#which is the easiest part for me
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I just finished the final outline for the entirety of Book 2, and I was grinning like a madman as I read the last lines. Y’all are not ready for what I’ve got for you in this one lmao.
Even better, because I have a real plan going into it, the pacing will actually work, the chapters will likely be shorter, and they should come out more frequently.
#skeleton for the first chap is done too#so I’ve just gotta to the meat and potatoes of the writing now#which is the easiest part for me#here’s to hoping#college is hard gang#and time consuming#anyway#fractures atla#fractures book 2
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love language.
like so much love and affection and support for tommy getting to know buck and then watching buck describe every single way he's tried to chase love in his thirty years alive on earth to never be loved back in a way he needs or wants, like give me THAT moment of TV, give me the dawning moment of horrifying awareness on tommy's face when he realizes his boyfriend 1. needs to be loved and 2. has never been loved and 3. so readily accepts anything that even comes close that he'll die for it and 4. has ZERO self awareness about any of this to the point that he thinks he's been loved before, plenty of times
#bucktommy#911 abc#no narrative more fun than guy who does NOT know there is a narrative and it's about him and it's horrible#'one time i dated a girl and by dated a girl i mean i made sure her apartment was taken care of when she left me to go find herself'#'one time i dated a girl and by dated a girl i mean she was a news anchor and when she loved me i was her story'#'one time i dated a girl who didnt love me but she loved the idea of me dying'#evan buckley you have SO much baggage but you've been carrying it for years it just feels like another part of you unquestionably#RIP tommy you have the easiest job of all time which is: loving that man#love me anyway!!!!!!
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You put sans jevil and spamton in a room who makes it out alive?
PS: spamton does get [[Power Of Neo]]
(My own reasoning in the tags)
#ask#undertale#sans#deltarune#jevil#spamton#poll#polls#I WAS just gonna respond with my own thoughts but I wanna know what y'all think#*cracks knuckles* okay SO#It would take a lot to get Sans to actively fight either of these guys to the death. Sans mainly operates by rule of funny#and his fight is only hard because he's decided that you should die over and over again in the hopes of getting you to give up#Jevil and Spamton meanwhile are very earnest and volatile. Jevil knows the world is a game and believes that nothing matters.#Spamton is desperate to ascend and become part of the real world. He will do anything. Absolutely anything.#Though it's because of that desperation that I think Spamton will lose first#This is mainly going by the fact that Spamton's fight (to me) is the easiest out of the three and the main appeal is the story you get#Rather than Jevil where the appeal is that it's weird and fun to play and Sans that it's ridiculously hard and hard-hitting (emotionally)#Sans would only start to fight Jevil out of reluctance and he wouldn't really care about winning and Jevil is just here to have violent fun#Which means that Jevil wins
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2023 reads // twitter thread
To Shape A Dragon’s Breath
YA fantasy
a young Indigenous girl finds & bonds with a dragon hatchling - the first time in many generations for her people - and is required to go to the coloniser’s dragon academy in their mainland city, to learn how to raise her dragon and the science of its magic
historical inspired setting on the cusp of industrial revolution with steampunk vibes
bi polyamorous MC, Black lesbian SC, nonverbal autistic SC
#To Shape A Dragon’s Breath#aroaessidhe 2023 reads#this is really really good i loved it!#the chapter titles are all like snippets of a story. or like sentence fragments that match up. which is cool#it is definitely more about being indigenous in a coloniser institution than Dragon School - not Super dragon heavy if you want that#I suspect the subsequent books will get into that when she gets big enough to ride and stuff#t’s also def YA! i’ve seen a few ppl assume it’s adult and be like its very young :( but like. I mean its perfectly reasonable for a 15yo m#definitely a Lot of racism and colonialism which is not fun to read! though it's still through a YA lens. there was def a part of me that#was imagining consequences of the narrative as if it were an adult novel#on that line of thought - at the end a lot of it is kind of solved by them going to the king and he's is like. oh no racism is happening?#that's bad i'll deal with those people! which felt like. a little simplistic. but maybe the easiest way to end the narrative for book 1 -#I don't think the author ACTUALLY is going to portray the king as a Good Guy throughout the series - it just felt conveniently like -#a simple YA solution to some very big and complex elements? if that makes sense? (but again - it is YA so it's allowed I suppose!)#some of the worldbuilding (like all the science learning) is probably setup for next books - we don’t really see any practical application#the romances are also subtle and not Overbearing In Book One which i like - leave some space for the series!#also her getting fanmail from a 10yo mixed race girl who looks up to her 🥺#anyway. i really loved it!#oh also it reminded me a little of leviathan. i guess just the steampunk/time period/european culture....#To Shape A Dragon's Breath
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Okay but my favorite GIR moments are ALWAYS the ones that imply he's just aware enough of what's going on to know that the thing he's doing will fuck up Zim's day, and he still does it anyway, possibly specifically for that purpose.
#invader zim#gir#iz posting#natterings#most times its not even malicious#or not like SPECIFICALLY malicious beyond gir being a gremlin who enjoys chaos in general#i think a lot of the time he just wants to secure zims attention and making him mad is the easiest way to do it#(+ i mean zim kind of models this strategy all the time so can he really be surprised girs learned it—)#or sometimes the terrible thing will eventually end up leading into accomplishing something useful#and its easy to say this is just fools luck and totally inadvertent on girs part#but there are rare moments that suggest he mightve a little bit done the thing on purpose and im obsessed with that#that one comics issue where he impersonates dib torments zim for days on end and then wheedles zim into praising him for it#lives rent free in my mind#BUT ANYWAY I ALSO THINK THAT MAYBE SOMETIMES IT COULD BE A LITTLE MALICIOUS#given that gir in his natural state isnt really CAPABLE of resentment or anger or even dislike#and the one time he was able to feel those things he turned on zim in less than 24 hrs#in a way that was clearly very personally motivated (note to self write meta about gir goes crazy and stuff i have so much shit to say)#which suggests to me those emotions probably are there festering on some inaccessible level and yknow#imo a little healthy sadism is a GREAT outlet for that#zim absolutely deserves it
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It's not important to any real degree but boy I wish I didn't know how gears worked because seeing them drawn in a way that wouldn't work is somehow like nails on a chalkboard to my brain.
#Saw some art just now that had a set of three gears interlocking on a plane#and you cannot drive anything like that they would lock up#Driving any one gear would cause the other two to rotate in the same direction which would cause a lock up at their connection point#And like it does not fucking matter in any meaningful way#But also you fucking monsters how dare you#There are many things I see drawn in ways that wouldn't work I do not know why it's gears that do it to me like this#I suspect it's because they're easiest to analyze#Like with practice you can just look at a set of gears and know if they'll work and also how#Although a real good sense of the how does involve counting teeth#and you can't do that at a glance#But that part is well beyond where the chalkboard effect sets in anyhow#It's just a straight forward 'would this lock up' test that my brain runs instantly and then screeches the results of back at me
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More like rad-b-gone lol
#I love that you can see me back off to dodge his grab before I’m like oh wait I can just bonk him lol#thank you radagon for being the only boss I could see myself doing hitless#except my dodge rate for his stomp/poke combo is like 5%#so it’s only feasible if he doesn’t do that move…#oh and the “nothing personnel kid” teleport and fast smash can also suck it#him the crucible knights and the bell bearing hunter are the only enemies I’ve learned to consistently parry in ER 😮💨#I tried learning malenia’s parries but her damage is so overtuned it str8 up was not worth the risk and effort 🥴#radagon definitely isn’t the most fun boss in Elden ring but I think he’s like the most fair out of every single one#which is why it’s gr8 that all my goodwill gets toss out the window with Elden beast 🥴#I had one moment where he did Elden stars chase attack the triple closing rings and then sword swipes#and got absolutely annihilated bc I could not dodge all 3 attacks at once#like attack RNG has always been part of the difficulty in these games but with my limited knowledge this is the first one where#(( outside of gank fights ))#the RNG difficulty slider goes from manageable all the way to full health to death#had one round with malenia where she used waterfowl blade SIX TIMES and I only managed to survive bc I was playing around with a mage build#and was letting bby tiche do most of the damage while I pulled aggro from far away enough that I could dodge WFB comfortably#can you tell I’ve only ever done double godskins with both NPC summons and tears#I’ve heard enough about that fights bullshit that I straight up trivialize it every time I get it to it#Elden ring truly is the most difficult and easiest fromsoft game to date… dialectic 🥳#excited to see how they balance things in the DLC bc honestly outside of WFB malenia really is a fun boss#I don’t mind that her normal attacks are so punishing bc dodging around them or knocking her out of certain attacks feels gr8#so if bosses are malenia level TUNED without WFB level BULLSHIT I can see myself getting really into it 🥳#tsuchi plays games
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Recent game related things .. hrmm...
#I do like the inconsistency of the first map. that is actually something older but that I re-found and added to my Game Reference stuff#so that when characters reference where they're from I can be accurate. I like that the whole map is kind of shifted up that way. Where the#actual south part doesnt even count as the south since its Too Far and Scary lol. and if you say you're from 'the north' thats basically#like.. one single continent. Though some people do make distinctions like 'north midlands' or etc. still. I like the ways that common#language isn't always precisely accurate like that. and thinking about why a culture would classify things a certain way or etc. etc.#The inventory page is so funny to me because it's literally just the BASe like.. sample layout just to make sure it works properly with 0#actual design into it. just colored rectangles thrown together in MS paint. but what if I like... left it like that.. what if all the other#art in the game and UI is like stylized and fully matching BUT the inventory/journal/etc. screens I just left as plain colored blocks#with random misalignments and black spots and etc gjhbhjj... It looks unfinished in a Funny Contrast way to me.#the wordcounts are just like... my past few days of writing.. I am still not getting 2200 words a day done or whatever I needed. I'm lucky#if it's even half of that .... tee hee.. :3c I do also keep having appointments and other things going on but..grrr...#The full map of the area is probably not necessary but I thought it would be more realisitc if people were able to reference things. Like i#you have people all living in a city area probably at some point someone might mention a neighboring city or some landmark nearby#or etc. so I thought having at least the basic names of what's around for reference would be sensible. A side character mentioning#'oh yeah I don't live here full time I just travel from Marisene sometimes' or whatever makes it seem more like a Real#Fleshed Out Place than people just making vague references like 'the river' or 'i come from a city nearby' or 'i went to a place somewhere#around here' or 'the other city' or etc. lol.. Especially since global cities/global areas are weird as they operate almost like an#independent country within their walls. so it's like a micro country inside of another country usually. just plopped down in some agreed#upon plot of land that won't be too disruptive to the main country around it. That could get very complex depending on the cultural and#political backdrop of where they're placed (though obviously they try to choose the 'easiest' areas possible for it). Asen is a very mild#country without much history of conflict or anything so it's fine. But still interesting that Sifeh and the entire branched out global area#border three other districts of Asen. Which means like 3 times the local representitives you'l have to negotiate with for some major change#or anything. I think one of the 'random characters you can find around the world and have short discussions with just to make the area#feel more populated and real even though theyre not actual important npcs' is going to be a guy who actually serves on the council that#handles running the global areas and he's like.. some perpetually exhausted middle aged elf running around with a clipboard or whatever#ANYWAY...... hrgh... still trying to write when I can....#I WISH so badly that I had the scope for a simple character creation menu and all character interactions would allot for the background#of your player character. And also to have a simple day night cycle where places in the world you explore/people you talk to during the day#have new options or dialogue at night.. BUT alas... I already am so behind on everything as is lol.. aughhh... T o T#As the worlds number one Needless Detail And Complexity Enjoyer i must dilligently prevent myself from adding additional complexity
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me rn ^_^
#i came home with the intention of getting astronomically high on some random pills#but i had this sudden burst of inspiration and was in a really good mood#so i was like eh fuck it maybe I'll just work on my song#and omg???? i actually fucking managed to write something for the first time in WEEEEEEKS#and you know when you can like hear it in your head and then you finally manage to play it#and get it sounding exactly as you wanted????#well yeah me rn#I'll be riding this high forever 8)#I'm sooo pleased#and now i get to workshop lyrics which is my favourite and the easiest part *rubs hands together*#i accidentally discovered a bunch of cool features on my keyboard piano and it's like#THIS is what I've been missing this whole time
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Ok I hate getting too heavy on main but does anyone have any cool tips and tricks for not having violent gory nightmares like every other night lol
I don't eat before bed (~2 hours), I've cut back on caffeine (mostly green tea anyway), I don't read dark/edgy stuff too close to bed, I'm a little stressed because of the stuff going on with Murphy's diabetes but otherwise I'm doing pretty good and a lot of good things are happening around that. Also I've been having dreams like this for like 7 years now so my brain meds aren't the cause of it.
The bright side is that I dream so often that when it happens I'm like "cool whatever none of this is real just get on with it" lmfao They make me sleep bad though. Weed helps a lot but gummies are expensive and I don't like smoking it frequently because bad unhealthy. Melatonin does nothing
I see my doctor soon for a checkup so I'm gonna bring it up with her (IF I REMEMBER THIS TIME LOL) but until then...
#textpost#drugs cw#There's no pain or smells in my dreams which makes it super obvious that it isn't really happening#I'm not going to describe what my dreams are like because I don't want anyone armchair diagnosing me with anything#But I will say that the dream segments in Interlude were some of the easiest parts to write hahah
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little soup cans are some of the neatest things we have, wish there were more soup-can-like things in this world
#just me hi#though canopeners need to stop being deadly weapons to some degree before that hfhs#'they're not deadly tho ?' well usually yes. but did you know that they can age Badly? i did not!#and the one I was using was dulled to an extent that it would Skip over a part of the can#(nearly the same spot every time lol) and when I thought I'd managed to fool it and had only#the tiniest bit of metal between me and some beans (pretty sure it was beans) I thought#'ohh I'll just pull up the can lid :)' Well the lid snapped off completely towards and Into my hand#and I had a bean-can wound on my pinky for about a week or so. I do not know how long it's been lol#//but soup cans are pretty cool I feel like they're kinda underappreciated !!#you can just have Soup ? Whenever ??? and it's Normal !! wow :D#sure making soup is pretty great. but that's a process man. and we're not even associates#[<- 'a process I am (not) intimate with']#like there is a little can of menudo in the pantry rn - medunito they call it isn't that just !! - and it's just there. it can be made in#like 10 minutes. is this Not the best thing ever ! ?#//I've also gotta figure out this sleeping thing that I've got going on (everybody has it going on)#I was maybe half a week into actually have a consistent thing going but the night I stopped was bc I am a sucker of a storyteller and we#were up til about. I think 4-6 a.m.#that's on me yes. my siblings vs. my desire to tell stories and rubber willpower hfbdh#a deadly match truly#and also I lost my snoopy watch (RIP snoopy watch you will be missed (I can't find it send help Waough)) and that was the only clock I had#in this room so now if I wanna know the time I have to go the living room - which is like a whole dang thing lemme tell you about it#/first I've gotta get up - easiest thing by far - and get to the door - assuming I don't get KO'd by my siblings' belongings on the floor -#get to the door. the door Is broken to some extent. opening it means a loud THDPD noise is sent throughout the entire house lol. and you#have to yank on the thing to get it open - so double effort there - and then you step out into the hallwayish area where you can then enter#the living room - oh so easy! but No! you then have to either turn on the kitchen lights and wake everyone with their door open or sleeping#in the living room for whatever reason Orrr you have to clamber over chairs pots perhaps a cat if you've got real bad luck that night to ge#up nice n personal to the clock so you can read the dang thing and see it's 11:23. which is like nothing so you stay up Anyway and do not#check the clock again because not only was that a hassle but also you released every creature that was in the room with you (that's a lot o#noise). but Yea the clock situation is ongoing hfbsh#'why don't you get a clock' that would be much too easy loll :) (last one disappeared and we keep forgetting lol) //ran out of tag space so
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#Heyo I want to check something :3#Also if u wanna tell me which part u find hardest and Also easiest#For Me the hardest is action descriptions and easiest is dialogue#writing#writers on tumblr#creative writing
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Putting my journal down realizing maybe I shouldn't make a written plan to socialize more efficiently
#.txt#Is efficiently the right word. Diary entry incoming.#Going back and forth in recent days with feeling okay with one sided social stimulation and that's just kind of how my brain works#And recognizing I will not look like a well rounded person because I'm not able to maintain other people's interest in an acquaintanceship#It is likely. At least some part due to like labor isolation and all I do is work I do not have life events to interest people#All I can talk about is video games but incredibly limits the social pool because I like bad games.#And also to some degree distrust and the assumption my presence is unwanted. Which I've been working on a lot!#Today in particular is probably just a bad day.#And I have been very focused on life plans for the past week or so which has become very daunting#Planning on starting a business this year. Which is probably why I'm stressing about being able to reach people.#As it will become financially relevant and not just a personal failing I have accepted.#Reasonably it is probably a therapy thing to address being so afraid of other people. But I do not want to go to therapyyyy I'll do it.#Myself.#Normally.#Not dipping into woe is me I have no one territory at least as bad as I did when I was younger. Recognizing a pattern that I am enacting.#My responsibility to improve. Yada yada. I just wish it was a bit easier to feel my like. Presence.#And the constant improvement mindset straying into never good enough is very difficult to avoid.#And it's not a matter of being a good enough person to have close relationships. But I think its easiest to ascribe personal failure#When you are unable to do something. Well the most likely culprit is probably never leaving the house and being undiagnosed.#Which I can arguably do things about.#Also I'm tired. But I'm going to work on my resume tonight anyway and hope tummy pain passes and maybe talking to people will be easier#Another day.
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the dude whose content i tend to recommend as a better alternative to pat's unhinged rambling put out a new video in his 3 part skyrim series and he has bad stormcloak takes too
(i dont feel like being eloquent so im just gonna ramble in the tags)
#i shouldnt be surprised considering pat promotes him at the beginning of his video but i was holding out hope#its at least a little more sound than pat's owning the libs rant#dude makes salient points using ulfric's dialogue and tries to argue that 'skyrim belongs to the nords'#refers not to removing every other race but to returning control of the province back to its ''native'' inhabitants#instead of the empire (full acknowledgement here that nords as native inhabitants is incorrect but it's the easiest way to summarize this#point he's making. significant amounts of the land belong to the forsworn etc)#which from galmar and ulfric's dialogue may well be true given they dont Bar you from joining the stormcloaks and seem to lean more into#the imperial conflict when prompted#but regardless of what ulfric and galmar may say the overall influence of their movement has incited racism on a mass scale and they grey#quarter and argonian dockworkers still exist#stormcloak aligned npcs as a whole will still insult you and tell you you dont belong unless you're a nord#dude argues that the two guys harassing the dark elf woman in the front of windhelm arent representative of the stormcloaks because they#arent soldiers but theyre clearly aligned with ulfric's side#(he also insists that the woman saying it's 'not [her] fight' (irt the civil war) is selfish on her part somehow#and then goes on to give the whole 'but the dark elves are meanies too >:(' argument pat does#theres also the ex stormcloak guy who talks directly about ulfric being a racist but op writes him off because his dialogue mentions#khajiit caravans and the like who he says arent ulfrics citizens#but it reads more to me as bad bethesda writing than that dude being written to have shit arguments#as op and pat are trying to posit#i dunnou man I think if we're gonna argue this we need to look at what the game actually gives us and not what we think#bethesda was TRYING to say if we're gonna pick apart this questline in good faith#you cant just be like 'well i think todd didnt MEAN for them to be as racist as they are so theyre not THAT bad'#and then take all the other content in the game at face value and criticize it that way#cake eating it too etc#anyway sorry for being MIA outside of the queue im working on a restraining order against the wizard at work
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it's a very silly thing to turn your nose up at something just to be ~different~ but all the same I will continue to refuse to wear button up t-shirts.
#monster noises#I'm trying to figure out how to make my summer wardrobe more Interesting#particularly for being at work#cause like at home I have plenty of fun tank tops and band shirts and other stuff that make me happy#but I can't wear those to work sadly so I'm kinda stuck with... plain black t's#which is like Fine#but it's not Fun#and I it doesn't make me Happy#so I need to find a way to craft a work friendly summer wardrobe#with the same vibe as my fanciful dress shirts#whimsical embroidered vests#and brilliant colourful cardigans#so I can hit the hardware store looking like a Hot Weather Wizard#and sadly the Easiest solution for whimsical summer wear is the booming button up t-shirt industry frequented by my trans-masc peers#but alas I have a long held refusal to partake in the tradition for reasons not fully known to me and also I don't think I'd look good#but I'm Also not thrilled by the thought of patterned Regular t-shirts cause that's some Average Joe type stuff#unless I can hunt down some Radical Prints#so I think I'm gunna go the route of seeking out weird shorts/pants I can make into shorts and keep the plain tops#but we shall have to see..#also to be clear I'm basically working on clearing out and replacing parts of my wardrobe#lots of my stuff isn't necessarily Old as it Could Be but it is From Another Time#if you know what I mean#and I'd like to bring it up to where I'm at#They're all Milo clothes and I'm Bartholomew now#y'get me?#anyway yeah if anyone has suggestions I'm open to em!
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does anyone have good wesper fic recs i am desperate
#ive gone down SO many rabbit holes and for the ship thats easiest to write in soc. it is shocking how often ppl get them so so wrong#like they cover the surface factors of jesper being flirty ; his adhd ; wylan's disability ; jan van eck's abuse etc but#literally everything else that their relationship is shaped around: everything that lends context and color to those characteristics#is wiped out#bc its far harder to get right in AUs#i would like a fic that isnt making light of the massive (and concerning) power dynamics looming in jesper's move w wylan#and wylan's move into his father's house#like. that is LITERALLY a haunted house he is literally becoming his father (i.e. taking his place)#and most fics just scrap that part . which . understandable#but fics that have wylan be the one to ''rein jesper in'' or exert control over him in any form by doing ''whats best for him'' . whoo boy#extremely icy territory for me personally#esp wrt to jespers addiction which soo many people just . dont write#and all that is if wylan isnt infantilized in the first place#obviously its totally up to the authors and many of these fics r super fun i am just Some Guy i just. also want the messy dark ones#exploring power and perception and financial dependence and addiction#bc there seem to be absolutely none of those when it comes to wesper#anyway. maintagging in the hopes ill get recs#six of crows#jesper fahey#wylan van eck
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