Tumgik
#why cant you just hold my hand and see where it goes because im not one to let people go
leviathanspain · 2 years
Text
little hell
Tumblr media
finnick odair x reader
synopsis: you wished more than anything that he had left you to die in that arena, because nothing could hurt more than seeing him with her
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
watching their ceremony had felt like you had drank poison. a burning fire had been brewing in your abdomen, and as they kissed, you had to swallow the bile that threatened to come out.
finnick had turned to face the onlookers, and smiled as he held annie’s hand. only you could notice the smile faltering as he gazed over you, and you looked down, not wanting to look at him any longer.
you had abandoned the wedding early, excusing yourself with the pain in your leg, that hadn’t bothered you since your days in the infirmary, but it was good enough.
you fought tears until you got behind closed doors, where with the commotion of the celebration, hid away the noises of your sobs. finnick knew, and you too had known, that annie would always hold a flame to his heart, but it was you who allowed yourself to fall in love, and it was him who gave you the hope.
days later, a soft knock on your door rang out and finally you had peeled yourself out of your bed to answer it. you couldn’t hide your surprise when you saw it was katniss, looking pale in her grey jumpsuit.
you let her in without question, and moved to sit on your bed, with katniss closing the door behind her.
you raised an eyebrow, “katniss. honestly you’re the last person i would expect to be here.”
katniss didn’t say anything for a moment, until finally, “i doubt you expected anyone at all.” you let out a bitter laugh, and nodded, “i suppose you are correct.”
katniss nodded, “but i’m not. finnick has been asking about you.”
you scoffed, “why does he even care? he’s a married man, he’s with her..” you trailed off, “im just here, the other woman..” you trailed off, and katniss swallowed thickly.
“i cant say anything for him,” she admitted, “but i will say that he is horrible for what he did- and how he lied to you both.” you nodded, forgetting completely about annie, who was oblivious to his indiscretions.
katniss had stayed with you for another moment, where she sat in a comforting silence.
finnick had been looking for you throughout the compound. he had hug onto annie as she did to him, but his eyes would still clear a room looking for you.
he had finally found you, and pulled himself away from annie with just a good enough excuse.
he made his way to you, and you turned to meet his eyes. you rolled your eyes, and sharply turned back on your heel, your feet carrying you to somewhere you didn’t even know you were going.
finnick called your name, desperation in his voice, you felt him hot on your feet. without thinking, he grabbed your arms, and threw you against the wall.
you gasped, and turned to see no one had even batted an eye at his slight aggression, but you were now in no position to ignore him.
finnick swallowed, looking down, “i’m sorry. for having to do this but you won’t talk to me otherwise.” you nodded your head slightly, and sighed, “and?” finnick inhaled, “i should have told you about annie. i- i don’t know what i was thinking.”
“i don’t either finnick. if you had any fucking brains, you would’ve left me to die out there, so you wouldn’t have to see my face around here, and feel that guilt.” you felt your eyes rim with tears, and you sniffled, “you should’ve killed me. done the mercy, finnick. and there’s not a day that goes by that i don’t hate you for what you didn’t do.”
finnick exhaled, and his voice felt shaky, as did his grip on your hands, “i know. i should’ve told you about annie, i should’ve stopped it but-“ he shrugged, “i love you.” he whispered.
you blinked and tears fell onto your cheeks, “you cant say that. you cant say that!” you pulled your arms free and threw him back. finnick fell back onto the wall and stared at you in shock, “you don’t get to fucking say that.” you yelled, and felt yourself heat with anger.
you shook your head, giving finnick one last look before you left him there.
3K notes · View notes
ribread03 · 5 months
Text
Matt Sturniolo Head cannons
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
matt sturniolo x reader, use of y/n, head cannons, what I think it would be like dating Matt
warning smut talk at these bullets ◈
AN: so this is the first thing Im really putting on the internet that is from my brain lol. I've posted edits on my TikTok that's a fan page for them ri.bead03 (shameless plug here lol). But I hope you enjoy this and even if you don't I still think this is going to be fun lol.
◆ Matt really likes the outdoors so he takes you on hikes and on picnics all of them time just the two of you and nature. Taking you out to public places aren't really his thing.
◆ He loves being around you when your comfortable with who your around and seeing the true side of you. He loves hearing your true laugh and when you smile and show off your teeth.
◆ He really likes cats. All animals really-cats, dogs, fish, deer- but cats really stick out to him. you like to think it's because he relates to them and how sometimes they like to be around people and sometimes they just sleep the day away and don't see anyone at all.
◆ He loves to cuddle. He just likes to be touching or hugging you at all times. It doesn't matter what time or day or where you guys are at he's always asking you if he can hold your hand or hug you.
◆ He cant cook and you think its the cutest thing ever but he hates that he cant provide for you even tho he does in more way than one.
◆ He is always asking to talk and tell you about the way he is feeling and wanting to know what is going on in your life as well. He always wants to know why your upset or why you could be mad at him, wanting to know what he can fix about something he is doing.
◈ Matt is a switch in bed, he loves being the top and having you become a moaning mess unraveling beneath him
◈ Matt loves when you take over in bed becoming possessive and telling him what to do.
◈ Matt loves when you squirt. He loves when you make a mess with your juices praising you when you do. "you did so good for me y/n" "God you're such a good girl I could cum again just from you squirting around me"
◈ When you are the dom to Matt he loves when you ride him, he loves seeing your tits bounce as you ride him. You telling him to hold him orgasm as you ride to your high.
◈ Matt loves when you scream his name, it makes him crazy.
◆ Matt loves driving you around and taking you from store to store, even if he stays in the car he refuses to let you pay when you go out. He is always handing you his card saying "no limit" "go crazy babe". He loves to spoil you rotten.
◆ When Matt goes out to film a Friday video he always makes sure to text you when they get to the parking lot, when they start and stop filming, and when they are on the way home.
◆ (if you read) Matt loves going to the book store with you. He likes the calm atmosphere and calming smell of books. He's always buys the ones you touch even if you put them down he's asking " are you sure princess? I don't mind getting it." He will always take the books from you and carry them around the store for you and all the way out to the car as well.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
AN pt. 2: Ok I hope you guys liked that lol. also if you want any of these kinda turned into a fic I will try my best with that lol. let me know what you think, if anything could be improved and what not. OKAY BYE LOVE YOU! thank you for reading :) :)
171 notes · View notes
seattlesellie · 1 year
Note
HIHIHIHIHI CAN PLS U WRITE SOMETHING LIKE THIS https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cq4ZwkQJLEM/?igshid=MTIyMzRjYmRlZg==
ELLIE WOULD DEFINITELY DO THIS JUST TO ANNOY AT U FIRST THEN IT KINDA JUST STUCK AROUND
PLELALALSE anon this is so silly and so ellie coded 😭
Tumblr media
laying in bed with ellie, just chilling and watching tv, probably family guy (i hq ellie as being a cartoons lover. i already said shed be a sucker for spongebob…. shed probably be like “im sooo squidward dude” when she’s literally spongebob in human form) laying on her chest while shes caressing your head <3 listening to her cackling at silly jokes and throwing out random “that was so funny” and “babe did you hear that? you’re literally meg” which makes you go like????? what are you talking about. you can feel yourself slowly doze off, eyelids becoming heavier and heavier, no longer focused on the screen. now, ellie usually gets pissed when you fall asleep because she wants you to stay awake with her, she has this thing where if she shows you something, whether its a show or a movie she likes she would quite literally stare at you the entire time to see your reaction, like if you dont laugh at something she finds to be the most hilarious thing in the world (watching superbad with her was an experience) she would literally roll her eyes at you and get mad 😭 (this one time she was fully side eyeing you throughout an entire one and a half hour movie and you were like “ELLIE i can see you looking at me”)
but, you look so peaceful and cute laying on her that she almost doesnt nudge you, almost lets you be and allows you to sink in to a deep sleep…. almost. but its ellie. and she cant. so she pokes you lightly till you open your eyes and shes just fixated on you. she looks so serious and goes like “babe. i have something super duper fucking important to tell you” and youre all concerned and ask her what happened. n she almost feels bad but she pulls you in to sit next to her.
“i need to do something” she says w her raspy voice and youre gone because why the hell is her voice so dreamy?
she slowly moves her face closer to yours, puts her hand on your cheek and kisses you. and its so sweet and so delicate, that its almost believeable that this is the only thing she wanted to do.
“awww…” you peck her again. “just wanted a kiss?”
shes like, swallowing in her grin now. and she looks so stupid because god knows ellie cannot hold her laugh like, ever.
“mhhm” she says, and she moves closer to kiss you again. this time, she just BLOWS HER FUCKING LUNGS OUT INTO YOUR MOUTH and bursts out laughing like a fucking idiot. youre stood there like 😨 and shes wheezing “oh my god - you should see your face dude” wiping away her dumbass ellie tears. safe to say ellie keeps doing that over and over again till one day you decide to do it back to her, which makes her go like “woah… did you just” looking like a kicked puppy 😭
801 notes · View notes
lovemyromance · 5 months
Note
idk why but i think itll be forced if gwyn and az get together. Like say elain accepts the bond and gets with lucien and azriel knows he has to step back and then suddenly he likes gwyn and they started to form a bond and get together. like... no. thats not it at all. like at least do some type of slowburn for gwynriel if elain and lucien get together. (Idk why but I keep thinking itll be like a forcing thing if elain and luc get together because they know they are mates. LIKE IT JUST WONT HIT THE SAME) But, I think thats why im so built up on elriel and cant fully ship the other ships because theres nothing for me to fully ship.
My meeting got cancelled just now and I'm in a silly goofy mood so let me just say this: if I were SJM and I for some reason DID intend to write Elucien or Gwynriel, I would not have done it this way. I don't think any writer would've done it this way.
The way the books are currently written, it is a clear setup for Elriel. People who deny that are those who still hold out hopes for their preference of ship, but the writing does not support that. It has not supported that since ACOWAR.
Not that I am in any way SJM equivalent but here's how I would've done it, starting from ACOWAR, which was when she started actively planning Nesta & Elain's spinoffs. (And this is in no way Anti Lucien or Gwyn. But I'm tagging it anti because I don't want them getting any ideas lmaooo)
1. The second they got back to the Spring Court, have Lucien grow a backbone and tell Tamlin he's going after Elain. Not simply "Get her back" but "I'm getting her back." (Ring any bells?)
Not wait for Feyre to leave and tag along to see if Elain was "worth fighting for", not simply think about how Elain had been thrown at him, not even think about Jessiminda. I would've had Lucien take action himself. He would've left to go after Elain immediately, and Feyre would've followed HIM - or waited till she got the spring court fucked up and then followed him.
2. Have Lucien be patient with Elain. Have more than just one awkward conversation with Elain. Have Feyre observe multiple moments between them. Have Elain slowly soften to him or get used to his presence. Have Lucien sit in the garden with Elain. Have him frown at her words and bring them up to Feyre and actually try to help her. But most importantly I would've had Lucien figure out her powers. (Sound familiar? Good. It should.)
3. Have Azriel go volunteer to find Vassa, not Lucien. Perhaps he goes into the library to research (starting the foundation for Gwynriel very subtly). Have Lucien join the IC as they fight at SC, have Lucien join them at the HL meeting. Have Lucien go into an angry rage at seeing Graysen and how that man's words hurt his mate. Have him comfort Elain and say "I'll wait - however long it takes."
4. Have Lucien save Elain from Hybern's camp. Have Lucien go feral and break the wards around the camp - setting up for his parentage plotline - and winnow in and save her. Have Elain kiss his cheek. Have Elain finally see him in a different light. (Wow where have I seen this before?)
5. Have Elain willingly invite him to Velaris at the end of ACOWAR. Have Lucien take her up on that offer.
6. In ACOFAS, have Elain & Lucien get each other presents. Elain does not get Azriel a gift, just Lucien. She appreciates the gardening gloves. Gets Lucien ... a fishing rod or hair tie or something idk "here's a rod: for all the fish that you catch with your hands" 🤣🤣🤣 Lucien laughs and Feyre thinks "wow I've never seen him so happy"
7. Continue to develop their relationship in the background of ACOSF. Lucien offers to help Elain train her powers in the background (idk how he would but still). He is there at solstice and gets her another gift. Cassian thinks Elain is sneaking around with him but won't admit it. Lucien goes with them to Hewn city and gifts Elain a dress that suits her better and is from the Day court or whatever. There's a bonus chapter with LUCIEN's POV where Elain & Lucien are about to kiss but they get interrupted and Lucien feels bad he pushed her too far so he says sorry this was a mistake. Miscommunication trope ensues.
8. After ACOSF, start their book with a major conflict that comes up immediately. For some reason, Lucien & Elain go to Day court to research and train her powers - maybe they have a Seer there idk. make something up, a la CC3 translation bean. Their friendship has been steadily growing since ACOWAR, and now it turns to love.
I would've set Elucien up for a slow burn, friends to lovers romance from the second Elain got chucked out that cauldron.
But again, SJM did not write it that way. She wrote all those key pivotal moments with Elriel, not Elucien. It would've been so easy to do the storyline above. It would've made us root for them more by the time their book came around. Lucien was a main character since book 1 (before he fell off) so their story would've been eagerly anticipated.
And I could do this same thing for Gwynriel, but she didn't exist until ACOSF so it would be much much shorter and basically would be Nesta noticing ACTUAL romantic moments between Gwyn & Azriel (not "bye Shadowsinger" or "you're new ribbon Az" but actual romantic attraction - like Azriel physically helping Gwyn cut the ribbon and touching her - with her consent ofc - and Gwyn blushing at him). Like - do the antis realize how EASY that would've been? I dare say it would've been easier for SJM to write Gwynriel than any moment with Elriel at that point in ACOSF, because Nesta spent more time with Gwyn.
There's absolutely no way SJM wrote the books this way with all this Elriel buildup, just so she could have a shock factor (?) of "Elain & Lucien are mates but she avoids him for 3 books and gets with Azriel but SURPRISE- Elucien is actually endgame! And Az gets with Gwyn!"
That just doesn't make any sense. At all.
75 notes · View notes
f0linasahl0 · 6 months
Text
more things about the livestream experience before i go completely insane.
(warning: this is going to be a long one)
1: why is [bishop] lisden's favorite song mulberry street and why is [bishop] sacarver's favorite (if i remember) the outside or stressed out....i just want to throw that out there
2: i absolutely adore the piano spread whatever thing tyler does before he goes and raps to migrane. i dont know what its called but when he runs his hand across the piano, it was good. how did he make it sound so good and musical...
3: why is the shy away livestream version the only livestream version that is on their official "the story" playlist??? i keep thinking about that (https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL3roRV3JHZzaU_kQ4-7uv-ahPbFabFmRW)
4: also thinking about how they cut off holding onto you before the outro. basically all there was of holding onto you was the "entertain my faith" part...thinking about the lore THERE. how a "good day dema" ad cut off the ending as well then they talk about how happy they are !! then how it goes to mulberry street after dan LISDEN says its his favorite then how it goes so blurry BEFORE THE AD??? ----"entertain my faith" sounds something like he..wants more from the religion but they cut him off from continuing the rest of holding onto you..like he got in trouble or something? i dont know man
5: "dema is bringing you this music collection that is vibrant with saturation"... "dema wants you to enjoy this collection"..."i just felt trapped before having this collection" ... "contentment"...."now that youve heard some of this collection you must be just like us, completely saturated"..."sometimes i close my eyes to try to escape...you know you cant escape sally...yes i know!" PROPAGANDA
6: why is he holding and grabbing his head so much. past the literal deadpan ass stare hes got through the majority if not all of the experience (like even while doing his little dances you'd think he'd be smiling during...), why does he grip his head so often-- i talked about this before but like what are they doing to him man he like grips his head in almost pain so much
7: also thinking about what the lore implications of jenna and debby being in this...because im pretty sure its shown jenna in levitate is a bandito i only assume debby was one too. why are they there?? were they caught too? or did dema make clones of them to use against josh and tyler?
8: "i cant wait to see you again"
9: ”in a world where this is as good as it gets…we miss you. we really do.”
10: also can we discuss the "CONTROLLED by" dma org and good day dema??? this photo is blurry as hell but CONTROLLED BY! not PRODUCTION OF! specific word choice..also dma org...dmaorg.info...why are clancy's letters posted on a website thats directly correlated with dema...letters from his time inside as well as time outside...can we like talk about that--like other than the obvious showcase that they have his letters and are using them to lie to the people, why are they going through dmaorg?? if clancy isnt directly with dema why are they--why are they going through there???
Tumblr media
11: the whole cutscene before lane boy "there was a wonderful structure to the city that put my cares to rest and the responsibilities of the day seemed to be accomplished with minimal effort. once a task was taught and understood, our obligations timely, and it felt secure knowing tomorrows duties would be accomplished with the same efficiency. we all worked to represent our bishop with honor knew that each inhabitant of our region had a like-minded dedication to consistency....why do i kneel to these concepts? tempted by control, control by temptation. stay low, they say. stay low," then the direct contradiction of the redecorate rap he inserts, “with the bells and the whistles scaled back like an isolated track, and he feels trapped when he's not inebriated fair to say he's fairly sedated most days of the week. he might have made it if he lived on a different street. i repeat, scaled back and isolated he says he likes an open schedule but he mostly hates it if you're running to his room, take a breath before you break-in put your ear up to the door, tell me can you hear him saying?” using clancy's letters to show praise to dema then clancy (tyler) directly contradicting being like "no i hold zero praise for this city" and saying how hes isolated and sedated when hes not preforming--how he ALMOST made it out. how if he lived A LITTLE closer to the walls he wouldnt be there right now-
12: the way the old songs are "SCALED BACK AND ISOLATED" ???? A SCALED BACK AND ISOLATED TRACK????
13: the way ned is missing in chlorine when he was such a big part of chlorine
14: AGAIN this shy away version. one-why is it so important to the story, two-the 9 chairs for 9 bishops around the table, three-i fucking love the guitarist by josh i love his energy, four-THE WAY HE BREAKS A GLASS WHEN TALKING ABOUT BREAKING THE CYCLE IN HALF???, THE SCREAM !!!! so many things
[so many things you guys]
15: the fucking bishop ass dancers to stressed out....can we discuss that too. ALSO HOW THEY DRAG HIM TO THE NEXT STAGE FOR STRESSED OUT?
16: "but remember you should- *cut off*" YOU SHOULD WHAT SALLY SACARVER????
17: also firstly, how beautiful the ukulele part was...it was so gorgeous, also the transition was amazing. though past that, can we talk about how fucking sad he looked on that little boat with his uke? was that a mock to his escape attempts? to him singing to an empty sky in trench? singing to the banditos as they boat someplace safer? like...
18: THE MOCKING OF THE BANDITOS WITH THE FUCKING JUMPSUIT/HEAVYDIRTYSOULD PART?? why would dema do that? why would the bishops actively make josh and tyler look like the banditos if it wasn't just a mock? they dont like the banditos i thought why would they have them dressed up like that? like torchbearer bringing the torch to the stage and the look josh has on his face-then tyler also being in a bandito outfit. like--it has to be mocking his attempts. mocking the banditos or SOMETHING
19: heathens being in the livestream makes me think a little too but i dont know. "all my friends are heathens take it slow, wait for them to ask you who you know. please dont make any sudden moves you dont know half of the abuse."
20: also first, what was that alarm that was sounded before never take it? what happened there? second, the lore people have posted about never take it and how it was about the bishops? the way it was played while the alarm was going off and it was almost messier filming...
21: HIM ENDING THE LIVESTREAM WITH "nobody's coming for me" and his deadpan look (sobbing)
22: again, bringing up sally sacarver and dan lisden. sacarver and lisden being bishop's names and hosting this livestream. then showing directly how the bodies they are controlling are deteriorating as the show goes on. "The rules are that you can only seize or control a dead body, and only for a short while."
23: also just the heavydirtysoul part. starting to think about the: "I tricked Nico into taking me outside the walls. I created a fiery diversion. I escaped." i just keep thinking about that and:
Tumblr media
24: "we've come for you, we've got people on the way, no chances, none at all" the way this is direct quotes from dan and sally, who are bishops, and it is also direct lyrics (or close to direct lyrics) from no chances. it just keeps cementing itself on everything ive already thought about
25: past just the livestream experience what is with josh and the bucket hat lol. i love it but like.-
26: "you ask me if its real, i see your shifting eyes, you dig in your heels, i dig my hole to die" also wondering why the "live from the outside" version is here rather than the original.-is it important
27: his little dances are my favorite thing-
28: CAR RADIO...car radio. thats it thats the point. just the car radio part is everything to me--its giving old car radio performances and im living for it. though also old car radio performances? did they put it together like that on purpose?
29: NEVER TAKE IT HAVING A BURNING CAR HOLY SHIT FIREY DIVERSION? LMAO just how close he is to the camera during this too...so many thoughts
30: "...you know you cant escape sally...yes i know!" IS THIS LIVESTREAM SHOWING CLANCY AND HOW HE DIDN'T ESCAPE EITHER?? SHOWING THAT HE HAS BEEN CAUGHT AND IF HE CANT ESCAPE, THE NOTORIOUS CLANCY, THEN YOU CANT EITHER???! SO MANY THOUGHT!!
[sorry for how long this is-]
DID THIS SHOW HOW MANY THOUGHTS I HAVE HERE. im going insane like i keep thinking about the lore implications of this goddamn livestream. i have more points (i will make a essay list whatever for it all so i don't go any crazier) but this is already a lot for one post. just wanted to like...throw this out there. i know some might be a stretch but please just hear me out. just hear me out :,)
26 notes · View notes
Text
SPEAK FOR YOURSELF
CHAPTER 16: WOOYOUNG
wc: 5242
warnings: mention of death, violence, drugs etc, SMUT
prev chapter
***
san
i remembered that wooyoung was afraid. he was scared of what would happen if miss A ever found out he shot mingi and deliberately antagonized a hotshot black dragon. looking back, i thought the black dragons would be anatagonized anyway because we caused shit in their side of town to get yunho back, it shouldnt be this big of a deal.
so why are so many bad things happening?
i didnt go to school today. i emailed all my teachers a forged sick note, claiming i couldnt leave the house because i went to the doctor and got diagnosed with sinisitic dizzy spells. most of my teachers are really helpful and good people, so they sent me the work they did for the day so i wouldnt miss out.
being a 'delight to have in class' aka a quiet smart kid who wasnt a pain in the ass had its perks sometimes. regardless, i used my morning to get all my money ready, of which i had just over enough to go to miss A to get her off my back.
when i get there, the place is crawling with old gangsters. miss A is screaming at people and when she sees me she's shocked, as if surprised i actually had guts to show my face. shes propped behind a round steel table in her garage, leaning back in her chair and the room goes silent as her eyes are on me.
"look who it is," she says to me, dipping her cigarette in her ashtray. "Lucky, you better have good news for me."
i bow to her and put the potato sack of money on the table. unfortunately i didnt have anything really fancy like a briefcase. im a fucking gangster on a budget.
she glares at me. "potatoes? is this some kind of joke?"
three guys restrain me out of nowhere, holding a knife under my throat. my breath gets stuck in my throat and i only manage to force out one thing. "m-money."
she doesnt tell them to let me go, which pisses me off. what the hell did i do to make her this mad? she lifts the opening of the sack and only when she sees the cash does she wave the gangsters to get off of me.
they drop me so hard i fall with my butt on the floor and i make no real move to get up in case they jump me again. instead i get to kneeling. "miss A, that's the money from all the dealings."
"i can see that. oh wow, you actually decided to be useful," miss A says, getting up and coming up to me. she puts her hand down on my hair and gently scratches it like you would a dog and i struggle to not show any fear. "if only wooyoung could be like you."
her words make me sweat. "where is wooyoung, miss A?"
i swear, if she laid a hand on him. i dont know what i would do, but no one here, including me, would be left alive.
her eyes darken. "i was actually hoping you would tell me, Lucky. your brother has become a magician. a cold case."
she doesnt know? did wooyoung actually skip town?
"i told him to bring me the hand of who killed my boys or else i would have his. he hasnt been back in days."
fuck. this is bad. im actually starting to get dizzy.
someone rolls into the garage, and my face drops in horror at the man and his disfigured, burnt face. hes in a wheelchair, an armbrace and has a bandage wrapped over everything but his mouth and eyes.
"you and your buddy got changbin and a lot of good boys killed. look what they did to seonghwa." miss A says.
that's fucking seonghwa? he looks fucked. hes never recovering. he wouldve been better off dead. now he really looks like something out of a horror movie, a real, terrifying disfigured butcher.
"that hongjong motherfucker," miss A laughs but there's nothing joyful in it. "he came into MY warehouse, burnt MY cargo, killed MY men. and all because he was looking for you two."
im struggling to breathe. i dont show it but im silently breaking down. i cant take my eyes off seonghwa. thats it? thats my future? i might as well kill myself. seonghwa killed yunho, he was one of the topdogs in the gang. im fucking nothing. if thats what that hongjoong guy could do to him then its over for me.
"he said that?" is all i can get out. miss A lifts my chin and forces me to look at her.
"you're not a boy anymore, Lucky. you'll always be a baby in my eyes, but its time for you to get serious, dont you think?" she tells me. "wooyoung is gone. so someone has to fix this. you know the rules, you make a mess, and you clean it up."
"miss A-" i start stammering. i feel like im going to cry. "we didnt do anything. we never even met that hongjoong guy. wooyoung shot mingi because he tried to kill him. it was in self defence."
"did i ask for an account of what happened?" miss A's voice drips with sarcasm. "i dont care who did what. but my boys paid the price. i wont let an attack on my turf go unpunished. you find wooyoung and you two will go and kill that fucker or i'll have you swimming in a fishtank with the rest of yunho. am i clear?"
fuck no. fuck my life is over. i just started having sex and now i have to die. this is a fucking nightmare.
"yes, ma'am," i nod my head. "when do you want this done?"
"before my boys suffer another attack. he wants you, so let him come."
"you won't find him," seonghwa says and he sounds like a lays packet trying to talk. his voice is raspy and sounds terrible. "he only shows when he wants to be found. and he wanted to be found that day. so make him come to you."
i dont want him anywhere near me! i want to scream. look at what the fuck he did to you.
i have to run away. i have to do it tonight. i have to take everything. i cant think clearly, my brain is beating so hard i can feel it in my ears.
i nod and get up and miss A distractedly starts counting the money. "so you got the money fast. i always knew you could do it, you were just lazy before, yeah?"
i had help, i want to say. yaera's stealing, her savings, wooyoung stealing all mingi's gambling winnings, fucking jongho. i couldnt have done this on my own. i would have been dead by the end of this month.
i did all that, just to stay alive. only to have another target on my head. this...it never fucking ends. its only going to get worse. i cant win. this game, its unbeatable.
i almost want to laugh out of pure irony. and yaera wanted me to ask miss A for a fixed amount. she wanted to help me pay off my dads bullshit debt. im never going to be free.
my hopes and dreams are gone.
"you still have your dad's gun right?" miss A asks me. i say yes in the smallest voice.
she smiles. "you better get to using it then, Lucky."
i leave miss A's garage with nothing left in the tank. nothing but another assignment. an assignment that will kill me.
im the sacrificial fucking lamb. why is she doing this to me? because she thinks i can do it? because she wants to get rid of me? i did what she asked of me. i got her yunho. i got her the drug money. now she wants me to kill an assassin? an assassin that already has a bodycount of seven?
and hes brutal. four of those were other gangsters, luckily none of those were ours at the time, but he guts every one of his enemies. he was connected to a murder of a prostitute. and cut out the stomachs and sliced off the hands of two guys who apparently looked at his sister.
what the FUCK am i getting into.
i get home and i dont know what to do. everything comes crashing down on me. i throw my fist into the picture frames on the wall, sending glass bursting everywhere. i look at the picture of my parents, feeling nothing but burning hatred. i hate them both. i hate my mother for leaving me behind in this shit life and i fucking hate that bullshit excuse of a sperm donor for killing me.
he killed me. he signed my death sentence.
i start tearing everything apart. im ripping my apartment to shreds because nothing matters. this is all useless, nothing, i wouldnt fucking miss this place. i have nothing but awful memories here. but my anger doesnt last. it comes crashing down so fast that im left to collapse next to my bed and i cant stop myself from crying.
its over for me. everything is.
i had nothing to begin with. nothing except...
without even thinking, my bleeding hand reaches for my phone on my desk and calls her. she picks up on the first ring.
"san?" her voice is comforting and i dont know why. i dont fucking know this girl. she doesnt know me. but shes all i have. and i dont even reall have her. "are you okay? you never call me."
i cant even speak, im heaving into the microphone and sniffling uncontrollably.
"san?" she sounds more concerned. oh shes concerned for me. thats nice. i'll remember how nice it feels when i die.
"c-can you come over, please?"
i dont even recognize my voice. its cracking and its like the pained whimper of an animal. she puts off the phone and i wrap myself around my bedsheets, curling into a pathetic ball.
shes here within 15 minutes. i dont know how she got here so fast. she was supposed to be at school. it was still one period before lunch. she must have been skipping. i wish i skipped more class now that i know im not going to live very long. studying all that shit was pointless. i should have been living like her. like i dont have a care in the world. but i cant. and i never could.
she walks into my apartment with her eyes wide, dropping her blazer off her shoulders and onto my dirty floor. "what the hell happened? are you okay?" she runs and puts herself infront of me.
"did someone break in?" she holds my wet face. i never stopped crying. not once. she looks horrified seeing me this way. i cant imagine how bad i must look. "oh my god."
she hugs me. she hugs me and i grip her so tightly till i feel my lungs tighten. the tears are pouring harder now. im staining her white blouse.
"im going to die," i choke out. "they're going to kill me."
"what?" she gasps. "who?"
i try to speak but i dont stop crying. this is fucking awful. she shushes me and lets me continue, rubbing my hair in the softest way that makes me hope i wont die, just so that i'd experience it more than once.
"im here, dont worry."
of course you are. you're always here. always invading my apartment. always working on my nerves. always in my head since i fucking met you. i wish i didnt take that for granted for as long as i did. if i knew this was all i'd have left.
i dont know what possesses me. i pull away from her, my hands drift up to the buttons of her blouse. im careful so she knows i wont hurt her the way he did. she watches my bleeding knuckles, looking at me with tender eyes. she doesnt stop me. i flick open the first button as she stands above me.
"can i?" i choke out. "this is all i have."
she starts removing her own buttons. "you dont even have to ask," she tells me.
she trusts me so much. if this is all i have left then i dont want to destroy it.
she drops her blouse, revealing her bronze, skin bare skin and black bra. the sun in my blinds isnt doing her justice. i reach behind her and unclip her bra and her boobs spill out right in my face. her skin is warm. shes so warm. she lifts my ugly brown hoodie off my body, trailing her hand down my stomach.
her touch feels like satin. i dont deserve it. she doesnt deserve this.
"i-i dont want to use you as a coping mechanism," i tell her but im talking to a wall. i dont want to but i am. im going to die and all i want to do is fuck her one last time. there isnt enough time in the world.
she kisses me sorely, with way too much emotion for what we really are. two broken, fragile people. we have no business with each other, but she kisses me like i mean something.
"for you, san, i'd let you use me however you want," she whispers against my lips. "as long as its you."
i feel my heart pain. i want to cry again but my dick is hard and i can only focus on two things at once. so i deal with my boner first.
i slide down her thin, pink underwear from under her skirt and it drops to her ankles. she steps out of it and pulls my sweatpants out from under me, immediately sliding herself onto my dick.
she moans softly into my ear and it feels like heaven. shes like heaven wrapped in one complicated woman. she could destroy me. she could ask to end me and i would let her.
i'd rather it be you than anyone else.
i grip her softly and my hands are stinging but i dont care. i feel weak. but somehow with her here, it doesnt hurt as much. shes riding me slowly, its crazy how without any foreplay shes already drenched down there. i guess she does like me a little.
she peppers kisses all over my neck as i hold her up, losing my mind as she slowly sinks and rises onto me. i never fucking liked our stupid school uniform but seeing it on her like this, with her on me, just makes me lose my mind. jongho doesnt fucking know what he missed out on.
"you know i care about you right?" she whispers into my ear. "its about more than just the money. you know that right?"
my lips her are on her chest and i kiss her there slowly. "i know," i mutter. actually i didnt know that. i dont know what the fuck she sees in a dickhead like me.
"good," she says, then pushes me down to my back. she adjusts herself to straddle me properly but i cant watch her struggle to please me. i get back up and flip her under me, pushing her back down gently when she tries to protest.
"but-"
"i want you to feel the way you make me feel," i say. and i never thought i'd ever utter words like that. fuck, no wonder everyone thought i was gay.
i drag my lips down her perfect, sculpted torso and plant them onto her shivering, wet hole. she whimpers weakly as i stick my tongue inside, slowly impaling her with it. i dont care that im taking my time honestly. im going to die, so i might as well make this as long as it can.
i drink up her bitter juices, lapping my tongue across her slit. the moans she lets out are otherworldly, definetely worthy of a noise complaint. i dont mind it. i feel useful for once in my life. i slowly inch a finger into her warm hole, sucking on her pleasure button while im at it. i'd call it her clit, but thats too rough for me.
"san please," she begs. "i want you so bad, just fuck me already."
i stop at her request, getting up and over her. i line myself at her entrance, pushing in slowly. she throws her arms around my neck and the eye contact we have as i just lay there inside her is enough to make me drop it all. i'd drop it all and leave with her, wherever she wanted to go.
her hole feels like home. my dick fits perfectly inside her. its warm and hugs me and i cant get enough of it. i push in and out slowly, taking in her eyes. they havent left mine. her lips are parted in bliss, and i decide to kiss them. she moans into my mouth, and it feels like a fucking spell being casted on me. i accelerate the pace, and the lewd sounds of her squelching and our breaths syncing up are all that can be heard.
it turns around so fast. im fucking into her at a pace thats desperate. like if i fuck her any slower, its going to get taken away from me. everything will. her legs are wrapped around my waist and she clenches on me, as if she doesnt want me to ever leave. i dig my fingers into her skin, holding onto dear life as i feel myself getting closer.
"wait," she breathes. "i wanna do it standing up."
i pause mid stroke. "how?"
"against the wall. lift me."
i go along with it. we get up and she lays with her back against the wall, lifting her leg so i can put it in. i pick her up and she slides onto me perfectly, and this new angle makes my brain go foggy. its so much deeper and tighter, i can feel her soak onto me.
i start ramming into her against the wall and her hair is hanging down her face, making her look like a sexier version of the grudge. she looks utterly lost in it all, and its so enjoyable to watch. i feel like im doing something right seeing her looked so absolutely fucked out.
my legs grow weaker as i hit her walls, feeling myself getting closer to the edge. shes demanding, with her legs wrapped around me she wont stop till ive been emptied.
"you're so fucking perfect," she whisper-whines, and its enough for me to blow. i completely blow inside her and she creams on me at the same time, our juices mixed together like some fucked up smoothie.
i drop her and she doesnt remove her arms from my neck. instead she pulls my body towards her, till we're chest to chest, completely naked amd kisses me harder than she ever has before.
this isnt even because we're fucking. she just wants to do it. and honestly, i needed it so badly.
when she pulls away im left yearning for more. it makes me sick. "thank you," i tell her. "i needed this."
"i know," she says softly. "tell me everything."
***
after i tell yaera everything, we're sitting on the bed beside each other, a painful, weighing silence between us.
"what are you going to do?" she asks, sounding hopeless.
"i have to kill the guy. or miss A's going to kill me."
"the police?" she says but knows immediately it wont work.
"i'd die before miss A sees trial," i laugh emptily. "and i'd go to jail for sure. she has enough on me to make sure i'm wanted."
she's frowning. she's realizing money cant buy my freedom. or my life.
"after you kill that gangster...nothing will be the same," she says. "you'd have blood on your own hands."
i shrug and stare out of my window. "it ends here, yaera. for both of us."
she stands up abruptly and looks like she wants to break into sobs. "no you can't disappear after this. i still need you."
i smile weakly. hearing that makes me feel better. someone will miss me.
"when i'm gone, you can have my apartment. i have some money left over here, maybe you'll be able to get away for good. you'll never deal with that freak again."
she's not happy with my answer. "no, san. i dont want you to go. i dont want you to disappear. cant we catch a one way flight? can't we run? i'll run with you. i promise."
she actually wants to stay with me. when i dont answer yaera bends down infront of me, holding my hands. i cant believe how quickly things turned around. i have so much to lose.
"when you finish your business, we're getting the fuck out of here, okay? promise me. i'll get the tickets, i'll get everything ready. but promise me you'll come back to me."
i cant promise that i'll be alive. i want to, but i dont want to lie to her.
"i cant promise i'll make it back, yaera," i mutter. a tear rolls down her face. "and even if we run away, is this really sustaintable?"
"is what?"
"us?"
she scoffs. "i dont think now is the time to think of what we are. i dont care about defining this relationship, thats not important. all i know is, you're all i have."
"you're all i have too." i whisper.
"thats enough for me. so promise?"
"okay, i promise."
"good, now lets clean up here and pick a place on the map."
yaera and i spend the rest of the afternoon cleaning up my shattered apartment. i take my parents pictures and throw it in the spare room where i dont have to see it. when we're done, yaera makes herself at home and lays down in my bed watching youtube. i get dressed and she switches off her phone when she notices.
"where are you going?"
"remember those gangsters you met the night you followed me? im paying them a visit." i tell her.
"your dad's old gang...are you going to ask them to help you?"
"yeah. i wanna see if they've heard from wooyoung. get help where i can."
"okay. is it cool if i stay over?" she asks. "i dont feel like going home."
she doesnt even have to ask anymore. i say my goodbyes and make my way downtown.
getting into mao's place has always been shady, im surprised there are guys outside the door. they see me and are shocked to see me, letting me in and muttering shit in cantonese under their breaths.
i find mao sitting around a table and gambling and by god, i find wooyoung too.
he freezes when i see him and i have half the mind to beat the shit out of him. this is where hes been the whole fucking time?!
"sannie!" mao yelps with his cigarette dangling off his lips. "look we're finally good enough for him again! i heard you've been visiting everyone BUT me!"
i run across the room and catch wooyoung before he can run. then i pick him up and toss him into the closest wall. "you DICKHEAD!" i scream.
mao's men jump up from their seats and get between us. "woah woah woah!" mao shouts. "no fucking fighting under my roof! take that shit to the alley!"
"what the fuck man?!" wooyoung huffs. "arent you glad im alive?"
"you couldnt pick up a phone? you couldnt call me to let me know?" i snap. "i thought you fucking skipped town!"
"i had to toss my phone!" wooyoung stresses. "miss A is looking for me."
"i KNOW! I KNOW SHES LOOKING FOR YOU BECAUSE ITS BECOME MY PROBLEM, WOO!"
i start laughing hysterically. "we're fucked. we're both fucked because of you and i hope you know that."
wooyoung stands up, dusting himself off. he has a remorseful look on his face. fucking say something coward.
"i tried to keep you out of it," he admits shamefully. "i was gonna get it done."
"you were gonna kill hongjoong by yourself?" i scoff. "you'd be done for before you even do anything!"
"mao gave me a gun," woo says. i look to mao and he shrugs.
"you know about this?" i ask him.
"as long as he doesnt involve me, i dont mind helping out," mao says. "i dont want black dragons on this side of the world, but bae su ji is losing her touch."
"who the fuck is bae suji?" both woo and i ask angrily.
"Miss A."
"you know Miss A's government name?" woo questions. mao shrugs.
"we used to date in high school."
we're getting off track. im still fucking angry, i turn to wooyoung.
"so? let me hear this fucking plan of yours."
"i dont want you involved san. we cant both be dead."
it feels like my veins are going to pop. "she's going to KILL ME if i dont fucking do something about that hongjoogn fucker. he put seonghwa in a wheelchair and killed changbin. shes going to kill me if i dont get involved, woo, so just tell me the fucking plan."
"hongjoong's sister is getting married soon," mao interjects. "woo's gonna wipe him out there."
"and then im going to skip town for real," woo says with a dark look. "mao's arranged for me to go to hong kong. im gonna work for him there."
"you know who was also supposed to go to hongkong?" i laugh darkly. "yunho."
the room falls into uncomfortable silence aside from the sound of dominoes hitting the table.
"i'll be there, woo." i tell him. "im leaving town too."
"where are you going?" both mao and woo asks.
"im leaving with yaera," i answer woo only. mao is confused and wooyoung tells him its my girlfriend.
"you left Flor?" mao is shocked. i sigh remembering that yaera gave mao a fake name when she followed me. i dont dignify him with an answer.
"alright man," woo sounds defeated. "now you know. i didnt wanna keep in touch because i didnt want to make things worse."
"they're already bad, woo. you not telling me changed nothing."
ive calmed down significantly. i feel defeated but at least i know this bastard is alive.
"what about mingi?" i question. "he started this shit in the first place."
"im taking them both out," wooyoung says. "mingi's the groom. hongjoong's walking his sister down the aisle."
how convenient. two birds with one stone. now, how were we going to get out of it alive?
"WE, wooyoung," i correct him. "WE'RE taking them both out."
***
yaera
after i helped san clean up his rampage, i saw something interesting in his spare room.
i stare at the daewoo k5 in my hands, i never realized san was the kind to keep guns. with the way he lives, i guess i shouldnt be surprised. he needs it more than anything.
something dangerous popped into my mind when looking at it. the first thing i thought of was wiping santo off this earth.
wouldnt i be doing a good deed? taking that rapist, pedophile and fucking freak off this planet?
he called me again. from a different number. i never pick up unknown IDs because of him. but i picked up this time, and all i heard was him breathing harshly.
"i dont like being ignored, yaera. it hurts my heart. you dont want to know how i act when im hurt."
i wonder if yasmine found out, and thats how she ended up where she did.
i know he wasnt anywhere near her when she died, but the thought that he touched her the way he touched me...the fact that she enjoyed it. it was driving me insane. i feel myself losing it with every single thought that flashes by me.
i just want to leave. i want san to finish up his business, come out alive and free me from this place.
we decided on soroa, cuba. europe wouldnt be a good place for us to start over in. latin america would be fresh. its going to be better.
i tried to keep busy but my stomach ached for san. with every apartment i looked at, every beach and every municipality i imagined living in, i had a thought of san never seeing it. i feel so fucking helpless.
i cant fix any of this. i never could but ive never felt this cornered before now. if anything happens to him, i know im going to end up in a ward. i cant leave this place without him when he helped me get to this point.
my parents have left me so many missed calls. so have irina and claire. none from anya? thats weird. she always leaves me the most calls.
i decide to call irina back. i havent heard from them aside from drug related business so it'd be nice if she could take my mind off the fuckery thats been taking place. they always have the most interesting things to tell me. vacationing in saint tropez, partying in monaco, i'd love them to tell me about cuba.
irina picks up first ring. "hey girl–"
"you fucking bitch," she snares at me. i jolt up from the bed at her tone.
"hello?" i repeat in confusion.
"anya is DEAD BECAUSE OF YOU!"
fire creeps up on my skin. it feels like all my hairs raising.
"w-what?"
"she fucking mixed whatever pill you gave her and she threw up all over herself. we fucking rushed her to hospital and she didnt make it!"
this has to be why my parents called me. oh my god. oh my god anya's dead.
"i dont know what you mean," is the first thing i say. probably not the best thing but its the first thing i could get out. there has to be people around her right now. i cant risk it.
"now you dont know what im talking about?" irina snaps. "you fucking killed her."
"anya has a history of drug abuse, irina. why are you blaming me for this? im sorry for what happened but dont call me with this bullshit ever again."
i quickly put off the phone and start hyperventilating. fuck this is a mess, my parents probably found out. they probably know. if i go home im screwed. i cant go home, they'll keep me there.
how do i stay out of this. i know i cant go to jail, none of them have any proof that i dealt them drugs. not a single shred of evidence. there are the cellphone records, but those calls cant get traced back to me. the phone's too old. i need to stay away from them.
i have to fix this, somehow. i cant unload it on san he has enough on his plate. but it sounds like ive made an enemy out of the closest thing i have to friends. i dont know what to do.
i look at the gun on my lap. i have to finish the story.
***
next chapter
tagslist: @sansonlygf @brown88 @yujispinkhair @mountiiny
14 notes · View notes
kidfoundonstreets · 6 months
Note
LOVEBRUSH CHRONICLE. YOU LIKE?
ill try to keep it brief 1/20397
lovebrush chronciles is an otome game deisgbed by team/company I AM ACTUALLY NOT SURE DESPITE YOU SEEING IT EVRRYTIME YOU ENTER THE GAME HOLD ON neteaze games (passion of gamers) and it is about altnerate universes, time fuckery, and school life.
the game begins introducing itself as a regular otome school life sim (my condolences to the fans who fell for william first sight only to find out hes not an actual love interest trust me i see u i feel u) but then WHAM BAM!! just when u thougut ur girl best friend was lookin kinda cute she gets X_x in this summon circle and you jump in to save her only to find out youre now in a royal cage surrounded by people that needa sacrifice you to save themselves from their own doom. oh and youre not in your own world anumore good luck have fun
so now here goes the different plots and paths with the love interests. the way i playrd it was as they introduced it, which was ayn aklaid lars claerence. no cael route yet which rips me apart every night. the love interests seem to have consistent values throughout most universes despite all of their diferet upbringings which i find pretty cool considering schoollife and royaltylife are two completely drastic diferent things, and also i nejoy how mc is written with more character and an amazing design to match the rest of the beautifully drawn cast
on that topic the art is GORGEOUS. i have never seen such beautiful detailed art in a game before and i assure you it will not disappoijnt. the graphics and smoothness of the game are especially a great touch. THERES A MINI STORY FOR EACH CARD BTW SR AND UP ITS SO GOOD becasenit feels as if the creatoes actually put care and give a shit into whar theyre writing and drawing and even in little events the absolute quality and depth of the cast shines theough its just i cannot express how much you need to play tjis game if you like dating sims ITS FREE TOO??,×*#&@ IMSO SAD WHY ID OBEYEME GETTING SM ATTENTION WHEN THIS IS SITTJNGHERE HUH dont get me wrong i too was in that hole but trust me brother there is only one man worth it there and obeyeme sure as hell isnt gonna do it justice with its 200+ chapter peobably plotline
anywya its 11 pm and ibhave no idea how to organize this post so ill just go through the cast
Tumblr media
he is my plaything
ANYWAY ayn is so maahh hes the stupid cat that sleeps on me at night HE USED YO BE MY FAV AND WAS EXACTLY MY TYPE OFF THE BAT ITS SO IRONIC HES MY LEASY LIKED NOW but hes still very good and god you need to see this
Tumblr media
^^ bisexual dilemma
Tumblr media
^^ HIS EMO PHASE
i like him as a side piece, he has a nice personality but it doesnt stick out to me as much as the rest but i heavily respect the enjoyers of him
Aigh now
Tumblr media Tumblr media
HHHRHRGGGHWH HHRGGBW WHWHWBW W SLSOPE9282B3BDND BSHSJW W GHENRBR .R FJJGGW HJ W..B GHN.F. H . THROWSUP aklaid my dear my darling ! i lvouou my little STARBOY my favorite my self sacrificing devoted prince who acts soo nice but is the cause of his own decay. smooochh I ADORE HIM dude one time he almost dies and mc is like "i am so sorry" and hes smiling qhile saying "nono! this is the happiest ivebeen" GET THERAPY
Tumblr media Tumblr media
lars is my favorite lesbian
im onsessed w him hes always fun no matter where he is and yet they still dont dumb him down the moments where hes serious only add to his character his charm is unexplainable his rizz unatainable you could never
Tumblr media Tumblr media
my TRUE favorite lesbian
MY FABORITE MY FABORITE KY DAVROITE I WAS SO WORRIED HOW I WOULD ENKOY HIM BECAUSE SO KUCH WAS UNKNOWN BUT AHGGWDHHSHW HIS ROUTE HIS DEPTH EVERYTHING IT MAKES ME SO SADITS HWARTBREAKING DUDE "HAIR HOLDS MEMORIES" IM GONNA SOB INTO MY HANDS I CANT BELIEVE I LOVE A MAN NAMED CLARENARENCNEUXIHQBQ SHUTOROSHUSITP oh and he really likes cats :D
Tumblr media
i have run out of images but cael caught my eye since the beginning and i dont know whats wrong with him is he my parental figure my wife my side piece my worst enemy my hater my lover my killer my doomer my caretaker my one-time-leave-you-for-nine-months
i genuinely cannot stand him hes the one who i always run to and check on firstin efents and stories not claerence not lars not alkaid but fucking CAEL.
i cant help it maybe in the end my heart really belongs to him because im still waiting for his route and for him to show moreemotion and maybe break down or slowly go through the agony of learning to accept love despite everything despite you
this is the only part i feel a little uneased about in the writers hands.. they are very capable hands.. but will they do him right.. hes so stupidly simple but not it makes me grit my teeth and die
◇°♡○♤○£▪︎¥°₩`£•♡○◇○♡♤◇•◇•♡☆
THANK YOU EVERYPONY FOR REASING IF YOU DID PLEASE SMASH THAT OIKE AND SUBACRIBE BUTTON FOR MORE UNHINGED RANTS IM SORRY FOR BEING AUSTISTIC AND MAY DO IT AGAIN ♡♡ GOD BLESS
10 notes · View notes
logicroute · 1 year
Text
hades fun ramble abt how the yttd fandom treats shin tsukimi :)
haiiii so if you know me you know that i have one billion illness about some guy named shin tsukimi from yttd! and i have some issues on how the fandom writes him, this is coming from someone who has health issues so im going to be somewhat projecting but! hopefully not that much. all of it is going to be under cut!
this is going to cover a lot of spoilers.. so i wouldnt click it unless you finished the game. its also going to cover topics like ableism and a mention of toxic relationships but thats expected when you want to talk about shin and the fandom
so in game (epsically in your turn to shine) its heavily hinted that shin is someone who has health issues (chronic illness and the works), even in the base game it is shown that shin is physically weak (chapt one in the bar where he tries to open the drawer for example.).
and how the fandom made that into shin being a weak person, but not in a strength sense, in the sense that he cant protect/cant hold his own (looking at you shin ship writers.). but! thats just the only issue right? (this is also ableism to me in a way.. but i cant put my words right at the moment.)
nope!! theres more. the fandom at times made shin out to be a 'dirty' person, someone who is gross and unclean. even if that's far from canon (there being a line that shins hands are clean in game.) and to me, thats just stereotypes of people who are mentally ill coming into play. saying that people who suffer from mental illness cant treat themselves on their own. which in some cases may be true, but not in all of them.
i also think this ties into shin being a person who was in game he is saving money, he is a job hopper which some fans took as he is poor which mean hes dirty.. which is just gross that people think just because a person may be poor, automatically means they're dirty.
theres also the issue with shadow sou (also know as shadsou in the fandom) where (some) people treat it as not a part of shin, it just being a part of midori. shin didnt bring out the hiyori persona out of nowhere, it wouldnt make sense that shin is some 'soft boy'.
fans tend to forget that shin isnt the best person, even in a few pregame thoughts. he can still be an asshole without being told about the 0.0% thing. you can let him be petty, you can let him be sly, you can let him be mean. he doesnt need to be doomed to do any of that.
its the same with the shinai, we only really saw small bits of the shinai.. and guessing from his dialog, he is still close to hiyori and that can affect how he acts, but that doesnt mean a pre game shin acts just like shinai, his an ai for a reason, he learns over time and picks up his own traits. its similar to how the fandom treats highschool shin and his friendship with hiyori and thats a whole another can of worms.
people who say they dont ship hiyori and shin.. and then say they dated in the past are an issue to me. not every toxic friendship has to be romantic, yes hiyori wanted to study shin, but thats because he wanted to see how much he can push a person. even the shinai says he likes to experiment on people, and hiyori most likely did the same with shin but more in a mental sense.
theres a reason why i dont interact with people who tag stuff with their ship tag, i dont trust them to take them in a way thats just them being 'friends'. and if you see it like that or make it out so hiyori isnt that bad of a person... block me i dont want you guys near me. (this goes with those 'midori isnt a bad person!!' au writers to. get out.)
on the topic of shipping, a handful of people who ship shin with people srsly make him out to be someone whos weak and needs to be protected by whoever the pairing is with. you guys just want your yaoi. i see this the most in keishin / alishin circles. shin doesnt need to be 'saved' or whatever, he just needs to heal on his own time, he doesnt need a romantic partner in his life for that.
thats a good part of my thoughts! if you have any questions on my thoughts on shin you can send me an ask here or shoot me a dm on discord :3 (samuraiyaiba)
60 notes · View notes
borathae · 4 months
Note
Chapter 30
i just know she has a banging headache
wth yoongi where you waiting there or something?? “Are you still angry?” he asks dryly. is that even a question? “This wasn’t a request but an order”, he hisses, woah ok kitty
“seriously if he knows that I was all sad last night he could at least tone down the ass for a bit.” gurl have u seen his ass? u cant tone down an ass like that. have you seen his thumka in ptd??? it was paying rent
WHATS HIS PROBLEM VANISHING AND APPEARING, SPOOKING FOR NO REASON
you look silly when you startle” and u look like a cat
It is a nice change, you grew bored of only hearing your steps in this massive estate. ooh thats a cool fact about herself, my steps get quieter if its already quiet, i hate the sound of my footsteps, idk feels too loud and gets on my nerves
The estate looks different too. White marble floors and ivory walls with impressive paintings in golden frames hung on them. The tall windows let in the morning air, red curtains swaying in the wind. Even the doors were different from the rest of the estate. Bright white with golden flower ornaments all over them. hold on this is bright, and yoongi didnt redo the entire estate in a night, so what part is this?
JIMIN'S WING WOW this feels so unlike him, yet him from his clothes/attitude
“you can’t just read people’s minds without their consent. i think he just hears everybody like background noise, some of them catching his attention for a second and lost again. similar to accidentally overhearing people, i guess?
waah THE GREENHOUSE YALL bruh let her see it for a second man
wow that was romantic 👀👀 slightly sus whats up yoon? Yoongi simply pushes a bowl of fruit salad closer to you, doing so wordlessly UWUW LOOK AT THAT TSUNDERE LIL MEOW MEOW IM GONNA MARRY HIM AAAAH whos mad at him? fight me (definitely not me)
HE MADE TEA CUZ SHE HATES COFFEE FUCK MY HEART JUST SKIPPED A BEAT
Why? Do you want to complain again?” “chill my dude. I was going to compliment it.” “Thanks”, he finally says, almost whispering the word. “Whatever, you’re welcome I guess” STOP I LOVE THEM SO MUCH
Are you an old grumps or do you just not care because your humanity is off?” took words out of my mouth “You know I do”, he growls, but it sounded more like a shy whisper. IM TATTOOING "HE CARES" ON MY FOREHEAD “you’re helpful, even if other than that you are a total nuisance.” *goes for laser to get it removed kids plan permanent shit, dont be like me
Just once he disappeared to get more food. ok he is no longer a grumpy grandpa, he is now promoted to grumpy grandma
“You think I have time to think about that? Only idiots have a favourite scent.” BREAKING NEWS SA YOONGI INSULTS BTS JUNGKOOK. CANCEL HIM 😭😭😭😭
You look at the rose then at Yoongi. if it was jin, i would've said they are the same “Smell it”, you say. wow she is so polite, cuz if it was i would have already shoved it up their nose by the time i finish saying smell it (not being rude, just idk habit? like a kid showing stuff to people lol) SMELL THE DAMN PLANT FOR OUR BABY, UR NOT GONNA DIE FROM THAT DUDE
He rubs his hand back and forth on the side of his neck, eyes racing from side to side nervously. yoongi panicking(from silly stuff) is very funny cuz that man is usually calm and collected aside from screaming
“I’ve never seen someone walk so slowly” this man drinks grumpy animal blood, grumpy air and water
oh i had 3 tadpoles for a month lol
And so he does, showing off his teeth for just a second before he frowns again. YEAH LET THOSE FACE MUSCLES MOVE, what if your face gets stuck like that (look at me out-grandpa-ing the og grandpa)
WE ARE GETTING THE KEYS OMG YIPPEEEEE
“Yeah? So your best asset in getting Taehyung to talk doesn’t die?” .. “no because I don’t want to lose-” .. “-whatever. Are you going to promise me or not?” HAHA
“Okay I promise…you big softie.” He ignores you, grinding his teeth and turning to stomp to the door. haha look at him uwuw
he has a terribly fast pace going on. dad is that you? no literally my pace got faster after walking with him 💀💀
Oh yes! Gregory, my lovely Gregory. OH MY GOD I GOT SCARED IF IT WAS GREGOR OOF (or is it??)
oh my god tae my baby wtf man my eyes are blurry?? that was fast
please eat those strawberry OH THE SWING DANCING CAUGHT HIS ATTENTION oh my god jimin PLEASE HE *oh my god im about to bawl in the middle of the day in my room wtf have you seriously done to me haha 5 years back i would laugh at this in disbelief
NO YOONGI FUCK OFF U SALTY BITCH WHY I HATE YOU STOP ACTING LIKE A PARENT OF A KID STOP I HATE THIS AAAR “Don’t assume such nonsense, well youre acting like it
*reads the list
SHIT DONT DO IT, IK YOONGI IS A PRICK BUT NO, WHAT IF SOMEONE TRIPS U BY UR ANKLES AND CATCHES THE BLOOD BAG? THEY COULD GET VIOLENT? HELL TAE MIGHT EVEN TRY KILL HIMSELF no blood bag without yoongi or a trusted vampire
SHIT NO fuck she fucked up *it was at this moment she knew she fucked up
yoongi is pissed and its an underestimation, understandable 🥲
i just know she has a banging headache
me rn because of my Suguru posture 😪
“seriously if he knows that I was all sad last night he could at least tone down the ass for a bit.” gurl have u seen his ass? u cant tone down an ass like that. have you seen his thumka in ptd??? it was paying rent
I genuinely love his ass so much I could look at it forever (respectfully)
you look silly when you startle” and u look like a cat
NO BUT HE DOES 😭😭😭
Tumblr media Tumblr media
THIS IS LITERALLY THE SAME PIC
It is a nice change, you grew bored of only hearing your steps in this massive estate. ooh thats a cool fact about herself, my steps get quieter if its already quiet, i hate the sound of my footsteps, idk feels too loud and gets on my nerves
okay I feel that jfadsjf but I think with me it's more of my ever present fear of being perceived JFJADJF don't ask it's a neurodivergent thing apparently 🙂
JIMIN'S WING WOW this feels so unlike him, yet him from his clothes/attitude
YES IT IS HHEHE
“you can’t just read people’s minds without their consent. i think he just hears everybody like background noise, some of them catching his attention for a second and lost again. similar to accidentally overhearing people, i guess?
I have to dissapoint you, it is a conscious decision to read people's minds JFAJSD so mister boongie has been doing it on purpose JFJADJ
wow that was romantic 👀👀 slightly sus whats up yoon? Yoongi simply pushes a bowl of fruit salad closer to you, doing so wordlessly UWUW LOOK AT THAT TSUNDERE LIL MEOW MEOW IM GONNA MARRY HIM AAAAH whos mad at him? fight me (definitely not me)
HE IS IN LOVEEEEEE
HE MADE TEA CUZ SHE HATES COFFEE FUCK MY HEART JUST SKIPPED A BEAT
AND SO SOFT BOONGIE BEGINS
Why? Do you want to complain again?” “chill my dude. I was going to compliment it.” “Thanks”, he finally says, almost whispering the word. “Whatever, you’re welcome I guess” STOP I LOVE THEM SO MUCH
THEMTHEM THEM THEMT HEM
Are you an old grumps or do you just not care because your humanity is off?” took words out of my mouth “You know I do”, he growls, but it sounded more like a shy whisper. IM TATTOOING "HE CARES" ON MY FOREHEAD “you’re helpful, even if other than that you are a total nuisance.” *goes for laser to get it removed kids plan permanent shit, dont be like me
LIKE HE IS LITERALLY SO SCARED TO ADMIT THAT HE CARES I AM CLAWING AT HIMMMM
Just once he disappeared to get more food. ok he is no longer a grumpy grandpa, he is now promoted to grumpy grandma
grandpas can make food too, it's not just the women so he is definitely still our lil gramps <3
He rubs his hand back and forth on the side of his neck, eyes racing from side to side nervously. yoongi panicking(from silly stuff) is very funny cuz that man is usually calm and collected aside from screaming
YOONGI IS IN LOVEEEEEE
“I’ve never seen someone walk so slowly” this man drinks grumpy animal blood, grumpy air and water
NO BUT HE IS IN LOVEEEE
“Yeah? So your best asset in getting Taehyung to talk doesn’t die?” .. “no because I don’t want to lose-” .. “-whatever. Are you going to promise me or not?” HAHA
he is in loooovveeeee
“Okay I promise…you big softie.” He ignores you, grinding his teeth and turning to stomp to the door. haha look at him uwuw
he is just a lil pookie in love 😌
please eat those strawberry OH THE SWING DANCING CAUGHT HIS ATTENTION oh my god jimin PLEASE HE *oh my god im about to bawl in the middle of the day in my room wtf have you seriously done to me haha 5 years back i would laugh at this in disbelief
no but I'm so sad for real 😭😭
SHIT DONT DO IT, IK YOONGI IS A PRICK BUT NO, WHAT IF SOMEONE TRIPS U BY UR ANKLES AND CATCHES THE BLOOD BAG? THEY COULD GET VIOLENT? HELL TAE MIGHT EVEN TRY KILL HIMSELF no blood bag without yoongi or a trusted vampire
an i oop-
yoongi is pissed and its an underestimation, understandable 🥲
NO BUT THIS SCENE IS PERMANENTLY BURNED INTO MY MIND the way he just full on confesses that he loves her and that he is TRYING to be good for her LIKE 💔
5 notes · View notes
yuukei-yikes · 2 years
Note
shintaro and kanos toxic relationship can be something so deeply appealing because of how horrible they are for each other. like. kano having to analyze his actual emotions towards shintaro and shintaro also finally giving in to the im bisexual crisis and also dude youre aware thats your dead girlfriend’s little brother right? also something something kano getting upset with shintaro and using his eye powers to turn into ayano just to hurt him. theyre unhealthy. they make me absolutely insane ok sorry if this was unintelligible in ur inbox lmao
RIGHT but ALSO IT COULD EVENTUALLY TURN INTO SOMETHING HEALTHY... like ofc a lot of clownery has to go on before and that clownery is so so so so so so much fun to explore. but i do think they're capable of getting to a point of a peaceful relationship despite it involves mutual compliance/resignation with both each other and themselves that leads to WOW eventual happiness and contentment with each other. it gets to a point where they aren't together out of their own gratification but bc they LIKE EACH OTHER AS PEOPLE AND YEAH THEY ALWAYS DID BUT THEY NEVER LIKED EACH OTHER MORE THAN THEY RESENTED EACH OTHER BUT NOW THEY DONT RESENT IT THEY JUST LIKE EACH OTHER AND THATS ENOUGH(holds head) bc "well i guess we deserve each other" and it is still sad but...not so much?? idk if that makes sense. but like... Healthy peaceful kanoshin (explodes) like they're arguing and getting all on each other's faces and the Dan's like can u stop fighting and theyre like ?? that's just how we talk though we arent fighting? and they rly arent. ppl who have never been in a loving relationship (not necessarily romantic by the way) with this dynamic wont understand but it IS possible. *shakes you*
idk ive read some stuff where they're so tooth rottingly sweet to each other and i just can't see it💔 i think they can have rare tender moments ofc and they DO but then both act super awkward despite they're in a relationship LOL like they can have 1 tender moment then turn around and just sit there holding hands and awkwardly scrolling on their phones idk idk idk (goes crazy) or they just tease each other abt it or whatever. i think they both rather show affection physically rather than verbally?? i think kanos super touchy. shintaros like do u have to sit here (shot of the completely empty couch aside from shintaro sitting on the edge and kano pressed right beside him) and kano's like wdym. kano's always with an arm around him even if hes shorter. hehe. its so normal shintaro gets used to it so kano just casually throws himself on his lap and shintaro's just like lifting his arms to give him space and never looks away from his phone *destroys all my pillows shaking them like a dog*
not me getting into love language territory. sorry. whatever. idk what all of them even are i think there is 5 but kanoshin is NOT words of affirmation. i think both want them but can't handle hearing it. like yeah they flirt (it IS cringe) but man idk i just cant imagine them being super outwardly sweet to each other... like their flirting is super cringe its the oh REAAAALLY?? kind of flirting not HEHE... kind. DO U UNDERSTAND WHAT IM SAYING OR AM I INSANE
sorry u sent an ask abt toxic kanoshin and i answered with fluff THATS NOT TO SAY UR WRONG. UR TOTALLY RIGHT. BUT I THINK THEY CAN GET TO A GOOD POINT TOGETHER AFTER A LONG CIRCUS MOMENT i just felt bad i kept using them as punching bags everytime i talked abt them... and they are both so capable of love. they are so capable of love that is why they suffer like they do(holds head) they deserve to flirt and be silly i think. tender kanoshin *world explosion*
BTW u mentioned dead ayano. dont get me started on dead or alive ayano for str thats another subject (quickly: dead ayano is a more meaningful end but AYANO I LOVE YOU so i always keep her alive in my post str stuff) kanoshin can work even if ayano lives‼️‼️‼️ ALSO COME ON THAT MAKES IT SO MUCH FUNNIER
31 notes · View notes
motelpearl · 7 months
Text
I'm watching star trek voyager so I'm gonna put my thoughts below & keep adding onto it (yes I'm going from tng -> voy & skipping ds9 for now at least even though I feel like I'm missing out on context bc trekkies seem to hold ds9 as like the gold standard of star trek but I watched a couple episodes & I just couldnt dig it)
the relationship of kes & neelix is so bewildering to me like what does she see in him like hes not even a bad person but he's just a lot dumber than her & has that "where's my hug" type guy energy also he's like so old not even in a sugar daddy way just in a boomer way like doesn't kes's species only live 9 years
I hope tom paris goes through some character development because as of right now he's soooooo annoying like referring to chakotay as an "indian" all the time......ugh one would hope we wouldn't still be doing that in the 25th century also I knew from seeing online discourse that chakotay's writing is stereotypical in a well intentioned but still badly-aged way & it's not ruining the show for me but whenever he closes his eyes & the panflute music kicks in I just sigh deeply
the vidiians are fucking terrifying bruh its giving a cure for wellness
I HATE HISTORICAL REVISIONISM IM SORRY BUT IT WILL NEVER FEEL COMFORTABLE TO ME EVEN IF THEYRE DEAD. NOT THE MARK TWAIN RPF IN TNG NOT THE AMELIA EARHART RPF HERE IT JUST AINT RIGHT
OKAY MAYBE I WAS WRONG WHEN I SAID NEELIX ISNT W BAD GUY BC WHAT DO YOU MEAN KES IS A PREPUBESCENT 2 YEAR OLD
not the voyager defeating an alien by becoming submissive & breedable (of course the voyager has a blue plasma trail & pronouns....)
JANEWAY WANTS CHAKOTAYS DICK SO BAD PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER GIRL WHERES YOUR DECORUM
tuvoks hairline is so fascinating to me
not belanna being lowkey in love with chakotay too & then them showing his bare ass in the next episode....rick berman was on this man like a fat kid on a smartie
FUCK THE KAZON UGLYASS BEASTS
seska needs to be in jail bruh
I SWEAR TO GOD IVE WATCHED ENOUGH STAR TREK THAT I CAN TELL JUST BY THE CAMERA ANGLES WHEN AN EPISODE IS DIRECTED BY JONATHAN FRAKES LIKE HE'S ALWAYS DOING WEIRD DUTCH ANGLE TRACKING SHOTS & STUFF LIKE THAT
so I heard that threshold is like the worst episode in the entirely of star trek & after watching it I honestly dont think it's that bad like sure it's an implausible premise but it's not as bad as like code of honor or sub rosa
NOT BEEF BEING A Q....TWO OF MY WEIRD NERDY INTERESTS ARE OVERLAPPING ALSO THE CAST LIST OF THIS EPISODE SCARES & EXCITES ME. FUCK Q SEXIST ASS MOTHERFUCKER FIRST HE CREEPS ON THAT TEENAGE Q THEN HE KILLS ALYSSA OGAWAS BABY NOW HE SAYS WOMEN CANT BE CAPTAINS & SEXUALLY HARRASSES JANEWAY. DIE.
I always wonder how they get the alien makeup on babies like in this episode with the baby with horns on its head & that one episode of tng where they showed baby borg. also the concept of teleporting a baby out of the womb for an easier delivery is hilarious
tuvok & neelix toxic yaoi?
bruh if this episode is setting up the possibility of suder just letting out his violent impulses one last time & going scorched earth on the kazon & the doctor helping him by means of holographic skulduggery & then tom paris showing up with a cavalry of fucking talaxians to lay the smack down I'm gonna laugh so hard
TOM PARIS FINALLY STARTING TO REDEEM HIMSELF
THE PORTRAYAL OF 1990S EARTH IS SO FUCKING FUNNY TUVOK WEARING A DURAG TO COVER HIS EARS PLEASEEEEE
time travel episodes stress me out so much though like PLEASEEE put the tricorder away. not belanna & chakotay getting kidnapped by hillbillies omg the shots where the guy kicks chakotay & then belanna kicks the guy were edited so weirdly
starling reminds me so much of elon musk
is the alien possessing kes bisexual?
too bad q got to die of old age instead of janeway giving him the electric chair
janeway gettin her lara croft on we love that
why cant vulcans just jack off during pon farr like I thought hand stuff was their whole thing
this isnt voyager specific but shuttlecrafts should really have seatbelts like the amount of times people randomly get injured because turbulence throws them out of their seats....WE SOLVED THIS ISSUE 500 YEARS AGO
not tuvok building the Doohickey
why are they leaving harry unattended on a borg cube WHY DOES STARFLEET NOT MANDATE THE BUDDY SYSTEM HES JUSTA LITTLE GUY & NOW HE'S GOING TO GET ASSIMILATED
WHAT THE JESUS IS THAT
awww bless kes I knew she would leave & I was worried she would die but I'm glad she left on a lighter note
"welcome to the worst day of my life" hi my name is belanna dark'ness dementia raven torres (yes I know losing the warp core is serious but that line was giving "we live in a society")
DID HARRY & SEVEN HAVE SEX. BRUH
eugh I wrote in my other star trek thread that borg assimilation is one thing that just gives me such deep discomfort like even though the borg gradually become sort of overdone the concept of assimilation becomes increasingly terrifying regardless like seven's backstory just creeps me out so much like the concept of her parents just being these sort of rebellious scientists who thought they were gonna make some great discovery out in the delta quadrant (sidenote I hope it gets explained more how exactly they got out there like did they go through a wormhole too?) & just stumbling upon these unimaginable horrors that they had no chance of fight & having to watch as their naivete & hubris destroyed their childs life & everyone they previously knew had no idea where they went or what happened to them EUGH ITS SO CHILLING
wait how did they get the warp core back was I not paying attention
tuvok getting his gilf certificate in the mail we love to see it
species 8472 are terrifying even though the CGI is so low-poly
okay this is a pretty pointless criticism but it annoys me how all the female characters wear heeled boots & on that note the grey turtleneck under the uniforms looks so ugly like post-s3 TNG had the best looking uniforms & this isnt coming from a biased place just bc tng is my favourite (also the movie era uniforms that were red & had random white straps were SO UGLYYYY & DUMB LIKE HOW CAN YOU TELL ANYONES RANK OR DEPARTMENT IF THEYRE ALL RED)
I hate the way the borg queens spine swings around like a cat's tail
opening the episode with harry kim getting his tiddies sucked....ON PRIMETIME TV? IN THE 90S?
I just know that anti-alien-sex law got put into place because of riker
since like late season 3 I'm finally starting to understand why trekkies say janeway has sexual tension with literally everyone
a vulcan shedding a single tear when hearing an artificial lifeform perform a piece of classical music? NOW WHERE HAVE I SEEN THAT BEFORE......*taps chin pensively*
tuvok & neelix detoxified yaoi?
BARCLAY & TROI YASSS
NEVERMIND NOT BARCLAY BACK ON HIS HOLODECK BULLSHIT
not the space Irish again (also from what I've seen irish people are apparently really offended by the irish reunification of 2024 meme <\\\3)
if janeway were alive in 2024 she'd be on tumblr making posts like "I need to get sent to the seaside for my health"
I didnt expect the episode "virtuoso" to suddenly take such a resonant turn but in the age of generative ai it's strangely prophetic
the double whammy of seeing jeffrey combs & the rock as the guest stars in this episode
I got injured the other day & have been pretty much bedbound because of it & whenever a scene takes place in sickbay I think "spare dermal regenerator 🤲"
they bring back kes just to give her makeup that makes her look like Christopher Walken <\\\3
ugh I love troi shes such a queen
why does the borg queen look like this -> 🥺
honestly I'm kinda sad that I'm on the final season
poor tuvok man first he almost gets assimilated, then he gets mind controlled, now hes just trying to fuck but he's thwarted by political tensions
I kind of want to rewatch st: picard since I know seven's backstory now & have the context of the borg's decline like I saw trekkies saying janeway "handled them" but now I know the exact circumstances
omg I know chakotay & seven somehow end up together (at least for a while) when the show ends bc I've had so much of voyager spoiled (tbh that seems to the usual reason i watch shows, I get a bunch of it spoiled & then I'm like "but how do those dots connect") anyway that literally makes no sense bc I can't think of a time theyve ever interacted since seven became a character but like chakotay & janeway were RIGHT THERE THEYVE HAD TENSION SINCE SEASON 1 IM NOT EVEN A SHIPPER CAUSE IDC THAT MUCH BUT IT WAS RIGHT THERE (& I read the wikipedia page for each episode after I watch them cause idk I like learning behind the scenes stuff & in the "reception" section of each page theres always something like "fans were disappointed that janeway & chakotay did not bang like screen doors in this episode") LIKE THE FANS WANTED IT IT WAS A LOGICAL COURSE OF ACTION IT WAS SET UP SINCE SEASON 1 & THE WRITERS CHICKENED OUT. WHY THOUGH?
noooo belanna dont do eugenics ur so sexy aha
POOR TUVOK BRUH SEASON 7 IS JUST A YEAR OF TUVOK SUFFERING
THE DOCTOR MAKING PHANTOM OF THE OPERA REFERENCES....DID HE JUST BECOME MY FAVOURITE CHARACTER (even though he pronounces "fantome" entirely wrong)
"she's suffering from dysphoria syndrome" janeway trans?
I know this show was made in the late 90s/early 2000s but nothing hammers that point home like seeing the same exact fishing rod toy I had as a kid in this episode that aired a month after I was conceived
just when I thought the Q couldnt get more annoying....one of them is a teenage boy
NOT SOME WRITERS BARELY DISGUISED FOOT FETISH SEEPING IN.....I COULD NEVER BE AN ACTRESS
one thing that has never stopped annoying me is the fact that we literally see naomi wildman be born onscreen & then she goes from newborn -> 9 year old over the course of like 2 seasons
okay I finished it & I'll need more time to collect my thoughts but the basic idea is: I liked the show but I feel like there was lots of possibilities that went unexplored but one thing I especially liked is that unlike TNG (which is still my favourite trek) the female characters got storylines that didnt just revolve around interpersonal stuff (ie. family/romance) but actually got to use their specific skills
but now I'm rewatching the first couple episodes of because I honestly had no idea what was going on (I didn't even realize the doctor was a hologram until like halfway through season 1 & I didn't realize tuvok was spying on the maquis until like season 3) & one thing I have noticed is that NEELIX WAS SO FUCKING UNHINGED IN THE FIRST EPISODE LIKE HE COMES OFF LIKE HEATH LEDGER AS THE JOKER IN THAT SCENE WHERE HE VIDEOCALLS VOYAGER & STRUTTING AROUND THE TRANSPORT ROOM IN HIS PIMP COAT & ALL THE WATER STUFF LIKE WHO IS THIS MAN also belanna's makeup was so bad I'm sorry <\\\3
4 notes · View notes
orchiddevourer · 1 year
Text
Sharing some thoughts abt a main character from a game from 2016 *spoiler warning*
Tumblr media
Ok so probably a lot of things have been already said about this game. Personally im very doubtful of the theory that the Huddle is controlling the boy because its debunked with the alt ending revealing that the boy seems to be controlled by a computer AKA us?
With that out of the way i just wanted to make this post to share my thoughts about the protagonist himself and his VERY contradictory nature.
Who is the boy and what is his role?
Tumblr media
"Hunted and alone, a boy finds himself drawn into the center of a dark project." - from the game's steam page
If we go by the theory that he is part of some grand experiment to test the Huddle's capabalities then it doesnt make sense that he is hunted and chased down by the masked men. Why not just let him go do his business? Anyways with or without of the inclusion of the boy into the this dark project, judging by the diorama of the blob its "escape" from its confinement was planned. Maybe the kid just happened to be in the middle of the way by pure chance? Or he was programmed to head into the facility. OR is he a part of some sort resistance against the higher-ups?
Maybe he himself is a seperate project all together from the Huddle project. We could say that he IS programmed to head into the facility bc he always heads in one way and one way only towards the facility. But if he really is some boy looking for shelter than it also makes sense that he keeps heading in that way since from what've seen there aren't really any other hospitable places he could head to without being caught or him dying.
Either way, what's obvious is that the boy is some outsider or an anomaly if we go by the aggression of the dogs and the masked guards towards him. The dogs specifically are clearly trained to go after outsiders if they can sniff him out from the line of drones the kid had found himself in.
Now that im done speculating on his identity, i think its time to move on what exactly he is.
What is the boy?
From first glance its obvious the he is human. He reacts and acts like a person/kid would. He cant survive long falls, if he hits the ground too hard, its over. But why am i pointing this out? There's nothing unusual, right? The alternate ending, however, shows that that is not the case. Here is where his nature starts to really get contradictory in that he is it's revealed that he was a drone too all along. But something's not quite right.
From what we've been shown in the game the mind-controlled people (lets call them serfs) do not have a will of their own, they are empty shells to be used for labor. They are either artificial or normal humans turned into worker drones. Whats also known is that they are capable of survivng long falls and injuries.
Throughout the game the kid runs, swims and jumps without ever taking any brakes except for one occasion at the end of the shockwave sequence where he takes the elevator down. As he goes down, the elevator is hit with several shockwave blasts that manage to unhinge it from its railing, making it go down fast with it and the boy ending up in a deep pool of water. To escape the boy has to force open the elevator's door underwater and make it up to an opened hatch nearby. Right as he climbs up we can clearly see that the kid is exhausted, holding a hand up to his chest. If dont let him take a break and immeadiatly set on then he will move and climb in a lethargic way for a few seconds. Idk if im overthinking this scene too much or not. Its obvious that he has experinced distress and exhaustion. What im trying to point out is:
He behaves like a normal human while in action, but once you pull the plug he slumps over like a serf, shuts off like a robot. That's not normal behaviour you'd expect from a serf from what we've been shown.
Also let's not forget to mention the spheres scattered throughout the game.
Tumblr media
Some might think that these spheres serve as a large antenae to help control the boy, but when all of them are shut off he seems to be doing... fine? Them being shut off also seems to turn off the activity of nearby mindhats and control of serfs in the surrounding area.
Once you pull the main plug twice at the end of the room, everything shuts off. There is a mindhat with all these cables connected to it in the middle back of the room. It jerks when the boy jumps, so he is clearly connected to it. This mindhat is titled "Master Mind", so it's function is either to only shut off the boy's activity OR shut off all serf activity in general.
Also the location of the final orb contradicts the idea of this being a part of a resistance since its located in such an obvious spot. If someone were to follow the yellow wire up the wire, they would easily find it. or maybe im just overthinking it yet again, the lightning isnt very good there. food for thought tho
So in conclusion, the boy seems to be some different type of remote body that is convincing enough to be considered human. Maybe the way he functions is by certain points of his brain being stimulated or blocked by something somehow to make him act like a normal human. Maybe he's a less developed or a more advanced altered human in terms of the modification thats done for one to be turned into a drone ? Him having free will is under question, but its more likely he doesnt have free will at all. Idk, but if in this game a pool of water can be moved onto the ceiling and theres people who cant drown than maybe this is also could be possible.
17 notes · View notes
plantwreastler · 2 years
Text
Background: you and könig have been warbuddies for a couple of years but never really Seem to get along, for personal reasons. But it must not get in the way of the mission
You Got send on a mission with könig first thing in the morning, and youre tired yawns doesnt exactly make könig feel more energetic.
As you walk thru the small landmines trying not to die, “why are you so mad Big boy?” You ask, hes been pissy all morning, normaly hes Nice, he still is he just Seems more annoyed than usually. “Why does that matter birdy?” He says tilting his head to the side looking into youre eyes. “No reason, just tryna` make a conversationl” you say with a smirk “good for you”
Youre getting tried of his smart ass comments and kinda pissed that you dont know where theyre coming from, “CAREFUL! youre gonna get both of us killed, idiot!” You say trying to get the mountain of a man to listen to you, “no need to worry birdy, i know what im doing, afterall, ive been here longer than you” he smirks and keeps walking carelessly thru the bomb full field
“Im getting tried of this crap könig!” You try walking youre own way but he graps youre waist, and pulls you over his shoulder as if you weight nothing. “I dont Care how annoying you are, im a man of my words and im gonna protect you no matter if you like it or not”
You try wiggling youre way out of his tight grip, but he graps the thigh strap pulling you Down into his arms, no matter how hard you try you cant get free now, his grip tighten everytime you try, “i Can walk for myself, just put me Down!” You say in a bitter Barking tone “i know, but youre walking the wrong way, remember 5 minuts ago when you tried leaving me?” He says grinning his at you as he smirks. “Besides you lost youre bet, youre ass is mine, and Were going my way” he says as he keeps walking thru the dead land “lets make a new bet then?”
He looks Down at you clearly annoyed “and what if i say no huh?” “Then you just lost a great deal” you say with a provoking smile, “this is the millitary not a TV commercial” he says in a pissy voice “well, how about this? We do this mission youre way, and if anything goes wrong, Then im the boss from now on, and if i lose, then you Can do whatever you want to me” you say looking up at the Big man carrying you, clearly having many thoghts in his head
He smirks at the offer, thinking about how youre hips would look so small in his hands, hearing youre name as he pounds you, like its his last Day alive. “I Can almost see youre thoghts, you naughty man” you say teasingly “Bet” he says in a calm voice, giving you a smirk letting you know that he already has many things on his mind, and you start getting nervouse, thinking about what he might do to you, he is twice youre size, and could kill you any moment if he wanted.
“But, if you make my plan go wrong, i still win the Bet birdy, so dont pull any crap” he says as he tighten the grip on youre thigh
And you just focus on the mission, annoyingly enough, he won, he won the Bet and youre starting to regeret youre desision, hopeing he forgot all about youre Bet. Later the next Day, he walks into youre Room, opening the door, resting against the frame, and tilting his head slightly to the side, “wanna go for a walk? You have a promise to be hold” youre face turn red and you look flusterd which only makes his grin even bigger.
You walk for a While, and you get impatiant “just get it over with!” You say annoyed “oh no birdy, i want you to enjoy youreself, no ones around.. and you Can scream as loud as you need to” he places his hands on youre hips slowly kissing youre neak, “and we both know that youre only Being an asshole because youre in love, and try to hide it, so you get over it faster” he says as he buttons up youre shirt Nice and slow, “ and so what if its true? Its not a place for a love story handsome, you know that”
“Oh i do but we Can still have some fun eh?” You turn red and flusterd, sometimes you wish you never Got to know him so he could stay his normal shy self and not this flirty tall man, he picks you up as he takes off youre bra leaving hickys all the way Down. You make small moans, he truely is a pleaser and seems to enjoy every little Sound you make.
He takes his throbing hard cock out, you know you want it, and youre getting nervouse as youre laying there with youre legs over his folded thighs, making youre legs spread, and the way both og his hands are on each side of youre head, makes it easy to know whos gonna be in charge, his fingers is sliding up and Down youre clit and youre slightly moaning, he looks deep into youre eyes, ad he watches hoe you enjoy youreself.
“Beg for it birdy” you look flusterd into his Big eyes, and you see his smirk, his fingers is going faster and you just want him inside of you, youre hands are wrapped around his neak. “Beg birdy, you know you want it, i Can pull away any minut” he says teasing you “i want it, i want you inside of me” he grins and he goes inside, thrusting in and out in a fast tempo already from start, and making you moan, “thats not my name y/n” i Can stop, its a punishment afterall, unless you like it?” He says smirking Big at you.
“K-könig” you stutter from the bumps youre body makes as he humps you hard “yes” he says flirtingly, clearly enjoying seeing you on the bottom begging for him like that. “What is it meine leibeling? Ask and you shall recive~ im here to please” you make eye Contact “ its three Words love, i know you Can do it~ for me?”as he teasingly slows Down, very slowly pulling out “i want you!” You yell out knowimg thats what he wanted to hear, you wanted to be fucked stupid and ripped apart by him, to feel his touch, to taste him, to please him. To satisfy him.
He smirked Big at youre words, and fast went inside again, going fast, making youre breast bounce at every move, “youre doing so good” he says, clearly enjoying you Being submissive, jumping at every thrust me makes, “k- königgg, ah. Im gonna cu-“ you scream moaning you came, as he keeps thrusting like a animal in heat “not so Big with youre words now huh?” He gives no breaks, enjoying youre sounds, and you screaming his name, While he rubs youre clit fast and firm, While thrusting fast, youre legs start to Shake, and you try to close Them to get a break, but he just goes harder, making sure you cant, and you Can see by the look on his face that he knows what hes doing
He came all over you, and you slowly take youre legs back, but he pulls you back Down by the back of youre knees “where do you thing youre going leibe?” Going inside of you again, where he keeps edging you, and sucking youre neak purple, “coen on baby, moan for me, you Can scream my name all you need to” he says resting his hand on youre throat slowly gripping tighter, as he forces you to look into his eyes While you cum
When he finally is done, with a sex drive that seems to never end, he gives you a sloppy kiss, making sure you know that he truely loves you, you melt into his arms as he collapses onto you, he could go for longer if he wanted to, but youre legs are shaking, and still wrapped around him. “Leibe? Can you walk?” He asked looking concerned, wondering if he was too tough. You try To stand but you end up Being carryed by him.
As soon as you Got back to the base, he walks to his Room, and lays you on his bed. Giving you a sloppy wet kiss as he crawls on top of you, Holding youre chip up “ice leibe dich” (i love you) he says as he slowly lays Down next to you, spoling you, as you bury youre head in his still warm cheast. Laying one of youre legs between his as he holds youre thigh, kissing you on the forehead til you Fall asleep
26 notes · View notes
abyssal-cryptid · 1 year
Text
Even more Tears of the Kingdom thoughts (SPOILERS)
I cant figure out how long after Calamity this game is set. It's got to be at least some years, everyone else has changed but Link and Zelda
Link and Zelda have lived this time together in Link's house in Hateno <<33
Their Well holds Zelda's secret room
Also yes every well in this game has something so my favorite thing rn is just jumping into wells
Zelda had a school built to Hateno because she loves kids
I hate how so many people in this game who should know who Link is dont know him
You mean to tell Ive been living in Hateno for years and no one recognises me
Zelda is still referred to as princess which implies she hasnt allowed herself to be crowned queen
Ive spent like three hours just strolling in Hateno
I did get the camera and my enjoyment of the game has increased tenfold
HATENO TECH LAB HAS A RUINED GUARDIAN I REPEAT HATENO HAS A GUARDIAN REMAIN
Im so excited I missed seeing these everywhere
Purah's room has drawings of them and the divine beasts
You can just pick up the koroks who need to be reunited w their friends with ultrahand and carry them wherever they want to go. They also roll down hills
Me @ the forbidden ruins in Kakariko: "Let me in, let me innnn"
SIDON HAS A FIANCE
IM SO DISTRAUGHT
THEY SAW US SHIP LINK AND SIDON AND WENT "none of that here is his gf"
HUDSON HAS A DAUGHTER <<33
This game has cheese. I can die happy now
I am taking the elevator up every time I see a falling rock
Went to Akkala Citadel Ruins. Was looking at the views. SUDDENLY EVERYTHING GOES RED AND HANDS ARE CHASING ME WHAT THE FUCK
The way they dont let my boy have his long hair out on any fits is criminal. Could have tweaked the armor sets that much
Why is Zelda appearing everywhere and being an evil menace??? Zelda tf is going on w you?? Arent you supposed to be in the past
They looked at me, specifically, loving side quests more than my life and going "we have to give them more" and this is a good day
There's a golden horse???
Also I heard Yunobo is a dick in this??? Not my boy :(
I go to the Zora tower and there is a man nearly dead
ALSO OH MY GOD WHY DID ZELDA ATTACK KING DOREPHAN
Man was dying (Lets hope this doesnt age poorly because I dont think I could handle it)
So its been like five years at least since BOTW ended and like. Why does no one remember me and also where did all these new people come from that didnt exist here couple years ago?? Where were yall?? Having tea??
Kilton has a little brother <3
I should get back to the "first" main questline as in the Rito are dying in a blizzard but there's pretty flowers and mayoral elections
Did I already mention they did not nerf bows? They didnt and I love that, archers for life
Also I lost Hestu again and I need more inventory
I am afraid to venture into the Korok Forest
Stables are so fun. You get points from first visit, staying the night, registering horses etc AND THEY GIVE YOU REWARDS
I got the Traveler's Gear for General (my baby boy horse)
I found Big Horse and named him Babylon
Also saved this one guy stuck in a cave
Starting to get to a point where enemies drop 15-30 fuse power parts and life is getting easier
Ive activated like 20 shrines since I last did a bunch. I havent done them because what if I have to build vehicles (bad)
I miss cryonis
Havent done much in the sky tbh
I want my champions tunic. I however dont feel like going to the castle
Where the fuck is Ganondorf
I could always see him in BOTW I dont like this
I am kind of disappointed they didnt change the looks of old armor sets. HOWEVER. Cece's hat is all Im going to say. I wonder if I can wear that to Gerudo town
Im still a one shot to so many things
The Zora are dying (their water is turning into mud)
Gorons have malice pink eyes so dont trust theyre doing too well either
Barbarian armor fits so well with Link's messy long hair
Im still kind of shocked that the sheikah tech is just gone
How do I get into Hateno tech lab
Some of yall are actually building vehicles? Im avoiding that like the plague
Still salty about Sidon
I get taken for a little while and he gets engaged
His fiance did refer to Sidon as "my best friend"
The quote went "Im Prince Sidon's... oh forgive me. I am your best friend's fiancee"
She us cute but still
ALSO THEY MOVED MIPHA'S STATUE TO THE TOP OF PLOYMUS MOUNTAIN
THE ZORA'S DOMAIN STATUE IS NOW OF LINK AND SIDON
Why cant I marry him
Sidon carries Mipha's trident now (sobs)
When you meet him he goes "Its good to see you my friend" so happily
"By the way... I hope you know that I am truly happy to see you again after such a long time apart, my dearest friend"
I sobbed
He loves us so much
Just go visit him
Sidon wont marry me and Sonia and Rauru are married, cant a man find some love in Hyrule
7 notes · View notes
polyshipper-anon · 9 months
Text
the council (my mutuals) has spoken, and they have agreed to my request to present a short piece of literature written by yours truly (they wanna see my villain monologue ajdhskdh)
now presenting:
the villain monologue i wrote spawned from my Good Pizza Great Pizza AU
tw: violence, death
context: my ovenist, Terry, has time powers
he can reset the day at any point (when he resets it goes back to the moment he woke up) but he cant go beyond a day
there are these things he calls ‘set in stone events’ where basically, no matter how many times he resets or how much he changes things, these events happen no matter what (ex. the initial rivalry with Alicante and all the times he’s visited the shop, meeting Plant Lady, the cult trials, PizzaCon, Nasir asking for help in taking down Bechamel, being picked to help investigate in Chapter 5)
resetting also takes energy out of him and when he resets a LOT he starts to get sick
this takes place after chapter 5, and everyone (the rivals, Dr Price, Plant Lady, Cicero, Octavia and Terry’s friends) is in his shop celebrating and hanging out but then suddenly the deep dish gang shows up
the gang causes some uh.. violence and like. kills some people there and Terry resets bc he doesnt want that to be permanent but unfortunately it is a set in stone event
there is a lot of resets and attempts in saving his friends, and in this iteration he is tired, a little sick, traumatized, and on the verge of a mental breakdown (i love him <33 thats why im putting him through pain <33)
because of some tragic backstory stuff before the events of GPGP, he snaps and like skillfully takes out all the deep dish gang members, saves the others and scares the hell out of everyone there, forces the gang members to huddle together in a corner and is like. holding them at gunpoint (he took one of their guns)
one of the members tries to attack him again while he’s distracted (talking to his friends) and then the member gets beat up again lmao
and like. Terry’s snapped and he shot the member in the leg and is stepping on his throat so he goes on a villain monologue to let out his hysteria otherwise he might kill somebody
so here is that monologue!! (this is more context than i realized akdhskhs) tell me what you think!!
“Anyone can choose violence in a fit of rage, can choose it when they are overcome with an emotion they can’t handle in any other way. It takes real skill and effort to choose violence as calmly as I do. Well… maybe not ‘calm’ per se, but… hmm… how do I say this…
Ah, I know.
It is not a fire or a storm or an earthquake or thunder and lightning that causes the violence. It is not a disaster that brings it about. There is no red in the sky and there are no screams ringing in your ears. There is no color except white and black with shadows of gray, and there is no sound except a silence that encompasses your whole being.
And you’re standing there, in that scene — in that moment. You’re looking at your hands, and you’re shaking, but at the same time, you are still. Unmoving. Stagnant. You can’t tell if your vision is blurring or if your body is truly as unsteady as it feels. Maybe it isn’t your body at all, it’s just your mind. All in your head.
And at first, you feel nothing. You see nothing. You hear nothing, except for the silence so loud it’s as if it is ringing in your ears. A silence so loud it weighs down on your empty body. You don’t move an inch. Your eyes widen. Nothing changes.
And it’s in that moment in which I choose violence. Bringing life and death and order and chaos into that stagnant and still image. Bringing meaning and emotion into that hollow shell of a person. That shell that was as still as a statue, and maybe it was a statue, but then I colored it and now it’s like they’re alive.
Painting the gray world with red and blue and yellow and with all the colors that could ever exist! Isn’t it so beautiful? Such a vibrant, vivid picture full of life and all that it encompasses and all that it implies. A shell now full of meaning and feeling, moving in every change and changing in every move.
I set the moment ablaze and the fire is the only warmth I have ever felt, all I will ever feel. The fire roars in red and the music plays over the screams and wails of the tortured — or perhaps, the wails and screams are the music. The storm is blue and gray and bright and loud, the bass line of the symphony of pain and anguish.
Isn’t it so wonderful? So amazing? Isn’t it just so beautiful, this violence?
Ah, but it’s not something vermin like you would ever understand. Your violence is mindless. It’s full of rage, but without the passion. It is not a fire that burns up everything in its path and falls back down in ashy embers. It is not a storm that thunders in your ears and strikes you with fear as the lightning grows more frequent and gets closer. It is not an earthquake that shakes you to your very core, an erratic and sudden change that knocks you off your feet.
Your violence doesn’t paint a beautiful picture or compose an epic symphony. It is more akin to… a bee sting. A sloppy punch, a shaky kick. A slap that stings, but only for a second. A moment that doesn’t last or leave much of an impact. A violence that is meaningless and artless and crude.
My violence is deep. Passionate, even. It wounds, it burns, it scars. It lasts for more than a moment, less than or equal to a lifetime. Yours is a violence that instills fear, but mine? It instills anxiety. Dread. A primal fear, or maybe even deeper than that. A violence so strong it hurts even me! It scares me. …maybe I’m the only one who’s afraid. The only who’s hurt.
But does that really matter now? No! It’s beautiful. It’s freeing. It’s destructive and bloody and red and loud and quiet and blue and yellow and it’s just so much of everything—!
My violence is the paint on an empty canvas, the music notes of a song, the life of a picture, the impact of words! It is a violence that hurts and it hurts forever.
My violence is the opposite of me, I think. The only good thing that I could ever do. The only good thing that could ever come out of me, and it’s inherently evil, haha! But it’s beautiful, isn’t it? It lasts forever, and I don’t. I don’t.
Your violence is cliché. Lifeless, sloppy, boring. Done to death. Meaningless, worthless. Just like you, actually. Just. Like. You.”
3 notes · View notes
wanderersbell · 2 years
Note
I have a confession to make. I have had this band au brainrot plaguing my mind where scara and reader have a duo performance together but they're enemies/rivals so they're always bickering and exchanging quick jabs at each other and then they're performing on stage and Scara's mic gives out and so he goes over to reader, gently grabs their chin so they're facing him and they both start sharing a mic. THE FORCED PROXIMITY. THE EYE CONTACT. HIS FOREHEAD IS PRESSED AGAINST THEIRS AND HE'S GETTING CLOSER THAN HE NEEDS TO BE AND OH MY GOD DID HE ALWAYS LOOK SO MESMERIZING AND all you hear is music and him strumming the strings of his guitar and you can't even hear the crowd anymore, it's just him and you and preforming together has made his hair go slick with sweat and the way it looks makes you wanna card your hands through it and his voice is harmonizing with your own and did he always sound this good and being this close gave you a better view of his chest which currently wasn't covered thanks to the outfit he wore and a part of you just wanna trail your finger over his lean but muscular chest and his eyes trail down to your lips and WHY ARE YOU SUDDENLY HAVING THESE THOUGHTS?? YOU HATE HIM??? HE HATES YOU. NOT TO MENTION YOU'RE ON STAGEEEEE ON 4K THE MEDIA IS EATING THIS UP AND SO IS THE CROWD. Bonus points if the song has lyrics about love. Just. THE INNER TURMOIL ON BOTH SIDES. THE DRAMA. THE GFEUKKDF EVERYTHING.
I'm sorry this was all over the place and listening to electric guitar mixes didn't help.
Tumblr media
oh my god. hello. what. wtf. mae????? MAE??????? IM HAVING SO MANY THOUGHTS U CANT DO THIS TO ME HELP IM EATING MY FIST THATS SO BCJFJSXJJFDKSJJD HEAD IN HANDS HYPERVENTILATING RN THE TENSION?? THE INTENSITY???
he would be so unbearable after that, out of pure spite he's constantly trying to fluster you and render you speechless whenever he gets the chance because he absolutely saw the way your eyes kept trailing down to his chest and arms during the show and he'll use every one of your weaknesses against you. the demand for duo performances skyrockets following it because ppl were eating that shit up (as they should) so you very reluctantly come to an agreement with him and each and every time you’re up on stage with him he finds a way to shuffle into your space and make you hold eye contact with him until he’s the only thing you can focus on. whether it be leaving a cord in your path so you stumble into him or just intentionally getting in your way you always end up so close to him that you can feel the heat radiating off of his body and see the perspiration on his skin and the way his bangs stick to his forehead IM LOSING MY MARBLES also he's such a jerk that he probably just acts like nothing has changed when ur not performing on stage and it drives you crazy I AM SO ILL TYSM FOR THIS FOOD FUCK
12 notes · View notes