#which makes me think that maybe i just miss that kind of intimate attention

[stillmonsterz]

when you split the heart open

pairing: heeseung x reader, jake x reader (kind of)

genre: smut, angst (?)

summary: heeseung is dating the girl of his dreams. the only problem? he has to have sex with her.

warnings: unprotected sex, swearing, voyeurism, name-calling, manipulation, exhibitionism, dubcon, public sex, humiliation (?), heeseung is a cuck

word count: 5.1k

---

Heeseung had a girlfriend, and she was amazing. She was pretty, smart, funny, and her body was out of this world. She had a particular vibrancy and joie de vivre that made spending time with her invigorating. She was the opposite of a dead fish in the bedroom- she was vocal, enthusiastic, and loved to please him.

He disliked having sex with her.

Sometimes he almost pitied her; she would seduce him in any way she could, winding her hips seductively, crawling towards him on the bed wearing nothing but thigh-high socks, rubbing his crotch under the table when they ate out, anything to catch his attention. Of course, he didn’t pass up a good fuck – he wasn’t insane – but it did nothing for him but provide a quick release.

It wasn’t like he didn’t love her, he did. He was convinced that someday, he could even marry her. It’s just that he found that he loved her best when she was farther away from him, someone he could admire rather than keep. Heeseung found her beautiful at 11 pm, when she would dance alone in her bedroom wearing a baggy T-shirt. Or when she would shove her face into her pillow and thrust the end of a hairbrush into her pussy. It was an amazing night when he had caught that- he had been parked outside of her apartment complex, so he got a side-view, and the camera he had set up in her closet gave him a perfect shot of her smooth legs and raised ass. The day after that, when they had had sex in his van, the memory of her chasing her orgasm got him to finish.

Heeseung was a voyeur, and he was starting to think that it was becoming a problem. And it wasn’t even a problem he could complain about; in a moment of weakness, he had told his best friend Jay that he didn’t like how frequently his girlfriend wanted sex, and Jay had heavily implied that Heeseung was gay.

He was getting really sick and tired of having to fuck his girlfriend all the time. Heeseung had suggested mutual masturbation, which backfired. It ended up being too intimate for him and it just got her hot. She had pounced on him and ridden him as if her life depended on it.

At times, he missed how things were before they started dating. He had met her at her job, and had never revisited. Instead, he had waited for her shift to finish, followed her home, and tugged himself dry while he watched her undress in her room. The curtains were too sheer, and sometimes she wouldn’t even draw them. It made him think she wanted him to see her, and the thought of that always made him harder.

She had approached him at the local grocery store, as he was buying ramen noodles. She had said that she had wanted to see him again, Heeseung had made up some excuse, and through a series of events that Heeseung hadn’t lived through so much as passively observed, they had ended up dating.

It had been eight months of dating, cuddling, and sex, and he felt exhausted. He wanted things to go back to normal, but he also loved spending time with her. So he started making up excuses to not sleep with her. Headaches, shifts at work, weird erections from his medication.

One day, a few days after their eight month anniversary where Heeseung had reluctantly eaten her out, she confronted him. They were sitting on his couch, playing Mario Kart, when she turned to him.

“Do you still like me?” she asked, voice shaky.

Heeseung shut the TV off immediately. “Huh? Of course I like you- baby, I love you.” He rested his hands on hers as they clutched the controller.

“Then why don’t you like sleeping with me?”

“No, no, I…” Heeseung hesitated. This was the perfect time to come clean. They could work things out, maybe. It would be good to get it off his chest. “Okay. Okay, I’ve been having a…problem. It has nothing to do with you, I promise.”

Her eyes were wide and glassy. She was wearing his large hoodie and a pair of dolphin shorts. She looked perfect. “A problem?”

“Yes, a problem. I…I…look. I like you. I love you. You’re my girl.” Heeseung reached out and stroked her cheek gently. “The problem is that you’re just…like an angel to me. It feels wrong when I…when I fuck you.”

“What?” It came out as a squeak, and she recoiled from his touch. “Feels wrong?”

“No, no, not that you’re wrong, it’s me, it’s that…” Heeseung sighed. “I like to look at you I like seeing you move, it’s like art come to life. It feels like when I touch you, I’m sullying something beautiful, something that needs to be kept clean.” Heeseung thought that if he made it sound more romantic and less like a paraphilia, she would be more inclined to hear him out. And to his glee, she slowly leaned into his touch again, her cheek rubbing against his hand.

“You find me beautiful?”

“You are the most gorgeous woman I have ever met,” he said, staring her in her luminous eyes. “Too gorgeous for me.”

“You aren’t,” she said imploringly, holding his wrist with her two hands. “Heeseung, I love you. And I really like having sex with you. Why did you sleep with me all those times if you didn’t enjoy it?”

“I did enjoy it, I did. I just…I wanted to make you happy, baby.” Heeseung kissed her forehead. “Your happiness matters the most to me. I’d do anything for you.”

“And I’d do anything for you,” she said, leaning in to kiss him on the lips. He kissed her vack, cupping her face in his hands.

“Anything for me?”

“Anything, Heeseung.”

“I have an idea.”

He clambered into his room and pulled out his hairbrush. “Just…just use this to get off, okay?” He handed it to her, and she accepted it slowly, turning it over like it was a foreign object.

His girlfriend looked up at him. “Right now?”

Heeseung shook his head. “Not yet. Hold on.” He ran to his room again and found an old handheld camcorder.

She squinted at it. “You’re going to film me?”

“No, it’s dead,” he lied. “See?” He showed her the black screen. “I’m just going to use this to mimic the feeling of….uh, awayness. Like an extra screen between you and I.”

She fiddled with the hairbrush, feeling its smooth wooden end with her thumb. “Well…I mean, I’m not really in the mood right now….”

“You’re always in the mood,” he replied, frustration slowly building in him. “I swear you’re like a dog in heat sometimes.”

His girlfriend’s eyes widened again. “What?”

“You’re always asking to get fucked. You’re like a nymphomaniac, I swear. I bet you go home and hump your pillows right after I turn you out because you just can’t get enough.” Heeseung had seen exactly that from one of his midnight excursions to her place.

“I’m not a nympho-,”

“Oh, yes you are. Whores like to get fucked less than you do. I can only imagine how much you got around before I cuffed you.” He saw her shove one hand down her dolphin shorts. He raised the camera with a smile.

“I’m a whore?” Her face was flushed, and her eyes were squeezed shut.

“You’re a whore who gets off to being called a whore. Good fucking thing you’re with me, or else you would have been taken advantage of already, especially with that slutty body of yours.”

To his growing delight, she had tugged her shorts off and slipped her dainty little panties off. The end of his hairbrush slipped deftly in and out of her glistening folds.

Heeseung stopped talking, as so not too ruin the footage with his voice. He just watched her circle her clit with her manicured fingers, watched her pussy swallow the hairbrush.

“Heeseung,” she moaned, and he scowled, cutting the video short.

“Don’t say my name,” he said. “And keep your eyes shut.” When her eyes fluttered shut, he turned the camera on. He stroked himself in time with the insertion of the hairbrush. Seeing her splayed out on his couch, her head tossed back, his hoodie riding up to expose her soft tummy…it was amazing. And the fact that she didn’t know he was filming her made it all the better. It was forbidden, it was wrong, it was perfect. When she came, she nearly said his name again, but she cut herself off instead. He didn’t let himself cum, but he moaned and pretended like he did too.

Heeseung kissed his girlfriend, licked the sweat off of her face. “Perfect,” he murmured. “So perfect for me.”

“Thank you,” she whispered.

The second she left his house, he sniffed the couch, the exact place where she had sat as they had played video games. Her scent was so strong; he buried his face into the faux leather and inhaled deeply. Heeseung closed his eyes, imagined her masturbating herself all alone in room, and finished all over the couch.

He was going to have so much fun.

The platonic aspects of their relationship stayed the same. They would have simple at-home dates, occasionally going out to restaurants or the movies or anywhere she liked. Heeseung didn’t really care what they did as a couple. He just liked to be around her.

They still had sex, but it had gone from several times a week to once every two weeks. It was still a dreaded task for Heeseung, but it balanced out now that they had incorporated his voyeuristic tendencies into their relationship.

On movie dates, he made sure to get tickets in a theatre with a sparse audience. Then, he would leave his seat, sitting a few rows back, and watch his girlfriend play with herself, fondling her tits and slipping a hand into her jeans. If they went to the beach, Heeseung would take her to a secluded spot, tell her to lie down on a towel, and to strip. She would sunbathe completely nude,  rubbing lotion all over herself.

When she would go out with her friends, Heeseung would periodically text her, asking her to unbutton a few of her buttons, or to send him a picture of her panties. He asked her to fuck herself in public bathrooms and to send videos for proof. He would lazily stroke his cock to the grainy footage of her sliding her fingers in and out of her tight pussy. When she told him that men were hitting on her, he would text, “Good job.” Then he would tell her to unbutton another few buttons, or to part her legs as she rode the subway. What he would really like would be for her to walk around dressed in a tiny little crop top that showed the underside of her breasts and shorts that displayed her bare ass, but Heeseung knew he was already asking for a lot.

A few times, he had strapped her to his bed with rope, so that her arms and legs were bound. He had affixed a phone-controlled vibrator between her thighs, and he watched her writhe on his bed with glee. Heeseung watched her have orgasm after orgasm, and if she begged him to stop he would get angry. He would complain that she had ruined it. He would pry her mouth open with his fingers, and she would suck him off to completion. Then he would start the process over again, until her face was flushed, her legs would shake, and he could even glimpse her pussy clenching around nothing. It was fun for him, but eventually he grew tired of watching it. He had tried making it more interesting by binding her fingers in front of her hole so she could tremblingly fuck herself, but the rush of that wore off too. Heeseung needed something more, something that could sate his urges.

So he had asked for something else.

---

“You want me to do what?” They were at a café, and she put down the croissant she had been nibbling.

Heeseung raised his hands. “You don’t have to do it. It was just a suggestion.”

“Heeseung, I know you’re struggling, but…nude karaoke?”

He sighed and looked away from her. “I know, I’m sorry. It’s just…it’s getting hard, you know. I love you, and I feel like I’m not good enough for you. It’s really messing with me, up here…” Heeseung tapped the side of his head. “I feel like a freak.”

Her face softened, and she reached out to hold his hand. “You’re not a freak, my love. You’re just…”

“A perv who wants his girlfriend to get nude in front of strangers.” Heeseung laughed humorlessly. “Yeah, I’m really normal.”

“You’re not a perv, either.” She swallowed. “I mean…this could actually be good for me. It could help me explore my sexuality more.” She squeezed his hand and mustered up a smile. “I think we should try it?”

Heeseung didn’t allow himself to smile. “Yeah? I mean, are you sure?”

“I’m sure,” she said firmly. “I want to do this.”

He leaned across the table and kissed her all over her face. “Thank you, thank you, thank you. You’re the nicest girl ever.”

That night was nude karaoke night at a local var. When they arrived, there were only a five dozen or so attendees, mainly men. They were sitting around a makeshift stage in wooden chairs that had been dragged from the surrounding tables. A woman was there, warbling a song as she swayed her hips. The men seemed bored, and Heeseung started to feel prideful. His girl, who was wearing a loose white dress and had folded her arms tightly around her chest, was so much prettier than that other woman. These men were going to shit themselves when she started to sing.

The woman finished her song, and the applause was scattered. Then his girlfriend slowly walked onto the stage, her heels clacking against the floor. Her hands were scrunched into fists. As she adjusted the mic, one man yelled, “Take your tits out, now!”

Another said, “Don’t look so shy, sweetheart.”

Heeseung was elated.

She introduced the song she was going to sing – Fade Into You by Mazzy Star. Heeseung had heard her sing that one; her voice had always sounded so melancholic, fragile, and sweet. He smiled at her encouragingly.

The intro to the song played, and she pulled her dress off, revealing her stunning body. The men whooped and cheered, hurling vulgarities at her. She tried to sing, clutching the microphone tightly, but the jeering was loud. As Heeseung scanned the small space, he saw that the men around him were either stroking their bulges covertly or outright jerking themselves off.

His girlfriend kept singing with her eyes closed. Heeseung wanted her to open them, so she could see the effect he was having on all of those men. They were all drooling after her, calling her a slut, saying that she must be tight, that they would fuck up whoever got to tap that pussy. Heeseung jerked himself off right there, joining in the orgiastic atmosphere of the cramped little bar. He watched her sing, his heart full.

When she finished, the patrons begged her to keep singing. They tossed money at her, wadded bills. She glanced at Heeseung, who nodded, and so she continued to sing, this time quietly crooning In The Mood For Love.

A man told her to play with her tits while she sang, and she did, running her thumb along her nipples. It was more than Heeseung could handle, and he came halfway through the song.

After her second performance, she hurried off of the stage, collecting some of the money before pulling her dress on. She ran out, which was smart, because the men were starting to clamor for her to do worse acts. Heeseung followed after her, and before he opened his car, he kissed her in the parking lot.

“That was amazing,” he whispered, kissing her again. “So amazing. Your voice is beautiful.”

She scoffed. “My voice?”

Heeseung shrugged playfully. “And, you know, your body. You looked sexy up there. Everyone thought so.”

His girlfriend rested her hands against his chest. “Did you think so?”

“Of course I did,” he said in a placating tone, stroking her hair. “Of course, baby.”

“You’re the only person I care about,” she said quietly.

“Me too.”

She hesitated. “Did you…like what I did? How did that make you feel, me going up there, naked, and…”

Heeseung tilted her chin up with his finger. “I loved it. I fucking loved it. I came in mere minutes. You’re amazing, baby.”

She reached out to hug him, and he wrapped his arms around her. Heeseung held her like she would slip away from him.

--

After that, she became different. Without even asking, she had started to wear tighter, shorter clothes. She used to go out in dresses, worn jeans, or she’d just wear his hoodies. Now, she wore bodycon dresses, miniskirts that practically gave you peeks of her ass, and she had cut her shirts up so that they displayed her midriff. It was amazing.

He liked to parade her around the mall now. The sight of men and women alike ogling his girlfriend made his cock so hard, he would walk with a limp. When he couldn’t handle it anymore, he would take her into the family bathroom, or slip into a change room and fuck her in there. Public sex was marginally better than regular sex with her, because he liked to imagine that men were fantasizing about her. He would close his eyes and imagine her naked, standing like a mannequin in a store, and all of the men who had lasciviously eyed her in the mall being forced to see her but unable to touch. It was a glorious time.

The novelty wore off after a few months, and he lost interest in having sex with her again. She could tell, and he knew that she was getting nervous. She performed at nude karaoke again, but even that did nothing for him.

He knew what he wanted from her.

On their first anniversary as a couple, Heeseung had taken her to brunch at a restaurant she had been eyeing. She wore this little black crop top with a tiny skirt, and her makeup was perfect.

Towards the end of their meal, Heeseung dabbed his mouth with a napkin. “Baby,” he began, staring her in the eyes, “you are my better half. I can’t believe I’ve been able to spend a full year with you. You’re so kind, so sweet, so understanding, and so gorgeous.” He reached out and kissed her hand, and she giggled. “You’re the light of my life. You’re my reason to go on, and you deserve the moon. Unfortunately, all I can offer you is this.” Heeseung pulled a small black box out of his jacket pocket.

With a smile so bright Heeseung swore it could cause flowers to bloom, she opened the box. She gasped when she saw the charm bracelet he had bought her. “Oh, Heeseung,” she said, covering her mouth with her hand. “This is so expensive.”

“You deserve it,” he said softly, taking the bracelet and slipping it onto her wrist. “You deserve the world, baby.”

“I have it right here,” she replied.

They shared a kiss, then Heeseung leaned into her ear. “I was thinking…we could make this anniversary even more special.”

Her lips curled into a mischievous little smile. “How?”

“You said you’d do anything for me, right?”

She pulled away from him slightly, her lips setting into a thin line.

“Right?” he asked firmly, taking hold of her hand.

“Of course,” she said frantically, “anything for you, my love.”

---

The motel that Heeseung had driven them to was shoddy and sleazy. There were people outside smoking on lawn chairs, and dilapidated cars filled the parking lot. The neon sign affixed to the window flashed its name: Ethan’s Motel. Heeseung ushered his girlfriend inside, and he took note of the people populating the motel. Tweakers, men in sweaty wife-beaters.

He wondered which one would give his girlfriend the best fuck.

In the end, he told her to find someone while he set up the rooms. She asked how, and he told her to just be upfront with them. Heeseung had bought two rooms, which stunk of dust and reeked of bodily fluids. He hid a small camera in a flower pot- his girlfriend didn’t know about that – and shoved a nail through the wall to make a small hole, just to cover his ass.

Then he went to the other room to set up his laptop, which showed the feed from the camera. He set that on the small desk directly in front of his bed.

Within ten minutes, his girlfriend was leading a man into the motel room. He looked around their age and had a shaggy mop of hair. He was shorter than Heeseung, so Heeseung figured that his dick was probably smaller, too. But his girlfriend wouldn’t mind that, he was sure- who knows how much random dick she’d bounced on before they dated? Anyways, her hookup looked nice enough, but then again, he was hanging around a place like this.

“What did you say your name was?” she asked, still holding his hand. She sat down on the bed, and the guy followed.

“Jake,” he said. “And yours?”

She told him her name, and he nodded.

“Well, you’re…you’re hot as hell,” Jake said, laughing awkwardly. He scratched the back of his neck. Heeseung was getting really pissed off, but he told himself to be patient.

“You’re not too bad yourself,” she said lowly, tracing a finger down Jake’s chest. Heeseung shivered. “I think you know how to please a woman, right?”

Jake smirked and slowly pushed Heeseung’s girlfriend down until he was hovering above her. “Come find out.”

Heeseung watched Jake make out with his girlfriend. He watched his girlfriend lie, refusing to even touch Jake. It made him frown. She was supposed to be enjoying this. He wanted to see her in the throes of ecstasy, wanted to see her in all of her hedonistic glory.

Finally, she kissed Jake back, and he started taking his clothes off. He seemed as frantic as Heeseung was. She undressed, casting her clothes aside, and Jake was on top of her again.

Jake shifted around so that her ass was above his face as she lied on top of him. He started to lick her pussy, firmly gripping her ass with both of her hands. She started to suck him off, only licking the tip at first before throating Jake’s cock.

Heeseung whimpered, unzipping his jeans and only allowing himself minimal pressure as he palmed himself over his boxers. If he didn’t pace himself, he was going to cum before the fun truly began.

Jake continued to eat Heeseung’s girlfriend out, and Heeseung could hear his moans through the door. His girlfriend was being incredibly quiet, however, which was annoying. She pulled herself off of Jake and sat at the head of the bed. She spread her legs and looked up at Jake with empty eyes. Jake crawled towards her, and from that angle Heeseung could only see his hips moving rapidly and his girlfriend’s legs quivering. Her hands feebly wrapped around Jake and hugged him tightly as she pounded her.

Then Jake laid flat on his back and she got on top of him. The way she arched her back, practically dancing on Jake’s dick, made Heeseung moan. She gripped Jake’s shoulders and took him to the hilt, her eyes closed. Jake was holding her hips and whispering, “Fuck, fuck that’s nice, fuck.” It was annoying that this shmuck didn’t have anything better to say, but Heeseung didn’t really care. He was forcing himself to stroke himself at a snail’s pace, when all he wanted to do was rub his dick raw.

His girlfriend got off of Jake’s cock and went on all fours, so that she was facing the TV of the motel room. In other words, she was facing Heeseung’s camera. It felt like magic, like she knew or something. He couldn’t take it anymore, and Heeseung spit in his hand and started stroking himself directly. Jake kneeled behind Heeseung’s girlfriend and started ramming into her, one hand slapping her ass and the other pulling her hair back.

Heeseung took in the details of her body; the shuddering of her torso, the trembling of her arms as she steadied herself on the bed, the way that her ass pressed against Jake’s groin as he pounded into her, the way her breasts freely shook, the conflicted expression on her perfect little face, the sheen of sweat covering her from her head to her toes. Heeseung had always known that she was beautiful, but now he swore that she was an angel.

Jake panted, “I’m close, fuck, fuck!” so Heeseung rubbed his cock even faster, his other hand squeezing his balls. It was an Olympic feat to suppress his growing orgasm, but he didn’t want to mess this up. Not when his girlfriend was whimpering so prettily, when she was so consumed by her own pleasure, guilt, and embarrassment that she had probably forgotten all about the camera filming it all. Heeseung thought he might die.

With a guttural moan, Jake came in her, weakly thrusting a few more times to drain the last of his cum. Then he let her drop onto the bed, and she collapsed like a rag doll. Heeseung came as well, biting his lip harshly so he wouldn’t moan. He milked his cock with a white-hot fervor, riding out his high for as long as he could. When the aftershock hit him, all he could do was take quick gasps of air. Heeseung licked his lips and tasted blood.

Jake stroked his girlfriend’s hair, kissed her forehead, then whispered something in her ear. The sight of her limp and pliant, barely lifting her head to talk to Jake, was so arousing that Heeseung wished he had it in him to jack off again. This footage would last him for months.

As Heeseung closes his eyes to relive the memory, Jake put his clothes on. He dug around in his jacket, pulled out a few bills, and left them on her back. He left, closing the door with a soft click. Heeseung’s girlfriend remained where she was, as stiff as a corpse. Heeseung didn’t leave his motel room right away, the images in his head too vivid, too lush.

Heeseung walked inside of the motel room, and the smell of sex was intoxicating. “Baby, that was amazing- you, you were amazing.” His grin is stretched maniacally wide, and his steps towards the hidden camera were buoyant. “I came so hard, baby. It was perfect, just perfect.” He removed the camera from the potted plant and tucked it carefully into its bag.

She hadn’t said a word, just resting on her stomach. Her eyes were closed, and her breathing was shaky. Poor thing, Heeseung thought, she hadn’t had a fucking like that since we got together. Poor little angel. He walked over to her and lay next to her on the bed. He kissed her over and over, holding her slick cheeks in her hands. “You’re so perfect,” Heeseung whispered. “Thank you so much, thank you, thank you. You’re amazing, thank you, thank you.”

She opened her eyes, and her apprehensive gaze made Heeseung’s cock stir. “I feel dirty,” she said, voice choked with emotion.

“No, baby,” he said, kissing her nose again. He gently crawls on top of her, circling his arms around her waist. “You’re not dirty. You’re good, so good. You’re the best. There’s nothing wrong with…with exploring. Didn’t it feel good? Didn’t you enjoy it?” His girlfriend hesitated, so he firmly said, “You enjoyed it. Right? I could tell you did.”

She nodded, bucking her head against his chin affectionately. “I did.”

“You did,” Heeseung breathed out. “I knew you would, my sweet girl.” His hand trailed down to his pants zipper, and he pulled his cock out. He gave it a few strokes, but the sight of another man’s cum coating her thighs was all the motivation he needed. “You’re the best,” he cooed, slipping inside of his girlfriend. It was so easy because she had been fucked open by Jake, and she took him so well. The only sound she made when he entered her was a soft little sigh.

Heeseung closed his eyes and thought of her face again, the contortion of her features into that portrait of debauchery. His arms remained tight around her in a stiff embrace, his cheek resting on her head. He thought about how amazing it would be to see another man fuck her again. Maybe two, three, a train of strangers having their turns with his girlfriend, his beautiful, kind girlfriend. Heeseung couldn’t have pulled out of her if he had tried as the fantasies overtake him. He finished inside of her, hot jizz clamoring out of him in spurts, and wiped his tip on one of the bills Jake left on her back. The room felt like it was spinning, and every nerve ending in his body felt alight with fire. “Thank you,” he whispered, pressing a kiss to her neck, “I love you so much.”

Heeseung pushes the money off of her back and carries his girlfriend into the small bathroom. He placed her inside of the cracked bathtub and filled it with warm water. He left her there to get her toiletry bag, and when he came back she was staring at the ceiling. As he scrubbed her body, he pressed kisses to her skin. He washed her like a piece of alabaster pottery, washing her thoroughly. When he dried her off, he noticed that she hadn’t said a single word. “Baby?”

She doesn’t respond.

“Baby?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Heeseung.”

He carried her to bed and dressed her in her grey robe. He stripped to his boxers and kissed her cheeks before he pulled the covers over them both. He pulled her head onto his chest and stroked her soft, downy hair.

He had never felt so in love.

[tangledinink]

Chapter Twelve of I'm Sorry, Teenage Mutant What Now? is up!!! It's the moment you've all waited for-- the reveal. :000 They boys discover some things about themselves (things they once knew) and visit an unfamiliar place (a place that was once familiar.) Read it on ao3 or below the cut!

[ prev ]

The group’s shocked silence lasted for two, maybe three seconds before it quickly morphed into chaos.

“That’s him! That’s the goat!” Mikey shrieked, pointing wildly. “That’s the goat who has Dad!”

“Leo! Call 911!” Raph commanded. Leo scoffed loudly.

“No way! I wanna kick this guy’s ass. Make Donnie do it.”

“What?! No fair! I’ve called 911 the last six times! It’s someone else’s turn!”

“You have not! I called 911 last time!” April protested.

“That one doesn’t count!”

“Well someone’s gotta--”

“Enough!” Goatman snarled, absolutely bristling, waving his arm sharply. The air around them suddenly felt colder and stiller, and Leo shuddered, gritting his teeth as his posture stiffened. “I am not here to listen to your silly arguments. I am here to bring you home, so you can finally fulfill your purpose.”

Leo gave a short snort of laughter. “Hm, yeah, tempting, but our Daddy actually taught us not to go with creepy sheep strangers, even if they offer us free candy, soooo…”

“What?! Candy? No! I’m talking about your purpose! The reason you were created-- to eliminate the human threat! Come with me, and I can unlock your full potential!”

“How many divine purposes have we got again? ‘Cause I’m starting to lose track,” Mikey complained. Leo rolled his eyes.

“Eliminate the human threat? Yeah, uh, maybe you haven't been paying attention, but in case you haven’t noticed, we’re literally humans.”

The yokai paused for a moment. His face twisted, and he hunched his shoulders back before he gave a forced laugh. “Humans?” He echoed. “Humans?! Surely you aren’t fooled by those silly trinkets! You can’t possibly, actually believe…”

“Oh my god. This guy is, like, for real crazy,” April observed, raising her brows.

“No, you are fools!” He hissed in return. “Humans?! These ridiculous forms are completely fabricated! These are not your true selves! You are experiments! You are soldiers! You’re mutated turtles-- my greatest creations! The creations of Baron Draxum!”

“Baron Draxum? Okay, well, we’ll deal with him when he gets here… Oh… Oh-ho-ho wait! You’re doing that, like, sinister talking-about-yourself-in-third person thing, aren’t you! Oh my god, that’s rich!” Leo snorted.

“Hey! Only Raph can use the third-person!”

“I’m sorry, did he say turtles?” Mikey questioned.

“Oh my fucking god…” Leo laughed, clutching his stomach. “Turtles? I’m sorry, we’re mutant turtles?”

“This guy can’t be serious,” Raph muttered.

“Uh, yeah, I’m pretty sure we would have noticed by now if we were reptiles,” Donnie scoffed, one hand on his hip. “Let alone subjects of some kind of biochemical experiments. Which I am intimately familiar with, by the way. Do you have any idea how many community gardens I’ve been banned from?”

“This can’t…” The yokai shook his head, a hand on his brow. “How could you be tricked by such simple magic? I will show you if I have to.” 

“Oh, I’d love to see that,” Donnie muttered.

“Come with me--”

“You are out of your damn mind if you think we’re goin’ anywhere with you!” Raph cut in.

“Maybe if you prove that turtle hypothesis thing you have going on, we can discuss it from there,” Donnie laughed, one brow quirked, sounding caught somewhere between exasperated and amused. Honestly, this whole thing was a little bit fucking hilarious. It was also fucking horrible and scary because their dad was missing and a magic criminal had them cornered in an alley, but like. Seriously. Mutant turtles? You can’t make this stuff up, dude.

Draxum sighed very deeply, scowling at their group.

“Very well,” he said, and he snapped his fingers.

Things became unfunny very, very quickly. 

If the air had become cold earlier, now it became startlingly hot, just for a moment, the alley rising up at least five degrees, and Leo heard this choked, startled gasp that he immediately recognized as his twin brother. At the same time, a blinding, almost familiar flash of white light overtook the alley, and Leo hissed, flinching away. 

When he looked back, he was horrified to find that where his brother had been standing just a moment ago there was instead some sort of green, scaled creature, their eyes slitted and their skin leathery and bumped, and he thought, what the hell happened to my brother? And after a moment of silence, all of them staring in dazed shock, the reptile flailed, floundered, held its own hands up to its face as if to examine them, and promptly began screaming. 

And Leo recognized his own brother's screams, so instead he was thinking: what the hell happened to my brother?!

“What did you do?!” Leo shrieked. Behind him, Mikey screamed, too, and he could hear April spluttering out an impressive string of curse words. He just barely resisted the urge to race over to Donnie’s side, to check if he was okay, (he’s not okay, he knows he’s not okay,) to try to help him, to fix it, because he couldn’t just turn his back on the enemy in front of them-- couldn’t ignore the very obvious threat.

“I simply removed the cloaking enchantment as he requested,” Draxum responded calmly. He even looked amused, almost, the very corners of his lips turning up.

“You what!? What the hell are you-- fix it!!! Turn him back!!!” Leo demanded, his voice rising with the very edges of panic, his pulse climbing ever-steadily higher the longer he listened to his siblings scream.

The other sighed deeply, tilting their head to the side. “Do you still not understand? Fine, then. I’ll show you as well.” 

Snap.

Leo wouldn’t describe the experience as painful, but it really wasn’t pleasant, either. He swore he could feel his skin being stripped away and reforming; it was like his skeleton itself was being rearranged, his entire body becoming fluid for just a split second before solidifying again in new places, new patterns, new spaces. An unfamiliar weight pulled at his shoulders, forcing his spine to bend, and his hands and feet fell in a way that now felt unnatural to him. His skin seemed to lay over his muscles differently now.

He was vaguely aware of Mikey screaming somewhere behind him a second time, echoing Donatello’s continued wails. 

“Guys?” April bit out, her voice high and frightened.

What the hell happened to him?

“What-- what did you do?” Leo repeated himself, his eyes wide, straining, because his vision was ever-so-slightly different than it had been a few seconds ago and he didn’t know how to adjust. He swore to god he was frozen in place. He wasn’t sure when he had ended up on his knees, but he was shaking so hard, he supposed he wasn’t surprised.

What the fuck happened to his body?

“Now are you convinced?” The yokai pressed. “Now, we will be going to my lab whether you want to or not. We can either do this the easy way or the hard way. I would highly recommend the easy way,” he hummed, giving a sharp sweep of his arms. Wind tugged at his back and Leo had just barely the presence of mind to glance behind him, his eyes widening in horror to see this huge expanse of black opening up behind him. 

Mikey-- (Mikey? They were small, they were wearing Mikey’s clothes, it must be Mikey--) yelped loudly, the inky cloud yanking him from his feet. April jumped, attempting to grab her baby brother, though she only succeeded in falling into him-- both of them swallowed up into the portal. Raph gave a strangled howl of protest, diving right after them, and Donnie was sucked up as well, disappearing from Leo’s sight. His heart thudded wildly in his ears. He could feel the magick yanking at him, trying to pull him in as well. 

But Leo had always been the fastest. 

Every shred of him was screaming to follow, to chase after his family, to go with his sister and brothers, but he tensed his muscles, his stance widening and holding firm as he set his sights back on the yokai towering before him. A tiny voice in his head whispered in his ears that following wouldn’t help--

No, he had to move forward. This guy was the one hurting them.

Get him.

Leo wasn’t sure if he had leapt forward or if he simply was there. Everything was moving too quickly for even him to follow, the blinding white of panic and rage eating hungrily at the edges of his vision, threatening to overtake him. Either way, he lunged, a cry of protective fury wringing itself from his chest.

 "Stay away from my brothers," he snarled, his own throat staggering painfully with the force with which he screamed out his warning, his hands flying forward to grab the yokai by his throat, slamming into him at full speed. He felt the alien velvet fuzz of Draxum’s skin beneath the tear of his fingernails (claws) even as the pair of them were flung from their feet. Gravity was stolen from them both, the portal behind them reaching out to consume them. 

Everything went black. For just a second, tumbling through nothingness, floating through the sizzling rush of magick itself, Leo couldn’t see anything. He couldn’t hear anything, all he could feel was the body of the yokai against him, struggling against his grip, attempting to throw him away. 

And then this bright, searing lavender light came singing through the world. It didn’t reflect or bounce; nothing was lit up by it. Leo still could not see himself, could not even find the outline of his own hands or fingers. But this brilliant, complex pattern of the palest, gentlest pastel purple lit up bright before him, swirling and twisting in foreign shapes, and Leo just barely recognized that the ribbon of runes they formed echoed the shape of the yokai he had just grabbed.

The body he was clinging to went limp.

The next second, the wind was knocked out of him as they made impact with stone, light coming streaming back into his universe. Leo found himself landing in a heap in their new location, the portal disappearing behind them. Oddly, however, the crash landing didn’t hurt near as much as he would have expected it to.

“Leo!” He heard Raph cry. Leo groaned, still dazed, looking around blearily. Where the hell were they? He glanced over at the yokai who he had yanked through the portal with them, only to find them in an awkward slump just a few paces away, completely limp and seemingly unconscious. 

“Are you okay? What happened?” Raph demanded, moving quickly to his side. Mikey was already all bundled up in his arms, shaking like a leaf and absolutely clinging to him for dear life like he was going to fall apart if he let go. And Leo couldn’t even blame him if he did. Mikey had always been the smallest of them, and Raph always the biggest, but Leo thought dimly that the size difference between them now was fucking bananas.

Jesus christ. Raph was fucking huge. And… spiky. Was he a goddamn dinosaur? What the fuck.

“I-- yeah-- I-- I think the goatman got knocked out--” He stammered, still reeling slightly, trying to collect himself, to gather himself, adrenaline still rushing through his veins like it was a racetrack. 

Somewhere in the background, Donnie fucking screamed, and Leo immediately forgot about everything else, his head whipping around. 

“Donnie!” He cried, on his feet in a second, rushing over to his brother’s side. He had no idea where they were, not having yet taken stock of the location. He was only dimly aware that they were someplace cold and dark, with stone and concrete above, below, and around them. Donnie had pressed himself up against one of the walls, his entire body rigid and his head bent forward, his arms fluttering wildly beside his head in such a way that Leo recognized he was fighting not to hit himself. Good job, Dee. The screaming continued, but every wail that wrenched its way out of Donnie’s mouth was short and grinding, repeating itself over and over like an alarm. It was fucking terrifying. Not for him, but for Donnie, because he could tell that they were completely, totally not in control. Just panicking.

“Hey. Hey, hey, it’s okay, I’m right here, Don. It’s alright. It’s okay, you’re safe, I’m right here, hermano,” he tried to soothe, forcing his voice down, calm, steady. He knew better than to touch Donnie, but he would reach over just long enough to tap a button on the side of his headphones that he knew would flip the device into white noise mode. Donnie jerked slightly in response, and the screaming stopped, at least, but he didn’t relax. His arms still fluttered and flapped anxiously, and he shifted just enough to begin rocking back and forth, clenching his jaw and grinding his teeth so hard that Leo was afraid he was going to hurt himself. His chest absolutely shook with the panicked, shuddering breaths he was taking, hyperventilating so hard that his entire body trembled in response.

“Come on, Donnie, it’s alright. It’s okay. We’re safe, Mikey and Raph and April are safe, we’re gonna be okay, but you’ve gotta breathe, dude. Can you try it with me? Like this? We’ve gotta calm down a little bit--” Leo pressed on because this was not his first rodeo. He wasn’t quite as adept at handling these things as their dad was, and at this point, Donnie was pretty good at avoiding meltdowns and panic attacks, armed with tools and tricks and years of therapy, but sometimes they were unavoidable and Leo had always known how to calm them down, always been able to step up and help, the same way Donnie could for him--

But Donnie wasn’t calming down. Donnie wouldn’t even look up at him. Rather, Donnie scrunched up harder, curled his lips, and fucking hissed at him.

And, okay, look, it wasn’t the first time Donnie had hissed at them. Donnie used to love to hiss at people when they were little kids, though nowadays he was more likely to express annoyance with declarations such as “groan” or “scoff” or “eye-roll.” But he didn’t hiss like this.

He sounded fucking feral. Even more than that, he sounded fucking terrified. He looked like a goddamn cornered animal, his eyes blown out and huge, the scaly skin that now made up his form stretched tight over shivering muscles and his lips drawn back over sharp, pointed teeth. And Leo looked down at his own clawed, three-fingered hand and came to a horrible realization.

He couldn’t help because Donnie couldn’t recognize him. They were panicking because they were in this crazy, fucked up body that wasn’t theirs, and Leo was in a fucked up body that wasn’t his, and looking at him was just a reminder of everything wrong. He was just scaring them more. His being here was just making things worse, and Leo’s throat tied itself in a knot, swelling up as the backs of his eyes pinched with the thought.

“April,” he called, his voice cracking slightly as he desperately turned to look for his sister. She wasn’t far off, watching from a short distance with obvious worry, and she blinked in surprise at the sound of her name.

“Help me.”

---

If Leo was being completely honest, he hadn’t even realized that Donnie wasn’t still nearby. The two of them typically stuck together like glue whenever they were at school. Leo would usually lead the way, and Donnie would trail after, with Leo doing most of the talking and socializing for both of them. And once Donnie got sick of whatever they were doing, he would simply drag Leo off to sit and read or work on some project or puzzle for a while, and Leo would oblige and keep him company. Donnie was always close by, and Leo wasn’t even aware that this wasn’t currently the case, too absorbed in his latest arts and crafts project, until he heard a telltale, high-pitched whine from across the room.

He was on his feet in seconds, abandoning the activity and his classmates to scuttle off in search of his twin brother. Luckily, he wasn’t too hard to find. Both because he was pretty loud, and also because their substitute teacher was crouched down next to him. She was nice enough, Leo thought, but not quite as cool as Miss Mitchelle was, and he wasn’t sure if Donnie liked her at all. It definitely didn’t seem like he liked her too much right now with how he was all balled up, and Leo wasted no time at all in planting himself physically between the two.

Donnie immediately gravitated towards his brother and Leo moved a bit closer in turn, giving Miss Substitute (he didn’t remember her name,) a very displeased look.

“He doesn’t like whatever you’re doing,” he declared firmly.

Miss Substitute’s expression twitched and faltered for a moment before it settled back into something patient and pleasant, though Leo still didn’t quite trust it. “Leo,” she said, “I was just trying to talk with your brother--”

“I can talk to him,” Leo assured immediately, not bothering to listen to the remainder of her sentence because he couldn’t imagine it would be all that important or interesting. He turned to face Donnie instead. “It’s okay. I can always understand him, ‘cause we have a secret twin language. We made it up. Only we can speak it,” he declared proudly, crouching down to lean in towards his brother, his arms wrapped around his knees.

Donnie was still whining a bit, curled up into a ball and shoved halfway inside of a cubby, his arms crossed protectively over his head as he rocked. And yeah, he was obviously upset, though Leo wasn’t completely sure why yet. As such, he got to work, conversing with his twin in the previously mentioned secret twin language.

… And.

Okay.

So.

They didn’t actually have a secret twin language.

But it was close enough! It wasn’t a language, per se, ‘cause it didn’t have words, just noises and chirps and trills and squeaks and babbles. But he still always got the gist of what Donnie was saying, and Donnie would get the gist of what he was saying, too, so it worked. Sooner or later, he could pretty much always get an understanding of what Donnie was meaning based on the inflection or tone of his noises, as well as calm the other down enough so that Leo could coax a couple of signs out of him, so Leo figured it was close enough to language.

Plus, the ‘language’ itself always seemed to kind of settle Donnie down when he was upset like this. Once Leo started humming and squeaking at him, Donnie gradually started to answer with his own chirps and clicks, and, little by little, Leo watched their twin’s body untense and unwind. Leo grinned, moving to sit properly by him, and Donnie moved closer, edging just a bit out of his hiding spot so he could shove himself up against Leo’s side instead, resting his head against his shoulder and settling in there, an indignant scowl still on his face.

Leo grinned, puffing out his chest a bit as he shot Miss Substitute a look. See? He told her so. He and Donnie always understood each other, no matter what, and he could always fix it when Donnie wasn’t feeling good! He was basically the best brother in the entire world. Confident that he understood the problem, he turned back to face Miss Substitute.

“He said you’re not doing the schedule right, and we’re supposed to do math right now,” he announced, crossing his arms over his chest. And he hadn’t even noticed, but Donnie was right, they did usually do math lessons during this part of the day-- not arts and crafts. “And also, he doesn’t like the paper fish we’re doing ‘cause the glue feels bad. So we gotta find something else to do,” he insisted. “‘Cause otherwise Donnie and I aren’t playing.”

Donnie nodded a tiny bit from behind him, and Leo beamed with pride. Understanding Donnie and calming him down wasn’t even that hard. He didn’t get why adults besides Dad had such a hard time with it sometimes. You really just had to listen to him. 

---

It took a while for April to calm Donnie back down, (or at least get him as calm as they possibly could be in such circumstances,) but she managed after a bit, his panicked breaths eventually dying down into something a bit more even and steady. Thank god. Mikey thought dimly to himself that he had never seen Donnie freak out so bad, but... he supposed he couldn't really blame him. 

He frowned a bit, looking down at his own, unfamiliar hands, and he curled up a bit more, his tail tucking in (oh my god, he had a tail,) as he clung to Raph's plastron (oh my god, Raph had a plastron.) And though it still held comfort, the fold of his biggest brother's arms, bundled up close and held there, this place that he had known his whole life... it suddenly felt foreign, too. Everything was hard and jagged and cold. And even worse-- it was unfamiliar. 

He kept staring at his own hands because he couldn't stop himself, and it made his stomach wobble. He wondered bleakly what his own face looked like because he had no idea. He wouldn't even recognize himself in the mirror. 

 Now that Donnie had finally settled a bit, though he was still curled up and pressed just against April's side, just barely not touching but still squeezed up small against her, Leo finally got up to his feet-- only to immediately lose his balance, falling over onto his back with a loud clunk.

"Leo!" Raph's eyes widened, his muscles immediately bunching up, ready to jump up and go grab his brother. Mikey could tell that he was just barely resisting the urge to scoop up all three of them and bundle them up in his arms and just hang onto them for a while. He had been sitting here long enough for Mikey to notice how fast his heart was beating. Mikey’s was keeping pace. Leo kind of flailed for a second before he managed to redirect the momentum to roll over onto his side, getting himself back onto his hands and knees. A wry, strangled laugh forced its way out of him.

"Alright. Well. Pro tip: center of gravity is weird now," he remarked dryly, his voice strained. "But the good news is falling doesn't even hurt anymore! So that’s great!"

It didn't get a laugh out of anyone. After a moment of hesitation, Mikey slowly wriggled his way from Raph's grip, making his way over to Leo's side. He didn't dare try to walk after watching Leo's attempt, noting that it seemed to be more difficult now without the rush of adrenaline to aid them, so he instead stayed in a crouch, sort of half-hopping-half-crawling over. Raph followed shortly after in a similar manner.

"Can I see?" He questioned softly, and when Leo didn't deny him, he leaned over slightly, moving his hoodie (which was now a very awkward fit,) out of the way enough so that he could examine the edges of his brother's new shell.

(Oh my god. His brother's shell. What kind of a sentence was that? What kind of weird, fucked up make-believe world were they suddenly in? Leo was his brother. He didn't have a shell. He had cool brown skin. He had bouncy blonde curls that Mikey had helped him bleach and dye a red streak in. He had vitiligo 'stripes' over his eyes. He had a bad habit of cycling through boyfriends and insomnia and a shockingly large vocabulary... but he didn't have a shell. He didn't have scales or stripes or claws or a tail.)

He looked anyway, running the tips of his fingers over the top of it, following the curve. He couldn't quite tell if he was feeling the texture of the shell, or just the texture of his own fingers, which were different than they had been; covered in scales, the skin thicker and rougher than it had been before. Bending his joints felt odd, and he couldn't help himself from doing it over and over, as if that might help him get used to it faster. 

 Every part of his brother’s shell was this cool, ocean blue, just edging on teal in some places, and Mikey thought to himself that, in the very least, it matched his life color perfectly. 

He swallowed hard and resisted the tears that were building up in his eyes. He didn’t want to cry right now. He didn’t even know what he was crying about. Because he was scared? Because he was overwhelmed? He wasn’t very good at not crying, but he forced it down, his hands trembling a bit with the effort of it.

 "Does it look the same as mine?" He heard himself asking, his eyes flickering over to meet Leo's (which were now not something he recognized, looking more animal than person, though they still retained the same, familiar almond shape. The color, however, he realized, was slightly different. Leo's eyes were brown. All of their eyes were brown, so dark that they were almost black, but now, instead, Leo's eyes were mismatched; one of them dark blue, like water in a cove, like the sea at night, and the other dark red, like ink with blood, like black cherries.) 

"I dunno," Leo laughed, though his voice was still shaking. "I don't know what mine looks like."

"They're... kinda the same…" Raph observed from nearby, leaning over slightly to examine them both. His voice sounded kind of hollow, like he wasn’t really there. Sort of far-off. "I mean. The parts I can see. Mikey, yours is more... orangey. And bumpier," he said. "And yours is spotty. Leo's is kinda... stripey." 

"Yours is huge," Leo observed with a chuckle, glancing over at their biggest brother, who was always the tallest and largest by a wide margin, but now absolutely dwarfed the rest of them. "And... spiky. You're all spiky. And… and fucking huge, dude. You look like you have fucking paws. And your mouth is all..." He laughed again, scrubbing anxiously at his face with his hands. "You look like a fucking snapping turtle."

Mikey paused a bit at that, glancing over at the other.

Donnie must have said or signed something that the rest of them didn’t catch, because April spoke up next, clearly addressing him. "Uhm, no, yours is... uh. It's kind of flat? And..." There was a pause. "Oh, oh my god, it's, like, squishy!" She squealed, everyone else in the room jumping in response, before she tamped down the noise, biting her lip and getting a handle on her reaction. "Sorry! Sorry, I just. I just wasn't expecting that texture, that's all! It doesn't... feel like what I thought a shell would feel like, I guess."

"Are we different kinds of... turtles?" Mikey questioned, tilting his head to the side. He wanted to laugh at himself when he said turtles. I mean, seriously, turtles? Of all the creatures in the world, turtles? Why were they turtles?

"I guess we must be," Leo sighed, resting his chin on his knee. "We obviously look different." 

Mikey frowned, and he thought that his lips might be trembling if he had proper lips anymore, but he wasn't sure if he did or if they could tremble or what that would feel like if they did. Okay, fine. Now there were a few tears. 

"Does that mean we're not brothers?" 

A beat of silence followed.

"We're not," Donnie said, and quite frankly, Mikey was surprised to hear him speaking. Small miracles? Kinda…?

"Yeah, we are. Don't be crazy," Raph immediately refuted, his brows (er... brows? Place where brows once were?) furrowing together, and Mikey was desperately relieved to see that the space in between still wrinkled into a crease the same way they always did. "Of course we're brothers."

"Evidently, we're not even the same species," Donnie hissed out bitterly, drawing himself up even closer, even smaller, into a little ball. "It's literally impossible."

"Come on, Dee--"

"We're not even human!" Donnie snapped, hunching up his shoulders. "We're not even people!"

"Hey, look, come on you guys," April tried to soothe, holding up her hands as if to calm the group. "It doesn't matter if you're turtles! It doesn't matter to me. I love you guys no matter what--"

"Oh, wow, what a comfort!" Donnie scoffed, and April bristled.

"Okay, look, I am trying to be helpful! I know that this fucking sucks but you do not need to take out your nasty attitude on me!"

Leo suddenly laughed-- loudly, painfully-- tilting his head back and letting his shoulders slump so he could stare up at the ceiling. "Oh my god. Jesus christ. We're not people," he bit out in between his barely restrained hysterics, squeezing his eyes shut. "We're freaks, dude!"

"Leo, c'mon." 

"We're not even people!!!" He repeated. "Fuck. We never even had a chance, and we didn't even know it!... Oh my god, we’re such morons!!! Hahaha-- welp! This is it! Pack it in, boys, it’s all over!"

"Leo, chill. What are you even talkin’ about?"

"Did you know I was gonna go on T?" He questioned, turning around sharply, suddenly, to face Raph. "Me and Dad were talking about it. For, like, a while now. And I was gonna start T, finally. Do you know how much I wanted to do that? Do you know how long I've been waiting to get to do that?"

Raph frowned. "Leo... This doesn't mean--"

"How the fuck is that going to work now!?" He interrupted. "How is anything gonna work now? We're fucking! REPTILES! Raph!!!"

"I KNOW THAT!" Now Raph was yelling, too, and Mikey flinched a bit, hiccuping softly as he drew himself down, retreating slightly, halfway into his shell (oh my god, he can do that now?) "You think you're the only one who was lookin' forward to stuff? I was--" He cut himself off, breathing in deep and then letting it out slow, his jaw tensed.

"Look. I know this... sucks. But it's not gonna help to just throw in the towel right now and mourn shit that we don't even know is gone yet, alright? We'll... figure it out," he said. "We don’t even know what’s goin’ on, so let’s just… let's just try to figure it out first. Okay?" 

Leo frowned. He looked down and to the side, tightening his hands into fists, but he didn't have any rebuttal. After a moment, he took a deep breath, pulling himself up to his feet for a second time. He tottered for a moment, his arms windmilling until he found his balance and this time he stayed on his feet. He looked around the room for a moment before his eyes fell on the limp form of Baron Draxum, still crumpled in a heap some odd paces away.

"What do we do with that guy?"

All of their eyes snapped over, as though they had all just remembered that he was there in the first place.

"Did you knock him out, dude?!" Raph questioned, his eyes widening slightly. 

"No! I mean. I don't think so. Not exactly," Leo said. "It's, like-- he grabbed me and some sort of mystic-magic-whatever thing happened. He lit up with a bunch of symbols and he just... went down. I dunno what happened." 

"Well," Raph said, sighing deeply before he pulled himself to his feet as well, doing a similar rock and wobble to Leo before he figured out the new balance he had to strike, correcting his own footing. His long tail swung back and forth behind him, assumedly on instinct, to help. "We dunno how long he's gonna stay down, so we oughta find a way out of here and put some distance between us and him ASAP. We already know where Dad is, anyway."

"Maybe we can figure out where we are," Donnie mumbled bleakly, pulling himself to his feet as well. He seemed to struggle much less than his brothers did, and Mikey noted that his back rounded less than theirs. April got up as well, sticking close to his side, but perhaps hovering a bit less now. 

Mikey watched as his family rose up, one by one, finding their feet again. And something in his chest unwound and loosened again. A breath he hadn't realized he had been holding came tumbling out of him.

He didn't know his own face anymore. And he didn't recognize his brothers when he looked at them.

But they were still them. Already, Mikey was completely sure of it. And the change, while still terrifying, felt just a tiny bit less devastating. 

He hadn’t lost them yet.

Bracing himself for the coming challenge, he rose up to his feet as well. The unfamiliar weight on his back was more than he had expected and attempted to drag him down, and he stumbled slightly, nearly toppling over onto his back the same way Leo had the first time-- but Raph grabbed his wrist before he could, pulling him forward and correcting him, and Mikey was relieved to find his center of gravity once more. Usually, he would complain about his big brother stepping in, preferring to do things on his own rather than being 'babied' by his older family members, but...

 Right now, it was actually okay. 

"Okay. Let's do this." 

(They took about three steps before Raph yelped and tripped over his own tail.)

---

Though they had tied up the so-called "Baron Draxum" with whatever rope and other scrap they could find in this place, (the longer they were here, the more Donnie began to suspect it was a lab of some kind,) none of them were very confident that it would be able to hold him for very long, if at all, and so they all got to work trying to figure out an exit. But to call this place 'maze-like' was a bit of an understatement.

"This is the worst landmark ever," April hissed in frustration as they turned a corner, only to once again be met with a hog-tied yokai, face-down on the concrete. "We keep going in circles!"

"Okay, look," Donnie sighed. "I know we don't want to linger here any more than we have to, but let's look around a bit and see if there's anything useful lying around to get us out of here. Clearly just walking out isn't getting us anywhere." 

There was a chorus of grunts and mumbles of agreement from the rest of his family, and the group slowly fanned out, beginning their search. It was dark here, wherever they were. The ground beneath his feet was cold, with him and his brothers having already ditched and stowed their sneakers and boots after realizing how awkward and painful it was to walk in them with their new wide, two-toed feet. 

The space was wide and almost circular, with various tunnels branching off at different levels, all leading away to who-knew-where. Several desks and tables were scattered about the space, each surface covered in everything from charts to pipettes to oddly-shaped jars filled with oddly-colored substances. Donnie just barely resisted the urge to sit down and start working, or to begin snatching and pocketing things as he found them. Instead, he took a liberal amount of photographs of everything they found on his phone.

 His impulse control could only get him so far, however, and his eyes narrowed as they fell across a small, purpley-pink gem that lay on the desk, suspended within a small glass case. This certainly looked interesting... Geology wasn't really a passion of his, but something about this just seemed... intriguing. He couldn't quite place it...

 Surely no one would miss this, right? It was small! It would be silly not to take it, quite frankly, and he slipped it into his pocket as quietly as he could when he was sure no one else was looking. 

Now, if only he could find some blueprints of the tunnels... But that would be too easy, wouldn't it?

"So," Mikey said after a minute or so of them searching, and Donnie sighed internally. Of course, they couldn't expect him to stay quiet for that long. "If Raph is a snapping turtle, and me and Leo are turtle-turtles, then what kind of a turtle is Donnie?"

Donnie rolled his eyes, scowling. "Okay, well, first of all, do we really have to discuss this?" He hissed, immediately bristling. "I’d highly prefer we not address the proverbial elephant in the room, thank you! Second of all, 'turtle-turtle' is not a species."

"Yeah, but, like, we have turtle shells!" Mikey explained. "But April said yours is squishy. So what does that make you?"

Donnie sighed deeply. Talking about this made his skin itch.

"A softshell turtle, I suppose."

"A softshell?" Leo questioned, raising a brow. "That's a thing?"

"Yes."

"How do you know that off the top of your head?" Raph questioned.

"Some of us actually paid attention during biology classes," he responded dryly. And having a near-photographic memory did, admittedly, help as well…

"Whoa!" Mikey absolutely beamed. "That's so cool! Now we just gotta figure out what kind of turtles me and Leo are!"

"Well, I'd look it up if we had any service. And also if it was even close to being an appropriate time for us to waste our efforts on something like that," Donnie said with a roll of his eyes. He knew that Mikey was just distracting himself, finding a silver lining so he didn’t break down, but Donnie didn’t want to think about it, didn’t want to think about how much of their entire lives was completely fabricated, about how--

He snorted, suddenly doubling over with laughter.

"What?" April questioned, raising a brow.

"I just-- I just realized!" Donnie laughed. "Our... our moms must be turtles! Fucking turtles!"

There was a beat of silence as this sunk in before Raph gave a similar reaction. "Damn! I guess you're right, huh?"

"Do you have any idea how much time I wasted in therapy talking about this?" Donnie squeaked out through giggles. "I spent so much time with Mossy talking about our mom and how she didn't want us or whatever the fuck and about the stuff she did to Dad and how I couldn't remember her, and she-- she was never even real! None of that ever even happened! She was just a fucking turtle, wasn't she!? We don’t even have a real mom!"

"Whoa! Mind... blown. I didn't even think about that..." Mikey gaped, his eyes wide. "This whole time I just assumed that our mom was probably the hotel lady..."

"Yeah, me too," Leo agreed.

Donnie blinked.

"You what?"

"Well, you know, that woman that Dad was datin’ right before he disappeared," Raph said. "And she runs the Grand Nexus Hotel, right? All the articles I ever read always mentioned her."

Donnie's eyes twitched. "You thought she was our mother?" He questioned.

"Well, that's who Dad was datin’ last! And for a long time, too. It'd make sense, wouldn't it?" Raph defended.

"Yeah. You didn't think that?" Leo said.

"NO! Why would I think that?!" Donnie was laughing again.

Leo huffed in offense, crossing his arms over his chest. "I'm sorry, do you know something we don't?"

"Apparently!" Donnie exclaimed. "Guys, you've seen pictures of her, right?!"

"Well, yeah?" Mikey tilted his head to the side.

"She's pale as fuck!"

"So?"

"And our Dad is Japanese!"

"And? Donnie, what's your point?"

"We're black!"

"... Ooooohhhhh," all three of his brothers said, nearly in unison, after Donnie's argument finally sunk in.

"Oh my god," Donnie laughed, covering his face with his hands, scrubbing tears from his eyes. "You're all so fucking dumb..."

"I guess our mom would have had to be black. I mean. We got the Japanese half from Dad, but... I never really thought about where the other half came from..." Raph admitted, his mouth still slightly agape like he was still rolling the thought about in his head. 

"Wait a minute," April said, her hands on her hips. "I mean, yeah, all that makes sense, but if you guys have secretly been turtles this whole time, then why are you black?"

"Dude, are all turtles black?" Mikey questioned, his eyes widening.

"I cannot discuss this any further. I'll get a migraine and furthermore cease to function, as I am, and I cannot stress this enough, just barely suppressing the gravity of this whole situation right now," Donnie sighed, gesturing to himself as he turned back to the desk in front of him. "Did anyone find anything yet?"

"Not yet," April sighed, shuffling through some papers. "What even is all this junk?"

"I'm not sure. Some sort of research, it seems like..." Donnie mused, sort of thumbing through a book as he spoke, reading key phrases and chunks of text as quickly as he could and making mental notes so he could refer back to it later. He was more than happy to have something else to focus on, though this would admittedly be a lot easier with human hands. "But I'm still not sure where--"

Shhhh shhhh.

Donnie paused mid-sentence, his brows furrowed. He hadn't noticed that sound before now. He tilted his head a bit to the side, turning in its direction, trying to zero in.

"... Donnie?"

"What's that noise?" He questioned aloud, though his voice was barely above a whisper.

Shhhh shhhhh.

He knew that noise. He recognized it. Where had he heard it before?

Shhhh shhhhh.

... Water, he realized with a start. The noise was running water. Of course. How had he never realized this before?...

That's what he was hearing. That's what he had heard.

"Dee? You good?"

"Guys," he said, turning just enough to glance over in their direction. His face suddenly felt like glass. It was odd. "I think... I think we're in the sewer," he said. "... And I think we've been here before...?"

Before anyone could say anything further, a new noise filled up the space.

Skrrrtttccchhhhh.

---

"What was that?!" Mikey shrieked, immediately leaping behind his biggest brother to hide. Leo and Donnie were instantly gravitating to each other as well, falling into stance on instinct as they stood back to back, each covering the other. 

"It sounds like something scratching," April said thoughtfully, and true to her word, the same skritching noise clawed its way through the air a moment later, echoing slightly against the walls. "I think it's coming from over here!"

"April!" Raph hissed off a protest as she took off, heading in the direction of the sound. "We don't know what that is!"

"We will if we go look!" She chirped in reply. I mean, come on, what was the benefit of hiding over here instead of investigating? Weren't they curious either way? Besides, they were stuck here regardless-- maybe they'd find something helpful.

The noise continued as April searched, peering around corners and down tunnels, until, finally, she found her prize. Tucked inside one of the off-shoot tunnels, one of the many dead-ends that seemed to surround this space, was a proverbial treasure trove. A variety of odds and ends filled the space; various amulets and scrolls and chests and even weapons were leaned up against the wall or stacked up on the ground. In fact, a lot of weapons were in here. Was this some kind of a weird armory? Or a trophy room? What kind of sewer has a trophy room?

But most interestingly, she found the source of the noise. Inside a small, dimly lit orb, looking as though it were made of some sort of glass, or perhaps even light, was one of the oddest creatures April had ever seen, clawing sadly at the surface of its prison. It had ears like a chihuahua, pointed and too big for its head, with tufts of fur poofing out from inside, but huge eyes like some kind of a cat. Pointed tusks stuck from its mouth like a boar, but soft, downy yellow-and-blue fur covered its entire, squirrel-like body, complete with a fluffy, wriggly tail.

"AW, you guyyssss!" She called out. "Come look! It's cute!"

"April!" The guys were right behind her, with Raph leading the charge. "You can't just run off like-- jumpin' jack flash! What the heck is that thing?!"

"I dunno!" April said with a shrug, immediately making her way into the room, scooping up the orb so she could examine it, looking for a way to open it up. The little critter inside pattered about excitedly, its claws clicking against the smooth surface. "Help me figure out how to get him outta here."

"Are you sure about that?" Leo questioned. "No offense, but we have nooo idea what that thing is! Maybe it's, I dunno, locked up for a reason?"

"What? C'mon, guys, we've gotta help!" Mikey protested, turning on them with big, pleading eyes. Nice, April thought, with Mikey on her side she had basically already won. Suck it, middle children. "Plus, he was locked up by Draxum. So he can't be bad!"

"Yeah! Ever heard ‘the enemy of my enemy is my friend?’" April added in.

"I'm not convinced," Donnie said, crossing his arms over his chest. "I mean, has anyone else noticed that pretty much everything else in this room is a weapon of some kind? Isn't that maybe a bit telling?"

"Aw, come on, Dee. Look at this face!" April insisted, holding up the orb to the others. The creature, to their credit, played their part, pulling an absolutely pitiful face which Mikey immediately echoed, turning to his brothers with watery eyes. 

Checkmate.

"Okay, okay, fine. Look, there's gotta be something in here that can help us bust him out..." Leo muttered, beginning to pick his way through the contents of the room with Raph, Donnie, and Mikey following suit shortly after. 

"Here, what about these?" Leo said after a moment, turning to face them with a pair of twin katanas in hand. "Think I could slice that bad boy open with these guys?"

April scoffed, clutching the orb close to her chest. "Uhm, and this guy in half, maybe!" She protested. "Can we try something a little less deadly, please?"

"Aw, come on! These are cool," Leo protested, grinning as he twirled them in his hands with a metallic shwing.

"You just like them because you always win at any swordsmanship event at tournaments," Donnie remarked dryly, grabbing a long wooden staff to hold in his hands, testing the weight of it. "... That being said, should we maybe grab some of these just in case?"

"Whaddya mean?" Raph glanced over at the other.

"Well, we haven't even made it to the Hidden City yet, and we've already been attacked once," Donnie reasoned, placing a hand on his hip and frowning. "So it wouldn't exactly be a bad idea to have some weapons on hand in case of an emergency." He spun the bo staff in his hands appraisingly a few times. "I mean, obviously this is a bit underwhelming, but I'm sure I could make some improvements once we got back home..."

"Sounds like a good plan to me! Look at all the stuff they’ve got!” Mikey cheered, immediately diving in, beginning to sort through all the various options they had in the room. He chuckled darkly, swinging a pair of nun-chucks in his hands. “These’ll do…”

“Yo, guys!” Raph called, waving to get his brothers’ attention before pointing to the very far corner of the room. “If we’re gonna take stuff, why don’t we take the glowy ones?”

There was, in fact, a weapons rack filled with floating, vaguely glowing weapons, tucked away in the shadows, which only made the glow all that much more tempting. They were simply begging to be taken.

Mikey and Leo, almost in unison, gasped, their faces absolutely lighting up as they raced over to join Raph. “Ooh, dibs on the sword!” Leo cheered, immediately snatching up the odachi and repeatedly striking poses.

“Hot soup! Check me out!” Mikey snatched up a bright orange kusari-fundo, absolutely beaming ear-to-ear. Raph was nearly drooling as he laid his claim on a pair of tonfas, beaming as he gave a few experimental swings. 

“They’re perfect! No one’ll mess with us now!”

“What about you, Donnie?” April questioned, tilting her head back to glance at the remaining brother. “Don’t you want a glowy weapon?”

“And add yet another unknown, uncontrolled variable to our current situation? I’m good,” Donnie scoffed, rolling his eyes. “I’ve trained with a regular, wooden bo staff. I’ll fight with a wooden bo staff, thank you very much. You all have fun with your likely-radioactive weaponry,” he said, waving them off. 

“Here, April, I got something for you, too,” Mikey chirped excitedly, scampering over to present his find to her. “Ta-da!!! Baseball bat!”

It wasn’t a baseball bat-- it was a club. But close enough! April gasped in delight. “It’s perfect!” She enthused, immediately snatching it up, rolling it around in her hands and tapping it against the side of her shoe a few times. Ooh, and the weight was perfect, too. “And I think it can help us get little guy out of this ball thingie, too! Leo, come hold it still for me!”

 "Aw man, why do I gotta hold it?" Leo muttered in complaint but did as he was told regardless, kneeling down to hold the orb steady, taking care in the placement of his hands to minimize the chances of broken fingers.

 "Alright," April said, backing up a bit, her tongue sticking out from between her lips with focus. "This won't hurt a bit..." 

She swung the club back, taking care to temper her strength, and brought it down on the little ball prison with a satisfying crunch. 

"Did it work?" Mikey gasped, his eyes wide as he leaned over. The orb was not shattered nor laying in pieces; but the side of it had caved in considerably, a spiderweb of cracks blossoming from it, and a second later, it simply dissolved as if it had never been there in the first place. The creature that had previously been trapped inside cracked one eye open, having squeezed itself into the very back of its cage, flinching at the oncoming impact, gave an absolute trill of excitement, darting about in celebration.

"There we go!" April said, grinning wide, her hands planted on her hips. "See, told ya I'd get you outta there! That's better, right?"

The little yellow beast threw itself into her lap, wriggling with joy and nuzzling at her with an enthusiastic wag of its tail. "Okay, okay! You're welcome!" April laughed, giggling as she allowed the creature to clamber about in her arms, allowing it time to bounce about before it finally began to settle again.

"Any chance you know how to get out of here, little guy?"

---

Raph looked up from his phone and his tea at the sound of mail plopping down on the table, glancing over to examine the letters his father had just tossed over in his direction.

"For you," Dad remarked, sorting through the remaining mail from the day.

"For me?" Raph echoed, his brows rising up. "Who the heck is sending me mail?" Curiosity took hold immediately, and he abandoned the wrestling video he had been watching previously in favor of tearing open the letters on the table.

He was surprised to find college brochures inside. His father, however, did not seem all that surprised at all, even adding a couple more to the pile.

"It seems you are in high demand," Dad teased, smiling the tiniest bit. "I have received a few emails as well from recruiters recently."

Raph paused for a moment, rolling this idea about in his brain, trying to figure out what it meant and what it tasted like before he forced a small laugh, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

"Guess they haven't seen my grades yet," he joked weakly. Dad hummed softly, pulling up a chair so he could sit down next to his eldest son.

"Nonsense," he scoffed. "Your grades are fine, Raphael. You've simply tricked yourself into thinking they're not by comparing yourself to others," he added, giving the other a knowing look. "And besides that, this is hardly the only thing that matters. I have told you many times that grades aren't everything. My grades in high school were terrible!" He remarked with a laugh. "And your career in sports is very impressive."

"I guess," Raph said, wrinkling his nose up a bit as he leaned over the table. Easy for him to say. He had a hard time wrapping his head around the idea of colleges being interested in him when his three younger brothers were right here in the same damn house! Had they really meant to send these to Hamato Raphael?

Dad's hand moved to rub little circles into his back, and he nudged his son's teacup a bit. Raph agreeably took a sip, allowing the warm liquid to trickle down through his chest.

"I know you have not always enjoyed schoolwork, Raphael," Dad finally spoke again. "But you are not stupid. You may very well have the most common sense of any of my children!" He chuckled. "And you have many talents besides that. You are a remarkable athlete, and I know I do not have to drag you over to the trophy wall to prove this to you, but I will if I have to. You are only sixteen and you are already the captain of multiple sports teams... not just anyone could handle that! It is difficult to lead a team. But you have always handled this with grace. And teaching children! That is a talent in and of itself. That is no easy task. Trust me, I know," he said, smiling slightly. "But you are doing so well with your new job. And I am very proud of you."

 Raphael glanced over at his father, for just a moment, hesitating like he wanted to say something, but then biting it back.

"You don't have to go to college if you don't want to," Dad added. "If you decide that is not the path for you, that is fine. I won't be upset or disappointed. I did not go to college, either! But I would hate for you to not even consider it just because you don't think you're good enough for it," he pressed. "I know you've always said you intend to pursue a career in sports of some kind, but this is very much an avenue to achieve that if you'd like. Many professional athletes get their start through college sports, you know. And I can already name half a dozen universities off the top of my head who would be thrilled to have you on their team in a couple of years!"

He sighed softly.

"But you do not have to decide right now, my son. There is still plenty of time for you to consider all of your options."

Raph glanced over at his father, shifting a bit in his seat, before looking to the side.

"Uh. I dunno, Pops. I mean. I'm not good at tests and all that junk. I mean. College football could be good 'n all, but, uh..."

He hesitated a second, sort of scratching the side of his jaw, hesitating a bit. "I dunno. Maybe I could... I mean. We could look at it, at least. I was kind of wonderin’ about, uh. I dunno… Just, lately, I was thinkin' about... studyin' early childhood education, maybe?..."

[ next ]

[highpri3stess]

So while we wait for the next chapter of Monsters to see the light of day from my drafts, I’ve decided to come up with something. I wanted to do a character study on each of the main cast to help you guys understand and maybe predict the outcome of the story. This will contain a deep dive analysis on why I chose their colours and some headcanons.

I got the majority of my colour psychology from this site and partially what I observed from watching early 2000’s shows that I grew up with and their characters that match, so if I miss anything, please say so.

Tw. Dark content. The main story warnings stay true to the analysis

Colour Analysis and Characterization:

Emma Sano:

Introduction: Let’s start with the least seen Character but the catalyst of the story, Emma. Just shy of 4’9”, Emma is a powerhouse and to put it simply, a dominating character. When I started writing the story, I thought of how to accent her character without making her a malicious villain like a lot of fics so far or just a place holder best friend that has no chemistry with the reader. I had to rewatch the 2004 Mean Girls and then I watched Clueless, then I recalled really REALLY vague memories of Scream Queens and Gossip Girl which I watched in my childhood and observed each of the popular characters. Regina George, Cher Horowtiz, Chanel Oberlin and Blair Waldorf, they all had something in common. Popularity.

And Emma checks off a lot of the boxes some of these characters have. Seeming well-meaning but often pushy, charismatic, firm and assertive, intelligent AND STREET SMART. She is also to an extent, spoiled, entitled, selfish and short-sighted, often acting without thinking of the consequences, because she never had to face it directly. I leaned into Cher Horowtiz writing Emma because I felt like we needed more nice mean blonde, but also Regina George because well, Emma has done really … uh questionable things in canon-

Colour: Emma wears a lot of pink.

I chose pink because combined with Emma, it gives me that 2000’s nostalgia. It’s a natural look for her, pink lips, blonde hair and yellow eyes, it just compliments her skin you know.

So I read up more about pink from the site and decided to give you an insight on pink according to this site: “The color pink represents compassion, nurturing and love. It relates to unconditional love and understanding, and the giving and receiving of nurturing...

Pink is feminine and romantic, affectionate and intimate, thoughtful and caring. It tones down the physical passion of red replacing it with a gentle loving energy.

Pink is intuitive and insightful, showing tenderness and kindness with its empathy and sensitivity.”

Based on this analysis we can see some traits of Emma in pink. She is compassionate towards the reader, towards her brothers and friends. She’s very understanding; she's a patient person, noting by how she taught the reader how to dress, and how to appear in front of others. She’s the one that taught the reader how to study properly and the importance of having a time table. You can even say she’s like a second, attentive mother to the reader and even to her brothers.

In terms of showing love, she is sensual. If you notice in the smut scene between her and Draken in chapter three, there’s a sense of softcore gentility with him. She’s more of a sensitive and gentle lover, despite her commanding presence. Outside sexual interactions, the people she forms close bonds with are treasured and cherished by her a whole lot. She isn’t afraid to hug people, or hold hands with people or even share a bed with someone. She’s not afraid of her own feelings, personally.

The thing that stands out to me in terms of pink is that blurb on “unconditional love” We can see this clearly in her relationship with both her brothers and especially the reader. With or without romantic feelings, Emma Sano loves everyone. She loves Mikey despite his tendency to be unstable and clueless and adores him, his protective and gentle nature, all the while letting her be her own person. She loves Shinichiro and sees him as the brother who sacrificed everything to be a parent to them. She loves Izana, despite his smothering and rude nature and sees the kind brother that would stay with her when she was scared of the dark, that bought her barbie CD’s as a kid and learned the guitar to play her favorite songs.

And she loves Reader for her gentle nature, being able to see the wonder of the world and teach her life lessons on spending and being intuitive to people’s emotions. She genuinely wants to spend the rest of her life with the reader if given a chance.

She’s bubbly! The life and heart of a party. You can’t stay mad at her if she mistakenly bumps into you or destroys your card deck like in chapter one because who can stay mad when she bats her eyes at you and tells you how the colour you’re wearing is so flattering?

But there’s a catch to pink: “Pink, from a negative color meaning, can represent a lack of willpower, a lack of self-reliance and a lack of self-worth. It can indicate an overly emotional and overly cautious nature.”

Although Emma doesn’t lack will power or self worth, she isn’t exactly self-reliant. From a young age, she had learned that people will be at her beck and call so far as she gives up her independence to them and now it is ingrained in her psyche. It is why she cannot face her critical thinking head on because she’s used to both Mikey and Izana - and now Draken thinking for her in important decisions. Shinichiro indulging her in her bad spending habits as well as spoiling her has made her dependent on them. She makes decisions based on how upset she is for both herself and on behalf of the person wronged, to the point it is detrimental to that person, reader.

Being assertive and open with your emotions is a good thing, but reading the room is another skill that requires patience. Most extroverted people tend to not be able to read people’s emotions or think ahead when they say something. Emma often speaks without thinking and considering what could happen. If she stayed silent for even a minute at the beginning of the story that first night and chose her words carefully or even recognized the weird energy between her brothers and reader for even a second, the events of the story would never have happened.

And lastly, I wouldn’t say she’s a manipulative person and it is not intentional, but she’s insistent on having her own way. Even when Reader expresses some form of discomfort, she still pressures Reader into situations she didn’t want to be in. Ultimately it has led to irreversible, traumatizing experiences for the reader [Being humiliated in Chapter 1 and Witnessing a murder in Chapter 4]. In fact, part of the reason the Sano brothers were initially upset by Reader’s presence was because Emma desperately wanted to get either Mikey or Izana together with her. Unknowingly sending a signal as if she was “Pimping her out or Showing off a gold digger friend.” Eventually, she stopped when she noticed the hostility her friend faced but never told the reader anything.

Izana Kurokawa:

Introduction: The second antagonist AND villain of the fic, Izana is the literal personification of Shaitan.

Izana is a complex character. When writing his pov, I usually write it in a way that you see things through his lens without agreeing with him. When I created his concept, I thought of someone like Elton from clueless at first, but then discarded that idea and decided to go ahead with his canon character and make him twice as bad.

His dressing and fashion sense comes from punk, alternative scenes: Faded Tees, ripped jeans, leather studded belts, biker jackets, red shirts etc Many people would like to tell you that punks are usually cool - and they are, but they can also be huge pieces of shit. He’s the bad boy they warned you about on wattpad but whatever they said he did, it’s the watered down version of whatever crime he commited.

Underneath it all, beyond the facade, Izana is a deeply insecure and sensitive person.

Colour and Character: Izana wears a lot red.

Red is blood. Red is passion and desire. Red is action. Izana is the kind of person to take the bull by the horn and do what he wants to do. It’s very useful in the world of the Yakuza and it is why he thrives more than Mikey. He combines charisma with intelligence and intuitive nature and makes them all work. He’s also someone that if you want something done, he’ll find a way to do it for you. It’s a colour that matches his skin, makes him look charming and intimidating. I chose red to warn and allure people when seeing Izana for the first time.

“The color red is a warm and positive color associated with our most physical needs and our will to survive. It exudes a strong and powerful masculine energy. Red is energizing. It excites the emotions and motivates us to take action. It signifies a pioneering spirit and leadership qualities, promoting ambition and determination.

It is also strong-willed and can give confidence to those who are shy or lacking in will power. Being the color of physical movement, the color red awakens our physical life force.

It is the color of sexuality and can stimulate deeper and more intimate passions in us, such as love and sex on the positive side or revenge and anger on the negative. You usually gain the respect of others quite easily with your practical and grounded attitude and ability to set boundaries.”

Not really sure about Izana’s positivity, but Izana has ability to protect and hold his own in a fight, as well as the tendency to be bold and upfront about his feelings and thoughts about other people.

In terms of masculinity, he’s a huge family guy, knowing how well he would do anything for them, no matter how far it could go. Majority of his problems with reader stem from the fact that her presence keeps tearing his family apart or causes a rift between him and the people he loves.

You can trust him to be honest with you when it is just the two of you alone. We can see that in Chapter three when he and Mikey are fighting and he confronts Mikey about his romantic feelings for the reader. He's also honest about how he feels about his older brother's connection to the reader in Chapter four.

He has passion for his family (Kakucho included) He loves them more than anything in the world, except himself. Sure, he has a strange sense of humor and he riles them up on occasion but he values them as people above everyone else. Even to the point that he shifts the blame to someone else when confronted with the reality of his sibling’s actions -see the bonus scene of chapter four. We know from little snippets of his past in Chapter 2, Izana is capable of emotion and gentility for people around him, but over time has chosen to surpress that part of him unless he is with his siblings, especially Emma.

He’s also the opposite of Emma with his lovers. Emma may be gentle but Izana is hot like blood. He’s all consuming, he takes and takes and takes and when he gives, he is still taking. He likes the thrill of being together with someone far more vulnerable than him and fighting for dominance, only to find out they’re out matched. Despite his arrogance, the reason why many girls flock to him is his allure. There's an excitement to Izana that keeps people aching for more, even if it would hurt them. It is why reader still aches to do nice things for him despite his constant abuse and is still flustered when he makes fun of her or puts her on the spot.

Although, negatively red reflects on Izana's character;

“You are impulsive - you should count to 10 before reacting to situations as it is in these situations that your anger and aggression often appears. You are always in a hurry, wanting to do everything right now. Patience is not one of your strong points. …. Red people can be aggressive and easy to anger, often exhibiting a violent temper - this is negative passion and energy. You flare up instantaneously but calm down quite quickly once you get it out of your system and then forget it ever happened.”

Izana has a terrible temper.

He’s dangerous when he is furious and is very easy to anger. You can see an example of how aggressive he can be in Chapter two, when he attacks the reader for the first time, chapter three when he threatens her and chapter 4 when he yells at her because she has feelings for his brother and then attacks his brother. And his temper often is expressed in physical violence, even to people who he loves.

Izana is physically, emotionally and later sexually abusive. It has a lot to do with his upbringing with him walking on his mother and other men having sex and his general hatred for women. He exhibits a very strange psychosexual behavior and gets some form of sexual gratification from seeing someone humiliated or in pain, especially if he is the cause of it.

He also has a domineering behavior. He loves being on top, trampling on people. He loves driving people up to the wall and breaking them until there’s nothing left. You can see that the split second he saw the fight in the reader’s eyes, there’s an energy that sparked up in him to squash it, to drain her dry.

And the funny thing is, his dominance is fueled by his insecurities and jealousy. In Chapter four, Takeomi makes an interesting comment that gets Izana confused. He is so full if himself that he refuses to sort out his fear of abandonment and inadequacy, and just decides to continue. Takeomi can see how jealous Izana is of Shinichiro, but refuses to admit it. He can see that there's a growing obssession and hidden lustful desire for the reader nestled inside Izana but Izana hates confronting emotions like that, so they build up until he explodes.

In simple terms, Izana is like a trynnical king with no one to stop him.

Manjiro "Mikey" Sano:

If Izana is Satan, then Mikey is Lucifer.

Izana may be the punisher, but Mikey is the tempter. He has a silver tongue, it’s so easy for lies to flow from his lips to anyone’s ears. Izana is straightforward with his intentions, but as for Mikey, he’s far more convoluted.

When writing for Mikey, I thought of his canon character for a bit. It's hard writing someone who is playful and cheeky, overall a nice guy and making them a bad person. Then I remembered that he also murdered all his friends in the manlia timeline and dark impulses and I was like... yknow it may not be that hard.

Colour: Mikey is green

I based Mikey's look off the usual boy next door persona. Like in canon, I gave him his comfy clothes, but with a little bit more style. I chose green because I felt it compliments his dark eyes.

Mikey is the epitome of youthfulness. He's handsome and flirtatous. He cares about his family a whole lot, even Izana. He can be gentle when he wants to and he is in tune with his emotions.

Here's what I saw about green:

"The color green relates to balance and harmony. From a color psychology perspective, it is the great balancer of the heart and the emotions, creating equilibrium between the head and the heart. ... From a meaning of colors perspective, green is also the color of growth, the color of spring, of renewal and rebirth.

Green is an emotionally positive color, giving us the ability to love and nurture ourselves and others unconditionally.

It loves to observe, and therefore relates to the counselor, the good listener, the social worker. It loves to contribute to society.

Being a combination of yellow and blue, green encompasses the mental clarity and optimism of yellow with the emotional calm and insight of blue, inspiring hope and a generosity of spirit not available from other colors.

Green promotes a love of nature, and a love of family, friends, pets and the home... It is generous and loves to share, but it also looks for recognition. It is friendly and can keep confidences.

This is a color that has a strong sense of right or wrong, inviting good judgment. It sees both sides of the equation, weighs them up, and then usually takes the moral stand in making appropriate decisions. On the negative side, it can be judgmental and over-cautious."

It's a strong parallel to Mikey's behaviour. He's a friendly person, noting by the reader's comment on how friendly he is to other girls and women. He can be sweet and considerate, even after doing something henious; he cleaned the reader up and got her food the both times he's been with her. He cares a lot about what Emma and Shinichiro think about him and tries to get on their good side, always, even when he feels he is right.

You can see his observant side in Chapter 1, he notices how the reader would rather be a peaceful person than try anything that could cause problems. He manages to see the solution to their issues with Emma, by being friendly with reader or pretending to be friendly.

He has a strict "moral" code. In chapter 1, he believed Izana's judgement on your choice of clothing and weighed on it because he felt reader was wrong for it, even if he was being hypocritical. In Chapter 3, he fought with Izana for putting his hands on reader because he hates it and believes it is wrong to be violent to a woman. He's angry at reader for choosing dishonest people to surround herself with instead of genuine people and thinks she's foolish for doing so.

He is also, no matter how you put it, a lover boy. The painful truth is, all those texts he sends reader is actually coming from a place of genuine concern. When he starts forming attachments with someone, he starts to worry over them. If reader never went to her dorm and had bumped into him instead in chapter four while she was crying, he would have done everything to change her grades, even getting rid of proffessor Hanabi permanently.

"On the negative, the color green can be possessive and materialistic, with a need to own people and things.

being possessive and materialistic, indifferent and over-cautious, envious, selfish, greedy and miserly, devious with money, inconsiderate, inexperienced, a hypochondriac and a do-gooder."

We can see how possessive Mikey is.

The thing is, he has an obssession with people he claims he loves and wants to own them. He needs to be the center piece of their life or he has no meaning and would feel replaced. It stems from his greed that was fed into as a child. Mikey is charming enough to get the adults to do to his bidding and his friends begrudingly fed into that behaviour. He has a close knit group and he hates having to share that with any outsider, which is why he pushes reader away so vehemently, until Emma began to revolve around her and not him.

Also, he is an envious and possessive person. In Canon, we can see a few examples when Inui mention Takemichi and Mikey got up into his face and was like "No, he's mine-" in the same way, he takes it a step further. Your ability to command attention the same way he did when he was younger has him boiling. He hates that you're the kind of nice he wants to be and his solution is owning you so that he can control who you get to be nice to.

He is also a selfish and self-centered person. It's only what he thinks and what he wants that matters. In Chapter 1, when he's arguing with Emma, he quickly ignores her concerns and tells her to 'come back' to the party because he and Izana are waiting. At the end of the day what matters to him is what he wants. He doesn't care about how his actions affect people, and when you promptly avoid him at the end of chapter 3 and 4, he frigns confusion as to why, despite knowing why.

The thing about greedy people is that they would turn on their own moral code just to get you. Mikey has used physical restaints to hold reader down just to assault her sexually. He has used threats and he would act on them no matter how sick and twisted they are. The end justifies the mean for Mikey and his dark impulses and if it means making you hate him to keep you in his tight knit circle to control you forever, so be it.

Reader

The star of the freak show, the reader is seemingly a clear cut character. She's calm, quiet and patient. She's responsible and ultimately a matyr because she endures a lot of hardships.

I wanted to give her a pink aesthetic at first, but then I rewatched diamond castle and princess and the frog and loved the blue and purple motive in opposite of their pink counterparts. It struck me! Blue is usually the colour of compainionship and innocence and I decided to experiment that with the reader.

Colour and charcter: When I was picking blue, I thought back to the Holy Mary statutes (I am NOT a catholic, it is painfully obvious with the way I mess things up. Thanks for leaving the catholic church btw dad before I was born 😒) and realised that Mary and reader have a lot in common. They are idolized by the same people who would have thrown stones at them had they known they were pregnant out of wedlockback in the days. They are both forced to be this epitome of innocence and virgnity - in some apocrphya Mary was serving as a virgin in a temple before being bethrothed to Joesph and then married off to men twice older than them.

Let's look at what this site says about blue:

"This color is one of trust, responsibility, honesty and loyalty. It is sincere, reserved and quiet, and doesn't like to make a fuss or draw attention. It hates confrontation, and likes to do things in its own way.

From a color psychology perspective, blue is reliable and responsible. This color exhibits an inner security and confidence. You can rely on it to take control and do the right thing in difficult times.

It has a need for order and direction in its life, including its living and work spaces. This is a color that seeks peace and tranquility above everything else, promoting both physical and mental relaxation."

"It reduces stress, creating a sense of calmness, relaxation and order - we certainly feel a sense of calm if we lie on our backs and look into a bright blue cloudless sky. It slows the metabolism. The paler the blue the more freedom we feel.

In the meaning of colors, blue relates to one-to-one communication, especially communication using the voice - speaking the truth through verbal self-expression - it is the teacher, the public speaker.

Blue is the color of the spirit, devotion and religious study. It enhances contemplation and prayer. On the other hand, blue's devotion can be to any cause or concept it believes in, including devotion to family or work

Blue is the helper, the rescuer, the friend in need. It's success is defined by the quality and quantity of its relationships. It is a giver, not a taker. It likes to build strong trusting relationships and becomes deeply hurt if that trust is betrayed.

Blue is conservative and predictable, a safe and non-threatening color, and the most universally liked color of all, probably because it is safe and non-threatening. At the same time blue is persistent and determined to succeed in whichever endeavors it pursues."

It's a no brainer that reader is a responsible and hardworking person. She's the epitome of feminimity. Her actions are honest and pure, she expresses concern for people who do not deserve it and she doesn't like to cause problems. Reader would much rather talk it out and apologize even if she isn't wrong.

She's raised to be a humble, sweet girl who must always be obedient to her husband. To not judge outwardly, but be naïve and a little bit dense. You can see that it is why she balances with Emma who is more dominant, helping her cool down and appreciate what she has, as well as teaching her how to be considerate. She teacher Emma the value of money and Emma admires how calm and non-violent reader is. She would not rage or cause up a storm to prove she is right, but rather, seek a middle ground.

She believes that there is good in everyone, even if they don't express it to her. She's okay with being in the back ground because her kindness is her strongest suit.

But there is something about reader that isn't right.

"Change is difficult for blue. It is inflexible and when faced with a new or different idea, it considers it, analyzes it, thinks it over slowly and then tries to make it fit its own acceptable version of reality.

Blue is nostalgic. It is a color that lives in the past, relating everything in the present and the future to experiences in the past."

When reader has a precognitive notion of someone it's hard for her to change it. Especially if it is about her.

She found it hard to eventually accept that what Mikey is doing to her, is a bad thing. She was trained in a way that ingrained in her that women provoke men to assault them, so she blames herself for it. She knows both of them are evil but she still aportions blame to herself.

Her being nonconfrontational does her wrong as well. Because she wants peace with others, she lets herself be trampled upon. There's a part of her that earns for the past, even if she was hurt. She's always in her head, never paying attention to her surroundings but constantly overthinking and over analysing everything that happens to her.

Her quiet, docile nature is what leads her to be an easy target for people like Izana and Mikey. Her kindness will be the death of her.

Headcanons for the main cast:

Reader's first love is Mikey Sano. Before him, she has never seen a guy she really liked until she caught his eye.

Izana is a sex addict - it's almost as bad as drugs, but within the last few weeks he had suddenly seen a reduction in his drive.

Emma was the one who suggested blue was reader's colour. Before university, reader wore a lot of brown or muted colours which is associated with obscurity or poverty.

Izana hates how wide eyed and innocent reader looks. He hated her even more when she asked "what does a blunt mean?" when he told her to roll one for him the first time they met.

Kisaki and Mikey think of reader as a dog -specifically a laperdoodle- because she's aleays following Emma around with no direction of her own.

Izana is passionate about music and it is why he went into sound engineering. When he is stressed and he doesn't want to smoke, he plays his guitar. He has written a song about how he feels about his childhood but no one has heard it apart from Kakucho.

Emma, Izana and Mikey spend a lot of time together. They like hanging out together because it's reminiscent of their childhood.

Majority of the girls Izana sleeps with are blonde haired girls. Take that as you will.

Reader is always in her head most of the time. She zones out a lot and spends her entire alone time thinking. She also has a hyper active imagination.

The most intelligent sibling is Mikey. He just hates school.

In their freshmen year Reader actually met Hanma at the freshman party. She tried talking to him but she was so nervous that she ran away.

If the events of chapter one never happened and they had just apologized, Reader and Mikey would have been good friends. Izana would still keep her at arms length but eventually warm up to her.

Emma was hoping one of her brother's would fall in love with reader, since Draken isn't polyamorous so that she'd keep reader in her life forever.

The person I see reader having a successful relationship with is Izana (if everything was good). Red and blue are opposites, and they would instantly catch on. Izana would compensate for Reader's shy and docile nature, even inspiring her to be more confident and take on anything. Reader would teach him patience and forgiveness and ultimately help him to be more relaxed.

I initially planned that reader and Izana would have some action in chapter 4 but scrapped that idea.

Mikey hardly dates. Girls flock around him and he may sleep with one or two, but that's it. He has a preference for experienced girls as I mentioned.

In terms of sexuality, Reader is pansexual, Emma is bisexual and polyamorous, Mikey is also bisexual and Izana is pansexual and polyamorous.

Reader loves Mitski a lot. Emma introduced her to "worldly" songs when they began their friendship and Mitski stuck. Before that, she was only allowed christian music in her household.

Izana's favourite group is Deftones and Mikey loves ABBA a lot. Emma is a Britney Spears person but loves Mitski.

Reader feels safer around Draken outside Emma. She actually loved learning about bikes from him and didn't laugh when he said his dream was to be a bike. Probably because her dream is to become a book.

Mikey hates being in fights with Izana. It makes him sad. He just wants to hang out without Izana feeling like he has to rile Mikey up so that Mikey would like him.

If reader was my oc, her name would be Evangelista and she would look like this:

Reader misses her family. She misses her mom a lot even though she knows they were bad to her.

Izana sleep talks about his mother, Karen and in his dreams he begs her not to leave him and Emma, that he'll never complain again.

Mikey's mom, Sakurako and reader are similar in personality. He forms attachments to reader because he wants to recreate his mother's love through her.

Emma also sees Sakurako in reader, but she can also see Karen too. Karen was always absent minded to the point she nearly hurt herself. Reader has also hurt herself while being absent minded too.

After the assault reader's absent mindedness became worse. She also feels extreme shame and has resorted to taking sleeping pills.

Mikey hates smoking and alcohol, but abuses Antidepressants a lot to numb his dark impulses. In chapter 3, reader thinks Mikey is sober, but in reality he's on antidepressants. It is why he's so emotionally detached. It doesn't work by the way.

Mikey is in love with reader and is desperate to get her on his side. If Izana offers him a deal that can get reader he'll take it.

Reader cannot find it in her heart to hate Mikey or Izana. She excuses their actions in her head majority of the time. It's because she was raised to know that if a man is violent towards her, it is her fault. It is why she's desperate to make amends.

Mikey reminds her of her father a lot. Izana reminds her of her eldest brother. Both of them abused her and she recreates those scenarios with Mikey and Izana. Reader at a point wanted Mikey to love her back but gave up after the party.

Reader's brothers are physically abusive towards her. When she was attacked in chapter 2 she instantly fights back because that was the only way she could escape with her life. It got so bad she has been hospitalized multiple times. She learned the best way to avoid abuse is to avoid them entirely, since her parents wouldn't do anything about it.

Emma regrets pushing reader towards her brothers.

Reader still wears her rosary she got from her mother until this day. She rarely goes to church.

The person who took those nude pictures wasn't Mikey. It was Hanma. Mikey paid him to do it and who was he to refuse free money.

Reader was in dance club at her school and was really good, but left after someone snitched to her father. She got punished badly.

Taggging: @fushiqruo @jellyfishworld @blueberry3muffin @nnniiiaa @707stic @kokoch4n3l @kodzukein @kazutorasrealsneakylink @short-cxke @bontensruby @merve-01 @hellkaiserinphoenix @urmomsksk @chaerytf @manjibunny @chrollohearttags

Thank you guys so much for reading this ♡ you can ask me any more questions if you have them.

[morrak]

Untitled Wednesday Library Series, Part 142

I’ve been thinking a lot about criticism lately. It’s a thing I — we all — do often, of course, which probably makes it important. Some, but not all, kinds of criticism have traditions and vocabularies; you can (thought hardly anyone does) make a living writing about film or architecture or food. There are, on the other hand, some things about which a weekly column would have to get inventive. Spreadsheets. Individual songbirds. Tactile sensations. Rust.

I try pretty hard not to do the first kind of thing in these posts. Although that’s mostly because I fear committing to judgments on the record, it’s also (I think) an expression of sympathy toward the second kind of thing — not everything needs a critical tradition, but why not spread the attentiveness around, y'know? Maybe.

To such an end, posting about books is a pretty bad choice. You could argue that what I’m really reviewing isn’t the works themselves, but rather the choice to dedicate pieces of mind to them. I'm not sure why you'd argue that, but you could. If I’d thought this exercise through properly I’d have chosen some other thing I have several of, like 5V wall adapters or grains of rice.

Anyway, let’s talk about an art book.

Ben P. Ward’s 2021 I Dream of Dust, one of the four things Temper Books published before changing everything on their website to the past tense.

The How

From some small bookseller whose name I’ve forgotten and wouldn’t tell you anyway. A few weeks back, @krieper and I visited a printing studio that hosted some stuff — zines and local prints, mostly — on a self-service rack up front. All cool stuff, but this especially caught my eye.

The (Sub)Text

So, the Eastern Plains, right? This is about those, sort of. I broadly agree with the thoughts of this reviewer about the voice it delivers differing from Temper’s promise — yes, this is what Eastern Colorado can look like if shot competently, and yes, the meditation works for me, but no, I’m not sure it’s especially subversive.

The Object

I cannot offer you a good feel for these photographs or their printing here. Ward is on other social media, I’m told; you can also find some of these on his website.

This is a quiet project, which the printing respects. Thoughtful margins, easy blacks and whites, satin finish, more blank space than photo. Large format shots at this scale just work. I’m used to seeing posthumous collections or coffee table send-ups of painters, which are too often too full; this can breathe. Sensitive and inviting but only sparingly intimate. Glad for all that.

This first (and presumably final) printing comprised 500 signed copies in sewn hardcover bindings. Not unusual for a collection like this, but still nice to see and handle.

The Why, Though?

Because it mostly works for me, because it reminds me of other stuff than mostly works for me, and because the outing this came from involved talk of Colorado and Kansas and the Texas Panhandle, none of which I miss, I swear.

[turtlevariabilis]

My story with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

[Español]

When I graduated from preschool, I was gifted the class pet: a red-eared slider turtle (now almost 20 years old and even has a similar companion). From that moment on, turtles have become part of my identity. If someone asked me about my favorite animal, of course I would say turtles. They are very interesting animals that do interact with each other and with humans; they have an enviable perseverance, enormous curiosity, and ninja-like abilities (they are fast, silent, and enjoy climbing, to throw themselves and performing some really strange acrobatics).

Well, today I'd rather tell you my story with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and how I came to be part of this fandom. It's actually a somewhat long story, but it has some funny details, and it's a way for you to get to know me a little better.

So, since turtles have always been a part of my life, it should have been natural for me to encounter the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles from a very young age, so I got to know them through the tmnt 2003 version. And yes, of course, they appeared on television and I was curious about protagonists being turtles... but the series didn't resonate with me.

When you're young, what you need are stories that you can somehow identify with, which is why the best stories will always be the ones that are most diverse in every possible way. And of course, any version of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is already a statement towards accepting what's different, promoting diversity. But this wasn't enough for me back then.

I was a girl who wanted to see girly things, shows with interesting female characters. And honestly, from what little I had seen of tmnt 2003 (maybe just a few scenes from an episode), I only spotted male characters except for April, who was an adult (so I preferred to watch Teen Titans). However, I already had my favorite turtle identified: the one with the purple mask, simply because it was my favorite color; funny how that hasn't changed.

When I was almost the age of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, the tmnt 2012 series premiered on Nickelodeon. It didn't catch my attention either. However, my sister L, almost three years younger than me, insisted that I watch it. So I did... and I guess I loved it. Because that's how my story with the Ninja Turtles began. That's how I met them.

My sister L and I were always on the lookout for when the series aired on TV; we literally ran to watch it, to make sure we didn't miss anything. And I confirmed that my favorite turtle was Donnie, but I actually loved them all.

A few years later, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie (2014) was released... I couldn't see it in theaters, but I was very excited about it, even though I knew it had nothing to do with the tmnt 2012 version (which I was very hooked on), and that's why I was a little disappointed. Plus, I hated how they sexualized April.

So yeah... you could say I was obsessed with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and although I hadn't realized to what extent, my parents and my two sisters did, so my 16th birthday party (just with these people) was themed around it as a surprise. They inflated green balloons, hung them up, and put on masks in the corresponding colors, and we ate pizza. They put a mini 2012 Donatello toy on my cake, which I still have. Now that I think about it, it was an intimate and very nice party... however, I don't like to show my tastes, so at that moment I did feel uncomfortable and dared to express that I would have preferred a normal party, instead of expressing how incredible it was, because it really was incredible. (What can I say? Although I have always been well-behaved and never caused any problems of any kind, I was also a teenager).

At that time, I was still following the tmnt 2012 series, and I used the internet to keep up with each new episode. I reached a point where I became impatient and had to watch the episodes as soon as they premiered, meaning I had to hurry to watch them on YouTube before the videos were taken down, even if that meant watching them in English and in poor quality.

I had a terrible level of English and I hardly understood anything. But doing this greatly improved my level, and I also started to take my English classes at school seriously to understand the episodes. Without exaggeration, everything I know about English is thanks to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Nowadays, I have a very solid intermediate level, and I still continue to improve thanks to them.

Still in that level of obsession with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, I obviously searched for more on the internet, on YouTube specifically. In one of those many videos I watched, scenes from the tmnt 2007 version caught my attention. That rivalry, that epic battle between Leo and Raph, captivated me. So I watched that movie, and although I didn't find it good overall for several reasons, I was deeply moved by the story between the brothers.

But let's go back to the tmnt 2012 version. The ending of the third season was one of the most shocking endings I've ever seen. And when the fourth season premiered and the turtles were in space... that's exactly when I lost interest. And I really don't know why, since I really like science fiction and everything related to the universe. Maybe it was because I stopped understanding what was happening (remember I was watching the episodes in English). I don't know.

After that, from time to time, I would feel nostalgic and curious about this series, so I would watch a random episode here and there (in general, I'm not good at watching series; I'm capable of watching only the episodes that catch my attention, sacrificing understanding the overall plot). And when I found out it ended, I looked for the last three episodes of the fifth season... and they left me feeling really bad with that dystopian, hopeless, but realistic ending. It's horrible, but I guess that's what I liked the most. Let's admit it, we all like to be masochists.

Later, I sort of saw that a new version had been released with colors too vibrant for my taste and a 2D animation with too much hyperactivity that didn't catch my attention. Yes, I'm talking about the rottmnt version, released in 2018. Nowadays, you don't know how much I regret not paying attention to it.

Years passed and 2023 arrived. At the beginning of that year, I realized that we had Paramount+, and that meant that the tmnt 2012 series, in Spanish, was complete. And my younger sister R hadn't been able to watch it because she had been too young at the time. So I felt like introducing it to her, and that way I could watch the entire series in the right way.

It was like watching a marathon: we finished it all in less than two months, despite our various commitments (she had school and I had work, making it very difficult to coordinate schedules). Suddenly, my obsession returned, very intense. It was the only time that I've had the same obsession in two very different stages of my life. But I still wasn't open to discovering new versions.

(You're going to laugh at what happened next).

My sister L, the one who initially introduced me to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, seeing how much I enjoyed reconnecting with them, insisted that I watch the movie of the rottmnt version, which was on Netflix; she said it was very intense and good, well worth it, but that I had to watch it with an open mind because it had many radical changes.

Much to my dismay, very resistant and with my mind as closed as possible, I watched this movie. And yes, it was very intense and all, but I concluded that I didn't like it. I didn't feel like those were my turtles. Despite that, I watched it again... and then again and again. It's like the character of Donnie caught my attention a bit. It's like the animation wasn't as bad as I had initially thought. It's like the intensity they conveyed was starting to appeal to me. It's like it was somewhat entertaining. It's like I was starting to like the characters a bit and was beginning to identify and even understand them.

And suddenly, even though I kept insisting to myself that I didn't like this new version, I started watching some random episodes of the series... until I began watching them in order... and then I would rewatch some episodes that I had liked... I mean, it's just that there was no one to stop me and I had to stop fooling myself! The rottmnt version had many different things, but it was very well-crafted and very good. Of course, I loved it! And currently, for me, it undoubtedly surpasses the tmnt 2012 version by many reasons that I won't comment on this text.

When the official content of rottmnt ran out, I needed more. So I searched on the internet... and suddenly I got caught up in some fan-made comics... and then I found myself on Tumblr... and then I started to become interested in more versions and began watching them (like the first season of tmnt 1987, some episodes of tmnt 2003, I watched the tmnt 2007 movie again as well as Batman vs. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, which I didn't mention, but I had seen before because I had a certain period in my life when I loved Batman).

And all of that was at the beginning of the year 2023, because then the trailer for the movie Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem appeared, which was going to be released in a few months. I had no idea that a new version was coming out that year, and it came just in time to keep increasing my fan skills. Of course, I went to see it in the cinema and loved it, although rottmnt is still my favorite version.

And nowadays, in 2024, I still feel like one of my central thoughts is the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and I want to keep learning more about them, both the old versions and the new ones that are coming. And I really look forward to continuing to contribute my bit to the fandom with this account. Hopefully, this will also be the year when I can finally watch tmnt 2003 properly.

And it's funny, because suddenly I know many references from many versions and I love that, although I know I have a lot to catch up on. For now, I've never stepped into the realm of comics, and I still don't know if I ever will.

Because I'm just a fan, and those of us who are fans of something should be so on our own terms, without the pressure of anything or anyone.

I've run out of words and I don't know how to conclude this text, but if you've made it this far, wow, I'm impressed! I send you lots of greetings and good vibes, just as Mondo Gecko would say.

•💜•

[gimmethosedaddymilkers]

Arthur Morgan (Modern Headcannons) What he’s like without kids

Okay, this was a request from @mrsarthurmorgan7 Who wanted to see what Arthur would be like if the reader didn’t want kids

We all know how our loving cowboy is with kids, so we have to see what the other side of the coin is obviously! 

Warnings!: NSFW as always lmao, arthur being fluffy, maybe a little bit of angst? Not too much no one panic lololol Female Reader 

Tags: @kieropal @photo1030 @cantchoosejust1 @6kaja9​

Okay party people lets do this! 

Ok

So

Arthur is obviously a little bit more of a family oriented guy, and I think that’s mainly because he was just always surrounded by a big family, after he was adopted that is

That hand he just loves babies 

But

when it comes time to talk about having kids

and you tell him that you 

A: Cannot have kids 

or B: Do not want kids

DO NOT FEAR

it is not a deal breaker for him

He’ll probably be a little shocked at first, because he thinks you’re great with Jack 

And he’s probably kinda upset because he thinks that you’d look amazing pregnant

but he loves you

and respects you

because he drinks respect women juice

Granted he will be a little sad because of it, but he isn’t going to make you feel guilty for it

He understands that if you can’t have kids that’s not your fault in any way shape or form, you cannot control that whatsoever and in no way is he going to make you feel as though it is.

He also understands that not everyone wants to have kids, and that’s okay too

Again, he’ll probably be a little sad that you don’t want kids with him, but, he’ll get over it eventually

He loves you and respects you, so even if he might want some, he is okay not having any

plus to him that means he can have more alone time with you, and he can spend all the time he wants to spend loving you.

No kids means more date nights, and more....ya know 

It also means that he can walk around naked in the house without panicking that he’s gonna scar his children for life.

Plus, even if he’s a family oriented guy, you are his family, and he get all his love he needs from you! 

And ya know, Dutch and Co.

You can fill that hole in his heart happily

Without kids, you have less responsibilities too, which is nice on both of you, less bills to pay, and more money to go on vacation 

Now, listen here

just because you don’t want kids, or dont have any

does not mean he will not enjoy the act of how they’re created 

And without kids around

he’s got plenty of time, and literally the entire house to fuck you as he pleases

He loves to be intimate with you all the time

He loves you so much

I mean

He comes home and kisses you on the cheek, then the neck, then the shoulder, and then he’ll slide his hands under your shirt and bring them up to your breasts quietly

He’ll mutter in your ears the whole time

Asking you how your day was

but also calling you his beautiful girl

His wonderful wife

amazing woman

His woman

He enjoys everything he does with you 

He loves kissing you, holding you

His favorite thing to do is come home and catch you by surprise though

If you’re in the shower when he gets home he’ll come into the bathroom and just strip down without a word

he’s covered in oil and grease anyway so he needs to shower anyhow.

he’ll slip in behind you, usually scaring you because he’s literally dead silent

and he’ll just kiss you on the neck, and start cleaning you up

“How was work today?”

“It was fine until you nearly gave me a heart attack just now!”

“I’m a big guy, I ain’t that hard to miss Darlin’, ain’t my fault if you don’t pay attention to your surroundin’s.” 

He also wants to convince you to get a dog 

since you don’t have kids he will TOTALLY want a dog named Mayhem

He’ll want either a German Shepard or a Husky 

Hell both! 

He’d even ask for cats too! 

He loves all kinds of animals 

So he’ll be happy to have them! 

If you do get dogs he loves to see you cuddle up with them, it’s the cutest thing ever to him

He lets the dogs sleep in the bed sometimes

(You hate it because they nearly kick you off the bed sometimes but you love him too much to tell him to stop) 

He never gets upset with the dogs at all, well, that is unless they start to come bother you while he’s trying to make love to you 

“Get the hell outta here dog! Don’t I spend enough time with you, leave us be!” 

He does love his days when he gets to babysit Jack, however, sometimes after his bad days he REALLY understands why you don’t want kids

Jack causes him all kinds of issues, on certain days of course, other times he’s an angel, but sometimes he’s like a DEVIL 

He’ll throw tantrums and wreck your home, and Arthur literally can’t figure out how to calm him down

This is when he was younger of course

but those bad days really make him happy to turn Jack loose back to his parents rather than him having to worry about dealing with him all the time

Not to say that he’d hate any kids that he would have

thats not it at all, and he doesn’t hate jack either

but he is glad that it’s not an extra expense the two of you have as well as not having to worry about him fucking up as a parent, because sometimes Jack makes him wonder if he’d be that great with the way his temper rises so quickly

Arthur comes home with gifts for you all the time btw

He’ll tell you 

“Come out to the truck I got somethin’ for you”

And you’ll be confused as hell because like

you hate it when he buys you gifts

it’s money he doesn’t need to spend

but of course

he loves you to no end and other than your bills (Which he makes sure are completely covered before buying anything) you have nothing that needs money for

so he buys you gifts all the time

you’ll come out to the truck and he’ll have a whole ass pine cabinet in the truck bed for you

and it’s beautiful and you’ve been looking at it for a while

so he literally just 

read your mind 

He’ll get you smaller gifts and things too obviously

flowers

clothes

necklaces

he loves to buy you video games too

because he plays them with you

even though he’s really bad at them 

(He thinks he’s bad at all technology and to be fair he kinda is unless he’s used it forever lmao)

So he’ll come home with a bunch of video games to play with you

or watch you play

sometimes he likes to sit down with some popcorn and just sit and watch you play story games

like

Elden Ring? 

He’ll watch you play that for hours, he loves all the magic and like knights and things

Hes huge into the medieval stuff

He’s also big into the cowboy stuff, cause he’s a modern day cowboy lol, and the closest game he’s ever brought home that was cowboy-esk was The Last Of Us

Which 

He LOVES Joel, he relates to him SO much

(You love joel for another reason but you still think Arthur is hotter than him)

He likes Days Gone By too, he forces you to have a game night with him at least once a week

Which you don’t mind cause he cuddles up next to you and gets totally engrossed in the game at hand

like

he just

is completely engulfed

if you pause the game he gets mad

usually the game nights last until the early morning hours and the two of you have a great time playing together

and usually the day after both of you have the day off and you just sleep in until about 1pm 

He loves Yellowstone, and at least once a week you guys catch up on episodes, and you love to see how excited he gets

and your favorite thing is when he calls certain characters bitches

or fucks

or dumbasses

he also loves any and all moves with Sam Elliot in them 

and he watches them all the time

he’ll clean dishes from the kitchen and lean around the wall to watch the show

Like I mentioned earlier he loves to take you on vacation, since the two of you don’t have kids you don’t have anything to worry about in terms of expenses

therefore

you have enough extra money to go places

he takes you places you’ve never been to

anywhere you want

if theres a state you’ve always wanted to visit

that’s where he takes you

or an event?

Maybe he even takes you to meet some of your favorite actors and actresses

it all depends on you! 

He’ll take you anywhere, especially since you two can save up the money

The vacations are always fun

you see attractions your interested in

but you also see plenty of your bedroom too

Like

A lot of your bedroom

And he loves to take you swimming when it’s available

He just likes to see you in a swimsuit

Speaking of the hanky panky

He’s extremely careful

because if you can have kids but don’t want to

he isn’t gonna sit there and like ‘trick’ you into like having kids, he might want them a little bit but he isn’t like that

so he’s extremely careful to make sure you don’t fall pregnant if you’re physically able

He always pulls out, if he’s able to

of course the two of you wear protection for the most part and you’re on birth control

if he can’t pull out in time he always buys you a Plan B pill after

which

controversial topic to some people

he believes that a woman should have rights to her body

if you want an abortion that is your business and your choice, he doesn’t know what it’s like to be pregnant

he believes that you should do what you feel is right

and of course

a part of him pings because that could become a baby but he isn’t someone who says “Thats a full baby you can’t do that’

If it comes to that he will fully support your decision on what you do

again

he believes its your body

your choice

he’s a very supportive husband

If anyone were to get in your way for something like that he’d literally fight someone

He is here to make sure you’re happy and healthy, and he’s happy if you’re happy

He literally loves you so much

He can’t put it into words even

Okokokok This is another kind of short one

I really struggled for some reason with this one! (Probably cause I myself would like children in the future but thats nothing against anyone who doesn’t!) 

If by any chance anyone would like more of these please let me know and I’ll do my best to dig into it deeper! 

I hope you do like these though!!

[mooshs-crack-headcanons]

Okay, I mean this in no disrespect about Miphlink, Miphlink shippers *mwah* love you guys, but me for me personally I like Miphlink but only with it in the context of it being one sidded AND Mipha being 100% completely aware of it's unrequitedness.

Why? Because I. Love. Angst. I thrive off it.

Like Mipha is a sweet, compassionate girl with a heart of pure gold - but she isn't stupid. She isn't oblivious to the blink and you'll miss it searching glances that goes on between Link and Princess Zelda, the devotion he has for her that goes well beyond than just a knight doing his job. She isn't ignorant to glimmering shine that lights up in the princess' eyes every time she looks at her chosen knight either, the genuine expression that melts across her face that is all devoid of the facade she presents wherever on official royal duties. Love. Clear and obvious love that is impossible to ignore even if it stabs and knaws at the Zora princess' heart each and every time she sees it.

How she wished deeply in her heart of hearts, how she wished and pray to the goddess that maybe one day... Link would look at her the same way. But then she quickly realizes how silly and selfish that sounds every time and that breaks her heart even more. It'd be so cruel to wish something like that because then it'd be hurting both Link and Zelda and she absolutely doesn't want that - both of them are very dear friends to her and she doesn't want to warm that because of some... silly feelings. Silly, deep, feelings.

For quite some time she sits up on Vah Ruta's spout and truly recollects on the matter. Each day she thinks, traces her slight taloned fingertips over the blade of her trident and staring back at her reflection on its blade. She really did love the hero, she knows her feelings are true and much before the realization that his heart actually belonged to someone else she... started making him the armor. Since then she's hiddened it, far from any eyes to see and is positively sure the only ones to know about its existence is her father and little Sidon - who'd actually helped a bit himself in the stitching of the scales which even now still brings a small smile to her lips. There's no reason to finish it now, surely, but on the other hand something ate at her to accompanied by a voice saying maybe it'll be important one day to fulfill at least some kind of purpose, even if it wasn't for its original intention.

Mipha pauses on the thought, her eyes scanning over through the mountains and towards the direction of the castle in the kingdom's heart. She heard rather recently from Urbosa that Link has been sneaking Princess Zelda out of the castle at night to continue her sheikah research, going the King's direct orders.

A knight disobeying the word of his king. He did that for her.

The Zora sighs. That sounds very like him, she admired that about him and even so she's glad to hear the princess had still continue her research, it was no hidden secret that one of her main interests so if she continue to pursue it than that makes her happy. And the princess happy obviously made Link happy, which in turn makes Mipha happy at the end of the day.

Her mind crawls back to the armor.

...maybe... she could finish it. Not as some token of engagement as Zora tradition willed it, though she is aware exactly how it will look to most Zora when she gives it to the hero, how they'll interpret it and try to spin it off as a romantic thing but... the creation of armor like this without a doubt is a very special an and intimate one, very personal. So it'd have to mean just as much if she were to give it as a... blessing, right? Her personal blessing for Link and Zelda's relationship. Her token of acceptance, even if it stung.

She very quickly went to work.

Every single night, even after long days of training and attending to her royal duties she takes some time to work on the armor. She pays attention to fine detail - making sure every row of scales that aline the sturdy fabric are in the correct shape and positioning that would make the set suitable to be worn even years and decades from now. Regal - she makes it, with every pattern melted in the pauldrons and the pretty eye catching glimmer of sapphires that danced in between the threads of the fabric. Perfect, she wants it to be perfect. To symbolic represent how much Link means to her and how happy she is with his happiness and love to the princess. She loves seeing him happy and wishes for everything in the world just to keep him happy.

Even if she has to watch him grow old, together hand in hand with the woman he actually loves and eventually... die. And Mipha will still be young, and live life long without him, that's the sad truth between human and zora lifespans. So this all is for the best.

Weeks and months leading through the armors creation process, even in the final hours until its completely finished and ready to present.

She still can't stop the uncontrollable tears streaming down her face.

[carefulfears]

Alright, the whole vodka and cheese in Detour! Do you think Scully was actually flirting/making a move there? What brought it on do you think? Because it surprised me a bit by how forthright she was when she hadn't really seemed that way before

MMAnon 💙

oh she definitely wanted to get fucked.

i think she was trying to be very nice put together miss dana scully; she’s never going to be the one to make the first move, but also try to signal to him.

if nothing else, to spend time with him in a more personal and intimate way. and who knows, maybe setting that trend of “consorting in the same room” will lead to something eventually.

unfortunately he’s just not very bright and wants to go look for mothmen

(though i don’t think he was being completely oblivious, i think he ditched on purpose. which is another post.)

as far as what brought it on, i feel like this was their first case after reduxes. their first case after she didn’t die.

they’re all over each other in redux ii, they’re always holding hands and kissing on each other. she wants that kind of attention and time with him, and she’s hoping she doesn’t have to die to have it.

later, in the forest, she tells him that when she was sick she struggled to see the meaning in it. and that she realized that’s the struggle, to give it meaning.

that’s all she’s trying to do, with some wine and cheese in florida. give their renewed life meaning.

always good to chat with you, anon!! i’m SO sorry for what you’re about to watch next ❤️

[mediocre-eternity]

What do you think of Daniel's new body since you turned him? Is it much different from how it was when you first fell for him? Do you miss his old body with it's all it's mortal imperfections and frailties?

I don’t think anybody has ever wondered about this before. I also don’t think I’ve asked this myself, though I have noticed considerable changes in Daniel, especially since we are close again.

Obviously Daniel and I cannot share our minds anymore. That is the most painful change, and consequently the hardest to get used to. I absolutely abhor it and I knew, I knew it would become a giant wedge between us. As I gulped his blood down my throat to change him into what he is today I was thinking of it. I don’t know why this is biological law for our kind, but it’s crushing and unfair. Imagine the soul that you can confidently call your soulmate, that you share everything with, that you trust more than any other person in your entire pathetic immortality has the most intimate connection shared severed. But I am too selfish and having Daniel as my companion for as long as this little stupid rock can spin is worth it. I just haven’t let the tragedy go yet. I’ve gotten better at communicating with him but the challenges are still there.

I shouldn’t talk. I suppose my Maker would love that type of privilege again. So much for unfairness.

And of course there’s all sorts of positives to Daniel being immortal now. Though largely his patience, gentleness and curiosity has remained the same, I feel as though other parts of him have unlocked, especially now that he’s regaining his faculties. He is much more charismatic and confident. Daniel has always loved meeting new people, especially the eccentrics, but now he will guide himself to find them. He’s even started to take my hand to lead me where he wants to go. He is…. Incredibly irresistible when he does this. It’s how I always wanted to see him and perhaps… maybe… what I always needed in him. I don’t know what I original goals for Daniel were, but this has now become the totality of it. That confidence. That embodiment of the monster that he is.

Ah, well. He begged for it. He can relish in it if he wants to. Louis always teases me that he earned it. Certainly, he did. He’s the only vampire we know of that clung to that hope until his dying breath. Serendipity or something.

But I’m getting off-track.

Again, I don’t really know what my original ideas for Daniel were. When I first met him at least. And perhaps for the first couple of years I got to know him. I unfortunately wasn’t really paying much attention to the limitations of a mortal body when I became his lover. Of course I knew what could kill him, that I could potentially kill him, and the minor dangers mortals face every single day. But the consequences of giving someone (almost) everything they want was beyond me at the time. Which is how he ended up with the disease that eventually killed him. I don’t miss that at all.

Sometimes I wish I could see his body react to my touch in a mortal way, again. It didn’t take much teasing, or much blood, to push him to a mortal orgasm. Oh certainly the exchange of immortal Blood is much more satisfying, but I could make Daniel utterly crumble in no time at all. Now it’s a bit more challenging, not that I mind. Again, Daniel has become very good at taking the lead in several different ways.

I do really appreciate having a lover with immortal stamina again, especially the one I’m devoted to the most. Getting to show Daniel the most intimate secrets of Preternatural Kind was unusual but is now so, so sensual. I wouldn’t trade Daniel’s body now for anything. The privilege of watching him extend how he can move and react is too beautiful. And now, I have a true companion.

That was the first time I’ve ever written that down.

Daniel is my immortal companion.

We are in hell and we will watch the heat death of the universe together.

Devil’s Minion, indeed.

[hermannsthumb]

For the autumn fic meme can you do number 7? (maybe Newt trying to be brave and failing miserably? >:3)

7. scary movies

from autumn fic prompts here

WHEW i've had an exhausting few weeks but things are finally calming down and i can devote time back to my beloved little dudes again. i have a longer fic i'm working on for spooky season but it's also HALLOWEEN PROMPT FILL SEASON once more!! here's an old old one I never got around to filling

--------------------------------------------------

"I am not," Hermann says, "as easy as you seem to think I am."

Newt's not sure what's more disconcerting here: hearing someone outside of, like, 1950 refer to themselves as easy, or Hermann apparently worrying that Newt might apply that word to him, in the lust-inspiring glory of his sweatervest, baggy wool slacks, stiff collar, daintily crossed ankles, the twelve inches he's left between them, and the full-body shudder of displeasure he gives whenever Newt makes the mistake of looking in his direction. And worrying about it so bad he had to reach over and pause the movie to make sure Newt had his full attention before making the declaration. Yeah, easy, that's sooo Hermann. He wouldn't even take off his shoes before he got on Newt's bed, because it would've been quote-unquote too intimate. What a harlot.

"I literally have no idea what you're talking about," Newt says. "Am I missing some, like, signals? Is this some sort of Gottlieb mating ritual?" The only thing Hermann has done all night is snap at Newt for burning their popcorn in the microwave (among a host of other offenses, ranging from breathing too loudly to keeping the brightness on his computer too high). Newt thinks he would've noticed if Hermann was suddenly fluttering his eyelashes or taking off his shirt or something. Actually, if Hermann considers picking fights easy behavior, then Newt suddenly has a whole lot of their relationship to reassess here. As in, all of it. Maybe arguing is part of the complex intricacies of Gottliebian mating rituals, the rest of which involve unstylish haircuts and submitting HR complaints. Newt should pay closer attention to these sorts of things.

"No," Hermann snaps. "I am referring to your invitation, which was clearly a pitiful attempt to seduce me, and my subsequent acceptance thereof, which was against my best judgement and that I began to regret almost immediately." He folds his arms across his chest and scowls at Newt. It's not as intimidating as he clearly hopes it'll be, because there's a decent amount of burnt popcorn crumbs clinging to the front of his sweater, and his glasses are crooked.

"I'm not trying to do anything but watch a movie, dude," Newt says.

"Oh, yes, for now," Hermann says. "But soon enough you'll be so terribly frightened that you'll need to turn to me for comfort, and then one thing will lead to another, and then—" He shakes his head darkly. "I can assure you now that will not be happening, despite any efforts to the contrary. Feign your fear all you wish."

That's the problem with trying to be anything but a mortal enemy to Hermann—the guy's always gotta act like Newt has some sort of dark, mysterious, ulterior motive going on. Cups of tea always have to be deliberately brewed too bitterly with too much milk (instead of just, y'know, the shop Newt went to messed up his order), invitations for excursions into the city or late night talks on the Shatterdome roof are trying too hard to make up for whatever Newt's crime against him of the week is. Hermann can never just accept kindnesses from Newt at face value. Technically, Newt supposes he did have a slight ulterior motive in inviting Hermann over for spooky movie night tonight that verged beyond selflessly giving Hermann a social life into self-serving, but he's been literally upfront about it from the start. And it has nothing to do with getting a hand under Hermann's four layers, thank you. "I want to watch this new movie," he said earlier in the lab, while Hermann eyed him suspiciously, "but it's supposed to be scary as shit, so I don't want to do it alone." If it gives him nightmares, then at least he'll have someone to commiserate with.

Newt's not sure whether he prefers Hermann to see him as a big baby or a skeezeball. Big baby is worse, maybe—at least the alternative means Hermann thinks he's, like, at least mildly suave and a mega-pro at seducing grumpy mathematicians. But it all also raises a very important question. "If you knew I was gonna try to seduce you, then why did you come over?" Hermann was being pretty quiet about everything, up to and including when Newt told him to make himself at home on his bed, until now.

Hermann coughs, and mumbles out something about not having anything better to do with his time, then something else about Newt having wily machinations. "Let's finish the damned movie," he says.

Though Newt's chosen to let Hermann believe he's speeding down the skeezeball route tonight, that doesn't actually change the fact that Newt is, at heart, kind of a big baby—but also only when it comes to sooome horror movies, because he's usually really awesome and punk about these things, and you don't cover yourself in tattoos if you don't have a high tolerance for discomfort, and Newt was watching monster movies before he had object permanence. Unfortunately Newt is not currently covering himself in tattoos or dealing with his dad's admittedly questionable age-appropriate media decisions, but rather curled up in a sweatshirt and watching an evil spooky ghost slash through teenagers like nothing on his laptop with Hermann. The reviews weren't wrong about the realistic special effects. Newt makes a small noise that's definitely not a groan and turns his face away, just a little bit. "I don't understand why you enjoy subjecting yourself to rubbish like this," Hermann says. He's wrinkling his nose. Newt thinks the fiery power of Hermann's disdain could stop the homicidal movie ghost right in its tracks, which strangely makes him feel a little better. "We could be watching an infinite number of other much better films."

"Great idea," Newt says. "K-science movie night, every Friday. You can make the popcorn and choose the flick next time, I'll order pizza." Pizza sounds great right now. He should have dragged Hermann out into the city for pizza night and drinks at the worst bar he could find and made him eat something for dinner with nutritional value for a change (well, okay, in terms of comparison to the scalding tea and toast he usually has for dinner, a pizza is like a damn salad bar), not lured him into his messy bunk for a scary movie night neither of them are actually feeling. Maybe it's not too late to change their plans. There are probably still a few 24/7 delivery stragglers out there in a city this big that haven't yet succumbed to being stomped on by kaiju. "Is that guy still getting chainsawed?"

"No," Hermann says. He looks up at Newt's laptop screen quickly—he'd been distracted, picking crumbs off his sweater—and corrects himself, only just audible over the whirring of the ghost's chainsaw. Not a very creative weapon of choice for a slasher. Chainsaws are kinda been there done that, Newt thinks. "Er. Yes. This has been a rather prolonged death scene."

"Yeah, dude, no shit," Newt says. He tucks his head in against Hermann's shoulder, because it's not like Hermann can possibly think any less of him right now, and he's relieved when Hermann acquiesces to the touch and doesn't boot him across the room. Hermann's sweater smells kinda weird, like he left it out in the rain and didn't bother washing it after it dried. It's still soothing to be this close to him. Ugh, not that Newt would ever, ever admit that out loud, how embarrassing.

"I told you your charms are not going to work on me, Newton," Hermann sniffs, even as he gives Newt's shoulder a pat, and then something, bewilderingly enough, that Newt might call a reassuring squeeze. He doesn't move his hand afterwards. "No matter how pathetic you look right now."

"Thanks? Um, I think?"

Something particularly gnarly must happen on screen, because Hermann suddenly winces and drops their popcorn bowl, sending the remainder of it (mostly vaguely salty kernels) scattering across the floor. He reaches out and angles Newt's laptop screen down, just a centimeter from being shut entirely. A slasher-chainsawing-ghost victim screams their heart out through the muffled speakers. Hermann closes the laptop the rest of the way. "I think we ought to pick something else," he says.

"Sounds great," Newt says.

[spitdrunken]

OK LET'S SEE IF I CAN RECREATE THIS FROM MEMORY and not have tunmblr throw it in the garbage this time--

Emmet told himself it was only going to be one time at the glory hole. Obviously, he was lying to himself. We all know this man has no self control. He hates that other people get to fuck his brother in the glory hole; he wants to hog Ingo all to himself, so he watches and waits for Ingo to go again. It doesn't take long--only 3 days later--before Ingo says he's going to take his lunch elsewhere one day. Emmet doesn't pay attention to where, he knows Ingo is lying, and confirms it when he watches Ingo head towards the glory hole on the cameras

OFC Emmet knows the quickest way to the secret area the glory hole is located. He makes sure to get there before anyone else can, locking the door behind him so no one else can see his older brother like this. I imagine he's prepared either a cock ring or some aphrodisiacs this time as well. He can't repeat what happened last time...

Once Emmet's cum enough inside of Ingo to be satisfied, he walks away from the glory hole, and manages to radio Ingo back from his "break" early. He races back to the office and does his best to look like he was there the whole time Ingo was gone. There's a sick satisfaction in his gut, knowing that Ingo is full of his cum right now, even while he tries to strike pleasant conversation with his brother. (Ingo makes up some flimsy excuse when asked about the limp in his step; something about tripping up the stairs on the way to the local deli. He misses Emmet's smug smirk in response to that.)

Of course, this all brings into question how often Emmet could get away with going to the glory hole without anyone finding out. The mirror situation means that people KNOW they're fucking Subway Boss Ingo on the other side, so if people saw Emmet disappearing into the glory hole area at the same time... Makes me wonder how far Emmet will go to hide this from others and eventually try to prevent other people from visiting the glory hole. Then again, how long would it take Ingo to figure out that he's been sucking and fucking the same cock over and over now? And how long until he realizes how familiar it's starting to look to him...?

WANT TO START OFF BY SAYING THAT I LOVE THIS SO MUCH!!! i can’t add much to the earlier parts of this cuz honestly it’s just perfect already!!! I was thinking about!!!

notes: incest, not x reader

Emmet knowing exactly when Ingo is frequenting the place, so he makes sure to leave a note right before he typically arrives. (I’m imagining he makes one of his Pokémon put it inside when it’s empty, because it’s at least a bit less clear that it’s him who left it.) It has something written on it, clearly addressed to Subway Boss Ingo, about having created a special, different place for him- With more privacy! Ingo honestly can’t frequent the gloryhole even as much as he wants to, because the chance of too many people knowing about it and it leaking out to the general public + the awkwardness of running into a challenger who fucked you is just too awkward!! So maybe he could see the appeal in that.

He obviously keeps one of his Pokémon out there while approaching, so he can defend himself in case it’s just a trap. But it really is just a more tucked away, typical gloryhole situation: A simple hole in the wall, no mirrors or anything. (Which Emmet dislikes, but it’s necessary to keep this up for longer. And prevents anyone else from taking his beloved twin.) The most important thing is that it’s in a kind of blind spot among the cameras… So both of them can frequent it as much as they want.

But it doesn’t take too long for Ingo to notice that he’s always been fucked by the exact same person… They’re good at it, he’s not complaining, but that makes it just so intimate somehow, in a way that has him all kinds of flustered. If he realises how similar the stranger’s cock looks to his (or maybe even hears Emmet moan too loudly?), he’ll go inside the room as usual, but Emmet will find him waiting on the opposite side of the room, ready to see who’s been shoving their cock inside him daily for the past few weeks…

How it ends would depend on whether you’d want Ingo to be into it or not LMAO It could be very angsty or unrequited or they would just have sex for the first time without a wall in between them <3

[aemonds-sapphire]

Coffee Run - Hawks x Reader (Smut)

Summary: Hawks simply wanted to enjoy his coffee in peace, but you had needs of your own, especially knowing he was entering his rut. You know what they say... be careful with what you wish for, because you just might get it.

Warnings: NSFW. Rut!Hawks. Feral Hawks. Public sex. Breeding kink. Pregnancy kink. Lactation kink (brief mention). Featherplay. Slight overstimulation.

Word count: 3.7k

Hawks was nearing his rut. That much was clear. Keeping up an easy going appearance was what he excelled at, until he hit that particular time of the year. Until he was forced to take that medication that would suppress his primal instinct to breed.

But rarely anything in this world came without bearing unpleasant consequences.

“I’ll just have the usual. Thanks.”

The young waitress then turned to you expectantly. “And you, miss?”

You pondered for a second as you eyed the pro hero sitting in front of you. To anyone oblivious to the changes occurring in his body they might think he was just not a morning person.

An idea popped in your mind all of a sudden.

“I’ll have a strawberry lollipop,” you finally said, causing Hawks to briefly lift his eyes from the phone in his hand. “What? I have a sweet tooth.”

The waitress nodded and walked away. He was still glaring at you, one fuzzy eyebrow slightly arched.

“Just that? It’s not a proper breakfast.”

“Neither is coffee, yet here we are.”

He shrugged at your response, shifting his attention back to his phone.

Coffee was his personal mood booster. It was dangerous to demand anything from a rutting Hawks until he had drunk an unhealthy amount of it.

The sun was barely out, and that was exactly why he’d choose this café. Only a few people would be there, which meant he wouldn’t have to deal with loud fans walking up to him and asking for selfies or autographs... or even hugs. It was perfect to hide from everyone how moody and snappy he could get in times like these.

But you figured he still wasn’t taking the medication. He always dreaded it because of how groggy and lethargic it’d leave him.

“You okay?”

He had his index finger flicking up and down on the screen. “Sure.”

But what Hawks didn’t know was that... well... you knew what why he was acting so unlike him.

Soon after, the waitress came back with a large cup of coffee and your lollipop that you promptly snatched from the tray with a smile.

Hawks mumbled a quick ‘thanks’ and you watched him take a few gulps of the hot beverage, while you removed the wrapping.

He sighed in pure relief as his huge wings vibrated from the instant pleasure. “I really needed this.”

You also reckoned he needed something else.

Sliding the round candy in your mouth, you propped your chin on interlaced fingers, regarding him quizzically.

“Is that all you need?”

The apparent innocent question had his golden eyes meet yours. However, you needed them to travel south, so you parted your lips seductively and dangled the lollipop from one corner of your mouth to the other with your tongue.

Bingo.

Hawks’ eyes dropped to your mouth in an instant, taking in the sight of you skilfully twirling the stick while letting out some lewd wet sounds.

“Stop it.”

“Stop what? I love sucking...” you said innocently.

The cup in his hand cracked lightly from his tight grip, and a faint frown settled on his beautiful face.

“You sure you okay?”

For someone who was able to maintain an wavering smile not matter the circumstances, Hawks really was falling behind his reputation. Maybe it wasn’t wise for you to keep pushing him like this. All the innuendos and teasing would eventually get him to snap.

You kept on sucking and licking the hard candy happily, eyeing your boyfriend with utmost interest.

He took another sip of his hot coffee, and you noticed his pupils were slightly dilated. Undoubtedly, the visual of you sucking on something was a enough to spark his arousal.

“Hmm... this tastes so good...” you moaned softly, fluttering your eyes shut for a brief moment. “Want to taste it?”

When he didn’t reply, you decided to take it up a notch. You kicked off your shoe and moved it to touch his leg.

He arched an eyebrow.

Slowly, you began sliding it up his leg and only stopped once you’d reached his inner thigh.

“Stop...”

You let the round candy caress your bottom lip, making sure he could see strings of your saliva sliding down to coat your tongue. Mustering a bit more courage, you dragged your feet until it reached his crotch.

Hawks was hard as a rock.

“You’re so warm...” you whispered, rubbing your foot against his cock.

You could tell he was about to snap.

“Hawks? Honey, look! It’s Hawks!”

You quickly turned your head to look at a young couple that was approaching your table. It couldn’t be avoided. Even in the early hours there would always be someone who was a fan of Hawks.

Hawks was forced to regain his composure, and you figure it was taking every single fibre in his body to produce his trademark unwavering grin.

The woman seemed a little hesitant at first. “Are we interrupting something? I’m so sorry... we are big fans.”

“You are such an inspiration to us,” the man added with excitement.

“Thank you!” Hawks beamed, his beautiful features never betraying what was going on under the table. “Want an autograph?”

She quickly nodded, rummaging through her purse to get a pen. “Our baby will love you, too. We’ll make sure of that.”

Hawks visibly swallowed. “Baby?”

“Yes! We found out we’re going to be parents last week.”

You side-eyed him closely. Inwardly, you started cackling in delight, knowing far too well this was one of Hawks’ most intimate triggers. It was far too obvious that being in his rut made it all much worse for him

“Congratulations! How is everything going?” you inquired sweetly, applying gentle pressure on his covered erection with your toes.

He shifted in his seat, doing his best to cope with the sudden stimulation coming from you.

The woman seemed taken aback by your kindness and quickly bowed her head while handing the pen to Hawks.

“Oh, the morning sickness can be quite draining, but otherwise I can’t complain.”

Her partner handed Hawks a copy of a magazine that had him on the cover. He blushed awkwardly. “She keeps it in her purse in case we run into you so we can get an autograph.”

“That’s awesome,” he said genuinely, his voice slightly strained as he drew his signature on it. “Thanks for the support.”

The couple retrieved the magazine and bowed to both of you before walking away.

“That is so cool...” you said, twirling the lollipop stick in between your thumb and index finger. “I wonder what it feels like being pregnant.”

Hawks moved your foot away from his crotch. “Bathroom. Now.”

Your mouth fell open at his sudden outburst, sliding your foot back into your shoe. “Why?”

He rose to his full height as his red wings quivered slightly. “I’m done with you.”

Placing the hard candy back on its wrapping, you gulped as you followed his lead. The café had started to get more clients, and some of them shot a few glares at the winged hero.

The waitress was eyeing both of you. “Is everything okay?”

Hawks shot a brief smile. “She’s not feeling well.”

He certainly had a way to have things go his way.

She looked at yo worriedly. “Should I get help?”

Hawks hurried you into the bathroom, before adding. “She’s with the number two pro hero. I’m all the help she needs.”

Point taken.

Hawks pulled you into a small cubicle, shutting the door with a kick. You heard the lock rattle and you took the opportunity turn around to face him. His massive wings struggled to fit inside the confined space, which caused him to look more menacing as they coiled up against his body.

“You’re rutting.”

His pupils were fully blown and you briefly saw something flash in his eyes. “Of course you know.”

“I know a lot of things,” you cooed, dragging down one hand to squeeze him through his pants. “You’re not taking your medication.”

You’d been dating Hawks for a few months now, and you found out that he went through a rut every year by mere chance. It didn’t take long for you to connect the dots after hearing a phone conversation between him and someone from the commission — you assumed it was a doctor —, who insisted that Hawks had to take the hormonal suppressant medication to lessen the effects, allowing him to function properly.

“I don’t fucking need it,” he snarled at you through gritted teeth.

“I think you do... if you’re so willing to fuck me in a public bathroom,” you whispered seductively, giving his cock a gentle squeeze. “I wonder what made you snap... was it the conversation about pregnancy... or—“

Hawks had had enough of your running your mouth, and with little effort on his part, he flipped you over so that you were now pressed against the bathroom sink, a tall mirror capturing your surprised expression along with his feral one.

“No, little bird...” he growled, hooking his gloved fingers in the belt loops of your pants. “I am not gonna fuck you. I’m gonna breed you.”

It was a dark promise, and one you knew he could keep. After all, that was the purpose of a rut: to breed. Every single cell in his body was prepared for this, and you couldn’t bring yourself to pretend this sudden shift in Hawks’ demeanor didn’t make your pussy clench.

Your hands were supporting your weight by gripping the edge of the cold material of the sink, and you tentatively leaned forward in an attempt to brush against his crotch.

Hawks slid one hand to your front, effectively undoing your pants. “You’re ovulating... fuck...”

That caught by surprise. “What...”

He shifted his body on top of yours, so he could nuzzle your neck, capturing your scent.

“I can smell it... fuck...fuck... you need to be bred...”

In one swift motion, he yanked your pants down. Hawks was usually so much more gentle with you during sex; this was definitely something unexpected, but that you couldn’t stop yourself from yearning.

On the other hand, you considered his words for a moment. Did he really mean it? Did he really want to knock you up, or was this just his hormones talking?

Either way, this was turning you on beyond belief, and you decided to egg him on.

“You want to breed me?”

He was nipping at your neck, causing a few of his moans to be heard. You could feel the hard print of his cock pressed against the curve of your ass, and as you bucked your hips instinctively you felt his own meet you halfway, setting a slow rhythm.

“I need to knock you up... I need you tummy all swollen with my baby,” the young man kept mumbling more to himself than to you, but you couldn’t get enough of it. “I need your... your...”

A gush of wetness leaked out of your pussy as you felt him fumbling with his belt. Through the reflection in the mirror, you could see a faint blush settling on his face, increasing his handsomeness by a tenfold — you didn’t even know how that was possible.

“My what...” your voice came out in a low mewl, keeping your hips swaying at a steady pace.

Hawks undid his pants at once, and gave your ass cheeks a few slaps with his leaking cock.

He gripped your hip tightly. “Let me see your tits...”

You kept yourself balance on one hand as the other dragged the fabric of your shirt up, rolling it just above your breasts. Hawks released his cock, bringing his hips forward to have it slide between your round cheeks; you could start to feel the wetness coating your skin and standing your panties as he kept humping you. His free hand moved to grasp your bra, jerking the material down and finally exposing your hardening nipples.

Hawks heaved a deep breath, resting his chin on your shoulder as he looked at your body through the mirror.

“Can’t wait until they get bigger... full of milk... leaking for me...” he brushed his gloved thumb across your sensitive nipple, causing it to harden even more. “I bet it will taste so good... so sweet... you know I love sweet things.”

Your mind was going blank from all the pleasure being delivered to you at once. From his cock slowly fucking your ass cheeks all the way to the way he was glaring at you through some public bathroom mirror while spitting out the filthiest things you had ever heard him utter.

He snapped his hips hard for a split second, almost causing you to lose balance, forcing you to grip the sink with both hands, eyes still fixed on the way your breasts bounced softly along with each shove from him.

Slowly, he dragged his hand to your lower abdomen, massaging it with spread fingers. “Fuck... I need to feel it getting swollen... gonna knock you up so good.”

Streaks of precum were sliding down your cheeks, leaving wet trails behind and sending jolts of pleasure running down your spine.

“Sorry, but I’m gonna make you cum fast,” he suddenly said.

You weren’t really sure why he was apologizing for that, or even how he intended to achieve such feat. Hawks was more than capable of pleasuring women, but even the most skilled man certainly had his limitations when it came to how fast they could make a woman reach her high.

Even so, apologizing for giving someone an orgasm probably ranked up high with the likes of “Sorry, but I’m going to give you a new house” or “Sorry, but I’m going to give you an unlimited supply of money”. Out of all the things he could feel sorry for — like desperately banging you in some public bathroom, for example—, that one should be the least of his concerns.

As if reading the skepticism splattered across your face, he gave you a knowing smile, and before you could even wonder what he meant by that you felt something poking your covered clit.

What the...

“Hawks!”

You didn’t expect desperate Hawks to play fair, but this was on another level. The fabric covering your soaked pussy was being pulled to the side, and in no time a velvety object started proving your pulsing clit.

He was using his feathers.

Now you knew what he meant by making you cum fast, the bastard. The sensation was overwhelming, and you vaguely wondered why he had never tried this before.

“Shh... I need you to cum first, so I can have your pussy milking my cock,” he pressed a kiss on your neck. “Be a good girl and keep your voice down.”

With one hand still caressing your tummy and the other squeezing one breasts softly, you tried hard to bite back your moans as his feather kept stroking your clit as he commanded.

You started panting heavily, drunk in pleasure. “I... I... Hawks...”

Seeing that you weren’t going to be able to keep quiet, he brought the hand on your breast to clamp it over your mouth.

“You’re so ready for me... I can feel the vibrations through my feather... you’re throbbing so much for me, baby...”

And it was the absolute truth. Your were absolutely sure his feather was already drenched in your juices, but you didn’t care at all. A few more flicks and strokes sent your hips into auto-pilot, trying to get more friction.

Long and drawn out moans erupted from your throat only to be muffled by his gloved hand.

You could feel something in your core swirling and shifting and through the haze of passion, you could tell it was the tension building up inside you that was reaching a dangerous peak.

“Good girl... t-that’s my girl... getting ready for me to breed her...”

His dirty talk served as the perfect incentive for you to get closer and closer to the edge. You saw your vision begin to tunnel and suddenly you fell headfirst into the explosion of pleasure that had your arms and legs shake violently, and you thanked the heavens that Hawks’ body was pressed against yours, or you’d have sunk to your feet.

But before your pussy could stop contracting around nothing, you felt your body being pushed forward and in one quick slide, his cock was buried deep inside you.

Hawks’ hips faltered for a second as he adjusted to your tightness. “Fuck!”

The feather brushing your clit stopped its ministrations, and as your field of vision started clearing, you saw it hovering in front of your face. It was completely covered in your juices and a few droplets dripped onto the sink. His hand fell to grip your hip, and your lips immediately parted in a silent scream as overstimulation took over.

“Keep it open... lick... lick it...” he groaned, his voice strained and shaky as his cock endured your contractions.

You extended your tongue out, allowing is feather to drag along it, pooling your wetness on your tongue.

Hawks’ reflection shivered before your eyes at the newfound source of pleasure. “F-fuuuck... just like that...”

His wings fluttered as so did the feather stroking your muscle, and even though your orgasm had already subsided, the never ending stimulation from his thick cock hitting deep inside you was just too much.

“I’m gonna lose it! Fuck!” he nearly cried out, ad you could only pray that no one could hear him outside.

Your knees bucked weakly as he snapped his hips into you once, twice and again closing in on his own release, but the moment you ran your tongue over the sensitive extension of his body you knew he was done for. He bucked up to meet your hips in an especially sharp thrust and you could feel the hot gush of his cum deep inside you, coating your trembling walls, mixing with your own juices.

He hadn’t lasted long, but you weren’t at all surprised, considering how much the vast array of different stimuli that he was subjected to in such a sort amount of time.

A few seconds ticked by, and he finally began pulling out, you pussy reflexively clamping around him as if to make him stay.

“Stop clenching like that before I get hard again...” he warned, giving your ass a soft smack as he slid out completely with a loud slurping sound.

You whimpered softly as emptiness filled you instead. As you were about to straighten yourself, you felt a blob of cum threading to spill, and Hawks promptly kept you leaning forward.

“I didn’t just fill you with a big load for you to waste it all,” and with that, he dragged the tip of his cock along your leaking pussy and pushed it back inside. “There you go... all stuffed again.”

The head of his cock didn’t stay inside you for long, and once he slid out you reached for paper from the dispenser hanging on the wall.

He grabbed your arm. “No.”

“I need to clean myself...”

“No, you don’t,” Hawks whispered sweetly into your ear, and you felt him tug at your panties before letting the fabric slap your over sensitive clit. “You’re gonna be a good girl and keep it all in.”

Your eyes widened in shock. Certainly, he didn’t mean that....

“Hawks... I can’t walk around with your cum dripping from me,” you stated as a matter of fact.

You saw his reflection in the mirror; he had a devious smile dancing on his lips, making your insides coil in sudden realization.

“Didn’t you want me to breed you? Then keep my cum inside your tight pussy,” he began, planting soft caring kisses on the side of your neck in between. “Think you can do that for me, beautiful?”

Feeling your panties sticking to your swollen lips with the aftermath of both your juices and drops of his cum made a shiver run down you entire body.

You nodded once.

Suddenly, he bent over slightly to grasp the waistband of your pants, quickly dragging them up your thighs.

“Time to go,” he huffed as one of his gloved hands brushed along his unruly golden locks of hair. “This was just meant to be a quick coffee run.”

There was a faint smudge of pink crossing his nose and resting on both his cheeks. He looked positively less tense, with his blush being the only indicator that he had just emptied his balls deep inside you.

He unlocked the door and exited first, but not before shooting his Hawks-like smile at you. “I’ll be going ahead to pay and deal with the fans.”

You chuckled as the door closed, and turned to look at your reflection in the mirror while adjusting your clothes. “Well... don’t look at me like that. He’s impossible to resist, especially like this...”

After you were done washing your hands, you took a few steps immediately feeling a few drops of cum dripping onto your panties. You clenched your pussy hard in the hopes of preventing more from spilling.

This was not going to end well.

Taking a deep breath, you walked out and were met with the waitress. “Oh! Are you alright now?”

Yeah, I just got fucked hard and I have cum leaking from me. “Yes! Thank you, and sorry for leaving like that... I really wasn’t feeling well.”

She nodded in understanding, stepping aside to let you walk into the lobby only to see a loud commotion of people piling up around something. Big massive turfs of scarlet feathers quickly gave it away and you smiled fondly.

Hawks.

A few girls standing nearby were giggling to each other, catching your attention.

“Oh my... he’s so much more handsome up close,” one said with a dreamy sigh.

“His wings are so pretty...” the other murmured.

Yes. Hawks had that effect on nearly everyone he crossed paths with. In one way or another, people had the tendency to fall fo him and be drawn by his quirky personality. Even if at the end of the day, once he got home, you could see the wearing effects of having to keep up with this society’s standards.

As the crowd began to disperse, he waved a hand at you.

“It was so nice to have you here, Hawks,” the young waitress blurted out as you two made your exit. “Please come again!”

The number two pro hero bowed his head and gave her a thumbs up. “I’m sure I will. Very soon,” he winked at you.

Very poor choice of words.

-

Masterlist

[ahundredtimesover]

Inevitable (03) | JJK

Pairing: Jungkook x (f.) Reader (ft. ot6)

Genre/Tags: exes au, parents au, baseball player!JK; angst, fluff, smut (18+)

Series Warnings: foul language, alcohol consumption, minor character death, explicit sexual content in future chapters (oral, unprotected/protected sex but be safe please!)

Chapter Word count: 7.7k

Summary: You convinced Jungkook to break up years ago so he could pursue his lifelong baseball dream. Now he’s back home, staring at you, and the little boy next to you who looks unmistakably like him.

A/N: I do love me some angst but I enjoy writing soft moments just as much. I hope you enjoy this one, too! Thank you for the appreciation for this story :) Also, you can message me if you want to be part of the taglist (or if I missed tagging you)!

Series Masterlist || Previous || Next

##

The place that Jungkook chose is a little French cafe that has a light and airy feel to it, and you think it’ll help Jungwon feel a little less intimated. There also aren’t many people around, which is surprising for a Saturday brunch hour. 

You make out the table far back, by the glass window where you can see the flowers outside. Next to Jungkook is Jin, then Namjoon and Ara. The empty seats reserved for you and Jungwon are those in front of Jungkook and beside him.

You approach them, with everyone except for Jungkook - who just nods at you - standing up to give you a hug, with Jin spending more time than usual. With everything that’s happened, you didn’t realize how much you’ve missed your friends, too. They were collaterals of this whole ordeal; now you’re glad that you feel like starting over with them as well.

Jungwon stands behind you, arms wrapped around your waist when Jin comes close. He’s an unfamiliar face so it’s natural for the little one to be shy and hide behind you, like what he usually does, but he loosens up when you talk to him and make him feel comfortable, so you excuse yourself because you want him to feel comfortable around Jungkook.

You find an empty chair by the wall and sit Jungwon there.

“Hey sweetcheeks, we’re going to meet some of Mama’s friends, okay? They’re new people but they’re very kind and funny,” you say, kneeling down in front of him. 

You get the brown backpack he’s wearing and take out his stuffed elephant, one of his many playmates that he likes to bring around. You place Mr. Choochoo in his arms, explain to him what you’ll do and that he can have some sweets later. 

“Okay, Mama. I want some cookies,” he says in his tiny voice. 

You tell him you’ll order some and pinch his cheeks, then you kiss his forehead, causing him to giggle, and you kiss him some more because you know this also makes him feel relaxed. 

Jungkook watches from afar, the pang on his chest reminding him of the time lost, and he wonders if he’ll ever be like that with his own son. Jungwon is at a critical stage where trust is being developed, and Jungkook wants to be someone whom his son can trust. 

The feeling in his chest grows as you approach them again. You give him a smile and help seat Jungwon next to his father.

“You remember the other day when you broke your airplane? Someone fixed it for you, right?” You ask.

Jungwon nods, eyes still focused on you.

“Good, because he’s here. Look,” you say, pointing to Jungkook. “He’s the kind man who helped you.”

Jungwon turns and looks at Jungkook, who returns his curious gaze with a grin. The little one is probably familiarizing himself with the man in front of him, as he nods and shyly smiles. 

“Hi, buddy. I’m Jungkook,” he says and waves. “What’s your name?”

“Jungwon,” he whispers.

“How old are you?”

He responds by raising his hand to show four fingers. 

“And when’s your birthday?”

“July 6!” Right as he answers, it registers to him, causing him to beam, the kind that reaches his cheeks and Jungkook’s heart is soaring. And just like that, the pang in his chest is gone.

You mirror Jungwon’s smile, knowing that’s enough of an icebreaker. He’s a sensitive kid who remembers kindness, and that day at the grocery, he saw it in Jungkook. You could chalk it up to some father-son connection if you like, but you also know that Jungwon tends to gravitate towards other gentle people, too.

The brunch goes surprisingly well, with Namjoon directing the conversations, knowing that it would still take some time to really settle into what was once familiar. 

Days like this used to be a weekly engagement filled with jokes and unfiltered comments and hand holding between you and Jungkook, but everyone seems to be careful, reserved, almost unsure, like the glass will break at any wrong move. 

Perhaps you’re all just giving this time for both father and son to be familiar and comfortable with each other. You know it will take a while but it’s something you don’t mind at all. 

Jin is talking about his recent trip to Japan and his new ideas for another restaurant and you’re engrossed in his stories, until soft laughter catches your attention. 

You turn to Jungwon, who’s laughing at Jungkook as he uses the macarons for eyes and makes weird faces, the latter pulling the sweets apart into smaller pieces and giving them to Jungwon who easily chews them. He offers Jungkook pieces of his cookies too, who dramatically devours them.

“My cookies!” Jungwon giggles.

You soften at the sight and excuse yourself before tears pour out and you will yourself to get it together in the washroom. You knew it was going to be a heartwarming proper meeting of the two but you weren’t ready for that kind of moment. 

For all his shyness, Jungwon seems to be really comfortable with Jungkook, who’s doing so well, too, letting your child take the lead, not forcing anything, and being his usual sweet self. 

Soon enough, brunch is over and you inform them of having to leave right away to make it to Jungwon’s dentist appointment in time. You place him in the car seat and turn to Jungkook, who’s now able to properly look at you, probably for the first time this whole day.

He opens his mouth to say something but his eyes lock in on your neck instead, a familiar piece of jewelry gracing the delicate feature. He stills and you’re confused, until you realize he’s looking at the necklace you’re wearing, the one with the moon and stars that he’d given you on your first year anniversary. 

He told you that it was because you light his darkest nights and you squirmed at the cheesiness, smacking his arm and threatening him of getting rid of it if he ever spewed disgusting shit like that again. He loved that reaction, but deep down, you both knew that he was telling the truth. 

It was that piece of him you could keep to yourself, one you didn’t have to share nor explain to anyone else. Out of everything you kept of your time together, the necklace was the only thing that didn’t make you break down every time.

You keep your thoughts at bay then nod at him and ask him what he meant to say.

“I’d really like to do this more,” he utters, eyes on your face now. “And not just on weekends. Whenever we can work out a schedule, that would be great. I mean, he and I have so much to—“

“Of course, Jungkook,” you cut him off, knowing he meant to say that there’s so much time to make up for and you don’t want today’s meeting to end on that note. “Let’s work something out, I’m sure Jungwon would love that, too.”

You exchange numbers, as well as awkward smiles, like you’re some teenagers saying goodbye on their first date. It’s a little refreshing though - way better than the last time when he was shouting and crying in front of you. 

Any passerby may think it’s the makings of a romantic relationship, but if they only knew. You loved this man, and quite frankly, you’re unsure if you ever stopped.

“I’ll see you again, yeah?” You finally say.

“Okay then. I’ll see you.”

**

It’s not lost on you and Jungkook that you’re both on very unfamiliar territory. 

During your time together, you’d had moments wherein you weren’t particularly fond of each other or weren’t in the mood yet had been comfortable in the silence. The tension was never overwhelming and you just let the moment pass until all was good again. 

The longest fight you had lasted for 3 days. Yoongi called for a celebratory dinner over his song making it to the top of the charts and you were ignoring Jungkook, who sat next to you talking to your other friends. 

It was  an hour later when he eventually pulled you in a hug, and whispered that he missed you and won’t be drinking banana milk for a whole week as punishment for accidentally deleting your entire midterm paper. You caved in then, laughed and deemed it punishment enough, and spent the rest of the night working on said paper in your dorm, a behaved Jungkook playing mobile games next to you.

When it came to both of you, no silence was too loud, no conversation was ever unwanted, and no moment was ever too tense and uncomfortable. 

Except for that time in your apartment. 

And maybe now, when you’re both seated in front of each other, Jungwon to your left and of all times, decided that he just has to finish coloring the butterfly from his art class. There are two seats that have been empty the past 15 minutes, and you and Jungkook have been engulfed in the most awkward silence there is, even with the background chatter of the restaurant you’re in.

Days after the brunch and official meet up almost two weeks ago, Jungkook had asked to grab dinner - you picked up Jungwon from daycare after you were off at 6PM and headed to the restaurant with Taehyung in tow, only to find Jimin accompanying his best friend. Two days later, the same thing happened, only with Namjoon and Jin that time. 

The Sunday after that, you had both Namjoon and Taehyung with you - because your brother wouldn’t confirm immediately and you needed a backup - as you and Jungwon walked to the park, only to find Jin and Jimin there as well. Everyone, of course, burst out laughing but neither you nor Jungkook found it funny. 

“What are we, your chaperones?” Jin had asked then, laughing at the whole situation upon realizing what you and Jungkook had both been up to, calling up friends to join you on the weekly father-and-son dates. “You’re both adults who can very well manage conversations, don’t you think?” Jin continued.

You and Jungkook had shyly stolen glances at each other, nervous to be caught looking at the other’s reaction, because Jin had been right. You can only wonder what Jungkook's reasons are but you were calling them up to accompany you because you don’t actually know how to carry a conversation with Jungkook anymore. 

You don’t know what to say that isn’t an apology, you’re nervous to talk about Jungwon and make Jungkook feel bad again for how much he’s missed out on, and you can’t really talk about yourself because this isn’t about you - it’s about your son and the relationship he needs to develop with his father.

Never mind the feeling of longing, of the curiosity over what made Jungkook come home, of the interest in his life in the US and how he’s been doing. 

Never mind that you want to hug him because everything has been overwhelming and Jungkook always knew how to make you feel better with his hugs and caresses. You don’t have that right anymore, you think. You don’t have the right to ask about his life after you broke his heart, you don’t have the right to miss him, nor to get to know him all over again. 

You need your brother and your best friend not just to carry conversations but also as support when you feel weak, as you observe Jungwon be so natural around his father. 

Jungkook had only introduced himself by his name but Jungwon had taken to calling him Cookie Monster since their moment during that first brunch. No uncle, no anything, and you hope it stays that way. 

Jungkook had also been bringing different brands of chocolate milk and you’d overheard him describe the taste and texture like a 4 year old would understand, and Jungwon had been asking you to buy each brand that Jungkook had introduced. 

You'd heard him ask your son about his favorite animals, what he likes to eat when he’s sad or happy, and what his favorite bedtime stories are. You’d felt your heart balloon in size at this, how careful and thoughtful Jungkook still is, how gentle and caring, and how careful, seeing as he stops himself from ruffling Jungwon’s hair or engulfing him in a hug. 

You felt like crying when you’d seen your son answer every question with enthusiasm then ask Jungkook the same things, too, and even more when he finishes coloring and tugs Jungkook to ask if he likes it.

It’s those moments that break and hold you up at the same time. It hurts to be reminded of what you deprived them of but it’s also comforting to see how natural everything has been for them. 

Jungwon is shy but gravitates towards those he connects with, that he feels comfortable around, people who are like him. It’s why he’s very fond of Taehyung, and why he runs to Namjoon to be carried on his shoulder or to be tossed in the air because your brother may be serious yet clumsy but he’s careful and gentle when it comes to your son.

You used to think that if you hadn’t been a single parent, Jungwon wouldn’t be as close to you, seeing your lack of gentleness. You’d only learned to be so because you’d treated him like a fragile being, out of the fear of what would’ve happened if the fetal distress wasn’t detected as early as it was. If anything, your son has taught you to be more tender, affectionate, more loving.

You cried so many nights in the room you shared with him, and you wanted to believe that his lack of crying as an infant was because he was giving you the time and space for it, that it was okay. He was quiet, barely caused trouble, and you also believed it was his way of telling you that you can depend on him not to make things too hard, too. You’d held him so tightly every night as he grew older, and he learned to do the same. 

In the moments that he'd caught you breaking down because of work or other things, he’d climb on your lap and hug and kiss you until you stopped crying. Like that one time when you randomly went on social media and saw the engagement rumors between Jungkook and Korean-American model-actress Maia Park. It was two years ago. It’s what also convinced you to finally, finally let Jungkook go and move on. 

Jungwon hugged you until he fell asleep, and you hugged him even tighter, as the hope of you three being a complete family died that day. Since then, you’d stopped checking social media and stopped religiously following the Dodgers’ games, only using them as background noise since Jungwon somehow found throwing and hitting balls amusing. Like father, like son, you used to think. 

You don’t realize you’d reminisced again until your phone beeps, the same time as Jungkook’s does. You’ve been in this restaurant for over 15 minutes and your friends are never late.

“Jimin says that he was asked to stay for costume fitting,” Jungkook says, reading the text message.

“Taehyung says that he tripped on a block and ended up splashing the entire paint can he was holding on his wall and it looks like the shape of a pretty tree and now he’s filled with inspiration and wants to repaint it,” you say in one breath, causing Jungkook to laugh at your deep exhale after.

“Hmm, very original,” he says.

“Very Taehyung, you mean. At least Jimin’s excuse is more believable,” you answer back.

“Well, they pulled the stops tonight, didn’t they? Reminds me of that time when Yoongi treated all of us because his song topped the charts. He said that he actually just had a minimal role and that wasn’t a cause for a celebration,” Jungkook shrugs. “You’d been mad at me for days and I kept complaining so they admitted setting it up so we could see each other.”

“Are you serious? All this time? I was so proud of Yoongi for that, kept bragging to my friends that he was big time because of that song,” you laugh, willing your heart to not go overboard with its beating because the most that Jungkook has spoken to you when he wasn’t angry, it’s to recall a memory of you together. 

“Well, they tricked us then but they’re very transparent right now.”

You laugh again and you pinch yourself for overreacting to not-so-funny statements. You hate that even after all this time, Jungkook still makes you feel giddy. Now, there’s just an added desire for him to pay attention, for you to impress him, a complete opposite of how you started years ago.

It’s silent for a while, and you and Jungkook turn to Jungwon at the same time, probably thinking the same thing that the kid will be your distraction but his eyes have been focused on the butterfly, and he’s not budging. Not even when you ask how he’s doing because he just replies with a hum and you know that’s code for don’t disturb me, I’m busy. 

“We should order,” Jungkook finally says, and it takes another couple of minutes before you both decide on what you’ll have. 

With no other source of distraction, Jungkook settles on making the first move.

“So… how are things? How’s work?” He asks, sipping on his glass of water like it’s the tastiest thing in the world.

“Good. I, uhm, work for an events management company so we do parties, fundraisers, bazaars, things like that. It’s a lot of work but my boss is very kind and lets me take some days off to compensate for working on weekends and stuff,” you respond, willing yourself to be more comfortable.

“Oh, so it’s not the marketing firm anymore, that’s great. Namjoon said you worked over 12 hours then and I can’t imagine how tiring that must be.”

“You talked to my brother… about me?” You ask, trying not to read into it much. You assumed they only talked about meeting Jungwon, but Namjoon never mentioned anything more and you wonder why.

“Yeah, I just, uh…” Jungkook stammers, trying to come up with an excuse but he knows you’ll see right through him.

“I just asked how things were for you during uh, the pregnancy, and after.”

“Why?”

“I just wanted to know if there were any issues with Jungwon’s birth, you know? Wanted to know if he got everything he needed…”

You wince at the insinuation that you wouldn’t make sure that Jungwon would get everything he needed and Jungkook picks up on this and tries to save himself before it’s too late, before you think he’s an asshole for making such an assumption.

“I mean, of course he did. Not that I don’t think you didn’t make sure he got the best of everything.”

“I tried my best, Jungkook, and you’ve spent time with Jungwon. He’s doing well, I’d like to think that has much to do with how I raised him,” you say, your tone a mix of sadness and anger. You never had to defend yourself for how you raised your child, especially not to his father. But you also can’t blame Jungkook, especially when you’re the one who didn’t make him a part of your son’s life. 

“I know, he’s such a smart and kind child. I didn’t mean to imply that you didn’t do your best. That came out wrong, I’m sorry,” he says, and you believe him. “I guess I just wanted to ask if there was anything lacking or that needed extra attention so I’d know what to compensate for, like medical bills or vitamins or other things?” 

He’s right, and it makes sense. It definitely has nothing to do with him asking how you were doing, how the pregnancy and the aftermath was like for you. 

“What about school? Other activities like sports or art clubs? Maybe he’s into music, we can enroll him in—”

“Jungkook…”

“Please don’t tell me not to help financially because you know I will. Not just because I’m obligated to but because I want to,” he sighs.

“Yeah, I guess we need to talk about that…” You say nervously.

“I can cover everything he needs. Does he need to switch to a better school? He’ll be in primary school next year, right? Are there other toys he wants? Maybe I can—“

“I’m doing perfectly fine in providing those, Jungkook. He doesn’t need ‘more’ or ‘better.’”

“I’m not saying you aren’t, I’m just saying I can help so that…”

He holds your gaze, knowing he can’t make you feel like he’s antagonizing you. When he asked Namjoon what you went through, he admits he wanted to feel some form of pity, as if to mask or replace the overwhelming feeling of pain and anger. Anything would’ve been better than those. 

After that, the feeling turned to sadness, to helplessness, like defeat, knowing there was nothing he could’ve done to make it easier for you, to make you understand that you didn’t have to do it all by yourself just because you made a decision all on your own.

Having spent even just a short amount of time with Jungwon, he knows that his son was very much loved, was given all the best things in the world and that’s because of you - you who refused to give him less, you who worked so hard and gave everything you could, running on the sheer amount of love you have for your child even if things were difficult. Jungkook doesn’t want you to feel alone, especially in providing for Jungwon. 

What Namjoon said hit him, how you only ever asked help if it was about your son, but never when it was about you. Jungkook knows you still wouldn’t, so he’ll make sure to ease the financial burden, the worry, the stress, the amount of time you spend taking care of your child that’s taken away from the time you spend taking care of yourself. 

Because he’s noticed - he’s noticed the bags under your eyes, the slight shaking of your hands that’s probably from the excessive amount of caffeine intake, your work phone that constantly buzzes even when you’re off the clock, your consumption of sodas that signifies your heightened stress. 

There’s a droopiness to your face, a mark of tiredness that’s laid permanent residence in your whole being. He doesn’t even wanna ask when the last time you had proper rest was. 

“I’m saying I can and want to help so you can have time for yourself, too,” he continues. “So you won’t feel the need to clock in extra hours or take extra jobs, so you can have actual time of not worrying about anything. I mean, kids can sense if their parents are stressed and they can acquire that...”

Your eyes widen at his statement again, causing him to pinch the bridge of his nose in frustration because he’s really not saying this the way he wants to, but then he also doesn’t know how to tell you these things without him sounding like he believes you’re not good enough for Jungwon. Because you are, more than he can imagine. 

“I’m terrible at this,” Jungkook says.

But you laugh. You laugh because he looks stressed and worried over what he’s telling you but you get him. Mad as he was a few weeks ago, you know he’d never harbor such terrible feelings towards you to the point of doubting your capabilities as a mother. 

You wish he means more, though, but you settle for this. He will help in all ways he can because he doesn’t want you to be too stressed out. Jungwon is at the age where he can pick these things up; your habits are things he can acquire and you don’t want that.

“It’s okay, I understand,” you smile, and it’s the softest one you’ve given Jungkook since he’s arrived. 

“Jungwon will be starting primary school next year so there’s this kindergarten I saw; they balance the learning with the arts really well and they do a lot of field trips and I think it’s a good transition to first grade.”

“That sounds really good. So that’s where you plan to enroll him this fall?”

“Yeah. It’s private though, and it’s affiliated with the primary school I was hoping to enroll him in next year, that’s also private. I was gonna get a loan from the bank and—”

“I’ll take care of it, don’t worry. I can take care of his fees in kindergarten and daycare too, if you don’t mind.”

“That’s too much, Jungkook.”

“It’s not. You’ve worked too hard the past 5 years. You can take care of the other essentials because you know him best. Let me take care of the others, and vitamins too and check ups and stuff. Please.”

He’s insistent and you know he won’t budge. You also know it’s his right and obligation to do all this.

“Okay, then. Whatever I save can go to his college fund.”

“Which I’ll also be contributing to…”

“Yes, that’s correct,” you smile. 

The food arrives and the silence isn’t as suffocating. It’s a first step, deciding on the financial aspect of raising your child. You know there are many others, but there’s definitely one very important one to discuss.

Jungkook clears his throat and peeks at Jungwon who’s busy with his stew, mindless of the others around him, with you constantly wiping his cheeks and reminding him to drink his water. You turn to Jungkook with a curious gaze.

“When can we uh, tell him about me?”

Of course. When will you tell your son that Cookie Monster is actually his father? 

“Oh, uhm. Well. He’s definitely comfortable around you already. But I think it’ll take some more time. I don’t wanna rush him because it’s big news since it’s just been me and his uncle Taehyung and uncle Namjoon for a long time and…”

“No one else?”

“What do you mean, no one else? I mean of course there’s Jimin but they don’t see each other as much and…”

“You know what I mean,” he says softly, as if he doesn’t want to directly say it.

“Oh. Uhm. Well, I dated someone before but like, it wasn’t—“

“Did he want to be Jungwon’s father? Did Jungwon like him?”

“I don’t introduce men I go out with to Jungwon, Jungkook. I mean, the men know I have a son but I never introduce them.”

“Why not?”

“Why do you need to ask? It’s only you. It’s always just gonna be you.” 

“Has he asked about… me?”

“Just twice. He’s curious but he doesn’t dwell on it.”

Jungkook just nods, taking everything in.

“I always planned on telling you, Jungkook. I hope you know that. I just needed the right time, and I had to figure it out especially after your en…” You pause, hoping not to open this can of worms because things are already going well.

“My what?”

“Your supposed engagement with…”

“Those were rumors, ___. We were never engaged, never planned on it,” he corrects.

“So you two aren’t…?”

“We broke up over a year ago.”

You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding in.

“Relieved?” He smirks.

“Just thought that, you know, Jungwon will have another mother and he’ll call her like, Mommy or Mother or something and she might be more fun and gorgeous and—“

“Hey,” Jungkook interrupts your rambling. He chooses not to comment on your now glassy eyes, which stare at his hand that’s found itself on top of yours. He immediately removes it and calls for you to look at him.

“That’s not happening, okay? And if I did marry someone else, that woman will just be a stepmother by name. You’re Jungwon’s mother, the only one. No one will be more fun and gorgeous in his eyes, you got that?”

“Yeah,” you mumble. “Thank you.”

You decide to dial it back before your thoughts go elsewhere. “But going back to your question, let’s play it by ear, is that okay? He’s very attentive so he’ll maybe ask more about you one day. I also don’t want to rush him.”

“Sure, I mean. I don’t wanna scare him away too. We’ve been making progress.”

“I know! He’s very natural around you.”

“Doesn’t mind me when he’s coloring or eating, though,” Jungkook pouts.

“You’re not alone in that,” you laugh. “This one time, he was coloring this picture of a unicorn and I was trying to get his attention because it had been a long day and I wanted a hug and he shushed me and told me to be quiet. Like, this little kid really shushed me, huh?”

“Is he really as sweet as we believe him to be?” Jungkook laughs.

“Actually, when he was finished, he went to my lap and hugged and kissed me, told me not to be sad anymore.”

“Okay I’ll never doubt him again,” he smiles.

“And then there was one time, I baked muffins and I asked him to try so he was nibbling the edges, then the crown. And he was taking his time! And I kept asking if it was good and he was just humming until there was just the center left that had some chocolate custard and he ate it in one bite and was just smiling at me then…”

You pause at Jungkook’s longing smile, the kind where he’s happy but also wishes he’d been there.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t…”

“No, no. Please. I wanna hear these stories. Don’t hold back. Don’t mind how I react,” Jungkook explains. “At least I won’t have to imagine how he was like growing up.”

Your heart warms at this, at the shift from the angry man the other week to one who’s now softening at the stories of your son, something that’s making you feel a hundred times better. 

Jungkook meant it when he said that he just wants to focus on what happens next. He’s spent so many sleepless nights thinking about the night of the break up, what went wrong, how different things would be, all the what if’s in your relationship, and in his relationship with his son. 

He has let himself feel all the negative emotions towards you and he didn’t like it, didn’t like that he could feel all that for the woman who’d been his world, his light, the love of his life. He doesn’t want to focus anymore on the time lost but on the time he can make up for, for the time that he now has. 

You indulge him, tell him stories about Jungwon, how he was a little late with talking and used to write letters from right to left, how you worried about this but how it was easily addressed, being that Ara is a developmental pediatrician and had taught you different practices to ensure his speech and cognitive skills are in tune with his developmental stage. 

You talk about his first steps, his first trip to the park, and how he’s afraid of the water - just like his mother, Jungkook says. You talk about how he likes fish so much so he doesn’t eat them, but that he loves vegetables and would only throw tantrums if he doesn’t get to eat sweets. 

And you talk about how respectful he is, charming in his own shy and soft ways but a fighter all the same, how he’s very smart and can do many things on his own.

“He really took the best parts of us, don’t you think?” Jungkook says, as he looks at Jungwon who’s coloring a ladybug this time. “Strong and independent like you, charming and cute like me?”

You burst into laughter. “You think those are your best qualities?” You ask.

“I mean there’s more and I could definitely list them all now but also, look at him! He’s so adorable, and he got that from me!”

“He is, and he did get that from you, I won’t lie,” you say, something that you always thought about, how the universe was cruel and wonderful at the same time for gifting you a child who looks just like the man you loved with all your heart, who reminded you everyday of what you lost and of, ironically, what you still had. 

“He has your lips, though, and those scrunched eyebrows when he’s focused,” he points out, and he says it with so much affection. “I’m sure there’s more he got from you and I can't wait to discover them all.”

“Me, too, Jungkook. Me too,” you say, ignoring the thrumming of your heart.

It’s Jungwon’s yawn that forces you and Jungkook out of your bubble again, not realizing the time that’s passed. You’re glad you had an early clock out today so at least it’s not yet too late and the little one can make it to bed on time. 

The dinner ends and Jungkook walks you and a sleepy Jungwon to your car, the silence a welcome one this time.

“So, I have a busy rest of the week so uhm, can we meet on Saturday? There’s a park with this cool playground near my apartment; I think Jungwon will like it there. We can have lunch after,” Jungkook says as you close the backseat door.

“Of course! Just text me the address and the time and we’ll be there,” you respond, liking this new dynamic between the both of you, texting each other on when and where to meet, freed up schedules and all. 

You both stand there awkwardly though, unsure how exactly to end the night, given that your friends had ditched you both. Your phones beeping saves you this time.

“How was it?” You and Jungkook say at the same time.

“They’re not even being subtle about it,” he laughs. 

“I bet they’re actually together right now, thinking of the best time to message,” you say.

“Probably not expecting we’d go on this long, too,” he mumbles, peering up to look at you with that shy smile of his, and you hope there’s no physical manifestation of how flushed you are right now.

“It was a good night. Thank you, Jungkook.”

“Thanks, too. So, uh, I’ll go ahead,” he says, then nods and turns away. It was a good night, and it was the first time that he felt comfortable, light. Like things were okay, like things are really going to get better. 

His mind goes back to weeks ago at your apartment - how he acted, the anger seeping through him, and how you looked - tears falling helplessly down your cheeks, a sight he’s never seen before, and one he doesn’t want to see again. He couldn’t hold you then, he didn’t have the mind nor the heart to. He’s not sure if he’s ready now, so he settles with words instead.

“___,” he calls out.

You turn around, not really expecting anything else, and for a moment, your heart stops beating.

He walks towards you with a shy look on his face, although his eyes avoid yours.

“I just, uh. I just wanted to apologize for that day at your apartment when I—“

“Jungkook, you don’t have to—“

“Just let me, please,” he interjects you this time, his voice soft, and a long breath escapes him. “I’m sorry.”

“I won’t accept it. You shouldn’t be sorry for the things you said because they’re what you felt. They’re warranted and—“

“Then I’m sorry for how I said them. That’s, that’s not who I am. You didn’t deserve that,” he stammers.

“I did,” you respond, and there’s a pang in his chest at your resigned tone. “And it’s okay. I would’ve reacted the same way.”

“I know I’ll never truly understand why, but it doesn’t mean that I don’t appreciate everything you’ve done for him.”

“He might’ve been unplanned but it doesn’t mean he’s a mistake. He’s the best thing that ever happened to me,” you say, meeting his eyes.

It’s a moment you share that needs no words, and Jungkook nods and leaves it at that because deep in his heart, he knows that Jungwon is the best thing that’s ever happened to him, too.

“Text me when you get home, okay?” He says.

You mumble an okay and head out, forcing yourself to stop smiling like an idiot the whole drive back home.

[To: Jungkook] We’re home. Thank you again.

[From: Jungkook] Alright! I had a really good time tonight. Sleep well, you two. Good night :) 

And with that, you don’t stop smiling like an idiot until you fall asleep.

**

You trip over trains and dolls on the floor, hastily putting them in the box that houses most of Jungwon’s toys. You place all the laundry in the washing machine, quickly fix your bed, and remove the clutter on the coffee table. 

By some not-so-great turn of events, you had a client schedule a 2PM meeting on a Saturday that you couldn’t turn down, which meant that you then had to meet your team at 11AM to prepare. 

You’re glad that Jungkook didn’t make a fuss about it when you called him in the morning, saying that you can’t make it to the park like you agreed to do. You trust him dearly but it’s still too early in the getting-to-know-you stage, so you’re not sure how Jungwon will take it if he spends the day with Jungkook without you. You expected him to reschedule but said his Sunday is full and asked if he could just go to your place instead.

“He and I can just play or watch cartoons, is that okay? I was really hoping to spend today with him but if it’s too much, that’s fine,” Jungkook said over the phone.

You didn’t have the heart to turn him down so you agreed. 

You tried to do whatever cleaning up you can manage because you didn’t want him to judge you for still being a little messy and you wanted everything organized while you focused on your meetings.

With Jungwon bathed and with snacks placed on the table, you think you’re ready for your guest, who should be arriving right about now.

The doorbell rings and it’s a familiar sight, but a welcome one. You lead Jungkook in, tell him it’s just a humble one-bedroom apartment and he waves you off. He settles the lunch he bought on the table - noodles and seafood pancakes, Jungwon’s favorites, you'd mentioned. 

“He’s in the room, I’ll go get him,” you say, and walk the several steps to your bedroom.

Jungkook looks around and takes it in. He was too angry the last time he was here so he didn’t pay much attention. It’s pretty clean, he thinks, and laughs at the thought that you probably did a quick clean up before he arrived since you’re not usually this organized. Or maybe that’s changed with you too, as with other things. 

“Hey, buddy,” Jungkook greets. He kneels and tells Jungwon that they’ll be spending time today while Mama works and Jungwon says he’s excited. He leads Jungkook to your not-so-grand living room and takes out some dinosaurs from one box, mumbling about them being in trouble, then opens another one. 

“Then Ironman saves them all!” Jungwon announces. 

The look on Jungkook’s face is unrivaled, the kind you secretly have been hoping for, hence why you deliberately kept this from him; you wanted Jungwon to be the one to reveal his undying love for the superhero. You’re surprised he’s never mentioned it before, but you also think that he wanted to show-off his toy collection first.

“You’ve been holding out on me!” Jungkook tells you. “He… We… We both believe in Ironman supremacy, ___. He’s really my—”

You nudge his shoulder before he prematurely reveals the truth, and you laugh at his expression and his wide eyes as he goes through the Ironman box because of course it has its own, as all the toys are delicately placed inside. 

Jungkook is in awe but really, it’s not much. They’re all just different versions of the same dolls and cars. You’ve tried to limit this because Jungwon will outgrow them at one point, but thinking about Jungkook’s continued love for the superhero, you think Jungwon actually might not.

The two get in their groove immediately and sit side-by-side, Jungwon introducing each of his toys because each Ironman has a different name. Jungkook indulges him and starts making sounds and Jungwon joins him until it’s just a chorus of pppshssss and bangbangbang and pfffffftpboom and you can’t help but laugh along. 

Taehyung always deemed those superhero movies to be too loud so he wasn’t into the toys either, and Namjoon would always end up explaining the science and ethics of superpowers as if his nephew is one of his college students, so for Jungwon to have someone who just gets him, even if it’s just about making sounds and making Ironman toys fly and protect the dinosaurs from a meteor, you’re happy that the little one is happy.

You leave them for a while and set the table, asking them over to eat with neither one standing up.

“Kids,” you call their attention, hands on your waist now. “Can we have lunch now please before Mama has to get ready for work?”

This feels so domestic and so real. You miss the way Jungkook’s lips form into a smile as you refer to yourself in third person and sound as if you’re reprimanding them. Since Jungkook has found out about Jungwon, he never imagined he’d actually get to experience this.

You clear your throat and it’s a sign for Jungkook that he has to follow, as the adult, so he gets the little one’s attention and brings all the toys on the table to join you three as you eat. 

It’s hilarious as they both converse with their toys and essentially leave you out but you let them, choosing instead to bask in this scene and the joy painted on both their faces. You wish this moment together wouldn’t end, though, but you also know that may be too much to ask. Jungkook is here to get to know your son, and that’s that.

You let them settle in the living room as you go from one meeting to another, stealing glances every once in a while just so you’ll have another memory of them bonding seared in your brain, for times when you need to feel better, when you want to feel happy. 

The rest of the afternoon goes that way. They go from saving the dinosaurs, to watching cartoons, then playing with blocks, earning them scowls and laughter every time those tip over and crash, creating loud sounds and distracting your work. But you smile immediately at their panicked and guilty faces, until they proceed to do the same thing.

It’s around 5PM when you finish, exhaustion creeping up on you. Jungwon surprisingly still has energy, but you see him forcing it because he wants to keep playing.

“Let’s go for an early dinner, yeah? I can order some pizza then you two can start preparing for bed,” Jungkook offers. 

You mindlessly nod from the dining table as you put away your laptop and notebook. “That sounds good, Jungkook. Thank you,” you respond.

“And maybe you can take a nap first while we wait. I’ll help him clean up the mess, too.”

You smile at this. Despite everything, he’s still the same thoughtful and considerate man you met all those years ago. You nod and head to them, kneeling in front of Jungwon who’s now sitting so closely to Jungkook.

“Hey, sweetcheeks. Mama’s tired so I’ll just get some rest, okay? You’ll be fine with Cookie Monster over here?” You ask.

“Yes, Mama,” he says, and proceeds to hug you and kiss your nose. 

“Okay, love you my little bug,” you say, and head to your room for a quick nap, not before you call out that Jungwon only eats cheese pizza.

**

It’s the knock on your bedroom door that wakes you, signaling that the food has arrived.

You head to the dining room, still clad in your leggings and pink sweatshirt, and Jungkook does a double take at your sleepy eyes, scrunched up nose, and messy hair. You’re still so adorable after a nap, but he shakes off the thought before you catch him with a silly smile on his face.

It’s Jungwon’s elephant and tiger stuffed toys having dinner with you this time, and unlike earlier in the day, there’s less theatrics and you all settle on small conversations, definitely tired but satisfied. 

Jungwon is busy munching on the cheese and the soft parts of the dough, Jungkook is watching him in amusement, and you’re watching Jungkook in awe, thinking of how he pulled through today, coming over to make sure that he got to spend it with his son, taking care of everything like the food and cleaning up because you were too busy and too tired to do so, even if you know he’s had a tiring week too. 

You never doubted his desire to get to know Jungwon but his patience and attention to everything have really surprised you. He listens carefully to the little one, asks what he thinks and feels, lets him lead and decide games and shows to watch, and talks to him like an adult. You wonder if he’d asked Taehyung or Namjoon for tips or he’d done some reading. But regardless, you appreciate it so much. You might not have had the start you wanted but it’s definitely going the way you want it to.

And as Jungkook giggles and wipes the cheese off Jungwon’s face, as he fills his glass with water and asks if he wants more, you see the affection on Jungkook’s whole being, you see the care and the warmth. You see the love. 

It’s familiar; it’s similar to how he used to look at you. And it’s this moment that you wish that he learns to look at you that way again. 

##

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[ramzawrites]

Ok I have coffeed up 🦀🦀🦀

Could I request a fic about a Male Reader Border Collie Hybridbeing hired to look after the pets of the Syndicate while theyre at a meeting? Having to feed every single dog, Ranboos cat, Carl, the parrots, Steve the bear, etc? Trying to wrangle the foxes because theyre trying to eat poison potatoes, shooing zombies off the turtle eggs? -🌱🌟

The Syndicate’s Pet Sitter - BorderCollie!Hybrid!Reader

Male

Pairings: none

Characters included: Technoblade, Philza, Ranboo, Nihachu

Warnings: n/a

Series: A request for my beloved 🌱🌟<3

Summary: The Syndicate is meeting up early in the morning and didn’t have the chance to feed their pets yet. Luckily Y/N who lives there as well but isn’t part of the Syndicate can take care of them. And no that is totally not because Border Collies are good herding dogs.

Words count: 4732

Authors Note: I just noticed I missed the foxes oh no ;_; Why do the Syndicate have so many pets I swear! I hope you guys enjoy this! Esp you 🌱🌟 since you requested it! I also haven’t had the chance to properly look over it look for typos, I apologize! I’ll deal with that as soon as I can! Also thanks for the prompt 😌 I have a weakness for animals and dogs

The chest let out a strained creak as Technoblade closed it for what felt like the hundredth time. He was preparing for the next meeting of the Syndicate and this time he, as well as Phil, had actually planned a few things other than just showing the newest members where the headquarters were and setting up the rules for the organization.

While both men were busy running from chest to chest collecting materials and writing down information into books, they were accompanied by a soft rhythmic thud as well.

That sound came from Y/N. More specifically his tail swishing up and down as he was sitting in front of a window on the windowsill. Watching peacefully as the two went about their business.

Y/N was a Dog Hybrid. A Border Collie Hybrid to be specific. He has been technically living with Techno and Philza for a while now but Techno liked to act as if he was just some stranger to him.

When Y/N first came to the SMP Philza and Techno were the first people he met and ever since then he has gotten quite attached to them.

At first Techno tried to get rid off him, especially since he always gave him wishy washy answers concerning his opinions on governments but Y/N wouldn’t let himself get spooked off that easily and even begun building his own little home close to them without asking. At that point Techno had to accept defeat and let him begrudgingly stay.

Philza liked to poke fun at that fact but he also understood Techno’s caution. Though over time Y/N has shown to be a trusty ally that could keep secrets, even once leading people astray since they became dangerously close to their home. Because of that Philza brought once the idea up that maybe they should let Y/N join the Syndicate after all as well.

Of course Techno immediately shut down the idea for the simple fact that not once has Y/N ever clearly stated that he was against any kind of government. There was no point in arguing with the Pig Hybrid about this particular topic so Philza just dropped the issue altogether.

That said after Niki came over to join the Syndicate and Ranboo got roped in it as well, Y/N managed to at least learn of the name of the organization.

He even asked to join to which Techno just said “Prove to us you are an anarchist and maybe I will think about it.”

“So you are saying you just want me to tell you the things you want to hear in order to get in? Doesn’t seem that smart to me.”

Y/N would always pull out these snide remarks whenever that topic came up.

For some reason Y/N woke up early and found that both Philza and Techno got up early as well so he just let himself in, sat down next to the window and begun happily munching on some cold steak for breakfast.

Techno made a point of ignoring him only muttering something about a “damn mutt” under his breath while Philza was chuckling to himself. Y/N’s fluffy dog ears obviously picked up on it but the happy swags of his tail continued on, knowing that if Techno really was annoyed by him, he would have already intervened way back when he begun building his home.

Phil was rummaging through a chest, trying to find some extra paper only to suddenly stop moving and turn around to look at Y/N, his arms still in the chest.

“Y/N?” adding a whistle to ensure that he would gain his attention.

As a response the Dog Hybrid looked absolutely aghast “Did you just-? Did you just whistle at me? Did you, Philza, just whistle at me to get my attention? Like a dog?”

“Sorry, just kind of happened but since you are here I have a request for you.”

Now Technoblade stopped whatever he was doing as well to observe what was happening in front of him, curious what he was proposing. A smirk adorning his features knowing full well that Philza probably whistled on purpose seeing how Y/N was kind of an unwelcome guest right now.

“You can request but no guarantee I will fulfill your request, old man.” Y/N spoke through an exaggerated pout.

This only earned him a tired sigh from Philza “Yeah, Yeah. As you can see we are up early for a reason but this also means we didn’t have the chance yet to feed the animals. Could you feed them all and make sure they’ll be alright while we are gone? You know how this place can get with pets.”

“All? Like all the pets? Like you want me to feed all the pets and take care of them?” Y/N was obviously intimated by the idea of the task judging with how his voice jumped up an octave to the end of the question. But who could blame him. Over time the group managed to amass a comical amount of pets which included a full hound army, polar bears, turtles, cows, Carl the Horse and in Ranboo’s case even parrots.

That reminded him.

“Does that include Ranboo’s bird and cat?”

“Does what include my bird and cat?” Suddenly the door swung open as Ranboo stepped inside Techno’s home. Cramping up the small cabin even more. The cold winter air only managing to sneak in for a short moment before he made sure to close the wooden door again.

Techno chuckled “We are asking Y/N here to feed our pets while we are busy at our meeting and to make sure they are safe while we are gone. He has time after all.”

Y/N’s shocked expression turned to a frown. Oh they did that deliberately alright.

Ranboo took a moment to take in the scene before he slowly nodded “Oh, if that is the case then I would actually really appreciate it if you could take a look at my parrot and cat. I haven’t had the chance to feed them yet since I ran out of seeds for the bird. Actually the reason I came over here was because I wanted to ask you guys if you had some extra.”

Techno’s smirk was ever present on his face as he motioned with his hand towards his mass of chests “Somewhere in there we have some but I’m sure Y/N will find them and take care of your pets as well.”

“Would you?”

Ranboo sounded so genuine and almost surprised by this that Y/N couldn’t come up with a snarky response but instead he looked defeated.

“I- alright. I will take care of your pets while you do your stupid Syndicate meeting.”

“We trained him well, Techno.”

“That we did, old friend.”

Now Y/N’s happy tail wagging did finally stop and he jumped up away from the window, surprising Ranboo in the process “You didn’t train me! I’m not one of your dogs!”

He knew they were joking but he still couldn’t let that stand.

Philza stepped closer to Y/N and put one of his hands on his head between his ears. Giving a short pat only to remove his hand again “Yes, we know. If that was true you would be listening to us at all times. Anyways, I spotted Niki outside and we are ready, so, we’ll be going. Make sure nothing happens to the animals! We are putting our trust in you!”

Before Y/N could protest or retract his agreement the group made sure to leave the little hut as fast as possible. Ranboo was very confused but still followed the others outside to loudly greet Niki.

Y/N himself was so bewildered by this whole situation he didn’t even make the effort to run out to greet Niki as well. Instead his thoughts begun to swirl around his new responsibilities.

What do Polar Bears eat? How is he going to feed all of the dogs? By Ender he hoped that Techno had all the necessary things in one of his chests.

That’s when a stray thought hit him “Did they hire me as pet sitter because I’m a Border Collie Hybrid? Did they seriously make me the pet sitter because Border Collie’s are stereotypically good herding dogs?”

That thought had to set in for a moment as he was asking himself if this seriously could be the case and knowing them that might have very well been a thought that crossed their minds. They all joked around about their hybrid parts but this was just ridiculous.

He didn’t know how yet but somehow he will make sure that the damn Pig and the Birdbrain will get this back tenfold. Ranboo was okay in Y/N’s book since he mostly got pulled into this by the others but even then he was still on thin ice.

“I better get going.” He whispered in order to try to pull himself out of his thoughts.

First on the agenda were the Polar Bears. Mostly since he wasn’t exactly sure how to go about it and just wanted to get it over with but also one of the Bears was laying inside the hut. Snuggling close to the fire place.

That polar bear was Steve and Techno often made comments of him being his emotional support animal and at this point Y/N just believed him. With Techno who knew at this point.

Well what would Steve eat? Just some meat?

“Fish!”

How he didn’t immediately come to that conclusion he didn’t know but better late than never.

Y/N excitedly rubbed his hands together. Time to snoop through Techno’s things. No way in hell is he going to use his own resources to feed their pets. Hence why he begun looking through Techno’s chests. Taking note of things like stray armor, golden apples and enchantment books.

Somewhere in a corner he found some cooked fish. Should be fine, right?

Taking a couple of fish he moved over to Steve who was still lazily draped on the ground enjoying the heat from the fire. Carefully and slowly Y/N put down a couple of fish in front of his big snout. His dog ears pressed down on his head as he stared rigidly at the bear. Hoping for the best.

Steve’s black nose begun to twitch. He slowly opened up his eyes and lazily begun nudging the food closer to his snout with his big paw. Snacking on the pile of fish.

“Okay? I’m guessing that’s fine? I think?”

Just to make sure he still threw more fish towards him and then made his way with a second pile outside where Ed was waiting for his food as well. Ed was way more active and often enough obstructs the way up the stairs that lead to both Philza’s and Techno’s house.

Philza was always annoyed at Ed because of that particular reason. Though today he was a good Polar Bear that was sitting next to the stairs staring at Ender knows what.

Y/N threw him his pile of fish and watched for a second as he happily begun munching on them.

“Guess I’m doing alright after all.”

Almost as if to answer the bear suddenly begun to move towards Y/N which made him panic. Stepping back, trying to understand what he was doing now. Sure the bears are cute but also big and dangerous if they wanted to be.

But Ed bowed his head down and softly pressed his head against Y/N’s chest.

“Is this a thanks, buddy? Aw, no problem.”

Tentatively Y/N placed his hand on the bear’s head to give him one or two scritches. To which Ed then let out a deep puff of air through his nose and immediately moved back to his food to continue his breakfast.

All the Polar Bears are fed. Now only the whole hound army, cows, parrot, Carl the Horse, Turtles and Enderchest the Cat were left. Oh by Ender. That is still a lot.

Y/N immediately ran back into Techno’s hut and begun to search through his chests again. Grabbing things like Seeds, Sea Grass, more fish and some steak.

The parrot and cat were the easiest to deal with first so he decided to run into Ranboo’s house. Even if just to avoid the cold outside for a tiny bit longer.

He climbed down the ladder and found the parrot patiently waiting for him. Excitedly squawking as soon as he saw him.

Placing the seeds in front of the animal Y/N took a good look at the colorful bird.

“How are you doing? Keeping Ranboo company? Making sure he isn’t feeling too lonely?”

“Company! Company!” Ranbird answered in a shrill voice only to continue picking up the seeds off the ground.

Y/N liked spending time with Ranboo. He was a bit of an enigma with his memory issues and interesting behavior at points but Y/N loved hanging out with him. He would always try to offer to play pranks on Techno but Ranboo was too apprehensive about it, not wanting to make the scary Pig Hybrid mad at him.

The two had a bit of a running joke going on where both Ranboo and Y/N would call the other weird. Ranboo for his weird behavior and Y/N for the simple fact that he apparently didn’t fear Techno at all. Philza and Ranboo having to mostly hold him back before he could seriously upset Techno.

“Enderchest? Come here!” Y/N called out and continued to do the typical mouth noises to attract cats. Luckily he did come around a corner.

Happily meowing when Enderchest saw Y/N. Chirping as he pressed his body against Y/N’s legs.

“See, you are a kitty and I am a dog hybrid but we like each other.” Was he still a bit salty about the fact that they most certainly chose him to take care of the pets due to his Hybrid side?

Yes. Definitely.

Sure, no one else was there who could deal with it but on the other hand normally they were always so prepared for everything so this must have been planned beforehand. They didn’t feed the animals on purpose because obviously he was there and had time.

A loud meow pulled Y/N back out of his thoughts again.

“Sorry, Enderchest. You are right it’s food time.”

He then took out two fish and placed it in front of the cat who immediately put them in his mouth and ran off with them. Probably to eat in peace.

Next on the list was Carl. If Y/N didn’t make sure that Carl was absolutely doing alright and was fed Techno would kill him. And while Y/N liked to joke with Techno and pretend that he wasn’t as dangerous as everyone else is treating him like, he also knew that Carl is so important to him that Techno let him get himself kidnapped by the Butcher Army for the horse’s safety.

Technoblade hid his horse behind a wall but Philza one day accidentally found it. Y/N immediately took the chance to build an actual hidden entrance. He liked being a bit of an annoyance for Techno but if he can somehow help out, he will.

Pressing a button on the stone wall gave away to the little stable he and Philza made for Carl.

“Breakfast!”

Some Hay and other food was always ready for Carl so all Y/N had to do was put some of it in the tray and make sure he still had water. Everything seemed fine so Y/N took a second to pet him.

“No idea why Techno is so attached to you but you do seem like a good one. He protects you so you better make sure to not disappoint him as well.”

Carl neighed and nuzzled his nose into Y/N’s shoulder. Softly nabbing on the clothes which made the man laugh in return and softly shoved Carl’s face away from him.

“My clothes aren’t food, buddy!”

Luckily Carl didn’t continue to screw around and instead concentrated on his actual food.

The next pit stop were the turtles and cows. It was easy feeding them since you just placed down the food and then let them go about their day. No, the dog army would be a problem later. They might be war dogs but they were still playful dogs.

Y/N closed up the stable for Carl and made his way through the snow towards the cows first. Opening up a chest that stood close by. He placed it there a few days back with a ton of wheat. It was meant as way to help with the feeding. It was meant for the others since these cows didn’t belong to him but now he was stuck with the responsibility after all.

The cows were happily chewing on the food that Y/N threw into their enclosure and seemed to be doing alright as well so he moved on to the turtles.

For the turtles he actually had to get into the enclosure. Putting the kelp down near the water so the turtles inside the water could see him placing the food down as well. All the while he had to make sure to not accidentally walk on top of the eggs that some of these turtles have laid.

The animals themselves seemed to ignore Y/N. Just slowly crawling along the coarse sand or floating inside the water.

That’s when Y/N heard a groan from behind him. A groan he knew too well.

“Oh no you don’t!”

Y/N swiveled around and pulled out his netherite sword. A sword he made with the help of Philza. During his travels in the nether he found some ancient debris but since he never worked with that material he asked Phil for help. Which was also the reason why the purple sword was called Swordza.

“You helped me make it, I’m naming it after you.” He said to Philza’s dismay.

Right now though the reason why he turned around so fast was that he heard the familiar retching sound of a zombie. It was still early in the morning no surprise there that a loose zombie might be around the place.

Also no surprise that the zombie appeared around the turtle enclosure. For some reason they loved trampling down turtle eggs which was really just barbaric if you really thought about it. Beings that seemingly just wandered around the overworld with no goal but as soon as they spot turtle eggs they suddenly know exactly where to go. Well, besides when they find a human to attack.

The zombie limped towards the turtles.

Y/N didn’t wait long to react. He immediately took a running start and jumped over the fence. Striking down with his sword while he was landing, giving the attack a little more oomph. Together with the enchantments on the sword the zombie fell down into a burning mess. Gurgling sounds escaping it only to die down. A growl escaped Y/N’s throat as he stared at the dead mob.

“Nothing will happen to the little ones while I have anything to say about it!”

He took another sweeping look around the place but found nothing out of the ordinary. With a relieved sigh he put his sword back. The turtles were fed and safe.

Though as he looked around his eyes fell unto the hoard of dogs. All fenced in under a self-made roof. Most of the dogs were laying around either in a small pile or alone. Some were trotting around or even playing but it seemed like the dogs were still tired.

It was time to deal with them.

Y/N walked over to the dogs and as he stepped closer the animals immediately took notice of him. A few running over to him while others just patiently stared. As he got closer to the fence the nearest dogs put their front paws on the fence. Barking excitedly.

If Y/N went in like this some will run out and that was not something he wanted to deal with. There was still some adrenaline pumping through his veins from back when he spotted the zombie but he was still slowly beginning to freeze. Honestly he wanted to get through this fast so he can go back into his cabin and enjoy the warmth of his hearth.

Maybe even begin to plot on how to get back at the Syndicate for doing this to him.

But this wasn’t important right now.

Y/N let out a sharp and loud whistle “Away! Come one! Move out of the way!” He pointed to a corner and surprisingly the dogs seemed to understand that he wanted them away from the gates.

When he opened said gate the dogs patiently waited for him to move in and close it again before they suddenly begun to swarm him. Jumping up trying to lick his face or they began sniffing him out.

“Hey! Stop! I can’t feed you like that!”

He had a frown on his face but his tail was happily swinging from side to side as the dogs greeted him.

“Okay, stop! Sit!”

Luckily the dogs were well trained since they immediately sat down. Still panting in excitement and whining but now they weren’t trying to pull Y/N down to play with him.

In return Y/N got out the steaks out of his inventory and walked past the dogs. Giving each one of them their share. Whenever some dogs begun to scuffle over the food all Y/N had to do was to whistle or yell “Stop!” and they would listen.

Truthfully he feared that feeding the dogs would be the most difficult task of all the animals but as it turned out they listened to him rather well. It’s probably only because Techno trained them so well but still, maybe there is a way Y/N could use this power for himself.

It didn’t take long for Y/N to feed all the dogs but once he reached the last one the first dogs were already done eating and happily following Y/N around the fenced off area. Sometimes barking, hoping to get his attention. While his ears would always move in the direction of the barking dogs, he made  appoint to concentrate on the dogs that he was actually interacting with.

Though when he was done he finally turned around to look at the happy dogs “You guys are needy, did you know that?”

As if to answer a dog right in front of him sat down and woofed at him.

Y/N rolled his eyes and knelt down, scratching that one particular dog behind his ear “You little pooch.”

That was a mistake. A huge mistake.

As he went down and balanced on the front of his feet the other dogs saw their chance as he went down to their height, practically jumping on.

Startled the Hybrid let out a yelp as the dogs pushed him on his back. Licking his face or tugging on his clothes.

He tried pushing the dogs away from his face but it he was unsuccessful. For every dog he pushed away two new dogs would try to jump into that new space. Sadly also pushing the dogs away seemed to be something fun for them.

At some point Y/N managed to get back up but still got swarmed by the dogs. All the dogs now in a happy playful mood after having eaten. Y/N could just tell them off but everyone on the outside could see that he had fun as well playing and tussling with the dogs.

Over time that tussling just became the dogs jumping into Y/N arms so he could throw them a few feet away while simultaneously trying to not fall down as some dogs begun tugging on his clothes again. The longer it kept going the more tired he got which was hi downfall. Quite literally.

He fell over again and while the dogs swarmed around him they too were getting tired and just laid down next to him. Framing his body or just straight up laying on top of him, one dog even snuggled up to his head, ending up more as a pillow for him.

At first Y/N tried to struggle against being buried alive by the animals but as soon as he noticed the warmth engulfing his body instead of the cold harsh wind he accepted his fate.

After all he was done with feeding the pets.

“Horrible. Techno would be proud with how relentless you all are.” A yawn escaped his lips which seemed to infect a few of the dogs as well.

It really didn’t take long for him to fall asleep. It was warm, soft and he felt safe.

The meeting for the Syndicate took longer than expected. They spent way too much time trying to find a common goal to start with. They didn’t want to do something huge at the beginning but start small, something that would test their cooperation and teamwork.

Though after they finally found something and started planning a few hours had past and since both Ranboo and Niki apparently had people to meet they had to stop the meeting early.

“You think the animals will be fine?” Ranboo asked Philza as they stepped out of their hidden headquarters.

The older man just waved off his question “Ah, they will be fine! We rag on Y/N often but we can trust him with things like these. He’s a good one even if he absolutely refuses to give Techno a straight answer when it comes to governments. I do believe he is only doing that to annoy him though.”

As the group approached their home again everyone took a good look around.

“Well, everything seems normal.” Techno noted.

Niki scowled “Aw I had hoped to see him. I couldn’t even say hello when I got here.”

That’s when Ranboo stopped dead in his track. He wanted to go home to get ready for Snowchester but something inside the dog pen caught his attention “Oh by Ender! There is an arm! The dogs have an arm!”

The other three ran over, confused with what the hell he was talking about only to see he was right. There was an arm sticking outside of the dogpile. Why did the dogs pile up in the first place though?

Out of nowhere Phil snorted and pressed his hand against his chest and mouth. Trying to stifle a laugh.

Niki still looked shocked and worried, confused with Phil’s reaction “What? Philza, why are you laughing?”

“Let me show you. Y/N! Are you awake, mate?”

At first nothing happened but then suddenly the arm moved and retreated back inside the dogpile. Now the others understood what happened.

Both Niki and Ranboo looked a bit embarrassed that they genuinely thought that these dogs might have ripped off an arm and were now cuddling with it.

Techno stayed stoic as always. Folding his arms in front of his chest, waiting for Y/N to properly react.

“Y/N, come on!” Phil called out again.

A muffled groan came from the pile of dogs and Y/N’s head appeared as he sat up “What?” He whined “I was having such a nice dream!”

“Oh my- Y/N! Good morning!” Niki greeted the Hybrid happily.

In response Y/N got a bit out of his furry burial but still pulled one of the ferocious war dogs closer to himself, hugging it. His tail now out as well showing the others his happy mood as he slowly drifted off again.

“Hello, Niki.” He sounded still half asleep. At least the others assumed since his face was buried in the dogs grey fur.

“Y/N please get away from my hound army. They are bred to fight and kill not for hugs and naps.” Techno grumbled.

“Then why are they so comfy and love me so much. They love me so much more than you” He made sure to drawl out the word “love” to really hammer that fact in.

“Let’s make Y/N then our go to pet sitter.” Phil noted.

This seemed to wake up Y/N, he immediately looked up with a scowl “No! I am not going to be your pet sitter! You put me in that role in the first place because I’m a Border Collie Hybrid, or am I wrong? If it’s true that’s seriously screwed up, by the way!”

Techno sighed “Yep, there he is. Now he is awake alright.”

[physicalturian]

[18+] Filthy Summer - Rengoku Kyojuro x GN!Reader (AFAB)

[No pronouns used for the reader, no physical description; Everyone +18] [AFAB Reader]

Words : 6710

Archive of our own

Follows the work of Gentle Summer or can be read on its own.

Synopsis : On a heated summer night, you and Rengoku decide to finally fuck after a pretty intimate moment.

Warning : Oral Sex / Light Bondage / Cunnilungus / Creampie / Cum play / Hair-Pulling / Power play / Marking / Aftercare / Fluff / Smut / Penis in vagina sex

If you feel like I should add more warnings, let's go gang.

- - -

A comfortable silence had set in the night. I thought I would be exhausted. Wrapped in the safety of his arms, I was certain I would fall asleep in an instant, but my body did not want to listen to logic. Something else was doing the thinking, and that was my lust. My need for him. The moon outside was illuminating the inside of the room beautifully. I could not see much of Rengoku’s face because the light of the moon cast a shadow on it. The flame of the lantern had long since died out.

I brushed my hand delicately on his cheek and sighed in silence. There was nothing I could do to satiate that need that had built up inside me; he had fallen asleep almost instantly after laying down. It seems I was the only one who was left frustrated and wanting, it’s a shame, I thought I had done a great job at riling him up, I thought in disappointment. The image of his eyes widened in surprise and the feeling of his tight grip around my hand were carved inside my mind. No matter how hard I tried, I could not stop thinking about it.

Carefully, I brushed my thumb over his lips and smiled to myself as I moved his hand to rest it on my hip. Maybe his presence would help me fall asleep, maybe he would bring me closer and hold me tight and that would calm my stupidly awake mind. Closing my eyes once again, I tried to force myself to think of something other than his lips on my skin, or his hands on my stomach, or even his breath against my ear—it’s not working, it is like asking someone to not imagine a red balloon. Of course, they will think about it, I reprimanded myself as I opened my eyes again. “I need a cold bath, surely it will help,” I mumbled to myself. It was barely audible, and clearly not enough to awake anyone.

When I was about to move Kyojuro’s hand, I felt the grip tighten, “Where are you going?” His voice was nowhere close to sleepy, the clarity of it surprised me more than anything. Looking at him, I chuckled nervously and asked, “Were you not asleep?” He hummed deeply, thinking of his next words as his hand slid down my leg. He brought it over his thigh and moved his face closer to mine, our foreheads almost touching. “One can hardly sleep with how loud your thoughts are, my love,” I was about to ask what he meant when he pressed a slow kiss on my lips before continuing, “I am very flattered that you cannot keep my hands off of you.” His hands slithered to my kimono, the moonlight helping him see what he was doing. He chuckled softly at the knot I had tied around again and undid it effortlessly.

“Did you think tying it close would help those lewd thoughts that are plaguing your desperate mind?” He asked teasingly. I laughed and nodded sincerely, “In all honesty, I did. But you are right next to me, and those thoughts are only growing.” His beautiful laugh echoed while he pulled me even closer, I let my hand wander between us and lower on his body to part his kimono. He had not dressed back when we laid down, which made it easier to simply move his kimono out of the way to have him exposed in his full glory. “You are impatient, maybe I should do something about your hands, what would you say?” He asked teasingly as he helped my arms out of the sleeves before bringing them around his neck.

I gladly wrapped them around it and leaned in for a tender kiss that was quick to turn into something more needy. His hands did not join the mix, but I did hear the rustle of cloth which made me question what he was doing. I found out soon enough when his rough hands took hold of mine and wrapped my wrists with the cotton belt that only moments ago was around my waist. I broke the kiss in confusion, then felt him lift me onto his lap as he sat up, crossed-legged like he had earlier when he wanted us to hug. This hug was a lot different.

My knees were on each side of him and I could feel his hard cock against my stomach; my core ached to feel it, so I rolled my hips in the hope that he would let me do just that. With one hand back on my hip, he stopped me from moving and brought his other hand on his cock, “That neediness was not nearly as well depicted in your letters as it is right now, with your pretty legs open like this. It’s a sight that would make any man’s knees buckle, you are lucky I am seated.” His tone, while warm as usual, was not the same. The warmth that traveled my entire body was much more carnal, less charming. “Is that so? Being fully nude on your lap is all that is needed to make you weak?” I asked playfully. With the little access I had from having my wrists tied, I pulled his hair back gently to tilt his head up and look down at him.

A pretty grin was resting on his lips, it was inviting and what kind of guest would I be to refuse such an invitation... Slowly, I dipped my head and grazed my lips against his, making sure to exhale against his mouth as our noses brushed against one another. “Tell me, what else would make you weak?” I asked, my tone sultry and playful at the same time. I heard his breathless, yet choked laugh as he half-closed his eyes to look at me, “You remembered the hair, I like it. You seem to remember my letters so well… Tell me,” His lips were pressed teasingly on mine, I did not play along and kissed him with more fervor, only to have him push my face away by grabbing my jaw with a bit more force.

“Would you please wait? You seem so eager, but we are having a discussion, my love,” He trailed his open mouth from my chin to my ear then continued, “Then again, you were that eager even before that, who am I to act surprised?” He chuckled, kissing my jaw fully. I huffed a laugh to hide the fact that I was growing flustered and said, “So were you. Need I remind you how aroused you got the moment I started kissing your body? Such tender actions, tainted by your lewd thoughts... Quite sinful, wouldn’t you say?” The moment I finished talking, Rengoku placed his large hand on my lower back to push me closer as his other one was behind my head. He then leaned forward, making me fall back on my back on the futon.

I did not hit it hard thanks to his hands, but it felt weird not being able to catch my fall because of my tied hands. Another laugh escaped his lips, his eyes wide and bright as a proud smile adorned his lips. He slowly let go of my body and moved his head from my arms so that they were now still bound at the wrists, but resting between us. “Shall we re-enact those so-called tender actions of yours?” I was confused by his words, then felt his large hand grab mine and guide them to his cock. He then wrapped them around it, sighing in pleasure when I tightened my hold around his erected member. “Good, yes-“ A groan escaped his throat as he bucked his hips inside my hands, dropping his head onto my shoulder as he kept going, his mouth open as his breath was constricted.

“Those beautiful hands that-“ a salacious moan escaped his lips again, this time right next to my ear. I couldn’t help but try to bring him closer by bringing my foot on his back and digging my heel against it to push him closer. I wanted to feel him, not just hold his cock, even if the idea of being in control of his pleasure was more than exciting. “Were so gentle in taking care of me, but-“ I could hear the smile through his words, “...but all they are good for now-“ another deep groan muffled against my skin, I wanted to see how far he would go, if he would only find his own pleasure or if he was simply having fun. I was waiting for an opportunity. “Is to make my cock feel so good-“ Feeling like his thrusts were getting wilder, more desperate, I did the thing I found the most entertaining in times like these. The moment he bit into my shoulder in pleasure, I let go of his cock and heard him gasp loudly next to me in indignation.

“Do not talk about my hands as such, they can take as much as they give.” I said tauntingly as I pressed my cheek to his face only to have him lean back and look at me with an amused expression. “I suppose it is time to enjoy how beautiful your voice is,” He grinned as he moved back slightly and was now kneeling between my spread legs. I could not keep my gaze on his eyes, for mine kept looking down at his glorious cock that seemed to be needing attention. “Although I wish to make you moan loudly, you will have to be quiet-“ “What if my moans were muffled by… something?” I tried to make him understand by looking down between his legs. His expression faltered, seemingly surprised by my suggestion.

I did not miss the smile in the corner of his mouth as he threaded his hand through his hair before slowly standing up and lighting the lantern. He joined my side again, this time he brought a knee to his chest while his other leg was free in front of him. “Seeing how you seem almost hungry for it, I will not refuse.” He gestured for me to come closer. I sat up properly and knelt in front of him, only to have him spread my knees with a gentle laugh. “You look delicious like that, my dear.” He commented, his hands sliding to my slit to stroke it a few times, eliciting a gasp from my throat.

He brought his fingers back to his mouth and licked it, the action in itself was so vulgar but the smile on his face was soft. His words were a mix of both, “You know, you must always have a taste of your meal, in case it’s not to your liking.” He leaned in and kissed me tenderly, albeit shortly, leaving me wanting more with my mouth open. He filled it with his fingers to have me taste it too and added, as I licked them clean, “After all, I will eat you out once you have satiated that hunger for my cock.” I almost gagged on his fingers upon hearing his words, he pulled them out laughing before threading them in my hair and slowly pushing my head towards his cock.

“There, I did say I would work on that gagging, did I not? It is the perfect opportunity,” He was almost determined. His other hand placed itself under my chin and held it gently as he helped his cock inside my mouth, holding me still as he did so. His fingers drummed on my throat a few times as silent gasps escaped his lips. “Very—good, yes-“ He grunted in short sentences, if one could call them such. My tongue was pressed against his length, I could feel it hit the back of my throat and slightly push in, making my eyes tear up. Saliva was already drooling from my mouth, and down the length of his cock. Curiously, I looked up at him and was met with a look I would have never thought I would see on his face, something close to threatening, no… dangerous.

Slowly, I tried to bob my head onto his member, but without the support of my hands that had drifted between my legs, I had to rely on Kyojuro’s tight grip in my hair. Sliding his hand fully around my throat, he looked at me with what was supposed to be a reassuring smile. “Beautiful, so full-“ He hissed as he moved inside my mouth, lifting my head only to let it come back after. His hand tightened around my neck at the feeling, enjoying knowing he could feel himself there. “Will you allow me to fuck your throat good? I will not finish in your mouth,” I nodded the best I could with his cock in my mouth and started stimulating myself as he started bobbing my head on his cock. While he did so, he gritted through his teeth, beaming, “I reserve that for you needy- aching- hole,” The thoughts of having him fill me only aroused me more.

Pain joined the exquisite feeling of my fingers on my clitoris, his grip was not letting go of my hair one bit as he lowered my head down his cock before pulling back. At first he leaned his head back, enjoying the feeling greatly, the sound of my whimpers around him made him more than ecstatic. I knew it from his openmouthed moans that he was not muffling one bit. When I started rolling my hips against my hand, he looked down at me suddenly, stopping his actions. “My dearest, do you need attention?” He hummed inquisitively, his eyes traveling down my body to land on my hands. “I see what’s going on, you are very smart to enjoy yourself too,” He praised me before thrusting his hips once in my throat. I gagged at the feeling, more tears streaming down my face but held back anything that I could feel coming up. “I will stop for tonight, since you are so needy.” He cooed gently.

Delicately, he pulled out of my mouth, grunts leaving his throat as he did so. A trail of saliva connected my tongue to his tip; looking at him through half-lidded eyes, I leaned in and licked it painfully slow. He quickly pulled my head back roughly, then let go to cradle my face with both hands. “You did good.” A tender kiss followed, it turned more passionate when he pried my mouth open and let his tongue venture. As he did so, he pushed me back onto the futon and broke the kiss. “Will you forgive me if I tell you the sight of tears rolling down your cheeks, along the feeling of my cock in your throat, is one that I would like engraved in my mind? You have no idea how salacious and endearing it was at the same time.”

Both chuckling, he trailed kisses down my chest to my stomach. While he did so, I croaked, “I will forgive, simply because you must be quite the sight too with my thighs around your head.” I must have caught him off guard for he snorted without much charm upon hearing my words. “I will admit, it is the best accessory I can ask for,” He commented, his fingernails barely clawing at my inner thighs as he looked at me, “And I like colorful accessories, do you?” His tone was mischievous, his eyes too but his smile was sweet. Hesitantly, I nodded. It made him grin broadly as he started fervently kissing my thighs, sucking and licking. Nibbling on them too. While his mouth would be on my inner thighs, one hand would be gripping the one being attacked while the other wrapped around the other thigh and kept it close to him.

I would sometimes chuckle at the light feeling of his tongue on my skin, goosebumps raising all over my body. I threaded my fingers through his hair gently, needing to touch him but only being able to reach that part. My legs were over his shoulders; I could feel some pain coming on the parts of my legs he had been working on, but was able to not pay it any mind thanks to the frustration I was feeling. He was so close to giving me pleasure, but he was taking his sweet time. “Kyo, why are you taking so long? Please…” He looked up, his smile more teasing than ever. “My love…” He bit my leg gently, his eyes never leaving mine before continuing, “I assumed you were patient, considering it took some long, painful courting to get us right here.” He bit the other thigh, earning himself a groan from me. He grazed his teeth on it afterwards, “I remember the mention of not wanting to be inappropriate in those beautiful letters of yours.” He trailed off, his hands slithering between my legs and onto my ass as he suddenly pulled me closer.

“Tell me, don’t you believe it vulgar to be spread as such in front of me?” I felt warmth rushing to my cheeks and down between my legs, my back was oscillating between burning hot and cold from the shivers that kept coursing through my body. “If you do not like the sight, you may let go of them, I will close them to not look too vulgar.” I said in faux confidence, making him huff in response. Shaking his head, he made sure to spread them just a little bit more. His observant eyes travelled from my eyes down to my stomach then paused to slowly lower to my spread legs; there, a smirk drew itself on his lips, “You will close them, yes,” after saying that, he lowered his head onto my slit, “Around my head. Don’t be shy to wrap them real tight, I can assure you I will survive.” He winked, then dipped his head and started lapping at my cunt.

I wanted to cover my mouth and hold onto his hair, but could only do one. I chose the former, in order to not wake up everyone with the whimpers escaping my lips. With each movement of his tongue between my lower lips, I would arch my back when he’d graze my clit with the tip of his tongue. His nose would press against it from time to time, giving it a little bit of pressure, but not nearly as much as I would need. I tried to angle my hips to guide myself on a spot that would make me feel even better, but he made sure to hold me still by gripping my sides. Looking up with a glistening chin and out of breath, he gave a slow lick between my legs, “Are you alright? Perhaps, is it not good enough?” His tone was teasing, arrogant, but loving still. I wanted to grab his chin and kiss him deeply, but did not trust he would let me. Freeing my mouth, I uttered, “You are doing it on purpose, can you please…”

Tilting his head to the side he quirked a brow, “If you look at me like this, I can hardly refuse,” He started, there was something else he wanted to add. I knew it from the look he was giving me. He did not disappoint when he spoke up again. “But only if you bring those beautiful hands back on my hair. My purpose here is to make my songbird sing, I can hardly hear anything if your hands are covering your mouth my love.” Doing as he asked, I brought my hands to him, but instead of gripping his hair I gently took hold of his chin, “So you do keep that beautiful way with words,” I commented as I pressed my thumbs on his lower lip to open his mouth. He followed my moves and did so, his smile never leaving his face. “If filthy words will not leave that pretty mouth of yours, I suppose I’ll fill it with filth myself.”

I was thrilled to see his smile change from mischievous to excited, challenged. I mirrored it. He was quick to bring my hands away from his face and into his hair wordlessly. His only response was to resume his actions with a lot more fervor, his tongue lapping at my sex with the lewdest sounds. The ache I had been feeling for so long was growing and building up inside me, I only realized my thighs were tightening around his head when I felt him grunt against my sex as his nails dug deeper in my skin. Whimpers were flooding from my mouth; it was not nearly enough to drown the salacious wet sounds from his tongue between my legs. While it made my entire body heat up in embarrassment, I could not spare one ounce of energy to feel remotely ashamed of what was happening. Moans soon followed when he started sucking on my clit, his eyes lit up with pride when he elicited a louder one.

At that, his hands slithered to my thighs to hold them open instead of around his head. He looked up at me playfully as he did so, “I liked that one, I am sure you could do it again, for me?” “Kyo—Kyo we’re not alone, don’t-“ He did not listen and returned all his attention to my sensitive nerves. My brows knotted in pleasure, I let my head roll back. I was getting close to relief, my eyes riveted on the ceiling as my entire body tensed. He did not seem like stopping, nothing was leading me to that conclusion, and it made me happier the moment my vision filled with white, and I let out a cry of relief. Utter silence followed, I slumped back on the mattress and sighed in content, my hand had long since let go of Rengoku’s hair and was now resting on my stomach.

I gasped when I felt a lazy tongue lick between my folds then saw Kyojuro’s face right above mine, a stupid smile on his lips. His skin glistened from my filth. He was not grinning, but I knew something was going on when he kissed me softly and pried my mouth open to deepen the kiss. His tongue intruded my mouth with something more salty than saliva, it took me some time to come to the realization of what he had done; I quickly broke the kiss and swallowed to speak but was interrupted by the sliding of the door open. I looked behind Rengoku’s shoulder in panic, trying to bring him against me to cover my sweaty form. It was pointless to fake sleeping since the light was on and my eyes were wide in shock.

The sleepy form of Uzui stood there, his hair messy and his eyes, half-closed, focused on us. “It’s Tengen.” I whispered to Rengoku who still had his back facing the door. “He is half-asleep.” I added. The red-haired smirked and kissed my neck, “I’ll tell him to leave.” He chuckled before pulling the blanket on my form as he stood up. He did not bother to cover himself as he made his way to the door, fully nude and uncaring of anything. “Giyuu said he heard something, but since it was coming from your room he did not dare come in case y’all were…” the silver-haired man waved his hands in front of him to explain exactly what he meant; as he tried to look behind Kyojuro’s shoulder, the latter moved in the way to block his view. “In case you were fucking, clearly he guessed right.” He laughed, facing the Fire Pillar again. “We are, is there anything else?” Rengoku asked.

There was a pause, I was starting to calm down which made me feel annoyed since I wanted to finish what I had started with my lover. “Well, clearly the night has just started,” The Sound Pillar laughed again, “Just tone down the moans and all that, fuck all you want but just a bit more silent, yeah?” Kyo nodded and gestured for him to leave, still as confident as ever without needing to cover his cock, nor the marks all over his body. Before leaving, Uzui glanced behind Rengoku the best he could and covered his mouth in excitement before looking at my lover again. “Tied up? On the first fuck? You are wilder than I thought, Ren!” I heard him say, quickly I tried to cover my hands more. Uzui slapped his hand on the lion-like man’s shoulder and said, “Good for you, both of you. Have fun, don’t be late for training—and take a bath, there is paint all over the damn place. That’s some weird shit you’re into, not going to lie. Good night friend.” He then bid us goodbye and closed the door again.

Rengoku returned by my side in seconds, “Unnecessary interruption, I hope it did not turn you off my love.” He whispered softly as he removed the blanket from my form and pressed a kiss on my stomach. “All of this because you told me to uncover my mouth, it was obvious someone would hear.” I berated him playfully, thinking he would perhaps apologize but still say he did not regret it. While he did the latter, partially, he added more to it. “If it was that obvious, why did you do it?” He asked with a smug smile, his face close to mine once again as his fingers danced on my thighs. Slowly, they slid to the inner side of it while I stared at him confused, “Because you asked me to do it…” I told him with my cheeks heating up.

“You could have refused, my love.” He breathed, his lips ghosting over mine. “You know I would not have minded if you had refused.” He added, this time pressing a teasing kiss on my lips. I could feel the smile on his lips as his hair tickled the side of my face. Breaking the kiss for a moment, he pressed himself more against me and as he spoke, “Did you want to get caught?” he slid two fingers inside me, making me gasp silently at the unexpected feeling. I shut my mouth to hold back any groans from the thrusts of his fingers, but he was not having it; his free hand moved to my mouth and pried it open with his thumb, his expression softer than ever. “There, my love, I am sure you can give me a proper answer. Don’t be distracted by my fingers, focus on me.” As he said so, he made sure to add another finger and to rub his thumb on my clit.

Swearing under my breath, I tried to grab his shoulders, but was still bound and grunted in desperation. “Maybe you wanted that—“ He curled his fingers inside me, grunting in satisfaction at the sound that escaped my throat. ­Rengoku’s face was nested in my neck, his teeth grazing my skin as he whispered right next to my ear, “My love, you obeyed so dutifully when I told you to open your pretty mouth,” He chuckled to himself, never stopping his thrusts as I kept whimpering under him, trying hard to stay as silent as possible. When I rolled my hips against his hand, he kissed my temple softly and caressed my cheek. The tenderness of his actions could not balance the roughness of the one that followed when he grabbed my throat to bring me into a delicate kiss that he quickly broke. “Can you obey once more and answer my simple question? I’m sure you can be good and do that for me, hm?”

Giving him a long look, I smiled lazily and cradled his face in my hands to kiss him longingly, the sounds of my moans were muffled by his mouth. It did not take long for the kiss to grow more sloppy, more needy and clearly hungry. Feeling Kyojuro’s cock pressed against my thigh, I closed them around his cock and made him moan into the kiss, breaking it in the process. “Do not think I will be satisfied with just fucking your beautiful thighs, my love,” His gaze never leaving mine, he brushed his thumb on my throat and pulled his fingers out to spread my legs and instead place his between mine. Leaning over once again, he pressed the tip of his cock against my hole but did not move, instead he kissed my cheek, then my throat and grabbed my tied hands delicately. My eyes followed all of his movements, never leaving his body. I wanted to know what he wanted to do next, I wanted to be ready, to not be caught off guard again. “Would you like to use your hands again? I’d like to think it would feel better for both of us if you could use them.” He smiled gently, his hands playing with mine while waiting for an answer.

“I think you’ve held me down long enough; I would love to be able to run my hands all over your gorgeous body.” I said playfully, thrusting my hands towards him even more. I held back from smiling to not let him know what I was planning on doing. He scoffed and smiled before undoing the knot; the moment I was free, it did not take me more than a few seconds to bring him down and roll him over to be the one on top and pin his hands above his head.

The thrilled expression that was adorning his features filled me up with glee as I leaned over and ghosted my lips over his, just as he did before. “My turn,” I breathed with a smirk, “But I won’t tie your hands, I think they will be more than useful when you will be desperate to feel me more.” I taunted as I placed my hands on his hips and raised my hips above his hardened cock; I did not have time to lower myself that the Pillar held me in place and sat up. It made me move my hands on his shoulders and grip them tight, in case he decided to take control. “Do you remember my question? I believe I am still waiting for your answer.” He grinned darkly, an open kiss pressed at the spot where my neck and my shoulders met.

“It was… thrilling that Uzui was there, but it is simply because it is the boldest we’ve been in front of him,” I said softly, then lowered my tone and ghosted my lips against the shell of his ear as I added, “If I am being honest, seeing you walk there without covering yourself was a lot hotter than that idiot being there,” One of my hands placed itself on his jaw as I kissed his cheek, “And I got to see your beautiful bum too, which is more than a simple sight.” Chuckling, we kissed passionately, our hands traveling one another’s body. I could feel his cheeks were burning up, perhaps from the efforts and all the energy spent, but I liked to think he was flustered from my words. I realized his hands were not holding me anymore, while they were resting on my hips again by the end of our fiery kiss, they were doing just that, resting.

With my hands back on his shoulders, I did not waste time and lowered myself onto his cock. I tried hard to hold back the swearing from flooding out of my mouth, but the feeling of his cock stretching me out was painful and blissful at the same time. Without paying attention, I had spread my legs wider to get more of him inside me. Warmth spread all over my body when I heard him sigh in content, his hands gripping my waist to hold himself back from pulling me onto him with force. His nails were pressing hard into my skin and only dug more when I had him fully sheathed inside me and I rolled my hips once, twice. Looking up at him, I saw he was staring at me with hunger, a clear carnal desire that I matched by kissing him wantonly. One hand was splayed on his cheek while the other held onto his shoulder as I started lifting myself up and down his erected cock, rolling my hips as I did so. Soon enough, our grunts of pleasure started filling the room, our sweaty bodies melted into one when he wrapped his strong arm around my back and pulled me even closer.

The slick sound of his cock thrusting in and out of me made the act even more vulgar, but at this very moment I could not care less. I was focused on feeling each part of him, on feeling his burning touch traveling from my back to my shoulders as he tried to bring me even closer to bury his face in the crook of my neck. His moans were the most beautiful sounds I’ve ever heard coming from him, the heat emanating from his entire body was heating mine in return. His warm breath made my neck feel like it was on fire, even more so when he bit into it and groaned in pleasure as he started thrusting more. I had long since wrapped both of my arms around his neck and was holding onto him with force.

No words could escape my mouth, only whimpers and muffled moans as I tried to cover my mouth. I kept switching between covering my mouth or grabbing his shoulders, desperately trying to stay balanced but when he leaned forward, I let him tilt me back onto the floor with his hand resting behind my head. With his free hand, he held onto my waist and started ramming into me, his breath ragged and his mouth open as groans and moans escaped it, emphasizing each of his thrusts. Seeing him so primal was a sight I do not believe I could get tired of. Through high-pitched whimpers I reached out for his face, sliding my hand to the back of his hair as I pulled him closer once again. “Kiss me, please.” I pleaded. “Yes, of course, yes.” He replied, his speech hurried, tone desperate as he lifted my head from the ground with the hand resting behind it. The kiss was clumsy, dirty but it felt so good.

It felt so good to be this close to him, to not think of anything but the pleasure one was giving the other. He hiked my leg over his hip to angle himself better and as he did so, I arched my back in satisfaction, he had hit the perfect spot. He must have understood that since he swelled with pride and kept hitting that very spot over and over again, his speed decreased to a taunting one. “Look at you, squirming for more,” He huffed and caressed my stomach, down to my thighs, “Are you close, my love?” He had asked with a soft breathless smile, his hair covering the sides of his face. “Yes, please,” I let my head fall back once more and sighed, trying to catch my breath, “Please, make me cum, I’m aching for release, if you don’t—“ There was no need for threats, he was more than glad to resume his thorough fucking. There was no other word for it.

The entire evening had been love making, intimacy, gentle touches, but it had now turned into something so desperate that it could only be called fucking. Hands reaching for any sort of hold onto the other, sweat making the grip less secure, the paint from our bodies had long since tainted the sheets and was no longer adorning our backs. Our hands were covered in said paint, and as they traveled from back to shoulder to face, it left a colorful trail that made the body look even more like a work of art.

Soon enough, the tension that had built up inside me reached a peak. All I needed to break that tension was a few more thrusts that were strongly provided by Rengoku’s rough, heavy, forceful hips. At this blissful moment, all I managed to do was hold his arms in a death grip and mutter his name under my breath alongside swears as I felt myself tense for what felt like too long before letting my entire body relax and my hands fall back to my side. Kyojuro followed soon enough, one hand reaching for my cheek as he caressed me gently. His look was desperate as his thrusts became more erratic, seeing as if he was about to pull out, I wrapped my leg around his waist to stop him and with a tired arm reached out for the side of his neck to pull him close. “Don’t pull out, I want to feel you, all of you.” That was all he needed to finish, his movements stopping as his head fell back in utter pleasure.

Silence followed, moments after Kyojuro laid down next to me in exhaustion. He still had enough energy to help my head onto his chest to caress me gently, both of our bodies were dirty and reeked of sweat, but I could not care less. I did not want to think of anything but this very moment, from his words he wanted that too, “If you give me one hour, I am sure I could do that again.” He whispered, his eyes locked on the ceiling as a proud smile adorned his lips.

Trying to face him, I turned around on his chest with my chin resting on it. “Give me a few days, I am definitely not ready for more. As good as it was, I am out of commission for the time being.” I laughed as I trailed my hand on the scar on his stomach. I was relieved when he did not tense up and instead mimicked my actions but trailing a finger on the scar on my back. “Do you have energy to spare for a bath? I do not believe we’ll have time in the morning to bathe. It is already pretty late.” He explained softly as he rested his cheek against the side of my head, I was already starting to feel sleepy but knowing he was right, I pushed myself off of him and nodded sleepily. “I will find the energy. If I fall asleep in the bath, it is your responsibility. Understood?” I asked playfully as I handed him his kimono before draping mine over my form.

“I will keep you awake by talking to you without ever stopping, does that sound good?” He asked cutely as he stood up. He reached out for my hand, helping me stand up before pulling me close and hugging me gently.

“There is nothing more I could ask for than to hear you talk, please do.” I huffed a laugh then kissed him tenderly, enjoying each and every second spent by his side on this beautiful evening. When I pulled back, I tucked his hair behind his ears and grinned, “Tying your hair was not very helpful considering most of it fell from the ribbon.”

“It matters not! I looked very hot to you for a moment, I am sure you enjoyed it while it lasted.” He winked, his hand sliding down my arm to hold my hand. “Now you have the responsibility to wash my hair-“ “Mane,” I corrected him, “It is no longer hair seeing how many knots there are in it.” I continued playfully as we made our way out of the bedroom.

As we finished the night, I thought for a second I could imagine spending the rest of my life in this pure happiness, having someone I loved by my side, taking care of that someone as they took care of me.

Maybe everything will be alright, maybe I’m allowed some happiness.