#which just makes me wish for sanity in this stupid-ass world

[manchasama]

I am...baffled and disappointed.

I was watching a fansub of the first few Onepiece episodes, and was completely thrown off by them translating nakama as "friend". Like, no? That is not right. Just leave it as nakama please it's so much less offputting than Arlong going "Nami is my friend". That absolutely does not work.

Then on a whim I decided to google what fansubbers would still be using nakama, only to find at some point the fandom became absolutely poisonous about not only the term nakama, but leaving japanese in at all.

"It's a deliberate troll of old fansubbers!" "They just didnt' know how to translate it so they left it in." "It means friend/comrade/crew and they should just have used the REAL word!" "They thought leaving Japanese in made them edgy and cool"

Like...y'all realize YOU sound like the assholes here? Then of course there's the people who are like "You should never leave the japanese in the translation!" purists who I just don't understand. Misconception of words aside, because that is their OTHER argument, if you want it purely english, watch the dub maybe.

There ARE untranslatable concepts, and what I remember is fansubbers used to put their heart and soul into trying to convey the concept instead of literal translations. And sometimes, leaving the original term with a translation of subtleties works better. If you are mad at the fandom for assigning it further meaning beyond that (which I never really...picked up on? Nakama has different meaning for everyone, it's not a one-stop "closer than family" term?? Literally never heard anyone say that except for the people complaining that people say that), then I don't think you like fandom at all.

[sanguine-tenshi]

I just finished Inazuma and I have words

TL;DR: Hate the story, mixed on characters, love the design and tired of being treated like a 4-year-old with a learning disability.

SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT

Let’s start with what I like.

Inazuma is absolutely beautiful. I’ll admit Inazuma hits a lot of aesthetic points for me. All the islands are different enough to feel unique but they still look like they are a part of the same land. There are a lot of secrets to discover through just exploring. Each island has a world quest to help it (make it less hostile towards you) so it very much feels like you are saving Inazuma from itself.

.

The puzzles are alright.

I like the cubes that rotate, I always put in the effort to figure them out properly.

Hate the ones that don’t rotate, they just aren’t engaging enough for me, so I just hit them at random and hope for the best.

The glowing floor tiles were fun, once you actually realized what they wanted you to do. A little bit too easy if I’m honest.

The electro compass isn’t really much of a puzzle, more of a fetch the nearest electrograna quest.

Those little pillars that require an electro connection are kinda boring to me, again not much of a puzzle, the hardest part is finding both pillars.

I love the new electro seelie, kinda hard to follow the jittery thing in certain parts but they make a nice contrast to the regular seelies.

.

I’m very much mixed on characters.

Yoimiya is adorable. She is so bright and bubbly. What little game play we had with her was fun and I love her over the top style of fighting. Kinda disappointed she’s another pyro archer but I do admit it fits her character well. It was also wonderful seeing her just settle down and be quiet, just be a part of that moment that obviously meant a lot to her. It’s always nice to see that bubbly, energetic character have that one quiet thing, ya know. Kinda funny it’s fireworks, of all things, for her.

Gorou I like, from what little we’ve seen of him. My man killed a dude with his thighs so I’m down. I do find it kinda ridiculous that a resistance general has his whole damn belly exposed. There is also something about his voice that just does not fit. I cannot for the life of me put my finger on what exactly it is. Could be the tone itself, could be just voice acting. It sort of feels like the VA is trying to sound deeper than he actually does.

Sangonomiya Kokomi, mixed. I like her design, she looks like some sort of mystical priestess. Again something about the voice is jarring. I expected her to sound sort of airy, like she isn’t 100% present, like she’s seeing something we can’t. TBH she reminds me of Luna from HP for some reason. 

Yae Miko, I was interested because of her design. She sounds very arrogant and up her own ass, which would have been fine...if she hadn’t given us that god-awful line. “...I have high hopes for you, child. Don’t disappoint me.” Dear lord I wanted to punt her off the mountain. Or fucking what! Also she’s some bigshot priestess of the Sacred Sakura and yet she can’t do her damn job properly. Why couldn’t her arrogant ass come down from her high perch and cleanse the stupid roots? Why did the traveler have to do that shit?

Baal looks dead inside. Booba sword is overrated, get a life. I want a remach! And no cutscene shenanigans this time!

Kujou Sara seems like one of those ‘honor above all else’ characters. Those are either hit or miss with me. You have my attention for now. Also what are those shoes woman?! I’d rather you wear those leg-killing, needle point stilettoes instead of those Wish gag shoes. How in the name of all that is holy can you run in those?!

Thoma, I like him. At first I thought we were gonna get another Childe incident, but Thoma is too much of a innocent puppy to pull anything that horrible. To me he fits a fox a lot better than Childe does. Childe is a dingo and I stand behind that.

Kamisato Ayaka...hate her. At first I was neutral on her. Nothing about her design really spoke to me, but I was willing to wait and see. But then miHoYo started to violently push her friendship at us. We are totally friends now, this is the first time you see my face, but we are so totally friends now. And during her story quest everyone was like “Ah, you are so good Ayaka. You are so nice Ayaka. You are so perfect Ayaka. We all love you so much Ayaka. And oh, how could a mere merchant like myself...” Ew, go away. This is the first time I’m actively not pulling on a character banner. Normally I pull even if I’m not particularly interested in a character, because you never know how good their gameplay is until you take them out in the map. But I think I’ll be skipping this one. No thanks.

.

And now, the worst part, the story.

We’ve been hearing about the situation in Inazuma for a long time. There has been also a lot of talk about how hard it is to get there. About the wall of thunderclouds that surround the islands. So to have it cut to black and then voila Inazuma, feel just so cheap.

I was expecting something. An animation. A struggle. A quest. A minigame. At least show us the horrible weather! Something! Anything!

Hell if they wanted to be assholes about it they could have made it so that if the player fails at this point the ship is damaged, you return to Liyue and have to wait until tomorrow for the ship to be repaired. No Inazuma for today. That sure as hell would have raised the stakes.

The next complaint I have is with Yurika, the 2 milion mora processing fee girl. Later on Thoma mentions that the agency people see the fees as easy money, so her attitude doesn’t make much sense. After all someone like her would want to extract as much money as she can, but you still want the people to be able to pay that.

So it would make more sense to me if she was overly friendly and asked way too many questions. She’d need to get a much information as she can and after all the previous hostility people would be very open with her. So she’d be able to quickly find out why someone is here, what they are selling and roughly how much money they’d be able to pay. A merchant selling expensive silk would have more many than a regular ore merchant. So she’d be able to extract as much money as she could.

“I know this is a lot of money, especially for something so simple, but there is nothing I can do about it. I’m so very sorry.” And people wouldn’t say anything bad to her because she’s the first friendly face they see in Inazuma.

The stealth mission was just god-awful and I hope we never have to do that nonsense again.

Getting off of Ritou was a bit janky at the end, Chisato should have had a better reason for coming along. But I’m honestly just glad we didn’t get out the usual way...getting stuffed in a crate and smuggled out.

As a side note, I’m getting really tired of characters overexplaining things to me, especially Paimon. Dear lord, not everything has to be said, you can leave me to come to my own conclusions and solutions. Just please, who cares if a few player struggle for a bit, you don’t have to hold my hand through the whole thing.

Ayaka’s three were...ugh. It was basic emotional manipulation. Oh no this guy forgot about the love of his life and he’s been waiting for decades. And oh how sad this guy was so good and he helped these people so much but now he can’t remember. And oh the tragedy this guy forgot his life goal and is now hunted by the demons of the past. Oh the humanity! 

And it did not work. Know why? Because I have no emotional investment in any of these people, in this land. What is happening to the vision bearers in Inazuma is tragic, true, but that doesn’t make me want to overthrow the government. I don’t live here. I just got here. I wanna ask a question or two and then move on. None of this concerns me.

I was so happy when the traveler just flat out refused to start a revolution. And then we had to go and meet some people and immediately I knew this was going to be some oh noes the tragedy moments and then we would agree to help them.

It’s so forced.

Wanna know what would have been better?

Just as we are leaving the Kamisato estate Thoma catches up with us. And he tells us he gets it. We are an outsider and this doesn’t concern us. He was hopeful but he expected the denial. We shouldn’t hold it against Ayaka.

He joins us as a guide because he knows of the people we have to meet.

And so as we help these three we also get to know Thoma. We find out he was an outsider too. He got in just before the worst of it started and then he was stuck in Inazuma. He lost someone to the Vision Hunt. They slowly lost their mind after loosing their vision, their ambition too closely tied to their personality to continue without it (what is happening to Domon hits a little too close to home and he has to walk away, this is where we hear the story of the one he lost). And the same would have happened to him if the Kamisatos hadn't taken him in. He owes them his vision, his sanity and his life.

So this rebellion is personal for him.

At the end of the three wishes the atmosphere is somber. We tell him we understand why Ayaka fights, why he fights. We know that this is all wrong, that it should be stopped...but not by us. We came here to get a lead on our brother. And rebellion isn’t an overnight affaire and we can’t loose so much time in Inazuma.

And yeah, he expected as much. He just asks that we let Ayaka down gently. It’d be a shame if someone as idealistic and hopeful as her lost their spark.

And so we are gentle but firm with Ayaka. She looks like she wants to argue with us but Thoma shakes his head at her. So she sighs and tells us that a promise is a promise. We should come to the Komore Teahouse in a few days and she’ll have a plan for us to meet with the Shogun.

Now we can still have a character story quest with Yoimiya and we can still somehow get involved with helping Master Masakatsu, but it’s through Yoimiya instead of Ayaka.

And instead of a character story quest with Ayaka we have one with Thoma. Hell, give him a whole damn hangout event even.

You can probably guess why I’m pushing the friendship with Thoma so much.

Because. He. Gets. Kidnapped. For. The. 100th. Vision. Ceremony. 

And that would have been the perfect emotional in to get us involved in the rebellion. After all we just saw what happens to people who have their visions taken away and we are not letting that happen to Thoma, someone we just got close to.

So Baal makes it personal for us as well.

.

I have a few more minor complaints.

Aoi is stupid for asking for compensation after she tells us everything we needed to know because, ya know, we could have just walked away. We should have.

The whole stupid misunderstanding about the value Kurosawa’s sword holds. Kinda obvious he meant emotional value instead of monetary.

The suspicious amount of visionless NPCs and by that I mean this is the first time we have NPCs with vision. This wouldn’t have been a problem if we’ve seen NPCs with visions in Mond and Liyue.

The whole rebellion camp bit feels incredibly rushed. We just sort of lollygag over there and then there is a fight (against Sara and her stupid shoes).

Don’t make us fight Baal just to force us to lose. It would have been better if we were forced to retreat, because Thoma was injured, because there are too many soldiers for us to handle on our own. Hell, you can have a funny scene where we straight up jump off a cliff with Thoma clinging onto us and screaming bloody murder until he realizes we are slowly gliding away and he’s not about to plummet to his death.

The Sakura cleansing quest should have been voice acted.

The Mirror Maiden and Pyro Agent are totally on a date, I will not be told otherwise.

[colossal-fallout]

Why do I think about seducing pastor! Erwin in a church AJDJABDSJD my brain really be doing this to me all day long 😭

Girl, you're in for a treat...

Sin 🔥

Fem!body reader X Erwin Smith

Warning: 18+ smut NSFW. Gentle chokes. Oral sex.

Don't read this if you're religious and it'll offend.

Pastor Erwins deep voice rumbles throughout the echoing church hall - the room full of bowed heads and hands pressed together in a quiet prayer.

Yet to you, the only two people in the room were you and Pastor Smith.

The surrounding mutters of hopeful prayers melted away, only his voice the lead of the monotonous quior of the prayer. Your teeth graze your bottom lip, no doubt smudging your deep red lipstick. The colour mirroring your sinful lust as your eyes trail down his chest, his robes pressed neatly against his chest as he continues the prayer, his blue eyes suddenly snapping to yours.

Your heart skips a beat - surely he wasn't smirking at you while the entire room had their head bowed in prayer?

You swallow hard, lips parting and your temperature raising as his orbs ever so painfully tear themselves away from you as the prayer comes to an end; heads returning to there usual position after the "Amen" was uttered around the room.

You wondered if you'd imagined that. After all, you were just a quiet, shy little church girl. Maybe your untouched body was beginning to take control of your sanity? Your hands absentmindedly run down your thighs as you watch him, smiling and bringing the mass to an end.

Maybe he smiled because he noticed you weren't praying?

But how could you? How could you turn your face to your god while these wild, burning desires were smouldering inside of you? The devil truly had his claws in your flesh, trying to drag you into the flames of lust.

And it was working.

You lower your head in shame as the people around you all got their feet, about to leave the church, your daddy placing his hand on your shoulder and guiding you down and out of the lines of pews.

Your stomach drops as you get closer to the exit - pastor Smith wishing his flock well as they left.

You tried to shuffle by unnoticed behind your dad as you go to leave when;

"Ah Mr L/N." His stupid fuckin' sexy smile tears at your libido as he stops your dad for a quick chat. "Thank you for coming, as always"

"I wouldn't miss it for the world, Pastor." Your dad grins.

"I was wondering, if it were okay with you two, of course; if y/n could stay back and help me with the upcoming church event next week? She helped last year and her work was amazing."

Your dad chuckles, beaming with pride, placing his hand on your shoulder. "Well she ain't no little girl no more. She's twenty-three now. It's up to her what she does with her time. But I'm glad she did a mighty fine job."

"Well, y/n? Would you stay and help me for an hour or two?"

You nod.

This was most certainly a test. One you were intent on failing. Gladly.

---

Twenty minutes later, you were sitting at a table in the side room of the main hall; Erwin had sprawled out plans and blueprints for the upcoming annual church event. Your focus was absolutely destroyed when he leaves for a few minutes and returns - having removed his robes and was wearing a skin tight black, long sleeved shirt that hugged his solid muscles so so tightly. It was tucked into his black trousers and his white collar struggled to stay clasped around his large throat and neck.

Your breathing rate increases and the grip on your pen almost snapped the plastic - it was now or never. You had to have this man, to taint one another under the eyes of God in a beautiful sinful, swirling inferno.

"I must confess..." He sighs as he sits opposite you. "I have an ulterior motive asking you to stay behind."

You arch an eyebrow. "Oh?"

"I've noticed you... Have been a lot more distracted during services. Is there something on your mind?"

There sure is.

You feign ignorance and shake your head with a frown. "No, pastor."

Your eyes widen and heart begins to bray against your chest as leans over and places his large hand around yours.

"Are you sure? Because you know... You can tell me anything."

Do it. Do it. Your brain screams at you. For added courage you imagine your friends behind you cheering you on. Which they absolutely would.

"Well Pastor..." You fake a sigh, getting to your feet and slowly circling around the table towards him. "Something has been bothering me. But I'm not sure if you're the person I should talk to about it."

He subconsciously pushes out his chair to greet you, your beautiful form in your black lacy dress slowly stalking towards him, your hem hitched to flash the top of your suspenders. You did it so well it seemed like a genuine accident as you notice his collar bob in a hard swallow.

You sit yourself on his lap, his hands glueing to your waist - clearly nervous.

"You can tell me anything." He croaks.

You place your lips close to his ear, making sure to breathe hot air into it and across his neck. "...But I'm shy, Pastor. I'm just an innocent, untainted, good little church girl. I couldn't possibly... Tell you."

You notice the grip on your waist tighten, and you're sure you heard the slightest ghost of a groan within him, setting your blaze even more higher.

"Well, y/n." He clears his throat. God how he'd thought about fucking you so many times. Your sweet, innocent smile. That body... Your angelic voice; all just begging to be ruined. "Would it help if we went into the confession booth?"

You let out a sensual moan, moving your ass against him. "What a great idea..."

You feel his hardening cock stir awake under your ass, holding in a groan from its sheer size.

You knew he'd be hung.

You couldn't get to your feet quick enough as you lead him into the main hall towards the confession box. Once you'd reached it, you'd noticed he'd removed his collar and had left it behind on the table.

Once inside, you couldn't contain your excitement as you hear him enter the other booth, his throat clearing once again.

"Forgive me, father for I have sinned..." You begin, glaring at the floor with a bite of your lip.

"Tell me all, my child." He mutters.

"I've been having urges. Unholy urges. My body remains untouched yet I crave the poison of a man."

He goes quiet. So you continue.

"I am on fire for this man. Even now, thinking about him devouring me is making me so... Wet."

"Ah~" he's stuck on his words. "Is it one man in particular?"

"Yes. I yearn for him. He's my pastor... Pastor Erwin."

Your eyes clasp closed. Awaiting the wrath of an angry man of God.

You suddenly press yourself back when the door slams open, your vicar towering over you with an expression so snarled he looked like a total stranger. His chest is. heaving - you noticed he had now undone his top two buttons, his tight black trousers stretching and strained with his huge, solid cock.

He grabs your face, eyes flicking up and down between your eyes and mouth. Your lips part, heart hammering.

"You have lipstick on your teeth." He snarls. "Probably from all that sexy lip biting you've been doing. Here. Allow me..."

He groans as his tongue slides into your mouth, hands planting nonnyour ass as you squeak, your legs wrapping around his waist while he pins you to the back of the confession booth; your hands gladly messing up that perfect hair of his as his mouth hungrily makes its way to your neck.

"y/n. Must you tease me so much." He breathes through kisses that are now on your chest after pulling down the front of your dress. "Every week. I can't hold back and longer..."

"Pastor!" You gasp, using his strength to push you up the wall and hooking your legs over his shoulders, the top of your head brushing against the ceiling of the box. He pushes your laced panties aside with his mouth before enclosing his warm cave around your entirety - your mouth falling open and gasping as his immense strength pins you still with such steady ease.

"Ah~!" You cry out, this man finally taking you better than you could have ever imagined as he eats you like it's his last meal. Tasting, lapping, slurping so deliciously with groans and hums.

"Taste. So. Sweet " He sighs into you, making out with your slit like it were your lips. He then focuses his tongue in your clit, your thighs tightening around his head as you yank his hair, calling out god's name within his own house.

His fingertips dig into your flesh above those sexy suspenders beneath your dress, his pace quickening as your insides curl, this huge beast of a man totally devouring you with such lust it would seem like a crime insert normal circumstances.

"Erwin~!" You cry, your yearning for him throwing you into your orgasm rather quickly.

He groans loudly as your juices splash against him, your thighs squeezing and your hands tugging as his hair as you call his name over and over again.

He lowers you when you descend back to earth.

"Good girl..." He moans in your ear, pulling your dress up and over your head, your knees still quaking.

He stands back and marvels at you, standing in only your knickers and suspenders, his tongue rolling over his lip. You notice the damp patch on his chest from your cum before he scoops you up again, moving you both from inside the booth, the two of you frantically kissing deeply as he moves you to his podium, bending you over so you had a view of the pews below that's usually full of people.

Unbuckling his belt, he frees himself; unleashing the long and deliciously thick beast he calls his cock.

You gasp as he loops his belt around your neck, pulling your head up to him where he snarls into your ear.

"We'll burn in hell together, baby."

He shoves his dick inside you with one long and hard thrust, a silent scream escaping you as your eyes roll and he begins to pound you, a long echoing groan with each thrust, your nails digging into the podium.

He keeps the belt loose, not wanting to hurt you but enough to keep you in line as his massive manhood slams against your cervix over and over again, the podium rocking slightly and clanking against the cold stone floor.

"yes, y/n... You take me so well." He praises, kissing your back lovingly.

You can't reply.

Your senses are over taken with ecstasy and your nose is full of the scent of the leather around your neck, his grunts becoming more urgent as he reaches down and circles your clit; your legs so ready to give way. The wet slopping sound of his balls hitting against you echo around the hall.

You both come undone - he with a loud grunt and you with a scream; your sins beautifully washing away as you swirl the heavens together; amidst your intense orgasms, you were sure you saw god himself and he was giving you full permission to enjoy this moment.

Erwins cum spilled out of you onto the floor, even though he was still pounding into you, your tunnels flooded with his large unloading of seed, the delicious smell of his mess overtaking the leather as he slows to a stop, kissing your back and neck desperately, releasing your neck from his belt.

"y/n..." He breathes.

You turn to face him as he supports you in his strong embrace, your tongues swirling once more.

"Same again next week, Pastor?" You breathe.

He nods. "Yes, my child. ...Same again next week."

[voidstilesplease]

telltale

Word count: 1,592... the goal is less than 1k but- | Warning/s: none | Contains: HP Universe, magic, Slytherin!Stiles, Slytherin!Theo. Was going to make this a separate thing, but it's been a while for this tag, so.

---

Having a newly-turned werewolf best friend is taking a toll on Stiles and it's showing - but he's also not about to abandon Scott to his predicament. What kind of a best friend would that make him? So, he spends most of his time now helping Scott through the shift; in remaining semi-conscious even as the moon pulls at his sanity, and in adapting to the enhancements of his senses. Stiles even brews the monthly supply of Wolfsbane potion himself, in the old girl's lavatory in the presence of Moaning Myrtle - the worst tattletale ghost in history. Luckily, Stiles is an expert at bribery. You'd think it was impossible to bribe a girl who's been dead forever, but goes to show how little you know about the world.

Stiles knows what he's committing to is risky, and Salazar Slytherin would have sneered at his display of severe lack of self-preservation if he could, but it wouldn't make a proper Slytherin of him if he turned down a challenge he believes he can win. And he can win this. In fact, he's winning so competently he's perfecting his animagus form without proper training or legal consent - both of which are required for all witches and wizards who wish to become one. It's his way of showing solidarity to his best friend. If his friend transforms into an animal, then he transforms into an animal as well. Albeit, of all animals, he chose a fox, and foxes and wolves tend not to get along. But eh, that's all right. There hasn't been an accident anyway... yet. Also, he has always wanted to do something illegal just to prove that he can get away with it. He always does something illegal, yes, but, like, hosting illicit parties in the Slytherin Common Room has nothing on becoming an unregistered animagus, isn't that right? This thing with Scott is an excellent opportunity to broaden his horizon.

But it doesn't mean it's not without consequences on his social life, physicality (he's still fit, mind you, just lost a few pounds, is all), and most of all, his studies. He knows his chances of usurping the first rank from Lydia is borderline impossible, but he would damn well do everything not to be that far behind her. If he has to settle with second place, he will do so with a hairsbreadth of space between them and nothing more.

But goddamn if he isn't bedraggled, half-unconscious, bloody hungry, and terminally late to his potions class today. None of which would help his academic goal. He'll have to fight tooth and nail to get that 0.5 difference again.

He's lucky it's his Head of House, Professor Laura Hale's class and not Deaton's (who would purse his lips in disapproval, take 5 points from Slytherin, and look at him disappointedly the whole day), Professor Derek Hale's (he would huff and let his eyebrows speak the 10 points he'd take from Slytherin, and make Stiles the dummy for whatever curse they were demonstrating that day), or god forbid, Harris's (he would happily take 50 points from Slytherin without batting his eyelash then and there). Professor Laura would only turn her head away and pretend not to notice Stiles awkwardly sliding onto the seat beside his potions partner.

Merlin, his potions partner. Theo "I know what you've been up to and you better well know I'm gonna use it as leverage when the time comes" Raeken. He can't, for the life of him, guess how Theo knew about the animagus thing when he'd been so careful. Then again, Theo isn't a Slytherin if he doesn't have bags of tricks up his sleeves. Theo has repeatedly hinted that he's aware, and it's another thing that keeps Stiles up at night - well, more than usual. Theo already keeps Stiles up at night without trying. Theo hasn't blabbered yet - Stiles doesn't have to worry about that, at least - because a proper Slytherin would always go the blackmail route. Honestly, Stiles is only waiting for the shoe to drop. It's not like he doesn't have blackmail material of his own against his infuriating housemate. If Theo ever opens his stupid mouth, Stiles will call him out on his hypocrisy. Because apparently, there are two unregistered animagi in Slytherin.

Panting, he enters the room and immediately meets Professor Laura's eyes over the busy heads of his classmates. Wordlessly, she smoothly shifts her gaze away and turns her back to "check" on the progress (or lack thereof) of some Hufflepuff fellow as if she didn't at all notice Stiles by the entryway. Taking the chance (the hint is what it is), he crosses the room towards his partner and exhales loudly in his seat.

Theo is stirring the pot, the concoction quietly bubbling, as he smirks down at Stiles with an all-knowing look. "Long night?"

The git, the absolute bloody bastard. He probably slept the prescribed 8 hours, the prat. Albeit... an attractive one at that. But still the biggest git of all, of course. And, yeah, the most attractive git, loathe as he to admit it. But- Merlin, shut up. Shut up. He needs to bloody sleep and drop unconscious already. Or drown himself in firewhiskey and drop unconscious. For at least 15 hours straight.

Stiles sneers, looking for a clever slight to throw at Theo. He knows he can't insult his potions skills because he's actually decent at it, actually bloody good, the prick. And he can't pick on his appearance because, well, there is literally nothing to pick on about his outside everything, is there? Even that stupid slight graze on his left eyebrow looks fitting on him, like a fashion statement or something, and soon the Slytherin boys would go knicking themselves in their stupid eyebrows to copy him, to be half as echanting as him, to - Merlin. Shut up, for Salazar's sake.

Before Stiles can open his mouth, the onslaught of cedarwood, mint, and chocolate knocks his words back down his throat, and all he's able to do is inhale. Deep. With pleasure. With so much pleasure that it's an internal battle not to drop his eyelids and part his lips for a moan.

For seven years, Stiles has been haunted by it - sleeping so close to the boy who wears the scent that he can't eat a single bar of chocolate without thinking of Theo. It's both a blessing and a curse. Kinda cliche, but kinda true. Absolutely true. Also absolutely a secret.

So, he pulls his face into a sneer once more - as if his brain isn' melting into cedarwood, mint, and chocolate pudding - throwing a glare at his roommate. The long-time bane of his existence, long-time subject of his wanking fantasies (and disgustingly romantic daydreams, but Stiles is not about to address it because then he'll be admitting that shit's getting real), long-time crush. "None of your business," Stiles snaps. He'd like to add "eloquently", but it just isn't.

Theo only chuckles as if he already expected the reply. Or because he is immune to Stiles's attitude after dealing with it for years. Whichever it is, Theo's infuriatingly unaffected. It's so bloody distracting. He's so bloody distracting. Especially to a sleep-deprived Stiles who hasn't had enough rest, meal, or wank for far too long than reasonable.

"Well, make your tardy ass useful then and tell me if the potion smells like it's a flawless brew," he cocks his head sideways, lips slanting to an obnoxious smile, and adds, "Though, I already know it is."

Stiles scoffs (while he inwardly sings praises, because, damn if he isn't hot. Merlin, he needs to jerk off. Twice, in a row. Then drop unconscious. Wake up for dinner and masturbate twice more before bed most preferably). He glances down at the swirling mist coming from the pot and slides his unimpressed gaze back to Theo. "If I can smell anything at all over the entire bottle of cologne you poured on yourself today."

Theo looks taken aback for a moment, five heartbeats if Stiles is not wrong (he isn't) before his face breaks into the biggest, brightest grin Stiles has ever seen him make. Then he laughs heartily, genuinely; his eyes look extraordinarily joyful, and his neck even starts flushing. Stiles would've preened (he totally does inside. He caused that smile, okay?) if he didn't think that he probably did something embarrassing based on the absolute glee in Theo's reaction.

"Well," he drawls, still freakishly happy, like what in Merlin? He's a sight, yeah, bloody gorgeous, but Theo's happiness is usually in tandem with Stiles's distress, you see. It's perfectly rational to be suspicious. Then, Theo pins Stiles with a smug and satisfied look, saying, "I'm glad to know that's what amortentia potion smells like to you."

The statement gives Stiles a pause - more than a pause, he freezes - and he gapes while processing it. It doesn't take more than a few seconds for it to hit him.

Amortentia. Love potion. Today's task is Amortentia - a potion that smells different to each person, depending on what attracts them. And he's just announced that the air around him is basically marinating in Theo's bloody cologne. Salazar bloody Slytherin.

Stiles never imagined ever stooping so low but let it be known that what he does next, he will bring to his grave as his biggest disgrace.

Taking out his wand swift as lightning, he points it to himself for the easy way out. With a murmured spell, he grants his wish and knocks himself unconscious.

His idiocy is future Stiles's problem now. He'll stay bloody asleep for 15 hours straight, thank you very much.

~•~

steo a-z: part 20

[mareebird]

FAVOITE LOKI SCENES TOP TEN

I ran out of room with my first post, so here, for Loki Apprecation Week 2021, are my Top 10 Scenes of the Loki Series. (20 thru 11 HERE)

I warn you again. This is not a list of what I necessarially think were the best written or acted scenes. These are just the moments that hit my hard with OMG THAT and a lot of them are very RANDOM.

There are very few classic moments here. XD

And again, if I miscredit any gif makers, please let me know and I'll set it right...

MY TOP TEN

10. Damn Alligator Bit My Hand Off

When Tom said, about a bazillion times, to expect the unexpected, there's no way I could have expecteed this. And in no way I am joking when I say that the sound he makes is the funniest thing I’ve ever heard or seen in the MCU. In fact, I could even just use a GIF here. I had to post the clip.

--

9. The Kiss, The Ejection

GIF by @buckybarness

This kiss, it was hot. Dig the nose smush. Dig her "oh shit i liked that a lot" eyes afterward. But then Sylvie throws him out of the room to save her cause and her own sanity, and Loki feels like the world’s biggest loser as he sits with the reality of painful rejection and the possibility that he's fucked up the entire universe.

From EpicStream

--

8. Loki’s Existential Meltdown

GIF by @mcu

He's been working so hard to keep above water, but here he starts to crack. And possibly favorite quote in the series: “I got pruned and I woke up here, and now I’m surrounded by Variants of myself, plus an alligator, which I’m heartbroken to report I didn’t even find all that strange!”

--

7. Fight at the Citadel

GIF by @marvelheroes

The fights in this show were hit or miss. I'll admit that. But this one stands out as one of the best in the MCU. It harkens back to one of my other favorite emotionally charged battles, Thor 1’s ending between Thor and Loki. I’m a sucker for sword fights and stage combat and this hit all the right notes for me.

--

6. Turnstile

GIF by @thehumming6ird (I THINK....Let me know!)

With no apologies, I love this incredibly stupid moment. Loki trying to look cool and missing his pocket, and trying to look cooler still and walking right into the turnstile. This was the first moment I watched GIFs of on repeat.

--

5. “You’re So Weird!”

GIF From Tenor (Blah, I couldn't find a better one. Please send me a better one.)

Loki’s in the middle of a life-or-death situation but his focus is on how fucking intense and stubborn this gal is. I think he might already be into her. And, like a confused schoolboy, he tells her she’s weird. XD

--

4. The Nexus Event

-GIF from @marvelheroes

When I first saw this moment, I honestly couldn’t believe it was happening exactly the way I hoped it would. The music started to swell. I could feel their hearts beating my own chest. Look, I think Loki and Sylvie is the best romance we’ve gotten in the MCU. Both of them are players in their own storylines and they’re just so freaking pure and adorable, while still being hot messes. I love it. *chef’s kiss*

--

3. That Face

Gif from @thehumming6ird

Idk if I even need to say anything except that this face he makes here, as he realizes what he’s accomplished, is just freaking beautiful. I wish Loki more faces like this in the future.

--

2. “In My Heart”

This back and forth is so much fun. It sets up so much of what’s going to play out between them, but right now it’s so snarky and angry. And I just love the way he says this particular line. He might as well have said, like a 9 year old, it was up his ass and to the left.

--

And here it is. My favorite scene.

1. Interrogation, Episode 4

Gifs by @thehumming6ird

The interrogation in Episode 1 showed Mobius at the top of his game, where he’s cold and methodical, but this one takes the cake for showing Mobius barely keeping it together. For him, it’s become personal. He’s embarrassed, he thinks he’s been shown up. He’s jealous and petty and hurt.

And Loki, who is impressively stable this time around, attempts to manipulate Mobius right back. Until he thinks Sylvie might be dead. And then he’s barely keeping it together, as well. It’s a really interesting window into how Loki’s processes loss while in public. He’s able to keep it together, but he seems just shy of hitting Mobius the longer it goes on. He’s got that collar on. What if the collar hadn’t been there?

And that face Loki makes when Mobius calls him out on developing feelings for Sylvie, as though he himself is only just realizing it. His eyes.

This scene isn’t only my favorite in the series, but in the entire MCU. It’s so well written. It’s so well acted. This scene belongs in any piece of cinema and I feel that deeply.

[joyfulhopelox]

Coffee puns and wayside milkshakes

Pairing: Seokjin x reader (idol!jin, non-idol!reader, established relationship)

Warnings: some light swearing, really bad puns

Summary: Busy schedules have made it impossible to spend time with your boyfriend but he makes sure to assure you that he is still thinking of you. So even though he has promotions during summer he takes the time to plan an amazing road trip just for the two of you. Even if it is just to the drive thru in the next town over.

Genre: fluff gone into crack or crack gone into fluff

Word count: 3,020

Rating: g

A/N: This is part of the @bangtanwritingbingo event! Chosen square number 1 is 'road trip'. I made it pure fluff which i have to admit i thought i would be completely terrible at, but the more i write the better i get at it (hopefully). I had so much fun writing this! It was also once again meant to be a drabble, but....that is clearly something i have to work on. Enjoy some really bad puns from me!

Copyrights @joyfulhopelox for both the work and the banner

“Tell me again why are we up….” observing the still and dark atmosphere out the window you sighed, “at the ass crack of dawn?”

Normally, you would not question your boyfriend. Even when he would make stupid jokes or do stupid things, which acted contrary to his close-to-30 age. You trusted him completely, you may even say you trusted him with your life. And yet, this morning or night, you were seriously questioning his sanity. Have his schedules gotten to his head? Has the tiredness of constant practice and promotions made him lose it?

“Just you wait, love, i told you it’s a surprise” he shushed you, excitedly jumping out of the warm bed. Not wanting to get up just yet, it was 4am in the morning for God’s sake, you burrowed yourself deeper into the warm sheets whilst commandeering his pillow. “Love, come on get up. The surprise will not work if we are late” Seokjin whined.

“No, 5 more minutes” you grumbled into the pillow. It smelled of him and that comfort was slowly getting you back into the dream world. A dream world where a normal Jin would wake you up at a normal time, and you would get to spend a normal day together, gaming and cooking. But no, reality had to be shattered, instead this Seokjin was tugging at the duvet whilst patting your leg. “Okay, 5 more minutes whilst i go wash up but then you have to get up. We have to be in the car in 30 minutes” he warned, breaking you out of your dreamworld.

Basking in the comfort of the bed until you hear the bathroom door close, you decide that you were awake enough to face the chill of a summer morning. Throwing the blanket off of you, you gave the window a dirty look. As if it was the cause of your distress. It was summer, why was it so dark outside early in the morning? Because you woke up, correction because your lovely boyfriend woke you up at an ungodly hour. “I swear Kim Seokjin….” you mumbled to yourself. Making your way hurriedly to the kitchen, your form still wrapped like a burrito in the blanket you decided you needed caffeine, and fast.

“Love, now is not the time, we can’t be late” jumping at the whiny voice of your boyfriend you turned around, and when recalling this story to his friends, Jin would swear that he physically felt your murderous gaze stabbing him. “Kim Seokjin, if you do not allow me to have at least one cup of coffee before we set out onto this whatever it is” motioning wildly in the air “i swear i will make your life a living hell forever, even after i am dead i will haunt you until you are dead, and even in death i will haunt you” rambling on you failed to notice the amused expression on Jin’s face. God, you were adorable. However, as soon as you had finished your rant and you gazed back at him, for the sake of his life and his family jewels he straightened his pose and nodded at you in an attempt to be serious.

“Of course”

Satisfied you turned back to making your coffee, and some for the road. You knew that as active as Jin was at the moment, once on the road he would harass you for a sip. And if there was one thing you could not stand, it was sharing your coffee.

“Hey Y/N, what do you call a sad cup of coffee?” Oh no, here we go again. “Jiiiiiin” you whined, “it’s too early for this, what do you call it?” despite having complained about his bad dad jokes, you secretly enjoyed it when he made them. The jokes were not amazing most times, but seeing him so happy and hearing his laugh was what made them the best jokes you could have ever heard.

“A depresso” bursting out laughing fully at his own joke made you giggle at him. He was adorable, and he was all yours. Fondly gazing at him you shook your head whilst still giggling. His infectious humour was better at brightening your day than any coffee.

“Very funny baby, now let me finish making this coffee so we can leave. You’re the one in a hurry” you stuck your tongue out at him.

“Ah, yes indeed” he rushed to exit the kitchen. Not before turning around to wink at you and blow you a kiss whilst delivering his last one line puncher. “After all, we don’t want to be latte.” You could still hear his laugh even as he reached the other end of the corridor.

“Silly man”

-

Finally with two coffees in tow, you got yourself strapped into the car and waited for Jin to finish shoving into the back of the car what he presented as “top secret and you are not allowed to peek”. So you did your best to not let curiosity get to you and instead closed your eyes in an attempt to get a few more minutes of sleep. As you were drifting off slowly but surely, all you could hear in the background were the constant complaints of your boyfriend arguing with whatever he was trying to fit into the back of the car. And by the way the car was shaking it felt like he was forcing an elephant in there. You smiled gently to yourself, this is what bliss felt like to you. Not those extra minutes of sleep, not the thought of the planned date- which excited you nonetheless, but the knowledge that today was a day where you could spend some time with Jin and listen to him whine, complain, rant, express his love for you, cuddle you and all that in person.

“You alright there love?” you finally decided to check on his well being after another 10 minutes of grumbling.

“Yes, yes. Just trying….to get this thing to…..fit” heaving he let out a triumphal yell. “Done! Now let’s gogogogogo on this exciting road trip!” enthusiastically he opened the car door and jumped in almost hitting you in the face with his arm and whacking his own knee on the wheel of the car. “Oh my gosh, are you ok, did i hit you?” you stifled a giggle, he did not hit you and yet even though he clearly was in pain he made sure to check on you first.

“Jin, i’m fine babe, but clearly you aren’t. Please be more careful” you chided gently reaching over to rub the sore spot on his shin. With a gentle smile he grabbed your hand in his warm one. Despite the chilly air of the morning, he was warm and inviting, his hand on yours instantly heating up your cold ones. “I’m sorry love, I promise i will be” he reached out to cup your cheek with his free hand rubbing your skin and with care as if you were made out of porcelain he brought his soft plump lips to yours in a brief kiss that left you breathless.

“Hey, Y/N?” his lips a breath away from you that made you swear you still felt them on yours, was that wishful thinking? Maybe. “I love you” your eyes skimmed over his features lost in a world of your own and with a suddenly mischievous grin you pulled back from him fastening your seatbelt.

“I love you too, you mocha me very happy”

With an incredulous scoff, Jin fastened his own seatbelt and put the car into drive. “Careful love, you will become worse than me” he warned amusedly, the pride in his voice unmasked. He did love it when you would one up him on his jokes. Sometimes you would make a competition out of it, an unannounced one so that neither of you could have pre prepared comebacks and see who won. Most times you lost miserably, and the times you won you were absolutely certain that Jin went easy on you. He was the fountain of knowledge when it came to puns.

“But Jin, i am worse than you” giggling like idiots, you turned your gaze to the window prepared for the trip ahead. You had no idea where you were going but as long as you were with Seokjin, you would be absolutely fine.

------------

“I swear to god Kim Seokjin, you plan a trip in the middle of the night to somewhere, lord knows where, and you don’t even think to consider checking the gas tank????”

As the car slowly sputtered and came to a stop at the end of the road you turned to look at your desperate boyfriend. “Oh nononnononono, this can’t be happening. I was meant to stop at a station as soon as we exited the city” trying to get the car to start again you bit your lip. Maybe it was the fact that you had placed your trust fully in him, or the fact that he was so sure of this trip, or the fact that he had bragged about this trip for a while now but this end you had not foreseen, and so it made it incredibly amusing for you. 30 minutes outside of your own city and the car had run out of fuel. If it weren’t for Jin’s distressed pleas for the car to start up and for you to forgive him for ruining this trip you would have burst out laughing a while back.

Deciding to end his misery you grabbed for his hand, now clammy from stress. “Babe, it’s ok. Let's just get out of the car and try to call someone to check the car out. We ran out of gas, it happens” rubbing your finger over the back of his hand in an attempt to call him you used your other hand to try to look for your phone.

Only to remember that in your hurry you had left without it. Groaning, you did not want to panic Jin more than he was so you did not mention your own phones. Knowing him, he’s forgotten his at home on purpose. On days when he had plans with you, he would make it a point to not spend time on his phone. Thanking your lucky stars you at least had your cards with you and some cash.

“I’m really really really sorry love” Jin gave you a pleading look. Shaking your head you sighed and opened your door. “Come on lover boy, let's get this situation fixed”

A couple of steps into the trek you finally hear the car being locked and the sound of pounding footsteps behind you. You walked in silence for 15 minutes, neither of you knowing what to say. You were decently tired and hungry but more worried about Jin’s state of mind. On the other hand your boyfriend was berating himself for ruining a perfectly planned day and probably making you upset for doing so. Finding the service phone by the side of the road you quickly phoned for someone to come and fix the situation and they informed you it may take a couple of hours to get to you. But it was better than nothing. You would probably miss entirely what Jin’s planned for you but you could always make the most of what you currently had. Now, on the way back to the car you finally sneaked a glance at your own boyfriend.

Catching his own worried gaze you looked away. You were in the middle of almost nowhere, stuck, without a car or food, it was still extremely early, and yet all you could think of was how handsome Jin looked. In the soft morning glow reflected on his skin and his messy hair stuffed under his cap, you realised how lucky you were. Misinterpreting your long stare he bit his lip, “Are you angry?” You did not want to respond to him, not yet at least. If you did you would either burst out in giggles or you would end up trying to comfort him, and you had no time to spare at the moment. Was it mean? Probably but you swore to yourself you would make it up to him. “Love” he kept insisting, “Y/N, are you angry?” Only when you heard the sadness creep into his usual tone of voice did you stop and look at him.

You opened your mouth to reply to him, but he would not allow you to speak yet. Afraid that you would start telling him how awful of a boyfriend he is, gone for long periods of time and when he is finally home he clearly cannot do anything proper, he starts stumbling over his words trying to explain himself to you. “Love, i’m so so so sorry. I did not mean for this to happen. I had the whole thing planned, i was going to take us to the seaside today so we can watch the sunrise and sunset on the beach like you have always wanted, and we were going to enjoy a picnic and a nice dip in the ocean and i was going to take you to the fair at night time so we can ride the ferris wheel and have a romantic kiss at the top and…”

As adorable as you found a rambling Jin, his red cheeks, his lips which were now extremely swollen from how much he bit them, you could not let him torture himself much longer. You were worried he may end up having a self induced anxiety attack. And you definitely were not angry as he seemed to think you would be.

“Love” you tried once, but in his distress he had stopped listening to you. “Jin” and again, finally having had enough you took three strides towards him and placed your hand over his mouth in a gentle attempt to get him to stop talking.

“It is ok. I am not angry. Not by a long shot. I don’t care about sunrises, I don't care about sunsets, I don't care about ferris wheel rides, I don't care about picnics. Seeing the hurt in his eyes you immediately added, “ I don't care about all these things if they don’t happen with you. Plans get ruined, that is why they are plans. We could have spent the whole day in our pjs and had a coffee pun competition whilst playing games and i would have not minded. We could have spent the whole day just literally doing nothing but staying in bed and I would have not minded. The thought of you even just planning to put all this together even when you are so busy is more than enough for me. Please stop apologising about this. I am not mad at all”

Jin reached out delicately and lowered your hand away from his mouth. “But it’s because I've been so busy that I have fucked up immensely. I wanted to do something nice for you to show you how much I care about you. Being away all the time is hard especially when all i want to do is have you there with me all the time but knowing that i can’t.” A strand of your hair had been blown into your face by the wind and he took his time to fix it for you, his hand dropping down onto the hollow of your neck.

“Babe, i would want nothing more than to be able to be with you all the time, but unfortunately we can’t. And you would get sick of me anyways” you laughed gently. Jin was about to protest but you continued. “ You show me everyday how much you care about me, no matter how busy you are you always take your time to talk even if briefly. You always send me cute pictures and pictures of food, which make me really jealous by the way” Jin laughed, his eyes crinkling.

“And when we do actually get to spend time together we have the best of times no matter what we do. Not because we are doing something out of the ordinary but because we are spending time together. If i’m with you i don’t care what we are doing, it’s the best time of my life” You slowly rose on your toes to press your lips to his. Seeing it as an opportunity Jin tightly wrapped your arms around your waist and lifted you up, forcing you to wrap your legs around his waist with a squeal. A kiss that was meant to last a few seconds ended up with you propped against the side of the car wrapped around Jin’s sturdy frame.

“I love you” he whispered once he settled you back on his feet. “So so so much”

Prepared to answer with a confession of your own, you felt your stomach grumble. The moment now interrupted, both of you started cackling. “I love you too babe,” patting his chest, “but you know what I would love more? Some food.”

“We have a bit more to wait until we get this situation fixed” As if a lightbulb had been turned on Jin jerked away from you. “Wait here” running around to the back of the car he opened it and pulled out a cooler and two tumblrs. Ignoring your inquisitive looks he opened the cooler and got out some vanilla ice cream. Reaching out into the boot again he pulled out a pack of fresh strawberries. Laughing you finally understood.

“Milkshakes?” He held both items in his hands proudly.

When you had told him you would give anything in exchange for spending time with him you meant it. Whether the road trip would have been a success in the end, or you just called it a day after you got your car sorted. But just sitting there on the wayside by the car enjoying your makeshift milkshakes and each other’s company was complete perfection to you and you would not have it any other way.

[yanderecandystore]

may i please get a small fic about the loveshrooms?

I didn't expect anyone to like the idea, but I'm so glad you did!

I was going to bring a Yan Bakugou into the mix but- I felt like I could end up disappointing you in a way so I'll just leave it as a ambiguous character, what do you think?

Also, love shrooms is actually a really good name lol!

TW/Tags: loss of sanity and mentions of depressive thoughts // fungal contamination and mentions of diseases (and quarantine) // none gender specific (neither the reader or the character mentioned have their gender assigned) // touch starving // victim blaming mentality.

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

In need of help [Yandere!Virus/Fungus x Reader - Short Fanfiction]:

They were laying in their bed, wondering what the hell was happening with their body. It's been a week since they started to feel this way, endless headaches, hot burning skin temperature yet a feeling of always being cold dominated them, as if they were naked in the middle of a blizzard.

One day they started feeling dizzy while they were at work, so their boss has told them to go back home and rest, and they haven't gone back to their jobs in a full week because of some random sickness they got!

That's what they thought back then, they thought that this was all just a little flu that had ruined their days, but no, it turned out to be something completely more different than that.

They have heard about some sort of disease outbreak happening in their town, something that was still fairly new and mysterious to even the highest of doctors and world leaders. It was so sudden, out of nowhere people started to show symptoms of some sort of new illness, something that develops slowly yet quietly.

The contaminated would feel all that they were feeling right now, if not worse, since a lot of contaminated have shown some weird aggressive behavior randomly. Those that were contaminated were told to limit their contact with other people, some were privileged enough to be able to stay in hospitals receiving professional care, but they couldn't do that, they didn't want to believe that they were contaminated by some stupid looking fungus.

They just… Really, really didn't want to see a doctor, even if the symptoms are getting worse and worse, something forced them to keep their mouth shut. They didn't want to go to a hospital, they didn't want any doctors or scientists experimenting on them, they didn't want to be trapped inside that pearly white hell.

They heard rumours about servers experiments being done inside each hospital available, which caused the contaminated to get even more desperate to get out of there.

The thing is, no one knows if the contaminated were the ones who had decided that they didn't want to stay there, or if something else was dictating that decision.

Apparently, the cause of such distress was a little mushroom species that have only been discovered after the first incident happened. An incident where the first contaminated to fully develop the parasite had attacked someone in the streets (well, allegedly attacked, since there is no proof of the guy actually hurting someone, but it doesn't matter now since he was eliminated before he could attack someone). After that the contamination had spread wildly, it was as if the existence of such a dangerous thing had just been announced and out of nowhere, the damn thing had taken a hold of people's lives.

In one second everything was fine, and then in the next they were stuck at home, feeling hopeless. At least they don't have to be the lab rat of some crazy doctor and scientist. Until now, it has been pretty easy to hide the fact they were contaminated, key words being "until now", guess what happened?

"- Fucking- itchy fungus." They yelled as they continued to scratch their itchy arms, there were visible pink and red blotches around them, and on top of that they were now hurting because of how much force they were using on their itchy arms.

They have learned that it takes too many weeks for it to develop marks around the contaminated bodies, and that the mushrooms spread and thrive in cold habitats.

And guess who was the idiot that has come back from hiking in a snowy forest about two weeks ago? Yeah that 's right! This imbecile right here!

"- Ugh, what the hell do you want from me?" It's been three days since they started talking with the fungus growing inside them, since they noticed that indeed, the fucking thing comprehends human communication somehow.

Or maybe they were just insane.

This was basically an everyday routine, the mushroom would get agitated, they would ask it what it wanted, and in a brilliant moment of concentration they would remember exactly what the mushroom wanted.

"- Pizza again? Come on, you're going to make me spend all of my savings on some lackluster pizza?" They said while looking at their colorful arms, they needed to cover them if they wanted to see anyone else soon.

You see, ever since they started to stay inside their house to not spread the contamination, they have been ordering pizza at a very terrible place that sold only the most boring pizza they could have ever eaten. No flavor at a cheap prize!

It seemed like the stupid fungus had taken a liking to the terrible taste of nothingness, so they had decided to obliged with the fungus wishes.

"- Stupid parasite, you're lucky I can't beat you for making me waste so much in daily deliveries." They continued to be grumpy about it as they put some clothes on, normally they love to spend their time alone naked, and apparently the fungus also agreed with the decision. What? It's their apartment, they can be naked if they want.

They took their phone and typed the number to the pizzeria, well, at least they never take too long to deliver their mediocre pizza.

"- Hi, it's Anthony's Pizzeria, how can I help you?" They heard a familiar voice come from the other side of the call.

Oh.

"- What-!" They yelped, almost causing the call to accidentally end right there and then.

It's you, it's your voice! They know it it's, they are sure of it!

"- … Uhn, hey, are you okay-"

"- I'm f-fine, sorry!" They have interrupted your question, they were so caught up about your voice that they forgot to order the pizza.

Oh but your voice! Your voice was so different in the call than in real life, it's so… Interesting! Yeah, that's surely the word they were looking for!

They have called so many times yet this was the first time you were the one to pick up! They guess that because of the contamination and quarantine stuff going on, they were low on staff and you were the one receiving the orders.

After all, you were the only person that worked there that would deliver their pizza every single time. It became such a normal thing that you two even know each other's names!

[Y/N], it's such a beautiful name, it fits the owner. Although they think you're pretty unlucky to have to work at a terrible place and also do deliveries to an unwelcoming neighborhood.

That's the reason why you're the one to always bring their pizza, it's because you're the only worker that they are willing to risk in such a terrible place. Fortunately, their only client around this area is them.

When they were about to finish their order, they asked if you were the one that was going to bring the pizza.

"- Yeah, it is me. You know, low on staff and all, why do you ask?" You ask them with that welcoming voice of yours. A hint of happiness graced your tone, you were happy that it was them ordering again.

Although you still think that their obsession with mediocre pizza is a little concerning, you ended up forming some sort of friendship with them. An odd one for sure, but you're still happy about it.

When you first met them, they would always give you some really scary vibes. They were so, well, cold and closed off. Never smiling, never giving tips, always in a terrible mood, etc.

But recently, they started to treat you with so much respect, even joking about your job with you. The first time you saw them smile, you thought you were seeing a completely different person.

You're still glad you found this new version of them. They look happier and you felt good for them. Maybe they have found their own happiness.

To hear your confirmation was the most exciting thing they could have heard all day! They were sulking in this disgusting room all day, yet hearing that you're coming makes them feel alive!

They can't even hide their excitement, you can hear them being happy and giggly over the idea of you coming over. Even if technically you're only coming there to deliver them their order and all.

When the call ends, they soon are brought back to reality. When they were talking to you, they felt like they were in the best place on Earth, yet when they looked around their apartment they could only observe the clues of a disgusting creature living in this dirty ass place without ever cleaning it, not even once.

It's a depressing sight, yet they have learned to deal with it. It was normal for them to be lazy and an absolute pig, although they are aware that even pigs are a lot cleaner than them.

They should at least take a shower before you come in.

And just as the idea of you being anywhere near them came into their mind, their personality had switched again, from a grumpy depressed loser to… to…

To whatever the hell they are right now!

Seriously, they were feeling like shit all day, yet at the moment the opportunity to see you comes up, they feel like their day it's already 100 times better!

They feel their heart pounding at an incredible passing, the water of the shower hitting their skin helping their temperature to cook down. They don't even feel so cold anymore, they feel- Powerful!

They feel better than the last time they saw you, which was yesterday, so it doesn't even make sense for them to miss your presence the way that they do, but still!

Apparently even the fungus seemed to be happier about this situation, as their arms weren't itchy at all and the headache they were feeling seemed to have stopped.

They thought the thing was only awaiting its meal, as all living creatures do when faced with the opportunity to get food without any efforts put into it.

It was as if the motive to actually fix a little bit of this place had suddenly appeared at the mention of your arrival! It was uncommon for them to do such a thing, even for a guest, and their neighbors can testify.

Not that they would want to be involved in their life either way, their neighbors know how unpleasant they can be, even to those that live near them.

To think your presence has such an impact on them and their life, even though they never experienced anything like this before, their sudden change in mood never really crossed their minds as being bad or unconventional. It just… Happens.

And- It doesn't feel bad at all.

Maybe this lonely loser is finally understanding the importance of healthy social interactions! Good for them?!

After getting out of the shower and putting their clothes back on, they straight up jump out of the bathroom to complete their next task, which was making their apartment seem a little more *pleasant", at least for someone that was looking at it from the other side of their door.

But before they could do much, their apartment bell rang and you called them from the other side of the door. You did something, however, that would soon be proven to be a bad decision.

You have decided to call them by their name instead of the usual "your pizza is here" or whatever the hell you used to scream so the customers could hear. You thought that you had spent enough time with them to be able to use their name in a friendly manner, which was nothing wrong with that, dearest! Is just that-

They haven't been able to hear people say their name in such a friendly way in a long, long time. It's both refreshing and terrifying how they craved that form of attention.

And what is just as terrifying is how fast they throw their body towards the door, like a desperate addicted trying to reach their dose of dopamine. But that comparison it's absurd, right? It has nothing to do with the current situation.

Oh no, wait-

"- [Y-Y/N]!? You came in e-earlier than I thought! How is everything going??" They would welcome you in, but the truth is that they haven't been able to finish all of the cleaning. Basically, they took all of the garbage that was in front of the door's view and put it deeper in their apartment.

Just like sweeping dirt under the rug, you were only able to see a moderately good looking apartment behind them, yet in reality, all of the dirty dishes and clothes that were previously laying around there, were now shoved under some tables in a desperate need to impress you.

Even if a little bit.

Because of how suddenly they opened the door and came into view, you got yourself a little spooked by the taller figure in front of you. They always looked pretty scary in your eyes, yet recently you started to notice that they have a softer side.

You can't help but associate them with big scary dogs, you guess that they only put some sort of facade to keep themselves appearing to be tough and strong and "scary". You can't lie that they got you pretty good the first time you met.

You answer them, telling how hard it has been to work in an awful pizzeria while the world is burning and a weird disease suddenly has been discovered out of nowhere. They tried their best to continue the small talk, yet it seemed like they didn't need to do much because soon enough you were babbling about your life.

They loved it, you were always so talkative, even to a complete stranger. They wanted to pay close attention to you and what you were saying yet they simply couldn't! Your presence was so overbearingly sweet that they thought they would have a heart attack!

I'm being serious though, their heart started to accelerate out of nowhere and a weird feeling started to arise inside their hearts. They felt so weird and uncomfortable because of the sudden sensations yet- It felt so good in a way.

They felt alive for once, they felt- They felt like they were capable of anything!

Yet they still felt like they needed something more than just… This, whatever the hell is giving them such a wonderful feeling. Could it really be you, the cause of such wonderful emotions to bloom?

Your skin looked so soft, your smile was so gentle even when you were focused on giving them their order, you looked like you cared for them so much that when you noticed their odd behavior you put your hand in their shoulder.

This one, simple little contact managed to get a hold of them and their thoughts, their breathing now way faster and frantic than before.

How long have they been without a human touch? They are pretty sure it wasn't long, yet they still feel… Shamefully needy.

They can't tell what's worse, trying to convince you that they were okay, or trying to convince themselves to not do something stupid. They didn't know what it was, but there was a suspicious feeling crawling up their spine, the feeling that if they didn't control themselves something bad could happen.

They lied of course, saying they were just- Dizzy and a little tired, that they were doing everything on auto pilot, and even if you end up believing them, the moment you take your hand away us the moment they regret not giving in to whatever odd urge they were having a couple of seconds ago.

You were soon about to leave, they didn't even notice that they were holding the pizza box and almost let it fall from their loose grip.

"- H-Hey, wait! [Y/N] I-" they sounded absolutely pathetic, they sounded desperate for your attention but at least it seemed like you didn't mind or simply didn't notice their tone of voice.

You were causing so much frustration yet you remained oblivious to their suffering.

"- Do you… Perhaps, want to hangout later? I-If you're not busy, of course…." They sounded like a teenager who just confessed their crush on someone, well, if they were trying in that situation, normally the other person would at least be aware of their feelings.

But no, of course they aren't and of course you only see their offer as a way to call you for a friendly date.

People sweet and naive like you used to get on their nerves, they used to ignore your type of person yet-

Here they are! Being pathetic and stuttering, the only good thing to come out of this interaction was that you accepted their offer.

At least you're kind enough to accept to meet this poor thing again in a more private scenario. Not in your daily "customer and worker" type of interaction.

And as your form goes away at each step you take, the intrusive thoughts start to come in again. Those thoughts, those pains from earlier, everything was starting to get back.

It really does seem like you're the cause for their problems. Their headaches, their low self-esteem thoughts, the stupid fungus itching their skin, all of that was your fault… Somehow.

In someway or another you were the one that would always show up in their dreams, in their intrusive thoughts. They closed the door to their apartment while slowly placing the pizza on their coffee table, since now their mind was starting to come up with the solution to their daily pains.

This is not about pizza, this is about you! About how you consume their mind, even when you aren't present.

Although, every time you're near them, they feel so much better, like all of their issues have gone away.

That 's it! You're not only the source of their problems, but also the solution! Oh, that 's perfect! They know exactly what they need to do to make sure you cure them.

Yeah… YEAH! YES! They won't need to suffer every day waiting for the next time to see you, they can simply have you by their side, right??!

Please, please tell them, please tell this mad person that you'll cure them of the same thing you contaminated them with!!

Please… They feel so, so cold and lonely. Their only company is a parasite who seems to agree with this person's mad, delusional thoughts.

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

[imaginedcreaderinsert]

Jason’s Room — Jason Todd x Reader (+ Dick Grayson)

SUMMARY: “Yeah?”You hear music; it’s loud, deafening probably, but you don’t have to worry about waking up your partner.Dick is out patrolling, and the bed is now cold. You try and warm yourself up in the duvet. Still doesn’t help, but there’s a rush that slowly burning up your body.No one talks, but you’ve seen the caller ID; enough to make you worry after checking the time, see if it was an emergency. But Jason seems to be frozen.“Jay, I saw it was you. Everything alright?”

WORD COUNT: 2140.

TW: Angsty, toxic relationship implied. Some cheating can be read, but is not acted on. Jason Todd is not portrayed as a good person on this one.

A/N: I have no excuse for writing this, other than really wanting to, which I think it’s a good step, seeing as I’ve abandoned writing for my own pleasure completely. So yeah, just have this.

LYRICS COMPLETELY TAKEN FROM “Marvin’s Room”, by Drake.

Bitches in my old phone

I should call one and go home

I've been in this club too long

 He’s really so fucking drunk. He shouldn’t be allowed to go out on nights like that, but he still does.

(Maybe clinging to the idea that someone will call him up and say “hey, don’t go, I know you’re bad, let’s talk?”.

 He’s stupid, really stupid. Stupid enough to-)

 No, he’s already drinking up another shot, from that lined up column of alcohol in front of him. Jason’s pretty sure he’s at a new club, but he can’t say for sure: nothing is familiar and yet everything echoes in him for a reason: faces, blurred-out expressions of joy and a world going too fast around him; music beating too hard in his chest, making his heart almost leap out of it; laughter that he’s not sure that’s coming out of him really, even as he feels his smile growing, a charismatic and cocky attitude coming out of him.

He could have anyone he wanted; Jason knows he doesn’t have the suave attitude of the family, and yet “the bad boy” always attracts a certain crowd of girls he feels like he could go in for that night.

Jason knows he could, but doesn’t. His hand moves up and down this gorgeous girl at her side, a bronzed goddess, but his eyes move to check up his phone: no new messages or calls.

It’s obsessive really. It must have been the third time he’s done that since his last shot, but… It’s infuriating to know he’s not needed.

 (He is; there’s always that stupid booty call, the fucking vigilante stuff he feels less and less like going in for – it now means something different, something that wrecks him up inside – or the casual reaching out he’s not really interested in deepening.

Just not by that one person he hasn’t heard anything from in the last weeks.

And you said you’d call by now (“in a week or so”), and yet--)

  The woman that I would try

Is happy with a good guy

But I've been drinkin' so much

That I'ma call her anyway, and say

 “Yeah?”

You hear music; it’s loud, deafening probably, but you don’t have to worry about waking up your partner.

Dick is out patrolling, and the bed is now cold. You try and warm yourself up in the duvet. Still doesn’t help, but there’s a rush that slowly burning up your body.

No one talks, but you’ve seen the caller ID; enough to make you worry after checking the time,  see if it was an emergency... But Jason seems to be frozen.

“Jay, I saw it was you. Everything alright?”

“Fuck, I-Fuck, no, I’m-Agh, I’ave to get out of ‘ere… Excuse YOU!” He drags out the vocals; tone is sleazy, lazy, and you would recognize that anyone, of course.

“Are you drunk? Jason?”

You feel incredibly naked, even with your thick pajamas out; you’ve lived this out too many times, and you can almost see him climb your bed.

It’s been a long time since he’s done that, but it’s something you will always remember: the creaking of the wood, springs of the bed, rustling of sheets as he tossed sheets here and there all night.

(The stupid “I love you’s”, the lazy and very drunken make-outs, while groping each other).

“Jason, are you okay or not?”

I know you still think about the times we had

I say fuck that nigga that you think you found

And since you picked up, I know he's not around, oh oh

I'm just sayin' you could do better

 Cause even if those VERY BLURRY nights that you can’t almost remember were nice, there were also the others; those which kind of made you hold onto Dick tighter in bed, at dawn when he sneaked in, cold skin, occasionally bruised. He felt so precious and delicate under the first rays of sun, as his dreams started to die under his eyelids, barely any movement in his body save the soft breathing out of his mouth. Too precious, and too yours.

You loved him entirely and completely. He made you feel so happy you wanted to cry at times; there was nothing lacking, not the sex, not the affection.

 But Jason doesn’t think the same.

What about the rush, what about the times you’ve had?

“Why you pick up?” I know he’s not there, he implies, but doesn’t say. She knows too. “It’s late. Thought you were now reformed; no phone after 2AM or something like that, right?”

“Some of us have jobs. Unfortunately, I don’t have a fortune to fall back on”.

“Ouch.”

It’s very easy to just talk. They laugh, and she gets up on bed; Jason can picture her, duvet up to her chin, propping up her pillow (the best he’s had), to talk better, while still charging the phone. He hears the rustling on her side, meaning she’s staring at the side he used to sleep in. She always loved to sleep tucked into his chest.

“You still haven’t answered.”

“Right back at ya’. Are you okay?”

A really difficult question for a drunken and very honest man at 3AM in the morning.

If he was a better man, he would wish her a goodnight and hang up; no more talking, no more suggesting, no more playing with fire. If he was a better man, he probably wouldn’t be drunk-texting girls to “cheer him up” after this call, and he would just go home, sleep it off, and go at it again another night.

But he really is not, and it’s too late to go back now. That’s at least what he tells himself, what he tries to entitle himself into: he feels too much, he’s had it bad the last couple of weeks without you. So, he is owed that.

And that is his mistake, for no one is entitled to anything over anyone, no matter their own personal suffering.

“I guess.” Vague; but enough to let her get out, not dig in. Which is really a trap when he knows of your good nature, but he tells himself that it’s your choice (your fault!) for asking about it.

“That’s… Comforting, I guess. Friend calling at 3AM, probably lost and unaware of where he is right now, fucking drunk and in a completely safe neighborhood, I’m sure…”. There’s a sigh. He hates hearing you sigh; it’s always cause you’re so tired of him, he knows, he knows. And he hates himself for it, makes him feel so useless. “Just send me your location, I’ll guide you home.”

‘But aren’t you on Blüdhaven?’, he naïvely wants to ask, just to almost punch himself right after. She means the safe house or whatever place is near, that she might have still saved as her favorite or most usual locations at Gotham.

Tell me, have you heard that lately?

I'm just sayin' you could do better

And I'll start hatin' only if you make me

 “So, why you pick up?”, he asks again, just enough sober. His stomach is in knots from the alcohol (and not waiting for your answer, just hearing your voice and talking to you). He’s on a taxi, and the yellow lights on him are making him sleepy. “I answered.”

It’s 4.38AM. Sending a cab there was easy enough once you had his location and Jason swore he wasn’t moving anymore. Bless technology, you think to yourself now a bit irritated for wanting to sleep and not being able to. Your lids are heavy, and the sheets too soft.

“Obviously cause’ I’m an idiot who forgot to silence their phone.” It’s a half-joke. If you had done just like Dick had suggested, you would not be having that conversation. You change sides in your bed, now looking outside, to the window; Jason’s sigh is audible. You almost feel a heavy and ghostly arm bracing you from behind. “If the info is correct, you should be arriving home soon. Wanna hang up?”

“I miss you.”

A beat.

Breath knocked out of your lungs and silence only interrupted by your dramatic mouth breathing. You literally forgot to breathe; that’s how being with Jason used to make you feel.

As exciting and exhilarating every night out or in with him was, it was not good for you. The nights that were good, but the bad ones, really made your feel like shit. And if someone loves you, they will never hurt you. You know, you so know, how bad he’s had it: but that’s not an excuse for his shitty behavior, his stupid harmful jokes or the way he made you feel.

“Jason, it’s been a long week, I know.”

“No, I know, I know-I’m not-I’m not trying to-“. A sigh. His sighs always broke you: too tired, too broken. Jason always had a way with words, but you managed to sometimes kill that off too. “I don’t want to start out anything. I just want to say sorry. I wanted to, but I know-fuck, I really KNOW-“

“Don’t scream, please.” Firm. Cold.

He’s losing you.

“No, I’m sorry. I’m an ass.” He laughs; it’s self-deprecating and you hate it, but you really don’t have the energy right now. “I…”. Nothing comes out. There’s a long silence. Inhale, exhale (“Jason, just breathe, please”): “I love you. Probably more than I would ever admit to do, and you mean so much to me, but I fucked up big time. And I know, I know-” He emphasizes, without elevating his tone. “-I know you’re so happy with him, fuck! It’s disgusting. It’s fucking bizarre to see you two together.” Poison that he spits, that’s eating him out; acid destroying everything inside, every little nerve of sanity still inside. “And yet, I can’t stop-I really think I don’t want to stop thinking on whatever we had, on the kiss we shared-“

“Jay, that was not-“

“No, I know. I know, but we shared it, and it brought me memories, and you closed off! Fuck, I had you to myself, we were-fuck.”

He curses out for a bit. You let him vent, sighing and putting your hand over your eyes, as if to stop everything from happening. No more 3AM calls.

Had it been pretty shitty of you to get with his “brother”? Maybe, but it wasn’t on purpose or with a malicious intent. It really had been pure coincidence that you had hit if off on one of the galas where Jason stood you up, with a considerable hangover and too sick to move anywhere. That, with the argument you had been having more and more often… Jason wasn’t sure you were even going to show up, but there they had met, and he regrets it every day.

 (But sometimes…

 Sometimes they look so perfect that he thinks they might just have been destined to happen, one way or another. If it was not in a gala, maybe a rescue, maybe a touch on the street, a crush, a rude Gothamite exchange of words as you clashed onto each other.

 Whatever. It just happened and now you two were together.)

 “Jason, I was never… “Only yours” to have.”

“On that we can agree. We never really settled, and I didn’t ever treat you nice.”

Not like she wanted; he knew. They were just… Casual friends who fucked every two weeks, who occasionally kissed and got jealous over the other receiving attention from the opposite sex (sometimes same sex). Despite what everyone else thinks, he is quickly to see others social intentions; her whispers on his skin, the brightness on her eyes whenever they would do it with such intimacy, the cuddling… No, he knew, of course he did, that she wanted more.

Jason just wasn’t ready for it. He might never be, but it’s not your fault; never was, never will. And he might just have lost forever the one thing he wanted.

But that’s the thing: everyone wants the chocolate scoop. But what they might need for a change is something they’ve never tried before.

“I don’t know what you’re babbling on about ice cream, Jay. I really…”. She’s tired, he knows. From him, from Dick and his waiting (she never really liked him going on rounds); from just having to bear with all the weight of the world on her naked and frail shoulders. “It’s not the time for this conversation. Can we… Talk another time?”

A beat.

Inhale, exhale.

“Yeah.”. Tired, so tired. Lids closing off,. “I’m here anyways, so I’ll hang up…”. Silence; insufferable silence. He closes his eyes for a second. “Have a goodnight.”

“You too, Jason.”

He’s not there, but he will be soon. He hopes for that, at least; everything will be easier.

[philosophicalparadox]

I couldn't choose one ^_^; but for mephirin how about one of these?

3. “Am I dead?”

18. “Would you quit moving around?” “It’s not my fault we’re tied up together!”

57. “Wait a second.. are you jealous?”

86. “You’re getting crumbs all over my bed.”

111. “Is that a challenge?”

151. “Times up!”

191. “Don’t give me that look! You started it!”

204. “It’s midnight, what do you want?”

(I promise I used one of these, it's just at the end!) TW for talk of suicide, death, self harm(minor) and angst (with a little fluff at the end. But first you must suffer the cringe that is Mephisto + feelings)

....................

Rin sat down in front of Mephisto's mansion, letting the weight in his stomach anchor him to the concrete, even though his mind felt a million miles away.

"You do realize it's the middle of the night." A smooth voice chimed behind him. Rin had expected his company - in fact that was the very reason he was there, or so he thought.

Getting no reply to his passive statement, Mephisto came up on his flank, dressed in a dark purple velvet robe that was left largely open at the top, exposing his pale chest to the humid night air, his bare, clawed feet making not a single sound. It wasn't hot, but it wasn't cool either, not that Rin would have noticed anyway.

"I'm surprised you didn't ask why I'm here." Rin said softly after a long, wet pause.

"Did you want me to?" Rin felt his teeth clench. He didnt have the energy to play stupid games. But he also knew Mephisto was right. He really needed to stop expecting human responses from a cosmic demon entity. It wasn't good for his sanity.

"I want you to sit by me." He stated. If Mephisto wanted him to be forthcoming with his desires, so be it. Rin half expected a retort, but couldn't say he was all that disappointed when the older man obliged. He sat at arms length, predictably uncomfortable with intimacy in these situations. And Rin knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he knew why he was here anyhow.

"Nothing can live forever, Rin. I know that better than anyone."

"Except for you, maybe." Rin replied sarcastically. "And only because you choose to live through it all." Rin responded bitterly. His grimace turned to a body-wide tremble. "How? How do you watch people die again and again and just keep doing it?"

"Doing what, precisely?"

"Living."

"Hmm." Mephisto hummed as he thought, bringing a thin, sharp clawed finger to his jawline. "That is actually not a bad question." Rin turned a curious gaze to his elder, surprised how compliant he was being tonight. Usually the man was as rigid as iron and as slippery as smoke whenever it came to feely-stuff like this, not that such a vague statement was out of the ordinary for him.

"And why isn't it a bad question?" Rin parroted his typical sing songy voice at him as a jab, but they both knew there was no heart in it.

"That is a good question." Mephisto smiled leerily at Rin, who was so used to these kinds of interactions by now he was hardly fazed. "And is it one worth answering? Or are you too intimidated by me? By this?" The look that morphed onto Mephisto's face like a sculptor playing with clay was priceless.

"Excuse me?" He said incredulously.

"You're intimidated by touchy feely stuff, though I don't know why. Me being all fucked up and hurt right now creeps you out, I know it does." Mephisto pursed his lips into a hard line, and Rin knew he was spot on. He decided it felt good to torment the man a little and dug in deeper. "So if you're going to sit there and mock me because you're a coward who is allergic to feelings, then you can fuck right off."

"Coward?" Rin felt a tiny ripple of panic tear through his already heightened body, the tone Mephisto used indicating that that might not have been the best word to use. But it was too late to back out now.

"Yes, a coward." Rin swallowed, refusing to be fazed. "And if you want to prove me wrong you'll answer the damn question instead of beating around the bush. But you're too scared of feelings to do that," Rin sighed, suddenly overtaken with a sense of fatigue. "So I don't know why I try. Or what I came here for, anyway. Company? Comfort? Hah. Don't know where I got that idea from."

A long, pregnant pause ensued. Rin glanced up at Mephisto once or twice, expecting a sharp retort, and seen him ruminating on an apt reply. What he said next was not what Rin was expecting though.

"Is that a challenge?"

Rin met cautiously determined eyes and was a bit unsure of what to say. "Only if you plan on taking it, Mr. Tough Guy." Rin tried, and failed, to stop the little smile that graced his lips. "Or do you think you cant be that open with me?" Rin could tell from the apprehension that drifted across Mephisto's glowy irises like a tiny cloud dims the moon that he was right. This man was in the business of trusting no one with his secrets. Not even his best piece. Especially not his best piece.

"I'm not going to think less of you for feeling things. Quite the opposite if anything. Besides..." Rin cringed when the thought of his brother's freshly dug grave. "I could use the distraction from my own thoughts."

"So you've elected to pick through mine. How charming of you." Mephisto pinned his ears with a sarcastic grimace before returning to his thoughts, though his expresion was a touch softer.

"I am not unfamiliar with death, of that you can be sure - and I don't mean the entity either." Mephisto began. "I have died before. But as you know by now, death for demons is not quite the same. Indeed, neither is the death of Nephilim." Rin felt his heart throb achingly in his chest and fought the sudden, unbidden urge to cry. He was the last one left. All he had was Mephisto now.

"And suicide?" Rin asked boldly, unsure of where, even, the question rose from. "Are you familiar with that?"

"Yes, actually, I am. In a way." Mephisto's voice took on a somber tone (for him) and Rin had to resist the urge to ask if he was being serious or not. Mephisto looked to Rin's face and could read everything. "I am not immune to my own mind, unfortunately. Boredom, depression - these things are not beyond me. I have experienced them, in my own way. I admit I have trouble understanding why some humans end their lives, but not all of them."

"So..." Rin's mind was reeling trying to catch up. He wasn't precisely surprised, exactly - Mephisto could be very macabre when the situation allowed, but Rin didn't trust the integrity of his words just yet. "Have you ever tried to kill yourself?"

"Not intentionally, no. By which I mean that I have most certainly damaged myself and my body needlessly, but it was never with the exact intention of dying."

"So you've hurt yourself? On purpose?"

"Yes. Sometimes out of boredom. Sometimes for other reasons." The sudden, though subtle tension in Mephisto's voice told Rin that was as close to disclosing those reasons as he was going to get.

"I can understand that, I guess." Rin thought about it. He'd injured himself on purpose before, although it was out of curiosity more than self loathing. He couldn't say he hadn't considered it before while he felt really low, though.

"What happened to Yukio was not your fault."

The statement came out of left field and hit Rin like a train. He couldn't stop the tears from flowing now. "He did what he felt he had to do." Rin justified weakly. "He was getting old. His body was eating itself. I don't blame him or me for not letting him suffer." Rin's voice cracked. "I just wish I could have been there. Said goodbye. I know it didn't hurt, but..." Rin couldn't keep his composure. "There were better ways to do it. No one would have told him no. No one." Rin garbled through sobs.

"I tried to talk to him about that actually. He didn't want anyone else doing it for him. He wanted to be in control of his life to the very last second."

"I know. I know." Rin heaved a heavy sigh to try and calm down, but everything, every part of him was shaking and he just wanted to run away from the pain. To curl up and die because the last part of his world had gone to a better place and he desperately wanted to follow. He didn't want to be alone. Anything but alone.

A cold, spindly hand on the small of his back shocked him back into reality, and he realised he was clenching his jaw so hard it hurt.

"Don't drift away. It wont take you anywhere you want to go." Mephisto advised wisely. The, Rin wanted to call it sovereign, look in his eyes proved what he knew from experience. Don't drift away. Rin focused his mind on the surprisingly cold hand, not because of it's temperature but because of how lightly it touched him. Gentle might have been a part of gentleman, but he had never really known Samael to be either the former or the latter with any amount of honesty.

Rin got an idea then, and pounced on Mephisto before he was able to object, bowling him over lightly and straddling his chest. Confused and slightly concerned eyes met his own stern and jaded ones. He wasn't going to feel any better by sitting here feeling the hard concrete dig into his ass, that much was true.

"Then help me stay right here." Rin offered, his tail wiggling somewhat enticingly, Mephisto's face lighting up in realization.

"Is that a challenge?"

[heloflor]

Rogue arc : A few random thoughts regarding the characters and their actions (+ other stuff)

Part 1 (an analysis of “Abducting Murphy’s Law”; you don’t need to read it to understand this post)

So, as I said in the first half, I’m going here to talk about some more stuff regarding and around the rogue arc like the apology and Dakota having issues. This post is way less organized than the previous one and is much more of a personal opinion/rant rather than an analysis. So be aware that this post is a subjective point of view that has some negative criticism at some parts. Basically, this is just me infodumping for the sake of infodumping. Though, I tried to organize it a bit with titles because I still want to do something that people want to and can read.

Like last time, here’s the tl;dr :

- While Cavendish is at fault for the argument in “Abducting Murphy’s Law”, the whole situation showed that Dakota has dependance issues due to trauma and needs to learn to back off, for his own sanity as much as for his relationship with Cav.

- The kids didn’t question why Cav was alone in a ship and waited days before nonchalantly telling Dakota about it and it pisses me off to no end.

- Compared to Doof and Perry, the reconciliation had no build up and wasn’t satisfying in the slightest.

- Neither Dakota nor Cavendish seem to have learned a thing during the arc. Also, there was a missed opportunity to see Dakota consider Doof differently because of his future status as Professor Time. Also, imagine Doof calling out Dakota on being too clingy.

(long post ahead)

1. Dakota needs to work on himself

So to start up, regarding the whole “who has to apologize to who” debate : personally, I believe that, when it comes to the events of the episode “Abducting Murphy’s Law”, Cavendish is the one to blame. He’s the one who got obsessed with finding the ship and who refused to listen to Dakota, even when Dakota wanted them to just sit down and talk things out. He’s also the one who decided to go rogue and ghost Dakota, letting the guy probably terrified for Cavendish’s safety. So in that regard, Cavendish is the one who needs to apologize.

BUT !!! On a much larger scale, the entire arc showed us that Dakota clearly has some issues. To be honest, when I started to get more into the show and started re-watching some episodes, I literally went to google “co-dependance” to see if Dakota fitted the characteristics. And while he doesn’t, there still clearly is some dependance here. And, if we end up having a new season, I genuinely wish that they could point out Dakota’s issues, though I guess the executives might consider it to be too “mature” to happen on the show. But yeah, Dakota has issues, and that’s the first point I’d like to talk about.

Given what we know in “The Island of Lost Dakotas” and that mention about a “Mississippi purchase”, whatever that is, it’s safe to assume that Dakota had been traumatized. Purchase aside, he had to witness his partner die over and over again, probably around a thousand times. And between the fall into lava with the skeleton visible, the “milk to death” (I have no idea what it means and I don’t think I want to) and whatever led to Cannibal Dakota’s existence, some of those deaths definitely seem very gruesome.

Dakota saw some shit, and there’s no way he can simply shrug it off. We clearly see how he’s still impacted by it in season 2 with how protective he is of Cavendish now that he can’t go back. This actually reminds me of how I recently decided to re-watch the small scene with Dakota and Doof in “Cast Party”, the scene when they’re at the ice-cream place. And one thing I can’t help but over-analyze is Dakota asking “Do things happen for a reason or is it just chaos ?”. When he says that, I can’t help thinking that he’s referring to Cavendish’s deaths. It’s like he was asking “Is Cavendish meant to die or is the world just fucking with me ?”.

So yeah, when Cavendish suddenly disappear, with Dakota having no idea of where he went or why, it’s no wonder that he would be so set on trying to find him. For all he knows, Cavendish is already dead. And if he’s still alive, there’s tons of things that could go wrong, and if they do, Dakota is powerless to stop it. This is probably a terrifying situation to be in.

But at the same time, Cavendish is an adult and is now aware of his deaths, so he might try to be careful. I mean, in “Lady Krillers”, when he sees the alien, he’s very quick to let Dakota protect him.

And that’s where most of the problem comes from. Dakota doesn’t seem to fully trust Cavendish to keep himself alive, which is probably not helped by the fact that, given how Dakota is constantly saving him, Cavendish probably doesn’t know his own limits and might overestimate himself.

But I think the biggest problem with this whole situation, aside from the fact that Dakota needs to lay off and understand that Cavendish is a responsible adult who needs to learn what are his limits so he can take care of himself, is the fact that the show is constantly validating Dakota. Just look at what happens in the rogue arc. When we see Cavendish alone, he constantly gets hurt by everything. And near the end of the arc, he even gets trapped inside an ice cube, left to die if nobody finds him. Thing is, by showing Cavendish suffer so much and basically die from being alone, the show is basically telling us that Dakota is right to be so worried about Cavendish, because Cavendish can’t survive alone.

Though, honestly, the show has a tendency to “demonize” Cavendish when he and Dakota are arguing. I mean, in “A Christmas Peril”, both are at fault. Cavendish for being insensitive and putting Dakota down from not understanding why Dakota feels underappreciated, and Dakota for not explaining why he feels that way (refereeing to the island) which leads him to get more and more frustrated with Cav. But, while both apologize in the end, in a kids’ point of view, Cavendish is the asshole who pushed Dakota away by showing no respect. It also doesn’t help that, up until “Time Out” in which we start to see more of his personality, Cav was kind of a giant ass during the beginning of the show; while on the other hand, Dakota is one of the most liked characters of the show.

And in the rogue arc, it’s the same problem. Cavendish is never once shown to have any regrets about his actions, he’s never seen struggling with living alone or being in the forest. And meanwhile, Dakota spends all his time sulking and looking like a kicked puppy. It’s because of stuff like that that the fandom is so split on the “who’s at fault” question and why we tend to sympathize so much with Dakota.

So to put it short, what I’m saying here is that Dakota has dependance issues due to trauma that needs to be addressed and worked on so that he can stop being worried for Cavendish 24/7, because not only is it unhealthy for their relationship, it’s also very damaging for Dakota. Seriously, just look at how much of a desperate emotional mess he is in “Escape”.

2. The kids anger me

Now, since I already mentioned it briefly, I’d like to talk with how the characters were handled in the arc, in particular in “Cavendish Unleashed”. Thing is, I already wrote a post ranting about the stuff I dislike in season 2; and in this post, I made a part about this episode. So instead of copy-pasting it, here’s a brief summary of what I say in this post :

- Basically, the ending of “Cavendish Unleashed” angers me everytime I see it because the kids just go away without asking any questions, nevermind the fact that that Cavendish has been missing for days and that Dakota is desperate to find him. And the worst is that, not only do they not ask Cavendish about Dakota looking for him, but they also don’t tell Dakota that they saw Cavendish. They just wait for like a week or two before being like “Oh by the way, we found an UFO the other day and Cav was there” (seriously, there are SO nonchalant when they tell him Cav was in the ship with them). And it’s not like they didn’t know Cavendish was missing ! In escape, the way Dakota tells them that he has to find an UFO makes it seem like they knew for a while.

- Another thing is that, as I said earlier, we never see Cavendish feel bad about his actions, and that dialogue with the kids would have been the perfect opportunity for such a moment.

- Finally, there’s the fact that, in the last episode of season 2, Cavendish starts talking about being the hero of Octalia, making it seem like he didn’t learn a thing from the experience, despite having all the time of the world for it when he was stuck into the ice.

So yeah, that’s pretty much the stuff I ranted about. One last thing that I could add regarding the arc not being handled well is how stupid Dakota was on the whole “finding Cavendish” situation. I mean, hasn’t he tried looking into the forest ? Seriously, the ship is like a mile away from the town. If the kids going near it on bike and Cavendish leading people to it is any indication, this isn’t that much of a walk. So why didn’t Dakota try to look for him here ? Honestly the only explanation I found (and put in a fic) is the idea of Dakota thinking that Cav could never survive alone in the forest, so he’s terrified of what he would find if he were to look for him there. But other than that, unless the ship is really well hidden (it’s not), I don’t really see why Dakota didn’t find it earlier. Or is it because he was too busy stress-eating and hanging out with Doof to go there ?

And speaking of Doof, why didn’t he try using an inator to find Cavendish ? I mean, it worked for Milo in “Abducting Murphy’s Law”, and in “Escape”, we learn that Cavendish’ DNA can be found in his and Dakota’s apartment. So why not making an inator to find him ? Why waiting around for like a month before finally resolving to science ?

3. The reconciliation

Thirdly, I’d like to talk in this post about the reconciliation between Cavendish and Dakota and how fast-pasted it was, especially in comparison to Doof and Perry (this part is actually the main reason why this post exists to begin with). For this part, I’m going to talk about each part of the argument and reconciliation and compare both stories.

First off, the argument to begin with. In Doof’s case, he’s the one who got hurt by Perry and decided to “break up”. Perry messed up, understood that he messed up, and Doof needed time to accept Perry again. So both parties knew who did what and understood that Doof was angry and needed time. Also, we follow Doof, the one who was hurt but who also called the relationship off.

But in Cavendish and Dakota’s case, Cavendish is the one who messed up but also the one who called the relationship off. And unlike Doof and Perry, Dakota has no idea of what happened since Cav erased his memory to prevent Dakota from following him. From one second to the next, Dakota found himself alone, having no idea where Cavendish was, no idea why Cavendish left, no idea what he did to push Cavendish away and with his last memory of Cavendish being the argument in the armory (from what we see in “Managing Murphy’s Law”, the memory eraser only makes you forget the last 10-15 minutes or so at what I guess is the first use in one day). And honestly, thinking back at the reconciliation, it seems to be what angered Dakota the most. It’s not that Cavendish left, it’s that Cavendish ghosted him after making him forget the reason why. So from the get-go, Dakota is in a worse situation than Doof, meaning that his situation could require some more work. And do we get that work ? Nope !

Secondly, the regrets from the “guilty party”. For Perry, you have the card that he sends a few episodes later. This shows that he feels truly bad for what he did and is willing to make things right if Doof wants to. But when the card is sent, Doof still needs time to himself. As for Cavendish, like I said earlier, he doesn’t once show any regret for ghosting Dakota. Worse, when he finally reunites with him, he doesn’t bring up the issue, though it is a delicate situation with Milo being kidnapped and, like I said in my first post, it does seem like Cavendish intended to come back at some point. Still, that last part is something that Dakota didn’t know. And speaking of Dakota, he spends the entire time being miserable, which only makes Cavendish look worse with how he doesn’t question himself once. And speaking of which…

Thirdly, there’s how the “got hurt” party handles their emotion, aka how they feel throughout the whole arc. For Doof, he starts off very bitter and salty at Perry. But as the episodes progress and as he starts to hang out with Dakota, he kinds of forget about Perry. It’s like he’s busying himself by trying to help Dakota, making him get over it pretty easily by not thinking much about it. And by the end of the arc, he seems to have gotten over it. He wasn’t really bitter about it anymore and all that was left was the talk with Perry to set things right.

But with Dakota, he only gets worse as time goes by. Though, looking at “Cast Party” and “First Impressions”, he seems pretty fine. But then you look at “Look at This Ship” and “Escaped” and you’ll notice that he went from having no patience and being pretty sad in the first episode to being an absolute mess in the second. Again, Dakota depends on Cavendish and needs to be assured that the guy is doing fine, so the whole situation makes him unable to function properly. So while Doof progressively gets better by getting his mind on something else, Dakota can’t stop thinking about Cav and only gets progressively worse.

And finally, there’s the reconciliation, the culmination of all this time spent sulking and hanging out. Again, for Doof and Perry, the resolution is done well. We’ve seen Perry feel bad for what he did, we’ve seen Doof get a hold of his emotions over time. And when Doof confronts Perry, we see that both of them are genuinely regretful of what happened. And then there’s the paycheck. Doof’s argument against Perry was that Perry only cares for him because it’s his job to do so. So by showing the paycheck, Perry answer to what Doof was bothered by. He showed Doof that no, it’s not about the money, and that he genuinely cares about the guy for who he is and wants to help him doing good, another thing that Doof was bothered with regarding Perry not being there to support him for it.

This works. You have a good setting to begin with, you have time given to the dialogue and the reconciliation, and the reconciliation is given with Perry reassuring Doof on the exact points the guy was worried about. It’s good stuff ! It’s great ! It’s well-written and developed !

And then there’s Cavendish and Dakota. Not only do they have very little time to make up, they also don’t really talk about what happened. Dakota is angry about being ghosted, Cavendish tries to justify himself by saying that he was trying to protect Dakota (he wasn’t but it’s easier for his conscience to tell himself he did) and then Dakota looks sad and Cavendish apologizes. Seriously, that’s all there is to it. Dakota makes a sad face and it makes Cavendish feel bad so he apologizes. And Dakota just accepts the small apology, as if he didn’t spend the last few hours having a breakdown over Cavendish being gone. Though, I tend to see him accept the apology fast because of the relief of the moment.

But still, when Cavendish says “Can we talk about this later ?”, I sure hope they do ! Because that half-assed moment is nowhere near enough to break down all the things these two need to talk about. And besides, such a short apology could have worked, but only if the apology was brought up in a good way like it did with Doof and Perry. But again, it didn’t. It was brought up with Cavendish never thinking about Dakota and Dakota only getting more and more sad as time went by. So it doesn’t work.

And even the hug at the end doesn’t work. Yeah it’s cute but these two have hugged several times in the past and these other hugs are much cuter and more significant. I mean, toddler Dakota hugging Cavendish, showing that part of him still remember the guy ? Adorable. Two Dakotas on the island hugging Cavendish for the first time in possibly years while all the other Dakotas are trying to talk at the same time in the hopes of getting to be heard by Cavendish, with also one singing and one having a tattoo of Cav’s hat ? The cutest and most heartbreaking thing in the show. Dakota stuffing the memory eraser thing and Cavendish hugging him in joy to congratulate him ? An extremely underrated moment. So yeah, in my opinion, these hugs give more emotions than the one in “Milo in Space”, because the heart is much more there.

So to conclude on this, Dakota and Cavendish’s reconciliation is pretty bad because it sets up for a big resolution but only takes a few seconds to happen. And, related to the wish to have the show talk about Dakota’s issues, if we get a season 3, I wish they’d at least mention that these two need to talk about the whole thing.

4. Things I wished they had added in this arc

Finally, I’d like to mention a few things that, in my opinion, could have been great to see in the arc. This part is entirely personal opinions (though most of this post is tbh).

First off, obviously, you have the stuff I mentioned before, aka addressing Dakota being dependent, a longer reconciliation or, as Cavendish says, the promise of a talk later, and the kids not being idiots who didn’t ask a single question at the end of “Cavendish Unleashed” and never told Dakota. And regarding the kids, I actually don’t mind them not telling Dakota, but at least give an explanation as to why they didn’t instead of being like “oh yeah we forgot to tell you this” ! Like, maybe Cav asked them to remain silent or something.

Secondly, I wish Cavendish had learned a few things from the experience. As I said, in the last episode, the way he talks make it seem like he didn’t learn shit. And it’s annoying. Why didn’t he learn that running for fame like that was a terrible idea ? Or that it was better to work with others than alone ? Or that, instead of running after a fortune that he may never have, he could remember that there are people already in his life who like him for who he is instead of what his heroic actions are, who care for him and would give anything to be with him ? Also, we definitely needed moments in which he struggled to live outside and alone, and moments in which he was doubting and missing what he left.

And, about characters learning stuff, it would also be interesting to have Dakota realize and accept that Cavendish managed to survive alone in the forest for like a month. In other words, Dakota could use what happened as a “base” to try convincing himself to back off, like if he gets too worried, he could try remembering that Cavendish survived this to calm himself down.

Thirdly, I wished the interactions with Dakota and Doof were more than just eating and talking about Cavendish there and there. I mean, Doof is Professor Time, someone Dakota idolizes, even if not as much as Cavendish does. So why didn’t they talk about this at some point ? And tbh, I also would’ve liked maybe a dialogue or two between Doof and Cavendish regarding Professor Time (though this doesn’t have to do with the rogue arc). Also, I said it earlier, but why didn’t Doof helped with an inator before the clone one ? Couldn’t they give an explanation for that ? And even something such as “when I make any inators OWCA sends Perry and I don’t want to see him” could have been enough of an explanation.

One last thing that I would have wished to see with Doof is him trying to call Dakota out for being such a mess because one guy he cares for wants some space. I actually wanted to write a oneshot about Doof seeing Dakota feeling moody while at his “apartment” and Doof using his own experience as a husband to tell Dakota to get his shit together and give the man his space or else his relationship would fall very quickly.

And yes I know Cavendish and Dakota aren’t married in the show and Doof doesn’t have much friends. But Doof is a guy that values good communication, as we see with how he rambles all the time, how he listens to Vanessa’s advices and is there when she needs an ear (in “Minor Monogram” she very quickly opens up to him at the beginning of the episode; and in general, she isn’t afraid to speak her mind to him and he listens) and, as far as we know, he and Charlene never had their divorce because of communication issues. Also he’s learning to speak platypus, most likely so that Perry can communicate with him better.

So yeah, if anybody could give Dakota a pep talk about why Cavendish might need space and how the two need to talk things out, it’s Doof. Hell, Doof is the one who’s mad at Perry and needs time and space away from him, so he understands what needing space is.

And about this oneshot, for those interested : I changed the idea and it’s going to be a talk between Dakota and Cavendish instead.

  So here’s the end of these two parts about the rogue arc ! These posts were way much longer than I anticipated but hey, a rambling is a rambling. And yeah, these posts are just me needing to infodump on random stuff nobody cares about. But given how nobody I know irl cares about children cartoons or have a good enough level in English to understand my stuff, I need to infodump somehow. So you’re the ones who have to bear with me ! 😉

Thanks for reading !

[wartsandwarlocks]

Letters - Pt 1, 1981, Lily and Alice.

Dear Alice, September 25th

I can’t believe we have to do this! If we are going to die it should at least be while fighting, not in here all alone! Or at least we should be able to see our friends, if I stay here a day longer alone with this dumbass and his son I will kill Mr. V by myself. I hope you are holding up better than we are, or that you are at least a but more... Sane, than us. Harry cries non stop and one of these days my head will explode if he doesn’t shut up. How are you lot holding up?

Best Wishes,

Lily.

Dear Lily, October 2nd

It’s a terrible situation, yes, but Frank and I have been bonding like never before! I hate to admit that this whole situation has made us come closer but it has. We realized that the secret to keeping our sanity while we are locked away from the world is... Writing letters! My hand hasn’t hurt like this since the NEWTS which is pretty hilarious considering I didn’t even study that much.

However, we also noticed that watching TV is the biggest remedy for the “outside longing”, as Frank likes to call it, and it even helps out poor little Neville calm down as well. It’s a true shame we can’t see anyone else because I’m sure we would be having a much better time locked up with some friends (and maybe even some fire whiskey!). Well, I hope some of these things help you and don’t forget, if you need to stay sane, you can always write me!!

Love,

Alice F.

Dear Alice, October 8th

TV!! Why didn’t I think of that!! As a muggleborn, I feel so stupid!

Anyway, I get the whole hand thing! My hand is sore and trust me, Remus and I would spend long hours writing things for school. I’ve tried the blackboard spell they taught us in sixth year but, sadly, it only works on blackboards. I’ve been trying to figure out a spell that will write as I speak but they are so weak! Flitwick would be disappointed of me...

I’m also like 1000% sure that James has been sneaking out to see Sirius using the invisibility cloaks,which is ridiculous since he thinks having fire whiskey is dangerous since they can attack us anytime.

James inspired me (bad bad bad) and I miss my friends so I might have a little escapade of my own one of these days, you should come with!

Love,

Lily

Dear Doe, October 12th

I heard about the change in location, that damned Dumbledore won’t let us catch our breaths, right?

Frank and I are enraged with him for not even letting Frank’s mum visit us, that poor old lady won’t stop until she gets to see our baby Neville walking and Frank had to tell her to stop because Dumbledore will have her killed if she accidentally reveals our secret location. And I’m sure he is capable of doing such a thing so better safe than sorry! I also heard he took your invisibility cloak, what is wrong with the old man?!

I hope the new location is comfortable for you three and that James is clever enough to stay inside this time! Sadly, Frank agrees on the fire whiskey, but we have a little every day to alleviate the boredom and the headaches our young Neville is causing us. Is Harry also growing his teeth? Because it’s such a pain for everyone! I hope it’s less of a pain to you.

Best of wishes,

Lisica

Dear Doe, October 14th

I’m sorry about Marlene, she was the bravest, nicest, most dedicated person I’ve met. She deserved so much better, but I believe that the fact that she’s resting with her family, can be more comforting than you think. She fought for what she believed in and died doing something she was utterly passionate about.

Please know that you can count on me for anything you need.

the biggest hugs and kisses,

Lisica

Dear Lisica, October 20th

Thank you so much for your sweet message about Marls. She truly was one of the best persons to walk this earth.

Luckily, Dumbledore let us assist her funeral through the invisibility cloak, if we promised to give it back to him immediately after. No one even knew we were there which was so heart breaking to see. I have never seen Mary so devastated and James wanted to hug everyone so bad, it was horrible.

On a brighter note, I have found a writing spell! It’s strong enough to write for around 20 minutes non stop! You just have to put a pen or pencil on top of the parchment and point your wand and say “Loqui Scribere” and tada!

Oh and Harry has been such a pain in the ass! Why can’t he just speak more fluently instead of grunting at everything he sees? Thank goodness his teeth grew in last June, but you should try giving Neville soft sweets for him to bite, I’m pretty sure he will stop crying so much.

I can’t wait to prove Dumbledore wrong when we both come put of this sick year alive.

Love,

Doe

Dear Doe, October 26th

Thank you so much for the tip! I haven’t slept this well since Merlin knows when!

I’m really sorry you couldn’t talk to your friends, but I’m sure that you can find ways to confort them. Death in this situations is easier to handle, sadly. No one could have known that she was ever going to be a target, I would give so much to have someone who knows who will be the next target.

About that, I’ve been speaking with Emmeline and she has some really good theories about who the traitor is. When she says it, it makes so so much sense. However, I don’t think it’s safe for me to say it in a letter, maybe one of these days we can talk over the phone?

Oh and, your spell is a miracle, you should be considered a god for that.

Love,

Lisica

Dear Lisica, October 31th

Happy Halloween! It’s such a shame that, as witches, we don’t get to celebrate our day together (or with anyone else for that matter), but I’m hopeful next year will be better. We’ll win this stupid war once and for all and we are going to celebrate our heads off.

Yes! I would love to talk on the phone with you!! I miss hearing other people’s voices and you probably have so many interesting things to say, I would love to discuss it with you. James and I also have a pretty good idea of who the traitor is and I’ve been meaning to talk about it with someone else. Write me a date and I’ll manage to get a phone by that time. Probably next week I can have one sneaked in by our secret keeper.

I can’t wait to talk to someone real again! Have a safe Halloween!

Love,

Doe

[woogyu]

Funny Drabble Game

Drabble Prompts; fluff | angst | funny (when requesting PLEASE add which prompt list it is from)

Can have up to 3 prompts per request + can send multiple requests.

They will all be written for fem reader. I’m very sorry about this, it is just because of what I know/have experience in writing.

Please format requests as follows; funny member prompt # or #s.

ex. funny member #12 + #15

ex. funny florist!member x student!reader #14

Send your requests/asks: here

~ prompts under the cut ~

crossed out = don’t request, usually for when I’ve gotten tired of a specific prompt coming up too often or I don’t like it

Drabble Prompts [credit; https://justforshitsandcackles.tumblr.com ]

“You’re such a fun drunk.”

“Since my dog likes you then i guess i like you.”

“Tell them to fuck off.”

“It’s six o’clock in the morning, you’re not having vodka.”

“I want to strangle you 99% of the time.”

“Could you not suck for five minutes?”

“The ladies love a guy who’s good with kids.”

“You can’t banish me! This is my bed/bedroom too!”

“You’re seriously like a man-child.”

“Well thats tragic.”

“I’m too sober for this.”

“You are actually insane!”

“I think you’re actually satan.”

“It’s like -50 degrees in here.”

“Laugh at my jokes! They’re funny and you know it!”

“Sorry isn’t going to help when i kick your ass!”

“Don’t let one of them electrocute themselves or something.”

“Welcome back. Now fucking help me.”

“Do you find this amusing, fuck face?”

“Holy shit! That thing is huge!”

“Don’t kink shame me.”

“I hope i’m never stuck with you on a deserted island.”

“I just cleaned that!”

“Don’t get sassy with me!”

“What do you have behind your back?”

“If you interrupt me one more time, so help me god.”

“Not to toot my own horn or anything, but the dog loves me more.”

“I’m going to put on some clothes before you say anything else.”

“Bite me.” “If you insist.”

“Im not going to stop poking you until you give me some attention.”

“I need you to be my fake girlfriend/boyfriend.”

“Can you stop playing connect the dots with my freckles?”

“You snuck into my room, at 4am..to cuddle?”

“If we get caught i’m blaming you.”

“What? No! I wasn’t staring..i-i was looking at something behind you!”

“I locked the keys in the car.”

“This is why we can’t have nice things.”

“Wait a minute. Are you jealous?”

“Define normal.”

“Do i get bonus points if i act like i care?”

“Just remember if we get caught, you’re deaf and i don’t speak english.”

“Don’t look for any redeeming qualities. I don’t have any.”

“And you wonder why you’re single.”

“Remind me to kill you. Please.”

“I’m listening to you. I’m just not paying attention.”

“She’s crazy. and just when you think you’ve reached the bottom of her craziness, theres a crazy underground garage.”

“Sorry. I don’t speak skank.”

“My middle finger salutes you.”

“I don’t think i could ever stab someone. I mean, lets be honest, i can barely get the straw in the capri sun.”

“I don’t have enough middle fingers to let you know how i feel.”

“Somebodys cranky.” “Somebody needs to shut up.”

“All due respect but thats a bunch of crap.”

“I am one of the few people in the world who can murder you and leave no forensic evidence behind.”

“Excuse me. I have to go make a scene.”

“What did i tell you about calling him/her the devil?” “That it’s offensive to the devil?”

“I heard that!” “You were supposed to!”

“I’m not weird. I’m limited edition.”

“If history repeats itself, i am so getting a dinosaur.”

“You seem somewhat familiar. have i threatened you before?”

“Even when we were kids, i always kicked your ass!”

“Sarcasm is the body’s natural reaction to stupidity.”

“Don’t look in her eyes, she might steal your soul.”

“She’s hot, but she’s evil.”

“Do i regret it? Yes. Would i do it again? Probably.”

“You’re going to burn in a very special level in hell. A level they reserve for child molesters, animal abusers, and people who talk at the theater.”

“I’m not a damsel in distress. i’m a damsel doing damage.”

“Sometimes i question my sanity. Occasionally it replies.”

“Why should we date?” “Because we’re attracted to each other.” “I am attracted to pie, but i do not feel the need to date pie.”

“Why does everyone assume the worst of me.” “It saves time.”

“You’ve successfully cured him/her of anything interesting about his/her personality.”

“Neither one of us is drunk enough for this conversation.”

“Wow somebody needs a happy meal.”

“I didn’t do it!” “Then why are you laughing?” “Because whoever did it is a freaking genius.”

“Idiots. I’m surrounded by idiots.”

“You couldn’t handle me even if i came with instructions.”

“Obviously you have mistaken me for somebody who gives a shit.”

“I’m so glad you could come.” “Cut the crap. give me a drink.”

“Where have you been all my life?” “Hiding from you.”

“I can tell that you think what you’re saying is funny, but…no.”

“If you pull out my earphones, i will pull out your lungs.”

“Ah, he’s playing hard-to-get. thats cute.”

“I feel like a freakin’ soccer mom.”

“My ex? Yeah id still hit that. Except this time it would be with a car or a baseball bat.”

“Such big evil in such a little thing.”

“For the love of fuck.” “Yep, thats me. i love to fuck.”

“Are you ready to go?” “Yeah. let me grab my machete.” “We’re going to sephora. no machetes needed.”

Clears throat seriously, “Yas bitch.”

“No road trip is complete without the snacks. So go in there and buy everything you can fit in a tiny cart.”

“I’m all for making you miserable by being insufferable, but unfortunately i have things to do today.”

“Come on, you can help me make conspiracy theories. If you make an especially good one, ill pay for dinner.”

“You know what? Why not? I haven’t ruined my life yet this week. Lets go.”

“Do these dark circles under my eyes say nothing to you about how i am doing?”

“If i didn’t know you better, id say you were trying to flirt by giving me books.”

“What are you talking about? Im hilarious!”

“Duct tape? Duct tape is not going to fix this!”

“What did you think? That you were going to fight him?”

“You’re blocking the view.” “I am the view.”

“Why are you on the floor?” “Tying my shoe.” “You’re wearing rain-boots.”

“Cant stop me from slaying!”

“Close your eyes and imagine it, all the dogs in the world.”

“Be careful, he’s so sweet you might get diabetes.”

“Would you reconsider if i was sober?”

“Stop running i’m wearing flip flops!”

“Why are you holding your boobs?”

“I wouldn’t call it stalking, more like far distance admiring.”

“You need to stop making her laugh! you’re ruining her makeup!”

“I’m sure i can get some kind of sexual gratification from just staring at him if i try hard enough.”

“I’m not sure if its a sexual thing or not.”

“I’m either in the mood for french fries or to rip someone’s head off. Hmmm. decisions, decisions.”

“If you’re not out of the shower in the next five minutes, i’m going to cut your fucking hair off to make your life quicker.”

“No, i will not dress up as a chicken.”

“I never told my extended family that we broke up, and now they want to know when you’re coming over for dinner again.”

“I need a date to my relatives wedding, and i’ve already asked literally everyone else i know, so i know you probably hate me, but please say yes. Otherwise they’ll try to set me up with someone, and they have awful taste.”

“One more sound and i swear to-”

“Sometimes when (name) texts me, i just pretend they didn’t so i don’t have to respond.”

“You gave our pigeon boyfriend the wrong beans!”

“If i’m like 50 and still single, ill marry you because tax benefits.”

“Please, never have children.”

“I know its like 11pm, but i’m on my way to your house with nacho fries.”

“Sometimes i wish i was gay so i wouldn’t have to deal with all these dumbass boys.

“You know, would’ve been nice if you told me your whole ass family was coming to this dinner! I look like a troll.”

“Im going to the party to pet the dog, no thanks drugs.”

“I hope in college i get some excuse to deck him. Maybe with a bottle or something, ill wing it and be like “oops, sorry shithead, my hand slipped.”

“What is this shit…i’m just trying to graduate.”

“Ooo, i sense attitude in your tone.”

“Guess who only got two hours of sleep? Me, lol, i’m gonna die.“

“I’m gonna strangle you.” “Is that a threat or a promise?”

“Superheroes aren’t allowed in my house, especially after they’ve destroyed my living room. go away.”

“oh you’re coming. even if i have to drag you through the snow in your pajamas.”

“i swear you’re gonna end up getting like botox in your tits or something.” “well i mean-” “whAT DO YOU MEAN?!”

[love-sapphirerose]

Yashahime: Princess Half-Demon Episode 24

https://www.animenewsnetwork.com/review/yashahime-princess-half-demon/episode-24/.170860

Look, there was never even the slightest chance that Yashahime's 24th episode would end up functioning as a proper series finale. I knew that. You knew that. We all knew that. Over the last six months, Yashahime has rambled, meandered, bungled, and straight tumbled ass-over-elbows in its vain attempts at telling a coherent and engaging story, but never has it managed to establish so much plot and character motivation that anyone would mistakenly think that it would be a one-and-done. I was a fool for ever dreaming of a world where Yashahime might have the decency to end here and now. Still, you can't blame a guy for hoping right?

Except, we've also learned what happens to hope when Yashahime comes calling, haven't we?

In a certain sense, you'd think a part of me would be happy to find out that “Sesshomaru's Daughter” was never meant to function as a complete conclusion to this story, because that could only mean that this season finale has less responsibilities to juggle, in the long run. In spite of every attempt on Yashahime's part to sabotage itself, that last couple of episodes managed to lay the groundwork for something that at least kind of resembles a conflict for this final chapter of the season: Zero has been revived by Sesshomaru's Tenseiga, and now she's got some Rainbow Pearl-fueled demonic wrath to bring down on our heroines; Kirinmaru has also descended from the sky to do…something, which can only mean double trouble for the girls!

Haha, no. That would be far too reasonable a direction to take the story, so instead Yashahime decides to spit right in its audience's face with more of The Usual Yashahime Bullshit™, starting mere seconds after Sesshomaru revives Zero with the Tenseiga. For some reason, Sesshomaru reveals that he is no longer concerned about her mortal link with Rin, and vows to do…something to her that involves a thorough stabbing. The logical assumption is that he wants to kill her, but that makes a negative amount of sense given that she was literally just dead, so I'm just going to pretend that Yashahime is trying to trick us, and that Sesshomaru's plans are more complicated than that. Is there even a scrap of proof to that effect? Hell no, but we're only a couple of minutes into this thing, and our collective sanity can only withstand so much of this malarkey.

Meanwhile, in Spooky Tree World: Jaken notices that Rin is crying. Later on, he manages to hitch a ride with Totosai and his cow thing, claiming that he needs to fix Rin's sadness. How does he plan on doing this? What purpose does this mission serve? I sure as hell don't know, and it never comes up again. Next scene.

Before Zero has the chance to do a single thing with her twice-recovered Rainbow Pearls, Kirinmaru lashes out and magically poofs them out across the corners of the land. Yes, after spending an entire season building up the Rainbow Pearls as the ultimate artifacts of unlimited power or whatever, they served no purpose whatsoever before the script re-scattered them like the knockoff Shikon Jewels they've always been. The most reaction that anyone musters is when Moroha says, "Oh damn. There they go." Cool, show. Cool.

As for Zero? She disowns her brother and then magically yeets herself away by thwipping her spider-web onto the thin air. Then, Riku stabs Kirinmaru, which does absolutely nothing, before he flicks his little earring and poofs away too. Then , Sesshomaru goes after Zero and explains that Kirinmaru should fight his daughters as a “rite of courage and cowardice.” He then also just zips off into the sky. No, we never see Zero or Riku again. Their entire involvement in this scheme was – you guessed it – absolutely pointless!

Around this point in the episode is where you might be asking: “Wait a minute. Why does Kirinmaru tell the girls he would have let them run away if they asked? Why does he seem concerned over Sesshomaru abandoning his children? Why did he turn on his sister; does he still want to kill the girls because of that one prophecy about getting murdered by a half-demon? What does any of this have to do with the big evil comet that is going to strike the Earth in the future?” Oh, you sweet summer child. Yashahime doesn't give a shit about your questions! And no, before you even think about it again, the future comet and the Mr. Kirin subplot are not ever mentioned again, either.

With all of that out of the way, the only thing left is the big showdown between Kirinmaru and the three girls, all of whom decide to stay and fight the guy who has already handily kicked their asses without so much as breaking a sweat because…they think he's lying about being strong? And Setsuna doesn't want to back down from the rite of passage she only just learned about thirty seconds beforehand? Sure. Fine. Let's go with that. Who cares?

Now, I do want to say at least one nice thing about this episode. Even though most of the episode looks embarrassingly sloppy and rushed, the visuals really turn themselves around for this last fight, especially right at the beginning. Each of the three girls gets a delightfully-animated action cut to show off their moves, and kudos to the artists in charge of those sequences. If anything, the sequence might look a little too good, as it clashes mightily with the butt-ugly visuals that the show usually sports and serves as a bittersweet reminder of the series that Yashahime could have been.

There. That was technically a compliment, right? I hope so, because the pretty visuals can't save the back-half of "Sesshomaru's Daughter" from being almost awe-inspiring in its lameness. For one, fricking Moroha just gets whooshed out of the fight after landing maybe one or two hits. Again. Then, in order to deprive us of even the barest shred of dramatic tension, Kirinmaru loudly announces that he is going to threaten Setsuna's life in order to draw out Towa's latent power. Unsurprisingly, this leads to him murdering the hell out of Setsuna after she nicks his cheek with that Blood Blade of hers. Or rather, he slashes her from her heels to her head with his magic blade thingy, and then she falls down perfectly intact, and slowly slips away into her first “sleep” in years. Do you get it? Because Dream Butterfly.

One final almost-good thing happens when Moroha comes back with her Beniyasha face on, and she finally gets to help Towa land a major blow against Kirinmaru (it sure is a good thing that nobody ever pointlessly sacrificed their life to try and teach Moroha about the dangers of using her incredibly useful Beniyasha powers, right?). For her part, the raged-out Towa gets her own demony glow-up, and she ends up looking like a little silver-haired Super Saiyan 3 (Super Sesshy 3?). Two giant super-power blasts later, and…a slightly winded Kirinmaru admits his respect for Towa, and then flies away of his own volition. Then Sesshomaru comes back from wherever he was and offers his broken Tenseiga to Towa to help bring Setsuna back to life, finally winning that Father of the Year award he has been vying for all this time.

That's it. No, seriously, that's the end of the season. No mention of Kagome or Inuyasha whatsoever, no clues as to what any of the villains' true motivations are; we don't even get a proper explanation for whatever the hell an “Aruku's Pinwheel” is! Instead, Yashahime's first season ended as we all should have expected it would: As a slow-motion train wreck of gobsmackingly stupid writing, lame action, and a veritable mountain of wasted potential. So sure, maybe some of the series' gravest failings can get ironed out in another year or two. Lord knows that I would be ecstatic to learn that future iterations of this show ended up being halfway decent.

However, that would never change the fact that this first season was one of the most exhausting, frustrating, and disappointing anime that I've ever seen. So, with no small amount of relief, I bid adieu to our three half-demon princesses. I wish I could say that I'll miss you, but I most definitely will not. Except maybe for Moroha, who always has and always will deserve better than Yashahime. For the rest of the knuckleheads that have been leeching away at our time and our patience these last six months, there is only one rating they could ever deserve...

[rhabakoli]

“I will ruin you, all you will be able to think about is me.” for Geralt & Jaskier pls?

Big thanks to @riviawitch3r for being such an amazing beta, thank you sooo much.

have fun, y’all.

**

Geralt was seething. The tavern was loud and full, patrons stacked to the roof, all coming to see the mighty White wolf. But being ogled wasn’t why Geralt was desperately trying to hold on to his sanity.

No.

It was that fucking bard.

That one bard, that had not only wormed his way through Geralt’s walls and didn’t take any of his moods seriously, but also managed to aggravate him by simply not being next to him, by his side. Which, is a yet unexplained phenomenon, as Geralt didn’t want anyone’s attention. He didn’t need anyone, and he was glad no one needed him.

No one, but that fucking bard. He turned everything around and now his skin itched and his fingers wanted to tousle his hair and find out if it was as soft as it looked. Geralt had whole dreams about his eyes, those deep blue seas that always seemed to see right through him. 

That fucking bard, who was currently leaning against the bar, ale in one hand, grinning at the people around him, laughing with them. Enticing them, luring them, getting their fucking attention. Geralt’s blood was well on its way to boiling. How could Jaskier ignore him? He wanted to be the only one the bard looked at, ever. Not the blonde guy next to him whose hand smoothed down his arm nor the dark haired woman on his other side who looked at his bard as if he was prey. 

How could he do that, how could Geralt accept the scene playing out in front of his eyes? Letting them touch him, their hands all over him, their eyes raking down his lithe body, hungry and lusting, their intentions clear as day and filthy as the dark alleys of this godforsaken town. It didn’t matter if it was a man or woman, Jaskier had them all in his pocket. And they loved to be there. At least until the first glamour wore off.

But that’s only where his best traits began. Jaskier was smart, kind, compassionate, and so soft. He was all Geralt wasn’t, kept all his best traits hidden from the world - and Geralt wanted to lay him open, strip him bare in every way possible. Wanted to learn his body and his soul, with his fingers, his lips, his cock. Geralt groaned at the thought of the small bard writhing on him, moaning and screaming. His voice had captured Geralt’s attention long before he was aware. He’d dreamt of it. He’d fantasized about the noises he could lure out of Jaskier, if the young man just let him. Had dreamt about how he’d take him, make him sing for his ears only. 

His brain delivered the fitting pictures, and his sanity snapped like a twig in a storm. 

**

Jaskier was enjoying himself and the attention he got – something he felt his travel companion failed to give him -, when a hand grabbed his coat and pulled. He lost his balance, tumbled back and sloshed ale everywhere; his adoring fans right in the middle of it.

Oh. Great.

The two of them looked pissed, ready to throw fists, when Jaskier realized who exactly had pulled him away. That was the exact moment his face drained of all blood and he gave them a tiny, nervous smile. He really hoped they wouldn’t start a fight; this wouldn’t end well and this tavern was one of those that actually served good ale and passable food. Would be a shame to get banned.

So he glanced at Geralt, whose hand was still fisted in the material of his jacket and – oh god. His eyes were aflame. There was no other way to call it. It was terrifying and so was the clench of his jaw and the flare of his nostrils. It looked like he was sniffing them out – well, if he did, he just had gotten a good whiff of Jaskiers nervous arousal.

“Move.”

Jaskier didn’t even try to suppress the shiver that ran through him at the gravelly voice; it was futile, really.

The bard had just barely gotten his feet to obey, when another hand shot out and grabbed his arm. Both Jaskier and Geralt looked down, heads snapping, eyes widening. But while Jaskier was astounded at such idiocy, Geralt was short of pulling out a weapon and cleaving that dude into the floor.

“Hey, we aren’t done having fun yet!”

Geralt took a step forward, his size and height intimidating on their own, but paired with the eyes and the hair and the reputation – Jaskier hadn’t seen him like this, ever before. This was whole new level of fury, of anger, the emotions radiating off him, broadcasting his intentions, if that fucker didn’t back off. Geralt was feral and Jaskier was trying not to piss himself. He wasn’t even target of Geralt’s anger. At least he thought so.

“Let. Go.”

“I think the little bard can speak for himself.”

There was a growl vibrating deep in the witcher’s chest, his free hand curled into a fist, the hand on Jaskiers back shifted to his neck; almost a possessive display? Jaskier wasn’t sure, but he also didn’t get to intervene or think about it any longer.

Geralt had had enough. With an ugly snarl, he took another step forward, shielded Jaskier and rammed his elbow into the other guys arm, broke the hold he had on the bard and then, no hesitation, let his fist collide with his jaw.

By the time the stranger had hit the floor, Geralt had grabbed Jaskier by the back of his neck again, and left the tavern.

**

“What were you thinking?”

Jaskier wanted to answer but he was too busy trying not to fall on his face, as he stumbled through the dark.

“Didn’t you notice they were trying to get to you?”

“Of course I did, I’m not stupid.”, he mumbled. And then he squeaked, as his body collided with a tree; Geralt shoving his back against it, to be able to face him.

“Please repeat that, I think I misheard.” 

While Jaskier knew Geralt wouldn’t hurt him - beyond the occasional punch he probably deserved anyway - the look on his face and the pure fury in his voice had him worried.

“I’d rather not.”

Geralt was right in his face, the hand on his chest holding him in place.

“Did you not think of what could happen to you?” 

Jaskier snorted. “Oh, trust me, I did.”

He licked his lips, manic smile stretching his face. Something in him had snapped. What did he care? Wasn’t like it affected him in any way. “Who told you I didn’t want it?” 

Geralt reared back, quick enough to make the Bard flinch. His chest was heaving, his hands in fists at his side. With a grunt he turned on his heels, stomped away. Jaskier was breathing hard just the same, but didn’t really know if it was arousal, anger or fear. Maybe it was a bit of everything. His hand rubbed over the spot were Geralt has held him, his eyes on the floor. Of course he’d be disgusted. The bard knew that. Why did it still hurt then? 

“No.” 

Huh? Jaskier looked up, just in time to see Geralt descending upon him like a wild animal. Then there was lips on his, heat, slickness, a tongue teasing him. Hands were on his body, running down his sides, squeezing when they found his waist, moving to the small of his back and his cheek, to haul him closer. Geralt’s voice was like a thunderstorm – captivating, gravelly, electrifying, absolutely wild.

“No. You don’t get to do that.” 

The hand on his back was sneaking down, grabbed his bum and pulled groans from both of them. 

“You don’t get to come into my life, make me care about you, protect you,-“ a vicious nip to his lips, then his head was moved, turned to the side so Geralt could easily access his neck; continue his assault there. 

“Fucking burrow your way into my brain, heart-“

Hips rolled against his, dick against dick. Jaskier thought he was dying. What in the world?

“-into my fucking dreams.” 

Geralt pulled back, eyed Jaskiers clothes. With a grunt he reached for the jacket, pulled it off his bard and then there were hands on hips, fingers dipping into breeches and Jaskier thought he was gonna pass out. Maybe, just maybe, Geralt wasn’t exactly as disgusted as he’d first thought.

All the while, Geralt was groaning and moaning directly into his ear, with that fucking voice of his. 

“You don’t get to.” 

Geralt whirled Jaskier around, pressed a hand between his shoulder blades to make him bend at the waist.

“Brace yourself.”

 If Jasker hadn’t popped a boner the very second his back had hit the tree, he would now, at the latest. He liked being manhandled by Geralt, the big bad witcher showing him so obviously, so blatantly, that he did care. That he did feel something for Jaskier. 

So he followed his lead. Hands against the three, head low to watch the witcher’s legs, ogle those delicious goddamn thighs all he wanted. If he also arched his back and shoved his ass back into Geralt’s grip – who could blame him?

A groan, from behind him. A hand gliding from the back of his thigh up, dipping between his legs, just for a second. Hot breaths against his neck, a hotter body aligned with his own, blood rushing in his ears. 

“Look at you.” A smack, then a bite at his shoulder, a soothing lick. Jaskier’s buttcheek stung, but he loved it. He was getting goddamn giddy with excitement, giddy at the possibility of Geralt being serious about this. And if not - he’ll get a couple good fucking orgasms out of this. He ignored how his insides churned at that, ignored the sting at the thought. He preferred to be in the here and now, enjoy whatever Geralt was ready to give.

Said man was pressed along the line of his body, hips nestled against his ass in a way that made the bard wish he was naked and ready, and possibly equipped with the ability to stop time forever.

The hands were wandering again. Up his legs, over his hips, slipping underneath his untucked shirt- Jaskier let out a breathy moan, let his hips move against the broad man currently driving him crazy. His nails scratched, fingers tippity-tapped, and then Geralt kissed right behind his ear and pinched his nipples. Which almost made Jaskiers knees buckle – fucking hell. 

“You’re so infuriating. So fucking annoying, with your big pretty eyes, and those fucking lips.” 

His right hand came up, wrapped around the bards throat, the thumb found his lips.

“So fucking soft, I bet they’ll feel great wrapped around my cock.” 

Lips were brushing the shell of his ear as the witcher continued: “I know they’ll look fucking divine.”

Jaskier couldn’t hold back. He wouldn’t. “Geralt, please-“ 

“Shut up.”

The harsh, commanding tone had him weak, his dick twitching in his pants. The hand around his neck squeezed and then shifted, enough to grab Jaskier’s jaw - fuck, how huge were his hands? - and turn his head. Geralt captured his lips in a bruising kiss, noses bumping, neck straining but, oh royal fuck, this was Jaskier’s personal heavenly hell. 

The hips pressed into his ass rolled, Geralt’s dick nestled against Jaskier’s ass – he could feel the size of him and holy fuck. 

Geralt broke the kiss to bite his lower lip, then nip at his jaw and breathe a moan against his skin. 

“Please.” Jaskier was out of his mind. He’d lost all orientation, body and mind hyperfocused on the bulking figure pressed against him, the man playing him like his favourite instrument. He loved it, loved how good it made him feel, how wanted, desired, cherished. 

Geralt’s hand came back around his throat, the weight of it heady and promising. It was a total show of dominance and strength, and it warmed the bard from the inside out, burnt him, until he was begging for Geralt like a man dying.

“Please, Geralt, please.”

A growl, low enough for the bard to feel it.

“You want to say something?” 

Geralt’s free hand undid the laces on the bards breeches, then found its way into them and cupped Jaskiers dick. “You want to be loud?” 

The bard whimpered, pressed his eyes closed, completely lost in the sensations. “You want to sing?”

A hard tug, a bite to his neck, then Geralt’s lips against his ear. He sounded like a man driven mad, anger mixed with frustration, desire and the need to claim Jaskier, mark him as his and make sure the bard knew it. 

“I will make you fucking sing. You will be so sore tomorrow, you’ll beg for some relief. You won’t be able to perform for a week, when I’m done with you.”

Jaskier was shivering now. He was barely able to stand, not with the heady mix of a rough hand in his pants and rougher voice in his ear, hot breath on his skin and hotter body against his. It was too much. It was too much and still he wanted more. He wanted this borderline feral man to take him and never let go again. 

“When I’m done with you, you will be just as lost as me.”

Geralt huffed out a laugh, humourless and gave a sharp thrust against Jaskiers ass. 

“When I’m done with you, you won’t know your own name. You will be mine, and no one will dare to ever touch you again.”

Jaskier’s eyes were rolling back, his dick straining against Geralt’s big, calloused hand. He was dripping precum, made a mess of his breeches. Geralt tutted at his whimper, bit the shell of his ear, lowered his voice to a lethal whisper.

“I will ruin you, all you will be able to think about is me. You. Are. Mine.” 

[xxbyimm]

The knight and the princess - Fíli x reader - Modern AU

Link to my Masterlist.

This was a prompt I originally received from @saviorsong​ yesterday: next-door neighbor trope with the line ‘That won’t work, Try again’. As I wrote down most of this in bed last night, this piece expanded from a short drabble into a short fic of more or less 1500 words. I don’t know what happened and I don’t regret it. As I try to be less brutal about the level of perfection my work has to achieve to be worthy, I try to NOT edit my oneshots endlessly. So bear with me on that, and I hope y’all enjoy.

The knight and the princess - Fíli x Reader

Summary: Friday night. The reader tries to set up her new surround sound system, but it turns out to be harder than expected. Luckily friday night also means her favorite next-door neighbor comes over. MODERN AU.

Warnings: Fluff, bit of cursing.

Taglist: @soradragon​ @pistachiozombie​ @legolaslovely​ @tomisbaeholland​ @swoopswishsward​ @fizzyxcustard​ @deepestfirefun​ @ruthoakenshield​ @mariannetora​ @thequeenoferebor​  If you don’t wish to be tagged anymore, please let me know! Or if you’re not on the list and want to be tagged: check out my lists and I’d like to hear which list you want in on!

It shouldn’t be this hard. Literally anyone could do it. At least, that was what the people at the store had told you. And the delivery girl. Even the helpdesk guy had told you the same, though he even had the nerves to inquire ‘if you had read the instruction manual’.

Of course you did! You weren’t stupid, you were an grown-ass woman -damn it- and you could take care of yourself.

‘It’s not hard, ma’am.’ The guy repeated for the zillionth time. ‘Just put the red cable-’ ‘And I told you there is NO RED CABLE!’ you hissed back, exasperated by the fact that this person refused to listen. ‘There has to be.’ He mumbled. ‘Because otherwise you won’t be able to connect the tv with the left box.’ ’Okay, you know what…’ you grumbled. ‘I think this doesn’t get me any further than it already did.’ ‘But have you checked the package the system came in?’ You let out a strangled groan. ‘Of course I checked it!’ ‘You sure?’ the guy pressed. ‘Because more than often, our clients-’

You ended the call, just before you would have battered those poor worker’s ears with the most vile curses in the English vocabulary. It wasn’t his fault, you knew that. He probably had to stick to a protocol anyway and you were too impatient to follow such bureaucratic nonsense. But still, he wasn’t the proud owner of a surround sound system that was nowhere to near to be connected with the rest of your setup.

You heaved a sigh and eyed the chaos around you. There were cables everywhere and the manual lay crumpled on the couch. Six sound boxes were scattered across the room, waiting patiently to be put in their new place. Oh, and you weren’t even talking about all of the packaging it had arrived in! Ugh. You were ready to give up, even if it meant you couldn’t enjoy your favorite movie with some proper sound effects tonight. Whatever that meant anyway. This hadn’t been your idea.

Defeated, you strolled towards the kitchen. The least you could do, was reward yourself with a glass of wine. You opened the fridge and nearly jumped when someone knocked on the kitchen window. When you quickly turned your head to see who was disturbing you, your eyes met the dreamy blue ones of your next-door neighbor, Fíli. He was holding a bottle of wine and winked at you. His golden locks radiated in the sun and for a moment, you once again appreciated how handsome the bastard was. He obviously liked to take care of himself, as his blonde, shoulder length hair was almost more soft than yours and his beard was trimmed into perfection. Normally you weren’t into mustache braids, but the way this guy sported those made your legs weak. Fíli was wearing a simple, blue t-shirt with a V-neck that showed off some of his chest hair. You sincerely hoped that he had not paired it with his favorite jeans, because otherwise you’d spent all night gawking that fine ass.

‘Hey, Y/N!’ Fíli called, his eyes twinkling mischievously. ‘You’re going to let me stand here all night?’ You smiled and moved to the door to let him in. Because of all the hassle, you almost had forgotten it was Friday night. A few months ago, when you were new in this neighborhood, Fíli had swung by to say hello. In hindsight, you had lost your heart that night on your doorstep, though you had denied it for months after. It wasn’t a coincidence that the two of you had developed a habit of spending Friday nights together, since both of you highly enjoyed each other’s company over going out in search of love. In addition, Fíli was one hell of a chef in his spare time.

‘How are you faring, love?’ Fíli inquired while kissing your cheek. ‘How was work?’ ‘Ah. It was fine.’ You replied, closing the fridge and reaching for your fancy wine glasses in the cabinet. ‘My boss was a total pain in the ass, though that’s nothing new.’ Fíli smirked. ‘What’s the old toad up to now?’ A giggle escaped you and you shot him a glance. ‘You know you can’t call her that! What if I say that while at work? She will have my head!’ ‘Ah, but then all you have to do is to call upon your knight to save you.’ He told you while opening the bottle and pouring some wine. ‘I have a knight?’ you wondered. ‘Why hasn’t he informed me yet? I would spare me loads of trouble.’ Fíli shrugged, his eyes flashing briefly over your face. ‘Maybe he’s been a coward and doesn’t know how to show it’s him.’ ‘Selfish bastard.’ You muttered, too engrossed in the red liquid pouring into your glass to notice. ‘Anyway, no matter. I don’t need a knight.’ ‘Not even in shiny armor?’ ‘No.’ You groaned. The last guy you had gone on a date with a few months ago, had those ridiculous old-fashioned standards that you possibly couldn’t and wouldn’t meet. Naturally, the date had been a disaster when you straight up told him you refused to settle for a ‘woman’s place is in the kitchen’ kind of relationship.

Fíli took a sip and leaned against the counter. ‘I don’t get why the women get the knights, and us men have to settle for the princesses.’ ‘You want a knight, eh?’ you grinned, grateful for the fact that your friend hadn’t noticed you mentally had visited the dreadful topic of your dating life. ‘Exactly.’ He nodded vigorously. ‘Someone who can battle dragons, command legions.’ ‘And take over the world?’ you filled in. ‘Bend every civilization to your will?’ Fíli laughed and lazily moved towards the living room. His blue eyes burned through yours and you bit your lip. ‘Those are your words, milady, not mine.’ He purred as he disappeared in the hallway.

You winced when you discovered that he was, in fact, wearing his (and your) favorite pair of jeans. Damn that fine ass!

‘I said I wanted a knight.’ Fíli went on, obliviously to your appreciative glances. ‘A knight, Y/N, not a- Mahal’s hairy balls! What happened here?’

Oh Mahal’s hairy balls indeed. You had forgotten about the ground zero in your living room. You turned the corner. Fíli was eyeing the chaos with an amused smirk. ‘Is that the surround sound system I recommended to you?’ he asked. ‘Yeah.’ You said. ‘But I wasn’t finished just yet. I merely went to the kitchen to get myself some wine.’ ‘Finished with what?!’ Fíli grinned. ‘Wreaking havoc?’ ‘Oh, you ass! I was getting there!’ ‘Yeah?’ Fíli gestured at the pile of cables on the carpet. ‘That won’t work. Try again.’ ‘Hmmm.’ You mused while draining your wine in one go and putting the glass aside. ‘If I do that, I will lose my sanity. The helpdesk guy said it was easy, but I beg to differ.’ ‘You even called the helpdesk?’ Fíli chuckled as he grabbed the manual from the couch. ‘You must have been quite desperate.’ ‘I wanted to do this by myself!’ you said fiercely. ‘And I know I can, it’s just…’ ‘It’s not that complicated, once you know what to do.’ Fíli told you. ‘Shall I walk you through it?’ You narrowed your eyes. ‘Are you going to make fun of me in the process?’ He laughed. ‘Maybe a little. But in the end you’re a bloody amazing person and I’m sure you can do anything, if you set your mind to it.’ ‘Don’t mock me.’ He shook his head. ‘I’m not. You’re the proverbial whole package, and I don’t mean that in a patronizing way.’ You lifted a brow. ‘Then in what way?’ He took a step closer. His wineglass still holding in one hand, he gently stroked your cheek with the other. A fond smile was displayed on his face. ‘In a brilliant, I rather spend my free nights with you than going out, because what I want is right there, way.’ Your cheeks were on fire and you lowered your gaze. Your teeth sunk in your lower lip and slowly turned into a mumbling, flushed mess. ‘What? But I’m-’ ‘Y/N.’ Fíli whispered and a soft thud informed you he put his glass on the floor. You didn’t dare to look up, because you knew this moment would turn out to be a) a dream, or b) a cruel joke. So instead, your gaze was fixed on the carpet.

‘Y/N.’ Two sturdy hands cupped your cheeks and gently tilted your head. A pair of dreamy blue eyes came into view and your heart skipped a beat. ‘You have asked me countless times why I had zero interest in dating.’ Fíli began with a faint smile. ‘Now let me answer that one for you: from the moment we met, I haven’t been interested in any other woman, but you.’ ‘Why didn’t you say so?’ you managed to blurt out. ‘Because you’re quite independent.’ Fíli confessed. ‘And it’s one of the things I like that about you.’ ‘Independent doesn’t mean-’ ‘I know that.’ He told you. ‘But I wanted to make sure that you and I match in all the right ways, rather dragging out our worst qualities like some couples tend to do.’ ‘Oh Fíli… Why would you think that?’ ‘I just...’ He heaved a sigh. ‘Fell in love with the wrong person one time, I suppose. After that you get careful.’ You pulled him against you and placed a gentle kiss on his jaw. ‘Sounds like you’re in need of a knight.’ Fíli chuckled. ‘And a damn brave one, I daresay.’ ‘That settles it. I am forever in your service, good sir.’ You grinned. ‘Do you happen to know a princess with technical proficiency?’ Fíli laughed and you reveled in the sound. ‘Oh, Y/N.’ he murmured, his lips ghosting over yours.

And then he kissed you.

Thank you so much for reading my humble story. Feedback is always welcome.  Did you like my work? Spread the love and reblog! :) And here’s my Masterlist.

[puppypeter]

Bringing you all a sad ass fic rec this fine Thursday... prepare the tissues!!🥺These are all Peter-centric (some could be in an irondad list too tbh), but the focus is Pete going through some shit cause apparently I like reading about my fave suffering 😞 Please please remeber to READ THE TAGS/TW!!! (There’s quite a few Skip fics). 

PS: do not link any of these fics to the actors or anyone associated with them. Fics are from the fans for the fans, and they should stay within the fandom!

I’d say happy reading! but....

Countdown | Teen & Up | 26741 words

When May gets a new boyfriend, Peter is glad for her. But nothing can ever go that well for Peter. At first Peter thinks maybe he just doesn't like him. But then it gets worse. And Peter just wants May to be happy, at any cost.

or

The classic 'May's boyfriend abuses Peter' trope.

Will you let me, lead you even when your blind? | General Audiences | 3526 words

It all started as a normal day, a normal patrol. It was simple. It was something he had done at least a million times. Stupid bad guys.

Or

Peter goes blind after a problem on petrol and the chaos that follows.

what is stronger than the human heart which shatters over and over and still lives | Mature | 6977 words

Whumptober Day Sixteen - Pinned Down

Nothing matters. He can’t breathe, can’t sleep, can’t eat. He’s an empty shell of broken fragments, whatever’s left of himself.

He’s nothing.

Vacant eyes and a blank expression, pliant limbs and empty words.

He’s gone.

All because of Thomas.

All the pretty pictures in my head are faded | Teen & Up | 1770 words

Whumptober Day Seven - Isolation

Everything was lost in the fire.

Peter’s suit, all of Peter’s belongings, everything of May’s, everything that used to belong to Ben.

May.

Peter lost everything that day.

Your heart will lead you home | Teen & Up | 4591 words

Whumptober Day Fourteen - Tear-Stained

He hates fighting with Tony. He hates the disappointment on his face. He hates the sadness and the pain, hates the way he called this his home and not the cabin. Hates how he left without saying goodbye. Hates the lack of closure. Hates himself more than he normally does.

He hates the insecurities that crawl through his head like vines, entangling him in the thoughts of alienation. Of Unbelonging. Hates the anxiety like acid, like a rope around his neck cutting off his breathing. Hates the desperation to call Tony, to ask him to come back, to ask him to wrap in a hug and take care of him and the thoughts in his head, to convince his head that it’s wrong.

Everything. He hates everything.

But he doesn’t bother trying to fix it. He simply pulls the blanket over his head and wishes the world away.

hold on, i still need you | Teen & Up | 1797 words

He looked about as messy as he felt. A mess of probably greasy hair from having gone one too many days without a shower, strands of hair in every direction. Pimples on a pale face like mountains on a landscape. Picked at scabs leaving marks of dried blood. Dark circles beneath his eyes like someone has stepped all over him, leaving behind dark shoeprints and sunken skin. An emptiness behind dark eyes like an abyss hiding too much underneath for someone so young.

Post-Endgame and Peter's struggling to deal. Morgan can't lose her older brother.

Hitting Every Red Light | Not Rated | 12776 words

Happy Hogan does a lot of annoying stuff for Tony Stark, including driving an annoying spider kid places. But when Peter stops talking so much, Happy starts to think maybe he enjoyed the talkative kid’s company after all. Or A whump story about Peter crying a lot after being punished by Nick Fury for messing up on a mission. Peter feels lots of guilt for messing up, and he fears his favorite mentor will be disappointed. Luckily Happy is there to help.

You wouldn’t understand | Teen & Up | 2926 words > Read the tags!

‘Come on Einstein, it’ll be fun!’ Peter hears echoing through his head as he stares at the familiar face in front of him.

The pale blue eyes that are looking back at him make Peter feel nauseous. He feels his body moving, all but stumbling backwards towards the exit. His vision goes blurry, and all he can hear is the pounding of his own heart thudding in his ears.

Appearances can be deceiving | Not Rated | 3269 words > Read the tags!

Alternate ending to 'You wouldn't understand'.

Peter's doing what he does best - saving people - when one of the people who needs saving is his childhood rapist.

If reality were a nightmare | Not Rated | 4334 words > Read the tags!

When people say sleep paralysis is one of the worst things a person can experience - they aren’t lying.

Peter Parker is no stranger to sleep paralysis.

Except this time, for Peter, it isn’t a dream. This isn’t something he’s going to wake up from in a cold sweat trying to catch his breath.

Repeating the past | Not Rated | 5584 words > Read the tags!

“Why me?” Peter asked, pulling back to look at Tony with red rimmed eyes. “Why do bad things always happen to me?”

Tony pulled Peter tighter against him, never wanting to let go. “I wish I knew, Pete.” Tony admitted. “You don’t deserve this.”

Green Turning Purple | General Audiences | 6239 words

Peter knows he can't fight back with his powers. So he doesn't. He lets whatever he's "earned" come at him. This time is a fucking bat.

Suit of Armor | Mature | 18230 words > Read the tags!

Peter Parker finally had a friend...

...but Skip Wescott was no such thing.

OR:

Peter deals with being a survivor post Skip Wescott. (Based on the PSA comic released by Marvel)

When You Hand By A Thread of Sanity | Not Rated | 87355 words > Read the tags!

Peter Parker has a good life. He has an Aunt that loves him more than anything and now a father-figure, Tony Stark, who would do anything to protect him. Despite losing his parents and his Uncle at such a young age, Peter’s life is good. But will all that change when a teacher at Peter’s school decides to take advantage of him in the worst way.

The New Normal | General Audiences | 24854 words

Life has a tendency to throw curveballs, and this one that's thrown at Peter Parker is one that he and his family never, ever expected.

Some curveballs are temporary, ones that are thrown to make life "interesting" and keep people on their toes.

But some are permanent...and the only thing left to do is adjust, regroup, and move on.

Move on with the new normal.

Don’t Leave Me Now | Teen & Up | 26524 words

Peter wakes up to white noise, static, a weight in his head that makes him feel like he'll never stand up straight again. His whole body is a wreck and every breath he takes is full of nails and pain. He can barely move.

Tony's face is the first thing to come into focus. If the blurry outline of him can be called focus.

"Tell me before May gets in here," Tony says, gravely serious. He rests his hand gently on Peter's shoulder. "I'm giving you that chance. What's going on?"

Peter knows he can't hide it anymore. He wants to sigh, but it hurts too much. Everything hurts too much. It shouldn't hurt this much.

"I think I'm losing my powers."

The Third Option | Mature | 220962 words

Homecoming A/U.

Ben and May divorced before Peter’s parents died, so when Ben is murdered Peter goes into foster care. It takes just a tiny taste of superpowers for Peter to decide he doesn’t want to put up with his horrible foster father anymore—the streets are infinitely more appealing. All he wants is to be Spider-Man anyway.

So he leaves.

Simple.

Simple, that is, until Iron Man needs Spider-Man’s help. Peter isn’t about to turn down an opportunity to fight alongside Tony Freaking Stark, but he also isn’t going to let his hero know that his recruit is a fifteen-year-old homeless dropout. So they strike a deal. Peter will help Tony. In return, the mask stays on.

And that’s when things get complicated.

Always Silent, Peter Darling | Mature | 116135 words

After a traumatic experience at age 6, Peter Parker hasn't spoken a word. Most blame it on the fact that he witnessed his Uncle die in a horrible fire, this is only partly true. Now, almost 10 years later Peter is given the chance to finally speak, but will he take it? Or is the fear of his Aunt to much for him to take that chance?

Either way, Tony Stark can tell something's not quite right about the kind hearted May Parker.

Downfall | Mature | 5307 words

Peter is being abused. Tony finds out in the worst way possible.

...more will be added! Feel free to inbox me any suggestions!