#why did he turn his activity status off but still view my stories and still look at me the same at school what

[chiistarri]

he dislikes the fact i asked him out so much that he is consistently one of the first viewers of all my stories 🎀

[mandareeboo]

SU Music Rankings

Bc I can and I wanna start some Disk Horse rip. These are all in order of preference, with explanations, etc. It’s a long bitch. That said, I’m not counting little short jingles or small joke songs like Little Butler. This is the meat and potatoes of SU music- just under 30 songs. I might do the rest if people like my takes lol.

I scored it mostly on three bases- how dear it was to my heart, how much/often I relisten to it, and also what it means to the plot. That said, little fun songs don’t automatically go farther down than big, plot-heavy songs either! It’s a strange little balance.

Special Note: I don’t dislike any of this music! I love SU and that includes its bumps and glitches. I just pick favorite children lol.

1.) Change

Was there ever a more Steven moment than when he wiped the blood off his face and kissed it into sparkles? I think not. 

If “Be Wherever You Are” is an ode to young Steven, then this is teen Steven’s. Talking about change, and how much and how little it can do. How he holds his arms up for Spinel to hug him, so trusting. How he seems able to just. Break into soft tears at will, and not to be manipulative- it’s just his kind nature. The warmth in his voice. Fuck yesssss.

2.) Change Your Mind

This song is only fifty five seconds and it’s EVERYTHING to me. It really felt like someone was speaking the words I’d always held deep inside of me, unsure of how to say. It feels like a goodbye to someone who never really loved me. 

As much as I enjoyed Future, if this was the finale of SU, I would’ve been perfectly okay with that.

3.) Drift Away

This song gave me legitimate shivers the first time I heard it, and it still haunts me to this day. Spinel stayed, and waited, and all she got was a transmission thousands of years later. Fuck.

4.) Here We Are In The Future

THE MOVIE IS SU AS ITS BEST AND I WON’T BE SWAYED ON IT. Steven being a teen who loves his weird family but is growing just a bit sarcastic to their drama. The adorable love he and Connie share. His slow realization that he will always be working, always have things to do, is both somber and real. The Crystal Gems won’t be safe with one epic battle. They’ll be safe with years of hard work and love. HIS LITTLE HANDSHAKE WITH AMETHYST.

This is a helluva bop and a great way to summarize the main character’s backstories.

5.) Let’s Only Think About Love

Did ya’ll know that Zach Callison killed his throat with that last note? He gave his all for this performance in a vocal range he no longer comfortably do and by god did it SHINE. The FLAIR. The FORESHADOWING. All of the Gems all being awkward about Rose and Steven trying to bring them to the present. Peridot having a mini-existential crisis in a cute yellow dress. I love Zach Callison’s normal singing voice but man is that a fucking bop. Nothing will ever beat it.

6.) Here Comes A Thought

This bad boy helped me out a LOT with some mental issues I was dealing with in high school. I was unmedicated, unsupervised, and full of anxiety. I’d have break downs when I tried to speak about certain things. I couldn’t function. This song inspired me. It helped me feel okay with my intrusive thoughts.

And the episode! -chef’s kiss-. Once again bringing up the morally gray area of training child soldiers. Connie expanding her social group. Steven’s trauma hauling ass in that second half. The ANIMATION. Stevonnie’s gorgeous singing voice. GOD yes.

7.) It’s Over Isn’t It?

Just barely squeaking above Stronger Than You, this ballad is everything gorgeous. The whole episode is. I think Mr. Greg stands in the top five of my episodes for the entire show. It even got nominated!

There’s just so much about this song that I love. The gentle melancholy of Pearl’s voice. How the crew had to redo the shots for this bit bc Deedee went so fucking hard. The hard cuts between Pearl, remembering the love of her life, and Steven, who has begun to feel like he took her away. I’d recommend this song to anyone, regardless of what they do or don’t know about SU, simply bc it tugs so many heartstrings of love, loss, and responsibility.

8.) Stronger Than You

Did you realize this episode aired SEVEN years ago? This bitch was what got me into SU! Hearing about Ruby and Sapphire made my little gay heart so happy inside, and then getting a whole song confirming that they were a couple, that their love powered the strongest Gem on the team? Aaaaaaaaa

To this DAY I get excited when I hear Estelle start singing. This song is timeless. This song will live in media history. God I fucking love this song.

9.) Other Friends

I’m not the biggest musical person, so I hadn’t heard of Sarah Stiles before her casting as Spinel, but JESUS CHRIST the lady went hard. She went SO fucking hard. Sarah Stiles started on 100 and somehow just kept CLIMBING. You can just hear the sheer manic energy building in her voice, the anger and resentment. 10/10 Sarah Stiles is a queen.

10.) Independent Together

This made the list entirely bc the crew was like “you’re gonna get a himbo ass Steven-Greg fusion singing with Opal while Garnet flies across the moon on Lion while floating” and I am forever thankful to them for it

11.) Who We Are

Bismuth deserved more songs. ‘Nuff said.

12.) Peace and Love (On the Planet Earth)

It Could’ve been Great is EASILY one of my favorite s2 episodes. I love the entire concept of this song. Of Steven making music to reflect how much Earth means to him and his family. Of him teaching Peridot some self-care. Also Peridot’s singing voice is really cute and squeaky. 

I know it’s silly, but I would’ve really enjoyed a flip around of this in Future! Like Peridot reminding Steven how much he loves music, that he needs to take time to relax for himself, maybe with a new verse or just a remix of the original song!

13.) Something Entirely New

I watched this episode as it aired, and I legitimately almost cried. I love Charlyne Yi’s voice so much ya’ll- her raspy, not perfect singing voice against Sapphire’s deep soothing lull is great.

And to have Ruby and Sapphire’s meeting be the way it was- for Ruby to bemoan Sapphire losing Homeworld, to being stuck with a single Ruby, while Sapphire is a noble who has always been taught everyone in her “caste” is vitally important (and has, in her own mind, taken that to mean every Gem, as she should) and how they come together and make each other happy. Good shit good shit.

14.) I’m Just a Comet

The fact that Greg’s music career never really blasted off pisses me off to this day bc Tom Scharpling’s voice is fucking BUTTER. Also the song really feels like a jab at his parents now that we know the kind of dynamic he had growing up. “This life in the stars if all I’ve ever known” is definitely him wiping away their existence after reminding them (and himself) the things they used to say about him.

15.) Do It For Her

This episode. This fucking episode. This episode got me permanently hooked on SU. I’d just binged season 1 and was kinda meh about it overall after the bop of Stronger Than You. “Oh,” I thought to myself, foolishly, “I’ll probably just casually watch this from time to time.”

Like three days later Sworn to the Sword aired and that was it. I was hooked! Pearl’s gentle training song turning darker and darker, Connie’s accompaniment from nervous to determined to fully into such a toxic mindset. The fact that SU had the BALLS to discuss the repercussions of training child soldiers, now and later. This episode was everything to me, STILL is everything to me.

Six years and well over 100 fanfics written later, I think it’s safe to say this show swallowed me whole and never let go.

16.) System/Boot.pearl_final(3)

I debated putting this on the list because it’s not anything crazy important, just a way to show things are Wrong, but I had to do it entirely bc Pearl is so damn SALTY.

Like telling us about the Gems makes sense, she felt like she was given a duty, but she went so damn petty. WHY is that Ruby alone. Gross. This Amethyst is a trash dump. Wtf are you people.

17.) Full Disclosure

This episode really feels like a turning point for SU. Before, the show had its dark moments- but now we’re in the thick of it, and it’s not going away. Full Disclosure felt like an rebuff to the idea of returning to any normal we’d established in season 1. Gems are actually a giant species now. Gems tried to kill us now. There’s this Yellow Diamond bitch who got namedropped. Something about a Cluster. 

The song itself is BALLER, with its ingenious use of Steven’s ringtone and photos as he tries to decide whether to clue in Connie on all this nonsense. Meanwhile we, the audience, already know damn well Connie about to yeet some common sense into him.

18.) What’s the Use of Feeling Blue?

I’mma admit it- I’m a Yellow Diamond stan. I’ve always loved her- her anger, her poise, her hardworking nature. I actively argued against the “Yellow Shattered Pink” theories back in the day. But, man, when this arc leaked? I got so overexcited I was too jittery to watch it for like two days. It’s easily my favorite arc of the series. The sheer alien nature of the zoo, the Famethyst, and absolutely Patti Lupone’s beautiful ballad. Goddamn. Yellow singing to Blue to try and help her regain her old status, the warble in her voice as she reminds Blue she misses Pink too, the movement of the bubbles as she talks about attack. It gives me shivers to this day. FUCK.

19.) Tower of Mistakes

This is, fun fact, that only SU song I have completely memorized. The story itself is kinda funny! See, we lost internet at my house for a solid 5 to 6 months when these episodes aired, so I only got a very brief window to view them all. But this was the first Amethyst song in a long while, and I didn’t want to forget it! So I keep replaying it in my head for ages. And that’s still definitely a thing.

Anyway will never not be sad that this entire song was about making it up to Garnet for Amethyst’s perceived slights with Sugilite (which was a two-way road), only for Garnet to pressure her into fusion later when pissed and never discuss it again bc Garnet probably never thought twice about it and Amethyst has the emotional openness of a clam that’s just been told its ugly. Helluva way to make someone feel like shit, G. Helluva way to bottle that shit, Ames.

20.) On the Run

I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times: Amethyst! Needed! More! Songs! 

The dichotomy between Steven’s play and Amethyst’s honest desire to run away from home is so well-done, especially when you consider a lot of Steven and Amethyst’s actions are playing together. The song is also near and dear to me simply bc it’s my favorite Amethyst episode to exist (well, maybe second to What’s Your Problem, but not by much). Moments like these are all the proof I need that they were right to fuse first.

21.) Be Wherever You Are

This tune really just feels like an ode to who Steven was as a kid. Trapped on an island with no way home, and he’s just happy to be with his friends. The stars are beautiful and not oppressive. Also that one animatic with Lars and the Off Colors playing in the Homeworld Kindergarten to this music was iconic and made this song get stuck in my head for a solid month.

22.) Familiar

I ADORE how the crew use bright neon colors to show how alien Homeworld can be. And Steven recognizing that the Diamonds treat him how the CGs used to, and how prepared he is to “fix” a broken family. It’s a soft, gentle tune about melancholy. Also the Pebbles are beautiful.

23.) Let Me Drive My Van Into Your Heart

Such a cute little love ballad, but every time I listen to it now I just imagine the heart attack Rose must’ve had at the line “And if we look out of place/Well, baby, that's okay/I'll drive us into outer space.” like there’s a Vietnam war flashback if I ever heard one

24.) What Can I Do?

I’m kind of neutral on this one? Rose and Greg both have great voices, but the song itself lacks many lyrics. I think it was definitely a good way to show Rose’s flaws in thinking.

Also, I’m shocked they managed cram that much vaguely sexual innuendo into two minutes, followed by how Not Hetereo that dance between Rose and Pearl was, and not get their asses chewed by it. You go guys.

25.) Cookie Cat

I love a lot of the vibes this song has. The lyrics are so damn prophetic, but they also sound like the kind of weird 90s commercials I grew up on. It’s been like two decades since I saw the Shirley Temple commercial but I’ll be damned if I don’t remember “Animals crackers in my soup! Monkey and rabbits loop-de-loop.”

26.) Giant Woman

I am. NOT the biggest fan of Steven’s original singing voice. I feel bad saying that, since it was just Zach Callison as a kid, but he never jived well with me for some reason. So I wouldn’t listen to this on the fly. 

The song itself is still really good though, with all sorts of fun animation of Amethyst and Pearl being bitchy to each other. It’s a bit sad in hindsight to see tiny Steven trying to get his moms to get along. Ahh, season 1.

27.) Strong in the Real Way

This song has SUCH a strong start. Pearl reflecting on Sugilite’s problems, but the show making sure to show us that Pearl’s lack of enthusiasm towards her also lends itself to jealousy as well as just general malaise. How much she cares about Steven, and wants him to grow up strong. 

And then Steven just kinda. Ruins it? I appreciate his enthusiasm for tryna bulk up but to take what was starting as such a rich, personal song and broadcasting it to random strangers just makes me a bit sad. Almost a bit angry on her behalf?

28.) That Distant Shore

I KNOW this is gonna create some discourse, but I’m just not the biggest Lapis stan. I love her voice. I love the visuals of the song. And I get why she felt afraid and needed to flee.

But Lapis never got to take responsibility for her own actions. And, in the end, the song feels hollow to me- because we all know she’ll never talk to anyone about it, know she’ll burst back in and destroy the barn, and no one will ever question it. I like Lapis a lot, but I feel like her arc never was fully finished. She never got help. She never learned to feel safe.

29.) Dear Old Dad

I’ve yet to meet a single human being who likes this episode tbh. There’s some great discussion about what kind of parent Greg is from it, and what kind of dynamic he has with the Gems that he felt he had to fake an injury to hang out with his son. Honestly the first half was fine and dandy. It’s just that then they Greg just went out of his way to drag Steven away from missions and such. It never jived well with his character before or after.

Also, is it just me, or does Zach himself sound like he hates the song as he sings it? There’s no passion or heart in his voice. It sounds like they told him to read off cue cards and he did. Tom Scharpling’s best attempts didn’t save this one for being a skipper. But the episode, unfortunately, isn’t, so it gets a spot on here.

[byuntrash101]

PARAPHILIA - Part 7

Pairing: Dom!Baekhyun x You; Boss!Baekhyun x You; CEO!Baekhyun x You

Genre: smutttttt

Tags: cuckolding, cheating, NTR, cum play, dirty talk, name calling (light), edging, oral (f)

Raiting: +18

Word count: 3.9k

Summary: When you are desperate for money you have no choice but to seek the help of Byun Baekhyun: your husband's rich, powerful and wicked boss.

A/N: This is the only part where OC and Baek are not a couple but keep reading it might even be better hehe. Guys this one is one of my faves of this whole series so I hope you like it toooo~ 😇😇 -Cat 😼

Tag list:  @lovebuginlove @calamell @bobohumyonlyboo @smolbeanmika @making-me-blush @wooya1224 @yixing-jaehyun @f4ncyvelvet @lalalala-lav @deligxt @xofanfics @byunsugar @dixnysustae @to-all-the-stories-i-love @artisticcgroove @myexoobsession @geniusloey @blahblahblah-boo @nana-banana @mingiandbaconjam @chanyeolscoon

Tell me if you want to be added/removed

PARAPHILIA masterlist | General masterlist

Gif credit: thristyforbaek

Paraphilia #7: Troilism, Observing one's partner engaged in sexual activities with another person

T H E A L P H A M A L E

"Come on Seokjong, we're going to be late!" you tell your husband as you precede him on the pathway towards the big mansion. Your husband pants behind you.

"I know honey but... slow down a bit, will ya?" He puffs holding his side, difficulty going up the stairs. Your husband was never one to be really fit. He was rather short, not even taller than you and also a little chubby. People often told you that you two were not a good match. Telling you how much more good looking you were compared to him. Often you had to turn down the advances of men that thought themselves to be better than Seokjong but the truth was that you loved him. You loved him exactly the way that he was. Happily married for 4 years now.

Well... That was true up until recently. Even though you try to convince yourself otherwise. Your feelings are... changing.

You ring the doorbell in front of the enormous door of the even more gigantic mansion. While your husband catches up to you.

"Please enter" the distinguished butler says. "Please get seated. Mr Byun will receive you shortly" he points towards comfortable couches placed in the entrance. You look around the now familiar place. The floor is made of black marble tiles, the walls have an elegant white wallpaper with exquisite details. The entrance is very big, so big a renaissance style statue of a woman sits in the middle, while a huge staircase is right in front you.

You know the entrance very well but not the rest of the house because apart from the hall and another room you never visited it. Even though it was your 10th visit. Only two more to go...

After a while the butler came back and signaled you to both go upstairs. You politely nodded and went on your way. You knew exactly where to go...

Last room on your right... Mr Byun's office.

"Enter!" the low voice commanded from behind the door. You pushed in the door, your heart beating loudly.

The first thing you notice is the atmosphere. The big windows that accompanied the tall walls and the high ceilings are covered by curtains. The only light source is the desk lamp placed on the elegant dark wood desk that sits in the middle of the big office. The room is grand, the atmosphere very intimate.

Mr. Byun was standing there, slightly leaning back on his desk, shuffling through some paperwork, absentmindedly playing with the collar of his white shirt.

He wore a really expensive suit, very professional looking. Navy blue with discreet golden yellow accents and of course a thin white shirt that was perfectly hugging his frame. Which made your heart stomp even harder.

Mr. Byun was exactly what every woman would desire. He was handsome, had beautiful shiny chestnut hair. A body shape to die for with broad shoulders, a narrow waist and long legs. Gorgeous smooth skin, the most charming and seductive smile and of course... he was powerful.

Everything about him was, this mansion, the sports cars he drove, the way he dressed, the way he walked and even... The way he looked at you. Like right now.

He lifted his eyes from the paper, when they landed on you he took his time fully appreciating the view. He started with your shoes. You were wearing the sleek black shiny high heeled pumps he had requested for today. Then his eyes went up your legs to the slit of the red bodycon dress you paired with the shoes then to your breasts where his eyes lingered for a bit then to your collarbones then your neck then your plump red lips then finally your eyes.

Definitely you were not growing accustomed to the way he looked at you.

Seokjong also came in panting and profusely sweating. He took a handkerchief out of his pocket and wiped his forehead. You rolled your eyes at him. You felt bad for that but at the same time... How could you not be mad at him? He was the reason why you were here in the first place.

Seokjong had an addiction. An addiction to gambling. For the past couple of years it has gotten worse, to a point where Seokjong lost 1 million dollars to the mob. It was a colossal amount of money that needed to be paid back right away. So of course you took two other jobs and also borrowed money from your parents but you barely could gather 80 000 dollars. It calmed down the mob for a while but after a time they started to threaten your family and loved ones.

So Seokjong turned to his boss: Byun Baekhyun. He had worked for him all his life and even for his father before he took over the company. So you both went to see him on the top floor of the big company building. Your husband got on his knees and begged him to lend him the money. He told him that he would work his whole life for it. He offered to put Mr. Byun on his will, he even offered him his parent’s farm, which was a ridiculous offer, and he knew it but he just had to take the chance in order to save your marriage, your family and even your life.

But Mr. Byun laughed at his face.

"Look at me... Look at this office. Does it look like there is anything in the world that I can't afford but you... somehow can?" his voice sounded so cold at the time.

"N-no..." Seojong said, lowering his eyes.

You remember how Mr. Byun leaned over your husband still flat on the ground and said:

"Offer me something that's unique, that only you have. Something that money can't buy and I might consider it..." with that his eyes turned to you and he looked at you for the first time like he did moments ago.

You remember how the shivers ran down your spine when his lips curled in a carnivorous smirk, how lust gradually clouded his eyes.

That time, for the first time. You let another man touch you, feel you, and look at you in places that were before only for Seokjong. Only for your husband.

That time, for the first time, at the top floor of the big highrise. You let Mr Byun Baekhyun have his way with you.

That's how you both agreed to let Mr Byun fuck you in front of your husband every month for a whole year in exchange of clearing Seokjong's depts with the mafia.

That was what you were now: Mr. Byun Baekhyun's whore.

"The door, Seokjong" Baekhyun commanded which brought you back to the present moment.

Slowly he walked up to you... Gradually you felt heat washing over you. You didn't want to admit it but there was a moment in time where you started to anticipate every time you had to come into this mansion. Of course you never told anybody, not even yourself.

Baekhyun walked behind you and rested his chin on your shoulder. You felt his warm breath brush on your ear and his body press against your back. His fingers brushed up your arm. From your wrist to your shoulder, sending goosebumps all over your body.

Already you felt a tingle build in your core. Because Baekhyun didn't even have to try to get you started. His aura and the simplest, littlest touches were well enough. But the worst part was that he wasn't content with that. Everytime he made sure to drive you crazy with desire, pushing all the right buttons to the point where you were the one begging for him.

Without even a word he slipped one of the spaghetti straps of your dress off your shoulder and started to nibble at your neck and earlobe. You knew your husband was right behind you, watching your every move so you tried your hardest not to make any noise as he planted blue and purple love bites all over you. He smirked when he noticed you were holding yourself back. Because he loved when you resisted him. The more you resisted the more gratifying it was when you finally gave in. And he knew you would... eventually you will give up yourself to him, again.

"Seokjong come here" he commanded while stepping in front of you and standing at a little distance, to be able to fully see you. Your husband shuffled to his side.

"Yes Mr Byun?" he asked looking up at him as he was a lot shorter.

"Strip her for me" he said motioning to you with his chin.

"Yes sir" Seokjong responded. He came to you and slipped off the other strap. Then with caution he slowly pulled on the thin red fabric and rolled the bodycon dress off you. First, your breasts popped out since Mr. Byun specially requested you to not wear a bra. It made him smile and lick his lips when he noticed how hard your nipples already were. Because even though you're trying to resist, your body speaks the truth.

Slowly but surely the dress was completely off you. Leaving you close to naked in your red lace thong and your shiny black pumps.

Baekhyun stayed silent for a minute while he walked around you. Admiring your breasts, your beautiful legs in the shoes he chose and even your perky ass in the minimalistic red thong.

He licked his lips again. Then walked in front of you. He slowly closed in the distance between the both of you until you felt his warm breath tickle your cheeks, his broad torso pressed against your naked chest and his bulge against your stomach. You held in your breath trying to contain the thumping of your heart.

"Seokjong come here" your husband shuffled to him. Baekhyun placed a hand on his shoulder. "There... stand... right there" he said as he placed him exactly facing the both of you only a few centimeters away.

"Pay attention" he told Seokjong, winking at him and playfully padding his shoulder.

"Yes sir" your husband answered.

"Now baby" Baekhyun brought back his attention to you. "Stick your tongue out for me"

Hesitant you slowly opened your mouth to stick out your tongue. Baekhyun glances again at Seokjong, making sure he's watching carefully. Then approaches his face to yours. Slowly he sucked on the tip of your tongue then he pushed his soft lips against yours. Embarking you on a hot kiss. His tongue swirled inside your mouth and as heat started to wash over your body you couldn't help but to look at Seokjong. He didn't lift an eyelash, he was petrified. Baekhyun deepened the kiss. His hand went up your hair, tangling his fingers in it, while the other slipped to your lower back where he pulled lightly on the waistband of the thong to let it slap against your skin. Gradually you felt his bulge harden against your stomach which made the tingly feeling even stronger.

He broke the kiss to let you catch your breath and looked at you with a satisfied smile. Stafisified because you couldn't hide anymore. Your eyes were begging him to continue as your body was too... Baekhyun felt that.

"Seokjong" Baekhyun called your husband, before sitting you on the desk and sliding off the red thong, passing it over your heels. "Look, that is what a simple kiss with me does to your wife" he said holding the little fabric in front of your husband face. You felt embarrassment creep up inside you.

The thong was drenched with juices, and you hated that. You hated how this was the truth. Your body was betraying you, craving more of his touches, longing for the moment he was going to be inside you.

Seokjong looked at the shameful result of your arousal and simply nodded.

"Lick it." Baekhyun commanded, smirking. "Taste your beloved wife's desire for my cock"

You whipped your head in the direction of your husband. He, too, looked at you before slowly bringing the red piece of fabric to his face and licking the wet spot. He closed his eyes, his eyebrows creased.

"How is it?" Baekhyun asked.

"Delicious, sir" Seokjong answered, opening his eyes. Baekhyun smirked before turning his attention to you again.

"I want to try it too" he said before crouching down and bringing his face close to your heat. You felt embarrassed. But at the same time you didn't move a muscle because you couldn't wait anymore for him to finally touch you there.

You immediately let your head fall back when you feel his warm and wet tongue on your slit. Slowly going up to your needy clit. A small whimper escapes your lips which makes Baekhyung smile against your folds. His skilled tongue paired with the teasing from earlier makes the knot in your stomach tighten. Really quickly, you feel the pleasure rising uncontrollably. But as soon as Baekhyung feels you twitch under his tongue he slows down to an unbearable pace.

You can't help but whimper desperately. He smirks again and picks up the pace, circling your swollen bud with his tongue.

This time shameless moans escape your lips, the pleasure is just too much and you can't help it. You're so close, you want to cum. But again, he slows down. You look down at him with pleading eyes but don't dare to actually say the words. He smirks at you; he loves to see you struggle like this. He loves the frustration in your eyes.

He starts up again. He gives you just enough to be close to the edge but not enough to actually go over. He keeps you there, in the middle, playing with you, torturing you. And you just can't take it anymore.

"Please" you whisper. He parts his lips from yours.

"Please what?" he says smirking, looking up at you. He brings his hand to your heat and draws small circles on your very sensitive clit. You gasp, biting your lip.

"Please let me cum" you beg in a breath, your head is dizzy, you have trouble keeping your balance on your high heels and you hold on for dear like to the edge of the desk.

"You want to cum baby?" you nod.

"Seokjong come here" your husband comes to stand directly behind him, facing you. "Watch how your wife cums for me".

With that Baekhyun's fingers slip inside you and curl up immediately spotting your good spot. You can't help but to moan loudly. His lips go back to your clit where his tongue continues to tease you further. Only this time, it's to finish the job.

Mercilessly his fingers and tongue attack you, to transform you into a moaning mess and as you feel the knot threatening to come undone you look up at your husband. You feel immense shame to let him see your delighted, sinful expressions from another man's touch. You're ashamed of letting him hear you moan for Baekhyun like that but at the same time... It turns you on so much. When you're met with the disappointed eyes of your husband you are finally able to cum. Your walls tighten around Baekhyun's fingers as you twitch uncontrollably under his tongue. Your juices rush out of you completely soaking the wooden floor. Completely out of breath you squirt all over, a blissful and lingering moan rolling off your tongue.

Baekhyun pulls out his drenched fingers out of you and stands back up before turning to Seokjong.

"Did she ever squirt like this for you?" he asked, already knowing the answer.

"No, sir." Seokjong said, lowering his eyes. Baekhyun smirked, satisfied.

You tried catching your breath as you held yourself up on the desk with difficulty.

"Seokjong sit there" Baekhyun said as he pointed to the floor in front of the desk. Seokjong complied and sat his back straight against the darkwood and waited, his eyes locked on the floor.

Baekhyun started to undress himself. One by one he undid the button of his white shirt and took it off. Revealing his perfectly sculpted body. His chest was glistening from lightly sweating. His cologne gracefully floated to your nose. He smelled exactly like he looked: very expensive and manly.

He then took his pants off and kissed you again. Forcing your mouth open with his tongue as he pushed his hips on your stomach. You couldn't wait for him to be inside you.

"Bend over the desk baby" he said softly in your ear.

You turned around and bent over. You were positioned in a way that your husband's face was directly underneath your crotch. This way he had a front row seat on your adulterous sex with his boss.

Baekhyun came over and rubbed his hot tip against your drenched heat. He brushed it against your swollen clit before slowly slipping inside you. You moaned shamelessly at the delicious full sensation he was making you feel. There was no comparison. He was so much bigger than Seokjong.

"Seokjong, did you see how easily I slipped inside her? It's almost like she was made for me" Baekhyun said in a groan. Fully indulging himself in the tightness and warmness of your naughty little pussy.

Seokjong didn't even reply, instead he started to palm himself through his pants. He hated himself for it but he couldn't stop himself from getting aroused. He saw expressions you never made for him. He heard moans he never heard from you. All of that was, inevitably, turning him on.

Baekhyun started to slowly thrust himself in and out of you. You moan for him like he is the only one in the room. At this stage, you don't care one bit about your husband anymore. The only thing that you want is Baekhyun's fat cock rearranging your guts to fit him.

"Please faster" you plead. Baekhyun smirks but decides to grant your wish and goes faster and even deeper inside you. You throw your head back as he tightens his grip on your waist. Making your breast jump and the desk shake to the sound of your skin clashing.

He feels so good inside you, no one can ever fill you up like he does with his huge cock. You moan for him, forgetting about your husband right underneath you. You want Baekhyun to hear how good he makes you feel.

"Does it feel good baby"? he groans in your ear.

"Yes!" you reply without hesitation, his low voice sending goosebumps on your skin.

"Does my cock feel good?"

"Yes! Aaah.. So good!!" you close your eyes as you feel the knot tightening again.

"Yes you're a dirty little slut of a wife" he whispers in your ear.

Seokjong palms himself harder, rubbing circles on his aching cock. Drunk on the sounds that you make only for Baekhyun. Droplets of your juices crash on his cheeks and bottom lip which he sucks off hurriedly. It's almost like you never tasted so good.

Baekhyun picks up the pace again when he feels your pussy tightly gripping on his cock.

"Moan for me slut" he says through gritted teeth.

"Aaaah Baekhyun I'm cumming" you moan shamelessly. But Baekhyun once again slows down, a whimper escapes your lips as you feel your orgasm getting away.

"I'll let you cum if you tell Seokjong how much of a disgraceful wife you are" he says in a low voice, groaning in your ear as he fucks you at an agonizingly slow pace. You whimper, not wanting to go that far.

Seokjong doesn't move anymore, he holds his breath, somehow... he wants to hear that...

Baekhyun violently thrusts inside you to convince you. You scream out a moan to the immensely pleasurable but ephemeral sensation. With a trembling lip you start.

"Seokjong I'm sorry to be such an undeserving wife" you start, Baekhyung goes ever so slightly faster inside you.

"Aaaah... I let Baekhyun fuck me and... Aaaah.. I love it"

Seokjong rubs himself through his pants once again.

"But his dick is so much better than yours... Aaaaah"

"Good girl continue" Baekhyun encourages you by fucking you harder.

"There's no way... Aaaah... I can go back to your tiny penis anymore... Aaaah. After getting a taste of Baekhyun's huge cock"

Baekhyun goes even deeper and faster. The knot is threatening to come undone at anytime.

"Baekhyun's cock is... aaaah... aah... So good I only want him to make me cum. Only he knows how to manhandle me."

Seokjong furiously palms himself underneath you, his face towards your heat, where he carefully watches his beloved wife's pussy get rammed by his boss.

"Good girl." Baekhyun praises as he doesn't stop fucking you mercilessly. Feeling your pussy twitch around his cock. "Now cum for me baby. Cum on this dick baby" he commands.

You give yourself in to the pleasure Baekhyun makes you feel as your tongue loosely hangs out of your mouth and your eyes roll back. You can't control anything anymore. You're cumming harder than ever.

"Seokjong, listen to me moan while I cum on Baekhyun's fat cock" you scream as you finally cross the edge.

Your pussy pulsing around Baekhyun's huge cock inside you. You scream Baekhyun's name one last time as your juices gush out of you again. So much liquid spurts out of your pussy, to completely soak your husband that is still sitting right underneath you.

Seokjong releases himself in his pants. A stain of cum appears on his crotch through his pants as he opens his mouth wide to catch as much squirt as he can. He drinks your juices as his dick pulses under his hand.

Pleasure completely takes over your body, making your mind blank until the only thing you can ever remember it’s this incredible sensation of Baekhyun’s cock inside you.

You don't even have time to get down from your high that Baekhyun pulls on your hair to make you face him and kneel before him. He violently pumps his fist around his cock.

"I'm gonna cum in your mouth. Baby open wide" Without even a second thought you open your mouth and stick your tongue out more than happy to welcome his warm cum.

Finally Baekhyun shoots to the back of your throat and all over your face. You look delighted as so much thick cum coats your tongue and cheeks, the delicious bitter and manly taste spreads in your mouth and makes your head dizzy.

You fully savour his cum playing with it in your mouth before swallowing it all. Baekhyun looks at you with a satisfied smile. He taught you well. His eyes turn to your husband again.

"Now Kiss her. I want you to taste my cum in your beloved wife's mouth".

To Seokjong it's an unexpected miracle. He quickly scoots over to you and happily links your lips together. The bitter taste spreads to his mouth as he thoroughly licks and sucks your tongue, not forgetting one corner of your mouth.

Seokjong never told you either, but with time he also came to anticipate the visits to Mr Byun's house.

You both liked the thrill of doing something so bad, so wrong. But it felt so right and both of you were hooked.

Baekhyun smirked, a carnivorous smile plastered on his face. In the end, he both transformed you. He was proud of turning a happy couple into to two adulterous sex hungry freaks.

"See you next month"

PARAPHILIA masterlist | General masterlist

[astro-rain]

delicate; b.barnes

chapter eight - “hovel, sweet hovel”

delicate masterlist

word count: 2k

synopsis: bucky and y/n arrive the shelter and take a look at what it has to offer.

pairings: bucky barnes x fem!reader

[A/N]: what would you like to see happen next? let me know! (p.s. this is what i pictured the shelter/hovel to look like)

"I think this is it," Bucky said, looking forward at the structure in front of them.

"That's the 'shelter?'" Y/N huffed, hopelessly annoyed.

They had been walking and jogging on and off for forty-five minutes straight. Her feet killed.

"We're... gonna die."

"We are not gonna die, Y/N."

"Look at it! That is a hovel!"

"Well, inside's better than outside," Bucky retorted. "At least no one will see us if we're in there. It looks abandoned, they'll assume it actually is.”

She sighed and followed behind Bucky into the shelter. It was a one story stone structure that looked so old and weathered. It... looked like a shed. An old ass stone shed. She briefly wondered if Wakanda had a storm season because she was almost certain this thing wouldn't withstand it.

The door let out an anticipated squeak, and she was just as disappointed to see the inside as she was the outside. Bucky put the bags down and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Yeah... this... isn't great..."

It was just as small as it seemed. And empty. Mostly. There were a few withered shelves with dusty pots and bowls, and an even more withered attempt at a table. There was what looked like a furnace in one corner with old, rotted wood in it. The wooden floor creaked under their steps.

The whole place felt like a ghost: desolate, ancient, and lonely. Except for one peculiar thing...

"Bucky?" she beckoned.

"Hm?"

(Y/N) hadn't noticed it when she first entered, but in the middle of the table sat a small, shiny, black panther figurine. It posed on all fours, looking ferociously up at her. It looked so out of place in contrast of the eternal layer of dust on everything else.

"What is this?" she asked reaching for the one thing that didn't match.

When her hand wrapped around it, energy surged into her skin. It felt almost... alive.

"(Y/N) what-" Bucky was cut off by a sound that startled them both.

In the corner across from the furnace, a section of the floor starting moving. Wood on wood on stone was not a good sound. Nonetheless, in mere seconds, there was an opening, and if (Y/N) leaned forward, she could see stairs!

Both of them remained still, feet planted on the creaky floor. They immediately looked at each other.

"What did you do?"

"I'm... not sure. I think I opened it."

(Y/N) smirked.

"What?" Bucky asked, confusion clearly evident in his tone.

"I should've known," (Y/N) shook her head. "Shuri wouldn't have led us here unless there was something more."

She held the panther figurine as she walked towards the opening.

"Wait," he grabbed her arm. "We don't know that Shuri knew that was here. What if it's a trap?"

"A trap from who? I don't think anyone knows we're here except Shuri."

"I don't know. J-Just let me go first."

"Alright. After you, oh wise one," she acquiesced, voice sarcastic but endearing all the same.

Bucky tried to suppress a chuckle. "Smartass. You're the wise one."

She tried to go down the stairs, letting him go first, but apparently that wasn't enough.

"Wait, just let me go look around and I'll holler when it's all good."

"Holler? Who says holler?"

"Me. Wait here."

"Fine," she made a show of pointedly plopping down on the top step, still and waiting as he requested.

It only took about ten seconds.

"Woah..." his voice came from far away.

"What is it?!" (Y/N) leaned forward.

"You were right! Come down, you gotta see this!"

She wasted no time... and standing beside Bucky, her jaw dropped.

"Holy..."

Beneath the ground was a significantly larger, way more modernized, and highly advanced survival shelter. All equipped with smaller versions of a table, chairs, and cabinets, along with a compact freezer and miniature stove, a chest, a closet, and two sets of bunk beds. Everything was clean and looked in optimal condition. There was even a rug.

"Shuri definitely didn’t leave you with nothing," Bucky commented, still taking it all in.

"-us with nothing," she corrected, retreating back up to the shed to get the bags.

-

Later in the day, (Y/N) got a handle on the panther key and how to use it to open and close the entryway to the bunker. Once she figured it out, she kept it closed, ensuring their concealment and maximizing their safety.

Bucky had found his way into the closet, listing off the contents to (Y/N) who sat on the floor, back up against one of the bunk bed legs. She was exhausted. Her body had been assaulted by adrenaline and strenuous mortal-danger-physical-activity. Bucky seemed to be fine, though. Curse that super soldier serum. His energy was always so high.

"...oh, and here's the bedding stuff. I don't know what this is, though."

(Y/N) lethargically leaned her head over to get a good view of the closet.

She chuckled. "That's a space heater...Oh! And next to it - that's a portable AC. Makes sense. I doubt they could get electric or plumbing out here."

And her head rolled back to center, eyes closing, body exhausted.

Bucky seemed to notice. "Hey, if you're tired, I can make the beds...or at least yours if you wanna sleep now."

(Y/N) stretched her legs straight out in front of her. "No, that's okay."

She wasn't about to force her one armed friend to make a bed for her. That's just rude. Especially after he carried those bags. She felt bad; she wished she had done more.

"Nah, I don't mind. It's not like I got anything else to do," he insisted, bringing the bedding over.

(Y/N) stood, body internally complaining in aching protest. She didn't really have the energy to expertly persuade him.

"Buck, it's fine." Her voice was faint.

He didn't even stop to hesitate, seemingly determined on the task. She thought it better to just give up and let him do his thing since he was so set on it. However, the sheet was fitted and there were pillow cases, not really one-arm friendly assets. He was struggling... very clearly. (Y/N) felt even worse.

He started moving quicker, frustration jerking his arm in quick, irritated bursts as he was trying to get the sheet to stay. There was still no success.

She stepped forward gently. "Bucky..."

"Damn it!" he hissed, slamming his hand on the bed frame before forcefully standing up. His hand went to his forehead, rubbing his eyes in disappointment.

(Y/N) was a statue. She had never seen him mad before; she had no idea what to do. Don't get her wrong, she wasn't scared, she just wasn't sure what to say.

"Can't fuckin' do anything," he muttered under his breath.

She finally moved forward. "Hey, forget the bedding, it doesn't matter-"

"Yes it does," he turned. "We're hiding from a collapsed regime and I can't even make a damn bed. Plus you've done so much for me, I just wanted to help with something. I just wanted to be able to do something."

Oh. Suddenly, his anger was gone. It was replaced with a miserable helplessness. It made her chest tight; she needed to fix this.

"Buck, you don't owe me anything. I'm here because I wanted to help, not because I was expecting anything in return. And I don't know what you've been paying attention to, but I watched you carry the majority of those - heavy - bags the entire way here while simultaneously figuring out the way to the shelter while my brain was momentarily smooth. You were the voice of reason in that chaos we just escaped from, and it's a damn good thing you were so calm because I don't know if I could have handled the panic of the both of us."

"You could've," he murmured. "And I wasn't calm, I'm just used to this. I was trained for situations like this."

No, she wasn't going to lose to deflection.

"Regardless, you were a huge help. Seriously."

He still didn't look convinced.

"In fact, I feel more safe here with you than I would with Shuri and the Queen. You're like a super soldier body guard."

A look washed over his face that (Y/N) couldn't quite place. He looked at her quizzically, like he was trying to figure something out.

"You... feel safer with me?"

"That's what I said, yes."

"You're not like... worried about..."

"The Winter Soldier? No."

He sighed. "How can you be so sure? You have no idea if or when I might... you know."

"We are literally the only people here, and I don't plan on saying the trigger words. So unless you plan on saying them, I don't really think we have anything to worry about. And, even if you did 'you know,' you could definitely get away with it and no one would find the body."

He turned bright red. "What?!"

"I'm kidding! Sorry. But Bucky, you've been doing so well with me and Shuri, and honestly the Hydra programming might not even be there anymore."

"But we don't know for sure!"

"Bucky..." she pleaded, turning her head slightly as to say what is this about?

"I can't trust my own mind," he sighed looking at the floor. "I just don't wanna do anything bad. It's just - weird that you don't seem to be worried at all."

"Why is that?"

"Everyone sees me as a monster."

The room was dead silent. He wasn't looking at her, but if (Y/N) looked at him any harder, she was sure she'd burn a hole through his head. How could anyone see this man as a monster? Logically, she understood what other people saw. But personally, she couldn’t find it in her to perceive him like that. It just didn’t work. All she could find was gentleness, compassion, and sincerity.

"I can't see you as something you're not," she said, whisper soft. "I don't care if you hands are 'scarred from murder' or however you said it a few sessions ago. I trust them entirely."

He finally looked up at her, his face filled with something she couldn't quite place. It looked a bit like disbelief and then it changed into relief and then something else entirely. A slow smile crept up on his lips.

"...hand."

"What?"

"My hand. Singular. Not hands."

A deep, deep smile - to match the one on Bucky - grew on her face just before the pair started cracking up ridiculously. Perhaps this was an odd way of releasing the tension, fear, frustration, and exhaustion of the day. Nevertheless, laughter was cathartic. It was so cathartic that eventually (Y/N) could hardly catch her breath and Bucky's stomach hurt. This went on for several minutes.

In time, they both calmed down. She didn't remember when exactly it happened, but they were both sitting on the floor now. They sat in between the two bunk beds, facing one another, each back leaning against a respective bedpost.

The atmosphere was different now, but not in a bad way. It felt like 2 a.m. at a sleepover, when the conversations get drowsily deep, with slow voices and honest confessions. It was heavy eyelids and low inhibitions.

A fresh wave of exhaustion washed over her. She let her head fall slack against the bedpost, resting.

"Bucky, what were sleepovers like in the forties?" she asked softly, eyes closing ever so delicately. 

"Well," he started, getting into a story of his past with Steve and the couch cushions.

And that's how she fell asleep. Sitting on the floor, leaning against a bunk bed, and listening to his voice fade out into the background of her consciousness.

If only she knew how she would wake up: laying comfortably on one of the beds, with one blanket on top of her and another below her because he couldn't get the sheet to cooperate. With the pillowcase carefully draped atop the pillow instead of enveloping it because that's what one hand would allow. With the bed next to her being slept in with no blanket because he used his as the replacement for the sheet he couldn’t get to cooperate.

[itsclydebitches]

Just to hopefully add two cents, the story wants me to view Ruby as an entire force (one whole side trying to do what's right) in this battle. But the logic of scale means I just don't. So instead it seems like Ruby's delusional that she can evacuate/fight Salem with a tiny team, and then she just blatantly gives up. The show had to explain why Ruby thought her tiny force could help. It never bothered to try so she just comes off as borderline insane. And incredibly egotistical and selfish.

This is precisely why I stand by my claim that the show needed to establish Ruby's eyes as a formidable weapon for the war, not for daily skirmishes. By making silver eyes over-powered for average grimm fights, it both destroyed the tension of those battles (Ruby says "enough" and nearly finishes the Hound, no strategy needed like we used to see back when they faced the Nevermore or Roman's mech) and created a plot hole every time she didn't whip them out to instantly win (Ruby has seen twice now that Cinder crumbles when faced with silver eyes, but she doesn't try to use them during Volume 8's finale. Nor do they go off when Yang falls, also contradicting the "Silver eyes respond to emotions" setup that has existed since Volume 3). Yet at the same time, the show has failed to established her eyes as the heroes' victory ticket, despite the characters knowing that Salem actively hunts SEWs. Why haven't we had conversations about why that is and how they can turn that to their advantage? Instead we get Ruby telling the world that Salem is beatable because... she would have destroyed the world by now if she wasn't? That's just another plot hole, the writers failing to explain why the action only started when our heroes came on the scene. And we get the introduction of Summer as a potential grimm experiment, rather than tackling Ruby's status as a grimm-defeating weapon, coupled with ignoring the Hound's own silver eyes. The reading randomly became, "Omg. Silver eyes let Salem turn people into grimm, including Summer. That's horrible!" rather than "Omg. Salem hunted Maria, is hunting Ruby, and turned this silver eyed faunus into a weapon of her own... it's almost like she's terrified of this power being used against her. Could that be a weakness? We did see her fall into that grimm pool and become part grimm herself..."

Firmly establish Ruby's eyes as a war gamechanger and you suddenly have a solid argument for a one girl army. SO MUCH gets better in Volume 7 and 8 if that's on the table. Ruby now has a reason for believing she can stand up to Salem and her forces, at least for long enough to evacuate Mantle. Ironwood would have really come across as sacrificing them needlessly because Ruby would have proposed this plan — a decent plan too, depending on how much control she has over her eyes/how often she can use them. Something else we haven't established — and Ironwood still chose to run, despite being presented that option. Her declaration to Salem about beating her isn't a bout of random confidence right before she collapses sobbing, it's a backed-up belief based on all the history she's learned since Volume 4. Ruby's message to the world could have had actual hope attached to it and a personal promise to use this power for the good of everyone, establishing her as their hero. Because what we currently have is a teenager asserting that a world leader can't be trusted, but providing no reason why the world should trust her instead. Now imagine if Ruby and her group actually joined the fight when Salem attacked, both because they're skilled huntresses and because Ruby has a grimm-only bomb planted in her head. Just forget the cane bomb entirely. That came out of nowhere and contradicts the previous authorial comments/hopes of the fandom that it would be time manipulation, not a "kinetic energy" that acts exactly like Ruby's eyes do. Why introduce a new mechanic that functions precisely like one we already have, wielded by the main character no less? Just forget all that and let YJR actually assist in Oscar's escape, rather than arriving when he's already on his way out. Let Ruby destroy the whale, taking out the majority of Salem's forces in the process and saving her friends. Silver eyes should have been the K.O. skill to pull out when their backs are up against the wall — like when an endless army of grimm is at a Kingdom's front door and they only have a handful of people to hold it off — not a party trick used to briefly freeze the mini bosses, eliminating the need for our characters to fight in creative, strategic ways. It all feels backwards to me.

When I wrote my hypothetical Volume 8 scenario, based on if Ironwood had stepped down/died early, a couple of people pointed out that RWB likely would have made different choices too. If Ironwood didn't or couldn't send out his army, they might have felt like they had to step up, rather than waiting in the mansion. Problem is... what could they have done? It's important for the group to help to showcase their heroism and so they could save specific individuals from specific grimm, but if it was only them vs. the grimm army (what Ruby originally proposed once she started the Ace Ops fight. She has declared that her team will tackle this challenge without Ironwood's help), they automatically lose. As you say, anon, the scale is too extreme. Three huntresses — four if we imagine May is persuaded to join them — cannot hold off a force that needed this many soldiers.

Volume 8 presents Ironwood's army as 100% necessary to keep everyone in Atlas from dying and that's because the story failed to establish Ruby as a one girl army of her own. As it stands, the situation is really just presented a handful of relatively normal huntresses against endless grimm and an immortal witch; a fight that they are bound to lose. It does make Ruby come across as selfish and naïve, choosing a "We'll figure things out later because I can't make hard calls" stance and then hiding away in a mansion when she couldn't figure things out. But capitalize on her silver eyes? Problem solved! With those as a consistent, reliable skill Ruby has proven could turn the tide of even a threat this large, the characters and audience both can buy into the belief that this tiny group can take on this overwhelming force and win.

Ruby insisting they face down Salem simply because she believes doing anything else is wrong does not inspire confidence.

Ruby insisting they face down Salem because she wields the one weapon that can destroy her entire army in an instant and, potentially, take her out for a time too... that inspires a lot of confidence.

[onechicago-upsteadrhekker]

the trouble with wanting (is i want you) - part two

Friends!!!!! I’m here! I’m back! 

I can’t apologize enough for the long wait! It certainly wasn’t intentional, but alas that is the life of a college student and unfortunately school comes before upstead as much as I wish it didn’t!

I hope part two gives you all the feels and makes up for the long absence, however, I do have something to share with you that may make you want to kill.

Part two turned into part three...

So, SURPRISE! This isn’t a two-shot; it will definitely be a three part story and I am happy to say that part three is written (mostly, I have to tweak a few things) so that will be up sometime next week depending on my school schedule.

Thank you again for your patience and I sincerely hope that you enjoy this chapter that contains no real plot, a lot of fluff and mutual pining!

As always, let me know what you think in the comments!

Tagging: @imjustwritingg, @anniesardors, @thetwit, @angelsjedi, @chichichicken, @carissalizz, @maya-asturias

Let me know if you want to be added to this list for part three!

Read on AO3

The next few days are filled with mandatory walking sessions, pain meds every four to six hours and Jay’s smiling face. He was the only reason why she wasn’t absolutely losing it because while she despised hospital stays in general, hospital stays in another city filled with people she didn’t know were downright insufferable.

But he’d made it go from something akin to glorified torture to slightly tolerable.

The bullet wound was starting to heal and the incision from where they’d had to remove her spleen was looking great according to the nurses and everything seemed to be on the right track healing wise, but anything regarding this thing that she and Jay had going on? She had no idea.

One would think getting shot in a different city, causing one partner to literally drop everything and come rushing to the other partner’s side would end in heartfelt confessions and relationships born at hospital bedsides.

But that’s not what happened, and Hailey was seriously starting to wonder if she and Jay were ever going to be on the same page. Or at least read the page aloud because she was fairly certain he felt the same way about her that she felt about him.

Because just partners don’t fly eight-hundred miles to be by your side even if you are hurt.

Right?

And it didn’t help that he was there with her almost twenty-four seven, giving her no time alone to process what he was telling her without words because before this, it had just been subtle glances and warm smiles, teasing words and affectionate eyes.

But this. Flying eight-hundred miles. It was tangible and real, and she couldn’t quite believe it was really actually happening, but then he was there, bringing her her favorite foods from restaurants she’d found during her time in New York and barely going back to her hotel room for sleep, staying by her side to keep her company and catch her up on five weeks’ worth of Intelligence news.

He was there for every lap around the hospital floor and every dressing change. He was there to shoo out the nurses when they were starting to get on her nerves and he was there, rubbing her hand softly when the pain of her bruised ribs made it hard to breathe.

And then there was the way she was constantly being referred to as ‘Jay’s wife’ instead of her own name much like when she was back in grade school and her teachers would call her ‘Sam’s little sister’.

He’d made quite the impression on the nurses and for some reason neither she nor Jay had set the record straight on the actual status of their relationship since that first day when he was mistaken as her husband.

(It was probably the same reason that they hadn’t talked about what Jay flying to New York meant. And to be honest, Hailey was sort of hoping that Jay would set the record straight on their relationship, if only to let her know where they stood.)

And she definitely wasn’t going to acknowledge the dangerous little thrill she got from hearing herself referenced that way or think about what it would be like for real. Nope, not a chance or she might never come back down to reality after having narcotic-induced dreams of three little words, ‘I do’s’, freckled little faces and laughing green eyes.

But then it’s so close, she can almost taste it and it should scare her, but it doesn’t.

Because she can feel it in the way he grins at her and in the way he tells her goodnight at the end of a long day of keeping her company. It’s in the way his arm brushes hers when he’s helping her sit or stand and it’s in the way his eyes hold hers for far longer than he should; his green eyes swimming with hints of the things she dreams.

But until she hears it. Until one of them gathers the courage to actually say the words and put a name to what they already know and feel, then she’s going to wait and guard those dreams carefully because she knows deep in her heart that when they return to Chicago, it will have either worked out or it won’t at all.

She’s not sure exactly when the pieces will fall into place or if they’ll even fit together but she knows they are at the point of no return. And honestly, that scares her the most because no matter what happens, it will always be Jay for her.

Because he was her home, and he had a place in her heart no one else could ever have and that terrified her because she knows that she’ll never get over him if for some reason it doesn’t work out between them.

She tries not to think like that because she’s pretty sure what she’s seen in his eyes is something that looks a lot like love, but it’s hard to be totally optimistic when it seems like the universe is always keeping them not necessarily apart, but not really together. At least not in the way she’s pretty sure both of them want.

So, she sits in her hospital bed, watching him laugh at her attempts to renegotiate her discharge date with the nurses and listens to him chatter about what Will’s been up to and how much he hated being tossed between Kevin, Kim, Adam and Vanessa while she’d been gone even if he liked working with each of them.

They’d been flying crooked he told her and that her not being there threw them all off so he’d be happy when he could take her back home and so would everyone else. In fact, they’d told her as much when Kim had facetimed Jay the day after he’d arrived in New York to get proof of life and see for themselves that she was truly going to be okay.

It was sweet and nice, and it made her realize how much she really did miss her team turned family even if she already felt like she was home just because Jay was beside her.

He was beside her and he was there with her and every time he looked at her over the beeping of the heart monitor she was hooked up to, everything else faded from view. The facetime calls with their friends, the friendly nurses checking up on her every few hours, the general hustle and bustle of hospital life happening outside her room.

It was just them and she’d be lying if she wasn’t looking forward to her discharge date for reasons other than just being out of the hospital because she knew then, she and Jay would truly be alone stuck in a hotel room in a city that neither one of them knew.

And that, she knew, would be the true test.

*

On the morning of the third day she’d been in the hospital, Hailey was given the news that she’d be released by that afternoon. If she was physically capable, she’d be jumping for joy but because of the dozen stitches in her side, she’d had to settle for celebrating internally.

Moving was still slow-going and she still felt overly tired far too early in the day, but she was confident that a night in her own bed (or at least the bed she’d been sleeping in for the past several weeks) would do her a world of good.

And she wasn’t going to think about how Jay being potentially next to her would probably make her sleep better than she’d ever had.

She didn’t know exactly where Jay had been disappearing to when he’d left the hospital at night, but she’d given him the key to her hotel room and he always came back looking well-rested so she felt safe assuming he was sleeping in the same queen bed she’d been occupying for the past five weeks.

Hailey wasn’t quite sure what would happen tonight when it was time for him to go to bed, but she wondered if this was the day they were going to finally get it right, nestled under the bed covers, whispering dreams and promises, her side aching but her heart so full.

“Here, let me help you with that,” Her gaze flicked up to Jay who had entered the room and was walking towards her, his hands already reaching out to help her pull on her coat. Hailey looked up at him as he focused his gaze on putting her left arm carefully through the sleeve of her jacket.

She wasn’t sure if a person could have reversed déjà vu, but the action brought her right back to another hospital room in a different city when she was still reeling from the panic she’d felt surrounding Jay’s terrifying brush with death.

When she’d helped him pull his familiar, worn black jacket over his sling right before she almost told him she loved him.

And now here they were again, except this time it was him helping her and this time she knew they weren’t going home without having the conversation they should have had then.

“Thanks,” She murmured softly, trying to ignore the way her heart raced when he briefly squeezed her hand.

Hailey gingerly sat down on the side of the bed, already worn out and sore from the morning’s activities of getting ready to leave.

“I called a taxi. It should be here any minute,” He grabbed her duffle and sat it beside her, “You sign the discharge papers?”

“Yes, thank God,” She muttered accepting the pair of Sperry’s Jay was handing her.

He chuckled softly, “You are so impatient.”

She shot him a look, “I’m sorry. And who was the one practically begging me to spring him from the hospital the minute he was awake and talking?”

He had the wisdom to look sheepish, but he couldn’t hide the wide smile threatening to take over. Clearly, they were both happy to be leaving the hospital room behind.

As Jay busied himself with packing the last few items into the duffle he’d brought Hailey the day he’d arrived in New York, he can’t help but watch her. She’s moving slowly, but she seems pretty alert for someone who got shot and had relatively serious surgery only four days ago.

Her eyes are bright if not tired and her hair is haphazardly thrown up in her signature high pony, but Jay still thinks she’s the most beautiful girl in the world and he almost tells her just that.

His mouth is open, forming the words when she turns to him after sliding on her shoes, catching his gaze with eyes narrowed in suspicion, “What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

And he thinks this is why he can never tell her how he feels. She’s always taking the words away with a flash of blue and a dash of blonde because he wants his future to look like her so badly, it terrifies him. And even when he does finally find the words, he knows he will never be able to tell her with words just how much she means to him.

His lips quirk and he shakes his head, turning his attention back to the duffle to zip it up before nodding towards the open door of her hospital room, “No reason. You ready to go?”

For a second, he thinks she’s going to push, and they are going to have the conversation they need to have right here and now, but then she doesn’t and some part of him feels disappointed that they are making themselves wait once again.

He’s not even entirely sure why because nothing is holding them back now. Not really. They are finally both in the same city with no kidnappings, rigged elections or anything else threatening to tear them apart and yet, they are still walking that very fine line of partners and best friends to something openly affectionate and loving and real.

It’s almost too perfect because while he rushed here in a state of panic, not knowing what he would find, Hailey, for the most part was okay and now they were stuck here with basically nothing to do but wait till she could fly without risk of infection or complications from surgery.

He’s not sure if he should be worried, waiting for the other shoe to drop or thrilled that the universe seems to be giving them a hint that it was finally time to take that leap of faith from partners and best friends to something more.

*

“Hailey, you are clearly in pain.”

After the short taxi ride from the hospital, they were finally in the hotel room and now firmly engaged in a battle of wills.

Hailey was currently giving him a glare that reminded him of the way she would silently warn him from across the bullpen to not do something he might regret or when they were down to the last couple of fries during a long stakeout and he was reaching for them.

Generally, he didn’t win the fights when she wore that look but today, he was determined to stand his ground.

“Jay,” It was practically whined and while he understood her reluctance to take the pain meds she’d been prescribed, he couldn’t stand watching her in pain.

In the few times that Hailey’s been injured during their partnership, it hadn’t been too serious, and she usually had a good attitude about doing what she needed to do to recover. So, seeing her like this, pale and tired and just not her normal, spunky self, broke his heart and he wanted to do everything in his power to fix it.

Starting with the meds she’s determined not to take.

He was happy to at least see the trait that was so undeniably Hailey in her eyes because otherwise, she looked like a lifeless shell of the badass detective he knows she is. The oversized pillows she was propped against makes her seem so tiny and she almost blended in with the sheets she was so white.

If he was being honest, she was starting to look worse than she did when she was in the hospital and that definitely concerned him enough to possibly make him take her right back there or at least call Will for his opinion.

Sighing, he uncrosses his arms to move from where he’s been standing a few feet away from the end of the bed holding the prescription bag in a clenched fist.

Her eyes track his movements as he comes to gingerly sit down at the edge of the bed, leaning over on his forearm to look at her closely, “Hailey,” He shakes his head, “Please just take them. At least so you can get some sleep. You look exhausted.”

For a second, he thinks that she’s going to keep fighting him, but then he sees the weak mask she’d had in place slip, the dull look of pain and exhaustion becoming clearly present in her eyes.

“Okay, fine,” She sighs out wearily, and he’s a little surprised that she conceded that quickly even if he knew he’d already won, but then she cocks her head slightly, “What do I get in return?”

Yeah, he didn’t think he’d won that easily.

Jay pushes the flirty and slightly suggestive response that instantly pops into his head to the back of his mind. There would be plenty of time for that later, or at least he desperately hopes so because he knows that now is not the time to start anything of that nature.

When he tells Hailey what she deserves to hear, he wants her feeling halfway decent and looking healthier than she does right now.

If they were in Chicago, he would bribe her with Bartoli’s, but they weren’t. They are in New York and she’s already made it quite clear that the pizza here is a tragedy, so he doesn’t think she’d want that particular food even if he could find a copy-cat deep-dish place.

So, he goes for the next best thing, “What about some Greek? It probably won’t be anything like Greek Islands, but I’m sure I can find a decent place. I could grab you some Pastichio. What do you say?”

The way her eyebrows furrow and her bottom lip sticks out adorably makes him want to kiss the pout away, but he doesn’t.

She shakes her head, “I don’t want Greek.”

Jay bites his lip briefly and refrains from making a comment on the childish tone of her voice as he regards her carefully for a quiet second.

He would never admit it, but he knows he’s a much worse patient when their positions are reversed so he’s more than willing to put up with her stubbornness because he knows it’s just a way to cope with the pain.

And besides, he loves her. He would do whatever he could to make her feel better.

“I’ll get you whatever you want as long as you take your medicine, so why don’t you tell me what it is you’d like to have,” He pushes himself up off his forearm to sit upright, but he still holds her gaze.

She sighs carefully, picking at the covers before answering him, “A Snickers bar.”

Jay raises his brows.

In the years he has known her, he doesn’t think he’s ever seen her eat a candy bar. She could down a piece of chocolate cake at an event, or the random chip bag she’d found during a stakeout, but he doesn’t think he’s ever seen her eat the overly processed candy bar before.

“You like Snickers bars?” He can’t help the slightly disgusted tone of his words.

Hailey’s expression instantly morphs into a defensive one, “A girl can have guilty pleasures, and this just so happens to be mine. Now, you said you’ll get me anything if I take my medicine, so you’re lucky it’s not something like a new gun. Or a car.”

Jay rolls his eyes and Hailey desperately wants to swat him but she’s already in a significant amount of pain so she doesn’t think that would be the wisest decision.

“Relax, I will get you your Snickers bar. I promised, didn’t I?” He smirks a little as he moves off the bed to grab his coat that’s thrown over the back of the desk chair, “I just can’t believe I didn’t know you liked candy bars.”

Shrugging a little, she tries not to wince at the pain that small movement caused her, “I don’t indulge in them much; only when I’m not feeling good or if there’s literally nothing else to eat.”

After gathering up his wallet and phone, Jay stops in the middle of the room to regard her for another moment. He shakes his head, “What else don’t I know about you, Hailey Upton?”

She gives him a little smirk of her own, “Lots of things, I’m sure. I was once told I was aloof about my personal life.”

“And just when I thought I was getting to know the person under that tough exterior,” He feels the smile creep over his face, and he doesn’t care that he probably looks like a man hopelessly in love because he is.

He watches as her own expression softens and for just a moment, their eyes meet. A thousand words of unspoken love pass between them and he can see his entire universe in those captivating, blue orbs just as she can see a million promises in his.

Hailey shifts and winces at the sharp pain it causes her, cursing herself for ruining the moment. Those pain pills she’d tried refusing were looking pretty good right about now as the throbbing intensified around her still tender ribs.

Jay noticed her discomfort. He always does, and she could see the concern so clearly on his face it made her heart swell in love. He’s the most caring man she’s ever met, and it’s one of the things she loves most about him.

“As soon as I get back, you’re taking your meds,” Jay frowns, rubbing his thumb briefly along his hairline before dropping his arm, “I’d give them to you now, but I’m not sure I should leave you alone with narcotics in your system just in case. And besides, you need to take the antibiotics with food, so I’ll pick up something while I’m out.”

She just nods, picking up the remote for the television, “Sounds good. I’ll be here watching whatever trash I can find on TV, so hurry back.”

Jay gives her one last smile that warms her from head to toe before he opens the door and walks out.

*

When Jay walks through the hotel door about an hour later, he has the overwhelming urge to call out a ‘Honey, I’m home’, but he doesn’t want to wake Hailey if she’s sleeping and he’s not sure how she would respond to the term of endearment even if it is said teasingly.

It’s funny how that is the thing he feels would be crossing the practically non-existent line they have towing for the past several days. Or weeks really if he’s honest with himself.

As it turns out, she’s not sleeping but still in very much the same position he’d left her in. The TV was on, a rerun of ‘Happy Days’ playing quietly but she doesn’t seem to be paying much attention. Instead, she’s looking down at the phone in her hand, clearly scrolling through something before glancing up at him.

Her eyebrows rise as she takes in the various Target bags he’s carrying in both hands. Hailey let her phone drop in her lap, more interested in what Jay had bought because all she’d sent him out for were Snickers Bars, “Did you buy the whole store?”

He frowns at her as he finds the bag of take-out Chinese he’d ended up getting for their late lunch-early supper to set on the nightstand, “No, I did not, but I did get real food and,” He holds up the other bags he was carrying, “I got you your Snickers.”

Whatever else he’d bought was forgotten as she beamed up at him, already reaching for the candy bar he was digging for throughout his purchases. When he finally found what he was looking for, he tossed it to her, and she immediately ripped open the wrapper.

He makes a face as she bites into the sugary chocolate, “I still don’t know how you eat that crap.”

She responds with an eyeroll because her mouth was too full to make a witty comeback.

“You could at least wait till you ate actual food first,” Jay arched a disapproving eyebrow, his nose wrinkling as he watched her make an obvious display of enjoying her treat. He shakes his head and deposits the Target bags on the lower end of the bed to pull out the bottles of vitamin water he’d bought for her.

“Here, I got your favorite and a couple of new ones for you to try,” He handed her the blackberry flavored one before retrieving the pill bottles that were sitting on the nightstand beside their bag of food.

He read the instructions on each bottle then opened the oxycodone to dump one out, “Okay, you can have one right now and,” He checked his watch, “One at around seven then another at eleven.”

Hailey frowns, but takes the pill out of his outstretched palm anyway, “I hate the way these make me feel. My head feels fuzzy, and I can’t think clearly.”

Jay gives her a sympathetic smile and offers a simple, “I know” because he does know, but he also knows that if she has any hope of getting rest tonight, she needed to be well medicated.

“Maybe tomorrow we’ll try going all day without pain meds, okay? I just want to make sure you have a good night’s rest tonight since it’s your first night out of the hospital,” He tells her as he shakes out an antibiotic pill and then the iron supplement the doctor had prescribed her with for the next few days to hand to her.

Nodding, she knocks the three pills back and takes a swig of her vitamin water. Meeting his gaze, she reaches out to grab his hand and gives it a tight squeeze, “Thank you, Jay.”

The heavy tension that settles over them is now a familiar one and it’s almost comforting in a way as she tells him with her eyes how grateful she is for him.

After a few moments of silence, she clears her throat and withdraws her hand, turning her attention to the bags of stuff piled on the bed, “So, what’d you get?”

Jay blinks, shaking himself out of the trance they’d just been in as he rifled through the things he’d bought, pulling them out to show Hailey, “Well, I did some research and according to WebMD which was confirmed by my brother, weighted blankets can help with muscle soreness and speed up the recovery process.”

“I also got some ice packs,” He dumps out about a dozen before reaching in yet another bag, “And I picked up some of your favorite movies as well as a couple of pairs of fuzzy socks because I know you didn’t pack any and the hospital socks are terrible.”

The tears that spring to her eyes aren’t unexpected because the fact that he knows and remembers how much she loves wearing fuzzy socks when she’s at home decompressing tells her how much he cares even if he hasn’t really said it out loud yet.

The research, the weighted blanket, the movies, the treats, the socks; it’s slightly overbearing, but it’s sweet and it’s so undeniably him that it makes her heart hurt with the love she has for him.

She gives him a soft smile, “For someone who claims to not know me, he sure does take care of me and brings me all of my favorite things.”

“Well, after four years I would hope to know some things,” Jay smirks at her before moving to put the ice packs in the small fridge/freezer combo they had in the room.

He looks back at her over his shoulder, “But, I somehow missed your Snickers habit and it makes me wonder what else I should probably know, but don’t.”

Rolling her eyes, she watches as Jay moves back over to the bed, going for the food he’d sat on the nightstand.

“You know you’re not exactly an open book,” She points out with a wry smile.

He’s not an open book, it’s true, and even though she’s teasing him about it, she knows him better than anyone. Maybe better than even Will knows him. Maybe better than he even knows himself, and it’s ironic because the way she knows him better than anyone is more so through his actions and not his words.

She knows his heart through his acts of compassion. She knows his mind through his steady emotions. And she knows him because he lets her see the deepest parts of himself, unspoken secrets swimming in his eyes and dark memories whispered over drinks.

She knows the things that matter and the same could be said about the things he knows about her, but now that it’s being brought up, she does wonder if there are any meaningless habits she hasn’t bared witness to.

If her mind goes straight to those of a personal nature such as nighttime routines and shower preferences, then she’d never admit it.

“Well,” He handed her a container of Shrimp Lo Mein, “We’re stuck in this hotel room with basically nothing to do so,” Jay sat down on the bed, facing her with his own container of Chinese, “Let’s play a game.”

Hailey arches a skeptical eyebrow, “A game?”

“Yeah,” Jay nods as he takes a bite of his own Lo Mein, “Like one of those ‘get to know you’ games since we apparently don’t know much about each other.”

She frowns, a little unconvinced at this plan and what it could entail, but she’s curious and the slight woozy feeling she feels from the pain meds makes her ask, “What kind of ‘get to know you’ game? Like truth or dare?”

Smirking, he shakes his head, “No. Although, that could be extremely entertaining.”

“Uh-uh. No way am I drinking a bottle of hot sauce or jumping off the balcony or some other insanely difficult thing that you would think was easy,” She takes a bite of her food, trying to shake back the loose hair that keeps falling into her face, “I just had surgery.”

He’s full-on grinning now, chuckling at her impassioned response, “Nothing like that. I was thinking more along the lines of 21 Questions.”

Hailey tries to take another bite of her food, but her hair gets in the way again. She’s starting to get frustrated at the locks that keep falling into her eyes and mouth, making it hard to eat.

Sticking her chopsticks into the take-out container, she uses the now free hand to push her hair behind her ears as she shrugs, “Alright then. We don’t really have anything better to do other than watch movies and eat takeout anyways.”

The way his eyes sparkle at her answer is worth all the cheesy questions she’s sure he’s going to ask.

He stands up, shoving a used napkin into his now empty takeout container and she’s always amazed at how quickly he can down food when he wants to, “We can alternate asking questions and we don’t have to ask exactly 21 questions. It can be more, or it can be less.”

He throws his trash away and starts cleaning up the bed, moving all of the empty Target bags and the stuff he bought off to one side, “Is there anything off limits?”

She hesitates before saying no, shaking her head because while her natural inclination is to keep everything close to the vest, she knows there is nothing that she wouldn’t share with Jay if he asked her.

He makes her feel safe, and she’s constantly finding herself telling him things that she’d never said out loud before anyway, so she already knows that he will guard her secrets and feelings and thoughts deep in his own heart as if they were his own.

It’s like he knows what she’s thinking because the way he smiles at her is so gentle and the secretive sparkle in his eyes is what tells her that the same goes for him.

“You wanna go first or do you want me to?” Jay cocks his head, looking at her as he tears into the weighted blanket.

“You can go first,” She goes to take another bite of food when her hair falls into her face for what feels like the hundredth time.

She sighs internally, her frustration going unnoticed by Jay who had turned back towards the movies he’d bought, opening each of them as he tells her he has to make this first question a good one.

Pretty quickly after waking up from surgery, Hailey had found putting her hair up in its typical ponytail an almost impossible task because every time she raised her arms to gather her hair up, her stitches would pull, and her ribs protested loudly.

After several failed attempts that left her eyes watering, she ended up having a nurse put it up for her and she continued to ask for it done in the mornings before Jay arrived at the hospital to keep her company.

But now, there was no nurse to gather up her long, annoying hair when it keeps falling in her face and even though she’s stubborn enough to try it, Hailey knows if she pulls on her stitches or possibly breaks one, then she’s going to be paying for it tomorrow all because she wanted to put her hair up herself.

She sighs again, this one audible as she sets her Chinese container on the nightstand, “Jay?”

“Yeah?” He turns to look at her, his brows furrowed in concern.

Hailey bites her lip sheepishly as she snaps the elastic band around her wrist against her skin, “Can you put my hair up?”

He looks surprised for a moment before he smirks at the slight blush dusting her cheeks at having to ask for help with a task this simple, “Of course I can, Hailey.”

She hands him the ponytail holder as he walks over to the side of the bed, “But I will warn you. I’ve never done this before.”

She wants to tease him. Maybe tell him he’d better start practicing now if he ever hopes for a daughter one day, but it feels too on the nose when she wants that daughter to be hers too.

So instead, she smirks at him as he moves behind her to start gathering her hair up in awkward chunks. Hailey glances at him out of the corner of her eye, fake gasping, “Don’t tell me that the brave and noble Detective Jay Halstead, the man who jumps over moving cars and shoots sniper rifles doesn’t know how to put hair up in a ponytail.”

“Oh, shut up,” He grumbles good-naturedly, still trying to smooth her blonde hair into his loosely closed fist on top of her head, “It’s not like I’ve really had the opportunity or need to practice.”

Chuckling, she lets him concentrate on pulling her hair through the elastic and tries not to get lost in the feeling of his fingers in her hair and the warmth radiating off him. Her eyes flutter close and she marvels at how gentle he is even with the strength of his hands, well-conditioned in the act of squeezing a trigger.

And just like when making those shots, the precision in which he does everything is still there as he carefully tightens the elastic, securing her hair into place.

Hot breath hit the back of her now exposed neck and she can’t help but shiver. Before he’s stepping away, she swears she feels his hands brush her skin and she wonders if he’s equally as affected as she was by his closeness.

But before it can turn into anything, he’s smiling and settling back into his spot at the foot of the bed, gesturing to the ponytail he’d just completed, “It’s not as good as you do it, but I think it’ll pass.”

“I’m sure it’s fine, Jay. It’s out of my face and it’s not like anyone will see it,” She grins at him as she picks up her food, intending to finish it off now that her hair won’t get in her way.

Jay frowns teasingly, “Hey, and what about me? Am I not someone?”

She smiles softly in amusement, “You’ve seen me in worse states and you’re not just anyone, you know that. You’re my best friend, Jay,” She hesitates because she knows that’s not strictly true. He is her best friend and he’s her partner but he’s also the man she loves, and it would be so easy to let the truth slip out.

Looking at him, she sees something in his eyes that looks like hope or maybe anticipation and she wonders if he thinks she’s going to tell him the one secrete she just can’t seem to get out. Maybe she would have told him if they sat there for a few seconds longer, but his phone buzzes and the moment is gone before it really even began.

Hailey wonders if phones are going to be their downfall.

She thinks she sees disappointment flash across his face, but she blinks and he’s looking at his phone with a serious expression.

“Is everything okay?” Her brow furrows as she watches him type out a quick response and put the device back into his pocket.

He shakes his head, sighing, “That was Kev. The Latin Players are on the verge of waging war against a new up and coming gang called The Jets.”

Interjecting, Hailey raises a brow, “As in West Side Story?”

“Yep,” Jay lets out a wry chuckle, “Anyway, the team flipped someone on The Jets’ side, and it looks like they are possibly willing to play ball so Kev was asking for some background info on my Latin Player connect because Intelligence is going to attempt to negotiate a truce before it can escalate to a full-blown gang war.”

She groans quietly, all too aware of the potential complications and ramifications that come from this type of violence, “That’s just what the city needs. A gang war.”

He huffs in agreement, dropping his head in disgust and she can see the tension in his shoulders. Even eight-hundred miles away, the crime and the innocent people that inevitably gets tangled up in it affects him.

Hailey frowns, her eyebrows furrowing in concern. She reaches out a hand to lightly touch his bent knee, “Jay.”

He looks up at her and the empathy she sees in his eyes makes her heart swell in what’s becoming a familiar sensation. Love and pride and admiration and respect for this man she has the privilege to know.

Her eyes soften and she smiles gently at him, an earnest look on her face, “If you need to go home, go home Jay. I’ll be alright here by myself. I don’t need you to take care of me.”

If the situation wasn’t so serious, she might have laughed at the way his eyebrows shoot up in surprise, clearly not expecting those words to come out of her mouth.

Recovering, his eyebrows furrow and he shakes his head adamantly, “No way. They can get along without me. I’m not leaving here without you and I don’t care if you think you can take care of yourself because who’s going to help you change your bandages or make you take your medicine or keep you company?”

He challenges in a slightly playful manner, but the eyebrow he raises dares her to contradict him and she knows he is serious, “Besides, I need to be here if I want to keep my own peace of mind. I don’t work well without you, so I’m not sure how much help I’d be anyway.”

She knows that no matter the circumstance, Jay would always perform above and beyond the call of duty, but she also knows that this is his way of telling her that he needs her and the way he was willing to stay with her in New York makes her heart stutter in yet another way.

Before she can dwell on the feeling any further, he’s smiling again, his eyes crinkling with mischief, “Now back to the game. I think I have the perfect question for you.”

Sorry it ended in a bit of an awkward spot, but I decided to split it into two parts when I hit 10,000 words and I still wasn’t done yet lol so I didn’t know this was going to be the ending of a chapter.

I’d love to hear what you thought and stay tuned for part three!

[quietmyfearswith]

i’ll drive ; august walker x fem!reader 2/3

status — completed series

word count —  5,933 words

warnings — SMUT, unprotected penetrative sex, soft!august, confused!august

pairing — august walker x fem!reader

a/n — so i had driving lessons last september and thought abt how wow it would make a great story if a driving instructor fell for their student,, and the og idea had in mind was that for a dark fic i might still do one though idk but i never really knew which character to do it for. then i was like what if he was pretending to be a driving instructor and since i just watched mi fallout sometime last month thought id be perfect for august!! sorry i couldn’t publish this any faster, had some things going on offline so yeah lmk what you think of this chapter. there’s only one chapter left!  Y/F/N = your father’s name

masterlist | series masterlist

“You want me to do what?” August scoffed as he read the mission file he was handed. Sloane raised a hand to the other agent who was about to explain it again; she knew that the Hammer would more likely accept the mission if she convinced him.

“We want you to pose as a driving instructor; from there you’ll be assigned to Y/N. Her father is Nick Roberts; do you recall who he is?” Nodding, August placed the folder on the desk and looked at Sloane with a scowl, “Yeah, I do. He transports Perez’ drugs and firearms in and out of the country; possibly close ties to even more underground activity.” 

“Suspected of transporting,” The other agent — August didn't bother remembering his name since he rarely got to work with him anyway — clarified. “And how will me posing as a driving instructor get us to Nick Roberts?”

“Nick Roberts is just an alias; his real name is Y/F/N, and the one you’ll be assigned in teaching is his daughter. You get close to her, you’ll be able to get to Roberts.” It seemed like too big of a stretch, August quietly reflected; what if she cut ties with her father? What if he really wasn’t her father?

“Considering this is the only lead we have so far on Perez’ case, I’ll do it,” He eventually conceded; Sloane was pleased with that as she smiled, “Very well, take that case file with you to familiarize yourself with Y/N. Your lessons with her will be from Monday to Friday, the whole of next week. Understood?”

With a nod, he grabbed the case file and stood up to exit the room. Heading to his office, he figured that it was best to find out what he can about this Y/N. He read about how she had graduated college and has been steadily working in her chosen profession. Since the separation of her parents she lived with her dad, and by the looks of it has a close bond with him. It was amusing to him how someone of her age still doesn’t know how to drive; but nevertheless it was a blessing in disguise that she didn’t since it helped with their case.

Though her case file had her passport and driving permit photo, August made a reckless decision to look up if she had any social media accounts; and she did. It wasn’t usual for him to look up their target’s social media accounts — in the past he would settle for the provided picture on the mission reports and from there familiarize himself with what they looked like — but there was an itch he needed to scratch. There was something about Y/N that motivated him to look at her photos, thankfully her account was on public. “Can’t wait to see you soon, love.”

Henry James was his alias for this mission and here he was leaning against the parked car as he was waiting for Y/N. He held his breath once the door opened and revealed a girl in a romper. “Hi! Are you Henry?” She was too cheerful in her greeting he noted; perhaps that had something to do with how young and innocent she was. Nodding sternly, “See anyone else beside me, sweetheart?”

She giggled at his remark as she tucked her hair behind her ear — a nervous habit she’d develop. “Go ahead and settle yourself on the front seat.” She nodded and made her way over to the driver’s seat. As she sat down, she placed her bag on the console, “You have your learning permit?” She grabbed the piece of paper that was in the pocket of her romper and handed it over to him; he thanked her as grabbed it and filled out the information he had, “Do you know what to do once you get in the car and onto the driver’s seat?” 

“Adjust the seat, adjust the mirrors, check the lights, and make sure I have gas,” She listed out as she did all of those. Clicking the pen once he’s filled in the necessary information he turned to her with a raised brow, “Aren’t you forgetting something?” Looking around her, she tried her best to recall the driving lessons she took and when nothing seemed missing to her she just shook her head no with a slight pout — August originally thought was a childish and foolish expression but she just made it look downright adorable.

Y/N held her breath as Henry leaned over to her so close that their noses nearly touched and his fingertips brushed against her skin as he grabbed the seatbelt, dragging it across her to click it in its place. She didn’t expect him to get that close to her, but she certainly wasn’t complaining when it gave her an up close view of how good he looked in that polo shirt; and the man too was surprised at his sudden move — he was debating with himself that he only did so to ensure her safety, just so she’d be alive and share about her father’s whereabouts, but there was this part of him that was convinced that he just wanted a reason to be close to her. “You’re forgetting the most important safety precaution, sweetheart; and that’s to wear your seatbelt.”

Smiling nervously at him she apologized to which he simply grunted at, “I trust you know how to start the engine?” Her confident persona surfaced, her right hand turned the key to start the car as her left hand rested on the wheel. “What do you need to do before pulling away?”

“Check the mirrors for any oncoming vehicles,” She glanced at the rear and side view mirrors, “Look over to your blind spot,” Twisting her head to look over her shoulder and verify that there was no one or nothing that was incoming, “Signal then drive away.” Turning on her signal light, she put the car from park to drive and began leaving her front yard.

August was impressed with her — for someone who was such a fumbling mess earlier was really focused on driving; he thought that was rare for a beginning driver, as they were far too excited at the thought of getting to go anywhere they wanted. “Good job. I have to say your focus is impeccable as well,” His compliment got her nervously saying thanks. “What’s the speed limit for residential areas?”

“30 kilometers per hour; Do I Just go straight?” They were nearing an intersection and she was told, “Yeah go straight; we’re not leaving the neighborhood just yet.” She nodded and just before she got to cross the intersection she hit the brakes smoothly as there was a stop sign. “One car there, still empty there,” Y/N took note as she moved her head left and right to check the traffic situation.

Once the road was clear she drove straight ahead and her instructor applauded her, “When you take the test, don’t be afraid to talk to yourself like that if it helps. And don’t forget to check if there was already a car from the opposite direction with a stop sign; know why?”

She nodded firmly as her eyes shifted from the road ahead, the rear view mirror, and the speedometer, “Because then they’d have right of way.” August noticed how the tone of her voice would differ; during the earlier part of their interaction, it was soft and low, but now as they drove around it was loud and clear. “When is your driver’s exam again?” He knew when she’d take it — he just thought that by asking that he’d somehow be able to milk information regarding her father.

“This Saturday,” She responded and it seemed that she was nervous about it given how her voice lowered again. “Turn right at the next intersection,” He ordered her. Seeing that she had no stop signs in her direction, she turned on the signal light and moved to the appropriate lane. Once she checked that there were no pedestrians crossing, moved to complete her turn.

“Notice how there weren’t any stop signs on two sides and yet there were on the two?” When she nodded he quizzed her again, “What does that mean?” Before answering him there were kids who were about to cross and she stepped on the brakes, coming to a complete stop and smiled as she signaled for the kids to cross. As she waved at the kids who smiled and yelled thank you she answered him, “Means that I have the right of way; even if someone arrives from the directions with stop signs they have to wait for me to pass before going on.”

“It’s great that you know the answers, some don’t,” He fed her some bullshit to which she bought as she softly laughed. “Well I don’t want to have to retake the exam,” Her lack of use of the word again caught his attention and was quick to ask about it, “This is really your first time taking the test?”

She nodded yes as she stopped at a four way stop, allowing a pickup truck that stopped before her. “How come?” Pressing her foot on the gas, she brought the car forward as she explained, “I don’t know really. My dad usually brings me to places or I take the public transport.” Bingo, August thought, here’s a chance to know more about his whereabouts. “And now? You’re dad can’t take you? Turn left on the next intersection.”

Nodding, she checked the pedestrian if there was someone crossing and stopped at the stop sign to check for any oncoming vehicles, “He’s so busy with work that he can’t. Especially now that he’s out of town.” Not enough information, August thought; but he thought that by asking more questions he’d come off as too nosy. “Do you know how to park uphill and downhill?” 

“I know which direction I have to turn the wheels to but I haven’t done that yet,” He nodded and instructed her on what to do. After teaching her how to do so properly, they took a break as August made some pointers over the things he observed as she drove. “It’s good that you keep your eyes moving around to check your surroundings; but don’t stay focused on one place for too long.”

Looking over at her, his heart beat fast with how her eyes looked wide and eager — and somehow he adored how innocent she looked, as she had no idea on what kind of world she got herself involved in ; it distracted him for a while but he managed to tear his gaze on her as he cleared his throat, “But sometimes you turn your signal light on too early, so be careful of that. And don’t stop too far from the stop line, that gives you demerit points.”

She nodded and took a mental note of everything he said, “What about with my parking?” Henry opened the door to check the distance of the car from the pavement, “You hill parking is good so far; not too close or too far. Think you can do parallel parking on that car on the next street?” Y/N eyes followed to where his finger pointed to a sedan that was parked, “Might need some help.”

Appreciating her honesty August reassured her, “Don’t worry I’ll guide you through it.” With his words she began to leave where she was parked and crossed the intersection. Once she was helped on the parallel parking process, her instructor beamed at her, “Good job, Y/N!”

“Thanks for your help, Henry,” The agent admittedly was caught off guard at the name she used— his dumb ass nearly corrected her and told him that wasn’t his name — he blamed it with how sweetly yet shyly she thanked him so that made him lose his concentration. “No worries,” He gruffly replied, which had Y/N found was odd with how his mood seemed to shift given his tone. 

“Why don’t we head back home but let’s go through the main road; know the speed limit over there?” She nodded her head as she answered, “60 kilometers per hour, but by Hammonds Avenue it reduces to 50.” Satisfied he rubbed his hands over his thighs, “Fantastic! Get on with it, love.”

Her breath hitched at the name he called her and she paused for a second before pulling away; August too had no idea where that came from but he just couldn’t help himself. The rest of the drive on the way home was filled with stiff and tortuous silence; the radio was not turned on since the agent deemed it would distract her from driving. “Do an uphill parking over here,” He pointed to her front porch. She nodded and poked her tongue out a bit as she concentrated on the task at hand. “Okay, now neutral, then all the way to the left.”

When she felt the tire hit the curb she smiled brightly and turned to Henry, “All done.” The proud expression on her face was so captivating that despite holding himself back he couldn’t prevent himself from mirroring her proud expression with a genuine smile, “You did well today, Y/N. Maybe next time you’ll be the one bringing your dad to work.”

August kept his fingers crossed that his jab would provide him with more information about it; and she partially did, “Not anytime soon though; he’s not due back for at least two weeks.” Despite being disappointed at the vague information he managed not to physically display it as he nodded, “Oh that’s too bad then,” He faked sympathy and unbuckled his seatbelt as she did the same, “Same time tomorrow for our lesson okay?” 

Nodding her head up and down, she grabbed her bag from the console and checked the road before exiting. “See you tomorrow, Henry,” She waved as they passed by each other as he walked over to the driver’s side. When their skins brushed, they both could feel a rush of electricity and it made Y/N nervously giggle and skipped away from him without even looking back at him due to how embarrassed she was. 

Whereas on the other hand August was confused; he never met someone who made him feel this way. The way she was looking or smiling at him had him weak in the knees; which was something he never experienced before. As she was swiftly entering her home, the Hammer found himself watching her as she did so; just need to make sure she gets home safely, he convinced himself. Though the rational part of himself argued back idiot, she’s already on her porch! What possible harm can come to her?

Once she got inside he finally got in the car and fished out his phone from the glove compartment to connect it to the radio and call Sloane as he began driving to his temporary apartment. After a few rings she picked up, “Walker? How was the first day?”

“Not too bad. Got some minimal information about Roberts,” He could hear faint footsteps on Sloane’s end of the call and inferred she had just gotten back from a meeting. “What have you found out then?”

“Apparently he’s out of town,” His boss’ disappointment with the information was heard through her long sigh, “Any idea when will he return? And to where he is?” He shook his head as he spoke, “Y/N said at least two weeks before he comes back from work out of town.” 

“Well that can’t be good,” No shit, August wanted to add but kept silent. “Is there any way you can remain in contact with Y/N even after your week of driving lessons are done?” Glaring at his phone the agent voiced his disbelief at what he was hearing, “Why should I pursue this lead? Can’t there be any other way to get to Roberts? What about his associates?”

Sloane let out an irritated sigh — one she rarely had to let out when she was talking to her best agent because he usually got the job done — before explaining, “His associates change; they come and go. We never really found a certain person or persons he works with. Y/N is the only constant person in his life and so if anything really she’s our only hope of bringing him in.” The silence from August’s end indicated that she got through his head.

“Now, is there any way you can remain in contact with Y/N even after your week of driving lessons?” He was now parked in the car park of his temporary base and he thought for a few seconds on how to answer her question. Call it impulsivity or whatever, but before he could even clearly think things through he found himself suggesting, “Perhaps I can ask her out on a date?”

In the years they’ve worked together, Sloane was always impressed and surprised with how August managed to accomplish each mission he assigned her successfully. But this one in particular, he surprised her with his suggestion; heck even August himself couldn’t believe the words that just left his mouth. “I just think that’s the cleanest way to play this one out,” He tried to defend his suggestion, “What other reason would a driving instructor have to remain in contact with their student right?”

The Hammer was cursing himself out with how feeble his justification was; Sloane on the other hand did find herself agreeing with him, “Do what you must.”

The rest of the week went by quickly and Y/N found herself looking forward to every driving lesson she had with her gorgeous instructor. And now that it was the last hour of the last day of their driving lessons, she couldn’t help but wish she got more time to spend with him. In the back of her mind she thought about failing the test in hopes that he’d help her out again. But then it would backfire quick if they sent a different instructor instead.

“Parallel park one last time with that Dodge over there,” His instructions brought her back from the plan she was hatching and going through. As she was executing his instructions, she failed to notice how instead of looking at what she was doing, Henry was observing every facial expression she was completing the task at hand. “There! How was that?” Her eyes staring back at him snapped him out of his entranced stare as he blinked a few times, “Oh well,” He opened the car door to check if the tires hit the curb and how far they were from the curb, “Good job, as usual. Though be careful when you turn the wheel to the right.”

She nodded slowly as she repeated his comment, “How do you feel about your exam tomorrow?” At the mention of her dreaded test she groaned a bit and he chuckled softly — he never saw her this stressed about the test in their previous lessons, so seeing her react this way was somewhat amusing to him. She looked at him with her lips slightly pouting and the skin in her forehead all wrinkled up, “I’m nervous about it; but at the same time I feel like I can do it?”

Henry’s left hand settled itself on her forearm as he affectionately rubbed her, as if he were trying to rid her of the stress and anxieties, “You’re gonna do great, love. Just calm yourself down before taking the test and don’t be afraid to talk to yourself as you drive if it helps you focus.” Y/N’s heartbeat sped up with how gentle he was; over the course of their lessons he came across as stern and rigid but this side of him was something she could get used to.

“How ‘bout you drive back home now, yeah?” She nodded and did so without trouble. August remembered how her father was gone and wondered who’d bring her to the test, “By the way, since you mentioned you dad was out of town, who’ll go with you then?”

Timidly smiling to herself she admitted, “I’ve asked some of my friends, but they all said how they had their own plans. I was gonna ask some of my coworkers and see how that goes.” Clicking his tongue with how unprepared she was, his mouth spit out, “Well how about I go with you then?” Before his brain could even analyze if that was the right thing to say.

Seeing as Y/N was driving she could only briefly glance at him, “You want to take me to the test?” August now backed himself against a wall and couldn’t find a way out, to hell with it, he thought to himself. “Way better than you driving illegally is it not?”

“That is true,” Y/N acknowledged, “But do you do that for all of your students?” Henry let out a laugh and her heart fluttered with how deep it was before he remarked, “Not for everyone, sweetheart, I’ll tell you that.” Feeling cocky with that she mused, “Then I must be special then?”

If you only knew, love, August thought to himself; while Y/N was scolding at herself for possibly flirting with her driving instructor. But technically he wouldn’t be on the day of her exam because their lessons ended, right? “Wanna know how special you really are?” He leaned his elbow on the console, bringing himself closer to her and he sensed how she held her breath as her body stiffened. Shaking her head was the only response she could offer as she was now focusing on parking the car in front of her house. 

After coming to a halt she turned over to him and looked at him with curious eyes; Henry then took it as his cue to speak, “You’re so special that should you pass your exam tomorrow, I want to take you out on a date.” Her eyes widened comically that August thought she was an inspiration for a cartoon character. And the agent wasn’t sure if what he was saying was spoken out of desperation for the mission to succeed or because he had taken interest in her.

It had taken her a few seconds before replying and the agent was surprised when she said, “Are you shitting me or is this actually real?” He rid the smirk he had on his face and replaced it with a serious expression, “This is real, sweetheart. Do you think I go around and grace my students with nicknames?” He took her avoiding eyes as a no and his hand grabbed her chin to get her to face him directly, “So do we have a deal, sweetheart? I take you out right after your test for a date, if you pass?”

August held his breath as she unhooked his hand from her chin and leaned over him, planting a kiss on his cheek. His blue eyes were now wide as she had a toothy grin once she pulled away and with a smirk of her own said, “We have a deal, Henry.”

August found himself tapping his leg as he stared at the wall clock, hoping that his domineering stare would make time go faster. Thirty minutes had passed since Y/N started her driving exam and the agent found himself reevaluating in the meantime. Was asking her out on a date the only way to get close to Roberts?

Of course it was, he thought, She said her father will return in two weeks. You’d only have to go out with her once a week and somehow bring him into their conversation and hopefully milk out more intel about him.

Seeing a man dressed in a flannel-patterned polo reeled him back into the present; trailing behind the man was Y/N who had a blank expression on her face. Furrowing his eyebrows he mouthed, “What happened?” Anxiety coursed through his body but it quickly left his body as she winked at him and turned to follow the man. “Do you want to retain your picture from your permit or want to take another one?” He overheard the man ask Y/N, prompting August to relax and smile as he connected the dots — she passed her exam! 

But as he was mentally celebrating her success he found himself thinking about how he now had to take her out on the date he promised. It’s just for work, he deliberated, only going out with her to know more about her father. Nothing more, nothing less. However there was this thought nagging him on the back of his head that it wasn’t just for that reason he was taking her out.

Henry groaned as her lips sucked on the sweet spot on his neck as her nails were planted on his shoulders. His large hands alternated between squeezing and rubbing her ass as she grinded herself on his lap.

They found themselves in this situation after Y/N giddily squealed at August how she passed; the agent kissed her forehead as he told her how proud he was of her. As they went to their date he let her drive and as he settled on the passenger seat, his hand rested on her thigh, testing the waters to see if she was comfortable with it — and by the way her thighs pressed against each other, caging in his hand between them, he got the message that she welcomed it happily.

Even throughout the dinner, they both couldn’t get enough of each other. The skin of their arms remained so close to each other that it was as if they were glued to each other. Y/N was beginning to think that the only reason Henry ordered pasta was so he could eat with a single hand so his opposite hand can rest on her thigh. But she wasn’t complaining as she rested her thigh above his.

As they drove back to her place one thing led to another and it ended with Y/N climbing over the console and situating herself on Henry’s lap as their mouths captured each other’s. Y/N unbuttoned his shirt as her lips littered his chest with kisses, she’d linger sometimes in a certain spot long enough to leave marks. 

Rolling her hips in his lap, she felt his hard on pressing against her clothed crotch and moaned against his skin. When her dainty fingers were done unclasping the buttons that confined his toned and broad upper body, her hand travelled lower to palm his bulge and before she could open the zipper Henry caught her roaming hand with his, “I think doing this in your house is far better than some cramped up vehicle; don’t you think?”

A blissed out nod was all the response Y/N could give; with that affirmation August opened the door and carried the girl out and shut the car door with his foot. With her legs wrapped around his waist, she planted kisses all over her instructor’s face. She whined as she was put down but understood that it was her cue to unlock the door; though the man behind her was not making the task easy as he was nipping at the skin of her neck and his hands were rubbing her arms.

“Fucking finally,” August rasped out as Y/N managed to unlock the front door and they both hastily entered and the agent shut and locked the door behin him; he spun her to face him so he could rip off her shirt and he smirked as the girl whimpered, clearly turned on with what he did. “Such a naughty girl you are, aren’t you? Going out without even covering these nice tits.” Wrapping his mouth around a breast, she ran her fingers through his hair to encourage him with what he was doing. Without detaching his mouth from her tit and instead switching between the two, he took the initiative to lead them into her couch. 

Pushing her to lie on her back, August rid himself of his clothes; he was moving too quickly that Y/N didn’t have the time to take a good look at his chiseled body. Hovering above her, he smirked at her once he noticed her thighs were clenching, “You’re a desperate little thing, aren’t you?”

Pathetically nodding she grabbed at his shoulders, “Please touch me, Henry.” Snarking at her he tore her leggings and her panties had the same fate. Now that she was just as exposed as he was, August leaned down to lick downwards from her clit and to her pussy. “You taste heavenly, love.” He lapped at her more, needing to quench his thirst for her and curiosity of what she would taste like. “As much as I adore your taste I’m afraid this will have to wait,” Pushing away her legs that wrapped around his neck, he kissed his way up until he was face to face with her.

“Why not?” She whined as she clawed at his back, moaning as she felt the plain of his back muscles. He distracted her by kissing her deeply as his hand stroked his cock a few times before sliding it in her in one stroke. “That’s why,” He huskily answered against her lips; he moved so his knees touched her thighs, allowing him to rut into her properly.

August removed his lips from hers as he instead planted kisses on her neck as his hands toyed with her nipples and breasts; Y/N, on the other hand, was whining about how good he felt. The skin at the back of her thighs was rippling as he thrusted himself in and out of her rapidly and harshly; the top of his thighs hitting against the back of hers, “You feel so good, Henry. So thick and hard inside me.” The man smirked at her wails, loving how wrecked she sounded — in the back of his nasty brain he noted that this was his favorite version of her.

Her hands held onto his biceps, nails leaving harsh marks on his pale and sweaty skin; it turned August even more how her delicate hands couldn’t even wrap half the size of his arm. Her velvet and silk-like walls were squeezing into his cock so tight that it was triggering his orgasm already — the agent would usually last longer, but given how turned on he was coupled with the fact the past week edged him, he was already close to unloading his bottled up frustrations.

“You already got me almost cumming,” He hoarsely whispered in her ear, feeling her wrap her legs around him to pull her closer against him. That didn’t stop him from slamming into her pussy to the point his trimmed pubic hair rubbed against her clit, adding more friction and pleasure for the both of them. “Seems like you are too, love,” Both her nipples were then squeezed to tease her even more and August was just even more amused with how responsive her precious body was underneath him.

“Please Henry, make me cum. I wanna feel your cum all over me too,” She managed to gasp out in between breaths; the man above her growled when he heard how good she sounded as she begged and had no choice but to comply. He leaned down to suckle on her nipple as the other breast was being toyed by his hand. Her clit too received attention as it was being rubbed and pinched with his other hand. As his hips slammed against her thighs harshly and his cock railed her in swift and sharp thrusts, Y/N could only moan and roll her eyes at the simulations she was receiving.

The only warning she could provide him of her impending orgasm was her patting against his biceps as her walls unexpectedly clung to his dick tighter than ever and came around him. August didn’t relent and continued his animalistic pace, milking her orgasm and removing his mouth from her tit to stare at her blissed out and drowsy state provoked his orgasm as well.

“Fucking hell, love,” He groaned out as he slid in all the way inside her and didn’t thrust furthermore as he spilled his load inside her. With their foreheads touching against each other, they breathed against each other to calm themselves down. Y/N’s hands removed themselves from Henry’s biceps; instead she was now stroking his back, as if coaxing the large man above her to calm down. While August rested his hands on her sides, as if memorizing every inch of her skin.

Y/N squealed as she was being lifted up and carried into her bedroom. Contrary to how she was laid down on the couch roughly, her former driving instructor laid her down gently. Kissing her forehead he went to her ensuite bathroom and returned with a towel. Y/N looked at him with loving eyes as he wiped off their combined juices that spilled out of her delicious cunt. Throwing the towel on her hamper, he then laid beside her and August chuckled lightly with how quick the girl was to latch herself onto him for a cuddle — and he did open his arms to welcome her and wrapped them around her smaller figure.

“I hope you don’t do this with all your students?” Her comment had him humorously rolling his eyes and Y/N giggled at his antics. “No, I don’t, love. I promise,” He even held his pinky up for a pinky promise and she was more than eager to latch her pinky with his; bringing their tangled pinkies to his mouth, Henry placed a gentle kiss on them before untangling them so they could hold hands instead. “Well I guess I’m really special?”

Nodding, he lowered his head down a bit so he could kiss her deeply and passionately. Breaking their kiss August replied, “So special that I want to take you out again next week,” Without even disconnecting their lips.

Y/N sleepily mumbled, “I’d like that a lot, Henry.” Her eyes were starting to feel heavy and August kissed her forehead again, “Sleep, love. I’ll be here in the morning.” She nodded against him and did so. For the next few minutes, the CIA agent reflected his actions and decisions. He told Sloane that he’d ask Y/N out on a date only to remain in contact with her. That was it — a date.

But how the hell did he end up enjoying the date — let alone her company and herself — and then taking her to bed? This was a mess. He shouldn’t have slept with her for it would just complicate things. When August saw how she was steadily breathing, he moved out of the bed and rested her head on a pillow. He went out to her living room to look for his pants that he earlier discarded; grabbing for his phone he sent out a text to Sloane :

Secured a meetup with Y/N next week. Will try to fish out more information about Roberts.

He turned off his phone and put it back in his pocket. As he was staring at his scattered clothes, he was debating whether he should stay the night with Y/N or just leave right now. Even though he knew which option seemed like the most logical, he surprised himself. He went back to bed and cuddled Y/N close as he too began to drift off to dormancy — he stayed.

[sarahjtv]

BNHA Chapter 325 Spoiler Analysis: United As One

The week has passed and so has summer.  Damn...  At least Shonen Jump’s got my back.  And Deku is finally welcome home thank god.  Now, give this kid a damn good meal, sleep, and a motherfreaking bath already.  NGL, this week has been busy for me and I’m tired AF, so I think I’ll only go over the parts that stuck out to me:

Man, god bless Kota for running up to Izuku to help him!  This kid has been through so much yet he still decided to run up to Izuku to help him.  He’s sobbing his eyes out too 😭.  I’m pretty sure he’s apologizing for not moving during the Muscular fight (in Kota’s defense, Izuku would’ve probably died if not for Kota) and he’s telling Izuku that “I am here” (OF COURSE HE SAYS THOSE WORDS) so Izuku doesn’t need to cry anymore.  And to top it all off, Kota calls Izuku “Nii-chan” which I’m pretty sure means older brother 😭❤️ If Horikoshi brings Eri in next week, I’m going to cry waterfalls dammit

The Fox Lady is so kind and pretty dammit Horikoshi give her a name already!  She’s so happy to see Deku again and thanks him for saving her.  Even calls him “Mr. Crybaby Hero” 😭  The way she picks him up like a small child is both sweet and funny too ☺️ I await the fanart!

A-AND THEN SHE AND KOTA HUG DEKU 😭💚💚💚💚

On a more serious note, the Fox Lady mentions that she got rejected from a lot of evacuation centers because they don’t accept mutant types like her.  Of course discrimination still exists in this world.  Of freakin’ course.  Just like in the real world...  And considering that Horikoshi mentioned that Shoji would have a role in the future and also show his face finally in some interviews (Horikoshi also teased that he wanted to give Shoji a bigger story YEARS ago), I have a feeling this subject will be brought up again in the future.

The Old Star Man from the first chapter/episode who encourages Deku to be a hero returns this chapter to give a big speech to the crowd.  This guy is a real one ✊.  Basically, he says that the crowd needs to shut up and understand what’s going on for a hot minute.  That everyone projected All Might’s “Perfect Heroness” onto the every other hero that they all forgot that Heroes are just people at the end of the day.  If the people don’t support the heroes still fighting now, they’re screwed.  Ultimately, it’s the civilians who have to save the heroes when they’re hurting.  Not just other heroes.  Horikoshi, please give this man a name too, he’s long deserved it.

Then the boy in the All Might shirt who’s been protesting for the past 2 chapters says something reasonable for once.  His views on Deku have been mixed around thanks to all the things that have been rumored about Deku on the internet and word of mouth.  Which kinda justifies his anger and doubt, but he still should’ve have been a jerk to Deku and Ochako.  

Deku finally speaks a full sentence declaring that he and his friends and mentors will make everything ok again.  I can’t wait to see that promise be fulfilled, my son 💚

We change focus to Shoto, Endeavor, and Hawks (who are confirmed to have been outside the barrier for the past few chapters; I was wondering about that).  They’re finally being allowed into UA for now.  Unfortunately the 3 of them probably would’ve caused more discourse if they entered while the civilians were rioting.  Endeavor and Hawks from the press release and just Shoto existing really.  Please let them stay there permanently.  

Gotta say that Endeavor looks so freaking tired throughout this whole thing.  The Toya thing + The Deku thing must be weighing extremely heavy on him.  I do feel bad for him honestly.  

Hawks tells Endeavor how OFA has, in a way, connected everyone together.  All Might to Deku to Class 1-A back to Deku to Ochako to the people.  And if the people can truly care for others, then the future will be bright and heroes will have all the time in the world just like Hawks wanted at the very beginning of his story.

There’s this really beautiful double page spread (teased in one of Vol. 31′s extras) of the civilians offering their umbrellas to the kids.  Kirishima’s crying happy tears, Kota and Mineta are running up to Deku, the All Might Shirt dude is offering Deku his umbrella, Kaminari is smacking Bakugo over the head 😂, Iida’s holding Deku’s hand to guide him, and INKO FINALLY GETS TO BE WITH HER SON THANK THE LORD 💚😭 

Shoto 💙 Our resident pretty boy is looking at this scene and ultimately decides that he and Endeavor are going to stop Dabi together.  He decided this before back in the hospital, but I think his decision is more final here.  I really need him to properly reunite with Deku though and I’m sure they have A LOT to talk about.

AND WE FINALLY GET TO PROPERLY SEE AIZAWA AFTER GOD KNOWS HOW LONG AND HE’S SO HANDSOME 🖤 MY MAN IS LOOKING GOOD WITH AN EYEPATCH?!?  And he does have a prosthetic robot leg and apparently Mirko does too.  God, he looks so tired, but he’s so proud of his kids Imma cry again 😭

Anyway, it’s looks like he’s still recovering from the war in the hospital and apparently also there to help with the whole Kurogiri situation, who’s been transferred to a research lab.  It seems like Aizawa’s trying to bring back Shirakumo somehow.  If they do, I wonder if Shirakumo will even still be alive.  We can assume that he might still be alive since he did tell the Heroes about the hospital, but it’s uncertain.  It would be nice to have that sweet soul back 🌤

Also, the Heroes are aware that Himiko Toga’s still out there and they’re taking extra persuasions to make sure she isn’t one of the refugees.  They also know her limits too, so that’s good.

The last panel is of All Might standing outside of UA, but his back is turned against them.  He has this uncertain look on his face too.  I honestly can’t read it for the life of me.  I gotta wonder why he isn’t walking in there now that everything seems to be ok.  Maybe he doesn’t want to accidentally cause more problems?  The public did start to hate him with the whole “I Am Not Here” sign on his statue in Kamino...  Deku does need him though.  Ugh, I’m so worried for this man.

And I do have a theory.  It’s a long shot and a dark one: What if Toga found Stain while running off and they teamed up together.  Then Stain found and took All Might captive and Toga took some of All Might’s blood to transform into him and now she’s the one outside of UA.  I can’t say if All Might is dead or not.  I really, really, REALLY, don’t want him to be dead.  Stain says that All Might is the only one truly worthy of being a Hero, so I doubt he would actively kill All Might.  But, god there’s so many death flags surrounding this man.  I don’t even know if he’s going to make it through the entire series tbh.

The end chapter teaser says “The rain continues on...” so I doubt this pain is over.  We have a bit of a calm, but I am so anticipating the next storm.

Me waiting for even more pain:     

[apenapaperandadoofus]

Reverse Big Bang

This was a work for the reverse big bang ( @mysme-rbb ) and acollaboration with the lovely @sapphireicecream ! She made a beautiful piece that I am in LOVE with!

Life and death are one thread, The same line viewed from different sides.

-Lao Tzu

Some say life and death are on the opposite ends of a spectrum. But are they actually?

Some reply yes, they are enemies and loathe each other. Others claim that no, they are both the same thing in the end. 

One part is true, though. Life and death had been enemies for a while, with both of them trying to best each other. Life created humans, who were immortal until Death came to take them away from the Earth. Life wouldn’t stand for that, and so she kept trying to find someone who could live eternally, that could cheat death 

Death was trying to overpower her by trying to wipe out everything he could touch. 

Death was on a rampage. Everywhere you turned a life would be taken away. Meanwhile, Life kept trying her best to keep humans alive. 

This rivalry kept going for years and years, each generation of Life and Death trying to cheat each other, to be the most powerful one, to be the winner.

However, that would come to a change.

………

She quickly made her way through the garden, a plate on her hands filled with cheese, figs, and olives dripped in honey. 

No matter how much she abhorred him, she wasn’t heartless enough to leave him without eating. 

The gazebo where she held him prisoner coming into view. She grasped the plate tighter as she made her way closer. 

He had his back to her, looking at some flowers, but he rapidly spun around when he heard her clear her throat.

 “Here’s your food.” She said, still not meeting his gaze.

“...thank you.” He replied and sat down to enjoy his meal. 

While he was focused on eating, she stole a glance towards him and then felt her face burn. She had to admit he was very handsome, even if he was the god of Death. 

Jumin.

Even if his hair was messy, he still looked like a perfect statue, made by one of the finest artist in the world. 

She immediately cringed at the thought. Gosh, this guy was really making her think weird things, wasn’t he? Still….she wanted to touch him. To feel his soft skin, to run her fingers through his hair, and to even touch his horns. She would have if he hadn’t looked up at her at that exact moment. 

She immediately pulled her hand behind her back. 

Jumin stood up and handed her the plate. “Thank you for the food.” 

“No problem.”

There was a bit of awkward silence, and she thought about making an excuse and leaving, but Jumin opened his mouth to speak at that same moment.

"I have to-"

“This-“

They both said at the same time. She felt her face flush.

“Sorry, sorry, you go first.”

“No, I apologize, you were saying something, I’m sorry for interrupting,” Jumin said.

She shook her head. “It’s fine, it is nothing! What did you want to say?” 

Gosh, she was being way too polite to a guy she was supposed to hate. She assumed it was because of the unfair advantage that he was really cute.  

Jumin stared at her for a moment before clearing his throat. 

“I just wanted to say that...this is a beautiful garden.”

 She glanced up at him and nodded. “It is.”

“Did you grow it yourself?” 

“No. Life made it..the original one, I mean. The one from the very beginning. Throughout time, all the other generations have been taking care of it.”

“I see. It must be a very important place.”

She nodded. “It is. This is the garden that was made of Life’s tears as she mourned the death of humans. They were her proudest creations, and to see them being taken by death crushed her.” She said those last words with a hint of spite in her tone. 

Jumin looked the other way, but he could still feel her glare on him. He sighed. “I’m... I’m sorr-“

“Don’t apologize. Especially when you don’t mean it. You clearly don’t care about humans. You don’t care about anyone but yourself, just like the Death before you, and the Death before him, and so on and so forth. All you care is about destruction.”

Jumin clenched his fists, looking ashamed. “I am very sorry for what my ancestors did, I truly am. But let me assure you, I don’t share any of their beliefs. I don’t want to be anything like the-“

"Yeah right." She scoffed. How could he say that after taking...taking her away? He was trying to make her feel guilty, to trick her so he could leave this prison and go back to killing and destroying. And she wasn't going to let that happen.

She spun around and walked away, glancing back only to say she was going to bring him food later. She didn’t wait for his reply as she left the garden.

……

The god of Death paced around the small gazebo, every once in a while stopping to marvel at the flowers growing around him. He’d love to touch them, but he knew if he did they would immediately wither away. 

He closed his eyes as he tried to distract himself from the current situation. He had to admit; it was nice to take a break every once in a while, from the dark depths of the underworld, the only sound being the screams of the souls coming down. It wasn’t exactly a job he liked. 

It was kind of ironic; he thought. To be the god of death, but want to have the power to do the exact opposite. Instead of taking lives away, to create them. 

He wanted to escape that hellish place no matter what. So, when he found an opening in the cave, small rays of light streaming in, he left his throne and walked over to investigate. He should’ve known it was a trap. That it wouldn’t end well. 

Still, he wanted to leave so badly, he’d use any excuse, no matter how dumb. And so what if he suddenly got kidnapped by the goddess of life in her beautiful garden? He wasn’t complaining.

He didn’t know why the goddess would want to imprison him, but, he thought, why wouldn’t she? No one likes the god of death. They all despise him.

Still...he had to admit he wasn’t having an awful time. It was...interesting in a way.

He thought Life was a bit...confusing. Sometimes she would be so terrible to him, glowering and snapping at every small thing he did. But then other times she’d show this...this kindness that would make his chest feel warm. 

He’d never felt that way before, but he had to admit he didn’t mind.

 …….

At first, their relationship comprised only small conversations, saying here’s your food, and thank you for the food, and no problem. 

She was always stiff around him, not meeting his gaze. No matter how many times he’d tried to apologize, she still seemed to think of him as Death, destruction, chaos, everything he didn’t want to be seen as. 

At one point he had truly given up. It was obvious Life would not change her view of him, no matter what he did, so why bother?

He gazed at the chrysanthemums growing beside the gazebo. They were beautiful. He had only seen one part of the garden, and he couldn’t help but yearn to see all of it. The essence of life, all around him, without death hovering over his shoulder. 

“They’re beautiful, aren’t they?” A familiar voice said from behind him. Jumin jumped a bit and then turned to see….see her.  

He cleared his throat. “They are. This entire garden is. I’d love to see more of it.” 

She scoffed but then bit her lip as if debating whether to indulge him for a bit. She sighed. 

“Why are you so interested in flowers and plants? Shouldn’t you be focused on something else?” 

His mouth formed a thin smile. “I have always loved flowers. I love seeing them...grow and bloom. It’s amazing how full of life they are, how something so beautiful could exist.”

They stood in silence for a few seconds until the surrounding air seemed to change. When Jumin looked up, he noticed something. The door was open. He looked at her in confusion. 

“Well, c’mon. Get out of there. You said you wanted to see the rest of the garden, right?” She gestured for him to come over, and he strolled down the steps, feeling the grass beneath his feet and the sun hit his skin, hearing the birds sing, a gust of wind tangling his hair. 

And then….then he smiled and let out a small laugh. 

She couldn’t help but stare in awe at the beautiful sight. 

For the first time in weeks, she had seen him smile. An actual smile, one that lit up his entire face. And his laugh, god his laugh. She felt her heartbeat quicken once she heard that beautiful sound. 

She shook her head. What was with her?? He’s supposed to be her enemy, a man she despises, the one who took everything she loved. But...right now, he seemed like the exact opposite. 

Instead of the god of Death, something that everyone despised and feared, he appeared like a normal person….

Well, in reality, he looked like a kid who loves sweets that was just brought to a place full of candy, or like a puppy when you tell them you’re going on a walk, but he was so different from what she expected. 

Maybe...when he apologized, he truly meant it. Maybe he wasn’t the scary, cold god that everyone thought he was. 

She should give him a chance. 

She knows that’s what...what she would have wanted. Not for them to become enemies, but for them to slowly understand each other. 

Well….better late than never, right?

 …..

Their walks around the garden became a daily activity. She would come and open the door, letting Jumin out, and then they’d walk around the place. She’d tell him the meanings of each flower, and eventually, as she became more comfortable, she’d tell him stories about the names and how they came to be. 

As time passed, they became more comfortable around each other.

They’d have a pleasant picnic and talk about their lives, what they liked to do. The goddess of life found that Jumin had a very lonely life. He didn’t have many friends, just one that he had known since he was a kid, but wasn’t able to talk with much now. 

He never went out and always stayed at home. He knew no one really wanted to be with him, anyway. And so, the goddess of life felt her icy heart thawing the more time she spent with him. 

….

He could tell there was something bothering her, but whenever she asked she would brush it off. He had made it his personal goal, that if he wasn’t able to find out what was bothering her, then he’d try to at least make her feel better.

He wasn’t good at it, however. He had never really comforted someone before. 

Every once in a while, whenever Jumin found her smile falter a bit and her gaze shift down, he’d try to tell a joke.

He’d try.

The first time she looked at him as if he had spawned a third head. 

In the second one, she was a bit confused but seemed to calm down for a bit. 

Eventually, he made her laugh. 

He, of course, thought his joke-telling skills were getting better, so whenever he could he’d try to make up some in the gazebo instead of sleeping. 

He loved her laugh, her smile. It made his heart jump, and it couldn’t help but make him smile too.

He was...falling for her.

And what sealed the deal was one day as she was escorting him back to the gazebo, and after he told some other silly joke, she giggled and poked his nose.

“Haha, Jumin! I would’ve never thought the god of death could be so...so adorable. If you keep this up, I think I’m really going to fall for you.”

They both stopped in their tracks and looked at each other. Jumin felt his heart beat fast, and she blushed, her entire face, even her ears, turning red.

“Uh- uhmm... I’m...uh...well...goodnight!!” She quickly said and turned around on her heel as she walked away from the gazebo. 

A smile slowly spread out on Jumin’s face, becoming bigger and bigger every second.

Her words echoed in his head. 

If you keep this up, I think I’m really going to fall for you.

She was falling….for him.

Did she...did she feel the same way? 

He couldn’t stop shifting the entire night, unable to sleep. He was far too giddy and happy to do that. 

She might love him, just as much as he loves her.

Jumin couldn’t keep his dorkish smile off his face that night. And the morning after. 

He had to stop himself from kissing her right there as soon as he saw her.

He wanted to take things slow. If he wanted her to fall for him, then he’d gave to show her how much she mattered to him. 

.

.

.

A few days later, as the two of them ate in an unknown part of the garden that hadn’t been explored, Jumin noticed something. At the end of the garden, there was a small sort of...fountain. It had different flowers all around them, some he didn’t even think could grow this time of the year. 

She caught him staring, and when he noticed he flushed and cleared his throat, embarrassed.

“Sorry. Uhm, those flowers are very beautiful. I haven’t seen them in the garden before.”

She gave a small smile. “Yeah. I had them especially made for this place.”

This place? Jumin felt confused. What was different about this place from the others?

She let out an uncomfortable as she fidgeted with a flower in her braid, adjusting the ones that had become crooked or were about to fall. 

“This place was somewhere I used to go with a friend every day. A...very dear friend...I’ve known her since we were children. She...uhm...she passed away at the beginning of the year.” 

Jumin felt a chill run down his spine. 

Now it all made sense.

Why she kidnapped him. Why she was always so cold to him, why she loathed him. 

But….that was before. And now look at her, showing him places around the garden, bringing him food, telling him things about herself that no one else knew.

The only sound that could be heard was their breathing. The birds had stopped singing, and the wind had stopped blowing, making the air still around them.

Jumin eventually met her gaze, and as soon as he did, he felt his heartbreak.

She was crying. 

And that made him want to cry too. 

He hadn’t realized just how much he had cared about her, and this new wave of feelings to want to protect her, to hug her, and make all her problems go away. But then there was also this crushing guilt. It was his fault. The woman he loved was heartbroken, and it was because of him.

He could barely breathe.

In fact...he wasn’t really breathing at all. He couldn’t seem to.

A lot of things happened at once.

He felt a sort of darkness surrounding him, clouding his view. And then the next thing he remembers is her beautiful voice calling for him, and her warm arms wrap around his body. 

Even after what he did, she still cared about him. But why? 

He didn’t deserve any of her kindness.

 …..

“Jumin?” 

He woke up in a familiar field of flowers. The sky was darker now, the sun about to set. He looked up and felt his heart stop at the sight. She had laid him on her lap and was gently running her fingers through his hair. She looked beautiful, with the remaining rays of sun appearing to make a halo in her hair. Well, she was definitely an angel. 

He slowly sat up and kept his gaze on the ground. A small hand touched his shoulder, but he tensed up and moved it away. 

“Jumin...I’m... I’m…”

“You don’t have to say anything. It’s me who should apologize….why….why didn’t you tell me?” He looked up at her, finally, an icy glare in his eyes.

“I...well...I didn’t...it wasn’t supposed to go this way.” She whispered.

“You should have told me. All this time, the thing that was making you sad, that was causing you pain, was me. Me. Why have you even kept me around? Wait...no. I understand now. All of this...it was a lie, wasn’t it?”

“Jumin, it wasn’t I-“

“I took away someone very dear from you, of course, you’d be mad. Of course, you would never forgive me...not after that. You...you made me care about you, grow fond of you, to...to love you. Just so at the end, you could crush my heart as I crushed yours…”

“That was not what I wanted to do, believe me-“ she sobbed.

He stood up and gave a dry laugh. “It makes sense. Why would you even care about me? I am the god of death, I destroy things, I am someone that takes things away from people. I am a...a monster. And who could ever love a monster?” He whispered.

“Jumin, you are not a monster! Listen to me!” She stood up and tried to grab his hands, but he pulled away. “Jumin…”

It had become nighttime now. Fireflies were flying around them, and the only source of light was the full moon in the sky. 

She took one step forward. And then another. And another, until she was close to him. She slowly moved her hands and touched his cheek, now wet from tears. He was crying. And to be honest, she was probably crying too.

She cupped his cheek and leaned closer.

“You are not a monster, Jumin. You are...you are the most caring, amazing, intelligent, beautiful man that I have ever met. I’m...I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you. I never thought it’d end like this. Gods, by now you should be... never mind....but...I am happy that...that I got to know you better, that I saw the real you. I had filled my heart with hate and wanted to take it out on you, which is something I should have never done. Jumin...I care about you so much and..and I’m so sorry I was so...so heatless towards you. I was cold and mean when you didn’t deserve any of it. It’s you who should be mad at me.”

They were now both sobbing, gripping each other’s hands tightly. Jumin gently took one hand and lead it towards her chest. She looked up at him, confused. 

“You are not heartless. Out of everyone in the world, I am sure you’re the one that has the biggest heart. You always bring love with you wherever you go. You’re kind, brave, compassionate, and beautiful. How could I ever be mad at you?” He gently lifted her chin to make her look up at him. “You are the first person who has shown me this amount of kindness...of love, even if I don’t deserve it.” 

She moved her face closer. “You deserve it, Jumin. More than anyone in the world.” 

He smiled as he caressed her cheek. Slowly, they closed the distance between each other with a gentle kiss. 

Their lips were soft against each other, and Jumin couldn’t help but yearn for her touch more. He wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her closer.

When they pulled away, leaning their foreheads against each other, they couldn’t help the big smile on their faces.

“I love you.” He whispered.

“I love you too.”

Suddenly, a gust of wind blew against them, and when they looked around them, they found fireflies dancing all around them. 

She laughed, and then gently pulled a very awed Jumin towards her. She placed both his hands on her waist and then wrapped her arms around his neck.

She giggled when he raised an eyebrow. 

“Have you never danced?” She asked.

He shook his head. “Isn’t there supposed to be music to dance?”

“No, not really. You can sometimes dance with the person you love with no music.”

They both blushed at her words, and Jumin smiled. 

“Then…let’s dance, my love.” 

And so they danced. 

Eventually, as the night ended, she led him to a small bed of flowers. They spent the rest of the night in each other’s heated embrace, whispering words of love to each other.

And that was how life and death became one.

 .

.

.

.

.

She woke up early. The sun wasn’t out yet. She couldn’t help but smile as she saw him sleeping beside her, his hair messy from the night before.

She slowly slipped from the bed and summoned a small robe, so she wouldn’t feel as cold. 

As she walked through the garden, she knew like the back of her hand, she couldn’t help but feel a shiver run down her spine. And this time it wasn’t because of the cold.

When she finally made it to a small clearing, she bit her lip and looked around. There was no one.

Perfect.

“Rika!!!” She called out. “Rika!! I know you’re here! Come out!!” 

She heard a bubbly laugh from behind her, and she spun around.

“That’s not a pleasant way to call someone over my dear~ I thought they had taught you better than that.” 

She bit her lip as she watched Rika slowly come out from the darkness, her cold green eyes making the hairs on the back of her neck stand. 

“Cut the crap. I’m here to call the deal off.” She seized out a large dagger and threw it at Rika’s feet. “You can have this back.”

Rika chuckled and walked towards the dagger, picking it up and then twirling it around her fingers. “How rude~ I’m guessing you weren’t able to kill him then? A shame, really, that would’ve made things easier for me. I thought you were perfect for the job, so I can’t say I’m not disappointed.”

“I want nothing to do with you or your stupid plan anymore. Don’t come here ever again, I want this to be the last time I see you.”

“Oh, dear. You have really fallen for him, haven’t you?” 

She felt a blush creep up her face as Rika walked closer to her. 

“Dear, let me give you a piece of advice, from someone who’s been in love before. Never give yourself to anyone. They will all betray you in the end.”

“Jumin is not like that.”

“Oh trust me, that’s what you think now. You will think his love is the most wonderful thing in the world, and you’ll want to be surrounded by it all the time. Although eventually, that love becomes too much and you’ll start suffocating, and no matter how much you try to let go, he will only drag you deeper and deeper, until you aren’t able to breathe, to think, to live.”

Rika was now closer, their noses about to touch. Her eyes filled with madness, and her grip on Life’s arms had become so tight, that blood was coming out. Life found at that moment, what genuine fear was like. 

She tried to pull away and took in a deep breath of air as Rika let go. 

“Rika, go! Away! I’m serious! It won’t be like that, it’ll never be like that. Our love is pure, it’s real. Jumin would do nothing to harm me, and I would never do anything to harm him. And...and I swear that if you ever lay so much as a finger on him, I will make you regret the day that you were born.” She said through gritted teeth.

Rika raised an eyebrow, her smile disappearing from her face. She quickly grabbed Life’s hand and slashed her palm open, making her let out a pained gasp.

“You will not threaten me,” Rika whispered. “You will help me with my plan, and you will get rid of Jumin. I command you to, and if you don’t, then I have a perfect spot for your dead body once I’m done ripping you to shreds.”

Life felt her blood run cold and she couldn’t move. She couldn’t do anything.

“Now then, I do have to get going. These things will not get done by themselves, and I don’t think Ray is...capable enough to do the next step. I will come in two weeks and by then I hope you’ll have gotten over your silly crush and get me Death’s heart. I’m not asking, by the way, this is an order that you will carry out, one way or another. It’s up to you if you choose to do it the easy way or the hard way. Toodle-oo!”

 She laughed and vanished, leaving as quick as she came. 

Life panted, falling to her knees, the dagger still in her hand. Not only that, but a big, black scar had formed where Rika had cut her, sending the dark magic that came from it.

What was she going to do now?

Shit.

.

.

.

“Is everything alright love?” Jumin’s sleepy voice called out to her as she walked back to the flower bed. She felt her worries disappear for a second as she heard his nickname for her.

“I’m... I’m fine. I just... thought I heard something over there. It was just a snake though, nothing to worry about.”

Jumin hummed and motioned for her to come and lay down next to him. She took off her robe and laid beside him, their bare chests touching.

He hugged her tightly and kissed the top of her head, sighing happily. 

“I love you so much.” He whispered.

“I love you too, Jumin.” 

Eventually, he fell back asleep, his chest rising and falling with every breath and a small smile on his face.

Life, however, couldn’t seem to fall asleep. Her mind was repeating over and over what Rika had said. What in the world was she going to do now?

One thing she decided about though, as she hugged him tighter. She promised that no matter what, she would let no one come near the one she loved.

[maddiebiscuits]

Personal Opinions on FFXIV Villains (in general order of appearance)

As a note, I will not be including any pre-A Realm Reborn villains (as I did not play the original Final Fantasy XIV) nor will I be including any one-off primals, raid bosses, etc. I will be trying to focus on villains as they appear in main or side storylines, in cut scenes, that have some over-arching influence on the story they participate in with something akin to a clear presence - Garleans, Ascians, and so on. Also SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS.

Rhitahtyn sas Arvina

Rhitahtyn gets the shaft out of Gaius’ three main players in A Realm Reborn. A conscript from a Empire-conquered land who rose to power and respect, directly honored by Gaius himself, and possessing an even temper and noble ambition really helped to level out Nero and Livia’s general nonsense. Unfortunately, Rhitahtyn is provided almost no screen-time, development or exploration, and as years have passed, his in-game 8-man trial can now be completed in a regular synced party in mere seconds. He deserved a lot better than what he got, yet remained too sidelined to really leave me feeling invested in wanting to see what sort of story this character could be used to tell.

Livia sas Junius

When first playing through A Realm Reborn my feelings on Livia were...tepid, but optimistic. Of Gaius’ three main players, Livia was easily the most active and ruthless, lacking the shady “long game” and self-serving ambitions of Nero or the more honorable, measured personality of Rhitahtyn. Suffice to say, the dawning (and then confirmed) realization that Livia’s sole motivation seeing the plan of the man she loved through to completion by any means, to the point of tunnel-visioned, murderous intent, was...disappointing. Add to that Livia was raised by Gaius in her backstory, the man being a father figure to her, and the romance motivation becomes even more unhinged (especially since it is largely considered to be a reciprocated romance, at least physically, by Gaius - barf)

Nero tol Scaeva

Nero has become a fan favourite character over the years, thanks to his continued development into Cid’s boyfriend foil rather than outright villain of the main storyline. This development was easy to spot early enough though, as it was clear Nero’s fealty to Gaius was largely self-serving. He didn’t care much about conquering Eorzea or felling primals/eikons - he just wanted to show that he possessed the brilliance to build weapons capable of doing so. His speech/squabble with Cid during the Praetorium sequence paints that picture even more clearly if the players missed the not-so-subtle implications for Nero’s character already. The man lived, breathed and seethed with inferiority when compared to Cid, and in the end he did ultimately prove his engineering mastery, even if the Warrior of Light took it (and him) down. Ultimately though, Nero serves as a much better supporting and “redeemed” character than a villain, so I do have to rank him pretty low.

Gaius van Baelsar

Aside from whatever...weird...thing was going on between him and Livia (again - barf), Gaius in A Realm Reborn was a pretty solid villain, with clear-cut motivations that I actually understood, and begrudgingly agreed with to a small extent. As legatus, Gaius was still the tyrannical arm of the Garlean Empire, but a level-headed one who was more interested with the purging of the primal/eikon threat from Eorzea than subjugating other peoples. Further development of this character into something of an anti-hero and glimpses of how other characters viewed him in flashbacks in later expansions ends up providing his A Realm Reborn rendition with more strength in retrospect. The heads of the three city-states deciding to accept Gaius off to willingly join the Empire is a pretty good sticking point for the validity of his plan as well. Ultima Weapon is...you know, pretty impossible for Ul’dah, Gridania and Limsa Lominsa to face down if they refuse, but more enticing is its ability to, indeed, single-handedly defeat primals/eikons - something the city-states desperately need at their disposal, having been plagued by such threats constantly, for years and years.

Gaius cuts a pretty direct swath to the truth of the Twelve as well - they’re no different than the primals/eikons he seeks to eradicate, and the more stock Eorzeans put into them, the more empowered they become should someone ever try to summon one, making Eorzeans no better than the beastmen and their ‘gods’. Join the Empire and have protection from such powers, and put faith into the leadership of man, versus that of fictional deities that can be given terrifying form...in the world of Final Fantasy XIV, that’s not a terrible proposition. But it would still subject thousands of people to the Empire’s tyranny, so even if Gaius has the oft-coveted ‘Point’ that most villains wish they had, he still must be stopped. Eorzea will simply find other ways to endure the primal/eikon threat rather than bend the knee, and I like that defiant angle the Warrior of Light represents to counter Gaius’ character. Also, Ascian meddling and Hydaelyn shenanigans, sure, but I don’t feel that takes away from the core conflict that Gaius presents. He was a good villain, and I’m happy to see him return and go through the motions of penance for his past deeds and aid the supporting cast now, elevating him even higher into a good character, in general.

Lahabrea

I admit I have a soft spot for Lahabrea, only because he seems to be a universal punching bag for heroes and villains alike in Final Fantasy XIV. He lacks the more subdued, long-term planning of Elidibus or the explored nuance and sympathy of Emet-Selch - he’s sort of the odd one out between the trifecta that make up the unsundered Ascians. Just a blindly-tempered zealot of Zodiark, seemingly more enthused by the ancient primal’s return than the promise of the world being set back to how it was before The Final Days. Even the other Ascians don’t seem to like Lahabrea that much - Elidibus seems keenly aware that Lahabrea has gone off the deep end, constantly needing reminders and wrangling-in to keep the plan in motion. But I will admit, he serves his purpose well enough, and the additional side-story that reveals that Lahabrea was a brilliant scholar unmatched in the Amaurotine field of ‘phantom creation’ was a nice touch to explain why he’s pretty dang good at getting people to try and summon primals and conjuring or corrupting monsters himself. By no effort of Square Enix themselves, I sort of feel bad for the guy. He really was just Doing His Best, and getting no respect for it. His end was also anti-climatic, but by the time it happened, there were far more interesting characters and stories to tell, and he was unnecessary - it was just better this way, Lahabrea.

Nabriales

This one-bit player served one substantial purpose, and it was to see an Ascian get obliterated permanently and thus provide the means and understanding to battle Ascians in the future. Except that the cost to do so was a throw-away villain, a throw-away damsel-in-distress 8-man trial, and turning Moenbrya, a character with a lot of potential to be great, into a throw-away character who has to make an untimely sacrifice because the script says so. Nabriales you’re boring, you’re bad, you’re a waste of time and your mutton chops are dumb as hell.

Ilberd Feare

You know what, I like this villain. I absolutely want to punch his face in, but I figure getting that sort of rise out of me on sight is intended, since, you know: villain. His motivations aren’t bad either, even if his methods are deplorable. The speech he gives at the very end of A Realm Reborn to rile up Raubahn is pretty effective too. Despite both being refugees of Ala Mhigo, Raubahn fought his way to wealth and status, and Ilberd was never afforded that chance, or at least never quite managed. Raubahn pledged himself more to Ul’dah and the Immortal Flames with his new privileges, however, and Ilberd was perhaps right to resent that, with Ala Mhigo still under the yoke of the Empire, and so many refugees left to flounder in The Black Shroud and Thanalan both, Raubahn seemingly unwilling to step in. Ilberd saw the opportunity to change the status quo and took it, and proceeded to rally others to reclaim Ala Mhigo. If the city-states would not help, then they would be forced to help, and for all his dirty tactics, punch-able face and Shinryu-summoning finale, Ilberd’s plan did work: he forced the hand of the city-states to fight against the Empire to reclaim Ala Mhigo, and did indeed remind Raubahn and other passive Ala Mhigans that there was still an important job to do. So, good job Ilberd. Gold star. Now perish.

Teledji Adeledji

I thought the politics at the very end of A Realm Reborn were intriguing, and Teledji’s heel-turn pretty fun, since of all the Monetarists, he seemed to be painted as the most reasonable. Though I found his game plan a bit...suspect. Yes, a poisoned goblet assassination attempt on the Sultana that he could frame on someone else, while usurping control of the Crystal Braves so he could make a bid for full Monetarist control of Ul’dah (with him at the helm) makes sense on paper, but I’m not sure why he sought to frame the Warrior of Light for it, and implicate the Scions either. While it’s true that the Warrior and the Scions would be an obstacle and want to investigate the death, and would prove tenacious foes, if you think about the scenario a bit more, it seems unnecessary. The Warrior and Scion efforts were likely going to start swinging towards Ishgard and the Dragonsong War, to better embellish the northern city-state’s relations with the Eorzean Alliance, nor are the Warrior or Scions people you’d want to make an enemy, especially with the Warrior being one of the only people who can defeat primals (a very active threat in Thanalan).

Framing Lolorito would have been a wiser idea, as he was already disliked and untrustworthy in the eyes of many, powerful and dangerous to compete with though he is. If Lolorito had been framed, Raubahn and the Scions may not have questioned it, and Teledji could have enjoyed planting himself in the eye of the power vacuum that was to come while the Warrior of Light focused their energy up north. Instead, Teledji bet on the wrong chocobo and paid dearly for it - his plan fell apart (and so did he) in more ways than he could anticipate, but on the whole? This was a pretty intriguing and entertaining storyline, I enjoyed it.

Lady Iceheart / Ysayle Dangoulain

I debated putting Ysayle on this list because by the first act of Heavensward, she’s not a villain - but, she certainly was in A Realm Reborn and going into Heavensward, so we might as well just keep representing how good Heavensward is and include her here. Aside from Minfillia, this is one of the only ever characters you meet early(ish) who shares The Echo with the Warrior of Light. Unlike Minfillia or the Warrior, though, Ysayle doesn’t really adhere to the call of Hydaelyn. Instead, her powers allowed her to hear and learn the truth of Ishgard’s history: that it was a lie, and that King Thordan broke the peace in a bid for power for Ishgard, turning Nidhogg to rage and setting the Dragonsong War into motion. Having witnessed Ishgard’s cruelty at a young age when her home was destroyed by snow and ice after the Seventh Umbral Calamity, and knowing what she knew and maintaining close bonds with dragons throughout her life, it’s sort of easy to see why Ysayle would be set upon the path she is. She wishes to end the war much like how Thordan does: ending it, with the dragons as the victors.

Her slap in the face is when she confronts Hraesvelgr though, her bid to sort of not only take the form of Saint Shiva but embody her memory being dismissed as a pale imitation. Saint Shiva wished for true peace, whereas Ysayle demands it through bloodshed - she realizes this, and changes her current course. This is why I debated to list her as a villain, because her gradual change into a supporting character and hero is a logical conclusion as she and Heavensward’s story develops. She starts a villain and dies a hero.

Igeyorhm

Full disclosure: I completely forgot this character existed. And I still don’t actually know why they exist. They’re a second to Lahabrea during the events of Heavensward, and is easily shut down by the Warrior of Light before being annihilated permanently by Thordan. Despite this, I don’t find their existence as offensive as Nabriales’, so...that counts for something.

Archbishop Thordan VII

When I first encountered Thordan (”pope grandpa”, if you will), I thought “oh, he’s evil”, because “church bad” isn’t exactly and uncommon trope and it’s apparent that Ishgard is a broken and unjust society, with this man sitting at the highest seat of power and consorting with Ascians. Yet to my surprise Thordan was...pretty reasonable. At least to start. He makes his audience with the Ascians known and seems unaffected by them and their schemes, is polite and cordial to the Warrior of Light...he doesn’t seem so bad. But the gut feeling remains, and slowly builds as Thordan’s true plan is revealed, becoming a primal-esque deity. And much like Nidhogg, I do get his motivations. Trying to broker peace with the dragons, to him, is just not going to happen - in fact, it’s insulting to ask dragons and Ishgardians both to make a bid for it, when so many people have died and live with the burden of hatred and grief. His solution is more direct: end the war entirely, by winning it for Ishgard.

After assuming his new form and powers, him and his Heavensward have the power to thwart any dragons that oppose them, perhaps even Nidhogg himself if the dreadwrym were to re-appear. Fueled by the generations’-worth of prayers from the Ishgardian population, Thordan was set on ending the war and ousting the dragons from the land, ushering in peace and prosperity. But the Ishgard he sought to protect and defend was built on a history spun of bloodshed and lies, and the dragons were not the true enemy and did not deserve to be put to the sword. Thordan’s plan would have worked in the way he envisioned it, and he made a good argument for it, even if it was ultimately wrong, and that’s a good villain.

Nidhogg

Having come to Final Fantasy XIV from World of Warcraft, a giant, scary black dragon that rants on and on about suffering and misery and pain and vengeance was something of a red flag for a Very Bad Story. Imagine my surprise when Nidhogg was given the screen-time to be properly fleshed out and explored, his motivations and hatred more sympathetically-human than his giant dragon body would have one believe, his presence menacing and well-paced, and his overall being representing the true, dark heart of the Dragonsong War: the cycle of hatred. For dragons, centuries are like days, and the pain Nidhogg feels is no less than what he felt when the Ishgardians brutally broke their pact. Because of this, with each re-emergence of him and his brood, the wheel of suffering turns anew, breathing new hate-filled life into the ongoing Dragonsong War, generation to generation. Time has no effect on his turmoil, and his existence ensures that no other Ishgardians will ever be able to move on from the war either, even as generations continue on.

I find Estinien being consumed by Nidhogg’s rage very thematic as well, Estinien truly embodying the countering hatred the Ishgardians feel towards the dragons, and it makes the final trial with Nidhogg bittersweet. He defeats Hraesvelgr, because as long as Nidhogg exists even the brightest hope for peace will be squashed under the cycle of malice and war. The Warrior of Light must put him down because he cannot be saved - but Estinien still can, and can choose to move on and pursue the peace that Nihogg strived to prevent and Ysayle died to see come to fruition. And he does, and it’s touching, and Heavensward is SO FUCKING GOOD I LOVE THIS EXPANSION.

Quickthinx Allthoughts

I don’t care much for timey-wimey storylines, but I found the Alexander plot easy enough to follow, and the timeloop it creates to be manageable. The truth about the Enigma Codex and the journal Quickthinx has isn’t exactly hard to figure out though once time travel becomes a part of the plot, and beyond beind a fun goblin with a cute kitty cat friend...there’s just not much in the way of compelling character writing here for this gobbo.

Diabolos

Big ancient demon is revived and wants to wreak havoc. Uninspiring, but its also not necessary for Diabolos to be anything more than what he is either. The heart of the Void Ark storyline is the tribulations of Cait Sith, the sky pirates and the history of the Mhachi, Diabolos just being an excuse to explore those characters and lore.

Regula van Hydrus

Regula deserved better damnit. This is the last Garlean villain with nuance and humanity before Stormblood turns everyone who is so much as associated with the Garlean Empire into a cartoonishly-evil, absolutely twisted, reprehensible confusing mess of a person.

Fordola rem Lupis

Stormblood has a lot of story, pacing and character problems. A lot. It has its moments and some people love this expansion, but I do not and its villains are a very large reason why that is. Fordola, for example, had the potential to be quite interesting. She was raised to believe in what her father did: that Gaius and the Empire were not all bad, and then watched her father die trying to protect her from angry, almost barbaric Ala Mhigans who decided that pelting a little girl with rocks because her parents were Empire-sympathizers and supporters was an okay thing to do (as the Garlean soldiers just watched on and let it happen without intervening because they didn’t feel like it - a fact that Fordola knows and remembers). You would think this event would have a sort of polarizing effect on her, feeling betrayed by both her people and the Empire her father believed in, feeling caught in the middle, in need of finding her identity and sense of self. Instead she...basically throws her entire stock in with the Empire, deciding that if she’s a good little soldier for the Empire, then Garleans will have to change their minds about Ala Mhigans and respect them because, see, look: an Ala Mhigan is a respected Garlean asset.

Except this backfires over, and over, her Ala Mhigan team nothing more than vicious dogs that never bite the hand that feeds them, turning their teeth on their own people instead. Fordola is constantly belittled and ridiculed for her heritage and even her gender by the Garleans, and at no point does she ever stop and go “wow maybe the Empire sucks hot ass and I’ve been terribly wrong about my motives this whole time”. And yet, no...Zenos offers her power in some magitek-aether experiment, she kills her own Skulls team, she finished the expansion jailed for her crimes, believing until the very end that the Garleans will win (they did not). She utilizes her anti-primal abilities once, and vanishes from the plot entirely, only to re-appear in a bad side-story where the Immortal Flames have her hooked up to some penalty-of-death submission collar so she doesn’t act out so they can use her synthetic Echo abilities to fight a re-summoned Ifrit.

Bad character, bad writing, and a waste of her new, game-changing anti-primal abilities.

Grynewaht pyr Arvina

This is such...a stupid character. His design, his voice and dialogue...I can’t tell what Grynewaht is supposed to be. Is he comedic relief? Because he’s not funny. Is he a character that you’re supposed to pity or despise? Because I felt nothing towards him. Is he supposed to be a rival? Because...no. I had to look up what his name was. The only thing I can clearly remember about him is that he was the final boss of the Doma Castle 4-man dungeon. That’s it. If you removed him from the plot entirely, nothing of value would be lost.

Yotsuyu goe Brutus

Between the two female villains of Stormblood, Yotsuyu is the more popular. It’s easy to see why: she has a cool design and a lot more screen-time and development, with a big 8-man trial to finish things off. But like Fordola, something is just off about her writing.

I don’t understand her motives or how she even came to feel the way she does about Doma, specificially. And anything bad that could happen to her, has happened to her. She suffered an abusive childhood under her adoptive parents, was sold off to an abusive husband, then sold off again to a brothel after her husband died to repay his debts. She later became a spy for the Garleans, rose in rank and was appointed acting viceroy of Doma, to keep the masses terrified and under her heel. At first, it seems pretty reasonable for her to turn against Doma, and lash out as she does on its people - her Doman upbringing left her used, abused and powerless, and with the Garleans she found power and strength. But this reading falls apart when you quickly realize that Doma was already occupied by the Garleans during the course of her upbringing, her family obedient to the Empire and her suffering just as much the fault of the Garleans. There’s an argument to also be made that not enough time was really spent portraying Doma as the disgusting place Yotsuyu sees it, as from the onset of Stormblood’s story journey into the Far East, Domans are only ever portrayed as a terrified, broken people, scared of the Garleans and Yotsuyu. I also don’t personally care for “character was abused, so now they’re sadistic and crazy” clichés either.

What does work well for Yotsuyu is the theme of power and control. Yotsuyu is a woman who lived a life not her own, weak and frail, until she obtained power. Now that she has it, her drive is to do anything to maintain it and survive - yet for some reason the story is written in such a way as to downplay this much stronger theme of her character, and play up this slightly confusing, all-consuming hatred for Doma instead. Her transformation into Tsukiyomi is also a bit odd (though decently thematic, with her ‘cold, uncaring and distant as the moon’ comparison), with not enough time paid to explore her understanding of Doman deities and why the mirror would trigger this change (and why would she even keep Doman deities in her mind, with her supposed hatred of Doma?)

I also take some issue with her “Tsuyu” arc, where she reverts back to the last time she was ever truly good or innocent, and has the personality of a child while still being an adult woman (and suffering amnesia). I find these infantilizing tropes pretty offensive, especially when Yotsuyu’s arc here is largely just to reinforce and reiterate what cartoonishly terrible people her family were, and provide Gosetsu with some development instead. Aside from killing Asahi and having a cathartic death herself, everything about Yotsuyu just baffles me. Every time I think I like something about her, athe bad writing twists it around.

Zenos yae Galvus

I don’t like Zenos, he’s a bad character, and I hate that Square Enix decided this limp-haired sullen-faced clown was going to be their poster-boy villain for Final Fantasy XIV.

What is the appeal of this character? Yeah, some people find him attractive. I don’t, but I also didn’t find Sephiroth attractive so, okay, whatever - like what you like I guess. But what else does Zenos have going on besides people seeming to think he’s their buff bishonen thicc daddy or whatever the kids are saying these days? His entire character can be summed up in one sentence:

“While the Warrior of Light was practicing empathy, Zenos studied The Blade.”

He’s a Garlean lordling with a bland and cold upbringing who likes katanas and blood sport. That’s it. He’s a sociopath, finding no joy or meaning in life for whatever reason: he just wants to collect Cool Swords and push his bizarre love-hate fight narrative on the Warrior of Light. Because they are opposites, you see: the Warrior of Light is a cardboard cut out of a Good Guy and Zenos is a cardboard cut out of a Bad Guy. He’s not even entertaining about it. He doesn’t want to watch the world burn, he just wants to fight the Warrior because the battle will make him Feel Something. Meanwhile, all I feel whenever I see him in-game, either in a cut-scene or when I’m locked in an unskippable “survive the drawn-out battle!” sequence with him, is a groan coming on. And sometimes villains who are evil just for the sake of it can be fun! But Zenos is not fun - he’s dull, he doesn’t get me hyped up for a fight...I feel nothing.

When he died after using his uber-synthetic Echo to possess Shinryu by taking his own life I thought, “well, at least that’s over” and I felt relieved. And then he came back, bigger and worse than ever! Yippee! I love confusing, unrelatable, boring villains who are recurring. Whatever Square Enix wants to do with Zenos, they need to hurry up and get it done. I care so little about him and just want to explore other stories and characters. I’m assuming he’s going to like, possess Zodiark or something, and then the Warrior will possess Hydaelyn, and there will be some big anime light fight showdown where Zodiark and Hydaelyn both shatter for good and Zenos dies and the Warrior lives another day and uuuugggghhh. How the hell did an expansion like Stormblood follow up Heavensward? Who let this happen?

Asahi sas Brutus

Bowl-cut twink hates his sister because he’s a Zenos fanboy and is angry Yotsuyu got all of Zenos’ attention instead of him. Filled with spite and piss, cartoonishly evil just like everyone associated with Yotsuyu or the Empire in Stormblood. Rest in pieces you little shit.

Varis zos Galvus

I’m lukewarm on Varis. He’s a better villain than Zenos, but that’s like saying a flat three-day-old glass of soda is better than sewage water. The bar is set very, very low. He’s ruthless, but not entirely unfair in his thought processes. Hell, he doesn’t even seem to like his own son (and really, if Zenos was my kid, I wouldn’t like him either). But Varis is a bit too...static, in my opinion. He doesn’t feel like a major player, and his batshit “let’s all just burn so the world resets and we can stick it to the Ascians” is pretty asinine and plays so transparently into the Ascian’s hands. I was originally bummed that Zenos killed him pretty unspectacularly, but...like with Lahabrea, it was probably better this way. 

Omega

I don’t have much to say about this villain, really. The heart of the Omegascape storyline hinges on Cid, Nero, Alpha and the abstract concept of free will and accepting imperfection. It’s almost hard to say if Omega really is a villain, simply acting out a series of programs and statistics in a cold, robotic way, not really with malicious intent, so I think where Omega sort of shines is just as a being to build this sort of story off of, and provide a lot of fun boss fights as well. 

Ran’jit

I had no strong opinions on Ran’jit for a long time, so I guess he improved for me as I now have An Opinion of him. He’s fine. He’s an okay villain. His Zenos-esque “survive the timer” encounters are annoying, but I find his persistence and presence more inspiring than any time crummy ol’ Zenos showed up. The biggest issue with Ran’jit is the lack of time devoted to developing him. This is a man who lost his home in the Flood of Light (which was the First’s equivalent to the Source’s Far East), and has essentially trained and raised numerous Minfillia reincarnations to battle Sin Eaters, just to watch these poor girls he saw as his own daughters die and die and die again. That cycle of loss would break down anyone, and make Vauthry’s postulations of paradise in Eulmore until the end finally comes appealing. Ran’jit pursues the Scions and Minfillia/Ryne not because he’s resolute in following orders, but because he just wants to bring this one psuedo-daughter back and keep her safe - something he could never do for the others who came and went in his tenure.

Naturally, this protectiveness leads to giving in to Vauthry’s nihilistic promises and stifles Minfillia/Ryne as a person. Thancred eventually learns to let the Minfillia he knew go so that Ryne could floruish into her own person - she was not ‘his’ Minfillia and it was terrible of him to ever impose that upon her. But where Thancred can move on and let Ryne develop into the wonderful person she is, Ran’jit cannot. And I’m disappointed this aspect of his character couldn’t be more at the forefront of his narrative.

Vauthry

If you ask me, this is more in line with how I figured Zenos might be. Vauthry lived a life or privilege and power, a child born of divine providence with no true regard for life, just his own desires. He’s spoiled and unreasonable, but his nihilism isn’t really nonsensical in the world of the First. All but a fraction of the world is destroyed, and Sin Eaters are a constant, devastating threat, so why not just relax in luxury, in the safety of Vauthry’s control over the monsters, and live in peace until the world truly ends? The battle against the Sin Eaters is exhausting and has no hope of victory anyway (until the Warrior of Light/Darkness arrives, that is). Even without the meol subplot, it makes sense why so many would flock to Eulmore once Vauthry takes over. Goofy as he can be, I do think Vauthry’s embodiment of just giving in to nihilism, hedonism and annihilation stands as a good thematic contrast to Shadowbringers strong themes of stubbornly striving for hope in even the darkest, bleakest hour. His trial is also fun and a slight swerve. All the Light Wardens up to that point had been monstrous, and Sin Eater transformations the thing of nightmares (Tesleen), so to see Vauthry take on the form of Innocence (ironically appropriate, as he truly believes he is blameless in all he has done) and become a golden-haired, angelic being of beauty - how he likely has always seen himself - is very entertaining, and defeating him feels great.

Emet-Selch / Solus zos Galvus / Hades

Ah yes. The Big One. Most people like Emet-Selch and his involvement in Shadowbringers. He’s sardonic, he’s entertaining, he’s honest, he’s explored, and he’s even sympathetic. The revelation of how Zodiark (and Hydaelyn) came to be, Amaurot and The Final Days is truly tragic. Emet and the rest of the Convocation were trying to save their world, and the cost was staggering - the lives of so many of their own, their minds, and eventually even their own world in the Amaurotine schism that followed. Being able to see a shadow of what Amaurot and its people were like really helps drive home the sorrow of it all, and Emet himself admits that he did try to learn to appreciate what the fragmented world had become. He’s also one of the most “successful” villains in Final Fantasy XIV - his intertwined association with death and masterful ability to raise up and lead empires like the ancient Allagans and modern Garleans to their self-destructing, Calamity-inducing downfalls (of which he was almost successful did with Varis and the Black Rose in the latter’s case) is pretty impressive as far as villainous plans and activity is concerned. Being forced to work alongside him in Shadowbringers because your goals are aligned while attempting to guard yourself from his inevitable schemes - which he’s pretty blunt about admitting he has - is an interesting way to develop him as a villain too. He spends most of Shadowbringers actually helping you rather than outright antagonizing you.

His conundrum is sympathetic as well, if not entirely relatable. If you had the ability to bring back your world, your friends and loved ones, at the cost of countless lives that are trivial in the grand scheme of the cosmos and start again, anew, in a better world that could repair and rebuild, would you do it? Tempered by Zodiark or not, Emet would, and while I don’t agree with him, I don’t entirely blame him either, for feeling how he does. Similar to Ran’jit and Vauthry too, Emet is nihilistic: he clings to something long-gone and will burn the current world down to get it back. To him, the Rejoining and Zodiark’s return is inevitable, and people like the Warrior of Light/Darkness are futile, frustating obstacles that cannot understand not only his plans, but just how he feels. They don’t remember what they lost. Emet does.

And yet in his final moments, Emet seems at peace. He seems to realize, as he is fading into oblivion, that the Warrior of Light/Darkness isn’t just the reincarnation of Azem, but what Azem believed in that made Azem part from the Convocation. Fractured life is still life, and Azem believed that the world and its beings was worth learning about, loving and protecting, capable of great things even when faced with insurmountable odds. The last act of good will Emet can do after requesting that the Warrior not forget about Amaurot, is to free the Warrior from Elidibus’ binds so that the last unsundered Ascian can be put to rest at last. It’s a very emotional throughline for Emet’s character, rather than a more logical one, but it works very, very well and really helps push Shadowbringers into that amazing high its story can get to.

Elidibus

I never liked Elidibus all that much for the longest time. It’s not that his character was “bad’, per se - he’s polite, diplomatic, and enigmatic, providing a much more leveled, intriguing villain to counter-act Lahabrea’s more active plays and cackling. But Elidibus’ long game always left me sort of wanting: I was never really sure what he was trying to accomplish expansion to expansion and how it related to the Rejoining that would bring about Zodiark. His plans also seemed to just regularly...fall through. Sending the Warriors of Darkness to antagonize the Warrior of Light in the Source ended up bringing about the halt of the Flood of Light on the First entirely. Picking up Zenos’ body and squashing Garlemald uprisings while nudging Varis to make and use the Black Rose was promptly halted by the true Zenos making an unspectacular return. I don’t know, I just feel like any plan Elidibus sets into motion gets stopped before it really gets started.

My opinion of him did change, however, during the course of the Shadowbringers expansion. Being the heart of Zodiark, manifesting as the First’s...uhh, first, Warrior of Light, summoning them from across the other shards to wreak havoc and empower himself, only to finally be put out of his misery not just be the true Warrior of Light/Darkness, but Emet-Selch’s last act of will and revealing that he had been an over-working, sad youth who just wanted to save the world he knew was...well, sad. And his first (and last) real gameplay with the various hero summonings was a pretty amazing set piece too, though it also tells me how devastating Elidibus could have been earlier on if he’d taken a more pro-active approach, access to the Crystal Tower notwithstanding.

Valens van Varro

Much like how I wanted to punch Ilberd, because Ilberd is a deplorable person but an effective villain with decent motivations, Valens is just...I just want to punch him, in general. He’s just Disgusting On Purpose. And since we still haven’t shaken Stormblood’s insistence that Garleans are Evil So Evil Oh My God Evil You Guys they’re trotted out a demented borderline sex-offender who forces his child wards to brand subjects who are out of line with red-hot irons. Valens is...entertaining, I guess, in that regard. And Valens does serve as an appropriate counter-part to Gaius in this storyline, the themes of which seem to largely deal with fatherhood and penance for past misdeeds. I just...really miss Garlean villains with nuance.

Fandaniel

Oh god damnit Asahi is back. Square Enix stop doing this, stop bringing back bad characters. Though it is unfair to say Fandaniel is anything like Asahi. Oh sure, he’s using Asahi’s body (and therefore the Brutus’ family inheritance to fund his machinations), he fawns over Zenos, and he’s cartoonishly evil, but at least this go around there’s a certain...goofy charm to it. Fandaniel is a sundered Ascian - he doesn’t care about the Rejoining or Zodiark, he’s aware that he’s a broken being and he is, quite frankly, loving it. He lays his intent out pretty plainly to the Warrior of Light/Darkness: he’s evil, he loves destruction, and he’s doing it because that’s just what he feels like doing. Don’t reason with him, don’t try to understand him, just fight back and cry about it. On some basic level I appreciate that brutal honesty, so much so that I’m comfortable writing my thoughts about him now because I don’t think they’re going to change. What you see is what you get with Fandaniel, and he’s just having such a good time. He’s a terribly-written villain but gosh darnit I just can’t bring myself to hate him.

[slygirl666]

Call me your love

The beginning

Fred Weasley x Lestrange!reader 

historical au: 1800′s 

warnings: none for this chapter, will eventually be an 18+ story. probably not historically accurate, I kinda don't care 

will most likely be on Wattpad too (might change the name please help me with it)

An eight year old Y/N Lestrange walked with her mother to their carriage. It was a rare time she was allowed out of the manor. They had stopped in a dress shop because Lady Lestrange needed to get Y/N a dress that was appropriate for a funeral.

The Funeral of the Mr. and Mrs. Potter, a well respected wealthy family. Though Y/N didn’t know them she did know that they were dear to cousin Sirius’ heart. So dear that their nine year old boy was left in his care.

Sirius had invited his own family seeing how the potters didn’t have any living.

Y/N sat as still as possible while an older lady took measurements of her and her mother looked at materials.

When Y/N had gotten back into her proper clothes she sat patiently waiting for her mother to finish. She played with the pendant that fell over her dress.

When her mother was finished she walked out to the busy streets of london she felt a hand on her wrist as she was pulled away from her mother.

She was pulled behind a shop where she was met with the dirty face of a young boy slightly older than her whose smile spelled trouble.

“Do you have money, miss?” the boy whispered almost ashamed. His eyes not meeting hers. She took a moment to take in his appearance. His trousers had holes in them, he was barefoot on the dirt street, his bright orange hair had dusty areas in it.

“No I don't,” Y/N almost felt bad for him. She looked for something to give him before reaching for her necklace. “Why do you need the money, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“My family has none, miss, see I have six siblings,” his hazel eyes finally met your tears in them with a hint of shame. “We might starve if my brothers and I don’t find away to get money for them.”

So Y/N Lestrange made the decision to unclasp the necklace and put it in his hand, “sell it, it can get you a few galleons.”

“I’ll never forget this, miss I’ll owe you for the rest of my life.

Y/N finally hears the distant yell of her mother, “i have to go.”

She walked off and the little redhead boy knew he would never see her again.

***ten years later***

An eighteen year old Y/N sat in a carriage with her cousin Sirius Black and the boy Harry Potter as the view of the Lestrange manor became smaller with each turn of the wheel.  

Bellatrix and Rodolphus Lestrange had died of an illness that went undetected until it was too late.

Y/N sat silently in the seat of the carriage, her parents weren’t the most loving. She was mostly raised by a nanny, rather than being educated she was encouraged to do more ladylike activities like needle point and music. But they were her parents, her  blood.

Her aunt Andromeda had married poor and was disowned so she could not live with her, her aunt Narcissa’s husband was much too busy a man for another child to be around.

Her cousin Sirius said he had more than enough room for her to stay, with a cousin she didn’t know hours away from her childhood.

Sirius had fallen asleep an hour into the ride, Harry Potter finally spoke. “Miss Lestrange, I know it isn’t much but I do understand. Living with Sirius is an interesting time yes but I do hope we can be friends.”

“That would be nice and given the circumstances of our situation why don’t you call me Y/N” she tried her best to smile.

“Only if you agree to calling me Harry.” he smiled.

The two sat for the other hour of the trip with polite conversation between the two of them.

When the carriage came to a halt the redhead man came down to open the doors, Sirius laughed. “We aren’t normally so formal but we are trying to make a good impression here.”

Sirius waved his hand in the direction of the tall stocky man with his red hair tied lowly behind him. “This is Charlie Weasley, he is our driver, when he is not doing that he can be found in the farm.”

“Goodday, miss Lestrange it is exciting to meet you,” he helped her out by hand.

“That is very kind of you to say.” she smiled as she walked off with her cousin.

Sirius opened the door to Grimwald manner and yelled out, “Ginniveria!”

A thin girl in a simple dress that went to her calf walked in. she looked to be around your age which excited you. “yes Sirius, and you know it's Ginny.”

Y/N was startled at the lack of formality, but eased as Sirius laughed and apologized. “This is Ginny Weasley, she does a lot of the house keeping, she will be showing you around.”

Sirius dismissed himself as Harry said he must be off to study, nodding shyly to Ginny.

“Well miss Lestrange, I can show you around, your room is prepared, but the boys will be bringing your stuff up so we can see the grounds.”

Y/N followed the excited girl as she spewed facts about what was in the house and her family. She learned that all the weasleys but two worked in the house, her mother was the cook, her father repaired around the house with the youngest of her  brothers, two of them worked the stables and Charlie took care of the farm animals.

To Y/N it seemed like a lot of people doing so many things.

When they reached the stables Ginny called out for her brothers, “Fredrick, George!”

That's when all of a sudden a young man with bright red hair appeared behind them spooking his sister and Y/N in the process. Ginny hit him with her arm, “fredric you absolute pr-”

“No no sister,” he tisked at her, “we have to make a good first impression don't we?”

He gave her a wink she scoffed, “cause you're doing so well aren't you?”

“Feisty, ain't she?” she took her hand bringing it to his lips eyes locking with hers. “Frederick weasley Miss Lestrange, Happy to meet you.”

“Well Frederick. I do enjoy horses and think you will be seeing me quite a bit.”

“I'll look forward to it,” something in his hazel eyes was awfully familiar though she couldn’t quitte place why.  Ginny grabbed her wrist pulling her back to the house.

Ginny led Y/N to her room, multiple trunks containing her entire life were there. “Could you help me unpack?”

“Yes miss,” she smiled, opening one of them expertly making her way around the room. “You know other than my mother who hardly counts, I’m never around other girls. I do hope we can be friends.”

The thought of making friends with a girl who worked for her would have scandalized Y/N’s mother. But she had never had any friends her own age other than her cousin, “I think I’d like that, call me Y/N please.”

Ginny smiled and continued helping her unpack, Y/N looked around the room, some one had put flowers on the dresser that she recognized from the field outside. Y/N smiled knowing Ginny placed them there.

“I should go help Mum set up for supper, I’ll come get you beforehand.” Ginny walked out closing the door, it was funny she had only just arrived today and they treated her so warmly.

Y/N moved to the chest that she knew carried her more casual dresses moving to take off her heavily layered dress.

That in itself took a good amount of time, after redressing she moved to the vanity beginning to take out the intricate pins and overly done curls, running a brush through them. Struggling to put it up.

With a knock at the door Ginny entered the room. “Do you want some help?”

Y/N nodded letting Ginny take the brush before putting delicate braids on either side of her hair tying it back with a grey ribbon.

They walked together to the dining room. Y/N was surprised to see the large family of redheads also sitting at the large dining table. She knew her parents would hate it, she smiled to herself. Her cousin was so kind to the people who work for them she almost wondered why.

But she sat happily joining them for supper.

* * *

Waking up in a room that wasn’t her own was a strange feeling, Ginny opened the room's curtains before getting a simple shirt and long skirt for her to wear.

“You’ll be joining Harry in his studies today,” she made the bed as Y/N got out of it. “Your afternoon is free.”

“But i-”

“Hurry now, breakfast will be finished in a minute.” Ginny helped her get into her skirts, getting as Y/N buttoned up her shirt to the neck. Putting her hair back into a subtle half up style.

The two girls went down the stairs chatting. Like the night before the Weasley family was at the breakfast table.

Harry and the youngest Weasley boy were having a conversation, the twins, Frederick and George, recalled laughing at the expense of Charlie Who seemed annoyed. While Molly, Sirius and Aurther had a quiet conversation. Ginny sat next to one of the twins leaving an open space on the edge of the table. Y/N sat eating her breakfast quietly just observing the odd way everyone interacted.

“Miss Lestrange, how did you settle in on your first night?” one of the twins turned his attention to her. Taking a sip of her tea noticing the sudden silence.

“My first night was well,” she smiled at him sweatley. “You all have been very inviting, I’m grateful for that.”

“And your room?” Sirius smiled at her.

“It’s lovely, Ginny has lovely taste.” she laughed, winking at the redhead girl.

There was a knock at the door. Ginny excused herself to answer the door.  Behind ginny a tall man with dusty hair and a scared face walked in.

The adults greeted him with a warm ‘remus’ but the weasley kids and Harry called out ‘mr.Lupin.’

He smiled at everyone greeting them by name, “you must be miss Lestrange, i'm the tutor you will be working with.”

You hesitated before thinking better of telling everyone one about your education status.

When the Weasleys began to excuse themselves you spoke up, “cousin, may I have a word?”

“Of course Y/N what seems to be the problem,” sirius looked concerned as he set his tea down.

“Well, you see my mother was a bit old fashioned when it came to where a woman should stand in society,” you started as Sirius nodded. “They did not let my nanny educate me past basic reading, enough to write a simple letter even. I’m just afraid that I won’t be able to keep up with Harry.”

“Yes, I can see where that is a genuine concern,” he smiled warmly. “If you would like I could look to find you a different tutor willing to work at your speed. I would use Remus but Harry's studies take a lot of his time and he has other students.”

“That would be wonderful, cousin sirius,” you smiled sweetly to him.

“Y/N, given the fact we are family you could call me just Sirius.” you felt a wave of relief wash through you.

That's when Ginny ran back into the dining room, “Mum needs me to pick up more fruits from the store. May Charlie and I go?”

“Of course Ginny, Y/N why don’t you go see the town with Ginny,” you looked taken aback. To go into town unsupervised. “Charlie will be with the two of you.”

“We can go to mrs.Kranes,” Ginny turned her attention to Sirius. “Y/N doesn't really have any simple dresses.”

“That's great Ginny,” You watched as Sirius pulled out a key and unlocked a box. He pulled out a coin pouch handing it to you. “Enough for two dresses for you, and one for Ginny if she would like something.”

Ginny grabbed your hand pulling you outside to the farm, “Charles!”

The closer we got to the more we could hear the Squeal and heavy breathing of a pig, “what’s wrong Gin?”

“We have to go get things for mum from the town.” her voice flattered seeing charlie hold a small piglet. “Ask Fred, He shouldn’t be too busy and he knows how the carriage works.”

“All right charlie, tell us when the litter is born.” Ginny turned to the door leading you to the stables.

“Freddie!” you took note that Ginny really liked yelling when she called for her brothers. “Charlie said you were the driver while May was having her baby’s.”

Both twins walked out of stalls across from each other. “Okay, where are we going?”

“Nice try George,” Ginny smiled to the one on the right. “Fred get ready we'll be ready in an hour.”

Ginny once again pulled you back to the manor.

[thelordofdarkreunion]

Family Buisness

So, I haven’t gotten a story out in a while.  Sorry about that.  Things have been rather busy.  However, I believe you will quite like this one.  Scoundrel shenanigans galore and we get to meet Vir and Shepard’s families.  If you have any ideas or want to see anything in this particular story line, I am open to requests and suggestions!  I think this is going to be quite fun.  As always, I own no one except Drake.  Enjoy the story!

“So, uh, let me get this straight.  There are nine of you, and only three have anything resembling a normal family.  Of the others, one was kidnapped to be a child super soldier, one watched his family get murdered by an intergalactic mega-corporation, one had a god for a father who murdered his mother, one was raised by asshole trillionaires and left at the first opportunity, and two never knew their parents.”

“Yes.”

“Great.  I’m sure all of you are completely stable.”

The massive, silent form of the Master Chief stood, perplexed, at the going-ons of his compatriots.  You could not tell the thoughts flitting behind his immovable golden mask, though; he stood, still as a statue, as cold and unreadable as always.  In front of him, the various members of the Magnificent Scoundrels smoothed their hair, tightened coats and collars, and made absolute certain their shoes were shined to perfection.  

They were aboard the Enterprise, the sterile grey of the walls echoing with the faintest rustling of cloth.  It had been decided that, while the entire fleet was present, the Scoundrels themselves were to transfer to the Enterprise to prepare, then teleport to the surface of the planet below.  The Chief still didn’t understand why, precisely, they were dressing up so much.  It was only a party.  He had graduated Spartan training in his Mjolnir armor, attended officer’s banquets in his Mjolnir armor, and received the UNSC Medal of Honor from Lord Hood in his Mjolnir armor.  It didn’t come off then, and he didn’t see why it should now.  Though, begrudgingly, he did admit to himself that he was not precisely familiar with social niceties and customs of regular humans. 

   The others had all dressed in the next to best; their exceptionally over-elaborate dress uniforms or suits had no place here.  Vir and Cooper straightened their ties, and brushed invisible dust off sport coat lapels.  Solo and Quill struggled in nicer versions of their usual vestments, tugging uncomfortably at too-tight collars and boots.  Shepard pulled on his galaxy’s version of a tuxedo, and adjusted the high collar and coat line.  Kirk was wearing some sleek diplomatic uniform, still quite similar to that of the Starfleet’s, but more elegant and suited to parties.  Cain had originally planned to wear his usual Commissar’s coat and cap, thinking it perfectly fine for this situation, but the other Scoundrels had insisted, then begged, that he wear his full dress uniform, complete with far too much gold lace, epaulets, and a medal rack.  He straightened an errant piece of lace and carefully brushed his hat.  Drake was in his usual black coat, gloves and boots, perfectly dressed for any situation.  That was, after all, the entire point of the outfit.  

They had all been invited by Shepard and Vir to a family party of sorts.  Those two were the only ones with any sort of close family of worth.  It had been decided by higher powers (both of their mothers) that the two families should meet, and their sons’ new coworkers had been invited.  A horrible idea, in Drake’s professional opinion.  He looked over to Solo and Quill still itching in their formal clothes, Cain in his Imperial Commissar’s uniform, and the blank stare of Master Chief.  Yeah, this was going to go great.  Not to mention, of course, the fact that so many exceptionally powerful and influential individuals along with their families meeting in one spot was a magnet for assassinations or terrorist attacks.  If he was contracted to kill them all, it’s what he would do.  Cain finished straightening one last errant piece of lace and grinned over at his fellows.

“Well then.  Are we ready to go?” he asked.  The party was to take place on the moon below, a halfway point between multiple different galaxies.  The SSV Orizaba, an utterly massive dreadnought and pride of the System’s Alliance Navy, was currently orbiting the planet near to the Scoundrels’ fleet.  Captained by Hannah Shepard, she had obviously pulled some strings to get it stationed in the far reaches of space, and to have shore leave on this planet, at this precise time.  A civilian starliner carrying the Virs had also shown up, and according to spies on the ground, it was the entirety of the esteemed Admiral Adam Vir’s close family.  Including multiple small children.  There was no way this could go poorly.

“I think so,” replied Vir.

“Great.  Everyone ready?” asked Drake.  As he spoke, a lethally honed blade shot out of the space in his coat above his forearm.  He examined it with a critical eye before retracting it.  It fitted perfectly back in place, concealed from sight.  Shepard rolled his eyes.  

“Do you really need that?” he asked.

“Yes,” replied Drake matter-of-factly.

“There are going to be children present,” shot Vir, slightly annoyed.

“I know,” said Drake, utterly nonplussed.  “And there are going to be knives present as well.  I’d be more worried about the kids getting their hands on those instead of me having one hidden on my forearm.”  Vir and Shepard shared a look.  They had convinced Cain to leave his ceremonial weapons behind, but Master Chief still had his sidearm, and Vir was fairly certain Cooper had a pistol hidden somewhere on his person.  

“Fine,” replied Shepard.  “But remember, no jokes.”

“With you wearing that suit, I don’t need to tell jokes,” shot Cooper, walking over to the group.  

“I thought you said we weren’t supposed to kill anyone either,” replied Kirk with a laugh.

“Yeah, but, really,” said Vir, brushing it off.  “Captain Shepard is a Naval staff officer, and my family are all civilians, so they might be kinda off-put about you guys’ particular brand of humor.  No gay jokes, Pearl Harbor jokes, First Contact War jokes, first contact in general jokes, any political jokes, Vietnam War jokes, medical jokes, Drev War jokes, alien jokes, starship drive failure jokes, or any sort of horribly dark humor whatsoever.”

“Aww, there goes my entire repertoire,” fake-whined Drake, grinning.  Shepard muttered something to himself, then, noticing the entire party was ready, nodded at Kirk, who led them through the halls of the Enterprise to the transporters.  Several of the starship’s crew watched as they went, complimenting their dress, snickering, wishing them good luck, or making inappropriate comments.  They reached the transporter, large circular chamber covered with the smooth white and grey plastic-like material of the ship.  

“Say the words, please,” grinned Quill.

“Beam us up, Scotty!” fired back Kirk with enthusiasm.  They disappeared with a high pitched whine and a flash.  

On the Surface

Captain Hannah Shepard waited in the massive hotel ballroom her son and his strange colleagues had commissioned for this occasion.�� Her crew had been delighted with the shore leave to a planet so far removed, yet still with cities and a fair sized population.  Earlier that evening, she had arrived by shuttle to the hotel.  The commander of marines from the Orizaba had wished her good luck, still nervous she had declined their protection.  She scoffed at that.  She was in a civilian hotel in the far reaches of space, with the dreadnought’s full contingent easily within radio range.  Besides, her son was going to be here, and he was an N7 graduate and a Spectre, no less.  From what she’d heard, his new colleagues weren’t slouches, either.  

She was quite annoyed at her son, though.  He had been a hero, saved the Citadel from the Reapers (the Council may have denied they existed, but she knew better), only for his ship to be destroyed.  They said he died.  She went to his funeral.  Saw the empty coffin next to his dress uniform.  She cried, for her only son was dead. 

Then, two years later, reports came that he was alive.  Whispers that the first human Spectre was alive reached her ears.  He was present on the Citadel for the first meeting between the new galaxies.  He hadn’t said anything, and only recently sent her a message.  She smiled grimly to herself.  A mother’s fury was not something to be taken lightly.  Commander John Shepard was in trouble.

But that would have to wait.  For right now, more than anything else, she just wanted to see him again.  

The reserved ballroom was massive, with long tables set in the middle for such a large party.  A huge window, with elegant cross pieces in black metal, stretched overlooking the interior garden area of the hotel.  Quite a nice view.  The Vir family was here as well, having arrived by civilian shuttle.  She found it bizarre that no one else had arrived; after all, from what she had heard, there were nine of these people, were there not?  That was after she received the most peculiar message.

Captain Hannah Shepard

In regards to your obvious questions about the families of your son’s other co-workers, most of them don’t have any.  It’s just best that way.

Regards,

Miranda Lawson, Executive Officer, Normandy

Indeed.  Ms. Lawson is quite correct.  It’s best you don’t ask, in fact.

Sincerely, 

Captain Thomas Drake, Apocalypse

Drake, 

Stop intercepting our communications.

Lawson,

Why?  I know you’re doing the same thing with mine.

The Virs were quite nice, in fact.  At the moment, groups of Admiral Vir’s nieces and nephews were running about the room, absolutely delighted with the open spaces and elegant architecture.  She had spoken to the Admiral’s mother, and… well, they had much in common due to the nature of their son’s activities.  Speaking of which…

The wooden double doors of the ballroom’s main entrance swung open, to reveal one of the strangest groups of individuals she’d ever seen.  Vir’s brothers all turned and stared, some doing a better job at hiding it than others.  

Captain Shepard immediately recognized Vir, his face quite similar to that of his siblings.  An eyepatch covered one side of his head, something she hadn’t quite known about.  Of course, she recognized her son, who gave her a lopsided grin immediately upon sighting her.  The others, though… well.

There were four normal looking men, all dressed in suits or elegant combinations of coats and vests.  She did not know any of their names.  Two of them had the look of starship captains.  She’d recognize that anywhere.  One, a shorter black-haired man wore the look of a combat veteran.  Definitely some sort of marine.  Possibly special forces.  The last, a brown-haired man with heavy boots, wore a greatcoat, and took in everything with a slightly amazed look.  Don’t know what he is.  

The last three, though…  One, towering over most of his fellows, wore a massive black greatcoat and officer’s cap, extremely over-embroidered in gold lace.  Red gloves covered his hands, and a full chest of medals on his chest shone with carefully polished beauty.  She almost laughed at the epaulettes.  Almost.  It was then she noticed the symbol on his cap.  A double-headed golden eagle, wings outstretched.  Already, that symbol had become infamous throughout her galaxy.  The golden Aquilia of the Imperium of Man.  So this is an Imperial, and a high ranking one at that, it seems.  Interesting.  

The second was dressed in a knee length black coat, and wore elegant black boots and gloves.  Captain Shepard nevertheless noted that the boots were heavily armored and very possibly well-suited for combat.  This man looked at the room through clear blue eyes, calculating every individual within.  He tried to hide it, but she saw the subtle glint of something behind those icy blue orbs.  She’d been around long enough to know: this one is dangerous.  Maybe a merc of some sort.

The last put everyone else to shame in terms of sheer lethalness.  He was utterly massive, towering at least a full head over every other person in the room.  Apparently disdaining to wear anything formal for this occasion, he was dressed in a full suit of green combat armor.  A huge handgun rested at his side, and his head was covered by a helmet.  Captain Shepard felt eyes judging her from behind a visor of glinting gold.  He made no moves, simply standing, almost unmoving, at the back of the group, yet Captain Shepard somehow knew that he was by far the most lethal of them.  

“Hi, Mom,” said Commander Shepard, snapping her out of her thoughts.  He was everything she remembered.  Her son.  In the flesh.  With a swift motion, she stepped forward and enveloped him in a hug.  He returned it awkwardly at first, then hugged her back with fierce intensity.  IN the corner of her eye, Captain Shepard could see Vir’s parents doing the same.  Their colleagues looked on with amusement, or untraceable looks.  

“I’ll talk to you later,” she hissed in Commander Shepard’s ear.  The two mothers stepped forward as Vir’s siblings and their families watched.  The black coated man smiled softly.

“There’s no need to be ashamed,” he started without preamble.  “That’s how you know they love you,” he said to Admiral Vir and Commander Shepard.   He gave a low bow.  “I am Captain Thomas Drake, and I can say with absolute certainty we are all most pleased to meet all of you.”

And there we have it!  Like I said before, if you have any ideas or suggestions for this story line, I’d love to here them!  

[ofhoneyandrosepetals]

Aarhus Universitet - Ansuz Raido Ravens (6) - final chapter

Pairing: Modern!Ivar x reader

Description: Y/N is a freshman in Aarhus University and, being the roommate of both Torvi and Margrethe, that gives her some privileges and intel on the university, as it on the leading fraternity as well, Ansuz Raido Ravens, the Ragnarssons’ fraternity. Eventually, she gets engaged up with Ivar, who happened to gather a suspicious reputation among girls.

Warnings: swearings, smut content.

Word count: 2,120

A/N: and it’s finally here, after so many years! I’m so sorry I didn’t finish this fic any sooner, even though I always wanted to. I could never rest if I never posted this final chapter. I hope you guys like it!

When you woke up the bed was empty, Ivar’s side not warm enough. You heard the noise of the shower running. He’d probably be finishing up by now. You roll on your back, feeling the most tired you ever felt, ignoring with all your strength the events of last night.

You heard the bathroom door click and looked to see Ivar wearing a zipped open hoodie, his tanned chest on sight. You bit your lips. “What a great view to wake up to.”

“I thought the great view would be something, you know, a little more downwards,” he said, a playful look on his eyes.

“Actually, that would be a great activity to wake up to.”

Ivar’s eyes immediately went to pure lust, but you raised your palms in protest. “I need to go shower first, loverboy. Last night’s party is killing me.”

“I won’t go anywhere.”

Ivar sits on a chair by the window, observing you.

“Be right back,” you state as you enter the bathroom, closing the door behind you.

*

Fifteen minutes later and you felt refreshed, ready to start off your day. As soon as Ivar got sight of you, he jerked up from the chair, a lustful look on his face. His canines shone at the sunlight, making your guts heavy.

“C’mere, woman. I’m hungry for some delicious breakfast.”

Ivar shortened the distance between you two, making you step back until your back hit the wall. He held your chin between his fingers and kissed you, rough as always. You lose no time in opening your mouth to welcome him - there was no need to hold anything back, since you wanted him as much he wanted you. His lips were not soft as they usually were - his bruises and cuts were still fresh. You thought about being careful so his cuts wouldn’t open, but who were you joking?, you didn’t want him to slow down.

His tongue dominated yours, which you were glad for - you had no strength to be the dominating one today.

Ivar’s hands traveled all around your body as he kissed and bit your lips. Your hands were firmly tugging his loose, wet hair. “Grip it harder,” you heard him mumbling between kisses. You tugged his hair harder.

Ivar made no ceremonies as he slid his right hand inside your panties, feeling you already wet. “Oh babygirl, that’s how I like you, all wet for me.” His words sent shivers through your body. He started working his fingers on your clit, slowly going up and down, feeling you panting against his mouth. It felt so good that you threw your head back, hitting the wall behind you. You sighed in pleasure when Ivar paced faster, you getting more and more wet.

You had no care for Ivar kisses and suckings on your neck - all you cared and could think about was his hands down on you. “You like that?” He asked. You only nodded in response, moaning. “What do you think of my mouth going there?” You couldn’t say anything at the thought of him eating you out so, once again, you moaned in response.

Ivar sat on his knees in no time, quickly taking your panties off. You stepped your legs aside, opening yourself for Ivar, back tight against the wall.

“Look at you,” he said hoarsely. “It’s a fucking feast down here.”

Ivar held your thighs tightly, kissing their inner sides. You were eager for his mouth in your pussy, but you wanted to play cool. He kissed and licked the insides of your thighs until you grunted in annoyance, anticipation taking over you.

“Someone’s impatient,” he teased you.

You got chunks of his hair with both your hands, pulling it.

“Just fucking do it, Ragnarsson.”

“Do what?”

You weren’t looking at him, but you could hear his sassy smile.

“Eat me out.”

“With pleasure,” he said and went down on you.

Ivar licked your wetness, the feeling of his tongue making your whole body relax. He worked you out, licking and sucking, his tongue inside you, then to your labia and for last to your clit, switching between these patterns. His pace wasn’t steady - he was slow, then fast, and then slow again. The noises his mouth made as he ate you was enough to make you moan, imagine alone what he was doing.

He caressed with the tip of his nose your clit as his tongue went in and out of you. You sighed heavily.

“Faster,” you tried to manage.

Ivar slid two fingers inside your pussy, curling them.

“Fucking thrust me, Ivar.”

So he did it. Ivar thrusted you hard with his fingers, licking and sucking your pussy at the same time. You were so on edge that you felt your legs trembling, having no more strength to keep on your feet anymore, and the wall wasn’t doing any good on keeping you up. Ivar felt your loose body and gripped hard at your waist with his left hand, keeping you up.

“You’re gonna cum on your feet,” he said. “But damn, am I not a weak man? I wanna fuck you so hard right now with my own cock.”

You came at his words, throwing your head back at the wall, making a hard thump. You pulled his hair hard and moaned loudly, screaming.

“Fuck me, Ivar,” you said without a breath. “Fuck me and I’ll cum again, all around your cock.”

Ivar lost no time in getting up, kicking his shorts and boxers away and wrapping your legs around him, pinning you up against the wall. He held you there while putting on a condom and quickly, roughly, he slid inside you. “No mercy,” you told him, and he had none.

He thrusted you fast and hard, going almost all out to go back all in. He already knew your G spot, so he went directly there, making you see stars at his strength inside you and at the feeling of pleasure. You had no idea Ivar could hold such a pace. You tugged your fingernails on his back, feeling the skin opening. That made Ivar grunt and kiss you, biting your lower lip. You felt the taste of blood, but it was only his cut on his lips opening.

You wanted to dirty talk, but you couldn’t find any words, only scream in pleasure.

“Yes, Y/N, show everyone how I make you feel.”

His steady fast pace was doing its job, and you could feel once again your walls clenching - a couple more thrusts and you felt your whole body trembling, relaxing, pleasure running through your veins as you screamed. Ivar thrusted a little more until he, too, came, moaning.

His blue eyes were pure fire and you couldn’t look away from them as Ivar slowly thrusted you after you two came, your walls screaming in sensibility.

“That was fucking awesome,” you sounded like you had ran a marathon.

“I’ll need to shower again, look what you did to me,” Ivar was wet with sweat.

“Let’s go then, I’ll clean you up.”

*

You hadn’t class today, so you and Ivar were sitting outside, by the shadows of a tree, you comfortably nested between his legs, your back and head resting on his chest as you took notice of the movement on campus.

“I’ve been wanting to ask you,” you start saying.

“What is it?” Ivar sounded like he was at peace.

“About your fraternity names. They usually use Greek letters, but what do you guys use?”

“Runes from the Elder Futhark, Ansuz and Raido. Raido means journey while Ansuz can be the rune related to Odin. My father always told me and my brothers that we descend from Odin, that’s why this choice of runes.”

“But ‘Ravens’ is not a rune.”

“No, it isn’t, but is the animal associated with Odin.”

“So your fraternity is all related to Odin, in the end.”

“One can say so.”

“Well, this is cool, but it’s even cooler to just rest on your chest and take a nap,” you said, nestling more on Ivar, closing your eyes as the sunlight warmed you.

*

Weeks have already passed - Torvi moved out of yours and Margrethe’s room, moving in with Ubbe, but she always avoided yours and Ivar’s path, staying out of the way. Ivar kept working on his bike, saying that he sensed that soon enough he’d take you for a ride. Margrethe wasn’t on talking terms with you, but she was always polite, apt to keep a chill environment. She had her space and you respected that, even though you missed her.

Until one day you finally made the choice you’ve been thinking about for so long.

Margrethe was at her desk taking care of her studies when you started talking, without giving a warning.

“I’m not going to tell you my whole story, since I don’t want to be a bother more than I already am right now,” you saw Margrethe getting so rigid that she could easily be a statue. “I was in deep shit a couple months ago, and my parents arranged me into college, as part of an agreement between us. I go clean and they help me, as long as I majored in something, anything. They got me three universities and I was able to choose this one.

“I know how much you suffered here and how much is difficult for you to be around, you know, them. Me, even. But I always saw you as and considered you my friend, Margrethe. I deeply, truly care about you, and I never wanted to harm you in any way.

“That’s why I spoke with my parents and called in a favor.”

“What favor?” Margrethe asked, her voice shooked.

“You can transfer all the way up to Aalborg University. If you want to, of course. I feel like I owe you this, at least.”

Margrethe stood in silence for what felt like minutes, but it was only a couple seconds.

“Why?” She finally asked.

“I just said, I feel like I owe you this. In my name and in the name of the Ragnarssons. It would really make me happy if you accept this.”

“A fresh start?”

“A fresh start. It’s always possible, and everyone deserves one. I’m the solid example of that.”

“Do you really mean it?” Margrethe turned over to look at you, her eyes watering, tears coming down through her rosy cheeks.

“I’m serious about it, Margrethe. All you have to do is say yes and I’ll arrange everything out.”

It was a storm that hit you - Margrethe got up from her chair and hugged you, crying on your shoulders, repeating without a stop ‘thank you’. You caressed her hair, feeling relief to have that situation sorted out.

Margrethe deserved a break and a good life.

*

You were smoking a cigarette by the window of your dorm when you heard a knock on your door, freezing immediately. Did someone rat on you? You weren’t supposed to smoke inside the dorm.

“Y/N, are you in there?” You heard Ivar’s voice and relaxed.

“Don’t fucking knock like that, I thought you were a supervisor,” you said as you opened the door for your boyfriend.

“Damn, what a greeting. Good to see you too,” Ivar pecked you on your lips and smiled brightly, his left hand behind his back, clearly hiding something.

“What do you have there?” You pointed with your chin.

“Oh, this? Nothing but our great next adventure.”

Ivar showed you what was on his left hand and you gasped in surprise.

He held you a jet-black helmet.

“Is this what I think it is?”

“We’re going for a ride, yes.”

You gave Ivar a kiss and quickly shoved him out of your room, excited to go riding.

*

You were on the roadway without a destination. Your arms were around Ivar’s torso and the wind made the length of your hair go flying all around you. You held on tight, inspiring Ivar’s cologne. You rested your cheek on his shoulder, admiring Denmark’s landscape.

You weren’t thinking or looking for the future with Ivar, but only at the present. It’s not that you didn’t want a future with Ivar - it was just that you wanted to free your head from thoughts and seize the moment, to finally take a break.

Present is all that matters.

Life with Ivar would pretty much be an ugly mess, but at least you wouldn’t be alone.

What would come next was going to be fate, a mere consequence of actions and choices.

Your destiny was already sealed, and all you had to do was go ahead.

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[guiltysecretpasttime]

Adversity - 13-A

Fanfic update

I’ve decided to utilize this tumblr space to put in WIPs/partial chapters/unedited stories from my end. Then I’ll post it somewhere in Ao3 or FF.net. Maybe.

 In the meantime, here’s an installment of Adversity (the chapters here in tumblr aren’t updated – it would make much more sense if you check it out on Ao3 first before coming back here). In essence this is part of Chapter 13.

Keen to hear what you think about this portion :)

-

Adversity details

Multi-chapter, work in progress, AU, pre-LoK,

Latest status: up to Chapter 12 uploaded in A03

Blurb: Lin and Tenzin are both at the height of their respective     careers – she with the Metalbending Police and he with the Air Nation.     Questions about their future begin to arise and things come to a head when     Lin responded to an emergency call. Would her job take them from each     other forever? Eventual happy ending. Alternatively: The one where Lin and     Tenzin had to go through adversity like Lin’s dangerous job, a near-death     experience, temporary separation and memory loss, unplanned pregnancy and     Tenzin’s responsibilities before they end up with a family.

Tumblr chapters 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5

Ao3 link |   Ff.net link

---

Adversity – 13-A

 Tenzin clutches a warm towel and wipes it across her forehead. He did not know why and if it would help but he thought it might make her feel better.

Her chest rose and fell with each breath, no longer laborious or irregular. Nonetheless, he kept vigil and held one of her hands. It reminded him of incidents in the past years where he kept watch over her – that night in the Fire Nation Royal Compound when they first found her alive, those nights after missions that might have gone fatally wrong…

The day had started promising. But as always with the two of them, it never was easy…

Once he had the cabana in his view, he should have known that Izumi would have pulled something like this.

---

Tenzin received a message from one of the staff that the princess requested for lunch to be served at one of the beach cabanas. He did not think much about it; it has happened before and figured that maybe Izumi was being a good host.

There was only one person else in the cabana – Lin, who was looking puzzled and was frowning at something on the table.

His feet hit the sand and the earthbender turned to him. “Oh, it’s you.” She looked at him incredulously.

“Sorry to disappoint.” He deadpanned, seating across her. He did not ask questions, assuming that she was led to the cabana using the same ruse.

"I had no idea that you were the man that Izumi said that I'll be meeting for lunch." Lin flicked a note towards him. “Why is she doing this? I found that upon arriving here.”

He caught the paper that slid on the table.

It was in Izumi’s handwriting – informing Lin to please consider (consider – the word was underlined heavily, the insinuation not lost to the reader) this man that she has invited for her. And that they would be left to their own devices as the princess has taken the entire family off for a scenic tour of the island on Druk, Appa and Oogi.

Trust that Izumi would have connived with the rest of the family to pull something like this off.

Tenzin felt the need to apologize for their meddling family and did just that.

Lin shrugged, seemingly uninterested. “Is this supposed to be a test?”

“A test?” What does she mean?

“For me – or for you?” Lin asked back.

“Like for your memory?” To the airbender, it seemed like they were having a different conversation.

The earthbender looked vaguely uncomfortable now, hand lightly patting her belly. “Um no – I mean, for you – is Izumi…?” She trailed off.

For the life of him, Tenzin could not think of what the continuation was.

“Your partner?” Lin finally asked.

What.

“No!” Tenzin’s voice rose, surprised by the question that he did not even consider that the response might have sounded rude. “Of course not!”

“Don’t you protest too much?” Lin was amused. “It’s fine really – or is it a matter of security?” She was being nonchalant about it though Tenzin could have sworn there was a tiny bit of relief in her voice.

“What. No – it’s not like that.” Tenzin had to disabuse her of this ludicrous idea she had. “They’re all just meddling – they mean well – look, Izumi – she’s not my type -!”

Now you just sounded like a whiny teenager.

He cleared his throat and tugged at his collar. “Well, seems like they’re setting us up.”

“Whatever for,” She rolled her eyes then grinned. “Let’s not waste the food then.”

He found himself chuckling at that as Lin proceeded to scoop some food on her plate. “Joke’s on them though.”

Lin’s only response was a raised eyebrow.

“I actually intend to ask you out for dinner today.”

She paused and left her chopstick hanging in the air. “Dinner.”

He wet his dry lips. “Yes.”

“I take it you haven’t told them yet?” Lin examined the other dishes available to them. “What time do we need to get ready or we don’t know yet, depending on how soon they get back?”

Tenzin held the back of his neck as the heat crept up. “I mean, dinner – just us, you and me?”

As much as he did not want to admit, maybe Bumi was right – he did not have game.

Lin’s face was unreadable.

He was able to back-pedal when he heard it.

“Okay.”

 ---

The rest of their lunch went a smoother.

They talked about the mundane things – he talked about Republic City, she talked about the Fire Nation. She asked about what he does in the council and how the RCPD was when they left. He was more than happy to oblige and took the time to answer her questions in great detail.

Before long, when she declared that she felt too full for dessert, he invited her to walk along the shore. He pointed out a cluster of rock formations at the edge of the island.

Lin looked intrigued and they set forth.

He explained that Lord Zuko had told them when they were children that the rocks were formed when the volcano used to be active. It made for an impressive sight, tall and a bit forbidding.

That did not stop them though, Tenzin shared, as they would keep going back there to play when they were younger.

They stood beside the rocks, sandals soaked by the sea, small waves lapping at their legs.

He was in the middle of a retelling of the time Bumi had dared Su to race him to the top (not knowing that the kid can earthbend really well by then) when rather large wave crashed against the rock formation, spraying and drenching them with salt water.

He was laughing, saying he probably should have warned that that usually happens. His eyes alighted on her and was caught mid-laugh.

Lin stood stiffly, her eyes wild. One hand on her cheek (her scars), another on her chest - breathing erratically gulping air.

“Lin!” He immediately held her by the shoulders; she was shaking. “Lin!”

A panic attack.

Each breath rattled against chest as she started blankly, unseeing. Lin was insensible to her surroundings.

Tenzin scooped her up and ran as it all clicked.

Captain Tomasu did say that they had found Lin in the water.

Damn.

The minutes it took him to the rest house felt like hours. With the family away on whatever excursion Izumi and Iroh planned, he had to rely on the staff to come to their aid. Fortunately, the in-house healer was at hand.

The rest was a blur.

 He felt the moment she regained consciousness. Her breathing shifted yet her eyes remained close.

Tenzin continued to run his fingers on her knuckles, whether to comfort her or himself was unclear.

Lin blinked slowly, her breathing sped up. Her hand quickly slapped to her cheek, tracing the scar with shaking fingers.

The airbender could hear her murmuring softly.

“My name is Lin. I’m in Ember Island. I’m okay. I’m safe. We’re -.” Her eyes focused and saw Tenzin at the periphery. “The baby?”

Tenzin leaned forward, grasping both of her hands and placing them on her stomach. “Is okay. You’re both okay – I had you both checked. You just had a little panic attack.”

There was no use alarming her.

“Panic attack…” She whispered to herself. “I used to black out before…”

“I’m sorry,” Tenzin said quietly. “I should have paid more attention to you.”

“You couldn’t have known.” Lin said in an equally soft tone. To his astonishment, she pulled his hand up to her cheek and leaned on it. “You couldn’t have done anything.”

He extended his fingers, gingerly touching her cheek. There were still times in the past weeks when he could not believe that she was here and she was alive. Little touches like these were rare and he savored the moments to remind himself that she was truly there.

“The rice granary,” Lin began, staring at the ceiling, actively avoiding Tenzin’s gaze. “It exploded, you know, the man – the firebender –.”

The airbender waited, this was in the papers and the reports that he was very familiar with.

“He knew what he was doing,” Lin held on his fingers tightly. “He saw me and he set fire – I fell to the water. I felt like drowning – maybe I did.” Tenzin gripped her hand back. “It was really hot and there was a lot of metal scraps. I remember sinking and maybe removing my armor…” Her face scrunched, obviously thinking. “The current was fast, rapidly swept me away – it was so cold. I thought I was going to die.” She resolutely focused on the ceiling when she heard Tenzin’s gasp. “I don’t know how long it was – it was dark, then there was light. My lungs – they burned so bad. Next thing I knew – I was aboard Captain Tomasu’s ship.”

Tenzin’s own breath caught.

Could it be… her memories have returned?

“Don’t force it.” He rubbed her wrist back and forth, hoping to sooth her.

“It’s still blank.” Her face was troubled and eyes were shiny with unshed tears. “I don’t remember what happened before the explosion.”

Feeling her get distressed, Tenzin moved closer to tuck her hair behind her ear. “Don’t worry about it.”

“I’m Lin Beifong, my mother is Toph – we grew up together in Republic City.” She now turned to him. “I live in Republic City now…”

His stomach churned. “What’s the last thing you remember from before?” He asked cautiously, afraid of triggering something.

“I’m deputy chief, I think.” She racked her brains. “There’s this small apartment. I think I live there.”

Tenzin swallowed. This was from a time before they lived together, when they were still exploring their relationship.

“I’m not losing it, am I? That really happened?” Her green eyes wide, seeing reassurance.

He nodded, still silently contemplating what this meant.

“After that – it’s blank.” She released a breath. “Did something significant happen during that missing period?”

“You got promoted to Chief of Police.”

“Maybe that’s it…something to do with work.” Lin guessed absentmindedly, biting her lip.

He added tentatively. “We’ve also decided to move in together.”

The way she looked at him now – it was as if she was seeing him for the first time.

“You’re the father.” She stated it so plaintively with a hint of caution.

“That’s the first time you’ve told me that.” Tenzin attempted to downplay the significance of the revelation. “Don’t worry about it – you probably didn’t know you were pregnant back then before –.” He waved a hand around, at a loss for words on how to explain the situation.

“You’re not even questioning it?” Her voice was tight and her posture tense.

“Not at all.”

She finally let tears flow.

 ---

He embraced her, murmuring reassurances that he will be there for her and the child. He will be involved.

But somehow – there was still that gap in her memory. She was missing something crucial, she can feel it - it was about the Air Nation. The gut feel was of hesitation and wariness. What was it about?

She had talked to Aang the previous days and there were no mentions of issues with the Air Nation.

Maybe it had something to do with crime? With her promotion as Chief of Police?

If only her mother were around… Maybe she could help her piece her memory together.

Lin pulled back from the airbender, who suddenly looked at her with apprehension.

“What happens now – what if I don’t remember?” Now that she had part of her memories back – she hated the feeling of uncertainty.

“We’ll take it one day at a time.” Tenzin inched closer to her, gently cupping her face in his hands, wiping her tears. “Just know that you’re never alone.”

The sincerity in his eyes was enough for her. She did not even need to employ her seismic sense to know he was telling the truth.

She closed her eyes as he moved. She felt his lips on her forehead.

The airbender sat back down, a soft smile on his face.

She looked at their entwined fingers.

She will take this chance.

This was for her child. All for their child. And it will be enough.

[storage73011]

What are you smiling about?

➳ Prompt #2 - What are you smiling about? (more prompts)

➳ Summary: Y/N reminisces about the past 

➳ Pairing: Izuku Midoriya x Reader

➳ Warnings: Fluff, Angst if you squeeze, no beta we die like man, english not being my main language, so I am sorry if I made any mistakes, please don’t hesitate to correct me

➳ Word Count: 2k+

➳ Requests are open

A tired sign pushed throw your lips as you settled the last box, it was certainly being a hassle to make the sift from your old place, but it was stupidly worth it, it was closer to everything, price of the things was better anyway too, closer to your work, and just overall the whole package deal, amazing space, amazing view, a freaking reasonable price that you actually leave you enough money to not need to live off microwave food-

“(Y/N), do you have the box with the pans?”

Oh, and of course, the whole reason why you even considered doing anything in your life, Deku to the world, but for you he would always be Izuku Midoriya, your boyfriend, you could still remember it all as if it were yesterday, precious memories from when you were just starting at UA, as well as him.

Truth to be told, you didn’t quite expect much when you were in the support course, your plan was to make in the world as a pillar for the heroes, with your inventions as to enhance their powers, their abilities, people never use to talk much of them because of the lack of the glamour, but the one time you saw people actively “milking the sweat” out of a hero in training to make a costume that would allow him to use his quirk more efficiently … you knew that people were missing out on tons of good stories.

Meeting Izuku happened on an accident, actually, you weren’t the student assigned to him, UA wasn’t crazy (ok maybe they were a tad crazy looking back) to let only a first year to take care of other first years, most of the hard job would rely on the third years the most since they were going to go to the real working world real soon, but wouldn’t you know that your friendship with the overly energetic Hatsume would let you met the love of your life uh?

It would be like the scene right from a cheap shonen manga when you opened the door and found the girl literally pining the poor green haired boy down forcing him to test some of her inventions, you were so shocked you almost stepped back and decided to ignore that, almost. If it weren’t for a string of fast spoken words as soon as Hatsume was off the boy, babbles that you still couldn’t make sense for the life of you, you were never going to be here now, happy now.

“Yes Zuku, it was the last box!” you shouted back, walking pass the living room to the kitchen.

The pink haired girl laughed it off, as usual, ignoring the fact that she was forcing the boy to something he did not, chuckling it up to “it’s just her way to do things” there was no ill intent, you knew, but still had to have yet another pep talk about people’s personal spaces.

He introduced himself to you rather clumsy, with an unnecessary over the top bow considering that you both were the same age, that was the first time he had made you smile, giggling a little, you did the same.

“I thought we were going to order take out for today, you know, since we worked so god damn hard moving all the things from our old places” you said lazily resting your upper body over in the kitchen counter, eyes darting over your boyfriend while he was placing the new set of plates on the table, his curly hair was even more of a mess, but he didn’t seem tired at all, you even dared to say he was excited.

“I know, I know” he gave a soft laugh, looking at you oh so softly, with a hand over the base of his neck, he used to do this when he was slightly nervous you noticed, he was averting his eyes a bit, still, after all these years, he would still act nervous around you in times like this, you gave a half smile. “I just … though that it would be nice for us to make something together, I mean I understand if you are too tired to want to make something from scratch, you had a full day of work with the new flow of sidekicks in the agency and then still have to finish moving here with me but this is our first time l-living together… and I mean, I just wanted to…. I wanted to” oh god you couldn’t believe he could get even redder, Izuku was great with words when he wanted to be, but new experiences, especially in the relationship usually left him a little overwhelmed.

It could be coincidence or fate, but ever since your first time meeting the hero, he was always there when you had to talk to Mei, or randomly he would find you in the lab testing something out, he’d even volunteer to try some of your newest creations, it wasn’t until you were late to your usual time on the lab that you found him searching for your presence on the empty lab that you knew he was actively trying to spend time with you.

You also found out that a new shade of red existed when you caught him in the act while he mumbled excuses.

It was in the end of second year that he confessed to you, you guys were outside of UA for once, and by some miracle nobody tried to actively murder his class (another whole set of stories, many of them ending up with him crying while you placed gentle touches on his back), it was the middle of summer, the start of the night was hot as hell, you all just had said your goodbyes to your friends, Izuku would always offer to walk you home, even if his house was in the other direction of yours. You were happily playing with one cheap rubber water ball you brough in the small open fair that you guys spend the day looking at stuff while talking to him about some heroes status, you were in the middle of a pretty furious fit of giggles with the uniform of some of the pro heroes when Izuku stopped walking for a moment, you stopped moments later when you realized he wasn’t moving.

He was looking at you tenderly for a second before his face turned into determination and them a sudden realization that made him blush hard, but still stood his ground, not daring for a second to look away from you. You never felt more conscious of everything, in yourself, in him, the breathing, the rest was the rest and you were only focused on him and vice versa.

Taking a deep breath, he took his shot, the words coming out directly, louder than he intended, but ever so clear.

“(Y/N), I am in love with you!”

Then it was quiet. He wouldn’t dare to open his eyes, as if he was afraid of the reaction, of what he had just done. But it wasn’t needed when he could feel you throwing yourself at him in a hug, and the words he needed to hear so much after hearing the ones you wanted the most, so delicately in a whisper, almost as if it was a prayer.

“I love you too, Izuku”

You stepped closer to him, his voice was extremely low, and quiet, if any nose were to be there you would miss it. You placed your hands in each side of his cheeks, he was taller than you now, and gave him a reassuring smile, Izuku still would not dare to make eye contact.

“Want to…?” you tried to keep with the same low tone he was, as if you talked louder you could startle him, the smile never leaving your lips.

“…To make memories with you” Green orbs were now your focus, big doe eyes that would get you every time you looked at them with that sparkle that was always there when he talked to you, you felt your right hand being enveloped by a much larger, rougher one, slightly sliding over his lips, where he placed a delicate kiss over your palm. “I guess I just want us to have a great start together here” he let go of you hand while leaning towards the other that was still on his cheek, finally admitted to his small domestic desire.

“Then get me the ingredients, mister” you responded in a heartbeat, slightly booping his nose then placing both of your hands on your hips with more enthusiasm than you actually had “because we are making curry then”

“Don’t force yourself for me, (Y/N)” He said, softly, even if he could not hide his contentment.

“Izu, you’re always doing things for me, this is the least I could do, believe me, this is a two-way street after all” you added with a slightly smug face while already getting the carrots ready to be sliced.

Seemly satisfied with your answer, your boyfriend turned over to make his part of the meal, while you were humming a song.

Sometimes, being on support was brutal, people would complain to you about things that were not even your work but since it didn’t worked well with the other amalgamation of equipment’s they have, suddenly it was all your fault over and over again, turns out that Karens could actually be heroes and this information would have been so much nicer if people could have focused that while you were studying but oh well.

You flopped in your boyfriend’s place again, too tired to actually wait more time to take the train to go to your house, you needed a break.

Your lovely boyfriend chuckled a little once you walked upon the doors looking like a zombie and flopping onto the couch without any grace.

“Don’t laugh at my suffering Zuzu” you whined, not taking your face off the soft pillow.

“Sorry honey” you could feel him sitting next to you, his fingers running through your hair, you almost melted in fabric. “Hard day?”

“Something like that” You were non nonchalant, looking up a little to see him, he could and would lift your humor without even noticing, you missed seem him everyday like this. “Thank for letting me here again Zuzu, I just am very tired and plus having to travel half of the city just so I can sleep doesn’t seem much worth it hehe”

“I see… but” He cleared this throat, in a half cough, you tilted your head slightly, his cheeks were flushed, but his hand was still over your head “I… I mean… you could always live here”

“Really?” That aught your attention, you guys were together for quite a while now but you didn’t want to rush him in any way.

“It … It would make sense and you would be more rested too, besides here is a great place, I have more than enough space as it is, the seller of the place himself actually was telling me on and on that his place was too big for only one person, but I would assure him that I wouldn’t be here alone for long and…” He would have continued to ramble if he didn’t register that he spilled his plan to you, keeping himself quiet.

“Of course I will move in with you Izuku!” there was never a doubt of it.

Two strong arms were slowly placed around your waist, with a small nuzzle on the back right were your head met your neck, his breathing sending shivers down your spine.

“What are you smiling about?” You could feel his own smile against your skin, making the smile you weren’t aware you had even wider.

“That I love you so much” your arms were over his, placing your fingers over each on of his “so much”

You couldn’t see, but as the hug got a little bit tighter, his lips tracing over your neck, you could tell, or at least hope he had the same blush on his face that you were having right now.

“I love you too, (Y/N)”

[yea-no-thank-you-nope]

The Philosophy of Dr. Stone

  My intentions for this essay are not to try and persuade you into thinking Senku is an awful person and whoever thinks like this is selfish and childish. I’m very sorry if I did come across as that. I do believe Senku is right in some aspects like the whole “leveling the playing field” thing and the curiosity humans naturally have towards science. I just think that everyone should not be unpetrified, that there should be laws in place on science to make sure it’s not unnecessarily cruel or harmful, and that in this situation it would be better to try and rebuild humanity better than in the past. Both Senku and Tukasa are flawed in their way of thinking. Humanity cannot survive with only one in power, shaping the world to what they want.

Now I wanted to say this at the start but I absolutely love Dr. Stone, this essay is not a barrage of the story and how it’s garbage or anything or that anyone is. This is not an attack but an invitation to a discussion. I’m making this essay because I appreciate the story and think it is so incredibly interesting. This essay is constructive criticism so the story can be better and so people can discuss the topics and the opinions they have of them, basically just an excuse to make people talk about this awesome story. I also have not read the manga, I’ve only watched the anime so if you decide to respond please do it very vaguely. I’m fine if you talk about the new arguments brought up but not ok if you spoil the show so please be careful.

I’m going to begin with psychology because that’s my jam and I obsess over psychological topics and discussions. I am by no means a professional but I haven’t heard anyone point out or talk about the ideas and opinions I have, so I’ll just do it. The psychology in Dr. Stone is incredibly thought provoking and makes the audience take a close look at their society and the people around them. What would you do if all of humanity was turned to stone and when you wake up all evidence of humans has corroded away except for the statues of said people scattered everywhere? What would you do if the world was basically reset, including humanity? What would you do?

That in-and-of itself is exiting. It's fun to think of what you would do in such an radial situation. With that the audience can automatically empathies with the cast of characters and their versions of how they decide to handle the situation. Senku’s choice is to unpetrify everyone and bring humanity back to the modern age. This may be what most people would do, I don’t know for sure but I haven't heard a lot of people who actually disagree with his point of view so I’m just assuming. This is like the textbook, basic ideology a human could have. All humans have that basic instinct to save as many people as possible, it just makes sense. This and the fact that Senku is google reincarnated makes him the perfect protagonist for this story. People may not be able to empathies with a scheming scientific genius but they can empathies with his desire to save everyone just like in any other Shonen anime. It’s easy to think this way and it's understandable, but that doesn't mean it’s right.

On the other hand we have Tsukasa. He is, to put it simply, the complete opposite to Senku. He is still smart but is not a walking talking Alexa and is incredibly strong. He believes that they shouldn't bring back everyone and instead pick and choose who to unpetrify. He thinks that bringing back humanity to the way it was will only cause destruction, war, power imbalances, and greed. Now you may call this a “hot take” but I came across some misunderstandings on Tsukasa’s stand. He does not disagree with science, he disagrees with Senku. He does not think that science itself is the root of all human evil, he thinks humans are. Now you may be asking “How do you know that for sure?”, well, why would he compliment Senku on his knowledge of science if he hates it? The only time I can remember him saying anything bad about science is when he was talking about guns, bombs, and other weapons of mass destruction. But it’s clear that he only brought that up to persuade Senku in not reviving the greedy and the ones who will use them to oppress and kill others. Again, just like with Senku, the audience can sympathize and understand this character and their actions. No one wants to see another in pain and surely does want anyone to die, they want to save everyone.

Senku and Tsukasa are on the absolute opposite side of each other but are still on the same coin. They both want the best for humanity but have 2 conflicting viewpoints. Now it would be incredibly easy to just pick a side and argue for that side and why it’s right but I don’t think people see that both of those are very flawed ideals and although in theory they could work, in practice both of them fall apart. If Senku gets his way and everyone is revived and basically back to the way the world was, humanity will get right back on track to the destruction of the world. We were already on that track before the petrification. Scientists predict that 2050 is basically the doomsday year. In 2050 there will not be enough food to feed us all due to overpopulation and global warming is getting worse and worse by the second. If we don’t take drastic steps to stop it then the world is on track towards an early ice age and even the destruction of the entire planet. But in this universe that exact thing happened (the drastic steps not the destruction of the world). With all of humanity frozen in an instant all pollution creation stopped, the furnaces burning coal died out, and over hunting/ over deforestation ceased in an instant. I’m not a professional scientist so I don’t know if 3,000 years is actually enough time for the world to completely reset but I do know that with the sudden halt on human activity could allow the earth to completely heal.

So the issue with Senku’s viewpoint seems to be that he viewed the modern age as a utopia of sorts which makes sense, it’s the peak of science and he loves science. Senku was born physically weak and preferred to use his brain over his muscles. He viewed science as a way to “level the playing field”, and he’s not wrong. It definitely levels the playing field but that’s only if they have access to it, it does not work if the people who don’t need it are the only ones who can have it. In primitive society (I’m mainly going to focus on Native American culture and history because that’s the one I know the most) many people were born with deformities or any other phenomenon that now-a-days is seen as a disability, but they were just as important as anyone else in the group. Back then it didn’t matter. Yes you were more likely to be killed or die by natural occurrences but not by other people. By eliminating the dangers of nature, people shift their hatred onto other people. This is exactly the reason that in so many stories 2 opposing groups come together to defeat a common enemy. That's where the phrase “the enemy of my enemy is my friend”. Now to be fair the show never really touches on the topic of nature being dangerous, it always seems to just be humans. It only ever sturs away from this in situations like the acid lake that gives off toxic fumes, but the show doesn't really want to focus on that aspect, which is fine, if they want to tell a story about the people then they can, I mean that's what I’m writing about now.

Senku wants to bring back everyone because he knows that that is the fastest way to create all the technology. If you remember from before I touched briefly on how the world was going to shit was in part due to overpopulation. I think you know where I’m going with this. Even with the earth reset and nature covering all, that is still not going to be enough food for all of them. It has already been proven that there is no way to sustain this large of a human population. The reason we are not all dying of starvation right now is because most of the food produced can barley be considered food at all, the other food is genetically altered, and it all goes to only one group of people. You see, when I asked “why are we not starving to death” I was technically lying, we are. Not counting the small percentage of the population that can afford all the food, we are starving to death, and it is by our own hands. The world we live in today is not a utopia. Yes we have science that can save lives but those are made by the countless deaths of rats, monkeys, and so many other animals we use as “lab rats”.

I’m not saying all this to make you feel bad, I’m bringing it up to try and explain why what Senku is doing terrifies me. I couldn’t imagine how it would feel to wake up to a fresh new start on life only to find out someone wants to rebuild it all again. He is not learning from history, he is repeating it. That is why Senku’s idea of what he wants the world to be is great on paper but crumbles apart when put into practice.

  I have also heard that the reason Senku wants to bring back the modern age is because he just wants to go to space, making it a selfish act on his part. I thought this was incredibly interesting and relatable and really made me look at his character differently. This would be another way of thinking about the petrifying if humanity, some would see it as this horrible event that ruined their lives and again, this makes sense. All Senku ever wanted to do was go to space. That’s why he learned science in the first place. He spent his entire life working towards that goal and right when he could have had it, it disappeared. I don't blame him for wanting everything to go back to where it was and now I really want to see if this is addressed or challenged in the story. I want to see Senku come to terms with this and finally get closure, not only on the situation but also his dad. Basically I just want him to cry god dammit! Let him cry! Let him be healthy and accept his emotions!

Speaking of emotions, it’s well known that he hides his and if you have been screaming at me about that fact, I know. I understand that until this point I may have been portraying Senku as this selfish greedy and mean person who doesn't care about humanity at all and I’m sorry if it did. That description does not fit him at all. It’s subtle but when you see it you can’t unsee it. As mentioned before he was born very weak and so couldn’t really protect himself from others, this is by no means a disability but close enough to where he can understand the pain and struggles that people who are disabled face. When he made glasses for the 2 villagers he stated that science levels the playing field. That little interaction reveals that he does care about helping other people and hoping to fix their problems with science. He also further elaborated on his idea with Magma when they were mining. He stated that everyone has a job to do and neither job is better than the other. This shows his understanding of everyone's roles and how, as a species, to thrive we must all work together. This further drills home the point to me that it’s not that Senku is stupid or that he doesn’t care about humanity but that his still a little kid who never really had to go through or see the awful and corrupt side of the world. I hate using this word because I feel like it’s used too much but by all intents and purposes, Senku is privileged. He only seems to know the science of today as this life saving, world altering and fundamentally good concept, not the steps in which it took to get there, how many lives and dead ecosystems it took to get where we are today, and what we are still doing. Don’t forget about the whole global warming thing, mass deforestation, and pollution.

I am going to give 2 examples of how science can be cruel and how it doesn't need to be. I’m going to get into deep stuff here so it’s ok if you skip it. I’m talking about slavery and the experimentation of animals. Do you remember when the U.S.A was tearing down statues? One of them (I don’t know if it was torn down. I just know that it’s in front of a university and people wanted it gone) was a statue of a man who progressed the field of medicine and healthcare immensely, but did so at the expense of specifically black women. He believed that they were incapable of feeling pain and so performed many horrific surgeries and tests on them with no pain killer. Yes he greatly furthered the field of healthcare, but that doesn't make it right and especially not humane. He should not and did not need to do that. We would figure it out on our own. Sure it would probably take a lot more time but that doesn't justify the actions of that man. The other example is an ongoing process that is still in practice today, the experimentation of animals. If you don’t know, before a beauty product or medicine of some sort can enter the market it needs to be checked by the government to see if it is safe for us to use. So companies use monkeys and other animals to test their product on. It is horrific. The scientists treat those animals with no respect or care for the lives of them. It is unnecessary and cruel. We would figure it out on our own. Sure, it probably would take longer, but that doesn't make it right. It’s an excuse.

Senku doesn't seem to know this seeing as how he basically learned everything from scratch with experiments. That’s why I’m saying Senku is naïve and not a cruel monster who doesn't care who gets hurt, as long as it satisfies his curiosity and expands the field of science. I do hope that later down the line the story confronts that fact and we see first hand that he is not willing to do whatever it takes to go back to modern civilization as much he wants us to believe. I want to see him come to terms with this and decide that, with everything, there are rules and boundaries. This is also why I keep harping back to how I want to see this explored in the story. Senku clearly wants to help humanity and cares for others. He has morals and so has boundaries. I want to see him pushed to the edge, to see just how far he will go in the name of science and for the bettering of humanity. At the end of the day he is still human, everyone is.

Tukasa’s turn! The issue with Tukasa’s view point is simply because he thinks all young people are good people. This is not true. Old people can be good and bad. Adults can be good and bad. Children can be good and bad. It all depends on the person. This is not even mentioning the fact that children can not raise other children. No matter how wise Tukasa is for his age, he can not raise children (and yes teenagers count as children). There's a reason why in every culture all 3 stages of life serve a purpose and depend on each other, one cannot live without the other. He needs good people, not young people to restart humanity.

At first I saw it unfair and one sided how the story constantly depicted Tukasa as an evil person and that he is a tyrant. This was until it was pointed out to me that the reason for that is because Senku is the main character so the audience sees through his perspective, so if he sees Tukasa as evil, the audience will too. Even with that I understand why people will not like Tukasa and so in extension not listen to his argument. I want to give him a chance because he, and by extension the people like him, deserve it. I understand why people don’t though. He smashes the statues of people because he genuinely believes that all are bad and so takes action to protect others, just like Senku who seemed ready to kill Tukasa with the crossbow he made and the gun he was going to use on him, they both thought what they were doing was right. This does not excuse either of their actions, no one to be clear can use this as an excuse, I still want to bring up a fact that I personally think people forget (including myself). The show is set in a post-apocalyptic world. Yes, characters can unpetrify other characters but some are too far gone. In the background we see statues missing limbs and body parts. I was actually surprised and skeptical when it was shown that there were so many perfectly intaced statues Tukasa was able to find. They must be made out of harder rock than I thought. Either way, I know people can survive without certain body parts and I’m not saying they can't. It's just as far as we know, if they attempt to unpetrify someone missing a body part (especially if it’s a leg) they might bleed out instantly and without all the proper equipment needed. Or will the stone heal the stump? If so what if they find the missing part later? Can they reattach it? Can they attach body parts from other people and unpetrify them? What would happen? Would the stone merge the parts together or reject it? The stone is explicitly stated to have healing properties so what would happen? It’s still too early to know and with knowing that information comes from human experimentation and could lead to many lives lost. It was ok with the birds because they were small and still intaced so there was no danger. The point that I’m getting to is that the line is incredibly blurred and the drastic life-and-death situation everyone is in, I wouldn't jump to say Tukasa is a monster. He may be killing people or they could have been dead in the first place, not to mention like I said before it would be impractical and deadly to revive every human being on planet Earth.

This is why I think Tukasa’s plan is flawed. He is only one person and so is limited in his ideas. He thinks that only the young are good people and if only the characters would actually TALK to each other then both of them could see the flaws and work together instead of jumping to conclusions. I hope now that Senku and Tukasa are friends of sorts that they finally get to do that but again, I don’t know I have not read the manga.

I have also heard (mainly from video essays on YouTube) that, uncoincidentally, people think that Tukasa’s ideals are naïve when I think Senku’s is. I find it amazing that both of us thought the same thing but of the opposite philosophy. The opinions they expressed made me realize something. Because humanity discovered science, it will do so again and again. While I thought it was naïve to simply return to the way things were and not carry any of the emotional baggage needed to at least try and better humanity and learn from the past, someone else thought that it was futile to hinder the scientific process of humanity and go back to hunter-and-gatherers. I did disagree with some things they said, that is to be expected, but I also realized that that is what we have been doing since as far back as the history books go. It was called different names but the idea is still the same. We try to make sense of the world around us. In cultures across the world gods represented the natural world and phenomenon that occurred, it was just by a different name. Those religions and science try to explain the world around them. Why does corn grow? Quetzalcoatl makes them grow. Chlorophyll provides the nutrients necessary to sustain the plant and make it grow by Photosynthesis. Why does it snow? Frau Hole shakes her sheets and some feathers fall out, causing snow. With the evaporation of water leaves the gaseous form in the sky and if it gets cold enough will freeze and fall. It’s all the same thing. Humans are curious by nature and will always be.

The things that I disagreed with was that they didn’t really seem to think that science can coexist with nature, like it’s either one or the other. They explain that Tukasa believes humanity should be more naturalistic but also calls him stupid. I understand his side in thinking there is no way to revert back to being hunter-gatherers and that no matter what, over time people will rediscover science so the effort is futile. What I don’t seem to understand is why we can’t have both? It might seem naïve at first considering everyone only knows a society of science that destroys the world for progress but with a world altering event like the one in the story and a good leader to boot, it is absolutely possible. The world has already changed so much so I don’t see why people wouldn't (not talking about those greedy people and politicians, I’m talking about the average human being). It just seems so cynical of humanity as a whole to give up before even trying. I understand we are all depressed but still. It’s no excuse not to try.

My ideas for what they can do is to live both with nature and science. First set up rules and laws. Everyone can pitch in to create them and vote on which ones should be reinforced so that not one person has too much power and so the people collectively can understand the importance of those laws. Everyone can choose their job to do like black smithing, building, hunting, sewing and other jobs that are needed. With that they can either choose to have a form of currency or not but under no circumstances is anyone allowed to own land. The land is for everyone and the resources are to be shared accordingly. With the issue of the statues, it could be voted on who can be unpetrified. This way we don’t raise the issue with Tukasa and Senku. One thought too narrow minded and the other was too broad. With the voting system everyone gets to assess the needs of the society as a whole and if the person unpetrified turns out to be bad, the blame would not fall on one person but everyone. This eliminates one person having too much power and subsequently the people would not revolt and kick them out of power, putting another in their place and the cycle starts anew. There can still be science, there will just be restrictions on what is acceptable to do or not.

I understand the flaws in my ideas. I know that making everyone agree to certain things is incredibly hard especially when there's no way anyone can really stop people from doing what they want. There is no government already put in place. They need to build one from scratch and make it so that everyone is down with it and will follow it. I also understand that people can be lazy and not know what they want. Some people will choose to be lazy and either not do their job or choose a job that is specifically lazy in nature. People also probably don’t know what job they want to perform, this is especially prevalent in the young. People could also fight over who will be revived. I know many people, including myself, who have people in their life that they love but are not good people or who will probably not survive in the new world. I mean who’s going to tell Becky that we all know she loves her grandfather but he’s racist, a known sex offender, and already has a diet of 20 hamburgers and 50 Gatorades, there is no way we can provide that much food, we don’t even know if he’ll eat it considering he’s use to junk food and we just reinvented bread a week ago. It tastes awful and the bakers are trying their best but no one can make 50 Gatorades . No one sure as hell wants a sex offender or racist around either.

My intentions for this essay are not to try and persuade you into thinking Senku is an awful person and whoever thinks like this is selfish and childish. I’m very sorry if I did come across as that. I do believe Senku is right in some aspects like the whole “leveling the playing field” thing and the curiosity humans naturally have towards science. I just think that everyone should not be unpetrified, that there should be laws in place on science to make sure it’s not unnecessarily cruel or harmful, and that in this situation it would be better to try and rebuild humanity better than in the past. Both Senku and Tukasa are flawed in their way of thinking. Humanity cannot survive with only one in power, shaping the world to what they want.

If you want to use my essay in a video or something you are welcome to as long as you credit me. If you want to respond or just talk about this topic feel free to, this is a discussion, not an argument.