#they were either given by someone who DOES NOT work in animation or has a “similar” work

[pupuseriazag]

Watching a video of an animation student in other country made me realize how fucking deficient my university is, por la gran puta...

[yamujiburo]

Why I Love Hanamusa

I get this question very frequently but have never given a really in depth, definitive answer. All just kinda implied through my comics and spread out asks. So here's this I guess! Long post ahead:

First, as a Pokémon fan in her mid 20s, I love seeing a ship where the characters are both in their mid/late 20s. Already, they’re much more relatable to me and my current experiences. Most Pokémon ships are between preteens, which can be cute but ultimately don’t interest me as much as they used to when I was a kid myself. Not enough to get super invested in and draw a lot of fanart for anyways haha.

I’ll also start by saying that canon doesn’t always influence whether or not I’ll ship something. I’m much more drawn to potential. Could the characters work together? Do their personalities work together in a nice way? I feel like this so much of fanon is anyways. Especially with queer relationships because they’re rarely depicted in the first place. A lot of the context for these ships is usually up to the fans to piece together or make up in general. And that’s the fun part to me!

Jessie and Delia have only met in the anime a handful of times. Any interaction they’ve had has either been pleasant, or just a typical Team Rocket interaction, with Delia dismissing them/not seeing them as a threat. Already a great jumping off point for me since, truly, they don’t have any actual beef or true, ill feelings towards each other. It’s not TOO out of the realm of possibility for them to potentially fall for each other. “But Jessie chased Delia’s son around trying to steal his Pokémon!” That’s where that dismissive and aloof attitude that Delia has comes into play. I’ll go more into Delia’s whole deal a bit later but I do think this aspect of her personality is a large reason why this ship can work. It’s not that she doesn’t care that Jessie has a bad past, but she can tell that, on the inside, Jessie’s a good person. And, in a scenario where Jessie is trying to become a better person, is forgiving enough to give her a shot. I feel like this is such a solid foundation for a ship. A character who has done wrong but is trying to be better and another character who is willing to help them be better. A classic dynamic!

It’s not just one-sided though; where Jessie is the only one benefitting and learning from the relationship. I believe Delia could get a lot out of being with someone like Jessie. To understand why, I think it’s important to know these characters’ respective backstories.

Jessie is an orphan/foster child who grew up in poverty. Her mother Miyamoto (from The Birth of Mewtwo) was a Team Rocket operative herself, who went on a mission to find Mew. In order to do this, she had to leave Jessie when she was just a toddler. Unfortunately, Miyamoto went MIA on her mission leaving Jessie to more or less fend for herself. Jessie went through life with zero stability, evident by her MANY different careers and constant moving around. It’s implied in the show that she went from foster home to foster home, and later in life tried being an idol, weather girl, florist, wine connoisseur, actress, most notably a nurse and finally a Team Rocket field agent. And even while in Team Rocket, she, James and Meowth were always doing odd jobs to get by. We see that Jessie used to be a sweet kid, and even adult, but the world and her circumstances repeatedly did her dirty, leading her to become the character we know today. Hot tempered, mean, selfish, etc. But despite this, her soft side does still shine through for the people and Pokémon she cares about. She is incredibly loyal.

Delia, unbeknownst to a lot of fans, also had a rough past (see Pocket Monsters: The Animation). Like Jessie, she had a lot of dreams and aspirations like wanting to be a model and even a trainer. But when she was 10, her mother didn’t let her, telling her that she had to stay home and learn to run the family restaurant (she’s an only child). Delia’s father left her and her mother to be a trainer, and never returned. When she was 18, she married Ash’s father and became pregnant shortly after. But right after Ash was born, he also set off to be a Pokémon trainer. And soon after that, her mother passed away, leaving Delia with just the restaurant and baby Ash. This gives so much context to Delia’s attitude in the show. We see that Delia is pained whenever Ash leaves on a journey, but she never shows that pain to anyone. ESPECIALLY Ash. She’s very quick to shoo him off when he shows any sign of wanting to go on another journey and even when he returns home, she acts more excited to see Pikachu than him almost every time. Without all this backstory, it’s easy to just read this as a funny gag, BUT with context, I think it really shows how quickly Delia shuts down and detaches in order to not confront her own feelings. She’s afraid of losing people and getting hurt again.

All that said, I think Jessie and Delia provide each other with EXACTLY what the other needs. 

Aside from becoming rich and famous, Jessie’s biggest aspiration is to get married. In my opinion, this is more so an underlying want for love and stability. There is no one more stable in the show than Delia. Delia’s lived in Pallet her whole life, she’s worked at the same restaurant since she was young and she is always there when Ash comes back home. She has all the love, patience and stability Jessie needs and craves. While forgiving, Delia’s not stupid and can keep Jessie in check. Delia’s also just an angel, which I feel, would make Jessie want to be better. And on top of all this, on more of a surface level, Delia’s a chef and excellent cook. She shows love through cooking and Jessie, who grew up poor, regularly starving and eating snow, happily receives that love. Jessie’s able to live a happy and healthy life with someone like Delia.

Delia, as stated, is very stable. Likely pretty monotonous and solitary, especially living in such a small town like Pallet. This isn’t a bad thing but it’s a little sad when you consider that Delia also had dreams of traveling, being a model and a trainer. She had to give up so many dreams in order to fulfill her duties as a restaurant owner and mother. And even now, when Ash is off on his journey, she feels the need to always be home and be that stable pillar, leaving behind any ambitions she had, thinking it’s too late for her (she’s only 29 btw). But then along comes Jessie, dangerous, passionate, an absolute firecracker. Someone who’s whole life has been about chasing dreams and either, never giving up on them or finding a new dream to chase. Upon learning about Delia’s past aspirations, I could see Jessie pushing her towards them, letting her know that life’s too short and she has nothing to lose from trying. On top of this, Jessie’s also loyal. She, James and Meowth are depicted as doing anything for anyone who gives them food or shows them kindness. Delia does both so there’s no way Jessie would leave her. This fulfills an essential need for Delia, who is afraid of the people in her life leaving her.

There’s so much potential for mutual growth and learning between these two and I adore that. They compliment each other, they help each other and they bring out the best qualities in one another.

I’m not really sure how to end this and I could truly talk about them even more but I don’t want this to be tooooo long haha. OH I could end it with maybe the most funny aspect of this ship that I've brushed over and also what drew me to it in the first place. Jessie. As Ash’s stepmom. THE END.

[demilypyro]

Okay since this doesn't seem to want to go away here's me addressing every single "allegation" that I've heard about. I hope to have at least given a good explanation where the horrible things being said about me came from, and why I consider them either just totally not true or badly misconstrued. Some of my friends have recommended I don't say anything at all, but I've always preferred openness and honesty, so I hope that's appreciated.

I understand that some people will still dislike me even though the things being said about me are not true. That's fine. I don't need everyone to like me, but it's when I'm being consistently harassed and lied about that it interferes with my mental health and ability to work. So I'm gonna try and end things with this.

"She's racist"

From what I can tell this is about one time when I said I keep my interest in anime to myself around new people. I do this because showing you're a Huge Fucking Nerd right off the bat can make a bad impression. I could have said the same thing about Star Trek or comic books, I just happened to be talking about anime in that moment. Someone seems to have misconstrued this as me finding Japanese culture something shameful and lesser than other cultures?... Which I would call a total willful misinterpretation. The rest of this seems to stem just from being Dutch, because the Netherlands is a country that has a problem with xenophobia. This is true, but uhhh I'm mixed myself so I'm pretty well aware of that, and I obviously don't support our infamous "blackface holiday." Just because I live here doesn't mean I agree with everything this country does, be that historically or in the modern day.

"She's friends with racists/misogynists/transphobes"

The only thing I can guess this is about is when I was mutuals with a user called porko-rosso at least 5 years ago and didn't really believe it when people told me they were a bigot. I haven't interacted with this user in over 4 years but people still claim we're like best friends, which was never true in the first place, we just knew a lot of the same people. Most of the resentment from the people who repeatedly spread these rumours about me seems to have started here. So for the record: no, I am not friends with any racists, misogynists or transphobes.

"She thinks she's better than other trans women because she passes better"

This is just not true. This idea seems to pop up just whenever I post about enjoying the benefits of HRT or surgery, but most recently this was misconstrued from a post where I said being trans is about being yourself as much as possible. Since this was in response to someone saying that me trying to pass is "erasing my identity", people thought I meant trying to pass is the same as being good at being trans, which was not what I meant, but some people didn't seem to want to believe me when I clarified. My apologies for the misunderstanding I guess, but that's all it was. So no, I do not hate people who don't pass as well as I do, nor do I think all trans people should be transitioning medically, and I resent the implication.

"She has a secret discord server where she makes fun of pictures of other trans women and calls them slurs"

I had absolutely no clue what this was about when I first heard it. I was sent screenshots that supposedly prove this but all they show is me being rude about someone's appearance one time in january of 2022. I actually thought these were faked because I don't remember this happening and the things said confused me, but one of my friends says she found it was in her server, where she had showed a picture of someone and asked everyone present (mostly other trans women) if they were hot. Apparently I did not think they were hot. So yes, I did insult someone's appearance back in january 2022, but it was an isolated incident. Frankly even I find my remarks in these screenshots distasteful, I don't know what I was on when I wrote that stuff. I'm sorry to that person specifically. What I said has weighed heavily on me and I apologize for it. It's not something I approve of, and don't intend to repeat that mistake. Still, to say it means I hate trans women and I love to make fun of them in my secret discord server and call them slurs is just... a super-villain level of exaggeration. I didn't even know about the word that was named as an example. It's not true.

"She's often rude"

I can't deny this one. Autism gonna autism. I've seen many therapists, doctors, experts, what have you, to try and help me with this, but it seems my particular brand of autistic in combination with the cultural differences between mine and other countries just really often ends with my foot in my mouth when I speak English. I apologize! I have never meant to personally offend anyone. It just keeps happening and I can't stop it from happening.

If after reading all this, you still consider me bad enough to hate my guts, I can't stop you, but I wanted to have at least had my say. I swear that everything in this post is the honest truth as I understand it, and that I've never acted with purposeful malicious intent.

[thewiglesswonder]

You know the TFA Decepticons aren’t an oppressed minority right? DJW even said their Rise Up rhetoric was a jab at how conservatives preach about Protecting Freedoms, and in the Allspark Almanac it’s explained they wanted to colonize other planets and the Autobots objected to that. The Decepticons were exiled for being military fascists.

I'd really, really love to know where I've ever said that on this blog, but since you seem very convinced that I did, let's look at the lore again. I don't feel like trawling the internet for this specific tweet/whatever form this DJW evidence has, so if you have that, I'd love to see it.

This timeline from the Allspark Almanac II pretty clearly states that the entire crux of Cybertronian society as a whole has rested on colonization, very early on in their species' history. Their "Golden Age" 8 billion stellar cycles ago is characterized by expansion that led to the colonization (!!!) of their solar system, further colonization only prevented by isolationism.

The earliest indications of the factional split that mark their history exist within the ruling class Guardians and the Malignus, defined as a "military caste". This implies that Golden Age Cybertron existed as a caste system. Which I would take a guess as not being particularly great.

And when we get to the first (again, quoted from the text here,) "military coup", it's executed by the political ancestors of the Autobots. Not a peep about the Malignus while that was going on.

This faction eventually becomes the Protectobots, and the most notable thing about them is that their leader attempted a Great Purge of "undesirable elements" from their society. I'd be hard pressed to think I'm wrong in thinking that's kinda fucked up. We're not given explicit reasons for this 17 million year war, but wars don't happen without someone to oppose someone else, and we get this in the form of the Destrons.

As for the point about colonization: my point is not that the Decepticon's motivations are not what we see in canon. Not at all. My point is that the Autobots have the same fucking motivation.

The Age of Expansion literally begins when the Autobots take power! It only ends when they butt heads with the Quintessons! Colonization, militarism, and facism, as you put it, are not traits that are unique to Decepticons.

And, according to this timeline and historical reasoning given, there is no mention of either faction's position on further expansion. The formation of the Decepticons is rooted in the divide between labor and military aligned Cybertronians. Both sections are equally responsible for the imperialistic efforts of their Empire/Commonwealth/whatever you want to call it, and make no mistake, this does continue into the present day! From both factions!

Assuming you're referring to my hefty lean towards the Cons in terms of character/exploration interest in the gist of your message, my goal here is not to elevate them to the same Good Guy Status the Autobots have by virtue of being the protagonists. I am fully and completely aware that they are a group of insane zealots that have rallied under a guy who was described by his own VA as an "elegant bully". Rather, I think what you're picking up on is my focus on the fact that the Autobots in Animated have more than their fair share of insidious shit going on.

They retain what is essentially a military dictatorship, with the position of Magnus being only theoretically beholden to the will of the Council and Guilds, as seen when Sentinel was able to fire Fortress Maximus with no approval from the Council and got nothing more than a disapproving sentence from Alpha Trion. We have no word on how their schooling institutions work, but all of it seems heavily centered on their version of the military they've concocted in the absence of warbuilds. And, just in case we forgot about Sentinel's proposed budget...

And that's not even getting into how fucked up Autobot culture is! They're unspeakably xenophobic, throw around propagandistic phrases like they're nothing ("Cogs in the Great Autobot Machine", anyone?), have an incredibly questionable justice system if Wasp is anything to go by, and this only seems to be getting worse at the end of Season 3, if Sentinel's curfews and public service announcements are anything to go by.

I'm not trying to make the Decepticons look better. I'm trying to make the Autobots look worse.

[radskull-69]

Could u make a short one-shot about Bob Velseb x Y/n plz!! Also I love your work!

plot: Bob is your boss who has always sweet on you and does things he wouldn’t normally do for his employees, like defend them against a wild Karen or give them breaks for longer then an hour….blow up your messages every night.

You resisted the urge to even hav your eye twitch in agitation (hell, to not leap over this counter!) as the older woman across from you behind the counter was going off at you, they hadn’t even ordered yet.

something about us murdering animals when we should’ve been selling vegan meat.

honestly, you didn’t get it. If you don’t want meat in your food don’t come to a diner with MEAT!

“I am sick of you monsters butchering up poor defenceless animals! I wanna see your manager!” Her manicured hand slammed down onto the counter, her screeching voice ringing out around the shop and making other customers either give you annoyed glared or sympathetic looks.

yet no one came in to help, you’d give them the finger if you could. But your too much of a pussy to do that, and you value this job.

“You should be ashamed of yourself!” The woman jabs a finger at you, making you lean back as she got more and more hostile. “Do you not care for animals? You disgusting-!”

“What’s all dis’ ruckus about? Heard someone wanted me.” A deep southern voice sounded out behind you, tilting your head up you were met with bob looming over you and casting a large shadow over the now (finally) quiet woman.

Oh great, one of the other employees must of went and got him for you. Awesome.. this is just gonna make matters worse.

“I-I.. yes! I wanted to tell you that your employee here won’t sell me any vegan burgers.” The woman finally fixes her scared look and with a stumble goes back to glaring, though no longer yelling.

“Hmm, well. If ya haven’t notice yet.” Bob leaned forward to rest his arm heavily on the counter, even though you were in-front of him. So now while he bended over to do just that you had to bend over slightly as well as to not get crushed from him, face beer red as you kept your eyes trained to the red counter

“This is a diner, not a front yawn where ya munch of grass.” Despite his usual large grin it was obviously strained and his eyes were wide and full of warning, you shivered. Glad to not be on the other end of the stick of that.

“Well- excuse you-!” Before the woman could even finish her sentence with a look of high offence she suddenly shut up, and it almost looked like the blood drained from her face as if a vampire sucked it out.

You wondered what kind of look Bob must’ve given her to scare her so because with a stutter she was out the door before you could blink.

You stood there in confusion and once again tilted your head up curiously to look at bob’s face but were only met with a much softer look and worry on his features, one of his large hands coming up to your shoulder and turning you to face him better.

”you doin’ alright darlin’? Sorry ya had ta’ deal with that witch longer then ya had ta’, saw her comin’ awfully close to ya though..” his brows furrow, creating a worry line between them as I looks you over. You only let out a nod and a ‘uh huh’ as he did so, painfully aware of the stares some of the customers where giving you at the moment still.

“I’m fine, just a bit spooked is all. But I’ve been working in customer service for years so it’s nothing I can’t handle” you wave off his concerns and gently grabbed the hand that was tugging on the collar of your uniform to check for any unhidden injuries, you didn’t need your boss of all people to accidentally look down your shirt.

“Hmm.. if ya say so, but I think you deserve a break. A thirty min- no, a full hour break. With me, in my office.” Bob nodded to himself and the worry was washed off his face and instead replaced with a look of satisfaction with his arrangement he made up for you.

“Oh no- it’s fine, really! I don’t want to bother-“ you were scooting away from bob with a polite smile but his arm wrapped around your torso and before you could say anything more he was already leading you through the staff door and to his office as he chuckled in earnest

“Nonsense! I made ya some lunch for yer’ break actually an’ I wanna have yer’ opinion on em’. Remember? I sent ya a text about it last night while I was makin’ em. There yer’ face food right?” He tilted his head down to you for affirmation as he shut his door behind him, his arm finally leaving your torso with a slight linger you didn’t notice

you sighed and nodded, he kept you a bit past your bedtime with his texts, like he did almost every night. You didn’t speak up on the matter of your sleep schedule being interrupted and instead sat at one of the two leather chairs infront of his desk facing towards it

“Mhm, thanks again Bob.” You shot him a genuine smile, grateful for the free food. And a added plus of bob being a damn good cook.

“Of course!” He strolled up to you from behind as you sat in the seat, hands setting themselves on your shoulders heavily as he leaned down to your level to chuckle lowly in your ear. The grip on your shoulders tightening just a fraction as you tensed.

“Anythin’ for my favourite lil employee~”

[live-laugh-legolas]

Hello!! Could you do headcanons of the fellowship + Faramir and what art they like/do as a hobby? Like painting, music, knit, and so on. Thank you!!

I was working on this but it got pushed to the back as I try to prioritize asks so this is perfect!

Hobbies of the fellowship (+Faramir)

Aragorn:

-Whittling

-He has a lot of downtime during his time as a ranger

-And he is surrounded by sticks and stuff and was probably already fiddling with a knife

-He often doesn’t take the little animals he makes with him so he either gives them to kids in a village he is near, or just leaves them around for someone to find

-I can also imagine him keeping a guitar with him so he can play around a fire at night during his travels

-A very humble player but also not shy about playing or singing if asked

Legolas:

-Anything physical really

-Climbing, swimming, gymnastics, etc

-He just needs to be moving

-He also has a habit of taking in orphaned or injured animals to nurse them back to health

-Would just have a squirrel in his pocket like Bob Ross

-His father has had to tell him multiple times that bunnies are not allowed on the dinner table

Gimli:

-He plays the flute

-Don’t ask how I know because no one will ever see him playing

-But he does

-He also enjoys jewelry making

-He’s a dwarf who appreciates a pretty piece of metal work or a perfectly shiny jewel

-I have an uncle who will sharpen knives at family gatherings because he doesn’t really want to talk to anyone (and I can’t blame him) but he also loves glitter and stuff, and that’s loosely how I picture Gimli

Boromir:

-I love that you mentioned knitting because that is exactly what I picture this man doing

-He’s not particularly good, but also not bad

-Mostly just makes scarves to relax

-Faramir has so many scarves and hats

-He definitely donates the extras that aren’t given to his brother

-Side note, he cannot crochet despite trying to

Frodo:

-Learning languages

-We know he has learned elvish to an extent and I think that this is a passion of his

-Loves to teach his friends “swears” that are actually compliments

-He also likes making origami

-Nothing too extravagant, just little cranes and stars maybe

-But he makes so many he doesn’t know what to do with them

-He will hide little cranes all around the shire for other hobbits to find

Sam:

-I mean this one is obvious…

-He loves gardening!

-He feels so accomplished when he gets to watch his plants grow, and eat fresh food from the ground

-Potatoes

-I also think he would secretly enjoy writing poetry

-I’m pretty sure Bilbo taught him how to read and write and he makes sure to put it to use so he doesn’t forget how

-He may not be Shakespeare but it is always sweet and from the heart

Merry:

-Riding

-He loves to take his pony around the shire

-He also likes experimenting with cooking and drink making

-It’s not always good, in fact it often isn’t, but it’s the process to him that matters

-If he were in modern days he would love the movie Ratatouille

Pippin:

-He is a very musical hobbit

-When he’s not stuffing his face he’s playing instruments and singing at the Green Dragon

-I also think he would really love making pottery

-The feel of molding the clay on the wheel really quiets his mind which frankly he really needs from time to time

Gandalf:

-Ok hear me out

-Ik this isn’t technically really a hobby but he likes napping

-He wants to find the most peaceful spot and just close his eyes for a little

-He’s a man who is always on the move so being able to take time to relax is always important to him

-(One of my favorite things to do is take a nap on the couch with my cats and I’m insistent that this is a hobby lol)

*Bonus Faramir:

-I think he likes to draw

-He doesn’t really paint, but he likes to sketch with charcoal and pencils

-He carries around a little sketchbook so he can just sit somewhere and draw

-Boromir loves to see his brothers art because he is so proud of his little brother

[animentality]

Tavtash leaves such a sour taste in my mouth. Like they could have had durgetash but they were too set on playing a manic pixie dream girl who is super sweet and lovely except that oh yeah she's fucking a mass murderer and a slaver

You know what's really funny to me?

I wrote a 5000 word rant about disliking Tavtash, and I think Tavs in general ruined the story of Baldur's Gate, but then I deleted it. Because people here just want me to fuel their Durgetash/Gortash thirst by making the funnies and the angsties.

They don't care to read things that challenge their viewpoints, offer a strong negative opinion, or encourage them to think critically.

And I know people wouldn't agree with it. Ultimately, that's why I delete a lot of rants. I come here so people can stroke my ego. I don't generally come here to start fights, because that simply bores me.

So it's just comedic to me that I get this anon, right as I deleted that post.

Because I'm glad someone understands.

Like oh, I'm sorry, you're too "nice" to pick the Dark Urge?

But you have no problem blowing a slaver?

You're like the stereotypical 90s love interests who are "nice girls" but also inexplicably dating a dude who knocks a kid in a wheelchair down the stairs. How the fuck can you be "nice" and compassionate, while the dude you're fucking is a sociopathic felon?

Durgetash works for TWO reasons.

Reason 1: They are both fucking awful, and we all know it. Them torturing and ruining each other is a tragic romance with broken teeth, and we enjoy the low moan of a dying animal, tearing itself apart in distress. They start evil, they end evil. Evil horny bastard sex. Tavtash could never be so demented.

Don't jump into bed with Enver Gortash if you intend to keep your hands clean either.

Reason 2: The Dark Urge was given a second chance, even though they didn't deserve it, and took it. They were given the opportunity to fix their mistakes in game. Gortash doesn't get that. The romance is in the tragedy of, he could never be saved. And you cannot save him, even as you save the rest of the world. You grow, and he stays behind.

The romance is in the longing and the yearning for something that is no longer there. The camaraderie of two lonely people...who were separated, and never ever came back together again. It's also about how you were born evil, but chose redemption, while he was born innocent, but chose damnation. Durgetash operates well on this level because it's always equality of opposites. It is character development, mirrored. And it's fascinating to consider.

And what does Tavtash have going on?

It's someone Gortash just met who has something he wants, who may or may not want to kill him but he's desperate enough to throw his eggs in that particular basket. And on Tav's side, it's weird because it's like omg.

I just met him, and he ruined my life, he put a fucking tadpole in my head, and I'm close to becoming a mindless monster without any free will, something he DIRECTLY did to me and my loved ones -

But I still think he's hot.

Hm. ok. that might be amusing if there wasn't a better precursor for a relationship sitting right there beneath you. rotting in Orin's dungeon.

I won't deny, Durgetash might be absolutely nuts - but it will never be as nuts as Tavtash.

But anyway. You didn't hear that from me.

If anyone asks, I looooove Tavtash. I loooooove Tavs. Especially YOUR Tav.

[alpaca-clouds]

Neurodiversity from an Evolutionary Perspective

I spoke yesterday about how neurodiversity is a bit of Schrödinger's Disability today. We neurodiverse people get all the backlash of being diabled, and all the discrimination, but we rarely get disability benefits of any sort.

But today I want to talk about something else: Evolutionarily speaking most neurodiverse people are not disabled. Our disability stems entirely from the fact that we just do not function in a 9-5 capitalist hellscape.

Just look at it from the perspective that our species actually evolved to gather and hunt - and maybe also cultivate some stuff. (Given how long ago we did that, you could argue that this also shows in our genes.)

See, by now a lot of specialists think, that both autism and ADHD are very underdiagnosed, because even within the field a lot of people are looking for a certain, stereotypic way for the neurodiversity to show. With modern diagnostic criteria there is a good chance that about 5% of all people have ADHD and/or autism. Which is... a lot.

But the thing is that it actually makes a lot of sense. Because evolutionarily it would totally have been an advantage.

Let me talk about something we did at university yesterday. We got a lot of random shapes on a picture and we were supposed to find the T and the X between these shapes. Something I could do within less than a second, while three of my fellow students were unable to find the T (which was rotated) at all. Because my brain processes visual information completely differently.

And this... is evolutionarily an advantage, right? Just imagine being a hunter-gatherer and going through the forest or the savanna. And now you have someone among you, who is able to see a prey animal instantly, because of how they process visual information. Or who realizes them being stalked by a predator. Or them finding fruits and other things.

Neurodiverse people are also very capable of having a very different approach to problem solving. Which again would have a small tribe easier survive. Doubly so with the hyperfocus that neurodiverse people can have. Which totally is an evolutionary advantage for a group to have. Who knows. Maybe the first person to make fire was a neurodiverse person hyperfocusing on this task.

Also, there is the very common believe that people with ADHD specifically were probably very well adapt at hunting for several reasons.

So, yeah. This is so very common, because evolutionarily it was an advantage. From an evolutionary perspective it makes sense that it is so very common.

You have to remember: Modern Homo Sapiens as a species is around 160 000 years old. We settled down sometime between 10 000 and 15 000 years ago. So, just from an evolutionary perspective us having settled down is a very, very new thing. And not to mention, that the modern working culture has been around for not even quite 100 years. Office jobs have been a thing for even less.

And I can tell you: If you leave me out and about outside. I am good. Like, give me some nature observatory duty or something, putting up trail cams, what not. I am good. I can work for 12 hours straight (because hyperfocus). But sit me in the office for just 6 hours, and you will have me crawling up the walls, because that is just not what my brain does.

Ideally I am gonna need a job, that involves a lot of research and going outside. Which is why I hope to either go into Digital Humanities or the Environmental Geoinformatics. Because that is stuff I work well with.

If you gotta put me in an office job, you might as well shoot me right. Because my brain just doed not work like that.

[himejoshiangels]

batgirl 2000 reread bcs I'm crazyy...IM NUTS!!!

her and that damned rose..what does it all MEAN!!! it makes a reappearance l8r...also I missed this dynamic so so bad. me when I'm in a seeing my kids as an extension of myself competition and my opponent is Bruce Wayne

I always forget how fucking potent and tension filled the first arc of this comic is man. it's like, bcs cass can't speak or even have thought bubbles everything's communicated via her actions or the words of the ppl around her. every panel she's in has to be chock-full of emotion and every time she interacted with someone the implications and the ffUCKKKKK‼️

the atmosphere in this damn comic man

I dunno man not to "back in my day!" when it wasn't even my day. but comics these days don't trust the audience even a little. there's always gotta be paragraphs of text having a character explicitly state every detail of their motivation and like not that old comics didn't also do that but at least the words they wrote were pretty like fuck man who are they hiring to write this shit anymorw

this transition is straight out of a movie. I know we say this with literally everything but if ANY comic in the world should get an animated show it has to be this one. top contender. it's formulated like one already, it's episodic w perfect overall themes and bigger plots. even the vibe is perfect, the grainy mtv cartoon thing it has going. every day I pray for a batgirl 2000 cartoon it'd go so crazy jsut adapt the shit straight

batgirl 2000 just keeps hitting you and doesn't let up bcs in the same episode SORRY issue..where cass meets lady Shiva for the first time is also the same issue where babs first begins to address her as Cassandra

^^WHICH IS CRAZY bcs we have to keep in mind that up to this point cass is nameless, she's only been referred to as batgirl. this is one of the first times she goes out as not batgirl too tho, bcs Bruce benched her. it's GAHHHHH that whole thing where vigilantes angst and drama abt titles and legacies and their individual identities is exacerbated so so bad for cass bcs batgirl is the first name she's ever given. like it's all she ever knew and ever was. Cassandra came after and THIS

THIS PANEL RUGHT HERE ohhh my god it makes me crazy. she's only batgirl. she doesn't even have the words to explain it yet. she's only a reflection of the city she's sworn to protect its all she is and at first its lowkey all Bruce let's her be. not to mention. her relationship w babs, I'll speak on them l8r can't do it now I'll explode

a 1:1 animated series man. it's all I can think about so so many iconic moments. I don't kill but I don't lose either is already as cold as cold gets. the way the comic is formatted already fully visualizes as animated in my brain and it's so so fun to watch

LIKE LOOK AT THIS!! cinematic as he'll and it's not even moving..

both cass and Bruce hit the bullseye like....

Cass's perfectionism is such an underrated character trait of hers (in like the greater batfam fandom and more modern comics not here, never here) bcs she literally sacrifices her life about it. she's so self detrimental about how not perfect she is anymore and Bruce's nonsense doesn't help either. man sees himself reflected in a teenage girl once and looses all his damn sense. I'm just, yea we know "mediocre for a life time or perfect for a year" < god that goes hard, but the true tragedy that is cass's inability to see how unnatural and upsetting it is that her mind works the way it does at all, that she can run into bullets head on but complains that she could do it with more skill when she was 6 or whatever like girl...never evr letting myself become desensitized to her trauma, David cain when I get you...

AND ANOTHER THING AND ANOTHER THING!!! KKKKKKKKK!! the sideplots and b plots and background characters in this comic..each of them are offered so much empathy by the narrative and are written purposefully to reflect or foil whatever cass's current conflic is all while feeling like fully fleshed characters even if they only appear for one issue

^^ I have feeling abt these panels but my lawyers are advising me not to speak atvthis ttime

THFUCKINH THE ROSE!!AGAIN!!! so sure this is old news but my running theory is that it definitely ties into cass's sense of self and identity outside of her living weapon status. this whole issue is prime babs v. bruce custody battle material bcs babs wants cass to be able to have a normal life, to be someone outside of batgirl bcs where she is now isn't healthy even a little bit but bruce argues that cass doesn’t need that, all she needs is her devotion to the mission < now we don't have time to unpack all that but in this moment we see her make the choice, dropping the rose. in the very first panel of the whole comic cass does the very same thing, she drops the puzzle (representing her childhood) in favor of violence bcs at the time its all she knows THE PARALLELS HELP HELP MEEE

AND AND THIS NEXT WHOLE PANEL is so evocative of the first few issues where cass couldnt yet put her emotions into words. just atmosphere and silence. BECAUSE she's confused!!! bruce says justice is what she needs that it will make her feel better, feel normal but it doesn't!! she looks over the city and still feels..feeling!!!! she picks the rose back up and extends a hand out to barbara bcs she was right, she not Bruce, she can't sit in a cave all alone all day and feel better (<which arguably doesn't even work for him either)

in the next few issues she meets steph and tim which is soo fun bcs letting cass have friends her age opens up so much for potential dynamics. especially her relationship w steph, not just in a stephcass way but in a narrative foil way, to me at least

next post I'll probably talk abt cass's guilt, self hatred, and need for atonement but we move‼️

[kyliafanfiction]

I saw a bit in a Taylor/Amy fic (the latest chapter of Desperate Times Call for Desperate Pleasures) where Amy compared Taylor to a Necromancer Princess (it fits in Context) and that immediately made me think of a Fantasy AU of Worm. No shards/powers, or at least not in the Worm way, but playing with the characters.

And of course that has me thinking about who everyone would be in such a story idea:

Taylor - necromancer, obviously, given the inspiration. Maybe not a princess, but of some high birth. Danny Hebert is still his canon personality, but as a necromancer. Probably a distant father since the death of Annette. Maybe he's consumed with trying to find ways to restore her to full life or something. Doesn't control bugs, maybe? Or maybe she controls swarms of dead insects in addition to or instead of the usual skeletons and zombies? I'd lean to no bugs, just skeletons and zombies, but YMMV. Keeping her bullied/etc experience may be harder, but if Emma is also a noblewoman, perhaps of higher status (maybe Taylor's low nobility? Or not at all?)

Amy - she's a cleric of some healing-related goddess, presumably? The rest of her family are probably all Knights and Paladins of some sort. Her birth father could be some sort of Bandit King type guy who played up a 'honorable highwayman' schtick (and may actually have been a noble as well as a bandit) akin to the 'code' and 'better than the other villains' thing he had going in canon. Her guilt over not healing all the time probably wouldn't be a thing because there'd be too many other healers, but you could still play with the idea, and she'd still have that separation from her family because she's not a warrior.

Tattletale - no magic, just really smart. Probably a 'Rogue', if we were applying classes to it.

Rachel - Ranger, obviously. Has a wolf animal companion, maybe actually gainfully employed as one of the Royal Huntsmen or someone who prevents poaching on a King's Forest type place. or maybe she's a poacher herself. Probably the latter, but the former could be done well, IMO. Either way, definitely still pretty feral from not spending a lot of time around most people.

Brian - maybe some kind of Paladin of darkness type thing. He could be sworn to Taylor's father as her bodyguard (and Taylor still has her canonical attraction to him).

Alec - I'm honestly not sure. If I were wedging it into D&D classes, some form of Bard, but I wouldn't necessarily want to be bound specifically to classes. Still, he could either have magic specially around manipulation and controlling of the body, or maybe he's like, half-demon, or quarter-demon (and Heartbreaker is either a demon or half-demon) and that's the source of his power. I lean towards the latter.

Aisha - Illusionist? Uses her magic for lots of pranks and stuff, and gets really good at making herself invisible, etc.

New Wave - as I noted, the rest of New Wave would probably be knights/paladins of some sort. Maybe Vicky, Sarah, Crystal and Eric ride griffons or some other flying beast? Vicky on a Pegasus sounds really fitting. Also probably a noble family, but definitely recently ennobled or low nobility, to play into the privileged WASP upper middle class vibe New Wave has in Worm

Lung - could be an actual Dragon, could be a guy who shapeshifts into one, maybe a half-dragon (playing on his half-chinese/half-japanese canon backstory and how he was an outsider in Japan as a result). Warlord or roaming bandit type guy, probably. Oni Lee would be a teleporting assassin who works for him, and Bakuda as an alchemist making explosive compounds and such is there.

Armsmaster - a master Smith and warrior. Already has a Halberd. maybe he does enchanted runes into his weapons or something to make them sharper

Miss Militia - either she's a super skilled archer of some sort, or maybe a magic who specializes in big, flashy attack spells (fireball, etc)

Dragon - Secretly a construct (or disembodied animating spirit?) of some kind that has free will and sentience, but pretends just to be a construct-crafting mage? Might not be able to keep using that name if Dragons are a thing in-setting. Depends.

Kaiser - probably a normal noble in his public face (Max, of the House of Anders), known for his charity towards the poor (only the humans, of course), but secretly the leader of a racist militia-type group that persecutes nonhumans in the Kingdom? Or specific groups of humans. Or both. Probably doesn't have magical powers, but does have some cool enchanted gear he paid a fortune for, and hides just how good he is with a sword, except in his secret persona?

Hookwolf - actual werewolf? Still works for Anders, presumably.

None of these thoughts are necessarily final, really, and I have a few more, but nothing quite formed yet.

Obviously, more might need to worked out, including plot and the particulars of the setting (is Brockton the whole Kingdom? Is Brockton Bay one city? A major focus? Maybe Brockton Bay is a larger region, and some of the various parts of the Bay are distinct cities and towns in the Bay area. I have a setting that involves both Paladins and Necromancers in prominent roles that I might repurpose if I was going to write this... which I still might, but not yet).

Other characters could play all sorts of roles, would have to think more on their equivalent versions. Can't just make everyone some flavor of wizard/warlock/witch/etc, and wouldn't want to be married to specific 'classes', but it's a solid starting point anyway.

What would you all envision 'Fantasy AU' versions of some of the characters? Do you think I'm way off the mark with some of them? Obviously 'Fantasy AU' covers a wide swath of possibilities, so there's a lot of variation. Still, curious as to people's ideas with it.

Obviously, if I wrote it, it would be Taylor/Amy in the long run, (I am nothing if not a predictable, hopeless shipper) maybe involving Taylor (and the AU's version of the Undersiders?) kidnapping Amy at some point, who knows.

[thewritetofreespeech]

Could I request the GoM with an s/o who loves to cook for them everyday?

Bentos, little snacks, sometimes breakfast and dinner if possible.

GoM + Kagami - S/O who cooks for them

Akashi

He loves it.

He has some of the finest chefs in the world preparing his food on a daily basis, but he prefers your cooking.

It might not objectively be better, but it’s from you and from the heart.

Will actively throw his 5 star lunches away if you’ve made him something. Insists on having you prepare his meals for travel games as he doesn’t want anything else in his body.

Aomine

He sort of expects it at this point.

It probably started off with him stealing food from them during lunch. In a flirtatious, but also ‘I’m hungry gimme’ kind of way.

He really liked the way they cooked though, so he started just stealing more.

In the end, it was just easier to make him his own so they could at least having something for lunch of their own.

Kise

Loves it, and gushes over each one every time.

Cute s/o’s making cute bentos is the pinnacle of the aesthetic he’s trying to build for himself.

Takes a dozen pictures of each one and posts them on Instagram with the hastag #bae-nto.

He really does like their cooking their. Their omelet rolls are almost as good as his mom’s.

Kuroko

He doesn’t have a big appetite, but he’ll make an exception for s/o’s bentos.

They actually started making them for him because they were concerned about Kuroko’s nutrition. Despite living this long already, he apparently couldn’t live on convenience store bread and vanilla shakes forever.

It gives him a bit of nostalgia, as his grandmother used to make them for him. He stopped asking as she got older as he didn’t want to burden her, and switched to the quick-fix lunches.

His favorite part is just sitting with s/o and enjoying their lunches together.

Midorima

Surprised by it.

His parents work very long hours (it’s my personal headcanon that they are both doctors, which is why he wants to be one) so he ends up making lunches for him and his sister.

Having someone make a lunch for him is a rare treat at this point. Senna has tried, but given her age and small hands it usually ends up being animal crackers and seaweed chips.

S/O is even cognizant of the color of the day for Oha Asa and tries to curate bentos related to that.

Murasakibara

He’ll eat them but he’s not happy about it.

Like Kuroko, s/o started making lunches for him because they were concerned about his nutrition. He can’t just eat junk food.

But he wants to only eat junk food, so when s/o brings him healthy lunches & snacks he gets moody.

The gesture is appreciated of course, deep down, but couldn’t they add more treats for him as a reward if he eats the stupid salad??

+ Kagami

Surprised, but in a really heart warming kind of way. He hasn’t had anyone make a lunch for him since he was a real little kid.

His dad didn’t cook. He usually ate the lunches provided at school in the US. The day to day cooking was provided either by takeout, microwave quick meals, or their housekeeper/nanny his dad hired. Kagami actually learned to cook so he could have some sort of homecooked meal as he got older.

So the fact that someone would want to cook for him for a change is a real punch in the old doki-doki muscle.

Plus, the way to any man’s heart is through his stomach 😉

[catbountry]

It's been a year since the premiere of Trigun: Stampede. The series, despite the fears of the fans of the '98 anime, actually turned out really good; Yasuhiro Nightow is a big superhero comics nerd, and wanted to have this new anime adaption be an adaption similar to the adaptions of the MCU, back when those movies were consistently enjoyable, and I daresay a bunch of the people watched Trigun probably were either already anime fans, or they were nomad fans who may have been really into the MCU at one point.

I have a lot of thoughts on an American perspective on Vash the Stampede as a character, with a lot of comparisons to American comic book superheroes. And while Trigun wasn't my first anime, I was hooked on it, as someone who grew up around Batman and Spawn's 90's popularity. During my first Otakon in 2001, I must have seen a dozen Vash's and Wolfwoods. I remember the year there was a Wolfwood cosplayer whose Punisher gun was shaped like the Star of David instead of a cross, making him a rabbi. That shit was amazing. The larger point is that I've loved this character for more than half of my entire time being alive, and I haven't seen a lot of discussion of Trigun viewed from a more political lens, and why it resonates so much with Americans (or at least me, who is an American) in particular

Buckle up, kids, this is gonna be long and rambly.

There was a period of time where I watched nearly every single new MCU movie in the theater. It was exciting seeing adaptions of comic books that would have probably never gotten a movie before the success of The Avengers. And I don't think it's a mistake that the most comic book-y of the movies are usually the best; Guardians of the Galaxy and its sequel remain as probably my favorite MCU movies. Nightow was working directly with the studio making a new Trigun anime and reportedly got the crew to watch a bunch of Marvel movies to set the tone for the anime as an adaption; it's why Vash got a completely new redesign that freaked all us old fans the fuck out. Though it appears that once again, Trigun tried and failed to get that massive Japanese audience that most successful anime have. But boy, oh boy, do us westerners fucking love Trigun, especially us Americans. Nightow's love of superhero comics bled into Trigun, and it just so happened that he was incredibly influenced by Spawn, Hellboy and Batman as much as he was influenced by Akira Toriyama and mechanical art. McFarlane Toys released a Vash figure that is McFarlane'd the fuck up. Nightow loves all superhero comics but especially the Blade trilogy.

Just look at this and imagine being 13 years old and seeing this on a screen for the first time with the instrumental hard rock opening.

Also, I wouldn't actually get around to reading Spawn until I was an adult, but you know what? It's pretty good. The writing is definitely weaker than the art, but holy shit, that art goes hard and I still think that shit's cool as fuck.

As stated before, around the early 2000's Trigun was considered peak anime, though it's been more overlooked in recent years in favor of Cowboy Bebop, an anime that has aged gracefully by comparison. But while Bebop has that sort of timeless cool and level of quality that drew the attention of filmmakers like the Wachoski sisters, Trigun has that very specific kind of adolescent sense of coolness that comic book fans get, especially back in the 90's before this sort of thing would be smothered to death by MCU's Joss Whedoning of superheroes. Spawn, Hellboy and Batman are still cool. And Trigun also has a shitton of guns, obviously, given that Vash being an incredibly OP gunslinger in a world where everybody has guns.

And America loves guns.

I think the contrast of Vash's pacifism while still wielding a gun is extremely interesting because it's not something you see very much (I bet if I watched more westerns, I'd have a better idea if this is a trope in them at all). Batman does not use guns and doesn't kill people, which is why there's still discourse around Tim Burton's Batman films to this day still; I don't think Kevin Smith has budged on this. Other more morally grey superheroes will use guns (by this definition I'm counting The Punisher even if he doesn't have any superpowers, unless you count severe PTSD as a superpower). And a lot of them had huge surges in popularity in the 90's around the time Nightow was making Trigun. Vash posed like Batman or Spider-Man looking brooding (like the gif above) happens a lot in the earlier issues even though that's not really his character.

Several years ago, there was an attempt by a conservative thinktank to discredit a bunch of Hollywood actors saying that gun violence in America is a serious issue and contrasted their statements scenes of them shooting guns in movies, but if we're being real here, gunplay in movies can be really fucking cool. Again I invoke The Matrix, or movies by Robert Rodriguez and John Woo. Look at video games, and compare the decline in violent crime that's been happening here since the 70's and 80's, as culture warriors bemoan movies and video games for becoming more violent. Remember when Wayne LaPierre, vice president of the NRA, brought up fucking Splatterhouse as a reason why Sandy Hook happened? Do you know what Splatterhouse looks like?

It looks like this.

You know how these guys constantly say the only way to counter a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun? Usually, the inference is that if the "good guy" with a gun shoots, he's shooting to kill. Deadpool and the Punisher would shoot to kill. But Vash is constantly trying to avoid it. And I remember as a teenager finding that really cool? And the manga and anime don't shy away from how impractical Vash's pacifism is. It's a bit more realistic than Steven Universe's ending, but also Steven Universe was made for children.

I know Avatar: The Last Airbender is often invoked when criticizing Steven Universe's philosophy, but I haven't really seen Vash's similar philosophy criticized in the same way, and I think a lot of that has to do with the presence of Wolfwood, who is the "I think we're gonna have to kill this guy" guy. I'm honestly surprised I haven't seen art of this yet. I may have to get on that. I already drew Vash horrified at the Trolley Problem.

Vash is a character designed with maximum coolness in mind, but also an overpowered being who is capable of killing millions, and in the anime, he somehow destroys July City without killing anyone directly, but the destruction of the city led to a bunch of people dying. He's so deeply committed to not wanting to kill anyone that he's probably killed more people than he would have if he just shot Knives. The best Batman stories acknowledge that Batman's refusal to kill Joker has similarly results in the deaths of people Batman could have prevented if he killed one guy, and this could also apply to Vash's relationship with his brother Knives, who was kind of destined to be a mass murderer with a name like that, let's be real.

Online, we tend to joke about bringing out the guillotines, or justify not feeling an sympathy for billionaires who die in a sub trying to view the Titanic. But if you were given a gun and a real human person begging for their life, what would you actually do? Do you honestly think that you would be the ethical Death Note user?

Vash has guns but he chooses not to kill people; he prefers to not even use them unless he has to, instead opting to run away and look cool doing it somehow.

He really, really doesn't want to kill people. He doesn't become numb to people dying. It hurts him every single time he watches someone get killed. In reality, most of us that aren't sociopaths would be distressed at the thought of killing someone. The only reason armies in real life work is that they become inoculated to the idea of violence and dehumanize the enemy. Vash is no soldier. He is idealistic, he is empathetic, and he sees every human being as a person worthy of life. Batman refuses to use guns, as that's how his parents were killed in front of him. Vash has to use guns in order to protect people from getting killed. He has the ethics of Superman but the tools of a comic book antihero. He's the logical conclusion of an shonen anime protagonist in a world that chews up anyone with that kind of optimism and hope and spits them out. And yet... he still keeps going. He remains committed. He's still cheery, goofy, lovable Vash.

Batman used to kill people, in the earliest comics. With the Comics Code Authority, no superheroes could kill people. In the 80's, comics were getting darker and edgier, taken more seriously. While Alan Moore's Watchmen delved into the moral complexities in a world with superheroes that was similar to ours, Frank Miller was keeping Batman consistent, even as Gotham got darker and uglier.

Batman is a vigilante. The police can be helpful or they can fuck up everything, depending on what's needed for the story. In Batman Year One, there's a scene where Batman crashes a party attended by the elites of Gotham, politicians and mobsters mingling.

Seeing this during the Bush presidency blew my mind. I don't want to get into just how perfectly the members of his administration seemed to resemble a rogue's gallery of sorts with the shared goals of making a lot of money and bombing the shit out of Iraq and Afghanistan. I was extremely anti-war even before the 2000 election as a very opinionated 14 year-old watching, Jon Stewart on The Daily Show and feeling relieved that a grown-up was able to see through all the bullshit; it helps when the guy who's against the war and killing people is funny. I remember writing in my diary at 12 years old after Columbine happened that I wanted to take all of the guns and melt them down in a pot, similarly to that scene in Superman IV where he throws the entire world's nuclear arsenal into the sun. But also that same year I would fall in love with The Matrix... and not long after that, Trigun.

Again, we come back to the idea of someone using a gun, a weapon designed to kill people, and using it in pursuit of the exact opposite. That resonated with me. I myself was very idealistic, and the political climate of my teenage years seemed to do almost everything to stamp that out of me. Things feel just as fraught two decades later, but in slightly different ways. Pacifism is looked down upon, as indicated by the backlash to the ending of Steven Universe, and how one crazy lady called Rebecca Sugar, a Jewish person, a Nazi for writing it that way. But for Steven, things worked out. For Vash? Well, he still has hope somehow, despite everything. I think the fact that he strives to protect human life, even when someone is a complete monster, is admirable in that it cuts to the very basic desire to not see people hurt. But we're also selfish, and scared, and sometimes it's hard to conceive of a solution to a problem that doesn't involve violence. Seeing dead bodies on TV or the internet upsets us, but we're often paralyzed by feeling like we can't do anything, and even if we tried, we'd likely perish in the attempt. We desire revenge, punishment for those who transgress by inflicting violence, and we can rationalize using it against the right targets. Vash the Stampede would have a fucking breakdown dealing with the state-backed violence that's been a part of geopolitics pretty much as long as there have been states and geopolitics. Vash would try and solve the bombings of Gaza with an impassioned plea for both sides to stop fighting before he would somehow wind up making things worse and it would eat away at him inside, no matter how brave a face he puts on as he tries to find some kind of hope in a hopeless situation. And... you know what? I kind of wish more people would be like that. Maybe if there were enough people like that, these sorts of things wouldn't happen in the first place. I wish more people could look at human suffering and feel compelled to try and stop it, not discriminating against one side or the other, trying to understand why people are doing what they do. Seeing anti-war protestors in Tel Aviv brings back memories of protests against the start of the War on Terror, and how hated America was internationally during those years, even when most Americans approved of the war. Michael Moore was booed at the Oscars for condemning George W. Bush and the War on Terror. It's terrifying that those in power want us killing each other and have conditioned us to support it. I want so badly for human beings to come together to just stop the violence, but it feels impossible, like we're destined for failure, like we might somehow make things worse or become worse versions of ourselves full of hatred and ugliness. But we should want to try, even if it's hard or unprofitable or we have no idea how to even do it. Somebody actually dedicating themselves to trying to fight our violent impulses out of love is appealing, and if they're more powerful than use, and can do more... well, I want the biblically accurate angel with every mental illness willing to martyr himself over and over again. But it is more fun when he's Bugs Bunny about it.

[horse-girl-anthy]

essay on NGE (and RGU) under the cut

if I really wanted to oversimplify, I could say that NGE and RGU are essentially the same story. both are about whether it's worth it to go on living, to come to life, or if it's better to die, to stay half-living. they use their respective characters, genres, and symbolic systems in order to investigate this issue.

to approach the shows that way would of course be flattening, since they explore the themes they share in different ways. I find myself in a loop when I try to compare them: first, I'll think of a way they're similar, but the second I write down the commonality, I think of an exception. when I try to write about how they're different, I end up realizing they're the same.

rather than try to parse all of that out, I'd like to talk about what NGE and RGU have given me, respectively. I first watched the shows back to back when I was 16. RGU has occupied a lot of my headspace since I rewatched it in 2020, while NGE was more of a teenage interest. however, NGE is still important to me, because it does things for me that RGU doesn't (just as RGU does things for me that NGE doesn't). the two works compliment each other well, in my opinion.

in the 90s, Ikuhara and Anno were fairly close, and did a string of interviews together to promote Evangelion. the below quote is from an interview with Newtype which was conducted during NGE's production:

Kunihiko Ikuhara: Hmm, what I'm hoping for from Evangelion is that it will be a drama that shows us an embodiment, a concrete way to be happy. --Our Happiness: The Happiness Depicted by "Evangelion"

did Ikuhara get what he wanted out of Evangelion? "a concrete way to be happy"? I don't know. perhaps Ikuhara went on to make RGU because he didn't see what he wanted in Evangelion. RGU--all Ikuhara works--have some kind of relief in them. a moment of revelation, change, reconcilliation, transcendence. Evangelion points in similar directions, but it never truly resolves; it never relents.

but Ikuhara goes on to say:

Kunihiko Ikuhara: There are many young people who think that they will be happy if their current situation changes. They think that because the situation is bad, they can't be happy or do well. That's not true. What makes us happy is our ability to materialize - to give shape to our happiness.

this was something that the final episode of NGE communicated to me quite powerfully when I was a kid. first, the animation style changes, and the show depicts how material reality restrains freedom, but how total freedom would mean total disconnection, the inability to interact with the world. later, Shinji has visions of a sitcom version of Eva, where the story plays out like a bad anime. somehow, this is what leads into the revelation he has at the last moment of the episode. I couldn't have explained it at the time, but this ending worked very well for me. I think I've finally put my finger on why.

the voices of all the people Shinji knows give him a lecture, dispensing advice which could feel insulting or could be hard to take. I was struck by him being told, "you're the only one who can understand yourself, so take care of yourself." like many young people, I had the fantasy that I would meet someone who truly understood me, and that it would somehow free me from all bonds. I wanted to be helped and saved, and here was this show, telling me to my face, "it's actually your responsibility to do that for yourself." I didn't want to believe it, especially not that I would never be understood the way I wanted to be... but I couldn't ignore it either.

there's also a part where Shinji is told that "on rainy days, you feel glum, but on sunny days, you feel happy. but that's only a matter of your perception." this sounds like something a bad therapist would tell you: that you can just willpower your way out of suffering by changing how you look at a situation. but I think it's not quite that.

this goes back to the sitcom sequence. Shinji witnessed a different version of himself, one with normal problems, and he realized that the world is actually indifferent to him, the way that the world is indifferent to whether there's rain or sunshine. the whole show, he's been afraid of indifference, and he's been afraid that he's looked down on by others. he's judged himself, felt like absolute scum. but at the same time that he's forced to realize that he will never receive perfect acceptance and understanding from someone else, he also realizes that indifference is a great gift, because it means whether he is the "rainy" or "sunny" version of Shinji, he is still allowed to exist. he is a part of his world, a mirror of it, and so there's no reason to hate himself for his failings. it's a realization that he has a place in the world, and he's congratulated for it.

but Evangelion didn't stop there. I rejected End of Eva the first time I watched it, in part because I really disliked the live action shots (which I thought were pretentious) but also because the story was so depressing, especially after the relatively uplifting ending of the show.

the film does have moments of transcendence, but they're all of an existential, apocalyptic, and ecstatic-through-suffering kind. Yui tells Shinji, "as long as the sun, moon, and earth exist, everything will be alright," taking the idea that circumstances don't dictate happiness to the extreme. she becomes a monument to humanity, sacrificing herself and allowing the apocalypse in order to do so. is it beautiful, or horrible? are humans so afraid to be annihilated that we annihilate ourselves?

more unsettling, our main characters get what I'd like to call "anti-resolutions." Ritsuko fails to even get revenge on Gendo, betrayed by her mother til the end. Misato may be right that she's learned with every mistake she's made, but she dies the same person she always was, crying out to Kaji for reassurance. our young protagonists all have moments of self-actualization, but they are immediately cancelled, rendered void. Asuka regains her desire to live, only to be killed. Rei makes a choice--a crucial choice--but she hands the final decision over to Shinji, losing her individuality in the process (when she's always longed to be a discrete individual). then Shinji makes what seems to be the right choice, but is not rewarded for it.

I've always found it fascinating that people can watch NGE and come to the conclusion that Third Impact was a good thing and humans should have stayed tang. it's certainly the more peaceful option. everything would just be... over. no more strife caused by the fact that we cannot understand each other, that we cannot cross the divide of being and experience each others' experience.

in a triumphant moment, Shinji decides against living as fluid. he knows his feelings were real, and could only ever be real, in that other world, where people are separate, because not having any boundaries is the same as not existing.

the logic of fiction tells us that, since Shinji "did the right thing," there should be a good outcome as a result. but no, there isn't. when he's back in his body, the world is worse than it's ever been, and only Asuka is by his side. he has the ability to hurt people again. yes he can be caressed, but he can also be scorned, hated--and people can have good reasons to scorn and hate him.

this was an entirely new gift that End of Eva gave me, and it's stuck with me ever since. it was an acknowledgment of suffering that promised no respite or happy ending. if we are not to kill ourselves, we have to face the fact that life may offer no rewards. we may never get what we want, and there will certainly be pain along the way. relationships can fall apart, and we can let ourselves down.

although Ikuhara has said that he created RGU in the hope that it would help kids see an option other than suicide, I would say that NGE has done more for helping me live than RGU, for the reasons I outlined above. it was my sense as a teen that there was no way out of the pit. maybe it's true that people can't understand each other, but through the power of art, I felt understood by NGE. that went a long way.

RGU was something very different; it had a different gift to give, and I had to mature in order to accept it. I don't think RGU offered a "concrete way to be happy" either, but it did make concrete the process of liberation. RGU is about freedom, freedom from just about everything: illusions, dependence, time, the self, you name it. by dramatizing the process by which a community is turned inside out and changed irrevocably, the show proves that liberation is possible. Anthy comes to stand in for the repressed part of all women, and so her revolution is the revolution of womanhood. most affectingly, the show involves the audience in the story using a variety of means. by forcing the audience to see themselves as part of the narrative, getting them to examine their own perceptions and identify with the characters, RGU operates as a direct challenge to the viewer, asking them to revolutionize their own world as soon as possible.

to wrap this up, I see NGE and RGU as stories which I needed at different times in my life. I imagine I'll return to them for years to come, but it makes sense to me that NGE came first. I don't think I could have tried for freedom before I internalized the ideas that NGE offered me. in the long run, RGU has had more impact on my thinking and personality, but NGE paved the way for it, kindly playing the role of John the Baptist for me. it is the gospel for the new century after all.

[yakuzacanons]

hello i saw judgment asks were open and i audibly cheered for joy! could i get some yagami dating headcannons both sfw and nsfw please!! i love this man more than life itself please bless me up!!

YAGAMI TIME MY BELOVED finally let's give it up for my boy ( I am in love with him???)

For a guy who does detective work for a living, Yagami can be laughably dumb and awkward. This is actually super adorable to most people, although he thinks it's super embarassing.

Super good at hiding his hand, if that makes sense. He will not tip you off in any sense with even the slightest hint that he's into you. You will not be able to tell by looking so don't try.

Definitely more of an "actions speak louder than words" guy. If he likes you, then he's going to see you. That's that.

One of the better texters of all of the boys. Understands emojis and responds pretty quickly. Does not understand any memes to save his life. Send him animal pics though, he likes that.

Don't be afraid to blow up his phone! He's a busy boy so he might pass out without remembering to call you, but if you call him he will answer, even if he's very sleepy.

Speaking of sleep, he's either sleeping like a stone or the lightest of lightweights. Depending on whichever kind of sleep he got the night before, he will either be very energetic when he sees you or the softest boy.

Genuinely not picky or choosy about what kind of partner he has. Super open minded and not judgemental at all (despite the game's title). Amazingly easy to talk to, especially with anything you struggle with. Super dependent guy and very supportive.

What Yagami DOES show when he's into someone is an interest in facts. Where are you from? When's your birthday? What's your favorite color? What're you doing today? Man has questions, man needs answers.

A confession is 50/50, he kind of goes with the vibe. If he gets the feeling you'd want him to confess first, he'll go for it. Not super showy but he does have a slight flair for making the moment cute.

Winner of most handsome boyfriend award. Even when you two are going steady, it will take a long as time for you to not get tangled up in how charming he is. Shit, that might never wear off.

He's one of the more experienced boys with dates, less so with long term relationships though. He knows where to go, what to eat, what gifts to get, etc. Don't ask him about decorating an apartment. He don't know shit.

Everyone always assumes that Yagami is not a sexual guy because he's on the quiet side (plus he won't openly flirt like Kaito will with someone he likes). Ironic, given that between the two Yagami is the top (more on that later).

Slightly higher than average sex drive, but working long nights all by himself have given him an ungodly tolerance so if you're busy, he can wait. Normally, he'd just jack off but in a relationship, that energy gets pent up until the next time you guys fuck so... watch out.

Again, Yagami isn't a picky guy and is pretty open minded so if you've got kinks, he's not going to back down. He's seen so much weird shit from work in general that it's super hard to phase him. Maybe like no knife-play though? There IS a limit somewhere.

Noisy fuck. Moans like a motherfucker and sounds damn good while doing so. Typically can go a couple rounds, depends on how tired he is. Also, he loves kissing in pretty much every form.

Two important notes: he looks super angelic when he's sleeping, so if you wake up before him, be sure to take in the view. Second of all: pull. his. hair. Just do it. Trust me. It'll be music to your ears. You're welcome.

[slocumjoe]

Love your work, really encapsulates the various companions.

Love to see how the companions should react to a companion who either collects a bunch of prewar stuff or just gives them a bunch of little goofy gifts all the time.

Romanced or not, either is fine I think this works well for all of the companions.

(because some of us show effection like crows and give our friends and loved ones little stupid things that make us think of them.)

This was one of the first requests I got, which means it's been a while, so thank you for your patience 💕

Anyway more of my X6-88 is a grumpy, prickly little asshole propaganda

Companions and an Old World antiques collector/magpie person

Cait; always owned only what she could have on her person, so someone who just...has shit, seemingly because they found it shiny, is alien. Even more so once they start trying to share. That's when she freaked out. People don't give Cait shit unless they're looking for something in exchange. If ever convinced that no, this is a present with no strings attached, Cait is even more weirded out. Over time, will come to understand that this, like, a peace offering thing. Oh, alright, it's like cats bringing you mice. Got it. Might start returning the favor, so long as they're okay with small-scale stuff she can easily find.

Codsworth; Panic. Feels an obligation to take very good care of whatever they give him. Will make meticulous spaces for the gifts. Ends up basically playing Barbie with it all. Puts it on pillows, always dusts them, carefully arranges them in ways that he thinks would make the items happiest. Gets nervous if other people even look at their trinkets, or the gifts they've given him. It doesn't help that everything is an antique.

Curie; One of the companions who's doing the same thing. She's curious, she wants to see all there is of the world. Sometimes that means hoarding little baubles. Loves round and shiny things. Their collecting doesn't faze her, nor does the gifting; it's how many things they find. Curie has trinkets, but they...they have a treasure trove. Where are they finding this stuff? Legally, she hopes?

Danse; Doesn't mean to, but ends up treating them as, like...a bloodhound for historical items. Go, boy, go find a pre-historic flipphone from the 2000s! Danse himself is a tip-tappy puppy when bygone technology is involved. Getting presents though...different story. Unless it's tech, something for him to use, he's uncomfortable. Not extremely, like in any other situation where someone expresses affection towards him, but enough he recoils and blinks the first time.

Deacon; Whatever they give him is now a prop for the one-man comedy show that is Deacon Railroadagent. A magnifying glass, and he becomes Nick for awhile. A newspaper, he's complaining about election results and how the taxes are gonna go up. A stuffed animal—Oi, 'e's jus'a l'i'le stree' urch'n, mista, spar'a gohl' coin fah suppah? How could you enable him like this. How could you.

Gage; If you're not pawning it, why bother? Gage thinks like Cait, less is better, easier, not a waste of time and space. Sure, sometimes they scrap shit for parts, but not always. Sometimes they just put it around, decor or whatever. If given anything, 98% chance he is turning around and selling it. If he likes them, will slip it into their bag or personal living space. If very close, he'll keep the damn thing, just...don't ask where it is. Somewhere? Wherever it is, he didn't make caps off it. That's good enough, right...?

Hancock; Will keep precise inventory of their collections and point out if they do or don't have something, when they stumble on a potential new item. Has a surprisingly good idea for authenticity, the goods, as it were. You will never get swindled, buying an antique with Hancock. Sixth sense. It's weird. Why do you know what this one baseball pitcher's favored pen for autographs was? Keeps every present he's ever been given, will make a separate pile for the stuff they give him.

MacCready; Soul. Mates. Always trading shit. Always going off on their own for a certain item they know the other would love, only to run into each other at the exact same item. If they share a home, the only thing keeping it from being a thriftstore is the stickers. Mac is a magpie. He's a collector. He likes having things. Used to satisfy this interest with Hancock as a bro's night, but now. It's like watching penguins throw the same shiny rock at each other over and over.

Nick; doesn't mean to, but flirts hard-core. Got a thing for antiques, huh? You know vintage finery when you see it, don't you? Those hands of yours really know how to handle Old World treasures, don't they? Nick. Nick. Please. He doesn't notice. Will need to be told, hey, you sound really horny. Horrified. He's made those jokes to every mechanic that gave him a tune-up. People who had their hands inside him. This includes Danse.

Piper; Just let her read the newspapers they find, and she's a happy camper. Also not a collector kind of person, but a present is a present. Honestly, though, also on the side of "just sell it." Unless it's historically important, especially sentimental, or useful, the extra caps would be more practical. She's never going to say that, hell no, and she'll find them little trinkets to add to their collection, but internally, wonders if it's a coping mechanism or something.

Preston; Is uncapable of having things after Quincy, always paranoid about needing to be on the move again. Feels lingering dread around magpie types, now, privately considers them Chekov's Gun. Now, Preston understands this mostly irrational and pushes it down whenever he gets a little twitchy about it. Will even enjoy talking about their collection, especially if there's historical shit. But there's always a tiny little goblin voice whispering "this poor bastard"

X6-88; Why are you hoarding garbage? Are you making your own scrap yard? Wait, this is all to keep? All of it? Oh. So, why are you hoarding garbage? Just to have? So it is a scrap yard. It's a neverending cascade of increasingly judgemental questioning. Like when children get curious and are unintentionally Satan's Water Torture. Will try to aid them in their collection by giving them things he thinks they'd like, but is...literal garbage. Gets magnificently indignant if they decline. TRASH IS TRASH. WHATS WRONG WITH THIS TRASH?!

This situation would have even the most incompassionate Institute scientists consider that synths could be people with free will. Because they sure as shit didn't make him like this.

[tyrantisterror]

Things I learned during day two of this Medieval Studies Congress - in a fun coincidence given that Wolf Man post of mine that's blowing up, Marie de France's lais Bisclavret is the primary subject of most of these:

So, as if the universe heard my desire for more evidence for the distinction between Garwolfs and Bisclavrets, one of the speakers actually articulated how they're distinct in Bisclavret specifically. In the introduction of the lais, Marie de France says to her audience, "You may have heard of the bisclavret, which the Normans call the garwolf," suggesting at firs the two are linked. However, as she goes on to briefly describe the more stereotypical malevolent werewolves, when she does so she ONLY calls them garwolves, while the rest of poem, which details a far more reluctant and benevolent werewolf, exclusively uses bisclavret. This is something that the English translation of the poem I have in my collection does not make clear, so I'm pretty thankful for it.

More importantly, the words themselves have different meanings when you analyze their parts. Bisclavret is a combination of Bleiz, which means wolf, and Claffet, which means illness, which makes Bleizclaffet/bisclavret mean "wolf sickness," which is by far a more fun way to refer to werewolfism than lycanthropy. Garwolf, on the other hand, is rooted in the word lupus (made more obvious in its French spelling of "gaurauf," which is close to "garou," as in "loup garou," another term for werwolves), which means wolf but ALSO is itself derived from a word that means madness in both senses (anger and insanity) and has connotations with rabidity. OR, TO PUT IT MORE SUCCINCTLY, bisclavret = person with wolf sickness, garwolf = man who becomes a violent and unhinged wolf.

In Bisclavret, the most accurate translation of the French grammar of the poem when the knight with wolf sickness explains his condition to his wife is "Lady, I become bisclavret." This explicitly frames his condition as an affliction rather than a purposeful and controlled transformation, further establishing that the werewolf of this lais is very different than the garwolfs Marie's audience would be more familiar with.

Bisclavret is a Breton word for werewolf, Garwolf is a Norman word

The word "berserker" may have some connections to the way Marie's werewolf transformations work, i.e. clothes being key to them. "Serker" means, roughly, "shirt," while "Ber" has two equally likely meanings: both bear as in the animal, and bare as in, well, lacking clothes. Thus Berserker can mean either "Bear Shirt" or "No Shirt," which in turn means berserkers either acted savage because they were wearing bear skins to act like bears, or were doing so because they were fighting buckass nude. The bisclavret, of course, transforms by slipping out of his human clothes and getting buckass nude, and transforms back only when he can slip into his human clothes again (a Manserker if you will).

The Saga of the Volsungs contains a passage where some guys find a bunch of wolfskins which, when they wear them, 1. won't come off right away and 2. make the guys act like vicious, flesh-hungry wolves against their will, which is fucking terrifying and absolutely something I'm going to use

Marie de France's version of Bisclavret is the only take on the story where the wife's nose is bitten off by the werewolf and all of her female descendants inherit noseless faces as a result - the other takes on the story by different poets go for different punishments. This is notable because of the connotations that removing someone's nose had as a punishment in the middle ages - namely, it was specifically a punishment reserved for women, only being used on men when the person punishing them wanted to emasculate them specifically. The reason this was a gendered punishment was tied to the meaning behind removing the nose specifically - it was to mark the woman as either an adulterer or a prostitute, and specifically to make her undesirable to men thereafter. It was sometimes self-inflicted by women, particularly nuns and other women of faith, as a way to keep men from desiring them sexually. So the werewolf's choice of punishment for his wife in Marie's version is pretty damn apt.

Funny coincidence re: Wizard School Mysteries: though Marie de France hailed from France and wrote all her poetry in French (well, Middle French, but still), she actually wrote those poems while living in Wales, which might be why so many of them adaptations of British folklore. I say this is funny because Margot d'Francane in WSM, whose name is partially derived from Marie de France, falls in love with James Chaucer, whose home kingdom, Galfridius, is specifically based on the parts of British folklore that intersect with Celtic mythology, which is primarily the domain of Welsh folklore specifically. So the wizard I named (in part) after Marie de France is in love with the wizard whose homeland is based on Welsh folklore, and Marie de France wrote a lot about Welsh folklore because she spent a good chunk of her life in Wales. Just funny how that accidentally lined up is all.

A Morturium is a big ass medieval building used to house a shitload of corpses, like a Super Crypt.