#which provides more room for me to explore how the world looks for the audience and maintain tension

[kainereee]

Photographer - The Emperor

Going insane over the new idv tarot design like a very normal person, specifically looking at Joseph.

I'll be looking at meanings from a range of websites though most tend to follow the same message.

General Meaning

This is the card that asserts authority, organizes systems to retain maximum control and is the paternal influence of the Tarot deck, assuring that protection and security are provided to all those playing by the rules.

From this meaning alone it feels like the Emperor is the perfect card for Joseph. Immediately my first thoughts go to his inventions and obsession with the mirror world. The CN translation of his third character day letter sees him call the photo world akin to an "eternal kingdom", which has more hopeful connotation.

Joseph doesn't necessarily have malicious intent. Yes, the things he's done are utterly heinous and would be to any rational person who heard of them, but the bottom line is that both Joseph's hubris and his genuine belief that what he is creating and working towards will help people. Joseph sees living as suffering, but he doesn't see the afterlife as something that can guarantee him happiness either. Because the afterlife is foreign and unknown to the happiness he experienced as a child.

Instead he chooses the camera world. Preservation, something he has created, where everyone can be happy together, trapped together in a beautiful eternity. The photo world is the peaceful world where they will all rest, away from the adversities of life.

So how does this all relate to the Emperor? I like to think that it makes sense that because of how many things in Joseph's life that were out of his control ruined him, in the broader sense he does need (or feels like he needs) a huge sense of control, as much control as possible. The camera world allows him that. He's the master of that world but he does not assert such authority to rub his own ego necessarily, but because he's convinced that people need protecting. That living is suffering, and he's merely doing what's best for all. He is protecting them.

I also want to note it might be important that we are served the Emperor card upright. The reversed position of the card implies a lack of control leading to an abuse of power and unwise decisions. What Joseph does is undeniably an abuse of power objectively, but describing it as just that loses a lot of the nuance behind his actions and motivations. Despite how clearly mentally unstable Joseph is he is in control of what he is aiming to do. Like what the Emperor card represents, he has a burning ambition to achieve his goal no matter what it takes — and we see that from the way he does not falter after all his friends leave him, how it's implied that not even Elliott could stop him even though his words left some impression on him.

Design Notes

Moving on, I'd like to look at the design in more detail in comparison to what the traditional Emperor card looks like.

To get the full picture of the design we can look at the actual heritage of the Tarot card, which read me down a rabbit hole of exploring the history of the Emperor card exclusively. One detail that stuck out to me particularly was the fact Joseph isn't facing the audience in his card. In more contemporary decks the Emperor faces you head on, but Joseph isn't. I'd say this is likely in relation to the Tarot de Marseille characteristics.

By the mid-seventeeth century after Tarot card production had moved to France, the Emperor gained the characteristic of sitting on his throne in profile with his legs crossed.

The position of his legs was staged for maximum effect. Sitting at ease with one leg crossed over the other traditionally signified the highest status person in the room, or someone about to pass a legal judgment.

This doesn't drastically change the meaning of the card itself, but I thought it was a cool detail nonetheless. It feels quite fitting for Joseph ( Judge skin aside ) in the sense that he believes that what he is deciding for people is right, or that he even has the authority to in the first place. It fits well with his arrogance and ultimately all the other decisions that lead him to his self-destruction in a way.

The detail doesn't stop there. The Emperor card changed yet again with the occult tradition.

19th century occultists like Eliphas Levi, Oswald Wirth and Papus retained the Tarot De Marseille image but added their own cosmic interpretation. Particularly They saw the Emperor’s body as a triangle with his legs making a cross. Together these form the symbol for alchemical sulfur and allude to spirit dominating matter ( now where does that sound familiar ... )

What's particularly relevant to Joseph is that Wirth changed the Emperor's legs slightly to be more like the astrological symbol of Jupiter.

Because of the Emperor’s association with the number four and the Hebrew letter Daleth (door or womb) occultists saw the Emperor presiding over the birth of all material things, then ruling the material world as Jupiter. The globe topped by a cross, a traditional symbol of the Emperor’s worldly and spiritual power, was reinterpreted as the astrological sign for Venus, emphasizing the concepts of birth and creation. The Emperor represents the creative fire at the heart of all beings; so he’s also energy trapped in the material world.

So how does this all relate to Joseph? Well as I said this doesn't drastically change the meaning of the card, but there are small details and nuances that you could interpret liken to Joseph. Like how the pose he's sat in originates from when tarot deck production grew in France. On the other hand, the connotations of Jupiter could be the way he did achieve his goal in a way in creating the mirror world — defying the rules of life and death itself. Since the Emperor also represents the creative fire at the heart of all beings it could also be alluded to Joseph's origins as a creative in his journey, and his wish to see something more than the dullness and dread of life.

There is a lot more to the card heritage of the Emperor and other parts I could have mentioned, but I decided to include these as the most relevant. I'll have it referenced in the end if you'd like to check it out!

Now I'll continue my insanity into what the Emperor card means in certain contexts.

Past

In the past position, The Emperor represents a father or other authority figure who laid down the law and set a firm definition of acceptable behavior for you. Perhaps you rebelled against him or his teachings, or maybe they helped to keep you out of harm’s way. If you are in a secure position now, you have The Emperor in this position to thank. But some people do abuse their authority and if you are alone and alienated after being witness to the abuse of authority, this card confirms that the blame is there. Often we are given rule over our world and mess things up ourselves. Other times, the trust that put us in the care of another is at fault when this person goes overboard and so The Emperor represents a tyrant.

Honestly I don't have one set idea of interpretation in regards to Joseph and his story in terms of the past.

The first thing that came to mind was his father. We don't know a lot of things about Joseph's family outside of Claude especially with his relationship with his parents. All I can think of is Joseph's 2021 character day art where there were noticeable cracks over his father and mother in the portraits behind him.

Considering Joseph is hardly in a secure position, it might be implied that something went wrong too with his parents. When he lost Claude he had no other immediate family that we know of aside from them, but until he was of age he still would have been under their care. Was there a certain pressure placed on him as the only remaining son of the Desaulnier family? Did Joseph feel perhaps alienated by his parents who may have tried to move forward much quicker than himself? These are questions that we can't answer yet.

The other "tyrant" of Joseph's past I had in mind could have been the person who lent him those books on the occult when he visited the unnamed manor. I already alluded to such a person bearing similarities to Henry and Dorian in my little ramble after finishing the picture of Dorian Grey. But again, there's nothing to he said for sure.

Present

When The Emperor is in the present position, you have the rule of law before you to guide you on your journey. This card is especially strong in the present position as it gives you an absolute confidence to move toward a goal. This can also represent the influence of another person in your life right now. Are you so enamored of a new friend or lover that you have started following the advice and lifestyle habits of him or her? Have you discovered a new hero in the arts whose work has expanded your consciousness to the point that it is hard to relate to people who have not had a similar reaction to this person’s artistic output? Is there a new teacher in your life who has changed the way you think? Perhaps a new person at work is transforming the way you approach your on-the-job goals. The theme running through all of these possibilities is that one way of seeing the world is coming to dominate the way you experience life.

I've highlighted that last part for reasons that I've already stated in this post. But that line in particular is pretty relevant to Joseph.

Joseph who could not run move on from his grief and instead fell deeper into it. Joseph who could never enjoy life the same without Claude in it and after seeing the horrors that death brings, in his brother's death and the revolutionary war that tore up everything he had ever loved and known. Joseph whose life was dominated by his grief, anger and anguish that pushed away those who might have loved and cared for him — even Elliott, at the very end, could not save him.

Future

The future position is an uncomfortable position for The Emperor. The days and weeks ahead are vague and quite affected by the smallest decisions of the here and now. The Emperor card demands to assert itself. When The Emperor card is here, anticipate a change to come into your life in a bold manner; expectations to conform in the way you carry yourself may be part of this picture. Regardless of the situation, understand that new demands to follow a specific behavioral prescription will be coming your way and coming in the near future. Prepare now to submit, evade or resist.

There's a number of ways you could interpret this and none are strictly right or wrong. A lot of which echoes much of the sentiments of needing control, disliking uncertainty and particularly change in general ...

It could also be interpreted in regards to the trajectory of Joseph's life after Claude's death — what became of his future. We have seen Joseph has gained a habit of self-restraint now — not truly speaking what's on his mind but rather speaking what he needs to achieve a means to an end. He's someone who does feel the weight of peoples' expectations on him and seeks to excel past them, and that particularly becomes evident post the tragedies of his younger years. He changes particularly in the way he carries himself, whether that be influence of his own grief or that new-risen demand as the Desaulnier's surviving son and the pressure he put on himself.

Final Notes

You made it to the end! You must be as crazy as me or smth damn.

Anyways this was an unnecessarily long ramble of me basically saying how perfect this card is for Joseph and his story and I'm sure there's so many other elements I missed out and failed to convey. But this is all for fun! Don't take my words as law.

I kind of want to do some more for a few of my favs so ..

[scoobydoodean]

I don't mean to talk out of my ass, and am saying nothing about how alcoholism works in the real world, but when it comes to the fictional world of the show I really don't think they ever meant to imply Dean has a dependency issue when it comes to alcohol. I think what the show is actually doing is using short hand for either "Dean is in a bad mental state and self medicating" or, separately and not related to that, is using alcohol as a glamorized "cowboy who can put away his liquor" shorthand. For contrast, I'm watching House right now and (regardless of if it does a good job depicting addiction, which I feel absolutely unqualified to comment on) it does want the audience to understand that House is an addict.

I think the issue is there is a lot of room to bring your own personal experiences with alcohol to interpreting the show, and obviously if those have been bad it's easy to apply that to Dean, who does drink frequently in show. As do Sam, Cas, Bobby, Rufus, Ellen, etc. I don't know why people focus in on Dean specifically, though.

I think the funniest thing about this disk horse (which I consider to be over btw—using this as a springboard for closing thoughts) is that I never said at any point that Dean has never abused alcohol. I didn't even say there's no point in the show at which he can be described as an alcoholic (Dean describes himself as one in 10.12 "About A Boy"). I didn't even say I would never believe that Dean has ever driven drunk ever in his entire life, or that headcanoning that Dean has driven drunk before at some point is somehow some horrible evil thing.

All I did was respond to mail asking me if I remembered times in the actual show where Dean was shown drunk driving, because my anon heard a claim that it is shown to us "All of the time" in the actual show, and didn't remember that, and they were looking for someone with a more recent memory who could corroborate. So I said I don't remember that happening explicitly in the show either, and invited people to provide examples if they remembered an example.

I think if the show wanted to say Dean is a frequent drunk driver— specifically—the show would show me Dean being a drunk driver. It wasn't a problem for the show to quite overtly show me Sam driving drunk in 4.09—it wasn't something they shied away from showing. If (to your point—which you are absolutely right about) alcohol is used as a signal of our characters current mental states (Bobby in 4.01, Sam in 4.09, Cas in 5.17, Dean in 10.22, etc) then there's no reason the show would refuse to simply show me Dean being a frequent drunk driver. I'd be happy to explore it if I thought frequent drunk driving was a genuine facet of Dean's character. I just don't think it is, because the show doesn't show me that. And people can say all day long that "Dean drinks a lot" + "Dean has a car and is often in the drivers seat" = "Dean is a frequent drunk driver" until they're blue in the face. I am still holding out my hand, palm up, waiting for an actual example instead of whiney voices crying and whining insisting it simply HAS to be true because they think it should be.

I think you're right at the end of the day that the show isn't worried about Dean being an alcoholic as much as the show uses upticks in each character's drinking to indicate they're going through something—you're 100% right there. I also understand and respect that some people legitimately—with well-meaning intent—want to explore Dean's relationship to alcohol, because it's absolutely in theme imo and I think there's more attention ultimately put on it with Dean than any other character (though this is not true up to season 4 in my current rewatch). I just can't say I'm sitting here wringing my hands over Dean's relationship with alcohol in the actual canon of the actual show. I'm just not. The fact is, our characters have extremely limited options in terms of coping tools, and have trauma more extensive in breadth and length and diversity than anyone in real life has experienced ever, and are almost perpetually existing in a war zone. The fact that they self-medicate in various ways in order to cope isn't remotely surprising and I don't think there's anything shameful and evil about it either especially given their circumstances and utter lack of options. I just also... don't think Dean is a frequent drunk driver.

[anachrosims]

I had an epiphany about the greige luxe aesthetic disk horse and I’m here to share it:

Aesthetics are (mostly) neutral things, provided the aesthetic itself isn’t evoking/promoting an ideology that’s rooted in bigotry and/or harming other people. You’re allowed to like greige luxe, which is what I am personally going to call it from now on. Basically, an aesthetic on its own is not good/evil, it didn’t kill your sensei, etc.

Trends, however? Oh, my friends in Christ! My Dear Honeys and Bunches of Oats! Here’s where it gets fun, because trends imply a group of instances within a period of time. A trend is something you can chart out using a graph to say, “this style is being used X (how much it’s used) over Y (a period of months/years).”

When people gripe about the greige luxe nightmare, it’s because we’ve been experiencing it in a gradual crescendo for well over a decade. When a person gripes about a trend, it isn’t a personal attack against people who happen to genuinely have that personal taste, though I’m sure it can often feel like one.

 The problem in this specific case is that greige luxe has a lot of cultural baggage rooted in classism (this aesthetic has been promoted by companies sponsoring overpriced brands--looking at you Magnolia Home) and the diluting (literally) of other styles into being watered down. It’s taken the sleek and often fun pop of midcentury, Scandi, and midcentury modern and even rustic styles and literally neutralized them, sanding off the “rough” edges to make it all more appealing to a wider audience. 

Don’t believe me? Check out this article from the Guardian from 2022, which discusses that “... the origin of this great wave of grey goes back through centuries of western culture to a longstanding prejudice against bright colors, as explored by the artist David Batchelor in his 2000 book Chromophobia.” It goes on to explain, “Goethe’s Theory of Colors, published in 1810, maintained that bright colors were suited to children and animals, not sophisticated adults. ...  Still today, words such as ‘lurid’ and ‘garish’ have negative connotations. ‘Color is often represented as feminine, or Oriental, or primitive, or infantile, rather than grown-up and philosophical and serious … and it’s clearly indexed to issues of race, culture, class and gender,’ says Batchelor.” 

The article further elaborates on this by comparing the trend to what is associated with “’refined taste’”-- “’...a desire for the muted, the minimal, the sparse...’ Over the past 15 years, ‘what we have seen is a move from the yellow end of the spectrum to the cooler one – from beige, to greige’, amounting to what Fox calls ‘a desaturating effect’ across culture.” (Context: British art historian James Fox, author of The World According to Colour.)

As for the Sims community? Well... I personally associate the greige trend with permapaywallers and even well-known early access (but contraversial) creators following it excessively, leading popular builders to make lots based almost entirely around this greige luxe nightmare. In addition to cultural baggage, it’s now got community baggage heaped on, and I expect that’s what’s led to the visceral reaction we’re seeing. Basically in the Sims community, greige luxe is a whole thing associated now with appropriated styles that have been watered down, commodified, and associated with “upper class refinement”, especially to the detriment of variety and vitality.

The article does also point out that as society has become more and more polarized, the trend has grown, “...[s]ince the mid-2010s especially, people have sought not to be energized by their homes – but soothed.” And yeah, that tracks-- people want calm, want simple. And that’s okay! I myself genuinely like soothing rooms, color schemes that are softer--neutrals and pastels and washed-out rustica with a soft pop of color here and there. Absolutely lovely.

I also think there’s merit to wanting something more uplifting, and the article references things like recent tentative trends toward more color, like interior designs leaning for warmer tones, red dining rooms coming back into vogue, and even Apple’s more colorful line of products: “It suggests that post-pandemic people are prioritising not serenity in their homes, but joy.”

To bring it all back home: Yeah, like what you like. Just please try to understand that trend fatigue and changing times can and will lead people to yearn for something different, and it never hurts to branch out into new palettes and decor styles. While I understand the “mass appeal” of simple neutral colors and sleek styles, my own personal happiness needs a bit more levity, more vitality, lest I feel washed out and uninspired.

(I do recommend reading the article; it isn’t an actual indictment of greige, but rather a discussion illustrating opinions both for and against and the history of the “neutral” trend.)

Further suggested reading: How Are Color Trends Decided? Article from DraperyStreet in 2017, & Color Trend Predictions for 2023, from LuxeSource in 2022, & Greige, the Color That’s Taking Over Pinterest, from Business Insider in 2015.

[landofzero-archive]

Battle on the Sugoroku Board - The Die Has Been Cast 3

(Location: Meeting room)

Ibara: Firstly, concerning the basic rules for the “Battle of the Sugoroku Board”. The “Battle of the Sugoroku Board” is a new variety show project in which there is neither the concept of turns nor the concept of a goal.

You’ll move around as you please in a massive set, battling idols from the enemy team based on the throw of dice– this is what the project called “Open World Sugoroku” is.

Hinata: I was surprised when I saw the pictures of the set, though. Seems like online programs have huge budgets, huh~ It looks like it’s pretty large-scale.

To be honest, the set feels a lot bigger than those of the majority of other TV shows. But even then idols from other major agencies aren’t participating, huh?

Ibara: Ahaha. You’ve completely fallen for the snare, Hinata-kun!

Hinata: Eh?

Ibara: It might look luxurious, but it’s recycled from the set of the end-of-year special program that would otherwise be disposed of. Since it’s meant to be broadcast for the overseas audience, we can cheat their sense of seasonality.

The ES idols who were furiously dedicated to “SS” would have no way of knowing.

Of course, it’s been repainted so that it would not be amiss even from a living room.

Madara: Overseas,  there is the Lunar New Year……There’s a culture of celebrating a full-blown New Year in February, you knoow. For the overseas audience, this would be the focus. (1) 

Hinata: Eh~, I was kind of impressed, but now the feeling’s gone.

Ibara: From the outset, since this is a developing media, we can’t bet on a large budget for it.

Natsume: “Open World Sugoroku”......I was worried that jusT the name was going to be an exaggeration.

But you caN say that it’s what it says on the tin. (2) If that’s the case, I have nO objections.

Arashi: Yes. It really is a decent project plan. But I’m a little concerned about what the production director was saying.

Even though this show called it “Sugoroku”. The truth is, you battle through rolling your dice for the highest number.

Ibara: Yes. It was briefly touched upon in the project proposal, but I will explain it once more.

While on set, when you encounter an idol hailing from the enemy team, a “Dice Battle” will commence. Both sides will roll their dice, and the side that rolls the highest number wins.

Defeated idols will be in “State of Surrender”, and will be sent to a cage provided on set.

Furthermore, at that moment, you will be made to choose between submitting all the money you have on hand, or to hand over the support items you have.

It’s exactly like being a prisoner of war. Idols inside the cage can be revived by their friends using the on-hand in-game currency— which is called “Gold”.

Speaking of which. You can use the support items to check the location of your friends in the app developed for the “Battle on the Sugoroku Board”, so please make full use of it when you’re fighting.

Lastly, about the field we’re going to use. After a certain amount of time has passed, a majority of the exploration area will become a no-entry area.

Idols who enter the no-entry area will be disqualified, and there’s no use arguing otherwise. You won’t be able to hide forever, so please be careful.

…… And those are the rules of the “Battle on the Sugoroku Board”. Are there any questions?

Rinne: Hold on, Hebi-chan. (3) You haven’t explained the important part, right?

Ibara: What is it?

Rinne: Oi oi, even now you still don’t get it~ How coy ♪

It’s common sense that you’ll get a big prize if you win in a variety show like this!

Don’t put on airs and just tell us. It’s such a large-scale show. There’s a gorgeous reward prepared that’s enough to make me fall over, right?

Ibara: There isn’t.

Rinne: Huh?

Ibara: Unfortunately, there is no budget for something like that……

In return, there’s a “Punishment game” for the agency that loses!

Arashi: Oh dear. There aren’t any prizes, but you prepared a punishment game……?

Even if there’s no budget, isn’t this pretty harsh?

Ibara: Yes. I’m sorry I can’t meet your expectations.

Almost all of the budget is spent on production costs, including the set and idol-appearance costs, so there was not much budget left for prizes. 

Rinne: Nope nope, that’ll be a loss of earnings!

Ibara: Now, now, don’t say that! It’s painful for me too, but that's why online shows are a dream!

Existing TV broadcasts have limited programming time, but there are no such restrictions in streaming, and if it gets popular, it’s easy to turn into a namesake program.

What’s more, considering sponsors is not as annoying as over-the-air TV. 

In that sense, it really might not be a bad deal for Crazy:B, who faces fierce public criticism ♪

Natsume: Prizes, huH……. It might be better thaN being made to run with a carrot dangling in front of you, huH.

In any casE, if you do well on the show, the rewards will follOW later.

It’s more importanT for me to know that this program is being managed properly or not. 

Madara: It’s a low-budget program to begin with. It’ll feel weeeird if we get all excited about getting stuff.

It’s not a bad thing to play to avoid Punishment games once in a while.

Arashi: That’s fine, but I want to know what the Punishment game will be……?

It definitely won’t be anything we would say is a no go, right?

If it’s like a modern program, there’d be something like ‘compliance’ or something. Are the net shows fine? They won’t make us do weird things like in those old shows, will they?

Hinata: Oh yeah~ I’m worried too.

I haven’t seen stuff like that on TV shows lately, so I think it should be fine.

Even though I heard there was Punishment game that didn’t suit the times happening, like when someone had to parade around town while crossdressing— ♪

Ibara: Hinata-kun, what are you talking about?

Hinata: It has nothing to do with you, Vice Pres! It’s about an old TV show!

Ibara: ……Ahem! (clears throat)

Anyway. If I get mixed up in a cruel Punishment game, it’ll be like putting the cart before the horse, therefore I will take up the responsibility of supervising it.

Let’s have fun fighting and make a variety show that could be enjoyed with laughter in a Japanese style living room.

There aren’t any other questions, I take it? This concludes this joint-office project briefing session.

I’m looking forward to meeting all of your energetic selves on the day of recording. May the fortunes of war be with you (Good Luck )...... ♪ 

TL Notes: 1. The first meaning of the word Madara used here is ‘inner citadel’ (Honmaru). In olden Japan, a fortress is formed of an outer citadel and an inner citadel. To conquer the citadel, you would have to conquer the inner citadel, as that was where the lords resided and ruled from. It was also the final line of defense.

2. 名は体を表すlit. Names and nature do often agree. I.e no contradiction.

3. 蛇ちゃん lit. ‘Snake-chan’, but known as Snakeyboy by the fandom.

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[queerprojectionist]

Skinamarink (2022)

Before we begin today’s text, a little housekeeping. For the month of October, and as often as I can manage, I will be posting content based on horror and horror-adjacent films, after which we’ll transition to a more balanced mix of cinematic confections. As I’ve made clear in previous posts, I don’t write “movie reviews” here. I do a deep dive and analysis of themes and filmmaking choices. I share personally wether or not this worked for me, but I do not provide a final score or a thumbs up or down for any particular film. I provide context, you decide if you can dig it.

(Can you DIG IT?) 

Most importantly, I will be going after what I consider to be a glut of tone-deaf cis-het men writing reviews on aggregate websites that pan anything vaguely or remotely challenging to their heterogeneous world view on patriarchy and women, and examining queer and feminist film from a unique trans-feminine lens. Because no assessment of media is completely unbiased, and anyone who claims their opinions are, is selling you swampland in Florida. So I offer you my own unique, and certainly biased, takes on cinema. 

With all that addressed, let’s dive in. 

Skinamarink (2022)

This film has not been received all that warmly by audiences, and I can see why; this film is work. Filmmaker Kyle Edward Ball takes us on a found-footage-like journey through the eyes of two young children, Kevin and Kaylee, all of it filmed in his childhood home in Edmonton, Canada. It’s an incredibly intimate exploration of childhood fears and abandonment, and how they alter a child’s perception of reality. And speaking as someone with a fair amount of childhood trauma, films like this can be very uncomfortable, if you’re not ready to look inward on your own experiences and question your perception. 

However, if you’re willing to be patient, there are rewards. Bathed in the low-light camera noise of your father’s VHS camcorder, and underscored by a persistent soundtrack of crackle and pop, the house is disquieting. You spend a lot of time looking at camera angles and empty flat spaces that don’t feel natural. And the longer you spend inside of it, the more you start questioning your own perception of reality. The atmosphere here is gorgeous, and despite the pacing suffering a little while we take all that in, I found myself extremely alert and nervous, holding my breath, scanning the endless sea of distortion, trying to get ahead of the film so I knew what was coming. Hints the film doesn’t really give you. 

I freely admit to finding some fun in found-footage horror, but in every film I’ve seen that employs it, you end up feeling like an additional character with no voice or control over the proceedings. You feel detached. For some, that is part of the appeal. Skinamarink doesn’t feel like that. When I watch a movie like Paranormal Activity, I’m keenly aware I’m watching security tape footage. It’s dry. The camera’s unaffected eye and the presence of a frame timer remind you that what you’re seeing is reality. 

Not so here. Instead of waiting for the inevitable to begin manifesting as the film progresses, you’re thrown into its distorted reality almost immediately. Time stops mattering. You are not watching from the outside looking in. You are sitting in the room trying desperately to explain away the moving toys, the banging and crashing in dark and empty rooms, and the presence of voices, but without anything to tether you. And despite ample opportunities to give you a heart attack while you’re six inches from the screen scanning the camera noise, the film restrains itself to only a few well-executed jump scares, which again take the form of reality distortions, rather than full on hallucinations. 

Many horror films rely on drawing out the reveal of the ethereal antagonist to keep your attention, but Ball doesn’t do that here. There is never any question as to whether something else is present. The question is instead, what does it want? The entity only manifests taking the form of other objects or characters, such as Kevin and Kaylee’s mom and dad in one extremely unsettling scene. This is also where the exploration of abuse begins to take shape. After isolating them from the outside world, the entity speaks to both children, and if they refuse to play, it forces harm on them. Abusers will often isolate their victims, and harm them when they refuse to play along, too, and so the effective plot of the film follows the subjugation of both children to the entity’s demands. It does this slowly, layer by layer, until we arrive at the reality distortion’s final form.  

If you’re willing to give it a chance, Skinamarink can take you places you really don’t want to go. I think to really understand it, you have to come from a place of trauma yourself. This could have been another cheap haunted house with creepy children rehash, but Ball gives us something better. By interspersing the off-kilter establishing shots with slow, creaky first person viewpoints, he takes us into the minds of the kids at the centre of the tale in a way I haven’t seen since Guillermo Del Toro’s Mama. And to have done this on $15,000 in 2022, is quite the feat. For comparison, The Evil Dead cost $375k to make back when a Coke only cost a quarter. 

If you need your horror fast-paced and full of screams, you’re probably not going to get this one, but if you’re willing to take your time and let yourself be vulnerable, this is a nightmare worth having, ideally with the lights off. 

[digitalcommunitiesphamphuonglinh]

// Week 9: Gaming //

Exploring the Intersection of Gaming Communities, Live Streaming, and Parasocial Relationships

As a result of both technical developments and the increasing number of people who like to play games online, the online gaming industry is thriving in today's digital world. As a people, we live in what academics call a "gameful," "ludified" civilisation, where gaming cultures are essential manifestations of our culture (Walz & Deterding 2015; Sutton-Smith 2001).

Gaming has always been social, encouraging players to meet in person and share experiences, from the first days of arcades to the emergence of local area network (LAN) parties (Newman 2012; Jansz & Jansz 2005). It seemed, though, that the social component of gaming waned as the medium shifted towards being played more alone in people's living rooms. However, a new channel opened up with the introduction of video game streaming, reigniting the communal fibre of gaming culture.

According to Ritterfeld, Cody, and Vorderer (2009), pp. 67-82, video game (VG) communities have evolved into active online gathering places where people come together for common interests and form groups voluntarily, without any official oversight. These groups go beyond the internet and combine the virtual and physical environments to form what academics call "third spaces" for socialising (Handberg 2015; Bourgonjon & Soetaert 2013). The ideas of personal connection and shared information sharing are fundamental to this dynamic and help to characterise VG communities as places where people may come together to learn and socialise (Ritterfeld, Cody & Vorderer 2009, pp. 67-82). Participants not only discover common ground but also participate in instructional activities similar to those of learning communities within these online settings.

With live streaming at its core, this convergence is all about gamers broadcasting their games for others to watch and engage with in real time. By allowing streamers and watchers to form parasocial ties, this activity has brought back the social spectating aspect that is inherent to gaming. In this Tumblr post, we explore the complex dynamics of gaming communities, live streaming, and parasocial interactions. We look at how these phenomena impact gaming culture today and how they change the way people engage online. Come with me as we explore the intriguing junction of human connection, community, and technology. 🎮✨

The Emergence of Live Streaming: Gaming Communities and Interactive Media

With the massive influx of consumers to live-streamed gaming sites like Twitch in recent years, the online entertainment landscape has experienced a dramatic change. Reasons for this meteoric rise in popularity include people's insatiable need for interactive media experiences, the abundance of user-generated material, and technological developments (Sjblom & Hamari 2017). Twitch and similar services have had meteoric rises in popularity, with the number of users tripling annually and reaching over 100 million monthly. As of 2023 (according to Advanced Television), Twitch had a staggering 74% market share, demonstrating its continued dominance in the global streaming audience, even though the number of streamers has fluctuated.

The live broadcasting aspect of video game streaming facilitates a unique relationship between content providers and consumers, which is at the core of this phenomenon. In contrast to conventional modes of media consumption, live streaming provides a dynamic exchange platform wherein the conventional viewer assumes the responsibility of generating content while engaging in extensive dialogue (Cha et al. 2007).

Platforms such as Twitch, Mixer, and Afreeca TV have made live streaming more accessible, enabling users to share events and interactions in real time with audiences all over the world. There has been a meteoric rise in the number of people watching streamers, especially those who play video games live and engage with their viewers (Ferchaud et al. 2018).

The combination of high-fidelity audiovisual information delivery with low-fidelity text-based conversation is what makes live streaming so unique; it's a dynamic and engaging experience for everyone involved (Hamilton, Garretson & Kerne 2014). Live streaming, which was once only available for game content, is now a staple of contemporary gaming culture and has grown to include many other types of broadcasting (Li et al. 2018). Live streaming services, such as Twitch, encourage participation in communities where users share interests, learn from one another, and build relationships—a phenomenon that has led some to call these spaces virtual third places. A sense of authenticity and closeness is enhanced for numerous individuals through live broadcasting, which provides access to the unaltered lives of streamers (Tang, Venolia & Inkpen 2016).

Younger age groups, specifically, incorporate live streaming into their everyday schedules as a method of connecting with acquaintances and engaging in social interactions (Lottridge et al. 2017). People watch live streams for a variety of reasons, including enjoyment, socialising, learning new things, and satisfying social needs (Hilvert-Bruce et al. 2018).

The importance of parasocial relationships in livestream enjoyment is highlighted by Wulf, Schneider, and Beckert (2018). Elements like the anticipation of game results and participation in the chat function contribute to this satisfaction. As the analysis of parasocial relationships in live streaming progresses, the complex interaction between content creators and their audience becomes more apparent, significantly influencing the framework of online entertainment.

The Role of Parasocial Relationships in Live Streaming

One reason live streaming is so popular is that viewers have an inherent desire to learn new strategies for playing games by watching the shows and listening to the host's commentary. Conversely, individuals who watch televised sports and entertainment programmes have "an inherent desire to establish interpersonal relationships" (Hoffner & Buchanan 2009).

According to Dibble, Hartmann, and Rosaen (2015), a parasocial relationship (PSR) is an intimate and one-sided bond that develops between a media personality or celebrity and their audience as a result of their frequent interactions in mediated reality. The potential for audiences and media personalities to engage in parasocial interactions (PSI) is enhanced through the interactivity provided by online environments, which is facilitated by functional properties (Labrecque 2014).

Reinforcing PSR can also be achieved through cultivating mutual awareness. When a game streamer recognises and/or mentions viewers during broadcasting, it may increase the perceived mutual awareness, in contrast to passive entertainment consumption. The ability to converse with viewers in real-time gives live-streamers like YouTubers and others a leg up when compared to more conventional celebrities (Hou 2019). Therefore, compared to other forms of digital media, watching live-streamed games is more conducive to the development of PSR (Lim et al. 2020).

The Intersection of Digital Citizenship, Live Streaming, and Parasocial Relationships

Having fluidly moved on from the topic of parasocial relationships and game live streaming, we now explore the fascinating confluence of digital citizenship, live streaming, and parasocial relationships. This fusion effectively illustrates the manner in which digital platforms reshape our emotional experiences and redefine our social landscapes. Within the domains of online gaming groups and live-streaming platforms, there exists an intriguing concoction of virtual relationships and human emotions.

A fascinating focal point in the dynamic realm of digital citizenship is the phenomena of live streaming and the complex interplay it has with parasocial relationships. The multidimensional nature of gaming communities is shown by the fact that games can be enjoyed both actively and passively, as explained by Sjblom and Hamari (2017). Live streaming systems such as Twitch also adhere to this principle, allowing viewers to establish relationships with their favourite streamers even though the interaction is inherently biased.

Gong et al. (2019) emphasised that people traverse complicated social dynamics within these digital environments, developing tiny friendship groups and affiliating with virtual communities. A fundamental human need for association and camaraderie drives the desire for socialisation and group-referent behaviours (Tsai & Bagozzi 2014). People feel more connected to themselves and their communities when they spend more time there, and the social and informational factors they encounter there only serve to strengthen that feeling (Dholakia, Bagozzi & Pearo 2004).

In the following figure, we can see how users, small friendship groups, and virtual communities are connected:

The rise of live-streaming platforms has intensified parasocial ties, in which viewers create close bonds with streamers and frequently feel affection and camaraderie towards them (Bagozzi & Dholakia 2002). Even if they take place in a virtual setting, these connections still satisfy a basic human desire for social connection. Nevertheless, a darker subtext can be observed in the digital realm, as highlighted by the YouTuber "Glink": an all-encompassing feeling of isolation. Paradoxically, people are becoming even more isolated as they seek refuge in the fleeting connections provided by live streaming platforms, despite the internet's once-heralded role as a means of escaping reality.

Conclusion

There are a lot of moving parts in this complex web of parasocial relationships, online citizenship, and live streaming. In light of our exploration of the internet, it is crucial to approach the consequences of our online engagements with a discerning eye, bearing in mind the precarious equilibrium that exists between interconnectedness and seclusion. At the end of the day, we can all benefit from healthier, more fulfilling online communities—not just gaming communities—by learning about and encouraging meaningful digital citizenship behaviours.

References

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Bagozzi, RP & Dholakia, UM 2002, ‘Intentional Social Action in Virtual Communities’, Journal of Interactive Marketing, vol. 16, no. 2, pp. 2–21.

Bourgonjon, J & Soetaert, R 2013, ‘Video Games and Citizenship’, CLCWeb: Comparative Literature and Culture, vol. 15, no. 3.

Cha, M, Kwak, H, Rodriguez, P, Ahn, Y-Y & Moon, S 2007, ‘I tube, You tube, Everybody tubes: Analyzing the world’s Largest User Generated Content Video System’, IMC ’07: Proceedings of the 7th ACM SIGCOMM Conference on Internet Measurement, Association for Computing Machinery, New York.

Dholakia, UM, Bagozzi, RP & Pearo, LK 2004, ‘A Social Influence Model of Consumer Participation in network- and small-group-based Virtual Communities’, International Journal of Research in Marketing, vol. 21, no. 3, Elsevier BV, pp. 241–263.

Dibble, JL, Hartmann, T & Rosaen, SF 2015, ‘Parasocial Interaction and Parasocial Relationship: Conceptual Clarification and a Critical Assessment of Measures’, Human Communication Research, vol. 42, no. 1, Wiley-Blackwell, pp. 21–44.

Ferchaud, A, Grzeslo, J, Orme, S & LaGroue, J 2018, ‘Parasocial Attributes and YouTube personalities: Exploring Content Trends across the Most Subscribed YouTube Channels’, Computers in Human Behavior, vol. 80, Elsevier BV, pp. 88–96.

Glink 2020, The Parasocial Problem with Livestreaming, 3 July, viewed 13 March 2024, <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GvYAVti8nbk>.

Gong, X, Zhang, KZK, Cheung, CMK, Chen, C & Lee, MKO 2019, ‘Alone or together? Exploring the Role of Desire for Online Group Gaming in Players’ Social Game Addiction’, Information & Management, vol. 56, no. 6, Elsevier BV, pp. 103139–103139.

Hamilton, WA, Garretson, O & Kerne, A 2014, ‘Streaming on twitch: Fostering Participatory Communities of Play within Live Mixed Media’, CHI ’14: Proceedings of the SIGCHI Conference on Human Factors in Computing Systems, Toronto, pp. 1315–1324.

Handberg, K 2015, ‘No Time like the past? on the New Role of Vintage and Retro in the Magazines SCANDINAVIAN RETRO and RETRO GAMER’, NECSUS. European Journal of Media Studies, vol. 4, no. 2, Amsterdam University Press, pp. 165–185.

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Hoffner, C & Buchanan, M 2009, ‘Young Adults’ Wishful Identification with Television Characters: the Role of Perceived Similarity and Character Attributes’, Media Psychology, vol. 7, no. 4, pp. 325–351.

Hou, M 2019, ‘Social Media Celebrity and the Institutionalization of YouTube’, Convergence, vol. 25, no. 3, pp. 534–553.

Jansz, J & Jansz, J 2005, ‘Gaming at a LAN event: the Social Context of Playing Video Games’, New Media & Society, vol. 7, no. 3, pp. 333–355.

Labrecque, LI 2014, ‘Fostering Consumer–Brand Relationships in Social Media Environments: The Role of Parasocial Interaction’, Journal of Interactive Marketing, vol. 28, no. 2, pp. 134–148.

Li, Y, Kou, Y, Lee, JS & Kobsa, A 2018, ‘Tell Me before You Stream Me: Managing Information Disclosure in Video Game Live Streaming’, Proceedings of the ACM on Human-Computer Interaction, Association for Computing Machinery, New York, pp. 1–18.

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[reglux456]

Energy Drinks

With its rare and mystical parts, the symbol is engraved within the minds of its audience. Organizations use their logos to reach out to their customers on several mediums. To achieve this high quality, the designer of the monster energy emblem, McLean Design, opted for a clear layout. The effect is that the logo can scale on multiple advertising surfaces without compromising its quality. In January, a authorities report discovered the number of emergency room visits involving energy drinks doubled from 2007 to 2011, reaching more than 20,000.

This drink is ripe and juicy and has just the right quantity of carbonation. If it wasn’t in a gigantic can with that horror movie-looking M emblazoned on it, I wouldn’t even realize it was an energy drink in any respect. We cracked open 34 cans and bottles to find monster energy drink the best Monster energy drink flavors. Red Bull accommodates caffeine, taurine, B nutritional vitamins, and sugar — all of which can provide a short-term energy increase (1, 5).

Monster Energy accommodates 10.00 mg of caffeine per fl oz (33.eighty one mg per one hundred ml). The Monster Beverage Corporation has been concerned in some scandals and controversies. Each time these negative stories showed up, the stakeholders discovered revolutionary methods to neutralize them. They have mastered the art of turning adverse tales into advertising successes.

Hansen's fruit juice smoothies include roughly 25% juice and provide one hundred pc of the recommended daily grownup consumption of Vitamins A, C, and E. In 2009, Monster Beverage launched Hansen's Natural Lo-Cal 64-ounce juice cocktails, in 4 flavors. In November 2012, the agency announced a long-term partnership with the Professional Bull Riders,[48] and at present sponsors several riders including Jose Vitor Leme, Cody Teel, and Derek Kolbaba. Starting in 2018, they grew to become the title sponsor of the PBR's premiership tour, generally identified as the Unleash the Beast tour. The firm additionally doesn’t differentiate between massive and small companies when it presents a grievance.

Monster Beverage, the maker of energy drinks, is exploring a combination with Corona brewer Constellation Brands, in accordance with people familiar with the matter. Only a handful of cases pop up in the scientific literature, though it is potential that such deaths are under-reported. The massive question is how a lot rolex deepsea of the blame for going to hospital can be attributed to energy drinks alone. Between 2005 and 2009, ER visits related to energy drinks went up tenfold in the US. But a minimal of forty four per cent of those ER visits have been as a end result of mixing energy drinks and one other substance, similar to alcohol.

North Americans eat extra energy drinks than some other geographic market in the world, with the European market shut behind. Plus, research shows that the Asia-Pacific region is expected to be one of the fastest-growing markets for the business, with a CAGR development of 5.1% by 2026, due to a more modern lifestyle and changing demographics. Monster incorporates 28 grams of sugar per eight.4-ounce (248-ml) can, which is comparable to Red Bull. Drinking simply considered one of these energy drinks daily can cause you to eat an extreme amount of added sugar, which is unhealthy in your overall well being (2).

Although PepsiCo would not release monetary information about particular brands, we will make some dedication about how Rockstar is poised to place itself within the company. This one ranked a little lower as a result of it really, actually smells like cologne to me. But if you could get previous Axe physique spray stink, you’ll be rewarded with a extremely tasty glowing lemonade. Another can of one thing to deliver to the beach as an accompaniment to your excessive water sport of selection. It’s like if Hawaiian Punch went to a bunch of Orange County punk shows in the ’90s.

Smoothies, Rumba Energy Juice, Energade, and Energy Formula, are minor merchandise. Monster owns Blue Sky Beverage Company, which manufactures several gentle drinks. Pasco County Schools, a Florida district simply tiger woods nike north of Tampa, also provides Kickstart drinks to high school students in its vending machines.

But Stephen Hegarty, a spokesman for the district, noted that PepsiCo, which owns the brand, marketed the beverage as an “enhanced gentle drink,” not an “energy drink.” PepsiCo declined to remark. Noting that the college offered Mountain Dew’s version, Kickstart, Ms. Fitzgibbon stated students opted for the drink not just for the energy jolt but for the benefit of buying for it through their scholar accounts. Consider monitoring the amount of caffeine and sugar out of your energy drinks. It might help you avoid energy and the challenges from too much caffeine. Because of the caffeine, kids or teens shouldn't drink energy drinks, in accordance with the American Academy of Pediatrics.

Likewise, the stock of the beverage firm Monster Energy has elevated 31 percent prior to now year. If the talks are profitable, it would be the latest beverage deal since Coca-Cola agreed to accumulate the remaining stake that it doesn’t personal in sports-drink brand BodyArmor for $5.6 billion in cash earlier this month. Fournier suffered from Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, a genetic dysfunction that causes unfastened skin and joints, and easily broken blood vessels. Since caffeine dilates blood vessels, Fournier’s underlying situation could have made her much more delicate to the results of caffeine. Monster packs a strong punch however has a clean, easy-drinking taste you’ll dig. Monster is the parent company of Hansen Beverages who produce a line of pure delicate drinks.

[billconrad]

Overcoming Critics

    The movie/book, The Princess Bride, has an excellent quote: “Life is pain. Anyone who says differently is selling something.” There is great wisdom in these few words.

    I will never be a big-time author, and I accepted this fate before I started writing, but I strive to be my best. The few people who have read my work have been kind with their sentiments, but there have been critics. The first negative review stated I was “too descriptive.” I immediately wanted to yell, “What does that mean?! How can a book be too descriptive? The point of a book is to describe something. That’s why it is called a book and not a rainbow!”

    I moped for a week and came to understand the issue. At my core, I am an engineer, not an artist full of flowery words. My descriptions were meticulous and constructed with care. I am improving at flowering things up, but I have a long way to go. I mean a long journey of discovery and breakthroughs. No, wait, I can do better…

    Let’s create a simple example of this issue. “The man walked into the room.” This simple statement evokes little in the reader’s eyes, but it was good enough for me. Here is a better description, “Bob noticed a man enter the room. He stood five-foot-eight with blond hair and was dressed in a trim blue suit. He had deep intent while scanning the assembled people. Bob became worried when the man did not recognize anybody, but there was little he could do about it.” Much better.

    Because this was my first work, I should have expected some pain because there will always be haters. Otherwise, everybody would write books. As an engineer, I understand negative feedback is more important than positive.

    It takes effort to be negative. For example, I could immediately write ten compliments about the television show Rick and Morty. That effort would be easy and fun, which is the definition of a positive experience. But what would those compliments tell a person who has never seen the show? I appreciate Rick and Morty. What do the creators gain by reading my compliments? My positive words would not help them improve their work but would provide a warm feeling and perhaps the drive to continue.

    Let’s look at a recent real-life example. I started watching the Liam Neeson movie, The Commuter, but could not enjoy the story. Maybe it was my mood, or I had no interest in watching a drama. After fifteen minutes, I stopped watching and gave it two out of five stars on Netflix.

    So, Mr. Negative. What feedback would I give the writers of The Commuter? How can I crush their dreams? Send some negative waves their way? The Commuter needed a shorter beginning to pull the viewers into the action. This plot was farfetched, and there needed to be a better reason for Liam Neeson’s character to overcome his good morals. The outside mystery person was distracting and should be eliminated.

    Wait a minute. I trashed a movie that hundreds of people had worked hard on. My flippant statements were all based on watching a film for fifteen minutes. Do I feel good about trashing their movie? No, that’s not my personality. The world already has too much negativity without me adding more hate. While my comments were honest and intended to be constructive, I would never post them.

    Now, hold on, Mr. Wonderful. I have written three bad reviews on Netflix. I completely trashed the movie, “The Thin Red Line.” I called my review, “Yentl meets Hamburger Hill.” Funny. Right? Why was I so cruel? I was looking forward to The Thin Red Line and went to the theater on opening day to watch it with my father. Half the audience had left by the end of the movie, and the remaining viewers loudly spoke of how bad the movie was.

    This movie was two vastly different movies slammed together. An awful poetry exploration combined with a WWII action-drama. I was so angry about wasting money that I took the time to write a scathing review and went out of my way to tell four friends not to see it.

    Did that angry review make me feel better? Absolutely because I knew my words might help somebody skip renting this awful movie. Let me be clear. I intended to tell people I had never met not to watch The Thin Red Line. That is the very definition of hate.

    Going full circle. What would the people involved in The Thin Red Line and The Commuter think about me? They should be proud to be part of a famous movie and ignore a bug like me. “That guy is a jerk and did not know anything about my great movie.”

    But then, the creators would have to wonder if the hater had a point. Eventually, they would realize that this criticism pointed out flaws. In time, the creators would appreciate the negative words. Yes, the pain would sting, forcing them to try harder on their next film.

    I recall a scathing criticism of my favorite band Rush, “tragically un-hip.” Why would a person write this derogatory comment? I guess they wanted to lift themselves. Rush used that brash statement as a badge of honor.

    I need to do the same, vow to have ticker skin and value negative comments. This undertaking will be a painful pill to swallow. So, bring it. Trash my work if you dare. I will overcome.

    You’re the best -Bill

    May 06, 2023

    Hey book lovers, I published three! Please check them out.

    Interviewing Immortality is a psychological thriller about a 500-year-old woman who forces a disgraced author to interview her.

    Pushed to the Edge of Survival is a drama, romance, and science fiction story about two unlikely people surviving a shipwreck and living with the consequences.

    Cable Ties is a classic spy novel about two hunters discovering that government communications are being recorded and the ensuing FBI investigation.

    These books are available in soft-cover on Amazon and eBook format everywhere.

[dieanywhereelseart]

hey i just read all of What Once Was Mine in one sitting! i know the last update was in 2020 but i still had to send you a message to tell you how much i love your writing! it was really fun getting to see things go from serious to silly, and i love how you handled both sims dealing with their past/future self and how nathans self destruction became apathy towards helping jon. also!! demiromantic sasha is literally everything i never knew i needed. just 10/10 everything!!!

tysm! I definitely want to get back to it, but it was honestly just a comfort project when i was in quarantine with my grandma so now with college and a job, as well as the end of tma, i haven't been able to work on it. i liked writing it as an experiment of pushing tonal changes. one of the most difficult things to balance in writing is humor vs maintaining tension, which is doubly important for action and horror. For wowm, the goal was to push the envelope as far as i could towards cringey, cheesy, romcom-type humor so i could practice swinging towards more meaningful conversations. I know i don't particularly write with the same style of humor as tma, but I'm glad it worked out for you! examining nathan and jon's relationship is honestly part of the reason why i made the story in the first place. like, the whole point of a time travel au is to examine how someone changes over time and how they react to those changes when directly confronted. its main appeal is in that unique kind of catharsis, and while it's hard to say if canon jon has the same apathetic tendencies as my interpretation for nathan, it does add a lot of spice that i enjoy. demiro sash my beloved <3 thanks for the ask! i'd like to update wowm someday, i already have a large chunk of a chapter that just needs finished and edited, but in case that takes a while i appreciate you stopping by my blog

[lyrebirdswrites]

Shrödinger’s Nobara

So we got an update on how Nobara is doing. It was not the update I wanted to see.

My first impulse was to consider this a point blank confirmation of her death. I still think there’s a high chance she will not be recovering, and I would advise all Nobara stans to prepare emotionally for the possibility that she really is dead if you have not done so already. However, I also think it’s possible to make a case for her survival based on the information in this scene and the context from previous chapters, and I’m going to do my best to do so. Hopefully I can provide some comfort to anyone who might be freaking out over the implications here like I was at first.

Megumi doesn’t say she’s breathing or we don’t know or even it doesn’t look good - he says nothing at all. That does not fill me with confidence. But he doesn’t directly say she is gone either. This is a good time to remember the cardinal rule of character death; it’s not confirmed until we see the body. I think until we actually have indisputable proof of her death, we should continue operating under the assessment Nitta gave when he halted the damage caused by her wounds - don’t get your hopes up, but it’s not a zero percent chance.

I don’t consider Megumi’s pessimism to be indisputable proof. It’s damning, yes. But he is also highly subjective, inclined to assume the worst, and not an omnipotent force in the narrative. This isn’t me saying that the only reason there’s ambiguity is because she’s definitely still alive—that would be a wrong assumption to make. But if Akutami is still in two minds about what to do about her, or if he knows but doesn’t want to tell us, this scene is a neat way of sidestepping the need for a definitive answer right now. There’s enough plausible deniability in the framing of this exchange for Megumi’s answer to be read as she’s 100% dead, OR as she’s alive but in super fucking bad shape and it doesn’t look good. Whichever result it turns out to be, the scene can work in retrospect either way.

Which brings me to my not-retroactive interpretation of Yuuji’s immediate reaction. I think he would have been way more distressed if he perceived megumi’s silence as confirmation that she was without a doubt dead. He pulls himself together remarkably quickly for someone who full on had a mental breakdown mid fight at the sight of her injury. In the comments section over on readjujutsukaisen (credit where credit is due, not my analysis) commenter Asinine said “I think Megumi's non-response indicated the severity of her condition. I think Yuji's reaction revealed his pain followed by hope (clenched fist) she'll pull through.” That makes more sense to me than Yuuji thinking she’s actually dead and only having I get it!! to say about it before we rush on with the plot.

I’d really like to read the original raw version of this chapter, because it’s worth noting that the unofficial fan translation phrased Yuuji’s question like this: how is Kugisaki’s condition? It matters whether his question is past tense or present tense, because that positions Megumi’s answer as either past tense or present tense too. Megumi could be looking sad because, past tense, what happened to her was bad. Or he could be looking sad because, present tense, her condition is bad. I think the nuance there definitely affects how we as the audience should interpret this exchange and consequently Nobara’s chances. If anyone knows where I can read the raw scans please tell me.

Speaking of Nobara’s chances—structurally and narratively there is still more than enough room for her in the plot. When she was first taken out by Mahito, I figured she’d be fine because I thought her frequent references to people ‘messing up her beautiful face’ and her argument with Momo about scars on female jujutsu sorcerers/sexism in the jujutsu world were foreshadowing her having to live with that massive scar and a missing eye. If Akutami wants to continue exploring themes of feminism and sexism, as he has indicated through his characterisation of the broader zenin clan, Nobara now has a unique role to play in that aspect of the story: being treated differently after getting scarred.

Similarly, there are some interesting implications when it comes to her cursed technique and the current arc. Theoretically, she could use resonance on any of the newly awakened sorcerers/vessels and do some serious damage to The Brain, because they’re all strongly linked to him through the powers he gave them. She might provide an avenue to attack him later via that method—or Akutami might be deliberately sidelining her for the duration of this arc with the intent to have her recover later, because he saw this massive plot hole coming and he needs to thin out (cull) the crowd of awakened sorcerers first so she doesn’t have such easy access to a really powerful weakness in a major antagonist.

It’s also possible that he saw the plot hole coming and is killing her to fix it. But if that was the case, he wouldn’t have said in one of his interviews that he hadn’t made up his mind yet whether she was dead or not (?? That’s the translation I saw iirc, but I can’t vouch for its accuracy because I didn’t personally translate or cross check it myself).

Every other character’s death has been clear in a very gut punch kind of way, but ever since Nitta showed up this one has been SO ambiguous the whole way through. In my opinion, this scene does far more to increase the ambiguous tension than release it. It’s too vague. Akutami has been pretty good about giving his characters a fitting send off up to this point. I would be genuinely surprised if he broke the news about one of the main trio officially dying via one page in one chapter which doesn’t even give a status update though words, let alone through an actual drawing of her corpse/grave/ashes/funeral. Which loops me back to the cardinal rule of character death: it’s not confirmed until we see the body.

And let’s face it—if Akutami plans to keep Nobara alive, I am 100% sure he would drag the reveal out as long as possible and make it look as unlikely as possible in order to inflict Pain™ on his audience. Of course, if he plans to kill her off, the situation would look equally grim. But you know he wouldn’t hand us her recovery on a silver platter. Things seem bad (and like I said nobara stans this is your wake up call to start preparing for the worst case scenario now) but that doesn’t automatically mean that they are as bad as they seem.

In summary:

[bryte-eyed-athena]

Afrofuturism in the work of Janelle Monáe

Ashley Clarke, a curator for the Brooklyn Academy of Music, defined Afrofuturism as “the centering of the international black experience in alternate and imagined realities, whether fiction or documentary; past or present; science fiction or straight drama.”

Themes of Afrofuturism can be found throughout the works of Janelle Monáe. Her previous albums like The ArchAndroid and The Electric Lady showcase this through the exploration of androids as a new “other.” Today I want to talk about one of her most recent projects, Dirty Computer, and the way it contributes to the conversation on Afrofuturism. Janelle Monáe released Dirty Computer as an album and a 48 minute long Emotion Picture to draw her audience into a visual and auditory world of her own making. The dystopian future she presents to us is very similar to our own current reality, except that the voices being amplified are those that have historically been silenced. People of color and the LGBT+ community are central in this story rather than pushed off screen. Dirty Computer is so powerful because it focuses on joyful rebellion, love, and freedom in an oppressive dystopian setting.

The project, as Monáe has shared, can be split into three parts: Reckoning, Celebration, and Reclamation.

Part I: Reckoning

gif credit: scificinema

gif credit: scificinema

The Emotion Picture begins with Monáe’s character Jane 57821 laying out how her society has begun to capture people deemed dirty in order to “clean” them of their supposed filth against their will. This is meant to produce beings that are stripped of all individuality and ready to conform to societal norms and expectations. Jane tells the audience that, “You were dirty if you looked different, you were dirty if you refused to live the way they dictated, you were dirty if you showed any form of opposition at all. And if you were dirty it was only a matter of time.” The dichotomy between dirty and clean has created a system where an entire class of people can be demonized and oppressed. This foreboding tone at the beginning prepares the viewer for the grim implications of the cleaning process in this universe.

Dirty Computers are strapped to a table and forced to undergo the “Nevermind” which is a program that deletes memories. It is a process that is horrifying because of what it symbolizes to the individual and entire communities of people. To erase someone’s memories is to erase who a person is. The character of Mary Apple 53, Jane’s love interest, shows us just how alien a person can become once their memories are gone. The horror of erasure is also something that marginalized communities have faced for centuries and continue to face today.

In an interview on Dirty Computer, Janelle Monáe said “I felt a deeper responsibility to telling my story before it was erased. I think that there’s an erasure - of us, and if we don’t tell our stories they won’t get told. If we don’t show us we won’t get shown.” Afrofuturism is a response to this erasure of black people and people of color in culture, history, and art. Monáe has made a deliberate choice to tell her story even if it might get erased because if she doesn’t do it then no one else will. Remaining silent would be to assist in that erasure and Afrofuturism is all about refusing to be erased.

This first part of the Emotion Picture is all a reckoning with the Dirty Computers and how they are pushed to the margins. The lyrics in Crazy, Classic, Life speak about how the same mistake made by two people on different ends of the spectrum of social acceptability is punished unequally. Take A Byte follows it with a more upbeat tone, but even then the lyric “I’m not the kind of girl you take home to your mama” speaks to a feeling of being outside social norms.

There are moments of light and joy that are counterweights to the dire situation Jane is in. These come in the form of her memories which are played one final time before they are erased. Jane’s life before she was captured was filled with exploration, youth, love and celebration.

Part II: Celebration

Gif credit: normreedus

Gif credit: daisyjazzridley

Gif credit: nerd4music

Dirty Computers seem to recognize that they are living on borrowed time and that any day could be the day they are forcefully disappeared. This is why they fill each moment with as much fun, life, color, and joy as they can. There are many scenes at clandestine parties where Dirty Computers live freely and openly despite the threat of drones or police that could capture them at any moment. It is important to have these scenes of celebration though because Afrofuturism is also about providing hope.

The future must be a hopeful one if we are to strive for it and Afrofuturism allows us to be creative in crafting our visions of a hopeful future. Even though Monáe’s future is dystopian, there is still room for hope and joy because those are the things that make life worth living. These Dirty Computers have to live their lives joyfully because they don’t know when they’ll be sterilized.

In the interview mentioned previously, Monáe added that “I had to make a decision with who I was comfortable pissing off and who I wanted to celebrate. And I chose who I wanted to celebrate, and that was the Dirty Computers.” The LGBT+ community, people of color, black women, immigrants, and low income people have all been mentioned as people Monáe wished to celebrate. This celebration comes intertwined with images and themes of rebellion as expressed in Jane’s memories. Screwed, Django Jane, Pynk, Make me Feel, and I Like That are the songs that embody celebration the best. Whether it's a celebration of sexuality, femininity, unity, or of self love it is all encompassed in these songs. Jane is shown connecting with others and being unapologetically proud of herself. We also see her falling in love with two people, Zen and Ché, and we see them love her in return.

Gif credit: thelovelylights

Viewing these memories and interacting with Jane seems to encourage the questioning of authority. The employee utilizing the Nevermind process seems to question why he should be deleting Jane’s memories at all. Mary Apple 53, previously named Zen, also directly questions their matriarch after speaking with Jane and realizing that she’s connected to her. It all culminates in a nonviolent escape attempt where Jane, Zen, and Ché reclaim their names, bodies, and their lives.

Part III: Reclamation

Gif credit: thelovelylights

The Emotion Picture ends with Jane 57821 and Mary Apple 53 freeing themselves, and their recently arrived lover Ché, from the facility. They escape without harming others the way they themselves have been harmed. By leaving they are reclaiming their freedom and their right to be proud of being Dirty Computers. They refuse the new names that were forced upon them and leave to rediscover the memories of the life they lived before capture.

It is a hopeful ending that plays into the themes of Afrofuturism. Even though both Jane and Zen’s memories were erased they still have the ability to create new memories and stories. Their ability to recreate their past as well as create a new future was not taken away. As they escape the song Americans can be heard in the background. The lyrics subvert the typical American patriotism expressed by racist white southerners. The trope of preserving gender roles and being a gun carrying american are satirized in these lyrics. America as a whole is being reclaimed by Janelle as a place for the people who have been marginalized.

Janelle sings “Don’t try to take my country/ I will defend my land/ I’m not crazy baby/ nah I’m American.” This sentiment is typically espoused by xenophobic americans, but when it is sung by Janelle she is saying that she won’t be forced out of America due to the bigoted beliefs of the people who hate her. She also pleads for the listener to love her for who she is which is something that has been denied to black women for centuries. The song ends with a powerful message of reclaiming America by Rev. Dr. Sean McMillan who said “Until Latinos and Latinas don't have to run from walls/ This is not my America/ But I tell you today that the devil is a liar/ Because it's gon' be my America before it's all over.”

This also shows themes of Afrofuturism since Monáe is reclaiming her history and is refusing to be excluded from it. She is asserting her presence and that of all the Dirty Computers by saying that they too have a claim to America. The Emotion Picture and the album are both a masterpiece of Afrofuturism art and music. Monáe masterfully weaves various musical genres and visual storytelling to show her pride in being a black queer woman. There is no other artist like Janelle Monáe, and I am excited to see what new worlds she will take us to next.

[cocastyle]

Wish — ONE

Pairing — Maxwell Lord x reader

Word Count — 7,234

A/N — and here is the first official chapter! I’m so excited to explore this storyline with you all and having an already established relationship between Maxwell and Y/N is going to make this story just that much more interesting!! let me know what you all think so far in the comments and thank you for the support I’ve already received from you all! it’s so greatly appreciated :))

if you would like to be added to the tag list, let me know!

W I S H

Wish Series Masterlist

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾   ONE   ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

"Welcome to the future."

The familiar voice of Maxwell Lord spoke through the TV, the sizzling sound of bacon on the stove and the soft hum of a girl's voice harmonizing with the commercial just like it did almost every morning. It was a natural occurrence for the apartment, the familiarity of it all providing a warmth to the place that Y/N herself couldn't describe.

"Life is good, but it can be better."

The girl picked up a small piece of already cooked bacon and took a bite, her eyes flickering over to the small TV while her other hand absentmindedly flipped the bacon in front of her. Y/N let her gaze wander over the man upon the screen, the corners of her lips perking up with each crunch of the bacon between her teeth while she followed every single one of his animated movements.

"And why shouldn't it be? Everything we've ever dreamed about is right at our fingertips."

He was smiling towards the camera, towards the audience watching on the other side. Maxwell Lord was a man who was destined to be a TV star in some shape or form, even if that meant a commercial. His charisma, his charm, his whole being was something the world was meant to see and Y/N had known that since the moment she first laid eyes upon him that Maxwell Lord was meant for greatness.

"But are you reaping the rewards?"

Y/N flickered her eyes back over to the bacon, smiling with satisfaction once she noticed it was almost done. She moved across the room to where pancakes were currently covered with pieces of tin foil to keep them warm. She pulled the tin foil off, tossing the discarded pieces into the trash before grabbing the extra plate she had ready and bringing it over to the bacon which she began to take off the pan one by one.

"Do you have it all?"

Y/N hesitated at that, the question ringing through her ears and swirling within her head. She was too busy thinking that she didn't even register the sound of footsteps until two arms were snaking around her waist, lips gently pressing against his neck and leaving a soft kiss  where the lingering ghosts from the night before still peppered her skin.

Yes, she wanted to say. I have everything I could ever want.

Y/N let out a soft sigh of content, her eyes fluttering closed as she leaned back against Max, her free hand sliding up into his hair while he moved his lips up her neck and towards her cheek where he left a gentle kiss. "Good morning," Max whispered, his lips brushing against her ears and making her shiver before he was burying his face into her neck while he held her close.

"Morning," Y/N replied a little breathlessly, not being able to help the effect Max always seemed to have on her. She could feel his fingers trailing down her side, gently lifting up the night shirt of his that she had thrown on so that his hands could glide across her skin. He held her waist then, his thumbs rubbing soft circles against her skin while Y/N struggled to pull herself out of the daze she was already falling into.

The smell of bacon was the only thing keeping her from falling into a mess right then and there and she didn't hesitate to pull the rest of the bacon off the pan and on to the plate. She then moved the pan off to the side, quickly shutting off the stove before turning towards her boyfriend—the one and only Maxwell Lord.

He was already dressed to impress, his usual suit hugging his body and his blonde hair styled back to perfection. His brown eyes shone down on her, twinkling as they always did when he looked at her. Then there was that smile, a smile that was very similar to the one on TV but with an extra component reserved just for her. He was a sight to behold, his beauty something that never failed to make her heart skip a beat.

Y/N barely had time to smile before Max was pulling her closer by her waist, his head ducking down to close the distance and capture her lips with his own. She instantly responded, her eyes fluttering closed while her hands reached up to wrap around his neck and pull him closer if that was even possible.

It was a simple kiss, one that still managed to make her breathless while also preventing her from forgetting the food that she had spent a while making while Max got ready for work.

Max pulled away first, his smile never leaving his face as he looked at her before he wrapped both arms around her waist and nodded towards the TV where his commercial was just ending. "You like the new commercial? Same words, just a different concept," he explained.

Y/N smiled and let her hand cup his cheek, her thumb gently caressing the skin there as she said, "It's perfect because you're in it."

Max jokingly rolled his eyes at that, pulling away from the girl in order to help grab the rest of the plates and utensils they would need while Y/N grabbed their coffee and a bottle of syrup for the pancakes. Max set his things down before pulling the chair out for Y/N to sit in. She let out a quiet mutter of thanks while he just pressed a chaste kiss to her cheek and sat down beside her.

The two were like a well oiled machine as they got their food situated, neither of them even saying anything as they automatically began passing things to one another that they knew they would need for their food. Before long they were already eating, Max letting out a small moan of delight before whispering, "Honey, you've outdone yourself again. I still think you should quit your job at the museum and open your own restaurant or maybe even a bakery."

"You only say that because you don't want to cook it yourself," Y/N teased, raising her eyebrows at the boy with a teasing smile while he simply winked at her.

"Maybe the half about me not wanting to cook is true, but the half about me only saying it's great because of that is a lie. You seriously know how to cook," Max insisted earning a small chuckle from the girl.

"Well I'm glad you love it so much and I guess you must be right if you've been able to stick with my cooking for almost three years now," Y/N admitted, noticing the way Max's smile grew a little when she mentioned how long they had been together.

"I'm always right," Max insisted earning a small eye roll from the girl which made him chuckle. He bit into a piece of bacon as he lifted up his watch to check the time. "Shit," he muttered, already turning to his plate and beginning to pile all of his dishes on top of it. "I'm sorry, sweetheart, but I really have to head to work."

Y/N frowned at that, having not noticed it was already time for him to leave. "Really?" she asked, attempting to sound curious and not whiny. "Is it already time?"

Max knew what she was doing and let out a small chuckle as he set his dishes in the sink with the intent to clean them later when he got home. "Sadly, yes," he told her. "And if my calculations are correct, you have about half an hour before you need to head to work and unless you want to work in my shirt all day you might want to get ready. Not that I'm complaining."

Y/N turned to him at that, rolling her eyes at the smirk that dawned his face as he not so subtly looked her up and down. She looked away with a sigh and stood up muttering, "I wish we didn't have to work. I'd much rather spend the day here with you."

"I know, sweetheart," Max sighed, taking one last sip of his coffee before rinsing out the cup and setting it in the sink. "But we have to."

"Life is good," Y/N said before pointing to her boyfriend half heartedly and making the face she was so used to him doing on TV. "But it can be better."

Max gave her a small smile at that before walking over and pulling her in for a hug, one hand holding her head against his chest while his other arm was wrapped around her waist. Y/N closed her eyes for a moment and breathed in, Max's scent instantly filling her senses and making her feel more relaxed than before.

Y/N then glanced up at the man who smiled and leaned down to kiss her. She instantly kissed back, her hands beginning to slide up his chest and inching their way towards his hair. However, before she could deepen the kiss and somehow convince him to skip work for the day, Max was already pulling away with an apologetic smile.

"I really have to go," he told her. "I'm going to be late if I don't."

"Right," Y/N agreed. "We're still on for dinner tonight after work, right?"

"Of course," Max assured her, smiling as she pressed one more kiss to his lips.

"Good. Have a great day. I love you," Y/N said, kissing him once more which in turn made Max chase after her lips to prolong the kiss.

"And I love you," he whispered before quickly pulling away and grabbing the last of his things. He went for the door and pulled it open before glancing back at Y/N who was standing in the doorway hugging her body with a small smile on her face. She lifted her hand and waved it ever so slightly in goodbye. Max smiled and sent her one last wink before disappearing out the door and leaving Y/N behind.

The girl stood there for a little while after he had left, her thoughts consisting of nothing but her boyfriend. She couldn't help but be slightly upset for this was what every morning was like,  Max rushing off to work while they were still in the middle of breakfast. And she knew she wouldn't be able to see him until that night.

Luckily it was a date night which meant he would get off early just to eat with her, but most of the time he would be at the office until so late that by the time he got back it would be time for them to go to sleep and repeat the whole process again.

The weekends were the only days she truly got to spend a lot of time with him, but those were also the days that they were in charge of watching over his son Alistair which meant she didn't really get to have him to herself very often. Y/N never complained about it, but sometimes she wished he didn't always have to rush off or wasn't always so busy.

She just wanted to be able to spend a little more time with him was all, especially at this time since he hadn't always used to be so busy in the three years she had been with him. Lately he had just been going through a lot of things at work and he kept referring to some project that he was trying to get started, but wouldn't tell her what it was because he wanted to surprise her when it was ready.

Max's reminder of work was what kept her from getting lost in her thoughts for too long and Y/N quickly went back to the kitchen to put away the leftovers and clean up the dishes. Once she was done, she went to hers and Max's shared room and got ready, throwing on a nice blouse, jeans, and heels like always.

As she put her earrings in, her eyes flickered over to the picture frame on their dresser, her eyes lingering on the photo of her and Max from a gala the year prior. Max was kissing her cheek, an arm wrapped around her waist and holding her close while she smiled towards the camera and kept a hand upon his chest. It was almost funny to think that back then she still hadn't even moved in with the man yet. Now here she was sharing an apartment with him and wishing for the day that he finally decided to pop the question.

Brushing away all thoughts of Max, Y/N checked her appearance in the mirror one last time before grabbing her bag and heading off to work. She had been blessed enough to work at the Smithsonian Museum for a while now and was probably one of the few people on the planet who really didn't mind working. It was just the having to get ready part instead of staying in bed that got to her.

By the time she reached the Smithsonian, Y/N was already looking forward to her day. She was so lost in her thoughts about what she planned to do that she didn't even notice the person trying to go in the door at the same time as her until she had accidentally bumped into them.

"Oh my, I'm so sorry," Y/N quickly said, snapping out of her thoughts and glancing to her side where she was met with a warm smile. "Oh, Diana, good morning."

Diana Prince's smile didn't waver as she looked to the girl. "Good morning, Y/N, and it's really no problem. I wasn't paying attention to my surroundings," she insisted.

"I assure you it was my bad," Y/N said with a small laugh. "I've just been lost in thought all morning and was kind of going through the motions."

"Is everything alright?" Diana asked curiously.

"Yes, yes, everything's fine," Y/N assured her. "I've just been trying to figure out my schedule for the day so that I'm able to go to dinner with my boyfriend tonight."

For a moment Y/N was sure she saw a flicker of sadness in Diana's eyes, but it was gone before she could fully register it was even there. "Ah, trying to juggle your work life and dating life can be hard," Diana agreed while Y/N let out a small sigh of agreement.

"You have no idea," Y/N said, the two girls chuckling softly before Y/N grabbed the door and held it open. Diana gave her a smile in thanks before walking inside. The girl followed after and was about to engage Diana in another conversation when she noticed that the woman was already gone.

Blinking, Y/N looked around for a moment before brushing off the interaction. After all, it wasn't unusual for Diana to disappear when the conversations became a little too friendly. Y/N didn't blame her. It was obvious Diana wasn't looking for a friend and she wasn't going to force her into any sort of friendship that she didn't want.

Y/N let her eyes wander around the museum as she headed for the back rooms, smiling slightly at all the history that surrounded her and the kids who pointed towards different exhibits in awe. It was only when she got to the back rooms that she reminded herself to focus, instantly heading towards the front desk where she began to pick up her papers for the day and any mail that had come in for her.

She was in the middle of flipping through her mail when she heard the sound of papers hitting the ground behind her. Y/N blinked before turning around, a curious look in her eyes before she noticed a blonde on the ground struggling to pick up her papers.

"Hey, Jake!" the blonde said, eyes locked on her coworker who was walking by at that very moment. "Jake, hi! Can you. . .can you. . .?" she began, but the man merely gave her a look before walking away.

Y/N rolled her eyes at Jake's behavior, not necessarily surprised since he wasn't exactly the kindest person there. She let her gaze shift back over to the blonde who was muttering to herself with a disappointed look on her face.

The woman didn't hesitate to set her stack of papers down before walking over and helping the girl pick her own papers up. The blonde blinked in surprise and glanced up, her eyes locking with Y/N’s as she sent her a smile and said, "Good morning."

"G-Good morning," the blonde replied, still stunned at the fact that someone was helping her and someone as beautiful as Y/N no doubt. Another pair of hands joined in and the blonde's eyes grew even more at the sight of Diana who flashed her a grin as she too helped pick the papers up.

"Hi," the blonde said to the two, still looking at them in slight shock. "Thank you."

"Diana Prince, cultural anthropology and archeology," Diana said as she reached out to shake the blonde's hand.

"Y/N L/N," Y/N greeted next with a warm smile as she too shook the blonde's hand. "Anthropology and curator."

"Barbara Minerva. Geology, gemology, lithology, and part-time cryptozoologist," the blonde said with a smile.

"Woah," Y/N said with a small laugh. "That's amazing."

"I kept busy in college," Barbara explained, quickly diverting her gaze as she grabbed the last of her papers and stood up. Diana and Y/B followed, each of them handing Barbara the papers they had managed to pick up. "Sorry. It's these heels, you know. It's stupid. I don't know why I was gonna wear heels. Scientists don't wear heels."

"Sometimes we do," Diana told her with a kind smile.

"Makes things fun," Y/N said, winking at the blonde. "And it might be just me, but I love the sound of my heels clicking down the hallway."

Barbara let out another nervous laugh, feeling slightly intimidated by the two gorgeous women in front of her who were both wearing heels. "Right. Right. Those are cool," Barbara said, pointing towards Diana's cheetah print heels. "I like those. Animal prints." She then did a small growl and Diana and Barbara both awkwardly laughed while Y/N let out a small breath and reached over to grab her stack of papers from the table nearby.

"Do you want to get lunch?" Barbara asked suddenly, her eyes flickering between the two women who blinked in surprise.

"I, uh. . ." Diana began, already sending the rejection that made Barbara's smile deflate a bit.

"Not now, obviously. It's morning. But later today, or whenever. Like, around. . .Like, at lunchtime?" she asked, hope still flickering in her eyes.

Y/N felt a wave of guilt wash over her and she gave the girl an apologetic smile as she said, "I'm so sorry, Barbara. I actually have to work through lunch today so I can get some stuff done."

"And I have a lot of work today as well," Diana said. "But maybe some other time?" Y/N nodded her head in agreement, both of them looking to Barbara who was obviously trying to hide her disappointment.

"Oh. Yeah, I'm busy today, too," Barbara muttered making Y/N feel ever worse.

"Great," Diana said, but before any of them could say anymore, their boss Carol came walking up, her fingers pointing towards Diana and Y/N.

"Ah! Diana, Y/N, do you happen to know who a Barbara Minerva is?" Carol asked, genuine confusion upon her face.

"Oh, hi, Carol. Hi!" Barbara exclaimed, forcing her smile on to her face despite the confused look upon Carol's face. "It's me. I'm Barbara. Remember? You hired me. Started last week."

"Oh!" Carol exclaimed, although Y/N had a sneaking suspicion that Carol really didn't remember her. "Gemologist?"

"Yes. And zoologist," Barbara added. "We had a couple interviews."

"Yeah. Well, the FBI are gonna drop off some artifacts later this afternoon," Carol told her causing both Y/N and Barbara's eyes to widen while Diana suddenly walked back over to the conversation.

"The FBI?" Barbara asked while Y/N let out a breath of disbelief.

"Wow," the girl muttered, knowing that whatever it was that the FBI had to bring in had to be good.

"Yeah. Yes," Carol told her.

"They're coming here?" Barbara asked, still in shock.

"The mall heist yesterday, apparently they were using a jewelry store as a front," Carol explained.

"Front for what?" Diana questioned and even Y/N found herself taking a small step forward out of curiosity and anticipation.

"Black market. Stolen jewels and art meant for private buyers. But we could use your help identifying one in particular," Carol explained, gesturing towards Barbara who smiled widely.

"My help?" Barbara asked before laughing. "Yeah, I'll help the FBI with whatever they need."

"Is that a yes?" Carol asked, obviously wanting to get the conversation over with.

"Yes. I would, um. . .I would love to assist you," Barbara told her.

"Wonderful. It's nice to meet you," Carol said before walking away.

"We've met," Barbara lowly called after her, her smile disappearing into a look of utter defeat.

Y/N watched the blonde for a moment before reaching out and placing a friendly hand upon the girl's shoulder. "Don't worry about, Carol. She treated me the same way when I first started working here," she tried to assure her earning a small grateful smile from Barbara in return. "I really am sorry about lunch, but I'll try and stop by later and talk to you for a bit if that's alright?"

Barbara's eyes lit up at that, her smile widening as she said, "Yes, yes! I would. . .uh, I would love that."

Y/N gave the woman a small nod before beginning to back away. "I'll see you then," she told her before turning and going to head to her office.

"Have a nice day," Diana said as she too turned to leave.

"Bye, Y/N. Bye, Diana," Barbara called after them, a small smile dawning her features all because of the two friendly faces that had made her feel not so invisible for the first time in a long time.

- - -

Y/N let out a small sigh of triumph as she leaned back in her chair, her eyes slowly flickering over the now finished work that she had laying on her desk. It seemed she was going to not only be off in time for dinner with Max, but now an hour earlier than she had expected. All she really had to do was go see Barbara like she had promised and then she would be free to go.

The woman had a little bit of a pep in her step as she got up and began to clean up her desk, putting away the papers that needed to be filed and sending the last couple of emails that she had written throughout the day.

It was when she was in the middle of filing the last of her papers that her phone went off. She didn't even bother looking at the caller ID as she picked it up and said, "This is Y/N L/N speaking."

"Good afternoon, Miss L/N. This is Raquel, Mr. Lord's secretary," the woman on the other end of the line said, her voice just a tiny bit shaky.

"Yes! Raquel. How are you, dear?" Y/N asked, not really paying full attention to the girl for she was too busy trying to file her stack of papers in her hand.

"I'm doing good, Miss L/N. Mr. Lord asked me to call you and deliver a message for you. He's really sorry, but he won't be able to make it to dinner tonight," Raquel said, her words making Y/N freeze almost instantly.

Raquel then went into this big discussion on how Max was held up at work and wouldn't be able to get home until later that night. Y/N could only stand there and listen as the girl rambled, her eyes closing as she sat down at her desk and leaned her forehead against her hand.

"Miss L/N?" Raquel's voice echoed through her ears.

"I'm here. I'm here," Y/N assured her before she let out a small sigh and sat back up in her chair. "Thanks for letting me know, Raquel. If you don't mind just letting Max know that we can just reschedule and that I'll see him when he gets home tonight, that would be great."

"Of course, Miss L/N," Raquel said. "Have a wonderful day."

"You too, Raquel. Don't let Max push you around too much, okay?" Y/N asked.

There was a small chuckle on the other end of the line before Raquel said, "Of course, Miss L/N."

Y/N smiled softly and pulled the phone away before setting it down to end the call. She sat there for a moment after that, momentarily glancing at the paperwork that she had so desperately tried to finish that day only for it really to mean nothing in the end.

Although, she really shouldn't be surprised. This had become an often occurrence in the past couple of months.

Letting out a sigh, Y/N got back up and made no effort to work quickly as she put the rest of the papers away. When she was done, she collected all of her things and made her way to where she knew Barbara would be dealing with the new artifacts.

To her surprise, Diana was already in there with the blonde, the both of them standing over a small box as Barbara muttered, "Here it is."

"What is it?" Diana asked while Y/Nnodded in greeting to a few of the workers as she walked over to the two girls.

"Um. . .Uh. . .I can't tell. Some light," Barbara muttered as she moved a lamp over the box.

"Whatever it is. It's kind of pretty," Y/N spoke up causing Barbara to jump in surprise before smiling once she saw that it was Y/N.

"Y/N, you came," Barbara said in slight surprise.

"Of course. I told you I would, didn't I?" Y/N replied, smiling softly at the girl who only blinked with a look of disbelief on her face as if she couldn't understand that someone had actually wanted to talk to her.

"R-Right, of course you did," Barbara laughed awkwardly. "Uh. . .I was just showing this to Diana. It's the artifact that they wanted help identifying. I think the technical term here is 'extremely lame.'" She laughed in defeat while Y/N and Diana both chuckled softly with her. "Um. . .It's. . .It's citrine. A classic stone used in fakes throughout history," Barbara told them, gently picking the stone up and sighing softly. "I can't imagine this is worth any more than $75. What do you think?”

"Fakes aren't my forte, but let me see," Diana said, taking the stone from Barbara and beginning to examine it. "Mmm. Latin."

"At least it's an antique, right?" Barbara suggested.

"Or a purchase from a stall on the Ponte Vecchio last week," Diana retorted. "You never know."

"I wonder what it says," Y/N admitted, carefully reaching out to run her fingers across the Latin words while Diana kept the stone in her grasp.

"'Place upon the object held but one great wish,'" Diana read off earning a surprised look from both Barbara and Y/N as the later girl pulled away.

"You read Latin?" Barbara asked.

"Yeah. Yeah. Languages are a hobby," Diana explained.

"Wow and here my hobby is watching TV until the sky is suddenly screaming good morning to me," Y/N muttered between laughs which Barbara and Diana quickly joined in.

"So maybe it's, like, a lucky charm or something?" Barbara suggested.

"Yeah, I guess. Strange," Diana said, letting her eyes flicker over the rest of the objects upon the table and the box the stone came from.

One of Barbara's coworkers Roger must have overheard because he walked over and placed his hand upon the stone before saying, "I really wish I had a coffee."

Y/N cracked a smile at that while Barbara laughed a little too hard for Roger's joke and said, "You're funny."

It was at that moment that another coworker walked in and said, "Hey, I got Erika a coffee, but she's out sick. Does anybody want this?"

Roger blinked before laughing and looking back over at Diana, Barbara and Y/N, "What? Yeah, I'll take one." He took the coffee happily and went to take a sip as he walked away, "Ooh, hot! Hot, hot!"

Y/N watched the man go, furrowing her eyebrows slightly before glancing back at the stone that was in Diana's hands. Barbara let out a small gasp of disbelief, "Did you see that? Can you imagine?"

"If only," Diana whispered.

"Hmm. So many things, I don't even know what I would wish for," Barbara admitted.

Y/N smiled softly as she stared at the stone in Diana's hand before lowering her gaze and moving to look at the other artifacts. She knew exactly what she would wish for if given the chance—to spend more time with Max and Alistair, the two people in the world who made her the happiest she had ever been each time she saw them.

"I do," Diana said, a distant look in her eyes before she set the stone back down. "Well, um, anyway, sorry to bother you. If you need anything, I'm around."

"Oh, yeah, I'm good," Barbara told her. "But thank you for. . ."

"That's okay. It's my job. And I'll look into it more when I have a chance," Diana replied.

"Okay. Well, thanks for. . .talking to me," Barbara added before glancing towards Y/N. "The both of you." She let out an awkward chuckle and looked down bashfully. "I'm. . .I'm sorry, uh. . .I mean, I'm fine."

"You know, we could go and grab early dinner and talk about exactly how lame that stone is," Diana suggested, her words making Barbara look back up at her in surprise.

"Really?" Barbara asked, her voice barely above a whisper and sounding so fragile.

"Yeah, I mean, citrine? Who are they kidding, right?" Diana joked.

"So lame," Barbara agreed between laughs.

"Dorky," Diana added.

"Lame," Barbara said. "That's, like, the lamest of lames."

"Yeah, let's go," Diana told her and Y/N watched as the two began to leave before biting her lip nervously and then running after them.

"Hey, uh. . .if it okay if I come too?" Y/N asked. "My dinner plans kind of flopped and I'd really like to make up for the missed lunch."

Diana watched her silently and Y/N knew she was thinking back to what she had said about going to dinner with Max, but Barbara was already smiling and saying, "Y-yeah. Of course."

Y/N smiled widely. "Great," she said, falling into line with the other two women as they began to head out the building. "Thank you."

And with that, the three made their way out of the building and off to dinner while Barbara silently thanked whoever was looking out for her for putting the two amazing women in her life.

- - -

Y/N had to hold back a snort as she leaned back in her chair, laughter shaking her body while she tried to ignore the fact that maybe she had one too many drinks than she should've.

"Wow. You're so funny," Diana said as she looked to Barbara, Y/N quickly nodding in agreement.

"Oh. Thank you," Barbara said a bit surprised seeing as no one had ever told her that before.

"My sides hurt," Y/N admitted, using her hand to brush her hair out of her face as her eyes sparkled at the girls. "I think my smile is now permanently on my face."

"I've got to agree with, Y/N. Wow. I mean, no one's made me laugh like this in such a long time. I mean, it's true, I don't get out much socially, but—" Diana began, but Barbara gave her a loo of disbelief.

"You don't get out much?" Barbara asked.

"No, not really. No," Diana said and Y/N had to hold back her utter of agreement for she knew how anti-social Diana could be if she wanted to, but she didn't want to let her know that she had noticed it.

"I'm sorry," Barbara laughed. "I'm just surprised. Because you just seem like the kind of person who's, like, always out. Like, people are asking you to go out all the time and you live out. You're just out."

The three laughed at that as Barbara began making hand gestures, "Like, you never get in. You just seem like you'd be really popular. And I would know because I've never been popular."

Y/N frowned a little at that, feeling a pang of sympathy for the girl who no one really seemed to give a chance to. "I wasn't popular much either," Y/N assured her. "It happens to the best of us."

That made Barbara laugh and Diana joined before saying, "I'm surprised you two haven't. You're both so personable. So. . .free. I mean, honestly, I gotta say that I envy that."

"What?" Barbara laughed in disbelief. "You envy me? That doesn't make any sense. Oh, my gosh. People think I'm weird. They avoid me and talk behind my back when they don't think I can hear them. I'm like, 'Guys, I can hear you.'" The blonde looked down at that, awkward laughs escaping her lips while both Diana and Y/N looked at her sympathetically.

"Barbara, my life hasn't been what you probably think it has. We all have our struggles," Diana told her.

"She's right. As much as I wish it were true, no one's got a perfect life," Y/N sighed. "Life is good, but it can be better," she whispered like a mantra.

"Yeah, it just sucks," Barbara said and Y/N chuckled softly at that. The blonde let her eyes flicker over to her new friend and she gave her a curious look, "So Y/N, you mentioned earlier that you were supposed to be getting dinner with your man, what happened if you don't mind me asking?"

Said girl let out a soft sigh, her eyes focusing on the glass of wine in her hand and the way the liquid spun as she slowly moved it. "He got caught up at work," she explained with a sad smile.

"You don't sound surprised," Barbara pointed out.

Y/N glanced up to find both women staring intently at her and she just shrugged. "It's happened quite a bit lately, but it's okay," she said. "He's had a lot to deal with, so I'm not mad or anything. I just miss him is all."

"I'm sorry," Barbara frowned. "I know it must be hard."

"It is," Y/N admitted with a sad laugh.

"How long have you guys been together?" Diana asked.

"We'll be coming up on three years next month," Y/N replied, a genuine smile appearing on her lips as she thought about what an accomplishment that was and how lucky she was to have Max.

"Three years? Wow. You must really be in love with the guy," Barbara teased.

"Yeah," Y/N said with a small blush, her thoughts suddenly being consumed with everything that had to do with Max. "He's the love of my life and he has this kid who is just the greatest. I'm very lucky with what I have. I just wish we were able to spend more time together, you know?"

"I get it," Barbara told her, reaching out to gently squeeze the girl's hand in comfort before glancing at Diana. "What about you, Diana, you ever been in love?"

"Uh. . .Yeah. A long, long time ago," Diana told her. "You?"

"So many times, yeah. All the time. Often," Barbara replied instantly making Y/N chuckle softly despite the ache in her heart that had reappeared at the thought of Max. "So what happened? Where'd he go, your guy?"

"He, uh. . .He died," Diana explained, her words making Y/N still. She couldn't imagine the type of pain Diana had to be going through. She didn't know what she would do if Max ever passed away. "But I still think sometimes that I see him up there in the sky. He was a pilot."

"Oh!" Barbara exclaimed.

"That sounds fun," Y/N told the girl. "I bet he was an amazing guy."

"He was all kinds of things, but he was great. It was true," Diana said.

"I get it," Barbara said, her eyes flickering between the two women who were invisibly now thinking about theirs guys. The blonde was quick to pick up her drink, smiling at the two as she said, "Well, cheers to us. Wishing us better luck, I guess."

Y/N smiled softly at that before clinking her glass with the two beside her, but she would only be there in spirit for the rest of the dinner for her thoughts would be on Maxwell Lord.

Just like they always were.

- - -

By the time Y/N got home from dinner, she wanted nothing more than to curl into the embrace of the man that she loved. She knew she should be mad at him for ditching her once again, but she knew what it was like to be busy at work and would never blame him for working hard like he did.

However, she couldn't stop the small pit of despair that was growing in her stomach once she got back to their shared apartment only for the lights to still be off and for Max to be no where in sight.

The girl let out a soft sigh before walking towards their bedroom, stripping off her work clothes in favor of something more comfortable before pulling her hair back into a ponytail as she plopped down on the couch to watch a little TV while she waited for Max to get home.

It was at least another hour before the door opened up, Max tiredly shuffling inside before closing the door behind him. Y/N could already tell that he was tense and she frowned before slowly getting up from the couch, her eyes trailing over the man as he took his jacket off and went to hang it up.

Y/N came up from behind him, her arms snaking around his waist so that she could hug him from behind. She felt him relax under her touch, a small sigh escaping his lips as he leaned back into her while she rested her head against his back.

He sounded tired, but she could still practically hear the smile on his face as he said, "Hey there, sweetheart."

"Hi, Maxie," Y/N whispered, pressing a soft kiss to his back. "How was work?"

"Stressful," Max admitted with a small laugh. "I'm sorry about dinner. I just had a lot I had to deal with today and I didn't realize how long it would take."

"It's alright," she assured him, but Max was already turning around so that he could gently cup the side of her face.

"It's really not and I promise I will make it up to you, alright?" he told her and although she knew he would only forget just like the other times, Y/N still gave him a small nod and a smile in response.

Max smiled and leaned forward to press a kiss to her lips, his arm slowly snaking around her waist and pulling her closer before he pulled away and went to sit down on the couch. He held onto her hand and dragged her along beside him, pulling her down into his lap as he wrapped his arms around her waist and looked to her with a small smile.

"How was your day?" he asked. "A lot better than mine, I hope."

"It was the same as every other day," she told him, her eyes closing slightly in content as he pressed a small kiss to her neck before holding her tight and resting his face in the crook of her neck. "Just a lot of paperwork as always. I met a new coworker today at work named Barbara and went to dinner with her and Diana."

Max hummed in response before muttering, "Sounds like fun."

"It was," Y/N said. "Oh, and we got a shipment from the FBI with all of these cool artifacts."

Max hesitated at that and pulled his head away from her neck in order to look at her. His eyes sparkled with curiosity as he asked, "What kind of artifacts?"

Knowing that her boyfriend was intrigued, Y/N smiled and continued, not seeming to notice the way Max looked off into space as she spoke. "Apparently the mall heist the other day revealed the jewelry store was selling stuff on the black market. We got a big shipment of all sorts of artifacts. I only got to glance at a few, but there was this one gemstone looking one that I saw with this engraving on it. Diana said it mentioned something about making wishes with it and—"

It was then that she noticed Max's behavior, the way he was just staring off while being so quiet she would've assumed he was asleep if it weren't for the fact that his eyes were still open. "Max?" she questioned, her gaze flickering over him until he finally seemed to hear her voice and blinked himself back to reality.

His eyes flickered her way and she gave him a confused look. "Are you okay?" she asked.

"Of course," he told her, sending that smile of his in her direction that made her heart skip a beat. "I just love listening to you talk is all." He pulled her closer to his body if that was even possible, pressing a small kiss to her cheek before whispering, "I love you."

Y/N didn't even have time to blink before he was closing the distance between them, his lips capturing hers perfectly while his hands slowly moved under her shirt before resting upon her hips. She couldn't help the way that her eyes fluttered closed and she knew her face was heating up due to the intensity of the kiss that literally came out of no where.

When Max pulled away, Y/N was sure her face had gone bright red, but thankfully the only light in the room was coming from a lamp nearby which meant that her blush was semi-hidden by the darkness.

"What was that for?" she asked breathlessly.

Max just shrugged with a small smile as he whispered, "I love you."

"Yeah, yeah," she chuckled, her eyes fluttering closed once again as he felt him slowly begin to kiss down her neck. She leaned back with a heavy sigh while Max smirked against her skin.

"I love you so much," Max whispered, his emotions heightened even more as he tried to process how his beautiful girlfriend had been able to help him achieve his dream without even realizing it.

Y/N let out a breathy laugh as she opened her eyes to look at the man, taking note of the way his eyes seemed to sparkle as he stared at her. "Oh, really? How much?" Y/N asked, smirking at the man who merely chuckled before pulling her up off the couch with him.

His eyes were practically flashing at her as he slowly began to back her towards their bedroom, his lips curving up into a smile as he whispered, "Let me show you."

- - -

Tag List

@blogforhoes @mrschiltoncat @haileyybird @vampgguk @buckysalefty @elfwoodfae @imcalledflorence @skullchik89

[becomewings]

The Most Beautiful Moment in Life <I’M FINE>

     BTS Universe Story Highlights, pt. 1 / 4

» pt. 2

Introduction

BTS Universe Story, a mobile game published by Netmarble, was released on September 24, 2020. While the majority of the app is essentially a sandbox and engine for users to create their own interactive stories, it also includes official and canon BU content. The first eight segments were introduced between the release date and December 2020, gathered under the title The Most Beautiful Moment in Life <I’M FINE>.

“I’m Fine” is half of the I’m Fine/Save Me ambigram introduced in the Love Yourself era. Notably, all of the BU content available in the game so far falls between events of the webtoon Save Me (also called HYYH0 in its logo) and The Notes 1—chronologically, that is, while bearing in mind that time resets to the morning of 11 April Year 22 whenever SeokJin fails to avert a tragedy among his six friends. I want to assure anyone who is unable to play the game that you are not missing any new, major plot beats from the overall BU narrative. Instead, the stories provide more insight into the motivations and consequences of SeokJin’s decisions in the earlier time loops, as well as more depth to individual characters and their circumstances.

The goal of this guide is to summarize each of the eight stories and highlight noteworthy details, especially if they are not yet present in other BU media. Within each story (which I often refer to as an arc, due to their character-focused nature), episodes must be played successively, but the stories themselves can be played in any order. I will present them over a series of posts in the order they are listed under the <I’M FINE> heading. The Prologue and NamJoon’s arc are free to play; the rest are paid content. Please note that due to the app’s Terms & Conditions, I will not include in-game footage here. The images in this guide are sourced from the official trailers/videos and the live action MVs as appropriate.

Content warning: contains references to death, suicide, suicidal ideation, child abuse, domestic violence, blood, homicide, depression, trauma, PTSD

This guide contains major spoilers and includes references to other BU media

Do not repost, copy, or quote without permission

Game Mechanic

Before diving into the summaries, I would like to address the primary mechanic of the game: the user’s control of character choices at designated moments in the stories. It’s a primary marketing point that the player can influence the progression of the narrative, with a frequent in-app tip also declaring, “stories’ endings can vary depending on your choices.” The latter is not strictly true—and it cannot be true due to the structure of the game. Choices are presented within most (not all) episodes, but each episode is an isolated unit: episode 2 provides the same content regardless of what you choose in episode 1. Since the consequences of your decisions are not cumulative, each episode reaches the same ending, and each decision inevitably rejoins the “main” story path (effectively reducing the script size).

So what is the point of this mechanic? While the system is not nearly as complex as what major platform titles are capable of nowadays (I suspect due in large part to the story creation portion of the game), it does foster a sense of interaction with the narrative that isn’t present in static visual media like comics or film. The episodes with choices also have incentive for replay to discover the impact of changing a character’s dialogue or action. Sometimes the differences between the outcomes are inconsequential, but other times you unearth new details, interactions, or memories that are missing in the other path.

I say this partially in reaction to all of the comments and tweets I read for the game trailers and even Smeraldo Book twitter’s choose-your-own-adventure style teasers with The Notes 2 excerpts released last summer. Many users expressed excitement, through words or memes, about finally being able to give the boys the happy ending they deserved. I don’t fault anyone for wanting that happy ending—I wish for it, too. But no matter what the rather overzealous marketing has claimed, I don’t believe that the canon ending of BU is ever meant to be in the audience’s control. But I do feel that this mechanism fits the BU narrative. It echoes the “countless loops” SeokJin has experienced in an effort to save his friends, the choices he must make at every crossroad, and the butterfly effect those actions have on all of their lives. I think it is reasonable to interpret the simple branching paths in the game as alternatives SeokJin has explored across multiple loops in his struggle to find the “right” way forward. I’d love to hear if you have theories of your own!

Prologue

The prologue is a brief episode introducing SeokJin’s repeated struggle and failure to save his friends. He wakes up yet again in his bed on 11 April Year 22, the beginning of the time loop. After reflecting on the tragedies that keep befalling the others, SeokJin realizes that he has only tried to fix the problems he can see. He wonders: “Have I tried to understand the root of my friends’ misfortunes? How much do I really know about my friends? Maybe I was never brave enough to confront their real scars and the worlds they’ve been living in. But I need to do it. Because it may be the key to saving them all.”

How to Offer a Hand

In this story, SeokJin attempts to prevent NamJoon’s arrest after he gets in a fight with a rude customer at Naeri Gas Station, his place of work. The first episode opens on the night of 11 April Year 22 with NamJoon curling his fists, glaring as crumpled bills lie untouched on the pavement. (The money looks similar to the shot from the I Need U MV.) SeokJin reaches for his shoulder, but NamJoon shrugs him off and strides away to punch the customer who deliberately dropped the bills for him to pick up. The gas station owner runs over at the customer’s furious shouts and orders NamJoon to apologize. He refuses, and police officers soon arrive and charge him with assault. No one listens to SeokJin’s protests that the customer started it first. The man sneers as NamJoon enters the police car. “Do you even have money for a settlement? Hey, you’re done for.” NamJoon is sentenced to prison again, and SeokJin hears glass shattering before the loop resets.

Rising from his bed on the morning of 11 April, SeokJin reflects on his failed efforts so far. He has hit the customer’s car, called for NamJoon in the middle of the incident, and stopped the fight himself, the latter of which caused his friends to avoid him later. The fight has even escalated; the details are unspecified, but the audience is provided an ominous shot of SeokJin speaking to a police officer alone at the scene. NamJoon is not the kind of person who would normally respond to that kind of provocation with his fists. SeokJin realizes that he cannot merely stop the fight but must discover and fix the true cause of it.

With this in mind, SeokJin heads to Naeri Gas Station during the day and tries to engage NamJoon. This is their first time meeting since they both returned to Songju, although SeokJin has experienced it in many loops already. “It’s been a while,” he greets (as he does at the end of the Blood Sweat & Tears Japanese version MV). Before SeokJin can dig deeper in their conversation, NamJoon is called away by his boss. SeokJin enters the small employee break room which serves as NamJoon’s living space when he’s not at the container, hoping to find some clues about his friend’s life. SeokJin locates something bundled in newspapers. If the player chooses to open it, he sees a strange shard of glass inside that may belong to a car or motorcycle headlight. He continues on, finding the book Cosmos by Carl Sagan and a notebook. SeokJin hesitates over the invasion of privacy but decides to read it since he needs all the information that he can gather. The journal entries detail NamJoon’s daily life since returning to Songju: his work at the gas station isn’t too bad despite the occasional rude customer; he purchased a book and hopes to get more in the future; he picked up a second job at a wedding hall to help catch up on bills; his brother NamHyeon got in trouble again, leading to more expenses; and his dad’s health has worsened, with hospital bills after an emergency surgery rising to levels that the family cannot afford. SeokJin knew that NamJoon was the de facto head of household due to his father’s illness but was unaware that it was to this degree. He feels sorry for NamJoon yet is also impressed by his maturity, for NamJoon never writes how difficult his situation is.

NamJoon arrives and asks what SeokJin is doing in the room. If the player chooses to answer “reading” instead of “just sitting there,” SeokJin privately observes that the conversation flows more easily when they talk about books. NamJoon says he must leave and declines when SeokJin offers to wait for him there. SeokJin knocks over a pile of books along with money and receipts as he stands. He thinks it is unusual that NamJoon picks up the books before the money. The books seem to be more than a hobby to NamJoon, holding special meaning. Walking to his car, SeokJin wonders if it is pride or determination not to falter that keeps NamJoon from journaling his grievances. He realizes that money is a constant source of frustration and misery to NamJoon, and that’s why he can’t stomach being insulted over the customer’s dropped money. SeokJin’s new plan is to prevent NamJoon from picking up the money. He also calls Palgok County Hospital and offers to pay the patient bill for NamJoon’s father. Anticipating that NamJoon will be angry if he finds out, SeokJin says the payer is Songho Foundation.

That night, SeokJin returns to the gas station with the excuse that he forgot to fill up earlier. The luxury car arrives with a honk, and NamJoon hurries over to assist. He shakes with anger when the customer drops the money on the ground. “Why aren’t you picking it up? You don’t want it? What’s with that look? Pretty arrogant for a part-timer, aren’t you?” goads the customer. SeokJin intervenes. Whether the player chooses to have him advise NamJoon not to pick it up or to order the customer to pick it up himself, the end result is the same. SeokJin asks the customer, “Why are you harassing a pitiful part-timer?” The customer drives away, and something about NamJoon seems off. His face is expressionless, not mad or humiliated. “SeokJin, you…” He stops. “Never mind. Thank you for your help.” The words sound difficult for him to speak.

SeokJin believes that he has saved NamJoon, although this ending feels sloppy. He continues on in the loop to rescue JungKook and later YoonGi, but uneasiness plagues him. Though he meant to help NamJoon with his actions, SeokJin wonders if he hurt him instead. On 5 May Year 22, he returns to the gas station and follows NamJoon when he leaves work early. NamJoon enters a bookstore, and SeokJin sneaks in after him to watch from afar. He overhears employees talking about NamJoon, worrying that he might dirty the pages of the book he’s perusing. NamJoon is too absorbed in the book to notice one of them calling for his attention. SeokJin recalls a memory from their school days when he found NamJoon reading alone in their classroom hideout: he asked why NamJoon read so diligently, and his friend explained that he found it comforting to empty his thoughts of everything else while focused on the book. In the present, SeokJin wonders how he forgot how much books mean to NamJoon. He sacrifices some of his food and transportation budget to afford them, but they enable him “to endure the weight of the world he’s forced to bear on his shoulders.” After realizing this, SeokJin wants to apologize for carelessly sympathizing with the reality that NamJoon has weathered alone.

The next episode is from NamJoon’s perspective, revealing his excitement over being able to purchase a book for the first time in two months. He wants to buy two but can only afford one. The employee at the register sighs and asks why he leafed through a book he wasn’t going to buy. NamJoon apologizes, and she mutters, “So dirty.” He notices his reflection, clothes worn and smelling of gasoline, and realizes she’s talking about him, not the book. He tries to shake off these depressing thoughts, but he is still not accustomed to this treatment despite experiencing it regularly at work. As NamJoon begins to exit the store, the security alarm goes off. The employees demand to check his bag despite his insistence that he didn’t steal anything. Their certainty of his theft angers him. NamJoon allows them to look through his bag, and they are suspicious of the like-new book in it which he brought from home. One begins to call the police until SeokJin appears, vouching for NamJoon by saying he saw everything. The employees accept that the alarm malfunctioned and excuse their suspicions as a mistake.

Outside, SeokJin asks NamJoon if he is all right. NamJoon is thankful but wonders how SeokJin materialized right when he needed him. “How’d you find me here?” he asks aloud. SeokJin explains that he happened to notice him while walking through the neighborhood. NamJoon wonders if it’s because they said goodbye on a weird note last time. He thanks him and turns to leave. SeokJin calls after him. “I’m sorry. I wanted to apologize. I didn’t mean to upset you that day at the gas station. It was a mistake to have called you pitiful. If my rash actions hurt you, I’m really sorry.” NamJoon accepts his apology, believing it to be sincere, and says that things would have turned out a lot worse if SeokJin had not intervened. Thunder rolls overhead, and NamJoon uses the impending rain as his excuse to depart. He declines SeokJin’s offer of a ride and runs home, feeling his friend’s eyes on him.

Before he can settle down to read at home, NamJoon receives a call from his cheerful mother. She thanks him for paying off the entire hospital bill. NamJoon is perplexed and asks what’s on the receipt, since he didn’t pay it. His mother wants to leave it be, but he insists that they investigate so they don’t get in trouble or sued. She reads that the Songho Foundation is credited as the payer. NamJoon calls the hospital, introducing himself as the guardian for Kim YoungMin, but they can’t transfer him to the administrative department at this time. Disappointed, he looks up the foundation’s website, unable to recall why it sounds familiar. He wonders why a scholarship foundation in the city would get involved with him. Spotting photos of a recent launch ceremony on the site, he recognizes a few people: Songju High School’s principal, the familiar-looking face of the foundation’s chairman, and SeokJin. First, NamJoon forces a laugh, and then it’s difficult for him to breathe. He thinks that SeokJin really had pitied him at that moment. The only thing keeping NamJoon going is the idea of getting through life on his own strength. Why does he have to live like this?

The last episode opens on 5 May back in SeokJin’s perspective. He is confident now that he has saved NamJoon, although it occurs to him that a better alternative may have been to simply pick up the money himself instead of stepping forward. (This decision is enacted in a later loop and depicted in the Euphoria MV.) While reflecting on what comes next to save his other friends, he receives a text from NamJoon. “What’s your account number? I’ll pay you back for the hospital bills. I don’t need your help. I’ll handle my concerns on my own.” Heart sinking, SeokJin wonders how he found out. With a sense of foreboding, he tries calling NamJoon, but no one answers. SeokJin texts him back, pretending that he doesn’t understand, and tells NamJoon to call him. SeokJin’s second attempt connects while he’s gathering his car keys to visit the container. “That’s enough. Just send the account number over text,” NamJoon instructs. SeokJin coaxes him to talk for a moment, and NamJoon asks flatly, “Are you going to apologize again?” SeokJin attempts to salvage the situation, but his friend turns cold when he insists that NamJoon is misunderstanding and that he just wanted to help. “So, why? Why are you helping me?! Yeah, you’re always a good person. You’ve done nothing wrong and I’m the one misunderstanding.” SeokJin apologizes again. NamJoon refuses his request to meet in person. “No, I thought maybe there was a reason for everything you did… But I guess I misconstrued it. I’ll pay you back, so I’d prefer if you stopped contacting me.” Long after the call ends, SeokJin stands holding his phone, feeling that the glass is going to break at any moment. He wants to believe that it’s not over, but hope is slipping through his fingertips.

The episode finishes in NamJoon’s perspective. On 8 May and 9 May, he accepts part-time delivery work and reflects on his three jobs. Whenever he thinks he’s at his breaking point, he focuses on his new goal of returning SeokJin’s money. On 10 May, NamJoon wakes up to his buzzing phone and is called in to work. On a scooter, he passes by a bus stop and notices graffiti. (This is the same bus stop, with matching graffiti, that appears in the Highlight Reel.) Mesmerized, he wonders if it’s TaeHyung’s. As soon as NamJoon looks up, the scooter’s brake fails, and he crashes. The shattered glass on the cold pavement reminds him of the headlight shard and the kid who looked like TaeHyung. (So the piece of glass SeokJin saw in April was really a memento NamJoon retrieved from the scene of the crash in the mountain town, where the delivery boy whom he privately called TaeHyung died. This event is described in NamJoon’s 17 December Year 21 entry in The Notes 1.) NamJoon’s vision grows blurry, and the distant sound of an ambulance doesn’t come any closer.

The arc concludes there, but it obviously marks another reset for SeokJin. It is interesting to note that in this failed loop, NamJoon suffers the same fate that he narrowly avoided in the snowy mountain town before returning to Songju.

Please stay tuned for the next Highlights post featuring JungKook and YoonGi!

[utilitycaster]

Actual Play: How it works

This is a collection of how I think of actual play as a medium, because TTRPG actual play is a unique one - a combination of improvisation, a rule set, and randomizing elements. This isn’t fully comprehensive, and I may add to it in the future as I come up with more ideas. I’m also thinking of providing some examples/more in-depth stuff for the items in separate posts, so please let me know if that’s something you would want.

Most of the observations here heavily skew towards D&D and Pathfinder actual play, as they are what I know best. Other systems I’ve listened to (PbtA, Cortex, Savage Worlds) fit in here as well, but this may not apply to all actual play, particularly GM-less games or games that are primarily played as one-shots.

Finally, and I say this only because it is a recurring problem on the social media that I happen to find incredibly irritating: you are also welcome and encouraged to have other opinions, disagree with me, dislike all of this, etc. If you have things to say, my inbox is the best place; this is too long for multiple reblogs and this is a sideblog so replies are tricky. However, if you are the kind of person who is inclined to say things like “Actually, there was an exception to this rule! It’s in the backmasked audio at 06:59:32 in the outtakes of episode 192c of Dungeons and Discotheques! :)” I would like to provide you with this actual play line quote from Adaine Abernant in Fantasy High: I think that you feel like you have a lot to offer, and please take this the right way... you don't.

Onto the thoughts, below the jump!

On narrative devices and rules and the random element:

Foreshadowing is possible, but limited to specific circumstances. A GM can (and should) foreshadow! The point of foreshadowing is to set expectations, and GMs should have hints that indicate things about the world that the party may encounter later, provide potential plot hooks, or otherwise provide the party with information. Similarly, players can do things that nod towards as of yet unrevealed elements of their backstories. However, it is impossible to deliberately foreshadow plot resolutions, because it is unknown what they will be. That doesn’t mean that in retrospect things may happen that echo back to earlier events, but the intent to foreshadow was not there - it’s a happy accident.

I don’t want to say normal narrative rules don’t apply because what are the normal narrative rules, really? However, I think an important thing to emphasize is that narrative satisfaction is not guaranteed. This is especially true if the cast has agreed character death is an option, but even beyond that, an unlucky or lucky roll can seemingly cut an arc short or take things in a weird and unforeseen direction. Because there is an element of randomness, randomness will occur. This, along with the character agency I discuss later, is one of my favorite things about actual play. It strips out the need for a moral or message or specific beats - not that those can’t arise, but they can’t be forced - and as such it can make for unusual, creative, and very true-to-life stories even in a fantasy setting.

On character role, viewpoint and agency:

Actual play stories have an ensemble of viewpoint characters (the PCs). This is perhaps the clearest restriction that exists, at least in all of the game systems I’ve mentioned. There is no good way to depict NPCs acting on their own unless the PCs have a way to observe them, unseen (magical or mundane). It is extremely difficult to have one player play multiple PCs, and if a player leaves there is not a good way to recast their PC. This doesn’t mean NPCs can’t do things with each other offscreen that have implications for the story, nor that PCs can’t come and go or become NPCs, but it does mean a good GM is very careful about NPC interactions because it gets very boring and non-collaborative very quickly to watch someone talk with themselves.

The PCs hold a level of agency that characters in other media do not. Statements about how the characters have a mind of their own in original fiction aside (sidebar: I am team ‘they don’t, you just didn’t realize that the way you wrote their personality and the way you wrote your plot conflicted until you actually started writing it out, which is very understandable’) PCs do in fact have a mind of their own separate from the GM and from each other.

Something I like about this is that unless you are coming up with conspiracy theories regarding the interpersonal dynamics of the players themselves (in which case I think you’re both a creep and a weirdo (derogatory)) or if the GM is not respecting player agency (which I feel is usually very easy to see; see below for more on that) you do not get cases of “these characters are together simply because the author felt like pairing them off” as can happen in scripted media. Any romantic relationship is, inherently, a mutually agreed choice between the originators of these characters, and more generally any plot or relationship necessarily needs to have something that appeals to all characters involved. It may be as simple as “these are my friends and I want to keep hanging out”, but, despite this being improv, it’s a medium where saying “no” is always an option.

With that said there is still room for players to be uncooperative or selfish. It’s rare, but it does exist, and I’m personally of the opinion that it’s in part the GM’s responsibility to have a conversation with that player and to not play into their attention grabbing. That said, with one notable exception, all the accusations I’ve seen about this have seemed to me to be more “I don’t like this player/character/ship/arc and I am going to claim they are stealing focus, despite it being justified,” and not genuinely about a player being obnoxious.

Agency separate from the person who creates the world is perhaps the most unique element of actual play and at this point I’m going to talk a little about how a good GM fosters that.

I’ve said before that when a GM has things happen that are not at least mostly a direct response to character actions, they are typically either world-building or a hook, and can be both. I think of this sort of as a variant on Chekhov’s gun, actually; the gun doesn’t have to go off, ultimately, in actual play, but it is saying the following:

This is a world where there are guns hung on the wall sometimes.

Someone else might do something with this gun.

You can attempt to do something with this gun before they do.

And then the players decide how they want to interpret it and what they want to do, and the dice indicate the level of success in doing so.

A good GM should encourage the players to explore and be creative, and more than anything, reward agency. This doesn’t mean rewarding it with success; rather, it means if someone explicitly indicates they want to interact with an element of the world, you should give them the tools such that eventually, they can try to do so. You can also give them reasons in-game why they should change their mind, or make it so that it’s almost certain to fail if that is reasonable, but if you are trying to flat-out shut it down without providing an in-world reason why, the cracks will almost certainly show.

One important thing to remember about GM-ing: GMs will probably come into the game with some ideas of what’s going on in the world, and some level of understanding of what the world looks like. That will be influenced by the players, both in terms of the consequences of their actions and choices, and also by what the players are interested in. Which is to say: even if there is a session zero, and the GM states a specific premise, that can change! Characters develop, player interests change, dice rolls do weird things, and so a good GM absolutely must if not kill their darlings at least remove, recycle, and adapt them based on the direction of the game and motivations of the characters. Even in a plot-driven campaign, the players and GM and what makes them happy needs to drive the story, because fundamentally, this is a game that should be fun. Which brings us to...

On the Watsonian and the Doylist in actual play:

Stepping back for a second: the context in which people are creating fiction influences them. End of sentence. It’s ridiculous to think it doesn’t. This means everything from political events and worldwide trends, to the media the creator is consuming or has consumed, to personal life events. There are always going to be in- and out-of-universe explanations for choices in fiction.

In actual play, the players and GM know the underlying rules of the world, and it’s difficult to truly split the party and have everyone not involved leave in a way that feels fun, so everyone always has information that they can’t really use in-game. Also it’s a fully improvised medium that is primarily theater of the mind, so unconscious choices, misunderstandings, and accidents are frequently not edited out, and people are human. Which is to say I think it’s important to take this into consideration in one’s analysis; it’s not that you can’t incorporate a Watsonian reason for something that happened, but Doylist reasons are given a weight that they may not have in an edited work.

Three of the Doylist reasons beyond the misunderstandings and accidents I wanted to cover are metagaming, awareness that this is for an audience, and character knowledge.

Metagaming exists in many TTRPGs, and it’s not actually inherently bad. When a DM in D&D says “that just hits” you get an idea of the AC of the creature, and you know your own attack rolls, and you can make decisions based on that, when, in a ‘real’ fantasy battle scenario, you probably wouldn’t gain all that insight from a single hit. The rules of the TTRPG are considered part of normal acceptable metagaming. There’s also the more general one; if you start the first session in a tavern, there is an unspoken expectation that the PCs will interact and form an impromptu group and not just quietly drink their ale and leave - basically, the rules of improv still apply. This is a good thing. And finally, there’s the acknowledgement that you are people with feelings and this is a game and so if someone is upset you stop, or you have discussions about consent between sessions that inform actions in-game. Metagaming just gets obnoxious when someone rolls a nat 1 and then argues that this is obvious information and they should know, or looks up every monster in the manual when you encounter it instead of playing true to the character’s knowledge.

In actual play, the ‘hey fellow tavern-goers, would you like to be a group’ form of metagaming, the “oh right this is a story and we should move the story forward,” is even more important than in home D&D games. This is where I recommend listening or reading some Q&As or watching some after shows, because you’ll hear players talk about this. A 5-hour shopping episode or extensive foraging can get boring to watch or listen to (and unlike accidentally boring or frustrating things, are pretty easy to predict and avoid). On the flip side, a risky choice might seem more appealing when you know there’s an audience who would love the payoff.

I am personally, perhaps unsurprisingly given what I said about player dynamic conspiracy theories and randomness (or, outside of this post, my strong dislike of certain popular fan theories), not a big fan of creators catering to audiences’ every whim...but it’s unavoidable that they will take the audience experience in mind.

Finally, character knowledge, which is the opposite of metagaming - when a character knows something the player doesn’t. This is sometimes covered with, for example, GM statements like “you would know, as a person with history proficiency, that this country is actually in a regency period.” If the character had, in improv, before the GM had a chance to say that, mentioned the king, that’s just because the player did not know that and had made an assumption.

Personally I find going deep down the rabbit hole with things like this - “why doesn’t this character, who CLAIMS to be from this country, not know this?”, or clearly OOC statements - tends not to actually spark any interesting theories, but that is, ultimately, an opinion.

A few final thoughts on different formats of actual play

True livestream/live-to-tape (Critical Role, Into the Motherlands, and the second season of Fantasy High): the main thing to keep in mind is Doylist explanations are even more important because there is quite literally no editing. Also, there will possibly be some of those more boring stretches or even a little OOC metagaming discussions within the structure of the game, because there’s no way around it.

Editing, but primarily just to remove long explanations/math and doing soundscaping (NADDPod, Rusty Quill Gaming): Pretty similar; a lot of them even make the choice to leave in OOC metagaming discussions, so it’s mostly that there are fewer cases of people slowly adding numbers.

More extensive editing and possibly some predefined other elements (TAZ, most Dimension 20 shows): this may fall into a more traditional story structure. It’s not to say that there won’t be surprises, because the players do still have agency, but the ‘rails’ might be a little more apparent; there might be some DM monologuing done after the fact (beyond just cleaning up the audio) or choices that were not scripted per se, but not exactly improvised either (think how D20 tends to have pre-set battle maps and earlier seasons had a pretty strict RP/Battle structure.

Somewhat relatedly there are broad story structures, which is more of a spectrum, ranging from sandbox (Critical Role) to very clearly GM-driven missions (TAZ Balance and, to an extent, Amnesty); nearly all of the other shows here fall into a structure of “here is your overall goal, how precisely you get there is up to you although, like any GM, I will provide in-story information on where it may make sense to go that will often funnel you towards specific places.”

I do have a theory that since TAZ Balance in particular was an entry point for so many people, it takes them time to adjust to the more sprawling, unpredictable, and difficult-to-organize stories other actual play can have, but ultimately it is a matter of personal preference and all of these still fall into the category of actual play.

[revolutiontom]

Production Role- Technical Manager

My main role within the production was technical manager, this meant that it was up to me to decide how the performance space was to be lit, whether there would be any sound and to sort any other elements of media out ready for the performance. 

This role was exciting as it gave me the opportunity to explore lighting more, when thinking about lighting I knew from the start that I would have to think about the way the piece would eventually look on stage. This also meant that I had to be adaptable to change as our plans changed along the way. 

At the start of production planning, I had imagined the stage space to be split up into rooms using stage flats to physically block off different spaces, however it became apparent that we wouldn’t be able to use stage flats. To deal with this I had to think about how I could split up the space using lighting alone. 

During an Interview I conducted with Cherry Mansell-Barber by The White Tent Company I asked whether she had any suggestions about tech and how to make the lighting feel more immersive. Cherry said “We used lighting to section different parts of the space. For example, we had the crime scene in reds and blues. Then we had two witnesses under stark white light, so they became their own zones but also added to the interrogation feel. (Interview with Cherry Mansell-Barber, The White Tent Company, 2022)

I took this idea and adapted it so that each section of the room was lit in a warm white light, the room was essentially split into three sections to imitate the idea of a police station. We had the front desk and then two witness desks. Each desk was programmed into its own spotlight. The spotlights added to a theatrical feeling to the piece whilst also feeling like they were natural to the police station. For something a little more playful and theatrical I decided to create a red and blue flood across the stage using LED lights for the start and end of the production, this played into the idea that a crime had been committed and fitted the theme of the piece. In addition to this the set included a UV blacklight lantern which the audience could use to interact with UV puzzles, although we did have UV torches the lantern provided a wider spread of light and revealed the hidden message quicker.

If I was to take the role of technical manager even further, I would love to play with using virtual reality headsets within a production, this essentially combines the physical and the virtual worlds and allows the audience to explore both. To further develop the performance, I think it would be interesting to map a crime scene in VR into the physical space and the performers could interact both physically with a set and digitally in VR to help solve the case and find clues.

 VR is something being explored by companies such as National Theatre London who have previously been working with it to tell stories in a new way. National Theatre have set up an immersive storytelling studio where producers can “examine how virtual reality, 360˚ film, augmented reality and other emerging technologies can widen and enhance the NT’s remit to be a pioneer of dramatic storytelling and enable audiences to stand in other people’s shoes.” (National Theatre, 2022) 

[itsclydebitches]

A weird defence I've seen of RWBY's conflicts has been that it's good writing simply by the virtue that people can disagree on what's the right thing to do in said conflict. Which doesn't work when one decision is being presented as the only valid choice while every other option is either not addressed or demonized. This isn't a story leaving a nuanced set of stances to explore, it's a guy on stage signalling the crowd to boo whenever someone goes against the Protag's decision.

Real quick, I want to talk about RWBY by not talking about RWBY. I’ve seen this argument a lot too and the tl;dr is that just because your audience debates the right action in a conflict  — something that is inevitable given how subjective media is  — doesn’t mean the story encouraged that reflection in any way. As you say, RWBY pretends that those disagreements don’t exist and that This Is The One (1) Right Answer... which entirely defeats the purpose of a morally nuanced situation in the first place. That lack is bad writing because it demonstrates the author’s inability to provide an accurate picture of the conflict while still ensuring we come out of it liking the parties involved. The conflict was too complex for them to manage alongside equally complex characterization, so they just pretended it was far simpler than it actually was. That’s not something to praise. 

But to get to the not RWBY part. I’ve mentioned this a couple times before, but one of the scenes that I think manages these sorts of conflicts really well is the funeral fight in The Haunting of Hill House, episodes 6, “Two Storms.” So warning from here on out for spoilers. Sometimes, the best way to see what’s not working well in one show is to look at another show that does (basically) the same thing successfully and compare the two. 

Normally I’d include screenshots, but Netflix doesn’t allow that :/ So I’m forced to rely on bullet points. 

The basic premise is that the Crain family has assembled in daughter Shirley’s funeral home, the night before they bury their sister, Nell. A lot of secrets are about to come to light. 

The scene kicks off when their father, Hugh, relays the call he got from the housekeeper the night of Nell’s death. She had committed suicide in the family’s childhood home. 

Though everyone knew how she’d died, son Steven is distraught at hearing the details and reveals that a few weeks prior Nell crashed a book signing of his. This shocks the others given that this was very unusual behavior for Nell. 

Shirley likewise reveals that she got a call from Nell who’d been worried about their brother, Luke, but hadn’t spoken to her the night of her death. The implication is that no one did. They’ll never know what was going through her head the night she died. 

Hugh reveals that she did call him. “I talked to her.” 

Stunned by this news, his children demand to know what was discussed and Hugh is clearly reluctant to continue. However, he eventually says that Nell wasn’t just worried about Luke, but also the “Bent Neck Lady,” a specter from her childhood.

The viewer knows that ghosts are real in this show. The kids don’t. Or rather, they all experienced supernatural occurrences in their childhood, are still experiencing them now, but only some of them are willing to admit they’re real. Steven is the diehard skeptic of the bunch and starts yelling at his father, accusing him of aiding Nell’s delusions and ignoring a family history of mental illness. In particular, he declares that this “makes you culpable [in her death].” 

Steven continues to accuse Hugh of “holding back information” about Nell and Hugh shoots back that “If I held back anything it was to protect you kids.” The viewer understands Hugh’s dilemma: the only reason he keeps things to himself is because Steven and the others refuse to believe the truth, with an added dose of this supernatural stuff being very dangerous. Steven asks, “Why do I need protection from the truth?” 

Before their fight can go any further, Shirley tells Steven, “You might want to check yourself before you start talking about the truth.” He published an autobiographical book about their childhood trauma and notably capitalized on a supernatural angle he doesn’t believe in. Shirley calls it “blood money.” 

As the argument about the ethics of his book rages, Shirley defends herself primarily with how everyone else thinks this is “blood money” too. No one took a cut when Steven offered one, proving how despicable they all think it is. 

Meanwhile, sister Theo has been getting heat for being drunk (a coping mechanism for her own supernatural troubles) and Shirley eventually pushes her far enough that she admits she did take Steven’s money and used it to get her degree. “It’s good, fucking money.” Suddenly, Steven has someone in his corner and Shirley’s main defense has crumbled. 

Shirley is furious that Theo had this secret income but was still living with her and her husband. Theo reminds her that she offered to pay rent, but Shirley isn’t interested in hearing that. She demands that Theo move out immediately and uses this betrayal as the new way to protect herself. She’s the victim here. 

Steven, sensing another secret in the works, cautions Shirley to “get off your high horse before you fall off.” 

Shirley maintains her position until her husband blurts that they also took Steven’s money. Shirley hasn’t been running the funeral home well and they would have sunk without it. 

Despite being the punching bag for the second half of this fight, Shirley is offered both reassurance and dignity. Her husband emphasizes that the only reason they’re struggling is because Shirley is a good person. She does too much work pro bono. Shirley also delivers the line, “Do you have any idea how much you’ve humiliated me?” calling into question the husband’s choice to admit this now, purely as a way to prove her wrong. 

Shirley leaves to get some distance and discovers that someone — something — has put buttons over Nell’s eyes. The shock of this keeps the fight from continuing and, as plot intervenes, gives the characters the space needed to eventually start healing and forgiving one another, notably by sitting with the various truths they all now have to grapple with. 

Phew! A long summary, but I’ve put this much detail in to highlight the nuance of the scene. Obviously RWBY would differ in many ways  — less cursing, for one  — but the core elements of any morally complex scene should be the same. The important takeaways here are that no one in the Crain family are “pure” or “evil” and everyone gets their chance to be both right and wrong. Hugh is right that Steven won’t listen to him and wrong in that he didn’t do enough to help his kids. We get Steven and Hugh’s frustration, their understanding of the world at odds with one another. Steven is wrong to put everything on his father and justified in starting his writing career with their story. We watch the scene move from “Steven is Wrong and everyone agrees” to “Oh shit nm, more and more of the family are revealing that they benefited from his money, complicating how “wrong” he actually is.” Shirley is right to point out that Theo is getting drunk during their sister’s funeral and Theo is right to point out that being drunk doesn’t erase having a good point. Theo is allowed to scream at the group and then immediately be offered help when she falls. Shirley pretends she’s better than all of them and is slowly, horrifyingly proven wrong, but is then still extended compassion and is allowed to point out how horribly they’ve just treated her. The husband is right about the money, wrong about keeping it a secret/revealing it the way he did, right in how he tries to diffuse the other fights, and VERY wrong by getting caught kissing Theo down in the storeroom! 

The scene twists and turns in a way that highlights everyone’s points and their flaws, the moments when their perspective should be upheld and questioned. The end result is a scene that has space for the audience to debate everyone’s choices without imposing the single view of This Person Is Obviously Wrong/Right and If You Think Otherwise You’re Not Watching The Show Correctly. The show itself acknowledges the complexity and nuance of these problems. It asks, “Hugh should have tried harder, but what more can he do when his kids literally don’t believe this stuff exists? Was Steven really justified in writing a book about their collective experiences? What does it mean that something his family sees as capitalizing on their trauma also helped them keep businesses and schooling afloat? Was it okay for Shirley’s husband to keep that money a secret, even if it helped them? How might he have told her in a less cruel manner? What about Shirley’s life has led to her intense need to be on that ‘high horse’?” 

And of course: “Who is really responsible for Nell’s death?” By this point the viewer already knows that there is no “really” here. This is too complicated a tragedy to lay the blame at any one person’s feet. Everyone in this room has moments of justified accusations and moments of chastisement because they’re well written, well rounded characters who are neither saints nor devils. The length of the scene (done in a single shot!) emphasizes that if you just wait long enough, even the most perfect looking person will eventually have a skeleton pulled from their closet. No one is above mistakes. 

RWBY has NONE of that. Zip. Nada. Nothing. RWBY gave us a scenario with many of the same, core themes  — secret keeping, secrets unwillingly revealed, blaming others for your mistakes, hurtful actions with helpful consequences, questioning who is responsible for a tragic death  — and instead of even attempting to give us some of the above nuance, RWBY said only that Ruby was right, Ozpin was wrong, and demanding that the audience ignore the nuance they could already see in order to accept the canon. 

RWBY’s scene asks the audience to play dumb and look at the world as a Black and White place, despite the show simultaneously insisting that “the world isn’t a fairy tale” and is, in fact, filled with shades of gray. 

Just not any shades of gray that mess with that dichotomy that now drives the story.  

That’s not good writing. It’s oblivious and contradictory writing that makes the audience frustrated. Not satisfied, surprised, contemplative, or curious. Just frustrated.