#why cant i be loved and accepted the way i am

[writerfae]

Okay, so now that I'm awake: The mighty Willow dying, am I right?

Let's think about this! First off: Why is it dying, because I personally wouldn't want to give the Willow Court the Alder Court backstory, sooo...

But regardless, it's dying. And Callan has to sacrifice himself

The thing is that the whole court would be devastated, because Callan's a great king plus he's the baby they prayed for the moon goddess to save!

And imagine his friends! Rhys would lose his best friend!

Imagine Amelie!

And, of course: Henry...

I can't decide if Henry would accept Callan's decision or try and keep him from going through with it. I mean in the end he would surely realize that it's the only way to save the court but I could see him having a brief "I'm not letting you do this" panic moment.

And afterwards Henry just cries and cries and holds Callan in his arms. And Aiden would I think try to comfort him the best he can, but...

Another great angst idea:

Same concept but with the royal willow siblings! Because then here's what I think could happen:

All three of them arguing over who gets to sacrifice themselves and I can imagine a heartbreaking scene where:

Celene and Tamlen are arguing, Celene claiming that she should do it because she is the queen and the oldest, Tamlen arguing that that is precisely why she shouldn't do it, and he'll do it instead... and while they're arguing, Nolan sneaks over and does it himself 😭😭😭

Haha do you truly were coming back for this xD

Okay, so hypothetically the Willow could die. All mighty trees can if their spirit or the tree itself get damaged. It doesn’t have to be like with the Alder court.

So this would be the backstory for this scenario.

But like maybe someone who isn’t the king could try to pull a Rook on the Willow (obviously they would fail, but they could damage the Willow enough for it to fall sick) or someone would find a way to like poison it or something.

And I totally see your ideas! Really delicious angst! With Callan doing it cause it has to be done and his friends and family grieving him. Henry especially, obviously. He’d only let Callan do it if it’s the last chance they have, knowing he cant stop his beloved from doing what he put his mind on.

But let me raise you this: Callan sacrificing himself after Henry died. Callan, at this point an old king with grown up kids, grieving the loss of the love of his life.

Him sacrificing himself to the Willow not only cause he’s the king and this is the best and last service he can do for his people (especially his children, the one thing from Henry he still has), a death of far more use for them than one of heartbreak. But also because then he doesn’t have to live without Henry anymore.

I also like the idea to do it with the siblings. I could see them arguing about who will do it, all trying to keep each other safe. Also, I agree that if one of them were to do the sacrifice, Nolan would do it. He’d be best suited.

The poor siblings though. In both scenarios…

[bunnihearted]

🦈2

[mbat]

i fr need some sort of (probably queer) friend into world of warcraft so that the person i directly talk to about it isnt my brother. cause on my life his opinions suck and his gameplay kills me a little inside

[the--days]

so it's like this.

you're young and you're scared and you're trapped in the feywild (happens to the best of us) with the love of your life. You're a half-elf and she's a fullblooded elf but you don't think about it very much because you're barely surviving day to day. And you get offered a deal to get yourself home again, and you take it. And the price of your freedom is that you leave her still trapped there, alone.

And then five years pass. And you age a century in that time, and you grow, and you change, and you find her again, and you're still in love, and you meet people, and you lose people, and you love them too, and you learn, and you start wanting a future again, and caring again, taking care of yourself, taking care of other people--

and after all of that, at the end of things, you find out the man responsible for all of the misery in your short, sad life has cast a spell which gives him complete control and ownership of you- mind, body, and soul (again. this happens to the best of us). And you are given the choice to stay under his thrall, and live a thousand years-- or to age and die, like humans do, and to be free of him.

And the love of your life is there, and you're married now, and she's still a full blooded elf, and you're still a half-elf, and you think about what that means a lot more than you used to.

And still, after everything you've learned-- you choose your freedom. You choose leaving her behind.

[alessandramortt]

cannot believe the thing that finally gets me to romantically ship furymax is, of all things, my issues with furyjack sjdhskdjd so on brand for me tho

[sol1loqu1st]

:/

[applesandbannas747]

Wait, I'm confused... do you like the Fence novels or no? Because your first review sounded positive and happy with the fun humor, and then every other thing I've seen from you about them is most pointing out the (very prominent, very not-good) flaws with them.

fair question! I had a Journey with the Fence novels and it was hellish. First, please keep in mind that I am unhealthily fixated on Fence and that does impact things all along the way.

When Striking Distance was announced, I was as excited as anyone, though wary because Pacat was handing it off to someone else to write. Still, I was hopeful--and more hopeful after reading In Other Lands because, despite the disturbing sexism that squicked me tf out, I really enjoyed that book! And so I was very eager to get my hands on Striking Distance. So I went on an absolute quest to get an ARC...and I did! It took a lot of dead ends and desperate tries, but remember that I'm insane. So I got my hands on an advanced copy by emailing the editor assigned to the book (who has since left the position). And as is custom with ARCs, he asked me to send my review when it went live.

Reading Striking Distance was such an experience dude. I wanted to love it as much as I loved the comics--remember that at this point, we only had up to issue 12 and the characterization therein. I love the OG 12 issues, and they'll always hold more sway in my understanding of the characters, but when reading SD, it was very clear that I'd read the entire comic completely fucking wrong. Remember my unhealthy obsession? Yeah. Trying to come to terms with Fence being something so opposite of everything I really loved about it and the fact that my reading of it was so wrong was really hard--like mental breakdowns level of hard. I wish I was joking. But I tried to force myself to love the reality of Fence anyway, despite kind of hating the novel, which I absolutely would not admit to myself because disliking any part of Fence felt like SUCH a betrayal to it, and I really really really didn't want to hate the characters I'd spent so much time bringing to life in my mind, because selfishly I didn't want to have to divorce my idea of the characters from canon, I just wanted to be able to love the canon characters and add onto them a little the way I'd been able to with the comics up until that point. So especially right after reading Striking Distance, I was insistent on liking it, and even as I slowly started to acknowledge that there were parts of it that made me want to scratch off my skin they made me so uncomfortable (see: the steak scene), I was really hell-bent on understating my dislike/criticism of it.

So when I went to write my review for Striking Distance to send to the really nice editor who sent me the ARC, I didn't want to betray Fence, I hadn't really processed my issues with it (and was--and honestly still am to an extent--worried that I was just being an entitled baby because my stupid fanfictions/interpretations were so fucking wrong), I didn't want to upset or hurt the feelings of the man who did me this HUGE favor, and because I wanted a chance to get an early copy of a possible sequel (because hating the novels didn't lesson my Need for early access to them. i know I'm unwell about fence jdhfa), I pulled out all the nicest thoughts I had about Striking Distance, exaggerated them and stretched them and sugar-coated everything else to provide a review that was nice and non-hostile.

Obviously, the longer I sat with Striking Distance and processed some things about it and about me, the more I started picking apart all the aspects that I hated and found I was able to produce reasons for each piece I disliked and was also able to pinpoint in the OG comics where I got all the pieces of the stories and characters I loved. So I did have to divorce my idea of Fence from canon if I wanted to keep loving Fence. And when I decided to keep loving Fence for all the reasons I used to instead of feel sick looking at/thinking about the franchise and characters, I was sort of free of the things holding me back from speaking about the things I didn't like, and so I started to analyze and essay and post about the novels and my untangled, truthful thoughts about them.

So I don't like the novels--there are maybe 3-4 things total that passed the vibe-check for me in both novels. I never liked the novels, and I lied about liking Striking Distance...but I was lying to myself about that one as much as anyone. And I haven't changed that review because, at the time, that was where my feelings were about it. So up it stays.

Here’s my fun little list of some of the places I've explained my dislike of the novels if you're curious, but yeah these are the real thoughts, the SD review was a carefully crafted lie <3

My full review of Disarmed

Autism representation in Seiji

Seiji in general

Eugene

Eugesse as a concept in Disarmed

Eugesse interactions in Disarmed

Nick's bisexuality

Coach Williams and sexual harassment

[dirt-str1der]

I literally had a dream about reading the worst fan fiction like fucking ever kiryu was just randomly a yandere and nishiki was trying his best to survive also kiryu turned into a dragon (deez nuts) halfway and let nishiki kill him for being a bad boy but he was so upset about having to kill his bro that he just lay in the corpse for a bit and thats when i decided to stop reading and i literally opened tumblr in my dream to complain about how bad it was like the writing went back and forth from being terrible to incredible and i found myself enjoying some parts and despising others. I skipped the first few chapters so i had to tab back out and read the summary like why are they in a beach resort and the summary didnt just tell me nothing but it was also double spaced between each line and very fucking irritating and while reading it i kept thinking this is extremely ooc and boring like they would not fucking say that

[haemosexuality]

these past few days i have been uncharacteristically. emotionally open. w my friend and it has me thinking about how truly for all of my life i just did not expect anything from anyone

[ichigosoju]

🍡

[29121996]

.

[lesbians-all-the-way-down]

My life won't be complete until I name the other lead in the historical fiction I've decided I'm going to write.

[235uranium]

"you wouldn't be disabled if the world was built to accommodate mobility differences!" and here I thought it was being in pain + having a chronic illness that can cause just about every symptom!

[fluffs-n-stuffs]

/vent in tags

but prof sycamore also looked very cute in this pic here and I wanted to share it

eepy french man

[mrfoox]

Me: I think id want to know someone that's mutually obsessed with me... Like I am with them

Oliver: ok... Well then you can meet people, that's very easy!

Me: uh.... Ok

Oliver: yeah I mean your courses, the people there do have the same diagnosis like you so they might think the same way as you?

Me: mmm.... I dont think... I dont know how I think is normal even among people with my diagnose

Oliver: um, okay. Why?

Me: because of how I think of other people... Or other people I like rather

Oliver: yeah, well that's not... Unusual. I mean you want to be around people you like so you obviously think good about them?

Me: mmm, yeah but I don't think... You'd want to know how I think about others

Oliver: why? Now I want to know

Me: no, I don't think you do...

[devotedlystrangewizard]

i think the most fun part about writing is exploiting ur character's flaws to create unique & interesting interpersonal relationships like yes what this character is doing is nearly objectively wrong but to them its just another tuesday. im projecting my parents' issues onto my oc & his kid is what im saying