#why cant i just do that every day and be given enough money to live. the world is so cruel to me </3

[fearforthestorm]

born to spend my days making little crafts for the people I care about, forced to have a job

[strayheartless]

More than a question. Holy shit finally someone talking abt strifehart!!!! Imma follow you TwT

I feel like a fraud😭😅 I would die for strifehart honestly, but I am incredibly guilty of not posing about them as much as I would like. So….

Here have some of my Strifehart headcanons:

They don’t show affection very freely around other people but if they fall asleep together on the Couch everyone is always surprised to find out that Squall is the clingy one.

They are both guilty of dad-ing Sora. Squall will hand him money, his keyblade and some extra potions and snacks before he heads out the door; while Cloud will zip up his hoodie, check his gear and do the whole “if you need us you call, Kay?” Sora’s given up trying to point out that they are not his Dads.

They rib each-other endlessly, smirking the entire time. Things like, “gods Squall, why are you so useless?”, “dunno, must have caught it from you!” It always has people asking how they can be a couple.

The loving bullying doesn’t stop when their alone, it’s just more tactile. Poking, hip checking, raspberries, tickle fights, picking the other up and bodily moving them when their in the way, flicking the others nose, aggravated biting, hitting each other with magazines and newspapers when the other isn’t paying attention, play fights. They are like actual children but no one ever sees it cause they like it to just be for them.

They steal each others food all the time. Which is funny because they are both quite territorial about food by nature. This usually ends up in one of them grabbing the others hand and forcibly trying to wrestle the food out of it; or playing keep away with their plates.

They work with eachother silently and like they’ve done it all their lives. They always seem to know where the other is and move accordingly to being in each others space.

Cloud is the only ONLY other person aside from Sora who is aloud to be left alone with Tron. Squall would chew off his own leg before giving DiZ the passwords and while he likes Ienzo he’s still not really sure he trusts him.

They communicate through raised eyebrows alone. And always know what the others thinking.

Cloud has had to physically retrain Squall from beating the shit out of Siefer the first time they went to Twilight town and found out this GROWN ASS ADULT had been bullying kids. (I know canonically Seifer is supposed to be a little older than Hayner pence and Olette but I vibe more with the darkness took Gaia and the planet headcanon than the “everyones from radiant gardens” canon.)

Squall is naturally left handed but was forced to write right handed in in SeeD and so Cloud keeps taking the pen out of his right hand and butting it in Squall’s actual dominant hand.

Cloud carries all his stress in his shoulders and hands (you know exactly where this one’s going.) and Squall is usually the one massaging out the tension and …. Kin- pfft🤣 I’m sorry I cant!

Cloud knows every one of Squalls buttons and how to push them. He can be irritating when it suits him and sometimes he gets bored enough to provoke his partner. Squall usually ignores him which is a mistake because it makes Cloud push harder until he ends up in a headlock.

Squall will never EVER Admit that he gets seriously grouchy when Clouds away. Like it’s adorable but Aerith wants to strangle him most days when he’s skulking about like a lion with a sore tail. It’s incredibly amusing to watch his head snap up when he hears Fenrir pull up outside of Merlin’s.

[zhuhongs]

hhhhh so im on a ridiculously long ride home and just my phone so tumblr diary entry time lol. if you have my instagram this will make more sense but yk. anyways. so yesterday was the last day of the semester and i was tbh pretty normal abt it. but leading up to it i was a mess and tbh i think my stomach issues actually came more from the stress of knowing im leaving but the alcohol seemed plausible enough an explanation so i ran with it. but nah i was just. hhhh overwhelmed. bc anytime i was out with ppl it disappeared and as soon i was alone and not busy i was like. oh theres the stomach pain. LOL. but yea. so i decided my going away present to everyone would be a drawing of them plus a message bc like. i always said i liked art but never rlly showed my classmates my art so i was like. welp lets go out with a bang. and it felt good bc i really wanted to do smth like this sooner. my initial plan to make a good impression was to print stickers of my art and put my IG on it and get close to ppl that way. but i was just far too stressed and thought itd be weird. so i just. Didnt. and i regret not putting in enough effort at the beginning. but i also feel like its okay, especially given my upbringing. i needed that time to myself to figure it out, and now i really know that i can just. talk to ppl. and not be afraid. bc the ppl i got closest to were the one i swore would judge me most bc of my own preconceived notions, but i told the the parts of me i hid the most and they accepted it. and could at least sympathize and actually relate and i just. why was i so silly. why was i so mean to myself to be convinced that i was so unacceptable that no one except for those who already knew me could accept me and enjoy my presence? i was so silly. i wont do that again, but if i do, it will still be easier than doing it this time bc I'll recognize the patterns and quickly snap out of it.

in a way, i really do feel like i needed all this time alone to process myself and rlly look myself in the eye and recognize the ways ive lived that i can just stop doing now that i have the freedom to be free of my past. and part of me feels like I'm saying that as copium bc i didnt connect sooner and i possibly could have also had a better time with others and still have come to realize the same things and more through the help and company of others. but i also know that i cant live life always thinking so much. so i just need to live and let the regrets be what they are, and move forwards. but the regrets do indeed linger. like i made the decision not to stay in taiwan. bc of well A. money and B. i felt like if i had more time I'd just fucking waste it like i wasted the first 4 months. i might as well force myself into a corner and see if that would make me do things i was too scared to do otherwise. and like, it worked! i did say fuck it and rlly just let loose bc i was gonna leave but now its worked too well. and like i wish soooo bad that i had those 3 months to fully enjoy every chance working out. Part of me says that its best to leave with that hope. rather than have taken that chance and it fizzled out. the thing keeping me from extending the most was honestly knowing I'd have my birthday there. and i could not take the possibility of spending my birthday alone... i legit couldnt stomach it. in the past i used to spend every bday alone but in recent years ive had a mazing friends that actually made my bday special and i just. I'm so used to having that day be nice that i really couldnt take the possibility of it being awkward. but now i realize that it wouldn't have been like that. it couldve been wonderful. but thats okay, in another life. or maybe a few years. who knows. im considering doing smth like this again in like 2 years after I've worked a bit. i have nothing but time. but man. sometimes i just wonder yk.

and last night i had a rlly good one on one talk with my classmate and that was amazing, but i got home and checked IG like a dumbass and say another group of classmates partying til 3am and i was like.... man i should've done that. but like, logically no. i had a great night regardless and i partied with those classmates last week. ive had my fill, and i had things to do today that i needed to be coherent for. but i couldn't help but thinking what if. and i know its not so easy to kill that voice inside my head. its always gonna be there. its not just me, thats the devil of SNS like instagram. bc you see the best parts of everyone's lives at all times and feel like you're missing out but you're not. you only see a sliver of what it really was..but yea. its okay. I'm still so very young. and i just need to treasure now and take whatever chances i get to nourish the connections i have right now and put yourself out there to make new ones when the chances arise. its okay, there is not life that can be lived without saying goodbye. but damn, yesterday at the school gates two of my classmates hit me with the さよなら and that. man i felt it in that moment. theres so much i wish i couldve said in all that time we had to spend together but i just held my tongue bc i was scared. but this was really playing social interaction on hard mode, like the cultural differences, the language barrier, the introversion, the fact it was my first time on my own fr, just, there were soooo many factors working against me specifically. and fuck man, i still did it. and i am still so young, i really can do whatever i want. it feels so weird. ive only been here 6 months but in a way it feels like this is how its always been. like the fact that im going home feels so strange. like i havent been there in years, i honestly cant fully grasp that im gonna be in a place where i speak the language fluently and am fully aware and familiar with my surroundings. like, why does that feel so odd. it does, i legit dont even know how to feel besides strange. i just have a strange pit in my stomach. but its okay. it will pass as everything does. but these days will always live on inside me as everything does. even if i can't fully recall it. so i just have to keep going as always. god. life is trippy man. but yea. Yea. thats it. i think

[blazehedgehog]

Why is it that you considered nintendo trying to be the apple of gaming? I feel like, especially if taking sony into account, it's rather opposite of it in most of the case. Like a horizontal opposite of a horse shoe. Granted, as far as I know, the simliarity between nintendo and apple is extreme protectiveness over their IP and loathes the modification of their product. As a platform, based on recent development, they cant be more different. Nintendo product thrive on being weak but affordable console to most, and has since loosen control on third party content, while Playstation and apple thrive on being luxury powerful high end product on the market , and their policy for third party cobtent seem to have gotten more strict recently. I heard that sony forced Japanese developer make their game closer to western sensibility, even the one meant to be published in japan.

Nintendo thrive on being what people might wants, while apple thrive on being best in the market

That said, my knowledge on this is pretty limited and could be wrong, so I would like to know your perspective on this and feel free to correct me if I am wrong about anything.

It was because at the start of the Switch, Nintendo was overcharging the hell out of it. To some degree, they still are. When you consider the capabilities of the hardware, it's roughly (not directly, but roughly) equivalent to, like, an Xbox 360 or a Playstation 3. Hardware from 2005, in other words. Again, I know it's not a direct 1:1 comparison, because it's more about memory speeds and bus bandwidth. In some places the Switch is better than a 360, and in others it's worse. But still. Roughly equivalent.

For, like, $300? That's a lot of money. It leans really hard on that portability aspect. Being able to throw it in a carrying case and easily take it with you. Slot it in to any Switch dock and throw it up on a TV. I'm doing that right now, given I am writing this on the last couple days of pet sitting for my cousin. They have a Switch, but they take it with them on vacation, so I'm just using my Switch in their dock to play Tears of the Kingdom.

There was also rumors that Nintendo was going to roll out updated hardware more like a mobile phone; what I had heard was they wanted a marginal upgrade out every 2-3 years. And true enough, rumors of the so-called "Switch Pro" have persisted since at least 2018 or 2019. But since the Switch itself was selling so insanely well, supposedly Nintendo got cold feet and didn't want to mess up a good thing by rushing replacement hardware out. Now, they've stalled so long that they're leaving a lot of developers with Switch Pro dev kits out to dry.

Software is, and to some degree continues to be, very expensive. Ignoring the fact that Zelda's $70, even at launch, you had Capcom putting out a version of Street Fighter 2 HD for $60, when on Xbox Live Arcade, they charged $15 for more or less the same experience. A lot of early games were plagued by the so-called "Switch Tax."

But you're right insofar as Sony has totally stolen that crown with the Playstation 5, right down to the crushing ego and everything.

That is the number one reason I don't really want a Playstation 5. I mean, I've entered giveaways for one, I wouldn't say no if it dropped into my lap, but Sony is going after the "status symbol" market. It's very gross. I don't care how many PS4 games I have, how much of my library is tied up in PS+ freebies, I will drop the Playstation brand for another Xbox as soon as I can afford to.

[mockingbirdshymn]

headcanons for the adult camp camp characters part 1 nerriston/performance trio because i love them with all of my heart ever

preston ends up working at a local theatre as the primary director there!! the theatre's actors usually consist of high school students and the theatre ends up hosting a lot of larger high school or college plays, and preston has pressured quite a few colleges into doing some of his favorite plays. the happiest hes ever been was when he got to direct a heathers play. he literally came home and shoved the script in harrison and nerris' faces out of excitement.

harrison works as a magician at the same theatre. he did a few shows in other theatres, a few times in vegas. he wants to become a famous magician, (as preston does a famous actor), but likes his life where it is right now and wouldnt want to be moving all of the time for shows. plus, hes terrified of being seen as a freak of some sort of ridiculed. he does bigger shows every so often, dont think he doesnt, but he mainly does shows in his city.

nerris' job is in marketing. she hates it a lot but performance doesnt bring as much money in as theyd like so they have to put in effort. theyre honestly happy with it because while the job itself sucks, she likes seeing harrison and preston be able to do their own crafts.

nerris did not want a dog. preston and harrison found a dog being given away in a walmart parking lot. and thus, nerris woke up to a dog in their home. harrison named him mantacore after the roy and siegfried's tiger yk the one. he is a samoyed. he sleeps on the bed with them.

they dont have kids ever mostly because i really dont like kids im sorry but i feel as though preston would see a child and go "ew" and nerris is the only one with actually good parents so 2/3 of the kids parents would just not know what to do. soooo no kids

nerris binds but never gets top surgery!! this is mostly because some days they dont really get dysphoria, and they still like appearing feminine from time to time (though neutral is definitely their style like 75% of the time). this headcanon is made by me, someone who binds but does not want to get top surgery, half projecting onto nerris

harrison does not drink, preston sometimes does, nerris does. this doesnt rlly have a followup headcanon but i can only imagine harrison's introverted ass staring down at a cup of orange juice while at a party and then driving everyone else home

there are three bookshelves in the living room. you can tell whos is whos because one is filled with percy jackson and narnia and other fantasy books, another has every script to every play in existence ever as well as analysis books of creative theatre, and one has like four magic related books and mostly stores props. not to say harrison doesnt read, but he mostly steals from nerris' shelf when he wants to read.

every summer, the performance trio (along with the other adult campers) hangs out at camp campbell. the camp shut down after the kids all became adults, mostly because nobody wanted to send their kids to a camp known for being a money laundering scheme, housing a known criminal (cameron campbell), overall a big scam, and because the amount of fbi helicopters flying to the camp was enough to drive everyone else away. it was a miracle the campers were allowed to come back there the following summers.

as adults, the campers are all relatively good friends. dolph moved to germany, but he visits whenever he can, and neil is gone a lot doing research projects in different countries, but the campers still live relatively close together and hang out a lot. i cant see a universe where they stop talking after camp

in honor of the camp, and also because yellow grew on them after a while, yellow is still a color most of the campers wear pretty often, except for max, dolph, and space kid.

harrison is still scared of quartermaster. how is he not dead yet. it has been a decade. he looked old when david was a kid. why is he still here. what the fuck was up with that space octopus. what does he know.

i like to think at least once quartermaster showed up at the nerriston house, poked his hook at harrison and said "come with me" and harrison Just Did. he came back a day later looking absolutely disturbed. he probably saw a demon or something, knowing quartermaster.

[pridefulrose]

I just want to kind of document how I am feeling with what is happening right now. I remember back in the day when there was this article about how Bezos did not know what to do with all the money he had so he decided to invest in spaceships and space travel not for the bettering of humanity but because he wanted an exclusive trip around the world that not many people could pay. I remember the delusional declarations of Elon Musk saying that we will be able to live on Mars one day. I thought to myself but why? Earth is comfortable and rich and perfect for us. I still remember that he had so much money he said he could give money to the ONU if they could prove to him that world hunger could be eradicated with some of his money and the ONU gave him the exact number to do so and he retracted his statement only for a few months later buy twitter for 4 or more times the amount required to end poverty around the world.

I remember when COVID happened and the people around the world were dying by the thousands but somehow we didn’t have enough money, resources,nurses, doctors or even masks to combat the epidemic. I remember how the growing number of people were by the thousands and how these numbers were considered inaccurate.

I am in University now and people keep complaining about the cuts in programs and budget for students. They were decimating entire faculties because there was not enough money. They barely made any effort to tell the students what were the programs available and then proceeded to tell us the reason why they were taking away these programs were because nobody used them.

I remember that when I was a preteen my father bought me a laptop that lasted my entire high school career until I was in my first university year and this computer lasted me until the second year. That computer was $400 and it was given to a preteen that did not know how to handle carefully a computer and it still lasted YEARS before it died.

I talk to students around my age struggling to buy food, to pay rent. They are exhausted and surviving with caffeine because they cant afford to sleep. A girl told me she was vegetarian and proceeded to tell me that the reason why she was one was because she could not afford to buy meat and she tried to laugh it off. I did not know how to answer so I nodded and I remained quiet. I couldn’t even say anything because what comfort could I give her when we even my refrigerator seems emptier than before.

The students outside of my province and insidemy province got another increment in their tuition this year and every single one of us have thousand of dollars debt.

I remember my mother telling me that a mansion near our house was sold for 350,000$ now you can only buy a small house with two or three room with that price. The dream of having a house of their own has evaporated for thousands of people especially in places like Vancouver and Toronto and New York.

I had to go to the ER the other day and it had always been slow but I have never been so slow for me to wait 16 hours to see a doctor and then another 6 hours to get my exams. I was so tired it took me a week to recuperate.

And now now I see that there is money, actually way too much money but not for us, never for us. Not for my beautiful Canadians, not for the middle class or the lower classes, but there is always money to save the multimillion companies.

Canadians are struggling to buy food because a billionaire decided to squeeze every penny from them and he smugly declared that if someone tried to do anything he would just squeeze Canadians until they are gasping for air.

There were record sales for millionaire companies but the average person can barely eat three meals.

But there is always money for those who want to kill and destroy. There is always money for terror and bloodshed of people that we don’t even know. What was their greatest sin? Be the stepping stone between the interest of those who want to be ultra rich and richer and the land, resources or power they want.

I don’t need several laptops in10 years, i don’t need a new phone every year. At this point in the fight to survive climate change we don’t even need more oil.

Scientific discoveries don’t excite me anymore. They make me fearful and make me feel dread. The “cute” robots we were dreaming about once upon a time when we were kids are only being conceived to be used for maiming and killing and to automatize death. When people presented us with AI they made it look fun and trendy like it was this new toy we would all enjoy somehow, in the end it jeopardized the entire arts field and even worse it was used to practically in front of our eyes be one of the most helpful tools to accelerate the death of thousand of innocent people.

When I read the hunger games for the first time it was just a novel and now I wonder if I am not actually living in a dystopian reality myself.

[wintersoldierbmb]

the part of my will i feel like writing

december 30 2022

3am

cant even remember the last time i logged into this page

i haven’t wrote down a single one of my problems. i have been using my old ways to cope with the pain i have been enduring  for the last few months - drugs, alcohol, & self-harm

something in me is so hurt now than it ever has been before. every single day is the same cycle of crying, cutting, getting high, drinking until it hurts to even smell the bottle... 

i have never felt so worthless in my entire life. i feel like a dirty rag, wringed and set out to dry.

my friends don’t love me anymore and i always feel alone. i smoke every day just to distract myself from how unappreciated i feel. i get drunk and cry my tears, sobbing silently for hours, to eventually fall asleep to wake up and do the same thing over again. i deserve this suffering, and i know that this is my own fault for trying to fit myself in places where i don’t belong. all i ever wanted to do was be good, but i make mistakes and bad choices that set me back more every time. i bully, neglect, and abuse myself every day in order to remember what problems i have that need to be fixed, but i can never fix them. i feel pitiful for being a grown ass man having to come and humiliate myself on here just to stop from putting myself in danger.

my birthday was the 23rd. i turned 19 (too old to be in this position) and it was the first birthday in years that i didn’t cry(i cried the next day). my feelings have been so hurt since. i miss my mama very much and it’s hard to call her without breaking down. i feel so bad for ruining my parents’ lives. i miss my grandparents very much and i hate that i can never feel the same around them because of what a terrible son i am.

i hate that my mother has to bear the cross that is having me as her child. i pray every day that my life is taken from me so that my family and “friends” can have some relief that i am gone. i don’t matter enough to anyone to where me going missing would bring them some great fortune, but i know for a fact that everyone who has had a part in taking care of me will experience some relief followed by my death. i really have no way to put this without making it sound as selfish as it does, so if it does sound selfish, so be it. all i know to do at the moment is write my truth so i can at least say i talked about it. this is the type of depression that is hard to understand, so i could care less about judgement, or what my depression “sounds like”.

i’m too much of a coward to fully commit suicide. it takes too long to prepare for, it hurts, and it’s scary. not to mention its a one-way pass to hell. that’s why i haven’t killed myself. so instead, i’m going to work my way around it. the drugs and alcohol are keeping me on a slow and steady decline, and one of these days a little will end up being too much and i’ll overdose and die. this is all i want at the moment. when i die, i want everything that i own to be given to my mother directly. i don’t care what happens to my things or my money as long as my family gets it. when i die, tell my best friends Keith and Jackson that i love them very much, and i’m sorry i wasn’t a better friend to them. if you two ever get the chance to read this personally, i just want you both to know you guys meant everything to me the whole time, even if i don’t mean anything to y’all. when i die, tell my siblings to be the opposite of me. don’t be a failure, like your brother is. don’t fall into addiction in any form, and don’t let THINGS control your life or how you feel about it. don’t let STUFF tell you how much you are valued, because stuff means nothing compared to your heart. i love you all very much, all my sisters and both of my brothers. as for the rest of my family, i love you all more than words can say, and i hope you all know that whatever happens to me after tonight was already supposed to happen. if i do anything to myself at all just know i am doing it for the best. i don’t want anyone to feel sad about my passing. please don’t have a funeral procession for me, i just want to be forgotten forever. i know how unrealistic that sounds, but whatever. i don’t know if this is going to be the last thing i ever say to anyone, so i am writing my all down on this post. Lord knows i want to die more than anything right now.

ultimately i just want to die to be in heaven with my Lord. i am very faithful to my relationship with God and i know that i don’t deserve any of the fruits of living freely on earth. i have disappointed God and i make Him angrier at me every day. i have disappointed all of my friends and family, and i’ve made a fool of myself my entire life just trying to be normal. today i accept my problems and i only plan on handling them by any means necessary.

i am not going to end my life tonight, or tomorrow. i don’t know whether i will or i won’t. assuming anyone cares about what happens to me, i don’t want anyone to feel bad or think that my safety is at risk. i am fine. i am only doing what i know to do, and i apologize.

[illicithurricane]

Sorry for the rant but I've been keeping it til now.

The Sims team could have made TheSims4 an AMAZING game, worth its price and better than its predecessors. Get to Work introduced us to Aliens and playable careers but why the heck NOT to sickness? Sure, we have llama flu or whatever it's called but why not a more complex dive into chicken pot or disease that will lead to our sims passing if we dont take care of them? Why not broken bones or migraines? Why not allergies and ACTUAL disabilities, which is something I feel like it's not represented AT ALL and there are so many people who have disabilities. So they are not marketable enough to be represented? They are not as important (if not even more) than the lgbtq community which is getting all the attention possible without putting any effort cause... sorry if you dont wanna hear it but we are not in the 60s anymore, all people of any race, sexual-orientation, etc etc gets bullied and picked on. Get over it. It could have been added even with Nifty Knitting: elders in wheelchairs. But no. Again, why? Cause these people are not marketable enough? Blind sims, deaf sims, a game with actual depth, no? Okay. GG TheSims team. Dine out is still broken. I literally cannot have a restaurant because even if I go to the location and play it out, costumers are a pain in the ass, they dont sit down, when they sit down they get up, the staff is glitchy-- and when I open it from my Sim's house, it just tells me "the restaurant is losing money" every single day... so what is the point? StangerVille, Old Wild West theme = no horses. Cottage Living = no horses. Laundry Day, we literally have ONE washing machine and ONE dryer. AND THE PACK RELIES ON LAUNDRY which is also annoying and poorly made cause they could have given us "wearablity": your sim can wear a specific outfit number of times and THEN it gets dirty and smelly and it gets put into the hamper. Every time my sim changes (which is multiple times a day, without any reason at all) the hamper fills. Every day I have to do laundry which is not that realistic. Also, took too much to make a "wear SLEEPWEAR /EVERYDAY when at home" preference? Cause I dunno if it bothers people but my sim staying into work clothes when comes back home is a bit... annoying. Werewolves are basically furries (no tail, really!?) when they should have been scary (like the ones in the mod..................... again, a mod that is better than the actual game?? WOW) and the storyline, the abilities, the werewolf itself is meaningless, it's empty, is just there without a purpose. No zodiac signs, no "bad" traits or simply not enough to make a difference. We have loner but it's not like having a shy person. We have kleptomaniac but we have limits on the trait. We have squeamish but it triggers only when Sims are doing dishes or cleaning... which is a very superficial view on the trait. No baby strolls cause babies are objects, you cannot even get away from the crib cause you cant interact with it outside that space (but why am I complaining, toddlers came years after the release of the base game, like pools.................) All these things can be achieved with mods. A game that costs 1000 euros ca SHOULDNT NEED MODS, especially to be fun and playable. Pandasama released a realistic childbirth mod, which it has nothing weird showing if you dont have WW but that is the only way I want to play "giving birth" from now on. It's a more serious mod, which it could have been in the game already cause if The Sims team can add sexual preference and pronouns (the last one, to me, is BS to the limit in a game like TheSims but... LGBTQ PEOPLE ARE MARKETABLE YEEEE) there could have been also a better childbirth experience with Get to Work. I could literally go on for days about The Sims not being a good game, way too overpriced and marketed towards a specific generation and who cares about others. Still no different heights or heights slider. In a game that is 8 years old. Only now we have body hair when modders added it years ago... but keep cheering The Sims team for pronouns, yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee... stupidsheeps.

[lunnybunny12]

Sandor Clegane x reader (Reason 1)

Requests are open 

Warnings: Death, Murder, hanging, swearing and prostitution 

Word count: 1230

Part 2 (Reason 2)

Part 3 (Reason 3)

Part 4 (Reason 4)

Master list

A daughter of a whore, raised by nuns, became a thief, ran away to Braavos and was trained as an assassin. That just about summed you up.

You had fought your whole life to get to where you were, to prove you were worthy enough to be apart of a world filled with shitty people. Despite all of that, you still found yourself  laughing at the situation you found yourself in.

"(Y/n) fucking Hill"

Your head shot up at hearing that name. You hadn't gone my Hill since you went to Braavos.

"Ah, so you know our little sparrow do ya Clegane?" Thoros said nudging your side as he sat beside you.  When he saw the look you gave to the former guard he dropped his joking demeanour. 

"The Fuck you doing here?"

Sandor stared at you for a moment before turning to the 3 men behind you. The men were stood on 3 small barrels, hands tied behind their backs and a rope around their necks.

"Chasing them. You?"

"Hanging them" Berec retorted.

"They're our men. Or they were. They attacked a nearby septor and murdered the villagers, why do you want them?" Thoros asked.

"Same reason. I was helping build it. They killed a friend of mine."

"You have friends?"

"Not any more" Sandor said, his eyes darted to you for a second before walking up to your group "They're mine."

"It's the brotherhoods good name they've dragged through the dirt-"

"Fuck your name. They're mine," Sandor said through gritted teeth. " I've killed you once before Beric and I'm happy to do it again."

At the corner of your eye, you saw another one of your group stretch his bowstring and aim an arrow at him.

"Drop the arrow," You said clearly so that everyone could hear and stepped closer to him.

 "He's not going to hurt US... you can have one of them."

The look you got wasn't one of surprise or shock. He was thinking. The other men around you weren't surprised at your boldness, you'd been with them for years and had quickly earnt the respect you were given.

"... Two" Sandor said looking at you.

After a moment of silent deliberation, you nodded to him in agreement.

Just as Sandor was about to plant his axe in one of the traitors heads, Thoros stopped him.

"We're not butchers..."

"Speak for yourselves" you mumbled under your breath with a smile.

"... We hang them"

With an annoyed look, Sandor replied "Hanging? All over in an instant. Wheres the punishment in that?"

"They die-"

"Thay all bloody die. Except for that one" Sandor said motioning to the one-eyed man behind him. " I'll only gutt one of em"

By this point, you had taken a few steps away to get a better view of the scene. The men that were about to die were part of your group once but their twisted sense of right and wrong had lead them to do awful things. They deserved what they were about to get and thankfully others thought the same.

"No" Beric said.

"Chop off one hand?"

"We gave you 2 of the 3 out of the respect of your loss. That's generous."

With a sigh, Sandor dropped his axe " You're all a bunch of Nancies... There was a time I would've killed all 8 of you just to gutt these 3."

"You're getting old Clegane" you chuffed

Suddenly, Sandor kicked the barrel out from under one of the man's feet, sending him falling a short distance to his slow death.

"He's not" Sandor said doing the same to another of the man.

That's when you moved to stand in front of the last man. His eyes wide with fear. You'd admit that you enjoyed watching the fear grow as you let kicked away his barrel too.

When you got back to camp, Beric told Sandor that he was born a fighter and no matter where he went a fight would always find him. How everything happens for a reason Bla bla bla.  It was true that Sandor was a fighter, he had gutted his first man when he was 12 years old and didn't regret it, but that didn't make him a fighter. What made him a fighter was how he continued to live his life and grow stranger with every passing day and by the way he looked he had continued to do so. Beric also said that Sandor would be useful in the brotherhood. How it needed strong men to help is win the upcoming war and how he could help more people he's hurt.

You saw something change in him at that moment. It could have been how he sat or the look in his eye, you weren't sure... but something did change.

That night when everyone was supposed to be asleep, you stayed awake to keep the fire lit. While stoking the flames, thoughts swam around your head like a fish in a shallow pond. The flames shone like a beacon in the pitch-black forest. The occasional snore and animal sounds echoed off of the trees. The stars above were the only thing for the company.

At the corner of your eye, you saw someone lumbering their way towards you. You weren't scared, you knew he wouldn't hurt you.

"Cant sleep Clegane?"

"Not with all these cunts snoring like dying pigs"

"It good to see you haven't changed" You said, eyes gazing into the fire. 

"and there's no point in trying to save face, I know you're still angry with me,"

"And for good fucking reason. You kissed me took the gold and pissed off to Braavos the first chance you got." he quietly seethed. when he put it like that it did sound like an awful thing to do.

With a sighed "Sandor, what am I?"

"I'm not playing guessing games (Y/n)"

"What am I? I'm a bastard, born to a whore and gods know who. No money, no parents, hell not even a name. From the moment I was born, I had to fight for myself because no one else would. I pissed off because after your father died and that brother of yours became the lord, you became the princes bitch in the red keep. There was nothing for me in Westeros, so I left,"

"And what of that kiss then ey? You left that out of your little rant" he said cockily.

You looked at him without a speck of fear in your eyes. His whole life he had never met anyone who looked at him like that and it rendered him speechless.

"That kiss was the only thing of worth I could've given you to remember my by. I knew full well that if I died you'd be the only one in Westeros to remember me ... we were friends once Clegane and you couldn't even tell me you were leaving so I did it first." You said taking a deep swig of ale from a pouch on your hip and then passing it to him.

"Was that the only reason?" He asked taking the pouch from you.

"No. but its the only one I'm brave enough to admit to right now" You joked earning a smile from the man.

[seijorhi]

How about a lil overhaul? Maybe his s/o is just someone from america on a trip and cant speak japanese. But he is like. Mine. She was quirkless and was coming to visit Japan to see a family member. Maybe that family member sold her to overhaul to pay off a debt? She is just so confused and cant understand most of the people here, she wants to go back to America.

So I kinda went a little off track with this request, but I hope you like it!

Overhaul x Reader

TW kidnapping, murder, minor blood/gore

Collateral

It’s a bit of a surprise the day that you get your ticket in the mail. You’ve never been particularly close with your uncle. It’s not that you don’t like him or anything, it’s just… you don’t really know him. He’s lived on the other side of the Pacific Ocean since long before you were born, and you’ve only met him face to face a handful of times. 

And now he wants you - just you - to come stay with him for a little while. As long as you want, the return ticket’s flexible, the email says.

Your family’s just as flummoxed as you, he and your dad have never exactly been close - something about a big fallout when they were younger, but he’s the one to convince you to go. 

“Your uncle hasn’t exactly had the easiest life, sweetheart. He’s all alone over there, has been for a long, long time and he’s made a lot of bad decisions in the past but… you’re his only niece,” he sighs, cupping your cheek with a sad smile. “Maybe he wants a fresh start, to build a relationship with you - he’s missed so much of your life.”

It’s not so much his words that get to you, but the wistful look in his eyes as he says them. Your heart aches for him, for them both, and you find yourself nodding along.

A trip to Japan sounds nice. 

Getting to know your uncle sounds even nicer.

A week later, you’re on the plane flying over the Pacific, the nerves in your stomach growing with each mile that passes beneath you. 

It’ll be fine, you reason, smoothing the non-existent wrinkles from your skirt as the plane starts its descent into Tokyo. Things might be a little awkward at first, but your uncle wouldn’t have invited you if he didn’t want to make a genuine effort, and your parents were only a phone call away if anything went wrong. 

Not that anything would. He’s family - that means something.

“If it gets too much, you can always come home,” your dad had whispered as you bid him farewell at the gate. 

But when you get off the plane, grab your luggage and make your way out through the gate, there’s no sign of your uncle standing in the crowd. You frown, scanning the arrivals hall again - he called your parents yesterday to tell them he’d be picking you up from the airport.

A flutter of uneasiness teases at your gut, but you force yourself to keep the smile on your face as you continue to scour the throng of waiting friends and family. You did land a little ahead of schedule, and getting through customs had taken less time than you thought, maybe he was just running late, or trying to find a park. Your uncle had given you a phone number to call if anything went wrong but… you don’t want to come across as panicky. It’s only been a few minutes, after all.

You’re so focused on trying to find him that you almost miss the crisply dressed driver holding a sign with your name just by the sliding doors. He doesn’t say anything when you approach cautiously, eyes still darting around like you’re expecting to see your uncle behind him. He doesn’t look like what you expected - not that you were expecting a driver at all - but the clearly expensive black suit and blank stare as he regards you are a little… off putting, to say the least. From your understanding your uncle wasn’t exactly made of money, so why send a driver at all?

“Um, hi… I’m Y/N, did my uncle send you? I-is he not coming?” you say, praying that the man understands English and you’re not making an idiot out of yourself.

The driver nods sharply, “He was unable to collect you himself.”

Oh. 

Your smile falters just a touch, but you find yourself nodding out of politeness. It’s fine. You have all the time in the world to spend with your uncle. “Oh, alright. Um-”

The driver grabs the suitcase from your side before you can stop him, turning abruptly on his heel and walking away, leaving you to rush after him, cheeks dusting pink.

Except the driver doesn’t take you to the small apartment on the outskirts of the city your uncle had told you about. 

***

You’ve never been more terrified in your life. 

It’s been a week, you think - it’s hard to tell when the room they keep you in doesn’t have any windows and the food they deliver doesn’t come at regular intervals.

A week since the driver pulled you shaking from the back seat of the black and manhandled you inside a dark warehouse. A week since you met him.

You still don’t know his name. 

He’s the boss - you’ve figured that much out at least. He was the one whose feet you were tossed at when you arrived - shaking, crying and pleading.

You can still remember the chill that crept up your spine as those impassive gold eyes stared at you, his mouth hidden behind that ridiculous plague mask. Sitting on an old, worn leather couch, dressed in all black save for the grey tie around his neck and the white surgical gloves on his hands, what startled you the most (aside from the mask) was how young he was - he couldn’t have been more than a year or so older than you at the most, and yet every single person in the warehouse was staring at him with the utmost respect.

He’d ignored your tears and the trembling questions that had fallen from your lips as he’d stood and walked a slow circle around you, eyes running you up and down like a vulture eyeing off its prey. He hadn’t touched you, only gesturing once for his subordinates to wrestle you back up into a standing position before he finished his apparent appraisal. 

When he’d spoken it was an order barked coldly in Japanese, but his eyes had flickered back to you as hands had gripped your arms, and in the split second before you were tugged from the room, you could have sworn that there was the faintest hint of dark pleasure shining through.

He’s come to visit you a few times since. He always keeps his distance, sitting on the sole chair in your sterile room as you huddled up on the bed like a frightened kitten, putting as much space between the two of you as possible. 

He seems to enjoy that; your fear. 

It’s the second time he comes to visit that he starts to talk to you - not in English, no, despite you making it abundantly clear you had absolutely no understanding of the language beyond a few conversational phrases, he only ever speaks Japanese.

He seems to enjoy that too - the blank, nervous look in your eyes whenever he starts to speak with you. His tone could be considered light and friendly, conversational almost, if not for the cruel edge to his words that transcends the language barrier - with every word he’s mocking you, and he wants you to know it.

The first time you leave your sterile room it’s when two of his masked entourage come to take you up into what looks like a surgical suite. There’s a man strapped to a gurney under a bright operating light sobbing, thrashing fruitlessly against his binds and immediately there’s a wave of dread that floods your stomach. The two men who took you hold you firmly in place by your shoulders, but you can’t help but jump a little when that familiar voice starts to speak.

He comes out of the shadows, golden eyes fixed solely on you. It’s a speech of some sort, though whether it’s for your benefit, his followers’ or the now screaming man’s before him you honestly don’t know. Sweat builds at your temple as the masked leader lifts his hands and slowly tugs off the white surgical gloves.

You don’t know what’s about to happen, only that you desperately want to stop it. One of the men behind you chuckles and you bite your lip to stifle a cry - there’s no point, you can’t move, you can’t escape this - whatever it is that’s about to happen.

The screams reach fever pitch, the man thrashing hard enough to make the gurney shake, but it doesn’t seem to make a difference. Your heart skips a beat as the auburn haired leader stares dispassionately down at him and with a sigh - places his bare palm against his flesh.

The result is instantaneous. 

The scream cuts off. Blood splatters over the walls, over you, as the man is simply, brutally, torn apart by the Quirk.

And all the while, the monster simply watches you.

You understand him perfectly this time. It’s a demonstration, a reminder of why one so young sits at the head of an illicit organisation and what exactly the punishment might be should you fail to remember that.

They take you for a shower afterwards, and you’ve never been more grateful for it. You scrub at your skin until it's raw, desperately trying to wash the taint of blood from your skin. It doesn’t seem to make a difference, it stays with you every time you close your eyes.

You cry yourself to sleep that night, clutching tightly at the thin, blanket you’d been given and thinking desperately of home and your family.

He’s sitting in the same plastic chair when you wake up, except this time it’s been pulled up right beside the bed. He regards you silently for a moment, watching as your eyes widen and fear slowly creeps across your features, but you don’t flinch, you don’t try and scamper away. You only pull the blanket up slightly, as if to protect what last vestiges of modesty you have from him.

“Do you know why you’re here?” he asks in flawless English.

You jerk back in surprise. He-

What?!

Of course he speaks English. Of course his continued insistence on speaking a language you didn’t understand was nothing more than a ploy to make you feel vulnerable and inferior. 

Utterly isolated.

A spark of anger flashes through you, but you quickly tamp it down, the memory of blood and disassembled body parts all too fresh in your mind.

He seems to be waiting for an answer to his question, so you give a minute nod. You’ve been here long enough to put the puzzle pieces together.

“Your uncle managed to rack up quite the impressive debt from us - a debt he couldn’t pay when it came due. He offered us you, his niece, instead. A pretty, young American girl, Quirkless… pure,” he sighs.

Each word hits you like a slap in the face and you can feel the unshed tears stinging in the corners of your eyes. It’s nothing you haven’t already figured out, but to be confronted with the truth, that your own flesh and blood (however estranged) had sold you out to save his skin, hurts more than you care to admit. 

Oblivious to your internal suffering, or maybe just indifferent to it, your captor continues. “I had planned on selling you. You’d be surprised what some of the degenerate filth in this city would be willing to pay for some beautiful, defenceless, foreign doll for them to stick their cocks into.”

Something close to amusement flickers in his eyes and he laughs as your face blanches in mute horror. He leans forward, gloved hands reaching for your face and you freeze with a choked gasp-

But he merely brushes at your cheek with the back of his knuckles, collecting a single stray tear that had slipped from your eyes without you even realising. “You don’t need to look so worried, Y/N. I thought you would have realised by now - you’re not going anywhere, you’re mine, and I’ve figured out a much better use for you.” It’s hard to tell with the gaudy mask obscuring half his face, but you could swear that beneath it all, your captor’s grinning. “My pretty little pet.”

[cuinnamonbun]

I really love ur headcanon about Hijabi Mc with the brothers! I really love it cuz there is no one writing about us in any fandom =(

I was thinking would u do the (un)datebale characters with Hijabi Mc if u can ? =3

If u don’t want then u can ignore the ask 🖤

Hello there, angel! I assume you meant the chaotic Hijabi MC headcanon that I wrote, so I hope you enjoyed these xx

she/her pronouns!!

The (Un)Dateable Characters' + Luke’s Reactions to a Hijabi MC That Looks Extremely Pious and Quiet but is Actually a Chaotic Mess

Diavolo

As future king of the Devildom that wishes to strengthen the relations between the three realms, prejudice and discrimination against the human exchange students’ choice of religion is a HUGE no-no

Diavolo would not mind the fact that she is wearing a symbol of her devotion to God on her head, but he would be so intrigued by this human at first meeting

Not about her religion, of course, he is well aware of all the religions in the world; Abrahamic religion being the one he is most familiar with (obvi)

What excited him was the fact that this human was so. friggin. hilarious.

He’s not even sure if this human is doing it on purpose because something would happen that would catch her off guard and she would just say?? the most random shit???

Like say, she got jumped by Mammon and her response to that would be a monotone scream and a “sTOP i could’ve dropped my croissant!” but she was actually genuinely startled

He’d be so fascinated like wow! Go girl, give us nothing!!

He would invite her over for tea so many times just so she could explain slang to him

Diavolo: Tell me MC, what is the meaning of DILF?

Due to personal reasons, MC will now be passing away

He would abuse the usage of slang everywhere and he would be so excited to finally understand what Leviathan is talking about

Lucifer: Diavolo, we must talk about the student council budget

Diavolo: That wasn’t very cash money of you

Lucifer: ....excuse me?

Diavolo: Periodt okurrr slay queen

MC has to go hide to avoid being slaughtered like a sacrificial lamb by Lucifer

Diavolo would be also be curious and impressed at the intricate planning of each and every one of her pranks

Like sure, it may be annoying to be the one at the receiving end of it, but understanding the details behind it?? All the logic, physics and patience put into it just to ensure a flawless delivery??? Absolutely stunning

MC has him mesmerised

He would absolutely want to learn the art of pranking from her

Honestly, at this point it’s no longer the human exchange student and the Devil King, it’s now the mentor and the mentee

Lucifer has to demand MC to stop teaching him these things for the sake of his sanity because it’s taking him away from his royal duties that’s keeping the Devildom from falling apart

They still meet up in secret though screw you, Lucifer

Barbatos

This is another demon whom would not mind the fact that their chosen exchange student is a Muslim

Lord Diavolo’s reputation hangs on this exchange program going extremely well, he would not let simple prejudices put a smear on that

He has prepared himself well to receive people from different walks of life just so he can provide all students a comfortable stay during their term in the Devildom

But wait...what is that human doing?

Oh...this poor man

Not only does he have to keep that ginormous labyrinth of a castle spotless and immaculate at all times and ensure that every event being hosted by the castle is going perfectly without a hitch, but he also has to take care of an overgrown man-child that is also known as the future king of the Devildom

Now, he has to make sure this...mess of a human doesn’t go stir up trouble anywhere?

Barbatos is a calm and collected man, but he’s still a demon; virtues aren’t exactly something they practice 

He would need to down three cups of melancholy coffee and squeeze a stress ball whenever he catches MC in her antics whether it is alone or with someone in tow

Somehow he’s the only one whom MC would find almost impossible to prank

Like she managed to catch Lucifer off guard once (that was her proudest achievement) but BARBATOS???? yeah, it’s like he has a pair of eyes on the back of his head or something

MC: *tries to sneak up on him*

Barbatos, not even turning back: Enough of that now, MC, come enjoy this tea I’ve made

Pranking Barbatos will become her number one mission during her entire term in the Devildom

Barbatos would be really amused and impressed at the lengths she would go through just to see that shocked look on his face

Why, it might even be—dare he say—endearing

Though MC will cause this man stress and grey hairs, Barbatos couldn’t help but appreciate her company every time she came around

When she’s not up to her daily shenanigans, she would simply opt to help Barbatos out with some of the chores or preparing the treats for a tea party with the student council members and the exchange program, even though he’s mentioned that she should do no such thing

But knowing that this girl is constantly energetic and restless, Barbs agreed to let her help since he would not want to deal with her breaking some priceless antiques or getting herself in trouble with Devildom law again

She helps to remind him that it’s okay to be laidback once in a while and that he doesn’t need to be so uptight all the time

These two have an unusual friendship but it’s only good vibes all around ^^

Before she leaves the Devildom though, he would pretend that she actually managed to startle him with her last grand prank and the look on her face was worth his reputation taking a slight hit

He totally has a soft spot for her

Solomon

OOOOH THESE TWO

THESE TWO ARE THE EMBODIMENT OF CHAOS ITSELF

Solomon and MC would be the best of friends man

The minute this shady sorcerer laid his eyes on her, he KNEW...this would be his new BFF

They would wreak so much havoc together that they give Lucifer a migraine the size of Lord Diavolo’s castle because they’re rUiNiNG tHe iNtEgRiTy oF tHE eXcHanGe pRoGrAm

Psh, as if that’d stop them

Honestly, it was like they each have one braincell that cancels each other out every time they get together

Lucifer: You two better have an explanation for this

MC: We have three actually. 

Solomon: Pick your favourite

Lucifer hates it whenever they get together and he would always try to prevent them from meeting up 

But his wits are no match for the power of their friendship!!

Solomon would defff try to persuade MC to get more pacts with other demons

Solomon: C’monnnn MC, we could be powerful! :c

MC: Bold of you to assume we’re not powerful now, bestie

So we have established that MC loves to pull pranks right?

She would have so many ideas on the top of her head that she would never use because 1) they either defy the laws of physics or 2) she would need magic to pull it off perfectly

So imagine her excitement when she found out Solomon is the greatest human sorcerer

She would 100% reel him in her plans and schemes and NO ONE (except the angels, they have immunity bc they’re babies :] ) would be safe from them

Despite all the fun they would have though, Solomon definitely treasures her as his greatest friend

I imagine life for Solomon would be quite lonely and he appreciates the constant joy and company that MC would provide him

He would definitely fuck a bitch up if someone dares to mess with his bestie 🙄

These two adore each other so much but they would be caught DEAD before they would admit that to each other 🤭

Simeon

When they first met, Simeon was so happy to find a person so devoted to God such as MC

He takes it upon himself to become MC’s guardian angel around the Devildom

He would helicopter them for a while and would (reluctantly) back off if MC finds it a bit suffocating 

(don’t be mean MC, he just cares about u alot that’s all :( )

This man is capital P patient

I mean, that’s a given with him being an angel and all

But seriously,,, one has to be in awe at how calm and collected he is even when MC would pull pranks that would cause a normal person to wanna punch the living daylights out of her

Eventually she would feel bad and stop pulling these pranks on him though, he’s just too sweet and she can’t take advantage of that </3

They would be really close though (along with Luke) because he would frequently invite her to pray the 5 essential prayers together with Luke or read the Qur’an together and it’s just wholesome vibes all around man 🥺

As angels, him and Luke would have such beautiful recitations of the Qur’an and I can picture MC frequently dropping by Purgatory Hall just to listen to him recite the kalimahs with the perfect tajweed (Non-Muslims if you’d like to hear an example, check out Sheikh Mishary reciting Surah al-Kahf, it’s beautiful man 🥺)

He would frequently invite MC and Luke out for walks too and these three would look so domestic together people often mistake them as a little family (much to the brothers’ chagrin and Simeon’s amusement)

Simeon has such a calming presence that he could even tame a chaotic MC down and have her sit still enough, it will be as if she turned into a completely different person

Lucifer, in his demon form: MC STOP RUNNING AROUND YOU’RE GOING TO FALL AND HURT URSELF

MC, violently shaking like a hamster on crack: U CANT STOP ME LUCI, URE NOT THE BOSS OF-

Simeon: Hello, MC! Would you like to come and have a pleasant chat with me? ^^ 

MC, as if in a trance: ...anything for you, Beyonce

MC is such a simp for Simeon and honestly, who can blame her?

Luke

Luke was extremely happy when the two of them met

This cutie is a proud servant of God and he loves humans who loves Him as much as he does

So it comes as to no one’s surprise when he attaches himself to MC

This would heighten when MC stepped between him, Beel and Lucifer during that,,,,incident

His favourite time of the day is praying in congregation with MC and Simeon and baking with MC

MC would steer clear from involving Luke in her pranks and/or outright pranking him

He’s just a precious little child okay, MC has a soft spot for this angel

She would definitely try to tone down her chaotic energy around him, but she would NOT hesitate to verbal + cyber bully any demons that dare to bully her child

Rando demon: haha shortstack

MC: So you have chosen death

Seriously, Luke would gawk at the obscenities coming from MC’s mouth

He would have to physically drag her away before the demons could devour them both

He would be absolutely SHOOKETH at the language she used because she has been nothing but sweet and polite to him. It was like she switched into a whole different person right in front of his eyes

Luke: MC! I knew living with those horrid demons is a bad idea! They’ve corrupted you now!! *crying Luke noises*

MC: Lil buddy, I was born this way

He would definitely feel really touched that MC is so protective of him though, but he would have to tell her to never say those words again, even if she’s trying to protect him

She would (hesitantly) tell him she would try her best but that would literally only last for half a day because another demon has foolishly decided to mess with him with her present

MC is Luke’s mother point blank period.

[aestheticallyunaesthetic17]

100 questions and answers

Who is your hero? Probably future me, i want to be able to grow up and be the better person that i hope they are, and the only way of knowing that is by making it happen.

If you could live anywhere, where would it be? New Zealand, Canada or USA. I lived in TX for 3 months and loved it there and I have family in NZ and Canada.

What is your biggest fear? Wasps, 100%. Not being stung but the way they look scares me.

What is your favorite family vacation? When we went to Krakow in Poland.

What would you change about yourself if you could? My skin color. I hate it so much.

What really makes you angry? People hating others or stopping others from being themselves.

What motivates you to work hard? To make future me happier than I am now.

What is your favorite thing about your career? I want to be in cabin crew, so probably the traveling.

What is your biggest complaint about your job? Being away from family.

What is your proudest accomplishment? Getting through the shit 2020 brought me without killing myself.

What is your child's proudest accomplishment? No kids rn.

What is your favorite book to read? Noughts and Crosses by Malorie Blackman

What makes you laugh the most? My boyfriend.

What was the last movie you went to? What did you think? Freaks. I was a bad movie, a little like the scary movies franchise. My friend was scared at parts which was super funny to watch

What did you want to be when you were small? An actor. Typical Leo ;)

What does your child want to be when he/she grows up? They can be anything they want to be.

If you could choose to do anything for a day, what would it be? Visit Edinburgh alone.

What is your favorite game or sport to watch and play? To watch, American Football. To play, archery.

Would you rather ride a bike, ride a horse, or drive a car? Drive a car, it's peaceful and warm. I would blast music.

What would you sing at Karaoke night? no idea.

What two radio stations do you listen to in the car the most? Heart and Capital

Which would you rather do: wash dishes, mow the lawn, clean the bathroom, or vacuum the house? Dishes or vacuum.

If you could hire someone to help you, would it be with cleaning, cooking, or yard work? Yard work!!!

If you could only eat one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be? Tandoori Prawn curry.

Who is your favorite author? Jacqueline Wilson or JK Rowling (only her books, not her)

Have you ever had a nickname? What is it? Just Em. But id like to be called Millie.

Do you like or dislike surprises? Why or why not? Depends on the surprise tbh, I like to plan a lot.

In the evening, would you rather play a game, visit a relative, watch a movie, or read? Watch a movie.

Would you rather vacation in Hawaii or Alaska, and why? Hawaii. I was meant to go this year but covid and leaving the US fucked it up.

Would you rather win the lottery or work at the perfect job? And why? Work the perfect job, id get bored sitting around all day.

Who would you want to be stranded with on a deserted island? my boyfriend.

If money was no object, what would you do all day? Travel and see the world.

If you could go back in time, what year would you travel to? 2012. To see my Nana again.

How would your friends describe you? Stupid.

What are your hobbies? Traveling, photography, music and shopping.

What is the best gift you have been given? Forgiveness from myself.

What is the worst gift you have received? Sixe XXL jacket when im an XS

Aside from necessities, what one thing could you not go a day without? My macbook.

List two pet peeves. - Breaking trust - Bad table manners

Where do you see yourself in five years? Hopefully working my dream job, maybe moved to a different country and traveling the world.

How many pairs of shoes do you own? too many, roughly 16

If you were a super-hero, what powers would you have? Invisibility or teleportation.

What would you do if you won the lottery? build my own house

What form of public transportation do you prefer? (air, boat, train, bus, car, etc.) Train, its so relaxing. Then planes.

What's your favorite zoo animal? Lions or tigers.

If you could go back in time to change one thing, what would it be? My time in America.

If you could share a meal with any 4 individuals, living or dead, who would they be? - My nana - my bf - Princess Diana - Obama

How many pillows do you sleep with? 4, two on each side.

What's the longest you've gone without sleep (and why)? 26 hours, traveling to Texarkana from Edinburgh.

What's the tallest building you've been to the top in? Idk tbh

Would you rather trade intelligence for looks or looks for intelligence? looks for intelligence because then you can earn enough for plastic surgery.

How often do you buy clothes? 1/2 a month

Have you ever had a secret admirer? Idk I guess so.

What's your favorite holiday? Summer vacation Christmas for an actual holiday

What's the most daring thing you've ever done? Moved half way across the world and lived with strangers.

What was the last thing you recorded on TV? Nothing

What was the last book you read? 1984

What's your favorite type of foreign food? Indian

Are you a clean or messy person? Both, but relatively clean

Who would you want to play you in a movie of your life? Millie Bobbie Brown probably

How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? 1 hour

What kitchen appliance do you use every day? Kettle

What's your favorite fast food chain? Chick fil A (i know, i cant buy it now tho)

What's your favorite family recipe? Nana's bacon and egg pie

Do you love or hate rollercoasters? LOVE

What's your favorite family tradition? Opening gifts on Christmas Eve

What is your favorite childhood memory? I dunno really, Ive forgotten a lot of my childhood.

What's your favorite movie? Ferris Bueller's Day Off or Beautiful Boy

How old were you when you learned Santa wasn't real? How did you find out? Probably 7/8 but I dont remember.

Is your glass half full or half empty? Half empty.

What's the craziest thing you’ve done in the name of love? Said i'd come back one day.

What three items would you take with you on a deserted island? A boat and food. Yes i am that person.

What was your favorite subject in school? Scottish school, geography. US school, government.

What's the most unusual thing you've ever eaten? Haggis

Do you collect anything? Foreign coins

Is there anything you wished would come back into fashion? Skinny jeans, my ass looks gooood in them

Are you an introvert or an extrovert? introvert that likes being sociable

Which of the five senses would you say is your strongest? hearing

Have you ever had a surprise party? (that was an actual surprise) nope

Are you related or distantly related to anyone famous? my dad is well know in the whisky business. Has his own prime tv show

What do you do to keep fit? Walk a lot and swim.

Does your family have a “motto” – spoken or unspoken? nope

If you were ruler of your own country what would be the first law you would introduce? everyone is equal.

Who was your favorite teacher in school and why? Scottish School, my geo teacher. US school, my english teacher.

What three things do you think of the most each day? My bf, my mum and America

If you had a warning label, what would yours say? Sad, angry and anxious

What song would you say best sums you up? 17 again

What celebrity would you like to meet at Starbucks for a cup of coffee? Timothee Chalamet or Tom Holland

Who was your first crush? a boy called Finlay who i rode the bus with

What's the most interesting thing you can see out of your office or kitchen window? sheep or cows very often

On a scale of 1-10 how funny would you say you are? 5

Where do you see yourself in 10 years? kids, married, settled down and happy. moved countries 100%

What was your first job? never had one

If you could join any past or current music group which would you want to join? 5sos

How many languages do you speak? 1 - english

What is your favorite family holiday tradition? opening gifts on Christmas Eve

Who is the most intelligent person you know? my mum

If you had to describe yourself as an animal, which one would it be? a cat probably or a tiger

What is one thing you will never do again? trust people fully

Who knows you the best? my bf.

[rigginsstreet]

Tell us how you'd write fp different from season one if u were in control 📝

ultimately id probably keep season one the same if we’re still keeping it r*verdale and not... parentdale lmao because then that becomes an entirely different show

but i do think he couldve been utilized a little more like we couldve done some things there. 

first and foremost im making that bitch GAY and yes that is very important to his character but i dont need to tell you that. but the layers that would add bitch! the layers! oh but i also wouldve given him and hermione/the lodges a proper backstory because that shit was not explored okay like i made a post about it before how all these people went to school together and then hiram randomly calls fp up one day cuz he needs a plot of land cheapened by his presence ksjgbkjbg and then add on the whole thing with fp hermione and fred. bisexual love triangle i would like to see.

OH and i would like to see his relationship with the serpents explored more i need to see him actually being a leader and making deals and running shit PLUS how joaquin came to be his like.... second in command i mean i know he was being used to seduce kevin but i really need that backstory too lmfao i need to see that conversation and honestly i think fp pulled that from his own experiences like i can 100% see fp in his younger days having to flirt his way through some situations just to gain some knowledge about whatever. but ALSO!!!! if we had a parallel of fp seducing fred to get info for hiram and fp first agreeing to it cuz hes still pissed at fred but then shit gets complicated because obviously hes still in love with him and then fp starts feeling bad and then oh no fred finds out just when he was starting to maybe open himself up to the idea of being with fp again..... we truly couldve done so much. and then you have freds slutty ass being caught betwen his ex girlfriend and ex boyfriend while also being sad about his ex wife still. so much drama

its really not until season 2 that his character fucking derails. I WANTED TO SEE HIM ACTUALLY IN PRISON! HIM RUNNING THE YARD! PRISON FIGHTS! SEXY!

i would have liked an actual sobriety arc. he said he got sober in prison and was attending meetings and then poof. that ended immediately. and fine. we could keep that but like... at least show the struggle and the guilt over it ya know? also he did not struggle nearly enough for coming out of prison for DUMPING A DEAD TEENAGER IN A RIVER like that town truly shouldve been on his ass about that theres no WAY him working at pops wouldnt have caused a scene.

like my main problem with fp as a character is that he truly never suffers any consequences for anything but also hes written to have all these problems that are never dealt with or remotely explored. and for as much as i would love for that bitch to get some therapy i also realize its not entirely realistic for him as a character and thats fine! but i want to see him struggle i want to see him actually acknowledge he has demons to face and work at them in his own way and both fail and succeed. 

ultimately what it all comes down to is he wasnt written as a person. which.... no one on this show is. they all just tick their little boxes of stereotypes and caricatures and its very annoying. if youre gonna give fp a drinking problem, show it! not just him passed out on the couch but him actually struggling. show him trying to get better and doing good for a while only to relapse, show how he actively has to make the choice every day not to drink. have him apologize to the people he hurt. let us see the actual damage it did to not just him but those around him. 

give him relationships with other people that are fleshed out and actually matter. the fact that he never once checked in on fred after he was shot is INSANE to me. gladys was only ever used as throwaway lines that never went anywhere. he had an entire daughter he presumably never tried getting in contact with based on her reaction to see him again like....but yet he has her name tattooed over his heart? so either that was a hollow gesture to appease his own mind or he actually deeply loves her but was so ashamed of himself and what caused gladys to leave that he couldnt even pick up the phone to call them. SHOW ME THESE THINGS!

show us what the serpents meant to him as a kid who got thrown out by his father at 16 and found a family in them instead. show us why he wound up back there after fred fired him. show us why hes so bonded to them. hell, even if he just went back out of desperation because times were hard and no one else would hire him and he needed that easy money.... fucking explore that shit! 

show us him forming these relationships with the younger gay serpents because hes got all this baggage from his own upbringing and he has a soft spot for kids like him and wants to protect them, even if it is through a drug running gang. show us that abuse fucks up your perception of love and how to do it but its all he knows so hes working with what hes got.

fp honestly works best as a tragic character. trying to do good but he can never quite make it. always drawn to shadier things because ultimately its what he knows and its where he feels safe. but he wants to be better at the same time! he just truly cannot help himself. and thats what needed to be explored more with him but not in a way that romanticized it. like he really is a fucked up person when you break him down and the fact we were all supposed to look at him as the hero or something is so bizarre to me and it never worked because we were expected to just forget everything he was. 

hes not an evil guy either hes just deeply misguided because thats just the shit he grew up in and he doesnt know anything else. except for fred and what he saw with the andrews and that shouldve been an important relationship like they really couldve played on how opposite fred and fp are and used that to a narrative advantage, them being best friends. theres SO MUCH to be done with that but fuck me i guess. 

idk i just always think about how fun fp wouldve been if they had just let him indulge in his devious ways like theres no way fp jones wouldve ever taken a cop job seriously and not used it to his own advantage. theres no way he wouldve been that bent out of shape about gladys running drugs when hes done SO MUCH worse. we shouldve gotten more scamming against hiram and him and hermione being in cahoots. 

like hes a street rat. he will always be a street rat. he cannot shake this. fucking play with that! indulge in it! have fun! have him settle down with his husband but he still cant stop himself from living on the fringe of the law

[catxsnow]

hi! hope youre having a good day 😃 i was wondering if you could do YJ wally for the fluff alphabet? if you cant i totally understand. thank you either way. BTW i love your stuff

I was having a good day yesterday when you sent this I hope you did too! Thank you for liking my writing and taking the time to read it! Here’s YJ Wally fluff Alphabet: 

A = Attractive (What do they find attractive about the other?)

Wally is an ass man. You can't change my mind.

B = Baby (Do they want a family? Why/Why not?)

Y.E.S. Wally cannot wait to see you deal with a little speedster toddler. He can't wait to for his kid to grow up enough to run with him but he never wants to see your kid grow up in the hero life. Wally wanted out at a young age for a reason, he's not about to let his twelve year old run off and save the world.

C = Cuddle (How do they cuddle?)

Wally loves to lay on you. His favourite is with his head on your chest and your arms wrapped around him while your legs are tangled together. He loves to hear your heart race as you lay together. Also loves to lay on your legs when you're sitting on the couch. D = Dates (What are dates with them like?)

anything with food. You once took him on a date that didn't involve getting food at all and you thought he would combust by the end of it.

E = Everything (You are my ____ (e.g. my life, my world...))

You are my lightning rod (Barry told him that was what he called Iris and he thought it was stupid at first until it grew on him). F = Feelings (When did they know they were in love?)

Wally believes in love at first sight and he knew it was true when he saw you. G = Gentle (Are they gentle? If so, how?)

To a degree. Wally is gentle with you when he needs to be. When he sees you upset or doubtful he knows that he needs to go to you with soft words and caution. However, when the two of you were in a good mood, he's ridiculous around you. Wally will haul you over his shoulder and WWE body slam you into his bed. He's not afraid to snatch you while he's speeding around and give you the worst whip lash of your life, either.

H = Hands (How do they like to hold hands?)

Wally can't stay still for very long. He switches between hand holds constantly. His favourite is when you draw into his wrist with the pad of your thumb to keep him calm. I = Impression (What was their first impression?)

total babe. The first thing Wally sees in some is their looks and you were a total smoke show. However, when he learned more about you? Wally knew that you were his soulmate. J = Jealousy (Do they get jealous?)

Insanely. Wally knows that you would never give him a reason to be jealous, but it's the other people that he's worried about. Especially when you're on a mission and some civilian runs up to you to try and sweet talk you. Wally's signature move is super speeding you away as soon as someone tries to flirt with you. K = Kiss (How do they kiss? Who initiated the first kiss?)

You were the first to kiss him and he was a little offended that he wasn't the first one to pull a move. Wally is always known for his speed but when it comes to kissing you, he loves to drag out every second. He savors the lingering kisses and is never to fast when it comes to you. L = Love (Who says 'I love you' first?)

He does. Wally's a total simp for you. To be honest, he didn't even mean to say it. You had brought him a bag of fast food one day and he was like 'thanks babe, I love you'. He freaked out about it but you had only given him a kiss and said it right back M = Memory (What's their favourite memory together?)

There was one mission that the two of you were teamed up together. You saved a lot of lives that day and the pride and joy you felt swelled in your heart. Without thinking you had kissed him in front of all the people you saved and their cheers had brought out an excited side of wally that you had never seen. N = Nickel (Do they spoil? Do they buy the person they love everything?)

Wally is a flower man. He loves to buy you flowers at every chance he gets. Otherwise, he doesn't really go overboard in the gifts. He will however, buy you something if you ask him to - even if he's a little tight on money (but you never really ask him anything extraordinary) O = Orange (What colour reminds them of their other half?)

Whenever he sees the color of your supersuit he thinks about you. When it's a super common color he pretty much just thinks of you constantly P = Pet names (What pet names do they use?)

Exclusively babe. or when he wants to bother you he calls you hotcheeks. Q = Quaint (What is their favourite non-modern thing?)

Wally doesn't know non-modern. He doesn't like old school so he doesn't have a favourite non-modern thing. R = Rainy Day (What do they like to do on a rainy day?)

He loves baking with you. 99% of the time you always double the recipe because he eats half the dough or batter of whatever you're making before you get to put it in the oven. There was one one time that you guys had a food fight and M'gann gave you one hell of a lecture for it afterwards. S = Sad (How do they cheer themselves/others up?)

Wally runs when he needs to clear his head. It's the thing he's best at and he knows that Barry did it too. However, when that's not enough, he finds himself in your room asking if you would go on a walk with him. He can't stay still when he's upset. T = Talking (What do they like to talk about?)

Everything. When Wally gets excited he starts speed talking and you can't understand a single word coming out of his mouth. However, you always just end up nodding along and agree with what he's saying. U = Unencumbered (What helps them relax?)

Running. He's a speedster, it's what he does. V = Vaunt (What do they like to show off? What are they proud of?)

He loves to show off all his mission memorabilia that he gets. Everything brings a unique memory and meaning and he's proud to show off just how much he helps the world. W = Wedding (When, how, where do they propose?)

Wally spontaneously runs you both to the most exotic beach he could find. He proposes to you at sunset with far too many roses because he's always been the cheesiest guy you've known and he's not about to stop now. X = Xylophone (What's their song?)

Good news by Mac Miller Y = Yes (Do they ever think of getting married/proposing?)

Yes, but he wants to graduate college first and get your lives established. Wally loves you and that's all that matters. Z = Zebra (If they wanted a pet, what would they get?)

Wally would buy the whole Zoo if he could. He settles on a pitbull instead.

[moondustis]

malamente (m)

pairing: Jung Jaehyun + reader genre: angst, smut, drama word count: 8k summary:  bonnie and clyde au! Right now, at the downfall, you can only think back to the basement apartment and the job that barely managed to put food on your mouth. The lack of life on Jaehyun's eyes and how it seemed almost gone the past days. And there's the answer. It was. It was all worth it. 

You can see Jaehyun's mouth moving through the black mask but the sound of alarms and sirens are too loud, deafening even. Your hand grips the bag you're holding with much more force than needed, and there's tears on your face that you cant feel right now but it just gives the moment the touch of drama it needs. Jaehyun rushes to you, the gun in his hand pointed upwards as he cups your face, the alarms still going off and the sirens getting closer by the minute. You try to read his lips but its like your mind can't process anything, like you're in a state of shock that nothing can pull you out off. 

Was it worth it? Your mind provides. Was any of it worth it? 

Right now, at the downfall, you can only think back to the basement apartment and the job that barely managed to put food on your mouth. The lack of life on Jaehyun's eyes and how it seemed almost gone the past days. 

And there's the answer. It was. It was all worth it. 

✸

The routine repeats itself everyday, as it should. It’s almost as if you’re living on automatic mode. Your shift ends at 8pm. You take off your apron, get your bag and whatever leftover you managed to save for dinner and walk outside to meet Jaehyun, who’s waiting for you with a cigarette on his mouth.

He greets you with a kiss to the cheek, knows too well you despise the taste of the cheap cigarette he smokes. “How was work?” You let him hold your hand, feeling the weight on your body leave just a little bit.

“It was ok, same old.” You liked your job. Your very underpaid job, but still it was something. Your mother taught you how to cook from a young age so it just made sense to make use of the only talent you had. Even if sometimes the manager got on your nerve and made you want to quit. “How’s Yuta?”

Yuta was one of Jaehyun’s closest friends. The one that when everything was way shittier than it its now, taught Jaehyun how to work his way around those fancy music equipments and now they sell jingles for supermarkets every once in a while. “He's fine.“ Is all he replies with, never one to talk too much about matters of work, but today something seems off. Like his mind is somewhere else. 

Most days Jaehyun is good at hiding how miserable and exhausted he feels, how it destroys his soul to be wasting the only talent he has on things that are useless. But sometimes all he can do is smoke a whole pack of cigarettes while he argues with you that it would be better if he just found another job, something that pays more  but leaves him ten times more dead inside than he is now. 

On the other hand, you are the best at hiding it. Feels like that's the only thing that's pushing you both forward, the sweet smile you give him everyday even if your back hurts from sleeping on the old mattress. Even if you're tired of eating eggs everyday because they are cheaper. But after three years it's easy for him to see right past all that. 

“You sure you're okay?“ He asks when you both make into the full subway, the amount of people squeezing the two of you together. “You look tired.“

Don’t I always? You want to say, but you just shrug it off. “Yep.” You say, mindlessly. “Just had a long day, is all.”

He presses a kiss to the top of your head, the smell of the cigarette he had earlier still lingering but it doesn’t bother you as much as the kiss makes you feel warm. He is good at that, always has been. Making you feel safe and content without even saying a word. 

The rest of the way home is met with a comfortable silence from the both of you. You do this almost everyday, the shady streets don’t change, the flickering light doesn’t go out and the stray cat that stays just outside the stairs that lead you down your small house still hisses at Jaehyun when he tries to pet it. It’s a dreadful routine.

There’s a bill on the counter that you still haven’t gotten the courage to open yet when you enter the kitchen and Jaehyun runs to shower. The lasagna leftover you managed to get at work is something to be thankful for, even if the amount is not really enough for both of you. Still, you heat it and wait for Jaehyun to come out of the shower to eat it. 

You’re impatient, fingers running around the counter as the static noise of the microwave fills the room. You eye the bill for a minute before muttering a low ‘fuck it’ and grabbing it. You tear the paper, being met with a long letter detailing the specifics of a deal you made years ago and a reminder that if you don’t pay it soon you will be met with a pretty lawsuit. 

A long time ago your dreams were still intact inside of your head, and an acceptance to the university you aimed for just got the best out of your naivety. Drowning yourself in student loan sounded like a good idea at the time, you would be a lawyer by the time you were done with college anyway, more than enough money to pay for it later on. But in the end it didn't turn out like that, having to work two jobs didn’t make attending classes very easy and soon you were a college dropout with no money and an amount of student loan that you wouldn’t be able to pay. Ever. 

That exact amount stares at you now, plus taxes, in a bold font and a due date by the end of the month. Great, peachy even. It’s not like it makes your hands shake and your heart beat faster in your chest as you start to panic just a little bit.

You don’t even notice the beeping coming from the microwave, only snapping out of it when Jaehyun walks in the room, hair still wet. “Baby? What’s wrong?” His voice is filled with worry as he makes his way towards you. 

He has no comforting words when he takes the piece of paper from your hand and reads it, muttering a little fuck and shaking his head. “Let’s just forget it for now and eat, okay?” Is his clever solution and what can you do but nod. 

He tries to make small chat while you eat, trying his best to distract you and it works for the most part. The little anxiety monster not weighing so much on your back.

Later, when you have already showered and you’re both laying on the mattress on the floor he mutters the words that would change everything into the dark. “Do you ever think about how far you would go for money?” 

Most of the time you like to think you would never go too far to make money, always staying with the 9 to 5 jobs that didn’t pay that well. But days like this, your mind wanders around the alternatives. “Sometimes, I guess.” You whisper, as if to not disturb the quiet. “What about you?”

You turn around so you’re facing him but his eyes stay glued to the ceiling, as if he is in deep thought. “I would do anything with you.” He replies, not really answering the question but his words weigh on. Little did you know they would stick with you forever.

✸

He makes the proposition on a sunday night, when you both have a day off. The old television is playing reruns of a show Jaehyun liked to watch but you never really cared about. Tonight though he seems a bit uninterested. 

He had been acting out of it the whole week, not speaking much and moving around like he’s in a never ending anxiety state. 

“Have you heard about the little cafe down the street closing down?” You ask after too long in silence, making small talk as if to settle his nerves. 

“Huh?” You watch him blink from your side of the couch before his attention is turned to you. He looks comfortable in his big black hoodie but his hair is just about to get oily from not having washing it. “Why? I thought they were doing well.” 

You hum in agreement. “Heard it was because of the robbery couple weeks ago. People don’t really want to get their coffee on a dangerous neighbor.” He just blinks again and you realize he’s not paying attention to what you’re saying. “Is everything okay, baby?”

Out of nowhere he gets up from the bed, standing there looking at you with a weird air in his eyes. “I know a way we can get the debt money.” He says out of nowhere and quickly. 

“Oh.” You mutter out dumbly, not really knowing what to say to his abrupt confession. 

He scratches the back of his head, passing around the room as if trying to choose the right words. “I - Yuta and I were talking last week and he mentioned this, hm…” His nervous behavior is making you nervous as well and you wish he would just say it already. “He mentioned an opportunity.”

You raise your eyebrows, moving so you are sitting down on the bed, eyes trying to scan his. “What kind?”

Yuta was a great person, he truly was. But like you and Jaehyun, and probably every other person in New York, he struggled with money. Unlike you though, he would sometimes get involved in sketchy business and, against your knowledge, would try to get Jaehyun to do the same. 

“You probably won’t like it.” Jaehyun says and you know it’s not something good but you entertain him with a raise of your eyebrows. “Remember Doyoung?” 

“The guy with red hair?” You had met Doyoung once, during a small party at Yuta’s party. It was a long time ago, but you still remember his vivid red hair. 

Jaehyun nods. “He was doing some work around houses downtown. Cleanings pools and stuff.” He’s still pacing around your small bedroom, avoiding your eyes. “Well one of the men he was working for apparently forgot he had given him a spare key to the house.” 

“And where’s the opportunity here?” 

“Rich people are dumb, baby. That’s the opportunity.” You let out a small laugh at that. “The man has money hidden in his house and we have access to the keys.” 

He does a big gesture to you as if he had just discovered all the secrets of the universe. “Are you suggesting - You want us to rob someone?” You have a hard time processing his words. That’s by far the craziest thing Jaehyun has ever said, the drug dealing idea last year doesn’t even come close to this. “This is crazy. How are we even getting the key from Doyoung? And how are we even supposed to even get inside without being noticed?” 

“He’s giving it to us. Knows how much we need the money.” You let out a sigh, throwing your blanket away so you can get up as well. “And the dude will be away for a day next week app-“

“Jaehyun, you’re going crazy. Please look at-“

“No, ____. I’m not-“ He gets antsy at your reaction, finally facing you and cradling your face with both his hands. There’s desperation in his eyes and you want to make him feel at peace again. “We have to, baby. It’s our only chance.” 

Of the things you missed the most, hope was one of them. It made things make sense, hoping that everything would work out and tomorrow would be better. You think back to the day you lost it, saw it draining from Jaehyun’s soul as he cried in front of you for the first time. He had looked so fatigued as he looked at you and delivered the news that he got fired from his job and the only thing you could give him was the letter of eviction you had gotten earlier. 

After hope is gone you start to live on automatic, just trying to make it through the next day. There’s no silver linings and no alternatives. But this right here, seems like one. It’s a hard thing to admit but it really might be your only chance. 

You don’t accept it right away but Jaehyun knows you will eventually. That night you fall asleep with him telling you it will be ok as you cry yourself dry.

✸

Jaehyun gets a car. An old thing that has probably seen better days and which the origin of where it came from is kept hidden from you. He tells you to pack most things you will need for a few weeks, which are not much because you don’t own a lot. 

jaehyun gets a gun. A real one that you find out about when he’s driving you downtown, to rob a man’s house from all things. 

It’s around 1am but the streets are still busy, with people walking around and the neon signs still on. There’s a song playing that Jaehyun seems to enjoy because he keeps humming to it and for a second you forget about what’s happening. Until he asks you. “Are you nervous?”

There’s no beating around the bush here. “Yes.”

“Me too.” He says back and turns the music on even louder.

Your heart beats like crazy on your chest as Jaehyun enters they key on the lock, as if expecting for alarms to go off and for this to be over before it even starts, but nothing happens. He just opens the door and walks inside. 

If the house seemed huge from the outside, it’s even bigger inside. The architecture is minimalist, like the houses you see on the movies and you’re sure there are pieces of art on the walls are worth more than your life. 

The sound of your steps on the wood floor echo so you try to walk as slowly as possible, taking in the luxury that surrounds the place. 

“You can take whatever you like, just not something that they would notice soon.” Jaehyun's voice snaps you out of your daze, your eyes moving to where he’s heading inside the house. He seems determined and you should be too. 

“Okay.” You say back, trailing behind him before you decide to enter what it seems like a big closet. 

When you turn the lights on you let your eyes wander, there’s a full corridor full of clothes, shoes and bags that left your mouth gaping. Fashion had always been something you enjoyed but never let yourself fantasize too much about, other than a nice sale at H&M. Now though, you let your hands travel through all the soft and expensive looking fabrics. 

Your fingers stop when they touch the softest silk you had ever felt in your entire life, eyes shining when you see the lilac shade of it. A Valentino slip dress so pretty that you feel excited just by holding it and it doesn’t take you long to decide that this wouldn’t be missed. 

For the remaining of your search you let yourself be shallow but not too much,, entering bathrooms and taking perfumes and lipsticks with you but not letting yourself get away when you see bags and earrings that call your name. 

It feels like hours inside the house before you finally find yourself on the only room you hadn’t been yet and Jaehyuni’s voice is reverberating through the house in search for you. 

He finds you on the main bedroom, staring at the huge bed on the center of it. It looks comfortable.

He comes behind you, arms circling your waist and face resting on the crook of your neck. You let out a pleased hum. “Want me to fuck you there, kitten?” He whispers in your ear and even if it does send a shiver down your spine, you scoff at him. 

“You’re filthy, Jung Jaehyun.” Your reply makes him laugh, throwing his arm up in defeat. 

“A man can only dream.” He says and there’s a lightness to his voice that wasn’t there before but when you turn to look at him there’s still worry in his eyes. “Did you get everything you wanted?” 

You nod. “Just a few things.” 

He smiles, likes for some reason that you are being bashful about this. “Well I got us a lot of fucking cash.” It makes you laugh, hands moving to rest at his shoulders while you do your best to give him dreamy eyes. 

“You did?” He knows what you’re playing at and it only make him smile wider, dimples coming out. 

“Mhm-hm.” He says before pressing a quick peck to your lips. “You could even say we’re rich right now. Even got myself a Rolex.” 

He shows the watch to you with a smirk on his face. It was always his very out of reality dream to get one and here he was now, proudly showing his wrist off like he bought it with his own money.

“Oh! It’s so pretty.” 

“Yeah? You think so?” He asks, one hand moving to your cheek and caressing it with his thumb.

You nod again. “Makes you hotter.” You whisper and he lets out a full laugh, making you smile as well. 

“Can’t fucking believe you sometimes. A little vixen, that’s what you are.” 

“Can’t help that money makes me horny.” You joke, making him laugh even harder, bending to get the duffel bag that he had dropped to his feet. 

You both make sure that everything is set and non suspicious before leaving. Only stopping by the kitchen so Jaehyun can steal a bottle champagne and expensive cheese while you roll your eyes. 

The weight on your shoulders only leave when you’re inside the car driving away. It’s then, with the calm of the early morning, the wind on your face and a song playing, that you decide you want to see Jaehyun smiling all the time. 

“Jaehyun.” You call out to him and he immediately turns to look at you, hands still on the steering wheel. The worry has left his eyes, leaving space for a peaceful gleam that you absolutely adore. “I love you.” 

He gives you a smile, making your insides twist with happiness. “Love you too, angel. You’re my ride or die.” 

✸

When you pull up at the road motel it feels like something straight out of a movie, with lights flickering and only a few cars on the huge parking lot. 

Jaehyun had promised that as soon as you got back to the city you would go and spend a whole week at a fancy hotel to make up for this. But for now, the motel would had driven 2 hours to get to, would have to do. 

It wasn’t bad, you think to yourself, as you enter the little reception. The bed would probably be better than the one you had at home. 

“Good morning, welcome to La Luna.” The old lady behind the counters says in an almost robotic voice. She looks way past her bedtime and barely even glances twice at you. “Can I help you?” 

“We need a room, for a couple of nights.” Jaehyun replies, glancing at you to make sure you were okay. You give him a small smile. 

“We don’t book for more than a day. You have to come back in the morning to check-in again.” The lady says placing a piece of paper on the counter,  making him sigh before signing where it was needed.

“That’s okay. We’ll get one for the night and come back again tomorrow.” He says and as soon as the lady gives him the key he’s walking away, you following right behind. 

Room 439 is simple. Looks more like a plain hotel room, with the white sheets in the bed and the minimalist decor, then a road motel you have seen in movies. 

There’s the sound of the bag Jaehyun was holding falling to the floors, then of the gun being placed on the bedside table. Your eyes glance to the clock right next to it, the red lights indicating that it was a little after 4AM. You should feel tired but your body is tingling with adrenaline and excitement, heart beating slightly too fast. 

So you move to the bathroom, bag still in your hand. You can still hear Jaehyun moving around in the bedroom but it feels good to be alone for a second. 

Your hands are shaking when you remove the clothes you are wearing, folding them with patience and placing it on the closed toilet lid. Then you remove your underwear, the printing of the tight bra staying behind in slightly red marks. The streams of hot water from the quick shower you take wash them away. 

You feel like your heart will burst when you are completely dry, bending to the floor to open the bag with the things you had stolen behind. Stolen. The words echo in your head as you stare at yourself in the fogged mirror. There’s a blush on your cheeks from the heat and your hair is wet. You can barely see the perfume you hold so tightly as you spray your body with it, a pleasant, not too sweet and not too citrusy smell filling your senses.

Then comes the dress, a little folded for being in the bag, but still the most beautiful piece of cloth you had ever seen. You almost moan when the fabric hits your skin, the lilac of it looking almost angelic on you. It’s a pretty dress, stopping at your mid thigh and with the straps not doing much to keep you covered. 

Looking in the mirror again, you see yourself. None of the things on your body are yours, but it’s still you. 

When you walk inside the bedroom again a shiver runs down your spine from the cold air. Jaehyun is sitting on the bed, his now naked back is turned to you as he goes through the channels on the tv. 

It's silly but you clear your throat, trying to get his attention. It works and he turns so he's facing you, smile immediately painting his face. “Damn, baby. You look so pretty.“ He says genuinely and you can't help but smile back, your cheeks turning pink. “Come on, come here.“ He pats his thighs and you walk to him, until you're standing between his open legs. 

“Do you like it?“ You twirl around a little so the dress follows, giggling. 

He moves his hands to your thighs, rubbing through the dress and humming. “Of course, you look so beautiful.“ He presses a kiss to your clothed stomach, then another to the exposed area of your chest. “Smell so good too. Makes me want to eat you up.“ 

He looks at you then, eyes filled with something that you probably mirror and you can only reply with a little oh, making him laugh at you before finally pressing a kiss to your lips. 

Its quick before soon he's getting off the bed and moving you to where the champagne bottle is. “We should celebrate, huh?“ His voice is playful as he gets the bottle on his hands. “It's not everyday you become a millionaire.“ 

You laugh out loud. You are far from being a millionaire but it does feel like it, on this small hotel room with your designer dress and Jaehyun smiling at you. When he pops the champagne open you clap your hands and he moves it to his mouth trying to not get it to fall on the floor, but instead it drips down his neck, a bit getting on his chest. It makes something inside you tingle. 

“Can I have some?“ You ask, getting closer to him. 

“Sure, baby. Open up.“ You do as he says, parting your lips and tilting your head back a little so he can pour it on your mouth. He watches you the whole time, and after you have gulped down he places the bottle on the desk again, hands moving to your neck. Impatient, you close the distance first, smashing your lips together and almost groaning in frustration when he smiles against your mouth as if teasing you for being so eager. 

The kiss is hungry from the start, with his hands moving to your hips and you pulling on his lips. When you moan a little at the feel he opens his mouth a little, sliding his tongue against yours and you swear you will never get enough of this. 

Your hands move down, trying to unbutton his jeans but he distracts you with nips to your lower lip. “So eager, kitten.” He murmurs against your lip and you blush for being caught on your desperation. His hand moves down your dress, gripping at your bare ass before he’s smacking it, bringing a yelp to your lips. If you weren’t wet already you sure were now. “Are you gonna be a good girl for me, huh?” 

You nod, earning yourself another smack. “Y-yes, I’ll be a good girl. Please, please...” You whimper and he kisses you hard again, sucking at your lips and your grip at his shoulders. 

He goes down, kissing at your jaw, then your earlobe and then he’s biting at your neck, making you squirm but he keeps you still with a strong grip on your waist. His other hands goes to the thin strap of your dress, pushing it down until it falls on one side, exposing your breasts to him. 

He wastes no time, mouth going to your chest as he latches his lips to one of your hard nipples and you let out a moan, hands gripping his nape. “Oh —  Oh my god….” 

He gives the same attention to the other nipple and you feel overwhelmed already, always had been too sensitive. You don’t even notice when he pushes the other strap down and the dress falls to the floor. “Such a pretty dress, baby.” He mutters against your chest. “But you look much better like this.” 

He drops to his knees, hands roaming your body before they stop at your hips. One kiss to your stomach, then another and he’s finally where you want him the most. Taking his time, he pressed the littlest of kisses to your bare cunt before he’s pressing his tongue to it. You cry out at the feeling, hands moving to grip the table in front of you as he laps at you entrance, collecting your wetness there before he’s moving to your clit. 

He likes this as much as you do, humming against you and licking you so deeply you feel the urge to press your thighs together. He always said he could stay between your legs until his jaw got strained, he wouldn’t mind. “Taste so fucking good.” You can feel the vibrations of his voice through you, a shiver running down your body.

“Please, Jae… ‘M so close.” Your fingers grip his hair, pushing his mouth further and he hums again when you try to move against his mouth. 

“That’s it, kitten.” He groans, muffled by you. “Ride my face.” 

You did, grip on his hair only getting tighter as he continued to lick and suck you, two of his fingers slipping inside of you. It’s when he curls them and flicks his tongue just right on your clit you let out a cry. “Oh — Jae… I’m gonna cum— I’m…”

Your walls tighten around his fingers and then you’re seeing all white. Mouth falling open as he continues to lick, gentler this time, you through your orgasm. 

You have barely gotten your breath back before he’s dragging you to the bed, leaving his pants and briefs behind. His chest was shining with a light sheen of sweat as he hovers over you before dropping your lips to yours, making you taste yourself on his tongue. 

“Want you.” He mutters against your lips and you know, can feel him pressing against your thigh. “Want you so fucking bad.” 

He nuzzles his face against yours, before kissing your neck again. “Please…” You whine, arching your back to try and get closer to him. “Fuck me… Please.” 

“Yeah? Want me inside?” His voice was lower with around, hand moving to grip his cock and slicking the head with your wetness. You open your legs wider for him. “Want me inside your tight little pussy?” 

You nod your head, walls clenching at his words and he presses the head at your entrance, biting his lips. He slides in slowly, feeling you pulsing against him and making him groan loudly. He feels so good you could see stars right now. 

You lock your ankles behind him, bringing him closer and he lets out a moan. “Just a sec, baby. Just a — fuck….” 

The first thrust has you both moaning, your hands moving to grip at his shoulders, nails drawing crescents on his skins. You’re both on a high and he can’t control himself, each thrust getting harder than the last one as he grunts in your ear, begging you to come for him. You can hear faintly in the background the sound of the bed squeaking but the sound of your moans and of skin slapping drowns it.

“Oh, fuck…” You yelp when his fingers get in contact with your clit, rubbing it until you’re coming for the second time, back arching off the bed. 

After that he sets a sloppy rhythm, thrusting faster until he’s pressing deep inside of you with a grunt and filling you up with his release. “Fuck, Fuck —Shit.”

You whimpers when he pulls out, feeling his release falling out on the bed and your ass. He drops his head to your neck, pressing a kiss to your cheek before laughing lowly. 

He gets up after a moment and disappears into the bathroom, coming back with a small wet towel he uses to clean you up. “You need to pee?” He asks and you shake your head.

“I will in a minute.” You open your arms for him. “Come here now.” 

He does as told, falling into your arms and pressing kisses all over you. “I love you, baby.” You giggle and that makes him look at you with an intensity that wasn't there before. “I really do, you know that right? I would kill for you.” 

You look at him with glossy eyes, hands moving to his cheek. “I know.” Your thumb massages his worried eyebrows. “And I love you too.” 

He turns his head so he can kiss your hand. “Would you?” He asks before continuing. “Kill for me?”��

You think about it for a second before deciding. “I would.” And that’s final.

✸

The thing about ambition is that it never seems enough, it blinds you and the only think you can think about is more and more. 

After 3 days, Jaehyun drops a balaclava onto the hotel bed as you're balancing yourself on it and trying to paint your toenails. “What's this?“ You ask, eyebrows raising as he drops the rest of the things he bought from the closest convenience store he could find. 

“There's a small town, about 30 minutes from here.“ He starts, getting a package of oreos from the shopping bag and ripping it open with his teeth. “Apparently nothing really happens there during the weekend… and the bank closes down.“

He lets his words hang in the air. You know exactly what's he's implying, deciding to stay quiet for a minute, taking your time applying the black nail polish and keeping your eye on it as it dries. Him chomping down oreo after oreo like he didn't just suggest what he did just makes you the more antsy. “So?“

He knows you're playing dumb. “It's an opportunity.“ He replies, simple and dry, making you scoff loudly.

“An opportunity to fucking ruin our lives, is what you mean.“ Before the words are even out of your mouth he's already sighing and throwing his arms up. 

“Come on, it's gonna be eas-“

“Easy? Are you out of your mind?“ You interrupt him, blood already boiling as you close down the nail polish and get out of bed. “Do you think this is some kind of movie, huh?“ 

You try to go to the bathroom so this argument won't last as long as it seems to and hopefully give him time to drop the stupid idea, but he doesn't let you. Stepping in front of you, you can smell the oreo coming from his mouth and it mixes with the nail polish making you want to be sick. “Please, baby. Listen to me.“ He pleads and you just roll your eyes. This is insane. He looks like he's going insane. “I have it all figured out, trust me.“ 

“Yeah? Like you are some crime genius, for fucks sake.“ You whisper yell and he bites his lips in anger, trying his best not to snap at you. It would only make it worse. “It's a dumb idea, you know it.“

“Jesus, I knew you would fucking flip on me.“ He walks away from you, pinching the bride of his nose before turning to you again. 

You don't even bother replying, stomping your way to the bathroom and locking the door as he tells you to stop being fucking crazy for a second. Before any of this, your fights with Jaehyun were always about trivial things, like him leaving the lights on when he went out or you using all the hot water before he could even shower. They were still intense, with screaming and door banging, but it always ended up with one of you giving in, showering the other with affection to make up for the harsh words said. This time would be no different. 

You sit on the closed toilet, watching the black polish on your toes dry for about 5 minutes before the knock on the door comes. “Hey, baby… I'm sorry, okay?“ He says with a sigh. “Didn't mean to snap at you but I really need you to hear me out.“ 

When you don’t reply he takes it as a sign to keep going, voice low and calm. “We should - need to get more money. the amount we have right now is only enough to like,  barely pay out our debts.” His words make you slightly nervous, and only thinking about the life before this sends shivers down your spine. “If we get more we can move out of that shithole, you know? Like we talked about. We just’ need to do this and then it will be over, I promise you.” 

Sometimes you like to think about this as a vacation. So far it felt like you were in a dream and none of your previous worries could touch you here. A dangerous line of thought, you knew that, but it was easier to not know the amount of money you had so far and what the mere implication of it going wrong would imply. You had let the hard parts for Jaehyun to take care of and now he throws it at your face, even if his soft voice and promises try to blind you from it. This won’t be over so fast, or at all. 

You get up too fast, vision going black and a sting hitting your head, so when you open the door the image of him is blurred. “Tell me about the plan.” Is all you say.

-

It's not the best weather for a weekend. The grey in the sky makes for a gloomy sunday but feel like it's perfect. You Are nervous, more than the last time and you can tell Jaehyun is as well, but he holds your sweaty palm in his for the entire ride as you try not to think about all the things that could go wrong. There's a lot, but you push then aside for now. 

The city is indeed vacant, just a few convenience stores open and in your mind you think that it would be much easier to just rob one of them, but Jaehyun had argued that it would take robbing 5 stores to get what you would in a bank. He's right, you assume. You wish you had a gun right now. 

When he parks just outside the back entrance to the bank you feel like puking the oreos you had as a breakfast and your head spins with how fast you're shaking. ”I should've stayed at the hotel.” You mutter and he gives you a look. 

”I need you here.” For what, you wonder. To drive the car if you need a quick escape? To hold the bag as he puts the money inside it? To tell him it's gonna be okay even if the your gut is telling you to get out of there right now? 

You just nod, putting on the black balaclava when he hands it to you. It constricts your breathing even more, making you feel light headed but you still follow him. 

The whole thing happens in 4 quick steps that feels like forever for you. 

Jaehyun manages to get the back door open without the alarms going off and you let out a breath that almost makes you choke. It goes according to the plan, making you wonder where he learned to do this and the only coherent answer is that Yuta taught him somehow. Then he's pacing around, balaclava covering his face as he enters a room and tells you to stay at the door. You stay frozen, heart beating in your ears in an almost deafening way. You feel like a decoy, not doing anything important but hold the bag tightly on your fists. 

It's about 30 minutes before Jaehyun is walking out, wads of cash on his hand and your head does a spin again. ”Come on, open the bag.” He rushes and you do as told on automatic. That's it? It shouldn't have been so easy, It can't be. 

He puts the money there and you can see he's shaking too. You wish you could see his face right now. ”It - It worked?” Your voice is hoarse and you look at him expectantly. Then it happens. Before he can answer the sound hits your ears. The most deafening alarm and the red lights lighting up the whole place. Jaehyun mutters a low fuck, and zips the bag in a rush. 

You knew something was wrong, nothing bad should ever be that easy. You mind rushes with thoughts of how the cops got there so fast and why the alarm didn't sound when you walked in. Your eyes land on the cameras and your curse both of you for being so dumb and not thinking of that. In the back of your panic you can see Jaehyun moving trying to do god knows what and telling you to move, but you're stuck in place, legs shaking and you're sure you would fall face into to the floor if you dared to walk. It's done, there's no coming back now. 

You can see Jaehyun's mouth moving through the black mask  when he comes closer to you, but the sound of alarms and sirens are too loud, deafening even. The red lights are much brighter now.  Your hand grips the bag you're holding with much more force than needed, and there's tears on your face that you cant feel right now but it just gives the moment the touch of drama it needs. Jaehyun rushes to you, the gun in his hand pointed upwards as he cups your face, the alarms still going off and the sirens getting louder by the minute. You try to read his lips but its like your mind can't process anything, like you're in a state of shock that nothing can pull you out off. 

Was it worth it? Your mind provides. Was any of it worth it? 

Right now, at the downfall, you can only think back to the basement apartment and the job that barely managed to put food on your mouth. The lack of life on Jaehyun's eyes and how it seemed almost gone the past days. 

And there's the answer. It was. It was all worth it.

He removes the balaclava from your head, throwing it somewhere before he's gripping your face again. He presses a kiss to your cheeks, before he whispers the words in your ear. You want to protest, to fight him, but he's much stronger than you, ripping the bag from your hands and making you drop to the ground as the cold barrel of the gun presses to the side of your head. You can finally feel the tears on your face. 

What happens next is a blur, the cops burst in, guns in hand and telling Jaehyun to drop the gun and put his hands where they can see it. He tells them he will kill you if they come any closer. For a minute you wish he would, just end it already. You just want it to be over. 

He lets them get him, being thrown to the floor as they handcuff him and you let out a sob as one officer pulls you up by the elbow. ”Its okay, miss. You're safe now.” Is what he says and you almost laugh between a muffled sob. It's pathetic how they fell into it. 

You cry all the way to the police station, body shaking, almost begging for them to sedate you already. Its too much for you. You think about Jaehyun and where they are taking him right now. You don't want to live in a world without him. 

They take you to a room that is all grey after examining for any injuries.. Theres a cup of tea on the table in front of you and an officer stares you up and down. You feel heavy, cheeks stained and a headache even though you have calmed down a lot by now. 

The officer clears his throat, getting your attention. ”We understand this is a delicate situation you are in, miss. So we won't take long with the questions.” He's being too nice and you want to scoff. ”We just need to understand what went on, is that okay?”

You nod and he continues, eyeing the paper in front of him. ”What we gathered from the ordeal is that the criminal by the name Jung Jaehyun kidnapped you, is that correct?”

You swallow a lump in your throat, remembering the words he had said before it went down. The lies he said would make it better. ”Y-yes.” You lie through your teeth, and the man in front of you writes it down. ”He told - He said he needed someone to - I don't know, it was all very confusing. I can't remember.”

“Did he assault or attempted to touch you in any wa-?”

“No!” You exclaim a bit too loudly and the man gives you a look. You clear your throat and try again. “No, he did not.” 

He writes that down too and you shift anxiously in your seat. “Well, that’s all we need for now. But we’ll have to keep you around a bit longer in case something comes up, I’m sorry about that.” 

“It’s ok.” You say and then your mind acts for itself. “Can I see him?” 

You had to try, even if it sent the whole plan to the space. You didn't know when or if you would ever be able to see him again, so you had to try. The officer looks at you with pity. “Afraid not.” He says kindly. “And you shouldn't want to either, that man could have hurt you.” 

There’s a pang in your heart when you hear those words but you just hum.

✸

Orange doesn’t suit him. 

It had been a year and half now but every time you saw him in the color, it made you want to throw up. He had been sent to a prison 15 minutes away from your city, and every 20 days they would allow you to go there and visit him. 

After 6 months of only being able to see him through the thick glass and hear his voice through the phone, they finally let you really see each other during the visits. It was bittersweet, seeing him in that place, where you should be as well. But being able to touch him and just see his face made it a little better. There was only 4 years to go now. 

”Hello, pretty.” He says when you sit down on the round table, across from him You are wearing the floral dress he likes so much and it makes him smile. You wish you could kiss him, but you satisfy yourself with holding his hands. 

”How have you been?” It's always the same question, but you always have to know. He has a bit of stubble going on that you think suits him very well.

”You know, same old, same old. Started reading that book you brought in last time.” Last time had been 5 weeks ago, because you couldn't contain yourself and started an argument and didn't want to see him for all that time. You both ignore that now, deciding to enjoy what little time you have together. ”Missed you like crazy.”

Longing. That's what his eyes are full of when he looks at you and your heart hurts the same way it did almost 2 years ago. The same way it hurts everyday. ”Please don't say that.” You whispers, avoiding his eyes.

Sometimes you wish you could just go back to that sketchy motel room in the middle of nowhere. With the champagne and the silk dress. But that was a long time ago and now you must pay the price for it. 

He changes the subject for you. ”Is Yuta treating you well?”

”Yeah, he's fine.” You had been staying with Yuta since it all happened, trying to stay as low as you possibly could in fear of the consequences of the lawsuit you got yourself in. Yuta had been nice enough to let you stay at his house, but you knew he felt a little guilty for guiding Jaehyun in that stupid plan. 

A man knocks on the glass door suddenly, signaling that your time is almost over, and Jaehyun's hold on your hand gets a bit tighter. 

”Promise me you'll come next time?” How could you say no when it hurts you just as much as it does him if you don't. ”Please.”

”I promise.” You say, squeezing his hand in return. ”I will do anything for you, Jae.”

That night when you lay down in bed you think back to the day he told you about the plan, how he held you in his arms as you cried. Back then you thought you would never feel  as miserable as that again. 

When you close your eyes you dream of lasagna leftovers, the taste of cigarettes on your lips and Jung Jaehyun with a gun on his hand.. 

[theravencawsatmidnight]

A Kings Touch...

Part Three

Reader is chosen to be Katsukis wife whos only purpose is to give him a son. He has lived for many many years and never once been given one forcing him to kill his wives and children. A curse has been out on him without his knowlege. And maybe you can finally break it.

Art by @knifeewifee 💕💞

Kirishima was a happy dragon; he knew all the ins and outs of the castle, every room, secret passageway and even the grounds. He told you all about how his life came to be at Katsuki Castle and why he chose to stay.

“Heh.. i was just a hatchling when he found me. I hatched later than my brothers and sisters and was left behind in the nest, broken eggs everywhere with no mother insight. “ he told you while he gave you a tour of the castle. “He could have killed me or sold me for money when he found me but instead he asked to make a deal with me.” Kirishima opened up a door on the lower level revealing the castle. “You'll cook here for Katsuki, he likes hot food”

You had not let go of this mans arm once, after everything that had happened you felt safest and the most calm with him. “Uhm.. the deal?” You asked, taking in the room.

“ ah! Yes.” Kirishima turned around to take you up the stairs . “Do whatever he says and be his dragon, and i get to live.” Another door. “The Kings washroom, make sure you do his back.”

You blinked a few times. “I .. i have to?”

“Yep! You are his wife, silly.” He led you out of the room to go down the hall, passing a door with heavy chains on it and nail marks. Kirishima tugged you from it, tapping your hand lightly. “No no, you cant go in there.”

“But what is?-“

Kirishima tugged you to him again, with force this time. “You can't go in there.”

“Ok..”

“Good! Now ! Lets see your room yeah?!” His smile re appeared and you looked back at the door .

••

Katsuki was in his throne room which was on the third floor, the entire third floor was his and his alone. Why he needed a wash room on the second floor and not the third was a question for another day. He was hunched over one with one hand on his knee, the other on his throne tapping impatiently. Fuckin witch always shows up at some point… just to make his life hell. This time it will be different . He will have a son. Even if he has to search for another bloody witch to put a spell on you. The witch that shows up now never held up her end of the bargain…

A stone cup was thrown against the castle wall and heavy heaving could be heard. “Fucking witch… i gave her what she wanted … “ he got up fixing his cape. “I will get what i want . I dont care if I have to keep killing“ Katsuki left his throne to go to the window where he saw you with Kirishima in the garden, you seemed to be admiring the Lunar Tears .

••

The room you would be occupying was actually not bad . It had everything you needed with a window overlooking the garden and a little town at the bottom of the hill. Kirishima was delighted that you liked the room, he kind of gloated saying he cleaned it up himself.

The moment was short lived though. Kirishima still had to go over your duties with you.

Kirishima joined you at the window to explain.

“As Katsukis wife you are expected to act like one. You dont have to worry about cleaning, the Help does that. But you are expected to cook and bathe him everyday. Not today though! Fridays are a day off. Fun right?”

His enjoyment in this was weird but you were not gonna call him out on it.

“And like all wives. You will satisfy him too and eventually give him a son”

“If .. if i dont?”

He turned to you taking your hand. “Then well. The curse was not broken and youll die along with your child.”

“But why… why this curse”

“Witches are…. finicky beings. She told Katsuki she would give him whatever he wanted if he gave her his very first born.. cursed him instead. To only have daughters.”

“His first born…”

“Was a boy yes.”

“Oh..”

“Eternal wealth can make people do crazy things . But!! I notice you admiring that garden want to go see?”

“I.. i can ?”

“Of course!”

••

Kirishima brought you out to the garden where the Lunar Tears were. It was lovely.. they were supposed to be magic flowers that did not need to be watered and would never die even if they get picked. It reminded you of the flower the King first gave you.

You sat down by the flowers admiring them for a few minutes, taking in the beauty of them. Kirishima took in a deep breath of the fresh air when Katsuki came up next to him , he looked angry still over the witch.

“Im. Hungry.” He said, loud enough for you to hear

You turned to the men with a flower bracelet on your wrist . “My.. da-“

“I dont care.” He told you.

Kirishima excused himself and you got up . “Uhm.. okay.. may i go into town? For supplies?”

“Whatever.” He turned leaving .

“Would you like to .. join me ? My King?”

Katsuki stopped , cocking his head to the right as he looked back at the innocent look on your face. The King ? Shopping? Unheard of… he grinded his teeth together thinking it over. Kirishima had stopped walking too so he could hear his Kings answer. A small smile appeared on his face once he heard it.

“Fine”

••