#which is why hozier is superior

[allherfaeriesmeetinjuly]

the fear i feel listening to the smiths tv girl deftones etc as a girl’s girl cuz ik misogyny is engraved in men’s lyrics a lot of the time

[unseededtoast]

Light As A Feather | Spencer Reid x F! Reader

Summary: The gravity of your job begins getting to you, and you come to realize you've forgotten how beautiful life can be. And one tranquil night, it's like Spencer is able to lift the weight and makes you feel light as a feather. Inspired by Hozier's "I, Carrion (Icarian)"

Cross posted on Wattpad and AO3 and here is my masterlist!

Word Count: 8.7k

Warnings: General violence, angst, pining. Poorly Edited

a/n: howdy folks. I'm still in my spencer reid/hozier brainrot era and so here's another. I hope you all enjoy it and thank you for all of the support I've received, it means the world!!

His presence is enough to make you forget about the horrors of the world, of your job. Right now, it's just you and him, and you've never felt lighter; so unburdened. You're convinced that if he wasn't there, holding onto you with his magnetic pull, that you may just float away in the breeze like a feather. 

You had never been to Colorado before, and now you wish you could be here under different circumstances. It's the beginning of fall and it seems as if the people of Boulder are head over heels in love with the season. Which is understandable, you think you'd love fall this much too if you lived in a place this beautiful. The trees are painted in vibrant shades of yellow, orange, and red and the distant mountains stand proudly in the background with their snow capped tops. Your eyes are glued to the lush landscape as the SUV drives through Boulder to reach your destination.

You, along with the rest of your team, were called by the Park Rangers from the Rocky Mountain National Park about a few bodies they had discovered. Your superior, Hotch, decided their case was odd enough for you all to pay a visit. At first you hadn't wanted to come, convinced that there would be something closer to home to tend to, but now you're glad you agreed to come. Fall time in Quantico just isn't as picturesque.

Eventually, the SUV you're crammed into alongside three of your other team members drives up a long winding driveway to a hidden cabin in the woods. Hotch had booked the place, seeing as how close it is to the National Park and how secluded it is from potential people of interest. Once again, you tried to argue that the cellphone reception would be terrible up here and that it might hinder the case, but you were outvoted, and the rest of the team wanted to stay here. You hadn't understood why, but when the venue comes into view your jaw almost drops and you understand.

The cabin isn't at all what you had been expecting. Instead of some run-down, small, stuffy house, you see a large, sprawling log mansion. There are large windows adorning the front, accompanied by a wraparound porch on the second level. It's very reminiscent of a tasteful ski lodge.

"Wow." You breathe out as the car comes to a stop outside the front door.

"Still think it's a bad idea?" Hotch smarts off as he opens the trunk and starts handing people their bags. Fighting the urge to roll your eyes, you grab your bag from him and stare up at your home for the next few days.

The rest of the team wastes no time in going inside to claim their room, but you're happy to meander around for a little bit to familiarize yourself with the layout. You'll let them fight over the rooms and take whatever is left. After all, in a place of this size, even the smallest room is bound to be plentiful.

As you go through the halls admiring the artwork on the wall you spot Spencer doing the same, staring at a particular painting on the wall. You take just a second to appreciate the way he looks, standing there and analyzing art. You've always had an appreciation for Spencer, and not just for his good looks, but also his intelligence and his company.

Since your first day at the FBI you've felt drawn to him, he made you feel important, and heard, when others dismissed you. In fact, he's the reason you're on the BAU team in the first place. He was the only one to recognize your abilities and talents. You try not to hold a grudge about the fact the rest of the team was ready to let you transfer out after your internship. But instead of standing there and gawking at him like some braindead fool, you walk up to him, setting your bag on the floor beside your feet.

You look at the painting that's caught his attention and try to see what he does, try to think about how he interprets it. His mind is an amazing, complex thing, and you hope that one day you'll be able to understand just a small portion of it. It's a painting of the Great Rocky National Park, you can tell from the mountain formation and the river running through it. The painting is almost an identical match, as if it's actually a picture rather than painting. However, there's one small spot on the painting that looks like it's been painted over and over, it sticks out to you.

"What do you think happened there?" You point out the flaw and look up to Spencer, whose eyebrows are drawn closely together as he leans in and looks at the spot. After a few moments of quiet reflection, he stands back to his full height.

"I'm not sure. It looks like maybe the painter had difficulties finding the right shade." He says, still staring at the spot. Your eyes linger on his face before tearing them away before he catches on.

"You're probably right. I'm going to go find what room they left me." You say, grabbing your bag from beside you. Spencer bends over to pick up his as well,

"I should probably do the same." A small smile adorns his face, and the two of you begin walking through the cabin to find the empty rooms the team left you. According to the venue's website there should be one room for each agent, and you're thankful for that. You had never been a fan of sharing room with your coworkers, something about it just feels wrong, but when there's no way to avoid it you endure without much fuss.

The two of you check every room on the first floor only to find that they had all been claimed, meaning you two had to climb the stairs for rooms on the second level. Of course the rest of them would all claim the first floor rooms first, nobody likes to bother with stairs first thing in the morning.

You and Spencer find the empty rooms, side by side with direct access to the porch. You suppose there are worse rooms to have. Eager to step out onto the porch, you toss your bag on the bed and open the sliding door. Colorado's crisp air envelopes you as you step out and you take a deep breath. The air out here feels so clean and refreshing. Great Rocky National Park is directly in front of the porch, giving you an eagle's eye view of a portion of it as you lean onto the banister. Might as well enjoy a little bit of peace before you start working the case.

-----

"Three women were found in the same spot days apart from each other. All bludgeoned and stabbed through the heart." The Park Ranger speaks, indicating to the crime scene that's been barricaded with yellow tape. The Ranger stares at the scene, which is now an inconspicuous patch of dirt and grass, as if there weren't several dead women resting here. The scene is right beside a big body of crystal blue water.

You hang back from the rest of the team, opting to look at the surroundings instead of the immediate scene. The team knows now that finding the tiny details is your forte, and they leave you to your own devices in the beginning of investigations. The cold breeze causes you to hold your too-thin jacket closer to your body as you begin your observations.

"They were all found in the same spot?" Hotch asks the Ranger, who confirms that all of the victims were found in the exact same spot. As you examine the landscape, your eyes narrow in an attempt to find even the subtlest detail. Before too long, you see something out of place in the lush grass and walk over to it while pulling on a pair of gloves.

There's a pamphlet laying in the grass and upon further examination you see that it's been marked up like someone gave the traveler directions. Directions right to this spot. The killer lured at least one victim here. This trail is far off the beaten path, it's not marked by the Rangers. Only someone familiar with the area would know about it.

"Look at this." You call out to your team, and soon a few of them join your side to examine what you found. Spencer and Morgan look over your shoulder at the pamphlet, which is in better condition than you would've thought considering it was laying in grass beside a body of water.

"They're familiar with the area, they had this planned." Spencer speaks up and you nod your head, agreeing with him. Morgan holds out an evidence bag once he's done looking at it and you slip it inside, protecting it from any further damage. Morgan walks off with the pamphlet, leaving you and Spencer together, both deep in thought.

"What have you come up with so far?" You ask softly, curious to see if his theories line up with yours. Spencer shifts his weight and sighs, looking back to the crime scene.

"The killer is organized. They lured at least one victim right to this spot, and I'm assuming they did the same with the others. And they had to have brought the weapons with them. While there are branches to bludgeon people with, there's no evidence of anything nearby being cut down recently. If they used a natural object, it's likely they would've tried to blend it back in with nature." He explains and you nod your head along with what he's saying as you observe the scene and the scenery surrounding you.

"Unless they tossed the weapon into the water. They could have easily used a rock to bludgeon the victims." You counter his explanation. Spencer and you always did this with one another when forming theories. Not as to dissuade, or prove the other wrong, but to make your theories and explanations stronger. It's one of the qualities you most like about him. His eyes drift to the water.

"They could have. But they had to have brought the knife, there's no natural substitute that would leave that precise of a wound." He says, and you relent, agreeing with him.

"I want to question the Rangers, get their work schedules, and see the call logs. I also want to know where the victims were staying and if there's any camera footage of them in the welcome center." You shiver with a gust of wind and hold your arms tighter around your body as you walk off to gather the information you want.

Spencer decides to join you in going to the welcome center, claiming that in a huge national forest that none of us should be traveling alone. He has a good point, but you wouldn't have objected to his company either way. The Ranger from the scene escorts you two to the welcome center in his cruiser, the warm air letting your fingers regain their feeling.

"Who found the bodies?" You ask as you hold your hands in front of the vent emitting warm air. The Ranger looks at you through the rearview mirror before focusing on the road again.

"I found one and Birch found the others during his patrols." He answers and you mentally make a note to find Birch.

"Is that area regularly patrolled?" You push further for more information and the Ranger shakes his head.

"No, it wasn't, until I found the first girl. She had to have been out there for at least three days. After that I sent Birch out to keep an eye on the area. He found victim two a couple days after the first, and found the third a single day after the second." He says and you look to Spencer, both noting the decrease in time between kills. A sinking feeling in your stomach tells you that if you don't find the killer soon, then you may be finding a fourth victim any day now.

Once you reach the welcome center, the Rangers are more than happy to provide you with the security camera footage, work schedules, call logs, and anything else you may need. In fact, it's Ranger Birch that hands over the information himself. He's a young man, maybe mid twenties, with meticulously groomed hair and pressed uniform pants.

"Thank you." You tell him with a warm smile, taking the footage and other information off the counter and into your hands. He nods back with a wide, white-toothed smile and tells you and Spencer to come back if you need anything else. The moment you step out of the welcome center you give Spencer a pointed look with a raised eyebrow.

"What do you think?" He asks you before you can ask him. You lick your lips and glance back into the welcome center, Ranger Birch still looking at you. Your eyes find Spencer's and you motion for him to follow you.

"I think he takes pride in both his appearance and work, and he knows the park well." Hotch pulls up in a black SUV to pick you and Spencer up to return you to the cabin, where the entire team will discuss what's been found so far.

-----

The trip up to the cabin only takes about ten minutes. Your mind works to put pieces of the puzzle together the entire trip back, but there's just not enough known information yet, and it bothers you. You like to have answers quickly because the faster you get answers, the less people will die. Your leg bounces up and down the entire way back, eager to begin deciphering the evidence.

The SUV comes to a stop outside the cabin and before Hotch can turn the car off, you're out and making your way to the entrance. A man dressed in a casual flannel shirt hunched over the flowerbeds stops you in your tracks before you get to the front door. He wipes the dirt from his landscaping gloves onto his worn overalls as he greets you.

"Good afternoon ma'am, I hope you enjoy your stay here. I'm James, I do the landscaping work around here and a few other cabins nearby." He offers you a warm smile, which you try your best to return, but your anticipation is causing you to become short.

"Nice meeting you." You go to walk into the cabin, but James' voice stops you once more. Spencer and Hotch approach, engaged in a conversation likely pertaining to what happened at the welcome center.

"Wait, ma'am. I never caught your name." James smile is reminiscent of an old friend, and he looks at you expectedly. Against your best wishes, you answer him, not wanting to be unnecessarily rude to your host.

"We'll, it's been a pleasure to meet you. Maybe I'll catch you around before you head out. Are you here for work?" He continues his conversation as Spencer and Hotch walk into the cabin undeterred by the landscaper. Maybe if you had just slowed down one of them would've been caught instead. James' eyes linger on the items in your hands.

"Yeah, the whole team is here for work." You answer, shuffling some items around in your grasp. James nods his head and tears his gaze away from the items, the warm smile returning to his face.

"Must be some important work if a whole team is here. By the looks of you all I'd say you're some sort of police." He guesses, eyeing the firearm that's strapped to your thigh. Your eyes narrow at the man, and you nod.

"Yeah, something like that. I really have to get going, they're probably waiting for me in there. Have a nice night, James." You find your exit route out of the conversation with the friendly mannered landscaper. As you step through the door you hear his voice call out to you once more.

"If there's anything I can do to help, number's in the guestbook." The door closes, and the conversation finally ends.

Taking a cleansing breath, you join the rest of the team who are all gathered around the rectangular dining table, which has been designated as the investigation headquarters. On the table are a slew of files, photos, and papers. You add the information gathered from the welcome center to that collection and Hotch starts the conversation.

Hotch reviews the known information and circulates photos of the victims. They're all beautiful young women, and according to Garcia, were staying at nearby resorts and cabins for vacation. The photos get passed to you and you look at them intently, committing to memory every detail you can absorb before you pass them along. It's obvious that these victims were chosen because of their physical appearance, they all share the same basic features such as hair color, eye color, and stature. And eerily, you seem to match the profile as well. 

"The physical appearance of the victim is important to the unsub. Having three victims with similar features is no mistake, nor is it a coincidence." You add to the conversation, seeing your team members look from you to the photos on the table. 

"Maybe the victims represent someone who scorned the unsub? Extracting revenge through them." Spencer suggests, and it's a good theory. You chew on the skin of your bottom lip as your mind races with theories and trying to piece the information together like a puzzle. 

After the general briefing, Hotch assigns Morgan and Prentiss to interview the Park Rangers to establish alibis, JJ and Garcia to continue conducting their online investigation, and Spencer and yourself to go over the welcome center footage. Hotch was going to speak to the people running the cabins the victims were staying at to see if there are any leads there. 

You and Spencer are on the second hour of footage when your eyes start becoming heavy. Reaching for the remote, you pause the footage and stretch, needing to take a break. 

"You want some coffee?" You ask him, needing something to keep yourself awake. He nods his head, 

"Yes, please." You stand from your seat and go to the kitchen to prepare the two of you some coffee. You're sure to put an ungodly amount of sugar in Spencer's, knowing that if you don't you'll hear him complain about it. And most times you enjoy the sound of his voice, but you don't know if you can stand hours of CCTV footage and him complaining about a lack of sugar right now.

You return to the table and place his mug in front of him, steam rising from it. You sip your own and resume your position at the table and reach for the remote. Spencer reaches for it at the same time, your hands brushing one another's. His hand is warm and soft, perfect for the chilly autumn air. 

"Sorry." You say, pulling your hand away and forcing any other thought than the footage from your mind, knowing that there's already a faint pink adorning your cheeks. No matter how long you've worked with him, even just simple touches is enough to send you spiraling if you let it. You try not to delve into what that might mean; you profile people for a living, the last thing you want to do is profile yourself. Without a word, Spencer just smiles back politely and presses play. 

The footage rolls and you two identify the victims who all showed up unaccompanied, which you find odd considering they were on vacation with their families. Your hand jots down quick notes in sloppy handwriting as you critically examine what you do, and don't, see in the footage. Spencer and you replay the footage showing the victims easily five times each, both silently taking notes, knowing you're going to compare soon. After watching the third victim's footage for the last time, you look over to Spencer, who's face is illuminated by the golden glow of the setting sun. 

"Do you want to go first?" He asks and you nod, trying not to stare at how the sunlight reflects the amber color in his warm prismatic eyes. You look down to your notes and try to get your thoughts straight before speaking. 

"I noted that all three victims walked into the welcome center with a pamphlet already in hand. None of them took the ones provided by the park. They all showed up alone. I can only assume that the unsub gave them the pamphlets with instructions on how to find the scene. Only, I'm willing to bet it was framed as a good-intentioned suggestion. There's no way those women would have gone if they didn't trust the unsub to some degree." Your eyes glance from your horribly written notes up to Spencer, who's leaning on the table, clinging to every word you say. He hums in consideration before he speaks up.

"I would agree. And if the victims were all staying at tourist destinations, those pamphlets were likely already there. So now the question is whether or not the unsub talked to them at their cabins or before they walked into the welcome center." He says, and a lightbulb goes off in your mind. 

"Wouldn't it make more sense for the unsub to speak to them at their cabins? I mean, if the unsub caught them in the parking lot there's a chance they might have their families with them. But if the unsub spoke to them at their cabins, the women might be persuaded to leave their families behind for some reason." You say, going with the logical deductions that pop into your mind. Spencer mulls over your words, his eyes narrowing, staring back at you in deep thought. 

"You're right. The unsub likely works for the resorts. It would give them access to the victims and it wouldn't be weird for them to give suggestions to guests." He confirms what you thought and you look back to the screen, seeing the third victim frozen in time. 

"We should let the team know." You say and Spencer nods. The two of you finish off your coffee and wait for the rest of the team to arrive. You're confident that the two of you have a solid lead on this case. You only hope you can find the unsub before there's a fourth victim.

-----

The sun sets on the scenic landscape and you lean against the banister of the wraparound porch. The rest of the team isn't back yet, and the last thing you want to do is stay inside when it's so beautiful out here. The snowcapped mountain in the distance gleams brilliantly, and it's almost blinding, but you can't look away. Sounds of water rushing and birds chirping fill the air and if you let your mind relax enough it's almost like you're not here to solve murders. 

Your head rests atop of your arms on the railing and you breathe in the cool air. The breeze gently blows your hair around, sending a shiver up your spine. You had severely underestimated how cold it would be here, and as a result, you failed to pack adequately because you were basing your packing off of Virginia fall time temperatures, which are noticeably warmer. 

The sliding door opens and you turn to see Spencer walking out of his room. He joins your side and leans forward on the railing, looking out at the breathtaking view. His curly brown hair gets blown into his face, and you have to stop yourself from reaching out and tucking it behind his ear. You're also enjoying the breathtaking view. 

He looks at peace, which is not something you usually see in him. His mind works overtime almost twenty four hours a day, especially on cases. It has to be torturous sometimes, to never get a reprieve from your own thoughts; and that's something you know all too well. There are some nights where you can't sleep because gruesome memories from the job haunt you. 

Noticing that you're staring at him, you turn your gaze back to the colorful trees. The two of you enjoy a moment of tranquility together, a rare moment in the fast-paced career you pursued. A bird flies by, and you can only imagine what that freedom feels like. Most times you feel like your job keeps you cemented in one place, always dealing with death and the most heinous monsters that reside in this world. You often forget just how beautiful and free life can be. 

A particularly crisp breeze comes through and you visibly shiver, which Spencer notices. Without a word, he goes into his room and comes back moments later with the throw blanket that was folded at the bottom of the bed. It's burnt orange in color and is made of faux fur, warm and soothing. Spencer drapes it over your shoulders and you hold onto the ends, keeping it secure around you. If you could stay in this moment forever, you would. 

Spencer stands so closely beside you that you feel his warmth coming through the blanket, and without much thought, or care, you lean into him just slightly. He makes no effort to move, and the two of you stay like that for what seems like an eternity. His warmth and his smell are so comforting and makes you feel safe. Deep down in your heart you know he makes you feel at home.

The two of you enjoy each other's company in a peaceful silence. There's never been the need to fill the silence with him, like there is the others. While you two are quite talkative in the team dynamic, when you find yourselves alone it's often relaxed with no expectations. You two talk when you want, or is needed, but when there's nothing to say you're more than happy to just be around him. And you hope he feels the same about you, and you think he does, but you're never brave enough to ask for fear of ruining whatever relationship it is that you two share.

Sighing, you cuddle yourself further into the blanket as the sun dips lower and lower, the golden hue turning orange. Spencer moves beside you, and you see his fingers twitch, like he was going to reach out for something but doesn't. Your head turns to look at him above you, and his head lowers, so that your eyes meet one another. 

You had always known his eyes were beautiful, but up this close you can truly admire the depth of them. The golden hues remind you of the sunsets, the green in them is like the rich moss that adorns the sides of the rocks; or like the pine needles on the tall trees, and the brown is reminiscent of swirling espresso. Taken aback from his closeness and the heat creeping up your spine, your lips fall open and his eyes glance between them and your eyes. He's so close to you, your bodies practically pressed against one another. You feel yourself being drawn to him, like he has his own magnetic pull. 

But whatever was about to happen is cut short by the rest of the team arriving back to the cabin. You and Spencer seem to come back to reality and step away from one another. Flustered, you unwrap the blanket from your shoulders and hand it back to him, already missing the warmth.

"Thank you." Your voice is soft and tender, and his hand brushes your own as he grabs the blanket from you. 

"Of course." He smiles softly back, and the two of you part ways to join the rest of your team downstairs to catch up on the latest information. But you can barely pay attention to what is being said, for your mind is drowning with flashes of Spencer out on the porch. 

-----

The next morning you wake up as the sun shines in through the windows, illuminating the room beautifully and warmly. Hotch had given everyone the night to mull over the information and said that the investigation will pick right back up in the morning. After you get dressed and ensure your service weapon is properly attached to the harness around your thigh, you make your way down the stairs for a morning cup of coffee. Morgan, Prentiss, and Hotch are already sat at the table, picking at some toast for breakfast as they get the sleep rid from their systems. 

You make a cup for yourself and Spencer, knowing he will be up any moment now. As per usual, too much sugar gets put into his and then you pour your own. The warm drink calms your nerves and you close your eyes, trying to get your mind prepared for whatever the day may bring. You know there may very well be a fourth victim found soon and you need to be on the top of your game to find the unsub.

"Good morning." A raspy voice makes your eyes open, and you see Spencer walking into the kitchen, dressed in a button up and tie. It's quite casual for him, but you like it, it looks nice on him. 

"Good morning, made yours right here." You say and nod over to the mug on the counter. He looks from you to the mug with a smile on his face.

"Thanks." He says, and the two of you stay in the kitchen, sipping on your coffee and waiting for Hotch to give everyone orders. 

"Feeling good about today?" It's something you always ask when an investigation seems to be coming to a close. You think it sets a tone, an expectation that the team will succeed. Spencer sips his drink and nods, 

"I feel good about today." He confirms, flashing his bright white smile. 

Last night, after the team had arrived, Hotch had shown everyone the list of employees from the neighboring resorts and cabins and today the team will be interviewing those employees. You're convinced the unsub has to be on that list and you intend to find out who it is. The questions have already been sorted in your mind, though you're able to adapt to anyone's personality and are prepared to get answers. 

"Same teams as yesterday, we're going to divide and conquer." Hotch says, handing each team a list of names. You look down at the list he handed you and see that there are a total of fifteen employees for the small resort that you and Spencer are covering. It catches your attention that seven of the fifteen are women, and you mentally place them lower on your suspect list. This doesn't seem like a crime women usually commit, no, this seems like the work of a man as evidenced by the brute force used. 

Morgan and Prentiss take off in one car, Hotch takes another, leaving you and Spencer with your own SUV. The two of you gather your needed materials, such as photos and notepads, before you head out. Spencer grabs the keys and tells you that he's going to warm up the car as you finish organizing your things, and you're grateful for that. Sitting in a cold car doesn't really appeal to you right now. 

Once you're content with the items you've chosen to bring along you head out of the cabin. The bright light almost blinds you, and you squint in order to see. From the corner of your eye you see something move, and when you turn to look you see it's the landscaper from the other day, already flagging you down. Resisting the strong urge to just ignore him, you wait for him to reach you on the porch steps. He looks like he's already been hard at work today, he's covered in dirt and sweat. 

"Well good mornin'. Got anything interesting going on today?" He asks, shielding his eyes from the light with his gloved hand. You shift your weight and look to the running SUV, already planning your escape route out of this conversation. 

"Uh, yeah, you could say it'll be an interesting day." You reply as politely as you can. James smiles widely at your response. 

"What sort of thing you have planned?" He asks and you sigh, not wanting to be part of this conversation any longer. 

"I'm not at liberty to say, but I've gotta go, my partner is waiting for me." You excuse yourself from the conversation before he can get another word in. From behind you, you hear him say. 

"Well alright then, I'll be around if you need anything." As you slide into the driver's side of the car and hand your bag to Spencer, you see the man heading back to the tool shed. 

"That's twice now that he's singled me out." You say, keeping your eye on him for a moment longer, watching his moves. The fact that you match the victim profile is not lost on you, and you think it might be making you just slightly paranoid.

"I noticed that too. Could be that you were the first one there the last time, and the last one out this time, but it's definitely something to keep note of." Spencer says as you drive off to the tiny resort the two of you had been assigned. You know he might be right, but the man went out of his way to flag you down this morning and completely ignored everyone else. An uneasy feeling in your stomach tells you that the landscaper should be looked into more thoroughly. 

When you and Spencer reach the resort you waste no time in beginning your investigations. The two of you are laser focused on the task at hand, and agree to split the list equally. Spencer volunteered himself to question the extra person. Luckily, the front desk attendant was more than helpful and secured two rooms for the interviews to be conducted. 

The first four interviews go by without incident, all front desk attendants and kitchen workers who have no indication of manipulative traits and answer your questions openly. You've done this enough times to spot exactly what you're looking for, you know what gets under the skin of unsubs, especially the organized ones who think they have it all figured out. 

A couple other interviewees give you good information about the victim who stayed here. They tell you how they remember seeing her with her family in the hall, and how nothing seemed out of the ordinary in the room when it was cleaned. Hotch had questioned the families last night, and cleared them from the suspects list. 

By the time you reach the end of your list, you know you can safely cross every one of them off. None of them responded to the misinformation you sprinkled in the questions, things the unsub would've been known to be untrue. And none of them had any sort of reaction to you insulting the intelligence of the unsub, something that would have surely set them off in some way. But to your dismay, none of them had any clue of who could be capable of this kind of malice. Typically, there's at least one person who's able to spot something weird about someone, but not this time. 

You group back up with Spencer, the two of you comparing notes in the room he used for his questioning. He had the same results as you and you both were hoping someone else on the team was more successful. 

"We got all of them except for James Hilton. The others said he bounces around to each place and some days he's not even here." Spencer says, pointing out the only uncrossed name from the list. 

"James Hilton. That's the landscaper." You say, barely able to recall his name from yesterday. The uneasy feeling in your stomach grows. 

-----

In the afternoon, the team reconvenes in the cabin around the table to compare findings. Every other agent was able to interview everyone but James Hilton. Granted, his job requires him to go from location to location, but it seems like he's been hanging out around this cabin often. However, he was nowhere to be found when everyone came back. But maybe he went to another location to work on their flowerbeds. 

"We'll need to get his statement today. Anyone up to track him down?" Usually you volunteer to go after someone like this, but something is telling you not to, and you listen to your instincts. Thankfully Morgan offers to track him down, and Prentiss joins him once more. You pick at a piece of paper on the table as your mind works, mulling over what you know about the case and the overly-friendly landscaper. 

Before Morgan and Prentiss leave, Spencer informs the team about the conversations that James has dragged you into. You tell them exactly what happened, and they all agree that it seems suspicious. Hotch goes off to make some calls to JJ and Garcia, leaving you and Spencer at the table. 

"Hey, are you okay?" Spencer asks, leaning forward on the table. His voice snaps you out of your trance and you cease to fiddle with the paper. 

"Me? Yeah I'm fine, why?" You ask, not sure why he's concerned. He looks conflicted, opening and closing his mouth a few times before he answers. 

"Well, it's just that you fit the victim profile and the conversations with the landscaper seem to be suspicious. And you keep playing with the paper which is an indication of anxiety." He says, trying his best to not profile you in front of your face. 

"Spencer, I'm okay, promise. I was just thinking." You tell him, and it's the truth. While James makes you feel uneasy, you're confident that nothing will happen to you. Spencer nods and you stand from the table, wanting to inspect the cabin with finer detail and stretch your legs. 

After going from room to room looking for the tiniest thing that might be relevant to the case, you find yourself staring at the same photo that caught Spencer's eye when you all first arrived. There's something about it, something about the discolored spot, that you just can't let go of. It's bothering you for some reason. Frustrated, you take it off the wall and bring it to where Spencer is in the main living area, nose in a book. He looks up from the page when he hears you coming, his eyebrows scrunching closely together. 

"What are you doing?" He asks, putting the book on a side table. You place the painting on the large coffee table and put your hands on your hips. 

"There's something about this that's driving me insane." You say, eyes drifting from Spencer's face to the painting. It takes Spencer all of ten seconds to analyze the painting again. 

"It's the same place the bodies were found." He says and your eyes widen, taking in the scene again and realizing he's right. 

"Wait. If this is the same place the bodies were found, then that, is the exact spot they were in." You say, pointing to the discolored spot. The discoloration is where the grass meets the water, the mountain in the background. Your eyes drift to the bottom corner of the painting where you see a cursive 'J' painted in white. 

"Do you think the killer is the one who painted this?" Spencer asks you, and you nod. 

"I'm sure of it. There's a J painted in the corner. It has to be Hilton. Can you call Garcia?" You ask, mind feeling like it's running a marathon. Spencer doesn't hesitate to get Garcia on the phone. 

"Hello my beautiful boy genius, what can I do for you today?" Penelope's voice sounds throughout the room and you smirk at her entertaining phone greeting. 

"Hello my beautiful computer genius, can you do me a favor?" You speak first and you can hear her laugh through the phone. 

"Oh my darling anything for you." Her voice is melodic and you shake your head at her antics. You love Garcia, she's one of your closest friends inside and outside of work. 

"Can you find anything on a James Hilton from the Boulder, Colorado area?" You ask her, knowing your answer is about to be served on a silver platter in just a few moments. Garcia's quick typing echoes through the phone. 

"James Hilton, born and raised in Boulder. Has been working as a property manager for the last ten years at the property you all are staying at. Has one traffic record from the nineties, but other than that he's clean." She says, but you were hoping for something more incriminating. 

"Anything about a wife, or a girlfriend? Maybe even a sister or mother?" You ask her, staring down a the painting. 

"It looks like he was in a long term relationship with Valerie Wilson, also of Boulder. But according to her Facebook page, they are over with." She says, Spencer and you looking at each other, knowing you may have just found a potential piece of the puzzle. 

"Perfect. Can you tell me what she looks like and how to contact her?" You ask and write down the details Garcia recites. After you get the needed information, Spencer hangs up and calls Hotch to inform him of what the two of you just found out. Hotch tells us that he's on his way back to the cabin after he's done with the last interview. 

The painting lays in front of you two, and you take a seat on the arm of the chair Spencer is sitting in, your leg brushing up against his and your arm resting behind his head to keep yourself stable. Your eyes are glued to the discoloration, and you know there's just something about it that's more than just not being able to find the right shade. 

"Is there a way to see if something has been painted over?" You ask Spencer rather than Googling it, knowing he can probably get you an answer faster. He clears his throat and nods his head.

"A few years ago it was found that Vincent Van Gogh painted over several of his works due to the cost of canvas. Experts used x-ray to see through the layers, revealing the original painting." His answer is exactly what you were looking for.

"We have to get this thing x-rayed. And someone needs to contact Valerie and ask her about her relationship with James. His tool shed should be examined as well" You jump off the chair's arm, ready to leave immediately, but having to wait for Hotch before you can proceed with anything else. 

-----

Hours later, your leg is bouncing up and down, eagerly awaiting the results of the x-ray. The hospital staff had never encountered something quite like this, but you were thankful that they were cooperative. Spencer had come along with you while Hotch stayed back to get in contact with Valerie. You check your phone every ten seconds to see if you have a new message for him, but your screen is blank.

Thankfully, a few minutes later an x-ray technician comes out and beckons you to a dark room where she clips the x-ray images onto a lightboard. While the images aren't in color, you can still see exactly what you need to. The images show that where the discoloration is, there used to be a woman standing and a man on one knee. A gasp leaves your mouth, the pieces finally fitting together in your mind. Without a doubt, James is the unsub. 

Spencer and you race back to the cabin and spill the findings to the rest of the team. Hotch informs you that Valerie had confirmed that James recently proposed, but she turned him down. All of the victims match her appearance. He must have been killing to fulfill some sort of revenge he felt was necessary. 

The team calls each of the resorts that James is employed at only to find that he's not at any of them. While the others scramble to try and find a way to find him, your eyes land on the guestbook. 

"Guys. I can call him. He told me his number is in the guestbook and we know I fit the profile. He won't be able to help himself." You say, and the others don't have any good reason as to why you shouldn't do it. Your hands shake from the adrenaline as you dial the numbers and the phone rings, your heartbeat resounding in your ears. You're so close to catching this depraved man. 

"Hello?" He answers finally. You let go of a breath you weren't aware you were holding and speak up.

"Hi James, you told me to call you if I needed help with anything. And, um, I think I might have broken one of the outside lights." You quickly come up with a lie, hoping to lure him out here for the arrest. You hear him moving around on the other end and the start of an engine. 

"Of course, I'll be there in just a moment, honey." He says and you hang up the phone, trying not to gag from his pet name. 

It takes James all of fifteen minutes to reach the cabin. When he pulls up, the entire team is waiting for him, but you were the one with cuffs in your hands. As soon as his feet hit the ground, Hotch and Morgan were out the door ordering him to the ground. With smug satisfaction, you step over the man and secure his hands in cuffs behind his back. 

As the local police show up to take him away, he's spitting every expletive in the book at you. Rage and hatred show themselves very clearly on his face, and you see who he really is. You smile sickly sweet at him as he's shoved into the back of the cop car. Another monster off the street, unable to do harm to another woman. It's like a weight gets lifted from your shoulders. 

-----

After the excitement of the arrest, you come down off your adrenaline rush. The rest of the team are packing, getting ready to leave in the morning, but you can't find it within yourself to do it. You're too struck by the beauty in front of you to worry about going back home. You just don't want to part with this yet. So you find yourself out on the wraparound porch once more, the sun retreating far too quickly behind the horizon for your liking. 

Despite the waning sun, the landscape looks brighter, more vibrant now that you know that the killer is in custody. Usually, the team gets only a few hours of celebration before you're saddled with paperwork and the next case. A bird flies past again, and you appreciate its freedom again. Its sweet melodies carry in the breeze and soothes your weary soul. 

You love your job, you can't imagine doing anything else, but it does wear on you. Both physically and mentally. Before you had started working with the team, you never could have imagined the kind of evil lurking everywhere, even in a place as gorgeous as this. But now, it's like wherever you look, no matter how beautiful the surroundings, you can always spot something amiss. You feel weighted by the knowledge of what reality actually is. 

The familiar sound of the sliding door catches your attention, and you see Spencer coming towards you, blanket in hand. A smile finds its way onto your face as he closes the distance between you, securing the blanket around your shoulders. Just like yesterday, he stands right beside you, admiring the view. 

"The others are all leaving tonight, they said they want to get a headstart on the papers. But I told them we'd go back in the morning." His voice is raspy, yet soft.

"But what about the plane?" You ask, eyebrows knitting together. He shrugs his shoulders and looks down at you. 

"I told them we'd fly back in the morning, already have the tickets arranged." He says, easing some of your anxiousness, but not satisfying your curiosity.

"Why?" You search for the answer on his face. 

"Because I saw how much you like it here. You deserve one workless night." He says with sincerity and your heart swells at the sentiment. You fully turn towards him, soft blanket draped lightly across your shoulders. You notice that Spencer has traded his button up for a simple pullover. Something so simple has never looked so good before. 

"Thank you, you really didn't have to-" He cuts you off with a smile, 

"I know, but I wanted to." He admits, pink coloring his cheeks. You stare up at him in awe, not quite sure what you did to deserve his thoughtfulness. Not being able to hold back your affections, you reach out and engulf him in a hug. 

"Thank you, Spencer." You reiterate into his chest, feeling his arms wrap around you. After a few fleeting, precious moments, you let go of him. Staring up into his eyes, you reach a hand up and stroke the soft skin of his cheekbone with your thumb. He doesn't flinch from your touch like he does with others, no, he leans into it as if he's savoring the feeling.

His arm that was around your waist come up to cup your cheek, and he gently brings your face towards his, pressing a tender kiss to your lips. You hold him close, a flurry of warmth spreading from your face down to your body. His other hand finds its way around your waist, securing you to his body. 

You break the kiss as your chest begins burning with the need of oxygen, and he rests his forehead against yours. Your hands come up to gently grasp the sides of his face, keeping him in place so that you can admire his beauty. After minutes pass by in silence as you two appreciate each other, Spencer tilts his head up and kisses your forehead. 

He turns you around so that you're facing away from him, and he grabs the blanket from around your shoulders. Seconds later, you feel him standing behind you, wrapping the soft blanket around the both of you. His chest is behind you, and he hands you the edges of the blanket so that his hands might find the soft curve of your waist. Spencer pulls you in to him so that you're leaning back on his chest. 

His presence is enough to make you forget about the horrors of the world, of your job. Right now, it's just you and him, and you've never felt lighter; so unburdened. You're convinced that if he wasn't there, holding onto you with his magnetic pull, that you may just float away in the breeze like a feather. 

Spencer rests his head atop of yours as the two of you relax your minds and bodies, focusing solely on each other and the scene in front of you. Your hands come down to entwine themselves with his with a soft smile on your face. 

A lone tear falls from the corner of your eye as you're overcome with emotion. You cannot recall a single time in your life that you've felt this serene, where everything just feels perfect. Your soul is well nourished and full from Spencer alone. All of those cases you worked together, the stolen glances across the office, the simple acts of kindness and thoughtfulness for each other has culminated to this one precious moment in time; and you've never felt more content. 

The sun eventually sets behind the horizon, the chilly breeze billowing the blanket around you both. Above you in the sky, the stars shine brightly, and you tip your head back to admire them. You can never admire their true beauty in Quantico, their shine is dulled by light pollution, but you can see them clearly here. You can see everything clearly here.

"You know, scientists estimate that there are about two hundred sextillion stars in the sky within the Milky Way." Spencer whispers in your ear as you two bask in their soft white light. You turn around in his hold and smile up at him, 

"And yet none shine as brilliantly or as beautifully as you." You say, and pull him in for another soft, heartfelt kiss. As you pull away, you watch as his eyes flutter open and he smiles endearingly. You've never seen such a beautiful sight, never felt comfort as warm as him, and you know as you lean into his embrace, that you will not bear the weight of this world or this life alone. 

[priincebutt]

Oh hello chickens, and happy Sunday but also Happy St. Patrick's day, aka our lord and savior Hozier's birthday!!! I don't have a ton of things I can give you today, I'm working really hard on big bang things right now but I'm not quite ready to share anything from there yet (soon, soon!!). So today you're getting a lil bit more of Dragon Riders AU, or as I have titled the doc 'All's Fair in Love and Dragons.' lmao. So a big thank you to @tailsbeth-writes , @wordsofhoneydew , @taste-thewaste , @firenati0n , @piratefalls , @onthewaytosomewhere , @junebugclaremontdiaz , and @sunnysideprince for the tags!!

It’s why he’d insisted on training with the common recruits at the Mountchristen-Windsor War College – he needs to be a part of the people, needs to be seen as a peer and not a superior. Henry has spent plenty of time learning what makes a great leader in his history lessons, studying past kings and generals and knowing all about their shortcomings and strengths, but he feels that it’s best if he could just… be a part of the troops. Which is what brings him here, to this mat in a training room, circling idly as his opponent looks him up and down and… smirks. “I have a vague idea,” the tall man agrees, and he runs a hand through his hair, tousles his dark curls as he sweeps them away from his deep brown eyes as if he’s trying to get a better view of Henry. His head cocks to the side as he stalks around the mat like a panther eyeing his prey, like he’s trying to find Henry’s vulnerabilities and weak spots, trying to press at the joints and see where he will bow and break. Henry juts his chin up, and takes up his starting stance, fists at shoulder height, knees bent, center of gravity shifting from his front to back foot as he waits for his opponent to strike.

It's a lot more than six sentences but happy birthday to you all lmao. I'm going to tag @duchessdepolignaca03, @zwiazdziarka , @sparklepocalypse , @anincompletelist @heybuddy-drabbles , @firstsprinces , @magicandarchery , @hgejfmw-hgejhsf , @forever-fixating , @itsmaybitheway and an open tag for anyone who may want it!

[stardust-sunset]

skipper you’re too nice and kind to say this so i’m gonna say it because i’m feeling bitchy today. i know it’s comforting to imagine that yalls faves like all the same things you do and some of yall desperately want kyle to be this soft uwu guy but let’s be so for real right now. kyle would not be a fucking taylor swift fan. where are people even getting this from? he canonically listens to hip hop and new wave and has never shown any interest in girly pop music, unlike some of his friends cough cartman cough. also, most regular dudes (which kyle is) don’t like taylor swift. if we’re gonna modernize his music taste i honestly see him being more likely to listen to music like drake, childish gambino, and tame impala over taylor swift. maybe hozier if you really wanna give him a soft side. wendy, shelley, and cartman are RIGHT THERE they would be the swifties, not kyle. he’d actually be more likely to be super annoying about his music taste and act superior because he listens to the smiths than be a swiftie. i will die on this hill. ok bye im gonna go work on my 100% ACCURATE kyle playlist

aw that’s nice that you think i’m kind lol-people usually tell me i’m bitchy.

but yeah.i do agree with this. kyle isn’t a taylor fan im sorry. there’s no way he would like any of her music, county, pop, folk song, whatever. he hates her music. he would respect everything she’s done but he doesn’t get why she’s so overhyped.

as for modern music taste i say beastie boys.. (no sleep til brooklyn hits hard tb) maybe some fall out boy in there, but not the really edgy ones. i sort of agree with the hozier bit? hozier is more stan’s thing imo, but like i can see kyle liking jackie and wilson. like if hozier came on the radio he wouldn’t turn it off (unless it’s smth like like real people do, i can’t see him liking songs with that sort of beat) but he wouldn’t be actively enjoying it. he would love drake. eminem as well. maybe pop smoke. i can see him being an early kanye fan but he stopped listening to him when he started going off the deep wnd. he would like rap and hip hop and stuff.

tbh i don’t usually know how to respond to a head anon i disagree with without sounding mean or anything. i don’t wanna make people feel bad. but kyle being a taylor fan just doesn’t make sense to me.

[penroseparticle]

Penrose Song of the Day Day 41: Feel Good by Gibbz ft. Russ Liquid

I'm having trouble writing because I'm having trouble deciding what's worth saying. What is there to say that hasn't been said already. I'm but one monkey with a typewriter, cut me some slack.

I've been thinking about taste, and recommendations, and what the music we like says about us. I've been thinking about arrogance, and cruelty, and a little bit about No True Scotsman fallacies, too. I just. I don't know. What is "good" music and why are so many people fans of "bad" music.

I don't think bad music even exists, at least not really. I think music like any medium has so many competing and often contradictory delivery methods, goals, audiences, and interpretations that a categorical verdict like that is, frankly, Quixotic. I think about things like Throbbing Gristle and Clown Core, like Taylor Swift and Imagine Dragons, like Jungkook and 21 Savage and JVKE and Drake and AJR and all of the people who would say you're not listening to "real music" or "good music". There's a pity that's normalized with the superiority of your music tastes.

On the other hand, the more you learn and deeper you dive into anything, the more repetition you hear. The more you see things as hackneyed or trite. You've seen it before, heard it before, etc. You learn when someone was stolen from, when an artist is just rehashing something or taking from an entire genre/subculture that they weren't part of. Wider eyes see the ugly truths right?

I don't know. It's tough. I wonder if there's an answer that's satisfactory.

I saw Gibbz live, actually. Back in... 2017? I was seeing... I think A SIlent Film? With my good friend Katie. This was back when she would suggest we go see a band and I would just say yes. I think Gibbz opened. I don't remember. Shout Out Rock and Roll Hotel, I miss that venue.

Gibbz wasn't what I was expecting. A little smooth, a little mischievous. Like a wink between good friends. Electronic but soulful. A Silent Film was more classic, traditional rock. Gibbz was one guy at the front with a synth and a crooner's deathgrip on the microphone.

I went up and spoke to him after his set. It was a small venue, he was an opening artist, I just told him I loved his stuff and I really loved I Really Love You (which is still my favorite Gibbz song, for the record). He was kind. He said thanks, and how it was humbling to be playing live. It was a nice interaction.

I think, given the time and money to do so, I want to get back to doing this. Just going to shows blind, of artists I've never heard of, in genre's I've never imagined.

What does all this have to do with taste. I meander, I know. I'll bring it back.

I think I have pretty basic, milquetoast tastes. I like pretty average music. I have a passing interest in things with more obscurity- I like melodic forms of metal, I keep a finger on the pulse of industrial for Lauren. I'm finding myself drawn more to house, classical, and jazz. I like Math Rock.

But cards on the table, my favorite type of music with a bullet is Hot Pop Girlies Having Fun (tm). The Sabrina Carpenters. The Dua Lipas. My second favorite type of music is apparently Men Being Sad (the Hoziers of the world). I don't think that's ever going to change. And I'm trying to be more ok with that. I'm trying to stop letting audience or surveilance or observation change what I like and what I enjoy. I'm trying to unlearn shame.

I don't know. I just want to listen to something I love. You know?

I've stopped sharing music with a lot of people in my life (I'm aware of the irony of having that rumination on this kind of post, thanks). There's like 3 people I share music with IRL and I basically only listen to music with headphones these days. I want to make music one day but I'm struggling to see what the point is. I gotta remember the effusive joy that comes from creation, but I also need to remember, somehow, some way, that sharing music is good, actually.

Anyways, enjoy this song. I hope you feel how this song feels, at least to me. Chill, soulful, grateful to be alive, and above all, I hope that you feel good.

You could be dead right now. Go listen to something you love.

[zoomire]

It was a few days ago but hi. Pama for th hc ask game? And if you’ll take more than just one in one ask, Aiden or Romeo, perhaps.

So uhh… I already answered to both Pama and Romeo, so it’s Aiden time!

Favorite thing about them?

He is a perfect lesson on why it’s a terrible idea to bottle up emotions and how unhealthy coping mechanisms are very self destructive. Insecurities? He projects onto others, which leads to his friends turning away from him. Wither storm trauma? To feel in control of his life, he controls others. Feeling of inferiority? He starts acting superior from others.

Least favorite thing about them?

Honestly? How the actual implications of his actions weren’t fully talked about. He burned down a city that people used to live in. The possibility of someone getting at least injured during the destruction are VERY high.

Songs I associate with them:

I have a whole playlist, however these are the songs I associate with him the most:

Poor George - James Supercave

Losing Face - Wilbur Soot

Arsonist’s Lullaby - Hozier

Symbolism I Associate with them?

I made a whole post about it: Lightning /nm

Three random headcanons:

Has a huge fear of lightening storms due to sky city.

Lukas never forgave him for his actions. (Let him be angry! LET AIDEN GET CONSEQUENCES)

As a part of his community work he chickensat Benedict while Isa was busy. Benedict got strangely attached to him.

Favorite pairing(s)? (Platonic and romantic):

(P) The Blaze Rods - They were and always will be siblings for me. Though I do think it would be the best for their development to separate from each other for at least few years. Especially Aiden from Maya and Gill.

(P)Reginald - I do think Reginald would be a good role model for Aiden to work towards. Plus it’s nice to think of their possible father/son dynamic.

(P)Romeo - Now, Romeo would be a great example for Aiden who he could become if he ran away from working on himself. Romeo could understand his pain and possibly help to guide him through it. Plus, I’m a sucker for Dadmeo headcanons.

(R)Cassie - For this post to not become overwhelming, I’ll just sum it up shortly. They both need to work on their relationships, but shouldn’t depend on their old bonds to fix them. Having similar experiences and faults, they would understand each other and not judge the other. Plus, a lot of their traits balance each other out and they could mutually help each other develop.

Hot/Lukewarm take:

I think fanon Aiden’s character is constantly getting reduced to his relationship to Lukas.

Surely, it is a part of him and his corruption, but once you look more into it and connect patterns there’s SOOO much more.

[jackdawandicarus]

WIP ASK GAME THINGAMAJIG

I was tagged by @the-laws-of-physics-were-harmed ^^

Idk to tag so u tag absolutely nobody/whoever sees this and wants to do this

rules: answer as many (or as few) of the questions about your WIP as you can.

1. What was the first part of your WIP that you created?

Chapter 1 babyyyyy. Idk what else to say here I started at the start with no plan (no money, no prospects-) and winged it. All I knew was that Ophelia and Zopyrus had to be bitten by werewolves. Fun fact! Zopyrus was originally going to die in this chapter, but now he doesn’t!

2. If your story was a TV show, what would the intro song be?

Uhhhhhh, lemme pull out my playlist real quick… Okay, sooooo, I think either Lights Go Down by I DON’T KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME or Eat Your Young by Hozier could work. ^^

3. Who are your favourite character(s) and why?

Kit because, um, idk I like putting him in situations (mental torture) the most. He’s probably followed by Arabella, because she is mentally unstable and very relatable and incredibly fun to write and- Raymond (formerly “Stevie”) is third because she is just my main chaotic character and has some nice character dynamics going on with the other characters. She is also a mess. All these guys are. I think that says something about myself. Oh, Ophelia is sneaking up on me again because I’m working on planning out her character arc right now.

4. What other pieces of media could share a fan base with your WIP?

The problem with this question is that I know next to nothing about any fandom I’m not part of so all of my possible answers sound self-indulgent as *fuck* to me. Like, I’m going to answer Six of Crows but tell me if that’s stupid (/gen) I honestly can’t tell. 😭✋

5. What has been your biggest struggle while writing your WIP?

🤓🔫 Writing it.

6. Are there any animals in your story?

The first book’s plot is smuggling a dragon across international waters so yeah. Also one of the protagonists (as well as multiple other characters) are werewolves if that counts. There’s also going to be some wolves I think? And some sort of bird motif I haven’t decided on yet. WAIT THERE’S DINOSAURS IN BOOK TWO OH MY GOD I JUST REMEMBERED!!!

7. How do your characters get around?

A variety of ways? On foot, by carriage, Icarus and Daedalus style (wings may or may not actually be real, depending on the character), on horseback, in a boat, on the back of ginormous hulking winged beast, or in a motorcar. The usual ways your average people of varying levels of humanity get around.

8. What part of your WIP are you working on right now?

Chapter 2! ^^ I am completely stuck. I hate writing character introductions because I am shit at writing character descriptions, I always write *way* too little or wayyyy too much. I also never know which aspects of a character’s appearance to describe.

9. What aspects of your WIP do you think will draw people in?

The ✨gay✨. The ✨werewolves✨. The ✨sheer genius of my inherently superior storytelling✨ /s. The ✨dragon✨. I really need to ✨stop putting sparkles around things✨ in this section. On a more serious note, I don’t know. Tell me what intrigues you most about my WIP, friend and fellow carbon-based lifeform, for I have no motherfucking clue in motherfucking hell.

[constantly-in-a-state-of-change]

Positive Femininity

Listen, i know TikTok is pretty toxic (ofc, so is every other social media, especially Tumblr) but i find the positive femininity side to be wonderful. Like, for me personally i spent so many years of my life not wanting to be super girly, and even though i don't feel like i was the kind of person to be like "I’m not like other girls, i like blue, so that's why i'm superior", or actively hating on feminine people, i do still personally feel like i missed out on so much. (Which i know a lot of other lesbians have experiences like this) For example, the "how i love being a woman!" sound is just so amazing to me because 1. i love Hozier 2. i genuinely love being a woman. And you want to know what? Those videos of women enjoying their life under that sound finally made me understand that. 

I found this video that really struck a chord in me, because i recognized i followed a lot of them. So please, if you need more 'big sis', positive feminine people in your life, watch this video and follow these creators!

(Also, would like to add Dylan Mulvaney. She is a superstar and seeing her so excited about being a woman is truly inspirational to me, and others.) <3

ps. TERF's and "Traditional" family type folks will be blocked if you try to interact.

[yvningshowers]

My moots as songs bc why tf not and bc my love is annoying duh

Find yourselves... below the cut...

Going in alphabetical order by ur url so u can find yourselves faster LMFAO

@cyancherub

CASSIE. Hi boo how r ya boostie yes hello bet you weren't expecting this LMFAO but... regardless I bestow upon you... ugh YOUR MUSIC TASTE IS SO DIFFERENT FROM MINE ALDNOWJD but I think... I'm going with

Jidenna's Sufi Woman... dear god it's so good. Ur a bruja a lil it's true LMFAO and I LOVE that about you qojfiwjdow

OH AND idk this is like... idk. this. yeah.

@hajimoon

KRIS QOFJOWNEOR ok ok ok.... HEH I'm excited ok ok here goes:

La Santa Cecilia's Como Dios Manda (sing it to Momo.... I triple dog dare you... no ovaries u won't...) and Girl in Red's We Fell in Love in October if I am off... if the vibes are off... I'm gonna jump off a cliff Kris ok just tell me I did a good job and that I'm a good friend ok LMFAOOO

@izuukii

hey Scout know ur away from the platform! Just wanna say kiss and also I give you, since you've called your music taste pretentious LMFAO I don't think it is I think it's GREAT but I thought you might like a small hometown band heh so! I've got

Escapism by Pastime, a group from my old tiny ass hometown. Mad that this is the only song of theirs that I like RIP. It makes me feel nostalgia, and your pieces always do that to me

OH AND PANIC AT THE DISCO'S this. The title is too long 💀 but it gives me "I'm the shit" vibes and. I mean. I would hope you feel like that DAILY. AS YOU SHOULD.

@jozhenji

ANDYYY. Ok. Uuuuh. I... get thine vibes. I think. But I also don't think our music tastes line up AOHDOQJQO I am trying so hard. But a Bernadette Banner fan... might be a Florence + the Macine fan? Maybe? Oh gosh yeah this was hard

I give you Lady Gaga's Hey Girl? Oh this was HARD but this is one of my favs of all time

Or maybe Hozier's Jackboot Jump? Feel like ppl who enjoy sewing just are rebels at heart are we not? LMFAO

@katsupeach

Ah yes...... Emme. HM. I will say dear I'm not quite sure our music taste lines up. I do think yours is superior. LMFAO. So I will... try hard. Try very hard. Yes.

I am ALWAYS listening to Ella Fitzgerald's Someone to Watch Over Me and you're gonna look at me and tell me you DON'T meet a certain pro hero somewhere where this song is playing distantly and they see you and fall so hard they break their heart wide open? Yeah OK bud SURE

Oh and Sabrina Claudio's Problem With You when I heard this song first it put me in a TRANCE aodjoqjdow basically like how your writing does to me so there's that... yeah

May I... submit to you x and x OH and x just for fun which I think... maybe you may enjoy? Perhaps? Mayhapse? Heh

@kenzumekodma

AURELIA QODJOQJDPW ok ok... I do NOT think our music taste lines up idk why I just get that vibe? (THOUGH I DID LISTEN TO FUN'S SLEIGH RIDE ON DEC 1ST AND IT WAS SO GOOD) so I'm... this might be a miss ok and I'm SORRY but also the song makes me think of u ok so pity me fren for my doodoo music taste

Cleo Sol's Why Don't You. I DON'T KNOW WHY!?!?!? U just give me these vibes. I'm... it's so weird LMFAO like... very chill but full of passion? Bro that makes no sense LMFAO just ignore me 💀

@killerdabi

Vey..... hmmm hm hm hm. I get very... chaos bi vibes. And in that way we are very similar HEH so here goes...

Ashnikko's STUPID I mean... if I'm way off apologies my dear but you do CERTAINLY give me "I don't fucking need you... but stick around ur fun" vibes qijdoqjsoqj

BUT BECAUSE WE ARE CHAOS BI. Also Sza's Normal Girl... I COULD BE WRONG AGAIN BUT LIKE. Sad bi hours do tend to happen often to the disaster bi LMFAO.

@melodramaticmatter

Hehehe... Grace.... your music taste is a mystery to me LMFAOOOO so I'm going with songs that just make me think of you... idk ok this is like... might be a miss and I'm sORRY AOEJWIJDIW

Emiliana Torrini's White Rabbit... I just think you're a protagonist LMFAO and this song give me edgy protagonist vibes... everyone hated sucker punch FINE but at least the soundtrack had THIS banger

Oh and also Jolene but specifically Miley Cyrus' cover bc your voice reminds me of hers... do not perceive me....

@mindninjax

The great.... grand Quie. Quirasol. Marquie. Jax. THIS ONE WAS HARD I don't think our music tastes line up exactly but I'm trying SO HARD HERE AODJOQJD

I give you Allen Stone's Brown Eyed Lover... like... yeah. Yeah yeah yeah. One of my all time songs I will love it until the day I die. Your are also brown eyed and everyone loves you. Damn that's crazy hmmm it suits you so well hmmmmm

And Lianne La Havas' Never Get Enough of You. It's acoustic guitar...ish??? Or so you would THINK but then it has a little (a LOT) bit of kick in it that just like... it's raw. It's so raw. God I love it. Feel like ur soft and intense at the same time which REALLY I think fits this song

AND Pepe Aguilar's Me Estoy Acostumbrando a Ti shhh it's pretty and romantic and in spanish shhh

@moonmayhem

JACKS. I'm not gonna lie my good friend. This is gonna be hard. LMFAO. I like... I can just tell your music taste is v nuanced and it is SCARY LMFAO so if this is a miss... apologies I just want you to know I think you're so cool skdjqojdow

Going with... Billie Eilish's When I Was Older AND Pecos Hank's Sinful Refrain... I have no explanation they just both give me very you vibes. They're cool songs and you're cool IDK QOJWIEHIQHW I CAN'T STRESS THIS ENOUGH I THINK YOU'RE FUCKING SICK and I think the songs match ur vibe a lil if I'm wrong... just end me fam just kill me

@omiishii

Ah yes.... Junie.... hm. Idk ur music taste... at all really but you are... so soft. Here are my softest songs. I gib u kith. U r precious.

Peter Collins' Love Like and Love Like You from Steven Universe YES THE TITLES ARE SIMILAR bc the vibes of both are soft and lovely, like you... what can I say 😭

@patchworkpuzzle

QOHDOWHE PATCHY. Oh dear oh me oh my. Ok. Ok ok ok. Gonna be honest from our vibes alone... we have different music taste I THINK and I'm almost gonna guarantee that this is gonna be a miss but no matter! I lob u and will still do my best 😭

@prettyboykatsuki

Nina Simone's Black Is The Color Of My True Love's Hair (hm what Color is Sero's hair again? I forget...) it's a song FULL of love and adoration like u but it's kind of... spooky and magical which I think also suits you fren idk if I am wrong... I will gladly take the guillotine 😔

@petersparkle

Ah yes... my good, sweet, kind Sparkle... our music taste? Could align! Could not! I've no clue my good friend BUT I have prepared for you... songs that give me the most bestie and bubbly of vibes... bc you give me bestie vibes and so HERE WE GO SIWJSISI

Two Door Cinema Club's Something Good Can Work has an intro that kills me every SINGLE time and it makes me feel so giddy and qojdoqjso so do u so this BUT ALSO

Chloe x Halle's Babybird yo this track... one of my EXTREMELY underrated favs and for SOME REASON you remind me of Hawks aodjwiid and so does this track. It's a liiiittle adgy, and I feel like ur also a lil edgy heh

AND FINALLY. I see you with the Shouto pfp. I sense... u may be down for a lil sadness but not too much! Well look no further than madisenxoxo's Baby In Blue it makes me think of Shou... it really does but in a good sad way

Um so um this is. Here. Mali Music's Loved by You. This... it suits ur vibe I think Ari I just think it does like just full of love and care u kno? hope you have a nice day and hope u like the song we are new moots! So this might be off qkejqojiw apologies my good sir... a sweeping bow apology

@scummy-simp

LENNIE QOJDOQJ ok so deadass I was saving you for last and then... forgot 💀 BUT IT'S BC 1) I'M AN IDIOT and 2) bc I feel like we're similar as people which is BAD bc that either means we have the exact same music taste or it's the COMPLETE OPPOSITE (good test of that... do you like country bc I HATE it) SO. I'm going with two that HOPEFULLY you like dear god aodjqjjsjs I hope you like them if not I'm gonna crawl in a cave and be eaten alive by like. fleas idk

The Internet's Hold On and Ari Lennox's Shea Butter Baby they're both... absolute bangers and they make me FERAL AODJOQJA so I hope u like them... bc I think u r... a little feral too LMFAOOO

[nightunderthesilversky]

Cherry wine

I was singing to Cherry Wine as one does and started dissecting and analysing the lyrics in my head, so doing a full-scale of it here. It’s going to be pretty disorganised probably but meh. Should I think of this tumblr like a commonplace diary? But it feels like a performance anyway. My entire life feels like a performance. TW: Domestic, intimate partner violence, romanticisation of domestic violence and imagery. More notes at bottom of post. 

“Her eyes and words are so icy Oh but she burns Like rum on the fire Hot and fast and angry as she can be I walk my days on a wire.”

Her anger is explosive in its sharpness and silence. Walking on a wire or walking on eggshells is used to describe when one fears the other one blowing up over small things; this relationship is governed mostly by one party and is unhealthy. 

Walking on wires cuts deep lines into your soles. 

Why do you keep walking?

“It looks ugly, but it's clean, Oh momma, don't fuss over me.” I find his contrasting use of ugly and clean very interesting because in my head it correlates to how used-to the person is to the abuse. If you walk in a random, non-sensical pattern 100 times, it’ll start making some sense to you. It also makes me wonder about what ‘clean’ actually means, because abusive relationships can often be hot-and-cold (thanks hozier) and just all over the place and not very clear or logical. 

“Oh momma, don’t fuss over me” seems to speak to the isolation in an abusive relationship. Abusers often isolate their victims from their family and friends and support groups and make them feel like they can’t talk to anyone about the relationship because they just wouldn’t get it, and would misunderstand. A gaslight that the abuser is only misunderstood and would be judged and is a poor person and has the victim protecting them.

“The way she tells me I'm hers and she is mine Open hand or closed fist would be fine The blood is rare and sweet as cherry wine.”

There’s a sense of belonging that probably contributes to the romanticisation, despite the boundedness of it, it still feels like solid ground in a way. A fixed cage whose limits you know instead of a moving one. 

“The blood is...sweet as cherry wine” makes me think about the ‘I hurt you only because of how much I love you’ tactic or gaslight. If she’s being passionate, it’s because her love for him inspires passion. “Rare” is also trivialisation of the issue and hurt caused, I think. He’s telling his mother that it’s nothing to be worried about. 

IDK why this songs seems to be sung to a fireplace for me, in winter chill. Loneliness and desolation of a raven kind.

“Calls of guilty thrown at me All while she stains The sheets of some other Thrown at me so powerfully Just like she throws with the arm of her brother.”

Abusers often victimise themselves and accuse their victims of being abusive or unhealthy or ‘bad’ as a tactic. The person feels guilty too. They’re aware it’s not healthy but are romanticising it still perhaps- like being stuck in an alternate world.

They know the abuser isn’t loyal to them. And it isn’t love after all, when they cheat you, but they don’t speak about it much more. I just get the sense that the person is aware of what is happening and distantly, of why it’s wrong but is feeling like they need to suppress it or keep the knowledge far away. Like denial, I guess. 

“But I want it It's a crime That she's not around most of the time.”

Living without something for some time can give you more distance to nitpick only the parts that look lovely or romantic. Time blurs things and can make you miss them even when they don’t deserve it (I miss my childhood best friend more than I loved her at the time). Memory distorts. 

The abuser is a terrorising presence despite her absence. The person is walking their days on a wire even when she’s not around most of the time. 

“The way she shows me I'm hers and she is mine Open hand or closed fist would be fine Blood is rare and sweet as cherry wine.”

“Her fight and fury is fiery Oh but she loves Like sleep to the freezing Sweet and right and merciful I'm all but washed In the tide of her breathing.”

Sleep to the freezing is sweet and right and merciful to the freezing. A loss that makes you detached cuts you off from shivers of pain. Sleep for the freezing is easy to come by, but bad for you. 

“The tide of her breathing” makes up a different picture in my head.  Of flaring nostrils in an angry father and a scared, skittish and anticipating daughter.  This is a frightening image. You can also smell alcohol on people’s breath sometimes, and alcohol abuse and domestic violence are often correlated in media. Cherry wine is bitter red sugar. 

“And it's worth it, it's divine I have this some of the time.”

And what is it like rest of the time? The person seems to be highlighting the passion and romanticising it, and choosing to eclipse and deny the rest. 

I’ve always been confused by people claiming they are ‘God-fearing’ as a good quality. Often, religion makes a sense of reward and punishment based on ‘trust-me’ commandments or laws or guidelines. God and Religion set the rules which no one knows why, but people try to make sense of and figure out.

“Divine” is supposedly superior,and all-knowing, and wonderful to witness. 

Hozier uses a lot of religious imagery in his songs. 

“The way she shows me I'm hers and she is mine Open hand or closed fist would be fine The blood is rare and sweet as cherry wine.”

- Hozier A/N: Please note that I am not trying to romanticise abuse or domestic violence!!! It is harmful, inexcusable and causes a lot of pain. Real love and care do not abuse. If you are in an abusive relationship, I hope you get out soon. It must be so tough for you and I’m proud of you for keeping on trying. It is not your fault and you do not deserve this. I hope you find the help you need.  Adding some links to resources that might help below. Others, there are also a few ways you can get educated and help!! Also, if anyone finds this triggering despite the warnings and insensitive, please DM me, and I’ll try to take it down. I’m doing this as a literary exercise only (and not a very advanced one at that) ___

Women In Distress (Also for male survivors and anyone!)-  CRISIS HOTLINE: 954-761-1133

Please see https://www.thehotline.org/

Indian Helpline for women: 181,  1091/ 1291, (011) 23317004 Indian Helpline for men: 8882-498-498 

UK helpline for LGBTQ+ domestic violence victims/survivors:

Phone 0800 9995428

Email help@galop.org.uk  

And see website. 

LGBT surviors helpline :  617-742-4911 (voice) • 800-832-1901 (Toll-Free) (Don’t need to want to/have to get out of the relationship to seek help)

Collection of helplines: 

https://www.domesticshelters.org/resources/national-global-organizations

https://www.stopitnow.org/ohc-content/crisis-hotlines

___

[officialleotolstoy]

Oh Anatole Brainrot* We’re Really In It Now, aka Anatole playlist annotations!

*I only have brainrot about him in terms of his relationships with Hélène and Dolokhov idc about him on his own 🤢

This playlist is infuriating because it has so many good songs on it and he does NOT deserve to have a playlist that slaps so hard :/

My Type - Saint Motel

“You’re just my type; you’ve got a pulse and you are breathing”

The lyrics are literally just I Will Have Sex With Anything That Breathes which is Anatole’s only personality trait. It just is.

Fool For Love - Lord Huron

“I’m asking her to be my bride, I know there’s another man but he ain’t gonna delay my plans”

This song is about eloping with a girl who already has a boyfriend, it is THE Comet section Anatole song. Which angers me because it’s such a good song, it doesn’t deserve to be associated with him in my head.

The Cult of Dionysus - The Orion Experience

“Wine and women and wonderful vices”

HEDONISM BABEY!!! Also the phrase “wine and women” with “he spends his money on women and wine” in Comet...makes ya think.

Everybody Loves Me - OneRepublic

“Look so good I might die, all I know is everybody loves me”

You know that quote that’s like “[Anatole] cultivated an air of superiority blah blah blah whatever” (paraphrased)? This is that in song form.

Bedroom Hymns - Florence + The Machine

“The wine and the women and the bedroom hymns”

Thottery AND the phrase “wine and women”? Anatolecore.

Talk - Hozier

“I’ll try to talk refined for fear that you find out how I’m imagining you”

I think if he needs to, Anatole can sugarcoat carnal desire with pretty words. It kind of comes down to “I’m pretending to be eloquently and romantically interested in you but I really just want to have s*x with you”. He might not have that much self-control, but the bottom line is that this song is horny and so is he.

Someone New - Hozier

“I wake at the first cringe of morning and my heart’s already sinned”

All my notes say is “commitment issues thot anthem” which is fair. I think it’s physically impossible for him not to fall in love with someone new every week, which is the entire point of this song. Also “you knew who I was with every step that I ran to you” tracks, Anatole doesn’t really try to hide it.

Paradise City - Guns N’ Roses

“Take me down to the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty”

I won’t lie, I’m not sure if this is what the song is actually about but that bit at least has hedonism energy. Also this came up on genius lyrics and it feels like something Anatole would do:

Hallelujah - Panic! At The Disco

“I got caught under the covers with secondhand lovers”

Ok whore. But also the vibes of knowing you’re a sinner and reveling in it feels like Anatole. It’s the complete lack of shame for me.

Why Should I Worry - Billy Joel

“Why should I worry? Why should I care?”

Has he ever actually cared about anything other than his own personal wellbeing? Jury’s still out. This song implies he has street smarts which may not be true but not every lyric is gonna work 😔✌🏻

Only The Good Die Young - Billy Joel

“I’d rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints, the sinners are much more fun”

The entire song is just seducing a devoutly Catholic girl, and it doesnt exactly work but I always assign this in my head to that time he tried to marry Marya B. But just in general, the reckless seduction vibes work.

Mambo No. 5 - Lou Bega

“To me flirting is just like a sport”

Unironically this is such an Anatole song. Listing off all his different lovers and their attributes is absolutely something he’s done. This is just a carefree thot song which is his vibe.

Ex’s and Oh’s - Elle King

“Ex’s and oh’s they haunt me like ghosts”

This is also on the Hélène playlist but this time the ex messing things up is his wife (not that any of that was her fault). I also think the general vibes of “I’m gonna make you want me so much and then leave you” are Anatoleish

Rasputin - Boney M.

“Russia’s greatest love machine”

LOOK ME IN THE EYES AND TELL ME THIS DOESN’T WORK. It’s about the seduction of upper-class Russian women come ON

I’m Born To Run - American Authors

“I’m gonna live my life like I’m gonna die young”

This is almost a more wholesome version of his careless hedonism, more skewed toward seeing the world rather than just having drunken fun but the energy is still there

Don’t Stop Me Now - Queen

“Tonight I’m gonna have myself a real good time”

It’s the “having fun is the only thing that matters” mindset. He doesn’t deserve this song 😔

Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy - Queen

I don’t have a lyric for this one, it’s just like. Yes I am a professional flirter! He is not this into commitment but i imagine he tells a new person this every week.

Oops!...I Did It Again - Britney Spears

“But to lose all my senses, that is just so typically me”

The lack of commitment and not treating relationships seriously is very Anatole, and so is the refusal to take responsibility for the heartbreak you directly caused.

How Bad Can I Be? - The Lorax

“How bad can I be? I’m just doing what comes naturally”

I KNOW I KNOW. HEAR ME OUT. This is pretty much Tolstoy’s “defense” of him verbatim. It’s the idea that he’s just so naturally like this it has never occurred to him to be any other way or to think about other people’s wellbeing. Anatole is the Onceler and Natasha is a straight girl on tumblr circa 2012.

Runaway Baby - Bruno Mars

“When I play, I never stay”

He would never be this self-aware, but otherwise it fits. The whole thing is about an inability to commit and a propensity for causing heartbreak. Also, I’ve had a grudge against this song for years and the blind rage it fills me with is reminiscent of the blind rage Anatole fills me with.

California Girls - The Beach Boys

“I’ve been all around this great big world and I’ve seen all kinds of girls”

This song is like, “What if we objectified every woman ever but made it a bop?” which is massive Anatole energy I think.

Girls, Girls, Girls - Motley Crüe

“I just need a new toy”

Literally the exact same justification as California Girls

It’s Raining Men - The Weather Girls

If I’m gonna add songs about objectifying women, I’m gonna add songs about objectifying men too. Equal opportunity whorery.

Parental Guidance - Judas Priest

“You say I waste my life away but I live it to the full”

This is just him to Vassily. Refusing to be controlled by your parents’ expectations and just going off to have fun is Vassily’s whole gripe with him and also the point of this song.

How To Be A Heartbreaker - MARINA

“You gotta have fun, but baby when you’re done you gotta be the first to run”

The bits about not getting close to anyone because you’re afraid of getting hurt don’t really apply but the “here’s how to make people like you and also we are for sure not staying together this is just for fun” definitely fit.

The STD Song - Top Memes

“Sinning with your naked bod is evil and atrocious”

I uh. I forgot this was on here but I was RIGHT when I added it. This is the lecture Vassily gives him after his Polish wife debacle-

Do It All The Time - I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME

“I’m only doing anything I want to do because I do it all the time”

He literally just does whatever he wants without thinking about the consequences. It’s just got huge entitled kid thot energy which is Anatole’s whole character. And the line “I’m taking your girl and I’m making her mine” is deeply Anatoleish.

Until The Night Turns - Lord Huron

“I got a helluva view for the end of the world, I've got a bottle of booze and a beautiful girl”

This doesn’t fit into any particular situation but I do think if the world was ending and Anatole was drunk with a pretty lady he would have this exact reaction. Also the repetition of the word sunrise (which is what the name Anatole means) is just a fun little extra bit.

Girls - The 1975

“What’s the fun in doing what you’re told?”

Rebellious kid energy! Also “she can’t be what you need if she’s 17” is everyone with morals @ him about Natasha (I know she was 19 at the time shh it’s about the energy).

Pretty Fly (For A White Guy) - The Offspring

“In his own mind he’s the dopest trip”

This man is The Worst but he really thinks he’s all that and a bag of chips huh! Literally everyone can tell he’s not the brightest bulb in the bunch EXCEPT HIM. Smh.

[satuguro]

and then there were three | pt. 2

IN WHICH: feelings between you, zuko, and sokka begin to grow as you spend time together.

PAIRING: zuko x sokka x fem! reader

INSPIRED BY: she — harry styles, someone new — hozier

WARNING: underaged drinking, a mess of feelings, gets heated at the end

pt. 1, pt. 2

NOTES: i apologize for how rushed this is. enjoy! <3

you had all gone your separate ways after the war ended.

there wasn’t much room for rest— they were worldwide heroes, known and loved by most of the population. with toph spreading her knowledge of metalbending, katara and sokka tending to the southern water tribe, aang doing avatar duties and zuko trying to make his nation anew, you all began to see each other less and less.

you had become a well respected general for the fire nation, and have been training future fire nation soldiers to be nothing like the past. you were working alongside zuko to stop the superiority complex that the fire nation had built over 100 years.

you missed them so. you missed toph and her blunt comments, katara and her motherly instincts, aang and his never-ending cheerfulness, appa and his nightly flights, and even momo and his love of peaches. most of all, you missed sokka. sokka, with his words that could easily annoy you and that stupid, smug smirk that made you scoff and roll your eyes. sokka, who hid his worry for you behind sarcastic remarks and faux hatred.

sokka, who you had taking just a small liking to.

regretfully, you had told zuko about your (at the time, you believed it to be old) feelings for sokka during one of your break nights after one too many bottles of alcohol. he said nothing that night— not that the news mattered much to him anyway. zuko felt something stir in him that he knew all too well; jealousy. but for who? he didn’t know.

when did zuko ever know about his own feelings? feelings were complicated in general— especially his own. zuko had no time to feel such romantic emotions for anyone (it was part of the reason why he and mai never truly worked out). but when he saw you and sokka... zuko just felt something.

unknown to him, you were having your own doubts yourself. your time with the new firelord had made you see a whole new side to him that not many others have seen. he spoke to you about his problems and you did the same to him. you leaned on each other when your jobs became too hard, and while he had changed since you were younger, he changed for the better. zuko was working so hard to push his nation forward, and you admired that.

you were busy and so stressed to the point that you forgot that you were young. you had so much ahead of you, yet you held such a big responsibility that you forgot that your own birthday was coming up.

but zuko remembered. he had planned something for weeks without telling you, which was a hard feat in itself. you were his closest confidant, and being a general, you had to confide with him multiple times in the day.

cool air blew in through your window, making you shift in your bed as you tugged your blanket tighter around you. the sound of your door opening made you twist in your bed, the sound of soft footsteps making you crack an eye open. with one swift motion, your balcony doors were thrown open, allowing the sunshine hit you.

you let out a frustrated groan, grabbing one of your pillows and covering your face with it as you felt someone jump onto your bed.

“wake up!” zuko’s voice, oddly giddy despite the early morning, made you let out a longer, louder groan in response. the firelord let out a puff of fire out of annoyance. how could you shove off your 18th birthday so easily? did you just expect zuko, someone who had grown up with you and trained with you, to just forget and allow you to celebrate in peace?

no, zuko cared about you too much to allow that to happen.

“fire boy,” you hissed out, eyes opening ever so slowly as you stared at him. zuko was hovering over you, an excited smile on his face when he saw your eyes meet his. “i’m giving you five seconds to run,” you sneered, making his expression falter for a second.

“but you’ll get up, right?”

you rolled your eyes. “five...”

with that, zuko hurried out of your room, calling over his shoulder, “wear comfortable clothes!”

┈┈ 𑁍༅ཾ༚ ┈┈

zuko’s hands covered your eyes as he led you around the palace. you were both dressed in your comfortable clothes,which was odd for your statuses. normally you both had to lug around the extravagant clothing that came with your jobs.

“you’re gonna kill me, aren’t you,” you deadpanned, feeling his chest rumble as he chuckled. your face heated up at the feeling of him being so close to you; zuko stood behind you as he guided you blindly through swift turns. occasionally, he’d bump into someone and apologize hastily.

“this would be too easy,” you heard zuko hum in response, “i like a challenge, you know.” under his hands, you rolled your eyes, resisting the urge to hit the firelord.

“then why’re you doing this?” zuko made you turn a corner much too quickly, almost making you trip as he made you walk faster. spirits, what was he in such a hurry for?

zuko’s walking came to an abrupt stop, and you could hear shuffling occur around you. “close your eyes,” he ordered, making you shut your eyes tight. slowly, zuko’s hands fell from your face.

“you thought i’d forget your birthday, huh?” zuko asked teasingly, making you grimace. of course he remembered.

“i thought you forgot,” you said, an apologetic smile appearing on your face.

he scoffed in disbelief. “i’m not that mean, y/n,” zuko grumbled, clearing his throat once more.

in front of you, you could hear a quiet ‘well—‘ that was quickly choked down. unknown to you, zuko glared at the ‘present’ in front of him in a silent attempt to make them stop.

“anyway...” zuko’s hands went to your shoulders, “the other presents are kinda busy so they’re coming soon but here’s your first present who’s staying for two weeks!” he rambled, finishing his quick words with a sudden push that sent you falling towards your ‘present.’

your face hit a hard chest as arms suddenly wrapped around you. you opened your eyes and looked up, your gaze meeting familiar ocean blues. “sokka?” you breathed, mouth gaping at the sight of him.

“no, katara,” sokka managed past the stupid smirk that you (loved) hated to see, but you didn’t care. he was here.

his face fell when you suddenly jumped and hugged him fully, your arms wrapping around his neck while his naturally fell at your waist. at first, he froze, heart racing and mind blanking at your hug before he returned the hug. “happy birthday, dumbass,” he mumbled, as he buried his head in your shoulder, hearing you laugh cheerfully before you pulled away.

zuko watched you both interact, and spirits, if he wasn’t confused before, he was certainly confused now. he felt the familiar feeling of jealousy, but once again, he wasn’t sure why he was jealous of. did he want to be you hugging sokka or did he want to be sokka hugging you? or maybe he wanted to be hugging you both.

was there an off switch to this whole ‘feelings’ thing?

“i can’t believe it!” you beamed at them both, your eyes darting between them. you looked at zuko, who stood awkwardly with his brows scrunched together as if he was in thought.

zuko nearly fell backwards at the hug that you gave him, his arms stiffly at his sides as your arms wrapped around his torso. desperately, he looked at sokka for help.

the water tribesman only chuckled at the firelord’s awkwardness, and he made the weird motion of a hug. sokka saw the burning red that appeared on zuko’s face as his arms slowly hugged you back. a proud grin lit up zuko’s face as he looked at sokka once more.

sokka’s heart beat hard in his chest. he was not going to last these two weeks.

┈┈ 𑁍༅ཾ༚ ┈┈

“she’s really happy.”

“you think?” sokka asked, watching as you helped the cooks with their food. they were in the kitchens, and zuko had told them to cook your favorite breakfast. but you being you, you insisted that you’d help them prepare.

so here they were, watching as you practically jumped around the kitchen. it was as if the mood of the kitchen brightened with you around.

“i know,” zuko laughed softly, crossing his arms over his chest.

“you know,” sokka began, hooking his arm over zuko’s shoulders. he was oblivious to the blush that grew on the firebender’s face as he continued to talk. “you’re doing great. you look good! and like... you’re laughing. you never laugh.”

zuko looked at sokka, eyebrow raising at his words. “is that a good thing?”

sokka nodded his head rapidly, sending him a grin. the firelord was looking at him with big amber eyes, and he was ready to melt at the sight. “of course! and you, uh,” he swallowed, “laughing suits you. looks good— makes you look... good,” he stammered, and zuko suddenly avoided his gaze, his face growing redder.

“right,” zuko replied, his tone more stern that he wanted it to be, “and you’re... also good.”

was that a compliment? it didn’t matter; the mere comment brought butterflies to sokka’s stomach. he could hold back the grin he had as he gently leaned on zuko, which made the boy stiffen up and slowly relax at the action.

though he’d never say it out loud, it felt nice having sokka around again.

the night quickly fell over the fire nation, but zuko’s plans of celebration didn’t falter. he and sokka had spoiled you way too much today — you even protested a few times, but they were both too stubborn. they wanted you to have a good time. besides, you all needed the break from your duties.

lanterns were lit up and strung everywhere, illuminating the dark alleyways full of street vendors and performers. you walked alongside zuko and sokka, the three of you speaking animatedly amongst each other. children ran by your legs, cheering happily as they waved around sparklers and chased each other in their own game.

you swore your face hurt from all the smiling you were doing. everything was so beautiful, and you broke up the conversation to grab both of their hands and intertwine their fingers with yours. you began to run quickly, your laughter melodic as you wove the boys through the crowd.

your run came to a slow stop once you all reached town square, your chests heaving as you caught your breath. street vendors were selling food and items on the side while a huge crowd stood around some firebender performers.

“oh my spirits— there’s cactus juice!” sokka let go of your hand to try and run towards the stand, only for zuko to grab his hand again to stop him from leaving.

“nope. no one’s drinking cactus juice.”

“i don’t want you drooling all over the palace. remember last time?” you asked with a smirk, making sokka pause for a second before shaking his head.

“we can get some sake and drink at the palace,” zuko suggested, making you nod excitedly. it had been a while since you experience drunk zuko and drunk sokka.

sokka’s eyes lit up again, his body practically buzzing with excitement as he dragged you and zuko along behind him. “you guys— they have peaches here!”

┈┈ 𑁍༅ཾ༚ ┈┈

it was nearly midnight by the time you all went back to the palace. sokka had dragged you and zuko everywhere and had bought practically everything in his path by the time he was done.

the three of you situated yourselves in the courtyard, laying on the blanket zuko had oh-so-kindly laid out. the stars hung over you all, and alcohol surged through your veins as you giggled at zuko, who was laughing at nothing. his cheeks were flushed red from the sake, and he was telling a silly tale while his hands waved wildly.

oddly enough, sokka was quiet as he sat up and stared at you both. your hair was a mess on the red blanket under you, and little wisps of hair covered your face as you continued to laugh. zuko’s hair was even messier than your’s — gone was the composed and cold front he put up. he was relaxed and smiling like an idiot as you shoved him playfully, his body swaying lightly.

“so, sokka,” you said suddenly, snapping him out of his daze. “do you have a person back home? any hot — or cold — people making you happy?” your tone was teasing and your words were slurred.

“what?” sokka’s voice became two octaves higher. you were both staring at him expectingly, intently waiting for his response. he swallowed — was it getting hot? “no one! no time, y’know?” he set his sights on zuko, who had been staring at sokka with a look he wasn’t familiar with. “how about you, hotshot? anyone?” he asked, quickly changing the subject.

“nope!” zuko lied as he shook his head, his hair moving along with him. the alcohol in his body made him want to blurt out how confusing his feelings had been lately, how he wasn��t sure who he liked.

“it’s so funny,” you laughed, poking the two boys beside you. “i used to like you both! like sokka made my heart beat really fast and zuko made those stupid moths — or is it butterflies? — fly in my stomach. it’s hilarious how we’re here! together! and i like — i mean, liked — you both!” you rambled, “isn’t it hilarious? so funny!” you began to laugh, the drinks in your body making you ignore the consequences that were certainly going to occur after this.

zuko began to laugh along with you, his body falling next to yours. sokka only gaped at you, mouth slightly open.

you liked them? both of them?

“i had the same problem!” sokka blurted, his confidence shooting up and all his worries being thrown out the window. your laughter came to a stop. “like at first you were y/n, but then you became y/n. and then you!” he pointed an accusatory finger at zuko. “you just became... zuko. you know?”

zuko looked at him blankly, shaking his head. “no, i don’t know,” he stated, brows furrowed as his drunken mind tried to piece the pieces together. “feelings are confusing. i thought i liked one of you but maybe— wait!” he suddenly shot up from the blanket, moving his legs to face sokka. “let me kiss you.”

“what? why?” sokka’s voice cracked upon his question. he was panicking; what if his breath smelled bad? what if he was a bad drunk kisser? what if zuko was a bad kisser— that wouldn’t matter, sokka would still like him.

zuko surged forward, lips meeting sokka’s messily. sokka’s eyes fluttered shut as he reciprocated the kiss. it was a mess of bumping noses and teeth clashing, but it was perfect. zuko pulled away from him, lips red before he looked down at you.

you were watching them both with wide innocent eyes.

“yup, definitely something there,” zuko said with an affirmative nod. is he was sober, he knew he would be freaking out. his eyes trailed down to your lips, silently asking you the question. you only nodded slowly before he leaned down and slotted his lips over your’s.

it wasn’t as messy as the kiss he and sokka shared, but you didn’t care. zuko’s fingers gently tilted your chin up as he kissed you sweetly. you could taste the sake he had drank on his lips.

he pulled away, lips swollen red as he looked at you both. zuko finally figured it out; he liked both of you. it was a moment of clarity that made him happier than he’d been in a while.

all your cheeks were burning and the tension heavy in the air as you slowly sat up. you were all too drunk to realize how important this news was; you all liked each other. there was a second of pause before you grabbed sokka’s head and brought his lips to your’s.

sokka kissed you hard, the years of pining evident in his movements as your lips moved against his. you could feel zuko lean forward, pressing kisses down your neck that send chills up and down your spine.

sokka tasted like sake with hints of peaches. he kissed you differently than zuko; he kissed with fervor and was driven by passion. his hand held the side of your face, his thumb gently stroking your skin. zuko’s lips were hot against your skin as he kissed you, and you let out soft moans into sokka’s mouth as you felt the firelord bite down gently.

you disconnected yourself from sokka’s lips, breathing labored. sokka pulled zuko towards him, kissing him almost as passionately as he kissed you.

“bedroom,” you mumbled, and the boys nodded as you stood up, their legs stumbling as they followed you.

┈┈ 𑁍༅ཾ༚ ┈┈

NOTES: again, i’m sorry for how rushed this part is. thank you for reading nontheless!

buy me a coffee here! any likes, reblogs, or donations are appreciated :)

TAGLIST: @beifongsss @the-firebender-girl @astroninaaa @emberislandplayers @aangsupremacy @gogo-is-cooler-than-you @ibelongtotoomanyfandoms​ @riespage

[5uptic]

I agree with anon, I’m pretentious as fuck when it comes to writing (part of why I love 5up so much, we’re both absolute elitist shits when it comes to our passions) and in terms of lyricism, poetry, and just overall good musical and word flow Hozier is superior to any other musical artist I’ve listened to. That said, I think he was saying it about the Do You Wanna Know cover which is also like....so good? There’s a way that Hozier sings that changes the meaning and it’s lovely. It may be that 5up doesn’t look too deeply into the emotion of the music itself, or maybe Hozier’s raw sexual energy is just too much (joking, obv)

the first thing that i want to note is you using the word "lovely" to describe hozier's interpretation LOL using the pink man's words against him, i see! (good.)

personally, 5up's music taste weirds me out because i would be certain that he would always enjoy hozier, who is such a good lyricist and performer and has one of the most gorgeous male voices in contemporary music... and then he doesn't, and hypes up dua lipa instead. is that simply his loving-women agenda? i just can't figure him out LOL. half the times i find myself agreeing with him (like, i listened to "overthinking it" by willow and my GOD that song's great) and then the other half i'm just disappointingly shaking my head. and the 50/50 on hozier landed him on the bad side, sorry not sorry :(

[bathroombreaks]

i was tagged on a couple of get to know me tags by @literaturethebestfriend​ @riosnecktattoo​ @foxmagpie​ @sothischickshe​ @entwinedloop​ and @bourbon-ontherocks​ (ty all, you’re very sweet!!) and i need a distraction but i don’t wanna make 3 different posts, so under the read more are my answers to all of them hahah

name: not luz, surprisingly. that’s a nickname. it’s the spanish/portuguese word for “light” and my friends call me that because i’m the light of their lives, obviously.

gender: cis woman, she/her pronouns

relationship status: single and never ready to mingle

star sign: aries

height: 1.68m which i think translates to 5′5″ but i’m not sure

hogwarts house: hufflepuff!!

favorite animal: cats!! all types!! big cats, domestic cats, whatever cats!! except for that one type who looks like a raw chiken breast, any type of cat is good!!

average hours of sleep: around 7??

current time: a little over 4pm, but by the time i post it’ll be a little later (edit: it’s now almost 5pm)

blankets i sleep with: right now it’s summer, so none, but during winter it’s usually 2 blankets and 1 comforter

cats or dogs: cats!!!! we have dogs and i like them fine but they have way too much energy and saliva. cats are clearly the superior option, they just chill in your general vicinity

dream job: no idea, let’s not talk about it lest i have another existential crisis

when i made by blog: this march i think?? i had a sideblog on a different account with this same url but it was becoming a pain to manage it as a side blog so i made a new account just for it

followers: a little over 400

why i made this tumblr: i wanna talk to people about how beth-and-rio and anne-and-gilbert should smush their faces together

reason for url: beth and rio’s bathroom break(s) are iconic, no one else is doing it like them (and thank god for that, tbh, because sending bodyparts to your significant other ain’t cute)

3 favourite foods: codfish with cream (bacalhau com natas), Alentejo style pork (carne de porco à alentejana) and old clothes (roupa velha), which is different in portugal then it is in latin america, it just has the same name for some reason. even with doing my best with translating the names to english, these are all agressively portuguese dishes and you probably have no idea what i’m talking about, sorry hahah i put what the actual name is in between parentheses in case you wanna google and look at pictures of some of the most delicious food on earth

song stuck in my head: can’t take my eyes off you, the heath ledger version

last thing i googled: "10 things i hate about you song” because i never remember the name!!

dream trip: this summer i was going to go on a 2-week trip to italy with one of my best friends and yeah that’s basically my dream vacation. fingers crossed we can do it before we’re 90 lolol

anything i want: my cat got scared by the vacuum and i think it’s hilarious that after 7 years, he’s still scared, every damn time. what a cutie patootie!! <3

favorite color: purple!!! with blue and pink as runner-ups

last song i listened to: heaven in hiding by halsey

favourite musicians: uhmmm idk?? i’m a pretty big fan of the music made by hozier, beyoncé, billie eillish, halsey and p!atd, but i don’t like calling anyone my favourite musician, i’ve been burned before

favourite song: right now it’s probably you know me too well by nothing but thieves, i can’t stop listening to it, it’s so good!!

last film i watched: mean girls

last show i watched: the good place

favorite original character: i have no idea what this means, sorry

sweet, savoury or spicy: sweet!!!!!

sparkling water/tea/coffee: none of these are good, though lemon tea with lots of honey or sugar is drinkable, unlike sparkling water or coffee

pets: 4 dogs, 2 birds, 1 cat. personally, the cat is my baby, i love him the most and i feel no qualms about admitting it

[wavetapper]

just do all of the music ones except for the Beatles one. i dont care about that list

oh epic style ok :)

1. what song off a otherwise popular album do you think more people need to hear?

idle worship is the best song on after laughter but i think its relatively overlooked :(

2. what band/ artist needs more love?

WOOZE should be the most popular indie rock band in the universe but 2 people listen to them

3. who do you think is/ are the most overrated artist/ band?

hozier :^I  cool epic haha hilarious answer tumlr cringe (in all seriousness i get why people like his music its just not for me)

4. what are your favorite subgenres of music?

Answered!

5. share a little known fact about a band/ artist you love?

tri4th is pronounced as triforce, which was the band’s original name back when they had 3 members.  they changed it to tri4th when they added a 4th member but kept the name when they added a 5th

6. when someone asks you for a music recommendation what bands/ artists do you say?

Answered!

7. how much do you actually like those artists, be honest.

a lot! i only really recommend music that i personally enjoy

8 what is your biggest musical guilty pleasure?

headphone-destroying rhythm game speedcore is actually very epic and cool

9. how do you make your playlists?

depends on what its for. usually i just scroll through my Big Main Playlist and add everything that fits and then search for more after

10. what are the best playlists you’ve made?

superscript and barry the benson’s epic nice funny music deluxe :)

11. what artist have you pretended to listen to to fit in or sound cool?

answered!

12. what was the first artist you remember being pretentious about?

frums probably

13. i know you say you hate modern pop, but do you actually? if so, why?

eh i guess its just not for me. i tend to listen to Weird music so like. by definition pop music isnt really in line with my tastes. some of it is pretty epic though

14 skipped and also answered

15. be honest, do you listen to any female artists? if you do do you feel superior to the other pretentious music kids because of it?

yeah i love to hear a girlboss winning. i feel superior to other pretentious music kids anyway because i have better taste than them

16. how do you feel about artists “selling out”?

its never happened to any of the artists i particularly like so im not sure

17. do you think going to a big venue is worth it to see an artist live?

eh, meh

18. how do you feel about venues with seats?

ive never actually been to a concert but i love sitting down

19. what artist did you know about before they got big?

jack stauber. and im super glad to see that he’s more popular now, i absolutely love his stuff

20. how does it make you feel when an unknown artist you like blows up?

epic they deserve that money and recognition

21 “no one should be judged for their taste in music” do you agree with this statement?

unless its like. very offensive or made by a publicly shitty person then whatever dude music is epic

22. what artist did you try to like because you thought they were “cool”, but just couldn’t get into?

tame impala 😔

23. what artist can you absolutely not stand?

cant think of one off the top of my head :(

24 what artist do you think influenced your style the most?

graham kartna’s epic weird webcore techno shit makes me want to dress like the internet

25. do you watch anthony fantano? if o how much do you let him influence your taste in music?

no but i saw that he didnt like 10 by tricot all that much so i hate him violently how dare you not have the same opinion as me

[geronimo-11]

john & casey for the ship thing? :3

Of course! Thank you so much for asking! :)

PRE-RELATIONSHIP

How did they first meet?

-Casey met John when she went in to work a shift at the Spread Eagle one night. He had been sending offers to buy her family’s house to her mother, who has early onset Alzheimers, and eventually started sending men over when he didn't get a response. He - unintentionally - scared Casey's mother to death and it pissed. Her. Off. So, when Mary-May told her who he was, Casey walked over to him and made sure he knew he and his men were entirely unwelcome at their house.

What was their first impression of each other?

-Casey thought John was a cocky jackass. John thought Casey was attractive, but also bold, stubborn, and even a bit naive.

Did any of their friends or family want them to get together?

-Yes and no. None of Casey's friends in the Resistance wanted them to get together. They knew that the two of them had had some weird fling before everything went to shit, but they all assumed Casey had put it behind her after Joseph's arrest. Jacob was against their relationship from the beginning. He didn’t want John and Casey involved in something that would end up in them both getting hurt. It would piss him off and break Joanna's heart. Joseph was a little too eager for Casey and John to get together. He knew there was something special about this new Deputy, and after his vision about John's death he was absolutely on board with his little brother being with someone who could love him and teach him how to love. Joanna didn't know anything about their relationship until Casey told her after the Reaping had started, and she was too shocked to really have an opinion.

Who felt romantic feelings first?

-John. He felt the first pull of attraction when she yelled at him in the Spread Eagle, and at first he just wanted to sleep with her. It's not until they get to know each other better that he realizes he may be feeling something more.

Did either of them try to resist their feelings?

-Casey does, because she has so many hang-ups about relationships in the first place, but also because of how complicated their relationship becomes after she tries to arrest his brother. She knows he's doing horrible things and that she shouldn't feel the way she does about him, but she also can't help it, either. John wants them to be together from the first instant Casey hints she may like him more than she originally let on, and he's very persistent about it.

If you had told one of them that the other would be their soulmate, what would they think?

-Casey would probably groan and complain about how of course her soulmate would be the greasiest, cockiest bastard to ever set foot in Montana. "He's probably grinning about it right now. Smug son of a bitch." John would probably be more accepting. He would probably be more intrigued at the fact he has a soulmate in the first place than who it is. The Duncan's told him he was too full of sin for God to ever give him something as sacred as a soulmate, so he's certainly not going to let her slip away now.

GENERAL

Who initiated the relationship, and how did it go?

-I would say John, because he initiated all of their flirting, but Casey's the one who finally caves and says "okay yeah let's do this". They weren't public about their relationship, it mainly consisted of Casey spending nights and weekends at John's ranch and the two of them meeting in town by "coincidence" and having lunch or dinner together. Casey knows how quickly gossip in a small town spreads, and if their relationship didn't work out she didn't want there to be too much talk about how or why it ended. For the most part their relationship went pretty well. Casey was impressed with how easily John handled all of her shit, and when he stuck around she found herself opening up to him more and more. They had a bit of a falling out when she decided to leave for training so she could apply to the Sheriff's Department, and when she comes back and sees what Eden's Gate has done to the county, she knows for sure there's no way they can just pick up where they left off.

Did they have an official first date? If so, what was it like?

-They don't technically have an "official" first date. John kind of corners Casey at the Spread Eagle one night -- she's not working, just hanging out -- and buys her dinner and a drink. It's the first night where they both sort of let their guard down and just talk.

What was their first kiss like?

-Intense, a little sloppy, and unexpected. It's during the Testy Festy and there's music playing, and Casey may have had one bourbon too many when she spots John trying to make his way through the mayhem. So she drags him over to dance. It's in the midst of trying to get John to actually dance with her that she realizes how blue his eyes are and hey, ya know what, he's actually really attractive, and she just... goes for it. It's a lot of pent up attraction mixed with alcohol.

Were they each other’s first anything (kiss, relationship, etc.)? 

-I feel like Casey is probably John's first love. I don't think he ever dated when he was in high school, the Duncan's probably strongly discouraged anything that could possibly lead to sin, and after they died he never really wanted a relationship. Just fling after fling to try and fill the void. Casey is the first person he ever takes the time to get to know, and let's get to know him, outside of his brothers.

What’s their height difference? Age difference?

-Casey is about 5'6", John is around 5'10", and there's a six year age gap between them (Casey is 27 and John is 32).

What’s their relationship with each other’s families?

-John never really gets to know Casey's mother that well, and she probably wouldn't remember him if he tried. He has a strained relationship with Joanna. Since Jacob and Joseph have both talked about her a lot, he knows she took care of him and his brothers when they were little, but he was too young to remember any of that. All he knows is that to him, at least, she's a stranger. And she's a stranger who is trying to get too close, too fast.

Casey finds Joseph creepy, and has little desire to get to know him any better than she already does -- no matter what Joanna and John tell her. At first, she has a mutual respect for Jacob. She's not crazy about him and they've never had a conversation long enough for her to form a solid opinion, but he cares about Joanna and that means a lot to her. After she's spent some time going through his trials, though, it's a different story. She hates how smug and superior he sounds, and she'd love nothing better than to punch him in his stupid ginger face. As for Faith, Casey likes her most out of all of John's siblings. Maybe it's the fact they're not really related.

Who takes the lead in social situations?

-John, but Casey doesn't mind. She'd rather not deal with it in the first place, and he's a naturally social person, so it works out.

Who gets jealous easier?

-This would have to be John, again. Like I said, Casey is the first person outside of his brothers that he's willingly let get close. When he sees her with other people he gets scared she'll find someone else and he'll get left behind.

LOVE

Who said “I love you” first?

-John did. It's after Joseph's arrest and Casey goes to his ranch to tell him off, and as he's trying to convince her to stay it just slips out.

What are their primary love languages?

-John: Physical touch, words of affirmation, receiving gifts -Casey: Words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time

How often do they cuddle/engage in PDA?

-They don't cuddle very often because Casey just can't sit still long enough. She also isn't big on physical touch, which is one of John's top three love languages and a source of many arguments discussions. She’s not totally against touch ever, just not all the time. However, if she's had enough to drink or she's just in the mood, Casey has no problem with a little PDA. Especially after everyone finds out they're together, she has a habit of just grabbing John and kissing him wherever they are if she's feeling it. John doesn't complain, but other people do.

What are their favorite things to do together?

-They love to spend time in John's hangar, music playing in the background, Casey working on her bike and John working on his plane. They'll spend hours in there just talking.

Who’s better at comforting the other?

-Neither of them are very good at comforting people, but they both make an effort to be there when they know the other is having a particularly hard day. Casey tends to ramble and stroke John's hair/hug him in order to distract him, and John will sit and listen while Casey vents about whatever is bothering her.

Who’s more protective?

-I'd say they're pretty equal. Neither of them have a problem with acting on their emotions (John is more calculated but still prone to emotional outbursts as we've seen) and if they think the other is in physical danger, or even being disrespected, they're quick to step in.

Do they prefer verbal or physical affection?

-Casey prefers verbal affection while John prefers physical. They try and make sure the other feels wanted and loved regardless, but sometimes it's hard when John wants to cuddle and Casey just wants to talk.

What are some songs that apply to their relationship, in-universe or otherwise?

-I also have a playlist for them as well, so I'll try and stick to my top five songs from their playlist:

No Light, No Light by Florence + the Machine

Bitter Water by The Oh Hellos

It Will Come Back by Hozier

War of Hearts by Ruelle

Take Me to Church by Hozier

What kind of nicknames do they call each other?

-John uses the typical ones "My dear" and "Darling", but Casey doesn't really use nicknames. She might say "babe" or something, but she'll usually just call John by name.

DOMESTIC LIFE

If they get married, who proposes?

-John proposes in the bunker. They didn't have much in the way of rings, but after dinner in their room one night he just got down on one knee and asked her.

What’s the wedding like? Who attends?

-I don't even know if it could be considered a wedding, really. More a celebration with a very, very small ceremony. They have Joseph marry them, and Jacob, Joanna, and Faith are in attendance, but that's it.

How many kids do they have, if any? What are they like?

-They have one daughter named after Casey's mother, Marian "Mari" Seed. She's a bit of a spitfire and a daredevil like her mother, much to John's dismay, but she's more calculated about her actions, like John. Which, honestly, probably makes her stunts more dangerous than Casey's.

Do they have any pets?

-Pre-collapse Casey counted Boomer as hers. Post-collapse she just sort of feeds and takes care of whatever friendly animals come to their house, which drives John up the wall. He's not really a pet person.

Who’s the stricter parent?

-John, but only by a hair. It's mostly because he's trying to keep Mari from getting hurt or killing herself, and Casey's busy cheering on whatever stunt her daughter has come up with from the sideline. Any other time it's usually Casey.

Who kills the bugs in the house?

-Both of them, neither are really bothered by bugs.

How do they celebrate holidays?

-I'm just going to assume the rest of these will be happening post-collapse, so they celebrate as well as they can. Casey tries to scrounge together decorations, because holidays are important to her and John's never really had good experiences with holidays, and now they have Mari to think about. She does her best, with Joanna's help, to make every holiday at least a little fun.

Who’s more likely to convince the other to come back to sleep in the morning?

-John. He's not the type to sleep until noon, but Casey gets up too early in his opinion. Sometimes he just wants to lay in bed for a while and hold his wife, but it takes an awful lot of coaxing to do so.

Who’s the better cook?

-John, again. Not that Casey can't cook, John just happens to be better at it. She's more than willing to let him take the reigns, though.