#which like. wtf am i supposed to do | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

theloveinc · 11 months

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More professor drama? 👀

yes. and boy did it break. my. heart :) ...

I'm in a math class, right? And it's catered towards non-majors who're just looking to fulfill a specific credit so we don't have to pay to test out. and i'm HELLA bad at math but i really enjoy this class b/c the teacher and TA are so helpful and kind and i'm actually learning etc. etc.

anyway, out of the blue my counselor (who is unrelated to math AT ALL) reaches out to schedule a reflection on the class with the head of my grad department (and would not tell me why)... only to postpone the meeting for two weeks, and THEN TELL ME I'VE BEEN BEHAVING POORLY IN MY CLASS???? not grades related, BEHAVIOR RELATED.

and so i'm fucking like, stunned and confused, i keep asking what i've done, why isn't the actually prof. talking to me, what i need to do, etc. and no one tells me shit until i'm literally SOBBING on this zoom meeting because apparently i'm being punished??

and finally i guess i cry hard enough for them to believe it was all unintentional and i DON'T know what they're talking about, and they fucking. tell me that i've been asking "too many questions" such that the whole class is distracted AND that i've been refusing to work with the TA (which isn't even true?????) ...

which is ridiculous bc the professor himself has NEVER mentioned to me that i ask for help too much, and i've been working with the TA since the beginning of the class???????

so i'm completely fucking blindsided by this bc i genuinely. LOVED. this class, so to find out I'VE BEEN A PROBLEM IS REALLY DEVASTATING.

and i go to email my teacher and ta apologies, just reflecting on like, how sorry i am my behavior came across so poorly and etc. AND ESSENTIALLY THEY JUST CONFIRM THAT I WAS A HUGE PAIN IN THE ASS. like my profs response, deadass, is "how classy of you to parlay.." LIKE WTF?????

and this whole. fucking time. i genuinely had absolutely no clue. NONE.

#and everyone i explain this to tells me it's super wacko that happened #bc either the prof should've told me or the advisors should've warned me #so it was just weird all the way around bc i thought my professor reported that i was scared for my grade #turns out he reported that i take up too much time asking for help with problems #which like. wtf am i supposed to do #and my advisor is like ' well we just want u to use this as a learning experience in case u ever have a student who demands all ur attentio #and im genuinely just like. I WAS BEING HELPED. I WANT TO HELP STUDENTS LIKE THAT. its just so weird that #i thought i was showing gratitude and friendship only for everyone to like. lowkey think im rude ... for asking for help #it's insane... i truly can't figure out if i'm at fault and if i am how can i change???#i dont even want to go to class now #anyway if u read all this... god bless u #but yeesh its a lot #and yea i just ended up sorta crying the rest of the day bc i loved that prof so much and i feel a little betrayed #sigh #caitie answers #anon

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im-still-watching-anime · 2 months

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one piece is crazy fr like what do you mean you’re following up Everyone’s Dead™️ with Objectifying Women: The Arc™️

#bruh :/#im bout to vent cause im mad about it rn sorry #op fans there are many good elements to your series outside of this and i love u sorry im about to talk shit about it #pls abandon ship now and stop reading my tags to avoid if you want #anyway #once i put a certain amount of time into something i usually commit to finishing it #but this arc is like 👌 this close to making me abandon the whole series like wtf is this #i know i KNOW sexist shit is like practically unavoidable in anime but this is a LOT jesus christ #i want to punch a WALL #like wtf do you think women ARE #i want to attack and kill #everyone who has ever told me that naruto is worse than one piece about women owes me 500 dollars rn #like it’s BAD and i would have been mad about this either way #but i think im extra salty because ive had SO many people praise one piece women at me #and i was like doubtful cause ya know LOOK at them #but i LISTENED because everyone was so insistent the women are good and it’s not bad with that kinda thing #which was a BETRAYAL because seriously wtf is this😤#ughhhhh i CANT watch this HOW am i supposed to watch this #why do i have to watch the creepy island of women cluelessly mess with unconscious mans dick trope i canttttttttt #the answer is i DONT have to watch it and i want to STOP #how are yall watching this i still havent even forgiven thriller barks invisible man nami bath scene #like yall i canttttttttt #my ‘fiction that treats women like shit’ tolerance is too low for this #ughhh really at a loss here because so much time already committed and i was enjoying it aside from this #but i really CANNOT keep watching if the bar gets any lower and idk if it even CAN get lower #sorry sorry okay vent over this just #REALLY pissed me off #cause it kinda blindsided me i think

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jrueships · 10 months

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sometimes i'll think abt a Fandom and wish it were bigger, and sometimes i'll read something from a fandom.. and wish it were smaller

#ppl seeing a confident black man : FINALLY! A PERFECT ANTAGONIST FOR OUR STORY!#THE CORRUPTOR!! THE ASSHOLE! MR KNOWS ALL!#i want to be bigger into football. i rlly do #but . omg. sometimes seeing just So Much . side eye shit is . like imagine my exhaustion #and this isnt me trying to be the behavior police like let ppl write but sometimes seeing such. Fun. patterns can be like #idk man it's sad like damn thats rlly how the world is and obvs i KNOW how it can be but it's real wack #real wack being reminded even in ur supposed happy place ur supposed lighthearted little break from the world #it's still not . idk. it's just not #oh the poor pale blond qb just a little anxious baby oh and his evil zany teammates trying to corrupt him oh theyre so terrible for my angel #:/#.. that is. a Grown. Man .#it's like replaying my 2nd grade teacher ******** me bcs i was a troublesome kid and it made her feel young and alive and bad again #like wtf am i corrupting you with maam? skibbity toliet ? leave me alone !!#listen. if it were smthing like 'x rlly likes tomatoes' when he actually likes idk carrots? i would not give a fuck. infact i prefer carrots #but bad patterns have smthing more to say bcs patterns in general have a story #it's more than 'he would not fucking say that' it's 'WHY tf are YOU making HIM say THAT of ALL people & THINGS???'#like i love having asshole characters in my stories too. and they can be poc ! NO ONE is a saint!#but having one just to fuel the only one u actually care abt? having their problems solely be for plot?? & making that one #a SPECIFIC kind of person ?? is kinda giving me 'u dont view x as a human which could mean you dont view x race as humans'#WHICH IS !! IT SUCKS ! THAT SUCKS!#i know i need to just suck it up and ignore it but thats like the life quote of being poc isnt it #ugh #it sucks

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get-more-bald · 22 days

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the biggest thing about X6 is not that he doesn't think of himself as human (though he doesn't, and according to some it's correct) BUT that he doesn't see himself as a Person

#searching through the X6-88 tag on tumblr has not brought me joy #also. 1 thing about is that i hate hate hate the (i think) canon blue eyes he has. like. for fucking what #1st i saw them on tumblr and thought 'well thats stupid. whyd you give him blue eyes? so hed look special? thats weird. at least its uncanon #also. on god. i saw some post headcanoning the companions' appearances and it was p cool UNTIL they got to x6 #and they gave him grey 'almost white' eyes for literally no reason. like if you want to go with the scary factor theres so many ways for it #but no. some people think that blue/grey eyes are sooo special. and for what #<- i have brown eyes but im not just being salty. it really sucks. i dont wanna be the one to call fandom racism but it does smell like it!#also like. i didnt want to go on a stupid tirade about racism in the tags again but the way fandom treats x6 AND preston is just upsetting #other people have made some very good points about it and im not going to repeat them here (also noones gonna read this)#but like... theres 3 'main' black characters that i remember: preston garvey (whom the stron majority of the fandom hates/disliked)#x6-88 (basically the players slave? also hated for being mean and unfeeling (which is justified imo). no quest no freedom no nothing)#and gloria (who i havent met in game but ive heard some actual criticisms of (like. the way shes treated ingame) and noone else talks about)#if theres any other Named and Important characters. sorry but i literally do not remember them #coming back to x6 being justified in being unemotional/mean. he was literally raised this way. he doesnt consider himself to be a person #being he was made that way. he is a Thing and hes meant for one job and hes made to inspire fear #and hes not supposed to have emotions so he just. doesnt. if he does he cant express them anyways #1 if fallout4 was a better written game (or 2 if x6 was white) i think thered be SO much fanfiction about him. the possibilities are endless #i have something brewing in the back of my head. i might start writing even though i suck and its going to be bad #ANYWAYS. general fandom thought on x6 are WRONG and im being a HATER. fuck everyone who doesn't like x6. if you dont like x6 get off tumblr #especially if you like gage but not x6. leave fr #i just woke up wtf am i doingggg

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grmpgm · 5 months

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ok executive dysfunction is kind of ruining my life actually

#i have an incredibly time-consuming project i NEED to finish and i genuinely don’t know if i can #i’ve started which is good but i’m horrifically behind where i need to be and i’m just so overwhelmed #i technically have enough time to finish it i think? but it’s my final project so i literally cannot miss this deadline #my professor is really cool + likes me but it’s already been so long w/out me bringing it up #and wtf am i supposed to say? yeah. i WANTED to work on it. i just chose not to????? like wtf #it’s just so humiliating and i’m so behind i don’t know wtf i’m gonna do #it’s worse bc it’s an animation and it’s gg related and i really really wanted this to be good and i wanted things to be different this time #kind of funny bc i’m actually mid getting an adhd diagnosis rn but it’s just so fucking awful because i do this constantly #it fucking sucks so much i feel so helpless and i don’t know wtf is wrong with me. i’m so tired of letting everyone down constantly #it’s so bad rn i literally cannot do anything. it’s humiliating like WHY can’t i just be a functional normal person #it fucking SUCKS because i KNOW if i had any self control or work ethic whatsoever i could be really fucking successful but i don’t.#so i won’t be i guess.#and i KNOW it’s tied into a bunch of different stuff too but like gd i DO NOT care i just want to be functional #worst case scenario i have an A in the class so if i completely blow it i’ll at least pass? hopefully?#i might be able to talk my prof into an extended deadline but it’s so embarrassing bc i didn’t need one in the first place.#i have literally no excuses #it just makes me so upset because i just keep doing this over and over and i don’t know how to stop it or how to get better #and LOL sorry for posting this here i just feel weird talking to anyone personally about this (+ currently avoiding responding to messages!)#it’s just like. man if i can’t get a fucking grip i will literally waste my entire life. Oh Well! LOL

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ducktollers · 5 months

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got a sortof interview for a research assistant job tomorrow and sooooooooo scareds :D

#delete later #sortof bc its basically already mine since my mom works there and said the current assistant sucks so bad theyll take Anyone with a degree #and theyre desperate #and its super casual and low intensity but still stressed tf out #bc i havent done anything non routine since december and my anxiety has gotten soooo bad and im soooo bad at talking to people #and ik the antidote is doing things again which is why am i doing this but. scary #and time is moving too fast and im so lost and i hate my stupid fuckass grocery store job and idk what to dew w my life rn #cannot stop reminiscing abt the life unlived and the time lost and while i do that i am not living anf losing time #😃😃😃😃😃😃#cannot stop thinking abt how my school life is simply over and i missed it i wasted it its Over 😀 no more chances #didnt make ONE friend in 5 years of university didnt join anything didnt do anything except mentally deteriorate #uni is supposed to be the source of so much life and experience. and yooo i missed it 😂yooooo omg its too late for me 😂😂😂#i rememebr before crossing the stage at high school graduation i was like. rn im in the part of my life before graduation #and in a minute suddenly im gonna be in the after #and then i realized recently. im in The After of university. the moment passed and i missed it #there is no more chances theres no more ‘next semester ill make friends’ theres no more Anything it is Over #time keeps going so fast and yallll i cant go back lol 😂😂😂 brooo wtf nobody told me u can never go back 😂#dawg i havent felt alive even once since leaving high school 😂 yo i peaked at age 17 😂 yo jm about to turn 23 and my last memory is being 19 #yooooo whered the time go 😂😂😂😂 brooo where does it keep going lol come back wait up im runnin out of time 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂#x

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lesbiansanemi · 5 months

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I am so fucking sick of living with my roommate and his fuck ass boyfriend. Also watching my roommate burn every single one of his (already rather minimal, I might add) bridges for this guy is also kind of painful but also his relationship with me is one of said bridges so I'm almost past the point of even feeling bad for him lmao

#i have had to piss for probably the better part of an hour now #because they decided to take a shower together and have been in there for well OVER an hour now #and this is a nightly occurence atp sometimes MULTIPLE times a day #we have one bathroom.... can yall not be considerate enough to not be in there for up to TWO HOURS AT A TIME???#also it's such a waste of fucking water....#idk we've hit a point where i literally hear the bf doing anything and i get pissed off #but also tell me why i'm sitting in my room (which shares a wall with the bathroom) and i can hear this man hacking and spitting shit up #and this is also something that happens multiple times a day #like.... dude.... why are you spitting up toothpaste so fucking loudly oh my fucking god #but yeah no i'm like my roommate's only friend atp and he's about to not have me lmao like we're about to reach #'i'm cutting you off when i move out' levels of me being pissed off with this whole situation type shit #and apparently the bf convinced him to come out to his family which his mom was chill which is good #his dad's side of the family though....? not great. and my roommate KNEW that would be the case cuz we'd talked about it before #also love that my roommate has constantly talked about moving out of the city we live in because he hates and also there's no good career #opportunities for him here (which is true)#and now. MAGICALLY. he's like 'idk i think it'd be best for me to stay here'#like oh my GOD???? are you hearing yourself???? are you fucking stupid???? you fucking hate it here???#but sure throw your life away and ruin all your meaningful relationships for a guy you met six months ago jfc #and the thing is i *know* my roommate we've been close CLOSE friends for nearly a decade now #i know he is not like this.... like yeah he's being insane by allowing this but also i know these aren't the kinds of decisions he would ma #and also i know he wouldn't treat me like this all on his own #it's the deranged fucking control freak of a guy he decided to date and my roommate has too many of his own issues to put his foot down #about certain things and tell the guy no so he's just allowing him to completely take over his life #and fuck everything up until the bf is the only thing he has left once it's all said and done #and yeah. it's painful to watch. but also wtf am i supposed to do because obviously my opinion is not respected nor wanted regarding this #that has been made PAINFULLY clear #ugh this is so fucking horrendous #what is it with ppl who start to date someone and then go clinically fucking insane and destroy their lives all for this one person #who. realistically. they barely know in comparison to all the other ppl in their life #like explain it to me jfc

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bandanadee · 4 months

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so my university just up and decided its gonna fully forever close in 7 days so i wont be able to graduate. Awesome

#not to doxx myself cause thats easy info to find which school but like #hey wtf am i supposed to do now

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bunnihearted · 7 months

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i just hate hate hate society so much!!! i have no idea how im supposed to find a way to live and participate in it. i cant stand a single thing abt it. i hate everyone and everything. and the thing lazy ppl dont wanna admit is that WE are society. we create society, we allow the state to do what it does. we choose this. how am i supposed to "love my neighbor" when they are prtially responsible for what this society is???? there is nothing good abt this. it is a cruel and vicious system built on abusing and taking advantage of the vulnerable and the poor. there are no real rules; rules only apply to the ones at the bottom of the hiearchy while the rich and the powerful get away with anything. nothing is fair or just. rules and laws are only there to keep the poor and vulnerable ones down. if you have nothing you will most likely spend your entire life like that, because there is no playing far in this society. nothing is easy. even if it's hard and you fight for it you'll probably not end up going anywhere. the entire thing is rigged. and everyone chooses to just go with it. we have chosen this. and it sucks and i hate everyone and everything because life is so fucking unnecessarily hard and unfair and if you're born with nothing you'll never have anything. even if you try to play by the rules they've set. the rules are against you. and if you break the rules you're immediately punished. life is nothing but an unjust imprisonment.

#and my rage just gets worse each day #bc ofc swedish ppl have chosen a rightist government which is awful and terrible and they make everything worse day by day #i hateeeeee hate hate hate society and the ppl in it so much #they have CHOSEN this they WANT this #otherwise all they would need to do is vote left. so simple. so easy #yet this is what they wanted. an unfair hellworld where the rich get richer and everyday life gets insufferable for everyone else #im so dejected bc it is like IMPOSSIBLE to move #like my mom nd sister have been looking for apartments nd my mom sent an application for one #and they just removed it bc now its apparently illegal to apply for appartments w a family member. it HAS to be a romantical partner. WTF?!#i hate everything abt society #and i hate everyone i see outside bc they VOTED for the right which are the ones responsible for all this #everyone out there CHOSE this #how tf am i supposed to love or care abt them when they are the reason life fkn sucks??????

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anime-academia · 4 months

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I think I experienced the whole range of human emotion over the past week and I'd like to uninstall it now.

#i am so so tired #had some conscious realisations about myself which were kind of annoying #cried twice in the span of 24 hours #I just need to be the little spoon for a couple of hours #that might fix me for now #but alas #i am bi myself #speaking of which #wtf are you supposed to do when your sibling asks if you're homophobic #like bruh obviously i am not but the rest of the fam is #christ i am so tired #asra's journal

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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year

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...

#ay ay ay. i dont wanna do my job so bad. it makes me so unhappy also i fucked up a thing by letting someone take part of a culture when i #shouldnt have. it happened so many months ago that i fucking forgot abt it and then the person emailed me abt when we received the stain and #i thought it was someone from another project so i cc'd my boss who was like. wait. what the fuck is this? and now its like oops sorry but #like wtf am i supposed to do abt it now? she askrd me to take some when i was rushing out of someone else's lab and i was like what? sure.#whatever i dont give a fuck i feel like im dying every second i stand in this room. i didnt even think to ask to share it which is what i #should have done. oops. cant do anything abt it now other than feel abt abt causing drama between labs. ugh.#i just wanna cut all ties with my old work. theres no joy there. only pain and anger. which makes it hard to work with it but the sooner i #do. the sooner i dont have to fucking deal with it anymore. ugh. also i really need to find a therapist but my insurance changes in like 18 #days so i might as well wait for the semester to start. ugh. like i can feel the pull of my bad habits trying to drag me down and i dont kno #how to stop them. like its weird. i noticed while my parents were here. they can just do things and enjoy stuff. and everytime i do #something i feel like im holding my breath the entrie time waiting for it to be over and for what? its not like i had other stuff to do #i just needed to kno when things were gonna end and i dont deal well with flexible situations. which makes it hard to do things. so its #like do i succumb to my control freak lil bubble of not doing anything and being miserable or do things outside my comfort zone and be #miserable? one of those things is way easier. plus i dont even kno anyone here so its like wtf do i do?#try to make friends with my sometimes roommate maybe. i just need to corner her and be like hey i need to establish a dialog with u so i can #tell u that if i seem like a weird hermit im not trying to b standoffish i just dont kno how to do human interaction well. can we b friends?#id like to b friends but if i dont talk now then ill get stuck not talking ever. which is whats happened with past roommates... god my 1st #roommate must have thought i was so fucking weird. ugh. point is. these bad habits must stop. and i really need to get work done so i can #never think abt that shit ever again. at least now that ive moved i can run up the side of a mountain when im frustrated #unrelated

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ochrophyta · 9 months

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8am classes three days a week starting monday i dont think i can do this man

#im a sleepy girl. im really really sleepy.#and all my classes end at 6pm which means that ostensibly if i want to get 8 hours of sleep (WHICH ISNT ENOUGH FOR ME)#i get 2 hours of time away from campus and to myself per day before i have to go to sleep #im so so sleepy wtf am i supposed to do. adapt my whole life around an 8am design and marketing class???#is too sleepy a medical excuse. because i need like 9 hours of sleep or else ill want to die all day #can i go to my uni and say hey man. im sleepy im so so sleepy please dont make me be awake.

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anonymous-depressed-figure · 2 years

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My dad just told me that they use my bedroom as a storage/guest room because I’m not really a part of this family 🫠

#someone get this man a father of the year award #complex ptsd #ptsd #child abuse #vent tw #i’m so sick of this #that is my biggest insecurity #and he just admitted it so casually #like it was just a known thing #which means they talk about it when I’m not around #I just pretended I didn’t hear him #cause wtf else am I supposed to do #I can think of lots of things I want to do #but nothing that wouldn’t traumatize my siblings #so I didn’t say anything #if you don’t have anything nice to say yknow

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vitiateoriginator · 1 year

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Birthday keroppi time B)

#screams #my birthday is next Friday holy shit I'm gonna be 25 #can't believe its that time of year again #and not me blanking about what I want to get and do for my birthday #wtf could I ask for that I can't get or go do myself #anything I would want is out of the question because of expense (like a new pc. I still haven't gotten one)#I guess I could ask for pokemon legends arceus. I've been meaning to buy it but haven't been able to justify spending $60 #on a game I might take my seeet ass time playing thru cause I hate using my switch lite (the screen is so fucking small its annoying)#but its an idea at least #as for what I want to do? man idk #we'll probably go to olive garden like most years which Im cool with #although nowadays my datemate and I go there often for dates (we were just there yesterday for instance)#but I love olive garden so I won't say no to going #maybe to that historical township thats a half hour drive away?#datemate and I were supposed to go today as part of my vacation #but he talked me out of it (like he does with most big trip plans I make 😒)#the reason he did so it because its hot as balls today and sunny with a hogh uv index #we'd be outside for most of the trip and her reckons being in the heat will make him miserable and a killjoy #because he's heat sensitive. I am too so I can't really argue with him on that #so maybe it'll be cooler on the 15th so we can go #if not I don't really mind waiting til October because that township is better in the fall #but anyways those are the ideas I have rn #I'll probably ask for a pokemon plushie as a gift #I'd kill to get a new stufful plushie but those are rare and expensive thanks to scalpers #I'd be down to get another Vaporeon like my datemate bought me last year. or another of my favorites #Im not gonna be too picky this year even tho its a big birthday (my brain is fully developed)#because a lot of my birthdays turn out to be shit. last year was really nice tho #but I don't want to get my hopes up for anything and then be depressed that day like what often happens #so I will just be grateful to get some good tasting cake. that's literally the bare minimum of what I want without question #sam's rants about life

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funkytoesart · 1 year

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tw for ed talk in the tags so like,,, idk be mindful of that i guess if you happen to read the tags of this post? just need to vent to the void a lil lol

#tried vlogging today #one of those “day/week in the life of an artist/etc etc etc” vlogs #because i love watching studio vlogs but also i wish there were more from webtoon/comic creators so I was like except that like... y'all #it should be illegal for me to point a camera at myself 💀#Me: I'll do a vlog!#Also Me: forgets I'm ugly as fuck 🤡#this is why I don't allow people to take my photo lol #anywayyyy decided NOT to vlog bc literally No one wants to see *gestures to myself* any of this lmaoo #Also apparently it's time to double down on that diet 👍 :/#which is like: I already only eat like around 1200 calories a day or less most of the time wtf am I supposed to do now lmao #Anyway i hate getting reminders that despite having ED I can't lose weight and like... then what the hELL is the USE of having debilitating #eating disorder issues if I can't even lose weight while I'm at it 💀🤡💀🤡💀🤡💀🤡#Funky's personal tag #please ignore this I'm just venting and don't got no one in my personal real life that won't get annoyed at me if I vent to them irl lol #delete later #lol tumblr is such a bad website it totally fucked the tags on this post lmao

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thursdayg1rl · 1 year

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killing myself in front of the houses of parliament to change their life tragectories forever. and then maybe they will consider trying to make life easier for people in abusive situations

#why is everything so hard to DO #just registered to vote idk if i did it right #bc i searched up my name in her emails bc my school said we need to stay on top of all of it this year #and saw one asking me to register to vote and it said reply by the 19th but obviously she didnt tell me so i might just not get to vote idk #and didnt want to sign up for a postal vote bc of course they have to post the application to you and then she would be like why are you #trying to vote who do you think you are youre not allowed to be a person outside of what i allow etc etc #so ig when the time comes itll have to be in person #and you need id for that #and of course i dont have a driving licence bc im not allowed to learn how to drive so WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO #at least i can access my passport but there could be people whose parents/spouses hide their documents..#like dp you see what i mean . everythning is a trap #also im getting so much anxiety about not knowing how to drive #bc she'll never let me learn under her roof so wtf am i supposed to do like genuinely #ill just have to go about life not knowing this basic skill #at least my brother knows how to from pakistan so he can just do the tests #i dont even KNOW #theres just so many things like that which make my skin crawl #like the fact that my bank account is linked to her phone and this address so thats a level of control she has over me like for years #and this is my address for everything official basically #and i have no idea how id even start changing it when i do leave #think the only option left is to kms maybe then ill be free

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