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popculturebuffet · 4 years

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House of Mouse: Max’s Embarrassing Date Review

Hello House Mouses and welcome back to the house of mouse. Another comission by Kev and my second House of Mouse for the valentine’s season. This time we’re not tackling a Valentine’s Episode necesarily, but a romantic one all the same as fan faviorite couple Max and Roxanne finally go on a date. I always liked Max. Even as a kid when I wasn’t the biggest fan of “A Goofy Movie”, didn’t like the darker patches like the principals office scene or the Pete Hot tub scene.. though in hindsight both had legit greviances with Max... it just dosen’t make either less terrible as the principal still told an innocnet man who wasn’t responsible for what his kid did and was trying his best that his son was going to become a crminal because of one stupid but mostly harmless prank, and Pete.. is just an abusive, unlikeable and unlovable ass in both Goof Troop and Goofy Movie, and I hate how he treats his son, don’t blame his wife for leaving him or taking their daughter and dog, and am really sad he got custody of PJ somehow. And for the record this isn’t ALL petes, just this version. The rest are fine and just the right level of asshole.

Point is despite my problems with the first film, I had none with the second and even now I like it due to having some really good ideas and concepts while also being gloirously rediclous due to the loveably dated X-Games element. While I do have a spot in my heart for the Dana Hill and Shaun Fleming versions, especially the latter once upon a christmas is awesome, Jason Marsden’s version is the best by the mile having the right amount of ego mixed with self doubt to make him likeable enough to brook him being an ass to his dad a lot. He’s a good character.. and it baffles me Disney NEVER uses him nowadays. No really, the last time he showed up was in twice upon a christmas and no one liked that because he was dating someone who wasn’t Roxanne just to rehash the same plot they’d already rehashed better in Extremley Goofy Movie. I REALLY need to rewatch that one. Hmm.... gonna see if I can squeeze that one into May or later in April. That’s for another time.

But yeah while he’s at one of the disney parks, that’s it. The character just .. vanished, and hasn’t been brought back in any way shape or form. Though I could see either a Disney Plus reboot of goof troop or a goofy movie with max having his own kids. That could be intresting. Also bring Roxanne back as weirdly this episode i’m reviewing, a goofy movie and now her ducktales cameo are her ONLY apperances.

Seriously I get she’s not the most fleshed out.. but then flesh her out. Like Max she’s crminally underused and while I get her absence as a character in the sequel, the plot really didn’t need her, he still could’ve been dating her off screen. Though clearly the two worked things out and tried again as this episode came out AFTER extremely did. But did this episode work out? Join me under the cut to find out.

As i’ve decided is my standard for House of Mouse Episodes, shorts first, then wraparound, then Mickey Mouse live sex celebration. Though I will say i’ve picked up there are two kinds of formats for the show: They either use two of the longer Mouseworks shorts or just one close to 11 minute short, a medium one, and one of the little two minute segments. There might be a break from this in the future, we shall see but for now those ar ethe two standards. This time we have two longer shorts.

Pluto’s Penthouse Sweet:

I’ve mentioned in the past I dont’ really get why Pluto is part of Disney’s sensational six along with Mickey, Minnie, Donald, Goofy and Daisy. And I stand by that: While he’s had his own cartoons they just aren’t as entertaining and creative as MIckey’s or hilarous and relatable as Donald and Goofy’s. He’s just an average cartoon dog. He works fine in tandem with Mickey, but on his own he’s just nothing and his spot should be taken by pete, who while not a goodie all the time, again the goof troop version needs to step on a rake and fall into a well.. somehow. i didn’t think my insult through. Point is pete is better. And this short isn’t BAD .. but to me it’s what some fans THINK the disney shorts are: Bland, maybe one or two good jokes but almost nothing new or intresting. As I found out last year, that’s far from the case, as a lot of the Donald shorts are still hilarious today and a lot of the mickey shorts are shockingly creative, like Thru The Mirorr where he goes .. well thru the mirror into a wonderland like world where all the inanaimate objects are alive and he can shrink and what not via astral projection, or Mickey’s Mechanical Man, which I sadly didn’t know about when I did the MIckey Birthday Special and for some reason isn’t on disne plus. In it Mickey creates a robot and has it box a monsterous looking gorillia.

How has Mickey piloting this thing but giant sized against various kaiju been a thing yet? And if it has someone tell me. Seriously with all the comics and animated series how. I’d even settle for a Wonderful World of Mickey Mouse episode. Just bring this guy back. Point is there was far more invetnion than it seemed.. at least at first as it slowly died out as they went by the late 50′s. But Pluto just seemed even in their hayday like your standard pet gets into antics thing without the creative slapstick of tom and jerry or the likeablity of sylvester who never could get that asshole Tweety Bird. This is just weak sauce and whiel I could forgive the older shorts, as their from another time and likely lead to say Tom and Jerry... I can’t forgive this which was made probably in 1998 and released in 1999 originally. Comedy had evolved a LOT by that point and unlike the Goofy how to shorts, which are a format that is immortal and still evolved to match the times and felt fresh, these just feel stale and boring and like the last Pluto short I covered this one was a chore to sit through though not nearly AS bad.

Still though the premise is about the same, Pluto’s left to his own devices, and finds a female dog, though in this case she’s VERY intrested in him. I”m also not entirley convinced she’s a dog, but instead one of Jumba’s experiments and that Lilo and Stitch later had to journey to.. wherever these shorts take place to fetch him. Or more likely the house of mouse. I mean Proud Family, Recess, American Dragon Jake Long and Kim Possible all take place int hat universe, why can’t house of mouse? Also tell me you wouldn’t watch an avengers style team consisting of Kim, Ron, Jake, Penny, Probably TJ, Lilo, Stitch and Donald Duck. If you wouldn’t i’d call you a liar because you would be.

Seriously the eyes give her away.... just look at them. Very experimenty. But before Pluto can do it like they do on the discovery channel he has to get past the guard dog.. though how he does produces the one great gag of the short, as he BUILDS A GIANT, TROJAN HORSE ESQUE PLUTO OUT OF JUNK. Just holy shit that’s awesome> It gets him inside, only for him to find his lady friend is a bit TOO affectionate and he has to escape, he does so, and MIckey wonders if he missed him etc lame button. This short was a vacuum of comedy outside of GIANT PLUTO. Seriously where’s my disney giant mecha series. YOu have five main characters, and Pluto among with MANY, MANY side characters, frmo scrooge to the boys to hopefully Della, to even possibly pete and mortimer who could have their own mech against the heroes but maybe join them in the last episode. Maybe max and pj could have some, have a father vs son thing with PJ and Pete. I”m just saying, i’d watch it. I know my nieces would watch it. I know my nephews would watch it. Greenlight it. Or i’ll make it.. somehow.

How to Ride a Bike: Speaking of the How To Shorts, as usual for the House of Mouse era ones.. this was awesome, pretty much what you’d expect, some goofy, pardon the pun, gags about goofy riding a bike and then a fun climax of him in a bike race. Not a ton to add, other than that hamster bike above is genius. Just needs some tweaking. Really funny, really simple, and really good as you’d expect from a good Goofy Short. Easily the best part of the episode.

Max’s Embarrassing Date: So this was a disapointment. Like i’d try to be nice.. but I had high hopes given this brought Roxanne back, and while the premise was stock maybe they’d do something funny with with it.

But no the plot is pretty standard, very predictable and fairly obnoxious. Max has a date with Roxanne, and is playing it cool and what not, but is worried his dad will find out.. which he somehow did offscreen. Probably Clarabelle.. I mean they do go out sometimes in this one, wouldn’t surprise me.

So Max pleads with the rest of the HOM staff to keep him away because he fears his dad will overdo things, which.. is fair and one of the few things I like> He dosen’t want him to overdo it on the mood because this is well.. a first date. He dosen’t want to pressure her or himself and just wants it to be nice and calm. The problem is it’s framed like him once again being embarassed by his dad and having to learn better.

At this point we’d had TWO movies do this already, one of which was only two years old at the time of this episode. This plot is stale as old toast even if it dind’t have goofy in it. And the twist is predictable: the HOM crew end up also overdoing it: Minnie comments on how cute they are and wants candles brought, Daisy gets them a bigger table forgetting how dates work,t hough we do get a great gag of hte 7 dwarves stacked, and Mickey while having .. some.. gopher? I honestly can’t tell who it was, usually i’m better at the cameos. Speaking of which they also have a runner of beast going on a date with Cruella Devile.

I mean is he cheating on his wife? Is she holding his wife hostage? Is this before belle because we see a post transfomratoin beast too so maybe the House of Mouse is an intersection of space and time? That’s.. actually the most resonable answer I can think of honestly and when i’m focusing more on how the hell your gag works than how funny it is, you clearly failed somewhere along the line.

Point is Mickey puts his good friend in a pothole, and not only calls max little max, which while an understnadably close family thing to do is still embarassing, but also takes pictures while their eating the spagetthi.. which i’m 100% sure was Huey’s idea nad had Mickey not interrupted, would’ve been tied up down the middle for a lady and the tramp thing. It’s his signature move. Well that and having a panic attack. That’s also one of mine the others being lettterkenny refrences and sex jokes about disney characters. But yeah this just.. dosen’t work. Them being as embarassing? that’d be fine.. if they weren’t wholly unsympathetic for not only keeping their friend from WELL INTEITONEDLY trying to help his son on his date, something his son shold have no problem with since ROXANNE’S MET HIM. AND IS FINE WITH HIM. AND NEVER CARED ABOUT YOU BEING HIS SON LIKE THE DICKHEADS AT SCHOOL. MINUS BOBBY WHO YOUR FRIENDS WITH FOR SOME REASON. My point is this plot bothers me a lot, and it makes the mickey crew come off like assholes for doing this to thier friend instead of just talking to him like a person. Especially since only ONE of them is a parent and Conviently donald is mostly absent. Likely because he realized this was going to end badly and just agreed to tie the spagetthi like huey taught him to keep his involvment in this shit show and gaslighting his best friend to a minimum.

Eventually Mickey takes things a step too far and has Sebastian almost sing kiss the girl. Max cuts him off though yelling that he just wants them to back off, he just wants them to relax and he TOLD them this, which makes them come off worse as they KNEW he didn’t want this and did it anyway and never apologize becaue apparently the first rule of house of mouse is never apologize for anything, huh huh. Goofy naturally steps in, tells them off and agrees to serve them and Roxanne finds him entertaining and gives him a nose kiss for being a good dad. He’s a good guy that Goof. Roxanne then whispers something in max’s ear at the end of the date... which gives him an audible erection. No really. And given his age is vauge here I’m suddenly super duper uncomfortable so let’s move on.

So max tells them she liked it and wants to come back.. 100% sure that wasn’t what she said but what she said isn’t fit to print and you’ve seen what i’ve said and what I put in the we’ll be right back. Point is he’s happy, though Mickey says we’ll try to make it extra special next time. Mickey.. did you do a space mountain’s worth of pills and cokea nd just forget the entire evening? Did you take some of those hangover roofies/ Why would you do that? Was that pete’s new plan to steal the house of mouse? To drug you guys and make you forget you already paid the rent? Did PJ stop him? Inquiring me wants to know.

Final Thoughts: Yeah this wasn’t a very good episode. Roxanne is wasted despite having a suitable replacment Roxanne voice in Grey Delise, with no real depth just to rehash the plot of the first and second goofy movies. And this one didn’t have an inexpilicable beatnik cafe, PJ getting laid and finally being happy for once, a standard college fraternity plot surgeically infused with an out of nowhere obession with xtreme sports that was nowhere in the first film, Goofy in an afro, Goofy finding love, That disco sequence, and a climax in which Goofy carries Brad Garret out of a fire, then Brad Garret probably kills the villian of the film who certainly deserved it. My points are this episode was an underwhelming rehash only saved by some good shippy moments and a good goofy short. It was weak, not all that funny, and not all that intersting. My other point is that an extremley goofy movie is awesome and also kinda insane and I love it for that. I’m glad I saw this one but i’m really disapointed in how bleh it was. Next time I visit the house of mouse is.. actually in a few days as Pete Does a One Man Show. So yeah already 100% better just by having THAT musical number in it, see you then and if not, there’s always another rainbow.

#house of mouse #max goof #roxanne #the goofy movie #max x roxanne #goofy goof #goofy #donald duck #mickey mouse #minnie mouse #daisy duck #cruella de vil #beast #disney #comissions

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ateezmakemeweep · 5 years

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four in the morning.

yunho x reader; strangers to lovers

word count: 11k

angst, fluff, smut

10:05 p.m.

you never wanted a public proposal. you had told your boyfriend every time you saw someone get down on one knee in times square on new year's eve or in front of cinderella's castle at disney world that you would absolutely die if he did that to you.

and maybe it speaks to your naivety, to your complete disregard of just how shitty he's treated you over these past five years, that you thought that would ever be a problem in your relationship. because he's the guy who ditches you for his friends and religiously forgets date night, who falls asleep right after extremely unsatisfying sex that has you faking orgasms, who doesn't answer your texts all day but freely like posts on instagram.

and evidently, he's also the guy who breaks up with his girlfriend in the middle of dinner.

because one second the waitress is putting down the dessert, a tiramisu cheesecake you were drooling just thinking about all night, and then the next, before she's even out of ears reach, he blurts out, "we should break up."

you don't even say anything at first, just stare blankly and shake your head because he didn't just that. he wouldn't say that. not today on this day and not right now in this setting.

"wh-what?"

but he doesn't miss a beat.

"i've been thinking about it for a while, y/n," he says to you, leaning on his hand like this whole conversation is about to be a bore. "i just...we've been together for so long and i'm really kind of...sick of it."

"you're... you're sick of it?" you squeak.

"well yeah, i mean it's been four years and i don't wanna lie and say i feel like i'm still in love with y-"

"five."

"what?" he asks, looking at you in pure and utter confusion and you don't know if you feel more heartbroken or angry at this very moment.

"five. we've been together for five years," you tell him, voice too calm and composed for how you're feeling inside. "in fact, today marks our fifth year together. but you didn't remember that, did you?"

you think you would've felt better if he showed some sort of regretful or guilty reaction, his mouth dropping open or face lighting up like the date sent off alarm bells in that stupid little head of his. but nothing. just a thoughtful nod, like you told him the food was good or you needed another drink.

"oh," he says with a small shrug, "well five years then, even longer than i thought. see, y/n, i'm just over it. i'm over this relationship and i'm over being someone's boyfriend."

"hm....hm," is all you hum because you refuse to make a warner and elle woods type of scene in this restaurant right now. but your burning throat and shaking hands want so badly to do something. to scream and curse at him or throw that cake right in his face or maybe even slap him for being so cold and harsh and detached.

"are you mad?"

a laugh bubbles out of your mouth now and anyone around can probably hear how unhinged it sounds, like you're a second away from having some sort of breakdown or bursting into tears and screaming.

"am i mad?" you ask, a cold edge finally seeping into your tone. "am i mad my boyfriend just broke up with me, in public, at our anniversary dinner? are you seriously fucking asking me that?" you grunt out the words through clenched teeth, lowering your voice when you let the profanity slip out.

"well...yeah," he says dopily, "i still care about you as a person. i just- don't wanna be in a relationship anymore. i kind of figured i was making it obvious these past few weeks."

"then why wouldn't you have just told me the second you had these thoughts!" you spit and now the volume of your voice is considerably louder. "why make me wait and then do it at this very moment!"

"i-i don't know, i didn't really know how or when was a good time to tell you."

"oh, well thank god you waited, this was truly ideal," you growl sarcastically.

and then, like he has any right to be offended or upset, he lets out a scoff. "look, i'm sorry but this is what i want....i'll still pay for dinner if that's what you're-"

"you think i give a single fuck if you pay for dinner!"

you finally break whatever composure you were channeling, voice breaking and raising and causing the several groups of people to look in your direction. some of them are subtle with their side-eyes and whispers while others are full on staring, mouths agape with looks of pity and you wouldn't be surprised if you find a video of this on the internet later.

"what is your problem," he says, "i said i'm sorry but you really can't be that-"

"leave," you tell him, quietly now, with your head down and eyes on the table. "i'll take care of it. just please...get away from me."

there's a few beats of silence before he mumbles something along the lines of "whatever," deeply sighing like this is actually causing him any distress, like he's the one who has to stay here with lingering gazes and pitiful stares. you think he might take a breath to say something else but then ultimately decides against it, the squeaking of a chair and heavy foot steps walking away indicating you're finally alone.

and it's during that time your tears start falling, your head hung and hand cupping your forehead so the people around you don't get more of a show.

maybe a part of you knew deep down that the relationship was gonna be over, that it really should've been for your sake and you were just too scared to accept it. but it was just the manner in which he did it, so coldly and out of nowhere, like the past five years didn't mean anything to him. and you can't deny the sickening parallel to years of you telling him you didn't want him to fucking propose to you in public and then going and dumping you at one of your favorite resturants.

"i'm so stupid, oh my, god, i'm so fucking stupid," you mumble out, voice wobbly and wet before you feel the presence of the waitress at your side. you peak up at her as she bends down holding out a packet of tissues, a sympathetic look on her face that has you realizing she probably watched the whole thing go down.

"you're not stupid, baby, don't say that," she says, placing her hand on your arm comfortingly.

you thank her quietly for the tissues, taking one out and dapping at your wet face. "i'm sorry, this is so embarrassing," you squeak out, "i'm gonna pay the bill don't worry, i just...i needed him to leave."

"no, i'm so sorry that just happened. i can't believe he thought that was okay."

you sniffle as you scrunch up the tissue. "i-i know," you say, "i mean i knew he was an asshole but he really just...our anniversary dinner! and during dessert! i was so excited for this cake."

she laughs softly at your sad whine, placing down the tissue packet and moving the plate closer to you. "well, you can still be excited. don't you dare let him ruin this tiramisu." you're pleastantly surprised when a small chuckle leaves your mouth, wiping at your face with your wrist.

"you're right, he can't taint it," you say before catching the side glances of people surrounding you, "but i think i have to get out of here before i cause any more of a disturbance."

she nods her head sympathetically, urging you to take a few bites and that she'll bring the check right over.

you keep your head down as embarrassed tears threaten to fall again, the feeling like a milllion eyes are on you making you feel even more awkward and unsettled; you're sure it's just paranoia but you swear you can feel eyes boring into the side of your face, someone probably laughing and mocking and feeling so incredibly sorry for your pitiful situation.

sorry enough that when the waitress comes back, she tells you someone has already paid for your bill. your eyes widen upon hearing the news, looking around curiously and stuttering out incoherent bits of sentences.

"who?" is the only clear thing you're able to ask.

"i don't know, he just left," she tells you, "brown-haired guy. very tall. cute, too." you feel her hand on the back of your chair when you stand up. "and i'm sorry again, honey. i didn't charge you for the cake but i hope to see you in here again enjoying it," she adds on quietly.

you give her a grateful smile and nod, assuring her you'll definitely be back before rushing out to catch up with the mysterious man who just dropped well over $100 on two complete strangers. and luckily, you don't have to look very far. because there he is, all dark hair and broad shoulders, leant against the side of the building with a lit cigarette hanging from his mouth.

he sees your teary-gaze meet his and his lips quirk up ever so slightly before he flicks the ashes and begins to turn around. but your low "hey!" stops him in his tracks. he cranes his neck back to look at you, the sky dark around you both but the light from the streetpoles clearly showing both of your expressions.

his is unnervingly blank, only a flicker of soft sympathy in his eye while your own, still heartbroken, also holds a curious, maybe even a wary look. because why would this stranger do that? could he have felt that bad?

you make your way up to him, feeling slightly intimidated when he fully turns around and you see just how much he towers over you. but it's funny because his face is shockingly...sweet looking, like a fresh-faced boy you'd see in church or volunteering at a nursing home.

but then his large stature, the shoulders you can't stop eyeing, his all black attire mixed with the scent of cigarette smoke and cologne makes for a very strange contrast. even his voice, when he finally mumbles back a "hi," is sweet sounding.

"why did you...the waitress said you paid my bill." your tone is quiet and small but still manages to sound accusatory.

"i did, i'm sorry," he says and you're wondering if the pink flush on his cheeks is from the cold. "i hope you didn't mind." you find yourself staring at him blankly, eyebrows pinched together because...did he really just apologize for that?

"i...well no but..i..it was probably expensive," you eventually get out, "you didn't have to do that."

"well, neither did he," yunho mumbles and you can tell by the airiness in his tone he didn't mean anything bad by it. but it doesn't stop your face from dropping slightly, lips pressing into a firm line to distract yourself from your stinging eyes.

"i'm sorry, that was insensitive," he winces, the sincerity in his tone only confirming your thoughts. "but i just... i wanted to pay for it. why should you have?"

you swallow the lump in your throat, shrugging your shoulders lightly because you don't really know what to say back to that.

"because i'm the one who got dumped," you squeak out before a humorless laugh bubbles out of you. "dumped on our anniversary. how pathetic is that?"

"it's pathetic of him," the boy grunts out and you cock your head to the side at how mad he sounds.

"i-i guess..." you say after a few quiet seconds before words start pouring out of you. "i just.. can't believe it. i don't know what i'm gonna do now. i've been with him for so long and got so used to him and then he really went and-" your voice breaking cuts off your sentence, like it's finally hitting you that the relationship is over.

because no matter how bad it was, it was still something you put years of yourself into. years of effort and years of memories and you feel so stupid for feeling this upset when there's far more bad than good.

"i'm sorry, you definitely don't wanna hear this," you laugh out humorlessly as tears sting your eyes. "but...i just wanted to thank you for paying the bill. i wish i could make it up to you somehow, it was probably expensive."

you meet his gaze to see him smiling slightly at you, even though you're on the verge of a breakdown and talking far too much.

"you're welcome," he says before hesitantly continuing. "i was gonna go walk around for a bit. do you wanna join?"

when you look up at him with a wary expression, he puts his hands up in defense, eyes soft and wide as he shakes his head. "it might clear your head a little, that's all."

your fragile heart warms at the gesture but you find yourself declining, insisting you're not the best company right now and that'd he probably regret inviting you.

"i don't think so," he says and his voice is just so kind that you're questioning if he's even real, questioning why on earth this stranger seems to care about your wellbeing. and when he sees you're still teetering, teeth sunk into your lip as you look at him with conflict in your eyes, a sweet smile spreads across his face.

"c'mon, you said you wanted to make it up to me."

your lips purse to the side, eyebrow raised ever so slightly before letting out a quiet sigh. "okay... but don't say i didn't warn you."

his smile widens as his long arms come out to showcase the sidewalk in front of him and you find yourself giggling slightly at his dramatics. you take one last look back at the restaurant before exhaling sharply and feeling his looming presence next to you as you both begin to walk.

"so....were you there with friends tonight?" you chirp, hoping to distract your impending nervousness with conversation.

he tells you he had met his mom there for dinner, who brought along his new step-father he can't help but detest. but he sat politely all throughout the appetizer and main course until one too many ignorant and snappy comments had him putting the man in his place.

"he was also mean to the waitress which is why i eventually snapped," he tells you. and by snapped, he means lowly speaking for him to either find some manners or piss off. "my mom asked for the check so fast and they left within five minutes. so i stayed for a drink."

"i could so use a drink right now," you laugh out, "but it sounds like you were in the right. you're just all types of chivarlous, huh?"

you peak up at him to see a smirk cross his face, his eyes falling to you at the same time and pink covers both your cheeks at being caught. but you and him will pretend it's because of the harsh winds whipping through the city; yes, the whipping wind, definitely not the soft curious gazes and arms bumping into each other clumsily.

"what made that obvious?"

you shake your head as another giggle falls from your lips, tightening the sweater around your body when a particularly harsh breeze pelts into you again. and of course, the boy next to you immediately notices, hears the clattering of your teeth and sharp intake of breath.

"you cold?"

"no, i'm okay," you squeak out. but you already see his movements from the corner of your eye taking off the black bomber jacket.

"please don't give me your coat, i can not-"

but it's already placed around your shoulders before you can finish your sentence, a knowing smirk on his lips when you huff at him, exasperated.

"....i was gonna say your name but it appears i don't even know it."

his deep chuckle rings through the air, stopping his feet so he can properly put his hand out.

"i'm yunho."

"y/n," you say back, taking his large hand in yours and what an innapropriate time for you to admire its sheer size and the length of his fingers. "you're... nice, too nice."

his smile widens looking down at you, hands still intertwined as he cocks his head to the side. "because i gave a cold girl my jacket?"

"and paid for her bill. and welcomed her on a walk," you say, "i'm wondering how much more i can get out of your very obvious pity."

his smile falters, eyebrows knitting as he shakes his head. "i'm not doing this out of pity."

the firm way in which he says it has you lowering your head shyly, eyes on the concrete as you take the hand in his back. all of your emotions are out of wack tonight, your chest not knowing how to feel, broken and aching over that awful dinner but also...slightly warmed by the actions of this random boy.

"then why are you doing it?" your voice sounds so small and it makes a frown cover his face now.

"can't i just be nice to you?" he asks, "why do i need a reason?"

"because we're...strangers," you say, looking up at him hesitantly and pressing your lips together nervously, "and you don't know me."

"everyone's strangers until they're not," he retorts, stepping just a smidge closer to you and it makes you swallow down the dry patch in your throat. "and maybe i want to know you."

when you can't find the words to respond, heart racing and throat clogged, he speaks up again.

"let me distract you tonight."

your eyebrow raises, head turning to the side because you don't know what to make of that comment. because you know you're vulnerable right now, know you should probably go home and cope normally in the form of crying and ice cream.

but you trust him for some reason. trust his soft voice and kind eyes and the way he seems so genuine and pure despite his dark appearance.

"what do you have in mind?" you find yourself asking, stomach fluttering and whether it's from nervousness or his bright smile, you don't know.

"could you still use a drink?"

12:22 a.m

"okay, i think....this is a weeeee bit unsafe!" you say as you stumble up the stairs behind him, his hand pulling you carefully by one of your fingers.

"probably," he says, "but we'll be okay."

the sound of a door squeaking open is the first thing you hear, the harsh whipping of wind the next as your hair blows back and coldness envelops your body. yunho bends to stick a brick in the door before guiding you to the middle of the rooftop.

the dark sky is lit by faint lights shining from apartment buildings and bulletin boards, the only sound an occasional honk of a horn making it's way up the 20 stories. you disconnect your hands to stumble over to the edge, placing them on the cold concrete to peer your head over. you take in the sight of tall buildings and taxis and little figures of people walking the streets.

"heeelllooo!" you scream down at them, your hands cupping your mouth in hopes someone will hear you. yunho's laugh echoes through the sky, quickly walking over to place a hand on your lower back.

"be careful."

you turn around, back now resting on the ledge as you poke his chest lightly. "you're the one that said we'll be okay," you mutter, lowering your voice to imitate his words. "because i'm big and strong and a suspiciously nice boy."

"okay, nice you told me," he says, voice teasing as he stares down at you with bright eyes. "but big and strong, you say?"

"very big and very strong," you say, letting your finger travel from his chest to his shoulder. he watches your eyes follow your hand, roaming from one side of him to the other before meeting his eyes. and it's like his gaze acts as an electric shock, your hand immediately falling from the black material.

"and i had very too much drink."

he smiles down at you, making sure to stay close because he'd be lying if he said you being so close to the edge didn't make him nervous. and perhaps this wasn't his best idea, bringing you up to the roof of his apartment complex after you had one too many beers.

but it's a nice place to clear your head, to take in the sights of the city in a less noisy and crowded way. and he thinks you could use that after the night you had, after the night he couldn't help but hear take place as he sat alone at the bar.

he had ohad a perfect view of you all night. you caught his eye the second he sat down, your shy smile and the way you fidgeted nervously with your hair making him not being able to tear his gaze away.

but then he'd heard the bored tone of the guy across from you, the way he was barely entertaining the conversation and just avoided all your softly spoken questions. he had tightened his grip around the beer bottle one too many times, sick and tired of asshole men who never learned how to respect other people.

"i just wanted my cheesecake."

your sudden whine rips him from his thoughts and he can't help the smirk creeping up on his face.

"which one? the tiramisu?"

it's your surprised gasp and bright eyes that has a smile stretching across his face and your own heart warms upon seeing it. because he is super cute.

"yes! oh, my gosh, yes!" you giggle, "have you had it?"

"every time i go," he chuckles out, "except tonight."

"me too," you say and the sudden thought that he wants to kiss the pout off your face comes into his head. but that would absolutely absurd because he's only known you two hours and you just got broken up with and you're a bit tipsy; there's just far too many reasons for him not to do it.

so he lifts his hand to your mouth, his thumb and pointer finger lifting your face into a smile. you giggle against his hand, opening your mouth playfully and pretending to bite it but he quickly rips it away.

"hey!" his voice is deep but teasing and it makes you squeal as you drunkely trot away from him. in fear that you'll somehow stumble over the edge, he chases after you but the sound of his feet causes you to speed up. your laugh echoes on the rooftop, his own deep chuckles and pleas of "stop!" ringing through the air.

and he wishes you would've listened because no less than ten seconds later do you trip over your shoe lace, stumbling and crashing down right on your side. he yelps your name, rushing over and is grateful to see your head didn't ricochet off the concrete.

"oops," you giggle out, rolling onto your back as you rub at your side. he kneels over you, assessing your face for any injuries and sighing in relief when you're unscathed. but then you sit up, looking around in a daze before your eyes land on the untied white lace.

"okay so not my fault....my shoe was untied."

"i see that," yunho laughs out, tapping his large hand on his knee. you look at him with a small unsure smile.

"let me tie you up."

your eyes widen for a split second, mouth dropping open and you see how bright red his face his face gets even in the dark.

"your shoe! let me tie your shoe up! so you don't fall again." you plop your foot down with a nervous laugh and watch his long fingers double knot your laces before gently placing it down. "next one," he says with a smile, "just in case."

you purse your lips to the side to hide your own, sticking your foot on him before laying back on the cold ground. he plops on his butt after he finishes tying the second shoe, watching you lay there and he hopes you don't fall asleep.

a few moments pass before he hears your quiet voice.

"what'd you say?" he asks, leaning his head towards you. but now it's his eyes that are widening, your hand pulling him by his sweater and if he didn't put his arms out, he probably would've fallen right on top of you. his large figure rolls off, laying right beside you just as you speak again.

"stars," you slur, "i wish we could see them here." because you're just staring at the black abyss, the crescent shaped moon the only thing beaming down at you. but what you'd give to see a sky full of twinkling stars, because there's a sense of wonder in them that always makes you feel better.

"i know, that'd be nice," he sighs. and it's a thought he's also had when he'd sneak up here. whether it was after rough days or okay days or great days, he always found solace up here. but he always thought, especially on those particular nights he felt gloomy, that the stars would've been good company.

"what made you take me up here, anyway?" you hum curiously.

he moves his gaze, watching you look at the sky and he feels his chest tighten. because it's like the moon is reflecting in your eyes, the only source of light shining down on you as you look up and take it all in. and even though your cheeks are red from the wind and tears and your hair is windblown and knotty, "you're beautiful."

he says it so lowly that you wouldn't have heard it if a harsh blow of wind whipped through the air. but because it didn't, because everything up here is now still and unmoving, you crane your neck to look at him.

"what?"

his cheeks flush ever so slightly because he did not mean to blurt that out. but he got lost in his admiration, in the way you looked so angelic and at peace and content and now he really has to work on answering you.

"i'm sorry," he says, voice sounding breathy and flustered. "i meant....i mean, i don't know, really. i just think it's a nice place to get away for a bit."

he thinks he might've scared you off by his compliment, watching you turn your head back to the sky and remain silent for a few beats of time. his brain is screaming at him now that you're gonna jump up and run away and think his intentions were anything but pure. but then his brain and body relax when your soft voice begins to speak up.

"it is," you squeak quietly, "i...think this was a good first choice."

"first choice?"

your head snaps to look at him again, a smile on your face at just his presence next to you. because he's the type of person who has a light around them, who makes you feel at ease and whose soul you just know is good.

"well yeah," you squeak out, "i have you as a distraction all night, right?"

a big smile of his own brightens his face and you feel your heart flutter, jumping and shifting at the way he just looks so happy.

"you do."

"well, i have our second place in mind. but we might have to take a taxi," you explain to him, "on me, of course."

"no need," he says, "this is actually my apartment building. my car is downstairs."

you huff out as your eyes roll and he chuckles when you stare at him with a pained expression.

"what?"

"you're too chivalrous!" you whine, smacking his chest lightly as you cross your legs. he only smiles as he shakes his head at you. but his heart hurts because the bare minimum for you would probably seem like an act of chivarly.

"fine. i'll drive myself there and you can walk," he teases, poking your kneecap lightly when he says the word 'you'.

"deal," you giggle and he bites his lip at the sound, placing his large arm behind his head before you continue. "but first..."

he watches you unzip his jacket, fishing inside of it before whipping out two beer bottles with a smile. "i'd like to finish these, if that's okay."

"did you smuggle those out?!" he asks, humor in his tone as he leans up on his elbows.

"well, i paid for them of course!" you squeak, cheeks heating up at the way he's looking at you with his soft eyes and red cheeks. but then it occurs to you why his poor face is probably bright red. "and since we're at your house now....can i please ask something of you?"

he raises his eyebrow at you.

"please get yourself a jacket."

2:38 a.m.

he'd been driving for a little over an hour when you quietly alert him that you've almost arrived. he'd been led to a suburban area, brick houses lined with garden gnomes and mini vans in a quiet town. he smiles when he drives around the corner and sees a fenced in playground, two jungle gyms equipped with monkey bars and slides as well as a swingset in the farthest corner.

"ah, so this is destination 2?"

"yeah..." he hears you mumble quietly, "do you think it's stupid?"

he looks over at you when he hears the almost whispered tone in your voice, eyes staring down at your lap with your hands tucked into one another tightly. it seems like you think he's gonna berate you, like you're reliving some sort of bad memory and expecting history to repeat itself.

so without thinking, he reaches out with his hand and places it over yours. the unexpected warmth causes you to jump, looking up at him with glossy, hazed eyes.

"of course not," he says softly and you swallow the lump in your throat. "i'm pleasantly surprised. i haven't been on a playground in forever."

the smallest of smiles makes its way on your face, whipping your head back to the park and wiggling your feet. "me either," you mumble.

"then let's go, shall we?" he hums, removing his hand from yours as he turns off the car and opens his door to get out. you just manage to place your hand on the handle when five seconds later, he's opening and holding the passenger side door for you.

"i'm not even gonna say it," you mumble before thanking him quietly. he chuckles as he follows you to one side of the park, a gaping hole in the fence that easily allows the average sized body to slip through. but it proves a bit more challengingly for him, a giggle leaving your mouth as you take him by the hand and pull him the rest of the way in.

"i forgot you're a giant."

he scoffs playfully at you, running past you to get to the swings first. but you're sluggish in your movements, teetering and eyes heavy because you really shouldn't have had those two drinks. you were hoping it'd liven your spirits, make you more fun and playful.

but it appears when you're as sad as you are, the fun parts of drinking get skipped over and the sorrow you're feeling only heightens. and the boy smiling at you on the swing is making it easier, the way he talked and laughed with you in the car, the way he's parading you around and keeping you company so you're not lonely and sad. but you still feel it, feel like you're being crushed by the pain in your chest and torn in two different directions.

"i shouldn't have drank," you whine, taking a seat on the swing and leaning your head against the cool chain. your statement immediately has his eyes widening, his feet stopping on the gravel and looking at you.

"why?" he asks, slight panic in his voice, "are you gonna puke?"

"no," you giggle out slightly as you shake your head. "i just...i know my company's about to get pretty depressing." you swallow the lump forming in your throat, feeling tight and like you're about to choke on it. "your distractions have been....great but i'm still feeling so- i don't know why i'm-"

you feel his hands on your knee, the warmth radiating through your pants as he's bent down and looking at you with those kind brown eyes.

"hey, it's okay," he says softly and it has tears stinging behind your own because he looks at you nicer than he ever did and here you are crying over that waste when you could be getting to know him. "it'd be unusual if you didn't, y/n, it just happened."

your teeth dig into your lip to stop it from trembling, sniffling against the cold air. "i guess...i brought him here once you know."

"yeah?"

his heart wrenches seeing you stare down at your lap dejectedly, moving your foot in small circles that his thumbs micmic on your knee. and that's the way you stay for a while, in the cold silence together as he stays bent down rubbing your knee, your eyes trailing from your lip to his long fingers that have such a gentle touch.

"when we first started dating," you finally say quietly because it was probably one the first red flags that he wasn't gonna be the best boyfriend. you'd been dating for two months, driving back into the city after his first time meeting your parents when you asked him if you could show him one of your favorite places.

and you don't know why you were so surprised when he laughed at you, raised an eyebrow and scoffed because 'why would a grown adult wanna go to a playground?'

"did he like it?" he asks, seeing that you're in your head again.

"of course not," you laugh out humorlessly, "he thought it was so stupid. asked why either of us would even wanna go here when we're full grown adults. but i...i don't know, i came here all the time when i was younger and wanted to show him. i though it'd be fun."

he forgets he's holding onto your knee so you look down when he squeezes it between his large hand, eyes tight and jaw slightly clenched as he shakes his head.

"he's the stupid one," yunho bites into the cold air, "you wanted to show him something meaningful and he couldn't see that."

you shrug as a quiet sigh leaves your mouth. you don't even know why you keep talking but words just keep falling out of you, making you even more mopey and sad and you know he's absolutely regretting this. regretting spending his night with a whiney loser who can't stay out of her own sad head, who doesn't ever know what to say back so you lapse into silence while uncomfortable thoughts plague your mind.

"would you break up with someone like that?" he hears your voice ask lowly and his stomach twists at your question. because it was so random and out of nowhere, he knows you've probably been mulling over everything for these past few silent minutes.

"would you just spring it on a person like that? at a restaurant in front of people?"

he doesn't even have to think about his response.

"no," he mumbles truthfully, "i...don't think i could ever."

you sniffle because you had known that would be his answer. he's nice and kind and everything you wanted your boy....ex-boyfriend to be.

"but i've also never broken up with anyone before," he shares quietly.

you wipe at the lone tear that finally escaped your eye, cringing when you see your makeup on his jacket.

"oh? but you've had a girlfriend before, right?"

when he doesn't answer, your eyes widen and you quickly correct yourself when you meet his gaze. "or boyfriend..."

a small smile crosses his face as he shakes his head. "it'd be girlfriend..." he says teasingly, "but no... i've never really dated anyone, officially. just flings and stuff."

"why?" you squeak out and his eyes flicker to you, roaming your face to see an avid curiosity in your wide, glossy eyes.

"i don't know," he says honestly and he wishes he had a better answer for you. "it's not like i haven't wanted one...i just never found the right person, i guess."

you can only hum thoughtfully, nodding as you take in this new bit of information. because how is it possible that he can't manage to find the right person?

"well who would that be then?"

when he looks up from your knees, he sees you looking down at him with your head back against the chain. and if was anyone else, he'd think they were asking coyly. like they were trying flirt or be tempting.

but he knows that's not the case, even if he wants it to be.

"someone good," he says after thinking about it for a second, "someone i can have fun with but also be serious with. just someone...genuine and sweet, who i know deserves the best."

"you just described yourself," you mumble and he can't help the laugh that bubbles out of him.

"yeah? i thought that kind of sounded like someone else here," he responds lowly, his deep voice causing your gaze to meet his. you bite your lip nervously at the eye contact and any other time it'd make you nervous and fidgety. but now, because you're in the state you're in, you can't look away.

and it's a state he knows you're in as well which is what causes him to look away and stand up, moving himself behind you until his hands meet the middle of your back. you jump in surprise, craning your neck back to look at him.

but before you can ask him what's happening, you start flying into the air. you let out a small squeal as you tighten your hold on the chains, his large hands pushing on your back as you swing.

"don't fall again!"

"well, a warning would've been nice!" you squeak before another uncontrollable laugh cuts you off.

"that's not as fun."

he continues to push you until you whine for him to sit down next to you, pumping your legs as you two fight to get higher. but when he leans his head back a few minutes later and catches a glimpse of the dark sky, he's halting and grabbing you to stop the swing.

"what're you doing, cheater! i was winning!"

"come with me."

he grabs your hand and leads you over to the jungle gym, guiding you up to the highest platform before craning his neck up.

"what're you doing?" you ask as you mimic him before a gasp cuts you off. because the exposed ceiling of the playground shows off the sky full of bright twinkling stars, the lack of light pollution from the bustling city allowing you to see just what you're robbed of every night.

"the stars!" you squeal, looking at him excitedly and he feels his chest constrict like it has every time that bright smile comes out. "they're so pretty."

"they are," he mumbles, watching you plop down on the cold floor and lay out to stargaze. he smiles softly before joining you, bending his legs so he fits on the platform. and just like on the rooftop, your arms press together but neither of you make any attempts to move them.

and then if your head somehow ends up grazing his shoulder, he only peaks down with a smile that matches your own.

4:10 a.m.

once the cold got too much, lips chapped and hands red, you both ran to the car and waited anxiously for the heat to crank up. there was a sense in the air that your time wasn't over yet, neither one of you mentioning going home or ending the night despite the early morning hours creeping around.

so it's why you ended up picking up food at a 24-hour conveience store, crumps of snacks and water bottles littering the floor of his car. why you're both just pulled over on the side of the empty highway, the occurence of another flashing pair of headlights rare.

"so what do you usually do on a friday night?" you chirp as your feet rest on the dashboard, "you know, when you're not accompanying a weepy dumpee?"

"don't call yourself that," he laughs out, "but usually just at one of my friends. we're a boring bunch so you've actually spiced up my night."

"now i know that's a lie," you quip, poking his arm lightly and the sound of his deep chuckle has your cheeks heating. he is cute.

"it's not," he assures turning his head to the side to throw you a wink. "and thank you."

your body freezes as a gasp leaves your mouth, snapping your head to look at him. he doesn't laugh because of how wide your eyes are, how shocked and horrified you look that you just said that aloud, but he really wants to.

"i...i didn't say- oh, my god."

"what's so bad about that? i blurted out that you were beautiful two hours into meeting," he says, embarassment laced in his tone.

your cheeks heat at the memory, a shy smile on your face as you look down to hide the bright blush. it's daring on his part, daring to reach out and lift your face, rub his thumb along the warm skin and smile softly as he does so.

"why are you hiding?"

"because you're crazy," you say lowly, quietly, and you're cursing the dinner and the way this sweet boy affects you for your low self-esteem ruining the car's atmosphere.

"fine, i'm crazy," he says, "but you're still bea-"

"i'm not," you interupt quietly, before he can say those words and warm your heart and make you wanna kiss him. because that would be a terrible idea. even though you want to, even though you've developed the fastest crush in history and it would be so easy to just scoot over a few inches, move your head in just a little and-

"why? because he broke up with you?"

you bite your lip at the reminder, roaming over his face that's unwavering and serious. dark eyes looking into yours, focused on nothing but you with his hand still on your cheek. you swallow the ball forming in your throat as he waits for you to answer.

"yes," you mumble, feeling your eyes gloss over before you move your face to look back out the window. he sighs next to you and you can feel his gaze on you, boring into you and the tightness in your throat is almost suffocating you.

"i'm sorry, y/n, but you have to know-"

"stop it," you mumble brokenly, "please stop."

"why," he says softly and he's surprised by himself for pushing you. but he can't help it, not as he watches your fleeting moments of happiness fade in and out the way they have all night, sees your eyes water and hands start to fidget.

there's only a tense silence in the car for the next few moments, your eyes out the window and his on you as he watches your fingers fold into each other.

"he didn't deserve you," he suddenly says and you look up with your eyebrows furrowed, a humorless laugh leaving your mouth.

"how could you say that, you don't even know him," you mumble, hating that you're sitting here and defending him. and for what? you already knew he was the worst.

"from the things you've told me. from what i saw and heard with my own ears," he tells you quietly. "i...he acted as if he wanted to be anywhere else but with you. and i just couldn't imagine why. because you seemed so... sweet and happy to be there with him."

you swallow nervously at his intense gaze and words, reaching out to fumble with the heat because it just got uncomfortably warm in here.

"why are you saying these things?" you ask suddenly, snapping your head up to look at him. "why are you still being so nice to me?"

he lets out a strangled sigh, his hard eyes looking you over and it makes something in you burn.

"i get it, you feel bad and wanted to play the knight in shining armor for a pathetic girl. but i can't take it, tonight. i can't take you...saying these things to me and not meaning it. just saying it out of pity."

"that wasn't why i did it," he's quick to say and there's something building in the air, a light buzzing as you become more snappy and he becomes more adament to prove himself to you. "and how do you know i don't mean it? i never felt pity for you."

"because it doesn't make any sense," you squeak out brokenly, "you're...you and i'm just some sad girl who can't keep her boyfriend interested enough to remember their fucking anniversary. can't keep her boyfriend happy enough to wanna stay with her and instead be dumped at-"

it's his large hand grabbing your jaw that starts it. halts your words and connects your gazes and has shaky, strangled breaths leaving your mouth. has him mumbling "stop it," through gritted teeth and you snarling a firm, "no."

and it could've been him bringing you forward or you pulling him closer but somehow, after a few beats of lingering gazes and breathy sighs, your lips connect.

at first neither of you even realized what happened, lips instinctually moving against one another and eyes shutting. his hand moves to your cheek and yours move to his shoulder, squeezing it lightly to ground yourself, make sure this is really happening because apparently the warm tingly feeling in your body isn't proof enough.

but it's what makes him rips himself away from you, chest heaving up and down from the adrenline of acting upon the feelings and actions he wanted to the moment he saw your smile on the rooftop.

"i'm sorry," he breaths out, eyes trained on the steering wheel, "i shouldn't have done that."

and if he thinks he shouldn't have done that, then you certainly don't think crawling over the console to straddle his lap would be the next appropriate move. but you do because it's like the second your lips met, you realized just how much you wanted and needed that.

his body freezes, back pressed right up against the black leather seat when watches you climb over. he looks down at you, dark eyes with a mix of agony and surprise and he's trying so hard to remain the nice, gentle boy he's been all night.

but then you bunch his shirt up between your hands, pull him down a few inches from your lips and mumble a plea to kiss you again against his mouth that has your lips crashing into one another again. his arms wrap around your waist hesitantly, your back arching when you feel how big his hands feel on your back, the warmth from his skin penetrating through your shirt. and it's all the encouragement he needs to tighten his hold around you, part his mouth and allow his tongue to sweep across your lips.

you stiffle a moan at the intrusion, meet his with yours as you slightly roll your hips on him. "y/n..." he groans against your lips but you only hum against them, body buzzing and the sound of heavy breathing fanning throughout the car only is only making you more willing to kiss him, to press yourself against his body and give yourself over to him.

but he quickly stops again, disconnecting your lips and squeezing your hips lightly. "wait..we shouldn't ...i don't wanna make you-"

"please," you say breathlessly, almost like a whine because your desire had been harboured by sadness but you now you don't even care. not with the feeling of him under you and the taste of him lingering on your lips and the way he's looking at you. "i want you."

"this isn't how how or why i wanted to distract you," he grunts out, "i swear i didn't-"

"yunho," you say, eyes boring into his and when he looks at you with wide, questioning eyes, you place a peck on his lips. "shut up."

and shut up he does when you bring his face down to yours, grinding his hips up into you at your eagerness and a tiny moan leaves your mouth at the feeling. because you feel the hint of a bulge and now arousal is just pounding through you.

your hands move to his hair, pulling and tugging and grinding against him and you hadn't realized how pent up sexually you were. and like the man under you has transformed into a new person, you just about faint when he disconnects your lips and mumbles against them, "he wasn't fucking you right, was he?"

your hazy, half-lidded gaze moves to him and you swallow at how different he looks. messy hair, red lips, dark eyes looking at you with such an intense, lustful gaze. and his voice, his deep and almost condescending tone causing wetness to pool between your legs.

"no," you whine out frustratedly.

"i can tell," he mutters teasingly and the way he says it makes your stomach flutter. his lips trail against your neck, kissing down and down as you lean your head back and bite your lips to suppress a moan.

"i'm gonna make you feel good, make you moan my name and come on my tongue and then fuck you right," he says pulling away from your neck to make you look at him, "is that good, baby? is that what you want?"

his dick twitches when he sees your roused hair and flushed face, eyes glossy and lips abused from his kiss and your teeth.

"hm?" he mutters again when you can only stare at him as your chest heaves.

"yes," you moan out and you can't believe how quickly you've fallen so needy and wet, "please."

"yes what?" he growls, "say my name."

"yunho. yes, yunho, please."

he lays you down on the seat, sliding it all the way back until he has just enough leg room to crouch down by the floor. he snakes his hands up your legs and thighs slowly, rubbing along your core and smiling when you thrash and twitch on the seat.

"are you gonna be wet for me, baby? i hope that's what i'm gonna see."

"yes, yunho," you repeat and he sharply inhales at how quickly you've learned to listen, how eager you are to respond and how you're already widening your legs.

"you're such a good girl, you know that?" he hums, undoing your pants with his fingers and you make sure to crane your neck to watch him. and it doesn't get lost on him either, smirking as his tugs your pants down to mid-thigh and you moan in response. your eyes roll back when you see his long finger trail against your wet lace thong and he has to surpress the growl in his throat.

"look at these," he hums moving them to the side just a little to graze your wetness and licks his lips when he feels his fingers get slick with your arousal.

"you," you gasp out, desperate for his touch or his tongue or just to feel him do anything but teasingly have his finger on you. "for you."

"yeah?" he mumbles, slowly moving around your dripping slit and you swallow down a loud moan. "you know. i wanted to kiss you all night," he hums, sliding your soaked thong down slowly and kissing in your inner thigh, "but i didn't think i'd get this lucky."

and with that, his hair grazes your stomach as he dips his head and places his tongue on your clit, lapping over it before trailing down to lick and taste more of you.

"holy shit," you gasp out and it only causes his tongue's assault to build frantically, sucking and licking and moaning against your wetness as he mumbles how good you taste. your hand moves to his hair, pulling and twisting the strands of hair and then gripping it harshly when you feel his finger slide into you.

"yunho," you screech out and you catch his eyes looking up at you, the image of him right between your legs, his mouth grazes over your burning core causing your own to roll back.

"look at me."

his deep voice commands it with such deep authority, so different than his sweet soft-spoken words, that you roll your head back to look at him with hazy eyes.

"i want you to watch me. watch me eat and finger this tight little pussy until you're screaming my name," he growls, bringing his other hand up to squeeze your bare thigh. "understand? i want you to watch me."

you nod your head frantically and you think you would've agreed to anything just for his tongue to go back on you and his finger to start pounding into you. and when it does, when he finally starts again between your legs, you bite your lips so your eyes don't roll back again.

because his tongue lapping over your clit, his long finger pounding up into you as looks right at you is quickly becoming too much. you can't ever remember a time oral felt like this, felt so consuming and had you making the sorts of moans and whines vibrating throughout the car.

"oh my god," you whine lowly, rolling your hips over his face but it only causes the hand not in your pussy to pin you down by your hips.

"hey," he warns lowly, his wet lips retracting from between your legs, "you've been so good for me, baby. what happened?"

"i'm sorry," you whine, "it just feels so-" his tongue laps at your clit teasingly and you screech "good, feels so good," when he sucks it into his hot mouth.

"i think i need to sit you on my cock," he says and the pride that floods through him when you clench around his finger is all consuming. "what do you think?"

"yes, yunho," you say, trying to remember how he likes you good, "please, i wanna sit on your cock." and it pays off because one second your laid out on your back, the next your pants are at your ankles and he's flipped you guys so you're straddling him again.

you feel his hardness under you, peaking down and your eyes widening when you see his sheer size. "whoa..."

your cheeks flush when you hear his deep chuckle, his hand running through your sweaty hair as he lifts your head.

"i'll be gentle."

but in a bold move, you spit on your hand and jerk his cock causing him to sputter in the seat below you. "i hope not," you mutter, eyes teasing and voice low and he squints his eyes at you.

"oh no?" he hums, "then sit."

thighs wet from the arousal dripping out of you, you swirl the tip around your slit teasingly and throw your heard back with a moan. and it's the only reason he humors it, because the way you look with your head thrown back, chest heaving and mouth hung open, is enough to make his already throbbing cock ache for you even more.

you move it to your clit, pressing him into it and grinding as a whiney cry leaves your lips. "oh my god," you squeak, your eyes shooting to his and you connect your lips again. he meets your kiss with the same fervor, taking his cock from your hold and lining it up with your entrance.

"i need to fuck you now," he growls, "please, baby."

"yes," you mumble against his lips, groaning out against him when you feel him enter you and stretch your walls. you both let out breathy moans when he fully enters, him because "you're so fucking tight" and you because "you're so big, yunho," and it's all the motivation you need to start grinding your hips onto him.

his hands dig into your hips, urging you on with coos of pet names and expletives that have you grinding and bouncing and moaning out. and if anyone were hitch hiking on the side of the road right now, it wouldn't take an expert to know just what was going on inside.

because both your deep moans and grunts are echoing throughout the car. your heavy breathing and sighs have fogged up the windows of the shaking car from your rolling and grinding and his thrusting to find that spot within you.

the spot he finds only a few minutes later that has you falling forward into the crook of his neck, bouncing your wet heat on him because you hear his strangled breathing and loud grunts until the familiar hot feeling of him releasing inside you has moans ripping out of your chests in unison.

it takes a while for your breathing to turn even, for your shaking legs to simmer and the ringing in his ears to stop. but when it does, he kisses the top of your head still buried in the crook of his neck and gently places you in the seat next to him.

he fumbles with the glove compartment and takes out a wipe, gently dabbing between your legs as you lay your head back on the leather seat.

"you okay?" he quietly laughs out seeing you still in a post-orgasm daze.

"i'm....good, great," you say, a laugh bubbling out of you before shyly thanking him for cleaning you. because even in the car, directly after an intense sex-crazed adrenaline rush, he still remembers aftercare. and you think if it was possible to fall in love with someone in a night, with a heart as fragile as yours, he'd be the person to make it happen.

"me too," he says quietly, throwing the wipe in the empty plastic bag before he looks over your face. "i...that was uh great, really great."

his face burns when you turn away to laugh into your shoulder, his deep of groan of "stop!" only making you giggle more. and like it wasn't the cause of what just happened in the first place, you mumble again that he's cute.

"also," you say, when your laugh and his red cheeks subside, "it'd probably be a good time to mention i'm on the pill."

6:49 a.m.

you're half asleep in the front seat of yunho's car, the familiar sounds of horns honking and the bustling city keeping you from falling into a full slumber. he had asked on the way back if he could bring you to one more place before you called it a night (even though the birds were chirping and sun was rising). and who were you to say no when he had smiled and asked so softly.

you pop your eyes open, hands under your cheek as you watch him silently bob his head to the soft music. he's at a red light, one hand atop the steering wheel as he looks over to see you staring.

"hey sleepy," he says, reaching out to fix your slightly messy hair. "i'm sorry, i know you're tired but we're almost there."

"s'okay," you mumble, meeting his soft eyes with a smile, "i don't wanna leave you yet anyway."

"oh no?" he hums softly and his heart tightens when you sees a shy blush cross your face.

"i didn't mean to say that," you sigh out sleepily and his small chuckle rings through the car.

"i was hoping you did," he says, hand moving from your head to pink cheek, "because i don't wanna leave you yet either."

the sound of a honk promptly ruins the moment, yunho's eyes moving to squint into the mirror before he drives off. you giggle as you shut your eyes again, burrowing yourself further into the leather.

he shakes you awake a few moments later, his hand on your shoulder as he looks down at with you soft brown eyes.

"we're here."

"where?" you mumble, sitting up and peaking out the window to see a small bakery.

"let me show you."

he gets out and meets you around the passenger side door, opening it for you and extending his hand out to you; you take it without a second thought and he smiles as he intertwines your fingers.

you walk up to the bakery door, the fresh smell of baked bread wafting through the empty store. the faint welcome from the worker is drowned out as your eyes peer over the shelves, bread and cookies and cakes lined up behind the streak-free glass.

you look up at him curiously when he leads you over to the cakes, tightening his hold on your hand when you guys stop in front of the display.

"pick anything you want."

you cock your head to the side before your eyes roam over the selection, squinting your eyes to read the script in front of every pastry when a tiny gasp escapes your lips.

"is that a-"

"tiramisu cheesecake," he confirms, "i heard it's really good here."

you stare at the glass as your heart tightens in your chest and you can't believe you have any tears left to sting behind your eyes today. but you don't wanna cry, even if they're happy tears, so it's why you lean your head against his arm and press your lips into a firm line.

"and i don't know if it's as good as that one," he says lowly, "but i figured it could hold you over until we....until you go back."

you lift your head to stare at him and he pouts upon seeing the one on your face. but before he can ask what's wrong or if he overstepped, your arm is wrapped around his body as you press your head into his chest.

"thank you," you choke out, "i....thank you." because if you try to say anymore, your hope that not even happy tears escape your eyes will be gone to shit.

and it's like he knows that. so he presses his lips to the top of your head and asks for a slice, your body still attached to his when he pays and ushers you out to the car.

and that's where you tell him you're so thankful for this cake but you also wanna enjoy the other one too. and at first he doesn't understand, his eyebrows furrowed together as he nods his head hesitantly.

"so i was thinking....maybe not this week, so i don't show up with a new boy right away...but next week, maybe we can go to-"

"yes," he blurts out and a big smile makes its way on your face when you see he can barely hold back his excitement. and he doesn't even care too.

because as he takes you home, you excitedly talk it over and exchange numbers. and he's quick to tell you you can start out as friends first, that he doesn't expect anything from you and will take this new found relationship at whatever pace you decide to set.

but you hope the smirk you throw his way shows him that you know within a few weeks time, you'll completely forget about the boy who made you so upset and dropped you into his lap, now filling you with such an excited, hopeful feeling even in your sleep deprived state.

you direct him to your apartment building and you thank him again for the night, sweet smiles and lingering gazes as you both delay separating.

but because that time has come, you gather your cake and open the door after teasing him that he better not get out and do it for you.

"so, i'll see you next week?" you ask quietly, a small shy smile on your face.

"next week," he says, watching you with a smile and light heart as you barrel up your apartment stairs and he gives himself two hours before his fingers start itching to text you.

#yunho #yunho smut #yunho angst #yunho fluff #ateez #ateez yunho #ateez fluff #ateez smut #ateez angst #yunho moodboard

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ts-unpopular-opinions · 4 years

Note

if you don’t mind me asking why don’t you respect thomas as a person anymore? i’m not trying to be rude or jump to anyone’s defense, i’m just genuinely curious.

I have been getting a lot of asks like these since I mentioned that I’m still upset with Thomas and although I’ve covered it multiple times on this blog, I will go ahead an explain it again because I’m tired of people telling me how to feel.

Here I will complie a list of all of the reasons why Thomas just does not rub me the right way sometimes. That being said, i recognize that Thomas is a very good actor and is a very talented man. He may have things going on in his life that I don’t know about, but the opinion I’ve formed of him is simply based on what I’ve observed and I am willing to change that if he shows reasons for the things that he does. I’m in no way trying to “demonize” Thomas here or make him out to be some crazy, rutheless being. I simply just dont vibe with some of the choices he makes and things he does. So here we go...

1) Thomas appears to have a pretty big ego. He constantly posts pictures of himself on his social media instead of using the platforms as most youtubers would: to communicate with fans about his content. He is okay with fans contantly worshipping him like a god and living off his every word. Even during his birthday he would retweet videos of people literally cellebratig his birthday with cake and candles, and that is just so odd to me... Theres nothing wrong with having a lot of confidence in yourself, but its simply something that rubs me the wrong way.

2) Thomas is a really awful business man. As I have mentioned time and time again, Thomas is running a business here, just like most youtubers with his level of fame. He has merch, a huge following, and a membership program. Despite this, Thomas continues to act as if his youtube channel is just a fun past time for him. His schedule for video releases is atrocious and I’d be surpised to find out that the team even schedules dates for things at this point. To an outside fan it just seems like they release a video whenever they want to or whenever they finish it, with no prior end goal in mind. Thomas treats his job as if it is an opinional past time, and as someone who is in college, works in a fast food job, and has an internship I cannot respect that. The man has no work-life/personal-life separation and it shows... He’s hired all of his friends to work for him and gets work done at a snails pace because of it. He always says that the team is working hard and getting things done, but never has anything to show for it...

3) Thomas is very bad at communicating with his fans. For having such an outstanding and die-hard fanbase, Thomas takes them for granted. Instead of giving fans insight on video release dates and production, he opts to say nothing simply because he doesnt “want people to get mad at him for being wrong”. I don’t know about anyone else, but that is just so messed up to me... You keep all of your adoring fans in the dark simply because you dont want to face the concequences of you not getting your work done is a timely manner? This bothers me a lot... especially when a lot of fanders are paying to get “extra information” when in fact the livestreams are simple Joan and Thomas hanging out and joking around with a very rare, almost completely absent mention of future videos.

4) The babying issue. Thomas has to recognize that his fans baby him and treat him like a breakable doll all the time. This not only makes him incapable of taking and responding to criticism, but it makes him shrug off responsibility all together. If his fans never give him concequences for his actions and simply praise him to no end, then he just keeps going what he’s doing and ignores any ouce of negativity because of it. The fanbase has babied thomas into thinking that he can do no wrong and will never be criticized, and it shows. Never once has he formally sat down and just talked about the concerns people like me and the anons that come to my blog have.

5) This is a newer one I realized with the most recent episode. The whole Trump joke threw me off guard because, while I don’t support Trump, I KNOW there must be fanders who do. And Thomas must have known this when allowing the joke into the show. It’s very inconsiderate to subtly manipulate your fans like that when this show has frankly nothing to do with politics. Had a fan been watching that who has their reasons to support trump, they may have felt alienated and hated by Thomas and that just insnt cool. This isnt the only instance of Thomas being manipulative with his fanbase. He constantly thanks and praises those of his fans who baby him and worship him while ignoring and never talking about those who have criticisms. This make fans who have concerns feel as though their worries make them terrible people and they shouldnt say them. Is this blog is anything to show for it, fanders are scared to speak about how they feel. Thi has created an extremely toxic environment for open discussion, but thomas continues to let it go on.

6) Money. Everyone, believe it or not, but Thomas makes a LOT of money. He is not an independent creator that films and edits videos all by himself simply for the fun of it and not for the money. This is his career. He is a business man and the owner of this company. His goal is to not only produce content, but to make money. And boy does he make a lot of it... Here is some math i did on my own to figure out just how much (granted it is not perfect, but it should give everyone a realization that Thomas is nowhere near the independent artists and authors that they constantly compare him to...):

-The average youtuber with 1m subscribers makes $57,200 a year from ad revenue. Thomas has 3.36 million subscribers so 3.36*57,200 is $192,192.

-The last member livestream has 1.5k views and each member is giving thomas $5.29 per month. So per month thomas is making 5.29*1,500 from members, or $7,935. Per year, Thomas the recieves 7,935*12 from members, or $95220 (obviously this number could be a little smaller because I’m sure youtube takes some of that money)

-Apart from this, Thomas also sponsors nearly every video on his channel that is a decent length. (I’ll admit that the math for this part is up to a lot of interpretation because I have no idea how Thomas sponsorships are handled, but I will do my best). Alright so, youtubers charge brands anywhere from $10 to $50 per 1,000 views, to be forgiving I’ll do the math using the lowest price. On Thomas’ most recent blooper video, he had 736k views. If we divide that by 1000 thats 736. So 736*10 is 7,360. And that is just one sponsorship at the lowest price. I’m not really sure how many sponsorships thomas has done, but in the last year it seems like about 5 (the blooper, asides episode, gay disney prince, intrisive thoughts, and SvS). So that is 5 sponsorships per year, 7,350*5 or $36,800.

-So total income before considering merch sales and by assuming the lowest numbers for some areas is $36,800 + $95,220 + $192,192 = $324,212

Now with all of this in mind... Thomas makes so much money. Money that I could never even dream of coming by. And he does this with minimal uploads and scamming his members into continuing to pay him even through month long periods of no content. Thomas doesn’t even need to make videos at this point, the money that he drags out of his fans is already plenty. And then, not only does he have all of this money, but he uses it for fun trips and adventures those of which he brags about on his social media. He went to new york and saw three broadway shows, he went to vidcon and took a weeklong vaction there. He bought from what I saw, at least three playstations and games for different friend and family members. He is in no way struggling for money... and instead takes money from his adoring fans when he has no content to show for it.

#thomas sanders #ts unpopular opinions #ts unpopular answers #ts discourse

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beautifultrash-101 · 5 years

Text

More than competitors

Pairining: Quinn Fabray x fem!reader

Summary: When Sue told Quinn and Y/n that they would have to share the captain title of the Cheerios they started a rivalry to see which one of them is better at it. But when Y/n hears Karofsky talking about Quinn in bad way, and shames her for past actions, it rubs her the wrong and she has a unexpected reaction.

Warnings: swearing, violence - words: 1398

Requested by @triggered97

Y/n P.o.V

I clap my hands together calling out “good job everyone! I still think we need more practise, but I know that we’ll do great!” everyone leaves the field when I hear “you know they’re never going to take you serious if you keep talking to them like a mom from Disney channel” I roll my eyes turning to see Quinn with a smug face “well Quinn, at least I don’t treat our squad as puppets” “please, I do what I have to do so we succeed, and as soon as Sue notices it, I will be the only captain here and you’ll be lucky if I keep you on the squad” I take a step closer to her “trust me Quinn, I fight for what I want, whether it’s with you or against you, if you want to play dirty fine, but I’ll be the one with the captain position” with that I bump my shoulder against hers while walking past her leaving her to stand alone.

****

While in the cafeteria I sit with the Cheerios laughing about something that happened at practice today. Quinn complains “it’s not funny, if anyone would have got hurt we would have to re-arrange all the choreography” I reassure her as nicely as possible “Quinn we’re not in Bring it On where someone just magically breaks something by doing two preps and an extension, it was low fall, calm down” she gives me her signature glare eating her salad in silence. I turn back to the other cheerleader, but by doing so in the corner of my eye I can see Karofski chuckling looking over to us. Is he listening to our conversation?

****

Going on with my day, I walk to my locker putting in things that I don’t need anymore. Just then I overhear a conversation next to me “Bro I heard them talking today and Quinn is annoying, someone should teach her that she isn’t queen bee at this school anymore” it’s Karofsky, I knew he listened in on our conversation. Closing my locker I walk away from them not wanting to cause any trouble. It isn’t my place to get involved, and he is right, Quinn needs to know that she can’t keep controlling people the way she does.

****

While in one of the bathroom stalls I over hear Quinn and Rachel’s conversation. Rachel wants to marry Finn!? After I’m sure the door closed I exit the stall, not expecting Rachel to still be there. She looks at me “where you listening in?” I shake my head “of course not, I mean I heard everything, but not on purpose just small bathroom” she wipes her eyes “I don’t know what to do, I can’t believe Quinn said that” playing with the sleeve of my jacket I tell Rachel “I kind of agree with her to be honest” Rachel stares at me in shock “what? But I love Finn” “I know you do, but I think you’re both young, but it’s your decision and you know I’m here to support you” Rachel smiles at me, I lay a supporting hand on her shoulder, before passing her to exit the bathroom.

****

I hope Rachel doesn’t make a mistake. Quinn is right we can’t know what we want in fifteen years. I didn’t know she’d be so kind worded with Rachel.

Putting my school material away I over hear Karofsky talking to his jock friends “dudes I swear Quinn is such a control freak it’s starting to be hilarious, but as far as I have seen Y/n gets her to shut up, Quinn really needs a reality check that no one cares what she has to say, she could disappear and no one would care” I close my locker “come on Karowsky she isn’t that bad” his whole group points their direction to me “please Y/n, I’ve heard you and Quinn talking if there is anyone that hates Fabray it’s you” “I don’t hate her... we’re just competitive with each other” I whisper under my breath “oh don’t tell me you have a crush on miss teen pregnancy, she may have left the skanks, but that doesn’t change that she is one-“ without noticing my body flings it’s self at Karofsky and I connect my fist with his face. Why am I doing this? I don’t even like Quinn I shouldn’t care what people have to say about her. I feel arms pull me away. Before I know it I push Finn away “we have glee” I huff leaving, walking to the choir room.

****

Putting my fingers to my nose I notice it’s bleeding. But I’m already in the room “Y/n what the hell was that!?” Finn tries to make sense of what he saw “it doesn’t matter Finn” I respond sharply while other members are already filling the room, including Quinn. Finn urges “you can’t start a fight, because someone insults a glee member” mister Shue cuts in “guys settle down! Y/n you’re bleeding, what happened?” Finn declares “Y/n started a hall fight, because Karofsky bad mouthed Quinn” everyone looks to me confused. Mercedes asks “hold up, you started a fight, because Quinn was bad mouthed? You do that all the time” “yeah but to her face, and I don’t know, I felt bad, she’s still my co-captain and my club member” Quinn stands up “mister Shue can Y/n and I be excused to the nurses?” he nods “yes of course, go”

At the nurses office she gave us a few Kleenex and a ice pack. Quinn holds it to my nose making me hiss she frowns “sorry” I shake my head signaling it was fine. She cleans of the dried blood “why did you do that for me?” “I told you all, you’re still my-“ she stops me from repeating my explanation “Y/n we both know I’m your least favourite member, and everyone in that club has been bad mouthed while you were standing near by, you’ve never started a punching battle” I shrug “I don’t know, with you it was more like ‘hey only I’m allowed to be a bitch to her’” Quinn laughs. Beautiful laugh. Something I’ve always noticed, but ignored to think about. She lays down the Kleenex “thank you though, no ones ever really stood up for me like that without expecting something from it” not knowing how to replie I stay quiet. Quinn doesn’t seem to mind.

She lets out a breath “you know I don’t hate you” I chuckle “you have a fun way of showing it” she puts down the ice pack “it’s nothing against you, I guess I’m just scared that you’ll take the captain title for yourself, I mean you’re so nice always, so I started being rude against you to hold my guard up because I don’t want to admit that I like you” I didn’t expect that to come from her “well I like you too Quinn” she shakes her head “no Y/n, I like you” my eyes widen “ohhh” she takes a step forward to me “and after what you did for me now I felt I should tell you, I don’t expect any mutual feelings from you, yet now was a better moment then any” “I never thought of you like that, I mean I always noticed your laugh, you have different laughs for different people or situations, or sometimes I do notice that you got really good at faking your feelings, but your eyes still give it away, some days you lose that twinkle-“ I stop myself from talking “huh, maybe I have thought of you that way, the rivalry just made me kind of blind to it” Quinn taunts “you think” smiling looking down “so what now?” she questions looking to my hands. I reach out for hers “we can take it slow, get used to not hating each other” she looks up happy “that sounds like an intresting take to this relationship” I wiggle my eyebrows teasingly “relationship huh?” She blushes “well yeah, if that is what you want” I grin “definitely, what would you say, breadsticks tomorrow night? I pick you up at seven?” Quinn kisses my cheek “it’s a date” just then the nurse comes in and Quinn leaves glancing behind her shoulder one last time to look at me.

Who would have thought I’d end up with a date. And that date would be Quinn Fabray.

#quinn fabray x reader #quinn fabray imagines #quinn fabray #glee #glee imagine

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sandriinehebert · 4 years

Photo

Date: December 30th 2019 Location: The Lombardi’s house in Montréal Trigger Warning: Cancer, Family feud, Curse words

OOC notes: Initially I wrote this all in French and then translated the whole thing because who wants to read some sad crap in French? Not me! Some of the drama got lost in translation, but I did my absolute best. Just keep in mind that this conversation happened in French, since that’s the language the Lombardi’s speak at home. Thank you for reading and I’m sorry this got way too long! Oh, bonus, listen to this.

There were still decorations scattered all over the house. There were empty boxes piling out by the couch, on the dining table, and others squeezed between the bars of the stairs. Monica and Christian did not have time to finish the tree before they left for Massachussetts. Their tradition involved a lot of traveling and planning, but they tried the best to adapt themselves. Having two Christmases was not something anyone would ever complain.

Besides, it made the kids laugh when they saw the chaos that their childhood house had become. A tornado swept ornaments and tiny Christmas-y features all over the place, which gave the house a funny, but merry, look.

As per usual, Christian and his daughter busied themselves in the kitchen for most of the day. Monica and her son worked on cleaning the place and doing laundry. They all reunited around the dining table with a delicious feast and plenty of things to talk about. Adamo did most of the talking, but no one was surprised by that. Alessandra put an end to his monologue when she suggested they cleared the coffee table in the living room and pulled out her old Disney princesses themed monopoly board game for their traditional tournament. The father agreed with excitement and poured chips and other snacks into bowls to finish the evening, watching their favorite holiday movie, which was Barbie in the Nutcracker. No matter how old she became, it would always be Sandrine’s favorite thing about the celebrations. She would get up, and helped by her brother, they would do some of the pas de deux or bits of the Sugar Plum Fairy dance. Their parents would cheer, their heart filled with old memories from the previous years.

It was always the same. Outside, there would be so much snow cars could barely drive down the street. They could hear the loud chatters and noises from families nearbies. Italians really did it better.

It was around eight or nine in the evening and, usually by then, everyone was too tired from their flight to stay up any longer. Adamo was already in his old bedroom, snoring loudly. Christian was watching the weather channel to confirm their plans for the next day, which was to watch all the special television shows. And Sandrine would, too, get upstairs but, before she started walking up, she was stopped by her mother.

“Sandrine, will you help me clean the dishes?”

“Mom, I’m exhausted. Can we do that tomorrow?“

“No, come with me, now.” Nikki’s voice rarely sounded so strict and insisting.

She followed her mom to the kitchen and they both stood by the counter, staring at each other. Sandrine started feeling all strange inside, like a knot was being tied in her guts. Something was wrong.

“I talked to your brother about this a while ago and I wanted to wait to have you all here to tell you about it.”

“Why are you so serious mom? You don’t want to make brunch tomorrow, is that it? It’s fine, Dad already suggested we take it easy and we’re all good with —.”

“No, listen to me.” Monica marked a pause. “Do you remember when you came with me and granny to her first appointment, at the hospital? It was before your last competition. You practiced your pirouettes in the waiting room and everyone was cheering for you. You looked so cute with your little costume.”

“I was like seventeen or something! I wasn’t cute! I was panicking because I skipped rehearsals! I don’t see how that’s cute. It’s not because I’m short and I looked like a child that those strangers had the right to patronize me —.”

“I told you to wait for us, while I went with granny. And you waited, because you were always the best girl. And when we walked out, you knew something was not okay... You said you had a...”

“Knot in my stomach.” It was Alessandra’s turn to cut off her mother. “I remember that. We had just learned that Nonna was not doing good. Why are you telling me all this?”

“And we tried to keep it from you for the longest time, but we failed. You were always with me and with dad, and with Nonna. You knew something was off when we asked you to go out with your friends or to go grab a slushie because we needed to talk about grown-up things.”

“What are you trying to say? That you treated me like a child when I was an adult? I know all that already.”

“Do you have that feeling right now?”

Alessandra nodded. It was not just a knot, it felt like a blade piercing through her insides.

“Yes, and...?”

“I have cancer.”

"What?”

“You heard me.”

“No, this can’t be right. You told me your last checkup was perfect... You went like two weeks ago! It was just some random bump. You got so many scans and tests done! They all came up fine!”

“Alessandra Serafina Lombardi, for once, stop talking.”

So, she did. Alessandra was spiralling. She held on the counter when she felt her knees shaking under her weight. She looked over to the living room and Christina was switching the television channels absentmindedly. He was stuck on some hunting and fishing show. He hated hunting and fishing.

“Wait... You said you told Adam...”

“Yes. We told him last summer.”

“Last summer?!” Nothing was making sense anymore.

Her mother was trying to explain herself. She found out she had traces of cancer in her breasts and ovaries last summer, and refused to go through any sort of treatment. She knew all too well how it went, she forced her own mother to go under so many therapies and to take so many pills. She explained Sandrine that she was going to take drugs to ease the pain and see how it progressed. That was why she pushed back all the tests until her doctor insisted. Last summer, the cancer was small and could be easily treated, but, as of now, it was a whole other story. Nikki added that her dad would close the restaurant for a few months, until all the papers would be ready to pass it on to his sous-chef for good. They also said they would use some of the money Corinna gave them at her death to pay for the medicine. All that Alessandra heard was a long, loud, buzzing in her ears.

“Why did you not tell me?”

“We did not want to hurt you.”

“Hurt me?! That’s the funniest thing ever. You thought telling me my mom is dying after the whole world knew would not hurt me?”

“You are too sensitive, Alessandra.”

“I’m not sensitive. I’m tired.” She slammed her fist on the kitchen counter. “I’m not a baby anymore! You can’t hide things from me! You can’t do that to your own daughter! We had this conversation when Nonna got too sick. What did you do with it? Throw it in the fucking trash, right along your common sense that could have reminded you to inform your other child?”

She had always been the other, lesser child. She tried not to care too much about it, to forgive and forget. But it was beginning to eat her alive.

“Alessandra, be respectful.” Christian shouted from the living room.

“You don’t even know what respect is.”

“We protected you until your mother made up her mind and decided not to get treated. We did not want you to live with the same uncertainty as we did!”

“All you did was hiding the truth from me.”

She stormed out of the kitchen and ran up the stairs. Her steps were loud and heavy. As she made it to her old room, she found her brother blocking the way. She started slapping and punching his chest, struggling to have him move at all. Adamo opened his mouth, as if anything he could ever say would make the situation better. Before he could make a sound, Alessandra managed to push him and walk inside, her hand holding the door knob so firmly that her knuckles turned white. She spoke, only to slam the door at his face.

“Family should never lie to one another."

@devinstonerpg

#devinstone.task #devinstone.task003 #tasks.#biography.#(( i tried to do the fancy html translation thingy and gave up IM SORRY ))

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multimetaverse · 6 years

Note

Do you think Cyrus will ultimately have an endgame or not?

Of course, and that endgame will still be with TJ. But it is clear that as of 3x19 and likely 3x20 as well,Tyrus is still stuck in subtext and Terri is rapidly running out of time and has little leverage left to try and convince Disney to let them canon. There’s not many episodes left to film so we’ll have a rough idea of just how bad things will be by seeing how often and for how long Luke is on set for eps 21-26.

Cyrus and TJ can have all the cute moments in the world and can look back at each other every ep but you need text to tell a story not subtext. Thanks to the leaked casting notice for 3x17 we know exactly how and when Muffy is revived, no subtext needed, just plain old textual jealousy from Rachel and an open accusation that Marty and Buffy have feelings for each other. And since we know that Marty is at what seems to be a Celia planned wedding event in 3x19 we know that Buffy and Marty must openly talk about their feelings and come to some sort of arrangement to take their relationship to the next level.

Tyrus was never going to be treated equally to any of the het ships but that Disney is not even trying to keep up an illusion of equality between Tyrus and Muffy which are both main-recurring ships is a very bad sign. And that Disney is seemingly okay with not letting Tyrus even match a bit of what Ciris was able to do is also a very bad sign as that would have been one of Terri’s strongest arguments in favour of canon Tyrus.

Pretty much the last cards she has to play with Disney is that there will be a backlash if nothing happens for Cyrus and that Disney would get positive coverage and make history by letting Tyrus actually canon. Disney likely would face a backlash but that they’re willing to wait this long in production before making a decision suggests that they’re still debating whether that backlash is something they can weather. Appealing to Gary Marsh’s ego and his desire for a legacy may well work but focusing on the future cuts both ways; a Disney Channel that doesn’t want to set a precedent for future gay relationships and rep will find it very tempting to just take the hit to their reputation and keep Tyrus in subtext for the entirety of the series.

There’s also the question of when Tyrus would canon; certainly Disney could and likely would make Terri cram it all into one ep but will they let her do it in the series finale itself? There’s a very good chance that the show’s otp, Jandi, gets back together for the final time in the series finale and that’s the main romantic focus of the ep. How gay will Disney really let the series finale? Some small gay moments sure, but Cyrus and TJ getting together? Much less likely. And if their big moments are in the finale there’s no reason why Disney can’t just cut them without having to worry about the impact on later eps.

At this point, the best case scenario is that Terri’s instagram post is something she can back up and she’s been able to convince Disney to let her actually canon Tyrus and bring them from subtext to text sometime in the last few eps of the series and even though it won’t be as much as it should be it will still be great rep.

The worst case scenario is that Terri scrolled through twitter looking for a supportive tweet and made a post about it because the criticism wounded her because deep down she knows that Cyrus’ story line will be viewed as a failure. TJ is never written off but he’s barely in 3b and him and Cyrus only ‘get together’ in a coded way in the last minutes of the series and Disney avoids having to deal with a canon gay relationship for a while longer.

#Andi Mack #Tyrus #Cyrus Goodman #TJ Kippen #Andi Mack Asks #Asks #Answered #Andi Mack Season 3 #Andi Mack Meta #Terri Minsky #Muffy #Buffy Driscoll #Marty from the party

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mrjoelgarcia9 · 5 years

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Let’s Talk #Disney’s #StarVsTheForcesOfEvil: Final Thoughts & Season 5

Star Vs. The Forces of Evil was a great deconstruction of the magical girl genre with a Disney twist.

For my Final Thoughts on Disney’s Star Vs The Forces of Evil, as well as the possibility of a fifth season, feel free to keep reading. There will be spoilers.

The two things that made this show stand out from other magical girl shows such as Sailor Moon, an obvious source of inspiration, were how the monsters were treated and the magic literally being destroyed.

In other magical girl shows, monsters are just mindless beings the characters kill and destroy. In this show, they were presented as normal citizens who just want to live their lives. The people of Mewni saw them as threats and second-class citizens. Only the privileged, such as Tom, could be anywhere near them.

Star, Eclipsa, and Marco all treated them as regular people, while everyone else in Mewni wanted them to go away forever. Even when Eclipsa became queen, they simply moved into the forests to build new civilizations and then joined Mina’s army to destroy them all.

Some fans have debated how the monsters were treated as either being racism or colonialism. Regardless of which of the two you may believe the show may have been presenting, it did its best to show it for a younger audience without referencing real world events.

The most divisive aspect about how the show ended was Star’s decision to get rid of magic forever. It says something when it was considered by some online to be the worst finale the day it aired (Coincidentally, Game of Thrones ended later that evening).

It is understandable why some fans did not like how the series ended, with Star no longer being either a princess or magical. There are numerous pieces of fan art and written fiction online which have Star and Marco eventually becoming Queen and King of Mewni (below) and having a daughter who goes on her own adventures with their friends’ children.

The events of the third and fourth seasons all but crushed the possibility of that ever happening. In the end, it made perfect sense for Star to destroy the magic.

She came to the realization that it caused nothing but trouble. Her parents originally sent her to Earth because of her own magical antics, but even then kept using it to do things such as turn a teacher into a monster and endanger her friends several times.

Her mother Moon, Eclipsa, and Meteora all used magic for nefarious purposes. Moon started a war, Eclipsa played around with dark magic, and Meteora used it to consume souls and almost destroy Mewni.

When Toffee had the magic, via an unaware Ludo, he used it to burn the Book of Spells, kill Glossaryck (the first time), and almost kill Star. Beforehand, he tried to destroy magic by threatening Marco’s life if Star didn’t disable her wand.

Mina’s undying commitment to Queen Solaria, who may have been the only person to treat her with respect, made her use magic to almost not only kill all the monsters but also the royals she believed betrayed Solaria’s legacy.

In other words, magic in this show’s universe was both beneficial and detrimental at the same time. For once, the bad guy was right.

(On a related note, Michael C. Hall was awesome as Toffee. Also, Eden Sher was great as Star.)

Star simply leveled the playing field by getting rid of all magic forever.

Despite these positives, there were a handful of flaws, such as the intro and the final episodes acting as somewhat of a rushed fifth season.

The theme song was great, but the visuals barely changed and quickly became dated by what was happening within the series. This is mainly an overall issue with Disney’s animated series, which rarely change their intros’ visuals. The only other notable show to change visuals has been DuckTales (2017).

The first intro works for the first season but makes no sense in the second season since Star and Ludo rarely confronted each other.

The second and final intro which began airing in the third season quickly became outdated right after Eclipsa broke out of her crystal. It made even less sense during the fourth season, since Heinous was no longer a threat and Ludo had all but retired.

The last few episodes of the fourth season, starting right after Eclipsa’s coronation, felt like a condensed fifth season. It wrapped up several story threads, such as what happened to Jackie after the breakup, and then went right into the final arc. It felt rushed after the season had relatively good pacing.

Disney supposedly has a “four season rule” for their shows, in which they end after four seasons regardless of their success and popularity. It is a nonsensical concept since some of their shows have had fifth seasons, such as Disney XD’s Avengers Assemble and Disney Channel’s Mickey Mouse.

Additionally, their shows have had odd runs such as Phineas and Ferb running for four seasons consisting of 222 episodes shown throughout eight years.

For comparison, Star ran for four seasons with 77 episodes within four years.

Should this show return for a fifth season or film? No.

“Cleaved” was a great conclusion to the series, leaving the characters happily ever after with a new status quo. It would be weird to continue a show primarily about a magical girl with no magic. It makes as much sense as a sixth season of Gotham.

Also, it might have been really boring and mundane seeing the characters go from fighting the magical forces of evil to probably running a monster hotel.

It is possible Disney could revive the series by having the magic suddenly return. However, it might be seen as contrived after everything the characters endured. It would be like if Bill Cipher came back the day after Dipper and Mabel left Gravity Falls.

There is always the possibility for a revival. Both the aforementioned Gravity Falls and Phineas and Ferb returned long after their respective finales, the former as a graphic novel and the latter with crossover appearances on Milo Murphy’s Law and an upcoming original film for Disney+.

In the meantime, there are really good fan continuations currently being written and drawn. One great example is @moringmark's Echo Creek: A Tale of Two Butterflies, a web comic centering around Mariposa and Meteora as teenagers living in a post-”Cleaved” world. It is one of the best fan stories I have ever read and I highly recommend it.

MoringMark is also the artist behind the Ship War AU comic, a fun and dramatic retelling of the second season finale which centers around the future children of Marco, Jackie, and Star. At the moment, it appears to be on a permanent hiatus.

Star Vs. The Forces of Evil was yet another great animated series from Disney. While it may not have reached the same type of mainstream success as fellow series Gravity Falls, it had a great story with great characters and a great conclusion. It was a unique deconstruction of the magical girl genre by Disney that is unlikely to be rivaled in the near future.

Unless the show is compared to its successors just like Gravity Falls is compared to every mystery-based animated series ever.

(Amphibia is a cool new show and I can’t wait to see The Owl House.)

The complete series is available to buy on digital providers and can currently be streamed on Hulu.

Until next time, thank you for reading!

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scooperkin · 6 years

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I've seen someone draw the puppet with muscles (I have the picture on my phone)

Sorry I got a bit carried away with my insight on this and the fnaf characters, style and designs in the form of horror media so it’s long and under readmore

Forgive me for any writing errors, this was written on impulse and I probably won’t look into fleshing it out:

I don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong with art or portrayals of the Puppet with more human-based anatomy features but it’s tiring to see this non-stereotypical gendered entity/child’s toy that isn’t supposed to be presented as anything near human both for the in-universe creative of the children’s imaginations, but also as a horror character that is importantly keep vague because a as a horror character, the unknown of what it could be and it’s odd undefined behavior coupled with this vague humanoid but, UNhuman frame makes it scary to in-universe adults, as well as real fans.

So seeing it so commonly characterized as a shapely-human just ruins the original intent and just takes away my interest in whatever story or fanart is being presented to me. And while this is a personal opinion and really doesn’t matter in what content people should do as if it disinterests me I’ll move on but those who enjoy it will still enjoy it. And there also fan content I’ll still occasionally remain interested that present not just the Puppet but other fnaf characters in campier and, stylistic content; any more serious, spooky, horror or more faithful fan media that has both the Puppet and other FNAF characters portrayed more comfortably artistic light, such as the Puppet having a “motherly” body shape (most likely thanks to Living Tombstone’s FNAF 2 song), as well as Toy Chica’s already feminine body pushed further with more defined features about her body (*ahem* boobies). And notice again how a lot of this is more aimed at the more “feminine” of the cast.

Circus Baby, along with Ballora, are the only animatronics that ends up being drawn straight up as organic entities even when in the presence of their fellow Funtimes, still depicted as their more horrific, robot designs. It’s fine if they’re drawn as regular furries and Baby and Ballora as human women (or little girl), its a chosen style someone chose, and again this isn’t wrong just because I don’t find it interesting enough, it’s not my cup of tea and I move on. But, several times I’ve come to accounter, more organically designed characters often are reduced to basic human features in their design. The Puppet gets curvy, Ballora and Baby get real hair that fluffies and moves organically, Baby herself often made into a tiny cute friendly young girl. The (fixed) Mangle, and Funtime Foxy getting more curves and floof. And don’t even get me started on people who sexualize these characters to the point they’re just human bodies with cartoon heads to just be more comfortable with consuming not safe for work content of them, proving as well these character’s designs, in the long run, don’t matter in this nsfw work, but that’s a different subject on a different type of content for a different day. (And notice how all these characters are feminine? While Scrap Baby can be portrayed as a cute girl in fan content but Molten Freddy is still what he is in the game in his fan content.)

Circus Baby is highlighted by the fact she is a massive robot towering over even the tallest of men, a single eye of her’s can fit two if not four pairs of human eyes in it’s size. Her fingers, thicker than most children’s arms. Is TERRIFYING. And she’s supposed to be. She’s a horror game character. Her scale towers over adults, their parents, the protectors of their children. Her movements are jerky and uncanny, her stare to an older audience member or child can give them the creeps. But ultimately her design–safe, safe for children to run up to, and safe for a child to trust. While her existence and design as a whole in-universe and above the surface is so supposed to be a large child, an older sister, still young enough to play with you but old enough to trust to be alone with. But behind the stage, back underground, that’s not who she really is. I’ve never seen Circus Baby as a giant child as she is seen to the outside world, no because underground, in the darkness she’s kept, we’re shown the real her, the true her. She isn’t some dumb playful child, she is a discerning actor. And her “real” mental age can be debated and discussed among fans, but it’s clear she isn’t an arrogant child. And more specifically for me, I see her depicted as an actress. An actress who’s been conformed to take on this child role both on and off stage. She purposely has a voice higher, she purposely choices her innocent-word structuring. She’s acting, she’s Pretending for the sake of her own safety against this Location she’s in. When even being off character for a moment such as taking a rest off your stage gives you a painful shock. It’s not too unusual as several stars and actors, usually young and more impressionable ones are told to act a certain way even with off-screen. A good example of this is several child stars on the work of Disney Channel original series. They tell their actresses to dress a certain way, to speak in a higher voice, don’t be serious, always smile. Because it earns the trust and love from children viewers better than just, Bella Thorne or Miley Cyrus being her honest self off set to their younger fans. Too risky, keep your voice pitched up. And even though you’re 19 please, please don’t act like it, act younger, the kids won’t ever relate to you if you sound too old, if you act to old. So while Baby and the other Funtimes’ situation is a very exaggerated version of this (no don’t worry no disney stars are getting shocked when they don’t act hard enough) to the point that it’s a horror genre story about it makes sense why this is unsettling as a player and in the Funtimes’ shoes.

So while Baby does everything to keep pretending, this is something Ballora can’t do. Ballora can’t pretend, she refuses. She refuses to pretend when under the surface away from the crowds and people, where she’s alone and can be herself. But she doesn’t get that, she gets shocked and ends up being scooped to “fix” her. Too much free will. Foxy isn’t explored as much but I feel goes through the same trouble as Ballora. And the only one who is seemingly left unpunished is Funtime Freddy, not even getting his own room, just stored somewhere until it’s time for a show. It’s implied he’s either the least sentient out of the cast or the one who acts closest to his original programmed personality. But either reason leaves him unpunished, not locked away for safety and disobedience. He’s unpunished but left alone in a single storage room. But whoops maybe having him follow his programming better than the others wasn’t the best idea. As he gets confused to when he’s on or off stage, when he should be sleeping, forgetting this hug is too tight for a child, or that said child is actually an employee that happened to go into the Breaker Room and is in fact not a birthday boy.

So Baby is unsettling both by design, in context, as well as her history, being created by the infamous William Afton making her again, do things she didn’t want to. So when I see her turned down into cutesy little teen girl or small child, and portrayed as such, I can’t help but again lose interest. And once again this is more of a personal preference, that isn’t how I understood Baby to be, or that she needed to be fixed from a large scary robot to cutesy bab. But it’s how others want it and I step away.

And I know this sounds like I’m going everywhere with this, and barely has to do with your ask, but I fear my post may have been mistaken as I feel this ask is talking about a way people shouldn’t draw or portray the Puppet when I wasn’t trying to say and I’m sorry if it came across that way.

As it stands a muscular portrayal of the Puppet is harmless, and a rarity in re-contributing fan media when compared to the more favored “curvy” puppet design trend. And of course these portrayals are no big deals in the end, and it’s just a preference but, I see more and more young artists following these trends because they seem more normalized. And no it’s not the original artists, of the young artist’s lack of understanding but, the fact that a lot of the fnaf fandom doesn’t treat fnaf like the horror media it is. Which is fine on it’s own, but when it’s brought up, I can’t help but look at a large side of fans like I’m looking at a Happy Tree Friends AMV with a song like this. Yeah Happy Tree Friends is a disturbing creation on it’s own but it’s not because it’s done in seriousness and the fact it’s cutesy IS what makes it disturbing, not any relevance it has to a subject or stories its trying to tell. So paired with a song as intestine and serious in tone as this one just seems…. silly. The editor wanted it to be horrific and scary but with the content at hand… it’s nearly impossible to do and takes a lot of figuring out to make work and only a few horror media can pull it off. And once again maybe this is just a me problem and how I intake content, for me FNAF is a horror story, a tragedy, it keeps you up at night not because the fiction itself is scary, but the contents implied and the contents hinted. Freddy Krueger was a sadistic child murderer in life because it was the evilest and scariest human conduct he could think of. And it’s why it’s so disturbing in FNAF that this ominous purple figure for the first few games was clouded in mystery and terrifying because while Krueger he killed innocent children, the purple figure was scarier over the fact he worked with these children, and he might still have worked with said children and he was Never caught and we didn’t even know his name back then. But we, the player saw him. Then we’re given just his vague actions of not only killing innocent children for no rhyme or reason (and any reasons at the time being just as horrifying )he then“Stuffed the victims in the animatronics” makes you think about how utterly disturbing that is. How did he even manage to do that, how did they not find him, that’s so horrible? And if the Puppet did that, why? The Puppet is vaguely sympathetic or is it? Because why would it do something so disturbing and as horrible as stuffing children into metal suits to the point their blood and organs leaked out, even in the name of “saving” them. It’s still horrible! It’s still tragic!

So when I see attempts at acknowledging in the horror in FNAF I want to give reminders that despite everything, Baby was HORRIFYINGLY big, looked had a cuteness that leaves people with the uncanny feeling of a porcelain doll’s stare. (as well as Ballora’s horrific treats being based off that).

That the Puppet despite everything it’s not a human, and has never been shown to bend in the same way a human can, and when it does move its arms and legs are still stretched out in space as it jumps in to kill you.

And to keep aspects like this when creating fan horror content or original horror content. The simplest of choices are usually the best ones, the feeling of being unable to move while your vague unknown attacker's inch closer and closer, to walk blindly in the dark with dangerous creatures. And in the end of this scary tragedy, or wanting things to be happy again, trying to solve the mystery, trying to make the horrible less horrible, only death awaited. For all of us.

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keeloves · 6 years

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My Top 10 least favorite Celebrities

Now keep in mind this list is simply my opinion I don’t mean to offend people and I do my best to give good reasons on why I don’t respect or like any of these people.

#10 Danielle Panabaker

I haven’t always had a problem with Danielle. She is the reason I started watching the Flash. I was also familiar with her work on Disney channel. She starred in the movies “Stuck in the Suburbs” “Read it and Weep” alongside her sister Kay Panabaker and most of you know she was in the movie Sky High. I was excited to see Danielle move on to bigger and better things. However, my issues with her began after watching her interviews and how I heard she tried to steal Candice’s spot as leading female. I tried to let it go at first but the more interviews I watched of her the more I started to lose respect for her. There was this ‘Ship war” between West Allen & Snowbarry. The problem with that is that Snowbarry is nonexistent. That was made up shortly after Candice Patton a black woman was cast as the leading female. Danielle has baited her racist shippers into thinking Snowbarry could happen. She has boasted about her and Grant’s chemistry right in front of Candice and Carlos and she has disregarded canon for the sake of baiting her SB shippers. Candice Patton has always talked about including more females on the show and Danielle boasts about being the “Only girl in STAR Labs” She even implied that her character Caitlin was jealous of Candice’s character Iris simply because of attention Iris waEs getting from guys. Candice on the other hand says, “That Iris will be fighting over a guy.” Danielle never once mentions Candice or her character in an interview but completely gets excited over Emily Bett Rickard’s character Felicity because “It was great having another female on the show.” Even though she got done bragging about being “The only female in STAR Labs” The worst thing is she tried to pass off a moment of sexual assault/harassment as a cute Snowbarry moment just get her portion of the fan-base excited. Even worse than that she did that in front of Candice and Carlos. Carlos even had to remind her she had her own ship called SnowStorm. In a most recent she did, she was asked about a Snowest friendship (Iris & Caitlin) she didn’t even give a straight answer she said something along the lines of “Iris doesn’t really make a lot of sense in STAR Labs and I am excited to see her journalism arc” and I am like that had absolutely nothing to do with the question that was being asked. Her answer sounded a lot like Iris West Allen haters. I don’t know if Danielle is doing this on purpose because she is mad at the fact she was not cast as the lead or is it because she really is that oblivious to the kind of horrible stuff people say about her female costar? Either way I don’t have much respect for Danielle because she is willfully ignorant to her privilege she has a white woman. Honestly Candice deserves a better female costar than the one she has now.

#9 Alexandra Shipp

She is known for playing Storm and the singer Aaliyah. Storm in the comics is a dark skin full blooded black woman. Alexandra Shipp is a mixed woman. Once again, the casting directors were too lazy to hire someone like Lupita to play Storm. When people expressed how upset they were that Alexandra Shipp was cast as Storm she basically told people to get over it. Okay now on one hand Alexandra is an actress so she should be allowed to play a part without getting back lash. However, the problem is that Hollywood has a long history of casting racially ambiguous/mixed women as all out black female characters who are supposed to be dark skin. Hollywood is colorist as hell. Alexandra basically said she isn’t going to miss any opportunity to audition for a part or take a part even if it is meant for a dark skin woman. As an actress she has a right to do that but the downfall this prove she is unaware of the privilege she has a mixed woman. As a mixed woman myself I believe we should be using our privilege to help up lift dark skin women. Media shits on black women enough and it’s even worse when mixed women who are half black are helping this problem. Sadly, Alexandra Shipp isn’t the only woman guilty of this. Yara Shahidi and Amandla Stenberg will acknowledge their privilege as mixed women but then turn around take parts meant for full on dark skin black girls. That is so hypocritical and this trend Hollywood and in media in general really need to die. So, I hope that these women stop doing this and really do something to fight against the colorism in Hollywood.

#8 Julie Plec

I have only watched to season 1 episode 7 of The Vampire Diaries. I have watched clips online too. Three reasons I have trouble getting through that show. One Damon is an abusive asswipe, two Delena and three Bonnie Bennet’s piss poor treatment. I put Julie Plec on this list because she called Delena sexy and treats her one black character the worst out of all the characters on the show. She is entitled to her opinion on Delena. However, my question is what is exactly sexy about an abusive relationship? Damon has raped and abused Elena and her friends, has killed several people she has care about because she didn’t do what he wanted, the biggest example is that when Elena rejected Damon he murdered her brother by snapping his neck. Yet she calls that a sexy relationship? She sabotaged Stelena and Bamon actual healthy relationships to force an unhealthy couple. The only time Damon is likable is when he is around Bonnie. Bamon on the show didn’t happen because Bonnie is black. They happened in the books because Bonnie was white in the books. The fact that Julie Plec can tease ships like Delena and Stelena but is so quick to shut down Bamon shippers is part of the reason racism in fandoms exist. Behavior like that from people like Julie Plec and Danielle Panabaker are only helping fuel a racist fanbase. You can’t tell me Julie has never seen the nasty racist stuff that Kat Graham the actress and Bonnie Bennet the character gets. If she has seen it and said nothing, then shame on her for not saying anything. Anyways I don’t have too much else to say but when I complete the series of TVD I will make sure to give more thorough opinion on the show and Julie.

#7 Marc Guggenheim & Wendy Mericle (This picture felt right due to my feelings on them)

These two will forever be known as the two idiots who ruined Arrow. I have three big problems with these two. One, their treatment of female characters, two the vast amounts of white washing and three how unprofessional they are. Every female character that has been killed off died in a way where they had no chance to defend themselves. Shado and Moria stabbed with their hands tied behind their backs and killed off for the sake of man pain. Sara Lance shot off a building with arrows while caught off guard. Dinah Laurel Lance Earth 1 the true Black Canary frozen by magic stabbed with an Arrow gets successful surgery only to have a random seizure and die. Really? However, the men on this show no matter how evil get to die as a hero. The worst thing about Laurel’s last moments is that she spent it with Oliver a man who treated her like shit and her last words were spent propping up his relationship with Felicity. Laurel was treated like trash all through out the show. Marc and Wendy didn’t know what character was going in the grave until episode 16. The death took place in episode 18. Katie Cassidy found out two episodes before that her character was going in the grave and she didn’t even find out in person she was told over the phone. So not only are Marc and Wendy unprofessional but they have proven themselves to be incompetent writers. Even John Barroman was dissatisfied at his departure from the show. They are also heavily misogynistic in their writing in the way they kill their female characters without giving them chance to defend themselves as I have mentioned earlier and in the way, they write Felicity. Felicity is written as a jealous bitch. She has been jealous of every single one of Oliver’s relationships. They had her refer to Lian Yu as fantasy Island a place that Oliver describes as his personal hell, just because there were two other women with him on the beach. Now on to the problem of white washing. Arrow has a bad habit of white washing characters. Here is a list of characters that Arrow has white washed https://thenerdsofcolor.org/2015/04/10/white-canary-and-arrows-habit-of-whitewashing/ Arrow also treats characters especially female characters like they are interchangeable. The character Evelyn Sharp is Starling in the comics but because she was introduced the episode after they killed Laurel she got the name Artimis attached to her due to the popularity of the Young Justice character to simply gain them more views. Evelyn Sharp/Starling are characters that have never had a live adaptation so why not do that character instead of mix matching characters. The next character they messed up is Dinah Drake who was established as Laurel’s mom on the show and she is the first Black Canary in the comics. Yet the show introduces to a new Black Canary named Tina Boland whose real name happens to be Dinah Drake. Arrow now has had four different Dinahs two of them being Laurel. Conner Hawk is now randomly John Diggle Junior and they have completely erased the Asian half. William and Samantha are supposed to be Blasian characters named Conner and Sandra Hawk only to be random white washed nobodies. .I hate how they treat their queer/lgbtq characters like trash. They forced a lesbian into a hetero marriage and have their one bi character sleep around. Marc even admitted two bi characters of the oppososite gender hooked up simply because they were both bi. I am sorry to all the LGBTQ people out there for being represented so terribly. Anyways thank god Marc and Wendy won’t be around for season 7 of Arrow. All though sadly their damage of the show will be left behind

#6 Marlene King

She is the writer for Pretty Little Liars and Famous in Love. I put Marlene on this list because of “creative choices” she has made in her shows. In Pretty Little Liars and Famous in Love she had characters statutorily raped and did nothing about it. Toby was raped by two women, one being his step sister Jenna and the second woman being Alex, Spencer’s identical twin sister. For those going to Alex didn’t rape Toby yes, she did because she pretended to be Spencer to trick Toby into having sex with her. Tricking someone into having sex with you is rape. The fact that Toby’s rape from Jenna was played off as a secret love affair is disgusting and purpurates the stereotype that all guys are horny and want sex. This ignores male rape victims. Then I watched the scene where Alex and Toby are “having sex” and the people in the comments are calling it cute just because Alex looks like Spencer. That is so gross. There is nothing cute about watching someone get raped. Then on Famous in Love Nina who is the mother of Jordan’s best friend was having sex with Jordan when he was 16 and she was an adult. All though I am having trouble with that because people say she didn’t know because Jordan lied about his age. I am not sure if that is true but if she didn’t and found out it was her job as the adult to put to a stop to it but if she did know and didn’t care then shame on her and she needs to be in prison in a cell next to Ezra Fitz who I will talk about next. Ezra Fitz purposely stalked four underage girls and started a relationship with one of them knowing full well that she was underage and knew he was going to be her teacher all to write a book about their missing friend who is another underage girl that he had a relationship with. This was never addressed in a nuanced way. Ezra never went to jail or prison. Instead people questioned his relationship with Aria, but not once did they call the police on him. He stalked the four girls while he claimed to be away on business. Then at the end of the series Aria and Ezra get married. Yes, that is right folks Marlene King had a victim marry their statutory rapist/stalker. Sadly, that is not the only abusive couple that ended up together. The one LGBTQ couple that ended up together was abusive and only ended together because of whiny ass fanbase and Emily’s eggs being implanted into Alison without either girl’s knowledge which is a violation of both girl’s bodies. I have gone on in the past on why I hate Emison so if you want to know more read my Top 10 worst couples list where you will find Emison and Ezria. The next problem I have is how Marlene treats poc characters and her lgbtq/queer characters. She treated Paige badly even though Paige had the most common sense. She made a few mistakes but learned from them and she didn’t get the happy ending she deserved. The show Pailey lived together but we don’t get to see that instead we get flash backs of Emison where Alison is abusing Emily. Maya a woman of color who was also bisexual killed off for shock value. Yvonne woman of color Toby’s finance killed off just because of Spoby, Charlette a transgender character made into a villain and killed off, Shauna made into a villain and killed off. Ugh. Anyways Marlene is guilty of promoting abusive relationships by having two be endgame. She is basically saying if “Your abuser is nice to you sometimes then you should give them what they want.

#5 Adam Horowitz & Edward Kitsis

They are best known for making the show Once Upon A Time. I wrote a long post on deviant art that I will copy and paste here if you want a more thorough explanation but those of you wanting a brief explanation on what my problem with them are here you go. I have four main problems. One, they way the treat male rape victims on the show, two the fact it took them seven seasons to have people of color on the show because prior to that they have been killed off, three the vast amounts of queer baiting they do and four the fact that a woman needs to have a child and a man to have a happy ending. The first lgbtq/queer couple they had were rushed, forced and slapped together and then the two characters were never seen again. It just felt like they wanted brownie points from the lgbtq/queer community for representation. They have had three females on male rape which two out of three of them were done by deception and two out of the three rapes had babies born from this. Okay now here is the long-winded version from Deviant Art about my problems with Adam and Eddie. Its long because it is my review on Once Upon a Time. “There is a lot I am going to say here. These are my overall thoughts on Once Upon a Time and the writers. Not all of this is going to be positive so be prepared. Once Upon A Time was a show I really enjoyed because of the many characters I grew up with got to be done differently and interpreted different ways. I thought the names characters had were quite clever. For example, Cora is the Queen of Hearts and Core means hearts, Regina Mills last named being Mills was because her mom was the Miller's daughter or how Rumpelstiltskin was called Mr. Gold or Detective Weaver because he weaved and spun gold. I loved all the clever names. My favorite story lines were Ruby being the wolf, and her boyfriend being named Peter as a nod to Peter and the wolf. I also enjoyed Ingrid as a character and I enjoyed the show for what it was. However, this show has many problems which I will now get into. The show's main problem is that villains’ actions are not called out properly. The two biggest examples are Regina and Rumple. Regina, has mass murdered three villages worth of people, separated children from their families, locked away Belle in a tower for 28 years and straight up raped Graham and yes folks I said it she RAPED Graham. Several people of asked Adam and Eddy about the Regina raping Graham argument and they have dismissed the argument by saying it Graham was Regina's sex slave. This isn't the only problem with Regina. She has committed so many heinous crimes and none of her main victims have called her out for it they just give her a free pass because "She's good now". Once Upon A Time has a huge problem with rape in general. Adam and Eddy have written three female on rape cases and never once bothered to address any of them. Two out of three of the came a child and two out of three rape victims ended up dying by murder basically and it was never dealt with again. Zelena killed Marion a woman of color (We are getting to that soon) shape shifted into her then raped Robbin Hood who was dating Regina at the time. Then Zelena gets pregnant and names her daughter Robin? Why? I truly believe it was to spite Regina and rub it in her face that she can't bear children of her own. What the hell were Adam and Eddy thinking naming Zelena's baby Robin? Then Gothel raped Nook/Wish Hook and had Alice. Why won't they address this issue. What about Emma and Neal. Neal aka Bealfire is over 300 years old or 24 for safety and Emma was 16 or 17 years old. No one thought that relationship was weird? I feel conflicted about Swanfire. The most problematic relationship to me is Rumbelle, it’s so awful even the actress who plays Belle hates the relationship. Why did Adam and Eddy make that a relationship at all? Rumple did nothing but lie and deceive Belle. He murdered Milah twice and now he can't respect Belle. It is honestly the most emotionally abusive relationship I have seen. These writers tried to shove it off as a dysfunctional relationship. It was that all right but it was very emotionally abusive and just really creepy. Rumple went so far as stalking Belle by putting a tracker bracelet on her and showed up at the library when Belle clearly didn't want him there. Belle honestly should have ended up with Ruby, Graham or Adam who was never introduced. Moving on from Rumblle up next the show's problems are how they treat their characters of color. Up until season seven there were no main characters of color. The characters were either one offs, or they died too soon. Rapunzel who was black appeared once and never mentioned again despite being a popular story, Gus Gus dies, Ursula basically a one off never seen again, Sydney a black man brought on and used as a slave or indentured servant depending on how you look at it either way bad. Tamera Neal's girlfriend killed off by Rumple, Mulan an Asian bisexual woman never got a happy ending but was there to cape for the white characters. The Dragon guy killed off, Merlyn dead, and many others have died as well. The next problem is the queer baiting on this show. This show took five seasons to give us a lgbtq couple and it was rushed, and they weren't seen again. The two most popular couples are Sleeping Warrior and Swan Queen. Sleeping Warrior was the closest thing to a healthy lgbtq interracial relationship. We were so close but nope Aurea had to get pregnant with Prince Philip's baby and they won't even let Mulan say she was in love with Aurea which really pisses me off because the writers have established her as bisexual but won't allow her a happy ending or a chance at true love. The only main canon lgbtq couple we got were Robbin and Alice. I think if Mulan were a white woman and in season 7 she would have gotten a happy ending and a wonderful love interest. (All though Mulan is Asian and should stay Asian because, I hate white washing) Swan Queen all though I am not big on it I do see why people ship it. All though can people take a minute and realize that Emma and Regina are step granddaughter and step grandmother? Then again Emma married her almost step father in law so this show is close to having incestuous relationship so why shouldn't they give Regina and Emma a chance? My biggest problem with the show is how Emma got treated like shit by the fandom and the writers. Emma who tried to save Marion's life had to apologize to Regina for "ruining her chances with Robin or making her life more complicated?" Excuse me but Regina was going to murder Emma as a baby, Regina is the whole reason Emma didn't have a family for 28 years of her life. Regina can drink a tall glass of STFU. Seriously these writers coddle the hell out of Regina and it is annoying as hell. As I said before Regina has kidnapped an entire town by cursing them, she raped Graham for 28 years and she mass murdered thousands upon thousands of people. Here these videos are a summary of all the messed up things Regina have done.www.youtube.com/watch?v=9q8bNf…. Then the writers have retconned Henry. He told Regina "You were the first person to love me." Excuse me but this kid was going to build an armory against her and ran away to Emma. Yeah Regina isn't abusive. Adam and Eddy also think that happy endings mean children and other true love. Really characters like Regina and Rumple should work hard to improve themselves but nope corners were crossed for those two and they got happy endings meanwhile good characters such as Mulan, Facillar, Milah, and many other characters who were actual good people didn't get a happy ending. Yet mass murdering rapists got happy endings that is so messed up. In conclusion Adam and Eddy are misogynistic assholes and have proven to be racist in their writing. They have also don't care about lgbtq people, male rape victims and the people of color on their show. I also found it really insulting that they portrayed women as incomplete if they couldn't bear children of their own. All in all, Once Upon a Time could have been a great show but instead it was mediocre.”

#4 Kanye West

If there were a contest on being the most arrogant and most full of yourself person Kanye would either win first place or he would take second to his in laws/his wife. He is colorist, he is an attention whore and he said that slavery is a choice. I hope he meant the mind set of slavery is a choice but I highly doubt it but I highly doubt it. He put a confederate flag on his clothing line. I have seen the price of his clothing is way too expensive. $200 for a shirt all because it says Yeeze? Then again there are purses that cost more than that just because the purse has the word Coach on it. His wife who isn’t even black takes things from black culture but never pays respect to the culture she is borrowing from and Kanye just supports this. Kanye has bashes other types music just because it is not his own and he is just so full of himself. He even said he supports Donald Trump which his right, but he probably said that for attention too. Anyways I have never really cared for Kanye I can’t say too much else about him.

#3 James Gunn

He directed both Guardians of the Galaxy movies which are both great. However, I don’t think he will be directing the third since he was recently fired over some ten-year-old tweets. Now tweets shouldn’t get someone fired but if you are making several jokes about pedophilia then that is probable cause to be to be fired. James Gunn made these tweets in his forties and never deleted them. First off why is James Gunn making several jokes about pedophile at the age of 40? He is now 50 and he didn’t use his common sense back then to know those are not things you joke about? Second why is that type of thing on his mind. He didn’t just make one joke about it he made several jokes about child molestation. If that is on his mind constantly then he needs to be psychologically evaluated. I honestly hope he hasn’t acted on the pedophilia because the fact that is something on his mind at age 40 is terrifying and he needs serious help.

#2 Robert Sylvester Kelly/R Kelly

He refers to himself as the Pied Piper of R&B. Which is ironically fitting since he the Pied Piper is known for kidnapping children. R Kelly is one of the most talented singers I have ever heard in my life. I listened to his music growing up. He “wrote” the song “I believe I can fly” and the song “Ignition” Now for those wondering why I put the word in qoutioans its because R Kelly is illiterate he can’t read or write. I am serious he is not dyslexic he has never learned to read or write according to his brother Carrey and Wendy William. Now as I said before R Kelly is one of the most talented singers but sadly he is also one of the most garbage human beings I have ever had the displeasure of hearing about. Where do I even start? There have been stories since the early 90’s of him being a predator. He would hang out at middle schools in Chicago as an adult picking up young girls, and promising[HK1] them money, gift cards and McDonalds. The girls he did get to come to his house he kept him them in their rooms or the basement, forced the girls to call him daddy and made them perform sexual acts on him. He pissed on a fourteen girl and married the singer Aaliyah when she was 15 and he was 27 at the time. In fact, for more detail about R Kelly and his creepy behavior here is a documentary of all the fucked-up things he did. https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p060m6qx When R Kelly was 49 he dated a 19-year-old which wasn’t illegal but given his past history with girls that is just creepy. I also hate the fact he could afford to pay someone to teach him how to read and write but won’t because he used his money for lawyers and paid off the families of the girls he abused to keep them quiet. One day R Kelly will go to jail. I think the reason he stayed out of prison for so long are for two reasons. Number one he is famous and loads of money to pay people off and two he targets young black girls/women who are the least protected group in America. Anyways R Kelly needs to be in prison in solitary confinement until the day he dies. He is disgusting, and he is probably just as disgusting as my next choice for my number one pick.

#1 Gregory Daniel Jackson

He is better known by his YouTube alias Onision. He is a famous youtuber who tries to be like Shane Dawson in video style and in hair style. I put him on the list for the countless fucked-up things he has done to basically gain attention. He has met all his wives and his current wife over the internet while they were either 16 or 17. He was an adult at the time. He flies these women out to his house and has isolated them from their families. He put his first wife on blast because she didn’t want to have sex with him and gave out the number of partners she had as revenge for not wanting to have sex with him. The number was pretty high, then after treating her like garbage he left her several voice mails. If you don’t believe me here is the video of the “voice mails he left for her” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DPnC3n2fpYs&t=1s . His second wife Shiloh lost three years of her memory and posted a video of her having a break down but apparently she was faking I am not entirely sure. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cz_9s9SgQao and then filmed her having a meltdown https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r7HcGsMb5PQ I am linking these videos as proof because Onision is just gross. He encouraged Lainey to get a girlfriend even though she/”they” (Lainey is nonbinary but Onision calls her she all the time so I am not sure what pronoun to use for Lainey so I used both) was not into it. He only encouraged it to for his benefit. He killed his pet turtle/tortoise and to this day he will not admit that he did it. He put his turtle in on the grass put a plastic container upside down over the turtle and left it in the sun for two hours. He never owns up to what he did wrong and when he does he always makes himself out to be the victim. He has made jokes on self-harm, 9/11 and sexual abuse. He has made fun of people who struggle with their weight, eating disorders. He says things but later goes on to deny them. Anyways, he isn’t worth watching but if you plan on watching his videos I advise you to watch with caution. I almost forgot to mention people have had to call animal control on his ass. I pray he goes to prison soon. He even had to get a lawyer to find out if his marriage to his wife was legal or not. He lied about being honorably discharged from the military. Anyways, Onision is a narcissist, a sociopath and psychopath. He needs to go to prison and he doesn’t need to be making youtube videos. I forgot to mention if you are a meat eater Onion boy will hate on you wish death on you and get on his high horse on he is better than you because he doesn’t eat meat. He has done that in the past.

#anti danielle panabaker #anti alexandra shipp #anti marc guggenheim #anti wendy mericle #anti marlene king #anti adam horowitz #anti eddy kitsis #anti kanye west #anti james gunn #anti r kelly #anti julie plec #anti onision #my top 10 #the flarrowverse #pretty little liars #anti pretty little liars #The Flash #gaurdians of the galaxy

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lil-miss-methodical · 6 years

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China: For those of you who haven't noticed - I'm a black female, and this adds influence as to why I love China even more on Disney. Because growing up I noticed that when it comes to Disney, each generation really only gets that one black girl for big Disney productions. When I was growing up that girl was Raven Symone. I haven’t seen many follow after her - in fact I can count on one hand and none of them have yet to be the focal in a film franchise. A lot of people think this generation's is China McClain but the truth is Disney ain't really shown her the respect and shine she deserves. They actually were more courting the bae, Zendaya. This is until she decided to finally throw in the towel and leave it behind.

I was viewing something from Disney the other day and I just felt so frustrated. It was one of their normal productions - girl's finds herself down the proverbial musical hole of adventure and love and I sat there wondering at the lack of balance when it comes to diversity. I'm not saying that Disney hasn't produced features with young black girls at the core...I'm saying they're few and far between and that's still disheartening because they cannot claim lack of talent or reach. China has been under their umbrella for years - she's everything Disney claims to always want - a triple threat - acting, singing, and a dancer. She's animated, and talented, and she already presents herself the role model everyone pretends a Disney star has to be. They can't claim to have no story for her because for one let's be honest - shes that type of actress that Disney should be excited to write for and for two...Uma is presented in a way that she's just picking for a spin off.

The fact that she doesn't have her own film franchise at this point is just jaw dropping and upsetting all at the same time. The window for minorities is still only opened with the slight. And this has just been speaking on black girls in Disney...we always marvel at the fact that there's only one black Disney princess...but the number is about the same for other races that aren't white. I can't turn on my local Disney channel and find many Asian/Latina/ Indian/etc girls leading the musical journey to self discovery and love either.

And don't get me wrong - on one hand I would even argue that someone of that production saw the potential in both China and Uma and lowkey wanted that spinoff. I say that because there was heavy set up in the writing of the character and her story that demanded more. There was also these side elements like the undercurrent between Uma and Harry leading him to be her possible interest. And while fans like to disrespect these factors by - ignoring them and pretending like there was a display between Harry and anybody but Uma...it is in fact there and intentional. When we get to the end there's this set up of openness and presentation of continuity - audience can easily believe with it all that Uma would be getting her shine in her own story in that moment. So yes, I do believe someone behind the scenes had this concept of a spin off but the small sneak peek of the next film seems to have closed the window even more. Maybe they saw fandom response - read - lack of love/respect for Uma and in some ways China herself. And that's another frustration all of its own.

China did her job - she didn't only perform - she brought down the house, set it on fire then rebuilt from the ashes. So when I say Uma deserves better...I also mean the actress herself. People sit in their homes and sing along to her anthem Whats My Name and they don't see how it speaks on both the character and the young woman behind her brilliance.

Uma: As I've already said, Uma means more to me than a fictional character I like. She stands for more than that. I could list a million reasons why Uma deserves her story to be told...but the truth is, only one reason matters - She has a story that can carry itself and people are interested in that story. That's it, that simple.

Uma is an interesting character. The moment she enters the scene she steals the show. There's an electricity to her...she's consumed with all the disrespect and deprecation she's experience during her short life, she's driven by a ball of bitterness at being left behind and tossed aside. Externally her actions are wrong but her emotions and her displeasure are stemmed from a very real place that in itself is valid. There are these moments that present whats underneath all that hardness and bluff that she fights to hide - the side of her that sings her anthem about people knowing her name but she doesn't forget the main message - US. You left us here and we're going to show you that leaving us here is the worst decision. She speaks not of leaving hers behind, she is in fact the reason the sea3 exist it's her keeps that image in front of them as she stands between the two. That moment on the deck when Mal throws the VKs in her face and she turns towards Harry with her eyeroll and that 'show ha who my bestie is' chin tap she gives Harry - this isn't as haters describe - to get at Mal, so much as to say, you're not the only one with friends honey and mine are willing to fight for me this time around - I know loyalty and mine are bad too. Uma is a murical character. Mal says something mean and Uma giggles, Mal tells her her bite ain't nothing - she shows her teeth. Mal taunts her with her lack of being able to be a VK, Uma shows whose on her team. She refuses to let Mal have anything over her head on the small table because the girl already has so much power over her. However, as bad as she wants to screw over Mal she does not choose to throw over a beloved friend to do so...that had been done to her and she knows how it feels.

It's this duality that makes one want to fight for her, cheer her on, want her to overcome. It's always difficult to watch those who were hurt want to hurt. But that's sometimes reality, it's a cycle. I hate the way the franchise treats Uma though. As though Mal has no place in her battle. As though Mal is the hero that was just chosen. That's not true at all and Mal has yet to take in the lesson herself, for any chance she gets she feeds that little monster inside Uma that tells her she's not good enough, that she's worthless, unimportant. How do you have a franchise about bad being a gray area and we as humans being salvageable but then feeding into fandoms disgusting habits by claiming Mal is better than Uma.

She's driven mad by anything related to Mal because of Mals constant reminder to her worth. It's easy from what you see or read to assume that Uma's relationship with her mother ain't stable. Seems like Ursula borders on depressed and her only real interaction with her daughter stems from having her and her crew work in her shop. She (Ursula) had failed and been banished and as far as she could see her daughter wasn't even capable enough to rule the prison they'd all been banished to much less total domination. There is a def lack of interaction here unlike with the VKs and their mother's. This makes Uma's interest in lasting bonds not a stretch because thats the kind of thing she hasn't experienced - the VKs were probably like the golden standard - they had the power, and the familial bond. But joining with them is an absolute no go cause Mal hates her guts. We in turn get the sea3. I prefer this to be honest. Because reality is - sometimes there's these groups you think have everything you want and you wanna be apart of it but they ain't nothing but poison for you. I had that experience in high school so that concept is relatable. I don't want the franchise to end with Uma joining the VKs. The ones that surround her now - at her low point and still tell her she matters - are the ones she should remain with. Heck I don't even want Uma future to be represented like the VKs. People are so interested in getting out...instead of fixing what's there. I think someone like Uma who can relate to all the bad sides of that life and what comes with it, she would be a great asset to the kids who like her had negativity and self doubt built into them. Taking them out of the zone isn't enough. Some of these kids have the belief that the life they have is all they're worth.

Uma's dream isn't actually to take over the world. It's to prove to people that she's somebody worth something and I for one think that's a hella message.

Ships: Let me start off by admitting that I don't take those who ship Ben and Uma seriously. It seems people think they're cute cause he said some nice things when his life was in danger...romance that does not make. Ben reminds me that some people pay you in lip service, but when the time for action is needed they're missing. That's not to say that Ben doesn't honestly want to do right by Uma and those left behind after seeing how that can affect them, and I'm here for a distant type of friendship out of them...that's about it cause I'm honestly just not a fan of Ben. He's 50 shades of boring. I can't even conceive the notion of him and Uma because the thought of him being a match for Harry is laughable at best. Plus I don't like the concept of male presence and voice of reason making a female come to her senses that comes with Ben. I like the concept of female self discovery coming from within...not because of some random guy that never actually put any effort in placating her life.

I refuse to even give the Mal and Uma ship any shine these days because I realize the bull it is and how disrespectful it is to China and Uma as a character. All these headcanons that makes Mal the center of everyone's love and Uma the one with left overs and adding another level to how she got left behind isn't really entertaining to me. To pretend that Uma is just a scorned lover instead of a girl that was bullied and reeling for someone to see her worth is something I'm not willing to do either.

I'm all in for Harry and Uma and it's more than that amazing chemistry Thomas and China has and the fact that they're both stunners who look good together in these forms. No it's because he's the best friend she deserves. He's the family that's not made of blood but bonds and choice. He accepts all of her - he in no way try's to demean her, he doesn't tell her how amazing she is, he tells other people yes but he shows her. This is because he understands where that need comes from. He can empathize with her need for captainship, for control, for power. And he doesn't mind giving into those needs because it does him no foul. Anything she needs is his first priority. Her enemies are his enemies. Anyone steps out of line with her he pushes them back in often before she even notices there's an issue. To be frank there’s a need for others to see her worth and Harry does. There are times he literally feeds into it - The scene at the shop where she turns towards him and says with all that desperation in her voice, ‘what’s my name’ he doesn’t hesitate, doesn’t balk. Instead he looks her directly in the eye, leans so she’s over him (towering helps one feel power), pulls off his hat (a sign of seriousness and respect), and says in a deep guttural voice - ‘Uma’. He understands her and intentionally maneuvers to help her in overt and subtle ways. The reason I love this though is because it's not used in a messy way. Thats t’s not used as a solution to her problem. It shows his love for her, yes. Its important, yes. It keeps her moving and pushing but its not a solution to her problem because in truth it's not other people that need to see her worth...it's her that needs to see and believe it. But with Harry, she can have love and self discovery- without one erasing the other and I'm here for that.

I also just really love their dynamic. I find it fascinating that people have this so called problem with their dynamic - the fact that she leads and he follows. Why is it when a woman has the control in the relationship or dynamic she is then therefore manipulative and in essences bad. Why is it a male is seen as weaker if he follows a female instead of falling into the assumption of having to lead. Why is the male not seen as strong for going against the processes of society, for choosing the role that makes him happy, for not resisting her power - her claim- her needs. Understand that Harry chooses to follow Uma. She has cast no spell on him, she’s not bending his arm. No one can control Harry, most people can’t even talk to him, he does what he wants consequences be damn - until it comes to Uma.

She’s the captain and yet there's no subtle resentment no harshness. I think this is because she doesn't forget to let him have his moment, have his shine. Normally a captain has a sense of greedy - I, I, I - and while Uma uses her I words, she stills lets his soak up the shine with her. They’re gonna take over together - not one overshadowing the other. In the shine of her anthem Uma is the focal yes, but like she doesn't forget to shine on the us concept of we all got left behind - there is this intentional positioning of Harry. This is intentional because while its the sea3 - only the two of them needs that kind of presence. Gil is not consumed in that way. But with Harry, he’s either always at her helm opening up the image to her or beside her. There's only one moment his not and it's with her at his helm. She's perched on her thrown and he has the stage (one that until that moment only she has been able to present on) and he's preforming and she has the best seat in the house, front row center. It's the imagery that really sets up what their dynamic is. They can say how attached they are but it's not until you see just how joined at the hip they in fact are that you believe it. It's the little things that prove their understanding of one another. People like to pretend it's about her manipulating him and it's really not. They're friends and they have similarities that bond them - they both have these needs to be 'legends' that in some way stem from their parent. This is why they both in some way allow the other to be in the forefront getting that shine.

In a few ways I feel like we’ve only scraped the surface of their dynamic. Theres this scene in the film where they’re at the shop and he’s giving her this look and its this intense moment because they’re faced to face and its almost like a challenge. This is way different from their normal dynamic where he usually gives into her. This time however, he chooses to tower over her, lean into her space. Theres something sensual in the air, as though he’s daring her. You def get the feeling of in this moment they’re both aware of whats between them and he’s silently telling her to step up but she’s the resistant one and in the end has to look away - doing something she normally does not like to do, back down from a challenge. I lived in this moment, because it was such a small scene but held so much power to undercurrents of their relationship and their characters. I would love to see this side of them explored more.

One thing I fear about for their relationship though is not just her resistance and fear, but also who Harry is. Like Uma, what he does is deeply tied to his past and identity. Out of all the characters, he’s the one who most likes the world of the bad. He doesn’t have a personal vendetta against Mal but he does find her new found goodness to be boring and a betrayal to what they all stand for. He hates been not for the silly reason Dove created, but simply because Ben stands for goodness. The more Ben talks the more he dislikes him (I can relate). If you watch Harry you notice he actually watches Uma a lot. There is a big part of him that loves the bloodthirsty malevolent side of her. There are times he gazes upon her with this look of worry like she will give in to the good that others are speaking of. Every time she does something to oppose that he grins, like a real life I’m happy presentation. So I wonder if Uma does have her redemption moment how does that effect Harry. Honestly I can’t imagine Uma not having that dual side of herself. Just like I can’t picture Harry walking around Auradon in preppy clothes and singing at prom. So I am interested to see how that could all play out and how and where they can find their place in a way that really works for them.

Huma is just that good stuff. It doesn't have to be over said...their actions put them in that position.

Things I want but most likely won't get from Disney: *A Uma forefront focal film...really the sea 3 could really have their own show if we're honest *Mal to face how her actions affects others...and an apology would be nice *Huma...huma...did I say Huma! Not that fake surface interaction but that deep soul kinda thing. They have it and many want to see it put to work. *If Uma has to have a slow song - let it be something Todrick Hall's Painting in the Rain. It opens with -

Sticks and stones Hurt harder when you know their thrown From no farther than your own sweet home And you fall flat on the welcome mat You won't be welcomed at (walk that line) There's no when you gotta choose a side There's no gray there's only black and white And it just ain't right If we fight then it's just like Painting in the rain

I think a song with this kind of vibe would be perfect because it speaks on her own personal struggles while also speaking on the general message of not just fighting, but fighting for the right side. Of course it can't be this song - Todrick's speaking more on the lack of equality in the matters of race and sexuality and how we’re slowing progression. But this same vibe, this same tone of story telling would be great for Uma and China really has range with her voice that they could use for a number like this. Given the times we're in, given Uma's message - it could be a powerful number.

I've been having this daydream of Harry and Uma doing this big dance number on the ship with the pirate crew. It's loud and big - with a lot of bang in the beat because pirates are rowdy and always hit the counts. But it's also salsa-ish and sexy with the theme of love - because come on it's Huma. This number just won't leave my head y'all - and it got worse the other day because Todrick released Forbidden and he has a song called Forever and it is everything I imagined for this number! Every time I hear it I can see the scene even clearer. Uma's hair isn't in braids it's long and loose down her back in curls like China had it during rehearsals. As they dance Harry watches her with those magnetic eyes of his. When that second half beat drops in some of the pirate members take the floor with Gil as the lead for a sick stomp number that has the floorboards jumping and dust dancing into the air. This moment isn't about them being angry, it's just them having a moment. It's Harry getting Uma to let go for one second and just let loose and have fun. I think it's important to show the downtime side of them not just the side that is consumed with getting their due.

*More freaking Gil! Who is he, what makes him tick? And yes I'm here for him being gay.

*More Harry backstory

Honestly I don't think they are gonna give me anything I want in this next production. That little snippet was enough to make me feel that way. The productions handle of promoting has led me to believe that. If I'm being frank they'll probably ruin Uma in the next one. I try to hold onto hope but Disney ain't got a good track record. They never know when to let go, they continue to beat the dead horse so to speak by trying to force the same character we've already moved on from onto us. But that's the American entertainment way...even when there is an audience begging for something that's missing...

But don't get it twisted - As a character Uma has it all. And as a fan, I'm always ready to watch another Queen conquer.

#disney descendants #uma #harry hook #huma #China Anne McClain #films #representation #diversity #gil #opinion piece #character appreciation #part 3 #female characters #black characters

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poppyssupergirl · 6 years

Text

Hair Care

Based off a head-cannoning session with @quietpersona as I finished my last essay of the semester.

You can also read this on AO3

This is SuperCat btw, set in season 1. It dumb.

As most interactions begin with Kiara, this one begins normally. A pen through her hair.

It's safe to say that perhaps (maybe) Cat has thought about replacing the pens with her own fingers. To let those long, silky strands slide across her palm before leaning in to press her lips-

Ah yes, budget sheets.

Anyway, Kiara, besides never using conditioner and always looking like a whirlwind had ripped through her house, leaving her with nary a hairbrush to be found, has decent enough hair.

------

The next item is a little… less normal.

She's noticed the uptick in her little assistant’s snacking habit since last week. But really, with a new WonderGirl flying around National City, she hasn't had the time to think about it.

Well besides the way she licks her fingers after every sweet treat.

She thinks about that more than she even admits to herself.

But watching Kerian pull a small bag of beef jerky from between her scrumptious tresses is just… weird. But her police radio hook-in beeps out a warning and Cat's already snapping at reporters to get out there “And see if that SuperGirl shows up”

----

Kara keeps medical supplies in her hair.

This would make a lot less sense if Supergirl wasn't flying around and slapping Elmo band-aids on every child's knee in, what could conceivably be, the entire fucking universe. Honestly, the woman’s a damn menace to Cat's media coverage. She needs something between these alien fights that's not Kara kneeling down and being so gentle and kind and kneeling and why in all of fucks sake is it her own luck that Cat always gets the weird assistants?

Not that she'd ever replace Kara, she’s damn amazing at her job, but still, a superhero? How even is this real?

Helpful at times? Yes. Not helpful when Kara galivants off to bandage yet another knee? YES.

----

At this point she just shouldn't be surprised at what Kara keeps in her hair. Or drops out of Kara's hair, right on the floor in front of her glass door.

A kitten?

An actual kitten?

Like of the feline householdus order? Or family? Or what the fuck ever, there's a cat on her floor. A cat. Alive.

It mewls pitifully and Kara spins so quickly she rustles papers on neighboring desks.

How has she kept any secret ever?

Her eyes meet Cat's, and Cat's a bit in shock so she just shakes her head. She will not fall to those eyes, she will not fall- no,

Fuck

And pretends to be too caught up in budget sheets to notice anything else.

---

Okay. Look. There's only so much Cat can take.

Kara, damn her, is asleep on her balcony. Suited up with sticks and twigs and leaves and a branch the size of Cat's arm tangled in her hair.

Cat, or course, keeps a brush in her en suite (unlike Kara who keeps no brushes anywhere at all, ever) and this is too many fantasies rolled into one and Cat never said she was a good person, okay? Okay.

She starts with the leaves, they're malleable. With a brush and her fingers and the unending anger of a woman who is most certainly NOT in love with her stupid, genius, superhero assistant, she works all but the branch out before Kara starts to twitch awake.

Her eyes. Oh no. Her droopy, dumb, sleep-filled, cute-as-can-be eyes with her tousled hair and

Jesus

“Ms. Grant?”

“Ah, you're finally awake. Here I thought I could get Robert to chainsaw this branch out of your hair without waking you.”

Kara chuckles and closes her eyes as Cat continues to brush like she trusts Cat. Like she likes what Cat is doing. Like Cat's going to have a damn hernia if Kara makes that content little grumble again.

“His name is Randolph, Ms. Grant.”

“Same difference”

Like she trusts Cat.

-----

Her assistant is asleep at her desk, again. Though, Kara does have a fairly good excuse, what with the alien attack and the clock hitting 11:37 pm. Carter’s at his father's, so Cat had used the extra time to put together a much better lay-out than what had been dropped on her desk earlier that day.

She's certainly not moping. She certainly wasn't harder on her staff this fine, fine Friday. She doesn't mind weekends alone. Not at all.

So anyway, Kara's asleep and there's nothing in her hair for once, well, not that Cat can discern anyway. She's certainly close enough to discern things too, across the desk in fact.

Kara has this gravity to her, a weight, that Cat just can't pull herself from. It's gotten bad too. Her fantasies aren't just new and exciting sexual forays anymore.

She's waking up in Kara's arms and making her pancakes and laughing at the chocolate on her nose and waiting for Carter to wake up so they can all go to the zoo, which is, frankly, fucking ridiculous and her therapist isn't helping at all.

“Follow your heart, Cat.”

Follow your feet out the damn door, she can get advice like that from the Disney channel that Carter pretends he doesn't still love.

She doesn't know what overtakes her -okay she does but ‘romantic sentimentality’ sounds dumb- but she takes a pen and a piece of paper and scrolls out a little poem. Valentine's day is just around the corner, right?

She folds the paper and slips it ever so gently into Kara's tresses, lingering just for a moment, before heading back into her office.

---

She doesn't notice Kara pulling the paper from her hair as soon as she’s turned around.

---

It's a shitty day. It's raining, Cat's shoe broke, there's a trashcan fire starting on her damn boardroom group message page, and Kara still has not replied to her poem. So she's a jittery mess when her driver says it'll be yet another twenty minutes because of flooding.

“Shit.”

“Need a lift, Ms. Grant?”

And okay, Cat maybe has a small heart attack and presses herself against the concrete wall she's taking shelter against, but that's certainly all Kara's fault. And why in all of the good graces’ names, does she look so good sopping wet?

Okay no- no, not that way, stop. No, like drenched from rain not- no

“Oh, shouldn't you be off saving people from burning buildings or something?”

She smirks.

Kara

Smirking

What?

“I also get calls to save cats from gutters though.”

Oh, oh no. No that is where Cat draws the line. Puns on her name are just, no highly muscled arms are wrapping around her after such a comment. Not today!

But Kara's laughing and hiding her guffaws (guffaws? Really? Ugh) behind her hand and Cat can't muster up any more irritation than a roll of her eyes and a slap to Kara's bicep.

“Har har, very funny, now up up and away, Supergirl. If you're planning to actually save this damsel in distress, anyway.”

“I always save the damsel in distress.”

Well, saving maybe, but being pressed up against Kara's wet, warm body and rocketing above the city puts Cat into a whole new kind of distress.

“I liked your poem.”

Oh shit

“I've been trying to come up with a reply that's equally eloquent, but I kinda lose my train of thought when I look at you.”

What?

“I'd very much like to paint you though, if uh, you wouldn't mind, of course!”

“.... Cat?”

At some point, even the mightiest break.

---

She's delicately placing tiny chocolates into Kara's hair before her… partner? Girlfriend sounds very odd to her… wakes up and demands something to eat. Which, given last night’s activities, very well could be Cat herself.

“Cat, what are you doing?”

“Is your hair as strong as the rest of you? Can it be cut?”

“Uh, it's not but it's still strong? Alex said something about it being dead cells and not living and I lost her after that, but it can be cut with really sharp scissors made of a hard material. Why? Do you think I should get it cut?”

Mhhhhh, well that would be quite the look too. “No, or not yet at least, but you've always got things in your hair. It doesn't ever hurt?”

“Oh, no not really.”

“Hmmm”

She goes back to placing chocolates in the silence of the morning.

“I'm hungry.”

“You're always hungry.”

“I could really do with something sweet and savory right now.”

“That sounds like an unhealthy breakfast.”

“Don't worry, I'm sure we can find some way to burn it off together.”

“Mhhmm, and am I partaking in this breakfast?”

“Well… are you hungry?”

Kara sits up, chocolates tumbling from her hair, and the sheet slips down to her waist.

“Oh, very.”

#supercat #very short #set in season 1 #Cat knew all along #fluffy #dumb

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jennacha · 6 years

Text

here’s a big rant about The Child Thief

ok i have a big confession to make

I’m kind of obsessed with the book The Child Thief.

It’s not a particularly good book. In fact, I would go as far to say it’s poor. The writing has the cadence of 15-year-old-going-through-their-novelist-phase. I guess I could say it reads like fan fiction. The plot is very messy. The characters are badly written. It feels like a book that wasn’t edited. The word “magic” is used a lot, and it’s embarrassing. There’s a part where a character slams their fist on the ground and yells “WHY?!” and it’s embarrassing. The dialogue feels like it came out of a 1990s teen adventure fantasy movie trying to imitate the success of a Corey Feldman/Haim movie. Several times throughout the book the thought, “Why did the author do this?” popped in my head. However, the author is a fantasy illustrator, so the descriptive writing is a plus. He knows how to illustrate the landscape with words as well as he would in painting. The book is not a special unit dumpster fire piece of shit insult to literature; in fact, as far as I know a lot of people like it and it has gotten a decent amount of praise. It’s just not very good, in terms of the surface level writing. But I can easily see a lot of people enjoying it for basic entertainment value.

So that would be my YA-focus blog summary review of the book.

My public outcry summary review of the book is this:

I’m obsessed with the book because it’s so fucking weird.

It’s so fucking weird in that it’s a perfect shitstorm of the author not knowing what he’s doing, and thinking he’s knowing what he’s doing. Like a perfect bad B-movie that exhibits textbook schlock where the director is incompetent and clueless but lacks any self-awareness, in terms of style, layout, and production.

But also, the author thinks what he’s doing is…cool.

The book is about evil Peter Pan.

I could end this whole thing right there. But I must release these hounds. I’ve been needing to let all this out.

My wretched insanity craves affirmation.

This book should be a carbon copy of every other average to below average dark fantasy novel that you see on the bookstore shelves and never heard of and wonder what the author is doing now with all their not-fame. This book should be one that could’ve been written by anybody and it wouldn’t have made a difference. This book should be one of sixty million examples of nothing special. In a way, it is definitely 100% yes definitely yes all those things. The universe decided that I would be the bearer of the burden of having much stronger feelings about it then necessary. I probably feel more strongly about it than the author ever did. It is in my life now.

The biggest thing about this book being so fucking weird is the mind boggling tonal inconsistency. There are a number of shifts in universe-encompassing moods, which go from “Christopher-Nolan-but-also-kind-of-Stephanie-Meyer-dark-gloomy-the-world-is-unhappy-and-I-like-it-that-way”, to “David-Fincher-the-world-is-ACTUALLY-awful”, to “Oh-right-this-is-a-Peter-Pan-story-whimsical-fun-Goonies-meets-Disney-Channel-original”, to “A-worse-version-of-The-Hobbit-movies-with-some-redeeming-qualities”, to “Quentin-Tarantino-literally-wrote-this.” This isn’t hyperbole. The writing language can be REALLY EMBARRASSING and straight out of a Disney movie. That tone of a fun romp for the whole family is cradled by an abundance of swearing, unsettling fantasy-horror, and extreme, shocking violence.

You know when you’re watching Beetlejuice, and you’re like “Okay this movie is for children” and then out of nowhere Michael Keaton goes “NICE FUCKIN’ MODEL” and grabs his dick.

In The Child Thief, THAT washes over you every time you finish reading a sentence. Only, it’s as if you’re watching Hook, and at one point Robin Williams slices a person’s face off, and the camera stays on the faceless person for a minute and Steven Spielberg walks into frame and points to the gurgling faceless head and describes to you how you can still see the holes where the mouth, nose, and eyes were.

(Yes that actually happens in the book.)

Or if you’re watching Neverending Story and at one point you get expository dialogue explaining how Atreyu was pimped as a boy and had to live on the streets because his mother was, uh, a drug addict or something?.

(That also happens.)

Or if you’re watching Indian in the Cupboard and the film opens with a little girl about to get raped by her dad.

(I’m serious.)

Or if you’re watching Hocus Pocus and Bette Midler is a vampire and she preys on a 6-year-old kid and neither of them have shirts on.

(I swear to god.)

Or if you’re reading a modern re-imagining of Peter Pan and the story involves blatant themes of gore in acute descriptive detail, mass murder, torture, and scenes with naked women and perverted fantasy-creature-men.

(Oh, wait.)

You’re probably thinking, “All those themes are found pretty much everywhere in every medium, especially the naked women and perverts. Big whoop.” I’ll add, then, all those themes, involving children.

Now you’re thinking, “Jenna don’t you love that movie Drag Me To Hell which involves a child being murdered within the first 2.5 minutes?”

Just hear me out and yes.

The Child Thief is entertaining in how CAPTIVATING the strangeness is. The tonal mishmash of kid-friendly meets rated-R is something I actually like, when it's a hit. I like things that have a quality of whimsy amidst dark themes. Movies such as Temple of Doom, Gremlins, Return to Oz, Darkman have this quality…basically almost every movie from the 1980s during the period when audiences had grown up with movies after censorship was abolished and half the world said “think of the children” and the other half said “no.” There are tons and tons of other examples in every medium of how general tonal contrast makes for unique and effective works of art. My point is, this specific type of tonal contrast also can be done well.

But those movies don’t open with attempted child rape, and they don’t end with children literally being mowed down in a grisly battle scene (I’m serious). I’m making a lot of comparisons to movies because the book almost feels like a movie, in that the author isn’t a novelist, he’s a visual story-maker who wrote a book because he knew that no movie studio would pick this shit up. Maybe the films I listed didn’t intend for tonal contrast to be a calculated driving element for their stories, but the subtlety of tones in those movies allows for one encompassing, harmonious tonal blanket to wrap them in. There is no subtlety in The Child Thief.

The tonal confusion of The Child Thief is, I almost wanna say coincidental. I think the author just didn’t know how to write well, but he’s a very dark visual guy and had all these dark visuals in his head ready to be unleashed. All the horrible violence and awful themes are fine in and of itself, but they aren’t earned if the attitude of “I’m gunna turn the children’s book foundation on its head” isn’t committed to, and “I’m gunna subvert everything you know and love about Peter Pan” isn’t calculatedly plotted out. The author has a bad sense of humor, a poor understanding of what is required of an epic storyline, and treats violence, horror and revenge less like a literary device and more like a fetishization of coolness in a vulgar display of power as a writer.

The misguidedness goes as far as the character writing. None of the characters’ motivations make sense. The author couldn’t keep track of either committing to one motivation or the other, a lot of the times for the sake of the plot. Especially with the Peter Pan character. He’s basically literally the anti-christ (this is 100% canon, if the author says it isn’t then he’s a liar and an idiot) and written like a “troubled villain” but then gets these VERY polarized directions of unrelenting psychopathic Cause It’s Die Motherfucka Die Motherfucka Still, Fool villainy and ham-fisted humanism and victimhood. It’s a case of like, the author meant for him to be the charming bad guy who tricks the audience into being on his side because that’s what Peter does to the characters in the book. But the author found him too cool and wanted to be his friend, but in order to justify being friends with a character who wants to murder everybody, he inappropriately gives him remorse and forces the reader to feel bad for him.

And like all the kids in the book are supposed to super love Peter Pan but the version of Neverland is like this horrific, NIGHTMARE HELL of a place and the kids are basically being used to fight in a war, and all the kids are totally okay with it, because their lives in the real world were really awful and the whole thing is that Peter “saves” them and they’ll do anything for him. And it’s like, okay???????????????????? But wouldn’t it be cooler if the kids were like okay this guy is a fucking psycho and Neverland is a horrific, nightmare hell and I’m learning a lot about myself right now having once trusted him???? And then in their retaliation Peter would show his true colors and enforce aggression onto them in serving as his personal enslaved militia? And it becomes like this inner circle of conflict? And since Peter is the only person who can bring them back to the real world, they play ball but hope to steer their own agenda out of the situation? OH, right, that DOES happen, but with ONE of the characters. ONE. Conveniently, the main character. And god knows there can’t be more than one smart human being at a time.

But if you want to SUBVERT the BELOVED CHILDREN’S STORY FORMAT wouldn’t it be fun to do PETER PAN VS. THE LOST BOYS? Instead of MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE PETER PAN AND THE HOT TOPIC LOST BOYS VS. THE ONLY SEMI-SMART MAIN CHARACTER? Like wouldn’t it be GREAT if the characters WEREN'T DUMB? And the author put in some CONSTRUCTIVE, CHALLENGING CREATIVE EFFORT and treated the interactions like a CHESS GAME instead of a CONTRIVED MISUNDERSTANDING BETWEEN JOEY, ROSS, CHANDLER, RACHEL, MONICA AND THE OTHER ONE? Wouldn’t it be GREAT if ALL THE CHARACTERS TURNED AGAINST PETER but then Peter SLOWLY CHARMED SOME OR ALL OF THEM BACK IN, to make him MORE like an UNEARTHLY MONSTER? Like the lost boys became SELF-AWARE LITERAL VICTIMS OF THE ORIGINAL TALE FORMAT, where Peter Pain is this IMPOSSIBLY CHARMING CHARACTER THAT IS BELOVED BY THE LAWS OF THE UNIVERSE? ALSO, the MAIN CHARACTER is supposed to be the MODEL OF REASON FOR THE READER TO RELATE TO, but the main character still gets CHARMED BY PETER PAN, WHILE WE KNOW AS RATIONAL ADULTS WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING TO HAPPEN? LIKE THAT’S SUPPOSED TO BE HOW READING BOOKS IS? When we KNOW WHAT’S GUNNA HAPPEN? BUT THE AUTHOR WANTS TO BE PETER’S FRIEND SO HE DOES IT ANYWAY? AND LIKE SEVERAL OTHER CHARACTERS THAT THE MAIN CHARACTER IS FRIENDS WITH ARE ALSO SUPPOSED TO BE FIGURES OF REASON BUT THEY’RE ALSO 100% PARTISAN IN SIDING WITH PETER? SO IT’S LIKE HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LIKE ALL YOU DUMB, DUMB KIDS?

LIKE OKAY, SO HOW IT GOES IS THAT PETER CAN LIKE WALK ACROSS THE DIMENSION BETWEEN NEVERLAND AND THE REAL WORLD AND THAT'S HOW HE GETS THE KIDS? SO AT ONE POINT IN NEVERLAND THEY ALL HAVE TO SCAVENGE FOR FOOD BECAUSE THE VEGETATION IN NEVERLAND IS DYING, AND THEY MENTION HOW PETER USED TO BRING THEM FOOD FROM THE REAL WORLD? AND IT'S LIKE, HOW ABOUT YOU JUST KEEP DOING THAT? OR LIKE, WHY DON'T ANY OF YOU WANT TO JUST LEAVE? YEAH THE REAL WORLD SUCKS, BUT IS IT WORTH STARVING TO DEATH JUST SO YOU CAN STICK IT TO THE MAN? LIKE ARE THERE PEDIATRICIANS IN NEVERLAND? ARE THERE AT-RISK YOUTH SHELTERS? FOSTER CARE? NEVERLAND SOUP KITCHENS? NEVERLAND SOCIAL WORKERS? NEVERLAND CHILD PROTECTIVE SERVICES? NEVERLAND POLICE? NO? JUST MONSTERS THAT PAINFULLY KILL YOU, ZOMBIE PIRATES, NO FOOD, AND LITERALLY THE ANTI-CHRIST?

AND THEN THERE’S RIDICULOUS SHIT LIKE, AT ONE POINT ALL THESE MAGICAL FANTASY CHARACTERS HIJACK A NEW YORK CITY FERRY TO GET TO THE HARBOR AND IT’S LIKE, THIS IS SO RIDICULOUS IT SHOULD BE AWESOME, BUT IT ISN’T AWESOME BUT IT SHOULD BE SO WHY ISN’T IT?

AND LIKE ONE OF THE CHARACTERS IS A FAT USELESS KID NAMED DANNY AND THERE IS NO REASON FOR HIM TO BE IN THE BOOK BESIDES TO BE THE TOKEN FAT USELESS KID NAMED DANNY?

BUT DANNY IS LIKE ALSO THE ONLY OTHER SMART CHARACTER IN THE BOOK BECAUSE HE’S LIKE WHY DID I SAY YES TO THIS WHY ARE WE STILL FOLLOWING THIS GUY WHY DON’T WE JUST LEAVE AND IT’S LIKE YEAH PUT DANNY IN CHARGE BUT NOBODY LISTENS TO HIM AND HE’S JUST COMPLETELY UTTERLY USELESS?

AND THEN CAPTAIN HOOK ADOPTS DANNY AND IT’S LIKE OH MY GOD THE AUTHOR FORGOT HE NEEDED TO GIVE DANNY SOMETHING TO DO?

AND LIKE I DON’T EVEN REMEMBER THE MAIN CHARACTER’S NAME?

AND THEN AT THE END OF THE BOOK, SO, THERE’S THIS BIG HUGE BATTLE SCENE WHERE CHILDREN DIE LEFT AND RIGHT, LIKE THE “ANTAGONIST” (NOT PETER) HAS A HUGE SWORD AND IS SWINGING AT THE KIDS LIKE HE’S HARVESTING WHEAT, OH AND YEAH, BY THE WAY, AGAIN, THE REAL WORLD IS LOCATED IN NEW YORK CITY AND THE BATTLE HAPPENS ON LIKE THE FRONT LAWN OF A LIBRARY OR SOMETHING. LIKE THE STORY KIND OF TOTALLY GOES OFF THE RAILS INTO FANTASTIC SCHLOCK. AND AT ONE POINT THE BATTLE IS ABRUPTLY INTERRUPTED BY NYC POLICE AND IT’S LIKE ARE YOU SHITTING MY NUTS THE NYC COPS ARE INVOLVED IN THIS FANTASY BATTLE THIS IS AMAZING, BUT THEN THAT DOESN’T HAPPEN AND IT GOES NOWHERE. AND ALL THE MAIN CHARACTERS ARE DYING, AND NONE OF THEM HAD ARCS, LIKE NONE OF THEM REALIZED WHAT THEY GOT THEMSELVES INTO OR WHAT PETER REALLY WAS, AND AT THE ACT 3 POST-LOW POINT THE MAIN CHARACTER DIDN’T GO OFF TO DO HIS OWN THING AND TRY TO SAVE THE DAY, HE JUST GOES WITH PETER TO DO WHATEVER HE WANTS, AND THEN HIS ARC IS BASICALLY NOTHING AND THEN HE DIES. AND *PETER* WINS. AND AGAIN HE’S LITERALLY THE ANTI CHRIST SO THE BOOK ENDS WITH HIM BRIDGING THE REAL WORLD WITH NEVERLAND, AND BASICALLY BEING THE BRINGER OF HELL UNTO THE EARTH. AND UP UNTIL THEN THE BOOK HAD ABOUT 68 INSTANCES OF THE READER SWITCHING BETWEEN FEELING BAD FOR PETER AND THEN ACCEPTING THAT HE IS HITLER NURSE RATCHED MAO STALIN. SO WHEN ALL THE KIDS DIE, HE HAS A SCENE OF FEELING REALLY BAD AND THE READER IS SUPPOSED TO BE ALL LIKE AW HE REALLY DOES CARE! AND THEN NEVERLAND GETS BRIDGED INTO NEW YORK CITY, AND HE’S LIKE HA HA HA HA I DID IT I WON. BUT IT’S WRITTEN IN SUCH A WAY THAT LIKE, THE AUDIENCE IS SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE, WHEEEEEE! LIKE THIS THING THAT HAPPENED IS THE DOOM OF MANKIND, AND THE TONE SHOULD REALLY BE “OH GOD NO.” BUT THE AUTHOR WAS HAPPY THAT PETER WON IN THE END BECAUSE HE WANTS TO BE HIS FRIEND, EVEN THOUGH LIKE FIFTEEN PAGES AGO PETER CAUSED THE DEATH OF AN ARMY OF CHILDREN (AFTER ANOTHER 600 PAGES OF ALL KINDS OF OTHER AWFUL SHIT). SO NOT ONLY ARE WE SUPPOSED TO FEEL SAD THAT PETER FEELS SAD, BUT THEN WE’RE SUPPOSED TO FEEL HAPPY THAT PETER FEELS HAPPY. HOW ABOUT GO FUCK YOURSELF? HOW ABOUT IF YOU’RE GOING TO MAKE PETER A CHALLENGING UNRELIABLE ANTI-HERO, DON’T MAKE HIS DARK QUALITIES SO INCONTESTABLY EVIL, OR, EITHER CHOOSE TO MAKE PETER HATED BY THE AUDIENCE, OR MAKE THE AUDIENCE FEEL FOOLISH FOR BEING CHARMED BY PETER AND PARTLY RESPONSIBLE FOR ALL THE BAD SHIT THAT HAPPENED AND GO FUCK YOURSELF?

...

I’ll give a different example of both tonal incongruence and bad character writing.

So, the opening scene of the book that involves attempted child rape, so. What happens is that Peter saves the little girl in time by killing the dad, and gains her trust to go to Neverland. The way the story regards the introduction to Peter is that of wonder and curiosity through the little girl’s eyes, as if it was derived from the original children’s tale. So the opener is meant to establish: a gritty “realness” to the book (which is never earned but i digress), and Peter as a mysterious magical hero. Then, the story carries on into describing Peter’s motivation in saving (the book uses “stealing”) children, which vaguely mentions his villainous indulgence (he’s saving children to recruit them in an army in Neverland to fight captain hook because his mommy is the president of neverland and there’s almost-Oedipal themes going on). Fine. However, the cadence of Peter actually being villainous is very very…undermined. Like the actual voice of the NARRATION is misinformed. Like the narration sounds more like Peter’s inner monologue speaking in the third person. Like the third person is in on it. Like the author is painting Peter as this wicked wrongdoer as if it’s a cool thing and he wants to be his friend (Oh wait).

This is how the voice of the opener is handled: Child rape —> Peter prevents child rape and saves child —> Peter is a good guy for doing this —> Peter is still a good guy for doing this but he did it maybe not for the right reasons. As it turns out, Peter is unquestionably the bad guy. Peter was the bad guy from the start, Peter was the bad guy while he was saving the little girl.

The rest of the book is handled like this: Peter is cool and badass —> Peter is mischievous but still the person we want to follow —> Peter is a psycho...but still cool —> Oh shit Peter has a super awful past and his psycho-ness is the result of being a victim so I forgive him —> Wow Peter’s both a psycho and an asshole—> Okay I dunno about Peter —> The author keeps having Peter save people from being raped as if he’s not an asshole but he’s still a psycho and an asshole so I still don’t know —> The plot has a a lot of stuff so I guess I’m still with Peter —> Okay Peter won but everyone is dead because of him and he’s still an asshole so I still don’t know.

Peter tricks victims of rape, abuse, slavery, etc. into thinking they’re being saved when in fact he objectifies them for his personal needs. Remember how I said this book’s insane tonal confusion isn’t subtle? Well, from the book’s perspective, putting a finger on Peter’s good side and bad side...is subtle. Problematically subtle. Which, on a literary standpoint, sounds like a good thing, but...

This is the part when I say the thing you ACTUALLY SHOULDN’T BE SUBTLE ABOUT is PETER. You CAN be subtle about his tragic backstory. Be subtle about sprinkling his good qualities over his CAKE TOWER of BADNESS. Give him some KICK. Have the flavors INTERACT. Make the audience be like “OOOH, is that cumin?? Interesting! HMMMM! INTERESTING! CUMIN! ON DORITOS! YEAh I am definitely eating Doritos, this is absolutely Doritos, but there’s some CUMIN in there! Okay, back to eating my DORITOS! OOOOH, IS THAT CAYENNE?????” But whatever you do, make it CLEAR what you are SERVING. You should not have a MIXED BAG, a MEDLEY, and try to sell it like not-a-medley. You should NOT make half your plate super spicy and half your plate super sweet and make the audience roll the dice on each bite they take. Peter Pan isn’t some complexass Faustian character study, it’s SUBVERSIVE HYPERVIOLENT DARK FANTASY PORN. IT’S DORITOS

This is how the voice of the opener should've been handled: Child rape —> Peter prevents child rape and saves child —> Peter is the bad guy.

This is how the voice of the rest of the book should've been handled: No matter what happens —> Peter is the bad guy.

I don’t have and never will have the literary criticism credentials to say anything with credible boldness, but I’m going to say this anyway: Using child rape to force the reader to feel a certain way about the tone of the world and the first heroic impression of a character is wrong. Forcing an act of heroism (especially for you to then later say “Just kidding not the hero”) in that context is inappropriate and wrong. That’s like throwing 9/11 into the background of a love story to force the audience to feel extra emotional. 1) There are many, many, many, many ways you can establish “realness” in your opener with or without violence. I’m not saying there is a hierarchy of what kind of awful things involving children are okay to write about, but opening your story with attempted child rape is an unnecessary extreme if parts of your story reads like an episode of Saved By The Bell. Revenge alone isn’t cool. John Wick is cool because of the way revenge is handled. Writing about attempted child rape and then immediate revenge on the rapist is the Epipen-shot-to-the-brain method of forcibly getting your audience to go “I LIKE PETER!”, which isn’t at all earned and probably shouldn’t be in your story… 2) ESPECIALLY if you don’t simultaneously establish with slats nailed on a wall that Peter is the bad guy. The author basically deceived the audience into liking Peter in the worst way possible, ironically, which is what he had Peter do to the other characters. If you want to cleverly deceive the audience into liking Peter, do it through his dialogue, personality, the externalized product of the relationship between him and his environment. Be inventive about it. It’s a book. You got words. Use...words to your advantage. If you want to open your story with attempted child rape at the very least as a way to tell the audience this shit’s serious, don’t.

Just don’t. It’s fine.

The Child Thief can’t be pinned as So Bad It’s Good. It’s poor, but it’s not Tommy Wiseau-acclaim-bad. The only way I can describe it is So Disorderly It’s Weird. But it has potential for being SO Weird It’s Kind Of Genius. Which makes it So Almost SO Weird It’s Kind Of Genius It’s Frustrating.

The book’s biggest detriment is that it takes itself too seriously. The author’s motivating in writing the book (this is fact) was that he recognized that the beloved original tale of Peter Pan has a lot of dark elements, but continues to be celebrated as a children’s story. And he wanted to take that notion and run with it. What happened was that he selectively fell in love with elements of that concept, and instead of writing a story that was meant to pull the rug from under us, he ended up writing a run-of-the-mill edgy dark fantasy that he was obliged to pepper with Peter Pan references. Instead of pulling the entire rug beneath our feet and hauling us onto our asses, he took a small handful of rug here and there and just occasionally tugged at it roughly, so that we’d almost lose our balance and get annoyed and tell him to stop.

The book lacks its own conceptual self-awareness that it built for itself, and the result is two different bodies trying to be forcibly shoved into the same book-sized box, when it should’ve been a new gross, satirical, humorous, unique body entirely.

In that sense, I really think this book could’ve been truly unironically awesome. I love the idea of cartoonishly exaggerating the dark elements (especially the violence) of the original tale that have been culturally ignored, like a lot of (or most) (or all) old children’s tales. My ideal solution to this book would actually be making it even more ridiculous in every way, but strung together with self-awareness and intention, where the author could acknowledge that the absurdity is instrumental, not indulgent. There are many aspects of the book that I really like thematically, and none of them are fully (or at all) seen through to their potential. These ideas aren’t really intentionally presented in the book, but: I like the idea that Peter is a sadistic volatile killing machine because he’s cursed with being riiiiiight on the cusp of hitting puberty, and his body is trapped without that natural sexual/psychological release, turning him into an aggressive animal constantly teased by unfulfilled subconscious heat. I like the idea that the lost boys element would be subverted into an inevitable Lord of the Flies esque shitstorm. I like the idea that the danger and villainy are at first generalized in adults but eventually presented in the children. I like the idea that every single possible fucking thing in the world—both the real world (mostly nyc LoL!) and Neverland—are a threat and are actively trying to kill the children, and the children treat it like an adventure before the horror becomes real. I like the idea of illustrating the outcome of blindly following fun naive figures of leadership. There are even a number of character interaction scenes that I like format wise. Just minus the embarrassing dialogue. That stuff's easy to rewrite in your head as you read it. Also I would take out that part in the book that I described as Bette Midler not having a shirt on while preying on a 6 year old. That part was really fucking uncomfortable. Seriously wtf, Gerald Brom.

I must concede this notion: The writer didn’t set out to create a masterpiece. He wrote the book to have fun. He succeeded, and his readers expected the same thing and received the experience they wanted. Of all the things that could’ve landed in my hands and tickled me in a weird enough way to make me wish it was better, for some reason it had to be this.

I could keep going, but...eh, (sigh).

But lastly—again, the descriptive writing of the world is very lush, and at times effectively horrific. The reading experience is a constant stop and start call-and-response of really great potential, really clumsy writing, and really misunderstood tonal directions. All those things put this book directly on the edge of FRUSTRATING. Uniquely frustrating. It couldn’t have been salvaged by the hands of a more competent writer, because the product came to light specifically out of the author’s unintentional confusion, not his laziness. A lazy product with potential can be salvaged through additions and tweaks, but The Child Thief cannot because the story was seen through the way it existed in the author’s head and heart. It is exactly what it...is. It can’t be imitated, or inspired by, or re-re-imagined. This weirdass fucking book is just sitting on this planet, being read by people, and shit.

…..Anyway. This was all just meant to be the caption for my fan art. http://jennacha.tumblr.com/post/172559227502/i-made-fan-art-of-a-book-i-both-love-and-hate-lol

#the child thief #brom #gerald brom

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