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elwynten · 2 years

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This is how everything in my life changed. I'm reminding you of how it all started because I'm going to be visiting new universes and I thought I would remind you of how everything started.

I've pretty much changed everything in the RWBY and Dragonriders of Pern universes, so I'm going to start visiting the Monster Musume and DanMachi or Is it Wrong to Try to Pick up Girls in a Dungeon, universes.

I will be going back to the RWBY and Pern Universes from time to time. I still have a few more things to do. But with more time on my hands, I'm going to visit different Universes.

Prologue/Authers Notes:

This is what I would like to change ‘if’ I could go to Pern, from “The Dragonriders of Pern” series by Ann McCaffery, and The RWBY Universe, by Rooster Teeth. This is the daydreams of, 'if’, I was able to travel to different universes and had powers given to me by way of CYOA’s (Create Your Own Adventures). Nothing here is official or canon. It is all what happenes (or what could happen) IF you gain powers/abilities and can travel to fictional universes that you read about or watch, and want to see how it would be to live in these alternat universes and have a chance to make some changes in them. Hopefully for the better.

Many of the CYOA’s give you companions/waifus. So, there are many girls from the CYOA’s. This does NOT mean anything untoward is going on. So, get you mind out of the gutter.

Chapter 1

I had decided to take a drive in the country. It’s something we did when I was younger. We’d all pile into the car and Dad would drive us around in the country. It’s something I hadn’t done in a long time, so I decided to do it today. Something to do to get out of the house.

After driving for a while and looking at the countryside. The last thing I remember of the drive is a tire blowing and the car skidding and flipping. Then everything went black.

I had to be dreaming or hallucinating, because I heard a voice in the blackness. A voice I had never heard before. “Your wish, your dreams, your fantasies. Whatever you wish to call them are given you.” It didn’t make any since, because at the moment, my wishes or dreams were to not die.

There were flashes, images and bits in the blackness but I couldn’t remember what they were.

Waking up I found myself on the ground, laying in the grass on my back. Opening my eye I saw the sky, right before it was blocked from my view by a cute face. Typical reaction, I had died and gone to heaven, but that really didn’t seem right. Looking at the girl standing over me, I knew I should know who she was. But how or why I should know her, I didn’t know.

She grinned at me. “You can get up Eilwyn. Your okay.” (She pronounced it El-win.)

Slowly moving my arms and legs, and when nothing hurt, I sat up. Then I took a closer look at the girl. Even though I was sitting on the ground and she was standing up. It looked like she would be shorter than I am. Maybe 5 feet tall. The sun was hitting her hair and giving it highlights. Usually highlights are red or blond, but her highlights were red, blue, teal, peach, and purple, with a metallic sheen to them. Titanium came to mind.

Eilwyn! Why would she use that name for me. It isn’t my real name, and I’ve told only one person about the reason behind that name. I looked to where my car was. It’s not in the greatest of shape. Broken out windows, the roof buckled in on one side, and both tires on the side I could see were flat. Not sure if it would be totaled or the insurance company would repair it.

I had just been thrown about seventy-five feet from my car and nothing was broken, nothing hurt and no scrapes or cuts. I turned and looked at the girl again. The girl that looked so familiar, but I still can’t figure out where I’d seen her before. “H-how do you know I’m okay? And how do you know who I am?”

She giggled. “I’m, 'Your Own Familiar’ your Companion.”

'My own Familiar, my Companion? I have a Familiar?’ I thought to myself. 'How could that be possible. That was a CYOA I had created, 'Your Own Familiar’.’

*Yes, you have a Familiar and I’m her.* She cocked her head to the side. I heard her in my head. *I can hear what you're saying in your head, and you can hear what I’m saying in my head. You know, telepathy.* She sent to me, grinning.

'My Familiar/Companion, and I can talk to her, telepathicly. I started running ideas though my head. It couldn’t be… could it?’ I thought.

*Well, I’m here.* She sent to me.

“Or I’m dreaming, or hallucinating.” I replied.

My car is probably totaled so I figured I’d try a test. Still sitting on the ground I reach my hand out towards my wrecked car. Holding my hand out in front of me, thinking of my car, I close my hand into a fist. As I did, the car twisted and crushed in the sides. Making it totally undrivable and a total wreck.

I remember what the voice in the darkness said. 'Your wish, your dreams, your fantasies. Whatever you wish to call them are given you.’ I looked back at the girl and a name comes to me. “Taima? Your Taima?”

“That’s me, and it looks like your dreams have come true.” Taima said sitting down beside me.

I had to remember the dreams, or wishes I’d had. “Could this be about the folder on my computer titled CYOA’s?” I asked out loud to myself.

Taima giggled. “It looks like it. I seem to know that I have only been here for a couple minutes, but I have memories farther back than that, OOHHH! I hear sirens!” She said and put her hands over her ears.

I could hear the sirens also.

“If this is all true and I’m not insane, dreaming or hallucinating. You can change into a wolf, right? Change into a Timber Wolf. I don’t think we need them seeing you right now. Well see you in human form, anyways.” I looked at Taima beside me. “It’s going to be difficult enough explaining all this without another person to explain about.”

The next moment Taima was no longer the cute youngish looking girl, but now a Timber Wolf.

I motioned to Taima and told her. “Go on over there on the rise. It’s going to be difficult enough convincing the cops that I’m not hurt without having to explain how you were in the wreck and didn’t get hurt as well.”

Taima trotted up the rise and looked back at me. “Can you make it over the fence?” I asked her.

She looked at the fence, then I hear in my head. *No problem.*

As I watched, Taima “Blinked” to the other side of the fence. Blink is a short distance teleportation, no more than 100 feet in distance and in line of sight.

“That answers that question.” I said.

She cocked her head to the side. *What question is that?*

“How we are going to get home. At least I hope we can teleport home.” I could see a cop car just down the road with it’s lights on. I’m guessing it’s a Sheriff’s car, since we are in the country.

I didn’t want to, but in this instance I had to. I tried out my new mind control abilities to make the sheriff’s deputy believe I wasn’t hurt, which I wasn’t, in the accident. It is the truth, but how do you convince someone that when the car you wrecked in, is totaled and you walk away unharmed.

The Shariff called for a tow truck. While we were waiting for the tow truck to arrive, the sheriff took some pictures of my car. I asked him to send copies to me so I could use them for my insurance.

After my car was on the back of the wrecker and headed off and the Sheriff was on his way. “I need to get home, now.” I told Taima.

*We’, need to get home.* I heard in my head along with a giggle.

“Sorry, this is going to take a little while to get used to.” I looked over at Taima. “We need to get home.” I looked around. “I don’t think flying would be a good idea. I think I need to practice some place no one will see me. Besides flying would draw too much attention.”

The wolf Taima 'Blinked’ to my side. I looked down at her and scratch her head between her ears. “Let’s give Teleporting a try, shall we?” I pictured my back yard. No need popping into the front yard where anyone could see. I imagine myself being there. I look down at Taima. “That is how you do it, correct? Picture where you want to go, concentrate on that location and 'will’ yourself there?” I asked her.

Taima looked back at me and just nodded her head, yes. Which is funny seeing a wolf nod it’s head like a human.

The next moment I or rather we, were in my back yard. It took a moment for me to re-orient myself.

“Wow! That was interesting.” I looked around, to make sure no one saw us 'port’ into the back yard. We started walking to the front of the house. “This is… 'our’ house.” I said to Taima.

Taima trotted beside me. *One of them.* She sent, and I heard giggling in my head again.

I stopped walking and looked down at Taima. “Yah. If this has something to do with my 'dreams’ then there should be at least one more house. If it’s what I think it is, I want to wait a little while before I - we,” I nodded towards Taima. “go looking for it.” I started walking again. I reached into my front pocket and pulled my keys out, to unlock the front door.

Looking over to the garage. “I guess I’ll need to get another car. I’ll wait and see what happens. I think I’m going to be busy for a while figuring all this out. But then, with all the abilities I’m supposed to have now, I don’t really need a car. If I’m not dreaming or hallucinating, that is.” Unlocking the front door, I held it open for Taima to enter first. After I’d entered the house, I shut the door. “Human form please.”

Yes master. Taima giggled. “I am your Familiar after all.” She was back in the human form, she had been in after the wreck.

I staired at Taima for a couple seconds. “I prefer companion or friend. "I know we are connected, and you pretty much have to do what I tell you. But I prefer you to be more of a companion. I’ll try to let you make a lot of your own decisions. With us being connected or linked telepathically, I’m guessing you’ll know what I want as soon as I know.” I shrugged my shoulders. Being connected that way I wouldn’t know if what she did was her own idea or what I was thinking or wanting. I’d just have to let things run their course and live with whatever happens. Although I did know that if I didn’t treat her well, she could leave. That is, if any Familiar wasn’t treated well by their 'master’ the Familiar can leave.

I went online and checked my bank account to see how much money was in it, because one of my “dreams or CYOA’s” gave me some money. Well, quite a bit of money. And yes, there was quite a bit more money in my account than should be. Well quite a bit is another understatement of how much more money was in my account. There was enough for me to live off of for the rest of my life. As long as I didn’t go crazy with it. No, I lie. If I’m correct, I have immortality, so the money would not really last very long, in that since. “I should go in and put most of the money into a savings account, or invest it.” I said talking more to myself than to Taima.

There should have been more money in my account. But thinking of what I had wanted. The money could be divided between three accounts or three places, but that would have to wait before I could check it out.

Sitting on the couch, I leaned back, rubbed my eyes and face with my hands. “OH, this is a lot to get used to.” I looked at Taima, who was smiling at me. Then it hit me. I didn’t have my glasses on. Yet, I could clearly see her. Well, I can see better than I could 'with’ my glasses. I heaved a big sigh. If this 'is’ about my 'dreams’ then I don’t need glasses anymore. I went into the bathroom. I wanted to see what I looked like. My reflection was close to the same as before the accident. But my gray hair was gone. I was the same height as before, but some of my facial features were a little different. All my old aches and pains were gone as well, and my hair was thicker and fuller. It was dark brown but there were blue highlights. BLUE highlights! And my eyes are now a bright teal color. Where did those colors come from! Thinking about it, I did know where the colors might have come from. But it’s still a shock seeing myself with these changes. And the real surprise was I had a full set of teeth. I’d had them removed because of how bad they had gotten. But it didn’t matter any more. My skin tone was a little darker. It’s a little darker than a light tan. It looked like some of my ethnic heritage was more prominent than they used to be.

I looked about the same, so anyone that knew me would probably recognize me. But I looked different enough that I could pass as my own brother or cousin.

Taima came into the bathroom, and saw the shocked look on my face. “Isn’t this what you wanted. What you dreamed about?” She asks.

“I guess so. But dreaming of being able to do things like this and REALLY being able to do them, are two different things. Along with the changes in my looks. AND this is NOTHING I thought would really happen to me. I guess it’s like living from paycheck to paycheck and suddenly winning the Power Ball. I want to believe it, but is it real, or a dream. If it’s real I don’t want to go running around using my abilities all over the place. That would make me a target for all sorts of people… And I’m not sure what to do next. I should probably take a few days to get used to what’s happening, get used to what I can do, and get used to my new looks.” I looked at Taima. “And get used to having someone else around all the time.” I headed to the kitchen. *I’m getting something to drink. Do you want anything?* I said in my head, seeing if Taima would hear it.

*I’m not Thirsty.* Taima sent back. She had followed me as far as the doorway into the kitchen.

“I’m not… thirsty… either.” I stopped and looked at the refrigerator. “I’m not thirsty.” I walked back and looked at Taima. “I’m not thirsty.” I said again, sounding like a broken record. “That’s because of you right? Sustenance?”

Taima giggled. “Or Endurance. Could be either one or both.”

With Sustenance I don’t have to eat, drink, breath or sleep. But I can do all of those things if I want to. Endurance lets me work or run all day without needing to rest, and I don’t need to eat.

“I’m not thirsty.” I said again. “BUT, I’m still getting something to drink. Do you want anything?”

“I’ll take the same as you, sweet tea.” She replied.

I went back into the kitchen and poured two glasses of tea. I took them back into the living room, and hand one to Taima. Then I sat down beside her. I stood back up and fished in my pants pocket. Pulling out my keys, I saw two new keys on my key ring. Holding them up so we both could see them. “For the other house?” It was a statement as well as a question.

Taima looked the keys over. “I believe so. Should we go and take a look?”

I put the keys back in my pocket, and sat back down. “Not yet. I don’t think I’m ready for Thread and fire breathing dragons, quit yet.” At least I believe that is where the new house will be. I took a drink of my tea. “I still want to get used to everything before I go traveling to other universes.” I took another drink of tea. “I wonder…”

“Where your weapon is?” Taima finished my sentence. I gave her a dirty look, and she giggled. “Sorry, I know I don’t have to finish your sentences for you, just because I know what your thinking. Right?”

“Right. But yes, I wonder where my weapon is. Is it, in the Armory or in the little storage pocket dimension?” I finished.

Taima looked thoughtful for a moment. I heard her thoughts, but I ignored them. I didn’t want to always be listening into what she was thinking. “Well since you don’t have it yet, they could be in either the Armory or the storage space (Meaning the small personal pocket dimension about the size of a large closet).”

I cut in. “But since I can summon it to me at any time. I could probably summon it to me now. Right?”

Taima nodded her head, yes. “Any time you want too, if I understand how it works correctly.”

“What to do, what to do.” I said more to myself than to Taima. “I can’t really do much in the light of day.” I thought for a couple minutes. “I’ve been wanting a fence around the backyard. I could practice my Earth Control by putting up a stone or earthen fence-wall around the back yard…” I started, but before I could finish my thoughts, there was a knock at the front door.

I looked at Taima. “I’m not expecting anyone.” Getting up, I go and opened the front door. Standing on the front porch was a girl. Any female younger than myself or under the age of 55, the age I was, I call a girl. And this one looked to be around my age. Or at least my 'new’ age of 20. Like Taima, she looked familiar. “Hello.” I said.

The girl looked at me for a moment. “I was told you were looking for roommates and to come to this address. I am called Robbie.” She gave a weak smile. “I was told my name was a joke, but I don’t understand it.” Robbie is about my height, maybe a tad shorter. Her hair is a Silver/grey color. If that’s really a hair color. Her hair is short, a bob cut is what I believe they call it. And blue eyes.

That is where you remember her. Taia said in my head.

“Ya… uh… ya. I remember something about roommates.” It wasn’t the truth, but then it wasn’t exactly a lie either. It was part of one of the CYOA’s. “Well this isn’t the place you’ll be staying. I’ll have to…” A car was pulled into the driveway. I watched it pull in. “Another one?”

Robbie turned to look at the car. “Another one?” She asked, confused by what I had said.

“Ya, I believe it might be another 'roommate’. I don’t know of anyone else that would be showing up right now.” I told Robbie.

The car came to a stop, and the driver’s door opened and out stepped another girl. A name came to me, as I heard Amber, in my head. I looked at Taima and nodded my head, in agreement, as the girl walked up to the porch. “Amber? Your Amber, right?” I asked.

“Hi, big brother. Long time no see.” Amber said and laughed, as she stepped onto the porch. She reached her arms out and took me in her arms and gave me a hug.

“That’s something else I’m going to have to get used to, a sister.” I said returning the hug. I released her and stepped back.

Watching Amber, I saw that she is about my height maybe a bit taller than myself. Reddish-brown hair, that reached her shoulders and I could see she had green eyes.

A little sister that is taller than I am. She’ll probably rub it in. But then I do have an advantage I can use if I need to, or want to.

I don’t really know how all this works with Amber being my sister. That was part of the CYOA, where she was my long-lost sister. My/our parents had adopted her out when she was a baby. But that was all part of the CYOA not real life. Yet here she is, my long-lost sister. We might be coming close to a paradox.

Turning slightly so I could see Robbie. “This is Robbie, another roommate. Robbie this is my long lost sister Amber.” Then I motioned for Taima to come out onto the porch. “And this is Taima.” I invite them into the house. We all found seats and get settled. “There should be two more. Well… several more but I’m hoping the rest will be at Tel Aviv Hold.”

“The house is in Israel?” Asked Robbie.

I chuckled. “No, It’s not in Israel. I just call it Tel Aviv Hold. And a Hold is from the Dragon Riders of Pern books.” I explained. And there was another knock on the door. “I’m guessing that’s Mercedes, if it’s another roommate, because Yuki can’t knock. At least not yet.” I said. Standing up, I went to the door and opened it. Standing there, is yet another girl. “You would be Mercedes?” I asked. She nodded her head, yes. I invite her in. “You’ll love the lab. You can’t blow it up. But I do have a few things for you to build once we’re at the new house and settled in. And not questioning your skills, but if your not sure how to build what I want. There will be books for you to read through to give you all the information you’ll need.”

Mercedes nodded her head, with a bit of a surprised look on her face. “I guess I can do that for you. What do you want me to build?”

“Sorry didn’t mean to over load you like that. I’ll tell you later when there’s more time.” I offered her a seat then introduce her all around. “I’ll explane everything once Yuki arrives. No need to repeate myself several times.” I said.

Mercedes looked like the typical tomboy. She is several inches taller than me, with light brown hair cut short and a little spikey on top, with hazel eyes.

Amber piped up. “Who is Yuki? Another roommate?”

I grinned. “Yes, she’s the last roommate of this group. But she’s a bit, shall I say, different. She’s a ghost.” I held up my hands to keep everyone quiet. “But if she has a place to live and to call home. She will get her physical body back. So then, I’m guessing, she will be alive again. It’s a bit strange, but not really any stranger than everything else that’s going on right now.”

Amber grinned. “We have our own ghost? It’ll be like one of the Hogwarts school houses, with Yuki as our house ghost.”

Everyone laughed. “That is probably closer to how it will be than you know…” I started.

As if on queue, the head of a woman popped through the door. “I’m Yuki and I was told you were taking in roommates. Am I at the correct place?” She asked.

Yuki’s taller than me by a few inches. She has long black hair, that reaches the middle of her back, and brown eyes. Her skin is pail, but then she 'is’ a ghost.

Almost at once. “Yes, it is.” “Looks like it.” “You're the last one.” “It appears so.” Everyone broke into laughter.

After getting the laughing under control, I said. “Yes, your at the right place Yuki. Well it’s the place everyone is meeting at. The new house is in another place. And I guess it’s about time I take you there.” I introduce everyone to Yuki. Then I motion everyone to follow me to the back yard.

You wanted to practice. Taima said telepathically.

Ya, but I didn’t expect to be inundated with roommates, either. I replied. I had planned on waiting a couple days. But it looks like my mind has been changed. I kind of chuckled.

I lead everyone out to the back yard. Then turning to the group. “About every ability I have is new to me right now. So taking everyone to the new house is also new. I’ll set up a portal to the house and send Taima through first. She’ll let me know if it’s in the correct place. Then we’ll all go through.”

Taima gave me a dirty look. “That’s right, use me as a guinea pig.” She said out loud so everyone could hear, then she grinned and giggled.

The others looked at each other as if they weren’t sure about any of this.

“Okay, let’s give this a try.” I close my eyes and concentrated on the universe the new house should be in, and the time I want it to be there. Then think of a doorway between this universe and that one. Opening my eyes there is, what looks like, a hole in the air in front of me. The edges of the hole shimmer as if the light is bouncing off of different surfaces. In the middle of the hole is a building, a house, that looks like it has a graveyard in front of it. There are also some trees and bushes that don’t look like anything I’ve ever seen before. “Your up.” I told Taima. “And keep an eye out.”

Taima took a step towards the opening then turned back to me. “I know what to look for.” And she tapped her head by her temple with a finger. Turning back to the portal, she walked through. We could see her looking around, then she headed to the grave yard and out of sight.

Waiting to see if everything was good, I turn to my new roommates. “It looks like the right place. It should only be a minute or two before we know.”

“Where is this place?” Yuki asked.

“It’s a place called Pern. It’s kind of backwards. The people are in about the late middle ages. There’s even dragons, but they aren’t anything to worry about. They work with humans, they don’t hunt or fight humans.” I told them.

“If it’s that backwards. What am I going to do there? I’m a mechanic and they didn’t have much for mechanics to do back then.” Mercedes asked me.

“They are backwards right now. But in about a year, their time, they will be learning a LOT of new things. Right now they are working on something like a telegraph. And in a year, or what they call turns, they will find a computer that will teach them HUGE amounts of modern technology. Or at least more modern technology than they have now.” I explained.

Robbie looked confused. “How do you know all that will happen? Can you see the future, or are you guessing?”

I chuckled. “I can open a portal to any real or fictional universe.” I motioned to the portal. “And this portal goes to the universe of Pern. Where they ride dragons and live in a middle ages type of world. I’ve read the books so I know what is going to happen. At least to a point. I’m not sure if once I get there if I can change the story line, or if it runs according to how it is in the books no matter what I do there. But I’m hoping I can change the story line. There’s not a lot I would want to change on Pern but there are a few thing I want to change.” I said.

“And I plan on going to the RWB*Y, pronounced Ruby, universe later on. And there I plan on changing the story line quite a bit, if I’m able to. I’m guessing that any changes I make will only happen in that Universe and not in the books or DVDs.” I finish.

“So, you want to go to places you’ve read about and change what happens in the story?” Amber asked me.

I grinned. “More or less, yes. RWBY is an animi show not a book, but that doesn’t really matter.” I told her.

“How can you do that?” Amber added.

I shrugged my shoulders. “I’m not really sure how I can do it. All I know is I’ve been given some abilities and one of them is traveling to different universes, both real and fictional. And once I’m there they become real.” I said.

After waiting a short time. It looks good. Bring them through. Taima sent to me. I nodded my head. Then to my new roommates. “It’s all good to go.” At the look on a couple faces, I know they were a little concerned or worried about what they were walking into. “Don’t worry, it’s safe. I’m new at this, so I just wanted to make sure I opened the portal to the correct location. And Taima just informed me it’s good.” Taima walked to where we could see her on the other side of the portal and waved at us.

Making a sweeping motion with my hand to the portal. “Ladies, after you.”

Looking around at each other, Robbie moved first, and walked through the portal. There was a slight shimmer, then you could see Eve standing beside Taima. Mercedes followed after Robbie, then Amber and last, Yuki. Once I walked through the portal I turned around and close it so no one else could come through. Don’t want anyone just walking through the portal.

#CYOA #Pern #Dragonriders #Dragon Riders #DanMachi #Girls #Dungeon #Bell #Monsters #Monster Girls #Monstergirls #Monster Musume #Lamia #Miia #Centaure #Cerea #Japan #Orario

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pleasantville-publications · 3 years

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kmsherrard · 4 years

Text

In praise of roller coaster rides

“...the thousand concurring accidents of such an audacious enterprise….”

-Herman Melville, Moby Dick

Despite what teachers of high school science classes solemnly intone, this business of doing science is the least straightforward endeavor that can possibly be imagined. This was brought home to me in a series of unfortunate events that unfolded this week.

At first, it seemed to be that rare triumph where my simple test of a straightforward prediction actually yielded a clear positive result, instead of the more typical back-to-the-drawing board head-scratcher. If this were a story, that the protagonist was a protein named Diaphanous could serve as a hint that the plot would not prove as solid as one might hope. (Like many genes first discovered in fruit flies, Diaphanous evokes the appearance of animals lacking a functional version of that protein).

The backstory: Lately, my research has been on how stress fibers remodel to accommodate the movements of migrating cells. But as I work on cells in intact tissues, namely the rind of follicular cells that envelops the developing cluster of cells that give rise to a fruit fly egg, I like to consider the natural experiments that unfold in the course of normal development. For example, these follicle cells migrate for a time, going round and round like hamsters running on a wheel, but then they stop and do other things, like flatten out and secrete the eggshell. They still have stress fibers—these are long contractile bundles of a similar composition to muscle, that help attach the cells to the fibrous surface outside them. But these later-stage stress fibers are much stouter and of somewhat different composition.

I had already established that the stress fibers in the migrating cells depend on an unusual partner, amusingly called DAAM, to form. The more typical protein to help build stress fibers is DAAM’s cousin Diaphanous, but I’d done experiments depleting Diaphanous that clearly showed it was not needed in this case. When I depleted DAAM, though, the stress fibers got really wispy. Oddly enough, I’d noticed that in the much later stages, after the cells stopped migrating, had stress fibers unaffected by loss of DAAM.

So the experiment I wanted to do next was to deplete Diaphanous in the later stages. This was not completely straightforward to execute, though, because I had to avoid depleting it too early. I’d already seen that this caused cells to have trouble with their normal round of cell divisions. It’s a common problem in this sort of work that it can be harder to study later processes if you mess things up before they have begun to happen. The solution makes use of the dazzling array of tissue-specific drivers of gene expression that have been invented for fruit flies. They allow you to drive expression of a gene at specific times and places, targeting particular processes you want to study. To keep a gene from being expressed, you can use something called RNAi, which basically makes a cell chop up the instructions for making a protein sent from the DNA so that protein does not get produced.

In short, I needed a driver that acted late in the follicle cells but not early. Our lab did not have such a driver, since we study the earlier stages. But we’d read a paper with some very clever experiments that made use of just such a late driver, one called Cy2. We requested the fly stock from one of the paper’s authors and she promptly mailed it off to us. Fly researchers are awesomely generous. It’s a tradition that goes back to the earliest days of the field over a century ago to share reagents this way.

Chapter the First: Quarantine. The flies arrived and had to be put in quarantine, out of an abundance of caution concerning the possible introduction of mites into our hundreds of lab stocks. In practice, this consists of isolating the vials on the top of the lab refrigerator. All stocks that arrive from elsewhere must be taken through quarantine, save those from the renowned and very reliably mite-free Bloomington stock center. It meant a delay to the start of my planned experiment, until I could obtain 3rd instar larvae and wash them, a rather amusing exercise on which I have previously posted.

So there the flies sat, two healthy vials with clearly written labels: Cy2/(Cyo); Dr/TM6b. This cryptic shorthand conveyed that along with the driver I’d asked for, the flies conveniently included markers on another chromosome, in case I wanted to build more things into the stock. Annoyingly, they were all senescent adults and developing pupal cases—ideal for surviving the mailing process, but the worst possible stage of colony development for obtaining sufficient larvae for my purposes. I would have to wait several weeks for the new generation to produce larvae I could wash.

In pre-covid times, I could have done the cross right away with existing males, dissecting the offspring on a quarantine-use microscope belonging to a neighboring lab. Normally we share a lot of equipment freely in our department. But the physical distancing requirements have temporarily stopped that sort of thing. And we can’t risk getting mites onto the equipment we use for all our normal work.

To shorten the waiting time (a frequent concern of fruit fly researchers, especially I would think those of us who work on adult rather than embryonic or larval structures, meaning our crosses must extend to the full 10+ days of development time beyond any stock-building that precedes it), I planned to wash enough larvae to siphon off a number of males for the experimental cross. To that end, I also began “blowing up” the stocks I would obtain the females from; I could virgin them ahead of time and have them all ready to go as soon as their husbands emerged from their pupal cases.

When you’re waiting to wash a quarantine stock, impatient for the experiment to begin, they seem to take longer to develop, much like a watched pot. The stock contained the mutation Tubby, which makes for shorter flies but a longer developmental time, so that was part of it. Also room temperature (on top of the fridge) slows development compared to the flies’ optimal temperature of 25 C (that’s 77 to your Fahrenheiters...and to be honest, most of us American scientists are very compartmentalized in their understanding of Celsius; outside of the lab context we speak it no better than the average U.S. citizen). So far, then, the slowness makes sense both physical and psychological. But why the quarantined flies should always produce their burst of 3rd instar larvae on a weekend day, and on the one weekend day I don’t pop into the lab, is more puzzling. But it is the rule, I have found.

I wasn’t going to let it happen this time. I watched them like a hawk (a mosquito hawk?) and sure enough, it was a Sunday when all the larvae began to wander. Wandering larvae is the other, more romantic name for the 3rd instar of Drosophila melanogaster, because they have at last eaten their fill of the mushy rotten fruit they have been burrowing through, and there is nothing else for them to do but come out into the light and air and begin to claim their inheritance as winged creatures of the sky. First, though, they must choose a spot in which to prepare their new bodies. Here in that lab, they climb around on the clean walls of the vial, above the caramel-colored dollop of food, fat, juicy larvae as big as a good-sized grain of rice, big enough to grasp gently in forceps and take through the three ritual baths, soapy water, ethanol, and salty water, that remove any lurking mites or mite eggs from their surfaces. After being placed in a fresh vial and wicked dry with a twist of Kimwipe (lab Kleenex), they will crawl around a bit more, mingling with their certified-mite-free compatriots. In a few more hours they will settle down, stop moving, and let their skins harden into bark. Inside that bark, they pretty much dissolve themselves, save for a few set-aside clusters of cells. They go on to rebuild their bodies into the adult form, complete with intricate jointed legs and multitudinously-faceted eyes and iridescent, cellophane-like wings over the course of about a week (at room temperature).

I spent several hours washing more larvae than usual to establish a clean stock, wanting to have plenty of extra males to father the experimental crosses. If I’d had access to the quarantine microscope, I could have selected extra male larvae—you can already distinguish males and females at this stage-- but it would not really have saved time. I played the numbers game instead. It was a Sunday afternoon, quietest time of the week in lab, and very peaceful. I took my time and changed the bath solutions often to make sure there wasn’t too much soapy water in the ethanol or too much ethanol in the final rinse. I wanted this all to go smoothly with no delays.

I put the now-lawful vial in the 25C incubator to develop, after carefully copying the genotype from the original handwritten labels: Cy2/(Cyo); Dr/TM6b. Incidentally, there are lots of markers of chromosomes, many going back to the original mutations described by early fly workers such as Calvin Bridges and Alfred Sturtevant. They let you follow with visible traits the invisible genes that you wish to follow through the generations. Various labs have their favorite markers, but some such as Cyo (which makes for curly wings) are ubiquitous, and Dr and TM6b were familiar to me as well. Dr (short for Dropped, I don’t know why) makes the eyes very slitted, and TM6b is a whole set of markers that comprises what is called a balancer chromosome: a chromosome that has been scrambled and rearranged so that even though it still has all its genes, they are in the wrong places. This means that none of the usual recombination between sister chromosomes that occurs when egg and sperm form can happen. The advantage to the researcher is that this keeps genes segregated in predictable places. Otherwise, all those markers would not be reliable indicators letting you keep track of the genes you put in place from one generation to another. TM6b can actually include various different markers, but one of them is Tb, easy to recognize in both the shorter larvae and pupal cases and to some extent discernible in adults as well.

Chapter the Second: Cross Purposes. Fast forward two weeks (you can—I sadly could not—this being November of 2020, I would certainly have appreciated the distraction). So I waited, none too patiently, for the new adults to emerge. Meanwhile, I tended the stocks I would virgin for females: two different RNAi lines for Diaphanous and one, a control, for its cousin DAAM which I already knew was not required for the later-stage stress fibers. I built up a collection of ladies in waiting, captured shortly after their eclosion and isolated in vials away from all male contact, so I could be sure their offspring would be the genotype I wanted. [A note about the term ‘eclosion’: one might be tempted to call the emergence of the adults from their pupal cases ‘hatching’, but that term is reserved for the larvae coming out their eggshell. You only hatch once, even in the doubled lifestyle of these metamorphosing beasties.]

Finally the washed flies began to eclose. All my usable Cy2 flies were in that one vial. I briefly knocked them out with carbon dioxide gas, used a fine paintbrush to separate the males, and added 3 males each to the three bevvies of expectant females. There were still a few males left, enough to establish the new stock of Cy2 for future use.

At last, more than a month after conceiving it, I’d begun the experimental cross. It would be two more weeks before I had the flies to dissect and the beginnings of an answer. Fly work involves a lot of waiting, and to cope with that we tend to have a lot of irons in the fire. All that juggling can be rather distracting. Sometimes, depending on how other experiments have gone in the interim, I’ve unfortunately moved on from the original urgency of a question by the time the flies are ready to examine. It’s a hazard of the work.

Though I did not yet realize it, I’d made two mistakes. First, I should have looked a bit more carefully at those Cy flies. Second, I should have done the proper control. Sure, crossing them to the DAAM flies was a pretty good control, but there was an even stricter one, that tested whether the driver stock alone had any effect (it should not, but you like to be sure). I should have crossed the Cy2 flies to what we call wild-type, a stock called w1118 that has white eyes, incidentally [link] the first fly mutant ever identified and the foundation of fly genetics.

I hadn’t wanted to use up any more of my precious males, and figured I could always do that control later, if the experiment turned out promising. A lot of us cut corners that way, and it isn’t necessarily less efficient. But sometimes it snarls you up and wastes your time instead of saving it, and makes you go through all sorts of contortions trying to make sense of your data with less information than you should have had.

Chapter the Third: The Experiment. I waited out that two weeks, pursuing other work and trying not to pay too much attention to the news. I wore my mask and stayed in touch with my loved ones over zoom and the like. I hung up bird feeders to entertain my cats and my family alike. I went on long walks by the lake. Time passed. At last the grand day arrived: my experimental flies had begun to eclose. I gassed them and tapped them out of the CO2 pad. Now here was a wrinkle I’d shoved to the back of my mind: those extra markers that I didn’t need, the Dr and TM6b. In a clean experiment I’d have gotten rid of them, but that would have required another couple generations. I’d wanted a quick provisional answer, in order to decide whether it was worth the time and trouble to do the more careful version of the experiment. So: would I dissect the TM6b-carrying flies, or the Dr-carrying flies? It had to be one or the other. The balancer chromosome carries a number of mutations so it would be more likely to do something weird to the cells I was interested in. Not that that was very likely, but I might as well be careful. Dr it was then: that only affected the eyes, as far as I knew. What were the chances it would mess up my experiment on stress fibers in follicle cells?

But none of the flies had Dr eyes. That was odd. I looked closer. Half of them sure looked like Tb flies, shorter and a bit chubbier, though you never want to depend on your ability to discern that marker in adults. The others, the longer ones? They did have some oddly short hairs on their dorsal thorax (around the back of the lower neck, if you want to be anthropomorphic about it), much shorter than the clipped ones you see with the marker Stubble. It kind of reminded me of a marker I’d seen once or twice. Well, that must be what these were; maybe the label had been written wrong.

Impatient to get the experiment done, I swept the short-haired flies into a fresh vial with a bit of yeast. The yeast was to encourage egg production (they’re called fruit flies or vinegar flies, but it’s really the yeast on the rotting fruit that they’re after). I added a few males which were there for the same end. You could say the way to a fine set of ovaries is through both the heart and the stomach. Two more days to go before the dissection. For good measure I put some plain-vanilla w1118 flies on yeast to serve as extra controls.

On the appointed day, I got out my fiercely pointed #55 forceps and began the dissection. I nearly messed up by dissecting the early stages by habit—the technique to do so destroys most of the older egg chambers—but luckily remembered what I was about it time, and switched to the method to optimize acquisition of undamaged later stages. I fixed for 15 minutes in 4% paraformaldehyde, rinsed three times in phosphate-buffered saline solution with Triton-X detergent, and added a stain that would label the filamentous actin, the principle component of stress fibers among many other cellular structures. I put it in the lab fridge (the one where no food is allowed!) to stain overnight. The next morning, early, I came in and rinsed off the stain and made slides. Then I went to the womb-like room where one of my favorite workhouse microscope lives, the renowned Nikon 800 laser scanning confocal microscope. I did the necessary 2020 ritual wipe-down of all surfaces with 70% ethanol, and fired her up.

And oh, it was beautiful. I was so disciplined; I began with the controls to set up the correct laser intensity and gain at which to collect all the images, so the brighter ones would not be out of the range of measurable brightness and everything could be properly quantified. But it was already clear from the what I saw on the computer screen as I centered examples, focused, and took images that the experimental egg chambers had strongly reduced stress fibers. I took lots of pictures, happy that for once my experiment had gone as planned and given me a clear answer.

Also, can I just say how much I love the stain Oregon Green phalloidin? The name itself is lovely: as a native of the Pacific northwest I find it so evocative: the green of deep cushiony moss and ferns and forests of hemlock and douglas firs; and phalloidin itself is a stain derived from mushrooms with which those forests are rife. (Phalloidin, now there’s a scary toxin: it binds so tightly to filamentous actin that it stops your heart. Unlike a lot of other toxins, it doesn’t make you nauseated, so you absorb it until it’s too late for any antidote. But that’s why it’s such a good stain. You just have to wear gloves, or wash your hands after pipetting it. And we all wash our hands so often nowadays it makes no never mind.) There’s red phalloidin, and far-red phalloidin, and even ultraviolet phalloidin (but most microscopes don’t have the right filter sets to light it up very well): but green phalloidin is the king as far as I’m concerned. So bright, and a short enough wavelength (only 488 nanometers, vs. 566 or 647) that it shows up structures the more finely. You can definitely see the difference: it’s sharp as can be.

So, I had the preliminary results I had hoped for: the Diaphanous flies had reduced stress fibers. It doesn’t actually happen to me all that often, that I get a clear answer, either what I predicted or the opposite which is almost as good in science. At least that’s progress, an increase in understanding. No, usually I stumble over these head-scratchers of outcomes. Interesting results, but interesting in a complicated way that require a lot more work to make sense of, if you ever do. It’s partly down to most of my experiments involving imaging with a microscope: you get a lot of unexpected information that way, if you keep your eyes open. But it’s also that I seem to be attracted to the sort of problem that does not yield neat answers—the way some people are attracted to overly hairy guys on motorcycles who are a bit too into mild-altering substances and petty crime. I think I’m the one to straighten them out, but usually I’m the one who gets burned. But this time I had prevailed!

This was just a start; of course I needed to replicate, do some more dissections, get more numbers, reach levels of statistical unassailibility. In particular, I didn’t have as many clear examples of the DAAM control as I needed. Also, I’d do the proper control, and maybe even un-double-balance that Cy2 stock to get rid of the pesky extra markers.

Chapter the Fourth: The morning after. Yeah, and now I’d better take the time to figure out what is going on with that marker that is not Dr. Because, unlikely as it was, wouldn’t it be a shame if it were somehow affecting my results? Worst-case scenario—because that’s how we self-questioning scientists have to operate, ever since the dawn of time or at least the Enlightenment—worst-case scenario, then, is this marker, whatever it is, is the thing responsible for the reduction in stress fibers. Oh, but that’s very unlikely, I tell myself. Besides, the DAAM controls didn’t have reduced stress fibers.

I looked at the original handwritten label, still on the vial of flies on top of the fridge in quarantine. Maybe that D might actually be a P. What was Pr? I’d never heard of it.

I went to the master compendium of fruit fly genetics, FlyBase.org, and looked up Pr. Purple, an eye color gene on the first chromosome. I was looking for a gene on the third chromosome, so that couldn’t be it. I tried a different approach: I DuckDuckWent (DuckDuckGoed doesn’t sound right; if you haven’t heard of it, it’s a more private alternative to Google) images of Drosophila markers. There was that classic poster I’ve seen hanging in various labs, of the most common markers. And there was that marker I’d been reminded of, with the very short hairs. Sn it was called. Could that be my marker? It would have to be some pretty bad handwriting, to make an S look like a D; r to n is easier to imagine.

I went back to FlyBase and looked up Sn. It was the gene Singed. Like if you got to close to the outdoor fire pit on the patio (a way to safely hang out with your friends outdoors even during the Chicago winter), and singed your eyebrows most of the way off (and no, I haven’t done that yet). Also on the first chromosome, though. But look here, this is interesting: Singed is an actin-bundling protein. I read further down the page that summarized the work of dozens or hundreds of researchers over the decades. Yes, it was expressed in the ovaries, and yes, it was known to affect stress fibers. That would be worrying if it were my marker. Lucky it’s not.

I wasn’t getting anywhere. I tried yet another method, going to the webpage for the Bloomington stock center. It’s very well organized, and they have a page showing the details of all the balancer stocks they keep. There ought to be a clue here, for any marker that a researcher could assume another lab would recognize. I go down the list to the TM6b stocks, and find it. Pri, aka Pr, for Prickly. Causes short thoracic bristles. That’s my guy.

Back on FlyBase, I learn that Prickly is one of the classic mutants discovered in the early days of fly research. And this is weird: it has not been annotated. That is, nobody has figured out what gene it is a mutation of, let alone what biological processes it participates in or what tissues it’s expressed in (this matters because if it’s not active in the follicle cells, my experiment would still be valid). They could; it’s a straightforward enough task given that the whole genome is sequenced, but apparently it’s not one that anyone’s found worthwhile. So all we know is it makes very short, deformed bristles that look to me a lot like those of Sn.

Okay, now I am getting worried. What are the chances that this is NOT a protein that affects something like actin bundling and therefore messes up stress fibers? Maybe I had only seen what I wanted to see with the DAAM control. That’s a hazard of doing science, because it’s a hazard of being human. That’s why controls are so important. I consider my experiment in this new and harsher light. Maybe the Diaphanous results are just a phantom of wish fulfillment, summoned by this Prickly hitchhiker I’d never meant to take along for the ride.

I’d already begun the proper control that would answer this question, but meanwhile, while I wait for those flies to emerge, is there anything else I can do? Maybe I should dissect those formerly scorned Tubby flies; at least they lack Prickly. But according to the list at Bloomington, that particular stock has a number of other mutations on its TM6b chromosome, including one called Bri. Bri is a twin of Pri in more ways than one: it also causes very short bristles, and is also unannotated so we have no idea what protein it makes or when or where it acts in the body. Without asking the researchers who sent me the flies, I had no way of knowing if Bri was in there or not.

It would be a bit awkward quizzing them about their flies. We all tend to overdo the shorthand in labeling our stocks, and don’t always remember all the extra mutations lurking there. It’s tripped me up before, when I uncovered interacting mutations I hadn’t known to worry about until they unhinged my crosses. Don’t get me started on vermillian eye color: it’s a real bear. Either way, I’d have to check the controls and unbalance the stock to have a real answer, so probably better not to pester them.

I can’t resist having a quick peek at the TM6b flies though; I’ll be dissecting them tomorrow and should know by Sunday or Monday if the Diaphanous results are evaporating or not...that is, if Bri or something else is not further muddying the waters. A positive result would be definitive; a negative one will require further research. Well, either one will require further research, but one will be more cheerful and the other more like putting nails in a coffin of my hopes one more time. And that, my friends, is what it’s like to do science. (At least I get to see more Oregon green on the confocal, though).

Epilogue. What lessons can we draw from this (mis)adventure, this stomach-churning roller coaster ride of thrills and doubts that is my life in science?

1. Do the proper controls from the beginning. (Although that would have cut out the thrills as well as the doubts, so to be honest, I’m not totally on board with this one).

2. Take the time to look at the flies you are about to cross, and make sure they have the markers you expect. Harder, probably unrealistically hard, is to make sure they don’t have the markers you don’t expect. That would require a Rumsfeldian level of perceiving unknowns unknowns.

3. Remember the limitations of shorthand for conveying a genotype, which like the face we present to the world is invariably far more complex than there is room enough and time to write out.

4. Murphy’s law reigns supreme in this world of ours. What were the chances that the unwanted marker I’d thought I could ignore for a first-pass experiment would turn out to be a different marker I’d never heard of that might affect stress fibers in my cells? Still, it made for a good story, which I haven’t come across in all this interminable slog of an Autumn.

#drosophila #science #research #lab work

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cultureaddictconfessions · 5 years

Text

Don’t Get Caught - A Cubicles sequel - CYO Adventure + Marauders Workplace AU

re-read Cubicles here

After your enchanting evening at James’ after-work soiree, you're feeling nervous to interact with your office crush, with whom you shared a special moment. They’ve made it clear that there’s a spark, but navigating an office romance can be tricky if you don’t want your co-workers to know the situation. With that in mind, you must find sneaky ways to fan the flames of your delicious dalliance. Will you steal another moment with your sweetheart or be found out?

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As always, Y/N=first name, Y/L/N=last name. When you get to the end, click one of the titles to get your chosen ending! You can also be added to the tag list for this series (I’ll probably write more sequels, as this is a personal favorite of mine and I got ideas!) This is my present to my Tumblr fam, hope you have a wonderful holiday and see ya in 2020! <3 Bri

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The weekend was fairly uneventful. You spent Lazy Saturday with Lily, as always, before the pair of you joined the other office girls for drinks at a hip rooftop bar. Sunday was spent in a lull of running errands and dreading Monday and all that it might bring. You hadn’t mentioned anything to Lily about your party rendezvous for fear of her reaction. You didn’t know how many people bore witness to what happened, but if you could keep it under wraps, you would feel much better. It was tough enough dealing with Rita and the stresses of the workplace, let alone trying to integrate a blossoming crush on one of your co-workers who you would have to see almost every day. You groaned, curled up in your favorite lounge chair in the reading nook you set up in your apartment.

You had flirty conversations with more than one person on Friday when you thought about it. You just happened to have sparked feelings with one of them. You weren’t the type to kiss and tell, so what did you have to be worried about anyway? Still, you couldn’t help blushing fondly over the memory of that night. It was cliche to call it “magical”, but that was exactly what it felt like. You sank deeper into the chair and tried to focus on the book you were reading, before spending the rest of the evening failing to eat and agonizing over what you would wear the next day. Once settled, you spread on a face mask and turned on your favorite show on Witchflix to distract yourself. You crashed halfway through the episode.

You’d woken up in the middle of the night, tossing and turning anxiously. You got up a little earlier than usual and decided to go pick up coffee for you, Lily, and Rita in an effort to feel productive. The Potion Truck was your favorite little cafe and food truck near the office. You swept in, rattled off the orders without a second thought, then went to wait for them a few feet away. You spotted Emmeline Vance standing nearby, scrolling through her phone with a bored expression. Her shiny black hair was slicked back into a low ponytail, draping over her shoulder. She was clad in a classic trench coat, and her tortoiseshell sunglasses were perched on her head; always the picture of style. You strode over, managing a small smile as you tapped her on the shoulder. She looked up.

“Hi Y/N, fancy seeing you here! Can’t believe it’s Monday again already. What a weekend! Sorry I didn’t come out for drinks on Saturday; I had rehearsal that ran way too late and I went straight home to sleep.” She chuckled, pocketing her phone. Emmeline happened to be a talented hip-hop dancer. You had gone to one of her recitals, and you’d been debating attending one of her classes just to see how much fun she was having. You nodded in commiseration, wishing you were back in bed. The barista called Emmeline’s name, so you were left to yourself for a moment. You wondered guiltily whether she’d seen you at the office party.

“That sounds very busy indeed. You have to let me know when your next show is. Emm, I just realized… I don’t remember seeing you at the party on Friday!” You mumbled, fishing for information. She made a bemused expression. Uh oh.

“Well, I saw you making your rounds, Miss Popular! Did you have too much of the spiked punch? I guess we didn’t get to chat, so I can see why you might’ve thought I wasn’t there. I was rather preoccupied myself if you catch my drift.” She gave you a saucy wink, making the color drain out of your face. Maybe she had caught you and a certain someone getting hot and heavy. You didn’t have time to ask because the barista finally called your name. You scurried up to grab the drinks, and as soon as you returned, Emmeline motioned for you to follow her to the office. Your stomach was turning as the two of you walked, with Emmeline chatting amiably about the details of the party, not revealing anything helpful. You made a mental note to shoot her a text message later to find out real gossip.

You passed Alastor at the desk with a soft greeting before arriving at the elevator. Emmeline worked on the floor below you in operations. Not only was she a talented dancer, but she was a clever controller as well. Before the elevator could close, you were joined by the Prewett twins and Peter Pettigrew. Emmeline tensed up slightly beside you, only to the degree that you would notice. You gave her a curious look, but she gave you a sidelong glance and shook her head.

“Morning ladies! Looking lovely as ever!” The twins chimed together. You smiled, and Emmeline gave a curt nod.

“Hi Y/N, hi Emmeline! The brothers and I were just talking about that new baking show everyone’s been raving about! I watched 4 episodes on Sunday afternoon, not even going to lie.” Peter bubbled with laughter as he addressed the two of you. He looked so adorable when he talked about his passions.

“You should audition, Pete! I bet you could show them a thing or two…” Emmeline grinned, winking at him. He flushed at her compliment. You nodded in encouragement, but you couldn’t help but feel a little caught off guard by the easygoing banter Emmeline and Peter displayed. She was a total Cool Girl™, and he was the office dormouse. Since when had they become so friendly? You turned your attention to Gideon and Fabian. They certainly stood out from the crowd, tall and well-built, with shocks of red hair. As you recalled, they happened to be rather athletic and were part of a club outside of work which some of the other office members frequented… though obviously not as devoutly, based on the brothers’ chiseled physiques. You engaged them in light conversation before they and Emmeline stepped off on their floor, leaving you alone with Peter.

“You looked really lovely on Friday, Y/N. I don’t think I got to tell you that.” He smiled softly, hands twisting in front of him. You blushed your attention fully on him. Peter rarely voiced his opinions, much less made such a confident declaration. It was a nice change of character if you were honest.

“You’re a sweetheart for saying so, Pete, thank you. I had a lot of fun! I think I had a little too much to drink by the end if you’ll forgive me. Feels like a dream…” You sighed, a grin slipping across your lips as you laughed. He laughed along with you, looking at you with appreciation. He seemed as though he were about to say something when the elevator opened. Noticing Rita standing in her office on the phone and looking angry, you were forced to bid the young man goodbye. You didn’t notice him staring after you as you walked swiftly to the time clock.

Lily was already at her desk, so you placed the coffee in front of her with a pat on the head. She swiveled around in her chair and grinned brightly up at you.

“How did you have time to go and get me coffee, Y/N? Couldn’t sleep?”

“How are you so early today, Lils?” You countered, to which she stuck out her tongue. She picked up the drink and sipped thoughtfully, a grateful expression melting her. You were glad you could return your best friend’s favor since she was always the one who went for early-morning drink runs. Rita didn’t come out of her office, so you wrapped up her coffee, sat down and began going through your emails and voicemail. You were completely caught off guard when James Potter came over and leaned on the partition between yours and Lily’s cubicles, grinning like a Chesire cat.

“Evans, where were you on Friday?! We missed you at the party! Y/N was gracious enough to help me decorate, the whiz that she is. Very good company.” He queried Lily, smoothly winking in your direction. You felt your body warming up, but not from your coffee. Lily, however, was not amused and threw a scathing glare at James. You were surprised that he would come and bother her over the party, considering what had transpired. However, it was well known around the office that he had a soft spot for your best friend, despite her obvious distaste. You had to credit the guy, he was nothing if not persistent.

“Amscray, Potter, I don’t have time for your attempts at witty banter this morning. Rita has been on the warpath all morning and your decorator just arrived. Thankfully with coffee, of course.” Lily spat at him, softening her tone when she mentioned you, although you noted her resentment in referencing you helping James. You clammed up, as did James, though you exchanged a look of concern. Your friendliness toward her rival was quite a sore spot.

“Well, there’s always the next one! Maybe Y/N can convince you to attend…” He commented, trying to maintain his bright demeanor despite being shot down by the other woman. James gave you a meaningful look before he turned on his heel and stalked off toward the marketing department. Lily groaned in frustration but didn’t look up as he walked away. She hadn’t said anything about Rita when you got there, although you’d seen your boss glowering at the air in her office. Why did Lily feel the need to bring it up to James? Was she annoyed that you chose to go to the party? You’d spent Saturday with her, and she hadn’t said anything about it at all. Had his appearance brought up those unpleasant feelings that she hadn’t addressed with you over the weekend? You sighed, not wanting to push her buttons any more than James already had, electing to focus on your current project. Rita had emailed you some of the details so you could get started, although she expected you to sit down and talk with her further.

Rita came barging out to your desk about an hour and a half before lunch and ushered you into her office. She kept you in there for the whole time and a little more before dismissing you. You felt exhausted after that conversation and would have skipped lunch entirely to debrief, except Remus Lupin was standing beside your desk looking sheepish. You glided over to him and an easy smile crossed his face. You were surprised to see him there. Usually, it was Sirius…

“You look like you’ve been run through Rita’s gauntlet, Y/N… if there’s anything I can do to help, please never hesitate to ask,” his voice was soft but tender, and you couldn’t help but beam up at him. He really was one of the most thoughtful men in the office, if not in general.

“That, however, can wait. You are cordially invited to join us for lunch at Molly’s in 10 minutes. I’ve been sent to fetch you, with your acceptance, of course.” He smirked, recognizing the confusion that was evident on your face.

“Sirius get bored of being the errand boy?” you quirked an eyebrow at him, to which he shrugged, “I really shouldn’t… this project Rita assigned to me is going to be a nightmare. But… in that case, I probably should come with you, since I’ll be holed up forever after this point.” You sighed dramatically. Remus snickered.

“I think Miss Skeeter can afford to lose you for an hour, don’t you?” He held out his arm, ever the gentleman. You took it shyly, slinging your coat and bag over your shoulder as you did. You couldn’t help but feel lucky to have made such… charming connections at work. Your last office had been full of old codgers who were bitter about their own lives and couldn’t be bothered with friendliness.

You and Remus made your way around the block, chatting pleasantly about the weekend. He mentioned that he’d gone to a book signing on Saturday, though he wished he’d had a companion to bring along. You couldn’t tell if that was his attempt at flirting, or whether he was just being friendly. You blushed regardless.

“I did run into Dorcas, though, so that was lovely. She’s very sweet when she’s outside of Marlene’s company.” Remus was only half-joking, judging by the grimace that passed over his face. Marlene McKinnon was a well-known troublemaker around the office, much like James and Sirius. She was a loud, attractive blonde who was confident and very popular with your male co-workers. If one wanted to have fun, Marlene was the best person to go out with any day of the week. However, she was also very reactive and had a vindictive streak.

Hell hath no fury like Marlene scorned, and Remus had made it very clear one evening when she drunkenly made a pass at him that he was under no circumstances an interested party. She didn’t take too kindly to that, and promptly turned tail and stole Sirius away for the rest of the night. Remus considered her a bad influence and was not shy in expressing this to his friend.

“Say, Y/N… I wanted to talk to you about Friday…” He said his voice barely above a whisper. You were startled, your head jerking sideways to see him blushing. You couldn’t imagine what Remus might’ve been thinking about since the weekend, but luckily you didn’t have to, because you arrived at the cafe. He seemed to realize this as you reached for the handle, and couldn’t hide his frown.

“I… can talk about it with you after work if you’d like?” You murmured shyly, unable to look at him. You could see the tension fall out of his shoulders, relief evident on his face. He nodded, managing a small smile and reaching past you to open the door. Your hand brushed his as you pulled yours back. The two of you stepped in, blushing brightly.

“There you two are, bloody hell! Thought you’d gotten lost on the way!” Sirius was the first to pipe up as soon as you spotted the table where your friends were seated. He seemed delighted, but that tempered when he saw the close proximity between you and Remus. When you came to the high top, Sirius shot up and pulled out your chair in a smooth flourish. Your whole body alighted in a moment of emotional combustion before you managed to compose yourself, giving him a million-watt smile in thanks. He gently pushed you close to the table, fingers brushing your shoulders expertly. You sucked on your bottom lip nervously as he returned to his seat, conveniently located beside you. If the other guys noticed this exchange, they pretended not to care. The waitress came over after spotting new arrivals, and you and Remus placed your orders before she flitted off.

“The waitress is pretty fit, am I right? Pete, you should give her your number…” James half-whispered to the table, waggling his eyebrows at the other man. It was Peter’s turn to blush, and he mumbled something about how James should do it if he was so interested. Sirius snickered at this moment but also gave you a sidelong glance to check that you weren’t annoyed by the conversation. At this point, you were used to the guys talking about other potential love interests in front of you. You would only intervene when the discussion veered into inappropriate or disrespectful topics. So, you just snorted and rolled your eyes, to which he grinned back with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“You’re so predictable, Jamie. She’s alright, but I’ve seen prettier women in the office, Merlin’s sake… or have you given up on your favorites already?” Sirius smirked, his tone jabbing at his best friend. James scowled, pouting angrily.

“The girls in the office are too busy with work to agree to anything beyond friends-with-benefits, in my experience,” James’ comment was laced with a bit of resentment, “but maybe I’ve just got rotten luck… Hey, Y/N, why don’t you have a boyfriend? I am honestly shocked thinking about it now… I don’t think you’re lacking suitors from the gossip I hear.” He turned his full attention to you, his petulant tone dissolving into suggestive curiosity. You couldn’t help narrowing your eyes at him then, but you composed yourself quickly. Despite Lily’s similar intimation that you were a popular object of affection among your office mates, you still weren’t convinced that their intentions were fully-formed. Remus coughed, looking away from James in distaste. Peter frowned, but he seemed to wonder along with James. Sirius seemed to be the only one who felt the urge to retort.

“You’re a nosy little blighter aren’t you, Potter? I feel like we’ve agreed that kind of talk about Y/N is off-limits. Her business is her own. She’s our friend, after all.” There was a thinly-veiled hostility to his tone which surprised even Remus. The waitress returned with the food before anything more could be said, and the rest of lunch was far quieter. James shut his mouth and looked away, eyes burning.

You were too uncomfortable to make any response one way or the other, though you didn’t really want the men to get into an argument over such trivial things. ‘Is it really trivial though? James is kind of right… why aren’t I dating anyone? I have a crush… why don’t I act on it? It seems to be reciprocated, from what I gather. Or was that just the effects of alcohol…’ You were so lost in thought that you barely ate. The waitress brought you a box to pack up your leftovers.

James was the first to leave after paying, without a word to anyone, although you caught an apologetic glance as he walked away. Peter popped up quickly and tagged along behind him, giving you a small goodbye wave. An audible sigh slipped past Remus’ lips as he stood up.

“While I agree with you, Sirius, I don’t know if that was the most effective way to deal with James’ query. But I understand… and I’ll go handle damage control since I already had the pleasure of Y/N’s company to myself. Thank you for joining us, by the way, Y/N. Sorry it didn’t go over as smoothly as we’d hoped.” His voice was firm but resigned. You shrugged and gave him a soft smile, knowing that there was nothing that could have been done about what occurred. You still had to speak with him later anyway, so he gave you a nod and followed the other two out the door, leaving you alone with Sirius, who was worrying at his cufflink. You turned to him, tilting your head at the door. He seemed to remember himself then and loped toward it alongside you. He took the box gently from your hand.

“Well, that was a lovely lunch, wasn’t it? I’m sure you’re itching for my next invitation now, aren’t you? You can plan for everything but this, I suppose…” Sirius tried to chuckle, but it sounded hollow. You reached out and gave his arm a gentle squeeze. He looked at you with a doleful expression, so you smiled back.

“I’m just happy I could get away from my desk and spend some time with all of you, really. Don’t worry about me. Your chivalry is noted, however…” Your tone was all velvet and sweetness, and this seemed to bring the warmth back to Sirius. You strolled in comfortable silence together, occasionally brushing shoulders before you finally arrived at the office building. He paused, looking up at it.

“Well, you’re always invited to lunch with us, regardless of our behavior. It makes me sad seeing you stuck at your desk all the time. I like to see you outside of your office persona. The party girl is just as cool as the businesswoman to me.” He purred as he handed back your box and opened the door. You could’ve sworn he winked as he mentioned partying; you couldn’t help blushing again.

It felt rather warm as you rode the elevator up together, and you had pointedly avoided the look Alastor gave as you two had passed by. You didn’t dare look over at Sirius for fear of him discovering your nervous demeanor, though you could feel his eyes on you. You let out the breath you didn’t know you were holding as the elevator reached your floor. You stepped out before Sirius stopped you, placing a hand on your arm. You started, turning back to him.

“You know I care about you, right? I mean, we all do, but I don’t want to have crossed a boundary defending you to James. And the whole thing with the party… I’m not sure what you think of me, but it’s important to me that those thoughts are positive. You’re… different. Special, you know?” The wholehearted vulnerability it took for Sirius to admit all of this, in the office potentially within earshot of other people, shook you to your core. It was a very rare man indeed who felt comfortable enough in his self-awareness and masculinity to admit all that. You didn’t quite understand why all this came to him now, but that didn’t matter.

“I do. And they are, trust me. Thanks for trying to wrangle James, but don’t worry about it for next time. I know him pretty well already to not take everything he says at face value, nor does he say anything to me that’s malicious. We’re all friends like you said. No need to dwell on it when we already have so many worries! But…” you paused to catch your breath and consider your final verdict, “I feel the same about you. You’re definitely a character, but a wonderful one!”

It was Sirius’ turn to blush, but you squeezed his hand on your arm before slipping out of his grasp and sauntering away to your desk, leaving him to stare in wonder after you. You didn’t look up until you were already seated, but he was already gone. Lily leaned back in her chair, giving you a look. You frowned, mouthing an apology before tucking into your desk. Rita had already sent another email making sure that you were on task. You’d made up your mind about talking to your love interest, but you would have to make time for that later...

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Thanks for reading, friends! You can now choose which path you want to finish up this little vignette below. Please specify if you want to be added to the tag list. Sorry for the repetition, but I had some people miss the rules last time so I want to be double sure you know what to do!

1. ...In the Office Kitchen

2. ...In the Floo Hub

3. ...In the Supply Closet

4 ...In the Testing Studio

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Tag List

@supremequeenofthenerds, @wizardwritings, @couragetocontinue, @fudgefight, @lionnottheanimal, @crtreg, @shehassomuchsoul, @formersovietunion and anyone who needs a rest from denouncing JKR for supporting nastyass TERFs! :)

#don't get caught #cubicles #choose your own ending #marauders x reader #office au #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter imagines #modern au #james potter x reader #sirius black x reader #remus lupin x reader #peter pettigrew x reader #my writing

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ktrsss1fics · 6 years

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@stylishmuser tagged Fergie for the character tag!

Rules: Choose a couple of favorite photos/gifs of your character! Copy and paste the questions down below! Answer as if you’re the character that’s been tagged! Then tag some characters/authors you would love to see answer next! (BTW, you’re also allowed to tag an author again if they have more than one character you want to answer these questions!)

I’m tagging Rolly @marisa-writes and Nina @beautifulletdownfics

1. If it’s 1am and you’re still awake and wanting to talk to someone, who do you call and what do you talk about?

Niall Horan. He usually picks up after one ring and is worried something is wrong. Most of the time I’m fine. The conversation varies depending on my level of sobriety and loneliness. Last time it happened we talked about getting a new bookcase from Ikea so I could show off this plant he was planning to buy me.

If it’s not Niall then it’s Alex, my younger brother. He’s still back home so if it’s early in the morning here, he’ll be awake. We usually talk about our parents and how close he is to my boyfriend -- it’s odd.

2. Are you a part of any fandoms? Or at least a big fan of something in particular?

CYOS! From the day I was born, I’ve supported Tottenham and probably will until the day I die.

The girls joke that Ni and I have our own plant club but I mean we’re adults and that’s definitely not a thing -- even though meetings are on Tuesdays at his place and we drink wine while talking about them.

3. Are you the big spoon or the little spoon?

Big spoon for Britt, little spoon for Ni.

4. If your mom text you right now, how would that make you feel?

She hasn’t spoken to me in a few hours so I’d be relieved that she’s alive. That’s sarcasm. She’d probably go on about Aunt Cynthia or “Our boy Niall” and it would make me miss her more than I usually do.

5. Have you ever been in love? Why/Why not?

When you’re young, you think it’s love but it’s not. Love is waking up on Sunday morning to a hungover man cooking you French toast because you mentioned it before you passed out in his armchair. Love is sending food to the office when you’ve had a shit day and calling incessantly to make sure it was good enough. Love is rearranging your tour schedule so you’ll be home for your best friend’s birthday. Love is a lot of things and I’m thankful I’m with someone who is willing to help me experience that.

6. Can you be trusted with a secret?

No one knows Britt gave Davey a blowie in Ni’s laundry the night of his Oscar party because he could name four different Amy Adams movies.

So, yeah, I guess I can.

7. Who was your childhood best friend? Are you still friends?

Brittany Anne Fletcher -- the biggest bitch I’ve ever met but I wouldn’t be the woman I am today without her.

8. What are three songs currently on your everyday playlist?

Say You Love Me by Jessie Ware

You & Me by Disclosure feat. Eliza Doolittle

Say My Name by Hozier

9. What is your secret talent?

I’m a pro at making floral arrangements.

I also trained Scout to steal Keith Miller’s spot on the couch whenever he goes to Niall’s to watch football. He hates it.

10. Have you pictured your future? If so, what does it look like?

It full of laughter, love, and a very stubborn Irish man child.

#georgina ferguson #cbto #cip #c&l #mw #pf #1dff #thank you for being a friend

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rgr-pop · 5 years

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Here is probably everything else I wore out and about this year less often or less memorably, I guess? It doesn’t seem like it, but I guess!

eyes:

Recently I’ve been trying to get use out of Subculture’s stone shade, Mercury. I really, really want to do grey and taupe and stone eye looks but I do not have what I need. This particular shade darkens a lot. I want to keep Subculture out to try to do new things with it–make that shade work more with the yellows, use the rosy shades, wear that metallic ONCE (I never have!!). I don’t really even remember wearing the Kristen Leanne palette this year, it was probably either the purple or the gold. This thing really is very pretty but it’s full of the kinds of potential looks I’ve already mastered and am unchallenged by. The UD Nocturnal palette is getting quite old and I’m trying to breathe new life into it–tried some looks with that purple and silver but it’s not the Cool Toned™ look I’m craving… I only use the mattes WnW’s revamped Comfort Zone palette (for how many years will we refer to it like that?) but I like them, as far as neutrals go. That Dior palette came from one of you guys and I’m still trying to figure out what it’s good for–I think I’m going to wear it on my face? That center shade in particular is just lovely for me. These just feel delicious.

Colourpop Sprinkle Me (this is kind of my go-to shimmery neutral “topper” shade, to the extent that I think it makes me lazy and I’m trying to use it left) and Don’t Leave, L’Oreal Infallible in Golden Emerald (these are still so good!), a Stila Magnificent Metals, the old kind you mix with a medium, in Metallic Gilded Gold. I did wear one of the Glitter and Glows this year but I guess it didn’t end up in here! MAC’s Bird of Prey pressed pigment from that LE Star Trek line–this remains just okay for me but I respect my choice to purchase it based on having the best of all the shade names! Bunch of fucking pencils, idk, I’m very lost when it comes to pencils: a NYX jumbo in Cashmere, a NYX retractable in Gold, Milani glitter retractable in Emerald Stone: they are all fine. A lot of this green and gold stuff was my NYE look.

I seem to recall doing an all-over-the-face look with that fluorescent pink Sweetpea & Fay pigment. I still have this! Pigments last forever! I am gonna keep this out for a blush.

There are three Grinch liquid liners from Pur that Westlin got me for Christmas (!) and I’ve been playing around with them. Reader, I’m out of practice. I’m not good at liquid liner. That is why I had coveted this set in the first place, because I didn’t have any and they’re the brush kind, which I always liked back in the days when we all wore liquid liner. But the learning curve is killing me a little bit here.

Two things I got from @madmoths that I’m still playing around with. That CYO mascara is GREEN! A dark green, pretty subtle on bare lashes. I wore it a few times then I wanted to keep it closed for a while until I got a white primer to try it with, so it didn’t dry out (esp given I have 100 mascaras open currently). I will report how it looks over the primer! What color eyeshadow with an evergreen lash? This would be a great time for a milky matte pink or mauve, which I DO NOT have! Strawberry milk + pine is a good colour combination. Then, black cherry or plum (for spring) and maybe mustard yellow. Seems like that is the agenda! Then there is a MAC dazzleshadow in Can’t Stop Won’t Stop. This has a plummy base with a looovely perfect light blue glitter in it, I’m trying to figure out the best way to layer it to bring out the blue. It is part of my cherry for spring plan! Sometimes I feel like I have a hard time wearing dark shades on my lid without feeling too…formal? And this is something I’m trying to get over. I think wearing them in particularly informal settings will help. (Maybe this is reservations about “sexy”?) This would look so good with a powder blue liner.

face:

I realize now that I should have put Anastasia’s Moonchild palette in my more used pile, I had totally forgotten about how all of January I wanted to be tin man. That silver-grey looks very flattering on me, but I want it to look grey. I want a fucking grey face highlighter. Pale princess problems :(

UD’s Bittersweet Afterglow blush, NYX’s Codebreaker ombre blush and Pinky powder blush: these are fine. Becca’s Opal is fine. That WnW Zodiac highlighting bar (Earth) is nice, it’s fine. It kinda made me like Mary Loumanizer, of all things, more, in comparison. That peachy Vera Mona thing is an eyeshadow that I wear as a blush. I am always thinking that I wish I had a peachy shimmery blush and forgetting I have that. I do not recommend those WnW stick blushes. I somewhat strongly recommend the Revolution liquid highlighters and the WnW Hello Halo liquid highlighters, the above are in the shades Liquid Champagne and Guilded (?) Glow. I like the Revolution one marginally better on me, easier to blend out.

I really wanted to like that Hourglass Vanish stick highlighter when it came out and I was amped to get a mini, it was so hyped and well-regarded. The shade is Champagne something or other. Maybe it’s just that I don’t wear foundation? But I don’t find this to be any nicer than any other stick highlighter I’ve tried, and I do like that kind of thing. It’s okay.

That WnW Illuminating Palette is still pretty nice, I feel like whenever I get bored of it I find a new way to use it. I have an idea about that and that little Vintage pink blush-highlight, they are both relatively subtle and very smooth: I think I might try to use them as finishing powders all over my whole face. Will report back.

That Colourpop blush is in the shade Bardot and I’m making a point to use it henceforth, these things don’t have forever shelf lives. It’s nice! I don’t love the super shock formula for blush specifically, I think it’s finnicky on a brush.

Oh! and my City Color Be Matte blush in Fresh Melon. Still my favorite. I’m a little concerned that it’s getting drier, and I cannot replace it!!

lips:

MAC Watch Me Simmer, still maybe my favorite lipstick of all time when I wear it, still haven’t found a dupe, lately I’m into wearing it very blotted out, because their cremes do emphasize lip weirdness and my lips have been VERY WEIRD.

The only thing here whose color isn’t represented well is that Maybelline lipstick. It’s called Fiery Fuchsia and I got it on super clearance. It is fairly similar to the fuchsia from the new Maybelline line, the one Nyma Tang had me wanting to buy, but this one was on clearance for like $3 likely for that reason, AND its # is 810 (flint area code). So far I quite like it, one of my favorite lipstick color families on me is what I call “dark pinks,” which are hot lipstick pinks at a darker value that haven’t been desaturated. This one is the most vibrant one in my collection so far and I imagine it’ll be an everyday shade for me. I’d like to get myself a liner in this family, because I’ve been relying more on liners since my lips have been Extremely Weird.

Here is Fenty’s Vay Cray gloss–this gets less winter time wear from me, because it can emphasize Weirdness, but it is ideal in the summer. Revlon’s HD matte metallic something or other in HD Dazzle is fine, Lucas got it for me hoping it would replace this (the only lip item I have EVER LOST! and mourn daily). It doesn’t, but I like it. More of those Benefit glosses in Hoola and Bella Bamba. Tom Ford Indian Rose: this is really nice especially if you have Weird Lip problems, but I like that Bare Minerals one better, maybe! The Bite Sephora birthday gifts– the stick in Glace and the bullet in Chai–are good, they’re fine, I haven’t learned to love them. I’m mad at Bite because a very very old lipstick I had from them finally got like, lowkey rancid, and it was expensive, and I’m like: what if you didn’t use food grade ingredients, hm? I haven’t found a good reason to wear that green, UD’s Junkie, much since the Christmas season, but I’ll figure it out. That Rimmel is one of my favorite shades,109, but the last time I wore it it was Weird (due to weird lips), so I’ve been afraid of it.

That Colourpop shade is Scorpio Moon (lol of course I bought it) and the quality and experience of it is unbelievable and it makes me want to buy more of them all the time. I’m hoping to get Flower Szn. Their Lux Lipsticks could be the best thing on the market–not just for the price, but for any price–if they kept them consistent and were willing to fill out a permanent range, but they won’t, because they are Colourpop! So they become the best for the price, maybe, but I still think something like Maybelline is a safer bet across the range. Anyway this color is so strange–which is good, it is unique. It turned out to be way more cool-toned on me than I expected, but at the same time it is not cool-toned enough, so I keep wearing it hoping it will be a delicious creamy greige, but it is not. That has been a trend for me this year, I am craving a delicious creamy greige and I have none. Hence these NYX shades, Haze (the straight grey) and Castle (the lavender, what a cute name), both of which I reach for when I want greige, and I end up disappointed, even though they are both good, especially that purple, which is a dear shade to me!

#makeup #color stories

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strengthofasunflower · 6 years

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Background Story About Myself

I want to give you all a background about myself, so you can get to know me a bit better.

So, my name is Samantha Dupont. I am Canadian. Right now, I live in Oshawa because that is where I went to college. I am 21 years old, soon to be 22 years-old in March. I love books, nature, plants (I love my plant babies), food, music, wellness, and fitness. I will make a blog post about all the things I love another time. Happily taken for 4 and half years now. So yeah, let’s get into how I got to this point.

In terms of education, I graduated from college back in August. I took two programs at Durham College. My first program was Health & Fitness Promotion. I took this program right after I was done high-school as a gateway program. After I finished my Health & Fitness Promotion Diploma, I went right into a graduate certificate called Activation Coordination in Gerontology. I know you all are wondering what the heck that program is. This program focused on the aging population and what we can do to help them. The program focuses on making and delivering meaningful, holistic, and age-appropriate activities to help enhance the quality of life in our aging population. After graduating, I was extremely lucky to go right into my field. I am employed with the Victorian Order of Nurses (VON) with their Adult Day Program and in Chartwell (long-term care side) as an activity aide. I am loving my job, I never feel like I am at work. It is fantastic! I know what you guys are thinking, how do you go from fitness to working with seniors. For me, it was a natural transition. Seniors have always had a soft spot in my heart because of my grandparents and great-grandmother. They were my inspiration to get into the field I am in.

So, a little bit more about my past. From a really young age, I was always doing something active. My parents put me into a bunch of sports, I did soccer, gymnastics, trampolining, volleyball and swimming for a while until I was put into basketball. Once I found basketball, that became the sport I became really attached to. I was first put into basketball when I was 11 and I decided to try out for the rep or traveling team that September. At this point in my young life, I never really played basketball or know a lot about the game but the coaches of the CYO rep team saw something in me and picked me to be apart of the team! Sadly, my first season was cut short due to me breaking my ankle that December. But my coaches did not want to give up on me, they refunded my money from that season to go to a camp called Olympia Sports Camp (I will do a post on this by itself, it is the best camp around) to help me develop my skills and to come back the next year. I was so thankful (still am) for these coaches, they saw how much protentional I had, and they really did want to see me be successful in basketball.

After that season, I fell in love with the game and it became a huge part of my life. I continued to play throughout elementary school to high school and to college, but throughout my basketball career, I had a ton of injuries after breaking my right ankle that first season. There are some major ones that I will talk about.

In grade 9, during one of my games, a girl stepped on my foot and hipped checked me a bit and it caused me to stretch the ligament’s in my left ankle which took me out for my high-school season and some of my travel season too.

In grade 10, at the start or middle of the travel season, I got a major concussion, a girl came over my back to get the ball and it ended with my head hitting the floor and the girl's elbow right after that. It was rough recovering from that. I really don’t remember what happened, the only reason why I knew what happened was that my dad was recording the games and I watched it happen.

In grade 11, I had the worse injury of all, I tore my ACL while in practice. It was heartbreaking, but it also sparked something inside me that made me want to return to sport as soon as I could. So, I went to a surgeon in London and got my ACL fixed (I will have a post about my whole journey with my ACL recovery). The last part of my grade 11 and start of grade 12 year, I worked my butt off that following year to try to get to play for high-school but sadly, I couldn’t make it for high-school (still on the team and supporting them, my coaches wanted me on the bench), but I was able to play for my travel team.

After high-school, I went to college and I wasn’t sure about playing at that level was for me but from the support of my parents, I went for it and made the team. My first year of playing was amazing; I didn’t get any injuries and got stronger. Then my second year happened, and I got hurt again physically and mentally. This season created a lot of issues for me, I started to lose my passion for the game I love from bad coaching and a negative environment and on top of that, I re-tore my ACL in the middle of my second year of playing for Durham College. It was very damaging for me as a person. I was so upset because I was getting to the point in my recovery from the first surgery that I was almost out of a brace and everything but there wasn’t anything I could do about it other than going for surgery again.

After finding out that my ACL was for sure gone, I decided to create a new path in my life with fitness. I took my pre-habilitation extremely seriously and become stronger both physically and mentally. I started to do powerlifting, plyometric work, yoga, and mobility work (or whatever my knee allowed me to do that day) which prepared me well for my surgery to the point that my surgeon was optimistic about the success of the surgery. So, December of 2017, I went in for ACL revision surgery (aka fixing already fixed ACL) and started my recovery. Just over a year has passed from this surgery and I am happy to report that my knee is stronger than ever and that I am not returning to sport right now, but I never know what the future may bring.

I know it was a lot my sports past and my injuries but that has been my life since I started to play basketball. It was a lot of focus on that and getting good grades at school. Yes, I had a few jobs but working in a factory and a summer camp isn’t that interesting and was only 8 months in my life. Yeah, there are more stories behind what I have told you, but those stories will come when I become more comfortable. Yeah, I have amazing friends and family too and those stories will come as my blog develops and grows. I want to be as open with you as I can but that takes time to be open with everything, but I know if I do, I can help others out. It all takes time and patience.

So that is my life right now, I am apart of the adult working world, trying to find what I am outside of school (aka I was a professional student until this point) and finding a balance in my health and wellness. It is time for me to grow and I cannot wait to become a stronger person.

“I want to be like a sunflower; so that even on the darkest days I will stand tall and find the sunlight.”

#background story #sunflower #injuries #young #canadian #basketball #ask blog #wellness #fitness #plants

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froggierboy · 6 years

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on teenage years

i work with a whole slew of people in my age range, teens and kids in their early twenties (i myself will be 20 next month). most of the kids i work with are from the town where i work, which borders the town where i live and went to high school.

sometimes one of these kids will say something that reminds me that my childhood, my formative years, were deeply abnormal.

i have a very good friend that i work with who likes to needle me by telling everyone that i was intimidated by her when we met. (this is very true.) so yesterday she was talking about it, and everyone wanted to know why. i told them the truth: "when cool people are really nice to me, i assume they're faking and plan to humiliate me later."

the immediate, resounding reaction was "that doesn't happen in real life! only in teen movies!" and i think hearing that, i had a little epiphany, one of those little breakthrough moments of realizing exactly how damaged and out of place i am. because that has happened to me countless times in every social context.

i mean, i haven't experienced horror-movie levels of mass humiliation (carrie, anyone?). but i've been through it like this:

for a good bit of elementary school, i had exactly one friend. she was shy, imaginative, and cripplingly anxious. when she wasn't in school, i would spend my recess playing alone, or holed up in a corner of the sport court with a book. there was a specific recess monitor who couldn't stand that i did this, and if she found me sitting quietly alone, she'd lead me to a group of kids from my class, and foist me upon them, asking sweetly if i could join their four square or double dutch or whatever. they would answer just as sweetly, "of course she can!" and then, the second the monitor walked away, they would move away, leaving me behind. i would go back to my lone activity, significantly more upset and embarrassed than i had been before. this happened so much that i still remember the exact feeling, and a few specific instances.

in middle school i went to a very small private school; there were 9 kids in my 5th-7th grade class when i was in the sixth grade, and 16 kids in the 5th-8th grade class the next year. there was a girl who would invite me over and we'd hang out and share secrets, and the next day the whole class would know what i'd told her. in cyo camp in the seventh grade, i forgot a clean set of clothes going to shower, and asked my closest friend to bring me some. i ended up alone in the showers, naked and cold, for almost a half hour because she ran into her boyfriend and simply forgot me.

my first job was at a franchise of a local fast food restaurant. i was barely sixteen and grappling with selective mutism and severe, near-daily panic attacks, and only got the job because my big brother was a shift super at the time. i met the first girl i ever had a irl crush on there; she was seventeen, the first real old-school butch i'd ever met, and unfailingly kind to me. she'd rub my back as i worked through attacks alone in the break room, and sneak my favorite snacks to me from the assembly bar. about a year into that job my anxiety had drastically improved, and she'd grown meaner and colder, and one day during a relaxed moment informed me that she "fucking hated" me for my first few months there: "you were always sitting in the break room crying while we all did work."

once i my junior year of high school i was sitting idly in my tech theatre class, talking to a punked-out underclassman i didn't know well when they pulled out a loose cotton "flag" they'd tie-died for studio art class and informed me that they'd peed on it as a prank for the much-hated art teacher. i didn't think much of it until they flung the flag at me and it hit me full in the face, still damp. i panicked, sprinted to the restroom and scrubbed my arms and face, and when i returned, they regarded me coolly: "sorry, i didn't think you would freak out."

this is just a small sample of some of the less personal incidents that i thought until pretty recently were just normal, inherent to teenage life. i've always assumed that most of my peers are more comfortable and confident than me due to a cross of my maturally poor mental health and some kind of horrible unnamed flaw in my dna. but when all these kids insisted that something i assumed to be a fact of life isn't even real, is just a movie trope, i felt like i'd been punched full in the face.

my circumstances are probably definitely not unique, but they are unique amongst the people i find myself constantly trying to measure up to. but it makes sense now! of course i'll never measure up to the cool confidence of a group who thinks that people in real life don't fake kindness with intent to ostracize and humiliate you, an occurence that's been so common to my life that i assumed it was universal.

it doesn't stop the hurting to understand why i'm so different, but i think realizing that i'm damaged by things that have been done to me over and over is much better than believing i'm defective from birth.

#personal #okay to reblog #bullying #mental illness #trauma

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1989xtaylorsversion · 4 years

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selena gomez releases her latest album Rare, and i’m here for it. (my album review)

selena gomez’s latest album is her best one. i said what i said.

i love selena, but her music career has been a little... questionable? messy? i haven't listened to any of her albums all the way through except for Revival and Rare. i think because she didn’t have her own sound or creative control, most of her songs on her albums felt really disingenuous to me. i randomly skimmed through her albums, and the songs that weren’t chosen as a single were either cute bops that i enjoyed, or random filler songs that shouldn’t have even made it to the album. selena isn’t the strongest vocalist, which is fine. not every artist needs to hit the ariana grande notes to make you feel something, i still very much enjoy her sweet and soft voice. but, with the other albums, it just didn’t feel like something she wanted to make. the songs just aren’t my cup of tea, which is why i don’t listen to any of selena’s albums pre Revival era.

real quick, i just want to mention my favorite songs off of that album because i don’t want to make a full post but i still want to give it an honorable mention. in my opinion, the best songs off of Revival are “cologne,” “sober,” “camouflage,” “same old love,” and “good for you.” the rest are unlistenable. a couple of them are bops and i’ll put them on sometimes but 95% of the time, i don’t bother with them.

ok back to this album...

i know some people weren’t happy with this album, for whatever reason. this is her best album to date. it feels authentic and like she finally found her sound. it's been a year since she released it, and i still listen to it almost daily. i don’t know about anyone else, but it aged very well for me. i mean, it’s not perfect and some songs were growers, but we’ll get there.

now, for my track-by-track review...

1. rare

ahhh the title track. i really like this song and the music video is GORGEOUS!! it’s not my favorite off of the album, but it’s sweet, and adorable. the bridge is definitely my favorite part, i just like how she sings it.

2. dance again

i really love this song. i think it’s short, upbeat, and it puts me in a good mood. it’s a tiny bit repetitive, but i’ll forgive it because it’s a bop. good job selena.

3. look at her now

i’m looking away.

selena stans... i’m sorry but this needs to be said... i don’t like this song.

this was the first grower, and i still don’t vibe with it. i think the chorus in incredibly annoying, and i wish she had replaced it with words. it threw me off when i first heard it, which was disappointing because i reallyyy liked the verses and the pre-chorus. the chorus is literally the only reason i don’t like it. it just sounds irritating and i can’t get past it. i usually just skip this song. the music video is beautiful though.

4. lose you to love me

THIS IS SELENA’S BEST BALLAD!! there’s a reason it went #1, and i don’t want to hear any slander. it’s beautiful, emotional, and perfect. i’ve said before that i love ballads, so this song is exactly what i wanted from her. she sounds amazing, and her soft voice is perfect. if you ever want to feel like you’re in a sad movie, put this song on. the music video is simple, but effective. thank you, selena. this song better be in your top 3.

5. ring

this song was another grower. i didn’t hate it, but it didn’t jump out at me like the previous track. however, i have grown to like it. her voice sounds really good, and i appreciate the sassiness.

6. vulnerable

wow, this song blew me away. it sounds so different but it also works so well for selena. i love the lyrics and the production. it’s such an interesting song, but she pulled it off really well.

7. people you know

i. love. this. song. once again, its production is really interesting, but she sounds amazing!! it can be a little repetitive, but in the best way. the post-chorus is my favorite part because i love the way she sounds. it’s definitely in my top 5.

Dum-dum-dum, da-da-dum-dum-dum Da-da-dum-dum, da-da-da-dum People you don't Dum-dum-dum, da-da-dum-dum-dum Da-da-dum-dum, da-da-da-dum People you don't (Ooh) From people you know to people you don't (Ooh) From people you know to people you don't

8. let me get me

another bop! this song is so catchy and fun. she knew what she was doing with this. it puts me in a good mood, and that’s that. my favorite lyric is, “I'm in dance floor therapy, all my babies and me.” i don’t know why, but i love it and i think it’s cute.

9. crowded room ft 6LACK

this is a really sweet and slow song. it’s not the most special and captivating, but it’s nice. it can be a little forgettable at times, but it’s not bad by any means. it’s a nice collab, and their voice sound good together. speaking of her voice, she whispers the words towards the end, and it sounds magnificent. i don’t know what it is about the way she sings the last few lines, but i love it.

10. kinda crazy

this was another grower, and i’m still a little conflicted. i like it, but it’s not one i tend to reach for. i don’t really listen to it a whole lot, so i guess it hasn’t totally grown on me. it’s a little forgettable, but not horrible. it’s kind of just there.

11. fun

ok, i’ve been up and down with this one. at first, i didn’t really like it, but now i sort of do?... it’s an average song, but it’s still fun (pun intended). i randomly went back one day to listen to it, and i was like “wait it’s not bad.” i think because i looove the bridge, it made me like the rest of the song too, so i guess that’s its saving grace.

You look like You don't, but you know how Like a beautiful breakdown And it's just not right, but you look like You don't, but you know how Make me wanna slow down And it's just not right that you look like

12. cut you off

another grower. it’s average, i’m sorry CYO stans. i don’t hate it, but i don’t listen to it a whole lot. i really like the pre-chorus and the bridge, though.

13. a sweeter place ft kid cudi

i. love. this. song. it gets stuck in your head, but in the best way. the production is amazing, and so unique. i think it was the perfect conclusion to the album. i wish she had made this a single. definitely in my top 5. amazing job, selena and kid cudi!

DELUXE SONGS - for this part i’m going to list them in order from my fav to least fav.

1. souvenir

i reallyyyy love this song. i listen to it a lot, and i think she sounds really amazing. it’s different and not too long, which is perfect. i feel like it should’ve made the original album and replaced one of the other songs, such as “look at her now.” yeah, i said it.

2. boyfriend

it’s a bop. it’s short, it’s cute, it’s nice. i like the production and the music video is awesome too.

3. feel me

i know a lot of fans were really excited for this one, and she delivered. it’s a really nice song, and i tend to listen to it time to time.

4. she

i like this song and its message. however, i don’t listen to it a whole lot so it’s my least favorite out of the three.

overall thoughts:

i love this album, and like i said it aged really well for me. it sucks that she didn’t promote it as much, and of course the year didn’t make it easy for her. i don’t really listen to the criticism because i want to just take in the music and enjoy it. i don’t need people’s negativity to overpower my love for this record. i know she’s releasing an EP in Spanish, and i think it’s cool she wants to try something new. however, if she continues to make music, i hope one day she makes another album like this, because i think this is her sound. she sounded incredible on every track, and this is her best album to date.

rating: 8.5/10

the weakest songs: look at her now, cut you off, kinda crazy

the strongest songs: lose you to love me, people you know, a sweeter place, souvenir, and vulnerable

#selena gomez #rare #people you know #vulnerable #lose you to love me #album #a sweeter place #look at her now #boyfriend #souvenir #feel me #selena #my album review

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dippedanddripped · 4 years

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Currently, brands around the world are reckoning not only with the reality of police brutality, but with inequality, injustice, and racism at large (often in terms of how they relate to their own business practices). But for Tremaine Emory and his label Denim Tears, justice and social change have always been front and center, and a part of the brand’s DNA. In fact, Emory has spent the last few years further proving that education and social justice are not independent of “hype.” In 2017, following the death of his mother, he released T-shirts to benefit Every Mother Counts, an organization dedicated to providing health care to mothers around the world.

In 2018, he collaborated with artist Brendan Fowler on up-cycled T-shirts given away to kids who proved they voted. Earlier this year, for the brand’s first big collaboration, he released a capsule with Levi’s that referenced the cotton African Americans were forced to pick under slavery. In short, they became an instant classic. (If you want a pair of the jeans today, they’ll run you $3,000 on eBay.)

So in this moment of immense unrest, in which arguably more Americans than ever are discussing police brutality and thinking of ways to create a truly equitable society for all, Emory’s first move was to drop a T-shirt, the proceeds of which will benefit Know Your Rights Camp. But, as you might expect from his previous work, he’s not stopping there. On Friday, he took to Instagram to announce his latest collaboration—a take on the classic Converse Chuck Taylor—that is inspired by David Hammons’ iconic “African-American Flag,” an artwork first released in 1990 that depicts a red, black, and green version of the U.S.A.’s stars and stripes.

The announcement came with a major caveat: Emory will not allow Nike (Converse’s parent company) to release the shoes until he feels the Swoosh has done more to help—and more to bring about lasting change—than its $40 million donation to black community organizations, which he dubs a “very expensive band-aid.”

Here’s what Emory is looking for before giving the green light on the shoes: 1) Nike must stop supporting the Republican Party as long as Donald Trump is the party’s leader 2) Report how many people of color and women work for the brand versus how many they sponsor 3) Report how many people of color and women have leadership roles at Nike and 4) Nike must aid in helping defund police departments across the country.

Below, we spoke to Emory about the sneakers, what inspired this line-in-the-sand moment, and his vision for the future of black creatives in America.

Was this a project that you had been working on with Nike before this? Like, are they aware of this project or is this just something that you decided to take on now and just like put it out in the universe before they even knew about it?

No, no, they paid me a design fee. So it’s been in the works for like a year, six months.

Was the project always going to look like this, or has it changed over time? Just tell me a little bit more about it.

Nike first reached out and was like, we want to do a shoe with you and Denim Tears, with some other designers of color, for Black History Month. It was supposed to be like last year and then, I think it got pushed, but, I’m not sure about the timing, it was like me and a couple of other designers. And then, things are happening, things are happening then they’re like, “Oh, we’re going to put it out”. It was supposed to come out this summer, and then due to COVID, it got pushed to 2021, which was fine.

Did they have an issues with the design?

They didn’t like my box. They didn’t want to use the coffin [as the shoe box]. I told them the coffin represents every black person’s plight, that’s died since the beginning of slavery to now. And they felt it was offensive to the US military, even had a problem with me using the flag in general. Then they were finally cool with that, but they felt the flag on the coffin was offensive to the military, which I’m like, it’s the pan-African flag and no disrespect to the US military. It’s based on David Hammons’ flag and Marcus Garvey’s flag. To all the blacks, blacks, people of color that have suffered since the beginning, the dawn of this nation.

And now that we’re in this moment, are you hopeful that they’ll change their opinion on all things you just mentioned?

The sneakers are on roll to come out. I have a marketing budget and everything. My thing is like the $40 million [donation] isn’t enough. Think about it. Kanye gave two million and he’s one person he’s worth $1.3 billion. How many billions per quarter does Nike make? 40 million isn’t enough. And also even if they gave a billion dollars, if they don’t position that money to change the institutionalized white supremacy and racism in America, the money’s a waste. It needs to help defund the police that brutalized people of color, women, gays, everyone across America. Help defund the police. Help make it so the police do not have immunity.

And it’s not enough for LeBron to be safe because he slipped through the cracks of white supremacy through his hard work, talent and some luck. And through his mother raising him. Every kid needs to be protected. You know?

Absolutely.

Nike cannot support and donate money to the Republican party whilst Donald Trump is running for president. It’s fine. I don’t have no problem with people choosing to be Republican or Democrat. It’s a choice. But Donald Trump has vitriol that he spits. He didn’t mention George Floyd once until the protest started. Not once. “Looting means shooting.” Nike’s going to give money to that man’s campaign? To his party while he’s their front runner?

So you’re looking for a lot more transparency there in terms of who Nike actually is supporting both politically and with their products at the local level.

It’s what Ben & Jerry’s said, that level of white supremacy is institutionalized and keeps the foot on us. Anything less than what Ben & Jerry did [is not enough]. And anything less than them, not just putting money, but helping change policies in America, for people of color, the LGBT community, and women. Anything less than that, there’s nothing. And me personally, I can’t control any of my peers, what they do, but I can control what I do. And the third thing is I need to see the percentage of people of color, LGBTs and women comparatively to the percentage of people of color, who Nike sponsors. I’m not just talking about LeBron and Travis Scott. I’m talking about the little kid who lives in Jamaica, Queens that plays on a CYO team, that has a jersey, that has a Nike check on it.

When did you learn that Nike is such a big supporter of the Republican Party?

It’s easy to look into the donations. Just look for yourselves, see if I’m right or wrong and look where they donate most of their money.

Is that as a company or are those individuals who work for the company? I’m worried about the company. That’s as a company.

Let’s talk about the design of the shoes. Can you talk a little bit about David Hammons and what he means to you and why you decided to reference that in the sneakers?

David Hammons is an artist who I’ve been seeing his art for a long time floating around. And then, I got formally put onto him by my friends, Virgil [Abloh] and Acyde. And we’ve been talking about and sharing his artwork for years, you know, longer than I’ve known those guys.

He’s just one of my favorite artists. When I first found out about him, I was a bit upset because why did I only know about Basquiat? I felt I hadn’t been searching enough. And then also the art world had not shown me him the same way they show me Basquiat, who’s incredible in his own right. But they just gave us that one token. And there’s so many great artists of color, of both genders that don’t get exposed, He’s become one of my biggest inspirations.

What does Hammons’ flag mean to you? We don’t have a flag as my OG says. The Africans that were taken as slaves from Africa, we’re no longer Africans. We’re mutated. We’re mutated from our ancestors into black Americans. And David made our flag in 1990 based on Marcus Garvey’s flags. Marcus Garvey’s thing was about us going back, but you know what? We built this country and I want what we deserve. What do Native Americans deserve? The Asians, Chinese deserve that built the railroads, that sat in internment camps. The Japanese. Everyone, the Jews, all the minorities based on their skin color, the gender and the economic status to get what we deserve. And the power needs to be equally distributed. America is run by corporate, Fortune 500 companies and they lobby the politicians.

It’s not just the politicians. We need the corporations to step up and squeeze the politicians to get it. Look at the NRA. All the school shootings that happen and the NRA still has guns. Don’t just say it will be solved. They lobby so that they are no matter how many kids will kill in school. So I need Nike and all these other corporations that make money off of people of color and women, the LGBTs, to lobby for us. So we are protected as the NRA is.

In terms of referencing David Hammons, are there any initiatives on your side to formally collaborate with the artist or the estate?

I would love to work with David Hammons, but his work just speaks for itself. So honestly, that’s why I didn’t want to reach out to him. I just wanted to interpret his flag because I wouldn’t want to take it. His vision is pure. His artistry’s pure. The way he, as far as I know is pure. So I wouldn’t want to taint it with…this is what I’m going through with Nike and everyone’s going through it.

What’s your assessment of the lengths that companies in general are going to at this moment or that they need to get to in the future? Particularly other brands in the fashion space.

Take Balenciaga, who said they’re donating annually to the NAACP. I need them to make it so a Black kid or a Mexican kid or Asian kid, or a trans kid, can intern at Balenciaga or anywhere in the fashion industry, because why is the fashion industry mainly upper class white people? Because when you get out of fashion school, if you can even afford it, get a scholarship to make it as a minority. Can you do the internship that you don’t get paid for? That’s systemic change. That’s changed the institution of white supremacy across the world, across the Western world. So I need them to dig deep, deep, not a fancy expensive band aid.

How do you feel about how all these other corporations tend to give people of color these sort of collaborations in certain moments, as opposed to all year round? You mentioned in the very beginning that the speaker was intended as a Black History Month collaboration.

I think it’s counterproductive to long term change. Bring people soup when they’re sick, not flowers to the funeral, literally.

White supremacy and capitalism have been working for 400 years just in America alone. So, it works every day. I need Nike and every other billion dollar company to work every day, to change it for women, for black people, Mexican people, for everybody. That’s what I need.

What do you mean when you say it’s counterproductive?

We have to song and dance and do a version of a minstrel show for these corporations to pay our bills. And you know what, I’m not dancing no more. Like I was able to pay my bills and have fun with my friends and live happily when I was a stock guy at Marc Jacobs. And I’ve been building up to this and I’ve had so much support from my friends and my ancestors and the books I read and the movies I’ve seen, and the conversations we have, I’m going to do my best. And I will not be perfect. People were finding flaws in my movement, but I don’t want to dance anymore in any major company that I work with and collaborate with. I have to see that they have women, LGBTs and people of color in positions throughout all levels of the company. And I need to see that these companies are fighting against white patriarchal supremacy that affects women of all colors, affects LBGT, poor people in general and people of color. In the Western world, North America specifically. And that’s what I’m, I’m going to try and hold it. Maybe it doesn’t cost me anything, maybe everything, maybe not, I don’t know.

We work in fashion, so when we criticize capitalism, some people tend to say, “Well, if there was no capitalism, then you wouldn’t have those fancy clothes and fancy sneakers that you like so much.” How do you respond to that kind of comment?

That’s called Stockholm syndrome. And people who make those comments are suffering from it. At the end of the day, I can only speak for myself. My ancestors were brought here as slaves. So I’m here and I’m fighting it out and I’m rumbling. I got family members that got Crohn’s disease that need help with insurance. I got a grandmother who’s 92 years old that needs financial help. I got another one that’s 93 year old that needs financial help. I got to pay my rent. So I still live in reality. Because you see what happens when we go full throttle, Black Panther— they wipe you out. So I’m in the system, building a system next to the system, but I will no longer do the Trojan Horse method, which I’ve done, where you creep in and then you try to bring in a couple with us.

You can’t try to outsmart racism. You cannot try to outsmart capitalism. People will say, like, “Oh you, but you, but you got a Rolex.” Martin Luther King had a Rolex too. And he also had a bullet in his head on the balcony of the Lorraine. You know what I mean?

#nike #Tremaine Emory #converse #denim tears #streetwear blog

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1998tales · 5 years

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13 MARCH 2020

11:42PM

I should have called into work today. Instead, I went in and got incredibly bored and decided to take a half day. I should be reserving my vacation days, but didn’t care. I had lunch and then took a nap.

I watched The Virgin Suicides earlier. I remember watching it the first time in high school and being obsessed with it. The book was great too. I’m going to reread it ASAP.

I hate how you don’t know why the girls committed suicide. I hate how the boys never really got to solve the mystery. It’s not a whodunnit. We always knew they were going to die. The girls are the mystery themselves. What was really going on in their minds? I wish the author would reveal the reason(s). Why did they ask the boys to help them and then commit suicide? There’s so many questions left unanswered.

Something random that I always liked about the story was how the boys catalogued the possessions they could find of the girls’ and notes they sent them. All of these “exhibits” but they still can’t piece it together.

I’ve done that myself with people. Well, one person in particular, the one I’ve had the crush on for five years. I’m not sure if I’ve lost them, but I used to keep every note he wrote. Work related notes. A Christmas card. I have nothing else from him. I deleted his phone number and focused on not remembering it. In the digital age, it was easy to forget it.

Aside from that, I hit pan on another shade in my Charlotte Tilbury palette today.

As you can see, the pans are really shallow. The cost per gram of a CT palette is really high.

And I finished a bottle of CYO foundation. This is a discontinued brand, but the same foundation is produced by Soap N Glory at an escalated cost now. I have a few more bottles of it.

Covid-19 continues to affect our lives. It’s crazy how so many sports have been suspended. Tv shows and netflix productions have been suspended. Tegan and Sara were going to put their tickets on sale today, but decided to push them back because no one knows how safe concerts will be with this virus going around. People are panicking and buying up all the toilet paper. It’s a crazy time to be alive.

I was looking at Record Store Day and saw that it had been pushed back to June. These are the records that I’m looking at. Probably won’t get them because too many people buy up products to sell on Ebay, LOL. I didn’t get any of the ones I wanted last year.

I hate how last year (or the year before, I’m probably mixing up the dates), I didn’t realize that Booksamillion had their own exclusive release. They had Poe’s album Haunted. That’s one of my favorite albums. I’ve probably listened to it hundreds of times in full. People are selling it for a lot on Ebay. I have it on CD. Actually, two copies, so I can’t justify buying it.

I did make an online purchase today, but it was a preorder, so I don’t think it counts in breaking my Lent promise. I won’t receive the product until after Lent. Maybe it was cheating, but I don’t see it that way.

It was Liam. <3 I couldn’t help myself.

#liam gallagher #tove lo #the virgin suicides #jeffrey eugenides #sofia coppola #covid-19 #coronavirus #record store day #vinyl #project pan #makeup pan #cyo #charlotte tilbury

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recentnews18-blog · 6 years

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New Post has been published on https://shovelnews.com/falls-tarts-week-seven-the-silly-the-stupid-and-the-stunningly-weird-of-the-big-ten/

Fall's Tarts, Week Seven: The Silly, the Stupid, and the Stunningly Weird of the Big Ten

If you like dumb football, boy, did we have a weekend for you! Prominently featuring series favorites Rutgers, Nebraska, and James Franklin, Week Seven brought the stupid just for you.

Rutgers Forgets to Field a Kickoff

If this article series had a mascot, I think this play would be it. While there is really no explanation for WHY this happened, we can explain WHAT happened. Kind of.

Following their first (fated to be of many, because, Rutgers) touchdown, Maryland kicked off the ball, because that is how football is played. Even a casual student of the game understands this, and knows that following a kickoff, the opposing team will field the ball to the best of their ability. Unfortunately, the best of Rutgers’ ability appeared to be… just opting to not field the ball. Theories abound for what happened here, but the end result was that no Scarlet Knight came close to fielding the ball, and instead all began earnestly blocking for no one.

Props to the Maryland player aware enough of the situation to snag the ball and turn this into world’s oddest onside kick, but holy hell Rutgers. This is some peewee football shit.

The Mothership wrote a brutal but hilarious article about poor Rutgers and their breathtaking race to futility, and you should check it out: “Rutgers Is a Russian Nesting Doll of Sadness.”

Husker Tackling Improves, But Room for Improvement Remains

Speaking of peewee football shit, this happened in the Nebraska game, because of course it did:

I know this is of my team, and this loss hurt… but damn, if I don’t laugh every time I watch that clip above. It looks like some kind of Arrested Development bit.

James Franklin Speaks

After yakking up a Nittany Lion-sized hairball in each of the last two games, the tide has turned on Penn State, and especially on Head Coach James Franklin. He didn’t land on this list for trying to fight a fan this week, so progress! However, his post-game comments and demeanor still rubbed many the wrong way.

The lateral play, I’ve been told by the officials during the game and some people I talked to after the game, that the rule says that if the arm is going forward, whether it goes backwards or not, it’s an incomplete pass. That doesn’t make sense to me. From the time I was in Little League, if the ball is going backwards, it’s a lateral. So, it went from 2nd and 20, to 2nd and 10. So, huge play in the game. I’m not questioning, (Ed. note: it sounds like he IS questioning, actually) I’m just saying from my perspective, it doesn’t make sense to me. From the beginning of time, since I was 65-pound football at Assumption CYO, playing football, if you throw the ball backwards it’s a lateral. Big play in the game.

It’s stuff like this. If you’re earning $5.6 million a year, people kind of think you should know the rules of the game you are coaching, instead of complaining about how things used to be in “Little League” (which… isn’t that baseball? Or is little kid football also called Little League in other parts of the country?) As have other coaches in the conference, Franklin is learning that it’s fine and dandy to have a vivid personality and a shtick— but the tolerance for that evaporates quickly if the wins aren’t there.

While Franklin still has his defenders among PSU fans, many have started to notice that he’s 3-11 against OSU, UM, and MSU—not exactly the eastern dominance they had anticipated and hoped for. With a week off to prepare, there wasn’t much reason for Penn State to lose to what appears to be a mediocre-at-best MSU squad. You can see all of his comments here.

Illinois Squanders Momentum of Beating Rutgers By Turning Back Into a (Gray) Pumpkin

I am not sure if there was a particular moment in this game that would be a better fit, but Thump has been reduced to mostly angry rantings about Illinois, so getting anything specific was a little tough. However, since they got their snot rocked by Purdue, he was adamant that they be included in this article. So, here we go:

After gathering the semblance of a crowd for the first time in awhile, Illinois rewarded the Illini faithful by dressing like a cloudy day and playing in a way that gave the crowd S.A.D.

Huskers Commit Another Ill-Timed Major Penalty, Water Remains Wet

For the second time this season, Northwestern was able to turn the poor judgment of an opponent into a Wildcat victory. Earlier in the season, Purdue’s Lorenzo Neal committed a memorably boneheaded personal foul that allowed Northwestern to ride out the rest of the game instead of giving Purdue another shot to win it.

Not to be outdone, the Huskers were up to the task on Saturday. Up ten with mere minutes remaining in the game, the Huskers coughed up a field goal and then had a short offensive series. New Nebraska punter Isaac Armstrong (poorly named, really), a walk-on from Lincoln, did the Big Ten proud by kicking a beauty that landed at the 1-yard line with 2:02 to go. You can’t ask for anything more from your punter in that situation, and things looked dire for Northwestern.

However, Nebraska wasn’t about to ride victory quietly into that good night. No, instead Carlos Davis committed a roughing the passer penalty to give Northwestern 15-yards of breathing room, and from that more comfortable perch, they marched down the field to a tie, and eventual overtime win.

Oh Huskers.

Rutgers Can’t Pass

That is a literal statement.

Poll

What was the tartiest tart this week?

46%

Rutgers Forgets to Field Kickoff

(66 votes)

Huskers Tackle Each Other

(8 votes)

James Franklin Fails to Get It

(14 votes)

Illinois

(2 votes)

Husker Addiction to Penalties

(3 votes)

34%

Rutgers “Passing”

(49 votes)

Other, I’ll Tell You in the Comments

(0 votes)

142 votes total Vote Now

Source: https://www.offtackleempire.com/2018/10/15/17975844/falls-tarts-week-seven-silly-stupid-stunningly-weird-big-ten-football-bad-plays-mistakes

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its-becca-bitch · 8 years

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IDK...I’m in a really weird place right now

i don’t really know why I decided to drift back here, except maybe that it was a place to organize my thoughts and feelings when I didn’t actually know which way was up. I assume there are still people I know on this, but I don’t know if it’s the same deal as when we were younger. And honestly...I’m not sure that I even care. Maybe this is better suited for a diary, but I find myself censoring myself on paper. Forced and disingenuous...funny how that works isn’t it?

I think I’ve done a pretty good job of creating a character for myself. So maybe that sounds a little extreme, because that character is me. Or mostly me, anyway. It’s the me that I want to be most of the time...but not the whole me. I love that me...I think she’s fun and funny and pretty and silly and carefree and innocent and just naive enough to not be jaded. I think that’s what most of the people in my life think about me too...but I’m not sure if it comes off as positive to them as it does to me.

But when I think, and overthink, which happens way too much...that all gets twisted. I become the butt of the joke even to myself. I become insecure and needy and unsure of where I fit in. My natural inclination towards silliness and smiles and laughter and naiveté becomes stupidity and immaturity. I worry that I’m bothering people, that I need to stop getting so caught up, that my feelings are dumb and I’m a nuisance. That I need to stop talking about the things that eat up 90% of my consciousness, because I’ve said it all before and this isn’t really anyone else’s problem and literally no one wants to hear about it. And so I try hard to stop, and it builds and it builds and it builds. And then the anxiety comes back and it makes my chest feel so full. And I start obsessively checking Facebook or instagram or my phone or anything like that. (I literally don’t know why, I don’t know what I’m going to find? Or what I want to find?)

It’s not that I want to be on top of people all the time...I really don’t. I never have...anyone who knows me for any length of time knows I truly appreciate being at home and I don’t need or even like constant communication. I don’t even know what I would talk about with anyone that much. My life isn’t that eventful or exciting. But when I start feeling like this, I start to crave validation that people give a shit and that I’m not just the pest you can’t get rid of, because you’ve already invested too much time and energy to it. What’s that line in Macbeth? Like that.

So last night, something pulled me to look at my posts from the college years, which is really the last time I spent any time here (they actually made me reset my password yesterday because I’ve been inactive for so long). And it’s been 3 years and nothing has changed. I’m still as sad and pathetic as I’ve always been. My love life is nonexistent....remember when I wanted to be married by 23?! HAHAHA. Which is another thing...I’m totally competent on my own. I like the things I do and how I act and how I conduct myself. I make my own money and i buy myself nice things. I have fun, and surround myself with people that I really truly love and admire. I surprise myself and push myself to do things and I revel in the majesty of everything around me. (As I’ve gotten older, I’ve started to appreciate things I’ve never appreciated before. Like i’ve always loved the beach, but now I love it for a different reason. Right now I want to be in a cabin in the mountains and breathe the crisp air and drink coffee with a fire and walk around and find a quiet place. Not to get all Walden though...because I’d like to do that with someone. I like being with people generally.) The thing is...even though I’m totally cool with myself, I care too much. I give and I give and I give and sometimes to people that I’m not sure I even cross their minds. I’d love to be someone’s first choice. Someone that someone thinks about. And then there’s the whole stupid romantic part of me that literally feels all of these feelings and butterflies and whatever the hell goes on, and I wonder if I’ll ever be on the receiving end? I feel too deeply all the time, about everything. People I’m closest to have even told me that, not verbatim, but the sentiment is the same. Which is troublesome, because really who wants to be with the overly emotional and sentimental friend? Anyway it’s exhausting! I’m still concerned that I’m bothering everyone all the time. I’m ambitious as all hell, but I don’t know what I want to do. I just want to have a nice life with a nice family...but it all seems so far away. I don’t see a path to get it...and maybe that’s what’s bothering me the most?

I’ve done a lot of growing. I know that things aren’t roses. I know that I have an anxiety problem. I know of ways of coping. I know that that’s just life. I know that being positive is the absolute KEY. And I am positive, I am optimistic. Truly...perhaps even to a fault. Maybe I’m so convinced that things are going to work out in my favor that I’m sabotaging myself. Maybe wanting something/someone/some people/some life so badly is ruining my chances of getting it. (Maybe that deal I made with God at my brother’s CYO soccer championship when I was 11 is coming back to bite me in the ass.) So maybe I just have to deal with it now. Maybe I have to accept that I’m 23 years old and nothing is the way I thought it would be, and just because I want something doesn’t mean it can happen. (As I think about this, I just keep picturing myself reaching for the green light. That is almost exactly what I’m doing right now and look what a mess that turned into. How fucking scary is that shit? Oh God, please please please don’t let that be me) And maybe i have to accept the fact that magic isn’t always real...but I can sure as hell cling to it and hope for it and believe that the fireworks over Cinderella’s castle might actually be for me. Because I really really think they could be...

#This is hella disjoined and makes no sense #stream of consciousness #literal verbal vomit #personal

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cultureaddictconfessions · 5 years

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Unexpected Love - Cubicles CYO Ending #3

(As requested by readers, I’m posting all the endings for Cubicles! I hope you enjoy them, and I am excited to bring you more choose your own ending fics in the future. Shoot me a message if you want to be tagged. Stay tuned! xoxo, Bri)

Your favorite thing about parties had always been music. There was always a new song to discover, and you got to watch people being silly and free while they were dancing. It was refreshing to be able to let loose after such a vexing day at work. You ate candy and drank a little more than usual, trying to keep in mind that you still owed Lily a visit in the morning. You chatted up some of your coworkers. The girls were funny, talking shit on the trouble the guys caused or when their bosses were being assholes. It was nice to diversify your company because you expected to spend some of the night chatting with your male friends, or wishing Lily was there, or fending off drunk creeps (of which there were a few in your office, not that they were completely unmanageable.) You were presently toward the middle of the dance floor, focused on Alice Fortescue, who kept debating whether or not she was going to spend the weekend lounging in the countryside, or whether she would finally ask out Frank Longbottom. It wasn’t long before she realized that your attention was slipping, and she followed your gaze toward the DJ booth. She turned back to you, giving you a rather sly smile. You blushed. “I didn’t know you had a thing for Remus Lupin, Y/N… he’s very sweet, isn’t he? All the other girls talk about how he’s the most agreeable one of his friends, did you know? You should ask him to dance with you.” If you were being honest with yourself, you hadn’t actually thought of Remus as anything more than a gentleman and a friend until this very moment. He was always polite to you, and you gathered that he had a soft spot for you because he was always attentive whenever he was around you and always asked if you needed help with anything. But isn’t that what friends did for each other? Lily did the same thing without asking and never expected anything in return. Still, you’d been friends long before you got the job. This was different; this was a guy who always stuck around his friends, or was usually too focused on his work to make time for anyone unless it was necessary. It wasn’t that he didn’t like people, but that he took his job very seriously, much like everything else in his life. It was admirable, but difficult to crack and understand. “Whoah whoah, Alice, slow down. How do you know I was looking at him? And anyway, we’re just friends. I barely know him, honestly. He’s so reserved and professional; even if I wanted to make a move on him, he would probably deem it inappropriate for co-workers to interact romantically…” Alice seemed unconcerned with Remus’ perceived shy nature and promptly grabbed you by the arm, leading you in his direction. You tried to wriggle out of the tiny woman’s grasp, but she was alarmingly strong compared to her size. Frank was chatting with Remus, as you noticed when you finally got close enough. You grimaced, giving Alice a desperate look, but she would have no pity since her mind was made up. She went right up to the two of them and just stood there. “You know you haven’t asked me to dance yet, Frank Longbottom. This party is halfway over and you’ve spent the whole time chatting with boys.” Alice looked up at him, chin raised and a judgmental look on her face. A blush raced up his face, and he chuckled nervously, while Remus watched this exchange with quiet amusement. Frank apologized to Remus and held his arm out to Alice, who took it gleefully while giving you a piercing stare. Remus followed her gaze and found you, looking like a deer in the headlights. A warm smile appeared on his face as he waved. You took the gesture and ran with it, mostly because you didn’t want Alice to do anymore orchestrating because she’d be much more aggressive and far less cool. He nodded his head respectfully when you arrived in front of him. He was a head taller than you, a willowy frame. “You look nice, Y/N. You changed your outfit.” You nodded shyly. “I had to help James set up after lunch, so I figured I should bring something a little nicer to wear for the evening. Sorry about Alice… I was just talking to her and she decided she was done waiting for Frank to pay attention to her and made a move herself…” You looked down at your shoes, chuckling at the little white lie you were giving him. He reached out and gave your shoulder a gentle squeeze to stop you, a smile spreading warmth in your direction. You blushed, avoiding his eyes. “Well, should we stand here quietly, or do you want to dance?” You finally managed to proposition him. He blinked at you for a moment, trying to process what you’d just said before he slipped his hand into yours and placed the other one gently at your waist. You were a little thrown by the juxtaposition of formality and intimacy. Everyone around you was grinding on each other, but ever the gentleman, that wasn’t Remus’ style. “This isn’t quite the music for this kind of dancing, but I think I do this much better than I do… that.” Remus chuckled softly so that only you could hear him. He was indeed quite a good dance partner, leading you effortlessly through a series of steps. You hadn’t had to ballroom dance like this since you were a child at your family Christmas parties. “Still with me, or are you already getting tired?” Remus ribbed when you spaced out reminiscing. You blushed, shaking your head vigorously and stepping a little closer to him, your hand down to his forearm. He gulped. “You tensed up. Relax, I won’t bite… unless you ask nicely.” You winked up at him, which elicited a nervous laugh. He loosened his firm grip on your hand, although the one on your waist was still strong, almost possessive. He was glancing around then, particularly at a few of the guys who took notice of you dancing with Remus. You gave a little cough, bringing his gaze back to you. He bit his lip, uncertain of how he got to this moment. “Remus. Don’t worry about them. I’m here dancing with you. Sorry my attention drifted, but you have me 100% now. Trust me.” You pressed up to his chest now, trying to reassure him. You felt his heart quicken at the closeness, his arm slipping further around your waist in response. “You know they’re all drooling over you. They always do. But you never seem to respond to it. I mean, you don’t blow anyone off; you’re the most friendly person I’ve ever worked with, but… Why don’t you like any of them? D’you… not your type?” He whispered the last part, not wanting to offend you. You laughed with your whole body then, which shook both of your bodies. Was Remus jealous of the other guys? You wished he could take a hint, but it seemed you would have to spell things out for him.

“I do like guys, Remus, but I don’t like guys like them. The ones who oogle me and don’t actually try to get to know me. Not like… not like you do every day. You always try to catch up with me and see how I’m doing, but it’s never creepy or ill-intentioned. You’re always a real gentleman. Look, you haven’t even tried to feel me up while dancing!” You said this very sincerely, looking deep into his eyes. You couldn’t help laughing at your last statement, and he could only blush down at you in adoration.

“Only if you want me to,” he joked, sucking his lip in as he laughed. You licked your lips, entranced by this other side of Remus that you were tapping into. He was a little more confident, a little more teasing, and more open. You liked both, but it was nice to see him relaxing with you. “Can I… can I be honest with you?” He murmured, looking serious again. You nodded, curious and hopeful of what he wanted to divulge.

“Remus, why don’t you just ask me out on a date, hmm? I’ve been waiting for you to make a move this whole time, but I guess I’m just impatient.” You lifted your chin up, giving him a smoky stare. He blushed, looking down at you incredulously, before breaking into a smile brighter than the string lights shining above your heads. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to your cheek, sending a wave of heat through your body.

“I was hoping I’d get to spend time with you tonight, considering how brief our conversations at the water cooler or the copy machine tend to be. I… don’t usually run into situations like this, but I guess you’re different than other people. You make me feel a little more comfortable in my skin, which is such a confusing experience for me. But a good one…”

“If you’ll have me. And if you’ll forgive me, I don’t kiss on the first date. I’ll have to thank Alice for the support, of course.” He winked, letting his hand slip down just below your waist. You gave him a suggestive glance and then a surprised laugh.

“I should’ve known you’d be smart enough to get a woman as your wingman, Rem. Well hopefully you take me somewhere that’s a little less full of our drunk co-workers… for this second date. And I’ll have my kiss yet.” You leaned up on your tiptoes and pressed one to his chin. He just smiled and gave you a spin as the music swelled into the night.

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Tag List

@supremequeenofthenerds, @wizardwritings, @couragetocontinue, @fudgefight, @lionnottheanimal, @crtreg, @shehassomuchsoul, @formersovietunion, @serenefreakgeek, @bibimagines

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(In an effort to keep the “secret” element of the stories, I will only be linking to each ending in the main post, so check there if you want to read more endings!)

#remus lupin x reader #cubicles #choose your own ending #marauders imagine #harry potter fic #my writing

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