#why are the tags for them wonky for me huh

[wilson-higgsbury-the-survivor]

Cw: bright colors and glitch effect

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ROUND AND ROUND

ROUND AND ROUND ROUND AND ROUND ROUND AND ROUND ROUND AND ROUND ROUND AND ROUND ROUND AND ROUND ROUND AND ROUND ROUND AND ROUND

Certain parts of the song made me think of WX, and I might make another

I hope you're enjoying the doodles and stuff while I procrastinate answering the asks (I don't like the way I draw wilson sometimes, so I'm still self conscious about answering them awawa)

Anyway, here are some other versions

And last the unedited version

You should commission me or smth. I make weird shit like this, and I like money

[the-kr8tor]

I’m feeling in a really wintery mood today, so may I suggest for fluffy friday TTN hobie x reader as kids playing in the snow during winter break from school?

(Love your hobie x readers btw! Especially ttn!)

AHHH A TTN REQUEST I LOVE U FOR THIS ❤️❤️❤️ Thank you!! I'm glad you like my lil series 💕

Pairing: Hobie Brown x fem! Reader/ Spider-Punk x fem! Reader

Tags: No use of Y/N, no specific physical description of the reader, TTN! Hobie, TTN! Reader, Fluff

TTN! Hobie is based on my series ❤️

It's Fluffy Friday!

ʕ⁠·⁠ᴥ⁠·⁠ʔ

You build a fort with snow, walls almost as tall as you, cold biting at your bare hands. Maybe you should've taken your winter gloves with you. It's too late now though as Hobie places his finishing touches on his side of the battlefield. The tip of his tongue poking out from his lips, brows furrowed in concentration. He's bundled up nicely compared to you, missing your gloves.

"Hurry up, Gromit!" Hobie pats the last bit of snow on his fort, hands already forming his first snowball.

"I'm trying!" Briskly trying to complete the fort, it looks wonky on the side. You huff in annoyance.

"Need help?" Hobie asks with a snicker, you glare at him across the snow covered field.

In retaliation, you hastily mold a snowball in your hand, hiding it behind the wall. It's not a perfect shape but it'll do. Aiming for his head, you throw it with a grunt. The snowball flies across, hitting Hobie square in the face.

"Ack!" Snow slides on his skin, wiping it clean off, revealing his mischievous smile, fiery eyes staring at you. "I'm going to destroy you!"

You screech, wide smile on your face as you duck away from Hobie bombarding you with snowballs.

It was a fight to the death, giggles and laughing sounding out in the cold winter air. Hobie gets numerous hits on you whilst you focus on precision, hitting him where it hurts. His fort tumbles down from your pelting, leaving him unprotected.

He gasps out in realization, you laugh triumphantly, arms at the ready to throw your arsenal.

"You cheeky–" Hobie gets cut off by your snowball smacking him on his temple. You laugh like an evil villain. "That's how it is, huh?!" He runs towards you at full speed, snow crunching under his footsteps. Hobie grabs a handful of snow on his way.

Your eyes grow wide, yelping as he grows closer, running for dear life. Unfortunately for you, your opponent has longer legs, he catches up to you in seconds. Feeling ice sliding on your back where Hobie pushed snow inside your thick jumper.

Yelling, you try to take out the ice from your clothes, jumping and wiggling about. Hobie guffaws on the sideline, clutching his stomach in laughter.

Finally getting rid of the snow in your clothes, you tackle Hobie while he's distracted. You two tumble in the snow, bringing your frozen hands to his cheek. He shrieks at the cold making you copy his earlier laugh.

"Why aren't you wearing gloves?!" He howls out, pushing you off.

You fall on the thick snow, giggling as he fists your jacket collar. Sticking your tongue out, you try to rile him up more. "I forgot it"

"Y'know you could get frostbite from that" He tries to scare you.

"Pssh, no, I won't" you roll your eyes.

"Yuh uh, then I have to cut your fingers off just to save your hands!" He takes your hand pretending to chop it off. That does it for you, gasping in fear of losing your fingers, how are you gonna draw without them?

"Noooo!" Sitting up, you rub your hands together in a futile attempt to warm them up.

"That's not gonna work, here" Hobie takes his gloves off, putting it over your frozen hands for you.

Heart warming at the scene, you let Hobie give you his gloves. "Thanks" he lets out a quiet 'sure', "softie" you continue, he flicks your wrist at your quip.

"You want hot chocolate? I have some at home" you ask, eyes twinkling.

"Sure, but no milk for me" Hobie stands up, extending his hand to help you up.

You take his hand without question, clouds puff out of your cold lips as you beam up at him. "Let's go then! I have tiny marshmallows for it"

Hobie follows you with a wobbly smile.

Reblog banner by @/cafekitsune

[polizwrites]

Carving Out Time Together

This is a fill for this week's @flashfictionfridayofficial prompt [#FFF223 BY CANDLELIGHT], @flufftober Day 20:  Pumpkin , @fictober-event Day 20:  "This better be good." @winterironbingo Oct Adoptable: Pumpkin and @tonystarkbingo K4 - Holiday Fic

Fandom: MCU/Marvel Rating: General Pairing: Tony Stark/Bucky Barnes Tags: Canon-divergent, Avengers Tower, Halloween, Pumpkin Carving, Pre-Slash, Jack-O-Lanterns

"This better be good."  Tony grumbled;  he’d spent his entire day in meetings - dawn to dusk -  and all he wanted to do was stuff his face full of junk food and pass out in front of the television.  It was just his luck to run into Natasha, who took him by the arm and pulled him into the elevator, pushing the button for the shared floor of Avengers Tower.  

“Just humor me for a moment.”  Natasha said quietly as they exited the elevator.  She held one finger to her lips in a ‘be quiet’ gesture and gestured for him to follow. 

They stopped just around the corner from the communal kitchen, and  Natasha motioned for Tony to look around the corner. 

Bucky was sitting at the table, muttering under his breath as he stabbed into a pumpkin.  A half-dozen more of varying sizes and shapes were sitting on the table and counter  with a box of tealight candles next to them.  On the floor was a tub half-full of pumpkin pulp;  it was clear he was in the middle of making jack-o-lanterns.   Natasha leaned in to whisper in Tony’s ear, “Why don’t you go help?”

Tony shook his head;  a little embarrassed to admit he’d never carved a pumpkin.   When he was five or six   he’d helped Jarvis celebrate Halloween by drawing a funny face on the side of a pumpkin.   But he was too young to use a knife, and was grossed out by the feel of the pulp, so he just watched the rest of the process.  By the next October,  Jarvis was gone, and Tony knew better than to ask his parents to make jack-o-lanterns with him.   

Natasha frowned, then gave him a push.  As he stumbled into the softly lit entryway,  Bucky leapt to his feet, knife in hand.   “It’s just me, Sarge.”  Tony quickly said, raising his hands in surrender.  “Didn’t mean to interrupt the festivities.” He waved a hand toward the vegetable carnage.   “How come Steve’s not helping?” 

“He and Sam are ‘sparring’,”  Bucky answered, holding up his fingers to make air quotes;  Tony wondered who he’d learned that from.  

“Is that so?” Tony replied with a chuckle,  “I’ve been wondering when those two were going to get their heads out of their asses and admit how they felt about each other.”  

“Me too.” A grin briefly lit up Bucky’s face, and Tony’s heart skipped a beat.  That was another reason he’d been reluctant to do this - his stupid crush on James Buchanan Barnes.  “Though I could use a hand,” Bucky continued, “if I’m going to get done on time. I offered to help Sam decorate at the VA and the next thing I knew, all this got delivered and he went and flew the coop.”         

“Um, okay.  Tony sat  down across from Bucky;  he could do this, just helping a friend out. “Though I do have to admit I’m a novice at the whole jack-o-lantern thing.” 

“Huh - I figured a man of the world like you had seen and done everything.”    Bucky replied with an arched eyebrow;  Tony couldn’t quite tell if he was joking or not. 

Tony shrugged. “There’s a few things I missed out on along the way.  So,   where do we start?” 

It wasn’t as easy as it looked;  the pulp was just as gross as Tony  remembered,  and  the rinds of the pumpkins were thicker than he expected, so his first attempt at carving a face ended up a little wonky.   “You know, I have  dremels and a laser cutter down in the workshop - we could be done in a flash,” he muttered. 

“Sometimes the traditional ways are the best,”  Bucky replied mildly, carving a perfectly circular eye with a simple twist of the wrist.   

“Says the guy with phenomenal knife skills and super strength.” 

“If you’d rather,” Bucky suggested, “you can sort the seeds out of the pumpkin pulp so we can roast them.” 

“Ew, no thanks,”  Tony grimaced.  “Let’s leave that for Steve and Sam.”  

Bucky grinned.  “I like the way you think.  That seems a fair penance.  Especially if we put the tubful in the fridge first - it’s even more gross when it’s cold.   Now let’s see how these fellas look all lit up.” 

They took the tealights and placed them in the hollowed-out pumpkins, then Tony rummaged in the junk drawer to find a lighter. “Here, let me,”  Bucky took the lighter in his metal hand. “This way we don’t gotta worry about singing our arm hair.”

“Good point,” Tony chuckled, watching as their jack-o-lanterns came to life.  Once they were all lit, he reached over and turned off the lights.    The warm, flickering glow sent a surprising wave of nostalgia washing over Tony;  he glanced over to see Bucky staring at him with a strangely intent expression.   “What, do I have pumpkin guts on my face, or something?” 

“Nah.  Just …  this was nice, Tony.”  A small, almost bashful smile lit up his face.  “Thank you.” 

Tony gathered up his courage.  “You want to come up and watch a movie with me?  I was gonna call in an order to Gino’s for a large pepperoni pizza.”

Bucky’s  smile grew wider.  “Yeah. I’d like that.”   

[dawndelion-winery]

shedding my anon tag bc i cant be bothered w anonymity anymore lmfao

No but... now that you've left him, I wonder how Childe had to explain to his siblings that he's not gonna bring you around to visit his family anymore.

When he first enters his family home, shoulders heavy with the news he has to break to his parents and siblings (who loved you so much. His mom had been halfway ready to adopt you into the family herself) his first few words are drowned out by a cacophony of: "Ajax! You're back!" "Welcome back big brother!" and, inevitably, "Huh? Where's—"

He takes that moment to interject with a laugh that even he can tell is a little strained. When he crouches to their level, he hopes he isn't close enough for them to see how distraught he is internally.

"Listen, guys... uh... we kind of—"

"Why are you alone?" Tonia demands, brows furrowed. Childe gulps. She had always been perceptive. Sometimes terribly so. The ache in his chest only grows further when he sees a small flower crown in her hands. A little wonky, some stems poking out, but clearly handmade. Handmade of your favorite flowers.

He tries to keep the prick of tears in his eyes at bay.

"Oh! Haha, funny story about that," he says, hoping they don't hear his voice crack. Hopes they don't see how his smile doesn't reach his eyes. "We... uh... the— there were some issues back in Liyue. One of us had to stay behind, and... and since I've still got a long way to being the best toy salesman in the whole world, we thought it best that I sit these problems out for now." He swallows. "So I came alone."

And tsaritsa does he feel terrible for lying. He feels the hole in his chest grow tenfold as he watches the smile light up on Tonia's face as she accepts the answer. As she hands him the flower crown to cradle gently, like it's made of gold and gemstones. He feels terrible as she tells him to give it to you as soon as he sees you again— he feels even worse when he nods and promises that he will, knowing that you'd never want to see his face again.

He wants to crawl into a hole and fight something (something, anything) as he continues to keep up the charade that you're still together, that you still love him. It feels terrible. Like grease stuck to his skin that he can't wash off. LIke a little bandaid on a large wound. But, a conspiratorial little voice whispers, is it so bad to live in this fantasy just a little while longer? Is it really so bad to pretend that he's not ripping apart at the seams without you?

Childe doesn't answer. He just smiles and lies to his mother that he'll bring you with him next time.

Wait wtf this implies you've been sending in asks before- WHO ARE YOU, CATTE? ANSWER ME, CATTE, IS THIS WHAT ANONYMITY MEANS TO YOU?

But anyways have I told you about my new boyfriend? We haven't been together very long but things are going pretty well and I think it might last a while

[roboromantic]

I thought Mandroid's tower was supposed to affect energon-based lifeforms and that since it was established that the Terrans don't need it, just the cave water, they wouldn't be affected but oh well. guess not

they had a lot of death fakeouts that were getting pretty old by the end but damn, they really eviscerated Karen, huh. Kinda wish she'd had a bit more time to establish herself as a villain but unless this weapon actually teleported her somewhere or she's brought back some other way I guess we're done with her.

Since Mandroid probably wasn't healed, I'm guessing the source of the ancient weapon and the reason there's an energon eater down in the caves is gonna be the focus of the next season? btw are they gonna say anything about the time dilation he experienced or gd forbid have a version of him from the future but not THAT far into the future show up?

I don't have any particularly strong feelings re: Tarantulus but he was like. the only bot who was nowhere to be seen during the finale, which seems weird

the last few minutes were corny as hell but the rest of the show was great so I'll allow it

oh right I gotta check another copy of episode 24 because either the one I have is wonky or there's just a really weird cut at about 5 minutes where Thrash sees a guy running and then saves him from......nothing? I think part of why it feels so weird is the guy's running to the left and then all of a sudden it cuts to Thrash carrying him to the right. NO sign of danger and COMPLETE reversal of movement made it very jarring imo

uuuhhh what else. It's interesting that they touched on Megatron's past as a tyrant and then just. did not have that affect anything. maybe in the next season?

Why'd they name one of the Sharkticons Blitzwave lol, sounds like a ship name for Blitzwing and one of the —waves.

_________________________________________________

looking through the production bible that got posted on the tfw2005 forums and it's got concept art for the Terrans! I'm sure it's already been in the tags a zillion times by now but I think it's neat.

I think I prefer how Thrash looks in the show, but much as I like Nightshade's current aesthetic, I do like this one more

I think the final kids designs look better too

It says the kids' cyber-sleeve can retract to the size of a watchband whenever they need to hide it; I don't think we've seen that happen? If it were gonna happen it would've happened in the school episode, and I'm pretty sure it didn't so I'm guessing this ability was cut for whatever reason.

Dot apparently got a BA in Environmental Science, I don't think that's been mentioned on the show or other biographies? it's also not like. super important but it's a nice detail that links her to the park ranger job. Sadly not a lot of details on how she met Megs

It says Alex has a degree in history and used to be a professor of Human-Transformers Relations which I think changed a bit - more recent bios say he specifically studied Cybertronian history, iirc. It also mentions that after the move he teaches high school history and quickly becomes everyone's favorite instructor, but I don't think that's come up in the show. There's also Zero mention of him being Filipino which is kinda weird since the newer biographies mention that he's proud of his heritage and wants to pass it on to his kids, but I guess that just got added later. It also says Dr. Meridian was his closest friend at his old university, which makes me even sadder that the payoff for them finally meeting face-to face was kinda. Nothing.

ooh more Terran concept art as we go through the kids one at a time

jsdhflkjhgfj with the color scheme on the right she looks kinda like Flarepath

Of all the siblings, Jawbreaker is the most curious about the Terrans’ Transformer heritage and what they can learn from it. This can generate conflict, because some Terrans (Hashtag, Nightshade) want to stand apart from their Cybertronian ancestors and forge their own identities. Jawbreaker dreams of being as great as Optimus, and he’s teachers pet when it comes to Cybertronian history. [...] And yes, JB will hug his siblings with those tiny T-Rex arms!

I don't think we've seen the conflict over heritage all that much, I'm hoping we see more of it in season 2. I did like this latest batch of episodes but I do wish we got more of the Terrans figuring out who they are and less of the fighting. It does state he's a stygimoloch, the comment's not referring to him originally having a t-rex altmode or anything. It also doesn't have a picture that really shows off said tiny arms though so it feels a bit weird to mention that at all? w/e

Gargoyle altmode??? I get why they went for an owl instead but damn. imagine.

Nightshade is the only sibling who identifies as “Terran” and not gender coded, as they are mechanically minded and feel gender serves no function to their identity.

not really a fan of that tbh but if that's what you gotta do to get nonbinary characters in the show then go ahead, I guess

Hashtag was gonna be a News Van but tbh the GHOST van isn't really all that different from one so.

The charismatic leader of the Autobots, our version of the revered Prime is a bit like Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, complete with the ability to speak magnitudes with a raised brow.

I was not. expecting that sjkdhfgjkdfghdfjkghjdg. please someone draw that

He still hasn’t quite figured out how to comfortably communicate with humans, and he often overdoes the jocular likeability with thumbs up and “okie dokies.” Dot especially finds this off-putting, and she’s in a strange friendship triangle where she gets along with Megatron, but not his one-time partner Optimus.

"one-time partner" you say 👀

He is truly reformed, so he makes every effort possible to right the wrongs of his past and show his new and improved self to humans. Despite this, Megatron will eventually discover that Optimus and Dot have been keeping secrets from him. This shattered trust, compounded by the temptation to claim the Emberstone himself to save his species, will make him turn heel once again.

hmmmmmm kinda hoping this plot point got dropped tbh. I can't even think of any secrets they'd be keeping from him atm, so if it is still gonna happen I'm guessing it'd be in the next season.

looks like Mandroid was gonna be more of a cyborg than he uh. starts off as, anyways. His shoulder kiiiinda reminds me a little bit of TFA Colossus Rhodes? It's a bit of a stretch and probably wasn't intentional, but that coulda been neat.

oh lol, in the pilot here they write that Robby wanted to compete in a gaming tournament with his friends in Philly but then the town was put under emergency weather lockdown, so he just. tries biking out there anyway

Nightshade’s wacky “improvements” make life harder for the Terrans and Maltos, and they take their experiments elsewhere, accidentally recruiting some of Mandroid’s spider-bots in the process. Ultimately, she converts the family barn into a tricked out clubhouse and HQ for the Terrans and kids!

squints. somebody fucked up

Most of the episode ideas for s1 they've got here were exectued in some fashion, but the 2 that weren't involve meeting more citizens of Witwicky and revealing how it's mtmte and full of GHOST secrets, which feels kinda similar to Griffin Rock but evil

and the other is Hashtag being part of a fan community and wanting to go to a convention in town, but she's been posing as a human (and her profile states she "low-key wants to be" one) and presumably hijinks ensue

Obviously this was like, the pitch for the show and things changed but it's always neat to see exactly how and what might come up later 👀

[givereadersahug]

2022 Fic Round-Up (Again)

Am I doing another fic round-up? You bet! They deserved to be talked about. Why should I stop talking about them once I publish my work? Thanks for the tag @danpuff-ao3!

Rules:

Post the top 5 works you're most proud of that you released in 2022 (not necessarily your most popular),

your top 4 current WIPs that you're excited to release in the new year,

your top 3 biggest improvements in your writing over the past year,

your top 2 resolutions (ways you wish to improve your writing/blog) for the new year,

and your number 1 favorite line you've written this year!

Tagging - Anybody who see this post, go write ahead! I want to read about your fics and what you're excited for!

5 fics

I'm going to try to talk about fics I hadn't talked about before. Got to spread the love! And I feel like some deserve more attention, or at least an acknowledgement from me that -- yes, I wrote the thing and no, I didn't forget about you.

The Mirror of Erised (Harry Potter, Gen, 200 words) - This was written for a prompt community on Dreamwidth, which challenges you to write a drabble using 100 words or 200 words in total. The prompt for this work was 'shattered glass.' This was...different. I knew immediately I wanted to write a fic using the Mirror of Erised. I have a whole complex backstory for the mirror and how it came to be and what it saw through the years. And I knew how I wanted to end the story. The story would make for a heartbreaking, well-rounded fic if I had the capacity and the talent to convey the emotions I wanted to convey -- the devastation, the yearning, the complete loss, the possession. So I used this prompt as an exercise. Sometimes I do that --- most of my drabbles are slice of life fics that don't need more than a few hundred words to express. But for some --- for some, I want to see if the story is worth telling. Does it merit an expansion? An in-depth look? A second chance? It's a great exercise, imo, and I get my bazillion and one ideas out there in the world and not hidden away in my folder on my computer to never be seen again. The process of thinking about the world and editing the drabble and seeing it published --- it helps with figuring out which story is worth my time and which isn't worth my time. Maybe I will go back to it. Maybe I inspire someone to write something. Who knows? But back to this drabble. I'm proud of this drabble. I think. I'm proud of the story in my head that I have for this world. I do, however, want to change the wording and the pitter-patter, rhythmic way I wrote it. (Since I think the rhythm was lost a bit and certain sentence structures, imo, were wonky.) But the reception over on Dreamwidth was great. People really responded to it and I really love the story in my head. Which that's the problem, huh? If only we have a way to transfer the stories we envisioned directly onto the page. Now I'm just rambling. Back to the topic. I'm proud of this. It deserves to be talked about. There. <3

Peace (SK8 the Infinity, Matchablossom, 200 words) - This was also written for a drabble prompt community on Dreamwidth. The prompt was 'you know me.' Matchablossom. What can I say? They are my comfort ship right now. Unlike my other ships, this one is 'realistic' in a way that this could be my parents or my friends and their partners or the loving couple I know down the street. Just them. Being old friends who happened to be in love and do domestic things together and fight and be annoyed with each other --- without the fate of the world hanging in balance, or a chosen one prophecy, or complicated planetary relations muddling the waters. Comfort. It's the little things you do for the person you love, which I think I captured in this drabble. The little things that Kojiro does for Kaoru throughout their days together. (In this case, feeding him, since Kojiro runs a restaurant and Kaoru is a mess of a human being who forgets to eat and needs to be fed.) Action speaks louder than words -- the dynamics of their relationship, their feelings for each other. I was working on my 'showing, not telling' and I don't know. This drabble is one I often come back to to read. Most of the fics I read is all about the complexities, or the dangers of saving the world/country/universe/etc, the grit & harshness of a couple getting together. Which is great! But sometimes writing about domestic fluff and established relationships with no true conflict --- well, there are so few writers that can get that right for me. Each genre and each trope is complex in its own way, and everyone has different tastes, and sometimes you just have to write the fic you want to see in the world. This is a long-winded answer to just say that I know what I like, and I love this drabble.

Forgiveness (Harry Potter, Severus Snape/unnamed male character, 625 words) This was written for the hp-coffeehouse community on Dreamwidth for the prompt - coffee/tea in hot weather/summer. Old man Snape! Waiting in a teashop and asking for forgiveness from an old lover. I wanted to write a Muggle AU about regrets and...man, was this hard. I think I did okay. I went for a more lyrical style. I had no specific male lover in mind, since this was about Severus coming to terms with his past actions. I was reading Yoko Ozawa's works at the time (highly recommend her books) and I was trying to capture her style. I don't think I succeeded, but I'm happy with the outcome. Even if it took me a while to get this written. 🤣

Devotion (SK8 the Infinity, Matchablossom, 7316 words) I wrote Intricacies first. Devotion is a remix of that fic. I was dumb and thought - 'Huh. What if there was a fanfic that actually dealt with the real legal issues in Japan in relation to same-sex couples adopting?' Cause, let's be real here. Same-sex couples can't get married and they can't adopt. (Yet.) And there were a lot of fanfics about Kaoru and Kojiro happily married and maybe adopting a child, and I decided to throw cold water onto the parade. I wanted to read a fanfic about their struggles to get married and to adopt, and when I couldn't find one, I wrote it myself. In the end, this fic isn't even really about them adopting. It's about them coming to terms with each other and them being a team. Adoption and marriage (and to a lesser extent, citizenship, a whole other bag of issues Japan has) was just a vehicle in Kaoru and Kojiro being more Kaoru and Kojiro. You think that given I wrote the fic I have the words to express my feelings about it or talk about the emotions I wanted to convey, but I can't. 🤣 Anyway, I'm proud of this fic. Go fic!

Colours (Harry Potter, Snarry, 2268 words) This was written for the Liquid Luck Drabble challenge. The prompt was a photograph of blue butterflies on a fallen log. It's pretty simple. I just wanted to write a fic in which Severus gets railed by Harry. But I also wanted Severus to be hopelessly smitten? But yet in a Severus way? idk how to describe it, but I wanted to write how Mr. Darcy looked in the second proposal scene in Pride & Prejudice (2005). Completely enamored, enchanted, beguiled, besotted---- basically all the adjectives. 🤣 I wanted to create a sense of ethereal and grace in the story, cause the photograph (which is linked in the story) is such beauty and mystic and other-wordly. I know I'm not a plot-heavy writer. What I do want is to bring up certain emotions while you read and I wanted this fic to be like a dream you dreamed once.

4 WIPs

I'm not going to count my fest fics. Mostly, I just don't want to jinx myself. I have yet to drop a fest and I feel like the more I talk about them, the more I get insecure? Have second thoughts? Something goes funny in my brain, so here are other projects I hope to accomplish in the next year or two.

The Loneliest Time Project. I always wanted to write a series of fics based around a theme, so I figured new year, new project. The Loneliest Time is the sixth studio album released by Carly Rae Jepsen and it's my favorite album of 2022. It is also ripe for inspiration. Each song is an examination of different types of loneliest. There is cynicism in this album. There are heartbreaks, regrets, bitterness. I have a few ideas already. I just need a push to actually write them out.

King Severus. My bedtime story for Coco. I'll finish it! I promise, Coco! I PROMISE.

Your Name & Paranorman. These are two Snarry AUs I spoke about once or twice on Discord. I have the outlines. I just...hmmm. Something is holding me back, and I need to figure out what it is.

Restoration. My incomplete Snarry AUctoerfest entry. The one I dropped and wrote something else for the fest. I'm hoping to have this one done before the 2023 AUctoberfest, but who knows? *crossing fingers*

3 improvements

I got over my writer's block? That is a major improvement, I think. 🤣 Do I even need the other two?

Signing up for fests! That really helped in getting my mojo back. And participating in prompt challenges. I apparently like structure and rules, so fests & prompts really helped this year.

Learning not to worry too much about being perfect. English is technically my third language. I used to be obsessed over my fics having to be perfect before I even think about posting them online. I don't even care if my plot would be received well as long as my grammar is perfect. My grammar is farrrr from perfect. (I'm sure there are a bunch of mistakes in this post.) I have eccentricities in my writing style, the way I talk, the way I think. Nobody is ever perfect, so why should I be? And the edit button is always there. (Also, can I say again how tenses are the BANE OF MY EXISTENCE. arghhhh.)

2 resolutions

I want to crack that 10k mark. One of my fic needs to hit that 10k mark. Please?

Thorki, my love. My OTP. You are intimidating and scary to write for. I hope I can write something for you. So far I have dipped my toes in. I just need to submerge myself fully. Hopefully. Maybe.

1 line

Hmmm. I only have one line? But..hmmm. Okay, for this bit I decided to randomly choose one fic from SK8 the Infinity and one from Harry Potter and pick a line from there. (Or in this case, a paragraph.)

Devotion - (SK8 the Infinity, Matchablossom, 7316 words)

This moment at the tail-end of Kaoru’s rant, him voicing all his anxiety filled thoughts he must had have obsessed over – this moment with Kaoru’s flushed cheeks, his hair out of place from all his gesturing, and his eyes filled with heated passion and the deluge of pure emotions cascading from every pore – Kojiro thought he was in love with Kaoru before but this. This was the moment Kojiro knew with absolute certainty he was head over heels, couldn’t live without, shout from the sun and moon and stars and heavens he was totally, devastatingly, hopelessly in love with Kaoru – the most infuriating man Kojiro had ever known, and the most caring man Kojiro had ever known. He would have fought the world before for Kaoru, but now he would fight Kaoru if he himself got in Kojiro’s way in making him happy.

Dragons - (Harry Potter, Severus Snape/Charlie Weasley, 2659 words)

Dragons were misunderstood; people always saw them as violent creatures when they were anything but violent. Hulking and snarling, they were gentle creatures at heart. They react with brutality and sheer force when backed into a corner. I knew how to handle the beasts; I am reaping the reward for bedding one.

[justanartisticduck]

Heya! It’s me again and I am back with yet another fanfic! Ok so this one was actually my first fanfic lol- I actually have no idea why I haven’t posted it here yet BUT this is actually the first fanfic I wrote!! Anyways now to describe this fanfic, well y’all know me and you know how much I love Red and Duck so I wrote this lil story of them! but it has a bit of a twist!! It is actually about Red and Duck in the past and when I say “in the past” I mean before highschool kind of past! (Jeez these two have been friends for a long time huh?) But basically in this fanfic is when these two first met as a matter of fact!! Also small warning! Ducks parents in this fic are implied to be- well- not the best- now I wasn’t sure how to tag this but I just wanted to place this here just to warn y’all! Anyways another thing I wanted to say aswell is I refer to Red as Harry/Harold and Duck as Robin in this fic, just to avoid confusion! :3 Now that’s all I really have to say aside from I hope y’all enjoy the fic!! Again, remember, this was my first fic so if my writing is wonky that’s cuz it quite literally was the first fanfic I wrote! Now with all that out of the way I hope y’all enjoy this!! :DDD

It was a beautiful morning in the city, Harry looked around, amazed at all the tall buildings and beautiful architecture that surrounded him. If buildings weren’t enough the fascinating murals on the walls were definitely enough to leave you mesmerized for hours. He glanced at his mother, she was muttering words under her breath but when she noticed her son was glancing at her she stopped and gave him a reassuring smile through her hair. Harry looked forward when he saw a tall building. The building, when compared to its surroundings, was rather dull and boring, there were many fellow creatures exiting the building, the two common ones were birds and fellow red guys. The two walked into the building and went towards a desk which had a peacock behind the counter.

“Hello, welcome to Mallard Enterprises, how may I assist you two today?”

Harry’s mom spoke in a dull, monotone voice, “Hello sir, we would like to visit the office of Mrs. Mallards.”

“I assume you have an appointment, yes?”

Harry zoned out from the chatter between his mother and the peacock as he looked around at his surroundings. The building, being that it was part of a “big company” in his mother’s words was what you would expect, fancy, quiet, boring. He looked up above the desk where he saw a family portrait of two adult ducks and two young children. The two parents intimidated him, they stared with a look that just said they did not like you. The two children looked fairly similar despite their opposite colors and emotion, almost as if they were twins. One of them was emerald green like their father with a yellow beak which frowned, they wore glasses over their yellow eyes which gave the same glare of their parents and they held a large book about history. The other brother was red just like Harry, he had an odd blue beak, blue eyes, and he gave a look which was much more lively compared to the rest of his family.

“Come on Harold lets go,” his mother said holding onto his hand in the midst of his thoughts.

They took an elevator which brought them to the tenth floor where they entered a lobby room and straight ahead was an office with the name Malicia G. Mallards written on it’s closed door.

“Wait here in the lobby while I consult my boss about you working here, look you even have a little friend to talk to”, she glanced at a young bird who sat on one of the many lobby chairs, they looked fairly similar to one of the children on the family portrait.

“Well that sounds pretty boring..” Harry mumbled, crossing his arms.

His mother sighed and reassured him, “I won’t be long..” she left and entered the office.

Harry sat next to the young bird, they were the kid in the painting. The bird looked fairly young (maybe nine or ten years old…?), he wondered what a child so young would be doing here. The bird was reading a book that seemingly was about trades, business, and money which made Harry even more puzzled about the child, he was fourteen and he still had no idea what the main idea of trades and business was so how did this 9 year old know? The bird seemed to notice the staring and they raised a eyebrow.

“Is something wrong sir?”

Harry was slightly alarmed by the voice, it was fairly odd sounding as if it was auto tuned and mechanic, “Oh no! There’s nothing wrong, I’m just curious about the book you’re reading, that’s all..”

“It’s nothing really, right now I’m learning about oil and how it affected the economy, you see…”

The young bird rambled on and on about oil, money and so many things Harry couldn’t even comprehend, jeez this kid knows a lot.

“You are surely smart for just being nine-“

“I’m thirteen.” the bird said in a stern tone of voice while interrupting Harry.

The bird spoke again in a annoyed voice, “Plus, you sure talk a lot despite being in the workplace, I’m surprised no one has yelled at you yet to mind your manners and be quiet!”, the bird glared at Harry before continuing to read their book.

Harry thought a bit about the building. You see, unlike most of his species, Harry is really creative, what most of his kind would see as utter nonsense he would see as art. He loved all forms of art, one of which was music. He absolutely loved music, he would constantly hum little tunes and it drives his mother and step brother nuts for they only see it as nonsensical words mashed together with noise. His creativity was never accepted among his species, at school in art he would always share his best ideas but in return he would get the typical, “oh that’s great sweetie!” and they would then pass on to another student. He always wanted to work in an art studio, or maybe be in a band, or heck, he could even do a puppet show and he would be happy! But he then remembered his mother’s words as they drove to this city, “I’m going to take you just where I worked when I was your age. You see in this office you’ll learn so many things, you may even become a better business person when compared to me!”, he did not want to do business, or at least not this kind. His mother always wanted him to fit in, a difference was a burden to her, which made Harry himself a burden for he knew just why his mother wanted him to work here, she wanted to “fix” him, she wants to be rid of his creativity so he could be like everyone else. Then he remembered the bird next to him, even though they were a little older than he thought, why were they reading a book about trades when they could be playing games and having fun?

“Hey uhm-“

The duck slammed their book shut, “what is it now?!?”

They gave the red creature a glare filled with annoyance. “Uhhhh I just wanted to know.. if you by any chance could tell me about your mom, Mrs. Mallards…..?”

The bird shrunk into their shoulders, their eyes were wide and seemed to look around the room for a brief moment…

“Well… she is a… uhh… very successful businesswoman and mother.”, they seemed to have rushed those words out before scrambling to find a page in their book to distract themself.

“No, I mean, what do you think of her? I personally think my mom is a lady who just absolutely cannot have fun”

The bird's eyes widened, “I’ve never been asked my opinion before..”

As Harry watched the bird think of their next words carefully, he saw many emotions within their body language; anger, fear, and pain.. he never thought that they would have this side to them, it kinda made him feel bad..

“You.. you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to..” He added, he had a worried expression on his face.

The bird looked back at him, they were trying to figure out just how to respond to Harry, they stood quiet for a brief moment before responding, “I- I don’t want to talk about it.. but it’s nice to hear that someone actually cares about what I think for once..”

Just as Harry prepared to speak again the door to the office opened and Harry’s mother came out with excitement,

“Hey Harold guess where you’re going to be working~”, Harry sighed and replied unenthusiastically, “where…..?”

“Right in this very building”, she said with much more excitement when compared to her son. She then checked her watch and added, “Anyways, we ought to get going-“

“Wait, can I at least say bye to them first?”

She glanced at the small bird and replied, “I suppose, don’t take too long though, I’ll be on the first floor..”, she left for the elevator.

“I have to go..”

The bird jumped out of their seat and sprinted towards the tall creature, “I know you don’t have much time but by any chance… would you like to become friends? I mean you are going to work here and I will be in this building often so I mine as well keep you company because trust me it gets really boring here..”

Harry shrugged his shoulders while slightly smiling just from hearing the bird babble on, “sure..”

The bird looked so excited, they hugged Harry through his excitement, “Yes!! Oh wow, I’ve never actually had a real friend before hahaha! Oh by the way, my name is Robin, Robin D. Mallards..”, they moved back and held out their hand

“Oh, I am Harold, but my friends call me Harry or Red..”, they both shook hands after their brief greeting.

“Anyways I have to go, bye Robin!” Harry rushed towards the elevator waving his hand behind him.

“Goodbye Red!” Robin smiled as they watched their new friend leave..

The elevator took Harry back down to the first floor, the main floor was empty for the most part so it was fairly easy to find his mother. Him and his mother walked out of the building together and to their car. Harry’s mother was constantly talking about random things, Harry didn’t listen to much of what she had to say. Harry’s thoughts were more so focused on Robin, Harry wasn’t used to having friends so having an actual friendship outside of family was something entirely new to Harry. Harry thought about things he had heard friends do and he imagined doing those things with Robin because now he won’t have to act like he has friends, now he won’t just have to pretend there is a person willingly talk to him, no, he can finally have someone to talk to, someone to walk with, someone to just simply enjoy his company. It was hard to see through Harry’s long and thick hair but he was smiling for the first time in months- he continued to think about the future things he and Robin were going to do together then his mother spoke, interrupting his thoughts yet again-

“So luckily for you you got this job!! I absolutely cannot wait for you to work here as I did when I was your age!”

“…yeah.. I can’t wait either..” Red said, rolling his eyes. He honestly was not excited but at least now he has an actual friend to be on his side.. hopefully at least that will make his life just a bit more fun..

[daggxrsanddrxamers]

lighters and candy, i’ve been a fool

Wesper fanfic, cuz i'm currently in love with them<3

Fluff, 1123 words

Wesper goes apple picking, that's the plot, warning for intense fluff

Wylan had noticed jesper working himself to the bone, what with trying to explain everything in the books related to the business to him, still working at the crow club sometimes, and just the stress of living in a city like Ketterdam, Jesper didn’t look too well rested.

And that would never do, would it? Wylan wanted to do something special for him, a perfect date, free of stress, away from the continuous noise of the city perhaps. He had contacted Colm Fahey, asking him if Jesper had any childhood memories he had favoured a lot, or a moment which he cherished.

Colm had chuckled and told him about a young jesper going out to pick apples every year, riding on the shoulders of his father, with his mother’s angelic voice singing everything from ballads to popular folk songs. The story had brought an inexplicable warmth to Wylan’s heart.

So he’d gone out one day, and found this beautiful apple orchard just outside the city, the branches were laden with apples now and open to the public.

So today, Wylan was gonna drag Jesper out with him, no matter what happens. It didn’t take much to convince Jesper to go out with him and soon they were strolling down the streets hand in hand, wide smiles plastered on their faces.

“So, where are we going?” Jesper asks, swinging their joined hands between them, a sunny smile on his face.

Wylan, caught up in staring at him, forgets to answer for a second. “It's a surprise, why would I tell you now?” he says with a cheeky grin.

Jesper laughs and pulls him closer, walking along with him towards wherever Wylan’s gonna lead him. The amount of trust Jesper puts in him, makes his world light up in all the prettiest colours there ever can be.

The walk is short, and they eventually reach the gates, but Wylan’s face falls seeing the gates closed, the orchard having been closed off to the public for the day, he turns to Jesper with a sad smile on his face.

“I...I wanted to bring you apple picking” he blushes “Your father said that that’s something you always loved to do” he shrugs, “Guess we can’t go, today then.”

Jesper laughs and brushes some hair away from his face, “Who said we can’t go in anyways?” and right then if Wylan could freeze the twinkle in his eyes, and take t out everyday to see, he would.

“What do you mean? The gates are closed, though.”

A bright grin spreads across Jesper’s freckled face, “We broke into the ice court, darling, don’t tell me you’re afraid to break into an apple orchard of all places?”

Realization dawns in Wylan’s eyes and he falls in love with this brave, golden boy all over again. “Let’s go, then, scale a few walls?”

And then they're running towards the wall, bright laughter ringing out behind them, like a trail of love and happiness, Jesper vaults up onto the wall and then pulls Wyan up, they jump down on the other side, but Wylan trips, and they land in a tangle of messy limbs and sharp elbows. Jesper looks like he’s about to say something sarcastic, but Wylan kisses him, effectively stopping all effective communication on his part.

They break apart and sit up, still laughing, and reluctant to move away from each other. Wylan wishes that he could stop time forever right here in this perfect moment, Jesper’s brighter than sunlight smile, his for all of time.

They slowly get up off the ground, and Jesper takes off running towards the nearest tree, calling for Wylan to follow him.

Wylan laughs and runs after him, keeping up with his long legs, proving to be a challenge, but Wylan’s up for it, and he catches up soon enough.

Jesper swings himself up using one of the low hanging branches, and Wylan can’t get enough of how he looks, silhouetted by the bright sunlight, the picture of confidence, as he walks across the branch with a wicked confident smile on his face, that makes Wylan’s heart skip a few beats. It can’t possibly be good for his heart to try and beat itself out of his chest, could it? He wonders absentmindedly to himself.

“Will you just stand there gawking or will you help me with apples, love” jesper teases, from the branch, while expertly plucking a ruby red apple and throwing it down towards Wylan.

He catches it with just a small fumble and grins up at Jesper, “I sure as hell can catch your wonky throws while gawking.”

“Game on, then you pyromaniac”

“I might be a pyromaniac, but you can’t deny that I'm your pyromaniac,” Wylan says while trying to catch the dozen apples Jesper throws at him in quick succession.

Jesper jumps down from the tree with a soft adoring smile on his face, he cups his face in his hands and kisses him lightly, it reminds him of buttery sunshine and beautiful days, when the skies are blue and he can get lost in the symphonies of his flute.

They break away, giggling and laughing, and go back to apple picking, always near each other but not quite sticking to each other, like two suns, forever pulled to each other, a system in perfect harmony.

They finish picking apples, and meander back towards the gates, rather than climb a wall this time, they sneak out from the front gates, guilty smiles on their face, Jesper seems to walk more freely, Wylan notices absentmindedly, as if some invisible weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

As they walk side by side, Jesper brushes a shoulder against him and asks, “So you asked my father where we could go on a date, huh?”

Wylan’s face flushes red, “I..I did, he said it used to be a childhood memory,” He looks up at him inquisitively.”

A soft smile replaces the mischievous smile on Jesper’s face as he says in a soft voice, meant for recollecting rose tinted memories and whispering secret daydreams, “My mom, she made it a tradition, every year we’d go to the same orchard, it was the one day i had my parents all to myself, you know.”

Wylan nods along, watching Jesper sink deep into his memories, he knows they’ll have a thousand traditions like that, that they’ll make their own memories, already are making them. If you’d told a younger Wylan that he would get to have this life, he'd have told you that fairytales don’t come true, but right then Wylan felt his life come pretty close to that perfect fairytale he had always dreamt of.

Tagging some of you, who i think would like this...tell me if you wanna be removed or added

@wilhxlminxx @im-someone-i-guess @herondalesunsetcurve @jesper-fahey-supremacy @theshadowhunter (idk if you read soc yet)

[venactricisfics]

Malibu Desert

It hurts like hell.

Tags: @wonderlust75 @sickofbitches @lexiibishop @noz4a2 @just1bri @redwolfs-world @queenbeered

Master List

Twenty-One

I could feel the spinning of the lights in my head as we finally made it to the hospital. It hurt. I don’t know what I expected a gunshot to feel like. But imagining and knowing are so far apart. The pain let me know I was still living.

“How the fuck did this happen?” I could hear Bishop talking to someone in the room.

“It was an fucking ambush,” Hank’s voice answered. “How’s she doing?”

“Bullet went through. Lost a lot of blood,” Bishop answered, “but she’s strong. They said she should be coming around soon.”

I groan feeling the pain still shooting through my shoulder as I start to sit up, “It hurts like a son of a bitch.”

“You were fucking shot, Hermana,” Hank says, “I’ll get a nurse, then go check on Riz and Coco.” He stands and heads out of the room.

“What happened to Coco?” I ask weakly.

“The explosion,” Bishop answered, “his eyes got fucked up. Angel and Gilly are with him now.”

“And Riz?” my eyes search his.

“Just came out of surgery,” he replied. “Rest now.”

“I just want to go home,” I look past him at the nurse, “when can I go home?”

“Should be able to go home today,” she says, “Doctor will be in here soon to confirm.” She hands me a cup with pain pills and a cup of water, “Those should help. You can arrange physical therapy with the medical center in Santo Padre.”

An hour later, I’m fitted in a sling and sitting in a wheelchair. A clear plastic bag in my lap holding my bloody clothes and broken heels. “They were my favorite pair,” I looked back at Bishop who was pushing my chair to the lobby where the rest of the Mayans were waiting. I give a nod to Coco sitting in his own chair.

“I’m sitting down with the Kings in the morning,” Bishop says.

Coco looks up, “Why? This is a charter play.” I knew what that meant.

“The deal with Charming affects the whole MC,” Bishop responds.

“They fucking ambushed us,” Gilly’s voice getting louder behind Coco. “After a fucking sit down.”

“I know,” Bishop said. I could see the turmoil in his face as he looked from Coco to me and the rest of the Mayans. The right thing. The right thing for his guys, the club, for me wasn’t an easy thing.

“Let’s get home,” Hank stated, “Get some rest. Put this on the table tomorrow.”

“Creep and I will stay with Riz,” Taza says.

“Keep me in the loop,” I look up at him, “he saved me.”

“Of course,” he leans down and gives me a peck on the cheek, “Anyone of us would have done the same, cariño.” I knew it. Riz proved it.

“Let’s get the fuck outta here,” Bishop stated, then pushes my chair out the front door to the van waiting outside. I settled behind Gilly who was driving us back letting Coco ride shotgun. The ride back was silent. Anger clung to the air. It was raw and it was real. I couldn’t shake the image of El Palo’s eyes as they stared at me before he pulled the trigger. He never met me before that day and he hated me.

“Hey, we’re here,” Gilly called back to me. The van door slid open and EZ grabbed my bags and Angel took my hand and helped me down. I was groggy from the drugs but I could still feel the pain in my shoulder.

“I’ll drive you home tomorrow,” Bishop led me up the steps and down the hall to the dorm, “the Kings will be here early.” I take a seat on the bed. I tried not to think about how many cum stains were on the mattress. I was exhausted.

“I have to call the Irish,” I grumbled as Bishop helped me off with my shoes. “Whatever I tell them will change what goes on with Charming and with you.”

“I know, querida,” he kissed my forehead and pulled back the blanket, and tucked me under. “I can’t tell you how to land on that shit. We gotta figure out the best call for all of us.”

I woke the next morning to the piercing ring of my phone, I cried out in pain as I remembered my shoulder had a fucking whole-blown in it. Bishop had already gotten dressed and was likely at the table. Figuring out what to do about the VM.

“Hello?” I answered.

“Are ya alright, lass?” the thick Irish accent of Declan Brogan asked. “Chibs told us what happened at the meeting last night.”

“I’ll be ok,” I winced as I placed my arm back in the sling, then down the pills, Bishop left on the nightstand. “Is there any other way to keep the business going without that new partner?”

“I’ve put it to Chibs to find another way, but the fucking Mexicans fucked this up,” he responded, “never trusted them.”

“You never trust anyone that has a deeper tan than off-white,” I shuffle to my feet. “I can’t see the Mayans' answer to what happened being anything but retaliation.”

“Aye,” he replied, “if they don’t we will.”

“And that will cause everything to fall the fuck apart,” I wasn’t sure what to do. “I’ll talk to you soon.”

I never realized how hard it was doing things with one hand. I washed up in the bathroom and struggled to change my shirt and slide my pants up over my hips. Fortunately, I found yoga pants and one of Bishop’s black tanks stashed here. I look up as I hear a knock on the door.

“Yo, Malibu,” Angel saunters in, “Bish sent me to see if you needed any help.”

“I got the front bandage changed,” I said, “just need help with the back. My bra is hooked all wonky, can you fix that? And tying my shoes. How are your ponytail skills?”

“You’re asking for a lot,” he said, taking the sterile bandage from the table and then sat behind me on the bed.

“You saying you can’t handle it?” I flinch a little as his hand touches my back gently. Angel changed the bandage expertly. I was almost shocked.

“Na, just used to taking bras off not putting them on,” he fumbles, fixing the hooks, “I am a pro at that too.” Proud of himself he pulls the back of my shirt back down. He ties my sneakers and takes my hairbrush from me and brushes the tangles from my hair.

“I’m surprised,” I smooth my hair with my only available hand. “Thank you.”

“You scared us last night, Malibu,” Angel’s voice didn’t have the same tone as normal. “Can’t have you getting killed.”

“I’ll keep that in mind the next time someone shoots at me,” I offer a smile and walk with him down the hall. Gilly slides a chair out for me and sets a beer on the table in front of me. “Bishop?”

“The kings,” he points to the stained glass door.

“How are you feeling?” I asked Coco. He looked out of it. Wasn’t sure if it was the pain or the anger that gave him that look.

“Fucked,” he replied and took another drag from his cigarette. I nodded. I didn’t know his exact diagnosis but I did know that if his eyesight didn’t improve he couldn’t ride. If he couldn’t ride he couldn’t wear a patch. And for him the patch was everything. Coco’s family outside of the MC was beyond fucked up.

I turn, watching the kings and their crew file out of the stained glass door. I met Bishop’s troubled eyes with my own. The weight of things. Whatever decision either of us made would fuck things up for someone else.

“They heading out?” Gilly asked as the clubhouse door closed behind the other kings.

“They’re staying at Vicki’s until we sort this out,” Hank answered.

“What’s to sort out?” Coco inquired.

“You’re a smart man, Coco,” Bishop stated. “You know what’s at stake here.”

“Yeah,” he replied, “My fucking eyesight. It don’t get better I may never fucking ride again.”

Bishop looked at me then back to Coco, “We’re looking at millions of dollars in gun revenue for the entire Mayan organization.”

“So the CEOs of the Mayans Incorporated are deciding what’s best huh?” Coco’s one eye narrowed as he stood, “I hope y’all came up with a medical plan cause I’m gonna fucking need it.” Then storms out the front door.

“I’ll stay close,” Gilly followed after him. Bishop nodded and paced the floor. After asking Hank to reach out to Alverez, he looked at me. I could see the weariness in his eyes. He hadn’t slept since we got back. He carried it all with him. Coco, Riz, me. He bore that weight on his shoulders.

I stand following Bishop to a corner table. “I’m here, babe,” I tell him, my hand laying over his, “whatever you need.”

“I know, querida,” he kissed my temple, “I know.” I should have told him what Declan said but I couldn’t lay another burden on him. Not now. Not until they decided.

---

I sit at the table alone nursing a beer, watching the stained glass again. I lost count of the minutes that I’d waited for a club decision for anything. This time Bishop was getting council from Marcus. Bishop needed that guiding hand. That family connection to point him in the right direction. Or to encourage him to forge his own path. He was after all a king in his own right.

“I can take you to Vicki’s if you’d like,” Hank said when he exited the room.

“I’ll wait for Bishop,” I give him a smile, “has he eaten anything?”

“Have you?” he responded.

“I’m supposed to take care of you,” I tell him.

“And we’re supposed to take care of you, cariño,” he said, “if something worse than this,” he points to my sling, “had happened to you, it would break him.”

I nodded, “If anything happened to him,” I look at the big biker, “well I’m just hoping you don’t let me find out what would happen without him.”

I stood up when the stained glass slides open again and Marcus and Bishop walk out of Templo. “We’ll have to meet sometime when someone hasn’t just tried to kill me,” I give the former biker a peck on the cheek.

“When this is all settled,” he replied, “I’ll have my wife give you a call and we’ll have dinner or something.” He glances back at Bishop with a nod, “Primo.” Then left through the front door.

The Mayans dropped their phones in the basket outside the stained glass door, I watch as it closed behind them. The vote for payback. The pain in my shoulder wanted fucking vengeance, for myself, for Coco, and for Riz. But I knew that the deal with the VM was the one thing that kept the Irish guns in the hands of the Mayans.

I took a sip from my Diet Coke feeling every tick of the clock pulsing through my vein. The pain, stress of the wrong decision. I jump at the sound of the door being forcefully slung open and Coco storming out muttering curses in Spanish I didn’t understand. I didn’t know whether to be relieved or upset at the ‘No Vengeance’ vote.

I waited, watching as each man came out of Templo, none of them seemed fully satisfied with the vote but they knew it was the best thing for the club. Bishop slides the chair out beside mine and stuffs a cigarette between his lips. He doesn’t say a word for a long time. He doesn’t have to, I can feel how heavy the crown had become.

“If I didn’t have to think about the entire fucking club,” he said resting his hand on mine, “I’d kill every last one of those motherfuckers.”

“I know,” I replied. “It’ll work itself out.” I didn’t have a chance to tell him what Declan said to me this morning. The Vatos would be dead for what happened. By Mayan King or Irish.

I give his hand a gentle squeeze, preparing the words, to let him know that the deal would be dead no matter what. “Bishop…” I’m interrupted by the vibration of his phone.

“Shit,” Bishop said softly to his caller. “I’ll let them know.” His chair scrapes the floor as he stands. “Riz didn’t make it. Just spoke to Taza. He died about fifteen minutes ago. The vote is null and void,” he watches the faces of his men, “We’re going to war.”

---

Neither of us slept very well. How do you sleep when the person who saved your life lost his in the process?

“Can you stay with Vicki until we figure this shit out?” he asked as he helps me get dressed. “I won’t be able to help you. And she can use someone to be there with her.”

“Yeah,” I place my arm in the sling after smoothing my shirt down. “I can do that. Do you need help with anything else?”

“No, mi Amor,” he pressed a soft kiss to my forehead, “just for this shit to be done.”

He carries my overnight bag and places it in the back seat of my SUV, then helps me in the passenger’s seat. We rode in silence across the desert road to Vicki’s. Bikes were lined up, the club had already arrived.

“You need anything,” Bishop told Vicki, “don’t hesitate…” Vicki sobbed her acknowledgment then buried her face again in Taza’s chest. I didn’t speak enough Spanish to make out exactly what she said, but I could feel Vicki’s pain. Her heart was crumbling in pieces.

“Riz was her only family this side of the border,” Gilly said. I nod looking for something to do someway to help but there was nothing. And every inch of the place had a biker standing in it.

“Sit down, Princesa irlandesa,” Oso Ramos said to me. “You’re trying to do too much.”

“And you’re not trying to do enough,” I said back. I saw them circling Bishop like vultures. I knew they were trying to convince him to change his decision. “How many casualties do you think would justify it? Would you have a different view if the dead Mayan had an Oakland flash?”

“This is not the fucking time or /your/ place,” Ramos responded.

“I guess it’s not,” I stormed off, running smack into Angel’s chest as I head into the kitchen.

“Watch where you’re going, Malibu,” he said.

“Get out of my fucking way,” I responded. I needed out and Angel was blocking my escape. After I had a clear head. I sat down at the kitchen table and pull a cigarette out of an abandoned pack, I place it between my lips and flick a lighter, leaning into the flame. The burn of the smoke as I inhaled was soothing. I was able to focus again.

“Thought you didn’t smoke,” Angel said behind me.

“I don’t,” I inhale again flicking the ash in the tray. I wanted to wipe the tears from my face but I had no free hands. “Sorry about before.” He nodded then pulled a chair out to sit beside me, lighting a cigarette of his own.

“I didn’t know Riz well,” I said, “I know he liked to sing softly to himself in Spanish when he was working on his bike in the garage. I know he kept an arrowhead in the pocket of his kutte with his cigarettes. And I know that even though he didn’t really know me,” I sniffed, “he dove in front of a bullet to save my life.” I could feel the tears start pouring down my face. I couldn’t hold back the sobs. Angel wrapped his arms around my shoulders and let me cry. I let out everything I’d been holding in over the last several days.

“You’re snotting all over my shirt, Malibu,” he said.

“It’s fucking ugly anyway,” I responded.

[criminalminds4days]

Family Matters | Chapter 7: Happy Birthday

Hello people!!

I know I just came back, but school and work are really kicking my butt. I have virtual events, classes, projects and papers... On top of that I have to go to work and I barely have enough time to sleep. I am hoping I'll be able to keep writing, and I already have some chapter written in advance but who knows how my life will be by the time we reach the end of those chapters...

Anyway, I hope you guys are having a good week and a good year so far. Enjoy the chapter and let me know what you think!

P.S. keep in mind I did not have time to proof read this, so it might be wonky.

Warnings: Swearing, sexual references, violence and murder references, public embarrassment, and very bad jokes!

Word Count: 5.2k

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Tag list: @mcntsee @lets-be-gay-for-the-angel @evelyncade @haylaansmi @paulaern @myfandomlife-blog

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(This gif is not mine)

Chapter 7: Happy Birthday

It was now time to get everything set up for Reid's surprise birthday party. She was still not talking to him, but something within her didn't allow her to abandon the idea of celebrating his day of birth. She wanted so bad to stop wanting to be his friend and talk to him, be around him and hear him laugh, but she just couldn't bring herself to do it.

"You're gonna let us know your decision soon?" She almost fell down the chair she was on.

"Can you not scare me to death, please?"

"Well stop keeping us in suspense."

"Emily," she stepped down from the chair and used it to sit. "I didn't accept the position, in fact, I told Luke that same day. To help him with his bosses being on his ass I said I would think about it, but I'm going to email them soon to say I won't be transferring. I don't know how Garcia found out but she didn't let me explain that I wasn't even leaving. Then all of you barged in and I just thought it would be funny to let you guys believe I was gonna leave."

"And you've had us in suspense for two days?! Do you know how devastated Reid is? He probably thinks that's why you won't speak to him!"

"That's not the reason I don't talk to him, I ignore him because he's a cheater!" Her mouth closed fast after saying those words.

"What do you mean? Did he cheat at poker or something?"

"No, just forget about it."

"Tell me!"

"No necesitas saber," She said in Spanish. Telling Emily she didn't need to know.

"¿Se te olvida a caso que también hablo español?"

"Yes, I totally forgot you spoke Spanish." She placed for a little bit, deciding whether to tell her or not. "I saw Reid and JJ a couple of weeks ago and they were in a very friendly situation, to say the least."

"Were they making out or something?" She shook her head, and Emily smiled. "Listen, I honestly don't think that they have something going on."

"You didn't see what I did."

"That's true, but I am also not emotionally involved."

"I'm not emotionally involved."

"Sure you aren't." She winked, "does Hotch know you're staying?"

"He was there when I turned down the offer originally."

"That little prick, he's mentioned nothing to me!"

"To you? Interesting." Before Emily could correct herself she had already made her way to the sitting area, setting all the dishes and cups. She looked it over one more time before deciding it was good. "I have to change, I will be back in a half-hour. Everybody should be arriving by then, do you mind just checking that everything is good while I'm gone?"

"Yeah, though it seems rather interesting that you're having a birthday party for a 'cheater' don't you think?"

"It's also weird that you expected Hotch to tell you specifically, rather than the team, things like my possible transfer."

"That's not what I meant."

"Oh, but it is."

"No, it's not!"

"Yes, it is, now bye!" With those last words, she exited the building.

She paced her room. She had about thirty minutes before Spencer arrived and she was about ten minutes away, so she still had some time to figure out what she was going to say or do once the party began. She knew someone would tell him it was she who organized the party, and that would only raise more questions about her current behavior towards him.

"I had already planned it, and I couldn't get a reimbursement for the salon." She said to the mirror. "No, that might be too mean. How about, Whatever else is going on, I am glad you're alive. No, that's too nice." She rubbed her eyes, frustrated with her responses, and then, the best idea she would come up with came to her and she couldn't pass up the opportunity.

Would it backfire? Most likely, but that didn't mean she wasn't gonna try her best for it to not. With one final look at the mirror, she grabbed her keys and made her way to the venue. When she arrived all the cars from her co-workers were parked, except for JJ's, who out of the goodness of her heart had offered to drive the birthday boy. She wouldn't be surprised if Will didn't attend the event, because that would give them some alone time. Absorbed by this thought she almost didn't notice that almost immediately after she exited her car, JJ, Spencer and Will pulled up in their car. When she noticed them she squealed and ducked, but it had been a little too loud, as all three of them turned to her and saw as she very awkwardly tried to hide by ducking next to her car. She sighed and stood up, waving at the trio.

"Dropped a contact." She weakly explained.

"You don't use contracts, nor glasses for that matter." Spencer reminded her.

"No, but my friend does, and she left them in my car, and when I got out, I ended up dropping one."

"Well, it might be time to go in," JJ said, trying to salvage the surprise.

"Why didn't you tell me you were coming?" Spencer asked her.

"I... I didn't know I was, it was sort of a last-minute thing."

"Oh, okay." He looked at her expectantly, as if hoping she would acknowledge the date and congratulate him. That was one of the few things that contrasted his serious demeanor, those small moments in which he would just act like a child and have that twinkle in his eyes.

"Anyway, why don't I go ahead and go inside and you guys catch up later."

"No, you can stay with us. I mean, you can be my date. Today doesn't feel like the day to be the third wheel." He gave her another expectant look, hoping she would ask what made today special, or simply acknowledge she knew what day it was. "Besides, we haven't really seen much of each other lately."

"Yeah, life's crazy. Let me take a rain check on that though. I'll see you all later!" She tried to walk inside but he took her arm, preventing her from leaving.

"Are you mad at me?"

"No, she's just trying to prevent you from finding out about your surprise birthday party before we get a chance to say surprise." Spoke the one and only Derek Morgan. They turned to find all of their friends at the entrance with amused smiles on their faces.

"Surprise!" They exclaimed and his eyes lit up even more, if that was possible, at the sight.

"Can you let me go now, please?" He nodded and mumbled an apology as he let go of her arm, she moved next to Emily and avoided all eye contact with everybody.

"Way to go champ, you almost ruined it." The woman jokingly whispered in her ear.

"Happy birthday Spencer!" Everybody said.

"Thank you guys, this means so much to me. I can't believe you all took the time to plan this."

"Actually, it was all-"

"Emily! This was all Emily's idea." She exclaimed before JJ could finish the sentence.

"Well, thank you so much, Emily." He said to her. She couldn't help but notice a small hint of disappointment in his tone, but she decided to not read too much into it.

"Yeah, you're welcome." This one said, shooting a glance at her friend. "How about we go inside and get some food?" Everybody cheered and they all made their way to the table that she had set up earlier.

"So my idea, huh?" She mumbled.

"Shut up Emily, you don't need to read into everything."

"I'm not reading into stuff, it's all just out in the open."

"Whatever."

The dinner had gone great, everyone seemed to be having a great time, especially the birthday boy, though something kept bugging him and she wasn't sure what it was.

"So, have you made a decision about your transfer?" He directly asked her once the conversation had died down.

"Are you asking me?"

"Is anyone else considering a transfer?"

"Touche." She instinctively looked at Emily and Hotch, who casually were sitting next to each other, 'out in the open' she immediately thought. Emily gave her a pointed look while her boss simply nodded slightly. "I'm still thinking. Luke made some really interesting points about the position."

"For example, his deep voice." Emily teased.

"A raise in salary." She countered.

"How do you even know Agent Alvez? I heard of him, but I didn't even know what he looked like before this week." Garcia questioned.

"He was a mentor, per se, when I was finishing up my courses at the academy. I ended up going on my first mission as a graduate with him and his team, I was actually going to start with them when Hotch requested me for the BAU."

Everybody seemed a little impressed by this knowledge. It was true she never really shared her stories, and it was mostly because they were filled with embarrassment, but this was work-related, so it seemed okay.

There seemed to be more questions emerging but before they could be asked, footsteps were heard at the entrance, and soon enough, Anna, Tyler, her aunt Becky (Anna's mother), and her mom walked in.

"Who in the-"

"Happy birthday to my favorite son-in-law!" Her mother cheered and before he even had a chance to stand up he was already engulfed into a hug.

"Son-in-law? Reid, is there something we need to know?" Questioned Derek.

"What are you guys doing here?" She spoke, feeling her throat dry out.

"Well, your mom told us it was Spencer's birthday and that you organized a birthday dinner for him, so we thought we would stop by and congratulate him," Anna said.

"Wait, that's your mom?!" Garcia asked.

"Is there something you two need to share with the rest of us?" This time the question came from Hotch.

She turned to the uninvited guests and gave them the fakest smile to ever exist. "Family, can I have a word with you all, outside? Now."

"Aren't you gonna introduce us to your team?" Her cousin asked, a smile playing on her lips.

"Yes, of course." She turned to Emily, begging with her eyes for help.

"Aaron, do you mind coming with me to my car. I seemed to have left something there."

"Right now?"

"Yes right now. It's important." She basically dragged him out of the venue, and she took a deep breath.

"Well, Mother, Anna, Tyler, and Aunt Becky," she signaled to the uninvited attendees. "This is my team, Penelope Garcia, SSA Morgan, SSA Jareau, and her husband detective Will, SSA Rossi, and you already know Dr. Reid. Team, this is my family."

"Pardon me if I sound rude by pointing this out, but you seem familiar," Derek mentioned.

"Well duh, we're one of the wealthiest families out there. The Blackwood family is very well known, and we've had our fair share of magazine covers." Anna said with glee.

"Blackwood? Wait, that's your last name, but you go by-"

"ANYWAY!" She interrupted JJ, "let us congratulate the birthday boy and celebrate, let's worry about titles later!" She grabbed her mother away from Spencer and placed her and the rest of her family in additional chairs that were part of the venue.

"So, how old are you turning Spencer?" Tyler asked, with a hint of annoyance.

"Thirty." The mentioned responded. Both of them stared at each other and she couldn't decide if what was happening between them was pure hatred or sexual tension.

"I thought you didn't like older men that much."

"It is of wise people to change their mind." She responded.

"I honestly feel like I am missing so much information right now," Derek said out loud.

"Same." JJ and Penelope added.

"I think I have a somewhat good idea of what's happening," Rossi said.

"Well, as a gift from me and my daughter, here are the keys to the Noire museum downtown. I personally think it would be fantastic for your children to grow up going there every weekend or something."

"Mother!" She exclaimed.

"Thank you, but I can't accept that, it is too much." Spencer intervened.

"Nonsense. You are the only son-in-law I will ever have; let my daughter and I spoil you."

"Yes Reid, let your future mother and future wife spoil you," Rossi spoke, a hint of glee in his eyes.

"Have you proposed already?!"

"No!" They both exclaimed. She had no idea how much more of this she could take.

"Okay, let me get this straight, Reid and you have been dating, and you didn't tell any of us?! How long has this been going on?"

"Well-"

"One year, and about four months, right cousin?" Anna was asking to get murdered.

"Actually, it's one year five months, and six days since we met, but we've only been together for one year three months and 4 days. Unless I confused my numbers again." He gave her a look and she fought the urge to not smile. Sure, she had to pretend they were a couple, but she was still mad at him.

"Reid getting his numbers wrong?" Will whispered.

"Yeah, because of his dyslexia," Tyler said as if it was obvious.

"Of course, his dyslexia! How could we forget Will?" JJ added. She looked completely surprised and kept glancing back between Spencer and her, but her tone was controlled, making sure the non-profilers in the room would not see through her. She couldn't help but wonder if the blonde was at all upset by the situation, after all, if she was right JJ was Spencer's girlfriend. The reminder made her frown, but she soon erased it from her face: one problem at a time.

"Well, this was grand, getting to know each other but I am sure you guys have a long drive and-"

"Don't worry cousin, we made time for the party. After all, Spencer is practically family, and you two are just so perfect for each other."

After her words, the steps of Emily and Hotch made the room go silent. He gave her a knowing look and took his previous seat as well as her friend who gave her a wink. This was going to be a disaster.

"So cousin, you guys hadn't told anybody about your relationship? Why keep it a secret?"

"The FBI has very strict policies, and both agents needed to demonstrate that their work in the field would not be affected by their relationship, and it hasn't," Aaron said, giving her a faint nod.

"Wait, but what does that mean for your transfer?" Garcia asked. Her eyes opened in shock because nothing could ever go right.

"What transfer?" Her aunt Becky questioned.

"I got offered a position with the team I did my first case with. But that's really not gonna change my relationship with Spencer. It's not like I'm leaving the country if I accept it. If anything I would spend more time in D.C."

"Interesting."

"Listen, family, I really appreciated having you here and taking the time to come and congratulate Spencer, I'm sure he's so happy that you guys could be here, but it's getting late and since all of us have to be back in the office tomorrow morning we're probably gonna call it a night soon."

"Of course darling." Her mother winked at her and Spencer as if suggesting that was not the reason the two wanted people gone.

"Before we leave though, we would love to get a picture of the two of you. It's not every day you get to celebrate your partner's birthday number thirty." The annoying blonde she had for a cousin suggested.

"Maybe another time."

"No, I think that's a great idea." Morgan chipped.

"Sure, why not?" Spencer said casually.

Was this man crazy? Did he not understand that their boss was right there and this could cost them their careers?!

She sighed and approached the brunette she placed her arms around his torso as he enveloped her in a hug, they smiled for the camera and waited a few seconds for pictures to be taken.

"Now Kiss!" Anna said and followed by that Garcia and Morgan joined her in a chorus of "kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss." The rest of the team, except for Hotch joined in, and she made sure to remember to kill Emily at her next best opportunity.

She cursed internally and turned her face, meeting his eyes for the first time in days. Sure, they had made accidental eye contact from time to time in the last few days, but she had tried her hardest to make it rare, and now she felt somewhat vulnerable. He gave her a small nod and leaned in, his lips touching hers ever so softly. It had been over two months since they had last kissed, but she could remember the taste as if it was yesterday.

A couple of minutes and cheers later they broke apart, his hand immediately reaching for hers. She tried not to wince or remove it, but it seemed like an impossible challenge.

"So cute!" The woman said, disgust in her voice. "Anyway, happy birthday Spence, here are some books that we thought you might like." She placed them on the table and attempted to walk towards him and hug him, but both she and Spencer made it clear that was not an option. There was something about her spanking him during the retreat that didn't really sit well with either of them. "You two are just made for each other, aren't you?" She commented before walking back towards her husband.

"Happy birthday Spencer, I hope the next time we see each other it's to ask me about an engagement ring." Her mother squeezed his cheeks and planted a kiss on each one to later repeat the process on her daughter. Aunt Becky simply waved and Tyler gave the couple a head nod before the four left the building.

There was a silence, she let go of his hand rather abruptly and separated herself from him a couple of inches as the rest of the team observed them. "Should I go set up the karaoke machine?" She asked as she tried to navigate the room.

"You should tell us why none of us knew the two of you were a thing," Morgan said.

"Agreed." The rest of the team said.

"Really, Emily you too?"

"That kiss made me doubt."

"Let me just make sure they're gone." She walked towards the entrance, as her mother's vehicle drove away she sighed with relief and made her way back to the table. "All right, let us get this over with."

"Why didn't you tell us you two were dating?" Penelope asked.

"Because we're not." She responded.

"Really? Then what was all that?" Morgan arched an eyebrow, clearly not impressed by her response.

"I asked Dr. Reid to pretend to be my boyfriend for a family event because my cousin kept telling me she was better than me and I was gonna end up alone because I was horrible and-" everybody observed her, the message clear. "Okay, she didn't say that exactly but the intention was clear! Anyway, because he went with me now my family thinks we're a couple and we have to pretend we are."

"That can't be it, please tell me you're lying and you two are actually in love," Penelope begged.

"Sorry, but Dr. Reid and I are simply co-workers who got caught in a big lie because of my big mouth." She shrugged, "Hotch, I promise, you have nothing to worry about."

"I know." He said, but something in his tone suggested otherwise.

"But that kiss though. It seemed more real than it should." JJ pointed out.

She looked at her, wanting to say something to hint that she knew about her and Spencer and that she knew that comment was coming from a place of jealousy, but she decided against it. She simply rolled her eyes, as if disregarding said kiss and made her way to the karaoke machine.

After everyone had moved on from the conversation and had begun cheering at those who participated by singing one or two songs, she decided to take a little break and get some air.

“If I didn’t know any better I would say you hate me or something.”

“I don’t hate you.”

“Then what is it, because ignoring me and barely answering me isn’t cutting it anymore. I thought we were friends.”

“JJ, there are just some things that I can’t condone.”

“Like what?”

“Cheating.”

“I didn’t cheat, I was the first one to the office, so I grabbed the first doughnut. I am sorry if you liked chocolate glazed ones.”

“I am not talking about that! Though I am a little upset about that too!”

“Then what did I do?”

“Are you sleeping with Spencer?”

After those words came out of her mouth and JJ processed them, the blonde couldn’t help but laugh her ass off. She observed as the woman continued to laugh without a sign of stopping soon. “Me, and Spencer?” she asked between laughs, “Have you seen this?” She pointed at the ring in her hand and began to draw images with her hands as if hoping to represent that she was married, and she and Spencer were nothing but friends, she even confessed to her second pregnancy, something only Spencer knew about. But the other woman didn’t really understand, she thought everything was signaling at her avoiding to answer. “You are a funny one! Now, let’s go back inside, I will buy you a whole box of glazed doughnuts on Monday.” She managed to say as she continued to laugh, “me and Spencer? Hilarious!”

After watching her enter the venue, she waited before following suit. The whole scene seemed bizarre at best. Her confrontation had backfired and now she was back to square one on that front. On the bright side, she would be getting her chocolate glazed doughnuts so not everything was lost.

After two more hours, the venue was completely empty. Though they didn't have to go into the office the next day as she had told her mother, they all were more than happy to sleep early when given the opportunity. She had stayed behind to clean up some of the areas, hoping to make it easier for the cleaning crew the next morning.

"Do you need help with that?"

She jumped at the voice. "Jesus! What is it with you people and trying to give me a heart attack?" She said to the brunette.

"Sorry, I just wanted to help."

"Shouldn't you be heading home?"

"That's the thing, JJ and Will got a call from the nanny and they had to go. I was in the restroom, so I didn't know and they, well they left me behind." He looked really embarrassed by the situation.

Don't do it, she told herself. Don't say the words that you're thinking, she urged. "I can give you a ride home." She said despite her best efforts.

"Thank you."

"Yeah, no problem."

She turned back to her duty and the silence that engulfed them was so awkward she almost backed out from giving him a ride home.

"What did I do?"

"Excuse me?"

"I'm a profiler, you know? And I'd like to think I'm good at my job. I know you're mad at me, I just wish I knew why."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Please, I can't keep going on like this. I miss you, I miss spending time together, joking around, and just being us. I really miss it and I will do anything so we can go back to being friends."

"Dr. Reid, six months ago we weren't even friends." She pointed out.

"But four days ago we were."

"Are you sleeping with JJ?" She blurted out before she processed the words.

His face went from confusion to amusement and soon he was laughing his ass off. Great, now both of them had laughed at her.

"Me and JJ? You do know she's married, right?" He said between laughs.

"Not everyone that gets married is faithful."

"You're mad at me because you thought JJ was cheating on Will with me? Why would you even think that?"

"I saw you two at the office the other day."

"JJ asked me to be the godfather of her second child. She's pregnant. And no, it's not mine." His smile grew wider as the laughter stopped as if knowing she thought he was cheating was the best news he could receive.

"Oh." She mumbled, everything making sense. JJ’s reaction, the whole signing, and laughing. The idea seemed so foreign to both of them she couldn’t help but feel like an idiot for thinking it to be a possibility. She wanted to hide under a rock and never come out again. How could she possibly think that the two of them would do such a thing? Now that she had all the pieces the idea seemed so far-fetched she couldn't even understand what led her down that path. "I-I'm sorry, I interpreted everything wrong."

"I'm glad you did though." He said, placing his hand on her shoulder. "It gave me a really important insight."

"About what?"

"I need to tell you something." He said, and his other hand moved a strand of hair behind her ear. She couldn't help but think this was all too similar to a movie and how horrible that was, and yet how much she wished she was part of a movie in that precise moment. A part of her already knew where this was going and she felt all bubbly inside at the notion. "I like you."

"I like you too Spencer. You're my best friend." She spoke, completely shattering her internalized movie.

"No, I like you romantically. If it was up to me that kiss would have not been as short nor as innocent as it was."

"Why are you being a dumbass?" She said as she pushed his hands off her shoulders. "Quit playing, let's get you home."

He shook his head, slightly annoyed by how dense she was. "Will you please stop for a minute? I am trying to tell you about my feelings for you because I have been hiding them for days and every time I see you I want to kiss you and hold your hand. When I saw Luke and you, first I thought he was kind of hot, but then I saw him as a threat, and I was dying to punch him in the face. Because I want to be more than your best friend. I've probably wanted to be more than your friend for a really long time, but it took Emily barging into my hotel room and scaring Derek into the cafeteria for me to realize it and now I know that you must feel something for me, otherwise why on earth would you get so upset about the idea of JJ and I having an affair?  So, can you please put the pieces together and come here so we can make out in the middle of a salon on my birthday like I dreamt last night?"

"You're joking, right?" She said, her heartbeat speeding up, half of her body wanting to run and the other half wanting to do exactly what Spencer had suggested. Well, it was more of an eighty percent for staying and twenty percent for running.

"Do I look like I'm joking?"

"You actually like me?"

"Yes! And I'm pretty sure you like me."

"I mean, sure, you're funny and a great friend. Not to mention cute, well I guess we have to be honest here, you're hot, like really hot, but just because I see that doesn't mean I like you, does it?"

"Do you want to kiss me right now?"

"Yes! Wait, no! I mean yes! I-"

"Let me help you out a little with that." Before she could ask how Spencer had already shortened the distance between them, placing his lips on her. This was the first time they had kissed without an audience, or as a part of their fake relationship. To prove how real this was, Spencer didn't hold back. First, his hands were on her cheeks, but they slowly moved to her hair, hips, and pretty much anywhere he could find. Hers never left his hair, appreciating how soft it actually was and the fact that despite his immense love of his hair and that he despised people touching it, not once had he complained.

She thought back on her conversations with Emily, on how Reid always made her feel safe. Sitting on a couch with her head resting on his shoulder had felt so right, and the idea of losing him to JJ had made her spiral. She knew that Will's feelings were not going to be the only ones hurt if it had been true. She wanted him.

She liked him.

It was so ridiculously obvious that she had to laugh. One would think metaphorically, but since she can't ever have a good moment without ruining it, her body decided to actually laugh, interrupting what had become a heated make-out session. As she tried to stop her laughter, he looked at her, confused.

"That bad?"

"What?" She said between laughter, "no! It's not that, it's just that I am so dumb. How did I not see that I like you so fucking much?" She continued, her laugh subsiding. "Spencer Reid, will you be my real boyfriend?"

"This has to be the best birthday present ever." He smiled, “but I don’t know if I am convinced by this offer."

"How about I second it by offering a make-out session in my car, and instead of driving you to your apartment, you can stay with me tonight?"

"Yes, please!"

“Is that a deal then?”

“How could I ever say no to you.”

After what seemed like a lifetime, but also a blink of an eye, they had made their way to her apartment. His shirt was wrinkled, and both their lips were read as can be. The small hickeys that he had graciously given her were now on full display as her neck was left exposed. She opened the door and he stepped inside after her, making sure to close and lock the entrance.

“Before we go any further, I need to ask.”

“No, Spencer, I am not a virgin.” She responded with a smile.

“That’s not what I was going to ask.” She observed him, encouraging him to continue. “Are you seriously thinking of leaving the BAU to go work with that jerk?”

“First off, he’s not a jerk. You don’t need to be jealous; Luke and I are just friends. And secondly, I turned down the offer as soon as he presented it to me. I was just giving you all a hard time.”

He frowned, clearly not as amused by that knowledge as she was. “There is something you should know.”

“What is it?” Her smile faded as his expression turned to a serious and concerned one.

“I sleep on the right side of the bed.”

“But you said-“

“I know what I said, I simply didn’t want you to feel bad, so I took the left side.”

“Spencer…” They almost fell as she crashed her lips to his. For others, this simple gesture might seem like nothing but knowing he would do something just to accommodate her was somehow so amazing and heartwarming. This knowledge summed by her newfound feelings were giving her the urge to pull him to her bedroom right then and there, but sadly for her, there were still certain things that needed to be addressed. “Before I undress you, and trust me I am dying to do that, I need to request something from you.”

“Anything.”

“Stop wearing tight pants to work.”

“Excuse me?”

“You have a very nice ass, I have noticed. And recently you have decided to use dress pants that don’t let me forget about this knowledge. We need to keep our relationship secret, at least for the time being, and watching you in those pants is not gonna help me, at all.”

“On one condition.”

“Yes?”

“You need to stop wearing blue.”

“But it’s my favorite color!”

“I know, and you look really good in it, like really good. It’s not good for me.” He planted a soft kiss on her neck, and that alone would have made her agreed to pretty much anything he asked.

“Okay, yes.”

“Good, now can we please get to business.”

“Never call us having sex business again.”

“Noted, as long as this isn’t the only time we have sex.”

“As if.”

[aspenflower17]

Finding You (Part Five of ??)

Good morning/afternoon/even/night (which ever one applies to you)! I have another update for you guys! If you’re just joining us, the link to Part One will be down below. You can find the links to the next part at the end of each part (if something is wonky with the links, please just let me know!)

Part 1 

F!Mc / Satan

Tags :D :  @simpingforsatan @naimena @hachimochi @wrathandgreed 

Word Count: 2,083 (story under cut)

Triggers or warnings: angst

Satan growled as he redid his bowtie once again, Lucifer’s words still echoing in his head.

“Are you sure you need to go tonight?” Lucifer was standing on the ground floor of his room, while Satan got ready on the landing at the top of the stairs.

“Yes. How many times are you going to ask me that?”

“I don’t know if it’s a good idea for you to go opening night.”

Satan hoped Lucifer could hear his eye roll, “I can’t imagine why, unless the fact the artist is an angel has your panties in a twist,” the indignant noise Lucifer couldn’t contain made Satan snicker quietly.

“That isn’t the problem.”

“Then what is? You have never had issues with me going to an art show before. I heard Lord Diavolo will be there, so I can’t begin to imagine why I shouldn’t go.”

“Why do you want to go?”

Satan walked all the way over to the railing to give his brother an incredulous look, “Did you seriously just ask me that?” Lucifer took a stance that meant he wanted an answer, making Satan sigh, “Well, why wouldn’t I? I’ve heard about her art in the human realm. I haven’t been able to see any of her works unfortunately, but I’ve read the reviews. If nothing else, I want to say I was at the opening night of the first art show for one of the Celestial Realm’s up and coming artists, which you know doesn’t happen very often. The last angel I can think of who received any mark of recognition for their work outside of the Celestial Realm is Simeon.

“I also think it’s important at least one of us brothers attends the show, which I figured you’d agree with. You’re constantly going on and on about how important our image is and how we need to make sure to ‘understand the gravity of our positions down here as demon lords and as the Avatar’s of Sin’. You’ve already stated you won’t be going, and I have been planning on attending since I heard about it. I really don’t see what the problem is.”

Satan saw a flicker of worry cross Lucifer’s face multiple times while he was talking. He must really not want me to go. But why?

“And you’ve made sure none of our brothers can go with you?”

“Yes. In fact, I’ve asked Levi twice and had a soda bottle thrown at my head the second time for “making him lose the level he was on. I asked both Beel and Belphie three times, which they both declined, Beel stating he would rather stay home because they never had enough food at show openings and Belphie saying he didn’t want to get thrown out of one again for curling up in a statue to sleep. Asmo would come, but he got invited to some party the same night.”

“... What about Mammon?”

Satan blinked a couple times before his brain even began to process what Lucifer had asked, “Huh?”

Lucifer seemed to blink himself, though it could’ve been a trick of the light, “You didn’t mention Mammon.”

Satan opened and closed his mouth a couple times before being able to respond, “You want me. To ask Mammon. The Avatar of Greed. Who steals. And is loud. And uncouth. To go to the opening night of an art exhibition. For an up and coming artist. Who has never shown in the Devildom before. And is an angel… Do I have that correct?”

Lucifer’s resolve looked to be in tatters, and Satan thought he’d drop the whole thing before his resolve returned, “Yes.”

Damn pride.

“You must be joking.”

“If you don’t ask him, I will personally assign him to go with you.”

Satan really couldn’t believe his ears, “Assign him to go with me? Do I look like I’m nine? I do not need a chaperone. I-” the look in Lucifer’s eyes made him stop mid-argument. Is he really that worried?

“Fine, I’ll text him if you’re going to be so insistent. I will only ask once however, and if he does come, I am NOT responsible for his behavior.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I’ve never been ta a art… Whas it called again?”

“And art exhibition.”

“Right, right. Thanks for invitin’ me Satan.”

“Mammon, we need to go over some ground rules here.”

“Course. Whadda ya wanna talk about?”

“First thing, art exhibitions are places of class and refinement. Please, stay quiet and respectful of the atmosphere.”

“Course I’ll do tha’. I’m great at blendin’ into the backgroun’.”

Satan cringed, but continued, “Second, if you steal anything from anyone, I will personally see to it that you are ejected from the show, and thrown into the labyrinth below Diavolo’s castle.”

“OI! Show ya big brother some respect!”

“We are not getting out of this vehicle until you promise me you’re not going to steal or otherwise take things that don’t belong to you.”

“Fine, fine! I promise. Geeze.”

“Third, just please don’t embarrass me. I sent you that page on gallery etiquette for a reason.”

“I read it, don’ worry… Uhhh, Satan. Not to change the subject, but why da ya have a long tie on, an’ not ya bowtie?”

“I… felt like it.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Satan was extremely suspicious. They had been at the show for over twenty minutes, and Mammon had been better behaved than he’d ever seen him before. He’d even made fairly intelligent remarks about the art. He hadn’t left Satan’s side, but had been quiet enough Satan had forgotten he was there multiple times. Lucifer would’ve been more conspicuous. Satan kept expecting to have to reprimand him, but the time never came.

The gallery space was very large, one that was reserved for shows the demon prince hand picked. The space was set up like a labyrinth, and each bend had something new to display. The center of the show held a large, site specific installation. The art itself was very good, better than what Satan had assumed he’d see, but what really struck him was the breadth of the work. He marveled at how one person could produce so much art and in such varying mediums.

“Enjoying the work?” a random demon drawled, sidling up next to him.

“Yes,” he replied, taking a step back.

“You know, there’s a dead end just around the corner. The art in there is extremely… Exciting. I can show you, if you’d like,” the demon closed the space he had created, and reached out, their hand lightly grazing his arm.

“I’m fine where I’m at, thanks.” Satan started to walk away, and an exasperated sigh followed.

“I’m not sure you understand. The art is extremely stimulating. I really think you’ll enjoy it,” a hand was now grasping his arm.

“I said no,” Satan stated, extracting his arm from their grasp.

“Oi! Satan! You gotta come see this photograph,” Mammon interrupted the exchange, his loud behavior back, but eyes keenly trained on the unwelcome newcomer.

A strangled gasp came from the demon, eyes growing large, “Ah, hello Mammon,” another gasp and an audible step back, “Lead the way. Excuse me.”

The second born started rambling, but got quieter the further from the demon they got, until they both fell into silence. “Thank you,” Satan acquiesced finally.

“No need for my brother ta have ta deal with that,” Mammon said softly. Satan didn’t push any further, them both saying what they needed to.

The continued walking for another while, when the soft music that had been playing overhead was replaced with a voice, “I would like to thank you all for coming out to Jane Doe’s exhibition. As all of you know this is her first show in the Devildom, and I am so pleased at the turnout. As much as we’d love to have you all here at the center with us, but we hope that putting the artist talk over the loud speakers will be enough for all of you still in the labyrinth.”

“Jane Doe? Ain’t that wha’ they call dead humans?” Mammon asked, talking over Diavolo.

“Well, often it’s used for unidentified female human bodies to be specific, usually a murder victim. The use is mostly as a placeholder for unidentified, anonymous or hypothetical parties to a court case in some human countries. An obvious pseudonym, and one I find rather amusing and clever. I’m rather put out we’re still in the maze. I was hoping to be at the center by now. I guess this will have to do. It’s really smart to-” Satan stopped, his eyes growing huge and intense.

“Ya okay?” Mammon asked uncomfortably.

“Shhhhhh!…” Satan demanded, his ears now only trained on the voice above him. He could’ve sworn he heard…

“... And of course, I had to see if she would hold a show here in the Devildom. I’m just so excited to finally have her art down here. Anyways, I’ve taken up enough of her time. Everyone, please welcome, Jane Doe.”

“Thank you Lord Diavolo. That was such a kind introduction. I for one am so excited to have been invited to show my work…”

Satan was moving before he knew what he was doing.

“Oi, Satan, wait fer me!”

“Then move faster!” Satan called behind him, starting to run. He had no idea where he was going though. He wasn’t good with directions at the best of times, and this was meant to confuse him. Mammon caught up with him quickly, seeming very conflicted.

“Mammon, you’re better at directions than I am aren't you? Get us to the center of the maze, now!”

“Bro, I don’ think I can-”

“Are you deaf?! Did you not hear her? That’s Mc! I need to get to her, now!” Mammon didn’t seem surprised at the revelation, instead looking a little sad. Satan felt his anger flare as the realization hit him, “You knew, didn’t you?”

“Only cuz Lucifer told me, an’ that was earlier this evenin’. He wanted to make sure someone was aroun’ ta keep ya from goin’ crazy.”

Satan quickened his pace, his anger lending him more speed, “Of course he knew about this and didn’t tell me.”

“He was watchin’ out fer ya.”

“I don’t care what he thought I was doing. Now, are you going to help me or not?”

Mammon looked extremely conflicted, but eventually burst into demon form and flew up to see over the walls. Many demons were aghast at seeing someone flying in the gallery, it being against etiquette, but Satan didn’t care at the moment.

Mammon started flying forward, and Satan followed, only looking down enough to make sure he wasn’t going to crash into an art piece. That did not account for other demons however, and many indignant cries and shouts followed him.

“We’re pretty close ta the center Satan,” Mammon called down.

“I’ve always thought…” Mc continued, but Satan couldn’t focus on the words. He could only marvel at her voice once again in his ears and focus on going as fast as he could. Her laugh rang out, and Satan’s heart jumped. It’d been so long... 

“Hmmm… What was that? Oh, okay. I didn’t realize I’d been talking for so long. Apparently my time is up, but I’ll finish this up on Devilgram. You can find me at...”

“Quicker!” Satan shouted to Mammon after hearing Mc.

“We’re not gunna make it,” Mammon yelled back down.

“We need to go faster then!”

“I’m followin’ ya pace! If ya wanna go faster, you gotta go faster.”

Satan finally relented, and switched into his demon form. With his new power, Satan moved faster and Mammon matched his pace.

“It’s the next bend!”

Satan threw everything he had into covering the final distance of the hallway. He rounded the bend to find…

People milling about, discussing the talk, some extremely confused as to why it had been cut short. Satan looked on the stage, carefully crafted into the installation piece. Nothing. They were even removing the podium.

He sank to the floor, breathing heavily. Mammon touched down beside him, not wanting to bring attention to himself.

“Is she in the Devildom for long?”

“I dunno.”

“Where is she staying?”

“I dunno.”

“How close were we?”

“Real close.”

“Did you see a way out? I’m going to start breaking things if we stay here.”

“There’s a underground passage in the room,” Mammon held out his hand to Satan, who took it, not looking at him.

“Let’s go then.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As always, thank for reading! If you would like to be put on the tags list, just ask below!  I love me some likes and comments, and I love discussing Obey Me with people, so feel free to comment or even message me if you want! If you enjoyed, I also REALLY appreciate reblogs. I promise, you reblogging makes a huge difference to content creators, and each new reblog helps someone else find this fic, so thank you to everyone who does.

Part Six

[samthemarvelfan]

See You Again: One Shot

Summary: 5 years after losing Bucky, you find yourself still trying to adjust to your not-so-new version of normal. One knock on your front door changed all that.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x OFC, Steve Rogers.

Warnings: A bit of angst and then pure and squishy fluff.

A/N: Hi everyone! Okay so this one kinda got away from me a little bit (AKA its waaaay longer than I intended.) Still, I hope you like it all the same. 

Taglist:@iheartsebastianstan @jjlizz @stuckysbabe @sk493494 @lefoutoir @nickangel13 @marvelismysafezone @lilulo-12 @warmvanillafeels @heartofagamotto @ravenesque @pinknerdpanda @wintersoldierissucharide (strikethrough means the tag didn’t work! I’m sorry!) Tags are OPEN! Just send an ask :)

Monday.

The sound and smell of sizzling bacon filled the kitchen. Your iced coffee was within an arms reach, using it to kick start your morning.

“Mama, I can’t wait til next year.” Your daughter said proudly, coloring at the kitchen table.

You smiled to yourself, tussling her hair as you put her plate of pancakes and bacon in front of her.

“And why is that, sweet girl?” You asked.

Maggie put down the yellow crayon she’d been scribbling furiously with. “Because Mama, then I get to ride the bus and go to school! Remember what you said? When I’m 5 I get to go to big girl school!” She held up a picture of a wonky school bus with a smiling girl inside.

A chuckle escaped you. “You’re so smart, baby. Do you remember everything I say?”

She nodded taking a big, sticky bite of pancakes. “Yeah. Most of the stuffs anyway. Can you put this one on the ‘frigerator?”

“Of course.” You hung the picture with a homemade play-doh magnet she’s made for you at summer camp last year. Maggie ate happily, as you played music and did the dishes. Mornings like these were your favorite, soaking in the happiness of your daughter before you had to head to work.

You were snuggled with Maggie on the couch, watching Blue’s Clues. She wiggled taking a sip of her apple juice; a treat in her eyes. Usually, you only gave her water.

“Mama, Blue starts with the letter ‘b’!” She shouted excitedly, turning to face you.

Her cerulean eyes lit up at you, looking for confirmation.

You released a shocked gasp, “Oh my gosh, it does! You’re so smart, Maggie!”

She smiled proudly, before turning back to the tv.

“Mama?” She called to you.

“Hm?” You said absentmindedly.

She looked up at you with big eyes once again, “My Daddy’s name started with a ‘B’, too.”

All at once, it’s as if time moved a bit slower. You try your best to hide your reaction from Maggie. “It sure did, baby girl. Well his nickname did, anyway.”

She let out a small giggle, “Oh jeez, I’m so silly, Mama!” She said, pretending to hit her palm against her forehead.

The smallest tears prickled your eyes, “Yes you are, baby. I love you.”

“Wuv you, Mama.” Maggie said, climbing onto your lap and giving you a wet kiss that still smelled of maple syrup.

Glancing at the clock, you notice the time. “Maggie, grab your bag and put your cup in it, Uncle Steve will be here soon.”

She squealed in delight. This was the routine, Steve comes Monday’s and Saturday's to spend time with Maggie, and you do some light office work down at the VA. It was only two days a week, but it made you feel somewhat normal.

As normal as could be.

Steve arrived at 10 am on the dot as usual. “Hey, Ella.” He said smiling, kissing your cheek.

“Hey yourself, someone is excited as al—“

“Uncle Steve!” You were cut off by a high-pitch scream and the pitter-patter of little feet running toward the door.

He crouched and smiled immediately, “Hiya, munchkin!” He scooped her into his arms, carrying her back into the house.

“I brought you a surprise.” He said as he held her.

She instinctively covered her eyes, “I won’t peek! I won’t!”

He placed her down, and pulled a small container of bubbles out of his back pocket.

“Wanna go to the park and maybe blow some bubbles?” He asked her with a smile.

She gasped, “Bubbles! Bubbles, Mama! Uncle Steve brought bubbles!”

You smiled at her excitement, “I see that, baby! Go get your shoes on quick!”

Your smile faltered slightly as Maggie ran to grab her shoes, and Steve noticed.

“You okay?” He asked, rubbing your shoulder.

You nod subtly, “She mentioned him this morning. Just wasn’t expecting her too—hell I never expect her too.”

He smiled, “She’s a smart one, that kid. Remembers everything.”

You smile in an attempt to push the pain away, “I’m always so impressed when she talks about him. It’s like she knows him, Steve. Even though she’s never met him.”

Steve heard the wobble of your voice. He sighed with empathy, before enveloping you in a hug. “He’d be so proud of you. You’re such an amazing Mom, and Maggie...” Steve said pulling back, you noticed the tears brimming his eyes. They must’ve matched yours.

“Maggie is everything good that Bucky ever was. Even more so because she’s half of you. God, she reminds me so much of him.” He smiled fondly.

You feel your lip quiver, “5 years, Steve. I can’t believe he’s been gone that long.” You wipe your eyes quickly, knowing Maggie will be back any second.

Steve cleared the tremors from his throat. “I know.”

“I just wish I got to tell him. I can just see the look on his face...he would’ve been so happy.” You imagine fondly.

“Mama! I got my...Mama? You okay?” Maggie asks, slowing down as she enters the room.

She walks up to you with arms up, and you hoist her to your hip. “Mama’s okay, baby.”

She grabbed your face in her little hands, and shook her head. “Mama sad...” she said quietly.

You kiss her forehead, and hold her to you close. “I’m was a little sad, baby, but seeing you made me so much better. I love you, Maggie.”

“I wuv you, Mama, and I wuv Uncle Steve.” She said happily.

“You do?!” Steve asked, tickling Maggie’s sides.

She laughed for a moment, before clinging to Steve’s neck. “Yeah, and I wuv my Daddy too. I bet he was so nice, Uncle Steve.”

That’s another thing Maggie definitely got from Bucky; knowing just what to say and when to say it.

Steve smiled, and pushed some hair out of her face, “Your Daddy was the best, kiddo. I promise.”

You looked at the clock once more, “Shoot! I gotta go, have a good day, baby!”

You kissed the crown of Maggie’s head, and kissed Steve’s cheek before handing her bag to him, “Lunch is—“

“In the bag.” He said smiling.

“Yeah. Oh and the sunscreen—“

“Little pocket on the front.” He said, handing you your keys.

“Right, oh and don’t let—“

“Don’t let her have anymore juice because she had some already. I got it, Els. Go.” He chucked, ushering you out.

“Okay, okay. Bye, guys!” You said happily.

While you knew talking about Bucky with Maggie was always a good thing, the missing him never got easier. Sure there were days you thought about him less, but he never really left your mind.

Not when the daughter you share is waking you up every morning with hugs and snuggles and kisses.

Bucky missed everything.

He missed the diapers, all those diapers. Her first laugh, and when she said ‘mama’ for the first time. He missed her learn to crawl and her first steps. Bucky never even got to heart her heart beat.

These were things you should have shared with him—memories you should’ve made with him.

You’d gone to therapy. You’d been walked through the stages of grief more times than anyone should have to be. Yet, the hurt was still there. It’s always going to be there, and that’s the life you’ve got to make work now. This—this is your normal.

Friday

“Maggie, don’t touch those cookies, little missy!” You shout from the living room.

She comes sulking out of the kitchen, “Mama you left them on the counter! I see them! They’re right there!”

You chuckle as you finish wrapping the vacuum cord back up to put away. “Yes I did, and they’re for after dinner.”

“That’s not fair!” She whined, fake tears being forced into her eyes.

“Maggie Jane I am in no mood for this. You can either sulk on the couch with no tv, or you can go play in your room until I say your spaghetti is done. Whatcha think?” You asked in your sternest mom-voice.

She wiped the fake tears, “Okay Mama, I go play.”

You bent down and smooched her forehead, “There’s my girl.”

Her feet padded down the hallway, and you made your way to the kitchen, putting on a pot for the pasta.

As you wiped down the counters, you felt something strange; like a surge of energy. The kind that is palpable, and makes your hair stand on end. It was hard to explain, but it was like suddenly the air was electric.

The kitchen lights dimmed four or five times before settling back to normal.

Goosebumps prickled your skin and you’re mind began to race.

“What the hell...” you whispered. “Maggie, you okay?” You called down the hall.

“Yes, Mama! I’m playing with my play-doh!” She responded happily.

Thank God... you thought to yourself.

After what happened 5 years ago, any time something felt off, no matter how small it seemed, you automatically assumed the worst.

You open the shades above your sink. The sun was shining bright—brighter than it had in forever.

“Huh...” you thought aloud.

Before you made the pasta, you sent a quick text to Steve, making sure he was still coming for his weekly dinner. After almost 20 minutes and no response, you figured something came up.

“Maggie! Dinner!” You shout, putting her plate and cup on the table.

She ran into the kitchen with delight, “S’ghetti!” She shouted, grinning from ear to ear.

You scooted her in closer to the table, before sitting in the seat beside her.

“Mama? Where’s Uncle Steve?” She asked taking a bite of her pasta.

You scooted some of the food around on your plate, “I’m not sure, kiddo. I think he might’ve gotten stuck at work.”

“Can we call him?” An innocent question from an innocent mind.

You shook your head, “No, baby. Well call him tomorrow.”

The rest of your evening was relatively calm, considering the unsettling feeling you’ve had since that episode in the kitchen. Maggie had her bath and 2 bedtime stories, and was now safely and soundly tucked in bed.

You, on the other hand, lay awake in your own, your mind unable to quiet the eerily familiar thoughts that something was wrong.

You still hadn’t heard from Steve, which is very unlike him, so you decide to text him once more.

Hey, haven’t heard from you. Weirded out by what happened earlier, idk if it was a power surge or what but now I’m anxiety city. Call me please, so I know you’re safe. Love you.

You sat with that for about an hour, before you eyes betrayed your mind. Your lids felt 1000 times heavier and you decided sleep would be a good idea since Maggie is a notoriously early riser on the weekends. You’ll call Steve in the morning, and if necessary, you’d send out a search party.

Saturday.

You’d surprisingly woken up before Maggie. This meant hopefully and hour or so to yourself, maybe watch a movie without animals that sing? That would be paradise.

As you padded through your living room with your coffee in hand, you jumped hearing someone scream outside.

You put the coffee down and quickly check on Maggie, still sound asleep. Her sound machine muffling the screams and cries from outside.

Peeking out the window, you see your neighbor crying on her knees. She’s holding someone, a boy, no older than 12 or 13.

“Miles?” You ask yourself. He was your neighbor’s son.

He’d also vanished 5 years ago.

“That’s...that’s not possible.” You whisper.

Then you hear it again, more cries. Cries of joy, from all around your neighborhood.

You fumble with the blankets on the couch, searching for your phone. You find it and quickly dial Steve’s number, but it goes straight to voicemail.

Your body is shaking as you hear the beep. “Steve, I-I don’t know what the hell is happening. T-There’s people who...I don’t know. I’m freaking the fuck out! Call me soon...please.”

A knock at the front door makes you jump. You slipped your phone into your pocket, and walked to it slowly.

With your hand on the knob, you hesitate, feeling your body screaming at you not to open it.

Another set of knocks, softer than the ones before had been.

You let out a puff of air, and swing the door open. When it revealed your visitor, you swear you could have fainted right then and there.

This couldn’t be real. He couldn’t be real.

“Hey, Sugar.” He said breathlessly.

His hair was in a bun at the nap of his neck, and he was dressed in a black Henley and sweats to match. His face was bruised and cut and the circles under his eyes showed whatever he’d just been through definitely wasn’t easy.

You felt like you were gonna collapse. The room was spinning and your vision went blurry.

“Y-You’re dead. You’re dead, James.” You spoke. What else could you say?

“Ella, you gotta sit down, your pale as a ghost.” He grabbed your hands and pulled you back into the house.

Bucky kicked the door closed, the sound of it slamming seemingly braking your trance.

“Let me go!” You shout, pulling away from him.

“Els—“ he starts.

You shake your head, “No...stop. You’re not real. I’m hallucinating or something.”

When Bucky first died, you saw him everywhere. Swearing to yourself, and your therapist, that you could still hear him—smell him.

He reached out and stroked your cheek, “I swear to you, Doll, I’m real.”

Your eyes stung with tears, “H-How?”

“It’s a long story. One that I promise I’ll tell you but I really just wanna hold you for a second.” He breathed.

You stared at him. Bucky was, for all intents and purposes, unchanged. He looked the same way he did when he vanished.

You on the other hand looked entirely different. The crinkles by your eyes were more defined, there were stretch marks on your belly from carrying Maggie, and those chronic bags under your eyes from raising her alone.

Bucky took a tentative step forward, before taking your face in his hands. He took you in for a moment, and then wrapped his arms around you. “God, you’re so beautiful.” He said into your hair.

You felt yourself melt into him, something you’d done so many times, it’s no wonder it happened so naturally.

“You always know just what to say.” Your voice was trembling.

You inhaled him. A lifetime of memories flooding your mind, along with all the pain you’d felt for the last 5 years. You shut your eyes tight, keeping the warmth of his body against yours. “I-I can’t even begin to tell you—“

“Shh, I know. Believe me, Els...I know.” He whispered.

You looked up at him. His cerulean eyes reminding you of all the life you’d lived with him, and of the one you’d loved without him. But Bucky was here, standing in the home you’d once shared together.

You swallowed the lump forming in your throat, “Buck, I need to tell you...” your voice drifted off.

Bucky brushes the hair out of your face, “What is it, Sugar?”

You shook your head, still having trouble believe this is real. “I just, I don’t know where to start, James...”

He kissed your forehead sweetly, his warm lips soothing your soul in a way you didn’t know you needed until this moment.

“Start from right now. I don’t know how to navigate this...but we can figure it out. To—“

“Mama?” Maggie’s small voice interrupted Bucky’s words.

You peek around his large form to see your daughter clinging to her stuffed piglet that shows all the signs of being well-loved for the past few years.

You sigh contently, “Good morning, beautiful girl.”

She quietly walked by Bucky, looking up at him as he stares at her in disbelief. Maggie held her arms out for you and you hoisted her to your hip.

“Ella...” Bucky says breathlessly, looking between the two of you.

He sees it immediately. The eyes that are mirror images of his own, the dimple on her cheek matching the one you have on yours.

You kissed her temple. “This is Maggie.”

A muffled sob sounded from Bucky’s chest, “Maggie...” he whispered happily.

She turns her head at the sound of her name and looks at him, watching him for a moment, taking him in.

“Does your name start with a ‘B’?” She whispered, fiddling with her stuffy.

Bucky smiles and let out a small laugh, “It sure does.”

Maggie turns back to you, her eyes wide with excitement. “Is that my Daddy, Mama?”

You squeeze her tight, blinking the tears away. “It is, baby.”

She wiggles to be put down on the floor, so you oblige.

Confident as always, she walks up to Bucky, and he crouches to meet her. “I’m Maggie.” She says, holding back a giggle.

Bucky smiles and strokes her hair, “Hi, Maggie.” He chokes out.

She spots the tears in his eyes and turns to you. “Mama? Is Daddy sad?”

Daddy

A word that was once so painful for you to hear her say, was now your favorite sound in the world.

“I don’t know, kiddo. Why don’t you ask him?” You say, crossing your arm comfortably.

She turns back to Bucky with her arms raised, and he scoops her up without a second thought. She places her little hands on his face and look at him, “Daddy sad?” She asks.

Bucky’s lip quivered, and he shook his head. “No, beautiful. D-Daddy isn’t sad.” You could tell he couldn’t believe he was saying that word.

“Daddy is so, so happy.”

Bucky has spent the day getting to know his daughter.

Maggie had shown him all of the pictures she’s drawn of him over the years. They’d had a tea party for lunch, and played with her play-doh.

You’d put her down for a nap, and Bucky washed the dishes from lunch. It all felt so routine, domestic...

Normal.

Bucky told you everything.

Thanos. The army. Natasha, and Tony. Oh God, Tony...Your heart hurt for him, and the thought he’d never see his daughter again.

“I’m so sorry, Sugar.” He said, sipping coffee from his mug.

You shook your head in disbelief. “Why are you sorry?”

He thought for a moment, before he grabbed your hand, entangling your fingers.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t here. I made you do all this alone.” He pulled you close to him, so you were leaning against his body.

“I should be apologizing to you, I never even got to tell you...” you drifted off.

He turned your face to his, and put his lips on yours.

Passion wasn’t even an accurate enough word.

This was gratitude. This was fear, it was heartache and lust and yearning all wrapped into one.

This was love.

Bucky pulled away slowly, resting his forehead on yours.

“You’ve given me everything, Ella. Maggie...she’s--she’s incredible, and you made her that way.” The tears in his eyes finally spilled over, as did yours. “I can’t wait to get to know her.”

“I love you, James. I love you.” You said quietly.

Bucky stroked your cheek, “I love you, too.”

[snowdice]

Finding the Time to Study Fic 2 [Day 39]

Here is my starting post for today’s study break stories session. See this post for more details and feel free to send me asks to keep me going! It’s been a lot of fun so far! I will reblog this post with the story as I write them today. I’ll be constantly looking for ideas of times and places for Janus to have missions, so feel free to send in any you can think of at any point!

If you are a new follower or just don’t want all of these posts clogging your dash, please feel free to block the tag “study break stories” as all posts and voting about it will go there. You can still see the finished product of the story even if you are blocking that tag as I will not tag the edited chapters with “study break stories” but with the tag “folds in paper.” See edited chapters below. None edited chapters are under the cut.

My Masterpost Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15

I also have a playlist on youtube (because Spotify didn’t have one of the songs I wanted). It’s short, and not really for serious listening, but I had fun with it.

Alright. Time to get a bit of studying done.

Arc II What We Do to Each Other

Chapter 16:

As it would turn out, Janus and Virgil did not get in trouble for hooking up the old phone to Virgil’s integrator, mostly because it wasn’t really a mistake on their part. The phone cleared all virus checks that the tech people both from the university and the TPI ran on it. The phone should have been clean and should not have caused an issue.

In fact, they were still trying to pin down the code on the general university server. They could tell that something was mucking about on the system but what or how was a mystery. This also meant that there was no telling what information had been compromised and considering how many things Silver Mountain had its hands in, that was… a bit worrying.

 Another worrying thing was there was suddenly more activity of late at the TPI. There were more time distortions popping up every day. Usually they would be few and far in between. There had been 3 total recorded the year before, but over 12 in the last week. Some of them were fake like the one Janus had investigated, but some of them were real. It painted a distressing picture and also was a drain on their resources. Khalid was actually looking to advertise positions to hire new recruits which was something she rarely did as she liked to keep appointments to the TPI in house.

 They’d even loosed the number of field agents needed for each mission and Janus and Remus had been splitting up just to get everything done. Today, he and Remus had thankfully only two missions scheduled for the day.

“Are we going together or separate today?” Janus asked Remus.

“Think they’ll burn me at the stake for being a witch if I go alone to either of them?” Remus asked.

“I don’t know. Probably. I think we’re getting a bit late into the 1700s for that in Cuba, but I have no idea about Mesopotamia.”

“Let’s just go together. I did not like almost drowning yesterday because I was the only stranger in town when the weather was going wonky.”

“Surely it isn’t because you opened your mouth. Ever.” Janus said dryly.

“How was I supposed to know he was the local clergyman’s son?”

 Janus rolled his eyes. “On second thought,” he said, pushing a button on his desk to choose Cuba as he next mission, and standing up. “I don’t want you coming with me.” Yet, he did not protest when Remus also signed up for the Cuba mission and he waited for him by the office door before going to talk to Rhi.

Rhi was a bit frazzled when which meant quite a bit as she was usually incredibly put together. Remus didn’t even seem inclined to tease her today.

“Okay,” she said once they’d closed the door behind them. She flipped through some documents on her desk. “Picani and Clockson. Camaguey Cuba 1755. Do you know Cuba?”

 “Uh,” Janus said. “Yeah?”

“Like you’re reading the things, right? I don’t have to babysit you, right? You got it? The Seven Year War was happening, but it won’t affect you much as it hasn’t really hit Cuba. It’s the middle of the Camaguey Carnival. Everyone will be everywhere and there will be chaos so as long as you don’t really fuck up you should be fine. Um…apparent races.” She looked up at them and studied them each for a moment as thought looking at them for the first time despite having known them for years. “It’ll work. Go to costuming.”

“Shouldn’t we…” Janus said, “sign things?”

 “…Yep,” she said, fiddling with her desktop and then sending documents over to their side to sign.

Janus and Remus both did before sending them back.

“Great. Good.” She stood and grabbed some things from behind her. “You can go.” She sat back down as they took their things and Janus noticed a message pop up on her desk. She looked up at Remus looking exhausted. “What?” she asked.

“Just open it,” Remus said.

Rhi tapped it and a photo opened.

“I got her a new mouse toy!” Remus said happily as Rhi looked at the picture of Diesel Fuel attacking a cloth mouse.

“That is… appreciated Agent Clockson,” Rhi said. “Now get out.”

 They did, leaving to get their costumes on and checked. Costuming was just as busy and frazzled as Rhi had been and they actually had to wait for decon because there’d been a mix up with the agents leaving before them. They landed in Cuba without issue. Janus could already hear the festival in full swing outside the small building they’d were in. Remy was standing there with a very not time appropriate mug of coffee.

“Sue me,” Remy said when Janus raised an eyebrow at it. “Please just… get in and out without causing trouble. Seriously. I don’t want to have to deal with that on top of everything else.”

 “We’ll do our best,” Janus assured.

Remy pulled his sunglasses down to look at him. He looked exhausted. “God please do more than your best.”

Janus nodded tightly. “We’ll be in and out,” he said, already glancing at his timepiece. It had been disguised as a golden bracelet which made it a bit harder to actually use, but wrist watches wouldn’t be invented for more than a century, so they’d have to make do. “The time distortion, if that’s what it is, should be in the middle of town. Let’s go.”

He and Remus exited the building onto the packed city street.

 Janus was immediately bombarded with all types of sights, sounds, and smells. There were many colorful articles of clothing and costumes as people went every which way along the street talking to other members of their community, playing instruments, and dancing. There was the sound of people speaking Spanish, still mostly almost pure Castilian Spanish with perhaps a bit of influence from Taino as the Haitian revolution had yet to push the Creole language over to Cuba. People must have been hard at work cooking different dishes for the carnival as many different spices wafted through the air. It was sticky hot considering it was the middle of June in the tropics and Janus was immediately sweating despite the temperature appropriate clothing he’d been outfitted with.

 He glanced around their immediate area, just scoping out the crowds. His eyes were immediately drawn to one person near them.

“Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me,” he said out loud when he saw Pat. Remus looked in the direction Janus was.

Even if Janus didn’t recognize him the moment he laid eyes on him, he probably still would have ended up staring as he was the only person in the area who clearly did not know how to do the dance he was attempting.

Remus snorted and Janus shook his head in secondhand embarrassment. “Well, would you look whose boyfriend’s here,” he said to Janus. Make that firsthand embarrassment. “Has anyone told him the Mambo wasn’t invented until the 1900s and also that’s not how you do it?”

 Chapter 17

Pat stopped dancing the moment he saw Janus approaching him, but he still bobbed cheerfully ( and unrhythmically) to the music. “Hi Janus,” he said pleasantly.

“You just have to rub it in, huh?”

There was a flash of confusion across his face, but then he smiled. “Well, I know where in our relationship you are. How was France?”

“You’re a bastard.”

“You stole the phone,” he laughed.

“You stole the bomb,” Janus countered, “and you wanted me to steal the phone. You booby trapped it.”

“No,” Pat correct, putting a finger up. “We have security on my phone because in high school I once forgot it in the school locker room and long story short, the three of us ended up in a lake. So, then Lo made sure I always had some sort of tracker on it. When I started time traveling, he updated it and when I met you we updated it again in case there was ever an opportunity like that. Lo calls it using our weaknesses to our advantage.”

 “He’s a bastard too,” Janus growled.

Pat just laughed.

“Is someone talking about me?” Remus asked, stepping over to them. Janus rolled his eyes.

“Oh,” Pat said, blinking at Janus’s partner for a moment. “Remus.” He hesitated slightly. “How are you doing?”

“Me?” Remus asked. “Uh, I’m doing good. A little stressed out with work, but fine.”

“Good,” Pat said with just a little too much heartfulness to it.

“What?” Janus asked, eyes narrowed at Pat. “What is that?”

“What is what?” Pat asked. He met Janus’s eyes briefly and it made panic surge up Janus’s spine because the look Pat was sending him wasn’t one that said he was playing dumb. It was a warning.

 Oh, Janus did not like this. That look told Janus Pat had some foreknowledge that he absolutely could not tell Janus about without messing up the timeline spectacularly. This was why this mess the two of them were mixed up in was so bad, but it seemed Janus did not have much of a choice when it came to Pat.

Despite how bad of an idea he knew it was, he still wanted to push, because whatever Pat was hiding could be very, very bad and it had to do with Remus. There were so many reasons Pat could be acting like that around Remus, but the worst ones were definitely the ones on his mind. Death, injury, illness. They were all possible especially in their line of work and especially with how time was being screwed with right now. And Pat knew. He knew exactly what the answer was, and oh did Janus want to push.

Experience knowing what worse things could come out of having foreknowledge made Janus bite his tongue.

 “So, what are you two doing here,” Pat asked, and Janus unhappily let him change the subject.

“Oh, like you don’t know,” Janus replied.

“I don’t know,” Pat said innocently.

“There’s another time distortion,” Janus said, “and while you didn’t know what it was the last time I saw you, I’m pretty sure you do now.”

“Oh, I didn’t know there was a time distortion here. I can help you if you like,” he offered sweetly.

“Oh, yeah, sure. Then why are you here?”

“I wanted to see if I could find the Flying Dutchman,” Pat told him.

“And so you went to Camaguey?”

“Uh huh.”

“One of the farthest places from the ocean in Cuba?”

 “Is it?”

“I don’t trust you.”

Pat just shrugged. “Well, if you don’t want my help finding the time distortion, I’ll just be on my way then.”

“Wait,” he said when Pat went to turn away. Pat paused. Janus turned to Remus. “Remus, do you think he’s bullshitting me so I let him wander off and do whatever the hell he’s doing, or do you think he’s bullshitting me into letting him come with us.”

“Hmm,” Remus said, looking Pat up and down. Janus could immediately tell he wasn’t going to get any helpful answer. “Well, if we’re going with the how much do I get to see his, admittedly very sexy, ass criteria.” Janus pinched the bridge of his nose. “Letting him leave now means instant gratification and a nice full image when he turns away. However, letting him go with us means many more opportunities to get a glimpse, but they’d probably just be glimpses. So, yeah that’s a tough call.”

“You didn’t even bother to give me an actual hidden suggestion with that bullshit,” Janus groaned. He glanced at Pat only to see him hiding his very red face in his hands. Janus blinked. “Oh,” he said. “You got him, Remus.” Janus was surprised. He’d expected a bit more tenacity for someone with Pat’s personality. Of course, Janus was used to Remus, so that perhaps had some effect. Pat made a muffled distressed sound behind his hands and Janus raised an eyebrow. “You really got him.”

Pat flapped one hand around while still using the other to completely hide his face. “It’s just. His face. Saying that. Is weird.”

 Janus could not say that he didn’t feel a slight spark of joy at seeing Pat flustered. After all, Pat’s weapon of choice had often been flirting with Janus in the past. However, he still smacked Remus on the shoulder when it looked like he was about to continue with something likely far more inappropriate. “We are here for a reason,” he reminded. He turned to consider Pat and squinted at him. “You’re coming with us, I’ve decided. I don’t want to let you out of my sights. Don’t,” he said empathically turning to Remus as the man opened his mouth once more.

 Pat had mostly recovered, though his cheeks were just a bit pink still. “Yeah,” he said. “I’ll go with you. Where do we start?”

Janus glanced at his timepiece. “It’s not showing up on our trackers yet.”

“It messed with your tracker last time,” Pat pointed out.

“I know,” Janus said. “Which means it could be another fake one or whatever is causing it hasn’t started yet. If things start going wrong, but it still doesn’t show on our radar, it’s almost certainly a fake one, but some of the fake ones haven’t blocked our technology.”

“Here, I can check,” Pat said.

“Please don’t pull out an iPhone,” Janus begged.

 Pat stuck out his tongue at him, and then smiled. He reached for the bracelet on his wrist and twisted it back and forth a few times before pressing his palms together. He glanced around them quickly to make sure no one around them was watching and then peeled apart his palms like he was miming reading a book.

“What the fuck is that, and how do I get one?” Remus asked immediately. It was innocuous, whatever it was. If someone from this time caught a glimpse of the display, they’d likely assume it was a trick of the light, but staring right at it, Janus could tell it was a map of the surrounding areas with a softly glowing blue light marking their current location. Janus could see no screen or origin of a hologram. It looked like the image was drawn onto the man’s palms, but as he watched, the image shifted to zoom out.

 “There doesn’t seem to be anything major yet,” Pat said wiggling his fingers a bit. The display changed slightly to some sort of colorful overlay Janus did not understand. Pat hummed. “Did you two come from that building recently?” he asked nodding at it.

“Yes,” Janus replied. “How do you know?”

“There’s sometimes a slight temperature change when people time travel,” Pat explained. “I can read it on here.” He tilted his head. “There also seems to be a big enough temperature change in a church a few blocks away that could indicate time travel. Want to check it out?”

“We might as well,” Janus agreed.

“And if it’s nothing, we can get drunk on the communion wine!”

“He’s going to get immediately struck by lightning,” Janus said.

 Chapter 18

“If we see anyone,” Janus said as they entered the church. “You keep your mouth shut. Do you understand me? Remus, do you understand me?”

Remus immediately turned to Pat. “You know, I didn’t grow up Catholic,” he said to Pat who looked at him in confusion. “So the first time I ever entered a Catholic church, you can’t blame me for being a little confused about the whole cabinet thing with a wall between them. After all, everyone was singing about glory to god and what not. So I…”

Janus slapped him. “This is why you were almost burned at the stake yesterday.”

 “Excuse you,” Remus said, putting his hand over his heart. “I was almost drowned.”

“You were almost drowned?” Pat asked, his voice seeming legitimately distressed.

Remus shrugged a smile on his face that caused a Pavlovian migraine to start up behind Janus’s eyes. “It’s one of the hazards of the jobs, and really it would have all been worth it if I’d actually gotten to drown in that man’s…”

“We’re in a church!” Janus cut him off switching from Spanish to Swahili in the hopes that no random passersby would be able to understand him in this time and place. “Don’t talk about lewd sex things. Don’t talk about sex at all. It’s a Catholic church!”

 Remus continued to speak in Spanish with no regard for anything. “But not talking about lewd sex things takes away 3/4ths of my personality,” he pouted.

“More like 9/10th,” Janus grumbled, “and the other 1/10th is just normal stupid.”

“Hey, you shouldn’t be mean,” Pat scolded, in fucking English for some reason, “but Remus, honey, you probably shouldn’t be saying things like that right now.”

“No, no, he has a point,” Remus said switching to English.

“He’s my partner, I have the right to call him stupid,” Janus insisted.

“And I love you too!” Remus said in Greek because he was really, truly, stupid.

 Pat looked between the two, but then seemed to accept it, dropping the concerned expression for a slightly amused one. “If you say so.”

“Can I… help you?” A voice asked. All three of them whipped around to see a young boy looking at them and seeming very confused. Which was fair considering that to his ears, they’d just been speaking nonsense.

“We’re here to pray!” Remus claimed, then he turned to wink at Pat and said under his breath in Swahili, “to that ass.” Pat went immediately bright red again, which was doubtlessly Remus’s aim. Janus subtlety stepped on his foot while smiling at the boy.

 “Oh,” the boy said. “Okay.” Thankfully, he didn’t seem interested in questioning the random strangers in front of him further. “I’m going to go back to the celebration now.”

Janus smiled at him. “Have fun,” he said. He waited for the boy to leave through the front door before slapping Remus on the back of the head.

“Ow!” he whined sounding far too pained for how hard Janus had actually hit him.

Janus rolled his eyes. “Let’s just start investigating,” he said.

“Sure, sure, you never let me have any fun,” Remus said, pulling up his wrist and spinning the golden bracelets on his arm. “Hmm…” he said.

 “What?” asked Pat.

“Either I put on the wrong jewelry this morning… or my timepiece isn’t working.”

“Well, then I’m guessing we’re in the right place,” Janus said. He turned to Pat. “Your stuff still working?”

Pat brought up whatever device was on his hands. “Yeah,” he said, “and it looks like something is just starting.” Just as he said it, there was a violent crash of thunder.

“Well,” Janus said. “We should probably find the source and soon. Which way?”

Pat glanced around himself and then motioned with his wrist. Suddenly there was a 3D display of the church in front of them.

 Janus could see immediately where the problem had to originate. There was a swirling mass of some sort of energy centered at the top of the bell tower of the church. As he watched, he saw the picture of the church glitch out a bit. He had a bad feeling about that.

“Is there something wrong with your display?” he asked, or more hoped.

Pat shook his head slowly. “I don’t think so…” The room seemed to shift suddenly underneath their feet. It felt a bit like time travel, but also wrong. The picture on the display flickered harder, part of the building fracturing and dissolving before appearing back in place. The room settled after a moment, but Janus’s stomach did not.

 “Whatever is going on,” Janus said, “We need to stop it right now.”

Pat nodded. “The quickest way up would be that way,” Pat said pointing. The display closed as he did.

“Then, let’s go,” Janus said.

The world was eerily calm as they all started off in the direction Pat had pointed out. In fact, it was almost too quiet.

“Where’s the nearest window?” Janus asked when they came out on the second floor.

Pat glanced at his hand. “There should be a couple a few feet that way.” Janus nodded and left them standing there. When he glanced out of the first window he came to, it appeared to be night. Yet, when he walked to the next window, he saw daylight.

26606

“Time is fracturing,” Janus informed them. “We need to be careful.” This time distortion was much more intense than any of the other ones the agency had been tracking down over the last few months. It had also come on much faster. Usually there was some time between when the time distortion began and it started having extreme effects on the environment. He was suddenly very glad that he and Remus had not split up today. He was even glad for Pat’s company, no matter how aggravating he may be sometimes. Not to mention, he was glad for the man’s technology that seemed to circumvent whatever was blocking Janus and Remus’s timepieces.

He backed away from the windows and returned to the others.

“Whatever you do,” Janus said. “Don’t let anyone be in a room alone.”

“I know what time fractures are this time,” Pat promised.

“It was as much for the idiot as it was for you,” Janus said.

“You accidently bring a bubonic plague infested rat to 900BC one time and you never live it down.”

“I’d say I should put a leash on you, but you’d twist it into something disgusting.”

“Probably,” Remus agreed.

“Where next?” Janus asked, ignoring him.

“That way,” Pat said.

They walked together to the door he’d indicated. “Please don’t be bullshit,” Janus prayed. He opened the door and immediately got bowled over by a stream of salt water.

 Chapter 19

Janus landed flat on his back, a wave of water splashing over him and then quickly retreating, but still leaving him absolutely drenched. He sighed, looking at the ceiling. “Don’t,” he warned, “say a word.”

Of course, he was with the two most impossible people in all of space and time, so neither of them headed him.

“I thought you said we were far from the ocean, Jan,” Pat said.

“Yeah, Janny,” Remus immediately jumped on board because he was an asshole. “I thought we were far from the ocean!”

“Maybe I’ll achieve my goal of finding the Flying Dutchman after all!”

 “Ooo ghost pirates! I’ve never gotten to fight ghost pirates before. Any good with a sword Patty?”

“My friend has a sword and he let me use it before… but all I did was cut a hole in our couch, and then Lo was mad at us.”

“I mean… just pretend the pirates are a couch and we’ll be good!”

Janus slowly sat up. There was still water on the floor and every so often a wave would crash into the room as though the door frame signaled the edge of a beach. Pat reached down to offer him a hand up and Janus slapped it away.

 “Rude!” Pat claimed, but his eyes were alight with mischief.

Janus shoved himself to his feet on his own power.

“You deserve it,” he hissed. “For all of this!” he waved his arms around.

“Water you talking about. I didn’t do anything wrong.”

“You are on thin ice.”

He looked down at his feet with a contemplative expression. “Looks like water to me.”

“Arg!” Janus spat, throwing up his arms.

“I don’t sea why you’re screaming, Janus.”

“Yeah,” Remus contributed. “You seem overally emotional to me.”

“Yes, yes,” Pat replied. “Very em-ocean-al.”

“One may even say he’s pretty salty.”

“I know where you live, Remus,” Janus reminded.

 “Alright, alright Remus, reel it in,” Pat said.

Remus opened his mouth to respond, but Janus cut him off. “Why don’t the two of you dedicate all of that brain power to figuring out how to cross the literal ocean in the next room,” Janus suggested hotly.

And it was a literal ocean. If one ignored where they were and the fact that there was a staircase climbing out of said ocean about 80 or so meters away. There was sand being washed up across the door frame and a seagull flying in the distance. At least it looked like a nice day in the room with the way the sun was glinting off the water. At least it wasn’t storming there. Yet.

Janus’s head throbbed with the thought of what had to be happening with the time distortion to plop a piece of the ocean into one single room in a church. Usually they’d be calling the TPI for backup or at least for information, but that was a loss. Even if they tried to get out of range of whatever was disrupting their timepieces, time was so unstable, they’d very possibly get dumped somewhere dangerous. It was better to just get to the time distortion as quickly as possible and stop it.

 “Hmm,” Remus said. “I wonder how deep it is. Do you think there are man eating sharks in the water? Or giant jelly fish? Remember that one time I got stung by a jelly fish and almost died?”

“Yes,” Janus said, lips pursed, “and it was entirely your fault.”

“I just looked so squishy!” he declared, “I didn’t know it was a murder blob.”

“I think I have a boat,” Pat said.

They both turned to him. “What?” Janus asked. He was looking at his hands and just hummed in response to Janus’s question. The next thing he knew, Pat made some motion with his hand and a yellow raft started to autofill from his palm. “...Why?” Janus asked.

“I… recently started carrying a wilderness survival pack in my time device.”

 “I’m not going to question it. It’s better than swimming.” By the time the raft was completely deployed, they’d all been shoved into the walls by it.

“Huh, on second thought. I probably should have put the raft in the room before blowing it up.”

“You think?” asked Janus.

Pat glared at him over it. “I never really thought about how to open it in a narrow second floor corridor.”

“Just try to shove it through the door without popping it.”

“Why are you looking at me?!” asked Remus.

They managed to somehow squeeze the raft through the door into the other room after a few minutes.

 Pat squinted at the tottering raft he was holding to the door frame. “After you,” he offered.

Janus glared at him.

“You’re already soaked!” Pat defended himself.

Janus sighed and very carefully climbed into the raft. It tottered dangerously, but he didn’t immediately fall out, so that was a plus. The other two of them slowly also climbed onto the raft with him. They then sat in it for a few seconds. “Is there an oar?” Janus asked.

“Oh right!” Pat did something else with the device in his hands and an oar slowly unfolded from his hand.

“Seriously, I want one of those,” Remus said.

 “Let’s just get out of here,” Janus said, snatching the oar. The staircase luckily wasn’t too far away. They probably could have swam it if necessary, but the raft gave them some modicum of protection. Everything seemed to be going in their favor, which of course meant everything was about to go incredibly wrong.

They were about halfway across the water when the entire world around them rumbled.

“…I hope that was a giant jellyfish,” Remus said.

It was unfortunately not a jellyfish or any sea creature at all. The world around them fractured, the ocean seeming to split right down the middle so the water right of the staircase was 6 feet higher than on the left. The sky flashed red and yellow before the water split completely like Moses splitting the Red Sea.

 There was a millisecond as the split widened until it was only a few feet from them, to decide whether when they landed they wanted to be on the side with the water or on the side without it. On one hand, going towards the side without water could mean they fell to their deaths or the water crashed back down on top of them when it settled. On the other hand, if the fissure was closing or shifting to a new area, it was very possible that they’d end up trapped in the middle off the ocean with no connection to the church.

 Well, the best chance to actually get to where they were going was probably the side without water. It seemed everyone had the same idea at once because as he grabbed for both of them, they both grabbed for him and they all went tumbling off the raft into what could have very well been a bottomless pit.

Janus learned after a couple of seconds of free fall, that it was definitely not a bottomless pit. He landed hard, flat on his back and saw stars. The next moment something landed on top of him, squeezing all of the air out of his lungs.

 Something else fell half on top of his legs.

“Ow,” Pat said from near his ear.

“Yeah, well you’re the one on the top,” Janus groaned though his teeth.

“Wow, I never took you for a bottom, Janus,” Remus said from near his feet. Janus kicked up his legs into whatever part of him was on top of Janus and he gave an “oof.”

Pat snorted a bit and Janus glared at his… shoulder? He shifted around a bit so he was less thrown across Janus and more just on top of him. Janus blinked. There was a wooden ceiling above them, so that was a good sign, though there was also a giant dark hole of nothingness directly above them which was not as good.

 Janus moved slightly. He could tell he was going to be bruised later, but he didn’t seem seriously injured. “We should,” he started, but was interrupted as the hole above them pulsated and dumped a bunch of sea water.

Pat shrieked as they were all drenched with the chilly water. Luckily, they seemed to be on higher ground because, while water kept pouring out of the hole, it drained away just as quickly instead of drowning them.

Water still hitting his back relentlessly, Pat peeled his head up to look Janus in the eyes. A giggle bubbled out of his mouth.

“It isn’t funny,” Janus informed him. Pat just giggled more, leaning his head against Janus’s chest and cackling.

 Janus just rolled his eyes. “Yes, yes, this is an entirely appropriate reaction. Thank you for your contribution to our very important mission.”

Pat seemed incapable of stopping laughing completely, but he did calm himself enough to peel himself off Janus’s chest and lean forward so their noses almost touched. “It’s hilarious and you know it,” he claimed.

“In what way is this ‘hilarious’?”

“In many waves,” was the joy filled answer.

“You’re horrible.”

Pat hummed. He hadn’t moved to get off of him even though they really should be moving in case something worse than water came through the hole in the ceiling. He hadn’t even moved his face away.

“No, no, you two just tell me when you’re done being gay for each other,” Remus interrupted. Janus was surprised to see he’d stood up at some point and was now hovering over them.

 Janus flipped him off even while Pat laughed once again. Pat finally drew away and rolled off of him so Janus could sit up. Pretty much everything hurt when Janus moved, but he was able to stand up, so he was probably fine enough. “So,” he said looking around. “Where are we now?”

 Chapter 20

Janus looked around himself while Pat booted up his map to try to figure out where they were. They were in a small room that may actually be considered a large landing as there were staircases on either side of it. The water that was still coming out of the ceiling was running down the staircase that led down from the room.

 Something was stopping the water, creating a pool on the steps that was already about to overflow into the room. With the speed the water was flowing, they should have enough time before the room completely filled up with water and drowned them.

Janus wondered if they were in the church or not. It was not out of the question and there was church like décor around them, but who knew? He could feel a strange vibration in the ground and the one window in the room shone with green light.

“Hmm,” said Pat. “That looks not good.” He’d projected his map so they could all see everything.

 The map itself was moving. Rooms were phasing in and out of focus and fracturing down the middle. One room was even spinning lazily around in circles. Janus could see the room they were in. It was connected to the bigger blob of rooms, and there was a black line connecting it to another room from the top which was obviously the hole spewing water at them.

“Well, at least the time distortion is still coming from the bell tower,” Remus said. Janus shot him an unamused glance. Said bell tower was currently upside down and shuddering as well as divided from any other room by at least two inches of empty space.

28842

“How are we supposed to get there?” asked Pat.

“We don’t,” Janus said. “It’s literally impossible.”

“There has to be some way,” Pat argued with a frown.

“If we try to use time travel, we’ll definitely get shredded by the warping time and space around it and walking there isn’t an option. There aren’t even any entrances!”

“Well, there were at one point.”

“Yeah, before,” he gestured wildly to the ceiling that was still pouring water into the room.

“So?” Pat asked.

“’So’?! What do you mean ‘so’?!”  

Pat shrugged. “When one door closes, cut another one.”

Janus froze and looked at him for a long moment. “Where the hell did you hear that?”

Patton raised an eyebrow. “You.”

“I don’t think like that anymore.”

“Well then I guess we’ll die,” Pat said lightly. “Of course, that’ll make an even worse time loop considering I’ve met older versions of you.”

“Fuck,” Janus spat. “Fuck. Fine. Give me a minute to think. Not that I even know if we have a minute because,” he gestured once again to the room.

 “Okay,” Janus said. “The room with the source of the time distortion is separated from us by a swirling pool of dark nothingness and there is no way to get to it. But, the only way we’re going to stop the distortion from ripping apart time and killing us as well as probably a bunch of other people is to get to it. That is an impossible situation. There is no solution. That door is closed to us. What other ways are there to look at it?” He looked at the visual representation of the rooms. One of them suddenly went spinning out and his eyes tracked it. We need to be in the same place as the source,” Janus said. “That is fact, but we don’t have to get to it.”

“Um, what do you mean?” Remus asked. Pat shushed him.

 “If you want thing A and thing B to be in the same place, there’s more than one way to do it. If you can’t move thing A to thing B, you might be able to move thing B to thing A. Pat, you have a working time device. We can’t travel with it because that would kill us, but if we can make it do a stutter warp, it could draw the time distortion to it.”

“You…” Remus said. “Want to create another time distortion in hopes that the original time distortion will be pulled into this room?”

“Yes.”

“Well, sounds good to me!” Remus said.

 He maybe had expected Pat to argue, but he didn’t. Instead, he moved his hand to his wrist. There had been nothing there before, but when he touched down on his wrist with two fingers, there was suddenly a metal bound around it that Janus immediately recognized from the times he’d seen Pat’s timepiece before. How was it made invisible? He shook the thought off as Pat offered it up wordlessly. Janus took it and Pat leaned over his shoulder to look.

Despite the fact that the device looked nothing like his own, the interface was surprisingly convenient. “I assume you have safety setting to prevent a stutter warp,” Janus said. “How do I turn those off?”

 Patton pointed at a gear icon on the screen. “You put it under your normal settings?” he asked.

“I have to put in my password or use my fingerprint!” Pat defended.

“It doesn’t matter right now.” He navigated through the settings. He was interested to see that there were many different saved default security settings, but he didn’t get much of a chance to read what all they did. He just turned them all off.” It popped up with a message to put in the password and Pat pressed his fingertip to it. Another message popped up warning them that turning off these settings could cause damage to the machinery, the person using it, and time itself. Janus pushed “okay.” A message popped up that asked “Continue” and Janus pressed “yes.” One last message popped up that said “Security functions disabled.” Janus pressed “okay.”

 “Anything else I’d need to disable?”

“Nope,” Pat confirmed.

He navigated back to the main screen and then bought up the manual travel input screen. Yet another message warning him not to do this flashed and Janus once again ignored it. He copied the space time coordinates that the device said they were currently at and put it in the ‘travel to’ location. “Well,” he said. “Here it goes. Let it be known that if I die, it’s my own fault for allowing Remus into a church.”

“Really?” Remus said. “That’s what you’re choosing to be your last words?”

Janus just raised an eyebrow.

“Love you too Janus.”

Janus nodded and hovered his finger over the travel button. He quickly mashed his finger to the button 22 times.”

 The device warmed in his hand enough that he almost dropped it. Time literally froze for a few breaths as whatever Deity that may or may not exist processed their stupidity.

Janus was not a scientist or technician, but he had a good idea of how badly they were fucking up right now. The timepiece was attempting to travel over and over again to the exact same place and time. This basically punched a small hole through time, that if left unfixed would grow and disrupt space time all around them. As it was, their current position, all gathered around it and staring at it while one of them had it literally in their hand, was perilous.

 There was a rumble under their feet and the world tilted on it’s axis. The all went tumbling down in a pile of limbs to new floor of the room which had once been a wall.

Of course, this change of gravity caused the water that had been building up in the staircase to dump on top of them.

Janus would have cursed, but he was too busy being under the water. He maneuvered himself away from the other two flailing bodies and managed to shove his feet against the wall turned floor. His head popped above the water in time to see the ceiling, or well, it would be the opposite wall, rip in two and the other walls/floor/ceiling start to fold in.

 “Give me a boost!” Pat called over the noise of water rushing and walls crunching.

“Give you a boost where?” Janus asked.

“Up!” Janus wasn’t sure if ‘up’ really existed right now, but he still nodded. The water was a few inches over his head, so he held his breath and interlaced his hands so Pat could put his foot in it. He was shoved down into the water, but it gave Pat enough leverage to shoot up out of the water. When Janus resurfaced, he saw that the man had grabbed ahold of the crumbling wall and was pulling himself up into what for all appearances seemed to be absolutely nothing.

 It took a moment, but then Janus blinked, and he was suddenly in a new room entirely or perhaps it was the same room. He honestly didn’t know at this point. Remus was next to him. He couldn’t recall if he’d been there before the shift or not, but they were both treading water. Pat crashed into the water next to them. Janus’s wrist buzzed as his timepiece came back online. “Got it!” Pat declared when he resurfaced, holding a device up. It looked almost the same as the device they’d found in France, but this one was definitely different if it was able to cause that much chaos that quickly.

 Janus looked around and pointed at what appeared to be a set of stairs. The three of them swam over and pulled themselves out of the water.

“Where are we?” Pat asked.

“Looks like a basement,” Remus replied. “A flooded basement.”

Janus pulled up his timepiece and pushed some buttons to stabilize Pat’s timepiece. It slowly stopped vibrating and cooled. “Here,” he said, handing it over to him. “I suggest you put the safeties back on now.”

Pat nodded and took it.

“We’re still in Cuba,” Remus informed them, looking at his own timepiece. “Same church too, but in the basement and… two and a half centuries later.”

“Remy is going to be pissed,” Janus said.

Remus shrugged. “He’s always pissed… at least at me.”

“Well,” said Pat, slipping his timepiece back onto his wrist. “Thanks for being willing to pool our resources.”

Janus rolled his eyes. “Stop.”

“Ah, mi sirenito-”

“I hate you.”

“-never.” He disappeared with a pop which was when Janus realized, he’d never handed over device that had caused the first time distortion.

“…You bastard!” he yelled at thin air as though the man could hear him.

“Well,” said Remus, “that mission went swimmingly.” Janus reached over and shoved him back into the water.

 Chapter 21

“We should probably get out of here,” Janus said, very much not helping Remus out of the water. Remus pulled himself back up onto the staircase and shook like a dog. Janus crinkled his nose as water droplets hit him. They didn’t smell salty anymore, he noted. In fact, there was a broken pipe spewing out water on the other side of the room.

Janus and Remus cautiously snuck out of the church, not wanting to be seen and blamed for the flooded basement. They came out on a city street that was much different than the one they’d entered from.

 They walked down the street a bit, Janus’s eyes scanning the buildings. His eyes caught on a sign and he tugged Remus towards it.

They entered the small paladare and the person delivering food to one of the tables blinked at them both. Right. They were in clothing from the 1700s and were soaking wet. He met eyes with the woman, challenging her to say something. She did not.

They found a seat at one of the tables.

“Ah…” the worker said, approaching them. “English?”

“Ron,” Janus said, “por favor.”

Remus turned and started ordering the both of them food in Spanish. Janus didn’t pay attention to what he did.

 After his second shot of rum, Janus sighed and brought up his timepiece to ping the TPI. The reaction was almost instantaneous from their perspective. Remy all but kicked down the restaurant’s door and walked over to them. “How the fuck?”

“Ah, Remy,” Janus said calmly. “Have a seat. We’re waiting on our food.”

He did, but probably only because people were looking at them. “What are you doing here?”

“It’s been a long day,” Janus answered, “and I’m hungry.”

“Yeah, it certainly looks like you’re interested in the food,” Remy said, eyeing the empty shot glasses.

“Let’s just say, I’m glad Cuba started letting paladares legally serve liquor a few years ago.”

 It’s clear that Remy wanted to ask them what had happened, but he also was cautious enough not to make a scene here and Janus wasn’t planning on getting up until he’d at least gotten his food. “Why are you soaked, by the way?”

“Turns out the ocean isn’t as far away as we thought,” Janus said.

“Also, a church basement is flooded,” Remus said.

“Fantastic,” Remy replied.

They sat there mostly in tense silence until their food came, and then Remus and Janus ate. Remy slapped down some pesos once they were done and then proceeded to all but physically drag them out of the restaurant.

 They were led to an alley way and then through an old almost hidden door. Remy immediately rounded on them. “What the hell happened?” Remy asked.

“The time distortion caused level 5 time fractures in its vicinity, we almost drowned three times, and the worst person in the universe fucked me over again.”

“To be fair,” Remus said. “He did save our lives before that.”

“I saved our lives first,” Janus said. “I don’t have to be fair.”

“Oh, yeah, Mr. Curl Up In A Ball And Perish. I’m sure we would have been fine without him.”

“Anyway,” Janus said to Remy. “If you want your lump of flesh, I suggest you take it now, because Khalid is going to murder me, and then fire me, and then rehire me so she can put me on desk duty and make me do paperwork until the end of time.”

[just-my-sickly-pride]

The Night Comes Down || Brian May x fem!Reader x Roger Taylor

summary || one of the first rules you’d ever made with brian, your friends-with-benefits, eight months ago, was that anyone could back out of the arrangement at any time, for whatever reason, and then everything would go back to normal. back to how it was. and that’s fine. you have no problem with that. you’re fine. you’re so fine. it’s... fine.

rating || no smut, but some implied explicit content. warning: there is a brief scene where reader is being heavily pressured into kissing someone at a party.

word count || 9.7k

author’s notes || all good things must come to an end! so i’ve been working on this series for over a year. how did that even happen?? anyway yes this is the end of the try series. no it’s not a happy ending. i debated back and forth for a long time whether to end the series or not, but it felt too weird not to. and i couldn’t figure out any reasonable ‘happy’ way for it to end. a big big big thank you to everyone who’s stuck with me for this entire journey, or part of this journey, or even if you’re just tuning in now - thank you! and if you’re still somehow invested in this little ’verse after all this time, don’t abandon me just yet 👀 p.s. i think i’ve ironed out most of the timeline issues but don’t look too closely. this series is not my proudest in terms of continuity

masterlist

tag list: @the-huttslayer​ @scorpiogemini @redspecialty​ @supersonicfreddie​ @killer-queen-xo​ @a-night-at-the-0pera​ @rogerscupboard​

     Part of you had known it was inevitable. Another part of you liked to pretend that it wasn’t. But it was.

    It still felt like it had come out of nowhere, though.

    Brian was watching you cautiously, adjusting the grip on his laptop and workbook. “Did you… want to say anything, or…?”

    “Um…” You blinked a couple times, and shook your head. “Uh, no, I’m just… surprised?”

    “I feel like I’ve mentioned her a few times,” Brian said.

    “Once or twice, maybe,” you said. “I didn’t know that you and her…”

    “Yeah.” Brian scratched the back of his neck. “Yeah, we hooked up, like, two weeks ago, and then again a few nights ago, and we’ve been talking every day, so.”

    “Oh.” It sounded twisted, wonky, but you forced a smile onto your face, wondering why you felt so… uncomfortable hearing about this. “That’s great. And you like her?”

    “Yeah, I really do,” Brian said, and his voice sounded warm, and he had a little smile on his face, and something ugly and strange twisted in your gut. “And I want to take her on an actual date, but obviously, I’d feel a bit weird about it if I still had, y’know. A, uh, side arrangement. But you’re all right?”

    “Of course,” you said brightly. Side arrangement. “Yeah, why wouldn’t I be? That’s great, Brian, really. I’m – really glad you’ve found someone.”

    “It’s been a while, that’s for sure,” Brian said with a chuckle.

    “Are you going to tell Rog?”

    Brian frowned a little. “Um, no, I don’t think that’s necessary. I never had – anything with him. And he’s already met Dani, so.”

    “Oh!” Ah, Christ, that had sounded dreadful, even to your own ears. “Where– Where’d he meet her?”

    “The other day.” Brian gave you a sheepish smile. “The morning after. She ran into him in the kitchen.”

    You pushed a strained laugh out of you. “Oh, right, yeah, great.”

    Brian chuckled as well. “Yeah, it was a little awkward, but what can you do, right?”

    You swallowed, and nodded. Your face hurt from smiling.

    “You’ll love her,” Brian said. “She’s wonderful. She’s so smart, and funny, and she’s so pretty. I mean, so pretty. Absolutely beautiful. Completely knocked my socks off when I first saw her. Can’t believe she fancies me.”

    “Great,” you said. You were saying great too much. “She sounds–” Don’t. “–so great.”

    “She is.” Brian beamed. “You’ll have to meet her soon.”

    “I’m sure I will,” you said.

    “Yeah, I’m sure,” Brian said. He sighed happily. “Well, I should head off.”

    “Yeah, course,” you said. “Me too.”

    “I’ll message you,” Brian said. “We can arrange a dinner at the flat or something.”

    “Can’t wait!”

    Brian smiled, nodded in satisfaction, and then said, “All right, see you later.”

    “Bye!” You turned around and hurried away, in the opposite direction you needed to go.

    Hmm. Huh. Right. Okay. So. Brian just. He just.

    You went to the food court and sat down at the first available seat you could find.

    You took out your phone and immediately went to message Veronica.

    Brian just

    Your thumbs paused.

    He just what? He just found someone he wanted to date, and ended his arrangement with you. On paper, not that big of a deal. It was part of the unwritten contract of it all: any person was allowed to end things for whatever reason, and there would be no consequences. A rule you had written yourself, all those months ago.

    Side arrangement. Side piece. Dirty secret. Not as good as the real thing. Not as funny or smart or pretty or wonderful or beautiful as Danielle.

    You froze. Whoa, where had that come from?

    You weren’t jealous. You couldn’t have been jealous. You’d never wanted to date Brian. You still didn’t want to date Brian. You didn’t have a crush on him, and you never had. Brian didn’t break up with you.

    So what the everloving fuck was going on in your head right now?

    You put your phone away. Nope, you couldn’t go crying to Veronica for no damn reason. This had always been bound to happen, and now it had, so you just needed an hour or so to process it, and then things would be fine. You’d go back to normal.

-

    Your idea of ‘normal’ seemed to greatly differ from Brian’s.

     You didn’t hear from him for a week. Whereas before you’d talked every other day, he went almost totally radio silent. Every meme or message you sent was either seen and ignored, or responded to with a vague Haha or a thumbs-up.

    You met up with Roger on your usual catch-up night, but you hadn’t gotten very far into anything before he stopped and said, “You’re not really feeling it, are you?”

    You made a face. “Sorry.”

    “It’s fine.” He passed your shirt to you, and he fetched his from the floor and slipped it on. “So… Brian has a date tomorrow night.”

    You frowned. “He does?”

    Roger nodded. “Yeah, he didn’t tell you about it?”

    You looked down at your hands. “Um, no. He didn’t. I haven’t heard much from him, actually. After he… ended… things.”

    “Whoa,” Roger said, climbing onto the bed. “Wait, really? With you?”

    You nodded, and suddenly felt your throat close over. But you were not going to fucking cry about it, Jesus Christ. You swallowed it down, and gave Roger a mild look of interest. “Yeah. I didn’t even know he liked Dani, and then I ran into him at uni last week, and he just sort of said, ‘Hey, while I’m here,’ and then that was it. But I didn’t know the date was tomorrow night. He didn’t tell me.”

    “I’m sure he was just distracted,” Roger said. “He gets like that with a girl he likes.” He shook his head. “Damn, he must be serious about her.”

    “Yeah, must be.”

    Roger paused, and then said, “Are you… okay?”

    You shrugged. “Yeah, of course I am. Why wouldn’t I be?”

    “I dunno, it’s a pretty big… thing to have ended.”

    “No, I’m fine,” you said lightly, giving him a smile. “We’re still friends. And I’ve still got you, right?”

    “Yeah,” Roger said, although he didn’t sound entirely convinced.

    “Yeah. So I’m good.” You sighed, willing away all the gross mess of emotions you were feeling. “I’m not really feeling going all the way, but making out sounds good, if you’re down.”

    Luckily, that immediately distracted Roger, and he didn’t ask any further questions. And you poured everything you had into your kisses, hoping it would distract you, too.

-

    You were hoping things would settle down for you, emotionally, over the next two weeks or so.

    But that didn’t happen. Everything grew to be so much worse. Exponentially. You didn’t know whether you hated Brian, or Dani, or hated them as a couple, or if you just hated yourself. You couldn’t bear to be in the same room as the two of them, and you hadn’t spoken more than ten words to Dani. The thought of trying to be friends with her turned your stomach. She wasn’t particularly annoying, and she wasn’t a bad person in any way, but just something about her face and her voice and her fucking presence in your life just infuriated you.

    You couldn’t get the idea out of your head that she looked like a mouse. Or a rat. Small pointy nose, big dark eyes, slight buck teeth. She was curvy, and at least a foot shorter than Brian, although it was hard to tell with the heels and platforms she always wore. Her hair was browny-blonde and long and thick, and she wore it slicked back in a pony, like Ariana Grande. Her ears glittered with delicate piercings. She liked to draw on freckles.

    She was pretty. For a rat.

    You did your best to hide how you felt about her. You thought you should’ve gotten a freaking Oscar for how well you hid it. At least from Brian. On the rare occasion that Dani wasn’t by his side, you let him talk about her, and did your best to seem encouraging.

    There was a part of you – a bigger part than you wanted to admit – that believed they were going to break up soon enough. Then things could go back to normal, and this weird hiccup could be forgotten.

    But they didn’t break up. They stayed together.

    And so you ended up ranting about it all to Veronica. You knew you were really going on about it, and somehow you kept finding things to say about the situation when you knew there was nothing really more to say. Veronica listened, to a degree. But her advice was sensible and responsible and mature and you really didn’t feel like being any of those things. You wanted to throw a goddamn tantrum.

    So you turned to Roger. Thank God for his high sex drive.

    He wasn’t completely clueless. You had an air of desperation about you that you knew he could sense, and knowing that was almost enough to make you draw away from him, too.

    Almost. But he always took such good care of you. It was selfish to keep asking him to meet up, but you felt like you would explode if you didn’t.

    About a month after Brian and Dani had started dating, you and Roger were making out on the couch. It was rough, as sex frequently had been these past few weeks, and Roger’s grip on your waist was bruising as you rocked against him. Things were moments away from moving to the bedroom, when the front door opened unexpectedly.

    You quickly looked up, a deer in headlights, and your stomach dropped.

    “Oh, sorry,” Brian mumbled, ducking his head.

    “No, it’s fine,” you said, and you’d tried to go for nonchalant, but your voice came out too sharp.

    Roger tilted his head back. “Hi.”

    “Hi,” Brian said. You watched as he kicked his shoes off and chucked his keys on the kitchen table.

    “Sorry,” he said again, shooting you a quick glance. “I’ll just, uh…”

    He hurried to his room.

    There you were, looking already thoroughly debauched, on his couch, in Roger’s lap, and Brian had just ducked his head and ran.

    You stared after him, your heart twisting around itself. He hadn’t even… He didn’t…

    Once, he would have taken one look at you and pounced on you. He would’ve begged to kiss you, would’ve torn your clothes off.

    Now, he acted like he’d walked in on Roger having a one-night stand with some girl he’d picked up at a bar. He acted like he’d never even been attracted to you at all.

    Was it really so easy for him to move on? Were you really that forgettable?

    “You all right?” Roger asked, his thumb touching your bottom lip.

    You snapped to look at him. Shit, how much had you let on? “Yeah,” you said with a smile. “Just lost in my thoughts, nothing important.”

    “You sure?” Roger asked.

    You bit your lip and nodded. “Mm-hm. How about you take me to your room and fuck all those stupid little thoughts out of me?”

    Roger paused for a moment, like he wanted to say something more, but your tongue darted out, lapping at the pad of his thumb, and you kept your eyes on his as you licked his thumb into your mouth. You watched, half excited, half relieved, as his eyes glazed over, his gaze fixated on your lips around his thumb.

     It sickened you to even think about it, but you definitely had a little voice in the back of your head that hoped Brian could hear Roger fucking you.

-

    “We should hang out,” you said to Brian. Just over a month, now. Final exams were breathing down everyone’s necks. It didn’t help your situation. “I feel like I never get to see you anymore. You’re with your girlfriend all the time.”

    You’d run into him at uni. That was almost the only way you got to see him these days. And he no longer hugged you hello or goodbye, just kept a firm, amicable amount of distance between you.

    He didn’t often look you in the eye these days, either. He shifted about whenever you talked, like he wanted to be somewhere else.

    “Mm, yeah, maybe,” he said.

    You swallowed down the hurt. “How about a movie night? Or we could just hang out, just the two of us.”

    “Um.” Brian scratched his nose. “I’m pretty busy at the moment. Maybe we could do a group thing? That’d be fun. Me and Dani, John and Veronica, you and Rog.”

    You frowned. “Me and Rog?”

    “Yeah.”

    “We’re not together.”

    Brian shrugged. “I just thought– Well, I think it’d be nice. You two suit each other.”

    “We don’t want to be a couple, Brian. What are you on about?”

    “I just think it’d be good for you, that’s all. Being in a relationship is, well, really nice, and I think maybe you and Rog should at least give it a go.”

    You were gobsmacked. You wanted to throw something, yell a stern reminder of, Hey, are you fucking stupid? Do you not remember the past eight months of our lives where you seemed perfectly content to not be in a relationship? Remember how many times the two of us were hounded by our friends about dating? You fucking hypocrite.

    But you didn’t say any of that. There was an unspoken rule that neither of you ever brought up your old arrangement. It was as if it had never existed.

    Most of the time, it seemed like Brian wished it hadn’t. Like it was some embarrassing secret.

    “Well, we don’t want that, so you can mind your own business,” you said. “And where does Freddie fit into your little equation, anyway?”

    Brian shrugged again. “He could bring a date along as well, I don’t know.”

    “We’re not going on a– a quadruple date. Jesus.”

    “Just an idea,” Brian muttered.

    “You can still hang out with friends without your girlfriend, you know.”

    Brian sighed. “Okay. Well.”

    You sighed as well, gathering yourself. You tried again. “What about a party, or something? We haven’t been to a party in forever.”

    Brian hesitated. “Well, one of Dani’s friends is having a party this weekend.”

    Not exactly what you’d meant. “Maybe a little group of us could go?” you suggested. “If Dani’s all right with it? That could be fun.”

    Brian nodded to himself. “Yeah,” he said mildly. “Yeah, that could work. I’ll ask her.”

    “Great,” you said with a smile that you most certainly had to force onto your face. You began making a quick retreat, not waiting for him to formulate an excuse. “Text me, okay?”

    “Yep,” he said, and you could tell he was already forgetting about it completely.

    But, to your surprise, that weekend, you got a text from him. Dani said it’s all right if you and the others want to come along.

    Your lip curled. It hardly sounded like Brian wanted any of you there. great, you replied. pres at yours?

    I’ll actually be having pres at Lachlan’s, Brian sent. He’s one of Dani’s friends. But I’ll send you the details of the party and I’ll see you there.

    But no one else wanted to come.

    “No thanks,” Roger grumbled. “I’ve met some of Dani’s friends. They’re all complete wankers.”

    “But I don’t want to go alone,” you whined.

    “Ask Freddie. He’s always down for a good time.”

-

    I can’t darling, Freddie texted. work early the next day. they said if I turn up hung-over or still drunk one more time they’ll fire me

u don’t have to get that drunk, you replied hopefully. just drink a bit and then go home early

    then what would be the point of going lol?? Freddie sent.

-

    “Sorry,” Veronica said. “Studying.”

    You sulked. “You can’t afford to take a break just for a couple hours?”

    “No. And, honestly, I don’t want to enable whatever thing you’re going through right now. I think getting drunk around Brian would be a bad idea.”

    “I’ll be fine,” you said. “I just want an excuse to hang out as friends, okay? That’s all. It’s not enabling, it’s supporting.”

    Veronica made a sound that told you she disagreed. You huffed and gave up. What did she know, anyway?

-

    “Hey, Dea–”

    “I’m not going to that party tonight,” John cut in smoothly, not even looking up from his textbook.

    “But–”

    “I’d rather sever my own foot.” He glanced up at you, giving you an apologetic half-smile. “Sorry. I just can’t stand being around Brian and Dani. They’re insufferable.”

    At least that you could agree with.

-

    everyone else is busy, you texted Brian. You bit your lip, debating whether to ask, but, damn it, fuck it all – can I come to lachlan’s pres and go with u guys?

    It took him two hours to reply. Yeah, sure.

    You felt sick. This was a bad idea.

    It was by far too much trouble for what it was worth to get to Lachlan’s. You were terrified of turning up before Brian and Dani, so you arrived two and a half hours after when you were meant to be there.

    That was better. It was easier to rock up when everyone was already pissed.

    And they were very much pissed. Lachlan answered the door. He was tall and stocky, with brown hair and blue eyes. The sort of guy who looked like he’d played some kind of contact sport in high school, probably football, but now didn’t have a regular training schedule, and so was slowly losing the muscle he’d once had, replacing it with beer and burgers. The sort of guy who’d lose all of his hair by the time he was thirty-five, and get married so he’d have someone to get his beers for him when he was watching the game with the boys. The sort of guy who wanted kids because he liked the thought of telling people he had a couple of boys, rather than actually wanting to be a father.

    Or maybe you were making a snap-judgement.

    You introduced yourself, and he gave you a lopsided, skeezy grin, letting you into his place. “You here all on your own?” he asked.

    Your shoulders tensed. “No,” you said. “I’m a friend of Brian’s. Dani’s new boyfriend.”

    “Oh, yeah, sure, I know that. But you don’t have anyone to bring along with you?”

    “Not tonight,” you said vaguely. “Busy schedules. Finals aren’t too far away, and all that.”

    “Yeah, sick,” Lachlan said, looking you up and down. “Well.” He gestured with his beer to the crowd. “Make yourself at home.” He shot you another grin that made your hands grow clammy. “I’m glad Dani brought you along. Can’t wait to get to know you.”

    You gave him an uneasy smile in return, and frantically looked for Brian and Dani. You found them – Dani was sitting on Brian’s lap, yuck – and fled from Lachlan.

    “Hi,” you said.

    “Oh, hey,” Brian said, and you could tell right off the bat he’d had a bit to drink already. His hand was splayed over Dani’s thigh, holding her to him, and you couldn’t bear to look at it. “Thought you weren’t gonna come.”

    “I’m just late,” you said. “Hello, Dani.”

    She gave you a polite smile, but didn’t try to engage in conversation.

    Brian didn’t even notice. He squeezed Dani a little bit closer. “Well, you gonna drink?” he said.

    Yes. Yes, you were. You held up your plastic bottle filled with Sprite and too much vodka. “Yep.”

    Brian gave you a thumbs-up.

    Dani turned to him. “Just need to go to the bathroom, baby,” she murmured, tapping his hand.

    “All right, baby,” Brian murmured back, and you only just stopped yourself from making a face. The word baby sounded clunky, uncomfortable coming from Brian. “Be careful.”

    Dani leant in for a kiss, and you turned away, uncapping your bottle and taking a decent swig, grimacing at the burn. 

    Brian didn’t like pet names. You knew he didn’t like pet names. And yet this ‘baby’ thing had sprung out of nowhere, and it drove you up the fucking wall.

    You listened until the sound of Dani’s heels against the floorboards faded before you spoke. “‘Be careful’,” you muttered.

    “What?” Brian said.

    “She’s just walking to the toilet,” you said. “Not like she’s gonna get assaulted on the way.”

    Brian looked mildly annoyed. “I just don’t want her to trip and fall over and hurt herself. She’s a lightweight, and she’s wearing heels. I’m just… trying to be a good boyfriend.”

    You sighed. “Yeah, okay,” you said, not wanting to hear a word of it. You took another hefty swig of your drink. “I think I’ll, um, join the rest of the party.”

    So much for hanging out with Brian. You wanted to be near him, wanted to talk to him, but you couldn’t bear it for more than five minutes.

    You knew what it was – you wanted to talk to him how you used to. But you couldn’t do that anymore. Instead you had some weird, watered-down version of the Brian you knew.

    You joined in half-heartedly with a few drinking games, but quickly discovered that you weren’t really in the mood for getting smashed anyway.

    Brian and Dani stayed in their own little corner, giggling and whispering with each other, kissing and cuddling and being generally disgusting.

-

    You didn’t even think they’d bother coming to the actual party. But they did, and the group of fifteen or so people in Lachlan’s sharehouse all staggered along the street for about ten minutes to get to the main event.

    You’d managed to get along well enough with some of the girls, and Lachlan wouldn’t leave you alone, so you had no choice but to socialise. Which was good, in a way, because you lost Dani and Brian as soon as you walked into the party.

    Not that you particularly liked the girls you were talking to. Everyone just had such a weird vibe, like they weren’t sure if they could be bothered to talk to you, but also felt obliged to make you feel welcome. They kept bursting into laughter and you had no idea why, and no one bothered to explain the jokes. But then they complimented your outfit and asked you how your day had been, and they listened with encouraging nods and wide eyes of interest when you answered. Until someone said something that they found more interesting, and then they turned away from you when you were halfway through a sentence. It was off-putting, to say the least; you couldn’t seem to find your footing.

    Lachlan, however, was the icing on the cake. The sour, out-of-date icing on the stale cake. He flirted with you incessantly, either not picking up your clear signals that you weren’t interested, or just ignoring them. The others weren’t helping, either, egging the two of you on. A whole lot of wink-wink-nudge-nudge that you were not enjoying at all.

    You should’ve just gone home. You didn’t know why you didn’t just leave.

    But, for some reason, you stayed. Maybe you hoped that Brian would see your discomfort and come and talk to you – not that you’d seen him for the past hour – or that this strange group of people would want to talk with their friend Dani, and you’d be able to swoop in and catch up with Brian without Dani hanging around awkwardly.

    Whatever it was, it was a stupid reason.

    And then came truth or dare.

    You didn’t want to play, but you were roped into it regardless. There was a rule, you found out, that you were allowed to back out of one truth or dare, and you had to drink if you did so – but only the once, so you had to choose wisely. Someone dared you to show everyone what underwear you were wearing.

    Needless to say, you drank instead.

    You could tell that no one was very impressed with any of the dares or questions you came up with, even though your friendship group loved your questions and dares. This group seemed to like the brainless shit – if it was gross, or sexual, or nasty in any way, they were all over it. Barely anyone chose ‘truth’.

    Then it was Lachlan’s turn, and he turned to you. He grinned, and your stomach sank to the floor. “Dare you to kiss me,” he drawled, and the crowd gasped and ooh’d dramatically.

    You didn’t even hesitate to snatch up your cider, but Lachlan quickly said, “You’ve already drunk, you can’t do it twice.”

    “Well, I’m doing it twice,” you snapped, and took a swig.

    You received jeers and boos for that, and Gina, the girl beside you, took your beer from your hand and said, “You can’t do that!”

    “You gotta kiss me, that’s the rules,” Lachlan said above the sounds of everyone else.

    “I don’t want to,” you said, your voice wavering.

    “You have to,” said Savannah. “You have to, you have to, it’s the rules.”

    “Come on,” said – whatever her fucking name was. “Stop being such a pussy, just get it over with.”

    Lachlan was starting to look a bit pissed off by now. “Fucking hell, just come and kiss me,” he said. “Don’t be a bitch about it.”

    Your heart was pounding in your chest, and you could feel your hands starting to shake. “Jesus – no, all right? I don’t want to,” you snapped.

    The room felt too loud, too stuffy, too overwhelming.

    “Lachlan, just think of something else,” you said.

     “Okay, fine, whatever,” Gina complained. “Just do something else.”

     “No, I gave you a dare already,” Lachlan said sourly. “It’s not even that big of a deal, like, I don’t even know what the problem is.”

     “If she doesn’t want to-”

     “That’s the fucking rules,” Lachlan said, throwing his hands in the air like you were the one being unreasonable. “Is that not the fucking rules? Goddamn.”

     “Okay, then just kiss him already,” said whatever-the-fuck-her-name-was, waving you over. “Whatever, just hurry up.”

     “I’m fucking bored with this shit already,” Savannah said. “Just kiss him or don’t kiss him, whatever. God, this party sucks.”

     “It doesn’t suck, she’s just being a bitch,” Lachlan protested.

     “Don’t call me a bitch,” you said.

     “I’m just teasing,” Lachlan said, crawling over to you. You shrunk away from him, your heart beating like a cantering horse, and he grabbed your wrist. “One kiss, c’mon,” he said, his voice light and friendly, like you were happy to play along.

    But you weren’t happy to play along. You didn’t know if everyone was too drunk to notice your obvious discomfort, or they didn’t care, but this was crossing the goddamn line.

    “Fuck off, Lachlan,” you said, trying to pull your wrist back. You’d wanted your voice to be tough, to be assertive, but it was small and weak, and then Lachlan leant in for a kiss.

    You turned your face away. “Lachlan–”

    “Just fucking kiss me, for God’s sake, woman,” Lachlan growled, and grabbed your face with his other hand.

    You pushed his hand away, and, without thinking, blurted out the one word that your panicked brain told you would stop everything in its tracks: “Nickleback.”

    “What?” Lachlan said, and, good fucking God, of course that wouldn’t work, you were such a fucking idiot, and now you had no back-up plan, nothing else to do, and that word was supposed to stop things, why wasn’t it stopping things–

    But then Lachlan was gone, and you felt a hand grab your other wrist and yank you up from the floor, and you unthinkingly leant into the body the hand belonged to as you were led from the room and into a bedroom, and the noise around you became muffled as the door closed behind you.

    Then Brian was setting you down on the bed and sitting beside you. In an ideal world, he would have wrapped his arms around you and you would’ve been able to breathe again, like in a movie, but instead there was an awkward amount of space between you as he gingerly asked, “Are you all right?”

    You barely even snuck a glance at him. You were humiliated by what had just happened, humiliated by needing him to rescue you, humiliated by your desperate craving for his touch, his comfort. You stared at the floor, curling in on yourself, and you nodded silently. Your hands still shook from adrenaline, and you could hear your heartbeat in your ears.

    Brian sighed. “I’m sorry about them. I didn’t know…”

    You shook your head. “It’s fine,” you mumbled.

    Brian said nothing for a while, and then he reached over and patted you on the back. So achingly unfamiliar, and you felt your shoulders grow even more hunched than they already were. You didn’t think he’d ever touched you like that. Like you were a complete stranger.

    You ducked your head, squeezing your eyes shut. Don’t you dare fucking cry.

     There was a soft knock on the door, and Brian said, “Yeah?”

    You glanced up to see Dani poke her head in, and you quickly looked away again. “Hey, baby,” she said.

    Your stomach crawled.

    “Is everything okay?”

    “Yeah, it’s fine,” Brian said.

    “All right,” Dani said. You could feel her hovering awkwardly.

    Brian said your name, catching your attention, and then said, “I’ll just… let you have some time to yourself, all right?”

    You said nothing. You did nothing. And Brian stood up and left the room, closing the door behind him.

    “What happened?” came Dani’s voice from just outside the door.

    “Lachlan was harassing her,” Brian said.

    “They were just playing,” Dani said. “They’re all drunk, it’s just truth or dare.”

    “No, I know, but…”

    “You didn’t have to run in there like there was a fire and pull her out of there like that. Everyone’s going to ask me what that was all about. Where did that come from?”

    Your ears were straining to hear Brian’s response.

    “I… I just knew she needed to get out,” he said eventually.

    “She could have left if she was uncomfortable.”

    “She gets really anxious sometimes, she just freezes.”

    You realised, then, that he must’ve heard you say ‘Nickleback’. He must have heard it and immediately known that something was wrong.

    You groaned quietly to yourself, covering your face with your hands. Your ex-friend-with-benefits had heard you yell out your old safeword in the middle of a party, and had felt obliged to rush in like a knight in shining armour to swoop you to safety. Jesus Christ.

    “She’s an adult, baby,” Dani said. “I’m sure she was fine.” You heard someone sigh. “It’s sweet that you guys are friends, but you don’t have to…”

    “What?”

    “Look out for her that much.”

    “What do you mean? She’s my friend.”

    Dani was silent for a while. “Did you guys used to…?”

    The air was sucked from the room. Your ears strained to hear every word.

    “What?” Brian said, clearly thrown.

    “Did you used to date? It just seems like…”

    “No,” Brian said quickly. “No, we never dated.”

    “You’re not lying to me?”

    “No, baby. I promise you, we never dated.”

    You grimaced.

    Someone sighed again. “Okay,” Dani said. “Good. The last thing I’d want is for you to be friends with an ex.”

    Brian chuckled. It sounded forced. “Yeah, of course.”

    “I’m glad we agree. Gimme a kissy?”

    You could’ve thrown up right then and there. A kissy?

    You could hear them murmuring to each other, and Dani’s voice had a particular whiny, baby-talk tone to it that made you want to ‘accidentally’ open the door into the both of them. But then they left, and you were even more alone than before, and you lay down on the bed and curled into a ball, feeling sorry for yourself.

    It was time to go home.

-

    By the grace of God himself, Brian offered to wait outside with you, sitting beside you on the kerb, while you called a ride home. Dani stayed inside with her friends.

    “I’m sorry about… what happened,” Brian said, and you went still as a statue.

    “What do you mean?” you said softly.

    “Lachlan, and all of that.”

    You let out a breath. “Oh,” you said. “Yeah, that. It’s fine.”

    Silence. It wriggled under your skin like cockroaches.

    You wanted to touch Brian. You wanted him to touch you. You wanted Roger there, too. You wanted them to want you, like they used to. You wanted to be allowed to want them like they used to love.

    But Roger wasn’t there. And Brian barely was, either.

    “Brian?” Dani called from the front door.

    Brian twisted around. “Yeah, I’m here.”

    “Oh, okay. Just checking everything’s good.”

    “Yeah, we’re fine. Still waiting for the car.”

    “Okay. See you inside.”

    “Yep.”

    “Miss you, baby.”

    Brian chuckled. “Miss you too.”

    You waited until Brian had turned back around to face the road, and then blurted out, “Why do you let her call you that? You hate pet names.”

    Brian frowned, looking to you. “What?”

    “Pet names. You hate them.”

    “I don’t hate them,” he said.

    “You don’t like them, at least.”

    “According to who?”

    “According to you,” you said. “You told me. And you never–” You never called me anything but my name when we were fucking. “You never said you liked them.”

    “Well, I do,” Brian said. “And why do you care, anyway?”

    “I just think it’s weird,” you said, and you were aiming for casual but you knew you sounded brash. “You don’t sound like yourself.”

    “I’ve never had a girlfriend the whole time we’ve known each other,” Brian said. “You don’t know what I’m like when I’m in a relationship.”

    “You shouldn’t change who you are when you’re in a relationship,” you said. “That doesn’t make sense.”

    “I’m not changing who I am,” Brian said, his face pinched. “What has gotten into you?”

    “Nothing,” you said harshly. “I just think you’re lying to yourself. You don’t like calling her baby, and you don’t like being called baby, and I just think it’s weird that you wouldn’t just say that.”

    “Well, I just think it’s weird you think you have the right to comment on my relationship,” Brian said. “I like calling her baby. And I like it when she calls me baby.”

    “But you don’t,” you insisted. “I can hear it in your voice.”

    “What?” Brian exclaimed. “What the fuck are you on about?”

    “I know you, okay?” you snapped. “I know you far better than she does. And I know you don’t like pet names, but you won’t tell her for some reason.”

    “I won’t tell her because I like them,” Brian said. “And she knows me, too, you know.”

    “She’s known you for, like, two months! Less than!” you said. “That’s nothing.”

    “Why…” Brian floundered. “There isn’t some – time limit on these things. You can’t judge if someone knows someone better just by how long…”

    “I just don’t get it,” you said. “Maybe that’s my fault, but I don’t get how someone can just walk into your life and suddenly they’re the most important person you’ve ever met when you’ve only known them for five minutes.”

    “You’ve clearly never fallen in love,” Brian said snootily.

    “Oh, fuck off,” you scoffed. “You’re not in love with her.”

    “How would you know?”

    “You’ve only been dating a couple weeks! Come on, Brian. You can call each other baby all you like, but I know you.”

    “I like pet names,” Brian said, his voice hard. “I just never called you one because, in case you’ve forgotten, you were never my fucking girlfriend. So, for the love of God, can you stop acting like a jealous ex.”

    It was like a stab to the gut and a twist of the knife all at the same time. All you could do was sit in stunned silence.

    Brian looked at you, almost like he was waiting for a response, and when he never received one, he sighed, stood, and left.

    Your chin wobbled, your vision blurred, and you scrabbled for your phone in your handbag.

-

    Roger opened the door. “Hey–”

    You leapt onto him, kissing him furiously. He stumbled, but kept his balance, one arm curling around your waist and the other groping for the door, pushing it closed. You spun him around and backed him up, pressing him against the door, and ducked your head to suck at his neck, palming at him through his sweatpants.

    Roger jumped. “Oh, God, okay,” he said with a surprised laugh. “You’re really…”

    You nodded, and captured his lips again, nipping at his bottom lip. “I want you so bad,” you breathed. “I want you to fuck me hard, Daddy, please.”

    You didn’t wait for him to reply, and kissed him. You slipped your hands into his underwear, and he tensed underneath you, surprised again.

    You needed him to fuck you, to bruise you, to bite you. To make you feel wanted, needed. To mark you up, to make you scream, to make it hurt. You needed it so badly that your hands shook.

    Roger put a hand to your collarbones, and you thought he was going to choke you, but instead he pushed you back, just enough to stare into your face.

    “Are you sure you want to call me Daddy?” he asked unsurely. “You seem a little…”

    “What?” you said.

    “Not yourself,” Roger said. “Are you– Have you been drinking?”

    “The fuck does that mean?” you said. “I just really need you to fuck me hard, does that not sound like me?”

    “I don’t–”

    “Roger,” you cut in sharply, and then quickly softened your tone into something whinier, needier, more enticing. “Daddy. I want you. Please.”

    Roger’s frown never disappeared. “I don’t want you to call me Daddy,” he said.

    You blinked, taken aback. “Um, okay,” you said. You could still work with that. “No Daddy.” You went to kiss him again, but he held you away.

    You resisted huffing in frustration. “Roger…”

    “This is about Brian, isn’t it?” he said.

    “What?” you said. “No. Why would it be about Brian? I want you.”

    “You’re drunk and upset and jealous, and you want me to fuck you how he used to fuck you, because you miss it.”

    A slap to the face would’ve hurt less. Your hands fell limp at your sides. “What?”

    “Is that not what’s happening right now?” Roger said, his hands dropping as well. “Is that not why you’re over? You went to that party, got yourself all worked up and upset, and now you want to be fucked how Brian used to fuck you?”

    You blinked. “N– No,” you said, and you meant it, but the more Roger said it, the more you thought that maybe he was right, and you hadn’t even realised.

    “Because it’s what it feels like,” Roger said. “It feels like I’m just an outlet for you. It’s not even about you and me anymore, it’s about you and him.”

    Oh my God. You hated to admit it, but he was right. You covered your mouth with your hands, horrified at yourself. “Fuck, Roger, I…”

    “I’m ending the arrangement between us,” he said simply. “It’s not fun anymore, and it’s definitely not healthy. You need time to… I don’t even know. But you need time, and I don’t really feel like being collateral damage. Especially not with end-of-year exams literally just around the corner.”

    No. No, no, no, fuck, not this, anything but this.

    “No, Rog, please, I’m sorry,” you said. “I wasn’t thinking, I– I can’t–” You felt tears welling up in your eyes. “Please. I…”

    Roger sighed, and pulled you into a hug. You clutched onto him, and, finally, cried. “Jesus Christ,” he murmured sympathetically, stroking your hair. “This whole thing has really messed you up, hasn’t it?”

    “I c– can’t lose you t– too,” you sobbed into his shirt.

    “You’re not losing me. We’re still friends. It just… won’t be with the benefits anymore. For now, at least. Maybe forever, I don’t know. See how things go. But I’m never going to stop being friends with you.”

    Your body shook as you cried, and Roger rubbed your back, letting you ruin his shirt.

-

    The Bee Movie played on the TV, but your heart wasn’t in it. You leant against Roger, a cup of tea in your hands, and one in his. You were exhausted from crying, and you almost found yourself nodding off. Normally there was nothing more fun than enjoying the trials and tribulations of Barry B. Benson with Roger, but now not even casual bestiality was enough to cheer you up.

    Roger didn’t say much, either. You had no idea what he was thinking, although you were pretty sure he wasn’t really watching the movie, just staring at the screen.

    “I’m sorry,” you said, your voice breaking a little.

    Roger sighed. “It’s okay,” he said, giving you a soft, sad smile. “I know you’re going through a tough time right now.”

    “I don’t even understand why,” you said, your bottom lip trembling. Not again. “I never liked him like that, not ever. I know I never liked him like that. I didn’t want to go out on dates with him, or be his girlfriend, or any of that. So I don’t get why it – hurts so much.”

    “Your thing went on for a really long time,” Roger reasoned. “And now it’s gone. I can’t blame you. I…” He bit his lip. “I… kinda miss it too, to be honest.”

    You frowned at him in confusion. “You miss… Brian?”

    “I miss…” Roger took a sip of his tea. “I miss the dynamic, I suppose. We actually got a lot closer because of it. And it was fun, you know? Especially the threesomes, those were really fun.”

    You managed a tired laugh.

    “It was just nice to have… a thing, that was ours,” Roger said. “Us three, I don’t know. This thing that was ours. I don’t know if that makes sense.”

    “No, it does,” you said. You paused, and then said, “You and Brian aren’t as close now?”

    Roger shrugged a shoulder. “Not… really?” he said unsurely. “We haven’t really hung out a lot recently. I mean, we’ve been studying a lot, so I haven’t really seen much of anyone as of late, but, like, for a while, me and Brian hung out a whole lot, just the two of us. Guess you end up feeling closer when you have to talk about your feelings all the time. And when you see each other naked every so often.” He shot you a smile, and you smiled back. “But now it’s sort of in a weird place. I mean, none of us have seen him a lot, he’s just with Dani all day and night. Which makes sense, they’re in their honeymoon phase. But I do miss… that.”

    You nodded in understanding. “It doesn’t even feel like he wants to be around me,” you said in a small voice. “Like I’m not even friends with him anymore.”

    “You are,” Roger assured you. “You just… both have to learn how to be… normal friends again.”

    “And us too,” you added.

    Roger blinked, but nodded. “Yeah,” he said. “Yeah, us, too.”

    You didn’t want to say it, you knew you shouldn’t say it, but the alcohol had loosened your tongue: “You gonna miss me?”

    Roger’s eyes widened for a moment, and then he took a big breath in and out, shaking his head. “Damn,” he muttered.

    “Sorry, ignore me,” you mumbled. “I’m just being sad and pathetic.”

    “You’re not sad and pathetic,” Roger said. “But I’m not gonna miss you, you’ll still be around.”

    “You know what I mean,” you said.

    “Yeah, I know,” Roger said. He sighed again. “I don’t think… it would be good for either of us if I answered that.”

    You said nothing. It felt like Roger wanted to say more, but he didn’t.

    “But…” You looked to him, and he looked to you. “Can we still be friends like before?” you asked him. “I mean, just – with Brian, he won’t even hug me hello or goodbye, he barely looks at me, he doesn’t want to be near me, I just–” You shook your head. “I couldn’t stand it if you did that, too. Can we at least just be friends?”

    Roger nodded. “Of course,” he said.

    “Yes?”

    “Yes, of course,” he said again. “I promise you, okay? I like hugs just as much as you do.”

    You nodded, reassured. “Thank you.”

    Roger threw his arm around you and gave you a squeeze, then took his arm back.

    A month and a bit ago, he would’ve left his arm there, around your shoulders. You would’ve pressed closer into him. Probably eventually would’ve lifted your head to kiss his neck, or maybe your hands – or his hands – would’ve gone wandering.

    But a squeeze was something, at least, and you were grateful for it. You told yourself you were grateful for it.

-

Three-ish months later

    The air was just starting to cool, and, for the first time in a while, you pulled on a jacket.

    It had been a while since you’d seen your flat. You’d gone home for the summer – not for the whole time, you still had rent to pay and you didn’t want to waste it, but for a few weeks – which had been a welcomed change of scenery.

    After how your previous semester of uni had ended, the last thing you’d wanted was to hang around the flat.

    It had been an uncomfortable summer. The mid-year break, last year, you hadn’t gone home. You’d told your parents it was because of the rent thing, but in reality, it had mostly been about Roger and Brian. A month off uni, and your flatmate Lucy had gone home for the break, meaning you had a free house? That had been a wild couple of weeks.

    You shook your head. Stop, you reprimanded yourself. It did you no good to reminisce. You’d had an entire summer to sort things out for yourself, to reset, and it was a bad idea to let yourself slip. You’d barely spoken to Roger or Brian all summer, just to give yourself some space.

    You’d missed them. A lot. Maybe cried once or twice. Maybe more. But that was only for you to know.

    You doubted that they’d missed you.

    The thought still felt like a stab to the gut, and you squeezed your eyes shut, shaking your head at yourself. Stop it. Stop.

    There was a knock on the front door, and you were momentarily surprised – but you knew it was Veronica. You took a moment to get your thoughts together, then hurried to the door to let her in.

    She greeted you with a joyous cry of your name and a warm hug. “It’s been so long!”

    The two of you rocked from foot to foot, and you breathed in her familiar smell. You hadn’t seen her since before Christmas.

    When the hug eventually ended, Veronica sighed happily. “Can’t believe I’ve missed you,” she said, and you laughed, giving her a backhand slap on the arm.

    “Cow,” you said.

    “So you’ve kept the same place?”

    “Yep,” you said.

    “Lucy still your flatmate?”

    “Yeah. It works well, so.”

    “No, no, she’s lovely,” Veronica said with a nod. “Did she want to come to drinks tonight?”

    You glanced towards Lucy’s room instinctively, even though you knew she wasn’t in there. “She’s not coming back until Wednesday, I think.”

    “Ah, well, answers that question.” Veronica gave you a smile. You could tell there was a question on the tip of her tongue, and you just stood there, waiting for her to ask it.

    She sighed again, resigned. She knew she’d been sprung. “I wasn’t going to ask. I– I wasn’t sure if I should.”

    “I’m okay,” you said. “I’m fine.”

    Veronica squinted at you unsurely, like she wanted to press you for further information, but wasn’t sure if it was a good idea. “Fine?”

    “It’s been a bit rough, but I’m okay,” you said.

    You’d tell her the truth soon enough. You had no willpower when it came to Veronica. But you weren’t in the mood for a whole conversation right now.

    “So you’re all right for tonight?”

    You rolled your eyes. “Am I capable of getting drinks with my friends? Yes, I think so.”

    “Even though Dani will be there?”

    “Brian and Dani have been dating for, like, five months now – and don’t say it like that. Brian isn’t my ex.”

    “Roger’s dating someone,” Veronica blurted.

    Your heart leapt into your throat. Stop. “Oh?” you said, and it sounded warped and wonky. “Since when? Good for him. Have you met her?”

    “Once,” Veronica said. “Just last week, when I dropped by the flat. Her name is–” She let out a laugh. “Actually, this is really funny. Her name is Freddy.”

    You laughed. “What?” you squawked. “Freddy?”

    “Freddy with a Y,” Veronica said. “Roger made that very clear when I met her. As if that changes anything.”

    “God, I bet that’s confusing in bed,” you said.

    “Yeah, well, I’m guessing the ‘with a Y’ part makes all the difference for Roger.”

    “Freddy,” you mused. “What’s it short for?”

    “No idea. But she’s not as hot as you are.”

    You shot Veronica a mock glare. “Roger isn’t my ex either.”

    “Still,” Veronica said lightly. She hesitated, and then said, “Have you spoken to either of them recently?”

    “No, not really,” you said, as casually as you could muster. “Look, Ron, could we just… table this conversation for later? I’m not really up to it.”

    “Yeah, of course,” Veronica said, waving a hand. “Sorry, sorry, I’ll keep my nose out of it. Let’s just go. Are you ready?”

    You took a steadying breath. “So ready,” you said, hoping you sounded more confident than you felt.

-

    Arriving at the local pub felt like coming home. The smell of beer, the roar of conversation, the bundles of people crowded around tables. The floor was sticky, there weren’t enough places to sit, and the prices up on the chalkboard on the wall were far too high.

    You scrunched your nose. Coming home sucked.

    “I forgot how much I hate this place,” you yelled into Veronica’s ear. “We need to find somewhere less popular, Jesus.”

    “I know,” Veronica said. “I’ve mentioned it to John; he thinks the same.”

    “Next time.”

    “Yeah, next time.”

    You said that every time.

    Veronica corroborated her instructional texts from John with the view in front of her in order to find everyone else. They were tucked away in a corner booth, crammed into the space.

    You’d had enough trouble as it was, trying to fit everyone into a booth. You couldn’t even imagine how you were going to make it work with two new people in the group.

    Veronica took your hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze as you neared the table.

    There was John, at the end of the booth, facing you – his eyes lit up when he spotted Veronica, and began shifting over to make room for her beside him. At the end of the table, on a chair, was Freddie. He noticed John’s line of sight, and he turned to you, his smile wide.

    You couldn’t really see the others. Just the back of Brian’s head. But that was hard to miss.

    Freddie stood up to give you a warm hug as Veronica tossed around a few ‘hello’s and slid in next to John. “Darling!” Freddie said. “I haven’t seen you all break.”

    “I know, I’m sorry,” you said.

    Freddie waved you off. “It’s fine,” he said. “I understand.” He glanced towards the other occupants of the booth.

    “Don’t start,” you muttered, and Freddie gave your arm a swift pat.

    “Speaking of which,” he said, turning. “Roger, Brian, you remember our dear friend, I’m sure?”

    You resisted elbowing Freddie in the side, giving Brian and Roger tight smiles.

    At the same time, your eyes landed on Dani and her browny blonde Ariana Grande ponytail and her mouse face and her curvy body pressed into Brian’s side. And beside Roger, tucked under his arm, was a blonde, tanned girl. Blue eyes, like Roger, but hers were light, strikingly so, and a perfect full face of make-up. Her brows were dark and bold, and her lips looked pouty and soft.

    ‘Not as hot as you were’ your arse. This girl looked like she modelled in her spare time.

    Your jaw clenched. You resisted dragging Veronica away by her ear and having a word with her.

    Stop it. Stop it.

    “This is Freddy,” Freddie said.

    “With a Y,” Roger added quickly.

    “Yes, with a Y,” Freddie said dryly. “Roger’s new flame.”

    “Hi,” Freddy said with a smile. Her teeth were very white. She lifted a well-manicured hand to fiddle with the silver chain around her neck.

    You could see the discolouration on her knuckles. Well, at least you knew her tan wasn’t real. That was something. Wasn’t it?

    No. It wasn’t. She looked incredible anyway. Didn’t even matter that she was wearing fake tan. What a stupid thing to think.

    You introduced yourself.

    There was a pause where no one really knew what to say next.

    “Hi, by the way,” John said.

    Relieved, you gave him a smile. “Hi, John, how are you?”

    “Not too bad. Do you want to find a chair?”

    God bless John Deacon. “Let me help you,” Freddie said, and you both began wandering through the crowd together, knowing there was no way in hell you’d be able to find a chair.

    “How are you?” Freddie asked. “Actually, sod the fucking chair, let’s get a drink.”

    “Sounds superb,” you said.

    “Try again,” Freddie said when you’d gotten in line. “How are you?”

    “Fine,” you said. “And you?”

    “Good, fine,” Freddie said. “Lonely. I want a boyfriend. Everyone else is in a godforsaken relationship, so I only think it’s reasonable. Look at me, the token lonely, single homosexual in a group of straight people. Right out of an early 2000s chick flick. I may as well start wearing skinny scarves and a vest and talk about how much I love shopping. Do you think I’m sassy enough?”

    “Stop it,” you said. “If you start wearing skinny scarves, I’ll strangle you with one.”

    “If I start wearing skinny scarves, I’d practically be begging you to,” Freddie muttered.

    “I’m sorry you’re lonely,” you said. “I could be your wingwoman, if you like. We could go out together.”

    Freddie gave you a smile. “Yeah, I’d like that,” he said. His eyes scanned the chalkboard, as did yours, but it was more habit than anything else. “What did you get up to during the break?”

    “Slept,” you said, and Freddie chuckled, nodding in agreement.

    “Ate too much,” he added.

    “Yep, that too,” you said with a laugh. “Never left the house.”

    “Except to buy more booze.”

    “Or take the bins out.”

    Freddie laughed. “Isn’t summer wonderful.”

    “Oh, it’s just perfect,” you said, and it came out so bitter, with such a sneer in your tone, that Freddie cracked up. A few heads turned, but they usually did, with Freddie.

    “Did you stay here or go home?” you asked.

    “Both,” Freddie said. “Mostly here, though. Just wanted to see the family for a while, but I’m far more comfortable here.”

    You nodded.

    “Did you talk to Brian and Roger much?” Freddie said.

    You shook your head. “No.”

    That was all.

    “Well, shit,” Freddie said. “That’s all just completely fucked, then?”

    “It’s fine,” you said. You reached the front of the line, and went to order. Freddie followed you.

    You ordered a cider, then Freddie ordered a pint. “What do you think of Freddy with a Y?” Freddie asked as the bartender poured your drinks.

    “I’ve barely met her,” you said. “Didn’t know she existed until Ron told me just before we left mine.”

    “Jesus,” Freddie said. “You really haven’t spoken to them.”

    “No,” you said. “And Roger doesn’t post much on social media, either, so. And Brian posts far too much, so I know way too much about him and Dani for my liking, which is wonderful.”

    “I’m sorry,” Freddie said. “God, I’m sorry it’s all gone to shit, I really am. That’s miserable, darling.”

    “It’s fine,” you said. The bartender set your drinks in front of you, and you and Freddie collected them, weaving your way back to the table.

    “Did you… get around to dating much?” Freddie asked.

    “Wasn’t in the mood,” you said.

    Freddie said nothing. Message received.

    You arrived back at the booth. While you’d gotten a drink, you hadn’t solved the seating problem.

    You bunched up next to Veronica. It wasn’t comfortable, but it wasn’t unbearable.

    You met Brian’s eyes across the table. He gave you a warm smile. It hurt. You hated that it hurt. “I haven’t said hi yet,” he said, like you hadn’t just gone three months without seeing or speaking to each other. “How you going?”

    “Good, good,” you said, and took a swig of cider. “You?”

    “Yeah, great. Get up to much?”

    “Not really. Did you?”

    “Not too much,” Brian said. “Dani and I took a little trip south. That was nice, wasn’t it, baby?”

    “So nice,” Dani said with a cheeky, knowing little grin at Brian.

    He shook his head at her, and she giggled, then reached up for a quick kiss.

     You knew about the little trip south. Everybody knew about the little trip south. Brian had waxed poetry about it on Instagram for every single day they were away. “So lots of sex, then,” you said.

    Veronica choked on her water, and Roger burst out laughing.

    You hadn’t realised he’d been listening to the conversation.

    Dani’s face was turning tomato-red, and she hid her face behind her hand. Brian managed a good-natured chuckle, albeit a slightly forced one, and you could tell he was rubbing Dani’s knee under the table.

    “What, what was the joke?” Freddie said immediately.

    “Nothing,” you said, and turned to Roger. “So, Freddy, with a Y, how did you and Roger meet?”

    “Bumble,” Freddy said, unabashed. “About a month ago?”

    “Yeah, about that,” Roger said.

    “Yeah, Ron said,” you said. “That’s nice.”

    “So there’s…” Roger licked his bottom lip. “There’s no one you’ve got your eye on, then?”

    “No,” you said, uncomfortable. Why would anyone want you? You were messy, you were too much. You were demanding. You were easily replaced.

    You took a sip of cider. Stop.

    It had been three months, for God’s sake. Three months of no contact, and still you were left with an ugly, twisted feeling in the pit of your stomach after everything that had happened.

    None of it had even mattered. You’d always known it had had an expiration date. You were just…

    You hated feeling like this.

    “Hey,” Veronica said suddenly, raising her glass of water. “Let’s make a toast, shall we? To the new year. To– to passing our classes, and to ramen, and to… fresh starts.”

    Everyone raised their glasses, saying something along the lines of cheers, and began clinking their glasses together. You took a moment longer, but joined in.

    Veronica met your eyes to clink her glass to yours. “Fresh starts,” she said with a small smile.

    You couldn’t quite say it back, so you smiled and nodded, then took a sip of your cider.

    You could feel Brian’s and Roger’s eyes on you. You pretended to be interested in something happening across the room.

    God, you couldn’t wait for this chapter of your life to be nothing but a bad dream.

[kachulein]

Yeah, I did thank god get my poor album safe and all but bruh, I was ready to throttle the post office sjsjsh still weird tho how thw tracking system got the address all wonky 🤔

Aaaa so much stuff to catch up on

I think I saw teasers and all for everything but then I just forgot about it sjshd I need to marathon everything. And that thumbnail aaaaaa 👁️👄👁️🔥

I've listened to Dreamers actually but then I had a mental shock when I noticed it was released such a while ago 😂 And eyyy, I did see that Mingi was back 🤧 that's good to hear!

Anyway, time for a marathon I guess sjshdh

(@ the tags, I see, I see 👀 my first reaction to those pics was just immediate "my bard son needs this look" 😂👌)

Oof, I'm glad to hear that you got your precious album at last🤧 and yeah, that's super weird?? Like, what went wrong there?!🤨🤨🤨🤨

And yes, right, they've all been releasing new music and went on variety shows and released vlogs and mv reactions and all kinds of stuff and I don't even know where to start with watching all of that and even more, finding time to do so because uni is kicking my butt these days sdkskjkl

And omg I feel that, it happens to me too sometimes💀 but I wish you lots of fun with the catching up marathon and listening to the songs/watching the mv's!!😌👉🏼👈🏼

Also, me too, tbh, me too. I completely missed the release for Dreamers? At some point I went to Ateez' profile and saw that song and was like huh? what song is that? But when I realized it was a Japanese release, it all made sense. Because honestly??? Why?? do Japanese releases always get swept under the rug?? They're never really promoted, especially not in comparison to how much their usual comebacks get promoted (and this is not specifically for Ateez but in general), so I always feel like it's soooo easy to miss a Japaness release- 😳 But yes, I love the song and all their new ones as well, I hope you'll enjoy them too!!🥰

(oof, I get that. That look was so iconic and is, to this day, one of my favourite Eric looks. I'm sure your bard son will look amazing in this🤚🏻😌)

[peterstanslizzie]

Reacting To: Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts (Season 3 Episode 2)

Episode Title: Code Word Milkshake

Spoiler Warning: Kindly proceed if you’ve already seen the episode or are able to handle spoilers 

1. OMG! A K-pop song? That’s so cool! It sounds like BTS lol. And the song is pretty catchy too 🎵; “Dive into my ocean of love”. It’s such a bop! We see the mutes (even the Mod Frogs) fangirling HARD. But what animals are these guys supposed to be? Are they dolphins? But why do they have horns? And apparently abs as well: 

2. Aww but the leader of the group, Hyun Soo (as revealed in the subtitles) soon gets paralyzed by a dart and is kidnapped after signing fan autographs. And of course, it’s the doing of Dr. Emilia as she’s seen testing a serum sample on Hyun Soo. Again, I’m impressed with her ability to be so stealthy. However, she’s finding it difficult in getting the right formula for the genetic serum since none of the samples she’s used so far has worked on the kidnapped mutes. BTW, Jamack talking to Hyun Soo is hilarious. 

3. In Timbercat Village, Kipo is planning with HMUFA a mission to find Emilia, rescue their friends and retrieve Song’s research journal. Oh, did Asher get a haircut? If so, they look really nice.

4. Our boy, Benson wants Troy to come along because he feels safer when he’s around. How precious! I’m  happy he gets to go on a mission with Kipo for the first time too. It’s nice to mix groups up sometimes. And it looks like it’s just gonna be a human/hybrid-only mission because the mutes won’t be able to handle Emilia’s sonic emitter. Dave is upset that he won’t be able to tag along with them. I think it’s a good thing to sit this one out because he does have a tendency to die during their missions lol.

5. They manage to hitch a ride on a couple of dragonfly mutes due to Kipo coming up with the codeword, “Milkshake” to keep situations calm.  Random but okay. As they’re flying over the sea, they spot a ship, which definitely belongs to Emilia since we hear Zane asking Greta to turn on the sonic emitter as some mysterious sea creature was circling around them. Because the dragonflies are not immune to the sound, this causes them all to fall into the water

6. The group tries to climb over the ship to get a peek of the situation aboard and they can see the burrow humans enjoying their time there, splish-splashing in a giant pool paired with a crazy slide and everything. 

7. Dave lets Lio and Roberto know that he wants to have a boys night out (BNO) with them. But it’s clear that he’s doing this because he still feels salty about not being included in the stealth mission. Roberto looks like he doesn’t want to go out but Lio is down to hangout with Dave-o lol. 

8. Back on the Dr. Emilia’s ship, Kipo and gang try to find her lab but they almost got spotted by a blonde human girl, who apparently is able to hear Hyun Soo  sing through the cafeteria vents and thus, wants him to sing for her. Kipo and Troy actually recognize her from their old burrow. She’s actually Hoag’s daugther, Doag! I can’t believe he named his daughter that lol. Anyways, they were all actually friendly with one another, so we shall see if she’s willing to help them or not. Doag really likes dancing and we see her dancing around to Hyun Soo’s singing. She then does a split and spots them. Well, she doesn’t look alarmed actually. 

9. Meanwhile, Dave and Lio are playing cards but afterward, they went to check out the so-called “community bonding” session between Timbercats and the Umlaut snakes. At first, it seems like they are having a huge argument but they’re actually just writing a song and having a couple of debates. It’s song-break time. This time, the song is called ‘Friendship Alliance’. How fitting. After the performance, Lio says he wants to go to bed but Dave isn’t done yet and wants him to check out his secret stash of explosion berry cola.

10. Doag explains to the group that Dr. Emilia has been treating them nicely so far but they want her to know the truth about Emilia who has been trying to kill Kipo since she was a baby. Plus, according to Troy (and Benson from earlier on), she didn’t eat his Benson’s pancakes. Troy is way more upset about the part about the pancakes, which of course he has to be since it’s his boo’s pancakes. But my goodness, Doag’s voice is like nails on the chalkboard. Don’t you agree? 

11. I think it’s hard for them to convince her that Dr. Emilia is a bad person, especially since they don’t have any real evidence to show. Emilia is like a savior to these humans. Fortunately, Doag wants to help them rescue Boom-Boom, Jamack, Camille and Hyun Soo regardless. 

12. She takes them to Dr. Emilia’s lab, which isn’t very hidden like they said lol. The door’s locked but Troy, the skilled magician was able to pick the lock no problem. Benson is impressed and he actually addressed him as his boyfriend! Cute!

13. They enter the lab and we see all the kidnapped mutes trapped in their individual mute-proof cells. Aww the way Jamack called Kipo, Burrow Girl was so sweet. He has come a really long way with her since Season 1 huh? I don’t know what’s up with Boom-Boom but she(?) doesn’t look too good, almost unhinged. So, Hyun Soo is known as a Dolphicon! I guess that’s short for Dolphin and Unicorn. That’s explains the horn. I actually like the name “Wall Siren” for him as well. Despite only speaking in Korean, Hyun Soo does seem to understand English when Doag asks him “who are you?”. I feel like the introduction of Hyun Soo is like paying homage to Kipo’s animation studio, Studio Mir, which is in fact South Korean. 

14. Kipo proceeds to then break them out of their cells. Doag declares she’s going to help them escape. I actually hope there’s a chance that she would be part of Kipo’s group officially. She seems cool, mostly lol. Wolf also finds Song’s research journal but before they could make their escape, the traumatized Boom-Boom looks at the needles Dr. Emilia has been using on her, freaks out and drops her nectar bombs on them, which causes the whole lab to explode.  Boom-Boom needs therapy for sure. Ughh…Wolf also accidentally drops the journal and leaves it behind the lab. That book is probably destroyed. 

15. Back at Timbercat village, I assume Lio had already drank the cola before he is super hyped. Yumyan also joins in on their shenanigans and he gives them the idea to steal Molly’s axe and put it in an axe bush (is that what Yumyan said?). Also, is this supposed to be a pun or something?

16. Doag puts Hyun Soo in their getaway boat but it’s weird since he’s a dolphin and can just swim in the water instead lol. They’re supposed to leave now but Kipo wants to face Emilia now. I say she’s making a bad decision here. Dr. Emilia then arrive with Greta and Zane but Wolf takes out the latter two easily. The rest of the humans come out to the deck to see what the ruckus is all about and Emilia tries to play coy and innocent with them. 

17. Hoag notices that his daughter isn’t around. Our heroes try to explain to the humans that Dr. Emilia is the bad guy; They told about how Song is the Mega Monkey and how she got her to attack and destroy their home back in Season 1. And they explain that she mind-controlled Song to kill her own daughter. 

Even grandma can deliver a beatdown on someone lol

18.The humans are reluctant to believe them because it does sound very farfetched. But c’mon…they should know by know that Las Vistas is a messed up place; Anything can happen. Also, don’t they remember the Mega Monkey saving them from getting gilded in Season 2. Suddenly, Hoag makes an attempt to paralyze Kipo with one of the darts but she quickly reacts and knocks him out. The humans see this and they get mad at her. Eventually, Kipo and the others make their escape. Finally. 

19. Back to Lio and Dave. We find out towards the end that Molly actually killed Dave 5 times for the stunt he pulled on her lol. Anyways, the both of them are glad to have this bonding session with one another since Kipo isn’t around. 

20. Our heroes reach land but Doag wants to go back because she knows her dad is worried sick about her. And so, Hyun Soo and I guess the rest of his groupmates are bringing her back there. Aww, she should’ve stayed but I understand why she wants to go back to the ship. But to be honest, somebody should’ve thought to give her a communicator or a walkie-talkie or something because at least they can know what Dr. Emilia’s next move is. Perhaps they don’t really have to think too much into it since the journals has been decimated and all…or is it?

21. Wolf, I hope you’re happy you dropped the journal lol. Dr. Emilia figures out that Kipo is X. Wait, I’m trying to remember if there any mention of X in the previous episodes. Anyways, I wonder what she’s going to do with the fur Kipo left during their last confrontation. I guess since Kipo is a human who also has the DNA of apex predators, Emilia is going to play with her recombinant DNA and figure out a way to reverse the effects of the mute DNA so that only the normal DNA will be present? I dunno….

22. Last note/tiny bit of criticism: Is it just me or do you guys sometimes think that some of the character designs look a little wonky in this episode? Sometimes, I felt like Kipo, Benson and even Troy look a little off in some frames. Anyways, that’s the end of my review of episode 2. Stay tuned tomorrow for my review of episode 3. Thanks for reading everybody!