#why did rose even matter as a character what was the point of this characterization. she was all for nothing

[ironmanstan]

Ill forever be mad ab the pink diamond reveal tho btw

[invested-in-your-future]

Ruby this Ruby that you sound like a broken record. She already grieved and she wouldn't hate Jaune because Ruby is a HERO and she forgives

Now gee why would I be annoyed that the show's main character got screwed over from having a proper character arc, interesting character development and having genuinely heartfelt story moments that matter! Why would anyone be mad that a character with volumes of build up got all of that potential and depth stolen?! How unthinkable to be annoyed that a show titled RWBY doesn't have anything to do with R or W or B or Y!

One of the things that anyone that has written anything will say when talking about story structure is that you should never have your characters be completely infallible or have the narrative their personality traits for granted.

The concept of fictional writing since time immemorial has always involved overcoming (or failing to overcome) obstacles, be it literal or figurative.

To put it simply - a choice or an action or a character trait loses all of it's value when it's "an unchanging default outcome". If you take a blank sheet of paper and try to paint something with only white, all you will get is same white.

Conflict, facing obstacles as part of character development, etc helps highlight character traits by via simple contrast.

A character at their highpoint is notable only because there's a contrast with them hitting a low point. Being kind, being forgiving, being heroic, being cruel, being vengeful, being malicious - all of character traits are choices. And them being choices (conscious or subconscious), are what gives them meaning. That's what characterization is if one were to simplify it - taking character traits and exploring them as character reacts to or reflects upon something that is happening or happened and then makes a decision

if a character, Ruby or anyone really, never has to struggle with those choices, then their choices, personality traits and even story themes that surround the character are all worthless.

You don't design a filler dimension of Character Development with the goal of putting your protagonist into situation where she is at her lowest and then offscreen literally anything relevant to that as well as any sort of struggle or conflict.

She might forgive, she might not, but seeing her process that information and seeing that conflict is crucial to her as a character. And not just this specific case - there's plenty of things she experienced that show just completely handwaves away in V9 (like her entire psychological trauma or EVEN HER HAVING FLAWS).

A character being always forgiving and always heroic "because story wants it to be the case" means absolutely nothing and might as well be white noise.

The latest offscreen Incident (one of many offscreen incidents) is just another case where Ruby could have had an important character moment and didn't.

As it stands MilesWBY Ruby is nothing. Entire main cast really. There's been no real progression since end of V3 and whatever interesting consequences of V3 there could have been, have been constantly downplayed or ignored. Ruby Rose has ended the volume a worse and more shallow character than she started it as because all of the potential to salvage her character and make her more complex was robbed. All of the cast did, really.

Ever After was created as the Filler Dimension of Character Development and instead it ended up as merely "The Filler Dimension".

[maleyanderecollection]

My Secret Brother

Author: Willow

Genre/s: Romance/Comedy

I found this one by chance while going through the male yandere tag at MangaUpdates. The guy on the cover thumbnail was attractive, so I gave it a go; plus, I didn’t really care for the incest bait in the summary. Heck, I wouldn't have cared whether or not the series ended in incest. However, I was skeptical if it would contain yandere, so I went into it apprehensive.

I finished the series in just two days, and the yandere is a solid 8/10. The yandere—and the attractive guy I found on the cover thumbnail—are similarly not the brother, by the way. (Although the brother is the true end ML, which pretty much solidifies the pseudoincest. If that squicks you, don’t pick it up.) The attractive cover guy’s name is Yeon Seonghwa and I think that’s who the editor had in mind while tagging "male yandere" for the series on the site where I discovered it. The manhwa has five seasons, and he only shows up from about chapter 80 onward. I write this terribly unsure because Seonghwa is a textbook creepy manipulative narcissist ex, and I think his character more befits that title than "yandere".

To explain, Yeon Seonghwa is the protagonist's (Lee Hanmi's) ex-boyfriend. He’s narcissistic as all hell, not in appearance but in self-preservation and his ego. The story begins with the MC and her brother transferring schools in the middle of a semester, and Seonghwa is the reason why. He’s a dangerous individual. He especially sticks out because of the setting: in this coming-of-age romcom brother-sister dating drama, he’s busy smuggling drugs, and it’s an actual crime the police catch him for at the finale.

The reason for my hesitation in labeling him a yandere is because of his own explicitly written thoughts towards Hanmi in the manhwa. He’s fixated and obsessed with Hanmi because he was once sure that "she" was in love with him, that he owned her, and that Hanmi would forgive anything that he would ever do. He’s thrilled by this. He’s intrigued by her and respects how smart she is. As a result, his ego was completely crushed when he realized, after beating up Oh Junhyuk, that Hanmi values her brother more than him. He’s motivated by money, and even his revenge quest against Hanmi is nothing more than to give himself an ego boost by making her completely dependent on him, then crushing her by dumping her eventually. (Interestingly enough, I don’t think he’s realized his other feelings for Hanmi since there are characterization hints in the extra chapters that point to him being somewhat infatuated with her too, but more on this later.)

To backtrack, I’m aware that yandere characters at their core can be analyzed realistically and broken down to portray real-life behavioral issues that are often negative, and there is merit in acknowledging that this kind of conduct in actual relationships is not desirable. Most series that employ yandere as a fictional trope are a shallow amalgamation of all these toxic behaviors through a rose-colored lens to titillate the reader, and that is okay. This general use of the trope set my expectations of what a yandere is as a reader (someone who is insane for the sake of love, no matter how unrealistic the "for love" portion is explained). Therefore, while I think that Seonghwa is a yandere to some extent, the series makes an effort to show the problematic reasoning behind his actions, so the romanticization of it is taken down a notch. He explicitly states that it doesn’t matter if he likes Hanmi. This portrayal of his character makes him diverge from the usual yandere template (the whole "in love" thing), which was why I only gave him an 8.

Now, about the extra chapters: I did note that Seonghwa’s character motivation, as he explained himself, was to make Hanmi fall completely in love and dependent on him (which he believes she should have been), breaking her heart by dumping her at the end. Yet, in the alternate universe extra chapter ending that the author drew where Hanmi and Seonghwa ended up as partners in crime, they’ve been together for five whole years. I have to note at this point that the author has put up a disclaimer that these extras do not belong to the canon timeline and are simply what-ifs had Hanmi chosen another path. I’m simply taking it as an example to show that Seonghwa wouldn’t have gone through with his plan even if he had Hanmi. Much as he claims it "does not matter if he liked Hanmi or not," he didn’t deny the accusation either. All I'm saying is that if there was anything else in Seonghwa's tiny, shriveled nut of a heart besides money, it was probably Hanmi.

Wrapping up, I wouldn’t really recommend reading My Secret Brother for the yandere if you’re fond of yandere MLs because Seonghwa isn’t the lead at all; he’s the major villain. He’s kind of just a major thorn in their side. However, I still think that it is engaging to read for the romance and the general intrigue. The relationship chart in this series gets hella messy. Plus, the art is nice enough to just stare at when you want to read something to pass the time.

[bisamwilson]

hey sweetheart, how are you? hope you’re doing well and having a wonderful day 🩷💖

for the ask game: 💫 💞 💥 ☯️ 🧿

hello love!!! hope you are too!!! <3

(from this list)

💫: what is your favorite kind of comment/feedback?

oh i ADORE when people leave those long comments that mention/react to specific parts of the fic/chapter that they loved/want to speculate on/etc. like if i get a comment notification email and i see like a block of text or multiple paragraphs it keeps me going for WEEKS afterwards!!! obviously all (positive) comments are appreciated, but those are always my very favorite

💞: what's the most important part of a story for you? the plot, the characters, the worldbuilding, the technical stuff (grammar etc), the figurative language

the characters! i've talked with a-chan about this a bunch recently, actually, especially since i write so many aus, and my general metric for how successful and AU is is if you recognize the characters even though they're in completely different situations. like that's the metric for me if i've written a successful fic, if the characters are believably themselves no matter what situation i've written them in, canon or otherwise (which leads me to another favorite au-specific comment, which is when someone compliments me on characterization or on how i work specific plot points into a ficverse separate from canon!)

there are certain fics however that i wanted to have Certain Vibes™, so in those cases the figurative language was also very important to me (the angel/demon au comes to mind here). and given i was kind of forcibly made editor in chief of my high school paper when i was still a Young Mak, i'm ngl and say grammar isn't also very important to me lmao. i'm always in awe of other people's fics with amazing worldbuilding, but i think that matters to me the least. it's why i love the LOTR movies but the books weren't my favorite. couldn't handle that much worldbuilding (sorry, tolkien)

💥: find your least kudos'd fic - say something wonderful about it.

my least kudos'd fic is it's raining on prom night, which is unsurprising, given it's a samriley prequel to a sambucky au.

i do really love this fic tho! getting to write high school aged sam in sweet puppy love with his childhood best friend was so much fun, and i loved getting to dig deeper into who sam was before we got into the actual au proper. i also really loved the way i wrote this exchange, specifically bc i think i did a pretty good job of establishing the kind of banter, relationship, and history they have despite it being such a short fic that takes place way into their knowing each other (and even dating each other)

“A gift is a nice way of putting it,” Riley replies, laughing. “That flower was half-dead and I’d given it to you specifically because my mama was gonna kill me if I ruined another one of her bouquets and you were the nearest person to me. Also we were five, but if you want to consider that the start of my long game to get you to date me, I’ll accept the status of romantic mastermind.” Sam laughs, grabbing the Swiss army knife out of his pocket that Peggy would kill him for having at a diplomatic event and cutting down a bloom to hand to Riley. “You were some kind of mastermind, all right. Your mama would’ve yelled at anybody else, but I was the new kid and the pastor’s son, so I got a free pass that day. Everybody went home happy, and I accidentally landed myself a troublemaker best friend.” Riley makes sure the partial stem is free of thorns and tucks the rose behind Sam’s ear. “Everybody went home happy except my mama, you mean.” “Well, that’s a given. Her poor roses.”

☯️: how do you think engaging with each other through tumblr, twitter, comments, kudos, creates healthy fandom experiences? How do you deal with that if you're not a social person/experience social anxiety?

this is,,, a complicated question. on the one hand, i've developed some really great fandom friendships i never would have otherwise if i hadn't started writing (i've always been a lurker before now, and while i had some mutuals i was fond of, they were never people i'd seek out for conversation, much less go visit/have them come visit me!) on the other hand, there are some really toxic people in fandom, and publishing your own work opens you up to a lot of vulnerability when those people don't play so nicely, especially when you imbue a lot of yourself into your work through the characters, or your time, or even in some cases your experiences. it also can lead to the trap i found myself falling into last year, which is that since so many of my fandom friends came bc i was writing, i feared i'd lose them all when i stopped writing. obviously this hasn't happened even as my output has slowed dramatically (early 2022 mak would probably be horrified to know i haven't published anything in like five months), but that was a legitimate worry i had, and it was. very bad on my mental health. so it's all about striking that balance of finding friends and community but doing so in a way that like,,, doesn't leave you having anxiety attacks and major bouts of horrible self esteem over your own fics and writing ability at the end of it all

🧿: what steps do you take to not take things personally if a fic doesn't do well, or if your writing/posting/sharing experience isn't going how you'd like it to?

this goes back a lot to my previous answer which is just like. setting those own clear boundaries in my head that this is a hobby that i enjoy doing for myself and also bc i have wonderfully supportive friends, and like at this point i've published enough fics that i'm comfortable telling people off if they're shitty on them, tho thankfully there haven't been many instances (i am, however, forever haunted by an earlier fic i wrote where someone commented something along the lines of "i was kinda hoping [x thing that i didn't write] would happen but of course what you did was good too" and i wasn't confident enough to be like "hey what the fuck. this was kinda rude, friend. go write your own fic????")

basically if the response is negative, then either i learn if there's something to be learned, or if not, i tell them to go eat shit bc i know my value (@ peggy carter thank u for this wonderful piece of wisdom that has gotten me through many years of self doubt), or if the response is just lacking, then i brush it off bc i know that my fics 1) make me happy and 2) make a lot of my friends happy too. even if the fic doesn't do well, if i've just got one person gushing about how much they love it, well, that's someone else in this world i've made happy by doing something i enjoy, and that's enough :)

[cosm1cbrownie]

unironically i kinda hate how sonic feels and acts in newer media (specifically prime and a bit of idw)

rant/tangent time wooo

note: might be a bit unorganized due to this being on my old azz galaxy s7 edge lol

alright. So i just finished reading the idw sonic comics allll the way up to the the most recent side comic, Scrapnik Island #4.

So like, while reading the main idw comic i kinda felt like.. sonic was just kinda a dick near the end for no reason??? Like yeah hes mostly fine in the beginning but once we get to the point where people put these high expectations on him and hes basically under a lot of pressure (which i understand) but i feel like the way they are characterizing him is just :

"haha sonic doesnt care and acts on inpulse like a dick and doesnt recognize the shit hes done and is basically a little shit lmao he also is just kinda and idiot and seems to forget things on the basis of when it most convient for him !!!"

i didnt really feel much of it in idw until the later chapters, but it started to get prevalent when i was reading these in between me watching Sonic Boom. (The Show, which is my favorite outside of AOSTH.)

Now personally, i think Sonic Boom's charactasation of Sonic is probably the best one we have had in a long while. Although its a comedy, i like how sonic is aware of what's going on and takes into account what his friends are suggesting.

Like the episode where he does something that affects a citizen of the town, (minds going blank on what the towns name is lmao) and when his friends (and the other villagers) let him join the whole "talk about our feelings" club thing,

at first, he opposes the idea of apologizing saying that calling people "people" isnt bad, (ik this was played for jokes it still supports my argument.) they encourage him to recognize that what he did was wrong,, and they tell him to go apologize, and he does, albeit with a bit of "ok fine i admit it pls go away" but atleast he doesnt outright deny it or seem stupid for trying to do so and failing.

Thats my issue with prime, sonic just seems like an oblivious idiot who doesnt recogize how to read the damn room and listen to his friends when it matters most. He acts like a tiny child, which doesnt make sense to me, because hes been through adventures and times similar to this and for most of the newer media they dont wanna recognize sonics shortcomings and upbringings as a character at all??????? Like i think frontiers got it right with the story, and sonic who understood what was going on and stopped every once in a while to smell the roses and help his friends!

But in newer media outside of frontiers, it seems like sonic doesnt know how to smell the fucking roses every once in a while and stop thinking on impulse, like they are making him seem like he only acts on impulse, all the damn time, with no regards of what was or is being said to him or even taking it into account???

Like yes, we fucking get it sonic can sometimes act on impulse when hes in a stressful situation thats what makes him seem real, makes him seem human.

But, when you make him into this douche canoe who acts on inpulse all the time, disregards his friends when it matters most, and casually dissapoints them when ever he feels like it, or when it benefits him (cough cough the picnic scene in prime), i dont think most people would want him to have a good time, which im sure is the reason why most people, including myself, thought sonic deserved that punch from shadow. (who is great in prime btw, was okay in boom too but needed more time to flesh him out outside of 3 eps hes supper immature and i love him lmao) He's a dick. And i dont like him.

So, i hope to god they rewrite sonics character in prime s2 because he was unrionically just a giant fuckin dick instead of a snarky but caring 'anti hero' (like in boom) and that makes me really mad grahhhh

[also side tangent i dont hate prime (lemme make this clear) this whole sonic rant was just me nitpicking how sonic is currently in media outside of frontiers

ALSO ALSO SIDE TANGENT 2 HOW DID THEY FUCK UP SONIC SO BAD BUT GOT SHADOW ALL GOOD AND SHIT????? WHATT???? BRO THEY ARE POLAR OPPOSITE CIRCLE GRAPHS WHICH OVERLAP THEY ARE NOT THAT HARD TO MAKE SOBS INTENTLY]

[hidingoutbackstage]

4, 7 , 12, 16 and 20 for resi ~

4. what was the last straw that made you finally block that annoying person? I realized I was putting too much energy into hate reading their blog to make fun of it. I'm going to dislike every single post they make so why subject myself to their bs? Blocked

7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them? Luis. I didn't care too much for him in the og, he was fine but w/e (apart from the comment to Ashley I will have his head for that) and even in the remake he's still w/e to me if a little better but. My g-d. Will people not shut up about him. You've seen my rant post about how re4make fans treat Luis vs. Ashley I don't need to explain again lmao

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them Steve Burnside! I have a soft spot for him in my heart right next to Ashley, they were both written to be annoying for comedy's sake but came across as too unlikeable and a way for the creators to be creepy towards women. Well that's bullshit and I love Steve and I'm taking custody of him from Capcom

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc) Why do people wanna date Wesker???? Even when people make self-ship fics/art/headcanons/etc. it's always like "Wesker fucking ignores you and doesn't like talking to you in public or showing physical affection but rawdogs you in private" like wherrrrrre's the appeal???

20. part of canon you found tedious or boring I'm gonna not say a gameplay aspect because there's PLENTY of gameplay in RE I find boring lol I like puzzles as much as the next person but sometimes for me it's like eh no thanks. Anyway ngl Shadows of Rose for one big reason, and that's that it doesn't matter. You play the entire DLC, having an extremely watered down time when you could be playing mercenaries mode, and then once you finally get to the end you realize it was for nothing and the end is just the epilogue from the main game so what was the point of Rose's arc if it didn't matter? I can't stand sor

[shinidamachu]

Hi! I love following your meta and detailed analyses and I swear you had one somewhere about the actual chapters/instances that had InuKik in the manga as compared to the anime but I can't find it :( Did I imagine it? (Why I'm asking is I'm writing one of my fics IWFA and I had someone ask me why I write InuKik the way I do and I was about to say cuz in the manga they give off the impression of being distant like that. Then I second guessed myself and wanted to reread the parts... anyway I blab.

Hi! Thank you so much! This means a lot because I do love writing meta. Unfortunatelly, I don't think I made the post you're looking for.

I'm still in the process of reading the manga and even though I use a panel here and there to make my points across, I refrain from going into deep, side by side comparisons because I feel like smarter people than me have already done it to exhaustion. And with a level of coherence I can only dream to achieve.

One of these people is definitely @inukag so maybe you'll have more luck asking her? If Cynthia didn't wrote it, she's still your best shot at figuring out who did.

And for whatever is worth, I think your interpretation of manga Inukik is actually pretty spot on. In fact, I'd go even further and say that anime Inukik was almost just as distant. The difference is that at least Sunrise tried to give them some substance, which in my opinion didn't work at all, since it butchered their characterization (Inuyasha's especially) by omitting very important scenes and adding meaningless fillers that in my opinion only made more obvious how superficial their relationship really was.

To me, love is something you build and trust is the foundation in which you're building on. To trust — and consequently to truly love — takes time. On top of that, a strong relationship requires efffort, honesty and fully acceptance from both parts, none of which I believe Takahashi or Sunrise showed us.

Boat dates under the sunset and passionate kisses are just bells and whistles. Yes, it looks great on screen, but it doesn't necessarily equal to real love. Infatuation, sure. But love? It's easy to make you characters go on boat dates under the sunset. It's easy to make them kiss passionately. It's even easier for the writers, for the audience and for characters themselves to confuse it for love.

What's hard is to actually take the time to create, develop, test and expand a romantic connection. To show how deep it runs instead of just telling. To make it unfold and progress and grow stronger before our eyes. To make it dynamic rather than stagnant. Inuyasha and Kikyo didn't have that at all, be it in the manga, be it in the anime.

Their relationship was based on mutual loneliness, on seeing each other through rose colered glasses and of the fundamentally wrong idealization of the life they thought they'd have together.

That being said, here's my unsolicited advice: if you're anything like me, I can totally understand why you'd feel the need to try and defend your point of view, especially if the person asked you to explain it in good faith.

However, even if your interpretation of the Inukik relationship was way off — which, again, I don't believe it is — remember that you don't owe anyone an explanation for your writing choices, but you do owe it to yourself to write what feels right. It's your story to tell and you can tell it any way you see fit.

I know our takes on this matter aren't particularly popular within the fandom, but they are just as valid. I lost count of how many Inukag fanfics I've read where Inukik was written to be a much bigger thing than I personally believe it originally was, but even though I disagree with that interpretation, I'm also not entitled to an explanation other than... that's the author's vision. And that's okay.

The important thing was that people had fun and were proud of what they wrote. As they should, because it takes courage to post your stories online. And if I'm bothered by an specific story to the point of not being able to enjoy it, that's my problem and I should probably search for something closer to my own interests to read.

Anyway... I can't wait to read If We Fall Anyway. It has been on my to read list for a while now and I'm sure I'll love it.

[dramaqueeenamby]

𝐑𝐞𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐬 ♦︎ 𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝐷𝑎𝑟𝑘𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑔

Summary: He’d searched for centuries to find the sun summoner. What he never expected was for someone to uncover the sun within him. In which the darkling finds himself on a journey with a powerful Grisha who may just uncover the humanity trapped within.

A/N: So, prior to this, I hadn't written anything in literally two or so months. Consequently, this is rough. Like, hella. However, binging S&B on Netflix has reawakened my love of Ben Barnes and uncovered a love of the Darkling. He's an asshole, yes, but Amby loves her psychologically disturbed characters. Sue me.

I started just writing a few lines last week, and that has turned into over 15,000 words and 50 plus pages of content lagging up my google docs. It's pretty massive, and I've been working on ordering things so the timeline makes sense but honestly, truly, I'm writing this for me, to feed my latest fixation. I don't really expect anyone to read this, hence the lack of tags.

Also, I have never actually read the Shadow and Bone series (book 1 should arrive soon!), so my characterization of characters is based on my research and, largely, the series. Also, a lot of creative liberties. I apologize, again, in advance.

If for some strange reason, anyone would like to be tagged, just let me know, friends. Last thing, it's pronounced Muh-Lay-Nah. I didn't realize until I was like 3K in that the name sounds way too similar to Alina. I know. I'm trash.

Words: 2.2K // Pairings: The Darkling x OC // Warnings: None, yet.

Rewrite The Stars

Protocol is simple.

One either does or does not do something. It’s black or white. No shades of gray to cause confusion.

Typically.

That’s how it should be, at least, and for many, that is the case. Specifically, when dealing with the Darkling.

Never make eye contact, unless spoken to. Speak only when asked a question. Stand at attention at all times. And, of course, never raise your voice. That last one is critical.

Such are just a few of the rules when in the presence of the most powerful grisha to ever live. Countless additional rules are created naturally, but the underlying theme for all is constant: don’t upset him.

Some have dared. Very few have lived.

One might even be considered a repeat offender.

Milena Belarus.

Her name is one known across the lands, but in Ravka, she’s synonymous with one thing: power.

A Grisha with the ability to manipulate fire, inferni, wind, squaller, and perhaps the most dangerous of them all, the heart, heartrender. Never in recent times has a grisha been able to balance multiple gifts, but Milena was no normal Grisha. She was also immortal, having lived over a hundred years, while still appearing as though she was in her mid twenties.

Milena was also known by another name to others: Lieutenant Belarus, second in command of the second army.

It was a role she prided herself on, as she should. It was one of the highest positions a Grisha could attain and an enormous privilege to work directly with the General.

The Darkling.

And thus, where the shades of gray developed.

A few things called many to question, though never aloud, just what exactly the relationship between the Lieutenant and General’s constituted. The first question was raised when Milena first arrived at the Little Palace. A traumatic childhood that constituted loss, hiding her abilities, and forever moving around to avoid persecution caused her to start late in her training.

But when she did, when it was discovered that she was different from the others, the General took her training upon himself, teaching her one on one. She would still train with the other grisha at times, but the private lessons were strange.

The General never trained anyone.

Though, it was argued that Milena was no average Grisha, she was powerful, more so than the others, and that caught the General’s eye.

Then the Keftas. One day, Milena arrived to a Grisha dinner in a black kefta.

No one, aside from the Darkling, had ever worn black.

It was always implied law that the color was reserved for him. Up until that point, at least. Again, though, it was argued that Milena’s power granted her privilege. A lot of privilege.

The most notable one, however, was based upon daily interactions between the general and his lieutenant. She would never outwardly challenge him, but Milena would also never refrain from holding her tongue, especially if she did not agree with his decision.

And that had happened on a couple of occasions.

“Do you really think this the best course of action?”

Her question caused all eyes to land on her, including his, not that she paid that any mind. Her only concern was the wellbeing of her brethren.

She matched his gaze, eyes never leaving his. Stillness overtook the room, no one dared say anything. “You disagree.” It wasn’t a question.

“It’s dangerous.”

“We are in war, lieutenant. Everything is dangerous.”

“But not everything needs to result in casualty.” She took it upon herself to move around the war table, adjusting the pawns used to represent their army. “No matter which way we go, we face ambush, but it is the timing of the ambush that makes the difference. The Fjerdans travel in the evening to restock supplies, ammunition. The path will not be as heavily guarded--”

“Yet still dangerous.”

She smiled at him, mischief dancing in her eyes. “We are in war, General. Everything is dangerous.”

The meeting was dismissed shortly after.

Rarely did Milena openly disagree with the General, but the frequency wasn’t what mattered, it was that it happened at all that surprised most.

How could one so easily risk facing the wrath of the Darkling?

And yet, no one had ever witnessed such a thing. No one even knew if it happened, if the General had ever even penalized her for such insolence. It was doubtful, though. One need not be chastised more than once to know not to upset the Darkling.

There were also whispers, rumors even, of Milena seen entering the General’s chambers and not leaving till morning.

And vice versa.

Though for all the thoughts and speculation, neither the General or Lieutenant ever confirmed or denied anything. And most were inclined to believe the leniency granted to Milena was solely based upon respect of her power, her leadership, and her role among the grisha.

She was special and necessary.

In more ways than most realized.

-------

“Me?” Milena was dumbfounded. “He wants to meet me?” Even saying it aloud felt strange. “Why?”

Genya stopped in the middle of digging in her kit, turning to offer an exasperated expression. “Must you really ask that?”

Milena rolled her eyes and stood up from her seat. This was no time to be sitting. “Grisha come here all the time, do they not? What makes me so different?”

“I don’t know, perhaps the fact that you possess the abilities of an inferni, squaller, and a heartrender?” It was sarcastic, no need for a response. “Until now, no one thought that possible. General Kirigan included.”

Milena quieted, focusing her questions toward herself rather than the Tailor sent to prepare her for her meeting with the Black General. She knew that getting out of the meeting was not an option, but that didn’t stop her from thinking about it. She’d heard rumors about the leader of the Grisha, none of them necessarily bad, especially if you were a Grisha, but almost all of them gave her pause. She always had a difficult time holding her tongue, something that often got her in trouble. Would this meeting also bring her trouble?

She knew, very much so, that that depended on her.

“There.”

Milena was so consumed by anxiety and teetering panic that she hadn’t even realized Genya had directed her back to her chair and finished her work. She looked into the mirror and sighed. As of recent, she was finding it harder and harder to recognize her own reflection.

Whoever that was, anyway.

Picking which color Kefta she donned also proved harder than what it should have been. For most Grisha, it was a no brainer, their color was determined by their gift. Milena, though, had options. She eventually decided on the Kefta of the Heartrenders, as it was the ability she’d relied on the most in order to survive.

Every day, Milena seemed to discover new sections of the Little Palace, it’s size even more massive upon exploring the internal, despite the grandiose magnanimity seen from the outside. Today, she discovered the wing of the palace belonging to the Black General.

Whether intentional or not, she couldn’t help but notice the darkening of the decor and dreary coloring the closer they got to his chambers. Once they were outside of his door, she noticed the guards that escorted her stepped back immediately after offering a single knock.

Silence.

She looked from side to side and spoke without thinking. “Are you sure he heard you?”

Seconds later, the door opened and Milena stilled, her spine naturally straightening while her gaze dropped to the floor, though she could feel his eyes burning into her. “He did.” She contemplated looking up but decided against it, for once, keeping her mouth shut. “Leave us.”

A small sense of panic rose as she looked to watch the guards turn and walk in the direction they’d came, leaving her alone.

“Come,” he spoke so calmly, yet she could detect the demanding undertones, leaving no room for argument. “Please.” It was a forced pleasantry, for sure.

Eyes still downward, she waited for him to move to the side, and even then she hesitated but realized she was only delaying the inevitable.

Upon entering, Milena lifted her head, taking in the massive room, the dark decor and equally dark color schemes even more prominent than the path leading to his chambers.

“What is your name?” She swallowed, hearing his footsteps grow closer. He was directly behind her.

“Milena.” Milena’s fingers straightened over the soft material of her Kefta. “Milena Belarus.” Her heartbeat quickened again when he brushed past her, moving from behind her to in front of her. Against her better judgment, she allowed herself to look up.

Saints.

Out of all of the rumors, whispers, and stories that she’d heard, none of them included that the Black General was, well, handsome. Sharp and dark features, raven black hair neatly slicked back, and eyes as dark as the abyss his powers commanded. His entire aura and presence emanated power and authority. She could see why his name alone struck fear throughout the lands.

Milena realized she was staring when his brow lifted, though she got the feeling it wasn't because he was upset with her. Rather, intrigued.

“And just what are you, Ms. Belarus?”

She was quiet. Such a short question with infinite possibilities. Up until a few weeks ago, she was nobody, a Grisha hiding among the mass to avoid persecution. Now, she trained and dwelled in a palace with luxuries she never knew existed. Her own reflection seemed like a stranger these days. Did that seem like someone who was in tune with their identity?

So, she answered honestly.

“I don’t know.”

If her answer surprised him, he didn’t show it. He simply moved so he was leaning back against his desk, eyes focused keenly on her. “Are you not Grisha?”

“Well, yes, but--”

“But, what?” Milena looked up again. She recognized the mockery in his tone, and it irked her. She was being honest, and he was being condescending. It was all so unnecessary.

Still, she maintained composure. “I’m not like most Grisha.”

“So, I’ve heard.” The irritation dissipated. Slightly. “Show me.”

She wasn’t expecting that. “Sir?”

“Show me.” He repeated his command, slower, firmer. There was no room for argument.

Despite her garment and in contrast to her preferred method of assault, she realized directing an attack on the leader of the Second Army was far from wise. So, she searched the room and noticed a cracked window on the opposite side. Shutting her eyes and lifting her hands, she focused and directed the wind in that direction, forcing both completely open.

He nodded, unimpressed. “And?” She looked at him, protocol damned. He’d invited her. Surely, he did not expect her gaze to remain on the floor the entire time. “Is that all?”

Irritated, she easily transferred that anger into a sizable ball of flames dancing in her hand. He looked semi impressed, walking up to her, merely inches away. She collapsed the flames. “And finally?”

At that, she hesitated. As a Heartrender, she could do many things, but the most common was an attack of a deadly nature. Of course, she could stop before it reached the level of fatality, but truly, who wanted to risk that with the Darkling?

Milena then looked back at him and stilled. He was smirking, amusement twinkling in his eyes. “You think you can hurt me.” It was an accusation, one she was prepared to defend when he spoke again. “I assure you, you can’t.”

This time, her eyes narrowed. He certainly was living up to his vile reputation. What an arrogant prick. Focusing, she moved her arms, straightened in his direction, her hand landing on his chest. She didn’t realize just how close he was. Opening her eyes, she realized his eyes were shut, evident discomfort in his face. He was feeling the effects of her speeding up his heart. However, Milena noticed the room was gradually darkening, shadows creeping up the walls, swallowing the light shining from the window.

She quickly lowered her arms and backed away, breathing suddenly uneven.

His eyes fell on her again, displeasure evident. “Why did you stop?”

She frowned. “Why would I not?”

“You have power. Great power.” He stepped forward, Milena naturally inching back. She’d upset him. “And yet, you hold back.”

Milena tried. She truly had. She’d fought so hard to hold her tongue but between the taunts and the gaslighting, she’d had about enough. “I didn’t realize you wanted me to kill you. Perhaps you should have made that more clear.”

Surprisingly, he was unfazed by her flippancy. “I want you to stop being afraid.”

“I’m not afraid of anything.” He said nothing, Milena realizing she’d stepped toward him this time, eyes flaming with determination. “Or anyone.”

Had she been looking instead of diverting her gaze to avoid his judgment, she would have seen the faintest hint of a smile playing upon his face. “We shall see, Ms. Belarus. We shall see.”

[leapyearkisses]

For the director's cut: Could you do Nice Work If You Can Get It? (Eliseo/Padgett)

That fic... Changed me. I'll never forget it TBH.

Yes, I'd be happy to! This one was really fun to write, and it was the beginning of two OCs I am very fond of now (and who I am happy to know made an impression on quite a few people!).

(If anyone enjoys this director's cut thing and wants to see one for another of my stories, ask away. I had a lot of fun!)

Commentary in bold below the cut! NSFW, mess, deliberately sneezing on people, m/m

This story started from a prompt about one character hiring someone to get them sick. An intriguing idea!! But it was one I actually struggled with finding a groove for when I started out. I actually started a few different scenarios with different character dynamics before I figured this one out. I have a 2600-word WIP of a different version of this in my "unfinished" folder.

"All right... close your eyes." Eliseo swallowed and did so, blocking out his bedroom, the red-gold sunset light pouring in from the windows, and Padgett, who was straddling his hips. He could still hear, quite easily, the other man's labored breathing and feel the heat of his thighs... and his crotch. Eliseo was under no illusion that he was in an incredibly compromising position at the moment. He hadn't thought much about the.. particulars when he'd first decided to strike this deal. "Are we really doing this?" he asked, voice weak.

I can't really write fetish porn without including actual porn lol, so from the beginning it was sexy even without the snz. In this version, the POV character is Eliseo, who is the "naive" character in a way. I pretty much write pairs where one character has the fetish and their partner does not but is indulgent. The one with the fetish is usually embarrassed about it or somehow naively realizing they like this weird-ass thing. Padgett laughed, voice tumbled and edging on hoarse. "Hey now. Not getting cold feet are we, my lord?" His exhale ghosted over Eliseo's forehead and his tousled black hair touched Eliseo's cheek.

Padgett is the confident character, and he brought the humor to this scenario! Eliseo cleared his throat. "No..." He could imagine the other man's smug look. They'd known each other long enough now that the image rose unbidden to his mind's eye. Padgett's eyes always glittered like opals when he was scheming something. Padgett surprised him with a tender touch on the shoulder, and he almost opened his eyes again. "The safe word is 'pumpernickel,'" he said, managing not to chuckle. "We can stop whenever you want... Hhk-" He fought off a gasp. "Decide hh quickly, though." Eliseo shivered. "I'm okay. Let's do it." He didn't want to admit it, but Padgett's reassurance did put him at ease, even if this had been his idea. He relaxed and tried to lose himself in the late afternoon heat. "Yehh-s, my lord." Padgett leaned forward and took a shaky breath. It stuttered and caught on invisible hooks, sounding at once to be full of potential and then gone again, like a ghost at the window. Eliseo could feel his body tightening again with anticipation, especially when Padgett gasped and leaned back. "Hh-... hah--

"A ghost in the window" eehhh this is kind of overworked. I like to write descriptively even when it isn't necessary. "Huh-ktschht!" A warm rush of air burst in Eliseo's face, almost immediately followed by a watery spray over his forehead, closed eyes, and nose. His instant reaction was to curl back, or try to, and he had his hands braced on Padgett's chest before he could think about it.

I had never written anything quite this scandalous as it were. There hadn't been a lot of snzfic I had read where there was direct, purposeful contagion like this or quite so much mess description directly on the skin, the face even. So I was sweating while writing this lol. "Hey now," said Padgett, delayed by a sniffle. His tone was light. "Easy. You specified this in the contract, remember?" He rested his hands lightly on Eliseo's wrists. "How are you feeling about it?"

CONSENT IS THE SEXIEST THING. We get this instinctual edge of revulsion from Eliseo because he has not acknowledged to himself that he likes snz yet and also he has never allowed anyone to do this to him before because why would anyone do this? Eliseo found he was holding his breath, but- Well, that would defeat the purpose of this exercise. He cautiously let it go and then opened his eyes. Padgett was gazing down at him, looking neither smug nor concerned, just curious. "I- this was on instinct," Eliseo murmured. After a beat, he lowered his hands, and Padgett let him go easily. "Yes, I imagine so. It's natural." Padgett smiled then, and then his expression crinkled. "Wh- hh- want to do it again? Hkt-- hhh..." Eliseo forced himself to surrender again to his pillows. "Yes." Again, he closed his eyes. Padgett shifted forward on his lap and oh- but then he was sneezing one more. "Huh- hktsschit!" Again, the spray. This time it dusted over Eliseo's nose and mouth. He fought to keep from thinning his lips and... took a deeper breath. Padgett hadn't moved, was still fighting with his own lungs, reeling in another insistent sneeze like a stubborn trout. "Huh- hh... hh hh huh-" He made an annoyed sound. "Hah-- hah-krttschtts!" Eliseo felt droplets of saliva decorate his cheekbone. Padgett sniffled thickly.

I think artists often point out how funny it is that when they're drawing they mimic the face of the character. I do this with sneeze sounds (IF I'M ALONE). I tend to like softer sounds for my characters, so a lot of sibilance creeps in. "...Bless you," Eliseo murmured. He was feeling hot. Maybe it was Padgett on top of him. The man was running a fever. "You are... doing the job admirably." That earned him a laugh. Padgett shifted his weight to his heels, which did interesting things to his cock's relation to Eliseo's own. "Thanks, I guess? I never would have thought anyone would be hiring for this, much less you." "Circumstances are dire," Eliseo intoned without a hint of irony.

Eliseo is a card. I love him. Of the two of them he is much more my preferred "type." He is similar to my mage character Llewellyn but less fussy. "Mmhm." Padgett sniffled again. "You must really hate weddings. Couldn't you have just gone on a hunt or something this weekend instead?" Eliseo sighed. "No. My sister would do anything to ruin my plans if I tried to avoid the party any normal way. But luckily, she's terrified of germs. I think a miserable head cold will be the ticket." Like hell he wanted to sit through another of his sister's weddings. Every time it was some new, world-changing drama. He wasn't even sure whether the groom this time was noble born. No doubt the reception gossip would be scathing. What absolute drivel.

There's a little "my lord" up there before, but this is kind of where the setting is characterized - Eliseo is a noble and this is a time and place where nobility matters. However, it's also anachronistic, because germ theory is a thing. They're kind of in a pseudo Regency/Victorian world where I just write whatever feels like the most fun. "Lucky also that you have me around, hm?" Padgett's next chuckle turned into a bit of a cough. Eliseo patted his knee awkwardly. "I- well, yes. Very. But believe me when I say that I would not wish for you to be so stricken if I had the power to stop it."

People with shitty immune systems are my jam. Even if it's really unlikely, I love it. Sometimes especially if it's unlikely. Like mister high elf Llewellyn, or if they're a god or angel or something. Or in a world where if you had that bad of an immune system you probably would have died of diphtheria or pneumonia by now. "Of course, my lord." Padgett rubbed his nose. And though his breath hitched a few times in the following moments, he stayed where he was. Eliseo blinked. "Are we...?" Done? He didn't really think the exposure had been long enough. "I am ready." Padgett blushed a little. Blushed? "Sorry," he said. "I can kind of feel that, uh, the uh, next ones are going to be kind of... wet. I could blow my nose." His voice trailed off, wavering again. His nostrils twitched, and Eliseo did see within the promise of moisture. Perhaps it was the taboo of it, but Eliseo was alerted instantly to a sudden thickening of his cock. It pressed at his trousers with some gusto as Padgett sniffled again. Eliseo swallowed. "No. No, this is good. This will... help."

After consent, MESS is the sexiest thing. That's just how it goes. I don't make the rules. Padgett gave him a considering look, at least as well as he could between soft gasps and squinting against the itch in his nose. "If you're sure, my lord." "Just- call me Eli, like you used to," said Eliseo, stumbling over the words. He wasn't sure where they had come from, but now they were bare between them. Still, perhaps a bit of affection wasn't so odd compared to what they were already doing. Eliseo closed his eyes on Padgett's startled look.

I wasn't sure where this came from either. But suddenly they were in love and I was cool with it. Eli btw is pronounced like the name (Ee-lye) but Eliseo is pronounced Ell-ee-zay-oh in my mind. It's of Latin origin and means "God is my salvation" according to that authority Babynames.com lol. Padgett means "attendant" so that was chosen partially because he's Eliseo's employee but also because Padgett is just a SUPER English-sounding name. I really enjoy looking up name meanings and representing different traditions in my characters. I tried to give Eliseo's family members Latin names, too, although they're not mentioned here. "Eli," Padgett said, and he sounded like he'd just come home from a long war to find the hearth kept warm for him. "I will." He leaned forward again, bracing himself. "Now, I'm going to- to hih-- to snhhsneeze, hah-- haktschtsch! Hrh- Hnkgstschhiu! More spray this time, more wetness, and Eliseo gasped himself when he felt a thick drip against his chin. Padgett hadn't moved. When Eliseo tentatively looked up, he saw his friend caught in a limbo of urgency. His green eyes were shut, eyelashes fluttering. His nostrils, gently pink now, flared. A clear trail hung from one of them, quivering as Padgett panted. He looked wild and fever bright and teetering on a precipice. Eliseo ignored what it might mean that Padgett's desperate expression, his wet nose - even the mess - suddenly went to his cock. He was hard, looking up at a portrait of a sneeze.

Sometimes you just have to stop writing for a second and drink some cold water or something. Carefully, he placed a hand on Padgett's thigh. "It's okay," he said, words coming of their own accord. "I've got you." Padgett's fingers tightened fitfully in the sheet as he shifted his weight again. He was making soft, irritated noises. His nostrils flared and Eliseo saw another drip lying in wait on the cusp.

Fingers tightening fitfully in a sheet is a thing I love to describe. If you binge-read everything I've written, you will find that I write snz and sex in a very particular way over and over. Because that's what I like! And I'm super glad readers like it as well! But I can basically only find the motivation to write what I enjoy (when I write at all... .__.), which is why I only write m/m or nb characters and such. When the urge became too much, it was like watching a wave finally crash down. Padgett's breath caught; he tensed and leaned back. Eliseo hurriedly closed his eyes again, and none too soon. "Hhhhrektschuckh!" He felt the mess streak his face, fly to spatter his mouth and nose and chin. Padgett moaned and then gasped again, chest swelling with air.

SCANDALOUS "Hah- Huhrttschuh! Hshtt! Hah- hsshtt!" Again, he teetered, teasing the air with shivering gasps. Then, he abruptly folded with a crush of vowels and congestion. "Hggtschiucht!" A baptism, pondered Eliseo's brain as it detached from reality momentarily. Pinned as he was to the bed by Padgett's sex, he couldn't move when he felt himself coming just as abruptly as the sneeze. Somehow the slick wash had become a mounting sense of urgency in each of his muscles, racing from his fingertips and toes to his abdomen, where, quite unbidden, his cock had tugged all that energy into a gut-wrenching orgasm that sent the shockwaves back out with renewed vigor. Padgett whined, and Eliseo took him firmly by the shoulders and drew him in for a messy, off-putting, contagious, blindingly good kiss. "Wow," said Padgett, when they finally broke for air.

Wow, lol. I have a great imagination. I wish I could make myself write more often. "Don't ask me why," Eliseo muttered, but he refused to be made a fool of by embarrassment. "C- come here." He shifted to sit up further and put his hands on Padgett's hips. "I want-" He wanted. "This. Yes?" Before he could stop himself, he swept his tongue over Padgett's mouth, under his nose, to rest at the edge of a nostril. He tasted salt. It was not entirely pleasant, but whatever pilot was captaining his body right now didn't care. He could still feel his cock pulsing against his trousers.

Also the first time I wrote anything like this, but Eliseo was like go big or go home, so. Padgett moaned. "It feels... odd. But, my lord, you can do what you- I mean, Eli." He was breathless for different reasons now. Eliseo laved the tender skin above Padgett's lips, then licked up his septum. When Padgett shivered, Eliseo kissed him again. Slowly, he cleaned away the mess from Padgett's face. When he was finished, neither of them knew what to say. Eliseo was hard again.

Huahaha Eliseo can have an unrealistic refractory period. I don't really give a shit how accurate this stuff is when it would get in the way of the enjoyment. Not to the point where people are just going in without lube or something crazy like that, but being willing and able to go again is just sexy, so that's fine. Finally, Padgett laughed shyly. "I think you'll be catching your cold, Eli." Eliseo blushed and shrugged. "I should hope so. I am-" He bit his lip. "I'm not ready to stop. Will you stay the night? I'll look after you." Padgett kissed him, tenderly drawing them together. "I would like that, very much."

And then they DEFINITELY banged. I hadn't conceptualized their specific history together at this point, but Eliseo and Padgett were FWB while younger, so the "surprise" at meeting again like this in a sexy fashion is more like "Oh, are we doing this now, as adults with drastically different social standing?" and less "Hey, are you into me??"

I got more than one request to write the direct sequel to this, but I dunno. I usually prefer one character in the pair to be the one who is sneezing, and writing Eliseo sick isn't as fun. Partially because I'm much, MUCH more interested in the shy/embarrassed/"voyeur" dynamic, so someone who gets off on their own sneezes really does nothing for me. I do have a WIP of Eliseo sick that is a direct sequel to Carriage Shenanigans, but I have no idea if it will ever get finished.

Thanks so much for the request for this very fun exercise!

[ectonurites]

so i read the big long young just us kon vs yja conner post. (amazing analysis btw) but i have another question about your thoughts on superboy as a character. So in the dc animated universe (that's over now but whatever) there's the Reign of the Supermen movie, and in that one Kon learns that Lex is his dad very very very early on. And since you said that you think Conner learning about Lex early was the biggest thing that changed it, I was wondering if you have thoughts on DCAU Superboy?

awh thank you! i am so pleasantly surprised people actually read that 

[link if u are only seeing this post and want to read the other one]

BUT AH YES THAT BOI i very nearly included a section on this version of him in the other post but decided not to just because it was. already nearly 6k words. however im glad you asked this because I DO have thoughts on him (sorry no pictures this time just words):

My ultimate thought regarding him is: the Reign of the Supermen movie managed to create a Superboy that the Lex reveal wasn’t anywhere near as big a deal for, compared to his other versions. Which I personally think was really cool to see!

This reveal having a smaller impact allowed him to maintain what was basically his 90′s comic characterization even after it, instead of going deep into broody tt 2003 territory or being anything like cartoon yj Conner.

Though, that now raises the question of why it has such a lesser impact

In this setting, he already had an association with Luthor from basically the moment he’s in the movie. Here, he is LexCorp’s Superman, rather than him partnering with Tana’s news station like in the comic (because they chose to understandably omit Tana. Also, trying to adapt the actual role Lex had in the comic version of this whole event would be a mess especially because this was during that era where Lex had like... faked his death, was pretending to be his own illegitimate son, had long hair, and was dating Supergirl? it was very weird, and understandably a movie adaptation wouldn’t wanna touch any of that with a 10ft pole. In general the Reign of the Supemen movie changed SO MUCH from the original comic, but I think did a pretty good job of integrating a lot of the spirit of the story into something new. I haven’t rewatched it since reading the comic though, so I might be looking through memory-fogged rose-tinted glasses, but I plan on doing so soon and will prob talk about it). 

Anyways, even before the actual reveal that Lex was also one of his DNA dads, Lex is out here acting like he’s Conner’s stage dad and... is literally in charge of him. Thus, even though obviously Lex still isn’t a great guy in this universe, it has nowhere near the same impact as finding out ‘renowned supervillain, that I have seen heroes go up against time and time again, is my dad!’ It’s more like finding out ‘oh my weird controlling boss is actually my dad?’ Still weird, still a lot to deal with, and he still gets sulky for a bit after finding out, but it’s way less drastic.

Not sure if I’m going to be able to articulate this next point well, but there’s another thing I think that kinda factors into it too. In my other post I had talked specifically about how not only the timing of finding this out was relevant, but also how the level of confidence Kon had in who he was as a person at the time mattered. 

In the comics, when Superboy found out, he had been very confident in himself and been an established hero for years and thus learning this new information made him (to some extent at least) feel like his whole life had been a lie, and he now felt he was a danger because of how evil Lex is known to be. [Also of note: not only was he worried about hurting his team, but this happened after the point where he’d started living with the Kents. He had a lot of anxiety around thinking Clark wouldn’t trust him to live with his parents if he knew, and fear that he might hurt them.]

In the Young Justice cartoon, when Superboy found out, he had confidence in his abilities as I said before, but he still didn’t really know who he was. He still never got to experience trying to be Superman like he had expressed always wanting to, because he was brought into a world that already had a Superman. So this revelation is just adding onto a pile of confusion. [And I believe (I haven’t watched season one of yj in a while so this might not be correct) that at the point he finds out, Lex was already a known adversary of heroes & The Team themselves. So the fact that someone they were actively going up against had a connection to him (and was manipulating him through the patches) was a point of concern.]

Then we look at movie Superboy. He’s cocky and pretty confident in himself and his abilities, and was getting to shoot his shot at filling that Superman role right away, just like his comic counterpart. But he doesn’t go years believing a lie about himself, since he finds out about the Luthor connection so early. At the time of the reveal he also doesn’t have the same connections to other people (either the Teen Titans & The Kents like the comics or The Team in the cartoon), meaning he’s not going to angst over being a potential danger to all of them. 

Also... he finds it out while he’s still actively working under Lex. In the comics, he finds out from an email he and Tim get while they’re at Titans Tower. In the cartoon Lex baits him to meet somewhere alone to tell him, before demonstrating he has a code word that effects him. In the movie, Lex brings him down to the very lab he was cloned in while lecturing him, because he works for Lex, and the reveal happens because of one of the scientists. It’s just such a wildly different circumstance for the reveal to happen under, because movie Superboy doesn’t see Lex through the same “only exists to me as a villain” lens his comic & cartoon counterparts do.... he’s basically just his overbearing boss at the time. 

Like yes this is where the seams start to unravel, because Superboy then realizes ‘oh god Lex was bringing me down there to kill me then just decided against it’, but he’s going through an entirely different struggle with that than what his other counterparts had going on. Also by having this reveal happen in the middle of the movie like, before the final battle and everything, he doesn’t really have time to dwell on all of this. He’s gotta go stop Cyborg Superman with the others he doesn’t have time to go ‘angst angst angst’ about it for long!! 

This also means that by the time he met Superman, Superboy already knew about the Lex connection. In both the comics and the yj cartoon, Clark and Conner met and knew each other (not necessarily in a close way in the yj cartoon BUT regardless) before Conner found this out. Meaning it was something that he kept a secret from Clark for a period of time, as it ate away at him. But here, since he finds out before Clark is even active and alive again, it’s not something he ever needs to hide! Like he deadass tells Lois about it the first time he sees her after he found out. 

SO to summarize, the Lex reveal is way less drastic for this version of Conner because:

Superboy and Lex had a completely different dynamic at the time of the reveal than any other versions 

Superboy in this setting didn’t have as many connections to others/wasn’t on a team at the time he found out, meaning there were less people he’d be concerned about putting in danger

Superboy never felt the need to keep this a secret from anyone for any extended period of time 

Honestly I would have loved to see more things with this Superboy because it puts him in this unique position of having already faced this big challenge (dealing with Lex being a DNA dad) but not letting it bring him too deep into the angst, he’s not hiding it from anyone, he can just kinda... exist as himself! But noooo Apokolips War had to. Do that. that whole thing. 

[thebluelemontree]

Is it wrong to say that Sansa uses an out of sight out of mind coping mechanism? I noticed it because it's what I do a lot. I know some ppl say she rewrites traumatic memories to make the memories bearable but it doesn't make sense. If that was how she coped, wouldn't she have been telling herself lies about Joffrey still in acok? Or found a way to erase/rewrite Marillion's attempt to rape her?

Yes and no. She does that except all the times she doesn’t. ;) I think that characterization is extremely reductionist (and ignores character complexity and  growth) when it’s applied that broadly to every situation Sansa has been in. You have to take these things instance by instance because they aren’t all the same. Sometimes that labeling doesn’t fit at all. In many cases, it feels more like the fandom pathologizing the act of romanticizing or trying to push aside or reframe something unpleasant or even traumatic when that’s just something most human beings do now and then. Some do it more than others, but its all within the realm of typical coping behavior and being older or more educated or more “logical” doesn’t make one immune to it. So I hope you don’t let those interpretations make you feel abnormal or more fallible for identifying with Sansa in that way. Romanticizing doesn’t even have to be about coping at all, but simply expressing desire through daydreams. People imagine being in idealized scenarios with crushes all the time.  

You also hit the nail on the head. Sansa just doesn’t go around making up false narratives about every objectively awful thing that happens to her. In fact, her actual responses to those moments can be a useful basis for comparison when we’re analyzing the unkiss, for example. Misunderstanding the unkiss is usually where a lot of these assumptions stem from. That’s a whole other can of worms in itself. The unkiss is just too long of a discussion to put here, so I just recommend this post as to the reasons why it isn’t about trauma and take a browse through my unkiss tag. It does bear repeating that Sansa factually remembers every scary thing that happened during the Blackwater and why it happened, indicating she has processed it honestly and critically, before any incarnation of the unkiss happens. The unkiss is a mismemory added on to the facts, which began as her being the actor that kissed him first. It’s not a lie to deny the facts or to excuse his behavior. It’s regrettable to her that Sandor was not able to be the person she could rely on to get her out of KL at that time. Nonetheless, this repressed desire is just so strong in her that it manifested in a kiss so real she could remember how it felt after the reality of his leaving KL for good sank in. 

Early AGOT Sansa tended to want to move past unpleasantness rather quickly. Just sweep those red flags under the rug so everything can go back to blissful harmony. Sansa is naturally averse to conflict and just wants her present with the royal family to be smooth sailing into a bright future. Ned had a very similar tendency when it came to concerns over Robert’s true character. He saw things that disturbed him, but he hoped and clung to his idea of Robert anyway. For Sansa, this resulted in some misplaced blame and rewriting events so she could deal with the aftermath. This is mostly seen in her processing the Mycah incident after Lady’s death and how her perception of all the characters involved shifted in varying ways. This is after she knew perfectly well what really happened, because Ned says Sansa had already told him the truth of what Joffrey did while Arya was still missing. However, it would also be unfair to completely chalk this up to Sansa’s idiosyncrasies. We have to put her flip-flopping in the context of the situation as well. She’s also experienced a gutting loss with Lady’s death and the fact that the first blow to her innocence was her father volunteering to put Lady down. She doesn’t have Catelyn to go to with her confusion and hurt, and Ned has largely been silent. She’s also still engaged to Joffrey through all this, this is still a patriarchy, there are political ramifications to speaking against a crown prince, and she doesn’t know how to deal with seeing such cruelty and vindictiveness in her future husband. Especially when he responded to her tender concern and wanting to help him with venom and hate. 

I mean, jeez, she’s 11. I don’t expect an 11 year old to understand how to identify the signs of emotional manipulation or see how this situation can escalate into domestic violence. Just because Sansa can’t articulate what is happening within her relationship with Joffrey, doesn’t mean she has blocked out any notion that Joffrey can turn his anger on her. Part of the reason she misplaces blame on Arya (and rewrites what happened) is because Joffrey turns scornful of Sansa for being a witness to his emasculating shame. He punishes her with the cold shoulder because she didn’t immediately take his side and pretended not to see instead. He regains power through making Sansa feel small and fearful of his moods. 

“He had not spoken a word to her since the awful thing had happened, and she had not dared to speak to him.” -- Sansa II, AGOT.

Sansa looked at him and trembled, afraid that he might ignore her or, worse, turn hateful again and send her weeping from the table. -- Sansa II, AGOT.

This is coming from someone who is supposed to love her and someone she will spend the rest of her life with. To fix things, she must be unequivocally on Joffrey’s side going forward or suffer the consequences, which we can see happening as her story completely flips over breakfast sometime later. This is not saying Sansa is fully exonerated from not supporting her sister when she needed her, but that it’s understandable how she arrived at this point. Even when things start to get really bad after Ned’s arrest, Sansa still holds out some hope that she can appeal to Joffrey’s (and Cersei’s) love for her to get him to be merciful. Is it really her fault she believed a part of Joffrey really loved her (and thus was reachable by her pleas) if he also heavily love bombed her and treated her like she was the most special girl in the world? Love bombing is a classic feature of the seduction phase leading up to abuse.  

So we can see Sansa does ignore truths and rewrite events sometimes and her personality is a factor; however, the context surrounding it matters a lot. Post Ned’s execution, Sansa does a full 180 regarding Joffrey and Cersei.

Sansa stared at him, seeing him for the first time. He was wearing a padded crimson doublet patterned with lions and a cloth-of-gold cape with a high collar that framed his face. She wondered how she could ever have thought him handsome. His lips were as soft and red as the worms you found after a rain, and his eyes were vain and cruel. "I hate you," she whispered. -- Sansa VI, AGOT.

Once she had loved Prince Joffrey with all her heart, and admired and trusted his mother, the queen. They had repaid that love and trust with her father's head. Sansa would never make that mistake again. -- Sansa I, ACOK. 

"A monster," she whispered, so tremulously she could scarcely hear her own voice. "Joffrey is a monster. He lied about the butcher's boy and made Father kill my wolf. When I displease him, he has the Kingsguard beat me. He's evil and cruel, my lady, it's so. And the queen as well." -- Sansa I, ASOS. 

There’s also her conscious efforts to push away thoughts of her dead family and Jeyne Poole, but she states why she does that. It’s traumatic, the tears start flowing uncontrollably, and she is desperately trying to avoid falling into another suicidal depression. Her survival in KL depends on her holding it together and appearing loyal and obedient to Joffrey. Mourning her loved ones would imply to Joffrey she is plotting treason. Besides, she knows that even if she did ask Cersei or LF about Jeyne, she has no reason to believe they’d do anything but lie to her face in a patronizing way. There’s no point being plagued with wondering what the truth might be when she can’t do anything about it. Still, she prayed for Jeyne wherever she might be. She genuinely thought Arya had made it to WF on the ship and was safe at least until she got word of her brothers’ deaths and her home being sacked by the Iron Born, though there was initially a touch of projection and fantasizing about Arya being free while she remains captured. As of Feast, she believes she is the last Stark left alive and she has no one but Littlefinger to help her. So while she is suppressing her grief, it’s done with good reason, and it’s not being replaced with any false narratives to cope. 

We also cannot ignore that her relationship to Sandor Clegane has instilled in her an appreciation for the un-sugarcoated truth now that she has experienced betrayal and injustice first hand. In his own way, he’s encouraged her to listen to her own inner bullshit detector. The rose-tinted glasses have become a lot more clear compared to where she started. This is a newly learned skill though, and her self-confidence has been wrecked by internalized verbal abuse. She’s also been left on her own to figure out people’s intentions by herself, which runs parallel to her mounting desperation to get out of KL as Joffrey’s violence escalates. Developing a touch more of a jaded, skeptical side does sometimes clash with her enduring idealism and faith in other people (like with the Tyrells). This struggle is not a bad thing. The goal isn’t to become as cynical as the Hound, but to arrive at an earned optimism that has been tempered by wisdom and practical experience.

Her situation with Littlefinger is much more challenging than anything she faced in KL. He moves her where he wants her to go with complex web of lies, manipulation, grooming, isolation, coercion, dependence, guilt and shame. Her safety and desire to go home are tightly bound to being complicit in his lies and criminal activities. She feels indebted to him for getting her out of KL, even though his methods push her past her boundaries and force her to compromise her moral integrity. The thing is, there are things Sansa does know about LF, but she doesn’t seem to be ready to try and put the puzzle pieces together. She’s not daring to ask probing questions about Lysa’s reference to the “tears” and Jon Arryn or about the possible dangers of Maester Colemon prescribing sweetsleep for Robert’s convulsions. While the subject of Jeyne’s fate is still one she doesn’t want to revisit, somewhere in her mind she does know LF took custody of her friend. If it feels like this is somewhat of a regression back to her early AGOT self, there’s probably some truth to that; however, it’s perfectly okay for positive character arcs to be an imperfect progress. There can be relapses, regressions, setbacks, missteps, and misguided actions. All that growth isn’t lost. Everything she knows is just stored in the back of her mind, not forgotten completely. The general trend line moves her toward successfully confronting Littlefinger with the truth when GRRM is ready to pull the trigger. She’s definitely aware of Littlefinger lying to her more than she lets on and she knows his help is not out of the kindness of his heart, but motivated by what he wants her to be to him. But it’s not like she has the option to go anywhere else, does she? She’s a wanted criminal with a bounty on her head and has no other friend or ally in the Vale she can trust with the truth of her identity. Confronting LF without any means of neutralizing his power over her isn’t the smartest thing to do when he’s shown her he can literally get away with multiple murders. Again, it’s not just her personality that makes her hesitant to pull back the veil and face the horrible truth head on. The outside forces pressuring her perceptions and behavior cannot be discounted either.    

[aspoonofsugar]

Johan, Tenma and Nina: “I am You and You are Me”

Hello anon!

Thank you for the ask!

In order to properly analyze Johan though, rather than focusing only on his relationship with Tenma, I think it is important to explore his relationship and foiling with Nina as well, so I hope you won’t mind if in this meta I explore her too.

As a matter of fact, I would say that Tenma, Nina and Johan are the three main characters of Monster and Nina and Tenma’s respective relationships with Johan are equally important to the final outcome and to define who Johan is.

I would also add that it has been a while since I read Monster and even if I will reread some parts for the meta, I am sure I’ll forget many details and subplots which might have added something to this analysis.

This meta will be divided into four sections.

- The first will explore the relationship between Johan and Nina/Tenma and how the picture books convey it.

-The second will say what Johan’s symbolical meaning is within the story.

-The third will be an analysis on who Johan really is (at least a hypothesis).

-The fourth will be a conclusion.

PICTURE BOOKS: TENMA AND NINA’S RELATIONSHIP WITH THE MONSTER

In order to better flash out the relationships between Johan and others I will use the picture books mentioned in the story. I have already talked a little of these books in this meta:

The pictures books which are shown in the series are all pretty important both for the themes and for describing the relationships among the three main characters.

When it comes to Nina and Johan’s relationship, the book which mostly describes it is The Nameless Monster.

In this book there are two nameless monsters who represent the twins. They go in different directions searching for a name i.e. an identity or who they are. This symbolizes how the twins have lost their memories and don’t have strong senses of identity because of their past. However, they reach two opposite solutions. On one hand, the monster of the East who symbolizes Johan possesses a young boy and takes his name. However, in order to stay into the boy’s body he starts killing all the people close to the boy. Basically he creates a situation where, despite him having a name, nobody can use it. This is because the monster’s identity doesn’t lie in a name, but in him accepting his lack of a name (so Johan must accept his past) and in building relationships with others. On the other hand the monster of the West who symbolizes Nina accepts that he is just a nameless monster. This fits with the fact that, ironically, while Johan is always called Johan by the other characters, Nina is called either Nina or Anna and both names are true. What is important is that Nina doesn’t let her past define herself as much as Johan and that she finally accepts it and is able to forgive Johan because of it. Interestingly, the parallels between the twins and the monsters stop when it comes to the ending. As a matter of fact in the book the boy kills the other monster and so he effectively becomes a nameless monster since he lost the only person who truly knew him. However, in the series Johan never kills Nina. She and Tenma become two people he ends up not killing and so they end up saving his life and they give him a personhood by the virtue of simply knowing Johan.

Other than the Nameless Monster, three other picture books are mentioned. They are The Man with Big Eyes and the Man with the Big Mouth, The God of Peace and A Peaceful Home.

In the current meta I will not consider the last one which is mostly about Bonaparta’s redemption (it is the one about an evil magician who goes to a village to steal from the people, but ends up helping them) and is thematically linked to the idea that humans can change. I will instead focus on the other three.

I have already shared some thoughts on the book The Nameless Monster above, so I will now focus on The God of Peace.

While The Nameless Monster is important for Nina and Johan’s foiling, The God of Peace is important for Tenma and Johan’s relationship.

It is clear that the plot of the story calls back to what happened to Tenma.

The God of Peace is a deity who tries his best to make everyone happy. What is more, he is characterized as a father figure since he gives names to the children:

However, at one point a kid called Johan gives the God a hat and the God uses a mirror for the first time. This leads to him seeing that his own reflection is a devil. He realizes that there can’t be peace with such a Devil and kills it and, in this way, kills himself as well.

This is a metaphorical representation of what happened to Tenma. As a matter of fact the story starts with this question:

Tenma decides that all lives are equal and this is why he saves Johan instead of the VIP he was ordered to operate. The result of this is literally Tenma’s rebirth as a doctor. He is glad of what he has done and with time he is able to build a hospital without corruption where lives are treated as equals. After ten years from the operation Tenma lives in a blessed world where everyone is happy and where acting in the right way only delivers good results. His second meeting with Johan destroys this illusion and shows that Tenma’s currently idyllic situation came at the cost of many lives, that his superiors died because he wished they did in front of a sleepy Johan and that if he had just gave in to the corruption of his superiors a “monster” would have died.

In other words, Johan forces Tenma to realize reality is more complex than what he would like and starts Tenma’s existential crisis. This crisis leads Tenma to doubt his own ideals (is it really true that all lives are equal? Wouldn’t Johan’s death mean a lot of others will be saved?) and to try to kill Johan multiple times. Symbolically Tenma killing Johan would mean that he gives up on his ethical code and on his mission as a doctor. It would mean that together with Johan Tenma would be killing a part of himself as well and it is this specific part of himself that has been helping so many people. In order to kill the Devil Tenma must also kill the God of Peace.

In other words, Tenma finds himself facing an impossible dilemma and in this dilemma lies the main theme of the series which is conveyed through the third picture book.

In The Man with Big Eyes and the Man with the Big Mouth, two men are offered to make a deal with the devil. The man with the big mouth accepts, while the man with the big eyes refuses. As a result, the man with the big mouth has a very enjoyable life, but towards the end of it he realizes his mistake and regrets his deal with the devil. Now, usually one would expect that the man with big eyes has the opposite destiny. He might struggle in life, but will finally be rewarded in the end. However, this is not what happens and in the end the man with big eyes is just as miserable as the man with the big mouth. He regrets not having made a deal with the devil and it is by that point that the devil returns:

After Nina hears this story she is asked this:

This is not by chance because this short-story perfectly conveys the apparently dead-end the characters are all facing.

They can either refuse to buy into the ideology that different lives have different values or accept it. If they accept it, they end up corrupted in a world which is sad and dark. However, even if they refuse it they must accept the existence of someone like Johan who openly challenges the ideas of justice and of empathy. So, what should they do? What does the story mean? What is the solution?

The short story conveys a pessimistic moral. There is no way out and in the end everyone will surrender to the devil and lose hope.

This vision is a nihilistic one and nihilism is linked to this:

It is the “vision of the doomsday” Johan keeps talking about. This scenery comes up numerous times:

The first scene is the scene you asked about. There Johan looks Schuwald in the eyes and asks him what he sees. In this scene the scenery of the doomsday does not directly appear, but Johan invokes it with his words since he describes a reality of solitude where only he and Nina existed and had no names. This is a reference to their lives starting with the Red Rose Mansion incident up until when they were found by Wolf. By this point the reader knows nothing and probably Johan too has fragmented memories, but he is talking about the Three Frogs incident where their mother gave Nina up to Bonaparta (a town out of a fairy-tale), the Red Rose Mansion massacre (many people died) and Nina and Johan’s journey towards the border (my other self and I held hands and walked...we were the only two people in the world...and we had no names). All of these experiences end up being summarized and artisticly conveyed in other moments through the imagery of the vision of the doomsday which represents the absolute end and nothingness.

Wolf (in the second scene) sees it before dying and calls it the land of the nameless.Having a name in the story is symbolic of having an identity and this means mostly that someone knows you. If nobody can’t call your name, then you do not really exist and there is no proof of your existence. Relationships with others define the person to an extent and the land of the nameless is a dimension where all these relationships are lost and the individual is alone in front of nothing. It is a place full of solitude. This landscape is symbolic of Johan’s mind and of his vision of the world.

Before going on, I will like to highlight one last thing about the picture books. I have mentioned that the book A Nameless Monster seems to be a reference to Johan and Nina’s relationship, while The God of Peace is a reference to the bond between Johan and Tenma. This is true and especially evident, but what is said in both books is true for both Nina and Tenma.

As stated above, for example, in the end Johan is saved because of his relationship with both Nina and Tenma and not just because of the one he has with his sister.

At the same time, what is said in The God of Peace is true also for Nina and not only for Tenma. After all, there is this:

Johan repeats the Devil’s gesture to both his sister and Tenma in different moments. Nina also states this:

This is a direct reference to what happens in the story since Nina claims she will kill Johan and then herself. How does the story of The God of Peace fit Nina and Johan?

It has to do with their opposite coping mechanisms.

On one hand Nina removes her most painful memories. This is why she has forgotten about the Red Rose Mansion and later on she forgets about Johan and her attempted murder of him. In this way she protects herself and her idea of being “pure” and “righteous” somehow.

This is coherent with Nina’s initial strictness about justice I have discussed here:

Basically, she goes from an idea of justice which is extremely strict and merciless to an idea of justice which is intertwined with empathy and which refuses death penalty. She is also a character who starts out not believing that a person can be redeemed and ends her arc by forgiving her brother and believing that even he can find redemption. This is her arc in a nut-shell and the chapter the Fifth Spoonful of Sugar touches all of these ideas.

And it is made clear in scenes like this:

Nina is scared that remembering her trauma will make her a monster. She needs to believe that she did not assist to any massacre and that, if she did, the event left no scar on her. This is obviously impossible and this is why when she remembers what happened she showcases an unusual violent side and even presents suicide tendencies.

On the other hand Johan attaches himself to the few memories he has and, because of his own frail identity, ends up accepting as his own even Nina’s past. Basically, Johan is so scared of losing that little sense of self that he has that he has made Nina’s memories his own.

It is telling that in the beginning both twins are so sure of their respective roles in the Red Rose Mansion case that they barely question them. Johan is sure to be the one who saw people die, while Nina is sure that she is the child who waited for Johan safely at home. This can suggest that the two siblings had developed specific roles in their dynamic and that, to be more precise, Johan was the one who took upon himself the role of protecting his sister and the role of a devil, while Nina took upon herself the role of victim and of being “pure”. In short, they have both uncounsciously embraced a narrative in order to survive. However, these roles are clearly too simplicistic to describe the complexity of the situation and of both siblings and Nina’s journey is also about realizing this.

In summary, Nina has been using a coping mechanism thanks to which she has been able to repress everything negative that happened to her. Her brother is the link to these events, so her quest to find him and to understand him leads to her uncovering her lost memories.

This is why the metaphor of the God of Peace and of the Devil fits Nina and Johan as it does Tenma and Johan. Both Nina and Tenma were able to live peaceful lives at the price of forgetting or not realizing the truth about Johan. Johan is in other words a Jungian Shadow to the both of them and this is why they can’t kill him without self-destroying.

To finish this section, let’s underline that the three picture books we discussed have all grim endings and that all these endings were negated or subverted by the main story. In the end Johan did not kill Tenma and Nina and so he could continue to exist and did not become a nameless monster. Nina and Tenma did not kill Johan and so they did not kill themselves. Finally the Devil’s tempation was avoided.

AN UNINTELLIGIBLE DEVIL: JOHAN AS AN UNCOMFORTABLE TRUTH

I don’t think that your struggle to understand Johan is by chance because all in all I don’t think Johan is a character made to be completely understood. Rather he is a character written to challenge both the readers and the characters to understand him. After all, the essence of Monster is the search for Johan. By this, I mean both the physical search for Johan since he needs to be stopped, but also the search of what made Johan Johan. Why is Johan the way he is? What motivates him? Was he born a monster or did he become one? And why?

The point of Johan is that there is no answer or maybe there are so many answers that it is difficult to find a definite one. This is why both Nina and Tenma in their investigations keep discovering things and offering answers only for those answers to be readily subverted.

For example, when Tenma discovers about Kinderheim 511 he believes that Johan has become who he is because of the ruthless mistreatment he received there. However, he soon realizes that even before that place Johan had already killed. That said, this does not mean that Kinderheim 511 had no effect on Johan whatsoever or that he is not a victim of that place. Johan is a victim, but the way he acts can’t be explained or excused with his victimhood.

Later on, Nina suspects that her brother has a double personality who forces him to commit crimes. However, this turns out to be false as well. This does not mean, though, that the lines Nina has read and which say “Look at me! Look at me! The monster inside of me has gotten stronger” are not true for Johan. They are and, even if Johan does not have any double personality, he still has an identity problem which is at the root of his behaviour.

Finally, both Nina and Tenma think that the root of Johan’s trauma is that he was given by his mother to Bonaparta, was brought to the Red Rose Mansion and assisted at the deaths of many people. However, even this explanation turns out to be false since it was Nina and not Johan the one who saw the massacre. That said, even in this case, their mother’s choice and the massacre at the mansion have had a huge impact on Johan, but not in the way everyone expects. What is more, even in that case, his behaviour can’t be excused and can’t be completely explained since Nina went through similar experiences and reacted differently.

In other words, to quote a character from another franchise:

In short, what is upsetting about Johan is that he does not let the characters or the readers find simple solutions and his presence brings up distressing truths. What is “evil”? How do you behave in front of someone who embodies the essence of evilness?

This is why Johan is clearly associated throughout the narrative to the idea of the Devil, while Tenma is clearly associated to the idea of God. Where Johan kills and destroys, Tenma helps and cures.

This is why their fight is symbolic of the battle between good and evil and at the same time, it can’t be solved with one killing the other. As a matter of fact Johan does not want to kill Tenma, but wants to kill what Tenma believes in. At the same time, Tenma killing Johan would mean the defeat of his ideals.

Basically, Johan is not a character easy to empathize with. Don’t get me wrong, people will surely empathize, but even in that case, I think they will mostly empathize with fragments of his story, rather than with the entirety of it and with all its contradictions. This is because he is written in a way which makes him difficult to process.

Maybe it is because of this that, in the end, the fact Nina and Tenma are finally able to empathize with Johan is something which turns out incredibly important for their development and the focus stays on them in those moments to the point that we never get to properly see Johan’s POV and how he reacts to this empathy. To be honest, we can’t even be sure that Nina and Tenma are right in their conclusions even if the story highly implies so. As a matter of fact Nina and Tenma’s moments of realization are moments which present Johan filtered through their own eyes and them finally understanding the “monster” lets them finally understand themselves.

In Nina’s case:

She arrives at the conclusion that if she had just forgiven her brother back then and probably seeked help, she could have avoided everything that happened later. She reaches the conclusion after seeing Bonaparta’s drawings, remembering the man’s words and remembering Johan’s tears in the past and imagining his present ones.

Once she reaches this understanding of her brother she is ready to forgive him and she actually wants to. Nina’s arc is great because it shows that forgiveness does not equal redemption. Sometimes there is redemption without forgiveness (like in Bonaparta’s case since it is implied Johan has not forgiven him), while sometimes there is forgiveness without redemption (Johan has done nothing to amend, but Nina still forgives him).

In Tenma’s case, his final understanding of Johan comes in the very last chapter and it is this:

I would like to highlight that this scene in itself is ambiguous. Is Tenma dreaming? Or is Johan truly talking with him? It is not clear, but in the first case we can say Tenma has finally understood the truth behind the mystery Johan is, while in the second case we have Johan finally opening up about what hurt him the most.

In both Nina and Tenma’s cases, it is important that their understanding of Johan is radicated in their understanding of themselves. Nina is Johan’s sister and so she must understand him as a sister, she must untie and solve all the ambiguities and misunderstanding of their relationship and uncover the past they share. Tenma is the doctor who saved Johan’s life and clearly Johan has laced on him as to a father figure, even if in a twisted way. Because of this, it makes sense that in the end he is the one who realizes how much his mother’s choice has affected Johan.

In other words, Johan is a mirror of both Nina and Tenma and his elusive nature is what keeps the story together thematically. The story asks what a monster is and if the answer were simple the story would not be so captivating.

In the end both Tenma and Nina “defeat” the devil, but they do so not by killing him, but by refusing his nihilistic logic. They have managed to free themselves from the devil’s constant tempation. Even if the life of the man with big eyes is difficult the only hope lies in fighting against evilness and injustice through a correct behaviour. If one leaves that path they will only suffer and lose themselves.

This is also why the final image is so powerful:

Johan disappears once again and we, as readers, can only hope he will use the second chance he was given in a positive way and not to start another cycle. That said, this is something we can’t be completely sure of as we can’t be sure of evilness completely disappearing from the world. What we can be sure of is that it is necessary to resist it.

“LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME! THE MONSTER INSIDE OF ME IS GETTING STRONGER!”: THE EMPTINESS BEHIND THE SCARY MONSTER

Let’s consider this:

This scene shows Wolf giving Johan his name and how he indeed was inspired by the Picture Book the boy had with him.

This is important because it shows how Johan’s identity ends up being strictly intertwined with those picture books. In a sense, Johan is the fruit of those books since he ends taking the name “Johan” used by different characters in those books, repeats the books’ lines in an obsessive way and even ends up unconsciously reproducing the stories in the real life. He does so by repeating specific lines and latching onto situations which resemble the ones he read in the books. For example, he identifies with the nameless monster of the books and tries to cope with the emptiness he feels inside by joining different families only to leave them and discard them once they are not able to fill the emptiness he feels. He identifies Nina as his other self, just like the Devil and the God of Peace of the books and repeats the devil’s lines to her. Once he finds Tenma aka an incredibly altruistic and selfless person who ends up saving his life he starts unconsciously replicating the same dynamic with him. He tempts people and manipulates them like the Devil of The Man with Big Eyes and the Man with the Big Mouth. It is actually interesting that Johan ends up always identifying with the devil instead than with other characters, but this can be partially explained by the fact that devils and monsters are the most recurrent characters in the books. This might be why Johan aka a child with a very frail sense of self ended up projecting on them specifically as characters appearing often and being constant. This might also be why he specifically latched on the name Johan which is often used in the books. In general, he develops a vision of the world which is pessimistic and nihilistic and which is the one conveyed by the book he was taught to study and to read.

This is important because in this way Johan becomes the heir of Bonaparta’s vision before his change of heart, while Nina who was shown a glimpse of love and of hope becomes the heir of Bonaparta’s ideals conveyed in A Peaceful Home.

What is interesting is that Johan’s emulation of the picture books became so severe specifically because of him not having a strong enough sense of self hence his necessity to latch on to things and to other people to define himself.

This is made clear since when his mother had to choose one of her children over the other. In the end, one of the reasons why his mother’s choice left such a huge impact on him was because he was not sure that his mother really intended to save him instead of his sister. Behind this doubt hides the fear of not really existing as an individual and of simply being a part of a set to the point that even his own mother is not able to distinguish him from his sister. This is a feeling which could probably be born because of the horrific childhood he and Nina had. As a matter of fact they were not given names and were treated like weapons by the people around them. What is more, the twins only had each other when it came to important relationships between peers.

This frail sense of self combined with the very strong bond Johan has with his sister leads to him confusing her memories for his. When it comes to that, this is interesting:

This is a glimpse of what used to happen in Kinderheim 511 and it is shown that some experiments there damaged people’s memories. This might be why Johan lost his memories and why in an attempt not to forget his sister he ended up making her past his. All in all, it is not clear when exactly Johan started confusing his memories with hers and it might have been before Kinderheim 511, during it or even after Nina shot him. The point is that the scene above shows Johan’s strong wish not to forget the person whom he defined himself through and how this wish is at the root of him twisting his memories.

What is interesting is that throughout the years Johan started reproducing a series of crimes which can be connected to his own trauma and to Nina’s one. On one hand he started killing parental figures and eliminated all the people who cared for the siblings through their journey. This is a response to the betrayal he felt towards his mother who gave up on one of her children and later on left them both behind. On the other hand he started organizing massacres to emulate what happened at the Red Rose Mansion.

These repetitive actions give birth to a pattern Johan himself is unable to leave. He is trapped in his own past and so he keeps reproducing it together with the fairy tales he used to read as a child.

This behaviour underlines a contradiction Johan has. On one hand he wants to develop relationships with others and this is why he keeps searching for new parental figures. On the other hand he is not able to properly have relationships which are not manipulative or exploitative. All in all he is never able to make “the monster inside of him” rest. This restless monster who keeps getting stronger is not really his violent side, as Nina thinks at first, but it is nothing more than the emptiness he feels because he does not really understand who he is. He can’t give any meaning to his life and so he keeps searching for one, does not find it, accepts nihilism and repeats. In a sense, he fails in his search because he has already given up on it before starting it. He has already accepted the vision of the doomsday.

CONCLUSION: GOD, DEVIL AND HUMAN

This analysis showed how Tenma, Johan and Nina are all connected and how there is a constant foiling among all three of them.

1) Tenma and Johan represent respectively the “God” and the “Devil” meaning that their respective philosophies challenge each other and embody “goodness” and “evilness”.

2) Nina and Johan embody two opposite reactions to a traumatic past. Nina completely removed the bad things, while Johan stayed attached to them to the point that he made his even Nina’s. None of these reactions is completely correct and this is why Nina went through a painful journey of self-discovery to retrieve her memories.

3) Finally Nina and Tenma are two people who start parallel journeys to find Johan and end up saving each other in these journeys.

As a matter of fact Tenma saves Nina in the beginning when he saves Johan and prevents Nina from becoming a murderer, while Nina saves Tenma from the same fate at the end when she stops Tenma from shooting and encourages him to save her brother.

All in all, it is interesting that throughout their journey they both try to kill Johan, but are against the other doing it as if they could see clearly that this action would negatively affect them:

So, in a sense Nina and Tenma too are mirrors and they can see their own pain and confusion in the other.

This last point is interesting also when it comes to the teological motif concerning Tenma. As a matter of fact Tenma represents God within the story, but at the same time his struggle and indeciveness are incredibly human. He never loses himself, but he is about to many times. So Tenma is both “god” and “human”. We can also say that he is a specific ideal incarnated in a human who has to face the fact that this ideal is not so easy to follow and to apply in the human world with all its contradictions. This is also true because of society incarnated by Lunge (a justice blind to the truth) and Eva (the corruption within society). It is not by chance that because of these two characters Tenma ends up becoming a suspect and is persecuted by society when he himself is trying to protect it. In a sense, Johan is able to act so freely precisely because he acts in Tenma’s shadow. Tenma ends up being Johan’s opposite when it comes to his relationship with others because while in the end very few people are left knowing about Johan, a lot of people know Tenma’s name. These relationships (or lack of in Johan’s case) are for both characters double edged swords. On one hand Tenma is initially suspected because of his relationships with others. For example his relationship with his superiors and with Eva puts him in a bad light. He is a man with positive and negative bonds and this is why he can be suspected of a crime, while Johan can’t and avoids imprisonment because of this. On the other hand Tenma’s relationships are also what saves him multiple times and in the end bonds are also what defeats Johan (the bond between a father and a son) and what saves him (Nina and Tenma’s bond with him).

In short, Tenma is a God made human, while Johan is a victim turned into a devil. Then who exactly is Nina? As @hamliet​ commented, Nina is humanity who must choose between the two ideologies offered to her. This is why, while both Johan and Tenma remain loyal to their respective philosophies from the beginning of the story to the end, she changes.

Comparing the beginning with the end makes it clear. The story starts and ends with Johan asking a person to shoot him in the head and with Tenma operating and saving Johan. The variable is Nina who starts the story shooting her brother and ends it by encouraging Tenma to save him. This is particularly beautiful because in the end it is thanks to the “human” aka Nina that “god” aka Tenma does not lose himself and wins. In the end the fight between these two forces is decided not by who is stronger, but by the people each one of them is able to influence.

Thank you for the ask! I am sorry for this very long ramble and I hope it is clear enough!

[wolfinshipclothing]

Wow... WOW. Ok, i just watched the new eps and i loved them? I mean, YEAH, you could say that plot wise it doesn’t do that much, but characterization wise they were pretty interesting. But i want to focus on Steven, this new Steven, Teen!Steven. 

First of, this pretty line from  Little Homeschool:

“Knowing there is someone out there still hurting because of the Diamonds. Because of... My mom... If there is a change i could make it better, shouldn’t i try?”

LOL... Remember when the movie came out, and a lot of people said Steven was done trying to fix the mistakes her mom did? BS. And even if that was his intention during the movie, i dont think he would have been able to actually follow that thru. Spinel’s attack on Earth only rushed what was a natural event bound to happen. Steven went back to his old “fix everyones problems” ways... But he is different. He is more pragmatic now.

He keeps bottles with the Diamonds’ essence in his bathroom, he has phamplets with the sole pourpose of educating new gems, he stepped over Amethyst and forced gems to do other jobs they didn’t wanted to do... Steven is making the whole “fix peoples lives” thing something very unpersonal. He is taking it as his JOB. He is detaching himself from the people he wants to help and is starting to see them as just... problems to fix.

Case in point, Pink!Pearl.

Steven says so himself

“It doesn’t matter. I can fix it!”

and

“STOP IT! I cant deal with one more horrible thing she did, OK?! I dont wanna hear about it. I dont even wanna THINK about it. I just... want... TO FIX IT!”

Terrible. I mean, its a very understandable reaction, thats not the problem here. The bad thing is that Steven just KEEPS forcing his feelings down... Like, what does he do when the Rose Quartzes ask him if he likes them?

BITE HIS PILLOW!

He. Can not. Talk. About his feelings. Mister “why dont you talk to each other?” cant say whats wrong with himself?

WELL OF COURSE HE CANT... he never could. He could when he was younger but eventually, he realized that his family needed him to be strong to help them. And yeah, he wanted to help because he loved the gems and he is an empathic person, but he went down the hole so deep that now he is stuck in there

And there is Jaspers’ Speech, and i think this is the part that broke him:

“You never beat me on your own. You always were a fusion. You always had your friends. Because, you are NOTHING without them!”

BRUTAL. But also true. I mean, look at his face.Obviously, we know is not true, but its something Steven believes. He might not be PD, but he shares her fundamental flaw. SELF STEM ISSUES. Steven does not believe he is good enough. Sure, he has his moments when his confidence is higher, but he is always making sure to try his best, to prove he is a good friend, a good son, a good leader... A better person than HER. Case in point, his new Pink!Steven form.

The first two episodes, Steven was delighted to have found something new about himself. A new amazing source of power he can tap into. But then cames “Volleyball” and he starts to lose control of his form and he doesnt understand why... until this moment.

This when Steven realizes there is still something of PD inside him. Something HORRIBLE.

And thats what i loved the most about these new episodes... That all of these things i listed, all of those flaws...

NONE OF THAT IS NEW!

Steven has always have a bit of a Small name-Big ego personality. He has always had a tendency to get into other people’s business. He has always been insecure and trying to prove himself. He has always had that Martyrdom complex. He had always ate his feelings because he was too worried fixing other people’s lives.

Now, you could say “Hey, should Steven have learned his lessons by now? He is backpedaling in his character development!” And... you would be kind of right? I mean its hard to ignore that Steven should now better about certain things by now, but if we consider the in-plot explanation, it does makes kind of sense.

Steven has always had those issues, but he has been neglecting them because there were bigger stakes in the game. But now they are gone, and Steven has grown up but all his issues are STILL THERE. A very big part of the series is that Steven is an Empath fixed on solving every problem in the RPG of his life by following the Pacifist!Route. That is literally the whole show... 

But this is a new series, with the same old Steven. Everyone has changed, but he still has issues to solve, and its SO refreshing to see the crew put Steven in a situation in which it is HIM who needs help.

And you know, the whole PINK!STEVEN think is clearly an analogy to Puberty. Steven is still discovering new things about himself, and he still has stuff to work out. He has to decide WHO he wants to be, now that he is no longer believing himself to be PD or RQ.

WHO is Steven Universe and WHAT does he want from the Future... THAT is the question of this series.

And i, for one, am LOVING IT.

(Also steven is so sarcastic now and its even more in-your-face than before and i love it)

[muthaz-rapapa]

HealPre Final Review: Not terrible but not entirely laudable either...

*sigh* Where do I start?

Well, one thing I’m pretty sure of is that COVID definitely affected production somehow. By that, I don’t just mean the show needing to go on hiatus, resulting in a shorter run compared to previous seasons. I’m also talking about any possible changes that might’ve been made to the original narrative, if there was one.

Much like how Suite’s story had to be altered in the wake of the 2011 Tohoku earthquake and tsunami disaster, I believe Heal underwent a similar treatment in response to the pandemic becoming more widespread as 2020 went on.

Especially since it dealt with health and nature, HealPre is probably the season that has come the closest in relevancy to real life events.

Frankly, that can be quite scary because this virus was and is still a fucking nightmare on a massive global scale. From that view, I can understand why the writers/producers would be concerned of the anime hitting too near home. At least for their main demographic’s (children) sake, maybe they were compelled to shift to something lighter and less edgier so that the kids could find some comfort and enjoyment in the midst of the world’s current crisis.

So I can’t fault Toei for that, if that’s really the case. Going through a pandemic is terrifying, infuriating and exhausting and UGH. We could use something that can help ease our worries or momentarily distract us even a little bit. 

Though would it have killed them to dedicate one episode to the importance of wearing a mask or washing hands? (-_- ;;)

HOWEVER! Seeing as I am not a fragile child, I’ve still got several (oho~) criticisms to air out before I put this season behind me. This review isn’t particularly scathing but...there is a lot of discontent so you’ve been forewarned.

But first, let’s tediously review what structure means in Precure.

We all know that there are certain things that will forever (?) remain fixed in the series formula.

The plot is always going to be “magical girls fight evil doers threatening to ruin the world”.

There are plot points to indicate story progression but in reality, are put there to correspond with toy releases which are usually marked by these five: introductions, first power up, midseason Cure, second power up, and build-up to the climax + finale.

There is usually a specific message (a theme) to be told with every season and motifs (narrative tools) to aid in getting that across. For HealPre, the theme is “living is fighting” and its motifs are “health” and “nature”.

I left out “animals” b/c 1) it didn’t hold as much significance as the other two did, 2) animals are part of nature anyway and 3) let’s be real, it’s just a synonym for “mascots” which we already get every year. :P

Right. I’m probably forgetting something but for the most part, these are immovable pillars of Precure.

Story, on the other hand, has more variables you can work with.

Story is how you tell the plot, how you convey the message.

Precure, as a tv series, is unarguably carried by its main stars, the Cures. So it only makes sense that a huge percentage of a season’s success owes itself to how much of an impact its characters had on the audience as well as how effective their individual story arcs were as sub-plots tying back to the bigger picture (the message/theme).

Ideally, these arcs would shine the brightest in the filler episodes, where the plot  (“good guys vs. bad guys”) is less of a focus so there is more space for personal development and growth.

Also, not all character arcs have to be directly related to the plot but they ought to be written well in order to support the overarching message (the theme).

Now, has HealPre done that? Has each girl’s story demonstrated a good example of what “living is fighting” means?

...nnnnnnyyeeee... look, even I can’t give a straightforward answer on that because while technically they did, by virtue of Nodoka’s observance in ep 44 recounting it as such, there’s also actually not enough to make it feel substantial from a viewer’s standpoint.

At least, that’s what I thought while watching HealPre.

With the exception of Nodoka’s, there was a lot of saying but not much doing to convincingly back the other girls’ arcs up. The fillers themselves were very weak, loosely composed in relation to the motifs and, if I may be so blunt, downright boring that if Nodoka didn’t phrase those episodes as things that counted towards the theme, I probably would put up more of a fight on disagreeing. so shoot me, I’m soft for her :P

And I know that sounds confusing right now but I will elaborate as I continue.

Before that though, to be utterly fair, some seasons keep their respective themes shrouded in vagueness until they’re given a more concrete form in words around the finale. So it’s not like we can do much except make educated guesses on what they really are. Most of the time, we’re just measuring everything against our perception of a standard in the fog. Or maybe that’s just me?

Nevertheless, you can just tell, y’know? By simply watching and observing the whole show, you can tell if the characterization, the development, and the outcome (essentially the content given) really live up to what the season claims is endgame.

So let’s go through that first then. The characters, starting with our lead Cure...

Nodoka being the only Cure in her team to have an arc deserving of the praise “exceptional” should come as a surprise to no one.

She was the most solid in terms of direction on how her story was going to proceed. Out of all the girls, her journey had the greatest connection to the subject “health”, repeatedly delved into it every time the spotlight was on her and fulfilled everything it seemed to promise from her debut in episode 1.

Her struggles on the road to recovery from a long-term illness and the strength she’s drawn from that traumatizing experience as well as her time as Precure did more than establish her as the strongest character in HealPre.

She has also rose to become one of the most memorable Pink Cures in the entire franchise (personally, I rank her in the top 5).

And it’s not hard to see why she’s earned such high regard in a lot of fans’ hearts.

The writers clearly worked a lot on her character composition to the point where she can pretty much embody the theme of “living is fighting” all on her own.

She came into HealPre fresh out of the hospital and full of earnest desire to make the most of her newfound freedom but she also wasn’t without knowledge on what hardship is. From there, she only got stronger, even when she was stumbling and trying to figure things out along the way. She grew more fortified in her beliefs on what it means to be truly live a healthy life.

She bravely defied the ones who attempted to take advantage of her and twist her cause against her. And she learned that taking care of herself is equally as important as wanting others to be safe from harm.

It was never about winning or coming out on top. It was about protecting a fundamental yet precious truth. That one thing any decent human being should never have to concede: the right to live well.

Honestly, Nodoka is absolutely inspiring all around, as a fictional character, a heroine and a normal everyday person.

Everything about her arc went satisfyingly right like it was meant to and the best thing is, we don’t need to question it because we saw how it all happened with our very own eyes.

I sincerely wished I could say the same for the others but sadly, they were just too flawed.

And Pegitan can throw flippers with me all day if he wants but as undeniable as the above statements are about Chiyu, her arc failed to leap over the increasingly mounting disappointment I had with every episode that’s been assigned solely to her.

Two of which weren’t even about Chiyu. One centered on Pegitan’s admiration for his partner and the other focused on her brother, Touji. Which, while nice to give to supporting/secondary characters, is a fat waste of valuable screentime and not what I’m here for.

It also didn’t help that the conflict of her arc (the indecision over choosing between two dreams) started really late in the game and was resolved so quickly within two episodes. There was no time for me to get invested into it, there was no powerful sense of conviction like how Go!Pri or Hugtto handled theirs and really, it just felt like Chiyu was only following what the script dictated for her rather than genuinely awakening to her own competitive passion towards track and field.

It was almost like it didn’t matter. Almost as if the writers procrastinated in thinking up something worthwhile to further her development...but then settled on grabbing an old idea off the shelf without refining it to suit Chiyu when they ran out of time.

This happened similarly with Minami in Go!Pri and Elena in StarPre, both of whom left me angry at how their arcs were executed. Yet theirs don’t compare to how pissed off I am about Chiyu’s. Because while Minami’s took a while to arrive, it wasn’t done poorly and linked back to Go!Pri’s theme well enough. And while Elena’s was over crammed last minute, at least it was unique to her character and had lots of potential ways to play out if they actually started it earlier on in StarPre.

Chiyu’s arc is like a discount version of the former with hardly any of the intriguing qualities of the latter. Sure, she had two early episodes that laid out the two most important aspects of her life (her family inn and her dedication to her sport) but after that, they weren’t brought up again until we were only weeks away from the ending. Y’know, just to fill up episode slots and meet the minimal requirement of saying they did give Chiyu some issue to resolve. 

It was not engaging at all.

Furthermore, the fact that her arc had very little to no relation with either “health” or “nature” hurt my appreciation of her character somewhat. I just...don’t think her kind of story really matches with the central topics of HealPre?

...but maybe I’m being bitter about this all wrong and that’s screwing up my rational thinking on this matter.

Because Chiyu’s arc is valid under the logic of the overall theme, I would never say it isn’t. And again, character arcs don’t have to be close to the plot nor is it necessary to employ the “suffering builds character” method to make them interesting.

Chiyu always does her best every day. That’s sufficient argument on why her story does fit within the frame of HealPre’s premise.

Guess I’ll just have to wrangle my resistance into acceptance somehow.

...still, her arc could’ve been done so much better than what we were given. Chiyu at least deserved that much.

Next, Hinata.

Since the beginning, I knew she was gonna be runner-up to Nodoka for having the (for lack of better term atm) “best” arc because it was heavily implied that she has ADHD and therefore, immediately checked off the “health” trait. She was even more obvious about it than Nozomi was.

Difficulty paying attention, hyperactivity, impulsiveness. Hinata didn’t just display all those signs, she also showed how hard it was for her to deal with the downsides to them on a regular basis.

She kept apologizing and put herself down excessively for inconveniencing her friends even though they never blamed her for her condition. Got them annoyed a few times, yes, but didn’t stop them from staying friends with her and definitely didn’t make them hate her either.

Everybody was understanding of Hinata...except Hinata because she always took her failures to heart and considered quitting several times to avoid the crushing dejection of making mistakes over and over again.

She got better, though, and no one could have summed it up more heartwarmingly than Nyatoran with the encouraging words he gave her at the conclusion of her arc. 

But it still feels like there’s a huge chunk of development missing between the start and finish. Or rather, it seemed like all of it occurred offscreen and we were only informed later that it did in fact, happen.

To recap, iirc, Hinata had around 5 episodes that focused on her (ep 9, 13, 23, 35 and 40). Ep 18 doesn’t count because that was a Nyatoran-centric filler more than anything.

Ep 9 and 13 did their jobs of introducing and highlighting the details of Hinata’s troubles while also suggesting she will eventually learn to overcome her insecurities. The ones after, though? They pushed those issues to the backseat.

In Ep 23, she had to share the (uneven) spotlight with Asumi. Hinata’s improvements were briefly mentioned but the majority of the ep went to teaching Asumi what “cute” meant and how to get along with puppies. I mean, I get that Asumi recently joined the group and bonding with her was mandatory by tradition. But since each Cure only gets a limited number of eps to herself, it would’ve been more beneficial for Hinata if she didn’t have to split screentime with someone else’s growth schedule.

Ep 35 is slightly better but not by a whole lot. Sure, Natasha was able to reconcile with Elizabeth which was very sweet and heck, it was the goal for that episode. But again, nothing was really done or addressed about Hinata’s main conflict. She tossed it back with the rest of her homework to deal with later. ahaha, a TroPre hint

Then ep 40 came to formally close the curtains on her story and apparently, Hinata screwed up lots of times since...whenever but she picked herself up every time after and kept on trying. Awesome. So WHY didn’t we get to see that? 

I’m not asking for the impossible here. I’m not asking for Hinata to be cured or anything miraculous like that. There is treatment available for ADHD but it is not curable.

Also, forcing Hinata to find a way to get better at studying, the thing she struggles with the most, is not the solution either because that would only make her more stressed and anxious over her own disorder.

What I want is to see how she moved from wailing “I can’t do it! I don’t wanna! I’m so scared of failing so why bother?!” to determinedly declaring “So what if I failed 1 or 100 times? So what if I fail another 1000 times? What matters is that I don’t let that stop me!”

That confidence is not something that can be built up overnight. It’s gradual and it takes numerous tries to reach from where Hinata was to where Hinata is now.

Telling me she grew emotionally stronger can only allow me to believe so much. I need to actually witness the changes as well.

If it weren’t for that, Hinata’s arc would have been a lot more impressive. Shame.

Finally............... Asumi.

Asumi, Asumi, Asumi, Asumi, Asumi, Asumi, Asumi... *sighs & drums fingers*

...she has no arc, ok? Seriously, what story is there to speak of, much less write a hefty analysis on?

A spirit born for the sake of Latte who just went along with the Precure ride because Latte didn’t want to abandon her duty. She made friends with those who aren’t Latte, extended her knowledge and understanding and gained valuable human experience during her stay on Earth. But ultimately, she will always define her entire existence around a puppy. 

Nothing is more important than this puppy.

...... to be honest, Asumi not having a storyline isn’t what bothers me. It’s her lack of depth that does.

Hell, even the giant burger she ate had more depth than she did!

Oh, Asumi does have a personality alright. She’s consistently and unfailingly polite, utterly devoted to her raison d’être and in crucial moments, gives pearls of wisdom when the girls are in a pinch. She’s good.

But if that’s all she is, then she’s also painfully dull.

She has nothing to contribute to the discussion of health or nature, despite being created through an element of the Earth so you’d think she’d have an opinion of her own. At least worry about the planet that gave life to her as much as she frets over Latte all the time. But nope.

She shares the exact same face as Teatine’s past Precure partner so you’d think we’d explore that connection to see if it would influence or affect her in any way. But nope.

90% of the time, her role was just being Latte’s constant, fawning satellite.

Not only did that irritate the hell out of me but it just reinforced my stance that this type of character is one of the worst you can ever insert into any narrative.

Because if someone keeps reiterating how much they’re obsessed with this one thing and seldom talks about anything else without bringing their obsession into it... then what’s so special about them on their own?

You’ve practically surrendered the different qualities you could have had for worship of something else. That’s not a fair trade-in.

Asumi’s character is so packed with Latte-related stuff that there’s not much space left for anything that can be considered uniquely Asumi.

I mean, maybe it’s because I can never see myself or any normal person comfortable with living like that.

Living for the sake of being together with the one you love? Okay. But living with your whole universe revolving around that one thing? Making most if not all decisions based on this one thing?

No. That’s absolutely crazy, alright? Nobody with a healthy amount of awareness and self-worth would live like that.

And you can counter that Asumi’s just born like that. That she can’t help her origins because Teatine’s wish to protect her daughter is essentially what brought Asumi into existence so of course, her biggest concern would be Latte. At least, she wasn’t forced into it, right? As long as Asumi chose of her own will to follow Latte, it should be fine, right?

You can even use the fact that Asumi isn’t human. That she’s a spirit and we shouldn’t apply our human standards too strictly to her.

Yea, but those are feeble defenses in the face of her being a good main character, a good main heroine. 

There are many ways to make a decent MC. The way Asumi was written proves she certainly does not possess traits that can classify her as true protagonist material. A protagonist has to be more than one amplified feature, which Asumi is not.

For the record, I don’t hate Asumi (she’s not interesting enough to generate a feeling that intense). I'm just severely let down because even if I don’t end up loving the midseason Cure for whatever reason, I can usually count on them to bring something intriguing to the table to dissect and analyze. At least I should find something to care about them.

Didn’t happen with her. :(

Oh god, I’ve been working on this post for days now and I’ve got a headache and with the baton pass happening in less than a few hours as I type this, I just really need to get it done and over with so please forgive me for speeding up through the rest, I’ll try to keep it as coherent as possible. NYARGH! (@_@ ;;)

Mascots.

Would you be surprised to hear that I’m not surprised that they were actually written very well?

Like I said early on, I suspected the return of fairy partnerships were going to improve the mascots’ significance in the story and, well, I was right. 

This time, they didn’t just fill in the usual expectations of relaying exposition, serving as the Cures’ transformation devices and looking cute for the merchandise. The Healing Animals had to make progress on their own training to become doctors as well.

And they did through their relationships with their human partners.

It was a refreshing take on the mascot aspect of the series because the friendships felt really symbiotic. When the trainees arrived on Earth, they relied on the girls to help them perform their jobs as well as provide them with shelter, food, the occasional peptalk about their trainee status, etc.

Then as the story continued and they got to know each other better, the mascots were able to return the favor by giving support when the Cures needed it. Rabirin when Nodoka was frightened and confused about how to deal with Daruizen, Pegitan when Chiyu was having trouble choosing between two dreams and Nyatoran who made sure to always lift Hinata’s spirits up when she got upset at herself.

In short, they achieved their objectives of learning what it means to be good doctors by being there for their friends! How wonderful! :D

My memory for Latte is hazy, unfortunately, since she’s coddled by everyone all the time (can’t blame them, she’s friggin’ adorable! <3) but I’ll never forget how she stood firm on the battlefield to see things through, to fight for the Earth like she promised her mother. She started out so babie but showed us all there was enormous bravery behind her cute face and ugh, we should all be very proud of her! <3

The only major issues I had about the mascots were these:

1) Too many irrelevant fillers went to them. They only needed a maximum of two for their entire mascot group.

2) Latte kept getting sick even after she acquired a Precure partner of her own. I was hoping it wouldn’t hurt her as much as it did before Asumi arrived or that she would build up a stronger immunity but noooo, they insisted on torturing the poor pupper! T_T

Villains + Finale Battle

Not a lot needs to be said for the first part. We’ve had mediocre antagonists before. HealPre’s just happened to be extra annoying as they were despicable. 

Which is worse because jerks you can just leave in the trash but assholes won’t stop harassing you unless you pummel them into their graves, set fire to their corpses and leave no trace of them behind! >:(

Y’all know who I’m talking about. Opinions on him continue to vary depending on who you talk to and if they’re avid fans of his face or not but whatever. The son of a bitch served his purpose and is dead now. That’s all that matters to me.

Anyway, the King was flat like his two lesser generals. He was neither intimidating nor distinguished enough in the brand of evil to really make us think of him as a serious threat and because of that, it ended up making the boss fight look like any run of the mill boss fight.

I know, they tried so hard with all that shiny animation but it just didn’t have that glorious sense of vindication that previous seasons (or ep 42) gave and I blame it all on this Rumiko Takahashi reject.

Also, this strategy was pretty useless?

They built it up like Earth was gonna sacrifice herself and die or something (she wouldn’t and even if she came close, deus ex machina would’ve kicked in to prevent that and COVID-induced caution too I guess). 

But there were no signs of pain (well, that’s a relief) after absorbing Shindoi-ne and they really pissed King Byogen off more than they did any damage with the absorbed byo-gen power.

...so yea, this tactic was just to kill some time and budget, nothing more. Meh.

By the way, did Asumi eject Shindoi-ne’s pathogen out of her body yet or did they just leave it in there to bounce around until it eventually dissolves on its own?

Because that’s eww. I mean, it’s obviously not gonna hurt Asumi they can both relate on hyperfocusing their affection for someone so maybe the compatibility helps :P but still, ewwwww.

Fillers + Underused Motifs

In hindsight, perhaps HealPre didn’t exactly promise the content we I wanted about “health” and “nature” if their objective was to teach that any manner of “fighting” can count towards “living”.

......but fuck you Toei, you’re still cowards! >:/

Fillers will be fillers but it’s always better to try and make some of them as meaningful as possible. And they wasted the opportunity to inform an impressionable audience (during a very crucial period of our time, I must add) on a lot of things related to the HealPre’s motifs. Especially about the environment which for some ridiculous reason, they chose not to touch on for the main stretch of the overall story.

Proper hygiene, good diet plan and sleeping habits, regular exercise (already done by the girls a few times but could use another example), meditation, counseling/therapy (especially for mental health!), etc.

Real life pollution, climate change/global warming (IMPORTANT!!), deforestation, preservation vs conservation, endangered species, recycling, volunteering to clean up your community, etc.

These just came off the top of my head but yes, there’s more and no, I’m not saying that the writers need to cover all of them in extreme detail or replace the slice-of-life episodes.

But they should be able to mesh both serious and light-hearted together in harmony somehow. Like those fillers where the mascots saw people cleaning up littering at the park or that interaction with that arborist who taught them about wild animals and trees when the group went to visit a lake.

For health, maybe let the girls visit patients with chronic illness in the hospital or have them converse with a medical professional on some matter. Particularly if it’s got something to do with mental illness because stigma in Japan on those who are afflicted with such conditions is still prevalent and has caused a number of sad and shocking tragedies that could have otherwise been avoided if people didn’t have such outdated, judgmental mindsets.

That last part might be too dark for a children’s anime but there’s a lot more out there that is doable.

Do that without reducing it into a footnote, Toei. It is so necessary for your target audience to be aware of these issues at the age they are now. You have an almost 20-year old franchise to serve as a very effective platform. Make better use of it if you truly care about the message you’re conveying through your show!

Also, what the fuck.

The last episode was a mess. Why are you only mentioning this now when the season is already over?

This should’ve been brought up months ago!

All the things we could’ve seen the Cures done to protect the Earth without magic.

The excuse of “I didn’t know humans were so horrible!” is a shit one because everybody knows humans are deplorable trash when it comes to abusing the Earth. All the more reason why you have to persistently drill it into people’s heads that they should not be like those who don’t care or choose not to care.

One crack episode isn’t going to cut that.

God, I so want to unsee this ep just so I don’t have to end HealPre on a more sour note than it already was. *big aggrieved sigh*

Lastly (and this really is the end of my long ranting, I promise), the missing undisclosed lore.

There are few Precure seasons without a past lore of its own in the recent years. Is it a wonder, though?

Lore is mysterious and fascinating. If it involves a past Precure, even more so.

Sometimes fans might just hang onto a show because they’re curious about what happened before the main story. We’d never get the full tale of those adventures but at least, it’s fun to imagine the “prequel”.

Also, past Precure are just badass. Fact.

Strangely enough, we didn’t get that for Heal. All we know is that she was called “Fuu” and was very close to Teatine. 

Hmm. Probably one of those changes caused by COVID interference cuz I can’t imagine the writers choosing not to tell her past in the original draft.

With all that finally off my chest, I’m ready to part ways with you girls until the next All Stars (Nodoka, I’m gonna miss you so much! T_T)

HealPre wasn’t the worst and it was nowhere near the best that it had the potential to be. But it’s passable. At least for those who loved it even with its flaws, I’m genuinely glad it was good for you.

For those who are thinking about picking it up (although why you would read this spoilery post before watching, I have no idea), if you’re looking for a standard magical girl anime to enjoy casually, then this is a safe pick. If you really want to invest your attention and heart into it, though? Then perhaps it would be in your interest to ask someone who saw it already to help you filter out the episodes that are worth watching. You don’t need to worry about the rest, they’re inconsequential. :P

Ok then! Thanks for reading as always, brave souls who have reached this point. 

Stay healthy and safe out there and I’ll see you at the beach next week! Tropic underwater paradise here we coooooommmmmeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!! xDDD

[lunatic-fandom-space]

Alright, Period Cramps just set in and Im looking for songs anyway so Im gonna be listening to every RWBY Song (V1-V7) in chronological order and rank them, starting with the worst. Lets go!

Caffeine: Thank god the team with the Nazi-based leader has the shittiest song so far.

Celebrate: Why tf is this here

Shine: Ehhhh. I dont really know why but the vibes were all off, somehow. The fact that really dislike Jaune (and as an extension, Arkos) doesn't help either.

Forever Fall: This song was 5 minutes long and it felt like 20

Brand New Day: I barely even registered that

Fear: not the worst

Lets Get Real: Either Im too tired or the songs are getting worse

War: Im ranking this one higher because it wasnt over 4 minutes

Bmblb: All the love songs are so generic

Dream Come True: Im listening to all these songs in the form of Lyric Videos and the art used in this one made me think 'Oh, a Jaune Song... Great. Well, maybe we'll get Jaune pining after Phyrrah now! Yknow, to balance it out. A cute lil song of him pining for a nice girl might me like him a bit more!' and guess what. It wasnt that. It was another Arkos Song from Phyrrahs perspective. AND this one had unnecessary Girl-Hate towards Weiss! For no reason! The only reason its above Shine is because they atleast got the vibes right this time.

Not Fall In Love With You: I think Im just not a big fan of the love songs.

Boop: It was pretty cute but nothing to write home about

Until The End: slow piano

Touch The Sky: Its not that bad, its just that Im tired and this song is too goddamn long

This Time (From Shadows II): A just fine song for a shitty arc

I Burn: I liked fine, until they started rapping.

Like Morning Follows Night: I thought this was gonna be one of the better love songs, then he started rapping.

Smile: All this does is make me question how Ilia was in the wrong even more. Sounded alright though.

The Triumph: Eh, pretty unremarkable opening for an unremarkable volume

This Will Be The Day: A very promising start! There's honestly not much to say here

From Shadows: It was fine. I liked the overall sound but the lyrics and the singing are just a bit too edgy for me.

Bad Luck Charm: Someone in the comments under the lyrics video said "looks like someone found his middleschool poetry" and honestly, yeah.

I May Fall: Hey, yknow how the FoB was apparently meant to happen in Volume 1? Yeah. Overall, I thought it was pretty alright. (You can probably already tell that Im not too big of a fan of the louder, more energetic songs so far.....

Trust Love: This is by no means a problem I have with only this song, but I hate how theyre all like "oh this isnt some FaIrYtAlE kid, this is real n dark n shit" as if RWBY isnt the least dark and least subversive story Ive seen in recent time

Rising: Alright but unremarkable

Miracle: Another alright but unremarkable one. At this point I feel like listening to these songs is frying my brain

Ignite: I was just gonna say its an alright Yang Song but that rap...

Big Metal Shoe: I can appreciate some fairy tale references

Gold: The chorus got a bit repetitive but I thought it was pretty cute

Home: Another cute lil family song! This one was kinda long though

Lionized: I really appreciate the vibe of this song

All Our Days: Adorable! I didnt really expect a Taiyang Song but this was pretty nice

Sacrifice: Not really much go say about this one, I thought it was fine

Neon: I feel like I just got aggressively flexed on in the nicest, yet most condescending way possible

Lusus Naturae: Very edgy, but in a way that I can appreciate more

Red Like Roses I: I really like the sound of this one! I kinda wish we had more lyrics, but this was the song used in the Red Trailer so Im assuming it was made to compliment the action more than anything. At the start and end there was this series of notes, that Im assuming is gonna be the Leitmotiv? Either way, Im curious how theyll use it

All Things Must Die: I feel like this song is definitely at its best during the slower bits

Lets Just Live: First of all, I cant believe they live-laugh-loved us. They kept mentioning like, stories and how 'this isnt your TYPICAL fairytale', I could practically feel the writers being like "Huh, huuuuuuuh? Arent we CLEVER? Yes we are, yes we are!" But other than it was mostly fine. A bit long, maybe.

Armed And Ready: Pretty alright Yang Song, I felt like it was just a bit too long

It's My Turn: Not much to say, I thought it was a fine Weiss Song

Nevermore: I think its good

Wings: I really enjoyed this song! Caseys voice is lovely and I think its a very good Blake Song

Indomitable: I liked this one, but I feel like its mainly because the line "the spirit is indomitable" reminds of Flame from VRAINS

When It Falls: This song is trying very hard to convince you that RWBY is Dark Now. And given that Im pretty sure this is V3s opening, I guess it fits. Oh well, it still sounded pretty nice.

One Thing: A real slappin song thats going straight to my YGO-playlist as well

All That Matters: Very neat song about Yang's conflicting feelings on Blake's return. Shame theyre literally not conveyed at all in the show.

Die: Very agressive title, but okay. I also enjoyed this one, who wouldve guessed. I love this whole vibe of Desperate Heroism In A World In Ruin, yknow? Its there in Time To Say Goodbye and Red Like Roses II (two of my favourite songs so far) too. Though it is quite dissapointing that the show never really matched it.

Hero: I dont get how people can look at this and go "yeah, Ironwood was clearly always a tyrant who never even remotely cared for others". Also Caleb Hyles my beloved

Time To Say Goodbye: Another very nice song! I also think the foreshadowing in the third verse (yknow the slow one) was quite well done. The only real issue is, that the plot point its foreshadowing is stupid as hell

The Path To Isolation: Why is Weiss a better character in her songs?

Divide: This song is trying very hard to convince you that RWBY is Dark Now pt 2. It is a banger though, so its fine.

Mirror Mirror: Funfact: This was technically the first RWBY-Thing Ive ever consumed! A Youtuber named Strawbelly made a german cover of this song (and the songs from the other trailers, I believe) and it was one of my favourites for a while. Ive also already listened to some of Weiss' other songs and I remember enjoying them too. I can definitely already tell that I prefer Caseys voice in the slower songs, so I really hope this keeps up

This Life Is Mine: Yoooooooooo, Caseys voice was amazing in this one(especially at the very start)! This is one of the Weiss Songs I listened to before I even watched RWBY and what can I say, I loved it back then and I love it now

I'm The One: Oh, this was absolutely lovely. For the first few seconds I thought I wouldnt like this one, but its a banger! I love the lyrics too, theyre very clever I think

Red Like Roses II: DUDE, I adored this! I did not expect there to be lyrics for Summer at all and I was so pleasently surprised! Sandra's voice was lovely, and I really hope I'll get to hear her again. But on a slightly more negative note, I feel like this is really where the whole 'RWBYs Songs Characterize The Protagonists In A More Compelling Way Than The Show Does'-Problem starts.

I originally wanted to write some kind of conclusion but Im tired and wanna read angst fics. Have a good night!

[gisellelx]

The Cider House Vampire Rules

I completely agree with the criticism that SM is constantly ignoring bodily autonomy in her work. That’s something you have to grapple with if you’re going to stay canon--if we take SM at face value, what does it mean for the way we have to write these characters? Carlisle is 100% guilty of this in the case of Jacob’s DNA, which says something about him. I am no SM apologist. I think she wrote some disgusting stuff that she deserves to be called on. 

But somewhere this idea developed that in BD, Carlisle was all gloved up and ready to force Bella into having an abortion. Not only does that not makes sense for his character, it runs directly counter to what he actually says in the book. Yet, it seems that people have concluded that “Carlisle would have been willing to abort the pregnancy” means “Carlisle was willing to force Bella against her will.” I don’t know if that’s because people find BD so insulting they’re unwilling to re-read it or what, or if it’s just that being so thoroughly inside Bella’s head has led to confusion, but as a dedicated canon writer, it’s always been my joy to find the gaps and to know these texts backwards and forwards, at least as they pertain to the character I’m writing at the time (which is usually Carlisle.) 

So let’s talk about the two questions at play here: A) Was Carlisle willing and ready to terminate Bella’s pregnancy and B) Did he mean to do it against her will. I find no support for, and actually counter evidence for, B, and while I think A is quite likely, there’s actually more than a bit of wiggle room there, too. 

Let’s dive in. My Twitter bio has recently been updated to read “Always here for the over the top srs bsns take.” Don’t say you weren’t warned. There are in-line citations involved because I am a NEEEEERRRRD. 

The end of the honeymoon goes like this: Bella pukes, feels the baby quicken, which prompts Alice’s vision (which we never find out), which prompts the call from the Cullen household, and then they’re on the plane home. 

We’re in Bella’s head at the end of the honeymoon. She doesn’t hear Carlisle’s side of the conversation after she hands the phone to Edward. Edward says this: “Is it possible? .... And Bella? .... Yes, yes, I will.” (BD 130)  And that’s it. I suppose there’s a reading you could take there that Carlisle is like, “Bring her home and strap her to a table!” and that’s what Edward replies “Yes, I will” to. But...that seems really unlikely. We have no clue what Carlisle said, except that with the way he’s characterized in the prior books, it was probably more like, “Take care of her, bring her home, and we’ll figure this out together, son.” 

So let’s think about what’s going through Carlisle’s head right now. Pregnant mothers, especially first time mothers, experience quickening around midway through their pregnancies. All this goes down on August 30 (OIG 411). So that puts Bella’s conception date, were this a normal pregnancy, sometime in May, maaaybe June. June, recall, is when she spent the night in a tent with Jacob. So it’s a little early for her to feel the baby move, especially for a first pregnancy, for that to have been the conception date, but that is certainly more plausible than “my vampire kid knocked her up two weeks ago and somehow she’s already halfway through her pregnancy.” 

Yes, she says her last menstrual cycle was 31 days ago. Nevertheless, it just makes more sense that this is not Edward’s baby. So Carlisle has basically no information which is actually useful, and Occam’s Razor says that’s the easiest explanation. He doesn’t know what he’s dealing with at this point. I imagine that he absolutely flew into his library at that point and started re-reading every last journal entry he’d ever made for himself. He’s making phone calls to Tanya and trying to think his way through this. 

He’s also a physician. And one who we have no reason to believe is militantly anti-abortion. Anti-abortion stances being linked to evangelical Christianity is actually a very new invention, dating to the Regan era (and it’s only really common in the US.) It wasn’t actually something actual Puritans cared about. So historically, there’s not a lot of reason to think Carlisle has some deep moral objection to terminating a pregnancy. I don’t think he was out there like Dr. Larch running an illegal abortion clinic pre Roe but I’d be astonished if he hasn’t performed a handful of them over his time. I think especially in cases where it was about the life of the mother, he would feel particularly compelled to use his skills to intervene.  So he’s back at home, with the scant bit of information Edward has given, and Edward’s panic, and thinking, “Yep. Whatever is going on, we’re ending this pregnancy.” He has no reason at this point from his end to believe that Bella wants to go through with the pregnancy. He has what Edward has told him. We’ve seen Bella’s horror that Edward is thinking they should abort the baby, we’ve seen her call Rose, but Edward specifically doesn’t see this, and that means neither does Carlisle. So at this point, Carlisle is preparing himself (maybe?) to terminate a pregnancy he thinks is probably human and may be a ways along. At a bare minimum, what he knows at that point is that Bella is probably pregnant, and Edward is scared. He assumes Bella is scared. And maybe Edward calls him on the flight home and says that Kaure said that Bella was going to die. So he’s ready to do whatever he can do. Because he’s a doctor, and a father. 

That’s the end of BD book 1, and BD book 2 picks up an entire week later without any intervening information. Jacob comes to visit and the next information we get about what’s happened in the meantime is him talking to Edward (BD 177), in which he asks what’s going on, and Edward, agonizing, explains in response to why “Carlisle hasn’t done anything” that “[Bella] won’t let us.” 

It is then Jacob who suggests that they hold her down. And this is the one piece of information that we have that maybe suggests that Carlisle and Edward would’ve been in favor of forcing Bella, as Edward’s comment, “I wanted to. Carlisle would have...” (BD 178)

But let’s back this truck up a second. We know Edward is prone to overreaction. We also know that he tends to get pissed  when things don’t go his way (flatscreen TV in New Moon, anyone?). Maaaaaybe he’s not lying here. Maybe Carlisle really would have just totally held Bella down and done his level best. 

[Tiny aside: this wouldn’t have mattered though because not being able to gauge the speed at which the fetus was growing would’ve made abortion an incredibly risky maneuver. I don’t want to go too far into this but if you can handle the somewhat gruesome facts about what it takes to end a pregnancy that is more than 20 weeks along, you can google it--it’s a multi-day thing. If it would be possible that the fetus would be an entire week or two bigger the following day, this becomes downright impossible. Carlisle’s just not that stupid. He would’ve taken one look at this situation and gone, “Noooope.” Because he’s not an idiot. And that’s even before we get into the whole vampire skin amniotic sac stuff.]

The thing that upends this, though, is in the next chapter, after Jacob breaks from Sam’s pack over protecting Bella. He’s sitting on the Cullens’ back porch, with Carlisle, all road-weary. And Jacob calls Carlisle on calling Bella his family and says, “But you’re going to let her die.”  

And Carlisle answers, “I can imagine what you think of me for that. But I can’t ignore her will. It wouldn’t be right to make such a choice for her, to force her.” (BD 234, emphasis mine).  So. Edward says “Carlisle was willing.” Carlisle says “I can’t ignore her will.”  Faced with those two pieces of information, and faced with the fact that Edward by this time has been known to lie over and over if it means getting his way, I don’t find much reason to put stock in what he has to say about what Carlisle was and wasn’t willing to do. I happen to think it is entirely reasonable that Carlisle was trying to figure out a way to abort the pregnancy because that would make sense for a doctor who was concerned about his daughter-in-law’s life to do. But there’s actually no information about this either way in the actual canon. The only thing we ever know about what Carlisle would be willing to do is what Edward says he would do. 

And when it comes down to it, when Bella gets home and makes clear that ending her pregnancy is not what she wants, Carlisle is clear about how he lands. I don’t find room for the “He would’ve forced her to have an abortion” debate at all, and my suspicion that he would’ve been willing to perform an abortion if Bella had been willing is just that; a suspicion based on years of reading everything I can into his character. There’s actually not direct support for that in canon, either. [Later edit on rereading--it is possible, maybe even probable that this is what Edward means by “Carlisle would have” which would make sense. My headcanon is that he was totally okay with doing it! But it’s important to point out that this is headcanon--it’s not in the text.]   

So was Carlisle willing to abort a pregnancy? Yeah, I think this is pretty likely, but we actually don’t have full information. Was he willing to force Bella to do that? He himself says no, running counter to what Edward says to Jacob in the heat of a moment. And if I have to choose one of these two men to be telling the truth here, I’m always betting on Daddy C.