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#sorry to anyone who has been talking to me or trying to talk to me this week i have not been present
citrustan · 1 day
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dating girl (jjk)
pairing: jungkook x reader
summary: you try to convince yourself that you're really okay with 'casually dating' your crush.
genre: college au, fwb kinda thing but more than friends ygm? angst!
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"Are they allowed to cancel an entire day at college? That can't be good for anyone..." Your mother ponders out loud as you walk around the city hand-in-hand.
"There's not much you can do if someone decides to paint over every projector lens on campus." You nod.
"Lucky for me, I get to spend time with my little baby," she nuzzles her nose into your hair, squeezing you in a side-hug, "Still can't believe we have to schedule our hangouts now."
"Yeah, there's that..." You smile half-heartedly.
You stop near a flower stall, taking in the hustle and bustle of the city. It's especially crowded because of your university abruptly cancelling a bunch of classes.
After your day had freed up unexpectedly, you had invited your sorta but not really boyfriend, Jungkook, to go cafe hopping to find where all the good teas are because you knew he'd bee available. But he never responded.
So your mood has been a bit damp all day.
You had just stepped out of this store that sold handmade sweaters and yarn balls. Not even a good shopping spree could lift your spirits.
What definately doesn't help is randomly seeing said sorta but not really boyfriend who didn't respond to your texts out and about with some leggy blonde girl.
You've never seen her around.
Not that you know every single person on campus, but if they've crossed Jungkook's path, you know them.
They're dining together al fresco, at one of the cafes you had literally listed in your text to Jungkook.
Talk about a slap in your face.
For a second, you think she might just be his sister or something.
That thought bubble is quickly shot at with a razor sharp arrow when you see him kiss her knuckles.
Your eyes involuntary darken, and your mouth forms a pout. The kind one has when they're trying to hold back a cry or a sob.
All the while, your mother had talked about your grandparents' separation, the local diner having caught fire, and matching mother and daughter shoes she had bought for your birthday.
You were listening passively so you didn't quite catch everything.
"You're still seeing him, aren't you?" She tilted her head in confusion.
When your mother notices the look on your face, she frowns, following the line of your vision.
At spotting Jungkook and mystery girl, she gasps angrily, "Oh, no, he sucks." She turns back to you, "Honey, I'm so sorry."
"No, mom, this is normal," you smile weakly, "And it's okay."
"Yes." You nod, "I am."
"But then he's there," she points at the pair with her chin, "seeing her. How's that okay?"
"It just is, mom! Really," you attempt to convince your mother (and yourself) that you were 100% fine with witnessing Jungkook out with other women. "We're keeping things casual. Very... casual."
"And that's a mutual decision?" She confirms.
"We both agreed." You concur.
Your mother's still unsure about your choices. "Well. Okay then."
You glance at Jungkook and mystery girl one last time.
The picture isn't pretty. He's leaning into her ear and has his large hand placed over her bare thigh as she caressed his arm with her much smaller hand, thoroughly enjoying his attention.
Your mother watches your expression go stiff, "So, how does this work?"
Snapping you out of your daze, she pushes a few strands of hair away from your eyes.
When you frown at her she sighs, "Sorry..."
"Oh. Um..." You exhale, "Well, we see each other and we see other people, and that's that. We're cas-" - "Yeah, casual, I heard." Your mother interrupts your blabber.
"It's ok." You look down at your feet, kicking a few stray pebbles out of the way.
"I just--- I thought you guys were sleeping together." She blurts.
"Mom!" You exclaim, looking around to see if anyone had heard her, "It's not that big of a deal. I want this too. And I need to learn to date too."
Again, you try to ease your mind about your decision.
You lightly cringe and look around, "Uh... Nobody yet. But this guy from one of my extras--- his name's Hoseok but we call him Hobi, or Hoba, depending on how close you are to him--- anyway, he asked me out to a halloween theme party next week."
"So who else are you dating?" She asks pointedly.
This is suddenly getting very exhausting.
Your mother gives you a knowing look, deciding to play along anyway, "Oh! You've never mentioned him before."
"Mhm. Because it's new." You hunch your shoulders nervously.
The party was hosted by the student body to raise funds for, you don't know, collegiate stuff.
You had imagined going with Jungkook, with matching Dentist and Tooth Fairy couple costumes. But he hadn't asked you yet and you definitely weren't going to bring it up first.
Maybe you can do the look with Hoseok instead.
It's less than a week away, so you're not expecting anything from him either. He probably already has another date lined up.
You wonder if it's the blonde he's with now.
"So, are you gonna do it?"
"Do what?" Was she in your head?
"Go with Hobi or Hoba." She makes air quotations for 'Hobi or Hoba.'
"Oh, yeah. Yep. Definitely." Suddenly remembering, you add, "Oh and can you make me my costume? I want to be the Tooth Fairy?" You softly ask her, knowing it's a little last minute, but also knowing she wouldn't deny you.
"Why of course! Does... Hobi need a costume too?" She asks carefully.
"Oh, no. Probably not." Well, you don't know. You don't know if his offer even stands now and you might end up not going at all.
Your mother rubs your shoulder, "Ask him and let me know, 'kay?"
You force out an uncomfortable smile and nod, "Thanks."
Although your mother's not convinced, she decides to drop the topic all together.
"Well, that's good," she smiles down at you warmly, "Do you want to get that sweater exchanged?"
It was vague, but you appreciated her attempt either way.
"Mhm. Back to the store we go." You narrate with an airy laugh.
Your mother was in the lead, already making her way to the store you had just walked out of.
Once again, your gaze falls on Jungkook and his date, and to your surprise he was staring right back at you.
You want to give him a little smile. To show him you're unbothered. But you couldn't seem to force one out this time.
So you settle with giving him a small wave, which he returns, mirroring your expression.
His date follows his line of sight and spots you too, giving you a tight smile. It's not passive aggressive, just... decent. Not polite either. But why should she be?
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Jungkook blinks at you as you hurriedly leave trying to keep up with your mother.
Maybe you should focus on Hoseok for now.
note: nobody asked for this but i was feeling a little silly :p needed some angsty ouchie with the possibility of a favourable conclusion so i indulged!
hey bonus points if you can tell what inspired this! and if you read all this lmk what you think regardless :D
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pedroscurls · 3 days
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welcome to broadway (one-shot)
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summary: it's the anniversary of oklahoma! and with it being your first broadway show, hugh takes you under his wing to show you the ropes. along the way, you realize that you've developed feelings for him. pairing: hugh jackman x fem!reader word count: 5.4k warnings: dry humping, suggestive smut (sorry - didn't go explicit in this one!), light dirty talk (this also isn't proofread, so apologies for any typos!!!) a/n: to the anon and @sir-thisisadndserver who both requested a story about broadway, i hope you both enjoyed this!!! (ugh, i wish i could watch the music man in good quality bc he just looks so good in it. but also, hugh in oklahoma! has done things to me... my god, his voice, the curls, just everything.) i mean no disrespect to hugh jackman! this is purely fictional.
THE TABLE READ
You can’t believe it. Lead role of Oklahoma for their anniversary showing. Twenty five years later and while mostly everyone came back except the role of Laurey, you were the only odd one out. You knew what this play entailed, knew exactly how it would end. You also knew that you’d be playing alongside Hugh Jackman, who was reprising his role as Curly. 
You’re excited, yet nervous. Hugh Jackman not only was an amazing movie and television actor, but you’d be lying if you said you didn’t watch most (if not all) of his shows on Broadway. His sheer talent truly captivated, yet intimidated you. You don’t know how you will be able to act “normal” around him. He isn’t just talented, but he’s also incredibly attractive. Anyone with eyes would be able to see that. 
You’re the first one seated at the table and notice Hugh is set to sit next to you. You keep your eyes focused on the pages in front of you, trying to calm your nerves and get yourself ready to be in character. You can hear people come in, excitement and laughter filtering the room. You take a deep breath and stand up to introduce yourself. You’re taken aback by how welcoming everyone is and it puts you at ease, your nerves slowly beginning to die down. Everyone’s excitement is infectious, making you feel immensely thankful to be part of this cast. 
Your back is turned to the door, talking to one of the cast members that you don’t realize Hugh Jackman has finally arrived. He’s greeting everyone with a large grin and waves and you don’t notice. Not until you feel a soft touch in the middle of your back. Slowly, you turn around and look up, eyes slightly going wide as you stare up at him. 
He’s staring down at you with such a large smile that it literally makes you feel weak in the knees. Yeah, you don’t know how you’re going to get through this play without fawning over him, especially since your character – Laurey – tries to hide her feelings for Curly for the majority of the play. 
“Hello there,” he says softly, hand extending out for you to take. “I don’t think we’ve gotten the chance to meet yet. I’m Hugh.”
You bite your lower lip and extend your own hand, gently sliding it into his and shaking it slowly. “Hi,” you smile shyly and tell him your name. “It’s an honor to share the stage with you. I’ve been a huge fan.” 
Hugh chuckles, his hand soft and light with yours. He releases your hand and keeps his eyes solely focused on you. “I’m a huge fan as well,” he admits. “I’m glad you get to be my Laurey.” 
My Laurey. You feel your heart rate beat ten times faster, heat rising in your cheeks. “And you, my Curly.” 
He lets out a quiet chuckle, hands moving to his pockets. Hugh finds your energy and presence very calming and despite this being your first ever time on Broadway, he has to commend you for being professional. Though, he can see the excitement that flickers in your eyes. He knows that look, has even donned that same look every time he got on stage. “So, I hear this is your first time?” 
“On Broadway, yeah. Do I seem too nervous?” you laugh, biting your lower lip. “Because if I do, it’s because I am. I’m trying to keep it cool, but to be in a room with all of you? I just can’t believe it. I don’t want to mess up.” 
Hugh’s eyes softened. “Eh, we’re just a group of people who love to perform, including you. We’re all gonna make mistakes along the way, even on opening night, but as long as you’re having fun, that’s all that matters.”
You’ve heard stories of Hugh – how he puts people at ease, looks out for everyone in the cast and crew, and right now, you’re experiencing it firsthand. You suddenly feel your nerves disappear under his gaze and for once since finding out that you’d be playing the lead role of Laurey, you feel immense excitement. You’ve never been one to be shy on stage, but knowing that you’d be the new person in this cast instilled anxiety in you. They’ve done this before. They’ve played these same roles. And ultimately, you didn’t want to disappoint any of them.
“Thank you,” you finally reply. “I didn’t realize I needed to hear that.” 
“Well, if you never need more reassurance, I’m your man.” he winks. 
The theater director calls everyone’s attention, making a short speech at how it’s great to be back and how amazing of a show you were all going to have. You look around the room, seeing the smiles on everyone’s faces before you finally look up at Hugh. You’re surprised because he’s already looking down at you, giving you a reassuring nod as you feel his hand brush against yours. 
The subtle action grounds you, settles the nerves that begin to build in the pit of your stomach. You feel a sudden calmness wash over you as you take a deep breath, pulling your gaze away from him when you hear your name being called. 
“And we have our Laurey,” your theater director says, everyone clapping and cheering for you. “Welcome,” he says with a grin. “We’re lucky to have you.” 
You smile in his direction, nodding at everyone else in the room. “Glad to be part of this amazing cast,” you reply, everyone continuing to clap before it begins to slow down. 
“And our Curly,” the theater director continues, nodding towards the man standing next to you. “We’re all so excited that you’re here to reprise your role. It’s gonna be a great show.”
Once the theater director finishes his speech, everyone in the room takes their respective seats. Hugh pulls out your chair for you and you smile up at him, sitting down as he pushes it in for you. 
“Thank you,” you tell him.
“Anytime,” he winks. 
Throughout the table read, you finally feel at ease, comfortable in your element as you change your accent to reflect your character’s. Hugh changes his own and how lucky of you to get a front seat of his skill and talent. He turns to you, saying his lines at the beginning of the play. “On'y she talked so mean to me a while back, Aunt Eller, I'm a good mind not to take her.”
He’s staring at you with a charming smile, leaning back against his seat with his eyes staring into yours. 
You then say your line, rolling your eyes with your arms crossed over your chest. “Ain't said I was goin'!” 
Hugh then says his line almost immediately, “Ain't ast you!”
There’s a silence that engulfs the entire room as you two stare at each other. He’s still staring at you with a big grin and you with a frown on your face and eyes narrowed. You’re surprised at how much chemistry you already have with him, how easy it is to slip into the role of Laurey and exchange lines with him without any issue. 
As the table read continues, you can’t help but take notice of Hugh’s presence next to you. The scene where you kiss approaches and you know that it isn’t going to happen here, today, but to know that you will eventually have to kiss him makes you nervous, but also very excited. 
By the time the table read ends, a few hours have passed and everyone claps. The theater director dismisses all of you, saying that rehearsals will begin next week. You begin to pack your things before you feel Hugh gently reach a hand out to rest over your forearm. 
“You did great,” he says. “And to think you were nervous?” 
“I was,” you laugh quietly. “But I guess you helped ease my nerves.”
“I did, huh?” he smiles proudly. “Well, I suppose I should say you’re welcome.” 
You shake your head, standing up from the table and seeing him follow suit. “I was wondering–”
“Do you think we should–” 
You both say simultaneously, both letting out a quiet laugh. “You first,” you tell him, gazing up at him. 
Hugh smiles, bringing a hand to rub the back of his neck nervously. “Would you be okay with exchanging numbers? We can go over lines sometime when we’re not in rehearsal to get more practice in.”
You’re trying to contain your excitement, trying to remain calm and collected, so you give him a nod and then reach for your phone. “I was thinking the same thing. Here,” you hand him your phone and see him give you his. “Maybe we can meet up for coffee later this week?” 
Hugh smiles, typing in his number into your phone. “That’d be great. I know a perfect place.” 
You smile to yourself and type in your number before handing his phone back to him and taking your phone from him. “Perfect,” you respond, putting your phone back into your bag. “And if I get nervous at all–”
“Feel free to text me. Or call me.” Hugh finishes for you. “Like I said, I’m your man.” 
“Thanks, Curly,” you grin, changing your accent to reflect Laurey. “That’s mighty kind’a you.” 
Hugh chuckles, his eyes twinkling in the light as he smiles down at you. “Anythin’ for ya, Laurey.” 
REHEARSALS
The rehearsals have become more frequent as the date of opening night looms closer. You and Hugh have spent so much time together outside of rehearsals, either you coming by to his place or him coming to yours. Your relationship with him has blossomed in the span of a few months, feeling much more comfortable and confident around him. The more time you spend with him, the more you find yourself catching feelings for him. You wonder if it’s because of the nature of the role you’re playing, being the love interest of his and the fact that you both have rehearsed the kiss and dances multiple times. 
Though, you can’t help but notice the frequent texts and calls from him that have nothing to do with the play, or the way he lingers around you, some part of him always needing to touch you – on your lower back, between your shoulder blades, your hand. It all seems innocent enough, but with each touch, with each lingering gaze, you feel more and more attracted to the possibility that maybe the feelings are mutual.
Today, it’s only you and Hugh in rehearsals, practicing the dance in the dream sequence. You’ve both gone over the dance plenty of times today, both drenched in sweat. You take a short break, sitting down on the floor as your back rests against the wall. You take a long swig of water before Hugh takes a seat next to you, his side flush against yours. 
“Hey you,” he says, smiling in your direction. “You really know how to push me,” Hugh chuckles. “And I thought I was the hardest worker. You definitely make me look like I’m not doing enough,” he teases. 
You roll your eyes, gently nudging him with your shoulder. “Oh please, I’m only pushing you because you’re pushing me.” 
“What do you say?” Hugh asks. “One more rehearsal and we call it a night? Grab a bite to eat at my place?” 
“That sounds amazing,” you sigh in relief. “I’d have kept going if you hadn’t said anything.” 
Hugh chuckles, moving an arm around your shoulders as you lean into him. “You know, you can tell me to slow down. I don’t want you to overwork yourself.”
“I know,” you reply. “I just wanna prove to you and everyone else that I’m meant to be here.”
Hugh tilts his head. “You are meant to be here. You’ve got a lot of talent,” he says your name, eyes gazing into yours. “And this is just the beginning for you.” 
“Yeah, we’ll see after opening night,” you chuckle. 
“Not only are you talented,” Hugh says. “But you also love being on stage. Everyone can see it, can feel it. The audience will too. Now, get off your ass and let’s finish this dance.” He smiles, standing up and reaching out for you. 
You chuckle, taking his hands and standing up with his help. Your hands immediately dart out to rest on his shoulders, bodies flush against each other as your nose brushes against his. 
“Thank you,” you whisper. “For always reassuring me. I’m sure it’s exhausting.”
Hugh’s eyes never leave yours as one hand moves to rest on your lower back and the other takes your hand in his. “Not exhausting at all, baby,” he replies, his breath fanning over your lips. 
You clear your throat at the pet name, biting your lower lip as the music begins to play. You take a deep breath, trying to snap out of the trance that he put you in to focus on the dance sequence. Your gaze never leaves his as you both move across the dance floor. It was that specific moment where you were sure that he felt the same way. 
After rehearsals, you drive to Hugh’s place and see him step out of his car with a box of pizza. He leads you inside and walks into the kitchen, sitting at the table. You walk over to him and sit next to him, inhaling the aroma of food once he opens the box. 
“God, I feel like I can eat this whole thing,” you chuckle, taking a slice of pizza and lifting it to your lips. You’ve always felt comfortable around Hugh and you have to wonder if it’s because of him, how calm and grounded he makes you feel. You’re continuing to eat, eyes falling shut as you sway your body in the seat, just happy to be eating something. 
Hugh watches you with a loving gaze, eyes scanning your face as he stares at you. He certainly didn’t expect you to come into his life the way you did. It’s no secret that he gets along with everyone and has chemistry with every leading lady in his roles, but you… You’re a completely different story. He finds your passion to perform refreshing and your talent invigorating. Not only are you professional, but he appreciates your ability to put your all into each performance, even though it’s only rehearsal. It gets him excited to know that come opening night, everyone will know just how talented you are. 
He’s taken out of his thoughts when he sees you open your eyes, looking at him with a furrowed brow. 
“What? Why are you staring at me like that?” you ask.
Hugh smiles, eyes lowering to your lips as he sees pizza sauce at the corner of your lips. He also loves the fact that you’re not shy around him. He reaches up and wipes the pizza sauce from your lips with the pad of your thumb, staring into your eyes. “You’re a messy eater when you’re hungry.” 
The heat in your cheeks rises once again as you set the pizza slice down to grab a napkin, wiping your mouth. “You should have fed me during our break earlier.” 
Hugh chuckles, nodding in agreement. “Fair enough.” He doesn’t break the gaze, bringing the pad of his thumb to his lips and licking the pizza sauce from it. He sees your eyes dip down to his lips, hearing you quietly clear your throat as you bite your lower lip. 
“You’re cute, you know that?” Hugh blurts out, head tilting as he stares into your eyes. 
You roll your eyes and gently reach out to shove his shoulder. “Yeah right.”
Hugh chuckles, leaning forward in your space. “You are,” he whispers. “And there’s just something about you. I can’t put my finger on it…”
“Hmm…” you say quietly, eyes continuously darting to his lips. “Hugh…”
“Yeah, baby?” he says lowly. 
“Is this–” you whisper. “Is this appropriate?” 
Hugh then leans back, shrugging a shoulder. “Probably not,” he admits. “But I can’t be the only one who feels something between us…”
You look up at him, wanting to reach out for him, to pull him back closer, but you don’t. You’ve wanted him for months now, wanted this moment to happen for so long, but you couldn’t. You just didn’t know how things would change if you were both to cross that boundary… Even though you’ve both probably crossed so many lines already. 
“You aren’t,” you admit. “I want this just as badly as you, but–”
“Not yet,” he finishes for you. “After the play.”
You nod. “I just don’t know what’d happen if we do this while we’re still in production… I’ve waited for a few months, another few won’t hurt, right?”
Hugh bites his lower lip and shrugs. “Might hurt me,” he teases. “I mean, we’ve kissed already as Curly and Laurey. But I’d love to just kiss you as… As me.” 
“A kiss wouldn’t hurt,” you say quietly, slowly leaning into him. “But that’s all we can do.” 
Hugh nods and stands up from the chair to pull you up into him. The lights from the city reflect off his large windows as his hand rests on your lower back and the other on your cheek. Slowly, he leans in and brushes the tip of his nose against yours. 
“If we do this,” he whispers lowly. “There’s no going back.” 
“Fine with me,” you answer. “Now kiss me already.” 
Hugh grins and then presses his lips against yours, fingertips resting on the back of your neck. You’ve both kissed so many times already, but this time feels so much more different. Your lips move against his own, hands moving to grip his arms. Hugh walks you back into his window, feeling the glass press against your back as his hand moves from your lower back to your hip. Your lips part for him and he slides his tongue past your lips, hearing you whimper as a result. 
The kiss deepens as tongues get involved, lips moving with more urgency against one another. You’re about to bring your leg up to hook around his hip, but you stop yourself, moving your hands to his chest and slowly pulling him away. Breathless and panting. 
Hugh rests his forehead against yours, eyes remaining shut. “I’d say that was a great real first kiss,” he laughs quietly. 
“Waiting for a few more months might prove to be tough,” you admit, moving your hands into his hair and tangling your fingers into his locks. 
Hugh chuckles and pecks your lips softly, pulling back to look down at you. “Maybe we don’t go the full distance… yet.” 
“What do you have in mind?” you ask, biting your lower lip as you stare up at him with desire filled in your orbs. 
“Come on.” Hugh takes your hand and leads you to his couch, sitting down against it and pulling you down onto him. You straddle his hips, clearing your throat as you feel his manhood press against your core. You wrap your arms loosely around his shoulders as his hands rest on your hips, leaning his head up slightly to capture your lips once more. 
“This okay?” he mumbles against your lips.
“More than okay,” you answer, beginning to move your lips with his. Without hesitation, you roll your hips against his own. You’re wearing leggings and he’s wearing sweatpants and while the fabric isn’t as thick as jeans, it’s still too much clothing for you because you need to feel more. You need to feel all of him. 
Hugh groans against your lips, feeling his manhood begin to stir awake at the friction. His hands slowly move upwards, underneath your shirt as his fingertips dig into the flesh of your skin. He leans up to gently bite at your lower lip, your moan escaping your lips. 
You apply more pressure when your hips roll against his, his length hardening and straining against the fabric of his sweatpants. You feel a wetness pool between your legs, an anticipation settling into the pit of your stomach. You don’t know how you would wait another few months before fully feeling him inside of you since this sneak peek wasn’t helping. Instead, you’re yearning for more.
Hugh pulls away from the kiss only to place gentle kisses along your jawline, his hands continuing to move up your back, his fingertips brushing against your sports bra and back down to your lower back. The pressure in his pants tighten and he wants nothing more than to rip your leggings off your legs and slam into you, but he has to show some restraint.
You tilt your head slightly for him, exposing more of your neck as you feel his lips and his scruff brush against one of your many hot spots. You whimper, your hands gripping his shoulders. 
“Hugh,” you moan quietly. When you feel his teeth graze your skin, you have to pull back to look down at him. Your chest is heaving and you’re almost breathless. “Mmm, if we don’t stop,” you whisper. “I won’t be able to control what will happen next.” 
Hugh smirks, licking his lips slowly. “Okay,” he says. “Okay. Let me just…” Hugh gently sets you down next to him, readjusting himself in his sweatpants and the action doesn’t go unnoticed. You can see the obvious tent in his pants and his hand grasping himself to adjust his hardening length into a much more comfortable position. You can see the outline of his manhood, feeling your throat go dry at the sight. He’s long and thick and you have to peel your eyes away from him to avoid just settling yourself on your knees between his legs. 
Hugh watches you, eyes taking in your frame from top to bottom. It doesn’t help lessen the pressure in his pants because it only just makes him harder. “I’m actually going to…” he begins, pointing down to the center of his sweatpants. “I’m gonna take care of this. Will you be okay for a bit?” 
You clear your throat. The thought of being under the same roof as Hugh as he’s jerking himself off to the thought of you excites you. “Y— Yeah, I’ll be, um…” you bite your lower lip. “I’ll be here.” 
Hugh nods and then leans over to kiss your cheek, lips brushing against your ear. “If I had it my way, you’d be the one helping me take care of this.”
You shiver against his words and look up at him. “And if I had it my way, I’d drop to my knees in front of you to take care of it.”
Hugh growls, the sight of you on your knees now fully ingrained in his mind. “Great,” he chuckles. “I’m gonna keep that in mind while I…” he points towards his lower half. “While I handle this.” Hugh then stands up from the couch and excuses himself to go to the bathroom, allowing you to lie down on the couch and letting out an exasperated sigh. 
“It’s gonna be a long few months,” you mutter to yourself.
OPENING NIGHT
You feel the nerves begin to build as you’re all getting ready to perform for opening night. You and the rest of the cast and crew are all ready to perform, but you… You’re anxious. You’re nervous. You’re afraid that you’re going to mess up, so when Hugh rests a hand on your lower back, you look up at him with a tense look on your face. 
“You’re gonna be okay, baby,” he whispers. “Just have fun.”
You nod, feeling his hand drop from your lower back and you reach for it, giving it a tight squeeze. “Okay,” you say. “Just have fun,” you repeat. 
“Exactly. Let’s have a great show, yeah?” Hugh reassures. “And after this,” he whispers, lowering enough so that his lips hover against your ear. “We can finally go back to my place and take the next step.” 
That makes you stand straighter. You had been so focused on making sure that your performance was perfect as opening night approaches that you and Hugh hadn’t had an intense, passion-filled night since the night you had your first kiss with him. 
You feel the heat rise in your cheeks as he pulls away with a wink. “You know just the right things to say,” you chuckle. 
Hugh grins. “I knew that’d get you excited.” 
You feel your nerves begin to settle as the curtain begins to rise, knowing that Hugh’s character begins the play with a song Oh, What A Beautiful Mornin’. 
Throughout the play, you feel at ease once you step on stage, easily slipping into character. The back and forth banter between your character and Hugh’s are filled with a hidden and unspoken passion that you have for each other. Despite the roles you’re both playing, you can feel the tension and excitement bubbling within you as the play continues. 
Just another hour and then you and Hugh can finally have the moment you both were waiting for. 
Your first time on Broadway proves to be more than what you expected and you love it. Being on stage, under the bright lights, with a cast and crew that has the same excitement and passion as you makes you aware of the fact that this is truly where you’re meant to be. You couldn’t believe that you had questioned yourself at the beginning of all of this. 
After the scene where Laurey fires Jud, you know what’s coming. The kiss with Curly, followed by the marriage proposal. Once your lips touch Hugh’s, it’s filled with so much passion and relief. Part of you has to wonder if it’s because the characters, Curly and Laurey, finally admitting the love they have for each other, or if it’s because the end of the play is nearing. 
And it isn’t until you pull away that you see a fleeting familiarity flicker in Hugh’s eyes, a grin lining his lips. Throughout the next scenes, you’re both side by side, basked in the joy of being newlyweds and you know there’s a scene where Hugh is shirtless with suspenders. You are both backstage, getting ready for the next scene as you see him flex his arms subconsciously. 
You’ve seen him shirtless before, but right now, there’s something about the sight that makes an immediate wetness pool between your legs. When Hugh looks over at you, he gives you a wink, knowing exactly that you were just checking him out. 
Throughout the rest of the play, as it nears the end, you can’t help the excitement that bubbles within you. It isn’t until the end of the play that Hugh’s touch becomes more urgent, like he’s just as ready to leave with you. Each person with a pivotal role is introduced at the end as they bow towards the audience. 
However, it isn’t until your name is called that the entire audience’s cheers become much louder. You walk towards the edge of the stage and bow, smiling and waving as they give you a standing ovation. You look back at your cast, back at Hugh, who all are clapping for you. 
It was a perfect night and you know it’s only beginning. 
You and Hugh join the rest of the cast for a celebratory after party, having changed into much more comfortable clothing. You’re both at other ends of the room, but while you’re each in a conversation with someone else, your gaze is locked on one another. 
It isn’t a secret that you’re attracted to each other, but tonight, it’s completely obvious. Hugh’s eyes move along your frame slowly and under his gaze – even from afar – it excites you. You look at the time, knowing that it’s already so late and you’re ready to leave. With Hugh. 
You make your rounds, saying goodbye to everyone until you reach Hugh. He excuses himself from the person he was speaking to and meets you halfway, eyes filled with anticipation. 
“I’m heading out,” you say softly. 
“Meet at my place?” Hugh asks.
You bite your lower lip and nod. “I’ll see you there.”
Hugh then reaches out for his phone and sends you a text. You pull out your phone and see a four digit number, furrowing a brow in confusion. “What’s this?”
“The code to get into my place,” Hugh confirms. “If you get there before me, feel free to let yourself in.”
You smile to yourself and then reach up to wrap your arms around him in a hug. “It was a great night, Curly.” 
Hugh’s arm tightens around your frame as he shuts his eyes, whispering into your ear. “And it’s only just starting, Laurey.” He pulls back and kisses your cheek, lingering for a moment before he pulls away completely. “I’ll see you in a bit, baby.” 
You leave the party and make your way to your car, anticipation simmering in your depths. You drive to Hugh’s house, knowing that you’d get there before him. So, when you enter the four digit code the gave you, you see the gates open and you drive into his driveway, the garage opening up for you. 
Just a few minutes after you park, Hugh pulls in behind you. You step out of your car and look over at him, seeing him turn off the headlights once he puts his car in park. He climbs out and strides over to you, arms wrapping around your waist immediately. Without allowing you to speak, he dips down and presses his lips against yours, moving them eagerly against yours. 
“Mmm,” you whimper, feeling his hand move to your backside as he gently squeezes it into his hand. 
“Let’s go inside,” he mumbles, pulling back to look down at you. “I’ve been waiting for months for this,” Hugh chuckles. 
You nod and take his hand, following him inside his home. You don’t get far because you lead him to his living room where you push him back onto his couch and you straddle his hips like the first night you shared your first real kiss with him. 
He doesn’t waste any time in removing your shirt though, growling at the sight of you completely exposed for him, having decided on not wearing a bra. Hugh feels drunk off of you, his mind swirling with the immense thoughts and ideas of what he wants to do to you tonight. He knows he won’t get a chance to do them all in one night, but he just isn’t sure what to do first. He wants to taste you, wants to be head first between your legs. But he also wants to feel your walls wrapped around him, milking him to his own release. 
But your moans… your moans pull him out of his thoughts and he’s suddenly very aware of the look on your face. The heat in your cheeks. Your parted lips. Your breaths coming in short pants. You want this just as bad as he does and it only excites him further. 
“You did amazing tonight, baby,” Hugh says softly, hands coming up to brush against you. 
You whimper, looking deeply into his eyes. “Thank you,” you say quietly, eyes fluttering as his thumbs brush against your peaks. “Hugh…” you moan quietly. 
“I know, baby. I know… Let me take care of you.” 
Throughout that night, you barely got any sleep, but when you did, you were completely spent. Hugh had helped you reach your climax more times than you can count and that had never happened before. He was so generous, so considerate, but it was only because he yearned for the sounds that escaped your lips. Loved to see you squirm against his touch, enjoyed the sight of your eyes fluttering when he finally entered you. 
Hugh knew he wanted more. Needed more. He felt like a possessed man once he finally got that first taste of you. You unleashed something almost animalistic in him – the desire to see you come undone. The first time it happened that night, Hugh was in absolute awe. The way you arched your back, lips apart, body squirming against his mattress and a loud moan escaping your lips… it made Hugh want more of that. Want more of you. 
And he was certainly going to get it, that he was sure of.
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Text
Batman: Who's that over there?
Nightwing turns around to see Red Hood standing a few feet away from him.
Jason: Hiiiii!
Nightwing: That's Jason... We're cool now.
Jason: Heeey!
Nightwing: He's neat for a brother.
Batman: He's... You're on good terms?
Nightwing: Well... Jason are we on good terms?
Jason: ...Eh, 50/50.
Nightwing: 50/50 there you go. Took sometime, but we've been hanging out and he's a good kid so far. He's neat. Jason I said you're neat.
Jason: ...Aww thanks man!
Batman: The man who killed and tried to kill Joker and attacked you... Is neat?!
Nightwing: Yup, you adopted an 8 year old who watched his parents die in the circus. My brother is a mercenary who likes reading classic literature and was brought back from the dead by the Ghul's tossing him in the Lazarus pit.
Jason: Did you tell him about the pit?!
Nightwing: Yes!
Jason: Nice.
Nightwing: He wanted to come with me for the mission. He promised he won't kill anyone. Right Jason, you won't kill anyone?
Jason: Just a pew pew to the non-kill body parts. Yeah.
Nightwing: Non-lethal shots.
Jason is busy spinning his gun around like a child and dancing ready for the mission.
Batman: He's not coming with us.
Nightwing: He said you can't come!
Jason: But it's been years, we can laugh at the time he threw a batarang at my neck. I'm cool with it! I got a cool scar!
Nightwing: See he's cool with it, he has a cool scar.
Batman: Stop repeating what he says!
Jason: I'm going to come over now!
Batman: Don't walk over here. Don't walk over here.
Jason walks over and stands next to Nightwing.
Jason: All right, let's go.
Batman: Nope. I'm taking Robin and were doing this alone.
Jason: Oh is it still Tim, please be Tim.
Nightwing: You do not like that kid. It's like a hateship with you too.
Jason: Yeah I like messing with him.
Jason follows Batman to the batmobile and looks through the front passenger window then opens the door and yanks Tim (as Red Robin out of the car).
Jason: Your mom says hi.
Tim growls and attempts to swipe at Jason, but Batman holds him back.
Tim: Let me at him! You and me! I will wreck your shit!
Batman: Let it go!
Tim: Come on! I will beat your ass!
Jason: Hey man you ain't got to make empty promises I know you're lying!
Nightwing: Jason.
Jason: I'm done. I'll be waiting in the car. This was fun.
Jason laughs walking back to the car. Nightwing walks over to Batman and Tim and pats Tim on the head.
Nightwing: He's easy going and nicer.
Tim glares at Nightwing then crosses his arms angry.
Nightwing: I'm not doing this with you two he is trying to go on the sort of straight and narrow and he offered to drive so that helps because my car is in the shop. This was the only way that I could bring him since you're being stubborn how's that broken nose healing by the way?
Batman: How's yours?
Nightwing: Didn't break it you can't break perfection. Sorry.
Tim chuckles as Batman holds him. Batman groaned dropping the teen.
Nightwing: After we saved you from Freeze you promised you'd hear him out... And then never showed up to the intervention. I know how you are, being Batman is your job. You will talk during this fucking job if I have to tie you both up and trap you in a fucking saw-type warehouse. Okay? I am at my limit! Starfire notices and that has made the bedroom difficult, you two are going to talk and make up! Got it!
Batman: I-
Nightwing: GOT IT!
Batman: Okay, when this plan fails, just get ready to say I'm right.
Batman walks off. Tim stands up, wiping dirt off his suit.
Tim: I'm not mad at you Nightwing. I hate Jason currently, but I trust your word implicitly.
Nightwing: Thanks Tim that's why I like you.
Tim: Awesome.
Batman: Robin, bring your ass!
Tim: I gotta go, we'll meet you there.
Nightwing: Gotcha.
Nightwing heads back to his as Jason is playing Death Metal.
Jason: Ready?
Nightwing: Yeah he said you can go and that "when the plan fails I better get ready to say he was right".
Jason: Expected. Seat belts on, Dickie. I'm going to be driving fast.
Nightwing (clicking on seatbelt): Expected.
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kamimarroco · 2 days
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A story where Ren suddenly starts chatting with you because he apparently cares about you staying up late at night. Not reviewed, may undergo corrections in the future.
Words: 1100+
“are you still awake?”
The vibration of your phone and the appearance of a notification startled you, almost making you drop the device. You looked closely at the top left corner of the screen and saw the time.
It is currently 2:35 in the morning.
People at this time are usually sleeping, and those who aren't are probably sorting out work issues or are insomniacs.
You didn't fit into either of them, since your irregularity was due to the fact that you were too stubborn.
A shame, really.
You didn't stand on ceremony and immediately clicked on the notification, being taken to the chat with an unknown person.
Well, not really an unknown person... Looking more carefully, your sleepy mind managed to rationalize and recognize who you were talking to.
Oh, it's Ren.
“yea but dw, i'll go to sleep soon”
You immediately saw him start writing after receiving your message.
“are you sure? that doesn't sound honest to me. you've been online a lot lately”
How long exactly has he been watching you to say that? Sure, it's possible to see when your profile is online because of the app's settings, but it makes you wonder if he's been watching you all this time.
“have you been watching me online?”, you ask without hesitation.
You feel him give a slight chuckle from the other side of the screen.
“haha maybe. but don't get me wrong, you really do spend a lot of time awake at night, and that makes me a lil worried”
You're torn between finding his statement strange or acknowledging your not-so-healthy habit. It's true, you're weird, anyone would find it at least slightly worrying that you spend so much time online in the early hours of the morning.
“and what about you? you are also online right now at this very moment”, you retort back, anxiety consuming you as you wait for his response.
He would be considered a hypocrite for finding your habit troubling if he does the exact same thing.
“i have a very valid reason for that. my routine makes me stay awake at night and sleep in the morning or afternoon”
Now you feel an arrow hitting right in the middle of your heart. Sure, of course he would have a good reason to be awake at this hour.
You are the only odd one out in this situation.
“i'm sorry about that, i felt defensive about my habit being called out”, you apologized, worried that your words had come across as rude to him.
“that's alright. it's 2:42 am, no hard feelings”
You felt relieved that he didn't resent your words, despite knowing that they did not convey the same intonation as in real life.
you're thinking too much (or too little), your emotions are starting to eat you up.
“but i still think you should sleep”, he sent a second message.
You felt like a child being scolded by your father, being called out for your unhealthy behavior. You felt your cheeks flush and shame enter your system.
“i already told you, i'll sleep soon”, even if he doesn't notice, you felt like a sullen child trying to explain yourself.
“wheeen?”
“by the holy of god Ren, i'm not some kind of child”, you felt the need to say his nickname (name?) for the first time, trying to emphasize your slight irritation.
This time it took him a while to answer you, seeming to process the fact that you called him by his name. You felt judged in some way for this, thinking that maybe you weren't close enough to call him that.
when did you get so soft? is it sleep that's making you think too much?
Just as you were about to text him an apology, he interrupted you.
“i know that, i just worry about you”, his message warmed your heart in a way you couldn't imagine.
That's… sweet of him. Worrying about you even though you two are just strangers on the internet who bump into each other every now and then.
Are you falling in love?
“i appreciate ur concern, but i know what i'm doing”
No, you don't.
He sent you a picture of a fox with one eyebrow raised, appearing to doubt your certainty.
That brought out a genuine laugh you didn't know you were holding back.
you're leaving yourself vulnerable around him.
“aaaw what a cutie fox!! <3”, you said, referring to the image received.
“it really is! do you like foxes?”
“yea i like them! they are cute and fluffy and i honestly feel like hugging them”
For a while, Ren seemed to forget the fact that you were awake and kept talking to you about random, unrelated topics. Neither of them really had any connection with the other, but one thing led to another.
You noticed how easy it is to talk to him. He has a fluid oratory and is always making associations with other things he knows.
You found yourself incredibly interested and captivated in the conversation you suddenly began having with this stranger.
is this a red flag? shouldn't you be more concerned about a sudden approach?
When you looked at the time on your phone, you realized it was already 3:56 am, almost four in the morning.
Jesus, did you really spend that much time talking to him?
Feeling the tiredness consume you completely, you (finally) felt it was time to let your body have some much-needed rest.
“hey i know we're still talking, but it's almost four in the morning…”, you began delicately, not wanting to give him the wrong idea that you didn't want to talk anymore.
why are you so concerned about what he thinks, in the first place?
“i don't want to let our conversation end here, so i thought we could continue it another time”
Nonono, stop this, you're falling into his trap
“i'm sorry about this, my body is really screaming for sleep”
You idiot.
Ren analyzed your messages a bit before giving a proper response.
“awe that's alright! i really wanted u to sleep in the first place, and i feel kind of guilty that i did a bad job xd”
“keeping u awake and everything”
You felt guilty for him feeling guilty because it wasn't his fault in the first place! You were the idiot who decided to stay up at night, so the damage was already done.
“nonono u didn't! i was the dumb one for staying awake until now”
“i really enjoyed our conversation tbh”
You sent it and already felt your eyelashes getting heavy.
“hehe me too! i look forward to our next conversations”
“but now u really need to sleep, so pls don't stay up too long <3”
Silly little guy. He really gets you, doesn't he?
You felt happy that you had at least met someone during your time awake at night.
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prinzrupprecht · 7 hours
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The Competition (part 3)
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I’ll be posting To Live or Die chapter 5 tomorrow and then continuing part 3 of the ‘when someone else gives you gifts’ in the following day or two with Okita in it this time.
Part 1 Part 2
Pairing: Okita Souji x fem!reader
Synopsis: A few weeks had passed and you weren’t as bad as you expected to be compared to them. You enjoyed everyone’s company and felt relieved that they were nice to you. Everyone opened up to you except for one person— Okita. Even when he helps you, he still was aloof around you which was unfortunate. He doesn’t talk about himself like how the others do. Even though Kondo was mainly the instructor and boss, Souji wanted to help you in other aspects such as your speed and sword skills.
TW: none this part!
WC: 1723
You were suddenly beaten down hard from the force of Okita’s bokken clashing with yours causing you to fall backwards. “Oops, sorry about that!” Souji stepped back and gave you a heartfelt laugh. He has been trying to be gentle with you. You could tell the level from his attack power and yours is too big of a gap. He sometimes can’t help with his overwhelming speed and power in the moment when he spars with you or others.
It’s been a few weeks with them and you enjoyed everyone’s company and time. You were unsure how they felt about you. The dojo was a mess normally and you took over Kondo’s cooking in a nice way to give him a “break” when in reality, you couldn’t eat the inedible food he serves to everyone.
“Oi! Weird girl! You’re cooking for us again, right?” Hijikata draped an arm over your shoulder. He quickly pulled away from him.
“Stop calling me that, and ya I can cook something later if Kondo is okay with that.” With a quick huff, you noticed that Okita wasn’t anyone in sight.
“Well, whatever. I’m starving…” Hijikata flopped on the floor and Nagakura went over to check on him. Kondo was talking to one of the higher officials from what seemed like to be the military centre. Was he still trying to be a Kenjutsu professor there? You went over to dust the floor from all the training from earlier and get water from the well from outside.
Your eyes found Souji playing and laughing with a few of the kids who always came around when they were bored. What was this feeling that tugged at your heart? You remember them coming around a few times always asking if Souji was around. Every day you learn something new about him. He liked kids?
“Kondo-san is looking for you.” Abiru stepped outside and noticed your focus was on something else.
“Oh, I’ll find him then.” You were embarrassed and thankful Abiru didn’t question why you were watching Souji. It was odd but your fascination for him only grew over time and even before you met him.
You walked over to Kondo’s room and saw him reading a book and drinking tea. “You needed me?” You stopped by the door and he nodded.
“I noticed your progress is getting better. I hope Souji hasn’t been too hard on you the past few weeks.” He grinned as if he was proud of you. You had barely met the man but this brought you some joy.
“Ya… I guess. He’s been great! I’m just curious how he is the strongest for someone… his size?” your question made Kondo laugh.
“He just is, ever since I took him in.” Kondo stopped himself from mentioning how Okita is a demon child which makes him different from the others. Souji can’t control his battle instinct which could lead to him hurting others by accident. Kondo knew that and still looked after him. You admired this side of Kondo for being caring for him.
“You— You raised him?” you quietly asked. Kondo always kept his grin and kind features.
“It’s a long and painful story,” Kondo began while taking another sip of his tea.
“he was abandoned by his sister when he was nine after he protected themselves from a few ronin. I happened to see the incident and decided to take him in and become a disciple here. I wouldn’t bring any of this up to him, he may look tough but he’s a very kind person.” Kondo told you this. You had no idea he suffered from abandonment as a child. He seemed very distant from the others at times, but the next moment he would be fooling around with some of them. Maybe his past doesn't bother him?
“Of course, I had no idea. He has helped me a lot with my training. So as a few of the others…” you muttered.
You had assumed Kondo was checking in on how you were liking his dojo. Of course, you liked it and preferred it over your other dojo.
-
Over the next few days at the Shieikan dojo, you still practiced the Tennin rishin-ryu style barely getting the hang of it. Souji was busy or not around so you’ve been alone most of the time despite you could’ve sparred with Hijikata or Nagakura when they asked.
“You’ve gotten a lot better since the time you arrived here!” Someone clapped behind you. Okita was in his casual green kimono. You wondered how long was he watching you swing the bokken for. It didn’t matter, you could never be in the same league as him anyway. Was it even a competition still?
“Ya… I think I’m going to take a break.” You put the bokken away and proceeded to walk inside where some of the members were exhausted from their training. Kondo had cooked ahead of time but you were too late to offer, seems like he wasn’t reading from your cooking recipes.
“Not this garbage again…” Hijikata stuffed a handful of uncooked rice into his mouth.
“Shut up before you upset Souji if you make fun of Kondo’s cooking again,” Abiru looked worried but Hijikata shrugged like he didn’t care if he took another beating from him.
“Hey hey! No need to get upset,” you mumbled but all you received was glares from some of them. Souji asked you to sit with him outside which was kind of surprising. Everyone was taking a break it seems and were busy again arguing with one another and Yamanami putting sense into them like usual.
You walked back outside and sat down next to Souji on the porch as you drank some herbal tea in silence while glancing over to see him petting a black cat. “Do you normally take care of them?” You broke the silence.
“Huh? Oh! Ya, I do.” He quickly grabbed your hand to pet the ball of fur on his lap. You thought it was cute how he was such an animal lover. The cat was purring loudly and liked being scratched. How many strays were there? 10? 15? They keep on multiplying and Souji refuses to let them starve. He and Kondo would sometimes give whatever leftovers to them.
“See, she likes you.” he said but before you know it a few more kittens popped out from under the porch. They seemed a bit skittish around you but not with him. He didn’t look at you as he went to pick one of them up. This was another reason you shouldn’t judge someone based off what rumours say.
“My previous dojo had a few cats but they wouldn’t let anyone come up to them… I’m glad you’re someone they can trust.” You tried to give a cheeky smile. He was happy to hear that he was someone they could trust. Yet, he still was saddened from what Kondo told him of your dojo in private when he asked. You were also private and kept your past in the past.
“What was it like with your dojo? If you don’t mind telling me,” he sat back next to you putting one of the kittens in your lap.
You smiled and were somewhat surprised that he wanted to know about your previous dojo. “I didn’t really choose to be a part of them. My parents disappeared when I was young. I can barely even remember their faces since it’s been so many years. I was found by the dojo owner of the Tamiya-ryu and my fighting instinct is why I was made a disciple there.” You couldn’t help but remember all the memories from that dojo. The members treated you as a nobody and acted like they held higher authority over you.
“They really picked a lot of fights with us,” Souji softly chuckles but he wasn’t upset or mad about it. You wondered why they did, you only heard from the few members as to why they tried to attack Kondo’s dojo was because of ego?
“I’m sorry they did that…” you muttered in embarrassment. They put the entire dojo to shame including you.
“Don’t be, I’m glad you left them. They seemed weak and you’re not.” His words lightened your mood and brought a smile to your face. He was always nice to you, which made your heart stutter a bit. Just as you were going to say something else, Kondo walked outside to where you two were.
“It seems you two are getting along?” he raised a suspicious brow but Souji just smiled and nodded. Kondo had never seen Souji bond with anyone like this. He cared for his friends and took his training seriously, but friendly conversations with someone were quite rare. Souji enjoyed your company and didn’t act aloof around you as he used to. He preferred his space a lot of times when the others were fighting or arguing, Souji didn't really get involved in their shenanigans and preferred being outside in the company of cats.
“Ya of course! Why wouldn’t we be?” you awkwardly laughed before standing up and running back inside.
“I see,” Kondo didn’t pressure Souji to say anything about what you two were talking about.
Kondo thought it was interesting how you jumped from his interruption and quickly left. Kondo looked down at Souji who was grinning at nothing in particular. It was nice that someone who shares a similar past with him is getting along despite you were from another dojo.
Souji normally kept quiet while watching his friends spar against each other. Whenever they ask him to spar, it normally ends within a few seconds. Even sneak attacks don’t work on Souji, but Nagakura would still try from time again even though he gets knocked out usually from Souji’s quick reflexes.
Kondo grimaced and still never judged you for being coming from a shitty dojo. Even Souji was from another dojo as well but was kicked out for hurting everyone on accident. Kondo was an observer and could tell that Souji in the past few weeks was particularly growing fond of you because of a lot of things. Your sword skills and kind personality were one.
However, Kondo would eventually need to have that talk with him even if his suspicions were wrong.
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Note: posting this before the new chapter leaks drop because I know imma be depressed for a while. Part 4 will be the final to this. I just love and enjoy writing AUs instead of following direct canon events and stories.
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oifaaa · 3 months
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*Pulling up my Sleeves* No one talk shit about my favorite artist and get away with it
considering I was the one talking shit I'm ready to fight when ever you are come at me
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averlym · 1 year
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whshdfhfjf.,,,
#close up!! because i firstly Did Not render them with such insanity in order for tumblr's lack of general resolution to make it blur#look at all the lines!!! teehee i still really really like this style of digital painting it's super super fun to do!!! and also secondly#because i went back and added a tag ramble and as i seem to often be doing??? lately?? reached the 30 tag limit and went 'hm ok how else..'#anyway the tag essay on that one is now up and talks about the artwork generally and miscellaneous thoughts!! that said. i need a space to#ramble about beatrix at Length because look you don't draw and paint etc a character for like ten hours without having a lot of thoughts#anyways ! i digress terrifically. tag rambles are more like trains of thoughts masquerading as subways and you get on and it's unfortunately#a rollercoaster track. but this is My Blog and i can do Whatever I Want as long as i don't hurt anyone <- affirmations!! also Harm Principle#lately it's been like *kicks up feet* *opens tumblr tags* *treats it as own personal journal* and tbh Good for me!! anyways back to beatrix#fun fact ! the thing that pushed me over the edge to go watch the musical after looking through the tumblr tag was a very specific poll.#and the fact that the winning option was blue hair and pronouns made me double over laughing so hard i had to go see the source material#mm i feel like lately the academic Context has been tossing me essentially into a blender HAHA ;-; so everyone in adamandi is to some extent#a Mood. but bea-specific (haha be specific)(sorry!)(wow this is the same reaction mechanism of my friend who points out innuendos)(...)#i think it's the wanting to prove herself. like from the whole abuela etc thing there's proof here she's got a Stable Support System of sort#and instead what beatrix continues to do is push themselves. 'i guess u could say i'm married to my work? god that's depressing' // no one#here to enforce that // abuela tells me to rest says i'm constantly stressed and i'll just get depressed like before but i still have to try#like. that shred of desperation that pushes you to the brink to neglect yourself (well i guess physically but also your morals..) and like!!#the whole 'lose half your soul thing' proves she's self aware!! like they know what they're doing is super dubious yknow! but they're still#they're still doing it even if it goes into conflict with their morality system in a way and then they justify it to themselves (see pt 1#of ghostwriter) and the whole wanting to achieve at all costs Despite the self awareness. (i think? this aspect also applied to quincy. but#thoughts on him will come later). more beatrix specific also is the fact that they genuinely adore their work.. 'i just love it here where#you know they'll be printing forever and you are just part of it' because that does kind of resonate with me. also the being behind in the#competition is real!!! i'm maybe talking about Art as a subject because that same drive for it exists on my good days i think. even#even when nothing seems to be going right and you've ended up at the back the intent passion inherent in what you do is still there!!!#the genuine. care she has for reporting. is so !!!!! to me... other beatrix thoughts include 'why reveal yourself at the end' aka vincent's#'u should have stayed silent u had a smart plan' like rip to them but i would not // it feels with bea's complex character i can't imagine h#her Not doing that. like the guilt is real i guess. and i am running out of tags but! smth also about her fervent hope or smth that she'll#eventually get to where she wants. and the resilient determination.. 'i won't let their deaths be pointless there's more good i'm gonna do'#they're so so real for that. i'm not sure if it's a good or bad thing; seeing myself reflected in aspects of characters like this.. but it's#it's there regardless. smth smth just make your peace with the person you are ig!! tldr beatrix campbell my beloved. hehe#adamandi
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the-acid-pear · 5 months
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hey do u fw phone guy jack and if so do you have any thoughts on phone guy jack
I loooooove phone jack as a concept unfortunately I haven't managed to build a coherent thought since the summer of '92 but let me try like. I mean he'd be undeniably one of the fucking worst ones hands down. Steven would blush next to how atrocious of a boss phone Jack would be. Because he's a bit of a cunt as it stands but w his brain reprogrammed to focus mainly on the company and forget his previous life? He'd be a turbo cunt. And I don't think he'd even that good at the job either. I do wonder if he'd manage to keep the narrator or not. I'd be funny if he did and the narrator remembered everything but was like, unwilling to tell him? Or maybe he'd tell him and Jack would just ignore it. He's busy half assing his duties to be bothering with past memories you know?
Hell even if he remembered I think it'd be a bit of a Roger moment in the sense that he was already fucking MISERABLE where he was and now he is Someone he's Scott™ and he lost everything already so what's even the point? Here is bad but there is worse.
Maybe I had more thoughts than I accounted for.
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kyouka-supremacy · 1 year
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Does anyone know where I can find the good quality version of this image? It's so frustrating because when cross searching on google it'll tell me the original quality is 850x478, but I can't find a way to download it in that quality. This is another version of the image (I'm guessing it's Mayoi promo art):
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But I liked the clean white background one...
#It's cute...#It's got Akutagawa stealing glances at Atsushi#Thought asking was worth a try ;;;;;;#Google cross image search has changed and as someone who used it as I use breathing it's been absolutely heartbreaking.#It makes cross searching images so much harder it's awful#Because before when you looked up an image it suggested you the best quality avaible of that image.#And the search got worse every year but it was still functional you know??#But now there's not that anymore. There's no “large” “medium” “small” and instead it only gives you “find image source”#Dude I don't want to find the image source. I've downloaded the image I KNOW the source. What I want is ANOTHER SOURCE with better quality#And I used to get it when I was 10 and I used to get it when I was 15 and I sued to get it when I was 20#And now I don't have it anymore?? It stripes away one of the most powerful search tools on the internet from the public????#It drives me insane. Like why does internet get worse every year that's not how humanity is supposed to work#Sorry. I needed to rant. This makes every quality-freak media archivist (like me) job harder beyond comparison#Btw if you're looking for an alternative Yandex images still does the work... It's not as powerful search engine as google#and it's often going to miss the particular hidden media (y'know- super niche Akutagawa merch from 2018 and stuff)#But for the rest it does a pretty good job. If anything there's still the best quality avaible option#But seriously looking up stuff for aktgw-daily has gotten so much harder ever since this fucked up change to google lens#and it makes me hate the world. I haven't been able to find a way to reverse it but if anyone more tech savy than me who has any idea-#what I'm talking about can help me. Please please hmu I'll be grateful forever#Sorry for the rant I have a lot of pent up rage over this. Stop making broke people's lives harder challenge#random rambles
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milflewis · 9 months
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every single day this week has been another variation of surprise shawty! except every surprise has been a nightmare and shawty is so sad
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rosicheeks · 2 months
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I hope your days aren't as heavy and dark, I am sending all the positive thoughts your way. You deserve the best, fairy princess. <3
😭
#I’ve been getting such sweet asks#I can’t tell you how much they mean to me right now#unfortunately my days have been pretty dark and overwhelming#struggling more than I ever have before tbh#and I’ve struggled most of my life so that’s saying something#also tried to go on TikTok for a little bit and oh BOY that was a bad decision#I might come back sometime soon#it’s just hard when my meds and everything have been making me very sex repulsed 😬#and half of the posts on my feed are very sexy related lol#so I guess that’s probably the main reason I haven’t been on here as much as I used to#also really don’t have the energy to reply or talk to people anymore#(sorry to anyone who has tried to DM me or contact me in any way -#I’ve barely been able to get out of bed so I definitely don’t have the energy to reply to people)#fun fact I went on TikTok finally cause everyone keeps talking about it#somehow ended up on the abortion debate side of TikTok???? so I kept seeing these bullshit debates#the final straw was the other day I saw some dipshit put as their claim ‘prochoice is a mental illness’#don’t even get me started on that it makes me so made I start to shake#I’m sorry but that is so offensive to people who are struggling with real mental illnesses???#went up as a guest (surprisingly) and was trying to explain how ridiculous that statement was and one of the people literally said#‘this is not a safe space’#lol ok byeeeee#obviously not expecting every where to be a safe space but for someone to literally SAY that is wild to me#I always try to keep a safe space no matter who I’m talking to or what about#that still is bothering me so so much#main reason why I’m still on there is cause I love this creator and want to support her as much as possible#but idk how much longer I can be on there… was even thinking about trying to post and make money over there#but ha ha ha guess not#back to square one#I’m running out of space as always but thank you so so so much for the kind words they mean the world to me!! also FAIRY princess???#I’ve never heard that before 🥹🥹🥹 thank you thank you thank you wishing you a lovely day 🫶
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sskk-manifesto · 2 months
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#Fifteen episode 2. Mmmmmmhhhhhh#The animation quality DOES get worse. This episode shows it lol#So many static frames stretching for so long... I feel so sorry for the animators.#I still stand by the fact that if studios can't provide enough budget or time to their animators seasons simply shouldn't be released.#But after all who am I to talk...#The scene of Dazai shooting at the soldier makes my blood freeze. Rimbaud throwing books in the fire is equally upsetting#Like I /know/ it's an anime about literature with constant metafiction references–#and that this too has a symbolic meaning and is *supposed* to be upsetting but that said.#Seeing whole books being thrown in the fire is such a disturbing sight that calls for such a visceral response in me 😭😭😭#The amv opening is nice! Makes me even more bitter about season 5 one lmao. Of the kind#“not only we had to get a amv opening (((while we deserved a wholly ss/kk focused opening)))‚ we even got a bad amv ending at that”#Mmmmhhhh I hateeeeeee how they handled the Sheep 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 Seriously this is just another bug instance of#“me and the author have WHOLLY different views of what human nature is like”#I just... Don't think... Children joining together in an hostile environment would act like that. I'm so much more of a t/pn kind of guy.#Children who come together to survive would protect each other and especially would trust each other. Why is there such a big lack of trust#Why doesn't Shirase trust Chuuya? Why doesn't Chuuya trust Shirase (with handling more information)? It's just dumb#It's dumb. It sounds stupid from the very plot aspect that Chuuya would act so shady and suspicious with the Sheep instead of being open–#about what his course of action is. It's like he was trying to have them turn on him. It's stupid of Shirase to mistrust Chuuya–#when in eight years he never gave them any reason to doubt of him.#And I know right as I'm writing this that someone is going to read it and think “you're completely missing on the unbalance of power that–#creates these dynamics of lack of trust” but the thing is exactly that I don't see why that unbalance of power would ever come to be!#They're all just kids. They're aware of that. If Chuuya never had malicious intentions towards Shirase‚ I don't see why he would ever fear–#his betrayal. Likewise‚ I don't see why Shirase and the other Sheep members would ever be so manipulative and disrespectful towards–#Chuuya if he's been nothing but kind to them (and we have no reason to think otherwise)?#It all comes down to: I think people are inherently good and willing to help each other. The author thinks not lmao. It is what it is#But I wish you could see t/pn. Where kids are constantly trying to outwit each other in order to OUT-SACRIFICE THEMSELVES for the others lo#I love t/pn it's my life... I miss it#random rambles#And if anyone would like to argue that Dazai specifically set them off to betray each other... Yes I DO understand that's what the story–#is suggesting. I just don't think Dazai - for how good. and infallible he is - is enough to scrape long-term relationships of trust.
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northern-passage · 1 year
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hello! read the wlw vampire story you recommended and I loved it and was then surprised to see it was written by the author of The Hacienda, which I didn't enjoy. I was wondering if you read it? It has been pretty popular on booktube!
no i haven't! i actually had never heard of her at all, which did surprise me when i looked her up and saw she had published a book. and i very much did get the vibe that it was the kind of book that would be popular on booktube (not in a negative way like. it's just a Vibe, you can tell) so i was surprised that i had never heard of her because i do love booktube reviews lol
when i found that story i was just in the Mood for vampires (it's what i've been writing for like the last month now) and had literally just searched vampires on that website and was reading a bunch of the short stories, and that one just happened to be the best one, imo. and then i briefly looked her up before recommending it just because i like to do a vibe check before i recommend someone, hahaha
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voulezloux · 4 months
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i’m tired of having to explain to my friends why i had to make a post basically begging for support while im unable to work because it only makes me more angry every time i do so. like i can’t get short term disability because that’s not a benefit that they offer and even if they did, i would have to pay for that myself in order to get it. i could’ve rolled over my old plan from the previous owner to the new owner and pay for it separately. but the one time i had used it, they put me under illness and not injury (which is what it was. because i injured my foot and couldn’t stand to do my job. i even put it as an injury and they said i lied and changed it) and the payout i got barely covered my bills. i didn’t see a point in continuing to pay for a service that would do that plus it took a full month after i went back to work to even get the payout. the only benefits they offer at 401(k) with them matching, PTO, and health insurance. that’s it. i’m using what’s left of my PTO this week to bulk up my paycheck so i can actually get some kind of money but after that i don’t know when i’ll have a paycheck next. i’m looking for work because i can’t afford not to work. there’s nothing in place to protect the worker at my job in the event of this happening. the only reason im not completely losing my mind is because im still able to get health insurance while im unable to work but that’s not because of them. that’s because of FMLA. if that wasn’t in place, who the fuck knows man
#o posts#i won’t get into how i don’t like the owners son and how he basically said i wasn’t valuable to the company anymore while injured#in a more professional way#or how they offer pto but only if you work a min of 34hrs a week and that’s regardless of ft or pt status#or how they offer health insurance but only to those who work 30+hrs a week#again regardless of ft or pt status#and i especially won’t get into how i had 0 faith in getting any support from anyone when making this post#asking for help#because i’ve literally been homeless and i was told they would keep me in their thoughts and prayers#thoughts and prayers aren’t going to pay my bills linda!#i’ve gotten more support than i thought i would get#i won’t say how many and i won’t say how much#but it’s more than i thought it would be#and that’s also because i fully expected 0 people to help with $0#hell people can’t even share the post i made to try and help me#like my moms the only fucking share that post has#thoughts prayers and good vibes are nice and i appreciate them#but the companies i pay my bills to won’t take them as payment#but ya know#america’s so fucking great!#also i’m sorry i know my blog has been a fucking trainwreck for almost a month now#with me being all over the place emotionally#everything has gone to shit and at least here#if i post something im already expecting to be talking to the void instead of expecting someone to spare a like or comment to it#i love tumblr for that and it’s truly the only place i have currently where i can yell and cry in between therapy
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hershelwidget · 5 months
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I don’t know anymore have a Caleb prepared to Fight for his bestie
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“she asked for no pickles” lookin scene
#his character arc from goofy tall guy to Don’t Talk To Me Or My Friends Ever Again is WILD#hershel’s octonauts au#octonauts gups#in all seriousness this scene is based off of the concept of lars making his way onto the ship#caleb and beast both want him DEAD dead#also to explain emma:#she gained a genuine phobia from the trauma of her experience with lars and has nightmares about him like. 3 times a week#bundle that info with the fact that caleb and emma are quite close and badda bam you have the scene#technically speaking emma did ask for no pickles. she asked to not Be the pickles.#i’m normal about these two specifically i need to study their friendship under a microscope#to ramble about caleb for a second sorry-#he had enough soup before his death for the effects to. well. take effect. and he gained a rather mild form of amnesia but still Amnesia#he doesn’t fully remember darwin but knows in his heart that darwin is important to him so he stays near them when possible#(as a result from the trauma of being murdered) he sometimes has moments where he Shuts Down#but he’ll still try to be close to any of his friends ; though those moments bring him closer to emma because she’s usually the one to#guide him when he does that (she does it too)#he wants lars dead because he’s being angry ‘on behalf’ of darwin and emma his two favourite people in the world#obviously thats not really how it works but that’s what he feels is going on#’if not me then who’ type of situation with this guy yk.#also ALSO one time he absolutely destroyed felix because he found out that he’s been manipulating emma so there’s also that#caleb is VERY protective about emma actually. most of the time it’s unnecessary honestly#it only really becomes useful against the other spirits or against lars#like in the picture !! woah it comes full circle i know right#thats my cue to post the thing . sighs . caleb i love you don’t let lars hurt anyone else
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