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#which... not my problem it doesn't hurt anyone
ntj2pj · 1 month
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#madness combat#madcom oc#my oc#atp soldat#the soldat in the dark (tm) actually cares about his bro#a lot#but he just can't get sad when he warned him about this shit nonstop#no id#The bitten guy just acts too friendly because his program made him too altruistuc and kind#Which sometimes helps since he is one who recruits workers#Well#Probably it's more benefitial most of the time#But he gets in shit like “oh i just wanted to help civilian get out from dangerous location and they stabbed me :(((”#And he ain't bullied for it by anyone but his bro. He is too... Kinda. Uh. Hard to bully guy who is most safest option to talk with auditor#And not die lol. It also doesn't help that he is guy who knows all of the AAHW by names and will kick you hard for bullying anyone#So bullying him is a privilege of some atp soldats#not an option :D#Other soldat here is just walking anger issues and he got no friends other than his bro. Constantly lashes at anyone. The Bitten™ included#So they're got that dynamic of angry antisocial cynical guy and pessimist & optimistic kind dude (well#(well he got a lot of mental issues too#But doesn't show it and never let it hurt others.)#And he is much older than the pessimist :'D#Pessimist guy is very young actually. But just experienced shit nonstop from birthday and lost very much everyone he cared about#And the second one... just atp soldat with no past. never known any other thing than work in AAHW and orders. Easy to manipulate#He also gets “You're not a real person” a lot for it. And constanly offended by it. But it's a problem of all yellow bloods here#Especially him#since he litterally didn't had a life outside from aahw. Also don't think he wouldn't kick his friends hard for orders.#Kill even. He is a dog for orders first#Kind guy with good morals is only second
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theokusgallery · 2 months
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The problem with my art right now is that 1) the little drawing time I have goes to @daily-basil ; 2) I have phases, and am currently deeply unmotivated ; and 3) when I do draw what this blog is currently about (Arsenic) I draw him in a gay way (because I love him deeply) and not like the unhinged person he actually is. I'm sorry I'm so soft about him right now. Yes I want Sunny and him to tear each other apart but they also need to love each other so so so much first
#siiiiiiigh...#im sorry i need him to hold sunny gently and tells him he loves him and yes he'll say it in horrible unhinged ways BUT#poor man who does not know how to love and does not know he can be loved. he is convinced he needs to manipulate people to make them stay#writing down arsenic lore for tosteur like two days ago made me so emotional about him. shaking and crying#there's not even like An Event it's just that his whole childhood sucks and he's never been accepted by anyone and he's so lonely and#(starts crying)#he does horrible horrible things but all he does to sunny truly comes from love. deeply inhumane and twisted love but love nonetheless#(except when he's being a selfish ass who doesn't have any sort of morals and generally doesn't give a shit about other people. of course)#god he's such a horrible person (/simplification) i love him#he does not care about hurting other people and only cares about his own selfish desires#he thinks he can do anything he wants and if other people get hurt by his actions it's not his problem#don't you DARE touch a single hair on sunny's head. not in a 'i care about my bf' way btw.#but because if sunny gets hurt. he has to deal with that and 1) it's boring unless it brings him something and 2) that's *his* plaything.#even when he does nice things for sunny he doesn't make it just to make sunny happy#he does it so that sunny will associate happiness with him and stay.#that's what he thinks consciously at least. he always had ulterior motives for everything he does#it doesn't really make him calculating because it's automatic at this point. it just makes him deeply selfish#my poor little boy who has never had anyone genuinely care about him before...#which doesn't excuse shit of course but hhhh i love him so much.#(D if you see this. this is about the OC not the guy. of course)#arsenic#rant#sometimes i think about nick like a normal person ('he's so awful and interesting') and sometimes i just slhrflfbfb. (cries)
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trans-estinien · 30 days
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people really love to conveniently forget trans men exist when they talk about feminism. or if they dont they make us out as also part of the problem as if we somehow are able to have the same amount of privilege as cis men. absolutely wild
#“not all men” is a valid statement because its fucking true#like guys. seriously. not every single man is evil#feminism isnt about putting men down its about raising women up to be equal and getting rid of gender inequality#sorry im seeing a massive uptick in people hating on trans men for being men lately and its fucking stupid#like yall are doing a great job at making me feel ashamed to be a man who likes men. awesome thanks guys#i dont normally make posts like this but its been rattling around in my mind for a few days now#its always put out like. all men (trans or not) are Inherently Evil and all women (trans or not) are Inherently Victims#which is absolutely the stupidest shit ive ever seen#and they also leave out anyone who doesnt fit into the man/woman dichotomy. and if they dont its always seen as woman lite#which is also stupid as fuck#not every nb/agender/other person is feminine asshole#anways. case in point. can we stop demonizing masculinity while also discussing the effects of misogyny and the patriarchy please.#because both of those things are very real and very much do hurt people#but im sick of people lashing out at trans men as if the problem magically doesn't affect us anymore because we are men#because guess what! newsflash! it affects trans AND cis men too!!#i shouldnt have to explain it should be obvious but like. im tired man#sorry ill forever be annoyed at women who just hate every single man who dares breathe in their direction because they COULD be an asshole#if you hate someone because of their gender no matter what gender it is i Do Not Trust You#anyways thanks for coming to my ted talk. replies are off cause i dont want to argue with people i just want to express my opinion
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opens-up-4-nobody · 10 months
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...
#ugh. the fucking struggle of a thing i will not talk about. its just an off shoot of one of my many#obessive compulsive tendencies. it just makes me think of my dad. like hes also a fucking anxious person but hes like. i have the thoughts#but then i dont let them control me so its not an issue. and he knos i get caught up on the structure and identification of problems so#hes always like. its only an issue if its like ruining ur life. and hes right and i definitely meet the standards of both of those things#bc im fucking thinking abt these things constantly. its in my head literally all the time. every second of the day#and i mean i guess this specific thing isnt ruining my life but it certainly isnt helpful and in combo with everything else my quality of#life is not what it could b. idk it just feels all empty which is y i became a fucking workaholic#bc i just get so fucking bored stuck in these stupid patterns that at least i can make myseld useful as i drive myself nuts#it also doesnt help that im still trying to unfuck my leg and not being very successful bc theres this fucking voice in my head like#keep moving. u cant sit down. walk around. dont stop. dont stop. dont stop. i can feel the muscles getting irritated again#its unbearable bc it doesn't really even hurt. i just kno im fucking it up for myself and i have all this excess energy that i cant get rid#of bc i cant run. anyway its just irritating#i probably triggered myself by watching the bear all day lol. its so good but it reminds me of working in a shitty banquet hall when my#brain was on fire. and theyve got that toxic workahoism that i so desperately cling to. and in a weird way i can relate tho their fucked#up mom when everyones just trying to help but shes so fixated on this thing that's clearly causing her distress but shes just screaming at#them. like i mean i have insight into my issues and i try not to let them affect anyone but me but its so hard when its like. i have to do#this thing. i have to do it. i kno its bad. i kno its fucked up but shut the fuck up and let me do this. u dont fucking understand#but i wouldn't say that bc i kno its irrational. ugh. i also have to go to a lab dinner tomorrow. maybe#no time has been listed so idk. its for my leaving so im technically the focus. hate that for me. whatever. itll b fine#at least the place is within walking distance and its like less than 3 weeks until i leave#unrelated
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transxfiles · 1 year
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lost phineas and ferb episode where perry is called to investigate what dr doofenshmirtz is up to because carl the intern got ahold of some intel that doof has been seen speaking to lawyers and looking up the endangered species act at internet cafes and as major monogram says, "something fishy is going on"
meanwhile phineas and ferb's subplot of "i know what we're gonna do today!" is that isabella needs her environmentalist fireside girls badge so they start researching which species are in urgent need of help in the tri-state area so that they can use new cloning and gene therapy technologies to bring at-risk animals back from extinction
(yes there is a c-plot where buford and baljeet argue the ethics of this idea, i don't have time to explain it all for you rn)
we cut back to🎵doofenshmirtz evil incorporated🎵where we see perry carefully maneuvering around doofenshmirtz's lab scared he might fall into a trap but he hasn't set off a single booby trap and it's clear something is off
he runs into doofenshmirtz and goes to kick him in the gut action movie style but doof steps back one overly confident and says, "nuh uh uh, you see perry the platypus, you are TRAPPED! by the danville section of the endangered species act of 1973!"
doof goes on to explain his tragic backstory: "you see, perry the platypus, when i was a child my parents did not show up for my own birth! but you know that already, yadda yadda yadda they did not love me and then they loved roger more, ANYways i was raised by ocelots! i had a lovely foster mother who took me in and made me one of the pride, and so you see, perry the platypus, i am still legally considered an ocelot. did you know that there are only 50 recorded ocelots still alive in the continental united states? very sad for me as a member of a near-extinct species. it would be immoral for you to hurt someone critically endangered... in fact, you have made many attempts on my life this summer"
[montage of doof's security camera footage of their battles]
"which is why i have decided to bring you... TO COURT!" we cut back to phineas and ferb's back yard where they've decided to start cloning ocelots in their kiddie pool
candace storms outside enraged and says, "phineas and ferb are you cloning ocelots in my duckie momo kiddie pool!?"
ferb's one line of the episode is "well, i guess it's more of a kitty pool, now"
candace storms away saying, "i'm going to tell mom!" and isabella turns to phineas and says, "oh, does your mom have experience in wildlife conservation?"
we cut back to the doof and perry plotline where the two are now in the danville hall of justice and we learn that doof has spent his monthly alimony check on a defense lawyer and perry turns and sees the lawyer and then vanessa helping her organize her briefcase and perry chitters at her and vanessa shrugs and says, "i'm thinking about going into legal defense. sorry perry."
the rest of the doof and perry b-plot is spent in court and perry is about to ask for a public defense lawyer when carl runs into the room and explains that he's owca's official legal defense and perry looks at him like, "uhhh is that even allowed?"
it doesn't matter because apparently the judge is out sick today but because it's danville roger's the judge now because he's the mayor and everyone loves him.
the court case continues.
meanwhile phineas and ferb have successfully cloned multiple ocelots from the original ocelot dna they had on hand and isabella asks phineas if these clones will experience health problems like premature aging, phineas casually explains that ferb figured out the problem while they were experimenting with stem cell harvesting.
back in the courtroom, doof's ocelot foster mother has been brought to the stand along with an ocelot to english translator. doof gets emotional seeing her after so long. she says that he was one of her favorite child and he was as strong a hunter as anyone else in the family. it's incredibly sweet. the jury's in tears.
meanwhile, isabella has established connections with a group in texas who are going to release the ocelots back into their natural habitat and, using the cloned ocelots to prevent inbreeding, help establish an ocelot breeding program. the group explains that they are going to send a helicopter to retrieve the cloned ocelots from danville and bring them to texas soon.
isabella gets her fireside girls badge.
candace manages to get mom to see the backyard only after the ocelots have been helicoptered off to coastal texas, their primary habitat.
mom makes it into the backyard as phineas stares wistfully over the fence and says, "if you love something, you have to let it go." candace goes, "look mom look look look!" and points at the ducky momo kiddie pool, devoid of cloned ocelots, where baljeet and buford are now chilling out, having settled their philosophical debate about the ethics of animal cloning.
back in the courtroom drama, doof looks like he's about to win when an attendant walks into the courtroom and whispers something in roger's ear.
roger looks up, grinning, and says, "good news, everyone! my attendant here has just enlightened me that ocelots are no longer considered critically endangered!"
this settles the case, with perry being decreed not guilty and the entire affair being called off. the courtroom cheers, roger walks over to doof and personally congratulates him on his species' return from the brink of extinction.
doof shouts, "curse you endangered species classification system!" at the ceiling of the danville hall of justice.
perry arrives back home just in time for mom to say, "who wants pie?"
the end.
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beidouwanning · 1 year
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but i got so wrapped up in actually spending a pleasant few hours with my mother that for a few minutes i forgot i lived in a world where my relationship with my father is just one (1) honest conversation away from completely evaporating as well
#truly hashtag blessed to have shitty relationships with both my parents 😍#personal#with my mother it's the alcoholism and the fact that i feel like she can't fucking stand me#not to mention what she put me and my sister through during out childhood but most of that can be blamed on the alcoholism as well#for my dad it's actually more complex because at no point in my life am i not hyperaware of him abandoning me and my sister back then#he was supposed to PROTECT us and get us out of that environment instead he just spent all of his time at work#just so he didn't have to spend it with our mother which. i get. but he was our FATHER. he was supposed to be there for us.#and whenever i used to come to him for help (and even now because my mom is still an alcoholic and awful) he would just sigh#and act like there is nothing he can do.#and i hate hate hate that i am 27 years old and i still go to my dad and ask him for help and he still doesn't do ANYTHING#i am 27 and yet i am still that 12 year old girl crying and asking him to get a divorce and get me and my sister out#i am still that 8 year old girl asking him why he's gone all the time and leaving us with someone who can't even take care of herself#i am still screaming inside of me and begging my dad for help and he is still ignoring me#and i usually have a good relationship with my dad because we just don't talk about all of that#but every time we have a fight over like the most stupid things a part of me that hates him for abandoning me just wonders why#why are we trying that hard for him when he doesn't for us#why do we take the time explaining our autism symptoms and our problems discerning and using tone#when at the next fight he uses my tone against me anyway again.#why do we explain to him how much it hurts to be ignored by anyone (an issue that STEMS FROM HIM)#when he does it just to hurt me at the next petty fight anyway.#and a part of me just feels like he isn't entitled to getting mad at me at all because i NEVER got mad at him for abandoning me#i never yelled at him even though i wanna and i never blamed him to his face i was mature and i didn't bring it up#and now he has the AUDACITY to get mad at me for telling him to clean up after himself because i 'said it in an accusatory tone'??#i know this seems unfair of me but he doesn't get to do that. not when he abandoned me in hell when i was only 5 fucking years old#maybe even younger idk how long my mother has been a drinker#he doesn't get to get angry with me over stupid shit not when he abandoned me as a child and i never got angry at him for it#not when he ignored all my pleading and suffering and didn't do SHIT to help me#i don't think i will ever get over this. i don't think i will ever have a normal relationship with either of my parents.#i don't think i will ever get over my childhood. i don't think i can. i don't know how to.#anyway.
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ave661 · 2 months
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Post about art-theft, AI and tracing of my render:
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Unfortunately, one of my renders I made a year ago, was traced, copied, edited by AI by "brothers in arms" store and now sold as a merch aimed towards CoD fandom. They are currently sending this out to various cosplayers asking them to promote it.
As someone who is affected by this, I have to speak up about it.
(post about it on twt & insta)
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I found out about it by accident when I saw promoted post on my insta feed. When I started talking about it in my stories, this store sent me a private message saying they had been working on this design for weeks and had never heard of me so they definitely didn't steal anything, and offered me free stuff. When I disagreed with them and sent them files comparing our works, they stopped replying to me, so I continued talking about it again on my insta. Only when my followers started leaving comments under their post saying this is wrong, they decided to continue discussion on the next day.
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2. They mentioned that they could have been inspired by some pictures they found on the internet and showed me their "first sketch" of design… which was made by AI.
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3. During the conversation, they mentioned that their artist could have based his work on a picture he found on the Internet, but he defended himself by saying that they might not have known it was mine. But even if they didn't know about me, even if they found some fanart on the Internet - it doesn't mean you can copy something detail by detail and sell it as your own. What is most important here, their offer to solve the problem was to give me credits in their design. IF they worked hard on it, why would they want to give me credits? My offer was to remove it.
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4. Why do I mention that it could have been done by AI? because many lines are unfinished and a lot of details don't make sense.
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5. Below is a comparison of my render that I published on March 18, 2023 with their first sketch they showed me, which apparently they drew themselves:
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I am saying this so that the CoD community, which is very large, will be aware of this, because there are many people who have already bought it and after my insta story, they felt bad and said they want return it because they don't want to support art theft.
It's not just about me anymore - it could have happened to anyone who creates fanart and share it on the Internet just for fun. One day someone may use it for their own profit without us being aware of it. It doesn't matter if it's a 3D render or a drawing. All artists in this (or any other) fandom do not deserve to experience such thing, and we need to speak out about it to prevent it from happening in the future.
Reposting fanart is, as this example shows, dangerous and hurtful, so please respect artists and don’t do this. Especially on pinterest.
Their only proposal and offer to give me credits for the work they traced is something I will never agree to.
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fiapple · 1 year
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not to be mean, but if you've never had a restrictive ed or bdd then maybe just stop talking about body checking? 90% of the time you lot have no clue what you're talking about, and as someone who's struggled with those issues a majority of my life, the misinformation it spreads can be really damaging to people who are sick regardless of their recovery status.
(please read op tags before you decide to argue, thanks)
#tw ed mention#tw body checking mention#like this isn't a ''thinphobia exists'' post- it doesn't- this is stop treating a symptom of a mental health issue as a gottcha & misrepres#-enting what that behaviour actually is and why people do that.#and i promise you even if someone is body checking like. a) they know nobody needs to be told ''hey op this is body checking''#you can find yourself doing it unintentionally if you're just like existing yeah but like even then when you catch yourself you know that's#what you were doing. and b) any attention beyond ''this is not fair to expose other potentially sick people to'' is just feeding into the#disorder. like attention to the disorder- positive or negative- is seen as validation. it's oh look it's working i'm sick i'm sick*enough*#so like you aren't doing what you think you are doing at all.#idk i feel like a lot of people forget that a) not all eds are restrictive & b) they are a literal mental health condition. they are not a#choice. they often have very little to do with weight at their core. in the case of restrictive eds it is about the fact that you feel#your body is the ONLY thing in your life you can control (with some very dark shit often being the reason for that) and that get's#projected onto control of one's weight. my guess is because that's the most visible display of control. it is a front to mask some sort of#pain that usually ends up being related to trauma. and people of ANY WEIGHT can have a restrictive ed.#and like the same is true of other eds that aren't about restriction- it is rooted in unhealthy emotional coping mechanisms due to HURT#and like. as for bdd which also tends to be misrepresented and have shit slung at it for fuckin whatever reason#please consider a) anyone at any size can have bdd about any feature & b) it's literally and obssesive compulsive disorder (with body check#-ing being the compulsive behaviour for some but not all people) and it has been shown that the way we process our faces & features on a#neurological level is different from those who do not have bdd. and if you listen to any person with bdd they more often than not only have#an issue with their ''problem feature'' ON THEMSELF meaning whatever you want to call it- it's internalized#and even then people don't just wake up and decide every mirror is going to make them feel like they are in a funhouse. though no one#knows what causes it for certain- it is believed to be rooted in genetics comorbid conditions traumatic early life experiences or some#combo thereof. people don't choose it they don't choose which feature it latches onto they don't choose the distress it causes.#set the boundaries you have to set irt your own mental health. that is more than fine. but the moralizing of mental disorders is never#going to help anyone and i have seen a huge uptick of people who do not understand eds not only leaving non restrictive eds out entirley#but acting morally superior on the basis of never having experienced one or never having dealt with bdd or leaving people who don't fit the#prototypical view of what a sufferer of those conditions looks like out without thought.#and again- i want to emphasize- in my experience more often than not it is ppl who admit to having NO EXPERIENCE in that realm.#ableism#mental health
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I’m not trying to attack you, but do you know that proshipper means someone who supports and romanticizes pedophilia, incest, and abuse? Your reblog on that post seems to read that you think antis just hate on people for having ships they don’t like. But it’s completely different than that. Just looking on the proshipper side of Tumblr and the internet and you can see people happily shipping children and adults and making nsfw content of such things.
i appreciate that you're not being outright hostile, but i have to say, that on its own put you above basically every anti i've interacted with.
i understand where antis are coming from, i really do. there are a lot of things on the internet that make me deeply uncomfortable, including the minor/adult ships that you mention. i don't want to anything to do with those kinds of ships and i would be happiest if i never saw them again. which is why i'm proship.
nine times out of ten, if i see that kind of ship brought up on my dash, it's because i was following an anti without realizing it, and they brought it up unprompted and untagged, to talk about how bad it is that they exist. they are the ones putting that kind of content in front of my face and making it harder to avoid.
the thing about people who ship those ships is that they're generally very aware that not everyone wants to see that kind of content, and so they tag it. they make sideblogs to talk about it. they don't go out of their way to shove it in people's faces. that means i, and everyone else who doesn't like it, can avoid it.
what antis want is for it to not exist at all. they want the tags to be purged and blocked, and for anyone who uses those tags to have their accounts deleted. and sure, that might get rid of some of it, but do you know what would happen to the rest? it would stop being tagged. people who don't want to see it wouldn't have the tools to avoid it. this isn't just a hypothetical, that's what's happened any time a fan space has tried to do that.
that's not even getting into the rabbit hole of what should be banned and what shouldn't. obviously any content that depicts real children or real life abuse shouldn't exist and shouldn't be allowed to be posted, but basically any platform that people use already enforces those policies, and there's not much of a slippery slope to go down there. if it involves real living breathing people being abused, it's bad. end of discussion.
but the same can't be said for fiction. ask ten antis for a specific list of all the content that should be banned, and you'll get ten different answers. what about kink? what about roleplay? what about horror and murder and anything that involves fictional characters being graphically tortured? what about people using art to process terrible things that have happened to them? what about art that uses dark themes as a horror element? if you just want to ban anything questionable to anyone, that's the line of thinking that gets any mention of lgbt existence banned. and again, this isn't just a hypothetical, this has happened before, and that's generally where it leads.
i know, from personal experience, that antis do, in fact, send harassment to people just for shipping things they don't like. i've gotten accused of absolutely vile shit for shipping two fictional characters who were both consenting adults. i've seen ship wars turn into moral battlegrounds, over ships that an average person wouldn't bat an eye at.
the thing about "romanticization" is a whole other can of worms. the anti logic goes like this: if someone sees something (even if it's very obviously fictional) in a positive light enough times, they will start thinking it's okay in real life, and go on to hurt real people. the problem with that is that it's just. blatantly untrue.
if it were true every horror movie fan would be a serial killer, every person that studies dark media would be an unhinged psychopath, and everyone who is into ddlg would be a pedophile. but they're not. they just aren't. people have directed movies just as fucked up as the darkest shit on ao3, and are still capable of being normal human beings who know right from wrong in real life.
even if someone is that impressionable, scrubbing away the existence of every piece of questionable content isn't going to solve their problem, because they're still going to be vulnerable to con men, scams, and cultists. the only thing that would actually materially help someone like that is developing their own morals and critical thinking.
children are also more impressionable, and there's a lot of content that's not suitable for them, but that doesn't mean that content shouldn't exist. it just means that they should stick to spaces designed for them (which most social media sites, tumblr included, are not) or, if they're old enough to be responsible for their experience online, they, or a trusted adult in their lives, should block and filter out things that they aren't comfortable with.
which is what everyone on the internet should be doing. it's what i do, and it's made the internet a much more pleasant place to be. and it's why i sometimes worry for antis mental health, especially teenagers, because they're being told it's right and moral to seek out content that makes them uncomfortable and to engage with the people making it. and that's just. really bad. it's not good for the creators that they're harassing obviously, but it's also really bad for them! it's not healthy to seek out things that make you feel bad, and it's a terrible internet safety lesson to teach minors that it's okay for them to seek out and engage with people making adult content.
individual harassment and crusading is never going to succeed at removing dark content from the internet. it just isn't. at best you might get a small percentage of people who create that content to stop sharing it, at worst you're just going to make people stop tagging it, and either way, you're exposing yourself to things that make you feel bad, when you don't have to.
if you want to materially change the type of content you see, you can. the block button is your friend, use it liberally. same with content filtering and tag blocking.
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hedgehog-moss · 5 months
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9am: Pirlouit & I are waiting for the farrier; it's Hoof Day! The farrier always tends to run late so I have a thermos of tea and a breakfast pastry to eat as we wait. Pirlouit has been offered some hay and has refused to eat it because he's sulking because it's hoof day.
Isn't it nice to get a pedicure, Pirou?
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9:10am: The farrier is late and Pirlouit is worried, wondering what we're waiting for here on the road. Maybe he has been sold? to a sadistic new owner? who's going to shove him into a crate and send him to the salt mines like the donkeys in Pinocchio? Plus, he's more stressed than usual today because one of his hooves hurts (hence the farrier appointment), he's been limping for a few days and he doesn't know what the farrier will do to the hurt hoof. I told him there's only a 30% chance that he'll amputate it.
9:15am: Pirlouit's family is here to support him though! Or, in the case of Pampérigouste, here to puzzle out a vexing mystery.
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9:17am: The llamas have grown bored of standing there in support and have started eating the brambles near the gate (supportively). Very good initiative, I approve. Also I thought Poldine was trying to eat the brambles outside the gate (greener on the other side and all that) but no, she was trying to fit her head through the bars for a little kiss </3
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9:20am: Even Merricat is being supportive. (Well, she's waiting for me to go home so she can finally take her first morning nap in my lap.) Also Pirlouit has found some grass under the leaves and temporarily forgot all of his worries.
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9:22am: Poldine is determined to kiss this cat.
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9:24am: The farrier is here! As always he starts doing Pirlouit's hooves right there in the middle of the road, and if a car shows up well, "they can wait a few minutes... On n'est pas aux pièces" (this is a phrase for "there's no rush" that I've never heard anyone but my grandma use, it's nice to hear it again!) There aren't any cars anyway.
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9:27am: Pirlouit's hurt hoof has been diagnosed: he has an abscess. Since this autumn has been relentlessly rainy I thought perhaps it was a fungal infection—but the farrier told me he's been treating a lot of abscesses lately, as the very wet weather softens hooves which allows bacteria to enter.
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9:30am: The abscess was successfully drained and Pirlouit is now wearing a fashionable hoof bandage. He was very calm and brave throughout <3
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9:35am: The farrier left his car by the side of the road, and after releasing Pirlouit we crossed the pasture to go home have a cup of coffee.
9:45am: The farrier is gone; end of the post :)
10am: Pampe is gone, too.
Well, she probably left around 10am but I didn't immediately find out as I had more pressing problems. After the farrier left I went to get a small apple to reward Pirlouit, and when I returned to the pasture and he came over for his treat, I realised he was limping. But on the other side. We've just treated his right front hoof, and he is now holding up the left front hoof...
9:57am: After giving Pirlouit his apple I go home in a hurry to call the farrier and ask him to come back. But there's almost no mobile service around here and I can't reach him. This is so frustrating, he can't be very far... On a hunch I call a horse farm not far from here, maybe it's hoof day for their horses as well?
10am: It's not, they have no farrier appointment today, but when I explain my predicament the woman on the phone goes "if it's just to drain an abscess I can send you a guy who'll do it, no worries!" Every time I've had someone from this farm on the phone to ask something or other, they've offered to Send Me A Guy. It's never the same guy too, they have an endless supply of guys.
10:05am: Having accepted gratefully, I return to the pasture to catch poor Pirlouit again, who thought I was done bothering him for today. As I wait for The Guy, I find a spot with some unexpected mobile service and start googling hoof hardeners, because maybe if Pirou's prone to abscesses it's worth having something in prevention for wet months?
10:15am: I receive a text from the guy.
"Is it normal that your llama is on the road with a dog? They are going to [village]."
10:16am: I reply to the guy.
"It's neither normal nor abnormal."
10:17am: I tie Pirlouit to a tree and run back to the barn to get some muesli. Then start running on the road, trying to figure out how Pampe escaped, and the answer seems obvious: after his coffee the farrier crossed the pasture again to get back to his car, and he knew about the Special Anti-Pampe Safety Knot 3000 but either forgot and closed the gate like a normal person, or didn't do it correctly. Pampe in her little llama brain knows very well that most visitors don't know about the Anti-Pampe Knot so she hurries to check the gate after a stranger leaves her pasture. Meanwhile I was busy noticing Pirou's limp and trying to call the farrier back and I didn't check the gate as I usually do.
10:20am: The guy has found me trotting on the road with my muesli and picked me up in his car. We go back to where he last saw Pampe. I apologise for wasting his time and he tells me "I've heard of your llama" in a tone half-sympathetic half-fatalistic.
10:24am: Pampe & Pandolf have been located; are having the time of their lives. Pandolf is a bit sheepish when I call him, though. He loves going on adventures with his best friend so much but he knows it's a bad dog thing to do for some reason :(
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10:34am: The Guy is trying to push Pampe forward with his car while I try to attract her towards me with my muesli in a carrot-and-stick routine; Pampe occasionally veers off-road to eat some leaves, inspect the mud in the ditch, pretend to admire a cloud while secretly brainstorming strategies.
Guy's commentary: "This is worse than dealing with an escaped horse. I feel ignored. I feel powerless."
10:39am: Pampe is home! She didn't actually go very far. But since she hadn't locked the gate behind her, when we arrived we found Pampelune on the road as well, just sort of waiting for us like a sentinel. Pirlouit was still tied to his tree staring at his inexplicably orange foot, and Poldine was panicking because her mother had abandoned her for the millionth time and her grandma had left the pasture too and she couldn't figure out how :((( All she had to do was fiddle with the gate with her nose really, but it never occurred to her to do so, she's too innocent. She only inspects gates in order to figure out how to kiss someone through them. So she was alone in the pasture trotting in circles, making undignified sad goat noises when Pampe & I returned.
10:53am: Pirlouit's other hoof has been treated, hopefully he'll feel better and stop limping soon... I'll have to remove the bandages with scissors, clean both hooves and re-do the bandages in a couple of days which is probably going to be a whole Thing, considering he's suspicious of buckets of water and scissors and objects in general. But as for now everyone is in the pasture having some celebratory hay and Pampoldine is deeply relieved to find that she hasn't been abandoned by everyone forever (as she assumes every single time.)
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Also I realised I only paid the farrier half of what I owed him... I had prepared the exact sum but I had half in one pocket and half in another which was a risky idea. And neither of us checked what I was handing him, or noticed. He called me back when he arrived in a place with mobile reception and I told him about the whole affair and he said it's a good thing I accidentally paid him half because he didn't see the other abscess and failed to make the Anti-Pampe Knot 3000 so "it's a fair discount." So I got a half-price farrier visit thanks to Pampe (partly)... I won't tell her because she already thinks she's doing the world a favour by escaping (free fence integrity checks, free cardio training for me by forcing me to do interval running, free entertainment for everyone, plus her modest contribution to cosmic chaos.)
11am: I meant to take an "all's well that ends well" photo of the whole family but I realised Pampe is making her angry hammerhead shark face because her adventure was very short-lived and I didn't even take a picture of her escape, as I'd left my phone in my coat pocket under Pirlouit's tree (& supervision) when I went after her. (I figured I was about to run for 15min and would not need my heavy coat)
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She thinks I did it on purpose to demoralise her by refusing to document her victories. But she's not giving up.
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love🥺🫶🏻I click at my notification so fast when I saw your posting again adfkgk you have no idea how much I like your writing! also I'm new to your blog but if anyone trying to hurt you I'm......going to give them a really bad time... 😤💪//hj
Anyway 🥺🫶🏻🫶🏻can I request a reaction of wrio and neuvillette with a darling who has a habit of looking at the price on menus...like why worry your silly little head? when you're with them those silly little numbers mean nothing. it's one of your habit that's hard to let go but he find them really cute so it's okay!
Awwww thank you so much, dear!!!! You'll be happy to know that I've got nothing but love on here which I'm so so grateful for ♡ but I appreciate you so much for your protection ♡
And what a lovely idea!! This is so something I struggle with so it was interesting to write about and imagine what our favorite boys would say!! I hope you like it ♡
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✧˖° you're worth all the mora in the world⋆.˚✧
Wriothesley & Neuvillette x gn!reader (separate) II fluff!
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"You're not allowed to order water."
"Wriothesley..."
He slides the drink menu over to you with a stern, "Pick one."
"...but I don't need—"
"It's not about needing. I took you out to spoil and indulge you, don't deny me that pleasure."
You've been dating Wriothesley long enough for him to find your cautiousness when it comes to his funds an issue.
On the first few dates you two shared, though he'd rather have pampered you with lavish meals and treats, he decided to look the other way when it came to how you'd always miraculously choose the most inexpensive dishes on the menu.
"I guess that's only polite...", he reasoned with himself, weighing whether or not he should mention to you that money was not a problem for him; but eventually, he thought it better to just give you time.
"Once we get more comfortable, it'll change."
And once you two did get comfortable, and he found that your behavior, in fact, did not change, his patience wore thin.
Why were you still so uncomfortable with him? It was almost an insult that you thought so little of him to assume he'd find paying for you a burden.
So, he takes to ordering for you. He knows what you like, and he knows if he lets you choose for yourself, the price will play a factor into what you order—even subconsciously.
Until you start choosing the most expensive meals on the menu, you're not allowed to make objections or requests without grounds like allergies or dislikes; which you won't have, because he knows you too well by now.
If you try to lie and tell him you don't like something he's picked for you, you will fail. Miserably, so.
"I don't like crab.", you argue—peeking over your menu at him in an attempt to hide your tells that he's become much too familiar with. He could read you like a book, and you have no idea how he's gained so much expertise in the field of you.
"Uh huh, sure, doll.", he doesn't even look at you, his attention on the waiter as he orders. "That one—", he says, flicking his finger to point at you, "is going to have golden crab.".
"And the crab will be market-priced. Will that be all right with you, sir?", the waiter feels the need to confirm, as market-priced foods are often quite expensive.
You jump in, "How mu—"
"That's fine.", Wriothesley interjects, giving you a stern look as he plucks the menu from your hands, revealing your red cheeks (a symptom of your fibbing), and passes it to the waiter before handing him his own. He doesn't need to hear the price, it's just a number, and you're worth more than all the mora in his bank account. No matter how ardently you can try to protest, he's committed to giving you what he knows you want—even if you hesitate to ask for it.
And watching from across the table how your eyes glimmer and beautiful cheeks turn rosy pink as the opulent flavors hit your tongue is more than enough compensation for him to recieve in return.
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Neuvillette finds your financial prudence to be a quality of yours he actually quite admires. Too often, he sees thoughtless individuals land themselves in his court with grave, unsettled debts due to gambling or overspending, so your conscientiousness is to be commended!
However, when he is the one footing the bill, he sees no logical need for you to apply this virtue. He knows what he can afford, so you need not worry about it; and to see that telltale crease between your eyebrows as you worry yourself over what to choose on a menu with nothing priced less than ˙✧12500 mora, simply crushes him.
He can never sit right with himself when you have that anxious look on your face, it makes him feel like he’s failing as your partner. And over something so small as a handful of mora! He finds it necessary to talk you through the logic of the situation rather than your—for lack of better word—illogical fixation on a metaphysical number.
“Sweetheart,”, he calls in that soothing, deep vibration of his voice that feels like resting in the coolest, calmest waters of Fontaine, “I am the Chief Justice of Fontaine; as such, I’ve been entrusted to oversee both criminal and civil trials due to my ability to apply sound judgement to otherwise complex situations, unrivaled by anyone else in the nation.”
“…”, you sit quietly with your hands in your lap and blink at him, tongue-tied as his explanation begins to make perfect sense.
“…don’t you think I would have the discernment to manage my own finances?”, he concludes, hammering his claim into you with one last strike.
You have no rebuttal. He’s pinned you so effortlessly, it’s embarrassing. Sometimes, it’s a challenge to date a man with such vast practice in rhetorical argument.
Your worries being soothed with such tact actually makes you quite flustered, your cheeks and nose turning a soft shade of red as you pout in defeat.
The way your expression graduated from nervous to sheepish with just a few sentences of reasoning makes him chuckle, reaching out to lift your chin with the knuckle of his index finger with a cheery, but reserved smile on his face.
“Darling, I’ve brought you out tonight to spoil you. Do me the honor of having some fun while we’re here? There’s nothing more I want right now than to see your beautiful smile.”
You find it’s impossible to hold back the simper that blooms on your face from that remark, to which he smirks with pride.
This was the most fulfilling trial he’s held in a century.
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neoraso · 4 months
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riize when they're jealous
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shotaro
is a little oblivious at first- for example: tries to make friends with the guy
then as the conversation drags on and taro realizes this guy is barely acknowledging him,, and is literally only talking to you he gets pretty uncomfortable
you are also getting uncomfortable and shotaro notices so he finds a way to quickly end the conversation (pretending you had somewhere else to be or smth)
he doesn't get too down about if afterwards and definitely doesn't blame you for anything he just tries to make jokes about how attractive you are "people just can't stay away from you! you're like the flower to a bee (⌒▽⌒)”
but honestly, it still irks him a bit. pls make sure to give him at least one kiss and remind him he's ur shining star
eunseok
def not the type to be worried about you around his friends or your male friends.. but random guys actually hitting on you in real.
he would never admit to being jealous, he tries to tell himself he's just annoyed with the guy or like.. worried for your safety which- um ok wtv
that being said ,, when he does get this way he goes completely cold. hard frown, glaring eyes, clenched jaw etc. etc.
he's very confident in your relationship but something about the highly unrealistic possibility that you could be swayed to leave him ruffles his feathers to say the least
i hope no one would be bold enough to try to hit on you WHILE you're with him because he'd immediately get in front of you and confront the guy "who even are you? what do you need to talk to her for?"
sungchan
oh dear lord.... it's not good. like he wont hurt anyone but sometimes wants to. like,,,
ok it depends if you were far away talking to a guy he would immediately come over and wrap his arm around you and goes "who's this." and ur like PLS don’t do anything embarrassing 😳
it’s to the point he does not want to hear about your past relationships (unless it was like a serious conversation) bc it makes his skin crawl thinking about another person touching his girl
he trusts his friends but it will take a bit of convincing to trust your friends. not bc he doesn’t have faith in you he would just get pissed at other people thinking they had a chance
i’m making him sound like a freak but he’s very open and vocal about how he feels and wants to work on it with you - but he’s always gonna be protective like a guard dog
wonbin
he’s like ., quiet possessive (?) he's just like " ur only my baby right?" wants you all to himself, near him as much as possible
jokingly says you can’t watch other groups but is like ..half joking he lowkey doesn’t want you thinking other guys are cooler than him
it really just comes down to the fact that he doesn't want to lose you.
if there was a real situation where someone was like actually flirting with you, he would get soooo sulky. - like comes over to you and puts his hand on your back, smiling at you like everything is fine 🙂( 😐)
but when he hears you say "yes, this is my boyfriend i was telling you about." his chest puffs up and he’s like jumping for joy inside T_T needs extra kisses too afterwards
seunghan
you are his baby and is very clear about it in public . always has his hands on you so it would be insane for someone to hit on you but if he walked away and someone approached u…
hhhhh lowkey gets an attitude … mostly with the other guy like tongue in cheek “is this guy serious…”
honestly kind of confrontational “can i help you? what do you need from my girlfriend?” can be intimidating when he wants to and makes sure people know he is NOT playing around
first makes sure you’re ok and then he’s like “wtf.. do i have to give you an ‘i ♡ my bf’ shirt or smth”
with his and your friends he doesn’t have a problem he trusts you all the way he just gets offended when people don’t get the hint that you’re taken
sohee
surprisingly, gets more jealous than you’d expect like sometimes ur like ???
he really just wants all your attention and if other guys try to take it he’s like . abt to start barking
that being said he trusts you 100% but when you notice his smile is like 10% less bright than usual and you ask what’s wrong he’s like “OHHH nothing -_- i just can’t believe i’m up against the whole city bc you’re so pretty. what am i to do ?”
ur just like 😭my sweet boy !! give him a kiss he’ll be cured and recovers pretty quickly
kind of is one that doesn’t really like you having male friends but he doesn’t want to control you so he’s doing deep breathing exercises if you’re really involved in a conversation with someone that isn’t him.
anton
ohhh sweet sweet anton. honestly ! doesn’t get too jealous
like he gives u your space if you’re talking to another guy but if they start subtly hitting on you he’s like ?
will bring it up to you later when you’re sitting with him like stroking your arm and he’s like “sooooo that guy ..” and ur like oh 🙄that was so annoying. did it upset you? :( and he’s like “um . i mean… well not really it was just weird ..”
will appreciate your reassurance more than he shows you
might be one to be insecure with you around the members just because you would get so close to them he’s like ha…. what if they got even closer … but then he remembers none of you would ever do that then he just hugs you a little tighter
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drunkkenobi · 10 days
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Hi bb, ty for the prompt to write my thoughts!
So I can't get on tumblr at work anymore unless I go outside to get good signal on my phone so I have only been privy to what's going on here today from friends on discord. So maybe I'm missing some nuance or the what my mutuals think and I apologize in advance for that but I'm going to speak plainly.
This is the only way Watcher is going to survive.
The view counts have been steady through Mystery Files season 2 but they aren't, like, astronomical. A video with a million views nets a channel between $10,000 - $30,000. Guys. That's nothing for Watcher. They have to pay each of their 25+ employees a salary with insurance and benefits and for everything else their channel requires. Steven said in the video today that a season of Ghost Files costs hundreds of thousands of dollars. I don't think everyone is hearing that part and understanding how much money that is, especially compared to many other YouTubers they watch. I'm not an expert on other YouTubers but I look at the Sims people I watch. They are successful with views in the hundred k range because they are a company of one. Themselves and maybe paying a freelancer to help edit their videos. For one person, the stakes are lower and the potential for profit is higher! Especially for gamers that are filming in their homes. YouTubers like this, making niche content on the cheap, are who is going to make it in YouTube now.
Watcher is none of those things. They have, from day one, wanted to make high quality unscripted content. All of their shows are shows. They aren't just "Ryan and Shane do [thing]" or "Steven eats [whatever]". They are shows, like ones you see on cable TV or any streamer. And shows are not cheap. Unscripted is cheaper, sure, than scripted. But that doesn't mean cheap. Especially not with the sheer production value we've seen on all their shows, in particular Ghost Files (hundreds of thousands of dollars). That is how much something like Ghost Adventures costs, which is on Travel Channel, an actual TV network that puts up all those costs.
So. That's why Watcher has to pivot to survive.
I think it's a great idea, personally. And yes, I am in a position where I can financially afford it no problem, which I know is a privilege! I am very lucky in that regard. And I understand that many people are upset they won't see the boys as easily on YouTube anymore. That is valid! But they have openly said they are totally fine with password sharing and I think that's a great way to cut down on costs for some folks. Also right now there's a great deal on the yearly sub for early subscribers. $40 for a year is cheaper than any streaming service and it doesn't go to anyone other than Watcher.
I understand that people feel hurt and blindsided, but I think Watcher is also feeling this too. They have been so excited about this and being able to make whatever they want without having to worry about sponsors and now they're mostly seeing anger directed their way. Especially at Steven. Steven is not rich. You know who's rich? David Zaslav, a man who is single-handedly ruining Warner Brothers and making himself a billionaire while he's at it. THAT is the kind of person we should be directing our anger at streaming prices and quality of the media landscape at. Not one small business that is just trying to survive so they can continue paying their employees.
And one more thing. I've seen folks saying they'd rather watch more ads than pay and while I get that, that's not going to help Watcher make what they want. YouTube famously demonetizes videos with swears which is why I can't watch a video with DRAG QUEENS without every other line being bleeped and Watcher has been so good about not bleeping their content because they know we would hate it. And YouTube does this because of advertisers. Advertisers only want to appeal to the most broad of audiences so that means not supporting anything slightly left of center. Having to deal with ads sucks from the creator perspective and does not help them in the long run.
Anyway, this is all a bit rambling, but these are my thoughts on WatcherTV. I'm extremely excited to subscribe and make them make more Weird Wonderful World. I hope to see you all there.
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ginevrapng · 3 months
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𝐈'𝐌 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐃
pairing: fwb!james x reader
word count: 1.5k words
warnings and contents: for my friends with benefits james there is no smut asdfghjkl, hurt, jealousy, FLUFF
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you're sitting in the great hall eating breakfast and you spot james across the hall with all the other gryffindors. you're unable to stop your lip quirk upwards as you hear his boisterous laugh, which you guess is due to some joke or prank he's retelling.
your small smile drops as you see lily evans walk up the marauders. you've never had a problem with her, she is a popular gryffindor that is friendly and works well to get top marks but the way she's walking up to the marauders, looking at james determined and with a mission, fills you with slight dread. if you were completely honest you felt she spent more time with james then necessary, especially considering how they've got their own friends and how many times she turned him down in the past.
the hall is already pretty quiet due to everyone already have eaten and a lot of people stop their conversations or lower their voices as they see lily go up to james. everyone in every house knows that's irregular. for the previous years of hogwarts james followed lily everywhere like a lost puppy always asking her out and coming up to her but he had stopped. no one knew why. it was because of you.
because the hall became so silent you heard what evans asked james and you wished the hall was louder, you wished you didn't hear, you wish you were somewhere else, anywhere else, you started to become sick as she asked james if he's free this weekend to go to hogsmeade. "i don't know, i think remus has to study but i know sirius and peter are free too. are all the other girls going?" at that moment it's hard to tell if he's actually oblivious or if he knows exactly what she's asking him but he's choosing not to answer. he has a smile on his face but even from a distance it looks a bit forced to you.
if you were anyone else you would lean to the fact he's being oblivious but you're not anyone, people always underestimate james and you have a feeling james knows exactly what she's actually asking but for some reason he's pretending that he has no clue what she means but you don't know why he'd do that. james is kind and wouldn't want to embarrass someone so publicly but at the same time you're unsure of why he'd be so sure of turning her down but the fact that he is does makes you incredibly happy, you won't tell him that though.
"oh, i don't actually know what the girls are doing. i meant just us two. like on a date?" lily asks him, not wavering at all even with what james has previously said.
james sighs under his breath. "i've got things to do, you should go with someone else."
"what about another weekend?" lily asks, hopeful and you don't blame her for that, anyone would be hopeful asking out someone who in the past asked them out every other day.
"lily, i'm sorry if i'm hurting your feelings but i don't want to go on a date with you," he tells her and you can see that he's trying to be as nice as he can be in a situation like this. no one caught on to the fact that james said that he's only sorry that he's hurt her feelings, he's not sorry for not wanting to date her though, like it's not even an option on my mind, he's not entertaining the thought about going on a date with her, you don't catch on, lily doesn't, the marauders don't, no one does.
everyone is stunned, they thought for sure he'd say yes, he has been pining after her for so long and most people just thought he started playing hard to get, giving her some distance until she recognises how much she misses him but that wasn't true at all. lily never crosses his mind anymore, why would she? he has you. you're all he thinks about. yeah at one point he fancied lily but he loves you.
after a couple beats lily replies with an, "oh, alright then. i guess i'll see you in the common room." this time it's lily that forces a smile. james doesn't respond. she has just been rejected and it's making her feel dejected, not only does james not want to go on a date with her but he doesn't want to hang out with her either. the whole time she thought this was some ploy from james to get her attention but she realised she was wrong. he has no interest in her at all.
as soon as lily's out of earshot and going out of the great hall you hear the loud voices of james' friends. "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT PRONGS? DON'T YOU WANT LILY ANYMORE?"
"that was mean james, you didn't have to reject her in front of everyone."
"YOU DON'T WANT EVANS? I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. I NEVER THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD COME. CAN I GO FOR HER?"
"i've got to say i'm surprised to prongs, i never thought you'd shut lily down like that. she really does like you and if this is some trick to get her to like you more, don't do it. she talks about you a lot."
james interrupts his friends knowing this could go on all morning and knowing that you're definitely hearing all this, worried you might be getting the wrong idea. "you can go for her pads, it's none of my business." they all look even more shocked as they hear this but he carries on, "i have no interest in lily whatsoever, yes i used to but i moved on from that. i didn't try to be mean peter but she wasn't taking a hint, i kept trying to tell her no and to let her down gently and moony honestly you shouldn't be surprised if anything it's more surprising that this hasn't happened sooner, me and lily have absolutely nothing in common and we can barely hold a conversation together that last more than ten minutes."
they're all rendered speechless at james as they realise he is 100 percent serious about this. no matter if lily chases james just like he chased her his answer will always be the same, no.
in james' eyes lily doesn't hold a candle to you.
he flicks his eye to where you're sitting and you briefly make eye contact. james was feeling in a bit of a negative mood after what happened but that immediately changed when he glances at you to see that you're already looking at him. you see a stupid grin appear on his face, uncontrolled and automatic, you quickly look down knowing that you've been caught watching him. as you're looking down you smile at the whole situation. james told lily no, and he said it so certain like nothing could change his mind. that absolutely stopped the sicky feeling you had. no one would notice you smiling as you're looking away from everyone but james knew that's what you'd be doing.
james wants to grab your face and lift it up so you're looking at each other again, he already misses your face and the colours of your eyes and it's only been a second since you've looked away from him. he wants to see your bashful smile as you try to look away from him again but he'll just place hundreds of kisses all over your face instead. he wants to desperately tell you that lily doesn't mean anything to him, you have gotten jealous on occasion due to lily even if you deny it, hopefully this might help. he wants to tell you that there's nothing to be jealous about. although you both know that he'll likely tease you about how you was "staring" at him the whole time when he turned down lily.
"what the fuck are you grinning about james?" remus asks, he seems the most annoyed with james about how he handled the situation, remus and lily are study buddies so they are actually good friends and he's known for awhile how lily has felt about james he's just always thought james still feels the same way, he thought it was mutual.
james snaps out off his thoughts of you, not wanting the marauders to question him about you. "nothing important," james replies, not looking back at you.
he hopes that he'll have the chance to talk to you today, even if it's for five minutes. maybe you'll talk about your plans for the weekend and you can try and find time to get together, maybe you'll tease him and say lily invited you to hogsmeade while you were at dinner.
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7s3ven · 3 months
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can you please do poseidon/reader and she finds out luke is the lightning thief?
THE GRUDGE. luke (pjo)
( master list )
IN WHICH… Y/N L/N can’t forgive Luke for his crimes despite loving him more than she loves herself.
“I know in my heart hurt people, hurt people. And we both drew blood, but, man, those cuts were never equal.”
Warnings : spoilers, small angst (in my opinion lol. I’m more sensitive to family/friendship angst, not relationship angst), short(ish) oneshot
A/N : to any other writers, do you ever act out the situations you’re writing so you can write a better descriptions of reactions and then you realise that you’re actually a good actor?
Because I literally just acted out Y/N’s reaction and either I’m great at fake crying (which has been a talent of mine) … or my heart-wrenching sobs were real 😨. Also, the song one of us from the Lion King suits Luke perfectly.
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The life of a half-blood wasn’t easy, especially not when you were a forbidden child. Y/N flipped through her fashion magazine, aimlessly swinging her legs as she lay on her front. “Y/N.” Luke called out, pushing the creaky door open. She lifted her head, staring at him curiously.
“Hey, Luke.” She smiled at him, clasping her hands together. He grinned back, slowly walking over to her side.
“You feeling okay?” He asked, placing a heavy hand on her shoulder. With Percy, her half-brother gone, she was alone in her cabin. Again.
Y/N gazed at him through her lashes. “Yeah. I’m good. I’m fine.” She whispered, reaching out to grasp his wrist. Luke bit the inside of his cheek.
“I have your phone.” Luke uttered, handing Y/N her device. Phones weren’t allowed in camp but Luke found a way around that, much to Y/N’s happiness. She had spent far too long in the mortal world to give up scrolling through social media.
“Thanks, love.” Her pink-tinted lips curved into a soft smile. “You have no idea how much I need this now that Percy is gone on his quest. It’s so lonely here.”
Y/N always hated being in her own company. Her cabin got messy and she never had the motivation to clean it. She was thankful for Luke because he always helped her with the mundane task that should have been easy, but not for her.
“No problem, princess.” Luke lightly kissed her forehead while she laughed. “I can’t wait until Percy is back because I have a feeling that things are about to change.” Nothing good lasts for long. Y/N, more than anyone, knew that. She stalked through the thick vegetation, harbouring a heavy sword. She had heard rumours of Luke… and she needed to confirm it for herself, even if it meant endangering her safety.
“Luke.” She called out, her voice shaking. She didn’t want to believe the rumours but Luke was unpredictable. Ever since returning from his quest, he hadn’t been the same.
Y/N had been at Camp Half-Blood for longer than most and she had seen demigods come and go, desperately searching for glory but never finding enough of it.
“Luke.” She said again, repeating it like it was a mantra that would save him from the terrible fate he had chosen. She dragged her sword against the ground, her eyes scanning for the slightest bit of movement amongst the trees.
She sighed, thinking of returning to camp before she spotted a flicker of orange. "Luke?" She whispered, but he still heard her. She stepped towards him, breathing heavily.
"Luke... what... is it true? Did you..." Y/N couldn't find the right words. "What did you do, Luke?" She asked, grabbing him by the front of his shirt when she noticed how he avoided her gaze and how his eyes looked so guilty. "What did you do?!"
"I did what I had to, Y/N. The gods... they don't care about us." Luke stiffened as Y/N glowered at him, her eyes filled with so much rage and hate and sadness and everything in between.
"You're wrong, Luke!" She exclaimed, harshly shaking him.
"I'm not like you, Y/N! My father doesn't care about me. Yours might give a shit about you but that doesn't apply to anyone! Look around you. Poseidon ignored Percy for years while nurturing you. My father abandoned my mother and I when he could have helped us. Ares hates Clarisse for being a girl and forces her to train harder until she collapses. They try so hard to find every little flaw in us that they ignore what we've done for them."
"But why this, Luke? Why betray us? Me! You betrayed me, Luke! And all your friends and family! Hermes may not give a shit about you, but I do! I have loved you since we first met, Luke! I fucking love you and you betrayed me!" Y/N slammed her fists against his chest, screaming until tears welled up in her eyes. "What did you do to Percy?" She muttered, her voice barely even a whisper. "Tell me. Tell me now and I might spare you! Please… please.” She hiccuped, her hits growing weaker.
Luke wheezed as Y/N gripped his throat for a split second. "He'll be fine... he only got stung."
"I hate you." Y/N seethed, rage engulfing her soft heart until it spilled out and poisoned her body with its toxins. "I hate you. I hate you. I hate you! Gods, I hate you, Luke! Fuck you! Fuck… you!” She screamed, the sound echoing around the empty trees.
But she still couldn't bring herself to stab him. "Get out of here, Luke. Go! Leave! I never want to see your face again!" Y/N's voice shook as she shoved Luke away from her.
Heart-wrenching sobs slipped past her lips as she pointed an accusing finger at Luke. "The gods have fucked up, Luke, but you are no different. Maybe you had the right idea at first... but you went with it the wrong way. And it cost you everything. Don't go near Percy again. Don’t you dare touch him ever again! You don’t deserve his kindness! Don't even look at him because I promise you, if you do, I will drive a stake through your heart!” Y/N's confident voice faltered for a moment. She shakily inhaled. "I hope you're happy with yourself." That fated day still haunted Y/N's mind. She often had nightmares about it, where things turned out different had she stabbed Luke. She always woke up with a loud gasp, covered in a light layer of sweat.
On her nightside table, her phone rang. She hadn't been using it much since Luke left. She slowly reached for it. Nobody had her phone number except her close friend, who lived in Tokyo, her cousin, and... Luke.
Her heart was beating unusually fast as she shakily turned the device over to peer at the screen. Her stomach churned and she dropped her phone in horror. Percy was in the infirmary, still recovering from the pit scorpion attack. She was somewhat thankful for that.
She let the phone ring, letting out a sigh of relief when it finally stopped. But it started again, and again. Until on the third ring, she finally clicked the green button.
She didn't say anything, flinching at the sound of Luke's voice. "Y/N? Y/N. Thank goodness you picked up! I knew you weren't going to answer my iris message so I was hoping your phone was working."
Y/N cut Luke off from his ranting. "Luke... don't call me again."
"Wait, Y/N. Please listen to me. I love"-
She hung up before he could finish. She stared at her phone, gripping it tightly. With a guttural scream, she threw it across the room. It landed safely on Percy's bed and a part of her was glad that it did. It was one of the only things she had left from Luke.
She didn't know if she could ever forgive Luke for betraying her trust. And the worst thing was that she still loved him from the bottom of her heart. "You good?" Y/N quietly walked towards Percy, helping him sit up. He groaned.
"Yeah. I'm sorry about Luke... I know how much he meant to you." Percy's eyes softened as he stared at Y/N, intertwining his fingers with hers.
"He, uh... tried calling me last night." Y/N pressed her lips into a thin line.
Percy tilted his head to the side. "So what'd you do?"
"I ignored him until the third time... then I hung up after I told him to stop contacting me."
"You don't have to be so tough all the time, Y/N." Percy uttered, pulling her into a tight hug. His arms wrapped around her waste and she sighed.
"I really want to scream, Percy. I just... can't believe he could do that so easily. I mean, leave us... leave me. I'm trying not to care and I'm trying to say I'm fine but I can't let it go." Tears welled up again, dripping down the red apples of her cheeks.
Y/N would be lying if she said she hadn’t tried to figure out why Luke did what he did. She tried to piece everything together but it only hurt her head and heart to think.
After ensuring Percy was comfortable, she stepped outside. The camp was in utter chaos after Luke’s betrayal and they were trying to find more spies amongst them. Most people suspected Y/N because she ran into the woods to confront Luke and she was closely associated with him, which didn’t help. But she loved her friends and she could never leave them as Luke had.
She wandered into a small clearing, dipping her hand into a cold river nearby to calm herself. She didn’t even notice someone was watching her from behind until they cleared their throat.
With a panicked gasp, Y/N looked over her shoulder. She was expecting a fellow camper, maybe even Luke, but not Hermes in all his glory. The pair stared at each other for a minute before Hermes finally broke the awkward silence.
“You’re Y/N, right?” He hesitatingly pointed at her, worried he had the wrong girl.
She nodded.
“I know I’m probably the last person you want to see after Luke left.” Hermes started off, sheepishly scratching the back of his neck.
“Luke is the last person I want to see.” Y/N retorted, “You’re second on that list.”
“He really did like you, you know."
“It wasn’t enough apparently.” Y/N shrugged, already accepting that she could tear Luke from his fate, “Maybe I deserved the betrayal… but not from Luke. He practically made me into the person I am. I guess he wanted to see how high he could build me before I fell. He had everything yet he still wanted more.”
“He cared about you. Dare I say, Y/N, he love”-
She cut him off just as she had cut Luke off. “Don’t say he loved me because if he did then he wouldn’t have done this! He… he wouldn’t have done all this!” Y/N choked on her words as she bit back a sob.
“He still loves you. Not loved. Not past-tense. Never past-tense. I’ve seen him, you know. He misses you and for a while, he tried to contact you in every way he could just so he could hear your voice. Even if you were screaming at him. I know that in another life, he wishes he didn’t have to leave you behind.”
“There shouldn’t be another life!” Y/N exclaimed. Getting angry at a god was dangerous but she was so frustrated and angry and hurt. Hermes didn’t seem to mind. He nodded his head, understanding her emotions. “Don’t you get it? You also have to take the blame. You’re part of the reason why he betrayed us!”
“He’ll forgive me eventually.”
Y/N shook her head. “No. You and every other deity thinks that your neglected child will forgive you but they might not. They might forgive but they will never forget. If I can’t even forgive the boy I love with all my heart, how do you think Luke will ever forgive you?” She furrowed her eyebrows.
“Forgiveness takes strength." Hermes whispered, barely loud enough for Y/N to hear. "Luke is much stronger than I originally thought and you, the mighty daughter of the sea god himself, are too.”
“Yeah, well,” Y/N shrugged as she stood up, brushing the dirty off her pants. “I don’t think I’m quite there yet.”
“It takes time.” Hermes said, “Meanwhile, I would suggest answering that.” He pointed at her phone that was ringing in her hand. Y/N didn’t even notice with how distracted she was.
She briefly looked down at the screen and raised her head again, her lips parting when Hermes was nowhere to be seen.
She hesitatingly pressed the accept button and raised her phone to her ear. She heard him quietly gasp, surprised she even answered again. “Luke… hi.”
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lazycats-stuff · 5 months
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Can I request a batfamily fic with a reader who loves reading and is rly shy but they’re trying to spend more time with them ♥️
Aww yeah... I can just see the fluff. Also, the speed that you sent this request made laugh so hard my friend looked at me like, are you okay?
Summary: (Y/N) is very shy. The others try to spend time with him.
Warnings: fluff, shy reader...
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Bruce knew that not all of his children would be vigilantes. He knew that not all of them would be cut out for it. He was actually very happy to have one normal kid at least. Well, some what normal if you will. (Y/N) was very shy and introverted. It has been a bit difficult for him to open up about something.
Bruce never minded the fact that (Y/N) was silent and just shy overall, but there were times when he wanted (Y/N) to speak up when he was hurt or just bothered by something. Sure, as he is too emotionally constipated and finds it difficult to talk about his emotions, (Y/N) was just shy and that's what made it difficult.
The boys were fully aware how shy (Y/N) could be. Damian found it weird when he first came. He just couldn't understand how someone could be so... Damian couldn't describe it, which was something that he has never done.
You could almost say that Damian was speechless about the way (Y/N) was shy and how he couldn't speak up for himself. At first, Damian teased him about it, well, more like insulted (Y/N). Bruce and the others were trying to get him to stop doing it, but wouldn't.
It wasn't until (Y/N) saved Damian and himself from a very dangerous situation. Damian was shocked once he realized. It has been due too the fact that (Y/N) had a radar for stress. He has developed it after years of being stressed in public.
He could see it coming from a mile away and that might have saved his own and Damian's life. And Damian had to admit, it was incredible to see how someone who is apprehensive about interaction with other people could observe them and just see if there is something coming.
Damian was trained to look for those signs, but to see that an untrained, shy teen saw it before him? It made him gain some respect for (Y/N) and soon enough, Damian was very protective of his older brother too.
Whenever (Y/N) was in public, Damian acted as a bodyguard. Everyone acted as if they are (Y/N)'s bodyguards. They know that (Y/N) doesn't like the public and anyone really approaching him. Bruce and the rest of the family didn't have a problem with protecting their brother and son.
The only thing that they really hated was the fact that (Y/N) is bottled up in his room reading and not spending any time with them. Sure, he studies and reads, doing something productive, but he didn't spend any time with them.
Jason was the one who was the most whiny one about, but he understood why he shouldn't push it. Every time he would be outside of his room, Jason would follow him around, before just grabbing him and taking him to the couch in the library and then the two are reading together in silence.
(Y/N) liked it a lot and the two were just often basking in silence. (Y/N) always fell asleep on Jason's chest and Jason followed a few minutes later, catching up on the sleep he needs. The two had that routine and it felt nice.
Dick just watched the movies that were based on books that (Y/N) has read or if he didn't do it by any means, which is impossible, then (Y/N) would find that book to read it. If he read the book, he would comment during the movie about inaccuracies or accuracies.
Dick would often smile at the way (Y/N) talked passionately about his opinion. He wouldn't back down from it and Dick loved it. he stayed quiet and then carried his brother upstairs. (Y/N) was protesting it, but Dick knew he loved it.
Tim? Whenever Tim needed a break from a case and if he just needed to be listened to, he would go to (Y/N). His brother is a great listener and not just because he is quiet, but because he often tries to provide the solutions. Tim would just come in after knocking and then he would plop down on the bed and talk to (Y/N). (Y/N) would hum occasionally and Tim would be like, I know right?
And Bruce? He had no problem going to the bookstores to browse for books (Y/N) wanted. He walked behind him, offering his suggestions for (Y/N). The young boy would just hum and Bruce followed closely behind. (Y/N) took Albert Camus' Stranger and he was interested in the Communist Manifesto... But would he be judged for it?
" What's wrong? " Bruce asked and (Y/N) pointed at the book in question.
" Oh. I would take it. I have never had a chance of reading it unfortunately. " Bruce said, taking a copy into his hands.
" I'm just afraid of being judged you know. " (Y/N) mumbled and Bruce took a copy.
" Don't be afraid to read anything. Reading is a good thing, especially when you can read and understand philosophy. I will read it after you do. " Bruce said and (Y/N) smiled a little bit. Bruce smiled too and he put his hand on the back of (Y/N)'s neck to guide him to another aisle.
(Y/N) liked it when Bruce put his hand on the back of his neck. It made him feel safe and he liked that level and sense of security. Bruce liked it too, it showed to him that (Y/N) trusted him. He had no problem with paying for the books.
Bruce had no problem with spoiling his son with books. (Y/N) stopped, eyes focusing on a cookbook. He thought of Alfred immediately and took it. Bruce smiled, but didn't say anything. Alfred was one of (Y/N)'s favorites and he saw that Alfred didn't have this cookbook and (Y/N) would be damned if he didn't get it for Alfred.
Bruce just took his credit card out and paid for it all, without even looking at the price. (Y/N) smiled shyly as Bruce carried his bag for him. Bruce scowled once he saw paparazzi outside and (Y/N) saw them too.
Bruce often kept (Y/N) by his side, arm wrapped tightly around his shoulders, allowing him protection and a place to hide his face away from the invading paparazzi. (Y/N) accepted it and his hid his face away from prying eyes.
Bruce frowned at the paparazzi and made sure that (Y/N) got into the car in order to save him from the paparazzi. Bruce huffed as he entered the car, quickly driving away.
" Well, that was crazy. " Bruce said as he tried to make the light of the situation. (Y/N) nodded, feeling tired from the paparazzi interaction. His social battery is officially out and he just wanted to go to his room and read.
" Is your battery out? " Bruce joked and (Y/N) smiled very slightly.
There is this joke that (Y/N) has a low social battery and it gets depleted every time he has an interaction with anybody outside of the family and he would just make a be line for his room. Every time without fail.
Once they got to the manor, (Y/N) quickly found Alfred and gave him the cookbook and then ran towards his room, trying not to bump into any of his brothers. Jason was the first one to see him, but didn't stop him.
" What happened to (Y/N)? " Jason asked Bruce.
" Paparazzi found us. "
Jason whistled and then he made his way upstairs. Sure, his brother preferred to be alone, but that's not really healthy... And Jason wants to make sure that his brother is okay. (Y/N) hates the paparazzi and has had bad experience with them and Bruce had no problem punching one.
Jason punched one for his brother. He was happy that evening. Jason opened the door to (Y/N)'s room, smiling at the small groan from his brother.
" I know, but you need some comfort. I need to spend some time with you. " Jason said closing the door before plopping down on the bed quickly next to (Y/N), looking at the books he bought.
" I didn't know you were into philosophy? " Jason inquired, looking at the Communist Manifesto and Stranger.
" I have always heard that they were good, especially the Stranger. And I didn't thought that I was ready to understand it. " (Y/N) explained and Jason nodded.
" Lets cuddle. I missed you today. " Jason said as he hugged his brother, rolling them down to lay down comfortably. Jason closed his eyes and smirked as the others came in.
There were soft noises at the five brothers laid together napping. (Y/N) wouldn't want to change anything in regards with his brothers. They loved him, each in their own way and (Y/N) loved them back.
Nobody said a word as they drifted off, (Y/N) feeling comfortable with his brothers. If they had to nap to spend time together, none of them minded. And besides, they needed all the sleep they could get.
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