#who saw that trait as something essential to himself.

[zincbot]

i think it's fun to sprinkle a little personal issue into a dnd character, exaggerate it to make it that much easier to dissect

[spacerockfloater]

hi! i noticed you learnt about what ryan condal said regarding blood and cheese. it was…something. i would like to know your thoughts on the matter. though it would be completely understandable if you need sometime to gather them together or if you would rather not at all! thank you and bye!

Hello beloved, thank you so much for asking me! I’d love to share my opinion!

If anyone’s wondering, @rhaenelle is referring to this interview where Ryan Condal essentially says he believes that Blood & Cheese’s brutality and heinousness was exaggerated by the Greens in a propagandistic attempt to convince their subjects that Rhaenyra and Daemon are the worst villains ever born, hence why he toned the event down; to show us what he thinks is the accurate version of Jaehaerys’ murder.

Now, I am aware that Condal had already warned us that HOTD was going to be a feminist retelling of the events of F&B, which practically means that his plan has always been to whitewash the everlasting fuck out of Rhaenyra. So what do I think about this?

Well, for starters, I think that Ryan Condal is an excellent businessman. He knows what kind of tropes are going to make the audience engage with his show. He understands that people need a hero to cheer for and a villain to hate, therefore he removed the moral ambiguity from all of the characters and divided them into two categories: the Blacks, enlightened revolutionaries full of passion, deserving of admiration and correct in everything they do, and the Greens, pious fools with a moral superiority complex who are stack in the ways of the past and commit despicable crimes. The average viewer does not possess the intelligence to comprehend that both parties have their good and bad moments, and that they’re both correct in fighting for what each believes is rightfully theirs. Simultaneously, he benefits from the modern trends that want women in media to take revenge when they are wronged and emerge as triumphant girlbosses, because of course a white upper class woman’s suffering in a western world (or Westeros) society has everything to do with her gender and nothing to do with her personality or decisions (even if this works solely for Rhaenyra, because Alicent seems to be held accountable for every single one of her actions). Finally, it is obvious that Condal is trying to appease disgruntled Daenerys fans, so he has rebuilt Rhaenyra into this tortured martyr that wishes to change the world for the better in an attempt to make her resemble her great granddaughter six times removed.

For all of these reasons, I find it very logical that he is going out of his way to minimise the tragedy the Greens experience. It just doesn’t make Rhaenyra look good and honestly, who wants that? The producers saw how unhappy Danny’s stans were when they made her lose her shit; they’re not going to make the same mistake twice. They don’t want their show to tank like the last season of GOT did, so they’ll do everything in their power to keep the audience happy. And it’s working! What’s the last thing Condal says in this clip? “You kinda start rooting for [Blood and Cheese]!” and boy oh boy, the TB stans sure do! Literally hundreds of memes that rejoiced at Jaehaerys’ death were posted on X this week, with tens of thousands of likes. But when Lucerys died, it was presented as the most foul thing to ever happen in the ASOIAF universe. It is the TB supporters that dictate which child murder is good and which is bad, and that decision usually depends on which child came out Rhaenyra’s womb, not let’s say, the fact that one kid was a toddler that could barely walk, while the other was a teenager that laughed at the disabled person he mutilated himself.

It’s all just marketing

That being said, I want to clarify that I understand why Condal and the HOTD producers do what they do, but being a good entrepreneur does not necessarily make you a literary genius. Now, I’m not gonna explain why stripping Rhaenyra off of every character trait that made her interesting is a bad decision and that in their attempt to remove the blame from her so that they can elevate her as this righteous patron of feminism, they’re accidentally removing all of her agency and turning her simply into a victim, because I have a whole blog dedicated to that. But let’s just say that presenting Rhaenyra as this sexually liberated idol that’s incapable of evil, when in fact she’s an entitled aristocrat who’s completely at the mercy of men around her, from her father to her husbuncle, is the most performative activism move ever pulled in recent TV history, as well as pushing the narrative that Alicent suffers from internalised misogyny because duh, a woman can only be good and a feminist if she supports Rhaenyra, not when she pursues her own interests.

Ultimately, I think we just have to accept that this show is not meant for TG fans. We are not going to find any satisfaction in it. Everything that was unique and admirable about the Greens in the book has vanished. Their family dynamic is fucked up, Alicent’s children hate her, Aegon and Halaena cannot stand one another, Alicent is constantly a victim and never someone that chases her own ambitions, Halaena is very vague, Aemond appears to be more angsty than angry, Aegon is a stupid rapist, Jaehaerys’ death was turned into a mockery, Alicole was weaponised in order to make us shit on Alicent and Criston even more and so on. This show barely caters to us because we’re not making them any money.

The reason that there are more TB than TG stans is because (I’m gonna get so much fucking hate for this) most people who watch TV are fucking morons. I swear, when F&B came out 6 years ago, no one gave a flying fuck about Rhaenyra, because we all understood that everyone involved in the Dance of the Dragons was fucked up in their own way and that the message of this story, just like the general message of ASOIAF, is that nobody deserves to sit on that fucking throne. We were all in agreement about that. But then this fucking show came along and all the oblivious simpletons that swallowed whatever the producers shoved down their throats, grabbed the book and decided that “Woah, this book is obviously a critique on patriarchy and Rhaenyra is obviously the victim of the story”! As if GRRM, the man who said that he doesn’t sit down and think “Oh, I’m going to write a woman now” but instead he believes women to be people just like men, with complex personalities, would ever do that. And they just can’t believe that it is possible for book!Rhaenyra to be an evil racist classist full of entitlement! Surely it must be because the Greens are rewriting history! There’s no way GRRM, the man that created Cersei fucking Lannister, would ever make a female character that’s vicious and crazy just because she feels like it! Y’all need to sit down for a moment. I say this as a radical feminist that supports the 4B movement: you’re projecting your own ideas onto George’s work. Not all the media we consume has to reflect our ideologies, but if you think that it has to, then this book isn’t the anti misogynistic masterpiece you wish it was.

Like, when it comes to F&B, I am firmly anti Targaryen and did not wish for any side to win. I wanted them all wiped out to be honest. But when it comes to HOTD, I’m TG basically out of spite at this point.

All in all, I just think that things are going to go downhill for us from this point on. They’ll just keep glorifying the Blacks until the very end.

[princessbrunette]

would you please write more for modern ani I love him sm

poorly edited ani with ugly tattoos and piercings but you get the gist ….. have some headcanons

minors + ageless blogs dni im so serious

♡ he’s always in your reach. whether he’s your best friends brother, the guy that works at the garage or tattoo shop, the guy in your lectures that shows up every few classes to sit at the back and chew on his pen whilst somehow knowing the answer to every question. he’s mysterious, but everywhere.

♡ you see more of his tongue that you thought you might. always peaking out to fiddle with the snakebite piercings below his rosy bottom lip when he’s concentrated, or bulging into his cheek when he lets out a sarcastic or pissed off chuckle when someone’s running their mouth. you overhear him speaking with a friend, instructing “just make your tongue flat if it’s too sensitive and more pointed if they need more pressure. i don’t fucking know, it’s not hard.” and you wonder if he’s talking about what you think he’s talking about.

♡ he takes interest in you because of your soft edges and kind eyes and well, the fact you’re his total opposite. he thinks it’s funny to sit on a plush pink duvet surrounded by ‘pointless’ throw cushions and decorative plushies and blankets whilst he’s dressed in all black with his chronic resting bitch face. okay, funny isn’t the word. he thinks it’s sexy.

♡ he’s a little mean but never cruel. grumpy would describe him more accurately. not a morning person, and shoots daggers at anyone who makes loud noises before 10AM. he’s teasing you and poking fun at you before he starts flirting with you properly because he just can’t help himself, bullying is how he flirts. but don’t get it twisted, once he’s in a relationship with you he is uncharacteristically the worlds biggest simp known to man.

♡ obsessive and possessive. you’re both aware it’s not his best trait, but you secretly like it and he knows that. his love language is essentially threatening to kill anyone who looks at you let alone lays eyes on you. if you’re ranting about your day and happened to tell him about someone giving you attitude, it would become very “you’re lucky i wasn’t there, would have beat the fuck out of him.” fast. will also shamelessly pull you closer to him when another guy looks at you, and side eye you with the worst attitude if you dare laugh a little harder than usual at a man’s jokes.

♡ always stuffing his dirty blonde curls under backwards caps, but let’s you take it off him so you can run your fingers through them at the end of the day. he’s a sucker for a head massage. will repay you by making you cum on his fingers.

♡ he’s the cool boyfriend. determined to win over your family even if his tattooed / pierced appearance is a concern. compliments your mothers cooking, talks about sports with your dad, bonds over video games with your little brother or buys your sister that thing she was talking about last time he saw her. even let’s your grandma pinch his cheeks and call him handsome (but if grandmas coming round, he wears long sleeves and takes out his piercings. anything for grandma.) if you don’t get on with your family, he becomes your family and practically kidnaps you into his own.

♡ wont let you pay for anything. respectfully, he does not care if paying is your love language— he was raised to pay for his girl and that’s what he’ll do, arguments be damned. he’ll take extra shifts to be able to spoil you, coming home with grease smeared on him from the garage, kissing your cheek before heading off to shower, transferring “a little something” to your bank account after you were rambling about that skims dress you wanted or whatever it was.

♡ constantly wearing sweatpants and looks damn good wearing them too. black sweatpants mostly, but he pulls out the grey ones when he’s trying extra hard to get laid that night. same goes for basketball shorts, walking around your apartment wearing them with no shirt on, no underwear beneath the shorts, thick and long length practically swinging around. he chuckles when you gasp and call him a slut.

♡ he plays basketball and soccer, always has. but his favourite pastime has got to be pool. he’s become a champion at his best friends pool table— bringing you round to showcase his effortless skill and teach you (mainly because he won’t pass up the opportunity to see you bent over a table and feel you up.)

♡ always needs your full attention when he speaks, so if your eyes drift off from him when he’s talking to you he won’t hesitate to gently grip your jaw and pull your face back to look at him. he’ll do it infront if anyone he doesn’t care, minus your parents of course.

♡ puts in the WORK during sex. he is competitive with himself, and a perfectionist — so he won’t be satisfied until he’s knows you inside out. this means he’s incredibly vocal, if he’s not asking you if you like what he’s doing (“that feel good, pretty? talk t’me i wanna hear you.”) he’s praising you for being responsive (“good girl, good fucking girl. i know baby, you like that shit huh.”)

♡ pussy eating king. will even wear the white tshirt with pink font spelling “PROUD MUNCH” across the chest when he goes out with you that you got him. thinks it’s funny yeah, but likes everyone to know you’re taken care of.

♡ listens to fuckboy music around the clock. when he picks you up in his car, best believe you can hear that brent faiyaz coming from a mile away. his taste is pretty broad though, he just loves the sexy r&b to be blasting when you’re being his pretty little passenger princess.

[mwoolf-art]

UNDER THE SAME ROOF

Kabru x Reader

Part 1

CW: NSFW/Soft Smut, MDNI

Notes: This started out as a ramble, sent it to a friend so I could get her opinions and this is technically the first fic I post anywhere that isn't a Discord server with my friends, so enjoy.

You two are friends, not really close at the beginning at least until you accidentally caught him stressing about something when he was alone and he thought nobody would see him unmasking and he was mortified when he saw you there and he would try really hard to both make you change your mind on that slip up he had and make sure you wouldn't go around talking about how you saw him losing it over him losing control over a situation he had planned out until you took him to a secluded place to talk things out and laugh about how silly it is for him to believe that you would think any less of him for catching him like that (not like it didn't make you feel more interested seeing more to him than just the perfectly nice pretty boy facade he puts up daily,) naturally he starts feeling more safe around you and you started to see more of him in your life.

And then you essentially had him move into your place with the intention of looking out for him after noticing his bad habits of not taking proper care of himself and it gradually made you worry about him and his own health, even if he tried to refuse at first but he gave in upon seeing how serious you were about it, you helped him move his own things and very verbally said "Damn, you live like this?" Upon seeing the disaster that is his place, he was definitely not staring daggers at you after hearing that.

From then on it's difficult for him to not be a part of your life and become acquainted with every single one of your friends or him taking you to hang out with his friends more frequently than before, and with the two of you naturally coexisting under the same roof also meant you arguing with him about his tendency to not pick up after himself and making sure he remembers to eat, while he scolds you over your bad sleeping patterns which ends with you laughing over how stupid the argument is because that's the reason you two are now roommates after all.

Just friends and roommates, nothing more, nothing less. With the two of you occasionally having silly little brawls that usually end with him pinning you down on the couch, but never go far from that and always end with the two of you just having a hearty laugh. (Not like Kabru has thought about just flat out taking you right then and there and make you writhe under him and memorize every single reaction you have over every little touch and tease.)

And the two of you will more often than not cuddle while watching movies or just enjoying a silent moment together. (Not like you have fantasized about having his mouth against yours and have his curls under your hands only to separate from the kiss and see him completely dazed and breathing heavily.)

Nope, absolutely nothing more than pure platonic friendship, there's nothing going on between the two of you.

Neither of you would get upset seeing someone else flirt with the other; Neither of you wanted to possessively get close to the other to keep that third person away from what you both thought was a simple good friend. You were just close friends who happened to know each other's weaker sides, darker thoughts and less appealing traits.

This was just another moment where the two of you were just jokingly wrestling each other after a small discussion over Kabru forgetting to have breakfast again and you not getting enough rest again, with the result being one of the occasions where you ended up being the one pinning him on the couch.

"Not fair, the back of my knee bumped against the couch." He complained while you laughed triumphantly on top of him.

"If it makes you feel better, you managed to drag me down with you... But I'm still the one on top and the victor!" You laughed again.

Which proved to be the wrong move since he now had entangled one of your legs with his and was firmly holding you against his chest,  "which still shows that without a slight disadvantage you would have lost, like always."

You writhed against him trying to free yourself from his tight snake like hold. "Hey! You sore loser let me go!" "You're not getting away without getting some rest first I can get something to eat later."

Yep, there was no getting away from this even if you tried to complain he would refuse to move unless you took a nap on top of him... not like you minded being this close to him and being held by him like this. The only thing to do was accept your defeat and close your eyes and before you knew it you were completely out with him following not long after.

The sun had already started to set when Kabru opened his eyes, your weight on top of him reminded him of what had transpired before he had fallen asleep, his eyes lazily traversing the structure of your sleeping face while one of the hands he was using to keep you in a tight embrace lifts up to gently caress the top your head.

It was much easier to have you like this while he did his best denying anything he may or may not feel for you, the person who took a single glance to his real self and didn't think any less of him, even if he thought it was funny how you thought he was being silly for trying to hide his more unpleasant side while you would obviously hold back your very own frustrated reactions. Like when you lost in a game against one of your friends, he could tell how much you wanted to stomp and roll around and cry tears of blood but you pretended to be happy for them winning, "sore loser" he chuckled to himself. Sure he was familiar with your reactions he still had a lot to figure out when it came to you in specific, which it's why he specifically memorized how you would act when you were genuinely upset or overwhelmingly happy, how you would kick your feet while reading your favorite books, how you would look like a scared deer when you were caught of guard, or how you would move around while deep in thought, or how you would look at him when he talked about a new person you had never even heard of.

He was in too deep when it came to you.

His mind kept going until it was abruptly stopped by soft noises and slight movement coming from you. Were you awake? No, you were still deep in slumber. He moved the leg he had tangled up against yours.

A soft moan.

His eyes widened as realization set in.

His leg was pressing against you...

More specifically his leg was pressing against your crotch and you were moving against it in your sleep. You were getting off on him in your sleep and he didn't know what to do, he could just let you continue and revel in the sweet noises you were making while occasionally moving his leg so you could get what your asleep self was seeking and take care of himself in the bathroom after waking you up. But he fears that would mean he was taking advantage of you in your sleep and it might lead to you breaking up your ties with him and not feeling safe around him.

He couldn't let that happen, he would hate himself for that. He had to wake you up and take the brunt of the embarrassment later.

"Hey," he shook you gently trying to wake you up, but your soft moans and whimpers continued to sound and dance in his ears while the friction of your body against his was making him start to get aroused.

"Hey, y/n wake up" he said a bit louder while still trying to get you to wake up. Your movements were starting to get a bit more erratic.

"Hey seriously, wake up!" your eyes slightly open fighting off sleep in a complete dazed with a blushed aroused face.

"Kabru...?"

Gods he wanted to have that face immortalized in his brain just to be able to recall it later for himself.

The flushed darkening look on his face was slow to register in your mind, why was he embarrassed? No, worried? You two were getting a lot closer just a moment ago...

The feeling of drowsy sleepiness slowly letting you go while your mind was starting to take in what was going on. He's worried about something... This is not a dream?

Your body finally came to a halt as you finally registered what was going on.

You were getting off to him in your sleep and having less than friendly dreams involving him and he was trying to wake you up.

Your face doesn't fail to show how mortified you were over the things your asleep self was doing just a moment ago becoming a raging red as you got off from him.

"Kabru-! I'm-"

You could not muster up the words you needed to apologize to him, what could you say to make up for this?

The only thing that you could do was to get up and run away to your room and try to hide from the embarrassment you were feeling in that moment.

This was it, the friendship you held so dear to your heart completely destroyed by your own stupid horny fantasies, while all Kabru could do was to lay on the couch and hide his face with his own hands trying to process everything that just happened and miss the weight of your body against his.

[itsabouttimex2]

May I ask

Which characters will include in the primal moon scenario ?

Essentially, whichever characters I can think of scenarios for- writing Monkiefam was pretty easy, because monkeys have complex hierarchies to draw from. I spent a while observing different species at a local zoo (they’re mean. God, they’re so mean.) and decided to write a fic based on the behaviors I saw. (I’ll post that video at the bottom!)

Despite their status as the lowest ranked member of the ‘troop’, Wukong sees Y/N as his biological child. He won’t listen to any arguments about the difference in age or species, no matter what evidence is presented to refute him. Macaque is seen as his ‘little brother’, their rivalry temporarily forgotten. (Though only on Wukong’s end.)

The Great Sage is just lucid enough to recognize MK as his cherished student, and tries to give him advice… but his mind is a little too muddled by viridescence to offer anything sound. He also accidentally enables the worst of Primal!MK’s traits by complimenting and comforting him whenever things go wrong.

He’s thankfully rather laidback about the whole thing, only getting violent when he feels that his ‘family’ or status are threatened.

Macaque returns to his long-forgotten docile demeanor, a remnant of his days as a member of the Sworn Brotherhood- though he tries to fight the shift. It butchers the simian’s pride to resume a position of submissiveness, especially now that it’s to two people- one of whom may well be a teenager. Also, he’s sincerely desperate for comfort and companionship, so he spends most of the week fighting himself to not participate in any bonding activities.

He’ll make a ‘rank-scaling’ attempt or two, only to get beaten down and potentially pushed behind even Y/N in terms of status if he does it enough.

Sun Wukong->MK->Macaque->Y/N is the troop ranking, and it’s pretty rigid.

MK is, uh… in a pretty rough state. He’s never had any preparation for the Primal Moon, thinking himself a regular human for almost the entire time that he’s been alive.

———————————————————————

Honestly, it’s Tang that gives me the hardest time! assuming we can call upon his cicada ancestry, he’s- got absolutely nothing. Female cicadas use their ovipositors to slice into thin branches many times, leaving clutches of eggs as they go- that’s about as far as parental instincts go for them, given that they and the males die soon after breeding. (The males, in fact, die pretty much directly after.) I guess I’d place him with Princess Iron Fan and Ne Zha as the ‘normal’ guys.

Pigsy is, as you know- a male pig. Who are notorious piglet-killers. Eating piglets, stepping on piglets, rolling over and crushing piglets- intentionally killing entire piglet litters to force females back into estrus- it gets pretty brutal. So I still haven’t figured out what I want to do with him for this story- though I imagine he’ll be aggressive/hair-trigger, with Tang being the one thing that holds him back.

———————————————————————

Mei was pretty easy to write, but I did a lot of research on Chinese dragons in order to keep my representation of her respectful. Dragons in the west are usually reduced to bloodthirsty beasts of pride and rage- creatures to be slain and overcome as monstrous final obstacles. This portrayal even dates back to Beowulf, with the dragon portrayed then going on to characterize many dragons that came after it. (For example, Smaug was based partly on Beowulf’s dragon, and partly on Fafnir- so if any others dragons are based on Smaug, then they too call back upon the original.

In Chinese culture, dragons are considered wise and powerful beings. They’re worshipped as symbols of prosperity and good luck, and considered very auspicious beings.

So, Mei seems more composed in this AU- but it’s all an act. Given the stigma that non-humans have on account of the Primal Moon, she spends a lot of time pretending to be something that she’s not so that no one ends up being afraid. Mei’s obsession with with Y/N primarily stems from their complete acceptance of who she is, inside and out. Instead of having to pretend to be dignified and wise and rational, she gets to be the real Mei. She can goofy and energetic with you, not afraid to roughhouse or throw hands.

———————————————————————-

For Bullfam, I think Princess Iron Fan very much would be the ‘only sane man’- if two things weren’t occurring:

1. Her husband wasn’t trying to talk her into having a second child and worshipping her every step, his tongue spinning crude admirations of her beauty and battle prowess.

2. Her son wasn’t clinging to her waist and arms, begging for validation and attention, futilely trying to drag her into his workshop to compliment his blueprints and machines.

So she has her boy (after some headpats and a little bit of buttering up) run off to the surface and snatch a suitably young human who’s been left unattended, imposing them as a temporary ‘second child’ and ‘younger sibling’… before getting attached. Even though they were supposed to be disposable, she works them into a more permanent fixture of her family.

Given that Red Son is the one who picks you out, he feels a special bond with you. Instead of being more aggressive or even prouder- Red gets clingy. His desire for love and respect comes to the forefront, leading him to latch onto Y/N as tightly as possible. Hugs, headpats, back rubs, hair combing- he wants affection in as many forms as possible. I like to think he temporarily grows horns during the Primal Moon, and that he really likes having them rubbed and polished.

And as for Demon Bull King… this man is already aggressive as hell and pretty damn tempestuous, seeing red at the drop of a hat. So, with very little inhibition as is, he’s the sort of demon hit hardest. Bull King’s mental faculties degrade by a touch or two, rendering him very animalistic. He’s the opposite of Mei here- she puts herself through a ton of suppression and training and it all pays off spectacularly. He actively leans into the instincts and new power the viridescence brings, reveling in a more bestial state.

So, while Y/N openly and freely gives Mei love and affection, they instead cower and hide from Demon Bull King.

He wants more kids. Wants to spend more time with his wife. Wants to fight and break and feast. And when Y/N is abducted brought home, his aggression outright doubles. This is kinda good, though- now he’s so protective that he’s pacing the fortress in hourly patrols, wearing himself out as he digs deep grooves into the earth, carving his sigil into the stones around him many times over, marking the territory as inextricably his.

And all he wants upon returning home is a nap- with his entire family piled onto the bed, of course.

———————————————————————

Also, if anyone has recommendations for how characters should act, I’d be happy to hear them!

[herejusttosufferalong]

Attachment Style Anon Here

I appreciate everyone’s comments on my last post regarding L/A. There was a lot more I could have added but I was worried it was too long… 

A few things I wanted to mention before I dive into L/N:

everyone has an attachment style, usually there is a combo but only one is dominate

There is a direct correlation between your attachment style and your personality traits 

Your attachment style can change after an impactful relationship (good and bad) 

I am a woman in STEM who researches behavioral styles and has been focused this past year on attachment styles (sorry if I come across clinical sometimes in my messaging) 

I wanted to understand why the chemistry between L & N seemed so 🔥 and intense in a way that we haven’t seen before.

I already established my thoughts on L’s attachment style in the last post. I’ll move onto N - my analysis of her is based on her personality traits and what she projects out into the world because of how little she shares of her private life. 

Overall, N’s dominate attachment style is Secure.I think it’s easy to see her secure attachment through her actions: i.e. her stable family life and the close bond that they clearly share, her ability to be private showcases someone who doesn’t need validation, general confidence in the way she presents herself, but ultimately its the way that other speak of her that showcases her secure nature. She had stated  in past interviews that she didn’t necessarily believe in love, gave some vague answers regarding her views on relationships etc. Speculation: at some point she was hurt by some type of relationship that temporarily that made her cautious of attachment in general, but ultimately her foundation is secure. 

A Secure person will essentially be compatible with anyone. The ultimate life goal is for a secure person to find another secure person, however the second most compatible relationship is a secure + anxious relationship (i.e. N + L = dominate attachments)

Surface level, they do gravitate towards one another because they are able to match each other needs. This is where I feel we see a “different Luke” when he’s with Nicola. He is different because his needs are being met when he’s with her and vice versa. 

Nicola’s verbal praise helps quell Luke’s fear of unworthiness. We have seen her time and time again, hype him up because she understands that he struggles with his anxiety. L’s strengths would be that anxious attachment people are very protective and are attuned to their partner’s needs. Nicola may be secure but she has emotional needs as well. Where we saw this was the interview where they watched the final scene and Nicola started to cry, they snuggled and he checked in with her. Also he checked in with on the Dublin red carpet. What he provides to her might be more subtle in terms of frequency but it’s impactful to her.  

The key to the success of this relationship is an establishment of a foundational communication level (i.e. verbal and non-verbal) - something that N + L have done probably subconsciously. We’ve seen a few BTS footage and interviews where they’ve said that they’ve been able to communicate with just looks. It think this along with their matching attachment style is where we see the actual magic - it’s that energy they put out of knowing each other so well that everyone around them feels their attuned energy. 

At the end of the day however, while the secure person has the ability to uplift an anxious person to a secure level, the opposite I also true. The secure individual tends to be the more dominate in the relationship and can hold more power within it. Luke will more than likely always be the best version of himself when he’s with Nicola, however unless he puts in the work to overcome his insecurities, the relationship won’t have any real legs. It would eventually becoming draining to Nicola. 

thank you anon for sharing

you were able to so succinctly express and give vision to my exact thoughts/feelings on their dynamic in a more academic way

💜

[revelisms]

New WIP has me deep in the emotional whumpzone (per usual)—so even more Ghost headcanons: Angst Edition. Because why not ❤️‍🩹

CW: Family dysfunction, parentification, negative self-image, anger issues, relationship issues, grief. Also some heartwarming-ish moments? Sorta kinda? (;-;)b

Primo

Faced the harshest transition within the church as the first successor to the new Order, having to meet both the old clergy's expectations as well as the standards Nihil, as part of his bargaining, had been pressured to achieve.

Also saw first-hand much of the darker underbelly of the church (e.g., murders caused by the ghouls, corruption in the clergy, etc.), which he tried to shield the younger ones from witnessing. It's not all champagne and caviar in these halls—especially at the top.

Has had few consistent lovers in his life, but has loved them all deeply. Getting beneath his surface-level affections can be challenging, though. He has a kind, nurturing presence with most everyone, especially those he likes to have around—but as a partner, he can be protective to the point of patronizing. Very cautious, at times condescending, and ultimately fearful of ever losing someone again. Loves like a dragon guarding a horde of gold, and can get just as ugly for it.

Didn't want to have to step into the role of essentially father and mother for the boys, but he felt he had to. There's a hardness to him, for that, and a sense of young adulthood that he's lost; he feels ancient in a way that's difficult to explain, and always has. There's very little of him that feels youthful anymore.

His love for gardening runs deeper than most take it for. He's always been interested in healing magick and herbal remedies, and it's an older field of study he gravitated to in his earlier days. He's been on the cusp of too many tragedies to turn a blind eye to it, now, and so this is his way of doing something. He sees himself as too old, too frail, and frankly too booksmart to do so, otherwise; it's an underlying resentment of his, after watching too many ritual acts go wrong.

Having the Sight of clairsentience (aka: seeing into the minds of living things) has made him a bit of a chronic skeptic. He has lost his trust in most things; the few that he keeps to are the realms of possibility and self-determination: that what he sees in one moment does not have to be Truth, overall. But it hurts, being cursed to know what others truly think and would wish to do, even if they won't voice it. He tries to stay kind, despite that.

Secondo

He was always an angry child, and wrestles worse with his frustrations as an adult. His spite and his rage have fueled him; in many ways, Wrath has been the one constant of his life. But it has broken countless relationships in the process, and created a reputation that most siblings fear.

He's a very bitter, armored man—and, as a result, can be a bit of an ass—but he's aware of it. (Unlike someone else. Grumble grumble.)

Despite their theoretical closeness in age (I HC a bigger gap here), and quite a few shared emotional traits, he and Terzo couldn't be more polar opposite. Since Secondo was unwantedly looped into Primo's surrogate parental role once he got older, he took the brunt of this with Terzo, who was hell to manage. He has a lot of regrets over this, and puts silent blame on himself (in fairness, more than he should) for Terzo not getting the support or affection he should have when he was younger. Their relationship has always been strained from this.

Daddy issues out the wazoo—and it's translated into most relationships (work or otherwise) he's had with authority figures, since. He's a beast to deal with, when it comes to the clergy; most members of the cloth will toss him straight to Nihil before they have to even think of handling him (which is disastrous, in itself; he's inherited much of Sister's traits when it comes to bickering Nihil into place, and their All-Father can't stand it...but c'est la vie).

In short: Hell forbid you share a table with these two. Copia and Nihil's mess is tame, comparatively.

Genuinely one big tender-hearted teddy bear beneath it all, but few are given the privilege to see it. He's a very romantic man stuck in a complacent chain of disposability, and he's made his peace with that. He's certainly not an easy person to love; being in a relationship with him is a constant yo-yo of moods that can explode at the drop of a pen—but with the right balance, with someone who can ground him, he could rival the poets of old with his lavishness. Roses and wine and sweets for days. (And kisses. Satan, don't forget those.)

Having the Sight of retrospection (aka: seeing the the past) has been both the root of his fascinations with history and, ironically, his complete disgust of those who claim to study it (...which he is, but anyway). It's also led to some hard wounds due to Primo trying to safeguard him from the darker nature of the church as a child vs. the realities he was forced to bear witness to once gifted the Sight. It broke a lot of his security in the doctrines, and his trust in Primo. As a result, he views their eldest, above all, as a liar and has learned to take the guidance he shares with a grain of salt.

Terzo

Was a very rambunctious, escapist-driven child, and it has led into him being a flippant, snide, and at times callously individualistic adult. However, this battles with his desire to be valued by others—most of all, to help someone feel better in themselves. He's incredibly kind and soothing, when he wants to be.

The mix of priorities can be puzzling. As much as he can be selfish in one moment, he would roll out of bed at 2am to conduct a blessing for an insomnia-riddled sibling of sin, without question (which is...other WIP shh). This can make it hard to know where one stands with him, and whether any special treatment they've seemingly been given is all that special, after all.

Can be extremely petty for the spite of it, often through comments that cut to the bone, but almost as frequently in performances he knows will pull eyes. Nihil and Sister are often the joint instigators of this, and it tends to trickle down, unfairly, into his treatment of Copia—though he knows it shouldn't. He's not proud of this, and attempts to curb it when he can, but in many ways his temper is a mirror to Secondo's own; once something sets him off, he can become fiercely cold and hurtful. Getting on his bad side is a vile place to be.

Has, for lack of a better term, a tightly controlled persona: almost impeccably funny, sly, and suave, especially once he's ascended into the papacy (and been put on a tightwire of clerical demands). Few have seen the quiet, withdrawn, fidgety side of him. Few, he doubts, would want to.

At his most fundamental, he is heavily driven by a need to feel seen, accepted and loved—but he's repeatedly sabotaged it once it's been given. The siblings dubbed him a "loose kite" well before his Cardinal days: someone without a tether bound to land wherever (and with whomever) he wants. Most are aware that he's an egregious flirt, and little else, and have learned to never take his affections too seriously—and, to an extent, that's exactly what he wants. On the other hand, he's shot himself in the foot with this: a self-fulfilled prophecy of nothing ever panning out (and one he fears ever panning out at all, as much as he wants it).

Having the Sight of premonition (aka: seeing the future) has been dual-edged. He's seen the beauty of his own future, and of select others, countless paths over—and, just as wickedly, their demise. Countess potentials, countless lovers, countless beings, countless deaths. It has never been a source of peace, for him; he can only know with certainty what may occur once he has taken the first step onto a bounded path. Starting the route to his Papacy was his only confirmation that he was doomed to fail—but, for years, he knew little else.

The biggest splint in his Path, always, was Omega. Saints and demons, it was always Omega.

Copia

You could fill a jar with the things this man would nitpick about himself—and still, he would nitpick more—but he is nothing if not a source of reassurance for any who have known him: both in his bumbling Cardinal days, and in the slow-sewn confidence he's found in his senior roles. One of the sweetest, if sweetly awkward, souls one could meet—but give him any passing compliment, and he'll scrape it under his heel.

For all he craves true praise, hungers for it, he is so hesitant to believe it. He has never felt good enough in his own skin. Not for Primo's success, not for Secondo's intelligence, not for Terzo's confidence. Certainly not for the clergy's standards. And Sister—Mother—well. He's never quite known how to untangle the dreams she poured into him from his own.

Was effectively the black sheep of the family for much of his youth, despite receiving more affection from Sister—which, in retrospect, only added to the resentments. He had always been seen as an other, most harshly by Terzo, who felt that his ability to even have a relationship with his own mother was squashed by Copia devouring her attentions.

Losing them all made it easier, in some ways. It had to be done. (Hell, he misses them. He misses them so much.)

Loving him can be an overwhelming experience. As a partner, he goes overboard on the regular (often, humorously, with disastrous results). It's challenging sometimes for him to realize he doesn't need to perform, in this; that he can just be. He hadn't taken the best cues from Terzo, in that—but who else could he have looked up to, but Terzo: who was beautiful, and desired, and bright as a star?

There's a cruel irony in that. Terzo had never quite opened up to his little brother—but if he would have, Copia would have only known how much they had in common: how much of their black-sheeped image-loathed performance-pillared suffering they'd shared. (But the past is the past, now. Copia can't think on that, too long.)

Having a belatedly repaired relationship with Nihil and Sister has been complicated for him. There's an unspoken attempt at correction, for their (seemingly) final and "true" heir—attempting to be a better father, a better mother, to be a family. He'd never quite had that, in all those years before. A part of him loathes that only now he's being given it.

The Sight of clairvoyance (aka: seeing the Bridge between realms) is strange sort of blessing, in this. They're all with him, always. Through life and death, through all of it. And perhaps that's what he'd always been meant to be—a homestead for those lost souls to gather; to live free again, if for a moment. He finds comfort in that, much as he can.

[animegirl3476]

Another day, another discourse comparing and contrasting Shoya and Shoko’s relationship in A Silent Voice with Katsuki and Izuku’s relationship in My Hero Academia.

At the end of the day, you’ll never get a 1:1 comparison with these two cases due to the fact that 1) They belong to vastly different genres, 2) One is far longer than the other and 3) One is a grounded character drama and coming of age tale.

But…

I think that A Silent Voice provides a fairly good basis for judging the way MHA handles the relationship development of two characters, where one used to bully the other and an arc of atonement occurs. More importantly, comparisons to A Silent Voice highlight the shortcomings of Katsuki and Izuku’s relationship development and allows me to understand and actually communicate what I don’t like about the way the story handles it.

In my opinion, what sets these two stories apart in the way they handle the atonement arcs of their respective bullies is the way they portray consequences. The big “C” word tends to elicit a hostile reaction from certain fans, who assume that your idea of consequences must necessarily involve the bully character being gratuitously punished and made to suffer as retribution for their past actions. But a consequence is just the “result or affect of an action or condition” and can range in severity, it can have many different effects.

A Silent Voice uses social consequences to prompt change from its main character. Shoya’s bullying results in him being shunned by his classmates and friends, and the story goes to great lengths to show how his actions not only hurt his victim, but that they also hurt people he cared about. His mom has to reimburse Shoko’s mom for the damaged hearing aids (when she is already short on money) for example. Furthermore, the knowledge of his past is something that impacts the way others perceive him, and that change in perception is essential to his arc.

More importantly, A Silent Voice makes it clear to the viewer/reader that despite Shoko generally being a kind and forgiving person, the bullying still hurt her deeply enough to leave a long lasting impression. Shoko is receptive to Shoya’s will to change, but the story doesn’t ignore that Shoko suffered greatly and that the bullying made her sad, frustrated and even angry. Her negative emotions are not overshadowed by her desire to see Shoya become a better person.

The thing that holds me back from enjoying Katsuki and Izuku’s relationship development is the lack of consequences Bakugou receives for his bullying (which is directly connected to the way the narrative denies Izuku both agency and introspection) The hard truth is that Bakugou faces little to no consequences for his past behaviour, and one would think that such a topic would have to be brought up at some point because, ya know…he goes to a hero school. A HERO school, a place where people train to be role models, help people on a large scale and protect those who cannot protect themselves.

The first scene we see with Bakugou depicts him as the opposite of a hero. A mean bully who beats up people weaker than him, and this is emphasized by the fact that he targets Izuku, who has no means of defending himself. Despite this, he gets into UA, which isn’t necessarily a problem because it communicates a major flaw in the system that cultivates heroes (Overlooking certain problematic traits in favour of innate talent and strength) BUT, the information that he used to be a bully never comes up among his classmates in any major or lasting way. We saw his classmates, and even his new friends discuss or think about how much they abhor bullying. The students of class 1A do not like it when people abuse their strength to pick on those weaker than them…yet that never seems to connect back to Bakugou’s past as a bully.

This issue is exacerbated by the lack of attention given to Izuku’s side of the story. In stories that involve the atonement or redemption of a bully, it is CRITICAL that the victim’s side of the story is treated as something equally important to the bully’s side. It’s not something that can just be overshadowed by the bully’s side, it must be focused on in order for the atonement arc to work.

It’s disappointing that Izuku lacks the introspection that Katsuki gets, and very unsatisfying that it effectively lets Katsuki off the hook for literally every bad thing he’s ever done. The ways the bullying might’ve impacted Izuku for the worst is hardly ever discussed because every time the narrative approaches the topic, it always pivots to Izuku praising Katsuki for the things he did right. This is a big problem, because it silences any discussion that focuses on Izuku’s feelings and shines the spotlight on Katsuki instead.

Before I end my little tangent, I also feel the need to say this: Pointing to any instance of Katsuki’s suffering throughout the series IS NOT EVIDENCE OF CONSEQUENCES! Any bad thing will happen to Katsuki and people will proceed to say: “SEE?! Did you see that?? Katsuki HAS faced consequences! How can you say that he never faced consequences for his actions? Why do you want him to suffer?” It’s so disingenuous and it’s a terrible argument that refuses to criticize the text.

[ladyorigami]

How do you feel about season 4

Bad. I feel reeeeal bad about season 4. LOL I hate it, actually-hate what they did to my boy.

Yes I'm always focused most on Five as a character, but I will say as a whole, the season is just...just a mess. They took away a lot of particular traits from the characters in order to sort of give this...shock value? Not sure that's the word, but in order for us to see how differently bland and miserable everyone's life is this time around, and to do that, they also just, sucked a ton of their characters out right with it. We also have no catharsis, no proper conclusion to the relationships and events of s3, and even though they carry that over, they don't actually give resolution.

The plot also just-and the ENDING-I...okay I need to round back to Five for a second. I'm going to ramble rant about Five for a bit PASSIONATELY so SPOILER ALERT AHEAD, don't read below this if you don't want to see me lay down a quick wall of text about The Boy:

It's not like I don't understand the 'why' of it.

Imagine spending the majority of your life in an apocalypse, eating bugs and learning how to harden your heart and kill as a child, all for the CHANCE at getting back to your family.

Throwing him back into that scenario is like...the mere THOUGHT of that makes me insane with all of the character exploration we could have had and then DIDN'T GET ANY.

Like I can't even fathom the sheer trauma he was going through once they got lost in that subway for more than a couple weeks. He's essentially in his personal hell all over again and this time it's without that hope of his family he had before. Of course he's going to cling to the one person who is there, of course they both would, it's been years. Trauma bonding exists and they both have a lot of it and yes, they are like with their rough edges and independence. So sure, I can understand the 'why' and 'how' of this happening (even if I hate it and it lowkey gives me the ick)

But we didn't even GET the character parts of that. We didn't get any trauma, didn't get any PTSD, didn't get any look into Five's mind and heart there in the subway. This really would have been a perfect opportunity to finally crack all of that wide open, because it's always been brushed off before. But nope.

Instead, an affair with Lila. A rushed sloppy timelapse and then they're a thing now and that's...it? Like the whole point of that was just for them to have this weird relationship and then they came back??

There's a time that he even SEES a younger version of himself in the same apocalypse and he reacts like he isn't even there.

This character who becomes lost without a purpose and is still searching for it, whose flame is uncharacteristically dimmed of the usual fire? Yes. I would like to explore that.

Like I said it's not even necessarily the issue that it could have happened in the beginning but it's his attitude after that really got to me. The entitlement he had to square up to Diego?? The entitlement he had to continue to cling around her when her family is there and the way he's acting...it's like it's just terrible to me.

When Five loves he loves with his whole heart, he devotes everything he has to the people he cares for but once upon a time that used to be his family and like hell if I think he would fist fight Diego for LILA. Diego his brother...Diego whose eyes warmed with such love and relief in the second season when he saw Five at that hospital. Five who sacrificed himself numerous times over to keep them safe.

I get the point is that Five is lost. That his family clearly can't give him what he needs and he's just in some ways given up trying for it. He's-tired and he just wants to rest and have something or someone that he can call his own...but that's definitely not going to be the wife of his brother???? rihgqoirgoais

I just can't swallow this attitude by him in the after bits-and I definitely can't come to terms with the fact that they basically planted him back into his personal nightmare and all that came from that was a rushed love affair. It puts a bitter bitter taste in my mouth he deserved this character exploration, he deserved to actually have his family go try and save him for once-fight for him-show him that they care as much as he's cared for them.

(There is NO slander being thrown to people who like this ship before or after s4, you guys like what you like and that's fantastic. I just have issues with the way it was all handled and I must rant passionately.)

[hysteriamodes]

The thing with the Alice x Bumby ship and people who support it not only don't understand the ramifications of what Bumby did to Alice and that it's pretty obvious he was continuing with his obsession with Lizzie.

Alice looks very much like her older sister and shares personality traits with Lizzie. So Alice would have ended up the same as Lizzie, assaulted and murdered. Because in terms of the type of serial offender Bumby is, the likelihood of him repeating the same crime was extremely high.

But also they don't understand that Bumby was not only targeting Alice but children, something that you can see in actual, real-life serial offenders like the Golden State Killer, Ted Bundy, or even Richard Ramirez. These were sexual sadists, Bumby is also a sexual sadist. Not to mention, Bundy worked in a suicide prevention call center so I don't know how you cannot draw the comparison.

So, I have had the term "anti" thrown at me, and normally, genuinely, I'm of the mind "I don't like this ship, so I'm not going to read it" because policing people over fictional ships is a waste of time. And I'll be the first to admit I especially hate this ship because I HAD several Bumbys in my life. I was sexually abused as a little girl, so I especially hate this character. And we do have several CSA survivors in fandom, they have had the same feelings. If you're writing a ship that mirrors our trauma, yeah, it's gonna piss people off. But I'm not gonna be mad enough to throw out death threats.

However.

And this is a big HOWEVER.

Largely, the biggest reason as to why I don't like it because anyone who dabbles in this ship cannot manage to keep it IC (in character). They fundamentally don't understand Alice's characterization:

1. Alice is an extremely guarded individual, literally anyone around her treats her like a burden, object, or belittle her sense of being.

2. It's highly unlikely Alice is going to romantically gush over someone, much less someone she put into a position of a mentor, so the swooning doesn't make any sense to me. If you're writing Alice in a romantic relationship, you have to keep in mind that it probably took a WHILE. When I write Alice in romantic relationships, it's a slow burn build up.

3. She likely is very reluctant to share the burden of her mental illness (unless slow burn, see above), so, again, Alice is not going to be the how to open up to people so easily.

4. Alice is extremely independent, most times. You can see she'd rather do it herself, without help unless it's a necessity, and she puts more trust in herself than in people. So, it wouldn't make sense for Alice to open up to Bumby, a doctor, outside of a patient.

And like. These shippers tend to "woobify" Bumby. He's not gonna be chivalrous.

1.He's a sociopath, so his empathy is non-existent. He didn't see Lizzie as a person, he saw her as an object he was entitled to.

2. He showed little regard to Mr. Liddell, his superior, someone he kept going to see, as his mentor. He exploited that dynamic only on the account of Lizzie.

3. The man has a superiority complex, so he won't see anyone as his equal. His ego was too big and he was so full of himself and he underestimated Alice (like everyone else) and doesn't care for her, at all.

So, every time I see this ship pop up, these characters are so woefully OOC (out of character) and that shows me you didn't understand the source material.

If you're into a dark ship, that's fine, but you're essentially re-writing characters so far from the original source material that they may as well be your own characters. You can find a dark ship with Alice, but pick someone better than Bumby. Like, guys, Bumby would have done the same thing he did to Lizzie to Alice and Alice found out at the last minute before he had the chance.

Just saying as an Alice RPer.

[takaraphoenix]

One thing I hope is yet to come in s3 is Gorgug interacting with his biological parents.

Finding his bio dad was such an important thing to him in s1, and then he actually did find his bio parents, but we have yet to explore their dynamic.

I fully get why it didn't get explored in s2, there was So Much going on and they were out on their quest for the majority of that campaign.

But this season, they are home. And especially with Gorgug's s3 plotline so far essentially boiling down to nature (barbarian class and his naturally born rage that he inherited from his bio parents) vs nurture (artificer class and the tinkering he learned from his adopted parents), and how he is being told from teachers on both sides that he can't do both, it's never been done before and he will fail if he doesn't choose one.

This just screams for an exploration of his relationship with his biological parents and him learning more about their family. It'd also be interesting to see their dynamic with the Thistlesprings.

Because he doesn't have to chose. Even when he was looking for his bio dad, that was never about choosing his birth parents over his adopted parents, it never came from a place of not loving the Thistlesprings and wanting something "better".

It always came from a place of otherness, being so very very different from his very loving adopted parents and wanting to understand why. That maybe, if he found his birth parents and saw similarities, physically and behavioral, he might understand these traits in himself better.

To me, it always read as a quest of self finding and self acceptance.

And right now, where he is so actively trying to forge his own path, trying to figure out who Gorgug Thistlespring could be, it would be really satisfying to see him actually get to know the parents he spent all of freshman year looking for.

[lets-try-some-writing]

Silence is Salvation

None know where the Angels of Death came from, but when they broke free from the earth, there was no stopping them. Now millennia after the fall, Cybertron is split in two. Those with wings life safely in their floating city, unable to be touched by the Angels which roam the ground. Those with wheels on the other hand were left to perish, to serve as prey for the abominations that all Cybertronians.

In this new age, only silence is salvation, and Orion Pax has only one goal. He will find a way to defeat the angels for the sake of all their kind.

(This is the first chapter of an AU I have been cultivating quietly. I decided to put it here to gauge the reaction to it. Hope you all enjoy :D)

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Orion Pax was the designation given to him upon his creation. He did not know who his Carrier was, nor his Sire. But according to the others, he did not have either since he was one of the last grounders who emerged from the Well of Allsparks, a final wave of hopeful newsparks not yet adapted to survive in their deadly world. Others of his generation perished almost immediately, and Orion would have been part of the unfortunate masses if not for the appearance of the Patriarch. 

Orion was lucky. He was part of what his fellows called 'The Line of Primes', a legacy all those who served under the Patriarch shared that secured their futures. He did not understand when he was young, but he did know one thing, a simple but essential lesson.

Silence is salvation.

He had few memories of his early sparklinghood, a not uncommon trait amongst those who were born of the Well. However the beginning of his life stuck with him and never faded, usually haunting him during the loneliest part of travels. 

He recalled climbing and hearing the sound of things that his coding instinctually told him were not of his kind. He remembered pulling himself out and watching in silent horror as those who came alongside him were slaughtered by long limbed creatures without features save for their deadly maws. He only escaped the devastation by pure happenstance. A piece of rubble was just large enough for him to hide beneath as the creatures wreaked havoc. 

There was a moment of salvation during that formative cycle. As Orion huddled in fear beneath the rubble and watched through a crack the absolute carnage playing out before him, he saw something nearly angelic. Beings he knew to be Cybertronian flew overhelm, their wings glittering in the light of the nearest star like a promise of sanctuary. Orion almost left his place as he saw them dive toward the ground. They had to be there to help him, maybe even to kill the creatures.

That was what his younger self assumed. He was dead wrong. 

The flight capable Cybertronians did not stop the slaughter. Instead, they dived and scouted, watching the sparklings being killed and devoured. Only once they seemed to have gotten enough data did they twist and glide toward the ground, their thunderous engines catching the attention of the creatures and leading them away. Once the creatures took off in chase of several of the flyers, two landed and transformed, their bodies shining and their plating all but glowing as the light bounced off them.

Orion remembered calling out, small cries coming from his vocalizer as the flyers wandered and looked over each sparkling, the living and the dead. However, as the young gathered around the flyers, looking up at them with optics shining in hope, Orion remained hidden. Something deep in his coding told him that leaving his hiding place was a death sentence despite the fact that fellow Cybertronians stood mere meters away. 

He was right in following his code.

The flyers looked over each and every sparkling, disregarding all save for those who bore wings just as they did. The grounder sparklings wailed in confusion as the flyers scooped up the four sparklings gifted with wings and returned to the skies, their thrusters causing the little ones to fall to the ground coughing up dust and soot. Then, just like that, the flyers that led the creatures away could be seen joining their brethren in the air, shooting off into the distance without so much as a moment of hesitation to consider the dozens of other sparklings abandoned on the ground.

There was no salvation for those poor sparks, and Orion could only watch as they were left to their doom.

Bodies littered the ground, energon spilled from lifeless frames, and limbs lay strewn about the scene as if some sort of grizzly decoration. Orion was too young to fully understand what he was seeing at the time, but he knew that leaving his hiding place and making any noise at all would lead the things to him. The creatures came running the moment his fellows cried out in terror at being left behind, and they did not hesitate to eliminate the young grounders. Even the fastest of his fellows had been caught and cut down the moment they screamed. Orion was not gifted with swiftness, he was not blessed with agility. There was nothing he could do but hide and remain silent.

His decision to remain in his hiding place saved his life, and on that cycle he learned a very harsh truth. The world he was born into was not one that loved him and his kind. Only those graced with wings were seen as living beings worthy of being saved. Despite that-

Not all hope was lost.

He did not know how long he lingered in his place beneath the rubble, too frightened to move and terrified for his life. But at some point, he heard noises beyond the confines of his small haven. On instinct, he looked through the crack in his hiding place fully expecting to see another creature prowling around the bodies of the dead to consume them or to note their status and select a new direction to continue its hunt. Instead, Orion all but cried in relief as he saw someone just like him. The Cybertronian had no wings, instead possessing a cape and a sturdy frame fitting of one intended to govern over the ground. A smile graced the features of the one who shared his frame type and Orion managed a sniffle, too afraid to do much else.

"Come. It is safe." Orion never moved so fast in his short existence as he scurried from his hiding place and into the arms of his savior. He knew what the words meant from his inbuilt datapack, but it mattered very little to him. All he cared about was the simple fact that he was safe in the arms of a being that felt like family. From that point onward, his memory of his early life devolved into a mix of emotion, sights, sounds, and smells. But he was aware of the arms that carried him, constantly hushing him when he tried to make a noise. Steady servos that fed him energon shards that caused his tanks to hurt for his first few vorns of life. And soothing fields that washed over him, calming him on dark cycles when the creatures roamed nearby.

At some point, he learned to whistle instead of speak. Noise that was unnatural brought the creatures, and that could not be allowed. Eventually, his savior and the dozens of others who shared his similar features and colors showed him how to speak with his servos through gestures and symbols. He learned that his vocalizer was unneeded in the face of far safer communication and it did not take him long to adapt to the new method of speech, no matter how much it went against the coding he was created with. When he was old enough, he was taught to express himself with his EM field, ensuring his emotional outbursts remained completely silent. The creatures could not sense their fields after all. It was their one true safety blanket.

Silence was his reality, noise brought death.

When he had completely learned to communicate in the various ways of his comrades, he was able to continue his education. He became aware of the fact that his savior had a designation. The one who saved him was called Alpha Trion, a designation only whispered by his fellows when they were near sources of natural sound which covered their murmuring. It was at that time that he also learned the names of his fellows and was able to tell them his. Up until that point he had only been referred to by a specific gesture as a way to ensure he was able to be set apart as an individual while also not requiring speech. That suited him just fine, and he actually preferred the silence.

Of course during those hushed moments by plasma pits and oil springs, Orion Pax was told stories of the old world and given gifts far greater than most of his frame type would ever receive.

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"We are the last of the Well Forged." One of his fellows, a young mech perhaps a millennia old who operated under the servo gesture 'Little-Bird' spoke up amidst the hiss of the oil spring nearby. His voice was deep and echoey, a side effect of only speaking when absolutely required. His frame was gaunt and thin, hardened by cables long since toned by continued exertion and covered in scars from many vorns of receiving injuries without plating to protect his protoform. Even still he pulled datacables from their sockets on his armorless frame and smiled as he extended them, testing their abilities as he continued.

"We are remnants of the old world, the only keepers of ancient knowledge. They once called mecha like us Archivists. In the old world, we guarded and tended to great citadels of knowledge where information from all over the world was stored." Little-Bird spoke with awe in his voice, a reaction Orion shared. Little-Bird's protoform strained as he reached out for Orion, every cable and wire visible on his body as he worked. To Orion it looked cold, but he knew it would not be long before he too would need to shed his armor to remain silent while moving. 

"There are not many of us, but we have one goal." Little-Bird's datacables slipped into a socket on the back of Orion's helm, connecting directly to his processors. It was uncomfortable the first few times his fellows fed him data in this way, but every time he grew more used to the process. Already Bright-Fire, Tall-One, and Smoke-in-the-Wind had offered their collective memory and knowledge. Orion knew more with every upload, and each time he saw more glimpses of the world that came before.

Every Archivist carried the data preserved from the fall of their world. Upon death, that knowledge was downloaded by the remaining Archivists to be given to the next generation to preserve. Orion had never had to collect what remained of the dead personally, but more than once in his short life he witnessed the frames of the fallen, abandoned after being shredded by the Angels. Often the abominations did not even want fuel, merely a chance to hunt without aim.

"We have been ordered to preserve the knowledge of the old world and use it to find a way to defeat the Angels, no matter the cost." Little-Bird's fists clenched in anger as he uploaded his data. Memories flowed into Orion's mind, showing him images of cities glittering gold and offering data from all sorts of seemingly unconnected sources. More knowledge than he could ever use was dutifully filed away in his processors to be tended to until he had need to call upon it. 

It hurt to have so much put into his helm all at once, but he understood Little-Bird's anger as he also received memories of the fallen that Little-Bird had collected from the bodies of the dead. Dozens of other Archivists, ones Little-Bird had been raised alongside, all eliminated. Each were cut down by Angels or torn to pieces by raiders, as was common amongst those who lived on the ground. 

More memories greeted him as Little-Bird’s anger transferred over. Little-Bird had not lived to see the fall of the old world, but the memories garnered from that time had endured. In front of his optics Orion saw cities, shining and powerful, all reduced to rubble as Angels of Death broke free from the ground like some convoluted version of a sleeper agent and proceeded to slaughter all in range. He saw countless mecha cut down, torn to pieces as the Angels rampaged. Mech, femme, and sparkling alike were slaughtered with equal prejudice. 

It was all so loud, so… wrong. The old world was bright and noisy, filled with color and life. Then over the course of a few memory files, shells were dropped, bombs launched, and everything fell silent as survivors fled and the Angels endured. Orion did not wish to believe it. How could he?

“What caused the old world to crumble?” Orion questioned softly, not wanting to aggravate his fellow Archivist more than necessary. Little-Bird looked up, his expression softening into something more akin to sorrow rather than rage. Through their connection, Little-Bird must have sensed his denial as he calmly picked Orion up, placing his small frame on his lap. 

“The Angels came, freed from where they lingered in stasis underground. They have no thoughts, no sentience. They are merely creatures that destroy and hunt us regardless of whether or not they require fuel.” Little-Bird ran his digits along Orion’s helm, easing the nervous flutter of his spark and smothering his fears in the comfort of clan bonds. 

“Millions perished, and those who did not quickly learned to survive… save for those with wings. They did not struggle like the rest of us. They merely fled to their floating city, abandoning the rest of us to the Angels.” Bitterness seeped into Little-Bird’s voice, memories of an Archivist begging for aid from a flier only to be denied repeated in Orion’s processors. 

"Those in Vos have done nothing to save us despite the fact that they have the power to act. We can only rely on ourselves." Little-Bird scowled as Orion was given memories and data about the flying city. When the world fell, only those who had wings were able to escape the devastation by fleeing to the floating city of Vos. Grounders, those not blessed with the ability to grace the skies, were left to rot and serve as prey for the Angels of Death. There were reasons according to the data Orion was given. Too many mecha living in the city would be unsustainable, an understandable reason to be picky about who to save.

But that was not their greatest sin. No, the reason all of grounder kind hated those who were blessed with wings was quite simple. Not only could they flee from and lead the Angles away, they had the ability to give grounders the chance to collect energon in peace and save their sparklings from death. They did not need to live in the last shining city of the old world, all grounders needed was help. 

Help that they had been denied time and time again for the simple fact that it was inconvenient for the high and mighty flyers. 

"This life is a dangerous one Orion Pax, but we do it for the safety of all our kind. If we cannot find a solution, then we need to be ready to preserve our history so that hopefully, others may use our wisdom to end the threat." Little-Bird grasped Orion's shoulder, a determined glint in his optics. Orion nodded as the data upload finished and he laid down to process it. The last moments of Archivists killed by numerous threats played out in his mind as data was filed away. He tried not to listen to the screams as he focused on adjusting.

It would fade with time, and when it did, he would learn from the mistakes of his elders. Death was common on the ground, but it was also sacred. Every death offered wisdom and insight that could be used by others. No death was meaningless, regardless of how hard it was to see the last agonizing moments of those who did not have Primus's favor.

Knowledge was power. An Archivist could not afford to lack any of it. 

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Orion grew in the quiet, never uttering a word as he graduated from being carried on the backs of one of his fellows to walking on his own two pedes in response to his increasing knowledge. That was when his education changed yet again. He had long since learned to communicate without so much as a peep, but moving in silence was a whole other matter. He was a hazard to his clan and it showed with how often Alpha Trion needed to wield his relic to keep the Angels at bay. 

Neither Orion nor the others knew exactly what Alpha Trion was or why his Covenant kept the Angels away, but they did not feel the need to know. So long as they remained close to their leader, he could open his great book and extend his field and the Angels would simply be unable to locate them or otherwise flee. 

Usually, Orion and his clan kept far away from settlements built around natural sources of sound. They did not like to be involved in the politics of the gangs and other such organizations that ran those areas. Often their travels took them through the remnants of cities where their duties included hunting for anything of the old world still salvageable. Sometimes that meant taking memories from the dead if their frames were not too damaged. In other instances that entailed going through highly dangerous areas filled with finicky technology that could make any number of noises in order to get to relics and items of interest.

Whatever they did, it was always a gamble. 

Orion was quick to learn how to stalk quietly. His fellows all shed their armor once they reached younglinghood since by that point it grew too bulky and noisy to be kept. Thus, Orion followed their example. With the help of his comrades, his armor was cut away and he was left in just his protoform. His inbuilt weapons which had only just begun to come online were swiftly shut down and Orion was taught to vent manually instead of running his fans. Cool air had to be cycled through his intake instead of his vents and heated air had to be released the same way. He struggled greatly to regulate his temperature as he adjusted, often passing out for the first few stellar cycles.

But his fellows were patient, and Alpha Trion was willing to stop so that Orion could train in the art of silent steps. It took him time, and he was never as quiet as his fellows. However eventually he managed to achieve a degree of silence in his steps that at least ensured he wouldn't die the moment he put his pede down too hard. Regulating his temperature manually became second nature and before long Orion was ready to receive his first and only augment, the one every grounder got as soon as they learned the art of silence normally.

Never before had he actually been to a settlement for more than a swift pass through to collect energon. But to receive his augments, he was taken to the only doctor Alpha Trion trusted with his Archivists.

━━━━━━━━━━━━

"How old is he?" The doctor, known as Ratchet in the spoken tongue, asked as he readied his tools. 

"Nineteen vorns. He has completed his preliminary training and is ready to begin his advanced survival training as soon as his augments are in place." Alpha Trion replied from where he held Orion's servo. The Patriarch liked to be with each of his Archivists when they got their augments, and that Orion was thankful for. His fellows were not subtle in making it clear that receiving his augments was going to hurt like a glitch.

"Never one to waste time are you?" Ratchet remarked with a hint of sass in his tone. Alpha Trion said nothing as Ratchet sighed and collected a series of saws.

"I haven't been able to make more anesthetic. I cleared out my old clinic vorns ago and I don't have the tools to produce new compounds without attracting the Angels. This will hurt." Ratchet was blunt as he held up the saw. Orion's optics widened and he bit his derma as he looked up at Alpha Trion in fear. He was no stranger to pain since removing his armor. Protoform took time to harden and be capable of taking a hit without causing severe damage. Even still, a saw to his legs…

"All will be well Orion Pax. These augments are the first of many trials you will endure, but these changes will serve you well." Alpha Trion's field brushed over Orion, calming his spark's nervous spin. He vented deeply through his intake, just as he had been trained in order to calm himself without sound. Then after a moment of readying himself mentally, he nodded. There was no need for words.

"I will try to keep this as quick as I can." Ratchet alerted before his saw descended on Orion's right leg.

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Ratchet kept his promise that cycle. Having performed the surgery countless times before, the process only took a joor. Despite that, Orion was left bedridden for several cycles afterward as his new legs healed and his various minor augments settled. 

When he could stand again, Orion had to relearn how to walk all over again. Having legs like that of a cyber-feline was not exactly comfortable after spending all of his sparklinghood with the leg structure of the average bipedal. A reinforced jaw was also new, along with claw attachments on his digits and heightened senses. However, when he rejoined his fellows, he found that the augments were indeed a huge boon. 

He was able to easily stalk as his comrades did now that his legs were restructured to grant him greater stride and a larger distribution of his frame weight across the ground. Running on all fours was now also possible due to the claw attachment, giving him the ability to climb and run like a mech-animal without damage. Keeping up with his fellow Archivists was no longer a chore and rather a joy. Silence was his specialty and he greatly enjoyed the freedom his newfound speed offered him. There would still not be any escape from the Angels if they caught him, but at least like this he could travel faster than before.

His reinforced jaw allowed him to finally learn how to find and extract energon as well. Little-Bird and Gold-Sky had more than a bit of fun watching him try to scratch away at energon deposits, collecting as many scrapes as he could without alerting any Angels. They had far less fun when he broke off a whole energon chunk by accident and Alpha Trion had to use his Covenant to ward off the Angels. 

Still, he learned. His heightened senses finally let him notice the things his comrades did. His legs gave him speed and silence he never had before, and his jaw at last let him eat without someone else needing to hunt for energon for him and crush the crystal into something consumable. He was no longer a sparkling.

Fully recognized as one of the number of Archivists, Orion Pax spent a few more vorns traveling with Alpha Trion and receiving data uploads until he had all of the old archives within him. But all things had to come to an end, and eventually there came a cycle when Alpha Trion looked over the Archivists he had led so dutifully for vorns on end and bid them all farewell. It came out of the blue for Orion, but the elder Archivists seemed to expect it when Alpha Trion sat with them one final time and gave each of them a data upload from his own processors to ensure they lost nothing and were able to preserve what they gained. 

"Why is he leaving us?" Orion whispered his question to Little-Bird, the one who had become a mentor to him over the vorns. Little-Bird merely patted him on the helm fondly and watched Alpha Trion complete another data upload with an Archivist.

"It is the way. When we are grown and ready to set out on our own, Alpha Trion will give us our final data upload and we are to scatter and search on our own." Orion's finials perked at the information. This couldn't be right. Was it not more effective to travel as a clan? They were family, and together they had strength. 

"I do not understand." Orion murmured as Alpha Trion came nearer.

"You will. We all do eventually." Little-Bird assured before standing and wandering off to another group of Archivists preparing to leave. Evidently, they had decided to stay together once Alpha Trion dispersed them.

"Orion Pax, last forged Descendant of the Thirteenth born of the Well of Allsparks." Alpha Trion listed his full title as the Patriarch knelt down to Orion's level. The Covenant sat on Alpha Trion's hip comfortably as he took Orion's servos and rubbed circles onto the front with his thumbs. Such a small gesture, and yet Orion wanted to cry all the same. This was farewell. He had never truly been alone his whole life. 

"Do not fear that which lies beyond. Ahead of you is a future filled with joy. You need only seek it out and endure the trials that come with it." Alpha Trion's datacables slid from their sockets and into Orion's with ease. Orion relished in the feeling as Alpha Trion scoured his processors, making minor alterations to ensure nothing Orion learned was lost.

"Travel to the old City of Iacon. Search for the Matrix of Leadership. There you will find what you need." As Alpha Trion pulled away, Orion almost wept at the loss of connection. However, he stayed strong as the Patriarch moved onto the next Archivist in line. He had a mission now.

Iacon was on the other side of the world and was by far one of the largest cities on the planet. It would be a nightmare to comb through, but he would search. His records had a great deal to say about the Matrix of Leadership. Such information would surely be needed if and when he located the relic.

━━━━━━━━━━━━

'Orion Pax. What are you doing here?' Ratchet signed as Orion walked into his clinic. The Medic was always on the move, it was quite a pain to track him down. But Orion was not going to be wandering into any cities without someone to repair him on call. His fellow Archivists had fallen too many times not to death by the Angels, but instead due to injuries long left untreated as a result of having no friends or clan.

Archivists were known for traveling alone. Orion had no such interest in doing the same. Success would come to him with the aid of others, this he knew from his time with the Archivists.

'I come with an offer.' Orion signed back as he put down a series of tools he managed to bribe off a fellow Archivist before they went their separate ways. Ratchet's optics blew wide as he saw the tools, all in pristine condition. Orion was not sure where they were found, but any medic would kill to have such tools, that much he knew. Without the means to make more equipment, at least without Vos getting involved, all tools were valuable and knowledge sacred.

'What do you want?' Ratchet questioned, his servos hesitating and his field extending in suspicion. Orion did not begrudge him that as he smiled and bowed slightly in respect. Politeness was always the correct course of action with those who were to hopefully become a clan.

'I wish to travel and explore the cities, but I cannot do so alone. Too many of my fellows have died due to lack of practical knowledge and medical care.' Ratchet remained on guard but gradually seemed to come to some sort of calm as he took the tools and examined them. He took his time and Orion did not rush him as the medic looked over the offering. These sorts of agreements were sacred and took time.

'You wish for me to join you in your wanderings.' Orion nodded once and Ratchet returned the gesture, both understanding the other.

'We will stop at every settlement along the way so that I may tend to those in need of repairs.' Ratchet put forward his demands and Orion almost allowed his shock to show as he nodded. Such reasonable terms were all but unheard of, especially among those as highly regarded as medics. Still, he would not question such a gift.

'That is more than agreeable.' Orion smiled and Ratchet took a moment to think before he did the same. They reached out and shook servos, agreement filtering through their fields. They would not be clan for some time. Those bonds were slow to form, but as it was, they had the beginnings of a family. All clans started with deals, as was the nature of the surface.

'Then I will gather my things and we can prepare to set off. I would recommend a guide however. A mech who knows the area and has connections would be valuable.' Ratchet suggested as he began to collect his small assortment of items. Medics tended to travel light.

'I believe I have a mech in mind.' Orion assured as his processors kicked into action, providing him information about local guides. He and his former clan hired the services of one particular mech enough times to prove he was trustworthy. If he could be found, he would be instrumental in the success of Orion's mission.

'And who would that be, young Archivist? Your kind do not tend to associate with settlements enough for me to believe you truly know what you are talking about.' Ratchet raised an optical ridge and Orion merely smiled again. 

'I am unlike my kin. I wish to form a clan to travel alongside. With that in mind, I was thinking of the guide known as Jazz. He has aided my former clan on occasion.' The medic paused, thinking as he put the last of his things into his pack. He seemed skeptical before he appeared to recognize the designation and signed back his response, only seeming a little exasperated.

'That one will be nothing but trouble... but his skill is undeniable.' Orion grinned and Ratchet shook his helm. He had a feeling things were going to end up alright in the end. He just had to get to Iacon and find the Matrix. Then he could figure out everything else.

In the worst case scenario, he would at least get a good relic out of the mission and hopefully some clanmecha as well.

[ghoulorghost]

I think the main difference between the Antari lies in the way they perceive both themselves as people and themselves in relation to their magical ability.

Delilah Bard found out she was Antari when she was 19 years old, a period of time in which her character had time to develop. She was her own person, with desires and a purpose, long before she made this discovery. She defined herself as a thief and wannabe pirate, before anything else, and this new talent certainly didn't make a difference , her choice being to wield it the same she would a blade.

Holland Vosijk acquired the title of Antari when he was 8 years old. At that point in time, in spite of or maybe because of the way he was brought up, he already viewed his existence as important, his conflict with both his brother Athos and later his first lover Talya proving that.

His encounters with Ros Vortalis strengthened the care he held for White London, but also gave him the purpose of bettering it's fate.

His time spent bound to the Danes did not diminish his sense of self and his desires, but actually fostered them.

And while Holland did seem to consider his position as an Antari a curse, due to the way others sought to use him, I feel like he did not intend to die, just favored it over the alternative.He also recognised the magic's usefulness as a means to an end.

Delilah and Holland are alike in that sense. Both of them view their magic as a component to what they perceive their own person to be.

On the other end of the spectrum, we have Kell, whose memories begin from the moment he was discovered as an Antari.

He didn't have the chance to separate himself from this label, he was essentially the label, first and foremost.

Kell was valued and forced into certain predicaments as a consequence of receiving it.

He's grown up learning to associate his worth to his magic, all the while resenting what he was given as a result of it, which he perceived as unfair. I'm convinced he also subconsciously resented the people who viewed him this way and taught him to view himself this way. He felt and was told he was being ungrateful, and ended up feeling guilty and resenting himself for even thinking such thoughts and experiencing such emotions in the first place.

Instead of it being a talent he could make use of, it became something he was used because of, feared because of and coveted because of. It's become his defining trait.

Both his biological mother and father elected to give him up in exchange for his mother's freedom and a sum of money.  They didn't value him as a person, they saw value in this specific characteristic he had, and used it to their advantage.

His adoptive parents, the king and queen, viewed him as means to keep their enemies at a safe distance, as a method of communication with other Londons, and as prince Rhy's protector.

Rhy must've been the only person who saw Kell as something else, as a brother, as an individual, and even he had his flaws, not willing to recognise what the people he loved did.

The times Kell did attempt to exteriorize other attributes and desires, ended with him being punished. He desires to have more to himself than his magic.

Feeling stuck is what caused him to act recklessly, to do things he wasn't supposed to, and to keep them to himself.

The arrogance he displayed seemed like a front, a way to feel less inadequate.

He won both the coat and a multitude of baubles through gambling, and while it's not specified for how long he'd been doing this, he was wearing a red coat, the coat?, the first time Holland met him, at 13 years old.

He smuggled, traded and collected trinkets, to feel like he had something of his own for once, something he wasn't offered just because of his status, his magic. He'd tried to define himself through the objects he gathered.

This habit of his, which frankly sounds more like an addiction, was the cause of his encounter with the Black Stone. The Black Night, Rhy's death, Holland's death and consequent return, and Osaron, all occurrences that followed.

This series of events ended with him shattering his magic beyond repair, losing what he and most others thought of as himself. Suddenly he became nothing, useless, and everything attributed to him because of it didn't fit anymore.

He's displayed a carelessness in regard to his life, multiple times across the years, his tie to Rhy being the main thing keeping him alive.

He'd have been willing to go to Black London, was resigned to the idea for most of the first book, but his binding to Rhy made him reconsider. I think he also really believed Holland so close to death he wouldn't have survived the trip and wouldn't have suffered.

The same could be said about him planning to offer himself as bait to Osaron. If Holland hadn't taken over the role and his brother wasn't in danger of dying, he wouldn't have thought twice about doing it.

Kell confirmed he would have taken his life the moment he came to the conclusion that his magic wasn't coming back, had he not considered Rhy's life more important than this inclination.

He doesn't see value his life beyond it benefiting others.

It also seems as if he becomes someone else everytime he's redefined. He's been Kastion Laros, K.L., Kell Maresh, Kell, Kamerov Loste, Kay, and multiple other people over the course of his life. I do think they're all sides of him.

Now, with his magic mostly healed, he's back to playing Kell Maresh.

But I'm not convinced he's learned to value himself yet, just reverted to a state he views himself valuable in. Though I hope by the end of the series he'll figure himself out.

[somebluemelodies]

really really really long ramble ahead about q!Foolish's federation situation bc i have thoughts. you've been warned :'D

(below the cut!)

i cannot get over how much shit could hit the fan with this whole q!Foolish situation. literally so many relationships could hinge on how things play out

firstly, we have no idea how q!Pac and q!Mike are going to react to q!Foolish when they see him next (likely tomorrow, as per what cc!Pac said at the end of the Tazercraft stream). they might get mad and take revenge, maybe try and use him to find and rescue Walter Bob... etc, etc. q!Foolish wants them to be released (little does he know...) and he hopes to still be friends with them even tho they may not want the same, but he really has no true idea what he's gotten himself into...

i don't think their relationship will ever be the same regardless of what info comes out, but that's essentially just the tip of the iceberg

what i'm most curious about personally is q!Cellbit (and q!Forever) finding out about how he lied about Richas's life being on the line. because i already know that ain't gonna end well. both q!Cellbit and q!Forever are fiercely protective of Richas. q!Cellbit absolutely despises liars and he already threatened q!Foolish while interrogating him

q!Cellbit places a lot of trust in q!Foolish. we saw that in how they bonded when q!Foolish was constructing the castle, and how q!Cellbit wanted to have him build something else for him just so they could spend time together. and it was really solidified in q!Cellbit telling q!Forever today how he has a hard time believing q!Foolish would lie and use Richas’s name to do so. he doesn’t find q!Foolish “capable” of betraying them somehow

q!Cellbit finding out the truth could seriously fuck with him and their relationship. so could him finding out about q!Foolish's actual federation job, but more on that later

q!Cellbit himself killing q!Foolish has potential problems of its own, namely with q!Roier and their relationship. i mean, that's his dad. but at least for me, it's hard to really gauge how q!Roier will react, especially now that him and q!Cellbit are married. i think its circumstantial, but i'm not too too worried about spiderbit

q!Foolish dying also has the potential for some major problems with q!Vegetta if/when he comes back. and i fear for Richas's life if q!Vegetta were to find out, but i digress, let's not go there-

i think a lot of people won't see q!Foolish the same way, at least for a while, if they find out he lied, but i think the bigger problem now lies in his job with the federation

if that gets out, that could burn a lot of bridges. i'll say when actually, because as much as i love q!Foolish, i don't think he can keep this a secret forever. i don't think q!Jaiden will say anything, but who knows, honestly?

unlike q!Cellbit's infiltration to rescue q!Felps and learn more about the federation, and q!Fit using his janitorial job to try and find the player data he wants, q!Foolish is doing this for himself and the federation. unlike both of them, and a majority of the Ordo Theoritas he's technically apart of, he's not anti-federation, he's not anti-Cucurucho, and at that, he's really not neutral, either

i find q!Foolish to be such an interesting character. he knows what he wants a majority of the time and he's willing to do pretty much anything to get what he wants. in this situation, he's aware of his actions having consequences but he does it anyway because it's what he believes benefits himself the most, regardless of what others may say or do. and that's such an interesting character trait, but it can be such a detrimental one, too

did q!Foolish get manipulated tho? to an extent, yes. Cucurucho called him "unique," and i refuse to believe that was out of genuine belief. he's never expressed major interest in q!Foolish until recently. i also don't think Mr. Mustard is alive anymore, quite frankly, if what was said about them eating said capybara is anything to go by. but q!Foolish is so desperate to become Cucurucho's friend and also save Mr. Mustard. he said it himself: he's willing to do just about anything. that leaves the door wide open, doesn't it? Cucurucho is playing a game, and q!Foolish is playing right into it

and if q!Foolish doesn't ultimately go on a traitor arc and he does in fact get used, it kinda sucks for him, really, bc we saw what happened to q!Felps thinking Cucurucho was nice and his friend, and q!Jaiden is probably getting used in a similar way, rather for the fact she's willing to do anything for the eggs

if q!Foolish does get used, and the others catch on to that (mainly q!Cellbit), i think that could be the saving grace for q!Foolish and his relationship with the other members of the island. because it wasn't all his fault, and i think people could see it through

but if not? that's a lot of irreparable damage, be it intentional or not. i'd love to see where that coud lead

that's really it tho. sorry for the word vomit :') if you made it this far, congrats!! what're your own thoughts about this situation? i'd love to see some other people's perspectives :D

[o-o-lover-o-o]

HOW OBSESSED I AM

It's been 7 years ago, when my obsession started. I heard about the anime called ‘hunter x hunter’. This caught my interest and the way the story is delivered is hella good. Then, the first time I saw Illumi Zoldyck in the first arc, I didn't have any reaction because he looks like a dead person and a red flag. But then in the election arc. He appeared and he's hella fine~ 💜, he is now a dead sexy good-looking person and a hot flaming red flag.

Years passed, I've become more obsessed with this character knowing it will not give me any acknowledgement or recognition from this guy because he never existed but if he did, he'll probably kill me LOL because I'm useless AF to be a pawn. I know he exists in a different dimension or universe. Let me be delulu 🙄. I'll probably kms and hope that ill reincarnated to the hxh

WHY I LOVE HIM

Loving a fictional character that has a very questionable personality and morality. Is very common among people who have bad taste in men (like me). He might be fictional but I'm willing to die for him. I love him so much because of his appearance, personality and traits. I wonder why I am so drawn to him. Is it because he's very obsessive and possessive in nature that it gives me security that would probably won't leave me if he gets a chance to love me?(a normal yandere enjoyer)Or I just read many fictional stories about him that my brain always thinks about only him? (I'm brainwashing myself lol).

I am mediocre about everything but if I get obsessed about something, I will dig for its information till the end and the center of the earth. So I can just find a way just to seek what I want to know, even if it's something small or big, it doesn't matter as long it's him. Everything that I'm obsessed about, is essential for my obsession. I must know things that I don't know and I must find answers to these questions that linger in my head and heart.

I love the way his hair drapes down from his shoulder to his waist. It gives a mysterious and majestic effect that caught my interest in every single detail of his features. I'm willingly wrapped myself in his hair and suffocated myself even though it would hurt or might take my life away. His sharp features that make him intimidating is smooch 😘🤌 a masterpiece. he has this big eyes that are filled with emptiness that I'm willing to be swallowed by darkness and will not go up again to see the light, his nose is straight i want to sit on it and, lips that i can kiss till my lung oxygen runs out and die in his arms. His pale skin that illuminates in the darkness from the moonlight, it could light up my life. His aura is so cold and menacing that I want to hug him and never let him go. I like cold stuff because my body is always naturally warm, he can set me on fire to warm himself, I'll be happy to keep him warm. He puts all the spices and gives flavors to my tongue and I would savor the taste of his odd behavior.

I already did a lot of stuff to feed my obsession everyday; reading fanfiction, character analysis, and talking to bots that I made lol. I go far, like making myself hallucinate to see him, and doing reality shifting and I still haven't succeeded yet. I'm happy, everytime i get sleep paralysis and it means I can control my dream. I also lucid dream and encounter illumi a lot in it. Sometimes he appear in my dream 😏 very randomly… and one time we held hands and I got too excited, I woke up. or the way he kissed my neck but I woke up because my mother screamed my name. Or the way he tries to kill me but I'm fine because I'm able to see him. Hehe~💜

My friends call me obsessive and delusional, I'm actually not. I'm just.. Devoted to this relationship, to him. Also I'm manifesting the reality I want. I keep myself virgin for him, even my first kiss. I am willing to be his sacrificial lamb.

I'm willing to follow him all day and pick up all his hair strands on the ground and make a crochet out of it, then create some sweater or something cute that I can give him or something I can keep it myself. If he has dandruff, I'm willing to sprinkle it in my mouth and eat it like parmesan cheese and I can do it like a snack and dessert everyday.

I'm willing to consume everything that comes out in his body, everything he touches is holy and sacred for me. I will build an altar to worship him from head to toe, from his dead skin to his bone marrow. I am willing to fight the Gods and Goddesses or The Devil for illumi, just to see him.

If he existed in this world, I'll probably be his stalker, I'll end up being his slave or I'll be dead lol. But that's fine, as long as the last thing I would see is him. If I get reincarnated to an object, I don't mind being his soap, not in a perverted way but I would love to feel him against mine. Thinking that my only purpose is to serve him then I'll die slowly, melting down to the drainage till I'm nothing. If I don't turn to soap, I'll be okay to be anything, as long as I am his object. If I become a hair blower, I still don't mind. It'll be lovely to witness his hair flowing to the wind. I would not be mad if I became his tissue. But if I turn into a pet, I would be ecstatic.

He smells like every dark thought I ever had. Keeps me awake at night and keeps me thinking about him. I might not have any needles in my head but I act like one. I am drowning in the thought of him everyday that it becomes unhealthy and there's no day that there's no him in my mind. My head will subconsciously start thinking about him to the point of obsession that I can't start my day without staring at my phone with his face in it, scrolling through my gallery and reading fanfiction or anything that is related to him.

I am aware of his flaws but that makes him more attractive in my eyes. He's such an interesting person. I am hella fine with his current personality, to be honest, i would like to be abused by him. He can torture me all day and all night, just to see him and breathe the same air as him. If I really did breathe the same air as him, I would be willing to let him rip open my ribs and offer him my heart or organs. I would kill for him and I would let him kill me if he wanted to.

[invested-in-your-future]

I saw your post about if RWBY was written someone decently:

“We would have absolutely gotten a fallout from Jaune just...forging his entry into the academy and then harassing a girl for two volumes.”

I know I am going to get some hate but honestly I wanted Jaune to learn from his actions. I never did like how even at his worst he gets rewarded for his bad behavior:

-he came to a school without aura and no one scolded him for being reckless

-he is sleeping and being lazy with his training (this was your dream why aren’t you taking this seriously?)

-the worse one to me personally (Pyrrha offering training he desperately needs he refuses out of pride…despite knowing he is doing awful)

I hated the bully arc because it was only there to make jaune look good. (Doesn’t help the writers admitting that it was self insert moment.)

Jaune should have faced consequences for being this irresponsible.

Honestly, it's just a mess.

First of all, I have to preface this by saying that there's nothing necessarily wrong with writing Jaune as lazy or not taking his position seriously - as long as writing acknowledges that and uses it to develop him.

Making Jaune as misguided into believing being a Huntsman would make him respected and adored while struggling to put in actual work necessary could be interesting.

The behavior that is in show would fit perfectly the idea of someone who just thought he'd enter into this prestigious academy and get treated like a hero or "The protagonist" - of course someone like that would instantly attempt to hit on the most popular and famous girl at school and of course someone like that would find it difficult to get into his brain that she isn't interested.

Writing Jaune as this person enamored with toxic stereotypes of masculinity and the idea that others owe something to him for his position is interesting. As is the idea of someone like that slowly getting over the toxicity inherent in his behavior and growing into someone more genuine, someone not bound by awful complexes and generic macho fantasies.

Showing how Jaune has to learn to be comfortable with himself and how the whole "knight in shining armor" stereotype of masculinity is not necessary - that would be a riveting character arc.

It would justify all the clashes with Cardin because both represent the polar opposite issues with toxic masculinity overall.

It would even make him a fitting member of JNPR by making his characterization part of the team's theme of challenging gender stereotypes and roles!

The issue is that the writers don't see any of those as an issue - in the minds of Miles and Kerry and the like - Jaune is just this guy "way in over his head" who is just "trying his best".

And what's worse, the writers take the absolute worst possible message from the critique that surrounds Jaune - they somehow believe that the key to making Jaune more likable and to sell him better to the audiences is to make him more "manly", "stronger", "responsible" - all the while walking straight(heh) into the worst toxic stereotypes that people were complaining about in the first place.

They don't attempt to challenge the toxicity and the annoying character traits because they don't see them. Instead they attempt to make him likable and "cool".

So Jaune gets to step over a trail of women who died for his characterization while lamenting how "he never asked for this" and getting a banana haircut that's "more manly". And to prove the likes of Weiss of how achshually he's totally nice and cool guy and she was oh so wrong for daring to not be interested.

I wrote before that the show has Jaune deal with completely different issues than his character actually has, essentially in parts stuffing Ruby's character arc bits onto his character rather than the main protagonist.

It's not only infuriating because of how much the result of his characterization poisons the already shaky show and steals the protagonists' screen time and development, but also downright sad to see the potential of a compelling story arc robbed.