, their leaves sprout into flowers! They gently float to the ground, while the Bulborb was.... not so lucky. A heavenly light shines as the gang ascend, with triumphant music in the background.

Oh and then all 97 pikmin left go ham on the bulborb.

The machine begins to deconstruct, and fall apart. More sadly relatable whistles from Olimar ensue, and uh

This happens.

After clearing the explosion, Olimar and the Pikmin look upon the wreckage, as the Pod reappears, and takes a value of the entire machine. The Pod asseses that the wreck is 100,000,000,007 pokos, and Olimar makes a triumphant pose. The white pikmin from earlier comes crashing down during the Fin. screen.

Now for my personal thoughts, while I have had some spread throughout, my final cohesive thoughts are as stated down below. Pikmin as a franchise has been dead for a while. We got a reboot of Pikmin 3 this year, and these were reuploaded from the WiiU era. The overwhelmingly positive response from the community as well as non-pikmin fans is second to none. These short style, no dialog cartoons have worked for Nintendo for years. (If anyone remembers the Yoshi and Poochy shorts I love you) This series is phenomenal at conceying emotion, or the volume of the situation, without saying a single word. The pikmin scream in excitement, they make their little noises in anger, dings and drones are placed perfectly, so EVERYONE can understand the situation. I fully believe that more companies should view these cartoons as cartoons, and give them the spotlight as well. Each short remains the length it has to be, and shows some fun content at that. The Pikmin interacting with eachother and behaving the way they do is adorable, especially when in the Pikilopedia from the games, Olimar mentions specifically they act like toddlers. Toddlers who help him not miss his own kids as much, while stranded on PNF-404.

If you wanna give the series a view for yourself, I'll provide the thinks below!!

[smokeybrand]

Smokey brand Movie Reviews: Welcome to Equestria

I watched Horse Girl and it was one of the weirdest films i have ever seen. To be honest, i don’t really know how to approach this review because it really isn’t like any practical film i have ever watched. It is kind of it’s own thing and, while i dig that, i cant really look at it like i would look at a regular movie. Watching this thing gave me the same feeling i had watching Under the Skin and that thing is incomprehensible. F*cking brilliant but absolutely boggling. I’m going to try and articulate my impressions of this “movie” to the best of my abilities. There probably won’t be much because, you know, the boggling, but I'm definitely going to try.

The Wat

Alison Brie is excellent as the lead, Sarah. She carries this film with her performance. Horse Girl would not work is Brie was not as vulnerable and human as she was in this thing. Watching her spiral for a good portion of this film, not knowing if what she is experience is real or is she’s having literal psychotic episodes was difficult to watch. You feel for her in so many ways because it’s very apparent that Sarah needs help and no one really knows how to make that happen. There is a very real sadness that underlies her Sarah’s entire experience during these events. It’s quiet an cruel. It is true pleasure watching Brie deliver such a nuanced and emotional performance. Sarah is easily one of Brie’s best.

The editing this thing is something else. It’s not spastic or crazy but there is a subtle mania to it all that hits you in ways you don’t expect. It’s very methodical, very calculation, and it jars you. The way this thing is cut throws you off an you never really recover. This movie keeps you off balance and just rushes toward the end on this slope. It’s quite unnerving

The score goes a long way to keep that imbalance. It’s never jarring or intense. Everything is upbeat and artificial. Artificial is a great way to describe it. The music behind these scenes feels like someone smiling on the outside but sobbing on the inside, if that makes sense. That’s how i fell hearing this music. It’s very conflicting because you know there is something really wrong but nothing shows you that. Nothing hits your ear with that. But you still know. It’s off.

I really liked the visual representation of the dreams Sarah was having. They were very sterile, very mechanical. The starkness contrasted certain, other, aspect perfectly driving home the unearthly nature of the entire experience. Those scenes felt very much like Under the Skin.

Jeff Baena has crafted one of the weirdest, most unorthodox, cinematic experiences i have witnessed. I have seen a lot of films and this one is easily one of the weirder ones. I can’t say that it’s good direction or bad, it’s more unique than anything.

Baena also wrote the screenplay with Brie, which probably explains why this flick meshed so well. These two have had their fingerprints on every step of this film’s construction.

The supporting cast in this feels necessary but underused. I would have liked to see more of Debby Ryan and Dylan Gelula. I think we should have expanded those roles a little bit. I;m not mad about what we did get, Debby Ryan is fast becoming one of my favorite actresses, but i feel like she might have bee a little under utilized.

The narrative brought to screen is  the fever dream of a conspiracy nut and it captures that feeling perfectly. I have an idea of what i watched but I'm not really sure. I don’t know if this is a metaphor for something extremely personal or if it’s a literal situation or if it’s all in Sarah’s head. There is evidence in this thing to go any which way and, while that is usually frowned upon, i rather dig it. Ambiguity in cinema, when done right, is fantastic and i think Horse Girls does it right.

The Verdict

I couldn't really review this flick in my usual manner. It doesn’t read like a movie. It reads like a fever dream, like someone absolutely losing their sh*t. In that regard, it’s absolutely excellent. However, that mania is going to turn off a lot of people. I adore this flick. It has a really strong performance from Alison Brie and a surprisingly complimentary supporting cast. The direction is on point and the way certain shots are edited is pure brilliance. there is an eeriness in the simplicity of this film as it tells it’s complicated story. You have to engage in this movie to get the full extent of the narrative and most people won’t do that. most people will just look at this thing and just dismiss it as pretentious nonsense. This movie is so much better than that. It’s so much more than that. Horse Girl is an excellent film for people who enjoy film. You can’t cheat this thing, though. If you do, you’ll probably hate it.

[raendown]

Commission for @kitsunekage88!

Pairing: MadaraTobirama Word count: 5863 Rated: E Summary: After all the things they had gone through together and the ten long years they had been mated, Tobirama would have thought Madara understood that he didn't need gifts to stay here. There was no place he could possibly be happier than tucked under the mountain with a dragon to warm his bed and all the passion that entailed.

Follow the link or read it under the cut!

KO-FI and commission info in the header!

Light A Fire Under The Mountain

Tobirama hummed as he ran his fingers over the beautifully preserved leather before him, gold embossed lettering glittering enticingly along the spine, and smiled as he bent down to discreetly take in the scent of old parchment and ink. Just lifting the book and feeling the heavy weight of it in his hands was a thrill as he gleefully imagined all the glorious knowledge contained inside. Without even checking to see whether Madara was hidden away somewhere watching him Tobirama held the book to his chest and hurried over to their massive four poster bed, sinking himself down in to the space where he hadn’t even straightened the covers that morning and shuffled around until he’d made a perfect little nest in which to devour his latest present.

Maybe some of his lover’s habits were beginning to rub off on him. This urge to nest everywhere was starting to get a little out of hand. Not that Madara seemed to mind, really. If anything whenever Madara came across the little spaces Tobirama had claimed for one reading binge or another, small little bundles of blankets or pillows all drenched in his scent, the idiot always seemed to puff up twice as large with an odd sort of pride.

Dragons were like that, he’d come to understand, territorial and fond of marking their place. Tobirama would have thought he might object to someone else doing the same in amongst the caves where he kept his hoard but he hadn’t complained yet. If anything it seemed to please him.

His responses had started with subtle things, much to Tobirama’s surprise. Madara wasn’t exactly known for his ability to be subtle in pretty much anything but in this he at least started off well. His early gifts had been concealed as him merely showing something off that he ‘just thought Tobirama might like’, feigning surprise when the item was well received and suggesting a little too easily that Tobirama should keep it where he could find it again if he liked it so much. Over time Madara rapidly grew bored of the incidental gift charade and turned to much more obvious methods like boldly draping Tobirama in luxurious furs or leaving ancient texts prominently displayed on the bedside table like he’d done today.

Lost in the words on the page the moment he opened them across his lap, Tobirama couldn’t be sure how much time had passed or when his mate had appeared and slithered in to the space next to him. Between one moment and the next he became aware of the warmth pressing up against one side and the steady hot breathing against his wrist where Madara was peeking down at the book with something like pride in his eyes, a happy little curl of steam rising from under the massive bulk of his hair, pleased to see his gift being appreciated.

“Where did you get this?” Tobirama demanded breathlessly. “Every scholar I’ve ever spoken to has told me that every copy had been destroyed!” Madara sniffed in offense.

“Every copy was destroyed. This is not a copy, obviously.”

Suddenly the book felt so much heavier over his lap, the weight of it doubled by the knowledge that it was an original volume many would give their last copper just to have the chance to peek at. With a great deal of willpower he managed to tear his eyes from the pages and turn to grant Madara an appropriately grateful kiss. “I would love to hear the story of how you came to possess such a valuable treasure.”

Madara rumbled with pleasure and nuzzled at the base of his neck. Nothing pleased a dragon more than sharing tales of treasure seeking.

Luckily he knew Tobirama well enough to know that he meant later when he wasn’t reading. Patient and long-lasting the elves might be but they were notoriously vicious when someone interrupted their deep focus and Tobirama was among the worst offenders for that. Neither of them moved very much for several more hours, not until Tobirama finished the last page and closed the cover with a deeply satisfied sigh. He most certainly would be reading this again several times to inspect every page for any extra little nuggets of information he might have looked over or passages he might have misinterpreted. Truly an excellent gift for someone like him.

Twisting down to look closer at the face lightly napping against his shoulder, Tobirama pressed a kiss against Madara's forehead to rouse him. His lover came awake with a low rumbling sound and a curl of smoke slipping out from between his teeth.

“No smoking in the bedroom,” Tobirama reminded him.

“Didn’t mean to.” He stopped immediately, the single little puff that escaped drifting up and dispersing easily. “You enjoyed the book, I see.”

“Have I ever not enjoyed one of your gifts?”

“Gifts. Hmph.” Madara rolled away from him with a throaty chuckle and Tobirama rolled his eyes. He did try to be polite in return for each present yet always he was met with this same odd laughter as though his being thankful were some sort of great inside joke.

Choosing not to dwell on the intricacies of a mad dragon’s brain, Tobirama stretched and looked around. The time-keeping device Madara had given him soon after he officially made his den here told him that he had read his way through the rest of the evening and almost the entire night cycle. Outside their mountain the sun would be waking soon and his stomach was very interested in the prospect of breakfast, having skipped dinner entirely by accident.

“Will you be greeting the sun?” he asked, legs kicking the nest of blankets apart so he could extract himself and head towards the food. Madara shot upright from where he had begun rolling in the leftover scent and hummed thoughtfully.

“Yes, it’s been a while since I gave my proper thanks.” His black eyes glowed red for a moment, the fires within stoked with excitement. Descended from the most ancient of bloodlines, only the dragons remembered the days when magic was first gifted to the world. As a creature of fire Madara owed his own embers to the sun from which he drew his power. “I should like a chance to stretch my wings as well.”

Tobirama smiled as he watched his favorite idiot scrambling about their bedroom. Why the man insisted on looking his very best in this form when it couldn’t even fly was beyond him but the ritual was important to Madara and so he said nothing like always. Instead he used the time it took his mate to get dressed to rummage through the kitchen and throw together a quick sandwich that he could carry with him up to the twisting staircase carved in to the wall just outside their bedroom, bare feet clinging to the living rock as he ascended the mountain and came out on to a small terrace overlooking the lands around them.

Watching Madara fly was always a treat no matter how many times he was honored to bear witness. Dragons being so protective of their hoards, it was rare for him to leave it undefended for any longer than it took to pop away for necessities like food. Settling down at a small table he had dragged up here just for these mornings, plate and sandwich balanced on his lap, Tobirama had only just taken his first bite when there came a thunderous roar from not far below. Black and red scales in the pattern of burning wood, Madara was without a doubt the most beautiful creature he’d ever seen with a temper to match. Perfect in every way. Tobirama nibbled his breakfast and watched those massive wings catch an updraft to ride it in lazy spirals.

Sun rituals didn’t look all that much different to him than aimless flying no matter how often Madara insisted there was a very specific flight pattern. It was still a pleasant way to start his morning, tracking the magnificent beast above him and admiring the shift of those impressive muscles, the beating of his wings, listening to the sound of his intermittent cries. Each roar echoed over the mountain range behind him and it was only the safe distance between them that allowed Tobirama’s sensitive ears to appreciate the siren sound.

It was, after all, hearing a dragon’s call in the distance that had first peaked his curiosity and led to their meeting for the first time, a woodland elf discolored and unwanted by his own tribe facing off against a fire dragon with teeth bared and body tensed to defend the territory he had claimed.

The sun had risen well over the horizon and the sky turned from golden dawn to clear midmorning by the time Madara finally returned, diving for the mountain he had made his home and tucking his wings in at the last second to slide his bulk in to one of the open rooms down below. Tobirama wriggled his toes and contemplated going down to greet him but he wasn’t overly fond of the lower rooms, half open to the world outside to give Madara a space to change his form, to take off from and land again. Without those rooms he would have had to crawl out the top of the mountain every time he wanted to fly. Since Tobirama had no need of so much space he preferred to stay in the upper floors where no breeze could flutter the pages of whatever books he chose to surround himself with.

Eventually he lingered on the terrace long enough for Madara to come find him and pull him back inside. Seeing the invigorated look in his eye, Tobirama followed along easily, allowing himself to be pushed back down in to their bed again for a bit of exercise they could both benefit from.

He napped afterwards, all the sleep he’d missed the night before catching up with him and sending him in to dreams almost before they could clean up after themselves.

When he woke again a light weight lay over him and he assumed that Madara had covered him with blankets until he shifted and something foreign brushed against his cheek. Peeking one eye open, he stared in sleepy confusion at the soft white strands in front of his face, wondering in the manner of someone still caught in a dream when his hair had grown so long. It wasn’t until he opened the other eye and the last remnants of sleep fell away that he realized it wasn’t his own hair but some kind of fur. Sitting up caused the fur to spill down around him, draping across his lap where he spent several minutes doing nothing but running his fingers through the soft white pelt.

Checking the room to make sure he was alone, Tobirama freed his legs and stood up to properly appreciate this latest gift. Lifting it high revealed that the fur was only part of it, that it wasn’t a blanket at all but instead a luxurious cloak with a thick fur collar that would cover both shoulder and partway down his back. From underneath all that fur blue silk flowed down to pool at his feet like cool water. Even considering the full chest of gorgeous clothing in their closet this was far and away the finest thing he had ever owned.

The cloak settled around his shoulders with the weight of an old friend, familiar in a way that made him wonder if there wasn’t some sort of enchantment hidden in the weave of the silk. As he turned this way and that to admire the material it shifted with him like a second skin so comfortable that he knew it would see a fair amount of use even outside of the colder seasons. It was always at least a little cold inside a mountain, after all.

He needed a place to admire this gift properly.

Madara found him dawdling in front of the tall mirror set up in one corner of the room where all the more glittery bits of his hoard were kept, the jewels and crowns he had wrestled from kings of all sorts, the gems and crystals he had stolen from miserly dwarves, weapons and armor polished and restored after defeating whichever knight wore it here in the hopes of conquering a dragon. Although Tobirama spotted his partner’s reflection as soon as it appeared he said nothing at first, only twisted his shoulders to admire the fall of silk again and revel in the hot eyes watching him from the doorway.

“It looks perfect on you,” Madara said at last. “Just as I thought it would.” His chest was puffed up and his face smug as he strutted across the room to nuzzle at the back of Tobirama’s neck.

“You continue to surprise me with your excellent taste,” Tobirama admitted. He laughed at the offended puff of air that displaced his hair and ducked away from the fingers coming up to flick reprovingly at his pointed ears.

“Surprised. Hmph. I’ll have you know I have always had good taste; I was the one who collected all these things in the first place, you know.” He paused and Tobirama could see the way his left eye twitched with information withheld. It took only a few seconds before he added, “I did have you in mind when I collected many of them, however.”

Tobirama nodded, unsurprised. He’d known from the moment he accepted a formal courtship that Madara would be seeking proper gifts to bestow upon him, though he would have thought that the well of potential offerings would have run out after they finally marked each other as an eternal partnership and he settled in to make his home here. A frown touched his brow as he thought about it a little more deeply. It had never occurred to him before but he wondered if Madara felt that he needed gifts to stay; not a pleasant thought.

“Perhaps I missed something when I studied dragon courtships; is it traditional to continue presenting gifts after the courtship is completed?” Hopefully asking his question in a roundabout manner would save Madara's pride from any potential bruising.

“I’m not sure I know what you mean.” Their gazes met in the mirror’s reflection and Madara cocked his head in question, curious little embers dancing in his eyes.

“The gifts that you give me. Like this one here.” Tobirama lifted a hand to fondly stroke the fur draped about his shoulders. “I was only wondering if all your kind continued the tradition after the courting was over or if that was something specific to you.” He rather hoped it was only in the man’s blood. The idea that Madara thought he needed bribes to stay did not sit well in his chest.

“You weren’t joking?”

Carefully turning around so their eyes could meet face to face, Tobirama frowned. “Joking?”

“When you call them gifts; I always thought it was just a little inside joke. Huh. None of the things I bring to you are gifts, Tobirama. All of these things already belong to you. I’m just…bringing you the pieces you haven’t found for yourself yet, the ones I know you’ll like best. I know you’ve no use for jewels and such.” Madara shrugged as though what he was saying made any sort of sense, casual and unconcerned.

“If they’re not gifts then how can they already belong to me? Aren’t they part of your hoard?”

Tobirama watched Madara narrow his eyes as though checking to make sure he was serious. Then they widened and he really didn’t think he deserved that looked of surprised distress. All he’d done was ask a question, he had meant to make his partner sad!

“I suppose I never bothered to explain properly but, in my defense, I thought you would have realized on your own. We’re mated. That makes this our hoard. Everything that I have gathered in my lifetime, everything inside this mountain and the territory I have claimed, all of it belongs to you just as much as it belongs to me. You’ve only been here for less than a decade, though, not enough time by far to sift through it all, so I thought you would like it if I helped you find all the pieces you would be most excited by.” As he spoke Madara rubbed a pinch of silk between two fingers, fiddling with the cloth to give himself somewhere else to look instead of meeting Tobirama’s eyes

“Everything here belongs to me too? But this is your hoard.”

“And?” Madara met his gaze again almost challengingly.

Trading as carefully as he could, Tobirama tried to explain the hesitance he was feeling. “You explained to me once how deeply personal and treasured your collection is to you, how every piece down to the last stitch on a bit of clothing is like a part of yourself, and I remember how you described what it felt like the time someone actually managed to take some of it away from you.”

Madara shivered with horror, echoes of that terrible day shadowing his face even now centuries later.

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to bring up bad memories.” Tobirama touched his partner’s face with gentle fingers. “All I meant was that I understand how deeply personal every item in this mountain is and I don’t want you to feel like you need to…I suppose I don’t know what I mean.”

“Everything I am is yours,” Madara told him, simple words for the incredible depth they carried.

Tobirama found his hand dropping, unsure of how to respond to that. Of course he knew that Madara loved him, how could he not after all they had gone through together during their courtship, and the fact that they had both come out the other side agreeing that spending the next several millennia of their lives was something they both wanted pretty much spoke for itself. Theirs was a particularly strong bond even among either of their kinds.

But for his partner to consider the deepest most sacred part of himself as belonging to both of them, that was so far beyond anything he could have ever asked of someone else. Overwhelmed by the very thought, touched in a way he couldn’t describe without somehow accidentally insulting the other, Tobirama pulled Madara closer to where he could duck his head for a slow kiss. That usually worked out for him more than trying to put his feelings in to words and after the years they had already spent together he’d learned that it was safer as well. Neither of them were overly fond of words where a soft kiss could communicate their feelings just as easily; it was one of the reasons they worked so well together.

A quiet sound of contentment escaped him as they pulled apart and Tobirama allowed his eyes to stay shut when he felt surprisingly gentle fingers combing through his hair. He kept them closed even after those fingers left his hair to trace the markings on his cheeks, brushing down the sides of his neck to follow those markings down to where they disappeared under his collar, but he did open his eyes again when he felt something plucking at the buttons on his shirt.

Madara was looking back from under the shadow of his bangs, his face pulled in to an uncharacteristically soft expression. The corners of his mouth tilted up in a quiet smile and his hands continued to pluck at Tobirama’s buttons without actually attempting to undo any of them. It was such new behavior that it actually took a minute or so for Tobirama to understand what his partner was asking.

When he did understand he responded with a smile of his own and a sigh of amused exasperation, asking, “Can you never just ask for things like a normal person?”

“You would get bored of me in less than a month,” Madara predicted.

“I haven’t gotten bored of you yet.”

“Good.” One last tug on his buttons and then Madara slipped closer to nuzzle the underside of his jaw. “Because I plan to keep you for many centuries and never let another creature touch you. You belong only to me.”

“Possessive,” Tobirama accused him. They both knew he didn’t really mind.

Without even bothering to respond to that Madara pulled him in for another kiss and slid both hands up his chest with a slight pressure, not so much pushing but guiding him backwards. Tobirama caught his partner’s hips in a firm grip to keep their bodies together as he allowed himself to be guided towards the other side of the room where a convenient pile of silks and furs lay stacked in one corner. It certainly wouldn’t be the first time they had taken advantage of this little haven, as evidenced by the shirt still half buried under a particularly soft mink pelt, a remnant of the passions in days past.

As he was pressed down in to the nest of furs Tobirama drew Madara in to his lap with a questioning look. His response was a hot kiss and the appearance of a small jade bottle in his partner’s hand. When Madara might have had time to grab the oil from their bedroom he didn’t know, though the possibility could not be discounted that he’d simply been carrying it around again like he did some times on the off chance they found themselves overwhelmed by each other in a room too far away from anything that counted as lubricant.

“Like this?” Tobirama murmured between kisses. Madara nodded and pressed the oil in to his hands.

“Undress me.” The demand was breathy and quiet but it was still a demand and Tobirama couldn’t help but let a huff of laughter escape him. Even in submission his mate was bossy and arrogant.

Still he did as he was asked. He couldn’t deny that it was a treat every time he had the chance to slowly peel the layers away from the man sitting astride his lap, all that well-toned muscle and miles of pale skin revealed for his pleasure inch by glorious inch. Never was he more thankful that Madara tended to dress in easily removable clothing than moments like this. The deep purple yukata fell away to crumple on the floor without care, white hadajuban following quickly afterwards. He snapped his teeth playfully when Tobirama toyed with the ends of his fundoshi but bent down for a kiss when he felt it finally tugged open and away from his skin.

Then it was only Tobirama who was overdressed in the beautiful cloak that he found himself quite unwilling to remove. Luckily for him Madara seemed to be thinking along similar lines, grazing his palm down the fur over one shoulder and exposing his teeth with a grin.

“You look like an important lord about to tumble his courtesan.”

“As if I would ever,” Tobirama sniffed, unsure if he was more offended on his own behalf or on Madara's considering what that scenario implied about either of them.

“Does Tobirama-sama not wish to be pleasured?” Madara asked. His innocent expression was the very definition of a wolf in sheep’s clothing – or a wolf in dragon’s scales, as it were. No matter how tempting the idea was Tobirama knew better than to be fooled in to believing Madara would demure himself in such a way.

Solicitous of his mate he might be, yes, but a dragon’s pride could only allow for so much.

“Are you going to ride me or not?” Tobirama asked, trying to resist the twitching of his lips and failing spectacularly.

“Have you no class at all?” Madara despaired. “I am going to make love to you. And you’re going to enjoy yourself and be thoroughly appreciative.”

“Am I?”

“Yes. Because I said so. Now are you going to actually get moving or am I going to have to open myself?”

Much as Tobirama did enjoy the vision of having Madara spread across his lap while the man rode his own fingers he may also have learned to be a tad possessive himself over the course of their relationship. The act of giving pleasure had grown to be something he enjoyed just as much and sometimes almost more than receiving it for himself, an unexpected byproduct of witnessing just how open Madara was with expressing his pleasure.

The jade bottle clinking against the stone floor when he set aside, a small pool of oil in one palm and a lightness in his chest as he bade Madara lean forward so he could reach around and stroke at his entrance, spreading the oil liberally before slipping one finger in without warning. Madara arched against him with a breathy curse. Not giving him even a moment to recover, Tobirama worked his finger in and out until he had his partner helplessly rocking with the motion. Then he added another and bit his lip against the sound that groaned in his ear.

Since neither one of them had ever been known to win any awards for their patience it pretty much par for the course that Tobirama didn’t spend too much extra time on opening his partner. He saw little point in it when he wasn’t in a position to also enjoy the delicious visuals or at least restrain the other man for some proper teasing. Now wasn’t the time for any of that. Right now he was much more interested in keeping their bodies as close as possible and nipping at Madara's bottom lip to distract him from the third finger working its way inside. It worked perhaps a little too well and he soon found himself only barely avoiding the fangs hidden just out of sight.

“If you bite me with those I will stop and make you bandage me too.”

“Spoilsport.” Madara licked over the scar on Tobirama’s shoulder where he had left his mark the first time they mated properly. “Can you blame me for wanting to claim what’s mine as often as possible?”

Tobirama responded by curling his fingers just a little shy of where he knew they were most wanted. When Madara began to squirm and shift in an attempt to encourage him in to that spot he pulled his fingers away entirely and ignored the grumbled protests as he used his clean hand to pat the man on one hip, leaning forward to stay close until Madara had shuffled back enough that they could both fumble in the limited space between them, fingers tangling together as they struggled to open the only layer of clothing left between them.

Finally his yukata opened and Tobirama preened under the sweep of hot eyes down his form. With his clothing opened but not removed and such a fine cloak still clasped about his shoulders he supposed he probably did look like some noble lord waiting to be pleasured. Straightening his shoulders to play up the part, he returned one hand to Madara's hip so he could guide their bodies in to place for them to come together at last, always his favorite part. By its very nature sex felt good and brought the two of them closer together but the moment of that final connection, sliding inside of Madara's body and knowing that they would never be more one, that moment never failed to awe him even during the filthiest, most raw acts of base lust.

Waiting for his partner to adjust was a necessary torture that Tobirama distracted them both from with palms tracing over muscular thighs and tongue tracing patterns on the top of one shoulder. By the time Madara lifted his hips and sank back down with a soft groan it was hard to tell whether he was more breathless from the sensation of being filled or just from the blood rushing through his veins, heartbeat thundering so loudly Tobirama’s sensitive ears could just barely pick up the echo.

For all the energy sparking under their skin, however, neither of them moved with any sort of hurry. Madara rolled his hips at a languid pace while Tobirama rocked ever so slightly beneath him, more of a hindrance than a help, unable to stop himself from seeking out more of that tight heat every time it drew away from him and sighing with pleasure every time he was enveloped in bliss once more. When smoke began to gather between Madara's teeth they kissed again just to feel the thrill of danger, knowing his fire could erupt at the slightest loss of control.

As they moved together Tobirama found the world outside of their little nest falling away. Nothing else existed but for the strong thighs bracketing his own, the soft furs underneath them tickling his skin, the taste of smoke and the brush of Madara's voluminous hair falling around them like a curtain. Each time he opened his eyes he saw nothing but the coal of Madara's own staring back at him with that special brand of possessive adoration he had fallen in love with almost before he had agreed to a formal courtship. Nothing had ever made him feel as important as he did when he stood in the spotlight of Madara's attention, the center of his entire universe. The way his partner looked at him in times like now left no doubts in Tobirama’s mind that Madara was thinking of anything but him and the way they fit together.

Letting go of one writhing hip, Tobirama brought the hand still slippery with oil between them and waited until Madara lifted himself up to work that hand underneath at such an angle that he could feel the point where they connected. Madara paused to shudder violently and whined with impatience in a sure sign that he was getting close. Feeling merciful, Tobirama slowly retracted his hand, tracing along the perineum and cupping Madara's sacs on the way to wrap his fingers around the poor neglected shaft brushing against his belly.

With one firm stroke it was clear that neither of them would last very long. Just seeing the expression of bliss above him as they took up their unsteady rhythm again set a fire inside that would make his partner proud. He did his best to keep his strokes in time with Madara's movements but at the same time he found it harder and harder to concentrate the closer he drew to that edge he was racing for.

So focused was he that it actually startled him when Madara leaned forward to burrow in to the side of his neck, hips still working and back arched in an almost obscene visual treat.

“Don’t stop,” he commanded with his syllables cracked and broken around his shuddering breaths. Tobirama swore and used the hand still loosely wrapped around the man’s hip to guide him gently to another angle.

“Just- yeah there, fuck, hold on.” It took a slightly awkward roll of his own hips but he managed to get the angle he was looking for.

Madara swore furiously as he finally got some friction against his prostate. Every muscle in his body clenched and it seemed more of a visceral reaction when he slammed himself back down again rather than any sort of intentional movement. He came with a sharp cry and as he tightened even further around the length inside him he pulled Tobirama over the edge as well, both of them clinging to the other and moving together in desperate incoordination.

When he finally fell still Madara was gasping for air and pushing his face behind Tobirama’s shoulder to breath thick plumes of smoke against the furs. Tobirama held him there with one hand against the small of his back, the other still trapped between them, and could think only that he hoped the furs didn’t catch fire because the last thing he wanted at that moment was to be forced in to sudden movements. Anything other than lying here in the nest they had made and claimed sounded abhorrent. Sometimes Tobirama wondered if other mated couples felt even half as needy as they did, though it was usually a quick thought hastily discarded since there was very little he cared much about outside of their den.

Quiet mumbling in his ear caught his attention and Tobirama turned to nuzzle against the side of Madara's head with a questioning hum.

“All mine, my mate, keep, mine to have, protect-”

“Yes, yes.” Tobirama pet the thick mass of hair blanketing over them and rolled his eyes with a hidden smile as Madara continued to mumble under his breath. He knew from experience that the man probably didn’t even realize he was doing it, the same way he usually didn’t realize he was mumbling possessively to himself whenever he got caught up playing with little bits and pieces of his hoard.

Closing his eyes and breathing in the scent of dragon smoke and sweat, their own natural scents entwined in perfect harmony, Tobirama discarded any thoughts about moving sometime in the near future. He hadn’t been awake all that long and despite his nap earlier this still made twice in one day they had tumbled in the proverbial sheets. His mind might be awake and rested but his body was tired and more than ready to find whatever excuse he could to simply lie still for a while. Madara, it seemed, had no problems with that idea.

When he shifted his legs to find a more comfortable position to stay in until the muttering his ear finally stopped, Tobirama felt a pleasant shudder ripple through him at the sensation of silk against his skin, a reminder of the cloak he was still wearing and the touching discovery that stemmed from it.

‘Their hoard’ had quite a lovely ring to it, kindling the same warmth in his belly as ‘their home’ always did. Perhaps later he would sort through the chamber where they kept the finest silks and satins and all manner of finery that Madara had managed to collect over the years. If he could find one that suited his mate as well as this one suited him they would make a fine matching pair the next time Hashirama managed to drag them out of the mountain to cavort with the rest of the world for a day or so before allowing them to crawl back in to blessed solitude.

Later. It was a nice plan and all but it could surely wait until later when he wasn’t still cradling Madara's weight in the curve of his lap, softened now yet still buried deep within this man he had claimed as his own. For now all he wanted to do was card his fingers through Madara's hair and let his mind drift away while he listened to the rumbling voice in his ear speak the disjointed language he had come to know as love.

[bae-leth]

Oh wow that’s a really detailed dream? I enjoyed reading about it! I’m thinking that Lorenz has more of a playful rivalry with Claude than an actual hatred, since FE Facebook talks of him, Dedue and Hubert all being loyal to their lords, but it’d be interesting if he turned on him later on in the story.

(I had only one 3H dream since that last anon, and in mine all that happened was that Claude and Dimitri had a shouting match. I don’t even remember what it was about. le sigh.)

About headcanons - I think I’ll expand a bit on the students we already know, more than the students we don’t. As much as I want to talk about Lysithea, Marianne etc, there’s literally nothing to glean tidbits from, so I’ll hold off from headcanons until we learn something, at least.

…I predict that most of these will end up being friendship-related anyway, haha. Headcanons under the read more:

Edelgard:

- A perfectionist, excelling in all her studies/training/etc from a young age.

- However this led to other people looking up to her, rather than seeing her as an equal - this led to some loneliness growing up.

- She wanted proper friends, not just people who saw her solely as a prospective ruler, but eh. What can you do when you have an certain image to cultivate?

- (spoilers: friendships attained at the monastery later on, and this secretly makes her very happy)

- Edel always looked like a hard person to approach, but really she was just a kind soul underneath

- Siblings: I keep thinking that she might have a half-sibling who tries to usurp her position as heir apparent midway through the game lmao. Other than that though, she seems like the only-child type to me.

- Kids want to BE her, because she’s super cool. This makes Edelgard super mushy inside (she’ll try to deny it), so she has a soft spot for the kids that run up to her in excitement whenever she travels around the Empire

Dimitri:

- I wonder what his tinge of darkness is? Intsys might go for the standard ‘he is forced to follow his bloodthirsty father in committing atrocities in the name of the Church’

- Or perhaps he witnesses something horrific as a child, and is powerless to stop it, leading to immense guilt up to adulthood?

- Or maybe it’s an inherent character trait. Maybe Dimitri was the villain all along 😔 and childhood circumstances exacerbated this villainy.

- Apart from theorising about his darkness, I headcanon that he was a bit of a wild child who mellowed out when he got older and attained more responsibilities. A bit like BotW Link, but more outwardly cheerful/expressive. Chivalrous from the very beginning. A good boi

- I still reeeeally want him and Ingrid to be siblings… If this is the case, then you can bet all your money that Ingrid had the best puppy face as a kid, and got away with everything. Dimitri was blamed for eeeeverything, and Ingrid still teases him about it now

- (they’re the ultimate power-siblings tho. Could kill you easily)

Claude:

- Has a few little sisters - THAT’S how he became so sneaky, lmao

- Actually listened in on the council meetings when he was younger, while pretending that he found them boring. He gained a good grasp of the politics of Fodlan from a young age as a result, and used this to his advantage to gain the upper hand in Alliance discussions (to the chagrin of his fellow nobles). He was always very sharp

- Always enjoyed winding up Dimitri as a kid, since the young prince got comically mad very easily. However, this became more difficult once Dimitri mellowed out and grew into a far milder young man. (Difficult, but not impossible…)

- Tried winding up Edelgard as a kid, too, before very quickly giving up. The heir to the Adrestian Empire knew how to use an axe VERY well from a VERY young age, and she wasn’t afraid to use it.

-Pulled a lot of pranks as a youngster, and still does now. Got away with it before because he was cute, gets away with it now because he’s charismatic (and HOt). Lorenz cries everytime, because he can’t get away with anything, apparently…

Hubert:

- Oh gosh, this man. He’s probably the first student at the monastery to go grey, he worries over Edelgard and the future of her position so much

- Has had the loyal retainer trope down to a T since, well, forever.

- He was always the best at giving Edelgard advice, making her tea, cheering her up etc, so much so that castle maids would ask him for pointers when they wanted to do the same.

Dorothea:

- We know that she’s looked up to Manuela for ages, but consider this: she has Manuela merch.

- And she isn’t afraid to show it.

- A painting of Manuela, beautiful and absolutely massive, hangs in her dorm room, and she refuses to take it down. (To be fair, it’s a beautiful painting)

- AHAHAH but honestly? We already know he accepting she is of everyone, no matter their class, so I’m certain she was the same with her fans at the opera house.

- She always treated them kindly, despite how tired she might have been after that particular performance.

- She managed to attain a stellar reputation as a result - people loooooooved her.

- So it’s a bit of a shock when she goes from the eccentric, lovable people who adore her and who she has connections with at the opera house to the snobby noble NPCs at the monastery, but she does what she’s always done, and kills them with kindness.

- And sass, accordingly.

- And her voice. (She probably has Chords of Steel ✊)

Ferdinand:

- His pride in his family's status has landed him a lot of dislike amongst the other noble families.

- Not that he ever cared, though; as long as his family were thriving, he could care less about what others say

- Diligent in his training since a young age. He has to be, in order to keep up with Edelgard

- ... even if she doesn't notice that he's trying to form a rivalry with her

- (oops)

Bernadetta:

- Spent all social occasions in her room, making no noise and pretending she didn’t exist.

- Depending on her parents’ attitudes, her shy nature either landed her sympathy or scorn. If they scorned her, this would explain why she prefers to practise her hobbies in the comfort of her own room.

- (It would also mean that I would leap into my switch to punch her parents herself)

- Felt much pressure to be conform to the typical self-assured noble role, which was a constant blow to her self esteem - especially because the ‘perfect’ noble, Edelgard, was right there, and easily comparable to her

- I’m pretty sure that she grows into her own throughout the course of the game, but since we’re talking about her past only, I can’t imagine that all the pressures of nobility would be good for her :(

Mercedes:

- MY GOOOOORL

- Why did she leave the Empire as a noble to settle as a commoner in the Kingdom?

- Methinks her family angered the nobles at court, and were forced to flee as a result. They didn’t agree with their methods/ideologies/etc, dared to speak out about it, and were threatened as a result

- It meant that Mercedes lost a lot of privilege and status as a result, but she didn’t mind. She could still heal others, and that was enough.

- She was initially lonely at the mage school before meeting Annette, although she was rather reluctant to admit it. However, the two of them soon became fast friends, and the rest is history

- (I headcanon that she only vaguely remembers Lorenz, which is a sucker punch to his ego lmao)

- Well-liked at court before her family’s fall to disgrace.

- Holds little ill-will towards those noble families that turned on her own - was only disturbed that they were that corrupt in the first place

Felix:

- He and Dimitri had a bit of a personality swap through the years.

- As children, Dimitri was the wild, reckless hooligan, while Felix was the one desperately trying to reign him in, for fear of losing the prince of Faerghus to some tragic accident (i.e. he tried taming a bear) under his watch

- As they grew older, Dimitri became more responsible. Felix, on the other hand, went 'fuck it’ and went absolutely ham. By this I mean that he starts his little challenging rituals

- which lands him in a lot of trouble, sometimes, because as it turns out, challenging a fifty year old senior knight at the tender age of fifteen doesn’t tend to turn out very well

- Dimitri ends up being the one to exasperatedly chase after him.

- Despite his 'lone wolf’ proclamations, the main reason Felix fights alone because he wants to look cool.

- The others (except Ashe) don’t buy this for a second. They haven’t done so in YEARS.

Dedue:

- Dimitri earned Dedue's respect ever since the prince defended one of his younger siblings from a drunkard in the marketplace

- As repayment, he offered to serve as a retainer for a period of time. Ended up being permanent, because his respect for Dimitri grew exponentially the more he spent time with him

- Green fingered. Probably worked wonders with the plants in his hometown.

- Dimitri once asked if he could tend to the palace gardens. Once Dedue realised that it was either him or Felix armed with a scythe, he quickly took up the offer.

- Since then, as well as being a retainer, Dedue often oversees the upkeep of the gardens. It's hard work, but he enjoys it. He makes sure to leave the plants in capable hands before the Blue Lions set off for the monastery

Ashe:

- Ok yes I know that we technically know nothing about Ashe either, but... my boy. I must headcanon him

- Ever since he joined the Blue Lions, Ashe had always been seen as the 'baby' of the group. The little brother. The one to look out for.

- It's just his face, y'know? Gotta protect that smile. Even Felix has a soft spot for him

- It exasperated Ashe to no end, because he KNEW he was capable enough to hold his own. He was just... short, okay??

- (His protests don't stop the rest of the Blue Lions affectionately doting on him. Currently, it's become a bit of a running gag between the members)

- Ashe, fists clenched: fight me!

- The rest of the Blue Lions, shaking their heads, drawing lances and mouthing softly: do not

- They all know he's capable, really, but it's always been funny to wind him up like this, so they all continue to do so.

- Everyone else knows that fighting Ashe is futile. You try and duel him, and suddenly there's a gang of 8 absolute b e a s t s tearing you to shreds. It's not fun

- Seeing as he doesn't have a crest, Ashe is probably a commoner.

- How did he end up with the Blue Lions? Either his own skill at the time, or him having a lot of potential, or both. I'm leaning towards the latter

Lorenz:

- Has horribly embarrassing anecdotes from his time at the mage school, which is why he is half thankful that Mercedes doesn't remember most of his blunders

- Annette remembers all of them, however.

- All of them.

- She uses these stories as blackmail material.

- Has always had a playful rivalry with Claude, but ultimately respects him. They play up their rivalry sometimes around the other nobles in the Alliance, just to create confusion

- Has an older sister who is infinitely more stylish and romantically successful than him. It pains him to even think about her success compared to his

- (doesn't stop him from knocking on her door for advice, though)

Hilda:

- Canonically spoilt by her father and older brother, yes. However, if you touch her family, and she will k i l l you

- s l o w l y

- so don't even think about it.

- Goes shopping and uses her poor brother as a shopping basket. The boy's groaning after five minutes. She smiles and adds more clothes onto his arm

- Her family can't resist her pleas... which caused quite a few petty squabbles. Imagine being Hilda's brother and getting a mug for Christmas, while you watch her get the cutest lil puppy, or something

- Despite this, she genuinely would do anything for her family. (even poison for them, if it came down to it...)

Raphael:

- His parents were killed in an accident, but for a long time Raphael felt guilty for not being able to do anything to save them, especially since he was so strong in the first place.

- What's the use of all his strength if he can't even protect his loved ones properly?

- Eventually, he pulls himself out of his slump. It takes a long time, but he realises that there's nothing he can do now except move forward and use his strength to protect those still living

- which is what he does! He gets Stronger, and uses his strength to protect his house.

- the others all admire how optimistic he is. His energy has always been infectious, and always draws out laughter from even the most despondent of people

- however, his constant training has always brought about shortages of training dummies for the Deer. Sometimes they go out to train, but there's just ... straw, in a heap on the floor.

- Raphael's optimism can't save him then 😤

[eclare-draws]

My ML/Enneagram Theory

So I was bored and have a huge interest in the Enneagram personality type test, so I decided to figure out what Adrien and Marinette are on the Enneagram. I was just making points, and it somehow turned into an eight page double spaced essay. I’m realy happy with it and it only took a couple of hours, so here it is to read. It will help with the art I’m posting tomorrow ;)

The Enneagram is a personality test based on a person’s basic fears and desires in life. It is a set of numbers one through nine, each of which represent a specific type of person but are all connected based on how each basic type (the one someone identifies the most with) reacts to stress and growth. The system is largely based on fluctuation, but by analyzing the fears and desires of characters in Miraculous Ladybug, their basic Enneagram type can be quickly identified by the actions they take to change injustices and make sense of the world around them. Here, the discussion will be based on Marinette/Ladybug and Adrien/Chat Noir in various contexts.

In every episode, we see both Marinette as well as Ladybug strive to make the world better based on her beliefs of what is right for the city and her friends (which is typically in-line with what we as a society associate with good and honorable behavior). This attitude and drive is often associated with Enneagram Type One: the Reformer, who wants “to be good, to have integrity, [and] to be balanced.” This analysis of character can be seen in both personas Marinette takes on: the busy schoolgirl and the savior of Paris. Ones are often faulted with “always striving to improve things, but afraid of making a mistake,” which is clearly displayed in “Stoneheart,” where Marinette struggles to cope with the fact that she messed up to the point where she feels she is so incompetent that it would be better for her to give up her miraculous for the sake of Paris. “[Ones] try to maintain high standards, but can slip into being critical and perfectionistic.” Marinette’s sense of perfectionism is clearly seen in her designs and plans. She spends a disproportionate amount of time on tiny details, such as an embroidered signature, that no one else would notice but add depth and meaning to her work. Not only this, but her perfectionism shines when she makes detailed and convoluted plans, whether it is how to use her lucky charm as Ladybug or how she will get together with Adrien (see Operation: Secret Garden in “Gigantitan”).

The audience can often see Marinette trying to improve the lives of others, whether they ask for it or not. She often zeros in on a single problem and tackles it in order to help the world align with how she sees it best. When she is criticized for a mistake or wronged in some way, she reacts dramatically and impatiently. This aligns with the direction of disintegration, where “methodical Ones suddenly become moody and irrational at Four.” When Marinette is wronged, she reacts brashly and “[has] problems with resentment and impatience,” easily showcased in situations dealing with Chloe. All nine Enneagram types are associated with a sin, and Ones are paired with anger. This makes sense with Marinette, because while she tends to be level headed in most situations, she gets mad and defensive whenever something is turned against her or goes against the plan.

“History is full of Ones who have left comfortable lives to do something extraordinary because they felt that something higher was calling them.” Marinette started her career as Paris’ superheroine just as anyone would expect: spilling macarons everywhere while preventing an old man from getting hit by a car he could have easily avoided. Master Fu’s intention with the ladybug miraculous was Marinette’s higher calling. One of the more famous figures often referenced in speaking of the Type One personality is Joan of Arc (Jeanne d’Arc). Not only was Joan of Arc in a similar position as Marinette - a teenage girl destined to save France - but she is also depicted in the show as a past holder of the Ladybug Miraculous (see Befana episode and Thomas Astruc’s art). This revelation could be interesting to anyone, but it also enhances and hones this theory into a definite explanation. Marinette Dupain-Cheng is a Type One on the Enneagram personality test.

But what about her partner, crush, and friend, Adrien Agreste or Chat Noir? Well, it is made clear early on that Chat Noir is what Adrien would be if it were not for his father and the life he is expected to lead for the sake of looking good (pun intended). By analyzing this character in two parts rather than at the same time as previously done with Marinette, he becomes much simpler to understand. Chat Noir’s abilities allow Adrien to leave the fortress that is the Agreste mansion and live his life in a way that helps him grow and thrive, while being locked up puts him in a state of disintegration or stress. By evaluating the character from this point of view, it makes sense that Adrien would be an Enneagram Type Seven: the Enthusiast. 

Sevens want nothing more than “to be satisfied and content—to have their needs fulfilled.” Adrien grew up in a wealthy household and never had to worry about his physical needs being met but he constantly looks for ways to have his emotional needs met because his father refuses to do so and instead feeds into the basic fear of sevens: “Of being deprived and in pain.” Adrien’s worst nightmare is being locked up, as displayed in Sandboy, where bars appear in his room until he’s trapped and isolated. In “Riposte,” Ladybug hides him in a sarcophagus in the Louvre and, after escaping to be Chat Noir, he uses the excuse of, “I hate to be locked up.” While this is not actually why he left, his body language and tone show that he is being genuine in his words and that his clawstrophobia (sorry) is an actual problem. This claustrophobia is not only based in literally being in tight spaces, but also figuratively being trapped. His father over schedules him to the point where he, a young boy, cannot discover who is for himself or what his interests are. Despite the skateboarding ramp and posters in his room, does the audience ever see him even have the slightest interest in skateboarding? Or basketball? Rockclimbing? Piano? Fencing? Chinese? Modeling? While he seems to go along with these and generally find entertainment in them, there is no way to show that he is actually inclined to do these things - he is just expected to, so he does.

Being locked away in his room allowed him proficiency at the activities provided for him, but the only time he is ever depicted as actively enjoying one of these things is when he plays the piano with Plagg in “Puppeteer 2.” Sevens often prefer “to keep themselves excited and occupied, to avoid and discharge pain.” By giving in to the hobbies he is expected to have, he keeps himself busy so that he cannot worry about what he might actually enjoy. His ability to have high performance can also be attributed to the fact that “Sevens are frequently endowed with quick, agile minds, and can be exceptionally fast learners. This is true both of their ability to absorb information (language, facts, and procedures) and their ability to learn new manual skills—they tend to have excellent mind-body coordination, and manual dexterity (typewriting, piano playing, tennis).” While he might not be interested in the activities he participates in, he finds himself great at all of them because of this ability to adapt and learn. Despite this, it is likely that Adrien will struggle to figure out what he wants to pursue because, “Sevens do not feel that they can find what they really want in life.” The only thing he truly knows for himself and his future is that he wants Ladybug to be in it.

The few active decisions the audience sees Adrien make are in line with those associated with Sevens, in that he “[wants] to maintain [his] freedom and happiness, to avoid missing out on worthwhile experiences,” or, in this case, the experiences of a normal teenage boy. He decides he wants to go to school with other people because he deems it important in “Stoneheart”. In “The Gorilla,” he runs  away from home in order to avoid missing out on his mother’s movie. By keeping the black cat miraculous, he makes the choice to continue to have worthwhile experiences and make positive change to better his life. Sevens “do not feel that they know what to do or how to make choices that will be beneficial to themselves and others,” which is shown in “Reflekdoll” when Adrien holds the ladybug miraculous and worries that his choices are not the correct path without the assurance of Lady Noire. Sevens are known for “[keeping] their minds occupied, especially with projects and positive ideas for the future, they can, to some extent, keep anxiety and negative feelings out of conscious awareness.” As Chat Noir is being rejected by Ladybug, he quickly slips into a Marinette-like fantasy of moving to an island, living off fruits, and buying a pet hamster. By creating these plans, which one can only assume he spends much of his free time doing, he avoids the harsh reality of his family and love life.

Sevens are often referred to as being optimistic, which is certainly true of Adrien. Yes, he faces isolation and what is assuredly a deep set of insecurities and pain that a children’s show will not delve into, but he still finds the silver lining of every situation. When he is denied the love of Ladybug in “Glaciator,” he decides “her friendship is the best gift of all.” Even after he spent months trying to save Ladybug as Aspik in “Desperada,” he still decides that he can best help her as Chat Noir and sees the positive that can come out of what must have been a traumatic experience for him. Even in regards to his father, where most people would resent a parent who treats them like Gabriel treats Adrien, Adrien still manages to not only love but also respect his father and his wishes. When Sevens are at their healthiest, they “Assimilate experiences in depth, making them deeply grateful and appreciative for what they have.” When Adrien becomes his alternate persona, Chat Noir, the audience is able to clearly see the vivacity this character has and the beauty he finds in the world. Chat Noir often appreciates the smaller things in his life that others often tend to ignore, as he is unable to participate in life as Adrien Agreste. His separation from the world as his father’s son causes him to usually live in an unhealthy level for Sevens, where “their energy and health is completely spent: become claustrophobic and panic-stricken” which is again illustrated in his greatest fears of being trapped. “Sevens deeply resist feeling trapped or being in situations that continually produce unhappiness,” a statement that can easily be attributed to Adrien as he lives his life as a true Seven on the Enneagram.

It does not need to be stated that Chat Noir and Ladybug make a miraculous team (sorry). Their styles of planning, solving, and fighting are on opposite ends of the spectrum. Chat Noir tends to have a spontaneous take to his fighting, while Ladybug is methodical and calculating. This all makes sense with the analysis of the interactions of Ones and Sevens according to the official Enneagram study. “Enneagram Ones and Sevens have a particular complementary and reciprocal relationship. They are opposites who can either bring something needed to the other person, thereby helping both to achieve new growth.” The black cat and ladybug miraculous are said to be two parts of a whole, the yin and yang of the miraculous. Because of this, the interactions between them make sense to be reciprocal actions towards the same goal. While Ladybug creates, Chat Noir destroys. Their powers work together to create a balance in the world and within their lives. Occasionally, the audience sees examples of when their actions affect the outcome negatively because they are out of sync with the intentions of the other.

Sometimes, Chat Noir’s casual approach and joking attitude will get in the way of Ladybug’s plan, as seen in “Oblivio” and referenced in “Reflekdoll.” This dynamic between the two heroes can again be comprehended through the understanding of the two types, “Ones bring conscientiousness, orderliness, good work habits, methodical attention to detail, and a pleasure in maintaining excellence and high standards. Sevens bring spontaneity, high energy, curiosity, an orientation toward fun and adventure, the desire to try new things, and an ability to not get too hung up with getting everything done perfectly.” This is a perfect summary of their tandem relationship that balances out for a positive outcome. When things do not go to plan, Chat Noir finds a way to help Ladybug and solve the problems that they face most of the time. This spontaneity can sometimes cause issues between them, another common flaw between the two types. “As stress increases, Ones become increasingly critical, judgmental, inflexible, and insistent that things be done only one way, the right way—their way. They inevitably begin to see Sevens as undisciplined and inefficient, self-centered and childish. Ones feel that Sevens are scattered and tend to fool around too much.” In “Relfekdoll,” Ladybug points out these types of behaviors in her partner, going so far as to call his suit a “clown costume.” She also struggles to understand that Chat Noir’s approach to holding the Ladybug miraculous is vastly different from her own, which causes some bickering between them because her brain does not work in a “simple, straightforward [manner].”

As the audience does not see Marinette and Adrien interact in a normal fashion very often, it is harder to see these similarities appear between the two civilians. This is not only because of Marinette’s crush, but also because Adrien tends to guard his emotions to save face and do as expected of him. In “The Gorilla,” the dynamic between them peeks through as the friends have to rely on Adrien’s spontaneous changes of plan while Marinette struggles to follow along because she does not have time to make a cohesive plan. While Marinette can adapt quickly to her missteps around Adrien, she often finds herself floundering when she does not have a plan. Some of the few times she was almost successful in confessing her love can be noted in “Dark Cupid,” “Puppeteer 2,” and “Gigantitan.” In all three of these, she comes up with varying levels of plans in order to make Adrien fall in love with her. In “Dark Cupid,” she writes a love letter but forgets to sign it because she is distracted. “Puppeteer 2” shows her and Tikki devising a plan to play the role of someone who is confident around Adrien, but she had to go and almost kiss him in that situation. In “Gigantitan,” she develops what is easily her most in-depth plan (Operation: Secret Garden), which almost worked until she had to improvise. Her inability to improvise is greatly contrasted by Adrien/Chat Noir’s ability for the trade. He is a quick thinker and finds ways to avoid a negative outcome in the worst situations. When he tries to plan, such as his poem in “Dark Cupid,” it does not work out for him because he is able to do it on the fly with a higher success rate.

While Miraculous Ladybug may be a show intended for children, it is easily enjoyed by older viewers who look at each episode with a keen eye and interested mind. In the observation of interactions, mindsets, and attitudes, the Enneagram types of Paris’ heroes can easily be discovered and analyzed through a clearer lens. By doing so, an audience member can have a better understanding of the characters and make sense of their actions and thought processes without necessarily being able to relate to the characters all the time. By watching Marinette/Ladybug’s ability to plan and desire to do what is right for her city and her friends, one can see that her Enneagram type must be a One - the Reformer. She prefers a methodical approach to life that is filled with clear morals and a call to greatness and she often becomes frustrated when the world does not work the way she expects it to. On the other hand, Adrien/Chat Noir’s ability to see the positive in every situation as he improvises his way through life shows that he must be a Seven - the Enthusiast. Adrien’s family situation often places him in a period of stress or disintegration where he feels trapped and stuck in life because he does not fully understand himself. As the two characters interact with one another, it is made obvious that they are meant to be (whether as a couple or just the strongest duo in Paris) and that they can only improve and hone their partnership as they better understand one another on a deeper level.

(All quotes taken from “Miraculous Ladybug” and The Enneagram Institute.)

[ask-de-writer]

This WIP is not MLP related at all.  THE FALL OF OAKENFIELD UNIVERSITY is a Prequel to Slave in Pard.

This story is rated YA

THE FALL OF OAKENFIELD UNIVERSITY

by

De Writer (Glen Ten-Eyck)

6101 words so far, work is incomplete

© 2018 by Glen Ten-Eyck

Writing begun 06/03/17

All rights reserved.  This document may not be copied or distributed on or to any medium or placed in any mass storage system except by the express written consent of the author.

Copyright fair use rules for Tumblr users Users of Tumblr.com are specifically granted the following rights.  They may reblog the story provided that all author and copyright information remains intact.  They may use the characters or original characters in my settings for fan fiction, fan art works, cosplay, or fan musical compositions. All sorts of fan art, cosplay, music or fiction is actively encouraged.

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Sande was humming happily to herself as she worked to clean Professor Standar's office. She was mulling over his recent lecture on the pervasive nature of the magical field that only unicorns, with their horns, could control.  As she worked, she looked at the big office slateboard.  

She was emptying his trash into a rolling bin.  She added the dust that she had collected from his shelves, books and corners by the use of magic from her horn.  To help her concentrate on the carpet, where her magic was making the dust rise and scooting it into the bin, she actually looked at what Professor Standar had chalked on his board.

A bit excited by what she saw, she took a chalk and went to the empty board.  She wrote neatly, “Professor, I am 3rd year student Sande. I saw your problem because I am working part time as a janitor, and was assigned to clean your office.  

“I believe that the problem that you are working on will reduce more easily as a five function matrix, like so.”

Under that, she chalked his beginning mathemagic and then the steps to convert the unwieldy original expression into a matrix.  Then she proceeded to transform the matrix by clear steps to a solution.

She replaced the chalk in its tray and was turning to go when she found her way blocked by the Professor himself.

Mildly he observed, “I see that you have seen fit to use my chalk board.  What did you think so important that you did not clean it off when you were done?”

He ambled over and began to examine Sande's derivation and solution carefully.  Turning to her he spoke with mock severity, “This solves a problem that I have been working on for three weeks!  That causes me a great difficulty.  I now have to completely rewrite the opening of my latest paper to be presented to the Society.  I have to include you as the one who provided the complete Mathemagical proof of the whole idea!”

He broke into a grin and gave Sande a hug.  Leading Sande by the hand, Professor Standar practically skipped as he lead her away from her work cleaning his office.

As she was pulled along to the next building, her dark brown mane flipping about in the breeze, she panted, “Where are we going?”

Gleefully, Professor Standar replied, “To see Professor Greenleaf!  He and I have been working on this paper for weeks but could not figure out how to derive the matrix from the essential expression!”

As they were entering the cool halls of the Mathemagical Annex, Sande puffed, “I do not think that this is a good idea.  Professor Greenleaf does not like me.”

Professor Standar paused just short of knocking on an office door.  He turned to Sande and asked, “Why would he not like you?”

She bit her lip nervously before replying, “I was sitting in on his Theoretical Mathemagic 620 symposium.  He put up the assumption that only the horn of a unicorn could tap, shape and utilize the overall Magical Field.  I questioned whether other things might be able to tap or alter the Field, since it is easily detected to be stronger near groves of trees, for instance.

“He grew very angry and angrier still, when he found that I was not even enrolled in that upper division class.  After that, he has tried to get me removed from the University several times.  

“He found that I have no Herd Backing nor support.  I pointed out that the Greenswale Herd, that I came from, was merged with the Know Nothing Herd by force.  He got all my scholarships pulled.  I earned enough off of one job last summer to pay for my entire third year, books and lab fees included.

“He got my other work study jobs pulled, except for this janitorial one.  That freed me enough time to entertain at foal parties and play table-top strategic games.  Both pay quite well.  The parties I do for fees and I place bets on the games.”

In a dry voice, Professor Standar asked, “Is that all?  It seems more than a little extreme.”

Quietly Sande replied, “No.  At the Mathemagic 302 mid term, he gave me a separate test from the rest.  Nine problems on deriving and processing matrices and one on reducing raw data from a Metastable Structure experiment.  He gave only three sheets to show my work.

“Without actually grading it, he simply wrote an F on it when I handed it in.  I filed a departmental appeal.  Three witnesses, two of them faculty, saw him do it.

“All that I asked for in the appeal was sufficient sheets to actually show my work in detail while the appeal committee watched and to be fairly graded on what I did.”

Professor Standar, nodded slowly, “I did not know that was you.  I and the whole rest of the faculty heard about it.  You needed fifteen sheets to show your work.  At grading, YOU had to lead the Mathemagic faculty through your methods and reasoning.  They gave you an A+.

“Since Mathemagic 302 only deals with Linear Expressions, both inequalities and equalities, the Appeal Committee removed you from the class with a stipulated A+ grade and pulled you from classwork entirely.  

Professor Greenleaf was furious because the rest of the department gave you a challenge degree in Mathemagic.

“What are you working on now?”

Sande straightened up proudly, “I have been expanding Horimizu's zero sum placeholder expression idea.  It is really quite interesting.”

Just at that moment, the door opened and the red roan unicorn looking out, snapped, “I heard that!  Why are you even here?  You have been forbidden to do janitorial work in the Mathemagic building!”

Professor Standar cut in, “I brought her here because she wrote something on my slate work board that . . .”

Triumphantly, Greenleaf interrupted, “She did?  Excellent!  I will have her cast from the University for this affront to Faculty!”

Professor Standar said mildly, “I said nothing about an affront to Faculty.  In fact, I will give you the same twenty minutes that she had in my office to duplicate what she wrote.  If you cannot, I will have you withdrawn from our Active Metastable Structures paper.  What she wrote took our lab derived expression, which is on your work board too, and derived a matrix, processed it to a specific solution and from it derived a general solution.

“That is what I brought her here to show you.  

“I see that you still are attempting to remove her from the University because she embarrassed you.  Your efforts are a Direct Violation of the University's Primary Code.”

In outrage, Professor Greenleaf demanded, “How can you even say that!  I have devoted my life to the development of Mathemagic!”

Sande stood back to let the Professors squabble it out.

Standar snapped back, “And at the first serious question of the basic assumption that our horns are unique in their ability to tap and manipulate the Magic Field, instead of investigating, as LOVE OF TRUTH would require, YOU tried to silence the questioner!  Some LOVE OF TRUTH!

“That test that you gave to her, as a MIDTERM in Mathemagic 302?  It was rated BY YOUR DEPARTMENT as a graduate level written and oral exam!  She got an A+ and was removed from Mathemagical classes with both a Bachelors and a Master's Degree!

“Last year you conspired to remove her grants and scholarships to force her to leave!  Instead, she did ONE job, over the harvest break and Paid THE FULL BALANCE of her third year in advance.”

Grimly, he demanded, “Twenty minutes, Greenleaf!  The matrix, processing, specific solution, and general expression.  That is all the time that Sande had and she did it!

“Match her work or lose the paper.”

Sande spoke up, concern in her voice, “No, Professor Standar.  That would be a mistake.  Simply because I did this part, does not mean that Professor Greenleaf would not have valuable input.

“In the Library I have read everything that he has published.  Aside from the single error about the unicorn's horn being the sole means of harnessing and utilizing the Magical Field, his work is excellent.”

Sour at having his part in an important academic paper saved by a mare that he detested, Professor Greenleaf invited, “Why don't you come in and show me what she has stumbled onto?

“As for her mad assertion about the magical field being manipulated by anything but the horn of a unicorn, I have never seen any proof of it!”

Sande remarked casually, “After we have dealt with this expression, I will give you a free demonstration of a non horn initiated magical field accumulation.”

Gesturing at an empty slate board, she said, “With your permission?”

Growling under his breath, Professor Greenleaf snarled, “Go ahead!  Show me what we have been missing!”

Nodding, Sande rewrote the basic expression with one more factor and began to reduce it into the matrix.

Greenleaf slapped the chalk from Sande's hand, pronouncing triumphantly, “This is garbage!  The expression that you added works out to ZERO!  It makes no difference!”

Sande gave him a withering glare and snapped, “Didn't the reprimand for PREGRADING my midterm in Mathemagic 302 teach you ANYTHING?

“In the SPECIAL CASE of THIS METASTABLE STATE, it is ZERO ONLY AFTER metastability is achieved.  That is when all the measurements were made.  That's why it was missed.”  She turned back to the board and chose another piece of chalk to finish creating the matrix.

As she was processing the matrix, Professor Greenleaf's keenly watching eyes flew open!  He grabbed a piece of chalk of his own!

Checking against Sande's matrix and her restatement of the original expression, he began to sketch a graph of his own.  It started at zero and rose in an asymptotic curve to positive three, dropped to negative three and rose following a similar curve up to zero, where it repeated itself.

He then wrote out the solution to Sande's matrix and produced the generalized expression.  He put his chalk down before Sande did and pronounced, “I not only beat her time, Standar, I have discovered a repeating function in the magical field that will be worth an entire paper by itself!”

Without pausing her work, Sande pointed to Greenleaf's chalk board and stated, “In ANY mathemagic class, that would be marked as a failure.  

“You failed to show any of your work.  Not the derivation of the graph points, not the matrix processing, nor the three steps from the specific solution to the generalized one.

“Besides, since I did get a departmentally given advanced degree out of your improperly administered and graded Mathemagic 302 midterm, I have the right to submit papers for peer review.  MY paper covering that function and the other five revealed in examining data from other Metastability experiments is already in peer review.  

“If you published that, when a faculty witness saw you lifting it out of my demonstration work, I would be forced to charge you with plagiarism.”

She put down her chalk and turned to Professor Standar and pointed out, “I did say that it would be a mistake to remove him from your paper.  As you can see from what he has done here, as soon as he had a prompt in the correct direction, he is both brilliant and insightful in Mathemagical analysis.

“It is a pity that he has had to be given a formal Board of Deans Order of Non Interference about having any further contact with me academically or financially.  That is why he is being kept from my papers until they are released.”

Reaching across Greenleaf's desk, Sande picked up a sheet of paper and a quill.  Her eyes widened just a little.  She glanced away from the desk top and began to draw a small design near one corner of the paper.

“This part is a trigger for the demonstration that I promised you, Professor Greenleaf.  The rest of the design will be the Accumulator for the Magical Field, with no horn needed to create it or use it.  She finished her drawing, bending the corners of the paper up over the design, Sande tore a small rip through the trigger part.

She sailed the folded paper toward the center of the room.  With a green flash of released magical field, a loud and surprising POP! the paper suddenly burst apart into a fountain of small confetti!  Only tiny fragments of shredded paper drifted to the floor.

While the others were both staring at the surprising result of Sande's demonstration, she snatched two bundles of papers from Geenleaf's desk and put them into her large waist pouch.

She calmly steered Standar out of Greenleaf's office while he was espostulating, “You promised to give me that demonstration!  I must have a sheet with the design on it!  You promised!”

Over her shoulder, Sande retorted, “I promised a demonstration of Magical Field Accumulation without the use of a horn!  Not to show you how it was done!  You got to see it happen!  Now you know that it can happen!  Your axiom about the unicorn's horn is PROVED wrong!”

Outside, Sande dragged Professor Standar to the office of the Dean of Schools of the University.  Inside, she greeted the mare at the desk with, “Hi, Vanara!  Do you have a file copy of the Greenleaf Academic Restriction notice with his signature?  I need it and I need to see the Dean as soon as possible!”  She slapped a short pile of paper on the counter.

Vanara turned to a file cabinet and extracted the document before saying, “What is happening, Sande?  Oh!  I see that you have the printing office galley proofs for your latest paper!  Have you finished the markup yet?”

Grimly, Sande replied, “I did not get them from the printing office.  They were intercepted and being improperly marked up by Professor Greenleaf. Along with the markup, he was writing a rebuttal, part of which claims my expansion of Horimizu's zero sum placeholder expression.  I have it, too.”

Vanara reached across the counter and took the galley proofs to examine.  She held out a hand for the rebuttal paper and examined it.

She signaled one of the waiting student office runners.  

Grim of voice, Vanara instructed, “Get the Printing Office sign out log for . . .” she examined the galley proof and finished, “Junnea fourth, this year.  Bring it directly to the office of Dean of Schools Honner.”

The runner simply repeated, “Galley sign out log for Junnea fourth, Dean Honner's office, yes Mam!”  He left at once.

Vanara left her desk and went to a door down the hallway that her counter blocked access to.  There was a swift but quiet conversation.  Vanara gestured for both of them to come to the office.

As they were seating themselves, Sande noticed the headline of a newspaper hanging over the desk of Dean Honner.  It proclaimed, “Know Nothing Herd Burns Leafhome University!”

She commented to Professor Standar, “See that?  It means that we are the last college or university left between the Southern Sea and the Skywall Mountains.”

Standar replied, “I know.  The Know Nothings tried to use their 'common sense' thinking to guide farming in the nation of South Plains.  It has resulted in a massive crop failure and much spoilage of what was harvested.  Grains of all sorts were especially hard hit.”

Sande whistled softly.  “They were only just recovering from that drought. This crop failure will cause a flood of refugees from that whole area. Where will they go?”

Dean Honner shrugged, “Disaffected unicorn refugees have been making their way through the only known pass in the Skywall for over twenty years, now.  There is supposed to be a rich plain on the other side, called the Green Sea.  I expect that many of them will go there.”

Sande pointed out, “Perhaps not all that many.  If reports are to be believed, that Green Sea colony has been at war for nearly five years with a confederation of tigers and leopards called Pard.  Even if I was hungry, I am not sure that I would want to go to some place where I might get eaten!”

Dean Honner nodded. “I do understand what you are saying, Sande.  Unfortunately, that is not all the story.  The Green Sea colony is also sending several tonnes a month of top quality fodders back through the pass.”

Sande quietly touched her lips before saying, “Suddenly I can see the motivation for starving herds to take that risk.”

Vanara re entered the room and placed a folder on Dean Honner's desk.  As she was leaving, Professor Greenleaf barged into the room, pushing her out of his way!

Ignoring all else, Greenleaf planted both hands on Dean Honner's desk and demanded, “You must dismiss that MARE, Sande, at once!  She entered my office, where she has no right at all, and she STOLE important papers from my desk!”

Professor Standar interrupted Greenleaf's tirade dryly with, “Actually, Professor, that is WHY we are having this meeting with Dean Honner.  It appears that . . .”

Greenleaf rounded on Standar, in the process seeing Sande for the first time.  “What is that MARE doing here?  She stole papers from my desk!  She was not even supposed to be in the Mathemagic Building at all!”

Professor Standar pointed out calmly, “She is filing a formal complaint against you, Professor Greenleaf.  The charges are violation of the University's restriction on contact with Sande or pre-publication access to her papers or other intellectual works or property.

“Speaking of theft, you took the galley proofs of her paper expanding Horimizu's zero sum placeholder expression.  You were re writing it to make it appear to be intellectual garbage while claiming her insights and discovery as your own in a 'rebuttal' paper.”

“I would never stoop so low!  She is a mere mare and a only a third year student, besides!  As such, she has no right to lofty thought!  As a student, she cannot properly publish papers in any case!”

Dean Honner interrupted dryly, “Greenleaf!  The reason that THIS third year student CAN publish papers is those Bachelors and Masters degrees that she won from fair judging of her midterm exam given by YOU, last term.

“The brilliant work on those fifteen pages of Mathemagic that she needed to answer your nine questions, two of which were classical unsolved conjectures, BECAME her first paper, and YOU KNOW IT!  Since then, she has already published two more papers and had the final peer reviews done and galley proofs prepared for her FOURTH paper, the one that you directly stole from the Printing Office.”

Dean Honner flipped open the file that Vanara had given him.  Greenleaf blanched as he recognized the contents of the file.  It was the Printing Office's Sign Out Log for Junea Fourth and under it were several standard Witness to Conflict forms.

Spreading out the incriminating evidence, Dean Honner continued, “Your inability to recognize her obvious intellectual capacity AND your continued efforts to have her removed from the University alone would have caused what I am now forced to do.  Add to those infractions, your direct violation of the Board of Deans order of Non Interference by this outrageous attempt to plagiarize her work and discredit her, force me to enforce the Non Interference Order's penalty clause.

“Professor Greenleaf, your tenure at Oakenfield University is terminated!  One more infraction and you will be removed from the faculty.  Am I clear?”

Dean Honner gave Professor Greenleaf a red sheet of warning.  He added, “After this egregious violation of the University's trust, you may not even publish comments or letters regarding ANY of Sande's work.

“Please leave my office.  If I have to call you back, it will be to sever you from the University.”

The furious Greenleaf slammed the door on his way out.

Dean Honner shook his head at Greenleaf's behavior.  Then his distinguished white furred muzzle broke into a smile and he asked, “Sande, are you going to be at the Horn and Hog for War Game Night tonight?”

She nodded, her horn bobbing happily as she replied, “I am looking forward to it, Sir.  You give me a real challenge.”

Standar looked up at the framed medals and Wide Plains general rank badges on Honner's wall and said skeptically, “How often can you win against a general of Honner's experience?”

It was Honner who suggested, “Why not come and see for yourself?  If I am lucky, I win two out of five games with her.  Sande really keeps me sharp.”

That afternoon, Professor Standar accompanied Sande down the well shaded cobbled road to the village of Oaken Woods.  The many farms surrounding Oaken Woods showed clearly the beneficial effect of being close to the famous University.  The fields and orchards were not only well tended, they were filled with the unique and highly productive strains of fruits and grain provided by the Agricultural School.  To his pleasant surprise, he saw the farmers using metastable structures in the harvesting of hay and grain.

As the muscular field mares swung their scythes to fell the crops, the metastable structures attached to the scythes gathered it into shocks and bound it with strings of twisted grass stalks.  On the farms, even the stallions were working to get the crops into the barns.  They were pulling big farm wagons that were being loaded by stallions using different metastable magic structures attached to the wagons.  Shocks to be loaded were simply placed into the structure, which lifted it and placed it in the wagon.

Pleased at seeing his theoretical work being put to practical uses, Professor Standar mused, “I did not know that the school had released any of my work for general uses.”

Sande nodded as she strode ahead.  Looking back, she replied, “This is an experiment by the Agriculture School and authorized by Dean Honner.  If it is as successful as it appears to be, it will be put into general use next year.  It should earn both the University and you some handsome royalties.”

“I see.  How stable are the structures that they are using?”

Sande grinned as she stated, “They only last about three to four hours.  Re setting them takes around twenty minutes, which gives the workers a welcome break.  At the moment, it looks like your work has improved harvest efficiency by about 20 to 30 percent.”

By then, they had passed into the village proper.  Sande guided them around several turns to a substantial half timbered building with large multi pane windows in front.  The sign out front swinging in the breeze proclaimed it to be THE HORN AND HOG.

Inside, the main room was only lightly crowded but it was filled with the beery scent of fermented locoweed.  The lanterns and iron candle candle sconces cast a reasonable amount of light.  It was late enough that the windows contributed almost none.  There were soot trails up the walls above the wrought iron candle sconces. The floor was flaked bark, comfortable underhoof.

They crossed the room, dodging around tables where many disreputable looking unicorns were busy losing what money they had in assorted card and dice games. A few were winning.  Not many.  Mares in skimpy attire were lacing their way through the press of customers, carrying large trays filled with drinks or dishes of food.

Sande led them to a door and held it open for professor Standar.  The back room was far quieter.  Many unicorns, both mare and stallion, were standing around five tables.  A sixth table was in use.  A large bookshelf next to it had holes where volumes now on the table were being consulted and pages of notes being taken.

Dean Honner looked up with a big smile.  “Sande!  We were waiting for you!  The vote went to the Tomb River Campaign.  We were just setting up the Crane Creek battle to kick things off!  Which side will you take?”

Without hesitation, Sande replied, “South Plains!  We beat them so bad in that one that fighting it from their side will be fun!  What do I have to work with, General?”

Dean Honner commented to Professor Standar, “The kids know that I was a General in this very war, so the whole club calls me General.”

He handed Sande a sheaf of papers.  “Here are your troops and disposition at the start of hostilities.  You will find that we actually copied captured scouting reports for you too.”

Sande nodded, while leafing through the data.  Breaking into a grin, she put four gold coins in a tray beside one of the game tables.  She announced, “Crane Creek table ante is four gold!  Pick your staff General and ante up!”

Coins hit the tray. The General and three others took the Wide Plains Republic side of the table.  Sande took a wand like pointer and reached into the table top which was a complete reproduction of the Crane Creek battlefield and surrounding area projected by controlled magic.  She began to use it to array her forces, which were seriously outnumbered.  As he walked about the table, Professor Standar realized just how subtle its design was.  From each side, all that could be seen of the opposition was what the field command saw from their place in the old battle or wherever they placed command and scouting for this re fighting of it.

He overheard the General muttering to his three subordinates, “Just as I suspected, she is pulling a fast one on us.  I can only see about half of what I saw in real life when I fought this battle!  We need scouts out yesterday!  Move it!”

One of his assistants muttered back, “I am working on it already.  When she said that it would be fun to fight from the South Plains side, I knew that she already had the fix in!”

One muttered, “Found them, I think.  That woods that is supposed to be too boggy to get a force through?  Three scouts looking it over have vanished.”

The General nodded sagely, “Have to wonder how she got them there, if she did.  Probe it in force with a platoon.  See what sort of responses we get.  Hold the main force in position.”

As he watched the action unfolding, Standar realized that this game was like none that he had seen before.  It was not turn based.  Both sides were moving simultaneously.

The next report was, “Sir!  The platoon was driven off by aimed archery and crossbow fire.  The enemy is staying hidden in the forest for now.”

The General gave a satisfied snort.  “Crafty of her.  Leave a force sufficient to deal with the reserves that she put out for us to see and hit the forest hard.  We want to draw her out to better fighting ground if we can.”

As the Wide Plains Republic forces started to strike the boggy forest, Sande's “reserves” began to charge the superior force in front of them. Every copse or thicket that they passed yielded up more disciplined war mares, augmenting the charging army!

They did not simply outnumber the now defending force, they suddenly began a leap frog advance.  The pausing forces taking the time to fire an archery barrage into the defenders before rejoining the advance.

By the time that it came to spear and sword, the defenders were severely reduced and quickly cut to pieces!  Sande's attack then pivoted and charged the main Wide Plains force from the rear!

The General was swearing in admiration as the trap closed on his troops.  They were being forced into the boggy forest and it WAS too swampy for them to hold cohesion as a force.

The Wide Plains Republic had to raise the white flag.

A cheerfully smiling Sande scooped up the table ante and collected a number of side bets as well.

The next battle and the one after that all fell to Sande's skill at warfare.

The golden coins of the Wide Plains Republic antes fell into Sande's purse!  She took not only the table antes, she collected side bets in profusion.

The club members were conferring with the General and had three military histories out on a working table.  Sande looked over their shoulders and exclaimed, “The Hardrock Chasm Stand!  That is one of the best classical battles.  The Wide Plains Republic army was outnumbered over one hundred to one!  In spite of that they held off South Plains for six days, until reinforcements could arrive and drive South Plains back!”

The General looked up from his books and asked skeptically, “I presume that you have had some thoughts on the battle?  Nobody has ever held any simulation where South Plains could get through the Wide Plains Republic position!”

Sande batted her eyelashes at him and retorted, “Finally, a chance for you recover your gold!  I mean, I do have South Plains for the battle.  This battle will wrap up the Tomb River campaign.”

One of the General's staff commented, “Sande has already stood military history up on its horn.  All that I can say is that I think that she must have something nasty up her sleeve!”

Mildly, the General replied, “She always does.  Even when she loses, it is usually a disaster for the winning side.”

He set up his troops in the classical and time tested way, camped just in front of the Hardrock Chasm, with the small river to his left.  Tall cliffs spread out for twenty miles on each side of the chasm, creating a solid barrier to the South Plains army.  

From his camp, the General's forces could strike the South Plains forces in the rear if they tried to bypass the barrier.  If South Plains tried a direct attack, all that the Highland Republic had to do was retreat into the chasm itself and South Plain's greater numbers were nullified.

Sande advanced her forces in the classical way, directly out of the histories.  She encamped by a small woods.  While some troops were cutting firewood, she sent emissaries to request the surrender of the Highland Republic.  That was refused, of course.

That afternoon of battle table time, Sande sent a substantial force against the General's troops.  She had a strong center that forced battle.  From each side, parallel to the cliff faces pincher forces advanced, trying to cut the General's army off from retreating into the Hardrock Chasm.

Just as in history, the ploy failed and the Republic army withdrew into the steep sided and very narrow cleft.

Sande's troops withdrew to their camp, leaving only a few platoons to keep the General bottled up.  They had a leisurely meal and replaced the guarding platoons so that they could eat.  She was keeping her wood cutters busy apparently making firewood to last out the siege.

On the second battle table day of the battle, Sande advanced the results of her woodcutter's labor.  Three catapults.  They fired sacks of smaller stones that burst on hitting!  The rupturing bags scattered a deadly spray of stones from fist sized up to melon sized chunks through the General's middle ranks!  Worse, they then fired at the opening of the chasm, bottling the General's troops, preventing them from escaping the deadly hail of stones, by fleeing deeper in the declivity.  She mopped up the remains of his leading forces and advanced into the defile, foot leading, catapults following.  As swiftly as her advance made contact with the General's now retreating troops, more catapult shots leapfrogged over them to cut a small number off from aid while they they were reduced.  The catapults did not even have to aim much. Hitting a wall of stone simply burst the bag of rocks earlier and blasted them down from above!

Helplessly watching his army dwindle before his eyes, the General quietly reached over to the table ante tray and gallantly handed it over to Sande.  He offered, “Brilliantly done, Sande!”

Sande, eyes sparkling with glee, went through the crowd collecting her side bets!

An unfamiliar figure entered the room and scanned the crowd before homing in on Sande.  He made the mistake of grabbing her shoulder as he declared, “I demand Herd Rights!  You have to mate with me and give me half of that gold you collected tonight!”

Sande rolled in under his grip, striking up along his extended arm, directly into his armpit.  Her strike carried enough force that it lifted him off his hooves and laid him full length on the floor!

Sande hit him with both knees in his gut, driving the wind from him.  Her right hand slapped the bottom of her shoulder bag and came away with a big combat knife!  She held it before his unbelieving eyes so that he could not mistake what it was before she plunged it into his throat!

Conversationally she stated, “If you lie very still, you will live.  If I slash even a little to right or left, you will die.

“You cannot claim herd rights on me.  I am a herdless mare.  My herd was Greenswale. Greenswale was forcably absorbed by the Know Nothing herd who then declared Greenswale to be extinct.  There is no Greenswale herd, so you have no Herd Rights on me.

“If your Stallion Need is great enough that it will not be denied, speak to either Wilton or Lanni behind the bar.  One of their serving mares will sell you an hour or a night, depending on how much you pay.

“You have nothing more to say to me at all.  Speak another word to me and you die. Now, either go away or go to the bar.”

Sande withdrew the knife and backed away from the fallen stallion, maintaining a combat guard with her knife.  He got to his hooves, pressing one hand to the cut in his throat, and bolted for the safety of the night.

Sande turned to the shocked club and shrugged.  “I know that most mares will yield Herd Rights to just about any stallion in Need.  Herd Law is clear, though.  Only Herd Stallions can demand Herd Rights of a mare.  Other Stallions can ask for Herd Rights but no mare not of their herd is obligated to give them.

“My herd was Greeswale.  They were forcibly absorbed by the Know Nothing herd and declared extinct as a herd.  He was a scout from the Know Nothing herd.  I don't like them because of what they did to my herd.  I don't have to mate with them and I WON'T.”

Sande's horn lit up as she used its magic to straighten up the room where the stallion had fallen.  She extended a hand to the General and suggested, “General, we need to end this meeting.  He was scouting for the Know Nothing Herd.  We have to get back to the University and begin preparing our defenses.  

“Oakenfield is the last university or college left.  If we fall, all of Wide Plains Republic will follow South Plains into an intellectual and physical disaster.  We have the last major library.  All of our classical literature and research work is in it.  We are the last place where magic is being studied scientifically.  Our Agricultural School is vital too.

“We have to save as much of it as possible.”

The General gave a sad look around the War Game Club and nodded.  “You are right, Sande.  I had hoped to never have to fight a real battle again.  It is not to be.  Anyone here who is willing to fight to save the University, follow us.  We are going back to the school.”

Sande was pleasantly surprised to find that nearly all of the rough stallions and mares from the Horn and Hog were following.  She could hear much of their muttering, “School might be out of my league but those new higher yield crops sure ain't.  Showed us how to use our magic in a whole new way this year at harvest.  Got the whole crop in days earlier than the old ways.  That school been a godsend to us.”

They were several hundred followers strong by the time that they reached the University.

[bakechochin]

The Book Ramblings of January 2019

In place of book reviews, I will be writing these ‘book ramblings’. A lot of the texts I’ve been reading (or plan to read) in recent times are well-known classics, meaning I can’t really write book reviews as I’m used to. I’m reading books that either have already been read by everyone else (and so any attempt to give novel or insightful criticisms would be a tad pointless), or are so convoluted and odd that they defy being analysed as I would do a simpler text. These ramblings are pretty unorganised and hardly anything revolutionary, but I felt the need to write something review-related this year. I’ll upload a rambling compiling all my read books on a monthly basis.

Wise Blood - Flannery O’Connor I haven’t read much American literature, but far be it from me to state that the sole reason for this is my position as a staunch Englishman. In truth, I genuinely just don’t have much of an interest for the great American texts; the enforced reading of such literature during GCSEs and A-Level taught me that even the American texts with the best prose were not on the most interesting of subject matters, concerned with social progress or supposedly deserving of merit because of relevant historical context, as opposed to actually just being, well, enjoyable. Yes, I am obviously over-simplifying to a ludicrous extent, but these were the thoughts that I had way back in the halcyon days of school, and subsequently these are the thoughts that I’ve carried with me since, simply because I haven’t been arsed to actively try to challenge them. However, my infatuation with the grotesque was bound to bring me to the realms of American literature at some point, and so asking my American friend to procure me a copy of this book with a decent cover, I started on this Southern Gothic classic. I love the idea of transposing the gothic genre to a setting different than one would conjure up from the word ‘gothic’, and the fictional deep South town of Taulkinham does a bloody good job at capturing what I want; there’s madness and isolation and a sense of oddity in the air, and the town is populated by a gallery of fantastic and memorable grotesques. The fantastic and evocative prose, almost comical at points, belies how fucking odd the story’s events are, and breathes life into this setting in a similar way to Hammett’s Red Harvest; this is perhaps one of my favourite techniques in literature, simply because I’ve never thought of envisioning America in this fantastical way. The story is rather fragmented, with many of its major scenes basically being some of O’Connor’s short stories stitched together (and the Frankensteined nature of the story does result in a few chapters having noticeably different writing styles to the rest, or some characters’ decisions that would develop into these slotted-in short stories seeming odd and poorly explained). With this awareness, I remain unconvinced with critics’ dogmatic statements along the lines of ‘O’Connor evokes an individual voice/style, unburdened by the rules or conventions of story writing’; if she had that in mind, as a deliberate means of creating a fragmentary narrative in the name of the genre or in reflection of the characters or what have you, she came up with that shit after she started writing. It is a view that I could subscribe to, on account of the fact that this is not a stereotypical narrative. Characters don’t do much or evolve much, with the decisions made by the characters seemingly motivated more by manic episodes than actual rational thought; Hazel, for instance, is depicted as basically coming up with the teachings and philosophies of his Church without Christ as he goes along, repeating his new discoveries to himself and to anyone who will listen as soon as he formulates them, and it is this improvisational drifting (motivated by his own warped thinking) that defines his story’s progression. What separates gothic stories set in recognisably recent times to gothic stories set in the distant histories of castles and deep dark woods, is the changed understanding of madness, and I’ve talked about this a lot in my rambles on Le Fanu but I’ll delve into this book’s treatment of it. In the words of Bakhtin, ‘in Romantic grotesque, … madness acquires a somber, tragic aspect of individual isolation’, but before the advancement of scientific knowledge as to what actually constituted ‘madness’, it often took the form of histrionics and melodrama. This is all fine and dandy when you’re writing a story about tormented murderers hearing hearts beating under the floorboards, or masked men with skeletal faces scuttling around opera houses, but when you’ve got to transpose this madness to a recent-ish society, with said madness being expressed or brought out via recognisable themes such as religion, you’ve got to tone it down a bit. As such, Hazel and Enoch are manic, not mad, and this is excellently conveyed through their individual speech styles and the ways that other characters interact or interpret the two; my favourite example of this is Enoch running down his day’s activities to himself as a strict and sacrosanct ritual of undeniable importance, swiftly followed by the reveal of the actions’ trivial nature (and his co-workers negative opinions of him as a result). WOULD I RECOMMEND?: HELL YES

The Crock of Gold - James Stephens Trying to ascertain the seriousness of this text boggles my brain. Let it first be said that I rather like this book, despite the shoddy John Murray publication that I have it in; I was prompted to purchase it on account of its place in the great ‘Irish comic tradition’, basically expecting something along the lines of The Unfortunate Fursey, but I instead was greeted with a much more thoughtful and interesting read that I advise everyone to pick up at some point, with the caveat that you have to be in a very specific mindset to read it. It’s a funny story, but it is quietly funny; the humour comes from little quirks in the writing, in the speech and actions of its characters, in the ultimate charm of the story. The dialogue is deliberately circumlocutive and often rather meaningless, pondering incessantly on philosophical matters big and small, and ofttimes the narrative itself reflects these rambling trains of thought, most notably a long aimless pilgrimage wherein the Philosopher stumbles across snippets of other peoples’ lives, experiencing quibbles and learning folk wisdom and ruminating on the head and heart. The book’s world is charming, all made up of storybook character archetypes and Irish folklore (described matter-of-factly and easily accepted as truth); ofttimes, the information that we are given is ultimately unimportant and has no bearing on the overall story, and this is a statement that can, truthfully, be applied to much of the text, but it is all the same delicately written and rather pleasant. The book does perhaps toe the line on this point with its rambling philosophical paragraphs from the Gods, with its grand allegories and metaphysical nonsense getting a tad wanky and mind-numbing, but it’s not the most egregious thing in the world. In any case, the philosophising of the Philosopher is entertaining enough to make up for the rather more dense philosophising of the Gods, being much more like the aforementioned circumlocution, going off on unrelating tangents and eventually bringing the rambling back around to the initial point that catalysed said rambling. I bring this up not only as a point of comparison, but because it ties in nicely with the commonly-utilised storytelling method of basically going off on a tangent, following one person off on their quest before jumping back to where the narrative left off to see how things are doing then. This can perhaps be attributed to this book’s lack of urgency or real danger, and thus lack of a need for hastiness and rapid jumping from one person’s story to another. This extends even to the final resolution of the humans’ storyline, which basically amounts to one sentence saying that what they set out to do was done and dusted; there isn’t even a scene to show everyone happy again, because it is simply implied that things will go back to the jolly equilibrium. Hell, when the book incorporates wistful or thoughtful or even flat-out sad tales, no resolution is offered for them. The story just goes on, and we are presumably meant to just assume that all will end up alright in the end, or at the very least, all will just end, and then it’s not worth worrying about any more. Reading what I thought would just be another fucking The Unfortunate Fursey type of fantasy book has really evoked some unexpected feelings in me. So that’s nice. WOULD I RECOMMEND?: YES, IF YOU’RE IN THE RIGHT MOOD

Gulliver’s Travels - Jonathan Swift I’ll level, I went into this book expecting a low-brow adventure story about little dudes and fucking massive units. It is, in fact, a tad more complex than this. This book is a lot of things; it can be read as a storybook adventure novel, but it is also a satirical piece, both of Swift’s society in general and of the travel writings form, and it is this satire that I am not too fond of. But we’ll get to that. The main technique utilised in this novel (yeah I’m just going to call it a novel for simplicity's sake) is optical conceit, and the idea of viewing familiar things from different perspectives or in different ways, presenting them in a new light as ridiculous or laughable and perhaps to make us reevaluate the workings of society so farcically presented. This technique is noticeable mainly in the first and second travels, coincidentally the two travels that are most widely known, and this optical conceit is a concept that I like a lot more in theory than in practise. The first travel takes us to Lilliput, the island of the small blokes, and here the small size of the people links in with their small-mindedness and melodramatic quibbling over minor matters, but in the second travel to Brobdingnag, land of the big dudes, the size of the folk is seemingly unrelated from the satire. With the possible exception of the pompous Prince, none of the natives have any sort of comical largesse or egotism that might have related to the satire. And then when I had this in my mind, I began scrabbling around to try and find some other snippets of how the native people tie in with the satire, to little to no avail. The Lilliputians put great faith in long and formal written legislations and diatribes (related in full in Gulliver’s account), suggestive of shrewd ink-nosed clerks hiding behind their papers, and much of the Brobdingnagian report is one long rambling philosophical back-and-forth between Gulliver and the Prince, suggesting these large people have large mouths and loud opinions, but the satire, in my opinion, is a) tenuous and b) not what I’d consider engaging reading. And that’s not even considering the specific basis of the satire: contemporary politics! This book is striking an interesting balance between being entertaining in its own right, and ostensibly being entertaining because of its significance as satire, that every character or event in the story is comically reflecting some real-life event in English politics. To this, I have to compare it to Calvino’s story Invisible Cities, and it’s varying depictions of Venice through different disguises; it doesn’t matter how you tart up your source material, or how colourful your new layer of paint is, because if I’m not interested in the original source material then I probably won’t give too much of a toss about how it is newly presented. And contemporary English politics really could not appeal to me less, even if Swift does dress them up as Lilliputian acrobatic displays or thinly veiled warring kingdom allegories. That’s not to say that there is nothing funny to be found in this text; the details in the stories that are not intended to serve any satirical purpose, and instead merely to emphasise the differences between worlds, are always great fun. My favourites are the Lilliputian’s alien descriptions of the gigantic contents of Gulliver’s pockets, and two great instances of humungous monstrosities in Brobdingnag, namely the huge lice on the giant beggars and the scene of a Brobdingnagian mother breastfeeding; the sheer revulsion that Gulliver has to this spectacle is fucking hysterical. The travel to Laputa has got a good grasp on linking the fun content with the satirical aspect (not only is the flying island a great pisstake of science-minded learned folk, but is also like something out of a fucking Lem story), but the overall story is generally rather boring and without much in the way of obstacle or threat. The Land of the Houyhnhnms doesn’t really have the optical conceit, being more of an abstract switcharoo of horses and people, with not much relationship between the two races and a lot of obvious satire about man’s bestial nature. There are occasions of overt physical comedy, again tied in with these changes in size; Gulliver is in one story dousing great fires with his almighty piss stream, and in another being dressed up like a doll or dunked in a bowl of cream by a mendacious dwarf (or rather, a dwarf by Brobdingnagian standards). I am fully in accord with the former sort of comedy, not only because such imagery of dousing fires with a slash puts me in mind of Gargantua and Pantagruel, but because it reflects this book’s fun indulgence in crude toilet humour. Crude toilet humour is fun to begin with, but Swift uses scatalogical humour to demean the noble form of travel writings, taking a moment from seriously discussing the learned folk and their cultures and customs to describe his shitting habits. The latter sort of comedy, however, that serves to emasculate Gulliver by having him toyed with by giant folk or entrapped by tiny folk, only highlights to me the lack of character that Gulliver has, beyond being our narrator. I’m sure that critics will argue for his supposed egotism or pomposity or whatnot, but such details in the text are thin on the ground, and if Gulliver is not characterised as being a dick, why should the reader find it entertaining or cathartic when he gets his shit handed to him? These problems perhaps originate with Swift’s worries of the character of Gulliver being a reflection of himself; he is willing to put the character through light slapstick shenanigans, but he hasn’t got the balls to go too far lest it tarnish his own reputation. Apparently in one early publication of this text, Gulliver partakes in the custom of eating shit with the ape people, but oh no no, Swift couldn’t possibly have something that funny in the story in case anyone thought that he himself might truly be a coprophagous ninny! There is a strange bequeathment of snooty scholarly worth unto this book, considering that it does have talking horses and ape men who shit everywhere, as illustrated by the study done around this book (handily referenced in the editor’s annotations). Let me briefly give some examples. This book uses a lot of nonsense ‘little language’ for its place names and whatnot, and as you can tell by the fact that I’ve taken every opportunity to use the word ‘Brobdingnagian’ in this ramble, I’m rather fond of it all. However, amidst all the daft place names (all bizarre anagrams of existing places), the editor makes sure to highlight some as being ‘obvious, and therefore uncharacteristic’, as though there is a scholarly level of obfuscation or stupidity to adhere to in order to be respectable. This sense of superiority continues to the demeaning of one particularly transparent and obvious satirical paragraph, which is described as being ‘artistically weaker’ than the rest of the text; not that I’m defending the aforementioned insulted paragraph, because it isn’t that good, but the implication that the text deserves artistic merit because of the obfuscation of its satire rubs me up the wrong way a bit. WOULD I RECOMMEND?: PROBABLY NOT

The Nightwatches of Bonaventura - Bonaventura The new introduction to this text, written by the uppity translator Gerald Gillespie, is rather dogmatic in its excessive insistences of all of the things that this text is, or takes inspiration from. As much as I like to portray myself as a learned man and top-quality dude, I’m not so invested in contextualising this book’s composition that I’m willing to engross myself in Napoleonic war history or the works of Kant. What I am interested in, however, is the Romantic grotesque, for whilst Bakhtin’s infatuation with Rabelais’ grotesque completes eclipses any appreciation he might have of any writer who deviates from Rabelais, Bakhtin manages to spare a brief word of praise for this text amidst all the wanking over Rabelais, so I was intrigued enough to get myself a copy. This a book densely populated with great grotesque imagery and content, and as such it is a book that probably warrants re-reading with a certain subject in mind so as to allow for further unpacking, but within the framework of the grotesque, Bakhtin was right to say that this book basically epitomises the Romantic grotesque, because it’s all here in amazing detail. The story is a rambling introspective on dark topics, either prompted by the morbid and corrupt sights of the world around our narrator or plucked from the memories of our narrator’s own dark past. Said narrator, Kruezgang, brilliantly speaks on such subjects with amazing and colourful prose, with literary allusions and warped rumination galore. The other characters in the watches seem more like marionettes or shadow puppets, necessary to tell separate stories or fill a hole where there should be an aspect of Kruezgang’s past, but their purpose as such is fascinating enough and so excellently done that it doesn’t warrant criticism. The world is grim and grotesque, but depicted out as a joke via Kruezgang’s own view of it, described with poetical allegories and bitterly laughing at awful events by portraying them as black comedy farces. This book’s infatuation and idolisation of the mad and the strange and the grim is something fantastic, it really is. Now, having prefaced this ramble with such positivity, I can delve into a truth that looms over this text like a storm cloud; it is so incredibly fucking dense that I could not imagine rereading this book for any reason other than literary analysis. There is so much content, rich bloody content, in this book that it is easy to equate the feeling of numbness in one’s mind with an overload of such fantastic stuff, from the prose to the ideas to the fascinating storytelling, but this process of thought precludes the very important contributing factor to said mind-numbness, which is that the book seemingly just rambles about nothing at all! Am I to assume that such rich prose in the name of maddening circumlocutive (is that a word?) nothingness actually does have a purpose, and my mind just slides over it because it can’t comprehend the information, or perhaps just can’t contain so much information? Am I an uncomprehending fool for glossing over chunks of text, or am I just inadequately prepared to cram so much prose into my bonce at any one time? Such thoughts bounced around in my head as I was reading, and the only conclusion that I could come to was that I would be hard-pressed to recommend this book to anyone, for what if they encountered the same problems, and asked me to elucidate on such matters, when I have no answers to give them? Wouldn’t I look a fool then! But I digress. The introduction snootily says that to break down the narrative’s events chronologically would only ‘contravene the spirit… of the work’, which I believe insofar as a fragmented narrative obviously reflects the fragmented mind of the narrator (real in-depth analysis going on here), but that doesn’t mean that I won’t say that the narrative isn’t all over the shop, generally rather confusing, and interspersed with fragments of other stories of seeming tangential relation to Kruezgang’s storyline, all described with Bonaventura's same grandiose verbosity but often nowhere near as interesting as Kruezgang. Sure, I could have read into the exact (and no doubt important) purpose(s) of these segments, but a) just reading this book and revelling in its dark prose is an enriching enough experience without having to learn all the context clues that contributed to such nonsense being formulated, and b) most of the research writing about this book by Gillespie is just trying to figure out who Bonaventura is, a mystery to which I honestly could not give any semblance of a fuck about. WOULD I RECOMMEND?: NO, UNLESS YOU WANT TO READ IT FOR ACADEMIC PURPOSES

Shit I read this month that I couldn’t be arsed to ramble about: Shakespeare and Co. by Stanley Wells (absolutely amazing, incredibly informative, would absolutely recommend if it’s your thing), and City of Sin by Catharine Arnold (generally fun and informative, Arnold’s voice can get annoying at times, overall would recommend just for the chapters about sex in the medieval/early modern period and the chapter on Victorian pornography).

[rickjsposts]

Superbowl Sunday with season to date records and observations

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Superbowl Sunday with season to date records and observations

I have not posted in awhile as most of my posting is done with my subscribers on Slack.  This morning, however, seems like a good time to give my Superbowl observations along with my updated records to date on current sports active.

In addition, I have different plans for MLB this season. As most of you know I have been running a 50% refund if I do not have a winning season in MLB. It was a very popular Special. And the first several years I had winning seasons, thanks to the overnight plays. Then the last two years I have had losing seasons.

I did an analysis and completely revamped my overnight methods to where I am optimistic for the coming season. Even with the two losing seasons I easily beat the closing price on the games. But still did not come out with a profit.

Since this will be the first season I will be using these new techniques, I am opening up RickJ’s Handicapping Picks for free to everyone, until the beginning of NCAA FB. Then it will revert back to a subscription only service.

This free subscription is identical to what paying subscribers get.  Plays sent out via my private twitter account, Access to my two slack accounts that have a wealth of information in them. They allow for interaction between subscribers on a wide variety of subjects. Also my stock and option picks are only released on slack , while sports picks you can get via twitter, email, and or slack.

To take advantage of this all you need do is wait until 1 day before opening day of MLB , that is the day I will begin adding anyone to my subscriptions for free. Meanwhile current subscribers have the option to pause their payments until opening day or get a pro rata refund. Either is fine with me.

Or you could just subscribe now and for only $49.00 a month get all my picks and trades. With College Hoops approaching March Madness it would be an excellent source of information to help with your handicapping.

Just go to the PayPal menu at rickjshandicappingpicks.com and subscribe. Its that easy. Then when MLB starts your subscription will be paused ready to begin again when day 1 of NCAA FB begins. March 31st is opening day with all the teams in action. So the free signup period begins on March 30th.

If anyone has any questions regarding this you can send me an email Rickj@rickjshandicappingpicks.com

Now lets go through NCAA BB season to date:

Sides 60-49-3 Totals 8-4 Totals 1st half 7-4-1 Combined 75-57-4 or 56.81%

College hoops is having a great season. On Saturday with a full slate of games yesterday I could only come up with 3 plays, going 2-0-1.  College hoops after a slow start has been solid. Anything over 55% winners is suburb and we are at 56.81% heading into today.  I made a few adjustments over the off season like I normally do and they have paid off big time.

In the NBA:

NBA Season to date 2021 Season Sides 8-7 1st half sides 2-0 Combined Season to date:10-7

As you can see not many plays. Covid and injuries has kept me away from playing the NBA except in certain situations.

NFL:

NFL 2021 Sides: 24-20 Totals:   4-1 Combined 28-21 Circa Contest 51-41    55.43% My Bookie Contest 54-35-1  60.67% All Spread Contest Wk 1 9-8 Wk 2 9-6 Wk 3 7-9 Wk 4 7-8 Wk 5 7-9 Wk 6 6-8 wK 7 6-7 WK 8 8-7 WK 9 9-5 WK 10 10-4 WK 11  10-4 Wk 12  8-7 Wk 13 10-14 Wk 14 5-9 Wk 15 9-7 Wk 16 9-7 Wk 17 8-8 Wk 18 11-5 Combined all spread 143 129 52.57 %

NFL Post Season: 1-2

I was in 3 contests this year. I switched over to Circa and went 51-41 or 55.43% for the season. Not good enough to cash but a solid performance

I also entered the Mybookie contest which had the same format as Circa:  54-35-1 or 60.67%!!!  But still not good enough to cash:(

And then I was in a contest where I pick every game against the spread going 143-129    52.57%. This was the lowest I have done since I started in this contest. Usually I am around the 55% mark.

For plays

Sides: 24-20 Totals:   4-1 Combined 28-21  57.14%

A solid NFL Season.  With the Super bowl today and I do have a play on this game.

Then there is the NHL:

NHL Sides 1-7  -6.0 NHL Totals 2-2  -.15 Season to Date NHL  3-9

As you can see I have not been very active in the NHL. Money line sports has a very high variance compared to point spread sports. At least for me. So I have a few methods I use in the NHL but the number of bets its very hard to draw any conclusions.

All in all a very good sports betting season for sports in progress.

My investment side of the service has done extremely well. It is broken up into a variety of different trades. 1. Income trades 2. Mean Reversion trades 3. 2 day short put sale trades and now I am in the process of coming up with an option flow trade. The later is still in the works.

The two day  short put sales are made on Thursday with a Friday expiration. To date I have had 405 trades with 380 winners and 25 losers for a profit factor of 2.18 and a win rate of 93.83% . Up until trade 380 the drawdowns were quite low, but we had our biggest drawdown then and in the process of recovery at this moment.

The income trades are longer term trades and on avg produce about 8% a year in income through Closed end funds. We have had 56 trades to date with 48 winners and 8 losers or 85.71% win rate and a profit factor of 11.12%.   Most not only produce income but Capital gains when exiting.

Mean reversion trades consisted of 35 trades with 23 winners and 12 losers with a win rate of 65.71% and a profit factor of 1.60%   These are quite volatile:)

All of these trades are given to subscribers to RickJ’s Handicapping Picks via Slack

Now lets talk about the Superbowl:

On all NFL Games I send out a road map to help subscribers who handicap the game themselves and to give then an idea where I stand on the game.

The Road Map for todays Superbowl game is:

Rams            58                  -4    -4                    Model edge   Variable edge   Pub % edge

Cincy            42                  49    48.5                 Avg Edge            Avg Edge               No Edge +

So beginning 3/30 a day before opening day in MLB access to RickJ’s Handicapping Picks will be free for everyone until College football begins.  Just send me an email to rickj@rickjshandicappingpicks.com and I will have you signed up on 3/30. Or if you wish to be part of the service now to get the college hoop picks through march madness you can sign up the usual way through paypal on this site.

I am doing that as MLB is using an entire different method for my overnight picks. Myself I will be wagering around 1/4 a unit on these this season.  Lets see how MLB works out for  2022:)

Good Luck today in the SuperBowl

Rick

RickJ’s Handicapping Picks

rickjshandicappingpicks.com

[rigelmejo]

Another April Update Babey!

Upside: like March, I’ve been pretty motivated this month.

Downside: I wanna do Everything. I do NOT have time for everything.

A list of stuff I’m currently doing:

Going through Basic Chinese Radicals (Zhang Peng Peng textbook series) - its only 150 pages, but incredibly dense I did like 30 pages yesterday. Its excellent for writing practice as its a WORKBOOK, and all the radicals and example hanzi in it I should fucking know how to write T-T I don’t know how long this will take but I put it off long enough and its my SHORTEST chinese ‘writing focused’ book so I should use it. Its for the BASICS i should be past this already! But i’m not lol so I’m doing it.

Transcribing the pages in Japanese in 30 Hours with actual japanese under the romaji - good for picking up actual spellings of new words (and picking up the new words), grammar refresher, and I’m finally reading this book through (since the focus on transcribing is helping me be less perfectionist about memorizing everything before moving on). I’m about 1/4 through the book - it took a day. So I may well be done by next week. (Can you tell I’ve been in a really ‘writing practice’ mood lately? I think I just want to engage my touch senses more lately... might also be why active video games are easier for me to focus on, lots of actively affecting/moving things and doing something with my hands). 

Going through  Read and Write Chinese : A Simplified Guide to the Chinese Characters by Rita Mei-Wah Choy and writing the hanzi and mnemonics to remember them - this is actually going to be a very long process as the book has 3300ish characters. Also this book is literally JUST a reference - hanzi, pinyin, stroke order. Why am I doing this? Who knows man. I am writing out the hanzi like 20 times and making up my own mnemonic to remember the pronunciation (and meaning if I don’t already know it). Basically I just want to solidify my knowledge of the hanzi I DO vaguely recognize/partly know. And hanzi knowledge is basically my biggest issue in reading right now - running into new words with hanzi I don’t know, or running into hanzi I do know and forgetting how to properly pronounce them. 

Reading Guardian - I wanna finish this book so bad, like 90% of the rest of everything I’m doing in chinese right now is primarily an attempt for me to INCREASE reading speed somehow so I can read this easier. Also it is THE goal. The first goal I had in chinese, the BIG goal, the goal that eventually led me to my other goals. I want to do it. I’m currently well within the capability of doing it! So procrastinating has no excuse! Its just god it takes me 20-30 minutes to read a 5 page chapter and I am in agony over how long its taking. 

Reading hanshe - its going fine. Ultimately while i LOVE reading it, I don’t know if I should drop it because it is eating up time I could dedicate to other things - primarily Guardian at present. But at the same time I really want to finish it, and enjoy it. I would like to move onto extensive reading after this story for a while though (so no reading in Pleco for a while - I have print books I want to get through).

Nukemarine’s memrise courses - this is actualy going great. Not much to say except to myself: STOP procrastinating by trying to be a ‘prepared perfectionist’. If you can simply brute force the courses? Then do it. While reading Tae Kim’s Grammar Guide with it is ideal, as is reading the Memrise Website version (versus the app) which has all the course details, simply doing it is better than STOPPING to ‘prepare’ if you never actually are satisfied with enough preparation! JUST KEEP DOING IT MEJO I AM BEGGING. (Like... I literally was brute forcing the Tae Kim Grammar Guide portions and it went fine. Was it ideal? no. But I was actually studying versus just stopping out of fear of imperfection).

A list of stuff I WANNA do (not even like in a month, as in I wanna do it today/this month) ToT. Why am I listing it? Because knowing me, even if I have no time, I might do one of these things:

Read through Japanese in 30 Hours - this has potential to happen, as I’m transcribing the book into japanese instead of romaji and like 1/5 through already so like... good chance I’ll just happen to read it as I transcribe. I’ve felt compelled to do this so I might actually. Also! This book, ultimately, is for beginners, so if I keep making progress in the study materials I want to, idk how long this book will be relevant. What I’m trying to use to prevent procrastination: the book’s falling apart so I don’t need to feel bad for transcribing in it, its beginner material and a little out of date so I really should not feel bad if I just read through it without memorizing/re-reading until I’ve perfected a section!

FINISH HANSHE - I really want one book DONE, read and FINISHED. It being digital means a good chance I could do it. I just would... really like 1 book done, to say that I’ve read a full story, AND so as I’m going through Guardian I don’t have another BIG story I’m reading at the same time. I have a lot of books I plan to read/extensively read and they both go slower when I’m juggling multiple. 

Read Alan Hoenig’s Chinese Characters - I SHOULD have already done this. In fact I want to do this ASAP, and it would be great in combo with Rita’s book - because Alan Hoenig’s book has premade mnemonics to help me with memory and SIMPLIFED characters (Rita’s has traditional), but Rita’s book has stroke order and MORE hanzi. However both books are very dense reference materials. I want to read Alan Hoenig’s book. Do I have time? Well no because reference books take me like an hour to get through 5-10 pages lol. But will I read it anyway? Maybe...

Read the Little Prince, or Butterfly Lovers, or Journey to the Center of the Earth, or one of my Sinosplice graded readers - basically I sort of want to read something that is ACTUALLY a 98%-ish comprehension material for me. I’ve been doing some extensive reading, but by artificially lowering the difficulty by reading the english translation first. And I think if I read something ACTUALLY graded lower to level, I could work on improving my reading speed. Also it could be nice to FINISH those stories since I never did. However - that would be adding Yet Another story to the list of things I’m reading ;-;. I do sort of want to do this anyway though. You have no idea how much the biggest thing I wanna do right now is solidify pronunciation/recognition of hanzi I Already Vaguely Know, and improve reading speed. Both of those would make reading So much fucking easier. 

Read Le Francais Par Le Method Nature, recording audio for each chapter myself - while yes the second part could be optional, future me and any (truly lost) learner would probably appreciate an audiobook form of it. even if its pronounced bad, that’s more than currently exists (which is nothing at all audio wise). The textbook has a pronunciation guide under every word, but it would be nice to hear/say it out loud. Also I’ve been meaing to Finish the book for ages - it is over 1000 pages its a BEAST. But theoretically it puts you solidly into B1 or B2 by learning purely through graded comprehensible input that increases with your comprehension level. I am so in the mood to do it right now. I don’t have time. I do not have a solid reason to need my french better right now. But dang do I miss that book ToT

Things I kind of think I should want to do but also have had 0 motivation for:

**Finish reading Tae Kim’s Grammar Guide - I may not do this. Like I “want to do this” in the sense I feel a need. Its important, useful, will help. But actual “Random urge to do”? I do not have. Every time I read it I find myself doing my awful habit of wanting to reread from the very first section again, over and over. Wanting to reread each chapter multiple times and memorize, wanting to not move on to new more challenging material. I very easily stall ever studying new material when I get like this ;-;

**Listening-Reading Guardian - I literally tried a week ago. I got mad the english translation oversimplified so many sentences to the point lots did not match up to the audio, and gave up within a couple pages. Also this activity is time consuming. I’m probably going to put it off for later because honestly? As long as ONLY reading Guardian is an option - as in I can do it and skip the audio - I will tend to JUST read. Until the audio is the only new aspect, I’m likely to keep trying to read rather than listen-read. 

Thankfully, there’s some core stuff I’m managing to stick to doing:

Reading Chinese regularly

Going through the Nukemarine memrise LLJ courses

Who knows if I will stick to any of the rest. But at least I’m making solid Forward progress in each language in specific areas lol.