#which makes sense giving his backstory and relationship w sex

[elfcollector]

I'm a better man for having met you, kadan.  I just hope this made things a little easier on your end.

[morethanonepage]

what would you say are the dynamics and themes that interest you most? Also frankly I'm surprised you read any star wars fic still, I agree on just wanting to read some good finnpoe but that has gotten increasingly futile.

i mean the thing i potentially like so much about finnpoe is that they BOTH have very specific, in some ways very different traumas (finn being a child soldier and growing up in such a highly regulated way where he had basically no bodily autonomy VS poe being mind-raped AND seeing his inability to stop it as having betrayed his own people AND seeing so many of his friends & comrades die in quick succession AND still recovering from the loss of his mother as a child and Muran when he was commanding Rapier Squadron) but they both have a tendency to compartmentalize that and continue to function on their own while being loyal (Finn’s devotion to Rey, which gets a lot of flack in fandom but like -- that’s one of the first people he’s been able to form a connection with!! AND I think he lowkey feels that it’s his fault Rey got dragged into -- everything, so he feels a great deal of responsibility for protecting her) and passionate about a cause (Poe basically killing himself to keep the Ideals Of The Republic Alive, be it through trying to hunt down the FO before he’s even part of the Resistance, to doing everything he can to keep the Resistance afloat once he is). 

like they have those similarities -- a real sense of duty and responsibility toward their friends and those they’re fighting with -- but they have fundamental differences in approach that the movies did a shitty job of extrapolating on when it could’ve been such an interesting conflict: Poe is the idealist and thinks of duty to a higher ideal first and foremost (like Leia and his mother, tbh) whereas Finn is more of a pessimist and a cynic and believes protecting your friends and loved ones from the substantial evil is hard enough without setting up to FIGHT ALL OF THE BAD IN THE UNIVERSE like Poe wants/believes he has to do. and both of these things are based so much on their upbringings! Poe grew up with those ideals and freedoms and parents who fought, successfully, to protect them, and believes he owes it to them to live up to their example and protect them as well; Finn has SEEN the evil of the FO firsthand and seen everyone around him subsumed by it, believes it to be omnipotent bc for him and his squad mates it literally was. escaping all of that was an act of powerful resistance on its own!

idk i just think a lot of the fandom’s take on this is, if you focus on finn ~running away~ in canon or not wanting to join up with the Resistance just ‘cause it’s ~the right thing to do~ you’re feeding into this idea of black men being cowards and/or selfish when it’s like no! that’s the consequence of his trauma: he’s running away from an abuser who controlled every aspect of his life, who’s set up to hunt him down and destroy planets and take over the universe in a way that’ll mean he’s NEVER safe, and he knows every single person he grew up with and had some affection for are a part of it too, which on the one hand he might be reluctant to fight them, but on the other they 100% won’t be reluctant to fight him AND they know him well enough to know his weaknesses. 

all of this is A LOT and it’s heavy and dark stuff, which i GET can be hard to work into like, light fluffy fic about finn finally being happy or learning what sex is or w/e, and not everything about fanfic has to be a ~deep exploration~ of character’s inner turmoil but like -- idk. there’s ways of dealing with these elements of finn’s backstory without making the whole thing drudging tragedy porn (which is ANOTHER fanfic trend i can’t stand -- neither Finn nor Poe are characters entirely without hope and fics that treat either of their tragedies [lbr it’s mostly poe’s that get dealt with] as the focus or main characteristic of either also bum me out) and I just really wish fandom had more interest in it. 

Another factor that KILLS ME is how Poe has (justifiably) developed OBVIOUS distrust for the force and force users, and would have such a fundamentally hard time dealing with the fact that Finn is one. Canon didn’t even let Finn be explicitly force sensitive, and fandom is like YAY FINN IS FORCE SENSITIVE, NOW HE CAN USE THE FORCE TO BONE (POE), and any fic that does touch on it makes Poe out to be ~unreasonable for not trusting Finn, or having his distrust be a consequence of his PTSD alone, and a sign he has to deal with his shit VS a very real issue that Poe might genuinely not be able to get over: the force CAN be creepy and is too easy to abuse, and a lot of what Poe’s seen it used for WAS bad. 

the other dimension of all this is, accidentally or not, these dynamics take on all sorts of real-world implications given both actor’s identities -- the explicit parallels between Finn’s upbringing and chattel slavery (taken from his family at an early age, losing all connection with his birthplace and culture, seen as useful but dispensable by an oppressive, mostly-white empire)  & its legacy for Black Americans (that lack of connection with a historical homeland and the loss of a cultural connection that came from it) VS the first generation latinx immigrant narrative that Poe and his family embody (the sacrifice for and long separation from a child in the service of giving them a better life, the burden that child takes upon themselves to make that sacrifice worth it by excelling in certain spheres, the drive to be the VERY BEST representative of their new culture, the embrace of that culture’s ideals bc they don’t want to think their parents sacrificed everything for a lie [with the creeping knowledge and experience to know many of those ideals are flawed and not always lived up to]). 

and the canon ignores that bc addressing it would require world building that couldn’t center/come back to the Skywalkers in some way (and the only family dynamics it’s interested in is DADDY ISSUES, fucking Free Fall), and fandom doesn’t care about it bc it’s mostly white girls who, AT BEST, decide to focus on the potential ~sexuality conflicts (coming out, family rejection, etc) when writing real world AUS, without dealing with the intersectionality of a black and a brown man, their respective cultural context, and the resultant conflicts those would create beyond, idk, “POCs are always homophobic so finn and/or poe’s parents kicked them out or w/e”.  and like I really don’t WANT these people trying to grapple with the complexity of a queer, interracial relationship where neither participant is white (i’ve seen enough just watching them grapple with either character’s sexuality tbh). 

but idk, that’s what’s interesting to me: finn and poe’s backgrounds and how those set up fundamental conflict points for both of them, both in canon (Poe’s devotion to the cause of liberty and democracy for the whole galaxy VS Finn’s duty to the people he loves over anything else) and in a real world au (Black people have a fundamentally different relationship to the American Ideal than Latinx immigrants do, for very good reasons). And I want those things to be significant elements of the characterization for both, but not the ONLY elements of characterization for both: stories should, in even some small way, be about what characters WANT (even if it is just “to fuck,” as it often is when I write [ok it’s usually “to love but be able to show it without saying it, hence the fucking”]) and so few fics, these days, give me any sense of what finn and poe want besides, vaguely “each other” (”because the author feels like they have to write them bc the actors are hot/for woke points”) and that is just -- boring to me. 

also god i would just love to read some dialogue that isn’t just twitter/tumblr memes and/or mcu level mean quips. like, just in general. 

[homeformyheart]

NSFW was my original intention but if you do both, it will make me very happy. Thank you!

can do (i totally understand going on anon for nsfw, but anytime you want to pop into my askbox or DMs to talk about adam or twc, please do!!)

i’m so excited to explore this for adam & regina since they are my most established twc pairing! this will be a long post, sorry (but also not, because i love them and this is definitely going to help inspire my canon relationship fic for them)!

based on this fluff list and this nsfw list (always accepting asks for any of my detectives/pairings!)

Fluff answers

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

Ugh this hits me in the heart since I picture this a lot and have already written stuff for this that is definitely their canon story. Regina definitely pictures having a family with Adam, in part, because she wants (in some ways, a redo) a family of her own and be the mother she always wanted. It takes convincing for Adam to agree though because of how aware he is of her mortality and wanting to protect her - adding children to that would make it that much harder. Regina wants to rebuild Adam’s family line - in a way that makes sense for them both in the current era, as a way to help him also come to terms with what happened in his past.

I have not yet decided in their canon story if she turns or not and I think at the time she has kids, she is undecided, so another reason is to make sure that Adam has a piece of her through their family line after she’s gone (if she decides not to turn).

I’m getting emotional thinking about this - but I’ve written pieces of this in several prompt fills & full fics (including the scenario where she dies of old age). I think there are at least four prompt fills focused on post-marriage life, so happy to let you know which ones if you want.

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon. I picked:  L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

I picked this one because I have a wip planned for this - don’t know yet if I’m going to give it a happy ending or angsty ending and whether it’ll be a one-shot or part of their canon story, BUT he begs her to say it first, basically.

I don’t want to spoil the fic but I am also really excited about it so... okay, basically something big happens and Adam truly realizes he doesn’t want to run from his feelings anymore (he almost loses Regina physically, then mentally, then emotionally in that order) and she asks him what he wants and he asks her to “say it, please” and it’s an incredibly vulnerable and terrifying moment for her because after Bobby and other relationships, she’s sworn never to say it first.

I have not yet decided if he says it back (hence whether it’s happy ending or angsty ending is TBD).

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

This one is an interesting one. I think Adam would be more cliche, but classic in romantic gestures - like hand-written letters, flowers (starts with red roses until he learns her favorite type, etc.), etc. and she would absolutely adore it, not ever having someone be that way with her before.

I think how they are with each other definitely evolves throughout their relationship - like Regina is very stubborn and hates being told what to do, especially when Adam insists its for her protection but after getting married and having kids, she definitely comes around and goes along with him. She knows it helps him worry less and be happier and she wants to put him at ease.

This would be such a lovely headcanon to explore in more established relationship fics (now I want to daydream about this).

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

Oooh, interesting. The only secret(s) that come to mind for Regina is sort of the details of her relationship with Tane (I know I haven’t really written it yet but it is part of their canon relationship backstory) for 2 main reasons: 1) it’s not important at the end of the day - Adam is so much more important to her and their relationship is so much more meaningful in every single way, and 2) she doesn’t want him to feel inadequate, bad, competitive, etc. with anyone from her past, but especially Tane (given that relationship happened during a rough patch with Adam, and his whole issue with Unit Alpha, plus the relationship with Tane was mostly sexual).

I think over time Adam shares more of himself with her and trusts her fully. I think where he might always hold back a little are his deep-rooted fears and anxiety about losing her or not being able to protect her (she can tell and knows anyway, but I don’t think he’d admit it to her often).

(minors STOP here and do not interact)

* * * * *

NS*W/NSFT answers (hope these aren’t TMI 🙊)

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

I’m interpreting this in terms of turn ons in my answers. It won’t be a secret for long once they’re established, but Regina absolutely loves it when Adam takes control, and she’ll say or do anything that’ll turn on that side of him in bed (calling him “Commander,” roleplaying “disobeying orders,” etc.). It’s convenient that it is a very strong turn-on for him. She also loves it when he loses control - typically when she goes down on him.

An actual secret that Adam will be very surprised to learn deep in the relationship are the pair of numbing handcuffs she has buried from her time with Tane. By “numbing,” I mean they can subdue a supernatural’s strength a teensy bit (not dmb-level, and I made this up purely for the smut with Tane). I don’t know if she’d ever mention it (she might just forget about) because of reasons (answered in Honesty above as it relates to Tane). If Adam does discover it, the “numbing” spell or whatever it is (I made it up on the spot okay!) would have worn off by then, but I think he’d find it conflictingly concerning / intriguing & be a little jealous.

This may be partially inspired by a ns*w prompt ask that @crackerdumortain sent me that I’m working on, but I think Adam is incredibly turned on post-combat training Regina (assuming she hasn’t passed out in exhaustion) - in tight workout clothes, sweaty and energized, confident - I think he’s really proud of her tenacity and skill over time and there’s just something about how she exudes power and confidence after a workout that he is attracted to and doesn’t care that she is sweaty (even though she cares).

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice) Picking the same letter as fluff for consistency: L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

For Adam, I think it’s her bedroom, and then later when they move into their own place, their bedroom. For the former, it’s that symbol of trust and being let into her private / personal space, especially after she was kidnapped from her own home, that would mean a lot to him (she was never with anyone else sexually in her own bed - not even Falk or Tane, so it makes their first time there even more special).

I think Regina is more willing to explore / experiment with other locations like the shower, against the wall, other areas of the warehouse as long as no one else is home, etc. (never in the library though, she would NOT want to disgust Nate like that).

Neither of them would be into public or semi-public sex just because they want to be able to fully focus on each other and not risk an unwanted audience.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

I think Regina might be open to experimenting, and if she wants to try something, she’d have to bring it up / initiate. I’d like to think they figure out how to talk about it before trying it (as awkward as it might be) because she wouldn’t want to spring it on him in the act. I think some things he might have to think about and let her know if he’s comfortable. I do think over time in deep romance, he’d pretty much be willing to try almost anything with her (minus the public locations per above and anything bordering on harmful/bdsm).

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

I laughed at this because I know Mishka answered a couple asks on this and it upset a lot of people (I asked her a separate question about manscaping/shaving and it gave me a different impression so I choose to ignore her tumblr answers). Sorry if some of this is TMI 😅 (but I’ll start with yes, carpet matches the drapes).

I personally think Adam does not manscape until after he and Regina are well established (but not fully bare, let’s be real here) and I’m basing this off the fact that in canon he has a buzzcut and gives off that “soldier” vibe in Book 1, which to me, makes me think he doesn’t want to have to fuss or concern himself over his appearance / hair (whereas Nate absolutely spends time styling his hair imo).

Regina upkeeps her routine as much as she can - sort of a habit she built out of self-consciousnesss with Bobby (let’s say he was not very nice about it). I think with all the supernatural activity and being busy, there would have been a couple times she just didn’t bother and finally met someone that didn’t care (re: Falk - although not sure if this will be one-off or canon and Tane) and it made her more comfortable with not needing to be well-groomed all the time. Once they get together, Adam is the same way about it (but might groom himself a little bit down there out of concern for her comfort).

[queen-of-my-goofball-army]

Hazbin Hotel OC

Hey guys!! I’m back and fully recovered for the most part but I made some new friends so I wanted to talk about my new character that I made. I love this show probably way more than I should and since Addict came out yesterday I decided to redesign my OC. 

Appearance: Estelle is a white fox demon, she has bright blue eyes like she had in life. In life she was petite and usually had to stand on a ladder in order to get something from the top shelf. It was either that or Angel had to be the one that helped her get it down for her. He was a regular in her shop since they grew up together when he accidentally hit her upside the head with a soda can after she had been thrown into the trash. She has marks on her throat from when she was gripped there harshly by her deceased mafia husband. She wears a chefs hat over her ears and is usually found working hard in the kitchen if she’s not playing cards or comforting Angel.

Death Backstory: After Angel Dust overdosed and left her behind she quickly found herself slowly sinking. Her bakery was losing clientele because her sweets had gone downhill after a rival shop opened across the road. She had lost her purpose in life. Maybe that’s why she had agreed to marry the local mafia boss in Little Italy. She had agreed to the proposal to save her shop. Even though it was the 20’s she had always been as Angel had lovingly called her “different” she didn’t get engaged by the normal sexual things. In fact, she was openly repulsed by them. Every time Angel did a sex lecture she would only listen to him partially. At first, she thought that the marriage would be fine since he still had his mistresses and she didn’t think that he would ever want sex from her. She was naive and of course he eventually got interested in it with her. She remembered a lecture that Angel had given her about consent if she had ever been forced into sex. She grabbed the closest thing that she could to his head, a lamp and just went crazy on him. Accidentally, he was murdered by her and since it was the 20’s nobody believed her when she had said the truth that he would’ve raped her if she hadn’t done anything. She was hung and sent to hell for her crimes against humanity. 

A: What are/were this character’s best subjects in school? Her best subjects were math, astronomy and home economics. She was always a master at figuring out puzzles so math came more easily to her than it did to most of her classmates. The stars had always fascinated her and Angel would take her to the tops of the rooftops of New York where you could see the stars for miles around. Home economics was her favorite because she could bake for a class. She had always been a lover of baking and even though not everything turned out perfectly she still found a lot of success with the artform. 

B: Do they have any allergies? She isn’t allergic to anything that she knows of. She did make a lot of sweets that were allergy friendly was one of the first to be able to do so. 

C: Can they swim well? She is an incredible swimmer; it used to be one of her favorite things when her and Angel were kids. (Of course he was a piece of shit whenever she was nervous and would give her a push forward that was his job). 

D: How do they react to being flirted with? She’s actually used to it since Angel has been jokingly flirting with her despite women not being his cup of alcohol. 

E: How are they with children? In life, Estelle had a lot of siblings she was the go to babysitter when Angel didn’t need her for anything which was rare. She loved her family even if often she wasn’t understood by them. It was a little bit trickery for a lot of people that weren’t her best friend to understand her. 

F: What’s one thing they’re really bad at? If I were to label one thing that she’s really bad at it’s probably going to be directions. She gets lost really easily if she doesn’t have somebody walking around with her. Angel always had to be the more alert one of the two of them especially if it was late at night. He wouldn’t let anybody hurt his best girl not while he was around. 

G: How do they flirt? If she were to flirt it would probably be very sheepish compliments. The only person that she could ever flirt genuinely with was Angel though that might be all the couple pet names talking. 

H: What is their deadly sin? Her deadly sin would be gluttony. She has always had a really slim figure, something that her best friend has always been jealous of since her diet has a lot of sugary stuff involved. 

I: On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do they love themselves?  On a scale of one to ten Estelle probably loves herself at a three. She has a lot of self doubt that manifested itself into her being a shell of who she used to be. Being forced to have sex wasn’t something that she had ever been planning to do. It wasn’t until she saw Angel again and learned that he had to go through the same thing that it suddenly dawned on her. She’s not alone, she never really has been. She’s been immensely blessed to have the most amazing best friend in the entire world. He helps get her back on her feet and gain that confidence that he’s always seen in her. 

J: What’s their sense of humour like? Her sense of humor is rather wordy. She loves puns and making jokes about the wacky antics around her. She is also super sarcastic which is a side of her that really only Angel knows well.

K: How do you know when you’ve upset them? She shuts down, it’s hard to get a reaction of anything out of her. She’s broken up inside about a lot of things that have happened to her in her life that once Angel hugs her tightly to him and tells her that everything will be okay she believes him. He’ll always have her back. It's something that she has grown to love him like a brother for. 

L: What is their favourite board game? Her favorite board game is actually anything that she can play with cards. As kids one of the first things that her and Angel started to really get into was war and the stakes were salt water taffies in their favorite flavors (He would almost always win and split them with her anyways giving her tips on how to do better next time). 

M: What is their favourite dessert? This is the hardest question in the world but if she were to have a desert island dessert it would probably be struffoli. It’s donut holes dunked in honey and powdered sugar. Her family growing up was of Italian descent and when she met Angel she fully accepted that part of her life. 

N: What do they usually eat for breakfast? Usually it’s a freshly made something that she made that morning whether it be a bagel or a croissant and a cup of hot chocolate.

O: What would it take to break them, inside and out? For Angel to fully abandon her for the sake of Cherri. She has gotten used to having her around, in fact they are so different from each other that they are surprisingly close. 

P: How do they handle money? She handles money extremely well because she had to kickstart her own business because her parents wouldn’t help her out. 

Q: Are they patient? She has had to be the patient one between her and Angel for the entirety of their friendship. He is always the first to get irritated by what’s going on around him and she’s always had to be the one that pulled him back from doing something stupid. The one time she wasn’t there he overdosed and she hadn’t been able to see him in the hospital. 

R: What are their hands like? Her hands are small and usually covered with flour because it’s really hard to get her to take a break. 

S: How stealthy are they? She is not stealthy at all mostly because she’s almost always humming something under her breath. Cherri got her into 80’s music once she arrived in hell and everything changed for her after that.  

T: Where are they ticklish? She is immensely ticklish which is her curse once she arrives in hell and finds that Angel has become a spider with arms to torment her with. 

U: What’s their voice like? Her voice is usually quiet unless she gets really frustrated with something that isn’t turning out right in the oven. 

V: What’s the easiest way to annoy them? The easiest way to annoy her is to pinch her cheeks. They’ve always been huge and her best friends have never let her forget it. 

W: Can they dance? She can dance, she was amazing at the charleston but her dance skills are a little bit last century as Cherri loves to tease.

X: What’s their most petty little secret? Her most petty little secret was her initial jealousy of Cherri once she arrived in hell. Mostly because she was so much like Angel and thought that she wasn’t needed anymore. 

Y: What is one question they’ve always wanted an answer to? Why her husband wanted to be married to her when he could’ve had anybody that he wanted quite literally. 

Z: How do they sleep? She sleeps very rarely because she doesn’t technically need it but Angel always makes her sleep when he’s with her. She feels protected around him and trust me when I say that he isn’t letting anything get to her ever again. 

Do they sleep with a stuffed animal? She does sleep with stuffed animals once she arrives in hell and Angel saw that she didn’t have any here he got her some so that she could feel more comfortable.

Can they take care of a plant? What about a pet? What about a child? Once she arrives in hell she gets a cat companion the same day that Angel finds Fat Nuggets. 

Ask them to describe their love interest. Estelle doesn’t have a love interest. I decided to give her a found family love instead of having to force her into a romantic relationship because platonic love is just as important as romantic. 

Do they look good in red? She looks good in just about everything but she does have a flowy red top that Angel bought her that she loves

Speech! Speech! Speech! Speech! She would give a speech to Angel about how being broken in the same way doesn’t have to be a bad thing. They understand each other better than they ever could have when she was alive. 

Who will they take advice from, no matter what it is? Who won’t they take advice from, no matter what it is? She will always confide in her best friends first they get first priority. She will never take advice from her ex-husband or Valentino (he gets his ass kicked once she meets him) 

Describe them in three words. Now let them describe themselves in three words. I would describe her as immensely kind, snarky and a lover of everything that is her best friend’s. She would describe herself as a good listener, a bit broken but still beautiful and an amazing baker but that’s things that she starts to believe after reuniting with Angel. 

Do they empathize with non-sentient things (dolls, plants, books…)?  She empathizes with a lot of her books that she keeps in her at home library. 

What age do they most want to be right now? She mostly is happy with where she is, but she has her two best friends and who can complain about that legitimately? 

They’ve won the lottery. Spend, or save? Spend it on something for her friends there’s not even a second thought going through her head. Her second idea is to make improvements to her shop with what’s left over. 

Do they like romance in the books they read (or in the book they’re in)? She does love romance just not the one that she got. She can be found crying every time she watches Painted Veil and Angel just hands her a box of tissues. 

Name one thing their parents taught them. Her parents weren’t around for a good percentage of her life but they did teach her that hard work is extremely important a little bit too well considering that she rarely ever takes breaks.

Would they agree with the term ‘guilty pleasure’? They would agree with that term because she does love things that wouldn’t be loved by other people, mostly crappy B movies that she watches with Angel just to laugh at something. 

What would they consider a waste of time– other than school or work? To her lazy days are a waste of time but she grows to love them once she becomes friends with Angel. He shows her that taking time off from constantly trying to work herself to death. Taking days where you can do nothing but laugh and joke around it’s perfectly healthy. 

If money wasn’t a limit, what would they wear? They would probably own more cute dresses that expressed her femininity more. At the moment it’s a skirt over leggings with a cute hoodie. 

Do they like children? She does love children!! It’s just she doesn’t want to be in a relationship at the moment. 

Kissing: tongue or no tongue? At the moment she’s pretty kiss adverse except for the platonic cheek kisses that her and Angel have. 

Do they study before tests? Practice before job interviews? She was a practicer before job interviews when she was alive and she did always study before tests too because she could never be too careful. 

What do they like that nobody else does? Hmm there isn’t really anything that I could think of to answer this question. I think that between her, Angel and Cherri they have most everything in common. 

What would it take for them to break up with someone? What would be the last straw?  It would take a lot to eventually break up with somebody but as soon as they tried to force her into sex that was a big no-no for her. 

Do they like being called pet names? Do they call other people pet names? What’s their go-to? She does actually love pet names but mostly the platonic ones that her and Angie have. Sweetheart, hun, doll face, and eventually spider-babe and foxy.

Stability or novelty? Stability would be the way that would comfort her the most. 

Safety or possibility? She loves feeling safe and Angel makes her feel safer than most anybody out there. 

Talent or effort? Talent is the best way to go and she’s talented at a lot of things. 

Forgiveness or vengeance (or…)? Forgiveness she would forgive just about anybody except for her bastard of an ex-husband 

Would they date a fixer-upper? She would date a fixer-upper but she isn’t currently interested in seeing anybody. 

[tiffgeorgina]

fuck it black monday soulmate au

this one goes out to brit pricevore and that damn quote rt about hating soulmate aus. also to all the time i wasted in the shower last night thinking about this. brit if you’re reading this i have done my part. 

this fic is sponsored by the hyuna and LE collab that i cannot stop blasting. it’s called blacklist and it kind of invented music

-ok so im starting with mo and dawn because of fucking course i am

-mo spends like four years in prison starting from when he’s 20 or 21 or sum shit. around this time, dawn’s getting her MBA from northwestern. as soon as mo’s out of prison, jammer stakes the jammer group and hands majority ownership over to mo. alright so mo needs some employees he can’t do all this by himself. so he schedules an interview with dawn and meets her and realizes that this is His Soulmate. 

-im not really certain what the exact soulmate au would be for this because frankly i don’t care, i don’t want to get into that rn lol. but it’s something obvious and clear-cut, like seeing color for the first time when you make eye contact with your soulmate or smth. Actually i rly like that idea so im gonna roll with it. Fuck it you see color the first time the first time you touch your soulmate (i’ll get into the general implications of this some more later on, maybe after keith/mike’s part stay tuned xx) i love me some ambiguous soulmate aus but all the relationships in this show are ambiguous enough so i’ll pass in that regard this time. also in this universe, your soulmate isn’t necessarily regarded as your romantic partner for life. some conservatives/evangelists/fundamentalists/traditionalists will consider any marriage/sexual or romantic relationships with people other than your soulmate to be an abomination or w/e, and the 80s were pretty conservative, but they were also pretty weird, so a lot of people give zero fucks and will date/fuck/marry whoever. these people tend to regard soulmates as the most important person in your life, regardless of the nature of your relationship with them. some people’s soulmates are like a parent to them, and could never imagine being romantic/sexual with them. lots of people never meet their soulmates due to distance/death/etc. basically fate is not as all-knowing in this soulmate au as it is in some others. there is more to a long-lasting, successful romantic relationship than just love. back in the 40s or whatever, people would meet their soulmates and marry like two weeks later, never having had sex or a romantic relationship with anybody else, and then two days into the marriage they realize how devastatingly incompatible they are and the relationship crumbles under the strain of resentment and confusion within a year. people in the 80s have started to learn the lessons the people in the 40s never had time to figure out, so most people have some romantic/sexual experience before they meet their soulmate. besides, who wants to wait that long to have sex? not me tf

-ok back to the plot now that we got the background is down. mo and dawn meet and know they’re soulmates. so they get to know each other, but their main focus is work bc they’ve got a lot of work to do if they want to get anywhere. the company is young, dawn’s just out of school, and mo’s just out of prison. there’s a lot of ground to cover and they’re impatient asf to be rich and powerful. 

-the romance sort of happens naturally, given how much time they spend together, and they fall hard. they start dating, and when it’s great, it’s great. but when it’s bad, it’s fucking horrible. they’re both really underdeveloped as people (should i mention that they both literally just entered the workforce lol) and they just. can’t. get. along. 

-they hire some more people, like keith and yassir and wayne, and even they can tell that their relationship just sucks. they fight all the time over petty shit, and their fights always go way too far and never get properly resolved. sure, the sex is good and they want pretty similar futures (lots of money and no kids), but emotionally, in the short term, they are as incompatible as it gets. they have the same argument that they’ve had a gazillion times about promoting dawn to partner, but this time it goes a little too far. the things they say are a little too hurtful, and at this point, the relationship is a little too broken to salvage. they both know that when dawn storms out that night, it’s the last time. she moves out the next day.

-but she can’t really quit, can she? at this point she’s put in like three years of work at this place, and it’s moving up the ranks, and she’s head trader. she’s not taking a pay cut because she’s too immature to work with her ex-who-is-also-her-soulmate. so she sticks around. it’s a little awkward at first, but she and mo just come to an unspoken agreement that they’ll spend less time together and let themselves detach as much as possible, because at this point, a romantic relationship just seems so impossible, so why try? they can be each other’s most important person without being romantic partners, right? of course they can! Yeah, maybe they were just destined to be platonic soulmates. this will definitely work.

-so dawn meets this guy. his name is spencer. they hit it off right away too. of course, they’re much less compatible (in terms of long-term plans and all that, especially regarding having a family) than she and mo ever were, and the chemistry is nowhere near as electric, but at least they can have a conversation about something other than how much they hate the lehman brothers without screaming at each other. despite how much she knows she doesn’t love him like she still does used to love mo, she thinks she can live the rest of her life like this. they get engaged after dating for a year, and then married after a six month engagement period.

-mo stays single for about a decade or so. the most serious relationship he has isn’t even monogamous and it’s like, barely a year. he tells himself that he’s not looking for love, and he’s much happier to just sleep around and count his money and focus on that. everybody he ever talks to knows this is a bald-faced lie. they choose not to bring it up.

-(IM REALIZING HOW SIMILAR THIS IS TO THE CANON BACKSTORY/PLOT OF BLACK MONDAY IM SCREAMING SHGLKSDFHGLKSDRGHLS WHATEVER IM HAVING FUN) so mo and dawn are still working together and their relationship is... getting better. time heals all wounds right? well, not if you keep rubbing salt in the wound by literally working with your ex-who-is-also-your-soulmate and seeing them everyday. they know subconsciously that they could’ve been really fucking great, if only they hadn’t been such idiots in their 20s. but now that chance is gone, and they both just have to accept that. they still get into fights and shit, but it tends to be over much more superficial stuff. of course, people without fifteen years of history don’t get into screaming matches over tiny shit like they do. but that’s the territory of working with your ex-who-is-also-your-soulmate.

-so mo has this stupid fucking idea that he doesn’t even run by dawn before throwing $60 mil on it, because of course he does. so she has no choice but to go with it. they hire this kid, his name is blair, because they need him to pull this off. blair finds out that mo and dawn are soulmates who used to date but don’t anymore, and he’s really not even that surprised. of course, it’s weird to find out that your bosses whom you’re weirdly close to, who seem to hate each other, used to be in love and date and the whole nine yards and all that, but it makes a lot of sense.

-so they go off to the predator’s ball bc even rich people need money sometimes. you know that scene where they’re walking back to their rooms after that wild ass night, and mo’s like “you want to call it, or?” and dawn’s like “would if i could but im married” and then they get into a fight over collateral shares? fuck that scene entirely. let dawn find out about that 30% collateral shit like the next day or some shit idfc. instead, dawn’s just a smidge drunker than she was in canon, or maybe she was thinking more clearly than she has in a while, and she just fuckin goes for it. she kisses him, and of course he kisses her, and they... sleep in the same room that night. lmfao you know what i mean. and so starts this sort of friends/business-partners-with-benefits thing. 

-they are next level awkward when they get back to NYC, and blair and keith notice the fuck out of it. they aren’t exactly on speaking terms, so they don’t bring it up to each other, but fuck if they don’t bitch about to their respective soulmates (which i will get into)

-dawn feels soooo guilty it’s unreal. But she rationalizes the hell out of it. Her relationship with spencer has a textbook dead bedroom (which is actually sort of canon), and she signed up for monogamy, not celibacy. it’s not her first example of fucked up morals for sleeping with somebody other than her husband, anyways; there are worse things she can do (and has done) than cheat. It’s not fair that he gets to have all the sex he wants while she has to suffer in silence. So she keeps hooking up with mo even if it’s the worst thing she could do for her relationship with him (and her relationship with spencer, who doesn’t even know that she’s met her soulmate, let alone that her soulmate is her fuckin business partner [canon divergent, spencer does not find out about her and mo in 1x02])

-mo feels guilty in theory but really he’s just happy to be with dawn again in some way. They’re never in dawn’s apartment, so there’s no chance they can ever be caught ever. This is fine. They are fine.

-as one can expect, they are not fine and spencer notices dawn acting differently. Eventually she has a couple drinks one night and the guilt overwhelms her so she ends up coming clean. Safe to say she and spencer get that divorce.

-around this time, mo is telling blair about the georgina play, and blair is telling him to go fuck himself. Also around this time, tiff is getting kidnapped.

-dawn immediately suspects that mo did some stupid shit when she finds out mo told blair everything. So she goes to find him, only to find him at his lake house, spreading ashes. After he tells her he knows nothing of tiff’s kidnapping and he’s spreading the ashes of a friend, she relaxes and they spend the night together, just talking over all the shit they’ve been through. They don’t have sex that night, but they feel what they used to feel when they were together 15 years ago.

-in the middle of the night, blair calls dawn in a blind panic, talking about how tiff’s parents arranged her kidnapping for the press without telling her. Blair says, “Let’s you and me run the georgina play. That’s right, i know you knew, you’re too smart not to” and dawn says “no.” she doesn’t give excuses or anything, she puts her foot down because she will not let this kid she’s known for barely a year convince her to fuck up the most fulfilling relationship she’s ever had as soon as they get to a good place again. She tells him she’ll run the play with him, but it’s not gonna be against mo. either all three of them are fucked with mo and dawn $60 mil in the hole and blair out of a job, or all three of them can be filthy rich and successful. That’s the deal. Blair says he’ll call her back tomorrow.

-the next morning, mo and dawn are talking on the doorstep, and mo brings up the georgina play and how the kid fuckin hates him now, and there’s no chance of pulling off the play bc he quit. Dawn’s like “yeah, about that… we need to schedule a meeting with him” and mo’s like “what for?” and dawn’s like “i spoke to him last night, his fiancée’s kidnapping was a sham that her parents pulled off and he might be in the right headspace to fuck them over right around now” and mo’s like “holy shit you miracle worker” and they make out and when they walk back into the office, they’re hand in hand. 

-they call blair into the office and they basically just yell at each other for three hours. Keith, yassir, wayne, and ronnie do not know what is going on and frankly they are too afraid to ask. Eventually, they reach an agreement: blair will pull hand over 6% of georgina jeans in exchange for 20% of the jammer group, and another 25% to dawn (after they use blair’s algorithm to grab that last 30% from the lehmans). They shake on it, but none of them leave happy.

-blair’s not exactly happy to fuck over his parents-in-law, and mo isn’t happy to lose majority control of his own company. Dawn lucked out, gaining more power and losing little in the play, but her relationship with both of them is so on-the-rocks that she can’t imagine upholding a business partner relationship with them. This is gonna go so great after blair gets married in *checks watch* like two months.

-so blair gets married and the georgina play is a thing that happens (successfully might i add) and everything is kind of shitty because there are at least two relationships to repair here, and one that’s coming back from the dead. But little by little, they all get to a better place until they’re more or less back at where they were before mo told blair everything and they were all just friends except this time mo and dawn are dating xx

-WHEW and that is that on that. And by that on that i mean that on mo/dawn for this au. Dw im gonna get to blair/tiff and mike/keith and im super excited to write those too but i’ll make sure to put those in a separate post because i don’t think tumblr could handle a +7000 word post lmfao (since this post is nearly 2500 words jesus christ)

-i hoped y’all liked reading this as much as i loved writing it!! Again i love feedback and i read everything y’all say in the tags so please put stuff in the tags bc i love that shit!! Gn xx

[theajaheira]

2019 fic roundup

december was INSANE and i spent most of january dealing with the aftermath of Terrible Parents, but i am finally doing this! in nearly-february! good grief!

tagged by @catty-words​! always a delight, cori <3

Total 2019 Word Count: 541,906 Total 2019 Hits: 29,555 Other 2019 AO3 Stats: Kudos: 3,184; Comment threads: 787; Bookmarks: 509; Subscriptions: 223.

Total 2018 Word Count: 338,835 Total 2018 Hits: 22,374 Other 2018 AO3 Stats: Kudos: 2,192; Comment threads: 453; Bookmarks: 280; Subscriptions: 69.

links and titles to 2019 works (buckle up, folks.)

[btvs] imperfections (148,374 words) y’all know about the braveryverse already but i’ll bring up some good points: jenny and giles accidentally adopt the entire scooby gang. also faith gets some actual support and is actually eventually stable enough to date buffy. good times.

[btvs] deliberate obstruction (5,492 words) the one where jenny is petty as fuck and attempts to sabotage every single one of giles’s dates after their breakup. not her best look, but it was really fun to write jenny being Not Great. she deserves to have that option.

[btvs] arch-nemeses (2,171 words) who doesn’t love some of that good old-fashioned ripper au nonsense? particularly when it’s spike and ripper being confusing nemeses who sometimes drunkenly make out (jenny thinks this is very funny).

[btvs] sick day (3,097 words) written because someone should take care of giles, damnit! probably not jenny, tho. she’s not the best at it. lucky for her giles loves her so much.

[btvs] simpatico (10,096 words) sister fic to the grieving process! set circa btvs season six! jenny is connor’s awkward aunt! giles is a repressed disaster who’s still pining but refuses to admit it! 

[btvs] honesty’s the best policy (3,830 words) that one where giles and buffy are hit with a Truth Spell that means they say exactly what they’re thinking. is that all that bad for buffy? not too much. is it a little iffy when you’re a repressed watcher man who still haven’t told your girlfriend how much you love her? uh.

[btvs comics] i router, you giles (1,111 words) GOD this was written BEFORE i knew that giles and jenny were dating in the reboot comics and isn’t that a concept? a snarky-cute first meeting! ok not really that cute bc they just yell at each other a lot! but definitely snarky!

[btvs] transitional (3,152 words) good golly this is cute and i honestly forgot that i wrote it. which makes sense, bc there is a lot of stuff on this list. set in between season one and season two, in an attempt to bridge the giles/jenny gap between “awkwardly friendly coworkers” and “oh my god i think i like you”

[btvs] across the pond (5,323 words) FUN FACT this got nominated for a headline award and i’m SO PROUD OF THAT?! epistolary fic! giles leaves for england in s6 but without his wife! his wife is very mad and writes him VERY MANY LETTERS TO YELL AT HIM! perfect for those people who sometimes think “god, i wish jenny had been in s6 to yell at giles.” 

[btvs] very really married (66,987 words) giles and jenny got drunk-married in las vegas and are keeping the marriage going so they don’t look like terrible authority figures. giles does not want buffy to know about his fake wife. giles does not want his fake wife to know about his real slayer. giles has a lot of problems and it doesn’t help that he might be catching feelings. big mess.

[btvs] bad dreams (2,267 words) GILES/JENNY/ANYA IS BEST SHIP NEXT QUESTION

[btvs comics] an open mic enthusiast (2,250 words) yet another giles/jenny comic-reboot meet-cute written before i knew they were dating!!! this time: jenny gets to see giles playing guitar. repeatedly. because she keeps going back to watch him at the open mic.

[btvs comics] blindsided (2,024 words) my first (and definitely not last) giles/anya fic! a shorter version of a plot bunny i hope to chase down in 2020 (ahaha did i say that WHOOPS)

[btvs] uncharted (16,469 words) my jenny calendar day fic! also known as “jenny calendar has a guilt complex: a novella.” no prophecy dream outs jenny to the group -- but she tells them anyway. and blames herself. and breaks up with giles while she’s trying to Fix Things. absolute mess. (thank god there’s a happy ending, right?)

[btvs] on the mending of hearts (9,236 words) that giles/anya fic where giles shows up at anya’s failed wedding and sweeps her off her feet and they have sex in his hotel room! except uhhh there’s a lot more drama and crying and anya really just needs some cuddles, tbh.

[btvs] extracurricular activities (1,003 words) straight up this one BARELY counts as a 2019 fic. i wrote it back in 2016 and forgot about it and found it on my hard drive and wrote an ending to it. it’s tiny, but it’s cute! lots of early-relationship calendiles fluff, as is My Brand.

[btvs] cookie dough and boy talk (a remix) (3,976 words) dawn, but in the ripper au! she’s a precocious little bab and ripper babysits her and gets semi-adopted by joyce. it’s a thing.

[btvs] a history lesson (698 words) a brief ripper au interlude between jenny and dru. dru tries to point out that jenny and ripper are in love. jenny very unconvincingly denies it.

[btvs] faith, hope, and pancakes (3,236 words) ripper au, now with faith! and she gets to hang with college-age jenny! who is dating her idiot boyfriend ripper! the Most Fun of times.

[btvs] compromises (750 words) this....was supposed to be a three-sentence prompt but I Can’t Do That. giles and jenny discuss (read: jenny yells at giles about) giles attempting to attack angel on sight.

[btvs] valentine buzz (3,422 words) i wrote this in may lmao but i just REALLY WANTED to write fluffy braveryverse valentine’s day nonsense!!! lots of cuddles and kisses and softness abound in this fic.

[btvs] days in goodness spent (5,893 words) this fic's point was a little more abstract and a little less blunt than most of the rest of these, but i wanted to explore the concept of giles slowly going from idealizing jenny to genuinely loving her. i hope i did it justice.

[btvs] to have and to hold (7,861 words) giles and jenny get married in the braveryverse. that’s really all there is. also i posted this on my birthday (may 23rd) AND it is the 23rd fic on this list!!!! WILD!!!!!)

[btvs] saw her in the streetlight, making all the world bright (5,738 words) took me like a year and a half to write the first fic in the ripper au, lmao. in which jenny is a snarky eighteen-year-old, ripper is a snarky college dropout in a band, and neither of them are at ALL good at communicating. especially not ripper.

[btvs] perfect (1,465 words) ripper au: it’s revealed that jenny hasn’t had sex before. ripper handles this with his characteristic maturity and grace (just kidding lmao he FREAKS. but it’s bc he loves her.)

[btvs] respite (1,106 words) i wrote this after issue 5 of the reboot dropped bc i was very emotional about canon power couple giles and jenny. in retrospect, i gave giles’s emotional maturity WAY too much credit--esp. given what’s going on now--but it was still fun as heck to write.

[btvs] shouldn’t we be getting together (3,193 words) this fic’s existence is a combo of me reading a summer camp ya novel and liking the Aesthetic but not the Culture & me talking endlessly w/ @jackalopingintothevoid​ about ripper and jenny’s teenage dynamic. so many of these fics have her galaxy brain takes woven in and i KNOW she knows that. lov u, jack.

[btvs] fragmented (6,158 words) written because of that one time my brain was like “but what if jenny WAS haunting the school?” happy ending because it’s me and g/j deserve some kisses.

[btvs/hp crossover] buffy summers, muggle-born (22,070 words) i CAME BACK TO THIS in 2019 and wrote a few chapters and DROPPED IT LIKE A HOT POTATO. hopefully 2020 will bring me the courage to pick it up again!!!!!! who DOESN’T want a carelessly-mashed-together crossover where the scoobies and the golden trio are all going to hogwarts together for some reason????

[btvs] in bloom (8,452 words) this was SUPPOSED to be the end of the jenny-anya-tara trilogy. it was not. (more on that later.) this was also supposed to be a fic where giles and jenny get together. jenny and anya got together. writing things is wild sometimes.

[btvs] i still want to be your girl (35,165 words) straight up i am so proud of this fic! s7 au: jenny was chased out of town by angelus. giles does not know this. jenny has been working with angel in la, but left with faith to try and help defeat the first. giles is not the guy she remembers. (but jenny’s not exactly the lady giles remembers, either. so maybe things might work out.)

[btvs/leverage crossover] what’s in a name (4,421 words) sophie’s & jenny’s relationship to their names & identities always so totally fascinated me! this fic was my way of exploring that. (also i got to give giles and jenny a toddler. that was fun too.)

[btvs comics] live a little (6,700 words) i had so much fun coming up with a backstory for giles and jenny in the comics that i am kinda tempted to eventually try and do it again. this one was fun to write, tho.

[btvs] kind of like hydrogen peroxide (7,501 words) THIS was FUN. ripper au, but it explores both jenny’s longing for High School Normalcy AND ripper’s fucked-up relationship to magic. also senior prom is a thing.

[btvs] mending fences (6,093 words) sequel to the aforementioned epistolary fic! lots of first-person self-loathing from giles, but also a LOT of love for jenny and his kids. also the man really truly needs to stop repressing.

[btvs] her father’s daughter (1,982 words) 2020 will bring us another chapter of this fic i swear to GOD. literally there’s only one chapter up so i cannot even TALK about my plans for it but uhhh if you want giles and jenny and their three daughters pls feel free to go to that prologue and check it out.

[btvs] a thousand different ways we fell apart (4,888 words) the au fic to encompass all au fics! inspired by the comic reboot and me being like. christ. do they go through this ridiculous shit in EVERY universe? ....and then i wrote a fic where jenny was a space traveler looking through multiple universe to try and fix her marriage with giles. extra fun.

[btvs] no such roses (4,814 words) this one turned out a TINY bit rushed, but the concept of jenny bringing giles back from the dead is always something that i love exploring. i might come back and rewrite this, someday.

[btvs comics] no perfect choice (4,801 words) OOF. wrote this one after issue 8 dropped. a lot softer and more tender than what actually happened, tbh. maybe i will reread it again to make myself feel better about comic calendiles and their brutal split.

[btvs] family (3,545 words) wrote this one p early in the year and came up with an ending to it much later! ripper au: the story of how xander came to live with giles and leave his parents. angst-with-a-happy-ending abounds.

[btvs] a california january (2,206 words) jenny and giles attend a funeral together. that’s pretty much it. this is defs one of the best things i wrote this year, tho.

[btvs] how i survived my summer vacation (volume two) (25,027 words) swear to god this is gonna be the next thing i update. the braveryverse NEEDS to continue. it’s got married calendiles, for god’s sake.

[btvs] clear and impartial judgment (3,977 words) that fic i wrote when i got mad at a lack of resolution wrt helpless. like!!! giles drugged buffy!!! do we not get to talk about the psychological ramifications that would have on her???? (well. canon doesn’t. but i do.)

[btvs] sunshine ladies (10,188 words) THIS FIC WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN and i say that with incandescent love in my heart. i intended for the ‘verse to be giles/jenny, and then i intended it to be jenny/anya, and then i was like....jenny has two goddamn hands, and there’s foreshadowing here for endgame giles/jenny, and i wanna write some giles/anya. let’s fuckin go. (DEFINITELY writing another installment in 2020 about this iconic ot3 of mine.) 

[btvs] spirit-touched (4,769 words) the first smut i write and it’s calendiles ghost sex. i really think this is on brand for me, esp. considering that swath of asks in 2016ish where everyone wanted to know if ghosts could jack off. incredible.

[btvs] dear friend (28,865 words) this fic had such a rushed ending :( it’s a cute premise (you’ve got mail giles/jenny au!!!!!), but i lost interest halfway through, and as a writer i can rlly see that when i read it. another thing i might like to go back and rewrite at some point, tbh!

[btvs] familiar (2,034 words) AUGH i am SO proud of this fic. SO SO PROUD. it’s a concept i really can’t explain and the little twist at the end is something i really really like, so...just read it.

[miss fisher’s murder mysteries] unbearable (5,670 words) i need to write more mfmm in 2020 but the amount of good fic out there is deeply intimidating/delightful. this one was my little “what if it was phryne who thought jack was dead” and tbqh i had a lot of fun with it? bc pining phryne (who makes brief but extremely poignant appearances throughout the series) is an awkwardly, heart-meltingly sincere lady.

[ace attorney] man’s duty to society (544 words) wrote this as my first foray into aa fic while getting emo about miles edgeworth. would absolutely still die for that man.

[ace attorney] fancy running into you (5,887 words) lots of schmoopy narumitsu fluff! gregory edgeworth is alive! miles is trauma-free! phoenix is an artist! just!!! goodness!!!!!!!

[ace attorney] big sister (2,741 words) set in the same gregory-edgeworth-is-alive ‘verse: babey franziska comes to live with miles and his dad. she is a little impossible but miles kinda does love her.

[ace attorney] prince charming edgeworth and his incredible tux (8,042 words) this fic came from me being like “i want to write phoenix swooning over miles in a tuxedo and being like HE LOOKS LIKE A DISNEY PRINCE” and spiraled into something much longer!

[ace attorney] fate, choice, and everything in between (4,384 words) SOULMATE AU. nothing i love more than deconstructing soulmate aus. but like. in a romantic way. also phoenix and miles ARE soulmates and that is JUST facts.

Favorite Fic: I WROTE SO MUCH STUFF THO LIKE !?!??! how can one expect me to distill it to just one fic? i’ll make it my top threeL

a california january (I AM SO PROUD OF THIS FIC. it is soft and angsty and silly and devastating and tender. all the calendiles feels.)

i still want to be your girl (same mood!!! i’ve wanted to write this fic for literal years, and it’s one of those rare occasions where the picture in my head actually turned out BETTER when written out!)

sunshine ladies (this is like my giles/jenny/anya ship manifesto and it still makes me happy to think about them all co-running the magic box together and smooching a lot.)

Hardest Fic: OOF uh i went through a rocky period of writing when transitioning into college? no such roses and dear friend were hit the hardest by my insecurity & my desire to Finish Things rather than actually spend time on the craft. but i’m much more settled in now and my writing is DEFINITELY in an upward swing (as my newest fic -- as day follows night -- attests to quite nicely, imo)

Do You Plan to Take Prompts in 2020? always always yes! (i’m bad at following through with them, but am ALWAYS accepting them.)

What was the best thing about 2019? there were almost too many good things to COUNT, but i think all of them were made possible by me working extremely hard to get myself the FUCK out of my abusive parents’ house and into my first choice college!! i’m thriving, y’all.

What was the worst thing about 2019? realizing that both of my parents are fundamentally terrible people. that part kinda sucked.

Any last thoughts for 2019? i finally understand what it’s like to fall asleep feeling safe, and to notice the way the leaves change color, and to get excited about self-indulgent things like food and cuddly stuffed animals and my own fic and art. 2019 brought a lot of happiness into my life, and oh yeah also i’m in love! lots of cool stuff going on.

Goals for 2020

finish the latest braveryverse installment!

MORE ART JUST IN GENERAL. i love drawing, but there’s not a lot of free time for artsy celia when they prioritize writing so often!

write one of the many incredible longfic ideas that’s floating around in my head. it’s honestly probably only like two or three big ones, but at least DECIDE which one i’m gonna focus my energy on.

more giles/anya this year!

more giles/jenny/anya this year!

diversify! still gonna be writing about jenny forever, but like. it might be fun to write about a few new things here and there.

maybe some more ace attorney fic? maybe even some mfmm fic again? phryne and jack are never far from my heart.

not tagging anyone bc this is....january. but if you wanna do it, feel free!

[bthump]

watching jojo's bizarre adventure anime adaptation and seeing how much the anime team fixed araki (the mangaka)'s bad writing makes me rlly wish that if berserk gets a proper anime adaptation whoever does it will do the same with miura's writing (and some of his art too tbh). like for example for all their faults the berserk movies did improve casca's character. what are your wants for a potential full berserk anime adaptation? (also let's hope that this is the year we finally get one 🤞)

I never finished JJBA or watched the anime so idk, but I’m curious how much they changed. Like were there big changes to the plot, or was it mostly just little minor changes to smooth over some flaws?

ty for asking, and I apologize in advance for how long this got lol.

tbh I think my ideal, if not realistic, Berserk adaptation is one that just goes ‘fuck it’ and throws out most of the story lol. Starts with Black Swordsman, ends with Femto lowering his hand and letting Guts escape - well more specifically, on this panel:

Like that is a perfect final shot imho.

(Also I might mirror it with the opening shot. Like I wouldn’t open on Guts fucking an apostle lmao, I don’t actually dislike that opening but it doesn’t fit this theoretical adaption. So how about we open on a long shot of Black Swordsman Guts surrounded by the ghosts he’s fighting, that mimics this?)

Ooh I might also… I might stick the Lost Children arc in between Snake Man and Count Slug. Ugggh there are some logistical issues to untangle there, but I really, really want Jill/Rosine Guts/Griffith parallels, and I want ghosts taunting Guts about becoming a monster like his friend. Subtlety is for cowards. Oh except we wouldn’t’ve seen Femto yet so that wouldn’t work. Well, “like him” then instead of “like your friend.” There now it’s foreshadowing 2 ways.

the climax of the story is the moment of sacrifice because there’s no Eclipse rape, Casca dies shortly after Judeau, and Guts’ horror at being sacrificed by Griffith is the emotional low point. Potentially no gtsca either if I can figure out a way to incorporate Guts’ stupid dream speech somewhere else. Maybe it can be a flashback during the Wyald fight, which I’d keep incidentally, sans attempted rape, w/ Guts talking to Erica. Actually yeah that would be perfect and immediately tie Guts’ “dream” of fighting stronger and stronger enemies with fighting monsters lol, meaning I could bypass Guts’ post Eclipse war declaration that draws that comparison more explicitly.

Boom, Berserk is now a nice little self-contained tragic story about two dudes each becoming solitary monsters because they abandoned each other for abstract dreams, and threw aside the potential for true emotional healing (relationships) for shallow coping mechanisms (swords/dreams). Uhhh, also Puck is cut. Sorry Puck, ilu but you’re a ray of hope that ruins the vibe here.

And finally since this is my ideal adaptation, the subtext between Guts and Griffith is text. They don’t actually fuck or kiss, because that would avert the Eclipse, but… hm how do you make it clear that they want to fuck but are too repressed to do it and that’s what ruins everything? Okay well Griffith’s torture chamber monologue includes “love” a la the anime dub, and maybe “desire” or “need” to completely remove that ambiguity desperately maintained in the minds of straight people. And Guts… I don’t know that I can go textual lol. The only point in the story he can possibly recognize his own feelings is chapter 71.

Ooh I got it. Just include “at that time he shone before me as something beautiful, noble, and larger than life” after the Count’s backstory lmao. Do you really need more? Well, maybe “he shone before me as something larger than life - noble, and… beautiful.” Or just cut to the chase completely: “At that time, he shone before me as something beautiful, noble, and larger-than-life. I loved him.”

OKAY all that said I feel like this wasn’t really what you’re asking lol since you mentioned a complete adaption. So okay assuming there are no huge major changes to the content or structure of the story, here’s a (stupidly long, like only read this if you for some reason enjoy seeing me ramble for days about minute details lmao) list of some more minor things I’d want to change:

I’d start with the Black Swordsman arc and continue as the manga goes. Yes, in this one Guts still fucks an apostle. This is right before the credits, and it’s depicted as badass and cool. In fact, I might actually split the scene with the credits - start the opening sequence right after Guts blows her up, and resume on this shot with more of a sombre tone:

Like okay that would be pretty cheesy lol, but this is the Black Swordsman arc. It’s supposed to be a little campy, and really unsubtle, and this seems like a fun way of highlighting this little tonal shift.

Relatedly, I would not acknowledge the fact that most people watching already know where it’s going. I would maintain the integrity of the first arc in starting off with Guts as an apparent cool badass and then tearing that down, as well as keeping Griffith’s identity and Guts’ motivation a mystery in theory, and making the Count’s backstory the climax of this arc in a revelatory sense, rather than in an action sense.

To get more general, no fanservice for straight dudes. no one’s tits are randomly out, and when they are they’re drawn realistically and subject to the laws of gravity. casca’s clothes don’t get torn all the time, rosine’s got full moth fuzz coverage, farnese is wearing a shirt when guts takes her hostage and if we need self-flagellation (and tbh I wouldn’t necessarily cut it) it can be in a flashback, etc. Oh except Slan I guess. Her whole character is fanservice so w/e I’ll allow it.

not every woman is in love with and solely motivated by a dude. skip the queen’s completely unnecessary reveal that she was in love with julius, skip casca’s “I lived my life with the intent of sacrificing myself on my unrequited feelings for griffith” bullshit, skip sonia’s crush on neogriffith, skip tf out of schierke’s crush on guts, skip the random period of incest-y bdsm-y vibes in Farnese and Serpico’s backstory that adds nothing lol, skip the suggestions that Farnese is jealous of Casca’s history with Guts, etc

also most sexual assault scenes are cut. Casca is running for her life during the 100 man fight, not from attempted rapists. Wyald does not assault Casca, Farnese is not almost raped by a fucking horse, we chill out a bit on the sexual torture in every bg scene during the conviction arc jfc, Casca’s multiple assaults during that arc are cut, troll rape is cut, you get the point.

I’ll keep Adon’s shitty threats tho bc i feel like some violent misogyny is necessary if i’m not changing everything, but I’d completely lose the comic relief vibe he gets and make Casca’s fight with him properly epic and satisfying. The movie did this a bit better imo, but I’d really remove Adon’s whole boastful loser schtick. That might disappoint some fans, but idc Casca deserves to kill someone who is actually kind of a badass.

There’s a lot of bullshit around gtsca that I’m torn between wanting to cut, and instead wanting to just depict very negatively. Like would it be better if instead of Casca shyly asking Guts how she looks in a dress she just complained about the dress being uncomfortable, ie we completely cut that burgeoning “soft side” bs?

Or would it be better if she still asked him how she looks, then we call back to that moment when she gets awkward about her scars before sex, we keep Judeau musing on how she’s showing a soft side, we call back to that when he tells Guts to save her from leadership, we tie it all together when Guts asks Casca to leave with him, and bring it home by making it abundantly clear that Casca moving from being Griffith’s sword to Guts’ sword is not a positive change.

Like highlight everything negative about it - Guts being a huge dick, the ominous undertone when he invites her along (like cue the creepy cello music when they kiss right before we shift to monsters and behelits lol), all the parallels between him and Griffith wrt their dreams, Guts telling Casca to fuck off while he fights Wyald, maybe even add a moment where Casca actually reflects on how she’s left out of all the dream/equals bullshit and what that says about their priorities and how they see her. Might be a nice lead up to her telling Guts to leave to pursue his dream and be Griffith’s equal.

also maybe show that judeau is wrong about casca being better off away from the hawks? ugh there’s so much that would have to be reworked with her narrative. like if she still has to attempt suicide, again can we ditch the lead up about how it’s because she has an unrequited crush on griffith and just keep it about the fact that she hasn’t slept in a week and she’s on the run and her hawks keep dying and griffith is being tortured and she just stabbed guts and she’s had a very difficult year?

and like, maybe she leapt to accept Guts’ ‘come with me’ offer because she’s exhausted and emotionally overwhelmed, but are you kidding me? While Guts gets an entire narrative arc about abandoning his found family, Casca doesn’t even think about it for a moment before agreeing to ditch them? Can we maybe have some indication about how she feels about the Hawks as a family, maybe some reflection about why she would choose to leave, maybe some second thoughts about it after the Wyald fight when it becomes abundantly clear what her role would be while Guts pursues his dream, like god she’s such a pawn of the narrative, I hate it. Give her some real reasons for doing stuff!

ANYWAY moving on

like the movie, I’d give charlotte more agency in the sex scene w/ griffith, I liked her asking him to stay and moving his hand to her tit herself. I probably would not actually make griffith so out of it though - i enjoyed that in the movie but I don’t necessarily consider it in-character. The way he went from literally crying in the rain to smiling and making charming jokes as soon as Charlotte opened the window in the manga honestly makes perfect sense to me lol. Just uh, make Charlotte into it from the start because there’s zero reason for her not to be other than bad misogynistic cliches?

Also I feel like there’s a balance to be struck between depicting het sex as dude sticks his dick in, woman somehow has a good time a la the manga vs making guts and griffith competent at foreplay and oral a la the movies lol. Like maybe depict the sex scenes as the bad sex they are but Charlotte still feels closer to Griffith afterwards despite not coming from a dude fucking her while thinking about another dude and like, just keep Casca telling Guts he was obviously a virgin afterwards lol.

I guess we’re stuck with the Eclipse rape, but it happens mostly off screen and in close, telling but non-explicit details, like yk, big clawed hand holding a wrist, Casca’s eyes squeezed shut, Femto’s hand on the small of her back (I’m thinking a reversed call back to the wagon scene w/ that to suggest Femto’s motivation being a show of power tbqh). Some would be from Casca’s pov, with maybe one brief moment from Guts’ pov as he loses an eye or something. Keep the movie’s visual reference to Griffith saving her. No pornographic angles. No apostle rape prelude to it. Casca doesn’t have an orgasm. Femto doesn’t stare at Guts. It’s not about Guts at all for either of them, it’s about Femto taking Griffith’s fucked up relationship to sex and expressing it monstrously, and it’s about Casca being betrayed and symbolically negating the agency she fought for since Griffith threw her a sword. Guts’ reaction is horror and fear, not manly heroic outrage. He might still rip off his arm to attack Femto, but that would be because that’s always his reaction to whatever scares him, not for Casca’s sake. Might have to contextualize that with flashbacks to his childhood, or at the very least strong visual parallels to both his childhood and the Zodd + Wyald fights.

I want to cut the fetus, replace it with like a cronenburg-y fucked up dog-like demon in the Black Swordsman arc - not as a literal version of the Beast of Darkness, but just as a metaphor for how Guts’ inner darkness is twisting him into a pathetic asshole lol. But tbh cutting the fetus is a logistical nightmare because Casca needs magic protection during the Conviction arc. So idk. But NGriff doesn’t need it, and his narrative would be more engaging without that scapegoat. Fuck emotional ambiguity, I just want to drop the news that NGriff has feelings, and then not change anything else about his narrative. The themes of isolation and loneliness threaded throughout would just shine through lol it would be great.

I would emphasize the shit out of the Beast of Darkness/Femto parallels. Yeah Guts would still assault Casca in my adaption too. If the Eclipse rape happens, that has to happen because the point is that Guts’ inner darkness is the same. But like, I’d cut the page where beast of darkness guts bites her head off while raping her. Also I’d keep the visual parallel to the Eclipse rape (the v similarly depicted kisses) and add another from Casca’s point of view, or have her flashback then instead of just staying in Guts’ head.

as for the fallout, I’d give Guts a proper scene where he sees himself as a monster, like damn he got more of a self-reflective and telling reaction that time he accidentally killed a random kid, we should get something when he sexually assaults Casca. but overall I’d focus way more on Casca being afraid of him now rather than his mopey guilt. I would also… I mean god this should be addressed in the fact that Guts fucking wears the Berserk armour all the time lol. Like one second he’s all, “omg Flora can put a magic seal on my brand that’ll depower my magical evil jiminy cricket wolf and hopefully prevent me from raping and murdering Casca, that’s great!” and the next second he’s all, “omg magic armour I can wear that will enable me to kill everything with the side effect of superpowering my inner evil wolf and turning on my companions? sign me the fuck up I’m sure nothing bad could possibly happen with that.”

Like what I’m saying is I’d either make Guts a lot more reluctant to use the armour and take Skull Knight’s warnings seriously and genuinely reflect on the fact that mysterious magical children have to prevent him from murdering his friends over and over again, or I’d draw attention to this idiocy and fully commit to Guts as a dumbass hypocrite blithely walking down the path to more tragedy of his own making. and probably the latter based on where the story is likely to be headed lol.

in the lost children arc, I’d give Rosine’s mother more of a role as a good parent who Rosine has a loving relationship with, who tried and failed to stop her father’s abuse or something, because honestly I love the Peekaf story and I find Rosine’s regret at the end as she tries to fly home v powerful, but I hate the idea that she regrets sacrificing her abusive father so maybe this way I can split the difference.

and Jill’s ending where she goes home to endure abuse would be depicted much more darkly.

like straight up I’d depict Jill flying with Rosine as a truly beautiful moment, I would show that Jill has the potential to fulfill Rosine in a way her neverland kidnapping bullshit can’t and that yes, if Jill stayed with Rosine everything might actually work out and with Jill’s influence the whole land of the elves thing could be reworked into less of a nightmare and more of a haven lol. And Guts would absolutely be depicted as fully monstrous in comparison, ruining both these kids’ lives. Like, no ambiguity, no suggestion that Jill learned an important lesson about living with abuse lmao, no implication that Rosine brought her tragic end on herself by not being a good enough child abuse victim, just Guts sowing tragedy wherever he goes.

I have no idea how to deal with the conviction arc in general lol, specifically the ultra cynical tone the actual narrative seems to take. Like, the Black Swordsman arc was idealistic compared to the Conviction arc, they clash badly imo. Extremely badly. Like it’s a giant mess. It’s like

Black Swordsman Guts: fuck everyone who dies because they weren’t strong enough to deal with my existence. *turns and wipes away a tear* *lets a zombie kid stab him* *evokes pity from puck*Conviction Guts: fuck everyone who dies because they weren’t strong enough to deal with my existence. *poses with his sword in one hand and the rescued love interest in the other* *the crowd cheers* *luca nods sagely*

yk it’s just… awkward. It’s hard to mitigate through like, film choices yk, because a lot of it is due to the circumstances. Guts telling Puck innocent people are just ants under his feet is much different than Guts refusing to let the big bad kill Casca by telling him that tens of thousands of people can and should die because they pray too much lmao, no matter what music plays in the background. Guts’ attitude is the same, the narrative’s attitude is contradictory.

Maybe I could make Guts less of a dick and cut a lot of those cynical moments? Not really call attention to the fact that Guts is effectively sacrificing tens of thousands of refugees for Casca, or more accurately, for his own desire to feel like a hero since he isn’t even the one who saves Casca, he got distracted trying to fight the fake Godhand.

Or lol maybe I’ll just have Isidro point that out in like, a smug way. Maybe I’ll have NeoGriffith personally thank him for his contribution to his resurrection. I mean I really want to call this questionable shit into question, yk? Not to declare Guts wrong for wanting to save Casca, but to declare his cavalier idgaf attitude a big problem that has consequences. Which would actually tie in nicely with emphasizing Guts’ dumbassery in brushing off Skull Knight’s warnings about the armour and insisting it’s nbd. lol I really hope this is what Miura’s going for, just more subtlely.

Actually I wonder if I could get away with cutting Isidro out entirely. Anyone could’ve saved Casca there.

Oh I’d cut the hell out of a lot of Guts’ fight scenes in the MF arc, and if I could possibly get away with it I’d cut out everything on the beach after Skull Knight’s ominous warning. Like this might end up being the Griffith show for a while because Guts’ half is a fucking slog. And of course I’d cut the entire boat trip. They get on a boat, they get off a boat, the end.

Okay I need to stop somewhere. I’m ignoring a lot of later stuff because it’s so dependent on where the story’s going now that Casca is awake etc. Like eg the Moonlight Boy. Can I cut him? Give him a more ominous tone? Emphasize the saccharine tone he evokes for the sake of pulling the rug out from under the audience later? Will I be forced to make huge changes anyway because I can’t stand where the story ended up going? Idk it depends.

If I could tho I’d definitely cut Magnifico, Isidro, Ivalera, mermaid… like Farnese, Serpico, and Schierke are the only characters on Guts’ side who contribute to the story in a meaningful way. And without Isidro Puck could again too.

Oooh yk one thing that might be nice would be framing Farnese as the main protagonist of Guts’ half of the story during the MF arc. Just focus on her, show more stuff from her perspective, cut down a lot of fights but keep her digression back home, maybe give her some additional content that explores her character shift better, show her struggling more with her own inner darkness a bit when she first joins and give her some character beats as she slowly grows more comfortable with Casca, maybe put her backstory chapters in the first episode of a new season (a great season ender would be Guts walking away from the Hill of Swords js), etc.

lmao god I feel like I could keep going forever. sorry this is so meandering but ty for giving me the opportunity to go on and on about this. Is there anything you’d really like to change yourself?

[boglog]

HoC Onion !

[TW mention of sexual abuse/violence]

I’m foregoing the pros/cons format here but generally-speaking my negative points are still gathered at the top w the highlights near the end.

Obviously, between letting a sex offender have a platform in mass media and potholes, I’d choose the latter. My below crits absolutely are not a demand for Spacey to be brought back and he can die in a fire for all i care. I just wish his character’s absence was not the nº1 reason for this season not making any sense

as far as i can gather, this season’s primary arc is as much about Frank’s death (in lieu of Doug’s) as it is Claire’s emotional and political divorce from Frank while she undergoes your traditional postbreakup analysis of who she was pre Frank and post Frank and were Frank actually there this idea might have legs

...but instead we have Doug ://

the level of intensity that the plot demands cannot be carried by forcing Doug into being a deeper character than he was intended, all the way until the end, he truly just reads as either a pitiful sadist or a henchman. It’s disharmonious and dangerously close to bad. 

Frances Underwood makes more sense if Frank dies in episode 8!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She’s literally going to be his reincarnation!!!!!!!

literally...who cares if Doug gets stabbed by Frank’s letter opener? whomst?

Doug can’t be Frank’s proxy, but sans a certain pedoph*le, the plot will just have to suffer. 

Other side effects of Doug’s undeserved promotion include but are not limited to: 

forcing Doug to share the role of antagonist with the Shepards, yet another New Villain © that feels totally unnecessary and confusing (the Conways at least got two seasons)

Frank’s diary feels forced and out of character for someone decidedly so unsentimental  

How does Claire have a bun in the oven when she clearly didnt sleep with Frank for all of season 5 and locked herself in her room while he was being assassinated? How is a Dramatic paternity test not going to be insisted upon in the show’s universe?

fixation on Frank’s will as a McGuffin is really... I don't know boring considering no one cares for the guy? What property of his does claire stand to lose? I’m sure the rich people fandom can speculate but i honestly needed this manifested in the show via some examples instead of the grand abstraction that is The Will bc losing Frank’s assets would set Claire back but it would not directly threaten her presidency. Not to mention that i’m not entirely sure Frank’d have Doug of all people as his sole heir if it didn't serve as revenge against Claire, which just lowers Doug’s importantance even more

Frank never cared for Doug, a largely unlikeable character, which we already knew from the beginning, so Doug’s entire arc is pathetic at best as well as his tangential inclusion in the Cliare v Frank arc

My major problems with Doug’s character began as early as season 4. 

Did not understand why they didn't actually have Doug switch sides by joining the Dunbar campaign in earnest in season 4. Like... it’s such an obvious opportunity to Thicken The Plot © that it’s reached this gif levels of dropping the ball:

P much everything about Doug’s character since then is just so.... lacking, while for the last few seasons they give him depth when he magically has empathy for one (1) woman before she dies (possibly as a direct result of his actions). This entire plot about him evaluating why he was so loyal to Frank could've been unpacked whilst he avoids Dunbar finding out about the murders he did commit. I’d rather him having agency than be a flat, troubled underling.

Aright I'm going to stop complaining about Doug. In season 3 and 4, his insecurity over being replaced and his sacrifices for Frank (and subsequent guilt) came close to giving us a real Moment with him as we delve more into how colourless his life outside of work really is. But beyond that, when his character started getting repetitive, there’s very little to compensate for his alternating acts of extreme narcissism/violence versus his childish confusion / self pity when he doesn’t get what he wants.

Anyways I'm basically at a point where I’d be okay if Frank’s long-lost cousin replaced Doug replacing Frank 

I’m appreciating the writers’ distinct refrain from plot formats and that the seasons progressively move towards the Underwoods but what if just for circularity and added balance we return to having a full-on reporter B plot in s6? More emphasis on Janine and Tom’s sleuthing, culminating in Tom’s assassination and Janine publishing the tell-all expose against Frank---including a reference to Zoe---that becomes the magnum opus of her career (and Claire using that against Frank). I just think the season needed more balance that Doug, the Shepards and Tom were not offering 

The Shepards and Tom, meanwhile, are decidedly banal. First of all, I had a hard time even telling Bill and Tom apart esp given that they were introduced one after the other. All white guys are the same.

Bill just kind of sits around until he has a platform to reference his favourite action movies doesn't he?

Moreover what does Tom do!? he doesn't want power, he doesnt seem to want anything. He’s just kind of there?

Unlike the Conways, the Shepards don’t have a clear goal and are not often in direct conflict with Claire the way Frank and Conway were. They want to control the presidency for money and Claire is always bouncing back from reliving her girlhood to political rivalry w Anette, yes, but what does that mean? What are the consequences? The logistics are so indirect and complicated, what precisely does Anette want? And why does anyone care? The Shepards are extremely boring.

Frank’s asides were purple and long af so I appreciate Claire’s succinct style not to mention her fantastic screen presence. I’m left to wonder, though, if maybe hers and every other aside in HoC is a little too on the nose. Like, they didn't hafta spell it out that the bird in the wall was a representation of Frank’s shadow trapping her, I think we got that 

The artistic intercuts to Claire’s troubled childhood wherein a group of bullies coerce her into stripping naked through the forest, while visually stunning and clever for its self-explanatory nature, feel really passive. They don't visually show us any reason for her not to resist, the bullies even let her keep her clothes after cutting them off her so we’re left to wonder why she does nothing....

Claire was raised to be ~proper~ so her resistance (likely) comes in the form of biting, passive-aggressive poise which is hard to get across in a silent montage but it just feels.. weird

Frances Underwood is going to have a very sad childhood

nearly all the Claire flashbacks are cinematic masterpieces and as much i think Claire’s backstory deserves more attention, i also appreciate the minimalism and the choice humanising moments of her adolescence 

listen I'm sure we all agree Robin Wright is peak acting but the actor for young Claire, who has the arguably harder task of copying Wright is fantastic 

Of all the characters who crop up every season seemingly out of nowhere only to disappear once more once when the plot the Underwoods are done with them, Jane is one of my favourites and possibly one of the greyest characters alive. Smart, mysterious, worldly, a bit of a hippie despite her job, severe despite her sense of humour. Really loves her extremely pedestrian surname. We stan.

Secondary characters rarely get anything close to a backstory on this show, esp ones that were introduced so late. Still, her motivations seem more complicated then others (i.e. betraying Cathy, one of two people she cares about) and I wonder if they deserve a bit more of an explanation. Especially seeing as she has a relationship with every major character.

If anyone deserves a spin-off it might be Jane and her name-dropping career/social life

Cathy faking her own death with a terrible french accent? On stan !!!

Seth teasing Doug even while he’s completely undervalued by everyone around him is a power move

Impressed that they managed three characters named Tom, their distinctly different appearances and the fact that they're almost never in the same POV shots works to separate them.

Claire using the word “female” even facetiously is cringe

Whenever they use the cinema room, the movie they watch is always symbolic. Before the 2017 election, Frank and Claire imitate the characters in Double Indemnity, and this season a pregnant claire watches Rosemary’s Baby. Clever.

i liked the whitehouse tour guide’s inclusion and the cameo from _____ though this season was especially white without their usual token secondary character

So overall i liked season 6 as an exploration of Claire’s character even while it did v little justice to most of the other characters and unfortunately spacey’s absence did affect the storyline

and finally: that cinnamontography !

Not that the series should be pushed past its prime, but wouldn’t it be interesting to see Claire as a mother?

[princepriestandpirate]

Yo do them all for Ilde! (If u want!)

 FINALLY these are finished here’s a bunch of backstory about my favorite shitty girl

1. How does your character think of their father? What do they hate and love about him? What influence - literal or imagined - did the father have?

she kinda idolized the guy tbh. she saw him as an ideal to aspire to, someone who was a hero and lived an exciting life, and ultimately he was more of a symbol than an actual person that she remembered (he disappeared when she was 8). he represented freedom & excitement that she didn’t have in her life, and later on what it meant to be a “hero” (alongside mara). the idea of him influenced her path in life a lot, even if she probably would have fucked off to travel around anyway. 

2. Their mother? How do they think of her? What do they hate? Love? What influence - literal or imagined - did the mother have?

it’s…. complicated. she loves her mom a lot, her mom is her favorite (living) family member, but their relationship is sort of muddied by ilde being the Family Disappointment™ (and fucking off at the age of 16 to be an adventurer) and the kind of weird relationship that her dad has to the family (bc she looks a lot like her father and is a lot like him). so. it’s weird. they’re very distant now.

3. Brothers, sisters? Who do they like? Why? What do they despise about their siblings?

She has an older half-sister, who is about 6 years older than her, named Ada. i’d characterize their relationship as… distant? more than anything else? they’re just far apart in age and in personality that they grew apart as they grew older, although when they were younger ilde was a pain in ada’s ass, very loud and always wanting to play. 

at the end of the day though, ilde’s also a little jealous of her sister because she’s everything she couldn’t be– she’s smarter and more responsible and always seems like she’s figured everything out and has found her place in the work. ilde doesn’t regret her life decisions but she know that they made her the black sheep of the family, so sometimes she’s jealous that ada just seems to fit into that life so well.

4. What type of discipline was your character subjected to at home? Strict? Lenient?

i think her mom erred on the more lenient side, trying to give her the benefit of the doubt, or save that try to approach the situation by talking it out rather than going straight to punishment. she probably couldn’t keep it up all the time though, ilde was a troublemaker

5. Were they overprotected as a child? Sheltered?

not really? she had a normal family who took care of her but she wasn’t overprotected by any means

6. Did they feel rejection or affection as a child?

a weird mix of the two, and probably not on purpose. her family loved her and cared for her (ada will always say that ilde was mom’s favorite) but ilde, physically and personality-wise, is just a little to reminiscent of her father. this meant her mother treated her with a little more leniency, but her sister and her grandmother saw her father in a much less favorable light (that he abandoned the family or that he was too reckless and a bad example), and through either being compared to him or them obviously not looking highly on his chosen profession (which ilde idolized) she felt somewhat rejected. she just felt like she couldn’t fit their vision of what they wanted her to be, basically.

7. What was the economic status of their family?

they’re middle class, they own a small cobbling business.

8. How does your character feel about religion?

she didn’t like it when she was younger (her family worshipped waukeen but in a very ‘goes to church on sunday’ kind of thing, so ilde just saw religion as just a thing that she was supposed to do and therefore boring and annoying), but she’s grown to respect those who practice religion (hanging out with a paladin for like 3 years will do that to you) although she doesn’t want to have anything to do with it herself. she doesnt want anyone telling her want to do or believe.

9. What about political beliefs?

”fuck the government”

10. Is your character street-smart, book-smart, intelligent, intellectual, slow-witted?

street-smart, not very book-smart but that’s a good amount due to a) not liking school as an institution because it’s boring and she’s bad at it so why bother, and b) i think she has a learning disability of some sort, probably dyscalculia or dyslexia which made school difficult for her and thus she figured it wasn’t for her and kind of gave up on it

11. How do they see themselves: as smart, as intelligent, uneducated?

she sees herself as smart when it comes to life skills and street smarts, and sees herself as dumb when it comes to traditionally academic spheres

12. How does their education and intelligence – or lack thereof - reflect in their speech pattern, vocabulary, and pronunciations?

i don’t think she comes across as very educated– she’s very crass and generally doesn’t use a lot of complex vocabulary, and her speech in general tends to be very informal. she probably also has a bit of an accent that reflects where she’s from

13. Did they like school? Teachers? Schoolmates?

she hated all of it. too many rules and too much structure, and as a result she got in trouble a lot. she also didn’t have a lot of close friends and ended up getting into fights with other kids

14. Were they involved at school? Sports? Clubs? Debate? Were they unconnected?

i dont think her school had much of that? and if it did i don’t think she’d be interested in much of it.

15. Did they graduate? High-School? College? Do they have a PHD? A GED?

she’s the equivalent of a high school drop out

16. What does your character do for a living? How do they see their profession? What do they like about it? Dislike?

she’s an “adventurer” which really is just a fancy word for doing odd and dangerous jobs for not as much money as she should be making. it’s tough work and it’s never as stable or safe or as glory-filled as she’d imagined. she wouldn’t have it any other way though– nothing else affords her the same amount of freedom. also in other jobs you dont get to hit stuff w/ an axe as much? what’s even the point then

17. Did they travel? Where? Why? When?

yes, everywhere she can, because staying in one place too long is boring and she needs to keep looking for work. she’s still traveling now, really

18. What did they find abroad, and what did they remember?

a great mentor, new skills, a cool ass axe, and a sense of like... personal responsibility. she remembers what she learned from mara, both the practical skills and the lessons that she didn’t even know she was learning. she remembers bandits and monsters and getting cheated out of money and the feeling of pride in a finishing blow. she remembers seeing mara die and thinking “was it like this for dad, too?”

19. What were your character’s deepest disillusions? In life? What are they now?

the adventuring life isn’t everything she thought it’d be. it’s kind of thankless, and kind of lonely, and there’s not as much glory in it as one would expect. this doesn’t mean she wont brag about her life like it’s actually really cool tho

20. What were the most deeply impressive political or social, national or international, events that they experienced?

discovery of the other continent, but that’s about it

21. What are your character’s manners like? What is their type of hero? Whom do they hate?

she’s, uh, kind of an asshole tbh? or at least she can be very rude and crass and really doesn’t care about manners all that much. as for heroes, she thinks a true hero is someone who is willing to give up everything, including their life, for other people. sort of by extension, she hates cowards and people who hurt the innocent. the worst type of people are a mix of those two.

22. Who are their friends? Lovers? ‘Type’ or ‘ideal’ partner?

she doesn’t have many friends, and most of the friends that she does have are friends of circumstance rather than long-lasting relationships. her closest friendship was with mara, but that was also very much a mentorship and born partially out of the benefits of having a traveling partner (and ilde having a bit of a crush) right now though, she’d consider her squad and some of the pirates and prisoners to be sort of friends.

she doesn’t have any lovers lol, but her type tends to be “cute girls who could probably kick her ass”

23. What do they want from a partner? What do they think and feel of sex?

i think she wants someone who could match her & challenge her, push her to be better but also not make her settle down or give up her freedom. really, she wants a romantic AND traveling partner. as for sex, it’s something she enjoys but she’s kinda shy around girls unless she’s drunk so it’s not something she’s having a lot of lol

24. What social groups and activities does your character attend? What role do they like to play? What role do they actually play, usually?

not many? if she’s in a social group she’s usual a part of one because they’re all on the same job (or, as w/ this campaign, all thrown into the same bad situation). in which case she likes to take charge and drive the group forward, even if she’s not the technical leader, although she often just ends up being the fighty one who’s maybe a leader in battle but not in the rest of the mission (or not in a meaningful way)

25. What are their hobbies and interests?

hitting things w/ an axe

26. What does your character’s home look like? Personal taste? Clothing? Hair? Appearance?

the closest thing she has to home is her family’s shop, which i think of as being very cozy and well-maintained. her room is probably kind of sparse but messy when she stays there. 

as for personal taste, i don’t think she’s very aesthetics-oriented in general, and will go for usefulness over looking good, although she’ll make an exception for anything that looks badass or has the color red in it. she’s currently wearing her pirate’s uniform with the sleeves ripped off, along with her armor. she has long red hair that she usually keeps up in some sort of bun, or in a braid or braids in her downtime. she is short and stocky, with pale skin and freckles, large brown eyes and a strong jaw. i rolled for it an apparently she’s pretty hot too, although i don’t think she puts much work into her appearance beyond the basics.

27. How do they relate to their appearance? How do they wear their clothing? Style? Quality?

her relationship to clothing is very pragmatic, but she likes anything that will carry across the notion that she’s cool and badass and not to be messed with. she wears her clothing in whatever way is most comfortable, and goes for comfort and quality over anything else.

28. Who is your character’s mate? How do they relate to him or her? How did they make their choice?

she is very single rn (altho she thinks lionheart is cute)

29. What is your character’s weaknesses? Hubris? Pride? Controlling?

a very bad mix of pride and recklessness. she’s incredibly prideful and doesn’t want to ever ask for help and it’s gotten her in trouble before. mix that with a propensity to not think very much before she acts (although she’s gotten better about that as she’s gotten older) and it’s a recipe for disaster and also lying to her mom too much

30. Are they holding on to something in the past? Can he or she forgive?

kind of; she’s still holding onto her father and mara’s death, but not really in the sense of holding onto a grudge, more in the sense of holding onto those memories because she admires them, and especially with mara wants to follow in her example to honor her memory. so her holding onto the past grounds her with some ideals and morals, especially about sacrifice and what it means to be a hero

31. Does your character have children? How do they feel about their parental role? About the children? How do the children relate?

she has no kids and doesn’t want any

32. How does your character react to stress situations? Defensively? Aggressively? Evasively?

very aggressively, put her in a stressful situation and her first reaction is to fight back, either verbally or physically

33. Do they drink? Take drugs? What about their health? 

she drinks, mostly to relax in between jobs

34. Does your character feel self-righteous? Revengeful? Contemptuous?

yeah a general feeling of anger is pretty common, right now mostly directed at someone i can’t talk about because spoilers, but she’s dealing with it. she chopped of a worm’s head so she cooled down a little, even if so and so is still a fucking coward

35. Do they always rationalize errors? How do they accept disasters and failures?

unless they’re particularly spectacular failures she just tries to move on from any mistakes she makes and not linger on them too long. her first instinct usually isn’t to blame herself tho

36. Do they like to suffer? Like to see other people suffering?

she doesn’t like to suffer, but she thinks that all of the struggles (physical or emotional) that she’s had to go through have made her stronger, so she’s okay with having gone through them. she doesn’t like seeing innocents or friends suffer but if it’s the person/thing she’s fighting it’s fine. she’s not going to draw out anyone’s suffering though.

37. How is your character’s imagination? Daydreaming a lot? Worried most of the time? Living in memories?

she tends to live in the present and focus on dealing with current problems rather than be off in her own world, although that’s more of a result of her growing up than anything. when she was younger, she was constantly dreaming about being an adventurer.

38. Are they basically negative when facing new things? Suspicious? Hostile? Scared? Enthusiastic?

a weird mix of suspicious and enthusiastic? like, she’s constantly seeking out new experiences but at the same time she’s been doing this shit long enough to be aware of potential danger and ready to fight it.

39. What do they like to ridicule? What do they find stupid?

oh so much. SO much. she generally likes to ridicule people she doesn’t like, especially people who take themselves too seriously or who are very uptight

40. How is their sense of humor? Do they have one?

she definitely has a sense of humor but it’s kind of a mean one-- she tends to laugh at other people’s embarrassments and fuck ups

41. Is your character aware of who they are? Strengths? Weaknesses? Idiosyncrasies? Capable of self-irony?

she’s gained a bit of this as she’s grown older. she’s not terribly introspective but she’s gained a better sense of her own strengths and weaknesses and is at least able to reflect back on her younger self with something resembling self-criticism

42. What does your character want most? What do they need really badly, compulsively? What are they willing to do, to sacrifice, to obtain?

she wants freedom, hands down. it’s not a very tangible “want” but it’s the thing that drives most of her decisions-- it’s the reason she rebelled so much as a kid, the reason she left home, the reason she continues to travel and take odd jobs to make ends meet, the reason she want so badly to get off these islands. she’s will to cut ties and even hurt others if necessary.

43. Does your character have any secrets? If so, are they holding them back?

not to the people around her, but she’s been exaggerating how cool/exciting/good her life is to her family for a while because she’s a prideful shit who can’t admit when she’s wrong, and it keeps her from having a closer relationship w/ her family and a stronger support system. (i don’t think she went home right after mara died because of this and just dealt with it by herself because she couldnt bring herself to tell her family ‘oh this life kinda sucks sometimes,’ and she only ever goes home when she’s doing well for herself)

44. How badly do they want to obtain their life objectives? How do they pursue them?

she’s a girl of action-- she wanted to be an adventurer so she became one, even not being super prepared for what it would be like at all. she tends to jump in head-first into things

45. Is your character pragmatic? Think first? Responsible? All action? A visionary? Passionate? Quixotic?

she’s grown more pragmatic as she’s grown up, but she’s fundamentally very action-oriented and puts her heart into what she’s doing. she was very irresponsible as a kid but has grown more responsible w/ age.

46. Is your character tall? Short? What about size? Weight? Posture? How do they feel about their physical body?

she’s tall for a dwarf (like 4′11″) but short overall, her body type is pretty broad/stocky and muscular. she has pretty decent posture but it’s only because her grandmother was strict about it– she doesn’t care about her posture much but she tends to fall back into good posture. as for her body, she’s very proud of it! the way she sees it, her body is a weapon that she put a lot of work into honing and mastering, and her muscles and her scars are the result of that hard work, so why not be proud of them?

47. Do they want to project an image of a younger, older, more important person? Does they want to be visible or invisible?

she wants to project the image of someone a little older and very in-control and commanding. she wants to be very visible.

48. How are your character’s gestures? Vigorous? Weak? Controlled? Compulsive? Energetic? Sluggish?

depends on her mood. all of her movements tend to have a lot of weight to them, and her movements are either v energetic or v relaxed

49. What about voice? Pitch? Strength? Tempo and rhythm of speech? Pronunciation? Accent?

uhh kind of on the lower side (somewhat deliberate bc it gives off an air of her being confident and serious or some shit), and she tends to be kinda loud. she talks very casually so she doesn’t care if sometimes her words run together a little. she speaks like she wants to be heard and get her point across. she probably has a light accent that one would probably recognize as being from Drag’t, and vaguely dwarvish (bc that’s probably her actual first language and one she spoke at home a lot)

50. What are the prevailing facial expressions? Sour? Cheerful? Dominating?

a general expression of “don’t fuck with me”

[backtothestart02]

Let's do some favorite What are your top three WA moments? And what are top three Spallen moments (I thought they were cute too, just not my OTP!) ? I hope you are feeling better today!

Oh, WOW. Top three SPALLEN moments too?!? I’ve never even thought of these tbh. Lmao. No one has ever asked. 😂 I’ll see if I can even remember far back enough to give you my top moments for them, but okay, here we go!

WESTALLEN:

1) 1x15 - Iris’s confession + kiss-like I could watch this scene on repeat for days (the whole episode rly). Everything from the music to the dialogue to the kiss (obvs) & both their facial expressions throughout it all are LIFE. 😍 Plus HE reveals to her he’s the Flash. More than I could’ve ever dreamed. Def a top 3 moment of theirs for me. ❤️

2) 2x23 - “I love you, Barry”-this whole scene was life & the best first kiss/ILYs we deserved. We see even in 3x21, it’s a huge moment for Barry b/c it’s one of the biggest memories he loses & then gets back. Just…Iris reaching out to Barry, using the potential of a romantic relationship as a way to help him cope, then understanding that for him even that’s not enough. Her willingness to wait for him b/c he waited so long for her. And then that ILY in that soft, choked up voice (that I did not see coming at ALL), followed by the sweetest, most perfect, most climactic kiss ever, I… And then Barry reciprocates her feelings too, which I had been waiting for since 2x16 I’m pretty sure. We got little nuggets in 2x20-2x22, but none of them were as clear cut as I wanted them to be (though 2x22 came pretty close), so that made my life as well. Aaaand we’ll just ignore everything that came next. Lol. Def DEF a top WA scene for me. Lol.

3) 3x09 - “I love you, Barry Allen” / “I love you, Iris West” + 3x14 opening scene & 3x14 proposal & 3x17 proposal…-basically all their big, super romantic moments in s3. Lol. I just can’t narrow it down to one out of all the incredibly gushworthy ones we got. Firsts are obvs a big thing for me. Asking Iris to move w/ him on Christmas + ILYs? That scene was so pure. I can’t help but ‘awwww’ over it every time I see it. The 3x14 opening scene was EVERYTHING. It was so domestic & Barry being so extra & Iris being shook & ILYs w/ the most adorable little kisses imaginable & the very clear implication of morning sex, I… It was life. I want many MANY more scenes like that in the show’s future (so we can all see it). The 3x14 proposal - *sigh* its tainted now & I know that. But if you ignore what came after (lol)…it was SO ROMANTIC. Candles EVERYWHERE, Iris’s favorite dish (& since he didn’t tell Joe abt the proposal, it means HE MADE IT HIMSELF), her fav ice cream, that super romantic backstory. I mean, I just… For a proposal w/ ulterior motives, that was pretty damn impressive. And Iris’s facial expressions throughout. She was so shook & touched &…that scene was GREAT. 😍 And ofc the 3x17 proposal. What can I say? He SANG for her. He wrote up a song & sang it & he put his whole heart into her. It was rly about just how much he loved her this time & it was so, SO beautiful. He doesn’t like to show off his singing talent if he doesn’t have to, but he did this. They freaking slow danced during it (which was def on my list of WA wishes to see) & the way he just so tenderly caressed her cheeks & held her hand…and he proposes to her in the exact same place he broke up w/ her, so he’s basically replacing a heartbreaking moment w/ the best moment of their lives. So when Iris looks at that spot on their windowsill, she’ll think of him proposing genuinely, not breaking her heart & I just… such a beautiful, BEAUTIFUL moment. The proposal at the end of the scene was just the cherry on top. Bless.

…

SPALLEN:

1) 2x05 - “I don’t want to wait anymore.”-Okay, so this whole episode was so adorable for them in general, what w/ the blind date & first kiss & all, but this line in particular just sold it for me. These two had been flirting non-stop for the past three eps at least (& only once was it too cheesy for me to go ‘RLY, guys?’ Lol). Barry ofc was in denial bc he’s not over Iris & doesn’t want to move on in case there’s the possibility Iris will suddenly want to be w/ him, but Joe tells him on more than one occasion that he’s into Patty, which he eventually has to admit to. Lol. And I love when he does & he makes a very determined effort to put her & their potential romantic relationship first. He corners her on the stairs & lays it all out, makes it obvs that there’s a connection there for him & he wants to explore it. Now that the blinders have been peeled away from his eyes, there’s no going back for him, & I just rly, rly love that line. And the whole episode. :P

2) 2x06 - “I might need a reminder soon.”-This ep had some great, swoonworthy scenes for them too (including the last one - “getting to know you makes me happy” 😭😩😍). But, as corny as it was, them recalling their first kiss & Patty being all ‘oh, I’m forgetting about it suddenly…you better kiss me again, so I remember.’ Lol. Too cute. I adore it. ❤️

3) 2x10 - “You need to figure out what it is that you want, and do it fast.”-Maybe it doesn’t make sense that this scene is in my top 3, but the angst was SO GOOD. He hadn’t told her yet & she was worried about him & had given him so many opportunities to tell her & she wants to go deeper w/ him. She wants the relationship to move past fun to serious, but there’s no way it can if he can’t meet her halfway. And I just…I was holding my breath, on the edge of my seat…I just wanted him to TELL HER. And then at the end of the ep I was hopeful & then that got squashed & 2x11 just hurt, but that scene in 2x10…MAN. It was so good. They could’ve come back from that & I’m so pissed that they didn’t, but it rly was just SO… like, he was finally rly listening to her & it was just emotionally top notch. Such a solid scene, even as it was breaking my heart. 😢

Aaaaand that’s a wrap!! As of rn, I’m not totally feeling better. But I appreciate your concern, Anon, & thanks for sending me such a fun ask! I felt the same way about spallen as you, so it was cool to actually get into that w/ somebody. 😁

I was gonna add pics for every scene, but I didn’t know when I’d get around to making those & I wanted to respond to this right away. Lol. Maybe later, but you’ll prob have to just settle for text. ;)

Thanks again!

[sickeninggrelle]

hello!

this shouldve been the first post i made but oh well lol!! (also long post ahead) im a new kuro blog and i just wanted to share some of my standings/opinions on certain kuro topics and certain things/characters/ships that i like and also some things i don’t like ! (also u can ask if i dont state smth u wanna know) i wanted 2 do this just so ppl know in case they rly dont or do agree w/ me on smth

these ones are shorter points then the ones later in the post

 so 2 of the most important things to state for me just to get it out of the wat, seba//ciel and other pedo/incest ships are freaking gross and dont follow me if u support them!! ciel and alois are csa survivors and its nasty that yall would ship em with adults!

i use she/her pronouns for grell bc she is a trans women!

personally i hc grell as straight but ive seen a lot of other ppl call her bi or lesbian which i also think is cute!

some of my most favs are grell, undertaker, (those 2 are my most favorite), seb, claude (ill talk a lil bit more abt them after this point), snake, william, ronald, othello, basically all the shinigami lol, bardoy, finn, lau, ash/angela, joker, doll, vincent, agni, soma, and probs a few others i cant think if rn. and i havent read a lot of the manga as of rn (but i know whats happening) so sry if i didnt list a lot of the characters that have been shown in the manga and not the anime !

im rly invested in this franchise and i love all the characters and they story is so interesting and cool, i love the theories, fanart and fanfics ppl share!!

grell is such a strong and important character and i love her!! i could write a whole essay abt her but i might save that for later :,,))

i like to think that in modern age a lot of grim reapers from the show would still be serving their sentence

and since its been shown the grim reapers are much more advanced than humans, i think that at some point othello studied trans surgeries and was able 2 give grell the sex change shes always wanted :,,) 

i personally agree with the theory that ut is o and r ciels grandfather and was someway in a relationship w/ claudia whether they were married or lovers. i like 2 think they were married even though it would make some more things confusing but i just think theyre so dang cute!! i think most ppl agree w/ this theory lol

ut just wanted his family and funky grandkids 2 be happy and everything turned to big poopoo garbage and i feel so sad for him :(( i think he got messed up even more after the manor burned down and wanted to use his doll expeiriments to try and bring back rciel (even tho thats not how u mourn but hes just that desperate) he might not be as close to the phantomhives in his backstory as i think he is but i just like to think he is lol bc i just rly like cute happy families

o!!m!!g!! i L O V E grelliam!! its such a cute ship,, grell and will fit together so well and they balance each other out so well too?? after being together for like 100 years theyre basically an old married couple and i luv them,, i could literally go on and on but this post is already super long lol,, but if anyone wants 2 talk abt them more w/ me id be more than happy to!!

b4 i get into these next few points i just wanna state that i dont rly like 2 get into kuro drama/discourse these are just simply my opinions. u can feel free 2 not read or not follow if u disagree. these are more wordy and in depth topics i wanted 2 talk abt bc i have a dumb need to over explain things lol

ive seen only a few ppl do this, but ive seen ppl that hate on seb for being horrible and abusive and like i dont rly get why? like obviously hes not the best bc hes a literal demon and just wants his soul in the end and in canon they arent friends but hes never literally abused ciel :/ bad morals and bad ppl is like one of the main themes of the show so its not supposed to be all sunshine and rainbows lol. if u rly look at it, all the characters in kuro have an unlikeable/bad quality abt them. theres barely any characters that havent dont anything wrong. not saying that ciel and all the characters are monsters tho! yana stated herself that ciel is supposed to have bad qualities. idk if any of that made sense lol its like 3 am rn

personally i like to hc that seb and ciel r like funky pals that care for eachother even just a lil bit (not in a shipping way i mean a friend/guardian way). maybe in an au lol

i like the aesthetic and characters in season 2, but imo its the worst season in the anime bc the story line and motives of the characters kinda flopped lol. even tho i know its bad, i still like it mainly cause of the characters that were introduced

i like claude, i like his aesthetic and he actually differs from seb in a lot of ways. his plan 2 achieve his motive to eat ciels soul was super dumb tho, hes a cool character but also a dumbass lol which is why ill laugh at jokes making fun of him.

but unlike seb i actually do think claude emotionally manipulated alois and killed him even tho he didnt deserve it. claude didnt “care” for alois like how seb “cares” for ciel (if that makes sense) seb actually had done a lot to protect ciel and obey his orders and the contract, but claude literally just said fu and killed him just so he could get another kids soul lmao

and once again, pedo ships are gross and horrible!!!

oof sry that was long and probably uneeded lol  but those were just sum things i wanted 2 share! also i didnt proofread all of this so sry if theres mistakes, i might add to this in the future as well

[sarcastic-doodle]

When the antis for KC come calling...

So, @morleybell got an ask on the above topic, and I wanted to reply to it,but it got too long so I thought I’d make it into its own post. So the question was what to reply to antis who claim Klaroline is abusive.

Here goes :

Not even in the fandom since s5(never in tumblr!tvd fandom like ever) but I do skim the tag every once in a while. Came across your post, loved the general gist of it, but would like to add some and clear up some stuff you passionately stated in bulk😆, if you don’t mind. I’ve been wanting to get this out for a long time.

I think the crux of this whole matter is an element which is called a ‘morally grey character’ ; you know the ones - not entirely a villian but too twisted to be a traditional hero. Obviously there are naysayers who say Klaus doesn’t fit into the mold of someone w/ grey morality, hey haters gonna hate but the jury’s still out on that one apparently even though it’s obvious. Moving On. More on this later.

• agree with the SC part. If one looks at the whole picture from the start, Caroline got shitted upon and shoved to side by the writers and her supposed ‘friends’ right from the start in favour of Elena even by stefan. The afterthought. The girl every new male addition to the cast(not all but close) hooked up with. The secondary character whose romantic plot usually has their fan going “uhmmm not exactly the one I’d choose for her. This is just settling” because hey!one needs to fill up the episode, right? Who cares if she was a second choice?

For me, Klaroline came in at that part of the plot, where I was just about tearing my hair apart because the MF gang were really pissing me off. Caroline was never a priority, everyone was willing to let her be collateral damage in this ever revolving war against elena, she was just supposed to accept that her best friend is dating her assaulter. I mean I get that she is the cornucopia of giving, but thats what friends are for! To make these givers realise that enough is enough, now think about yourself, make yourself a priority. The Caroline I fell in love with initially, the one with the big dreams, the one who wanted to live live to the fullest, explore the entire world because yes embracing vampirism gave her that opportunity….That Girl was entirely diminished by the end. There’s growing up and having responsibilities and then there’s having to grow up because of not-their-doing responsibilities. Klaus had come in a AT THAT CRUCIAL POINT. I remember thinking ‘yesss, she’s a priority for once’ also ‘idc if this relationship works out or not, but this one can be her ticket and reason to move out of that soul-sucking selfish town and friends’

• IT’S A SUPERNATURAL SHOW. This. Funny and irritating why people forget this. The show depicts them as these all encompassing, good in combat and strategy, well versed in lore of the centuries, sensual, blood-drinking vampires…I’m afraid that goes hand in hand with blood and sex and murder and deceit. If you want a century old virgin goody two shoes, I believe you’re in the wrong franchise. For this show, its not about who is good and who is bad, it’s about who is evil and who is more evil, and that too is relative on how you define evil/what you consider evil. Also what’s blatant in this fandom, is the hypocrisy. This is what I wanted to especially expound upon :

So what irritates me about the fans the most is their hypocrisy. Also the puritan fanaticism some have embraced and loudly preached. I wont even include DE and Damon in my arguments, i think they’ve been discussed at length by all (like it deserves to be) this is better explained with Stefan. When people say Klaus is a mass murderer and has killed soooo many people over the years, ergo klaus is evil but stefan is my innocent bae(not verbatim but the intent is obvious)…. conveniently forgetting the fact that stefan killed so many people too, went ripper twice, in his 300(?) yrs…had he lived as long as klaus lived…who know whether the number would have risen or not (hint : it will)Imagine living on and on for so many years, the world around you changing, civilisations changing,people you loved dying, but you’re set in stone. Immortality has been romanticised like all get go, but realistically I can’t imagine someone not going absolute nutters every once in a while whether or not you have a reason to keep living on. The show has shown only the positive sides of Stefan and his dealing with vampirism which in turn makes him appealing, but I can’t imagine someone with Stefan’s characterisation - the broodiness and the guilt - would live a long innocent life. Psychologically, something will always make him crack. I know I’m coming across as someone who hates Stefan which is simply not true. S1-3 Stefan and S1-4 Caroline were my absolute faves. Believe me, I only watched the show until then for these two. But I realised we do excuse his murders w/ - he didn’t want to, he feels guilty, he repented, it’s out of his control. But ultimately clinically speaking(with my inner stefan fan supressed)…There were dead bodies. Families mourned. Lives were taken. Stefan regretted it yes, but it doesn’t give them their life back. None of these vampire’s victims (Salvatore’s, Mikaelsons’,Forbes’) are coming back. Why do we not still hate stefan or any 'good side’ vampires for that, but love to do it to the Mikaelsons?

Second thing I mentioned was puritanism. Simply put, this goes in the good box ; this goes in the baaaad box. Some people differentiate characters like - this is a good person(can do no wrong) and this is a bad person(be suspicious of this one’s dealings ) from the initial interactions and context of the show. Characters on the 'Good’ side in the start, are reveled for doing 'a thing’ ; but if a potentially grey character from the 'Bad’ side does the same 'thing’ they are jeered upon for doing it. Am I saying don’t point out and jeer evil wrongdoings of evil characters? NO. I’m not trying to be apologist for villains, most deserve what we throw at them. BUT But but, in this case, on this show, is the line differentiating them really that clear? Are these 'good’ and 'bad’ characters exclusively on those sides? Like you mentioned, Kol is killed, Klaus retaliates. Had a sibling from the 'good ’ side been killed by the Mikaelsons, pretty sure they’d have retaliated the same way. We cheer one but jeer the other? Why? The deed is the same, cruel and inhuman on both accounts, yet we celebrate one and mourn other?

What people instantly think when I say this, 'you’re probably a person who excuses abuse in real life too’'you believe this…you must be horrid in real life’….*shrugging* A. There is a clear divide between fiction and reality. one I have to actually live in and the other is entertainment. Damn sure I can differentiate between them. B. There is an actual sense is not automatically trusting the NiceGuy, everyone has flaws if you look hard enough, they’re gonna come out eventually I’d rather not be lulled in a false sense of security. I’m not saying The Mikaelsons are good people and they just need some lurrvvve and understanding. What I’m saying is the Mikaelsons are shitty. But so are the Salvatores. So is Elena. And sometimes so is Caroline. If its just fiction, isn’t it hypocritical thay we only hold few accountable, but excuse the behaviour of the rest?

When people say KC is 'abusive’ I always take in with the idea that it’s because Klaus is heartless mass murderer. Which he is. There’s no going around that. He IS NOT a good guy. That stabbing didn’t really make sense to me…why did he do it? But tyler’s mum yeah…if you can excuse the council for their behaviour, don’t be a hypocrite please when the favor is returned. On a completely different but still related note, this is similar to the bullying topic in HP. When it comes to being bullies for whatever reason, people easily excuse the marauders because ultimately they were on the 'light’ side. But draco is held accountable even though he was technically younger than james. But back on the topic at hand.

But KC? Like you provided the lines and to anyone who watched the show….Caroline was not impressed by him. Attracted to him?Sure. But she never acted on it at all until 5×11. She kept questioning his motives, was suspicious of his moves, never defended his actions, brought up his misdeeds to him when he tried to pretend to be a good guy, tried to sneakily gain favours from him utilising his interest in her, it goes on and on. You never hear a single praise for him from her lips (as far as I can remember) All she did was that she gave him a benefit of doubt. Try to understand his motives rather than just IDENTIFY. EVIL. KILL. Try to understand that someone who has lived this long, what goes on thay ancient head, did he ever want to be human? , how does he justify his misdeeds? But Was it enough? Well canonically, apparatently not.

And I get it. I’m not saying excuse the murders by the Mikaelson’s too. NO. I’m saying hold all of them responsible. Caroline. Stefan. Damon. Klaus. And then critic the characters after that. Don’t claim some sort of moral high ground when there isn’t any.

This show, these writers…when given enough screen time, they could redeem an irredeemable villain of their choosing. Seriously, for real. (Damon gets it but Katherine or Kai(this one would need toooo much work) doesnt) and people lap it up. Basically, it’s on the writers on who they choose to get to be the GoodGuy, which villian gets forgiveness for the misdeeds even though the other villains did the same thing. I don’t watch TO but I’m sure they gave 'reasons’ and 'backstory’ on why Klaus behaves the way he does. I mean if you think in a critical analysis sort of way, that is how a redemption arc works. You get to know the inner workings and history of the protag and what experiences made them the person they are, then it’s upto the audience whether or not they forgive them.

But I digress. What is the main point of this entirely too long rant, is that saying KC is abusive is just absurd. Not on this show, not in this context. If its klaus that is your problem, you better have a problem w/ the rest of the lot too. Also he is the one guy who was the only one who asked Caroline whether she would like the cure instead, didn’t use her solely to get to elena, prioritised her, didn’t think Caroline’s love to plan and shop and everything that does not scream stereotypical intelligent girl as shallow and superficial, gave her plenty opportunities to make something more out of her life if she wanted with or WITHOUT HIM. If she wanted to fly free alone for a decade or even a century or two, go for it as long she came back to him when she’s had her fill. Yeah, that just screams abusive and controlling to me😒

Bottom line anti kcs, I’m sorry you wanted this to be a black and white clear issue so you justify your hate. But it’s simply not. I’m not saying KC IS an angelic done-no-evil ship, but when ships all around are pirates, what’s another one,eh.

Also, might as well reiterate, I haven’t seen the show after 4×22, just kept up w/ the show from a lot of different shipper’s (SE, KC and SC shippers too unfortunately) blogs and my sister who watches the show, so I might be off w/ some of the facts. If any of them are blatantly obvious and it’s because I missed something crucial in the remaining seasons I’m tagging the people I’ve seen answering KC qs or were active in their KC defense so this post is refined @my-ownfairytale @klarolinedrabbles @jonsnowbitch

[friedcircuitboards-blog]

DiMA/Faraday Headcanons

I made these for an OC prompt, dunno if anyone else would find them interesting but just in case...

1. Meanest VS Kindest – They're both sweetie pies! Faraday can be a little standoffish with strangers, but he soon warms up to people so long as they respect all the synths in Acadia (ESPECIALLY DIMA) and don't interfere with his work too much.

DiMA is the kindest most gentle jellybean in existence who cries for half an hour if he accidentally steps on a bug.. BUT he will end you if you hurt any of his friends. Maybe not by physical means, but when he's done with you all that will be left is a shrivelled burned up lump where your ego used to be. Not to be trifled with.

So long as you're good to them they'll be sweet to you though.

2. Tallest VS Shortest – DiMA is about half a head taller than Faraday without taking his tubey crown into account. Neither of them are exactly short though.

3. Most humble VS Most arrogant – Depends on your definition of arrogance. DiMA's insistence on leading a certain way of life, being true to himself as a synth, could be considered arrogance even though he never views that way of life as inherently superior. Sometimes he can get stuck in his own head a little and the ideals within them can be a little too lofty for more pragmatic people.

Even if you end up in a philosophical debate with him however he's so good at swinging around to other people's way of thinking, viewing one subject from all the angles. He strives for his idea of perfection, but while he might disapprove of an opponents views outwardly he still maintains a live and let live policy. So long as it doesn't hurt or subjugate others, he won't tell you how to live your life.

Faraday can be arrogant on DiMA's behalf though. He's not arrogant at all as a person, being proud of his work and okay with his own moral compass but not having particularly strong feelings about it either way. He's perfectly happy to defer to other people's judgement. If you try to belittle DiMA though you best prepare for hell because that synth is CLEARLY perfect and has the best ideas EVER and if you don't listen to him you must be a fucking IDIOT or something. Obviously.

4. Coldest VS Most emotional – Faraday isn't cold by any means but he doesn't trust as easily as DiMA does. Even if he did he's just nowhere near as social. He enjoys company well enough, but he's a bit of an introvert so he values his privacy. Whenever he's with someone he likes he's a deeply sensitive person however, and he's comfortable with wearing his heart on his sleeve more so long as it's in a one on one conversation. (And when he's with DiMA he's a blushing, excited mess.)

DiMA is almost a little too comfortable with his feelings, often making others squirm with how openly he expresses them. He operates on a fairly chill level most of the time so it's not like he goes around weeping tears of joy, but he's not about to put any masks on. People generally get used to how blunt he can be.

5. Most chaste VS Most lustful – Faraday can be shy, but he's by no means prudish. They're both emotionally monogamous types in the first place so even before they confessed feelings for each other they rarely got involved with anyone else, both of them much preferring long term relationships to one night stands.

DiMA doesn't have the right hormones to give him a libido, but he can feel physical pleasure and simulate his own version of climax so he does enjoy sex. He enjoys physical closeness more though, along with the emotional aspect. Before meeting Faraday he experimented a little with a few people from far harbour, then later, the children of atom, but they tended to be the kind of people who fetishized him for what he was so it wasn't very fulfilling. He liked the sensations, and he enjoyed being able to make other people feel good, but he didn't really get much out of it himself until he started having sex with Faraday and understood what had been missing. He initiates more often than Faraday does now, even though he's not the one with a real sex drive.

Faraday is the kinky one.

6. Most serious VS Silliest – DiMA has a subtle but.. unusual sense of humour. You have to spend a bit of time with him to notice, but he rarely takes anything too seriously. He likes to make people laugh. After spending nearly a century alone he has some trouble with standard forms of humour, but his own brand can be very witty.

Faraday is the worrier. If he didn't take things seriously DiMA wouldn't, so in many ways he's the true leader of Acadia. Without him the place would fall apart pretty quickly, but he's perfectly happy to just make sure everything stays on track without shouldering all the responsibility himself. He does enjoy kicking back when there's time to.

7. “Sleep is for the weak!” VS “Sleep for a week” - DiMA doesn't need to sleep, but if he could he'd probably sleep for fourteen hours straight on weekends just to see what happened next in his dreams.

Faraday DOES need to sleep, even if he needs it less than a human, but he still exists on three hours a night because god forbid he take his eyes off his fragile boyfriend for longer than that. He'd probably fall to pieces!

8. Happiest VS Saddest – They both have some pretty dark memories from their past, along with the anxiety of having to constantly worry about being discovered by the institute, but neither of them are particularly prone to breakdowns. It's hard staying free as a synth and they're both aware that everything they've built could collapse around them at any moment, but if they allow themselves to dwell on it too long they wouldn't be able to function. They've both sort of gotten used to being low level terrified all the time and they've learned to use that fear to their advantage, to allow them to appreciate everything they have all the more because it was frankly a miracle they had it at all.

The other synths in Acadia suffer in lots of different ways from their experiences, and they often need help. DiMA is usually the one to offer counsel and comfort, but Faraday will always be there to support his friends also, especially the younger synths who find him easier to relate to sometimes.

They both keep a generally positive outlook, which trickles down to the others. Whenever either of them finds themselves struggling the other is always there to guide them through it. As a unit, they rarely get knocked down for long.

9. Darkest backstory VS Lightest Backstory – They both have fairly similar backgrounds, both of them having been created by the Institute and therefore born into a life of slavery. Both of them were forced to endure experiments to varying degrees, but Faraday, being a generation three synth, was only tested to prove his general functionality. It was intended for him to replace the man he was modelled after and to serve as an infiltration unit, so the experiments were fairly innocuous compared to what DiMA had to suffer through.

It doesn't mean that he had an easier time of it, because no matter how briefly a person is treated as some kind of inferior sub species it will effect them just as profoundly, but he wasn't tortured quite as extensively as DiMA was. His personality was ill suited to the life he was forced to lead to begin with, and his natural intelligence and sensitivity allowed him to grow into sentience much faster than the average synth. He managed to escape because the Institute were still allowing him to perform janitorial duties when he became a fully actualised person, before they could lock him away in isolation and force him to accept his mission. He escaped alone, managed to outrun the coursers on his tail by sheer ingenuity, and never had dealings with the railroad or suffered a mind wipe.

Remembering his past life fills him with anger for what they did and tried to do, and he's perhaps much more anxious than he would have been naturally as a result of what they did. He considers himself lucky compared to DiMA though, who endured experimental procedures, almost complete isolation, unanswerable questions about his identity right from the start and later.. complete solitude, for nearly a century. They try not to talk about their past lives too much, but when they do Faraday is always shocked by DiMA's positivity when he's been through all that.

DiMA conversely believes that Faraday is the strongest person he knows for overcoming all the odds, all on his own, without help. It was meeting him that inspired him to found Acadia, to give other frightened runaway synths a safe place to go and to stay if they wished. Somewhere that, unlike the railroad, wouldn't try to convince them to effectively commit suicide in order to be free. He believed that if Faraday could do it and stay sane, others could too. The man was and is practically his entire inspiration.

10. Biggest eater VS Lightest eater – DiMA can process food, but only in very small amounts and rarely, otherwise he damages his internal systems. Experiencing flavours is pleasant for him, but without the real need to eat he only does so occasionally, usually at the insistence of a fellow synth because they made something too good to pass up.

Faraday needs to eat less frequently than a human, but he still needs one decent meal a day to stay healthy. He's not a particularly big eater but he loves blamco mac'n'cheese when he can get it.

Neither of them eat meat. Faraday could probably use a little more protein in his diet, but DiMA refuses to eat meat when he can't reconcile unnecessary loss of life, especially not on his behalf, and he can't help copying his idol in this matter. While he was on the run he was forced to hunt for food a few times and he found out he barely had the stomach for it then.

He does however happily drink milk from their brahmin, because the old girl is as pampered as any animal could be and he hardly sees a reason not to in that case.

11. Most ticklish VS Cruellest tickler – DiMA is an utter bastard when it comes to tickle fights. He has to be careful with his sharp fingers, but so long as he's gentle they're the perfect ticklers and he doesn't show any mercy. Poor Faraday has been reduced to a gasping, laughing, sobbing mess a couple of times when DiMA's been in a sillier mood. He'd probably die of embarrassment if DiMA wasn't so considerate and only did it when they were completely alone.

12. Brainiest VS Brawniest – They're both brainy, neither of them are brawny. Sure they could both bench press Sole over their heads, but that goes for any synth. They're both such gentle people in general that they often forget their own natural advantages. They're both much more interested in solving problems intellectually rather than with brute force.

DiMA is more fragile though, he can still throw Faraday over his shoulder just fine, but the scientist still insists on moving heavy objects for him anyway.

13. Most forgiving VS Most grudgeful – DiMA is the most forgiving by far. He doesn't really know how to hold a grudge, even if you straight up insult him, his mother and his cow.

Faradays grudges, rare as they are, are legendary amongst the Acadian synths. Cog once made the mistake of joking about DiMA's beat up face and it got him the silent treatment for an entire month. They only started speaking again when the guy damn near lost an arm and needed emergency surgery. Only then because Faraday had to ask him 'does this hurt'. Cog swears to this day that Faraday took entirely too much pleasure in poking at his wounds.

14. Physical vices (drugs, sex, alcohol) VS Spiritual vices (Lust, wrath, envy) – Faraday used to have a bit of a med-x problem, a coping mechanism left over from his first days as a runaway where he'd take half doses just so he felt relaxed enough to sleep. Unfortunately it progressed into an addiction and it was DiMA who helped him to kick it. Nobody else knows.

As for spiritual vices Faraday is fairly well balanced. He can be quite a jealous person, a little clingy and needy in relationships, but that's well suited to DiMA's caring, nurturing nature, so the green monster never really gets a chance to make itself known. His sex drive is a bit of a nuisance, being much higher than average, so that might have become a problem if DiMA wasn't perfectly capable of keeping up. None of his kinks are immoral or dangerous either.

DiMA has experimented with drugs and alcohol out of sheer curiosity, but they hardly effect him. His main physical 'vice' would be his complete lack of self care, often putting himself in harms way when it could easily have been avoided. It's always up to Faraday to keep on top of his physical well-being, which is a full time job when DiMA insists on giving Faraday three new injuries to fix every week.

Avarice isn't traditionally something you'd label DiMA with, but he is quite a selfish person in some ways, even when the results of those selfish feelings result in helping others with seemingly altruistic intentions. He spent a long time alone, long enough that he fears loneliness above all else now that he's found a place for himself among others of his own kind. As a result he manipulates those around him into wanting to stay nearby, even if he's not conscious of trying to control them. Because of his ideals however he can't admit that he needs certain things, so he always has to disguise his motives.. even from himself, until he truly believes that whatever he's doing is for the benefit of everyone else instead.

15. Optimistic VS Pessimistic – They're both far more optimistic than they are pessimistic, but they're still practical about the dangers they face. It might seem like spooking at shadows to anyone else, but when most of the population either wants you dead or enslaved you do have to exercise a certain amount of pragmatism in life.

Despite this they both believe in a better future, for them and for everyone else on the island.. maybe beyond that one day, when the world is ready to accept them. It's a long term goal, but one they're both actively working towards every day. Their enthusiasm for this dream is the only thing keeping some of the other Acadian synths going. 16. Most secretive VS Most open – DiMA is the most open by far, he believes in speaking his mind and apologising later if it was offensive to the listener. Contrary to his own ideals though, he would never insist that the others around him open themselves up to scrutiny as much as he does, understanding that sometimes people keep things close to their chest for a reason, and they'll trust him when they're ready. He tries to encourage synths to be comfortable with who and what they are, but he understands that it's a process. It took him a decade of sitting alone in a cave to reach this epiphany himself. Now that he has reached it however he only ever lies about those things which could destroy the delicate balance of peace on the island. They may be huge lies, but they're the only ones he has on his conscience.

Unless he's sworn to confidentiality by a friend of course, then his lips are sealed.

Faraday isn't quite as open, he isn't comfortable with being so emotionally vulnerable. DiMA knows him better than he knows himself, but he's the only one Faraday has confided in completely. He prefers to keep everyone else at arms length, it's less stressful for him that way.

17. Judges a book by its cover VS Judges mostly by personality – They both make judgements after getting to know a person. The only thing they care about on first meeting a person is whether or not they're going to compromise everyone else's safety, whether their reasons for being there are genuine, and if they need anything from them. The rest they've learned will rarely fall into place in the way they expect, not when they're used to greeting terrified synths who've relied on subterfuge for their survival. People are very rarely as they seem at first glance.

18. Best singer VS Tone deaf – Both of them sing really well, but DiMA is the only one who doesn't mind being overheard. Whenever anyone catches Faraday singing he'll blush to the tips of his ears then avoid them for days. Sometimes though, he'll sing when DiMA's around, and the synth will either compliment him on his voice after he's done enjoying the sound of it or they'll strike up a duet, usually complete with dancing. They compliment each other well and DiMA often suggests that they should perform together whenever the synths organise an open mic night. Faraday always refuses, but on two well remembered occasions he did get tipsy enough to join in with Aster, singing Atom Bomb Baby, and it went down a storm.

19. Cast iron stomach VS Most squeamish – Neither of them can really afford to be too squeamish, DiMA because his own insides are permanently on display and Faraday because he's the closest thing the synths have to a doctor (Aster is the closest thing visiting humans might have) and he's had to get used to some pretty nasty sights.

They're both squeamish about killing however, with DiMA flat out refusing to kill even when supply lines with Far Harbor were cut off for three months solid and the synths were forced to hunt or starve. Which is of course ironic given certain moments of his past.

20. Shows most skin VS Covers up most – DiMA is literally a nudist and has probably never worn clothes in his life so yeah.. DiMA shows the most skin.

Faraday probably wouldn't be seen dead out of his lab-coat.

21. Most religious VS Most atheistic – Neither of them are religious, it's hard to be when you've seen the face of your maker. DiMA is extremely philosophical however and manages to see parallels in his own beliefs to those early humans might have experienced which then lead to organised religion. He understands why religion can be important to humans, even if the beliefs they hold can seem strange to him. In his eyes, people are always free to choose what they believe in, and he'll be endlessly fascinated by the way a single concept can be viewed through myriad different prisms to suit whoever might be studying it at the time, but he can't believe in any doctrine himself.

He's a deeply spiritual person, just not a religious one.

Faraday on the other hand isn't nearly as patient as DiMA when it comes to silly humans and their nonsensical beliefs. He sees religion as a dividing force, partly to blame for the destruction of the old world and therefore unforgivable by itself. He'll never blame individuals who believe in religious ideals, but he hates organised religion as a whole.

22. Biggest reader VS Hasn’t touched a book in 3 years – They both consume the written word like it alone can sustain them, so it's hard to say who's the biggest reader. Naturally they're both curious people with a thirst for knowledge, but seeing as they're living in an irradiated hell-hole they value any books they can find that aren't burnt to a crisp a thousand times more than they would have done if such things were plentiful. Collectively they've managed to gather a veritable library of literature on all subjects, mostly through trade, and they treat the books like the precious treasures they are.

All the synths in Acadia are welcome to borrow from this library, as well as add anything they bring with them or find to it themselves. May DiMA have mercy on them though if Faraday catches anyone mistreating their collection.

23. Best at self-care VS Most self-destructive – DiMA is terrible at looking after himself. Like.. really REALLY bad. It's a wonder he ever made it on his own for so long with all his limbs intact. It's not even that he tries to get himself hurt, he just.. forgets that he's not indestructible, and would rather risk himself before anyone else if such a thing becomes necessary. He becomes less indestructible every year because of it, held together with duct tape and hope.

Faraday is also self-destructive in different ways however, such as his lack of sleep and poor eating habits. He gets so caught up in what DiMA needs that he often forgets to look after himself. Not that he ever lets it go too far, because he knows he can't be helpful if he's barely staying on his feet, but DiMA does need to remind him sometimes (ironically) that it's okay to focus on himself. He's far too neat a person to let himself get into a state too, but he could do with a few days of pure rest.

24. Most flirtatious VS Most modest – DiMA enjoys teasing Faraday with subtle overtures in public, nothing anyone would really catch unless they were looking for it, but enough to make Faraday blush. He likes to see how far he can push it before the scientist pulls him aside into one of the unused rooms. On the other hand he's not very good at taking what he deals out, practically malfunctioning whenever Faraday runs a hand over his thigh under the table.

Faraday doesn't really like PDA's very much though, so he tries to keep it subtle whenever there's company. He's not very good at talking dirty, but when they're not being watched he loves to lavish attention on his partner in other ways.. a playful slap on the butt as they pass each other in the corridors, a hand lingering a little too long on his knee while he tightens a bolt in DiMA's chair, an inviting smile as he stretches a little too languidly, gently pinning DiMA to the wall in his office and swallowing the synths whimpers with passionate stolen kisses seconds before Chase was meant to be meeting with them. He likes to see how quickly a synth with no supposed drive can be reduced to a quivering needy mess.

25. Most outdoorsy VS Most indoorsy – DiMA loves the outdoors, he loves nature and being out in it. Any excuse he can get to spend some time outside he'll do it, even if everyone seems hell-bent on keeping him inside for his safety. He patiently reminds them that most of the creatures on the island didn't see him as a threat and would only attack him if he somehow provoked them, but they all worry nonetheless. It doesn't stop him because he'd probably go insane if he was cooped up for too long. He's had more than enough of that already.

Faraday on the other hand is a bit of a homebody and only ventures outside the safety of Acadia's walls when he absolutely has to. Far Harbor kind of depends on him to maintain the fog condensers so he usually leads supply runs to the town, but he begrudges every moment of it. He'd much rather be busy expanding DiMA's memory banks, or happily poring over a dusty old book in front of the fire thank you very much.

[bthump]

what are the things you like and dislike about the '97 anime and the films?

ty for asking, i’m just gonna write a few long lists lol

97 anime likes:

the animation, including the like, yk the more detailed stills they pan over in place of action or to punctuate important moments, i love it

the gorgeous backgrounds

most of the colour choices. red eclipse, femto’s blue eyes, casca’s skintone, griffith’s mauve clothes, etc.

how close it is to the manga. like, it’s a solid adaption just by virtue of making very few changes.

so like, most of it really, because i like the manga

special mention to the entire lead up to the eclipse from griffith’s reality break to the sacrifice tho, because i think that was all pretty damn perfect. it’s the most important scene and they did it right.

actually also shout out to casca’s flashback to griffith and the dead kid, gennon, the river scene, all that. another difficult v emotional sequence that they nailed imo.

griffith thinking about how he “loves” guts during the monologue

skipped most of the griffith/charlotte sex scene iirc which i approve of

the glimpse of black swordsman guts in ep 1. it’s not perfect but it’s way better than the ovas starting w/ 15 yr old guts

the opening and closing themes. fucking love both songs ngl

also the opening monologue. never get tired of hearing it

the score

the portrayal of griffith was honestly pretty solid imo. i have very few issues there. and lbr that’s important lol

97 anime dislikes:

not a big fan of griffith or guts’ character designs.

just about everything that isn’t identical to the manga is a change for the worse

turned griffith’s scratch marks into that giant unexplained scar

adding extra scenes where casca is secretly impressed with guts’ skills in battle in an attempt to build up their relationship better, which instead just made casca look unfair for still being a dick to him for 3 years and made guts stupidly gary stu-ish

obviously the straightforwardly romantic portrayal of guts and casca’s relationship

through several seemingly minor changes (eg, skipping guts’ night of self-doubt after he leaves, giving guts’ stay with godo its own half-episode, making guts inviting casca along super romantic rather than the incredibly casual and assholish way he does it in the manga, etc) it makes Guts’ dream seem legitimately noble and worthwhile, with none of the like… implicit critique the manga has. like honestly it completely fucks up what i consider one of the central themes of the story lol

the pre eclipse stuff also fails to sell guts’ sense of regret - through things like playing guts’ theme while judeau is telling guts to leave, not repeating guts’ statement of regret after casca tells him to leave again, the tone remains consistently in favour of guts’ dream. wrong and bad.

like it really reads like the suggested tragedy is that guts doesn’t get the chance to ditch griffith with judeau and take off with casca and the raiders lol

also fucks it up by never directly mentioning guts’ csa trauma

also fucks it up by losing guts’ self-destructive single-minded urge to fight monsters that we saw thru the wyald stuff. i’m not gonna say that losing wyald was a bad decision, but they should’ve at least moved erika suggesting that guts just wants to fight zodd again to the fucking waterfall scene in question, which they portrayed completely sans zodd discussion, completely sans implication of the self-destructiveness of guts’ dream

like in the manga he nearly gets killed by the falling logs and just laughs it off like a dumbass while erika is concerned and suggests that guts is driven by something irrational and not actually a ~noble~ dream, ie, wanting to fight zodd again (ie, going deeper, his csa trauma), while in the anime we get a 2nd scene where he successfully slices through the logs as a super basic symbol of growth and a narrative pat on guts’ back that shouldn’t be there!

honestly just fucking everything about the portrayal of guts’ dream lol it just takes it at face value in a way the manga consistently never did and always undermined and critiqued, and it bugs the hell out of me.

guts is just drawn in a way that makes him look angry way too often and he often feels ooc to me bc of it. like he lacks a lot of the warmth he has in the manga imo

showing that griffith is awake when guts says “i’ll stay too” even tho in the manga those words are placed over a panel of him asleep for a reason like, ffs

lots of other random nitpicky details that only i give a fuck about because my opinions and feelings about the story are too strong lol. like not showing griffith’s face when he asks if guts thinks he’s cruel

oh huge one: moving the scene where the torturer rips off griffith’s behelit from about a day after he was imprisoned to right before his rescue. completely trivializes griffith’s torture because it still looks like he’s been in there for a day at most

why on earth did it end where it ended????????????? who’s bright idea was that? the perfect ending is skull knight riding tf out with guts and casca and femto not killing them, but then they also cut out skull knight’s first appearance so idfk man.

oh some downplaying of griffguts, like i can’t complain too much about this because it was still p homoerotic, but things like omitting guts assuming griffith wants to fuck him right before their first duel. boo.

ultimately at the end of the day as much as i do genuinely like the anime, it’s not telling quite the same story the manga was - the story it’s telling is more boring and basic. but because it sticks so close to the manga the good story still shines through? it just means there’s inconsistent tone choices and stuff, like the aforementioned grievances.

it’s like, they kept casca’s diatribe at guts line for line while she’s screaming that griffith needed him and a man can’t live on dreams alone, but they don’t extend that train of thought to guts going off to pursue his dream, while the manga does.

anyway despite that giant list of dislikes i still think the anime is pretty fantastic overall. i just also like, blame it for a lot of wrong fandom takes lol.

movie likes:

character designs! honestly imo everyone looked pretty great.

they played up the homoeroticism and i appreciate that

illustrating griffith being torn between guts and his dream through that lovely moment when he catches guts when he nearly falls off the stairs right before he catches charlotte, and in a more romantically suggestive way

the whole scene where griffith shows up at charlotte’s window thoroughly improved on the manga, so hats off there. loved how completely out of it he was to the point where he barely realized where he was and immediately turned to leave when charlotte was like ‘woah dude wtf,’ love that charlotte was the one to ask him to stay and then physically move his hand back to her tit, love how emphatically griffith was thinking about guts during that sex scene, etc. like it’s still not perfect, but it is a vast improvement.

griffith showing up in person after the hundred man fight was a nice touch

it was cool that they got a lot of the same english vas from the anime dub back, and they all did a gr8 job. like it’s a pretty good dub imo.

i liked that they moved ‘the crystalization of your last tear shed’ to after guts’ post-eclipse breakdown

compared to the anime at least gtsca was more low-key and chill rather than dramatically romantic. still don’t want it there, and still not as… unromantic as the manga, but i’ll take what i can get

the animation during griffith’s transformation into femto, yk that whole sequence, was cool

slan’s english voice was super sexy

ummmmm i feel like they conveyed the whole dreams are stupid theme, and guts’ decision to leave being a mistake, better than the anime? like i got the sense that the ova ppl recognized that was a theme, at least. i’d have to watch them again to really be sure of that tho

movie dislikes:

GRIFFITH’S. NARRATIVE.

like holy fuck they completely destroyed his character lmao

i cannot believe

no backstory! no tombstone of flame! no ‘do you think i’m cruel?’ THAT WAS THE REASON HE MADE THE SACRIFICE FFS HOW DO YOU SKIP IT????

no dead kid angst, gennon only in vague implication, no self harm - oh no wait we saw self inflicted scratches, they were just completely contextless and meaningless to the point where we could assume charlotte’s nails made them

no torture chamber monologue

no guts monologue in the tavern either for that matter

no rooftop scene

again barely the implication of guts’ childhood trauma, both the sexual abuse and the general parental abuse. one vague flashbacky nightmare doesn’t cut it, it’s the cornerstone of the story

like i get it, it’s a movie trilogy, you have to cut some things, but goddamn, cut out gtsca. trim the hundred man fight. add 20 minutes to the first ova and take the insanely long rape scene out of the third. trim down the whole eclipse sequence. don’t cut out like… the story. like they cut out SO MANY emotionally relevant scenes and kept so many much less relevant scenes, idek.

and like let’s be real here, they turned griffith from an immensely interesting and complex character into a 1 dimensional dude who is torn between a vaguely evil ambition and being in vaguely evil love with guts, just for the sake of streamlining the least interesting aspects of the story

they don’t even try to pretend otherwise lol, look at his fucking hilarious evil smile here

also while i’m looking at it, in general i think they failed at the whole eclipse sequence. looks, lighting, colour, build up of tension… there are a few minor improvements here and there (eg casca’s point of view shot of femto, femto telekinesising guts back a la the black swordsman arc which emphasizes his failure to act when he escapes), but overall it doesn’t work for me at all. like imo the anime has the exact same highs and lows as the manga, but while the ova avoids some lows it never reaches those highs.

they also had griffith overhear guts saying he wants to stay. i really don’t get why this happened twice lol, like… ok his face is kind of shadowed here but he’s still very clearly asleep? this is an important detail, guts’ interrupted words are even on that very panel, so why would you go out of your way to show that he’s awake and listening at that point.

the pacing sucked. 3rd movie was too long, 1st was too short, and they skipped waaaaaay too many significant scenes that should’ve been there as emotional beats

honestly the movies are pretty, they’re nicely fanservicey in ways, they capture some good subtleties and nuances at times, but they’re a husk of the story

oh did i mention the music during the eclipse rape? incredible.

also i am actually generally positive about the movies too despite what it seems like here lmao. i’ve watched them all like, 3 or more times and i find them v enjoyable.

i just have a way easier time listing nitpicky flaws than positives honestly. the flaws stand out to me, the virtues pass me by because i’m just enjoying them and not dwelling on them

and lbr here at the end of the day no adaption will ever really satisfy me unless i somehow find several million dollars lying around and make my own lol. and that would probably be a flop anyway.