#which makes this whole ordeal so much easier

[n3ongold3n]

Look. Sometimes you have to let your inner 12-year-old zoom into a picture and laugh. (OF calendar day 15)

[embrosegraves]

𝕎𝕠𝕦𝕝𝕕 𝕀𝕥 𝔹𝕖 𝕆𝕜𝕒𝕪?

Arthur Leclerc x Reader In which after the reader has an unwanted interaction, Reader’s 6-year-old daughter has a serious talk with Arthur “Would it be okay if I called you dad?”

Warnings/Notes: Google Translated French and Italian. unnamed ex-boyfriend.

You had never imagined ever becoming a teen mum. You hadn’t given any thought to getting pregnant with your boyfriend. There was no need to think about stuff like that, the two of you were only 16. That’s why you were so shocked to find out a month before you turned 17, that you would be having your first child. 

Of course, after you eventually got over the shock, you immediately told your boyfriend. H was less than pleased with the situation. He didn’t outright say that he didn’t want it, but the way he treated you afterwards made that pretty clear to you. He was not going to help you. You had sat him down the night before your birthday to talk about what you were going to do. That night, he said that didn’t want to be a parent. That he didn’t want to be your boyfriend any longer. 

Most people would become hysterical. Most people would start crying and begging for their partner to stay with them. That they could make it work. But not you. Your response to his words had stunned him. 

“If you don’t want to be with me, that’s fine. If you don’t want to be a father, that’s fine too. After today I don’t want you near me or my baby, so once they’re born I want you to sign your rights away.” You were stone-faced with anger when you spoke to him. “No matter what you say or do from here on out, I will have full custody of my child and you will have nothing to do with them. Am I clear?”

He looked almost angry at your words, but he gritted his teeth and agreed to your demands. That was the last night you ever saw him. Either his family had moved away, or he had suddenly stopped frequenting the places you used to go together but whatever the reason you were strangely satisfied that you never ran into him for the remainder of your surprise pregnancy. 

Your parents were your biggest supporters throughout the whole ordeal. You could still remember the day your parents found out you were pregnant. It was the day you yourself had found out. Your father had found you in the bathroom, sitting on the toilet lid in shock with tears streaming down your face. He rushed to you, worried out of his mind. Your father’s arms had wrapped around you protectively and your crying got louder as you tried to explain the news to him. 

Your mother had come up the stairs when she heard you sobbing hysterically, only to find you clutching to your father as if he had told you he was dying tomorrow. He never loosened his hold on you as he explained to your mother what the issue was. She was equal parts worried and elated. Your mother took no time to join you and your father in the embrace. It had taken you almost an hour to come to terms with what you were about to go through, but knowing that you had your parents’ support and assistance made it all that much easier to deal with. 

7 and a half months later, you had given birth to a daughter. That was the first and last day that your ex-boyfriend saw your daughter. You had texted him to come to hospital as you had the paperwork he needed to sign so that he could give his rights away. Being in no state to follow him and make sure that he signed what was necessary, your father had followed and stood opposite to him so he could make sure he wasn’t going to rip up the paperwork. 

At some point in your pregnancy, you had expressed to your parents that while he had agreed to sign them away, you were worried that he would try something when the day came. Your father said that he would need a witness in order for the papers to be legal anyway, so he would be there to make sure your ex couldn’t try anything nefarious. 

Despite countless nights sat with your parents on the couch in your living room, you still hadn’t come up with a name for your daughter. Your mother’s family hailed from France and your father’s family hailed from Italy, so you wanted something that had both ethnic backgrounds. 

As soon as you laid eyes on your baby, after hours of labour, you knew instantly what her name would be. 

Colette Vincenza L/n

You were always thankful that she was a well behaved baby, she had only really started acting like the stories you’d heard when she was teething. But once she had all her teeth, she was a kindhearted angel for you and your parents. That’s how she was, even as she continued growing. 

When Colette was just over a year old, you had met someone while going about your day in the French markets. The stroller was in front of you as you browsed the stalls. You had been so absorbed in your daughter that you had failed to notice someone walking the opposite direction and had accidentally bumped into them. Because of the impact, the man had spilled some of his hot drink in front of him, and consequently onto your daughter’s stroller. You quickly grabbed Colette out and started to sooth her, as she had been shocked and started to cry. Amidst you trying to sooth your daughter and double check that none of the hot liquid had fallen on her, the man had started apologising profusely. 

“It’s alright, really. I should have been more aware of the surroundings.” As you continued to rock Colette, you finally looked up at whoever you had bumped into. He was very handsome, looked to be around your age, and was clearly worried that he had unknowingly hurt the small baby with you. 

“No no, it’s my fault as well. I wasn’t paying attention at all. Please let me repay you, I would never forgive myself if I didn’t help you somehow.” He sounded so sincere you couldn’t help but take a bit of pity on him. 

“I promise you, you don’t need to do anything. But if it would make you feel better, and if you don’t have anywhere to be right now, you could tag along with me while I finish my shopping.” He didn’t hesitate to agree, feeling bad enough as it was. 

Noticing that Colette had calmed down now, you ran your hand down the back of her head and spoke to her as you put her back in the stroller. 

“Tu vas bien maintenant Lette, Maman t'a eu.” (You’re okay now, Lette. Mummy’s got you.)

“Tu parles français?”  (You speak French?)

You looked at him as you resumed walking through the markets. “Oui. En plus de l'italien et de l'anglais, j'ai parlé français toute ma vie.” (Yes. Along with Italian and English, I have spoken French all my life)

“Abbiamo già due cose in comune.” His smile when he spoke in his mother tongue was gorgeous, but it had nothing on his smile when he spoke Italian. You couldn’t help but grin back at him. (We already have two things in common)

You continued talking with each other and by the end of the day you had learnt two very important things about him. His name was Arthur Leclerc and he was a Formula 2 racing driver for Ferarri’s Driver Academy. Eventually you had noticed it was getting late so you exchanged phone numbers to keep in touch and went back home. 

That was almost five years ago and since then, Arthur had taken you on many dates, some alone and some with your daughter. He was there for almost all of her firsts. Her first words, first steps and even her first loose tooth. Eventually he asked if you wanted to be his girlfriend and, though you had hesitated at first, you had become official with him. 

Arthur was over at your place playing with Colette when you heard someone knock on your door. You looked at each other confused as you weren’t expecting anyone tonight, your parents would’ve called ahead if they were going to come by. Getting up from your seat, you gave Arthur a kiss and kissed Colette’s head before going to answer your door. 

The person standing behind it was very impatient as they kept knocking on the hardwood door. 

“Arrivo subito, calmati.” You called as you unlocked the door and opened it. Seeing who it was, you almost closed it straight away if he hadn’t put his foot in the way to stop it. (I’ll be right there, calm down.)

“Cosa stai facendo qui?” You tried to keep your anger in check as you looked at him expectantly. (What are you doing here?)

“You know I don’t speak Spanish.” 

“C'était italien, connard. What do you want?” Your patience was wearing thin. (That was Italian, asshole)

“I think you already know.” The bastard had the nerve to smirk when he spoke to you. 

“You have no right to her. You signed those damn papers. Even if you hadn’t, you had six years to see her. Why now?” 

“I was in the area. Thought I’d stop by.” 

“Well, you stopped. Now you can go.” You kicked his foot none too gently and closed the door before he could continue. Locking the door, you turned and walked back to where your boyfriend and daughter were still playing. Taking note of the time, you gently ushered Colette to bed before you and Arthur also began getting ready to sleep. 

There was no need to tell Arthur who was at your door, as your house was very open plan so he could hear the entire conversation from the living room. As you both laid down, he held you close and comforted you until you both fell asleep. 

The next morning, you woke up before Arthur, seeing as you had to begin working. You were glad that you had started a home business because it meant that you didn’t need to make the commute to work through morning traffic. All you had to do was get dressed and sit down in your home office so you could start answering emails from customers about their packages arriving damaged. 

Arthur had slept in a little that morning meaning that he was awoken by Colette climbing into your bed to lay next to him. When she saw he was awake, she nuzzled her face into his neck and he wrapped his arms around her gently.

“Can I talk to you?” She asked him. “Without Maman?” 

Arthur was a little worried about what she wanted to talk about, as she hadn’t ever come to speak with him alone. 

“But of course, Petit, what’s wrong?” 

“I heard Maman talking to that man yesterday, and I know I’m still little and that Maman doesn’t talk about my Papa, but I know that was him.” 

Arthur felt entirely out of his depth. He knew Colette was smart, he praised her constantly for it, but he hadn’t expected her to understand what happened the night before. 

“Did it bother you that he came here?” Arthur was ready to hunt him down and tell him to never even think about you or Colette ever again. 

“Not really. I know he helped Maman make me, but he’s not my real papa. It just made me think about something.” 

“And what did you think about, Petit?” 

“Would it be okay if I called you Papa? Je vois comment Grand-père rend Grand-mère heureuse, et tu rends Maman heureuse, alors je voulais te demander.” (I see how Grandpa makes Grandma happy, and you make Mummy happy, so I wanted to ask.)

Because the walls inside your home were very thin, you could hear the entire conversation between your daughter and your boyfriend. You were a little shocked at what she said but your heart swelled with more love than you thought possible when Arthur replied. 

“I would be honoured for you to call me Papa.”

hehehehehehe I love this so much

The poll was VERY clear that people wanted this asap so here it is!

I hope you enjoyed reading!

likes, replies and reblogs are always appreciated <3

[lonesome-sometimes]

your favourite centrefold

I was bored and wrote this with nasty cherry on repeat do not take any of this seriously anyway

you were aware of the types of men that came to drink in bars like this one at this time of night - more specifically the types of men you simply couldn’t stop coming back for.

matty healy x female reader

content warnings: unprotected sex, dom matty, semi-public sex, cheating, alcohol, face and pussy slapping, cum play, use of “sir” and daddy kink, degradation, manhandling, age gap, rough sex, thigh fucking, slut shaming (??)

minors do not interact!

you were aware of the types of men that came to drink in bars like this one at this time of night - more specifically the types of men you simply couldn’t stop coming back for.

you pull your dress up a little higher, leaving nothing to the imagination as you move further into the room knowing it all too well by now. asking the bartender for your usual poison of choice, you lean up against the dark wood searching for your weekly fill.

It was a tuesday night, nothing too special but you were bored and felt the need to start your weekend early. fortunately for you that meant the place was close to being empty while also meaning your task was much easier - especially when you see him.

you had never seen him before - you would remember every inch of him if you had. sitting at the bar nursing what seemed to be a whiskey was probably the hottest man you had ever seen in your life. the wife beater he was wearing hugged his shoulders and back so perfectly, showing off the number of tattoos covering his arms, as well as grey curls that were mostly slicked back. the few that refused to be tamed making home on his forehead instead.

he was perfect and you needed him.

you finish your drink as fast as possible before making your way towards him. you notice the cigarettes and lighter sitting next to his drink, as well as his open wallet with a picture of what seems to be him and his girlfriend? wife? making the situation so much more fun and him more attractive than you found him before. he finally notices you as you slide up next to him, bracketing him in between yourself and the wall. he gives you a quick glance over, the wetness between your legs pooling by the second as he seems somewhat unimpressed.

you take him in, noticing the light stubble dusting his cheeks while trying not to drown in his scent - a mix of faint cologne, cigarettes and what is definitely another woman’s perfume - before mustering up the courage to actually speak.

“hey.”

he actually fucking smirks at you, seeming to find the situation amusing as he takes a sip of his drink and sighs dramatically. “so, you’re the girl my mate george warned me about, hm?”

your eyes widen, not expecting that to come out of his mouth. endless faces began flowing through your mind until you remember the one he’s talking about. george. he had been both sweet and cruel when you needed him to be, tall and handsome and he had fucked you so, so well in the backseat of his car after you sucked his cock for him in the toilets. how could you forget about george?

If you ever went back in for a second helping, he would be the absolute top of your list. however you had made a promise to yourself when you first started this whole ordeal that you would never fuck the same man twice, and you were determined to keep it that way.

“I’m afraid I don’t know who you’re talking about?” you say sweetly, playing innocent and cocking your head to the side, twirling your curls around your fingertips which only had the man shaking his head in fake annoyance.

“unlucky for you, I don’t fuck pretty girls that whore themselves out in dive bars. take your act elsewhere, I’m not interested.”

well, that was new.

you pout, suddenly not liking the surprise of a challenge. usually you had the men that came here drooling after you, unable to resist the temptation of a sweet, young thing begging to be fucked by a much older man in such a degrading way. you swallow your pride, accepting the little game he’s started.

“who said anything about fucking? maybe I just wanted to talk to you. It seems like you are the one with an idea, sir.” you knew adding on the title at the end was asking for trouble but you didn’t really care at this point, again feeling defeated when he doesn’t even flinch. “If you’re offering though, I could be so very good for you. did george tell you how good I am at sucking cock?”

“I thought you didn’t know who that was? good girls don’t lie, princess. especially not to dirty, old men like me.” he warns, slowly losing his patience. you keep up this game of back and forth for a little longer, rubbing his shoulder and smiling coyly. you quickly learn that his name is Matty, going dumb when you eventually notice what is definitely a wedding ring shining proudly on his hand. you turn to batting your eyelashes and giggling a little too loudly just like you knew how instead in hopes it would do something, anything at this point. fuck, he was hot.

his grip on his glass tightens before he finishes the last of the liquor, slamming it down on the top and startling you out of your daydream in the process. he turns back to you, becoming increasingly annoyed as well as desperate the longer you stare back. “sweet, dumb thing. didn’t your daddy ever tell you not to talk to strangers?”

“no, you never taught me anything like that, daddy.”

that seems to be what sends him over the edge as he stands up, grabbing your wrist tightly as he pulls you outside. you couldn’t contain your giggles of excitement, high on the adrenaline from the alcohol and the fact that you had actually won and were promised an actual good fuck. he continues to drag you down the side of the building, crowding you up against the wall of the dimly lit alleyway that you had become far too familiar with.

he pushes the hem of your baby pink dress up your thighs, revealing the angelic white lace that barely covers your wetness. he slaps over your covered clit, holding your jaw firmly in place as he does so. “needy little girl, you think this is fun and games, don’t you? all I wanted was to come here for a little quiet drink, to get away from my annoying fucking wife, but here I am stuck putting girls like you in their place.”

you whine loudly as he pushes your panties down your legs, letting them gather down at your heels. you paint the perfect image of a whore and you wouldn’t have it any other way as long as he kept touching you. he roughly spins you around so your face is pressed up against the brick, melting against his hold when you finally hear the zip of his pants.

“what are you smiling at, huh? what’s got you so happy?” he spits, keeping your head in place as he begins to stroke his cock till he’s fully hard which doesn’t take long. you were a little disappointed that you weren’t going to get to see it or feel it on your tongue, but you couldn’t be too upset given the circumstances. you totally forgot he had asked you a question though until he’s slapping your face, cheek blooming under his blow as he demands an answer from you and fast.

you blink a couple times before the brain fog subsides for a second, allowing you to form a somewhat coherent sentence. “m just so happy you’re gonna fuck me, daddy. can’t wait to be full of your cock.” you answer sincerely, anticipating the feel of his length entering you at any second and pushing your ass out in hopes it’ll speed things up.

except it never comes.

Instead, you hear that dark chuckle from earlier come back from behind you. confused, you try and spread your legs but he forcefully closes them again, keeping a hand tightly on the small of your back and holdind you in place. you gasp when you eventually feel the head of his leaking cock press between the gap inbetween your thighs, a drop of precum falling and trickling down them as you realise what is actually happening.

“I thought I told you I wasn’t going to fuck you, or are you just too cock hungry to remember, darling? who knows where this slutty fucking pussy has been?” he reaches round and slaps your clit again, causing you to cry out at the harsh treatment. “that doesn’t mean you get to spend your time teasing me, getting me hard and aching without doing anything about it.” and with that, he pushes his cock directly between your thighs.

he groans loudly, going slow as he adjusts to the tightness of your legs squeezing his cock just right. you whimper as he picks up his pace, slowly realising you weren’t about to get a good fuck at all. you sick basterd.

he uses you like a sex doll, fucking your thighs fast and needily until you can sense he’s about to cum due to the fact he’s the most vocal he’s been the whole night. “such a fucking whore, yeah? letting me use you however I want? getting fucked in some back alley behind a dirty old bar. you should be so proud of yourself honey. I know I am, fuck.”

your cunt clenches at his words, wetness dripping down towards where his cock meets the plush of your thighs. when he feels himself getting close, he quickly pulls out from between them and paints his cum across the backs and the top of your ass, stroking himself though it while reaching around to grope at your tits through the thin material of your dress

when he’s done, he gathers his cum between his fingers and shoves them directly into your neglected cunt, pushing the cum deeper and deeper and almost getting you embarrassingly close to the edge. he then quickly pushes his digits past your pretty pink lips, letting you suck the taste of you both from them as the coolness of his wedding ring keeps pressing against your cheek. “here you go, baby. I’m so kind and thoughtful, how about you thank me for not using your cum dump hm? that’ll give you some time to tighten up before some other perverted, married man gets to fuck you.”

you smile, half dazed and exhausted as the pleasure in your core begins to subside and you’re able to think more clearly. you turn your head, giggling when you realise something that he doesn’t know. you sigh sweetly as you always do, giving him your best doe eyes before saying, “thank you for not fucking my cunt, daddy.”

he never actually fucked you, or even made you cum for that matter, meaning you never broke your only rule. as you lean down to pull up your panties and pull down your dress, you secretly hope that the married man with curly hair decides to come back very soon.

[quinn-pop]

let’s do some autistic meta knight headcanons!! over explaining my interpretation of meta knight yet again wooooo

this orb has NO idea how to talk to people!!! outside of work anyway. a lot of this is partially due to upbringing (suppressing his emotions all the time) but he does not know how to express emotions, like…at all.

this goes into a few things

1. yeah talking is hard. even after figuring out what he wants to communicate he will struggle. conversation can be so overwhelming, especially under pressure. he will need time lol

2. because of that, forming connections is hard. i really don’t think meta is much for shallow relationships, and certainly not early in the timeline. which also means he has very little experience with friendship. so a lot of the relationships he did have went kinda neglected, and issues that probably could’ve been worked on by talking became…*cough romk* escalated.

3. honestly i wouldn’t be surprised if meta convinced himself he couldn’t feel emotion (anymore) until like. katam-ish. he tried very hard lol

vulnerability is terrifying. (though this gesture here is also just comforting, like his little cape cocoon thing he does.)

unmasking—yeah im taking the mask thing very literally here—is a big deal and a very slow process for mk. i’m sure he has a lot of feelings on that lol. it served as a way to ensure no one could ever, y’know, see him.

i can’t say i think he’d ever fully ditch it—there’s always gonna be some days that are more stressful than others and if having it could help him get through it, it just makes sense. mainly when working.

it really is about vulnerability. granted, i don’t think he has the most expressive face (in my head every astral just tends to stare at things) but i doubt he has much control over it. can’t fake a smile but also can’t hide it. probably blushes easy because yeah, astrals; just look at kirby’s face.

just the idea that someone might be able to read his expression and know what he’s feeling before he’s ready for them to (or even understands it himself…) yeah he doesn’t want that

but emotional turmoil aside, i think his mask also hides a lot of his stims

remember that whole “suppressing your feelings” thing? yeah turns out that ignoring half your instincts isn’t a good idea. so in true meta knight style, he tries to stim as subtly as possible

1. he has the least control over his wings, so they will flick and twitch on their own. they’re usually a good indicator of how he’s feeling, not unlike the body language usually seen in cat ears and tails lol. flapping is also an extension of this of course, though he probably suppresses it more.

2. this also effects when he takes his wings out. pretty much every time he’s excited or nervous it just happens. kinda makes me wonder if his wing cape ordeal might also go into the suppression thing… (i’d say yes, but using a cape is also very comforting so it’s not necessarily a bad thing)

3. going back to the mask thing; he stims a lot underneath it. think like biting or pursing your lips. he bites his tongue and clicks his mouth. that sort of thing. his mask also makes it harder to notice that he is constantly sighing, humming, grumbling…all that

one nice thing about the mask though is that it helps a little bit with lights!!! woo

(look at him and his magically floating glasses)

sensory stuff—i think he’s mostly bothered by light and sound. maybe a bit of texture. he’s pretty sensory avoidant and perfectly happy standing off to the side not touching anything.

the one exception to this is physical affection, which is, despite all of this, most of how he shows affection. it’s a lot easier to hug someone than to try to explain your feelings for them, after all.

i think he would like pressure though. so that’s probably part of it. and i’m pretty sure there’s some connection in here to fighting (dang, is that the only way he knows how to get his energy out?)

anyway, pretty much all of this is in contrast to kirby, who i would gladly nominate as the champion of Doing Whatever He Wants. he might pick up a few bad habits, but he will never mask the way meta knight does. he might not understand how he feels, but he’s in tune enough to express it…usually.

this is a very good thing for meta because it helps him to do the same thing. kirby’s so energetic, it’s hard to not want to stim with him. it reminds meta to be kinder to himself and explore his own emotions. he can also help kirby understand themselves, so this connection is very important.

yeah, at the end of the day, everything kinda just boils down to kirby and mk as parallels

this is the conclusion i promise

to me, meta’s arc is about growing stronger by growing kinder, and this is mostly by learning to be kind to himself. letting himself be a person again, loving and understanding other people, and eventually, letting go of all the expectations placed on him and doing the things he’s always wanted to do…

autism headcanons are fun for me because it’s cathartic to write, but at the same time, it just makes sense in this sort of narrative. meta is, to me, inseparable from these things. and so is kirby! that’s a dynamic that’s a lot of fun to play with, and it’s at the heart of my kirby interpretation.

if you actually read all this WOW thank you

[matan4il]

Buddie 610 meta

Holy shit, this ep.

Okay, what shall we start with? Maybe with what 911 itself starts, lots of foreshadowing. At the beach call, we have Eddie looking at Buck and replying to him (about the lightning), “I really hope it doesn’t strike twice, though.” Which, of course we know it will. But the foreshadowing continues, as Buck talks to Omar about unexpected things in life coming out of nowhere. That suggests we need to pay extra attention to other elements in this ep that might act as foreshadowing for later events along 6b. ~~

That kind of connects to me with Buck being closely tied to Ely, the pregnant lady (he saves the day there twice, first by realizing the oil is dripping and if they use the saw, it might prove fatal, then by helping Bobby with the baby). First off, it made me chuckle when we learned that, despite being driven to the hospital by a man, he’s actually not her partner. 911 made sure we knew Ely has a wife, and that she has another kid with her. Is it a coincidence when Buck, who practically has a husband and a kid with him already, is the main firefighter taking care of her? Maybe, but it still amused me. What really made me take note is when he told her not to push, trying to stall her childbirth, and she replied that it doesn’t depend on her. That made me wonder if perhaps this is also in a way foreshadowing what we might end up seeing with the sperm donation storyline. I’m not sure, I can’t be, but I was not surprised to see that storyline brought up later in the ep. ~~

In general, this ep’s title, “In a Flash,” might seem to refer to the lightning storm the team experiences, but the real tempest is the havoc our families can wreak on us, tied to the unexpected nature change can sometimes take on. Chim’s dad suddenly shows up, raining on his parade. Albert suddenly thinks Chim should give their dad a chance to be Jee Yun’s grandpa, but decides against giving his brother a warning. The Buckley parents are suddenly making an effort, yet leaving everyone suspicious and unnerved. Albert suddenly leaks Buck’s sperm donation to everyone and unleashes hell between the in-laws. Denny’s changes, probably influenced by getting in touch with his dad, come as a surprise to Hen. And of course, at the climax of the ep, Bobby as the unofficial adoptive father of Buck might lose his son in a flash. The whole ep is filled with these parallels of abrupt familial disquiet, especially in relation to dads, on all 118 fronts. And as Buck deals with maybe the biggest of these questions, because he doesn’t even yet know what he wants for himself and how does the life he helped create (but only as a donor) fit into that, it’s no wonder his life ends up hanging literally in the balance. ~~

One of the most painful things in this ep for me was seeing how much Buck’s parents are willing to accept him as a donor, because not for a second do they think he can be a father. That would be the natural conclusion from him looking at a sonogram on his phone, but his parents find it easier to believe their daughter is pregnant again than to think Buck would be a dad (ironic, because he already is one. Just not to the baby in the sonogram). It reminded me of how Eddie’s parents also didn’t believe in his ability to be a dad, and actively petitioned to have Chris taken from him to be raised by them in 315. It amazes me every time anew just how much Buddie are compatible, because their stories parallel so much that they can understand each other in ways most other people can’t. ~~

And it gets to me that this whole episode also insists on reminding us how good Buck is with kids, first with the ones on the beach, calming them down and answering their questions to help them make sense of the whole ordeal. Then with Ely’s baby, a callback to how we saw him with the pipe baby in 101. It connects to him looking at the baby sonogram, all excited, once again acting so much like an expectant dad would (parallel to him and the firefighter onesie in 609), when we know he’s not actually going to be that baby’s father. It very much does feel like 911 is signaling to us Buck has some realizations coming his way in this context. ~~

Speaking of the kids on the beach, Buck telling the boy he wants to fix everything, then adding that Buck gets it, had me screaming into my fists, because hey, remember who said that to Buck? That’s right, his Eddie, back in 504. A reminder of how much Eddie sees Buck, accepts him and allows him to be himself, enabling Buck in turn to reflect that back to that kid. Of course, in the context of the sperm donation, Buck’s tendency made him want to help “fix” things for Connor and Kameron, and we might learn in 6b that Buck comes to realize he sometimes lets this tendency take him to places that aren’t actually good for him, without fully considering the consequences, and then hopefully, he’ll get to find a way to balance this, to be himself, but not derailed from his life goals by this part of himself. ~~

At the same time that the ep shows us how good Buck is with kids, it also serves to remind us of the one kid that we’ve seen him co-parent all along, the one who has always demonstrated what a good, loving dad Buck is, Christopher. Yes, when we see Buck working on his cooking with Bobby, it’s a part of the many parallels revolving around dads in this ep, so Buck and Bobby’s r/s is the immediate focus, but at the same time, we know who Buck is learning this FOR. Lazania kitchen scene from 601, anyone? Oh, but the best part? It’s when Buck tells Bobby, “Something’s missing.” He can’t quite put the finger on what, but he knows something in his domesticity isn’t fully there. I wonder what, Buck... And this is again in an ep full of foreshadowing! ~~

It may seem like a minor thing, but remember how in my past meta, I was more or less losing it over the many times Buck and Eddie did rope rescues together as their own team within the 118 team, even having their assigned roles where Eddie connects Buck to the line and then becomes an anchor himself to keep Buck safe, to the point where I wrote a smut fic involving this very meaningful act? Yeah, so imagine me seeing that the most intense Buddie call we’ve had since the end of 413 starts with them doing this subtextually intimate thing, Eddie hooking Buck up to the rope, becoming his literal life line, and even teasingly calling him “cowboy” while at it. No, I was not breathing for a full minute at least. ~~

But since I brought up the shooting in 413, can we talk about the insanity of the parallels? Take the meaningful staring once disaster strikes. Back in s4, it was mutual, right before Eddie collapsed. In 610, Buck is unconscious, so you wouldn’t think they could stare at each other at this moment, right? Plus, back in 413, it was just the two of them present at the scene out of the 118, the other members of the team weren’t there. The lightning strike seems a lot less intimate in comparison... But in this ep, the camera plays a role in recreating that same dynamic, singling out the connection between Buddie. Because when Buck is hit by lightning, we get shots of every 118 member looking up and being terrified of what just happened to their friend.

The only exception in terms of this shot? Eddie. He’s the only one that isn’t being filmed from the side as he looks up, he’s filmed from above as he looks straight into the camera. Essentially, the shot recreates Buck’s POV for Eddie, and for him alone. It shows us what Buck would see and how he would stare down, back at Eddie, if he only could. The fact that the camera has to do this instead of Buck himself further emphasizes the horror of Buck being unconscious, but the choice to do this only with Eddie highlights their connection and makes it clear that Buddie’s bond IS different to what the other team members have with Buck, no matter how close the others are to him or how much they love him. What’s insane is that DESPITE having all of the 118 there, there is still a bubble within this whole situation that is Buddie and Buddie’s alone, even as Buck himself is unconscious. It’s no wonder Eddie jumps up that electrocuted ladder without even thinking about it, it’s no wonder no one even tries to stop him or warn him of the danger in that. That is a man on a mission to save the other half of him, and the show tells us that in more than one way.

That’s gonna continue through Eddie’s attempts (and eventual success) in getting Buck away from immediate danger, as well as when the team tries but then fails to revive Buck, because Eddie will be the one to push past Bobby to see Buck, and Eddie will be the one Bobby has to keep in line by assigning him driving duty, maybe the most important thing anyone can do for Buck once all the medical assistance they can give him in the field is of no further use. ~~

One more thing regarding the comparison with the shooting arc in s4, as well as talking about camera shots, is that we get to see the difference between a platonic friend resuscitating his teammate and a man desperately trying to keep the love of his life alive. If you look at Chim doing compressions on Buck, he’s giving it his all, because he DOES love Buck, Chim’s doing his best for his friend and brother in law. But the shot is not an intimate one, we don’t get close ups, we don’t get to focus on the eyes and see the frantic look of a man who knows he CAN’T fail, we don’t see the intimate touch of a hand laying a gauze on an exposed chest and trying to keep this treasured body together, we do get “come on, Buck,” but we don’t get personal speech, begging the other man to hold on and just “stay with me.” While back in 414, in the ambulance, we had ALL of those as Buck, almost on the verge of losing his sanity, fought for Eddie’s life. ~~

Lastly, I’ve made in the past a gifset of times when we’ve seen Buck screaming Eddie’s name in horror at the face of danger (including in 413), and I love that we can finally add to that Eddie doing the same thing for Buck. But I think it’s particularly meaningful that it happened not as a matter of when Buck would be in danger, but rather it was a question of just how significant Buck had to become to Eddie for this former, highly decorated soldier to go from the stoic man he was in 218 to what we see in 610 (as seen in my latest weekly gifset). Because Eddie WAS incredibly worried back in the s2 finale. He was gritting his teeth, you can see the tension on his face, and the second it was safe, he sprang to Buck’s side. Eddie also held on to him while everyone else was lifting the truck (even though Chim, as a medic, would have been a more natural choice to hold on to Buck, while Eddie the firefighter helps lift engine 118). And Eddie wouldn’t even let go of Buck’s hand on the way to the truck. HE WAS DISTRAUGHT. But the man who kept his facade up in the hospital after Shannon, his wife and mother of his son, died just one ep earlier, did the same thing with Buck. What I find so telling is that he can no longer do that by 610. Buck has become such an integral part of his life, of his family, of who Eddie is as a person and how he deals with life, way more than even Shannon managed to be. And that’s why Eddie loses it, confirming what we’ve known for a while: Buddie are life partners. ~~

I now have direct links to my weekly meta posts, my Buddie gifs and more of my content in my pinned post. Loads of love to @whosoldherout​​ for making unbelievable gifs for my very unique requests. You’re a star! Tag list will follow in the reblog. Thank you in advance for any reblog and like! I’m operating on 1.5 hours of sleep to get this posted ASAP, so I really appreciate any and all encouragement to keep doing this. xoxox

[exo-raskreia]

Thoughts on 261 & More Utahime Potential Ideas

WARNING: MAX COPIUM + MANGA SPOILERS

Ok, I know everyone's been losing it lately. I tried to keep calm when the 261 leaks dropped. I'm very disappointed & shocked as well (Gojo... ｡ﾟ( ﾟஇ‸இﾟ+)ﾟ｡ ).

However... The latest developments have also caused me to ascend to a higher state in Delulu Land & this is my hardest cope yet.

First off, it seems to be implied that Gojo chose to become a monster by killing the higher-ups, thinking that he was finally going as far as (stooping as low as) Geto did for his ideals, but didn't want his students to see. And yet, they wanted to be there with him, not wanting him to carry the burden of becoming a monster alone—they would too by going through with the Horrible Plan™. So, miss me with that "Gojo wanted to die & reunite with his best friend" nonsense. There is too much at stake here & Gojo gave his all for his students and allies. Yuuta is currently risking his life too, for his friends & to carry Gojo's burden (let's go a little easier on him, guys, & Maki too, since she was against this plan; mainly for Yuuta, but still. Hakari looked disturbed too...).

This whole thing's a mess, though. What is Gege doing? Why hype up Gojo only to reveal such a horrible plan? Is he playing with us 'cause he's a sadistic freak or could it be there's something more to it? That he's setting up for something else? I've mentioned this before, but could it be that Gojo is truly meant to return at a crucial moment? When all hope seems lost? As it did feel a bit random to reappear during Todo & Yuuji's fight...

WARNING: Harry Potter spoilers!

Nitta must've stopped any further bleeding from Gojo's brain & Yuuta's body, so he, Shoko, & Amai must be keeping them healed & safe. I wonder if they're keeping an eye on the possibility Gojo could regain consciousness. I once mentioned this in a Tweet, but could Gojo be in a similar state as Harry Potter after getting hit by the Killing Curse, seemingly "dead" but actually in a state of limbo where he had met Dumbledore's soul in a place resembling King's Cross Station?

In Gojo's case, he's at an airport where he met his dead comrades (whether it's actually them or just Gojo dreaming, is uncertain; if he is dreaming, then wouldn't that mean he's still alive?). He's given a choice to metaphorically "board a plane" north or south, to return as someone new or to stay as he is. In the Buddhist-inspired JJK verse, north could mean enlightenment, so will Gojo choose that path, as many have theorized? It's uncertain if going north means choosing to live and/or ascending to a higher state (godhood), & if going south means straight up dying/reincarnating or simply returning to his misunderstood self, but I hope Gojo chooses whichever is best for his return. One that will possibly make him stronger but finally gaining a new perspective that will break the barrier between himself & others? Or maybe weaker but finally able to fight alongside the others (especially if he makes a Binding Vow)?

As such, Gojo's body was healed by both Shoko & Yuuta, & since his head had remained intact & on his body throughout the whole ordeal—which is required for RCT to work—could it be he could regain consciousness at some point with his own RCT? Yuuta only has 5 minutes to fight in Gojo's body but it's unknown what would happen once they are up. There are the risks he could die or stay stuck in Gojo's body, both of which are atrocious. However, in order to survive, could Ui Ui do a soul swap before the 5min mark, if/when Gojo revives? Or could it be both souls would automatically switch back? Either way, if the danger is out of the way, would Shoko then be able to perform the operation again to switch their brains back?

However, do the sorcerers really think they can defeat Sukuna in less than 5mins before Yuuta's back to the operating table? This is so convoluted, so I'm not sure how this would go. 😥

Anyway, I've been delulu theorizing Utahime could really have an important role in the Shinjuku Showdown arc here and here for a while now, whether it's to help in Gojo's revival or something else. Even with this latest shocking development, my ideas still stand.

Once again, neither Utahime, Ijichi, & Gakuganji were present at the strategy meetings in the flashbacks, especially the one with the Horrible Plan™. While Gojo wasn't present either for said plan, he was informed of it later & he commented he didn't intend to lose, so he didn't really care what would happen to his corpse anyway. This could mean that Utahime & the others were later informed too but at that point, it may have been too late to stop it. Maybe that's why Utahime had that somber expression in chapter 222. She knew what could happen and DID NOT agree with it, so while everyone was cheering Gojo on with happy expressions, she wasn't. I wonder if she had expressed her disagreement to Gojo right before meeting up with the others or something, as this other panel still makes me curious.

Gege didn't have to include her here but he did. She looks nervous... I once made a silly post on both GojoHime panels in chapter 222 here.

Anyway, Ijichi wasn't even present which is kind of strange while Gakuganji is typically so serious anyway.

At this point, one's inclined to believe that maybe they really were up to something else. It's too suspicious and obvious that these 4 were not a part of any of the important strategy meetings with the other sorcerers. It seems deliberate on Gege's part. Which is why these new delulu ideas come into play.

MAX COPIUM FROM THIS POINT ON.

Shoko has shocked us all with her very blasé attitude about the Horrible Plan™, that even Gojo said he was hurt annoyed by it. Either she was bottling it all up (she really did seem worried during the battle...), fully trusted Gojo in not losing (but she should've assured him?), or maybe, just maybe, there's a tiny possibility that she's hiding something. Could she have another plan?

Whether she does or not, Shoko is not part of my delulu ideas this time. I'm done. I had mostly brought her up before because of the possibilities & how much others hyped her up for it, but my delusions have always mainly revolved around Utahime. Shoko thankfully did her part already by helping heal Gojo's body & now it's Utahime's turn to take care of the rest.

Sure, Gojo could return on his own through a Binding Vow and/or his own RCT that should be working again, but as I brought up before in my first aforementioned delulu post, what if Utahime boosts his RCT to quicken and strengthen it? Nice and simple, right?

Or, what if Utahime's singing will finally come into play? As I also mentioned before, what if Gojo can hear her in the limbo & will be guided back by her voice? Like the luring of a siren? Will she call him by (first) name? Shrine maidens can summon spirits & gods, so if that applies to the JJK verse, could Utahime perform a ritual to reach & summon Gojo's soul? Especially if he chooses enlightenment? Now, I would hope this wouldn't be a temporary thing...like he returns to help one last time before departing to the heavens in a godhood state or something. Oh, Gege, u better not...

What if her singing does have healing abilities? But even more crazily, what if they're not physical, but spiritual? Could Utahime restore both Gojo's & Yuuta's souls to their bodies? Could she help Yuuta's soul remain safe once the 5mins are up?

For all this to happen, Utahime would have to be in the medical room. Where is she currently? Is she on her way? Is she still out on the battlefield possibly boosting the remaining sorcerers (well, hardly anyone left, tbh)? If she's headed to the medical room with the intent to help Gojo, I imagine it'd shock Shoko & the others. Would they know what she intends or not? Would they think it's possible? Would they try to stop her?

This is super insane & bordering on headcanon (lol, I warned you), but wouldn't it be amazing if she could have possibly managed to achieve Domain Expansion during her long absence in the manga post-Shibuya? What if it was kept a secret from all? What if as soon as Gojo laid his Six Eyes on her after his unsealing, he knew? What if that's one of the things they were cultivating, planning around, during the time-skip? Could it have offensive abilities involving her voice, like a siren? Like maybe she can make the enemy do her bidding or de-buff them? What if it's the opposite & instead has healing/buffing abilities? Any ally inside it would be in a state of max HP? Now, whether she would use it to actually heal Gojo or in combat, who knows.

I once read a wonderful one-shot fic in which Utahime achieved DE by finally accepting everything about herself, which included her suppressed feelings for Gojo. I know it's fully delulu but do we really know Utahime's full abilities? How is she a Semi-Grade 1 sorcerer if she can only buff (unless her CT is seen as good enough to warrant the rank)? Come on, Gege, stop wasting her character potential.

Remember that Sukuna still hasn't been taught about love? Based on Yorozu's version of it, his idea of love is to become vulnerable enough to connect with others & not feel lonely anymore by being defeated in battle; basically, get humbled, lol. He thought only Gojo could teach him how to overcome the barrier between himself & others deemed weak. But how would that be now, if Gojo's possibly in a state of limbo? (Is it another hint to his return?) The only other people that could possibly teach Sukuna are pure-hearted souls like Yuuji or Yuuta, the latter whom has also experienced romantic love. However, Yuuta just "discarded" his humanity by choosing to become a "monster", so Sukuna may throw that in his face. Taunt him & the other sorcerers for going against their ideals to defeat him.

What if it's not one person, but multiple that will teach Sukuna? Nakama power, y'all. What if Utahime could be one of those? She's the most pure-hearted sorcerer besides Yuuji. Her love for her students, helping Gojo whenever he asked despite her "hate" towards him, her not getting that Mei was asking for money to promote her in S2E1 (and Mei didn't even push it as if knowing Uta would never agree), her not being informed about the assassination attempt on Yuuji at the Goodwill Event by Gakuganji & her students (not even by Gojo, who suspected something), & she wasn't even present at the meeting for the brain switch plan...

It's like Utahime is being protected and/or her comrades know that she would never support all this immorality. She's a selfless person, often seen risking her life or attempting to for others in her little screentime. Not to mention that her CT is literally named after a love song. If romantic love were to be addressed at all in this fight, besides Yuuta, could Utahime play a role there? Her giving her all to help Gojo while Gojo had done his all to protect her during his fight with Sukuna? (You know, since it's still too sus that Sukuna doesn't know about her CT... Gojo entrusted Ijichi, the man he trusts the most, to keep Utahime safe for her ritual...)

I've talked about this image before but I may have discovered something interesting: the Angel Number 3612. Gojo's revival could be on the horizon... I elaborate in this post.

(Shoutout to some other amazing theories out there on Utahime's potential in helping Gojo. As a shrine maiden here & here, or even as Buddha's wife here, for example. These are seeming more & more plausible to me now, since Gege mercilessly threw a wrench at us in 261... I'm coping hard).

Having a plan unrelated to Gojo's revival is still possible. One thing I've seen thrown around is what if Utahime & team will try to stop the merger? If we go with the idea that Utahime has healing abilities for spirits, could it be that she could help restore Tengen's soul or something, like at least bring her back to her previous state before Kenjaku took over? Help her regain consciousness if she lost it? (FULL DELULU, I KNOW).

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Utahime's only a minor side character, I know that 😮‍💨. Her having such an important role & any other formidable abilities may seem like a reach, but at this point, I need something to hold onto. I don't wanna lose hope like several others have. It's hard but... As long as it's not 100% confirmed that Gojo's dead, then there is still hope... There's still so much we don't know... His choice of north & south is still up in the air, his answer to Geto's old question, his reaction to everything that happened during his time in the Prism Realm, what happened in the Prism Realm, what he did during the one month time-skip... Gege, come on...

The fact Sukuna still doesn't know about Utahime's CT is something I can hold onto, right? I will ride this wave until it crashes onshore.

[mackjlee9]

Gally x Top!Male!Reader [Smut]

Warning; dom bottom gally x sub top reader, I'm still getting used to writing smut about Will/any character of his, also yeah the 'look at me' dialogue has me in a chokehold ✌😛

Masterlist.

The Maze Runner

Requested by call me cal on Quotev.

It hasn't been that long since (M/n) and Gally first discussed this matter, they had talked many times about the right time and right moment before moving forward on their relationship, and arriving at the Safe Haven helped them decide, but with days turning into weeks, and weeks into months the idea was fading.

They had been pretty busy helping build houses for everyone, or for the majority, with new survivors coming in every other week it was hard to keep up.

But now, things had been settling down quite well, and people were working around making stuff easier for them and everyone involved in the building process. Which was certainly a relief. Especially so when Gally and he had been granted a room for them to live together.

It was pretty well known around that they were dating, and nobody judged them, so both of them had built their place in the span of a week, finally having a place to call their home. It was small, but it was theirs, that's all that mattered to them.

...And how separated it was from the rest of the shacks and huts near the shore.

(M/n) didn't know it would happen that night and this way, but here they were. Gally had him pinned down to the bed, he had no idea what happened to Gally and why he was suddenly so sure about this whole ordeal, however, he wasn't exactly opposed to it. But it was a little too much for the first time going so far when it came to intimacy.

His mind was clouded with pleasure, his eyes closed tightly as he trashed around, his hands gripping the sheets under him and turning his head to muffle his moans and groans on the pillow. (M/n) was just too overwhelmed, his body shaking and shivering every time Gally moved even an inch, feeling like his mind was going numb.

Gally really enjoyed watching (M/n) writhe under him, observing how he struggled to hold onto the last bit of sanity he had, but this wasn't enough for him, he wanted more, he needed to see and hear more of him.

He had to stare into his glossy (e/c) eyes, taking in the expression of pleasure mixing with pain on his tear-stained face, he wanted to witness it all.

Gally leaned forward, both of his hands placed on either side of (M/n)'s head, his heavy green gaze staring at him, subtly nibbling his bottom lip for a moment, "Look at me, (M/n)..." He whispered with a soft tone, but the (h/c) haired male didn't hear him, too focused on the feeling of Gally's walls tightening around his sensitive cock.

His jaw clenched and he lifted a hand off the bed, reaching to hold (M/n)'s chin, forcing him to face him as he whined from the pain.

"Look at me," this time, (M/n) began slowly opening his eyes, difficulty staring at Gally's expression through his clouded sight, making him grow a faint smirk, "There you go, that's more like it," with those words, he soon began moving his hips slowly down against (M/n)'s, grinding back and forth, in circles or just slightly lifting them before going back down, barely pulling a couple inches of (M/n)'s cock out of him, making him cry out.

Gally watched with a smirk how (M/n) whined and whimpered, feeling how he tried to raise his hips in a desperate attempt at getting the blond to stop teasing him.

"Gally, please- please, let me cum... I wanna c-cum..." Tears dripped down his face, his hand releasing the sheets and gripping onto Gally's thighs tightly, surely leaving bruises that would show tomorrow.

He let out a breathy chuckle, holding back a moan as his hand moved to hold (M/n)'s hair, gripping it and pulling it, making him tilt his head back with a grunt, his body jerking at the pain on his scalp.

Gally leaned down, closer to his face, their breaths mixing, "You wanna cum, hm?"

(M/n)'s eyes stared into Gally's, a glint of something swirling in them, something he wanted to hear, "Yes, please-," he muttered with a broken voice, his whole body heating up as he tried to hold back his orgasm as his lover hummed, questioningly.

"Have you been good?" He nodded frantically, or as much as he could with Gally's grip still in his hair.

"I-I have, I've been good, Gally... Fuck- please, I need to... Need to cum in-inside you, can I cum inside you, please?" He did not care how desperate and whiny he sounded, he was desperate, his cock throbbed and leaked with each passing second, moaning whenever Gally moved the slightest bit on top of him.

And well, hearing (M/n) begging so nicely and looking so pretty covered in sweat and tears, he couldn't say no now, could he?

Releasing a quiet hum again, Gally released his hold on his (curly/wavy/straight) hair, leaning back and holding himself up on (M/n)'s thighs, exposing all of himself to his lover.

(M/n)'s eyes stared with hunger at the way Gally's hole wrapped around his cock, moaning and biting his bottom lip harshly, before his sight lifted enough to see his twitching cock, the tip a bright red as pre-cum oozed from his slit, staining his abdomen.

"Alright then," he spoke, a choked moan escaping him, "Fill me up, (M/n)~."

Fucking hell, Gally...

[sherell-x]

If I start off something off with “another thing” or “one thing” just know I’m about to rant on here😂😂😩😩😭😭 & on that note…buckle up because this is a long one.

It absolutely baffles me that Feyre throughout ACOSF shows ZERO initiative or indication on wanting to know as much as she can about her baby/pregnancy, she’s a FIRST TIME MOTHER-TO-BE & this girl shows not a single ounce of “first-time-mom syndrome” Feyre’s lack of care towards her & her baby’s wellbeing whilst pregnant is to me absolutely diabolical & insane.

What I mean by this is at not one point has it ever been established that Feyre showed the initiative to get 2nd & maybe even 3rd opinions from different midwives/healers or even Illyrian mothers & find out information for herself about her son & her own health during pregnancy, I don’t know what wtf SJM was thinking making Feyre completely & utterly dependent on Rhysand relaying information or even Madja for that matter, it completely blows my mind that SJM’s thought process for Feyre throughout this whole ordeal was to make her so vulnerable that she shouldn’t even be aware that her own baby would likely kill her during the delivery.

I can 100% understand that Feyre wants to enjoy the pregnancy & be “in the moment” with the pregnancy experience but what I can’t grapple with is Feyre being so content & uncaring to find out all the information she can about having an Illyrian baby/baby with wings, like she was told directly by Madja that the delivery would be difficult & from that as far as we all know she made NO attempts to get as much info as she can to help herself & her son…as a first time mom…being that nonchalant?!!?!!! Like wtf?!!!

I can’t understand how she can be told the labour will be difficult & not do a damn thing herself to find ways to potentially make it easier such as finding out from others aka Lucien if he knows anything about shifting whilst pregnant, why the hell didnt Rhysand or any of the others think to go to Spring & ask Tamlin if he knows anything about risks of shifting during pregnancy since…you know shifting is HIS thing, they have no problem trespassing in Spring for secret meetings or going their to taunt an already depressed & suicidal Tamlin but when you actually need his help yet again they all suddenly get amnésia including Feyre?!!?!

To me Feyre’s inability to find things out for herself & relied on everyone else to find the information out & hope they relay it back truthfully (which in the end they did not) is not only careless but reckless too & just shows how much she wasn’t ready to be a mother, unless we end up getting a POV or flashback POV of Feyre’s thoughts surrounding her pregnancy then naturally I’ll change my stance on this situation.

Also Madja needs to NEVER & I mean NEVER be allowed to be a practicing healer EVER AGAIN!! That female is absolutely disgusting & diabolical too, she as a female making a choice for Feyre in not telling her she & her baby may die & by extension Rhysand of course, I don’t care if she was forbade by Rhysand what she did was absolutely disgusting, can you imagine how many other females in The Night Court have potentially lost their lives because Madja made a call that wasn’t hers to make on a mother & baby’s wellbeing.

And I will stand 10 toes down behind Nesta telling Feyre the birthing dangers but I don’t agree with how/the way it came out but I also understand why she in that moment she blurted it out to Feyre, it was a lose lose predicament to be in & had Feyre taken the initiative to find out more info on her pregnancy herself maybe she would have known about this already & maybe been prepared.

I really want to believe that Feyre was more involved in her own pregnancy & was showing some semblance of that first-time-mom syndrome but based off of everything we did get with ACOSF everything so far is saying she didn’t, which is just so sad that even at her most vulnerable SJM chose to make Feyre even more vulnerable by purposely having her mate/husband & family keep such a thing from her & not have her act like a mom-to-be

[brigdh]

Ed and the mortifying ordeal of being known

Ed does not like revealing his feelings. He is incredibly consistent about lying,

hiding

displacing,

distracting, or just outright denying what he's feeling instead of actually talking about it. This is a consistent pattern of behavior with him. There are a few exceptions – most significantly, I think, the bathtub scene where he confesses to Stede about killing his father – but they are a) rare, and b) occur under unusual circumstances, such as a PTSD flashback. In general Ed goes to great lengths to prevent people from recognizing the truth about him.

I don't really blame Ed for this habit, to be clear. He went through an abusive childhood, and though we don't see a lot of the exact dynamics in baby Ed's house, it's very common for abused children to become hyper vigilant of both their own and others' emotions. It's an attempt to exert some, any control they can over the situation, as though they can prevent setting off the abuser if they just always say and do the right thing.

Ed escaped into piracy, but in terms of talking about his feelings, I don't think it was much of an escape. Piracy in OFMD seems to be a place where the idea of having friends (though not the reality – I'd argue Ed might not use the word 'friend', but has had close relationships) is to be scoffed at. "We're all just in various stages of fucking each other over!" says Calico Jack, and being open about your emotions, plans, hopes, etc would just make it all the easier to be betrayed. On the other hand, lying, obfuscating, or just telling everyone about Plan A and then instead pulling off Plan B makes you look like a double-crossing genius who outthought everyone around you. So I'm not surprised that's Ed's learned to be manipulative and uncommunicative. I don't think he's ever been in a situation where emotional openness wouldn't be a disadvantage.

Regardless of why he does this, it's very clear that it's a pattern of behavior for him. This is one reason why I don't think Sad Robe Ed back in Episode 10 was healing – healing requires addressing and dealing with your feelings, and Ed was very much not doing that. I've already written a whole post going through that episode and laying out how Ed never once mentions Stede, or love, or heartbreak, or anything related to what he's going through, so I'm not going to do it again here. In brief, Ed's putting on a performance of sadness for the crew, but it's a generic, vague sort of sadness, without any connection to his personal, specific pain.

Who finally brings up Stede in Ep 10? It's sure not Ed. Izzy:

Which brings us to Season Two. How is Ed doing now?

He's once again making a performance of his pain, and once again keeping it vague, not letting any of his true, personal hurts be revealed.

These:

Are performances of his pain and sadness, but just like before, they're generic, unspecific. This is "Mad Devil Pyrate Blackbeard", not heartbroken, human Ed. Who is it that brings up the private reality of what's causing this toxic atmosphere? Once again, not Ed. It's Izzy, just like before. And this time he gets shot immediately for saying Stede's name, and Ed doesn't even look at him.

In all three episodes, Ed mentions Stede directly only once, and very pointedly, it's when he's alone:

I'm glad Ed has decided that he wants to live, but that's the beginning of a journey, not the end. What I really want to see in the next couple of episodes is Ed finally, for once, opening up. He doesn't want to be vulnerable, but the lack of emotional intimacy that constantly lying and performing has gotten him is, quite literally, killing him.

Ed can't get over his own, very real pain until he's willing to admit that it exists. I want to see him acknowledge where he hurts. He needs friends. He needs love. He can't get those without being honest.

I hope he does. I hope the show will have him do this work instead of skipping him ahead immediately to the happy ending, no behavioral change required. I think they will. It's kind of their motto, after all: talk it through as a crew.

Now if the co-captains would just follow their own advice...

[localapparently]

/ orv main story ending spoilers , mentions of kdj's suicidal mindset

mindless rambling

my friend who just finished orv asked me why kdj couldn't just split like 2% off of himself into an od avatar and leave that in the train while he joined kimcom, and while my initial reaction was "there's no way he could just do that" I remembered i thought a similar thing when I first read through orv too? and maybe it got explained down the line but I forget things real easy (which is why i'm rereading orv) and so I'm just trying to make sense of it using my existing knowledge

There's this bit in epilogue here:

Sangah's words "protecting the world by dividing himself in half, one becomes the reader, one becomes the character". the first being 51 and the second being 49,

I think there are layers to it. Right after being shaken by the OD ordeal, kdj's mindset that he's to blame for the whole world is reinforced stronger than ever before in his head, because he had just witnessed living proof of it. And that's not something he can overcome just because sp and 999 gang took od away to take care of him. Even then, kdj was confused why they weren't angry.

There's also the persisting mindset kdj has that he's twsa's reader and not a proper part of kimcom, and he probably felt like he should bear the burden of consciously continuing to read the world until the very end. He managed to see himself as part of kimcom over the course of the story but od's appearance sort of undoes all that progress he's ever made, and its sad but its pretty common for self hate mindsets to spiral like that,

He probably felt like he deserved it, yet him wanting that extra 2% difference to prove he knew and loved kimcom more than his avatar. Him regretting splitting in half right after the avatar left and he saw them all walking away. He knows what he wants and in the end he can't bring himself to think that he deserves it

And honestly I don't really know why the way singshong writes kdj's self hate and suicidal tendencies get me so badly, I mean I do, kind of, the feeling is there, but it's incredible how long the set up was and how real it feels when you see it all go downhill.

i think od reveal truly truly fucked up kdj to no repair. like if you read the passages, its fucking heartbreaking.

"My own tragedy couldn't even compare to their pain. The sin of creating an even bigger tragedy because of my own should not be forgiven." "Something was wrong. A blade… I, I needed to find a blade."

and the thing that gets to me is how easily anyone who has had self loathing thoughts can empathise with him. The want to disappear for inconveniencing things that would've been perfectly fine and pretty and happy had you not come into contact with it, the idea that you are a disgusting monster and its easier to shut yourself off than do any more damage. and its Fine if youre in pain because They will be happy and theyll will be happier without you.

It fascinates me how a portion of readers of orv who self blame or self doubt love kdj so much, because the act of loving him is also some form of self reassurance that they can be loved as well, because if someone like kdj can be forgiven, then surely they can, for all their small or big mistakes that are definitely not on the scale of plunging the universe into a space apocalypse. or something.

but i might be assuming so. don't take my word for any of this.

tldr he doesnt split out a small avatar to take the place of od because he thinks he deserves it. which is quite obvious if you take a look at the big picture, and i dont really know why i rambled so long. maybe ill reread orv and theres gona be a small bit that's like "ohh well actually if it was too small of a percentage that became od the universe wont hold up" and i will be like Ah yes i just missed that part. and this ramble will be void. uhh yes. have a nice day

[neet-elite]

↳ EVENT 34. M!Alex DoL (Breeding & Hybrids)

Pairing: M!Alex / F!Reader Genre: Smut 18+ WC: 3,959 Warnings: breeding, hybrids, heats, creampie, size difference, dubcon, pregnancy mention, mating, alex is a little mean but he doesn't mean it !!! promise !! Prompt(s): 04 — breeding + 02 — hybrid(s) Event Masterlist: CLICK HERE!!

A/N: back to our regularly scheduled smut <3 ty for allowing me to experiment a lil yesterday, and thank you for allowing me to indulge in some delicious hybrid sex yummy yummy.... !!!!!

There are certainly times that being a hybrid benefits him. Namely when it comes to his raw strength, and how it ties nicely into his career. Farm work ain't easy, y'know! But for him, and his natural born durability, difficult tasks are a lot easier to complete. It's nice to be not have to worry about the sheer amount of manual labour involved in his line of work, waking up each and every morning with the sure knowledge that whatever the day throws at him, he'll be ready for it. Lifting, weeding, fixing, building— thanks to his bull-like strength, nothing can even hope to stand in his way.

Another benefit is how much he can relate to his livestock. Sure, some may give him funny looks considering that he's a hybrid just like them, why should they bow to his feet? But he makes it abundantly clear that he only intends to care for them, a mutually beneficial understanding shared amongst beasts; not in the least because he can empathise on such an intimate level with them. Able to better help, attend to, and look after his stock as compared to a non hybrid farmer. Really, they should be thankful that it's his feet they must abide by, and not some unknowing, unhelpful human farmer. He understands their struggles like no other, because he experiences them in kind.

There are, of course, cons to the whole ordeal. One of which being his temper, or was it temperament? He never was the brightest, couldn't never get the difference to stick. How it can rise to terrifying heights, surprisingly fast, too. Stubborn as, well... As himself. As a bull can be, huffing and snorting and aiming his horns at anyone, or anything, that steps out of line. Innate intimidation working both for and against him, though he'd rather admit the former. Because a tall, imposing, intimidating presence is good around the farm, especially inside the barns. Tail swishing behind him, nostrils flared knowing that his mere existence is enough to get all the other hybrids back in line in a moments notice.

However, perhaps the greatest con of all, in spite of all the amazing positives, is that: he's just an animal at the end of the day. Just like the stock he cares for daily, a primal beast, a slave to his instinctive chains just as much as the rest of them.

Try to hide it all he wants, it's no use when he has someone as pretty and small as you near him at all hours of the day, helping on the farm as much as your little human hands can offer, leaving him feeling all fuzzy and thankful inside of his chest at the way you wipe the sweat off your brow. A pretty little thing like you is all it takes, really, for the animal within him to buck and gnaw and chew at his willpower until it's all too late. The immediate attraction he felt towards you hidden at the back of his mind resurfacing from a mere glance from you, a connection so strong that he's been unable to look away since your arrival on his farm.

It's that time of year again, isn't it?

He'd tried to keep himself contained. As naturally as possible— ain't got time to head into town for anything like medication or the likes, left to seethe by himself in private, avoiding your usual kind conversation in favour of petting himself into oblivion when he thinks you can't see him, or when you're too busy with one of the many useless tasks he's sent his favourite little farmhand on today. Anything to get you out of sight, though unsurprisingly, never out of mind.

Compared to him, you're tiny. A soft bodied little girl he can't help but to stare at, a yearn so deep in his heart to claim you as his own once and for all— and that's not just his instincts talking, though they certainly aid his drive. Over the course of your time spent on the farm, days and nights spent with him, he's came to appreciate you as a person, too.

One of the good ones, he promises his stock.

And while he can fuck around with his hybrids on any given day—he's done so before, particularly before you entered his life— there's just something about you. An intrinsic understanding that though he could break you in a mere second, still you cling to him for support. Staring up at him with those big puppy eyes he oh so adores; not that he's ever said as much before, often rendering him a blushing mess despite your smaller than his stature, build, and overall presence on the farm.

You're a good worker too, which gets to him. Honest with a strong work ethic, better than some hybrids he's came across. Like you're trying to prove yourself to him or something, which would be cute if that was the case. Y'need not prove yerself at all, sweetheart. He wants to coo softly at you often, fisting his fat cock to completion every night to the thought of his favourite little human between his meaty thighs with the look of adoration on your face. God, how long he's wanted to see you just there, those doe eyes fluttering back up at him, struggling to take his hybrid cock down your throat as— Well. You get the point.

Mans smitten, though the pill is a difficult one to swallow. Him, with a human? Look, he's not got anything against you per se, it's just not something he's ever considered possible in his lifetime. Resolved to picking a cute little hybrid all for himself one day once the farm was settled, and yet here he sits on his porch pining for someone half his size and half his breed. But that's just it, isn't it? The fact that you're so tiny compared to him, so easily picked up and thrown down, unable to escape his too big cock as his heat creeps up on him in the golden hour. It's too enticing, to see you prance around his farm without a single clue of the things you do to him. A curiosity, he lies to himself. Fate, his heart corrects.

"Fuck..." Escapes him, petting at his cock some more as you finish up tending to the plenty plots around the farmhouse, his brows knitting together in concentration, of you walking his way with that big cheesy grin on your face that he silently loves, or his big open palm stroking the outline of his bulge? He's not so sure. All that he knows for sure is that his cheeks feel a little warmer when you're around, that your scent invades his senses the closer you get to him, almost clouding his judgement as you take to sitting beside him, his cock twitching privately in response to the loud sigh you let out upon finally being able to relax.

You're so... God, so fucking annoying. The way you so effortlessly overwhelm his senses, his nose twitching with frustration as he huffs in your intoxicating scent. Can fucking smell your cunt from your side, tip leaking all over his pants with need. It's— sure, he's in heat. Breeding season and all that, not that you're fucking aware given how carelessly you bring up your shirt to reveal your soft tummy to him— oh, just a little bite? Just a small one, just to get a taste? Cleaning up the rest of your sweat that he'd rather lick off for you, exhaling heavily through his nose at the innocent look you wear when regarding him. But it's embarrassing how down bad he is for you, how out of all the perfectly good hybrid options presented to him throughout his life, a weak little thing like you gets to him the most.

"You good, Alex?"

Part of him wants to laugh, barked down at you with utter disrespect for how fucking stupid you're being right now. Dumb little girl, exposing yourself to his bull side so easily, on a silver platter up to his grinding teeth. But he's only half the animal he's acting right now, choosing instead to clear his throat before responding, staring you down with hazy eyes. He doesn't want to frighten you, really.

"Yup." Is all he allows himself to admit, tucking his cock into the waistband of his pants when you take a gander at all of your hard work; impressive, he thinks to himself. You're skilled, and it annoys him for some reason.

"You sure? You don't look too hot..."

The amount of worry in your tone irritates him, worsens his already agitated state as he goes to stand out of your way, intent on taking care of the tight ball of need nestled deep in his tummy until you reach out for him, little hand burning an imprint on his tense arm from the fire coursing through him.

It's craving. Longing to make you his. He's never truly felt so fucking heated before though... Even when fucking his stock when his heat got too strong to bear, he's never felt so vulnerable, and then it clicks in him. He wants you to depend on him too, to look for stability in his arms, to mark every inch of your pretty skin as his so that he never has to worry about another heat again. Unable to ignore the growing creep of want in his chest with every inhale of your scent— the best he's ever smelled, annoying in how sweet and perfectly suited it is to his tastes. He knows what it means, he's been avoiding it for as long as he can. But the way your hand comes up to his forehead, the back of it gently resting against him, as if checking your child's temperature— you just don't know when to quit, do you?

Not that he's any better, immediately sat upon your tugging request, allowing you to touch and poke and prod at his warm cheeks, concern lacing your expression at the way he huffs and puffs before you. Look, see how he's trying to hold on to the last remnants of control he's got, but you just keep pushing. Leaning closer, pouty kissable lips just begging for a tongue shoved between them, his eyes rolling back and shut when you hum in sincere thought for him.

And it's like something snaps in him when he feels your hand on his thigh. Propping yourself up to assumedly get a better look at his flushed complexion, unwinding the tight ball of restraint within him in a mere second as his hands fly out to your waist, easily pulling you onto his lap to show you exactly what's wrong with him. Let you feel the way his big fat cock throbs against your tummy, nails digging in to your hips and arms flexed to keep you pinned in place on his lap.

You've got to know that wrapping your legs around his waist only encourages him, right? Even if you've only done so out of assumed obligation, his clouded mind and rock hard cock take that as an invitation to thrust against you. Just once or twice, the sopping tip of his cock fucked out of his cock in the movement, much to your surprise apparently as a rushed gasp escapes you.

"'M sorry..." He mumbles, though nevertheless pushes your body back, letting you perch precariously at his knees so that he can unzip his pants and free his cock. "Jus'... Um, gotta mate with you."

Not once has he worded it like that, carrying you up to his bedroom without waiting for your answer because of how downright desperate he is to show you how serious his intentions are, undressing you on the way and discarding your clothes recklessly across the old house until he's able to toss you onto his bed.

You unlock something so needlessly primitive within him, the bed dipping under his weight as he removes his top, revealing his tight and toned body for your glassy eyes to gawk at. Fuck, and the sight of you under him like this? How easily and readily he towers over you, safely twice your size as he hovers above, bull tail swinging back and forth in piqued interest at the way you seem to cower under him.

He'd like to look after you properly, wants to treat you the way you deserve, but that'll have to wait. He's unfortunately too fraught with uncontrolled need right now, greedy for his first fuck, to empty his taut balls into your little cunt to make it all creamy for him.

"It's— ah..." Automatically, he starts to jerk at his exposed cock. Letting his precum drip all over your front, a puddle of pre soon forming at your belly button from just how strong his heat is, how strong you've made it, your scent screaming breedable even as he looms over you, leaving him a little dizzy with desire. "It's because you smell so good, I can't— I mean, I tried to hold back but..." but the lust pooling in his tummy is too much to bare, and the way you're looking up at him with such expectation only encourages him to continue, and just seeing you submit so pliantly under him triggers his impulsive behaviours, and—

Mm... There's no use making excuses now. His inhibitions lowering with every passing second that his big cock hovers above you, the wide eyed look you give him back as he slaps his tip against your tummy a little, pressing it right against you, hissing at how good it feels just to even glide his tip against your skin and; "Look," He implores, following your vision down to his heavy cock as he continues to stroke pre out for you. To mark you up with his stink. "Look how big it is. Don't think it's gonna fit all inside..."

And when he looks back up at your pretty face, he's greeted to the sight of your adorable pout. As if you were just as saddened by that fact as he is, nonetheless drawing his hips back to give in to his baser instincts with a final stroke of his cock.

"S'okay. Will stretch my mate out real good, jus' give it time." He promises you, and despite the lewd intentions behind his heat stroke ridden words, he means it. For someone as soft, pliable, easily throwable, and sweet as you, he's willing to wait and train you to take his full size. After all, he's decided that you're his mate now, so you're gonna have to learn eventually. Or rather, nature has willed it so. A scent so alluring, so entrancing? He's but a man, after all. Giving in to his desires as he threatens to shove his cock all the way in at a moments notice.

He'd just rather you wanted too, is all. But it's not that important.

Not like you can escape him anyway, one hand on your hip, the other by your head to keep himself steady. He's much too strong for you, and so much bigger too in every respect. Try to escape his iron grip and he'll easily be able to tug you back down to meet his cock, letting his tip rest against you for just a moment as he steels his nerves.

A shaky sigh later, and his mind is settled. To prove how serious he is, he gives you a concerned look. Pained, almost, from how eager he is to prove himself to you.

"You're gonna be such a good mommy, little mate."

No time to fully recognised your confused expression, already pushing his cock inside of your perfect little mate cunt without warning. Just the tip, really, soaking your insides with his plentiful pre and you're already clawing at him. Nails digging into his tensed up arms, stroking his ego so well, just like how your cunt massages his tip expertly, little cunt sucking him off just the way he likes, like you were fucking made for him, attempting to drag him in further and further despite the way your walls struggle to stretch around his fat girth. Too fucking big for little girls like you, instinctively dipping his head low with a wince when your cunt squeezes him unfairly well. Fucking into you raw feels too fucking good, it's almost embarrassing how much he loves it already. Just the tip, and he's a mess. Panting heavily, periodically squeezing at your side to keep himself focused enough to feel every single clench of your insides.

"Here," He hums, almost begs for you to hear his words in spite of the pheromone haze settling thick in the room. "Hold on t'em. It'll help."

Not only in keeping you grounded enough to feel every agonizing inch of his fat cock splitting you in two, but also more selfishly, he likes it when his horns are grabbed. Feels like you're relying on him a little more, little fists wrapped around his tough horns as he hunches over you like some sort of predator, his body completely encasing your own in the sheer size difference as he humps his tip into you a little too fast for his liking. He doesn't mean it, he doesn't wanna hurt you, it's just that you feel so fucking good, fuck. Like he always knew you would, your hole eagerly doing her best to accept his throbbing cock, the tip finally popping all the way inside with a sickly squelch thanks to his dominating efforts, your cunt soaking his cock with every tiny thrust he offers your small, frail body.

And it's difficult for him to hold back like this, to keep himself in check when you're whining so pretty for him like that. All shy and choked, a mix of pain and pleasure as he takes to rocking your body up and down his cock rather than thrusting inside, the hand on your hip doing all of the work for you as you hide your enjoyment in the sheets below.

He'd love to see you struggle to take his cock, but he understands your reaction. Some hybrids have difficulty, too. The first time can be overwhelming, fucking you selfishly over every throbbing vein of his heavy cock, got him all twitchy and leaking inside of you, doing his best to help ease the glide inside but he only ever truly manages to stuff half of his cock in you before you're tapping out.

"Okay, okay," He grits his teeth at your surrender, allowing you some leeway for managing to even take half of him, a soft cooing tut escaping him at the affection he harbours for you. Pretty little mate, you'll get there eventually. Especially considering it's only the first night of his heat; he'll break you in soon enough. "I'm gonna— Ah, fuck, sorry—"

What he tries to tell you is that he's gonna move, provide you with ample opportunity to fully stop before the point of no return; but his body has other ideas. Pulling his hips back mid speech only to fervently thrust forward again, a brutally unfair pace settled from the get go as his instincts truly take over and he simply cannot fucking help himself from indulging in your meagre, shivering frame. A true treat to a bull like him, pampering himself with heady thrusts and loud grunts, every fast fuck into your over stretched cunt matched with tandem tugs of your pretty body down, made to meet him in the middle, his bed squeaking under the sheer weight of his fucks forwards.

He knows he's made the right choice in mating with you as soon as you start to squirm under him, gasping his name like some sort of mantra for him to drink up, his usual cocky smirk now replaced with an open mouth for him to moan and groan just for you. Drooling precum into you, saliva pooling in his mouth at how tasty your smell has become, how fucking strong it gets now that he's fucking you so full, the knowing that he's only half way inside understandably leaving you a little on edge given how just half his cock is all it takes to have you creaming so well around him. A little ring of it half way up his cock, your relatively tiny hands tugging on his horns as if asking for something else, but you're too stuffed with cock to voice it, aren't you baby?

It's okay, he's a good mate, he can intuit what you want. What you so desperately need, just like him, right? Like a good bitch in heat, you want the same thing he does.

A nice, warm, sticky creampie, huh?

And oh, the way you're sobbing for it so nicely, begging wordlessly with half babbles for more, allowing him to rock your body up and down with every greedy thrust his hips roll into you automatically, driven to impregnate you out of pure need. Like a reflex, or impulse. His tongue pokes at the inside of his cheek as you pull his face closer to your own by way of his horns, his tail flapping behind him in impatience.

Someone as nice and tight as you was made for breeding, right? Little breeding bitch, all for him. Rubbing his nose against your own, taking a greedy inhale of your sickly sweet scent before imprinting his own with opposingly gently nuzzles against your cheek— always mindful of his horns.

"Look at me." He commands, voice rough and throaty from the amount of effort it takes not to just ram his whole fat cock into your perfect little pussy like how he wants to, lifting his head up just a little so that his forehead rests against your own and you can see just how much he wants this. Wants you.

"Want ya t'look at me when I get'cha pregnant."

And to prove his suspicions, it only takes another greedy stoke inside your cunt for your walls to clench down hard around him, mommy body begging for his strong bull seed, yeah? Feel so good cumming around him like that, God, he's not long to follow. Finding it difficult to continue thrusting into your tightly squeezing hole, and yet nevertheless allowing her to milk him as his full, thick seed shoots against your walls. Dumping a fat load right against your cervix, fucking it back into you with relentless thrusts— unintentionally, he just can't stop himself from seeking the too good feeling your cunt swallows his cock with. Thick cream seeping out from around his cock as it gushes out of you, turning your ass and thighs all tacky with his seed when he lowers his body further, keeps you as close to him as possible so that his load is more likely to stick to its intended purpose.

And like that he remains. Heaving against you, he keeps you there for a good minute or so until the wave of pleasure rolls over him and he's offered a miniscule amount of clarity. Enough to view your battered body, how sloppy and messy and stupid you look under him, a silent beg for more on the tip of your tongue as you smile dumbly up at him.

"Already?" He sneers down at you, rubbing his thumb across your cheek with a chaste kiss to the tip of your nose. "Fucked stupid? Oh," His cock twitches inside of you again, warming in your stuffed little hole, keeping his cum plugged inside for your own benefit. Still, he wants.

"We've only just started m'afraid."

[chishiyasleftnut]

Nothing but short, short skirts

Hi everyone! (✧ω✧) This one was inspired by a scene from The Wolf of Wall Street which I recently rewatched.

Disclaimer: This is not an example of a healthy relationship. You should not use sex as neither a punishment or reward as it can lead to an unhealthy relationship with both your partner and sex. Be adults, talk it out.

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤 Warning: Smut. Pairing: Chishiya x fem!reader.

Plot: Chishiya made fem!reader upset during an argument, causing her to withhold sex until he apologises. Of course, that’s easier said than done, so fem!reader decides to seduce him.

1646 words. 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

You were mad at Chishiya. Honestly, you couldn’t remember why and the ‘why’ didn’t matter to you anymore. All you knew was that you deserved an apology - which showed to be incredibly difficult to get from him. He was stubborn, but so were you.

As a way to get him to apologise, you decided to withhold sex. Was this a terrible idea? Yep. But it was too late. You had already started this war and you were not about to back down, even if that meant spending every waking moment craving his touch.

Instead of backing down, you decided to coax an apology out of him. The easiest way? Making him just as desperate for you as you were for him. So, from that moment on you decided to wear the skimpiest outfit found in your closet until he gave in. Mini skirt? Check. See-through, white shirt? Check. No underwear? Definitely check.

Your plan commenced and you walked into the living room, elegantly placing yourself on the same couch as Chishiya but avoiding looking at him. Out of the corner of your eye you noticed Chishiya taking a surprised double look at you before turning his gaze back at the TV. Even though he acted unaffected, you noticed the way he shifted in his seat and licked his lip. Clear signs of arousal. Success! You got him. Now you just had to play the waiting game.

However, to your dismay, nothing but occasionally glances happened. You had to up your antics. As if there were no intentions behind your movement, you changed your position, so you were lying down with your legs facing Chishiya. Your knees were bent and just far enough apart that he could see your lack of underwear.

Chishiya noticed immediately, his eyes lingering on the sight before him for a few too many seconds for it to appear natural. His hands were clenched tightly into fists, the veins on them popping up underneath his skin. He shifted again, this time to move the growing hardness that was now feeling rather cramped in his jeans to a more comfortable position. Still, he didn’t do anything more. He made no attempt to approach you, to convince you to stop this stupid sex boycott. That would require an apology, and he was not about to give in even if it was very, very tempting.

Annoyed by his lack of response, you got up from the couch and marched to the kitchen. If you weren’t getting laid, you at least wanted a snack. Something to take your mind off of the emptiness in your core. God, you wanted him…

You shook your head to clear your thoughts and instead grabbed a plate and some bread to make a sandwich. Just as you began arranging the toppings on the white bread, Chishiya walked into the kitchen. Of course, you were mad at him. Double mad. You were both mad that he wasn’t falling in your trap and mad that he wouldn’t apologise. So instead of looking at him, you kept your eyes on the sandwich you were constructing. Chishiya stepped up behind you, getting close enough that you could feel his incredibly hard length pressing against your lower back. His hands lifted your skirt up to expose your rear to him. He grabbed it, squeezing the ample flesh hard. He loved your ass. So much. This whole ordeal truly was terrible for both of you.

“Don’t do this to me.” he growled into your ear; his face buried deep in the crook of your neck. The air from his deep, shaky breaths brushed over your skin, sending shivers down your spine. That, combined with his hands firmly placed on your ass, made you want to give in. But you couldn’t. You had to win this or you would never hear the end of it.

“Apologise.” You said. It was a simple demand.

Chishiya paused. His hands loosened their grip on your body as he fought his urges.

“I have nothing to apologise for.” he stated.

Fuck. You had hoped for another response. The yearning was almost painful at this point, your body was so desperate for his touch. However, you stayed strong and instead pulled your skirt back down to cover your ass.

“Okay,” you said as if you weren’t going insane. “You can speak to me when you’re ready to apologise.”

Just as you were about to leave with your sandwich, Chishiya grabbed your wrist and pulled you back, so you were face to face.

“You’re killing me here, you know that right?” he said with a small smile on his lips. Although your actions were tormenting him, he could also see the amusing aspect of them. He had to admit, it was a creative plan. Chishiya took the plate out of your hands and put it back on the kitchen counter before lifting you up and placing you next to your sandwich. Standing in between your legs and leaned forward so his mouth was right next to your ear, he finally said the words you had been waiting for.

“I’m sorry.”

You both knew he didn’t mean it, but honestly you didn’t care. You couldn’t even remember what you were mad about, so it wasn’t as if the apology was actually important to you. You simply didn’t want to quit the sex boycott out of sheer stubbornness.

“Thank you.” you said while smiling. Chishiya felt your cheeks lift and responded by smiling too. You felt his warm hands move under your skirt again.

“May I?” he asked, his voice deep with desire. You nodded and hummed, wanting nothing more than that right now. He wasted no time and immediately lifted up your skirt, causing your now bare ass to get contact with the cold granite countertop. Chishiya looked down your body, admiring the way your needy opening was already dripping with desire. A singular strong finger moved down between your folds, sliding up and down to tease your entrance.

“Mmm... Chishiya don’t do this to me,” you whined with closed eyes. Chishiya’s cheeks raised even more against yours, letting you know his smug smirk was back on his face.

“This hasn’t been easy for you either, has it?” He asked, sounding very satisfied that he had this amount of effect on you.

“It’s been terrible.”

“You’re a very stubborn woman,” he said with an amused tone. “You could just have given in, you know?”

“I couldn’t let you win. You would never let me hear the end of it.”

Chishiya snorted. You were right, of course, and he knew that. Over the past few years, you had come to know each other very well. You knew how to make each other happy, mad, or - as right now - deeply desperate for one another.

Chishiya’s finger finally entered you, followed shortly by another one as he slowly began pumping them in and out of you just as you liked it. You were already a moaning mess, your sounds being somewhat muffled by his shoulder that you were resting your head on.

Before you knew it - and all too soon - you were once more left empty as Chishiya retracted his fingers to unbuckle his belt and pull down his pants and boxers just enough to free his length. He wasted no time, sinking himself deeply into you. Your walls welcomed him by squeezing tightly around him, making him go wild. He grabbed your hips hard to stabilise you and began fiercely driving himself into you as the two of you indulged in your animalistic urges.

Not satisfied by your muffled sounds, Chishiya grabbed your jaw and forced you away from his shoulder You got eye contact, only furthering the electricity in the air. Your mouths connected for a short, but rather aggressive kiss, before he pulled away again.

“Let me hear you,” he growled.

You obliged, your moans and whimpers now harmonising with his. The only other sound in the kitchen was that of skin slapping hard against skin, as Chishiya continued to ferociously thrust into you, giving your body no break. Because of that, it didn’t take long before you felt the well-known feeling of a coil tightening in your abdomen. Chishiya felt it too in the way that your walls were now crushing down around his dick tightly.

Neither of you lasted long. With a final thrust you came undone around Chishiya. The pulsating of your core made him finish seconds later, causing his hips to stutter as he came into you. Your moans slowly died down, leaving the room quiet except for the sound of your combined heavy breathing. Once he recovered, Chishiya brushed some hair out of your face and placed a kiss on your forehead.

“I’m sorry.” he mumbled, leaving you confused.

“Why are you saying you’re sorry again?”

Chishiya smirked and pulled away just enough so he could look you in the eyes.

“What you’ve taught me is that ‘sorry’ is the secret password to sleep with you.”

“Oh shut up,” you said before laughing. “Is that your takeaway from this?”

Chishiya snickered before kissing your forehead again.

“More or less.”

He helped you down from the kitchen counter before handing you your sandwich. Reunited with your snack - and of course after finally getting the release you had been craving - you looked satisfied as you walked back to the living room. Chishiya followed you shortly, throwing himself down in the couch next to you before putting his arm around you.

The both of you had long forgotten the argument that had caused this entire situation. Everything was back to normal - at least until the next fight. But right now, you didn’t want to think about that. Instead, you wanted to enjoy the feeling of peace and love that once more filled up the apartment.

[bau-drabbles]

dancing with your ghost

a/n: enjoy! and apologies if it's ooc for him 💀 it was written in a rush :)

maeve's death affected spencer relationship with you more than realised, he just didn't know the true extent of it until jj points it out

"what are you doing spence? you shouldn't be in here, not like this" jj entered the room, to see him buried in files. his curly hair was tousled, like he'd been running his fingers through it countless times. and judging by the tense lines on his forehead, she guessed it was one of those days. he was distracted, his fists clenched tightly around the folders.

she'd gone to you just moments before, wanting to know what had happened. she could see the pain in your eyes but you didn't want to speak so she didn't force you. and how could you?

the anger practically swallowed you whole, making you see red whenever his name was mentioned. she was your closest confidant in the bau, jj knew spencer was the reason for your pain. and despite you telling her over and over not to confront him, she did so anyway. it had to be done.

however today, the atmosphere was different. spencer was different. so were you.

"she had you, so it's fine. i'll talk to her tomorrow" he hated how selfish he sounded, how cold he was. but those horrible thoughts he tried to keep at bay poisoned his mind, the darkness trickling in through the cracks of his facade.

the fight you both had just hours before killed him more, he needed you. he always did. so why was his feet planted firmly on the ground, refusing to seek you out. why did it feel like there was a knife in his heart, twisting deeper every second he was away from you? why did it feel like his whole world was about to crash down at any given second

he tried to keep himself distracted but all his mind would replay were those haunted pictures of his ex lover. how helpless he was, how completely lifeless her body felt, how he could prevented it all. and it absolutely obliterated him in pieces.

he would wake up in cold sweats, looking to his side where you'd be snoozing away peacefully. and he reminded himself that you were there and safe and sound.

until the next time you wouldn't be.

"come on spencer, doesn't she mean anything to you? don't you love her?" jj's voice was sharp, tired of the eggshells she was walking all around him. she knew she was being unfair but she also knew how it felt to be hurt by him, how it felt to be completely isolated from him.

to her surprise, he whirled around, his lip curled into a sneer. she'd never seen him so agitated before

"love?? how can i trust in love? how could i ever trust in something that could be so present in one moment and so absent the next?" spencer scowled, slamming down the papers he had in his hands.

painting you in a bad light, he thought would make the whole ordeal easier. he could pretend he never loved you but his heart betrayed him. for every beat yearned for you only. every thought that ran through his head was consumed by you. like your soul was in his body, coursing through his veins.

"do you love her?" her voice interjected, coming closer.

"what kind of question is that?" spencer raised a brow to which jj rolled her eyes.

"answer it spencer" she spoke again firmly. he knew there wasn't a way out, she would know if he was lying. he wasn't very good at keeping those for long anyway. he slumped back into his chair, his arms wrapped around him tightly. his sorrow painted so glaringly obvious upon his features, he wondered if he would ever have a happy life.

one where you would be there, one where he didn't need to run from his happiness. one where he didn't need to constantly look back in fear.

perhaps that life simply didn't exist for him

"so much so, it consumes me daily" he whispered the sentence, he never thought he could've ever loved another human so fiercely. so passionately. so much like his old love

"then trust in that. if you can't trust in love, trust in y/n. trust her, trust in her love. go to her and make amends, she needs you as much as you need her, spence. i promise you" jj eagerly spoke, hoping he would spring up and dash out the door. but some things don't happen as they plan.

"these issues are not surface level jj. they run so much more deeper than that. don't you think i want to trust y/n? don't you think i want to give her my all?" the files were on the floor as he stood up, his head in his hands. it felt like to was going to explode with how many thoughts were crammed inside.

"why don't you? take a risk for once in your life spencer"

"i do take risks, calculated ones" he mumbled, his arms wrapped around themselves.

"and what of this?"

"this.... is not calculated. i cannot determine the outcome of it. i'm not in control, my heart is. and i don't think i could bear if it breaks again" finally what jj had been waiting for, the turth finally had revealed itself. but it was more complicated than she realised.

"it's maeve..... isn't it?" jj's voice was softer this time, shocked by his confession. there was no use in hiding it anymore. the dark rings around his eyes, his sunken face, all of it due to the nightmares that kept him awake at all hours of the night. the fear that once he achieved you in his arms, it would be taken just as quickly. he nodded, a sad smile while his eyes began brimming with tears

"i see her every night and every night it ends with her being shot. i could have done something to prevent it, i know i could have. and i'm so scared of that happening to y/n. she's not from our world jj, how could i subject her to a punishment like this?" it feels like he's underwater, his breathing hitched in his throat. his eyes water, biting his lip to stop the trembling. but it wouldn't work, nothing would.

"that wasn't your fault spence, we didn't know she would do that. nobody would" she touched his hand, her baby blues watering at the pain her friend was going through. just when the slightest bit of happiness fell into his lap, it was snatched away before he could've enjoyed it.

"that's just it. i should've known. y/n could enjoy a life where she wouldn't constantly be worried for her life at every turn, she could free. free from the life i could give her, free from me..." the tears dropped like pearls, down his face and onto the desk. with every drop, it cut jj deeper. that she too was helpless in that nothing she could do would remedy his pain and yours.

"spencer..." each cracked word he spoke she felt her heart break further. how you would never know the true extent of his behaviour, how even after all this time, the nightmares continued to plague him. and he didn't tell anybody, not a soul.

"i lost maeve, i can't watch y/n suffer the same fate. she deserves so much more than i could ever give her" his voice is strained, trying his best to keep his composure professional but each thought drove him further and further to insanity

his hands reach out to his wallet where there's a small picture of you. his fingers shakily traced your picture, you were so happy. his mind was trying to engrain the beautiful smile you donned into his mind forever. so that when tomorrow arrived and he'd no longer be there, that thought couldn't hurt him. he'd only remember your smiling face

but it would hurt, of course it would.

[tinyundercover]

pepper & felix

part six

Pepper learns more about his soulmate.

MASTERPOST word count: 2.4k

“So— you’re gonna go sing in a room with a bunch of strangers, and then they’re all gonna decide if they like you or not?” Pepper stared at Felix, bewildered.

It was late at night. Pepper sat on the back of Felix’s couch, while the human was seated sideways— allowing them to face each other and remain around the same eye level. A movie was playing on the television, but the pair of them had since forgotten it, chatting absentmindedly. 

After Pepper’s dreadful ordeal with Basil, he had spent the evening with Felix, eating dinner with him (some kind of pasta that Pepper was thrilled to try) and watching two movies, neither of which he quite understood but still enjoyed. Even though he had declared his trust for Felix on a whim earlier, he couldn’t bring himself to be carried yet, and had insisted on walking from the kitchen to the couch himself. Felix, the kind man he was, had kept a respectful distance all night.

He seemed to have noticed Pepper’s uneasy, miserable behavior from the beginning. The borrower couldn’t stop thinking about Basil… but it was easier to shove the thought of her away every time he focused on the man across from him, twenty times his size.

“I mean— kinda?” Felix rubbed at the back of his neck, laughing in a quick exhale. “The judges are trying to find someone to play this specific role. So there might be dozens of guys auditioning for the same part, and the judges are just gonna pick one of us for the cast.”

Pepper hummed thoughtfully. “Okay… yeah, that makes sense. I think.” He furrowed his brow. “And— your auditioning is tomorrow?”

“Audition,” Felix corrected. “And yes, in the evening. It shouldn’t take too long.”

“When will you know if you get the cast?”

The human tilted his head, thinking. “My school usually only takes a couple days to cast things. So… maybe a week?”

“Are you nervous?”

“Hell yeah,” Felix responded dryly, and Pepper laughed. “I’ve done a few shows at my university, but I don’t usually get any big parts. I’m a junior now, so maybe it will help that I’m an upperclassman.”

At Pepper’s confused frown, Felix began to explain the concept of class standings, and the borrower nodded, pretending to understand. Humans’ lives were way too complicated than they needed to be.

Still, it was interesting to hear about Felix’s life. Pepper had only known him as “the human who sometimes left this apartment” for a year, and he was excited to actually learn where he went all day. 

He briefly thought of Basil, and his stomach twisted, knowing she would be furious if she knew where he was right now. But— Felix had proven himself time and time again to be respectful and kind, and Pepper had done the best he could to explain that to Basil.

She said she needed time to think, he reminded himself. She didn’t ditch you forever. Hopefully she’ll come around.

“What about you?” Felix asked curiously. “What do you do for fun?”

Pepper blinked at him. Borrowers weren’t known to have a lot of hobbies; most of their time was dedicated to just staying alive.

“For fun?” Briefly, his gray gaze dropped to his jacket— a baggy, blue material that he had cut from an old bandana. “Well, I like to sew. I just finished this jacket, I’m really proud of it.”

He lifted his arms so that his small jacket was easier for Felix’s eyes to focus on. Felix blinked, and he briefly opened his mouth like he was about to say something, but decided against it. “That’s really cool,” he praised. “You made that whole thing?”

“Yep.” Pepper nodded, beaming. He didn’t usually have the opportunity to brag about his accomplishments to anyone. “You’d be surprised how much old fabric you can find lying around. Old headbands, bandanas, gloves… especially in the laundry room, down the hall. That’s where I get most of my fabric.”

Felix’s expression was open, bright with interest. His curiosity about Pepper’s life wasn’t a secret to either of them, and for once Pepper wasn’t totally afraid to tell him about it. “I spend a lot of time sewing. It’s calming, and you get something out of it that you can use later. Win win.”

“That’s really interesting,” Felix said honestly. He leaned sideways against the back of the couch, watching Pepper, and Pepper suddenly felt as if he was being admired under a human’s gaze rather than scrutinized. “I am not crafty at all. I wouldn’t survive a day if I was your size.”

Pepper smiled, amused by the thought of Felix borrowing. “You think so?”

Felix laughed. “No way, man. I would be exhausted after climbing all day, but you didn’t even break a sweat earlier. And I have no clue how to sew.”

“Honestly, a lot of borrowers don’t know how to sew,” Pepper offered. “But climbing, yeah… that’s kind of a necessity. You’re out of luck.” He snickered, feeling strangely powerful over the human twenty times his size.

Felix laughed with him for a moment, before hesitantly glancing over Pepper. “Borrowers?” He echoed softly, tilting his head. “Is that what your kind is called?”

Pepper’s small heart lurched, and in that moment he remembered that he was talking to a human. Suddenly cautious, he chewed his lip. “Oh… uh, yeah.” He glanced left and right, as if someone might jump out and yell at him for being a traitor to borrowerkind.

To his relief, Felix’s features softened. “Gotcha. Another secret, I assume?”

“Yeah,” Pepper said, and it almost felt laughable. “Yeah, so no blabbing.” He pointed a dramatic finger at Felix.

This was… strange, but comfortable. Pepper was very out of place in this apartment, perched on the back of a couch while speaking with a human twenty times his size… but deep down, he knew that he was safe. Felix had had so many chances to hurt him over the past week, but the human hadn’t taken advantage of any of those. Despite being the size of his finger, Felix treated Pepper like a person.

After twenty more minutes of chatting quietly, the credits rolled on the movie, gentle music playing. Felix pursed his lips, checking the time on his phone. “I should probably go to sleep soon,” he said, almost apologetically.

Disappointment squirmed into Pepper’s stomach, but he acted casual. “Yeah, no worries. You’ve got to be well rested for tomorrow.”

Felix sighed heavily. “I’m so nervous. I probably won’t even sleep at all tonight, let’s be real.”

Pepper laughed, pulling himself to his feet. He stretched his small arms over his head. “I’ll stop by tomorrow before you leave,” he promised suddenly. “So I can wish you good luck.”

Felix’s eyebrows raised, genuinely surprised. “Oh— thank you!”

“Yeah.” Pepper beamed up at him. His heart was racing, but it wasn’t out of terror anymore. No, this was a different feeling. “Alright, you get to bed. I’ve got a long walk ahead of me.” He yawned briefly into his sleeve before pulling his hook out, latching it onto the back of the couch.

Felix’s blue gaze lingered on the borrower, fretful, and Pepper knew that the human was struggling not to offer his hand to help. For a moment, Pepper wasn’t entirely opposed to it.

But that— that would be too far. Sure, he could spend the night with Felix laughing and talking, but placing his life into the human’s hand was another thing altogether. That would be transferring all of his power over to Felix. The thought was daunting.

“Okay,” Felix said finally, voice light. “Good night. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Pepper sent him a wave as the human paced off to his bedroom, shutting the door with a gentle click. He watched the door for a long moment, mind wandering, before he pushed it all away and began sliding down the thread of his hook.

As his feet hit the floor, a voice entered his mind— the same voice he had just been speaking with five minutes ago.

“Hey soulmate— I don’t know if you’re still awake, but I just wanted to say good night. I watched some movies with a friend and now I’m gonna go to sleep.”

A smile crossed Pepper’s face, and he clasped his hands against his chest. “Hey— how did that go?”

“It was great,” Felix said, voice warm. “My friend is a little shy, so I was surprised when he asked to stay over, but he turned out to be really funny and sweet. I really like him.”

Pepper’s heart swelled, and for a single moment, he wondered if he should tell Felix everything.

…tell him that he, too, had had a wonderful evening.

…tell him that he had just spent the evening with his soulmate.

However, he only clasped his hands tighter and said, “I’m glad you had a good time! I’ll talk to you before your audition tomorrow. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, soulmate.”

—

The idea came to Pepper just as he woke up. He immediately shot it down, shocked that he would even consider such a possibility.

He ignored it. He ate a bit of a grape and a cracker for breakfast, then spent the rest of his morning stitching up the leg of a pair of pants. He held it up in front of him, examining his work, and briefly thought back to his idea. He scoffed. It was an insane idea. He would never do that.

But… the idea didn’t leave his mind all afternoon. He rethreaded his hook with stronger, more durable thread. He went for a walk. He spoke telepathically with Felix, encouraging him about his audition (feeling strangely as if he was the one playing a character). He scribbled his anxious thoughts into his journal. And yet, he couldn’t stop thinking about it.

So, with a stomach filled with ice and a burst of adrenaline, Pepper approached Felix from behind the toaster. The human glanced over at him, holding tight to his mug of tea. “Oh, hey, Pepper.”

The borrower swallowed. “I want to go to your audition with you.”

Felix laughed for a moment, but he stopped immediately at Pepper’s firm expression. His blue gaze scanned the borrower’s form, eyebrows arched in confusion, as if Pepper might jump up and say, “Psych!”

“What?” Felix finally asked, baffled.

“I want to go with you,” Pepper explained, anxiously fumbling with his hands. “For… for support. As long as no one sees me, it should be fine.”

Felix was silent, and the borrower flushed, taking a step back. “Nevermind, this is stupid, I don’t know why I—“

“No, no, it’s okay,” Felix said hurriedly, and Pepper paused. “I don’t think that’s stupid. I think it’s sweet, actually. But, you… you’ve never wanted to be picked up before. This just doesn’t seem like something you would want to do.” He blinked nervously, peering closer at the borrower.

Pepper forced a smile, rubbing his arm. “Yeah, yeah. I know. If I’m being honest, I’m pretty fucking terrified right now.” He dragged a hand through his hair. “But… I think this might be good for us.”

Felix’s eyebrow arched. “What?”

“You know, like, our friendship,” Pepper said in a rush. 

“Gotcha.” The corners of Felix’s lips twitched into a smile, then fell. “You know you can’t come into the actual audition room with me, right?”

“I can just wait outside somewhere.”

“Okay… okay. I…If you really want to do this, then yeah, you can come with me.” Felix took an anxious sip of his tea, thinking. “I’m leaving in twenty minutes. Uh— please let me know if you change your mind before then. Okay?”

“Okay,” Pepper responded, knowing full well that changing his mind was a very real possibility.

As Felix flitted around the kitchen, nervously humming, drinking tea, and speaking with Pepper, the two of them planned out how their day would go. Pepper would sit on Felix’s shoulder on the walk there (“I have great balance, Felix, I promise I won’t fall”), and during the actual audition, Pepper would wait inside Felix’s bag in the lobby. The entire excursion shouldn’t take more than an hour.

When the time finally came to leave, Felix hovered near the counter, peering at Peper.

“I’ve never picked you up before,” Felix reminded Pepper cautiously.

“Yes you have,” Pepper said blankly, and Felix flushed.

“Aside from that,” Felix said, abashed. “So, are you completely sure you want to come? It’s not too late to change your mind.”

“I swear, if I didn’t know any better, I’d think you didn’t want me to come,” Pepper teased, although his hands were trembling. Deep down, he knew he was just stalling.

Felix shook his head, his lips twitching into a smile. After a moment of apprehension he lowered his hand to the counter, palm up, shaking somewhat. “Okay, I’m ready when you are.”

Being faced with the task of placing his fate in another’s being hand was… not pleasant. Pepper swallowed, his gaze locking on the massive hand resting only a few inches away from him. Fingers that outmatched him in size curled in slightly, twitching nervously, each one strong enough to overpower him with one movement. 

The borrower stepped closer, heart pounding. He could see the individual ridges embedded into that thick skin. Underneath was a lifeline that stretched up into Felix’s wrist, thrumming steadily with a pulse. Pepper forced himself to take a deep breath, placing a tentative hand onto Felix’s thumb to steady himself. The thumb twitched in response.

A week ago, he had been trapped in this hand, and the bruises had only barely faded. Realistically, there was nothing stopping Felix from snatching him up again, squeezing him tight, or… or stuffing him in a jar, or…

Stop it. Pepper shook his head to clear his mind. This was his idea.

He wanted to send Felix an encouraging smile, but looking up at the massive human would probably only stress him out even more. Pepper swallowed, then placed his boot onto Felix’s palm.

He heard the quick breath from Felix, felt the air briefly move around him. Reminding himself that this was just as scary for Felix as it was for him, Pepper stepped fully onto his hand, holding his arms out to steady himself.

Okay.

This is okay.

He took a few cautious steps forward, wobbling slightly on the plush surface, until finally he had moved to the center of the palm. He held his breath, then sent Felix a thumbs up, unable to bring himself to speak.

“I’m gonna move you to my shoulder now,” Felix warned, and Pepper nodded rapidly.

At the first movement, Pepper gasped, squeezing his eyes shut. The world floated around him like an overbearing, threatening cloud, whispering to him that he was going to be dropped to his death in any second.

But— Felix moved slowly and carefully. Pepper’s eyes peeked open to see the human’s fingers curling up protectively, ensuring that his tiny passenger would not fall.

When Felix’s hand stilled, Pepper looked up, finding himself being held up to Felix’s shoulder. The human was wearing a white button-up, with a thick gray cardigan over it. The knitted material made it easier for the borrower to climb up and sit down on Felix’s shoulder, close to the collar. “Okay,” he exhaled, heart racing. “We’re good.”

The height was the first thing he noticed. Staring down past Felix’s cardigan and long legs, Pepper could see the floor. The only thing stopping him from plummeting to his death was his trust in the moving platform below him.

“Fuck,” Pepper mumbled, inching closer to Felix’s neck. He held onto the white collar with fervor.

“You okay?” Felix asked anxiously. He seemed to have been afraid to speak until this moment, releasing his words in one breath. “You’re not gonna fall?”

Pepper nodded, then remembered that Felix couldn’t see him. “Yeah,” he assured the human, stomach twisting in knots. This was, by far, the most fucked up thing he had ever done in his life.

If Basil could see him now…

Pepper’s stomach went cold, and he pushed the thought away, taking a deep breath. “Alright. I’m ready when you are.”

----

hahahahahhaha

I'm gonna be incredibly busy this week, so I'm not sure when the next part will be out. I hope you enjoyed this part though!! <3

TAGLIST: @smallsday @compact-katrina @satethesatelite @taters169

[ms-hells-bells]

surgical abortion really shouldn't be called surgical abortion, i think it does so much harm. i hear and read so many stories, where the majority of women choose the abortion pill over 'surgical abortion' (sometimes because it's their only option but also) because 'surgery is more risky and invasive, it'll just be easier taking a pill', but then go through days, sometimes WEEKS of bleeding and painfully passing large clots, and sometimes they are still unable to pass all of the tissue, and so have to get the procedure done anyway.

PROCEDURAL abortion (or aspiration as some call it, but that term can be difficult to parse what it is for some, and accessibility is key) does not involve any cutting of tissue, it is not surgical. it is quicker (taking only a few minutes) and more effective at tissue removal than medical abortion. many women who choose procedural abortion report being pleasantly surprised by how one and done it is, and receive the comfort and support of a nurse during the procedure, which if you are secretly getting the abortion and so not informing family, friends, or partners, it can make the whole ordeal much more emotionally bearable.

of course, it's all about what's best for an individual woman, and some may prefer the abortion pill if they want thee privacy of staying in their home, with their support system, and quietly dealing with it as quickly as possible, but i do really think that the misnomer and stigma around procedural abortion causes a lot of women to go through unnecessary physical and emotional pain when if given all the information, a simple term change (and a shift from its association with exclusively later term abortions), and hospitals/clinics being more patient focused, they would have potentially chosen procedural abortion.

[rensukei]

↻ ...bound to happen

in which a whipped diluc is head over heels and literally won't do anything about it, so you take matters into your own hands. [ triggered, chase atlantic ]

cw smut, diluc story quest spoilers. unhinged!diluc, pretty ooc bcause i got carried away, somewhat cocky reader, size kink, light hair pulling, fingering (f!receiving), lotsa dirty talk, petnames, unproteced sex (wrap b4 you tap ladies and gents), dilucs a slut. wc: 2.5k

a/n i go nuts for this man. loco.

it's late. late late. the angel's share has rid of all its patrons, save the boisterous few straggling at the bar top.

"and— and you know what i said to him?" kaeya slurs out.

you, out of your hefty adventurer's clothing and instead swapping them out for more casual and comfortable attire, stand leaning against the counter as you indulge in kaeya's inebriated antics. "what'd you say?"

"as a matter of fact... right now i can't recall what i—" he pauses, taking a deep breath before he finished his sentence, "what i said."

"well," you begin to make your way around the bar, grabbing the half-empty glass from in front of the man as his expression drops, "i believe it's time for you to head on home, captain."

"ah, what time is it?" he murmurs out, barely loud enough for you to hear.

"12:47," a voice calls out from the storage room, "would you like an escort? i bet y/n would be happy to see you out."

"oh nono, it's quite alright," the blue-haired man stated, recalling the last time you offered to help him outside and the daggers that were then stared into his back by the redhead from the tavern doorframe. "i'll be just fine on my own. thank you, though."

you sigh in relief; nothing against the captain, you just don't feel like dealing with a drunk person right now, no matter how good they are at holding their own. "ah okay then; well, goodnight kaeya!! be safe on your way home."

"will do, princess."

and with that, the angel's share is empty of drunkards and left with you and an irritable diluc.

"that was a lot easier than i had expected it to be, don't you think, 'luc?" you walk towards the storage room behind the bar but are started by his large frame appearing in the doorway.

"sure, princess." he huffs out, sliding past you to restock below the bar.

you know exactly what this means. your poor employer, mad that his brother has the common and occasional use of platonic petnames, is getting possessive. even though he's your employer. your boss, who has the frequent habit of letting his eyes linger for far too long or gets way to close to you when reaching for a certain bottle from across the bar, is stomping around because someone called you princess who wasn't him.

it's not like it goes unnoticed by you, either. you know he has developed a liking to you; whether it was before he asked you to work at the tavern or after, you don't know. all you know is that ever since you've been working there, he's suddenly taken more shifts, among other things.

"oh, please, diluc," you huff out, having dropped the whole 'master' ordeal early in your job at his request, "you know how he is, it's all respectful."

you know it's one of the more severe cases tonight when you're met with no response.

"'luc, c'mon. what's wrong?" you walk up behind him as he stands in the back room.

he swears you'll be the death of him one day. for a man with such restraint and politeness, you always test his limits. "nothing, y/n. excuse me while i finish this case," he turns around as his eyes widen, not expecting you to be so close to him, "you can go home, you're done for tonight."

"i'm not leaving, diluc." you say, moving in front of him to stop him in his tracks. a newfound surge of confidence ignites something deep within you, and you aren't playing coy today. "why do you always do this?"

he blinks, shaking himself out of his frozen stance. he has one of two options here: tell you to leave again for your own good, or stay and play dumb and watch as the situation unfolds. as much as he really wants to you leave for his sanity's sake, he picks the ladder. "do what?"

"oh, don't play stupid with me. you get so worked up over the smallest things when it comes to me." you behind walking towards him as he inches back with each step you take. "—and don't think i don't notice how you stare at me all the time, i'm not dumb."

with no more walls to hide behind or wine bottles to blame his business on, all he has left is you, him, and the few inches of space that separate your hot bodies. "y/n..."

"what's wrong, boss?" you lift your head to meet his unreadable gaze, your eagerness from the confrontation somehow still fueling the fire, "cat got your tongue?"

"you..." diluc is genuinely speechless, being able to do nothing other than bringing his hand up to cup your small flushed face. his thumb grazes your bottom lip as his mind roams the endless possibilities that this moment could turn into. his other arm finds itself wandering to your hips, pulling you into to his body and finally closing that painful gap that held you two apart. "you're insufferable," he whispers out.

"so," you sigh out a shaky breath, "whats it gonna be, 'luc?" your arms slide up and around his neck and pull him down closer to your face as you continue, "are you gonna leave me high and dry again," your hand entangles itself in his red curls, pulling the slightest bit as he takes in a sharp inhale, "or are you finally gonna take what's waiting right in front of you?"

both of you knew this was bound to happen one way or the other, the question just came to who would make the first move. its almost as if a clock was ticking for years and it finally went off; after all of the lingering touches and spared glances, the building tension and mutual pining—everything came to this. diluc lustfully envelops your lips in his as he pulls you impossibly closer, taking in everything you have to offer and more.

no words are said as your positions are switched when he hits your back into the wall behind you, earning himself a labored gasp from your lungs. this felt better than you had ever imagined; all those times you spent lying awake, fantasizing about your boos no less. its not like he's a saint, though. the young master has spent many nights staring at his ceiling, cursing his mind for plaguing himself with thoughts of you, shaking and begging beneath him.

the air seems to have gotten a considerable amount thicker as it's suddenly hard to breathe as strained gasps and broken moans fill the dim room.

"you have no idea how long i've waited to fuck you senseless, y/n." he forces out in between muffled kisses as your tongue passes over his lips, using this as an invitation to take your breath away with open-mouthed kisses as his hands begin to traverse your curves beneath your clothes.

"diluc, i-" you gasp out, taken aback by unanticipated intensity that he assaults you with.

"oh, now what's this, angel? cat got your tongue?" he mocks, diving back into your lips, never giving you a chance to catch your breath.

he carefully lifts your shirt in a silent plea for you to take it off; despite hit hurried nature, he's still got a hint of respect left. indulging in his wishes, you dispense of the garment, leaving just a simple bra in between him and your skin. all you can manage to get out is a broken whine, hovering close over the line of being way to lewd for the setting. getting impatient, diluc slips a hand past the waistband of your pants and begins to rub small circles into your aching bud.

the tent forming in his now tight trousers doesn't slip past you as he continues his effort on your searing core, working the most sinful sounds out of your kiss-flushed lips.

"oh, 'luc," you whimper out, grabbing his wrist in an insincere effort to pull him away for your heat as his fingers slip into your wet cunt, "please—"

"yeah, lemme hear you, baby," he mindlessly grinds into your hip with his continued ministrations, "oh, archons—gotta get you ready for me, yeah? 're ya gonna take it all f'me?" you have no idea where this side of him is coming from but zero complaints will ever be heard from you. "you look so pretty all breathless for me, angel," his fingers hit that bundle of nerves within you that have your head thrown back and your legs quivering beneath you, threatening to give out.

you love this feeling—his large frame looming over yours as he undoes you with his skilled hands. the tent forming in his trousers is nearly unbearable at this point as his lustful eyes watch every twitch he sends through your wavering body.

diluc slides his fingers out of your leaking heat, bringing them up to taste the slick that has accumulated up on his digits, pulling a deep groan out from his throat. impatient and insatiable, he drags your pants and underwear down all together, leaving your bare cunt out. the cold air biting at your core with the added embarrassment of being exposed in front of someone who is basically staring holes through you causes you to try and cover up, but diluc is quick to grab hold of your wrists.

"do you not want it?" he teases, a hint of worry and sincerity behind his dark tone.

"no, i—" you sharply inhale as you feel his cock spring out from his pants and hit your naked thigh, dumbstruck by the sheer size of him, "i, um..."

"you... what?" his head lowers as he presses kisses and marks all down your neck, "darling, if you don't tell me what you want, how will i know, hm?"

at this point you're contemplating if you should even continue this; the mere thought of his dick being inside of your tight little hole is enough to make anyone shudder; it's huge. unfortunately, you're way too hot and way too deep in this to deny it. luckily though, you have just enough spunk left to fuck with him.

"d—don't try and act all high and, mmmhh, and mighty, just because you're finally about to fuck me," you stumble a bit, but eventually get it out, "last time i checked, y—you had to fuck your hand in the bathroom because me ass brushed up against y—diluc!!"

amused and a bit fed up with your antics, diluc pushes his tip in past your wet folds without warning, earning a deep groan from his lungs. archons, the way he can feel you stretch around him; he could relive that moment forever. he hikes your legs up around his hips, pressing his length farther into your lewd hole, procuring the most licentious lascivious looks and noises from your pretty face. he says nothing as he sits still for a moment as he acclimates himself to the asphyxiating feeling of you enveloping him completely.

"i'm gonna start moving," he uses one hand to guide your face to meet his gaze, "is that alright with you, y/n?"

you melt under his light but assertive touch, mindlessly nodding to agree. he languidly pulls himself out and slowly slides back in with his lips slightly parted in concentration.

it takes little to no time for him to reach a sickening pace, pounding into your poor cunt as you gasp out, no longer trying to keep a quiet voice. having already been worked up by him earlier, you were quick to reach your climax. all it took was the suffocating feeling of his cock hitting you right there as you unfolded in his grasp.

"oh, y/n—fuck, i'm close," he huffs out as he thrusts into you at a sickening pace, his rhythm faltering as he nears his limit. "ahh—ah!" he stutters out while his hot cum spills into your core. whispers of profanity are thrown around as you both ride out the high, gasping for any air you can intake. he looks beautiful like this. his red curls loose in his hair tie, flowing over his tensed shoulders with little pieces stuck to his forehead. his face displays an expression of one that you could paint so many pictures of in your mind.

with both of you heaving in the afterglow, reality snapped back into diluc’s mind. his eyes widen in a panic-stricken manner as his hands fly up to grasp your shoulders, "oh... oh my archons.... i'm so sorry, y/n, i..." hes speechless. what got into him?

you, breathless, just want to go somewhere and lay down somewhere comfortable. ""luc, its fine, i came onto you and i probably shouldn't have pushed you like that—"

"no no, are you okay? did.... did i hurt you at all? archons..." his hands come up to run through his unkempt hair.

sensing his increasing anxiety, you pull his hands down and gently place them on your bare hips. "diluc," you wait until he meets your gaze, "im okay. more than okay, actually."

"..y/n...." for someone who was so insanely explicit, he's rather quiet now as a hint of a blush falls upon his face.

on your tippy toes, you stretch up to place a chaste kiss on his cheek after you finish redressing. "i need to get going, okay? i'll see you tomorrow when i come in for my shift."

just as you begin to walk out, his hand reaches out to lightly wrap around your dainty wrist in protest, an unreadable expression covering his face.

"um..." he definitely wasn't ready to say whatever he was thinking, if he was thinking at all in that moment, but he never let go of your wrist. "i've got a nice shower at the manor.. if you'd like."

a smile creeps over your complexion, "that sounds wonderful, 'luc, thank you." your hand moved to intertwine it with his. "but... try not to go rogue on me this time, okay? i was surprised by you back there."

this time?? is there even going to be another time? the mere thought of this possibly happening again is enough to fry his brain, but his embarrassment from his previous unhinged manner is the only thing he's able to focus on right now. "gods... i really am sorry, y/n. i... i just finally had you after wanting you for so long and i just snapped."

"yeah, snapped my back." you giggle out.

walking back to the winery, you remember how you got here in the first place. kaeya was a good wingman whether he knew it or not.

maybe from now on, your boss doesn't have to be just your boss.

©𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑 :: tpwk!!