#who has done one semester
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another semester BEHIND me… the relief hasn’t fully kicked in, but i’m starting to feel it.
#my dumb ass decided it would be a good idea to take ten credits in eight weeks#it was NOT#BUT (unless one of my professors really hates my final project which is unlikely) i have successfully emerged with all A’s#and i am now officially a sophomore!#(or will be in a couple days when the semester actually ends and the credits kick in)#it’s gonna be SO weird at Christmas with my family#because i functionally started at the same time as my little cousin#who has done one semester#and i’m just gonna roll in like ‘lol what’s up? guess who’s a sophomore now????’#i AM gonna milk that - i need victories#(not against my little cousin - i am SO proud of him… against my Grandpa)#anyway - now it’s time for Crazy Weekend#which consists of a work holiday party a program and two Christmas Bird Counts#it is gonna be a TIME#a good time - hopefully - but a Time nonetheless#and then? i get to? REST??????#nah - we actually have another program#but HEY - could be worse!!#someday i will rest#someday..
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wait i forgot to tell yall the absolute highlight of my day, and probably year, and probably existence because it was genuinely the kindest thing anyone has ever done for me
#i had to act like i was not crying in class because it shook me to my core#this one professor of mine great guy probably the only reason i have not given up on the graphic design program#starts class discussing our projects for the semester#and says both projects are brand new never done before#and one of them was a music project#where we get to choose the artist and create an entire spread of everything for them#lp/ digital campaign/ website/ spotify mockups the whole fucking nine yards#and this is a man WHO DID NOT KNOW WHAT MUSIC PACKAGING WAS OR ENTAILED UNTIL#I ONE DAY WENT ON A RANT ABOUT IT IN OUR FIRST CLASS TOGETHER#and who has asked me multiple times about it since and my amateur concert photos#and i’ve given him shit for cutting a different music project in the past#and this motherfucker looked at me (i’m losing my fucking mind at this point btw like full on#everyone in the class was looking at me after the announcement)#and this motherfucker looks at me ‘you got your music project buddy don’t let me down’#and it just kinda struck me that this clown of a man A) listens to his students and proposes projects he thinks they’ll be passionate about#but B) that he listened to me and i’ve just i’ve never had that things like this are always dismissed#and this motherfucker listened and formulated a whole ass project to help me#like that’s so fucking insane to me#eris: text
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every single day this week has been another variation of surprise shawty! except every surprise has been a nightmare and shawty is so sad
#not one fucking thing has gone right or as planned and i’m so fucking tired i want to scream myself hoarse#i am back in college next week and i am so so exhausted#the one day i wasn’t in the hospital i was at a funeral bc that is what my life has come to . i need to breathe#going to go for a swim tomorrow i think and figure out what i want done before the semester starts on monday#fuck ineed to call the doctor ffs#sorry to anyone who has been talking to me or trying to talk to me this week i have not been present
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not to be. a college student on main or anything but AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaAAAAAAA
#the pain and suffering and agony of someone who really needs to take a nap but 1. already took one today and 2. has a lot of work to do#hahahahahahahahahaaaahhgAaaaaaaa i’m peaking#:)))))#once i’m done with this i think the worst is over for this semester though#i think#ugh everything is so surreal it literally feels like i shouldn’t have any classes the rest of the week#but no finals are next week regular classes are still running this week professors have every right to hold class and not cancel#but. they should just cancel 🥺🥺🥺 for me 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺#fr what new stuff is there to teach us at this point. just give us final projects or exams or w/e to do on our own time#peach rambles
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...
#tfw ur life has been so busy that u forgot that with a new school u have a new email to keep track of#and u forgot to hook it up to ur outlook so now u open it up and see emails from abt a month ago#telling u to do TA orientation stuff. uuuuuh oops#so i guess i have some bullshit to figure out tomorrow. also i should finalize my class sign up staff#stuff* bc when i was doing yhat my brain was on fire. also i should email my new boss. oh god. why didnt i check that email????#i dont even kno if im supposed to b a TA this semester??? i should just email the guy but also i dont wanna roll up like yo#im already damaged goods bc ive suffered a whole year in a state of burnout. also i fucked up my sign up process by not paying attention#but uh hi hello nice to meed u again for the 2nd time in my life. this is definitely not a bad omen for things to come#ugh. why have i done this to myself? i cant even call to try to fix anything until Monday. fuck.#but i mean. i cant b thr only one who's ever done this. so maybe itll b fine? hopefully?#but i wouldn't have this problem if id just fucking looked at my fucking email in the 1st place#i can already feel it. this is where the overlap starts. the overlap between my old lab and my new lab#will it tear me into pieces? perhaps. i have to shift into go mode. i cant b a sad sack anymore#ugh. im usually really good at being on top of stuff like this bc im such an anxious freak but here we r...#unrelated
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HEY HEY HEY HEY I JUST NEED TO THROW THIS OUT THERE TO EVERYONE BECAUSE I'M FEELING GOOD ABOUT MYSELF
I'M NOT AN EDUCATION MAJOR ANYMORE
THE WHOLE REASON THIS ACCOUNT EXISTS IS BECAUSE I USED TO BE SO PASSIONATE ABOUT SCHOOL AND LEARNING AND BEING ALIVE. AND I MISS THAT. I DECIDED I WAS SICK AND TIRED OF FEELING LIKE SHIT. I ACCEPTED THAT I'M NOT GOING TO FEEL CERTAIN NO MATTER WHAT I DO, SO I MAY AS WELL DO SOMETHING THAT I DON'T FUCKING DREAD EVERY DAY.
I don't know what the RIGHT path is, but education sure as hell was not the right path for me, so I decided to say I'm fucking done. It's SUCH a weight off my chest.
#celebration#college#I'm back to my original majors (sociology and spanish) starting next semester.#I'll finish out this semester because I missed the course change deadline by just a few days but then I'm done#I just kept giving myself reasons to stay in education and kept giving myself reasons not to do sociology but you know what#sociology and spanish make me happy. Yes education is a very secure career but it's not worth it to feel like shit every day#I just realized that I absolutely dread going to classes when learning for the sake of learning used to be such a huge part of who I am#sometimes you just have to accept the uncertainty. no one has their shit sorted.
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i love this book, it's so ace attorneycore
#yes that is a bomb he has inside the lining of his jacket. because the mafia wants him to blow up the prosecution's witness. obviously.#and they kidnapped his daughter too. farewell my turnaboutcore as hell.#anyway this whole chapter with him tearing a new one into the graphologist guy AH VALIDATION FOR ME#who had to take that stupid fucking graphology class (why wasnt it an elective i'll never know)#and the fact that he focused on the 'sexual nature of the tail of the letter g' YEAH THATS THE ONLY THING I REMEMBER FROM THAT CLASS#i took no notes all semester thats the only thing i remember everyone was kiddingly looking at their friends' gs and going oohhhh#you naughty naughty bitch fjdjdjdj#anyway that aside this fucking expert witness was a fucking idiot how do you get played like this dude! you werent even here to talk#about graphology you got soooo played even i could have done it better gkfjfjfj#like boo not even extrinsic and intrinsic examination of the handwriting? BOO#anyway yeah this book is so fun it's SO ridiculous lmao#the defense#books
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ykw?
it would be incredibly funny if crushie liked me back too late
especially when i might be starting to like someone else
#isa and the y/n experience#isa go to sleep challenge#whoever is writing my life can pull the worst joke rn /JOKING#i wonder how my life would look like as an actual shoujo manga.#i wonder how my friends would have ranked in character polls#iirc boys over flowers had that love interest poll for mc#i wonder what the results would have looked like for my life#here's crushie; cute. book and film geek. good at math. gamer. passionate abt films and cinema#and then there's squishie; also cute. squishy even. music nerd. rhythm gamer most especially into project sekai. thoughtful and caring#between both of them during my absence this semester though?#squishie's the one who has kept consistent effort in keeping touch with me outside of our triad's discord server#both have said they miss me but squishie's done more about it#he's also shared brainrots with me more#i've always appreciated squishie bestie as one of my besties but he's hittin' different lately especially after his birthday last sept 24..#Things Happened For Sure:tm:#but crushie is also a good person#when i confessed to him upfront he wanted to think about his response because knew the gravity of me saying that to him to his face#i already told him he didn't have to say it back though#i was always prepared to let go anyway#i'm way too good at goodbyes /lyr /JOKE 😂😭#PWEH enough y/nposting in the tags. i'm going to crushie's bday party later LMAAAOOO#...oh my god right his birthday is soon (today's party is an advance celebration)#anyway eepy time nite nite labyu all mwa
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giggling and kicking my feet while i'm lying on my bed like a cliche teenage girl bc bruce's assistant just sent me high-quality recordings of both shows where bruce announced the buddy cole documentary at the rivoli
#first one has paul bellini and kevin mcdonald on stage with him! doesn't mention me by name but i'm just out here like KEVIN!!!!#second one is basically the same as what i already posted but better quality bc that one was just my friend in the audience#and in addition to the higher video quality you can hear scott quietly say some stuff on this version#and it's ridiculous how even tho i'd be confident saying scott and i are friends at this point#(we've talked to each other many times. he clearly likes me. i'm even going to email him later today)#i still watch stuff like this and go oh my god scott thompson knows i exist???#like you think i'd be over it bc i can turn off the part of me that's starstruck and just be a nice mix of casual and professional#but in my heart i'm still like oh my god this time last year i was sitting in this exact same spot in my room#listening to the exact same song (me on my off hours by mouth congress)#and one year ago i would've been like ''ugh i wish these guys could be my queer comedy mentors but that'll never happen''#vs this year i'm like ok gotta go be a nerd on tumblr then send some emails to coordinate my next trip to toronto to work on the buddy doc#and next year? who knows!#i'll have done a bunch of work on the buddy doc by then (idk if it'll be fully done but it'll probably be close)#and i'll be preparing for my final semester of college before i can permanently move to toronto in spring 2025
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Hello how are you it’s been a long time
Hey! Okay-ish, if that makes sense? I have a big trip coming up that I’m excited for (I’ve been dreaming of it for 10 years now, plus I get to see a good friend in person for the first time in 5 years), but my grandma’s health isn’t great right now so I’ve been struggling with that.
And I can’t wait to be done with school. It feels like it’s dragging on forever and I hate group work with every fiber of my being.
How are you?
#asks#answered#hope92100#thanks for reaching out I really appreciate it#but oh god I really can’t wait to be done with school#I have one semester left after this one but it seems like so far away#I already have my RN and I know how to be a nurse but good lord my professors love group work#y’all we already work full time who has time for group projects
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Watching a video of an animation student in other country made me realize how fucking deficient my university is, por la gran puta...
#zagreus rambling#like. my degree is a double one so first half you're supposed to learn animation#the other half videogame development#wanna know why yall never see me do ANYTHING related to actual animation?#we didnt learn shit#the key classes for animations were NOTHING#they were either given by someone who DOES NOT work in animation or has a “similar” work#storyboard? given by a guy who doesnt work in animation#just gave us a wikipedia explanation all semester#animation workshop? one of the fucking few classes done by someone who knoes#only showed us pixar shorts and BTS's of said shorts#then wanted us to come up with our own storyboard and animatics#no explanations as HOW DO THEY FUCKING WORK IN THE ACTUAL INDUSTRY#I dont even wanna talk about stop motion#shit was a disaster#and by younger classmates I'm learning they are having it even worse than me#god Im so pissed#THIS IS THE ONLY UNIVERSITY THAT HOLDS THIS FUCKING DEGREE IN THE COUNTRY YOU WOULD EXPECT THEM TO IDK AT LEAST HAVE SOMETHING FOR US??#LIKE CONFERENXES WITH ANIMATORS AND BETTER EDUCATION OF ANIMATION??#si son de aqui de san salvador y alguna vez han ido a uno de esos eventos que hacen en el Ricaldone que los bichos hasta ponen sus cortos#esos majes de seguro recibieron MEJOR educacion que uno en la universidad en 5 años man#me emputa de plano. me emputa todo#ALSO “Digital Animation” WHY THE FUCK WERE WE LEARNING STOPMOTION
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kind of annoyed at my friend :/
#ok so at the cafe at my school theyre having an event thats basically come play board games#and she texted the discord yesterday and said 'who wants to go to this?' and i said yes! i would!#and so i checked in with her bc its this afternoon like do you still want to go? what time should we go ?#bear in mind that she is the one who INVITED evwryone#and she said she has too much work#and i knoww i shouldnt like judge how much work she has but like she had only one class today.#couldnt she have done more of her work earlier considering that she MADE PLANS?????#and i really wanted to go to it i miss playing board games bc usually the only games i can play at school are. uno & cards against humanity#but im from a family who likes weird games my dad finds on Kickstarter (this is a lie only my dad and i play them. my sister and i refuse)#and i only get to play my weird kickstarter games at home!#not that i think theyll have weird kickstarter games :/ but at least itll be VARIETY!!!#SORRY i dont actually like uno and cards against humanity that much. but i need to play something else#i brought fluxx this semester but no one will play it bc they all wanted to play uno and cah first and by the end of those we were tired#they were done to death by like senior year of high school bc theyre the ONLY games anyone will play!!!!#and its honestly an effort to even laugh at any cah jokes at this point . sorry theyre so rarely funny.#and i feel bad bc i have one friend who laughs really easily and so they crack up and im just sitting there like . a corpse#talkin
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literally thank you dovid katz for putting everything you’ve ever published online
(https://www.dovidkatz.net/dovid/dovid_bibliography.htm -- his bibliography arranged by date here
https://www.dovidkatz.net/ -- and more of his stuff available here)
#i use this stuff sooo often literally god bless you dovid#i really really admire his commitment to collecting things and making them available to all#he's teaching a class in yivo over winter semester about the history of yiddish which has actually already filled up lol#there's also a class on death in the yiddish imagination#salivating at the mouth BUT they're both in english and both $325 and idk if i'm willing to pay $325 for an english class lol#54 and change per session -- i wonder actually if they intentionally made it (almost) a multiple of 18 lol#i think i might just email him and ask him for the bibliography he's going to use#also i DID take a class with him in the summer with the workers circle and he has the affect of...idk a gaon or sth#like he sounds like the type of voice you'd hear on a recording of a historical event#anyway i am finishing my incompletes from last semester so i am once more in the yiddish historical linguistics rabbithole#and i once again want to emphasize that from the very beginning the field of yiddish historical linguistics is a field of interpersonal beef#the moment a thought on the origins of yiddish even crossed one guy's mind the next guy was already furiously typing on his typewriter#but also many of them were really great scholars so a lot of them were like#YOU ARE WRONG AND YOU'RE A BITCH AND I HATE YOU BUT YOUR METHODS ARE GREAT AND THE WORK YOU DID CONTRIBUTED SO MUCH TO THE FIELD#also a lot of great work on yiddish linguistics has been and continues to be done in german#bc that's who's doing work on comparative german(ic) linguistics#which means i might actually have to learn german eventually 😭 instead of what i've been doing which is ctrl+f term [term that i want]#and then running the surrounding paragraphs through google translate
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persona games really love to throw out the most compelling concepts for characters that threaten to violently rip out all of your organs and then trip over themselves because. surely women cannot have meaningful character arcs. please i only want to contemplate the horror of having your mind rewritten and complex sibling relationships
#sumire is so COOL why does atlus hate her and also give her no personality or agency or#>:[ tbh everyone in p5 got done a little (very) dirty by the writing. but GOD she has it the worst.#so much screentime. and nothing ever happens. we learn nothing of note about her pretty much up until the third semester!!!#even her persona awakening is lame!!!! girl!!!#hngnn i WANT to explore. jealousy and pride. and maybe she did hate her sister. i would like that a lot actually.#not a baby “oh she feels bad for being mad sometimes” NO i want her to LOATHE kasumi i want her to boil with rage#i want her to be angry that she dared to sacrifice herself for her#because wasnt she the better sibling?? wasnt she the one who deserved to live?? wouldnt everyone else be happier if she was the one here??#but sumire is still glad its her. because she hates her.#YOU GET WHAT IM SAYING??? SIBLINGS WHEN YOU LOVE WHEN YOU HATE WHEN YOU LOVE WHEN YOU DONT EVER THINK ABOUT THEM (LYING) AHLDSFGLJ#sorry normal again. normal. why did they dangle the shell of what could have been like the Best Character Ever in front of me. why.#we could have had so much...... ughnm . hh
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Thinking about Edward Elric as the Amestrian Military's specialest little unfireable boy
State alchemists can be fired for underperforming. We know this up front from the likes of Shou Tucker. And this makes a ton of sense from the homunculi's standpoint since the state alchemists are sacrifice candidates, and the homunculi would want to cull the weakest candidates and focus only on cultivating the strongest ones who stand the best chance of opening the portal.
........Then there's Edward. Who's already opened the portal.
There's no need to cultivate him. No gamble taken on whether he's good enough to open the portal. He passed the final test already. Graduated 4 semesters early.
And as such, has a free pass to do Absolute Fuck All.
And I'm imagining how funny this is from like an outside perspective.
Some newish state alchemist who'd only ever read up on the stories of Edward Elric, ready and excited to start their career of being paid handsomely with endless freedom to research and travel and do anything they want in the pursuit of science... surprised and confused to find themselves put on probation their first month for things like "ignoring orders." Which is, as best they had thought, a famous Edward Elric pastime.
Roy showing a slight bit of stress about his yearly state alchemist report, and Ed just snorting and rolling his eyes at Roy because every year HE just hastily does his on the train ride over (canon in the manga, a travesty it was left out of the anime) and it gets rubber stamped. Ed not realizing that other alchemists' reports get genuinely scrutinized and torn apart while Ed is free to turn in whatever absolute bullshit he thinks of 36 hours ahead of time. One year his report was about whether alchemy could be done via dance (conclusion: no it can't) and no one cared. Roy WANTS to tell Ed there's some kind of unknown favoritism around Ed making him literally bullet-proof but Roy has no way to phrase this that doesn't sound like he's just in denial and mad at how good Ed's train-reports are.
Guy from the Internal Amestrian Affairs sector who's responsible for auditing other internal military personel for any suspicious activity hitting about 1 million red flags for Edward Elric, issuing a STRONG and URGENT recommendation to suspend the alchemist pending further investigation into things like "literal bunk-buddies with two members of the Xingese royalty (enemy nation)" and "spent $10,000,000 of his stipend on a librarian to make her re-copy (what he seemed to interpret as?) military records in some extremely transparent effort to unearth state secrets (it was a recipe book but he was literally asking her about state secrets)" and "literally has never once obeyed an order, ever, not even once in his career, and is on public record having said 'I do not care about the goals and protections of the Amestrian Military. I am in fact only pursuing my own interests several of which are diametrically opposed to the safety and well-being of the governing body of Amestris'"
The issued recommendation is intercepted before it even reaches its intended desk. President Bradley himself has taken issue with it and denies it before a single set of eyes has seen it. The President's veto stamp is a terrifying hammer, used rarely, and it is now sitting on the auditor's desk.
The auditor sleeps with one eye open from then on out.
#fma#fullmetal alchemist#fullmetal alchemist: brotherhood#fma:b#literally anything about the dynamic between edward and the amestrian government is so so so funny to me#im begging you to come pick up your alchemist he keeps committing treason#Roy: absolute perfect ass-kisser and career-man playing the part 24/7 to disguise his treasonous ambitions and still#not flying under the radar#Edward on his public Twitter: bored. might tear down the Amestrian government for fun.
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Being done with school is going great so far, for example
#i have managed 4 job applications since finishing and i didn't do any during the semester because it was going Badly#and i feel like such a peice of garbage human being because 'applying to jobs until I get one is like The Thing I'm supposed to be doing#but i spend my days trying to feel okay instead and get nothing done til it's late and I'm panicking#i feel pinned and doomed#<- guy who has felt pinned and doomed before and been okay#bleh
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